#and Persona... I think 5? Was one of his big ones
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emile-hides · 2 years ago
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Ayo me again
I can’t recommend the game Persona 4 highly ENOUGH ig, but as someone who also loves bears and silly little Guys, I know you would dig the game and a specific character a lot.
Unfortunately it’s kinda one of those games a la DR where you can’t look up absolutely ANYTHING because everything is a spoiler and every character has an arc, but in summary it follows the player character and his ragtag friend group over the course of a year in high school, and a bunch of bizarre supernatural murders start taking place in town, and you and your friends set about solving what’s going on and working towards putting an end to it, with the help of new friends and your own supernatural powers along the way.
There’s also multiple romance routes if you decide you wanna date, and the whole game is very very good and has a lot of heartfelt moments
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THIS THING'S A BEAR?????
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krshush · 4 months ago
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P5R | AKIRA KURUSU REN AMAMIYA JOKER +what's in the mirror, behind the mask, hiding in heart
quote credits under the cut:
1. Persona 5 Royal+vintage pin | 2. The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Anaïs Nin | 3. Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays, Christa Wolf (trans. Jan Van Heurck) | 4. Elektra, Sophocles (trans. Anne Carson) | 5. Broken Jaw, Foster the People | 6. Keeping Things Whole, Mark Strand | 7+8. April 30th in Persona 5 Royal | 9. Beneath the Mask, Lyn Inaizumi | 10. I Loved You Before I Was Born, Li-Young Lee | 11. In The Wings, Mother Mother | 12. Text post by DateAMonster and fae-bastard | 13. A LOVING LAMENT FROM A CHANGELING, KRShush (hi) | 14. Persona 5 Royal opening
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago
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THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO
masato hot
#snap chats#just like me... heh ... my ac has been broken all month im melting for the love of god send an iceberg im begging you#him turning into aoki is incredibly funny to me like jesus christ. what a lack of self love does to a mfer#but anyway 1.) please do not yell i scare easy 2.) meaner has been said its ok 3.) very reasonable to ask why anyone would like aoki#and 4.) to be Cereal he's inch resting to me. also his speech to ichi at the end hit a lil close and i was reminded of high school#5.) i really like his eng dub voice sorry im american. BUT HIS JP VOICE IS EXCELLENT TOO IM JUST SAYIN#rgg doesnt give an Exact on his disability so looking into lung diseases/conditions has also been interesting#esp post-lung surgery cases and care too so i thank rgg for the opportunity to do some reading#i also do In General just like cases of someone wanting to be loved and changing drastically to get it only to still be unhappy#granted. he sucks so LMAO can only have so much sympathy but it's still interesting to watch#the arakawas is also a part of why i like him because they all work as a big machine. if that makes sense#like the arakawas in general are such an interesting bundle i love all of them a lot because of what they mean to each other#in the case of aoki none of them mean anything to him at most resenting arakawa and despising ichi#meanwhile sawashiro's just. There LOL im so sorry king thats the truth of it all ... i love you tho ...#oh but back to aoki. i also really like politican characters- or at least characters who can have a 'public' persona#its fun thinking about what they have to do mentally to present themselves in public versus when they can 'be themselves'#like aoki's 'intro' scene where he's pleasant to his secretary and then a second later is conniving with ogasawara... peak i fear#OR THEEEE CAR PARK ONE i love that scene so much ...#very fun.. aoki being a politician just makes it infinitely funnier like guys we gotta bully the governor#plus i live and breathe by a glass analysis/comparison a twitter mutual of mine did ... i love glass imagery .......#uhhhh is that all ... idk prob im literally sweating my skin off i cant think right. my clothes are sticking to my skin i hate summer#i dont hate summer im so sorry i didnt mean it .... summer is beautiful .. i just wish this heat wasnt murdering me
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amxthystiine · 1 year ago
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Also while ik P5T hasn't released yet and nor has its DLC I'm like 90% sure that Akechi is Guernica so I'm posting this here in case Apollo hits me with that dodgeball and I'm right (I have circumstancial evidence & a theory kind of I think)
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princekirijo · 9 months ago
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I'm so excited to share Riku's persona designs at some point
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grandwretch · 30 days ago
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nah bc aj raffles would absolutely be my persona in persona 5 and when everyone gets to the end of the palace where my personal trauma is laid bared to the entire party they're like wait what what the fuck does aj raffles have to do with any of this and i'm like oh. no. that's just because i'm gay and lazy. i genuinely don't know what's wrong with the rest of you.
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harmoonix · 5 months ago
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ℝ𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕓𝕠𝕨
"Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to
make you stand out."
Astrology Observations
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~ I can see a rainbow
In your tears as the sun comes out ~
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🌈 - Sun aspecting the ascendant natives will always have an inner "shine" inside them, their energy is so warm and kind
🌈 - Midheaven at 5°, 17°, 29° (In Leo too) gets easily liked since childhood, you know that child everyone likes, they can also be talented from young
🌈 - Venus in Earth Signs is possible the most secure Venus ever as they always have everything planned and in order but also a luxurious style
🌈 - Sun or Moon in the 11th house make friendships for life the same if you have 1st house lord in the 11th house!
🌈 - Mars in the 11th house or Mars in Aquarius can sacrifice for their friends, people dear to them, Mars here is always thinking at the others
🌈 - Moon in the 3rd house natives can tied themselves to others emotionally, Moon here can be very social but also shy in the same time (depends on the aspects)
🌈 - The RISING SIGN in your Aura Asteroid (1488) PERSONA CHART can show your overall aura you send to others/first impression
Fire Rising -> Fierce, wild, brave, bold, confident, stubborn, loud
Earth Rising -> Cold, stylish, patient, chill, respectable, natural,
Water Rising -> Nurturing, with the head in the clouds, sensitive, fresh, sensual
Air Rising -> Invincible, mentally strong, communicative, friendly, catchy
🌈 - Sun combined with fire Degrees 1°, 13°, 25°, 5°, 17°, 29°, 9°, 21° will always the the coolest people, this fire energy gives them popularity and they're well liked by others
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──────────────────────────────
I know you, you're a special one
Some see crazy where I see love
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🌈 - Natives with Uranus aspecting Sun/Ascendant or Midheaven had crazy/innovative ideas about the world since they were young
🌈 - South Node aspecting Sun or Moon will give you an attachment energy, like getting attached by literally anything, places, people, stories, events etc
🌈 - Aquarius Rising or at Rising at 11°, 23° is known for being humanitarian! Standing for people's rights
🌈 - Eros (433) in Sagittarius/9H or Eros at 9°, 21° degrees. Literally the archer archetype, their arrow will strike your heart and you can fall in love with their exotic nature
🌈 - Lilith in Capricorn/aspecting Saturn will not let anybody to bring them down, because karma always returns. Sooner or later
🌈 - Air Moons/Air Mercuries will have the best music style, wanna have a party? Ask them for music ideas 💡
🌈 - Mercury in the 7H natives are heavenly blessed, this placement will give you lots of closure and communication with your spouse
🌈 - Mars aspecting Uranus natives need lots of movement, they're explosive type of people, they have a unique sense of rebellion
🌈 - Sun aspecting Neptune natives can be the kindest people in the room, sadly sometimes they tend to get ignored by others that's why you need to find good people around you
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You fall so low but shoot so high
Big dreamers shoot for open sky
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🌈 - Pluto/Mars in your 1st house will change you so much during life, they're both very changing and unexpected when it comes to your life path
🌈 - Lilith in Leo / 5H / in Leo Degrees 5°, 17° 29° have their special charm, Lilith finds herself very creative and inspirational here
🌈 - Some "mini - observations" about Lilith (h12 or h13) aspecting the ascendant ( all aspects/including minor ones)
People will get attracted by your persona
People can judge you for who you are (don't mind them)
People can be curious about your past
You can attract manipulators/toxic people/
You can be confused about your sexual desires
🌈 - Lilith in Aquarius/ 11H / at 11°, 23° is when Lilith finds about all the things that were hidden from her and wants to start something new, wants something unique, wants something different
🌈 - Lilith in Gemini / 3H / at 3°. 15°. 27° degrees have a really sexual/sensual voice let's not lie here, they're openly communicative and can sense what people are feeling without them telling that/ Some people say Lilith is exalted in Gemini but I'm not really sure!!
🌈 - When Moon is aspecting Mercury you find these natives you get easily along with, like you share the same things together with them and that's what makes you special
🌈 - Jupiter aspecting Moon is a very deep placement spiritually, like they can understand things not that not everybody can and their open minded persons can open new doors for them in life
🌈 - I would love to have Moon in the 5H because is a very artistical, creative, lovely place for the Moon to be in. Moon is actually full of life here, and people with those placements are blessed!🩵
🌈 - Moon in the 10H is not far away from being creative as well! But here they put in practice their creativity with their work and their environment!
🌈 - Asteroid Aphrodite (1388) being retrograde in your chart indicates healing beauty/self beauty, is actually not as bad as you may think, Lady Aphrodite is not that harsh here!
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I can see a rainbow
In your tears as the sun comes out
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🌈 - I heard that when Vertex aspects your Sun you're favored by the men in your life and when aspects the Moon you're favored by the women in your life
🌈 - My asteroid amor in Pisces at 0° is crying right now because every time there is an love asteroid mine has to be around 0° - 5° degrees axis and not aspecting anything 😍/😭/🤡 (Are you joking to me... is in the 2H as well I hate asteroids in this house)
🌈 - Anyways you guys, having amor (1221) in Gemini or 3rd house will mske you to crush for multiple people at once and attracting more love interests
🌈 - Amor in Capricorn or 10H will make you to attract responsible/respectul/determinated partners, some of them can have a reputation (10H energy)
🌈 - Being born with 11th house placements/Stellium can be truly a gift because is the house of the community and desires, you are meant to find your community of people
🌈 - Natives with major 4H placements can have a strong connection with their family/ancestors/relatives and even at raising their own family
🌈 - Sun in Taurus/2H and Sun at 2° 14° 26° degrees are easily liked by people, they have a very caring and kind energy, they are the symbol of peace
🌈 - Sun in Gemini/3rd or Sun at 3°, 15° 27° degrees are like a social butterfly, they're funny, they have a very charismatic energy, they are the cherry on the cake literally
🌈 - Can we talk about Saturn/Neptune in the 6H/12H can drain natives like subconsciously and spiritually?? Like people can steal your energy and mood/even happiness at times. Take care
🌈 - Aries Mars/Venus/Saturn, have a bit of spiciness in them. One thing about them is that they'll love to catch people's attention and most times it works
🌈 - Some "Juno Observations" and things about your spouse
Juno in Leo/5H natives probably will have a spouse who will cherish them, also a spouse who can be proud of them
Juno in the 9H/Sagittarius natives will have that romantic travel thingy with their spouses
Juno in Earth Signs can get married to a very hardworking spouse, that spouse that's always busy with work
Juno in Pisces/12H is so magical, they can have that intense spiritual energy with their spouses
Juno in Scorpio/8H can have very private and secretive relationships, they don't want people to know about these
Juno in Aquarius/11H can date/marry someone from their friends cycle like kind of friends to lovers thing
Juno in the 6H can have a very blessed marriage/relationship because their spouses can be their source of happiness
🌈 - Something underrated about Sagittarius Placements is their INTUITION. They can possess a very strong intuition and clever mind to help them during bad situations
I have a friend who's telling me " I may be stubborn as a TAURUS but I have the intuition of a SAG" love that every time.
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🌈 - Having Jupiter aspecting your Moons makes you attractively kind. So basically your kindness can be attractive to others
🌈 - Saturn in the 7H/Saturn in Libra or Saturn at 7° 19° degrees have a karmic love attached to them. They're destined to marry someone karmic as well
🌈 - Chiron in Earth Sings like Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, the wounds can be healed using nature's help. just go out and embrace the nature you can heal that way, mother nature is calling for you
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I am here and I see your pain
Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain
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🌈 - Chiron in Water Signs like Pisces, Scorpio and Cancer, the wounds can be healed with understanding your emotions and inner child. But also the sea or ocean. Can be very dear to you and may heal you or relax you
🌈 - Chiron in Air Signs like Gemini, Aquarius and and Libra talks about understanding who you really are because from all Chiron signs these they deal with personality or identity wounds is important to find who you really are inside
🌈 - Chiron in Fire Signs like Aries, Sagittarius or Leo is to never let people steal your spark, or things that make you happy, be as you want or wish. Be wild like the jungle and never ever stop believing in what makes you happy
🌈 - When Moon finds herself in Earth Signs she may act more "motherly" or more "caring" this is giving a lot of Demeter vibes from Greek mythology
🌈 - Moon in the 9h or at 9° 21° degrees is when the moon finds herself being very creative/happy/lucky and even justice. You are giving Athena from Greek mythology
🌈 - Having Asteroid Vesta (4) aspecting Lilith in harsh aspects. These aspects tell about rights and justice and power of freedom
In square, at some point, you'll be called to full an important spiritual mission that can give meaning to your life
In opposition, you may feel torn between your desires and your need to fulfill a sacred calling that requires sacrifice
In conjunction, you can find sexual exploration to be an uplifting and spiritual inspiring experience
🌈 - If you have a Libra Moon/Moon in the 7H or Moon under Libra Degree 7° 19°. You're an epitome of balance and harmony, at least, that's what people say about these, but the real side of these placements... can be that they can struggle with indecision even though they represent balance, life works in mysterious ways. Remember that Libra is saturnian as well, and if you have those placements yet a chaotic life, it is karmic to find your peace.
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🌈 - Your sidereal Moon can tell about your inner personality, remember how some say sidereal chart is the chart of your soul. So if you have a tropical Pisces Moon can you have a Aquarius sidereal Moon
I have a Sidereal Virgo Moon, yet I don't find myself critical as some say about Virgo Moons. I would rather find myself more hardworking and nurturing 🌎
🌈 - Capricorn/10H Moon, it's a place in your chart where your feelings/emotions get exposed to others, so because of these, some people may think youre a cold person when they first meet you
🌈 - Gemini Moon/3H Moon they really love to talk, and for their best these natives need to surround themselves with people who appreciate their talking skills, don't stay with someone who doesn't want to hear about how was your day, instead stay with someone who would love to hear about your day!!
