#and a lot of it was my fault and i can admit it

[rekino2114]

40Angst to fluff~ :you flinch during an argument ❤️‍🩹

Let's go with the girls. I think this would fit and be most affected by the flinch. Soo~ Arei nageishi, Maki harukawa, and Tenko chabashira with a Male S/O.

I was gonna choose either junko or Mukuro, but Tenko is more interesting since with a Male S/O, it's a genuine worry given how she gets with other guys. Also, I'm hoping that with the prompt, the M. S/O has a history of either being mistreated by an S/O or their family.

Arei, maki and tenko reacting to you flinching during an argument

Arei nageishi

Arguments with arei are unfortunate, pretty frequent, obviously she doesn't hate you, and wouldn't do things that purposefully make you angry but her personality is just the type that gets angry easily and can make even small disagreements escalate into arguments

However, despite how much she yells and gets angry at you during these arguments, one thing she will never do is raise her hands on you. Not only does she not actually mean most of the stuff she says when she's arguing but she also thinks that's just despicable, she may not be a good person but she's not a monster

So when she saw you flinch, she could not let that go. She refused to leave you alone until you told her everything that was going on, she was a bit aggressive but it was because she was genuinely concerned about you

Whenever you told her everything, she was a mix of emotions, mainly anger, both at your family but also a little bit at you because you didn't tell her earlier. Her own sisters did some very similar to her, so she felt she could relate to you, and you could help each other cope with the trauma, but now that she knows she's going to be there for you

"Are you an idiot? Do you seriously think I'd ever hurt you? I love you and I'm not like those assholes like our families, I actually care about you.....a lot. So don't ever think I'd do something like that OK?"

Maki harukawa

Ever since Maki revealed her true ultimate to you, you felt kinda intimidated by her, you knew she loved you and would never hurt you, it still felt kinda uncomfortable and scary living with someone who has killed people before and could kill you

So maki tried her best to make you feel safe around her, constantly saying she how much she cared about you and that she'd never do anything to harm you and most importantly never raise her voice in arguments, she didn't want to give you the impression she was more upset than she actually was

However, one time during a particularly nasty argument, she started to yell and to make matters worse, tried to touch you which caused you to flinch. When she saw you flinch her eyes widened and she forgot whatever reason why she was angry, she needed to hear the reason why you flinched

When you explained what happened to you, she was mortified. She immediately apologized for raising her voice and causing you to flinch, but even after you told her it wasn't her fault, the guilt still didn't disappear, she reassured you again that she was never going to hurt you and that she will help you heal from what happened, you were her precious boyfriend after all

"Listen y/n I know I may appear.....distant at times but just know that I love you and will never ever in my life do anything to hurt you, I would much rather die than harm you....so please just know that I will stay with you and help you with whatever happened, I'm here for you"

Tenko chabashira

You have seen how aggressive tenko can be with men, and you have also seen beat the absolute crap out them for some basic misunderstanding or because they "gave her a bad vibe" so it's no surprise that even if she tried to convince you she'd never do that to you and that you were different from other guys you still felt a bit scared of her

During arguments, tenko tends to be very loud. She's just very passionate about what she believes is right, and so she doesn't really like losing fights but will admit when she's wrong even if embarrassed. But when she saw you flinch her attitude completely.

She will never hit you, hitting the man she loves is not only the least honorable thing she could ever do, the thought itself makes her sick, you're one of the very few great guys in this world why would she ever consider hurting you?

She genuinely thought about beating up whatever men in your family hurt you. She loves you and absolutely hates the fact that someone else hurt someone as perfect as you, but now she's here for you and is never let anyone hurt you again

"I get it now, you though I was like your family, but you're wrong.....u-uh I mean I'd never hurt you like them, I bet most of them were degenerate males, they're nothing like you, you're sweet and kind and perfect and I will protect you from everyone and everything, if someone hurts you again just call me and I'll kick their ass"

[concretejunglefm]

hello, meu bem!! on that fluff thing, can i ask for jolly + "i am hereby forcing you to take my love, and there’s nothing you can do about it." + taking a bath together pretty please? 🤧

love you!

doing what I discussed with you and linking it back to this fic of yours meu anjo 💕

CW: mentions of pregnancy but a lot of fluff

You’ve finally stopped crying over the squirrels in your garden, but months later, you find yourself crying over other things, some of which have logical explanations, while others may not, yet they trigger your hormone-ridden brain.

