#and a friend in economics who can explain some stuff to me so that i can plan something out

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

Okay i need to work next year so i can get a credit card that can make online purchases so I can buy journals and studies for biomed

[drdemonprince]

also a good-faith question: what do i tell some of my friends who are terrified of the collapse of the current system for like, survival reasons? like in ways that mutual aid and community support can't really help.

i was trying to explain all this stuff to my friend the other day who is on government support and needs a lot of intensive, expensive medical intervention to live, and she accused me of being willing to sacrifice disabled people for the sake of ideological purity but like, i wasn't saying she doesn't deserve to live, but that she doesn't deserve to live more than palestinians do? and that she also doesn't deserve to specifically live on stolen land. and like, there are palestinians who also could really use those medical treatments that she has the privilege of accessing, why does she deserve them more?

she said she can't afford to not care about the election results because if anything happens to the aca or medicaid, or if anything happens to the medical supply chains, then she's fucked. like, yeah, but same goes for all these people our country is oppressing??

i feel like i just didn't explain this well and i want to give her some other stuff to read.

Great question! I think when people believe that all social care systems will collapse without the government, they are buying into a very colonialist idea that human beings are at their most basic level selfish and irresponsible and won't care for their communities. This is not the case! Thousands of years of human history prove this not to be the case, and so do the behaviors of humans right now during moments of crisis.

Look to the people of Gaza -- they are not leaving their disabled behind. People are sacrificing all that they have to care for their elderly relatives, neighbors, and friends. The only reason that disabled people in Gaza are dying is because the region is being deliberately deprived of resources by Israel. If aid were let in and the Palestinian people were free, they would feed their hungry, treat their sick, supply insulin, teach children, and perform everything that we currently in the US rely upon the government to supply.

Another example of this can be found in how humans respond to natural disasters. Rebecca Solnit's book A Paradise Built in Hell is a beautiful read on this, following numerous real-life disasters across the globe. In every case, people did not riot and pillage or dissolve into violence--- they formed stable encampments, doctors and pharmacists worked their jobs without pay, cooks made food without expecting a wage, everyone pooled their resources and looked after one another.

We also see examples of this when other governments have fallen -- and all governments eventually do! When a nation-state ends, life doesn't end. People keep going to work to make the medicine and put on the leg casts and wash physically disabled people's bodies and make the food. People WANT to feel useful, helpful, included, and looked after, and they will do these things without being forced to by an authoritarian power structure. We see this in the campus encampments and the incredible outpouring of generosity they are experiencing too.

It is quite common for a person to mistakenly believe that the government is all that is keeping our social order working, and that we are all just one moment away from violent chaos and deprivation without it. But that really isn't true. Even without the government, we will still have the *people* who understand how food production and logistics work, the *people* who research and test the drugs, the *people* who watch the children and nurse the elders and fix the roads and butcher chickens.

Without the alienating, exploitative economic structure we currently have, it would actually be EASIER and more efficient for us to take care of one another with these skills, because our time wouldnt be wasted on bullshit jobs that don't contribute to society.

There are lots of great readings about all of this on the Anarchist Library, but I recommend starting with David Graeber's books! Bullshit Jobs, then Debt the first 5000 Years, then Utopia of Rules, then Dawn of Everything. Bullshit Jobs is the easiest read.

[chansbabygirlsstuff]

Just a bet.... Chapter 1

Boring, that's how I describe math class, the teacher shits on us for not remembering the formula for x or whatever she is blabbering about.

let me explain how college works for me, There are always groups of everything and clubs for anything, for example, the soccer majors, you know the leaders there are amazingly fit and all, all the girls there want them for their own, but that's not how it works in here then you have the dance majors  who are incredibly sexy because the way they move is so ugh.....and music majors hot af, science majors they are actually the funniest and smartest of all the uni, theater majors, dramatic af, psychology majors they only read your mind and always so nosy in whatever is going around because they are 'trying to understand whats going on in their heads so they can solve it ', law majors super gossips, and more, you know at the end it's a university and there is lots of stuff to study. 

My name is Y/n and I'm a law major currently in my 2nd year here, but I really don't have friends, just being around so many people is not a good influence all the time but people talk to me sometimes ( when they need something from you)  some girls in my major are amiable and cute so maybe they are not a bad influence.

"Y/n" Yuna screamed my name from across the class making people look at her and then at me, as she walked towards me with her friend group: Tzuyu, Mina, and Lia.

"hey girl you still up for studying in the library?" "Sure" you answered remembering that they invited you to study yesterday for a group project. you stand up and follow them out of the class to change your path to go to your locker, as you put your stuff away you hear loud laughs and teasing between a group of boys passing through the hallways behind you, the sassy, fun, amiable guys at the school, the popular Boys they are pretty chill but of course, they have there bad shit like hookups during the week with different girls and then leaving them heartbroken after

Seugmin is a baseball major he pretty cool ngl, then there is Lee Know a dance major, Felix in computer science major, Han, Chanbing, and Bang Chan are Music majors but they also studying something else Han is in a Scientific major and Chanbing is in Economics Chan is in Business and then there's  I.N who also studies law and Hyunjin who is in soccer major and Accounting.

"Y/nnnnnnn" Hyunjin comes running toward me with a cute smile and a wobbly run and grabs me from my shoulders moving me side to side as I almost lose balance "What do you want Hwang?" I said annoyed because he only talks to me to annoy me or ask me for something, like last time...

Flashback* 

"Y/nnnnnn," he says screaming from the end of the hallway as I turn to him and say, "What Hwang?" I looked dead into his eyes "Oh don't be mean to me you love me" he said dramatically" " I just wanted to borrow 20 bucks please" he begged "For what?" he stayed silent and said "Well I bet Han that he couldn't fit his whole hand in his mouth and he did it but now it's stuck so Lee know is taking to the hospital, but now I owe that dumb fuck 20 bucks and I didn't bring cash with me, so please have mercy with this beautiful soul in front of you"he pouted his lips and gave the puppy eys as he almost kneeled down "fine! you better give them back tomorrow or you dead meat" I warned him as he left smiling and blowing a kiss at me jokingly 

End of Flashback*

"So... I bet I.N to do karaoke night yesterday at his house and I would've done his statistics homework but now I'm too tired to do it and it has Law examples, you and he study that so can I please copy yours for him" he pouted his lips as I sighed and open my locker to give him my notebook "thank you so much I owe you so much girl," he said screaming and running towards his next class as I got to mine.

12:05 pm 

it was lunchtime time so I went out to a cafe to get myself caffeine for the rest of the day and a chicken sandwich "That will be 14.99" the cashier said to me as I opened my wallet to get my card "I'll pay for that" a man next to me swiped his card for my order before I could even say anything "ok perfect please wait on the line and your stuff will be here soon" the girl said with a smile and left.

the man looked at me and smiled "Chan?" I asked confused as to why he was there and why he paid for my order "Hey, what up?" he said casually as he leaned against the table  "Can I get the same please?" he said to the cashier as he paid his stuff, "umm why did you pay for my things? I was going to do it" I told him while he smiled and told me "You Hyujins friend right? Y/n?"

I looked at him suspiciously and said "Yes and no I'm not giving homework for free" "Technically is not free, I just paid for your meal, but I'm not here for any favours no worries" He said as we took a seat in one of the tables, I ate my food feeling weird cause wtf do he want now? " so is there anything you need?" I said and he looked taken back at my comment that yeah... it was kinda rude.

"no nothing I just saw you were a good friend of Hyunjin's and you seem like a fun friend to have around, so I wanted to be friends with you too," he says smiling at me as I looked confused at him "Plus you're cute," he says with a little smirk appearing in his face "No seriously what do you need?" I said a bit annoyed by his comment and he just chuckled "Nothing relax I just want to be friends, as I said you look like a fun girl" he said as we continued eating, and then before I was finished someone entered the cafe "Chan my man" they fist bombed as the other male sits " hi in Han, your Hyujins friend right?" "OK, what does Hyunjin need now? cause this is weird"

"what do you mean? can we just talk to you?" Han said as he looked offended by my feistiness, I put my head down in shame but you can't trust these guys, they are always up to no good, as I tried to finish my food and just replied to their questions and small talk I got up and picked my stuff "ok I need to go, class is going to start soon, it was nice meeting you all" "let me take you to class" Chan said as he got up to accompany me but I stopped him before anything else "oh you don't have to don't worry I have to go to the library to study anyways" "I was heading there, lets study together" he said keeping up with me as I walked " I have a project with the girls so you will be stuck listening to us, so if your planning to pay attention to what your studying then I recommend to study in another table, they can be loud sometimes" " no worries I would like to learn what you know" he smiles as he follows me, why is he acting as he knew me since forever? doesn't he know that he looks like a creep who is about to kidnap a 23 female or what?.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Analysis: Ron Stoppable is the Epitome of Secret Badass

Ron Stoppable, The buffoon, the sidekick, the loser, the guy with a naked mole rat.

Suffice to say, Ron at first impression is just a weird teen. And for those that have made that assumption, you are right. Ron is weird. He follows the beat of his own drum. Yes he can get swayed by fads, yes he is afraid of monkeys and yes he is often losing his pants more times than a person should.

But today I will be talking to you about why this guy is not only a secret badass but the best example of one.

_________________________________________________

To be a Secret Badass.

Now there is a trope called Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass, this trope often involves an unassuming character (usually seen as a joke or weakling) and then revealing that they are actually super powerful, competent in some way shape or form.

Now I actually dont think this works for Ron because, with this trope, the individual KNOWS what they are doing is a front. That unassuming action is mainly something they put out there while the true self is the competent individual who is either Super smart, super strong, or super skilled.

But here is the thing, Ron isnt putting up a front, this is his personality. He is a bit of a slacker, doesnt follow trends, is obsessed with cartoons, goes trick or treating, gets caught up in kid stuff, everything Ron does is because he is Ron.

But thats why I think he counts as a Secret Badass, because Ron isnt Hiding the fact that he is a badass, he has NO IDEA HE IS ONE. He just performs the actions by accident or instinct without it really having it sink in.

