#and YES I have to include Alex ALSO knowing the issue like their mother and being the charming person they are towards MC

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Heheh I'm back on my Zeus mess >:)) @megatraven and @catlovingwitch

So I've already talked to you two about it, I believe, but here is the general idea I had at like midnight one night:

"Zeus and MC have a fight and then MC goes to a party that's held by the Gods because of the case success and MC meets Zeus there and emotions."

Anyways here we go and I hope everyone likes it-

Btw, the ending scene isn't that good bc idk how to write it and you'll see-

There’s proofreading but if something is off then my bad!

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As soon as MC got home, she closed the door and locked it.

"At least the case is solved," she told herself, trying to make sense of her sadness.

She shouldn't have been feeling sad, but she was. Her and Zeus fought before the case was finished, but they never made up. They finally finished the case this day and MC was excused.

She opened her bedroom curtain, and crashed right onto her bed. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She couldn't believe how she was feeling and didn't understand why.

"He's my boss. He's the King of all kings. I shouldn't be feeling like this."

She would've laid there for the rest of the evening, but her thinking was interrupted by the sound of an alarm. She felt vibration on her side and realized it was her phone. She pulled it out and saw a reminder that made her heart drop. "The Olympus celebration is tonight," she said with low surprise. Her past self would've been excited, but now she felt drained and anxious.

She sat up and undid her bun with a sigh. She looked over at her closet and remembered what was inside. After she worked with Zeus for awhile, he became...closer to her. He became more friendly, so he decided to give her a gift. He knew there was going to be a celebration on Olympus one day and how she had to go since she was working with him, so he gave her a nice dress to wear. It was soft, comfortable, and not too fancy. It was just right for her. Despite her attempt not to, her heart fluttered at the reminder that he considered what she liked.

She stood up and walked over to the closet, her heart feeling heavy with every step. She opened it and looked at the beautiful dress that was among all her regular clothes. It was a white, one shoulder dress, with one long sleeve down the right arm. There were no designs or anything, so it was simple. To make up for the plainness, he gave her a necklace and bracelet. Now that was the part that truly made her heart flutter. The necklace was a gold chain with a pendant stopping below her collarbone. The bracelet was gold pearls tied together. They really were beautiful, but now she didn't know if she wanted to wear them at all.

Her head was fighting with her heart, and she knew she had to find an answer. She only had thirty minutes to get there.

"He seemed upset when I left. Maybe I need to go and apologize?" She asked herself.

They were both upset and he deserved to apologize to her, but she also had to apologize. That little fact made her nod as she looked at the dress.

"I have to go and at least say sorry. It'll be fine," she reassured herself.

She grabbed the dress and accessories and carefully put them on. She walked to the mirror in her bathroom and smiled at herself. She really looked beautiful, and she couldn't remember the last time she felt like that. She turned this way and that to try and see herself from all sides, and she looked good to go.

She let out a deep breath. "Alright, it's time to go. You got this." She finger gunned at the mirror and laughed.

She went and grabbed her purse and locked the door as she left.

.

.

She walked through the entrance of H.E.R.A. and was messing with her sleeve as she walked to the elevator.

"MC?" A voice said behind her.

MC would've jumped, but she knew that voice. She turned around and smiled. "Alex!"

Alex was walking through the entrance as well and smiling. When they got closer, they looked her up and down, and smirked.

"You look very good. Trying to impress someone?"

MC's eyes widened before she shyly looked down at the ground. "Zeus gave it to me, and I thought I should wear it."

She didn't see it, but Alex's smirk grew even more. They wanted to tease her, but knew she was too shy, and that they were running out of time.

They walked closer and ruffled her hair slightly. "How about we hurry up together? It's going to start soon."

She looked up at them and smiled back. "Yeah, we better hurry." She walked with them as they went up to Olympus, talking about whatever came to mind. Even if MC wanted to talk about something completely different.

.

MC and Alex walked through Olympus and to the room where they held the celebration. Alex looked a little excited and bright, while MC was still anxious and scared. But she pushed it away when she walked in with them.

Alex looked around the room and spotted their mother immediately. "How about we go see my mother?"

MC could see their excitement at seeing Aphrodite, and she was a little excited to see her, too. She nodded and followed them as they weaved through the crowd. They made it to Aphrodite and she greeted them with a loving smile. Her gaze then met MC's and her smile stayed the same.

"MC! I'm so glad you could make it," she said with a little surprise.

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I didn't want to miss it." She did her best to sound excited, but she knew she failed. Her mind was still occupied by a hardheaded God.

If Aphrodite noticed it, she didn't mention it. She just nodded and squeezed MC's shoulder. "Well, I'm glad you decided to come. I wanted to give you my thanks."

MC tilted her head. "Thank me for what?"

Alex gave MC a confused look. "MC, you helped save the Pantheon, you deserve thanks."

"You deserve more than thanks, but I can't give it all here," Aphrodite said with a small smirk.

"Thank you, Aphrodite. It wasn't too big of a deal," she said with a small giggle. It really was a big deal, but she didn't want to think of the case right now. She wanted to think of anything else, even if that was going to be impossible.

The three of them talked for a few more minutes before Aphrodite excused herself.

"I'm sorry, but I must step out for a moment."

Alex and MC nodded and watched as she left through a different hallway. However, MC's gaze lasted longer than it should have. She only broke out of it when Alex tapped her on the back of her head.

MC jumped and looked back at them with a smile. "Sorry, I was just stuck in my mind."

Their smile dropped. "MC, what's wrong?" Their playful demeanor was gone and replaced with a worried friend, something she really needed.

An excuse was at the tip of her tongue, but she knew they would see through it. They were one of her best friends, even if they had a level of professionalism add to it.

She shook her head and sighed. "It's stupid really."

They grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. "Nothing is stupid if it's bothering you this bad."

She squeezed back and let it go. "Yeah, I guess so. The problem is just too hard to explain." She began to pick at her fingers out of habit.

MC looked out into the crowd and saw all of the Gods and Goddesses enjoying their night. Many were drinking to their hearts content, some doing intense flirting, and some moving around the room to talk. She knew some of them by name, but most she had no clue about. However, as she watched the people move, she saw a blue blazer that looked familiar.

Zeus, the one and only, was coming in the room, and looking around at everyone. MC gasped quietly and looked away quickly. She looked towards the hallway Aphrodite used and thought about leaving.

"You can take a break if you need one, MC. No speeches or anything won't start for another ten minutes, alright?" Alex whispered to her.

MC looked at them and smiled. "Thank you. I'll be back before then. Hopefully, anyways." She let out a deep breath and left quickly.

.

She left the room and walked down the long, gold hallway, leading to an exit. She walked through the golden doors and was met with a path to an Olympic pool. She couldn't see well, so she hoped that Aphrodite was there.

She walked through the path and thought about what she would say.

"What do you say to the Goddess of Love?" She thought to herself. She hadn't spoken to Aphrodite on a personal level in so long. She forgot what it felt like to be comfortable around her.

Before she knew it, she was standing only a few feet away from the edge of the pool. Aphrodite was there, leaning against a column, and looking out into the distance. MC hesitated for a moment, but knew she needed to do this.

"Hi, Aphrodite," she said softly. She wanted to sound confident, but she sounded shaky.

Aphrodite turned around and smiled at seeing MC. "Hello, MC. Would you like to join me?"

MC nodded and walked to stand beside Aphrodite. They both looked out into the distance, but MC was the most captivated.

"It looks so beautiful here," she said as she looked at the beautiful sights in front of her.

"It really is. It always is nice to come here and think when it's too crowded," Aphrodite said.

"I've never seen it at night in a long, long time," MC said sadly. She didn't grow up on Olympus, but she saw it a few times. It always made her child eyes widen, and now it had that same effect.

Aphrodite was silent for a minute before she looked over at MC. "I know, and I'm glad you're here tonight. But I feel like it's not just to see the night-sights."

MC looked over at her and gave a small smile. "No, no I didn't. I came here for many things." She began to pick at her nails again. "I came to talk to you."

Aphrodite smiled and her eyes lit up. "I'm glad you decided to tell me on your own."

MC blushed. "You know everything, don't you?"

"I don't know just because of my abilities, I know because of how you've been acting tonight. And how a certain God has been acting."

MC's heart pounded as she thought of who that was. "Zeus has been acting weird, too?"

Aphrodite nodded and giggled. "He's not very good at being subtle. I just know something is wrong with you two."

MC looked back out into the distance. "There is, but I don't know how to explain it."

"Just try," Aphrodite said softly, doing her best to encourage MC.

MC took a minute to think of her words, and sighed. "Zeus got on my nerves for so long, and I got on his, too. He always made it very clear," she laughed. "But then we got...closer in a way. I kind of like his presence, I got more comfortable around him, and he did, too. He laughed at my jokes, began to listen to my opinion, and he began to care about what I think. He gave me these certain looks during the case and just made me feel special." MC's mood turned sour as she remembered why she was even talking about that.

"But when we got near the end of the case, he got agitated and didn't want to admit that I was helping him. We tried to keep it under control, but we argued really bad one day, and we haven't made up since then. It's just been these little touches and awkward looks."

It went silent between the two for a moment, but Aphrodite was quick to keep MC going.

"Do you think you love him?" She asked with a smile on her face.

MC closed her eyes and shrugged. "That's the thing. I don't know if I do or not. I haven't felt like this before. I never tried to."

Aphrodite tilted her head. "You never 'tried' to?"

"When my mom died, I kinda shut people out. I had friends, but we drifted apart because of how I was quiet and sad all the time. The only people who didn't leave me was my brother and Alex. I buried myself in studying, and didn't do any time with dating or feelings," MC shyly admitted.

Aphrodite's heart ached for a second at the mention of MC's mom. "I'm sorry to hear about that. But it's okay to be like this, to not know what you're doing. There's many people who don't know."

"That's really nice to hear," MC said with a relieved sigh.

"But you shouldn't just talk to me. You should talk to him, too."

"Yes, but how do I know if I do love him? How do I know if it's real or just a random crush?"

"That is a difficult thing to find out, and it's different for everyone, so I can't give you a concrete answer," Aphrodite said with sympathy.

"I didn't really expect one, but I just wanted to know if you think there's anything between us. If there's any possibility," MC pleaded.

Aphrodite turned to fully face MC and gently grabbed her shoulder. "Yes, I believe there's something there. You just need to pursue it."

MC looked over at Aphrodite with a worried look, but smiled after a minute. "Thank you. That's what I kinda needed."

"I'm here for you now. I'm sorry I wasn't for many years," Aphrodite said with regret.

MC struggled to find a response, so she repeated herself. "Thank you."

.

.

MC entered the room and squeezed through the crowd all the way to Alex. They were near the front of the room, so she had to say a lot of, 'excuse me's, but she made it.

She appeared next to them and tapped them on the shoulder. "I'm back. I hope I didn't miss anything."

Alex looked at her and smirked. "The only thing you missed were a few little drunk outbursts."

They both laughed quietly as the drunk Goddess finished her speech, but stopped when the next God appeared. It was the big and mighty Zeus. He looked out into the crowd and gave his cocky smile and began to do his speech. His eyes moved among the crowd as he talked and thanked everyone for their help, but then he met MC's eyes.

MC used to fear his gaze, used to hate the way he looked at her, but now she liked the attention and loved looking at his blue eyes. She didn't look away this time. She gave him a small smile.

He struggled to find his words, but he cleared his throat and began to continue.

"But I want to thank someone specifically. Agent MC [Last Name] was very helpful to solving this case," he said with his chest puffed out, as if he was proud for her.

MC's cheeks went really red when a few of the divines turned to look at her and clap, but she liked the appreciation.

Zeus continued on, but finished soon after. He gave one last look at MC before he excused himself and left the room.

Alex nudged her with their elbow. "You thinking about trouble?"

MC nodded. "Yeah, I think I am."

"You better get to it then. The night will be over before you know it."

MC thanked them and squeezed her way through the crowd and followed Zeus.

.

She got out into the gold hallway, and stood there.

"Oh. I don't know where he went actually," she thought.

"Are you looking for Zeus?"

MC looked down the hallway and saw an agent leave a room. He was locking it up, and when MC looked closer, he had Zeus's badge.

MC perked up and nodded. "Yes, I am! Do you happen to know where he is?"

The agent finished and walked to her with a smile. "Yes, he's back at his estate."

"Great, thank you!" MC began to walk away with a little bounce in her step.

"I'd be a little careful though. He seemed pretty tense when he made me lock up."

She should've turned around, but she didn't stop and only called out in response. "I will be! Take care!"

.

She walked down the path to his estate and finally got to the front door. That excitement was replaced with slight nervousness, but she wasn't going to let that stop her. She needed to talk to him and get everything set straight.

'It would hurt me a lot more if I didn't know where we stand at all.'

She pulled on the handle to find it unlocked, which surprised her.

'He usually doesn't leave the door unlocked. Was he in that much of a rush?'

She pushed the door open slowly and went inside. The lights were on and everything looked the same to her since she last been there, the only thing different were a few papers scattered on the coffee table in the living room. They were the size of flashcards and MC got curious.

She picked one of them up and sighed at what she saw. 'Of course it's not in English. I should've expected that.' She picked up the rest and saw that they all were in Greek. 'Maybe I can ask what they say.'

She placed them back on the table and looked around in the kitchen to find no one.

"Zeus? I wanted to talk," she called out as she walked towards the steps. She started to go up, but thought twice about it.

'I don't want him to think I'm snooping through his rooms or anything.'

She turned away and decided to leave the house. 'Maybe he's out in the backyard?'

She walked towards the front door and was about to open it, but someone opened it first. She stepped back to see Zeus looking at her with a shocked face.

"MC?"

"Yeah, it's me," she said slowly. She stepped back into the living room and watched as he closed the door and followed her.

She held her hands together against her stomach. "I wasn't snooping or anything. I came to talk to you and the door was unlocked, so I thought you were in here."

He smiled and shook his head. "It's okay, MC. I was just a little shocked that you were here. I didn't think you'd want to see me," he said with a small laugh.

"Well, I wanted to see you, so I could apologize and talk to you," she said shyly.

He tilted his head. "Apologize for what?"

Her eyes widened slightly. "For yelling at you and how our argument happened, and talk about other things."

He sighed and walked closer to her. He put his hands in his pockets and looked away. "You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one who has to apologize." He looked back at her. "I was acting irrational and I was extremely rude for no reason."

She laughed. "A little, but I was also angry and rude. I made it worse."

"You didn't make it worse. You made me realize something."

She smirked slightly. "What did I make you realize?"

He looked away for a moment before walking to the kitchen.

"Can you sit in the living room for a second? I'll get you a glass of water."

She felt a little confused, but just shrugged and sat down on the very comfortable couch. She looked at everything in the room, but her eyes kept going back to the little flashcards. After only a minute, he came back in the room and sat next to her. He had a glass of water. She thanked him and only took a sip before placing it on the coffee table.

She picked up one of the flashcards and showed it to him. "What are these for?"

His eyes widened for a moment before he looked away. "I was writing something."

"Don't worry, I can't read it, so if it's a big secret, then I don't know."

"I was trying to write an apology. I guess practice for it," he said quietly.

MC smirked as she noticed a blush on his face. "You were practicing an apology?"

"Yes, alright? I just wanted to get things right."

"Can you read it to me?"

He looked back at her and he stopped breathing for a moment. "It doesn't really make any sense."

MC's smirk grew and she leaned forward. "Just try for me. Please?" She cocked her head and did her best puppy eyes.

He sighed with defeat. "Fine." He took the card from her hand and placed it back on the table. "But I'd rather apologize on my own and not look at a paper." He grabbed her hand gently and composed himself before he spoke. "I wanted to apologize because of how I acted and how I didn't make up for it. I should've made up before all of this, but I didn't, and I'm sorry."

She hummed. "Well, I was stupid, too. I shouldn't have let myself get so angry, but I did, and I'm sorry, too." She squeezed his hand. "I accept your apology, but do you accept mine?"

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Yes, I do. I'm surprised that you can forgive me for that."

"You're not that bad. At least not to me," she said shyly. She wanted to cover her face, but she held back. His gaze still felt heavy to her.

He cleared his throat. "Well, what was the other thing you wanted to talk about?"

She tilted her head and gave him a smile. "I wanted to talk about us, if that's alright," she said slowly.

Despite his attempt, a blush spread across his face. "Do you want me to start?"

She shook her head. "No, I want to." She cleared her throat and looked down at their hands. "We didn't get along, which was very clear, but you opened up to me, and I opened up to you. Slowly, I began to care about you, but I pushed it away. I thought it was wrong and that you would shame me for it. I thought I was doing good, but then we argued and didn't make up. I felt really upset when we didn't act like we used too, but I kept pushing it off. But tonight, I realized that I love you."

Zeus's eyes widened and he gasped quietly. He opened his mouth multiple times as he tried to put his words together, but he didn't know how to respond.

MC looked up and her heart dropped at his silence. "It's okay if you don't feel the same at all and we can ignore this or anything if you want-"

"No," he said with a firm tone.

She looked at the ground and nodded. "I see. I'm sorry then."

He tilted her chin up so she would look at him. "No, I mean, I feel the same," he said softly.

MC leaned in closer. "Really?"

He laughed at her excitement. "Yes, really. You're not that bad either."

She flipped her hair back. "I'm glad you finally noticed."

He nodded. "I'm glad, too. It'd be a shame if I didn't."

She smirked and scooted closer. "Why would it be such a shame?"

He leaned closer. "Because you're a beautiful, amazing, and smart woman."

"Can I kiss you?" She was only a few inches away, but waited for permission.

And Zeus didn't hesitate. "Of course."

MC leaned in and finally did something she'd been thinking of.

She kissed him and he kissed back. It wasn't a random daydream, it was a reality.

She really was getting it with the King of the Gods. It sounded so unreal in her mind, but it was real.

After a few moments, they pulled away, but not far. They were barely an inch apart.

"I love you, Zeus," she said with all of her heart.

Zeus's cheeks were instantly warm at her words. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she immediately responded.

"That's good, because I love you, too," he said with a smirk.

They both leaned in again and let it last this time. He wanted to get more of her, and she wanted more of him. They pulled away, only to go in for more again, and again, and again. It felt like they couldn't get enough of each other.

"Can we take this somewhere else?" She asked him in between kisses.

He pulled away and laughed. "Anywhere you want."

MC pulled on his tie gently. "Lead me to the bedroom, your majesty," she said in a suggestive voice.

Zeus smirked. "Yes, ma'am."

.

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Anyways, yes my Zeus has a kink for being called king in bed-

BUT YEAH!!! I hope you like thisss. I've been thinking on it for awhile, but it's just been difficult to write!! I like it and sorry if sometimes it seems bad. I just suck with writing in the right tense lol. Sometimes it sounds like its in first person, other times it might be second person, but most of the time (hopefully) it's third person.

Anyways, I hope you, Meg and Wren, enjoyed and liked this!! I'd love some feedback! I love talking about Zeus :).

OH BTW!!! The ending was gonna be them getting interrupted by Hades but I changed my mind lol.

[sobsicles]

claire's not expecting them to be at the door. she blinks at the sight of four men all huddled on the stoop with flowers and what appears to be bags of food flowing from their arms. jack is peeking above a bouquet, beaming at her.

"who's at the door?!" jody calls from the kitchen, her voice muffled by the sound of grease popping and the clanking of pans and spatulas meeting over and over.

"god," claire calls back, because she likes to think she's funny.

there's a beat of silence, and then jody's sticking her head out the kitchen. the moment she sees them, she breaks out into a grin and saunters over, shoving the spatula in claire's hand as she chatters away.

"what's going on out there?" donna asks as claire escapes back to the kitchen to poke at food jody is apparently willing to burn just because the winchesters decided to show their faces today of all days.

"judgement day," claire says dryly.

donna shares a look with patience. "haven't we dealt with that already a few times?"

"only by association," claire admits, "but i wouldn't put it past them to bring it along with 'em now. the boys are here."

"oh, isn't that nice?" donna chirps, already popping up from her chair. "i didn't know they were stopping by today."

"wonder how sam's doing," patience agrees, wandering out the kitchen right along with donna. claire can hear everyone cracking up and talking in the living room.

trust the winchesters to shake things up just by showing up. can't have one goddamn day, can they? well, that's not true. in their case, as far as claire is concerned, they're shitty for showing up and shitty for not. someone has to knock 'em all down a peg or two, so she might as well be the one.

