#and I've only thought about it extensively for two of them
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Realized I've never really provided context for this? Or I may have lmao. Anywho found the context to this doodle in my notes app and may as well post it hehe
The drabble and au by extension take place after a video from nearly a year ago at this point. I'm not at all caught up to the current events. There are some mentions of things that make no real sense show-wise but they are connected to a one-shot I had written for this au, sort of a prequel-ish thing before everything went to shitz. No real need to read it, but it provides some more context to why Solare is going off at Wamoon here. The fic if anyone's interested.
Anyway without further ado, le â¨contextâ¨
"Are you sure the exit's this way?"
"As sure as any other of the dozen times you've asked, I'm losing more and more hope of ever getting out with each time you ask me, Moon."
"Right, right."
The two trapped attendants round yet another of the labyrinth's corners. Each turn and twist of the path diminishing their spirits more.
Moon batted at the watery end of his nightcap. "I just hope that when we get out it won't be to find out Ruin's crazy face leering down at us."
Solar's shoulders stiffened at the mention of Ruin. They were the one reason they were even trapped in here. Though he can't really blame them. They couldn't have known their rescue mission would turn into such a disaster. He really hoped they were okay.
"I hope they're okay."
"Who? Sun and the others back home?" Moon tilted himself, manhandling his watery nightcap. It got too close to brushing Solar again.
The firey attendant peered around a corner. "Those too, but I was more so thinking of Ruin."
Moon swatted at Solar's gloved hand. "Psssh. Why him? If I'm being real with you, I don't trust 'em farther than I can throw 'em. Which..." he considered, "is rather far." Moon shock his head as if to shake the wrongly used expression away. "What I mean is, I don't trust him. Don't you see how suspicious it is that Eclipse comes back shortly AFTER you're knocked out. The only person there to witness the whole thing didn't see anyone and was SITTING with you for an hour waiting for you to wake up? Ruin's been there with you unconscious long enough to copy over your files to use to make Eclipse."
The exit/entrance was down a darkened hall. Hopefully no... lurkers would jump them before they can get to it. It's all been rather peaceful thus far.
Solar turned around to look Moon in the eye. He shook the hand Moon batted at previously. The leather helps with avoding any pain reactions, though it does still leave a slight sting. "No, no I don't."
Moon sputtered. "Wha- wh- you can't be serious. Did he brain wash you while he had you knocked out as well?" He adds on in a mutter. "I'll have to check your systems for any out of place protocols..."
"No, no THEY didn't. Don't think I can't hear you, you will be doing no such thing." Solar was trying to hold back from raising his voice. Moon's been going on and on about Ruin betraying them. He's been TRYING not to snap, keep his promise to Ruin. He really was. And he'd been doing a stellar job at it. As seen in the lunar bot openly doubting said merged AI.
He'd had enough. He'd had enough of this. "It's them, not him. For one."
Moon's vocalizer stuttered, getting a retort ready. Solar shushed him before he could even think of opening his mouth. "No, no no shut UP for once and let me talk." Solar ran his hands over his face. "You are SUCH a hypocrite, you know? You have no proof of them working on something behind your back, but EVERY proof of them just trying to reach out and help. Yet you turn them down or send them away at EVERY TURN. Do you know what happened on Christmas Day? Why I left?"
"I just thought you w-"
"No, no let me FINISH!" The flames around Solar's head flared up. "I went up there, because I saw Ruin watching us from the balcony. You know, at first I thought they were spying on us to gain some form of information out of it, as you kept on hammering in my head at EVERY chance you got! No, no that wasn't why they were there. You wanna know WHY?"
"Why was he th-"
"THEY were there because THEY were LONELY, Moon! They came to the Daycare to help YOU with clean up." Solar jabbed a finger into Moon's chest. "And you wanna know the best part? The COMPUTER ITSELF told them where we were! Would it do that with someone who has bad intentions? NO! NO IT WOULDN'T!"
Moon glared at Solar through the rim of his hat. "That DOESN'T prove anything, Solar! They could have even the computer fooled!"
"Ooohoho, doesn't it? If I'm going by your oh so SOUND logic. Then by all means, I would be in the right to assume you're not some new guy, with no knowledge of past events. But just the Old Moon pretending to have gone through a memory wipe! Taking enjoyment in making everyone fumble to keep him in the loop of things when they're all in deep SHIT! Taking the chance to throw all his misdeeds into some personality he calls the Old Moon."
Solar took a step back. "No, no, what you did. Was throw a person clearly struggling to come to terms with the situation they suddenly found themself in to the wolves. The first chance you got, you threw them under the bus. Discarded them like an unwanted TOY. And then you're SURPRISED when they distance themself when they clearly see they aren't wanted..."
Solar turned around, back towards the next exit. He took in an artificial breath. "I hope you're proud of yourself."
Solar didn't look back. The automatic door activated by his elemental signature to let him through. He had his fists tightly clenched, shivering in barely held restraint. He waded through a pool of lava. If he looked at Moon's face any longer, he's sure he would've done something he'd regret.
Moon stood in the empty corridor. Speechless. Thoughts running through his mind so fast he couldn't focus on a single string of thought. Was... was Solar right?
Some future stuff for the au
â¨No contextâ¨
#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams au#tsams new moon#tsams solar#wamoon#solare#fireboy and watergirl au#ray's writing#i feel like I may just MAY have another drabble for this au somewhere. vaguely remember having more haha#man looking through my old notes really brought these two back. i forgot about my babies existence qwq#reblog
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Love your Edenâs Garden analyses my dude. Seriously, youâve tackled aspects of certain characters I hadnât even considered. I agree about Eloise being one of the blackened, girl is hiding nerves of steel behind a thin layer of shyness. I also think sheâs gonna be connected to Desmond as the thing he guards and trusts the most (in reference to what was described in his blackmail). Upon further analysis, Desmond strikes me as someone who wants people to trust him, but has issues trusting others, outside of maybe Eloise. In a nutshell, he wants people to trust him without him putting his trust in other people. Thatâs his hypocrisy, in my mind at least.
Iâm also gonna keep an eye on Grace in the chapter(s) going forward, in addition to Diana and Kai. Her silence after Evaâs execution speaks volumes. Mayhaps sheâll be going through a character arc? I feel like even SHE thought that execution was way too cruel.
On to my questions though! Out of curiosity, with what youâve said about studentsâ deaths being linked to their hypocrisies, who do you think is the least hypocritical in the cast? By extension, who do you think is most likely to survive and/or die, at least within the next chapter or two?
Thanks so much lol I'm glad people ave enjoyed my thoughts so far and I've loved hearing everyone else's opinions and theories as well this whole week!
As to answer your question, I've got to say I think the "least" Hypocritical student so far is actually a controversial opinion of mine since I've noticed lots of people don't like his character T_T
It's Kai Monteago. (Note: I have NOT done everyone's FTE's yet but I'm gonna watch each one for this update soon!)
Now, this does not mean I don't think Kai lies or is a hypocrite, just that I think out of everyone on the cast so far he's the one who's the most honest about how he actually feels.
If Wolfgang is the most Hypocritical person because he hides everything he's feeling and doesn't let anyone know what he's actually thinking, then I think Kai is the least hypocritical out of the student body (minus Damon & Diana bc I think they're both being set up obviously as the protag and antag) because he's so honest about everything about himself and doesn't actually feel the need to hide his own insecurities, worries, fears, and anxieties.
Whenever anything goes remotely bad, Kai is always the first out of the cast to admit he didn't actually trust anyone, he's also the only one who's outwardly always wary of others and nervous. He just doesn't like thinking about the potential for someone murdering him or someone winding up dead. But it's pretty clear just from how he acts in his FTE's, trial, and body discovery that he not only doesn't trust anyone there but that he's not afraid to admit that openly when shit hits the fan.
For Kai, it seems like he's fully aware of the situation and thus knows that just agreeing with whatever the rest of the cast is talking about will keep him safe. He obviously is still a bit of a hypocrite because he's judging the ones who openly admit to not trusting other people, but he's also the first of the cast to always admit he had reservations about trusting them to begin with.
In a way, I can't exactly say Kai is a bad person because of his hypocrisy. He's only been an Ultimate for like 1-2 years, which is way less time than most of the student body. All of this is very new to him, he reminds me of Makoto in that sense where he was someone who would've never thought they'd be an Ultimate, or someone who became one by chance. Even the story he shares of how he became The Ultimate Influencer makes me believe that it really was just dumb luck that he got his title.
And he's only really falling in line because he obviously sees the way everyone treats you when you don't agree with the majority opinion, even if that majority opinion is rooted in rationality. In a way, it makes sense that Kai would act this way because he's an Influencer and has to deal with widespread groupthink about himself daily lol Any small action he did in the outside world was scrutinized and judged by an invisible audience, so now when he's in a situation like this he just goes with whatever will make the most people like him.
Though I can definitely see Kai breaking out of that kind of mindset the more he becomes friends with other people, and now that Wolfgang is gone, I definitely think the rest of them will act more freely instead of looking towards a leader of sorts. This is also why I think Kai will be the "support" character for Damon that we thought Eva would be. Kai is the one person left now who's wholly honest about himself, meaning he and Damon can become friends quicker that way and potentially work on investigations.
Also the two of them have very similar talents in the sense that "anyone could do this". But their ideas about their talents are swapped. Someone mentioned earlier that they think Damon might hate being a Debater or that he has some kind of insecurity rooted in the fact that he's a Debater. And I kind of agree. Where as Kai is wholly proud of his title as the Ultimate Influencer, Damon is very insecure about being seen as the Ultimate Debater and makes up for it with a big ego.
He doesn't let anyone look down on him for being an internet personality, and doesn't let lies about his past or things people wouldn't know about anyways (like the scandal he mentions in his FTE) get to him. But Damon flounders when someone even remotely challenges the idea of his talent being "useless" to society. In truth, the both of them are like foils and will probably be paired more often especially since they share a room together.
#This is not to say that Kai doesn't or never worked hard or whatever#but the story for FTE reminds me of the youtubers who made a video one day that just went viral lol#p:eg#kai monteago#project eden's garden#damon maitsu#manifesting Kai Support but its just my kaimon rotted brain speaking#p:eg chapter 1#kai also has experience with people blatantly lying about him and or making things up about him#so I think that makes him inherently distrusting of others right out the gate#but also a secretive person by nature like he obviously hides things about himself bc of his experience as an influencer#and not because he has some dark shadowy past lol#p:eg spoilers#wolfgang akire
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Hi! Ask Box is open to gather opinions and ideas about this specifically. I've mentioned several months ago that I'm interested in starting a Wordpress blog to focus a folklore topic: oni.
The reasons are two-fold:
1. It's for those of you here, on this blog, who love learning about Japanese folklore (and by extension, history). I've haven't gone into oni legends and origins and analysis and random interesting stories much because I see the oni in KnY as something inspired by, but an entirely different, KnY-specific entity separate from the wider "oni" concept.
2. It's for people who I encounter professionally, so I can point them to how I've always liked researching and writing about nerdy topics (and not send them here. This blog is my fangirl outlet, it ain't going anywhere). Plus, it'd be cool to publish a book someday. I've collected enough random knowledge about oni that I could probably do it, and writing a blog is a step toward that.
To build a blog, it needs a name, though. Since you guys are a target audience, I'd like to consult with you, so I've put some ideas up there.
Some thoughts:
I like the "Oni! Oni! Oni!" title, because you don't know if it's cheering or terrified screaming. But then I remembered there's a WW2 movie with a similar 'tora' name and even though the origins of oni are often political and involved dehumanization, as mankind is prone to do in any day and age, I'd prefer to avoid this blog being associated with politics.
An "Oni N__ I__" acronym would be clever if only I could cleverly fill it.
"Have you read that oni blog? You know, that oni blog" would be a fun way to build a brand of sorts, if, sadly, publishing requires you to build a brand.
Anyway, help me
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I've got a weird habit in recent times where whenever I play an open world game, eventually I just start wandering around the map thinking "if the Clans in Warriors lived here, how would the territories be divided up? where would their camps be? where would they hold gatherings and commune with their ancestors?" and thinking about this in a fantasy-esque game lately has really made me long for a version of Warriors that does take place in a weirder, more fantastical world. obviously not to say there's anything wrong with the canon setting, but it is certainly a fun AU to ponder.
#great news for no one but myself: i figured out perfect camps and territories for all five clans in the game I'm playing :)#in the newest section of the map anyway. not the full map that thing is way too big lol#also i say ''whenever i play an open world game'' but i think I've only done this with three games#and I've only thought about it extensively for two of them#anyway it's just a fun little activity when I've been playing for quite a while and I'm winding down and getting ready to turn it off#sometimes it's just fun and relaxing to wander around in a game and think about the landscape#and warriors has had such a chokehold on me for so many years that it's bound to enter my thoughts#pigeon mews
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Can I request a Spencer babying the reader BAU and everyone on the team is so done with it but reader is confused and oblivious...?
A/N: Thank you for your request! I've been very much feeling post-Prison/ later seasons Spencer recently, so I hope you enjoy this fic!
Warnings: mostly fluff, implied age-gap, slight mentor/mentee dynamic.
Your first year in the BAU would've been tough had it not been for Doctor Spencer Reid.
It was tough still, but without him, you don't think you'd have been able to handle much of it. He'd been your mentor through each case, taking you under his wing when he wasn't on academic leave, teaching his criminology courses at the FBI Academy.
Those weeks were the hardest, and you found yourself moping about in the office, texting him once or twice a trip for advice.
On one particularly hard case, he'd come back into the office after you'd text. Not to consult on the case, but just to drop you off a chamomile tea and a pastry to brighten your day that little bit.
When he was back, your days were great. He knew so much, and you learnt so much from him so quickly, eagerly consuming his every word. You were so eager to please him that you often forgot others around the two of you.
âSpencer, if you're done fawning after Y/N we have a case to work on,â Emily gently chastised the man as he pulled out your chair for you, ready to sit down to hear the details of your next crime.
âOh, Emily, thank you, but it's okay. Doctor Reid was just being considerate, I'm sure he'd have done it for anyone.â The shared glances around the room were filled with glib secrecy, but no-one commented further, leaving you slightly baffled.