Now to go further into what I mean. Ron thinks he is an untalented slacker idiot, a coward that struggles with girls, and a guy that cant fight or be the cool athlete.

But in truth Ron is actually a genius, athletic, smooth fighting badass.

Yes, I am being 100% serious. Ron is all of those things

Please bare with me. I can explain

______________________________________________________________

Ron the Genius

Now throughout the show Ron doesnt really make much of an effort to do his homework. usually settling for a passing grade. While Kim, his best friend and the star of the show is constantly getting A's and showing her intelligence on the regular. At first glance it is very hard to see oneself think that Ron is smart, ESPECIALLY compared to the intellect of others in the show, Like Wade, Tim and Jim,Dr.Possible (Both her parents), the super scientists they have helped or fought. But Ron is actually pretty smart.

Ron's intellect shines when he takes an interest in something. Like cooking, able to easily ace Home Economics, create the Naco (Ron received a $99 million royalty payment on the further sales of the Naco up to that point in time "Ron Millionaire" ) A testament to his cooking genius. Figure out Niche connections that Kim had overlooked.

Ron's most impressive intellectual feet was actually when he was pretending to be a genius (Naked Genius). Rufus had snuck into Drakken's brain gain helmet and became super smart. So Ron had Rufus do his home work, and the result was having people shocked by how brilliant he is. Resulting in Shego and Drakken kidnapping him to make a doomsday device. Which he actually manages to create!

And after that, he was able to complete his math homework with ease, even earning an A on the next assignment.

But for those of you who think thats a fluke. Allow me to introduce, evil ron

After getting his good swapped with Drakken's evil due to a faulty invention gone wrong at Villain con (Episode Badboy). Ron becomes a super villain. Able to create SEVERAL evil weapons of destruction. Creating schemes to COUNTER Kim's approaching his Lair and even stall Kim for long periods of time to prepare for his True evil plan. He created a plasma catapult, a weather generator, and several gadgets that helped him keep Shego in line. (He was so smart and evil he MADE SHEGO INTIMIDATED).

Ron is often inhibited by his self doubt and laziness. Often feeling that the world around him is so vast that it is not worth the effort to try, but when push comes to shove, Ron is smart enough to rival intellects that surround him. He just needs to have a bit more confidence.

_____________________________________________________________

Ron the Athlete

Ron is typically portrayed as clumsy and lacking in bravery. He tends to "trip over his own feet" in most episodes, often in comical or socially embarrassing ways, and during missions it is common for him to comically fail to do something that Kim has done flawlessly—for example, he might ski backward down a mountain and collide with a tree just after Kim has successfully navigated the slope. He also loses his pants often on missions.

But in truth, we as the viewer fail to realize how impressive Ron is. Sure he will accidentally do some insane feat in extreme sports but its seen as a fluke. But we dont actually understand how athletic Ron is until the movie "A Sitch in Time". Where Ron is half way around the world and has trouble meeting Kim for Missions. So Kim's solution, have Monique help her out. And Monique is a pretty typical teen, seems decently in shape, and strong willed. It would make sense that she could be a possible replacement.

WELL THAT IMMEDIATELY BACK FIRES. Its revealed that Monique is WAY OUT of her depth, she comments that maybe after 10 years of training would she be ready to take on another mission like this. Which really puts into perspective how impressive it is that Ron is able to keep up with Kim in most situations. Ignoring the comedic relief.

But another clear example of his athleticism is his ability to run. While initially using a super suit to make the football team and become the QB, (in season 4). Ron eventually lost the suit and had to play the game with his own skill, and he won the game by Running so much he out ran everyone on the opposite team to the point of exhaustion and scored a touch down. Becoming the team’s Running back instead. While played for laughs as this was because he is so used to running for his life, it is still should be noted that he ran fast, and dealt with very athletic individuals.

He also is shown to have incredible reflexes, avoiding traps and danger through dance and rather amazing feats of physical prowess. (And this is without mystical monkey power)

There is more to it but Ron is a surprisingly good athlete, and probably one of the few people that could keep up with Kim. Making him such a reliable side kick.

______________________________________________________________

Ron the Smooth Player

SMOOTH RON STOPPABLE

But in all seriousness, Ron's luck with girls is actually not that bad. He had girls take interest in him through out the series. His first crush being Amelia (an attractive upper classman that developed a thing for him when he got a new haircut “The New Ron”. And flirted with her with some success in "Ron Millionaire"

Then there was Tara, a Cheerleader that showed Ron interest for sometime. Such as in "Sink or Swim" when the cheersquad was trapped in Camp Wanaweep

Even using terms he used at times. like "Badical"

Though Ron never did catch on that She was into him and she ended up dating Josh who was Kim's former lover interest.

Next there was Zita Flores

The ticket girl at the theater Kim and Ron often went to. And was Ron's love interest for most of season 2. Ron managed to win her over and even dated her for a bit, tried to impress her by playing a game that she and her friends played. But unfortunately it sort of fizzled because they both didnt really agree on what was considered a date.

And next up we have Yori

(I had a crush on Yori as a kid, so I am including her image solely for that)

Meeting Ron when he was part of the student exchange program, for the Yamanouchi Ninja School. n the episode "Exchange", Ron shows repeated interest in Yori. He was having trouble fitting in yet she was kind and helped him out every step of the way. Ron proves himself when he helps save the school and Yori believes in his abilities. Though Ron like with other girls failed to see that Yori "Liked him liked him" until their second meeting.

Though the third time they met Ron and Kim were and Item and Yori was cool with it. Which is nice to see they are gone good terms

Bonnie was on the list but it wasnt because of liking Ron it was more about liking either his Money (Ron Millionaire) or His popularity in "Homecoming Upset"

But interestingly most of these relationships, Ron is not trying to be someone he isnt (except Bonnie). And he is winning these girls over. Showing he has some sort of charisma. But for main proof, lets look at the main Relationship we are here for, his one with Kim.

This right here is proof that the boy has some sort of charm. Sure they had been friends for years and it had been slowly building up to the point when they FINALLY admit it. Sure the guy that Kim Fell for in So the Drama was basically just a calmer and more Confident version of Ron but actually an evil robot.

But the beauty is the relationship itself. Ron goes to such lengths to show Kim how much he cares and is willing to do anything for her. Fearing she would dump him because its senior year and Cheerleaders only date jocks/Popular stars. Boy joins the football team. Kim wants to go on more romantic dates, boy gets a job to pay for it. Ron also shows to be encouraging and while a bit of a worrywart is great for Kim.

So in conclusion Ron can be smooth... in his nerdy true to himself way

____________________________________________________________

Ron the Fighter

So did I mention he has mystical monkey power?

During the Season 1 episode "Monkey Fist Strikes", Ron was exposed to ancient magical energy from four jade monkey statues which imbued him with "Mystical Monkey Powers", including an instinctive knowledge of the martial art of "Tai Sheng Pek Kwar" (大圣劈挂, translates to "The big saint divides hangs") as well as superhuman speed and strength. Though after the episode its believed to have been lost.

Until the Episode "Exchange" in which has him at the Ninja school. He gets some training. Allowing him to learn how to fight better. Even letting him tap into the martial art he thought he lost access to. He was able to wield the Lotus Blade and Beat Fukushima (a talented student and traitor of the school)

Ron may not always fight in the show but when he does, he unveils his true ability. One example is during the Movie a sitch in time. When he found out Shego had basically ruined Bueno Nacho and seperated Kim and Him by sending him to norway. In his rage he flipped an incredibly buff and genetically enhanced Drakken with one move and destroyed the Time monkey, thus saving the world.

Ron also showed that when turned evil he is actually a very vicious fighter (his reluctance and more timid nature removed) he easily bested well over 30 super hero clones in seconds, and was agile enough to out match a super strong Hego.

Ron in the finale "Graduation" shows his greatest feats of fighting, besting the super strong alien invaders (see picture above), then proceeding to go super saiyan blue.

And he threw the two aliens into orbit into their crashing space ship presumably ending them. (I am not kidding its right here)

Ron is an absolute fighting badass, only held back by his self esteem. But at this point, I think he really is unstoppable

___________________________________________________________

Ron the Secret Badass

All that aside, sure there is the monkey kung fu, the bouts of brilliance or even the impressive game. Ron was basically a normal guy flung into a world of crazy super powerful people and because he wanted to keep close to his best friend managed to climb insurmountable odds and become someone spectacular.

Ron may not think much of his abilities but he really is Unstoppable

[balkanradfem]

I know that's a really dumb question, but what exactly is female separatism? Is it like building a country just for women, or just avoiding men in general? A clear definition of female separatism would help me understand better a lot of stuff here on radblr

Sorry for my -100 IQ :')

It's not a dumb question at all! And the answer isn't simple, it's actually in many layers, and I'll try my best to explain each one.

Separatism can be described as a desire, intention, and direct action to depend, communicate, interact and bond with males as little as possible, or not at all. For a lot of us, this simply isn't possible, especially not immediately. Lots of women have male family members, friends, children, spouses, relatives, who they cannot just abandon for the political goal, and that's perfectly fine, because we can practice separatism only as much as it is practical, nobody should have to do extreme things that damage their social standing, just for the sake of politics.

So in this situation, separatism would just be to depend on the m*n in your life as little as possible. To have your own income, your own living space, to prioritize interactions with women, to not financially depend on m*n, to work with women, to choose female doctors, cashiers, service workers, mechanics, roommates. This also includes avoiding male-made writings and media, and as much as it's practical, consuming female-made entertainment and education. This is done with the goal of being safer from violence, to form a strong female community and class-consciousness, to be somewhat protected from the brainwashing effects of the male perspective, and to have more free space in your social life to express what you think, how you feel, and what would benefit you, without m*n talking down to you and explaining to you why you're dumb and have to do things the way they think is right. I mean, I'm sure you'll run into this issue with women who parade the male perspective as well, it's not a 100% sure fix every time, but being in a female-company often enough will enforce our class consciousness, even if we don't feel it happening. It will also point out to us just how labour-intensive and draining it is to be in male company, and how unsafe, shut down, and objectified we are in their presence.