"what did that chicken ever do to you?" kaia asks teasingly as she sidles into the kitchen and stops by the stove, hip-checking claire out of the way to take over.

"the boys are here," claire informs her.

kaia raises her eyebrows. "like, the boys as in the winchesters, or is this a milkshake pun?"

"i can only be so gay, sweetheart," claire says, shooting her a flat look.

"raise the bar a little. could be gayer. you can always be gayer," kaia teases, reaching out to sneak her hand around claire's hip, her eyes bright with amusement.

"you know what? you're right," claire agrees and immediately tries to cop a feel while kaia laughs and dances out of range.

jack appears in the doorway. "hello," he says, whispering for some reason. "claire, i need your help."

"no," claire says, not even glancing at him. she continues to try and put her hand up kaia's shirt, just to see her laugh.

"can i borrow twenty dollars?" jack asks.

"no. aren't you god?"

"yes, but i don't get paid to be."

"well, sucks for you. borrow money from cas," claire mutters, settling in behind kaia as she focuses on the food on the stove, swatting lazily at claire's roaming hands.

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from sam."

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from—wait, why does it matter if it's from dean? just borrow from him."

jack huffs. "i can't. i need the money for dean. i have a card, and i read online it's customary to give money with a card. also, will you sign it?"

"you got dean a card?" claire asks, craning her head around to stare at jack skeptically.

"yes."

"don't tell me it's for what i think it is."

"mother's day," jack confirms unironically.

claire wheezes out a laugh. "oh my god."

"there's a pen in the catty on the fridge," kaia says, clearly amused.

"yeah. yeah, this is—yeah." claire chokes on more laughter and stumbles towards the group of pens in the magnet container on the fridge. she waggles her fingers at jack, clearing her throat, lips twitching. "hand it over, beanstalk. you're a fucking genius."

"oh! thank you," jack declares cheerfully, passing over the card. "so, can i borrow twenty dollars?"

"hell no," claire says. she braces the card against the fridge and swallows down a laugh. sam has already signed it. this just gets better and better. happy mother's day, old man, aka the secondary source of my mommy and daddy issues. you're going for gold with this double-whammy, she writes.

"but i need it," jack insists, staring at her with wide eyes.

claire shrugs. "tough break, kid. what, cas doesn't give you an allowance? is it just me, or are dads getting stricter these days?"

"i didn't think about it in advance," jack admits sadly. "i want to do it right for the holiday. it's mother's day, claire."

"i'm well aware. sorry to break it to you, kid, but last I checked, your mom's as dead as mine," claire tells him, her voice flat. he frowns and she forces herself not to feel bad. everything that sucks for him sucked for her first, so her sympathy levels are a little drained. "father's day will roll around eventually, and you've got a long line of those, so wait your turn."

"i've already done something for my mother today," jack says slowly, his eyebrows furrowed. "i visited her in heaven."

claire snorts derisively and passes the card back over. "must be nice."

"it was," jack agrees, completely missing the point. "i really can't borrow twenty dollars? i'll pay you back."

"nah," claire says. "who cares anyway? wait, why is dean the mom?"

"well, castiel is my father."

"ah, so it's about them having the hots for each other, then? really, kid, you coulda just made dean your step-dad."

jack blinks. "they have the...hots for each other? you mean sex. they have sex?"

"you know what?" claire points at him with her free hand. "i'm not gonna burst your bubble on that one. you've got enough issues on your own without wondering if mommy and daddy still have a spark, so I'm gonna leave that alone. i've got five dollars. take it or leave it."

"deal," jack says immediately.

money is exchanged, and jack looks like he's on cloud nine. claire's just stoked to see the expression on dean's face when he gets the card. it's a homemade card and everything, nothing like the two claire, kaia, patience, and alex got for jody and donna.

claire helps kaia finish up the chicken, which promptly gets set aside to wait on the rest of the food in the oven. sam wanders in at some point to drop off the food they brought. dessert, by the looks of it. pies and cakes that go in the fridge. it's kind of them, but claire would shoot herself in the foot before she ever admits it.

she lets kaia tug her into the living room where everyone is already at, rolling her eyes at how cheered everyone seems just because the winchesters happened to grace their doorstep. really, they all suck.

but also—and claire will never admit this, not even to save her own life—it's nice to see 'em again. it's nice that they've come to celebrate the day in jody and donna's name, giving them flowers and such. it's nice that they hang around for a bit and don't bring the world crashing down on everyone for the duration of their stay.

and, well, it's nice to see cas, too.

he perches up next to the couch that claire is squeezed on with alex, donna, kaia, and jack. kaia is practically in her lap, but claire is secretly glad for the excuse. while everyone talks and has conversations across one another, cas focuses entirely on her.

another thing claire will never admit is how reluctantly pleased by that she is. it warms her. stupidly, it turns soft and gooey in her chest that he automatically gives her his undivided attention over everyone else, even jack. but, then again, it's not cas' day, so she doesn't have to look too close to that feeling. it's mother's day, so it's not about him.

when the food is ready, they reconvene in the kitchen, and that's when they crack out the cards and gifts. claire is practically vibrating with laughter before jack has even brought his card out. before that, though, she smiles softly and strokes kaia's thigh under the table as jody and donna read their cards and chuckle at the messages, their gazes warm and their smiles sweet. they look happy. they deserve to be.

"okay, last one," claire announces, grinning at jack. she's starting to think she likes this kid if he's an agent of chaos like this.

and okay, maybe she hates him a little in abstract, but in detail, she finds that she does actually like him. you kinda just wanna put him in your pocket without meaning to, she's learned. there's too much to explore with the whole psuedo sibling thing and parents that aren't parents, as well as parents that are but didn't choose to be, only he did choose one of them, and it wasn't her. it's complicated, but underneath it all, there's a vibrant love there that she can't look directly at. sometimes, she despises that she's included in it; yet, just the same, she's thankful that she is.

"oh hell," dean mutters, swinging his gaze between alex and patience. "one of you...ya know? did we miss something?"

claire snorts.

"what? no," alex replies, grimacing. "i have no idea what claire's talking about. claire, what the hell are you talking about?"

"jack?" claire prompts in a wheeze.

"here you go," jack chirps, holding out the card to dean, beaming. "happy mother's day."

the expression on dean's face is somehow even better than claire imagined. she howls with laughter while sam buries his face in his hands, his shoulders jerking. cas squints at jack, and jody's eyebrows fly up at the same exact time that donna grins.

"is this a joke?" dean sputters.

"no, no, nope," claire chokes out, nearly fucking crying with laughter. "happy mother's day, dean."

"you gotta take it, man," sam agrees, clearing his throat and biting back a smile as he bobs his head dutifully towards the card.

dean fixes sam with a flat look and snatches the card. "you're all so fucking—sam, you signed it?!"

"happy mother's day," sam says, his mouth pinched, visibly trying not to laugh.

"do you like it?" jack asks earnestly. "i made the card, sam signed it first, and claire provided the money."

"i—" dean stares down at the card, then heaves a sigh and looks up at jack. it's clear to him that—out of everyone—jack is clearly taking this very seriously. he offers him a weak smile, then swallows. "yeah, s'great, kid. thank you. sam, you are dead to me. claire, i will be spending this on something you hate. cas, this is somehow your fault."

"yup, sounds like a mother to me," jody declares, holding up her beer with a smile.

"welcome to the club," donna agrees, holding hers up as well. "everyone else annoys the shit out of you, but you love 'em anyway."

dean sighs and clinks his beer to theirs.

[asm5129]

Life is Strange series: my thoughts on every game ❤️

Hopefully this also offers those with mixed or even negative feelings on one or two of them a potential new viewpoint.

________________________

Life is strange:

obviously this one has a special place in my heart. Beautiful, tragic, compelling, with just a hint of cringe haha. But seriously, there’s a reason this one’s a classic. Plus I’m always a sucker for time travel. Funnily enough my first playthrough I absolutely hated Chloe, and sacrificed her with little hesitation. However that changed a few years later thanks in large part to…

Life is Strange Before the Storm:

also known as the game that made me empathize with Chloe Price. I know there are many who dislike it, but this game will always mean a lot to me because i really understood Chloe’s pain through its narrative. So much so that when I played the original after finishing it I didn’t choose to save Arcadia Bay because I didn’t care for Chloe, but rather because I knew if I saved her it wouldn’t be for her sake. I’d be saddling her with extreme survivors guilt, having to live every day knowing the woman she loved let everyone they knew die for her to live—including her own mother. That’s the same pain she was going through with losing her dad, but on an exponentially larger scale. The only person who benefits from Chloe living is Max, and I couldn’t do that to her.

Y’all, whether you like this game or not that kind of transformation of opinion on a character only happens when writers do a good job on some level.

Life is Strange 2:

oof, this one is even more divisive than Before the Storm….but I love it. It was really brave for them to do this. I felt protective of Daniel as if he were my own little brother, and I wanted him to live a good life. They really made it feel like everything I did or said had an impact on him, so I really wanted to be a good influence. It choice of protagonist also shouldn’t be underestimated Usually, a male protagonists that takes care of someone is more like Joel in the last of us. They’re hardened, and violent, and they soften up through the game but they still are usually quite violent in the end. Sean is a man, a boy really, who has to grow into a more empathetic and mature person. In life is strange 2, surviving doesn’t mean learning how to fight because that won’t solve anything. No, surviving means learning to understand the value of the person in it with you; and that’s beautiful.

Life is Strange True Colors:

Okay this one is my favorite, I’ll be frank. Yes it has stuff in common with the original but let’s not pretend for a moment it’s a carbon copy. Alex is my favorite LiS protagonist, and Steph is my favorite LiS love interest (though Cassidy is great in LiS2). Alex’s power is visually, emotionally and narratively stunning, the community of Haven is spectacularly realized, the final chapter is beautifully recontextualizing and heartbreaking at once…and on a personal level, it helped me feel things I’d been avoiding. A spectacular culmination of what had been learned from the prior three games, revisiting elements to calm those upset with the direction of LiS2 while moving the series forward and proving to many that the future of life is strange is in good hands (issues with the remasters notwithstanding—I blame Square Enix and the fans who demanded they be released asap when clearly deck nine delayed them for a good reason)

[earnestly-endlessly]

Can I request all the Cherik Bodyguard AUs you have :)

Hi Anon, thanks for the ask. I have some good Bodyguard AUs for you. I wish there were more fics out there but these were the ones that I found. I hope you enjoy!!

Cherik Bodyguard AU

A Place to Fall – ikeracity

Summary: While being tasked to protect Charles Xavier, the annoyingly charming CEO of Xavier Pharmaceuticals, SHIELD agent Erik receives further orders to use Charles as a source of information to find and capture Professor X, the elusive leader of the renegade band of mutants called the X-Men. Of course, that's a rather difficult proposition, given that the man he's hunting is the same as the one he's trying to protect. And the fact that Erik's starting to find Charles more than a little attractive complicates everything.

Everything you know is wrong – aesc, pocky_slash

Summary: When Charles Xavier was five years old, he worshiped his father. When he was eleven, he learned to loathe his abusive stepfather. When he was sixteen, he gave up any claim on the family fortune just to escape. At twenty-four, he's moved away from home into a crappy, standard-issue graduate student house, and gone through his degree program with his best friend, Moira, by his side.

He's adjusted. He knows who he is and where he comes from and what his future holds. At least, until a stranger in a bathrobe shows up in his living room, having used his shower, eaten his lunch and, oh yes, broken in uninvited. Suddenly, everything Charles knows to be true about himself may turn out to be wrong, and his future and past both may be more dangerous than he ever could have imagined.

Watch your back – swoopswoop

Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.

Same time tomorrow – cloudstroke (aQuired)

Summary: After being bailed out of prison, the first thing Erik's told is that he must commit another murder.

Which, under the ruse of a noble bodyguard, should've been simple.

But then he learns just how much the sweater-vest wearing teenager means to him, and it's a damning pity that some things are just easier said than done.

Interference – Thire

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr doesn't like the fraudulent nature of psychics (there's no such thing). His mother died believing she was receiving help from not one, but two. Thing is, when his boss asks for a favour he can hardly say no. As professional and good as he is at his job, babysitting one Charles Xavier may just be the thing he needs on his resume to boost his career in security.

Limited Release – rageprufrock

Summary: When Alex Summers broke out of supermax to rescue his stupid kid brother, he had no idea it was going to be so fucking complicated.

This Family comes with Batteries – Fishwrites, lynneh

Summary: An orphaned Charles Xavier goes to live with his Godfather: Tony Stark. This story is a tale of what would have happened to the events of MCU, if Tony was raising a six year old telepath in Stark Tower. There is also the matter of Charles' robot AI manny/bodyguard/tutor/only-friend, David.

AU-gust Challenge (Bodyguard AU) - gerec

Summary: Erik tells Dr. Xavier about a life altering decision

Cherik Bodyguard AU – lyricfulloflight

Summary: This is a modern, AU, non-powered fic.  Erik is a former military man turned bodyguard, Charles is an actor.

Love Won’t Save You – TurtleTotem

Summary: Guarding Charles has been Logan's purpose for over half his life. Now, with the twins to protect, an Empire to fight, and the love of Charles's life turned to the Dark Side, they have only each other to lean on. Can Logan ever be enough?

Notes: Includes both cherik and xavierine so if you’re not fond of that ship then you might want to skip this one.

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!

[michaels-blackhat]

thoughts on evil Forrest 😈

We are going to start out by apologizing. This is very very late. I’m sure when you sent this ask, you meant it to be in the same joking tone that I approach all of my other propaganda posts. Sadly, this is actually going to be a deep dive into a few Evil Forrest related things, including the moment I feel they changed directions, the perfect wasted build-up, and the implications of the change/how it then negatively impacted the story. As I’m sure you already know, by being on my blog at all, I don’t think the story was good to begin with, so we are going to focus on the weird hoops they made themselves jump through to make that story still work. Additionally, I am only going to mention once, right now, how much of a waste it was to not have Forrest ‘fall for his mark’ and complete one of my absolute favorite tropes. Honestly, I think “because I want it” is a completely valid reason to like Evil Forrest. But, the question was “Thoughts on Evil Forrest” and these thoughts have been developing for over a year and a half. So, I apologize in advance.

The majority of this is under a cut, with highlights in the abstract. If no one wants to read this, I understand completely. Go ahead, skip it.

Note: it pains me greatly to not actually have full sources for this essay. Just know that in my heart I am using proper APA citations, I just absolutely do not feel like digging through tweets to find sources to properly cite.

Abstract:

Previous research indicates that Roswell New Mexico has a history of repeating excuses to explain mid-season changes to plots. This essay explores how those excuses are not only loads of crap, but how they hinder the show’s ability to tell a coherent story, misuse the multiple-plot structure to enhance the themes being explored, and lead to decisions that mean the show continuously goes over budget. This also means that characters are not used to their full potential and has led to what some fans consider to be “out of character” behaviors. While these behaviors are not universally agreed on, evidence can be shown that these behaviors directly contradict emotionally important character arc/plot points in the show.

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitment because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

The concept of Evil Forrest has been with the fandom as early as New York Comic Con (NYCC) in 2019, when it was revealed that Alex had a new “blue-haired love interest”. Speculation abounded within the fandom, with some people, including the author, going “yeah, he’s evil” while others rejoiced in the concept of Alex having a loving partner. Speculation increased as fans discussed Tyler Blackburn’s seeming disinterest in his new love interest, prompting some once again to scream “EVIL” at the top of their lungs to anyone who would listen. Very little was revealed, beyond the fact that the new character would show up somewhere around episode 3 of the second season.

Episode 2.04 aired with some commenting on how he barely interacted with Alex- prompting more evil speculation- and others excited to see the characters interact more. The character appears again in 2.06, where he invites Alex to dubious spoken word poetry (which Alex attends); 2.08, where they have a paintball date and go to The Wild Pony; 2.10, where the two are seen writing together briefly at the beginning of the episode; and 2.13, where Alex performs his song at open mic night, tells Forrest his relationship with the person in the song was long over, and they kiss. Forrest was not revealed to be evil during season 2.

Amidst the season airing, Word of God via Twitter post announced that yes, Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, though not the main villain, but it was changed as filming progressed.

The Word of God Twitter post revealed that Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, but they decided that they could not make their “blue-haired gay man” a villain. This mirrors a similar situation and excuse used the previous season, where the character of Jenna Cameron was originally planned to work with Jesse Manes against the aliens, before it was changed because they just “loved Riley [the actress] too much”. Both of these examples occurred while already filming and reflect on a larger problem with the show. Though not the topic of this essay, it is important to note that both characters are white, both in the show and by virtue of being played by white actors. The fact that they couldn’t be villains for one reason or another is not a courtesy extended to the male villains who are all the most visibly brown, and thus ‘other’, members of the cast.

This also highlights the fact that, via Twitter, it has been revealed two other times that occurrences that were reported in season 1 also occurred in season 2. During the airing of episode 1.02, it was revealed that the single best build-up of tension in the show- when Alex walks to the Airstream not saying a word to Michael after a dramatic declaration- happened because one actor was sick at the time and they had to go back and film the kisses later. At the point of airing for episode 2.08, it was revealed that one of the actors were sick and unable to film a kissing scene. Allegedly, this caused the writers to retool the entire scene and deviate from the plan to make that subplot about Coming Out. The execution of this subplot will be explored later in this essay.

The last occurrence revealed via Twitter also revealed larger issues within the show: lack of planning and poor budgeting. During the airing of season 1, Tyler Blackburn was needed for an extra episode beyond his contracted 10. A full explanation was never given, but speculation about poor planning and to fill in because Heather Hemmens had to miss one of her 10 episodes due to scheduling conflicts for another project. During the airing of season 2, yet another tweet came out saying they made a mistake and Tyler would once again be in an additional episode. No explanations beyond “a mistake” were given, though once again speculation occurred. It is the opinion of the author that this was due to changing plot points over halfway through writing, while episodes were already in production. It has been speculated by some that these changes occurred during the writing of 2.08, which was being finished/pre-production was occurring roughly around the time of NYCC 2019.

Previous Literature:

A brief look at different theories of plots and subplots

Many people have written on the subject of plotting, for novels and screen alike. The author is more familiar with film writing than tv, but a lot of the concepts carry over. Largely, the B- and C- (and D- and E-… etc) plots should reinforce the theme of the A-plot. This can be through the use of a negative example, where the antithesis of the theme is explored to reinforce the theme presented by the A plot, or through other examples of the theme, generally on a small scale.

A movie example of this would be Hidden Figures (2016), where the A-plot explores how race and gender impact the main character (Katherine Johnson) in her new job. The B-plots explore the other characters navigating the same concepts in different settings and ways- learning a new skill as to not become obsolete and breaking boundaries there (Dorothy Vaugn) and being the first black woman to complete a specific degree program and the fight it took to get there (Mary Jackson). A TV example that utilizes this concept of plot and theme is the 911 shows. Each of the rescues in a given episode will directly relate to the overall theme of the episode and the overall plot for the focus character. This example is extremely blunt. It does not use any tools to hide the connection, to the point you can often guess the outcome for that A-plot fairly quickly.

This is not the only way to explore themes within visual media. Moonlight (2016) looks at three timestamps in the life of Chiron. Each timestamp has a plot even if they feel more like individual scenes or moments rather than plots as some are more used to in films. Each time stamp deals with rejection, isolation, connection, and acceptance in different ways. So while there is no clear A-, B-, or C-Plot, each time stamp works as their own A-Plot to explore the themes in a variety of ways, particularly by starting out in a place of rejection and moving to acceptance or a place of connection to isolation.

Please note that there are many ways to write multiple plots, there are just two examples.

While there are flaws within season 1 of RNM, overall the themes stayed consistent throughout the season, mainly the theme of alienation. The theme threads through the Alien’s isolation/alienation from humanity which is particularly seen through Michael’s unwillingness to participate and Isobel’s over participation. There is Rosa’s isolation from others, how her friendship with “Isobel” ended up compounding her existing alienation from her support system due to her mental illness and coping mechanisms. We see how Max and Liz couldn’t make connections. This theme presented itself over and over in season 1. While this essay is not an exploration of the breakdown of themes in season 2, it should be noted that there were some threads that followed throughout the season. The theme of mothers/motherhood was woven throughout season 2, with some elements more effective than others. Please contact the author for additional thoughts on Helena Ortecho and revenge plots.

