#and MAN was it embarrassing drawing this at work
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Krauser sitting and watch you and Leon as you make out and explore each other’s bodies. He’s just curious.
He would make you do it and he's such an asshole about it too :(
He wasn't blind. Of course he wasn't. He saw how both you and Leon looked at each other, how you two interacted and all that shit. Some know-it-all shrink would guess it's some kind of trauma bonding, others would say its raging hormones between two your people, barely in your 20's and thrust into such shit predicament. Jack on the other hand didn't have time or care for speculations or analyzing the two rookies put under his command, all he knew and cared about is that Kennedy and you were close.
It was clear as day to anyone with two working eyes; Kennedy was gentler and more careful with you, for example during your private combat training, trying not to throw you around too roughly or hit too hard. Or how after you were tired out after your training Leon would always nuzzle up to you, nudging you with his forehead.
Or that one time during your first weeks on the base whenever some soldiers tried to harass you, Leon was always there, snarling like a feral mutt in your defense; that memory made Krauser chuckle, but he guesses that a mutt will always try to protect his bitch.
Surprisingly, this wasn't the case when it came to Jack himself. Leon was still protective of you, sure, but not nearly as much, in fact neither him nor you were unresponsive to his...advances. Krauser would be a liar if he said he didn't find you both pretty; nice bodies, good hips, the most fuckable lips and those sweet sweet eyes staring up at him whenever he cornered you or Kennedy with a snarl on his face, the gnarly scars moving slightly when he smirked at the whine or tiny arch he got in response.
Months of build up tension led to this exact moment; Krauser, who herded you and Leon into his office and made you sit on the couch, was now seated in front of it, huge, powerful legs spread wide, the bulge of his cock straining against his military pants as he watched you and the blonde embracing while kneeling in front of each other, your arms wrapped around the other's body and letting out the most delicious whimpers and tiny moans while kissing.
Your gentle, soft hands roamed over Leon's broad shoulders, neck and into his fluffy hair, carding through it and gently scratching his scalp which in turn made the man shudder and break the passionate kiss in order to let out pleasured purr, a string of spit still between you as you pant.
'This is so...embarrassing...' You thought and blushed even harder, not even able to suppress the needy whine when Leon dipped down to your neck to ravage it with hot, open mouthed kisses and making you subconsciously tilt your head to the side to allow him more room which Leon enthusiastically used.
His hands moved from your sides to your front, grabbing at your breasts and kneading them, particularly focusing on your stiff nipples which only made you moan louder and arch even more into his insistent touch; they were still so, so sensitive from last night when Leon suckled them well into the night...
However, your pleasure-pained noises were like music to Krauser's ears as his own hand traveled down his belly to his still clothed cock to give it a firm squeeze, his own husky growl drawing both your and Leon's attention and Jack couldn't help but chuckle at your fucked out, needy expressions when you looked at his obscene display; lounging back in his comfortable armchair, his huge, powerful body laid back lazily with his legs all spread, touching and squeezing his cock through his clothes.
God he couldn't wait until he got his hands on his two pretty, fucked out rookies <3
#kin speaks#asks#interactions#resident evil x reader#resident evil 4 x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x reader#jack krauser x reader#krauser x reader#jack krauser x you#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#jack krauser#krauser#major krauser#resident evil 4
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Oliver Queen when he found out his son had remained friends with Jason Todd
Oliver Queen stood by his window, drawing back his bowstring, a steely focus in his eyes.
Oliver (whispering): All right, stand still.
As he prepared to take his shot, Roy was chatting with Jason when he caught sight of his father on the balcony, bowstring drawn and arrow ready. Acting on instinct, Roy tackled Jason to the ground just as Oliver released the arrow, which narrowly missed them both.
Roy (breathing heavily): Could you not try to kill him?!
Oliver (shouting angrily): I was aiming for his leg!
Jason, unfazed, lay on the ground, smirking.
Jason (mockingly): Destroy my leg, but spare my life… I respect that.
Roy rolled his eyes as he stood up.
Roy (grinning): He says he respects that it wasn't a kill shot!
Oliver (frustrated): I don’t care about his opinion! But thanks nonetheless!
Jason picked himself up, brushing off the dirt and ready to stir the pot.
Jason (tauntingly): Are you still butt hurt that I made you cry like a baby when I called you out?
Oliver’s face flushed with anger.