“Is the baby making you cry again?” Jolly asks, a cheeky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as you wipe your eyes.

“No,” you mumble in protest, but you can’t deny that it’s partly true.

Lately, whenever he makes even the slightest, sweet gesture, you’re on the verge of losing it. Especially now, as he presents you with a warm bath, one that he’s meticulously researched the perfect temperature for. A baby information book rests on the edge of the sink; it’s one of the many books he’s been diligently reading during your entire pregnancy.

“No?” he asks, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow at you. You know he can sense when you’re lying, but you’re not about to admit that you’re letting your child dictate your emotions, even though they’ve made you extra sensitive and sentimental.

“No, it’s clearly your fault.” You emphasize with a huff, and the corner of your mouth curls into a playful smile. You can’t resist teasing him, even a little. Technically, he is to blame. If he hadn’t been this attentive of a partner, you wouldn’t be getting so emotional over him.

“Here, let me help you,” Jolly offers his hand, and you instinctively take it. His fingers envelop your hand in a tight grip as he guides you into the tub. His free hand rests on your lower back, steadying you before you sink into the water.

You instantly sigh as you’re submerged, the round of your bump being the only part that pokes out from beneath the bubbles. “It’s perfect,” you muse contentedly, your hands gently gliding through the water as you lean back and gaze at him. “What’s the occasion, anyway? Are you just looking to watch a pregnant woman struggling to climb from a tub?” You tease, your tongue peeking out between your front teeth as you scrunch up your nose.

“No, and that sounds cruel, don’t you think?” You shrug, partially amused by the idea, especially considering how much of a struggle you found the task of even putting on your socks at this point without his help

“My plan is to spoil you and make you relax,” Jolly continues, shedding the remaining layers of his clothing before positioning himself at the tub’s end and climbing in to sit across from you.

After he does so, he grips either side of the tub tightly, before leaning forward towards you and creating a soft squeal from you in response. “I am hereby forcing you to accept my love, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

When he leans in close enough, he kisses you softly and tenderly against your lips. Your hands instinctively reach up to cradle his face, drawing him closer as he settles comfortably between your thighs, avoiding any pressure against the bump lovingly pressed between you.

[pankowcrumbs]

Karaoke Confessions X Austin Butler (Requested)

MasterList

I’ve always known there was something dangerous about karaoke. Maybe it’s the cheap tequila. Maybe it’s the way it makes otherwise composed adults sing like they’re auditioning for The X Factor. But tonight? It wasn’t the off-key singing or the conga line through the Wetherspoons that got to me. It was Austin. My flatmate. Drunk, sun-kissed, California-born Austin Butler.

And now he’s currently half-collapsed on the sofa, still humming Wonderwall like he’s Liam Gallagher reborn.

I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor, nursing a glass of water and trying not to smile too obviously.

“You’re really going to keep singing that?” I ask, tipping my head back against the edge of the coffee table.

Austin opens one eye. “I’ve got a good voice, right?”

I snort. “You’ve got something. Whether it’s a voice or a hernia, I’m not sure.”

That earns a lazy laugh from him, one of those low, raspy chuckles that always makes my chest fizz a bit. He’s lying on the sofa like he owns the place legs spread, one arm flopped over his eyes, golden fringe a mess across his forehead.

He’s dangerously pretty, even like this.

“’S not my fault,” he mutters. “You put that song on. What did you expect me to do?”

“Maybe not scream it at the poor bartender,” I say, glancing over at him. “You owe her an apology tomorrow.”

He grins, peeking at me. “I’ll bake her a cake. You’ll help.”

“Will I?”

“Yeah. You like being domestic.”

I roll my eyes but laugh anyway. “Only because you can’t figure out how to use the washing machine.”