One of the largest problems within season 2 was the sheer number of plots jammed into the season. These plot threads often ended up hindering the effectiveness of the themes and made the coherence of the season suffer. Additionally, a lot of them were convoluted and difficult to follow.

Thesis:

Essentially, season 2 was a mess. To look at it holistically is almost an exercise in futility. Either you grow angry about the dropped plots and premises, you hand wave them off, or you fill them in for yourself. Instead, this essay proposes to look at individual elements to explain why Forrest should have stayed evil.

We first meet Forrest in 2.04 when he is introduced on the Long Family Farm, which we later learn was the location where our past alien protagonists had their final standoff. He’s introduced. He’s largely just there. The audience learns he has more of a history with Michael. In 2.06, we meet him again with his dog Buffy (note: poor Buffy has not been seen again and we miss a chunky queen). There’s mild flirting, Alex is invited to an open mic night, which he attends. For the purpose of this essay, the author’s thoughts on the poetry will not be expressed. Readers can take a guess.

It is after this point that the author speculates the Decision was made. This choice to make Forrest not evil- paired with the aforementioned ‘can’t kiss, someone’s sick’- impacted the plot. We have Alex have a scene with his father- which the author believes could have been pushed to a different episode- and then have Alex go on a date and then not kiss Forrest at the end of the night. Here, the audience sees Forrest hit Alex in the leg, allegedly not knowing he had lost his leg despite ‘looking him up’, which parallels the shot to the leg that happens to Charlie. Besides wasting this ABSOLUTELY TEXTBOOK SET UP WTF, it also takes Alex away from the main plot and then forces a new plot for him. Up to this point, Alex’s plot was discovering more about the crash and his family’s involvement. Turning Alex’s date from a setup for evil Forrest to a Coming Out story adds yet another plot thread to a packed season. It is also the author’s thought that this is where the convoluted kidnapping plot comes in. With Forrest already in 2.10 for a moment, a plot where Alex is evil has Forrest attack him for Deep Sky rather than Jesse abduct him for a piece of alien glass Alex was going to give him anyway and then for Flint to abduct Alex from Jesse. It’s messy. In a bad way. Evil Forrest would have been a cleaner set up: no taking back a piece of alien glass Alex gave to Michael in a touching moment. No double abduction. Instead, there is only Forrest, who Alex trusts, breaking that trust to take him as leverage over Michael.

Implications:

Now, Alex has two plots (Tripp & Coming Out). The Coming Out plot is largely ineffective, as they are only relevant to scenes with Forrest and have the undercurrent of there only being a certain acceptable way to be out. This could have been used for Alex to discover his comfort levels, mirroring Isobel’s self discovery, but there was not enough screen time for that. Additionally, Isobel’s coming out story was about her allowing herself the freedom to explore. Alex’s story was about the freedom to… act like this dude wanted him to. Alex’s internalized homophobia played out often in the series but it was also informed by the violence he experienced at Jesse’s hands and the literal hate crime he and his high school boyfriend experienced. With that in mind, the “kissing to piss off bigots” line comes off poorly. This is a character who experienced what a pissed off bigot could do- reluctance to kiss in public is not the same as not being out. There is more to be said on this topic, but as it is not actually the focus of the essay, it will be put on hold. To surmise: Alex’s coming out is attempted to be framed as being himself, but it is actually the conformity to someone else’s ideals. It does not work as an antithetical to Isobel’s story, as the framing indicates that the conformity/right was to be out contradicts Isobel’s theme.

Further Research:

MAKE FORREST EVIL YOU COWARDS

Author Acknowledgements:

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitement because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

[creativeashproductions]

What If...? III // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: The aftermath of both the car accident and the proposal is something Luke struggles with dividing you two for the first time. With an ultimatum in place Luke finds himself standing in front of his childhood home but can he open the door he had locked and shut?

Warning: Swearing, talk of injuries, self-guilt, angst, Unsaid Emily (I’m a terrible person), and fluff (I SWEAR THERE IS FLUFF IN THIS)

Words: 4.0k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog . There will be two more parts at least.

A/N: Grammarly estimates that this will take a little over 15 minutes to read. I also almost made you not get an answer to a make or break question somewhere in here but I wanted to make up for the cliffhanger in part one.

*Bobby’s last name in this is Willis, it will come clear why soon.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist (other parts for What If can be found in the masterlist)

(This goddamn shirt is also a warning holy christ)

Hollywood 1996

Life after the car accident was strange, to say the least. You lived with the guilt that your father couldn’t pick up a guitar. He had severely broken his arm in the crash in the instinctive moment to protect you. Your mother hovered, and Luke was there, but something changed since his hospital proposal.

There was a weird tension between you and him that concerned Alex because Luke wouldn’t talk about it. He would change the subject whenever Alex inquired about that empty ring box he found. Luke hadn’t told the guys he planned to propose and being rejected wasn’t something he wanted to share. However, one night he finally did.

“You could propose at the Eiffel Tower!” Reggie suggested having seen a commercial with the tower in the background. His excitement was visible to the band members in the living room.

 “Too cheesy.” Luke grumbled, rolling his eyes slouching down on the couch, “I’m not proposing.”

“I understand it’s a big step b-“

“I’m not proposing because I already did.” Luke snapped running hand through his messy hair with a glower. Alex was quiet, taking in the news and watching Luke’s body language.

“Oh congrat-“

“Read the damn room.” Luke snapped, slamming his pen on the coffee table as he stalked up the stairs to his bedroom. The resounding slam of his door marking his anger more prominent. Alex flinched at the sound.

“Was it something-“

“Seriously man?” Alex groaned, shaking his head at the bassist standing up from the armchair leaving the bassist the lone sitter, “You are so lucky you can play bass.”

Alex left Reggie downstairs to enter Luke’s room where he was throwing darts at the board harshly. Luke didn’t need to turn around to know Alex was in his personal place with one goal in mind, to cheer his bandmate up.

“What happened?” Alex asked, sitting in the second-hand office chair with a hole in the seat. His blue eyes watching the jerky movements from the obviously frustrated guitarist.

“She said no.” Luke whispered, rubbing a hand over his weary hazel eyes, more of a blue with the sadness he felt, “I proposed, and she said no.”

“I’m sorry. Did Y/N say why?” Alex hesitated to ask the question fearing Luke would fully snap as he had down a few times in the past. The one time was when he found Alex crying as an asshole overheard Alex admit to his crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas after seeing him on Home Improvement. Courtesy of Luke, that asshole never breathed a word about it.

“An ultimatum. She won’t say yes until I fix things with my parents.” Luke sighed collapsing onto his bed, staring at the blue ceiling. Going back home after hurting his mom was something hard to do.

The night he left had been filled with a lot of words he regretted saying, he can’t even remember the last time he told his mom he loved her. The last time dinner hadn’t been tense and filled with anger. There was a pang of deep guilt for running out on his family, his mother and seeing the missing person posters further hammered the guilt in.

“She has a point.” Alex admitted, “We made it. We proved to our parents that this band was worth it. Take it from me. I would give anything for my parents to be the way they were before I told them I’m gay.”

Luke was quiet.

“You have a chance to fix things and Luke, that’s something you’ll regret. Remember the night of The Orpheum? We were gonna get street dogs? If we had, we would have died man.”

“I guess we got lucky?” Luke half-smiled remembering when they had been walking near the Orpheum a few days after performing.

The guy that sold the street dogs was arrested, and an ambulance was taking a couple to the hospital. The couple died, and it made the guys think how close they could have come to dying all the times they ate out of the Oldsmobile.

“We did. She loves you, Luke, but if you love her. You’ll reach out to your parents. I know they would love it.” Alex spoke, squeezing his best friends’ shoulder before he let himself out of the bedroom.

Alex joined Reggie in the living room watching a VHS they had rented from Blockbuster this morning. A smile appearing on Alex’s face as the muted familiar sound of a guitar came from upstairs. The sad melody Luke had taught his band playing.

“So, what year do you think we should release a country album? I can play the banjo.” Reggie asked, looking over at Alex with a thoughtful expression, “I’ve been writing this wicked song. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Home is Where My Horse Is’? How long would it take you to learn how to fiddle?”

“Reggie. I love you man, but I am not gonna be barefoot in overalls fiddling.” Alex spoke, shaking his head at his bandmate who pouted softly.

Alex and Reggie fell asleep on the couch that night while Luke worked tirelessly through the night on Unsaid Emily. It was by far the most personal song he had ever written, but it was the only way he could release the feelings he had. By the time morning came, his eyes had turned bloodshot and swollen.

Luke’s hands trembled at the sight of the childhood home he hadn’t been inside in months, not since that cold December night he left. The car was parked in the very same spot with the front bumper still dinged from when Luke was practising for his license.

Luke had developed a streak to avoid the bitter taste of disappointment from his parents. He would sneak out to gigs or little known locations with Alex; either for the band and his secret relationship. Luke never breathed a word of the relationship for the safety of Alex and avoid anything that would spike his boyfriend’s anxiety. The guilt died down when he and Alex mutually decided to be friends instead, but the band topic was different. At fourteen it was becoming apparent to Luke’s parents that this band wasn’t a hobby to him anymore, the first time his parents regretted buying the guitar.

“C’mon!” Bobby hissed from the safety of the curb. Luke was behind the wheel of his family’s station wagon in the dead of night. Reggie stationed in front of the car and Alex behind it, “This is stupid guys!”

Luke shakily took a breath in putting the car in drive to align with Reggie before he placed the vehicle in reverse. Learning to parallel park seemed to be going well as Luke did okay pulling into the parking spot. He got ahead of himself; however, when he moved to drive forward to center between Reggie and Alex. He may have hit the gas too hard.

“Ah!” Reggie screamed as the car bumped in him in the leg. The boy went down shuddering while his three friends hurried to his side.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked not minding the sting of the asphalt on his covered knees seeing as he just hit his best friend.

“I’m good.” Reggie raised one thumb in the air. Each boy leaned back in relief confirming the bassist was as good as Reginald could be.

 “Why the hell didn’t you move out of the way?” Luke demanded helping the boy up from the ground with a deep frown.

 “I was a traffic cone. Cones can’t move unless they get moved.” Reggie proudly announced with his typical oblivious attitude. Reggie wasn’t stupid, he was definitely the comedic relief in the band and prided himself on it.

“I-what. Okay..” Alex whispered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Sometimes I don’t know Reg.”

Reggie shrugged it off while a familiar girl jogged down the road with a furrowed brow, a girl that had lived in Luke’s neighbourhood for a while. She was moving to a bigger house soon, but she was an acquaintance that had never acknowledged the group.

“Are you okay?” The girl, you, questioned the bassist scanning him over as Luke stared dreamily at her. His ever-changing eye colour turning a soft mossy green at the girl that had held his heart for years; only temporarily vacating it for Alex.

“Oh, totally. This doesn’t hurt as much as the amp.” Reggie supplied waving it off whereas you were more worried the guy hit his head. Your gaze scanned the boys of Riot Curve. A deep developing on the pale cheeks of the Patterson boy.

“Aren’t you guys in my grade?” You questioned pursing your lips together, “You’d be like thirteen. Why are you driving? Aren’t you a little short to see over the steering wheel?”

A bark of laughter fell from Bobby Willis’ mouth, earning him a glance from you, closing his mouth as Luke’s look of disgust.

“I’m not short!” Luke shouted, “I’ll have you know I grew!”

You snickered at his offended expression, “Dude, I’m joking. You’ll get a growth spurt soon. Besides, I think you have bigger issues than your vertical challenge.”

A question fell from Luke’s lips before he followed your view. The bumper of his parent’s car had a small dent that his father would most definitely discover at some point.

“Oh, I am dead meat.” Luke sprouted just before the guys started brainstorming explanations that didn’t include four fourteen-year-old boys out after curfew driving.

“Hey, I have a little experience with bands and whatnot. Just a suggestion, maybe consider changing your band name from Riot Curve to something else.” You suggested starting to jog back to your house, “See you in class!”

Luke once again stared dreamily after your form forgetting what he should be worried about.

“Our name is already-“

“Sunset Curve.” Luke shouted, earning weird looks from his bandmates at the rather uncharacteristic change of mind, “We are renaming the band.”

“Why?” Bobby scoffed, “We agreed on Riot Curve!”

“Uh, no. You two did. Reggie and I weren’t there.” Alex raised one his eyebrows facing Bobby, “I was sick with the flu, and Reggie was at his aunt’s second wedding.”

“Why the name?” Reggie asked his pining lead singer flicking his gaze between Luke and the empty place where you had been.

“Because that was the first time, she talked to me. A sunset behind her brightening the pretty curve of her smile.” Luke sighed scrambling when the front step light at his house turned on. Each boy running for the safety from the Patterson windows.

“I like the name! I didn’t like the violence in the other name!” Alex shouted, rushing towards his bicycle to head back home. 

That was also the last time Luke saw you until 1993 at that concert as you moved to the medium-sized mansion by then.

Luke grinned at the memory of how he actually spoke to the girl of his dreams before everything went full to shit. Reggie’s parents started fighting, Bobby grew more into girls than music, Alex told his parents he was gay. Luke finally sat down with his parents telling him that he wouldn’t go to college and didn’t want to finish high school. He did finish high school to appease his parents even after running away.

“Luke?” The breathless question brought the guitarist back to the present time and to the blue eyes of his father. The shock on the man’s face preceding the tears building up, “Son.”

“Hon?” Luke’s knees collapsed as he heard the soft voice that had read him stories and sung lullabies when he was a child. Emily gasped as she saw the one person she had wished to find for so long, “Luke.”

“Mom.” Luke choked, raising his hands to press them to his face, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t-“

“Sh. Baby.” Emily wasted no time in scooping her son into her arms, so thankful nothing terrible had happened to him. She didn’t care where or what he had been doing as long as he in her arms again.

A hand clapped his shoulder to squeeze, announcing his father silently thanking whatever God there was for bringing his son home. That they didn’t have to worry blue and red lights would precede news no parent wanted to hear.

“Can I come in?” Luke asked tentatively. A soft hand brushing his hair away from his eyes for his parents to finally see the unique eye colour their son had inherited.

Emily ushered her son into the kitchen that hadn’t changed in the time Luke had been gone, the only difference being the Christmas decorations put away. They would reappear the last week of November; Emily wouldn’t have to struggle to put the ornaments on the tree without her son.

“I don’t know how to say what I want. Could I…could I sing please?” Luke murmured to his parents. It was a question he wasn’t sure he wanted to be answered. He hadn’t brought his guitar just in case it was the wrong move. His parents regretted buying him that guitar.

“Of course.” Mitch spoke, climbing to his height, “Just one moment.”

Luke watched his father leave the kitchen only to shortly return, holding a beautiful acoustic guitar. He had never seen it in his life either. He was confused when Mitch set the guitar into Luke’s lap.

“You’re like your mom. When she worries the only thing that can help calm her is knitting. I figured the guitar is your way of knitting.” Mitch calmly told his son choosing to not bright attention to tears in either of the Patterson men’s eyes.

Luke settled on the couch in the living room while Mitch and Emily took to their respective long known spots. Ones that faced the windows perfect for knitting and reading with natural light. Emily reached over to hold her husband’s hand while Luke started strumming.

First things first

We start the scene in reverse.

 All of the lines rehearsed.

 Disappeared from my mind

When things got loud

 One of us running out

 I should have turned around.

 But I had too much pride.

No time for goodbyes

 Didn’t get to apologize

 Pieces of a clock that lies broken

Not a dry eye in the Patterson home as Luke gave the best performance of his life. Performance didn’t build a bridge between him and his parents, why make a new bridge when the first one only needs repairs.

“Please record that.” Emily choked wiping her face of tears, “I want that on your first album, I loved it. I’m going to buy the first CD it’s on.”

Luke Patterson smiled a piece instead of healing at her words and the acceptance he had craved. Now he just had to propose again.

The cosy soft knit blanket Emily gave you at Christmas the first time you met Luke’s parents when it became clear that the relationship was serious. It was one that you cuddled into for a sense of comfort, eyes focused on the demo the song was waiting. Fingers itching to put in the CD player and listen to the finished product.

“Hey. Sweetheart you gotta stop blaming yourself.” Lance spoke coming to sit beside you on the piano bench. The bench you had learnt how to play directly across from the couch that you spent hours with him on learning the guitar.

“How can I? I asked for a ride, and you might never play again.” You scoffed, bringing your knees to your chest. Lance’s heart broke, hearing the guilt leaking from your words and the slump on your shoulders.

“I picked you up because I love you. You’re my daughter, my baby and I’m gonna tell you something that hope knocks some sense in that head.” Your Dad sternly spoke, taking your hand to place on his cast, “This? This doesn’t matter. If I hadn’t done this, you would be dead, and I wouldn’t be able to hold a guitar because you wouldn’t get to hear me play. I’d rather not be able to play and have my daughter alive.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks as your hero wiped your tears tugging you in his arms, “Besides I’m a Y/L/N, we don’t let other people tell us how to live.”

Lance leaned over to insert the CD into the machine before pressing play bringing a soft melody in the room. You snuggled into his side as his rich voice broke through into the most beautiful song you had ever heard. Unbeknownst to you, Luke stood in the doorway with his bandmates listening to the gorgeous record.

“I love it.” You whispered glancing over your shoulder, feeling the gaze of someone, and while you expected your mother, the sight was welcome. Not a dry eye in the room as the last chord rang with the joyful voice of a little girl; your voice from a family video.

“That’s beautiful.” Luke breathed grinning when you swiftly made your way into his open arms, “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you like I should have been. I was hurt, and I didn’t want you to see that.”

“Was that the song that was playing- OW!” Reggie exclaimed rubbing the back of his head that Bobby had thumped. The bassist grimacing at the pain clueing that it wasn’t the greatest question he had said.

“Bittersweet was the song playing. This is the finished product.” Lance confirmed standing to his full height, “How about I let you see some unreleased songs?”

Lance ushered everyone but you and Luke from the room for privacy only winking before closing the door. Luke breathed out, leading you back to the couch with his hands squeezing your own.

“You were right,” Luke announced brushing the pad of his thumb under your eye to swipe an eyelash. His hazel eyes showing more of the green with the adoration gleaming from them, “It hurt being rejected but you were right about it. I hurt my parents by running out one them, especially my mom. I don’t want to hurt her more by excluding her from the biggest moment of my life.”

Your own hand raised to cup his cheek heart bursting when Luke turned his head to press a chaste kiss to the palm.

“You couldn’t guess how much it ached telling you no. I wanted to so badly, but your mom was always so good to me. I didn’t want her to miss out on anything.”

“She won’t miss out.” Luke replied, tugging you to your feet, “I went home, and we talked it through.”

Your feet cemented to the floor, “You went to see them?”

“I did. I was no sure Mom and Dad hated me for running away, for choosing music over them.”

“You didn’t choose music over them, Lu. You made a decision that they didn’t like, but you did what you were raised to do. They taught you to stand up for yourself, never second guess or quit.” You passionately told him, “They love you with their whole heart, they just didn’t understand how important music is to you at the time.”

“God, I love you so much. I would do anything for you.” Luke tugged you into his arms, bringing your attention to his different outfit choice.

He was wearing his best black jeans with no holes but still the chains, but his wallet wasn’t on display. His lucky blue rabbit’s foot was clipped to his necklace laying over the long sleeve purple corduroy shirt. The shirt he wore a lot when he wanted to be wanted to a little more dressed up.

“You’re wearing that shirt.” You stated glancing up to the boy, “And your lucky rabbit’s foot is not on your chains.”

Luke smirked, leading you through the house to the backyard where Luke had asked Nancy to be. Your mother sat at the piano with your father beside her, Nancy and Lance Y/L/N hadn’t sat at a piano together since you were tiny. Tears built up as Luke gently brought you into his arms entirely in time with the notes that Nancy began.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

 “Are you trying to make me cry?” You choked as he used the dance lessons he took with his mom twirling you around. As if you couldn’t cry more your gaze found Reggie strumming the acoustic guitar. Alex waiting at his drums with a grin at Luke and you.

I have died every day, waiting for you.

Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years.

I’ll love you for a thousand more.

