#and I've gotten rid of a lot over the years

[poppyies]

I counted all my physical media for fun, I guess. Anyway here's the numbers if you're interested :D

Books (+comics) - 248

Games - 10 (I'm not much of a gamer)

Blu rays - 1

CDs - 10

DVDs - 66

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

i think one of the main things i've always loved about singers is the way they can just let go and sing as loud as they want and you can hear it in their voice, how unhindered they are and how much practice it must have taken to get to be able to control their voice like that

meanwhile i am one of the quietest people on earth that struggles to speak up to a hearable volume, or sometimes can't speak at all, even if i really want to

and hearing them be able to do that, inside it makes me kind of feel how they must feel, what kind of release that must be to just let all of that out

i always feel some kind of second-hand feeling from it in my chest when i hear them do it and it makes me want to do it too

[dredshirtroberts]

okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

[kinda-daily-warriorcat]

Today I found an old reference sheet of one of my oldest Warrior Cat OCs and realized I probably haven't drawn her in 7 years and decided to change that

Old art under the cut

Nov 14 2015

[demilypyro]

I have a long history of self-hatred.

Hating myself is what used to drive me. The only thing on my mind was... fixing myself somehow. Finding a way to not be so hateable anymore.... And I've found that that was wrong. Because every time I failed, every time I made a mistake, lost a friend, said the wrong thing, I would just hate myself more. And I've found that while regretting your mistakes can put you back on the right path, hating yourself for them keeps you exactly where you are. I couldn't move forward, because I didn't think I deserved to.

Something happened recently that shocked me. A let's player I'd always admired got cancelled. I'd looked up to this person for years, I admired their work ethic, their personable vibe, and especially their ability to keep their nose clean. One reason to hate myself was because I couldn't stay away from controversy as well as this person could... so much for that, right? I've gotten a lot of shit flung at me, but at least I've never trended on twitter... But in a way, that opened a new door for me. It's like they were dragged down to my level. If even that person I admired had such big flaws, maybe having flaws wasn't a reason to hate myself. And if I got so much out of content by a flawed person, maybe what I do can still be worth something even if it's made by a flawed person like me.

At risk of getting even more corny, I recently played Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth on stream, and I cried through the ending. But maybe not on the scenes other people were crying over. What had me crying, spoilers, was the scene at the end where main character Ichiban.... forgives his villain. This is a man who has wronged him, a man who set basically all the events of the story in motion, a man who caused Ichiban and a lot of other people in the story a lot of pain and suffering... but Ichiban just doesn't hate him. The thesis of the game seems to be that no matter what you've done, no matter how far you fall, you can always start over and do better next time. And that's what I cried over. If Ichiban could forgive someone this horrible, someone whose mistakes are gargantuan next to mine, then surely he'd forgive me too. And if he could forgive me, then surely I must have something to offer. I felt like he was encouraging me in my efforts to be better.

So I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I can't fix my mistakes, and I can't get rid of all my faults, but I can dust myself off and try to do better next time, and not hate myself when I fail. I can hold fast in the belief that I'm doing the best I can, and that I'll be forgiven by people who recognize my effort. I can believe that being flawed is not the same as being worthless.

[thinkingaboutbetterdays]

meeting house. ( james wilson x reader )

gif belongs to me

The friendship between James and Greg had lasted far longer than any of his marriages. When you met the cynical diagnostician after he followed James during his lunch break to a café you were meeting at, you knew how important he was to your boyfriend and how exasperated James could be with him sometimes. House crashed your lunch date and started grilling you about your past and your relationship with James who tried to get him to leave.

You sent him a smile to reassure him that it was okay and allowed House to ask questions he designed to test your responses.

"How do you find his sexual prowess? Satisfactory?"

"House!"

You giggled as you ate a fry. "Very."

James raised an eyebrow at your reply, looking at House when he continued, "And you aren't worried about his failed marriages and his serial cheating?"

"Okay, that's enough."

"No." You pushed your plate closer when House ate your fries, leaning your arms on the table, mirroring him. "My sexual prowess is very satisfactory."

A slight smirk formed on House's lips and he looked at James who sat in stunned silence. "Is it?"

"Is what?"

House rolled his eyes, "Is sex with her very satisfactory?"

"I am not discussing this with you." James enunciated every word, sighing as he attempted to convince House to leave.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt."

"What does?" James looked between you both, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend, masking your amusement. "You don't think sex with me is great?"

"What? No - well, yes! Of course, it is! But do we need to discuss our sex life in a crowded diner?" James pouted, panicking at the thought of you being upset with him.

"Aw, he's blushing!"

You smiled when House teased him, and James smacked his hand away before he could pinch his cheek.

House stood up, leaning on his cane. "This isn't over." He took a handful of fries from your plate. "Thanks for the fries." He walked away and you looked at James who was trying to process the last twenty minutes.

"So are you satisfied with sex with me or not?"

Your casual tone broke his thoughts and he shook his head as he leaned closer. "Our sex is incredible. Right?"

You smiled, pecking his lips. "Good answer."

James observed for a moment as you continued eating lunch. "You know, you handled that much better than, well, anyone who comes into contact with House."

You shrugged, "I like him. It was entertaining."

"No, no, that's how he gets you. He tricks you into thinking it's fun but really we're all lab rats in a big cage. Trust me, I've known him a long time and I can't get rid of him."

You giggled as he began to eat his lunch. You knew that despite the banter between them, they cared a lot about each other.

Over the years you got used to having House in your life and to James's relief and dismay you both got along much better than any of his past wives. Although House still asked inappropriate questions or made remarks, but you left him speechless more than once with your responses.

You were willing to indulge his madness at times and James regretted not dragging House out of the diner as the two of you had gotten along so well ever since. You were the first woman House had ever approved of and James couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.

On days like today, he was more inclined to believe the latter.

He entered exam room two in the clinic and sighed when he saw House drawing blood from your arm. You both lifted your heads as he closed the door.

"Hi, honey." You greeted him with a smile.

"Hi, honey." House echoed with a smirk.

"What are you doing?"

"We're taking it to the lab to test it." You explained.

James huffed, turning to glare at House who removed the needle and pressed a cotton ball where he had drawn blood. "What did I tell you about doing experiments with my wife?" 

"It'll be cool and I was bored."

"It'll be cool and she was bored. I was bored, and now you're all caught up."

James glanced at the ceiling, summoning the remaining crumbs of his patience as he put his hands in the pockets of his white coat. "She is not a pin cushion whenever you want to get out of clinic hours."

"I know, but she looks so hot doing it."

"This is the last time you run tests on my wife. I mean it."

House slowly nodded, seeing the anger concealed in his eyes. If you weren't in the room, he was sure James would've punched him by now.

"Can we still test this one?" You looked at your husband hopefully.

James waved a hand, "Sure."

You grinned, hopped off the chair, and looped your arm with his as you kissed his cheek. "Love you."

"I love you too. Seriously, no more tests. And no more House."

"Finally, I can catch up on my sleep. Does she always talk that much?" House led the way out of the exam room and you glared at his back as you followed him out of the clinic to the elevator.

"Hey! You asked how my day was going."

"The only acceptable response to that question is one-word answers. I don't need a full account of everything you did, and the people you spoke to."

You looked at your husband, "Can I kick him over?"

"Children, behave." He chuckled when you swatted his chest as you got into the elevator.

"If you don't want to know how my day is going, don't ask. But if you call to whine about a patient I will hang up."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Finer."

"That's not a word." House scoffed, hitting the button with his cane.

You turned to James, tugging on the lapels of his coat, "You have never looked finer." His lips curved upward in amusement when you smugly smirked at House. "It's a word. My husband defines the word."

James placed a hand on your back, shaking his head as you and House continued bickering back and forth, sarcastic remarks bouncing off the elevator walls.

"You know, I really regret the day you two met."

"Me too," House replied.

You turned, hitting his arm.

"Ow!"

James looked at the ceiling, shaking his head with a sigh, although there was a small smile on his lips. Despite the bickering between you and his best friend, he knew you cared about each other. When House invited you to the hospital, he knew it was the cynical doctor's way of bonding with you and ever since you were introduced he had run multiple tests and sometimes fudged the results to make it seem like you had an illness. One day, James had been worried sick, and when House revealed the truth, he had punched him in the hallway. 

House leaned forward to whisper in his ear as you exited the elevator. "Say the word and I will infect her with a disease that will -"

"Don't finish that sentence."

[golbrocklovely]

careful what you wish for // sam and colby (pt. 5)

A/N: hey yall… long time no see with this fic. so, i'm gonna be honest with you, this one is rough in about every way you can imagine. idk why i felt the need to do all of this in this fic, but just be prepared when you read it. thank you for all of the love and support you guys have given me on this fic and the past 12 nights of other content I've been giving you. it means the world to me that you guys continue to stick around and read my shit lol thanks again, lmk what you think, and happy halloween !!

prompt: it's been a year since you last saw sam and colby. you hit up jess, your friend, to see if she can give you the magic spell book to finally get rid of them. but sam and colby know your plan, and they won't be taking this attempt to kill them too kindly. || vampire!sam and demon!colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, like…. so much smut, supernatural powers being used on you, coming on command, multiple orgasms for Y/N, snc are fucking MEAN in this so just a forewarning, very possessive, you're being punished for being a bad girl, edging, watching sam fuck jess your bestie, don't worry she ends up not being real lol, cursing, magic, degrading and praising language, cliffhanger ending??, mentions of: princess, baby girl, good girl, slut, plaything, toy, sex doll, a lot of OURS mentions too, snc threaten you a bunch as well but flip back and forth between being nice and mean, dubcon just to be safe… so if none of that sounds like something you want to read turn back now :)

word count: 5945

You took a deep breath, stepping out of the uber. You strutted into the bar, anxiety hitting you once inside. You searched around, until finally stopping on Jess. You waved, walking over to her.

She stood up, giving you a quick hug, "Wow, Y/N. It's been so long! How have you been? You look great."

"Thanks, Jess. I know, it feels like forever since we last saw each other." You answered honestly.

"Yeah, I think the last time was..." Her voice trailed off, thinking.

"The book." You deadpanned.

She nodded, "Right. The book."

You sat down, your eyes looking her over, "Speaking of, do you have it?"

"Of course. I saw your text to bring it so I did." She pulled it out, sliding it across the table. It still looked the same, leather bound and old, and the sight of it made your heart flutter.

You sighed, "I appreciate you doing this. I wasn't sure if you were still mad at me from last time or-"

"No, no. I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you. Obviously, if someone had told me a magic book was going to make me a boyfriend, I too would have thought they were crazy," Jess laughed. "Well, I guess in your case, two boyfriends."

"Yeah about that... that's why I need this book." You admitted.

"You want to get rid of them? Why?" She asked, leaning in.

"They've been gone for a while now. They pop into my dreams, but haven't been around in about a year. The last time I saw them..." Your mind flooded with the previous time, months back, of them fucking you in front of all your coworkers. None of them remembered the next day, but you did. The images alone made it hard to look anyone in the eye anymore. Your face heated up, "I'll just say it was the last time I truly wanted to see them. They have gone too far and I just don't know how much more I can take from them."

