#and I've done the same with some as well
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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small PSA: if you shop at craft shows or artist alleys, please bring more than apple pay or a virtual card - especially if you're not comfortable entering your card number manually. not all of us have fancy card readers, so please also bring your physical card or cash, even if it's only as backup 👍
#psa#conventions#artist alley#not art#i've done two craft shows and two conventions with just my swipe reader. and cash ofc. but i did have to miss a couple sales at the cons#because people only had apple pay. no cash no physical card. It Sucks For Both Of Us!#when i say there are small businesses in the artist alley i mean some of us are Small#i don't speak just for myself but for other artists who have this trouble as well. some folks are just starting out and some folks#just do this for a hobby and can't afford or can't justify the bigger terminals yet or at all#if i get into ACEN again next year i'll opt for a terminal but they're Pricey and not something to start out with y'know#if you want to be an artist's best friend though? pay in cash.#not to mention if there's technical or wifi trouble - cash just works 100% of the time. no reader or wifi will stop you from using cash.#semi related but i had someone try to pay with apple pay at my last show and i said they'd have to enter their number manually then#and they said they'd go find their partner and see if they had card/cash. and then while they were walking away from their booth#their friend asked why and they said it wasn't safe. on one hand i can't be mad because its VERY good to practice card safety!#on the other hand. you're entering it into the same app that would process a swipe payment. it's exactly as safe as if you'd swiped it#i promise as long as you're entering the number into a square app your card info is safe lmao#anyway yeah a lot of us aren't Big Businesses. please just be courteous and bring some traditional payment methods Just In Case
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Hope you have an amazing day!
I love your Broken and your art style and how you characterize him.Actually,whenever I write Broken,I go to your blog and read your posts on him-and now I have a better understanding of him-because I feel like your thoughts on who he is as a character are really interesting and makes me actually think about his motives more.
Once again,happy birthday,and thank you for all the wonderful art and thoughts you've given us about Broken!
wahhh i'm gonna sob tysm anon!! i'm so flattered??? it makes my heart warm knowing people appreciate broken more because of me. bestest gift ever ♡♡
(also little tidbit for my voices - in addition to each having their own outfit, anytime a voice joins a chapter three, they will match the main voice's costume. hehehe zombie miko broken ♡)
#was the costume matching an excuse to get nun para and contra? uhm. well-#oof this ask reminded me how badly i've neglected broken's sweetness! i hammer in how mean and sassy he is all the time#but haven't quite done the same for how kind he can be. it's a real shame! i need to rectify this at some point#noooot sure if ill be able to doodle smth for every ask (these all take 4-ish hours) BUT ill do what i can!!#♡. letters sent#♡. scribbles#🍰
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if more people knew Herstory (aka 2004 season and sete&vale) so many questions wrt 2015 season(mostly “why would vale….”) would immediately be answered addfghjk like guysssss guyssssss
it is kinda funny that there's a simple cheat code out there to understanding most of valentino's career but it's just about long enough ago that most people simply... ignore it. like there's a three year span that more or less tells you what you need to know about him. it's like you say! pretty much every possible "why would vale..." secretly has a straightforward answer, and 9/10 it's something that was established in 2003 to 2005. simple as
if anything it's almost annoying because it's too easy. the 2004/2015 stuff in particular is incredibly funny. oh, so you say you have a controversial last lap at assen where valentino beat a rival in direct combat and said rival reacted surprisingly poorly, making valentino reevaluate his relationship with the rival? might that tell you something about how a seed of suspicion once sown can remain dormant for months until valentino is given cause to revisit it? valentino quite literally says in his biography that he could never have hated biaggi because he wasn't a friend and didn't have the power to hurt him... the sepang pressers thing is genuinely just silly, I know this is mainly a function of when they happen in the calendar but what a bizarre coincidence. 2015 is like a slightly more opaque funhouse mirror version of 2004 - but so many of the major beats are virtually identical. which means you've got a season Out There where a younger less experienced less guarded less cynical valentino basically walks you through his internal processes so you get a really good handle of what his deal is. he's piecing together his identity as a competitor going forwards in real time - and then in 2015 he just reminds you of what exactly that identity involves. it's a reaffirmation and not a departure... he's not that inscrutable after all, in the end
