#and ITS STILL RARE!
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okurrr youtube music has a wrapped too
#im 'giving amped dramatic chipper pop music'#13k minutes of listeninnngg#2k new songs#most listened new song was obsession by sir chloe 125 minutes worth which isnt a lot lol#surprisingly my top artist is melanie martinez for the fifth year in a row at 10 hrs#even tho i feel like i literally never listen to her#bc i dont#i listen to her literally like 2 days of the year#0.2% of bea millers listeners lets goo#i agree more with bea being myy top listened artist bc i listen to her way more#and ITS STILL RARE!#I KNOW THIS SHIT IS WRONG BC IT PUT BE MORE CHILL ABOVE THE ARCANE SOUNDTRACK WHICH IVE BEEN LISTENING TO ON LOOP FOR WEEKS#I LISTENED TO BMC O N C E THIS YEAR BESTIES
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i dont acknowledge luce's hot evil brother enough
#rory#doodle#by which i mean i drew this during my 5 hour delay on an airplane#i rarely draw on my ipad anymore but its still fun weehe
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Tumblr stop recommending me horny sapphic blogs that all say men dni in the pinned post, go back to sending me posts from the one that's just horny all the time please, I want the fat furries and the queer freaks that are way less respectably normal about me and my body.
#long post#feels weird to have this tagged important although I'm glad it resonates with many different trans people#dni lists are generally useless and rarely seen but i see all the saph ones bc I'm checking they're not terfs and its weird#but its just always weird bc they always are trans inclusive binary exclusionist and its like what are you doing#anyway its pretty much all an online thing but weird insight into the whole neoliberal gender politics#trans inclusive politics that still fundamentally are binary exclusively in action
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#Im still doing commissies just let me have my rare romance moment. I need to get this out its a process trust me#I have been frustrated and now I'm better and I'm like Oh right love is real#mitworai#twogami#ryota mitarai#the ultimate imposter#ultimate imposter#Sagimita#I've been thinking about them since that dream I had. Love em tbh.
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winterfell is one of my favorite of the castles bc its warm. both in a metaphorical and literal meaning. its built on natural hot springs and has hot water streaming through out the entire castle, protecting its residents both from the cold and people alike. its so warm inside that catelyn can open her windows in the middle of the night and still stay comfortable. even the glass gardens are warm enough for flowers to bloom and crops to grow in the long winters, feeding the keep. the people are warm too; everyone from the servants to the lord himself. Ned cared for his people and they loved him for that and took care of the Starklings in turn, risked their lives to save Bran and Rickon from the ironborn. Theon knows that if Bran and Rickon were to get away from Winterfell, the commoners themselves would protect the princes, hide and lie for them. and when Sansa builds Winterfell from snow and rocks and sticks in the Eyrie, it doesn't feel right bc despite the snow which covered it from winter to summer, Winterfell itself never was cold
#and also! the vale!#during sansa's stay in the eyrie it doesnt feel like HOME. its white and cold and empty and despite rarely getting bards and singers#winterfell was ALIVE and warm and despite being burnt down and broken ppl still long for it. be it sansa or arya or bran or cat#even jon misses winterfell and his family and his father and half siblings despite knowing he ought not to return#theon too for that matter. hes a liar and a killer and he betrayed the starks and yet...#asoiaf#winterfell#finally reading adwd btw... finally returning to the north does something to a lad...#house stark#ned stark#catelyn stark#sansa stark#bran stark#rickon stark#catelyn tully stark#its also making me realize how much i miss winterfell povs... maybe i should reread the early books actually#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#chaos reads
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This one goes out to all the Finchpaw fans out there
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#i dont know why she had so many prompts this moon. but good for her#SHES FINALLY OUT OF THE HEALERS DEN!!!! WOOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOO#and minklake with the ten thousand kittens trying to get their attention. crying my eyes out. i love them#by the way before anyone asks. the connection to starclan is still fully severed for the average cat#crowstar can just get the rare occasional contact because she specifically has the strong connection to starclan trait#sc moons#sc:piperdapple#sc:finchpaw#sc:fennelacorn#sc:dawnpelt#sc:minklake#sc:greenkit#sc:strawkit#sc:lizardkit#sc:rosemarykit#sc:crowstar#sc:puddle#sc:cliffthicket#i hope the image quality is okay because i had to export it from my tablet#if its bad i might replace it later when i get to my pc again
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egg
#genshin impact#my art#watching the trailers and seeing him without his hat on made me realise that he kind of looks bald without it on#kind of like an egg#still very cute tho#also a rare moment when i actually try and render smth let’s all cheer bc its not happening again
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
#THERES LIKE. BARELY ANY.#IF I GET LUCKY ILL SEE AN ACE HEADCANON#BUT VERY RARELY DO I SEE ARO HEADCANONS#SOBBING#stiff talk#my favorite thing is thinking about how many characters i see as aromantic but then i go to the fandom tag or to that characters tag and#everyone is shipping them and theres like 2 posts total about that character being ace and 1 post about them being aroace#man im just a bit sad about all this dont mind me#yea yea i know the whole “if you wanna see something make it yourself” thing but see heres the thing: im tired#i just wanna be able to go through a tag and see people share similar ideas and headcanons without me having to make all the work myself#and i bet theres plenty other people who feel the same#and even if there is a character thats like. somewhat aroace coded in some way people still find a way to go “but then they fall in love”#and like yea have fun or whatever but i just idk it just feels very lonely sometimes yknow#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much#cuz now that im older and know that IM aspec its like. oh. i wanna see more characters like me! but theres like basically none#SORRY FOR THE RANT LMFAO#ignore this im just feeling silly
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cooked too hard talking about how fun transfem asriel could be so im taking a rare moment to post it to the tumblr followers lol
image id under cut!