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𝓢𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮
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🌈 - It is known for Aquarius Placements to have the power to influence people! It works especially when our world is literally controlled by technology! People can actually follow your lead (I also adoreeee their humanitarian side because they won't settle for less when it comes to the rights/equality)
🌈 - Because I really love the past life themes and I know that if you have South Node aspecting Saturn you can have and you stoll had karmic past lives
🌈 - Jupiter or Mars in fire signs are very intense so full of emotions, sometimes even out of anger, very stubborn energyyy, gets angry fast. Can't handle when people tell them they're wrong
🌈 - Those born with Uranus in the 3H/6H or 12H can predict things that can happen in close future
🌈 - Saturn/Capricorn in your 12H can tell about having more struggles when you're younger and more peace when you're a bit more mature/older
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𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐰
𝐈𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭
──────────────────────────────
🌈 - I know natives with Leo Moon who have siblings who overshadow them, so in a way, if you have Leo Moon and siblings, you can also struggle with family issues! I also know plenty of Leo Moons that have parents who prefer their siblings instead. Which is very sad because neither of the parents should do differences between their kids
🌈 - Chiron in your 11H or in Aquarius can talk about finding the good people to be your friends. You really need to find your community of people
🌈 - Uranus in your 8H can talk about a very electrifying and sexual energy! I see this placement so rare in the 8H lol. Definitely unique
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🌈 People who follow my account know that it stays for equality for all! 🌈
Enioy the post!!🌈😍 And happy pride month even if this one is a lil' late.
H @ r m o o n I x
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northopalshore · 2 months ago
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Rising Signs in the MC persona chart
The rising sign in your Midheaven Persona Chart represents the way you are seen in your career or in your public life.
₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊
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₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊
How to find MC persona chart?
In the signs & degrees
Aries 1°, 13°, 25°:
You are seen as someone who is very honest, direct, stubborn and passionate. You might also be seen as a competitive or a very significant opponent. People will be especially judgmental with you.
Taurus 2°, 14°, 26°:
You are seen as very elegant, patient, friendly and lovely. You will also tend to be seen as a loverboy/girl that's down to earth. You could also be seen as stubborn, slow, or lazy.
ex: Lisa has Taurus rising (12° pisces) in her MC persona chart. She's seen as someone very friendly and relatable but also elegant and untouchable. (information from astrotheme, could be unreliable)
Gemini 3°, 15°, 27°:
You are seen as someone very quick witted and talkative. You are also seen as friendly and open minded. Some people might see you as fake or "loud"/annoying however.
ex: Cardi B has her MC PC rising in Cancer (27° gemini). She's seen as someone talkative, loud and very vocally genuine with her feelings. She's known to not hide how she feels with her audience. A lot of people empathize with her backstory. She's also great at conveying her feelings and frustration through rap/talking, writing.
Cancer 4°, 16°, 28°:
You are seen as someone very innocent or someone that needs to be protected. People could find comfort in your presence. You could also be seen as someone soft, genuine and emotional. On the downside, people could assume you are immature or too emotional.
ex: Jungkook has a Cancer rising (22° capricorn) in his MC persona chart.He's known as the youngest of BTS and people tend to mother/baby him well until now.
I also have this lol. My rising is Cancer (28° cancer) in the MC Persona Chart. Well, I think this one will unfold itself eventually so I won't write it here.
Leo 5°, 17°, 29°:
You're seen as a showstopper, someone with a big presence. The one to turn heads when they enter the room. People will see you as someone popular and talented. On the downside people can think you are somebody attention depraved or a pick me even when you aren't.
ex: Megan Fox has Leo rising (20° scorpio) in her MC persona chart. It's Megan Fox girl, no explanation needed.
Virgo 6°, 18°:
You are seen as someone practical, analytical and mature. People could see you as reliable and careful. You are usually used as a reference point for everyone else. People will also be very critical of you or think you are too judgy or harsh.
ex: Ex-US President Obama has Virgo rising (4° cancer). People see him as a very calm, rational person who is down to earth and connected to the people.
Libra 7°, 19°:
You are seen as someone flirty, beautiful and charming. Many people will be stricken by the way you look and dress. You are seen as fair and nonjudgmental. You could also be seen as petty, shallow or fake however.
Scorpio 8°, 20°:
You are seen as a baddie lol. A savage, ruthless and threatening. Your presence will likely be very impactful for those around you. People tend to judge you a lot however, you could attract a lot of hate just for existing in the public light.
ex: Megan thee Stallion has Scorpio rising (22° capricorn) in her MC persona chart. She's seen as someone savage, s*xual, hardworking and revolutionary i.e she's well known for being a weeb while being a rapper which wasn't as commonly addressed in the industry.
Sagittarius 9°, 21°:
You're seen as someone very friendly and relatable. People will think you're funny and witty, but also wiser than you'd first appear as. You could also be seen as rather preachy or have some sort of god complex.
ex: Billie Eilish has Sagittarius rising (9° sagittarius) in her MC persona chart. She's seen as relatable and opinionated, but super friendly and funny.
Capricorn 10°, 22° :
You could be seen as untouchable or unapproachable but hardworking and loyal. People may think that you are very serious or strict, not someone who would be tolerant of mistakes. People could think you're cold or very dominant at first.
Aquarius 11°, 23°:
You are seen as an independent person. Someone with zany antics and unconventional ideas or appeal. You will also be seen as rebellious and revolutionary. People might have their opinion about you (whether good or bad), because of the same traits mentioned.
Pisces 12°, 24°:
You are seen as ethereal, kind, passive, dreamy and soft. People will be drawn to you spiritually and they might even put you on a pedestal. You might also be seen as unrealistic or unreliable at times. You could also be seen as delusional.
ex: Ariana Grande has Pisces rising (11° aquarius). Many people idolise her in her career, seeing her as emotional and unparalleled to other artists. Innocent and almost untouchable. Her music is seen as revolutionary and unique (as she combines multiple styles to create her signature style).
₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊
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₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊
*** entertainment only, reader discretion is advised***
Thank you for reading ♡
@northopalshore
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blackbirdsblackberries · 2 months ago
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I Hate The New Hero!
Pt 5: What?!
Finally getting home from your patrol you sneak through the window of your bedroom and collapse onto your bed. After the call you decided that your patrol was done.
Frankly you're still coming to terms with the fact that Batman and his protogese are the same people who are essentially praying on your civilian self's downfall yet adoring your vigilante persona like it's the greatest thing in the world.
Though, now that you really think about it, it makes sense. Bruce Wayne is the richest man alive, he'd be able to afford to do this, they have the same amount of members as the heroes, same builds and heights, actually... Basically everything matches up.
Not to mention the fact that your senses goes off around both group members!
From outside your small room door you hear your parents arguing again - more like your mother yelling and your dad breaking things and stomping his foot. It was probably your dad's fault again. Don't get you wrong, you love your family! It's just that they're dysfunctional.
Your dad has a massive drinking problem that landed him working as a goon for Black Mask, he's struggled with his temper for years after he got hit a bit too hard in the head by Batman. Pair that with the fact that he's mute and he's a force to be reckoned with.
Your mom is always busy and rarely ever home, when she is she couldn't be bothered to interact with you unless you got into trouble. She grew up rich, often talking about how she went to the same school as Bruce Wayne and how she was a popular cheerleader before her life fell apart. She doesn't talk much on the topic but it's clear she holds distain for your father and, by extension, you.
You sigh to yourself, you need to shower. That means you need to get past them without them bringing you into it. Or you just don't shower for the night and have one tomorrow...
Your mom screams something out about not throwing knives and you decide to just shower tomorrow morning.
You change out of your costume and hide it safely under a loose floorboard, you change into your pajamas and get into bed. Today was a massive mental drain and physical drain.
...
You awake to a knock at the front door. Your parents usually ignore it and make you answer when someone knocks because "you're dispensable" as they say. Looking at the clock on the wall of the kitchen you see it's around 7am.
Groggily making your way to the door you look through the peep hole and see Tim standing awkwardly on the other side with a guy next to him, the guy next to him being so big and tall that you could only see a small part of his chest and arm.
You curse to yourself quietly, this is by far the worst luck you've ever had.
You open the door and look at the two. Now seeing the other guy the thing that stands out is a stripe of white hair on his head. Instantly you know it's Jason Todd.
You aren't an idiot. He's the only one in the family built like how he is - not including Bruce.
"What do you want?" You ask, annoyed. Tim chuckles weakly, as if nervous. "Wayne Enterprises wishes to give your mother her letter of departure." You blink once, then twice. "Huh? Letter of departure? The fuck does that mean?" You mutter, genuinely confused.
Jason scoffs, "it means your dear mother is losing her job, kid." He states uncaring of how blunt he's being. Tim elbows him and hisses something about being more considerate.
You don't listen, all noise becoming white noise. Why is she being fired? She works hard, she dedicates her time, she does her best! Is this because you have beef with Tim? That's not fair!
She's the only stable source of income, without that job you all would be living on the streets. You've heard AND seen so many horror stories about teens living on the streets, it's something you'd pray never happened to you. But now it's entirely probable.
So, in a moment of desperation you grip Tim by his shoulders "Please! You can't fire her! We'll end up homeless! She works all the time, she tries! My mother will improve if you ask, she needs this job. The whole family does!"
Tim seems shocked by this, his posture stiffening. Jason looks on guard, as if assessing whether he should step in, though he doesn't seem fond of the idea. You wouldn't doubt that he was made to accompany Tim as a body guard.
Tim opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. Clearly he wasn't expecting you to beg for your mother to keep her job.
"Uh... Look, I don't mean any harm by it, it's just that we need to make way for brighter minds..." He stumbles slightly over his words as if making the excuse up on the spot.
You won't back down however. "Tim, please, I desperately need you to realize this. I. Will. Die. On. The. Streets." Probably not true because of your mutation but the fear remains. "Please, I'll do anything for you to not do this! I already promised Bruce to stop talking bad about Aranea!" You please desperately.
Tim glances to Jason who quirks a brow and shrugs. The sound of movement from behind you makes your eyes widen and behind you you see your dad approaching, you were probably too loud.
He glares at you before yanking your hair so you move away from Tim and remove your clutches on him. You hiss in pain at the feeling but bow your head down.
Your dad eyes the two boys before looking to the paper in Tim's hands. He instantly knows what's going on and storms down the hallways of the complex to do who-knows what. That scares you. Your dad is unpredictable.
After some silence Tim speaks up. "Are you okay? Your dad pulled your hair pretty tightly..." You look down, ashamed. You couldn't even bother putting your walls up and defending your pride. Your life is basically falling apart at the seams.
"... I'll do anything for you to not fire my mother..." You mutter meekly, a far cry from how you usually act, something Tim notices immediately. He sighs to himself, he debates the odds. Maybe if he doesn't fire (Reader)'s mother then they can be even. The feud can end, it was pointless on your part to begin with for hating someone so sweet and kind, then hating him who defends the innocent.
"Fine. Your mother can stay, but, it may not be permanent. I suggest she find elsewhere in the mean time." Tim states before walking off. Jason takes a second to stare at your relived form, the slight smile of disbelief and look of relief in your eyes. He then leaves with Tim.
You close the door to the apartment and sink to the floor. That was terrifying. You'll have find a way of telling your mother the news before she goes into work in two hours.
You're officially having the day off from school and patrol today.
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acid-ixx · 5 months ago
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i’m kinda curious on whether or not the reader would continue going to college after they go back to the wayne manor. furthermore, i also remember the resder mentioning a small group of friend they had, will they stay in contact with them? how do the family react to them being so close with others? dudhjew i love this series you write so well.
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— masterlist !
a/n: phew i finally get to answer asks !! yesterday was insane, me and my family swam on around 5 different beaches so i was outside for more than 12 hours with no wifi and the power keeps turning off in the house due to the weather so that's that. i love writing so this is a bit longer than i expected hehe. oh yeah i forgot to tell yall that in the timeline, the mc may be bruce's third child but they're actually younger than tim as he was adopted later on.
now, to answer. i don't think bruce, as your ever-so loving father, would agree to get you back to college once you're back (kidnapped) in the manor. he wouldn't directly say it, but with your current state of relationship towards your family, with just how much time they have lost not spending it with you, it's a given that bruce, your dad, and your siblings who are feral for any ounce of attention from you, would insist that you take... a very long vacation with just them.
after all, desire is one of the stronger emotions they feel towards you, and they grapple at anything you offer towards them. but they still want you to be happy, no?
so at first, they'll let you go to your classes (though you'd be heavily monitored everywhere. who knows what bad influences scurry the area, right? barbara and tim take turns watching through the live feed of your college) but that's only if, and only if the uni's timetable allows for a flexible schedule with your family after. that means, if you're stubborn enough (which bruce understands, because "bruce! you allow damian to go to school so why can't i?!" and he's willing to give his baby the world after he finally hears them say his name) and still wish to continue the course you're working so hard for, one you had attained a full scholarship for, then go ahead!
though they can't help it when the hours they're supposed to get to know you better are taken away from them. for now, you'll have a taste of freedom before it's ultimately taken away from you.
but until then, you'll have to learn how to balance school life with family life. because even if there would be no more crappy apartment to go home to, even if you actually get a full meal instead of cheap, microwavable oven meals and dollar priced ramen, even if you still get to pursue your dream course— it's undeniable that the moment you leave your uni's doors, you'd be picked up by dick, tim, and even your youngest brother damian fucking wayne driving the car, to be escorted back to the manor strictly after classes. during the night, should you ever overstay for projects, it would be jason who'll greet you and allow you to ride his motorcycle; though that's only permissible if you have updated them a day before that you wouldn't be home before the curfew bruce has set up for you.
sometimes, it's your father who makes an untimely appearance with his well-known persona, brucie wayne. he'll greet all the people who pass by with a teethy smile, his big hand holding your stiff shoulders after he kisses your cheeks as a greeting. if you're out the door with your friends - friends who knew of your history of neglect, who told you they would always take your side - then he'll shake their hand, introduce himself with a charm that makes them question if what you've told them is true.
he presents himself with such an aura that's harmless, as if him and your other siblings who are spying by a bush aren't incapable of taking all friends down with just a punch to their face shall one of them speak up or dare tease you in front of them.
unfortunately for you, even some of your friends would be truly convinced that your father wasn't the same man you've told your lifelong stories about neglect. not when he makes a show of running his hand through his baby's head to comfort them whilst he talks to them, not when he cloaks your shoulders in his own work suit to make sure his child wouldn't feel the chilly weather, not when he takes all the time in his busy day to pick you up from school as he should've done all those years ago.
but who would believe you when it's obviously known by the public eye that bruce loves his child, (name) wayne?
you know it's all fake, and it's scary for you, that he simply was able to make a cover up story to the journalists that his child's lack of presence to the public is him merely wishing to shield them from the disgusting media, no?
now that you're older, he says, he would want to make a show of his undying grip over you, that his gleeming eyes that hold multiple threats towards the people in your campus is simply his overprotectiveness as your father, that if they ever harm you or dare question your family's overprotective nature towards you; they'd be gone by the very hands that sworn to protect gotham.
it's all fake, you tell yourself.
but what isn't false are his intentions to make you feel like you're part of the family now, no matter how much you kick, or fight, or scream; they'll always remind you that you're loved and always will be. it's both an apology and display of affection towards you.
it doesn't matter if your uni is on the other side of gotham, you're always coming home to them and that's final. at least you know they still have an ounce of empathy for you to continue having friends (and a boyfriend that they've no knowledge of, yet), as long as they heavily monitor you...