#i kinda feel like i've done my civic duty on that front like it's now easily available for the people if they choose to Perceive#with the vale/marc rivalry in particular obviously you'll always be hampered there if you're not paying much attention to pre-2013#but also the sete stuff is open to BORING bad faith interpretations so i'm extremely fine with the details remaining niche#u do sometimes see a take where u go Well Ackshually if u consulted this obscure interview from 2004 - but that's the devil talking#it's fine and valid to not care about valentino's interiority but obviously there's only so far u'll get with that#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#fun story: the sepang 2004 presser isn't available in full in the actual motogp search function#so for ages I heard the commies refer to it in various races and was SO frustrated because I had like. a minute's worth of clips#and then I did some creative googling and eventually discovered it WAS on the website but just not. searchable#first time I watched it my mouth dropped open cartoon-style like wdym this is a thing that happened this is a thing that exists#it is absolutely BIZARRE that this is out there it genuinely broke my brain. and nobody talks about it???????#probably for the best but you really wouldn't know valentino's villain origin story is literally just. out there. like you CAN watch it#I've heard some people canonically were already motogp fans in 2004 and it's kinda incredible this has been completely memory holed#if I'd been a journalist in that presser I would literally never shut up about it. not a SINGLE sepang 2015 article makes reference to it#I have not seen a single person apart from myself make the EXTREMELY obvious connection and I just?? how is that possible??#IT'S LITERALLY IN THE SAME PLACE MOST LIKELY THE SAME ROOM LIKE THIS ISN'T A BIG LEAP#maybe he really is some kind of malevolent demonic creature because at this point... people were canonically in that room y'know#curse tag#idol tag
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The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
#I've secondhand seen the way Sherlock...was.#And yeah that's very pointedly cruel to the audience.#But not everything is that aware of its following to point by point mock them for half an hour.#And I think people forget that for a period there was a unique combination of awareness of gay people and homophobia bad#and a severe need to avoid being perceived as gay (and sometimes homophobic) at the same time#while it was ALSO very acceptable to treat the existence of gay people and homophobia or discomfort with both as a joke#so that whole wink wink nudge nudge dance was a huge thing in some of the 90s and earlier 2000s#and sometimes by doing that people accidentally made it seem even more fucking gay.#Or on purpose. People also forget that yeah gay people could exist as a joke but they couldn't be casual protags or w/e.#It wasn't really done like that.#I think what it's really proof of is that the 90s/early 2000s is long enough ago that people have become illiterate to the cultural cues.#When comedians complain 'you cant make jokes anymore' sometimes this is the exact thing they're referring to.#Gay people being on TV or in books isn't some funny joke you make anymore. Just being gay or seen as gay isn't the punchline it used to be.#People are shitty about it still but it's in a different way now. Being gay isn't as much the big embarrassment it used to be.#Gay tv shows and books are a whole market now. And stuff like Sherlock or supernatural were made right in the middle of that shift.#It's the only way you could position a strategy like this. I don't know if that cultural moment really exists anymore.#Audience backlash is also more massive and in real time.#Now instead of mockery at the idea of idk Dr house md being gay conservatives would see it as a 'culture war' thing.#And non conservatives are more vocal and more liable to criticize. TV shows are seen as keepers of culture in ways they weren't before.#I don't know how to describe it exactly. I'm not an expert and I know I'm missing some pieces or things I wanted to point out.#But yeah I just think people kind of. Forgot how people treated gayness as some kind of cootie disease you had to say#You didn't have really hard all the time. People are still sort of like that but idk the language changed.#A lot of talk about homophobia and queerness is very pseudo-academic now. The distancing happens with different signifiers.#But. Yeah.#☠️#I also think queerbaiting requires a specific kind of intent as a marketing strategy.#Instead of the more likely 'well we have an unintended gay following now so I guess we can throw in some fanservice#the network would literally never allow us to do anything with it even if we wanted to though.'