Everything faded as you two gazed into each other’s eyes, in his you swore you saw every moment with Luke play. The sweaty palms shy to hold each other to the first kiss, the second kiss, sharing the most vulnerable time at sixteen, his serenading at seventeen after signing with a label and everything between those precious moments.

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything, take away.

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this.

Bobby made his presence known harmonizing with you mom so low you barely heard, but it was Luke singing that enthralled you. Everything about this moment you would remember for the rest of your life.

The music faded as Luke took a step back to kneel down in front of you with the ring he had yearned to give you. The ring his mother had held on to for the girl Luke would fall in love with. She had given it a few days previous so thoroughly happy she got the opportunity to pass it down.

“Luke.” You breathed cupping your hands, one still in a brace, over your shocked face. His expression softened into the most loving one you had ever receiving in the years you had been together.

“My life has been leading me to this very moment. I believe that I was guided into music because of this absolutely perfect moment. Surrounded by the people who cheered us on and gave wisdom. The people that gave us a look at what true love is supposed to be.” Luke began keeping his entire focus on the love his life, “I knew about you before you knew me. I was ten when I saw you during recess sitting up against the tree with your walkman. I fell for you at that moment, but it wasn’t until I hit Reggie with the car that I got to talk to you.”

You giggled as you remembered running to a group of guys after seeing one get hit. If only you knew who they were at that time.

“Our first real conversation was at a concert, and I fell in love at that moment, and I am so thankful you gave me a chance. There isn’t anyone else, sorry, Alex!” Luke teased over his shoulder, earning a chuckle in response, “There isn’t anyone I want to spend my life with. You are my muse, the person I share every lyric with, my love and my soulmate.”

“Luke.” You choked reaching up to cup his cheeks so close not a single sheet of paper would move between you.

“Will you marry me? In front of our parents and our friends?” Luke shakily questioned begging for his rabbit’s foot to work with it being close to his heart.

“Yes.” You answered, reaching up to pull his face down to yours. The most passionate kiss of your life he wrapped his arms around you waist lifting you in his arms; he twirled around with you.

This was his most significant moment ever. The Orpheum could never live up to this.

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[quercus-queer]

BA’s Reckoning

Yes, I stole this title from the Sporkful podcast. You should check it out!

So just a reminder the whole thing that kicked this off was when Tammie Teclemariam tweeted the photo of Rapoport in brown face (yes its brown face its a purposeful caricature of Puerto Rican ppl, his girlfriend called him her papi in the caption as well) saying he should simply write the article on Puerto Rican food then (the issue was Illyanna Maisonet, a Puerto Rican food writer, got rejected rudely by Rapo for her pitch to write about Puerto Rican food) Which brings up the larger issue of BA being racist and not covering any other dishes besides Eurocentric ones, and the ones that aren't Eurocentric are almost always either whitewashed or done by white people which is what happened with Masionet’s article (this is where Amanda Shapiro and Meryl Rothstein come in).

This led to a zoom meeting where Rapo made a shitty apology leading Sohla El-Waylly’s instagram posts, where she condemns Rapo, talks about her 50k salary despite having 15 years of restaurant experience (She ran a fucking restaurant and 50k in NYC is pathetic), being hired to help white editors, and not being paid for ANY of her video appearances (none of the poc you see in videos have been compensated including the zoom videos). Which has led to many people at BA being exposed for being terrible (Conde Nast is the parent company and owns BA, Vogue, Architectural Digest, Allure, Glamour, Wired, Epicurious,Teen Vogue among other things... also take note how most of these have consistently been criticized for their racism or “race problems”)

ANYWAY here’s a general guide of what each BA person has done, this is in no way comprehensive, feel free to investigate on your own, always fact check and form your own opinions!

Adam Rapoport: Brown face, not paying his non-white employees for their video appearances, treating his assistant Ryan Walker-Hartshorn (a black woman) like shit (she was working overtime and was barely making rent with what he was paying her), he's sexist (see every video with Molly) and racist (mixing up Sohla and Priya Krishna and never apologizing) and more!

Check out the Business Insider piece, twitter (Tammie’s, Christina Chaey’s, and Priya’s), Sohla’s podcast and interviews, and someone made a compilation of Rapo being condescending I think

Matt Duckor: Disgusting, racist, homophobic, sexist all around terrible person, probably the most obviously terrible of the bunch (see Rick Martinez’s insta plus Duckor’s own tweets), strung along Sohla for months saying that her pay was “stuck in legal” so that she would keep appearing in videos, gave Sohla a contract when this stuff first started happening to try and shut her up, HE is the one deciding pay for everyone at BA and was the one not paying poc for video appearances.

Check out Rick’s Insta, Twitter for Duckor’s tweets (screenshots bc he deleted his account)

Carla Lalli Music: First off, ppl are pointing out she was condescending af to a lot of her guests on her show (except for the white ones). The racism at BA did not start nor stop with Adam Rapoport and guess who was editor in chief before him? Yup, Mrs. Carla Lalli Music! Necessary amendment: Carla was the food director NOT the editor in chief and she is currently an editor at large... still a powerful position though and I think the sentiment still stands. She had a pretty pathetic twitter thread about how she should’ve done more but was focused on the sexism/focusing on women, strange because she also sent that shitty email to two women along with Delany and Brad after the two of them, Delany, and Brad were talking in the kitchen, telling them not to enter the kitchen without permission (not enforced on Brad or Delany obviously, only the two women who happen to not be white) I misread the article, Brad was a part of the convo, he did NOT receive the email, and didn't respond to the articles request for comment.. he fucking works in the test kitchen, i’m an idiot and that's on me

Business insider and her twitter 

Alex Delany: I have a post with the screenshots of the confederate flag cake he made himself because he felt the “need to express some southern heritage in cake form. Such a glorious cake...” for his friend moving to South Carolina, the lovely vine with the classic “F*g is a bundle of sticks joke” also have a post discussing that, he’s wildly underqualified for DRINKS editor and overpaid, also his girlfriend is Allegra Lorenzotti whose mother Eva Lorenzotti, is in Jeffery Epstein’s black book which is concerning (though who knows maybe Delany is dating a different wealthy Allegralo), also those sexist tweets

I have screenshots from Tumblr, ppl have the vine on twitter along with the sexist tweets (he deleted his twitter and Tumblr btw)

Andy Baraghani: There are screenshots of Alyse Whitney’s (an asian woman) twitter thread saying Andy purposefully undercut her articles multiple times because of a petty feud with Antoni from Queer Eye by using his friendship with Amanda Shapiro (Whitney’s editor) to kill the story, which is shitty and brings up the bigger picture of BA being cliquey and getting in with a friend of a friend and such which is just a toxic work environment

Amanda Shapiro: Puerto Rican food article, Alyse Whitney’s articles, she’s a perpetuator of the toxic work environment, stealing Nikita Richardson’s work and getting credit and pay for it (pls check out her twitter and the articles with her), also racist, should not be in charge

Chris Morocco: Made one (1) basic post (simply a reply to Molly calling him out actually) at the beginning of all this agreeing to not be in anymore videos until his coworkers got paid/backpay, he said he was complicit (duh) but also that he had no idea this was happening, but guess what? He is the one that hired Sohla for only 50k! There is a whole can of worms about how little Sohla was hired for despite her experience plus talent along with her current pay and Chris is a part of that. Also both his gumbo video and Halo Halo recipe are downright disrespectful at BEST and they should not have had a white man doing them (again with the white people doing articles/videos that can be EASILY given to someone whose actually part of that culture) and before anyone says anything yes the gumbo was for Chris’s show (strange how only white ppl get shows or in Andy’s case unless you’re friends with a higher up) still doesn't make the video less disrespectful, also he’s SAID he is friends with Anna Wintour (head of vogue, and a racist “there’s no room for black women” the reason the vogue challenge is happening)

Brad Leone: Himbo status permanently revoked, “Brad who just found out racism is real”(Sohla said this in the Sporkful podcast) is NOT acceptable for a 35 year old white man whose coworkers are suffering in a clearly toxic work environment, the screenshot with “I didn’t sign her contract she did” is NOT how you respond to your coworker being underpaid and disrespected by the company she works at because she is not a white man. I do not like him anymore, he has made apologies but ignorance to this extent is willful and I don't completely buy it the rumors he was upset Delany was going to be fired/would quit if Delany was fired/was mad at Sohla is not something I was able to confirm but based off of what I’ve seen he really needs to prove himself to be better, he can stay if that’s what his coworkers want but he is on thin fucking ice

Stuff I can't accredit to a single person, but BA is racist: 

NIKITA RICHARDSON, pls check her out on twitter

They sent Sohla to interview black chefs (bc BA has a bad track record) because she was the darkest and there were literally NO black chefs working at BA

Making Priya only cook Indian dishes (which were kinda whitewashed) I actually think this may have been Duckor

Tokenizing the poc staff (they would make them be in the kitchen when filming the white hosts shows and push them in front of the camera to highlight nonexistent diversity)

Paying Hawa Hassan only $400 for her video (probs also Duckor)

[afaimsarrowverse]

Arrowverse Update 2021:

I am doing one more of those before the new Seasons are rolling in, because we got major news about one project and some more bits about everything else, so… let’s start with the bad news and then continue with the rest:

 Green Arrow and the Canaries

 Is officially dead. It is currently unknown if and how we are going to get a resolution of the cliffhangar from the Backdoor-Pilot and its other open plot-threads. Yes, we were promised that all of this would get resolved somwhere else, if the show would not get picked up, however that was one year ago. Since then a lot has changed.

The main problem is that the project was just buried a couple of days ago, meaning that there is no chance for anything of this to be resolved in this TV-Season, which is already completly planned through for all the Arrowverse-Shows (and even half filmed already in some cases). The other problem is that a good portion of the people responsible for „Green Arrow and the Canaries“ is not a part of the current Arrwoverse anylonger. Yes, Marc Guggenheim could come back just to do a Crossover that resolves all that is still open, but why would The CW want its next Crossover Event to revolve around a never picked up show? There would have to be something else in that Crossover Event, provided one of those could even happen any time soon. As for doing just a singular episode the problem is where. The shows with ties to „Green Arrow and the Canaries“ might not be around any more or be in their final season by the time such an episode could be made, and all of the shows might again get shortened seasons, so the producers are going to have other priorties for their own shows in the next year.

So we might not get a resolution to „Green Arrow and the Canaries“ at all. On Televison that is. There is the alternate route though: A Comic Continuation.

As of now however it’s way to early to know anything for sure though. They are looking into it, but as I said, things are a lot more complicated right now, then they were a year ago.

Batwoman

 Season two is rolling around in a few days, therefor they released a new accurate synopsis and The CW has been and is still putting out a lot of promo material. You can watch most of it on Youtube.

A couple of days after I wrote my last one of these, it was reported that Christina Wolfe will be part of the main cast this season. In other news, we also were told that we will get yet another version of Victor Zsasz. The Arrowverse-Version will be played by Alex Morf.

Also David Ramsey will guest star as John Diggle and also direct an episode (but probably not the same one). And yes, this might be the Crossover Episode. However is has to be said that is has become awfully quite around that illusive „Batwoman“/“Superman&Lois“-Crossover. Given the news about David Ramsey being in all shows, it might have been replaced by a Diggle-Storyline that goes through all the shows including „Batwoman“. We will have to wait and see.

The Season opener will go into Kate Kane’s fate (without her being in it though) and Gotham will have to confront the False Face Society and new drug called Snakebite in the opening episodes. The tone of the new Season might be drastically different from before, there are hints for that, and I am not speaking about BLM instead of LGBT-issues. The words „goofy“ and „fun“ are kind of present, if you know what I mean, however this could just be promotion.

 As for the episodes:

 2.01 „Whatever happend to Kate Kane?“ (Directed by: Holly Dale, Written by: Caroline Dries, Airdate: January 17 2021)

 2.02 „Prior Criminal History“ (Written by: James Stoteraux & Chad Fiveash)

 2.03 „Bat Girl Magic“

 2.04 „Fair Skin, Blue Eyes“ (Directed by: Menhaj Huda, Written by: Ebony Gilbert)

 2.05 „Gore on Canvas“

Black Lightning

 Everyone is still very tighlipped about the final Season of „Black Lightning“. So I have nothing new, apart from titles (which are in line with the previous seasons and therefore not telling us anything, if we are honest):

 4.01 „The Book of Reconstruction: Chapter One“ (Airdate: February 8 2021)

 4.02 „The Book of Reconstruction: Chapter Two“

 4.03. „The Book of Reconstruction: Chapter Three“

 4.04 „The Book of Reconstrucion: Chapter Four“

 4.05 „The Book of Ruin: Chapter One“

 4.06.

 4.07 „Painkiller“-Backdoorpilot

The Flash

 So, yes, someone on the Production Team was tested posivite, and they had to shut down the production for a short period of time because of this, but it remained a pretty isolated case (or so it seems) and the production did resume. To make up for the lost time the Christmas Break was shortend, and they are back to filming already, so no need to worry, everthing is on schedule.

This season will see the return of John Diggle to Central City. David Ramsey will also direct an episode (but probably not the same one). We will also see the return of the Meta-Human Task Force, which will clash with Frost. This storyline will also involve Joe. Eric Wallace has hinted before that there will be a storyline involving the police and abuse of power with Joe in it, and I did assume it would be BLM-storyline, however this is „The Flash“, so this storyline might be what he talked about instead, and we might get a Meta-Human are being hunted and abused-Storyline as a substiute.

 As for the first couple of episodes:

 7.01 „All’s Wells that Ends Wells“ (Airdate: Feburary 23 2021)

 7.02. „The Speed of Thought“ (Airdate: March 2 2021)

 7.03 „Mother“ (Airdate: March 9 2021)

 7.04 „Central City Strong“( Airdate: March 16 2021)

 7.05 „Fear Me“ (Airdate: March 23 2021)

Superman & Lois

 The new Morgan Edge is in and it will be Adam Rayner, who will inherit the role from Adrian Pasdar. We also learned that Joselyn Picard will play the other Cushing-Lang-Daughter Sophie. Reporters we will get to meet on the show not only include Ron Troupe but also Chrissy Beppp played by Sofia Hasmik, while Leslie Larr played by Stacey Farber will be a cold former idealist, probably tied to Morgan Edge, and presumable an antagonist.

David Ramsey will guest star as John Diggle somewhen this season and will direct an episode as well. He will make his way through most of the shows (as Diggle) and might be the Crossover-Factor of this season. Even though the „Batwoman“/“Superman & Lois“-Crossover is not officially of the table, we haven’t heard anything about it in a while, so maybe this actually is it.

We got a proper look at the new suit and also the first real trailer, which is … unusal. More artsy then revealing, but is around one and a half months until the season starts, so there will be another trailer coming out soon.

 The first couple of episodes:

 1.01  Pilot (Directed by: Lee Toland Krieger, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Todd Helbing, Airdate: February 23 2021)

 1.02  „Heritage“ (Airdate: March 2 2021)

 1.03  „The Perks of Not Being a Wallflower“ (Airdate: March 9 2021)

 1.04. „Haywire“ (Directed by: James Bamford, Airdate: March 16 2021)

 1.05 „The Beacon“ (Airdate: March 23 2021)

Legends of Tomorrow

 Aliyah O’Brien will guest star as Kayla a fearsome deadly alien warrior in this season, who won’t be to happy about the Legends, because she is a pro, and they are …. well … the Legends. David Ramsey will also guest star this season, however he won’t be playing John Diggle, but another role instead. Who or what this other role will be remains a mystery. He could play Diggles ancenstor or descendant, if time travel is still an element in Season 6, or a shape shifting alien or an illusion, however they could also go full prosthetics and have him playing a character with no connection to Diggle at all.

David Ramsey will also direct an episode this season. Caity Lotz did already direct an episode, Episode 5, and given that she tweeted about the strain of directing and acting at the same time, we will see more of Sara in this episode than in last year‘s „Mortal Khanbat“. However still expect less Sara in Episode 4 and 5 than usual.

There was an early air-date floating around for „Legends“, which proofed to be a mix-up. Don‘t expect Season 6 (or any mid-season replacement for that matter) before the end of May, and even that would be early.

 As for the episodes:

 6.01 „ Ground Control to Sara Lance“ (Directed by: Kevin Mock, Written by: James Eagan & Mark Bruner)

 6.02 „Meat: The Legends“ (Directed by: Rachel Talalay, Written by: Matthew Maala & Morgan Faust)

 6.03 „The Ex-Factor“ (Directed by: David Geddes, Written by: Grainne Godfree  & Tyron Carter)

 6.04 „Bay of Squids“ (Directed by: Sudz Sutherland, Written by: Phil Klemmer)

 6.05 „The Satanist’s Apprentice“ (Directed by. Caity Lotz, Written by: Keto Shimizu, & Ray Utarnachitt)

 6.06 „Bishop’s Gambit“ (Directed by: Kevin Mock, Written by: James Eagan & Emily Cheever)

Supergirl

 Here we are again, with crumbs only. I still can’t tell you anything with value that happens this season. A couple of casting tapes leaked, one involving a prison break plot, however there is no telling if this isn’t just a single scene that leads to something totally different or the beginning of an actual sub-plot. We do know however that Young Alex and Young Kara will make their return this season.

We also know, that „Supergirl“ is about the only show on this list that does not have a finished Episode 1 as of now. They might have one or two finished episodes around Episode 5 or 6, but that’s it.

The reason we know this is that even though they are up to Episode 6 with filming, just like the other Vancouver-based shows, they did start a lot later, meaning they did not film whole episodes. The other reason we know that is that Melissa is just returning to the show this months. And there is no way she won’t be in Episode 1. She might sit out a couple of episodes that star Young Kara and Young Alex instead, but there is no way she won’t be in the first six episodes at all.

We will also get less Alex this year, or tob e more accurate less Chyler. She is having her directorial debute this season. Episode 6 is her episode, and this is the one with Young Alex und Young Kara in it. However present day Brainy und Nia are also in it, so it won’t be a total Flashback Episode. However, expect Chyler Light Episodes 5-6. Episode 7 will be directed by David Harewood. David Ramsey will also direct an episode this season and will guest star as John Diggle, however probably not in the same episode.

Also Odette Annable is back for the final season in some capacity. Wether as Sam or as Reign or both and for how much is unknown at this point.

And yes, „Supergirl“ is also the only show on this, where I can’t give you an episode list, because this is all we know.

Yes, it is the final season and they are extra-tight-lipped because of that, and also as I said they don’t really have finished episodes at this stage, but still it would be nice, if someone up there in Vancouver or someone from the Writer’s Room would give us anything. But it seems like they are holding back with any kind of promotion at least until Melissa starts filming if not longer.

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 11/?

Summary: Ace goes to his first doctor’s visit, and Alex checks in with her doctor.

Warnings: First shots, crying, doctor visits, slight jealousy. Fluffy Dad!Chris content. Body insecurities, health concerns, and mentions of sex.

A/N: Rest in Power to Chadwick Boseman, our Black Panther and King. He gave us so much while battling cancer, not just Black Panther. The work he has done in the amount of time he had left a mark, and cannot be replicated. Chadwick Boseman has been such a force in Hollywood that no one could ever forget him. My heart goes out to all his close friends and family.

