#and Rufus talks to Bobby. Bobby talks to Rufus. how is this happening? did they break the rules? get a second chance?

[quietwingsinthesky]

I’m not one for soulmates AUs but bobbyrufus soulmate AU of the ‘you have the last words your soulmate will ever say to you on your body somewhere’ kind.

[winchesterwild78]

A Little Bit Stronger 

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Language, body image issues, Dean being a dick, John being a dick, angst, light smut, assault

A/N: I was stuck in traffic on my way home today and my playlist started playing the song “A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans, and it got me thinking about a story where the reader had dated Dean for years, they broke up and she’s dealing with the loss of their relationship. She’s learning how to move on, and she’s slowly getting better. Then out of nowhere, the green eyed hunter pops back into her life. Mention of Supernatural characters, but doesn’t follow the timeline. 

I’m not sure how long this will be. Maybe a chapter or two, or maybe one really long chapter. 

All work is my own, I don’t give permission for it to be taken or posted anywhere else. Feel free to reblog. 

Minors DNI 18+

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

You pulled the blanket over your head when your alarm went off. Turning over after turning it off. Not feeling like getting up or going to work. Let’s be honest, you didn’t feel like doing much of anything lately. 

Knowing you were going to be late you slowly climbed out of bed. 

Getting out of bed used to be so much easier when you had something, well someone to look forward to. 

You met Dean Winchester and his younger brother Sam about 10 years ago. They were on a hunt, the same one you were on too. 

Of course you’d heard all about the Winchester Brothers. The ones Hell itself couldn’t hold. They were feared and respected in the hunter community. 

You remember the night you met them, like it was yesterday. That was the night you fell in love with Dean. You were pretty sure he had fallen in love too, even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

You were working on clearing a vampire nest, when these two giants came in and tried to take over. 

You and Dean lunged at each other, both thinking the other was a vampire. Dean’s machete swiped against your collarbone, causing a gash to appear, and you to pass out. 

“Dean, she’s not a vamp. Stop! You’re going to kill her!” You remember Sam yelling before you passed out. 

Before Dean got that slice in, you were holding your own against him. 

You woke up a few hours later to the soft whispers of the brothers, and the hum of an air conditioner. 

When you went to sit up, you realized you didn’t have a shirt on. Just your bra. Grabbing the blanket and holding it up, you looked at the brothers. “What happened, where am I, and who the hell are you?” 

Sam offered a soft smile, Dean sat with a tight jaw. “I’m Sam and that’s my brother Dean. You’re at our hotel. We brought you here to patch you up. When you and Dean were fighting, his machete cut you pretty bad. You passed out from blood loss, so we brought you here.” 

Your eyes blinked a few times before talking, “You’re Sam and Dean Winchester?!” The boys exchanged a quick glance. Sam questioned, “So you’ve heard of us. Which means you’re either a monster, demon or hunter.” 

“I’m Y/N, a Hunter. My parents were hunters and used to hunt with Bobby and Rufus. I grew up in this life, like you guys did.” 

“Well, Y/N. It’s nice to meet you. I have to ask though, why are you hunting alone?” 

“Oh, my parents retired so to speak and are living a quiet life together, my brother is married, with kids and a “normal” life. My boyfriend and I just broke up.” 

You noticed the older Winchester kept his distance and his eyes locked on you. When you mentioned a boyfriend his jaw tensed more. Normally when someone is staring you down it makes you uncomfortable, but with him it made your heart race and your cheeks flush. 

You’d occasionally make eye contact with him and you were completely mesmerized by his piercing green eyes. He would shift in his chair anytime you looked at him or bit your lip. 

“Well thank you guys for patching me up. I need to get going though. Where’s my shirt?” That’s when you realized your pants were gone too. “And where are my pants?!” Panic filled your body. 

Did they take advantage of you? Sam and Dean saw your panic. That’s when the eldest Winchester spoke. His voice was gruff and sent a shiver through you. 

“Hey, calm down sweetheart, your shirt was ripped and covered in blood, your pants were too. We didn’t think you’d want to sleep in clothes covered in blood.” 

Embarrassment rushed through you. “Yeah you’re right, sorry. I’ve just met my fair share of bad people. I didn’t mean to accuse either of you of anything.”

Dean stood and stepped closer to you, “it’s okay. Just know we would never hurt you.” 

You were lost in each other’s eyes when Sam broke the silence by clearing his throat. “Guys I’m gonna grab some food. I’ll be back soon. Y/N, you like burgers?” “Yes, that sounds great. Thank you.” You softly smiled. 

Sam left, closing the door behind him. Leaving you and Dean in the room together. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. Then you broke the silence, “Um, Dean. I really need some clothes. I can’t just walk around in my bra and panties. I don’t want to traumatize you or Sam.” You chuckled softly, but you meant it. 

Sam and Dean were good looking and you’d heard about “Dean’s type”. You were far from it. Where he liked thin, flat stomach, busty women, you had a stomach, extra weight in places, you were thicker than most, and your breasts were slightly different sizes. 

Dean looked at you, tilted your chin slightly and whispered “You could never traumatize me.” Red filled your cheeks and you bit your lip. 

Was Dean Winchester really flirting with you? Most definitely not. Maybe he just sees you as an easy screw, cause you’d give in to him in a heartbeat, but you’d never been a love them and leave them person. 

You pulled the sheet up more and tried to look away. Dean kept his hand on your chin, “I’m so sorry I hurt you sweetheart. I would have never hurt you if I knew you weren’t a monster.” 

Feeing brave you stood up, sheet still around you, you touched his cheek, “I know Dean. It was an accident. I do still need some clothes though. Maybe a shower too.” 

Before your brain could process what was happening, Dean leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “So beautiful” he whispered. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower. You can borrow some of my clothes.” 

Your mind was racing. Dean Winchester just kissed you. What the hell was going on?! 

Your heart was pounding in your chest and ears as Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the bathroom. 

“Dean I can do this myself, I’m not that injured.” You tried to protest. “I know, but where’s the fun in that.” He winked at you. 

Holy shit! Dean is flirting with me and that kiss oh my god. I never thought a single kiss could make me instantly wet. 

You smirked at Dean, “What’s your plan Mr Winchester?” “Whatever you want Ms Y/L/N. I know what I want, but it’s up to you.” 

“Dean I don’t know what to say. I’m not like the women you’re usually with. I can’t do one night stands.” 

Dean stepped closer to you and pulled the sheet away, your breath quickened. He leaned down and crashed his lips to yours. Pulling your body flush to his. Your hands went behind his neck and into his hair. Moaning in his mouth you felt your body responding to his touch. 

When his lips pulled back he said “Then don’t.” 

That night Dean and you had sex in the shower, on the bed and the couch. You stayed with the boys after that. Your relationship with Dean deepened. 

About three years ago you and Dean were talking about how your parents were able to get out of the life and live normally. You explained to Dean it was a hard process and one that took a lot of work on their part. They eventually made it. 

Laying in Dean’s arms was your favorite place to be. Your head was on his chest and he mindlessly ran his fingers up and down your arm. 

“I love you baby. So much. Marry me?” You gasped softly and leaned up, “Dean, do you mean it?” “Yes, sweetheart. I want to marry you and have children with you. If your parents could do it, I’m sure we can too.” 

Tears streamed down your face, “Yes, Dean. I’ll marry you.” Dean pulled you into a kiss. When you leaned back he slipped a small diamond on your finger. “It’s beautiful, baby.” 

He kissed you again. The past few years with Dean had been amazing. You both learned to navigate your love while you hunted side by side. Sam had found someone too, Eileen. She was his perfect match. The four of you were great together. 

There was however one obstacle in your life, John Winchester. You’d met John a few times over the years, and each time the tension was palatable. You tried your best to charm him and get him to approve of your relationship, but he refused. He said you were nothing but a distraction and a way for Dean to pass the time after a hunt. The words hurt, but nothing could prepare you for what was to come. 

The morning after Dean proposed, he called Sam and told him he finally did it. Sam and Eileen were over the moon. Then came the phone call that scared you the most. Dean had to call his father. 

Dean sat beside you on the couch and called John. “Hello, Dean.” John’s gruff voice boomed through the line. “Hey dad, I need to tell you something.” “Dean if you’re about to tell me you fucked up and got Y/N pregnant I’ll beat your ass.” Dean’s eyes went wide, “What?! No, dad, she’s not pregnant.” You scoffed when you heard that. “Well, then what is it son?” “Dad, I asked her to marry me. She said yes. We’re getting married.” 

There was silence on Dean’s end of the phone. The only sound was your heart pounding in your ears. 

You reached for Dean’s hand and he pulled away, getting up. He started pacing the room, his jaw tight with anger and frustration. You knew John was saying something to him, because he was nodding and would occasionally let out a “Yes, sir.” 

It seemed like hours before Dean hung up. When he hung up he looked tense. “Dean, what did he say?” “Don’t worry about it.” He snapped. You flinched at his tone. Dean had never spoken to you like that before.

You looked down at your lap and fidgeted with your hands, “Okay, Dean.” He stormed outside and slammed the front door behind him, making you jump. You were determined to find out what happened, and if Dean wouldn’t talk to you, then you’d go straight to the source. 

Taking out your phone you dialed John’s number. A few rings later John answered, “What do you want, Y/N?” “Well hello to you too, John. I wanted to know what you said to Dean. He was mad and left.” “Good, he came to his senses. Look, you’re a nice girl, but you’re not right for Dean. He doesn’t really love you. The only woman he’s ever loved was Lisa. She’s a better match for him than you could ever be.” 

Your breath caught in your throat, he’d never mentioned Lisa. “John, why are you so cruel? Dean loves me and we are getting married, whether you like it or not.” John laughed and you growled in frustration. “Keep thinking that, sweetheart. I need to go. Have a nice life, Y/N.”

He hung up and you were fuming. 

You tried to call Dean but he didn’t answer. As the night wore on you slipped further into despair. Did Dean leave me? Was John telling the truth about Lisa, and does Dean really still love her? Why won’t he come home? 

You softly cried until the tears wouldn’t fall. You curled up on the couch and fell asleep. Around daybreak you heard Dean stumble in. You sat up looking at Dean. He was drunk, and you noticed the faint smell of perfume and you saw a hickey on his neck.

“Dean, where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.” “Aww don’t be like that sweetheart, I was just having some fun. It’s been too long since I had any fun.” Your heart clenched at his words. “Dean, I don’t understand. What’s going on with you? You left without saying a word, came home drunk, smelling like another woman and you have a hickey. I thought you loved me, wanted to marry me.” 

“Well you thought wrong. I was wrong. This (he motioned between the two of you) was fun while it lasted, but I think it’s time to move on.” You sat stunned, speechless. “Dean, you don’t mean that. You’re drunk and not thinking clearly.” “No sweetheart, that’s where you’re wrong again, I’m thinking very clear. You were right all those years ago, you aren’t my type. I mean maybe if you lost a little weight and actually tried to be pretty.”

You let out a gasp, and before you knew it you slapped him across the face. Your heart broke. “Dean, why are you doing this? What the hell happened?” “I’m finally thinking clearly, my dad reminded me that I’m truly in love with Lisa and she’s the mother of my child, Ben. I owe it to them to make it work.” 

“Dean, please don’t do this. How can you just walk away from us?” “Easy, I’m packing and moving in with Lisa and my son. I spent last night with her and it felt good to be back in her arms.” You felt sick to your stomach. 

Dean walked into your shared room and grabbed his duffel bag and started packing. You sat on your bed and watched him pack, silent tears falling. With each item he packed your heart broke more. As Dean put the last thing in his bag he glanced over at you. With a tremble in your voice you tried one last time, “Dean please don’t walk away from us. I love you, and I know you love me. Please don’t do this. We can figure this out.”

Dean just looked at you and grabbed his bag. You followed him to the door, “Dean, before you go, here.” You slid the ring off your finger and handed it to him. His eyes filled with sadness as more tears fell from yours. “I’ll always love you, Dean.”

He turned and walked out the door. You collapsed on the floor.

It was 3 years ago today that Dean Winchester broke your heart. You’re slowly getting better, but days like today, anniversary days are hard. You moved in with your parents temporarily, got a pretty good job working at the office your brother worked at, and now you had your own place. 

As you opened your closet to get dressed for work you glanced over and saw the t-shirt Dean loaned you the first night you met. Your fingers lightly brushed over the fabric and the happier memories came flooding back. 

You’d kept in touch with Sam and Eileen. They had since gotten married and had a little boy. They left hunting and Sam went back to law school, becoming a lawyer. You’d occasionally ask about Dean, and Sam would tell you he was okay. You also found out that John had died in a car accident about a year ago. You knew Dean would have been devastated. 