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also "textless" versions of these, wahooo
#corned beef#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#bsol#speaking of >:3 & >:3 third time's the >:3 in successfully slammed both up against the window of joe iconis's car (twitter @'d & Seen)#which is really just a :3 but whom among us (orchestra hit) is not a little impish with it#first year i did fanart like wouldn't it be fun if joe saw & liked this. second yr like Same plus it did happen last time#then also recency Fun Times bias sure but he did make it a frame in his End Of Year Good Times Celebration video like >:'3#yes i draw exactly what i wanna draw b/c it's some specific thing i enjoy that much so Yep that is the xmas show to me#so powerfully i was moved like ooh fun xmas villain wrole?? in '19 when i was paying attention & relieved of some bmc closure malaise#by the xmas show but obv Least aware / knowledgable lol. technically showed up in '18 around nov/dec but no chance Right then of tuning in#i mean i had the capacity but did not know it existed / even Less helpful preexisting context. anyway so by the time the show returns#& i've done research in between & gone my god i am i live laugh loving like Yeah i'll do more fanart & omg cyril & omg krampusfucking#able to ramp it up this year & like just thanks to Drawing Experience i'm better at forging ahead through thee process even when it's#extra ambitious like my god am i in over my head? well keep swimming for the surface like only several times going [aaa....] only to yknow#not be that tripped up anyway but still go [(celebrate) christmas!!! (with me)] & be like Do It For The Krampusfucking Gift#one post for another like lighting up my life joe just coming out like ''who wants clips. first up Full Cyril Fucks The Krampus number''#like jeez made that happen And passed it along....it's always the like epitome of my art like i make the specific often really niche stuff#i really respond to; does anyone else enjoy this? if yes; Wheeee; sometimes this is also ppl Behind the really niche shit i enjoy#like i truly hope you do get that kick out of it as i slam it up to the window; worth a Highlight Of Your Year or not#the power of [i do like to Draw the things i latch on to] + [internet] for you#really the bsol design even More an event in ''how did i even do this'' b/c even when planning to make it slightly easier like well#fewer figures; i'll use ink pen so i hone the lineart less than i would to precisely get [line weight mostly irrelevant] Line Geometry#yet still going ruh oh i'm honing for sure. but then like did Most of the lineart all in one night + all the coloring the next round#when i draw quite slowly / the Honing is virtually always an inextricable part of my process like i do Nothing in less than Hours#like i think even my freewheeling bsol sketches posted just this morning took me at Least an hour; judging by vids i played in the bg lol#not quite calibrated to have Attuned Confidence In My Ability To Forge Ahead thusly like oh no if i don't have Momentum or it doesn't#happen to be one of those times things just spontaneously come out great right off without more honing / consideration we're fucked....#not actually the case but yknow still realizing this lol But still able to just pat myself on the shoulder like It's Manageable & it is/was
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The brainrot is speaking... I need to create a side account for my DnD AU of Saint Seiya or I might turn evil for real this time
#wren text tag#more than speaking it's screaming in my ear... it's too powerful... help...#turning evil 🙄 as if I wasn't evil already 😂#In short I've been thinking of doodling stuff for it for some time now after that one text I wrote some time ago#and by thinking I mean. Every now and then I imagine which fit I can put those bastards in (they are like dolls to me💕💖)#at the same time I don't want to spam my main too much with rambles and stuff... so a sideblog would be the best option I think#also uhm the idea of having fun with some tumblr themes 🥰💕 so true bestie#yeah I think that could be really enjoyable. Now I have something to do during Xmas holiday lol#definitely don't expect a super duper lore drop or anything but if you want more of that AU... well. There's a sideblog and it exist#now you can see the Saint Seiya char as if they were in a fashion show. Cool uh?#look at the pretty medieval inspired outfits I put on them and be happy lol#the sideblog will be named like uhm “ofstarsandsaints” bc that's what I came up with and the last time I checked it was still f2u#and I hope no one stole it bc I'm kinda shit at finding names#I'd love to talk about one of my dnd character who's a thief and I named it Robin Banks bc I couldn't come up with anything better. Anyway.#better go and get it done