Also, let’s not make this about Black Panther 2.

~~~~~~

6 Weeks Old

“I mean they can program a robot to perform surgery on a grape but they still have to jab a n-e-e-d-l-e into my baby’s skin for vaccinations.” Alex glared at a few of the other moms in the waiting room, eyeing Chris up and down with Ace. 

Chris fed him while Alex filled out the medical file. He was noisy drinking from the bottle, but he took to bottle feeding easier than Alex expected. She watched from the corner of her eye, Chris was a natural, jumping right into action whenever Ace needed something. Seeing him walk around the house with Ace never got old. He was always singing songs to him, some made up. Alex’s favorite so far was the one called ‘Doggies Are Friendly’, in attempts to get Ace to warm up to Dodger. No luck.

Overall seeing Chris Evans with a baby was enough to get any woman excited, and willing to give him more. So she could understand the gazes he got from the other moms, but that didn’t mean she had to just sit there and let them undress her husband with their eyes.

“Al, he can’t understand you.” He watched Ace, unaware of the extra eyes lusting after him

“He’s intuitive Chris, he knows what I mean." Alex frowned, thinking about the how upset Ace would be once he got his shots. She always thought her mother was being overprotective when she was younger but now she understood it completely. She could hear him crying now, and the thought made her eyes sting.

Chris finally looked up, after hearing the infliction in Alex’s voice ”What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t say that, we’re not gonna bottle up our feelings.” 

She half shrugged “I guess it’s a mental thing. I mean I know he has to get the shots- I just feel like I’m a monster, purposefully putting him through pain.”

“Baby, it’s a required check up, the first of many shots down the road. You aren’t a monster, you’re a mother.” 

“Evans?” the nurse called out from behind the counter

“Are you gonna be okay?” Chris asked as they stood, shifting Ace against his shoulder to burp him

“If you’re asking me if I’m gonna cry, I’m making no promises.” she quickly admitted

Alex hovered over the nurse while she weighed and measured Ace, and checked his heartbeat. Ace’s face when the cold stethoscope touched his chest was adorably deadpan. However, Chris was the one with all the questions, discussing development stages with the nurse the entire time. Going over Ace’s feeding and sleeping routine, asking if the amount of sleep was too little or too much. Would changing the baby wipes would cause any rashes. How soon would it be before hiding out if he was actually allergic to food or animals. And he jotted it all down in his phone, Alex stopped the nurse short when she offered to give Chris her number for any future questions.

“Al, I can hold him.” Chris offered once it was time for the vaccine shots

“No, it’s fine. I can handle it.” She kept Ace’s head turned away facing Chris. The nurse took a step closer, syringe in hand, Alex moved away slightly. “Sorry.”

The nurse tried again, Alex turned the other way.

“Mrs. Evans, I need you to stop moving him.”

“Al-”

“Okay, you hold him.” she conceded, before handing Ace over to Chris

She chewed her nail and watched from her new spot. Ace cried the second the nurse stuck him, Chris felt tears rising to his eyes. He went to wipe them away before anyone could see but more spilled over hearing the cries getting louder. Ace fidgeted against Chris, a heartbreaking attempt for him to move away from whatever stuck him.

“It’s okay baby.” Alex did her best to soothe him while the nurse prepped for another shot. She looked up at Chris, his cheeks wet but he kept his face straight, Alex wiped the tears away from her husband’s face before repeating “It’s okay baby.”

Seeing Ace’s lip poke out while the nurse moved in to stick him again nearly made Chris go into full defense mode, but he bit the inside of his cheek when the crying started again. Ace’s, not his.

“It’s okay honey, we’re all done with the shots.” the nurse soothed, covering the puncture points with small smiley face band-aids

“Yay, all done!” Alex clapped while Chris kissed the top of his son’s head to calm him “You okay?” Alex gave her husband some comforting back rubs

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He sniffled

"Good because now we have to go to my appointment."

***

After chewing down the nails on her left hand, Alex was half through her right one when she was called into her doctor’s exam room. Chris offered to go in with her, but she quickly declined, knowing she would have to be undressed for part, if not most, of the check-up. She done her own self-examination last night, seeing how different she looked down there. 

She didn’t want to be vain about it, but the first thing that popped in her head once she looked was how much she needed to get a wax. The second was equally as vain as it was humbling when she thought about having sex with Chris again. Her husband, AKA, Captain freaking America, who could eat to his hearts content and still come out looking as cut as the day she met him. Alex wanted to kick him and kiss him at the same time.

“Well Alex,” her doctor spoke, going over her notes “my main concern for you right now, is your blood pressure. It’s a little higher than usual, what’s your diet like at home?”

“More red meat than before, loads of pasta.” Alex paused to think “I tried string peas, y’know just for research purposes, surprisingly good.”

She chuckled “I tended to lean towards the squash when my first kid was born, but peas were a close second. What about stress?”

Alex shrugged “Fine, I guess. I mean, I can deal with it.”

“Alex, you can’t take this lightly. Stress can be just as harmful as smoking, for both you and your son. You are still breast feeding right?”

“Yes, and I started pumping.”

She jotted down some more notes “Mhmm, and how’s that going? No issues? Low milk supply? Pain while nursing?”

“Aside from the nipple chaffing, not really.” Alex picked at her nails, her doctor noticed

“Alex, I can’t help if you’re not one hundred percent honest with me. It’s bad enough we have doctors that downplay our symptoms because of a bullshit theory that Black people, specifically Black women, have higher pain tolerance. Don’t put on a brave face, not when it comes to your health.”

“Well when you put it like that- I hate pumping, I hate feeding sometimes too. It’s like a bunch of pins and needles sticking me when I do it, just sucking the life out of me. I don’t recognize my body anymore, and I’m warning you now, it’s not pretty down there. As for the stress, my husband and I have been fighting over what’s best for Ace, and our marriage. Which makes me concerned for when I go back to working. My Dad damn near broke his back, my son won’t sleep for longer than an hour, and I think he hates our family dog.” Alex exhaled a sharp breath 

“You feel better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“If you don’t like the feel you have when pumping when why do it?”

“Chris wants to be included in feed Alexander, my son, which I get. He’s gonna be back and forth between working and home again, so he wants his chance to bond with him.”

“But breast feeding is also uncomfortable to you?”

“Only when he fights trying to latch, but once he does and he’s calm, it’s worth it.”

“Have you ever considered formula? Lots of new moms do it, even rotated between that and breast milk. It’s actually proven to help both the mom and the baby.”

“We’ve talked about it, I voted against it.”

“I’m not saying you should, ultimately it’s your choice, but I will recommend, giving it a shot considering the stress you might be going through.” she scribbled down a few more notes “Now physically, how do you feel?”

“In my vagina?”

“There too. Please scoot forward and lay back for me.”

Alex followed orders and put her legs in the stirrups “Mostly tired, out of everything I’m exhausted. I’ve been walking to try and slim down a bit, but the weight isn’t going anywhere.”

“That’s to be expected, a lot of new moms hope for the baby weight to drop right off.” Alex’s doctor explained while pulling on her gloves “However, a lot of it is your uterus trying to shrink back to it’s regular size after being stretched out for nine months. Perfectly normal to like your body isn’t the same anymore, because it’s not. It gets easier the more kids you have.”

Alex chuckled “I don’t plan on having another one for a while.”

“Are you taking birth control?”

“No, Ace’s spit up on my clothes is all the birth control I need right now.” Alex shifted slightly “Plus I don’t really get in the mood too often now a days. Not sure if it’s emotional or mental but I’m just not ready to bring intimacy back in just yet.”

“Well physically, you’re good to go. Stitches are all healed, no signs of infection or tears. I will recommend going easy though, as well as a birth control, in case your mood changes.”

“Thanks, what do you recommend for my marriage?” Alex asked jokingly

“I have an acquaintance who’s a marriage counselor. I can give you her contact information if you like.”

“Um- I think I’ll pass this time Doc.”

“Okay then, I’ll let you get dressed and just talk to Toni at the desk before you leave to set up your next appointment.”

Chris stood once he saw Alex reenter the waiting room, Ace was fast asleep in the carrier.

“What did your doctor say? How are you doing?”

Alex did her best not to hesitate “A little concerned about my diet, said my blood pressure was a bit high, but overall-”

“Are you okay?”

“Chris, let me finish.” she gave him a reassuring smile “I gotta fix my diet, limit my stress and my blood pressure will be fine.”

“What did she say about- other things?” he hinted, a light blush creeping to his cheeks

“Well- my insatiable husband- I should wait a little longer. Nothing is wrong it’s just what she recommends.”

Chris nodded “Okay, not a problem.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders “We’ll wait, doctor’s orders.”

“Doctor’s orders.”

[eolewyn1010]

3 seasons of Charité - upsides and downsides

Includes spoilers for all three seasons!

What I like about Charité, season 1:

- Ida is a relatable and stubborn woman, and while I think the protagonists of the newer two seasons are written better and more interestingly, she makes for a good central character

- Behring is great to watch, complex, enthusiastic, arrogant, passionate, desperately forlorn, sweetly encouraging, irascible, honest, and I’m always torn between loving and hating him with all my heart

- he also stands in for how badly society was suited to handle people with psychological issues back in the day

-  actually, none of the characters are simple or one-sided; expectations are often subverted – Behring is not heartless, but he can’t just be “saved” either, neither Koch nor Virchow are as benign as they seem at first, Tischendorf is not the sweet young Prince Charming who’ll give Ida the dream life she deserves, Hedwig is not a brainless little floozie with no deeper thoughts or feelings, neither Therese nor Martha are all the strict boss ladies they want to be, Edith is not just a snotty bitch etc.

- medical history of that time, a blunt look on methods and circumstances

- the rivalry between the doctors; it’s fun to watch them passive-aggressively piss on each other

- the staging of the Tuberculin scandal was really effective, with all the hyping, the downfall and the consequences

- we get sweethearts! Stine is a sweetheart, Else is a sweetheart, Therese is a sweetheart, Dr. Kitasato is a sweetheart, and most of all Dr. Ehrlich. I like kind people, ok? Especially in a setting where so many people are asses

- the music is atmospheric and quite nice

- despite two options of marriage, the female protagonist remains single and gets to focus on her career, even in a time and setting that’s not supportive

- I’m having a blast with Minckwitz – he’s such a bitch, I love it

What I hate:

- the lesbian dies for no good reason

- did our main character really have to be a tragic, left-all-alone orphan in debts? Would you like some cheese with that whine?

- the big, hammy speeches get on my nerves after a while

- my sweet lesbian Therese dies, awfully, of frickin’ tuberculosis

- say what you will, Ida and Behring could have made it work; I think they would have been good for each other. Kinda disappointed

- Else Spinola deserved better

- poor Therese dies, thinking that God punishes her for being in love with Ida

- those weird slo-mo shots between scenes don’t serve any purpose

- what’s with the random fortuneteller scene? What was that good for?

- THERESE DIES! We go with f***king Bury Your Gays??? F*** YOU!

_________________________________

What I like about Charité, season 2:

- Anni and Dr. Sauerbruch – different than with Ida, we get two focal characters who aren’t presented as doubtlessly morally good. On the contrary, Anni starts out as quite the happy-go-lucky little Nazi follower – and then we get all the character development; hell yeah!

- Anni chooses to keep and raise her disabled baby herself, come hell or high water; damn, she fights for that kid. And Martin is positive disabled representation, too – thanks for giving me a handicapped veteran who’s not a bitter, drunk wreck just whining about what a cripple he is! He’s got a grip on his life, and the leg only ever comes up on three occasions; it doesn’t define him

- Otto, Martin, Doc Jung, Margot, Maria Fritsch and Kolbe are more clearly positive characters, but they aren’t one-sided, either – like, Otto plays that bright sunshine, but there’s so much seething in him. My sweet baby boy

- same for the negative characters, because they aren’t flat either; Artur, de Crinis and Christel are super interesting, all different levels between quiet, only semi-aware compliance and full-on, not-so-blind fanaticism. Gawd, those shitheads, but they’re fascinating to watch

- all them relationships – Margot-Ferdinand, Otto-Martin, Otto-Anni, Artur-Anni, Margot-Doc Jung, Ferdinand-Doc Jung, Anni-de Crinis, Bessau-Artur, Martin-Christel, Otto-Christel, Anni-Martin… there are so many interplays, so many dynamics that influence each other! SO many layers!

- the acting is better, I think; the characters altogether feel less wooden, much more human than the first time around – perhaps because it’s not 19th century manners anymore now, I dunno; I’m getting really emotional over shit, and I love it

- incorporation of the political and social situation into the hospital setting – much more than in the first season, the state ideology influences the way the doctors can do their work, and many of them do their best to still hold onto their duty when everything around them falls apart, which is beautiful

- power struggles between the characters in charge and ideological / political nuances are more subtle; nothing is black and white

- but there’s nothing subtle about the presentation of Nazi crimes and how many people actually just went along willingly – that cold bluntness is just what that subject needs

- interactions with patients are better this time; they’re more now than passive, pitiable creatures who quietly die their way, they’re characters with their own minds and drives (Lohmann, Magda Goebbels, Hans von Dohnanyi, even Emil)

- the music is even better than the first time around, I love it – so gentle most of the time, but it can also really help to build the tension

- we get a very sweet, functioning queer romance between characters who consist of more than “well, they’re gay and it troubles them”, and they both live – THANK YOU for learning your lesson; there was no good reason to have the gay character die, so Otto and Martin get a happy end. Was that so difficult?

What I hate:

- Yrsa von Leistner is so effing random. Who the hell wrote this? If you can’t incorporate a character properly, why bother including them in the first place?

- the passivity and anonymity of the disabled children – why didn’t Artur or Anni ever get to perceive one of them as a person? That girl Traudel for example, Anni could have talked to her

- there’s a slight tendency to “I’ll just tell the character next to me” exposition – Artur when he and Anni wake up together that one morning (why wouldn’t Anni know yet what he’s working on? That long-winded explaining sentence just came off as awkward), Peter Sauerbruch to Margot about the Dohnanyis and Bonhoeffers

_________________________________

What I like about Charité, season 3:

- I’m all pro ProPro! Honestly, that man is a treat, both how the character is written and how the actor carries the situations and interactions he’s in. He’s arrogant and narcissistic, but he’s also principled, insightful and caring, unpolitical in a smart way and honest in a quiet way, and he gets how people are, and his mentorship of Ella, how he supports and encourages her and also bluntly gives her the dressing-down she needs, is a thing of beauty. And that she has to earn his attention first

- I have a personal soft spot for the scene where ProPro is doing his sports and going jogging while talking with Ella, and then just has her run along. That man’s hilarious, I love him

- Ella’s spirited, and while I don’t love the protagonists of this season as much as those of the second, she’s still great in her own right – the dedication to her research, the strength with which she handles the shit that’s thrown at her

- everyone’s so snarky!

- the wider focus on medical history and research; we see a lot past surgery now

- everyone’s taking shit in stride – staff is running off to the West? Ok; rest gets double shifts. We don’t have a senior doctor on the ward this morning anymore? We do shit ourselves. An illness we’re not prepared to treat anymore because, actually, there should be vaccination enough? We’ll make do. I love that spirit

- positive disabled representation! Rapoport’s daughter actually interacts with people, is presented as a person, has dreams and strengths and can handle her issues – yes, please!

- we get an intersex character, not for long and the story isn’t treated with the care and attention it should have, but props for the effort, I guess

- the setting allows for Ella to focus fully on her work and passion, not really giving much on romance and marriage without that seeming out of place – Ida’s conversations most often revolved around a man, Anni was considered a Nazi role model for being married and a mother, but Ella, while the relationship with Kurt is an option, never prioritizes this and never needs it

- personally, I’m smelling threesome subtext between Ella, Kurt and Alex Nowack – that may just be me, but I like it

- how everyone handles situations, how the changes happening in the country are incorporated into the world the characters live in, how they are able to cope with stuff and make decisions, in the end even without shifting blame

- even more so than in season 2, I really like how human the patients and their relatives are, that interacting with them in the right way is made an important part of the doctors’ work, even when some of the patients are asses

What I hate:

- people are mumbling – it’s not dialects, it’s not accents; they’re mumbling. They never were in the first two seasons

- the cancer stories were really no favorite of mine; what’s with the teary melodrama and the sudden gory shock value? Come on, Charité, you can do better. Presenting the human side of everything has always been the strength of this series, so why going so overboard now?

- I dunno, the crime cases ProPro investigates don’t seem to be incorporated that well? I suppose they’re there to establish his main field of pathology, but they spend a lot of time on that “Biter” case, and I’m not sure why

- would have been nice if Inge Rapoport had gotten to interact a bit with important characters other than her husband, Arianna and Kraatz – she’s a lovable, strong female character; why keep her so one-sided?

- what’s with the black’n’white painting? You showed us how conflicted and nuanced people under the Nazi regime could be; why now the clear line between “those people are good” and “that one sold his soul to the Party”?

- you show us an intersex person, introduce her as a character, make us sympathize, show us her hindrances and possibilities – and then she’s just gone? What about her treatment? Positive development? Making Kraatz’ interactions with her a counterpoint to his interactions with Doc Rapoport? What WAS that?

[booksbookssomemoviesandbooks]

Book Recs

Hello! so for my first post, I'll recommend some books, so y'all can have a closer look at some fandoms I'll post about! enjoy!!

1.  

Harry Potter By J.K. Rowling is definitely an interesting, well-written series! there are 7 books however, and the books get bigger as the series progresses. It's sometimes difficult to know the exact order, so I'll list it below:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Although the movies are great, they don't include all the amazing details, as with all movies. A short summary:

Harry Potter, a young boy who’s being constantly abused by his uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia, gets a peculiar letter from the magical school of Hogwarts, where he spends most of his time, becoming his home.

Quotes:

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." ― Albus Dumbledore

“You’re just as sane as I am" - Luna Lovegood

“Mischief managed" - Fred and George Weasley

It is Important to know that j*r is a huge transphobe, along with other things, and is currently being erased by the fandom itself.

2.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, along with the other series by Rick Riordan, is a definite must-read. With each book, you can really notice the character developments and a lot more! There is loads of representation in this one, with lgbtqia+ characters, black characters, Muslim characters and more. It's very action-packed and addicting, sucking you into the magnificent world of Half-Bloods and Demigods within the first page. The first series consists of 5 books, in the following order:

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse

Percy Jackson and the Battle of The Labyrinth

Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian

THE MOVIES ARE TRASH SO I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECOMMEND WATCHING THEM BEFORE READING THE BOOKS!!! There were many changes and the movies aren't nearly as good as the books. A short summary:

Percy Jackson, a 12 year-old who lives with his mother, Sally, and step-father, Gabe, attends the private boarding school Yancy Academy. While on a school trip, his teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a fury and attacks him. This, in turn, triggers a series of other problems and adventures.

Quotes:

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” - Percy Jackson

“With great power, comes great need to nap. Wake me up later." - Nico Di Angelo

“Even strength has to bow down to wisdom sometimes." - Annabeth Chase

3.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is one of my most recommended series! With everything it deals with, from the Capitol to the districts to the champions, the books are amazing! 

Order:

The Hunger Games

Catching Fire

Mockingjay

Starring the movies is the amazing Jennifer Lawrence, but with all books, the movies have slight differences, although I definitely recommend watching them when you're done with the books.

A Short Summary:

In what was once North America, the Capitol of Panem maintains its hold on its 12 districts by forcing them each to select a boy and a girl, called Tributes, to compete in a nationally televised event called the Hunger Games. Every citizen must watch as the youths fight to the death until only one remains. District 12 Tribute Katniss Everdeen has little to rely on, other than her hunting skills and sharp instincts, in an arena where she must weigh survival against love.

(FILM SYNOPSIS)

Quotes:

"May the odds be ever in your favor." - Effie Trinket

"Fire is catching, and if we burn, you burn with us!" - Katniss Everdeen

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” - President Snow

4.

Divergent is another book with a huge fandom, and rightfully so. This book is amazing, and you honestly can't live without having read it!

Order:

Divergent

Insurgent

Allegiant 

Surprisingly, I haven't watched the movies yet, but I hear that they aren’t that bad, so you should give them a go!

Summary:

In a world run by fictional classes known as factions, children who reach the age of 16 begin to choose which factions they wish to call home for the rest of their lives. Each faction comes with its own ups and downs, so it's definitely a hard choice, especially for someone as unique as Beatrice.

Quotes:

