#and I'm trying to convince her I'm not just being polite about enjoying them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wholoveseggs · 1 year ago

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Warmth - Part Three

18+ ---- {Masterlist}

This is just a smutty little thing about being in an arraigned marriage to a certain original vampire.

If you rather read this on Ao3- Link is here

{Part One} {Part Two}

Back in the vibrant streets of New Orleans, relishing in your newfound freedom. Life takes an unexpected turn as the shadows of your past life loom large, pulling you back into the life you just escaped. Yet, amidst the haunting echoes, you find strength in a partner who is ready to go to any lengths for you.

8k words (whoops) - Warnings: Smut, drama & Elijah being a wife guy.

Part Three

The blissful week of your honeymoon unfolded like a dream, each moment seemingly plucked from a fairy tale. The idyllic cottage, delicious food, and fantastic sex painted a picture of a life you never thought possible.

Now, back in New Orleans, a newfound sense of liberation coursed through you. This freedom allowed you to make choices without restraint, doing whatever pleased you without scrutiny.

You spent the day at the record shop, browsing for a particular album that was deeply sentimental to you. When you found it, you almost squealed with glee, leaving the shop with a huge grin on your face.

You decided to walk back to the compound, enjoying the sun on your bare skin. During your time with the human faction, modest dressing was mandatory, even in sweltering weather. Yet, when Rebekah presented the daring silk backless dress for your wedding, you dared to dream of a possible future with true freedom. Now, you were living it.

However, your happiness took a sudden hit when you crossed paths with some faction wives on the street. Their envious and disdainful looks made you feel self-conscious in your short leather skirt and knee-high boots.

"I thought you would be dead by now," one of them remarked with a sneer, scanning your outfit with disapproval.

"Is your husband just keeping you around as a snack?" another quipped, her words laced with sharp mockery.

"Actually, I just got back from my honeymoon," you replied, trying to politely leave the conversation.

Laughter erupted from the group as they exchanged incredulous looks. "Vampires don't procreate, darling. What's the point of all that?" one of them scoffed.

Your patience wore thin, and with a tight smile, you excused yourself. "Well, I have better things to do than…this. Enjoy your day."

As you walked away, their judgment lingered in the air, casting a shadow over your earlier joy. You knew they were victims just as much as you had been; they coped with their circumstances by making others feel as bad as them. With your head held high, you headed back to the compound, trying not to let them dampen your mood.

Klaus stormed up to you in a huff, his accusing gaze piercing through you as you entered through the main gate. "Where were you, and what did you do?" he demanded, suspicion heavy in his voice.

"Uhh, I went to the record store and bought a record?" You replied, a confused look on your face.

"There was an attack on a group of vampires, orchestrated by the human faction," Klaus stated, giving you an icy glare.

"I'm sorry to hear that," you said sincerely.

Klaus leaned in, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl. "Are you still involved with the humans? Are you a spy for them?"

"Niklaus," Elijah’s voice cut through the tension, he was standing on the balcony above, giving his brother a stern look. "There's no way she's a spy. She was abused by them, not collaborating with them."

Klaus crossed his arms, skepticism etched on his face. "Abuse could be a convenient cover, Elijah. We both know the lengths people go to achieve their goals."

You stepped forward, a hint of frustration in your voice. "I had a run-in with some of the faction wives. They insulted and questioned me, I'm not a spy."

Klaus raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "What did you talk about?"

"Just casual things," you replied with a forced nonchalance. "The honeymoon, mostly. They threw in some comments about vampires not being able to procreate. It was just a rather short and grating interaction."

Elijah descended the stairs and stood beside you, placing a protective hand on your waist. "When did this happen?" He asked gently.

"Like an hour ago," you replied, looking from Klaus to Elijah as they shared a silent exchange. "Do you think the attack has something to do with me?"

"Possibly," Klaus replied, pacing around with his usual dramatic flair. "The attack happened not long after your interaction with them."

Elijah's phone suddenly rang, and his expression turned dark when he answered it. Klaus was staring at him, clearly listening to the conversation you couldn't hear; his expression changed from serious to frighteningly amused.

When Elijah hung up, a heavy sigh escaped him, and he looked at Klaus with a deep furrow in his brow. "It seems we have been invited to a dinner party with your former faction," he said to you, bitterness lacing his tone.

"Why?" you asked, the word barely escaping your lips as a surge of anxiety tightened your throat.

"Apparently, renegotiations," Elijah replied with a hint of darkness in his tone, his gaze locking onto yours. He gently clasped your trembling hand, planting a reassuring kiss against it. "You will be fine," he assured you.

"I thought as much," Klaus said with a bitter laugh, "Looks like your little alliance isn't going as you planned, dear brother."

Elijah shot Klaus a disapproving glare. "I understand you've never approved of my methods, but everything I did was to avoid further bloodshed."

Klaus rolled his eyes, beginning to stroll away, leaving you both with a sardonic smile. "It appears my methods might be more fitting in this situation, unless you're willing to return her," Klaus uttered darkly, gesturing toward you.

Elijah’s grip on your waist tightened. "That's not an option."

"I know, brother, I know," Klaus laughed as he left the courtyard, clearly amused by the whole situation.

Despite Elijah's comforting words, irrational thoughts flooded your mind. Was Klaus right? Was this some cruel ploy to reclaim you, to drag you back into a life you had just escaped?

Elijah sensed your apprehension, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. "I won't let anything happen to you," he vowed, his eyes filled with a protective intensity.

"You don’t know what they are like," you confessed nervously, your voice barely above a whisper. "What if they want to break the alliance? Take me back?"

Elijah's gaze held a steady determination. "They can break the alliance if they please, but that would be remarkably unwise of them," he replied, his tone unwavering. He tightened his embrace, as if shielding you from an impending storm. "You're not a pawn to be traded back and forth; they have no power to reclaim you."

Elijah's confidence gave you strength, calming the waves of anxiety that threatened to engulf you. He would protect you. No one could take you away from him.

A small smile curled his lips as he placed a soft kiss against your forehead. "This might actually be a blessing in disguise," he mused, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Perhaps a demonstration of their misguided arrogance is required."

"No," you said firmly, folding your arms across your chest.

"You would look so beautiful in it," Elijah protested, gesturing toward the garment bag draped over a chair.

"It's not really dinner party appropriate," you said with a shrug, not wanting to reveal the real reason behind your reluctance.

Elijah cocked his head, studying you intently. "Is this about the dress or something else?"

You hesitated, glancing away. "It's about everything. The attack, the faction wives, the fact that I'm about to dine with people who treated me like property."

"They have no power over you anymore," Elijah reminded you, gently taking your hand in his. "And where has your rebellious spirit flown off too all of a sudden?"

"I guess I just want to prove them wrong," you said, shrugging slightly. "I want them to see that I've won, that I'm happy. Wearing a dress that is far too risqué would undermine that."

"My dear," Elijah murmured, pulling you close and gently cupping your cheek, "They will never accept you as anything other than an object. No matter what you wear. That is not your burden to bear; it is theirs."

His words pierced through your self-doubt, filling you with a newfound sense of conviction. He was right; your only duty was to be yourself, not to try and live up to their impossible expectations.

"You’re right," you said, looking up at him as a devious smile spread across your lips. "But it will piss them off, and that could make negotiations more difficult."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," he replied with a smirk, his arms wrapping around your waist affectionately.

Your eyes narrowed, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. "So, you want me to dress up to embarrass them?"

Elijah leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. "I want you to show them exactly who you are and how powerful you have become," he said softly, giving you an encouraging kiss on the cheek.

With a renewed sense of determination, you stepped towards the garment bag and fully unzipped it, taking out a breathtaking silk dress. It was black, with a daringly low back and a slit that would reveal almost all of your leg. It was the perfect mix of sophisticated and sexy, the kind of dress that the faction would completely disapprove of.

You smiled as you slipped on the dress, savoring the feeling of the cool silk against your skin. A thrill ran through you at the thought of what tonight might bring, a strange mix of anxiety and excitement.

Elijah looked at you, a combination of pride and admiration on his face. The hunger in his eyes was palpable, and it made you want to rip his clothes off and let him have his way with you.

But, alas, there was a dinner party to attend.

The car pulled up to the grand estate, and the familiar sight stirred memories you had fought hard to bury. The imposing structure, the opulent surroundings—they whispered of a past that still clung to you. It had only been a few weeks since you had left this life behind, and now you were thrust back into its midst.

Elijah ushered you through the door, his hand offering warmth and reassurance as he drew you close. "Try and relax. I will kill them all before they lay a finger on you," he assured with a grin, sealing the promise with a gentle kiss on your cheek before guiding you inside.

As dinner approached, you found yourself surrounded by your adoptive sisters and faction wives, a gathering of women who had consistently cast you as the family's black sheep. The forced marriage to Elijah was intended to be your punishment, and in the weeks leading up to the wedding, they took every opportunity to remind you of it.

Their eyes, once filled with disdain, now flickered with a mix of envy and fear as they noticed Elijah's presence across the room.

"Isn't he attractive," one of them commented, eyes lingering on Elijah. "I wish my husband looked like that."

"He's a vampire, for goodness' sake. I wouldn't want to be near him," another replied, her tone a mix of fascination and repulsion.

You smiled politely, choosing not to engage in their speculative chatter. The women, fueled by curiosity and perhaps a tinge of jealousy, couldn't resist bombarding you with questions.

"So, how does he... treat you?" one of them asked, her expression a mix of faux concern and genuine intrigue.

"Does he, like, drink your blood?" another blurted out with a shudder, as if the mere thought was enough to make her cringe.

"He must mind-control you, being a vampire and all," another woman remarked, her tone dripping with condescension.

You attempted to change the subject. "Do you ladies know what this dinner party is about?" You asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

"Our husbands don't share that sort of information with us," one added, giving you a critical look. "It's not for us to concern ourselves with."

"I've heard it's because your husband is not living up to his end of the deal," another added, clearly loving the chance to gossip.

"No, Elijah is a man of his word." You argued, looking around at the women. "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding."

"There is no misunderstanding your recent behavior," the ringleader interjected. "Perhaps the faction is unhappy with your marriage, that it's not meeting their expectations," she added, barely hiding her amusement.

"What was the expectation exactly? That I'd be subjugated by my husband?" you replied harshly.

They scoffed, exchanging knowing glances. "You have been parading around like a whore and out in public without an escort. I've also heard rumors about that honeymoon of yours; you always did have a penchant for the scandalous," one of them commented, a malicious smirk playing on her face.

You raised an eyebrow, unable to resist returning their insults. "Well, I suppose being miserable is a tradition around here. But don't worry, I'll let you know if I ever need advice on how to be unhappy and unsatisfied."

"Oh, dear," one of them scoffed, feigning pity. "You must be so blinded by the allure of a vampire that you can't see the chains he'll undoubtedly tighten around you."

Another chimed in, suggesting, "Perhaps he inflicts pain in bed, then erases it from your mind with mind control."

"It's only fitting you endure such punishment, since you tarnished yourself before marriage," added another with a venomous tone.

"You know, it's fascinating how you all revel in your misery," you retorted, your words cutting through the whispers of the women.

"I heard vampires get bored easily," one of them sneered. "What happens when he loses interest in you?"

As their petty remarks continued, you maintained your composure, refusing to let their jealousy and bitterness affect you. Just before the conversation could delve further into the realm of absurdity, Elijah gracefully approached, cutting through the toxic atmosphere with his warm presence.

"Ladies," he greeted them with a charming smile, "how delightful to see you all."

They greeted him with forced smiles, their eyes shifting between you and Elijah. The ringleader couldn't resist her curiosity. "Are you happy with your new bride, Mr. Mikaelson?"

Elijah's eyes met yours, a fondness in their depths. "Immensely," he replied sincerely. "I believe I've married the best your faction has to offer."

A collective gasp rippled through the women, and you couldn't help but smirk at their transparent jealousy. Elijah then turned to you, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek that seemed calculated to fuel their envy.

