#and Lena feels bad so peels her off the glass

[shallow-seas-we-sail]

Lena presses her hip into the side of the sink and crosses her arms. The bathroom is sticky and humid; her hair is beginning to curl outwards and she has been listening to Sam ramble on about her date for nearly twenty minutes as she wastes all of her hot water.

“So, what's her name?” Lena asks as she turns and raises her hand, drawing little hearts into the foggy glass over the bathroom sink, “You’ve told me every other sordid detail. Things I won't be able to erase from my mind without some advancement in technology or a bullet.”

She can hear Sam hum from behind the frosted glass of the stall, “Alex,” she says stretching the two syllables of her name. It sounds disgustingly like she is waking up in the warm, early light of morning, easing herself out of a beautiful dream.

Gross.

“We didn’t even make it past drinks,” Sam says, “It’s like we both just felt this pull. And the next thing I know I’m on the back of her motorcycle, and we are heading back to her place.”

Lena shifts her weight when she hears the water turn off, and reaches for the towel hanging on the hook behind the door as Sam cracks open the shower door and sticks out a wet hand. She hands her friend the towel and leans back against the bathroom sink.

“It was..” Sam starts as she pushes open the shower door and steps out, towel wrapped securely around her, “I’ve never felt that kind of connection with someone. It was just...” she trails off as she comes up beside Lena and swipes her hand through the condensation on the mirror and breaks a few dozen little hearts, “amazing.”

Lena turns and catches her friend's gaze in the mirror reflecting back at her, and Sam looks absolutely smitten; kind of dumbstruck and glowing and not a thought behind those dark eyes beyond Alex.

Lena can’t help but to roll her eyes a little.

“I’m happy you got laid.”

Sam shakes her head as she reaches for her toothbrush, “It wasn’t just that. We made love.”

Lena can barely hold back the snort in the back of her throat at that and Sam bumps her shoulder into hers, “I’m serious. It felt like she was touching my soul. Jesus, is this what it feels like to be you?”

Lena picks up her toothbrush and actually scoffs at that, “I’ve seen you come back from multiple one night stands, giddy from the dopamine rush of multiple orgasms and ready to peel the paint  off the walls from the lack of them.”

Sam squirts a glob of toothpaste onto her own toothbrush and turns on the water, “Yeah, and this wasn’t that. I mean, the orgasms were. They were...” Sam shakes her head as she sticks her toothbrush into her mouth, “earth shattering. I feel bad for her neighbors.”

Okay, Lena gets that. She still can’t look the Saturday night cleaning crew in the eye a week later after her first encounter with Kara.

“Can you get off the fact that I’m some soggy, touch-starved bottom looking for love from any girl that passes her on the street? Because I’m not,” Lena states, shoving her own toothbrush into her mouth.

“Can you get off any other way? Because you can’t,” Sam shoots back.

“Just because I want a connection and affirmation in my relationships doesn’t mea-”

“Affirmations? Is that what we’re calling it now?” Sam says out of the side of her mouth before dipping her head and spitting, “A praise kink by any other name...” she trails off.

“Be a good girl and step out so I can change,” Sam purrs into the bristly head of her toothbrush and Lena’s face screws up into a sour expression.

“Ugh, ew. Shut up.”

continue on ao3 or

Sam smirks and Lena finishes brushing her teeth in silence, and only reluctantly lets her friend join her in her bedroom for a sleepover when Sam returns from changing, hovering in the bathroom doorway with a pouting lip, arms outstretched, making grabby hands and spouting apologies.

“I know family is an icky word to you, but you’re like a sister. I only give you a hard time because I love you,” Sam says, throwing back a corner of the blankets as she settles into the bed beside Lena. She pushes into her side, and loops her arm through Lena’s as she rests her head on her shoulder.

“I have a date tomorrow, but I want you to third wheel it with me and meet Alex.”

Lena rolls her eyes, “That is going to make it so weird.”

Sam shakes her head, “I want my sister to meet my future wife.”

“Oh my god,” Lena groans as she reaches out and shuts off the light on her bedside table, “Your future wife?”

“Mhm,” Sam hums sleepily in the dark, “and you’re going to be my maid of honor and I’m going to have her babies and Ruby is going to be a big sister. I planned it all out on my Uber ride here.”

Lena smiles at that; the idea of a beaming Sam at the altar, beautiful in white with big, shiny eyes staring at her wife. She doesn’t expect the little pinch of jealousy in her chest as Sam sinks down in the bed, pulling Lena along with her as she stretches out.

“It’s an art gallery thingy tomorrow, so wear that green dress. It makes your ass look great,” Sam says quietly, and as if reading Lena’s mind adds, “maybe you’ll meet your future wife. Then we can double date and double marry and have babies and raise our tiny humans together.”

Lena closes her eyes and tries not to hope.

Obsidian North.

Lena swears she’s seen it before. Perhaps in one of the hundred grant proposals that cross her desk every quarter, but she honestly doesn’t know, or frankly, care. This is decidedly not an art gallery thing, and Lena fights back the urge to grind her teeth at the audacious asshole gallery that she has walked into instead. Sam is a ball of anxious energy beside her, tugging Lena none so gently across the room, in between throngs of  celebrity faces and tech moguls. She catches a glimpse of Elon out of the corner of her eye talking to a very uninterested Dwayne Johnson and Lena vaguely wonders if the steep drop of Tesla stock over the past few days is the cause for his neck brace rather than the CatCo fiasco the previous week.

Whatever the case is, Lena is happy to buy up all the tickets to this asshole’s downfall and is content to sit back and watch him burn through forty-four billion dollars for a bird app that won’t stop crashing while his trash lithium battery empire goes up in flames like one of his Model 3’s.

But then Sam comes to an abrupt stop, which sends Lena nearly crashing into her side.

“There she is,” Sam says in that stupid, dreamy tone from the night before, and Lena scans the room before her eyes settle on a redhead at the bar.

And, shit, Lena may not know the name of the company she walked into, but she does at least remember the stoic redhead that crashed the CatCo dinner last weekend and spent ten minutes arguing with a flustered Cat Grant in the center of an active crime scene.

Lena clears her throat and nods her head towards the bar, “Then go get your girl.”

Sam smiles at that and glances in Lena’s direction, “That’s my girl,” she says with a bubble of excitement, “Okay, yeah,” Sam dips her head and flattens her hands down her dress, ironing out imaginary winkles.

“How do I look?”

“Disgustingly in love.” Lena quips, and pushes her friend playfully in the shoulder, “Go. I’ll order a drink down at the bar and then casually meet you in five minu-..” but Sam is already gone, slipping into the crowd towards the bar when Lena hears her name float up from behind her.

“Lena?”  

A breath constricts in the center of her chest, and Lena tries to convince herself that maybe she is just hearing things in between the drone of conversations happening around her, but then she feels a hand on her shoulder and hears her name again, a little more confident sounding this time and with an accent she hasn’t heard hang on to it in years.

“Lena, oh my god. That is you!”

And then suddenly Lena is spinning on her heels against her will towards a voice and Andrea is there, eyes wide and smile beaming like she didn’t drag Lena and her heart over a trail of open coals years ago. No, she’s looking at Lena in some sort of soft adoration that settles under her skin in all the wrong ways.

Lena opens her mouth and blinks dumbly a few times and somewhere in the foggy shock of her mind she is vaguely aware she is gawking.

“I know,” Andrea says casually, flipping her hands, “it’s been years. Goddamn, you look amazing,” her eyes flickering up and down Lena’s body, “was that Sam I saw with you?”

Finally, Lena’s brain jump starts and she nods dumbly, “Uh, yea-” she chuckles incredulously, “I’m sorry, what are you doing here?”

Andrea narrows her eyes before glancing over her shoulder towards the gold plated words in the lobby.

“This is my company. Tonight is the unveiling of our new VR product. I sent you an invite a few months ago, didn’t you get it?”

(She did; she had just given Jess strict instructions to forward any Rojas mail directly to National City landfill.)

Lena arches an eyebrow and enunciates the word as slowly as she can, “No.”

Andrea gives a stiff nod at the answer and glances down. “Of course. I should have expected as much. But you’re here now, so that’s something. I’d love to talk to you about Obsidian North Platniu-”

Lena raises her hand, effectively stopping the woman in front of her, “Andrea, frankly I don’t care. Had I known what this was, or who was holding it, I can assure you I would not have come. Don’t mistake this as an olive branch, because it isn’t.”

Yes. Lena inwardly gives herself a celebratory high five. She’s not falling for deep, brown honey eyes and a sexy accent. No, not this time.

Andrea swallows hard, “Right. I understand. It’s just-” she trails off, “Looking at you, I’m reminded of all the horrible things I’ve done. But the years have been kind, let me make it up to you.”

“Funny,” Lena says, snagging a wine glass from a server's tray as they pass by, “every time I look at you all I remember is pain.”

“We had good times,” Andrea says sweetly, dropping her voice as she takes a step into Lena’s space, causing her to roll her eyes as she takes a sip of lukewarm Chardonnay, “Come to dinner with me.”

Lena drops the glass from her lips as Andrea takes another step closer; dangerously close, and brings her hand up, lightly gripping Lena’s elbow, “Just dinner.”

( Oh , the audacity of this woman after trying to siphon tens of millions out of Lena all while under the guise of a whirlwind romance. Fuck her and her fucking fuckton of nerve.)

Goosebumps prick up along Lena’s arm (decidedly not the good kind), and she takes a step back, nearly colliding with a solid form that has suddenly appeared behind her. The glass in her hand jostles, but a warm, steady presence is there, cradling her arm in one hand and resting a hand on her hip with the other.

“Hey, babe. There you are,” Kara says sweetly, dipping her head and pressing a kiss to Lena’s cheek, “ Play along,” she whispers discreetly as she pulls away.

Right. Yeah. Lena can play along because what else is she going to do? This is absolutely her life right now.

The sly smirk pulling at Andrea’s lips suddenly falters before anchoring down in a straight line, “ Oh,”

Lena turns her head and is met with a confident smile from Kara, who looks not only pleased with herself for the sudden interruption, but whose eyes are unabashedly focused on Lena as though she is the only person in the room, and Lena feels like she might fall into those pools of dark blue and be devoured.

And god, what a way to go.

“I was just at the bar getting our drinks,” Kara says before turning her focus to Andrea and extending her hand, “I’m Kara, the girlfriend.”

(Those goosebumps are back, and are decidedly the good kind this time around.)

“Andrea Rojas,” she says, taking Kara’s hand in a weak shake that somehow only involves the tips of her fingers.

(Lena is impressed at the cordial display of only minimal bitchiness on Andrea’s behalf.)

“ The woman of the hour,” Kara quips, “I’d love to get an exclusive if you have some time. I work with CatCo and Ms. Grant loves a good story with a woman in charge,” Kara says, dropping her hand from Lena’s arm and slipping it into her pants pocket, “I’ve got a business card here if you just gimme a seco-”

Andrea waves off Kara’s effort, “That won’t be necessary,” she says, suddenly becoming interested in the watch on her wrist, “Right now I have a speech to make, so if you’ll excuse me.”

Kara keeps her hand snuggly in her pocket, and slips her arm a little more securely around Lena’s waist, pulling her close, “Right, of course.”

Lena doesn’t think she’s ever seen Andrea retreat so quickly (or her ego bruised so badly.) She slinks her way through the crowd, bumping into bodies before finally getting pushed up against an eager Elon who is balancing three small plates of appetizers in his hands. He mumbles something through a mouthful of cocktail shrimp before Andrea lets go of a frustrated yowl, smacking the plates out of his hand and causing the room to grow quiet as a sea of celebrity heads turn.

Andrea storms off, and Elon just stands there, stunned, confused and forever stupid. Benign chatter starts back up and Lena can’t help but laugh. She turns into Kara’s side, resting her head momentarily against her shoulder before looking up. Kara’s eyes are crinkled at the corners behind dark frames as she laughs along with Lena, and god, she loves this woman.

(And it’s just that fucking simple , isn’t it? And so what if it’s only been a week? Time constraints be damned. Kara has bloomed in the walls of Lena's heart and she honestly couldn’t root her out if she tried.)

“Where did you come from?” Lena asks and Kara hums.

“Super hearing,” she says, bringing her hand up and tapping her ear, “and it sounded like you were having a terrible time.”

Understatement of the year.

“I’m having a much better time now, so thank you.” Lena says so dumbly that she can't believe those cheesy words somehow tumble out of her mouth.

“Yeah?” Kara asks, turning fully towards Lena and dips her head, bringing her lips dangerously close to Lena’s, “so am I.”

Kiss me, kiss me skips and repeats in Lena’s head and she can feel the warm puffs of air against her lips and Lena is damn near ready to plead because she really really deserves this after being dragged by her best friend to what is most likely some grift job by her ex-girlfriend and Lena just wants to maybe be held in strong, warm arms and watch Is It Cake? with a possibly, maybe future girlfriend who somehow keeps showing up at the most opportune times in her life.

(So, please god, if you’re listening, Lena Luthor deserves a kiss.)

“But really, where did you come from?” Lena breathes out as Kara’s nose brushes against her own softly, “Or are you eavesdropping on me for any awkward interactions with my exes?”

Kara chuckles at that before pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Lena’s mouth, “Once upon a time from beyond the stars, but now I’m from here and there,” Kara says, turning her head and motioning towards the bar, “I was getting a drink and overheard you. I hope I didn’t impose, unless-”

Kara’s expression suddenly shifts, serious and concerned, “You wanted to go to dinner with your very evil ex-girlfriend?”

Lena snorts and rolls her eyes and pushes a hand playfully into the blonde's shoulder, “You’re insufferable,” she huffs, “and no, I would rather not. But with you, I’d consider it.”

She doesn’t mean to bring up the idea of a date; it just sorta slips out and Lena fears she has made a grave miscalculation. What if this is just a fling? What if this is just a bit of fun for Kara and-

“I’d love that.” Kara cuts right through Lena’s self sabotaging brain, bringing it to a merciful, sputtering stop.

“You promise your phone will be charged if I give you a call to make plans or-” Kara starts in with a bright smile.

“Oh, ha ha ,” Lena deadpans, “literal genius can’t keep her phone charged.”

Kara shrugs and takes a step back as she offers her hand to Lena, “It’s like, the number one rule of phone sex,”

Lena tsks and rolls her eyes playfully as Kara begins to lead them back towards the bar. Jeff Bezos gives a weak wave before slinking away into the crowd behind a stiff talking Zuckerberg. When they pull up beside the bar, Lena can see Sam’s head thrown back in laughter a few people down.

“Scotch neat,” Kara says, raising a finger towards the bartender as she leans against the edge of the bar, and honestly, Lena isn’t sure how she looks this good in a simple checkered navy button up and forest green slacks. Maybe it’s because the fabric strains just enough against her arms, accentuating the muscles there, or because one button is undone just right, leaving just enough of the strong line of her neck exposed, but Lena is a little flushed and it isn’t from the glass of wine that nearly fell out of her hands. Her body is a traitor along with her heart.

“Do you really work for Cat Grant?” Lena asks as the bartender slides a glass of amber liquid in front of her.

Kara hums and nods her head, “Yeah. I used to be her assistant, but now she is throwing me some writing job crumbs here and there in between fetching her lattes.”

Lena brings the glass to her lips, sipping in the smooth, peaty drink, “And Obsidian North is one of those crumbs?”

Kara dips her head and chuckles before straightening and turning towards Lena, “Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m going to score that interview now.”

“I can put in a good word for you,” Lena offers sweetly.

“Even if it means going to dinner with your evil ex?” Kara counters, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.

Lena stalls, narrowing her eyes in faux consideration, “Yes, even if it means going to dinner with my evil ex, but how about I do you one better? I’ll give you an exclusive,”

Kara’s look suddenly shifts, taken aback and unsure, “I couldn’t ask you for that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering.” Lena replies with a soft smile, one that Kara reflects back at her.

“You’re too good to me,” Kara says, her voice dropping as she takes a step closer, “How can I repay you?”

And oh , that warm feeling; it’s kicked up and simmering just under Lena’s skin now, so she may as well lay it all out on the line.

“You could start by finding us a quiet place for that exclusive,” Lena says, tilting her head with a sly smile, eyes flickering across the blonde's face.

“Mhm, and then?” Kara asks as she raises her hand and trails the tips of her fingers up Lena’s forearm and honestly, Lena is determined to give this woman anything she asks for; an exclusive, her soul, her first born child, their initials etched in the center of a heart on the surface of the moon with a precision laser.

Whatever, all she needs to do is ask.

“Lena! There you are!” Sam shouts, her arms raised with one hand firmly clasped in the hand of the woman she is pulling beside her through the crowd. She bumps into Kara as she comes to a stop and gives her a quick once over before mouthing “she’s hot” in Lena’s direction.

“This is Alex. Alex, this is my best friend, Lena,” she says in a rushed breath.

Alex extends her hand, which Lena takes in a stiff handshake. The red head's face is unreadable and an icy feeling begins to take root in Lena’s stomach as she finally motions towards Kara, “I see you’ve met my sister.”

Lena’s eyes widen at that, “I have, yes,” she says, turning her head towards Kara who is suddenly interested in adjusting her glasses, her own eyes wide behind them.

An uneasy heaviness settles in the air, and Sam’s eyes dart between Lena and Kara and then cut towards Alex.

“Wait. What is happening here?” Sam finally breaks the silence.

“I think Alex may already know who I am,” Lena wagers, “which means that you probably already know that I know who Kara is.”

“Also,” Kara cuts in, “you ditched me on sister night.”

(Lena isn’t sure how that is relevant, but yeah, rude.)

Alex rolls her eyes as Sam throws her hands up, “Hold on. How does Alex know you? Who is Kara? Do I even know anyone in this situation?”

“Kara is my sister, and she is here for work,” Alex flips an annoyed hand between her sister and then towards Lena “and she’s a Luthor, how could I not know who she is? Caused a bit of a fiasco at the CatCo dinner,” she finally says with a resentful tone, and okay that’s fair, but Lena isn’t Lillian and she sure as hell isn’t Lex. She’s not playing special forces with Cadmus or running a literal Legion of Doom.

“In all fairness, her mother caused a ‘ bit of a fiasco at the CatCo dinner .’ You have the wrong Luthor in your crosshairs,” Sam cuts in with a firm tone.

“Do I?” Alex says, narrowing her eyes with a tilt of her head.

“Lena isn’t her brother,” Kara says with an edge of steel to her voice, “I’m a pretty good judge of character, and she is nothing like him. Or her mother. She isn’t cold or dangerous. She is too good and too smart to follow their path. Have you seen the things she has done for this city? Hell, the world? She is a hero in her own right.”

Lena turns her head slowly to find Kara staring down her sister, and god , who is this knight in a plaid shirt who thinks a pair of glasses is an adequate disguise? She is literally swooning and wants to kiss this idiotic beautiful beefcake.

And Sam, sweet, beautiful, befuddled Sam moves around from beside her date and pushes into Lena’s side, “What is happening?” she whispers, her eyes darting between the blonde and redhead who have entered into a deadly stare down, “because if she keeps this up, she might be my future ex-wife,”

Lena bites her lip and shrugs, rooted in her spot by the icy realization that things may get very ugly, very quickly.

And fuck, why can’t Lena’s life just be normal?

“God, you do this all the time, Kara,” Alex finally erupts in a petulant tone.

Kara huffs and rolls her eyes, “I do not.”

“Okay, fine,” Alex says, setting her hands on her hips and tapping a foot, “Lucy.”

“She was already working with the DEO an-”

“Mon-El.”

“Okay, he was an alien too an-”

“James.”

“Clark had already told him!” Kara exclaims, throwing her hands up.

Lena blinks, doing some quick math in her head, because she only knows one Clark, and if Kara is a reporter, and Clark is a reporter and, “I’m sorry, Clark? As in Clark Kent?”

Somehow both sisters snap yes and no in unison at each other and Lena’s world flips a hundred and eighty degrees when Kara adds, “He’s my cousin.”

OH.

Alex’s hands shoot up to her face, her fingernails leaving angry, red marks and she drags her fingers down, pulling at her cheeks and exposing the whites of her eyes as she lets out a frustrated whine.

Sam’s eyes light up, a suddenly epiphany washing over her as she turns towards Lena, “ Oh , she’s National City’s sweetheart that you fucked in your office.”

“How fucking astute,” Lena grits between her teeth.

“How are you such an idiot?” Alex mumbles under her breath and Kara’s mouth drops open in offense.

“I was in the science guild. I am a genius.”

“Yeah, but on this planet you are a pimple of the ass of stupidity,” Alex snaps as she brings her head down and focuses on her sister with a deathly glare. “Come here,” she says curtly and grabs Kara by the elbow, attempting to lead her out of the room and towards the hallway, but Kara pulls away abruptly.

“No, I’m here for work,” she says glancing towards Lena, “and right now I have an exclusive with Miss Luthor,”

And gulp , hearing her name drip with the formality from Kara’s lips does something to Lena, causing the feeling to settle low in her hips with a distinctive throb of want.

So when Kara pushes away from the bar, and sends her shoulder defiantly into her sister’s as walks by, Lena follows like a thread, reaching out blindly for Kara’s hand as they exit into a side hall, free from the judging looks from Alex (and complete bewilderment from Sam) where they are alone.

“I’m sorry about that,” Kara starts as she turns towards Lena, “she can be an assho-” but Lena won’t, hell , can’t let her finish, because she is already surging forward, lips crashing into Kara’s as she backs her into the far wall of the dim hallway. And okay, yes, Sam was right; call it what you want: affirmation, praise, whatever. This woman has come to Lena’s defense more than most people have in her lifetime in the span of a week, and Lena has melted under the warm, ever-radiating light that is simply Kara.

Lena’s tongue pushes past Kara’s lips and whatever disorientation she may have had by Lena’s bold move is quickly righted when Kara snakes her arm around her waist as her other hand slides roughly over her hip and squeezes her ass.

“Take me somewhere,” Lena husks as she breaks off the kiss, turning slightly in Kara’s arms and pressing her forehead to Kara’s temple. Kara nods as she raises her hand and pulls her glasses down the bridge of nose, surveying their surroundings quickly before jutting her chin down the corridor.

“There’s an empty conference room at the end of the hall,” Kara says in a breathy rush as she turns her head in towards Lena and brushes her nose along her own.

“Then take me,” Lena demands quietly, her hands turning into the fabric of Kara’s collar as she tugs the blonde along after her down the hall, and it is Kara’s turn to follow, dark eyes focused on Lena as she walks backwards towards the door, a hungry smile spreading across her lips. Lena can feel the cool, heavy wood against her back, and she looks over Kara’s shoulder as the blonde reaches out, pressing down the handle to see Sam peeking her head into the hall and giving two very enthusiastic thumbs up as they stumble through the threshold. Kara kicks the door behind them and it shuts with a thunderclap. Her hands are everywhere; on Lena’s hips, in her hair and cupping her face in a fevered kiss that is all lips, tongue and teeth as she backs her into the edge of the conference table in the center of the room.

“I know you said you like slow,” Lena says between kisses, her voice jumping up an octave when Kara’s hands move over her ass and underneath her thighs, hoisting her on to the edge of the table, “but-”

“I can do fast.”

That is the only reply that Lena needs as she wraps her legs around Kara’s lithe waist, her pointed heels digging into the back of strong thighs as she lowers her hands to Kara’s belt buckle. Kara’s mouth drops from her own, focusing instead on the underside of her jaw and Lena can feel the moan that reverberates against her throat when she tugs roughly, sending Kara’s hips forward between her own legs, giving the briefest moment of delicious friction as her hands move to the button and zipper of Kara’s slacks.

And for a moment Lena’s higher brain function returns from between her legs and she raises her hands, gently cupping Kara’s face and leveling her gaze with her own, and she looks as wrecked as Lena’s feels, and maybe now of all times isn’t the time to bring it up, but

“I’m sorry if I made you cross a line earlier with your sister,” Lena confesses quietly, “that wasn’t my intention.”

But Kara is already shaking her head, “ God , no. Not at all. She is a colossal pain in my ass, but I meant what I said and honestly,” Kara drops her head minutely, pressing their foreheads together, keeping her eyes locked with Lena’s and she lets go of a shaky breath, “I don’t think there is a line I wouldn’t cross for you,” she confesses quietly.

It sounds a little bit dangerous, and a lot like love, and Lena’s doesn’t have any words left, so she raises her head, bringing her lips to Kara’s in a soft kiss that grows, open mouthed, wet and hot as she drops her hands, pulling Kara’s shirt free from her slacks and sneaks her hands underneath. She runs blunt fingernails over the muscular plane of the blonde's stomach, swallowing the beautiful sounds that Kara makes in her mouth.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Kara whispers, raising her hand and capturing Lena’s wrist lightly and guiding her hand slowly down, “how wet you make me,” and Lena readjusts, turning her hand downward as Kara pushes them past the waistband of her underwear together and she feels Kara for the first time.

And fuck, she feels good; slick and warm and Lena becomes singularly focused on making this woman feel as good as she can. Kara’s hand leaves hers and comes up, tangling into her hair, tugging lightly as Lena’s presses finger to her clit and circles before dipping lower and pressing into her entrance, causing Kara’s hips to twitch forward and sending her lips crashing back into her own. Lena drags her finger up slowly before adding another, focusing on tight circles around Kara’s clit. The hand in her hair tightens, and somewhere through the heady fog in Lena’s mind, she swears she hears the sound of fingernails digging into the table, splintering the wood as Kara presses the flats of her teeth against Lena’s lips, her breathing quick and uneven and altogether unraveling under Lena’s touch.

God, it’s intoxicating.

The hand Lena has underneath the blonde’s shirt wanders, brushing the underside of her bra-clad breast before palming it completely. She rolls a stiff nipple between her thumb and finger over the fabric, causing Kara’s hips to buck as she presses her hand more firmly into the table (and yep , that is a twenty thousand mahogany conference table splintering beneath them and Lena could absolutely not care less.)

Kara’s hips begin to roll in tandem with each pass of Lena’s fingers, and she can tell she is close. She slips her hand from underneath Kara’s shirt and over her shoulder, her fingers pressing into the back of her neck as she pulls her close, her lips ghosting over Kara’s, mingling their warm breaths.

“Come for me,” Lena requests gently, and Kara’s head jerks back for a moment and she can see the unabashed bliss on her face as her eyes screw shut and she drops her head to Lena’s shoulder.

“ “ŕħåņ jû şħēđ,” Kara breaths in, turning her head and pressing her lips the side of Lena’s neck, breath hot and ragged as her body stiffens,“ čhåṽɨẳ ớṣh řŕıp”

And Lena can almost feel the words race under her skin as Kara comes hard against her fingers, her hips jerking unevenly with her release as her hand slides from her hair and down her back and around her waist, fingers digging in her hip enough to bruise.

( Jesus fuck , this woman could crack her back like a glowstick and Lena would honestly probably thank her.)

Lena begins to slow her mistrations, easing Kara through the aftershocks of her orgasm and feels the blonde release a shuddering breath against her neck, causing goosebumps to prick up along Lena’s skin. Languid kisses move from her neck to underneath her ear, across the high curve of her cheekbone, to the corner of her mouth and then her lips. Kara lets go of a dreamy sigh, and the hand at her hip slips around her waist, pulling Lena somehow impossibly closer and not close enough.

“Was that my exclusive?” Kara asks a little dazedly, “because if so, I have no notes. Ten’s across the board.”

Lena chuckles, extracting her hand and bringing it up between them and over Kara’s shoulder, interlocking slick fingers as her hands hang loosely just behind her head. Kara presses a chaste kiss to her lips and leans back just enough, and Lena decides that this is her favorite sight so far; Kara, dreamy and soft around the edges with a smile that Lena feels is reserved just for her.

It makes her heart ache in her chest just a little in the best way and Lena doesn’t mind the beat of silence that follows. She doesn’t mind how Kara’s eyes watch her or how she feels completely unguarded.

She doesn’t mind at all because it is the best she has felt.

The most loved she has felt and all the self sabotaging and self deprecating thoughts swirling in her head have fallen uncharacteristically quiet, because maybe, maybe, Kara feels the same.

“Can I ask you a question?” and Kara hums her assent as Lena twirls an errant curl around her finger that has loosened from her ponytail.

“Anything,”

“What did you say? It’s Kryptonian, I assume. But you said the same thing the other night on the phone, and I was just wondering-” Lena trails off before her nerves get the better of her and she starts on a tangent that she can’t stop (and will likely end in a love confession word salad on her end, and yikes, reel in in, Luthor .)

“Oh,” Kara breathes out as she straightens in Lena’s arms, “yeah, it’s a Kryptonian saying, but kinda gets lost in translation. I guess the easiest way to say it would be-”

Then there’s a knock at the door. Because of fucking course there is.

“Kara, open the door,” Alex’s muffled voice comes from the other side, “we have, uh, there’s a problem,”

Kara squeezes her eyes shut as she steps back from Lena’s embrace. Her hands move to her slacks as she unceremoniously begins tucking her shirt back in. Lena slides gracefully from the table and offers some reprieve, hoping to quell Kara’s embarrassment as she helps slip her belt back through her buckle.

“Yeah, gimme a second. Just finishing up.”

“Ugh, gross,” is Alex's only response.

Kara flashes a quick smile as she adjusts her glasses before pressing a quick kiss to Lena’s lips, “One second. I promise,”

“Go,” Lena says with a chuckle, pushing a hand into Kara’s shoulder, “it’s fine,”

Kara turns on her heels and is across the room in a few steps, “Yeah, here I am,” she says as she opens the door to a disapproving frown from her sister.

“I don’t want to know,” Alex relents, raising a hand as her eyes focus on Lena for a brief moment over her sister’s shoulder, “just come here,” she says, grabbing Kara by the wrist and pulling her into the hallway.

She can overhear the sisters arguing; expletives and insults are being thrown, along with what Lena can only assume is Kryptonian.

“What the actual fuck, Kara? You can’t just go around outing yourself as Supergirl at anyone who bats their eyes and flashes a pretty smile at you,” Alex hisses.

“Rao, not this again. I can tell whoever I want! Plus, when do you suddenly care so much about my love life!?”

“When you are literally sleeping with the enemy.”

“Don’t do that,” Kara counters.

“She’s a Luthor.”

“And? She’s not our enemy. Lex is. Lillian is. Lena isn’t. She has never done anything to show me otherwise. I know that disillusioned feeling that comes from your family and the long shadow it can cast. Please believe when I tell you that she isn’t bad. She isn’t the villain you’re trying to make her out to be.”

“ ăøę, you are not that naive,” Alex says in a hushed, petulant tone.

“You’re right. I’m not.”

“So how can you not see how bad of an ide-?”

“Because ķħặħp žhẫớ žħěđ , Alex!”

The beat of silence that follows feels downright sinister, and suddenly that clawing, icy fear that has been lying dormant breaks loose, wedging itselfs in between Lena’s ribs. She wrings her hands together nervously, the room suddenly feeling much smaller than it was; no longer a haven for sweet kisses and quiet confessions. Lena feels trapped.

“Right, well, I hope that all works out for you. But right now I need both of you to come with me,”

“God, you’re such a pain in my ass,” Kara says in some composed, hushed shriek.

“Yeah, it’s what sisters do,” Alex counters, and then, “Andrea is requesting you for an IT consultation, Luthor,”

That piques Lena’s attention and she moves towards the door, pulling it open, “What?”

“Some code error with the VR launch. I don’t know,” Alex huffs, waving her hands down the hall in some feeble attempt to usher Lena along, “can you just-”

“Say please,” Kara cuts in and Lena swears Alex’s eyes could slice through the fabric of space and time itself the way she cuts them towards her sister.

Kara crosses her arms and looks at her sister expectantly and it takes every ounce of Lena’s self control to repress the smug smile itching at her lips.