Those shared looks between the other members of your team had become more common as of late, with each one more worrisome than the next. There was something unsettling about being the only one out of the loop, and as the newest member of the team, and the youngest, it often felt disheartening.
âY/N, don't worry. Being the youngest member of any team is tough, but you're smart and you're holding your own.â With a pat to your head he walked away, lifting the weight off your shoulders slightly but not fully. You needed to get to the bottom of the BAU's non-verbal communications, and you needed answers.
Your first technique was interrogation. Surely one of them would break and tell you if you laid out your thoughts and feelings clearly.
Surely not, you found, as each member casually and softly blew you off.
âY/N, you just need to think carefully about how certain members of the team act towards you. How familiar they are. How overly familiar they are.â Tara had at least told you that much, bit it had left you just as confused as the radio silence from the others.
âEveryone has behaved very professionally with me. You've all been very welcoming up to this point, which I appreciate greatly.â
âI wouldn't count gifting you flowers for your first successful case as the most professional act, Y/N,â she said as she sipped her coffee. âBut I suppose that is just up to interpretation.
Doctor Reid had sent you flowers after you finished your first case. But there had been extenuating circumstances in that case. You'd both worked on the geographical profile on that case, and together had figured out the species of flower the unsub was using was only cultivated on one local flower orchard. It had cracked the case open and you'd found your unsub hours later.
So the flowers were an extension of that small joint success. That was all.
Your second attempt at figuring out what was going on was observation.
Partially taking Taraâs advice, you tried your best to track the moments when each of the weary looks would come your way.
Overwhelmingly, they seemed to be directed towards Doctor Reid whenever the two of you interacted.
You had to gently inform him of this, before it interrupted both of your abilities to work.
âDoctor Reid, do you know why Emily and Rossi are both currently watching us from between the blinds in their offices?â You whispered to the man, leaning in close to his ear. You were quite sure he didn't know, but a question seemed as good a way as any to broach the topic.
âI do, yes. It's best if you ignore them.â
His nonchalance in the matter shocked you, so sure you were that this would be news to him. You waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't.
âWhy are they staring at us?â You finally managed to force the words out in a small squeak, forcing his eyes back to yours.
âDon't worry about it for now, I'll handle it.â He smiled down as you, and the bright gesture washed away more of the tension you'd been feeling in the office. You smiled back at him as he rose from his desk chair and carried himself to the stairs. You giggled when he winked down at you, just as you noticed Emily frantically hurrying away from her office window as Spencer knocked on her door.
As much as he told you to not worry about it all though, you really couldn't help yourself. You found yourself growing more clumsy under the watchful eyes of your entire team, galling more times than you'd care to admit into Doctor Reid's arms. He always caught you, though, and you were thankful you never did yourself serious injury.
You finally got the answers you'd craved out on a case about a month into your struggles.
There was something slightly unsettling about the way the female Sheriff was paying attention to Doctor Reid, and it made you uncomfortable. Your mouth ran dry when she touched his arm, but a small part of you warmed up again when he shrugged her off. Until, at least, you heard him explain why.
âI'm sorry, I'm a germophobe, so I'd really prefer you not touch me.â His voice was calm and steady; it really didn't seem like he was lying.
âYou're not pulling my leg? I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but-â
âWhy would I pull your leg, I said I don't like physical touch?â
âWell, there was that young girl earlier, Y/N was it? You had your hand on her back as you walked in, so I didn't thinkâŚâ
The woman had made a good point, and you crept closer to the edge of the door to hear Doctor Reid - Spencer's response.
âSheriff, if we're done here, do you think I could get back to my job?â You were almost disappointed in the change of topic, but you weren't all that sad to see the Sheriff remove herself from the room. Slipping in behind her you decided to test the new theory that had slipped into your mind in the last minutes.
You called out to him to grab his attention as you walked into the room but before he had the chance to turn and greet you, you threw your arms around his shoulders and pressed your body down against his, enveloping him in a back hug.
It was quite possibly the most familiar position you'd been in with him, but really it wasn't all that different from your usual proximity.
Unlike when the Sheriff casually brushed against him, he didn't stiffen, didn't pull away, but instead melted into your touch, looking up at you with a large grin.
You stood shocked for a minute before grinning back.
âSpencer, I think I know why everyone has been watching us for the last few weeks.â You said, causing his eyes to panic slightly as he acknowledged your words.
âThe, uh, the Sheriff was just in here talking about a development either some of the DNA test results-â He desperately tried to change the subject, but you were locked in now, spinning his chair around to face you more as you came eye-to-eye with him.
âI know why the Sheriff was in here, Spencer, I heard it all.â
âIt's not what you think,â you paused for a moment as your brow furrowed, trying to figure out if you'd somehow caught the wrong end of the stick.
âSo our coworkers haven't been waiting for you to ask me out, having noticed large changes in your body language and attitude around me?â
âIt'sâŚ.exactly as you think.â His face was flushed with pink and your heart skipped a beat at the man in front of you. But you still had some questions.
âAnd you knew, but you didn't say anything to me despite the fact that I bought it up multiple times?â
âI'mâŚI'm not good with words," he frowned
âAre you good with dates?â
âExcuse me?â
âYou're going to take me on a date when we get back to Quantico. After giving it some thought, Doctor Reid, it seems I've become quite enamoured of you.â You dropped into his lap then, sitting there like a cat pleased to take up residence on its owners legs. He stuttered for a few seconds but then found his voice again, face lighting up.
âSpencer. Please, Y/N, call me Spencer.â
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#mgg#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n
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Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.
At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little
You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)
Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right
So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?
Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)
Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)
Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass
Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)
My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?
Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO
So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.
Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.
Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))
But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...
Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.
But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.
But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)
Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.
The only question is, how would Robin take that?
Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good
So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.
Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.
And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.
What's she going to do?
EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Nico Robin#THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME#I'm sure someone's written this already right#Right#Surely this fanfic already exists#Please tell me it exists#I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU#Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar#Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat.#Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself#If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful#Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo.#(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right)#(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good)#Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public#If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh#Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too''#''đŚ.../Humans/ can't do that normally either''#''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment''#I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while#And I'm Extremely Normal about that
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âł you're my achilles heel
summary ⯠niche microtropes w/ the hsr men! emphasis on the micro (not rlly)
includes ⯠dan heng, aventurine & jing yuan
tana talks ⯠who's missed me? i've been gone for a HOT minute, and what other way to come back than kickstarting my 1k event: niche microtropes! more info about that will be here. thank you so so much for 1k!!!!
dan heng
when they both have to share a bed and one of them reveals it was the best night of sleep they've ever had
⯠dan heng has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and letting march choose hotel rooms has to be one of them.
⯠granted, he truly thought that march would do a good job at choosing the hotel, financial planning, and of courseâchoosing the rooms.
⯠and everything was great. until you and dan heng had to share a bed.
you and dan heng shifted around the bed a few times before finally settling into designated spots. it was decided that dan heng would sleep on the outside, while you slept near the wall. his back faced you as he tucked himself into bed.
⯠you and dan heng were friends. this awkwardness wasn't normal, and there should be no reason for the two of you to be avoiding each other like you are now. alas, here you are now, laying at least a foot apart.
⯠the room is completely silent, and a bit cold as well. dan heng felt a breeze constantly grazing his shoulders. yeah. there was no way he could sleep like this
⯠you, on the other hand, felt too hot. you had most of the blankets on your side and you felt SUFFOCATED. sometimes, it felt hard to breathe. but u weren't sure if that was just nerves or bc of how hot you felt.
⯠ultimately, you are the one who has to make the first move.
"dan heng," you turned around and whispered, "are you cold?"
⯠obviously, he was cold. but was he going to say anything about it?? no.
"i'm fine," he said, still facing his back towards you. "are you cold?" you gulped at the dry response. usually, you find yourself always wanting to talk to dan heng. he was never a boring converser, so why was he acting so strange tonight? but then again, you had no room to talkâyou haven't said a word to dan heng until now.
⯠at this point, you're a little frustrated at the lack of communication between the both of you. soâbeing the problem solver that you areâyou decide to do something about it
slowly, you inch closer to dan hengâjust to test the waters, of course. dan heng doesn't reach much, only a small head turn once he feels a dip in the mattress. you take some of the blanket and throw it over dan heng, awaiting his response.
⯠meanwhile, dan heng over here is internally flipping out. when you inched towards him, dan heng could feel his heart skipping more than a few beats. and when you threw the blanket over him, dan heng wasn't sure if he felt warm due to the blanket or you.
⯠when he finally turns over, you have to hide your wide eyes and slacked mouth underneath the blanket. you peer back up, and he's staring right at you.
"are... you okay?" you whisper underneath the blanket. "i'm cold," is all dan heng says. you hide your smile underneath the blanket, but you have a feeling dan heng knows you're smiling anyway. he's looking straight in your eyes after all.
⯠and then you say it. you practically hit the pentagon.
you open up the blanket to where it reveals a dark silhouette of your body. "do you want to share?"
⯠dan heng practically malfunctions. usually, there are always things dan heng says to fill the silence. he never runs out of words. not in a talkative way like march, but rather, he has an extensive vocabulary
⯠this time though? haha. very funny. he's gone mute.
dan heng blinks at you while you hold the blanket open. you raise an eyebrow, taunting him. he squeezes his eyes shut, and then reopens them to find you still holding the blanket. was he halluncinating?
"i don't want to intrude." "oh please," you quietly laugh, "we're already sharing a bed. we crossed the line of intrusion a few hours ago."
⯠and that sounds like a good deal to the both of you. except, one thing.
"are things going to change after this?" dan heng asks you. you're glad it's dark, so dan heng doesn't see you flush, "i don't see why things would change," you say, maintaining a calm face.
⯠that's enough to get dan heng under the covers with you.
⯠you two sleep wonderfully the rest of the nightâyou two even woke up early too. you were the one to wake up first. the sun shone on your face, yet you didn't even feel the glare at all. you felt energized, which was weird considering that you went to bed at questionable hour last night.
⯠oh, and you also felt a pair of arms over your waist too. and something pressing into your neck. and something wrapping around your legs. and you also feel really hot. is that from the sun????
⯠yeah. it's going to be harder to keep your word.
aventurine
those dancing scenes where it just so happens that the lighting focuses on the two of you
⯠lavish parties and extravagant events werenât new to aventurine, who just so happened to stumble on one of the biggest on penacony
⯠sometimes, the families hold galas. itâs more of an exclusive thing, so aventurine had to do some awkward mingling in order to get in. that includes a very awkward conversation with a security guard, who kept raising eyebrows at his outfit.
⯠beforehand, he had no interest in going to this event. however, once faced with the possibility that he could gather intel, his mind quickly changed.
⯠now, he is standing right next to you, the heir to penacony's iris family. in his short time on the planet, he's seen your face countless times: on billboards, commercials, and next to various items. but seeing it in person?
⯠way. different.
"you've never been dancing before?" you lead the ipc executive, aventurine, down the halls of the iris family's ballroom. aventurine shakes his head as he follows you, "not once. though, as the iris family's biggest celebrity, i take it you're used to dances?" your eyes widen when you hear him utter the compliment, "i'm... i'm not sure i'm the biggest celebrity," you rub your neck sheepishly. you tilt your head back, "and i don't think i can remember a time where i didn't dance."
⯠aventurine has one goal tonight, and it's to get information about the families. if all goes according to plan, then he'd have the upper hand on penacony itself, thus being able to use his knowledge as a bargaining chip for the ipc.
⯠and if there's one thing aventurine is good at, it's bargains.
⯠so now, aventurine is trying his hardest to charm you into giving out any information. because people like you always talk.
"that must've been nice," aventurine eggs you on, "from what i can tell, parties on penacony are always fun." you let out a small laugh, "i'm glad you think that." the two of you walk side-by-side, and you aren't saying a single thing. aventurine flexes his hand by his side, preparing to make more idle chatter. he's about to open his mouth when a bright, shining light beams onto the both of you.
⯠from the look on your face, aventurine can tell that you did not like that. he stands there passively, awaiting for your next move.
⯠what he did not expect was for you to hold out your hand for him.
"um," you clear your throat. your eyes dart around the room and you gulp, holding out your hand, "may i have this dance?"
⯠aventurine meets your nervous eyes with his wide ones. it looks like the two of you have no other choice. eyes are on the both of you when aventurine takes your hand, and you pull him into a quiet space in the ballroom.
⯠let's get one thing straight: aventurine does not know how to dance.
⯠so currently, he's trying to avoid stepping on your toes, while trying to remain in sync with you. on the inside, aventurine is annoyed. there are ears everywhere, meaning that there's a bigger risk. however, aventurine is all about risks, and the night is still young.
"i thought you liked dances," aventurine purposefully whispers into your ear, and he can feel the heat rise up. his voice is sultry and sweet, and he hopes to get you addicted to it soon. you look up at him with crinkled eyes. the light is glaring on you, and it seems like you're glinting instead of shining. "i never said that." aventurine takes notice of the rise and fall of your chestâmuch faster than when the two of you met. the corner of his lip raises a little bit, "oh, i'm sorry. but are you uncomfortable? i thought you've been doing this for years? let me know if i can do anything to help?" he offers.
⯠you only smile, and aventurine gives you a polite smile back. he follows your lead, waiting for you to say something, but you only lead him around the ballroom.
⯠the light is still trailing after you, except it's beaming more on aventurine than you at this point.
⯠it's beaming more on aventurine. oh. he gets it now.
"do you wanna get out of here?" he whispers in your ear once again. he has to try his hardest to bite down the smirk that was about to appear on his face. this was going to be easier than he thought. you grab his hand in a tight hold, "no," you firmly state, "we're staying here."
⯠wow. what a shift of tone.
"i need your help," you mutter under your breath. "help me, and i'll do anything," you look up into his eyes, pleading with him through your gaze.
⯠aventurine nearly steps on your feet. what?
"uhâwhat?" aventurine questions you as you keep moving.
"sneak me out of here. we can't go through the doorsâthere's the bloodhound family everywhere. but i need you to get me out," you beseech. you grab his hand, bringing it up to your chest and slowly sliding it down to your waist.
⯠aventurine has to remind himself to keep his cool multiple times. breathe in, breathe out. what were you getting at here? why did you want to escape?