Oliver (defensive): That was allergies, you idiot! Just stay away from my son—you’re a bad influence!
Jason laughed, crossing his arms.
Jason (smirking): Hey, it’s not my fault I took care of your son better than you did!
Oliver’s expression hardened as he considered nocking another arrow.
Oliver (shouting): You son of a bitch! I did take care of him!
Jason stepped closer, challenging Oliver.
Jason: You kicked him out of the house and stripped him of his hero status when you found out he was on drugs!
Oliver (poorly defending himself): He’s alive right now, so it worked out! I am a good father!
Jason laughed, shaking his head.
Roy: Jason, let’s just leave.
Jason: No, no, I love this I'm not leaving until he cries!
Jason stepped forward, raising his voice.
Jason: Good fathers don’t disown their kids and refuse to help them! You make my father look like a saint; at least he tried! He was a hypocrite for most of it, but you kicked your son out instead of helping him! Just because he's turned out fine doesn’t fix anything!
Oliver shook with rage, angrily preparing another arrow, but Dinah suddenly walked outside and snatched it away.
Dinah: Act like an adult, or I’m calling off date night!
Roy put his phone away, having texted Black Canary about the argument upstairs.
Roy: Thanks, Dinah.
Dinah: You’re welcome! Good to see you again, Roy and Jason. I don’t like you that much Jason, but Oliver is overreacting.
She smacked Oliver lightly on the back of the head before going back inside with the arrows. Oliver groaned, resting his forehead on the railing of the balcony.
Jason: Want to cry again? I can slash the tires on your new car if you need some extra motivation.
Roy chuckled and shook his head, but Oliver, visibly irritated and embarrassed, pulled out his phone.
Oliver (firmly): You know what? I don’t care if you two are adults. I’m calling Bruce and telling on you!
Jason's eyes widened, panic flashing across his face as Oliver retreated to his bedroom.
Jason (threateningly): Old man, I will throw a rock through every single window of your house if you dial his number!
With a defiant smirk, Jason bolted toward the mansion, with Roy hot on his heels, secretly enjoying the chaos.
How it started
#oliver queen#jason todd#roy harper#roy harper arsenal#red hood#green arrow#microfiction#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily#batman#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#headcanon batfamily#batfamily headcanons#batfamily microseries#batfamily fanfiction#script fic#part of my batfamily flash fiction#batfamily fic#batfamily funny#batfamily fluff#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction#batfamily flash fiction#bruce wayne
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"At Least I Know I'm Doing It."
I'm sorry guys. I just got this scene in-game and I couldn't help it.
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Rook was no stranger to nerve-wracking situations, in fact, they seemed to draw her in, much similar to what she imagined the call of lyrium felt like to a templar, or a moth to a lit flame. But this, well, this was a different kind of adrenaline, one that exuded a heart wrenching helplessness; and it was all his fault.
As a crow, it came as no surprise to anyone that Lucanis had a way with words and a charming presence, and while it may not be on the level of his cousin, Illario, it was still an undeniable quality.
A quality that Rook, against her better judgment, found herself inexplicably drawn to.
Which leads to now, where she remains crouched with her back against the now empty pantry wall, staring dumbly at the door Lucanis abruptly left through after excusing himself. He had let her so close, and not just let her, no, he actively pulled her in closer, after months upon months of a precarious dance of poorly concealed admiration for each other. And then he’d left. Fuck.
With an exasperated breath, Rook drags her hand down her face, flushing at the memory.
“At least I know I’m doing it.”
The gall of this man.
Did she do something wrong? Was it something she said? Or was he simply afraid, and backed away when things finally got to a boil of the simmering longing harbored between the two of them that was seemingly evident to everyone at the lighthouse except for these two?
The only certainty Rook felt was embarrassment. Well, that and a flustered feeling that caused something deep in the pit of her stomach to flutter. With an annoyed groan, she stands up, trying to regain some semblance of pride lost by the feeling of having his lips so close to hers before his hasty retreat, before pushing out of the pantry Lucanis so lovingly decided would be his room in the Lighthouse, ignoring the gazes of Taash and Davrin, who happened to be in the kitchen at the moment.
Despite being in the Fade, the Lighthouse provided an unexpected aura of peace, which Rook was grateful for as she stepped out of the dining hall, fully prepared to make a beeline for her private quarters just upstairs from the library. It only took three paces out of the hall for her steps to halt, as she stands just outside Neve’s office, when the idea of what could have caused the hasty retreat of Lucanis earlier causes her stomach to twist in an uncomfortable knot.
