#and a lot of times the information sucks
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the other day a patron came in asking about shelters to stay in. everywhere in the county is full so all we could do was explain when it's technically legal to sleep in the park across the street-- a total of 8 hours, between 10pm and 6am. better than our sister city who cut it to 4. you can't legally put up a tent there-- people complained it was an eyesore, and anyone who tried was kicked out two weeks ago to make room for the christmas light displays.
the centerpiece is a nativity, by the way. you know. with the baby born outside because no one could or would offer his parents shelter.
#i genuinely love my job but there are some moments that just.#i work in a library#my job is to help you get whatever information you need#and a lot of times the information sucks#the information is just 'sorry your power is gonna get shut off because the utility place is closed the day you get paid'#or 'there's no services for this thing you need to survive'#and all the people around here who never have to worry about putting food on their table or heating their homes#work to make life even worse for the ones that do#because... why? i don't know#my mom is a member (lurker) of a local facebook group where people talk about community issues#and it's devolved into people talking about the best ways to get away with assaulting or murdering our houseless population#mostly as 'jokes'#but their actual actions have the same impact#defunding public housing just kills a little slower than poisoning their dinner
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Quackity: These past days I've been in many calls, and I'm not done yet. I've spoken to a lot of people and creators. I've read your comments and I'm well aware of what needs to be done to carry out this project. I want to tell you all, beforehand, that for me the team's well-being is fundamental. I'm very involved in this topic to sort it out and I want to make that very clear. I want to tell you something... I want to tell you all that the administrative staff responsible for so much harm to the project has been fired. Specifically, those who made decisions without my permission, affecting the administrative and financial area of the project. Consequently, after this, I was in charge of doing a financial analysis that's carrying out for the QSMP.
Guys, to be really honest, it was not going to last. Therefore, I've had to make deep drastic structural changes that have lead me to reduce the performance of the server down to the most essential, and this is in order to ensure the well being of everyone involved in it. Having said this, I want to give a very important update: I want to let you all know that the QSMP will have to slow down temporarily. This is to ensure this new structure adapts to the project, because it's a restructuring that's taking place. I'm letting you know, and I reiterate, there are no voluntary positions inside the QSMP.
At the moment, there will not be any more individual update accounts of all 5 existing languages in the project. In any case, during this transition, there's going to be a temporal absence of all Eggs and NPCs. I know these are difficult changes, and I repeat, it's temporary until we adjust to these new conditions that will improve the performance of this new structure that's being made from scratch, both in the administrative and financial part. I'd like to reintegrate people fro the QSMP as time goes by if a financial viability can be found for the project Taking advantage of this update to tell you guys that within the changes of the server as it is, creators will have full control of their lore and stories. The team will not intervene in the way that it was being done. Moreover, efforts will be made to change the competitive dynamics inside the game so as to ease up the game style for the creators. Like I'm saying, all of these changes, and more, are being carrying out to have the project as best as possible, and they're being done little by little. This is a whole new structure that will ensure the best continuity and experience for the creators, the community and the team behind.
Guys, I want to make very clear that this is restructuring process, and again, it's not a fast one. The server being open does not mean everything's perfect, I understand that very well. Conversations will keep taking place, communication will continue and the constant improvement of the project as well. I ask, please, for everyone's patience and understanding regarding all changes. Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread. I want to tell you all something- if you don't trust in these changes or have many doubts about it, and don't want to consume any more of the project's content, I understand 100%. I have a personal commitment with the QSMP and I will work until it functions in the way it is supposed to do.
Lastly, I want to let you know that it was being worked on for months on finalizing the integration of Korean creators to the QSMP. For that reason, tomorrow we will be welcoming the new Korean creators of the QSMP, of course, taking into account all the changes I've just mentioned. I hope you can give the new Korean members warm welcome to the project. And as you know, their schedules are earlier. For everyone who would like to watch, they will be joining at 11am Mexico time and at 9am US time. Basically, I wanted to give that update regarding everything that's being done within the project. Again, thank you for your patience and understanding- these are necessary changes and I'm glad they're being done now. And many more things will keep being adjusted.