"listen, what i said earlier. about the parties. i need to get out," you spin yourself around and back into the blond. "help me," you connect your palms as you circle him, "and i'll help you," you intertwine your fingers together.
⯠the light still glistens over the both of you. and aventurine thinks two things: he's gotten into something he didn't need to get into, and that he finally has a way into the family.
jing yuan
second chance romance, except the two of you have been keeping tabs on one another the entire time.
⯠jing yuan's childhood is filled of fond memories: his old master, the bright and sunny days when he would train, and you.
⯠you, who jing yuan would willingly miss trainings for. you, the brilliant and clever reporter who broadcasted for the people. you, who jing yuan had to let go.
⯠he'd spend days rereading what you've wrote; whether it be small stories or big news on the luofu. everything you had written intoxicated him. however, all good things have to end eventually.
⯠the break-up wasn't even technically a break up, because you two weren't even together. the harsh reality was that you two were just friends, so jing yuan has no actual reason to be moping around. people lose friends all the time, and with jing yuan's lifestyle, it was bound to be imminent.
⯠as the general, jing yuan had new priorities, and it seems like you weren't one of them anymore.
⯠so, you move on with your career. you founded the xianzhou's very own broadcasting channel, which aired to the millions of citizens across all ships. you're a superstar who hasn't left their core values. rather than the big stories, you focus on local ones. you focus on the people.
⯠and general jing yuan... focuses on his job. sort of. not really.
⯠can you really say that a general is focused on his job when he goes missing?
"jing yuan," your side aches once you utter his name, and you suppress an agonized moan, "why are you here?"
⯠you know what they say, old habits die hard.
⯠the founder of the xianzhou's broadcasting channel was found in critical condition a few days ago. you had been reporting on the a civil case that had struck on one of the ships, andânext thing you knowâblood ran from your fingertips and you rushed into a critical care unit.
"how did you even get here?" you ask as you lift yourself up higher on the bed. jing yuan steps forward, but you move back. "i haven't spoken to you in years. you cut me off, and then you show up now? can i atleast get an explanation on how you found me?"
⯠jing yuan's silence tells you all that you need to know. you keep up with the dozing general, even if you are off the luofu. because still, even after all these years, your heart trails after him.
"i wanted to see you," jing yuan blurts. his voice is much more deeper than you remember it to be. "so i contacted the hospital and told them that my old friend was in critical condition, and i needed to see you." you scoff, "an old friend is a stretch." you pause and look down at your hands. and then, a thought furrows in your mind. "wait, if you knew where i was hospitalizedâyou read my articles?" "i've never stopped."
⯠oh. oh? oh????
⯠safe to say that you were rendered speechless. the next five minutes were spent by you staring at jing yuan, jaw-dropped and all.
"how long?" you asked. "too long," jing yuan dryly chuckles. "since i left."
⯠the air is thick, and things are obviously tense. and there are so many things to talk about. so many things to tell him. such as how you've surfed before (it was a big dream of yours). or how you finally adopted the cat you always wanted (you hope he brings up his lion).
⯠and while you sit there, you realize that you've missed this. how could you even live without this for hundreds of years? without him? was it surreal to feel so strongly about a person that left so long ago?
⯠so many milestones missed. so many to make up for. so many things to talk about. so many things to clear up. and you still want to do it all with jing yuan.
⯠does he still want to do it with you?
you clear your throat, attempting to sit up straighter. you're struggling, and you've never felt so embarrassed in your life. while trying to adjust yourself once more, you see a shadow appear above you, and it's the one and only jing yuan. "do you need help?" he asks, holding his arm out for you as support. you take it gladly, pulling yourself up by grabbing onto his (big) forearm. "thank you," you dust yourself off, checking your side for any rips in your stitches. "now," you begin, letting out a shaky breath, "i think... i think we're overdue for a chat."
⯠you knew jing yuan. you'd like to know him now. jing yuan knew you too, and nowâjudging by the look on his faceâhe'd like to know you too.
god i've missed the hc's so much. like i'm truly going back to my roots here. be honest did y'all miss the hc's too or was that just me????
#tana writes (â´ ᨠ`â)#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#hsr x reader#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#blade x you#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#CHAT WE ARE SO BACK#jing yuan my pining king you will always be famous even if you got power-crept
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catching fire dash simulator
finnicksgirl Follow
my streams have been cutting all season omfg what is going on
caps4finnick Follow
cinnagirl3000 Follow
anybody heard from cinna lately?
plutarcheology Follow
Plutarch Heavensbee circa 2282
revolutionarykatniss
As if itâs not ENOUGH that yall wanna fuck the most morally bankrupt man alive who is more than complicit because he gets paid to live in luxury to ORCHESTRATE the deaths of innocents so that theyâre a spectacle and donât have the option to die even semi peacefully. as if thatâs not enough. You wanna fuck him when heâs ugly?
caesarflickerwoman Follow
anyone else still thinking about how caesar and peeta were kinda ..
czrflckmn
Arenât you the one who had the week long meltdown about peeta being overfamiliar with him
caesarflickerwoman
Well you see Iâm gay and a man now
theeclove Follow
already tired of this fucking season of everlark -_- idgaf about the fucking fog
siblingvictors
DISTRICT ONE GONNA SEND THEM A CANCELLATION NOTICE!! #CASHMEREGLOSS4EVER
czrflkmn Follow
everyone looooooves to act like NOTABLE cishet peeta is so gay w caesar as if his gay cohost isn't right there.... slaying in a wig..... sending yearning glances caesar's way right before the camera cuts......
johannadykeson Follow
tbh sheâs got the WORST taste in allies idek why i continue to stan. girl MAGS?
#my girl going to get slorn :/
katnissgirlsmakedo
She is choosing with her HEART she chose to save peeta in the games REMEMBERRRRRRRR sheâs literally a lovergirl to the core
#lovecore #heartcore #truelove
lucygraydotcom Follow
Caesar flickerman kidn if a laughing gnome. Reblog
finnickforever Follow
Iâve supported finnick through a lot and defended them and Iâve always been proud they're from my district but honestly they went way too far by doing the salute during the interview. I can only hope that they just got caught up in the moment with everyone else doing it and obviously itâs a stressful situation but I donât think I can continue endorsing them. Iâll be changing my url this week.
divorceekatniss Follow
hey guys i know times are tough for everyone and the capital has really cracked down but my mutual @divorceepeeta got flogged the other day and could really use some help. v3nmo here. anything helps #signalboost #mockingjay
disabledmags Follow
Tbh the baby is the saddest thing I've ever heard </3
peetaspride
Another citizen falling for capital propaganda. It's so glaringly apparent that this is made up to draw in views. The tributes undergo extensive medical examination prior to the games. They would NEVER let a pregnant woman compete.
disabledmags
As if killing children has ever stopped them before?
#We all saw him fall to protect her stomach before they even started the victory tour #Is it that ridiculous to believe two newlyweds fresh out of a life or death situation would celebrate a little carelessly?
peetaspride
If you think even the marriage is real you're stupider than I thought. Peeta spends every interview begging us to see his truth. The capital is shamelessly silencing him and "the baby" is a distraction.
peetasbabymama Follow
URL CHANGE!! faggotpeeta->peetasbabymama
cupcakeeverlark
this isnt funny. peeta's a real person with real feelings. it will never be funny to call someone a f***** as a joke. how would you feel if my url was f*****peetasbabymama?
peetasbabymama
ok
district420
isnt cupcakeeverlark literally prez snow's 12 yr old granddaughter lol
tendinghiswounds
OOMF IS 12???????????
everlarklovechild
the age is the problem here?
marriedeverlark Follow
Canon url đđđ
đđĽ°âĽď¸
beeteemp3 Follow
New content of my favorite tribute đđđ
3ffietrinket
Girl thereâs a 96% chance they die ?
peenick Follow
getting reports from the presidential banquet that Peeta looks gay as fuck
3v3rlark Follow
ik peeniss has been flagging w the rehearsed speeches but did anyone else see the way they looked at each other in the censored district 11 speech
rues-song
youâre STUPID sheâs a capital pawn AND i fucked your mom while you were busy looking for illegal streams
senecacraneofficial Follow
rip seneca you were so babygirl </3
plutarchbaby69
so now you think we canât fuck old men?
#this fandom is so ageist #this is prob what I get for blogging about thg tbh since # itâs literally about kids. Some of you ppl need to grow up
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Time for another just woke up half baked thought
But like idk. If you think that the core, the root, the main signal or red flag, of TERF ideology is "man hating" then I think you need to seriously reevaluate how you're identifying transphobia
The core of TERF ideology is, and always will be, misogyny. It's about cutting down the abilities of women to reinforce a gender binary. It's about demolishing any semblance of any other right when that binary is threatened.
One consequence of this is fearing men, and othering them- but very crucially, in ways that reinforce their role in a patriarchal society. Saying that men are implicitly violent still works within their patriarchal role, and reinforces the idea that this role cannot be broken.
But this is one of many, many consequences.
It can seem like the transmisogyny of TERFs is a consequence of man hating, in a first pass. But that crumbles when you realize two things- one, TERFs are more than willing to forget any other issue of women's empowerment to prioritize hating trans people, and two, TERF ideology is more afraid of trans people than they are of cis men. It's why they're more concerned with trans people existing in women's bathrooms than they are about cis men walking in. Or any actual cases of SA or violence cis men commit. The implicitly violent role that men occupy in the TERF mind is seen as a fact of life that they accept, and don't fear. Trans people are seen as something that can be "fixed".
It's all because trans people encroach on the gender binary.
Tbh, when I see posts treating man hating as the premier TERF dog whistle, it feels like mid-2010s anti-feminism memes.
Like yeah you shouldn't go around hating men. Obviously. But is your only way of identifying transphobia when it's about cis men?
Btw, this isn't about interacting with a Tumblr post. This is about identifying transphobic rhetoric in the wils. I've occasionally reblogged TERFs cuz yeah, I reblog a lot of stuff on this site and don't like. Extensively research every tap of my fingers.
More what I'm asking you to do is to identify TERF ideas that have become normalized. I've seen a lot of trans people themselves fall for bioessentialist BS, internalize transphobic talking points, and parrot back sanitized, "acceptable" versions of TERF logic because they fail to identify a lot of real dog whistles. Is this exclusively bc of what I'm talking about? Obviously not, but I think there should be more emphasis placed on it.
Anyways rant over
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decided I want to share those thoughts actually. hello
literally all I said was that I think botw zelda is a summer baby
#me??? basing headcanons off of making the characters fit better with a song I've assigned them??? more likely than you think#no but I'm so fucking real for this and I've been thinking about it. zelda summer baby. and I've thought this before#it's just that this is the first time I've thought about it extensively but zelda is defo a summer baby#(although I would also accept spring for general rebirth imagery)#although also calling zelda summer baby a headcanon feels so silly for some reason like yeah babe duh there's no snow in those scenes#but ALSO you can't really use that as textual evidence cause there's no clear seasonal change at all in hyrule only biomes#like realistically I think hyrule DOES have seasons I'm not suggesting they don't but nintendo doesn't showcase that#(although all those intense climates so close together would probably introduce some crazy fucking weather patterns alskfkfs#wetlands two days horseback ride from a volcano)#the time of year when everything takes place is very ambiguous probably intentionally#so like. it IS a headcanon#loz#botw#zelda
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Thoughts about Striker being a "supremacist:"
On the surface, he's sort of a social class activist/ Robin Hood archetype. I think he truly thinks of himself this way. But when Blitz calls him a supremacist, who's he a supremacist against exactly? It's imps. This guy hates imps (and also identifies as one, even though he's clearly some sort of hybrid, which is interesting).
Let me show you what I mean. The short version is that he's the self-hating minority bigot trope, and it's executed really well.
"Blue Bloods"
"Disgusting, rich, pompous goetia"
"Some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you."
"You don't get to talk over me. . . all you ever do is try to talk over us."
"Once I split your neck open and let you choke on your own blue blood, you won't be worth any more than the tomb stone you'll be buried under."
So . . . first, he doesn't actually say a lot that's solely about royals, and ALL of the quotes above are about how royals look down on people like him, NOT about any inherent flaws that they have. They're about class, not race, unless you count "blue blood" as race. I don't. It's tied directly to money. "Disgusting" comes up in reference to Blitz's relationship with Stolas, but the words "rich" and "pompous" follow immediately. Striker hates royals because he hates that society places them above him.
Imps
"Pathetic."
"You little things aint worth the cleanup."
"Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one."
"Blitz, come on. You know the two of us are superior to most of our kind."
"I still think it's embarrassing. You're wasting a lot of potential relying on a weak little . . ."
"Vermin"
I think that this is where Striker's worldview comes into clearer focus. He thinks that Moxxie and Millie (and by extension MOST imps) are inferior to him. The word "vermin" is particularly telling. There's something visceral about his disgust for "lesser" imps.
I think Striker worries that they reflect who he really is. I think he truly believes that imps are inferior to higher class demons, and he fears that if he doesn't prove himself to be special (through violent dominance), he's vermin himself.
Notice how in the image below, his edge over Moxxie is all about size and physical strength- the things he implies throughout the episode make him the superior being. Look at that wide smile. He loves the feeling of being superior.
Relationships between imps and royals
"You are so above sucking on a disgusting rich pompous goetia . . ."
"kill the unkillable . . . starting with the one that treats you like a plaything."
"Blitzy"
"You two are both embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue bloods to begin with. But at least loud mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of being a little purse dog."
"This worthless little pet reeks of his over bloated master. I'll at least enjoy getting rid of him."
Striker clearly sees these relationships as imps lowering themselves. It doesn't seem to occur to him even for a moment that these relationships might involve genuine care because he sees all interactions between social classes as being about power and "who wins."
Notice that despite in theory caring about the power dynamics, Striker puts most of his shaming language on the imps in the relationships, and uses demeaning language to do it- "embarrassments, purse dog, little pet," as if they're at fault (for being used, in his view . . .?) and should be ashamed.
I thought about delving more into why Striker sees Blitz as closer to his own level, and I think it comes down to the things he values (physical strength, willingness to kill, detachment/independence), which are not the things that we the audience end up liking the most about Blitz. He misses the point of what actually makes our boy great, basically. đ
I've spent a lot of time reading and watching videos about real life white supremacists because I like to be miserable, and . . . yeah, this character really shares their view that some people are inferior to others, and that the traits that make them inferior are inherent and immutable. The people he hates just aren't the ones he'd have us believe he hates.