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Is it normal to feel some kind of boundary has been violated when someone over shares with you
#like listen. I don't like this person but I'm noce to them because of basic civility + we have to interact every single day#so like we have to talk i might as well be kind about it but I've never shared anything really personal let alone intimate#because I don't like this person all that much and i definitely don't consider them a friend. we just happen to be in the same space every#day and talk a little. well the other day they told me some really personal stuff. and like ok. i think they were very nervous and needed#someone to talk to. it's ok i won't deny basic compassion lol but also I'm kind of a captive audience? so they told me this very intimate#detail about their relationship to this girl. and i felt very awkward like i really really didn't need to know anything about their#relationship problems and much less the intimate details of it. you know the kind. the kinda sexist comment thrown in betweeen#def didn't help the case. so i gave this person advice because i couldn't help myself but I'm trying really hard not to ask follow ups etc#the worst part is that next day they said something like 'if I'm making you uncomfortable please let me know' which was kind of them. like#yes i AM uncomfortable (and god forgive me i also just generally don't care about their personal life). but even though they had the#awareness and delicacy to ask: 1. damage was done and 2. at this point just saying 'yes I'm uncomfortable' is so awkward in an on itself lol#so yes. I don't know how to set that boundary i really feel like a kidnapped audience in here lmao there is no way i can simply say I'm#uncomfortable without making it worse or ending up looking like an awful person (again this is a person i have to interact with DAILY)#blabla
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the way franklin has silna's father's body disposed of in ep 3 is a really fascinating indication of how the english see the inuit to me.
because yeah, obviously it's incredibly disrespectful in ignoring the man's own burial traditions and even from an entirely english pov as a way to "bury" someone. but on top of that i find it very telling that they felt it was their place to bury him at all--if they truly didn't think he was worth the trouble, why not just give his body to silna?
they must have felt on some level they had a claim to his body and, perhaps in their seeing themselves as a last outpost of civilization, a duty to make sure it was taken care of. even though they clearly didn't care one bit about the man they were actually burying.
this moment is one of a few in the show where the english seem to assume, entirely without question, that they have authority over the arctic and the people in it. that just by virtue of being english they are naturally and immediately the highest (worldly) power present. which obviously betrays a deeply imperialistic worldview.
and in showing that insidious assumption of authority in interaction with more baldly racist disrespect and disregard towards a netsilik person, i feel this moments highlights the twofold superiority the english feel over the inuit: both as having an exclusive claim to power and as having an exclusive claim to personhood
#is this coherent. hopefully#the terror#obligatory disclaimer i've done some reading on relations between the inuit and victorians but it hasn't necessarily been extensive#so lmk if this is way off base#but i do feel there is sort of a paternalistic bend to the way the english position themselves wrt the netsilik throughout the show#that from what i can tell reflects actual victorian attitudes#like whenever a character (say goodsir or crozier) approaches the netsilik with more decency (especially nearer to the start of the show)#it reads to me not as ''the basic dignity you afford fellow human beings bc they're your fellows''#but as ''the burden of care you have towards those weaker than yourself''#for example in the same ep when goodsir tells the men to bury the talismans with silna's father#obviously he means well and is acting from a place of compassion and even attempted respect#but i do find it telling that he never questions whether it's HIS place to make that decision.#he assumes implicitly that he has both the authority and the knowledge to decide how the body should be treated. when really he has neither
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alright folks, I'll probably finish SVSSS v4 by this weekend (pray for me) and then I'll be done all of MXTX's books and I have no idea which series to try next... So!! I'm going to pose the question to people that might have more experience in the genre! These are ones I've either incidentally acquired or been recommended