Being financially independent and having a strong support system of women would function as a great protection from being trapped in domestic violence and isolated abuse situations, which are very prevalent in the current society and within the heterosexual marriage institution. So this helps us keep safer, together.

Now a stronger layer of separatism would be to go a step further, and start building female-only spaces, and female-only businesses. This also, is something that can be done when possible and practical, and it means female-only gyms, female only bath-houses, buses, trains, grocery stores, companies. This still works under the current system of capitalism, but having a business or a company with only women leading and using it, creates a safer space, with less exploitation, less danger from abuse or harassment, and more benefit to women. There are currently many spaces, organizations, businesses and political powers, that are male only, and they disproportionately benefit m*n. They might employ women, but only to keep them doing the most difficult ground work, and to be underpaid and used as entertainment and a service; they do not benefit women in almost any way, and globally, we're at a great disadvantage economically and politically without owning and benefiting from at least half of businesses existing. Having more female-owned spaces and businesses would tilt the power in our favour, and grant us more political and economical power as well. This is also why all such businesses and spaces are heavily opposed by the males, and are seen as a threat (though they present it as emotionally wounding, they're fighting against a political threat).

For some women, who have been thru extensive abuse and sexual violence by the hands of m*n, this isn't enough, and for us, just being in presence of m*n is draining and difficult, and being aware that we're a part of a system that brought us into this state, and is now trying to depict us as insane and hysterical, feels awful for us. So we want to go another step further, and create spaces where we could live our entire lives without having to interact with m*n. This is completely by our own will, and for our own fulfillment. A few of these spaces already exist, though not on a very large scale.

There's a village in Kenya, named Umoja, where m*n are not allowed to live, though they're allowed to visit, they can never sleep over. The women there work together and create jewelry and ornaments to support themselves and keep themselves independent, so they would not have to suffer thru forced and abusive marriages or sexual violence. I know of another separatist space with lesbians who own several houses on the beach, and they work electronically, so they're safe economically, and can keep the entire area male-free, because it's their private property. I also know of a few separatist spaces where women have taken refuge in nature and organized a way of life that is self-sustainable, they've been regenerating the nature and creating livable spaces in forests and mountains, accepting only other women to live there.

I'm sure there are plenty more, I haven't looked it up in a while, and I believe some are doing this a bit more secretly and aren't interested in being broadcasted online, because this puts them in danger. Being a living proof that women can survive, and happily so, without m*n, creates a hole in their forced perspective. They have convinced us they're somehow necessary, as if we couldn't possibly do without them, and absolutely have to accept the drawbacks of living among them (domestic violence, sexual violence, loss of last names and matrilinear identity, living within an exploitative system, tolerating terrorism, wars, celebrations of violence, damage to the environment, loss of human rights for certain groups, constant danger, constant harassment, objectification, pay gap, loss of independence, pedophilia-dominated entertainment, women being tortured for fun, abuse of female children, homophobia, human trafficking, pornography, life of servitude, life of vigilance, low social value and self-objectification). Once women have established that on their own, they can build stronger community, resolve all big social issues by the mutually benefiting each other, sharing resources and relying on each other for support and survival, it will start looking transparent that we don't exactly need to keep sustaining the male-led world, and that we only do it because they're keeping us in constant fear of violence and retribution if we attempt to defy their rule.

Currently all that is practical for most to do is to avoid and live as independent from m*n as possible, and that in itself is a strong force of separatism, that will benefit women in every way it can. I'm the most extreme kind, who has already lost all her bonds to any male in her life, and I want to go and build a separatist community out in the wild. These communities can function in any way the women inside them decide; for instance, I know there are women longing for childless communities, some women would want to have lesbian-only, or women-attracted only communities, some would like for these communities to be inside of cities, and that's possible too! A woman can obtain enough buildings and space to create an area where only women live, where they have their own grocery stores, gyms, libraries, workplaces, communal spaces, and since it's their own property, they can make the rules and decide whether m*n are allowed to walk in their spaces or not.

The all-female cities or countries are a dream that would only work if we really had limitless resources, and if big majority of women were wanting it. Currently this is not possible or practical, since very few women are in favour of female-only spaces. A lot of backlash to separatism comes just from the idea of these idealistic, utopian cities and countries, because there's fear of women not being able to see m*n anymore, or form relationships or be romantically or sexually fulfilled by m*n. While any of this is already difficult to achieve in male-dominated spaces, it would still be fully possible in separatism, because anyone can leave separatist space at any time, and be in presence of any m*n they want to. Separatist spaces will never force women in, or keep them from getting out, and it will never be hard to simply go out in the male-dominated world again, and do whatever they need to do with m*n.

I actually like the theory presented in the 'Who cooked the last supper' book, where she describes women who lived as the heads of villages, marriage didn't exist, and they simply took to bed any m*n they wanted to, and bore children when they wanted to, which would then be tended to by them and other women in the village. This seems like a very reasonable way for a woman to not have to depend on a m*n to provide, and she has all the support and care she needs after undergoing something as traumatic as pregnancy. Male children were raised, but chased out of villages as they turned adult, and were told to fend for themselves, because they simply weren't useful in the village, because women understood m*n had a greater like for violence and physical assault than women were ready to tolerate in their midst.

I wouldn't want male children to be free to abuse female children, so I'm against keeping them in separatist spaces, and it's something that still needs to be worked around, because it potentially limits the life of separatism to women with male children, so there might be necessary spaces exclusively for women with male children, who still need to be safe from violent husbands, fathers, relatives, bosses, traffickers, and whoever else would wish harm on them and their children. Completely separatist spaces are imagined as safe havens from women who are in danger of abuse, or are running from abuse and seeking refuge. It's also a space imagined to be free of homophobia and safe for lesbians and bisexual women, who would be able to express their attraction freely, without fearing repercussions or violence for the nature of their healthy and normal sexuality.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that separatist life would be ideal, there’s a lot that would have to be figured out, since women too can be mentally unhealthy, abusive, emotionally unwell and in need of more support than others can easily provide, but statistically, overall danger of assault, rape, objectified harassment, terrorism, murder, torture, war, and other life threats, would go down by more than 90%. A lot of us would feel safer in this environment, even with the potential threat of women not responding perfectly, and we would in any case, have the authority to decide what measures are to be taken, and how to minimize and reduce any additional abuse of power. This is not something the current system discourages or reduces.

Separatism is a very broad topic and a lot of the details still need to be discussed! Really only thing the separatist spaces have in common is that they center women, women's safety, survival, women's interests, desires, accommodations. They are systems built to benefit and serve women above all, and everything else is something to be discussed and decided by the group who is building and creating it. Separatism can be 3 lesbians on a farm, it can be 20 women living in a forest or a beach, they decide themselves who they let in, and how life is led in there. Freedom and safety of women are the pillars of separatism, and it's existence can benefit women currently in danger, need of survival resources, and in need of community. It's only controversial because in the current society, there isn't even one system that benefits primarily women at all.

[invisibleraven]

Imagine your OTP where Persons A + B always fight with each other, but they have a common friend and they both plan a surprise party for Person C’s birthday. + if they find out about the other party and try to sabotage them ++ if they have to cooperate eventually

- Luke and Carrie for Julie? It could be platonic/romantic/whatever

“So Ju Ju, what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Carrie asked over lunch one day.

Julie shrugged as she munched on an apple slice-swatting Luke’s hand away when he tried to steal one. “Wasn’t really planning on much, it’s not like it’s a big one.”

“It’s still your birthday boss,” Luke interjected. “Maybe we want to celebrate you.”

“I’m really fine not doing anything,” Julie insisted. “Subject closed. Now, did either of you make any progress in our Economics project?”

“I got the bibliography started,” Luke said sheepishly. “Then I got distracted…”

“By a song right?” Carrie scoffed. “Honestly Patterson, you need to get your head out of your songbook and crack a text book for once.”

“Hey I’m passing everything!”

“Oh yes, stellar academic achievement there,” Carrie snarked.

Luke was about to argue back when Julie started rubbing her temples. “Can you two not argue for once? Please? For me?”

The two of them grumbled but agreed, remaining as civil as they could for the rest of the lunch period, then heading off to their classes.

But both Luke and Carrie kept coming back to Julie’s lack of plans for her birthday. And came to the same, separate conclusion.

“I’m going to throw her a surprise party!”

Carrie went all in, finding caterers who would accommodate Julie’s love of Puerto Rican food, her own veganism, and the various allergies and restrictions of the rest of their friend group.

Luke figured that food was easy-just ask everyone to bring something. He’d tap in Tia Victoria for some of Julie’s favourites, but otherwise a potluck seemed the way to go.

Carrie decided a DJ was the best choice for music-even though everyone she knew was musically inclined, she wanted them to enjoy the party instead of performing through it.

Luke lived and breathed music, so he knew he and the guys could handle the music for the party. Plus maybe get a karaoke machine so everyone could just go to town on whatever song they wanted? Plus it would give him a chance to debut the new song he wrote just for Julie.

“Reggie!” Carrie flounced over to him, handing him the embossed invitations she had made. “I have a job for you.”

“Sure thing Care Bear, what can I do for my favourite Candi?” he replied with that easy going smile of his. She explained how she wanted him to bring Julie to the party, but not let her show up too early.

“I mean I can, but I kinda already agreed to do that for Luke for his party,” Reggie said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You two might need to coordinate.”

Carrie wasn’t sure if her shriek was internal or not, but she was sure the look on her face conveyed it well enough. Thoughts flooded her mind about sabotage, but no, she was above that.

However she didn’t think Luke would be-so she swallowed her pride and marched up to him. “You need to cancel your party for Julie.”

“I need to do no such thing,” Luke replied, crossing his (stupidly impressive) arms.