“ Please,” Alex offers as sweetly as she can through a smile that is all teeth and subdued anger.

Lena composes herself, standing a little taller and dips her head, “Happy to help,” she says just chipper enough to see the redhead’s fist ball up as she walks by. She can hear quick footsteps come up behind her as Kara slips her hand into her own.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?” Kara whispers, pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder as they round the corner, back into the bar, “and your ass looks great in this dress.”

“Thank you, darling,” Lena says, glancing at Kara out of the corner of her eye. A smile breaks across her lips as she comes up beside Sam, shooting her a satisfied wink as she pulls the tablet she is fiddling with away.

“Oh, thank god,” Sam sighs in relief before shifting her attention to Kara, “you look happy,”

Kara rocks up on the balls of her feet and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before pointing at the bar, “I’m going to get us drinks.”

“I have no idea what I am looking at,” Sam brings her attention back to Lena, “Andrea shoved this thing in my hand and disappeared. Probably off having an aneurysm somewhere.”

Lena swipes through a few lines of angry, red scrolling code before typing in a command causing an error message to appear, “There are two lines of the same code running simultaneously. One is trying to override the other. I’m not sure-”

But that’s when she notices it: three little words that suddenly brings Andrea’s venture into focus just as a server comes by with a tray of what appears to be contact lens cases.

“Friends, innovators,” Andrea’s voice floats from the speakers, “please take this time to get your complementary Obsidian North Platinum lenses. Once you have yours, please insert them with a simple swipe of your thumb and finger over the case and then to your eyes. I assure you there will be no discomfort. Our launch will begin momentarily,”

The lights overhead begin to dim and Lena glances up from the tablet to see Sam reaching out for the silver case and quickly smacks her friend’s hand, “Don’t put those in.”

Sam juts out her bottom lip and drops the case back onto the server's tray just as Kara returns, precariously balancing three drinks, “You look like a wine kinda girl, so a red for you,” she says, offering Sam a wine glass, “nothing for you,” she says cheerfully, moving over her sister as she returns to Sam’s side, causing a sour look to screw up on Alex’s face.

“An apple martini for me and a scotch neat for you,” she says, dropping a kiss to Lena’s cheek, but when she doesn’t move to retrieve her drink, Kara’s voice grows concerned, “Hey,” Kara says quietly, coming up beside Lena and observing the lines of code on the tablet, “what’s going on?”

“Somethings wrong. Look at this,” Lena says, her finger ghosting over one line of code in particular, “my brother is a lot of things; a megalomaniac, an evil genius, but he’s also predictable. See this line of code here? It’s identical to the launch code sequence for Obsidian’s, only this has a nasty malware worm attached to it.”

“ I love Lexi dot exe ,” Kara says, “he’s an alliterative evil genius, I’ll give him that,”

“What’s going on?” Alex interjects, squeezing into Kara’s side, all three of their faces lit up by the tablet.

“Lex is about to hack into Obsidian’s VR and turn every influential celebrity and tech innovator's brain in perpetuity, basically turning them into his human puppets.” Lena answers.

Alex takes a step back, prying the rocks glass from Kara’s hand and throwing her head back, taking the drink in a whole shot. “I think we might be too late,” she says, her hand reaching out as she pushes Sam behind her and taking on a protective stance. Kara and Lena’s heads raise up in unison from the tablet, and shit, this is bad.

Waitstaff, celebrities, rich white men who somehow continue to fail upwards, dozens of pairs of sickly green eyes focus in their direction. The screens above the bar and in each corner of the room flicker, changing over to static for a brief moment before Lex’s face appears.

And honestly, Lena couldn’t care less about what he is droning on about; world domination, his god complex, whatever. They need to get somewhere safe. She lolls her head to the side, motioning towards Kara to the service station beside the bar, a quick escape that puts some distance between themselves and a room full of Lex marionette puppets. Kara nods and ducks down, her hand pressed firmly into Lena’s back as she leads them towards the bar and under the hinged section of the service area with Alex and Sam following closely behind.

“Okay, now what?” Sam hisses, her wine glass jostling in her hand and Lena is half tempted to pull a bottle of Macallan down from the bar and drink away the thought of her potential sororicide at the hands of a Lex-controlled Logan Paul.

God, what an embarrassment.

“Where is he?” Kara questions, “Metropolis? National City?”

Lena raises herself up, peeking over the edge of the bar, her eyes focusing on the TV at the far end of the room.

“No, Metropolis is too predictable, and he’s not stupid enough to be at ground zero in National City.” Lena muses, “Luthor Manor, perhaps?” but that’s when she notices the jagged formation of rocks over her brother’s shoulder.

“He’s in Canada,” Lena deducts, “Mount Norquay. He has a bunker there.”

“Great, so I’ll just-” Kara starts, “No, wait,” Lena cuts in as she ducks back down, “it is a literal fortress in the center of a mountain encased in two feet of lead. It is specifically made to prevent you or your cousin from getting anywhere near him. If it detects any Krypotnian DNA anywhere around it, kryptonite canons drop out of the side of it,”

“Oh great, kryptonite canons,” Alex mocks as she digs her teeth into a bourbon cork, twisting the bottle in her hand and spitting it out, “so you’re ready to risk life and limb for her.”

“That’s it!” Sam erupts, snatching the bottle out of redhead’s hand and taking a long pull from it, “Listen babe, usually I’m all for dumping on Lena, it’s kind of my whole deal as her best friend, but this whole one woman Luthor crusade you’ve got going on,” Sam motions with her hand in Alex’s face, “has got to go. Either get on board with the Luthor and Super thing, or get out of the way, because you’re outnumbered three to one here.”

“I’m not Supergir-” Kara stammers and Sam raises her hand.

“We’re way past that, and those glasses aren’t the disguise you think they are,” Sam says, pointing at Kare before looking back at sheepish Alex, “are you done being an asshole?”

Alex nods and Lena could honestly kiss Sam on the mouth right now. She is a great wingwoman, sure, but she’s even a better friend.

“Right,” Kara redirects her attention back to Lena, “so canons all around the mountain...” she pauses, chewing at her lip for a moment, “I’ll go in from the top,” Kara states casually.

“You just can’t go from the to-” but Lena’s words stutter to a halt, because actually, yeah, she can.

“Holy shit, you can just go from the top,” Lena breathes out, “that is the simplest way.”

“Occam's razor, baby,” Kara says with a smile and a wink that is entirely out of place given the sorta life or death circumstances, even more so with the quick kiss she presses to Lena’s cheek.

“What a stupid fucking design flaw,” Sam quips, cheering her glass to the neck of Alex’s bottle with a sharp clink.

“While I’m after Lex, you need to do whatever you can to disable his code,” Kara says, pulling her hair free from her ponytail, “these people’s lives depend on it.”

Lena purses her lips into a thin line because really does everyone’s life in this room depend on it?

(Maybe a few less billionaires wouldn’t be so bad, present company notwithstanding.)

“Lena,” Kara calls out again as she stands and removes her glasses, causing her suit to materialize down her body; a flurry of navy blues and reds coalescing together (with pants!) until Supergirl stands before her.

And wow, Lena rationally knew that Kara and Supergirl were one and the same, but seeing the transformation firsthand, there is a subtle change in Kara’s demeanor. It reminds Lena of early morning car rides along quiet city streets and abandoned pavement. The way night bleeds into the twilight hours, leaving her with the distinct feeling that despite the roads being the same, they were also somehow different. She can see the change in Kara; the way she stands a little taller, an air of stoicism around her that feels impenetrable. It is truly a sight to behold, and Lena feels as though she has been privy to something private in Kara’s life.

(Also, she’s like really fucking hot , so there’s that.)

Lena clears her throat and stands up alongside Kara, “I should be able to wipe out the code in a few minutes barring any distractions.”

“That might be a little difficult,” Kara states, watching as a sea of sickly green eyes refocus their attention from a babbling, bald Lex on the screens overhead back down to the bar. “Alex can you-”

“Already got it covered,” Alex announces triumphantly as she finishes shoving a dinner napkin into a bottle of Bacardi 151.

"No fires," Kara admonishes and the excited (and tiny bit deranged) look in her sister's eyes diminishes, "especially molotov's."

"Whatever," Alex grumbles and Kara brow deepens into a disapproving line for a fleeting moment before she returns her attention back to Lena. “Three minutes, can you do it in that?”

Lena swipes through a few more lines of code, “I think so, yeah,” she says, glancing up at Kara, who is watching her with a soft look, her eyes crinkling at the corners as though she wants to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.

(And Lena kind of wants to, too because why can’t anything just be normal?)

“I know you can,” and Lena, honest to god, believes it as Kara wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her flush against her chest in a quick motion. A strong hand buries into her hair and Lena legitimately tries not to swoon when she feels Kara’s thumb brush just behind the shell of her ear as her lips press against hers in a sure kiss.

“Ew, gross,” Alex bemoans from behind them, somewhere on the sticky bar floor before she is shushed by Sam.

“I’ll be back soon,” Kara says in a hushed voice as she pulls back from their kiss, her arm loosening from around Lena.

“Don’t die,” Alex says as she pops up from the floor.

“Never,” Kara says quietly, eyes set and focused on Lena.

(Lena swears that those nevers are sounding a lot more like forevers , and honestly the feeling coils warmly inside of her in the best way.)

And then Kara is gone with only an accompanying gust of wind left in her place, so Lena gets to work, swiping through line after line of code, deleting some sections, re-writing other sections that she can.

And then a few things begin to happen:

Firstly, the Lex zombies start moving towards the bar, which is a big fucking problem because how is she supposed to get anything done if she’s getting pummeled by Dwayne ‘basically-a-human-wall ’ Johnson?

Secondly, Alex seems to have a solution to this problem, which involves chucking the stocked liquor bottles lining the wall behind them (with luckily a lot less fire) into a very singularly focused, mind controlled crowd.

A few bottles hit their targets; dead center in the chest of a spacesuit-wearing Richard Branson (ugh, get over yourself), a spinning low blow takes out a stiffly shuffling Zuckerburg at the knees (who is looking much less mind controlled and much more ‘walking dead’, something Sam points out and she hurls a handle-sized bottle of Tito’s, almost buzzing the side of Lena’s head with it.)

“My bad!” Sam yells, her hands shooting up in a placating gesture before reaching out and grabbing another bottle quickly, “Think I can nail Elon right between the eyes?” she says, flipping up a bottle of rail gin behind her back and over her shoulder, catching gracefully by the neck.

Lena’s eyes the room before they land on the aforementioned bumbling idiot, “Do it, and you’ve got an all expenses paid trip waiting for you and Alex to wherever you want.”

“You can do it, babe!” Alex yells from somewhere down the bar as she sends a bottle into the face of some NFT monkey tech bro before cracking a beer bottle over the top of a feral looking Ellen DeGerenes’s head.

And Sam, D1 first basemen and two time All Star MVP Samantha Arias of Boston College cocks her arm back and with deadly accuracy sends a bottle directly into the forehead of Elon, sending him stumbling back into the broad chest of a green eyed, seething Dwayne Johnson.

Things happen a little in slow motion after that, because Lena watches as Elon wobbles unsteadily on his feet, tapping the heel of his palm into the side of his head (in some feeble attempt to jump start his brain, yeah right ) where one of the contacts has fallen out, leaving only one of his eyes Luthor Green™ . He struggles with himself, one half of his body reaching out towards Lena as he spits aggressive, nonsensical words out of the side of his Lex-controlled mouth while the other half of his body flails, clearly setting on the flight aspect of his consciousness rather than the fight.

Lena also wiped out Lex’s virus twenty-six seconds ago, and with Alex and Sam clearly having things under control (and maybe the time of their lives taking out billionaires like they are playing carnival games), she can bide her time for a moment or two until Kara returns and leans casually against the bar.

Her finger twitches over the blinking command button on the tablet as she watches Elon get hoisted up, his pale arm thrown over the jacked shoulder summit of a mountain of a man and immediately Rock Bottomed ™  through hors d'oeuvres table.

Lena finally sends the command after that, wiping out the virus and shutting down the Obsidian platform just as Kara returns, Lex clinging to her like a bald, half frozen koala bear.

“Oh, Clark is going to be so pissed,” Alex chortles as she comes around the bar's corner and stands in front of her sister.

“So pissed,” Kara says, peeling a wide eyed and terrified Lex Luthor off her side, “he may have taken a quick tour through the stratosphere and experienced some turbulence.”

“Y-o-ouu d-d-rroo-pped m-meee tw-wenn-ty thoou-saaand f-e-e-e-e-t,” Lex chatters through his teeth and Kara rolls her eyes as she shoves him down into a chair.

“You’re fine. Stay there,” she says poignantly, shifting her attention to Lena. “Care for a lift home?”

“Oh, is this another ‘ night-cap-at-the-office’ kind of lift home?” Sam cuts in, air quoting her way through the sentence with a wry smile on her face.

Kara takes a step closer and brings her hand up, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, and yes, please, Lena would absolutely like a lift home. Home to where she can pull Kara into bed; where she can spend time worshiping every available inch of naked flesh and fall asleep in strong arms, and with the smile Kara is giving her, it is clear she is sharing the same thought.

“No,” Alex barks. “No night caps, no lifts home. None of that,” Alex motions in a flurry with her hands, “Do you know how much paperwork we need to do,” she says, motioning towards Kara and then over the bar at Sam and Lena.

Oh, the collective we, and Lena cringes a little.

“Care for a lift to the DEO then?” Kara amends, looking a little crestfallen and Lena kind of wants to kiss the pout off her lips.

Lex looks between Supergirl and Lena, and Lena barely has time to roll her eyes before her brother opens his mouth, all chattering enamel and a snarl.

“Yoo-ou’re f-f-fuucking the a-llllien?”

By the time Lena is touching back down on the patio of her penthouse, the first rays of sunlight are starting to creep and glimmer over the horizon; fading away the midnight blues and purples into a soft pink.

(Also, how does she get those covert government lawyers? Sure, her hand is almost gnarled from the stack of papers she had to sign and her mascara may be running to the point she looks like a racoon, but she is about to dump her retainer of overpaid attorneys because those NDA’s were so ironclad, Lena won’t be breaking them in her next three lifetimes.)    

“We really need to stop having our evenings end like this,” Lena says, and Kara chuckles.

“I agree, but I can’t say I don’t enjoy the company.”

Lena smiles at that, because hell, no complaints here, and glances down to her hands, pulling at her fingers as an idea suddenly pops into her head.

Because things have moved at lightspeed this far, and maybe they have done this all backwards, but Lena can see where this thing between them is headed.

So, she may as well keep her foot on the gas.

“Are you free on the last Friday of this month?” Lena asks, finally summoning the courage to lift her gaze back to Kara. “It’s the annual LCorp gala, and I’d love for you to come.”

There, she asked Supergirl out on a proper date. An official date.

“Oh,” Kara breathes out, and her mouth moves like maybe she wants to speak, but ends up gawking for a moment, “yeah. Totally. Do you want me to talk with your head of security, do a perimeter check an-”

Lena shakes her head, laughing to herself, “No, Kara. I don’t want the Cat Grant special. I want you to go with me. As my date. Officially.” “Oh,” Kara’s eyes grow wide as she moves, scooping Lena up in a solid, warm hug. “OH! Rao, yes. Of course. Duh . Absolutely.”

Lena could honestly float away, and when her feet land back on the ground, she believes she may have for a moment.

“So, uh,” Kara wavers quietly, pulling back, but keeping her arms loosely around Lena’s midsection, “officially, huh? I like the sound of that.”

Lena tucks her head underneath Kara’s chin, nuzzling against her collarbone and the warm fabric of her suit. “Me too.”

“I really want to stay,” Kara says, a hitch of disappointment in her voice, “but I have to get back. Still need to prep Lex for transport. Still need to fill out more paperwork.”

“Still need to gloat to Clark,” Lena adds, her arms snaking around Kara’s waist and squeezing a little tighter.

“God, so much gloating,” Kara says, stepping back from Lena’s embrace. Her feet leave the ground, and she rises slowly, beautiful and backlit by the rising sun.

“Kara, wait,” Lena says quickly, capturing Kara's hand before she can leave and drift off into the early morning; before Lena loses the nerve to string together this half baked love struck thought in her MENSA certified genius brain.

"You, uh-, never told me what you said. What it meant, I mean. The translation of.. what.. you said."

( Oh , there she goes with those words again, all idiotic and tricky and somehow sticking to the roof of her mouth.)

Kara smiles gently down at her and nods, and without so much as a twitch of Lena's fingers, floats slowly and effortlessly back to her, like she is tethered to Lena by some invisible string. The tips of her boots touch down and she comes to a graceful stop just in front of Lena, and honestly who can blame her for reaching out and ghosting her fingers over the edge of the crest Kara wears proudly. Her hair is a cascade of golden hues and ultraviolet with her back to the sun, and Lena is having a difficult time understanding how one person can look this stunning after thwarting one of her brother’s exhausting attempts at world domination and capturing him, because Lena is pretty sure her makeup is half scrubbed off and her hair is flying out in about seventy million different directions and she just overall looks like a mess (and kind of feels like one too.)

“On Krypton it was an oath usually reserved for a union between houses, sometimes through an alliance, but usually through marriage,” Kara says, slipping her hand into Lena’s before quickly amending, “not that I’m asking you to marry me, because that would be, like, fast. Like, really fast, and I haven’t even taken you out to dinner yet, and then adds with a wink, “I mean, we just became official.”

“It’s usually customary on this planet to take someone out to dinner before a marriage proposal,” Lena agrees, running her thumb over the back of Kara’s knuckles. “But with all things considered, I’d really like to see where this goes.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kara smiles, and then adds, “But, yeah, ŕħåņ jû şħēđ čhåṽɨẳ ớṣh řŕıp, I guess the easiest translation would be something like above all others, only for you.”

Lena blinks, her mind coming to a halt; the gears grinding, emergency stop kind of halt.

“For me?” Lena says with a hushed awe, like the words are too fragile to fit her mouth around. Because who has ever wanted to keep Lena like an oath? Certainly not her family. Hell, barely even the public. But this woman; this woman from the stars wants to and Lena can barely contain the warmth taking up residence in her chest and it may honestly consume her, this white hot love.

“Yeah, you,” Kara says quietly, surely, like it is the most obvious thing in the world, “just you.”

Tears prick at Lena’s eyes and she has never felt so dismantled by quiet words and so whole in a breath.

And that’s enough; just her.

[fixyfics]

Okay listen I wrote a mini fic based on the broken elbow vine okay?? I did it. 1k words of millennial indulgence!!

————————————

I don’t care that you broke your elbow

The room is silent.

The five of them, J’onn, Alex, Brainy, Kara and Lena sit quietly around the table, not a word spoken between them as the seconds tick by.

Alex looks furious in the way only Alex does: thin lips, tightly folded arms, carefully narrowed stare.

J’onn looks disappointed, hands folded on the table as he leans forwards, eyebrows up and forehead lined.

Brainy looks confused, glancing around at each of them as if trying to work out the math that makes up the choices that led them here.

Lena looks stoic and cold, face blank and expressionless as she sits ramrod straight, perfectly sleek hair over one shoulder.

And Kara looks… well, grumpy, probably. A bit bruised? Dirty, for sure.

She takes a furtive look down at herself without drawing any attention to the movement. Yeah, her hand resting on the table is gross, her wrists are all scraped and- gosh, the ends of her hair are still wet from the bay.

The only part of her that is clean is the white bandage and sling holding her arm to her chest.

When she darts her eyes back up to the group, Alex’s glare is focused directly on her.

Kara feels the urge to respond to the look start to bubble up, but she pushes it down.

Alex’s eyes narrow further.

Kara twists her lips in effort.

Alex tightens her folded arms.

Kara bites on her tongue until it hurts.

Alex quirks one eyebrow.

Kara opens her mouth to snap but moves herself in doing so, jostling her arm and wincing at the pain.

Because yeah, she can feel this stupid broken bone.

But it’s not her fault! Okay, she didn’t wait for backup, okay, she went too full on, okay, she blew out her powers. But, like, whatever! It happens! It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. Honestly she’s not sure why everyone is so moody about it, they’ve worked with and known her long enough to know that diving in headfirst is kind of her thing. She’s just staying on brand! Cat would be so proud.

Anyway, broken bones suck, they hurt, and sun lamps don’t heal them and she’s just going to have to wait for them to heal by themselves. Jeez.

If anyone is to blame it's the alien, surely. They’re the one who had a shell that apparently couldn’t be penetrated without a severely large amount of her power. They’re the one who was way faster than what she’d expected, seeing as it looked like a ten foot high turtle. They’re the one who didn’t find it funny when Kara yelled ‘turtle power!’ while throwing it into the bay, instead launching itself back out simply to grab Kara and pull her back in with it.

All in all it’s the big ninja turtle’s fault, and she refuses to listen to Alex’s ‘we literally have a ray-gun designed to incapacitate that exact alien species and it would have worked if you hadn’t dunked him in the ocean first’ reasoning.

It’s high pressure being supergirl! You’ve gotta think fast, and fast means… fly, punch, zoom, win. Ta-daa!

And now she’s in trouble, everyone sitting there all angry wangry at her because she made them ‘worry unnecessarily’ and ‘could have gotten hurt in her recklessness’ and ‘cost the DEO over one hundred thousand dollars in repair’. And anyway, that last one she really doesn’t get, because seriously the DEO gets attacked at least every other day and yet somehow whenever she comes back the place has been fully repaired. There’s clearly a lot of funding here, enough to fix endless windows by some mystery midnight staff, so surely there’s enough to fix a few little buildings by the waterfront. C’mon.

So, Alex is furious at her, J’onn is disappointed, Brainy is confused he didn’t see it coming, and Lena-

Wait, why is Lena even here?

She doesn’t work here. Did she just… file into the room when everyone else did? What is happening. How did she get here?

Kara chances a glance at the woman, squinting in curiosity.

It makes no sense, Lena has absolutely no reason to be here.

Sure, Lena isn’t exactly Kara’s biggest fan at the moment, what with the whole Supergirl betrayal, so Kara understands why she might want to sit in on the reprimand Kara is probably about to get, but despite that... How did she get in?

Kara quickly looks to Alex, who catches her eye, and Kara indicates Lena with the tiniest tilt of her head. Alex looks at the woman, looks away, then does a double take. She glances back at Kara and opens her mouth once, twice, before snapping it shut again in confusion.

Kara clears her throat to address the… sleek and stylish elephant in the room.

“Uh-”

“You know what?”

Lena’s voice makes Kara jump. The others all stare sharply at Lena, Alex with mounting confusion over the woman’s random inclusion in this… everyone-is-mad-at-Kara session, the others seeming to only just realise Lena is here in the first place.

Lena looks at them one by one, skipping Kara, obviously, of course.

“I’m about to say it.” Lena continues, shaking her head with a humourless chuckle.

Kara hears everyone hold their breath.

Lena turns to stare directly at her.

Lena inhales, chest almost puffing out as she straightens herself even further, shoulders strong and the lines in her face hard as she looks to be gearing up to deliver some scathing insult that will surely knock Kara so hard she’ll break apart in this very room.

Lena glares icily.

“I don’t care that you broke your elbow.”

Silence, for a beat. Then-

Alex snorts.

Inelegant laughter bursts from her as she cackles, making Lena jolt in alarm next to her.

J’onn drops his head into his hand wearily.

Brainy narrows his eyes as he tries to understand Alex’s reaction to Lena’s words.

And Kara- Kara just… gapes. Let’s out an indignant noise, almost a squawk as she stares at Lena.

Kara throws up her hands.

“How did you get in here?”

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

“Okay so is everyone clear on the plan?” Alex looked around the DEO mission briefing table, hands flat on the surface in her most commanding and authoritative stance.

Nia and Brainy nodded, Nia with her arms crossed and Brainy with his hands steepled in front of him in a serious manner. Kelly rolled her eyes but nodded too.

“Good.” Alex gave a curt nod and pushed away from the table. “We will meet back here at 19:00 hours for the debriefing.”

“Um… babe?” Kelly put a hand on Alex’s forearm and leaned towards her and Alex softened, smiling dopily at her. “Our dinner reservation is for 6:30.”

“Yeah and Brainy and I have a date too.” Nia looped her arm through Brainy’s, grinning.

“Yes.” Brainy looked pleased with himself and subconsciously leaned further into Nia’s side. “We are going paintballing.”

Alex hummed. “Okay well everyone just keep the group chat updated and we’ll meet up tomorrow.”

They dispersed and the plan was set into motion.

Phase 1 - Alex

Alex strode through the halls of the DEO with purpose, rubber soles of her boots not making much sound. Part of her envied the intimidating click of Lena’s heels but J’onn had shut down her suggestion of adding studs to the bottom of her boots, claiming it would undermine the stealth aspect of the design.

She entered her little office and flopped down in the chair, propping her feet up on the desk. She dialed Kara’s number, chewing on a jolly rancher from the secret stash in the drawer that Kara thought held boring paperwork as it rang.

“Hey Alex. What’s up?”

“Hey Kara. I - … where are you? Shouldn’t you be at CatCo?” The faint sound of traffic and the wind crackled through the phone speaker and Alex frowned.

“I’m just on my lunch break.”

“Oh.” Alex glanced at her watch. There was still an hour before phase 2 so Kara would probably be back at CatCo by then. “Ok. So what are you doing tonight? Sorry again that I can’t spend tonight with you.”

“No it’s fine - you have fun with Kelly. Lena and I were just going to have a movie night together.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows rose. That was easier than expected.

“Yeah, well neither of us was going to spend Valentine’s Day with anyone else so…”

Hm. That was going to be Alex’s argument. At least Kara was unknowingly cooperating with the secret plan.

She and Lena were getting insufferable with their heart eyes and yearning and so Alex had decided to take matters into her own hands with the help of their friends. (Kelly had been somewhat reluctant but Alex promised they wouldn’t push Kara or Lena to do anything, they would just… gently direct them in the direction they all knew they were heading anyway.) And so Mission: Get The Idiots Together was born. … Along with the group chat where they complained about the two idiots in question.

“Well ok then. Have a good day.”

“You too. Bye, Alex. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Alex hung up and leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers together and feeling like a Bond villain. Ah yes, it was all coming together now.

Phase 2 - Nia

Nia: Guys it’s all falling apart already

Nia glanced around the CatCo bullpen again, leg nervously bouncing. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked back at it, totally-not-suspiciously under her desk. It was a reply from Alex.

Alex: What?? What’s going on?

Nia: Kara’s not here

Alex: She told me she was at lunch over an hour ago! She must be back by now

Nia: Well she’s not! What do I do???

Brainy: Do not worry - I have just just seen her exiting L-corp and she informed me she was heading back to CatCo.

Alex: Ok great. Nobody panic.

Kelly: You guys are taking this way too seriously

Nia: Ok I’ll just do it when she gets back

Alex: Oh btw Kara said they’ve already planned to have a movie night together tonight so that makes our job easier

Brainy: Wait - if they’re already meeting tonight then what is the purpose of my visit to L-corp?

Phase 3 - Brainy

Brainy frowned down at his phone but at that moment the elevator dinged and the doors slid open on Lena’s floor. He stepped out, putting his phone away and nervously smoothing his shirt. Improvisation. He could do that. This plan definitely wasn’t going to end in disaster.

He nodded politely to Jess and she smiled. “Hello. I am here to see Lena Luthor.”

Jess bit back an amused smile and picked up the phone on her desk. “Miss Luthor? Querl Dox is here to see you.” She put it down after a moment and gestured to the large double doors. “You can go right in.”

Brainy nodded again in thanks and moved towards the office. Perhaps they should have drafted Jess into the plan.

Lena stood up and rounded her desk with a slightly confused yet genuine smile as he entered. “Brainy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He cleared his throat, standing awkwardly in the middle of her office. “I just came to see you. As friends do. Which we are.”

Lena’s eyebrows climbed almost imperceptibly. “Right. Drink?”

Brainy shook his head and she moved over to the side of her office to pour herself a glass of water. “So… I hear you and Kara are having a movie night tonight.”

A little bit of water sloshed over the side of the glass as Lena was pouring it. She had a faint blush on her cheeks when she turned back around which was odd because the AC in her office seemed to be working fine.

“Yes. Well we assumed you would all be too busy to join us. Are you and Nia doing anything tonight?” She sipped her water and moved back to lean against her desk.

Brainy lit up at the mention of Nia. “Yes! We are going paintballing.”

He spent the next half an hour talking about his date with Nia and Nia in general until they both had to get back to work.

Phase 2 (attempt 2) - Nia

“Kara!” Nia slid up to walk along beside her as she stepped from the elevator into the bullpen.

Kara smiled and started walking towards her desk. “Hey, Nia. What’s up?”

“Nothing! I mean… lots of things. The sky, the ceiling, …clouds.”

Kara looked at her a bit weirdly and she laughed awkwardly.

“Anyway… just came to see how you are, mentor.” She lightly punched Kara in the arm.

Kara raised an eyebrow, looking down at where Nia had punched her before slowly sitting down at her desk. “I’m good. Thank you.”

“Great! Oh by the way,” Nia smoothly segued into her part of the mission with complete subtlety and absolutely no suspiciousness, “I accidentally double ordered flowers and chocolates for Brainy. I figured I’d give one lot to you and maybe you could do something with them.”

She rushed over to her desk and grabbed the bouquet of flowers and heart-shaped box of chocolates waiting there, depositing them in front of Kara.

“Oh wow. Thanks Nia.” Kara grinned up at her before picking up the box of chocolates and peeling off the sellotape.

Nia’s eyes widened and she tried not to scream in panic as Kara opened the box and just started eating the chocolates. Kara offered one to her with a smile and she managed to croak out a “no thanks” before she ran off back to her desk to inform the group chat of the latest development.

Phase 4 - Kelly

Kelly sighed as her phone blew up with notifications of her panicking group of friends. How this had ended up being her life was a mystery.

The elevator slowed and opened to the bustling CatCo bullpen just as she saw Kara disappear through the emergency exit at the back. She sighed again and got straight back into the elevator, unlocking her phone.

Kelly: I’m guessing Kara just got called away for a Supergirl emergency?

Alex: Sorry

Kelly: Phase 4 failed

Alex: Shit. Brainy, I need you to take over phase 4 when Kara gets back to the DEO. Kelly, you just get to L-corp.

Nia: Wait but if I’m now going to L-corp to give Lena chocolates instead won’t it be a little suspicious that we’ve all suddenly decided to to go visit her on the same day?

Alex: Shit you’re right. Ok, Nia, you take over phase 6 while you’re at L-corp and Kelly, you come by Kara’s later for phase 4.

Phase 4b - Brainy

Brainy stared at his phone, unsure whether he was still supposed to be attempting phase 4. Before he could ask, Kara strode up beside him and sat on the desk he was sitting at.

“Did you see how hard I hit that guy?” Kara grinned, swinging her legs.

Brainy gulped, quickly turning off his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. “Yes. Very impressive. Is Alex back yet?”

Kara shook her head. “She and the backup team are just on their way back with the bad guy.”

He nodded. Right. Motivate Kara to tell Lena about her feelings. He could do this.

“Did you know that the mortality rate of unmarried people is much higher than that of married people?”

Kara’s head snapped over to him with a mildly horrified expression. “What?”

Perhaps that was not the right starting point. “Well… maybe that means one could keep someone they care about from dying so much by… marrying them?”

Kara chuckled. “Unfortunately I’m not sure marriage is a cure for death.”

There was a sadness creeping in behind her eyes and Brainy began to panic even further. Making Kara upset was definitely not part of the plan. He blurted out the first thing that came to mind to try to cheer her up again.

“Do you want to see a video of baby pandas that Nia sent me?”

Alex gave them a bit of an odd look when she got back to see them laughing at videos of pandas rolling around but Brainy would say improvised phase 4 had been a success.

