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#and VERY easily overlooked so !
shift-shaping · 2 months
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where did your hips go
enaste finally reaches her clan.
rating: t
pairing: solavellan
previous fics | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
By the time Enaste finally saw the first wolf statues, she was starving. She should have arrived much earlier, but after an intense round of screaming slurs at her, one of her captives had started losing blood at an alarming rate and she'd needed to stop to heal him. And gag him. Turns out dragging two half-dead men on a couple of tired horses took much longer than she would have liked. She'd brought a few pieces of jerky with her, but it wasn't much and she'd eaten them hours ago.
The smell of fish cooking over a fire nearly sent her into a frenzy. Klein, the man she hadn't felt the need to gag, groaned hungrily. She saw the sails of her clan's aravels peeking up from the trees.
Moments later, three hunters emerged and ran to help her. The sight of them made her heart ache, but it was a happy ache, the kind of ache that comes from missing someone so much for so long. They greeted her, hugged her, told her how happy they were to see her. One of them started trying to catch her up on happenings in the clan, but was interrupted by Klein's groaning.
Only then did the hunters really take in Enaste's hostages. Cole had apparently disappeared again, leaving Enaste to look especially impressive with two captives and two horses behind her.
"Wow, no wonder you took so long to get here," said the youngest of the hunters, a freckled girl named Aridhel. "Are those the mercenaries we've been dealing with?"
Enaste nodded. Her voice rasped. "Some of them, yes. They have information, but they're in rough shape and need healing first."
More members of her clan came out of the trees to greet Enaste as the hunters led the horses into camp. A few of the children escaped their carer's hold and bolted to her, hugging her and yelling about recent events and asking her questions so quickly she couldn't respond. Enaste laughed and knelt down to their level, taking care to greet every one by name.
She knew them, by face and name and voice, because she had seen them before anyone else in this world; nearly every child in the clan, all but the very oldest and very youngest, Enaste had delivered herself. One particularly excited boy grabbed her hand and bounced up and down. "'Naste, 'Naste!" He said quickly, and she laughed as she turned to him.
"Yes, Inar? You're very impatient today."
"I'm four! I just had my name day!"
"That you did! You've gotten very big. How was it?"
He smiled at her compliment and slowed in his bouncing. "It was so fun! Lahalaan made crab cakes and sweet cheese on toast!"
Another child, a smaller girl named Nellasa, started to pull on Enaste's other hand. "Inaarr stop talking. 'Naste just got here!"
Enaste turned to the girl, smirking. "What? Didn't you like the crab cakes too, Nella?"
"I guess," she drew the word out and pulled Enaste's hand harder, unbalancing her and making her laugh. "But come on! You have to see what I made with Elder Shora!"
"You used too many colors!" Inar replied, annoyed at her interruption.
"Elder Shora said there's no such thing!"
Enaste felt footsteps behind her. "Children, please, let your First at least come into camp." She would recognize that voice anywhere --confident, steady, wizened with age but still deep and strong.
Enaste stood carefully, and turned to face her Keeper. Her breath caught in her chest. Keeper Deshanna was as beautiful as ever, her long white hair plaited into crisp, oiled braids decorated with trinkets and adorned with silver halla horns that graced her head like a crown.
"It is so good to see you, da'len."
Enaste bowed, eyes closed, momentarily too overwhelmed to speak. When she straightened, her Keeper pulled her into a warm, loving embrace. She smelled like the herbs they burned to keep away mosquitoes, and the campfires they lit for warmth at night, and the oils worked into her hair to keep the strands in place. She was shorter than Enaste by several inches, so Enaste had to be wary of the horns on her head.
They stepped apart, and Deshanna kept her hands on Enaste's arms. Her vallaslin was extensive and vibrant, kept fresh from a new application just two years before. It was a more advanced version of Enaste's own --where the mark of Mythal covered only Enaste's forehead, on her Keeper it extended across her cheeks and through her lips, cutting a long line towards her chest.
"You are thin," Deshanna observed, and Enaste laughed nervously. "You need some real food, none of that shemlin dogfeed. Come. We have fresh trout and oysters."
Enaste's mouth watered; she was momentarily so hungry she lost her train of thought, but still managed to thank her Keeper profusely.
Keeper Deshanna looked over Enaste's shoulder, towards the horses. She narrowed her eyes, then nodded slowly. "These are some of the mercenaries that have been harassing us, aren't they?"
Enaste sighed. "Yes. I encountered a group of them earlier and managed to take these two captive."
"Were you hurt?" Deshanna asked, and without hesitating, ignoring the pain in her throat and the aches in her back, Enaste shook her head.
"They were not expecting a mage."
"I see," Deshanna looked skeptical, but did not press the issue. She didn't need to know what happened. Enaste was fine, regardless, as long as she didn't think about it too much.
"Aridhel, Hauen, Eirie," Deshanna announced, and at her voice all three hunters stood at attention. "Get more help from the older hunters, and put the men in the storage tent on the north side of camp. Keep them tied down, but tell Elder Le'an to watch over them. Whatever information they have, we want it."
Enaste watched the three hunters hurriedly follow their new orders. The children started pulling on Enaste again, especially Nellasa, and Enaste picked her up instead of letting herself be dragged down the hill.
"Where are Hallin and Harea?" Enaste asked, careful not to step on a stray child as they walked down the slope into camp.
"Hallin is hunting, but Harea is around somewhere. I believe she is doing some leatherwork."
Enaste smirked. "She never does stop working."
Keeper Deshanna sighed. "I wish she would. She needs more rest." She looked at Enaste dryly. "Though I'm sure she would get more if your brother would stop fussing over her."
Enaste's smirk turned into a wider smile: she knew her brother, and that was very much in-character for him. "He won't leave her alone?"
"No!" Deshanna replied, exasperated. "I had to order him to leave for this hunt, and it took far more convincing than it should have."
"It's been so long," Enaste said. Nellasa had started playing with her scarf. Enaste gently took her hands away from it so she wouldn't pull it off, and the girl laid her head on Enaste's shoulder. "He's worried for her, and the child."
"I know. But if he keeps hovering around her he's not going to have a bonded or a child because Harea will have killed him."
The camp was set up long and narrow, so from this entrance they could only see a few tents, an aravel, and her clan mates buzzing around them. A woman named Miolvun, beating the dust out of a rug, froze as soon as she saw them and ran off. "Harea!" She yelled in the distance, and Enaste grinned.
Keeper Deshanna returned her smile and led her towards an aravel where hardered leather lay across the decks. A bag of tools and thread for embroidering said leather hung over the side. Miolvun barely had time to warn the heavily pregnant woman sitting against the aravel before she saw Enaste herself.
"Creators!" Harea yelled. "Oh, fenhedis--" Harea hissed before tossing whatever she was working on into the darkness of the aravel.  "Help me up," she ordered the other woman, who quickly gave Harea her arm.
Enaste gently put Nellasa down as her friend approached. Harea was a beautiful woman: her hair was the same shade of black that Enaste's was, but her skin was a darker, richer tan, and the blue in her vallaslin --meant to honor June-- made her brown eyes stand out even more than they would have otherwise.
"Oh, how could you leave me, you monster?" Harea asked, putting her hands on Enaste's face. She was tall, too, one of the tallest elves in the clan, and looked down slightly at Enaste. "In my time of need? It's like you don't even care."
Keeper Deshanna sighed. "She was kidnapped, da'len."
Harea shot her an annoyed look. "She could have escaped."
Enaste laughed and put her hand on Harea's wrist. "I did escape. I'm here now, aren't I?"
Harea pursed her lips. She suddenly squished Enaste's face, earning a surprised yelp. "You should have been here earlier. Your brother has been an absolute nuisance, and you're the only one he listens to."
"Abelas. I really did try," Enaste said through squished cheeks.
Harea let Enaste's face go and sighed. "It's fine. I know you were busy being... Some kind of shemlin goddess...?"
Enaste rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you later."
"Yes, you should eat first," Harea frowned, looking down at Enaste's body. "Where did your hips go?"
"Enough, da'len," Keeper Deshanna soothed. Before she could go on, a voice called out to Enaste.
"Maker's breath! There you are!" It was Jester, the agent Leliana had sent along to assist her. A human woman was just behind them, followed by Blackwall, and further behind, Solas. Her gaze lingered on him, warmth blooming in her chest just from seeing him. He smiled at her when he caught her eye, and she smiled back. It was embarrassing.
"And hey, what's up with your voice?" Harea asked, frowning. "You sound like you have a cold."
"Ah, well, I think I do," Enaste lied, and Harea started asking Deshanna about various remedies.
"Inquisitor," Jester said, their thick brows knit in concern. "We were so worried for you. What a relief to see you alright."
"What caused the delay?" Solas asked, and, frustratingly, she found herself excited by his voice. Had she missed him? It had been scarcely twelve hours.
She turned towards where the hunters had taken her captives. "I ran into a few of our mercenaries friends. Took two of them hostage, and two horses."
Solas's brows raised. "Impressive work." His praise made her heart skip. Then he frowned. "Are you feeling alright? Your voice sounds strange."
"That's what I said!" Harea exclaimed, crossing her arms. "You need elfroot, and honey."
"I need to eat, lethallan," Enaste said, finally speaking up for her aching stomach. She looked at her Keeper. "You said there was trout?"
Deshanna smiled, nodded, and looked to the gathered Inquisition representatives. "Your friends have already had some, but there should be plenty. Come, let us eat."
Soon she was sitting in the grass, eating grilled trout and mushrooms and oysters and herbs. Save for when Roshan cooked at Skyhold, it was the best thing she'd eaten in months. She ate so fast Harea teased her and told her to slow down, and her friend was right because she felt a little sick afterwards. But it hardly mattered. She lay back against a tree and closed her eyes and listened to the surreal intermingling voices of her family and new friends in the comfort of her clan's camp. She met Lady Guinevere Volant, who explained the situation in Wycome as she understood it, and Keeper Deshanna went over the situation with the bandits.
The plague the Keeper mentioned was, obviously, not in reference to the clan itself but the city of Wycome. Some disease was tearing through the upper quarters, killing humans but suspiciously --almost pointedly-- avoiding elves. When Enaste explained that the mercenaries had apparently been paid for by the Duke of Wycome, the full picture came into focus: something was killing the humans of Wycome, and the elves were being blamed for it. Despite obviously not being connected, Clan Lavellan was made a scapegoat. They were lucky the mercenaries were so incompetent.
"They may come here to try and avenge their comrades," Blackwall warned, and Enaste nodded.
"We'll be ready for them. We can speak with the hostages I took and get more information about what to expect, but after my encounter with them I don't think there are many left in fighting shape." She nodded to Deshanna. "We can handle what's left."
"Good," the Keeper said. She looked at Lady Volant, grey brows furrowed. "What of the elves in the alienage? If we are being harassed, I find it hard to imagine they are safe."
Lady Volant nodded slowly. "Tensions seem higher than usual. One of my informants in the alienage has expressed concern, and many of the elves are especially worried. I am uncertain of more than that, however." She looked to Enaste. "I had hoped we could introduce you to the Duke, that we might gain information that way, but if he's paying for these mercenaries to harass your clan, I doubt he'll tell you much."
Keeper Deshanna nodded. "But you could go, Lady Volant, and see if he will give you a tour of the city as a representative of the Inquisition. Then you would be able to assess the reality of this plague for yourself."
"Should you have protection?" Enaste asked.
"Not typically, though..."
Enaste looked to Blackwall, who nodded. "Blackwall can accompany you."
Keeper Deshanna hesitated. "Is it the norm for a tour of the city to require an armed guard?" She looked at Blackwall kindly. "With all due respect, having such a visible guard will raise suspicions. The Duke will know we do not trust him."
"None taken, my lady," Blackwall responded.
"Still, it is not a bad idea." She looked at Jester, who was silent thus far. "If we send one of our warriors or hunters the Duke will know we have some involvement. You are without vallaslin; if you accompany the ambassador as a servant, it will draw less attention."
Jester considered this, running their hand along their chin. "That might be fine. If we visit the alienage, however, they may recognize me. Some of the Duke's own servants may as well."
Enaste frowned, thinking. She cleared her throat and nodded to Solas. "You could accompany Lady Volant."
He smiled slightly, and no one objected immediately, so Enaste went on. "You wear no vallaslin, you are unknown to the alienage and the various elven servants, and should something go wrong, you can protect Lady Volant." She shrugged. "It's not a bad idea."
"They won't be able to tell you're a mage?" Blackwall asked, and Solas shook his head.
"Likely not. Even if they had a mage of their own, it is difficult to be certain."
"You don't hate the idea," Enaste observed. "You will be treated like a servant."
"I can pretend to be humble, for one afternoon," he joked, and Enaste snorted.