Carrie hugged a little, resisting the urge to stomp her foot like she did with her dad as a child. “Look I’m sure you planned some basic soirée, but I have put time and effort into planning an excellent party for Julie. A superior party. So obviously mine should be the one that goes ahead.”

“Basic?” Luke fumed. “Sure it’s not fancy like whatever stuffy affair you have planned, but it’s full of stuff I know Julie will enjoy! Plus as her boyfriend, I take precedence!”

“So somehow that outranks me as her girlfriend?” Carrie asked, eyes slotted as she stared him down.

He shrank at that. Julie had told him that she cared for them both, and they agreed (albeit grudgingly) to share. Because she had told him they were equal and if they didn’t like it, she would be done with them both.

“Fine, maybe we can do both?” Luke suggested. “Or smush them together?”

“Fine,” Carrie replied with an eye roll. “My place after school. We’re going to have to work together.”

“Believe me I’m dreading it as much as you are,” Luke grumped.

In the end they managed to reach a compromise-Luke kept the potluck and the karaoke, Carrie kept the venue and DJ, plus the fancy cake she had ordered because even Luke admitted that beat his idea to bake it himself.

Julie was thrilled with the party-praising them both for organizing it, and for working together to make it so special, even after she insisted that she didn’t need a big celebration for her birthday.

She just kept it to herself that she hated surprise parties.

[hello-nichya-here]

Genuine question: If the ppl of Brazil are anti-communism, why are they in BRICS with Russia and China, two communist countries?

1 - My God, this question single-handedly took back me back to my school years. Answering this lowkey makes me feel like I'm taking a test XD

2 - Russia has not been communist for over 30 years. Ya know. The USSR ended in 1991? It was kind of a big deal?

3 - China's government is a VERY weird combo of the worst of communism with the worst of capitalism. Obviously a lot about how the country works is a direct result of communism, but they have zero problem playing the capitalist game, and as a result EVERYONE has some kind of economical relation with China - they sell stuff the cheapest (thanks to slavery) and have literal billions of people foreigners can sell their stuff to. If selling/buying stuff with them made anyone communist, the whole world might as well be communist already.

4 - BRICS is not like the EU, or the USSR, or NATO. Brazil's opinions on anything that goes on with our "friends" doesn't matter because the point of it is not for us, Russia, India, China and South Africa to collectively decide anything about each other's politics (border control, currency, economic system, alliances in wartime, etc). It's literally just a group of nations that are struggling to remain/become relevant to the rest the world, while also trying not to go officially broke, that looked at each other and went "If you're about to crash and burn I'll try to help you out if I can, and then you do the same for me. Deal?" It's the possibility economic back up in case of crisis. The one thing we have to decide together is "Who gets to join this group of countries that are desperately trying to not implode?"

5 - Most brazilians are not really anti-communism because most brazilians don't fucking KNOW what communism is. A few might have heard names like Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Vladmir Putin, Mao or Fidel Castro, but they don't know shit about them. Lots of us know BRICS exists, but a ton cannot explain what it is. If you ask most brazilians to point to either China or Russia on a map, I'd say over half wouldn't be able to do it. And if you ask us to point to our own country on a map, a shockingly large number of people here will STILL not be able to do it because our educational system is that fucking bad.

You'll find LOTS of people, especially older generations, that think they understand what communism is, but in reality they were just fed the pro-USA propaganda those motherfuckers were spreading through all of latin america during the cold war by literally backing up dictatorships. And me acknowledging that fact and not calling the coup of 1964 "the revolution that was totally necessary and wanted by everybody and totally didn't lead to all kinds of violations of people's basic human rights" would already make half of my relatives yell at me to go to Cuba or Venezuela so I'll "stop" being a communist - because yes, saying "Dictatorship bad" is enough for them to label people communists.

Our president through 2019-2022, Jair Bolsonaro (I still HATE that dude's gut in case anyone is wondering) literally brought all of that old propaganda back to make people scared of the "communist threat inside Brazil" so he would get elected, and then tried to use that again to stage a coup after he lost to Lula in 2022.

Brazil is not "anti-communist." Brazil is a country filled with people that were never taught some pretty basic stuff about the world, and are thus easily manipulated by any politician.

[identitty-dickruption]

hi !! if you’d be happy to talk abt your polisci course in any detail i’d love to hear about it :) - year 12 picking her undergrad applications and having nooo idea what polisci is actually like

hi! that’s such an exciting and scary time! I remember making pages and pages of pros and cons lists over the course of year 12…. what a time. I wish you all the best with your final semester and with figuring out what you’re going to apply for!

choosing to study a bachelor of political science is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. it is literally so right for me. I have a friend who hates it, but she’s doing a politics/law double degree so. don’t do that

so! different political science degrees are going to work in different ways, and universities are going to have different options in terms of classes and topics. but! I will take you through the way my degree has worked, and all the good and bad parts of it and hopefully that’s helpful

the good bits!

ideas in politics: this is a compulsory political philosophy class I had to take in second year. SO GOOD. it was basically the history of different ideologies, and why people think and act in the ways they do in the political sphere

bureaucracy, politics, and power: optional class I took in second year. very good. basically explained how politicians manipulate the public service, and how it’s changed over time

democracy and dictatorship: another second year class lmao. got taught all about how democracies die, and why some democracies outlive others

political belief and deceit: another political philosophy course, but this one is about why lies are important to politics and the ways people manipulate the truth

Australian political institutions: a class I’m taking at the moment! it’s so cool. basically taking us through all the different parts of Australia’s institutions and how they get manipulated (e.g. the high court, the parliament, the electoral system, etc)

basically!! it’s such a broad range of things. any part of politics can be examined through a scientific lens, and that’s what political science is. it’s fascinating because it makes so many things make sense about political behaviour. there’s something for everyone in there… international relations, game theory, institutions, sociology��� it’s all there!

the bad bits

literally all of the methodology courses can go die in a hole. hate it. literally had to take a class called “reading and writing”. I know how to read. so silly

this is all of uni, but if you’re doing just the one degree, the entire faculty tends to schedule assignments for the same week as each other and it’s Stressful

sorry for the big rant but like. I LOVE my degree. it’s a good mix of philosophy, politics, and science. enough economics that I know some stuff but not so much that I want to die. it’s good!! I HIGHLY recommend

further questions welcome! the more specific the better :)

[ilkajanka]

10 Brain Health and Fitness New Year's Resolutions: Train Your Brain

Let me suggest 10 New Year's Resolutions that will help you make 2024 a year of visit site here Brain Health and Fitness, based on three key guidelines for brain health: the need for novelty, variety and challenge.

You have survived the 2023 shopping and eating season. Congratulations! Now it's time to shift gears and focus on 2024…whether you write down some New Year resolutions or contemplate some things that you want to let go of from last year and set intentions and goals for this year - as is a friend's tradition on the winter solstice.

To summarize the key findings of the last 20 years of neuroscience research on how to "exercise our brains", there are three things that we can strive for: novelty, variety and challenge. If we do these three things, we will build new connections in our brains, be mindful and pay attention to our environment, improve cognitive abilities such as pattern-recognition, and in general contribute to our lifelong brain health.

With these three principles of brain health in mind - novelty, variety and challenge - let me suggest a few potential New Years resolutions, perhaps some unexpected, that will help you make 2024 a year of Brain Health and Fitness:

2024 Primaries and Elections: If you haven't yet done so, register to vote - active participation is good for your brain health. But, before rushing out to vote, take some time to think through the criteria you want to set up to evaluate who deserves your vote. Don't let politicians and their spin doctors set your agenda. Ask yourself, what matters most to me? What type of President do I think we need? Why? I personally find it quite intriguing that no candidate so far is resurrecting the "It is the economy, stupid" mantra, and proposing solid plans to get our economy back on track.

Next time out shopping: Don't let advertisers treat you as if you were Pavlov's Dog - remember the dog that was trained to salivate automatically every time a bell rang. There is a whole industry out there trying to make you buy stuff on impulse. Notice your reactions to a movie trailer or a TV ad Resist. Be the true "Decider". For bonus points, once you learn to identify and manage your own buying impulses, try explaining this to your kids…

Reading habits: If you usually read non-fiction, try something new this season. Pick up a good fiction book. Or vice versa. For bonus points, subscribe to or simply read a new magazine, perhaps one that your partner craves? It will help you understand another perspective.

Learn about the Brain: Pick up one of the books in the Science section in your bookstore. In the unlikely scenario that you read as many brain-related books as I do, pick up some Russian poetry book and let's discuss this instead.

At work: Find, or create, an intellectually and socially stimulating new job for yourself at your current workplace or a new one. Engaging work has been shown to contribute to lifelong cognitive performance. At the very least, go out of your way to make whatever job you have more stimulating: try talking to a new colleague or client everyday and learn a new thing about them. You will not remember everything, but surely more than if you don't even try.

Gratitude vs. the Subprime mess: With increasing coverage of economic woes, the subprime mess, recession risk, the falling dollar and a ballooning deficit, it is easy to lose perspective and become depressed. Which doesn't help anyone, much less our brains. To put things in perspective, it pays off to devote some time to keep a Gratitude Journal and simply scribble a few notes a day. For bonus points: do this while you are watching TV news and share your notes with your partner.

Cultivate your Critical-thinking abilities: Ask yourself, "Where is the evidence?" at least once a day - see points 1&2 above. Don't just believe this article. Even if it had been endorsed by 20 Harvard Medical School researchers and doctors, nothing substitutes your own brain in action. And the more you practice, the more you refine your judgment.

Participate in creating a better environment. Our planet, our families, our communities, our schools, all can benefit from our help. What project do you care enough to commit some of your time to in 2024? If you have school age kids, have you considered joining the school board?.

Computer-based programs: With the growing number of "brain training" products, you may be thinking of giving one a try, either for you or for a loved one. As mentioned in point number 2 above, it makes sense to do some research before making a purchase.

Where to start? OK, now you have read many suggestions, resolve to keep at least one of them…which one will you choose?.