Her expression softened. "I can only imagine what dating a vampire and a demon would be like."

"Dating is the nicest way to describe what we have. It's more of a... free use situationship." You huffed, "But I can't deal with it anymore. I want a normal life, no matter what they claim."

"What do they say?" She inquired. 

"They say I enjoy this, what we do. And while that is true to some extent, I can't keep living like this. I mean, how much longer am I supposed to keep having them show up randomly in my life to fuck my brains out? Sure, I enjoy it in the moment, but afterwards I feel embarrassed." You divulged, lowering your eyes to the table.

"I mean, if you like it you shouldn't feel ashamed." She remarked.

"Well, I do. And I just want them gone. I think I've paid my dues back entirely to this book." You gaze down at it, stroking the cover, "I'm sorry. Please help me get rid of them."

She snickered, "How about we don't do that in the middle of this bar?"

"That's probably a good idea." You placed the book next to you, exhaling. "So, how has your dating life been since the book shut? Please tell me it went back to normal so that I might have something to look forward to."

"Oh yeah, it's been normal alright. Some highs, some lows." She chuckled, "Speaking of, I actually invited one of the guys I've been seeing to come here."

"That's cool. Is he nice?" You questioned.

"Yeah, super sweet. And he plans to bring his best friend with him. So, if you wanna stick around and meet him, maybe you can start this new chapter sooner rather than later?" She suggested, beaming mischievously.

You shrugged, "Sounds good to me. Let's get a drink first though."

"Already ordered. Should be here... now." Jess smiled at the waitress, who placed down two drinks. "Thank you."

You raised your drink, "Cheers... to new beginnings."

"Cheers." She raised her glass, clinking it with yours. You both sipped on your drinks, nodding at the taste. Jess' phone buzzed on the table, she glanced down and beamed. "Oh, they're here."

You nodded, waiting uncomfortably. You weren't sure if you were really in the mood to meet these two new guys, but you figured you'd stay to finish your drink and then leave. No harm, no foul.

"Hey baby girl, how you doing?" A familiar voice spoke, walking up to Jess and embracing her.

You glanced up. Your stomach dropped and your heart sped up. This can't be happening.

"Hey Sam. This is my friend Y/N." Jess introduced.

"Hello, nice to meet you." Sam grinned, then pointed next to you. "And this is my friend Colby."

"Hi." Colby stated simply, locking eyes with you. His face was cold, with just a hint of a devilish glint.

You shuttered a breath, chest heavy. "There's no fucking way..."

"What? What's wrong?" Jess furrowed her brow.

"I-I, I can't do this. No. I absolutely won't do this." You slid out of your seat, shoving Colby and walking towards the bathrooms. You could hear them call after you, but you ignored them. You needed to leave, you knew that. But you wanted to just be away from them for a moment to get your bearings.

You stumbled into the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall. You took some deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. You were okay, you were in control, and there was no way that this was going to start up again. Sam and Colby were just fucking with you, once again, and you were not going to allow that to happen. You had the book, and so you-

FUCK, the book! The book was still on the table.... now with Sam and Colby.

You covered your face with your hands, muffling a scream of frustration. You grunted, pushing the stall door open and exiting the bathroom.

You stomped back into the bar, freezing the moment you did. The table was empty, Jess, the boys, and the book were nowhere to be found. There was, however, a small note on the table. You grabbed it, reading it quickly.

If you want to see the book again, come to the back of the bar.

- Sam and Colby

You spun on your heel, retracing your steps. You passed the bathrooms, continuing to walk down the hallway. You had been to this bar a couple times before, knowing that the back area was for special occasions, parties. As you drew closer to the room, you noticed the red lights illuminating the hallway and door. You swallowed hard, turning the knob and stepping into the room.

It was dark, and very hard to make out anything in it. You knew there were tables and chairs around, but you didn't see any from the little vision you had. You raised your hand, trying to feel around for a light switch or something. Suddenly, you felt a hand grab you, shoving you down onto a soft surface. You fought against their hold; pushing, shoving. But it didn't stop them from wrapping something tight around your wrists, pulling them away from your body. You cursed out whoever was touching you, kicking them hard. They had no reaction to you, just pushing your legs back down onto the surface.

The lights in the room turned on. You blinked rapidly, looking around quickly. You were on a bed, tied to the bedpost by your wrist. At the end of the bed stood Sam and Colby, smiling at you.

"Princess, so glad you could join us." Colby quipped.

Sam nodded, "We've missed you so much."

"Fuck you! What the hell is this shit for?" You yelled, shaking against your binds.

"You know, we could ask you the very same thing about..." Colby pulled the book out from behind his back, "This."

"Care to explain why you have this?" Sam asked innocently.

"Just gonna do some light reading." You sneered.

Colby rolled his eyes, "You don't really have room to play coy with us, Y/N. You might want to start explaining yourself."

"I have nothing to say to you." You spat.

"Is that so? Then I guess you're okay with this." Sam pulled out a silk cloth. You glared at him and the fabric, confused. He slid up the bed, taking the cloth and wrapping it around your head, covering your mouth. You tried to fight against him, but with your arms tied there wasn't much you could do besides rock your body side to side.

"As much as I love your little moans and whimpers, you not being able to talk gets me going just as much." Sam teased, his voice low in your ear.

You rolled your eyes and watched him slithered back down to the end of the bed.

"Now that we've got your complete attention, let's start. First off, princess, how dare you?" Colby scoffed. "We've done nothing but make your life better and this is the thanks we get? You, trying to get rid of us? Bad girl."

"Even though we haven't been around, we have been watching you. And we heard about your little plan to cut us loose. How exactly did you think that would play out for you?" Sam demanded.

Colby stepped closer, glaring down at you. "Do you remember what we said last time? You're ours. We own you. What about that screams 'I have a choice'?"

Sam leaned against the bedpost, "Well, she does have a choice. She just realistically won't make the one that actually sends us away."

"You're right, Sam. You know why? Because she enjoys this. Us. What we do to her." Colby chuckled darkly.

"Exactly. And God knows, if she saw us with someone else, she would lose her mind." Sam taunted.

You grunted against the gag, angrily.

"What was that sweetheart? You're gonna have to speak up." Colby sassed, his eyes cold.

You glared daggers at Colby, cursing him out loudly in your head.

"Ooh, harsh words from such a sweet girl." He slid his hand over his chest, "If I had a heart, it would be broken."

"I have one... It doesn't beat, though. But if it did, it would beat only for you." Sam fluttered his eyelashes at you jokingly.

"Always the romantic, Sam." Colby exhaled, "Anyway, how about we test out our theory? Would you do the honors?"

"Sure." Sam turned to the door, calling, "Jess! Come on out."

Colby narrowed his eyes, mumbling. "I could have yelled for her."

Jess stepped into the room, slowly walking over and standing in between Sam and Colby. Your heart sped up, gazing back and forth between her and them. Was she under their spell? Why was she not reacting?

He pointed between the two of them, "Do you wanna go first or-?"

Sam agreed, "You go ahead. I am the one that's been dating Jess."

"That's true. Jess?" She turned to Colby, her glassy eyes reflecting in the lights. "Start sucking his dick."

Jess nodded, dropping to her knees instantly and undoing Sam's pants. You gasped against the gag, looking away as best you could.

"No no, princess. You need to watch. This is your punishment, after all." Colby marched up to you, turning your head to them. His eyes snaked over your face, smirking. "If looks could kill… I'd be dead again. But anyway, keep looking at them."

Your eyes locked onto Jess and Sam, widening as you realized you couldn't look away.

"Happy Halloween, babe." He warned cockily, "Remember... I'm a lot stronger tonight. And so is Sam."

Jess' head bobbed up and down on Sam's cock, slurping and sucking noises falling from her lips. Sam's hands rested on the back of her head, keeping her rhythm steady. He grew harder and harder in her mouth with her actions. He rolled his head back in pleasure, humming low.

Seeing Sam's dick work itself in and out of her mouth turned you on. You hated admitting it, but it was true. Just the thought of their dicks alone made you wet.

"We told you if you tried to get rid of us, we would have to punish you. So, this is what you deserve. You only have yourself to blame." Colby hissed.

You wanted to roll your eyes, or glare, but they remained on Sam and Jess. You could feel your sex grow slick, your thighs pressing together.

"Oh no sweetheart, you gotta keep your legs apart." Colby grabbed your thighs, forcing them open. You shoved at him with your legs, doing your best to kick him.

"Fine, if you're gonna do that..." He pulled back, snapping his fingers. Suddenly your legs were chained to a bar that separated them from one another. You tried to shimmy your legs, but the bar clicked them further apart.

Colby smirked, "You might want to stop doing that. The more you move your legs, the farther apart they are gonna be. And I have a feeling you don't want to be full spread eagle. Now, I wouldn't be against it-"

"Me neither." Sam chimed in, moaning.

"Him either, but assumingly because of your attitude, you wouldn't like it," he snickered. "Look at me, princess."

You turned your head sharply towards him, your eyes fixating on him. He smiled calmly, looking over your face. "Such a pretty girl."

You cursed at your stomach as it flipped from his words. You hated his affect on you.

"You can say that all you want, Y/N. But you didn't seem to feel that way every. single. time. I've fucked you. That we've fucked you. Do you need a refresher?

Colby placed a single finger in between your breasts, and your mind became flooded with thoughts and memories of your time together with the boys. You could almost feel them inside of you, fucking your cunt roughly and bringing you to the brink of orgasm.

You panted against the gag, feeling pleasure rack your body all over. You shook against the bed, grinding your hips up into the air to relieve some tension, but to no avail. 

"Do you need some help there, baby?" Colby uttered, his face close to yours. 

Sam's voice strained as he fucked Jess' mouth. "Yeah, Colby. Help her out. Maybe she can come when I do."

"Oh, that sounds fun." Colby waved his hand in a figure eight, and you felt a device press itself on your clit. A low vibration began, and your eyes rolled slightly into your head.

"How's that feel, Y/N? Good? Bad? Do you need more?" The vibrations turned up higher, your thighs wanting to clench around the device. "Or less?"

You whined, trying to push yourself harder onto the vibrator. Colby hummed, watching you squirm.

“Watch Sam fuck Jess' mouth.” He commanded.

Your head turned to Sam, taking in everything. He was holding onto Jess' head much harder now, bucking his hips into her mouth quickly. He looked at you, winked, and fucked her mouth harder. Jess enthusiastically gagged, digging her nails into Sam's thighs.

The vibrator grew to a higher intensity, your legs shaking pleasurably. Your heart was ramping up faster and faster, your body starting to feel like it was just coming close to the edge. Part of was jealous of Jess, because all you wanted was Sam to be fucking you like that. Or Colby. Or both.

"If you honestly think you're gonna come right now, you're wrong." Colby whispered harshly in your ear, turning the vibrator down low.

You grunted, wanting to look at him. You fought against your binds, the bar for your legs separating farther.