You got to work about 10 minutes late. Sitting at your desk your mind wandered to the thought of Dean. You missed him so much, but with each passing day you got a little bit stronger. You knew you’d never fully get over him. He was the love of your life and you were supposed to marry him and have his children. Now he’s in the arms of another woman. 

Your friend from work, Libby invited you to the bar with her and a few other colleagues. It was Friday and it had been a long week. At first you weren’t going to go, but decided to drink until you forgot him. You went home after work, changed and caught an Uber to the bar. 

You decided to wear your jeans, low heel boots and a nice top that revealed just enough. You put your hair up in a messy bun and applied some light makeup. Stepping out of the Uber you saw Libby at the door. “Hey, Y/N! So glad you could make it.” She pulled you into a hug. 

You and the rest of the people in your group settled at a table at the back of the bar. Drinks flowed and you were starting to get tipsy. One of your male colleagues, Ryan, came out too. He’d flirted a few times with you, but you never gave in. You, Libby and a few other girls got up and started dancing. Libby leaned into you and said “Don’t look now, but Ryan is watching you.” You glanced over and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You smiled at him. “Yeah, I don’t know.” “Come on girl, it’s been 3 years. You can move on.” You hadn’t thought about Dean all night, now he’s all you could think about. 

“I’m, um, gonna get some air.” Libby nodded sadly. She knew how much you had loved Dean and how much it broke your heart. You grabbed your jacket and walked outside. Taking out your phone you scrolled through the pictures of you and Dean. You sighed sadly, “I miss you so much Dean. I miss how happy we were, how in love we were. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.” 

Tears started to flow freely. 

You stood outside a few minutes longer looking at the pictures of a happier time. The sound of a voice pulled your attention up. “Hey ya sweetheart.” That voice, you knew that voice. You looked up and saw Dean standing in front of you. He looked good. You were speechless. 

“How are you? You look good, sweetheart.” “Dean…I…” Your words stuck in your throat. He stepped closer to you, and his thumb brushed your cheek. “Still as beautiful as ever.” 

Fury filled your body after what he said, “Dean, what are you doing here?” You stepped away from him. “I was here at the bar tonight with some work buddies and I saw you. I needed to talk to you. It’s been too long.” 

You scoffed, “It’s been too long?! Dean, you’re the one who walked away, not me. You threw our relationship away. You proposed and then the next day you slept with another woman and left me for her. Oh and let’s not forget I found out you had a kid I didn’t know about. I heard you were engaged again, Congratulations. I hope you and Lisa have a wonderful life together.”

You started to walk away, but Dean grabbed your arm, “Baby, please.” You tried to free yourself from his grip, “Don’t baby me. You lost that privilege when you chose another woman over me. It’s taken me 3 years to finally get to where I am. I don’t cry myself to sleep every night, and I don’t question my worth as much anymore. I was doing all of that because of YOU! I gave you everything, EVERYTHING! I loved you. I wanted to marry you and have your children. Goodbye, Dean.”

As you started to walk away you glanced at him one last time, “Just so you know Dean, I still love you. I wish I didn’t, but I will always love you.” You walked away, heading towards the bar so you could get your Uber. You needed to get away from Dean. Just being near him made your heart clench with pain and love. 

Dean stood frozen, he had been keeping a secret from you he desperately needed you to hear, but would you listen? Would you really care? 

Just as you reached the door, Dean grabbed your arm, “Y/N, please I need to tell you something.” You turned and looked into his green eyes, you saw pain, sadness and love. “Y/N, I love you sweetheart, I was a fool to push you away. I want to come home to you. Please baby.” You’d waited 3 years to hear him say that, but your heart was scared. You wanted him to profess his love to you, but was he being genuine? You were afraid what would happen if he wasn’t, you couldn’t bear to get over him again. 

“Dean, it’s too late. You’re in love with Lisa, she’s your fiance and had your son. I can’t and I won’t compete with that.” He stepped closer to you, “Sweetheart, she’s not my fiance, we broke up, and Ben isn’t mine. She said he was, but he isn’t. I ended things with her because I realized I wasn’t in love with her. There’s been only one woman in my life that I truly loved, well love. Because I still do. I love you.”

“Dean, I don’t know what to say. You said some really horrible things to me.” “I know, but I knew if I didn’t you wouldn’t let me go. I’m so sorry. I‘ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix this, fix us.” “Then why did you do it, Dean?” 

“When I talked to my dad that day he played into my fears, my fears of losing you, of our children having to grow up without you or me. He also told me it was safer with Lisa and that Ben was mine. I’m sorry sweetheart, I believed him. My life has been miserable the past three years. There hasn’t been a single second where I didn’t think of you.”

You scoffed, “Then why did it take you three years?! If you were that miserable, why did you warm her bed for three years, while mine was cold? Dean, I can’t do this. Please just let me go.” You turned as the tears started to fall. 

Making your way to the front of the bar, you called an Uber and waited out front for it. Standing outside waiting, Ryan came out of the bar to talk to you. “Hey, Y/N, leaving so soon?” “Yeah, I’m just tired and need to go home.” Ryan touched your arm, “Hmm that’s a shame. I was hoping to have gotten at least one dance with you.” You smiled softly as a blush filled your cheeks.

Ryan was a good looking man, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t fantasized about him. Maybe it was the raw emotions you were feeling, or the bravery brought on by the alcohol, but you leaned into Ryan and placed a kiss on his lips. He pulled you closer to his body and his hands went in your hair, deepening the kiss. You moaned into his mouth. 

As the Uber pulled up you and Ryan climbed in. Not able to keep your hands off each other. Once in the car, Ryan started kissing your neck. You leaned your head back and as you looked out the window you saw Dean standing on the sidewalk with a look of shock and sadness on his face.

A few minutes later you and Ryan were walking into your apartment. The two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Clothes began to fly and hands roamed. You moaned into his mouth as his body hovered over yours. You hadn’t had sex with anyone since Dean. 

Trying to push Dean out of your mind you decided sex with Ryan would help. As things heated up between you and Ryan, you grabbed a condom from the side table. Ryan slid it on and pushed in. You gasped at the feeling. He definitely didn’t give you time to be ready or adjust like Dean did. Ryan was rushing, you tried desperately to chase your release, but it felt like Ryan was only concerned with him. Stop! Stop comparing him to Dean! He’s not Dean, he will never be Dean.

Tears began to fall. You were about to tell Ryan to stop, but his lips crashed on yours in a forceful kiss. He wasn’t gentle at all. His thrusts were hard and angry. You weren’t enjoying yourself. Trying to slip your hand between the two of you, so you could get off, proved to be the wrong move. Ryan became angry, “What the fuck are you doing?!” “I’m trying to get off too.” “No! You don’t get to touch yourself. I’ll get you off.” “Well, you’re not going to fucking me like you are.” Ryan slapped you across your face. 

You screamed in pain and tried to push him off of you. “Get the fuck off of me!” “No! You don’t get to start this then tell me to stop.” “The fuck I can’t! Get the fuck off NOW!” Just as you were about to knee him, you felt Ryan being pulled away. 

When you looked up you saw Dean, he pulled Ryan off of you and punched him over and over. “She said get off of her! Don’t you ever fucking touch her again or I’ll kill you! Now get the fuck out!” Dean growled. 

You’d grabbed the sheet and pulled it around you. Ryan grabbed his stuff and left calling you a whore under his breath. As soon as he was gone Dean was at your side, “Are you okay, sweetheart? Did he hurt you?” The tears started to flow freely as Dean pulled you into his arms. His sweet, protective arms. You buried your face in his chest and cried as he held you. “I’m sorry Dean. I left with him to make you jealous. This is all my fault.” 

“No baby, this isn’t your fault. You’re okay now, he’s gone.” “And you’re here. Protecting me like always.” “I’ll always protect you, sweetheart. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and in bed.” 

Dean helped you up and you went to the bathroom to clean up and check your face. There would be a bruise, but things could have been so much worse. You got cleaned up and dressed, when you walked back into your bedroom, you saw Dean laying on your bed with his boxers on and nothing else. “Come on sweetheart, get some sleep. I’ve got you.” He offered his arm and you curled up next to him. You laid on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as you drifted off to sleep.

When Dean was sure you were asleep, he placed a soft kiss on your head, “I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” 

Part 2…..coming soon

Tags are open, if you want to be added, let me know.  

Tags: 

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 

@k-slla @jackles010378 

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 

@roseblue373 @cheynovak 

@jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa 

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @glenpowellheart 

[sammydontcrynomore]

Ok, this is what pissed me off about the Supernatural finale.

One of the things I loved about this show is its lessons.

And one of the most valuable lessons is that you choose your Family.

If someone is related to you but he/she is nothing but a douchebag, if he/she never be there for you, if he/she is toxic, then it's not your Family.

And that, that is a fucking deep lesson.

I for example struggled for years bc I thought that if someone is related to me, even if he/she had always been a shitty person, is anyway my family and I owe he/she something.

Supernatural taught me that it's not like that. Supernatural taught me that true Family is who is always there for you, especially during hard times. It's who cares for you, it's who knows everything about you, bad and good things, and still loves you.

And it's not about blood, it's not about being related.

It's a fucking important lesson that can change the way you see life and relationships.

And then comes the finale.

And everything is erased.

How painful are these words? After all the things they did and all the people they've met, the Family they've built...

The last Dean's speech is all about him and Sam, ONLY he and Sam. He said that the only important thing is Sam, always been. Period.

And then he goes to heaven and meets Bobby. Bobby was like a father to him and Sam, always helped them and protected them. But hey no time for you, just as I understand how heavens work (and most of all that Sam will come) time for me to go.

He tells Dean that Rufus is here, that his parents are here, and that Cas is here, but nothing and no one is important to Dean.

He just wants to wait for Sam. That's all.

He doesn't care for his parents, his friends, and even for Cas. Cas who is Family, bc he said that multiple times.

But nothing matters anymore, just him and Sam. He has to wait anyway so why in the hell wouldn't he go to see one of them?

He would care to know if they're ok, if everything is fine. He would go to see and talk to them, telling them everything that happened.

Why they have to erase everything that was built in fifteen seasons?

Of course Dean cares about Sam! Of course is one, maybe even the most, important person in his life but is not the only one! 

Why they erase all the relationships they've built, all the people they care about, the ones who even if they're not blood became Sam and Dean's Family?

This is not the Supernatural I know, this is not the Supernatural I love.

[whiskyanndboots]

Brutal

Summary - "Dean, I care about our relationship way too much just to be your South Dakota good time while you're in town"

Pairing - DeanxReader - Platonic!BobbyxReader

Warnings -Angst, infodump for upcoming series, tension, no editing once again

Slight continuation of SNAP

Meeting Bobby Singer had changed your life entirely, he and Rufus had saved you and two co-workers from a vampire attack after several Friday night margaritas. Your co-workers were happy to forget it had ever happened, even denied it after awhile, you however couldn't let it go. You'd researched every single thing you could about vampires, your brief encounter helped you weed out the impossible from the highly probable. 

You call it some kind of early midlife crisis, you had regularly taken time off your job to track down victims of possible vampire attacks. You are well aware how unhinged that was, you even had the crazy person map on the wall with thread attached to markers detailing all the possible vampire attacks in the area you'd been able to find, colour coded and everything. 

You decided since you weren't actively looking to interact with any vampires, just gathering information tor curiosities sake that you were safe. 

The next 4 months you were practically obsessed and while on one of your solo road trips you found a lead in Colorado that lead you to another in New York. You had stopped in the small town of Sioux Falls for the day to rest before driving more. Seeing one of the men that had saved you in the aisle of a grocery store buying beer and hamburger helper was so unexpected you almost ran into a coca cola display. 

He had ducked his head when he'd recognised you, he had rushed the cashier when you'd gone to talk to him anyway and he'd started speed walking to his car when you dumped your things and followed him out. 

Bobby Singer was not happy when you told him what you'd been doing if the "Are you out of your goddamn mind?!" was anything to go by. 

You'd told Bobby you weren't hunting, god no, you just wanted to know about this hidden world inside the one you thought you knew. You'd showed him the journal of vampire facts you'd written, which he immediately pointed out two wrong things you'd thought were correct.

He'd rubbed a hand down his face and stared for a moment. Then he asked how old you were, what you did and if you were married, children, basically everything about your life. He'd quickly realised you weren't going to be convinced into going home or letting this go so he begrudgingly told you his address. 

Right there in a Sioux Falls grocery store parking lot started your unlikely friendship.

You turned up at Bobby's the next morning and he grumpily educated you on vampires and let you have free rein of his extensive library so you'd go and leave him "the hell alone". Three weeks later, you'd quit your job and moved to Sioux Falls, you got a job at a tavern and rented a room nearby, you'd visit Bobby on weekends, sometimes even weekday afternoons. 