"I must steal my lovely wife away for a moment," he announced, gently leading you away from the disapproving gazes. The lingering resentment from the women was almost tangible as you followed Elijah, escaping the judgmental whispers.

"They implied that they know details about our honeymoon, what a bunch of fucking weirdos," you whispered to Elijah in the shelter of a quiet corridor.

A small, understanding smile played on his lips as he gently pushed you against a wall, leaning in to kiss you softly. "They have spies everywhere," he whispered. His lips then trailed down your neck, each kiss a deliberate act of defiance against the gossiping crowd.

"They are being petty and bitter, still trying to punish me," you admitted breathlessly, your emotions a whirlwind as Elijah's touches sparked a mixture of desire and rebellion.

"What exactly did you do?" Elijah asked, gently pulling away from the delicate curve of your neck, curiosity dancing in his eyes. "You only mentioned that you were not considered pure by them."

You placed your hands on his chest, idly toying with his tie. "I may have been caught, you know, engaging in some activities with a young man in the garden," you confessed, avoiding direct eye contact, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

A low chuckle escaped Elijah, followed by another gentle kiss. "Good work," he teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "I'm sure that stirred up quite a reaction."

"It did," you responded, a sheepish grin crossing your face. "They couldn't proceed with marrying me off to his father after that."

You made eye contact with Elijah and the both of you burst out laughing, the sound echoing unexpectedly in the quiet corridor. Swiftly realizing the need for composure, you both attempted to stifle the laughter.

"We can always try to further tarnish your reputation," Elijah teased, a playful grin on his lips as he leaned in for another kiss.

Your smile lingered, but you gently pushed him away. "As much as I would love that," you replied playfully, "I believe we should consider playing along. Maybe we can still find a way to maintain some semblance of peace."

"If that is what you desire," Elijah responded with a smile. He took your hand and led you toward the dining hall.

The air in the grand dining room was thick with tension as you headed to your seat. This room, once off-limits to you, now hosted a gathering that felt more like a trial than a negotiation. Familiar faces, some masked in false pleasantries, stared back at you. Uncomfortable memories resurfaced, and you wished you could erase the knowledge of these people from your past.

Elijah guided you with a protective hand on the small of your back, his presence a reassuring anchor in the storm of emotions. You sat down next to your adoptive mother, avoiding her icy gaze. The air was thick with tension, and the clinking of cutlery against fine china echoed through the room.

Your former adoptive mother stood, gesturing for the other guests to remain seated. Her stern gaze turned to you and Elijah.

"It is so good to see you both," she began, her voice dripping with fake sincerity. "I'm sorry we haven't had the opportunity to properly catch up."

You forced a smile, hoping it was convincing enough. "The pleasure is all ours, mother," you lied. "Thank you for hosting such a wonderful evening."

The dinner progressed as expected, with the usual banal small talk and insincere pleasantries. You could feel the tension in the room, a palpable reminder that no one truly wanted you here.

As the dessert was taken away, your adoptive father stood and cleared his throat, capturing the attention of everyone in the room. "Mr. Mikaelson," he began, addressing your husband with a stern gaze, "It seems that we must discuss some new terms if our alliance is to be maintained."

Elijah, ever composed, inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the formality. "I am open to discussions," he replied evenly.

"When we agreed to marry one of our precious daughters to you, we expected a more old-fashioned approach. There must be a clear understanding of hierarchy. We are aware that our dear daughter may have... unconventional views on equality, but for the sake of harmony, you must maintain a certain level of control over her." your adoptive father continued, his gaze unwavering.

"So, you’ve called me here to discuss… what exactly?" Elijah asked, his voice dripping with disdain. "That I make my wife unhappy?"

The tension in the room escalated, each word carrying the weight of expectations and the unspoken threat of consequences. You gripped the edge of your chair, feeling the eyes of the faction bore into you.

"Our faction values tradition, and you and your wife's... liberal perspectives should not compromise the delicate balance we've achieved." Your adoptive mother added, her tone icy.

"My understanding is that you view me as an evil, degenerate monster, and yet you willingly gave your daughter to my family." Elijah said smoothly, leaning casually in his chair and looking around the table at the cowering faces. "It was you that insisted on a marriage pact, because you wanted to punish her."

Your former adoptive mother sighed and rolled her eyes. "She was always a rebellious child, and we had hoped she would learn some discipline under your watch."

"You have no authority to impose any rules over my wife, and as her husband, I have every right to ensure her happiness," Elijah replied, his voice low and dangerous.

The faction members exchanged uneasy glances, sensing a shift in the balance of power. Elijah continued, sarcasm lacing his words. "I apologize that your punishment didn't go as planned… but that's not my concern. Now do you have anything of actual value to discuss with me?"

Amidst the whispered threats and veiled insults, your adoptive mother leaned in, her voice a venomous whisper. "You're nothing more than a vampire's whore, my dear. He'll grow tired of you, mark my words. You'll age, and when you're no longer a viable hole, he'll discard you like yesterday's trash."

The words cut deep, and you shot her a wounded look. It wasn't the first time they had called you a whore, but it stung more this time.

"I'd rather be a vampire's whore than a spineless, miserable woman like you." You seethed. The words were out of your mouth before you could think.

She laughed, her voice sharp and cold. "You truly are a disgrace to the family."

Before you could respond, Elijah placed a calming hand on yours. He smiled, the gesture a sharp contrast to the rage you knew he was fighting to control. "Let me make something perfectly clear. She is a Mikaelson now and you have no control over what we do,"

Elijah's voice, though measured, carried a stern authority that demanded attention. The faction members, accustomed to their position of influence, shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Your adoptive mother, however, met Elijah's gaze with a defiant smirk.

"We understand, but surely you can see the wisdom in maintaining a balance between power and freedom. You wouldn't want our factions to go to war because of her actions, now would you?" Your adoptive mother challenged, her gaze fixed on Elijah.

Elijah's lips curved into a sardonic smile. "You seem to be under the illusion that I need this alliance. I agreed to it for the sake of peace, but do not mistake my compliance for weakness. I could easily rip out every single one of your tongues before you could utter a word in protest."

The room fell silent, and a cold shiver ran down the spines of the faction members as they found themselves face to face with the unyielding determination of a thousand-year-old vampire. Elijah's eyes gleamed with a dangerous glint, and the air became charged with an unmistakable tension.

Your adoptive father, attempting to salvage some semblance of control, stammered, "Mr. Mikaelson, there's no need for threats. We are merely trying to establish a harmonious relationship."

Elijah's gaze remained fixed on your adoptive mother, his tone low and menacing. "My family has a tendency to respond decisively when one of our own is threatened."

Elijah's words hung in the air like a dark omen. The grand dining room, once a space for diplomacy and negotiation, now crackled with an impending sense of conflict. The faction members, who had been so assured of their position, exchanged uneasy glances as the weight of Elijah's threat settled over them.

Your adoptive mother, her earlier bravado waning, swallowed hard. The malicious glint in her eyes faded into a flicker of doubt. For the first time, the façade of control she had meticulously maintained began to crumble.

Elijah rose to his feet, causing unease to ripple through the faction members. He bestowed upon them a sinister smile, wide but devoid of warmth, "Well then, it appears negotiations have reached their conclusion." His gaze shifted to your adoptive father, the sinister expression unwavering. "If we are not allies, I suppose we are at war."

With that, Elijah turned to you, reaching out his hand, and together, you walked out of the room, leaving the faction to their fear and uncertainty. The night air was cool and fresh as you stepped out into the garden, the tension finally releasing from your shoulders. Elijah's presence beside you was comforting, a solid reassurance that the night was over.

He pulled you close, his eyes searching yours. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, his hand caressing your cheek.

You smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. "I'm fine," you replied, leaning into his touch. His other hand found yours, fingers intertwining in a silent affirmation of unity.

"You didn't have to do that for me," you said quietly, feeling far too vulnerable to meet his gaze.

"Of course I did," he replied, softly, placing a lingering kiss on your cheek. "You are my family."

As you gazed into his eyes, a feeling of longing bloomed within you. "I can't believe you threatened them like that," you breathed.

"Well, they were being quite rude," Elijah remarked, his voice tinged with amusement.

His lips grazed yours in a soft kiss, his arms pressing your body to his. You let yourself sink into the moment, savoring the quiet intimacy. He pulled away from the kiss and looked around the garden, giving you a mischievous look. “You know… I have an idea,"

You raised an eyebrow, amused by his sudden playful demeanor. "Oh, really? And what would that be?"

He didn't answer, but his eyes sparkled with mischief. You followed him deeper into the garden, where he pulled you close and began to kiss you again. His hands moved up your back, tracing your bare skin with his fingertips.

"Elijah," you gasped, his touches setting every nerve on fire. “What if they catch us out here?"

He didn't respond, just kissed you harder, his lips hungry and eager. You surrendered to the kiss, letting yourself fall into the passion of the moment.

The night air was filled with the sound of your breathless moans as Elijah kissed your neck, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin. He slowly pulled down the straps of your dress, revealing your bare chest to the moonlight.

His eyes roamed over your body, taking in every curve and inch of skin. He cupped one breast, teasing the nipple with his thumb. Your breath caught as his other hand slipped under the slit of your dress, his fingers exploring the hem of your panties.

“Where exactly did they catch you with that boy?" He whispered in your ear.

"Behind the fountain," you said, the memory making you blush.

A playful smile danced across his lips. He took your hand and led you behind the stone sculpture, pressing you against the wall. He kissed your neck, his lips lingering on the soft skin. You felt his fingers sliding under the thin fabric of your underwear.

You bit your lip, stifling a moan as his fingers brushed against your clit, his eyes fixed on your face. He stroked the sensitive spot slowly, watching your reaction with a satisfied smile.

"Did he touch you here?" he asked softly.

"Yes," you managed to breathe out, your heart racing at the memory.

Elijah's lips curved into a smirk, his gaze darkening. He pressed his body closer, a hand running down your leg and lifting your thigh around his hip. His fingers continued their gentle rhythm before he slipped a finger inside you, his lips inches away from yours.

"And did you enjoy it?" he whispered.

"Yes," you gasped.

He increased the pressure, his fingers moving faster, drawing a gasp from you. You felt the familiar tightening in your stomach, the heat building between your legs.

"I bet he was clumsy and inexperienced," he teased, his voice a low purr.

You moaned in response, your eyes closing as his fingers slid deeper.

"I bet he didn't know how to please a woman like you."

His breath was hot on your skin as his fingers continued their slow rhythm, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

"Elijah," you whimpered.

"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked.

"I need more," you pleaded.

His lips curved into a smirk. "More, what?"

"Stop teasing me," you moaned, gripping at his shoulders.

He chuckled and slid a second finger inside you, curling them at the perfect angle. You gasped as his fingers began moving faster, his thumb circling your clit. Your breath came in short gasps, your body trembling under his touch.

You felt the pressure building, your hips bucking against his hand, desperate for release.

He withdrew his fingers and his lips captured yours, kissing you deeply. You whined into his mouth, desperately frustrated by his denial.

“Please fuck me," you begged, your hands gripping his hair, keeping him close to you.

“Where is the nearest bench?" He teased, a wide lustful smile on his face.

You pointed to a nearby stone bench behind him and he scooped you up and in a flash you were seated in his lap upon it.

His lips claimed yours again, and his hands gripped your hips. You straddled him, your hands roaming his body, feeling his muscles flex beneath his shirt. You could feel his cock straining against his pants, and you rubbed yourself against it, desperate for friction.

"So impatient," he teased, his voice a low growl.

You reached down, unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants. You took him in your hand, stroking him slowly. His breath hitched, his hips bucking against your touch.

“You know, I had this particularly naughty idea of fucking you right on the dining table," he purred, gazing at you with admiration.

You moaned at the thought, imagining him taking you on the grand table, surrounded by the shocked faces of the faction members. You lifted yourself slightly and lowered onto his length, savoring the way he filled you.

His eyes closed, a soft groan escaping his lips. You began to move, riding him slowly, taking him deeper with each thrust.

His hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you rocked against him. You moaned, feeling the tension building again. You leaned forward, pressing your breasts into his face.

