har-har-harvey

[har-har-harvey]

[har-har-harvey]

[har-har-harvey]

reminder to all 14-19 year olds girls. that grown man does not like you. you are a victim

[har-har-harvey]

Still feels weird that the same band made "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"

[har-har-harvey]

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

[har-har-harvey]

let’s be real the best tumblr has EVER looked was the short span of time where you could slap code into posts and we had classics like these

tumblr has never been closer to the core aesthetic and sense of humor of its userbase 

[har-har-harvey]

absolutely trippin on chocolate brownies (remembers brownies are a common vessel for edibles) normal brownies (remembers how lame that sounds) that have drugs in them (doesn’t want to lie that i use drugs) the drugs are love (doesn’t want to sound corny) and guns

[har-har-harvey]

When I was a kid I had a book of like, "fun physics experiments for kids". And one of them was an "experiment" where you hold an object by a string and just by focusing on the direction you wanted it to swing, it would start to move in that direction even without your input. The book of course explained that this was the ideomotor effect, a phenomenon where your thoughts can create minute, unconscious movements in your body.

Then a couple years later I got a fortune-telling kit that included a pendulum. You hold the pendulum over a piece of paper that says "yes" and "no" and ask a question, and whichever way the pendulum moves is the answer.

At which point I was like "hey WAIT a minute", and in hindsight I think that experience explains most things about who I am as a person

[har-har-harvey]

I still find it funny that one of the questions of The Last Stand exam was translating "Pedo Mellon a Minno" to "Speak friend and enter", something virtually impossible to do without outside knowledge of Lord of the Rings. Brennan was like, "I am entirely confident one of my nerd ass friends (Siobhan) will have this locked and loaded." And he was right.

[har-har-harvey]

I don’t know if anyone will be able to do it like a starstruck odyssey did it. Being on your phone is 100% the right thing to do in a battle sometimes. Two guys make out sloppy style while the slugs in their brain duke it out. Entire armies of space ships are being put on hold by the psychic comms officer. Unhinged, all of it. No one is doing it like the Wurst

[har-har-harvey]

[har-har-harvey]

[har-har-harvey]

based on this textpost by @orangeyjuicy !!

[har-har-harvey]

best part of running games of jackbox for random library teens was definitely all the times when jackbox would prompt them to be vulgar and i would be like i hope everyone can really impress me with how clever and not obvious their jokes are and this completely worked on them they were like i must find a joke even better than cum. but is it possible...? i must try. for Her. a woman who i just met who works at the library

[har-har-harvey]

i think villains in general provide better, more epic romances because they're allowed to go to extremes. they're allowed to put their love over the greater good. they're allowed to be selfish. the best a hero can offer you is number two, because their duty comes first. villains, though. villains will burn down the world for a last kiss goodbye.

[har-har-harvey]

Earlier I was scrolling Reddit and I come across a post in r/shrooms, a sub reddit dedicated to psychadelic mushrooms and frequently featuring entries from users who are posting during a trip.

A guy posts, freaking out, that the delivery person who dropped off his food had a huge snake wrapped around his neck and the snake was talking to him and tripped him out.

He shares a picture ne sneakily took of the delivery driver.

The delivery driver actually does, in fact, have a live 7 or so foot long boa constrictor draped across his shoulders.

Can you fucking image. Being blasted out of your gourd on hallucinogenic substances, getting a random knock at the door and the guy has a live gigantic snake just chilling. Your head would explode

[har-har-harvey]

Hal: what's that?

Bruce: *intense glaring on J'onn*

J'onn: *vibing*

Barry: who knows? *drinks smoothie*

Meanwhile Bruce and J'onn telepathically:

Bruce: I'm sending good vibes in your direction *bat-glare* do not resist

J'onn: this is terrifically nice of you, thank you, Batman

...

Dick: there are good things coming your way, you can't escape, they are going to get you

M'gann: that's ominously sweet of you, thanks