#I saw a reaction video a while back that described Striker as extremely cool but also extremely uncool at the same time#and it really stuck with me#stiker#helluva boss#stolitz#fizzmodeus#moxxie#millie#blitz#blitzo#stolas#villains#i love well written authentically detestable villains <3#my helluva meta#been cooking in the back of my mind for a while#Now edited#Ugh why do I post without rereading?
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Chapter 16: I Thought I Was In Love Before
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV
Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you neve expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy
Word Count: 10.3K
Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), IMPLIED SEX, Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Heavy Petting? Making Out, Nudity, Illusions to Sex, A little bit of self-deprecating thought. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you donât like, donât read, but if you do like, youâre my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Listen While You ReadđŞ´: "I've Been Waiting For You" by ABBA
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A/N: This chapter is really just a whole lot of fluff and a bit of cheeky spice, that I couldn't help but write. I figured the two of them really needed just a chapter where someone wasn't being tortured, someone almost died, someone was hurt, or them fighting lol. ENJOY!
There were more flowers in your entire apartment than in New York City on Valentine's Day, and you were sure that come morning there would be more flowers in here than what grew on the East Coast in the middle of spring.
Roses exploded from the bush in the corner splashing pinks and coral petals onto the floor, Lily of the valley dipped from outstretched stalks, honeysuckle, lavender, and lilac smiled from the pots on top of your dresser, and the gardenia on your bedside table filled the room with the sweet-smelling aroma. Even the pothos vines that trailed along your walls were brighter and greener, creeping along to secure your curtains while the Jasmine vines that crept up the wall behind your bed shed the white blooms over where Ben and you were laying.
You were sure that you had Jasmine smashed against your skin and threaded in your hair, but you weren't complaining. There was nothing to complain about, not if every time Ben took you to bed was anything like what had happened over the past four hours.
The number of men you'd slept with was in no way extensive, you could count it on one hand, which meant you weren't drawing from a wide range of experiences, not to mention that it had been probably over a year since you'd slept with someone, but Ben easily blew them out of the water.
Usually after you were with someone, you'd compare them to Newton, only because it was the longest relationship that you'd had and really the only guy you'd ever loved. When you'd finally slept with Newton, you'd thought that because you loved each other the sex was supposed to be good⌠but each time you were disappointed.
You could remember every awkward fumble of Newton's hands on your chest, every slobbery kiss, every time he said that he was "too tired" to return the favor, and every single time you felt unsatisfied while he turned over happy and drifted off while you tried to think of a way to muster up the courage to tell him that you wanted to try something new or at least tell him that you weren't happy.
Not being happy with Newton seemed to be a recurring theme and you didnât know why youâd stayed with him as long as you did. Perhaps it was because you thought that it was true love, just as Ben stayed with Countess because he thought that was what love was like.
Turns out the two of you had just been waiting to find each other, and you couldnât have been happier.
Nothing about the way Ben touched you was awkward or hesitant, it was confident, practiced, and just rough enough to give you a glimpse of how strong he really was. The way he kissed you was all consuming, as if he wanted to drink you in, swallow you whole until there was nothing left of you, as if he couldn't help himself but crash into you.
And Ben refused to let you touch him, until after he'd made you fall apart more times than you could count, whimpering, gasping, and screaming his name into the warm air of your bedroom with your hands tangled in his dark hair.
Not to mention you'd never get tired of the moans and breathy groans of your name on his lips. It made you feel powerful seeing Ben that way and hearing him say your name like that. Knowing that you were able to do that to him, to make him feel good the same way that he made you feel like you'd transcended to another plane of human existence. And you didn't think that you'd be able to stop anytime soon.
It was enough to make you regret making him wait for as long as you did. Maybe a part of you thought Ben was all talk, that there was no way that he was as good as he said he was, but you didn't expect Ben to know exactly what you needed as if he could see inside your head. And even though Ben said he wasn't gentle and didn't think that he could "make love" to you, what he just did for four hours came close.
Because he had unmade you, destroyed you, and then the shattered remains that pieced back together after he took you apart cell by cell was filled with so much love and ecstasy that you didnât know where it all came from.
You'd never felt this way about anyone else in your entire life. Just as Ben thought he'd loved Countess, you thought that you loved Newton, but the way you felt about Ben was nothing compared to how you felt about your ex.
You weren't sure if you'd ever feel this way about anyone else ever. At the back of your mind the realization that you could potentially live as long as Ben did was hovering there and the truth was that you could see yourself spending all that time with Ben. You could see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. He was the only one you wanted and you hated how long it took you to admit it to yourself.
But there was a little twinge of something deep down that worried you Ben couldn't commit 100%, and then Ben would do something uncharacteristically soft and it would make you believe whole heartedly that he could.
And even if Ben couldnât say that he loved you the traditional way, you knew he did. You saw it in the way he held you, saw it in the way he brought you coffee, saw it in the way he walked with you to and from work, and you saw it in the way he cared for you.
There weren't any casualties tonight, except the shower curtain and the rod. The shower had been a good idea in theory to cool off and clean up, until you grabbed the shower curtain and ripped the rod from the wall when Ben twisted his hips in a way that made you see stars.
You suppose that you had instigated it, after you laughed at Ben's inability to fit in your shower, and Ben took it as a challenge, but your plants had been spared.
And you were happy that your headboard had survived, it was antique, and you loved it, but there were a set of divots in the drywall behind the bed that made you hope that Mike wasnât home and had witnessed what had caused them.
Though you had a sneaking suspicion that Ben had done that on purpose. It wasn't a secret to you how possessive and jealous Ben was, especially not after the way you'd seen him act around Jake. It was a trait that you'd never found attractive until you met him.
But there was something about the Benâs jealousy and his almost primal need to claim you in every way he knew how that made you want him even more.
You hear Ben mutter your name faintly, breaking through your internal monologue.
You weren't up for moving now, your heart was thunderous against your rib cage, your limbs felt like jelly, and there was a layer of sweat coating your skin. You were laying on your back in your bed where the two of you had ended up, staring up at the ceiling in your bedroom trying to catch your breath, with the sheets and blankets tangled and thrown haphazardly off the sides at your feet.
And despite everything you thought about Ben, you never expected him to want to be close after sex, but he was laying on his side beside you, looking at you with a worried expression. His hand probes along your right wrist to catch your attention.
âHmm?â You breathe because you can't seem to form words at the moment.
"You doing okay there Petals?" Ben looks smug, but you can hear worry slip into his voice.
It made you smile to yourself, because as rough and prickly as Ben's outer exterior was, you knew how much he cared about you even if he was unwilling to admit it aloud.
You take in a deep breath to find your voice and calm your heart. âAre you asking if you broke me with your dick? Or if you killed me with the almost Olympic level sex?â
Ben chuckles, propping himself up so he could stare down at you, his dark hair is falling forward over his forehead, and he's studying you with his green eyes.
He looks handsome. Ben always did, but here in bed with you, he looked normal, happy, and content. After the shower, his hair no longer had all the product that had been in it for the event at Vought, and after how many times you'd run your fingers through it, it was more tousled and scrunched than usual, but you loved it. He looked more like him again, not like the man that Vought had dressed up for the event. He looked like the man you'd fallen in love with.
You wondered if Ben noticed and liked that you looked more like you now, well, you as if you'd run ten miles. You were sure that your hair was a mess tangled and matted against the pillows, your cheeks flushed, and covered in sweat.
How the fuck can he look so good after doing that for four hours? Its unfair. I probably look like I've spent the past four hours trapped in a tornado while Ben looks like he's ready for a photoshoot for Vanity Fair.
"Because I never wanted to go to the Olympics, but I wouldn't mind going with you every once and a while." You cough out a laugh, still trying to catch your breath.
"Only once in a while?" Ben smirks. "Because you sounded like you'd be okay going every night not to mention it sure looks like you wouldn't mind going." He gestures to the blooms strewn around the room, before pulling one of the small, white fragrant flowers from your hair.
"Shut up."
Ben only laughs at you, flicking the flower away . "We can go whenever you want." He trails his fingertips against your cheek, brushing back some of the hair that was stuck to the flushed skin. âBut you're okay? Sometimes I lose control-.â
âSome women like that.â
âNo, thatâs not what I meant.â He rolls his eyes at you and the hand that pushed your hair away cups your cheek. âI donât want to hurt you.â Ben's voice is soft and serious, his brilliant green eyes searching your face and then trailing down your naked body to look for injuries that you don't have.
Sure, you were a little bit sore, but it was a good sore, something that you wouldn't mind feeling all the time. The kind of sore that was satisfying to wake up to.
âWell when we first met-â You begin to say, remembering when Ben had you by the throat and was preparing to rip you in half when he changed his mind and threw you across the room the day Homelander went on ice.
It was an odd first meeting and given how much Ben and you argued it seemed fitting that the two of you met how all great loves should, mid-fight.
Youâd always wondered why Ben didnât just kill you when he had the chance. It would have been one less headache for him to face that day. You remember looking into his eyes and seeing the anger and rage within, feeling just a feeling a shiver of fear skate down your spine when you realized it might be the last thing you ever do. It was honestly the only time that you'd ever been afraid of him. Pushing Annie out of the way had been worth it, knowing that you saved your best friend's life made your sacrifice worth it, but Ben hadn't killed you.
Ben swallows your next words, his lips moving fervently against your mouth, rough, with just a tickle of his beard against your cheeks. Honestly, your lips were already swollen and a little bruised, not to mention you had beard burn in a few places, but you weren't complaining and like hell you were going to stop doing something that felt so good.
 âDonât fucking bring that up again. I hate that I hurt you.â Ben winces when he admits it, but his hand gently traces the gentle curve of your throat, a frown gracing his perfect lips as if he can imagine the bruised handprint you had for weeks later.
You'd caught him looking at the mark sometimes whenever you were on mission in those weeks together, but despite how the two of you had met, you weren't afraid of Ben. Sure, he had tried to kill you, but you'd done the same thing, so you'd figured the two of you were even. Plus, Ben annoyed you more than he scared you, and you didn't believe for one second that Ben would hurt you on purpose.
Ben might have been rough, but you didn't believe that he would ever find pleasure in hurting you or that he would beat you into submission if you pissed him off.
âItâs our history Ben.â You smile raising your hand to push his hair back, brushing your thumb over his cheek in a gesture that makes his lean subconsciously into your touch. âYou canât change it."
He frowns with a sigh, the green of his eyes lightening in the light from your bedside table lamp.
"Why didn't you kill me that day?" You whisper. "You didn't know me-"
Ben's expression turns to something that almost looks like shame for a moment, before it hardens. "You didn't belong there."
"Where?"
"In all that shit. I could see it in your eyes. I-" His jaw tightens. "I'd never seen someone like you before."
"Like me? Is this when you go back to insulting me again?" You snort.
"No. I-" He bites back his next words. "I've met other supes before, the ones that you said act like gods, the ones like my bastard son but you were-.â Ben huffs out a frustrated breath. âI don't fucking know you were just different, and I didn't want to-" Ben looks conflicted as if he can't find what to say.
Although you usually found Benâs awkwardness in conversations when they got too personal cute, a part of you broke for him. You wondered if heâd been like that his whole life. If Ben had lived in a world, where he couldnât open to anyone without an internal monologue from an unseen entity telling him that he was being a âpussy.â You remembered what your grandmother said about Benâs father, and it only made your heart break more for him.
You made a promise to yourself right then and there that even if it took decades you were going to make Ben comfortable telling you what he was really feeling and thinking. You wanted Ben to know that it didn't make him weak to express emotion that way, that you thought it didn't make him less of a man to talk to you.
Your hand slips from his cheek trailing to curve around the back of his head, bringing his face to yours so you can kiss him, pouring as much emotion as you can into it. "It's okay." You murmur against his lips with a small smile. "I understand."
"You do?" He looks surprised.
"Yes.â You nod, trailing your fingertips in his hair. âNo one else has ever said that to me or cared to notice. I think I wanted to be a part of that world because of Annie, to be closer to her, but I donât belong in it. Even after everything that happened with Elijah and Darren-â
âNo, you donât.â Ben doesnât say it cruelly or with disdain or in a way to belittle you, instead he says it with a sigh, his hand finding your hip, trailing his thumb over the curve of your pelvis. "I want better for you than this."
"This?"
"You working for Butcher, working fifty jobs, coming back to this shitty apartment-"
You lock your arms around the back of his neck with a laugh. "We talked about this, I like our apartment."
Ben's entire body freezes where he's laying next to you, the thumb that was circling your pelvis coming to a halt. "You said our."
"Yes I did." You smile up at him, seeing the way his green eyes have brightened with the word. "The shitty apartment is half yours now."
"What a dream come true." Ben rolls his eyes. "At least at Vought it would have been quieter-"
"I think that Mike's screeching adds to the ambiance." You joke, loving the way his hair falls between your fingers and how Ben seems to lean into your touch before he can stop himself, that he reacts that way to you touching him just as you react to him touching him. But your smile turns sympathetic. "Poor Mike. I'm going to have to get him some noise canceling headphones-"
Ben's eyes darken to an emerald. "Let him listen, maybe he'll learn something. Plus, I did warn him my girl was kinda loud."
"Is that what I am?"
"Yes." Ben smirks. "Fucking finally."
You roll your eyes. "The way we started might have been rocky, but I like where we ended up."
âI do too, but I wish we had ended up here sooner.â His smile turns more into a smirk. Ben's hand grips your waist possessively, sliding you further across the bed towards him so he's leaning over you. âTold you it would be good. We couldâve been doing this since the day we met sweetheart.â
âPatience is a virtue.â Â
âThat Iâve never had.â Ben hesitates, something flashing through his eyes so quickly that you can't place it. âBut youâre okay?â It comes out quiet, and you watch his gaze drop again to your body to check for injuries.
âNo.â Benâs eyes widen at your answer, before you smile and bring his face back down to yours, the words a breath upon your lips. âIâm better than okay, Iâm with you.â
The look on his face breaks you, it's so honest, so unlike the usual hardened façade he wore that it made it difficult to breathe. It reminds you of the way your father looked at your mother whenever he'd get home from work, or when the two of them would sway back and forth in the kitchen to an ABBA song, and when he looked at her like she was his entire world and nothing else mattered.
