#and Lucy is trying but she is NOT helping

[immediatebreakfast]

Lucy thinking the nightingale song being her mother trying to comfort her broke me

Moreso when the nightingale, that tiny brown common bird, represent nature's purity and virtue through its spontaneous songs. A nightingale singing as Lucy tries to make sense of the chaos around her is almost a call for help to anyone who might hear, so Lucy sees it as her mom trying to tell her that all will pass.

And who could blame Lucy, when such traumatic night led her to have the most tender transfusion up to date made by Quincey out of love. Then, to wake up and come to terms that not only her mother is dead, but her home is not safe anymore.

Her eye then lit on Van Helsing and on me too, and gladdened. Then she looked around the room, and seeing where she was, shuddered; she gave a loud cry, and put her poor thin hands before her pale face.

How could Lucy not cry? From yesterday to today, everything painted down the death of her mother, and the loss of her innocence in the narrative. Even with her wits, her caged thoughts, and her self imposed deprecation Lucy is the paragon of light in the novel, she had a more picturesque way of seeing, and feeling the world that the other characters lacked. It was a matter of difference in motion, and yesterday Lucy lost it all. Not lost, but it was taken away from her in the most outrageous way possible.

Which is why Lucy now feels hopeless.

but she was very low in thought and spirit, and wept silently and weakly for a long time. We told her that either or both of us would now remain with her all the time, and that seemed to comfort her.

It's a miracle, and a very welcomed gesture that Van Helsing, and Jack promised to stay with her permanently (victorian social rules be damned) because what Lucy needs right now is people that truly are there to help her with anything.

[prodigal-san]

Do you have any head cannons for your hellborn!luci AU??? :o

OOOH Hellborn!Luci~ haven’t thought about this AU in a while. Hmmm let’s seeeee…

Well, Luci doesn’t remember his parents, as he was found by Fizz in the back of Ozzie’s as a squalling baby. They raised him until Luci had a falling out with Ozzie, causing him to leave Lust and try to make it by himself in Pride.

He started to work at a lounge where Lilith often sings at, and where they met and started hooking up. After an experimental tryst with magical genitalia (lol what 😂), Luci ended up getting pregnant.

Lilith wasn’t too fond of the idea of kids at the time so she ended their FWB relationship (“I think you’re getting a little too attached anyway, darling,”) but made sure Luci was well cared for by buying him an apartment in a well-to-do part of Pride where most Hellborn celebrities live (think Verosika) and giving him a huge amount of cash to raise Charlie.

Luci pretended to take all this in stride but in truth, he was heartbroken about the breakup as he had fallen for Lilith (he even has a tattoo with her name on his shoulder lol). He decided to put all that love into Charlie though, which meant he spoiled her with many toys and dresses, as well as fancy meals. His money started running out fast because of this, and by the time he realized he had about a month’s worth of funds till shit hit the fan.

Around this time, Lilith had orchestrated another coup against Alastor, but this time she dragged Heaven into it. Alastor did NOT like that and it ended with Adam’s death and Lilith vanishing for years. Alastor took a huge hit from this fight though, and he isolated in the palace since then to recover. (Which is why he’s so bored lol)

Luci decided to ask Lilith for more money as working ten busboy jobs (and one failed venture as a duck toy peddler job in Bambee World in Greed) wasn’t enough. He was also too proud to ask Ozzie for help. He knew about the failed coup, but not about Lilith vanishing, so when he came to the palace to ask for child support, he met Alastor instead.

Still bitter about his latest fight with Lilith, Alastor decides to strike a deal with Luci, saying he’ll support his daughter and even groom her to be his heir, on the condition that Luci do whatever he asks. Used to being exploited, Luci readily agrees. Alastor intended to “use” Luci the night they moved in, but when they were finally in the bedroom and Luci started stripping, Alastor started panicking because surprise, surprise… he was a 10,000 year old virgin xDDDD

And that’s where the story takes off HAHAHAHA omg I ended up writing a short fic I think askdkkskdmsma but I hope this was what you asked for?? Omg 😆

[typicalopposite]

Thanks @priincebutt for the tag 🫶

slowly making my way through chapter 7! 🫠 sorry this has become my whole personality lately 😂 this is my main fic at the moment!