You'd never said you weren't impulsive or that you weren't escaping your old life. 

Around six weeks later you were living in Bobby's spare room, he'd said "Why are you wasting money on that shithole, I've got a room upstairs as along as you don't plan on annoyin' the crap outta me", you moved in and realised Singer Salvage was a mess on the business front. You'd spent your days researching monsters, trying to learn ancient languages which was as hard as it sounds, and organising Singer Salvage's inventory and sales. You'd quit your bar job when you'd started making Bobby money and he decided you were now his receptionist, both for hunters and the junk yard. It made it all more believable when you picked up and 'transferred' calls to your boss when cops called.

You'd later learn why Bobby was so willing to take you in. 

One night in late July, not long after you'd moved in, you'd both had a bit to drink and you built up the courage to finally ask Bobby about an old polaroid you'd found of himself and two young men. He'd told you about Dean and hell, how Sam's been of the grid ever since he died. Bobby had lost the two men he'd considered sons and you were filling some kind of void for him though he'd never admitted it, he wanted some companionship.

It was for the first time you really understood the sadness and loss that came with hunting, Bobby had many friends, not many close, but no family. 

The more time you spent with Bobby the soft spot you immediately had for him became ten times it's size. You learnt to cook more, he complained about the healthier things, but the guy had to watch his chloestrol. You cleaned when he was away and catlogued his never ending junk yard of parts and cars to sell. You still remembered the look on his face when you pulled out $2500 in cash you'd gotten on a day trip you'd taken to sell his stuff after he'd told you this 'junk wasn't worth that much". Problem was Bobby knew where every artififact, weapon, rare herbs and weird stuff was in his house, but he couldn't remember all the things he had buried out back amoungst the rusted out steel. 

Google had turned you into a parts expert, the only rule he had was to make sure he didn't need it and not to let any buyers here, public exchange only. 

It was an oddly simple life considering Bobby's profession. You became receptioinist for Singer Salvage by day and various FBI and Department of whatevers assistants in the shadows,he'd taught you how to answer phones while he was gone, what to say to keep the hunters out there covered and what kills what so you could help any hunter who called when he wasn't around. You were no Bobby, but you were getting better. 

Bobby had decided a beat up 1970 Chevy Chevelle was going to teach you all things cars, told you that you should know how to do things on your own, this one wasn't going so well, honestly Bobby had done most of it while you watched and admittedly zoned out for majority of it. 

The only thing Bobby wouldn't do was let you hunt. That was a hard, solid line and you did not mind in the slightest, you'd had to help on one salt and burn once when Bobby needed and that was enough. Monsters, ghosts and demons in theory were interesting, the reality of it you could miss. 

Bobby's drinking had you more worried than any supernatural creature did, you enjoyed the occasional alcoholic beverage, but the empty bottles you'd fine some mornings that weren't there when you went to bed worried you, but he would snap if you ever pushed. You were planning on a more subtle intervention.

You'd gone to a friends wedding in September and returned to absolute chaos of a resurection and an apocalypse. Bobby wanted you to pack your things and leave, you refused. You now wondered if that choice was a huge mistake. 

That was the first time you'd met Sam and Dean Winchester. 

It felt like a lifetime ago. 

It was February now and they'd missed both Christmas and New Years, you'd forced Bobby into swapping gifts on Christmas and by gifts you meant a bottle of scotch and some skincare gift pack Bobby must have grabbed at the grocery store, which strangely made you feel warm inside. 


You, Sam, Dean and Bobby were now sitting on Bobby's front porch and had been for the last few hours, just talking, it was nice considering how intense things had been for the last few months.


Sam and Dean had been through alot with the snippets Bobby had told you, despite how very much involved you were Bobby was still keeping it vague with what was going on out there. You'd heard them talking about a demon named Alistair, Lilith, Angels and Seals when you had turned on the shower and snuck out to listen to what they were talking about when they thought you couldn't hear.

Lilith. 

She hadn't come for you, it'd been months. Your rescue from her demon minions was miraculous and you'd been living on the edge ever since, Lilith had said she needed you for something, you have no idea what. 

You laughed loudly with everyone at Bobby's story about a hunt with Rufus, you were pleasantly buzzed after a few vodka limes on this particularly hot afternoon. You liked when Dean and Sam came, especially when you had moments like this, moments when you could pretend the apocalypse wasn't looming over you all. 

You stood up asking if anyone else wanted another drink with an all around yes. You said you'd get some snacks too.

Three days ago when Sam and Dean arrived was the first time you'd seen Dean since the motel room incident two months ago. Some nights you couldn't sleep thinking about that night, just rolling around unable to get comfortable or relaxed because you couldn't stop relieving the way Dean's hands felt on your skin, how his mouth felt against yours. 

Neither of you had brought it up again, just like you'd asked. 

You opened the refrigerator pulling out some cheese, dip and salami and crackers. The first time you'd made a glorified cheese platter for Bobby he'd scrunched his face up at 'this fancy crap' you'd stared at him incredulously, 'fancy? It's lazy dinner'

Now he's a cheese platter fiend, not that he'd admit it. You regularly drink beer on a Saturday afternoon eating too much cheese and breadsticks while watching football or reality TV.

"Want some help?" Dean's voice startled you, you turned around from cutting salami to see him leaning in the door way. 

"No, I'm nearly done, do you want your beer?" You asked grabbing a bottle from there fridge and holding it out towards him to quick not to be obviously nervous. 

Dean pushed off the doorway, his eyes moved down your body as he crossed the room, so brazenly, you were immediately off kilter. The tank top and denim shorts suddenly made you feel suddenly bare.

You wouldn't let him know, you wouldn't show him how much he rattled you. You were an adult for god sake, why did he make you so nervous and stupid? he never used to. 

You'd been lulled into a false sense of security, you weren't sure if it was going to be awkward when you watched the Impala roll up the driveway, but to your great relief Dean was completely normal, he was even back to his old self and wasn't treating you like you were cotton wool.

The blatant way he was checking you out caught you off guard, It had to be the alcohol you'd all consumed.


He took the bottle from your hand and you quickly turned back to the food you were getting ready, you took a swig of the vodka you'd made yourself to calm down.

You had to get a grip on yourself. 

"I'll be out soon" You said without turning around. You just had to get this ready and go back out and continue drinking, eating and laughing, no issues.

"You been doing ok, feel like we haven't talked?" Dean asked from behind, damnit he wasn't leaving.

He was right, you'd found yourself alone with him two days ago while you were making some tweaks to the Chevelle, you were about to get Bobby to check it over, you weren't an overly confident home mechanic without him yet. 

"She not running?" Dean's voice made you jump. 

"Jesus, Dean" You huffed holding your chest.

"Bit on edge there (Y/N)" He laughed "What's going on?" He peered under the hood beside you. 

"Making a weird noise, I think something is loose and vibrating on the engine, I'm pretty sure it's here" You pointed, looking at Dean for assurance.

“Can I have a look?" Dean questioned raising his eyebrows. 

"Sure" You smiled easily moving out of his way.

Dean leant under the hood and peered into your engine bay "Can you turn her on?" 

You moved to the front seat and turned the key until you heard Dean yell to stop. You jumped out and came back to stand beside him.

"Very close, looks like that one, but it's further back" He strained leaning further in and gestured "Over here" you peered over his shoulder. 

"We can get this apart and tighten it up this afternoon, won't take long" He smiled widely. 

So you did, well mostly Dean did while you watched.

"There' Dean grunted twisting the wrench into place. 

You were suddenly very distracted by Dean's arms, he was pulling on the wrench, tan skin bulging as he pulled it tighter, his grey t-shirt was straining against the size of his arm, Dean was talking and you realised you weren't listening when he raised his eyebrow. 

"Sorry, what?" Pull yourself together 

Dean repeated himself looking at you and the car to make sure you understood. He was so unaffected, ofcourse he was, Dean would've been with plenty of women on the road since you last seen him, you're such an idiot. You just needed to avoid direct eye contact and get through the next few days. 

"Should be good as new" Dean said as he finished putting everything back together "Start her up" 

You did as he said and naturally there was no more weird noise. 

'Thanks, Dean " You smiled genuinely "saved me alot of time and taught me something new"

"It's all good, I needed to get out of the house, there's only so much Sam and Bobby talkin' ancient languages and lore I can take" He wiped his hands off with a rag, once again the movement made his arms bulge, all that thick muscle not from a gym, from hunting because he was strong, you knew first hand how firm he was. 

You glanced up and see Dean looking straight at you, you felt your cheeks heat up from embarrassment and swallowed quickly moving to shut the hood of the car, Dean was still watching you with an unreadable look on his face. 

Suddenly that familiar feeling of being too close came over you, you could feel the warmth of his skin and you weren't even touching.

"Should get back inside" You said quickly.

"Yeah' He answered, his voice suddenly deeper. You looked back at him and you did not like the change in demeanour at all.

You really wish you never opened this can of worms. 

"Yeah there's been alot going on, I've been good, Bobby and i have had a couple of hunts, he wants to lay low for the most part" You answered. 

Dean leaned onto the counter beside you, his posture was relaxed, but his brow was pinched. You turned to look at him, you nervously licked your lips, Dean's eyes shot down to the movement, copying it himself. You knew if there was any shot of forgiveness with Jo, you could never ever do what you did again, you hadn't meant to the first time.

"You? Alot more going on out there than here, I'm sure" You tried to keep it light while you distracted yourself with placing cheese cubes.


"Nothing new so far, just your regular end of the world stuff" he'd answered with a tired sigh, a pained look flashed across his eyes which was gone just as quickly. 

You smiled weakly with the corner of your mouth and opened a pack of crackers. You were sure it was much more complicated.

"So tell me" He began fake casually after a short silence, your body tensed at his tone.

"You going to be weird around me all the time now?" He continued. 

"I'm not being weird" You replied quickly. 

"You're being weird right now" Dean's grin was teasing, definitely beer spearheading this conversation. He was also right, You and Dean had an easy connection that had been strained since that night in the motel. 

"I'm fine Dean, really" You answered, probably a little too reassuringly. 

"You won't even look at me anymore" 

You sighed deeply and tilted your head to meet his gaze raising your eyebrow. You had never let any man make you feel this jittery, you weren't going to start now. He's just Dean, a man.

You turned back to finish what you were doing, Dean chuckled, you could feel his eyes on you, this had to stop now.

if Dean wanted to talk then you'd talk.

"What are you doing, Dean?" You turned to face him fully trying to keep your voice casual.

"What are you doing, (Y/N)?" He countered grinning, like this was a game.


You frowned confused, you were ignoring this thing exactly like you were supposed to. Dean chuckled looking down for a second shaking his head.

"You tell me you want to forget what happened and then you keep looking at me like you want to jump my bones" He stared at you, you were making a huge bold mental note not to be alone with Dean when he's been drinking all day because apparently his already huge balls got even bigger.

"I do not" You whispered, eyes wide, looking at the door making sure no one was there "I meant what I said" you insisted.

"Why?" He asked suddenly serious. 

"Why?" You repeated incredulously 

"You want to" He stated. You could tell Dean Winchester didn't get rejected very often, you could see why too. That cocky grin, that handsome face and playfulness that you knew would show you a good time. 

"Really, cause it sounds like you're trying to convince me" You raised an eyebrow keeping your tone just as playful. He laughed sliding closer to you.

“Dean, we had a fight, that got out of control, thats all" You continued. 

"Sweetheart, I have fights with people all the time and they don't end like that, unless they started like that" Your heart was thumping in your chest, it hadn't started like that though, it really did catch you off guard. You and Jo were on shaky ground as it was, but almost back to normal after months of trying to fix what happened. 

"Look Dean we work together, we're friends, Jo is my best friend, there's a whole apocalypse, it's just messy" You finished making your snack platter intent on leaving this kitchen. 

"Jo?" He questioned, in your panic you'd slipped up. 

"Is that what this is about?" He leaned in closer towards you.

"No" You said quickly. 

"(Y/N), Jo is like a little sister to me, nothing's going on with us, nothing has even been going on" His face was full on reassurance, but you felt none of it. Your heart broke for Jo, little sister, ouch. 

You crossed your arms with a sigh and turned to face Dean, your face hard you needed a final blow. 

"You know Dean, I really didn't take you for a guy who needed to be told no twice" Even as it left your mouth your stomach was turning in knots. 

Dean's face feel and all playfulness and flirting was gone. 

"(Y/N) I didn't-" He looked so upset with himself.

"It's fine, really" you interupted "Dean, I care about our relationship way too much just to be your South Dakota good time while you're in town" You tried to make light of the situation.

