#and a little old man

[jonathanbyersphd]

How can you hate him??? 😭

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[stump-not-found]

A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

---

enough math let's go screw around for 8 more pages

[crowkip]

ᯓ★

[moechies]

oral err butt sniffin’ SRY

toji who would definitely take a long, dragged sniff of your butthole while eating you out from the back :(

i’m sorry i have to indulge in this because he so would ; he is so grimy and so gross, but you’re not gonna do a single thing about it. that’s why he does what he does !

you let him eat that pretty pussy from the back, darling. did you really think he wouldn’t take up the offer? you set yourself up the moment you said ‘yes,’ laying pliantly against the plush bed waiting for him to lazily tug off your panties.

he peels the fabric away from your cunt slowly, watching the strip of slick from your slit dirty your underwear. he can’t help but ask when you scold him to stop staring, stop working so slowly. you just want his hot tongue on you already! but he ignores your needy requests, nudging his body in between your legs to further separate your shy thighs. your cunt drools with arousal, which he obviously takes notice of, dragging a singular finger through the river of slick.

he moves his mouth closer to your cunt, purposefully breathing hot air against the sensitive plush of your skin. freckles of goosebumps become prominent at the sensation, and you wince; you’re such a dear, darling.

and then finally; finally he presses his hot tongue against your soppy cunt, clasping your sweet slit against his tongue. his large hands come up to spread and grope your supple ass, spreading you wide open before further burying himself in your warm.

you squeal when you feel the tip of his nose press into your puckered butthole, and instead of retracting he forces himself deeper.

“t—toji stop it !”

you’re almost repulsed, but you come to a realization of who’s eating your sweet pussy.

he blows off your cries, taking a long whiff of the tart hole above, groaning softly into your cunt.

“s’fucking good. you’re a dear, baby.”

“not there tojiii !” you drag out, words coming out as broken stutters as he simulates both of your sensitive holes.

“it feels good, don’t it ?”

“hnnn…” you gasp against the sheets, resistant to admit to toji that it does, it feels fucking amazing. because you know it’ll become his new addiction, become a bad habit for him to leap onto you just to get a taste of your sweet pussy, and a whiff of your soft butt. but you do anyways, “f—feels good, but—“

you’re quick to stop speaking when he gently nibbles your clit, making you thrash your leg in a shock. “toji !”

“can’t stop,” he groans, and it’s obvious by the way his experienced movements grow sloppy and slow, that he came. “d—damn it.” white nut paints the insides of his cotton boxers, leaking through his sweats, and possibly even damping the sheets.

“s’good. more, more. stay still. f’me.”

[800db-cloud]

i like to imagine spy’s old dark grey suit is actually his company mandated uniform :)

[bluegiragi]

what are you looking at?

nsfw+early art on patreon

[unitedstates0fdakota]

What the fuck do you mean you can ask Kim if u can work on his car with him and depending on how much u geeked out about the car beforehand he has varying levels of enthusiasm about the idea

That last one tho like bro is in love. U charmed him so much with ur car knowledge that he’s actually entertaining the idea of letting u near his car. That’s next level dude

[seoaelfscyne]

I need a dad bf who tells me off for how short my skirt is, but looks up my skirt when he’s tying my shoelaces for me 💕

[xeroxcage]

just realized this

i fucking hate you tobias forge

[forecast0ctopus]

more sweaters

[gigamuffinsofie]

the ghostbusters

[zombie-bait]

"old man yaoi" has become one of my new favourite phrases which is unfortunate because it is inappropriate in roughly 99% of real world scenarios

[gojuo]

[retroautomaton]

🍳🐖🌱

[jedi-starbird]

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.