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it“ - Four

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” - Dauntless Motto

"We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one." - Tris

5. 

You might have heard of this series, and it's really addictive, trust me! The Mortal Instruments is one of the most astonishing books I've ever read, and it's most definitely my go-to when recommending a book series!

Order:

City of Bones

City of Ashes

City of Glass

City of Fallen Angels

City of Lost Souls

City of Heavenly Fire

Again, (I know this is rather disappointing) I haven't watched the movies, but do check them out!

Summary:

Clary Fray's search for her missing mother leads her into an alternate New York called Downworld, filled with mysterious faeries, hard-partying warlocks, not-what-they-seem vampires, an army of werewolves, and the demons who want to destroy it all.

via: https://shadowhunters.com/shadowhunters-novels/the-mortal-instruments/#:~:text=Clary%20Fray's%20search%20for%20her,want%20to%20destroy%20it%20all.

Quotes:

“Heroes aren't always the ones who win. They're the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don't give up. That's what makes them heroes.” - Clary Fairchild

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.” - Sebastion Morgenstern

“The descent into Hell is easy.” - Motto of the Nephilim

6.

Gay. What more needs to be said?

SADLY, there isn't a movie yet, but I think they're working on one, or sure though

Summary:

Set in a world in which a female Democrat from Texas wins the presidency in 2016, Red, White & Royal Blue chronicles the illicit romance between the president's son, Georgetown senior Alex Claremont-Diaz (Dad is a Mexican-American senator), and Prince Henry of Wales, his childhood nemesis.

Via: https://www.wsj.com/articles/red-white-royal-blue-book-summer-beach-read-11565285001#:~:text=Set%20in%20a%20world%20in,of%20Wales%2C%20his%20childhood%20nemesis.

Also, classic enemies-friends-lovers arc and honestly it's amazing

Quotes:

“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.” - Ellen Claremont 

" 'that’s because you can’t hear all the menacing gobbling.' 'Yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.' " - Harry and Alex

"History, huh? Bet we could make some." - Alex

7.

I’m sure you've heard at least a little bit about this book. While not nearly as famous as ones mentioned above, it's still just as good, of not better. I'd say this book is one of my favorites, to be honest. It speaks about a lot of topics people usually find disturbing, and it makes me so happy that it's there, it's written, it's amazing. PTSD, coming out issues, abusive relationships and more, this book is truly awesome.

TRIGGER WARNING 

Summary:

A young boy named Charlie usually dissociates, and pushes other people away. He’s afraid of beginning high school, until he meets two other students who show him how bizarre and amazing the world is.

Quotes:

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite” - Charlie

“We accept the love we think we deserve” - Mr. Anderson

“You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love" - Sam

8. 

This book is honestly pro-feminist and I think that's much more than enough

Summary:

Kaur explores the true impact of sexual abuse and harassment, as well as the difficulties of immigrating, being a female, and depression.

It's also a poem

TRIGGER WARNING

Quotes:

“what is stronger

than the human heart

which shatters over and over

and still lives”

“you do not just wake up and become the butterfly 

- growth is a process”

“on the last day of love

my heart cracked inside my body"

9.

This book isn't very well-known, which really sucks because I really love how it speaks about the consequences of WWII from the German point of view. And about the Germans who did not believe in Hitler's ways. It's also based on a real story, and it's so cool

Summary: 

A nurse working in a nursing home meets a peculiar old lady who decides to tell her her story when she meets the nurse's younger son, Karl, who reminded her of her brother. Lizzie (the old lady) speaks about life in Dresden before the war, and even after it. She also tells them the story about the strange, magnificent elephant in her garden.

Quotes:

“That was the only way of keeping our hopes alive, by looking beyond all we were seeing around us, and the shadow of disaster that hung over us.” - 

“I think I have always had a strong sense of justice, of fair play, of what is right and what is wrong.” - 

“Our home should be an oasis of peace and harmony for us in a troubled world.” - Lizzie (Quoting Papi)

10.

This book is pro-blm and it's ahead of its time (by like 2 years but still). 

Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. via: https://socialjusticebooks.org/the-hate-u-give/#:~:text=Sixteen%2Dyear%2Dold%20Starr%20Carter,hands%20of%20a%20police%20officer.

Quotes:

“Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.” - Lisa

“Daddy once told me there’s a rage passed down to every black man from his ancestors, born the moment they couldn’t stop the slave masters from hurting their families. Daddy also said there’s nothing more dangerous than when that rage is activated.” - Starr

“Everybody wants to talk about how Khalil died,” I say. “But this isn’t about how Khalil died. It’s about the fact that he lived. His life mattered. Khalil lived!” I look at the cops again. “You hear me? Khalil lived!” - Starr

[our-time-is-now]

June 16, 2019 (1): Labels

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Tuesday, 12:13 pm:

David: *had just taken a shower and brought his stuff back to the tent* *saw that everyone is more or less relaxing – Matteo, Mia, Amira and Abdi on the jetty, the rest in the water* *decides to make himself some hot chocolate and then join them* *therefore goes back to the cabin and sees Alex sitting on the porch with a book, his feet comfortably propped up on a chair* *briefly smiles at him and then goes inside* *spontaneously decides to join him and fixes two hot chocolates* *then goes outside again and puts one of the mugs down on the table next to Alex before sitting down next to him with the other mug* Hey… *smirks at the book* What book is so exciting that you prefer it over the others’ company?

Alex: *briefly looks up when David walks past him and nods at him* *looks back up when he comes out of the cabin again* *takes the bookmark from the table and closes the book when he sees that he’s joining him* *looks from the hot chocolate to him with a smile* *briefly wonders if it is fate that the people he somehow gets along with drink hot chocolate with him* Thanks… *then grins slightly and holds the book up so that he can see it* Ironically: “Conversations with friends”… *hands it over to him in case he wants to read the blurb* Is quite good… *takes a sip of his hot chocolate* And what about you? Didn’t feel like lake and jetty?

David: *sees that Alex has closed his book and takes this as a good sign that he’s not interrupting his reading, but that Alex is willing to talk to him* *nods at the hot chocolate and murmurs* Sure… *has learned through the flatshare that apparently Mia and Alex are the hot-chocolate-type just like Matteo and he, even though they have never had hot chocolate together before* *has to smile at the thought that the four of them might one day sit in the kitchen drinking hot chocolate* *then looks at the book Alex is holding up for him and laughs quietly* How fitting… may I? *takes the book and reads the blurb* *then nods and hands it back to him* Sounds good… *stretches a little and then also pulls a chair closer so that he can put his feet up as well* *shakes his head at Alex’ question* No, not really. Sometimes a little quiet isn’t so bad, either… *laughs quietly* I’m really surprised that no one had cabin fever, yet. But it also says a lot about the group of friends…

Alex: *nods slightly and puts the book back on the table* Yes, it is… *nods again at his comment* I told you… *then shakes his head* Oh, I think that’ll still happen, to be honest. Carlos would be a candidate, or Abdi. *sees David’s questioning look and has to smirk* Abdi is annoyed by the couples but doesn’t want to show it because they’re his friends, and Carlos is annoyed that he barely has time alone with Kiki, because she’s constantly doing something else. You and Matteo would also be good candidates, but you’re quite good at taking yourself out of a situation if you need time for yourselves. *laughs slightly at his look and shrugs one shoulder* I don’t talk much, but I see a lot.

David: *looks at Alex in disbelief when he predicts that the cabin fever will still come and then listens to him while he gives him reasons for each of the candidates* *draws up his eyebrows with a grin when he’s finished and is a little surprised about how good of an overview of the situation Alex seems to have* *then laughs at his next words and nods* I can see that… *takes a sip of hot chocolate and shrugs* To some extent, Matteo and I had our cabin fever with the binder-fight, but it’s true, we do take ourselves out of the situation if we need time for ourselves… *smiles slightly and says* Mia and you do that, as well… *then thinks* Okay, but then I think my bet is more on Carlos… I can’t really imagine it with Abdi… and Hanna and Jonas… no idea, I think those two are really chill… *is also thinking about Amira and Sam but can’t really imagine either of those two getting cabin fever*

Alex: *laughs slightly and nods* Yes, Mia and I do that as well… that’s why I didn’t say our names. And it wasn’t an accusation, on the contrary. *then nods when he says Carlos’ name* Yes, you’re probably right. Abdi would be more likely to keep it to himself or to just tell Carlos that it annoys him. *then nods at David’s other assumptions* Definitely not Hanna and Jonas. They like being amongst people way too much. For them it’s enough if the other one is also there. And Amira surely thought about this in advance, she knew what she was getting into, she won’t get cabin fever. *thinks about who they forgot and then says* And Sam is always in too much of a good mood. I mean: really all the time. Can’t really imagine her getting annoyed at some point.

David: *looks at him in amusement when he also tells him his reasoning for the others and nods at everything* *then laughs quietly* I think that’s all there is to say about this. You really have a good overview, oh man… *takes another sip and then says* Okay, let’s wait and see. We still have a few days… *keeps quiet for a moment and then changes the topic* Did Mia already tell you that Hans wants to cook for all of us on Sunday? This time, he explicitly mentioned that you and I are also supposed to come! *still remembers the cooking night where Alex and he had been excluded and now thinks that on nights where Hans doesn’t want to include them, they could actually spend them together in the future*

Alex: *shakes his head in amusement* Woohoooo, I have the overview. *but then nods when David says to wait and see* *then nods again* Yes, she told me. We’re really living up to the fact that we joined the group later. Even Hans can no longer deny my existence… *shrugs one shoulder when David looks at him questioningly* Oh, I think he doesn’t really like me… but only because he loves Mia so much, I think. A little like a mother who is worried that her child is taken away from her. *also thinks about the night where Hans had explicitly only invited the people from the flatshare* *thinks that he’ll soon be out of this, anyways* Well, once Mia is in Madrid, that’s not gonna be an issue, anyways. Then he doesn’t have to pretend to accept me.

David: *looks at Alex questioningly when he talks about joining the group later and about Hans and then immediately gets an explanation* *somehow has a thousand questions in his head because he feels like he can’t really estimate the situation as Hans rarely gives him the feeling of not being welcome – apart from his attempt at a more serious conversation in the beginning* *therefore shrugs at first when he hears Alex’ words before he says* Well, I’m not aware of thaaaat much. I can’t really judge the situation. I think he just likes it when his flock is around him and he doesn’t like it if some of them get lost. If Matteo and I are at my place for a few days, he asks really often when we’ll show up at the flatshare again. I think he also does that with Mia, right? They have this WhatsApp group for their flatshare… So if I were you, I wouldn’t take it too personal. He probably just wants everyone to be at home. *looks at him from the side when he talks about Madrid and grins slightly* Maybe you should still just come over to the flatshare more often. You can come visit Matteo and me. Would be interesting to see Hans’ reaction when he realizes that you’re also there without Mia. Besides, it’s only three months where she’s gone. After that, he would probably continue to bug her about it whenever she spends a few days at your place. *shrugs* I don’t think that Hans is the type of person who just pretends to accept someone. He’s quite clear about what he wants. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said that he didn’t want us there at that one cooking night.

Alex: *listens to David attentively* *thinks about whether Hans had ever been unwelcoming and thinks that David is probably right* Yeah, well, we really are at my place more often than at the flatshare… it just lends itself, you know? *is a little surprised when David invites him* *has to smirk a little* Do you think our bond is ready for making real plans and not just for accidental run-ins in the hallway? *grins, but then nods briefly* But yes, why not? *but then thinks about when that is* But that time is also your surgery and recuperation period, right? Do you really want to have people around you all the time?

David: *nods when Alex says that it lends itself that they spend more time at his place and grins slightly* More alone-time, of course. *then laughs when Alex mentions their bond and shrugs* You said that you barely have any contact with the people from your old year… but you’re reading a book with the title “conversations with friends”… so far, you’ve never really rejected a conversation with me… so I’ll just foolishly make the assumption that you are interested in further deepening our /bond/… *makes air quotes* …so yeah, I do think that we’re ready for making real plans… otherwise we really won’t see each other much – apart from accidental run-ins in the hallway and in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom… *then smiles when he agrees* Cool… *then grins again slightly when he mentions the surgery and the recuperation period* I think that I’ll be glad to have /normal/ people around me every now and again and not only the ones who constantly fuss over me once I’m feeling a little better again…

Alex: *listens to him in amusement when he talks about their bond* *thinks that David is a real phenomenon, because he usually doesn’t talk much, either, but as soon as it gets personal, he uses a lot of words to express himself* *nods slowly and with a smirk and only says* Yes, I also think that we’re ready. *then laughs at his last words* “Normal” people that don’t fuss over you? Should I mention that you told me that in front of Matteo and Hans? *takes another sip of hot chocolate* No, but I get it. It can be really exhausting if people worry about you like that. *looks at him in amusement* How much “care” do I have to expect when I give you the injection?

David: *grins when he hears his question* You won’t be able to stop Hans, even if you told him… neither with my sister… or Matteo… *briefly presses his lips together and then says hesitantly* Matteo knows that he’s sometimes too worried about me… but somehow it’s also okay for me… I think it would be the same if it were the other way round… *shrugs and says* You can’t just turn off your worries… I don’t want to shut him out or forbid him to worry. I do want to take him serious… and it’s not that bad… *then laughs briefly when he mentions the injection and runs a hand over his face* No clue, to be honest. Maybe he’ll be really cool, maybe not. I’ll talk to him about it again beforehand…

Alex: *listens to him when he talks about Matteo and somehow recognizes himself in it* *would also be worried about Mia, but knows that Mia would probably mind that more than David does, because Mia would think that it would undermine her independence* I don’t think being worried is that bad, it’s also a sign of affection. *then hears that David doesn’t know how Matteo will react* I guess you can talk to him about it as much as you want. When it’s time, he probably won’t be able to hold himself back. We’ll see.

David: *nods a little in relief that Alex seems to understand Matteo and that he doesn’t find it exaggerated* *really thinks that Matteo’s way of reacting to worries is sometimes a little worrisome and thinks that this is one of the reason why it’s important that the people in his life also take his worries serious instead of downplaying them* Yes, I agree. It basically just shows that I’m important to him. *then smiles slightly when Alex says that talking probably won’t help much* What matters is that you don’t screw up the injection because of it… *grins slightly and then asks* Why did you even have to do thrombosis injections? Did you have to be on bedrest for a longer period of time?

Alex: *watches him as he talks about Matteo* *but can’t really read him well enough, yet, to see that David is also worried about Matteo* Yes, definitely. *shakes his head* Don’t worry. If it gets too much, I’ll just kick him out. *then grins slightly at his question* I fell down the stairs, wasn’t really that bad, but I had a cast for a couple of weeks and had to do injections against thrombosis…

David: *shakes his head and laughs quietly* I don’t think that you can just kick him out so easily… but let’s wait and see… *really hopes that it won’t be so bad that Alex has to kick Matteo out because he also thinks that it’s important for Matteo to see with his own eyes that nothing is happening to him and that everything is okay* *that’s one of the main reasons he wants him there* *then listens to Alex when he tells him about his accident and nods* *then grins slightly* And since you are a tough guy you said that you can do it yourself and don’t want to constantly go to the doctor for that…

Alex: *also grins* Is he really that cool? Is he really such a tough guy? Or did the doctor maybe simply not give him a choice? *shakes his head* No, the doctor really gave me the choice, but I never had a problem with doing the injections myself, so I did it myself… *shrugs* The trick is to pretend that it’s not your leg. So with you, that really shouldn’t be a problem.

David: *gives him the secretary’s-office-look when Alex teases him, but then nods happily when he does get a serious answer* Be glad that you don’t have a problem with it. I wish I could say the same… then I wouldn’t have to go see a doctor every 3 to 4 weeks… *then grins when he tells him about his trick* I think I wouldn’t really have any problems with it, either, if it weren’t my own leg… sometimes I think that it might just need some practice or that you would just have to bring yourself to do it at first but then it would get better… *laughs quietly* But so far, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… *looks at him* Did it immediately go well? Or did you also have to bring yourself to do it at first?

Alex: *nods* Yes, I get it… unfortunately for you it’s permanent, I only had to do it for a couple of weeks. *then shakes his head* When the doctor showed me, I didn’t have any problems, when I had to do it at home for the first time, it was more difficult. But I got lucky and managed to get even the first injection done really well and it didn’t really hurt more than when the doctor did it, and afterwards I managed quite well… *looks at him and then asks a little more hesitantly* And what will it be like after the surgery? Do you still have to get injections that often?

David: *listens to him and really considers maybe asking the doctor to show him and to try it himself* *so far, has always gotten his injectins from a doctor, and only in the butt, and plans on closely observing Alex on Thursday* *nods at his words and takes another sip of hot chocolate* *exhales when he hears his next question and look over to him* *hesitates briefly but then shakes his head* It has to be adjusted afterwards – not because of the mastectomy… I… during the surgery I’ll also have my ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus removed, and therefore my body will produce less estrogen and will also need less testosterone. It will probably be changed from a 3-4 week rhythm to a 4-5-week rhythm… but like I said, it first has to be tested and takes some experimenting… *has turned a little red and is also a little restless and nervous because it’s so unusual to talk about this with someone other than Matteo or his sister* *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and takes another sip of his hot chocolate*

Alex: *listens to him interestedly and nods while he talks* *notices only afterwards that David is nervous and realizes that it had been really personal* But that sounds good. To have everything removed at the same time, I mean. And if that means fewer injections, then that’s even better, isn’t it? *looks at him questioningly for a moment* *doesn’t really like to admit when he’s a little insecure, but thinks that David deserves it after being so honest* I tried to do some research after you asked me about the injection. But somehow you don’t find a lot of information, or to be honest, a lot of vague information online… it always says that there are different options and it always says that everyone’s reaction is different and everyone deals with things differently… so if I say or ask something stupid, then just tell me, okay? I know that Sam annoyed you with her questions and… well… I don’t want to annoy you, okay?

David: *nods when Alex says that it sounds good* Yes, I agree. *is still a little nervous but also thinks that it’s somehow a good thing that Alex knows about it – that the others will also eventually learn of it somehow, even if it’s shortly after his surgery when they realize that he doesn’t only have scars on his chest but also on his abdomen* *is still a little lost in his thoughts when he suddenly hears Alex say something again but quickly looks at him and listens to him in concentration* *smiles while he listens to him because he’s so happy that Alex was trying to inform himself a little* *immediately shakes his head at the end of his little speech and reassures him* You don’t annoy me! *briefly runs his hand over his face and groans quietly* It was something completely different with Sam. First of all the tone of voice and the choice of words… and then… I don’t know, I felt like she didn’t ask because she’s really interested… because she’s really interested in /me/ but just for…sensationalism? I don’t know… I mean Carlos sometimes also has a very clumsy way of asking questions, but with him, it’s just obvious to me that he’s really interested. I mean, he also did some research and is super proud about his knowledge – that’s somehow… really nice! *shrugs* And yes, the stuff on the internet is sometimes a little misleading because every trans man is different. You can’t really generalize much. *finally gets to his point* But no, you don’t say anything stupid and I think it’s really cool that you tried to do some research! *thinks that sometimes he would also like to be able to do some research on Alex, because he still knows hardly anything about him*

Alex: *hears that he doesn’t annoy him and smiles slightly* *then nods slowly when he tells him about Sam and Carlos and can really understand his feelings about that* Yes, I understand that, with Carlos it’s about you, with Sam it’s somehow only about the topic itself. *nods again* Yes that was also my impression during research, that it’s all really depending on the individual. *then smiles a little more when he says that it’s cool that he did some research* Like I said, I tried. But I somehow also thought that it’s up to you what you want to tell me and what not. It’s also stupid to just read some stuff online and to expect it to apply to you. I also don’t want people to google “white, rich son” and think that this is who I am.