"You're not just a good time" Dean looked insulted.

"Yeah, I'm a pain in the ass too, I know" You smiled trying desperately to get this conversation over.


"Right" He ran a hand over his mouth clearing his throat and looked away. A heavy silence fell over the kitchen.

You felt awful, but you were honest, you didn't want to be another notch in Dean Winchesters bed post. 

"You two good?" Bobby’s gruff voice startled the both of you. 

"Yeah" You both said unconvincingly at the same time. 

"Here, I'll take that for you" Dean grabbed the platter and his beer and disappeared through the doorway. 

"Should I be worried about that?" Bobby asked from behind you as you were gathering the beer for the rest of you from the fridge. 

"No" You scoffed, guilt still churning in your stomach.


"Dean's a good man, you know I love him like a son" Bobby continued.

"God, Bobby i'm not trying anything on Dean" You pleaded.

"Dean isn't the kind of guy for you (Y/N)" Bobby took his beer from your hand. 

You were surprised, that wasn't what you were expecting. 

"A hunter isn't the kind of man you should be going after" he clarified "It'll be nothing, but heartbreak or death at the end of that road"

"It's ok, Bobby. Don't worry, we're just friends" You patted his shoulder.

There was very little chance of Dean ever making a move on you again, so you weren't worried either.



[scoobydoodean]

I don't mean to talk out of my ass, and am saying nothing about how alcoholism works in the real world, but when it comes to the fictional world of the show I really don't think they ever meant to imply Dean has a dependency issue when it comes to alcohol. I think what the show is actually doing is using short hand for either "Dean is in a bad mental state and self medicating" or, separately and not related to that, is using alcohol as a glamorized "cowboy who can put away his liquor" shorthand. For contrast, I'm watching House right now and (regardless of if it does a good job depicting addiction, which I feel absolutely unqualified to comment on) it does want the audience to understand that House is an addict.

I think the issue is there is a lot of room to bring your own personal experiences with alcohol to interpreting the show, and obviously if those have been bad it's easy to apply that to Dean, who does drink frequently in show. As do Sam, Cas, Bobby, Rufus, Ellen, etc. I don't know why people focus in on Dean specifically, though.

I think the funniest thing about this disk horse (which I consider to be over btw—using this as a springboard for closing thoughts) is that I never said at any point that Dean has never abused alcohol. I didn't even say there's no point in the show at which he can be described as an alcoholic (Dean describes himself as one in 10.12 "About A Boy"). I didn't even say I would never believe that Dean has ever driven drunk ever in his entire life, or that headcanoning that Dean has driven drunk before at some point is somehow some horrible evil thing.

All I did was respond to mail asking me if I remembered times in the actual show where Dean was shown drunk driving, because my anon heard a claim that it is shown to us "All of the time" in the actual show, and didn't remember that, and they were looking for someone with a more recent memory who could corroborate. So I said I don't remember that happening explicitly in the show either, and invited people to provide examples if they remembered an example.

I think if the show wanted to say Dean is a frequent drunk driver— specifically—the show would show me Dean being a drunk driver. It wasn't a problem for the show to quite overtly show me Sam driving drunk in 4.09—it wasn't something they shied away from showing. If (to your point—which you are absolutely right about) alcohol is used as a signal of our characters current mental states (Bobby in 4.01, Sam in 4.09, Cas in 5.17, Dean in 10.22, etc) then there's no reason the show would refuse to simply show me Dean being a frequent drunk driver. I'd be happy to explore it if I thought frequent drunk driving was a genuine facet of Dean's character. I just don't think it is, because the show doesn't show me that. And people can say all day long that "Dean drinks a lot" + "Dean has a car and is often in the drivers seat" = "Dean is a frequent drunk driver" until they're blue in the face. I am still holding out my hand, palm up, waiting for an actual example instead of whiney voices crying and whining insisting it simply HAS to be true because they think it should be.

I think you're right at the end of the day that the show isn't worried about Dean being an alcoholic as much as the show uses upticks in each character's drinking to indicate they're going through something—you're 100% right there. I also understand and respect that some people legitimately—with well-meaning intent—want to explore Dean's relationship to alcohol, because it's absolutely in theme imo and I think there's more attention ultimately put on it with Dean than any other character (though this is not true up to season 4 in my current rewatch). I just can't say I'm sitting here wringing my hands over Dean's relationship with alcohol in the actual canon of the actual show. I'm just not. The fact is, our characters have extremely limited options in terms of coping tools, and have trauma more extensive in breadth and length and diversity than anyone in real life has experienced ever, and are almost perpetually existing in a war zone. The fact that they self-medicate in various ways in order to cope isn't remotely surprising and I don't think there's anything shameful and evil about it either especially given their circumstances and utter lack of options. I just also... don't think Dean is a frequent drunk driver.

[supernaturalconvert]

Since I reminded you of your spn revival idea.... do you have any more of this Dean Jr meets his half brother or sister idea😈

Cause my brain's been running with it a lil and... it would be kinda cool if he meets his siter who FOR SOME REASON has powers like the special children. Cause maybe there was somewhere a zealous demon follower of yellow eyes that made sure the sex Sam had with Dr Cara Roberts (from sex and violence) ended in a pregnancy.

I would kinda looove for her to maybe fall to her powers more like Ava Wilson and for her and Dean Jr to have to deal with that, on top of whatever that zealous yellow eyes follower has planned.

Maybe they could even touch on the possibility of Azazel being a fallen angel and get heaven involved. But that would be HIGHLY optional.

You got any ideas as well🥹🙏

I have thought about something similar as well but my idea was more for an AU in the revival. Probably I am stealing from TW (not sure since I haven't watched it only heard references) here but maybe Dean jumps into another reality and comes face to face with DJ and they are obviously very wary of each other for a sec until Sam comes on the scene and calls out "Dean" and they both respond at the same time.

In this reality Sam has two kids DJ and a younger daughter with Jessica (things are not going that well in their marriage or they are divorced) and Sam is a very successful attorney. I would like for DJ to be a pre-teen and the daughter even younger. Sam's life is well put together except that he does have visions and similar other dormant powers that he has suspected for a long time. That's why he has sort of voluntarily strained his relationship with Jessica coz he wants her away in case anything happens to him.

Obviously Sam is not immediately trusting of Dean coz his relationship with his brother from this reality is really bad and they haven't been in touch for years and ended on really bad terms. However, Dean wants to stick around with his brother and niece & nephew for a few days to get to know them a little. As he does that, he realises that Sam is surrounded by all the demons from his reality from Azazel to Ruby to Meg to Brady.

Azazel could be the guy who gave Sam a chance early on and Sam holds in high regard almost telling Dean, that Azazel did for him what John never did. Similarly Brady is his best friend still who he trusts with his life for something to this effect. There could be other folks as well such as Sarah, Bobby etc

The plot can develop from there with him enlisting Bobby and maybe Rufus's help to figure out the demon nexus while Sam is struggling with his own demons and not telling Dean everything about what's going on with him. Also, maybe Sam suspects that maybe whatever is going on with him is also going with DJ but actually it's his younger daughter who maybe a psychic. He eventually shares his fears about his children with Dean but still doesn't tell him everything neither does Dean tell him his fears about the demon. That will make for good drama when they eventually do after getting closure again.

Eventually they talk about John and maybe the plot of the next season is John showing up after years being underground. John is vary for both Sam and his daughter but he is torn since firstly its Sam and secondly the daughter is named after Mary by Sam.

Thanks for the ask..... I guess I was thinking how the Winchester dynamic could play out in the later seasons.

[thebiggestmenace]

I am confused?

here's why lmao

do indeed remember this season

the baby's name is Amara?? or is the guy just that out of it?

omg Sam is infected!!!! big shocker!!!! (menace knew this)

and the baby has the Mark of Cain???

hi, Billie!!!!

first mention of the Empty... I have a feeling this comes back around in s15

the holy oil worked???

Dean wrapping Cas in the blanket :(((

is this episode just from Baby's perspective? I love episodes with weird perspectives!!

"say it with me - a ✨️werepire✨️"

Finn Wolfhard?!

why do they keep flashing back to Sam's time in Hell??

I forgot Amara was God's sister

I also completely forgot about Sully wtf

Sam, please do not say yes. please

where did she send Dean?? oh, just to safety nvm

you had to have known this was a terrible idea, Sam

you're ready to watch the people you love die? really?

of course they're all in there now

so, if Lucifer is possessing Cas, then where is Cas? or are there just two angels in him?

Eileen!! I know the actress and I've seen people post about her, but I don't remember her?

did Mildred just insinuate that Dean has a crush on Cas?? cause I feel like she did... nvm I forgot about Amara smh

dude, the boys don't even sound the same in earlier seasons :o I hadn't noticed until now

Lucifer is not caged, actually

you have Crowley in a dog cage?? and are treating like a literal dog??

also if Cas isn't Lucifer's perfect vessel, why isn't it showing? like it showed for Nick?

Dean being absolutely devastated that Cas said yes to Lucifer vs Sam just rolling with that punch

they are such children 🤭

Bobby and Rufus were definitely a thing btw

I've said if before and I'll say it again, I miss Bobby

and Sam's been shot, how fun

but he's not actually dead?

a married hunter couple!!!

omg is this the episode we find out Chuck is God??? *

* it is!!! I always thought this happened in an earlier season

and Chuck has the samulet?? I could have sworn Sam had it?

KNEW HE HAD IT (did Chuck throw that in his pocket? maybe. but I will die on this hill. Sam kept it)

KEVIN??? oh nvm he's gone now

Amara is so,,,,,,, unsettling

omg family therapy with God and Lucifer!

of course Sam's gonna take the Mark without talking to Dean 🙄

is this actually gonna work?

did she just kill Lucifer and God??

guess not, okie

Cas is back!!!

all the goodbyes are normal and then he gets to Cas and is almost in tears???

so, it's fine? everything's normal now?

????? Sam just got shot at again???

gonna be honest, I thought Toni was Mary

another season down, hooray!!! this one was so??? I want to say anticlimactic, which was nice considering the other season finales! it's just odd? also wtf happened with Sam? did he get shot? cause it didn't sound it, so what happened? is there just a forcefield around the man? I guess we shall find out

s1, s2, s3, s4, s5, s6, s7, s8, s9, s10, s11, s12, s13, s14, s15

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 11 Part 1

So the consequence of last season's tomfoolery is the unleashing of the darkness, as per Death's explanation before he got sliced by Dean (I'm still not over how easy it was to take down such an ancient OP character)

And the darkness is a chick?! Whaaaaaaaaaaa-

Billie starts out in season 11 - okay - I know she's an enemy but I'm a fan of hers. She's sooo beautiful!!!! I love her look!!!! She ain’t takin’ no shit from the Winchesters either. That is a woman I can get behind - sowwwwwwwwwwwwy lol.

Why does Cas have to get fucked up yet again?!?!?!?! Why did Rowena turn him in an attack dog, damn!

The darkness unleashed some sort of virus ala The Crazies - 'member that movie (both original and remake)

The baby we find at the beginning of the season becomes the vessel for the darkness - she grew up so fast lol. Poor baby tho and her family 🥺

Rowena really tried starting a new coven 🤣 the name was soooo corny Mega Coven, really?! 🤣

I'm glad the sick/crazed Cas stuff is over but its only a matter of time before something else goes wrong with him. It's like the only reason he's kept around cuz lord knows the showrunners don't care about Destiel 🙃

Meanwhile the darkness is out and about as a little girl who's eating a healthy dose of humans, then demons, then humans again, totally unimpressed by Crowley and his shit 🤣

We have to see Metatron again ugh!!! Can someone kill him already?!?!?!?!

He really thought Cas was afraid. Child please. He's angry and he has so many reasons to be, between getting cockblocked by Sam and others, cockteased by Dean, having to compete with Crowley and women for Dean's attention (though where are the women, or is it all about AmaraxDean this season?), getting hated on by Heaven, getting cursed by Rowena and fucked over by Metatron personally and more than once, of course duh!

Sam! Poor baby thought God was speaking to him but it was the devil all along. He wants out of the cage and needs Sam to do it cuz another consequence of the darkness fiasco is the cage weakened some. Shame we didn't get to see Michael or Adam 🙃 (it was a great opportunity to bring back the apocalypse stuff from season 5, but oh well, that's what fanfiction's for!)

So instead of Sam who stands up to this bully, Castiel ends up busting him out (Cas baby no!)

Dean thinks Cas is fine, Dean when is Cas ever fine?! He hasn't been fine since he started helping you stupid!!!!!!! I guess Dean says that cuz he needs Cas to be fine, but my God the powers of Dean's denial are so strong!!!!!