... what you don't know, though, is that the moment you've fallen into the hands of danger— your father wouldn't hesitate pulling you out of college and instead settling for homeschooling. you have brilliant siblings, after all, and a father who had trained all over the world.
that's why hangouts with friends are unpermitted, you soon discover that only trying to beg bruce to at least be more flexible with your friends would only lead to even lesser chance of trying to find escape in your already stuffy life.
and don't even dare throw a tantrum about preferring your friends over them. if you even go as far as calling one of your friend's parents as an even better parent than bruce could be, that your friends are people you consider actual siblings, then you've guaranteed yourself a one way ticket to being locked up in the manor, permanently; with your father and your siblings, especially damian, trying to prove themselves that, no, you didn't just fucking say that, take it back.
you're going to witness a personal breakdown from damian. because no way do you prefer those scum over him! he's supposed to be your favorite, who are they to take his place?! you love him, you love them, you wanted attention from the family, didn't you?! you wouldn't be able to comfort him because he'd already wear his robin suit, ready to eliminate any of your friends who are younger than you because they don't deserve to be seen as your younger sibling, no matter if you had just blurted that out as retaliation for an argument.
what you had just said is serious, and bruce and dick wouldn't even try to stop that kid from slashing someone in broad daylight; dick choosing to cry and refusing to let you go from his arms as he babbles on about his delusional baby bird, trying his damn best to not let his temper get to him, trying so hard to not choke the ever living shit out of any of your older friends once you confess calling anyone of them your older brother— because him, jason, and tim are supposed to be the only ones you consider your older brothers, babybird!
hell, even tim and babs are already on the monitors ready to give damian each and every one of your friend's individual locations.
bruce especially, would be heartbroken that his child called someone else their father. that's his title. you calling him father, or dad, or papa, or any language that describes him to be your parental figure is the only thing keeping him sane. he hates it when his child only calls him bruce as if to describe a mere stranger, to which he knows he is to you— but it sounds wrong and it furthers the ache in his heart— and it's even worse if you chose to call someone else a father, chose anyone else than him as your dad.
batman is even more cruel in his patrol after your argument, punching the living hell out of any male criminals, picturing your voice playing over and over again calling them your father instead of him— it only makes him perceptive of jason's moral code. because what if you have fallen into the hands of anyone but him before he had come to take you back? he knows he isn't the best, was never there for you until now, but fuck, he needs to make it up to his child, and getting angry at you only worsens your already severed bond with him.
so you may expect a punishment, but it's already punishment towards you when you're now isolated inside the manor with only the presence of your siblings to comfort you throughout the nights where it gets too lonely during patrol time. bruce would have more than an hour long talk with you in his study, forcing you to confess every single thought you have about him and your siblings. he tells you it's all unrecorded, that there's no cameras to watch over your one-on-one confrontation— he just wants his baby's opinion on everything so they could adjust to your every whim, but really, it's all just a matter of them wanting to dive deep into your very thoughts like the invasive creatures they are.
the worst part of it all, is that nobody even dare mentions the names of your friends and their respective family. they listen to anything you say, because you already barely talk, but the moment you mutter about missing them, the topic would be shunned down by something, anything else. whether that'd be damian deciding that his older sibling should paint with him, or dick inviting you to watch him perform his acrobatic stunts.
it's a distraction you know you're susceptible to, because they all wish to take your thoughts away from those scum, as damian calls them, and instead have you focus on them, your actual family. those people are nothing to you, now that they're out of the picture.
... you should've chosen to be homeschooled instead of unintentionally getting your friends killed.
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kp-alice · 2 months ago
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The Puppy With an MAcc
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Summary: Despite officially retiring as a professional dominatrix months ago, there's one client you've decided to keep. Maybe it's because of the generous amount he pays, or maybe, just maybe, it's more than that. With the lines between the two of you continuously blurring, you can't help but return every time.
AKA a hopelessly devoted accountant!sub!Yunho x hesitantly-in-love!dom!f!reader
Word count: 5 150
Warnings: non-sexual dominance (kneeling, various acts of service, pet names - Miss, Puppy, etc.), crying, implied minor age difference (like 3-4 years but both characters are in their 20s), basically just two cowards in love who are too scared to admit their feelings to each other but love to indulge in non-committal domesticity
A/N: This fic is the second part of my sub!Yunho Kinktober 2024! The event's masterlist can be found here.
A/N 2: MAcc = Master of Accountancy (I think?? if I got it wrong, please correct me!!)
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Your "dominatrix era", as your close friends liked to call it, was pretty short-lived, to say the least.
Well, it's not like you intended on making it your full-time job for the rest of time, anyway. Really, at the core of it, it was mostly just curiosity you wished to sate before getting out into the real world after university. Because of this, you didn't exactly focus on "expanding your empire", keeping only a handful of clients you'd found nice enough to deal with on a semi-regular basis.
The first few months were fun, to say the least. After all, how could you not feel excited at the thought of ordering wealthy men around for money? It made you giddy just thinking about it - you, a normal uni student, making powerful guys crawl around like dogs and thank you for it at the end of each session. Not to mention how good it felt to see them enjoying it too, all that stiffness in their shoulders and the frowns on their faces vanishing a minute into your session. And though a lot of what you did could be described as sexual in nature, you never actually had sex with anyone, keeping things as professional as can be. In a weird way, all of it felt more like a therapy session than stereotypical sex work.
But, as with everything else, even your little side gig had to come to an end a little less than a year later. Because while everything was fun and paid more than enough, you really couldn't see yourself doing this work long-term. Even with just a handful of clients, eventually, taking care of them started to take a mental toll on you. You tried to separate work from personal life, you really did, but as time went on and you got to know them a bit more personally, it was just not possible anymore. Even outside of your dominatrix persona, you felt burdened with each client's struggles and stories, eventually overwhelmed to the point of quitting.
And so, after a few weeks of careful consideration, you finally sent out your goodbye letters to all of them.
Well, all of them except one.
Jeong Yunho was one of the last clients to request your services, sparing him your initial awkwardness when you were just starting out. The first thing you noticed about him was his age - in comparison to your other clients, you were surprised to learn he was just three years older than you. The next thing was his profession. Despite his relatively young age, he had already established himself as the local manager of one of the biggest accounting firms in the country, earning him both a nice sum of money as well as unbearable loads of stress.
Which is exactly what brought him to you.
Unlike your other clients, Yunho didn't overload you with random bits of his tragic past and complaints about his depressing marriage. No, no, his case was much simpler than that.
"I don't know," Yunho shrugged nonchalantly at your question, letting you tuck him into bed, "I get really stressed from making all the big decisions at work and I love powerful women. It just felt natural to combine the two."
Somehow, it was exactly that reasoning that had made you keep him even months after quitting.
You didn't tell him he was the only one left, though. Didn't want to make it weird or make him think there was something deeper to your decision. Your dynamic was perfect just the way it was, and despite its deep and stable foundations, you still didn't dare risk breaking it in any way.
Another thing that set Yunho apart were his requests. Unlike your other clients, his preferences had stayed pretty much the same since the first time you'd talked to him. He liked it when you visited his apartment instead of just some random hotel, and when you wore clothes that could pass as everyday attire rather than the stereotypical leather and latex. His scenes were nothing short of domestic, either. You always felt like a husband from the 50s, coming home to his loving and generous wife after a long day of work (classes) and letting her shower him with affection and praise.
Much like today, as you yet again found yourself on an all-too-familiar doorstep. It had been a few weeks since your last visit, and you had to admit, you'd really missed Yunho during that time. The longer pause wasn't intentional on either side, mind you. It was just a case of his busy schedule clashing with your finals week and the mandatory week-long recuperative period that followed. Now that you were back, however, you couldn't help the small smile on your lips, looking forward to whatever awaited you inside.
Not to mention this visit would mark your first anniversary with Yunho as your client (though you couldn't dwell on that too much in order to keep those incessant butterflies in your stomach at bay).
You didn't have to knock or ring the doorbell. Instead, you fished out your very own key that Yunho had given you a few weeks back. A sign of his trust and how welcome you'd always be in his home, as he'd described it.
Any other potential thoughts were quickly halted, though, as the door suddenly swung open, revealing a very excited-looking Yunho.
"You're here!" He exclaimed excitedly, flashing you a big grin. He stood like that for a second, just watching you in what appeared to be awe before suddenly straightening up again and stepping to the side. "Oh, right, sorry. Come in!"
You let out a small chuckle at his antics, an undeniable warmth blooming in your chest at the mere sight of him.
The next steps were pretty much automatic at this point. First, Yunho helped you remove your coat and hung it up for you. Then, he knelt down, letting you lean on his shoulder for support while he slipped your heels off and neatly set them aside.
"Good boy," you cooed enthusiastically, moving your hand up from his shoulder to ruffle his hair slightly. "Always so happy to see me, hm? Are you all ready for tonight or should I go wait in the living room?"
He quickly shook his head at the suggestion. "No, no, it's okay! Everything should be ready, me included. Oh, and I made you your favorite today, just how you like it! You know the one, the- the..."
You watched him try to finish his thought, but it was too late. In just a few moments, Yunho's eyes glazed over the same way you'd witnessed many times before. He was still present, yet his gaze grew a bit distant, retreating into himself to adjust to the sudden change. A change he clearly needed a lot, considering all it took for him to slip into subspace was the small ritual he'd always done to welcome you into his home.
But just as quickly as his voice trailed off and his eyes lost focus, he snapped back to reality, almost startled by the sudden clarity in his mind.
And there it was. All of his personal and work-related worries had been set aside, making his head feel almost overwhelmingly light and empty in comparison to his day-to-day state.
"What is..." He began, making you follow his line of sight, "what's that?"
A fond smile spread across your lips at the innocent curiosity in his eyes, realizing he was looking at the gift bag in your hand.
"Just a small gift I got for you, Puppy," you spoke softly, watching his eyes widen.
"Wait, for me?!" He asked excitedly, though you could sense a hint of uncertainty in his voice as if he didn't dare believe it just yet.
"Yes, hun, for you," you confirmed, unable to stop yourself from ruffling his hair again with your free hand. "But we'll get to that later, okay? How about you show me what you cooked for us tonight first?"
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It didn't surprise you to find out Yunho had already eaten before you arrived. Sometimes, if he was still lucid enough, he'd eat alongside you and chat about random things that came to mind. Usually, though, he'd just eat in advance so that he could fully relax and focus on you only.
You sat at the small dining table, zeroed in on the delicious dish in front of you. Over time, as Yunho began cooking for you more and more frequently as a show of gratitude, you noticed a considerable improvement in his skills. Not that he was bad before, of course not, but now? It almost felt illegal to be paid for your services in both money and food this good.
In Yunho's eyes, though, it was all worth it. The time he'd spend cooking for you helped him ease into the scene, in a way. Even just preparing all this for you felt extremely calming, knowing how much you'd always compliment him and how appreciative you were.
Much like right now, as he sat on the floor next to your chair, cheek resting against your thigh. His eyes were closed as you ran your hand through his silky hair, muttering small words of praise every now and then. This part of your evenings was one of his absolute favorites, as he truly got to just think about nothing. No work or family issues could reach him here. All he had to do was just lean against you and focus on your soft voice and loving touch.
Sometimes (not that he'd ever admit it), when he couldn't sleep at night and felt extra lonely, he'd try petting his hair just like you always did. He'd try to think about your words of praise to force out all the negative thoughts clouding his mind. And yet, it could never compare to the real thing. The warmth of your fingertips just felt different and he could never quite replicate your voice in his head for it to be satisfying enough.
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After a while of not thinking at all, Yunho liked to talk. A lot.
While he cleaned up in the kitchen, you let yourself get comfortable on his couch, propping your back up with some extra pillows since you knew you'd be here a while. Like usual, you'd put on a skirt today too, knowing it was the most convenient option considering what was in store for the two of you.
A minute or two later, Yunho emerged from the kitchen, the content smile on his lips spreading even wider at the sight of you. Without an ounce of hesitance, he walked up to the couch, looming over you with his tall self for just a second before dropping down to his knees again.
This, too, was one of Yunho's interesting, distinct traits. Whenever he could, he'd find himself on the ground, looking up at you with nothing but utter devotion.
"People always marvel at how tall I am," Yunho muttered, nuzzling his face into your hand while you finished your meal. "And it's really flattering, don't get me wrong! It's just that... sometimes, I also want to feel small, you know? Even if it means I have to literally kneel down in front of someone."