Keeper Deshanna nodded slowly. "This feels like the right compromise." She raised an eyebrow at Solas. "You are rather large for an elven servant, though."
"No one looks at elves that hard, Keeper," Harea replied, and the Keeper sighed her agreement.
"Tomorrow, then?" Enaste asked, and Lady Volant nodded.
"I will travel back to Wycome today, and send a messenger to inform the Duke that I will be taking him up on his offer of a tour. He will be disappointed in your absence, Inquisitor, but he should understand how much of diplomacy is done via proxy."
"Shall I go with you?" Solas asked, and Lady Volant nodded.
"I could send a messenger to the clan in the morning, but it would be easier if you simply stayed in Wycome."
That made perfect sense, and Enaste did not object. Still, for some reason knowing he would not get to spend the night with her people was disappointing. It was her own fault for volunteering him, and maybe it was for the best. She knew he was uncomfortable around the Dalish, even among her clan, and maybe introducing him to her people in small pieces would be easier.
Thus it was settled. Solas would go with Lady Volant back to Wycome that evening, and everyone else would remain in the camp. Lunch lingered a while longer, and Harea half-forced Enaste to drink honeyed tea for her throat despite how full she felt. Other clan members came and went, greeting Enaste and marveling at her entourage. Roshan ate with them for a while as well before he went off to nitpick something about the oysters.
As the sun drifted past midday, Keeper Deshanna instructed one of the hunters from earlier, Aridhel, to show the Inquisition where they'd be staying. The clan had set up several tents for them, modest in construction but outfitted with warm furs inside that would be plenty of cushion to sleep on. Enaste returned to the small, private section of the aravel she'd shared with Deshanna for the better part of the last ten years. It had been kept clean, and free of dust. Were she not burdened by the warmth in her hand and the pain in her throat, it would be easy to imagine she'd never really left.
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no1ryomafan · 1 month
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Also making myself read again before I read other stuff that I need to read and the big o manga is scratching my brain after having seen the anime goood I wanna make some kinda of comparison post when I finish. (I’m only 4 chapters in but SO MUCH is different)
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badboysupr · 3 months
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hello my beautifully talented followers! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡ just wanted to pop in real quick with a reminder that I also write percy over on my sideblog: @tidaltow
if you get a follow from this blog, it (obviously) means both of my boys are open to interact with you! (ᅌᴗᅌ✿) but if you don't follow percy, i just assume you aren't interested in him (which is fine! no obligations here) and therefore keep him to myself
so just! please make sure you give him a follow if you're interested so i know! ♡ thank you!
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windfighter · 2 years
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Midnight train going anywhere
@strikerofdeath0 I tried! :D
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The fire was crackling. Kouichi put an apple on a stick and held it over the fire. Takuya was talking about a football game he’d take part in the next weekend. Kouji filled a pot with water, looked at them. This was so peaceful compared to how it had been in the digital world and he wished Izumi, Junpei and Tomoki could have come along as well. Maybe next time. There would be other weekends and they had only known each others for a month.
It felt like a year with everything that had happened in those 15 minutes they’d been away. Kouji’s grip around the pot tightened. He looked at Kouichi. The twin he hadn’t know, had fought, had almost murdered.
Had lost. Twice.
Kouichi looked at him and gave him an uncertain smile. Kouji sighed. Looked at Takuya instead. Takuya, who was an absolute idiot. Who wouldn’t move out of danger when it came his way. Who had almost gotten killed by Kouichi while he was under Cherubimon’s influence.
Kouji shuddered. The pot almost slid out of his fingers. Duskmon’s blade against his back had been so painful. It had taken him days (seconds?) to recover. He had woken up alone in darkness. Takuya was gone and Ophanimon had let him know the others had been taken.
Kouji’s breath hitched. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. He wasn’t angry. Nor disappointed. He was used to having to take care of everything on his own. Of being alone. It hadn’t hurt him at all that Takuya promised they’d stick together just to leave him.
Kouji was very good at lying to himself.
Takuya looked at him, raised an eyebrow. Laughed. He was such an idiot. Kouji rolled his eyes and stepped up to the fire, hung the pot over it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to sit on Kouichi’s or Takuya’s side of the fire, so he sat down between them. Takuya moved away ever so slightly. Kouji leaned back, put his hands against the ground and looked towards the sky, at the branches hanging above them. The night would be cold, free of rain. The sky was clear, the moon already crawling towards the horizon. The first bright stars were already appearing.
The regular sky still felt foreign. Kouji missed the three moons constantly hanging over their heads. Constellations he’d never see again and the stories Bokomon told about them that he’d never hear. He should have listened more, asked questions. Shouldn’t have isolated himself as he did. But he hadn’t known how and when he had finally learnt the world was ending and they were too stressed to listen to tales of the past, too busy worrying about the future.
Kouichi took the apple away from the fire and bit it. Fanned himself with his hand.
”Hot”, he complained.
”What did you think? That the fire was cold?” Takuya asked with a laugh.
Kouji smiled, but felt the smile falter just as quickly. Kouichi laughed and threw a handful of dirt across the fire at Takuya.
”Not to burn my mouth off, obviously”, Kouichi said.
Kouji sat up straighter, pulled his knees up and leaned against them instead. Stared into the fire.
”Where did you go?” he asked.
Both stared at him. Kouji didn’t look at them. They hadn’t talked about it. There hadn’t been time, it had been forgiven and forgotten. Takuya left but he came back and he saved them all and everything was forgiven. Forgotten. The pain gone. Hidden.
”After the attack”, Kouji explained, ”where did you go? I’ve been wondering.”
He wondered if the others had wondered as well. If anyone beside him had wanted to ask. Or if they didn’t care because they hadn’t been the one wrapped in Takuya’s warmth one second and on the cold hard ground the next. They hadn’t heard Takuya’s steps as he walked away. They had already been taken. By Duskmon or a hidden Mercurymon Kouji had never figured out, but they had been gone when the darkness cleared.
Takuya frowned. Kouji glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. Kouichi looked between the both of them. How much did Kouichi remember of that? They hadn’t talked much about the digital world, still just trying to get to know each other. Kouji feared Kouichi didn’t remember it at all, but he didn’t dare ask.
How would that sound? If Kouichi actually didn’t remember it, would Kouji sound insane? Would he get locked up, diagnosed with psychosis? He was a little scared of that possibility. So why was he suddenly talking about it here?
With the fire and the stars and the sky and the apples and everything that reminded him so much about those nights? They had been some of the best nights of his life. Maybe now was the only time he could have talked about it.
”What attack?” Takuya asked.
Kouji looked at him. Tilted his head. If Takuya didn’t remember, how could he explain?
”The…” He nodded towards Kouichi. ”The attack.”
”Oh.”
Takuya looked at his hands. Kouji looked at Takuya. At the way his chest rose and fell with his breaths. The nervous twitch of his fingers.
”The attack”, Takuya whispered.
The night suddenly felt colder. Kouji regretted asking. Kouichi still seemed confused. He took another bite of his apple. A shiver ran down Kouji’s back.
”Home”, Takuya whispered.
His voice sounded fragile. Like he didn’t want to admit it, say the words out loud. Kouji’s ears latched on to every sound that left Takuya. The shuffle as he twisted uncomfortable when faced with the memory. His clothes rustling in the wind. His breath picking up every so slightly.
”I went home”, Takuya admitted. ”Back to the human world.”
Home. The word tasted so different after the digital world. One month back and Kouji still didn’t feel quite like he was home. Home wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a place any longer. It was a world and he didn’t have access to it. Takuya probably felt the same from what Kouji could tell. From the way Takuya needed to explain that he meant the human world. This world. Their home.
Kouichi looked at the ground, the apple lowered towards it as well. Takuya’s hands shook. Kouji gripped his sleeves. He really shouldn’t have asked.
”It was… weird”, Takuya said.
His voice was low. Just barely above a whisper. A slight quiver to it. Kouji vowed to never let the others know. Takuya looked at his hands, held them infront of his face before letting them fall onto his lap.
”My memories of it are muddled”, Takuya admitted a little louder. ”Two-fold. Both from me and from… whatever I was when I came back.”
He looked at Kouichi and Kouichi smiled nervously. Takuya looked away again.
”Duskmon was there too. Or a ghostly memory of him.”
Kouichi looked away. Looked at Kouji and looked away again. Kouji wrapped his arms around his legs. Would this break whatever fragile thing they had built up between them?
”Duskmon wasn’t…”, Kouichi started. ”...I wasn’t. I was…”
He looked at his hand, frowned. Takuya’s cry as he held Kouji echoed silently between the three of them, Kouji could see it reflected in their faces and wondered if it was just as clear on his own.
”I had to… refind my resolve”, Kouichi whispered. ”My goals. Clear my mind.”
Takuya took a shaky breath. Kouji hugged his legs tighter.
”Me too”, Takuya whispered. ”I was… it was terrifying. Duskmon… all I could think about was how strong he was, how close I had been to death.”
He hugged his hands. Kouji wanted to be angry. He had been the one to take Duskmon’s attack, had been the one hurt. But the anger didn’t come. It couldn’t. He had felt the same fear after he caught Duskmon’s earlier attack. But his resolve to protect these idiots that had befriended him never faltered.
”I… tried to get myself to stay. Not board the train.”
Kouji’s heart hurt. Skipped a beat. Takuya’s resolve had been weak, and yet he had been the strongest of them. Why? It wasn’t fair. Kouji shook his head. He sounded like a child. The world isn’t fair. Takuya was right to fear for his life, to fear Duskmon. Pain danced across Kouji’s back, ghostly memories of the attack. Takuya laughed. Insecure, unstable, shivering.
”It seems silly now. Who in their right mind would be scared of Kouichi?” he asked.
Kouichi shook his head. Takuya put his head in his hands. His shoulders shook.
”But I was… so scared”, he mumbled into his hands.
As if he was afraid to admit it. Ashamed. Kouji didn’t know what to say, didn’t have any words of support.
”But you returned”, Kouichi said.
He remembered, Kouji realized. Kouichi remembered everything from the digital world. Every single thing he had been through and had seen.
”I went home”, Takuya said.
His voice was more stable, didn’t sound like it was on the verge of breaking.
”To the digital world. To the people that believed in me even when I doubted myself.”
He looked at the fire, hands in his lap.
”Everything had changed and nothing would ever be the same, so I pushed myself towards the train and I went home.”
Kouji felt anger somewhere in the pits of his stomach. Deep down where it would stay. He clenched his hands. Takuya left him, went home. Where he had been safe, hunted only by his own fear, while Kouji had been forced to hunt his fear despite his injuries. Life… wasn’t fair.
”You… went home”, he said.
His back hurt. He clenched his hands harder, tried to hide the way they trembled. Kouichi looked at him.
”Kouji?”
Kouji wanted to stand up. Walk away. Run. He swallowed, forced a smile towards Takuya. He hoped it didn’t look venomous.
”Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you came back.”
He reached towards Kouichi, snatched the apple. The water in the pot started to boil.
”What happened while I was gone?” Takuya asked.
Kouji swallowed. There really wasn’t anything to say on that.
”You already know”, he said.
Kouichi stood up, took the pot off the fire and fetched their cups and some teabags from the tent. Kouji filled his cup up, wrapped his fingers around it and held it against his chest.
”The others got taken and I went to find them. Got my butt kicked.” Again. ”And then you saved the day. We all lived happily ever after. The end.”
He didn’t want to think about how painful every step had been. How his lungs hadn’t been able to fill up with air. The irregular beating of his heart. It wasn’t Takuya’s fault. It wasn’t Takuya’s fault that they were both idiots. Kouichi sat down next to Kouji, filled his own cup with water. Looked at the fire.
”...I’m sorry”, he said. ”I cause you both so much pain.”
”It wasn’t you”, Takuya said.
”It’s not your fault”, Kouji corrected. ”Cherubimon… No, Lucemon screwed us all over. He was probably the one that corrupted Cherubimon and start off the whole war.”
Takuya shrugged and grabbed the pot, made his own cup of tea.
”We’re all fine now. There’s nothing to apologise about.”
Yeah, Kouji thought, no one owes anyone an apology.
He glanced at Takuya before turning to the fire. Sipped on his tea and took a bite out of Kouichi’s apple. Kouichi laughed and stole it back. Kouji let him, looked into his tea. The fire crackled infront of him and the cold of the night started seeping in over the camp site. Kouichi moved closer to Kouji, their shoulders almost touching.
”So… when’s your game?” Kouichi asked Takuya.
His voices wavered, but Takuya accepted the excuse to leave the conversation. Kouji was grateful as well, he hadn’t known how to move on, break it up. Takuya started talking about the game and Kouji looked at the sky. This was home, he realized. Not the digital world, not the human world. Just… whatever this was. He took another sip of his tea. The moon disappeared behind the horizon and the night was well and truly over them.