“Okay, that’s slander,” he protests, lifting his head. “I can use it. I just don’t know what half the settings mean. What’s ‘cotton eco’ even supposed to do?”

“Save the planet, probably. While cleaning your socks.”

He groans and lets his head fall back down. “Too many decisions.”

It’s quiet for a few moments, the kind of easy silence we’ve fallen into since moving in together four months ago. We weren’t exactly strangers when he moved to London for a few months for a movie we were mutual friends, flirty DMs, a couple of nights out before we signed the lease. But since living together, something’s shifted. Something’s building.

He’s been more… touchy lately. Soft glances, casual hand grazes in the kitchen, brushing hair from my face when I’m trying to cook. It’s subtle, but not nothing.

Still, I don’t know if I’m making it up in my head. I overthink. I spiral. I write romcoms in my imagination when really, I’m probably just his “mate with a spare room.”

I steal a glance at him now. His hand’s resting on his chest, fingers twitching to some invisible beat. There’s a pink flush high on his cheekbones. Whether from the drinks or the heat of the flat, I’m not sure.

“Y’know,” he says suddenly, breaking the silence. “You’re kind of stunning.”

I blink. “I’m sorry?”

He rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. His blue eyes are glassy but sincere.

“I said you’re stunning.”

“Okay,” I say slowly. “How many drinks did you have?”

“Too many,” he admits, then grins. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

I laugh, but it’s awkward now, heat crawling up my neck. “You’re drunk, Austin.”

“So? Drunk people tell the truth.”

“Or fall asleep mid-sentence and wake up in their jeans.”

He shrugs. “Still telling the truth.”

He’s looking at me like he means it, though. Not just a passing compliment. Like he’s seen me the messy bun, the faded hoodie, the toothpaste stain on my sleeve and still thinks I’m worth noticing.

And that? That’s dangerous.

“Don’t do that,” I say gently.

“Do what?”

“Say things like that if you don’t mean them.”

“I do mean them,” he replies, more serious now. “I’ve just… been crap at saying it.”

I chew my bottom lip, heart thudding. “Saying what?”

He sits up fully now, leaning forward, arms resting on his knees. His voice drops, soft and steady.

“That I like you. A lot. More than I should, probably. And I know it’s messy, being roommates and all, but… every time I come home and see you sitting in my hoodie or singing in the kitchen or making stupid jokes when I’ve had a crap day I just think, ‘God, I’m in trouble.’”

The room tilts slightly. Or maybe that’s just my brain. I set my water down carefully.

“You’re being serious?”

“Deadly,” he says. “I’ve fancied you since day one. Tried to play it cool, y’know? Be the chill American roommate. But it’s hard to be chill when I’m losing my mind over how good you look in my t-shirts.”

A tiny laugh escapes me, nervous and disbelieving. “That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he counters. “And brilliant. And funny. And I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

My breath catches.

“So do it,” I whisper.

He leans in slowly, testing the moment. Our faces are barely inches apart, his hand brushing against my cheek. His fingers are warm, slightly trembling.

“I’m gonna blame the tequila,” I murmur.

“You can blame whatever you want,” he says, voice low. “As long as you don’t stop me.”

And then he kisses me.

It’s gentle at first slow, almost tentative. But then I’m climbing onto the sofa, knees bracketing his thighs, and his hands slide beneath my hoodie to grip my waist. My fingers tangle in his hair, tugging him closer as the kiss deepens, hungrier now. His lips move against mine with a desperation I recognise. A slow-burning want that’s been simmering for weeks.

He groans into my mouth when I grind down slightly, his hands flexing at my hips. The sound goes straight to my stomach.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he mumbles against my jaw, trailing kisses along my neck, my collarbone. “You’ve no idea.”

I gasp as he sucks lightly at the skin beneath my ear. “You’re not the only one.”

His hands slide up, tugging the hoodie over my head and tossing it aside. His eyes flicker over me, lips parted, chest rising and falling a little faster.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says, reverently.

I laugh breathlessly. “You’re such a flirt.”

He smirks. “Only for you.”