“Kinard!” Captain Collier calls from his office, nearly causing Tommy to drop the laptop he has meticulously balanced on his (extremely, dreadfully, embarrassingly) large belly. He has long since been able to comfortably do anything at his desk— the bump getting in the way, and sitting at an angle hurts his constantly aching back— so he has been using the bump instead… God knows it sticks out far enough anyway. He lifts the laptop off, and sets it on the table; crumbs from the bag of chips he was eating topple from his shirt to the floor when he stands. He frowns at the mess and grabs the broom he keeps close by (this happens often) and sweeps them into a pile. “Tommy?” Collier repeats softer this time, poking his head out of his office. 

“Uh, come— coming Cap!” He tries in vain to bend and reach the dustpan. He holds on to the desk for support but he feels like he’s going to tumble forward every time he starts to lower himself. Then he sits back down and tries again… still with no success; he even tries to flip it onto the broom and balance it up to the desk.

“Let me,” Collier says, now beside him. He takes the broom then bends down and sweeps the crumbs into the dustpan. After he throws the crumbs away he straightens back up and sits on the edge of Tommy’s desk. “Tommy…” he says again, and just from the look on his face, Tommy already knows what he’s about to say. “Listen. I know you want to work up until you deliver, but I really think it’s time.” Tommy can feel his mouth pulling down and Collier sighs.  “Hey… come on, don’t do that.” 

Tommy is trying desperately not to humiliate himself by ‘doing that’— i.e. crying— but it has gotten so much harder lately. He feels huge, and heavy, and tired, and sore all the time! All that meshes together and has made him somehow even more emotional. 

“What did you do to him, Cap!?” Lucy gasps, walking into the hanger. 

Collier sucks at his teeth and pushes off the desk. “I didn’t do anything but suggest he make these last weeks easier on himself.” 

“Well,” Lucy says… more so to Tommy. 

“Not you too, Luce?!” Tommy feels his pout deepen. 

Lucy laughs, and comes up behind him, squeezing and massaging his shoulders before wrapping her arms around him. “Don’t get me wrong, work will suck without you, and I am going to miss you so much; I don’t want you to leave…” she says. “I just want you to get some rest… you know the whole cliche you better sleep while you can because you won’t once baby is here— except you’re gonna have two babies keeping you up, and I honestly can’t remember the last time you’ve come to work and not looked exhausted… you’re overdue for some rest.”

Tommy would argue, except he knows he can’t; she’s right. The twins are growing beautifully, which makes him so happy and relieved… and massive, and miserable. He isn’t upset at the weight he’s gained, he is confident in himself enough to know he can lose it once they're born (and honestly even if he doesn’t lose a single pound, he is so happy both babies are healthy and thriving he wouldn’t care). However, he’s not been allowed to lift above his head since he announced the pregnancy, and getting something from lower than his waist at this point is damn near impossible. Lacey says he shouldn’t be carrying anything more than 15 pounds; and between the twins using his bladder and his lower spine for kickboxing practice, he is either in the bathroom or pacing the hanger trying to ease the back pain. 

He’s exhausted from the lack of sleep the pain is causing, and he needs help doing pretty much anything that’s not sitting and typing, and that is not something they even need him at the station to do. Collier has been trying to convince him to work from home for a couple months… Tommy’s just— Hell even he’s not a hundred percent sure why he’s holding on to working for so long… He looks past Collier and Lucy at the helicopter’s, and he can’t even fly at the moment, but it’s been nice being near them. Watching them take off, watching them come back… he misses it. He’s going to miss this, and his team. “You’re probably right…” he finally admits. “I guess I should take advantage of the last few weeks of calm.” 

Lucy smiles, and hugs him. “Good for you; you have more than earned a break,” she says squeezing him. “I’m gonna miss you, Kinard.” 

“I’ll miss you too, Luce,” he replies, voice soft and shaky. 