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scoopstrooptm · 2 years
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i've talked about this before and will continue to talk about it but robin is very sherlockian coded
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digitaldiseas3 · 3 months
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okay so i’ve been spoiled for death note only for the fact that it apparently sucks once L dies but like. L isn’t even dead yet and it kinda is sucking already :/
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sheerbadluck · 9 months
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I feel like if I don’t share my resolution, I won’t feel held accountable for achieving it. I don’t think it’s appropriate to share on my only other social media, insta lol
This year, I will quit smoking weed.
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starry-bi-sky · 1 month
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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In The Minotaur's Maze
Male Minotaur Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Violently painful noncon, mild bleeding from sex, size difference, belly bulge from massively huge dick, mild mention of musk, stalking, kidnapping, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 980 (Tried to make a drabble, failed again with a mini-fic instead. Oops. This is one of my very few works, so far, that is technically fanfiction as Asterion is the canon name of the Minotaur in Greek mythology.)
You were a talented explorer seeking ancient relics for fame and fortune.
You used a combination of minor magic to speak to the dead and serious investigation to discern the location of the fabled Minotaur labyrinth.
It was deep within an enchanted cave system that in many ways served as an extension of the maze hidden away within.
You carefully navigated the treacherous caves until you came upon the secret entrance. You placed your hand in the middle of a smooth wall and uttered the magic incantation.
The wall dissolved in a flash of light, and you stepped through the entrance as the stone reformed behind you. This was it. You were in the maze proper. What secrets lie ahead?
Of course, you knew the legends of Asterion the Minotaur, but he had been slain in them. And nothing could live so long anyway, especially without food.
You navigated the stone corridors easily. Despite their age, they still looked brand new. As you continued on, you occasionally heard what sounded like hooves plodding along behind you.
You pushed it from your mind. Your imagination was playing tricks.
As you stepped around a corner, you came to a wooden door and opened it. When you stepped through, gone were the twisting stone paths filled with the scent of earth.
Instead, there was an ancient style dwelling overlooking some farmland growing a variety of trees, bushes, and vines.
The door you had come through was still behind you, you closed it and from this side it looked like a door to a shed. So the labyrinth had pocket dimensions… You had heard about them in passing. You wondered how large it was. The realm may look like an idyllic farm on earth, but if you went far enough away, you'd surely hit an invisible wall.
Perhaps the door to the house would lead further into the dungeon.
As you got closer, you realized how large it was. When you pushed the big door open, it actually was a house. Albeit with furniture that was made for someone very large.
Suddenly, you felt a hot breath at your neck. You turned to find the very large, naked Minotaur staring down at you. He was a hairy wall of muscle. One with the head of a bull, complete with metal tipped horns. His legs were covered in dark fur and ended in large hooves, and his full nutsack dangled beneath a frighteningly large prick.
Before you could react, the Minotaur grabbed you and pulled off all your clothing.
You had no idea how Asterion could have survived all this time. He had been killed!
But apparently, he hadn't gotten the memo.
In the past, he had consumed most humans that wandered into his labyrinthine prison, but you were bravely entering his home, his nest.
You weren't cowering like the old sacrifices. Well, you weren't before he grabbed you anyway.
That, combined with him being in rut and driven insane by thousands of years of isolation, made him not consider you as a meal for even a moment. You were firmly in the mate category in his brain.
So small and cute.
You writhed and fought to get out of his grasp but he ignored your greatest efforts as if they were nothing.
Asterion licked at your face as you pleaded with him to let you go.
He couldn't understand your language but he could guess at their meaning.
But he had no intention of ever letting this new mate of his go.
He tossed you down on the bed and you now saw what he intended to do.
His hard cock now at full arousal, as large and thick as a man's arm.
"No no no! Pleasepleasenono!!!" Your words blended together in a garbled panic as his musk hit your nose, sharp and dominating.
The only preparation your entrance received was a few gobs of slimy Minotaur saliva before he slammed inside you.
You shrieked.
It felt as though your entrance was on fire. As if it was being ripped apart.
With every thrust you shuddered in pain and sobbed. Nearly incoherent cries for mercy dribbled from your lips and fell on deaf ears.
You felt so warm and tight around him. This was just what he needed. Surely you had been sent to Asterion in his time of need by the gods. They finally, after eons, granted him mercy in the form of your insides.
So pliant to his girthy cock. Every time he dove back into you the outline could be seen in your stomach.
Tears streamed down your face as you silently wept, no longer able to scream or even babble your silly little pleas for it to stop.
Asterion wished he could tell you how well you were doing. That you were such a good cow for him. That you fit his cock so perfectly.
But he couldn't, so instead settled for licking and nibbling at your neck before wiping your tears away with his broad tongue.
With a final thrust he filled your belly visibly cum.
When he pulled out a torrent of his seed rushed down your thighs, it had noticeable streaks of pink from bleeding. You were such a fragile little thing compared to him.
He hadn't been able to hold back since that was the first time he had ever sought release inside of someone before, but he made note to be more careful.
Even though the breeding had stopped you were helpless. Broken. At least for the moment. You still cried silently, feeling utterly invaded and defiled.
Asterion took the time to lick you completely clean before laying down beside you and holding you close, spooning you with his mighty arm as you shook beneath it.
You came here to explore the deepest reaches of the maze... but had your deepest reaches explored instead...
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take a hint fuckboy.
Yandere playboy x gn!reader
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♥️Kameron usagi was the most popular guy in your school. He had money, good looks, fantastic grades, even his own car and well paying job, which was any sophomores dream. What was not to love? Well..just one itsy bitsy detail.
♥️ he was a major fuckboy. Hitting beds just like he's hitting bases on the fields. He's slept with nearly every girl on campus, you wouldn't be surprised if he slept in a couple guy's too. Still, he actually expected you to overlook his "past" of sleeping around? You probably would, if you hadn't spent the last four years in the same class with him
♥️wooing girls (and guys), going on a few dates, bed them, dump them, and repeat. It ended up with more broken hearts than you could count. But no one has the balls to actually speak up about it. Why? Because kameron could easily wreck their social life. make them be hated by the entire school, even potentially fucking up their future if they really ticked him off
♥️but with you? Oh he's complete putty in your hands. Sadly you seemed to hate his guts. You aren't seriously mad about him sleeping with all your friends-? Oh.. you are. Well, this complicates things huh!
♥️kameron is incredibly delusional the longer his persistence goes on. Believing this is all some game and deep down you love him back. You're just shy and nervous! Dont worry! He can wait (no he can't.)
♥️he sends his cronies to stalk you. Making them collect whatever they can to add to his shrine of you in his bedroom. He Photoshops pictures of you both, posting them on social media so everyone can see! His pressuring you into a relationship isn't very subtle. You know what he's doing. But what can you do? He practically rules the school since his parents are grand contributers to the funding
♥️by the time sophomore year is ending, you're worn out and too tired to fight back. Simply giving in to his obsessive love and silently praying that one of the college's you sent applications to will accept. When you nod your head as he holds a large rose bouquet and a box of chocolates, he's jumping for joy. Taking you into his arms and kissing you deeply. Swooping you into his Camaro.
♥️ atleast now you're technically the queen of the school. You're popular and people gush about your relationship with incredible fondness. The downside is now that everyone knows, it'll be harder to break up with him because how could you ruin such a picture perfect relationship? Shame on you y/n. (Ignore the fanclub of ex girlfriends frothing at the mouth thinking up ways to ruin your life)
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arcadia345 · 2 months
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Astrology observations🪷
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Birthday post🥳
Minors DNI🔞
Not a real astrologer just my observations :)
Now offering aura & synastry readings
❀ Question for Gemini/3rd house moons do y’all like sleeping anywhere else but yawls bed like your siblings room the couch over a friend‘s house you just usually don’t sleep in your bed for some reason?
❀ Venus in 10th synastry and their habit of subtly admiring eachother and their work/hobbies esp the Venus person.
❀ Saturn/cap in the 2nd likes to steal??👀 or they tend to get stolen from
❀ Aries moons mothers could’ve wanted independence from the fathers at some point in time. Independence seems to be a big theme for this moon sign.
❀ Moon/venus in 11th natals don’t be surprised if your (online)friends are deeply in love with you🤭it usually starts off as them just caring deeply about your feelings and wellbeing but it can easily turn into obsession/love
❀ Mercury and Capricorn in big 5 natal could give sexy veiny hands🥴*inserts black and white grainy filter* I wouldn’t mind a good neck squeezing from them lol
❀ Also I don’t think people realize how closely Capricorn/Saturn is to the occult, people usually just group it with the 8th house but intuitively I know esp as a cap myself that we tend to have hidden practices/practice secretly
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❀ Prominent 12th/9th house placements in composite could like to drink/ do dr*gs while together. It’s like everyday a party when you two are together 😎
❀ Aries Eros composite gives summer fling vibez
❀ The best way I can explain Aries women’s energy is like a thong stuck in your 🍑 a little unsettling but yk what time it is 😏
❀ Aries/Scorpio, mercury/Saturn moon signs have their 🍒s pierced (if not then this is your signn)
❀ Neptune in 8th have sm family secrets
❀ I’m jealous of Taurus 2°14°26°/ 2nd house moons and their soft skins and juicy lips. They most likely was the child that cause the least problems they also tend to be homebodies. Their natural aroma can be intoxicating. They have a Knick for wardrobe they’re true to this not new to this🤫 even if they didn’t have a lot of money growing up they were the ones you always seen playing dress up/ meddling in someones closet/dressers. You could say they were the mothers “favorite” child because they do what their told until they don’t…then the mom may start giving Scorpio moon vibes to the child.
Learning that JHope is a Taurus moon made sm sense😭 show anyone a baby pic of him and watch them start plotting on how they’d k*dnap him💀 he just look like such a sweet child that causes 0 problems whos easily content
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❀ I feel like cancer placements esp moon could be looked over a lot of times they’re just really chill energy wise most of the time but when you get to know them they’re really full of life
❀ Sag moons either live with older/elder people or they were the kid that was outside almost everyday or both!
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>a peak of my Sign Lore series. Should I start w ♋️ babez first?<
❀ Sorry not sorry but I love coming for Scorpios necks e very time I post😅🤣 someone said under all that intensity and mysteriousness they’re the most basic/bubbly people you know and I agree! They’re really simple people when it comes to what they want just like their sister sign Taurus. They love to have control(or at least pretend like they have it)which is understandable when their lives have been a story of uprooting and transformation. Scorpio rising’s have Leo in the 10th(the highest point in ur chart) they’re naturally charismatic and goofy people, they easily attract attention just by being their authentic selves. Also they couldve been the child that didn’t receive the correct/ right amount of attention growing up. A lot of their problems could’ve been overlooked growing up:(. They crave the same love & loyalty that they give out. As u know the sun scorches anything that comes near it just like Scorpios they’re intensity can drive people away most times so it gets lonely at the top yk?
That’s it for now 🌀🩵🌺🌀
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autistichalsin · 6 months
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Some of my favorite, understated moments with heartbreaking implications for Halsin
1. Halsin threatening to turn into a mouse in the epilogue if the player brags about his achievements- he's so shy and humble that just being acknowledged for LITERALLY BUILDING A COMMUNE HIMSELF makes him want to hide. A mouse is a very symbolic choice here: not only easy to hide, but also easily overlooked and forgotten. The idea of his accomplishments being acknowledged is so terrifying for him that he wants to turn into an animal no one will notice, instead of his usual strong, large, noticeable bear.
2. "Sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." This isn't the kind of thing that happens after one or two people act like jerks. This is years and years of cruel treatment, of his emotions being demeaned and mocked because of his size. Of people judging him before even meeting him- and forming an entirely wrong view of him. Halsin is a bighearted, tender, sentimental man, yet because he's big... Well, big people don't have feelings, surely. /s
3. "You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach[...] Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found," combined with, "There is a particular discomfort to besting one you know to be weaker than yourself - even when needs must," from a different scene. People have sought him out and fought him because of his size (which had to have been terrifying, especially the first time), and he feels guilty when he takes out someone he knows is weaker, even if they STARTED it. How many times has the poor guy been traveling and then had to defend himself against someone 1/2 his size, making HIM look like the asshole to onlookers, and reinforcing that whole "people think I can't be hurt" thing?
4. "It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..." (About the players' paths diverging post brain battle), combined with "I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless," if the player breaks up with him in the ending. This poor guy was having the time of his life adventuring with the group (and possibly falling in love there) yet never believed it would truly last (because of his abandonment issues). And then to have it confirmed.... he must have felt so awful in that moment, even if he was being dignified about it.