He began kissing and sucking your nipples, his teeth gently scraping against the sensitive skin. The sensation sent shivers through your body, and you cried out, arching your back.

You quickly covered your mouth, afraid of getting caught. He smiled, his hands pulling your arms away, allowing your moans to fill the air.

"Let them hear," he growled.

He gripped your hips tighter, thrusting up into you with a fierce intensity. You leaned forward, burying your face in his neck, muffling your cries. You began to tighten around him, your body shaking with pleasure.

"I told you, sweet wife, don't be quiet," he commanded.

You let go, moaning his name as the orgasm rocked your body. Your nails dug into his shoulders, and you felt him tense, his cock pulsing inside you as he filled you with his cum.

You collapsed against him, breathing heavily, and his arms wrapped around you. He kissed your temple, holding you close.

"Are you ready to go home?" He asked softly.

You nodded, still catching your breath. "Yes."

He smiled and picked you up, his arms cradling you. You felt safe and content in his embrace, the stress of the evening fading away. He set you down near the car, some of the faction members had gathered outside, watching you with disapproving glares.

“They definitely heard us," you whispered as Elijah opened the passenger door for you.

He leaned down and kissed you on the cheek, the gesture full of warmth and love. "Good," he said. "Let them hear how happy I make you."

As you sat in the car, watching him walk around to the driver's side, a thought crossed your mind. This was what real freedom was, the freedom to love and be loved. It was not the absence of boundaries, but the choice to cross them when it suited you.

You gazed at Elijah, his eyes shining in the dim light of the car, and your heart swelled. It was in that moment you realized that you had truly fallen for him.

When you arrived at the compound, Elijah went off to discuss matters with Klaus, and you returned to your bedroom. You were still getting used to the place being your home. Elijah put in a lot of effort to make you feel comfortable, even suggesting renovations. You laughed at the idea, the entire concept so foreign to the life you had always known.

You eyed the record you had purchased that morning; after the day's events, you had completely forgotten about it. You smiled and unwrapped it, placing it on the new record player Elijah had bought for you.

You smiled as the music filled the room, pulling off your dress and changing into more comfortable clothing. Then you settled by the fireplace, sinking into the sofa and letting out a soft sigh of contentment. Feeling relaxed was something you had to practice. Living back with the faction, you were always on edge, and even when you slept, your dreams were fraught with anxiety. But somehow, here, surrounded by the deadliest family on earth, you felt safe and calm.

You heard a knock at the door and expected to see Elijah, to your surprise it was Klaus, leaning in the doorframe with his usual causal arrogance.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if we could have a little chat," he said, a sly smile playing on his lips.

Curiosity piqued, you invited him in and he took a seat next to you.

"Now that you're part of the family, I thought it was high time we got to know each other better," Klaus began, his tone surprisingly genial.

You seized the opportunity to address the lingering suspicion. "Do you still think I'm a spy?"

Klaus brushed off the question with a chuckle. "Let's leave suspicions behind for now. I'm more interested in hearing about your honeymoon, the one I so thoughtfully planned."

“It was lovely," you said sincerely, giving him a kind smile. “But the lingerie was a bit presumptuous of you," you teased.

Klaus chuckled, "Well, I thought if you two bonded, such undergarments would be appreciated."

You rolled your eyes at his comment, “well, the rest of it was very nice," you replied politely. “But I'm confused as to why you planned it in the first place,"

Klaus leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Why not? I enjoy orchestrating delightful surprises, and what better way to test the strength of your newfound alliance than a romantic getaway?"

You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "I thought you hated the alliance,"

He smirked. “I just wanted you two lovebirds to have a memorable time."

You sighed, realizing Klaus's motives were often shrouded in layers of complexity. "Fair enough. It was, indeed, memorable."

He leaned in, his tone turning more serious. "I hope the robbers didn't rough you up too much,"

Your eyes narrowed. "Elijah told you about that?"

Klaus shrugged coyly, "I just hope it didn't dampen the mood,"

You frowned. "Are you saying you orchestrated that?"

“When Elijah told me he was to marry, I did my research," Klaus gave you a knowing grin. “I was confused as to why the human faction would marry one of their women to a vampire, they loathe our very existence. They treat their women like livestock, to be traded and bred, so why would they insist on a marriage when they gain nothing from it? Then, I learned you were a bit infamous for being promiscuous."

You blushed, hating the knowledge of your poor reputation spreading. “Great," you said sarcastically, unable to meet Klaus’ gaze.

“I knew Elijah would treat you with the kind of respect you had never experienced before and the faction wouldn't be pleased, when they obviously handed you over as a way to hurt you," Klaus continued, giving you a wicked grin.

“How perceptive of you," you replied sardonically. “I fail to see why having me attacked on my honeymoon factors in,"

Klaus leaned back, a self-satisfied smile on his face. "You see, my dear, Elijah has a weakness. He can't resist saving a pretty face, and most women can't resist his heroic charm. It was meant to be a bonding exercise."

“So you saw a way to break the alliance, by using me to manipulate Elijah," you responded, a mixture of disbelief and frustration coloring your tone.

Klaus's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh, my dear, alliances in our world are as fickle as the wind. I merely set the stage for the inevitable. The human faction, their minds poisoned by centuries-old prejudices, would never truly accept a truce with vampires. This little ordeal was just the spark needed to set the powder keg ablaze."

You sighed, realizing that in the world of vampires, alliances and betrayals were as common as the moon in the night sky. "And what if I had been seriously hurt?"

Klaus's expression turned serious, a rare glimpse of sincerity in his eyes. “I compelled that robber to rough you up, not kill you,"

Despite the reassurance, a lingering unease settled in the pit of your stomach. "So, what now? Are we on the brink of war?"

Klaus chuckled, the sound carrying a hint of danger. "War, my dear, is inevitable. It's just a matter of when and how. I'm merely expediting the process. The human faction will never peacefully coexist with us. It's in their nature to fear what they don't understand."

You leaned back, grappling with the weight of the revelation. The idyllic honeymoon, orchestrated by Klaus, was nothing more than a chess move in a larger game of power and dominance. You were a pawn, unwittingly playing your part in a conflict that seemed destined to unfold.

"And what about Elijah?" you asked, your gaze piercing Klaus's calculating façade.

"Elijah will do what he must to protect what he loves," Klaus replied cryptically. "As will I."

“Well, just so you know, what you did wasn't even necessary," you replied, the flames from the fireplace dancing in your eyes. “Elijah and I had already bonded before the attack,"

Klaus let out a soft chuckle and stood up, “Elijah generally has that effect, I was just ensuring it," he teased. “Welcome to the family love," with that, he departed, leaving you equally annoyed and amused.

Elijah returned shortly after, wearing an expression of irritation. He settled down beside you, casually draping his arm over the back of the sofa behind you.

You smiled at him. "Bad meeting?"

He let out a tired sigh. "My brother has decided to be insufferable. But that's nothing new… I heard him come by here afterwards, what did he want from you?"

You turned to him, giving him a teasing smile. "Oh, you know, just trying to find out how the honeymoon was."

Elijah raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Did he mention how he set us up?"

"Yes," you replied with a chuckle, “he definitely gives interesting wedding presents."

Elijah's gaze softened. "I am sorry for my brother's antics."

"Well, I suppose it all worked out, except that we are now on the brink of war," you said with a teasing smile, leaning closer and kissing him.

Elijah brow furrowed and he sighed deeply, not returning the kiss. You gave him a concerned look, cupping his cheek as he avoided your gaze. “Care to go for a walk?" he proposed.

You nodded, a hint of anxiety bubbling within.

The journey led you to a quiet park bench overlooking the water. The night was still, the sky painted in inky black hues, and the only sounds were the distant hum of crickets and the gentle waves hitting the rocks.

"I want to discuss something important with you," Elijah spoke quietly, avoiding direct eye contact.

“The breaking of the alliance will have consequences, and you will be in the crossfire," he explained seriously, his hand finding yours. "This marriage puts a target on your back. I offer you your freedom—you can leave. I'll provide all the money you'll ever need, and you can make a real life for yourself, far away from this world."

In contemplative silence, you looked at Elijah. His expression held profound sadness. Though you hadn't known him for long, you understood the depth of his selflessness, doing what he believed was right, not necessarily what he desired.

"Elijah," you said softly, reaching out to cup his cheek. "You are the first person in my life who actually cares about me, and in return, I care about you. I'm not going anywhere."

"You won't have the life you deserve with me," he asserted, placing his hand on yours. "You can go, find a love you choose, have children, do whatever you want."

With a deep breath, you gazed into Elijah's eyes, unwavering in your determination. "I take my vows as seriously as you do," you asserted, your voice steady. "I choose you, Elijah."

He nodded to himself, his gaze shifting to the tranquil water. In a sudden, graceful move, he moved off the bench and dropped to one knee, looking at you with a serious expression, his eyebrows slightly raised. Elijah removed his daylight ring, extending it towards you.

"What are you doing?" you asked in surprise, chuckling at his gesture. "You are ruining your pants, kneeling in the dirt."

"Will you be my wife?" he asked, a gentle smile gracing his lips.

"Pretty sure I already am," you laughed, reaching out to pull him back to the bench, but he playfully slapped your hand away.

He chuckled softly, his eyes gleaming with affection. "This time, it's your choice,"

A warm smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you realized the sincerity in his eyes. "Yes," you answered, your voice filled with a mixture of joy and affection. "I would be honored."

Elijah's eyes softened, a genuine happiness reflecting in them. He slipped the daylight ring onto your finger and then pulled you into his arms. In the warmth of that park, surrounded by the night's stillness, you kissed him. Then, you uttered those three powerful words for the first time. "I love you, Elijah."

His eyes, already soft with affection, seemed to deepen in emotion. A wide smile spread across his features, and he pulled you even closer, as if wanting to etch this moment into eternity. "And I love you."

Epilogue

The sun streaming through the curtains roused you from sleep, and as you turned, you found your husband still in peaceful slumber. His serene expression intrigued you, wondering about the pleasant dreams that might be occupying his mind. You rested your head on his shoulder, snuggling close and listening to his deep breathing. He let out a soft sigh and a gentle grunt as he woke, kissing the top of your head sleepily. His arms wrapped around you, as he rested his head on yours.

Your fingers traced a path down his chest and torso, igniting a warmth that intensified between your legs. Slipping beneath the blankets, your hand settled over his boxers, sensing his arousal growing beneath your touch.

"Hmm," he mumbled, his finger gently lifting your chin, tilting your head upward, and capturing your lips in a kiss.

A smile played on your lips as you returned the kiss, your hand continuing its slow, teasing strokes through the fabric.

Elijah responded with a low, appreciative hum, his hands exploring the curves of your body as the intensity between you two escalated.

With a subtle movement, he guided you onto your back, breaking the kiss only momentarily. His eyes locked onto yours, a deep intensity reflecting in them.

“What does my lovely wife desire so early in the morning?" He teased, his lips mere inches from your own.

You let out a soft laugh, feeling the warmth of the morning sunlight creating a cocoon around the two of you. "Mmm...I have a few ideas," you whispered, your voice carrying a hint of playful mischief.

He grinned, his eyes brightening as he lowered his head, his lips grazing your neck. Your eyelids fluttered closed, as you sighed in contentment. The sensation of his mouth and hands elicited a series of breathy moans, a warm ache building between your legs.

“Does my wife need me to fuck her into our bed?" he asked in a soft tone, his hands parting your legs.

You bit your lip, your eyes meeting his with an intensity that mirrored the desire growing within you. "Desperately," you admitted, a playful gleam in your eyes.

Elijah's hands traced a tantalizing path up your thighs, and his lips met yours in a hungry kiss. “Already so wet for me," he murmured in your ear, his finger brushing over your clit, causing your hips to twitch. Elijah continued to touch you with slow deliberate circles, each movement bringing you closer to the edge.

Unable to resist any longer, you tugged at his boxers. Elijah positioned himself between your legs, the anticipation in his eyes mirroring your own. Eagerly, you reached down, freeing him and rubbing the head of his cock against your wet core.