“Hey,” she says, pulling back to wipe the tears that are starting to fall from both their eyes. “This is not a forever goodbye, okay? I am going to come by and get my baby fix every day I have off… you’re gonna be so tired of me!” 

“Never,” he laughs.

Tagging: @onthewaytosomewhere @30somethingautisticteacher @judymarch15 @nine-one-wanton

@bidisasterevankinard @kinardsevan @somethingaboutfirefly @bucksxkinard @mmso-notlikethat

@sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction @marvelousbuckley

And anyone else who wants to share their writing 🫶🫶

[vickyvicarious]

Mina:  "I never knew either father or mother, so that the dear old man’s death is a real blow to me. Jonathan is greatly distressed."

Mina writing to Lucy how she feels about Mr Hawkins' death because no one but Jonathan can understand why she's in mourning… Writing because she cannot open up about how Jonathan's illness is wearing her down and how the responsibilities are piling up on her and she's struggling to keep a cheerful, brave face for Jonathan so she won't break his nerve even more...

She must have debated to write this to Lucy at all, because she's begging Lucy to forgive her for disturbing her happiness with her issues. This is a cry for help, she wants her best friend to come and hug her... She needs a shoulder to cry on...

Oh, absolutely. Draft version Kate Reed aside, it's clear that Mina doesn't really have close friends other than Lucy. She might hear gossip from "the girls", but there is no one else she can confide in or depend upon. It's just Jonathan, Lucy, and in a way Mr. Hawkins. And now her entire little support circle is being taken away from her... She's trying to be strong for Jonathan, probably was trying to be strong for Mr. Hawkins too when he took them in while so ill himself. She tried to be happy in her last letter so as not to burden Lucy who, as far as she knew, was healthy and happy and preparing for her wedding. (Also, she knew Lucy would likely be facing her mother's death at some point soon, and probably didn't want to add any stress before that inevitability.)

But she has no one else, and she needs someone! This is definitely a cry for help, she's asking Lucy to support her, to comfort her. She's asking for someone else to be the strong one, even if for only a moment, so that she can break down and give full vent to her grief and fear.

...And Lucy never sees the letter.

[sa1808fi]

Lucy's character development throughout all the Lego movies is interesting, mostly because she's spent a long time hiding her personality in different ways. Despite talking about being different and not conforming to Lord Business's ways, she ended up conforming in a different way to another group of people instead.

I mean if you look into it, originally she worked for Business and wrote 'Everything is Awesome', which ended up being used as a way to manipulate the population so that they would follow all of the rules that Business made without question. Once Lucy found out about those plans that would ruin thousands of lives (Including hers), she ran away from everything that reminded her of the life she used to have working for a dictator and unknowingly helping his plans.

She tried so hard to change herself from who she used to be (she did succeed), but ended up trading her individuality and what actually made her special for a completely different persona that really didn't make her as happy as she pretended it did.

I think that's why she hated Emmet so much when she first met him.

Lucy probably spent years training her skills to defeat Business because she felt so guilty for unknowingly helping the evil overlord.

So seeing all of her efforts to redeem herself be thrown away, because the universe deemed this random unqualified construction worker (who really didn't seem all that different compared to the other people under Business' thumb) more worthy of the piece of resistance has got to hurt.

But then as the movie progresses, she slowly starts to realize that while Emmet is your stereotypical worker drone, he doesn't let that drag him down. He doesn't change himself because he's happy the way he is, despite how everyone else tries to change him.

Going back to my original point, despite preaching about everyone being special in their own way, the second movie starts with everyone building a new society from the ground up, where being tough and gritty is the norm and expected.

But this time instead of having a whole other community of master builders who have been challenging the norm for years (Since now the master builders are also following the social expectations), it's just Emmet challenging everyone's worldview.

Lucy keeps trying to make him listen to her, and teach him that to protect himself he has to change the way he is. It worked for her, it's how she escaped from Business, so why can't he do it too?

I don't think she realizes how she's acting. She's spent a long time forcing herself to be tough and it's normal for her. She pushes down every part of Lucy down to become Wyldstyle (Only really letting Lucy out around Emmet), so that's what she expects of Emmet.

It really isn't until the end does she finally let her be herself.

