#and a diary

[moonamite]

Ever since I was little I always got the impression Randall was an autistic boy who just wanted people to like him, to be accepted and praised, but ultimately ends up with the wrong crowd- Which ALSO reminds me of my experience with autism in a school setting where people will only come to you if you can be ‘useful’ to them, like ROR with Randall’s camouflage ability, and how easy it is to be tricked into mistaking this for genuine kindness.

On the topic of camouflage, whether intentional or not, it’s a perfect metaphor for masking, ‘blending in’. And how Randall has to change who he is just to fit in, starting out small by taking off his glasses, and ending with him completely changing who he is as a person. It all hits way too close to home for me.

And I’m not excusing any of his actions, but I can emphasize with his experiences that cause him to be this way. How his jealousy turns into hatred. I’ve felt all of those things. How one bad experience can change you. It’s just. UUUUUGH.

I don’t know if it’s really an autism thing but I’ve noticed a common theme of me and my nd friends having particular issues with letting go of the past/holding grudges.

Even if he was hypothetically given a second chance, there’d still be that bitter, petty side of him that will always be there because it’s been practically engraved into his head ever since that one moment.

And on the topic of the incident™️, there’s the topic of Johnny. I’m out for blood when I see this asshole. I’ve been in Randall’s exact position of trying to get in with the popular crowd. When Johnny told him to “do the thing” and he giddily obeyed immediately like a puppy desperate to please so they could gawk at him.

He mistook their ‘acceptance’ as friendship. But the only reason why they kept him around was because of his ability, similar how the popular kids will keep around the oblivious autistic kid to use as a punching bag or a jester. They were never laughing with you. They were laughing at you.

MaW is cool and all but I don’t buy that Randall and Johnny were ‘besties’, especially not after the scare games. My personal belief is that Randall left them and secluded himself from people after what happened, never getting over his humiliation and shame, and hatred for Sully. He gets so fixated on proving himself that nothing else matters, and thus he never grows as a person. It may seem far fetched to a normal person, but to me I understand. I get how easy it is to slip into that mindset, to let one bad experience eat away at you and change you, how it makes you withdraw from other people and let yourself get enveloped in your feelings.

I just, idk… I want to see him grow, too. Because I know he’s more than just the hatred and jealousy that’s been building inside of him. He wasn’t always like this, we know that. One experience can ruin you, but it can also save you.

Anyways yeah this boys autistic

[mystardustmelodyyy]

Moi, going into the 31st year

[amartworks]

had a fun experience on the subway the other day

[effen-draws]

A small comic about Palestine I created to appeal to more passive family and friends

Anyways if you have the money I urge you to donate to Ibraheem Hadi, a Palestinian who contacted me and whom I promised to highlight in relation to this comic:

Otherwise there is always a need for eSims to keep Gazans connected

[gorjee-art]

a comic about cuddles

[odocoileus-esoterica]

"You were in my dreams last night" yeah our souls have been clawing through our chests to get to each other since we met but I'm glad you noticed

[die-rosastrasse]

Various stars & moon details from my gouache paintings 🌙✨

[croaksac]

everytime i see amaury the chocolate smith I'm consumed thinking about how funny it would be for him to make a really bad chocolate house out of hershey bars like a kid would make, but all the video production values are the same and he's still got that winning smile

[antennatoheaven]

[kyacchan-comics]

Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

[kazoosandfannypacks]

i love that discord doesn't tell you if someone's read your messages. like genuinely. normalize others not needing every second of your time right away. normalize taking time to formulate a proper answer. normalize this.

[lavenderstream]

I know her tumblr would be fire

[incendavery]

average library childrens room tasks

[heartiella]

[soulmvtes]

sunsets after 7pm now !!!!!!!!!!! we made it guys !!!!!!!!!!!!