via @QuackitySubs
#Quackity#QSMP#QSMP Official#Translated#This is very long and I bolded parts to make it easier to read#but if there's a way to make it more accessible to folks lemme know!#I personally find the bolding thing helpful but I know everyone is different#Edit: got rid of the additional ''Quackity:'' bolded parts since that's unnecessary#since. you know. he's the only one speaking here#Quackity Subs also missed a few words in here so I added those in but otherwise this is exactly what was posted#Minus the part where they said ''fro''#I don't know if they meant for or from but that's a very vital difference so I'm leaving that as-is#IMO: It's reassuring hearing the full statement#''Please do wait for official announcements since a lot of incomplete and incorrect information is being spread''#is an especially important reminder#There has unfortunately been a lot of misinformation and catastrophizing / doomposting going around#I understand it's a very scary stressful time for many people#and it sucks being told to be patient#but we actually DO need to be patient if we want to get actual accurate information
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doing a social experiment poll for KH circles. answer to the best of your ability via the tags/replies
Including the DLC, did you like Kingdom Hearts 3's story, gameplay, both or neither?
Then, what YEAR (or window of time) did you get into Kingdom Hearts as a franchise and genuinely start playing through the games?
#kingdom hearts#stormy weather#if you cant remember the exact year give a window of time where you might've gotten into it#like between 2012 and 2014 for example#im just noticing a correlation between a lot of this information#for me personally i got into Kingdom Hearts back in 2008#and i am very divided about how much i liked or disliked kh3#but i think im an outlier#also edit to the tags#thank you for being respectful about this#i know the kh3 discourse is a huge point of contention#and i am not exempt from that#but just being able to say 'this was okay and this sucked' and leave it at that is very respectful thank u <3
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> OTHER: Contrive some sort of SCHEME.
Oh, yes, this is very exciting. You love a good SCHEME, and it is marvelous to get to concoct one so early in the day. This bodes very well for how the rest of your day will progress.
Now it is time to play your favorite game:
“What could possibly happen?”
This is a very fun game where you attempt to devise every single possible series of events that could occur in the course of enacting your SCHEME. You play all of these scenarios out to their logical end and then some in order to guarantee that your plan goes flawlessly and that you have accounted for any potential risks. As you know, you are very good at thinking, and knowing things keeps your heartbeat regular and makes you not nauseous, so this game is one of your favorite activities.
You open up your JOURNAL and begin to take notes on your SCHEME. Since you are pressed for time, you do not delve as deeply into the potential scenarios as you usually would; although this unnerves you, you believe you have drafted sufficient options as to determine several effective courses of action. You wager you can exploit FERDINAND'S weaknesses for TEA and PHYSICAL AFFECTION to make him see reason and agree to attend BREAKFAST with you, ensuring he vacates your QUARTERS in a timely manner.
#008 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS
#fe3h#fe16#cyoa#fire emblem#hpnd#sterge.pptx#ferdibert#hubert von vestra#ferdinand von aegir#fire emblem three houses#this one took A Lot longer than expected if you can believe it#me [stoned off my ass]: what if i made a game called What Could Possibly Happen where you list out everything that could possibly happen#me [an idiot]: that won't take a long time. i'm sure i could bang that out quick. this is a really good and funny idea.#me [four days of trying to make nested accordions later]: this sucks so much#i don't know what i thought this game would look like.#thus it's not really a game. i guess you can win (?)#whatever. it Should help inform your vote so i guess that's all that matters lol#every time i do one of these i say i'll scale it back on the next activity#and then when i go to do the next one#i say 'what could possibly happen'#dunce
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I think that the 2010's media landscape of Buzzfeed articles about plotholes in disney movies, Cinemasins critiques, and Watchmojo Top Ten scenes in movies that make no sense has truely ruined a lot of media. People are afraid that their work will be torn down if they dare leave a single thing up in the air, if they dare ask their audience to suspend their disbelief.
All too often nowadays I see stories (especially fantasy), take the time to explain how every small aspect of the world works and how it all logically makes sense. The constant time stopped to explain why an event happened, how this object works, or why this is important to the characters. It's just really not needed and it honestly makes a lot of stories worse.
I am of the opinion that the best stories truly just drop you into their world and explain nothing. They just take you through the story of this world and you just have to accept it and continue on. "When he became king, the land became barren." I don't want the story to stop and explain why this is, or how it happened, I want us to move on so we can just assume that the king has such rancid vibes that everything died.