[agilepanda]

10 Brain Health and Fitness New Year's Resolutions: Train Your Brain

Let me suggest 10 New Year's Resolutions that will help you make 2008 a year of Brain Health and Fitness, based on three key guidelines for brain health: the need for find out more here novelty, variety and challenge.

You have survived the 2007 shopping and eating season. Congratulations! Now it's time to shift gears and focus on 2008...whether you write down some New Year resolutions or contemplate some things that you want to let go of from last year and set intentions and goals for this year - as is a friend's tradition on the winter solstice.

To summarize the key findings of the last 20 years of neuroscience research on how to "exercise our brains", there are three things that we can strive for: novelty, variety and challenge. If we do these three things, we will build new connections in our brains, be mindful and pay attention to our environment, improve cognitive abilities such as pattern-recognition, and in general contribute to our lifelong brain health.

With these three principles of brain health in mind - novelty, variety and challenge - let me suggest a few potential New Years resolutions, perhaps some unexpected, that will help you make 2008 a year of Brain Health and Fitness:

1. 2008 Primaries and Elections: If you haven't yet done so, register to vote - active participation is good for your brain health. But, before rushing out to vote, take some time to think through the criteria you want to set up to evaluate who deserves your vote. Don't let politicians and their spin doctors set your agenda. Ask yourself, what matters most to me? What type of President do I think we need? Why? I personally find it quite intriguing that no candidate so far is resurrecting the "It is the economy, stupid" mantra, and proposing solid plans to get our economy back on track.

2. Next time out shopping: Don't let advertisers treat you as if you were Pavlov's Dog - remember the dog that was trained to salivate automatically every time a bell rang. There is a whole industry out there trying to make you buy stuff on impulse. Notice your reactions to a movie trailer or a TV ad Resist. Be the true "Decider". For bonus points, once you learn to identify and manage your own buying impulses, try explaining this to your kids...

3. Reading habits: If you usually read non-fiction, try something new this season. Pick up a good fiction book. Or vice versa. For bonus points, subscribe to or simply read a new magazine, perhaps one that your partner craves? It will help you understand another perspective.

4. Learn about the Brain: Pick up one of the books in the Science section in your bookstore. In the unlikely scenario that you read as many brain-related books as I do, pick up some Russian poetry book and let's discuss this instead.

5. At work: Find, or create, an intellectually and socially stimulating new job for yourself at your current workplace or a new one. Engaging work has been shown to contribute to lifelong cognitive performance. At the very least, go out of your way to make whatever job you have more stimulating: try talking to a new colleague or client everyday and learn a new thing about them. You will not remember everything, but surely more than if you don't even try.

6. Gratitude vs. the Subprime mess: With increasing coverage of economic woes, the subprime mess, recession risk, the falling dollar and a ballooning deficit, it is easy to lose perspective and become depressed. Which doesn't help anyone, much less our brains. To put things in perspective, it pays off to devote some time to keep a Gratitude Journal and simply scribble a few notes a day. For bonus points: do this while you are watching TV news and share your notes with your partner.

7. Cultivate your Critical-thinking abilities: Ask yourself, "Where is the evidence?" at least once a day - see points 1&2 above. Don't just believe this article. Even if it had been endorsed by 20 Harvard Medical School researchers and doctors, nothing substitutes your own brain in action. And the more you practice, the more you refine your judgment.

8. Participate in creating a better environment. Our planet, our families, our communities, our schools, all can benefit from our help. What project do you care enough to commit some of your time to in 2008? If you have school age kids, have you considered joining the school board?.

9. Computer-based programs: With the growing number of "brain training" products, you may be thinking of giving one a try, either for you or for a loved one. As mentioned in point number 2 above, it makes sense to do some research before making a purchase.

10. Where to start? OK, now you have read many suggestions, resolve to keep at least one of them...which one will you choose?.

[00katrinka00]

Landcaster Legacy Gen 7 Update #48

After the tour Mads helped Violet get situated in her dorm room. "Remember, to behave yourself, and make good choices." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mom. You and Dad sound like a broken record." Mads let out a sigh, "Just come here, I love you sweetheart." "Love you too, mom."

In Copperdale, after shopping for a few hours, Lacy and Jenna headed to the pier. "Seriously, Jenna, I got the days mixed up. I'm sorry for being late." "We made these plans like two weeks ago," Jenna told her. "Yes, I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

"You owe me now," Jenna told her. "Absolutely," Lacy agreed. "You name it, I owe it." "You know," Jenna began to say after a moment. "Maggie was saying some stuff, before you arrived." "Like what?" "Just that she didn't think you were a good friend since you were late. Also…"

"Also, what?" "I'm pretty sure she has a crush on Owen, but I told her you two were kind of a thing, but I'm not sure if she listened," Jenna explained. "First off, I barely even know Maggie, and it seems she's trying to ruin all my friendships, and I want to know why."

"It's weird," Jenna agreed. "We should go undercover and figure out what her issue with you is." "Absolutely, oh we need to-" Lacy's gaze settled on both Owen and Maggie who were talking on the other side of the pier. "What?" Jenna turned her head. "OMW." "I'll be right back."

"And lastly, this is the pier, most everyone hangs out here," Owen explained." "We could ride some rides, I spot a tunnel of love," Maggie suggested. "The rides aren't really my thing." "We could just talk then; what year of school are you in?" "Just graduated actually."

"Me too!" Maggie replied. "I graduated early though, I'm going to Foxbury after break, I'm studying Economics. I'm going to take over the family business." "Same, actually! Well, I'm studying physics, and I don't have a family business. I'm going to be a mechanical engineer."

"So, it seems we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the coming future, what a coincidence," Maggie giggled. "It's a good thing I gave you my number." "Yeah," Owen hesitated. "So uh, do you need me to walk you home at all?" "Please," Maggie nodded. "Excuse me," said a voice.

"Owen, can I talk to you?" Lacy asked. "Actually, we were just leaving," Maggie told her. "I wasn't talking to you," Lacy snapped. "Owen?" "Um," Owen paused and glanced towards Maggie. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?" "Whatever," Maggie rolled her eyes. "I'll be here I guess"

"What do you want, Lacy?" "Just listen, okay," Lacy began to explain. "Maggie over there, is trying to ruin all of my friendships. She tried to turn Jenna against me this morning, and now you, and I swear she's like obsessed with me and-" "Are you serious right now?" "What?"

"What are we Lacy?" Owen asked irritated. "Huh?" "I lost count of how many times you've rejected me, and then you always find a way to reel me back in, and I hope, and hope, that each time is different. Is this time different? Because I'm tired of this game" "Owen, I-"

"You aren't listening to me, Maggie is trying to ruin my life and-" "Let me get this straight, you can't decide if you want to be with me, but you also don't want me to be with anyone else?" "Owen-" "Not everything is about you!" "But-" "Goodbye, Lacy," Owen walked away.

"Here we are," said Owen as he dropped Maggie off at her house. "Not sure if I'm ready to say goodbye," she flirted. "You've been so kind to me today, thank you." "It's fine." "Promise me I'll see you again?" Maggie asked batting here eyes. "Promise," Owen agreed.

"Hey, Mags, where have you been all day," Maggie leaned in for a family kiss with her father. "Oh, you know me," she grinned. "Just plotting the downfall of our enemies." "That's my girl," Whit pulled his daughter in for a hug.

[longjiaojiao]

Thank you for the TRUTH omg... Based on personal experience and friends around me, Europe is the most racist place. Some Europeans said to me like "You're too sensitive" "It's just prank" NO they are NOT. As we all know the world is divided into two parts: the old Catholic countries in Europe and other places. US is just a colony, it was and still is a colonial country, I really don't want to see someone repeatedly emphasize that US is a "country of immigrants" because it cover up the colonial history and racist. yes racist has always been there, but in a different way now, rebuild by capitalists in a more subtle and deceptive way. No matter how much neoliberal shit you believe, in America, political power are just an adjunct to economic power, minorities have never been given those thing. All the rich capitalists who started building up their capital during the westward movement, they all came from Europe, most of them were Jews, and one of the traditions of the Jews was to accumulate wealth and not let anyone outside the family get it. So there are people who question Eurocentrism, and I can only explain it to you this way, Europe and the United States are two legs in the body of one man, this man's name is "capitalism." dude joking aside I mean it, we are witnessing history here in 2024, because with US even has no money to help crazy ass Israel, it is likely to secretly lighten a new war to make money. World War season three this time, and it's about everyone.

(this has already begun, with all of Europe supporting Ukraine, which almost all Ukrainian officials are now from the US, they quietly appeared in Ukrainian government just before Russo-Ukrainian war began, you can easily found their information but no one cares what happened before war People just blamed the one who started it:) European countries gave Ukraine those old stuff (most from WW2), they threw old war weapons to the Ukrainian, soldiers die because of these, then ordered brand new weapons from the US for themselves. The US has made a lot of money in recent years from the Russo-Ukrainian war and the Israeli-Palestinian war, Europe use the Russo-Ukrainian war to renew their weapons.......man..)

The way that Europeans in particular say "this is US-centric" or "typical Americans" when someone (usually a white person) acts ignorant or has privilege in another country (usually outside of Europe, the US and Canada, Australia and New Zealand) as a knee-jerk reaction is actually a sign of a much deeper issue.

(Buckle up, when I say "Europeans" in this post, I mean specifically Western, Central, and Scandinavian Europe. The ones with the history of colonialism and imperialism and the strongest, most influential economies and education systems. I know Scandinavia didn't colonize the Americas, but your education and welfare systems are so high-ranked, there's no excuse for the ignorance you display. Sorry boo.)

I never get mad about people insulting my country, because quite frankly, despite being born and raised in the United States, this is the same country that's committed hate crimes towards me and my neighbors and put its imperializing little hands on our ancestral homelands. We're the ones fighting every day to make this stupid-ass country a better place.

The reason Europeans defaulting to "America stupid" is such a horrible way to respond to a westerner acting out isn't because I'm in denial of American exceptionalism, but rather because Europeans exhibit the same behaviors, and by pushing it onto another country, shift any accountability for those behaviors aside, never to address them, let alone correct them.