#help me out i'm indecisive and not well informed about the genre i don't even know if they're all technically the same genre#i started mdzs in 2022#i just finished tgcf at the start of the summer#and now i'm working through the last of svsss#i've been reading mxtx books for two years and guys i'm so not ready to be done (；′⌒`)#i'm exerting so much self-restraint by not giving up and restarting mdzs#but i've ended up with a surprisingly large stack of books over the years and i should try something new#for apothecary diaries i'm actually on book 2 i read the first back in may and wouldn't mind continuing it it's funny#as a rule i'm not huge on isekai's but svsss has warmed me to them and disabled tyrants sounds hilarious i'm intrigued#i think beware of chicken is actually by a canadian author...? but it seems to fit the genre and i had a friend passionately recommend it#so i've picked it up and should read it at some point#the other 3 i know basically nothing about buy i found the first books cheap at a used book sale and grabbed them on a whim#bene speaks
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someone left a comment on my fic and while, like, yay a comment, it's so guilt trippy which sucks
#libra.txt#i am considering marking breaking the chain as complete and tagging it as discontinued#like i'm glad this person enjoyed it but they didn't have to phrase it that way.............#also it's only been abandoned two years.....#which as i typed that out i realised that. well. it's been two years. oops.#i cherish that fic so dearly. but i have no idea where i was going to go with it. and that makes me sad#i like where it stops. it leaves much to the imagination. they can keep on adventuring#and yes. there's about 15k words in the document that could be used eventually. but idk! idk#i hope i never get in the same headspace as when i wrote that fic bc it was some of the worst weeks of my life.#i genuinely thought i was going to die. and now i don't! which is nice!#but the fic has become lost to me. i don't know what to do with it! i don't want it to spiral out of control!#it was just my episodic little character exploration and now i've done what i wanted to do and idk what's left#some comments are really sweet and i want to return to this fic for them#but this comment...... idk it just kinda stung
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The very first face Milo saw on their first day at work was, of course, Diego, the very person who recommended Milo for the job. Milo knew Diego from university classes - he and his best friend April kind of adopted Milo under their sociable wing.
Diego hasn't been having a good time lately - he was forced to drop out of the university and his athletic program after getting injured, and was currently recovering and trying to get into the firefighting academy. However, Milo envied Diego's ability to always stay positive, no matter what. Well, at least in public - who knows whether Diego would shed some tears in the privacy of his home. Milo hoped he did, for his own sake.
Diego: Milo! Hey, buddy! Nervous?
Milo: Duh. When am I not?
Diego: Okay, remember, you have nothing to worry about. Actually, today's predicted to be a rather quiet day, so you will have just enough time and space to get accustomed!
Milo: ... thanks, Diego. Although, my neverending pessimism doesn't one hundred percent trust the "quiet day" thing.
Diego: No, I promise! Tuesdays are always like this. Would you go to the water park on Tuesday?
Milo: ... no?
Diego: Exactly.
#sims#ts3#sims 3#Electromagnets#milo caspar#diego aguilar#new character alert!#fun fact: at one point during the brief absence of irene in the verse which we should thank lennias for#because she was replaced with eden but then eden became a different character and I missed irene and brought her back as a niece of tobias#milo and diego were supposed to be an item#I still ship it just a teeny tiny bit they were cute but they do really work better as friends#mirene are just irreplaceable for me#at the time I did have some insecurities about irene and a crisis over my verse and generally wasn't doing well mentally#it wasn't her fault at all it was just me doubting myself and everything I've ever done so I thought it would be fine if I switch things up#and like I didn't particularly *want* to remove her but the verse had to be restructured for lennias#but it never the same without her and I missed my girl so I just switched up some parentage and brought her back
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People were mad bc Karolsen was broken up to put Kara with a white slave owner.