“Tell me what you want," he whispered, his voice a sultry invitation.

A breathy moan escaped your lips as you met his intense gaze. "I want you," you admitted, desire lacing every word.

Elijah's eyes darkened with a mixture of passion and possessiveness. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly entered you, and a simultaneous gasp of pleasure escaped both of you.

He set a pace of slow, deep strokes, the soft, wet sounds of your bodies colliding filling the room. His eyes were locked onto yours with such intensity that it made your heart skip. The love you shared being conveyed through the physical.

You both moved to a familiar rhythm, his fingers intertwined with yours, pressing them next to your head. The pleasure mounted with every movement, and the warmth from the sun beaming through the curtains covered you in a comforting embrace. He captured your lips again in a soft kiss, his tongue sweeping against yours, as he continued to fuck you at an agonizing pace. The combination of his kisses and the slow, steady thrusts were driving you wild.

“Elijah," you moaned as your climax began to build, the intensity of it threatening to overwhelm you.

Elijah lifted his head, a smug, satisfied grin spreading across his face. "You are so beautiful when you moan my name like that," he commented.

Elijah kissed you again, and then his lips grazed your neck, his teeth nipping and sucking gently on the sensitive skin. Your breaths came in short gasps as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

You let out a low moan, as his cock began to hit your sweet spot with every stroke, a wave of pleasure running through your body. He continued his movements, his hand finding its way between your bodies, and his thumb stroking your clit.

"Come for me, darling," he murmured, you could feel his warm breath against your neck.

Your head fell back and your eyes closed, as you focused on the feeling of his cock moving in and out of you. A tingling sensation ran through you, and the familiar warmth spread across your body, as you climaxed.

Elijah groaned as you clenched around him and he leaned back, tossing the blankets off of you and splaying his hands across your thighs and pushing them wider. He increased his pace, rolling his hips into you to maintain his deep strokes.

“I can't believe you are all mine," he said in amazement.

Your body trembled with the aftershocks, and you could already feel another orgasm building within you. Elijah continued to rock his hips, and you whimpered with pleasure. He pulled almost completely out, and then thrust back into you, hitting your sweet spot, and making you cry out.

The sensations were overwhelming and you were desperate to hold onto this moment for as long as possible.

“Elijah, please," you begged, not even knowing what for.

He leaned forward as his fingers tugged on your hair, tilting your head back and exposing your throat. His lips grazed your skin, then he began sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He moved to your mouth, capturing it in a rough, possessive kiss, his tongue tangling with yours.

The sensation sent shivers through your body, and you were so close to the edge that you felt your toes curling.

"I want you to come for me again," he whispered, his words sending a thrill of pleasure through your body.

"Oh, Elijah," you moaned.

“No pretty wife, that's not what I want you to call me," he said teasingly, slowing his pace down and grazing his fingers over your clit once more.

"Husband ," you moaned, feeling a rush of heat through your body as the word slipped from your lips.

"Good wife," he praised.

He continued to move his hips in a torturously slow rhythm, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease. His thumb pressed harder on your clit, rubbing circles, and you writhed, moaning as he brought you closer to your second orgasm.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him against you, needing him, craving him, wanting him more than anything in this moment. Your breaths were ragged as you kissed him, your body trembling as your eyes widened and your back arched as a second orgasm washed over you. You tightened around him and you felt his hips buckle, his thrusts becoming erratic.

He let out a deep moan, burying his face in your neck. Your hands ran through his hair and you pulled his head up, pressing your lips against his. You moaned into his mouth, and you felt his hips buck as he emptied himself into you, the sensation causing your hips to rise and meet his, the waves of pleasure consuming you both.

He collapsed beside you, breathing heavily, and pulling you close, as you both bathed in the warmth of the morning sun.

You rested your head on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comfort.

You felt Elijah's lips brush against your forehead and his fingers tilt your chin upward. His eyes were soft, a tenderness reflecting in their depths.

"I love you, my dear wife," he murmured.

You smiled, your lips meeting his. "And I love you, my dear husband."

Thanks for reading Part 3!

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Likes are wonderful, but reblogs and comments make my day! ❤

{Part One} {Part Two}

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fallingdownhell · 2 years ago

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https://at.tumblr.com/fallingdownhell/sumeru-men-when-your-sisterbest-friend-tries-to/nwf4h3unm1ah

Could I request this ⬆️ but with Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli? Also, reader actually steps up and nearly goes apeshit with the "friend".

No angst, please!

Alright, alright, I heard you loud and clear. I'm trying my best for readers part, but I can't promise anything.

Also, this escalated quite a bit... hope none of you mind the length of this thing. I just don't know how to keep things short and simple

Characters included: Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli

Content: Gender neutral reader; she/her pronouns for your best friend; she tries to convince them to dump reader; some cursing; slightly suggestive on Ayato's part; not proof read yet!

Word count: 7.9k words

As always, thank you for requesting and hope you enjoy!

Ayato

I feel like Ayato is a man who would get into a relationship for one of two reasons

Number one would be it being a political type of thing, where the relationship and potential marriage would greatly benefit the Yashiro commission

Or he would not even consider the commission and just date you purely because he fell instantly in love with you and really just wants to court you

but regardless of what the reason might be, he would be loyal to you under any circumstances

he knows that there are many people out there who want to be on his good side, some of them even after his wealth and status

and yet, he would fight off anyone who would dare court him while being in a relationship with you

in that aspect, he learned a great deal from Thoma, so you better be grateful to him

It was a typical slow, mentally draining day for Ayato as the Yashiro commissioner yet again. Many people come to him with their problems, expecting him to magically have the solutions for them at the ready. It's not like he is some kind of know-it-all magician, capable of solving every little issue in this world. Yet people obviously believe him to be exactly that.

Honestly, it's exhausting most of the time. It was quite common for him to work late into the night, like it happened today again. When he finally leaned back a bit to stretch his sore back, he heard a soft knock on his office door. Knowing who would await him at the other side, he mumbled a soft "come in".

You slid the door open, revealing the form of your boyfriend to you. Instantly noticing his tired expression, you went to his side, gently holding his face in your hands.

"You have been working too much", you say after a long while of each of you staring into the others eyes.

You hear a low chuckle from him as he closes his eyes, and leans more into your touch. Having yearned for it the entire day and now finally being able to enjoy it again was one of the best feelings in the world to Ayato.

"You're right, my dear. As you are so often. How about we retreat for today?"

You were inclined to accept his offer, but just as you were about to do so, you remembered one other crucial detail.

"We can, after you eat something. You haven't done that today, have you?"

And as if to betray him, his stomach made a low rumbling sound just as Ayato was about to tell you a little white lie, that it wasn't so bad. Instead, he looked away from you as you giggled at the perfect timing.

"See? Now, you clean up here while I go and get you some light snack. Let's meet in our room, okay?"

He agrees and you gave him a quick kiss to the tip of his nose as a parting gift, before you made your way out of the room, silently, as to not disturb the other servants and residents from their slumber.

Ayato looks after you and as you're out the door, begins to make quick work of his tasks. It's not much to do anyways. Just pack away his writing utensils, stack and organize a few stray documents that he will worry about the next day.

While in the middle of doing this, he heard a soft knock on the door again. Ayato wonderd to himself why you would need to knock when you agreed to meet back at your room. And also, you two should be the only ones awake at this hour anyways.

Still, he answeres the knock with a simple "Yes?". Instead of an answer, the door to his office slid open again, but this time revealing a different figure to him.

He recognized her, a servant of the Yashiro Commission and also a dear friend to you. Though, he did wonder why she was awake at this hour as well.

"Do you need something?", he asked her as she just stood there, not saying a word.

"I... saw that the light was still on and just wanted to check on you, Lord Kamisato. It's getting quite late. Are you alright?"

"I see. I appreciate your concern, but I am quite alright. I'll be retiring for the night shortly."

After he said that, her eyes seemed to light up, but she quickly tried to hide it.

"O-oh, is that so?", she quielty mumbled as she took a few steps into the room, towards Ayato. He eyed her suspiciously, but refrained from saying or doing anything. She stopped in her tracks when she was standing only a few inches away from him.

"Do you want me to keep you company for the night?", she whispered, trying to sound seductive while she put one of her hands on Ayato's chest and looked up at him through her lashes.

In response to that, Ayato quickly snatched her wrist, holding her in a tight grip. Although, she seemed to interpret that gesture the wrong way, as a smile krept up her lips.

"Oh? That eager, Lord Kamisato?"

"You do know that I have a spouse, right?", he said firmly, still holding her wrist tightly.

"Oh please. As if someone as boring as (name) could ever please a man like you. You can admit it, you know. I can see that they are not enough for you. You can have so much more fun with me.", she purred at him, now putting her other hand on his chest.

It made Ayato want to throw up. Every fiber of his body was repulsed by this woman, her words and her actions. He just wanted to deal with this situation as quickly as possible, to get away from her and return to the comfort of your arms. He didn't care if he came across as rude, he did not care for her feelings. After all, she did just insult you in front of him, and he would not stand for that.

So, Ayato finally let go of her hand and took a step back to gain some distance between them. However, that didn't seem to appease her, as she was quick to follow him, that wicked smile still present on her lips. In that case, he had to resort to words as his weapon of choice against this woman.

"Stop this nonsense right now. I have no idea where you got the impression that I am the slightest bit interested in you, but that assumption is just wrong. Plus, I am not the type of man to just go behind my partners back like that."

"Aww, come on. Don't be such a killjoy. Plus, they don't have to know. I won't say anything if you don't~"

"Well, I already know. How about that?", you suddenly chime in, both Ayato and the woman jumping a bit at the sudden sound of your voice behind them. You were leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of you and a dark expression on your face, directed at the person you thought to be a friend of yours.

"I was wondering what took you so long, dear. If I had known you were trying to fend off some filthy pest, I would have come to your rescue sooner.", you continued as neither of them said anything at your entrance. Your words and expression briefly becoming warmer as they were directed towards your lover, but quickly turning dark again when you turned back to the woman in front of you.

You waited a few more seconds, waiting for her to come up with some kind of excuse or something, but nothing came. So, you sighed, pushing yourself off the doorframe and slowly approaching the two of them.

"Glad that I finally got to see your true character. I always thought something was off about you, but still, I never would have taken you for one of those people." Your tone was low and dark, as you came to a halt in front of her.

"Now, you better screw off before I loose the last bit of my temper. And you better never approach any of us again, you hear me, bitch?"

You spat the last few words at her and she quickly ran out of the room, leaving you and Ayato behind. You looked after her for a few more seconds, before a deep sigh finally left your lungs and you turned around to your boyfriend, who was looking at you with a smirk on his lips.

"What?"

"Oh nothing... But, I have to admit, you're cute when you're jealous, (name)."

"Pffft, please. Me? Jealous? Of her? When I'm the one already dating you and having you all to myself?", you laughed, slowly beginning to relax again.

And Ayato still smirked as he began to lean down towards you. "True, I do belong to you. But maybe, it's time you lay claim on me again for everyone else to see as well.", he mumbled before he pulled you into a passionate kiss, a promise for the night in front of you..

Kaeya

Kaeya is a flirt, you and everyone else is very much aware of that fact

though when in a relationship, he would tone down that side of his personality. It's not completely gone, but compared to before it's like you're looking at an entirely different person

but you don't dislike this teasing and flirty side of him. It's part of his charm after all. So long as it's always directed at you and no one else..

Most people would believe Kaeya is more the type to play around than to actually bind himself to another. They also don't believe him to be a loyal person

Well, those people couldn't be farther from the truth. Because of his past, Kaeya is afraid of letting people close to him again. So if you were to manage to do just that and gain his trust.. you best believe that he will never let you go again, no matter what might be thrown his way

The music that was playing in the background of the tavern was as loud as usual. Kaeya was used to it at this point, the comfort of the Angel's Share being as trusted of a companion as the sword by his side.