His mouth finds mine again, and everything else falls away the telly still on in the background, the half-drunk pint glasses on the table, even the karaoke memories. There’s only this the warm press of his body, the taste of tequila and spearmint on his tongue, the way he whispers my name like a secret he’s finally allowed to say out loud.

And when we stumble toward my bedroom, hands roaming, clothes discarded like breadcrumbs, I know this isn’t just some drunken mistake. It’s been a long time coming.

I wake up tangled in sheets and limbs.

Austin’s arm is draped over my waist, his bare chest pressed against my back, legs knotted with mine under the duvet. His breathing is steady, warm against my neck. One of his hands is resting just beneath my ribs, fingers splayed like he’s afraid to let go.

The room smells like sleep and his cologne, and something about it feels right. Not rushed. Not messy.

Just... right.

I stretch slightly, careful not to wake him, but he shifts anyway, tightening his grip.

“Mm,” he mumbles groggily. “You’re not allowed to leave.”

“I was just stretching,” I whisper.

“Good. Stay.”

I smile to myself, heart fluttering.

He shifts again, nose nuzzling into the curve of my neck. “You’re warm.”

“You’re clingy.”

“Mm-hmm.” He kisses my shoulder. “You love it.”

We lay there in silence for a few more moments, the golden morning light creeping through the curtains.

“Did that really happen?” I ask eventually.

He lifts his head slightly to look at me, hair tousled, eyes soft. “Yeah. It did.”

“You’re not freaking out?”

“Are you?”

I think for a second, then shake my head. “No.”

“Good,” he says, dropping a kiss to my temple. “Because I meant everything I said.”

“Even the bit about my singing voice?”

He groans. “Alright, maybe not everything.”

I laugh, rolling over to face him properly. He’s grinning now, cheeky and sleepy and absolutely gorgeous.

“Y’know,” he says, voice still gravelly, “this might sound mad, but I think this...us might be the best decision I’ve made since moving here.”

“Even better than that dodgy burrito place you love?”

He snorts. “Especially that. I think it gave me food poisoning.”

I giggle, then lean forward and kiss him again, soft and slow.

And just like that, the hangover, the confusion, the nerves they all disappear.

Sometimes, the best nights start with tequila and end with confessions.

[the-fallen-aesthetics]

My Drifter's version of Lodun! Will post the rest of the Court + Thrax once I'm done with all of 'em.

Description from the art:

(Middle) Eurie's Notes: > he can breathe FIRE! (he can't control it though) > this guy killed me a LOT, lost count around 823 or smth > doesn't admit he's fond of his Kaithe i brought to him before sh_t went down

(Leftmost note) > i see them (Courtiers) in their Orowyrm forms. There are times I see LODUN crying in anguish.

(Rightmost note) > his brace is part of his arm, can't recall when it happened though

Bonus lore/notes below!

Inherited the red eye color and the scar from Eurie (My art of her). Said scar is caused by a Void Angel so that's fun (not really)

Also, ALL Courtiers + Thrax inherited her fangs (there's a lore for that dw). They also have Void Angel traits somewhere in their bodies.

Also, it's Eurie fault that they can use their respective elements in their humanoid forms.

This version of Lodun inherits Eurie's love for animals (he's only focused on his Kaithe though and baby talks it when no one is looking around)

I decided to make his Orowyrm head very spiky! His form is very hot to touch. Reflects Eurie's guarded (and protective/prickly) personality

Inspired by: temporal-paternal-unit (this post)

[tohruies]

ha! 💌 ! except that i’m doing uno reverse and sending one to you! (and especially since you’ve already written it once for me and i even printed it out!!!)