Just been having Lucy thoughts lately.

[whump-captain]

- Day 26 -

Prompt: Unstable

---

A few days late, but still!! I really like this scene even though the prose is a bit affected by how on-and-off i wrote it. It's just angst and misery and spooky possession with a side dish of violent devotion (◡‿◡)

Heed the content notes, there's no subtext in this one. A big theme in Kintsugi is people and circumstances trying to force Ethan to abandon pieces of who he is. This is what happens when he almost does.

---

CN: explicit suicidal intent, planning suicide, inadequate/incompetent comfort, captivity, mentioned gun use, mentioned broken nose, mentioned human experimentation, past loss of limb, mentioned past torture/interrogation, possession, self-hatred, swearing.

---

There was a bed in the cell but Lucy didn’t use it. It was opposite the door and it left her exposed to whoever came through it; she couldn’t fall asleep like that. Instead, she had pulled the thin blanket to the floor with her and slept there, against the wall. Next to the vent that led to the other cell, where they kept Ethan.

She could hear him through that vent; they could talk to each other. Initially, it had been the only contact she’d had with him. Then she’d broken two people’s noses and they had allowed her to be present in the lab which they dragged him away to every day. Through the thick glass, she couldn’t talk to him. She could only watch as they cut him open and imagine her helpless rage taking form, spilling out to burn this whole vile place to the ground.

The wall was cold against her back. The ache in her limbs was colder, exhaustion weighing her down like a metre of snow. The lights had just come on, which meant it was morning. How long she’d been awake, she couldn’t tell. She sat next to the vent, legs outstretched, waiting for her thoughts to take shape. It took longer each day. She’d never thought she could run out of things to think. But all she had were dead end plans, pointless regrets, and the corrosive anger that she barely had the strength to feel anymore. So in defence, her mind went blank.

There was a rustle in the other cell. Then a sharp inhale, barely audible through the vent. Then another, coming quick and stuttering until they came together into what sounded as crying.

Lucy dug her fingers into the fabric of her hoodie. She tried to keep her voice level when she said to the vent: "Hey. You awake?”

There was no answer, save for the creak of the bed and a soft gasp of pain. Lucy’s hands curled tighter into useless fists. She didn’t know what to say. What to do, other than to murder every single person responsible for where they both were.

Quietly, she said: “Pull yourself together. Don't let them see you crack."

Maybe she meant it towards herself, too.

"Fuck you,” Ethan answered. His voice trembled but there was fire in it. Lucy looked away. In the silence, machinery hummed somewhere in the distance; a looming growl of the facility’s guts.

"I can't do this,” he whispered. “I can’t.”

"What?"

"I- I can’t. Not again.” He sounded strained, as if talking through his teeth.

Lucy pressed her fist against the floor to stop herself from punching it. She could barely breathe for the fury that burned inside her lungs; the only warm thing in this horrible, frozen place. She hated this facility, she hated Memory, she hated all of I.R.I.S for tricking her out of her own life and then running it into the ground. So when she could, she would let that heat erupt, she would fight and spit until they had to put her in handcuffs.

It never helped. She couldn’t lie to herself that they were the real target of her anger. Every time she heard Ethan’s shaking voice, or his screams inside the lab, she remembered it was all her fault.

She hated nobody more than she hated herself for doing this to him.

When he spoke again, he sounded weary: "Next time they come…” he paused. “Can you attack them?"

Lucy looked at the vent. "What?"

"Can you… distract them? Throw something, start a fight, anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"They have guns,” he said. Then, the silence was long enough for Lucy’s mind to click but he spoke before she could: “I want to grab one."

"Ethan-" A cold weight began to twist itself into her stomach.

"They can't stop me,” he continued. His voice was level now, controlled. It made Lucy's blood run colder than the sound of screaming ever did. With horrifying calm, he said: “I just need one bullet. In the head, right through the brain. It can't bring me back from that."

"Ethan, what the fuck are you talking about?”

"I can't do this again." There was no more fear in his voice, no emotion at all. Just the awful serenity of a decision made. “I’d rather-"

"Don't you fucking dare say that,” she snapped.