It was a routine by now that he would swing by the tavern after his duties as a knight had been dealt with for the day. Usually, he would sit at the counter with either Venti or Rosaria to keep him company, sometimes even both at the same time. Those instances were always sure to escalate, so he was kinda glad it didn't happen too often.

Today however, neither of his usual companions were available, so he was doomed to sit at the counter all by himself. But that was quite alright, since he didn't plan on drinking that much anyways. After all, he was merely here to pass time waiting on you to finish your work, so he could take you on the date he promised to take you on today after you both were free.

But since he was done much sooner than you were, he had some time to kill, and the tavern was the first thing that came to his mind. So, he went to your place of work, to let you know that he would meet you there once you were done.

As Kaeya downed his second drink of the evening, he pointed for Charles, the barkeeper, to get him another one, while listening to the music some bard was playing. He was standing next to the entrance and Kaeya had to admit, that his music was rather good. It was a cheery, easygoing melody that went well with the laughter all across the tavern.

It seemed to be one of the bussier nights for the staff of the Angel's Share, seeing as the tavern was packed full of people, some of them already quite intoxicated even though it was still a fairly early evening.

Still, the loud atmosphere was relaxing to Kaeya and he only stopped looking around himself when his next drink was handed to him. Thanking Charles with a nod, Kaeya grabbed the mug and downed a few more sips, when he suddenly got a well-known feeling..

The feeling of being watched.

He tried scanning around the interior of the tavern again without looking conspicuous, but couldn't detect anyone who seemed to be watchful of him.

When the feeling subsided again, Kaeya also began to relax again. He hadn't realized how on edge he became just from that, so he let out a deep exhale. It did make him feel a bit better, but only for a few seconds, before he felt a presence now occupying the free stool next to him.

He turned his head towards that person, cautious of he he might find, when he recognized the figure to be your best friend.

Now, normally, any other person would relax upon seeing a familiar face, but not Kaeya. Not in this situation.

He always had a suspicion, that she was into him. She never made any advances towards him, but that could have been because you were always there with him. Kaeya had never been alone with her until now. And with the way she was eyeing him up and down while smirking at him, he was inclined to think that his suspicion was, indeed, correct.

"Well, would you look at that. What's the cavalry captain of the knights doing here, in this tavern, all by himself?", she began to speak. It was easy for Kaeya to detect the slight slur in her voice, indicating that she already had quite a few drinks already.

Still, he decided to play nice with her and entertain the both of them for the time being. Maybe some company wouldn't be so bad and he did still harber some hope that his assumption could be wrong after all.

"Enjoying a drink, obviously. What else would one be doing at a tavern?", he answered, the usual polite smile returning to his face. To everyone else, it might come across as sincere, but you now know that there was a difference. For a real, sincere smile coming from Kaeya was quite a rarity. But, the woman across him didn't know that, so she happily induldged in the conversation.

"Obviously, I know that. But, why all alone? I never see you without a certain someone accompanying you." Her words carried a distinct amount of poison in them when mentioning you. It didn't sit right with Kaeya at all.

"Oh, I'm actually waiting on them to finish their work. I promised them a date so that't where I'm taking them."

At the mention, her smile dropped and the look on her face changed to an annoyed one. "Seriously? God, Kaeya! When are you finally gonna dump her?!", she snapped at him, standing up from her stool so she could stand in front of him, mere inches away from him.

"Excuse me?", was all Kaeya was able to say, trying to lean back as much as possible to create space between them, but she didn't care for that. Instead, she got even closer, dangerously so, and Kaeya was beyond uncomfortable with the situation.

"You heard me. I wanted you since I first laid my eyes on you, but you never acknowledged me. And as soon as (name) comes along, you're all over them and completely ignore me!

I hate them so much! When are you finally gonna realize that I would be so much better for you? Just dump their lazy ass, they're never gonna be something big anyway. Come to my side, Kaeya!" As she said all that, she simultaneously began to claw on his clothes. Kaeya tried to push her away, but it seems that people were right when they said that drunk people seem to gain some kind of unexplainable strength.

"Are you out of your mind? NO! Now get off of me!", he yelled instead, still trying to get himself free. But she ignored it, instead reaching behind his neck and pushing his head down, trying to force a kiss onto him.

"AHH!", she yelled not even a second later, both in surprise and pain as her head got pulled back by her hair suddenly. She managed to pull herself free and both her and Kaeya were surprised to see you standing there, now putting yourself between the woman and your boyfriend. A furious look on your face, you seemed like you were about to loose your temper.

"He already said no, you bitch. You're really going so far as to assault someone because you don't get it your way? That's a new low, even for you." Your voice was ice cold and Kaeya shivered a bit from it, but he also had to admit that he did like this protective side of you. It was something he didn't get to see very often.

"I was just trying to safe him from your pityful grasp. He deserves someone better!"

"You mean, someone better like you? Come on, don't make me laugh. Who in their right mind would want a dirty street rat like you?", you lauged at her as she looked at you with shock. "Now fuck off before I completely loose myself."

That last sentence from you came out completely serious and cold, both her and Kaeya knew that you would not hesitate another second to fight her off if you had to. With one last, longing look at the man behind you, she grabbed her stuff and ran out the tavern door, leaving the two of you behind.

You let out a loud sigh as she was finally gone, turning around to Kaeya. "Are you okay?", you asked him, worry now written all over your face.

He smirked a bit, slipping out of his stool so he now stood in front of you, leaning down so he could put a hand to your cheek. "I am.", he whispered, leaning down to plant a soft kiss to your forehead. "Thanks for fending her off. That was really sexy."

You rolled your eyes at that, but didn't say anything against it. Instead, you pulled Kaeya in for a soft, sweet kiss. Both of you smiled before you finally made your way out of the tavern and to where Kaeya promised to take you.

Diluc

Oh boy.. I really love Diluc, but let's be honest here.. he has a lot of issues, that would directly pass over to the relationship, if he ever were to enter one

abandonment issues, trust issues, self worth.. Diluc has a lot of struggles

he makes sure to let you know beforehand, so you can back out of it if it's too much for you to handle. He won't go into any details, but he gets his point across

Now, if you decide to stay with him and help him work through all this, he would be head over heels in love with you. For someone to know everything about him, including his bad sides, and still deciding to stay with him?

He honestly never thought this would happen to him. Which is why he's all the more glad that you stayed and proved him wrong

It was the late afternoon and Diluc was still in the process of getting himself ready and presentable.

Today was the day of your one year anniversary and he had promised to take you on a cute little stargazing picnic. He had been looking forward to this day the entire week, trying to finish as much of his work as early as possible, so that nothing would come in the way today.

He checked his outfit over one more time in the mirror, looking for any holes or other form of dirt, but couldn't find anything. Then, he moved on to his hair, trying to tie it into a high ponytail. He knew that you loved it when he wore his hair like that, and he didn't mind it either way, so why not.

After all, Diluc wanted to spoil you today. Although technically this day is for the both of you, he just couldn't help but want to make it all about you. Because, after all, you were the one who chose to stay with him. To love him and show him that it was okay for him to love you as well.

It took some time, and he is still nowhere near a perfect partner for you, but he is trying. And you always tell him that him trying is more than enough for you and that you couldn't and would never ask anything more than that from him.

Diluc was so glad that you stumbled your way into his life. It may sound cliché, but he truly has no idea where he would be in life if you weren't there by his side to help guide him in the right direction.

Dare he even say, it was also thanks to you and your effort, that he is now slowly starting to reconcile with Kaeya. Their relationship was still rocky after years and years of miscommunication and suppressed feelings, but it was slowly starting to pick up and move into a... better direction, for lack of a better word.

He had so much to thank you for, and he swore to pay you back for it every day of his life that he got to spend with you. You would forever be the best thing to happen in his life, and he didn't care how down bad that sounded.

As he was finally done with preparations, and giving himself one last glance through the mirror, a soft knock on the door brought him out of his head and back into reality. Confusion written over his face even more, as Adelinde opened the door and walked a few steps into the room.

"My apologies, Master Diluc, but it would seem that you have a visitor. I informed her of the bad timing and to come back another time, but she insisted. I directed her towards your study room, she is waiting for you in there.", she informed him, her head lightly bowed down.

"Thank you, Adelinde. I will deal with them shortly.", Diluc answered, though obviously annoyed at the situation.

Why today? And why now?

All he wanted was for you and him to spend a nice evening together. And now someone wasn't even going to allow him that? Not if he had a say in it. He would just go in there and deal with the visitor swiftly, then make his way to Mondstadt, where he promised to pick you up.

Once he made sure that he was presentable so he wouldn't have to return to his room again, he went out and closed the door behind him. He walked quickly, having a goal already in his mind, so he wanted this situation to be over as soon as possible.

He gave to quick knocks to the door of his study room, to inform the person inside of his arrival, before opening the door and stepping inside.

Upon his entry, a woman who until now had been sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs stood up, facing his way. It took Diluc a moment, but he soon recognized the figure as a close friend of yours. He saw her from time to time, but he never had much to do with her, they never had an extended talk or conversation, so Diluc had no idea why she was here now and what she could want from him.

"You came..", she said, like she couldn't actually believe it.

"It would be quite rude of me to just leave a guest and not greet them, wouldn't it? So, please, state your business with me. And, not to sound rude, but please make it quick. I have somewhere important to be in a bit."

"That's why I'm here..", she mumbled quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!", she exclaimed, a little startled. Trying to mask her nervousness with a chuckle, she began to play with her hair while looking everywhere else but at the man standing in front of her.

A good minute passed without her saying anything else and Diluc was growing more and more annoyed with her. Was she just here to waste his time?

"Look, if you have nothing to discuss with me, then-!"

"No! I- I mean, I do have something to discuss. I just.. don't know where to start..", she got quiet near the end again, making it hard for Diluc to understand her, but he did.

"If this will require more time, I have to ask you to move it to another day. I really don't have the time right now.", Diluc simply replied, already kind of mad at her that he wasted more time here than he had to. He turned around and was about to leave, when the woman behind him spoke up again.

"I like you!", she yelled, which caused Diluc to halt in his steps and turn to look at her, a bewildered look on his face.

"What did you say?"

"I like you, Diluc. I have for a long time. But I never had the courage to tell you and then (name) got in the picture. Honestly, I hated them the moment you and them got together.

They took you from me! It should be me by your side, not them! I deserve you so much more than some pesky lowlife like them!", she still yelled, but was now slowly moving towards Diluc.

The man, still surprised by what was happening right now, didn't move away, and she apparently took that as a sign to continue on her little rant.

"I know you think that you love them, but trust me, you don't. You may feel like that now, but I am the one meant for you. I can make you so much happier than you could ever think. Just give me a chance, Diluc.", she pleaded as she arrived in front of him.

She extended an arm, about to lay her hand on his shoulder, when he suddenly caught her wrist mid air. His grip was tight, and the look he threw at her full of disgust. She flinched a bit as she saw that, but still tried to stand her ground.

"Listen closely", Diluc said, his tone hard and cold, as he looked into her eyes, unforgiving. "(Name) will forever be the only one for me. No one else could ever hope to come close to what they mean to me. Especially not you. The fact that you came here, to berate and talk bad about someone who thinks of you as their friend, trying to steal their lover away. And for what? Some silly illusion you created in your head?

My top priority will always be (name). No one will ever come inbetween me and them, no matter what you might say or come up with."

He quickly let go of her wrist now, like her skin was suddenly made out of some kind of acid and it burned him on the touch. The look of disgust still evident on Diluc's face, as he took a step back towards the door.

"Now, please excuse me but I have a date to go on with my lovely parnter. And just to be perfectly clear, I would advise you to stay away from them and me from now on. And if I were to catch wind of you putting out rumors about them, I will not hesitate to act against you."

With that being his parting words, Diluc left the study room and made his way down to the main hall, where Adelinde was waiting down by the stairs.

"Please escort our guest out of the mansion as soon as possible. And make sure to let the other staff know that she is not welcome back here anymore.", Diluc informed Adelinde, who bowed her head in understanding.

"As you wish, Master Diluc. I wish you a pleasant night.", she said, before making her way up the stairs.