5. "You came for me... thank you. I feared Orin's accursed smile would be the very last sight I beheld," when Halsin is freed from Orin, combined with, "Orin's blades. I hoped my friends would save me..." If he is killed by Orin instead and Speak With the Dead is used on his corpse. The tone of his voice in the first line, especially added to that bit in the second... he never thought the player was coming to save him. He HOPED they would. Not "believed". Hoped. He thought he was going to die there- just like how he was in the Underdark for THREE YEARS and no one came to save him. And if it's confirmed... Yeah. That. (Sidenote: if you ask his corpse if he has any regrets, he says not telling Thaniel and Oliver goodbye, and not getting to see their land flourish. :( My heart. :( )
6. "I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth." Halsin was so miserable and stressed being Archdruid that he romanticized his past as a sex slave, viewing it as a safer, even happier alternative. There were actually times when Halsin thought he might rather be a sex slave than continue to be Archdruid. In a sense, for the 100 years the Shadow Curse was around, Halsin was just as much a prisoner as Thaniel was in the Shadowfell, but Halsin's prison had invisible bars. The Shadow Curse took away his entire support system, and being Archdruid forced him to be the strong one, always, never allowed to be weak or scared, forced him to take control of situations when he hated it, forced him to spend his time sorting out people instead of being in nature. And he was MISERABLE. For 100 years.
7. "You understand me almost perfectly. Only my late mother may have bested you." (Said if you get one question wrong at the love dryad test). He misses his mama. :( Especially when you consider that if you steal Balthazar's "Mother Dearest" and taunt him about it, Halsin disapproves (and is the only one to do so), while returning her gets you approval (which only Halsin approves of). And then the line when you look into a mirror while controlling him, "more like my father, with each passing day..." He really misses them. :(
8. "I am loathe to see anyone behind bars. It reminds me of my time as a guest of the goblins." He is, secretly, still quite traumatized from his time in the goblin pens, but he brushes it off. Just like every OTHER time he is hurt.
9. "I am aware [of having a habit of getting captured]. Perhaps I put too much faith in my skills of negotiation, or want to see good where there is none. It would be easy to resort to nature's fury whenever something stood in my way, yet I cannot help but feel I would be sullying the Oak Father's gifts. Naive perhaps... but I still draw breath." Halsin is aware he gets hurt often because of his desire to see good in people until he has no other choice, but refuses to give up anyway (which is backed up by that letter Gut had on her where she reveals Halsin TRIED to help the goblins, saying he could cure them of their tadpoles, only to be thrown in the cage, with Gut threatening to have his stomach cut open and maggots placed inside it.) Further, even though he is an Archdruid, and one of the most devoted, and explicitly has Silvanus's favor (Halsin says that gaining his favor was the only way he was able to open the portal to the Shadowfell), he still constantly worries about using Silvanus's powers, to the point of wondering if an actual threat to his safety actually merits using his powers. Which... combined with some other stuff, reads like one hell of a problem with self-worth.
10. "At least you were not present. Grim as [the ruined battlefield] is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory[...] I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost" combined with, "I was [present when the Shadow Curse was unleashed]. Part of my spirit was shorn away from me here, and never left," and, if Last Light falls, "All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago[...] We are [still standing]. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time." He has so much PTSD and survivor guilt from the Shadow Curse. :( No wonder it's all he can think about- to the point that some of the other companions even get annoyed at him for his obsession.
11. "I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you." Not only does this tie in with the above, with his PTSD from the curse and his utter misery at being Archdruid, but this HEAVILY implies Halsin had depression. Like... that "fog" line hits HARD if you have or have had depression, because that's exactly what it feels like. And the "forgetting who I was" bit too. Not just losing his sense of self to the depression, but to the neverending responsibilities of being Archdruid. I keep repeating myself, but damn, this guy has really and truly spent an entire century being absolutely MISERABLE. :(
12. "Forgive me. I... lost the run of myself. Sometimes, if blood runs hot enough, it's difficult to tame the beast." With that little disgusted groan/sigh, the fury and disgust at himself visible on his face, and the way he rushes to get out the rest of it- he thinks he fucked up so badly that you're about to leave him, maybe forever. And then if you reject him after this? "Ah... I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then." He has the most heartbroken look on his face here, and the way he says "of course" like he just... knew this was coming the instant he accidentally wildshaped. He felt that the first time he let ANY of his imperfections show, the player would leave him. :(
13. "Death is nature's final slumber - it awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair - not while there are still folk in need of your help." (Said to a Dark Urge if they tell him they're not much of a hero and most people needing them end up dead) Not only is Halsin speaking from experience here, but it's very clear he is STILL doing exactly what he tells Durge not to do, to himself- punishing himself over those who were lost, struggling with devastating survivor guilt.
14. "The grove has cut itself off from the world, to jealously guard its own little pocket of nature. No one shall ever enter or leave again. And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps..." If the Grove is sealed and you ask him about it later, this is what he says. Interesting that he views being evicted from the place he was in charge of protecting to be a "telling summary." He was forced to take the leadership role there, and yet it was clear he wasn't wanted or respected by a great number of the Druids (exempting Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis). He got a truly thankless job that took damn near EVERYTHING from him emotionally/mentally, causing him to develop depression and causing him to backslide in his previous healing from his trauma from his time as a sex slave, he still gave EVERYTHING to the Grove, and in return...... almost none of his Druids appreciated or even liked him. (I could seriously write at least five metas about how obviously miserable Halsin was at the Grove, despite caring for it deeply).
15. "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." Said at the epilogue to a solo romanced player who went to the commune with him. There's so many layers of heartbreak here. He is still surprised, six months later, that the player chose him. He even thinks the player will regret it, and will decide they want an adventurer's life after all after seeing everyone else. He doesn't think he is good enough- doesn't think he deserves the player, and yet at the same time he loves them so much that he is heartbroken over the possibility they might agree with him. He thinks that given a chance, there is little chance they would actually choose him again. (He is put at ease quickly when the player promises they picked him for a reason, but even the explanation he gives for why he was so worrie is heartbreaking- that he's so used to a tumultuous life that he thinks something must go wrong. He has been so traumatized so many times over the years that he just has almost no ability to think that true happiness is possible [or deserved] for him.) Something about that is just heartbreaking, even though his ending is one of the happiest of any of the companions.
Someone give this sweet bear man a hug, please :(
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itneverendshere · 1 month
Text
played me like a clarinet - rafe cameron
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request: "Desperately-on my knees-begging for a ''She's all that'' from 1999, with Popular Rafe x Reader. Ooouff, and you want that soul crushing heartbreak when she finds out about the bet he had made"
pairing: rafe x smart!nerdy!reader
warnings: angst <3; VERY LONG
wrote this listening to roses <3
Rafe Cameron held grudges better than anyone and his ex was about to witness exactly that. 
Fucking Jessica Green liked to think of herself as the queen of their university, the epitome of beauty and popularity. Some real high school bullshit he only fed because he liked her. And then, she went and dumped him for none other than Tyler West, the star player of his rival basketball team. Technically, she cheated on him, sneaking around with that piece of shit behind his back. 
The humiliation was killing him. 
Rafe wasn't one to take such things lying down; he wanted revenge, and he wanted it badly. He wanted to ruin her life. It wasn’t just enough to ruin her reputation—he wanted to hit her where it hurt the most. And what would hurt more than being replaced? Not just by any girl, but by someone who was everything she wasn’t. It was a genius idea, really. To prove that some loser could easily take her place, with a little help of course.
And that’s when he noticed you.
Kelce pointed you out actually, when they were six beers in and too fucking drunk to think clearly. But it was still a good choice.
You were the complete opposite of his ex, blending into the crowds like it was your superpower. He watched you for an entire hour at the party. You didn’t utter a single word the entire time you were there, only nursing your drink and listening to the other girls on the cheerleading squad speak.
Hell, he didn’t even know you were a cheerleader until that night. 
Were you always there? How had he never noticed you before? It was hard to remember when all he focused on up until then was Jessica. 
You were practically invisible in comparison to her, always on the sidelines, blending into the background. 
You were perfect.
If he could take this overlooked, nerdy girl and turn her into the new queen of the university, it would be the ultimate blow to Jessica's ego. It would prove that she wasn’t as irreplaceable as she thought. 
“You really gonna do it?”
He didn’t take his eyes off you, “Oh yeah. ‘M doing it.”
“Nahh, there’s no way you’re pulling this off.”
Rafe leaned back in his chair, a cocky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. Kelce’s skepticism was exactly what he expected, and honestly, it made the challenge even sweeter.
 “You think so?” he said, his tone light but with an edge of determination. “Watch me.”
Kelce, always the instigator, leaned forward with a smirk. “Come on, Cameron. You really think you can turn that quiet little thing into the next Jessica? She’s cute, I guess, in that nerdy way, but she’s not queen material.”
Rafe’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept his cool. “She’s got potential,” he said confidently. “Just needs someone to show her how to use it.”
Topper laughed, shaking his head. “You’re insane. This isn’t some movie where the shy girl takes off her glasses and suddenly she’s hot. Jessica had something that can’t be taught.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rafe pointed out, “It’s all about confidence man. Jessica wasn’t born the way she is now. She learned how to act the part, and I can do the same with her.”
Like a school project, he thought to himself. That’s all you were. 
Kelce took a swig of his drink, clearly enjoying where the conversation was going. “Alright, I’ll bite. How much time are we talking here? Because she’s got a long way to go, my guy.”
Rafe tilted his head, considering. “Give me two months. By the end of it, she’ll be turning heads. Maybe even more.”
Topper snorted, setting his drink down with a thunk. “Two months? No way. I’ll bet you a grand you can’t pull it off.”
Kelce laughed, clapping his hands together. “Oh, this is gonna be good. I’m in. A grand says you can’t turn her into the hottest girl in school.”
Rafe’s eyes glinted with determination. “You’re on,” he said, without hesitation. “In a month or two, you’ll be handing me that fucking cash, and she’ll be the one everyone’s talking about. Looking all pretty in my arms.”
Kelce raised his glass. ���To Rafe and his miracle project. This is gonna be fun to watch.”
Topper shook his head again, still grinning as he clinked his glass against Kelce’s. “Here’s to you wasting a month of your life on a lost cause.”
He clinked his glass with theirs, the bet sealed. 
“You better start saving up.”
This plan was flawless. 
It was so good that even in his drunken haze, he could see how perfectly it would play out. The first step was simple: get close to you. Make you feel special, noticed, like you were someone who mattered. Rafe knew how to charm people; it was practically second nature. And with Jessica, it had been easy—too easy. She’d fallen for his looks, his confidence, his golden boy appeal. 
The next day, he started showing up at places he knew you’d be. The library, the campus coffee shop, even lingering around after cheerleading practice. At first, he didn’t approach you, just observed. 
He had to figure out how to crack the code, how to make you see him without scaring you off. It took a week before he made his first move.
You were sitting alone in the library, surrounded by textbooks and notes. He casually strolled up, pretending to be looking for a book on the same shelf. “Hey,” he said, glancing down at you with a disarming smile. “You’re in my econ class, right? Mind if I sit here?”
You looked up, a little startled, but nodded, shifting your books to make room for him. You probably couldn’t believe that someone like Rafe Cameron was talking to you, let alone sitting with you. But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? To make you feel special, to pull you out of your shell and into his orbit.
He knew he still had to tread carefully. The wrong move could send you running, and he couldn’t afford that.
You kept your eyes down, focused on your notes. He noticed the way your hand shook slightly when you turned the page. Rafe leaned in a little closer, just enough to make his presence known without crowding you.
“You always this buried in work?” he asked casually, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open.
You glanced up, surprised he was still there. “I guess. I have a lot to catch up on.”
He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “I hear you. Econ’s been kicking my ass this semester. You doing okay in it?”
He could tell you were surprised. Probably didn't expect him to know you shared the same class. And he didn't, until last week.
You hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, it’s… fine. Just a lot of material.”
“Tell me about it,” he said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around these supply and demand curves for days. You think the professor’s trying to torture us?”
You smiled faintly, a small victory in his book. “Maybe. It’s kind of her thing.”
Rafe grinned, pleased that he got a reaction out of you. “You mind if I study with you? Might help to bounce some ideas off each other.”
You blinked, clearly taken aback by his request. “Um, sure. I mean, if you want.”
“Definitely,” he replied smoothly. “You seem like you actually know what’s going on, unlike me.”
He spent the next hour working alongside you, occasionally asking questions, but mostly just being there. He didn’t push, didn’t try too hard. He wanted you to get comfortable with him, to see him as someone you could rely on.
“I’m sorry about Jessica.”
The way you blurted the words out told him you hadn’t meant to say it. 