#simon says#i watched the Last Unicorn again recently and it fucking slaps#and I noticed a huge part of why it slapped is because it doesn't explain shit#same with a lot of other fantasy things from the 70's and 80's I've noticed#and even older stories all the way back to fairy tales and fables#they just tell you something and move on#and it works!#a lot of the time it feels far too hand-holdy or immersion breaking for the characters to stop and explain something for the audience#like these characters would not take the time to explain the aspects of their world in detail to other people who live in this world#this is clearly for the audience only and so that they can feel more satisfied with an answer#but it fucking sucks!!#it is bad writing!!#to presume your audience has no suspension of disbelief so you stop everything to explain how the world works for them alone is bad!#it makes the story feel awkward because it feels out of character for the people of the world to talk like that and it feels insulting tbh#like you really think the audience's ability to pick up details of the world from dialog and onscreen (or page) information is that poor??#and to some extent it is#lord knows we are having a serious media literacy and general literacy issue in the United States#but it's honestly just bad writing and it bugs me so much. my number 1 pet peeve in fantasy is overexplaining especially when it doesn't fit#like just fucking tell me that there's a magical world on the other side of this wall in a village and move on#i can just accept this fact#imagine if the Dark Crystal took the time to explain every aspect of the world#that movie is already jam packed with random story and world bits that you just have to accept and move on from#now imagine if they took a solid 2 minutes to explain what the fuck Fizzgig is.#i think leaving it at 'he's a friendly monster and Kira's friend!' is the perfect place to leave it at#we do not need a full explanation on Fizzgig's species and behavior and why he's friendly unlike other monsters#he's a friendly monster and he's Kira's friend! that's all we need to know! we got a dark crystal to put back together!!!
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I wish all jujutsu kaisen fans a very media literacy and manga reread
#Shut up shut up the ending makes sense just take ur time to read and ponder it doesn't have to be explicitly held held explained to u#I won't insist that my every interpretation is 100% correct but thr beauty of story is it can mean what it needs to for readers as individua#I'm so content with the way that it ended bc yeah I have read and spun theories and reread it until it made sense#I didn't understand much the first time it always takes several reads and translations notes help a lot too#But there IS a lot of information there if you're open to finding it#Gege is rly thr best it's so unfortunate#Jujutsu kaisen fans can't read#Like are we even fans if we talk shit on the author?? I don't think you are but why read just to hate it??#Jjk ending#Jjk manga#Gege did nothing wrong#Rant#Vent#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fandom#There are things I'd never understand on my own but lovely readers do research and share what they learn about historical culture language#Context etc and idk I also get that it's hard to sort through. The majority of takes are easily debunked. But if you just. If you just read#The manga several times.... It gets better and more intense and sensical and emotional every time...#Sigh#Sorry I'm sleep deprived and sick of all the gege hate on my fyp!#It never ends I never interact I hide those posts but they still show#Which means I follow a closet hater or the algorithm sucks ass#Probably#Gege akutami#I owe u my life#This last year has been rly hard and idk how I would've survived without your work#I hope u have a good rest and recreational period for as long as u want to
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busy trying not to let panicking depresso espresso brain take over my life rn
#im not functionally in trouble for anything kinda#but i left my wired headphones in and visible yesterday by accident and it kiiinda got us a safety bulletin this morning#about how theyre like ... blanket banned from this site ...... even though were in a fucking field all day and its dull as hell#but that aside like the site leader im with takes the 'i dont give a fuck but dont get me in trouble' stance#and in fairness i wasnt the only one mine were just more obvious lol#but i also KNOW he's one of a select group of petty gossipmongerers#the guy is usually pretty cordial and was nice for the rest of the day#like functionally i still did my job and went beyond by forwarding missing information after work#so whoever has to finish my paperwork can do it easily without manually flipping through everything#it was an accident ;____; i just had noise in because my brain was being a dick this week#'i dont care if people like me' i say .. sniffling ...