David: *nods when Alex summarizes the difference between Sam and Carlos so well* Exactly! *then listens to him again and nods again* Yes, that’s somehow true. But in the beginning it was really helpful when people already knew a little bit. It used to be a lot harder for me to talk about it… *thinks that at first it had really been a help to him that the people in his life had at least done a little bit of research, especially Matteo, but also Jonas, Hanna and Carlos, because until a few weeks ago, he wouldn’t really have known how to talk about it and that it was really helpful if they asked questions* *then realizes how much he has developed since then, how open he can now be with it – if he wants to – and that it’s also thanks to Matteo and his friends, who have simply made it easy for him* *has to smirk a little at the end of Alex’ speech and is then grateful for Alex’ words so that he also gets a chance to ask a question* So what would one have to google instead to find out who you are? *laughs quietly* Yes, okay, you can really forget about google in that context… but I can’t just ask: “Alexander Hardenberg – who are you? What’s your favorite color? What are your biggest secrets?” *makes a dramatic voice while he says that but then grins again* You really are a little mysterious! And we’re always only talking about me! One day I demand a return of the favor and then I want more details… otherwise that deeper bond thing won’t work out… *grins even more to hide his nervousness and insecurity a little, because he doesn’t know if Alex even wants to talk about himself* *reaches for his mug again*

Alex: *tilts his head slightly when he asks what one would have to google* *isn’t sure if he and David are already in a place where he wants to tell him very personal things about him* *likes him the most out of all the people here, but still hasn’t really known him for that long* *it just usually takes him a while until he can estimate how people think of him* My favorite color is light blue. *doesn’t add that it’s because it’s Mia’s eye color* *then hears him talking about the deeper bond again and knows that he’s right, even though he says it jokingly* It’s still too soon for my deepest of secrets. But how about I tell you that I have a really big fear of loss. Really badly. It has to do with a lot of things, and my therapist says that it’s actually a good thing that Mia will go to Madrid, because I can learn a lot from that. But actually, I’m only scared.

David: *smiles when Alex tells him his favorite color but then says with a smirk* That’s a really good start. And a good favorite color… *takes a sip of hot chocolate and doesn’t really know if he might have been too straightforward* *really dislikes it a little to always use the term “bond” because it sounds as if they were planning all of this, but sometimes he can’t really stop himself from making a few jokes about it – even though the line between seriousness and fun is usually quite fluid* *therefore nods when Alex says that it’s too soon for his biggest of secrets and murmurs* It’s okay… *was actually about to say that it had only been a joke and that he doesn’t want to convince or urge him into anything when Alex already continues* *listens to him and feels his heartbeat pick up when he realizes how open Alex is right now* *didn’t really expect that and at first doesn’t really know what he should say* *eventually clears his throat and quietly says* Ummm… okay… that’s a really good start for a deeper bond… *but immediately gets serious again* Thanks for telling me! I… I don’t know what to say… fear of loss must surely suck and I can understand that you’re afraid that Mia is leaving… and you probably already know every “but” that I could tell you now and rationally speaking, you know that I’m right, but that doesn’t change anything about your fears… so… you’ll just get a thanks for telling me. *knows from his dysphoric phases that rational tips and thoughts aren’t really much use and just hopes that this might also apply to fear of loss* *smiles slightly and looks at Alex insecurely because he doesn’t know if he found the right words*

Alex: *thinks that it might have been too much for David, after all, when he doesn’t say anything at first* *then smiles slightly when he mentions the bond again* *was just about to make up some excuse so that he can disappear and so that David doesn’t have to respond when he does say something* *listens to him and at first doesn’t really know what he’s feeling right now* *but then realizes that he feels understood and smiles slightly* Yes, rational thought rarely helps with that. *slightly shrugs one shoulder* Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s worse, so I’m working on it... and of course Mia helps a lot. *his expression softens when he thinks about her* You probably know that, right? *but then looks at David again* *smiles slightly when he realizes that he really trusts him* You’re quite all right, David Schreibner.

David: *at one point notices that Alex is smiling a little and just hopes that it’s a sign that he said something right* *then smiles even more when Alex confirms that rational thought doesn’t help and also nods at his next words* *sees the soft expression he has when he’s talking about Mia and immediately has to think of Matteo and that he probably feels the same when he thinks about him* *nods when he asks if he knows what it’s like, even though he doesn’t know what exactly he’s referring to, but could actually nod at everything* Yes… for me it’s also sometimes better and sometimes worse with my dysphoria… on good days the feeling that Matteo’s there and that I’m no longer alone helps. On bad days nothing really helps… then I would preferably just hide somewhere. *stares into his almost empty mug* *then hears Alex’ next words and smiles immediately* *shrugs and murmurs* I’m trying my best… *is really happy that apparently Alex does trust him at least somewhat and that they’re sitting here talking so openly* *grins slightly and then says* And you’re apparently a lot more than google would spit out for “white rich son”… *looks at him and hopes that this wasn’t too much of a joke and that Alex knows that he’s grateful that he told him something so personal*

Alex: *nods when he’s talking about his dysphoria* *somehow understands it, even though he can’t really relate to being uncomfortable in your own body* And is that what you do? Hide yourself? *takes the last sip of his hot chocolate and laughs slightly* Yeah, well, you’re more than a “gay trans teen” as well, right? *briefly looks over to the lake and then back at David* Somehow, everyone’s more than their labels, right? Matteo isn’t just a “gay stoner kid” and Jonas is more than “political woke white guy”… *then sees Matteo coming towards them from the jetty* Looks like you’ll be wanted in a second…

David: *shrugs and says* Yes, sometimes I do… I used to do it more often than now… *sighs quietly* In the past, I often just ran away and… yes, I hid. Until I felt better. But… *shrugs* … I promised Matteo to not just run away again. Hiding at home is okay, but no more running away. But even the thing with hiding is getting better… *smiles slightly* After all, I’ve been sitting here with a hoodie for three nights despite this heat… I’d say: At the moment I’m facing my fears, even though it’s difficult. *looks at him* And to some extent, you do that as well by letting Mia go. You could also ask her to stay… or just go to Madrid with her for those three months… *then nods when he’s talking about the labels* Yes, you’re right. But it’s not just that you put labels onto other people – often you also put labels onto yourself because you’re less vulnerable if other people only see the label… and then you decide for yourself who’s allowed to peel off the label and who isn’t… maybe it also depends on who even tries to make an effort and wants to look under the label… *laughs quietly* Sorry, I didn’t mean to get philosophical… *then also looks toward the jetty and smiles when he sees Matteo*

Alex: *nods slightly when he says that he often ran away in the past* *smiles slightly* Yes, it’s a little different when suddenly someone’s waiting for you. *sighs slightly and nods* Yes to face the fear. That sometimes works better, and sometimes not so well. *then listens to him when he’s talking about labels and nods* Yes, a label is also a form of protection, and not always a bad thing, it can also help to make you feel like you belong somewhere, but it can also hide a lot, that’s true. I think ultimately labels aren’t important or don’t say enough. But I get why it helps some people* *grins slightly when he apologizes* Why not? *then sees that Matteo is now within earshot* Hey… *sees Matteo grin and nod at him: “Hey.”* *sees him ruffle through David’s hair almost in passing and hears him say: “I’m hungry… do you also want something?”* *shakes his head* I don’t, thanks.

David: *laughs slightly when he asks again* Because I haven’t looked far enough under your label to know if you want that!? *then also sees that Matteo has now reached the cabin and smiles* Hey… *slightly leans into his hand when he ruffles his hair but then gets his hair back into order immediately afterwards* *has to grin when he says that he’s hungry but then nods when he asks if they also want something* Sure! *then turns back to Alex after Matteo disappeared into the cabin and just continues with the topic because Alex had already answered in detail and is therefore apparently interested in the topic* Yes, the label either helps you to feel like you belong, but it can also help isolate yourself. And I agree with you, they don’t really say enough, but I still think they’re important! It is also a form of self-protection – like a wall. Stop! Until this point you’re allowed to see me, but no further! And whoever wants to see more just has to put in a little effort to be allowed to look over the wall.

Alex: *grins slightly in amusement when David puts his hair back into order and Matteo disappears into the cabin* Umm… does he know what you want? Oh, why do I even ask? Of course he knows. *laughs slightly but then gets serious again when David picks the topic back up* *nods* Yes, that’s what I mean. Labels are somehow both, good and bad. Good as a protection and for identification, but bad because it also isolates you and also limits you to some extent, right? Just by using labels in the first place, others already have to put in more effort, right? And hey, I do that as well, I know that, and sometimes it’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s also a bad thing.

David: *looks a little confused for a second when he hears Alex’ question about the food, but then laughs quietly and nods* *then repeats Alex’ words with a grin* Of course he knows… *then listens to Alex and says* But you decide it for yourself how much it limits you from a person and how it isolates you. Let’s take you as an example and really use the label of “white rich son”. For Mia you’re certainly a lot more. Mia has probably peeled the label off completely and can see everything. I’m just scratching the surface and I’m curious to know what you want to show me! But I’m scratching. Because at some point I thought that I would like to know what’s hidden underneath your label. But there are surely people who aren’t really interested. And why should you open up to them and make yourself vulnerable!? *has to think about the people from his old school and doesn’t even want to imagine how much they would have hurt him had he also opened up to them*

Alex: *slowly nods at his words* Yes, of course, you’re right. You just filter in advance. Who’s worth it? Who do I allow to get close? *shrugs one shoulder* But if all those labels didn’t exist… if there weren’t any prejudices about being rich or about being trans, then we would meet people completely without bias. *somehow has to smile a little about himself, because he definitely recognizes Mia in that line of thought and because he wouldn’t have said something like that half a year ago* Just imagine, you would have met Matteo and hadn’t been scared of what he might think when he sees that you’re wearing the label “trans”. Wouldn’t that have been a lot more chill for you? *shrugs* I mean, I still agree with you, don’t get me wrong. But yeah, there are always two sides, aren’t there?

David: *nods when Alex understands his words and when he repeats them* Exactly! *then continues to listen to him and briefly presses his lips together* *shakes his head slightly* Of course that would have been more chill… but that’s an ideal conception that unfortunately has nothing to do with reality… of course you would like everyone to be tolerant and enlightened – that would be great. And it would probably really be easier to reach that ideal conception if everyone would just take off their labels and you could maybe see that many people have similar fears or desires. But not everyone would go along with that, ever! There are always some assholes that would make use of exactly that, this vulnerability… *takes a deep breath and shakes his head* *laughs quietly and then says* Sorry, that sounds totally bitter. I just had a really horrible experience at my old school… it was just… I just felt really bad because of it… And I basically only realized that there are people that are really interested in what’s behind that label after I came to Berlin. So I also know both sides, sure…

Alex: *nods and listens to him in concentration* *has to smirk again when David says that it’s an ideal conception, because that’s usually something that he accuses Mia of* *therefore quickly says* Sure, you’re right. That’s really an ideal conception. But sometimes it might still be helpful to remember that. *shakes his head* That doesn’t sound bitter, you simply had your own experience. It’s only natural to draw your conclusions from that. *then sees Matteo coming back out of the cabin again, two sandwiches in one hand, obviously for him, and a plate with two sandwiches for David in the other one* *sees him put them down in front of David, press a quick kiss to his lips and then turn around again to leave and hears him say: “Have fun, see you later!”* See you… *looks after him for a moment and then back at David*

David: *thinks about what Alex said about ideal conceptions and slightly tilts his head* *doesn’t really know what good that would do and has to think about it a little more* *then nods at his next words* Yes, that’s true… and obviously the experience at my old school shaped me more than the experience I made in Berlin, as I just realized in my little speech… that’s actually a pity… but… *stops when Matteo comes back out and grins slightly when he sees how much food he has* *briefly puts his hand to the back of his neck when he leans down for a quick kiss, runs his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, smiles and murmurs a quiet “thanks” against his lips* *then lets go of him and looks after him with a smile* See you later. *then turns back to Alex and continues* But what I’d really like to know… *grins slightly* I’ve always felt like /you/ were much more closed off than I am – that you’re hiding much more behind your label. How come that now you’re the one that’s making a plea against labels and instead for ideal conceptions!? *laughs quietly and reaches for his plate* *holds it out to Alex* You really don’t want anything? Both of them are too much for me, anyways…

Alex: *laughs slightly when he hears David’s question* I like having the opposite standpoint… *slightly shakes his head* No, I simply learned somehow that gridlocked thoughts and views aren’t always good, I think… I’m not that big on ideal conceptions, either, I’m also realistic, but it’s not a bad thing to sometimes think about this, is it? *looks at the plate and considers briefly* Maybe half of one, thanks… *takes one half of the cheese sandwich*

David: *throws him a small secretary’s-office-look at his words about the opposite standpoint, but then listens to him further* *nods* Yes, I guess that everyone’s doing that automatically, depending on what kind of experiences they had. Some experiences confirm the inner realist, others the inner idealist… *smiles when Alex wants one of the sandwiches, after all, and takes half of the salami sandwich for himself before putting the plate back on the table* *takes a bite and chews* *then sees Mia coming from the jetty to the cabin and grins slightly* *imitates Alex* Looks like you’ll be wanted in a second… *laughs quietly* Matteo probably told Mia: “Hey, they’re still sitting in front of the cabin working on their bond…”

Alex: *nods* Yes, absolutely. It’s always about your own experiences. But it’s also about making yourself aware of what your own experiences are doing to you. *takes a bite off his cheese sandwich and grimaces slightly* What else did he put on that? *was just about to peek under the cheese when David says that he’ll be wanted soon* *looks up and sees Mia and smiles automatically* *then also laughs* Probably… Mia is totally proud of me… *slightly grins at him* So don’t screw it up for me and turn out to be a complete idiot, after all.

David: *laughs quietly at Alex’ words and shakes his head* *then looks at him in apology because his statement wasn’t really anything to laugh about* I think our therapists have the same approach… *then gets serious again* But yes, it’s true. But sometimes I find it hard to remember that what I’m feeling is based on my experiences and didn’t just come out of nowhere. Often I only remember that afterwards, but in the situation itself I can’t really reflect on that. *then frowns when Alex asks about the cheese sandwich and reaches for the plate on the table* *has a hunch and laughs quietly when he lifts the cheese* Sorry… umm… whipped cream, mustard and ketchup… it’s an inside joke… would you rather like salami – there’s only butter underneath it. *holds the plate out to him* *sees that Mia is now closer and doesn’t get the chance to ask what Mia is proud of* *hears his next words and pffs quietly before Mia reaches them* *sees her stop in front of the table with a smile and really hears her ask: “Na? Are you working on your bond?”* *sees her grin and also has to grin a little, but quickly gets serious again and shakes his head* No, not today. Today we’re having a philosophical, socio-critical and psychological digression!

Alex: *even laughs as well* Might be. Therapists can sometimes be alike… *then nods* Yes, that’s also somehow understandable, during a situation the feelings take over instead of the mind. *grimaces again when he tells him what else is on the sandwich and puts it back on the plate* You do realize that you two sometimes seem very odd to outsiders, right? *picks up the other half of the salami sandwich with a chuckle* *then looks at Mia with a smile when she reaches them* *grins at her question and even more at David’s answer* *sees Mia grin and nod and hears her say “I see” and then “and of course, that doesn’t help your bond, at all… I actually didn’t want to disturb, but I wanted to take a little walk and wanted to ask if someone wants to join?”* *looks at David and asks* Do you mind if we continue our philosophical, socio-critical and psychological discussion another time?

David: *nods at Alex’ words about feelings and the mind* *then laughs at his words about Matteo’s and his’ habits and shrugs* *then says with a grin* If you peel off the label, all of that has a deeper meaning… *now picks up the other half of the cheese sandwich and takes a bite* *still thinks that it tastes weird but somehow good and keeps eating* *shakes his head very seriously at Mia’s question about the bond and says* No, not at all… *but then grins* *then hears that Mia wants to take a walk and shakes his head at Alex’ question* No, no problem… it’s okay… I’ll just go find Matteo and break it to him that the whipped cream under the cheese wasn’t really your thing… *grins slightly and lifts his hand in goodbye when the two disappear toward the forest*

Alex: *laughs and then nods* Your label of being a weird couple? Let’s see if I’ll ever get that far… *then gets up when David says that he doesn’t mind* *grins slightly* You do that, we don’t want him to think too much of me after all… *then also lifts his hand in goodbye and then takes Mia’s hand before they go towards the forest*

(next play)

[artnerd1123]

A Familiar World

Pen Pals (pt 1) ——————————————

Just a bit of book exchange and small talk between a couple sorcerers. 

The masterpost for AFW can be found here. The chapter post for AFW can be found here.

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whattup belle n @vaaloirr are back at it again with another joint chapter, ft alex n journ!!! vaal wrote the letters by alex, and i wrote the ones by journ! these were rlly fun to write, so y’all will prolly see more in the future :>

hope y’all enjoy!!! 

Dear Journal

I hope you’re having a good week, over there, hope life’s treating you well. I’m here with my book recommendation, as usual. I hope you like this one. It’s an intriguing little piece called “Forgotten Shoals”, a story about a small group of people, mostly mercenaries I think, getting shipwrecked and separated on a very strange island. I was a little lost? About halfway through? The story’s kind of too vague for its own good at certain points, but overall it was pretty good. It’s in a pretty old time period, when there were still kings and stuff, so that’s pretty interesting, how they handle that. It’s only two books, but they’re long ones. They make for fun animated book nights, especially if you’re watching in a dark room. It really helps the atmosphere, so there’s that to keep in mind.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Thanks so much for the rec! It came at a great time, I’d just finished with the last series. I’ll be sure to let you know what I think of this one. I’ll work them into my schedule sometime. Probably at midnight. That’s the best time to read, haha. Maybe we’ll both get confused, and we can compare notes. Life’s ok over here. I finally decided to get better acquainted with my roommate. My book rec for you comes from him, actually. It’s a book of really old questor legends- maybe you’ve read it before? Sorry if you have! He called it “Legenday legacies.” There’s a whole series of them. They don’t really go in any order, but the oldest are marked first. I’ve only read a couple, but they’re really cool. It’s best to have them animated, too. My roommate said they were old oral stories that someone finally decided to write down, so the animation has some really neat extra details. This letter got a little long, haha. Hope you’re doing ok over in your town!

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, midnight’s the best time for a spooky book, haha. And thank you for the rec! I actually had the first book when I was a kid, but I forgot it when I left home. I would love to read it again, and to read the other books too… I’ll definitely try to snag them the next time I’m over there. I always meant to go back to them, so thanks for the reminder. And I’m glad you’re getting along with your roommate, it wouldn’t be very fun if you weren’t, haha. I couldn’t really picture myself with a roommate, me and Lucy is just fine. And I’m doing fine, though things are a little hectic over here right now. Someone says they saw a monster nearby recently, which… I’m pretty certain was just a random wolf they got spooked by? It was late. But you know. Rumors are a hard snowball to stop once they get rolling. Hopefully it’ll all get sorted out. Anyway, I’m running out of room on the paper, so I gotta call it here, haha. Have a good one.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Oh, nice! Hopefully the next ones are a good read. And I get leaving books at home on accident. I had to leave a bunch of mine when I left home, too. I got the important stuff! But you can’t quite replace a lifetime of books overnight, haha. At least we have libraries and book merchants, right? Roommate life isn’t for everyone. I’m glad you and Lucy are getting along well at your place. Though the rumors sound rough. It’s hard when a whole town is going off about something. Sorry you’re dealing with those. Hopefully they’ll quit when they catch whatever the critter is, haha. Could make for a town legend, right? I’ve heard plenty of those. They’re certainly something. Before I run out of paper, I actually have one somewhat unrelated question. Does Lucy ever run around the apartment at 3am for no reason? My roommate’s familiar is a cat, and he does that. I’m not sure if it’s a familiar thing or a cat thing. We didn’t have any cats in the house growing up. Hope this letter finds you well.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, a lifetime of books is not the easiest thing to replace, haha. And the rumors aren’t really rough, so much as annoying. It’s a merchant town, so once monster rumors start, everybody’s gotta hold up while some people go out and find whatever it was. They’re very on edge when the topic of monsters is brought up. But hey, what can you do. Hopefully it’ll be a boring town legend at the end of the day, haha. And as far as the 3am thing, yes. All the damn time, every night. Without fail. My mom had a few cats when I was growing up, and I can confirm that it’s a cat thing. They just do that. I don’t know why, you can have the laziest cat in the world and they’ll still sprint around at full speed at 3am. It’s actually kind of hilarious. Also, if we’re gonna be trading questions, I actually had one… Your roommate is a questor, right? I was wondering if you could maybe ask for a few questor tips from him for me, if that's alright. Have a good one.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