Rafe froze, his grip tightening on the pen in his hand. He could feel the familiar anger bubbling up, but he forced it down, keeping his expression calm. This was exactly what he didn’t want—Jessica’s name being brought up, especially by you.
But he couldn’t let you see that. 
He looked at you, feigning surprise with a bit of sadness, as if Jessica was just a painful memory he was trying to move past. “Oh,” he said softly, his voice controlled and measured. “You know about that?”
You nodded, eyes wide and apologetic, clearly regretting bringing it up. “Yeah… I mean, it’s all over campus, right? The girls were talking about it in the locker room. I just—I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.”
Rafe forced a smile, as if he was grateful for your concern. He leaned back in his chair, letting out a small sigh as if he was relieved to talk about it, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. “It’s okay,” he said, his tone gentle. “I guess it’s just one of those things, y’know? We were together for a while, and it sucked when it ended.”
You looked down at your notes, fidgeting with the corner of a page. 
“She shouldn’t have done that to you.”
He let out a dry laugh, the bitterness threatening to seep through, but he quickly disguised it as a rueful chuckle. “Yeah, well, people do shitty things sometimes. Guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
He noticed the way you seemed to relax as if you were relieved that he wasn’t angry. He needed to shift the conversation away from Jessica, and back to you, where it should be. “But hey,” he said, his voice brightening as if he was genuinely trying to shake off the bad memories, “Everything happens for a reason right?"
You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden attention. “Right."
He leaned forward slightly, his gaze locking onto yours. “You’re not like everyone else around here. You’re real, y’know? Genuine. I like that.”
Bullshit. But he could see the effect his words had on you. Easy.
Your cheeks flushed slightly, and you looked away, a small, shy smile playing on your lips. “I’m just…here.”
Rafe shook his head, his smile softening, taking on a more sincere tone. “I’m glad I’m getting the chance to see that.”
You didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at him with those wide eyes, as if you were trying to figure him out. Rafe held your gaze, letting the silence stretch just long enough to make the moment feel meaningful, even though he knew exactly what he was doing. He was reeling you in, one calculated move at a time.
Finally, you nodded, lips twitching, “Thanks, Rafe."
Oh, you were too perfect for this.
He grinned, leaning back in his chair as if the conversation had lightened his mood.
 “Anytime."
It was a perfect conversation, one that made you feel like he was letting you in on something personal, something real. And from the look on your face, it worked.
But inside, Rafe was fuming. Jessica had managed to worm her way into his head again, even indirectly. It was a reminder of why he was doing this in the first place. 
He plastered on another smile, picking up his pen and tapping it lightly against his notebook. “So,” he said, steering the conversation back to safer waters, “You think you can help me with this econ stuff? Because I’m pretty sure I’m doomed without you.”
You laughed, the tension from earlier completely dissipating. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”
As you both turned your attention back to your notes, Rafe felt a sense of satisfaction. He was winning that bet on way or another. 
Over the next few weeks, Rafe made sure to stick to his plan. Slowly but surely, he worked his way into your life. He was always around, ready with a casual compliment or a small gesture that made you feel noticed, special. He’d walk you to class, carry your books, and offer to study with you whenever he had the chance. He knew how to play the long game, and with every passing day, you were warming up to him more and more.
He made sure to steer clear of anything that might remind you of Jessica or his past. Instead, he focused on building up your confidence, subtly encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. 
He’d invite you to parties, introducing you to his friends, and before long, you were starting to come out of your shell. You even started to dress a little differently—nothing too drastic, but enough to catch people’s attention. The change was gradual, but it was happening, and Rafe could see it.
The first party he invited you to was at a swanky off-campus house, the kind of place you’d only ever heard about but never had the nerve to attend. He had that effect on you—made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you belonged in a world that had always seemed so out of reach. 
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Rafe said, his voice smooth as silk. You hesitated, biting your lip, feeling out of place just imagining yourself in his world.
“I don’t know… I’m not really into parties,” you admitted.
Rafe grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen. Just give it a try, for me?”
His gaze was so earnest, so convincing, that you found yourself nodding. “Okay. I guess I could give it a shot.”
The first party was initially awkward—loud music, people you didn’t know, and a social scene that felt worlds away from where you belonged. 
But Rafe stayed close. 
The moment you walked in, the loud music and flashing lights overwhelmed your senses. You clung a little closer to him, who noticed and shot you a reassuring smile, his hand resting on the small of your back as he guided you through the crowd. He was different tonight—more confident, more assertive. 
“Relax,” he whispered in your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re with me. Have some fun, sweets.”
You nodded, trying to loosen up, but the eyes on you—on both of you—were hard to ignore. People were noticing. Whispering. It was exactly what Rafe wanted.
He led you to where Kelce and Topper were already posted up, drinks in hand. The second they saw you, their eyebrows shot up, but they quickly masked their surprise with easy smiles. Rafe kept you close as he greeted them, his hand never leaving your back.
“Guys, this is her,” Rafe said, his tone casual but with a hint of pride. “Told you I’d get her to come out with us.”
Kelce looked you up and down, his smirk growing. “Well, well, Cameron. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
Topper raised his drink in your direction, his smile more genuine. “Nice to meet you. Rafe’s been talking you up.”
You managed a small chuckle, feeling the weight of their attention on you. “Nice to meet you too.”
Rafe gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t you grab a drink? I’ll be right here.”
You nodded, grateful for the brief escape, and headed towards the makeshift bar in the kitchen. As soon as you were out of earshot, the easygoing demeanor Rafe had been maintaining with you slipped away, replaced by something more calculating as he turned back to his friends.
“So?” Kelce asked, “How’s the project going?”
Rafe shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Better than expected. She’s starting to come out of her shell. Still got a long way to go, but I’d say we’re on track.”
Topper leaned against the counter, his gaze following you as you picked out a drink. “She seems… nice. You sure you want to go through with this, man?”
Rafe shot him a look, his expression hardening. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Topper shrugged. “Just saying. She doesn’t seem like the type who’s cut out for this crowd. Might be too sweet for what you’ve got planned.”
Kelce chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s sweet, alright. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? She’s not Jessica. And if he pulls this off, it’s gonna be legendary.”
Rafe’s lips curled into a smirk. “Exactly. She’s perfect for this.”
He said it with confidence, but there was something else in his eyes—something he quickly buried as he watched you make your way back with a drink in hand.
When you returned to the group, his expression softened instantly. He slipped back into the charming, attentive guy he’d been playing for you all night.
“Got something good?” he asked, nodding towards your drink.
You giggled, holding up your cup. “Just punch. Thought I’d start slow.”
He snorted, nodding approvingly. “Smart move. Don’t let these guys talk you into anything too crazy.”
The night went on like that, Rafe playing the perfect gentleman, always by your side, making sure you were comfortable, that you were enjoying yourself. He introduced you to more people, his arm around your shoulders, subtly guiding you through the social maze with ease. And every time you excused yourself—whether to grab another drink or use the restroom—his demeanor shifted. The smile would slip, and he’d share knowing looks with his friends, a silent acknowledgment of the game they were playing.
But you didn’t see any of that. 
You saw the guy who made you feel like you were finally part of something bigger, like you belonged. And as the night went on, you found yourself relaxing more, laughing, talking, feeling the walls you’d built around yourself start to come down.
Rafe noticed, of course. That was the whole point. He’d spent weeks laying the groundwork, and tonight was just the beginning. He was getting what he wanted.
But as he watched you laugh at something Kelce said, genuinely enjoying yourself, he felt a pang of something unfamiliar. It was brief, fleeting, but it was there. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was something else. He quickly pushed it aside, reminding himself why he was doing this.
He knew better than to get too comfortable. 
He knew his ex wouldn’t stay out of his business forever, and sure enough, she confronted him right before class the next day.
“Rafe, can we talk?”
He didn’t look at her right away, instead shoving his notebook into his bag as if she wasn’t even worth the effort. But he couldn’t resist; he turned to her, keeping his expression neutral. “What’s up?”
Jessica glanced around, making sure no one was listening, before stepping closer to him. Her voice was low, almost pleading. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Rafe raised an eyebrow, playing dumb. “What do you mean?”
She huffed in frustration, clearly not in the mood for games. “Don’t act like you don’t know. She’s a nice girl, I know she’s not your type.”
Rafe couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. “Jealous?
Jessica’s eyes flashed with anger, but there was something else there too—guilt. 
“No. You’re just going to use her to get back at me? That’s not fair. She doesn’t deserve that.”
He leaned in closer, his smirk turning cold. “You didn’t think about fairness when you were sneaking around with Tyler, did you? Why should I care about what she deserves?”
"Rafe."
"You only care about your precious reputation, so shut the fuck up."
Jessica flinched, “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”
“Do you even realize what you did to me?” The memory of the last time he’d trusted her flashed before his eyes—the way she’d smiled at him. The same smile she had for someone else, “You don’t get to apologize now. You don’t get to tell me what’s fair.”
Jessica’s expression softened, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “I’m not saying this for me. I’m saying it for her."
"Right, because you care so much about other people, huh?"
"You're being difficult for no reason."
Rafe clenched his jaw, every word she said feeling like a knife twisting in his gut. He wanted to lash out, to tell her that she didn’t get to play the moral high ground after everything she’d done. But instead, he just stared at her, his eyes hard and cold.
“Stay out of it, Jess” he said finally, his voice low and dangerous. “And keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly as if she’d been expecting this. “Just think about it before you do something stupid."
Without another word, Jessica turned and walked away, leaving Rafe standing there, seething with anger. He watched her go, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Of course, she would act like she gave a shit about you the moment he’s attention shifted from her. She had no right to lecture him, no right to tell him what to do.
This was about revenge, about proving a point. You were just a means to an end, nothing more.
But you made it so fucking hard for him to keep his head in the game. 
Every time you smiled at him, every time you thanked him for something small, it chipped away at the cold resolve he had built up inside. He told himself it was just part of the plan, that getting close to you was necessary for the outcome he wanted. But the more time he spent with you, the more he realized that he was enjoying himself. 
He didn't even have to put in the effort to influence you. You began to speak up in class, even crack jokes with the other girls on the cheerleading squad. The transformation was happening right before his eyes, just like he’d planned. But instead of feeling satisfied, there was a knot of guilt forming in his stomach. You were changing, yes, but it wasn’t just on the outside. You were starting to trust him, to look at him like he was more than just some popular guy who was doing you a favor. You were starting to care, and that terrified him.
One night, after another party where you had danced a little closer, laughed a little louder, Rafe walked you back to your dorm. The campus was quiet, the stars above bright against the inky sky. You were buzzing with the energy of the night, still talking animatedly about how much fun you’d had. The sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up—it caught him off guard.
“Thanks for inviting me, Rafe. I never thought I’d actually enjoy these things, but you make it… I don’t know, easier, I guess.”
Rafe smiled down at you, trying to ignore the way his heart twisted at your words. 
“I’m glad sweets. You deserve to have fun.”
You looked up at him, your eyes softening. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you properly. For everything. You didn’t have to be this nice to me.”
For a split second, he saw you. Not as a means to an end, but as someone he genuinely cared about.
His expression faltered for a moment before he quickly recovered. “It’s no big deal. Really.”
But it was a big deal, and you both knew it.
You had gone from barely existing on the social radar to being someone everyone noticed, someone everyone wanted to be around. And it was all because of him. Rafe had given you that, but he knew he was taking something from you too—your innocence, your trust.
He walked you to your door, his usual confidence wavering as you turned to face him. There was something different in your gaze tonight, something that made his breath catch in his throat.
“Rafe… I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” you began, your voice a little hesitant.
He forced himself to stay calm, even though his heart was pounding in his chest. “Yeah? What’s up?”
You looked down, fiddling with the hem of your top before meeting his eyes again. “Why did you start talking to me? I mean, really. Was it because you felt sorry for me? Or… or something else?”
Rafe’s mind raced, trying to find the right words, the ones that wouldn’t hurt you. He could lie, like he’d been doing all along, or he could tell you the truth, risk everything.
But before he could answer, you continued, your voice softer now. “Because… I’m glad you did. Whatever the reason was. I’ve never felt this… this good about myself. And it’s because of you.”
Rafe swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.
Fuck. He’d never expected this, never thought that you would be the one to make him feel something real, something that wasn’t just part of his stupid revenge plan.
He’d thought he could control this, control you, but it was slipping through his fingers. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You’ve always been amazing,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. “I just… I just helped you see it.”
You grinned up at him, your eyes shining with gratitud. It was too much, too real, and Rafe could feel the walls he’d carefully constructed around his heart starting to crumble. You were looking at him like he was someone worth caring about, and for the first time, he felt like he was the one being played.