"I told you to stop doing that, sweetie. Because now, I can turn this up," the vibrator pressed harder into your clit, going to max speed suddenly. "And now, it can get even closer to you and your aching clit."

Sam's eyes met yours, "Baby girl, I'm sorry he's so mean. I swear when I'm done with Jess, I'll make sure to treat you right."

"Remember Y/N, he's the weird one. Don't trust him." Colby taunted, turning the vibrator down again.

"Fuck, I'm getting close. You have such a good mouth, Jess." Sam commented hungrily.

Colby gasped, "How about this, Y/N? Let's play a game. I'll let you come if you admit how jealous you are of Jess."

"Are you jealous, plaything?" Sam cooed mockingly, still fucking Jess' mouth.

Colby turned your head to him, holding your chin in his hand. "Oh, very. Let's see if she'll admit it."

He tore the gag away, a loud breath immediately leaving your lips. "The floor is yours, princess."

You seethed, "Fuck. You."

Aww, she's just playing shy now. Why don't we see how she really feels?" Colby cranked the vibrator up to the max setting, the buzzing loud in your ears.

You whimpered helplessly, thrusting your hips against the toy. You couldn't help it; your clit was throbbing and your mind was fuzzy from watching Sam fuck another girl's mouth. And all you wanted was for one of them to touch you.

This was not how you thought this night would go.

Colby pressed his body closer to yours. You could feel the heat of him rolling off onto you. "Just say how you truly feel, and I'll make sure you come. Speak your mind."

"I'm getting real close-" Sam's hips sped up, his body glistening with sweat. "Fuuuuck! So you better make it quick, slut."

"Come on, Y/N. Tell us the truth. Say you're jealous. Say you want Sam to fuck your mouth like that. Do it!" Colby ordered.

You held your tongue defiantly, whining as it felt like the vibrator grew stronger and stronger against your dripping sex.

He cocked his head to the side, "You're really not gonna speak? Okay, then. Maybe we really have to pull it out of you."

Hands and fingers began touching you all over, caressing your body in the most sensitive places. You rutted against the vibrator, your body having a mind of it's own. You moaned loudly, surprised by the pleasure.

"That's it baby, I know you're getting close. Just say you want to be here, with my cock in your mouth, and you'll get to come." Sam growled, thrusting faster and faster.

You stuttered, your mouth barely able to form words, "F-Fuck, fine. I want your cock in my mouth."

"And what else, princess?" Colby egged on.

"I-I'm jealous of Jess. Please let me come and please fuck my mouth." You whimpered, biting your lip.

"God, your pleas are so pretty. Fuck, I'm gonna come!" Sam bucked his hips hastily, slamming repeatedly into Jess' mouth. She choked and gagged on his dick, taking it effortlessly. He came down her throat, letting out a breathy groan as he did. He slowed his hips, still holding her head in place.

"Do you wanna come, Y/N?" Colby whispered.

You panted, moving your hips faster against the toy. "Yes! Please!"

"I'm happy you're in a better mood now." Colby smiled, then his face dropped. "But no."

The vibration and hands disappeared, leaving your body trembling, "W-What?"

"No. You don't get to come. You have to do much better than that." He snapped his fingers, the binds holding you down disappearing. "Take your clothes off, get on your knees, and masturbate in front of us."

Your body followed Colby's words, dropping down hard. You ripped your clothes off your body desperately. The cool air hit your warm skin, causing your nipples to harden and your whole body to grow chills. Your fingers found your swollen clit, rubbing intensely. You stifled a cried, anger filling your veins as you looked up at Sam and Colby.

"You've done your job, Jess. You can go."

Jess nodded, slowly walking out of the room with tear stained cheeks and cum drooling out of her mouth.

You snarled at them, somehow able to speak while pleasuring yourself. "How dare you do that to her! You guys are fucking sick."

"First off, what the hell did you expect from a demon and a vampire? We're depraved. Sue us." Sam rolled his eyes, annoyed. "And secondly, she wasn't even real."

You narrowed your eyes, your breath quickening. "What? H-How?"

"Magic. It's Halloween baby." Sam chuckled, jumping towards you, "Boo!"

"Jess was really here at one point, but she left a long time ago. Hell, once she gave you the book, she was done. So, the rest has just been in your head." Colby explained.

Sam added proudly, "Made up by us, of course."

"Speaking of the book, let me just pull it back out." Colby flipped through it, skimming over the pages lazily. He sighed, "It sucks I can't read Latin."

Sam scoffed, "Aren't you a demon? Isn't that what you guys do?"

"You know, that is incredibly rude to say. How stereotypical of you to think that, Samuel." Colby frowned disappointedly, "I expected more from you."

"Sorry. I'll do better next time." Sam apologized.

You groaned huskily, trying to stop yourself from masturbating. But your hands kept moving. "Don't you guys get sick of hearing your own voice?!"

Sam shook his head. "No. Not really."

"Oh I'm sorry, princess." Colby's eyes turned black as he lowered himself to your face. His voice thundered off the walls of the room, "Did you expect us to be fucking nice when you got this book to fucking kill us?! You're lucky all we're doing is making you edge. There are lot worse things I could fucking do to you, but this is me playing nice."

Sam gaped, "That gave me chills."

"Shut up, Sam." You jeered.

Sam's eyes turned red, glaring at you. He yanked the book from Colby's hands, flipping open to a page, and tearing it out of the book.

Your voice croaked, "W-What are you doing?!"

"Punishing you. I don't know if that spell was important, but let's hope for your sake it wasn't." Sam retorted.

"Please, don't! I'm sorry! Fuuuck. I'll be a good girl." You whined helplessly.

He snapped, "I'm sure you will. Since that's the only way you're gonna come." 

You suddenly felt a vibrator press against your cunt again. A desperate wail ripped through you, sweat dripping down your back as your body grew hotter and hotter.

Colby cupped your face, making you look up at him and Sam. "Tell us the truth, Y/N. How did watching Sam fuck Jess make you feel?"

You felt your mouth speak, but you had no choice on what you were saying. The truth spilled out of you. "I-I hated it. Oh my God, I hated it! I wished it was me."

"And what about now? What do you want?" Sam asked teasingly.

You bounced on the vibrator, pushing yourself against it harder. "I want to come! I want you to fuck me! Please!! Fuck, please please. I just need to come so badly."

Colby leaned in, "Who do you belong to?"

"You!" You exclaimed.

Sam repeated, "Who do you belong to?"

"Y-You!" You looked at him, pleading.

"That's it baby. Get right to the edge, I know. I know you wanna come. Do it for me. Get right there, get right there!" Colby commanded, nodding as you did what you were told.

Your fingers rubbed faster and faster, the vibrator matching your speed. You panted and whimpered, feeling yourself get right to the edge. You knew any second now you were going to come. All you could think about was coming and having Sam and Colby fuck you.

Colby smiled, "Stop touching yourself."

Your hands dropped to your sides, the vibrator disappearing. Your eyes welled up, your body still shaking with ecstasy, ready to fall over the edge at any second. A strangled cry heaved in your chest, your eyes boring into Sam and Colby's.

"Don't look so sad, baby girl. We would never leave you unsatisfied." Sam rubbed your hair softly for a moment, "Get on the bed for us."

"Lay on your back. Keep your legs and head off the bed." Colby instructed.

You did as you were told, stumbling awkwardly to the bed again. You laid down, allowing your legs to dangle off one side and your head on the other. Colby was suddenly at your feet, naked and spreading your legs wide. You felt the bar back again, keeping your legs locked and apart. He took the bar and put it around his neck, keeping your legs up. Your feet rested on his shoulder as he gazed down at your soaked pussy.

"It pains me to torture you like this, princess. Do you know how hard you've made me?" He groaned, stroking himself, "My cock has just been dying to bury itself inside you. Exactly where it belongs."

"Hi, toy. You ready for me to use your throat? That's what you wanted, right?" Sam appeared above you, his shaft dangling just above your mouth.

You nodded, unable to form words with how horny you were.

They both filled you up at the same time, not even giving you a warning. They groaned in unison, your moans muffled by Sam's cock deep within your throat. They stilled their hips, pushing all the way to the hilt until they couldn't no more.

Colby sighed happily, "The best days of my life are when I'm inside of you, Y/N. Your cunt is like heaven."

"I don't know which one is better, her mouth or her pussy. But either way, I love them both." Sam keened. 

Colby chuckled darkly, "That's all you are to us, you know. Just two holes. For us to use."

"What did she say we had? A free use situationship? That sounds about right." Sam laughed.

"And you wouldn't want it any other way. You love being used. You love how we take whatever we want from you." Their hips were matching each other in tandem, thrusting into you at a slow pace.

Sam continued, shooting back. "You were literally on the floor, begging us to let you come. And now your cunt and mouth are filled with our cocks. What a fucking slut.

Colby gasped breathlessly, "Fuck, you tightened around me when he said that. Is that what you are, princess? A slut?"

Sam mocked, tsking. "I thought you wanted to be a good girl."

"Good girls don't get used like this. Good girls don't try to get rid of their fuck buddies." Colby cursed.

"Good girls don't have fuck buddies. Good girls have boyfriends that love and cherish them." Sam snickered.

"Maybe we do feel that way for you, baby. We just have such." Colby bucked his hips into your hard once, "a funny." Twice. "way." Thrice. "of showing it."

"We do love you baby girl. We care about you so much. Which is why you can't be with anyone else. Who else is gonna treat you this good?" Sam moved his cock a bit deeper, making you choke.

"Exactly. Who else is gonna make you come like this?" Colby breathed, smirking.

Suddenly an orgasm rocked through you. You gagged on Sam's cock, unable to stop yourself from thrust back and forth on their cocks. You bucked wantonly, gripping the bed sheet as your legs shook against Colby.

Sam was in awe, "There's our plaything! God, having you choke on my cock makes me wanna come again."

Colby smiled lazily, "She's been so good for us. How about you give us another orgasm baby?"

Another orgasm hit you just as the last one started to fade. You shuttered against Colby's shaft, shaking intensely. You whined around Sam, white knuckling the bed.

"There you go. I know how badly you wanted to come, princess. You squeezed my cock so tightly then. You just want to milk me dry, don't you?" Colby spoke in a needy tone.

Sam buried himself in your throat, "How about another, just because?"

Once more, you erupted in euphoria. Your thighs trembled and your eyes blurred with tears as you cried out in pain and pleasure. Your mind went blank, seeing stars as you rode out your high. 

The boys laughed, still thrusting into you, but now a bit faster. "Oh Sam, that was mean. She didn't deserve that."

"I thought she said she wanted to come. I'm just granting her wish." Sam sang teasingly.

"That's true. How about... Colby hummed, plunging all the way into your sex, "one more for good measure?"

Your cunt exploded in yet another climax. Your come leaked down your inner thighs, soaking you and the bed. Your back arched and your hands clung onto Sam's hands, needing something to ground you. You could barely think, the pleasure too much for you.

"I think you've had your fun, babe. It's time for us to have ours." Colby spat.