You never thought that you'd want to see Ben look at you like that or that he would ever look at you that way, but now his green eyes are bright and happy, meeting yours and it made you feel so warm that you were sure you would just melt off the bed and into a puddle.
It was what you had imagined when you thought about falling in love with someone else, the past four hours had been exactly that too. It was the romance that you wanted, the one that you tried to use to block off Benâs countless attempts to try and sleep with you.
And you couldn't have been happier.
"Are you okay?" Your smile turns more into a smirk. "No broken hip or anything? Because at your age I'd think that it's a hazard. Didn't think an old man could do any of that without serious injury."
Ben's gaze turns murderous, something dark shining in his eyes that makes your throat tighten. "You're gonna regret that Petals."
"Oh, am I?" You tangle your fingers in his dark locks, your smirk growing. It brought you joy to make him so angry, to annoy him as much as he annoys you.
"Yes." He growls into your mouth pinning you to the bed, his body caging you in against the tangled sheets and blankets. Ben's eyes are glinting darkly in the light and makes you lose all feeling in your legs. "You are."
A little while later, Ben traces your lips softly with his thumb as you try to catch your breath. You were honestly beginning to fade in an out of sleep, and there was a pleasant ache along your limbs that made you smile with every drag of his fingertips against your skin.
âPetals?â
âYes Gramps?â
"Don't call me that."
"I think it's cute." You sigh. "I like how out of touch you are with everything. It's adorable."
"I'm not adorable." He huffs.
"Yes, you are Gramps."
Ben rolls his eyes, but then laughs under his breath as if he thinks it's ridiculous to try and stop you.
Good, he's learning.
âWill you say it again?â He whispers.
âGramps?â You joke.
âNo.â Ben sighs heavily and jostles your exhausted body to make you stop, but it only makes you laugh at him.
âSay what?â
âWhat you said before.â
âBen, I canât really remember where I am right now so Iâm gonna need you to be a little more specific.â
âWhen we were at Vought.â
You press your lips together in concentration trying to understand what he means. You'd said quite a few things to him tonight, things that you'd moaned while gripping his shoulders so tight that you would have left bruises on anyone else, and you try to think of what specifically he could be talking about.
What does he mean- Oh.
âI love you.â You say it without hesitation, without looking away from his gaze, and without regret. You didnât hate yourself for falling in love with him and you didnât want to deny yourself of him anymore. Not when he was holding you close with a softness that Ben had said he was anything but, not when Ben took the time to care about what you liked, and not when Ben seemed truly happy for the first time since heâd been out of Russia.
Ben leans down to kiss you, but this time itâs not rough, itâs not him in a frenzy taking what he wants, itâs gentle and turns hungry the longer his lips are against yours, his hands roaming places along your body that make you sigh and reach up grip his shoulders as an uncontrollable moan slips from your mouth.
If it was always going to be like this you were sure that youâd become insatiable, but you were never going to admit that to Ben. As if you needed to stroke his monumental ego.
Plus, you had a feeling that Ben already knew that.
âDo you believe me?â You murmur against his lips, shuffling your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, looking up at him with a gentle smile.
âYes.â Ben whispers. âBecause I know you wouldnât lie about something like that.â
âI wouldnât ever do that to you Ben. I want you to know that. And I wouldn't manipulate you into being something you're not-"
âI know.â He traces the soft angles of your face with his rough fingertips, sending goosebumps over your skin. âYouâre nothing like her.â
He didnât have to say Countessâs name for you to know who heâs talking about. The last thing you wanted was for Ben to believe that you were telling him you loved him to manipulate him to do something or become something he wasnât.
âI hope not.â
âItâs what I like about you.â Ben continues. âYouâre soft."
"Soft?" You raise an eyebrow trying to figure out if it was an insult.
He nods. "All the other supes I meet act like they have something to prove, but you-" Ben sighs. "You're different. You're kinder, even when you shouldnât be.â
âShouldnât be?â You ask mildly confused.
âI-â Ben hesitates as if what heâs about to say is difficult for him. âWhat you said that night at the fundraiser is true, Iâm not this man. Iâm not-â His expression turns dark for a moment and you realize that Ben was about to say Jakeâs name. Ben's jaw tightens and you can see how difficult it is for him to say what comes next. "But fuck Petals you make me want to be that man. I don't think anyone else ever has."
You could feel your eyes beginning to water with the emotion that swelled in your chest. You'd never heard Ben admit something like that, never heard him say that he wanted to be better for you.
âBen, look at me.â You whisper cupping his cheeks to raise his gaze from your chin. âI donât want Jake. I want you. I know what kind of man you are. I trust you-â
âBut you shouldn't-â Ben presses and it reminds you of the same thing he said to you before he took you to your bedroom.
âWhy do you think that?â
âBecause Iâve done terrible things. Iâve killed people, tortured others,-â
"I've killed people too-"
"Not for the same reasons. You killed them because they were going to hurt you."
You gently push his hair back from his face. âBen?â
âYeah?â He's frowning, eyebrows furrowed together, and you kiss away the frown on his perfect lips.
âI know you. I know about the things youâve done. Iâve seen the darkest parts and I love you anyway. All the little pieces of who you are make you⌠you. You wouldnât be the man I love if you didnât have them."
âBut-â
âNo buts.â You squish his cheek and Ben gives you an annoyed look that only makes you snort. He was going to need to get used to your antics if he was going to survive living with you. âEverything youâve done, the choices you made, the things that have happened to you, shaped the man I fell in love with and brought you to me. No one is perfect Ben. Everyone is flawed, itâs what makes us human. But sometimes the flaws are the best part. So please donât hide who you are from me, because you think you have to. Youâre not going to scare me away.â
âHow can you say that when Iâm so different than you?â
âBecause youâre forgetting all the important parts I love about you.â
âWhich are?â
âWell now it kinda feels like youâre fishing for compliments Gramps.â You joke and this time the ends of Benâs mouth quirk up in a half smile. âYou protect me, you take care of me, you always listen when Iâm talking and you actually remember some of the things I say, you pay attention to what I like, you try to make me laugh with your disgusting sense of humor-â
âYou know you like it Petals.â Ben smirks.
âAnd you annoy me.â
He shakes his head with a chuckle. âDoesnât seem to be a good thing. Annoying you.â
âIt is.â You giggle. âBecause no one else annoys me quite like you do.â
âYouâre so fucking weird.â Ben says, but it's not hostile, he says it with love, almost as if he can't believe how lucky he is.
âI love you too Ben.â You pull his face down to yours, cupping his cheeks with your hands and feeling the beard scratch and scrape against your palms.
âYouâre unlike anyone Iâve ever met.â He murmurs, trailing his kisses down to your jaw.
âPretty much everyone youâve met is from another century so-â
Ben raises his head to glare at you. âYou annoy me too.â
âAnd you see it as a good thing right?â You tap him on the nose.
âFuck no.â
The bed shakes with your laughter, Ben is still leaning over you, his right hand pushed into the sheets next to your head, his body resting comfortably beside you. You could feel how warm he was, the weight of his body like a warm blanket, and you knew that you could get used to this. You wanted this life with Ben so badly it burned through your body like wildfire. It made your heart ache, just as it used to when you thought about having a romance like your parents, your grandparents, and Annie and Hughie. When youâd think about finding the person who seemed perfect for you in every way.
Funny, given that Ben seemed to be the opposite of you, but that was why the two of you fit so well together. Â
âYou never listen to me, you always argue, you always find something Iâve done to complain about-â Ben continues.
âAre you going back to insulting me? Because it wasn't exactly fun for me earlier when you yelled at me."
âGive me a fucking minute.â
You wait.
His voice shifts to something a little gruffer almost confused. âYou donât ask me for anything.â
It was probably the last thing you thought he was going to say. If anything, you thought he was going to say that youâre always covered in dirt.
"What?"
âCountess she always-â Ben frowns. âShe was always asking me for shit. Jewelry, clothes, a new car. I always got what she asked because I thought thatâs what you do for someone you care about, but you always fight me whenever I try to buy something for you. I don't understand you."
"You've said that before-"
"I know, but it's true. I've never fucking understood you." He smiles when he says it.
"That's okay, you have time to figure it out."
Ben hesitates, his hand tracing your arm. "I guess you do too."
The comment is paired with another rare soft smile, the kind of smile that you wanted to make him have every day for the rest of your life, and you understood why he was smiling like that. Because Ben was allowing himself to be comforted by the idea that he wouldnât have to worry about losing you, that he wouldn't have to be alone and that you would be with him for as long as he was alive.
Something inside ripped open and you felt your eyes begin to water with the weight of his words, because Ben was saying that he wanted to be with you as long as you wanted to be with him.
"Yeah." You breathe. "I guess I do."
You contemplate for a minute what he said about Countess asking him for things. "Honestly, I do like gifts, but I like gifts that mean something." You sit up, gently pushing him off you, so you can gesture to the bookshelf standing proudly on the other side of your bedroom, the one that Ben bought you at IKEA. "Like the bookshelf."
"I bought you a diamond necklace and you liked the bookshelf more?" Ben sighs incredulous.
"Yeah." You laugh. "I've needed a bookshelf for ages, but I never was able to afford one. Do you have any idea how long I've had piles of books? Years. And-" You shrug your shoulders, gently taking Ben's hand in yours, rubbing your thumb over the hardened ridges and rough patches. You couldn't go long without touching him, you were realizing that about yourself and now that you were finally allowing yourself to touch him you werenât sure when you would be able to stop. "I've also always thought that spending time with someone else is more special than big extravagant gifts."
"Really?"
You nod.
"Why?"
"Because I think there's something wonderful about just existing with someone, of inhabiting the same space and doing nothing at all. Of sinking into someone and just being there." You could feel your cheeks flushing. "When we watch a movie or when we sit and read together or when you walk with me to the plant shop, I like things like that. Spending time together without expectations or a sense of urgency. Taking the time out of your day to be with someone else. And it doesn't have to be sex either-"
"Are you saying that you didn't like the sex?" Ben raises an eyebrow. "Because you certainly sounded like you-"
"No! I-" Your cheeks flush. "I liked the sex."
"Thought so." Ben smirks.
"You're insufferable." You roll your eyes at him, considering what to say next. "I know that it's a little different than the girls you've met in the past, and I know that it might seem a little strange, but you didn't have to take me to Vought to impress me or win my love or something."
Ben looks confused.
"I mean, if you'd shown up on my grandmother's doorstep with a giant box of greasy Chinese food, a cheap bottle of wine, and a small bouquet of flowers I would have been equally happy."
"Really?"
"Mhmm." You continue to trace your fingers over the palm of Ben's hand, loving the way it feels in yours. "You've got some big hands there mister."
"There isn't anything small about me Sweetheart, you know that. Got to see firsthand" Ben teases sitting up and leaning towards you with a smirk that makes you roll your eyes. He takes your free hand in his left brushing his thumb over the palm. "Yours are kinda small."
"Sorry sasquatch, we can't all have meat hooks."
"I like it." He murmurs.
"That you've got meat hooks for hands?"
"No, I like how small your hands are." He smiles crookedly at you in a way that makes your breath catch.
"Why?"
"Just take the compliment Petals."
"Well, no one has ever complimented my hands before soâŚ"
"I'm sure that I can give a compliment to every part of your sexy body.â
"If you're about to start talking about my ass again, Ben I swear I'm going to lock you in a tree."
âSongs should be written about it. Iâm just stating the obvious.â
You shake your head at him and continue to stroke your thumb over his palm while Ben does the same thing. He was being surprisingly gentle, holding your hand as if it was a fragile bird that could fly away at any moment.
âWhy do you like my hands?â
Ben is quiet for a moment. âI don't know I kind of like how delicate they are, and I like how you always seem to have some dirt on them-â Ben smooths his thumb over your palm. âI like how small they look in mine.â He mutters more to himself than to you.
âBen?â You whisper.
He glances up, an ashamed look on his face. âYeah?â
âI like how they look in yours too.â
âReally?â
You nod before you look back down at his hands with red cheeks. âI like how big yours are because they feel solid, strong, but also just a little bit gentle.â You could feel yourself blushing all over again. âWhen we first met, I didnât think you could be, but you are.â
Ben scoffs.
âStop.â You look up at him. âYou donât have to pretend right now, itâs just you and me.â You whisper, squeezing his hand encouragingly. "I know that you think that you have to be this tough, no feelings, jerk or playboy or toxic masculinity poster boy, but you donât. Not around me. I love you and you opening up to me more is not going to make me stop or think less of you. You can tell me how you feel without me judging you."
The look in Benâs eyes softens for a moment.
âI like the way you are when youâre around me.â You continue in a whisper. âYou always seem softer and a bit happier.â
Ben doesnât answer immediately, instead he continues to let you stroke along his hands. âI-um-Iâ He clears his throat. âI like who I am around you too.â
Your cheeks warm with his confession.
Ben clears his throat still looking down at your hand watching the gentle movement of your thumb against his skin. "Look, I-" He pauses. "I wasn't just trying to impress you."
"When?"
"At Vought."
"Then why-"
"I don't want you to worry about any of this shit anymore."
"What shit?"
"Paying rent, buying groceries that aren't name brand, walking because you can't afford a car-" Ben sighs. "Fuck, the day we went to IKEA, and you looked at the price of that couch, I hated how you looked and-"
"Ben it's okay. I budget things and it works out. I'm used to it-"
"But I'm not. It's not okay." His hand tightens in yours. "And I don't want you to worry about any of it."
"But-"
"No 'buts' Petals. "
"I don't want you to pay for everything all the time!" You shout.
"Why not?"
"Because it's your money-"
"Not anymore. You're my girl and that means you're not going to worry about any of it as long as I'm here."
"Do you think you're going to stay a long time?" You say it hesitantly, the part of you deep down that worried Ben couldn't be in an exclusive relationship rearing its ugly head all over again.
"As long as you want me here." The determination in Ben's eyes makes your heart stutter a beat, but there was just a little bit of something behind his gaze, something that looked like vulnerability, but it vanishes in the heat of his gaze.