After that, Diluc left the mansion and made his way back to the city of Mondstadt. He appreciated the walk, as he was able to clear his head a bit before he would see you again, which was just what he needed after that encounter.

Once he arrived and saw you waiting for him by the fountain, all the negative emotions within him washed away again, his heart feeling at peace.

He greeted you with a soft kiss, which you reciprocated. He took you with him to Windrise, where the two of you would have your picnic. On the way there, he told you all about what had happened just about a few hours prior to your reunion.

It was fair to say that you considered the friendship with her to be over and you thanked Diluc over and over again for defending you, while also apologizing to him that he had to deal with that in the first place. But not to worry, because you made it more than up with the cuddles he got from you afterwards.

Childe

Childe is a family person through and through

Like, they have the final say wether his relationship whit you would last or not. Not in the sense of approval, more like if you get along with his parents and siblings

If they like you and you also get along with them well, he would be over the moon

also has a pretty high rank thanks to his position as a fatui harbinger, so people know not to mess with either of you, unless they want to be punished

Childe, I think, is actually one of the most loyal Genshin boys

He would stop at absolutely nothing to ensure your safety and to make you feel loved. The only way he would allow this relationship to end, is if either one of you would be to fall out of love with the other. But, at least for his part, that probably won't ever happen

Since his return to Snezshnaya a few days ago, Childe has been stuck in his office at the fatui headquarters. It was required of him to finalize his reports on his latest missions, which meant for him to sit in his office the entire day, write paper after paper, then return home in the evening, only to resume the process the next day.

It has been tiring for him. He never would have thought that dealing with paperwork could be this tiring. No wonder the higher ranking harbingers all have some kind of sectretary who do that work for them.

In fact, Childe has been so tired out from writing these reports, that he didn't get any proper training in these days. Instead, he always returned right back home to your side, almost always falling on top of you on the couch. If it weren't for you keeping him somewhat coherent, he would instantly pass out on the couch, not to be woken up until the next morning. You gently kept him awake long enough for him to take a shower and eat dinner with you, before you both went to bed together, where Childe hugged you even closer to him.

It has become some kind of new routine at this point and although you didn't mind it all that much, you clearly saw how exhausted your boyfriend was from all this. Even more so since he wasn't able to pursue his usual stress relief with the training.

You could clearly see how tired he still was, sitting next to you eating his breakfast, his eyes looking almost blank and lifeless. It made your heart ache at the sight.

"So.. do you know how much longer it'll take until you've finished all the reports?", you cautiously asked, not wanting to stress him out even more in the early morning hours.

"At least a few more days..", Childe quietly answered, the weariness clearly evident.

You thought about what you could do to make him feel a little better, at least, when an idea sparked in your head.

"Well, I can't really help you with your work, but, if you want to, I could bring you lunch today. Your mom taught me how to make your favourite."

At that, his eyes visibly brightened up as he looked at you. "Really? When did that happen?"

"While you were out on your mission in Liyue. I had some time on my hand and I thought it would be a nice surprise but I didn't get around to making it yet.", you answered, glad that such a simple thing was able to cheer your boyfriend right back up.

He got up and engulfed you in a big hug, placing little kisses all over your face. "Thank you, (name). I love you so much."

You giggled as you guys spend the rest of your morning together before it was time for Childe to leave again.

...

His mood this day was by far better than the days before, and his underlings had no idea wether that was a good thing or if their impending doom was approaching them.

But as more hours went by and nothing drastic had happened yet, they decided that it had to be something good.

Childe was constantly humming in his office, the writing part was getting much easier now that he got a hang of it. The occaissonal troop came into his office every now and then, awaiting for new orders from him.

He dealt with them every time before resuming his reports until one particular group came to him. He knew one of the members better than the others, namely because it just so happened that she was a friend of yours, who joined the ranks of the fatui a few weeks ago.

She got assigned under Childe, but they haven't really been working together yet, as shortly after he was sent out to his mission on Liyue, which took him a few weeks to finally complete. And since then, he had been locked up here.

Anyway, back to the present. The leader of that small group gave a quick report to Childe, informing him of their accomplishments. The harbinger only nodded, listening to them.

"Alright, sounds good. For now, I want you guys to go to the training grounds. Improve on your strenghts and get rid of your weaknesses. This will be your task for the following week. After that time, you will face me in battle again, to assess your progress.

That would be all.", he said to dismiss them. They all hurriedly made their way out of the room, except for one member of the group. The woman stood still in front of Childe, and it took him a moment to realize that she was still standing there.

"Hmm? Was there something else you needed?"

"Well.. I have a bit of a personal question, if you would allow it, Lord Harbinger.", she answered respectfully, bowing her head at him a bit.

Childe thought it over for a second, but didn't think anything bad of her request, so he allowed her to ask her question.

"Thank you. It's about (name)", she said and the mention of your name both set him on edge and also brought a small smile to his face. You just had that effect on him every time, even after months of dating already.

"What is it that you see in them? Why are you with them? I just don't understand it."

"What about it don't you understand?", Childe asked, bewildered as he sensed the obvious hostility she seemed to harbour when talking about you.

"I mean, they're just so boring and bland. I don't get what you see in them. Surely they can't be enough to satisfy you. You could have anyone else, you have so many better options. Why them?"

After her little rant was over, Childe stood up from his place behind his desk, walked around in front of it, and leaned against the table, crossing his arms in front of him.

"And let me guess.. you think you would be better suited for me than them, am I right?"

She nodded as she took a step forward, towards him, but one ice cold glare from Childe let her freeze in place. But she got her composure back quickly, returning his gaze.

"I do.", she stated, holding her chin up high, trying to look more confident than she currently felt.

Childe continued to look at her a few more seconds, before averting his eyes and sighing in disappointment.

"I think I've heard enough. Just so you know, you could never be enough for me. (Name) is more than enough, they are the perfect match for me. And I'm most definitely not about to give up on that for some random chick that decides to throw herself at me.

Anything you want to add, (name)?"

The last sentence was said a bit louder by Childe, knowing that you had been standing outside the door and listening in on the conversation. Upon mentioning you, you entered the room and by the surprised look on the womans face, she didn't realize that you were actually present.

"Not really, I think you already made yourself perfectly clear.", you said, your look at her as cold as Childe's was.

"We're over. Can't believe I ever was friends with someone like you.", was the only thing you felt like adding to the situation, before the woman ran out of the room without another word, feeling utterly humiliated.

You and Childe both looked after her, before looking at each other. Then you guys burst out into laughter at how ridiculous this entire situation was.

After you had calmed down again, you guys shared the food that you made for him in his office, you sitting on his lap since he wouldn't allow you to sit anywhere else. It was safe to say that Childe acted a bit more clingy with you for the next few days.

Zhongli

It has been quite some time since Zhongli's last relationship and even though he has an understanding of the principles, the more intimate details of it are kind of lost on him

have some patience with him and teach him the ropes of it again and you will be rewarded with one of the most loving and caring partners one could ever wish for

he also tends to be a little bit on the jealous side, but he means no harm in it. He knows you're more than capable of standing up for yourself, but he can't help it. He is your partner after all, it's only natural he wants to protect you

Also a very loyal man. If he chooses a partner, he stays with them through all the good and bad times until the bitter end. Whatever form that end will take..

Zhongli let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with his work for the day. Who knew that the work of a consultant could be this demanding?

Hu Tao had him staying late for the past two weeks, since, as she said, work had been piling up and she needed all the help she could get.

While you were understanding of the situation, not minding him coming home later to help out his boss, Zhongli did mind it very much.

Because now, work kept getting in the way of his quality time with you. While he was stuck here, he could be home with you, snuggling up on the couch, or out on a date with you.

Come to think of it, it had been quite some time since you two last went on one. Perhaps he should take you out to Wanwen Bookhouse again, with a nice dinner afterwards at Liuli Pavilion. That sounded like a good idea.

Still thinking about this, and possible other locations where he could take you to, he continued to tidy up his workplace, so that he could finally leave as soon as he was done with that.

Hu Tao had already left earlier today, claiming she would be gone for some type of commission and left him the keys to lock the place up after he was done for the day.

Once he was done cleaning up, he went outside and locked the door, putting the keys into his pocket to keep them safe. He would return them to Hu Tao again once his well deserved weekend would be over. Oh, how he longed to spend those blessed days enveloped in your arms, hoping you would never let go of him again.

Gazing up at the sky, he noticed that it was still quite early. He still did some overtime, but he did get off earlier today than the days prior. So, Zhongli decided on the spot to surprise you with some of your favourite food.

He went over to Wanmin Restaurant, which coincidentaly was also on the way to your shared house, to pick up something to eat for the both of you.

Upon approaching the vendor, Chef Mao immediatly recogniced the man.

"Ah, Mister Zhongli! Good evening! The usual?", he asked in a cheery tone, to which Zhongli agreed to.

While waiting for his food to be done, he took place on one of the stools outside the building, looking around the streets. It wasn't quite as busy as it was during the day, but there were still fairly many people out and about, doing their business.

"Hey! Zhongli!", a voice greeted behind him, so the man turned around to see a dear friend of yours approaching him and taking place next to him on an empty stool.

Zhongli gave her a gentle smile, not minding her presence at all. Maybe some company would be good for the time he had to keep waiting for the food to be done.

"Good evening. What brings you here on this fine day?", he asks her, trying to engage in some small talk with her.

"Oh, nothing much. I was just out for a walk when I saw you sitting here all alone.", she smiled, leaning a bit closer to him. Zhongli noticed this, but didn't think anything of it, which is also why he didn't say anything about it.

"Ah, yes. I am merely waiting for it to be done cooking, so that I can surprise (name) with it at home. I have been working late for the past two weeks so I hope she will accept this small piece of apology."

Upon mentioning your name, he noticed how her expression turned a bit sour, but it was gone so quickly the next second that he thought he just imagined it.

"Is that so..", she mused, seeming to be lost deep in thought.

After that, the conversation died out and a sort of uncomfortable silence fell between Zhongli and your friend. Not knowing what to best do in this kind of situation, he just remained silent, still patiently waiting.

A few more minutes passed and finally, Chef Mao came to Zhongli again, this time with two containers of food in his hands.

"Here you go. Sorry it took so long, busy day today."

"Not a problem.", Zhongli reassured him as he handed the man his money. He was about to say his goodbyes to your friend, when she suddenly grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait!", she said, suddenly having a form of urgency to her voice that made him halt.

"Yes? What is it?"

"I... I want you to break up with (name)!", she exclaimed, shocking Zhongli with her words. Why would he say such a thing.

The confusion obviously written all over his face, the woman sighed as she got even closer to him.

"I am in love with you, Zhongli. And I want to be with you. I don't care if I start out as just a side chick for you, so long as you break up with them and choose me in the long run.

Trust me, you'll see for yourself just how inferior (name) is to me in every aspect of life. Bet they aren't even any good in bed. I know you're not satisfied with them, so why not enjoy yourself with a little fun on the side?"

Zhongli couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew how much you trusted her, so for her to betray that trust you put in her so easily, it made his heart ache for you. But it also made him furious. How dare she talk about you like that in front of him? You were everything to him, and you were definitely more than enough.

Anger slowly krept its way up inside him, being more and more evident in the way his gaze turned cold and his hands tightly gripped the containers he was holding.

But before he could let his anger out on that woman, he heard an all too familiar voice call his name. "Zhongli!"

There you were standind, a few feet away from them and slowly walking over to your boyfriend.

"Hey (name)!", the woman cheerfully said, putting on a seemingly perfect act in front of you, being all nice and friendly again, like she wasn't just trying to steal Zhongli away from you.

"What a surprise to see you here. We were just talking about-!"

"About how you want to be the side piece of my boyfriend? Yeah, I heard that.", you said in a very matter-of-fact way, it caught her completely off guard.

"Huh?", was all she was able to get out, a look of bewilderment present on her face. You, however, have heard enough and you were done with her.