Phase 2.5/ 6 - Kelly Nia

Nia strode into Lena’s office with her most friendly and least suspicious smile.

“Nia. What a surprise. You and Brainy in one day.” Lena stood and gave Nia a brief but warm hug.

She was wearing a jade sheath dress that brought out the green in her eyes, with sleeves that came down to just above her elbows. Her usual deep red lipstick was missing, replaced with a natural colour (or it may have just been lip balm). Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and had been left slightly wavy rather than perfectly straightened. At least they didn’t have to worry about making sure Lena looked good for tonight.

“Hey Lena. I just came by because I ordered too many chocolates for Brainy and I thought maybe you could have one to give to someone or something.” She sat casually in front of Lena’s desk, pulling another box of chocolates she had bought on the way over out her back and setting them on the desk.

Lena sat back down with an amused smile. “How thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

“You know,” Nia relaxed back into the chair, looking off into the distance in a completely normal and not at all overly dramatic gesture. “I’m so glad Brainy and I talked about how we felt. We’re so happy together and I can’t imagine how much I would have regretted not saying anything. You know… because we’re so happy together now and we wouldn’t be if neither of us had said anything”

Lena nodded slowly. “I’m glad you’re both so happy together.”

“And you know, we should always speak our minds.” She adopted the persona of a motivational speaker, channeling her inner Kelly. “Because we can’t let ourselves be silenced, Lena. You are a powerful woman with a great mind, great hair, and a jawline that could cut glass.”

“... thank you?”

Nia placed her hand over Lena’s on the desk, nodding seriously. “You’re welcome.”

And with that she stood and strutted out of the room.

Nailed it.

Phase 7 - Alex

Alex turned up at Kara’s just after she got home. Kara opened the door, looking very confused at the sight of her sister.

“Alex? What are you doing here? Don’t you have to get ready for your date?”

Alex pushed into the apartment, patting Kara’s arm on the way past. “I just came to see my little sister beforehand. Make sure you’re doing okay.”

Kara closed the door with a raised eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Alex shrugged, dropping her bag onto the kitchen island with a clunk. “Well I just wanted to see you since I can’t spend the evening with you. I didn’t want you to feel alone.”

Kara glanced at her watch. “Oh. Ok. Well Lena’s going to be here soon so you don’t have to worry.”

Alex waved her off and moved into her bedroom, flicking through the clothes on the rack.

“... what are you doing?”

Alex ignored her, picking out a neat navy blue button down. “Hey, why don’t you wear this? I haven’t seen you in it before.”

Kara frowned. “I’ve definitely worn that around you before.”

“Well I don’t remember.” She shoved the shirt into Kara’s arms and directed her towards the bathroom. “Put it on for me.” She decided Kara’s beige slacks were good enough, not wanting to push too far. Her hair was already perfectly curled in a half up half down look as though she had only just done it so that was fine.

Kara appeared again a moment later in the new shirt looking confused. Alex interrupted her before she could say anything.

“Brrrr. It’s cold in here.”

Kara frowned. “Is it?”

“Yes. Us humans get cold, you know.” She moved into the kitchen, not taking any questions. “You should light some candles.”

“Candles? To warm my apartment?”

Alex ignored her, rifling through cupboards for matches. She found them with a bunch of Kara’s own candles. A rather large number of candles actually that all looked new and smelled nice. Looks like she hauled all those candles over in her handbag for nothing.

Kara helped her set up the candles nicely around her apartment, continuously glancing over at her as though worried Alex had sustained some kind of head injury.

Alex was saved from having to come up with a more plausible explanation by a knock on the door.

Phase 4 (attempt ?) - Kelly

“Kelly? What are you doing here?”

Kelly hugged Kara and made her way into the now softly glowing and smelling faintly of sandalwood apartment. “I came to see you. I know how hard it can be for some people on Valentine’s day if they don’t have a romantic partner. But it’s completely normal and we shouldn’t be made to feel any less for it - in fact there are plenty of people who never have a relationship and lead very happy and fulfilled lives.”

Alex elbowed her in the side, smiling innocently.

Kelly cleared her throat, pushing back at Alex a little. “Although we also shouldn’t be afraid to look for a relationship. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and others, and sometimes things that seem scary can actually be okay and very rewarding.”

Alex nodded along beside her and Kara looked between the two of them.

She nodded slowly. “Right.”

Another knock at the door drew Kara’s attention away and Alex sighed in relief, holding her hand up to Kelly for a sneaky high five which she returned with an eye roll.

Kara’s voice took on a breathy awed quality that only ever appeared around Lena as she opened the door. “Lena. Hi.”

Lena smiled shyly, ducking her head. “Hi.”

Kara stepped aside to let her in, taking her coat.

“Hey Lena.” Alex waved at her.

Lena’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Alex. Kelly. I thought you two had a date?”

Alex nodded excessively, taking Kelly’s hand. “Yes we do. And we should really be going so that we’re not late.”

They awkwardly sidled between Kara and Lena out of the apartment, looking one last time between them before smiling and walking off down the hall.

Alex grinned as she heard the door close behind them. “Do you think it worked?”

Phase …???

They were just leaving Kara’s building when Nia and Brainy came running up to them.

“Alex! Kelly!” Nia doubled over, hands on her knees and breathing hard as she reached them. She thrust her hand out towards them, bouquet of roses clutched in her fist. “Kara forgot the flowers at CatCo.”

Alex gasped and snatched them from her hand, turning to rush back inside. Everyone else ran after her, taking the stairs two at a time. They stomped down the hall to Kara’s door and Alex pushed it open, all four of them bursting in.

Kara and Lena were locked in an open mouthed kiss in the kitchen, Lena pressed up against the island as Kara gripped her hips, thumb slipping under her shirt. Lena’s hands were tangled in Kara’s hair, pulling her closer in a decidedly non-platonic way. A bouquet of plumerias sat on the island behind them and the dining table was laid romantically with a meal that looked to be from France.

The pair sprang apart at the loud bang of Kara’s door against the wall, Lena ducking her head and pulling her lips into her mouth as Kara moved slightly in front of her as though attempting to hide that they had just been thoroughly making out.

The four in the doorway gaped at the scene before them.

“Well. I guess the plan worked.”

[mrsluthordanvers]

Prompt based on "must've been the wind" by Alec Benjamin? Bonus if it's a college AU? Pretty please ❤️

Song

This turned out much longer than I expected. I ended up writing it today while I was couch ridden because I sprained my ankle pretty bad this morning. I hope you like it :) (I suggest listening to the song first, but if you don’t here’s your warning that this does reference physical abuse)

Read on AO3

Kara pauses her movie and stares at her popcorn ceiling with a furrowed brow. Her fingers resting against her keyboard as she waits to see if she hears the sound again. Hesitating, Kara leans back in her pillow waiting another moment before she presses the spacebar on her laptop but lowers the volume. Her attention torn between her movie and straining to hear anything coming from the apartment above hers. 

Just when Kara’s attention starts to drift back to her movie she hears it again, clearer this time. The sound of something hitting a wall and shattering, a glass or a plate if Kara had to guess. 

Kara immediately sits up when it’s followed by the sound of a woman’s voice. Loud enough she can hear the strain in it as she talks, the way it hitches like she’s trying not to cry. Pausing her movie again Kara slides her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers and walks out into her shared living room. She makes it all the way to the door before she stops. Tapping the doorknob, Kara walks back to her bedroom with a shake of her head, thinking of all the times she’s accidentally dropped a dish in her apartment. 

Kara stops in the doorway of her bedroom before turning back towards the living room, thinking of the hitch in the woman’s voice. Head swiveling back and forth between her laptop on the bed and the door to her apartment, Kara takes one final look at her ceiling before walking steadfastly out the door.

Taking the elevator up to the second floor, Kara starts reading the apartment numbers until she comes to the one above her own. One deep breath and Kara raps on the door, waiting a moment listening for signs of someone coming to open the door. Knocking a second time, the door swings open mid knock. 

Kara’s fist hangs in the air as she stares at the brunette slack jawed. Piercing green eyes stare at her through a pair of thick rimmed glasses. The red puffy skin surrounding her eyes is only that much noticeable through the thick lenses. Raven hair falls in loose curls over her shoulders. A grey knit sweater is pulled up to her chin, the ends of her sleeves are fisted in her hands as she tucks them tight under her arms, shielding her body. 

“Yes?”

Kara blushes as she lowers her hand to fidget with the corner of her glasses.

“I, um, well, I thought I heard…” Kara stutters before she takes another deep breath and squares her shoulders. “I live in the apartment on the first floor below you, and I thought I heard glass shattering. And someone sounded really upset. So I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.” Kara softens as the brunette frees a hand to rub at the reddened tip of her nose with the back of her sweater.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?” The brunette asks tiredly as she tucks her hand back under her arm, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Are you okay?” Kara’s voice is low, almost down to whisper like she’s trying not to scare the brunette back into her apartment. 

The brunette finally tilts her chin to look up at Kara.

“I think your ears are playing tricks on you.” The brunette says with a soft smile that doesn’t quite make it to her eyes. Kara can’t help but notice how all the red seems to have suddenly disappeared, like the lighting in the hall was playing tricks on her. “It was really sweet of you to come and check on me though. Honestly, I wish I could tell you about the noise but I didn’t hear anything.

It must have been the wind.”

Kara’s brow wrinkles as the two stand in silence for a moment before the brunette finally tips her head back towards her apartment. “I really have to unpack...”

“Right!” Kara snaps out of her daze, and extends her hand. “I’m Kara. Like I said, I live on the first floor, so if you need anything…”

“I know where to find you.” The brunette smiles as she wraps a cool hand around Kara’s warm one. “I’m Lena.”

---

Kara looks for Lena everywhere on campus after that.

She finds her eyes constantly drifting over crowds of students searching for raven hair and green eyes. It isn’t until she goes into the depths of one of the science buildings in search of her sister’s lab that she finds Lena hunkered down at a scratched wood table pushed under a concrete staircase. A bright orange-red knit sweater replacing the grey sweater Kara had seen the week before.

“Lena!” Kara shouts a little too loudly, making the other woman startle in her seat. Looking up from her textbook with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kara smiles apologetically as she slides into the chair opposite Lena and points a thumb at herself. “Kara. We met the other  week. I knocked on your apartment door in the middle of the night.”

“Right. I remember.” Lena smiles, her eyes scrunching slightly. “My hero.” 

“Pffft.” Kara waves a hand, trying to will away the blush she can feel creeping up from her chest. “Not a hero when there was nothing to save you from, right?”

Lena’s smile fades for a moment before coming back. The creases around her eyes disappear. 

“Right.”

“What are you studying?” Kara’s eyes sweep across the textbook, lingering on thin wrists peeking out from the sweater. A shadow of a bruise visible just above a thick black watch.

“Have you ever heard of quantum entanglement?” Lena’s forced smile turns into a smirk as she runs her fingers through her hair and leans forward on the table, a hand cupped under her chin.

---

Despite the warm weather it’s another three weeks before Kara sees Lena wearing something other than a thick wool sweater. Her brain comes to a grinding halt mid sentence as Lena passes her in the cafeteria dressed in a vibrant skirt that’s cinched above her belly button and a black crop. Flashing Kara a shy smile and a few inches of pale abdomen.

---

It’s another two weeks before Kara works up the courage to ask Lena out. Her stuttering question is met with a chaste kiss pressed to the corner of her mouth, and a whisper.

Yes.

---

It’s the night before Kara is supposed to leave for the Thanksgiving weekend when she hears the sound of shattering glass again. And the yelling, louder this time. Lena’s voice is recognizable to her now, but the other is new, and it makes the hair on her arms stand.

Swiftly climbing out of bed, Kara makes it up to the second floor in record time even with the broken elevator. 

Her knocks are louder this time, more insistent. When Lena answers the door this time her eyes are still wet with tears and she holds the door tight against her side.

“Lena...what’s wrong?” Kara steps forward, halting when Lena shies away. “I thought I heard something break, I thought I heard you yelling.”

Kara tries to look over Lena’s shoulder but Lena blocks her view. Placing a hand to Kara’s chest as she steps further into the hallway, pushing Kara back a step. 

“It’s nothing Kara. Go back to your apartment.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re crying!”

“Kara…” Lena’s voice hardens in warning as she retracts her hand, Kara’s chest turning cold.

“Lena…” Kara implores, begging Lena to let her help. 

“Go back to your apartment. We’ll talk when you get back from Midvale.” Lena steps back into her apartment and closes the door leaving Kara to stare at the peeling paint. 

Slowly Kara steps away from the door, pacing back and forth a couple times before she slowly returns to her apartment. Throwing herself down on her bed, Kara stares up at the ceiling. The noises are muted compared to early. Mostly heavy footfalls and the occasional rise in voices before she hears a door slam and it all goes silent. 

Kara doesn’t know how long she lays in the dark staring at the ceiling before there’s a soft knock at her apartment door. Creeping from her bedroom, Kara opens the door before it can wake her roommates. 

“Lena.” Kara whispers as she takes in her girlfriend standing in the hallway looking tiny in another oversized wool sweater.

“Can I come in?” Kara nods as she opens the door wider to let Lena pass. Closing and locking the door behind her, Kara follows Lena into her bedroom to find her standing in the middle of the room not moving. 

“Come here.” Kara whispers as she shimmies out of her jeans she never took off earlier, and slides her bra through one sleeve and climbs into bed with the covers held open. 

Lena follows Kara’s lead, slowly pushing her leggings down her hips before she tugs as the sleeves of her sweater. Her pale skin catching in the filtered moonlight. Kara’s breath hitches as Lena slowly pulls the sweater over her head revealing a spray of bruises down both arms. Dark spots visible where fingers clearly dug deep. 

Kara drapes the blanket over Lena’s shoulders as she slides into bed facing Kara. Her breath warm against Kara, her face almost hidden in the dark.

They stay silent for so long, Kara begins to think Lena’s fallen asleep.

“My brother was angry that I wasn’t coming home for Thanksgiving.” Lena whispers into the dark.

“He thinks it’s time I start working for the family business.” Lena’s voice hardens a little. 

“Not in Research and Development. Apparently I’m not ready for that yet. No, Lillian and him just want me there to parade me around to wealthy families with single sons in hopes of getting their businesses under false pretenses.”

Kara’s hands clench under the blankets at the idea of Lena being shown off like prize cattle. Auctioned off to the highest bidder. 

“That’s what we argued about last time, when you first came to my apartment. He had driven me back to school. He was so happy and said he was proud of all the work I was doing here. And then he said he’d be back in November to pick me up for the gala this weekend and we got in a fight…” Kara can tell Lena’s trying not to cry as she breathes deeply. 

“I got you.” Kara murmurs as she wiggles a little, letting Lena close the remaining space between them before she wraps an arm around her waist and holds her tight. Pressing kisses against Lena’s hairline as tears wet the pillow beneath both their heads. “I got you.”

“I know you said you were going to stay on campus and study for your exams...but did you want to come to Midvale with me and Alex tomorrow?” Kara asks softly, as she nuzzles deep into Lena’s hair, smiling when she feels Lena nod against her shoulder. 

---

It’s the last month before summer break when Kara finally broaches the subject. Exams still loom over their heads, but Kara knows that isn’t the reason for the tension growing in Lena’s body. Or why she’s been startling so easy for the last couple weeks. 

“I want to ask you something.” Kara rolls onto her belly to look at Lena sitting at her desk pouring over a textbook. 

“Lena?”

“Hmm?” Lena hums as she scribbles something down. 

“You know Alex and I made plans to stay in National City this summer.”

“That sounds nice.” Lena replies airily. 

“It is nice.” Kara says earnestly, pushing up onto her knees now. “The lease is for a year.”

Kara knows Lena is listening now, because she can see the way her back stiffens and her pencil freezes over her notebook. Afraid of where Lena’s brain may start to drift Kara rushes to finish.

“Alex and I made the plans ages ago before we even started dating, before we even knew each other, so I didn’t feel like I could break my promise. But I did talk to Alex. And we both agreed that we have lots of space and you should live with us. Obviously it’s only a two bedroom so you and I would share a room. But if you don’t think we’re there yet I’m sure we could get a hide-a-bed and I could sleep on the couch. Or we could-”

“Kara.”

Kara stops talking as Lena turns towards her with a growing smile. 

“I would love to live with you and Alex.” Lena stands, slowly walking towards Kara on the bed. Her hand moving to brush back a stray hair Kara had tugged free from her ponytail as they studied. 

“And I don’t see any reason we would need to buy a hide-a-bed. Except maybe for your friends to stay over when they’ve been drinking.” 

“Really?” Kara asks a little breathlessly as Lena settles onto the bed in front of her, Lena’s knees framing her own.

“Really.” Lena whispers as she leans forward to kiss Kara.

[pippytmi]

Celeb au + exes + if you're happy then I'm happy

How does that make you feel?

It’s an odd phenomenon, really. It seems like Lena can’t go anywhere without getting any variation of that question. If she were wittier (in her own public image, at least) she would start giving funny replies. Shitty, thank you, she would say one day. Then pretty damn good on another, just so she could really stir up the tabloids.

But even though Kara wouldn’t care (hell, Kara would laugh about it), Lena doesn’t want to be that ex, the one still hung up on a love that has clearly run its course. It’s bad enough that she is still in touch with Kara—that she still hangs out with her—that she still pretends they’re friends—that she still meets her on the beach front as they talk about whether or not to give that new insufferable director a shot.

Kara never dresses properly for the occasion. Her sunglasses are perched on her head even though the sun is bright, hot; she is so stupid, never able to disguise herself. Already she’s getting double-takes, second looks, beachgoers all wondering the same thing—is that Kara Danvers?

So how does it feel, knowing she’s moved on? Fine. Just fine. Ask another question, please, and it can be anything. Anything but that.

“Coke or Pepsi?”

Or that one. “I don’t know why you even ask,” says Lena, and when she takes the sweating Pepsi can she revels in its chill. “What’s up with your look today?” 

“What do you mean?” As Kara cracks open her Coke can, it spills over her hand. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” she adds absentmindedly, wiping at the lid of her drink with the sleeve of the shirt tied around her waist.

“You’re not wearing a bathing suit, for starters,” Lena says. “People are staring.”

Kara leans in close. “Actually, they’re staring because I’m standing with the Lena Luthor,” she whispers. She nearly takes out her own eye on the corner of Lena’s glasses because of her proximity, which further proves how idiotic she can be.

Lena rolls her eyes. “Let’s go before they start asking for autographs,” she says, and pretends that her heart has not since started beating at twice its normal speed.

How does it feel to be single? It feels like this—they head to Kara’s car, drive to a cliffside, and the only thing Lena can think about is the urge to reach over and brush away the flyaway hairs that have escaped Kara’s messy bun. The wind whips around Kara’s face in a manner that makes her grimace, but she does not make an effort to fix up her hair; instead she complains about it, dramatically enough that Lena has to resist laughter.

“Okay. Imagine this. I have to get to hair and makeup by four in the morning, and Nia is supposed to get there even earlier. So instead of doing the rational thing and waking me up to go with her when she gets up, you know what she does? She leaves! She leaves in my car, Lena. Left me stranded at three-thirty in the morning, twelve miles away from location…”

What is it like, seeing your ex with someone new? It is just like holding an unopened Pepsi can while your ex talks. Kara’s story—amusing as it is—quickly loses its humor at the conclusion.

“Andrea dropped me off only ten minutes late,” Kara finishes, “but everyone still blamed me for it, can you believe it? They think I should’ve woken up at two in the morning myself!”

“Clearly they don’t know how you sleep like the dead.” Lena’s attempt at a light tone doesn’t quite work. Kara, at least, does not comment on the fact.

“Right?” Kara takes another sip from her coke. This is her second can—she always says she’s going to give up sugar, but never actually attempts to. “I told them they were lucky I was even there at four.”

“One of these days you’ll be fired for your sass, and it’ll be warranted.” Lena turns over the can once, twice, three times in her hands. It is no longer cold to the touch, warmed enough that if she were to open it now it would be room temperature.

“Whatever,” Kara chuckles, mouth pressed against the rim of her can. Eventually she pauses, glances over at Lena, then down at the can in her hands. “So…what’s up with you? How are you doing?” 

How are you? Frankly, she is missing shitty radio station 108.9, which played either a-ha’s “Take on Me” or Usher’s “U Got It Bad” no matter the hour or the day. Without fail, Kara would serenade Lena with both—albeit with varying success.

“I’m okay,” is what Lena actually relays. “I’m working on a film with Sam. No makeup mishaps like yours yet, but, time will tell.” She wishes she could peel away the Pepsi label in this instant; wishes she could splinter the label from the metal, crumble it to powder. Her fingernails, a ruby red to match her lipstick, press against its letters and she wishes she could dismantle it personally. “Beside having to drive you places, how’s…Andrea?”

She wishes she could go one meeting without asking about her. Judging by the way Kara’s smile slowly fades, she feels the same way.

“She’s good,” Kara says. “Great, really, just—busy when she’s not driving me to work at four in the morning.”

“That’s nice.” Lena tries to mean it. She really, really does.

Kara rubs at the bridge of her nose absentmindedly. “Yeah,” she says. “We’re happy.” This she says quieter, like she is not sure if she’s allowed to say so or not.

Lena swallows thickly. “Good,” she says. “I don’t know if you saw that dumb…I don’t know. Some article that twisted my words, saying that I hate Andrea.”

“No, definitely not,” says Kara quickly. “I mean, I did see it, but I know they totally reported it wrong.“

“Yes, they certainly did.” And because she has to—because Kara expects it—Lena says, “If you’re happy then I’m happy. You know that, right?”

The corner of Kara’s mouth twists; it is almost a smile. “I know,” she says. “But it…it goes both ways, too. Are you—are you happy? If that’s not a weird question to ask, I guess.”

Kara might as well be asking how do you feel about us?, and that is not a question Lena is equipped to answer. She drums her fingernails against the warming can, exhales slowly and evenly. “I am,” she says. Kara does not address this lie either, nor does she look particularly surprised to hear it.

Instead she reaches for a third soda. This time, it’s a Pepsi.

[clankitsfanfiction]

Thought: Indescribable Feeling (Disco Elysium Harry x Kim Oneshot)

Summary: PROBLEM: You've been friends with Kim for a while now. You feel like you know him well, or at least better than most of the people he interacts with. You can recognize the curve of his slight smile, the sparkle in his eye when he’s teasing you, and, of course, you’ve felt the authority his eyebrow holds. You know about his childhood wish to be a pilot, his secret love of science fiction, and just how big of a torque dork he is. You’re privy to the facts he keeps hidden, like how he struggles with showing emotions, how he still feels lonely despite the fact he enjoys isolation, his desire to do good in the world. Still, there's something about him that unsettles you— is it in his glasses, the lilt of his mouth, his knowledgeable eyes? And unsettles isn't really the right word, is it—but what is? What is this feeling when you look at Kim? Maybe if you think about it long enough, you can figure it out.

***

“Kim, how did you know you were... y’know?”He just raises an eyebrow. Of course, for all the times for his deductive reasoning to fail him, it had to be now, when you were asking him about his… sexuality. God, you can barely think the word in your head—how the hell are you supposed to say it out loud?

(read this on Archive of Our Own here or below the cut)

You're sitting in your shitty apartment, at your shitty table, in your shitty chair. The place is a lot cleaner than when you first saw it a month ago. When Kim broke into it with you—meaning when Kim called a locksmith and paid her for you—the place was covered in so much trash you could barely see the stained carpet floor. Half-drunk bottles of alcohol were littered around the place like you’d had a party the night before, different drugs and pills dotting your living room like fairy lights. Honestly, you’re surprised your past self would leave alcohol just lying around like this. You haven’t had a drop since you first woke up in the Whirling Rags, but your hands started itching and your brain started whispering when it noticed how easy it’d be to stuff some pills in your pocket or wrap your lips around the mouth of a bottle. Kim was kind enough to take care of all the narcotics for you, so you dealt with the more regular kinds of trash.

It was a two-day effort, all-in-all, with the first day focusing on just untrashing your place and the second on actually making it clean, scrubbing the floors and such. Kim helped you with all of it—you weren’t cleared back for work yet, and he’d taken a few days off after The Hanged Man. You felt guilty for having him spend some of his precious time off just cleaning you up, but were too much of a sack of shit to tell him he didn’t need to help. You’re pretty sure you did need his help, anyways—you definitely wouldn’t have been emotionally prepared to confront this relic of the past on your own.  

You have a plastic tare in your hands, and your fingers are peeling away at the wrapper surrounding it advertising whatever brand. Damn Capitalists. The little sticky pieces cling to your hands in a pale imitation of what they once were, whole, together. They’re searching desperately for something to hold on to. You’re vaguely reminded of how your past refuses to leave you, despite the fact your amnesia appears to be here to stay. You shake your hand, but the scraps stay on. Awkwardly, you try to pick them off with your left hand, hoping they won’t stick to it. You’re stalling. You're nervous. Of course you are. How could you not be, with what you’ve been thinking about lately?

Kim is sitting across from you, silent, as usual. He’s watching you fail to rid yourself of the stupid plastic remnants with a mildly amused look in his eyes. His own water is near untouched. He’d probably be drinking wine if he was with anyone else. You’re stuck between feeling guilty at denying him one of his few indulgences and feeling so damn grateful that you want to hug him. You two have been making rather pleasant conversations most of the night. You’ve discussed lots of things, like your current cases, his cases, how long it might take for Lena to mail a reply, whether or not Kim will be able to talk his way into transferring the Coupris Kineema to Precinct 41 anytime soon. The current lull in talk is comfortable, natural—a thing of friendship. Kim knows you, knows how you work, how you speak, how you breathe. He knows you have something on your mind, and he'll wait until you're ready to say it. Until then, he’ll sit there, patiently waiting. God, Kim’s so cool.

How well do you know Kim? Sure, you became friends over the course of The Hanged Man investigation, but how well do you really know him? Yes, okay, he joined Precinct 41 because you suggested it, and he’s not your partner anymore (Jean said he’d “put up with too much of your shit to be ousted by the first guy you latched onto after drinking yourself into fucking amnesia”) but you still see each other every day. He’s been your rock ever since you came into existence, but you haven’t been his. You’re like an annoying yappy dog with separation anxiety, except it’s also an alcoholic. Who the fuck wants a depressed acoholic dog following them around?  

See, the thing is, there's this thought in your head. You've had it in there for quite a while, but you've yet to come up with a solution. You don't know what's going on, what's happening in your head and body. You don't understand it. You're not sure if you want to.

See, the thing is, you look at Kim, and there's a drop in your stomach. A punch to the gut. It feels like you've stepped off the edge of a cliff backwards, your eyes pointed helplessly towards the sky as you plummet to the ground. You don't know what's beneath you. You don't know what you're rushing towards.

It's not a bad thing, necessarily. It's a little uncomfortable, a little sad, a little desperate, but also—hopeful? Wistful? Longing, maybe?

Your tongue is thick and heavy in your mouth like a brick weighing down a tarp—how could it not be, with what you're about to ask? Kim is a very private person. It took you ages to work up the confidence to call him your friend outside the privacy of your own mind, and sometimes, you're still not sure he is. He might just be indulging the demands of his superior, or hanging out with you completely due to pity. How could someone so cool be friends with you? Thankfully, you're pretty sure it's only a little bit due to pity (how could anyone look at the sack of shit you are and not pity you) as he does seem to genuinely enjoy your company, for whatever reason.

Kim must have other friends he hangs out with. He’s a little anti-social, but he’s a nice guy, and pleasant to be around. Very amicable. You wonder if he misses anyone from Precinct 57. He must, he was there for what, twenty years? No way he’s completely a lone wolf after that much time. Does he miss them? Does he regret transferring? You’re the one who put the idea out there, so if he does, he must also regret meeting you.

He’s neatly slotted into the C-Wing at Precinct 41. Jean respects him, both as an officer and as a person, perhaps doubly so for being willing to put up with so much of your shit. McLaine and Torson admire how badass and cool he is. Minot appreciates his quiet and reserved nature, as does Pidieu. Even Gottlieb seems to like him, probably because he, unlike most of the other officers, is cautious and tries not to end up with more scars than necessary. And Trant is just a civilian consultant, but they seem to get along well enough. But, again, he must’ve had friends, good friends even, at 57. You feel guilty for dragging him away from them, you greedy bastard. You find something good and precious and you grab it and hold on tight with your big fucking paws. You’re a bastard who will hold on whenever there’s something good in your life until it crumbles due to the pressure you put on it.

No. No, Goddamit, fuck that. Kim chose to transfer. He could’ve brushed off your suggestion, politely smiled at you and declined, but he took it seriously and thought about it and made the final decision. Kim’s a fucking adult, and a Dolores-damn badass, he knows how to take care of himself. He knows how to take care of himself and then some. He took care of you during The Hanged Man case and he’s continuing to take care of you now. He’s someone with intense personal boundaries who’s decided to become friends with a recovering alcoholic and let you cry on his shoulder. Sure, you may have developed an unhealthy amount of dependency on him and his opinion of you, but you’re also recovering for yourself, damn it.

It is unhealthy, though, how much you’re doing it to make Kim proud of you. But you can’t help it. You can’t help how you feel about him.

You should say something. It’s been a little too long for this silence to be comfortable. Besides, you’ve been avoiding the topic you want to ask him about for long enough. You wish you had someone else to ask about this—you think Judit might be able to help, maybe even Jean, but they both knew you before, and you think it’d only hurt all of you if you asked them about it. And it would be unbelievably awkward. It’s going to be awkward enough asking Kim, who only knows your sins through stories instead of personal experience.

You clear your throat. “Kim, how did you know you were... y’know?”

He just raises an eyebrow. Of course, for all the times for his deductive reasoning to fail him, it had to be now, when you were asking him about his… sexuality. God, you can barely think the word in your head—how the hell are you supposed to say it out loud?

Alright, better to just dive in head first. Get it over with. Straight and simple. Or, would that be gay and simple? Non-straight and simple?

God, okay, focus. Asking Kim about sexuality. Go.

“Kim, how did you know you were a homo-sexual?”

His breath doesn’t catch , exactly, and you’re sure you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking, but his eyes widen just a fraction, and he leans back just the slightest bit, the chair not even creaking his weight shifts so little. Whatever he was expecting you to ask, it clearly wasn’t that .

He gives himself a moment to think by pulling off his glasses and cleaning them with the cloth that he always keeps handy. You don’t call him out on it—it’s an intensely personal question, after all, and he deserves a second to consider it.

He puts his glasses back on and looks at you. The light catches them in just a way to make his eyes invisible in the gleam. Finally, he gives you a wry grin. “You clearly didn’t stop obsessing about sexuality.”

“See, the thing is, I just sort of tabled the issue for the time being, as we were busy solving a murder and there was other stuff to think about it. But then we solved the murder, and then I had plenty of time to think, but I’ve yet to come up with any conclusions.” You’ve finally gotten all of the plastic off your hands, and drum your newly clean fingers against the table. “Sorry I’m asking you about all of this stuff again. The only other people I really know are you and the others at Precinct 41. And I don’t think I’m on good enough standing to talk to them about it. Sorry,” you add again for good measure.

(You’ve been trying to cut back on the sorries, but it’s hard. Jean has threatened more than once to put a Sorry Jar on your desk, and you think the only reason he hasn’t is because he hasn’t found a jar big enough.)

Kim takes a deep breath. His fingers seem to twitch absentmindedly, and you’re sure if he was less principled, he’d been fiddling with the neck of his jacket or chewing on the side of his cheek, which you’d only seen him done once, when the two of you were interviewing a particularly racist woman in the precinct who had two young children with her.

“I was thirteen, I think.” You struggle not to interrupt—that’s so young! You’re not even sure if you knew you were… whatever you are before, and you had 44 years to figure it out. “There… there was a boy I liked. His name was Daniel. He was a bit of a rebel, skipping class to smoke, and he claimed to own a motorcycle, though I never saw it. I liked him.”