Jealousy was not a new feeling to Rook, but a jealousy as intense as this one was definitely a first. What if his and Neve’s connection went deeper than the seemingly harmless flirtatious banter the two of them shared on occasion? Rook had always brushed it off as just the way Neve was with people, considering the two of them flirted as well; it just seemed to be a part of her natural charm.
And before Rook could consider otherwise, she pushed open the door to Neve’s office without so much as a knock.
Standing somewhat nervously in the doorway, she decides to ask her friend the question weighing on her mind.
Neve, who is currently sitting at her chair engrossed in her work, looks up at the uncharacteristically quiet and slightly pink Rook.
“You alright, Rook?” Neve inquires, both amused and concerned.
“Can I ask you something?” Rook replies as she hastily closes the door behind her. This seems to pique the detective’s interest as she gestures to the chair across her desk, which Rook happily collapses in, popping her finger joints nervously. “You and Lucanis- is there anything going on there?” she eventually asks.
With a raised eyebrow and a low chuckle, Neve studies her friend intently, before shaking her head. “No, Rook. But it is quite obvious you’re an absolute sap for the team’s resident assassin. A sentiment which he very obviously returns, by the way.” Neve stands gracefully from her chair, and rounds her desk to stand in front of Rook.
“What happened?” she asks softly. The question launches Rook into the memory of mere minutes before, Lucanis’ hand beside her head against the wall as his eyes had flicked down to her lips.
“You like to walk a little too close to the edge.”
“So do you.”
Rook shakes her head, trying pitifully to remove the memory from her mind. “It’s just-” Rook sighs frustratedly. The expression on the Tevinter mage’s face seems to understand what’s happened, as it morphs into a sympathetic smile. After a moment's silence, Neve breaks the silence.
“Go talk to him.”
Neve’s advice earns a groan from Rook, but she knows she’s right. With a curt nod, Rook stands, and quietly squeaks out a thank you, before awkwardly turning on her heel and leaving the office.
Talk to him.
Talking is something Rook can do, and quite honestly knows she excels doing under most circumstances, but something about the idea of speaking to Lucanis, being vulnerable, causes her tongue to pre-emptively swell in her mouth, garbling her words and thoughts alike.
She knows she's not just walked too close to the edge. She's fucking free-falling.
#lucanis dellamorte#da: the veilguard#da4#da4 lucanis#rook x lucanis#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#this fucking scene bro#mary kirby thank you#ppl can hate on this romance all they want but i love it#him and rook are idiots (in love (affectionate))
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SEVIKA X F!READER
-no warnings just pure fluff
“YOU MAKE ME FEEL… AT HOME.”
The bar was lively that night, packed with regulars and a few unfamiliar faces, filling the place with laughter and the occasional clash of tankards. Y/n moved between tables, a gentle smile gracing her lips as she poured drinks and listened to customers’ stories. Her soft demeanor and kind eyes were a quiet contrast to the roughness of the bar’s usual patrons.
Sevika stepped in, her presence immediately drawing attention. She was used to commanding the room, but tonight, her eyes drifted past the crowds, drawn to the bartender in the corner—Y/n. Sevika had heard rumors about her, a quiet girl with a heart of gold, and she’d laughed them off. Love wasn’t something she ever had time for. But the moment she saw Y/n, her heart stumbled.
As she made her way to the bar, Sevika watched Y/n work, the gentleness in her movements, the shy glances she gave her customers, her soft “thank yous” and nods. She found herself, for once, a little nervous.
Y/n approached, giving her a warm smile. “What can I get for you?”
Sevika cleared her throat, trying to keep her cool. “Just a whiskey,” she replied, unable to take her eyes off her.
As Y/n poured the drink, a group of drunk men seated nearby noticed her and started making noises—whistles, crude comments, laughing too loudly. Y/n glanced over nervously, her face turning a shade of pink, but she kept her focus on the task, setting the whiskey in front of Sevika with a quiet, “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” Sevika muttered, throwing a quick glare toward the men, who were now staring at Y/n with obvious intentions. Sevika took a slow sip of her drink, fighting the urge to interfere.
One of the men staggered over, leaning too close. “Hey, sweetheart,” he slurred, “why don’t you come over here and give us a little company, hmm?”