dear coco, so i know how you always want to bring even the tiniest smile to people’s faces! you are the sunshine that peeks from behind the clouds during the cloudy days ⛅️ but i’m smacking you affectionately because oftentimes in your selfship dynamics you mention that your dear beloveds soothe your heart after you give it away to everyone around on an open palm — and you should listen to that inner voice! ✨ treat yourself first, be a little selfish, make sure to feel comfortable before you comfort others ❤️‍🩹 let me tell you again — i am shaking you and telling you this because a happy and healthy coco guarantees even more happy people around her! 🥺 i love your prose, love your poetry that you sneak so elegantly in between sentences and paragraphs — it’s been a while since i’ve read anything from you and i understand that there are things that you must focus on first, but no matter the passing time, yours will always be one of the styles that inspired me the most in my writing journey on here! 🥹 your presence here has been influencing my life in the most positive way ever since becoming mooties with you! you always put so much thought into remembering everyone’s personalities, lives, preferences and stories! 🌸 but i wanted to make sure that you know how it also feels to be on the receiving side of love (though i know i’m not the only one adoring you so much and certainly there are so many others who would stand right beside you if you only needed a shoulder to lean on) 🩷

༼ﾉ ´༎ຶ ﹏ ༎ຶ༽ ﾉ *: ·ﾟ💌 when manu wears the biggest ever size of meanie pants ever... /silly

(i will acknowledge & respond to your own 💌 to me in the tags, if that's okay!! 🥺 oh my goodness 🥺🥺)

3 days later and i think i have finally collected myself enough to respond to this WAH... I AM SO SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING MANU! 🥺 i am uno reversing your uno reverse >:3 hehe, i remember that i wrote you one of these last year, in april!!!! it's always been a difficult month for me, so it made me really happy + meant the whole world to be able to write something for you and have you receive it with all the love in your heart 🥺 so much so that you even printed it out (i cried tears of joy last year when you told me that AODKJFAJ i am so sorry 🙈). i hope you don't mind that i give last year's message a sibling LOL, with what i am about to say to you now!!!! (⁄ ⁄>⁄ω⁄<⁄ ⁄) 

dearest manu mousie, manu the great, my manumimii!

where do i even begin with youuuu ;w; /pos!!!!! maybe i can start with how much i love (and also fear /lh, because you are truly so... omniscient lol!) how perceptive you are... the way you make people feel seen (exhibit a, the contents of this ask asdfghjkl) and look so deep into their hearts... i think you are incredibly excellent at analysing people and charaters /POS and i feel like this is very evident in your fics and character studies!!!!! it is due in large part to your introspection which is another thing i love about you :D and why i think i find a great deal of comfort in you 🥺 because i am always especially drawn to these kinds of people!! people who you don't need to wear a mask around because they will be able to see through you anyway... it's very soothing in a sense to know that you are like this 🥺💗 and it only inspires me to be more perceptive too!! i hope i can be as caring and kind as manu is some day, heheh (๑•̀ᴗ•́๑)  💗

which brings me to my next point—i love all the ways in which you are quietly kind and looking out for your friends—again, as evidenced by this ask, wah... BUT ALSO!!! in how you do other things for them! 🥺 little blurbs in their mailbox (i revisit that xiangli one you wrote me not so long ago) or even drawings!!! perhaps i don't ship with haitham anymore, but the doodle you gifted me last year has always been a widget on my phone :3 and it will continue to be!!! that was the very first time anyone had ever drawn me something just out of the goodness of their heart, let alone gifted me anything of the sort!!!! 🥺🥺 so it is something i hold really really close. it makes me smile SO BIG!! and kick my feet all excitedly to see you do that for your other friends here too HEHE—when i look at femi's pfp... vana's pinned... i am reminded of just how big and bursting with love that your heart is 🥺💗

i love how much you have grown on here over the past year. ⭐️ in terms of your writing—which has been such a pleasure to witness over time how you've grown into a style that is so distinctly manu!! 🥺🥺 because like! 🥺 i remember so distinctly a certain post you made last year about wanting to improve your writing and your vocabulary and finding your 'own writing voice' 🥺 look at you now!!! with your lush descriptions and rich prose and dynamic characterisation, IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!! AND PROUD!!! and i hope you too, are proud of yourself friend 🥹💖 even aside from your writing, i'm so glad that you have grown more comfortable here in sharing more personal posts about yourself hehe AND OF COURSE YOUR SELFSHIPS!!!!!!!!!! :3 i am also very glad about how you have lots and lots of friends on here now!!! that all love and cherish and uplift and reassure you in the way you deserve to be 🥺