Hm… Well, that’s not particularly helpful. It’s not like you can talk about your own maybe-possibly homo-sexual awakening, since you’re pretty sure it involves—

What does it involve?

Wait, shit, Kim’s about to speak again.

“Harry…” Oh snap! He pulled out your name! He’s only done that, like, five times! “I’m making some assumptions about what you’re struggling with, and I wanted to ask if you’ve ever head of bi-sexuality?”

You rack your brain, but, nope, nada, nothing. No no nopey nope. But bi stands for two, right?

“Don’t think so. But I’m pretty sure bi stands for two, so I’m guessing it has to do with the number two?”  

Kim gives you a small smile, and you struggle not to preen under his approving eyes. “Yes. Bi-sexuality refers to individuals who are attracted to two, or possibly more, genders.” He waits quietly for you to process this.

Oh. Oh. Oh! Bi- sexuality, meaning two, as compared to homo-sexuality, meaning those attracted to the same gender. That was a pretty easy leap, now that you think about it. You should’ve been able to do it on your own.

Bi-sexuality. Attraction to multiple genders. Huh. You’re pretty sure that’s what you are. Feels nice to have some kind of label for yourself. You mouth the words, testing them out in your mouth. Bi-sexual. You wonder how Kim learned about all of this. Though if he’s known he’s a part of the Homo-sexual Underground since he was thirteen, he’s had a lot of time to research this, probably. You wonder if Kim once thought he was bi-sexual. That one is probably a bit too personal, not that that’s stopped you before, but no reason to push.

Wait. Multiple genders? As in, more than two?

“Wait. Multiple genders? As in, more than two?”

Kim reaches across the table and pats your resting left hand. “I think that’s a conversation for another time, hmm?”

Sounds good to you! You’ve had enough learning for tonight.

“Thank you for this, Kim. Really, I mean it. Sorry again about asking.”

He smiles again and leans toward you, letting his gloved palm settle on your shoulder. “No need to apologize, Harry. I’m happy to help educate you on your journey of self-discovery. Though perhaps give me a bit more warning next time. If you’d like, I can lend you some reading materials.”

He lets his hand drop back to his side, but you still feel the heat in your body where his gloved skin touched you. You burn with it. The feeling of his touch has lit some sort of fire in you, and the way he’s looking at you is only fanning the flames.

You barely manage to give a tiny nod in response to his statement, and your hands fly to your tare bottle again, desperate to clutch something and have a weight to ground yourself.

Kim settles back into his chair, content again, and you figure he’s giving you more time to process the new information he’s giving you. A Kim secret about his childhood and a big clue (if not the answer) about your sexuality. God, he’s so cool.

You find it in you to look at Kim again, out of the corner of your eye, and suddenly, finally, the thought clicks in your head. Whatever is going on with you, whatever is happening, you seem to have finally figured it out. At the very least, you’ve put a name to the feeling you have when you stare at him.

When you look at Kim, his dissecting eyes, his thick glasses, his quirked eyebrow, the subtle curve in the corner of his lips that's like a secret little smile just for himself, one you wouldn’t be able to read if you weren’t so attuned to him, the brush of his hair that he keeps oh so neatly managed, his gloves clean of any sign of his smoking, of the one cigarette he allows himself, one of his few vices he indulges in, Dolores Dei, his everything—

It's yearning.

You look at Kim, and you yearn. You yearn to touch the slender fingers that lay beneath his thick leather gloves, to examine his dark eyes up close, to feel his hands on you, to, to, to—

For what, though? What exactly do you yearn for?

That thought will take you at least another eight hours. Or twenty hours. Or whatever.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 21 of don’t read the last page is here!

masterpost

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

“Happy birthday, Kris.”

He reached into the bag and pulled out a square of fabric; he let it fall open and, after reading what was on the front of the t-shirt, looked at Anna with a mixture of shock and amusement.

Ellie squinted at it from the far end of the table. “Best dad ever? Why does it say that? I don’t get it.”

march

"Call me as soon as you're done, okay?"

"What if you're in the middle of saving a bunny's life or something?"

"I won't be. I'll probably still be at lunch."

Anna sighed in relief and stepped closer, leaning her forehead against his chest. "Oh, good. I'm nervous as fuck."

"Why?" he asked, settling his arms around her.

"I don't know. Just...now that I'm excited about it, I'm worried it'll be a false alarm after all or like...that something's wrong."

Kristoff kissed the top of her head. "It's going to be fine, baby. I'm sure of it."

She tilted her face up towards him, propping up her chin on his chest. "Why does everything sound so reassuring when you say it? Tell me something else that'll make me feel better."

"Uh...like what?"

"I don't know. That I'll never get morning sickness and only be in labor for five minutes."

"I don't think either of those things can really happen. But," he said quickly, seeing the disappointment on her face, "it'll be worth it. Because then we'll get to meet our baby. Who, just saying, is going to be the coolest kid of all time and will definitely be a Mario Kart prodigy."

She smiled and raised up on her toes to kiss him. "Love you."

"Love you back."

And then, because that seemed to be the way of things in his life these days, he had had to miss lunch in order to help out with an emergency surgery and missed lunch. The dog in question, thankfully, was completely fine, but his heart was pounding as he scrambled to check his phone. Ryder raised an eyebrow at the way he rushed into the break room. “All good, man?”

“Great,” Kristoff said absentmindedly as he flicked open his texts from Anna.

hey no worries that you didnt pick up sure u just got busy but congratulations dad🎈🎉👶

nov 12 is the due date but they said prob will be late since its our first

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love you

For a moment he just stared down at the screen, hardly daring to breathe. So this was really happening; by the end of the year, he’d have a one-month-old baby. He was going to be a father.

“Stop mooning over the girlfriend and come help me in the kennels,” Ryder called.

“Fiancee,” Kristoff said absentmindedly before typing out a quick response, ignoring the exaggerated gasp of shock from the doorway.

I can’t wait. Love you back :)

---

“Kristoff?”

“Distractions won’t work this time,” he replied through clenched teeth.

“I’m not even racing this time, dumbass. What’s in 209 days?”

“Huh? I-- fuck!” he shouted as he drove right off the edge of the track, to Anna and Ryder’s delight, and promptly fell to last place.

“Watch out, Nattura,” Anna growled. “I’m coming for your ass.”

“Was she always like this?” Honey asked, amused, from where she was sprawled across the armchair.

“Yes,” Elsa replied from her spot on the floor, not looking up from her phone. “It was worst when we played Candyland, because there’s not even a point to being competitive at that.”

“Hello? Does anyone care about this ominous countdown on the fridge?” Sven asked again, huffing when he was drowned out by Anna’s cheering as she threw a banana peel in front of Ryder’s kart and secured a last-second victory.

Kristoff, at last, glanced at him. “Will you get me a beer while you’re over there?”

“Yes, if you tell me what the fuck is in 209 days and if I need to like, buy a Geiger counter or something.”

“Anna?” Honey asked suddenly, sitting up. “Everything good?”

“Fine,” she said distantly, suddenly the same shade of white as her t-shirt.

 Ryder, his eyes wide, put an arm around her shoulders to keep her from swaying off the sofa. “Jesus, is winning Mario Kart that exciting?” he asked.

“That’s like, November…” Sven said, frowning. “Why is Thanksgiving making you pass out?”

“I’m not passing out,” Anna said, her voice distant, and Kristoff swore under his breath, hastily getting to his feet and crossing to the kitchen himself to get a glass of water. “I’m pregnant, though.”

No one reacted until Elsa’s phone hit the floor, and then they all burst into a cacophony of questions.

“You’re what--”

“How long have you--”

“What the fuck--”

“I think I am going to actually pass out if you don’t all shut up,” Anna said, her voice suddenly nearly a shout, and they all froze and turned to look at her. 

Kristoff handed her the glass of water then, and she took a long gulp before meeting her sister’s gaze. “I was going to tell you tonight, Elsa,” she explained, “you know, family and all. And the rest of you guys in a few more weeks when, you know, it’s less…” She waved a hand. “Risky. But...yes. We’re, uh, we’re having a baby. November 12th, mark your calendars for Anna Arendelle’s performance of a lifetime.”

Sven was the first to speak. “Damn,” he said, taking a sip of the beer he’d finally regained the sense to crack open, “you’re really gonna do that to some kid?”

“Do what?” she asked with a slight frown.

“Make him be a goddamn giant and a ginger.”

--

april

“You don’t have to stay up with me,” Anna said hoarsely as he passed her a glass of water. "You only signed up for morning sickness duties, not every hour of the day and night sickness watch."

“I won’t be able to sleep knowing you don’t feel good.”

“Yeah, but now you won’t be able to stay awake at the clinic tomorrow.”

“That’s what coffee is for,”

She sighed and wiped her hand across her mouth. “I think it’s over for now.”

Kristoff leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Are you sure?”

“No. But I hope it is.”

“Me, too,” he said, getting to his feet before reaching down and offering a hand to help her up. She stumbled slightly, and he caught her, eyebrows knitting together with concern. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

“I wanna brush my teeth,” she said, yawning.

He waited while she did, and she couldn’t help but smile at him in the mirror when he let out his own yawn, rubbing sleepily at his eyes under his glasses. “I love you,” she said around the toothbrush, and he laughed.

“Even though it’s my fault you’re sick right now?”

“Both of ours, really. Your fault for being so handsome, and my fault for taking full advantage of that,” she said, cheerful again now that the nausea had passed as she bounced back to bed. “Or maybe it’s the baby’s fault.”

“We’ll have to give her a stern talking to,” Kristoff replied, lifting the blankets for her as she clambered in. “Put her in timeout and everything.”

Anna laughed, nestling against his chest the moment he was beside her once more. “You really are convinced it’s a girl, aren’t you?”

“Mmhmm,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Who’s going to look exactly like you.”

“I don’t know,” she hummed. “I’m kind of hoping for a little boy.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just...sometimes I think about what it’ll be like when they’re here, and I just...I keep imagining how it would feel to look over and see you holding a little boy and think ‘that’s him, that’s our son’.”

Suddenly there was a lump in his throat. “Well...well, I guess that would be okay, too.”

---

Sam was surprisingly misty-eyed when she told him. “Look at you, kiddo,” he kept saying, over and over, and she was half-tempted to get up and walk around his desk to give him a hug around the neck.

Lena, though, was so efficiently business-like that Anna just sat silently in her chair, grateful for Kristoff’s hand in hers. “Do we have a timeline?”

“Yes, November twelfth is--”

“Not that. For when you want to go public. Although that does give us a firm deadline.”

Anna let out a surprised little laugh, but Lena just raised an eyebrow; apparently that hadn’t been a joke. Kristoff squeezed her hand and said, “The sooner the better. Might as well get it over with.”

“Well, if we go ahead and go public now, it’s going to hurt Anna’s engagement numbers and detract from the film’s first trailer coming out next week. If we wait until, say, June, it’ll fall perfectly in the lull between the first and second trailers and give us time to start setting the narrative on track well before the press tours. I’ll see what I can do to make sure anything out of state is done before you’re not allowed to fly. When’s the wedding?”

Anna blinked for a moment, trying to process the rapid-fire stream of information. “Um. We didn’t set a date yet.”

“Hmm,” Lena said with a frown. “Well, let’s try to get on that. People will want to know. Too bad you’re not already married, I’d say release a picture of you in the dress and you’d be on the cover of People. For now, though, just a picture of both of you is enough.”

“We don’t want to do that, though,” Anna said quickly before Kristoff could start to get nervous. “Just let them know that he, you know, exists. I don’t want to make it easier for them to find him.”

“Alright. I’d suggest social media, since your fans feel very close to you and will appreciate hearing it directly. But an interview is always a good default if you want a pro’s help putting it in the best way possible.”

She shifted slightly in her seat. “Um. I’m kind of...out of my depth here. Sam?”

He blinked. “Oh, sorry, I was just-- do you remember the day you wandered into my office for the first time, kiddo, with those roller skates?”

“Of course I do,” she said fondly.

“Anyway. I’d do the interview. Better safe than sorry.”

Lena nodded. “Right. Let me find someone willing to do a feature on you,” she said, diving back in to her laptop. 

The rest of them sat in awkward silence for a moment before Kristoff cleared his throat. “So,” he began, “what do I need to do?”

Sam shrugged. “Be on good behavior. Don’t do anything that would embarrass her. Don’t go out in pajamas or get a DUI or anything. If the fans are getting too pushy, help her get out. If paparazzi starts shouting, don’t ever shout back. Even if they say--”

“Done,” Lena announced suddenly. “Tomorrow afternoon downtown. No lunch required, just tea, so no need to worry about getting sick.”

“I haven’t been that sick,” Anna said defensively, and beside her Kristoff coughed.

Sam grinned again. “Look at you, kiddo,” he said again. 

“Look at me what, puking?”

“Getting ready to be a mom,” he said, and suddenly she felt a little misty-eyed, too.

--- 

may

“Jesus!” Anna yelped. “I was dead asleep!”

“Sorry,” Kristoff mumbled as he sat down on the warm spot on the sofa she’d just been evicted from, settling her on his lap and promptly burying his face in her shoulder.

She frowned, carding her fingers through his hair. “I was having a very good dream, I’ll have you know,” she said, though there was no real irritation in her voice. “About puppies, I think.”

“You can go back to sleep,” he said, his voice muffled against her shirt.

“I will when you tell me what’s wrong.”

His arms tightened around her waist. “Give me a minute.”

She hummed her agreement and turned to press a kiss into his hair, relishing the feel of him so close against her, enough that their breathing was slowly syncing up as their chests rose and fell together. Worry was tugging at her, to be sure, about what could have upset him enough to not bother with even a hello, but it helped more than a little to know that he would tell her before long so she could help fix it, instead of letting it linger like an untreated wound in his heart.

“Sorry,” he said again, pulling back with a sigh to rest his forehead against hers. “Just needed a second.”

“‘S’okay, baby. No rush.”

He closed his eyes, moving the hand that wasn’t supporting her back to rest against her still-flat stomach. “At the store...there was stuff in the tabloids. About this.”

“But I...how would anyone know?”

“It said ‘a source from the set of Arendelle’s new movie’.”

“Fuck. I knew people were going to start being suspicious of me being sick all the time. Well, they were going to find out soon enough anyway, weren’t they?” she said, hoping she sounded reassuring despite the pit that had just opened up in her chest.

“It said the baby is Hans’s,” he said bleakly, and a little gasp slipped out from her before she could hold it back.

For a moment they just held each other, letting the news sink in. Anna ran a hand up and down Kristoff’s back, and he sighed, still keeping his forehead pressed against hers. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Kris,” she said quietly.

“I know with...with you being famous and stuff, you’re always going to kind of belong to other people. But the baby...she’s just ours. And I guess it was stupid of me, but I was kind of hoping it would always be like that. That the whole time people knew about her, they would know the truth.”

“About him,” Anna said, and he huffed out a laugh. “Sorry, too soon to be teasing you?”

“No. It helps. You’re definitely wrong, though. I’m certain of it.”

She laughed then, too, and kissed him. “The interview will be out soon. And then everyone will know it’s been you all along, and that it’s your son in there.”

“Daughter. And...okay. If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. I’m ready for this part to be over. I know it’s gonna be hard on you, and I’m sorry you’ll have to deal with the bullshit, but...damn, it’s been hard keeping you a secret. I just want to parade you around town and be like ‘hey guys, guess who got lucky and convinced the hottest guy in the world to marry her?’” “Now you’re just being corny to cheer me up. Literally last night you called me Grandpa again when I put my glasses on.”

“Yeah, but you’re a sexy grandpa. Which is how we ended up in this mess in the first place.”

“Not a mess. Just an...unexpected journey.”

Anna grinned and kissed the tip of his nose. “Is that your way of asking me if we can have a Lord of the Rings marathon tonight to cheer you up?”

“You know me too well. And yes.”

“Did you get popcorn?”

“Mhmm. Think you can keep it down?”

“Nope,” she said cheerfully. “Good thing I have a fiance to hold my hair back, eh?”

---

“Wait!” 

Everyone turned and looked at Anna as she dug through her purse. “I want to take a picture of this,” she explained. “So I can remember the face he makes.”

Kristoff raised an eyebrow, one hand still in the gift bag. “Should I be nervous?”

“No, just--” She grinned and held up her phone. “You’ll see.”

“Can I open it now?”

She nodded, bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement. “Happy birthday, Kris.”

He reached into the bag and pulled out a square of fabric; he let it fall open and, after reading what was on the front of the t-shirt, looked at Anna with a mixture of shock and amusement.

Ellie squinted at it from the far end of the table. “Best dad ever? Why does it say that? I don’t get it.”

And then she did get it all at once, her eyes going wide as she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh!”

Kristoff’s mother was already weeping and throwing her arms over his shoulders, and his brothers looked awkward but pleased all the same as they clapped him on the back, and Ellie was already squealing and tugging on her sister’s hand and spouting off something about names, and beside Anna Kristoff’s father smiled and set a hand on her shoulder.

“Congratulations,” he said, his eyes kind and full of warmth, and suddenly she was wishing her own father was here, wondering what he would have said, how broadly he would have smiled.

“Thank you, Mr. Bjorgman,” she said, and when he saw her lip start to wobble he pulled her into a tight hug.

“You can call me Cliff, you know,” he said softly. “Or whatever else you’d like. Shoot, might as well go ahead and help me get some practice in, start calling me Grandpa if you want.”

She laughed at that. “Cliff for now, I think.”

“Fine with me,” he said, gently patting her back. “I hope you know we’re here to help both of you with whatever you need. And that you’re welcome up here anytime, with or without him. Don’t even have to call ahead, just come right in the back door and tell me you want pickles or something, whatever it is. Don’t have much experience in this department of parenting, but I’ll try my best.”

“Thank you,” she said, holding on tighter for just a moment before pulling away to face the rest of them. 

---

june

look it’s official

lena had a copy mailed to the house

He squinted at the photo she had texted him, scrolling through the full-page article dedicated to Anna’s rapid rise to fame. He couldn’t help but grin at the mentions of her tampon commercial and unexpected viral fame; she had to have been irritated at that being brought up again. There were photos of her in that blue gown, too, the one she’d worn for the Netflix movie and been so excited to show him. And then there, at the end, was the all-important “what are you doing now” section, the one she had rehearsed with him over and over the night before the interview.

“What’s next for you, Anna?” I ask, and she gives me a bright smile as she sets down her cup of (herbal) tea.

“Well, I’m going to wrap up filming for the sequel, of course, but then I’m going to take a step back from the spotlight for a little bit to focus on my family.”

“Your sister?” 

“My fiance Kristoff, actually, and our first baby. We’re really excited,” she adds with her trademark bright smile, and I can’t help but smile back at her.

He grinned and closed the picture so he could type back a response, but before he’d even started a phone call came through. He frowned; it was just a number, no name, but it looked familiar somehow. “Hello?” he asked, expecting it to be a telemarketer.

“Kristoff? It’s Sam.”

“What’s up?”

“I, uh, I don’t know if you saw yet, but just...don’t panic.”

[sarah1281-takethree]

Velma just up and takes a spatula land just...peels all the paint away. Everyone’s like “what the hell Velma” and she’s just like “Whoops, guess I got carried away, no fucks given.” Like seriously rude. And expensive. If they weren’t evil was anyone going to reimburse that? 

Fred thinks a lot of holographic technology in 1998. A lot more than he should. 

Daphne doesn’t realize her show about exposing fake hauntings is going to be a mega-hit. 

It’s so weird to see Scooby hate cats. Is that a thing? 

He’s not talking about it but I can just FEEL how hard Fred is thinking about traps right now. 

And I love how secure Fred and Daphne are in their love for each other that Fred feels free to point out when another woman is attractive and Daphne’s just like “that has nothing to do with our ghost.” 

Also maybe Lena should have asked them if they had a dog or anything. Mentioned the cats, it would have been pretty natural. 

Southern Mark Hamill just attacked Scooby and Shaggy with a giant pig. Cool stuff. 

Every single Scooby Movie has real life supernatural stuff. I love it. 

I think the gardener wasn’t just undercover but legit hates all these people. He was grumbling “gardener” was Lena said he was the gardener so could do it. Someone tell him that’s not some kind of slur, it was literally his job. Ethically what does he do with the pay? 

Why don’t the ghosts and zombies be more specific about warning people? I mean, they outright wrote “get out beware”? Preferably when the cat people aren’t around. 

“Are you sure it was a zombie?” Fred asks. Like forget “I know a zombie when I see one” because at this point there’s probably been plenty of zombies in movies that don’t quite fit into canon. But like. What else wasit supposed to have been? Hallucinations or zombies or people pretending to be zombies. No, Fred, hologram technology isn’t there yet! 

Velma suspicious that the gardener was outside. 

Shaggy attempting to trim his beard hair but he took a pair of safety scissors and opened and shut them real fast a few times without actually touching the hair part. 

Now there’s the ghost again all “Get away! Get away!” Not to judge but say something like “They’re going to kill you.” And how exactly are they supposed to go with no ferry? And also how are there not stories about how people keep coming there and no one ever comes back? Or maybe there are but the gang didn’t hear about it before they went. I mean, there’s certainly lots of bodies around suggesting murder no one ever dug up. 

Fred tried on then rejected his lucky ascot. Everything that happens from here on out is on him. 

Having a visceral negative reaction to Velma’s glasses getting dirty and her not having anything to clean them with so Scooby breathes on them then wipes it off with his tail. I have tried to clean sunglasses. That would make it so much worse. She could at least try her shirt or sleeve like everyone else. 

Also I’m concerned Scooby does not know that he is a dog. And why would Simone want Scooby to go eat in the kitchen with the cats? 

I knew it. Gardener straight-up pretended to be a zombie because he’s a dick and hates them. 

God, Velma’s voice in particular is SO OFF. 

Lena: Fred, do be careful. Everyone else can choke for all she cares. 

Fred, upon spotting the gardener just out walking with a lantern much like they are doing: You must be the bad guy! 

Okay, sure, not being around when ghosts and zombies appear might be suspicious if they hadn’t only seen him like three minutes total and also not believing in the supernatural you’re pretending to be and trying to convince people of isn’t very good. 

I hate to say it but I think Velma is villain-profiling again and this time she’s dragging Fred down with her. 

Gardener: Why do you keep treating me like a suspect?  Velma: Well there’s literally only four other people we’ve ever seen on the island and we haven’t seen Jacques since we were dropped off so there’s a good chance he’s dead already. Also stop whining we think you’re suspicious when you won’t stop being a dick.  Gardener: *feels villain profiled* Then heaves giant rock over his head just to fuck with Velma before unnecessary using it to demonstrate quicksand he knew was there. Like, what, she won’t believe him and will walk into it? 

Daphne single-handedly captured a zombie. Then Shaggy. Could have captured Scooby, too, if he hadn’t wandered in all on his own. Daphne, please wash your hands very thoroughly after pulling all over that corpse face and getting your hands in its mouth. 

“You’re not a skeptic, Fred, you’re in denial!” Very nice, Daphne, now go tell that to Velma instead. 

Wow this chase music is just so painfully 1998 lol

Velma, really not happy Daphne told you everything that happened but you needed Fred to say it did before you believed it. Believe women!  “Jinkies, sorry!” Velma says after she took the opportunity to just punch the gardener because Fred and Daphne were being voodooed into hitting things. 

“You say the zombies DRAGGED Simone away?” Velma asked, physically pained they’re not even trying as she pokes the perfectly calm and very obvious footsteps heading away from them. 

Fred awkwardly had his hand on Lena’s shoulder when Velma started accusing her and it very quickly found its way off of it lol

Not for nothing but I can’t believe they didn’t bother making voodoo dolls of Scooby. The dog. With all the cats. And all the trouble he’s caused. And also that Scooby and Shaggy didn’t take the dolls with them when they found them!

You know, when I first watched this years ago I just assumed like the pirate guy was super evil (but not SO super evil to commit an acts other than murder) but now I just bet that the reason that pirate guy killed everyone was because it was the late 1700s and they were worshipping cat gods. Religious tolerance whom? 

And if Lena and Simone were equals how come Simone gets to be the fancy mistress and Lena has to be the maid/servant/cook/whatever? 

You know, if Lena and Simone didn’t suck then they would have just accepted death after getting revenge and not gone out luring people in. Like, fine, if invaders come and try and attack you you get a pass but those were the most touristy of tourists in Hawaiian fucking shirts. How do they not see their the bad guys here now?

So do zombies like regularly dog-pile the cat creatures in order to try and save this year’s victims or is that a new thing they’re trying this year? 

And sure, Simone, insult Daphne for being a television reporter like you really understand what that even is. 

Not for nothing but if their faces were melting because the wax was melting how does their face, like, unmelt if the wax is moved from the fire? 

There was too much fear and too little “EW DEAD BODIES” when the zombies were around. 

Also how long has Jacques been in this? Decades? A few years? 

Why do they still worship the cat god who they view as having cursed them? Why don’t the creepy cats disappear too? They are clearly possessed at the end. 

Poor Mark Hamill. Just showed up long enough to be a dick. 

Honestly, I think Beau is a suspect to Velma until he pulls out his badge and doesn’t turn into a cat monster lol Speaking of, did he carry that with him everywhere while undercover? Seems pretty risky. And he’s going to ruin his reputation talking about cat monsters on Daphne’s show. 

Now it looks like Velma has a crush on him which is ridiculous because I’m pretty sure she’s 15. And I kind of ship her with Shaggy in some circumstances but other than that I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian. 

Velma, stop fawning over the cop. It’s embarrassing. 

[anotherimaginescollection]

Could you do something where baby danvers is supposed to get takeout and hang with her sisters and Lena but reader gets hurt falling down some stairs stumbling into Kara’s apartment trying to hide the injuries during dinner. But they all find out (bc alex & lena are super observant and Kara will catch on eventually) and freak out thinking she was doing something dangerous but realize she's jus a clutz and take care of reader?

Takeout nights wereone of your favourites. It was a nice way of calming everything down, if evenonly a little. And now, with the introduction of Lena into the whole thing,there was someone to get to know in them, someone to bring that extra thing tothem that you didn’t realise had been missing.

It was on one suchnight that you had agreed to grab the food. You’d suggested picking it up onthe way home from work. But, two meetings overrunning, a massive queue in thetakeout place, and then the elevators being out in Kara’s apartment block meantthat you were running late. You’d texted ahead to warn the others, but you’dhurried as much as you could.

Not a great idea.

You were a floorbelow where you needed to be when your foot slipped; when you thought that thestep was somewhere else. You stumbled, falling a couple of stairs and feeling thebruising already flaring up as you tried to keep the food from gettingsquished.

With a groan youstood up from where you’d fallen, assessing the damage to the food.Miraculously, you’d saved it. But the aches of your muscles and the throbbingin your shin assured you that you weren’t so unscathed from the fall.Tentatively you pushed at a bit of leg that you thought had taken some of thebrunt. You hissed with the pain before looking back to the stairs. There was noway you were letting your own clumsiness stop you from getting to takeoutnight.

Getting to Kara’sdoor had taken longer than it should have done, but when you were finally thereyou knocked, trying not to wince too much at the movement.

‘Food!’ Karagreeted, pulling you in for a hug.

The pain throbbedwith the contact but you chuckled, hugging her back as Alex took the food fromyou.

‘Good to see you,(Y/n),’ said Lena from the table, waving with a wine glass.

‘You too,’ youreplied, carefully peeling yourself away from your sister. Every movement feltpainful, and you were pretty sure that you were stumbling slightly as you movedinto the apartment. ‘Way to break a person, Kara,’ you joked, trying to make upfor the stumble, trying not to let them see that you were injured. You didn’twant them worrying about you, least of all now.

Lena raised aneyebrow at you, but you eased yourself into a chair.

‘Is it busy outthere?’ asked Alex, glancing back at you as she sorted out the food. You couldsee that look of observation behind her eyes, the one that your mother had shother over breakfast countless times when Alex had been out drinking.

‘We like populartakeout, what can I say,’ you teased, trying not to grimace as you shiftedagain.

Kara all butbounced over to sit beside you. ‘You do find the best ones,’ she agreed as Alexput the plates on the table.

‘Well of course,’you assured her, taking some food. But you could have sworn that a look passedbetween Alex and Lena that you couldn’t quite figure out.

‘So you weren’tanywhere near the attack?’ asked Alex mildly. Somehow it was worse. You knewthat inside she was panicking, that she was thinking about every bad thing thatmight have happened.

She’d seen thelimp. Or maybe a bruise was already forming on your arm.

‘Attack?’ askedKara, glancing around the table.

You hastilyfinished your mouthful of food. ‘No,’ you admitted, swallowing hard. ‘It wasnothing like that.’

‘You were being ahero elsewhere?’ asked Lena, her voice a little higher than you’d beenexpecting.

‘Nothing like that!’you told them quickly, seeing the concern behind their eyes. You sighed, lookeddown at your plate. This was what you’d wanted to avoid, a mild freak-out thatyou were doing something dangerous without telling them. ‘I just… I just felldown some stairs.’

Silence filled theroom for a moment, none of them sure what to say.

After a tensemoment Alex scoffed. You could see the apology behind her eyes though.

‘Are you all right?’asked Lena, brow furrowing with concern.

‘Bit bruised,’ youadmitted as Kara kissed you carefully on the temple.

‘You klutz,’ sheteased.

‘It wasn’t myfault!’ you complained, but you were unable to keep the smile off your face.

‘The stairs moved?’asked Alex.

You offered her littlemore than a shrug. ‘At least the food’s all right.’

Lena shook herhead, standing up and moving to the freezer. ‘The sooner that elevator’s fixedthe better.’

‘You’re telling me,’you grumbled, smiling around at them, glad that they were there to look afteryou, and that you didn’t think it was going to ruin takeout night as you’dworried that it might.

You just hoped thatyou were going to live this down eventually. The amusement behind Alex’s eyes,even as she moved to look at some of the injuries, made you certain that it wasgoing to take some time before she let this one go.

[solarbird]

"I don't get their whole dynamic," Sombra said, watching the site through one of the multiband cameras she'd left behind, hidden. "Not from what you've told me. She's apparently been trying to kill him since that old Overwatch HQ blew up, and now they're best buds again, all at once?"

Gabriel managed a tiny bit of a laugh, over comms. He worried that this was not enough distance - the fiction of separation became awfully small, this close to a shared target. But, well, here we are. "She's always been a bit ruthless."

"That's pretty damn ruthless, amigo. And that's coming from me. I have done some shit."

"She has!" Lena agreed.

Laticia sat, with Gabe, listening to the voices - disguised on her and Gabe's end, not maybe not enough. She... the way she talks... who did you used to be, chica?

"It's an asset," Reyes said, "in the military. At least, to a point. You do what has to be done to accomplish the mission."

"I guess I'm not very military, then," the hacker replied.

"You're right, though," Gabe continued. "She has to have some sort of plan here. Any guesses what it might be, team?"

"Maybe.. she's going to ground? And trying to talk Jack into going along?" Angela hoped, on the far side, as Widowmaker shook her head, dismissing the notion.

"No," Gabriel nodded his head, from his side of the canyon, unseen. "She's always had contingency plans." He snorted. "You should've seen her this one time in Italy - little part of Venice called Rialto. We were holed up in this restaurant, waiting for extraction, with damn near every omnic trooper in the world coming down on us us..."

Is that the same Rialto that Jesse's talked about? the hacker desperately wanted to know, but would not ask. "What'd she do?"

"Noticed the kitchen was propane and turned the entire building into a giant shaped charge, aimed right at the primary force. Saved us all."

He paused, letting the moment sit.

"She wasn't always like this. Neither of them were. It's been a while but... we were friends, once. Real friends."