"You can't stop me either,” he said quietly.

"Fuck you, Ethan,” she growled into the vent. “I risked my life to get you out of this fucking complex. Do you know why?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I do.” She ignored the ice in his voice, even though she could picture his glare. “Finally.” She took a breath. It did nothing to loosen the tightness in her throat.

“Because you have a future to witness,” she said. “Because there's so much you still have to do. These are your words, remember?" Maybe that was why they didn’t sound hollow, for once." I said that you were gonna die here and you told me to go fuck myself. When Linde was beating the shit out of you, you could have laid down and died but you didn't. You just- kept going, for that fucking future you have."

She forced her voice down as it faltered. She clenched her teeth tight.

"And I want that." It came out as a growl, choked with gathering tears. "I'm fucking jealous of you."

Lucy slammed her fist into the floor. She put everything into that strike, all her regret and frustration; the lino answered with a dull thud. The empty walls swam in her vision and she blinked rapidly until they became one again.

"Don't just fucking drop that, okay?" she said quietly.

For a while, the cell was silent. Not a rustle from the other side of the wall. Then Ethan's spoke again, soft and desperate:

"I can't. I- I can't, it's-" his voice cracked. The hollow determination dissolved. "They took my hand. It's gone."

The last word hitched on a sharp, involuntary breath. There was a small thump on the wall and then a sound of shifting fabric. He was on the floor now, Lucy could hear him hyperventilating.

She pulled her knees up to her chest. "Yeah. It's- it's fucked,” she rasped. Her throat burned. She couldn't even find the words to comfort him. What the fuck was she good for? All she could was murder, lie, and steal.

But stealing words had worked before. Somehow, when they were his, she believed them.

"But that's- you know, that's now," she said. "What will be is separate. It's different. You said that." The memory brought with it emotions that she didn’t understand. "You said that you live for the future. That you always have one, no matter what."

Gradually, the ragged, frantic breathing from behind the wall slowed; then it fell silent. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut to chase away the image of him, curled around his bandaged hand, alone and haunted. The wall between them was cold to the touch.

"I can't think about the future anymore," Ethan whispered. "It- It won't let me."

"You mean-"

"This- this thing. This being. It hates- time." He paused, searching for words. They came frantic, spilling out as if he feared something would strangle them in his throat: "It hates anything that flows. It wants me frozen, it wants me locked right now, right here, forever, and I- I can't take it. I can't breathe. It takes my lungs, it- it stops them, it won't let me breathe. And now my hand, I can't- I can't feel it," he almost choked on a sudden gasp. "It doesn't want me to feel it, it wants it for its own. It wants my voice, too. When I think of the future… It wants me silenced. It wants to cut my throat so that it can stop me. So that it can speak."

The chill that ran down Lucy's spine had nothing to do with the cold of the cell. She knew little about the being that had entered Ethan's body. She knew how it moved, serpentine and glistening; and she knew that it could cheat death. She remembered how it had drunk his blood and spun it into new, golden flesh.

She had been content to think of it as a mindless force, like a snowstorm. Not a captor making demands.

She whispered: "Does it talk to you?"

"I don't- I don’t know,” Ethan stammered. “There's- this certainty in my mind but it's not mine. I can't question it, I can't focus, I don't know how it does it, I don't-"

"Hey, hey, calm down, I don't care," she interrupted loudly, throwing her hands up. She sighed. She never knew what would send him spiralling. But she had no right to be surprised by that. Not after what she herself had done to him.

She spoke as mellowly as she could: "I'm not interrogating you. I don't give a shit how that thing works." She was probably the only person in the complex who didn't. And certainly among the people Ethan could speak to. "I just think-"

She fell silent for a while, trying to chase the thought to give it form. Her mind was a mess. The storm of her feelings got no less violent for the exhaustion that loomed lower over her with every restless night, like gathering clouds.

Slowly, she exhaled." You know. You convinced me," she said. "To- to let you live, to fucking drag you out of the most secure fucking place in North America." Sarcasm crept its way into her voice, masking some of the uncertainty. She scoffed. "And I fucked it up but… You made me do it. You made me want to do it. I couldn't fucking tell you how but- if you could do it again…"

She trailed off. Too quickly, enough time had passed to make it clear she had no planned end for that sentence.