Why Cas, why would you give yourself over to the devil 😭 and he was so passive. He only intervened when Lucifer was choking the shit outta Sam and decided oh wait Sam can’t die Dean would hate me forever I must intercede smh.

I have to say the line “grim face of angelic constipation” made me chuckle XD

That episode was pointless though since the supposed hand of God was useless and those people met their fate anyway - shoutout to that crew and the Woman of Letter Delfine - they were heroes. A somber end having Dean sat on his lonesome at the dock.

Sam watchu mean Cas won’t come back willingly - and abandon his sweet Dean. Never! He’s only doing it for Dean in the first place!!! Cuz the only alternative was for the devil go into Sam and there was no way they were gonna let that happen - though it would have made for an interesting season!

Another guy Dean goes Gaga over tho I’m not sure if its him being a fan or something else 😉 lololol

So we meet Eileen this season - she was awesome! She suffered no fools and took no prisoners lol. Almost killed Sam fucking Winchester. Talk about a meet-cute gone brutal 😂

It was nice to see Bobby and Rufus again - especially at Rufus’ savage top form, busting Bobby and everyone else’s balls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 when he demanded Bobby tell the truth instead of whatever story he was gonna say to seem cool 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When he sees that family together at the end 😭 what a softie.

Dean got to see Bobby again…awwwww but it turns out this episode (at least the parts that Bobby and Rufus were in) was during season 4 - and Dean was a prissy bitch! So rude, entitled and ungrateful. Bobby shouldn’t have had to put up with that!

Sam got shot but I wasn’t worried! We got 4 more seasons, he ain't going anywhere. But Dean was losing his mind again…Jesus honey there’s more to life than your baby bro! I mean I understand - he raised this boy, invested so much but this shit ain't healthy. He committed suicide to talk to a reaper who’s told him in no uncertain terms that if the Winchesters die she’s gonna keep them that way. Did he really think she’d be willing to cut him a deal? Hell nah. He’s lucky that doctor was good at his job! And that Sam swooped in and saved the day, survivor that he is!

That poor woman at the end though, so devoid of hope, just like Dean will be in a few seasons (yeah I know about that shit. I’ll address it when I finally watch those episodes).

Speaking of Dean losing hope - he works with Crowley & Rowena to try to save Cas. Why does Sam keep saying Cas ain’t coming back - you don’t know - we’re not in season 15 - lemme stop

The way Dean kept calling out to Cas - poor bby. Of course the devil mocked him, what a dick!

Crowley tried to help too, got beat up by the devil (again) for his trouble. Cas c’mon stand up to the son of a bitch!

Amara came busting in like the baddest of bitches - didn’t break a sweat when the devil attacked her.

Cesar & Jesse - ugh I loved them!!!!! We need more Latinos in this show!!! They won’t be back since they apparently retired but good for them! They got the fuck out!

Lol when Dean assumed they were brothers - they look nothing alike Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When Dean asked what it was like - 2 tough, swole men together like that - why you curious Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They were really trying to recruit them - I was like oh heeeeell noooooo don’t wrap them up in your shit they’re 2 innocent sexy bears - you leave them alone!!!!! We don’t need to befriend more people to have them die for the Winchesters - enough is enough! I’m still not over Kevin. That poor bby.

Part 2 incoming!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 129

...And Then There Were None/The Time of Angels

"...And Then There Were None"

Plot Description: In search of Mother of All's latest monster, Sam, Dean, and Bobby run into Samuel and Gwen Campbell and fight about how to handle the case.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Honestly, I'm conflicted. Partly because I have no idea if that guy survived or if he got turned into a monster or what...

Guess he lived.

AWWWW RUFUS IS HERE TOO!!!!

Oh damn. I guess this IS the first time Bobby and Samuel are meeting.

Uh, DEAN? WHY DID YOU SHOOT GWEN? I know there's no real love lost between you and the Campbells, but...oh, it's whatever happened to the guys from the cannery, maybe

Good. Everyone hates Samuel, except maybe Rufus, but that's more of a Rufus doesn't give a shit about the Campbells outside of what info they have about what's going on

No, what the actual fuck. Because Samuel was DEAD. They were cutting open his HEAD. And all of a sudden he's alive again?! Because the creature that crawled in his skull activates with electricity?? Wtf is this episode even?

So now they're taking turn electrocuting themselves to prove the creature is not in them...sure.

NOOOOOOO, RUFUSSSSSS!!!!! RIP, you were a real one

Please don't tell me they lost Bobby, too....the cut to the cemetery was too obvious

"Been On My Mind...": Nope. 6...I'm pretty sure.

"The Time of Angels"

Plot Description: The Doctor tracks the last of the Weeping Angels through the terrifying Maze of the Dead.

It's the first half of a two parter, so my thoughts are probably going to be sparse. I forgot River was back this episode!!

Amy's outfits are so good.

The Doctor is the kind of guy who doesn't get something fixed in his car because it gives it character

River's a great TARDIS pilot. the Doctor's just salty

AMYYYYYY teasing the Doctor about the relationship he and River will eventually have.

My disdain for Moffat changing the rules of the Angels won't go away. The whole "that which holds the image of an angel becomes an angel" thing is terrible. And it definitely shouldn't have affected Amy. They were terrifying enough as they were

Oh. Oh no, Amy. It's starting.

Are we following these guys because they're Angel fodder? Because we really don't know enough about them for me to care about them this late at night. Sorry.

This set would be so cool to go through if I weren't also terrified of it

(I can't remember. Is the Angel calling Bob? Does Bob become an angel?)

Ah, damn...they fucking killed Bob and stole his vocal cords so they could talk to the Doctor. What the fuck.

Yeah, maybe we didn't know a whole lot about the Angels in Blink, but they've been given TOO many gimmicks.

You know...I like the Doctor and Amy like this. They're almost sibling like. He just bit her hand to make her finally believe it wasn't made of stone, and then she was complaining about his spit on it. I love this for them. I wish their relationship could have just stayed like this and not have the weird not-love-triangle but jealousy angle with Rory.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Thoughts on Supernatural, Season 11

This post was inspired by a post I saw from @seasononesam , found here

I actually consider this season to be one of my favorites of the late seasons but, like so often happens with this weirdo show, it’s not because of the season plot. Rather, I love how hard this season goes on the Sam and Dean of it all, especially after the last 2-3 years of angst. And I like a lot of the MOTW episodes.

Please feel free to comment reblog with your takes on these episodes (if you actually see this post somehow), or on other ones you like or dislike.

Please find my episode breakdown under the cut (I don’t want to clutter up anyone’s timeline with a long post).

Episodes I Pretty Much Love:

Baby

- Give me all the brother talks, "Night Moves", and quiet bonding

- Sam re-loses his virginity, and Dean is weirdly proud of his brother for hooking up. As usual.

- The Sam and Not-John vision is interesting and surprised me.

- I’ve heard the story way too many times, but Dean doing the reverse 180 is pretty hot.

- Interesting concept

Just my imagination

- At first I didn’t like this one because it felt too "kiddy."

- I love Sully, I love Sully and Sam, and I love Jared's acting in his talk with Sully near the end, and I didn’t expect it in this silly episode.

- The silliness has grown on me, and Dean's reactions to the Zana (don’t know how to spell it and don’t want to look it up) is pretty amusing.

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

- I love all the Sam stuff

- Crowley and Rowena and their dysfunction is mostly amusing in this one.

- Sam's devastation when he finds out it wasn’t God who was speaking to him is heartbreaking.

- But, shut up Amara and Angels!

The Devil in the Details

- Sam and Lucifer walking down Sam's memory lane is interesting. Colin Ford!

- Jared's portrayal of a terrified but brave Sam is *chef's kiss*

- Dean's indignant "Have you met me?" is very on point and makes me smile every time.

- Sam trusting in Dean to save him is very little brother energy, and protective Dean is always good.

- But, Cass, you’re an idiot, and you crapped on Sam's willingness to die rather than let the devil out of the cage

Safe House

- Bobby and Rufus in the past cut together with Sam and Dean now is really enjoyable for me. I like the transitions.

- Dean and Bobby seeing each other in the nest is cool and sad since Bobby is long dead in the current timeline.

- Bobby seeing Sam and Dean in the nest (parts of your soul or people you love) since he sees them as his boys is nice.

- Dean seeing only Sam in the nest is so accurate for him. We know Sam is a piece of his soul, but this could also be seen as seeing his son (like Bobby), or like seeing his partner (like the woman who saw her husband). It’s a rich tapestry :)

- Sorry but I have to … who did he not see …? For the hellers in the back …

Red Meat

- Everything!

- Hurt Sam. BAMF Sam. Protective Dean. Romeo Dean.

- Sam is the man (or person) Dean loves. This episode could be in Season 2, and I mean that in a good way. Though I have to admit the werewolf guy is a bit over the top at the for for me.

Don’t Call Me Shurley

- While I don’t love what happens with Chuck down the road, I did find this episode moving. Chuck at the end healing and helping people actually choked me up on the first watch.

- This is the only time Metatron doesn’t completely suck, so far

- Sam and Dean in the fog always gets me, especially how Dean has not learned his lesson of letting Sam go, and tries to breath in the fog to join him in getting infected.

- The Samulet - it being in Sam's pocket tells me that Sam has carried it with him since "Dark Side of the Moon" - fight me!

Honorable Mentions:

Form and Void

- Pro: BAMF and Smart Sam, again

- Con: shut up Baby Amara!

Thin Lizzie

- Pro: gives me slightly older-school SPN vibes; just working a case

- Cons: shut up Tween Amara with your weird crush on Dean!

Into the Mystic

- Pros: The talk between the brothers near the end of the episode is nice, where Sam apologizes for not continuing to look for him, and Dean is gracious about it. I also like how the episode is bookended with Sam not able to sleep at the beginning and Dean not able to sleep at the end. Also, I kinda like the old lady, I generally like Eileen (just not in a ship with Sam), and this is one of the few times I don’t mind Misha as Cassifer

- Cons: the banshee looks weird, and does a little too anticlimactically for me (though I gues that kinda the point).

Don’t You Forget About Me

- Pro: I generally like Alex, and I don’t mind Claire in this one, and I’m actually interested in the Jody and co. dynamics which isn’t always the case. The sex talk at the table is funny.

- Con: Nothing really stand out as a con in this one for me, other than I never exactly need a Claire episode.

Beyond the Mat

- Pro: Sam and Dean having fun together and watching the wrestling, and Dean making an ass of himself getting into the ring are fun.

- Cons: I don’t really like the actual case and find it a tad boring.

Alpha and Omega

- Pro: Sam and Dean hug with "no chick flick" callback, and Dean saves the day because of how much he and Sam love each other. It saves the world this time.

- Cons: BMOL plot crap watering down the episode, Chuck and Amara is kind of a weak ending since the drama is boiled down to a silly sibling issue and could have been avoided easily.

The rest of the episodes, unless I’m forgetting one, are either just "meh" to me, or I actively dislike them. Especially any other episodes with a big Amara focus generally are not for me.

The Bad Seed

- Shut. Up. Little Amara! I find her deeply irritating.

Plush

- pretty much only thing I find amusing and not bad-weird in this episode is Sam and Dean joking about the jail bunny, but refusing to laugh at each other’s jokes.

Love Hurts

- in past episodes I feel like this would have been done better. It feels like a lake echo of episodes we’ve had before, and I just don’t enjoy it.

- Small pro: Dean finally tells Sam the truth about his weird Amara connection, and Sam is super chill about it even though he’s worried. Honesty, friends.

Hell's Angel

- Shut up Cassifer!

Alpha and Omega

- yeah I mentioned this before, but I need to double down on the BMOL eating up screen time and the easy Chuck and Amara solution.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e10 death's door (w. sera gamble)

"dick is coming." *cut to "the rise of dick" graphic* i literally facepalmed. "he's making the doctor eat himself" you know. these leviathans, the special effects are so bad. this is supposed to be a sad bobby episode, quit snarkin.

i like bobby but i don't really have any emotional attachment to him either, i just can't seem to connect with jim beaver. and this feels like an honoring the special character we're killing off type episode. we'll see if they manage to get any tears out from me (if they do it'll be almost definitely via the boys' feelings)

BOBBY No, listen to me, Rufus. I’m gonna die! RUFUS Oh, now that’s a realistic view of the mortality rate on a ghost hunt. RUFUS is holding an EMF reader, which lights up and makes noises. RUFUS Whoa, whoa, Nellie, red line. All right, baby boy, here we go.

(see now there's an actor i can connect with! i'm glad we have this excuse to bring rufus back)

obligatory comment that this reaper is young and cute. winchester and co get the fresh ones, apparently

RUFUS I'll be a prima ballerina. Wait, wait, Bobby. Are you trying to tell me I'm just one of your better memories?