"So? How have you been?" Yunho began, flashing you a bright smile. As tentatively as always, his hands reached for your left foot, giving you enough time to stop him (even though you never did). "I want to hear everything."
You groaned. "Ugh, don't even get me started. Remember the professor I told you about last time and how he can never grade our papers on time? Guess what? We're still waiting! I swear we've collectively sent him like a hundred emails already and he's still acting like he doesn't see them."
Yunho hums thoughtfully at your words, brows furrowing as he keeps massaging your leg, going up to your calf now. "That really sucks, I'm sorry. I'm sure it's gonna be fine, though. He'll probably be more lenient because of the delay, not to mention you always ace all your classes anyways."
Your leg involuntarily jolted as he grazed a particularly ticklish spot, making him giggle. "Thanks, I really hope so too," you replied, trying to stay focused despite his skilled hands. "It's still nothing in comparison to our dorms, though."
Yunho shot you an inquisitive look, urging you to keep going.
"I mean, it's nothing too shocking, they're just raising the rent again for the second time this year. I really shouldn't be surprised at this point, but just- I wish they were at least honest about being greedy instead of making up random excuses as to why we have to pay even more outrageous prices than before."
"You know I'd love to help you with that if you want-"
"Puppy," you warned in a stern voice, making him immediately hush and drop his head. "We've talked about this, remember? You already pay me more than enough, I can't ask you for any more than that. Besides, the rent thing is an issue of principle, not finances."
"I know," Yunho sighed, halting his movements. "I just want you to be happy and pursue your dreams without having to worry about things like money."
"Yuyu," you cooed, leaning down to tuck his hair behind his ear. "I know you want to help, but please believe me when I say you're already doing more than enough. Not just because of the money, but because of your company in general, okay? I always look forward to spending time with you and I'm really thankful we get to meet like this. Seeing you happy makes me happier than any sum of money you could possibly offer."
There was silence for a moment as Yunho took your words in, still gently holding onto your foot to stay grounded. But even with his head dropped down, you could see his lips begin to tremble, fighting back tears.
It had been a while since he'd got to talk to someone so openly and vulnerably. To just say whatever was on his mind without fearing it would be somehow used against him later. To be appreciated so genuinely without any ulterior motives from the other side.
Sniffling quietly, his hands resumed their work, taking hold of your other leg to massage it as well.
"Thank you, Miss," he said in a mere whisper, afraid his voice would break if he spoke any louder.
"Of course, Yu," you muttered back. "You'll always be my good boy, always," you reassured him lovingly, giving him a playful nudge with your now-free foot. The effect was immediate as a small smile spread across his lips, lighting up his teary eyes again as he looked up at you adoringly.
Oh, how he'd missed you.
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After a good while of just talking about anything and everything that came to mind, the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. Yunho's hands rested on your shins while you pet his head on your thighs. His breathing had evened out over time, and you could see the way his eyelids were beginning to grow heavy. It was time to sleep.
This was usually considered the end of your sessions, where you'd help him get dressed for bed and caress his hair until he'd doze off. He always felt really sad when you left and he hated going to bed alone, so this solved both of those issues. Besides, you had to admit that the sight of someone as overworked as him sleeping so peacefully did something for your soul as well.
"Alright, Puppy," you began softly, making Yunho lift his head up, "let's get you to bed, shall we?"
Ever the good boy, he gave you a sleepy but content nod.
Happy with his agreement, you were about to stand up and lead him to the bedroom, but quickly paused in your tracks.
The softest kissing sounds echoed through the living room, one for each of your knees.
Yunho quickly sensed your tension and looked up at you in confusion, which then turned into alarm.
"I-I'm so sorry Miss, I should have asked for permission!" He rambled in panic, leaning back on his haunches to give you as much space as he could. "I guess I spaced out a little too much and forgot myself for a moment, it happened without me meaning to, I'm really sorry-"
"Yuyu," you interrupted him gently, fighting the smile on your lips, "relax, it's okay."
Yet another thing you really cherished about the man before you. No matter what, he always asked for permission when trying something new. Sometimes, he'd even ask with things you had already agreed on in previous sessions, just to be sure. So to see him get flustered the one time he accidentally got too carried away and forgot to do so? It was strangely endearing, to be honest.
Had you had any suspicions that this wasn't a mere accident, that this was simply Yunho's way of "sneakily" pushing your boundaries, your reaction would have been much more different. You weren't afraid of stopping a session mid-way through and banning your client on the spot; you'd done it before.
But seeing the genuine panic written all over the man's face, clearly scared of upsetting you? He was nothing short of adorable, looking like a small, frightened animal.
"But- but I," Yunho tried again, but stopped at your firm gaze.
"I said it's okay, you're not in trouble," you repeated. "...Besides, it was actually quite cute. Maybe I'll even let you do it again in the future."
Oh God.
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After calming your precious puppy down, you walked him down the hall to his bedroom (well, you walked; he decided to crawl instead - after shyly getting your permission, of course).
"Think you can change yourself, hun?" You asked him as he sat down on the bed, patiently awaiting further instructions.
While he always tried to be good for you and not feel entitled to anything, he visibly deflated at your words. "Why? I mean- I definitely can if you want me to, but..."
It took all your willpower not to cave at his puppy eyes.
Alas, you had more important things to sort out.
"The gift, remember?"
And that was all you needed to say for Yunho to immediately jump into action.
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The second time you entered his bedroom, this time with the gift bag in hand, Yunho was tucked in bed and ready to go. His clothes were neatly folded on a nearby chair, exchanged for a set of comfy-looking pajamas. He perked up at the sight of you, sitting up and making more space for you by the edge.
"Ready for your present, Pup?" You asked giddily, wanting to hear him say it out loud despite the obvious curiosity and excitement in his eyes.
"Yes, please!" Yunho beamed at you as you sat down next to him, trying to resist peeking into the bag before he was properly allowed to.
But as you finally handed him the bag, his features turned sad, a small pout on his face.
"What is it, Yu?" You asked, worried at the sudden change in tone.
He let out a deep sigh, cheeks warming. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything back. I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate and the internet didn't give me a clear answer either so I panicked. I hope it doesn't look like I don't appreciate your services or anything, that's not it at all, I swear!"
You let out an amused chuckle. "Sweetheart, I'd never think that about you. You already show me enough gratitude as is. Besides, this wasn't even supposed to be a gift exchange in the first place. I just saw something online and it made me think of you so I bought it. I'm not expecting anything in return."
Whether you said something after that or not, Yunho wasn't sure. His mind had already stopped at the mention of you thinking about him outside of work.
Sure, he did that all the time when it came to you, using you as a source of comfort to cling onto whenever he had an especially hard time at work. Whenever he had to stay in his office late into the night, or heard his subordinates gossip about him, only to give him smiles and compliments the second they noticed him, thoughts of you were the only thing that could ground him again. And even when he was doing alright, he still liked to think about you, reminiscing on your past sessions and looking forward to the next. But to have you do the same with him?! Yunho's heart felt like it would leap out of his chest if he didn't calm down soon.
"...Well? Aren't you gonna open it?" You nudged his thigh with your hand, a playful glint in your eyes. "You looked so excited before, don't you want to see what's inside?"
Yunho didn't need any further enticing, flashing you a big grin before he finally reached into the bag. Inside, he found a pretty, dusty pink box with an unknown brand name embossed into its center.
With shaky hands, he lifted the lid.
"What do you think?" You asked, nervously scanning his face.
Yunho was frozen, stuck staring at the custom-made leather collar. Attached to it was a silver tag gleaming in the dim bedroom lights, the word "YUYU" engraved into it staring right back at him.
"Sweetheart, are you okay?" You spoke again, trying to hide your growing concern. "We can totally return it if you don't like it, I won't be-"
All the words died in your throat as Yunho suddenly lifted his head, looking right into your eyes as his bottom lip trembled, fighting back tears. The second he spoke, however, they spilled over anyway.
"It's perfect."
"Oh, Puppy," you cooed as a sob ripped through him, bringing him into a tight embrace. The anxiety weighing down on your chest immediately dropped at his words, making you sigh in relief. His hands clutched at your shirt, almost desperately so, wetting your shoulder as he sniffled in your hold.
You stayed like that for a moment or two, soft snivels and affectionate whispers filling the room.
"I- I've never," Yunho began, but quickly stopped again, hiding his face in the crook of your neck some more. It was right then that you'd noticed the unusual proximity between the two of you, never staying this close for more than a second or two when he occasionally hugged you goodbye instead of you tucking him in. But now, it felt as though you were enveloped in him, his comforting warmth and light cologne all around you.
"It's okay, hun," you encouraged him gently, "take your time."
Yunho exhaled heavily, as if steeling himself for whatever he was going to say next.
"It's just- this is everything I've ever wanted but never actually dared wish for, and now that it's real, now that you're real, I don't even know what to say."
Reluctantly pulling away from your embrace, he reached back to retrieve a few tissues from the bedside table. "Every day, I have so many people relying on me, so many people waiting for me to make a mistake so that they could take my place, have to deal with so many awful clients while acting like none of it affects me, and it's just- it's so hard. I've always wanted to have someone who I could be vulnerable with, who I could confide in without fearing they'd use it against me later, but it always seemed too good for me. And then you appeared, and you've made my life so much more bearable, made me look forward to every day because it meant I'd get to see you soon again. No amount of words or money could ever match just how thankful I am for you, seriously."
"Yunho..."
Stunned by the sudden confession, you silently sat and processed his words. Yunho just smiled at your shocked expression, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I know this is a lot to unload on you so suddenly, so please don't feel like you have to respond to any of this right now. We can just brush past this and never discuss it again, I won't be upset. It's just something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and seeing you care for me so honestly made me finally tell you, I guess. Like I said, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but just know that if there's anything, and I mean anything, that I could do for you, just say it and I'll do it. Even if it's something small, like confiding in me the way I do with you, I'm always here for you."
You couldn't help but chuckle at his offer, unconvinced. "I'm not really sure you want that, Yu. All of my problems are pretty repetitive and boring, not to mention how annoying and stubborn I can get when stressed. Wouldn't want to break the illusion you have of me, you know?"
...A hand gingerly grabbed yours.
"And what if I tell you that's exactly what I want?" Yunho challenged, a more genuine, playful smile on his lips this time. "I'm not stupid, Y/N. I know you're much more than the persona you put on when you visit me. I want to know the real you, good and bad included - if you'll let me, that is. You already have the keys to the apartment, don't you? My home is open to you anytime, even outside of our sessions."
Just as Yunho had said, this was a lot to unpack on the spot.
And yet, somehow, deep down in your heart, you already knew your answer to his confession, even if you didn't fully want to admit to it just yet.
"I mean," you began hesitantly, mulling everything over as carefully as you could, "there's no harm in trying it, right?"
Yunho's eyes lit up at your words, looking at you hopefully.
"Besides, I come here so often it feels like a second home anyway."
He gave you a thoughtful nod. "Yeah, same here."
"What do you mean?" You asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
"Exactly what I said before - you." His grip on your hand tightened, the other pointing to the collar sitting in front of him. "I've found my second home in you."
Silence.
It felt as though the Earth had stopped spinning for a second. Everything around you faded into nothingness, leaving you to stare into his eyes.
You don't know for sure how his lips ended up on yours, but judging by the surprised noise coming from him, it must have been you who'd initiated the kiss. Not a second later, however, he replied with matching enthusiasm, resting his palm against your thigh to lean in even closer.
In spite of every cell in your body screaming at you to stay, you eventually pulled away, giving the two of you a chance to breathe. Yunho's gaze was nothing short of reverent, looking at you like you've hung the stars in the sky.
"So? Would you like to try on your present?"
Yunho refused to believe any of this was real.
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No matter how much you tried to convince him to take it off, Yunho refused to sleep without his collar. Looking at the way it pressed into his neck when he lay down, you knew there was no way it could be comfortable to sleep in. And yet, Yunho insisted that it was fine, that it actually felt nice despite the way it was smothering his Adam's apple. In the end, you had no option but to concede, tucking your overgrown puppy into bed with the collar still around his neck.
But as you were about to get up to turn the lights off, a hand grabbed yours to stop you. You looked back down at Yunho, being met with his signature pout and teary eyes.
"I know this is a lot to ask, especially considering how much I've asked of you today already, but... stay? Please?"
You gave him a long look, considering your options. Or pretending to consider them, rather, since there was no way you'd be able to deny him anything right now.
"Only because you've been such a sweet boy today, okay?" You said, trying to sound reluctant even though you weren't fooling anyone.
You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom, boldly taking one of Yunho's sleep shirts with you to change into.
Despite his eyelids growing heavier by the second, Yunho bravely fought to keep them up until you'd arrive, sighing in relief when the bathroom door opened again.
No more words were needed as you plopped down next to him, joining him under the blankets before moving to rest your head on his chest. Despite no visible reaction from him, you could hear his racing heartbeat below you, making a soft smile creep up on your lips.
Within the next two minutes, you heard his heart eventually calm down again, breaths evening out as he fell asleep. It took you a while longer to follow, mind struggling to relax with so many thoughts racing through it. What did all of today mean for your relationship? How professional will you be able to stay with him after this? You should probably tell him you haven't had any other clients for months now, shouldn't you.
No use worrying about it now, you suppose. All of those concerns can be solved only once Yunho wakes up again. And until then, you have no choice but to enjoy whatever it is that you have right now, no matter how ambiguous.
Snuggling further into his chest, you finally doze off as well.
Whatever this is, it's perfect.
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taglist: @justconniez @domribo @another-random-fanfic-blog
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Thank you for reading! And remember, feedback is always very appreciated! <3
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a-d-nox · 4 months ago
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astro hypothesis: what's your ideal bedroom like?
once upon a time (a year ago) i spoke of using your house rulers to deep dive into the story of the houses. i did a hypothesis about money and another about careers - but what about your home? for that take a look at your 4h and the persona chart of its ruler (ex: my 4h is in gemini, i will be looking at my mercury persona chart NOT my ic persona (thats more family and childhood dynamics in my opinion)).
today i want to focus on somewhere critical to all of us - our bedroom. you can look at the 12h and/or the moon in this chart to get a better idea of what your ideal bedroom looks like or should be like to feel most rested and comfortable.
why?
the 12h rules over solitude (where you might go to escape everyone else in your household), the subconscious (where we supposedly go in deep sleep), etc.
the moon rules over comfort (what we find comfort in), the subconscious (which connects again to deep sleep and dreaming), cycles and rhythms (hi sleep cycle and circadian rhythm), etc.
so here are some observations of what i believe to be important to a room based on these factors in your 4h ruler's persona chart.