So, you only rolled your eyes at her, before lowering your voice, trying to sound as intimidating as you could. "Listen here, you bitch. He is taken. You had all the time and chances before I met him, and now, he is mine.

So back the fuck off before I go off on your fake ass face."

Panic now written all over her face, she took a few steps back. "You wouldn't.. You're crazy!"

"Oh, but I would.", you growled, taking a step forward, which finally caused her to turn around and run away from the two of you.

Relieved, you let out a sigh and turned around to your boyfriend, who had witnessed the entire scene.

"Sorry you had to deal with that.", you apologized sheepishly, gaze now turned to the ground.

"Don't apologize, my dear. After all, I should be the one apologizing to you, since you just lost a friend because of me. But, I do want to say, I hope you know that I would never choose someone else over you."

"I know that.", you nodded as you looked up at him, offering him a warm and loving smile. Ahh, how he had missed that smile the entire day. He just had to lean down and give you a soft kiss, which you very gladly reciprocated.

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kikixreverie · 2 years ago

Text

Need to know

Best friend!Bucky x Fem!reader

Summary - When your best friend starts acting strange and you're left confused about his feelings, Natasha manages to convince you to try to make him jealous, what could go wrong?

Word count - 5k

Warnings - kind of smut, Dry-humping, slight dirty talk, a lot of kissing, fluff, jealousy

A/n - This was a request from an anon but Tumblr ate the ask... and I don't have it written down, but it was something along the lines of 'Best friend!bucky x reader where she asks him advice about a guy to make him jealous'. I wrote this months ago and it definitely wasn't supposed to be this long but here we are. I have edited it about 50 times now and still feel kinda anxious about it since I haven't posted in a while so I really hope you enjoy!

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You had always been close with Bucky. Always. Having met in your teenage years and grown up together, you were thick as thieves, he'd been your best friend for now the majority of your life. Someone you'd always go to over anyone else when problems would arise at home or school, and he did the same with you.

He had found you hiding out in the library on your second day at your new school, picking at your food with distaste as you sat alone. You were surprised at the fact that the boy had even talked to you in the first place, offering a small wave of his hand and a kind smile when you first saw him, but when he asked politely if he could sit with you and didn't hesitate to pull his lunch from his backpack and complain as dramatically as possible that there was just 'far too much food in his bag and no way he could eat it all', you remember smiling the most you had in weeks, rolling your eyes as you took the fruit he had offered you wordlessly.

You'd been best friends ever since, and there was always this unspoken understanding between you, one that you never had with Steve, as much as you loved him, or Natasha, as close as you are. It was always different with Bucky, always a different atmosphere between the two of you.

That was also unspoken. You'd mentioned it once to Natasha, explained to her that somehow, just being in the same room as him managed to calm that ever-looming anxiety you tended to feel, and when you'd meet his eyes across the distance, you always knew exactly what he was trying to tell you without any words needing to be spoken, that for weeks after your childhood pet passed away when you were 15, Bucky held your hand every single day because your anxiety had spiked and he had noticed the constant shake to them. That became a hard habit to lose.

Her response was 'the look', almost deadpan, wordlessly saying to you 'I know you're not a fucking idiot, c'mon now'.

You had blushed and changed the subject.

Of course there were times you might've looked at him a bit differently, you met at a fairly young age, and it was after meeting him that your interest in boys grew.

Watching the scrawny boy you'd known since you were 13 get his braces off and grow a sudden foot taller was a lot for your growing heart to handle, and then that Brooklyn-boy charm came in and girls were falling at his feet, not one of them knowing or caring about who he was, just hypnotised by those light blue eyes. You always hoped he was too distracted by those girls to notice how desperately hard you tried not to fall under his spell too.

So yeah sure, there may have been a time during your mid-to-late teens and possibly your early twenties that you might have liked him in a' more than a friend' way.

But that didn't mean anything had to come of it.

However, there's a certain red-headed Russian woman in your life that, for some reason, refuses to let you hide in your dark pit of misery and denial.

You shouldn't have even mentioned it. the one time you willingly brought up the topic of James Barnes with the all-knowing Natasha and she had immediately fed your delusions.

"I'm not saying he was jealous at all, Nat, I'm just saying... he looked kind of upset."

"What kind of upset? Did he look sad? Angry? Were his eyebrows all furrowed? ooh, did his fists clench? I bet his fists clenched. The jaw definitely clenched. He's a jaw clencher for sure-"

"Nat, Stop! He just..." You groaned, throwing your head back dramatically as you leaned against her kitchen counter, "He just seemed off."

"Okay, but did his jaw-"

"Yes! Now can we stop talking about it."

She stopped what she was doing to stare at you, her eyebrows raised, "You do realise you're the one that brought it up right?"

You sighed and pressed your palm to your forehead, before dragging it down your face, and Natasha tutted, wrapping her arms around you in a tight squeeze.

"You're stressing yourself out too much about all this, babe. Why don't you just ask him how he feels."

You pulled back from the comforting embrace quickly, but still stayed in her arms, "Fuck that. No. No way. Then he'd know, he'd know why I asked, or he'd at least ask me why I asked and then I'd either have to run away or lie to him and I've never been able to-"

"Okay, breathe angel. Stop this, you can't do this forever, honey. I know you're scared of losing him but this is what could break your friendship if you let it, half the time you're avoiding him because you are so scared of him knowing how you feel." Said Natasha, before she pulled away to continue with her cooking.

"What do you mean how I feel?" You asked, feeling your cheeks grow hot when she sighed and shook her head, not even looking your way.

"Nope, no, not even gonna get started on that one. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

You opened your mouth to argue but she only gave you another look, and your mouth snapped closed.

It was silent for a moment and you leant your elbows on the counter, holding your face in your hands as you watched her expertly sprinkle different spices into her food, but you knew not to get too comfortable in her silence, Natasha was scheming, and that was definitely something to be frightened of.

You practically jumped out of your skin when she finally broke the silence, "I have an idea, but I need you to have an open mind and actually listen for once, okay?"

You hesitated, struggling to hold the intense eye-contact she was currently giving you. A part of you was ready to say no, tell her to leave it be and let you wither in a pit of sadness, but the rest of you leaned in to her words, wanting, no, needing something to happen, anything after years of this constant stalemate, this strange game of cat and mouse between yourself and your best friend. You were constantly holding your breath around Bucky, waiting for something inevitable to happen. What that would be? You had no idea, but you couldn't do it anymore.

"...go on." You finally said, having made up your mind without realising. Natasha almost seemed surprised, but you weren't sure that was even possible. She nodded and gave you a smile.

"You wanna know if he was jealous? Give him a reason to be and then figure out if he is, that way, you'll have more of an idea of how he's feeling, and when it comes to talking to him about your feelings, you might actually do it this time. Plus, you might get some info on how to get him even more interested."

You thought over her words, still confused as to what her grand plan was, "And how might I do that exactly?"

"Say you've got a date, ask him for advice, play with him a little bit. Works every time, trust me."

She said it like it was no big deal, and you were stuck on the way her smirk widened when she said 'play with him a little bit'.

"I just told you I can't lie to him." You replied.

Natasha simply raised her eyebrow at you, "As if you haven't been lying to him since you were 15."

"Hey, that's not lying, it's just... concealing certain parts of the truth."

She tilted her head in your direction but you ignored her, turning away completely and crossing your arms over your chest with a huff.

"Don't lie then, tell him that your interested in some guy and play it off like your asking for advice. He doesn't have to know that he is said guy and its all a secret ploy to make his jaw clench again."

"Nat." You groaned.

"What?"

"Why would I ask him for advice though? He knows I'd go to you."

Nat sighed this time, frustrated with your excuses, "Tell him you wanted advice from a guy."

"But Steve-"

"Just do it! If he's actually jealous he'll be more focused on the fact that your trying to get into pants that aren't his." She raised her voice, dropping her wooden spoon into the simmering pot to turn to you, that Russian accent peaking through her words.

"Nat, I'm telling you now, he isn't jealous."

She almost started to argue, but then she spotted that dejected look in your eye and stopped herself, taking a deep breath to calm her frustrations and think of a good response, "Are you saying that because you believe it? Or because you want him to be jealous so bad you wish he wasn't, because you're terrified of losing him."

You went silent, staring down at the floor when you realised you had no response for her.

"Thought so." She said before shuffling closer, pulling you in for a hug, "Look babe, you need to stop worrying about what could happen, and just focus on what is happening right now. If you're not ready to tell him how you feel, you don't have to. Trying this won't hurt, and it won't hurt your friendship, okay? Go one step at a time, you're getting too ahead of yourself."

You thought about it for a while as you enjoyed the hug, before you pulled back and nodded, thanking her for the advice and apologising for being difficult, she only chuckled and began to dish up the food.

"No worries honey, I'm used to it."

It's not like you had ever said you'd actually do it, and you never exactly planned to. But Natasha's plan had started to loom over every interaction you had with Bucky, so much so that without realising you had started to avoid him, and that only made you feel worse.

It took a sleepless night of tossing and turning and missing your best friend like crazy when you finally made the decision. You can't do this forever, why not just say fuck it for once.

It started when Bucky had invited you to his place for a movie night, like he did every weekend, like he had the past two weekends where you had declined, but this time you said yes, and decided that this would be the night you tried to make him jealous.

You weren't proud of it, and a part of you felt incredibly guilty as you stood at his door and knocked. No matter how many times Natasha told you this was harmless, you still couldn't believe her.

"Are we knocking now? What happened to 'your place is my place'?" Bucky asked as he opened the front door to let you in, barely moving aside so your arm brushed against his when you walked past him.

"Ha ha. Just didn't know if it was locked or not." You punched his shoulder and he scrunched up his face in mock offense.

"Sure. Go sit down and pick a movie, I'm just getting some snacks ready." Bucky said, nodding to the couch before he turned and walked into the kitchen, black sweatpants so low on his hips you could just about see the waistband of his boxers, wearing a black t-shirt with his hair pulled back into the low bun you'd helped him learn how to do.

You nodded slowly, watching him walk away for a few seconds before rolling your eyes at your own idiotic behaviour and slumping down across Bucky's couch, the remote in your hand as you lazily flicked through Netflix.

"Any particular genre?" You shouted out to Bucky, who came out from the other room to shrug his shoulders at you.

"Like I said, doll, whatever you'd like. Only fair after I made you come with me to see that god-awful movie Pheobe forced me to watch."

You snorted a laugh, frowning when he walked away again, your mind wandering to the last time you went to the movies with Bucky, over a month ago now, when he had forced you to third-wheel his second date with 'Pheobe' for no apparent reason.

It was almost humiliating the way she had pulled you aside in the bathroom.

"I seriously don't mean to be rude but... why are you here?" Pheobe whispered, despite the fact that every stall was empty and Bucky was stood outside the building, but your face grew heated as the woman across from you voiced the exact question you'd been asking yourself all night, "Like, at first I thought you were a lesbian, but after that story you told earlier I'm assuming you're not, which is fine, but why are you here? I told Bucky this was a date. Does he really not like me at all?"

You were stumped, opening and closing your mouth like a blank-minded fish, searching for the answer that you didn't have, only coming up empty, "Honestly Phoebe, I have no idea. I'm sure he does like you, maybe he just wanted me to come to..."

"Maybe he just wanted to go on a date with you."

"What?!"

"You heard me. I think I'm the third-wheel here." Her voice went quiet, and you instantly felt bad.

"No, Pheobe. That's absurd, he's my best friend."

"You might want to re-think that."

"What did you pick?" Bucky asked, placing the bowl of popcorn in-between you as he sat down and you smiled at him, pushing away the memory.

"Twilight." You replied, sinking back into your seat as you grabbed and handful of popcorn and shovelled it into your mouth.

Bucky nodded as his eyes focused on the screen, his jawline prominent as he chewed, licking his lips of the salty flavouring, a light stubble on his jaw from not shaving in a few days-

"You good?"

You gulped loudly, taking a breath as you met his eyes, embarrassed that you'd been caught staring, "Yup." You said, nodding as you turned to look at the screen again, ignoring his amused chuckle.