There's just something so ironic about Europeans dubbing two entire continents with rich, ancient civilizations "the New World," systematically wiping out the thousands of cultures here and coercing everyone to live by their own...and then turning around and laughing at the mess they made, using it as a scapegoat for when they don't want to confront the terrible things they're still doing. They're pointing at the mirror and laughing at their own reflection. "I didn't do that, they did."

[gukyi]

the love project | jjk

summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.

{college!au, friends to lovers!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!

These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur. 

At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.

Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks. 

Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all. 

Your best friend would have to disagree.

“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”

“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”

“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”

He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.

Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode. 

Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments. 

But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.

“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”

Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did. 

He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself. 

“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half. 

“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”

“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”

“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”

“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”

“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you. 

“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”

Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.

There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off. 

The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything. 

So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong. 

“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds. 

It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you. 

“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated. 

“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.

“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”

“What do you have to do?”

Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”

You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly. 

“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”

“Oh,” You say dumbly. 

“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”

“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you. 

Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”

“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”

“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”

“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years. 

“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”

He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost. 

Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about. 

“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”

“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”

He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.

“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”

“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless. 

“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”

“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.

You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together. 

Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest. 

Click.

“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?

From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”

“Well, how many do you have now?”

It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.

You wonder what the hell he sees in you. 

“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement. 

“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows. 

It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click. 

He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why. 

“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?

“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”

“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.

Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”

You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”

“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”

“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”

 “What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair. 

“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”

Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems. 

The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you. 

When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.

“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.

“I never want to miss anything.”

“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”

“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”

“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?

“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”

At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship. 

You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it. 

Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio. 

Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic. 

This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since. 

It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have. 

“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows. 

“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”

“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in. 

You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”

“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.

“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”

“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once. 

“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”

“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.

“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”

Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”

“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”

“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this. 

You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right? 

The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.

“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins. 

“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing. 

You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”

You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention. 

“Y/N!”

You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind. 

Another voice breaks you from your trance. 

“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide. 

The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes. 

“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”

“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to. 

Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you. 

“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”

The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”

Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you. 

“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”

“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”

“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you? 

What do you not know?

By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.

This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?

Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.

You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence. 

Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them? 

Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.

Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.

So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.

An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met. 

And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.

The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.

“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.

The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor. 

“Whoa.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook. 

“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”

“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”

“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”

“Yeah.”

It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date. 

“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”

“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”

“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this. 

“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”

Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”

“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”

“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”

“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”

You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you. 

“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”

“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief. 

Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”

He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it. 

Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it. 

And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory. 

Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away. 

You wonder what he sees. 

(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)

“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.

You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders. 

“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”

Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door. 

“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”

There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.

“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”

Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door. 

For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left. 

The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind. 

You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet. 

[November 7th, 8:48PM]

You: you still game for that movie?

[November 7th, 8:50PM]

Jungkook: you finished your date already?

You: is that a yes or a no

Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that

You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over

The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.

Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side. 

But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet. 

Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive. 

“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist. 

“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him. 

“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them. 

You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted. 

“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”

Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing. 

Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter. 

“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”

“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”

To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash. 

He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them. 

“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.

Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him. 

Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”

The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card. 

“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black. 

“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised. 

Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure. 

“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body. 

The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is. 

“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you. 

“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”

“I want to see it.”

“What? My project?”

“What else?”

“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”

You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”

“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”

“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”

“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?

“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown. 

“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back. 

You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further. 

“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.

Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”

And that’s good enough for you. 

You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.

You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.

“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”

“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”

“How do you know what feels right?”

Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him. 

The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet. 

So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?

Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment. 

The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester. 

Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there. 

Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that. 

Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?

Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right. 

“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”

“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk. 

Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room. 

You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind. 

Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world. 

As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well. 

The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen. 

There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written. 

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her. 

What?

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page… 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

“Y/N?”

You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling. 

“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom. 

“Uh—”

“Were you reading my computer screen?”

It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else. 

“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head. 

(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)

“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease. 

“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart. 

“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”

“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you. 

“So you are hiding something?”

“That’s not the point, the point is that—”

“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”

“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving. 

He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless. 

“Jungkook—?”

“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”

“Know what? What would I know?” 

Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”

The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating. 

“You’re in love with me?” You ask him. 

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”

You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”

Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”

“And you are mine,” you remind him. 

“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”

And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain. 

You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing. 

But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure. 

He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth. 

He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about. 

By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out. 

“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”

Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.

“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”

Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process. 

You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world. 

“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”

“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”

“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”

“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”

“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”

“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious. 

It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side. 

“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her. 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!

[purecantarella]

Don't Apologize

henlo everyone! so this update is a day late because, well, i got mad busy with some stuff here at home. a lots happening lately but for real, i'm so sorry for the late update 🥺 but i hope you all enjoy this! hwang yeji x reader disclaimer/s : big angsty fluff again. a lot of crass language and a shitty as hell best friend. i'm just in not the state to write pure fluff right now :")

Your best friend was an asshole. He never kept it a secret. All of the scams and the cheating he'd ever accomplished, you were the first and only one to know. You liked to think that this wasn't who your best friend was, you of all people knew that he was just dealt a bad hand since his childhood.

And with that sentiment in your heart and the years of friendship under your belt, you defended him and all his dumb antics.

You sat in the library your fingers nimbly tapping on the keys of your laptop. While you diligently trying to accomplish your final term paper before your last week of the semester, a hand collided with the back of your head. You took a sharp breath and shot a glare to the person who'd done it but your expression softened looking at your best friend's laughing face.

Your shoulders went slack and you reciprocated the amused grin on his face. "Hey fucker!" He greeted you before looking down at your laptop and cringed at the 7-paged essay you were writing. "Y/n, that shit isn't what you do with the campus's free wifi or with your spare time." The boy said shutting your laptop screen.

"This is due next week, I just want to get a head start." You explained making an attempt to open your laptop again to no avail. He smirked down at your amused expression. "See while you, my dear friend, have been getting ahead...I have been getting head." He snickered to which you rolled your eyes.

He chuckled again, "You remember that college is about experiencing new shit." You shrugged, just wanting the conversation to end and for him to get to his point. "Look, I can tell you're getting annoyed so I'm going to come out and say it. I want you to come to a party with me tonight." An exasperated laugh fell from your lips as you leaned back into your seat, rubbing your tired eyes.

"I am not going to a party for you to just leave me and hook up with some random drunk T.A." You said firmly to which he scoffed and sat kneeled down beside you. "Y/n." He said taking your hand in his dramatically. "N/n. My best friend, my partner in crime. Would you please, come to this dumb party with me? I promise I won't leave you alone to fend for yourself."

A huff broke it's way past you and you shook your head, the tired smile returning on your face. Finally, as the pout on his face deepened, you nodded laughing out at him. "Fine, let's go to this stupid party, buddy." You chuckled again as he fist pumped victoriously.

Just as you thought, the party was a crowded dorm room a little off campus overflowing with sweaty, drunk, and burnt-out students looking for some fun. You stood there in a sleepy haze as your best friend, true to his word to not leave your side, talked to a barely sober economics major.

You huffed, bored. You looked around the room in attempts to find a familiar face. Anyone to talk to really. Then you saw her, standing with her friends, laughing at something one of them had said and your tired eyes blew open.

Hwang Yeji in all her beauty, standing there with a drink in hand. Her fox-shaped eyes turning to crescents with a big smile over her pink lips, nose crinkling in amusement.

You'd shared dozens of classes with her in the past two years of being in college and had worked with her on a few assignments but you'd never had the opportunity to see her in a social setting. That of course was your fault but you chose to look at it as the universe's way to keep you from her.

"Holy shit..." Your head shot to the side and your heart sank at the sight. Your best friend, eyes off of the flirtatious student, now glued to the pale sophomore. "Y/n..." He said pushing the girl he was talking to away, pulling you closer.

You glared at his lust ridden face, knowing full well what that look meant. You elbowed him but all he did was groan softy before chuckling and making his way over to Yeji, his predatory gaze still prominent over his expression. You scowled at the cheesy way he put his hand out and placed a small kiss on the back of hers.

Speechlessly, you watched a dejected feeling in your stomach as they talked all night. All the while his expression not changing, while Yeji's face was flushed.

Half an hour past before you got sick of standing alone, just as you knew you would, you made your way out to walk home to your dorm through the cold night. With one last look from across your shoulder, you saw him go in for the kill. His lips meeting Yeji's sloppily. You shoved your hands into your pockets and left.

The next week was still hell for you. Your workload had seemingly doubled and you were working on assignments til dawn for the past few days. Trying to shake off the disappointment and sadness that had come with your best friend seeing the girl that you'd liked for your entire college life and knowing full well that she was just another conquest for him left a bitter taste in your mouth.

One night, while coming home from your latest library visit, you were so out of it that you almost didn't notice Yeji herself sitting outside your dorm. You looked around confused. Seeing that there was no one around, you stood in front of her tilting your head to the side.

She raised her head to meet your eyes making you jump a little in surprise; your heart becoming a speeding car. But at the same time, a blaze lit in your chest as you saw her flushed, tear-stained cheeks. The sharp eyes that you'd admired before were puffy and red from the tears. Yeji sniffled softly and wiped her face a little.

"What'd he do?" You simply asked. She shook her head gently, not wanting to disclose information to you, someone she barely knew.

You nodded, understanding her state of being. You kneeled down to properly look her in the eyes. "Wait here, okay? I'll take you home after I deal with him." You whispered softly, placing an affirming hand over her head. The brunette nodded slowly before you got up and opened the door to your apartment.

Immediately the dorm wafted off a smell of sex and echoes of moans ringed through the small space. Your jaw clenched as you stomped your way to your best friend's room. Kicking open the door, both people in the room gasped and made sounds of surprise. Your best friend shot you a glare before screaming, "Get out, Y/n! Jesus!"