i'm just really happy you are here with us, babie. i hope you won't take it the wrong way when i say this, but i really do believe that you are so much stronger, kinder, and easy to love than you think yourself to be! 🥺🥺 i hope that you can continue to work on being less hard on yourself, and i hope that all your friends here can help with that in any way you'll let us!! i hope you will continue to share more of your heart with us here and let us cradle it and soothe it when you need it. i hope your studies will treat you as kindly as they can, and that you will succeed in them :3 i hope you know that all you need to do is try your best!! you have a beautiful brain and a tender, loving heart—so i am sure in due time that all the good karma will be returned to you 🥺💗 making you a steaming cup of pink chai with a dollop of condensed milk in it, and gently rubbing your hands in mine to warm them up 🥰 we love you so much manu, not just for all that you do for us, but for just simply existing as you are, and letting us bask in the warm light you radiate 💖💖💖

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

I don't feel like people call JJ out for the mistakes he makes as much as they should. People say that everyone was such a bad friend to JJ in S4 but friendship is a two way road. What did you expect them to do? Ignore their lives and only pay attention to JJ? Did you expect them to wrap him up in a blanket, coddle him and act like everything he does is fine because he's got a shitty father? I'm not saying that they were always the best friends but neither was JJ. JJ betting the last of their money and then blaming everyone but himself was a bad friend move. Again friendship is a two way street and you can't expect everyone to be perfect friends if you don't treat them in the same way.

Like I think the way he talked to John B after he found out that John B was gonna be a Dad was truly terrible. JJ knows that John B's fears is that he will become like his father and instead of encouraging John B... he puts him down. And I'm not saying that John B can never be called out but this is different. It would be different if John B was acting like his father and JJ called him out for it. That could be construed as encouragement. JJ is just being a mean drunk in that scene. He finds that his bro is gonna be a Dad and instead of being nice and encouraging he tries to make him feel as bad as he feels. And I'm not saying that John B is always perfect but as John B's lawyer I must defend him. John B does not get enough slack. Had it been John B saying that shit to JJ ya'll would have absolutely crucified him. As is John B is given such a hard time by fans. Chase Stokes is also a really underrated actor. The emotion he is able to put even in the smallest lines or scenes is insanely good. And then he also slays the big dramatic scenes like when Sarah almost dies for instance.

JJ is generally a ride or die friend and I don't believe he would have said those things if he weren't drunk as a skunk. But it bothers me that he would have even thought that because John B is gonna be an exceptional Dad and it makes me sad that JJ may have made him doubt himself for even a second. I feel like JJ can be a mean drunk at times. Pope is like a funny and sweet drunk. For instance that scene in 4x03 where they're all partying and drunk and Pope astutely realizes that John B is insecure and he makes a point of encouraging and telling him that he won't be like his Dad. JJ is very ride or die but Pope is an underrated friend. The way he can be such an emotional rock for his friends. And then also the scene when he finds out that Sarah is pregnant. Pope does point out how ill equipped they are right now (because they're broke and stuff) but he also says it's fine "because they will help them". Now that is an encouraging way to respond.

[laniidae-passerine]

I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!

[acaciapines]

guys what if i told you ive been thinking about dess and actually i think dess/chara might be able to work out in the drkau...like ive been doing some thinking into dess and her reasons and why she does what she does and how she cares about people and im starting to nail down the role i want asriel to play, and. and.

guys i think dess is actually going to be able to change. i think dess figures out how to change but asriel never does....

[sysig]

idontwannabeyouanymore (Patreon)

[defectzim]

TaTr is real and good. <- have a whole story in its head that would NOT fucking happen in canon.

[dravidssideblog]

In Furaffinity's kink writing community I provide two essential services: I show a word count for all my stories, and I write stories with less than 5k words

[july-19th-club]

one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern

[avpdgirlfriend]

i feel bad that i constantly defend my actions idk lke . maybe i really am always the one in the wrong . and i can admit a lot of the things i do are bad and i shouldnt but no one ever gives me grace for anything im always immediately assumed to be acting maliciously and demonized and no one else defends me or considers how i feel so of course i have to defend myself. but i dont know if im just excusing my actions at this point . i dont want to do that

[slanekthe3rd]

The tags are my pookies. Also pookie you can't have CBT you have no balls

“The more psychotherapy an abusive man has participated in, the more impossible I usually find it is to work with him.