"You're really hoping you can talk her down, aren't you?"

"Of course," he admitted. "If I can. Jack..."

"Nope," Venom said, flatly.

"I know that, Venom," Gabriel said. "I get it. As I said, Jack, by contrast, is a clear and present danger, and... we're going along with doing it your way. It's not my first time in the field."

"Y'know," the hacker said, "If we can't get her to cough up all the copies of the video..."

Attention in both vehicles turned to Sombra's voice. "Go on," Amélie urged.

"What if we just... hold her for a while. Get the best copy from her we can, and start dumping altered versions on conspiracy theory sites."

"You know some good ones?" Laticia asked, poking.

"I know all the good ones," Sombra shot back, and Laticia smiled, a suspicion supported.

Sombra hopped up, out of her seat in the back of the transport, and started pacing back and forth in the low-ceilinged space, thinking about the video, her footsteps audible on the link. "The videos, though, right? It's not that she has 'em, it's that they're real. So we make 'em fake. Bad. Like, really bad. And some of 'em good. Maybe the first one. Make one of 'em what actually happened, but with Tracer edited out first and then edited back in, with, maybe, slightly fucked up lighting, and some paste effects you don't notice until you get in close. Looks real, at first, but then doesn't, when checked. Underlay somebody else under Tracer, then put Tracer back on top, leaving a little fringe."

"Dirty the water," Gabe muttered, thinking.

"Yeah, amigo, exactly, right? No, better. Change the question. Get them going, 'this isn't really Tracer, so who is it really - and who's behind it?'"

"Oh," Gabe said, a smile in his voice. "I like that."

"Then maybe some meme versions, right? Making fun of the original. Have Tracer turn into an omnic, or into that gamer from Korea, or Bowser, or," she laughed, "or a chibi version of your friend, Winston. Something like that."

Lena laughed and laughed and laughed. "Seriously?"

"Absolutely!" Sombra said, getting excited by her own idea. "By the time the real one comes out - if it ever does - our fake version of the real one will have been out so long that nobody will give it a second glance! It's just another refinement, you know?"

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," the Widowmaker said, a small grin across her face.

"Old-style psyop, straight up. Active measures, they used to call it, back before the Omnic Crisis," Gabriel mused, calculating, trying to weigh against his own confirmation bias, wanting so much for it to be enough. "...it could work."

"We should check in with, uh," Venom said, not finishing the sentence. "You know. See what they think. Get their buy-off, 'cause we'd need them to, you know."

Amélie hummed her agreement. "I think I agree. Yes. Venom, that will be for you."

Lena groaned a little at the thought of having to call Overwatch, but couldn't deny her wife was correct. "Mind you," she said, carrying on, "we need t'get them apart before we can do anything." The younger assassin looked back to her drawings of the layout. "Got t'get an original of that video."

"Peel Ana off from Jack. Yeah." Gabriel acknowledged the point. "Tricky, though. If you wound him, and the doc's suppressor field isn't effective - no offense, Teufel -"

"None taken," the Swiss German said, waving off his worry of insult. "It is still highly experimental work."

"...he might... absorb her."

"Or, he may do something more conventional, but still particularly rash," Widowmaker added. "Or she might. It is difficult to tell."

"Gabe and I found a bunch of proximity alarms," Delgado reminded the teams. "Most of 'em were dead, like the ones you found. Maybe we trip one, maybe he comes out by himself, or she does, to check it."

"And either way, then we grab 'er, that what you're saying?" Venom asked. "And the other party goes after whoever doesn't come out."

"Seemed like worth a try," Laticia said, a little defensively. "I mean, she's a sniper..."

"It's not a bad thought, luv. I like it." She grinned to herself. "And, depending on how th' dice roll, we might both get a shot."

-----

"I heard it," Jack grumbled from the couch, resting after working out. He really needed to get to those outer alarms. He knew local wildlife had tripped half of them - that every alert had just been one more false positive - but the situation had become more serious, now. "Probably another chupacabra. Every time one of those alarms gets triggered it's some damn animal or another."

"Perhaps," Ana said, frowning, dismayed a little at his casualness. "But I will check."

"No," the soldier said, rousing himself out of his torpor, feeling more out of joint than ever. Usually, workouts helped, but not as much today. "No. You cover me, while I go out." He shook himself out, trying to rally himself, physically. It worked, to a degree. "And... when I ghost... don't freak."

That much, at least, is wise, she thought, as she picked up her rifle, got into position, and nodded.

In the trees surrounding the small cabin, Venom sat, watching. "He's comin' out," she said, with a predatory grin, "and he's alone. Checking the door..."

"They are rightly suspicious," Widowmaker added. "Ana is..." She activated her helmet. "She is covering him, from inside. Do not underestimate her, even now."

"I've seen her shoot," Laticia chimed in. "I won't."

"Shit," Gabe said, "he's ghosted." They'd let the field generator untriggered, not wanting to tip Jack off, Angela and Venom both suspecting he could feel its effects. "Teufel, hit the trap!"

"Activated," Angela replied. "Is he..."

"Fuck!" Lacitica said. "Where'd he go? I saw him, I saw his cloud, then.... where the hell did he..."

"I do not have him in my sights," Widowmaker growled, frustrated. "How? How could he...?"

"I'm goin' in," Venom spat, through clenched teeth. "He's somewhere, but he's not here. We get Ana, maybe he comes back for her."

"Go. I have her in my sights - let us make sure she knows."

The single shot smashed the window, the bullet deflected as she'd anticipated, missing the Egyptian sniper. As the older woman spun to track back the shot and respond with one of her own, Venom teleported behind her, and with one blow, knocked her to the ground, dazed but not out. Ana's hand dove into her cloak for her knockout pistol, and the Talon assassin grabbed it as she did, the two wrestling, briefly, before the gun fired, once, into the wall, and a second time, into the Egyptian woman's shoulder.

"Sorry, mum," Lena said smirking, as the older woman's consciousness faded. "Not this time."

-----

Jack Morrison floated, sightless, enraged, a diffuse mass, spreading, uncontrolled.

He'd felt himself scatter, when the trap triggered. He'd felt himself fly apart, the thinnest mist, held together for now, barely, buffeted by the breeze - how, he didn't know.

But he could hear. Vibrations in the air also vibrated what was left of him, and somehow, whatever network held him together, that still - barely - let him still think, also let him understand sound. He heard the Widowmaker's shot; he heard the glass shatter; he heard the sound of Venom teleporting, he heard a scuffle, he heard two shots, and he heard Ana fall, unknowing what it all meant.

And then, as he drifted away, he heard Venom's shout.

"Y'STILL OUT THERE, Y'MONSTROUS FUCK? WE'VE GOT 'ER, NOW."

"YOU WANT 'ER BACK?"

"COME GET HER!"

[gildedink]

Memoirs of a Goddess: Birth by Blood, Opening Scene {Alpha? Beta? Damn if I know}

(this my.... 7th? 8th? 10? time trying to write the opening scene. But this time I didn'tstart crying while writing so. Big improvements already. The scene is under the cut.

With my gym clothes in hand, I closed the small, square, grey metal door. Girls around me were casually peeling off their shirt, hoodies, blouses, shucking off skirts, dresses and jeans. I kept my eyes on the semi-stained floor tiles. I could never change in front of others. The idea left a disgusting feeling on my skin, unclean at exposing myself. I couldn’t get to the toilet stalls fast enough. Luckily one was unoccupied as I heard another girl, as shy as myself, changing. I changed, pulling the thick, reversible red-and-white t-shirt. It was a bit oversized as I’d hoped. The black shorts, in comparison, were thin and flimsy-feeling with their slippery fabric. “Elena, you in there?”

I looked up, almost pitching forward into the ugly green-painted stall door. “Yeah. Putting on my shoes.”

“Come on. We’re gonna be last again.”

“You can go ahead.”

“It’s fine.” My friend, Tiera, insisted. I balanced on my right foot again and tied the shoelaces of my left sneaker before finally getting out. There were a few stragglers, waiting for slower friends or checking their high ponytail in the long, worn mirror on the hall wall leading up to the locker room door. Tiera adjusted her twin buns in the mirror above the sink, the red and white hair elastics straining with the thickness of her black hair. She turned. “Ready? Need an elastic?”

“You know I can’t.”

“Of course you can, Lena-chan.” She insisted. “It would be a cute little tail! You always complain about your hair in your face when we run.”

I couldn’t help but feel a bit happier at the sound of her nickname for me. “I’ll deal with it.”

She shrugged. I went to my locker and out away my clothes before snapping the electric blue lock closed. “Why won’t your mom let you grow it again?”

“Says I won’t style it and she doesn’t know what to do with long hair.” We began to walk to the locker room door. “So this is as long as she’ll let me.”

“It’s such an awkward length.” Tiera said as she pushed the door open. “Maybe you could cut it shorter? Short hair’s ge-.”

“No.” I cut off. “Never again. I looked like a boy!”

“I’m sure you were a very cute boy.” Her tone was teasing, dark eyes full of mischief.

I shook my head vigorously. “Never. Ever. Again. Short hair is evil. Evil I tell you.”

“Okay, okay!” she said. “Stubborn…” We filed into the large, cold school gym with the rest of the stragglers. Boys and girls sat on the floor, mixed. Clusters of friends talking, some solo girls and boys staring at the wall and waiting. A couple of the athletic students were helping one another stretch. The two of us beelined towards a trio of girls. One of them, a slightly small and thin girl with mousy brown hair haphazardly pulled up into a ponytail, waved.

As we sat down, the girl pulled out the hair elastic and tried again to put up her hair as required. “Morning Diana.”

“Morning.” She sighed. Her wire-rimmed glasses slid down her freckled nose a little. “Growing hair out is so hard.”

“It will get better.” The blond of the group, Sarah, assured. “Growing pains.” She looked to me. “Mr. White is gonna yell at you again.”

I crossed my legs, rubbing my arms. “Don’t care.”

“I did offer her an elastic.” Tiera commented. “Lena-chan’s a rebel.” Sarah frowned.

“Yes. I’m such a rebel I shove my face in books all the time and obey the teachers.” I replied dryly. Diana and Tyler-Ann, who had been silent, snorted in laughter. I turned to the last of the group. “Morning.” Her eyes were grey today. It wasn’t possible, but every time I saw Tyler-Ann her eyes were a different color. When I’d brought it up, she’d staunchly denied it. Since then I’d seen them be green, blue, hazel, a deep brown. But grey was the color that most occurred. If it wasn’t for the fact that she wore glasses, I would have chalked it up to colored contacts a long time ago.

“Good morning.”

“We’re awake before the sun; it’s terrible.” Tyler-Ann simply shrugged.

Diana leaned in a little. “Did you hear about Brandon? Got caught dealing.”

“Isn’t that the third person this month?” Tiera asked, scrunching up her soft nose. Diana nodded. “My mom’s gonna throw a fit again.”

“Oh, everyone’s will.” Sarah said. “No one wants their kids in a bad school. Too bad school districts are random.”

Tiera looked to the four of us in worry. “At least they’ll leave me alone. Cause… you know. I’m black. Y’all are white.”

“My parents were surprised that most kids were black or Spanish here.” Diana said. “The areas in the district are a mix so you’d think it would be more mixed.”

“Jackson Middle School was historically an all-black middle school before integration.” I said. The others turned to me. “What?”

“How do you know that?”

“Uh… the entrance display. It says it right there. You never noticed?”

“You did?”

“During basketball camp over the summer.”

“I thought you hate sports.” Sarah said.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my cheek on my knees. “My mom signed me up. Thought it would be a good way to make friends before school.”

“Oh, right. That’s where you and David met!” Diana said. I nodded.

There was loud clapping that suddenly echoed in the gym. Conversations quieted down as everyone looked to the teacher, Mr. White. “Go to your assigned teachers please. Come on, you know the drill.” The five of us separated, Diana and I going to where Mr. White’s students were clustering. Tyler-Ann and Sarah went to Ms. Fern and Tiera walked over to Mr. Miller. He began to take roll, calling out names. In reply the student raised his or her hand, stating they were here out loud.  It took a while but finally, my name was called. “Zlatariva?” The last one, as always. Once again he’d butchered my name.

“Here!” I called, raising my hand.

He frowned. “You’re hair’s not up.”

“It’s at shoulder-length sir.”

Since it was still considered “short” by school rules I could skate by. He huffed but let it go. His attention went to one of the boys. “Alverez! Your hair needs to be up.”

“Ponytails are for girls!” he argued.

“Rules are rules.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an elastic. He threw it to the boy. “Hair up or cut it.” Grumbling, the boy put his hair up. “Right. Today we’ll be practicing baskets. There’s two more weeks left for the basketball unit. As a warning to those who still have not passed the shooting test, your grade will go down should you fail to complete it in time. But before then, warm ups. Stand up.” We all did as told, the students of all the other teachers also standing. Everyone followed along with the teachers as they led us through warm ups. All I could think about was my latest book that sat in the small metal cube, crying out to be read.

[fernwehbookworm]

Knight of Kandor- Chapter 19

I don't think I have ever been happier. I spent almost every moment with Lena. Still, every moment was tainted with worry and despair for Jessica and for the impending courtship. I saw it seep into the edges of Lena's smile. It hunched her normally proud posture just slightly when she sat reading in the window. Alex always found a way to leave us as much as possible. I was so thankful for that, although I am pretty sure she used any excuse to go into the city to meet with Maggie. Lena and I took full advantage of the times that Alex disappeared. Tonight was the first night of the festival with a lavish party being thrown in the castle for most of the upper class. Lena was going to be seated among the nobles on the floor but we knew the prince would seek her out, following his mother's instructions. We had managed to avoid him for the past couple of days since the meeting in the garden.

The DEO was getting closer and closer to finding a way out for lady Jessica. We knew also that as soon as we did we would have to move fast. Who knew what Queen Rhea would do when she no longer had a way to control Lena. The apprehension was starting to wear on me as I thought of everything that could go wrong. Alex was finishing tying up Lena's hair while I slipped shoes on to her feet. I look up at Lena and she meets my eyes.

"Beautiful," I say with a smile and she smiles back.

"Alex does all the hard work," she responds.

"Trust me, it isn't hard work with you." Alex squeezes Lena's shoulder before moving to tidy up the mess of hair and makeup products on the vanity. I offer Lena a hand to help her stand.

"Don't worry. It is very usual to keep personal servants close at hand here. The nobles don't like to share or wait for help. Alex and I will never leave your side. Alex is very good with names thanks to her time serving Lady Lucy so she can help you with that." Lena nods and smooths her skirt down nervously.

Rumors had begun to circulate through the kitchen staff and soldiers to the rest of the castle about the mysterious noblewomen in the high tower. People speculated who she was, what she was doing here, and where she had come from. Soon enough outlandish tales began to spread. People claiming the woman was hideous or was too beautiful to be looked at directly. Some claimed she was a bastard daughter while others said she was brought to marry the prince. Those were the only people even remotely close to the truth.

The night was loud. Music poured out of every doorway, accompanied by laughter and shouting. Food filled every surface and its smell permeated the air. Beer and wine flowed freely from casks and pitchers as castle servants were constantly moving through the crowd to refill glasses. The people of Daxam really knew how to throw a party. I watched carefully from a distance as the prince took Lena for a third dance this evening. Lena was stiff and keeping her space while still remaining elegant. When the song ended she extracted herself from the prince and dodged a half-dozen other suitors to return to the table. Lena picks up two bottles of wine and hands them to me before grabbing a couple oranges. Without a word we begin to make our way back to her room, clearly, Lena was done with this celebration. Alex manages to disappear before we reach the tower and the guards let us up without a glance.

Once inside I set down the bottles and begin to help Lena rid herself of the heavy dress so she is just standing in a shirt. She let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Ugh, finally. This is as bad as torture. I think I would rather be in the dungeons then pretending to like these people. They are horrible. They act like anyone without titles aren't even people. I mean, did you see that man kick the poor serving girl just for not refilling his glass before it was empty."

"I know, love. That is what Alex and I and the rest of our family are trying to change." A weird look passes over Lenas features.

"What was that look for?" I ask her as she pours two glasses of wine for us.

"It's nothing." But Lena doesn't look at me.

"Lee, what is it? I mean I know what we do isn't very tasteful but I think it's necessary. You said it yourself, they treat everyone horribly and,"

"No, Kara it's not that."

"Then what is it?" I accept the wine she holds out for me. Lena bites her lip which even though she looks nervous it was extremely attractive.

"You said... you called them family. And after all of this, if we make it out alive, if you came back with me I would be taking you away from your family." Lena looks at me with watery eyes. I reach up and cup her cheek with my hand.

"You are my family. Winn and John and James are my family. I would follow you anywhere Lena. And who knows, the DEO may just come with us because it will be very dangerous for them to stay. Distance doesn't mean they won't be my family. I chose them and they chose me. Leaving here won't be a goodbye, okay?" Lena nods and I place a light kiss on her lips before helping her sit.

(Smut Warning, Look for Page Break)

After a few silent minutes of sipping on wine, Lena picks up one of the oranges and methodically begins to peel it. I watch as she begins to pull apart the segments and lay them on the table. Suddenly she stands and moves in front of me. She takes the glass from my hand and sets it on the table before straddling my lap. She offers me an orange slice only allowing me to bite into half of it as she holds it up to my mouth. I watch her, unsure of what we are doing. As I bite into the sweet orange, I feel some of the juice squirt out and splash on her hand. Lena sticks the other half in her own mouth before repeating the process. On the third slice, Lena gently pushes the whole piece into my mouth, her finger follows and I taste the sweetness that lingers on it. She moans softly as my tongue swirls around it. She bites her lip and it is so much more attractive than earlier.

The next slice Lena places in her own mouth but she gently grips half of it between her teeth. She ducks her head to brush the slice against my own lips and I understand what she wants. Slowly I bite down on my half and my lips brush hers. Rao, I love oranges, I think. The second time Lena does it I have enough of her teasing. This time when I bite down my half I surge forward and complete the kiss. Then I grip Lena's thighs and stand. She lets out a squeal of surprise but wraps her legs around me easily.

"Rao, I love oranges." She says. I laugh.

"That's what I was thinking. But there is something else I think I'd like to eat tonight." Even in the moonlight, I see Lena blush.

"Are you sure?"

"Completely." I gently drop Lena on the bed to remove my dress and then help her pull her shirt over her head.

I immediately go to her ear. Nibbling on it always gets Lena really worked up. We slowly shift to the middle of the bed and Lena nestles into the pillows, soft moans escaping her lips as I switch ears. Nails run gently up and down my back as I settle between her legs. I move down Lena's neck, kissing and grazing my teeth against her skin. I knew I couldn't leave a mark there but it was so tempting. I move lower, down her chest and to one breast. I hadn't had much to drink tonight but I could feel Lena's presence intoxicating me.

"I could do this forever," I mumble into her breast before licking a nipple, Lena arches into me slightly.

"As much as I appreciate foreplay, please don't." I laugh and the vibrations cause her to moan.

"I mean, be here, in bed, with you," I say while switching to the other side.

"Hmm, me too. Oh Rao, do that again." I softly bite down on the nipple again as instructed. Then I move to the soft underside and suck hard, determined to mark her somewhere, even if no one else would see it.

"Fuck Kara." Lena's hands grip my head and keep me close. I smirk into her skin. Lena's hips have been slowly rocking into mine, she was getting impatient. I place wet kisses down her stomach, making my way slowly to the heat I could already feel between her legs. Lena had taught me a lot over the past couple of days but I hadn't done this yet. I hadn't tasted her yet. Goosebumps raise on my skin at the thought as pleasure courses through my own body. Small butterflies make themselves known in my stomach at the new experience.

"Tell me what you need. Guide me."

"Always." Lena's breath hitches as I place a kiss just on her outer lips.

"Slowly dip your tongue in, start near the bottom then go up. You'll know when you reach my clit."

I do as instructed. And Rao I love how she tastes. I've never tasted anything like it and it is so distinctly Lena. Salty with a hint of sweet. When I find her already enlarged clit her back arches off the bed.

"Not so direct. Circle it. A little less pressure. Yes, mmmm, that's it." Lena relaxes into the bed. I glance up and am awed by the relaxed features of her face as she closes her eyes and loses herself in the pleasure. I feel her fingers in my hair after I close my own eyes to focus on the task at hand and Lena continues to emit soft sounds of pleasure.

"Okay, now just slide your tongue down to my entrance or just use your finger." I decide to try my tongue first. The slickness of Lena fills my senses. My tongue dips into her and she moans and her fingers tighten in my hair.

"Same as you would with a finger, in and out." Lena is no longer as relaxed as she was before. I can feel her tensing beneath me as her breath quickens.

I begin to get much more comfortable with it. Pushing my tongue in and out but I feel Lena needing more as her hips begin to move slightly. I move back up to my original position and Lena starts to protest until my finger slides in. Her hips rock against my hand as she moans her appreciation. My finger works much better than my tongue at extracting noise from the beautiful woman under me. Continuing to follow my instincts, instead of just circling the swollen clit, I pull it softly into my mouth, sucking then soothing it with the flat of my tongue.

"Fuck Kara, do that again. Add another finger. Stop smiling down there." I suppress a laugh and wipe the smirk off my face as I do as I am told. My free hand reaches up to knead a breast and I see Lena use one of her hands to do the same to the other, rolling the hard nipple between fingers.

Lena's cries grow with each passing minute. I can feel the slickness between my own legs building with my own arousal. Lena's nails scrape against my scalp as she tenses and calls my name. I feel her walls contract and almost at the same time Lena cums on my face, and it drips down my chin and I do my best to lick up as much as possible, marveling at the taste of her.

"Oh, Rao Kara. I'm so sorry. You just had me so worked up. That's only the second time that's happened to me." I hum and crawl back up to her head.

"Don't apologize. I take it as a compliment." I lean down and kiss the beautiful woman, letting her taste herself still on my tongue. A hand creeps between my legs and I moan as fingers press against me.

"Rao Kara." I am already pressing against fingers that are not providing any relief.

"Fuck Lee."

It really doesn't take much for me to cum. Despite my brain being so focused on learning how to please Lena, my body was reacting to her. Once I stopped focusing, all that arousal crashed into me at once and Lena didn't make me wait for it. Kissing me deeply while fucking me with her fingers. Her thumb pressed lightly against my clit and moving with each thrust. It is quick and pleasure wracks my body as Lena helps me come down from the soaring high. Once I begin to relax back into her she untangles herself from me and I groan in protest.

"We have to change the bedding. I love that you made me cum so hard but, Kara dear, I am not sleeping on soaked sheets." I agree reluctantly with her.

I get up and get the extra bed sheets while she strips off the soiled. In a few short minutes we are both comfortably laying together, Lena's back flush with my front. Her head rests on the pillow my arm is tucked under and my other arm is wrapped protectively around her. Our legs tangle together as our eyes grow heavy and we fall into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning I gather up all the laundry I can mix in with the sheets, planning on doing that for most of the day. Lena sits in bed reading, avoiding all contact she can with people in the castle. She was able to get the Master Bookkeeper to let her borrow books from the libraries so she had a nice little stack next to the bed. A sharp cry startles both of us, me out of my staring, and Lena out of her book. Killer is perched on the window sill, one claw grasping a roll of parchment. When I take it from her she flies off immediately to return to her perch. I break the seal that has the DEO symbol pressed into the cooled wax.

We might have a way. Come home.

Maggie's handwriting for sure. I turn to Lena who is already right behind me, reading over my shoulder. I swallow, realizing she is still naked and so close. Not the time, I think. I open my mouth but she beats me to it.

"Go. Start the laundry but have someone else finish because Lady Elena would like a new dress to watch the prince in the final jousting tournament. It will be a rush order since it is only two days notice but I have the gold to pay." She moves away from me to the writing desk to pick up a small pouch of coins. I swear she purposefully sways her hips just a little more, knowing I am for sure watching.

"I'm thinking red to stand out. In whatever the latest Daximite style." I nod and kiss her.

"We will save her. And I will take you home. On my life."

"Just save her. I don't want my throne if it means your life." I kiss her hard again before picking up the basket of dirty clothes and sheets, leaving Lena alone with her books.

We wait two days. Everyone who's anyone will be at the jousting tournament. Guards in the castle will be bare minimum to have the most force in the actual tournament. It was taking place in the secured stadium fields about half a mile from the castle itself. The stadium was huge. Seating thousands of people, the richest near the floor while the poorest were near the sky. At the end of the tournament, there would be a feast right here in the stadium. Classes would mix, drink would flow, and dancing would last until the sun was in the sky again. That is when we would move.

Lena was so gorgeous I swear my heart stopped for a second. The dress was a bright web with a stiff netting the same color wrapping her torso. It fit her form perfectly. The top dipped low in the front but created an almost short cape in the back. On her arms were slipped two red sleeves that were almost like gloves. I smile to myself at her first reaction putting on the dress. 'Rao, is this really what they wear? I feel like my boobs are trapped in a cage.'

Alex and I stood behind Lena and the table she shared with several other women vying for the prince's favor. Lena ignored the squabbling in favor of her wine glass and the cheese and hard meats on the table in front of them. When the prince emerged for his first joust, the other women jumped to their feet and began waving favors for the prince to take. Lena stayed seated until a harsh look from Queen Rhea caught her eye. Reluctantly, Lena joined the others, waving a red handkerchief that matched her dress, standing out from the soft whites, pinks, and blues already being waved. After much showing off and theater like indecision, Prince Michael selected Lena's and tucked it into his breastplate. I don't know how much he knew about his mother's plan but for the most part, he seemed to truly believe Lena was Lady Elena Colby.

The tournament was long. Lasting through lunch and well into dusk. Torches were lit for the finals. The Prince against one of his own men. I never learned the sport but I am pretty sure the challenger through the tournament for his future king. Lena was only needed for a first dance with the prince as his chosen favor. After two dances she extracted herself, avoiding a kiss to let it land on her cheek before escaping from the noise and oppressive crowd with Alex and me.

"Where are you going?" a cold, chilling voice follows us out of the stadium doors. Queen Rhea and her personal guards.

"Forgive me, my lady. I have had a terrible headache from the heat of the sun all day. I am afraid if I do not lie down I may just be ill." Lena recites the excuse we came up with earlier, bowing to the queen with her head while Alex and I curtsy deeply to the Queen dressed in deep blue. A high collar protrudes from behind her head like a cat raising its hackles. The queen looks unconvinced by Lena's words.

"Please, your majesty, it is not this hot where I am from. It turns my stomach in the worst way." Lena tries, the queen purses her lips.

"Well, we cannot have that. At least you were able to enjoy a dance with my son. I expect another one at tomorrow's feast."

"As you wish, my lady." Lena bows her head again and the queen turns back the way she came. A carriage waits to return us to the castle, A line of them waiting for partiers to finally try to stumble home. We ride silently, not daring to say anything with prying ears just outside the carriage.

The plan was simple. I had snuck my climbing ropes along with a harness that Caitlyn had designed in with Lena's laundry. They waited for me coiled under the bed. We would go upstairs as expected and Alex would leave us like usual. Alex would head back towards the celebration, using the excuse of being dismissed for the night if she was questioned leaving the palace again. Just before she reached it, however, she would slip into one of the underground tunnels the DEO had found as they had been mapping them out. Our field agents as we had begun to call them, would meet Alex with a change of clothes for her. Mine were already in Lena's room with the ropes. After frantic and long searches, we had found a tunnel leading to the dungeons. It was little more than a water runoff channel so it was cramped but it would serve its purpose.

Alex and her group would enter from below. The guards would have been slipped sleeping herbs during their dinner and wouldn't be replaced until near dawn. It should be easy for Alex to slip in, pick the lock, and escape with Lady Jessica. I would be escaping out the tower window like I had before with much different occupants staying there. Lena would be hooked to me by the harness, however, not like before. I would have to support her weight and my own on the descent. Luckily, the DEO's greatest minds had come up with an ingenious repelling system that should help.

Apprehension builds in my stomach and my fingers twitch in anticipation. We aren't stopped by anyone, in fact, we see almost no one on our return to the castle. The hallways are sparingly lit with torches. Outside the tower door, with guards as witnesses, Lena dismisses Alex for the night. Slowly we climb to the top. We had to wait, if we left too early and for some reason, the queen decided to check on Lena, then she would know something was wrong. Lena sits in front of a fire I built and I pace, counting off the minutes until it's time to dress. I put on my own clothes, breathing deeply at the relief of them against my skin. The mottled clothing ranging from almost black to moonlight gray feel as much as home as Lena does. She watches carefully as I begin sliding various daggers into my sleeves and boots and behind my back and a dozen other places.Then as I strap on the belt that holds my throwing knives, handles wrapped in soft black leather to prevent any sort of shine. I hand Lena her own set and she looks at me in confusion.

"These clothes are designed to break up the human form to the eye. It will help us blend. Also, do you really want to climb down this tower in a dress?" Lena takes the clothes from me as I help her undress and then redress in the foreign garments.

"They are so soft." She says, running a hand over the opposite sleeve.

"Comfort is necessary when hiding in the same place for hours at a time. Plus they are light and durable. Easy to repair also." I pull my hood up and then the face mask attached to the tunic. Slowly I do the same for Lena and she watches me. Without a word, I retrieve the ropes and begin securing them to the heavy oaken bed frame as an anchor.

"Do you trust me?" I ask when I am done.

"With my life." I exhale with relief and then begin to step into my harness before Helping Lena with her own.

"This will attach you to me. I will do all the work, just hold on to me and don't look down." Lena nods.

I lead her to the window and make her face me.

"Arms around my neck. Legs around my waist. The harness will support most of your weight." I instruct her. Trying to keep my voice as calm as possible as adrenaline begins to course through my veins.

Warning bells thunder through the castle. Loud and deep, shaking the walls. Panic rushes up my throat as I look towards the tower door.

"Shit, they must have found Alex." Lena makes to step away but I have already clipped her to my own support vest.

"Go help her."

"No, she isn't alone and this is the mission. She will find a way. My sister would never forgive me if I left you up here, I would never forgive me." I reach down and pull Lena's thighs up, forcing her to wrap them around me or let us both fall. Her arms tighten around my neck and her face burrows into my hair.

"Is this a bad time to mention that I hate heights?" she mumbles and I laugh.

"Sorry, it's the only way." I gather the rope running through the steel hooks in my harness and step up onto the ledge, my back to the sky.

Slowly, I lower myself over the edge, pulling the rope tight at the top, allowing a loose coil in my left hand while my right holds on tightly above me and the rest falls away out of sight into the darkness. I begin walking down the wall placing each foot with care on the familiar, uneven surface. I hear shouting in the distance and pick up my pace, almost hoping down the wall. Lena tenses with each moment of weightlessness but never looks out. My boots reach the grass with a soft thud and I have to urge Lena to let go. When she does I hold a finger to my lips to stop anything she might say. From one of my pockets, I pull a whistle. I silently blow in the short pattern. No sound comes out but a soft hiss of air but I know its worked when a cry pierces the night. Killer uses her razor-sharp beak to snip through the thick rope. It tumbles into my arms rather loudly for my opinion but It means I am able to hide it in the hedges. I grab Lena's hand and begin to lead us to the small drain that would take us to the tunnels. I couldn't escape over the wall like last time so we were using one of the tunnels we had found in search of the dungeon. It would be tight but it would work.

We are almost there when I hear angry voices and see torchlight. Someone shushes them and douses the flame. In a hurry, I usher Lena into the manicured foliage that lines the wall we were about to turn around. I hear the distinct sounds of metal on metal.

"Hey watch where you point that thing. You won't find them if I am dead." Alex. What is she doing? Would she really turn on me to save her own life? Dark figures round the corner we were headed towards. I recognize Alex's moonlit form surrounded by large men, one with a sword lowered at her back.