♥️

BOBBY You're coming with me, Rufus. RUFUS What? BOBBY I need my partner on this. Please.

--

BOBBY So, you're telling me that the way out was through your worst memory? RUFUS It's an important door, Bobby.

so er uh WAIT

the magicians s4e5 escape from the happy place

this is like the magicians episode s4e5 (periodic reminder sera was showrunner there too) escape from the happy place! eliot has to go through his worst memories to find the door to talk to quentin while he's possessed by the monster! lol

CHARLTON There's a door somewhere. Hidden deep in a forgotten remembrance.

ELIOT Huh. So just my most repressed and traumatic memory.

that's just. so funny. because that's the episode that really attracted a bunch of people to the fandom because it's where queliot became like.. canon with a possible future, as opposed to something that happened in the past (in a time loop). oh and hey i made some dumb parallels/comparatives thing with the smith/wesson spn episode and that episode here and i painted the queliot kiss from that ep to

all right. back to the spn. not telling your wife you don't want kids when you knew she did? not cool, bobby.

speaking of not cool. that startled me badly and poked that DV trigger. wanna show manly idiot grief exploding in aggression, do it not right next to a person's head. have him turn around and hit something. ugh.

DEAN He's not gonna die. SAM He might. DEAN Sam. SAM Dean, listen – we need to brace ourselves. DEAN Why? SAM Because it's real. DEAN What do you want to do? You want to hug and – and say we made it through it when Dad died? We've been through enough.

dean handling this as well as i expected. gotta lean on each other, man. don't leave sam alone with his satan-vision.

BOBBY (on phone) No, we didn't shoot rifles, as a matter of fact. We threw a ball around. He's a kid, John. They both are. They're entitled. Yeah, I know I ain't their dad.

you know i'm always here for john winchester shade.

BOBBY’S FATHER Good. You break everything you touch. BOBBY Uh-huh. Well, as fate would have it, I adopted two boys, and they grew up great. They grew up heroes. So you can go to hell!

nice to hear bobby's proud of them. his best memory being movie night with the boys bickering did get to me.

tw cancer / parental death under the cut

that fight with dean being in denial about bobby possibly dying and leaving sam alone in the hospital.. just got the mental calculation of how realistic is this type of clash, but then okay my dad died from cancer when i was 16, he was at home with hospice care. but my mom.. she died when i was 32. in the hospital, from cancer.

me and my brother were out there, she lived in az and i was in minnesota at the time, my brother in new england. she checked into the hospital for some biopsies and then rapidly declined and died 2 weeks later. we didn't even know she had cancer before then. so we were with her the last week. obviously real life is different from a show.

but i did have a moment where i had to leave. my brother was trying to help my mom have some ice chips but she was really so out of it, she couldn't deal with a solid in her mouth and she started choking. brought up one of the worst memories of when my dad was sick. mom woke me up, frantic, pulled me downstairs because my dad couldn't breathe and he was trying to sign something to her in ASL in the alphabet but she didn't know the letters. he was saying he couldn't breathe.

anyway. this show manages to jab me in the dead parents feelings routinely.

[holylulusworld]

My alpha at the end of the street (2)

Summary: New home, new fate.

Pairing: Alpha!(Mobster)John Winchester x Omega!Reader; former Alpha!Marcus x Omega!Reader

Character: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

Warnings: angst, A/B/O dynamics, scenting, protective John, true mates, older alpha younger omega, comforting, fluff, cuddling & snuggling

A/N: Part 2/3

<< Part 1

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“That one over there,” grasping for John’s hand you drag your alpha toward the garden goblins. “It’s the one he destroyed, look. I finally found her again.”

“Aw, the girl who liked the bad guy, the biker goblin,” nodding eagerly you bring the goblin into your arms, smiling as you found three of the garden goblins Marcus destroyed a few months ago.

“Now they can be together again,” you sniff, smiling when John places the goblin into your shopping cart. “My biker goblin will be so happy, John.”

“He will,” smiling John pecks your cheek before he has a look at the other garden goblins. “What about the dude with the pants down?” John picks the goblin up, laughing as you look at the figurine’s naked butt. “He’s on discount. Eight bucks, doll.”

“He’s naughty but I could place him next to the angry old lady. I bet she’ll like to have a look at his butt,” giggling you watch John put the naughty figurine into your shopping cart.

“Our garden will look great with all the goblins,” wondering if John will like all your decoration you look at the shopping cart. “We only need to find the one with the barrow.”

“JOHN! Look, there he is,” squealing you run toward the other side of the shop. John laughs at your eagerness but his features change when you are not looking where you are going and slip on the floor.

“Ouch,” ending up on your knees you cry out in pain, whimpering silently to not anger the alpha. You are used to hide your pain and emotions as Marcus always punished you if you didn’t put a fake smile on.

“Omega, doll…” John is by your side before you can shed the first tear. “Are you hurt, Y/N?” he carefully picks you up to soothe the pain. “I’m gonna check on you, baby doll, okay. Don’t cry. I will take care of you.”

“’m fine, John. It’s nothing, really,” you sniff, looking at your bleeding knees. “I want to buy the garden goblins first, please. Someone will snatch them if we don’t buy them.” you tear up.

“Shhh … everything is going to be alright. I will tell the clerk over there to reserve the garden goblins for me. I’ll bring you to my car and go back to get the goblins, okay baby doll.”

“O-okay,” sniffing you hide your face in John’s shoulder. “Sorry, but I like them so much. I want the garden to be colorful and friendly, is all.”

“I like them too, Y/N,” mumbling the words against your hair John inhales your scent deeply. “We will get them all, promised. I want you to be happy at my house. You gave up your new home to be with me, it’s the least I can do.”

“I love our home. It’s just that I’m not used to someone taking care of me. My parents left for Europe years ago without a care, and Marcus he’s – ya know.”

“A bastard,” John grits out, hiding Bobby, Rufus, and Claire took care of your former alpha without John’s permission. “He’ll never hurt you again, no one will as long as I live.”

“See, I got them all,” John shows you the garden goblins in the shopping cart. “And I found one more, the one with the sunflower.” he went back into the store to get everything you wanted after he checked on your wounds.

“There is another biker goblin too,” looking at the figurine you smirk. “You like them, don’t you?” laughing John nods at you.

“Look at that tough guy, Y/N,” getting the goblin out of the cart John laughs as you take it out of his hands. “Bet that guy and the one in our backyard will be a perfect team and protect our little goblins.”

“They will,” nodding you look up at John. “Thank you for everything, John. I know it’s a bit crazy to like the garden goblins so much but after I ran from Marcus, the first thing I saw at a secondhand store was a garden goblin. He was damaged and no one wanted the poor guy, but I liked it.”

“Is it the one you are hiding in your wardrobe?” you nod, embarrassed John found out about your secret. “It’s okay, doll. Everyone needs something to feel better. To me, it’s you and your presence.”

“You make me happy too, John. Incredibly happy and-“ taking his hand in yours you smile, “I feel safe with you, alpha but do you really want me around? We barely know each other, and I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You could never be a burden, Y/N. I will not tell you again that I want you around, omega, okay. You make me happy too, Y/N,” pecking your hair John smiles against you. “Now let’s bring our friends home and we can have lunch. I’ll cook for you. ”

“Aw, your sons look cute,” looking at another picture in John’s photo album you smile. “Sam, he’s got shaggy hair.”

“You know, they are all grown now and far from being cute,” chuckling John watches you look at the pictures again. “Do you-“ clearing his throat John tries to find the right words. “Omega, do you want to have pups? I mean, do you want to have my pups.”

“Pups,” purring you close the photo album to scoot closer to John. “Do you want some? I could have two or three…”

“Whoa, three?” snickering John watches you crawl onto his lap to hide your face in his neck. “We can have as much as you want to, doll.”

“Marcus, he never wanted to talk about babies. When I mentioned having a pup he got mad and threw things around the room before he-“ choking the last words out you fist John’s shirt.

“I should’ve ripped him apart limb by limb. That monster will never touch my girl again. You’re my omega now, Y/N. I’ll protect you and the goblins,” John can feel the tension in your body, so he moves his hand over your back, gently rubs it to calm you. “Everything is alright. You’re safe with me.”

“I know,” sniffing you peck John’s neck. “I feel safe with you, alpha. I know you would never hurt me.”

“I finally found my omega, my true mate. How could I ever hurt you?” nuzzling you John breathes you in. “You’re perfect, Y/N. All I ever wanted and more. Now, do you want more goblins?”

“I think we got enough – for now,” humming John watches you get comfortable on his lap. “Maybe if we find a cute one.”

“Anything for you, doll. Just say the word. This old alpha is all yours…”

“That bastard got what he deserved, John,” Claire shrugs at John’s pissed expression. “What? He almost kidnapped your omega. He hurt and threatened her. Not to forget to mention that monster destroyed her garden goblins.”

“I didn’t give you permission to kill him! What if his father and his men come here to find out who killed his son? We can’t draw too much attention. This sleepy little town is a refugee for us,” John growls. “Marcus Grant senior is not a fool.”

“According to the police report that bastard died in a car accident. His father will never know we taught his son a lesson or two before he bit the dust,” Rufus chuckles. “Believe me, John, we still know how to cover our tracks.”

“I don’t doubt you can cover your tracks, but this doesn’t mean Grant senior will accept his son is dead without digging deeper. What if he comes here to threaten my girl? I swore to never kill anyone again.”

“If that idjit dares to come here, he’ll regret it, John. Rufus, Claire, and I won’t let him ruin our sleepy little town. We are ready to defend our home,” Bobby mutters, pointing at Rufus. “Rufus got a nice shotgun and we don’t want to talk about my collection of guns.”

“I still can cut a bastard open. John Winchester, I will not let anything happen to your omega,” Claire plays with her favorite knife, chuckling as John makes a face. “Don’t worry, we’ve got this. Take care of your omega. She’s all you should worry about right now.”

“Perfect Y/N,” John smiles when you place the last garden goblin next to a cherry tree in John’s backyard. “I never thought my garden could look that nice. You did a great job, doll.”

“You think so,” you grasp John’s hand to squeeze it tightly. “Look, I cleaned your grill and I went to the grocery store and bought meat for you.”

“You’re spoiling me, doll,” smirking John watches you smile happily. “So, we can have a barbecue, huh? Maybe we can invite Bobby, Rufus, and Claire.”

“Sounds great. We could invite your sons too,” gasping you clasp one hand over your mouth, whimpering as you believe John doesn’t want you to meet his sons yet. “Sorry, I know it’s too soon to meet your sons. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Baby doll, you can ask me anything and,” pecking your temple John smiles, “I called Sam and Dean. They will come around this weekend to meet my omega, my true mate. My sons are both excited to meet you, Y/N.”

“They are?” nodding you look up at John. “I could make dinner for us and pie. Uh-do you like pie? I could look for my granny’s recipe.”

“Dean will love you forever if you bake a pie for him.”

“I only want you to fall in love with me, John,” grinning cheekily John looks down at you. “If only I could find a way to seduce you, alpha.”

“You have my heart, Y/N,” mumbling the words John watches you place your hands onto his shoulders; laughing when you crane your neck to peck his lips. “Always, sweet omega. I don’t want you to do anything to win me over. This is unnecessary.”

“Maybe I want to seduce you,” cocking your head you glance at John’s lips. “I wasn’t always scared and meek. I used to be confident and funny.”

“I would never doubt you’re funny, doll. If you want to seduce me, kiss me again and I’m all yours,” your wrap your arms around his neck, humming happily when he meets you halfway to press his lips to your mouth.

“Nothing, Dad,” Sam whispers, watching you introduce his elder brother to your garden goblins. “We double-checked the police report and had a look at the car-wreck. Bobby did a great job. Grant senior won’t find out his son didn’t die in the accident.”

“Keep taps on him,” John laughs when you show Dean the biker goblin. “I need to be sure Y/N is safe, just like this place. One day I want my sons to take over this town.”

“She’s nice, dad,” humming John watches Dean interact with you. “We are glad you finally found someone. Dean was worried you’ll spend your life alone while jerking off to porn.”

“Sammy,” Dean tuts. “That was a secret. Can you not blur out anything I say?” deadpanning Dean walks toward John and his brother. “Now I want that food Y/N was talking about. She made pie too!”

“Y/N, welcome to the family, and be sure, you’ll not get rid of Dean as you baked him pie. He’s your best friend from now on,” Sam chuckles.

“I love me some pie, sweetheart. Dad, well done. You got yourself a nice, pretty, and smart omega. And she can bake, that makes her the ultimate mate,” grinning Dean pokes his father’s chest. “Bet you can’t wait to have pups with her.”