 The highly “therapized” abuser tends to be slick, condescending, and manipulative. He uses the psychological concepts

he has learned to dissect his partner’s flaws and dismiss her perceptions of abuse. He takes responsibility for nothing that he does; he moves in a world where there are only unfortunate dynamics, miscommunications, symbolic acts. He expects to be rewarded for his emotional openness, handled gingerly because of his “vulnerability,” colluded with in skirting the damage he has done, and congratulated for his insight.  Many years ago, a violent abuser in my program shared the following with us: “From working in therapy on my issues about anger toward my mother, I realized that when I punched my wife, it wasn’t really her I was hitting. It was my mother!” He sat back, ready for us to express our approval of his self-awareness. My colleague

peered through his glasses at the man, unimpressed by this revelation. “No,” he said, “you were hitting your wife.”

 I have yet to meet an abuser who has made any meaningful and lasting changes in his behavior toward female partners through therapy, regardless of how much “insight”—most of it false—that he may have gained. The fact is that if an abuser finds a particularly skilled therapist and if the therapy is especially successful, when he is finished he will be a happy, well-adjusted abuser—good news for him, perhaps, but not such good news for his partner. Psychotherapy can be very valuable for the issues it is devised to address, but partner abuse is not one of them; an abusive man needs to be in a specialized program.

Therapy focuses on the man’s feelings and gives him empathy and support, no matter how unreasonable the attitudes that are giving rise to those feelings. An abusive man’s therapist usually will not speak to the abused woman, whereas the counselor of a high-quality abuser program always does.

 Therapy typically will not address any of the central causes of abusiveness, including entitlement, coercive control, disrespect, superiority, selfishness, or victim blaming.

 It is also impossible to persuade an abusive man to change by convincing him that he would benefit from it, because he perceives the benefits of controlling his partner as vastly outweighing the losses. This is part of why so many men initially take steps to change their abusive behavior but then return to their old ways. There is another reason why appealing to his self-interest doesn’t work: The abusive man’s belief that his own needs should come ahead of his partner’s is at the core of his problem.

 Therefore when anyone, including therapists, tells an abusive man that he should change because that’s what’s best for him, they are inadvertently feeding his selfish focus on himself: You can’t simultaneously contribute to a problem and solve it.

 Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter that a psychologist wrote about one of my clients, a man who admitted to me that his wife was covered with blood and had broken bones when he was done beating her and that she could have died. The psychologist’s letter ridiculed the system for labeling this man a “batterer,” saying that he was too reasonable and insightful and should not be participating in my abuser program any further.

 The content of the letter indicated to me that the psychologist had neglected to ever ask the client to describe the brutal beating that he had been convicted of.

As a routine part of my assessment of an abusive man, I contacted his private therapist to compare impressions. The therapist turned out to have strong opinions about the case:

THERAPIST:  I think it’s a big mistake for Martin to be attending your abuser program. He has very low self-esteem; he believes anything bad that anyone says about him. If you tell him he’s abusive, that will just tear him down further. His partner slams him with the word abusive all the time, for reasons of her own. His wife’s got huge control issues, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. She needs treatment. I think having Martin in your program just gets her what she wants.

BANCROFT: So you have been doing couples counseling with them?

THERAPIST: No, I see him individually.

BANCROFT: How many times have you met with her?

THERAPIST: She hasn’t been in at all.

BANCROFT: You must have had quite extensive phone contact with her, then.

THERAPIST: No, I haven’t spoken to her.

BANCROFT: You haven’t spoken to her? You have assigned his wife a clinical diagnosis based only on Martin’s descriptions of her?

THERAPIST: Yes, but you need to understand, we’re talking about an unusually insightful man. Martin has told me many details, and he is perceptive and sensitive.