He couldn’t let you get any closer. If you did, he wouldn’t be able to follow through with his plan.
But pushing you away now, after all the effort he’d put in, would raise too many questions. So, he did the only thing he could think of—he leaned down and kissed you.
It was gentle at first, testing the waters, but when you didn’t pull away, he deepened it, his hand cradling the back of your head as if you were something fragile. Your lips were soft against his, and for a moment, Rafe let himself forget why he was doing this. He let himself enjoy the warmth of your body pressed against his, the way you sighed softly into his mouth.
But then, just as quickly as it started, he pulled back.
The look in your eyes nearly undid him. There was so much trust, so much hope, and it made him want to break something, anything, just to stop feeling the way he did.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured, his voice rough, as if the kiss had taken something out of him.
You nodded, still dazed, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
This was wrong. 
He knew it was wrong. But in that moment, with the way you were looking at him, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He watched you go, waiting until you disappeared into your dorm before he let out a shaky breath.
What the fuck was he doing? He couldn’t afford to second-guess himself now. Not when he was so close to winning and yet, he couldn’t help but feel that he was the one who was losing.
Later that night, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Jessica’s words mocked him.
“I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”
He had scoffed at her then, dismissed her excuses as pathetic attempts to justify her shitty behavior.
But now, lying there alone, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was any different. He didn’t plan on feeling anything real for you. This was supposed to be a game, a way to hurt Jessica the way she hurt him. But somewhere along the line, things had changed.
How could he let this happen? How could he, of all people, start to care? He was supposed to be in control, supposed to be the one pulling the strings, not getting tangled in them.
And yet, the memory of your pretty face, the sound of your laugh, the warmth in your eyes—these were the things that lingered in his mind, all the damn time. 
“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow.
The anger and bitterness that had fueled him for weeks were still there, but they were being drowned out by something else—you.
Rafe’s resolve had been wavering for days, but he pushed the guilt aside as he drove to campus the next morning. He was picking you up before class, something that had become a bit of a routine. It was a small gesture, but one that made you smile every time, and Rafe had to admit, he looked forward to seeing that smile.
When he pulled up to your dorm, you were already waiting outside, your bag slung over your shoulder. You looked different from when he first met you—still shy, but with a confidence that hadn’t been there before. It was subtle, but Rafe noticed. 
He noticed everything about you these days.
“Hey,” you said as you slid into the passenger seat, giving him that small smile that always made his chest tighten a little. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“Anytime,” he replied smoothly, shifting the car into gear. “Ready for another day of fun and learning?”
You rolled your eyes playfully, but there was a lightness in your expression that hadn’t been there a month ago. “If by fun, you mean trying not to fall asleep in econ, then yeah, totally ready.”
He chuckled, glancing over at you as he pulled onto the road. “I’m starting to think you secretly enjoy econ. You’re just trying to maintain your cool, indifferent persona.”
You laughed, the sound genuine and free, and Rafe felt that unfamiliar pang in his chest again.
“Yeah, that’s me. The cool, indifferent econ nerd.”
“See? I knew it,” Rafe teased, but there was an edge of something else in his voice, something he couldn’t quite shake.
The drive to campus was easy, filled with light conversation and the comfortable silence that had developed between you two. When you arrived, he parked in his usual spot, but instead of getting out right away, you turned to him, your expression suddenly serious.
“Rafe, can I ask you something?”
He froze for a split second, his mind racing. Had you figured it out? Did you know about the bet? But he quickly forced a casual smile, nodding.
“Sure sweets, what’s up?”
You hesitated, chewing on your lower lip, a habit he’d noticed you had when you were nervous.
“Why did you kiss me?”
Rafe’s heart pounded in his chest. This was the moment he’d been dreading—the moment when you’d start questioning everything. He couldn’t afford to slip up now.
“Why not?” he said, his tone light, but there was a hint of sincerity that even he didn’t expect. “I like you. I like being around you.”
You looked at him, your eyes searching his, trying to find the truth in his words. Rafe held your gaze, doing his best to keep his expression open and honest. After a moment, you nodded, as if you’d decided to believe him.
“Okay,” you said. “I just... I didn’t want to assume, y’know? It’s just... new.”
“Good new, though, right?”
“Yeah,” you admitted, “Good new.”
The rest of the day passed in a blur, with classes, coffee breaks, and more of Rafe’s effortless charm. But that moment in the car stuck with him. You were starting to get closer, to trust him, and every time you did, the guilt fucked with his head a little more. 
Later that day, when the two of you met up for a late lunch, he noticed the way you had begun to attract attention from others. Some guys glanced your way, clearly noticing the changes in you, and a few girls even stopped to chat with you—a far cry from the shy girl he’d first approached in the library.
As you two sat down at a table outside the campus cafe, he saw the way your eyes lit up when you spotted someone approaching. It was Leila, a girl from your cheer squad. She waved and came over, sitting down.
“Hey, you two,” she greeted, her eyes flicking between you and Rafe. “Mind if I join?”
“Sure,” you said, scooting over to make room for her. He nodded, keeping his expression neutral, but there was something about the way Leila looked at you that put him on edge.
The conversation flowed easily, with her complimenting you on something you’d done at practice the other day, and you blushing at the praise.
Rafe watched, a small smile on his face, but his mind was elsewhere. He could see how much you were changing, how you were starting to come into your own, and it was becoming harder and harder to justify what he was doing.
When Leila left after a few minutes, you turned to Rafe with a grin. “She’s nice. I didn’t think she even noticed me before.”
“She notices you now,” Rafe replied, his voice quieter than usual.
You looked at him, your smile fading slightly. “Is something wrong?”
Rafe hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “No, nothing. Just... thinking.”
“About what?”
He leaned back in his chair. “About how you’re starting to steal everyone’s attention here. What am I gonna do when you’re the most popular one around here?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”
Rafe smiled back, but the guilt was back, stronger than ever. You were starting to trust him, to believe in the friendship he was offering, and it was killing him.
As the afternoon wore on, he found himself more and more distracted by his thoughts. He needed to talk to someone about it, someone who knew the score.
Later that evening, after dropping you off at your dorm, he called Kelce. The phone rang a few times before his friend picked up, sounding slightly out of breath.
“Yo, Cameron. What’s up?”
Rafe took a deep breath, leaning against the side of his car. “I need to talk, man. About the bet.”
Kelce laughed, clearly not picking up on the seriousness in Rafe’s voice. “What, you already feeling bad for her? Didn’t think you’d go soft so fast.”
Rafe frowned, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not that. It’s just... I didn’t think it’d be like this. She’s... she’s actually really nice, Kelce. Like, genuinely nice.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Kelce responded, his tone more serious.
“Dude, we all knew she was nice. That’s what makes this so good. You’re flipping the script. Just remember why you’re doing it.”
Rafe let out a frustrated sigh. “I know, but... She trusts me."
And I trust her, he wanted to add, but didn't.
“Look, Rafe, you’re in too deep to back out now. If you quit, she’ll still get hurt, and you’ll look like a fucking idiot. You gotta see this through. Just... keep your eye on the prize, okay? It’s not about her, it’s about Jessica.”
Rafe nodded, even though Kelce couldn’t see him. “Yeah... yeah, you’re right. I just needed to clear my head.”
“Good,” Kelce said. “Now go get some sleep or something. We’ve got a party this weekend, and I wanna see you back on your game.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, man.”
By Friday, the campus was buzzing with weekend plans, and you were in a good mood, chatting excitedly about some party that night. You two were in the cafeteria, grabbing lunch, when it happened.
You were waiting in line for food, and Rafe had stepped aside to check his phone. When he glanced up, he saw a guy approaching you—a guy he recognized from the football team. A sleazy bastard.
The guy leaned in, flashing you a charming smirk, clearly trying to flirt. He wanted to pummel his face to the wall. Rafe watched from a distance as the guy made you laugh, his hand casually resting on the counter next to yours. Too fucking close.
The sight made something twist in his chest, something dark and possessive that he hadn’t expected. He'd never felt like this before. His grip tightened around his phone as he watched, his jaw clenching.
You seemed flattered but a little uncomfortable, your smile not quite reaching your eyes. Rafe could tell you weren’t used to this kind of attention, and it made him feel something primal, something that burned hotter than the guilt. He wanted to go over there, to tell that guy to back the fuck off, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood there, seething, trying to keep his cool.
Scaring you away was the last thing he wanted to do.
When the guy finally walked away, you looked relieved, but Rafe was already moving. He crossed the cafeteria in quick strides, his eyes locked on you, his heart pounding. You spotted him coming and smiled, but it fell when you saw the look on his face.
“Rafe, what’s—”
He didn’t let you finish. Before you could say another word, he was right in front of you, his hand cupping your face as he pulled you toward him.
And then he kissed you.
It wasn’t like the kiss outsider your dorm. This was different. It was fierce, almost desperate as if he needed to prove something to himself, to you, and to everyone watching. His lips moved against yours with intensity, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling you closer. He didn’t care who was around, who was watching. 
All he cared about was you, right there, in his arms.
You froze for a second, caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but then you melted into him, your hands clutching at his shirt as you kissed him back with equal fervor. It was like all the tension, all the confusion, everything that had been building between you two, finally snapped.
Rafe deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, claiming you in a way that left no room for doubt. His fingers tangled in your hair, and you let out a soft moan that only made him kiss you harder, his body pressing against yours like he couldn’t get enough.
People around you were definitely watching now, whispering, some even cheering, but Rafe didn’t care. He didn’t pull away until he was breathless, and even then, he stayed close, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing heavy. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw the way you were looking at him—dazed, flushed, your lips slightly swollen from the intensity of the kiss.
“What... what was that?” you asked, your voice shaky, your eyes searching his for answers.
Rafe knew he should say something, explain himself, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss you again. Instead, he just shook his head slightly, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
“Just couldn’t help myself,” he murmured, his voice low and rough.
You blinked up at him, still trying to process what had just happened, but there was no mistaking the way your body was responding to him. 
He finally stepped back, but kept his hand on your waist, grounding you as he looked around. Sure enough, the guy from earlier was watching. 
Rafe caught his eye, giving him a look that said everything without words. She’s mine.
When he looked back at you, he saw the confusion in your eyes and something else—something that looked a lot like longing.
He knew he’d just crossed a line, again, but in that moment, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the way you felt in his arms, the way you looked at him like he was the only guy in the world.
“C’mon,” Rafe said, his voice softer now. “We’ve got class.”
You nodded, still a little dazed, and let him guide you out of the cafeteria, his hand never leaving yours. He was in deeper than ever, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Not when you looked at him like that, not when his heart was pounding like this.
As you approached the building where your next class was, he stopped, turning to face you. He touched your cheek again, his thumb brushing against your skin, and you leaned into his touch.
“Rafe—”
“You’re my girl,” he whispered, his forehead pressing against yours again. “Okay?”
You nodded, your breath hitching as you looked up at him, your eyes wide and trusting. Rafe knew he was on the edge of something he couldn’t control, but as he leaned in for one more kiss, slow and tender this time, he realized he didn’t care.
“Rafe…” you began again, speaking against his lips. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you needed to understand about what you were, what you two were becoming. His thumb traced the curve of your jawline.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered, his voice low, almost reverent. “I just… I need you to know that you mean something to me. This, us—"
“Okay.”
He was already in too deep.
And just like that, he got what he wanted. 
The next day, everything seemed to fall into place as if the universe has finally aligned for you. He asked you out, and just like that, you were together.
The next two months were a dream—utter bliss. You weren’t just happy; you were radiant. You’d become the most popular girl in school, and with him by your side, it felt like you were living in some sort of fairy tale. 
Every smile he gave you, every touch, every whispered confession of how perfect you were sent you soaring higher. He couldn’t get enough of you—your sweetness, your kindness, your genuine heart. It was as if he was falling more and more in love with you every single day. And you, you had never felt this alive.
But deep down, in a place he didn’t dare acknowledge, there was a shadow, a sliver of guilt that he pushed aside every time he looked into your trusting eyes.
He never officially ended the bet with Kelce and Topper. It was just a stupid game, something that seemed so insignificant compared to what he feels for you now. He told himself that he had forgotten about it, that it didn’t matter anymore.
After all, what you two had is real, right? And you, completely oblivious to the sinister origins of your relationship, continued to believe in the fairy tale.
Until it ended. 
⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷ೃ⁀➷⁀➷ೃ
It’s after cheerleading practice, and you’re alone in the locker room, stuffing your things into your bag. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and body spray, the usual post-practice atmosphere, but there’s something different today—a tension you can’t quite place. 
As you’re zipping up your bag, you hear voices nearby, just around the corner. Leila and Jessica, their conversation low but unmistakable. You wouldn’t normally eavesdrop, but something about the tone of their voices makes you pause, your heart suddenly beating a little faster.