Y/n’s cheeks reddened as she took a step back. “I… I’m just working,” she replied, voice barely above a whisper.
Sevika watched the man with a hardened stare. “I think she’s fine where she is,” she growled, her voice carrying a warning.
The man glanced over, catching sight of Sevika’s glare and the mechanical arm resting on the bar. He muttered something under his breath and retreated, going back to his table with his friends.
Y/n looked up at Sevika, gratitude shining in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said softly.
Sevika shrugged, trying to act casual. “Can’t have idiots like that bothering you. Besides,” she added with a smirk, “I’ve got my own reasons to want your attention.”
Y/n’s face turned pink, and she looked down, fiddling with her apron nervously. “Well, um… what… what kind of reasons?” she managed to ask, her shyness making Sevika’s heart beat a little faster.
“You’re a good listener,” Sevika replied, leaning in closer, her gaze softening. “A little quiet, but… I like that. Makes me feel like I don’t have to be all tough around you.”
Y/n gave a shy smile, her fingers brushing her hair back. “Most people don’t like the quiet,” she admitted. “They think it’s boring.”
“Boring?” Sevika scoffed, her voice low. “I think it’s… calming. And I don’t know what it is about you, but you make me feel…” She hesitated, almost embarrassed to admit it. “…at home.”
Y/n’s smile grew, and she reached out, resting her hand on Sevika’s. Her touch was gentle, tentative, but Sevika felt warmth spreading through her chest. “That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Y/n murmured.
Sevika chuckled, feeling a rare shyness herself. “Guess I should come around here more often.”
Y/n bit her lip, her gaze meeting Sevika’s. “I… I wouldn’t mind that,” she whispered, her voice full of sincerity.
The night passed, and Sevika stayed, letting herself relax, talking and laughing with Y/n between orders. The world outside the bar seemed to disappear.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!
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Miles 1610 x reader
Tw: porn, age up, obscene language, Internal misogyny
(English isn't my first language, sorry for mistakes)
Write smut because I can
Enjoy 💋
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A couple of paint cans fell to the floor with a thud, drowning out the quiet moans. You insistently pulled Miles closer, wrapping your legs around his hips as his warm hands reverently stroked the curve of your waist.
“Do you like my figure that much?” you giggled as Miles gently squeezed the skin on your side.
"I'm studying the texture for authenticity," his embarrassed murmur touched your lips, parted from lack of air.
You two didn't expect the evening to turn out like this. Actually, Miles did not expect it when he invited you to be a sitter for his graduation work at art school. For you, on the other hand, it was a long-awaited chance. From the first time you met, you knew you had to have him for herself. While their classmates saw him as some silly nerd, there was nothing sexier for you than his craving for quantum physics and drawing.
In fact, you didn't really want to rush things between you, after all, you had only become friends a couple of months ago. But recently you found a girl in Miles's room and decided that it was impossible to delay. You had no idea who that blondie was, but she managed to shake your confidence. You had to hope Miles didn't have a type. You obviously couldn't call herself ugly, on the contrary, your parents' money was doing its job: a couple of years of wearing braces, expensive cosmetologists and hairdressers, and by graduation you could be confused with someone from the Kardashian family. The problem was, you didn't look alike that blondie at all.
You had well-groomed and neatly styled hair when that girl had a hairstyle that was done by either a self-taught punk or an autistic blind man. She dressed in a similar style also. What could Miles possibly see in her?
Anyway, it didn't matter at the moment, because right now his head was between your legs.
The cold and thick paint that you had spilled on the table slowly flowed down your leg. With a quick movement, Miles pulled off your underwear and smeared a purple stain on the back of your thigh. You took a deep breath and gripped the edge of the table. Your whole body was trembling slightly from overexcitation and excess of emotions.
A slight bite on the inside of your thigh sent a shiver down your spine, forcing you to spread your legs wider. You would never have thought that seeing his charming face between your legs could be the most satisfying part of the process.
"You didn't tell me about it."
You arched her back in a sudden burst of pleasure. Trying to calm you accelerated breathing, you swallowed, looking down. With an innocent expression on his face, Miles clamped the curved piercing bar between his teeth. Every little breath he took sent a wave of goosebumps through your body.
"You didn't show much interest in my holes before," you smiled, possessively throwing your legs over his shoulders.