Sam and Colby sped up their thrusts, your body at their whim. Colby drove his sex into yours, the sounds of your wet cunt sending a shiver up your spine. Sam cupped your throat with his hand as he bucked his cock into you. Your jaw had grown slack, allowing him more access to your mouth and throat.

You laid still on the bed, letting the men use you. You felt dazed in the best way. Your body trembled with lust, your skin feeling cool in the hot air of the room. Maybe you were wrong about getting rid of the boys. How could you think of getting rid of them when they were able to make you feel this amazing?

Colby ran his hands up and down your legs, squeezing your thighs tightly. "God baby, I just love how tight you are. Fuck, you are taking my cock so well. You know what? I forgive you for your attitude earlier. Clearly you just needed a good fucking from us."

Sam moaned, "Just needed to be reminded who owns you."

"That's right. You're ours, princess. And we're yours. We'd never want to fuck someone other than you. You're all we want. And we're all you want, yeah?" Colby questioned, his voice hoarse.

You nodded, blinking rapidly from the tears clouding your vision as Sam continued pounding into your throat, gagging you.

Colby's eyes darkened as he glared at you. "Next time though, we won't be nice. You'll really learn the meaning of free use, you understand me?"

Sam grunted huskily, "God, don't tempt me. I would love to use you freely."

Colby leaned forward, uttering, "I told you he was a freak."

"As if you wouldn't too." Sam argued breathlessly. "Are you getting close, sweetie? Do you wanna come again?"

You groaned around Sam's dick, bobbing your head.

Sam gave a smug smile to Colby, picking up his pace. "I think that's a yes."

"Well, you're just gonna have to wait, princess. I want you to come with us." Colby matched his pace, plowing into you.

Sam whined, "I want to come in her pussy this time."

"So do I." Colby halted, "How about I come in her first and you come in her afterwards?"

Sam nodded eagerly. "Sounds amazing. You won't mind, right baby girl?"

You didn't say anything, just kept bouncing and sucking on their cocks. You were so mindless you barely understood them anymore. All you knew is that you wanted their cum inside you soon. That's all you could think about.

Colby cooed, grinning lustfully. "Aww, we mindfucked her. She has nothing going on up there."

"That's perfect. I love a girl so cummed out of her mind she doesn't know how to even speak." Sam growled, smirking.

"She’s basically a sex doll for us. No thoughts, just a set of wet holes for us to use and come in. God, you're so fucking sexy, princess." Colby's hips moved faster, his body shaking yours with each thrust.

Sam kept his cock inside of your mouth, "You getting close, Colby?"

"Fuuuck, yes. Her cunt is gripping my cock. Jesus Christ you feel so fucking good baby." Colby pounded your pussy desperately, his hands gripping your legs.

"That's it, Y/N. Milk his cock. Make him come." Sam bossed.

"I'm gonna fucking breed you, princess. You love when I do that. A-And you're gonna come when I do." Colby sped up his thrusts, jackhammering into you. He picked your hips up off the bed, hitting you even deeper. He shouted passionately, "Fuck I'm right there! F-Fuck! Come for me!"

You shattered, choking out a filthy mewl around Sam's member. Your hips met Colby's with each of his thrusts. He plunged into you a final time, spilling all of his seed deep within you. You felt your cunt fill with his load, throbbing around him intensely. His groans grew quiet, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.

Colby caught his breath, exhaling deeply. "You're such a good girl for us. And now, you're gonna take Sam's come."

He pulled out, your pussy feeling empty and used. But then it was filled up once more, now with Sam. You gasped huskily, your throat sore from his round on it. You glanced down at Sam as he began pounding into you.

Colby rubbed your face sweetly, wiping the drool off of the corners of your mouth. "Open up, princess. I need somewhere to rest my cock until he comes."

You popped your mouth open, taking Colby's semi-hard dick and letting it fill you up. You were used to having something there now, and you were happy to have it be Colby's.

"Do you like tasting yourself on my cock, slut?" Colby commented.

You hummed, agreeing mindlessly. Sam started slamming himself into you, your body shaking with each deep thrust. Your cunt gushed around him, wet from your and Colby's cum.

"Holy shit, you feel amazing baby girl! Fuck I'm getting so close. When I come, you come too!" Sam howled, bucking wildly.

Colby reached over, rubbing your clit in time with Sam's thrusts. "Just one more time, Y/N. Give us everything you got. Be a good girl for us."

Sam's eyes flashed red, his fangs appearing. "God damn - yes! Milk my cock, Y/N. Take every drop of my fucking cum and come with me!"

The ecstasy you felt was unlike anything you every experienced before. Your vision went white, unable to see or hear anything. You rutted up to meet Sam's thrusts, your body moving purely on instinct. You no longer had even an ounce of control over your body. You felt your throat vibrate with gurgled screams and cries. You soaked his dick and sucked on Colby's, your body rag dolling against the bed.

"So good for us. You did so well, angel." Colby murmured.

Sam breathed, staring at you sweetly. "You're so pretty when you come. Our pretty girl. You can rest now"

Your eyes fluttered, your body exhausting beyond repair. You closed your eyes, passing out instantly.

When you finally awoke, your body was sore from your wrists to your ankles. You were back in your room, but you knew that that wasn't a dream. As you sat up in bed, an object on the floor stood out to you.

The book. It was here, in your house. And away from Sam and Colby.

You jumped out of bed, grabbing it. You looked it over, flipping through the pages. The piece that Sam tore out must have been back in as the book was intact.

You nodded to yourself, knowing what you had to do next.

Time to get rid of Sam and Colby.

<< Part 4 ||

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 45

PREV

Renee Walker stands next to two of her best friends in the entire world holding up a hand drawn sign. There's an, admittedly crudely drawn, Fox on the sign that Allison had made up.

Renee had seen it and smiled from across the airport as she made her way over to where Dan and Allison were standing waiting for everyone to come. The team had managed to coordinate their flights to land all within about two hours of one another and Allison had exactly zero desire to go back and forth from the airport so her driver was waiting out at a nearby cellphone lot to come and get them once everyone was there.

"Is it nice having a driver again?" Dan asks Allison.

"I sometimes miss driving around in my car but it's a lot easier to do my makeup with him driving." she says with a shrug as they continue to catch up. Renee is holding up the sign since Allison had complained that she had lost so much of the muscle she had previously had.

"Yeah, New York City seems like a major pain in the ass to drive in too." Dan agrees as her phone buzzes. She pulls out her phone and looks at it before a huge smile fills her face, one that means she's talking to Matt, "Oh! They just landed!" Dan says confirming Renee's suspicions.

Allison looks at her watch, "Wow, 20 minutes early. They must have gotten through boarding quickly." she comments.

"Or some good tailwind." Renee offers.

"When are Neil and Andrew due up?" Dan asks looking at Renee who smiles back at her friend.

"Andrew said they're going to take a break halfway here so they'll be here tomorrow morning." Renee says.

"Get it Neil." Allison nods and it had been a wonderful thing last year to watch Andrew and Allison make peace with one another. Their mutual desire to dress Neil up a bridge towards....maybe not friendship but camaraderie.

It warms Renee's heart to see her friends get along.

"The plane got tailwind, Neil's getting tail." Dan jokes.

"I'm looking forward to meeting the new kid that I've heard about." Renee says gently moving the topic on from their friends getting together. It didn't bother her at all, but she knew that Andrew would prefer no one talk about what he and Neil got up to.

"Oh! Yeah, uh..." Dan visibly buffers.

"Dan, you're the only one of us that's met the kid. His name's Smith." Allison says with eyebrows raised in judgement.

"Look, when Coach and I went to recruit the kid my brain was like 90% on the fact that I needed to go to my interview." Dan defends herself.

"So he wasn't that memorable for you?" Allison asks.

"Yeah, I'm surprised that he's getting along so well with the guys." Dan says. "Getting stabbed over Thanksgiving feels more like a Neil move than the quiet kid Coach and I met." she adds.

That had been an interesting phone call from Andrew. Renee hadn't even realized that she had become Natalie describing the best way to get rid of the body until Andrew had clarified that it'd been an accident and Smith was alive. Renee had been a little ashamed.

She was excited to meet the kid who Andrew had spoken to her about. Glad that their strange found family was growing just a little bit bigger.

They wait around continuing to talk about plans for the break together. Allison wants to go shopping and she wants to do it once Neil and Andrew are back. Dan wants to skate at the Rockefeller center. Renee would love it if they could do Christmas Eve Mass.

They're sure that Kevin is going to want to check out an Exy game. They're mostly sure that Matt will want to check out the LEGO store in downtown manhattan and that Aaron will be as excited for that as Matt is but pretending not to be. Nicky wants to catch a drag show and has made it clear that he will be going regardless of what anyone else wants to do. Andrew and Neil will probably just want to be alone when they have the chance though Neil had expressed some prior interest in the EXITES superstore and Andrew will more than likely enjoy the day Allison has planned to go shopping since she wants to update Neil's wardrobe.

The new kid, Smith, will be a mystery, but they're more than willing to be flexible.

Eventually they hear the tell-tale sign of most of the boy's arrival. "Babe!" comes from across the airport and Dan's head shoots up and spots the sight of Matt Boyd approaching his arms out wide almost clotheslining four different families on his way to Dan.

Dan is not much better as she rushes to him arms as wide.

They embrace like they always do whenever they have to spend time apart from one another and Renee knows that part of the reason that Dan took her job as assistant coach where she did is that the Washington State Congress Team had been looking at Matt the year prior to scout him.

She looks beyond the passionate reunion and sees Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky. She frowns brows furrowing...

Weren't they going to bring-

Nicky throws his arm out and it wraps around a kid she hadn't even realized was there. She blinks startled by his sudden appearance and blank expression as Nicky was pointing them out. He points to her and he can see her name on his lips she gives a wave and a smile.

Smith nods back in greeting.

He seems quite nice.

***

Renee is at the end of her proverbial rope.

This kid is a threat and she doesn't understand how she's the only person who can see it.

Being a threat isn't really an issue when you're a Fox. It's almost a given that there's some part of you that can be dangerous when backed into a corner but no one seems to be treating him like a threat.

She watches as Nicky and Matt throw their arms around him. As Kevin pushes smoothie after smoothie into his hands as he blankly sips. As Andrew and Neil sit with him quietly. As Dan pinches his cheeks. As Aaron ribs him for being bad at MarioKart.

She can't feel anything from him, no joy, no anger, nothing.

She can't even track him.

Renee has always prided herself on her ability to keep track of those around her. Spacial awareness was incredibly important when you're in a fight and it had always been one of her strongest points. She always knew where she was in relation to everyone else.

Except Smith.

The kid had given her no shortage of heart attacks as he appeared and disappeared seemingly at random.

She had finally gotten Andrew alone to ask, "Smith's quiet, non-intrusive." Andrew says with a shrug.

There's just something about him that makes the hair on the back of Renee's neck stand on edge and she hates feeling like she's the only one. She hates it even more that there's no real evidence that there's something amiss with this newest Fox.