“Son-“ John grumbles, whispering the next words. “We didn’t so far. I want to take it slow and not scare my omega.”

“Your sons are great. Sammy is so smart, nice and freaking tall. Dean, he’s funny, loves pie, and hugged me repeatedly. He told me about his car and promised to get me a garden goblin with an Impala.”

“They like you too, doll,” your heart swells when John tells you his sons never liked one of his girlfriends before. “Dean asked when we are going to have pups. Sam wanted to know if we plan a spring wedding, and their wives want to come around as soon as possible.”

“Aw, I can’t wait,” crawling under the covers you babble about everything happening tonight while John watches you get comfortable on his bed. “Can we see the kids too? I bet they are as cute as your sons.”

“Uh-omega? Not that I want to complain but don’t you want to sleep in your room? I thought you need space and-“ John purrs when you pat the spot next to you. “Y/N?”

“I want to sleep in your room from now on. I’m not ready for anything else but I wanna sleep in your arms tonight,” swallowing thickly John lies next to you, waiting for you to make the next step. “When my heat is due, I wanna be yours.”

“Be mine,” humming John lets you lie on his chest, sleepily resting your head on his heart. “I like the sound of that.”

>> Part 3

Alpha at the end... tags

@negans-attagirl​; @fanatic434​

-----------------------------------------------------

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx​

@screechingartisancashbailiff​

@fallen-wolf22​

@sister-winchesters99​

@mogaruke​

@the-is13​

@helloitsmeamie203​

@sandlee44​

@strayrosesbloom​

@notyourtypicalrose​

@thewinchesterco​

@marvelfansworld​

@hobby27​

@gh0stgurl​

@flamencodiva​

@jay-and-dean​

@valsworldofcreativity​

@h-o-l-l-i​

@dayasvalkyrie​

@wittysunflower​

@supernaturalenchanted​

@shikshinkwon​

@yolobloggers​

@hhiggs​

@laxe-chester67​

@ilovefanfic86​

@linki-locks11​

@eggingamazinglove​

@trumpettay​

@fandom-imagines1​

@waywardbaby​

@straycuties9​

@drakelover78​

@stuckys-whore​

@zxph-yr​

@i-love-superhero​

@ten-tenya-iida​

@deepmuffinspymaker​

@katsav17​

@heyitscam99​

@fandom-princess-forevermore​

@neii3n​

@exo-nova​

@echoesofpassion-blog-blog​

@shatteredabby​

@anaelsbrunette​

@sea040561​

@lemondropirwin​

@lonewolf471​

@wronglanemendes​

@juniorhuntersam​

@helpmeluci​

@goodgodimaweirdperson​

@shadowkat-83​

@alltimesamantha​

@officialmarvelwhore​

@miraclesoflove​

@maniacproffesor​

@hollymac79​

@kayla-2000-art-admirer​

@gracefultrenchcoat494​

@babygirls-fav​

@spnwoman​

@amiquette​

@tornadochaserchick33​

@geekofmanyforms​

@jessica-marsh09​

@spnficgirl​

@shut-themoonscone​

@thequeenreaders​

@countrygal17a​

@atomicfandombomb​

@kteelou​

@soryuwifeyxx​

@defenderrosetyler​

@shortwinchester​

@maybesomedaygayyyy​

@sabascio​

@that-place-called-middle-earth​

@bunnybaby89​

@pandabiiissh​

@maddiedott​

@lilulo-12​

@05supernatural20​

@mblaqgi​

@justsomedreaming​

@cassiopeia-barrow​

@its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​

@mscarter213​

@jo-like-josette​

@mep6811​

@prettydeaneyes​

@rvgrsbrns​

@deanwanddamons​

@tearsforhan​

@waywardbabie​

@certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​

@belovedcherry​

@amandamdiehl​

@sycochick​

@abeautifuldiaster124​

@matsumama​

@rynabarnesrogers-reading​

@homeorbust​

@emoryhemsworth​

@lunaticgurly​

@spnbaby-67​

@wonderlandfandomkingdom​

@heartislubbingdubbing​

@kitkatd7​

@doctor-hp-mcu​

@lovefromthewinchesters​

@coffeebooksandfandom​

@moosekateer13​

@miss-nerd95​

@caffeinefueledfangirl​

@vicmc624​

@mariaenchanted​

@bxnnywriting​

@lady-pswrld​

@thinkaboutmara​

@coldmuffinbanditshoe​

@suckmyapplejacks​

@princesssterek​

@lexy586​

@notbrooklynsblog​

[onlyonekenobi]

I love your jupernatural head canons!! Please share some more??

HELL YEAH ANON THANK YOU FOR ASKING

In honor of tomorrow being Sam and Eileen’s wedding, let’s talk about their ketubah: they do have one, but instead of having fancy artwork around the text, Jack finger painted it. and then everyone signs it (around the outside like that) yearbook style. also, they definitely wrote their own original text, and there are no less than three very sneaky hunter puns in it

.

you’ve heard of Dean speaking in idioms and references that no one understands, now get ready for this Exact Same Thing, but in ~yiddish~! Dean talks in full on bubbe-speak. no one has any god damn clue what he’s prattling on about, ever <3

amendment to the above, sam definitely does know what “quit kvetching” means

.

Sam tries to make vegan challah once and dean threatens to disown him

.

dean making the biggest, most ridiculously oversized hillel sandwich you’ve ever seen in your life, stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, and grinning broadly. jack thinks this is very funny. cas does not (but yes he does)

.

Dean leading the seder and Cas repeatedly interjecting to tell them all what actually happened, because obviously he was there

.

yes sam is a jew who practices pagan magic, WHAT OF IT but also he does study kabbalah, purely for the lore of it all

.

okay I have already perceived in my heart that jack (this is also a baby jack truthing post in case you couldn’t tell, because hi, it’s me) calls dean and cas “dad” and “papa” respectively, but like sam is also his dad right, so i think there’s potential here for jack to call him “aba”? I’m on the fence about this one, mostly because I don’t know what it means for eileen (would he then call her ima? or just, like, dodah or tante? what is she Cool With what is the Vibe of this Situation) but! i think it’s cute! and also i feel like most non jews don’t know what aba means (or maybe they do, but like. definitely in kansas i feel like probably not) so it wouldn’t cause mass confusion when they’re around other people, which is a plus

.

sam accidentally drops a spell book on the floor and jack’s eyes get super wide and he runs over like “KISS IT ABA YOU GOTTA KISS IT” and sam is like you know what fair enough, *kiss*

at some later point sam explains this incident to rowena and she is Extremely Endeared. she thanks baby jack for taking such good care of her books

.

afikomen hunt in the BUNKER, are you KIDDING ME?? Yes this is normally a game for children, yes EVERYONE participates (but of course they let jack “find it” <3)

.

obviously mary is jack’s grandmother and presents the tallis at his bar mitzvah but I think also rufus joins bobby in standing up as the grandfathers (“Not to impose, Bobby, but you got no clue what you’re doing”)

.

okay. okay, listen. point a, dean has cas’s grace in a vial necklace. point b, they stepped on a breaking glass at their wedding. point c, they seal a little bit of the broken glass into another vial or a locket or idk something, and they make it into a necklace for jack (“So you always remember that your parents love each other, and you, forever”) (this point inspired by a real couple I met who did something similar for their daughters and when they explained to me what they were doing I Cried in Public)

.

Alexa How Do We Prepare Our Child for Their B’nai Mitzvah When They Were Briefly G-d as a Toddler

[casmybelovedass]

| After Party in Heaven |

(I'm an idiot and deleted the original post. Fuck me)

[read on ao3]

(based on this and Chad Lindberg’s tweets)

Ellen and Ash had practically thrown them out the Harvelle's, insisting they went home and enjoy the rest of the night, while they cleaned up the place. "It's Heaven," they had said "we could wish it clean. We are choosing not to".

The broken pool table, yickes, that one really got out of hand. Pretty sure at least one window got smashed. Somethings caught fire... oh well...

Dean had quickly scribbled an "I owe you" note and left it on one of the tables.

Sam and Eileen had left a little earlier, excusing themselves to have an almost-midnight walk by the lake. Wholesome. He hadn't wasted a second to tell them to just go away and be gross freely (affectionate).

Jack, Charlie, Bobby, Rufus, Jo, and the others, Dean had assured could keep partying in his honour, even if he was no longer there.

He was tipsy (kind concession of Heaven, considering he would have been dead again from the amount of alcohol he had consumed did he break that bottle or was it Ash), full of pie, slightly breathless from all the singing, and very much old.

He deserved a good birthday night of sleep.

 

Though a happiness overload was just what he needed, especially on that day, Dean had no doubt the warm feeling in his chest wasn't going to be temporary, not a variable.

Just like the warmth in his hand. Secure. Strong. Reassuring. Real.

Cas was right next to him. Hand in his. Gracefully leading him to the car they got there with.

Not quite pulling, not even guiding him. If felt more as if Cas were a river, its stream carrying Dean to his destination.

Or maybe it was just the beer talking.

Once the angel came to a halt, he slowly turned to face him, hands still together, a fond smile on his lips and in his eyes.

Beautiful.

 

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a soft voice.

Dean could feel his face forming the shit eating grin he knew he got when drunk. But that wasn't the kind of drunk he was used to.

"Awesome." and he genuinely did. For everything. All of it. Everything was quite perfect.

Cas let out a small chuckle, eyes taking in Dean's form, up and down. No funny business. It never was, not with Cas. Only fondness.

His free hand slowly came up, two fingers held near Dean's forehead.

"Do you want help sobering up?"

Dean's own free hand came up, finding Cas', and bringing it back down. Holding it there.

"Why don't you drive us back?"

They didn't even live that far from Harvelle's. Their house stood near the big lake across the roadhouse. A 5 minutes car ride. But he had insisted on driving there.

And the real reason showed in the form of playful praises on Cas' profile, face so focused on the road, and hands on the wheel. And the smile he was failing to conceal.

Beautiful.

 

Once back home, they immediately laid in bed.

Cas had made it a habit of stroking Dean's hair and back before drifting to sleep (who it was more relaxing for was heavily debated on), and this night was no different.

Those strong fingers, gently grazing his scalp, tracing patterns on his skin, keeping him close to his firm, warm body...

Dean looked up.

 

"Marry me."

 

They stopped.

Cas' body already shifting under him.

Too late to back down from it now.

Hoisting himself on his elbows, the angel looked down. Mouth slightly open, he managed to get one single word out.

"What?"

Okay, not what Dean had in mind.

But he didn't need to panic. The anxiety had already contributed to his sobering. He didn't need more.

There wasn't a reason, really, cuz Cas' blue eyes were all but rejecting his gaze.

And so, he went on.

"I defeated God. I made it to my 40s. I'm in Heaven with my family. I'm happy. And I owe it all to you."

Dean pushed himself forward on his arms, getting closer.

"Marry me, Cas." he whispered.

Their breathing combined, noses touching, Dean not sure whether to close his eyes and enjoy the moment, or keep them open in search of an answer in Cas'.

And he didn't have to wait long, cuz a couple of seconds later, he found himself pressed into the mattress, Cas' weight on him, arms around his body. Not a cage.

A home.

 

Turns out, good things do happen after all.

 

 

 

Dean's 42nd year officially began with a ring in his breakfast leftover pie, and a choke-laughed

"That's the corniest shit you've ever done."

Reposting on its own cuz yes It's past 3 am woho

@mishavacado thank you for the ring in the pie idea

@destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh here's Dean's proposal!

@spicegirls I just read your "good things" vows post and it made me want to DRINK NAILS

[deansfrecklesw]

I am titling this ficlet: "Because Bobby Singer Killing John Winchester Is The Best Thing Ever and Dean and Sam Deserved Better, Oh Also Rufus And Bobby Are Gay" pls enjoy u.u

------

Bobby hadn’t prepared for this.

Should he have had seen it coming? Of course, from a goddamn mile away.

But had he prepared? ‘Course not.

Bobby sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was 43, and at that age, he’d seen a few things. A few monsters, a few gods, a sprinkling of bodies in various stages of decomposition, and normally, looking at the body at his feet would be no big deal. But this time, at 43, looking at this body, Bobby realized the momentous thing he’d just done, and what it meant for him.

Muttering a string of swear words, he fumbled for the cellphone in his pocket, hurriedly dialing the number he’d memorized long ago.

The voice picked up on the other end, sounding mildly annoyed.

“I know you did not call me at 2AM, Bobby Singer.”

“Rufus, thank shit you picked up,” He cursed. “I got an issue.”

“You always got issues. Don’t mean you gotta call me about ‘em in the middle of the goddamn night.” Rufus said. Bobby could hear him groan and the creak of a bed as he sat up.