A small tap on the wall told her that Ethan leaned his head against it. They sat back to back, divided by concrete.

"How do I talk to something like that?" he asked hoarsely. Suddenly, Lucy felt incredibly tired.

"I don't know. You're the gobby bastard, you figure it out."

A black veil fell upon her mind once again, enveloping her in a despondent haze. She couldn't find the strength to call herself a hypocrite. There was no doubt in her that these cells were where futures went to die. Sometime soon, she would piss off the guards enough for them to defy their orders and kill her. A fitting end to her brief and pointless tenure in this shithole of a world.

A sound crept in through the vent. Quiet, hitching sobs, with barely enough air in them to grant them trembling pitch. Ethan was weeping. Even with the wall between them, Lucy could see him; curled tight on the floor, with hands buried in his hair and tears clinging to his glasses.

He whispered: "I don't want to go back there."

Her apathy turned to ash. Fury burned it away and spilled into her lungs like gasoline released into an engine.

Maybe she deserved to die here. But not him.

She no longer cared about understanding this feeling. She simply let it set her alight and brand itself into her heart.

She would not stop fighting until Ethan had his future back.

Her own didn't matter. She'd gladly let it burn to light the way for him.

[theflyindutchwoman]

One thing that stood out to me during this episode is how the camerawork was used to highlight Lucy's feeling of isolation. Particularly during the shooting in the alley and at the hospital. In these two scenes, she is seen mostly on her own, separated from everyone. And because of this, it is so easy to relate to her sense of anguish and pain. But at the same time, the camera zooms in on the team. When Lucy is in the alley, we can see how worried Angela and Nyla are. But Lucy can't. When she goes down, we can see the look of horror and fear on their faces. But Lucy can't. And then there's the perfect symbol of her radio being shot down. Her mean of communication with her team is broken, she has to rely on signs. And that's a perfect metaphor. So when Nyla compliments Lucy's ingenuity, we're the only ones who can hear it. Lucy can't. And then, there's the hospital scene where we progressively see Nolan, Bailey, Aaron and Celina showing up for Lucy. But she can't see that because she is in another room, because she has to be isolated pending IA investigation. When Grey asks Wesley how she's holding up, she can't hear that. She can only see the side glances. She is not even technically alone, there's a guard there with her in the room but he can't talk to her. We don't even know if they know each other. The way the camerawork showed the duality of this story is so important. Lucy is technically not alone and yet, you can still feel that sense of isolation. Because it looked like only Tim was there to comfort her. Making him her only lifeline at the moment. And that is going to make the next part even more heartbreaking when he disappears without telling her.

[har-har-harvey]

also, since tumblr won’t let you post more than one video unless they’re links or embeds, here’s a link to another clip i posted that adds a bit more context to the scene :)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[vamprisms]

i like the tv show so far because it's like each of the three main characters is playing a different recent fallout game

[dylanconrique]

tim's dressing up as santa for the kids this year and lucy's gonna be just a little too into it.

[booasaur]

NCIS: Hawai’i - 2x04 - requested by @korralone

[plenaurum]

Thoughts on Luci as a Dino lover

So, I'm doing a Lucifer route after having only done Dino's route in HS 1 and 2. Initially, I thought I'd hate him. I don't like LIs like him, they never did much for me (the whole dark, 'I hate you but love you', 'I don't care about you and like to dangle other women in front of you but I hate it when you even think about other men' type), but this was different and fun to play through (even though it was hard dodging Dino's advances). I thought I'd be more bothered by his wishy-washyness, but honestly? I wasn't. His feelings were so obvious the whole time that it was almost laughable that he even tried hiding them. Like, who tf did he think he was fooling? LMAO. Vicky has him in a chokehold. Anyway, I see why he's so popular (however, LEO is still MY best LI hands down).

Imma stop hating on him ig.

[savingthrcw]

@x-hollywoodghoul-x the second kissy thread for Coop!