So she settles in to watch.

They're out shopping and Allison is doing her best to get Neil a proper wardrobe with Andrew's considerable help, AKA nodding in approval when Neil comes out. She's not skimping on any of them but Neil is her main focus.

"Smith, what's a color you like?" Allison asks as she's looking at hoodies.

"I like purple." Smith answers and Renee barely manges to stop herself from flinching as his voice comes from right next to her.

"Pass." Andrew says as Neil comes out in a charmingly orange sweatshirt.

"I like it!" Neil argues.

"You have 10 sweatshirts that are that exact shade of orange." Andrew dismisses. "Try the blue one." he says pushing Neil back into the dressing room.

"Which one?" Neil asks.

Andrew sighs dramatically in a way that lets Renee know that he's doing exactly what he wants to be doing, "I'll show you." he says going into the dressing room with Neil.

"I still don't know how it took Baltimore for me to realize they were together." Nicky says as he's holding up two different purple sweatshirts to Smith's body. "You look good in a more purpley purple." Nicky says putting the more indigo colored sweatshirt back on the rack.

"Pants are coming up next, I'll get a lay of the land. I know everyone else's but Smith what's your height?" Allison asks.

"Five feet, nine inches." Smith answers as Nicky pushes him towards the dressing room. "Nicky it's a sweatshirt, I can put it on out here." Smith says.

"I know but I need an excuse to go back there and make sure Neil and Andrew aren't defiling a dressing room." Nicky says with a grin that implies he'd be more happy if they were.

"Gross." Aaron says as he takes a picture of himself to send to Katelyn to approve of the new outfit that Allison was pushing for him to get. "Wait," he pauses turning to where Allison was looking through various men's pants, "you know our heights? Like you've memorized them?" he asks.

"Yeah." Allison says looking at a pair of black slacks. "Everyone's measurements." she says nodding to herself.

"Even bust sizes?" he asks, voice not as quiet as he likely thinks it is.

"You're such a boy." Allison laughs not even looking up from the very different rack.

"How much longer are we going to be here?" Kevin asks with a sigh.

"Well, at least the time that it took you to ask that longer. We'll be done when we're done Kevin." Dan says long having given up on stopping Allison when the woman is on a spree.

"She knows that EXITES closes at 5 PM right?" Kevin asks.

"More importantly," Matt leans in, "that the LEGO store closes at 8 PM right?" Matt asks.

"How is that more important? The LEGO store is open later?" Kevin asks.

"Because we're not going to EXITES today, but we are going to the LEGO store." Matt says.

"If we don't spend the whole day here we can do both-"

"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Dan says with a sigh.

"But-"

"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Renee says with an apologetic smile.

"But-"

"Kevin, we're not going to EXITES today. Just sit down and let me find pants that'll make your pin-up days look tame in comparison." Allison says.

"That's not what those posters were!" Kevin argues with a blush on his face.

"Sure." Allison dismisses

***

Renee is quite happy with the sundresses she found even if they won't do her any good here in New York City during the Christmas break. Their next stop on their shopping day is over to the LEGO store where Matt makes no attempt to hide his enthusiasm as Aaron very valiantly does try to pretend like he's not utterly entranced by the sets and builds.

Renee thinks it's all very charming.

"We could have gone to EXITES." Kevin says with a frown as he looks at a build of an Exy racquet. "Can you take my picture with this?" he asks but he's not quite looking at Renee.

"Sure." Smith says from beside her, where he had apparently been.

"Thanks Smiths." Kevin says and stands next to the Exy racquet of LEGOs and crosses his arms and leans back.

"Kevin, stop posing like this will be for the cover of a Forbes Magazine." Andrew says with a sigh as he comes to stand on Renee's other side.

"Shut up, it's a picture for me!" Kevin says and continues to stand with his arms crossed.

"Oh, can you get a picture of me next Smith?" Neil asks coming up eyes shining in excitement as he looks at the racquet.

"Sure. As an apology for letting Nicky-"

"Don't talk about it." Neil and Andrew say at the same time.

Kevin gets his picture and then Andrew hands his phone to Smith for Neil's since Neil had broken the lens on his camera ages ago.

They wander around and Kevin finds a set to build the National Court that he grabs without a second thought. Neil and Andrew find a little LEGO man of Kevin that they buy as their 'preferred Kevin'. Kevin of course threatens to buy their LEGO figures once they have them and refer to them as his 'preferred Andrew and Neil'. A threat that neither of them comment on but Renee does buy the little Jean Moreau she finds. She'll paint it Trojan colors and send it over to him as a little gift.

As she continues to browse with her purchase in hand she hears Nicky, "Smithy, if you like it you should get it!" Nicky insists.

"Is it the price?" Allison asks.

"Yeah, I don't want to spend that much." Smith says with a nod expression still worryingly blank.

"When's your birthday? It can just be an early or a late present from me." Allison asks.

"March 1st, but really I'm fine not getting it." Smith shakes his head. "It's not that I'd like it just my little brother liked trains." he says and Renee watches Nicky's face turn from joyful teasing to intense determination.

"We're getting this set." Nicky says grabbing it and marching over to the counter even as Smith followed after him.

Interesting.

***

They finish off their day with some ice skating.

Matt, Aaron, Andrew, and Kevin all fall into the 'challenged' category.

They get on the ice and all four immediately fall. Renee stifles her laughter as Andrew and Aaron scowl. "Are you okay?" Smith asks and Renee almost loses her balance as he skates by her.

"Why the fuck are you good at skating?" Aaron asks scowling even as he takes Smith hand. Renee skates over and offers a hand to Kevin as Matt and Andrew are being helped up by their respective partners.

"Oh," Allison says skating by, "have you been up to Canada or something often?" she asks.

"I've been to Canada a few times. It's more that there was a rink I would go to every once in a while." Smith answers before turning back to Aaron, "I can help you keep balanced." he says offering his other hand.

"Smith, I don't want to hold your hand. That's kind of gay." Aaron huffs letting go of Smith's hand only to immediately beef it again when he tried to move forward.

***

Skating was fun even if Aaron kept blushing as Smith helped him skate since he never really got his 'ice legs'. The rest of them all more or less skated on their own by the end or, in the case of Andrew and Matt, seemed fine to keep skating while holding on.

Renee was warming herself by the fireplace in Allison's home enjoying some hot chocolate as Allison took a seat next to her. There was a lot of commotion in the kitchen as the team was working to make dinner together. Renee had excused herself after Smith had startled her while she had a knife in hand and she'd almost stabbed him on instinct.

She's just relieved that no one seemed to notice the near murder.

"You okay? You seemed tense in there." Allison asks.

Well, almost no one.

"Yes, I'm fine." she smiles and hopes that Allison will believe it.

Allison looks at her and Renee does have the benefit that Allison is slightly drunk since she was told firmly not to help with the cooking since she'd paid for the majority of the day.

"I'm glad I got you alone, there's something I want to hear your opinion on." Allison says deciding, apparently, to let it go for now.

Renee relaxes smiling at her friend, "What's that?" she asks wondering what purchase or thing unpurchased Allison was regretting.

Allison looks at Renee, expression utterly serious. "Don't you think there's something...weird about this kid?" she asks.

Renee straightens up glad that Allison had also felt like something was off with the kid that her friends had brought along. "What do you mean?" she asks wanting to hear what Allison thought.

"Look, he seems really nice. I mean a little too nice to be a Fox to be honest but I mean I guess you're a Fox as well so..." Allison rambles slightly taking another sip of her wine.

"Yes, go on." Renee nods.

"Yeah, he seems nice and Matt said he's got his own stuff even if he didn't wanna go into what that stuff was." Allison continues and it's a good thing Allison is drinking white wine considering the white carpet and her gesticulations. "But...it's just.. okay you can't make fun of me. Even though this is about to sound crazy." Allison says.

"I would never do something like that." Renee swears.

"Promise me." Allison says expression grave as she lifts up a pinky.

Renee smiles despite herself and hooks her pinky with Allison's, "I promise to not make fun of you." she swears other hand over her cross.

"I think he's Justin Bieber."

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my Grandma I'm not going to have a specific conversation with her and just walking away?

So context, I (28) am currently between jobs because one of my ex-coworkers was the asshole who got me fired, and I haven't found anything new.

My mother (50) and I both live in my Grandma (80)'s house which is divided into an upstairs and a downstairs. Grandma lives in the downstairs. So do my mom and sister. I live alone in a two bedroom upstairs which belonged to my late aunt.

Right after my aunt died, I wanted to clean the apartment, organize, donate, toss, keep her stuff. To make sure everything gets where it'd ought best go, but my mother told me I had no right to go through my aunt's things alone and sort keepsake from takaway; if I was to do anything it was to be with her.

Well, three years of me trying to get my mom up here to sort through it with me because I want to respect her wishes, and my stuff accruing in a layer over top of my aunts stuff because I can't get rid of it, and the apartment is a lifetime and three years mess. My mom never made the time to do what she told me I wasn't allowed to do without her, me respecting these wishes which she probably doesn't even remember. I've been living up here too afraid of trespassing against my aunts memory to clean the cobwebs full of her red hair. Because my mother said, I had no right to do it.

And that cleaning anxiety is on top of executive dysfunction, depression, having too much shit, being a sprawler type adhd, and working a 40 h/week 'part-time' retail position. I didn't have it in me to clean by myself, and the mess kept getting worse and no one would substancially help me no matter how much I asked. Not my mom and not my sister (who gets a pass because she's got post-exertional malases from Long Covid).

Now fast foreward to two weeks ago. My mother final finds the motivation to clean the upstairs apartment because she's got a boyfriend now, and they wanna have sex upstairs where my grandma can't hear it. They didn't ask me if it was okay or anything: just decided that my space is now OUR space because it's convinent to her. I don't really care, and I'm annoyed, but finally someone to clean the fucking apartment with. She said, two weeks ago that he'd be coming around in about four months time. We spent the day getting a lot of cleaning done. Not anywhere near all of it, but a lot. And I've finally gotten what I see as permission to start sortitioning my aunts things. I'm pacing myself cleaning on that four month timetable.

And then today she bursts into the apartment to announce that BF will be here in a week, and she starts hauling major ass with my late aunt's heavy as shit sewing supplies. For my part, I vent the new timeline to my friends and then get to work cleaning my bedroom so I can move the stuff I have sprawled over the living room into my bedroom. Because my bedroom being messy is what's getting in my way the most.

When she's done hauling boxes, she goes to start cleaning the bathroom, and because she's in too much of a hurry on this new self-imposed and sprung upon me timeline, she hurts herself cleaning the toilet. Spasms her wrist, locks up her back. I help her downstairs but she's obviously done for the day, probably done for the week even. I get back to light cleaning with breaks, pacing myself to the new timeline I have to deal with. And I get a call from my grandma.

G: "Hey anon can you come down here." A: "I'll be down in a minute." I pull on pants and a shirt and head down.

And here we get to the key events all that context was building toward.