"You were right," Leila says, her voice edged with a cruel satisfaction. "About your gut feeling with Rafe and his new girl."
Oh.
Jessica sounds tired, almost defeated. "What do you mean?"
Leila sighs, a dark amusement in her tone. "Kelce spilled everything when we hooked up last week. He was too high to keep his mouth shut. Rafe’s been playing her this whole time, using her to mess with you. It was all a bet."
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you can’t move, can’t think. The room spins around you, the ground shifting beneath your feet.
No. No, this can’t be real.
Leila’s voice continues, completely unaware of the devastation she’s causing. "It's so fucked up. She has no idea. She’s out there thinking he’s her Prince Charming, and all along it was just some sick game."
Jessica doesn’t say anything, but you can’t bear to hear more. You feel like you’re suffocating, your chest tightening as panic floods your system.
Before you know it, you’re running—out of the locker room, down the hall, anywhere to get away from those words, those horrible, soul-crushing words. Tears blur your vision as you stumble outside, gasping for air, for some kind of escape from the nightmare that’s suddenly become your reality.
The ache in your chest doesn’t fade as you bolt from the locker room, tears hot on your cheeks. You don’t know where you’re going, but you know you can’t stop moving. The hallways blur past you as you wipe at your eyes, struggling to catch your breath. Rage and heartbreak twist inside you like a knife, and before you know it, you find yourself standing outside the gym, where the sounds of basketball practice echo through the double doors.
You push through the doors without thinking, your heart pounding in your ears. The gym is full of movement—squeaking sneakers, the thud of the ball against the court, and the grunts of effort as the players practice their drills. But all of it fades into the background as soon as your eyes lock onto Rafe.
He’s in the middle of a play, dribbling the ball down the court with that intense focus you’ve always admired. For a moment, you hesitate, that familiar warmth of seeing him almost enough to make you stop. But then the memory of Leila’s words slams into you like a wave, and the anger surges back, drowning out everything else.
You storm across the gym, your footsteps heavy on the polished floor. Some of the players notice you, their eyes widening in surprise, but you don’t care. You’re beyond caring. The only thing that matters is confronting him, making him face what he’s done.
"Cameron!" you shout, your voice sharp, cutting through the noise of the practice.
He turns at the sound of your voice, surprise flashing across his face. The ball slips from his hands, bouncing away as the other players stop, confusion rippling through the group. You always call him by his name.
The coach starts to say something, but you barely hear him. All you can see is Rafe, standing there, looking at you with those eyes that you once thought held nothing but affection for you. 
Now, all you see is a liar.
“What’s wrong baby?” He jogs over to you, his brow furrowing.
You don’t answer immediately, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you try to hold yourself together.
But it’s impossible.
“Was I a bet?”
His expression changes from confusion to something closer to horror, his mouth opening as if to say something, but nothing comes out. The sound of your voice, trembling with disbelief and pain, seems to have stunned him into silence.
For a moment, you just stare at each other. You want him to deny it, to laugh and tell you it’s all some terrible misunderstanding. But deep down, you already know the truth. You saw it in his eyes the second he turned to face you, that flicker of guilt, that flash of something wildly desperate.
He reaches for you, his voice breaking. "Baby, wait, let me explain—”
“Was I a fucking bet?” you repeat, your voice louder this time, edged with a desperate, frantic energy that you can’t control. You take a step back as he tries to get closer, every muscle in your body screaming to get away from him, to escape the unbearable weight of the truth.
His eyes are pleading, searching yours for something, anything that might make this easier, but there’s nothing. No words, no excuses that can make this hurt any less.
“It started as a bet,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper, but to you, it’s as loud as a gunshot. “But it’s not like that, I swear. I—”
“What the hell is wrong with you?!”
He flinches at your words, pain flashing across his face, but you can’t stop. It’s like all the anger, all the heartbreak, all the humiliation you’ve been choking down is pouring out of you in a torrent, and you don’t have the strength to hold it back. You can see the panic rising in him, the desperation as he realizes just how badly he’s messed up. He takes another step toward you, his hand reaching out, but you jerk away, 
“We’re done.”
“Please, just listen,” he pleads, his voice cracking.
“No.”
And with that, you leave. 
Rafe’s voice echoes behind you as you walk away, but you refuse to look back. The gym doors swing shut, muffling the sounds of the practice resuming, and you’re left in the eerily quiet hallway, your breath coming in ragged gasps. 
The locker room is cold and empty when you push open the door. The scent of body spray and sweat lingers in the air. You head straight to your locker again, hands trembling as you fumble with the lock, desperate to escape. But before you can get it open, the door swings wide behind you, and you know, without turning around, that he followed you.
“Go away,” you say, your voice barely holding steady.
“I can’t,” he says, his voice strained with desperation. “Not like this.”
You spin around, your eyes blazing with anger. “You don’t get to decide that. You used me! And for what? Some sick joke with your friends?”
He takes a step closer, his hands raised as if to placate you, but you back away, your heart pounding. “I know I messed up,” he says, his voice thick with regret. “I know I should’ve told you the truth, but I—”
“But you didn’t,” you cut him off, your voice rising. “You let me believe that you cared about me, that everything was real, and all the while it was just a game to you. You and your friends laughed in my face the entire time, didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t a game,” he insists, his voice cracking. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay? This wasn't the plan. I changed. Being with you... it was the only thing that felt real to me.”
You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes. “I don’t believe you.” 
Rafe looks at you, his expression torn between guilt and desperation. 
“It wasn’t a joke. It started as a stupid bet, but I never expected to actually—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I care about you. That’s real.”
For a moment, you see the boy who had made you feel special, who had made you believe in something more. But it's not enough.
“I don’t even know who you are."
You want to believe him, to take solace in the idea that some part of what you had was real, but you can't. You shake your head again, a sob choking you as you turn away from him, your back pressing against the cold metal of the locker.
“It isn’t supposed to hurt like this,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “It’s not supposed to feel like a knife in your chest.”
Rafe takes another step closer, “Please, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice breaking. “Just give me a chance to make this right.”
"You don’t get to have a chance. You don’t get to pretend this is some kind of love story. You lied to me. You used me.”
You look at him then, really look at him, and all you see is the boy who broke your heart. The boy who turned your world upside down with a single lie. You know that if you stay, if you let him talk, you might be tempted to forgive him. But you can’t. 
Not this time.
With a deep breath, you straighten up, wiping away the tears that have stained your cheeks. “I’m done.”
“Don’t say that,” he pleads, his voice thick with desperation.
But you’ve made up your mind. 
“I mean it. We’re done. I need you to stay away from me.”
The words hit him like a physical blow, and for a moment, he just stands there, staring at you as if he can’t believe what you’re saying.
But then he sees the resolve in your eyes, the finality in your tone, and he knows there’s no coming back from this.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry.”
Without another word, you turn away from him, pushing past the locker room door and walking away. You hesitate for a split second. A small voice inside you screams to turn back, to give him one more chance, but then you imagine the laughter, the cruel satisfaction. 
The image of Rafe with his friends, laughing at your expense, sears itself into your mind. 
The door slams shut behind him, and he leans against it, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. He doesn’t feel victorious. Instead, there’s a hollowness, a quiet whisper in the back of his mind that asks, “What now?” He clenches his fists, trying to silence it, but the emptiness remains.
This time, he doesn’t follow you. 
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lassieposting · 9 months
Text
Been thinkin about Astarion + vampire biology so have some headcanons and the bits of game lore they're based on
Dialogue establishes that Cazador has been successfully passing himself off as a regular noble for centuries, and Astarion confirms that while he's considered a bit reclusive, he does mingle with the upper class of Baldur's Gate and has a property specifically for hosting fancy events.
Vampires are camouflage predators, whose primary hunting strategy is to blend in with their prey until the perfect time to strike. Their ecological niche is not a particularly safe or stable one - they live hidden in plain sight, usually in sizeable cities, for easy access to prey, but they know that if they are discovered they will be rooted out and killed or driven away. They are rarely able to get away with attacking in public, where city guards might rush to the aid of a screaming victim - they have to isolate their target before killing it. The ability to blend in, to be overlooked by their target, until it is too late is essential.
Cazador is, as far as we know, the only true vampire in Baldur's Gate
This is because true vampires are aggressively territorial. Like most apex predators, they eat a lot, and need substantial territories to support them - even moreso if they have a partner or spawns. Ascendant!Astarion would need to hold onto the entire city, as Cazador did, to be able to feed himself and Tav without raising suspicion.
True vampires are relatively rare, but there are more of them than there are cities, so it's not uncommon for one to set up in an occupied city and try to oust the sitting resident. The challenger usually believes himself to be as strong or stronger than the current tenant: these territorial disputes usually end in at least one death, so they're not to be entered into lightly.
Astarion is very obviously a vampire: his fangs are visible, as are his bite scars; he's so pale multiple people comment on it; his eyes are red, etc.
Astarion is not a healthy vampire.
This is a man who has been kept on the knife's edge of starvation and tortured regularly for 200 years, and to another vampire, that would be clear from the state of him: Astarion is a camouflage predator who is so malnourished he is no longer able to blend in.
Tav will get an up-close look at his transformation over the course of the game and during the years afterwards: the more healthy and well-fed Astarion becomes, as his body catches up on its immense energy deficit and begins to recover, the better he will be able to mimic a living elf. His skin will be able to bleed, or blush, or bruise, none of which he's capable of while actively starving. Hia fangs will retract until he needs them, not invisible but less obvious - having them out all the time is a response to severe deprivation; he's so hungry his body can't risk losing prey to the split second it takes Cazador to snatch a rat back, so he's permanently in bite mode, hyperaware, ready to strike. Some body functions will come online that he didn't even know he had, the ones that are supposed to help him blend in - his eyes will start producing pigment to look darker, less scarlet and more burgundy, to be more easily mistaken for brown; his lungs will make him breathe automatically even though he doesn't need it, he'll start being able to eat normal food without getting sick again, though he still won't get any nourishment from it; he'll heal faster. He'll even be able to get drunk, though he'll burn through it very quickly. As it stands, all those extra systems have been shut down by his starving body - they're useful, but nonessential, and he needs every single bit of energy funnelled into just keeping him alive and functional.
There is probably an intentional bit of psychological warfare against the spawns on Cazador's part here - him starving them strips them of their natural defences, and every time he makes them leave the mansion to hunt, they have to do so knowing that they're poorly hidden and vulnerable. But it's established that true vampires treating their spawn poorly or outright abusing them is A Thing, so it's not the only reason - he sees them as property rather than people, he keeps them weak so they won't plot against him, he's acting out his own trauma from Vellioth on them, he just wants to - but it does feed into it.
Astarion can, at one point, identify old blood as belonging to the player character. He also gets excited at another point if an enemy character runs away, stating, "Now it's a hunt."
He says that "even stale, [he'd] recognise that bouquet anywhere." This confirms a few things for us:
He has a vastly superior sense of smell capable of identifying individuals by scent and - since he can tell who the blood belongs to even after some time has passed - following scent trails.
This confirms that although city-dwelling vampires may primarily hunt via luring a victim to a secondary location before killing it, they still have the "stalk down and chase" predator instinct. Since Astarion can't lure wildlife anywhere, this is almost certainly how he's been hunting to supplement his diet when he's not using the player as his personal caprisun.
The fact that he can scent out prey before killing it means he has this ability all the time - he can smell blood while it's still safely inside the owner's body.
So scent is probably relevant to how vampires process the world. The more time each companion spends with him, the more he gets used to their scent, starts associating it more with safety and camaraderie than with a potential meal, and so he becomes more relaxed around them. As he learns to link the player's scent with love and comfort and trust, the more likely he is to retreat to their tent over his own when he's injured or afraid or having a trauma moment. When he's fond of someone, something of theirs will go conveniently missing - he's moving their scent into his little safe space, it's comforting for him. He can tell when his lover is hurt or aroused or frightened - though not which of the three applies - from a distance, because his sense of smell can pick up the spike of adrenaline rushing into their bloodstream.
But that also means that he can never feel like he's got any distance from Cazador while he's living in the mansion - even if the man isn't in the same room, the entire place reeks of him, and it makes Astarion feel like Cazador is breathing down his neck all the same. Ascendant Astarion would have a really, really hard time sticking it out in that mansion with stale Eau de Cazador all over the place. It means that he's put instantly on edge by the faint scent of one of his siblings as he walks through the lower city - when seven vicious, territorial apex predators are confined to a single small dormitory, several hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, fights are going to be nasty and frequent, and although Cazador wouldn't allow them to kill each other, considering how many of his siblings refer to him as weak or a runt, Astarion probably didn't win them very often. So. Having a highkey advanced sense of smell is a mixed bag.