#the only reason this is a problem is because our primary contractor sucks lmao#theyve got profession & site wide rules and this one is because yes its dangerous to work in close proximity with plant with headphones#are we anywhere near plant ??? no. is everyone single earbudding this just in case of an emergency???? yes.#do we spend all day in a field alone a lot of the time in miserable ass conditions ??? yes!!#are we that dumper driver who drove OVER someones truck because they were blasting metal into their skulls??? NO.#and aside aside from that he did say to one of the guys he likes most 'if they cant then you cant' and made him take his out#so like ... i think im fine im just kfjskfj#anyway im fine im just embarrassed and stressed#rory's ramblings
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🤪
#constantly going back on fourth on whether to respect that dan decided to cut his autism rant from the script#and just let it lie and move on since he cut it for a reason and it maybe kinda sucks to keep dragging it up#vs wanting to talk about it all the time bc a lot of phannies aren't aware of what he said in Antwerp#and it does add a lot of context to some of the “jokes” he's been making about autism lately#like i don't think he's “identifying with autistic traits” i think he's using autism as a punchline to a joke#because of the additional context i have of the Antwerp rant. but so many people aren't aware that he's vehemently denied being autistic#so now it rings hollow to me when he makes autism jokes but a lot of people seem to think he's being cute and wholesome or whatever#idk i kinda wish they'd addressed it a bit more than just a cryptic comment in a q&a shortly after the fact#because now i don't really know what to do with this information 😭#i think maybe it's also just dan trying to bait phannies/repeating jokes he's seen on here to be more relatable#but like idk it's a bit of a minefield since uh. he clearly isn't autistic so he needs to tread very carefully with making autism jokes#but people aren't aware of that fsdfghkl
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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Some people: Kaeya’s bio father is an abusive monster who abandoned his son in order to achieve his own selfish goals. He is an evil man who deserves everything awful that might happen to him.
Other people: Kaeya’s bio father did the right thing and leaving Kaeya in Mondstadt was the only way to give him a halfway-decent life. He is a better father than he is given credit for and should not be as hated as he is.
Me: Kaeya’s bio father is integral to the general ‘war is hell and bad choices can reverberate across time’ thing that Genshin seems to be going for. He made unethical choices, but mostly because the ONLY OPTIONS HE HAD WERE UNETHICAL. If our understanding of the Alberich’s role in Khaenri’ah is accurate, General Alberich (my name for him until stated otherwise) was suddenly in charge of a hopeless and dead kingdom which begged to be saved. Assuming that there was a reason Kaeya specifically was chosen for this mission, General Alberich was forced into a position where he needed to choose between the lives/future of every Khaenri’an vs the life and future of his young son. Abandoning either is an awful thing to do and a horrible decision, but the bad decisions of Celestia and Rhinedottir have led to a scenario where General Alberich can only make bad decisions. In the end, he chose to prioritize his people and made his young son into a spy. We do not know the process for this, but knowing how much Hoyoverse loves to torment people (especially Khaenri’ans) we can assume that this process was horrific for Kaeya and could definitely be considered abuse. General Alberich is effectively making his son into a child soldier for a war that the majority of people never wanted or asked for, and one Kaeya was likely far too young to understand. At least, until he was forced to grow up far too quickly in order to fulfill his duty. General Alberich likely loathed everything about what was happening and even in his last moments with his son he asks for forgiveness. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but to turn back now is to both abandon his subjects and make everything that happened to Kaeya in order to turn him into a child spy be for nothing. So yeah, General Alberich is a terrible person who made horrible choices. But war and the bad actions of others have created a situation where he has nothing BUT horrible choices and where being a terrible person is the only thing he can be. And that’s without considering how the curse/abyssal corruption could impact the scenario.