“You know that thing we talked about probably happening and you telling me I needed to prep for it--” Bobby said, sounding apprehensive. He winced as Rufus barked at him on the other end.

“Bobby, did you kill John Winchester?”

(contd under the cut!)

Bobby was silent. He stared down at the open eyes of John Wincher that were unfocused, blood running down his temple onto his face where Bobby had shot him. He lay there in the dirt of the lonely, abandoned service road that they’d met at in the middle of a town in butt-fuck nowhere Idaho.

“Maybe?” He said, wincing.

“...well, you need help hiding a body?” Rufus asked.

“I know how to hide a fucking body, Rufus,” Bobby spat. ‘I need help getting a handle on shit while I figure out how to raise two boys.”

Rufus was silent on the other end for too long. Bobby was too antsy, realizing that the safety was still off on his gun that he still held. He put the safety on and pocketed it.

“Rufus.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rufus replied hurriedly. “I’m...gimme two days. I’m wrapping up a hunt here in Florida.”

“Alright...Thanks, Rufus.”

“Yeah yeah, now get to burnin' that body before someone sees ya...no one saw you, right?” Rufus asked, suddenly concerned. Bobby rolled his eyes.

“Only the goddamn crickets. Go back to bed, Rufus. And...thanks again.”

“Night, Bobby.”

Bobby pocketed his phone and looked down at the body of John Winchester.

He had only been expecting to meet John for a few minutes--he was handing over the keys to the motel room he had booked the boys into in the next town over, planning on heading out on a hunt that would take a bit longer than normal. Bobby was just going to pick them up, take them to his place, like he had a thousand times.

But when he’d seen John, already his blood boiled. He was leaving these kids, again, to go off on some hunt after some demon that had killed his wife years ago. It enraged Bobby that he had everything, he had a family, and yet he wasted it away, shuffling them from motel to motel hunting things in the dark and dragging his boys along to watch all of it.

And so when he’d asked how they were, looking for some idea of what state they boys would be when he’d go to get them, John had replied ungratefully; Sam was being whiney (he was 11, for Gods sake), and Dean had been slipping out at night for cigarettes he’d been stealing from John’s jacket or winning at pool games.

And that had been all it’d taken. A few heated words, a couple of shoves, and Bobby had pulled his gun on John faster than either of them had expected. John had been dead before he’d hit the ground in a pathetic heap.

“Good riddance.” Bobby spat before he stooped over and grabbed John’s limp arms, dragging him off the overgrown road, and towards the trunk of his truck.

At 43, Bobby had just become a single father.

--

“Hey, boys.”

“Hey, Uncle Rufus.” They both chimed, looking up from the wooden table they sat at in Bobby’s kitchen.

Bobby looked up from the sink where he was elbow deep in dish water. He’d seen Rufus’ old red hatchback coming down the lane towards the house, dust rising in it’s wake in the summer heat.

“Boys, go play outside for a bit,” Bobby said, wiping his hands on a towel hanging over his shoulder. “Uncle Rufus and I gotta talk.”

“And do what?” Dean complained, leaning back in his chair.

“I don’t know, play?” Bobby shrugged. Dean and Sam both stared up at him blankly. They had never been given the opportunity, the leeway, to go make their own fun outside, Bobby suddenly realized. It made his heart clench.

“Look, I got a football for you two. Go throw it around--i’ll be out soon to show you how to throw it proper, alright?” Rufus said, taking a football out of one of the bags he carried and throwing it towards Sam. Sam caught it, and broke out into a huge smile, looking to Dean as if seeking permission. Dean rolled his eyes, but ruffled Sam’s hair and nodded.

“Thanks uncle Rufus!” Sam said before hopping off his chair and running out the open front door, Dean chasing after him.

The kitchen was quiet for a moment as Bobby and Rufus both watched them run to the field, just beyond the car lot that Bobby had set up for his business. They could watch them from the porch, and both of them stood there for a moment as the boys ran next to one another, acting more like the children they were than Bobby had ever seen before.

“...Thanks, Rufus.” Bobby said.

“I got a feelin’ you gonna be sayin’ that a loooot more from now on.” Rufus said with a smile and a wink in Bobby’s direction. Bobby rolled his eyes and leaned on the doorway, crossing his arms as Rufus took a seat in one of the wooden rocking chairs on the porch.

“So, what’s the plan here, Bobby? And what in god’s name set you off so bad you had to kill John right then and there? Didn’t we say you’d do it when I was around? Didn’t we talk about planning?” Rufus asked, breaking the silence between them that had been comfortable, watching Sam and Dean tossing the football and wrestling it from one anothers arms, tussling in the grassy field.

“I know, I know,” Bobby said. “It...just happened, alright? It’s over. The ungrateful bastard was complaining about them, you know?”

Rufus scoffed in disgust. “Yeah, sounds like the John Winchester I know.”

“So...I dunno, Rufus. I...I told 'em John died on a hunt. I guess I’m raising two boys alone now.” Bobby said.

“Well what the hell am I, chopped liver?” Rufus asked, throwing his hands up as he rocked in the chair, looking at Bobby with an exasperated expression.

“Well, I ain’t expectin’ you to stick around, Rufus. I just need a hand for a week or so so I can get them set up at school, find a pediatrician, god knows when they last had a booster shot--, a dentist,” Bobby began listing off all the things that had been rattling in his brain and keeping him up the last two days. Normally, it was demons and hunting cases keeping him wired, but now it was figuring out life for two boys that kept him awake at night.

“Slow down, Bobby.”

Rufus’ hand was on his, and Bobby looked down at him in surprise. Rufus gave his hand a squeeze, grounding Bobby to the moment, looking up at him with warm brown eyes.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere, Bobby. We’ll figure it out. Together.” Rufus said.

Bobby swallowed the worried lump in his throat, feeling the comfort of having Rufus by his side.

“...Thanks, Rufus.”

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

The Rooster Sunrise motel and the roots of the narrative at the sunset of the story. A masterclass in Dean characterization

If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way? / If this isn’t love / then why do I thrill? / And what makes my head go round...

This song plays as Travis comes in to check at the Rooster Sunrise motel - late in the night, later than the motel technically allows checks in. Metaphorically, this episode happens later than it should. Everything happens later than it should. Dean defeats the monster too late, after it gets Travis dead. They’re running a case when they should actually be preparing for the ultimate showdown against God. Dean tells Sam the truth about Jack too late. The very episode is “out of place” in the season - I mean, purposely so - because it gives us a “old style” hunting case in a season where hunting has lost its original purpose in the narrative but has taken a different purpose, as a sort of caricature of itself, as we’ve discussed about before.

This episode is a last. Okay, we haven’t seen the next few yet, but this episode has a specific function, and it is to be the last traditional hunting case of the show. It’s about the past, and that’s why it can happen now that hunting can no longer exist, not really. This season, we have never had real hunting cases. Fake ones, weird ones, ones that just felt off -- obviously because the story is no longer working the way it did before. Chuck’s “hamster wheel” has been fully revealed, and the narrative can no longer function in the old way.

And this episode happens as... a sunset, actually. Or better, both sunrise and sunset because it shows us, in parallel, the beginning and the end. The first case Dean and Sam work together, and what is essentially the last, at least the last with the traditional formula - a monster of the week, a motel, a gross place, a civilian saved, some choking, some yeeting across a motel room, you know how it goes.

(The elephant in the room is the sun/sunrise imagery across the show, especially relevant after the latest episode brought back the Gas’n’Sip logo, of course, but let’s talk about something else here.)

There are many echoes in the episode. 2x11 Playthings, a case in a hotel that involved children. 11x16 Safe House, where a case was run both in the past, by Bobby and Rufus, and in the present, and involves a monster’s nest and visions. Of course 1x18 Something Wicked, where they defeat a monster that targeted kids after an attempt when they were kids had failed to get rid of the monster for good, and where we also get flashbacks of them as kids. And many other little references and callbacks. A pretty major one (*rubs hands together*) is 10x19 The Werther Project, where something supernatural causes hallucinations that make the victim kill themselves; Dean also almost stabbed himself back then. (Cuthbert Sinclair again... bless.) Oh, well, the pilot itself, where Dean and Sam comment that they make a good team. And then Carver-era secret and lies, of course.

And 14x13 Lebanon. (Yes it gets its own paragraph...) Dean smashing the stone in the ring, making the monster disappear, parallels straight to Sam smashing the pearl, making John disappear. The other monster of the episode is John, of course, who drops the kids in some motel alone while he gets “out of reach” when Dean tries to contact him on the phone (callback to season 1, when they kept trying to call John on the phone and he never answered, not even when Dean was dying or they were in their old house in Lawrence and terrified). John only appears as an invisible figure driving the car, symbolically driving their lives (all this “killing God and getting free” is nothing but a mirror to getting free from John’s influence, right). Callback to 9x07 Bad Boys, where we also see a younger Dean and we also deal with the weight of the lifestyle John placed on him, in an episode that features a literal ghost of a parent. (Heck, we even had Dean stealing food - in 9x07 he was caught by a policeman and brought to the boys’ house, now Caitlin jokes about arresting him.)

As 1x18 Something Wicked, we are presented with how growing up among monsters and hunting cases impacted Dean as a kid. Interestingly, Sam tries to reassure Dean in both episodes, telling him that he was just a kid and he shouldn’t be too hard on himself. In 1x18 he had ruined John’s hunt and put Sam in danger (of course the implication is that John put them in danger by using them as bait and expecting a child - addditionally unaware of what was going on - to watch after a younger child), now that he didn’t tell anyone about the nest because it was too horrifying to share that with other kids (of course, he’d also been a kid and shouldn’t have had to investigate a child-killing monster, so the implication is again that John shouldn’t have left them alone and unable to reach him in case of danger. It’s so telling that the episode has Dean discovering the bodies of dead kids while Sam is playing with another kid - although, of course, the game also turns terrifying soon).

So it’s an episode that has it all: the ghost of John Winchester, the way Dean’s parentified role impacts negatively his relationship with Sam (the episode establishes a connection between Dean shielding Sam from the horror of the monster’s nest and Dean essentially shielding Sam from the horror of the latest Jack news, it’s always about Dean feeling the weight of a responsibility to Sam because he’s Sam’s caretaker, even if he ostensibily mentions Billie’s plan and stuff as the reason of his silence), and of course the theme of FEAR.

I’ve been screaming this from rooftops pretty much since I’ve been here on tumblr - fear is the interpretative key to Dean’s character. Since season 1. Since the beginning. (You’re scared. It’s okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too.) Many posts have been written about how anger is a secondary emotion, when the narrative ostensibly had Dean be “angry”. Dean has dealt with fear almost his entire life, and this episode basically works as an asterisk to the season. Hey, we’re having everyone comment on Dean’s anger! Including Dean himself! He says he doesn’t know why he has these outbursts! Well, we do know. Little reminder here now... he’s scared. And he’s scared because he cares, because he loves so much, and when you keep losing what you love you are scared, scared of losing more and more, stuck in a hamster wheel of losing and losing and losing.

In fact, if losing Jack will stop the hamster wheel, he’s fine with it, because as long as they’re stuck in the wheel they’ll lose Jack again anyway, they keep losing everything over and over, Jack and Cas and everyone. In this episode he mentions funerals of hunters, friends, how they couldn’t even attend all the funerals of people they were close to. There were so many. They’ve always been so surrounded by horror and fear and death. He just wants it to stop. (Of course the plan cannot work, just like the immersion therapy method didn’t work for Travis. Well, poor Travis’ idea of facing his fears to overcome his trauma worked very well on paper, just like Billie’s plan seems to be the best option on paper, but we still have a few episodes still to see...)

This episode is an exploration of the motives of Dean’s behavior, and it spells them out very clearly. John’s abuse and neglect, the forced parentified role he had to take towards Sam since a too-early age, the nightmarish horrors he had to see (while shielding Sam from, which reminds me of the infamous scene about Max’s childhood...), the neverending chain of losses with its baggage of fear.

Dean wants - needs - to defeat Chuck, just like Travis needed to face his fears and overcome his trauma. Because Chuck means hamster wheel. And the hamster wheel isn’t just a theoretical lack-of-free-will thing. It’s not just about a philosophical/theological concept. It’s about the very real cycle of horror and fear and loss that Dean has spent his entire life in. It’s about a pile of dead children, both a metaphor for his brutally ended childhood and a very concrete example of what has been haunting him for so long.

His apparently “okayness” with Billie’s plan is not out of a revenge thing or lack of forgiveness towards Jack (of course we can add millions of words about Dean’s relationship with Death). His okayness with killing Amara is... well, only partly about punishing her for, as he sees it, toying with him. His anger is because he feels so much. If I didn’t care / more than words can say / if I didn’t care / would I feel this way?