"No offense, but I don't trust you." Comes a gravelly response. My heart stops. I know that voice. That voice had followed me everywhere for years. I step out before Lena can protest, pulling down my hood and face mask.

"John..." I say softly. His head turns from Alex to me. I pull down my mask and step closer.

"Kal..." He says just as reverently. A big smile overtakes his face and one spreads on mine. I sun to him and he picks me up in a bear of a hug. He had grown and know stood nearly a foot taller with muscles to match. He sets me down. And looks behind me before dropping to a knee. The others do as well. The others. All of them were my men. The familiar faces now marred with hard lines from who knows what.

"Stand all of you, this is not the time." Queen Lena Luthor commands.

The men rush to their feet. And actually, move to surround us.

"What is going on?" I ask.

"Later sis. They cleared a path from the eastern gate and set a fire at the western one. We have to move now. Once we get in the city we can use one of our larger entrances for our new friend's sakes."

"Jess?" I ask knowing Lena need to hear too.

"Safe with the others and someone named Donovan."

We move as one then. I keep Lena in front of me and behind Alex as half walk half run to the east. The already thin guard was too busy with the fire to be found here. I had forgotten how loud plate mail could be, cringing at the movements of the men around me. Suddenly A figure appears above the gate we are headed towards. I see him peering at us through the dark, trying to determine whether or not to raise an alarm.

"Kara." Alex hisses.

"Too far. Twenty paces than a boost. John, move." He doesn't hesitate, easily following the command and stepping out of mine and Alex's path.

We sprint. On Alex's twentieth step she turns and braces, cupping her hands and bending her knees. I am just a few strides behind. Just like we had practiced I step into her hands and she launches me upwards, never slowing. As we had run, I slipped a dagger from my belt and at the top of my arch, I throw it. I see the man inhale to shout. The exhale never comes. The dagger stops it by sinking into the man's throat and he drops with a soft thud. I tuck and roll as the ground rushes to meet me and turn to see the group stopped several paces behind Alex.

"Come on." I gesture harshly for them to keep moving.

Alex takes the lead now while I fall in next to Lena, taking her hand. The streets are empty outside the castle. We rush through back alleys, twisting and turning. Some are so narrow we have to move in single file and some are wide enough for two carts. Eventually, we stop at the house of a supporter. One Alex and I used frequently to get home. A tunnel ran under her root cellar. Alex knocks and waits.

"There is a fire in my hearth." Comes the voice from the other side, just loud enough to be heard.

"We shall rise, burning and free." Is Alex's response. The woman opens the door to allow Alex in, Her eyes going wide at the men behind her.

"I can't explain now, We just need to get home. It's an emergency."

"I'll say, you can hear the bells from here."

"I know Izzy." With a nod, Izzy lets us in and we quickly use the secret hatch to the root cellar and then into the tunnels underneath.

The trip is long, dark and quiet. I have so many questions. For now, I settle for Lena's hand still firmly in mine and the knowledge that Jessica is safe. We end up at the ladder leading up through the cliff that houses our home. It's a long way up from where we are and Lena looks up the shaft with apprehension.

"I'll catch you if you fall," I say softly as Alex begins the assent.

Lena follows with me right behind and the men behind me. At the top, we follow Alex through our ever-expanding home. She calls for anyone present to go to the common room, what we had begun calling the room with all the pillows and books. Alex's voice echoes through the halls. I see the men behind me trying to take in the intricate maze of hallways. The base now housed forty women on a regular basis and near one hundred if we were all gathered in one place. We had to expand the kitchen and common room as well as adding on bedrooms, training rooms, and a healing room. We pass through the kitchen and into the common room. It is filled with women, including the team who brought Jessica back, who is leaning heavily on a man in steel, Donovan.

"Jess!" Lena calls. She pulls away from me and runs to her friend, pulling her into a tight hug.

"So Danvers. We send you for two women and you bring back nine men. The first men to ever be here I might add," Maggie leans against the wall next to us with her arms crossed.

"Well, it happens when they hold you at sword point and almost ruin a rescue operation."

"I think it's time for debriefing. Felicity, Sara, and Thea gather what food and wine you can and pass it around. The rest of us sit and listen." Maggie says with a hint of authority in her voice. Women grumble all around and soldiers sit with the clumsiness of armor restricting their movements.

I delivered into the short tale of Lena's and I's escape, ending with finding Alex. Food and drink are passed around the crowded room. Alex begins then with rescuing Jessica and being taken by John to lead them to me. Then every eye turns to my former squire and he realizes it's his turn to speak but I can see he is unsure where to start.

"We know up until when you were ambushed and Queen Lena was taken. Start with what happened after." I prompt.

"After the ambush. I woke to a near empty camp. The soldiers had returned to the castle, our guard being the only men who stayed and waited until I woke up almost two days later. We were planning on returning to the castle when riders from further south came galloping into our camp. The prince among them. He had received word on the attack already. We told him what had happened. He was angry. Righteously so. He planned on taking the whole army deep into Cadmium to follow his sister's captors. I stopped him. I pledged my life to protect the heart of the crown and that included him. After several days of arguing and meeting and strategizing, he allowed for my men and I to attempt a rescue. Some of the Queen's Guard heard the attackers saying that they were taking her to Daximite, to Queen Rhea. We spent most of the time simply avoiding every road we could, only venturing into populated areas for supplies and direction towards the capital. When we were finally able to sneak into the city, we learned all we could of the castle. We also found out about the tournament and knew that would be the night to try to rescue the queen. So we set the distraction, scaled the wall and found the dungeons, only to find the guards asleep. That's when we found Alex and now we are here."

"Lex was angry?" Lena's soft voice from next to Jessica.

"Yes, my queen. It took a lot for me to keep him from forcing the whole army south."

"Then he doesn't know. Lex wasn't apart of it." Lena says, almost to herself. John looks confused but I push past it.

"Where is Prince Alexander now?"

"Waiting just on the other side of the border. He was going to have an eastern section of the army push the lines to pull attention from the West to make it easier for us to get back."

"We will leave in the morning then."

"Ah, not to put a damper on things, but Lady Jessica should rest at least three days before travel. She is malnourished." Interrupts Caitlin.

"Besides we need to plan. This changes everything. We probably won't be able to get back into the castle now that Lena is free." Says Alex.

"Alex I swore I would take Lena home." I stand, my voice rising at the thought of them trying to stop me.

"I won't stop you, Kara. But once Queen Rhea knows Lena is missing, the city will be sealed, patrols will be everywhere. We need to think through this before we get ourselves killed." I glare but remain silent, knowing she has a point but not liking it.

"We are not reckless. We always have a plan. And we will for this as well. Anyone who doesn't live here permanently, return home. Keep your heads down and wait for further communications. Sara, show the Queen's Guard to the lower rooms. Caitlin, look after Lady Jessica in the Medical Bay. Dismissed." Maggie commands. Slowly people disappear leaving the Queen's Guard, Maggie, Alex, and Sara with me.

"Kal..." John starts but trails off.

"It's Kara now. Or again I guess." I tell him.

"Kara. We have all missed you. We..."John trails off.

"We want to serve under you again, captain." Connor supplies.

"I'm not a captain. Or a knight." I say.

"But you are. Master Winslow says the vows are for life, and when Queen Lena undoes the banishment, you can return to leading us." Says Anthony. I look at each of them. They all seem sure and in agreement with the men who had spoken. I look at John.

"You all really want that?"

"I will follow you anywhere," John says.

"If my queen will have me, then yes, I'll return." We all look at Lena.

"Kara, I already told you I need you. I need you by my side to take back my kingdom. But I am not Queen yet though my mother will pay for what she has done."

"My pardon, your highness. To us, you are queen. You are the rightful heir and now knowing that Queen Lillian did this, she has no right to rule us." Says John, Rao bless that boy. Lena just nods.

"Sara you can show them to their rooms. I will come by later. I am going to take Lena to see Jessica."

In the medical Bay, Lady Jessica lays on one of the twenty beds with Donovan sitting by her, holding her hand. We hadn't had to use this room really, but Caitlin insisted on its construction. Donovan looks up at our interest and tries to stand but Lena waves him off, focused on Jessica's prone form.

Her cheeks were shallow and her skin was ashen. Her hair was as dirty as her clothes but still, she smiled when she saw Lena.

"My lady. I told you would find a way." Tears roll down Lena's cheeks as she practically throws herself on her friend. Her arms wrap around her.

"I'm so sorry... I... I should never have taken you with me. Then sh...she wouldn't have been able to use y...you." Lena sobs into Lady Jessica's chest. Jessica uses her free hand to soothingly run her fingers through her Queen's hair.

"Shhh... I'm okay. It's all okay. They just didn't give me as much food as they should have. No one laid a finger on me. We are going to be okay."

I stand frozen in the doorway. Unsure how to handle this. As Lena's breathing slows, Jessica finally looks to me. Her face scrunches in confusion.

"And who is this?" She asks. I guess I had changed a lot in the months since Kandor.

"Jess, this is Kara." Lena gestures for me to come take her hand. Recognition Dawn's on Jessica's face.

"Kara, oh Rao. Of course. Who else could save the queen? Rao, you look so..."

"Different?" I try.

"Feminine." I laugh at that.

"Well, there wasn't any reason to hide anymore."

"And are you two..." She gestures to us. In response, I wrap both my arms around Lena from behind and nod to the unfinished question.

"About time." Is all she says. Jessica settles back into the pillows and lets her eyes drift shut. We turn to leave the couple be. Donavon had watched me the whole time silently.

"Kara?" He says just as I open the door for Lena. I turn back to him and he stood right behind me. Before I can ask what he wanted, He had pulled me into a tight hug. I sound of surprise escapes my lips before I registered what is happening. Slowly my arms hug him back.

"It's good to have you back." He whispers.

"It's good to be back with you guys."

Donavon releases me after a moment more before turning back to sit next to the bed. Lena grabs my hand outside the room and lets's me lead her to my own room. I grab a torch on the way from one of the walls. I managed to convince Felicity to let me have one near the top of the plateau with easy access to the outside. It was far away from most of the others who lived here permanently. They chose to have rooms closer to the common living areas. I chose to be close to the sky. The room was small, only meant to house me. I had started to actually decorate on various trips back. A rug on the rough stone floor. Books stacked in various places. And expensive paints in one corner with a half-finished canvas of Killer in flight. The painting was new to me but I found I liked it.

"This is... not what I expected. You paint?"

"I'm learning," I say, moving around the room to light various candles and lamps before sticking the torch back outside in a bracket.

"Well, you are quite good." Lena sits on the bed and looks about.

"And you have a lot of books. Is reading better too then?"

"Yes. Thanks to you. And books always reminded me of your study, the days we spent there and you helping me." I sit next to her and take her hand.

"I can see it. I can see you, in this room. I can see you." She says softly and tears spring to my eyes that I swallow back.

"Even the me that can kill a man with ease?"

"I don't think that's you. Not who your soul is. It's your duty. You aren't a killer, you, Kara Danvers, are my hero." I look into her wet eyes and kiss her softly.

"Can we sleep? I'm exhausted." She asks.

"Please. I've missed my own bed. Not that yours is bad, but it's way too soft." Lena laughs. I move and press my back against the rough stone wall and pull Lena into my arms as we lay down. It doesn't take long for sleep to find me after the adrenaline crash I experienced from our escape.

[nocteverbascio]

Sam and Alex fic idea! Ruby has a soccer game and invited Alex as a thank you for talking to her about Supergirl and ends up getting invited over for dinner at the Arias household afterwards but ends up paying more attention to her mom than to the food~ 😉

this…..turned out so much longer than i expected. i mentioned im a HUGE sucker for single parent AUs right? i am sO ABOUT THIS SHIP like i dont even watch the series anymore but agent reign?? MMM DELIGHTFUL. i took some artistic liberties with this but we all need a good feeling fic right?

1+1=2 (if you want me too)ao3 link

Alex is trained to notice things. It’s part of her job as much as it’s part of her life now. What she seems to notice right now is Sam.

Sam the CFO, the single mom, the friend. There’s a lot going on for Sam and she’s out here doing it on her own. That says a lot to Alex and there’s no higher level of respect that she can have for the woman. But she can also see where Sam does so much that she misses out on some things.

“Hey, I’m so sorry about that,” Sam says as she settles back into the lawn chair next to Alex’s.

“It’s okay,” Alex responds. “Well, it’s okay for me. Ruby scored a few seconds ago off an assist.”

“That’s great!” Sam smiles proudly before cheering for Ruby.

“Ruby was actually looking for you in the crowd. So I don’t know if it’s actually okay.” There’s a small frown on Sam’s face at Alex’s rambling, which makes her feel incredibly guilty. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really know how to put that.”

“No, I should be the one that’s sorry,” Sam says with guilt in her voice. “I’m always working on something even before I started at L-Corp and I haven’t been giving Ruby as much attention as I want to. Or as much as I should really.”

Alex stares sympathetically. She unconsciously reaches for Sam’s hand. “I’m sure she understands. You have an important job after all and you’re trying to provide for your family. Once you get into the groove of things, you’ll be able to find some balance.”

Sam glances at Alex’s hand over hers, which makes Alex blush. There was definitely no reason for Alex to be touching Sam, she’s always been respectful of personal space. Just as Alex thinks to pull away, Sam turns to hand to hold Alex’s still. “Thanks for coming,” she says gratefully. “I know that Ruby invited you, but it’s really nice for me to know someone else is also here to support Ruby.”

“Of course,” Alex responds like it’s no big deal. “I’m more than happy to be here.”

After their conversation, Alex notices that Sam only picks up one phone call for the rest of the match and diverts several calls to her voicemail. While the laptop on her lap stays open, she spends more time trying to find Ruby on the field.

“If I have to be honest, now that I’m actually watching the game I have no idea how it actually works. All I know is that Ruby is the center forward.”

Alex laughs a how charmingly clueless Sam explains herself. “I can help explain if you'd like?” she offers.

Sam smiles gratefully. “I would love that because the internet’s vast knowledge cannot explain soccer to me.”

Alex spends the rest of the game explaining the rules and positions as they come up. When a foul comes up against Ruby, Sam gets up to passionately dispute it. It only makes Alex laugh.

After the game is over Alex helps Sam pack up their lawn chair and lunch bag.

Ruby comes trotting over, bouncing with excitement to see Alex still there.

“Congratulations on the game,” Alex says, earning a happy hug from Ruby that nearly knocks her over. She’s caught off guard and looks over at Sam, who is equally surprised.

“Thanks for coming!” Ruby peels herself away before turning to hug her mom. “I saw you yelling and I was really surprised at you mom.”

“Why are you surprised?” Sam kisses the top of her daughter's head.

“I didn't think you knew anything about soccer.”

Alex snickers because Sam tries to fight the offended look off her face and fails terribly.

She scoffs at Ruby and playfully pushes her. “I had an expert explain the game to me,” she pointedly looks at Alex.

Alex feels the heat rush to her cheeks. The way Sam regards her is playful as it is welcoming. She’d mainly been Kara’s and Lena’s friend so she has to admit it feels different when Sam sends playful jabs her way.

Ruby smiles brightly at Alex that it warms her as well.

“Come on,” Sam gathers her laptop bag and Ruby’s duffel. “We can go home and celebrate your win.”

Ruby bites her lip before looking over her shoulder to the rest of the girls on the team. “Actually mom, do you think I can have some of the girls over?”

Sam looks both surprised and it quickly dissolves into a soft smile. “Sure thing, Rubes.”

Ruby looks relieved at her mom's response and instantly looks over at Alex. “Could Alex come over too?”

Alex is surprised now. “I don’t mind,” and they both look to Sam, “as long as you don't mind of course.”

Sam looks hesitant and Alex is about to say it's perfectly fine and make up an excuse to leave, but then she looks at Ruby, who stares at her hopefully. “The more the merrier,” she answers with a smile.

----

When Alex arrives about a half hour later because she said she’d stop to get some wine for the adults, Sam opens the door looking flushed and out of breath.

“Hey!” Sam greets, trying to catch her breath.

Alex glances Sam up and down. She’s still wearing the same clothes as earlier, but her hair is slightly mussed, and there’s a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.

“Hey?” Alex greets. “Is this a bad time?”

Sam’s eyes widen at her state. Her face is adorable and Alex can’t hold back a smile. “I’m so sorry.” She moves to let Alex into the house. “We don’t usually have company, so I sometimes let the house get a little disarray. But Ruby’s been making friends, better friends, and I just wanted to make sure everything is clean and ready for the girls.”

Alex enters the house, not entirely sure what to expect. To her surprise, the living room looks immaculate. There’s no dust, there’s no stains or dirt, everything is neatly organized. “Wow, this is such a mess,” she jokes sarcastically.

Sam lets out a light laugh in response. “I cleaned the living room first, which was a mistake because I spent way too much time and forgot about the other rooms in this house. I’m really sorry, you have to see this.”

Alex quirks her head. “It’s fine, Sam. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is.”

“That’s really sweet of you Alex, but I have a stack of dishes and a stove to clean. Not to mention, I’m not sure if I bought enough drinks for the girls or snacks. Shoot! Snacks!”

The spiral that Sam starts manifesting very physically. Alex can see the pulse throbbing at Sam’s neck (not that she’s been staring, it’s just noticeable---her pulse not her neck) and the thin lines on her forehead as she starts to stress. She walks quickly as well, not realizing that she’s been leading Alex towards kitchen, one of the places she actually doesn’t want a guest to witness.

Just as she steps in, Sam does realize that Alex has been following her. She turns so quickly on her heels in the doorway that Alex doesn’t have time to stop and bumps right into her.

Suddenly, their faces are extremely close and their bodies would be pressed against each other, if it weren’t for the wine bottle. Not that the wine bottle helped much because the back of Alex’s hands grasping the neck is pressed into Sam’s chest. Alex usually has better reflexes that that.

“I’m sorry! Maybe, you should stay in the living room? Ruby will be done with her shower soon and it’s in a much better state than this,” Sam says quickly, completely unbothered by their lack of personal space.

Alex has the decency to take a step back, so she can breathe as well. She peers around Sam’s slim shoulders and sees the mess that she’s mortified of. She gets it. There are a surprisingly number of glasses and mugs littered across the counter and island for a household of two. She spies the leaning tower of dishes that are spilling onto the counter as well. It’s more than enough she needs to observe.

“Take this,” Alex holds out the wine bottle for Sam.

Sam takes it with confusion. Alex peels off her leather jacket and hands it to Sam. “What’re you--”

Alex takes step around Sam to get through the small doorway. “I’m going to help you, duh,” she rolls up her sleeves. “You might want to be a good host and put that wine on ice for us.”

Sam stares dumbly. “What? No, you’re my guest.”

“Lucky for you, I am one of the good kind of guests,” Alex says over her shoulder as she opens up the dishwasher. It’s completely empty. “Come on, don’t just stand there. You have a bunch of adolescent girls coming over.” She smiles at Sam, raising her eyebrows playfully.

Sam laughs to herself. “You are incredible. ”

----

They work together. And after Sam’s initial hesitation in letting Alex help, she relaxes visibly. Alex can see the tension slide off of her shoulders as Alex rinses the dishes to load into the dishwasher before, while Sam sweeps around her. They fall into a coordinated dance almost because Alex can tell when Sam is near and moves her hips and feet around for Sam to do her thing when she starts cleaning the counters. Sam is very insistent that she cleans the stove though, not that it bothers Alex. Alex finds a way to make herself useful.

“So food?” Alex asks.

“I ordered pizza, fries, and wings. I might have over ordered but they’re growing so it’ll be fine.”

“Plates and utensils?”

“In the top cabinet next to the fridge.”

Alex moves to pull them out and sets them down on the island. She turns to the fridge. “You mentioned drinks?” She opens it up and finds a moderately empty fridge. “No drinks?”

It dawns on Sam. “Oh god, I must’ve left them in the car.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Ruby asks as she enters the kitchen. Her hair is still slightly damp, but she’s clean and out of her soccer uniform.

Sam immediately looks to her daughter. “I might’ve left the drinks and snacks in the car, do you mind grabbing those?”

Ruby nods. “Sure thing, mom.”

“I’ll help,” Alex offers, following Ruby out the back door.

Ruby grabs the keys and leads Alex outside. “Have you been helping my mom this entire time?”

“Yep.”

“I’m surprised she let you,” Ruby says as she pops open the trunk to the car in the driveway. “She kind of hates getting help from anyone that’s---you know, not me.”

“I kind of insisted,” Alex admits, feeling a bit sheepish. “Should I not have?”

“Part of me says no because she has like a method to her madness, but I really appreciate it.” Ruby pushes open the trunk and both of them find the bags.

Alex holds out her hands to help grab things and like her mother, Ruby doesn’t realize that Alex is actually there to help. There’s a surprised look on her face before she smiles and thanks her.

Alex and Ruby spend their time unloading the snacks and drinks talking about the game and Supergirl, while Sam works around them, making sure that everything that’s listed on her mind has been checked off. Just as she does that, Alex can’t help but smile because she sees Sam slowly relax; she gets to take a long breath just as the food arrives.

“Mom, you ordered for an army!”

“You are growing, you need all the food you can get.”

“But we’re not boys.”

“Does that mean you can’t eat?”

Ruby opens her mouth only to shut it and Sam stands there is a shit eating grin at her daughter. Alex laughs at their interaction.

Not long after the food arrives, several of Ruby’s teammates start to show up. They end up with a lot more snacks and food than they intended because some of them also contribute chips and dips leaving Sam overwhelmed.

----

“You and Ruby have a great relationship,” Alex says when they have a minute to hide in the kitchen. Well, Ruby ushers them out out once the girls start playing some board games and switch. Sam isn’t offended, giving her daughter some space but leaving her with a look to let her know immediately if something is wrong. Alex can’t help but notice the way Ruby nods seriously to her mom with a furtive glance over her shoulder.

Sam smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “We try.” She pulls out wine glasses from the cabinet before going to the fridge for the wine.

Alex takes a seat at the kitchen island and stares. “You’re a great mom, Sam.”

Sam raises her eyebrows and lets out a sarcastic, “Suuure.”

“You are.”

Sam opens her mouth to say something but instead she turns around to the drawer to pull out a wine opener.

“What?” Alex asks curiously. “Ruby loves you to pieces.”

Sam turns around with a small sigh. She clasps the wine opener between her hands, fiddling with it as she speaks. “If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel like she’s the one taking care of me.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Alex tries.

Sam tilts her head, raising her eyebrows. “She’s a kid. She should just be a kid. She’s growing up too quickly. I feel like that’s my fault. I try to make sure she has everything she needs to be a kid but then some mornings I turn around to see her give me a piece of toast because I forgot to eat breakfast.”

Alex looks at Sam sympathetically. “It’s not a bad thing to take care of each other,” she reminds carefully. “It’s what family does.”

“Alex…” Sam doesn’t look like she believes her.

Alex stands up and meets her. “Have you forgotten that when Kara and I were teenagers, I lost my dad?”

“I’m sorry,” she lets out with guilt.

Alex smiles with reassurance. “It was hard for all of us. My mom had to take care of the two of us all on her own and she wasn’t the best mother all the time. Most of the time, Kara and I took care of each other and sometimes we took care of her too. There were plenty of cold meals my mom would have to eat if she got home late from the lab.”

Sam smiles down at the wine opener in her hands, clearly thinking of a similar memory. Alex ducks to meet Sam’s eyes. Sam’s eyes meet hers and Alex can’t help but be mesmerized by the shimmering hazel color.

“The point is,” Alex says lightly, plucking the wine opener from Sam’s hand, fingers brushing very briefly that she feels a spark of electricity between them. She ignores it and turns to grab the bottle of wine. “Family is about taking care of each other. And it never hurts to have a helping hand every once in awhile.” She turns the corkscrew with ease and pops it out that it surprises Sam.

Sam bites her lips thoughtfully at Alex. “I might not always be receptive to your helpfulness, just to let you know. You caught me off guard today.” She reaches for the bottle of wine and her fingers close around Alex’s unconsciously.

Alex feels her throat dry because they’re close again. And once again, their in physical contact. “I don’t mind it at all,” she lets out softer than she intends to. She manages a small smile to lighten the mood.

Sam peels the bottle of wine out of Alex’s hand and glances at her while she pours their glasses. “I hope you know that I am very thankful for everything you’ve done for me to today.” She hands Alex a glass and picks up her own. She holds it in her hand as does Alex, because their eyes meet once more and they stand still. And just stare.

Alex hasn’t realizes how much of Sam she’s noticed throughout the day, but looks beautiful when she smiles without a care in the world, even though it’s short lived.

“Mom?”

Both of them turn their attention to Ruby standing in the doorway with a curious look on her face.

Sam clears her throat. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“We were going to start playing Mario Kart and wanted to know if either of you wanted to play?”

Sam smiles. “You know I’m terrible at that game.” There’s a small pout at Ruby’s lips at the mild rejection.

“Yeah and you shouldn’t be drinking and driving,” Alex jokes stepping backwards to go to Ruby. “Come on, I totally crush it at that game.” She throws an arm around Ruby’s shoulder comfortably and guides her back to the living room, throwing a glance over her shoulder. She tilts her head, encouraging Sam to follow at least.

“You’re going to regret saying that,” Sam adds, grabbing the bottle of wine and following them.

----

At the end of the night when all of the girls are gone, it’s Sam and Ruby once more. Alex stays behind offering help to clean up. Sam is bamboozled when Ruby grabs onto Alex’s arm and starts directing her the minute she offers. There’s a gentle narrowing of her eyes, but she knows Ruby wants her mom to relax. Alex doesn’t mind it at all because she wants the same thing.

Sam cleans up the kitchen while Alex and Ruby clean the living room. She boils water and makes tea for Alex. Ruby oddly enough asks to go to her room to clean up because unlike her mother, she hadn’t decided on cleaning her private space. Alex and Sam stay in the kitchen, drinking tea and chatting about work. A brief moment where Alex can see that Sam, despite a mild derision of how much she has to work, she actually enjoys it. She finds it just as fulfilling when something goes the way its intended as much as she loves Ruby.

“Thanks for today,” Alex finds herself saying as she steps out onto the porch.

Sam shakes her head. “Thank you,” she emphasizes as she steps out, closing the door behind her. “Having you here today was really nice. You are really good with kids.”

Alex tries not to preen but she’s happy to hear that. “I’m glad you say that. I hope one day I’ll be a good mom like you.”

“Well if you ever want a kid, you can always have mine,” Sam jokes glancing back at her house.

Alex’s eyes widen because she knows it’s a joke but....

Sam quickly catches on.Her gently tan cheeks turn pink and it’s barely noticeable under the porch light, but Alex notices with how closely they’re standing. “I meant--Ruby. If you ever want to take my kid away, you could. Well, not like indefinitely, but if you ever wanted to hang out.” She stumbles over her words so quickly that Alex doesn’t feel awkward anymore. She laughs to catch Sam of spiraling once more. There’s a beautiful laugh from Sam as she tries to regain her composure. She facepalms herself before looking at Alex. “I usually wait for the third date to mention kids, so clearly I’m out of practice.”

Alex lets out an incredulous laugh. “Are you saying that this was a date?”

Sam blushes. Honest to god, blushes at the mention. Alex thought she was a nervous mess more than half of the time, but Sam seems to outdo her tonight unexpectedly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--I mean, we spent the day together, doing all this domestic stuff, and now we’re standing on my porch like the end of a romcom.”

Alex takes a breath. She’s noticed a lot of things about Sam today. Probably more than she should be privy to, but none of which she minds. And she tries to be calm, instead of a nervous wreck for Sam’s sake. “If this was a romcom, I’d kiss you goodnight and hop on my motorcycle while you watch me ride off,” she jokes in return.

Sam bites her lip and stops breathing. Alex can tell by the way her chest stops moving. Her eyes trail down, subtly, to Alex’s lips. Her eyes dart back up to meet Alex’s. Just as she leans in, the porch light flickers and they look up before they see the curtain move.

“Ruby,” Sam breathes out in disbelief.

Alex rubs the back of her neck nervously. “I should get going,” she offers, trying to make the situation easier for Sam.

Sam swallows with a nod. “Ride back safely.”

Alex nods in agreement before turning to step off the porch. “If you ever need me to spend time with Ruby while you’re busy with work, I’d be more than happy to,” she offers over her shoulder. "You're missing out on the best years of adulthood."

Just as Alex reaches the bottom of the steps, she feels a tug at her hand and turns to find Sam standing before her. Before she can even react, Sam’s hand comes up to cup her cheek and the same between them disappears when their lips press together. Of all the things she noticed about Sam today, Alex commits to memory how soft and pliant Sam’s lips are as they kiss. Sam knows how to kiss. Out of practice? Alex doesn’t think twice of that as she kisses Sam back. Their lips easily slide against each others in concert. Alex hand comes up to cup Sam’s warm cheek.

It starts so quickly, Alex expects it to end the same, but Sam pulls back slowly, drawing Alex towards her. It doesn’t register in her mind that they’ve stopped kissing until she has to breathe in.

“Wha--”

“Maybe when I’m not busy, you can spend time with me too,” Sam suggests, biting the corner of her lip as she smiles shyly. She glances up and down Alex before letting her go.

Alex stands in awe as her heart races inside of her. “I’d be more than happy to.” The smile on her face grows infinitely larger.

Sam walks back to her door and Alex walks over to her motorcycle, thumb brushing her lips. She mounts her bike and looks over to see Sam lingering at the door. Then she realizes what Sam’s waiting for. She smiles at Sam before pulling on her helmet.

Alex turns on her motorcycle and kicks off the stand. She gives one last look to Sam waving goodbye to her before riding off into the night.

Just like a romcom.

[phantomrose96]

Artificial Heart

This is my Final for my creative writing class. It’s over 10,000 words long so not the lightest read. But heck man it’s done and I’m pretty proud of it :‘D

Matt never saw the whole body.

Most of it was too buried to see, or charred to a black unrecognizable. It was only the right arm he saw, slung across the cement ground with its fingers curled in, nails cracked and peeling back from the heat. The palm was scorched ashen, splits in the skin leaking fresh oily red beneath the pyre of flame and the sweeping blankets of dark black smoke. The heat cracks ran like veins down the forearm, until everything became buried at the elbow. The forearm was half-submerged in the slick, oily sludge that built up a sheen at the bottom of the pile--a viscous, separated fluid which smelled of death in its own right. An ochre trash bag rested on top and molded to it. Then more sat atop that. They built the whole inferno—sickly flesh-colored sacks that split from the heat and spilled their guts of rotted food and plastic containers and diapers, napkins, dinner plates. The ochre bags were designed specifically to be environmentally friendly, that’s why regular citizens were allowed to burn them once the landfills had overflowed in 2030. It said nothing for the contents of the bags.

Matt stood, his own ochre bag in hand filled with nothing but take-out containers and soiled paper plates. He stared until his eyes burned with the smoke, and his throat itched with the particulate matter not trapped in the cotton mask over his nose and mouth. He considered getting closer purely out of curiosity, but it was in the air now, the parts of it that had burned. He pictured the ashy, feather-light flakes of it settling on his sweatshirt, on his mask, on his brow unprotected. He could never scrub that off, not fully. So he shuffled over to the conveyer belt, and he dropped his own garbage bag there, and hung around just long enough to watch it topple over the precipice and onto the pyre below, its fabric already crinkling in the flames.

Matt turned around so the air hitting him was fresher, and he considered for a single moment calling the police. The thought lasted only a second, and it was banished. Matt had called the police only once in his life, and he had thought it was brave at the time. He’d been fifteen, sitting on the front steps of a dense and warm summer night listening to the yelling inside roll and ebb and crescendo again. It was back when his dad’s affair was new information and his mother, small as she was, had become something heinous when given access to alcohol and kitchenware. The police fixed nothing after he called them, as he sat there, arm curled around their dog Lucky. They only took his mother off for the night, and his older brother had to drive to the station to retrieve her in the morning. And her court date two weeks later to dismiss the charges had ran late, so she arrived thirty minutes after tennis practice ended to pick up Matt, dressed in her Sunday best and saying nothing the whole ride home.