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a capricorn (10°, 22°) moon / 12h saturn / capricorn 12h / moon aspecting saturn person likely wants a minimal room. they don't what a lot of clutter - if their room is cluttered they might be experiencing a lot of waking/life stress/anxiety that is effecting their sleep. they like neutral and natural colors in a room - beiges, "agreeable grey", dark green, and dark blues in particular allows them to feel calm and as though they are able to relax. arctic white paint or cool white light may trigger them into feeling like they are in work mode instead of relax mode. they seek quality furniture that is timeless - they don't want to constantly have to replace the pieces they have in their room because they don't last or no longer fit the style. they don't want to have to think at the end of the day that something broke or they hate a piece because it doesn't fit the trend anymore and they now have to replace it. they don't want another thing they have to do, they just want to crash. organization is key - everything in their room should have a spot. they want everything that belongs in there to have a place (books are organized by author/series, clothing is color/season organized, glasses have a spot on a side table, jewelry has an organizer that rarely changes, etc). there is often a very refined and elegant feeling to their room. the sheets have a classic design (they are white or white and grey), the mirror is elegant yet classic, the bed is simple yet fits and fills the space well, etc. and most importantly room darkening curtains and lots of blankets (no capricorn/saturn person wants to be awakened by the sun or because they are too cold at night)!!!
a gemini (3°, 15°, 27°) moon / 12h mercury / gemini 12h / moon aspecting mercury person might have a rather eclectic style in their room. it might feel like they are testing out a look or like they have a lot of different vibes that don't necessarily fit one another. color finds its way into this room no matter what and it is often multiple colors at once that draw a person's attention. its very strange because this space is never just a sleep space for them often its multi-functional in some way shape or form like they have the ability to have a sitting space for others... could be a chair or a window seat or a desk... speaking of desks - books, vinyl, cds, gadgets, etc are a big part of the gemini/mercury vibes in a space. often their media have a spotlight moment in a room. lastly this space has an air of awareness in it - its not totally sleepy vibes, you know for sure when you see this space its not just for sleep. this is a place of study, reading, music listening, etc. it might just feel like not much sleep occurs in the space at all!
leo (5°, 17°, 29°) moon / 12h sun / leo 12h / moon aspecting sun rooms are warm and inviting. there are likely gold elements or warm paint colors used in the room. luxury is a must - the bed is likely memory foam or plush - the pillows are probably hotel/high quality. the comforter is down feathers and/or a fluffy/fuzzy blanket is present. it is very likely that stuffed animals are present too or at least one that is too adorable not to be there. there is some sort of central piece in this room - a giant mirror, a big art piece over the bed, a grand wall of books, etc. something in the room is guaranteed to always get a compliment from people who peak in during a house tour. it is also rather common especially in younger years for these people to keep their awards/trophies on display in their room as it fills them with a great sense of pride. windows are very important to this person's bedroom too as they tend to enjoy natural light when they can get it.
aries (1°, 13°, 25°) moon / 12h mars / aries 12h / moon aspecting mars people love a bold look in their room. its the energy of platform beds, industrial metal frames, etc. if they can use an "aggressive" color (red, orange, yellow, etc) in a bedroom they will... however they like a modern and sleek look despite their bold color schemes. they also like a minimal room - the bedroom is for their bed - point, blank, period. it's about having the essentials nothing more nothing less. they won't being using decorative pillows they have to remove every night or a decorative blanket that just hangs over their footboard. heavens forbid a decorative ladder with a decorative blanket that's not for use but for the eye. if they can't use it, they don't need or want it in the space it will just make them annoyed and cause them to feel like everything is in the way of them getting to the relax/wind-down portion of their day. now strangely enough, they often workout in their bedroom, so it wouldn't be shocking to find a pull up bar in the doorway or a peloton bike in the corner of the room. and 10/10 they will be getting up using an alarm - but it is rather unlikely they will need multiple alarms to make them get out of their bed in the morning.
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likely more to come on home hypotheses, as i look to make renovations to my own home despite/because of being creatively burnt out. thank the heavens for astrology doing the leg work.
-a.d.
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harmonicakai · 6 months ago
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Be Around Me
Part 1 of the "Love is Embarrassing" series
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Pairing: Gyuvin x Reader, Ricky x Reader (one-sided), Haobin crumbs, Jiwoong x Reader teeny tiny crumbs 
Summary: Gyuvin is the type of guy to get flustered over everything, but little does he know that you secretly think it makes him even cuter.
Tropes: basketball star!gyuvin, journalist!reader, college AU, basketball!zb1, frat!zb1, secret admirer, fluff, slow burn, crack, unrequited love, mutual pining, gyuvin is a LOSER
Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings: Ricky is annoying lol, mentions of masturbation and sex (mdni!!!)
A/N: y’all will have pry zb1 college basketball au from my cold dead hands!!!!!!!! also for once in my life, y/n is not super insecure we cheered!!
FIC INSPIRED SPOTIFY PLAYLIST <3
“It's obvious she's so out of reach And I'm finding it hard 'cause She makes me feel, makes me feel Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard” —Try Hard, 5 Seconds of Summer
On the court, Kim Gyuvin is the star player of the Wakefield Roses. With his long limbs, he handles the ball with ease, capturing the hearts of everybody in the crowd every time he grins after scoring a basket.
Off the court, he’s an awkward mess. Combine that with the fact that you, the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, are usually the one covering games for the school news, and he’s a goner.
As if it isn’t hard enough for him to make eye contact with the camera, he also has to make sure he doesn’t stare too hard at your shiny hair or glossy lips. His teammates would never let him live it down if he was caught being an absolute creep on video.
What started out as a little crush has grown into a deep admiration. He reads every article that you put out into the school newspaper, sometimes even cutting out the ones you’ve written about him and his team. Everybody makes fun of him for being too scared to just ask you out.
He’s never been one to flirt with girls, but the way you make conversations so easy during interviews, even when he’s stumbling over his words, makes him feel at ease around you. Still, he wonders how much of it is just your journalist persona versus you actually liking him.
Sharing a double with Ricky means he gets exiled a lot in the name of his roommate getting laid. Sometimes, you come back from getting your morning coffee and catch him sleeping on one of the lounge’s couches.
One morning, when your arms are full of pastries that you intend to hoard in your dorm for the upcoming week, you spot him curled up yet again on your way back to your room. 
Without much thought, you stop to leave a muffin and a little note next to it on the table in front of him, conveniently forgetting to sign your name.
It began with cutesy but vague things, like “breakfast for a champion,” but quickly escalated as soon as Gyuvin started leaving notes back for you. 
After a couple exchanges, he even wrote that you didn’t need to be leaving him food at all and that he just wanted to know who you were. Truthfully, you had a really big crush on Gyuvin, but didn’t everybody?
Despite being a bit camera shy, he was always so sweet before and after your interviews, doing his best to make small talk and smiling his smile that could make anybody swoon. 
Plus, you’ve seen how much more comfortable he is with other people, even the cheerleaders, who are all super pretty. He must just be really nice.
So, you continue to leave the notes unsigned, despite each one growing in flirtation. You like the thrill of being mysterious, but you’re mostly just scared of getting rejected since he’s never given you a reason to think he likes you back.
It isn’t until Ricky catches you one morning, a sly grin on his face when he sees you leaving a whole stack of notes on the table.
When you lock eyes with Gyuvin’s roommate, you know the jig is up. Surely, he’ll tell him it’s been you all along.
“Y/N,” Ricky nods when you approach him, his arms crossed. “I have to say, I had my suspicions.”
“Listen, Ricky, I would prefer if we could keep this between us.”
“Gyuvin’s been going on and on about some secret admirer for weeks now. It’s cruel that you won’t tell him who you are.”
“He’s welcome to stop writing back if he doesn’t want to,” you shrug, although it would probably devastate you if that actually happened.
“Oh, trust me, he wants to. Especially if he found out it was you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that every time he finishes an interview with you, he might always run home and lock himself in our bathroom because you get him so riled up. If you know what I mean.”
Your eyes go wide at the revelation. Ricky is surely just messing with you. “That’s—that’s not funny, Ricky. You shouldn’t joke about those kinds of things.”
“I’m not joking,” he chuckles. “Listen, Zeta Beta Omega is throwing a party tonight and the whole team will be there. You should come.”
“I don’t do parties,” you scoff. “Why would you even want me there?”
“Because maybe after a few drinks, you and Gyuvin won’t be so scared to tell each other how you feel. Then you guys can knock off this silly game and he can stop whining about not knowing who his mystery girl is.”
“And go back to whining about how all his roommate does is kick him out every night so he can fuck whoever he lays his eyes on?”
“Exactly. See, Y/N, you get me,” he practically purrs. “So, you show up looking all pretty and talk to my poor, lovesick roomie, and I won’t spill your little secret. Deal?”
“Ugh, fine, I guess. I can’t believe you’re blackmailing me. Deal.”
“Trust me, it’s for your own good, sweetheart.”
You cringe at the pet name. “Is this how you talk to everybody?”
“Yes. Why? Is it working? Are you going to start leaving me notes too?”
“Enjoy the rest of your morning, Ricky. I’ll see you later,” you say, walking past him. Even if he’s annoying, it’s genuinely impressive how he managed to brush off every insult you threw his way.
“See you, Y/N.” You don’t even have to look back at him to know that he winked as he said that.
—————-
Gyuvin knows that staying up all night waiting around for his mystery girl would be an invasion of privacy. At least he thinks the person who keeps leaving him baked goods and notes is a girl. Or maybe he’s just being hopeful that it’s you.
He’s never seen your handwriting before, but he’s been close enough to smell your perfume and he swears he can catch hints of it wafting off the sticky notes.
In fact, he’s started looking forward to Ricky kicking him out of their shared bedroom just because he knows he’ll be waking up to the sweetest surprise when he sleeps in the lounge.
Tonight’s party should be a good distraction from all of the wondering. Maybe, if he’s drunk enough, Ricky will be more embarrassing than alluring and Gyuvin will get to sleep in his own bed. Still, he can’t get this morning’s notes off his mind. 
You’ve left him clues, little doodles of your favorite things. Your coffee order, favorite color, favorite animal, and so on. He’s hoping you’ll be at tonight’s party so he can see if you mention any of the stuff drawn out, but you never show up to these kinds of things.
That was before Ricky got involved. You stood outside the ZBO frat house wearing your worst sneakers and a baby pink minidress, as suggested by one of your suitemates.
If only you didn’t show up by yourself. There were a few familiar faces from class, and of course, the entire basketball team, but nobody you were really friends with. All you could focus on was how sticky the floor was and how much you needed a drink.
“Hi,” you say, finally making your way over to the bartender. It’s the team’s captain, Hanbin. “Just give me whatever tastes the best.”
“One rum punch it is,” he smiles, his whisker dimples making your heart flutter. Why was everybody on the team good looking? “Y/N, right?”
“Yep,” you say, taking the plastic cup from him. “You’re Hanbin. You know, I’ve been meaning to interview you, but you always seem so busy with other things at games.”
“Don’t worry about it. It wouldn’t be nearly as cute as when you interview Gyuvin,” he laughs, eyeing the line of guests waiting for their drinks. “I’ve got a job to do, but I’ll see you around, okay?”
“Thanks for the drink,” you say, holding it up in a sort of cheer before walking away. You take a sip and savor its sweetness, the liquor’s flavor blending in perfectly to the juice. Hanbin’s words stick with you. Were you and Gyuvin cute together?
Sure, he’s so tall that he practically towers over you, but he refuses to ever make eye contact and always keeps his replies so short and polite. Then again, he sure seems to write a lot in the notes that he doesn’t know are going to you.
For a second, you start to consider that you might actually have a chance with him, until you spot him with a beautiful girl touching his arm and whispering something in his ear. Before you can mope for too long, someone is tapping you on the shoulder.
“There you are,” a familiar voice calls over the music. You turn to see Ricky grinning at you, his hair looking almost white under the lights. “You look good.”
“Thanks, I guess,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest to prevent him from checking you out any further. He glances past you at his roommate.
“Don’t worry about her,” he assures you. You don’t know whether or not to believe him. “Gyuvin has never taken a girl home from these parties, let alone kissed one.”
That’s a relief. “Don’t you have a hook-up to hunt down?” you ask Ricky. He cocks an eyebrow at you, sipping his drink.
“Oh, Y/N. I keep my girls on speed dial,” he chuckles. You cringe at his playboy persona and for once in his life, Ricky is embarrassed. He shuts his mouth, hoping you can’t see him blush.
“Wow,” you say, tilting your head at him. “Don’t tell me young and rich, tall and handsome Shen Ricky can actually feel shame. I really wish I had a cameraman with me right now.”
“Like I said, it works on most people,” he attempts to reason. “You’re just immune to my charms, I guess.”
“Guess so,” you smirk, downing the rest of your drink. You glance behind your shoulder to see Gyuvin still talking to that girl, then back at Ricky, who’s deep in thought.
“Do you want to meet the rest of the team?” he asks, surprising you. You give a slight nod, and that’s all he needs to see before grabbing your wrist and pulling you through the crowd.
At first, Ricky lingers as you make small talk with Matthew, Taerae, and Gunwook, and explains to you that Yujin is actually at home because he’s still in high school. You feel like a horrible journalist—have you been so preoccupied with Gyuvin that you didn’t notice there was a literal child on the team?
By now, Ricky’s abandoned you to go find something, or someone, more entertaining. He’s dropped you off with Jiwoong, the oldest player, who is as aloof as he is annoyingly handsome. The way he eyes you makes your stomach do cartwheels, and you’ve had enough to drink that you can’t see the harm in flirting with a cute boy.