[Image Description: A discord screenshot. The text reads as follows:
something i think a lot about for deltarune SPECIFICALLY is how societal expectations, narrative roles, hierarchial positionings, and the metanarrative interactions by the player are all often rolled together and depicted overwhelmingly as a shackle for its characters
even seemingly positive ones like "smart kid" "prince of the darkness" or "nice girl in town" are ideas that constrain the people they're placed upon
in that context, i cannot IMAGINE asriel having a positive relationship with his role as idolized golden child in deltarune
I don't think he wears it well. this isn't the sort of story where people can wear that kind of overwhelming weight well
especially considering how asriel is the offscreen apex of all of those conditions I mentioned. both in universe and out, his mere existence is charged with this gigantic significance
so yeah, I think theres no way asriel makes it out of this as "pure uncomplicated good golden boy who everyone loves." something has to crack somewhere and i think one of those cracks could be asriels fucking egg LMAO. Estrogen Will Save Her
End ID]
#i dont use this acct a ton but perhaps the mutuals will enjoy seeing it anyway...#i do talk a lot abt deltarune on discord still! it just rarely makes its way over to this site
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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did a little sketch yesterday that i really liked and tried to get it done today just so i got literally anything to post- but i fell into the trap of 'making sketches to elaborate and thus really stiff and non fun' (for me), ... soooooo .. im redoing the whole thing
but the idea was a mummy ganondorf for my (yes still existing) totk rewrite; i wanted to make him more scary looking and also emphasize just how horrid it must be to be kept in between life and death by having your heart grabbed by a cold and vengeful magical hand for thousands of years (in this case the ancient queen .. which i also tried to sketch despite not showing up aside from her dissolving hand)
the spell starting to fail and his body being more damaged in some parts (jaw being only the bones left for example) and his chest open from being slowly eaten up by the queens magic, the ribs contorting around it like its a gravitational pull- sounds cooler than it looks bc this sketch did not work out, so im saving the details for the .. hopefully, better version
#ganondoodles#art#tloz#ganondorf#posting it mainly ... to have something to post#and bc i think i remember someone telling me they like that i soemtimes post 'failed' sketches or paintings that i wont go back to#anyway ... this is one of them ...... felt rly pressured bc the weekends already over again and i dont want to work ......#was probably doomed from the start- detailed sketches rarely work out ofr me lol#anyway- also havent decided yet if i want him to have a heart still ... or if it too was dissolved by her magic#and you can still hear his heartbeat even though there is nothing in his chest#or maybe only like ... a spirit .. non physical heart ....#or its 'just' made of malice#.... or he doesnt have it at the very start and then at the mid fight he rebuild it somewhat#and for the end you find him in a tangled mess of pulsing roots like those that were in canon totk (but didnt mean shit i guess)#bc hes literally taking the life of the land to be as strong as he could possibly be#but like ... cool#i also have plans for a “demon” version and the good old boar#three phases and none is a cinematic thing#he will be a dark souls boss and you are way too low level ... i can do whatever i want in this rewrite you cant stop me!!#'kids have to play this gam-' no they dont this is in my head forever!!! no one is playing it but me!!