"I'm pretty sure that I'm always going to want you here. It's too quiet without you."
âThen Iâll stay.â
Ben pushes you back against the bed, fitting his body over yours like a warm weighted blanket designed especially for you, kissing you with so much enthusiasm you're not sure that you remember how to breathe. You didn't understand how it could be like this, how you could feel this way about him especially after he annoyed you so much.
But just as he reaches down to grab your thighs to pull them up around his hips, your stomach growls loud enough to wake the dead.
Oh, holy fuck that is so embarrassing.
Ben hesitates and looks at you, your cheeks burning a bright red. "When was the last time you ate?"
"Um-" You clear your throat. "I mean I drank some of my latte earlier but-"
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"What?"
"I should have known." Ben sighs and extracts himself from the embrace of your thighs, getting up from the bed, and muttering something under his breath that you can't understand. âYou always do this.â
"Wait, where are you going?" You ask him as you sit up.
"I'm going to find my fucking phone and order a pizza." He says, running his hand through his hair almost a little angry.
âItâs okay you donât have to do that-â
âYes, I do. I mean, fuck Petals, why donât you ever remember to eat?â Ben grouses.
âBecause I have a lot on my mind! A few things happened today, and I was upset because you weren't in the apartment when I got home and-"
Ben leans across the bed to kiss you, securing his large hand at the back of your head. "I'm sorry that you were upset. I swear that I'm going to make it up to you."
"Ben Iâm pretty sure that youâve spent the last four hours making it up to me-â
"Not long enough." He winks in a way that makes your throat tighten. "But let me find my phone.â
"Okay." You reach for his shirt on the floor prepared to help him find it, but Ben's hand comes down to your wrist to stop you. âLet me help.â
"Don't bother getting dressed Petals. Thisâll only take a minute." He says with a wide smirk. "And I'm not done with you yet."
You're not sure how you ended up on the couch naked and eating pizza, but somehow that's exactly what happens. When the pizza guy had been buzzed up, Ben had answered the door only wearing a pair of his boxers, his chest still sweaty and his hair tugged in two different directions, but Ben couldn't have cared less.
Honestly, you'd had to stop him from answering the door naked. The guy had no sense of shame, but you figured that someone who had founded Herogasm and spent at least seventy five percent of his week bed-hopping, had probably lost his sense of shame years ago.
Bean and Rex were now sharing the dog bed in the corner, a surprising turn of events, but you hoped that it meant the two of them had sorted out whatever sibling problems they were having.
Ben's arm was thrown over your shoulders, pulling you further into him while you ate a slice of pizza with your head leaning against his arm.
I could get used to this.
You exhale a happy sigh and cuddle further into him. Ben wasn't a cuddler, but he was allowing you to cuddle against his arm. But he seemed to be enjoying himself, eating his own slice while taking sips of a glass of whiskey that he was sharing with you.
Sharing was a relative turn because the one time he gave you a sip, you'd sputtered it all out and almost coughed up a lung while Ben patted you on the back as hard as he dared, laughing all the while at you.
And predictably when Ben and you were done, he pulled you onto his lap, and the only thing you could think of was how wonderful you felt. Being with Ben made you feel vibrant and alive in the best way. He made you feel beautiful and made you feel as if Ben understood you more than anyone else ever had. That he saw through what everyone else called weird or unusual and loved you anyway. It was all you wanted for so long, a man who saw every part of you that others sneered at and fell head over heels.
Ben deepens the kiss, groaning into your mouth as his hands tighten on your hips hard enough to leave bruises, but you don't care. Everything about him felt right, the scruff of his beard scratching against your flushed cheeks, the smell of his shampoo (really yours) floating through the air with every breath you took of him, the soft pillow of his lips urgent as if he wanted to drink you in breath by breath and never come up for air, the rough trail of his calloused hands over your soft skin, and the hardness of his body molding around yours in the best way as you sat on top of him. You didn't feel self-conscious or uncomfortable, you couldn't, not when each time Ben touched you with a reverence as if wanted to savor you, to run his hands over every inch and discover new places that no one had ever been, and make you feel things that no one ever has or ever will.
You're so absorbed in Ben that you don't hear the jingle of keys in the lock of your front door, but you do hear the startled scream.
"What the fuck!" Annie screams as she enters the living room.
"Holy shit! Annie what the fuck are you doing here!?" You screech, diving off Ben and ripping the crocheted blanket off the back of the couch to cover yourself.
Annie had seen you naked before, what she hadn't seen was Ben naked or Ben and you having sex.
Oh, will the nightmare never end?
"I was just coming to find you! I was worried!" She shouts, her hand covering her eyes, but it was too late. You knew that she'd seen everything. And you mean EVERYTHING.
Well, it can't get any worse.
"Hey Annie did you find her and- OH HOLY FUCK!" Hughie exclaims as he enters the apartment behind Annie and immediately slaps his hand over his eyes so loud you can hear the sharp slap of his hand against his face. "I didnât see anything!"
"Can someone shut the door before Mike comes in here and 'doesn't see anything either!'" You snap, clutching the crocheted blanket tighter against your chest. It was doing little to cover you, due to the wide spaces in between the granny squares, but it was the only thing big enough to cover all of you.
Because that's exactly what this situation needed, my neighbor coming in and getting everything on his Christmas list when he sees me naked on my couch.
"Why try to hide it baby?" Ben shrugs, leaning back against the couch not bothering to cover himself. "I want everyone to see what they can't have." He winks.
You smack him in the face with one of the couch pillows before shoving it into his lap. "You're not helping Ben." You wave a hand and a vine hanging on the back of your door shuts it with a slam.
"What?" Ben leans towards you with a salacious grin. "My girl is fucking gorgeous, should be the star of every wet dream-"
"Ben, I swear I will tie you up and-"
"But we already did that Petals." He grins. "I wouldn't mind doing it again-"
The wave of heat that travels through your body has nothing to do with embarrassment.
"Please do not finish that sentence." Annie interrupts, her hand still covering her eyes. "I'm already scarred for life."
"Join the club." Hughie mutters.
"You wouldn't have been scarred for life if you had just fucking knocked!" You shout at your friend. "Why are you here?"
"I was worried when you ran to the elevators and Ashley finally let me leave that ridiculous party! I tried to call you and you didn't answer, I went up to Ben's apartment and you weren't there, I called your grandmother and she said that she hadn't heard from you, so I figured you were here!"
"You called Di?" Ben asks.
"I was desperate!" Annie sighs. "I wanted to make sure she was okay-"
"Uh-huh well, you can see that she's fine and we were in the middle of something. Unless the two of you want to get another eyeful of my girl's perfect ass, you should clear out-"
"Ben!" You smack him on the shoulder.
"Absolutely, Annie let's go-" Hughie begins to say stepping backward with his hand over his eyes. He gropes through the air blindly trying to find her, but he comes up empty.
"Wait!" Annie removes her hand from her face, giving Ben a once over and not bothering to hide what she was doing.
"What do you have to wait for?" Hughie asks still reaching out for Annie with his eyes closed.
"Annie for fucks sake-" You groan, but Ben seemed to like all the attention.
She gives you a thumbs up. "I want details tomorrow."
It was more of a high five moment and you both knew it, but you weren't going to give her the satisfaction.
"ANNIE!" You huff face blushing an even brighter red. By now you were sure that you were as red as the strawberries that were hanging on the plant on your kitchen table.
"Bye babe!" Annie says cheerfully, pulling Hughie out the door behind her and slamming it.
"I'm going to kill her." You mutter under your breath, but Ben laughs.
"You're going to talk me up right baby?" Ben purrs wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you into him again. His lips fall to your ear, biting your earlobe before he murmurs. "Tell her all about how good I was?"
"Keep talking and I'm going to tell her that I had to fake it for four hours." You threaten.
It was an empty threat, like hell you were ever going to forget what Ben had done to you. And of course, you were going to tell Annie everything tomorrow over coffee or maybe over wine.
Definitely wine. Iâm going to need to get a little bit drunk to cope with the thought that Hughie just saw me naked.
"Aww don't be like that Petals. We both know that you didn't fake anything."
âThat you know.â
Benâs gaze turns dark. âOh really?â His grip on your waist tightens and he starts to pull the crocheted blanket away from your chest.
âWait.â You say before you get distracted.
âWhat?â Ben pulls back. "What's wrong?"
"Annie called my grandmother, which means that she may have tried to call me." You look around the room for where your phone could be. It's between the couch cushions behind you and when you look at the screen you see that your grandmother had tried to call you twice, just as you suspected.
"So?"
"She called me. She must be so worried." You push the call button.
Your grandmother answers on the first ring. "Hello?"
"Hey Gran, I'm sorry I didn't pick up. I was-"
"You don't have to explain. I know that you must have been preoccupied." The way she says preoccupied makes your entire body flush bright red.
Oh, sweet baby peony, please tell me that my grandmother didn't watch Ben and me having sex.
"Please tell me that you didn't-" You begin to croak.
"I didn't mean to." She breezes, and she doesn't sound ashamed. "But then Annie called, and I was worried about where you were so I looked ahead a bit and-â
"Oh, for the love of lemon cream pie." You groan, curling up into a ball because that seems the right thing to do after you've found out that your grandmother had a front row seat to see what Ben and you over the past four hours.
The couch shakes beneath you, and you realize that Ben is laughing. You raise your head to glare at him.
"Looks like the cats out of the bag Petals." He croons.
"I will kill you." You narrow your eyes at him.
"Sweet Pea, I was alive when Ben went to yearly herogasms, there really isn't anything I haven't seen." You hear your grandmother say.
"That doesn't matter." You groan, pulling the crochet blanket over your head in shame. "This is mortifying."
"Petals it's okay." Ben rubs your back, but it's not helping. "I did some of my best work, and you really did some-â
"Please do not finish that sentence."
"Honey, I didn't see too much." Your grandmother soothes. "But I am happy you called, because I want to speak to Ben for a moment."
You hold up the phone from underneath the crocheted blanket, remaining inside your cocoon of shame.
I'm never going to be able to look her in the eyes every again. Holy fuck why me? Why me!? Iâd rather Mike walk in here while Ben and I were fooling around on the couch.
"Di, what's wrong?" You hear Ben say into the phone, but you donât come out of your cave.
"What's wrong?" Your grandmother asks calmly. "Oh, let me think for a second⌠You're a complete MOTHER FUCKING IDIOT!" Your grandmother shouts it so loudly that you could hear it vibrating through the room.
You peel back the crocheted blanket on your head to look up at Ben who seems just as surprised at your grandmother's insult.
"Wait a minute, what did I-"
"No! No talking!" She shouts. "I couldn't have been any clearer, could I? Maybe if I'd hit you over the head with a frying pan it would have cleaned out your ears! Or given your brain a good shake."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?! I told you what you needed to do. I told you that you needed to come here and what did you fucking do? You broke my granddaughter's heart and went right back to Stan Fucking Edgar!"
Ben's eyes shift to yours and you swear you can see a flicker of regret spark behind his gaze. It makes you reach out and take his free hand, squeezing it to ground him here with you. You knew that Ben felt bad about leaving you like that, you heard it in his voice when he talked to you back at Vought, had seen the regret in his eyes when he told you that he âshould have been there.â
"That's not-" Ben says half-heartedly, his gaze still on you.
"No! It's exactly what happened."
"Stop anticipating what I'm going to fucking say!" Ben snaps.
"And you stop interrupting me!" Your grandmother shouts back.
"But-"
"Benjamin, you better not fuck this up, because if you do, I will fuck you up." The threat hangs heavy in the air. "Now put my granddaughter back on the phone."
Ben huffs something under his breath and hands you back the phone, fuming. You give his hand another apologetic squeeze.
It was embarrassing enough that your grandmother had seen Ben and you having sex, but now you were mortified that she had yelled at him. You understood that they were friends, but Ben was still your boyfriend.
"Gran you shouldn't talk to him like that." You say into the phone, leaning into Ben's bare shoulder to show him that you werenât angry with him. "He's apologized and it's okay-"
"It most certainly is not okay." Your grandmother says. "And somebody's got to talk to him like that, so it might as well be me."
"But Gran-"
"No buts sweet pea." She interrupts. "Now I know the two of you are busy today, but I would like you to come out here next week."
"Next week?"
"Yes. It's the annual town fall festival and I've got about a million things to bake, and I could really use the help." Your grandmother states. "Plus, Annie's mother is driving me up the wall about it and it would be nice to have someone here to make sure that I don't kill her."
"Oh okay." You frown and the thought of leaving Ben. The two of you had just finally worked it all out and now you were going to have to go back to Illinois. But you couldn't leave your grandmother high and dry. She needed you there and you loved your grandmother. "Well, I guess Ben can take care of Bean and Rex-
"I want to go." Ben interrupts you.
"Really?" You look at him surprised. "It's not something that you'd-"
"I want to go." He says firmly and this time it's Ben that squeezes your hand.
It made you smile, because you could see that Ben wanted to spend time with you even at something that he'd probably hate every second of.
Fuck, I love him so much.
"Okay. We'll be there." You reply to your grandmother, but you don't look away from Ben.
He's got that soft smile on his face, the one that you want to make him have every second for the rest of your life. You were sure that the same smile was mirrored on your own.
"Perfect. Now get back to doing whatever it was that you were doing, and don't forget to call me when you figure out what day you're going to start driving over."
"Drive? Wouldn't we fly?"
"Nope. For some reason you convince Ben that a road trip will be fun." She says knowingly and you realize that she's seen the future again. âSomething about experiencing America in the 21st century.â You can imagine her waving her hand around as if she canât quite understand.
"That's going to take some getting used to." You groan and wonder how much she had seen of your life. "Gran?"
"Yes, sweet pea?"
"Thank you. For everything."
"You're welcome." You could hear the smile in your grandmother's voice.
She didnât need you to explain what you meant, she knew that you were talking about last week when she comforted you and tried her darndest to tell you that Ben and you were meant to be together. She had always been so patient with you, and you knew that she loved you just as you loved her. Going home was never a chore or something you dreaded. It was something that filled you with warmth, something that made you feel like you belonged, and the home was filled with the love your grandmother infused through the air with her thoughtful actions and kind words.
"I love you." You smile.