He’s spewing some bullshit about meditating when you cut him off. “I like your hair,” you blurt out, catching him off guard. He turns and smiles at you for the first time since you started talking.
“You do?” he asks, running a hand through it. “I think it’s a little long. I might get a haircut soon.”
“Keep it like that,” you say, not taking your eyes off of him. “It looks good.”
Jiwoong is grinning now, but he remembers that you’re Gyuvin’s crush, and it would be totally wrong to kiss you no matter how badly he wants to. He eyes the crowd, searching for someone to save him from the tension. 
“Hao!” he says, grabbing a boy passing by and pulling him into the conversation. He looks familiar, but he’s certainly no basketball player. “Y/N, this is Zhang Hao. He’s our equipment manager. I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”
“Hi, Y/N,” Hao says, clearly caught off guard. “You’re the one who does the interviews, right?”
“That’s me,” you confirm. Jiwoong’s departure right when you thought he was going to kiss you was beyond bizarre. “I didn’t realize how many people knew me.”
“You’re basically a celebrity to the team,” Hao laughs. “They all think you’re pretty.”
“Makes sense,” you smile, sipping on your third drink of the night. “I am, in fact, very pretty.”
“Agreed. So, which one do you have your eye on?” he asks, leaning in to hear you better. “Or should I guess?”
“Go ahead and guess,” you say, eager to know what he thinks.
Hao takes a second to gather his thoughts. “Well, it’s clear that you’re into Gyuvin based on the way you giggle at his seriously unfunny jokes, but you were also just eye fucking Jiwoong. Then again, wasn’t Ricky dragging you around earlier by the hand?”
“By the wrist,” you correct him. “And yes, I do like Gyuvin. But he’s been talking to some other girl the whole night.”
“He only has eyes for you,” Hao says immediately. This is the second time you’ve heard this tonight, but the first where it’s coming from a trustworthy source.
“And you?” you ask in return, shifting the conversation onto him. “Which one do you have a crush on?”
Hao’s eyes widen. “I–I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not—I don’t—”
“Hao,” you cut him off. “You’ve glanced at Hanbin at least six times since this conversation started.”
He swallows, knowing he’s been caught. “It’s that obvious, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Why don’t you go talk to him?”
“We talk all the time,” Hao mutters, looking down at his shoes. “I’m basically his personal assistant.”
“Do you talk about anything other than basketball?”
“No.”
“Do you even like basketball?”
“...No.”
“Hao,” you say, gripping him by the shoulders and turning him towards the drink station. “Go over there and get your man.”
—————-
As if it weren’t enough of a shock to Gyuvin that you actually showed up to a ZBO party, he’s had to spend all night watching you chat up the entire team except for him. 
They’ve no doubt let it slip to you that he has the biggest crush on you on campus, maybe even the entire world. But he’s way too nice to tell one of his classmates, who attends every game just to hold up a sign with his name on it, that he isn’t interested. 
That’s how he ended up nursing his drink with a tight lipped smile, listening to what’s-her-name ramble on about things that would be more interesting to probably anybody else, all while keeping an eye on you as you bounce around the party.
Your interaction with Jiwoong made him jealous beyond belief, and he makes a mental note that while he’s made his crush on you very clear to his teammates, you’re technically not his and free to flirt with whoever you want.
He watches as you grasp Hao and shake him, muttering some words of encouragement before sending him over to the bar. Finally, you’re alone again. It’s now or never.
“I have to go walk my dog,” Gyuvin lies, not even bothering to let the poor girl react before making his way over to you. You’re wearing pink, his secret admirer’s favorite color. Surely, it’s not just a coincidence. 
“Y/N,” he says a little too loud, startling you. You jump, accidentally knocking yourself into him. Both of your drinks go flying and suddenly, you’re covered in sticky red liquid. 
At this point, Gyuvin might as well just die alone. How did he manage to only spill his drink on you and not himself? He peers down at you, guilt written all over his face, as you take in what’s just happened.
“Here,” he says, reaching into his hoodie’s pocket and pulling out wadded tissues. “They’re clean, I promise. I have, uh, I’ve got allergies, so I carry around a ton.” 
He unfolds one and gently pats the liquid off of you without so much of a second thought. Your silence makes him panic even more, and he’s so focused on drying you off that he doesn’t even notice he’s basically rubbing the tissue on your cleavage.
Gyuvin freezes once he finally notices where his hand is, immediately pulling away and putting a good distance between the two of you. “I am so sorry. Holy shit, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not a pervert! Please don’t think I’m a pervert.”
“Gyuvin,” you finally say, your voice just as sweet as always. He’s pacing as much as he can with everybody packed in so tightly, his long legs taking tiny steps. “It’s okay. I don’t think you’re a pervert.”
He stops and looks down at you. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“Really,” you reassure him. “Although I might think you’re a klutz. Who knew Wakefield’s star basketball player was so clumsy off the court?”
“Technically, you bumped into me,” he asserts, his smile returning. “But you’re also the one who got soaked, so let’s just call things even.”
“Deal,” you agree. Sure, it’s fun when boys are obviously flirting with you, but the way Gyuvin has no clue what he’s doing is just so charming. It feels natural when you’re with him, a nice departure from the overused pickup lines and generic compliments that are usually thrown your way.
Gyuvin takes in your stained dress, the red punch seeping into the pink fabric like blood. You look straight out of a horror movie. 
“Here,” he says, shrugging off his varsity jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders before taking in the sight of you. “Wow. You look so…”
“Silly?” you answer, the expanse of material wrapped around you like a tent. 
“Cute. You look so cute.” Gyuvin meets your eyes for a split second before looking away again, his ears now feeling even hotter than when he saw you with Jiwoong. “I can get you a new shirt, if you want. My room isn’t far from here.”
“You want me to go with you to your room?” you giggle, enjoying how flustered you make him. Hearing his teammates talk about how much he likes you has taken a weight off your shoulders, and you don’t know how you ever thought he wasn’t into you before.
“No! Well, yes, but only if you want to. And I’m not using this as an excuse to bring you back to my room. I just know you like pink and I have this one pink shirt that shrunk in the wash and I think you’d look really good in it. Plus, I can start a load of laundry and get your dress all clean.”
This is the most you’ve ever heard him talk, his voice a few pitches higher than usual when he’s rambling. Plus, if he knows how much you like pink, he must be following your clues. “Let’s go to your room, then.” 
—————-
While Gyuvin’s side of the room is much neater than you expected, Ricky’s side looks weirdly perfect. Not a single thing is out of place, with every item labeled or color coordinated. You’re shocked that two basketball players can manage to keep such a small room so tidy.
“Sorry, it’s kind of a mess,” Gyuvin apologizes, moving to make his bed. “You can sit here.” 
“If this is what you think is messy, you don’t want to see my room,” you say, taking in all of the decorations. Usually, when you’re in a guy’s room, it’s all navy blue and manly movie posters, but Gyuvin’s walls are so colorful and covered in photos of his family and friends. 
One piece of paper catches your eye—the very first article you wrote about the basketball team. You scan his wall, catching more and more newspaper clippings, all penned by you. Gyuvin’s too busy putting things away and rustling through his drawers to notice you staring at them in awe.
“Here we go,” he calls out, turning and holding up a shrunken pink t-shirt and a pair of sweats. His grin fades as soon as he catches you reading one of your own articles, which have been on his wall for so long that he’s forgotten they’re even there. “Oh. Uh, please don’t think I’m a creep.”
“It’s not creepy. It’s sweet. They’re all about you, anyway,” you say, turning to take the shirt from him. It has a picture of a silly looking greyhound on the front of it.
“Right,” Gyuvin says, shrugging off the interaction. He pulls himself onto the bed next to you, sitting cross legged and making sure to leave a gap between you and him. “That’s my dog, Eumppappa.” 
“Eumppappa is an amazing name,” you muse, turning to smile at him. Your faces end up being so close that Gyuvin thinks his heart has stopped beating. In his attempt to scoot back, he ends up tumbling off of his bed.
“Fuck,” he says as he lands on the ground. You peer down from the lofted bed at his long limbs sprawled across the rug. If you didn’t think he was a complete loser before, you probably do now.
“Are you okay?” you call out, watching as he sits up and rubs his head.
“I’m good,” Gyuvin assures you, taking a breather before getting to his feet and heading towards the door. “I’m going to step out and let you change. Let me know when you’re decent.”
“Will do,” you smile, giving him a thumbs up. You strip your clothes off, throwing on the t-shirt and sweats and pulling the drawstring until you know they won’t fall off of you. “You can come back in, Gyuvin!”
He stumbles in, practically waiting with his body pressed against the door for the moment he could see you again. God, could you really not tell how much he liked you before tonight?
Gyuvin eyes you drowning in his clothes and he knows that he’d move earth and heaven if it meant that you’re who he got to wake up to for the rest of his life. 
“I’ll go throw this in the washer and then we can head back to the party,” he stammers, snapping out of his daydream and grabbing your dress. Your smile is so pretty right now, even after all of his awkwardness, that it takes everything in him not to get hard just looking at you.
By the time he gets back from the laundry room, you’ve decided you don’t want to go back to the party, especially not dressed like this.
“Oh,” Gyuvin says, disappointed that his time with you has been cut short by his clumsiness. “Do you want me to walk you back to your place?”
“I live down the hall,” you remind him. You hope he doesn’t realize you could’ve just as easily grabbed your own change of clothes.
“Right,” he grimaces. He knows that. He’s always trying to time leaving his room perfectly so that he runs into you on the way to class.
Just like whenever you interview Gyuvin, there’s an awkward silence, except this time it can’t be edited out. He’s back to looking everywhere in the room except at you.
“It’s not even midnight,” you say, glancing at your phone’s lockscreen. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Like, together?” Gyuvin asks in disbelief. You nod, an amused smirk on your face. “Duh, of course you meant together. Yeah, sure, let’s watch a movie.”
Moments later, you’re sitting in the dark with Gyuvin, your legs pulled close to your chest as you watch Amélie projected onto the wall above Ricky’s bed. 
Every once in a while, Gyuvin lets himself relax, his arm or his leg brushing against you by accident. After spending half of the film pulling away out of fear that he’s bothering you, he finally settles for having his fingers barely touching yours. 
“You know,” he starts, his eyes still locked on the movie. “I kind of have my own mystery going on right now.”
“Really?” you say, feigning shock. “About what?”
“Someone keeps leaving me notes when I sleep in the lounge. Sometimes treats, but mostly notes. They don’t sign their name, but today they left me some little doodles as clues and I’ve been trying to figure them out.”
The way you’re reacting makes his stomach turn. How could it be you when you have a look on your face that says you have no clue what he’s talking about?
“Well, I’ve been meaning to work on my investigative journalism. What if I helped you track your secret admirer down?”
If you aren’t going to fall for him, he’ll at least settle for being friends. “That’d be awesome, Y/N.” 
Suddenly, Ricky comes crashing into the dorm room, his lips attached to some girl’s face. He pulls away from her for a second, barely registering that you’re even there, before pulling out his wallet and throwing a couple hundred dollar bills at Gyuvin. “Get out. Now.”
Before you can protest, Ricky’s already unbuttoning his shirt, and you’ll gladly evacuate if it means you don’t have to watch whatever freaky shit is about to go down.
“I didn’t know he pays you to sleep in the lounge,” you laugh, your arms full of Gyuvin’s comforter as you walk down the hall. “With that kind of money, he could just buy an apartment.”
“He could,” Gyuvin starts, holding his pillow in one hand and the stack of notes—your notes—in the other. “But then he wouldn’t get the true college experience. Plus, he only throws money at me when it’s a last minute thing.”
“How much was that, anyway? Like $300?” you ask. He stops and takes out his wallet.
“$400. Pretty standard,” he shrugs, counting the bills. Your eyes widen at the total.
“Are you going to share?” you pout. “I got kicked out too.”
“You can have it,” he says, handing you the money, his brain short circuiting at the way you bat your eyelashes at him. You marvel at the crisp bills. “This is just another Friday night for me.”
“Okay, young and rich, tall and handsome Kim Gyuvin. Thanks for buying my dinner for the rest of the semester!” You don’t know this, but if you asked him to, Gyuvin would buy you whatever you wanted.
Before you can get down to helping him figure out the doodles, or throwing him off your trail, the two of you are fast asleep. Instead of the lounge’s couch, Gyuvin curls up on the oversized bean bag on your bedroom floor. It’s much too small for his frame to actually be comfortable, but he somehow feels more content just being around you.
—————-
Taglist: @orangesodafoam @theresawtf @nerezza123 @gyvnexe @xiurmy-everything @wollycobbl3-blr @cloudgyubi @yunnie-11 @wheatrice
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raisedbythetv89 · 7 months ago
Text
The writers I think mostly completely by accident with the assistance of James charming his way into becoming a main character created the perfect storm to ensure people who love spike would reach absolute peak levels of being completely obsessively deranged about him forever
Season 2:
He’s a punk rock villain with killer cheekbones, enchanting eyes, and an absolutely DEVILISH smile - who’s an incredibly dedicated and dangerous fighter who specifically seeks out challenging fights he’s not guaranteed to win (brave and reckless - normally traits seen in heroes) hates everyone except his mentally ill physically sick wife (the statistics of men who leave their wives when they get sick in the US is horrifying like nurses literally have to warn married women who get sick it happens so often) who he’s hopelessly devoted to and unbelievably soft with and always listens to her while also exuding a psychotic amount of sex appeal and is just F U N he loves being a vampire and he loves fighting and it makes it so much fun for the audience. While still showing how much he respects and admires his enemy for her skill, strength, resourcefulness, and intelligence - NEVER underestimating her just because she’s a tiny blonde girl - and instead of destroying the world for love he SAVES the world for love - a villain doing good to get the love of his life back who essentially dumped him for her ex????????? D E V O T E D and shockingly extremely trustworthy??? And has amazing chemistry with our heroine and is there for a pivotal moment in her life and is the only one there for her when she has no one else????? *enemies to lovers girlies ENTER THE CHAT*
Season 3:
He shows he fucking MEANS IT when he says Dru is the love of his life when he shows up in Sunnydale because he blames Angel not Buffy or Drusilla but the man actually responsible for all their problems and he is the most pathetic mess we’ve ever SEEN!!!! He’s crying and drunk all the time and he’s so sad he goes to Buffy’s mom TO TALK 💀😭 our pathetic sensitive little self admitted lover boy who KNOWS he’s love’s bitch and he won’t be pretending he’s anything otherwise who shows how clearly he sees and understands other people and the depths of his emotional intelligence so much so Buffy herself admits she can’t fool Spike she can fool her friends BUT NOT SPIKE OR HERSELF EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHAT???????
