•congrats on knowing me carnally cause if you can find or have found me other places, i’m only like this here but damn if we aren’t the mask and the wearer baybe•dear god please feel free and maybe even compelled to ask me questions and interact with my original posts i am obsessed with the mortifying ordeal of being known
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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And the thing is, and I have to emphasize again that this isn't happening, that if they did kiss in the boys as fan service it wouldn't even be ANYTHING because dean wouldn't be there to take over the vessel and kiss cas with tongue. and people will walk away thinking "wow the Destiel kiss really would have been two coconuts colliding" BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH!!!
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hey, white woman! are you afraid? scared? feel as if no matter what you do you'll never be truly safe? do you struggle to feel safe even in your own home? are you afraid?
well you should be! danger lurks around every shadowy corner and a strangers heart is filled with nothing but malice!
luckily, I have just the product for you. this little piece of rubber stops your door from being opened, isn't that useful? here, have a doorbell that records video of everybody who passes your house. check out our latest line of sparkly brass knuckle keychainals! they will definitely keep you safe. here take this bar you can stick under your doorknob to prevent your neighbor with a bit of a drinking problem from uhh subjecting you to horrors we dare not name. that'll be $200 dollars but you can't put a price on safety, can you?
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My sister beat her assault charge!! 🙏😍
(self-defense against her shitty boyfriend)
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The way I have to rip all the rings off my fingers as fast as I can and throw them to the ground right before I finger fuck someone is comical. Like give me a second to shed me layers.
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I have a head cannon that Dick isn’t as phased by things in Gotham as the rest of the batfam. Per my post about Dick getting to do whatever he wanted as Robin, I feel like Bruce learned what he should censor for the other Robins but he only learned that by having Dick experience it first. So now Dick will just walk into the most cult like violent scenes and he’ll just be walking around like he’s in a Home Depot. Like one of my favorite panels of Dick is when he is with the titans and he tastes the “blood” on the floor to see if it’s blood or not. I just feel like he does stuff like this all the time and Jason and Tim stare at him like he’s insane.
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Batman and Robin!Jason, who are getting to interrogate some criminal (they need his confession and he just won't budge) for the first time together, and Jason begs Bruce to allow him to be a bad cop. That's like, a total opposite of Dick, who loved being good cop, while B interrogated the hell out of them.
But Jason? Bad Cop? It is... funny.
Jaybin. In these cutest shorts, toothy smirk, and overexcitment?
But Bruce can't say no, so he just nods along, thinking that criminal would probably be too scared of his presence anyway to not confess. Expect, criminal isn't, and Jason is grilling his ass in a surprising manner that makes Gordon whistle in another room.
Criminal: Ha, as if I am going to say anything to a kid. How old are you, ten?
Jaybin, scoffing: Was it how old were you when your daddy threw you on the streets?
Criminal, pausing: W-what. How did you...
Jaybin, casually: Oh, I know everything, buddy. You were always stealing, weren't you? Almost made your daddy lose his job... Eh, you would think that with all these years under your belt, you would at least learn how to be discreet. But, nope, same old disappointment.
Criminal, flaring up protectively: I am discreet! I am very discreet!
Jaybin: Discreet my ass! Your attempt to break into the house was caught within five minutes because your ass forgot to turn the security on! And you left your pliers that you used to break the fence on the roadside! How is that discreet?!
Criminal, hitting his hand against the table: Listen here, you pipsqueak, first of all — how could I know that there is a security?!
Jaybin, rolling his eyes: You didn't even do research. Wonderful.
Criminal, stuttering: A-and, second of all, I threw it away in panic. I left no fingertips, so now what?! Huh?!
Jaybin, disappointingly shaking his head: All of these troubles, and you barely got to steal stuff. That's, like, super lever embarrassing, my dude.
Criminal: IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I GOT DISTRACTED BY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIVING THERE!!!! I WOULD RETURN FOR MORE, YOU LITTLE JACKASS.
Jaybin, blinking: Woah. No surprise, Daddy kicked you out, dude. You are kinda dumb.
Jaybin, returning to his beaming mode: Hey, B, I think, we have a confession!
Batman, flabbergasted: G-good work, chump.
Jaybin: (bashful giglging)
Bruce, in the car: So... How did you know his family history?
Jason, shrugging: Oh, streets talk. Also, that jackass stole food when I was nine. Always wanted to make him pay for that.
Bruce: Aren't you very... revengeful...
Jason: Hehe.
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The humble and beautiful PDF does not deserve to now have the term “PDF file” be a censored version of the word pedophile. She has been nothing but good to us. You all apologize right now
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i love how everyone on this website is kind of pathetic it brings such a sense of understanding and community
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The fact that late 90s/early 2000s cartoons had this running joke of getting hit in the general chest area, then yelling "ouch my spleen", really opens some comedic potential for batfam fics based in canons where Tim looses his spleen.
Jason would be the one to start the trend for the other batkids, randomly remembering it from his favorite childhood cartoons (which he has introduced the others to at various points)and jumping at the opportunity during the next sparring session with Tim, Just because he is *that* petty toward him. Makeing sure that Steph is there to whitness it.
His plan is simple: Bait Tim to hit him in the chest by being both aggressive and also
Mleaveing his guard whide open arround this area. It might hurt, but it is a sacrifice he is willing to make. Tim falls for it but the punch barely connects as Jason falls backwards yelling "ouch my spleeeen" barely containing his shiteating grin. Tim is flabbergasted not realizeing what he means, until it clicks: oh you motherfucker you did not. But the damage is done, Jason has resurected childhood memories for Steph as well and this chaos gremlin will spread it to the others.
Now the two of them will yell it when ever they get non seriously injured (for batfam standards) until the others adopt it.
Dick only does so when Tim is not around like the good big brother he is (it will happen inevitably though Out of habit).
Jason will when ever he remembers to do it, as do Steph and Duke.
Cass will laugh when it happens but not participate.
Damian and Bruce don't do it. Damian because it's does not hold any significance to him as the youngest and because it's illogical to him to do so. Bruce won't because he doesn't want to be mean. Alfred and Barbara don't as they are almost always out of harms way.
But the funniest situation would be when TIM will say it. For example in connection to the reveal from that one @mentallyunawareofpapaya Post: One day after returning from visiting Thalia, either Jason or Damian tell Tim (as a damage report or as a prank) that Ra's or one of his henchmen have dropped the spleen jar, only for Tim in total disbelieve to whisper "*my spleen*".
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what they don't tell you is that after you turn 30 you have ocasional but powerful bouts of home ownership fever, which is like baby fever but instead of randomly really wanting a baby you go on zillow and look at modest properties you will nonetheless never be able to afford. and then it passes and you're like wtf was that about. yay time for another $6 coffee to stave off the dread
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very big fan of the idea that damian doesn't know how to express his affection directly to other people or else he will Implode™︎ so he just. drops paper stars into their utility belts.
tim hasn't actively tried to kill him the past week? three yellow stars in his back pocket.
grayson ruffled his hair once and he stomped out in a huff. the next time he tries to rummage around his bag, he finds like 10 paper stars just. inside. no bag for protection, just kind of all littered and slightly smushed because god knows how long they've been sitting there.
jon gets a whole mason jar's worth of them over the years, neatly placed on his nightstand so that he can look at them before he goes to bed.
in damian's mind, it's a nod to that one saying that goes "i'd give you the stars"; he just hopes they're smart enough to understand what it means.
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