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often-daydreaming · 13 days
Text
An Ancient's Game
It started off small at first. A robbery in Metropolis. A missing persons case in Gotham. An 'accident' in Amity Park. None of it connected. Nobody thought to connect them. It was just another case after all. There would always be another case so sometimes things slipped through the cracks. It happened.
Even heroes made mistakes after all.
They overlooked things.
But in the end they messed up and someone had to pay and someone did when Clark Kent heard his wife and son’s heartbeats vanish off the face of the earth during a somewhat quiet afternoon while he was handling a disaster in France.
He was the man of steel though, he could have made it. He should have made it but he was a second too late. His family was gone and Metropolis felt the fury of the old gods as a being made of wind and storms ripped its way free of an unseen portal cackling with mad laughter as it devastated the city.
It was another distraction though.
A massive distraction that drew the Justice League's attention away from the real prize as nightmares descended on Gotham like shadows. They morphed from the darkness slipping out through the cracks like ghosts and only Oracle saw the fight as they swarmed the youngest Robin, the Dark Knight's youngest son vanishing under an endless tide of nightmares as Nocturn took control of Gotham's nightlife.
More distractions followed as more and more of the old gods, Ancient beings long forgotten returned to Earth.
Storms raged.
The ground quaked.
Creatures of myth and legend were free to run wild as reports of everything from dragons to even yetis flooded the Watchtower.
In the end it was Diana who found their first and only clue when one of her mother's messengers appeared warning them of Themyscira's fate when a portal was opened for Undergrowth deep within the island's jungles. They fought. They fell. Then they were turned into mindless puppets bent to the monster's will as the sounds of war subsided into silence within a matter of days.
Her losses gave them a name.
Undergrowth, a creature of the green who cheered the being known as Clockwork while Constantine explained its origin.
He told them of Cronos, of the pieces of him that had formed into a new life deep within the endlessness of Infinity.
And Fate opened the way.
The first thing the gathered heroes saw was a massive clocktower surrounded by gears and pistons twisting in every direction as they spilled out into an endless void. Each tenth of a second, the hands on the clocktower click one step forward.
A single tooth on one of the smaller gears is easily the size of the Watchtower and no matter how far anyone looked there was no beginning or end to the clocktower.
There was nothing except the click, click, click of endless clocks as they stormed the Titan's lair.
Nothing stopped them.
There were no enemies or traps.
In fact the doors were left wide open as if welcoming the Justice League inside and they soon discovered why when Shazam found them. Superboy stood on a scale across from Luthor, the same with Robin and Waller. They were frozen in time, trapped in a single second of a moment while in the very middle of the massive room was a kid, easily Jon's double sleeping on a throne made out of the void of space but that wasn't what had him worried.
What worried him was the silence, the sudden nothingness in his mind as the voices of the gods empowering him faded away in the presence of the cloaked figure of Cronos suddenly standing beside the throne.
Even as the other heroes flooded into the room he couldn't hear anything besides a soft click, click, click as Superman was waved away forced into a loop of repetition that began and ended with his first step forward.
Green Lantern fell next, rapidly aged into an old man unable to match a Titan's will.
Then Constantine collapsed clutching an invisible wound on his chest. It was his contracts forcing him to obey while Fate eventually faded under time's cold embrace.
There were only a few heroes left when Flash made a move blitzing the throne only to suddenly lose his speed. The others simply glitched, like static on an old tv leaving only Shazam, J'onn and surprisingly Lois Lane standing in front of Cronos as he declared a game to decide Earth's continued existence.
'Convince each of them you're worth another chance and I'll restore everything.'
'Who's them?'
I don't really know what I was going with here. I was just listening to some of the songs from Epic and figured why not let an enraged Clockwork have some fun. I'm blaming Vlad for everything cause I can and he's done it before and caused a ton of problems for everyone else so I'm just picturing something he did or tried to do backfiring badly enough that Danny got seriously hurt so now everyone's gotta pay.
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saturnznct · 27 days
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the sims | dad!jake
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➸ note; just a summary of the sims :)
➸ word count; 2189 words
➸ warning(s); accidental pregnancy x2, a bit suggestive, birth & feeding, cryptic pregnancy
enhypen masterlist (lnks will be added later)
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you and jake meet when he and jay go to a bar together lol the two of you can’t stop staring at each other and jay, with the help of some liquid courage, convinces jake to go up to you and get your number
so you start hanging out
he’s so shy with you at first because he has such a big crush and you think he’s just adorable
one day he just thinks fuck it and kisses you and the rest is history
you’d been together for seven years and engaged for a few months when you get pregnant
you were usually great with protection but one time you’d run out of condoms and just decided to take the risk
you were terrified to tell him but he was excited, but a bit unsure of what to do
once your little bump and everything shows up he’s obsessed
very touchy, waits on you hand and foot
all the members are super excited, they love sam so another enha baby to love is super exciting
achy is probably the best way to sum up your pregnancy, your back and feet hurt a lot all of the time
when you find out you’re having a girl he gets so giddy
definitely loves a good chat with the bump 
goes all shy and bashful when she responds to him
i don’t imagine him being the type to sing to the baby?? i think he’s much more of a talker 
never ever gets tired of her moving, can literally just picture him at night being the big spoon with his hand on your bump, his chest aches every time she kicks or moves
when she moves around on the scans you can literally see stars in his eyes 
thinks you’re just the cutest when you get big, waddling around in his hoodies 
keeps the latest scan photo in his wallet
your third trimester is in winter so the fireplace in your apartment is on in the evenings
lots of cuddles together
you very rarely feel insecure because jake makes it very clear just how attractive he finds you
it helps that you’re so hormonal that you’re constantly trying to jump his bones and he is… very receptive to that 
the two of you decide to have a home birth, you love your apartment so much and its a place of comfort for you
also there’s no hassle or stress with transporting her home from a hospital or packing a bag etc
your labour is pretty nice, as much as it can be
you were only in labour for about 9 hours, and being at home surrounded by your familiar walls with the lights dimmed down
jake of course was incredibly supportive the whole time 
ella ara sim is born 10th april at your home in seoul
jake delivered her in your bathtub, and cuts the cord
the greatest moment of his entire life 
ella is a very chilled baby
feeds happily, is easily soothed
loves her daddy, jake can get her to stop crying faster than anyone
you slightly worry he holds her too much, he likes to sit by your floor to ceiling windows overlooking seoul and talk to her for hours about life and all the fun things you’ll do together when she’s older
he holds her in the early mornings in bed, on his chest or in his arms while he scrolls through his phone
these moments definitely help your relationship, when you’re both tired and drained you just sit together with or without the baby
even if you don’t talk you just have this sense that you’re in this together and you understand each other without word
Jake loves it when you’re able to pump, he loves being the one to give her bottles 
ella is only the second enha baby after sam and jay is very insistent on regular playdates, he wants them to be besties so bad 
they’re actually quite indifferent to each other lol 
shows her off to everyone who will look
has a little silver ‘e’ necklace 
when she’s about a year old she visits australia for the first time
jake fusses over her like crazy, it’s australian summer so he’s constantly smothering her with suncream and she’s got her lil bucket hat on
holds her in the pool in his family’s backyard, gently lifting her up and dunking her legs in and out of the water while she giggles like crazy
takes her to meet koalas 
he loves her to be girly, thinks she’s just the cutest when she has cute little floral clothes 
her giggles are his favourite sound in the whole world
purposely tickles her so that she giggles
once he tickles her for so long that she starts coughing and you get annoyed with him
doesn’t tickle her for a while after that
actually doesn’t mind playing with her, will happily sink hours into tea parties and roleplay
the BIGGEST daddy girl
her first word is dada
first steps are towards jake 
jake is so fucking happy
later that night he just sobs and thanks you over and over and over for giving him his perfect baby girl 
always wants to be in his arms or on his lap
jake always allows her to climb all over him and will smother her with kisses 
when ella is 2 you guys finally get married, she’s one of your little bridesmaids
jake spends a lot of time dancing with her during the reception
you enjoy married life for a while, and when ella is 3, jake begins to miss her baby days
so, the two of you decide to start trying again
about 8-9 months later you’re pregnant 
jake is so so excited he wants to tell el straight away but you shut him down lmao 
eventually when you do tell her jake is so excited, his eyes are practically sparkling when he tells her she’s going to be a big sister
you’re pretty much bed bound and sick for the first 4-5 months, you throw up a lot
you get a lot of migraines
jake is great as usual
you and jake had talked about kids before having ella and both of you hoped for at least one of each, so when you found it it was a boy you were so happy
jake suggests his name, he just thinks its so cute
declan daehyun sim is born 1st october at your home in seoul, this time on your bed
jake also delivers him and cuts his cord
slightly more challenging baby
cries often for no real reason, no matter what you do he just cries
lots of sleepless nights
ella’s in primary school at this point so lots of daytime naps together
ella actually isn’t too jealous or anything, she comes and sits quietly next to you or jake when you’re holding declan and just watches him
she likes to hold him herself 
dec is literally jake’s twin, your genes did not stand a single fucking chance 
jake’s nose, jake’s eyes, jake’s mouth, jake’s hair 
gets more and more clear as he grows into a toddler, everyone comments on it
i feel like jake is just as much of a boy dad as he is a girl dad like he has two sides
loves playing legos and football with dec
when dec is born you move into your ‘forever home’, a big apartment in seoul
there’s a pool in your apartment complex so you best believe most nights after dinner jake takes the kids down
when declan is around 18 months, you start throwing up and it doesn’t stop for a couple of weeks and you and jake are like… what the hell
you were on birth control that didn’t give you periods so you didn’t think it would be pregnancy but alas…
you go to the doctor and you’re 5 months pregnant and you had no idea
bit of a shock of course
you don’t know how to react at first 
like dec is still so young, your birth control had clearly failed, you only had 4 months to prepare
but there obviously isn’t much you can really do other than just start gearing up for your baby’s arrival
you get a bump and some symptoms soon after you find out
pregnancy starts kicking your ass during the third trimester though, doesn’t help you’re running after declan all day
jake of course is the best like you don’t even need to say anything, if you’re having a hard day he can just tell and will do anything to alleviate your stress
like if declan is being a lil shit and you’re stressed jake will seamlessly distract him with something else
weirdly good at convincing declan he needs a nap 
you decide to keep the gender a surprise because you know this will definitely be your last one and you’ve had enough surprises yk  
eve sim was born at your home 8th september
born on your bed
jake delivers her and cuts the cord
you’re both ecstatic with another girl, she’s the double of ella as a baby
you don’t give her a name until she’s a couple of days old, jake starts calling her evie cause he thinks it sounds cute, you decide on eve cause it works in korean too 
ella loves eve, she’s so excited to have a sister
declan is not so sure
he’s a bit jealous, especially since he’s still a little baby himself
is a little bratty about it too
you’ll sit down to feed eve and he’ll come up to you and start whining and tugging on your pants
cue jake waltzing in to distract him
i don’t think jake would be very strict
he is very much their friend and ally and they know that 
hates punishments and discipline, i mean he’ll dish it out but really struggles to stay strong when they cry or get upset
will apologise for having to do it afterwards
i don’t think he would be a very pushy parent, wouldn’t be too strict about grades or extra curriculars, but will support them in whatever it is 
the kids go to swimming lessons, but jake loves to help them in your pool at home, it reminds him of his childhood in Australia
definitely the type to just launch them in the air much to your horror 
loves it when the kids come to see a concert, just the knowledge that the kids are in the crowd gives him a little extra energy
engene posting on twitter that jake looks so happy
everything is all about the kids backstage, if they’re there then jake and the members are smothering them in attention
if he goes on your without them he always comes back with toys
accidentally starts a tradition of buying a teddy in each place he goes 
when you pick them up from school their plaits and ponytails and what have you obviously fell out hours ago
eve and ruby are a few months apart in age so they are besties of course 
jake would absolutely say the worst part of being a father is the kids growing up, when they get too big for him to hold and cuddle properly is when his heart hurts when he looks at them
he loves babies so much and always always misses the baby days but seeing his kids grow into independent, strong willed, talented individuals makes him so proud
they’re always his baby girls/boy
even when they’re older he will still give them cuddles when they’re sad
the kids go to australia maybe once a year or every other year, visit jake’s family
but you settle in a big apartment in seoul
kids speak a mix of english and korean at home, there’s no real pattern to it
they speak english amongst each other but i think with jake they mix it up
they also use mainly english names at home, you and jake like them more
they use korean and korean names pretty much anywhere outside the house
although ella does get called el by the members and jake pretty much at all times 
overall the sim family is so so so full of love <3
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