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"it's the tradition", feat. viktor.
summary: it's christmas in runeterra and couples are sharing kisses under the mistletoe.
word count: 1.000. (yes! exactly 1k im happy with it :]
content warning: just fluff as always! :DD (written with s1 viktor in mind!!!
author notes: ITS 5AM AND IVE WRITTEN 2 FICS IN A DAY, maybe im going to die but fuck it we ball. love viktor and love xmas, i wish i could use sweaters but in brazil december is sooo hot but yeah, here it is a lil something for the holidays. hope u like it!! :)))
whenever some holiday approaches, piltover academy is adorned in it's colour by students. it's december and the halls are decorated with reds and greens all the way, bringing joy to those who look up and see the fairy lights blinking slowly to them. christmas is coming, and so is winter.
everyone is using their thickest coats, but there's still some people who are cold, even if they are holding hot drinks to warm up both their hands and their body, or if they are rubbing their arms, creating some friction that could maybe help it, or sharing kisses under the mistletoe meticulously placed on the tree near the entrance of the academy, which have all kind of things hanging on it. some letters addressed to santa, little brilliant baubles made in all type of materials you could think of, red bows and colorful lights, all made by it's students.
you wanted to spend your day like this, enjoying over your partner's warmth under the mistletoe. well, life isn't fair. he was already working and you needed to work too, but maybe you could bring him some sweet milk and cookies on your lunch break, right?
so once the clock hitted midday, you walked to the cafeteria, the same one you and viktor got out on your first date, and ordered enough cookies for both of you. the women on the other side of the counter packed them to you, putting the little bag on your right hand, while you carried the cup of sweet milk on the other. finally, you got out, hands full, hoping that you could bring him some of the christmas spirit when leaving those in the lab.
when you made it to the academy again, it was even more crowded than earlier, students going in and out, chatting and joking around, throwing snowballs at each other and playing in the snow. and again, the couples kissing under the mistletoe. and all you could think of was him. oh, how you missed his kisses. so you hurried up, the flashy holiday themed colors in the halls blending together in an indistinguishable blur.
once you reached his lab, you knocked on the door, anxiously waiting for an answer. you could feel how your heart thumped against your ribs, maybe it's the nervousness or just because you runned all the way to come here in time. “come in,” was all you could hear from inside.
you turned the door knob, pushing it so you could enter the lab. he was hunched over his desk, but once he looked past his shoulder, realizing you were the one who got in, his golden eyes immediately lighted up, just like the fairy lights, but shined even brighter when he seemed the baked goods you carried, then turning again to his work, “just wait a bit, i will finish this, ehh- hopefully soon.”
you came from behind him, leaving both the bag and the cup over his desk, “i know these are your favorites,” you put your hand on his shoulder, “and it's my break now, but soon i need to get back to work,” his hand stopped, no longer making calculations. he looked up at you, then at the papers in front of him, thinking if he should or not give in.
sighing, he let the pencil over the papers. you knew he would keep working if you didn't say it. “i guess i could give myself a break, then,” the corners of his mouth quirking up while he reached for the bag, opening it and letting the smell of the cookies bathe the place, bringing coziness alongside it. he shoved his hand on the bag, picking one up and biting onto it, humming softly when it melted on his tongue, then bringing the almost half cookie to your lips, only to put away and eat it himself.
he was laughing loudly, keeping a hand over his mouth, to prevent any crumbs from coming out. “you ain't fair,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. you knew he was just joking, but you wanted to eat too, “i brought those so we both could eat. together!”
“i know, i know!”, he said, getting the cup of sweet milk and taking a sip of it, “but it's fun to tease you. can't help it,” he shrugged, looking at your pouty expression turning into one of anger. picking another cookie, he proceeded to feed you first, your frown immediately disappearing. he was trying to not laugh again, but he couldn't contain it, as he did so, soon the frown came back to your face.
“stop making fun of me and let me eat, for jannas's sake,” you also couldn't keep your smile from growing, it was such a good atmosphere that, even if you were mad at him for stealing your cookie and laughing at you, you couldn't be mad for longer than thirty seconds.
you were laughing with him, happy with how your lunch was going, eating and talking, so busy with everything that you didn't see him fidgeting, looking for something inside his jacket pocket. once there was no more food nor milk, he cleaned his hands, bringing one over you both, holding something up. a mistletoe.
you scoffed, running your hand over your face, “really, viktor?”, you were astonished, he truly got one of those just he could have an excuse to kiss you?
“well, it's the tradition, isn't it?”, he grinned, placing his free hand on your waist, bringing you closer, “any person who's under the mistletoe must kiss, it's correct?”