"Nope, I want you out of here before I get back. You and this fucking bitch." You said firmly before shooting him daggers. "Easy to say that I'm not going to condone this behaviour any longer." With that you slammed the door harshly.

He'd rushed to the door, covering his junk, before yelling at you, "Seriously? All because of THAT girl? Are you an idiot, Y/n?" He'd fumed at you while you remained apathetic with him. "Could you expect anything more from me? She wouldn't put ou—!" With that your fist collided with his stomach. He'd fallen to his knees, wheezing at the pain spreading.

"That's no excuse, for any of the girls you've fucked over, dude." You said before grabbing your book bag from the dining table. You took a few steps towards the front door, your hand already around the doorknob.

Tears pricked your eyes a little but you still stood by your actions. He may have had the face and name of your friend, but he wasn't the easy-going kid you'd grown up with anymore. "I'm really sorry that it ended this way, bud..." You muttered softly before stepping out of the door.

You looked down to still see Yeji sitting there, sulking to herself. You offered your hand for her to take. "Come on, let me take you home."

The drive there was incredibly uncomfortable for both of you. You were both still reeling from your individual break-ups with your now ex-best friend. You glanced over at her, still looking rather broken up about it.

"I'm sorry about him." You said, breaking the ice. She took a sharp intake of breath but said nothing, so you continued. "You didn't deserve to take any of his shit. I should've told him off a long time ago. It shouldn't have gotten this far..." You added. Again the silence loomed over both of you.

You'd been worrying if you'd made her feel even worse until she finally said, "Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault, Y/n..." You looked at her while she was already staring at you. She offered you a tired smile. Again, your pulse hammered against your body as you pulled to a stop in front of her apartment.

She removed herself from the car, leaning on the car, reluctant to enter the complex building. You lowered the window saying, "It's all going to be fine. I'm here if you ever need anything." Yeji turned around, to look at you through the opened car window.

A feeling of warmth blossomed in her chest as she stared at your gentle features. She'd really only started seeing your best friend because she that she could fix him, but after being objectified one too many times, she'd had enough herself. Yeji had wondered now how long you had to deal with that yourself. But seeing you now, after what you'd done for her, she couldn't help but feel a little more fond of you.

"Maybe you would want to come over tomorrow, we can study for the final together. If you'd like?" She offered gently. Your eyes went wide as you nodded enthusiastically. The brunette giggled to herself softly before leaning into the car, pulling you closer to the window by your collar. Placing a small peck on your cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n. Thank you again..." She said before walking slowly back to her apartment building.

A small smile found its way onto your lips as you leaned back into your seat. A bittersweet feeling filling you slowly as you allowed the events of that night to finally process.

Though you were low about the things and people you'd lost, some things were meant to break to make better things. You weren't sure if everything that went down tonight was worth it but seeing that smile on her face, seeing that there was some potential between you two, you'd felt a little more hopeful for better things.

okay, i'm not super sold on the ending personally but, i actually liked how it came out??? it's a weird purgatory for this story in my opinion AHAHAHAH in any case though, i hope you all enjoyed! remember that requests are open and comments and criticism is completely welcomed! i hope you're all doing well and i'll see you all very soon! taglist: @labrachrosite

[mack3030]

Imagine being wrong and then blocking someone...

Imagine the gal of replying to a post someone makes calling you on your shit and then blocking them. Oh honey, class act!

Let's talk about your "excuses" for using ad*fly and why they won't hold water:

1) Being a poor student does not give you the right to risk people's safety. Period. As a student, you should know how important a laptop or desktop is for getting schoolwork and other "work" done. So why risk the laptops and desktops of OTHER people just so you can get the 0.05 cents per click you'd make from ad*fly? If you want some proof of how AD^FLY is dangerous, why don't you do some looking into the following blogs: HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE

2) The argument of "It's always worked for me, so it must apply to everyone" is so fucking dangerous I can't even begin to explain. This would be like saying "Oh, since my natural immunity has protected me so long against COVID-19, it must also work for everyone else too!" This is the sort of logic that leads to people dying. 3) You honestly want to act as though patreon is scummy? Like, early access isn't a thing. And yes, I'm not a fan of permapaywall builders either and I have talked about that (HERE) but there ARE some builders who are early access. {Case in point?@beansbuilds,@gawdlysims ,@sierrathesimmer} Why can't you do patreon early access? Surely you'd make more off your sets from that than the 0.5 cents you'd make from ad*fly. Or even better, do a donation link like a ko-fi or some other form of donation where people can choose to support you? 4) Also the "ways to avoid ad.fly" aren't always as easy to install or figure out as some people would hope. For example, Universal Bypass, which I have, involves having a file directory somewhere on your computer at all times. If you accidentally delete the program directory "poof" the "extension" is gone. And unlike other programs, since it's basically an unoffical chrome extension, you have to install that directory yourself. Which may not be as easy for some who aren't tech savvy. Now I'm here talking about this as if you'll actually see this (which you probably won't since you blocked me, unless one of your friends/followers screenshots it!) but you really need to work on having a decent reason for being such a jerk. Because all of your excuses don't hold water. Here's the thing that pisses me off in general about creators who paywall in the sims 4 community. They act as is their bad/shitty circumstances give them the excuse to treat other people like shit. Having issues paying the bills? Permapaywall stuff so people can't access your stuff unless you pay. A student who can't get a student job? Put everything behind ad$fly and risk giving people viruses. Living in a country that's in an economic downturn? Time to rip meshes other people made from secondlife/imvu and sell them as sims 4 cc, damn the original creator. Meanwhile, I know so many other wonderful sims 4 creators who are going through just as bad circumstances who are CHOOSING to not treat the community like shit. @anachrosims has mounting vet bills and a dying laptop, yet she's not putting her CC behind ad*fly. @oswanily has had to open up comissions due to monetary concerns, yet she's still not permapaywalling her CC. I could go on and ON about simmers who have had to ask for the kindness of other players to help make ends meet who DIDN'T treat the community like crap to do so. It's the whole "I'm miserable so I need to make everyone else pay for my misery" for me. The fact that your situation means you CHOOSE to treat a community badly, steal, or put people's safety at risk instead of choosing other, ETHICAL ways to deal with your situation pisses me off. Those with the strongest character are those who refuse to hurt others when they are hurting, or in tough situations. There are resources, and kind and giving people who will help you out without having to paywall to get their assistance. Really showing the class here Novvas, oh and by the way, who wants to bet the reason tumblr nuked your first account was because you posted your ad*fly links on there?

[tenfoldtranslation]

get rid of’ these eggs-- do I speak English?? -> use up these eggs

I really do use too many exclamation points

"The point of life is to enjoy it.""I don’t wanna stress." big mood

There is so much text on randomly difficult background patterns, I hope the letterer can manage... also fingers crossed the letterer is good this time

lmao this is the same joke as Fuku o Kiru Nara (ossan ka)

(how many people will get the meme reference?? if many, maybe just ’saw long cat’? probably not but) -> hopefully this will have a real translator's note

Apparently nekojita only applies to hot things, I always thought it was cold things too.

I wanted to put "Kh" instead of "Tch", but I think it might only be my family that makes that sound when they're disappointed...?

kigurumi -> snow suits (I’d cancel myself for this too) I was checking bc I think ’snow suit’ implies it’s a single piece, but so does ’kigurumi’, right?

moe -> cute (I’d cancel myself for this too) (on the same page even, that’s bad)

what’s that thing Katrina talked about, phatics?

They're like snow! -> They're like ice! (talking about how cold hands are) localization babey

okay it is two hands not hand

oh this is the ’don’t repeat the thing’ people were talking about (>手を出して　>手？)

I feel like Haa means the soft breath vs blow

I love this series' take on romance (except maybe [redacted character that hasn't shown up yet] ... and not exactly [redacted] but I appreciate it). Now I wanna readdd moreeee

Times when punctuation just works different (. having more emphasis than !)

oooh I have mochi to eat o.o (OH I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MOCHI IN THE PICTURE X( okay maybe mochi it is…)

also there's some really hilarious English used as graphic design on t-shirts (it's like, copy-pasted out of, idk, economics magazines?)

ah mostly they don’t use honorifics because they’re all family…

author’s note explains why we gets Valentines every year haha

we know bath salts aren’t just drugs right. I’m not sure there’s any way around calling them that. it’s become very hard to find information about regular bath salts…. -> went with 'bath powder'

oh it is gulp, nod is kokuri (it was 'gokuri')

lol jisho coming in with the ’efficacious chemicals’ definition ftw (of 'kusuri')

trying to figure out if non-drug bath salts have chlorine in them (it seemed like they have chloride, so hopefully that's close enough...)

Is [redacted] wearing anything on this page? A towel...?

flip that, reverse it (the prey is trying to become a predator -> The predator has become the prey.) It's obvious enough from context which is which

how many times have I read this and it still said "there here is"???? like three times at least?? (-> there he is)

soaked -> damp -> WET (LIKE THE BLORBOS *finger funs* yeah funs not guns huh)

shiver would work but gata is clattery right? -> chatter

Wait. -> Hold up. (saw Bet On It again too recently)

Trying so hard not to turn これ、どうしたんだい into "wots all this then" -> what's all this -> what's this stuff -> where did all this come fromf (UGH apparently there was a typo in my draft, sob)

not college, university (it's mostly the U.S. that says 'college') (though I guess this is for a U.S. audience anyway...)

押し付ける　oh good jisho says ’foist’

Translator’s notes I can’t include: why are you putting fruit in a cupcake THAT’S A MUFFIN --- I guess TECHNICALLY they're on top... D: (I had taken out 'cupcake' entirely but it ended up for now as) -> This cupcake is yummy. All the fruit pieces are delicious!