AND Spike doesn’t just uselessly MOPE forever he gets some perspective and is like I know what I’m gonna do to her back and I’m gonna go do that now! 😁👍🏻 showing he never stays down for long and is always gonna get back up to keep fighting for his love while BOTH he and Buffy still honor the truce even though he’s broken it by coming back??? While Buffy’s all “I violently dislike you” YEAH OK GIRL WHATEVER YOU SAY *enemies to lovers girlies chomping at the bit intensifies*
Season 4:
CLEARLY heartbroken about Drusilla (DEVOTED!!!) but it’s turned into anger and resentment directed at Harmony who how bizarre looks nothing like Drusilla but A LOT like Buffy…… hmmmmmmmmmmmmm HOW INTERESTING *enemies to lovers girlies are vibrating with anticipation that turns into a full blown combustion when something blue happens*
Spike doesn’t pretend to love Harmony in order to get what he wants from her (shown in direct contrast to Parker) he’s ironically very honest despite being a villain - he’s showing he’s STILL loyal to Drusilla in ONLY loving her even after she’s dumped him... again!
We see Spike treat Buffy the EXACT same way he treated Drusilla during something blue reaffirming THIS IS HOW THIS MAN LOVES WHEN HE LOVES YOU. He’s extremely affectionate, helpful, protective, caring - D E V O T E D - and is truly just the most certified lover boy we’ve ever fucking seen
Season 5:
SURPRISE HE’S SECRETLY A LOVESICK MAMA’S BOY POET AT HEART UNDERNEATH THE BAD BOY PERSONA AND A PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER AND NOW BUFFY AND HER FAMILY’S MOST LOYAL DEFENDER AND IS WILLING TO DIE NOT JUST FOR BUFFY BUT FOR ALL THE SUMMERS WOMEN AND HE KNOWS AND SEES BUFFY SO DEEPLY AND INTIMATELY AND CAN HOLD SPACE FOR HER PAIN LIKE NO ON ELSE CAN AND SHOWS THE DEVOTION THAT ONCE BELONGED TO DRUSILLA NOW BELONGS TO BUFFY AND IT IS GOING NOWHERE EVEN WHEN SHE DIES AND WE'VE SEEN IN HIM CRY BEFORE BUT NEVER HAVE WE SEEN HIM BREAK DOWN LIKE HE DOES AT THE SIGHT OF BUFFY'S BODY!!!!!!!!!!!
*all of us screaming, crying, throwing up, climbing the walls and generally just losing our minds*
Season 6:
No soul, his love is so great for Buffy as is his loyalty and devotion to her, he now helps all of his dead love’s friends fight evil and is raising her sister and dreams of saving her every night for 148 nights ����🏻😭 don’t even fucking talk to me I can’t take it
Forgive the absolute 180 in tone change here:
Dick game is FIRE - his touch is the only thing that makes Buffy feel alive AND SHE WAS IN HEAVEN BRO SHE KNOWS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IN HEAVEN AND SPIKE IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING HER GOING like damn girl yes YOU FUCK THAT HOUSE DOWN!!! Also he is now just naked 50% of the time just to drive us all even FURTHER out of our minds and somehow has just gotten even hotter as the seasons have gone on like this is what’s been hiding under the leather jacket all this time! Enjoy!
And THE MOST unintended consequence of jw’s vindictive writing:
SPITE
He clearly didn’t want us to love Spike and tried to manipulate us into hating him in such a blatant and clumsy ooc attempt all that did was weed out the weakest amongst the Spuffy/Spike fans until all that remained were us:
The most devoted and stubborn fans who REFUSED to have the thing they loved ruined or taken away from us and were smart enough to see through his bullshit manipulation attempt in the first place.
Genuinely they created the equivalent of supersoilder strength level fans with this absolutely lethal combination of events 💀
AND THEN as if all that wasn't enough he goes and gets his soul on purpose for Buffy so he can be the man she deserves and she can love him without hating herself for loving him despite the immense pain it will cause him which is the most selfless thing we have ever seen anyone do for Buffy only to be topped when he sacrifices himself to destroy the hellmouth, save the world and free her from Sunnydale!!! Plus ya know once he gets the soul even though he did it for her he never tries to use that as leverage to get anything from her like he truly expects nothing from her at all but still wants to help her and James delivers the most devastating performances we've ever fucking seen, finally tells her friends off which has needed to happen for 5 seasons, the "you're the one speech" him being a dad to all the potentials with Buffy giving us supernatural parent core who made it through their rough patch with their first kid in season 6 with Dawn and now are just the beautiful team with their found family and Buffy finally has someone who can truly carry her burdens with her and just all the tenderness and devotion they both deserve after so many years of pain and fighting. Basically giving the audience the message that even if you have a metric ton of pain and trauma there are people out there who see you and understand you and there is a chance for you to heal both together and separately to build your own version of a more normal and stable life. It's a message of such hope and I personally know several people, including myself who watched what Spike and Buffy have and it inspired us to look at the relationships we were in and realize we deserved SO MUCH MORE than what we were getting and in my case it turned out I was being emotionally abused and manipulated that entire time!! Much like Buffy was by both Riley and Angel. So it isn't an exaggeration to say Spuffy saved my life in a lot of ways both in being there for me at such a dark time and helping me draw a map of how to get out. Not to mention loving them in fandom spaces has helped me connect with so many people just like me who share very similar experiences and have helped me feel so much less alone and has helped me heal in so many ways 🖤
Spuffies get "hOw cAn yOu liKe sPiKe aFtEr wHaT hE dId" all the fucking time and truly the better question is how can you NOT like Spike???? HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL??? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT GOOD RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO WORK?? BECAUSE AT THEIR CORE SPUFFY HAS THEM ALL!
It's jw writing so NOTHING will escape his toxic bullshit but Spike - because he was hated by jw for so long - so much of the time when he tried to make Spike less popular he just kept making him better and more complex and more and more targeted to the female gaze which is exactly why he snapped and made the choices he literally forced everyone else to go along with despite their protests with that scene to make it the most traumatizing scene in all of Buffy history not just for the audience but for the actors as well because yes it is incredibly horrific and upsetting to watch (which is why I skip it on rewatches) but I still am able to see if for what it is which is a narcissist lashing out at people he hates because he hasn't been able to control them and too bad for him I refuse to be manipulated by his bullshit so it failed completely and made so many of us that much more stubbornly protective of Spike and his and Buffy's relationship not just from other fans but from the creator himself 🙃🖕🏻like he basically just trauma bonded us to Spike and Buffy which has led to the creation of one of the most devoted, loyal, intelligent fanbases who is absolutely unhinged (affectionate) with their love of this character and his relationship which is why we are all still creating and writing about this character 25 year later and show absolutely zero signs of slowing down or stopping 💀
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fuctacles · 7 months ago
Text
A tale as old as time
For @subeddieweek Day 7 | M | 2696 | cw: age gap (about 25-30y difference, Eddie's age is not stated, Steve's aligns with canon) | camboy Eddie, transmasc Eddie, kinda sugar daddy Steve?, modern AU, simp Steve, virgin Eddie, chatfic, pre-anything, gray ace Eddie | Ao3 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Ao3
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"Hawkins High '86? How old is this guy?" Eddie asks himself, his eyebrows raised. There is a letterman in front of him, a gift from one of his top subscribers. Hell, his top subscriber. His number-one fan, who was responsible for about half of his revenue.
He's opened a PO box recently, with no little amount of worry about what kind of stuff he might get. He only gave the address to his top subscribers but he knew that the ones with the most money were usually the most unhinged. He went to the post office with his heart in his throat but all he got was a set of lingerie, a toy, and the letterman he was now holding.
He tried not to think about what kind of people would pay for his content. As long as he was making money he didn't care. But now he got a piece of one of them in his hands. Staring back.
1986.
Meaning the guy must be nearing 60. Double Eddie's age. 
He tries to imagine that. An older guy, with wrinkles, maybe a beer belly, a gross old t-shirt, and his hand permanently in his sweats, beating it to his photos. 
It was gross. And in a way, alluring.
Though someone with so much money to spend on a camboy must have a well-paying job. Some rich asshole, exploiting others to do the work for him. That's a more likely scenario. He tries not to think about big, rough hands on him when he puts on the jacket and takes pics for Shar.
He edits them a bit before sending them, knowing the guy will get a kick from seeing him in his jacket. The appeal of wearing your boyfriend's letterman eluded him in high school, but being claimed like that gave him a heady feeling. The fact that the guy could be his father apparently worked for him too. 
He doesn't put his phone away fast enough and sees the message that pops up.
Shar: So hot. You look like every repressed teen jock's dream
Shar: Definitely like mine
Eddie thinks a moment about his response, channeling the persona he takes on for the camera. 
PuppetOfMasters: Would I be your dirty secret?
PuppetOfMasters: Would you fuck me in the locker room behind your girlfriend's back?
Shar: I'd make YOU my girlfriend
Shar: Wait no
Shar: NOT LIKE THAT
Shar: A girlfriend but in a manly way
Eddie snorts.
You're good, he types. I know what you mean, don't worry.
He wouldn't keep around someone who didn't respect him. Besides, he made it clear he's saving for a transition with his Only Fans.
Thank god, Shar types. I respect who you are 
Shar: In fact, I spend so much money on you because of it. 
Eddie rolls onto his other side, his mood souring. One of those trans fetishists, then. That's fine, as long as he's being respectful and paying... Even if it leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth. 
Ah, a connoisseur! Well, I hope I'm your favorite tranny, then, he jokes. He waits for an answer, but it doesn't come for a long while, so he flips his phone screen down and turns away, hoping for sleep.
A response is waiting for him when he wakes up. 
Shar: I guess it sounded that way, but I'm not that kind of pervert. You're the only trans sex worker I follow, but not the only trans person I've sent money to.
Eddie sauntered to the bathroom, not taking his eyes off his phone. He wonders if continuing the conversation is even the right move. He's talked to one too many guys who thought sending him a dick pick was okay after ten minutes of small talk between a content creator and a fan.
But he's kind of curious. When he has money to spare, he sends some change to other trans folks to help out, because he knows how hard it is from his own experience. But why Shar, a seemingly loaded old guy, would spend his money on queers instead of, let's say, starving children?
PuppetOfMasters: So you're just an ally with cash? Or is there more to it? I'm curious.
He goes through his morning routine, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, not expecting Shar to get back to him any time soon. So he's surprised when he picks his phone back up and a response is waiting.
Shar: Long story short, I hope my father is rolling in his grave while I spend his inheritance on people he hated so much.
That's not what Eddie expected at all. 
PuppetOfMasters: So I'm a means of rebellion against your bigoted dead father? I'll take that. I hate rich assholes
Shar: Me too
They don't talk for the whole day after that, but when Eddie's done running errands and editing in the evening, he looks back at the letterman hanging on the door of his wardrobe. 
How is sending me your letterman an act of rebellion? he asks. Because he's a curious little shit. 
The response comes fast like the guy is glued to his Only Fans chat. Gross. Eddie wonders briefly if he's talking with other sex workers there.
Shar: A souvenir of his precious high school fetishized on a queer ssex worker? He'd die if he hadn't already
So it is a fetish thing! Eddie smiles triumphantly at his phone.
Shar: Okay, fine
Shar: Sticking it to my father is just a bonus for you being really hot. 
Shar: And I do love seeing you in my letterman, I've jerked off to it three times already
Shar: is that what you wanted to hear?
Eddie grins, rolling on his bed.
PuppetOfMasters: Yes 
Shar: So yeah, I'm an old man who peaked in high school, laugh it up
PuppetOfMasters: I'd rather you peaked in me
Shar: Insufferable
Shar: Menace
Shar: Yeah, I'd love that. A man can dream, right?
Eddie bites his lip. How far is too far? The guy seems genuine and after the amount of creeps that's been chatting him up, he thinks his creep radar is quite good. Tentatively, he starts typing.
PuppetOfMasters: I don't know. I think people would like seeing me get railed by an older guy
Shar: An old guy, you mean
Shar: You'd make a video with me?
PuppetOfMasters: I record most of the sex I have, yes
Shar: Huh. I've never seen one before, then
PuppetOfMasters: warm, warmer
Shar: ... There aren't any?
PuppetOfMasters: din ding ding! ya boy is a virgin
Shar: shit
Shar: fuck
Shar: that's so hot
Shar: you'd let me?
PuppetOfMasters: Would I let my best-paying subscriber be my first time on camera? Probably
Not necessarily to be released but he couldn't lose the possibility of such golden content in case it was watchable. 
Shar: I'd better keep my spot then. Just in case.
PuppetOfMasters: No worries, you seem the most trustworthy so far anyway.
But as he types it, a new notification appears. Shar sent him a hefty tip on one of his photos.
PuppetOfMasters: That's really not necessary
PuppetOfMasters: But I hope your father is kicking and screaming in his coffin
Shar: I fucking hope so
----
It takes Eddie another day to google Hawkins High's yearbook photos. He'd thought about it before but didn't want to break the bubble of anonymity between himself and his fan. But the thoughts of big hands on his hips, and beard rubbing against his neck, took root in his brain and were tainting his mind.
Not fully in tune with his body and distrustful of others, Eddie has been single for most of his life. And now his stupid horny brain was drooling at the thought of losing his virginity to a grandpa on the internet. 
Hoping it would help his thoughts calm down, he looks through the photos from the year 1986, in search of a Harrington. And he finds him.