“yes, absolutely correct,” you put both hands on each side of his face, kissing his lips softly, tasting the sugar on his mouth. “but you taste like milk and cookies,” you kissed him again, just to make sure you got it right, “maybe next year i will bring you more of these, so we could kiss under the mistletoe again.”
“oh, christmas may be my favorite holiday now.”
#—swe writes#arcane x reader#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#ok! im sleep deprived but oh well i finished it before the end of christmas :D#it's 5am i want to sleep so bad oh gods#but i will prob still play some league before actuality going to bed hehe#originally i thought abt making hot chocolate with vik#but i love so much the mistletoe tradition to just not write it#and he is so.#arrrgh love him love him#oh and its rare that i happened to write 2 things in the same day#it was only bcs i promised i would make smth for steb and for christmas too#but couldn't write an xmas fic if i was already working on the steb one#so i started and finished both on the same say :)#im going to die oh well oh fu k#but whatever!! life is an amazing experience and im living it fully ((not sleeping properly ;)
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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The way Mulder says "and my report will reflect that, in case you're worried." to Scully in 7x7 makes my brain fuzz out. Like it's so obvious. Like how could she be scared about that. Like 'of COURSE I'm going to lie on an official FBI document about you killing someone in order to protect you, silly. Don't even worry abt it.'
And her reaction is perfect too because she almost looks like she wants to chide him, tell him that that's against policy (and probably a crime??) and it's not the right thing to do. But she knows she would do the same thing for him and that she has before. So who is she to talk?
#side note#the episodes where scully believes something and mulder doesnt are#SO GOOD#because hes so much more gentle with her than she ever is with him#because he understands how rarely she puts out an unexplainable theory and how vulnerable she feels while doing it#to him its second nature#but to her its still scary#and he takes great care to make sure she never feels like hes making fun of her or dismissing her#the x files#x files#mulder and scully#fox mulder#dana scully#msr
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nikolai hunting ghost down whenever they're on the same base and plucking him from whatever duties he has to whisk him away somewhere private. he has no authority, nothing more than his reputation as a rogue pilot with a few screws loose, but the way he fearlessly manhandles the ghost has people ducking out of his way anyway
behind a locked door, he offers ghost the choice of either curling up at his feet or sitting pliant in his lap, his full weight against him with his head lax on his shoulder; warm, comfortable, boneless
he then tucks his mask up above his lips and plies him with fruit and sweets; things he'd never buy for himself, indulgences he’d never entertain, wasted on a hollow shell like him
but nikolai? oh, he knows how much he deserves them; these precious moments of peace where the only thing ghost exists for is the next delicious bite
he feeds them to him one by one; thumbing strawberry juice and powdered sugar from his lips, humming in pure pleasure as he sucks it away, and smiles at ghost’s involuntary shivers when he feeds him his favourites. ghost doesn't even know what most of the sweets even are; what they’re made of or even what country nikolai buys them from. he just knows he loves them; loves the chase of nikolai’s fingers on his tongue after each one even more
nikolai always brings plenty for him, always draws it out, wanting these rare breaths of contentment to last for ghost’s sake as much as his own; offering plump bites of tart, homemade treats, letting rich chocolate melt between his fingers so it's soft in his mouth and watches his eyes flutter shut as he savours it
decadence incarnate; slow taught and hard won
ghost licks the dregs from his fingers and suckles them long after they're clean; the thought of an empty mouth so wrong to his sweet-clouded mind. nikolai coos in russian down at him, brushing his fingers through his hair as he holds him close, but he's too far away to take in any of it; the only thing holding him in the present the sugared fingers held gently in his mouth
after all, nikolai's always been his favourite sweet
#been thinking about nikolai hand feeding ghost to cope#do i hate turkish delight? yes#however i do think its something ghost would enjoy#i just imagine nikolai making a layover in between ferrying soldiers to pick up a bag of it from some 150 yr old store#that still makes it the same way they first did traditionally#and bringing it back just to hand feed it to ghost#i think hed like strong flavours#he gives me licorice vibes#what do we think of nikghost over here is it a vibe#bc im very not normal about them on twt#also niksoap#i just need nikolai to soft dom the entire 141 and force them into looking after themselves#its what they deserve#mr ‘we broke into a country and have limited supplies and options but still made sure to get price his favourite gun and bullets’ nikolai#i also have a tiddy sucking thread i can bring over if this hits#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#nikghost#nikolaighost#nikolai/ghost#nikolai x ghost#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#rarepair#save post#rare pair
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