Blushing slightly, Miles looked down again and wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you still. His hot tongue slowly slid along your wet folds, gently pushing them apart and deliberately brushing against the cold metal of the jewelry. You threw your head back, breathing heavily. You could have finish just from the look of his deer eyes innocently looking up at you.
"You're gonna kill me," you muttered, trying to grab onto something to keep from falling off the table under the pressure of the sensations delivered by his soft mouth. In the end, you ran your hand through his soft curls, pulling him as close as you could.
Miles moaned softly, lightly squeezing your butt, his tongue teasingly penetrating inside you as he leaned slightly towards your gentle hand in his hair.
"I think you're trying to strangle me right now," Miles chuckled. His cheeks were slightly squeezed by your thighs, making the whole picture even more adorable.
Feeling the sweet warmth in your lower abdomen, you pulled Miles even closer, moving your hips towards his mouth, rubbing yourself against his face.
Suddenly, he pinned you against the table, holding you by the waist. Unable to move, you threw her head back, feeling even more aroused. Finally, Miles's plump lips found your clit, sucking lightly on it.
He pulled back your piercing with his teeth once again, hard enough to make you gasp in surprise, but not hard enough to cause real pain.
It was too much for you. Just a couple of movements made you shudder and arch back from orgasm, throwing even more things off the table.
With a soft moan, Miles pressed his mouth to your pussy, prolonging your pleasure with a couple of movements of his tongue along your swollen and wet with excitement folds.
You involuntarily pinched his head between your thighs so that he had to forcibly spread your legs apart.
“Have you invited many people to “pose" like that?” you murmured with a note of jealousy and gratitude in voice. Your chest was heaving convulsively from the lack of air in lungs.
“No one,” Miles's cheeks turned an embarrassed blush as he tried to catch his breath, beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. He sat down on the table and looked at your naked body. Awkwardly reaching out, Miles smeared drops of paint on your collarbone, tracing a red line from your chest to hip while admiring your curves.
“Who was that blondie in your room the other day?” you blurted out, not caring how harsh your question sounded, especially after what he had just done to you.
Miles's eyes widened slightly at the unexpected question.
“Do you really want to talk about her at the moment?” He chuckled slightly. “Don't worry, I didn't do those things to her.”
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God, I hope I won't get cursed or wished to die for this
#miles molares#atsv miles#miles morales x reader#Miles Morales smut#smut#atsv smut#atsv#across the spiderverse
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Fuck you *angsts your flirty gal tattoo*
#Fidds did that himself that’s why I put it in his thigh#and MAN was it embarrassing drawing this at work#what are u drawing? a comic? lemmie see? NO#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford x stanford#fiddleauthor#stanford pines#ford pines
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Vanny gets her sleepy FNAF guys mixed up,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#security breach#mike schmidt#jeff fnaf#fnaf movie#into the pit#I can imagine Vanny for a moment mistaking Jeff for Mike#and feeling so embarrassed she clocked this random man#BUT ITS OKAY#Jeff is use to to being called names actually#he’s very prepared for it#IT DOESNT even phase him anymore#he works with greasy pizza course he’d be greasy too#he didn’t even care being called the wrong name#he just enjoyed being noticed at all honestly#been a bit since I’ve last drawn Vanny and Mike#maybe I’ll do a new comic of em soon 💜#this comic was also an excuse to draw Jeff once again#me and ALLL my homies love Jeff 🩵🩵
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watching yet another person fall from an unimaginably tall height
#this is kinda embarrassing#‘didn’t you draw a swk yesterday with the exact same color palette??’#yeah and I’m aboutta do it again#listen my color swatches are very unimaginative#sun wukong#journey to the west#jttw#lego monkie kid#lmk sun wukong#well kinda it’s sorta like my own fusion design on how I imagine the original and the lmk one mixed together#you ever notice that wukong designs overall hit the same beats#I like it I think the warm color palette suits him#tho I did originally wanna make him more peach toned#I still do this is just what we’re working with for now#digital art#my art#lmk fanart#jttw fanart#lmao if you think about jttw fanart has been around for a VERY long time#jttw is truly That Bitch#💅✨#listen man the guys like quadrillion times immortal I think it’d be alright for him to show off his snatched waist#he’s on his hot girl summer shit#also I think he’d kinda be a hoe about it#deserved honestly
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I was literally thinking of a completely unrelated au and then the most perfect fanfic-y trope for these two just worms itself into the narrative. Dear brain I love this idea but also what the fuck how do you come up with this while I am in no way shape or form trying to turn this into romance
#nathan's notes#art#not tagging anyone bc I'm too embarrassed by this you come across this post on your dash like a man#undertale yellow#uty#ut yellow#corn yaoi#starlo uty#uty dalv#also first corn yaoi drawing posted woo!!#i say posted bc I'm working on this comic and i already have a page done but i aint showing it yet lol
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argentinian spider-oc !! :D
#used a different brush for this one#it looks cool#“avis why is she wearing the argentina flag in her shirt if her suit already has its color” because we're prideful like that#argentina el mejor país (ignoren la economía)#spidersona#?? ig... I'm not sure if it counts#I didn't mske it to be me specifically#it could be a self insert ig#i uh. i have no idea how sonas work. is it obvious?#original character#oc#spider-man#across the spiderverse#atsv#my art#art#digital art#avis draws#argentina#this is an old one#wait have i already posted it??#pls tell me I haven't that'd be so embarrassing
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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oh man.