Still don't really know what おてんば means where it's used

うぷ Danganronpa

Translator's notes I can't include: "I have a friend who has a huge sweet tooth. I’ll hand these off to him." =how Japanese society functions

"[redacted]-sensei, you can have mine, let me try one of yours!" Mind is in the gutter again

ゴゴゴゴゴゴ I wish we could just replace these with wiggly lines

Having to figure out from when the chapter was originally published, the weather, and other context that the character was actually gone over spring break (between school years in Japan) and not over the summer as I assumed

Oh many I didn't even include the part where it said cats can't have shrimp, but in actuality it's only raw shrimp that a really a problem, but Japanese doesn't feel the need to specify that they'd be raw because why wouldn't they be (as a U.S.-ian I just assumed they were cooked)

Maybe [main character] is like yuruyaka

Trying to figure out how to say "school nurse" using words that a small child wouldn't understand (since it's 養護教諭 in Japanese)

It's bad when you're trying to figure out a synonym and all the synonyms are still in Japanese (shikkari -> reigi-tadashii)

I was gonna split this thought into two but the third part is relevant

"Leave it to us." ahh that’s the otoko ga iitai serifu top 3 (I was just listening to Ore no Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru)

this is the kind of stuff that’s actually hard to translate ToT "easy to eat" but that sounds silly in English -> This one’s not so sweet, so it’ll be a nice change.-> This one’s less sweet, so it will be a nice change.-> think of it like a palate cleanser

"True. But he’s still a walking disaster." Ah, that’s not what katabutsu means… -> "True. Though he could loosen up a little."

I found a non-volume version of the pages that still had the editorial text on the opening pages included, and some of them it's a CRIME that they weren't kept for the volume publication, they're already good but it made it so much better

"school lunch cook" Also it should be 'high school' but we'll get there

(rip & RIP pun…) so pumped for this

spongebob -1 hour leatahh-

profit, make out, kill, earn big, make the big bucks, earn a living

Kay, are you ready? (not [redacted])

" take out my feelings on" would be much different… and that’s not right, right? -> to cheer me up

some tricky sfx in this. おず? For あくあく, oh right I did look this one up… baby hands grabbing, hayaku shiro, しきりに口を開け閉めする, 一瞬驚きおそれるさま。 · 突然はげしく折れ曲がったり、動いたりするさま

wow this page is like, ALL SFX

解せぬ "Doesn't get it" memey (OH RIGHT IT WAS POP-TEPIC)

う〜ん okay yeah maybe it’s like うねる nvm うなされる

I keep working on this when there are cats nearby and it keeps being so relatable

Existing fandom saw a line that said ママ友 and interpreted the person in the panel as [main character's] mom and that's totally not right. I feel like ’mom friend’ means something different anyway, but I think in the end it's the best choice.

Phew, first draft of volume 1 turned in!! I'm so looking forward to once this gets announced and I can actually talk about it!! Hopefully it'll have more readers than the last series I worked on ^^; Especially because we really need to make it to some of the later volumes, like people need to buy it so we can get to at least, like, volume 8!

To celebrate, here's a short list of translation quandaries/thought/notes that would be too stupid to put into print!

’Bowl’ is better but I think it says ’皿’ so we’ll go with ’dish’

When the original says "evolve" but that's not how evolution works

’shitsuke’ is hard to translate

(ahh now I see why my editor was complaining about the apostrophes, they only show up as pointed the wrong direction when I copy-paste them out)

Apparently lay is transitive and lie is intransitive, who knew??

Silly owner! -> Tricks are for kids! (changed it to Stupid owner!)

KIDDEN (I can explain once the series gets announced)

Looking up the difference between sardines and anchovies

"Thanks" with your mouth full: could be "Danks" but that looks too much like "dank" (went with "Fanks")

MC is really great but there are several lines the get borderline creepy if you look at them wrong ("SFXCreep", "Ahh. You smell so clean.")

you KICK Miette?! (but that’s anachronistic to when this first came out ;o;)

Translator’s notes I can’t include: this reminds me of the eromanga days ("I’ll make sure it’s not scary. So relax, okay?")

(Followed by "I’m not blushing. Not blushing!!" It do be like that sometimes)

This series has a lot of one-page gags which is way different than the ones I worked on before, it's kind of nice to have it all condensed like that!

(It took me like, a dozen reads to finally get all the tiny story threads with the art and the jokes I think)

Oh wait I forgot to send this!! "[Page 36: The joke was originally a play on ’hayaoki wa sanmon no toku’, meaning ’there’s benefit to getting up early’, and [character] heard ’sanmon’ as ’salmon’.]"

(Same character) ohhh, [redacted]-yuki, light snow fall; small snow flakes (like her tips)

へーい -> Mmkay.

It's kinda refreshing, I guess, that we see [main character] without a shirt on a lot...?

About さんきゅー: lol I’m gonna says ’thanks’ is okay since it’s in hiragana (and then I changed... and snuck in Purrfect, thanks; that'll probably get changed. There's actually a spot where it says "Perfect" later, but I think changing it would interfere with a joke there.)

Translator’s notes I can’t include: since it doesn’t actually say body horror ("Like body horror?" -> "Like a horror movie.")

Translator’s notes I can’t include: ("don't make up a man to get mad at" -> "Don’t judge what you don’t know!")

thank goodness for Katekyo Hitman Reborn so I know what a 仮定教師 is

There's a panel that just says マーキング that kinda squicks me out for some reason.

doesn’t specify which meal but, dinner? could be both…? ("今日のご飯なぁに？" -> "Yuya, what are we having today?")

SANMA SAURY

oh same problem here actually, it’s not necessarily rice… (ご飯)

[character name] is named after another character I like from Ajin and acts like another character from D.Gray-man, so those influenced my first draft, but I think I have a solid enough grasp on his own character now after reading up to volume 10

see ’picked you up’ really doesn’t work here (for 拾う, because it means 'took in', but it could get confused with 'lifted off the ground')

too sexy for his shirt

if boku is uke and 俺 is seme, is オレ switch? >>

[main character] really doesn’t strike me as someone who’d say ’Tch’??!! -> "Got me."

oh, cat fight, I hadn’t noticed (I get so focused on the words sometimes it takes me way longer than it should to notice the art)

meager? flimsy? sparse? skimpy? paltry? *scant?

Translator’s notes I can’t include: also now it’s a sneaky Ajin reference (right?) OH that's why I wanted 'play ball' and not 'play catch'... (it did get changed to 'play catch' as of now)

LOTR potato song

just realized [character's name] looks like [redacted] Street

"ass backwards" would be really funny too (went with "Do you two know the phrase ‘cart before the horse’?)

Things on Walmart are called ’senbei’ so that means I can use 'senbei' too right

we were just doing this to Panda (scaring my friend's cat and her tail puffed up)

OMg the jisho example sentence for gikuri… 圭はその問いにギクリとさせられたが、頭を何でもないといいたそうに横に振る。 [redacted] is startled by that question, but shakes her head as it to say that it’s nothing

two very conflicting purposes for this line: not revealing [redacted]'s gender, and also conveying what the line means >>

not to mention it's about おっぱい and this isn't that kind of manga

I mean I guess we could just say 'buns' (instead of dango) but since we're launching directly into Otsukimi that seems unfair to the reader

(It was really funny how frequently things I was doing irl overlapped with what was happening in the manga as I worked on it! Christmas, mochi, snow, cats being cute...)

hey their names all use different writing systems

もみもみ-> knead knead, directly followed by こねこね→knead knead

"Super" seems too girly for [redacted female character]?

"You know, in other countries, they say a lion lived there [on the moon]." I swear I searched for at least half an hour and I cannot figure out what this is talking about. Hopefully someone else can figure it out.

oh like the wood getting in the mochi?? (from the thing you pound the mochi in, we had just been talking about that)

"The moon’s so pretty." -> I love you?

"now I’m translating and I don’t want to get up bc of the cats…"

Staying with my host sister in Tokyo-Chiba gave me perspective on what really counts as ’inaka’ LOL

I probably posted about this already, but over the 2.5 months of translating this, I've become hyper-aware of dekopons. They're everywhere! Even in the U.S.! Trader Joe's just featured them in their latest flyer!!

Translator’s notes I can’t include: deception by orange: ("OK BUT THEY HAVEN’T EXPLAINED THIS YET… god am I going to be sucked into ANOTHER red herring about oranges XnX" -> after Code Geass many moons ago)

"ああしてるとやっぱ男の子だな" -> "Boys will be boys." I dislike this line but I feel like this is an okay solution…? except [main character] isn’t like that XD is that making a new point? I mean I guess what he said in JP would be making the same point… < ah that’s funny because [main character] is supposed to be (speaking?) more feminine

"やっぱユーヤはかっこいいね" -> "You're handsome." this feels like a huge stretch but also supremely in prince [redacted] character?? like she says it offhand. okay well the first word on jisho for kakko ii is ’attractive’, so maybe handsome works? I still think this is the right choice

Tara-> cod means you get poetry like "I think we’ll do hot pot with cod for dinner."

Translator’s notes I can’t include: moyashi (?) ! (like D.Gray-man) -> string bean

is that too SpyxFamily? -> Borf (from わふん) (Went with WORF) (I did borrow "shock" for ガン though)

I thought it sounded dumb but I’m getting attached to it… ("Alarm of cuteness blast")

uptight? careful? particular? mindful? cautious…

Translator’s notes I can’t include: Knitting doesn’t work that way. Also even if it does, the clothes would look more knitted...

仕事、おつかれさま -> "We know you worked hard today." is this what gets me cancelled

最高気温10度 well actually that one works both ways XD XD XD whether it's Celsius or Fahrenheit, 10 degrees is still cold!!!

I don't think the book they're reading about Santa is any existing book in particular

"I’m not a kind" oops -> "I'm not a kid" (silly typo)

"It’s no fun receiving without giving in return." "Prepare yourself!!" (this is about presents, but... is that too sexual or am I just a bad person? it’s fine. bad person confirmed)

lol that puts "Roger!" in two of my series too

Heh sounds too lecherous but hmph sounds too dispassionate…

I really should be writing this 100% in caps all the time huh (since manga is usually lettered in all caps, it might be better to have an idea of what it might look like)