#idk#I just think that Kaeya's father is kinda an Asgore situation#where the only decisions he could possibly make were awful and unethical ones but choosing neither would create an even worse outcome#also I want to clarify that both of the other interpretations that I parroted before giving my own thoughts are valid#because we are working with such limited information and yeah no shit people are gonna have differing thoughts#people have differing beliefs and perspectives on things which are CANONICALLY CONFIRMED to be clear situations with lots of info about it#so of course people are going to go in like 80 different directions with his character#BECAUSE WE HAVE NEXT TO NOTHING TO GO OFF OF#and basically every interpretation of him I've seen is pretty reasonable#Like yeah man's son is a child spy who was abandoned in a far away country for the purpose of being a spy for Khaenri'ah's interests#thinking that he was an abusive asshole isn't exactly unreasonable#nor is it unreasonable to believe that he was actually a decent man who left his son in Mondstadt as the 'only hope' of Khaenri'ah#because he just wanted Kaeya to live on and have a life outside of the Abyss#and Kaeya was mistaken when he thought he was simply being left behind as a pawn#Genshin is no stranger to unreliable narrators and this wouldn't be the first time a character story wildly mischaracterizes something#so like...both of those interpretations are valid#and pretty fair ones as well#But I think that it really is like an Asgore situation where yeah this guy sucks and he is an awful person who made so many bad choices#But also was left with nothing BUT bad choices through war and grief and other factors that were genuinely outside of his control#Sacrifice your son's childhood and happiness by forcing him to be a child spy and abandoning him in the middle of a deadly storm#or let your people (including yourself) rot away into nothingness while facing a fate worse than death while they all but scream to be saved#there are no good options#kaeya's father#don't take this too seriously I just really liked Undertale when I was younger and I'm getting Asgore vibes from General Alberich
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I miss you all and I wanna come back, but the minute I’m back here I sigh and close the app I just can’t 😭 but I hope you all know :
#am i doing okay ? same old I’m getting distract from my duties with hyper fixation it’s not okay ✌️ jcndjdnd#i literally come look at dms reblog what I’m being sent or what I see when I open the app cause I feel like if I go further something#is going to make me mad that’s why I left#every day Internet disappoint me and I want to cry#i spent a lot of time on Twitter reblogging Palestine infos and I should come here at least once a day reblog things about them and leave#you can follow me there if you want it’s Korimi29#i should also learn how to share things on insta I suck at using insta#if you want to send me things about what’s happening so I can reblog them that would be great I can inform people#this is the only thing + boycott I can do I should do it better#anyway I Hope you’re all doing well don’t forget free Palestine and take care of yourself ily all see you one day !#also last time I made a post I said Puppy was not doing great well thankfully that change I think it’s was the stress playing with his heart#alex.txt
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love figuring things out about my character while playing them that just make the things I've already written about them make more sense. like i'm a genius at character creation actually
#avoids more tense/big/important cases like murders and such supposedly just because they're dangerous and ought to be police cases#except get this -> it's also cos she sucks at working under time pressure or on things with little basis to work off of#because i realised she doesn't like jumping to conclusions and prefers to take a little more time to collect as much information as possibl#and put it all together#which is unfortunate when someone is after you or there's lots of different things going on or any time pressure#ttrpgs#ttrpg characters#blake grimshaw
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over emotional older sisters and their confused younger brothers who have to deal with them
#omg kiera no one cares#this is about mykah and then also about me because like you cant have a post about mykah with it including me#it really sucks to like watch a kid just live your life really#like hey man it really doesn't get better!!!! I'm sorry!!! at least your parents got divorced tho i told my mom I'd kill myself if she left#i was your age too so like i get it!! hate to tell you this tho but it mostly gets worse and he doesn't really get better unless he goes on#a lot a lot of drugs!#she just started crying this morning and was like I'm just being over emotional like wow I've said that too all the time at that age#mykah is sooo kieracoded and that's why she hates when i tell her anything#we butt heads because she's me<33#I've been thinking about this all day and i just cried lol so#i hope she isn't as bad as me tho because i stood in the kitchen with a knife to me when my mom got divorce INFORMATION#like dubi I'll do it you leave him I'll do it i don't care that he's sooo mean and violent I'll end everything right now at 6½#forgot i did that until just now but wow great times<33#can laugh about it now hahahaha
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Me rewatching True Detective, fully knowing of the fact that I'm incapable of being normal abt anything, and finding myself getting increasingly more insane about it as the days go on: ah look it's consequences of my actions