G: "What happened with your mom." A: "She hurt herself cleaning." G: "I know that, I mean why was she cleaning your apartment. You're an adult who's lived here for three years, and she's the only one working, and now she can't move. Why's the apartment you live in such a state that she needs to clean it for you."

Now, I know my grandma. A mule would be jealous of her stubborn demeanor. She's on an oxygen machine 24 hours a day and she still smokes two packs a week. You can't change her mind once she's made it up.

So I'm doing calculations in my head while she's laying into me, and I conclude she's made her mind up: She thinks I'm 100% in the wrong and nothing that came out my mouth would convince her that my mom is just as much an adult as I am who is responsible for her own decisions that got her to overworking when cleaning and hurting herself in the process, and also several inter-related key factors in why so much cleaning needs to be done on an 'oh fuck, immediately' timescale.

Doing the math makes me a bit angry, and I don't like the type of person I get to acting like when I'm angry, especially because anything I say will just make her more upset, so I say, "Grandma, I'm not going to have this conversation with you."

And I walk away. I leave while she yells at me to come back and let myself be yelled at. I'm angry, so I mindfully do not to slam her door on my way out and go back up stairs

After some scrumbling and a bit more light cleaning with breaks to pace myself, best I can, to this newly imposed and unreasonable timetable, my room is 90% clean and ready for me to put my stuff in it. And now that I'm not as angry anymore, I started to feel guilty that I didn't even try to explain anything to her. I just decided she'd made up her mind and made up mine to walk away without even trying. So, I typed this up to ask:

AITA for refusing to engage her in that conversation and just walking away?

What are these acronyms?

[whatwewrotepodcast]

Equestrian Writing Resource

Hi everyone,

I've seen some how to write horses posts going around recently that contain some . . very not true things about horses. As a Certified Horse Girl TM I thought I might clarify a few things for any one out there wanting to write anything that includes horses.

My credentials are that I've been riding for as long as I remember, have owned horses for 15 years and currently compete at a state and national level in dressage.

Facts below the cut!

Travelling by horseback

Horses cannot gallop or even canter endlessly. This is something I see a lot of in movies and games and media like that. Even an extremely fit horse can only really gallop flat out for 10-15 minutes. A steady canter they can go for longer, but if you watch endurance races (where horses are ridden for 100s of kms over sometimes several days), the riders will mix periods of walk and trot to let the horses catch their breath and recover.

There are a couple of reasons for this. Horses do not have strong enough diaphragms to inflate their lungs fully. There are some cursed interior nonsenses going on here, but essentially at a gallop, a horse can only breathe once per stride. This means there is only a matter of time before they are no longer able to get enough oxygen to their muscles.

Which leads into the next thing . . .

Horses get hot easily and can struggle to cool down

Horses sweat, just like humans, but because of their mass, their interior temp can get very high and may need assistance to be brought down. That's why at the end of a cross country course (where horses are galloping for anywhere between 5-12 minutes and jumping fences) they often have buckets of water thrown on them to help them cool down.

A well trained horse can be ridden by anyone

I've seen some posts around recently that said that horses will try and throw off unfamiliar riders and that you can't ride a horse who doesn't know you. This is . . . ridiculous. If your horse has been trained properly anyone can get on and ride it. Ride it well? Maybe not, but if the person is a good rider they'll be able to do the basics. I've ridden my friends horses, and they've ridden my horse. I've put an 8 year old on my horse and let her walk around. If you horse is so insane it tosses anyone other than you, you've done a terrible job training it.

However, if a horse has not been broken to saddle, then yes, if you try and hop on it, it will probably try and get rid of you. If you just try and get on a horse bareback in the paddock, it will probably go poorly. A lot of horses don't take well to being ridden bareback initially, but they can all get used to it in time.

Horses are sensitive but you can just let them graze

It's a common joke amongst horse people that horses will drop dead of anything and this is true to an extent, but they would be entirely unviable lifeforms if you had to inspect every patch of grass before you let them eat it. In general, horses won't eat toxic plants if they have a choice. I'm not sure how people thing mustangs and other feral horses survive in the wild if every paddock needs to be check for toxic plants because horses can't tell what will kill them and what won't. It's usually perfectly fine to let your horse graze outside their paddock. On that note - if you horse breaks into the feed shed, it *can* cause colic, and depending what they eat, it can be an extremely serious circumstance, but also many horses break into feed sheds, gorge themselves, and walk away fine. Mine has done it more than once.

Horse riding IS hard

One thing other posts have gotten correct is that riding a horse is hard. It's not something you can do well from the get go no matter how amazing you are. Riding a horse the first few times will make muscles hurt you didn't even know you had. Riding a dressage test gets my heart rate nearly as high as going for a run.

Horses are kinda smart . . and kinda stupid

Yes horses all have personalities and they can be really clever, but they can also be extremely stupid and this is because they are flight animals. Some are braver, some are smarter, some are stupid, some are flighty. But a horse is generally not as smart as a dog, and some of them are as dumb as a bag of rocks.

Riding bareback is hard and not good for your horse's back

There's a reason we invented saddles and it's to help distribute a rider's weight more evenly over the horse's back. Horse spines are suspended like a cable between their hips and shoulders. There is nothing in the middle to hold it up but muscle, and you sit right on that thing. Riding bareback puts a lot of weight and pressure on their spine and the muscles around it. Riding with a (well fitted) saddle will help distribute the weight. However, well fitted is the key thing here. You can't just put any saddle on any horse. If the saddle doesn't fit, it can cause rubbing, pain, and eventually long term damage. It's best practice to get a saddle fitted every 12 months at least.

Sweat doesn't really make your horse more slippery though and if you saddle slides right off, your girth wasn't done up tight enough or some part of your tack failed.

Horses should be tied up while you tack and untack

Horses are flight animals and they will piss off if something scares them, which can be dangerous if they're half-tacked or untacked. However, if your horse tries to bite you just because you haven't tied them up then you are doing something that is causing them discomfort or you haven't trained them properly. For the love of god don't let your horse bite you?? What is wrong with you?? The girth should not be painful or uncomfortable for the horse. You don't need to do it as tightly as possible, just enough that it won't slide. Most horses have what is called a "girth groove" which is where the girth sits in front of their ribcage. Because their shoulder is in front and their rib cage widens out behind, the girth sitting in the groove stops the saddle moving.

Training a horse does take a while . . . but them liking you doesn't really factor

Training or breaking a horse to take a saddle and accept a bit and aids does take a long time. You can't just jump on a feral horse and expect them to listen to you. Horses are usually backed (sat on) at between 4-6 years old but they may have had a saddle and bit on for short periods before hand. Horses don't accept tack because they care about whether it helps their rider not fall off, they do it because they have been trained to do it.

Crops and spurs

Crops (whips) and spurs are both aids that, when used properly, cue horses to perform certain movements. Both are more than capable of being abused. You can hurt a horse with a whip just as easily as with a spur, however, used properly, a spur allows you to make smaller, more finnessed aids with your leg than using your heel. A whip or crop can be used in a similar way, especially with horses who like to swing their shoulders or hips one way or the other - the whip just extends your reach.

English vs western

English and western are the two main styles of riding that are most common these days.

English riding includes dressage, jumping, and eventing. These sports are complicated so I won't go into them, but generally the saddles are lighter and allow for a closer connection to the horse, and more ability to move in the saddle - to stand in the stirrups, to get deeper into the saddle, etc.

Western riding is more ranch style riding, and include disciplines like reining, barrel racing, cutting and other sports involving cows. Western saddles are what you see in cowboy movies, and tend to be much heavier and more restrictive - they down allow you to move around so much.

Horses can be affectionate

It does depend a bit on the horse, but horses can absolutely be affectionate. They do this by calling out to you, coming over to you in the paddock, and sniffing and nuzzling at you. They do think with their stomach though, and a great way to get your horse to be excited to see you is to always bring them food.

Horses don't neigh that much

This is a big bug bear in movies. Horses really really really don't usually neigh that much. In fact, they don't make a lot of noise at all in general. They will call to their friends sometimes, and they make a range of whuffling, nickering, snuffling sounds, snorts and grunts, but the way movies show horses screaming their heads off all the time is totally false. They're usually pretty quiet.

That's it for now, but feel free to reach out if you have any other questions. I hope this post spreads as far as the other one did because. . .yikes there was a lot of wrong information in there!

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- Finally

Kelly and I have been married for 3 years now. We met because of my brother Matt joining firehouse 51, then Kelly and I dated for many years before he proposed. Our wedding was a beautiful day and filled with so much love.

After a couple of years of marriage we decided that it would be time for us to start a family. Unfortunately this took a lot longer than expected. We even went to the doctors to find out if there was anything wrong. They just said that for some men and woman it can take longer and to come back in a year if we are still yet to conceive or if we struggle to carry full term.

Of course seeing negative after negative pregnancy test it really effects you mentally. So we stopped taking pregnancy tests so regular. We will only take one if I think I could be pregnant.

I wake up feeling off like I've drank to much. Headache and nausea. Rolling over I place my hand on Kelly's side of the bed, but I'm greeted by the bed being cold. That's when I remember that Kelly had to head off to work early this morning. I groan sitting up, my head spinning as I do, I swallow dryly feeling so ill. Slowly I crawl out of bed and go into the bathroom to get myself ready for the day. Thankfully I work from home so I don't have to go out anywhere.

I'm typing on my laptop when I have to quickly run to the bathroom to throw up. Which weirdly makes me feel immediately better. I clean my teeth getting rid of the nasty taste in my mouth and go back to my work.

I spend the next few hours working, but when my day of work ends I'm absolutely exhausted so decide to take a nap before Kelly comes back home.

This goes on for the next few days which does make me wonder if I could be pregnant. So while Kelly is at work I route around in one of the draws for some pregnancy tests that I bought months ago. When I find them I pee on the sticks and leave them on the back of the toilet before going back to work.

I forget about the tests for a couple of hours before I have to go to pee again. I pick them up not thinking that it will be positive, but when I see the little plus sign on all of the tests I am shocked. This is the first time I've ever gotten a positive pregnancy test, but still not wanting to get Kelly to excited I want to make sure that this is true. So that day I ring up my doctors and book an appointment for the next day. However I'm going to have to sneak out because Kelly is off.

The following day I wake up in Kelly's arms making me smile. I turn around to face him and brush some hair out of his face making him sigh and pull me closer

"Morning" he says in his gruff morning voice

"Morning" I reply placing a kiss on his lips "what have you got planned for today?" I ask

"I'm staying home and cuddling you all day. I've missed you" I giggle at his reply

"I've missed you to, but I've go a couple of jobs to do this morning"

"Like?"

"Well I have to go to the bank, then pop to the grocery store"

"I'll come with you"

"No" I say way to quickly causing Kelly to frown "I just mean it's going to be boring and you've been working really heard the past few days. Why don't you sleep in" Kelly frowns not buying what I'm selling

"What's going on?"

"Ok you caught me. I am actually getting you a surprise but I'm not telling you what it is so you'll have to wait"

"Ok? Why?"