There were very few people in this world who could get under her skin the way the Ghoul had, no people, in fact, it was just him, who may not have been as aggressive and cruel as when they had first met, but by existing tempted her to behave in some very not nice ways. And while a part of her was questioning everything she was, because Moldaver had made very clear they had been shaped by what Vault Tec managers wanted for their future wives and husband, and Lucy could even start pintpointing all the little ways she could see it in herself, at the same time she also didn't want to become an entirely new person. Some of the things she had been taught, some of the personality traits she had, were good. She didn't want to be mean. She didn't want to be sarcastic, short with people, jaded. She didn't want to be mad. But oh, she was furious. She was torn apart. She was beyond angry at her father, she was disgusted by Vault Tec, she was heartbroken over her mother. She was all sorts of negative things that she didn't want to be, and suppressing it only worked so much. Still, gritted teeth and all, Lucy had forced herself to be polite, at least when she wasn't lost into one of her involuntary silent times, so busy being sad or rimuginating that she forgot to talk, and she had also forced the Ghoul, as long as he wanted to keep traveling with her, to get sidetracked a few times so she could help people in need. The way that made her feel told Lucy that yes, it was a real part of her, that need to not abandon people to their destiny was not something forced into her head.

The last guy in need was one the Ghoul hadn't trusted one bit, felt just too innocent, and he had been telling her she was wrong to the point of betting on it, betting he'd kiss her booboos, that absolute butthead, except that for once, just for once, her instinct had been right, the man had been telling the truth, and they had taken out a few slavers - talking them down had been useless, and once again she knew she had been far too violent when forced into hand to hand combat, something she prayed he'd just let pass without commenting on it - which had also meant getting their hands on their supplies, a win for both of them. She had been right. And she really, really wanted to be the bigger person, she should be, it was the correct way to handle their relationship, considering they had to keep traveling together and hostility would bring nothing good to the table-"I thought you'd say you'd kiss my booboos if I was right?" And so, bad instincts had won.

"What did people say before the war, 'put your money where your mouth is'? Though I suppose you'd be putting your mouth where your mouth was... Unless you want to take it back, of course," a magnanimous offer, "And just verbally and clearly admit that I was right, you were wrong, and you owe me an amount of caps to be determined."

[xanvasofxords]

“How long... just how long do you plan on being like this?!”

She almost yells, a tear strolling down her cheek as she looks the other way and bites down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. He silently watches her. Maybe he finally gets it, gets her frustration.

Perhaps he’ll tell her now...

And he does speaks up.

“I’m... sorry, Luce.” The apology is as loud as a whisper, followed by an exhale that speaks thousands of unknown words. She can’t read his expression in the dimmed light, she just hopes that he tells her about his nightmare.

She wants to chase his pain away in any way she can. She wants ro know what’s it that frightens him so much. Because she watches him suffer everyday, against something she assumes so vicious that he’s scared of even falling asleep. And it eats her from inside.

She feels useless when he lays his head on her lap and she runs her fingers through his unruly hair. And she feels useless when she sees him stare into the void, so lost in his thoughts to answer her call. Sometimes he abruptly grasp her hand and squeezes, as if to make sure she’s real.

She misses his usual antics, his big smile and the enthusiastic shout of his catchphrase. Misses going on jobs with him and scolding him for going overboard with his powers. And she misses when everything was normal and he didn’t look so miserable with the dark bags under his eyes.

How did it come to this?

Her chain of thoughts is broken by him, “I should’ve known... I’m being a pain in the ass, right?” She hears a faint chuckle and watches him get off the bed and stop before her.

“Is that what you believe?”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

She moves closer to him and says, “Just tell me about it, I can’t... see you like this anymore. Natsu, please.”

There’s a moment of silence before he sighs and shakes his head. He takes a few steps back, putting some distance between them and doesn’t look her in the eye when he speaks.

“I can’t. I’m... sorry.”

After that, he silently leaves the room.

[fluffypotatey]

the division between trust and love

the question on whether what Snow and Lucy Gray had was really love

the question of whether someone as evil as Snow could be human

the horror of realizing that love was never enough