I mean, a legend’s a legend, right? But I do hope whatever it is doesn’t bother the townsfolk much. We used to have some problems with woodsy critters back at home. I don’t know if they’re still having issues now, but sometimes wolves can get pretty bold, haha. And that’s good to know. It is pretty funny to just hear my roommate’s familiar sprinting around outside my door at Revaew awful hours of the night. I just have to make sure he doesn’t wiggle his way into my room. He’ll go curl up on my bed to claim it and not move until 6am. Usually that’s not a problem because I stay up late, but it means I crash later during the day. Not so great when I'm in the middle of magic training, haha. I went and asked my roommate about questor tips for you. I didn’t know questors were actually a separate class of sorcerer, so that made for an interesting conversation! He told me that you should keep an eye on the questing board- you have one in town, right?- and to keep some sort of compass/map on you among your supplies. Make sure to pack a snack and water if you don’t already. If it’s a fetch quest, make sure to find the quest giver beforehand to check for any special conditions. He said a bunch of other stuff, too, but half of it sounded like he was trying to be a mother hen. The guy’s a bit of a softie. I could send you my notes with my next letter if you’d like to see all of them.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, yeah… I still think it’s just a wolf. Or maybe a bear. Who knows. Honestly, I would be more shocked if people weren’t bothered by this, merchants are just such uppity people. At least the ones around here. You definitely don’t wanna crash during magic training, yeah. I remember when I was training with my uncle, when I used to live with him, I was not good at keeping myself in check at all. Most of the time not spent practicing was spent napping because I would use all my energy trying to get this one spell, and then just pass out. I was young and excited, to be fair. He got me out of that habit. And maybe you should let the little familiar claim your bed sometime, there’s probably room for both of you, haha. Y’know, the more you talk about him, the more I think he and Lucy would get along great. You didn’t know questors were another class of sorcerers? I mean, I guess the distinction isn’t exactly obvious, now that I think about it. And we do actually have a questing board! Though it’s a little bare lately. Mostly just odd jobs, not much else. Any nearby dungeons have apparently decided to be quite shy, haha. Be sure to tell your roommate that the advice is appreciated, he sounds like a nice guy. And I would love to see your notes! If you’re good with it, that is.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

Haha, maybe I will. It’s sort of weird sleeping in a room by myself right now. I have had a lot of siblings. Maybe the company will do me some good. And maybe we can have them meet up the next time you’re in town. I’m sure my roommate would let me take his familiar out. His name is Roo. He’s a shy little guy, but the library is quiet enough that he’d do ok. Just have to find him a fairy tale book and he’s all set, haha. As for magic training, that sounds so cool! Having your uncle train you sounds so exciting. My old mentor sort of took me under her wing because I was trespassing on her woods. She’s a strict teacher, but I’m really grateful to her. She taught me a lot, and gave me an amplifier a while ago. We still exchange letters and I still try my best to stick to what she told me. Learning magic is hard work, but I’m willing to reach for it. Guy’s got a dream, you know? And, for the record, I didn’t grow up in a very magical place. I think my magic mentor was the only sorceress in the entire area of my hometown, haha. Totally different story in this town. There’s lots of sorcerers- my roommate included. He’s pretty cool. Buys me coffee and gives me training tips sometimes. Anyways, all this to say I’ve attached a copy of the notes. Sorry if the ink is a little faded. I wanted to try out a duplication spell I’ve been practicing, and I don’t know if it took all the way. Simple spells can be hard for me, but I’m working on it, haha. Hope you and Lucy are doing well.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Yeah, I bet the change from “a lot of siblings” to “one roommate and his familiar” is a bit jarring. I wouldn’t really know? I was an only child. To be honest, I always wondered what having siblings was like, maybe you could tell me sometime? If that’s good with you? Maybe when we introduce Roo and Lucy to each other. Roo is such a cute name by the way, I hope the little guy knows that, haha. As far as my uncle goes, he was a very good teacher! He knew a whole lot of spells, and still tried to learn even more. He was a show sorcerer, so he knew so much neat stuff… I kinda miss him, but you know. He’s got his career, and I wanted to be a questor. At least it helped me get used to travelling a lot, haha. Your teacher sounds super cool too, like? Meeting a sorcerer in the middle of the woods and getting taken under their wing? That’s some legend stuff, man. Awesome. My town wasn’t very magical either, but it wasn’t super unmagical? There were sorcerers here and there. Not enough to really call the town magical, though. It wasn’t a hotspot, I guess is what I’m trying to say. I heard it’s become even less so since I left, but I digress. Oh! And the notes were really great by the way! Thank you so much! And don’t worry about the faded ink, I’ve read more illegible, haha. I think you did a fine job. You’ll get better with practice! I believe in you! And we’re doing fine, though Lucy is getting a bit claustrophobic. I hope you guys are doing well too.

Sincerely, Alex

-

Dear Alex,

I apologize in advance if my handwriting gets messy. I’ve rewritten this letter at least three times now. My hand just tends to make absolute chicken scratch if I get too excited. That being said, you mentioned your uncle being a show sorcerer? How long has he been performing? How did he start? What category is he? Are all his shows the same or does he switch it up every time? What does he travel in? Sorry for all the questions, I’ll stop myself there. Show sorcerers are sort of an interest of mine. An aspiration, if you will, haha. Hearing that you worked with one sent my mind into overdrive. That’s so cool! Maybe we could practice spells together sometime. And a legend? Maybe. My mentor tells a lot of those. Sometimes I swear she’s telling an actual story that happened to her. She never confirms, though. I don’t know how much of legend material I am yet. I have to work on my magic some more. One day, though. It’ll happen. Especially if the notes weren’t as bad as I thought, haha. It’s progress! Also, we’ve got solidarity on non magic towns, haha. Glad we’ve both got somewhere that has more pizazz. Just a couple magic guys trying to make their way in the world, ammirite? Anyways, sorry about Lucy. Maybe taking her on a walk would help? We’re doing ok over here. My roommate has been painting scenes from the books we’ve animated. It’s pretty cool. And Roo seemed to like the idea of meeting Lucy! He was a tad nervous, but that’s the norm for him. I think he’d like having another cat friend. Maybe we can get together soon? I might have some sibling stories. Depends how much I remember that day, haha.

Signed, Journal Drapht

-

Dear Journal

Your handwriting’s fine, don’t worry. I’ve read worse. As for all your questions, uh… since he was a teenager, I never asked, I can’t remember the categories but he does a lot of stuff with legends, dragons, and dragon legends, they have the same themes, but he has a bunch of different shows, if that makes sense, and he travels in a little caravan with his familiar and a couple of his friends. I get being excited, it’s all good. Maybe we could have a Q&A the next time we see each other, haha. And I’m sure uncle Leo would love to meet and practice magic with you, but he’s really busy nowadays, so you might have to hold that thought for a bit. He’d have to find a gap in his schedule. You really need to introduce me to your mentor eventually, she sounds awesome. And I’m sure you’ll get a legend or two for yourself one day. I mean, nobody was born the star of one, am I right? And I wouldn’t really say my current town has more “pizazz”, but it’s definitely more tolerable than my old town, I guess. Some people were very opinionated there. Especi Yeah I took her on a quick walk through town before writing this letter, actually, and she’s feeling a lot better! Sometimes she just needs a little bit of fresh air like everybody else. I bet your roommate's paintings look great, I can’t paint to save my life, haha. Lucy’s a little nervous too about the meeting too, so I guess the feeling’s mutual. Hopefully we can all get together soon!

Sincerely, Alex

[simping-on-the-daily]

Favourite Lines in Each Hamilton Song

Because I'm bored

Only including songs that are in the original cast recording

Might do one for the deleted songs who knows

ACT 1

Alexander Hamilton: "And Alex got better but his mother went quick~"

Aaron Burr, Sir: "He looked at me like I was stupid, I'm NoT sTuPiD- / Who are you? Who are you? WhO aRe YoU?"

My Shot: "I think your pants look hot- / Oh, am I talking too late? Sometimes I get overexcited, shoot off at the mouth-" (My life in a nutshell)

The Story of Tonight: "LET'S HAVE ANOTHER ROUND TONIGHT-"

The Schuyler Sisters: "And Peggy! :D / I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me ;) / And when I meet Thomas Jefferson-"

Farmer Refuted: "My name is Samuel Seabury :D / iS hE iN jErSeY?"

You'll Be Back: "Oceans rise, empires fallllll!"

s Jefferson-"Right Hand Man: "If they tell my story I am either gonna die on the battlefield in glory or- / HERE COMES THE GENERAL! / Yo, LeT's StEaL tHeIr CanNonS-"

A Winter's Ball: "We're reliable with the LADIES! >:) / That's true C:"

Helpless: "All I have in my honor, a tolerance for pain, a couple of credits and my top notch brain~"

Satisficed: "I remember that night, I just might REWIND-" (That whole rewind section was fucking beautiful)

The Story of Tonight Reprise: "If Alexander can get married, ThErE's HoPe FoR oUr AsS aFtEr AlL!"

Wait For It: "Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes~ And we keep living anyway, we laugh and we cry and we break and we make our mistakes~ / I'm not standing still, I'm lying in waaaittttt!"

Stay Alive: "I'm a general, WHEEEEE! :D / Is go back to planting tobacco is Mount Vernon-"

Ten Duel Commandments: "Pick a place to die where it's high and dry!"

Meet Me Inside: "You shot him in the side- YES, HE YIELDS! / CALL ME SON O N E MORE TIME!"

That Would Be Enough: "Will you relish being a poor mans wife? Unable to provide for your life? :C"

Guns and Ships: "LaFaYeTtE-"

History Has Its Eyes on You: "I lead my men straight into a massacre, I witnessed their deaths firsthand~ / When I was young and dreamed of gloryyyy~ / You have no control: Who lives or dies, who tells your storyyyy"

Yorktown: "Immigrants, we get the job done. C: / Laurens is in South Carolina, redefining bravery (the way he sees bravery is cool alright)"

What Comes Next?: "aWeSoMe. WoW."

Dear Theodosia: "I'm dedicating everyday to you~ / We'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you / I'll make a million mistakes.... " (It's a really fucking cute song until you realize what happened to Phillip and Theodosia and then is just gets really fucking sad)

Non-Stop: "Why do you write like you're running out of time? / I was chosen for the Constitutional Convention :D / Bright young man- Yo, WHO THE F IS THIS? / Hamilton wrote the OTHER FIFTY-ONE!" (Also, those echoes after Eliza and Angelica say he will never be satisficed? Fucking flawless)

ACT 2

What'd I Miss?: "Gotta be in Monticello~ / Virginia my home sweet home I wanna give you a kiss~ / My friend James Madison, red in the face! (Jeffmads Jeffmads Jeffmads-) / Uh....France?"

Cabinet Battle One: "It's an outrageous demand, and it's two many damn pages for any man to understand!"

Take a Break: Phillip's rap (Fucking amazing I love him so fucking much)

Say No To This: "See, that was my wife you decided to- Fuuuuuc-"

The Room Where It Happened: "Meanwhile, Madison is grappling with the fact that not every issue can be settled like committee~ / Oh you get love for it, you get hate for it, you get nothing if you WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT WAIT-"

Schuyler Defeated: "I swear, your pride will be the death of us all-"

Cabinet Battle Two: "Did you forget Lafayette? Have you an once of regret! You accumulate power, you accumulate debt, yet in their moment of need, you forget?" (Yes I love Jefferson and the voice cracks???)

Washington on Your Side: "Look back at the Bill of Rights- WhIcH i WrOtE- / The emperor has no clothes~ >;)"

One Last Time: "George Washington's going hoomeee~"

I Know Him: "They will tear each other into pieces, Jesus Christ this will be fun! >:D"

The Adams Administration: "Washington can't help you now, no more Mr Nice President~"

We Know: "And we both know, what we know.....~"

Hurricane: "I couldn't seem to die..... Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it~"

The Reynolds Pamphlet: "Highlights! >:D / DaMn! / At least I was honest with our moneeyyyy~ / You ever seen somebody ruin their own life?" (I adore the autotone and music,,,, my favourite song alongside TWWWE,,,,)

Burn: "You've married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun~ / YOU, YOU, YOU-"

Blow Us All Away: "They don't exactly cover this subject in boarding school.... / Everything in legal in New Jersey / My name is Phillip, I am a poet, and I'm a little nervous but I can't show it"

Stay Alive Reprise: "Pa :D" (He sounds so happy to see his dad WHY LIN WHY)

It's Quiet Uptown: "His hair has gone, he passes everyday they saw he walks the length of the city~"

The Election of 1800: "And they say I'm a Francophile, at least they know I know where France is! D:< / Jefferson has my vote!- OH" (My baby looks so startled-)

Your Obedient Servant: "Sweet Jesus..... / PREPARE TO BLEED, good man" (I also love Burr)

Best of Wives, Best of Woman: "Well, I'm going to back to sleep" (Lin why)

The World Was Wide Enough: "Now, I did know this at the time, but we were near the same spot my son died IS THAT WHY- / I only had one thought before the slaughter, This man will not make an author of my daughter.... (Voice cracksss) / Can leave their fingerprints and RISE UP, I'm running out of time, I'm running and my times UP, WISE UP, EYES......up / He aims his pistol at the sky- WAIT! / Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and saints, it takes and it takes and it takes~ History obliterates, in every picture it paints, it paints me and all my mistakes~ When Alexander aimed at the sky, he may have been the first one to die, but I'm the one who paid for it~ I survived, but I paid for it / Now I'm the villain in your history....."

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?: "And.....I tried / But when you're gone, who remembers your name? Who keeps your flame?"

[queercapwriting]

Hey Cap! I don't think I ever told you but my gf and I (still blows my mind) have been dating for almost 11 months but she still hasn't told her parents because she's afraid of how her dad will react. I was wondering if you could maybe write a thing about Lena going to one of the superfriends and talking about how she can't tell her mother about Kara.

She brought a bottleof wine and her worst insecurities, and the vague hope that Alex wouldn’t hate herin a few hours.

Lena was alwaysworried – that she was one social misstep away from the people closest to herrealizing that they actually hated her, that there was nothing about her tolove.

Especially when sheasked for things. Anything, really. She was supposed to give and work hard andgive even more and work even harder. She wasn’t supposed to take.

But she was asking totake tonight, because all she’d texted Alex was “can we talk?” and as afollow-up – so she wouldn’t make up something benign, backing out of theconversation she really needed to have – she wrote, quick and hasty anddesperate – “it’s about Kara and my relationship, and my mother.”

Her mother.

If anyone in theircircle of friends understood, it would be Alex.

She didn’t know howshe’d wound up in a group of friends with mothers who were all either absent ordead, or – in her and Alex’s case – very much alive and very much thinking theyloved their daughters well, but in reality coming up short – very short – oh somany times, in oh so many ways.

But maybe it wasprecisely that – daddy issues, mommy issues, general parent and trauma andabuse issues – that brought them all together, that made them recognize eachother, really see each other whereother people couldn’t, or didn’t, or chose not to.

Which was why she wasknocking on Alex’s door, shaking hands and bottle of wine and Kara’s oldNational City University sweatshirt hugging her just right, just comfortingenough to give her the courage to not knock and run.

Alex tugged the dooropen with a lopsided grin and groaned in a way that Lena could never determinewhether Kara got it from her or she got it from Kara when they saw food ordrinks they loved.

“Oh my god you are the greatest person,” Alexsaid, taking Lena’s hand in one hand and the bottle of wine in the other andpulling her sister’s girlfriend inside.

Lena marveled at thetouch, the casual intimacy it implied. She knew that Alex knew by now that Lenawelcomed her touch, her hugs and her hand grasps and her hand on her arm, herknee, when they laughed together at Game Night, at the bar. But still, Lenamarveled at it every time.

The touch and theacceptance and the no strings attached.

“So talk to me,” Alexsaid, without preamble, as she opened the bottle of wine with a crisp pop.

“Um,” Lena gulped,drumming her fingers on Alex’s spotless counter top. “No Maggie tonight?”

“Working late.” Aghost of a grin passed over Alex’s lips as she poured a generous glass forLena. “And then she and James, Winn, and Kelly are grabbing a drink. Brainy andNia are probably going to join them, and then you know, it’ll be up to me tomanage all the hangovers.”

Lena grinned,remembering the last time they’d all gone out. Another night marked withmarveling of being accepted, being welcome, being… herself. Kara’s arm casuallydraped around her shoulders, or holding her from behind, or grasping her hand, gentleand perfect and right. And no oneminding, no one thinking anything of it except being happy for them, beinghappy that they finally admitted how they felt, that they finally kissed, forcrying out loud.

“So?” Alex repeated, tothe point but open. “Kara and your relationship and your mother.”

Lena’s eyes widenedslightly at the direct invitation – she should expect nothing less from thedirector of the DEO – and took a gulp of her wine.

“I don’t know how totell her,” Lena admitted, plunking down on the couch in a way that no oneoutside of this family she was growing would associate with the refinedbusiness woman-science genius Lena Luthor.

Alex sipped her wineand tilted her head, and Lena smiled slightly. She wondered what mannerisms shewas picking up from Kara, like Alex was picking up mannerisms from Maggie.

“How to tell…”

It was a gentle prompt– nothing Lena had been used to or understood until she fell into this family –and it unnerved her as much as it made her feel cared for.

“How to tell mymother. About Kara and me.”

Alex nodded, slow andunderstanding. Lena stared into her glass, worried that her face was turningred, worried that Alex would tell her she was being ridiculous, that she was agrown woman, that she and Kara had been together for almost a year and it was immatureand stupid and hurtful that she hadn’t figured out how to tell Lillian yet…

“Because Kara’s aSuper or because Kara is Supergirl?”

Lena chuckled at thepun, at Alex’s gentle way of asking if Lena was out to her mother.

She tossed her handsup, nearly sloshing her wine, and shrugged. “I don’t know. Both? She knows, shemust know, about me and Sam, and me and…” Lena’s eyes sparkled mischievously,just for a moment, a brief moment of bemusement in her pain and anxiety. “Well,me and just about every woman I was close with in boarding school…”

Alex raised her glasswith a grin, and Lena clinked them together with a shake of her head. “But thenagain, I didn’t tell her about Jack, either. I never told her who I was dating.I assume she knows, of course. That I’mbisexual, that I lean more towards women, that… I assume she knows. But we’venever discussed it, because we’ve never discussed my personal life beyond myapparently endless list of failures…”

She glanced up atAlex, then, not wanting to pry. Not wanting to make her talk about Eliza if shedidn’t want to. But she watched Alex’s eyes, and knew that Alex knew why Lenahad chosen her to talk to. And instead of calling her selfish, instead ofhating her for it, Lena marveled – again, again – as Alex just shifted to getmore comfortable on her part of the couch, settling in, leaning towards Lenainstead of away. Lena searched, hard, for signs of discomfort or annoyance. Shefound none.

It confused her, andit made her feel like she was flying, safe in Kara’s arms.

Alex sipped at herwine, long and thoughtful. “When I came out to my mom, I don’t think she wassurprised. I think she was… I don’t know, sad that I’d felt like I couldn’ttell her. I told her I didn’t want to disappoint her, and she… it was hard.”Alex downed more wine. “She hugged me, and she told me she loves me, and itfelt amazing. But it also was frustrating, because of course I felt like she’dbe disappointed. She’s been disappointed in me for most of my life, you know? Iwas never good enough, never took good enough care of Kara, or… of course Ithought she’d be upset, but she acted so sad and confused that I would thinkthat of her. And that was hard, because it was just… infuriating somehow, I don’tknow.”

Lena nodded. “Iunderstand that. I do.”

Alex smiled sadly. “Iknow you do. So. How much of it do you think it’s because she’s a Super and howmuch of it do you think is because she’s a woman?”

It was Lena’s turn tosmile. “Who knows? 50-50, 70-30? Sometimes it feels 100% like one or the other…but another part of me thinks, does she even deserve to know? About my personallife, about my loves and my wants? Has she earned those parts of me? Especiallywhen she might turn around that trust and hurt me with it?”

Alex nodded. “And yetall we want, still, is for them to tell us they love us and are proud of us.”

Lena let a tear, justa single one, drop from unblinking eyes.

Alex leaned over andsqueezed her hand. Lena squeezed right back.

“She doesn’t deservethe power to hurt you like she’s hurt you. But she’s got it, and it’s okay totake your time deciding what you want her to know. Because even if she doesn’tdeserve those parts of you, if you want to share with her, you should beallowed to do that. And know that we’ll all be here for you, whatever herreaction.”

Lena sniffledslightly. “You sound like your sister.”

“Good, I’m glad you’retalking to Kara about it, too.”

“I’m just scared thatit hurts her. Talking about it. I don’t want her to feel like I’m ashamed ofher, or like I’m hiding her.”

“But Lillian isterrifying and has also tried to kill Kara several times, so. Your hesitationis more than understandable.”

“Also what Kara says,”Lena chuckled. “She says she’ll wait as long as I need, and in the meantime wehave our own family, but I still worry. That she’s protecting me from her hurt.”

Alex nodded, chewingat the inside of her cheek. “And if she is, then it’s her job to tell you that.You’ve got to take care of each other, and that includes telling each other allof it, good, bad, and indifferent.”

“When did you becomethe sage old lesbian?” Lena narrowed her eyes, but the corners of her lips gaveher away.

Alex laughed. “Maggiehas an odd effect on me.”

“It suits you.”

“And Kara suits you.It’s no one’s decision but yours, Lena, but whatever it is, we’re all here. Ipromise. Okay?”

Lena smiled, becauseokay. Yes. She did believe it. Maybe for the first time ever.