"Will you stop asking me questions. Go back to sleep I won't be to long" I place a kiss on Kelly's lips before getting up and getting dressed.

So I'm pregnant! I run to the store and buy a gift bag, some dippers, wipes and baby bottles. I then head back home with all of the 'gifts' in the bag and head into the house

"I'm home!" I call out and Kelly is quick to greet me with a smile. He wraps me up in his arms causing me to giggle at his affection "go sit down for your surprise" he eagerly leaves my side and sits down on the couch still with a wide grin on his face "ok close your eyes" I say and he does. I place the bag on his lap and tell him to open. He puts his hand in and the first thing he pulls out are the packets of wipes

"Baby wipes? You trying to tell me to wipe my ass or something?"

"No. Keep going" next he pulls out the baby bottles. He frowns taking out the box of diapers. He looks at me still frowning, but a look of realisation crosses his face as I keep smiling at him

"Are you...? Are we...?"

"Yes. I'm pregnant" Kelly is up in an instant and spins me around then kisses all over my face

"I love you so much!"

"I love you to Kel"

"I'm going to be a dad"

"Yes you are. We're finally getting what we wanted"

[sol-lar-bink]

Queen Veronica the Fifth (V)! The Late Queen of Venostar, and Toxecia's mother. Vivi for short because 'Veronica V'.

I've been meaning to put her ref together for a while. Have a bonus Riki Fuhrmann style of her too (: Plus child Toxecia.

vvv Some info under the cut! vvv

A rather strict Queen, but she cared for her people and her family, and was overall cherished in the kingdom. She's the Fifth Veronica in a massive family tree of royal spiders. She's a mix of bossy and nice, a caring person hidden behind a status to uphold. She has a rather deep, sultry voice.

She took her role very seriously as Queen, the result of generations of Queens passing their hopes and dreams onto their children. Why is that, you might ask? It's because their species have very short lifespans... barely able to live longer than 40 years. A bad gene or something, that kinda just... kills them after a certain amount of time. Venostar scientists have been studying how to rid this gene for almost 100 years to allow a Queen to live a fully prosperous life.

Her husband (To be named + designed) was the perfect balance she needed in her life. Fun, full of energy, silly and hopelessly romantic. He's basically like Asgore without the murdering kids part lmao. With him, Veronica almost seems like a different person.

Together they have Toxecia, their darling little daughter. Sadly Veronica and Tox don't get along very well for the majority of their life, and Tox finds more comfort with her father. He taught her how to use a sword during their time together.

As a child, Tox develops an over-productive poison gland. It first occurs during a speech Veronica is giving to the kingdom. That day would send the family into a depressive spiral.

Most of the kingdom views Toxecia as a freak, a cursed child. She can't leave the castle without leaving a trail of paralyzing poison around the town. Eventually Veronica prevents her from leaving the castle unattended. Tox would only go into town with her father from there on out... until the day that he passes away, when Tox was a young teen.

Veronica and Tox both suffer from this loss. Veronica missing that positive, lighthearted personality that helped her for so long, and Tox losing a lot of confidence. Tox inherits her dads Sword (The one Veronica is holding in the 2nd pic)

Veronica would try to find a new love, but struggled to do so. She became more flirty in this time, and also more depressed. She had gotten close to another female spider at least, but that was a secret kept to them alone 🤫

Sadly, as her time was coming, she prepared Toxecia to inherit the throne, and Veronica would pass away when Tox was barely 18.

She remains buried beside her husband. Tox visits their grave weekly, even if they didn't get along, she misses them both... the royal advisor takes her parents place now.

Alone and young, Toxecia goes on to rule a kingdom that rejects her.

[fdelopera]

Antisemites are going mask-off. And we Jews see you.

So some shit for brains antisemite sent me this message the other day. This is one of several antisemitic Anons I've gotten recently, but this one is the most blatant.

My first response was to taunt them. I thought of writing something like this:

"Hey, you fucking loser, you forgot the part of your Nazi script where you try to deny that the Holocaust happened. Lame ass motherfucker, you can't even get your own lies right. Next time you try harassing a Jew online, at least try to tow the Nazi party line, you white supremacist. Also, you fucking COWARD, how dare you come to my inbox on Anonymous. If you’re going to tell me you wish I would die in a Nazi gas chamber, at least have the common courtesy to tell me your username so I know who I am blocking."

But then, I thought: No. That's not how to respond. Because that's not what this is about.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Making fun of a stupid a Nazi by telling them that they forgot to deny the Holocaust when they decided to harass me for being a Jew — that is gallows humor of the darkest kind. But a morbidly glib zinger of a reply doesn’t actually address the real issue here.

The real issue is that a lot of you with antisemitic tendencies have been going completely mask-off the last few weeks, and you have been diving headfirst into Jew-hatred.

You are finally feeling liberated to speak the Jew-hating words that you have been dying to say.

You have been practically champing at the bit to tell a Jew that you wished there would be another Holocaust so you could get rid of all those millions of "bad Jews" that you don’t like, and now you feel liberated to scream those words from the rooftops.

Over the last few weeks, we Jews have been watching you, some of you that we considered to be friends, and we’ve seen many of you turn on us and spit out the most vile, hateful things about us.

And we know exactly what you will be doing when the next Nazi craze spreads like wildfire from country to country, throughout cities and towns.

You like to claim that you would have been punching Nazis in the face during World War II. You like to claim that you would have protected us. Some of you even like to claim that you would have sheltered us, like the heroes who hid Anne Frank.

But we know better.

No. That’s all just romantic bullshit that some of you like to tell yourselves to make yourselves feel important.

In reality, you would have been deciding who is a "good Jew" and who is a "bad Jew." You would have been deciding who you should rat out to the police for a reward. You wouldn’t be protecting us! You would be saying, "I really don't like that Jew. I’m going to go tell the Gestapo about them." Or worse, you would be saying, "Oh, that Jew over there, they’re just an animal. They’re barely human. The Nazis can kill them, I don’t care."

Most of the people who turned against their Jewish neighbors in Nazi occupied Europe weren't monstrous, inhuman beasts. Most of them were people, just like you, who had been conditioned to hate Jews by nearly two thousand years of Christian antisemitism coupled with a targeted campaign of white supremacist propaganda. This widespread antisemitism allowed the Nazis to transform an irrational and enculturated feeling of distrust towards Jews into a feeling of intense hatred, where gentiles demonized Jewish people and blamed "those Jews" for all the bad things that were happening in the world.

And the white supremacists are doing it again. And YOU are falling for their trap. Again!

Don't you get it? This is the oldest trick in the book! Periods of antisemitic violence usually erupt every 70-100 years or so, after most of the Jewish elders who hold the living memory of the last genocide have all passed away. And the Holocaust was 80 years ago. And here we are. Again.

And just like the Christians in Europe who turned on their Jewish neighbors, you are starting to turn on us.

You buy into antisemitic conspiracy theories, just like the white supremacists do.

You stand in the streets, screaming "gas the Jews" and "die Jews die."

You sound like the Proud Boys. You sound like Nazis. Do you even hear yourselves???

You pretend that all Jews are all a monolith and a hive mind, and you try to convince yourselves that we are all a proxy for the fucking Israeli government, which the vast majority of Jews fucking despise. If we could, trust me, most of us would strangle Netanyahu with our bare hands.

You celebrate Jewish deaths because you have convinced yourselves that killing a random Jewish civilian is "just the same" as killing Netanyahu, because you have manipulated yourselves into believing that all Jews are the Israeli government.

And you don't see how fucking STUPID that is!!

Jewish people are no more the Israeli government than YOU are YOUR government.

A people are NOT their government.

According to Tumblr statistics, nearly half of you reading this will be from the US. Shall I blame YOU personally for the actions of the US government? Of course fucking not! And you'd better fucking not blame random Jews for Netanyahu!

And some of you Jew-haters, in pretending that Jews are all a monolith and a hive mind, even say vile, antisemitic shit like, "Looks like the Jews are becoming the Nazis."

You choose those words carefully, twisting the Shoah, our greatest tragedy, into a knife. You try to weaponize the slaughter of our people against us. You try to reduce the 6 million of us who were murdered into a white supremacist meme.

YOU SOUND LIKE THE FUCKERS AT A TRUMP RALLY, FOR FUCKS SAKE. DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES???

And you do that to dehumanize us. You do that to feel morally superior. You do that to feel less uncomfortable when you laugh at our deaths.

But we know that WE are not becoming Nazis. But YOU are. The reason you say that shit about us is because YOU are projecting YOUR insecurities onto us.

Because you know that you are slowly, insidiously being coopted by the Nazi ideology of David Duke and Richard Spencer.

And perhaps somewhere deep down, you feel uneasy about it. So you accuse Jews of being a monolith, a hive mind, and then you say stupid antisemitic shit like, "Maybe the Jews are the Nazis after all."

And you say that to yourselves so that you can turn off your empathy and celebrate as you watch us die.

What a disgusting way to try to absolve yourselves of YOUR guilt.

And we Jews are watching you. We’re watching you very carefully. And when the dust settles, you will have found that we have vanished from your life.

Very soon, you won’t see us again.

And no, that won't be because we'll be walking into the gas chambers, as much as you'd like us to, like some historical movie about the Holocaust that you watched when you were a child but turned off halfway through because you just didn't care.

NEVER AGAIN MEANS NEVER AGAIN.

As much as we know that you ENJOY watching our deaths (sanitized, of course, with a blur filter over the video so that you don’t have to feel too guilty about watching us being tortured and murdered), that’s not the reason you won’t be seeing us again.

The reason you won’t be seeing us again is because we will be walking out of YOUR life.

You have lost us as friends, and you might not even know it yet.

We are gone from your life, because we know that we can’t trust you.

We know that when the Nazis come to our community and march down the street hoisting their swastikas and doing their Sieg Heils (I've seen it with my own eyes) … when the Nazis harass us Jews in the street (I've seen it with my own eyes) … when the Nazis SHOOT US DEAD (it happened at a synagogue a block away from my synagogue, and many of those who saw it will never open their eyes again) — we know you won’t help us.

You will shove us into the line of fire.

And we know that you’ll absolve your conscience, so you won’t feel too bad about our deaths. You’ll tell yourselves, “It’s okay. Why should I have protected that one? That one was a bad Jew.”

We Jews see you. We see your hypocrisy on full display.

And we are telling you this:

If you see Jewish civilians being tortured and murdered, no matter what country they are from, and your first response is to CELEBRATE … if your first response is to post memes that say shit like, "The Jews fucked around and found out" … if your first response is to say that mass murdering Jews is "brutal but justified" … if your first response is to behave like a Q-Anon believer or a MAGA-hat wearing Republican and treat all Jews like we're a monolith, a hive mind…

When THAT is your response to seeing a tragedy unfolding, you are a FAILED ally, and a FAILED advocate.

You are an antisemite.

But mostly, you are just a really horrible, shitty person.

And we don’t want you in our life.