BANCROFT: But he admits to serious psychological abuse of his wife, although he doesn’t call it that. An abusive man is not a reliable source of information about his partner. What the abuser was getting from individual therapy, unfortunately, was an official seal of approval for his denial, and for his view that his wife was mentally ill.”

—“Why does he do that ? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling men”

by Lundy Bancroft

[s0urte3th]

dont resd 🙏

[digi-diareis]

"We need to talk" Prank

with the LaDS love interests, implied that the LI's are already in a relationship w you

Xavier

Oh he's pulling out the puppy dog eyes immediately, lower lip jutting out and ready to start crying.

"I'm sorry." "What? Do you even know what you're apologizing for? Also, why are you apologizing?"

This guy is ready to admit to any and all the faults he's made the past week, from cooking without permission, eating her secret stash of snacks, forgetting to feed the cat on time, etc.

"Please don't break up with me, please please please please-" "Xavi, baby, calm down, I'm not breaking up with you"

Anyways, the prank doesn't even last a minute because you break the moment he pulls out the kicked puppy look and he starts begging for you.

You guys end up cuddling the entire day because he won't stop sulking and being worried that you're tired of him so you can't really leave him alone because this is your fault.

We love a loser like Xavi <3

Rafayel

Dramatic ass man and pranks like these are like perfect tiktok material.

"Oh, you are NOT breaking up with me. I don't give you permission to." "I don't recall breaking up having to need permission from both parties." "Well, now you know."

Anyways, you're both just bickering over stupid shit now. You've strayed from the "we need to talk" to now pointing fingers at who's the bigger drama queen between the two of you.

Zayne

Oh sweet summer child, takes you very seriously.

"What is it, love? Did I do something to upset you?"

Oh, you just know how guilty you'll end up feeling when you keep up with the prank. You last a solid 3 sentences before you slowly turn quiet because he's listening so patiently and looks like he's truly reflecting on everything you've said.

"Okay, I'm sorry it was a stupid prank but I can't stand looking at you this guilty. You've been nothing but an absolute sweetheart, I could never ask for more."

Zayne sighs, relieved that it wasn't actually something major.

"Please, try not to do pranks like these again. I love you but the way my heart dropped when you said those words is not healthy."

You give him a big hug and lots of smooches to make it up to him, vowing never to do pranks like these on him again.

Sylus

Oh, you are looking forward to this. There's a power trip of sorts when you remember how much power you actually hold over this man. And this is perfect.

Some say this might be a red flag of yours but you're dating a wholeass criminal big boss so it's not really that big of a deal.

When you start the prank, he raises an eyebrow. Feeling like it might be a prank since he did spoil you and didn't do anything to piss you off recently.

"And what is it this time, sweetheart?"

Okay ngl, I think this prank goes way too far because he would correct / contradict / defend every single reason and excuse you come up with. That it just becomes a wholeass debate of whether you even have an actual reason to be unsatisfied with your relationship.

At the end of it all, you are breathless and out of excuses. So you just glare at him. Sylus simply smirks knowing he won this 'argument'.

"I'll get you someday, look forward to the day that you're begging for me on your knees." "Oh sweetheart, I'd get on my knees for you anytime, if you just asked."

Caleb

You feel like this might be the worst idea you've ever had, knowing full well how possessive Caleb can get but anything for the gram or whatever the kids say.

"Say that again, buttercup? I think I misheard you."

Oh, the way his voice dropped an entire octave got you both nervous and also maybe turned on?

You try to be strong and push through, repeating what you said.

"Sure, we can talk. Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? Did you find out about the hidden cameras? Is it the new guy at work, did he give you any ideas? I knew I shouldn't have stopped at a few broken ribs-" "CALEB WHAT THE FUCK"

Prank is forgotten, you are now giving him an hour long sermon about hidden cameras and not beating up every man who has any interaction with you.

What you say is definitely passing through the other ear for him, he's just pleased he managed to distract you from the original topic. Its better that you feel responsible for correcting him and being stuck with him rather than you getting sick and tired of him.

Caleb - 1 : You - 0

(i tried my best but i feel like these are very ooc aaaaaaa)