Matt learned to keep things private after that. He did not want to thread himself with the affairs of the police again—as a victim, or a witness, or a suspect. He would not call them, not even for a dead body.

…

Gray storm clouds rolled in with the humidity. They drove a tension into the air that crackled against Matt’s skin and made his upper lip sweat against the air mask. He walked the concrete-lined path back to his apartment, a full half-mile from the communal trash pyre. He lived with his girlfriend Lena, and luckily they lived upwind from the pyre, but days like these sent hot, bloated pockets of wind in all direction. The standing water that lined the streets and rimmed the cracks in the sidewalk turned pungent. Air clung to the skin like sweat, and in the distance the lone few leafless trees howled, the wind stripping their branches and slicing through like hot breath. Matt quickened his pace. He didn’t care to feel the air linger on his skin any longer. It stuck to his throat too easily, shortening his breath, pushing his heart through hiccupy bursts that would stutter until he coughed. The air was bad for you, everyone knew, but Matt had a feeling it was worse for him than most anyone else.

Matt was wheezing slightly when he made it up the last of the four flights of stairs to his apartment door. He undid the deadbolt to get in, and redid it for good measure when he had shut the door behind him. The air inside was cleaner, thinner, but not pure enough to warrant removing the mask. Matt removed his shoes instead, and rubbed his heels. He set his eyes to the sink to wash his hands of the lingering feel of the trash bag. He’d shower too, to wash the ash from his hair.

“Any trouble?”

Matt shut off the tap. He ran one dripping hand through his sandy hair and looked to the couch. Lena sat there, her legs curled beneath her, laptop propped against her knees. Her hair was wet, licking her collar bone with water beads like drops of sweat. The dryer parts of her hair had curled into a thick frizz, coiled by the humidity. Her cotton mask was pulled to the side. Matt wasn’t sure if she’d had it like that the whole time, or if she’d pulled it aside to speak to him unmuffled.

“No, no trouble,” Matt answered through his mask. His throat still felt smothered. He opened the cabinet in search of a clean glass.

“You took long today.” She stood, and carried her laptop over with one hand supporting it like a serving platter. Lena stretched to her toes to grab a different glass from the cabinet. She waited behind Matt, who quickly turned the tap back on to finish filling his glass.

“Did I?” Matt asked, benign in his pretend ignorance. He pulled aside his mask and tried not to cough as the water hit his throat. Lena filled her glass after him.

“What are you working on?” he asked.

“3-D designs.” Lena tilted her laptop so he could view it. A three-dimensional grid sat superimposed on the general model of a heart whose surface was broken up into thousands of matte polygons that wove together into bevels and dips and hollows. The left ventricle was still one flat surface, not yet constructed.

Matt stared until he felt tired looking at it, imaging the work behind the intricacies of its details. He set his glass beneath the tap against and refilled it. “Are you going to get it 3-D printed?”

“Eventually. It’s not done yet. I’ve kinda hit a block working on it.”

Matt nodded, and it was about the best he could do in these conversations. He didn’t understand her work, at least not at a level to contribute to these discussions in any way that didn’t leave him feeling foolish. Lena had been a senior at Holyoke Tech when Matt had been a freshman. She’d graduated with her degree in biomedical engineering and accepted the offer to stick around and do her PhD under her senior thesis advisor. She’d claimed it was the best choice financially, but Matt knew she’d turned down at least two job offers in California in order to stay. She’d been excited about those offers; she’d tried to talk him into transferring to some tech institute near one place or the other. He didn’t remember what institute—he only remembered that he hadn’t had the energy to consider uprooting himself after a whole year at Holyoke. He’d managed to tell her that, and that if long distance wouldn’t work, he thought it would be best they break up. Lena stopped talking about the job offers. She started acting excited about staying at Holyoke for her Ph.D. It could have been coincidence, Matt told himself, but deep down he was almost certain she’d stayed just for him.

The details in his mind were hazy; that had been nearly three years back, and Matt’s memory was a cracked and hole-ridden thing anyway. He wasn’t sure. Maybe she has had a different reason.

By the end of this year, Matt would be graduating with a degree in computer science. Pursuing a Ph.D. afterward didn’t interest him—nothing much did. His future remained empty, so he mostly listened to Lena’s explanations of her work, feeling just a bit stung that he could understand nothing past the graphics interface her modeling software used, and even then at nothing more than an amateur level.

“Do you still have to do a lot of work on that before it’s printable, or what?” he asked.

Lena nodded, her lips tight. “Yeah, but Farhid only wants to see the wireframe structure by Monday. These filled-in regions can be tweaked later. They’re all resting on a wireframe and that’s the only part I really need done by Monday. Farhid’s current model has got too flimsy of a scaffold. It’s gotta hold its shaped but when he gets to the phase of growing the cells around it they get too eager to bind across the gaps. Instead of dividing enough times they just heal across the gaps—extracellular matrices find each other and bind—and they squeeze the scaffold until it warps. Farhid’s given up on his design and wants me to come up with something that won’t do that. Usually he’s a lot more hands-off with my work but he needs this favor…” Lena trailed off. Her top teeth lingered on her lip, eyes lost out the window in thought. Matt followed her gaze but found nothing. He saw only tall brick buildings just like theirs stretching into the air, separated from them just by the street below. The smog sat between their window panes like water vapor.

“Lena?”

Lena snapped back, dark eyes suddenly alight. She set her laptop on the counter and raised her glass to her lips. “Right, I was just thinking if maybe my scaffold--pretty much I should have this part done by noon. Do you wanna watch a movie after lunch?”

“I shouldn’t—I’ve got work,” Matt answered. He did have work—three overdue labs and a fourth one on the horizon. Dread weighed his stomach down, to the point that failing seemed preferable to slogging through the programs he knew he’d not get completed before the end of term. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t graduate. And maybe that was fine. Maybe he’d take an extra semester here with Lena, and sort his life out…

He was too tired anyway. For work or a movie.

Or Lena.

“What about going out to dinner?” Lena followed up. She glanced to her laptop, a worried twisting of her brow, then shut her computer entirely. “There’s a new Thai place across the street from Bella’s apartment. She says it’s good. I’ve been looking for somewhere to go for my birthday.”

Matt’s lip curled slightly. He didn’t know Bella well. She was Lena’s friend, an ashen white girl of 22 with stringy blond hair and thin teeth. She talked too much and too long about nothing; her focus shifted too easily—between people and conversation topics and drivers on the road. He had been in the back seat, Lena in the passenger’s, three years ago when Bella T-boned another car through a red light. Matt had woken up in the hospital with a punctured lung and his breathing had never since been quite right. He hadn’t hung out with her since, and had no desire to.

“You don’t like Thai food,” Matt answered, because he knew that route would be easier.

“I don’t like the Thai take-out place. This one is new.” There was an edge to her words. It annoyed Matt just a bit, because it filled him with the sense that he wanted to reassure her, but his mind was too tired to come up with the words to do so.

“Maybe another night.” Matt passed from the kitchen to the livingroom—the two were separated only by a change in floor tiling, linoleum to wood. He settled on the couch, dragged his laptop across the coffee table, and glanced once more to the hazy gray sky through the window, pregnant with a threatened acid rainfall. Matt tried to remember just how many missing assignments had piled up. He couldn’t. His brain felt moth-eaten. He was tired.

“…Are you feeling okay?” Lena asked. She followed him, settled in beside him with her laptop angled away. There was something just too probing about her stare, clinical like a doctor’s. “Let me see your Fitbit,” she said, and reached for his arm.

“It’s fine. I’m tired,” Matt answered, shifting his arm out of reach. He was uncomfortable with becoming a specimen.

“You’ve been coughing. Your heart’s being weird again, yeah? You should maybe take a couple days off from classes to feel better.” Her worried face was ashen. Matt was reminded of staled chocolate bars that accrued gray, ashy dust on their surface from age.

“I told you I’ve got work to do. I need to go to campus tomorrow for class.” Matt paused, and he racked his brain. “…You’ve uh, you’ve got some kind of presentation tomorrow, don’t you?”

Lena pulled back, her cheeks filling with just a bit of color as she looked to her laptop. “Yeah… It’s a small thing. All the Ph.D. students have to present at the panel.”

A deep and low grumble shook through the house. The hot, humid air spiked, and the television-static hiss from the outside the windows followed the sudden deluge of rain from the choked skies.

“How about I come to that? For your birthday, instead of going out to dinner. And you can go out with Bella on your birthday instead.”

“You wanna hear me talk about my work?”

“Yeah, it’s cool stuff. I mean, making body parts? That’s cool.”

“It’s still—ah, there are a lot of failures in my work,” Lena answered, dismissive, though her cheeks flushed just a bit deeper, and she spoke through a suppressed smile. “It could be a long time before I’m able to make something sustainable.”

“Yeah but, eventually. And in the meantime I still want to hear about it. Even if I don’t get it.” He moved a hand out and reached around her back, placed it lightly on her shoulder, testing if it felt right. She eased into him, and Matt was reminded how soft she felt—her cheek against his shoulder, her arm wrapped to his chest. The tension inside him loosened. Shamefully, Matt wondered why he felt any tension toward her at all.

“I think you’ll be a bit disappointed. I won’t be pulling any fully-formed organs out of a vat at the podium. My slides are just going to be a lot of pictures of slimy half-formed organs and some charts about their constitution. The slides with the virtual models will look nicer.” Her wet hair soaked into his shirt, leaving paintbrush streaks and small damp blots. Matt was reminded of the charred flesh still likely clinging to the fabric. Lena’s hand tightened against his chest, and she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. “Oh, there’s going to be images of cadavers on some of the slides too. They’re donated to science so you don’t have to…feel bad, but if you’re uncomfortable seeing them.”

Matt swallowed once. Curled charred hand in the pyre. “…Cadavers?”

“Dead bodies. Like they use in teaching hospitals, med school. Farhid has a colleague at Holyoke General so he can file requests for cadavers that the hospital is finished with—that wording sounds harsh. Um, to put them to further use, I mean, is the better way to put it.”

Matt nodded. His chest felt heavy, his head just a bit light, like he was breathing in his own air. He thought about dead bodies, dead flesh, charred skin, how it burned black and peeled and split. He felt like it was in his lungs, and doubled over coughing.

“Matt!” Lena pushed off from him. She crouched on the floor in front of him, grabbed his chin, and worry was all he saw in her eyes, more worry than actual person. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Matt—“

“I’m fine.”

“Tell me.”

“I saw something in the garbage pyre.” Matt blinked, straightening, though he now stared only at the ground as she spoke, racking his memories. “There was a dead body in the garbage pyre. I saw it burning there, all buried underneath—just an arm but, it was a human arm. The body was somewhere. It was burning. Right in the garbage pyre.” He steadied his breath. He grabbed his mask and pulled it aside so he could suck air deep into his lungs—it felt better like that, clearer, and for a single moment his head cleared as well. “That’s ridiculous, right? There can’t be—there’s no way—I was seeing things. There’s no dead body in the garbage pyre.”

Matt locked eyes with Lena.

“That is ridiculous,” she said, and each syllable was well-enunciated. Her face had closed off, a dark and blank slate, with a piercing directness behind her eyes.

“That…is ridiculous,” Matt said again, as if to test the words. He looked at his hands which he had already washed, and felt he could see the residue of burnt flesh, scattered up in the wind, clinging to his slick and sweaty skin. He felt it on his shirt, dense around the collar and tight as if restricting airflow to his lungs. His heart hiccupped through a beat, and only caught its normal rhythm again when he coughed.

“Yes, it is ridiculous,” Lena echoed after him. “Crime around here doesn’t happen. It’s only other Holyoke students who share that pyre. If someone had been murdered and vanished then we would know about it.”

Matt rubbed his hands against his pants, until the sweat glistening in the lines of his palms vanished. He would wash this outfit. He would burn it in the garbage pyre, maybe. “Then what did I see in the pyre?”

“Anything. A lot of things can look like body parts.” Lena dropped her hands to Matt’s shoulders, grounding him. “I look at body parts and organs so much I start seeing them everywhere. It happens. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“What if it was there?”

“It wasn’t.” Lena paused. Then her grip loosened, and she leaned back against the coffee table. She lowered herself from her crouch, sitting now on the floor, her knees up and wrapped against her chest. “…But even if it was, it doesn’t affect us, Matt. It’s not either of us. It’s not our problem…”

“Okay… Okay.” Matt stood. He offered her a hand, and he pulled her up. The light that leaked through the pelting rain robbed the room of color, desaturated it. Everything had tinted gray, and just a bit yellow. The sensation still clung to Matt’s clothes, and he offered Lena a smile. “You’re right… You’re right. I’m uh… I still want to shower. Want to do take out? Afterward? Or in a few hours maybe.”

Lena nodded, though Matt still felt like a specimen beneath her eyes—worse, a specimen to be handled carefully. “Sure. Sure. Want to do the Chinese place?”

Matt waved a dismissive hand as he stepped around her. “Whichever. I’m not all that hungry today.”

Matt shut the bathroom door behind him, and he stripped his clothes and dropped them in the pocket of space behind the hamper so they would not mingle with the others. He showered too long, then fell asleep still-damp and in pajamas on the couch when he only meant to nap for an hour or so. Lena did not wake him, even for dinner, so he rose only to the sound of pre-sunrise birdsong some 14 hours later.

Matt checked the bedroom, and Lena was asleep in bed. He considered moving to join her, but he doubted he would fall back asleep. Instead he shrugged on a coat, and laced up his shoes, and grabbed an umbrella as he headed out.

The garbage pyre was muted under heavy rain. Its tall licking flames were reduced to wisps, smothered and buffeted about under a sheet of water the danced with the hot gusts of wind. Matt’s cotton face mask grew damp, the breath in his throat wet. He squinted through the sheets of rain to the bottom of the pyre.

There was no hand there.

Nothing sat where it had been. To its right, Matt was certain he saw the light imprints of boots in the sludge, shimmering visible because the rain water filled them in.

…

Lena drove them both to campus that day, her wipers churning through the slates of rain that washed her windshield. The black skies were blacker now. Thunder rumbled; pieces of the cloud cover flashed with light. The shallow sewer grates bubbled over so that the water flushing through the streets turned murky. The air tasted hot and sour against the back of Matt’s throat. His head ached with the lightness he hadn’t been able to sleep off.

She pulled into her parking spot in the lot just outside the biomedical building. It was rare for Ph.D. students to have their own spot, rarer still to have one right beside the building. As Matt understood it, it had been part of Dr. Farhid’s bribe to get Lena to stay for her Ph.D.

Lena did not switch off the exhaust. She did not unbuckle her seatbelt, so Matt did not either. He followed her eyes, distantly focused in the pelting sheets of rain against the windshield, the wipers that cut watery arcs over the glass that filled back in after each pass, incessantly, forever. She drummed her fingers along the steering wheel instead.

“…Lena?” Matt asked.

“I can still take you home,” Lena said. “I know you’re not feeling well.”

“I’ve been feeling weird for a couple weeks. It’s normal now.” He studied her, the tension in her body, the tightness of her fingers wrapped to the wheel as she only stared forward. “I can like, schedule a doctor’s appointment, or something.”

“You don’t need to come to my talk just to support me. It’s okay,” Lena said. She looked to him, smile pained, and Matt could tell saying so was a sacrifice. She wanted him here.

“I want to,” Matt answered. He looked away, because he felt that tension again clamping on his chest. He hated not knowing what about Lena made him so tense. “You do all this amazing stuff that uh, I think it’s like I forget. Or like, I forget that it is amazing, because I’m like ‘yeah, that’s what Lena does, creates body parts from nothing, like always.’ I should uh, I should see you talk about it and impress people. I wanna remember all over why it’s so impressive.”

Matt heard nothing but the sweep of the windshield wipers, the firm pelting of the rain. He finally glanced her way when the silence unnerved him.

She was just smiling.

It was a smile that brought out the little crook of dimples along her cheeks, and squeezed softly around her eyes, and brought a warm brightness to her face that lit what the smothered sun could not.

She used to smile like that a lot more, Matt realized. Years back when they first met. Most days now, she only seemed stressed.

Matt could say the same of himself, he supposed.

“Okay… Okay. Do you need to stay for your class after? If you’re not feeling well, I can just drive you home after my presentation. How about that?”

Matt shrugged. “I’ll let you know how I’m feeling.”

Lena nodded, satisfied. She twisted around in her seat to grab her backpack that had been tossed into the back. She unzipped it and pulled a pocket-sized umbrella from its depths, and she handed it to Matt. “Here.”

Matt grabbed it, then looked to Lena; she was significantly better dressed than he was: a stark and crisp blazer overtop a ruffled white button-up, a black pencil skirt and stockings, heels on her velvety dark shoes. She’d straightened her hair, and whisked her lashes with mascara, and touted a faint red artificial blush on her cheeks. He then looked out the window, at the torrential rain, and the thirty feet at least to the door.

“You need that way more,” Matt remarked.

“It’s fine. I’ll run. You need this way more. This weather is bad for you.”

Matt wasn’t sure what she quite meant, so he only nodded, and took the umbrella. Lena leaned across the divider between them a left a single, light kiss on his cheek. When she pulled away, it was the old Lena again, with the bright smile and the eyes like warm chocolate that Matt remembered falling in love with.

“Love you,” Lena said, and she killed the ignition, and popped the driver’s side door open.

“Love you…” Matt whispered back, and he watched her race through the rain, heels clacking, her backpack held just above her head for shelter.

…

The auditorium was a room he’d never seen. It was a brightly lit room whose seating rose a step at each row back, so that the very last row watched from the highest vantage point. The seats were plush green, and each had a small fold-out desk for taking notes. Dark wooden paneling lined the very back of the room, just behind the very last row of seats. The podium and presenter would seem small from back there, low to the ground and dwarfed beneath the enormous projector warming up against the lowered white screen at the very front.

The room was already about a third filled, and from the scattered number of audience members in well-ironed blazers and professional dark dresses, Matt assumed the presenters sat among the crowd while awaiting their turn. So he scanned the audience, and found Lena sitting in one of the backmost rows, all the way to the left, just against one of the rear exits. Bella sat next to her, one seat closer to the center of the row. Bella pointed to Matt, and Lena turned to follow the line. She waved when she spotted him.

Matt sidled in beside Lena, the last seat of the row, and set the wet, collapsed umbrella down at his feet. Up close he could see how the rain had thoroughly soaked her hair. Streaks from her fingers ran through it, where she’d clearly attempted to comb it back into submission. It had mostly worked, though a few loose coils spun free. Her make up remained mostly intact.

“Hi,” Bella said first, and the tight discomfort of her lips seemed to suggest she was no more happy to speak with Matt than he was to speak with her.

“Hey,” Matt offered back. He looked her over once; her corn silk hair had been pulled back into a tight bun. A floral patterned dress hung loose around her stocky frame. Her shoulders were covered by her halfway-buttoned cardigan, a muted pink against the vibrant violets and reds of her dress. She wore dark stockings and dark shoes not at all distinguishable from Lena’s

“How are you?” Bella asked.

“Good. How are you?” Matt returned.

“Lena says you haven’t been feeling that well. Um, I hope you get better.” Her eyes flickered around, either disinterested or uncomfortable, Matt could not tell.

“Yeah I’m sure I will. This thing comes and goes.”

Lena leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees so that she cut Bella from Matt’s sight. “So you found the room okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m here. There were signs. You sure you didn’t want the umbrella? I mean too late now but uh, you’re all wet.”

“It’s fine. Best you don’t stress yourself too much,” Lena answered. Matt leaned away just a bit on instinct.

“I’m fine…” he answered. The insinuation that he wasn’t had worked its way beneath his skin. It ignited that tension in him all over, fumbled his emotions until he settled on annoyance. He realized Bella had worn the same look too—some kind of anxious discomfort or pity that Lena now appraised him with. He wondered what Lena must have told her. He wondered more why Lena was so insistent upon him being unwell.

He said nothing about it. He only let it simmer while Bella and Lena restarted their conversation from earlier. Matt didn’t care to listen. He sunk into his plush seat, his breath just a bit too uncomfortably hot and damp beneath the face mask. So he loosened it from his mouth and nose. He shifted it to the side to just block the two girls out, and pulled himself up into his own mind.

The body… The body the body. Or the arm, just an arm, in the pyre, burning until someone had pulled it out sometime last night. It would have been easy enough to do, given some caution and a pair of thick gloves, since the rain dampened the fire to near non-existence. But to trudge through the oilslick underneath, through the miscellaneous soup of rotting and putrid and fetid garbage. Matt shivered, thinking how long a shower it would take to rid yourself of that taint.

The lights above dimmed. Some man in a suit stepped up to the platform. Applause met him; the audience stirred and shuffled. Matt blinked, adjusting to the new dimness, squinting at the harsh white glow as the projector caught, and displayed the Holyoke crest across the whole screen.

Matt didn’t catch the name of the man speaking. He was a bald and dark-skinned man whose voice was low and smooth enough to distract Matt from what he was actually saying. The man’s speech began with some remark about the advent of human discovery in medicine, and anything past that Matt did not hear. He only clapped when everyone else clapped, and stared on as the first Ph.D. student approached the podium to present.

He was a mousy little boy who introduced himself as Dylan something. Nerves seemed to raise the pitch of his voice, and he spoke too quickly as he flipped through slides detailing the design of some chip to capture circulating tumor cells out of blood draws. Or maybe he spoke at a perfectly fine pace, as everyone else seemed to follow along—Lena and Bella watched on, calm, looking neither lost nor confused. Maybe Matt himself was just too dumb to follow.

Spitefully, Matt elected to stop listening. He let the mousy boy Dylan-something keep on talking, and lost himself instead in his own mind again. Bella lived in the same designation of apartment buildings. She shared their garbage pyre. It was a slim chance, but she might know something. She could have taken her trash out the previous night. She could have seen something to explain what Matt himself could not.

He glanced past Lena, who was washed pale in the residual light from the projector, and she stared at Bella instead. He investigated her face as if he might be able to read off it if she’d seen a dead body or not. He had no such luck.

Lena felt his eyes, and she glanced over to him. Her smile was thin. Quietly she whispered. “Anything wrong?”

“No…” Matt answered.

“Okay. If you’re not feeling well…”

“I’m fine,” Matt asserted. He stared forward again, breathing deep so that he could stomp down his own squirming frustration. The presenters had switched in the meantime. The new girl was a redhead who opened her presentation with a slide filled with gratuitous shots of what seemed to be an eviscerated rat. Matt shuddered. He elected to zone out again. He racked his memories so that he could permanently stamp the image of the hand to his mind. He wouldn’t let this become another punctured hole in his memory. He thought about the way the skin shined, like pork skin on a spit roast, leathery and tight except for where it split to reveal the squishy pinkish oozing mess beneath. He thought about the splits in the fingernails, and the torn-away flesh at the wrist where bone was exposed, and how little blood seemed to coat it, and if—

“I’m up next. Let me scoot past you Matt so I can get to the front.”

Matt leaned back against his seat, and silently he let Lena step over him. Only her backpack remained in the foot-space of her seat.

--and if someone he knew really was a killer.

Applause echoed from all sides of Matt. Rat girl drew her presentation to a close, and bowed with a deep toothy smile. She unplugged her laptop from the projector, which fizzled out to a stark blue screen while Lena propped her laptop on top and plugged it in.

The empty gap between him and Lena felt suddenly loud.

“Are you uh…Are you excited to see Lena present?” Bella asked.

“Yeah,” Matt answered.

It was strange, experiencing a silence with Bella that was not immediately filled with her prattling voice. It had been three years since he’d spoken with her at length. He’d anticipated an apology for the accident and never quite got one, so he’d made no real effort to reconnect with her again. Maybe she’d just gotten quiet in that time.

“She does really cool stuff. We’re all jealous of her, you know. Okay not like we hate her, but we all know she’s doing the best work. She acts like it’s not but it is. She doesn’t even talk about most of it. You should be really impressed with her. And not in a mean way but you should probably be feeling really lucky to have her.”

Matt stared forward. He decided again that he didn’t like Bella. “Yeah, it’s impressive.”

“Some people think it’s just setting down cells in the shape of some organ, but no. It’s way way more complicated. That’s the reason scientists can’t make 3-D organs yet it’s because they fail right away, there’s too much complexity to a body. Lena’s on track to crack that. You should feel real grateful to her and not stress her out, okay? She’s doing so much.”

“Are you saying that I am stressing her out?”

“I’m not saying you’re doing it intentionally. Just please be nice to her.”

Matt shot her a withering glare, but she offered no response. She sat there, bony and lanky and wispy and like half a living human herself. He disliked her more than the carefree talker that lived in his memories before the crash, before his memory got bad.

“There was a dead body in our garbage pyre yesterday, did you know? Lena says nothing was there. I’m wondering if maybe you’d say differently.”

“Dead body?”

“Dead body. A hand, I saw. It was burning in the bottom of the pile. And then this morning it was gone.”

He met her level gaze. Her bright blues eyes seemed to wait for him to reveal more. He held out the silence.

“That sounds extreme. Maybe it was a mannequin hand.”

“The inside was flesh.”

“You said it was gone this morning. Maybe you just didn’t really see it yesterday.”

“I could report it to the police. We could see if there are surveillance tapes around—“

“Don’t—“

Matt lapsed into silence. Bella’s voice lashed and then died instantly. A momentary look of panic flashed and vanished from her eyes, and she pulled back into her seat.

“Don’t…?”

“Don’t stress Lena out anymore, okay?” Bella answered. “Don’t get her roped into some kind of crazy witch hunt with you. Lena has real things to do. Not all that should revolve around you, all the time, like it does.”

“It doesn’t,” Matt answered. Bella acted as though she hadn’t heard. She was staring forward. Too late, Matt realized Lena’s presentation had started.

He scanned the current presentation slide, mentally scrambling in an effort to catch up. Eight time-lapse photographs were lined up, four on top, four beneath, showing what seemed to be the thin, sturdy, almost plastic membrane in the shape of a heart progress into something fleshed and filled-out. The first image was a plastic shell suspended in some kind of saline solution. The next seemed to have developed a thin, slime coating. The next had been moved into a mold whose translucent outline bore the unmistakable negative space for a human heart. The next had two dozen hooks and needles piercing the flesh, seeming to weave and coax the direction of artery growth.

“Professor Fahrid’s design above… Disfigurement by stage seven… Beats under electric pulse… Constitution too weak to support normal blood flow…”

Matt caught only fragments of Lena’s voice. She flipped slides, and on it was the wireframe model she had shown Matt yesterday. Its left ventricle was constructed this time.

“Hope to implement… Full 3-D design… Stem cell cultures in hopes of…”

She flipped the slide again. This one contained two images, left and right. The left was a computer model, a lifeless polygonal human with its chest slit a few inches by the sternum and cracked ribs hinged back, the wire-frame heart, now fleshed in, secured in the chest cavity. The image was captured “Future implementation”

The left picture, with “Current implementation” captioned on top, was not a computer image. It appeared to be a simple cellphone photo, of a widely torn-back chest flushed white beneath the surgical lighting. The heart model Matt recognized as Fahrid’s from a few slides back was situated between the two lungs, both ghastly white and near indistinguishable from the bed of ribs that had been cracked back around it.

Neither the chest nor the heart caught Matt’s attention. Instead his eyes trailed to the bent arm, elbow just out of frame, and the fingers curled down near the hipbone where the image stopped. He stared at the cadaver’s fingers, all curled and white and bloodless, its nails like the nails in the fire but uncracked now, flesh still secured to the bone, except for near the wrist where a flap of skin had been cut away to reveal bone.

Without a word, Matt reached to the backpack Lena had left at the foot of her seat. He unzipped the front pocket and grabbed her wallet, flipping it open to see that her ID was tucked inside. He slid it into his pocket, and he stood, and he looked to the rear exit.

Maybe all dead hands looked identical. But he felt he was looking at the hand he’d seen in the pyre. The cut at the wrist, the flap of skin peeled away to reveal the protrusion of bone. He’d seen that. It was etched into his memory. He’d seen that exact cut in the pyre.

“Hey, where are you going?” Bella whispered.

He left the row. He quietly set a hand to the rear door and eased it open without a sound.

“Where are you going?” Bella hissed.

The door shut behind Matt. He clung to the image of the dead body on screen, its chest flayed and open, its curled hand filling just the edge of the frame. It reminded him all too much of… No, it was more than the hand in the pyre. Somehow, it reminded him of something worse, something more sinister. It filled him with some kind of aching familiarity.

(Lena did not want him focusing on the body.)

Matt knew the path to Lena’s lab, because he’d surprised Lena before in her PI’s office complex with flowers for her birthday. The secretary had found him endearing ever since, and she wouldn’t bat an eye if he entered.

(Bella did not want him pestering Lena about it anymore.)

He pulled Lena’s ID from his pocket and scanned it. The door unlatched. The receptionist, Margot if he remembered, saw him and smiled. Matt tried for a smile and a nod too.

(So he would just check it out alone. The itch became like a rash, if he could just understand what the cut had been. Just convince himself that the two bodies were separate…)

“Hey Margot, Lena needs me to grab something from her lab bench before her presentation, sorry.”

“Oh… I can’t let you down there,” Margot answered, blinking in surprise. She chewed her lip, chalky and cherry red.

“It’s very important for her presentation.”

“Still… You haven’t done any of the biohazard training, have you? It’s policy.”

“Is it…” Matt dropped his voice. “Is it because of the cadavers down there?”

“Cadavers?” Margot’s voice startled Matt. He jumped back a bit as Margot clutched the edge of her desk for effect. “Goodness no. Goodness no you cannot bring cadavers into this building! Are you crazy? No! Dead bodies in this building? You think I’m happily working here while there are dead bodies beneath my feet? Goodness gracious no. They’d arrest us for five different felonies I image. No… no all the cadaver work happens at Holyoke General Hospital. Only at Holyoke General Hospital.”

“Oh…” Matt answered, a bit taken aback, and a bit ashamed for having thought differently in the first place. “Okay then. Thank you.”

He turned on his heels, swallowing his disappointment. It was for the best, probably. There was no real logic in needing to see the cadaver body. He could ask Lena point-blank about the wrist. Maybe she would know, better yet, maybe she would finally believe him about the burning body. He had no real reason to trust Bella’s advice out of anyone’s.

“Well…” Margot spoke up, her voice lilting. “if she really needs it, and you can be fast…”

Matt paused. Margot’s words hung in the air. When he turned, her eyes were sly.

“Oh, um, it’s okay, Margot, she’s just—“

“Just don’t tell Fahrid I let you down there, okay? Can’t have poor Lena messing up her presentation, especially when you were sweet enough to come all the way down here.” Margot answered, and she motioned to the elevator just a bit down the hall.

“Oh…thank you,” Matt answered, his voice wavering uncertain. He had no good way to talk his way out of his lie, so he stepped into the hall, and he hit the down button. The elevator door pinged open for him. Matt coughed, and he vanished inside it.

He need only poke around the lab, and grab the first important-seeming notebook he could find, and resurface with it pretending it was what Lena had sent him to retrieve.

The temperature dropped with the decent and the door opened somewhere colder, dryer. Matt stepped out into a concrete hall. Matt coughed, and it echoed now in the hallway leading to Lena’s lab. The fit continued, until his heart stuttered sluggishly and tears beaded in the corner of his eyes. His footsteps echoed along with the coughs as he rounded the end of the hall to Lena’s lab.

He stepped up beside it and set his pocket to the scanner. It blipped. Lena’s card got him in, and Matt entered.