yeah actually now you mention it... he did own slaves. that is very much a thing that he did. was own slaves. not gonna lie i totally forgot about that part
#the karolsen revisionism was truly egregious as well. that part didnt escape me at least#when kara was in cat's office like: im in love with mon el. i've never been in love or fancied a man before.last season didnt happen btw :)#and cat. who spent a not insignificant amount of time last season giving kara pep talks and telling her how to get james to fancy her#was like yes this is true i've seen it :)#but yeah. the slave thing was not good. they really didnt have to make daxom a slave-owning culture? or at least ALL of daxom#even if they were married to the “mon el's mom tries to enslave humanity” plotline they could have made that a her problem...#or a specific political faction on daxom rather than just “the entire planet is built on enslaved labour and everyone thinks it's fine”#this is a symptom of lazy worldbuilding that basically all of sci-fi falls into where all alien races are a monolith#it's like unlike earth. where there are hundreds (thousands?) of languages and subcultures and different biological traits#and differences in race/disability/gender/religion and so on. they'll have an alien show up#like hello i am from the planet zorg. it is as large as earth if not larger but we all speak the same language#look almost identical and have the same religious and cultural beliefs :)#like they could have at least lessened the problem by having mon el be anti-slavery before he himself was enslaved#or just not done the slave thing at all which would have been unquestionably a better option#but. this is the tv network that did an au that was like “all your faves are nazis for some reason” so that's probably expecting too much
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By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pyramid Head#The Captain#Blood#The cuts themselves are just black and white because I'm controlling myself lol - clearly not That much with the rest but hey!#Still it is a very nasty cut for how nonchalantly I've drawn them all haha - ZEX's back too he's just facing forward#I also momentarily forgot that he was in his uniform it's fine don't worry about it lol#All these speculations on where and how about the injuries and then just - What Uniform That I Am Enamoured By? Haha#I've done the same thing with DAX I keep forgetting about his poor ankle and then it comes up and I'm like ''Oh yeah haha I knew that''#How are some details so sticky and others so smoke-like! Some stay in my brain and others - pffbtl how silly#All the same it's still the Funnest Fun <3#There's something so Extra delightful to have Seen a setpiece - an object - an idea - and then get to interact with it <3 <3#Hitting Pyramid Head with Zelnick's frying pan! Forget PH I can't believe we had the budget for the skillet's appearance fee ♪♫ Hehehe#No but honestly Pyramid Head was incredible ✨ Wonderfully scary and distressing and tense and full of fallout! Terrible things!! ♪♫#I've never drawn him before so it was interesting! :0 His appearance in SH2 looks all squished#Like his belly is jutting out across from a broken spine! Quite spooky#I don't think I fully managed to capture that - kinda just looks like his hip bones are very prominent hehe - but maybe some other time :)#I hope they don't run into him again - for their sake tho haha ♪#DAX continually pulling ZEX behind him to try and protect him (and failing) was something I really Had to put to paper <3#As well as snuggles!! Even before they got Really hurt I was like Oh everyone needs hugs so bad :'0 And they do!! They need so many hugs!#Maybe especially Zelnick poor Captain :'0 Give this boy a break#The injuries are more of a self-guide hehe I'm not sure how accurate they are - they Feel accurate based on handedness et al#I was the least sure for Zelnick since he got tossed (poor thing!) but at least bruises are always fun to draw hehe#The return of my rainbow bruises lol - I only use three colours they're just so vibrant!#DAX trying so~ hard not to be taken in hehe what could these feelings be! Familiarly repressed? No surely not ♪#Be nice ♫
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not to overstate things but truly my vilain origin story is the number of people who seem to think that 'what are useful ways to interact with visual art' is not a complex conversation that's lasted for centuries
#i've seen so many posts about this when it comes to literature but the vast consesus on this site and often of it#is that visual art is just meant to make you feel things and therefore that same conversation is IMMEDIATELY elitist when it comes to visua#*visual art#i know thats a take people have for literature is well dont get me wrong#its just that i've seen a lot more people defend the importance of critically interacting with litearture than with visual art#where because of capitalist art instituions that represent conceptua and modern art#people go down this insane route of -> conceptual and modern art is inherently elitist and bad -> therefore thinking about art is actually#elistist and bad#?????????????#NO#okay im done#i should just go back to posting about art theory#make some more posts with 2 notes about it#make a lil basic 101 art theory through the ages#logs#general art tag
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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