"I love you too sweetie. I'll see you next week."
You sit there in the silence for a moment, lowering the phone from your ear, before you look up at Ben.
"You okay Petals?" Ben drags the crocheted blanket away from your body, before he pulls you onto his lap.
"Yeah. I am." You smile, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to secure him against you. "Can you promise me something?"
 "Anything." His hands settle comfortably on your hips, but Ben doesnât look away from your face.
"That you wonât leave like that again." This time you reach down and pull his right hand up to your chest, directly over your heart so he can feel the gentle beat through his skin.
'Like-"
"Go all radio silent and take all your stuff and just vanish into thin air." You clarify. "I didn't like that. It scared me and I-"
Ben's other hand cups your cheek, pulling your face to his before you can finish your sentence. You can feel how sorry he is, how much he wants to make it up to you. You know deep down that Ben didnât mean to do that to you, that he only did it because he was trying to push you away, but that didn't make it any less okay.
"I promise." He says into your mouth before nipping at your sore bottom lip and easing the pain with a sweep of his tongue against the soft flesh. "I won't leave like that again."
"Good." But instead of kissing him again, this time you press your forehead into his shoulder with a soft sigh, cuddling into him.
"Tired?" Ben's hand begins to circle at the base of your spine.
"Mhmm. You wore me out old man."
"I thought you were faking it."
"I wasn't faking all of it." You press a kiss into the shadow of his jaw, holding on to him. You wondered if Ben was okay with how clingy you were but given his hand placement you didn't think that it bothered him.
"Thought so." Ben chuckles. "Petals?"
"Hmm?" You hum into his skin, tightening your arms around his neck. He was wonderful and warm in the best way, like the perfect heating pad. Not to mention the way his muscles tensed around your body made goosebumps flicker over your arms. You could feel a wave of happiness and contentment crashing over your head, the longer you cuddled into him.
"Will you promise me something?" He mutters into the top of your head.
"Of course."
Heâs quiet for a few moments. "That you won't leave either." Ben whispers it so quietly that you're not sure that you heard him correctly.
You pull back just a few inches to look him in the eye. He looks a little ashamed, and you can practically see the internal self-deprecating monologue inside his head, his face scrunching up in disgust. He opens his mouth, probably to take it back-
Your lips meet his, gentle, unyielding, pouring every emotion you have into it, your hands finding the strands of hair at the nape of his neck to hold him closer to you. You wanted Ben to understand that you would never judge him for that, that he could be vulnerable around you without consequence. And you wanted him to believe how much you loved him and how much he meant to you.
Ben moans into your mouth, pulling you tighter against his chest, your body molding against his in the best way, in the way that Ben only could. His hands were everywhere, trailing warmth in their wake, making the tiredness that you had felt minutes ago fade as you began to burn beneath his calloused palms.
He tasted good, he smelled good, and he felt so damn good that it made you feel like you were catching fire one cell at a time, burning until there was nothing left but stardust.
"I promise Ben." You whisper against his mouth before he swallows the words whole. "I promise that I'll never leave as long as you want me here."
He hesitates, hands stilling on your hips. An odd look crosses his face.
"Ben? What's wrong?" You cup his cheeks, worried about him.
"I-" He swallows, but looks frustrated with himself.
"It's okay." You whisper, brushing your lips against his, understanding exactly what it is that he's trying to say. "You donât have to say it. I know. I love you too.â
And you did know. You knew that it was difficult for him to admit something like that, but you didnât care. You knew that Ben loved you as much as you loved him, and that was enough for you.
You settle back down against his chest, holding him close to you.
âCome on Petals, letâs go to bed.â He murmurs into the top of your head.
âCan we just sit here for a few minutes?â You whisper into his throat, nuzzling into his warmth.
Benâs hand gently trails along your back, holding you steadily on top of him. âYeah. We can do that.â
And you wondered if Ben liked this as much as you did, if there was a piece of Ben that longed for the quiet moments you loved so much, and the quiet moments when it was just the two of you and no one else.
You feel him press a kiss to your hairline, and itâs enough to send you off into the sweet relief of sleep, swallowed and enveloped in Benâs warm embrace.
A/N: Just a lovely bit of fluff and a little spice đ. I really needed to just write a soft Ben and a reader enjoying their time together. đ There will be one more chapter that is a little bit of a time jump, but I think it will wrap up the series wonderfully! But don't worry, it won't be the last time I write for this reader and Ben. I have a mini-series planned and a few one-shots planned!
As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, Likes, and Comments are not required but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know!
Taglist:
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Friend-zoned? - Alhaitham x f!reader
Summary: How many Akademiya guys does it take to figure out whether or not you've friend-zoned Alhaitham? After discussing how strong he is, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari analyze his relationship with you. Things get interesting when you join their table.
Other info: fluff and humor :D, female reader, my extension of the conversation in Alhaitham's character demo because I loved the guys' interactions there so much
Words: 2.7k
*****
"Essentially, more time on contemplation, less time on execution," Alhaitham tells them. "Simple, isn't it?"
"... Not really," Tighnari and Cyno reply.
"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have brought this up with you," Kaveh complains.
"I thought my answer was quite engrossing," Alhaitham says. He raises his hand. "Boss, this is good wine. I'll have the same please."
Kaveh swirls his cup. "Well, he has at least one weakness," he comments.
"Do tell," Cyno says.
"He's had the same crush for years," Kaveh tells them. "The guy's completely smitten."
"You can't be serious," says Cyno.
"Why is that so surprising?" Alhaitham says. "It makes less sense that I wouldn't be attracted to her."
"See what I mean?" says Kaveh. "You should see how he is around her. He practically treats her like a queen."
"I have a hard time believing that," Cyno says, crossing his arms.
"Stop exaggerating," Alhaitham tells Kaveh. "I just treat her the way she should be treated."
Kaveh only laughs at his answer.
"I thought you didn't like social interaction," says Cyno. "Or had any friends for that matter."
"It's not tiring to be around her," he says. "She's different."
"Of course she is," says Kaveh.
"Well this is interesting," says Tighnari. "What is she like?"
"We've known each other since we were kids. She was mature for her age. She did things like helping me resolve issues I had with others to keep the peace, making sure other kids didn't bother me while I was reading⌠Also, comforting me whenever I got discouragedâŚ"
"You? Discouraged?" Kaveh scoffs.
"Yes? I'm only human you know," Alhaitham simply replies. "Anyway, you get the picture."
"That seems reasonable," says Tighnari.
"So it's one-sided?" Cyno asks. "As far as I can tell, you're still single."
"No," says Alhaitham, crossing his arms. "It's not one-sided."
"You're kidding me, right?" Kaveh says. "Are we even talking about the same person?"
Tighnari raises a brow.
"Every time she introduces him to another woman, she's a little too obvious with sharing why they'd be good for Alhaitham," Kaveh explains, "as if she's trying to sell them off to him."
"Don't be so dramatic," Alhaitham says. "She's not selling anyone."
"If that's the case, then why are you sure she likes you?" asks Cyno.
"Well for one, she comes by often to check how I'm doing."
"Perhaps she simply thinks you're incompetent at your job," Kaveh chides.
"Two," he continues, ignoring him. "She's always willing to hear about the latest book I'm reading, no matter how boring others think of it."
"HmmâŚ" Tighnari mumbles. "I can understand that."
"And threeâŚ" Alhaitham puts down his cup. "Whenever she reaches out for my hand, like when she wants to comfort me, she stops short of actually holding it."
"She does?" asks Kaveh.
"Interesting. So it seems that while she does display some sort of affection for you," says Tighnari, "perhaps she just didn't want you to get the wrong idea."
"So you're doubting my conclusion?"
"I'm simply saying it's difficult to judge based on the evidence you've provided. We may need to observe the two of you for ourselves."
Alhaitham sighs. This isn't going anywhere.
"Does she have any reason to not want to date you?" Cyno asks. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were overly critical of her, commenting on her every action."
"I give her nothing but compliments. She knows I think very highly of her."
"Huh," Tighnari says. "That's quite unexpected."
"I've been telling you guys," Kaveh says, "but he's really something else around her."
"Is she⌠actually older than you by any chance?" asks Tighnari.
"She is."
"Hmm⌠Well this changes things. Perhaps, she still sees you as a kid and is simply just doting on you."
Kaveh turns to Alhaitham, eagerly waiting for his reply.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "She's less than a couple of years older than me. It's not a big deal."
"Just admit that you're friend-zoned," says Kaveh. "Who'd treat their love interest like a kid?"
"I'm not so sureâŚ" Cyno says.
Both Kaveh and Tighnari raise a brow.
"I think that Alhaitham has a clearer picture and can judge more accurately than any of us. They've known each other for long enough."
"It's just his wishful thinking on his part," says Kaveh. "Who wouldn't want to read into their crush's actions?"
"I agree to an extent," says Tighnari, "but perhaps we're missing some crucial information here. We don't know how well Alhaitham can judge a person's actions when romantic feelings are involved."
"I'm thinking quite clearly, thanks," Alhaitham says.
"This is why you aren't getting anywhere," Kaveh scolds him. "You're assuming she has feelings for you when she doesn't. You still need to win her over."
"Then what do you suggest I do?" Alhaitham crosses his arms.
"Ha. As if I'd help you. She could do way better than you anyway."
Alhaitham groans. Why is he even part of this conversation?
"Well, have you ever told her how you felt?" asks Cyno.
"Of course," replies Alhaitham. "I'm pretty obvious about it."
"For someone as reserved as you, I highly doubt that," Cyno adds.
"I wrote her a letter, eloquently expressing my love for her."
"Pfft. What?" Kaveh snorts.
Tighnari stares in disbelief. "Oh. I get it. You did that when you were children."
"I'm referring to the one I gave her yesterday."
"Pfft."
"That's⌠pretty obvious," Tighnari adds.
"I bet it was more of an essay than a love letter," Kaveh says with a smirk.
"Well, in that case, she either doesn't like you," says Tighnari, "or there's something that prevents her from admitting her feelings."
"Perhaps she's intimidated by your position," suggests Cyno.
"It's unlike her to care about those things," Alhaitham says. "She even treats me like a kid at times."
"So you do admit she just thinks of you as a kid," Kaveh says.
Alhaitham doesn't answer.
"Honestly, this case is closed," Kaveh continues. "There's nothing more to it."
"Hmm... Have you tried to make her jealous?" asks Cyno.
"You're still not convinced?" Kaveh is surprised at him.
"Knowing the result of that would likely draw us closer to a conclusion," Tighnari adds.
"Why would I purposely try to hurt her?" asks Alhaitham.
They exchange glances. Alhaitham still had the ability to make them go speechless with his matter-of-fact tone.
"Well, he's definitely serious about her," says Cyno.
"I told you," Kaveh says. "Seems like she's the only person he'd open up to as well."
"Of course she is," Alhaitham replies.
"I wonderâŚ" says Tighnari. "Has she ever shared her own struggles with you?"
"Why would that be a factor?"
"Well, that would display how comfortable she is around you."
"Hmm⌠Not badâŚ" Alhaitham seems to agree with his line of reasoning.
He goes quiet and uncomfortably so because the other three exchange awkward glances at each other in the meantime.
"Well?" Cyno breaks the silence.
"You may be right," Alhaitham tells Tighnari with a sigh. "But that certainly raises more questions."
"Can we just start playing Genius Invokation TCG?" asks Kaveh. "We just keep going in circles with this topic."
"So you guys did just drag me out to play cards," says Alhaitham.
"It would be interesting to meet her," says Tighnari. "It's gotten me curious."
"Same here," says Cyno.
Kaveh looks up at the tavern entrance. "Huh? She's actually here."
Alhaitham's eyes flicker open for a brief moment. "Nice try. I'm not falling for that."
"I didn't expect to see you here, Alhaitham," you say, ruffling his hair.
He freezes and the three of them take a closer look at his face.
"I never expected him to have that kind of expression," whispers Tighnari.
"Me neither," Cyno agrees.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "They simply invited me here for some cards," he tells you. "Nothing more."
"Can I join?" you ask.
Without question, Alhaitham gets up from his chair. He holds the back of his seat and slides it out, gesturing for you to take it.
Cyno and Tighnari widen their eyes.
"Is it just me or did that feel kind of odd?" says Tighnari.
"Coming from him? You're not wrong there," adds Cyno.
You hesitate for a moment before you accept his kindness and take his seat. He stands next to you, waiting for the other guys to start preparing the game.
The two onlookers feel slightly uncomfortable for some reason while Kaveh tells them another round of 'I-told-you-so's. There isn't anything out of the ordinary as you all take your turns playing each other. Cyno is intense as usual, not just with his tactics but also with how he approaches the battle like an interrogation. Tighnari was calm and collected even under pressure, and Kaveh spoke his mind with every move, regardless of whether it's his or his opponent's. But having you there with Alhaitham is⌠strange.
Nothing really happens of significance. The two of you treat each other well and with respect. Just having Alhaitham being a complete gentleman around you is unnerving for the rest of them. Curt responses and sarcastic remarks are absent. He's completely agreeable with you and his usual temper isn't there either. Everyone plays the game in peace.
"You should save that card for later," Alhaitham tells you. "He can't do anything for the rest of the round anyway."
"Hmm⌠I'm not quite sure if that's what I want to do yet," you respond.
"Alright," he says. "You should do what you think is best."
"This guyâŚ" Kaveh turns to you. "How do you get him to be like that? If it were any of us, he would've scolded us with a lengthy explanation about how we'd lose if we didn't follow his exact instructions."
"What? She can think for herself."
"And none of us can't?"
"I'm already familiar with how the three of you play and where you go wrong. I want to see if she does anything differently."
"It seems that he really does only compliment you, huh?" Tighnari tells you.
"Why would I do otherwise?" Alhaitham states.
His straightforward remark stuns them once again.
"Okay, we get it," says Kaveh. "We all know about your huge crush on her."
"Seems like you can't say anything bad about her even if you try," Cyno comments.
"Of course I can."
"You can?" you ask.
The whole table looks at you funny. You fiddle with the cards in your hand, pretending you weren't shocked for a split second.
"Interesting," says Cyno.
Alhaitham crosses his arms. "What is it?"
"I'm keeping my observations to myself for now."