The lab was something he’d only ever seen once: a modest set up, white tiling and white walls and a white ceiling. Blue-topped counters lined each of the walls, and a single island in the middle bore shelves that stacked to the ceiling. Beakers, boxes of pipet tips, bottles of ethanol and dilutions lined the shelves, pipet racks sat on the counter—spotlessly clean—where the sink carved out a section in the corner. A water bath sat, set to 37 degrees Celcius, heating a bottle of red cell medium. An incubator sat opposite. Its shelves were like the shelves of a fridge lined with flasks of cell culture. On the opposite counter were several petri dishes, none with tops, all sporting different swaths of translucent flesh. A large heat lamp burned above them. There was a stop watch beside the set-up, ticking down.

Matt stepped forward. His shoes were still wet from the storm, he realized, and they squished leaving sponge marks with each step. He gave the lab another once-over, and a thin gray notebook propped on the middle shelf caught his attention. That would work. He grabbed it, flipped through it. It was filled with the documentation of experiments over the last couple weeks.

Matt…

His name flickered past at the head of one of the pages. Matt paused his flipping, and he sifted backwards until he happened upon the same page. It filled him with a strange twisting dread as he locked onto it, and read.

Height…

Weight…

Waist circumference…

Wrist circumference…

Hair length…

Shin measurements…

Thigh measurements…

Forearm measurements…

Matt skimmed the list. His name sat in solitude at the top, and down the entire page stretched a hundred or so different measurements, each penciled in with recordings to hundredths in their precision. His insides squirmed as he read the list again, his mind empty for any reason for having such detailed notes of him.

It felt violating, almost, to see himself deconstructed into hundreds of numbers. Like he was a specimen. Like he was something to experiment on.

The discomfort that filled his lungs was something difficult to breathe through. He flipped the page, and found the measurements continued.

Carotenoid artery diameter: …

Left/Right ventricle volume:…

Left/Right atrium volume:…

Depth of carotenoid vein permeation: …

The measurements became something Matt could not understand. The discomfort was violating. He felt suddenly in the lab of a stranger. He closed the notebook, and he looked around again, as if hoping something tacked to the wall might explain it.

He saw nothing tacked to the wall; Matt spotted only another door in back, leading to a supply closet of sorts, or something larger than that. There was a gauge beside the door that read -4C on it.

He stepped forward, and he jostled the door until it budged. Inside was dark. Inside was colder, chilled numbingly cold. Matt shuddered. He flipped the light on.

He froze.

A gurney stretched across the opposite wall. A body sat atop it.

The skin was sickly white, a pure milky unblemished hue robbed of all blood and life in the artificial casting of light. A simple tarp was draped across it for modesty sake, but limbs extruded from the edges. Toes curled up, their tendons taut and stiff beneath the skin. Light hair dusted across the skullcap, soft like snow, unbludgeoned, not knotted with blood, but so deathly still, so deathly stiff. A medical mask of sorts covered the nose and mouth, connected elsewhere. The right arm protruded from the tarp covered, slung out, fingers curled up and in, begging to mirror what had been burned.

Matt hadn’t noticed the tremble working through his system. The cadaver wasn’t the same as the one pictured in the slides. Matt knew that immediately from the intact right wrist hanging off the edge of the gurney.

The cadaver was, he realized, likely not even a cadaver.

Cadavers would never enter this building, Margot had said. This body, whoever and whatever it was, did not belong in the lab. This body was something Lena had brought here on her own terms, which she’d stashed away in the freezer room of the lab she shared with no one else.

Something cold, something dead, that existed in a place outside the realm of medical license. Lena’s discomfort with the dead body in the pyre resonated in him with new meaning. Bella’s fear of police involvement twisted in his gut. He knew he was staring at something heinous. He knew he was tightly wrapped, down to his every last measurement, in something that would terrify him to understand.

Silently, Matt dropped to his knees. He stared at the gurneyed body a little longer, and wondered what lifeless thing it was, and if his own fingerprints were now in the room, and if the body up there knew anything about the body in the pyre.

“Matt!”

His head shot up. Lena’s voice sent ripples of fear through him.

He did not turn though. He could only stiffen as the pounding of her feet approached, as she dropped down and grabbed him and held him, rocked him, muttering something through tears—

“No!” Matt yelled. He swung his hand out, throwing her off as he scrambled away. His back collided with the nearby wall. He swore he heard the gurney rattle. “Why is there a cadaver in the lab? He’s not one, is he? You brought it here.“

“Listen to me, Matt.”

Matt looked up. Lena inched closer, careful steps along with that same worried face. She looked as though he might fracture any second. She shouldn’t look like she pitied him. She shouldn’t look concerned.

“He’s dead,” Matt repeated.

“That’s not right.”

“The body! In the pyre! He was dead too.”

“Yes, he was,” Lena answered. Her words were sharp now, cutting in between Matt’s hysterics.

“Dead!”

“Yes! Yes Matt, the body in the pyre was dead, okay!? Dead! Stop saying it! I know. I know…”

Matt watched her approach with wide, hunted eyes. His hand shot behind him, to the drawer handle digging into his back. He opened it and plunged his hand in. It wrapped around the only thing he could grab, just a scoopula, which he brandished like a weapon for his own sake. Lena stopped, looking more hurt than threatened.

“You put it in the fire?” Matt whispered.

“Yes, I did,” Lena admitted through gritted teeth. “Now let me explain.”

“The whole body!? Was it there—just the arm—did you cut it up!?”

“Let me explain—“

“Was it a cadaver? In the fire?”

“Not—don’t call it—no, no it wasn’t.”

“Did you kill him?”

“I didn’t!”

“You did! Why would you burn it otherwise? You did.”

“I didn’t!”

“Who then!? Who did!? Who killed him!?”

“Bella did,” Lena snapped. Then she pulled back, and breathed once before whispering, “Bella killed him, three years ago.” Lena moved, and she was a smaller thing now. She stepped over Matt’s feet without his brandished scoopula reaching her, and she stopped by the gurney. She set a hand around the mask and lifted it. The body on the gurney had just a bit of color to his lips—sandy hair, bony frame. Matt stared at in in a momentary transfix of horror, then he touched a hand to his own burning face. “I’ve been trying to save him ever since.”

Matt didn’t hear. He stared at the body, his attention transfixed.

He stared at his own face, silently white on the gurney.

“It’s me…” Matt muttered.

“It’s you,” and it was an admittance of defeat. “It’s the next you I’m making.”

Matt shook his head. And he shook it some more, because it was all he could do. “Who was the body…? In the pyre? Who was it?”

“It was you, Matt.” She swallowed once. “The you who died last time. He’s been on ice, a few months now, because I needed to find a time when the trash heap was high and no one would notice but…you did. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

Matt shook his head again. “I’m me.”

“You’re one of you… So was he, in the pyre.” Lena looked to the gurney, and she nodded her head to it. “So is he, eventually.”

She placed the mask back over the body’s mouth lovingly, then she stepped away from it. She stopped in front of Matt and crouched, easing the scoopula away from him until it just dangled in his fingers, then she stowed it in her pocket. Her hand rose, the back of it skimming his hot cheek. “I keep trying, but I can’t get you right. It’s…they’re cadavers, at some point, the number of strings I pull with Fahrid to get them and not ask me why.” She looked around, agitated, then her manic eyes were back on him. “They’re only the framework though. I can’t make everything. I try to make everything I can—your organs, your mind, your face—I can make all the pieces of you now, and put you back together inside a cadaver’s body. But you just don’t last. Over and over—I’m doing something wrong. Your heart doesn’t keep beating in rhythm. The smog fills up with lungs with tar and it never filters out. Then something hits…a fever…pneumonia or…and you just don’t bounce back. I’m making you in a way that keeps on breaking, and it kills you again every time. It’s my fault, somehow, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

Horror blossomed hot and violent under Matt’s skin. Lena’s touch was like ice.

“That’s wrong. I’m me. Who did you burn?”

“So far, five of you… Five of you I’ve burned.” She looked away. “Including the real you… I’m sorry—I had to burn your real body and replace it. If I hadn’t then the hospital, the doctors, your family, they’d think you died.”

“…In the garbage pyre…?” Matt whispered.

“You were brain-dead,” Lena answered. She stood now, moving back to the gurney where her hands lingered above it, careful, loving. “The car smashed through you—not me and not Bella—it should have been me for dragging you out. …Should have been Bella for driving,” Lena said, a hint of malice in her voice. She reached beneath the gurney and grabbed a monitor and a pair of diodes. Then she moved back to Matt’s side and pressed them to the sides of his head. “But it was you. The doctors said you’d last only another two weeks after the accident. No part of you could recover from being so…so mangled up. It was just the machines keeping you alive, and only until the swelling in your skull finally killed you… They said to take you off lifesupport, Matt. I almost lost you. I almost lost you… ”

Lena tapped a button on the machine, cranked a dial up, and electricity seemed to burst behind Matt’s eyes. He blinked through it, confused.

“Everything I know is about modeling, scanning, printing organs. And I know you better than anyone. I just needed to model you perfectly, and build you up from scratch.” Lena tapped off the dial, and removed the diodes, and stood. She leaned over the body on the gurney and attached them to the sides of its temple. “Right down to your brain waves. Your memories.”

“…My memories?”

“Yeah,” Lena answered. The body’s eyes twitched, still shut, but suddenly alive with movement. “And you won’t remember this.”

Matt swallowed. His heart beat shallowly in his throat, fluttering and erratic. It sent stars through his vision. “Are you erasing my memory?”

“I’m just not transferring it to him,” Lena motioned to the body on the gurney. Then her eyes, wet with pity, set on him. “You’re the first clone to find out; is it okay to tell you I’m sorry? I’m sorry I let Bella drive. I’m sorry I can’t get you right. I’m sorry you have to keep dying like this every couple months. I want you to last… I’ll figure you out eventually, with no heart troubles and no breathing troubles. I hate watching you die. I love you, Matt.”

“Like this…?” Matt echoed. He tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn’t anymore. “What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?”

“You always last the same amount of time. Before the complications set it. I’m sorry Matt, you—this you—you’re winding down.”

“No… No no no no no.”

“I’ll stay with you. I always do. I won’t turn him on until you’re gone.”

“What does that mean?” Matt asked, panicked tears cutting an edge in his voice. He understood though, as his skin tingled to numbness, and Lena dropped to his side. She wrapped him in a hug, rocked with him, as the numbness spread, as it washed through his body in bursts and Matt found himself too weak to move.

It lasted hours, or minutes maybe, he couldn’t really tell. Rasping hot breath into his lungs for the body he couldn’t feel as Lena rocked with him, crying lightly. And it lasted, and it lasted until a white hot fire cut through his chest and erupted outward, and his breathing was strangled through water, and oxygen wouldn’t reach his brain fading black and stuttering damp and dark and cold, numb, off…

in…

to…

nothing…

…

Matt sat on the couch Wednesday afternoon, his laptop open to a few half-finished labs and the tv switched on to ESPN. He rested a bag of potato chips in the crook of his arm and ate them absentmindedly, watching the clock time out on the last play of the game. The clouds had cleared. The sunlight caught in beams along the smog and lit the air a fiery orange.

“Matt, I’m taking the car out for about an hour. You good here?”

Matt glanced over his shoulder. His eyes flickered back and forth between Lena and the game, making sure the clock really was on track to time out. It did, and he let out a small whoop before dedicating his whole attention to Lena.

She shot him a small smile, and grabbed the ochre bag from the trash bin, tying it tight. Matt frowned.

“I can take the trash out in a bit. Nice day, so the walk to the pyre shouldn’t be bad.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve got some old furniture I’m getting rid of there, so I’m taking the car.”

“You’ll stink up the car.”

“It’s a short ride.” She bit her lip. “And I’ve got other errands, might take a while.”

“It’s almost your birthday,” Matt remarked, unsure why he’d said it other than having been suddenly struck by the information.

Lena paused. “It is,” and she hefted the bag over her shoulder.

“There’s a new Thai place nearby. Do you wanna go there?” Matt asked.

“Where’d you hear about the Thai place?”

Matt paused, racking his brain. He screwed his brow in concentration and found the paths fizzling out, strangely empty. His memory had been so full of holes lately. “I dunno. Someone in my class probably. It wasn’t you who told me?”

“No…” Lena said, and some part of it was clearly a lie from the tightness in her voice.

“…I think Bella told me,” Matt said cautiously.

“I don’t really like Thai food.”

“You don’t like the take-out Thai place. This place is…” Matt trailed off, unsure how he’d meant to finish the sentence. Lena didn’t like Thai food.

“I should get going,” Lena cut in. She hefted the bag again, even though it was only maybe a quarter full. “I’ll be gone a while.”

“We can order take-out when you get back.”

Matt couldn’t explain the pained expression on Lena’s face as she left. He didn’t want to think too hard about it, because he was feeling fine for the first time in weeks and didn’t care to sour his mood with worry. He grabbed another potato chip from the bag and hoisted his laptop onto his legs, lab assignment open.

He’d gotten behind on his assignments, but it wasn’t impossible to catch up, not yet. Matt indulged for a moment in the idea of buckling down and working now, and not letting up until every last one was done. He imagined getting a passing grade in the class, and he imagined a diploma in his hands at graduation. He was giddy almost at the thought of getting out. Where? He wasn’t sure, but he could move on finally, get out on his own, get away and be himself somewhere away from—

He couldn’t finish the thought but, he knew what his mind meant by it. Lena was too good for him, really.

But the actual break up—that was a dour thought. It wasn’t meant for today. So Matt pulled up his assignment, and he skimmed the directions, and he coughed once. He kept going though, even as two or three more coughs racked his chest, because the coughing wasn’t all that bad.

Not yet.

[mythicvelocity]

Mercy76 Week Day 3 “Family”

Hello! So for this day I have an original fic actually! I found some time in my busy life to write something new! I am IN LOVE with the idea of Soldier 76 being like a dad figure to D.Va, and that is what inspired me to write this fic. Anyways, enjoy!❤😀 

Oh, the good ol’ after mission mayhem. Mercy never missed the insanity that ensued after the arrival of the dropship after a certain dangerous operation or a mission gone wrong. If she wasn’t dealing with medical emergencies in the heat of battle and attempting to keep everyone alive on the front lines, she was waiting for everyone to return where she would play the role of doctor and hero after the fact.

At the present moment she was sitting enjoying some lemonade and a book on a balcony overlooking the sea, but she found herself looking at her watch frequently in anticipation. The dropship’s ETA was 15:30, and it was currently 15:00. She was always extremely antsy leading up to the arrival of the team who went out on the mission. They were her family, and she hated to see them sad, sick or injured. She was always doting on them even when they weren���t injured, and she had earned herself the title “Mama Mercy” because of her behavior. It didn’t help that her boyfriend was the commander of the group, and because of his father-like leadership, he was affectionately (and sarcastically) called “Dad”.

Dog-earing her book page, she decided to get up and make her way towards the hangar. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to see if she had received any texts from Jack. There were none. That could either be a great sign, or a bad one. Sighing, she stopped by the kitchen to deposit her glass in the dishwasher, and continued on her way to greet the returning agents.

She had waited a mere 5 minutes before the dropship arrived.

“They are early.” she thought to herself after checking her watch.

Again, this could be very good, or very bad.

The second the dropship touched the ground the door flew open and everyone who had been on the mission piled out. By the looks on their faces and the fact that everyone was huddled around what looked to be a makeshift stretcher, she knew something hadn’t gone right. She quickly made her way over to see who everyone was huddled around, and her heart dropped when she saw their bloodied and bruised form. It was Hana.

Something about the young Korean girl evoked a strong motherly instinct in her. Sure, she cared about everyone on the Overwatch team like they were her own family, but something about Hana awoke something inside her. Maybe it was because she was young, or maybe it was because she also knew what it was like to be raised on a war torn world full of destruction. Regardless of the reason, she felt like she saw the face of a child of her own on the stretcher in front of her.

The first thing to snap her out of her moment of shock was a strong hand placed on her shoulder. Pulled out of her trance, she turned around quickly to meet the blue eyes of someone she desperately needed the comfort of at the moment. She could tell by his expression he was just as worried as she was.

Like herself, Jack had taken a fatherly role in the young girl’s life. Just like she had watched him step up to be a fatherly figure to Lena and Fareeha, she saw him become a rock and a supporter to Hana. He always made sure she was well prepared before missions, and always helped her out with something she needed (sometimes even if it involved pranking someone). The infectious happiness and giggles that came from the gamer was good for him, and Angela was glad that the two had become close.

“She took quite the blow from an enemy explosive.” he said gruffly. Behind his serious facade Angela saw he was worried. She knew him better than anyone else.

“Hurry.” she said plainly, attempting not to let any emotion seep into her voice. “Let’s get her into the Med Bay as quickly as we can.”

As soon as she finished her thought, the group set off racing towards the Med Bay. Reinhardt helped Jack carry the stretcher while Mercy hurried ahead of them. While she was scared for Hana’s well being, she was also slightly angry. She new that what happened on a mission was most of the time unpredictable, but she found part of herself blaming others for Hana getting put in this condition. As she opened the door leading to the Med Bay, she tried her hardest to push her feelings out of the way. The worst thing to happen as a doctor is to let emotions affect your work.

As soon as Reinhardt and Jack set Hana’s small, limp form on the table, she began to get to work. After checking her vital signs (which looked surprisingly good other than a slightly elevated heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure, which is to be expected from someone with blood loss), she started assessing her wounds. By peeling off her battle worn jumpsuit, she discovered she had one, if not a few, broken ribs. The broken ribs had not punctured her lungs, which was fortunate. An X-ray would have to be conducted to reveal the extent of the damage to the bones, but for now, there were other things to worry about. Any other injuries she found littered across her body were just minor cuts, scrapes and bruises; nothing that would require more than cleaning and some antibacterial ointment. What concerned her the most was the bleeding coming from Hana’s head.

The blast from the explosion must have caused her to hit her head on something, because there was a large gash on the back of her head that was bleeding. The blast hadn’t totally crushed her skull, but could very well have fractured it. She would suffer from a concussion for sure. Mercy began cleaning the blood from her hair, and disinfected the wound. The gash looked like it would require a few stitches, so she began to get to work.

The whole time Angela was working on Hana, Jack was pacing the hallway outside the Med Bay. Hana was like a daughter to him, although he probably wouldn’t outwardly admit it to anyone. She was so young, so cheerful, and had so much more of a life ahead of her. He always felt guilty if she got injured, even if it was just a small cut, because he felt like he was supposed to look after her. This was the first time she had gotten injured more than just a scrape or a sprained ankle on a mission, and he felt like it was totally his fault.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he heard the door open to reveal a tired-looking doctor. He quickly made his way into the room to see Hana’s condition. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he saw her blood free, laying on a bed, chest slowly rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern.

“She’s lucky it didn’t turn out any worse.” he heard Angela say from behind him. “All the cuts and bruises on the outside made it look much worse than it actually was.”

“What’s the real damage?” he asked.

“Well, she has two broken ribs. Luckily both of them are nothing more than bad fractures that won’t need surgery to heal correctly. Her head took most of the damage. She has nine stitches in her head to close up the cut that was bleeding and she definitely has a concussion. She is lucky her skull didn’t fracture as well. Besides not being able to play video games for a few weeks because of the concussion, she will definitely be ok. She’s tough and young. She’ll bounce back in no time. She should be awake soon”

The tone of her voice was filled with alleviation, and Jack knew she had been just as worried as he had been. He let out another sigh of relief. She was going to be ok. Not happy, because not being able to play Starcraft makes for a grouchy D.Va, but she was going to be alright. Turning around, he wrapped the small frame of his girlfriend into a hug. He could tell she was surprised at first, but she quickly melted into her embrace.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep her out of harm’s way Angel. I really try to keep my eye on her at all times, but it’s not always easy. She has a mind of her own and you know how Hana get’s when she sets her mind to something. I always try to return her in one piece but this time I didn’t. I know you care about her a lot and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep her safe.”

Angela just shook her head and rubbed her hand along his toned back. “It’s alright Jack. I know it’s not easy because you really care about her too, but we all know the risks when we load up onto that dropship. Both of you know the risks involved in fighting for what’s right and you do it anyway. Things like this happen, and even though it’s hard to witness, especially when it is someone who you love like your own child, it is a price that sometimes has to be paid to do what is right.”

Jack smiled and kissed the crown of her head, smiling into her platinum blonde hair. “I don’t know how I’d do it without you Ang. It takes so much out of me keeping tabs on these crazy kids.”

Angela just laughed brightly and brushed her fingertips against his jawline. “Oh don’t give me all the credit. Sure I keep them alive, but you have to get them to do what they are supposed to do. It’s like herding cats!”

The both of them shared a laugh before Jack leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. She smiled into the kiss, happy she shared her life with such an amazing man and incredible groups of “kids”. The loving moment between the two didn’t last long before a high pitched voice killed it.

“Ewwww!” Hana said from her spot on her bed. “Get a room you two!”

The couple couldn’t help but laugh. After being blasted by an explosive and hitting her head, Hana was still her same joking self. “How are you feeling honey?” Angela asked. “You suffered some pretty serious trauma to your head, how is it feeling.”

Hana proceeded to tell her that her head hurt, and she gave her some painkillers to help. She then asked her some questions about where she was, what happened, what day it was and who she was to gauge the severity of her concussion. Luckily she answered all the questions correctly. After telling her what she would have to do to allow her brain to heal (and dealing with the tantrum that ensued after telling her no video games for two weeks minimum), she stepped back and allowed her her to nap. “We are going to get something to eat real quick. We will be back in a little bit.” Angela said, referring to her and Jack, who was still with her. Both of them were hungry and exhausted.

Hana just nodded. Taking off her lab coat and draping it over the chair at her desk, she grabbed Jack’s hand and made her way to the door. Before she reached the door, Hana called out, “Hey! I’m thirsty!”

Angela could see the corners of her boyfriend’s mouth twitch into a smile, and she rolled her eyes. She could see this coming from a mile away.

“Hi Thirsty,” he said, “I’m dad.”

The look on Hana’s face was priceless. Angela laughed and shook her head. “I will go get you a bottle of water.” she smiled, barely able to speak through her laughter.

“Thanks mom! Looks like you are good for something other than bad jokes like Mr. Blondie over here.” she rolled her eyes, gesturing at Jack, who still had a satisfied grin on his face.

Giggling again, she made her way down to the kitchen with Jack, beaming. Her little family was going to be ok.

[supergirl-imagines]

Lena Luthor/you fic part 7

“Lena, maybe you should come inside?  I mean…Kara’s probably going to breeze right by us when she gets here,” Winn suggests awkwardly.  He’s never been great with the spectrum of female emotions and Lena had always intimidated him to begin with.  

“Fine,” the heiress sighs.  She peels her gaze away from the night sky and allows Winn to lead her through the emergency room entrance.  Her pulse is racing and can bring herself to sit even once they’re inside, leaving Winn to watch her pace the lobby.  Her footsteps don’t pause until a flash of blue and red shoots through the doors and stops in front of the nurses’ station desk.

“I need a doctor!”

Time slows for Lena the moment her eyes lock on your limp form in Kara’s arms.  The symbol on her chest is streaked with your blood and Winn reaches out too late to catch Lena from bolting in your direction.

“Y/N!”

The way your name leaves her lips is heart-wrenching and the ER seems to spring to life around her.  Kara turns away from Lena’s direction, not wanting her to have to see the way you’re choking for air and the way your features have been distorted by bruises and swelling.  The hero’s cape flutters behind her as she walks to meet an approaching team of nurses and doctors.  Winn finally catches up to Lena just as they lay your body onto a gurney and he wraps his arms around her torso to stop her from getting any closer.  Kara turns and feels her eyes water at the desperation on Lena’s face.  

“Lena—“ Winn’s voice cuts off as the nearly hysterical woman rips out of his grip and tries to make it around Kara as well.  

“Let them help her,” the blonde murmurs, pulling her friend into a tight embrace.  “It’s alright, Lena.  We found her.”

“I’ve got her,” Winn takes Lena by the arm and nods at Kara, knowing she needs to change, and leads her to a chair in the waiting room.  In less than a minute, Kara returns in a sweater and glasses; nodding her thanks at Winn as they switch places.  

“Thank you, Winn,” Kara whispers.  She reaches forward and squeezes the young man’s hand earnestly.  

“Thank you,” Lena repeats after her; voice thick with emotion.  It takes every bit of her self-restraint not to barrel through the double doors she had watched them wheel your gurney through.  Winn nods at her sympathetically before exiting the hospital and leaving the two women alone.

“C-can you hear what they’re doing?  I mean…you’ll hear if she…” Lena can’t bring herself to say it, but Kara understands nonetheless.  She can’t imagine how painful it is for her to be so close and still not know what’s going on.

“I’ll hear,” she assures her.  “Lena, why don’t you try to sleep?  They’re…they’re taking her into surgery soon.  It’ll be hours before we know anything.”

“Okay,” Lena agrees shakily.  “But, you’ll wake me?”

“I promise,” says Kara.  Much to her relief, Lena rests her head back against the wall behind them and allows her eyes to flutter shut after a few seconds; finally succumbing to the weight of the past five days.

————————————————————————————————

It was well past midnight before anyone came to the waiting room calling your last name.  Kara hadn’t responded initially, having not known it and not heard you croak it out to one of the nurses during the chaos of your intake.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the doctor had tried finally.  Lena’s eyes flashed open before Kara could even wake her and she blinked away the momentary confusion that always accompanies waking up in a foreign environment.

“Is she alright?” Lena sat up in her chair and gripped the arm rests; scared to hear what the man had to say.

“Are you family members of Ms. Y/L/N?”

“She doesn’t have any,” Kara clarified before Lena could rip his head off and gave him a pleading look.  

“Hmm,” he grunted and glanced down at the chart in his hands.  “Ms. Y/L/N has suffered an immense amount of physical trauma.  Her CT’s indicated some internal bleeding, so she was taken to the operating room upstairs and we found several damaged arteries in her abdomen which we were able to take care of.  There was also a significant contusion on the back of her skull, but her neurological reflexes seem to be normal, so we’re not expecting any lasting brain damage.  As for orthopedic issues; we did a full body x-ray after surgery and she has a stable fracture on her left tibia and severe bruising on the left side of her ribcage, which means she could have some trouble with pain during breathing.  There was also a considerable stab wound near her heart, but the blade of the knife only struck a minor artery so we were able to stitch it closed and replace the blood loss with transfusions.”  The man looked up from his papers and paused.

“So, she’ll be okay?” Lena ventured.  It didn’t feel safe to assume you were going to survive.  

“We’d like to keep her for a few days, but yes, all of Ms. Y/L/N’s injuries should heal with time.  She was also dehydrated and her blood work shows a low level of major nutrients, so we’ll be treating that intravenously.

“Can she see her?” Kara put a hand on Lena’s back as the other woman struggled to comprehend the fact that you were going to be okay.  You had survived.

“She’s still under sedation from surgery, but yes, one of you can sit with her,” the doctor replied reluctantly.  Normally he wouldn’t allow visitors so soon after surgery, but it was apparent that whatever had happened to you was not under normal circumstances.  He also wasn’t about to say no to the woman he recognized from television as a Luthor.

“Go up,” Kara offered her friend a tired smile and got to her feet.  “I’ll stop by tomorrow, alright?”

“Thank you,” Lena threw her arms around Kara unabashedly and hugged her tightly—a rare action for her.  “I’ll never be able to repay you, Kara.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied warmly.  Kara turned and thanked the doctor before heading out the emergency room doors, leaving Lena to follow him to the elevators.  Her hands began to tremble on the ride up to the ICU and she did her best to try to mentally prepare herself to see you.  She knew it would be bad, but nothing she told herself stopped the air from rushing out of her lungs the second she entered your room.

“She should wake up within the hour,” the doctor informed her quietly before leaving Lena alone with your sleeping form.

It was bad.  So bad, Lena didn’t think she would have recognized the woman laying in the bed if she hadn’t known it was you.  She edged hesitantly to the chair at your bedside as tears welled in her eyes.  

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured.  One of your hands rested above the thin hospital blankets and Lena took it in her own as lightly as she could.  Your skin was cold against hers and she studied the deep abrasions that wrapped around and around your wrist.  Tears spilled down Lena’s face and her voice trembled as she whispered another apology.  

It seemed that since she had finally allowed herself to break down days ago, it became easier and easier to get completely overwhelmed by her emotions; like a dam had broken and now refused to be patched up.  Lena muffled a sob into the edge of the bed’s mattress, still clinging to your hand, and succumbed to the crushing weight of not knowing whether or not she’d ever touch you again lifting.  

———————————————————————————

Lena stays in the same position even after her breathing steadies and the last of her tears fall; with her head resting beside your hand and her eyes clenched shut.  She doesn’t see how your eyes open and then squint against the fluorescent light above the bed.  She doesn’t see the way they scan the hospital room slowly and then finally come to rest on her still form beside you.  Her head only lifts at the sound of her name; raspy and weak on your tongue.

“Y/N?” she whispers.  You realize that your hand is in hers and squeeze as hard as you can.  There’s a sudden, odd pressure on your chest and your vision blurs from the tears that well at the sight of her.  It wasn’t something you thought you’d see again.  You try to sit up, but your entire body seems to protest and your head spins from the cocktail of drugs in your system.

“It’s okay—“ Lena’s voice is enough to get you to lay back and you draw in a painful breath, “—I-I’m here.  Do you want me to get a nurse or someone?”

“No,” you shake your head, “please stay.”

“Okay,” she replies.  There’s a beat of silence, and then she speaks again.  “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Don’t, please.  Lena, can you just…can you just lay with me?”

The words come out in a tone that makes you feel like you’re begging, but your pride isn’t on your mind.  You just want to rest.  With her.  Despite the waves of pain that follow the small series of movements, you move over on the mattress and try to hide the labored breaths that follow as Lena carefully climbs in next to you.

“Are you alright?” she asks; afraid that even brushing up against you is going to somehow further the damage.

“Yeah,” you reply.  It’s getting difficult to even keep you eyes open at this point, and you rest your head against her shoulder; ignoring the pressure it puts on your bruises.  The smell of Lena’s perfume and the warmth from her body is enough to put you at ease again and the pain wracking your nervous system fades to dull throbs.  You’re nearly asleep when her hand finds yours again.

——————————————————————————————

You wake up with a start around 4 am, short of breath and in a shocking amount of pain.

“Y/N?  Are you alright?”

Lena’s voice seems to center you and you turn enough to lock eyes with her.  She’s here.  You aren’t there anymore.  You’re safe.

“Here,” she places something in your hand and you quickly press the remote once you realize that it’s attached to your IV.  Almost immediately, your heartbeat seems to return to normal and your pain fades slightly.  Lena watches some of the tension in your body melt away and your head falls back onto her shoulder.  

“You’re still here,” you note after the painkillers swim to your head.  

“Of course,” Lena replies quietly.  

“You’ll stay?”

“Yes,” she takes the remote from you and intertwines her fingers with yours once again.  “Go back to sleep.  I promise, I’ll be here.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” you reply.  You don’t have the nerve to say that it’s because you’re scared that if you close your eyes, you’ll be back in that room with her mother when you open them again.  “How did you find me?”

“You need to rest, Y/N.  I’ll tell you everything in the morning, I promise.”

Lena rubs her thumb across the back of your hand and kisses the top of your head as lightly as she can.

“I didn’t think I would see you again,” you ignore her request and tilt your chin up to look at her.  Her face is inches from yours and you can see the toll this has taken on her.  It makes your stomach churn.

“I know you must have been so scared, but it’s over now, Y/N,” Lena’s voice is earnest and quiet in the dark hospital room and you will yourself to believe her words.  

It’s over.  I’m safe.  It’s over.  I’m safe.

You repeat the mantra over and over in your mind until the anxiety in your veins lessens and you let your eyes shut once again.