#🎲#oh i think yesterday i was thinking about pegging benny for like a full hour at work. i was so bored. work feels so long because#it gets dark immediately so i feel trapped in hell for like 7 hours. ANYWAYS. yeah i wanna fuck benny soooo bad sometimes.#>_<.... getting embarrassed. justttt ughhhh i knowww he'd be so sensitive and loud. man. I WISH I COULD DRAW PORN!!! i suck at it#like i just want him to come over and over i wanna make him feel soooo good uughhh i want him to get overwhelmed.#UGHHHH i wish i had a cock i also wanna come in him. i'm sure he'd like it hehe.... god i just wanna fuck him so bad...#maybe tie him up too... ive also considered whether or not i would maybe wanna gag him. probably not.... but hmm#he would still be able to make nice sounds despite the gag of course.... who knowsss.
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how do i get a cool artist to work with me so they can draw my characters better than i can aaaaaaaaa
#i've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my original story#and i'm just like. i have tried to draw these characters. these boys that i Made Up myself. but it just doesn't look how i want it to#and i know lots of authors team up with different artists to make stuff. and especially since i'm conceiving this as a light novel#it wouldn't require as much work on their part#but like. man. i'm upsetti and i don't know how to reach out other than to like. host a contest or something? so i can choose from that?#that's not what people do but i also can't think of anyone i know who would be able to do what i'm thinking of idk#also it would feel more embarrassing to ask my friends to draw them for me like no i can't do that#weh how do people do this
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Not much has been shared yet for the Nicky day of the week which has me thinking that *I* wanna draw a Nicky to share but... That would require... Drawing and... Liking what I draw...
#I should draw though it's been a minute#I wanna draw Sparrow too... maybe even a demon Sparrow...#:/ But unfortunately to get better at art you gotta make more of the art#And it's hard for me to not get discouraged very quickly#And I'm always so embarrassed when I do share my drawings lmao#That's why I don't use an art tag- don't want people finding that shit lmao#Props to gigi though for scavenging my blog like a raccoon for an oldish glenn sketch that one time tho LMAO#She earned that#:0 I still mostly like that Nicky I have as my banner but I feel like I've never been as pleased with a drawing I've done of him since#Oh Cal if you're reading this- you were talking the other day about wishing you were more of a writer to express what visual art can't#And I *totally* felt that from the opposite end LOL#(I do get insecure about my writing but like not as much) like ''THIS WOULDN'T WORK AS A FIC THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A 4 PANEL COMIC"#Or just like ''I want to *show* you this character design'' not idk. Write about it.#Also I can keep my attention drawing for much longer than writing lol- writing fiction anyways#Man. ANYWAYS.
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i think if i could just attend 1 creative writing class w ethel cain it would fix it all
#she just gets it man like fawwkk dude T____T i just wanna create but idk how 2 do that anymore#maybe i should stop being a baby and just look for a creative writing group. or class. like in my area#my bf keeps saying hes down to sit down and work with me on my stories any time i want but...idk#i get embarrassed and shut myself down bc i hold myself to high expectations for no reason#i wanna make something GREAT. somethkng that resonates#but i always end up wanting to steal ideas cuz my own work feels so empty and childish#grrrrrr. grrrrrrr i h8 sucking at drawing from my mind i h8 this glass wall i always hit man#ennyway whatever
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