Alhaitham raises a brow, but lets it go for the meantime.
A few rounds go by and you help set up for the next. When Alhaitham picks up a die for you from the floor, your hand brushes against his and the die falls off the table once more.
"What's wrong?" Alhaitham asks as he picks up the die again. "You're not usually this clumsy."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with me," you say.
He takes a closer look at you and you avoid his eyes. "Alright," he says. "You still ready to play?"
"I'll need to head out soon," Tighnari says. "It's my turn to be on patrol for tonight."
"Hold on," Cyno says, placing his cards on the table. "One last round. I'll be your opponent this time," he tells you.
You finish setting up the game and test your skills against Cyno. He certainly doesn't make it easy for you. You fall behind pretty quickly, but at least he's not as intimidating as when he played with some of the others.
"So," Cyno says, "what do you think of Alhaitham?"
Your eyes widen at his sudden question.
"You're straight up asking her?" says Kaveh.
"Why not?"
"I guess he has a point," says Tighnari.
They turn their attention to you to see what you'd say.
"WellâŚ" you say, "he's very intelligent and talented."
"No, not what everyone else says," says Cyno. "What you think."
"What do you think you're doing?" asks Alhaitham. "Are you interrogating her right now?"
"Just let her answer the question."
"WellâŚ" you say, "he's nice? And sweet?"
Cyno raises a brow.
"He's cute?"
"Pfft." Kaveh holds in his laughter.
Cyno ignores him and presses the question.
"I don't know how to respond," you tell him. "We've known each other for so long I can't just sum it up in a sentence."
"Alright. I'll get straight to the point," says Cyno. "What do you think of Alhaitham's feelings for you?"
"I think he should get to know other people⌠and try dating someone else?"
"See?" says Kaveh.
"I've already told you I'm not interested in anyone else," Alhaitham says.
"No, you should listen to her answer," Cyno tells him. "She's not lying."
"What?" Alhaitham widens his eyes.
"I'm not done yet," says Cyno. "There's more." He turns to you. "How serious do you think Alhaitham is about you?"
"He's definitely sincere."
"I'm pretty sure that was obvious," says Tighnari.
"But you don't take his feelings seriously," Cyno tells you.
"It's not that. It's justâŚ"
"You don't?" asks Alhaitham.
"Alright. It's your turn from here," Cyno tells him.
"But I thought I was clear," Alhaitham tells you.
"You were."
"Apparently not clear enough."
"Look. You used to follow me around like a duckling whenever you weren't reading a book," you tell him. "How was I supposed to take your crush on me seriously?"
"It's been more than a decade since then."
"I... Okay, fair enough," you concede. "But it would disappear once you learned I didn't live up to your expectations."
"What expectations?" Alhaitham raises his brow.
"I don't know. That I'm this perfect woman that you've been pining for more than half your life. You'd know I'm not so great if you'd actually try liking someone else."
"Is that what you've been telling yourself?"
"You never say anything bad about me."
"Why would I want to talk about your flaws? Especially when I've been trying to win you over," he says. "Besides, aren't they obvious to you?"
"What?" You're genuinely surprised. "Like what?"
"Like how stupid you're being right now."
You freeze.
"Besides, I've been around you long enough," Alhaitham continues. "There's plenty I don't like. Like the way you cut me off at timesâ"
"What?"
"âor your atrocious styleâ"
"Okay, that one hurt a bitâ"
"âor how stupid do you have to be to keep asking Kaveh for money â"
"Alright. I get it."
"âor that time youâ"
"Okay! I get it! You like me!"
Kaveh looks at you as if you've grown another head. "How did you come to that conclusion? Are we even listening to the same conversation?"
"I think she's finally realized that his feelings were deeper than she initially thought," says Tighnari. "Especially since she knows that Alhaitham is still objective with her and not blinded with infatuation."
"That's right," Cyno says. "She's been the exception to his behavior for a long time. It makes sense she would think his judgment would be clouded with the information she had."
You hide your face from them. It's embarrassing how they read you like a book once your guard was down.
"I didn't expect the solution to be so simple," Alhaitham says.
He slips his hand into yours and you let out a little squeak. "You've also been wanting to hold my hand for some time haven't you?"
"Ugh. You're all smug now because you know that I return your feelings."
"I also don't like how you rearranged my bookcase."
"You can stop now."
"I think it's time for us to go," says Cyno.
"But we haven't finished our match yet," you tell him.
"I'll just forfeit this one."
"I'm with you on that," says Kaveh. "Anything before they start being gross with each other."
"I guess this is a good time for me to head out as well," says Tighnari.
The two of you are suddenly left alone at the table with a bunch of dice in front of you.
"Well, that's one way to win a match," Alhaitham tells you. "I'd say it's pretty ingenious actually."
You simply groan. You know what's coming.
"Do you want me to help you win every time?"
"Please don't."
*****
I hope you liked it. :)
This is one of those fics I wish had inline commenting like on Wattpad. I would've loved to see how everyone reacted at certain parts in real time but unfortunately Tumblr doesn't have that.
Anyway, you can find links to my masterlist and taglist on my pinned post if you want to check out more of my writing.
#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham scenarios#alhaitham fluff#alhaitham fanfic#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact scenarios#genshin scenarios#genshin x reader#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact fanfics#genshin fluff#cyno#tighnari#kaveh
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More Apothecary!Reader thoughts.
They realise Twilight's 'situation' a lot quicker than anyone would have thought (probably before he even told the others). Our dear apothecary is constantly having to play detective back at the palace, there's no way they don't figure it out.
Twilight: How did you find out I was Wolfie? I haven't told anyone that. [Name]: Well, let's see. You have the same markings, I've never seen you two in the same place at the same time, and neither has anyone else, I've noticed your sharper fangs and senses, as well as your sometimes feral behaviour, and Wolfie is way more intelligent than a wolf should ever be. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.
They're legit the one with the brain cell 97% of the time. The only time they aren't is when they're geeking out over herbs they found/when making medicine.
It's like there's this invisible 'common sense' switch among the group. Before [Name] joined, it would constantly flip between them all depending on the situation. However, after your little accident, the switch is almost always pointing in your direction.
Random villager: I understand the importance of having a healer around, but... Are they really the best you've got? Time: They have extensive knowledge of medicine that is unmatched by anyone else we've ever met. Also, they are our group's common sense. [Name]: *giggling evilly while picking plants from the ground and bushes* Time: They are our most valuable asset.
I've been thinking about this, but the Chain probably doesn't know about CPR. Medicine in Hyrule is all about potions and fairy magic, things like that, even in the games when you faint it cuts to black and the npcs just kinda wait for you to wake up. Imagine how the others freak out when one of them is downed and you preform mouth-to-mouth for the first time.
Human medicine, because it doesn't use any magic, is not instant, but is a lot more thorough. I hc that because potions/fairies are so fast with the healing, the recipient also gets hit with all of the pain at once (thank you, Dungeon Meshi for this). On the other hand, potions and fairies can't really do much in case of things like infections/illnesses/aches/cramps/concussions (pretty much anything that isn't an open wound/broken bone). I mean, they do help, but they're simply not as effective in certain situations. Meanwhile, humans have invented medicines for all those other things and more.
#linked universe x reader#lu x reader#linked universe imagines#lu imagines#ta'stg#the apothecary's travel guide
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Feels like home
A small something based on the new official illustration. A very loose Kenma x reader story
âSo, have you heard about your third years?â Yachi asks you as you refill your team's water bottles outside of Nekomaâs gym, the four schools taking a break from practice.
With Nationals finishing last year came many things, not only a new winner and standards for the next Interhigh, but most importantly, the realization that a new school year was starting soon after so many tiring days. For Nekoma was not different, after losing to Karasuno and properly closing the Nationals chapter, you went back into your typical practices only to realize one thing: your third years weren't coming anymore.
Your boyfriend, Kenma, didn't seem to care much; not even for the last day of the third years in the club, when Kuroo announced that Yamamoto was going to be the new captain, he showed any different emotions, at most he only looked at his best friend annoyed when he tried to give him a hug. But you knew him better. Sure, while practicing he still was his lazy self, but the closer the days came to the final ceremony, the more you saw him getting anxious. A bit more clingier in public, much more when you were together in the safety of his home, barely even letting you go away from him so you can go to the bathroom.
On the night of their final ceremony he didn't even play games, holding you as if you were going to disappear as well.Â
Soon after he started to become himself fully again, not only the extensive practices helped him, but unlike previous years, now he had you by his side to help him to get used to this new year.
And with a new year, comes more practice and more training camps.
âYeah, Yaku-san went pro, Kai-san is studying to be an arborist and Kuro is studying some business thingyâ you answer the now second year Yachi âYou?â
âI mostly talk with Kiyoko-san, but I heard thatâŚâ you hear her explain what she knew about her old teammates, what they were doing now and how much they talked. It was weird considering that despite them not physically being here with you, your third years texted you just as much as ever.
After preparing everything you enter the gym again only to find Kenma alongside the previous first years from Karasuno. You went to sit beside him as he shows something to Kayegama on his phone
â....but i heard that Italy has the best teams overall, maybe you should aim for a team thereâ Kenma says to the younger boy as he takes your hand, leaning his head in your shoulderÂ
âI see, i seeâ
âYou'll need to study English for that, Tobio-kunâ you joke
âI've gotten better, Yn-san!â
âHave you, though? I heard from someone that you got a 32 in your last testâ
âHinata boke!â Kageyama goes to fight with Hinata as you chuckle alongside your boyfriendÂ
âLook at you too, looking up stats about volleyball to know which country is the bestâ you joke to Kenma
âI do like the sport, i just rather watch itâ he scoffs, kissing your cheek quicklyÂ
âHello kiddosâ you hear a familiar voice coming from the door, a spiky, messy, black hair and a smug smile on his lips âyou two! Don't make out in front of the kids!â
âPlease, shut up, they'll surviveâ you sigh as Kenma rolls his eyes
âYoungsters this daysâ Kuroo smirks as you two stand up to say hi to him, you going to hug him
âAren't you supposed to be in university? What are you doing here?â Kenma asksÂ
âYeah, I thought university students were supposed to be busyâ Tsukishima joins Kenma âguess not everyone is busy, even in uniâ
âYou're hurting me, kidsâ
âKuroo-san! How are you!â You heard Hinata starting to talk with Kuroo, distracting him with questions.
You feel a pair of arms in your waist as Kenma chuckles at Hinata, you put Kenmaâs hair behind his ear as he smiles softly at you with tired eyes. You look at the boys in front of you, Hinata and Yamaguchi talking with Kuroo, Tsukishima and Kageyama talking with Kenma; the whole scene make you feel somehow cozy at how much their friendship has grown and how lucky you were to be part of it.
#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagines#kenma x reader#hq imagines#hq fluff#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo x reader#kenma imagine#hq kenma#kenma x you#kenma x y/n#kenma imagines#kenma scenario#hinata headcanons#haikyuu kageyama#kageyama x y/n#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu fanfic#kenma fluff#kuroo fluff#hinata fluff#kageyama fluff#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima fluff#haikyuu!!#hq headcanons
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im ab to be annoying ab dimension20 fhjy but im genuinely loving the character arcs for the bad kids this season?
kristen going from self-annihilatingly stupid to trying to build a genuine bridge with the man who not only wielded the religion that traumatised her (bobby dawn), but also was trying to ruin her life, just bc she thought a grieving father ought to be comforted in some way? her genuine distress at being unable to revivify buddy even though the two had only had negative interactions, or her biting her tongue in front of her parents so she could better look after her little siblings? grappling with the fact that she still, on some level, expected practising religion to be easy and convenient for her as a holdover from an entire childhood spent being a Chosen One, and finally putting her nose to the grindstone and committing to working her ass off for a deity that couldn't even benefit her for a hot minute? making an effort to be cordial with tracker's new gf and letting go of that codependency? the kristen applebees from ep20 would NOT do all the same stupid shit as ep1 and i love that.
fabian being humbled by the narrative again and again has been an absolute treat for his character. the whole ivy/mazey situation was great: freshman/sophomore year fabian would've gone for ivy no sweat, i mean her character seemed pretty similar to pre-redemption aelwyn and he had a huge crush on her then. but this time, when he realised he'd hurt a genuinely great person, and intentionally swallowed his pride to make it up to mazey, even though it required him being 'uncool' with the whole twister thing. his general arc of learning that earnestness and humility doesn't make him less of a man felt like a natural extension of fabian defining his own version of masculinity- sure, a 'maximum legend', but also someone deeply involved in the arts, and someone who is less afraid of saying sorry and being vulnerable in front of someone he likes
fig. fig fig fig. what a woman. its been absolutely fascinating watching build her sense of identity over these three seasons. at her core, fig is a character that loves so deeply. in freshman, she was terrified of the depth of her own devotion, so she tried to distance herself emotionally from everyone. in sophomore, she built herself around that love for other people. in junior year, fig's arc has been learning she can do both: that she's defined by her love for others, but not solely by it. ik emily wanted to retire the character before this season but i think fig's paladin arc was the best capstone to her journey possible.
gorgug's arc has been about establishing clear boundaries for himself and i love it. im aware there's been some Discourse ab the mango soda scene but to me that was pretty easily chalked up to teenage insecurity. a big part of gorgug's arc was trying to believe in himself when everyone around him told him he was too dumb to follow his passion- imagine struggling in an area that you have no natural aptitude for, and someone comes along and also trounces you in the one area you thought you were the best in. i'd be petty and reactive too (gorgug follows up calling her a freak with the fact that she beat the shit out of him, so its clearly him just still smarting from a bruised ego and not actual malice). in general, i've really like gorgug learning to put his foot down and say enough is enough without completely losing his gentleness.
adaine hasnt had an obvious arc, but considering she addressed most of her baggage in the first two seasons, i'm not surprised. i would've liked to see the other bad kids address her 'teenage adult' behaviour, but her self-awareness about it and relying on fabian to pull in clutch for the oracool stuff still felt like she'd learned to rely on her friends at least + her reaching out to aelwyn and the two of them healing from their parents together has been rewarding it its own right.
riz is perfect and has learned nothing. his neuroticism is part of his natural swag
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#dimension 20 fhjy#dimension 20#adaine abernant#figeroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#kristen applebees#riz gukgak
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