Steve Harrington. Basketball captain and swim team co-captain. His hairdo was magnificent and his smile was self-confident. Eddie would hate him in high school. Should probably hate him now. So he expands his search further, beyond the Hawkins High memory lane.
He finds one single photo on a LinkedIn profile. 
The current Steve Harrington's hair is no less magnificent, just peppered with silver. He wears glasses now, which accentuate the line of his jaw and make his neatly trimmed facial hair pop out. He's wearing a yellow jacket and a white golf, which should be hideous but weirdly, works for him. Eddie doesn't get to see his eyes, unfortunately. The photo looks like a candid photo shoot take-out after someone told him a joke. His head is tilted down, eyes scrunched and lips pulled in a smile, as a bubbling laugh got immortalized on camera.
Eddie shouldn't be finding a sixty-year-old man this endearing. 
PuppetOfMasters: I like your LinkedIn photo
PuppetOfMasters: Well, I hope it's you. 
PuppetOfMasters: Steve, right?
He can't forget about this for the whole day, not as he budgets his income, and especially not when he records a short video jerking off in the shower. He tries not to look at his phone but it's his only one, so he does while trying to budget in a second one, just for sex work. Maybe then he wouldn't be feeling so insane about not getting a response from a stranger who is an old pervert spending loads of money on him. 
He tries to be normal when a chat notification finally pops up. 
Shar: If you saw the golf and yellow jacket photo, that's me
Shar: though please don't make me type my full name in here.
no worries, Eddie types back so fast he should be embarrassed. It's a good photo.
Shar: Thanks. My best friend took it 
PuppetOfMasters: Your friend has a good eye
Shar: I'll let her know
Shar: I'm surprised it took you this long to search me up
Eddie's surprised too. Usually, his curiosity would take over him sooner.
PuppetOfMasters: I tried not to pry. But I had to in case we were gonna meet up one day
Shar: So you were serious?
Shar: I've been wondering if you sweet-talk all your followers like that 
PuppetOfMasters: Only the ones that don't send me dick pics
Shar: I knew holding back would pay off
Eddie snorts at his phone. 
Though I might need one before we meet up, he types. Gotta know what I'm working with
Shar: Right. Of course
Shar: So how would that work?
Eddie hasn't thought about it this far.
PuppetOfMasters: I need to read about OF's policy on collabs. Never had to before, since I work solo. Would probably have to hire you, well, sign a commission/gig contract or something like that. So it's all legal and shit.
Shar, Steve, doesn't answer for a long while, and it might be the end of his devirginizing journey. Well, if the guy doesn't want to make this legal, put his name on some paperwork, then he isn't trustworthy, and that's the end of it.
It's half an hour later and Eddie's bitten all his nails off trying not to follow up with any messages and focus on anything else when an answer finally comes.
Shar: Sorry my friend was bothering me
Shar: this sounds more complicated than I anticipated. So I would be like, a co-creator, then?
PuppetOfMasters: Precisely
Shar: Holy shit okay
Shar: Thought I'd be you know, less involved
Though you could hit it and quit it, huh? Eddie scrunched his nose. What was he getting himself into? Gods.
Shar: If that's what you wanted I'd take it
Eddie shouldn't be blushing over this one. It's like he's throwing the man scraps and he's licking them up.
PuppetOfMasters: Simp
Shar: I am what I am
Shar: With that said, I'm willing to make it work. Do all the paperwork you need
PuppetOfMasters: Doing paperwork just to fuck me? so romantic
Shar: I suck at paperwork so my friend would be doing it anyway
Shar: If that's okay
PuppetOfMasters: I think it's best if someone looks it over, yeah
Eddie hesitates for a moment.
PuppetOfMasters: That friend doesn't happen to be your wife?
Fuck no, comes the immediate response
Shar: I'm perpetually single and she's as gay as they come. 
PuppetOfMasters: Good. Wouldn't want to be the other girl
Shar: If I had the chance you'd be the only one
PuppetOfMasters: Jesus.
Eddie squeezes his legs together unconsciously.
PuppetOfMasters: Stop sweet talking me, I've already agreed to fuck
Shar: But we haven't signed anything yet. Even then, I'll keep sweet-talking you. It's what you deserve. 
For the first time, Eddie thinks he might not survive their meeting. And not because of the possible killer scenario. Thankfully, Steve gets back to business talk.
Shar: How would this work, legal stuff aside? Do you script this?
PuppetOfMasters: Do I look like I script shit?
Shar: I'm not the one with Only Fans
PuppetOfMasters: Fair. I think we could just set up cameras and do whatever we feel like. Then decide together if the footage will be released or not. 
Shar: Sounds reasonable
Shar:When would you want to do this?
When?
Eddie hasn't thought that far. In fact, he felt like he hadn't been thinking for the past couple of days. 
I'm the sole god of my schedule so I'm open to anything, he types evasively.
Shar: I have some time off next month, could fly to wherever you need me
Next month seemed close. Extremely close. Or maybe it wasn't? He never worked with anyone before. Hell, he didn't even have that many friends to meet up with. 
Next month works I guess, he answers despite his nerves.
Shar: Wanna face time before we start the legal work?
His nerves escalate, making his mouth dry. He reminds himself he's done this before, he's on camera all the time. 
PuppetOfMasters: Like, right now?
Shar: Yeah?
PuppetOfMasters: Ok, give me five minutes.
Eddie shoots up, checks himself in the mirror, and finds a good angle for his phone to set up. He lowkey hopes Steve picks up with his dick in the frame so Eddie can block him with a clear conscience and forget about the whole thing. When six minutes from his last message pass, he hits 'call'.
"Hi," Eddie squeaks when the video connects. Steve Harrington's arms are in the frame, crossed on the desk, and toned where he's leaning on them.
"Hi," he greets him with a dazzling smile. 
It is the guy from the photo, so at least he's not being catfished. And he has none of the creepy simp energy Eddie feared. He's just... a guy. It's both a relief and a disappointment. 
"Well?" the guy asks.
"Well, what?" Eddie frowns. 
"Are you disappointed? Am I too old?"
Eddie looks at him properly. His hair is lighter on the sides, but not grey yet, and the video quality doesn't make any wrinkles stand out to him. Maybe some worry lines, crow's feet if he squints. He looks like he keeps in shape, too. Eddie wouldn't call him old. Mature, maybe. A DILF slowly transforming into a Silver Fox. 
"You look fine. Good. You look good. Attractive," Eddie fumbles with his words and barely stops himself from facepalming. This is why he mostly texts.
Steve smirks at him. And holy shit, a dude twice his age smirking at him shouldn't be doing things to his body.
"You sure? You're not gonna block me after we hang up, are you?"
Eddie shakes his head.
"I stand by our plans. You're passing my creep radar so far, but uh..." He scratches his cheek nervously. "I'd like to keep in touch in case, you know. A red flag pops up. I hope you get it."
Steve nods, his expression growing serious.
"Absolutely. We're strangers, after all."
"Yeah." Eddie nods, relieved. It would give him ample time and opportunities to back out.
On the screen, Steve leans more on his arms, closer to the camera. 
"So I think dick assessment is next on the checklist?"
Eddie might not even survive video calls with this guy, after all. 
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molsno · 5 months ago
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god, what happens next is so good. the character writing is just spectacular. it fascinates me just how much depth there is to each character and how that contributes to the story.
milo's dni is the most revealing thing about him, and it's the very first thing we hear from him:
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right off the bat, we can see what kind of person the protagonist is. he's a pastel softboi trans man who clings to a childish aesthetic to appear weak and non-threatening. despite being involved in a toxic relationship with another trans guy who attempted to rape and kill an 11 year old girl when he was a teenager and later murdered his girlfriend, which milo helped with by dismembering her corpse, he puts "pedophiles and unhealthy pairing shippers dni" on his carrd. which, ok, maybe he wants to distance himself from people like griffin now - except that's not really true, because he talks to, moves in with, and regularly hangs out with a serial killer fan who idolizes griffin and is even dating the guy while he's in prison. he puts "being against neopronouns" and "anti-otherkin" on the same level as those things. he explicitly denies any responsibility in the murders of haylie and savannah, despite having literally chopped haylie's arm off. all the while, he has "you deserve to heal" in big bold letters, while not applying that belief to anyone but himself.
right from the start, it's obvious that milo is not a good person. but he's also humanized throughout the story. sure, some of his softboi persona is a means of victimizing himself to avoid taking responsibility for what he did - and you could make the case that he was a victim in some ways. on the other hand, he also never got to grow up because he spent 5 years in a psychiatric institute. is it any surprise that he clings to the same aesthetic, interests, and hobbies he had when he was 15? he never got to stop being a kid, and how is he supposed to now? he didn't graduate high school, he can't get a job, and nobody wants to be friends with him because of what he did. it raises uncomfortable questions - namely, what happens next? milo served his time for the crime he committed as a minor. he was already punished, but now he has to live the entire rest of his life. what is he supposed to do?
that, I think is the most interesting part of this story. almost every character in this story makes it hard for you to like them, but they also have very human reasons for doing the terrible things that they do. I'll talk about some of my favorites under the read more, but be aware that there will be spoilers:
claire is one of the most interesting characters to me, just because of how unlikable she is.
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when we first see claire in victim impact statement, she tries to ignore haylie, griffin, and milo as much as possible. she doesn't even seem to like her sister. she treats haylie as a nuisance for coming into the room that they share as sisters. she doesn't want to go to the open mic night to listen to haylie play her ukulele. when she finds haylie bawling her eyes out in the bathroom at anime central, she just looks away, as if to say "you chose to date your shitty boyfriend". when she hears haylie and griffin fighting upstairs, she just pretends not to hear it. when haylie is curled up in terror later, claire puts on headphones and turns her back to her. her headphones become a way of drowning out haylie's screams when griffin is around, and because of that, she doesn't hear haylie screaming for her life, and ends up finding her corpse in the kitchen.
that's why I don't find it surprising at all that she becomes an outspoken transphobe who wants to take her anger out on the trans people who murdered her sister. she goes to media events and publicly degenders milo and griffin. she calls aaron's friends trannies. I think it's easy to misconstrue her as a terf, but she literally doesn't even pay lip service to feminism. how could she? she knew that her sister was being abused by her boyfriend, and she did nothing. let me remind you that she lives in a house where "smash the patriarchy" is embroidered on the wall. she doesn't care about any of that. she just wants a scapegoat. she wants to make the law impose harsher punishments on minors who commit violent crimes because she doesn't know what else to do with her life. she very clearly hates herself, becoming an alcoholic to cope with her guilt. she pretends to care about haylie and fight for this law because it's the only way she can convince herself she's a good person, even though she can see that doing what she's doing is turning everyone against her.
and then that brings us to audrey. it's difficult to like her, too, because she's dating claire despite all of the horrible things she's doing. but at the same time, I can see where she's coming from. her mother died of cancer and she and all of her other black siblings were adopted by conservative christian white parents. she's still christian to this day, and makes a point of separating herself from "criminals" by insisting that she has nothing to do with them because she goes to church and takes care of her family. she doesn't want to disavow the law that claire worked so hard to pass because at the end of the day, it won't affect her personally, even though she is aware that the justice system disproportionately punishes black people. she very clearly has a lot of internalized racism, and I think that's best exemplified in the way she draws herself. despite having pretty dark skin in real life, she draws herself as light skinned as claire, her white girlfriend:
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like, it's hard to like audrey, but you can clearly see why she's made all of the decisions she has! she idolizes claire because it's her first lesbian relationship. the way she sees it, claire can do no wrong. audrey does actually seem to be aware that her girlfriend is doing terrible things, but she essentially just plugs her ears and tries to ignore it. that's why she doesn't go to claire's campaign events. she ignores all of her girlfriend's flaws because claire is essentially her savior. because she has claire, she doesn't have to go back to her family, to her abusive alcoholic white father. she doesn't have to actually take care of her younger siblings, which is a responsibility she's foisted off unto mark. that's why she ignores that claire is just as much of an emotional drain as her father. she's highly depressed, she's an alcoholic, she trashes their bedroom (leaving audrey to clean up after her mess), she puts up an emotional wall and dismisses audrey's attempts to comfort her, and dismisses audrey's own problems as being less traumatizing and less important. by all accounts, claire is a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person, but because audrey idolizes her as her savior, she stays by her side. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to claire's disappearance in future chapters.
and then of course, there's vikki. she's been doing something incredibly disrespectful for years by making true crime videos where she talks about the victims and killers like it's all a joke. she makes a video about whether ethical necrophilia is possible, and makes a callous, bitter joke that the concept of "respect for the dead" is antiquated, because nobody respects her as a trans woman of color even though she's still alive. for this comment, people have harassed her online endlessly, enough that she had to make a video called "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I FUCK CORPSES". that doesn't stop her from making a video about the murder of haylie, complete with an interview from milo. she'll throw him under the bus if it means getting the attention off herself for a bit.
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and yet, I think out of everyone, I feel the most compassion for vikki. yes, she used milo for content and called him a "sad little blonde girl", but I can understand where she's coming from! like, again, she's a trans woman of color in the true crime community. she knows the archetype milo is trying so hard to be in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he did. like, I've personally seen trans women of color who are victimized by white trans men who pull the same exact shtick as milo over and over, so I completely understand her frustration. that said, she also realized she went too far and tried to apologize, only to find out she was blocked and that milo basically wrote a callout post against her. I think it says a lot that vikki was one of the only people to actually try to talk to milo, even if the way she went about it was wrong.
vikki does things that are disrespectful, but to be honest, it's not that surprising! she grew up in a 90% white town in the middle of nowhere, got assaulted by multiple white boys for being a faggot, got sent to alternative school, worked for a funeral home as a teenager, and transitioned. not only is she desensitized to death, she's angry that people revere the dead more than her.
it's astounding, really! what happens next is so well written because it makes you feel conflicted about each of its characters. what are we supposed to do with these people who do awful things? a lot of the intrigue in this comic comes from seeing how each of the characters handles this question as they deal with the other characters who have done terrible things, while they themselves are deeply flawed as well. I think the writing really forces you to contend with the idea that these are all still people, and that their humanity needs to be recognized even if they do terrible things. it makes you ask, what happens next?
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