[gardenletter]

Yandere orc x reader ❤️🔥🥀🔪💚 part 3

This is going to be more of ✨WHAT ITS LIKE LIVING WITH XURL✨

Xurl was...always with you. He would often sleep at the side of your bed (when you fall asleep he would sneak into the covers).He would often nuzzle you with his tusks. It was strange to say the least but you weren't complaining you needed the company and being in the forest all alone wasn't the safest as we learned earlier,so having an orc roommate wasn't bad ... especially one so*cough cough*.

You weren't completely in the dark about orc culture...you lived with them for quite a few years ,but you were far from an expert.Xurl's behavior was unusual but you assumed pre and post puberty would change behavior and even what was expected culturally and you didn't see orcs interact with each other in there own homes.Maybe there a more touchy species .So it means Xurl likes you (there not lol he just obsessed with you *cough cough*)

Xurl would often hunt and gather food for you.You have fun running around the woods with him finding food and even Herbs for your little shop

One time you accidentally stumbled upon Xurl taking a bath in a nearby river and you saw everything from his torso up.It was a sight.He saw you and even invited you in but you were too much of a blushing mess

With Xurl being your new roommate you made more space and got rid of low hanging lights so he can walk around more freely(still small lol)

He would often try to follow you into town when you go to work,but you have to always stop him.Times have changed but not everyone has changed their mind set.Your town is relatively inclusive and safe, with a Neko family and Mr Pine being of elf blood.But an orc as you realize is much different than a cute Neko especially when the town is made up of mainly humans. So you do it for his own good.

It does break your heart each day when you see his sad lonely face 😭(but you always promise you'll return)

(he totally stalks you by the forest line to make sure you're safe....yeah)

He LOVES small animals just loves them

I've been living with Xurl for a few months now and he was definitely entertaining and nice to have around. We've been trying to get to know each other again, but funnily Xurl didn't change much...well personality wise anyway.But Xurl has been acting strange as of late. Fidgeting more, stumbling over his words he was nervous and anxiety ridden. I decided I'd bring it up to him. He's beginning to worry me and the moment I decide to open my mouth he shoves one of his tusk rings into my face.The gold piece of jewelry was reflecting the sun beautifully and beyond the ring and his large hands.

I see his eyes

They were practically looking through me.A blush crawls from my neck to my cheeks as I register what this means.As a child I would often see orc couples share matching rings on their tusks similar to the human tradition of wedding rings.I stutter and look around "T-This is lovely X-xurl b-but"I couldn't even finish my sentence before I saw the hurt in his eyes and he lowered the ring."O-Oh I...I'm sorry"I could hear his voice quiver a little and my heart started to swell and I started to choke up.

"Xurl...I'm really flattered..but-" I was cut off again "I thought we had started courting...I should have know...I'm sorry y/n i will go" his head was hanging low to hide the tears in his eyes as he walked to the door I felt annoyed by his fast assumption and interrupting me like THAT SHIT HEAD... "MY GOODNESS XURL CANT YOU LET ME Finish A SENTENCE" and I quickly grabbed his hand stopping him from moving towards the door.He looked at me with a mix of confusion and relief as his hand clasped over mine ."I was going to say I'm flattered and I should have known what some of the stuff I did for you implied in orc culture.I've gotten rusty in the department"his eyes raised from the floor but still held a sad look.

My face flushed as I thought of my next words "Xurl I don't want you to leave...I like you a lot...........Like in a romantic way but I didn't think we were counting originally so the ring was a surprise".He shot straight up making him reach his full height and his eyes filled with hope "Xurl...I...lov-" but before I could finish my word strong arms were around my waist and lips on mine.I relaxed in his touch.

"I'm sorry"....

"I'm sorry too"

A smile danced on our lips as he looked at me and his grip on me tightens slitly"I know the tusk ring is more of an engagement thing but will you still expect it.I want others to know your mine"heat was in my cheeks at his words and I felt my legs fall under me but with Xurls arms still around me I stayed standing"y-yes...I would love too....as long as you stop interrupting me " he chuckled at my comment "sorry love I was just nervous"and his lips envelope mine once more as he slipped the "ring" on to my wrist.

Your all mine

I hope you liked part 3 of my orc oc lol.if people still show interest in Xurl I will make more stuff on him and hopefully my other ocs.So show some love and I hope you guys are doing well

Love gardenletter 💕

[bite-scars]

Recently fully contenting with the fact that I have a big brother kink,,

I blame being stuck as the oldest child but with horrible anxiety, autism, and emotional neglect making the idea of being any kind of role model without one for myself Terrifying, combined with being transmasc and having that pretty much dismissed or at the very least constantly undermined literally all throughout my teenage years 💀

I was also just an obsessively horny kid for no discernable reason dhzjhx maybe it was the only clear form of affection from guys I was at all familiar with being romantic/sexually coded and not really knowing how someone was meant to bond with them otherwise idk. Add that to me literally making an imaginary friend that was just a caring older brother at first and you can imagine the progression of that had a hand in this also🧍

I'm just. I think enough Tough Love type kinda loser older brother that's also just super overprotective and will back you/help you through anything while simultaneously insisting you should "man up" fantasies could fix me--

Older brother that on the one hand has a rebellious dgaf overall bad influence reputation to uphold but on the other hand had to deal with the same parents I did and can't help but be protective of his cute little brother seeing him going through the same or similarly shitty situations, doing his best to mitigate the damage when he realizes how much more sensitive I am to it than he was.

Being the only person in the house I'm comfortable going to for anything, always making me feel safe even when trying to get me to push a boundary for my own good (whether it's Actually for my own good or not-). Insisting any and all unhealthy coping mechanisms I've turned to (or he's introduced me to) are done in his presence only, he's just concerned about my safety and doesn't want me doing them alone (again whether true or not I'm too trusting or dependant to notice a difference). Basically singlehandedly supporting my transition, making sure I get any and all hand-me-downs he still has lying around (and there are plenty, his closet is like a museum of old shit at this point, like he's never gotten rid of a thing in his life even though he definitely has. There are still character-print boxers in there that are pretty much my size), going over our parents' heads to talk with my school about it (having to "correct" all that would be too much effort for them anyways, they'll just leave it be at that point) and interacting with our parents in general for me unless it's absolutely necessary for me to be there.

Finding any excuse to brag and show off his adorable little brother to his equally delinquent friends, letting me join in on smoke sessions since he knows I can't go 10 minutes without following him around like a little puppy, always wanting to be in his lap (he tries to act like it's annoying but he thinks it's cute, not to mention convenient), and hey, with how high-strung i am already he decides maybe the weed would do me good anyways. Keeping the less respectful of his friends on a short leash around me, not hesitating to kick anyone out that can't heed a warning (full-stop, better not forget anything on your way out because you ain't gonna get another chance to get it back-). Getting quietly jealous over any of the others I end up getting sort of attached to, but rather than starting actual shit with them he'll just find ways to remind me that he's the most important to me, even if his friend is cool he's always cooler, right?

Idk this general underlying setup is a theme in a lot of my fantasies tbh, there's a lot that can vary between them (sometimes either brother is grosser or more genuine, really just depends on my mood lol) but the dynamic is always some flavor of this and it probably says a lot 💀

[vampireknight-analysis]

Yuki's Evolution of Feelings toward Zero [Pt4]

Vampire Knight, Ch 73 - 88.

"You don't need Zero, do you?"

When Maria asks Yuki about her feelings for Zero and if she still needs him, Yuki can only respond one way. It’s not that she no longer needs Zero, but that they have become enemies. More specifically, she believes Zero sees her—a pureblood—as his enemy.

"I can't even use my fangs to take what I want."

Yuki comes to an impasse with herself as her thoughts reveal that she wants to drink from Zero. However, her promise to Kaname means a lot to her and she wants to take it seriously. Yuki believes her place is beside Kaname and she wants to pull herself together.

"Zero... I want us to talk like we did before."

However, Yuki soon caves underneath her own wants. Soon after, she confesses to Zero that she wants things to return to how they were before. She misses their previous bond, those memories, and time.

"Why is it... we must always hurt each other... to move forward."

Zero, noticing Yuki's obvious bloodlust, offers her his blood and threatens to shut down the school if she refuses. Yuki reflects that, just like her, Zero is now forcing something on her against her will. Their dynamic has completely reversed, and Yuki now finds herself needing Zero's blood.

"l just wanted to take a good look at the person whose blood I'm going to drink..."

Yuki changes her resolve, deciding to accept part of her new reality. She doesn't take Zero's blood out of weakness but makes it clear to both of them that she is fully in control of her choice. She wants to drink from him and is ready to do so, now that she is coming to terms with the fact that things will never go back to how they were before.

"The moment I sank my fangs into Zero's neck... my head suddenly cooled."

Yuki confirms that, for the very first time, she has been completely satiated as soon as she had taken Zero's blood. Her mind was instantly cooled, her thirst quenched. Having that moment of peace leaves her shaken and wondering: "Zero, how do you... control your thirst...?" Signifying the sheer internal agony she herself had experienced all of this time.

"It will be okay. I just need to start over from scratch."

Yuki desperately wants to start anew with Zero. She wants a seconds chance with him, an ability for the two of them to forge another connection much like the one they'd had before. But this time with her being her true self, as a Pureblood.

"You're one of the kindest people I've ever met."

Despite Zero's adamance on him wanting to rid the world of every last Pureblood vampire, Yuki reaches a point where she realizes the feelings hidden behind Zero's lies. She realizes that Zero doesn't want them to die. He doesn't want her to die. He's too soft, too kind, and that makes her worried for his well-being in all of this.

"l've always known... that Zero has wished... for my happiness."

During the time they shared over a year ago and how close she had gotten to him, Yuki feels as though she knows Zero inside and out. Yet, she doesn't fully know or understand Kaname at all.

"l'm sure that Kaname is doing this for me."

When Yuki learns of what Kaname has done to Zero, she turns the blame on herself. She comes to believe that all of this is her fault and that Kaname must have taken these actions for her own benefit.

"I can't... spend my life with you. I belong to Kaname..."

Yuki takes the time to speak in depth with Zero about her feelings and where she stands with him in their relationship. She is forthright in explaining to him that they do not have a future together—she belongs to Kaname.

After drinking from Zero, Yuki is still showing no further signs of bloodlust. Even though she has been recently drained of blood herself, the manga demonstrates that drinking Zero's blood has completely satisfied her and that this effect lasts for a long time. Even when her blood supply is low and she needs to drink, she still shows no signs of bloodlust.

Once again, Yuki showcases her depth of knowledge when it comes to experiencing the hunger. She sympathizes deeply with Zero over his hunger for her blood.

"That's why..."

Yuki feels that both she and Zero have put up masks over their hearts, hiding their true emotions from each other to cope with what they have to face. She struggles with this reality and feels like she doesn't belong in Zero's world, even though she desperately wants to start over with him.

"A boy I cherish... and love."

During their time together at the dance, Yuki laminates over her feelings. Her desire for things to be different, and her deep remorse toward the way things have turned out. Here, for the first time, she admits to herself that she loves Zero as well.