#this is why theres certain things i feel like i can never rewatch/reread again bcs they will take over my life#generation kill? i keep delayinf watching it even tho i rly want to bcs i know its just gonna take me over again#i didnt think id get obsessive abt true detective#bcs when i watched it the first time i noted that it had a fandom but didnt get into it at all#so im like yeah okay this is safe to rewatch! i like it a lot but its not gonna make insane#guys. i regret to inform you i feel insane.#lol also sry this whole break has been me rediscovering old fandom loves#so i keep having to be like 'WHY DID I GET BACK INTO THIS'#its just a stop gap i think tbh#BUT WHY DID I GET INTO THIS SO SOON BEFORE F1 COMES BACK UGGHHHHHH#also i think another factor is that have no one to talk abt vett/onso meta or AUs with#so my brain is just constantly searching for smth to latch onto#i keep getting sucked into old things and rediscovering my love#and its all very fufilling but ah man it makes me feel so insane ig#love bursting out of its seams and all that#haha just hoping tho main fandom will be a bit more active and communicative once it starts up again#stop my eyes from wandering anf all that#but anwyays yeah. i feel sooooooooo crazy abt TD#every time i watch another ep my brain is like 'man i wanna rewatch from the very start again'#im very loath to finsih things yknow?#theres a difference btwn completely starting smth over when you finish it#and savoring the world youre in before finishing it#yeah you can watch smth an endless amnt of times. but theres smth abt existing in that space btwn the start and the end#but aaaaghhh every aspect i just am so desperately into it#catie.rambling.txt
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why is it so much worse knowing how many people out there want me (& everyone in this body) dead cause we don't feel empathy than knowing about the ones who want the same cause we're trans
#i mean i guess it's cause we live in a bubble where most people we know are trans#n the whole 'empathy makes us human' thing is a rly popular opinion in the more progressive circles#i guess it's. just another item in the long list of traits that might make us subhuman to others#we don't even have it as bad as people w/ like aspd n stuff. it's a lot easier to hide for us#usually will come off as social awkwardness instead#but every time there's a video going around the mainstream sm where someone w/ low/no empathy talks about how their mind works#the majority of the comments are just so. dehumanizing. like we're some rabid animals that need to be put down for public safety#n i guess causw it's so inherently linked to whatever it is about our wiring that makes us so. different from almost everyone else.#why we can't seem to connect w/ people n why we feel so fucking isolated all the time#like we just came out wrong n there's no fixing it#& the way we've lately come to understand more how much dmg our mother prevented w/ her parenting#but also how much of it that stuck coulda been prevented if she'd had the tools & safe environment#i don't even mean like. the trauma shit. but the things that needed to be noticed n steered into a different direction when we were small#instead of us wreaking havoc up to our late teens when we finally connected some dots that most people have connected from birth#though i think most of the usual ways of correcting it are more or less abusive. there's ones that aren't but idk how accessible that info#woulda been 20+ years ago#anyway it just really sucks how our fb feed tries to give us some light informative vids on people w/ similar experiences in some areas#n the comments are 80% ppl throwing around diagnoses they don't understand#n holding us responsible for everything their shitty abusive ex/parent/boss did#n literally sayin shit like 'people like this are better off dead'#not very good for my mental health#even though i don't give much more value to those people than they put on ones like me#spdrvent
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also its very funny bc choosing a misdeeds mission will have mistos going up to you and being like 😒 do you REALLY wanna do this one. like the one im doing rn is about this sibling who was like hey. i dont want my sister to date. kill the guy shes dating. and mistos was like this is mushy relationship stuff and i dont wanna get involved :///// and when i get there, shalvas starts the battle with smth along the lines of i really dont want to do this but here we go. literally what is his deal
#twist rambles#♟#normally hes like ok ^-^ lets go into battle. its very funny to me bc its not JSUT my guilt over doing anything bad in games but they#will just be fucking miserable when u do evil missions. its very funny to me bc like. shalvas DOES have an established character. 10000% bu#if vol/foss was popular i knowwww people would give him the giorno treatment of no personality and he sucks to a majority of people.#but anyways it IS silly to me that mistos has to give his 2 cents on every mission you go on. even if its not an evil one. i think he prob#is mad at shalvas for taking this evil mission but shalvas is also on mad at me island due to me making him do this one so. really its only#fair. or something. its silly to me i like the little touches that they add. bc idk like normally ur protag in a game is pretty moldable to#ur choices. ie like. tw2s you have to pick the guys that suck so bad or the elves we are insanely racist to for a lot of the game#and like. when u look canonically. peepaw does notttt like to pick sides w the war. and esp since he doesnt have his memory back fully by#the time he makes that choice theres no way that he can use his prev knowledge from the LAST war to inform his choice. and that game treate#it as like yeah siding w the govt who are notoriously rly bad or the elves who are well. they sure fit them into the trope of i wrote a bad#guy and he has valid points but to make sure ppl hate him i have to have him do extreme evil. so u dont WANT to choose the elves side.#unless u suffered thru the really fucking bad racism in the books irt that. which i did. so for me its very funny to like. see vol/foss#handle the thing of ok u have choices and one of them is something it doesnt seem like the protag would do. in a more natural way ig.
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