Your mind wandered to the conversation you'd had with Natasha only hours ago.

'Don't overthink it, just bring it up when you get the chance, be casual about it'

No overthinking, casual. Easy. Maybe now would be a good time to bring it up, casually, without overthinking anything.

"Actually-" You started, clearing your throat when it immediately closed up and your fight or flight was begging to kick in, your mind instantly wondering to all of the negative repercussions this could-

You were definitely overthinking right now.

"Yes?" Bucky asked, still half watching the movie before he fully turned to face you, sensing that this sounded fairly serious.

Definitely not casual either.

"I wanted to uh, talk to you about something." The temptation to smack yourself on the forehead was growing unbearably stronger by the second, but you imagined that would probably raise some concern. Your hands twitched by your sides instead.

"What is it?"

"Well, it's kind of- I basically, well." You tried to awkwardly laugh it off, but sighed instead, just fucking say it, fucking lie to your best friend to find out if he's jealous, "There's this guy."

His eyebrows raised, lips parting, before he quickly snapped his mouth shut and furrowed his eyebrows, taking on a sort of clinical expression as he nodded, motioning for you to continue.

"He's uh... I really- like... him, and... he's..." You took a breath, too many pauses, "different, you know?"

He scrunched his face up, "Different? What does that even mean."

"I don't know I just-" You covered your face with your hands, regretting every decision that had led you to this point. "I really want him to like me."

It was quiet for a moment, and you wanted to peak at him, but couldn't.

Bucky sighed, hands gently taking hold of your wrists to pull your hands away from your face, "Look sweetheart, if he's really a smart guy, he'll already like you. Any person would be lucky to have you, you don't need to change for anyone."

You rolled your eyes at him but smiled nonetheless, "I know Buck, thank you. I just..."

Don't overthink it.

"I was wondering if maybe, you might give me some advice? I'm seeing him on Monday and I guess I just want to make him want me, you know?"

He paused, still holding onto your wrists, "Want you?"

"Yeah, you know like- I wanna know what guys really like. I want to make sure he'll never forget me. That sort of thing."

"Sweets, I don't know if you should be asking me that. Why don't you just talk to Natasha if it's that important." He said, letting go of your wrists and pulling away.

"Because I want to hear it from a guy, and Steve's far too awkward for this conversation. C'mon Buck, please. I want you to teach me."

"You want me to teach you?" He asked, more than slightly breathless, and you quickly realised that this sounded much less like getting advice for a guy you like and more trying to get info on what Bucky liked sex-wise.

You did not plan for it to go down that route, and you wondered if you should pull it back, change the subject and try this again another time, without getting too explicit, but the way Bucky had almost whispered those words, was driving you insane. You wanted this to go further. "Yeah, I want to give this guy the night of his life."

He clenched his jaw, and tried not to laugh at the situation, almost tempted to text Natasha at that very moment and break the news. 'Jaw has clenched, I repeat, the jaw has clenched'. You managed to keep that temptation under control, still finding the situation slightly humorous before you actually realised what this meant.

Holy fuck, he's jealous.

You knew now was as good a time as any to push further, and with your new-found realisation, came a new-found confidence, the nerves pushed to the back of your mind, the only thing left of them being the fluttering in your chest.

"What do you think I should wear?" You held back a smirk when he leaned forward in his seat, elbows rested on his knees as he dropped his face into his hands. You kept pushing, "Remember that green dress I wore to your birthday last year? Do you think I should wear that one? You'd think he'd like that? Would you like it if it were you?"

"What do you mean if it were me?"

You froze, your cheeks heating up, that heat spreading to your neck as you quickly tried to save yourself whilst keeping this strange relaxed smoothness to your voice. "If you went on a date with Pheobe, and she wore that dress, would you like it?" You asked, before deciding to push it even further. Natasha's voice echoed in your mind 'play with him a little', "Would you think about taking it off her?"

He didn't even hesitate to reply, turning his head to look at you as he continued to sit forward, an almost angered air to his words, "It wouldn't suit her."

"You don't like it? But I thought-"

"Yes, I liked the dress, you looked fucking gorgeous in it. It just would suit her." He urged, the words coming out in one breath, his voice straining over the final word as if it was physically uncomfortable to say, like he held a certain distaste for the word. Her.

You could sense the atmosphere in the room changing, warping with the darker, heavy feeling that radiated off the man you were teasing without him even realising it, and although you knew you should probably stop, that you were getting on his nerves and for some reason this seemed to be a touchy subject, that nagging, red-headed voice was seeping into your thoughts again, telling you to go further, so you continued to push.

"Would he like it do you think?" You asked, tilting your head, keeping that sickly sweet innocent look on your face, he sighed and closed his eyes, his tongue wetting his lips again, teeth biting at the soft skin.

"If he had half a brain he'd fucking love it." He breathed, eyebrows furrowing along the words 'fucking love it' and you knew exactly what he was thinking of, the picture he had in his head.

Your smile faded, watching the way he opened his eyes but kept them trained to his feet. That heat grew in your chest, that weight, that feeling, weaving its way around your heart and seeping into your bloodstream, it carried through your veins, and suddenly you had never felt closer to your teenage self than you did now, like she had pushed the older you aside and taken her place, because she knew this feeling, she was the only version of you to ever fully accept and admit it for what it was, that the reason she blushed so much when her best friend asked her to prom because he'd rather go with you than some random girl he didn't care about, was because you loved him, and of course you still do now, of course you do.

You thought of what Pheobe said that night, you thought of what Natasha was constantly telling you, or that time Steve accidentally slipped that Bucky had a crush on you when you were younger, and you looked at him now, quickly realising that it was never them who warped your idea of Bucky's feelings, it was you.

The feeling had encapsulated your entire being now, the realisation of yours and his feelings and you decided that you had both waited far too long if this is what you wanted.

And you wanted him.

So you continued to play, speaking with a much more serious air this time, you didn't smirk, you just watched him as you spoke.

"I guess that's settled then, I just need to know what to wear under it." You practically whispered it, the warm apartment feeling sweltering now.

"Fuck." He whispered to himself, dropping his head in his hands again, "What are you doing?"

He looked at you from his bent position, almost looking desperate. No, he did look desperate, and you hated and loved it at the same time, for two very different reasons, you understood exactly what he was feeling, having been a victim to his teasing one too many times.

You parted your lips to talk, thinking for a second that you might actually be upsetting him, but then his eyes dropped to watch the movement, staring at your lips as he released a breath.

"I'm asking you for advice, Buck." You said quietly, eyes darkening as you leaned closer, your nose almost touching his and his eyes dropped again, entranced by your lips, "What about kissing?"

His lips parted, eyes darting up to meet yours, but he made no move to go back, in fact, you realised with a feather-light touch of his nose to yours, that he had inched closer to you, "What?"

His eyes were soft as he waited for you to speak, no apprehension to be seen.

"I need to know how to kiss him, how guys like it, you know?" He moved back an inch, that not so subtle disappointment in his eyes, "How do you like to be kissed, Buck?"

He shook his head in a barely there movement, eyes still not leaving yours, swallowing roughly when he caught you looking at his lips.

You moved closer to him, filling that inch that he had put between you, your heart thumping faster in your chest when he did the same, like he was magnetised, he looked at your lips again and you decided to take the chance.

"Like this?" You asked, before filling the gap completely and your pressed your lips to his, kissing him soft and slow, your stomach fluttering when he didn't hesitate to reciprocate, kissing you back the exact way you were guiding him to, but you pulled back before letting it continue for long, his breath fanning out across your lips, you gaze fluttered to his eyes for a moment, "Or like this?"

You kissed him again, this time harder, more urgency in it, your right hand lifting to his shoulder before you slid it to the nape of his neck, a sudden desperate need for his lips on every inch of your skin overcoming your thoughts when his arms wrapped around your waist.

You pulled away again and he tried desperately hard to follow you, eyes opening to voice his frustration when you wouldn't let him.

But you brushed your thumb across his bottom lip, silencing him, "Or maybe like this."

This, this was definitely the one.

You kissed him soft and slow, but this time parted your lips to brush your tongue across his, relishing in the noise that escaped him when you did so, and the way he then did the same to you, parting his lips in a way that breathed hot air into the kiss.

You were so enraptured with the taste of him that you barely even noticed when he pulled you onto his lap, your knees digging into the couch on either side of him. You only realised when his thighs between yours had suddenly stopped your ability to squeeze your thighs together in hopes of relieving that throbbing ache that had formed between them.

This kiss continued much longer than you had planned it to, forgetting what you were going to do next, but you didn't mind much, too caught up in the way his lips were so stupidly soft and his tongue was hot and wet, and his hands were huge and grasping at your clothes with a desperation so similar to the way you pulled his hair.

You pulled away again, much to his dismay as he practically growled and rolled his eyes in frustration. He rested his head back against the couch and licked his kiss swollen lips.

You needed more, barely letting yourself think about the fact that you had just kissed Bucky, The Bucky, Your Bucky.

"What about this, Buck? You like it when a girl does this?" You asked and he frowned, looking up at you in almost annoyed confusion, opening his mouth to speak but then you moved forward on his lap, sitting in a way that your core was pressed against his, his cock twitching in his sweatpants when you rolled those hips of yours, the annoyance and confusion faded and he reached for your hips, eyes fluttering shut when you made the movement again, biting your lip when it stimulated your clit, "Do you think you could come from this, Bucky? Or would you need more? Would you want my hand, or my mouth? Or would you just be begging to fuck me at this point."

He groaned at practically every question, his hands holding your hips as you grinded yourself on him, his cock now achingly hard as his hips started to lift slightly.

"Fuck, sweetheart, what is this? Why are you doing this?" He asked, his voice urgent and needy as he forced himself to stay still under you, gripping your hips tighter to signal for you to stop your movements, much to either of your dismay, "Please tell me this isn't all for some fuckin' guy."

You froze, confused for a second, before realising he still had no idea, and that guilt you had shoved away creeped back in.

Your heart was in your throat as you finally told him the truth, "It is, but he's you Buck. It was always you, it's always been you."

His lips parted, eyes widening slightly at what you had just confessed to him, "I'm the guy you were asking me advice about?"

"Well yeah, who else am I gonna get better advice about what you like from? Better to hear it from the horses mouth, eh?" You smiled sheepishly, shrugging your shoulders as you watched him huff a laugh with a shake of his head.

"Natasha, right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow but you didn't respond, probably looking very guilty of his accusation, "Well, I guess I should tell you that we may have been two-timed by her. She actually gave me the very same advice a few months ago, I just never had the guts to take it as far as you did."

"You talk to Nat about me?" You teased, but he only smiled gently, soft eyes watching you.

"Of course I do, how could I not tell her all about the girl I've been in love with since I was 15." He confessed quietly, blush reddening his cheeks, "God, she must be sick of me talking about you."

You laughed quietly, trying not to settle into the disbelief of it all and instead focus on your excitement, that teenage girl inside of you was screaming with glee and kicking her feet. You didn't let realisation that James Barnes just confessed he'd loved you the whole time you'd loved him be tainted with regret about wasted time.

"She must be sick of us both, I've been doing the same thing ever since I met her."

He smiled at you and you smiled back, pressed your forehead against his.

"What do we do now?" You asked, still very much feeling the physical after-effects of your intense make-out session.

Bucky huffed a laugh, "I'd love to say go to the bedroom, but not yet, I think we should work up to that."

You nodded and smiled, understanding what he meant and feeling thankful he was able to voice it for you, "Agreed."

"We could do this for a while longer though, still got four and a half twilight movies left to go." Bucky joked, his fingers finding their way under your shirt to brush against soft skin.

"Hm, sounds like an excuse to make out with your best friend all night."

"Maybe it is." He whispered back before he kissed you again, using his hand on your back to press you against him.

It felt so natural to the both of you, your bodies fitting together perfectly, no awkwardness or anxiety. You knew you'd both need to talk properly soon, but that could wait a few movies more, for now you could settle with kissing him until you ran out of air.

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chimcess · 7 months ago

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Waterlog || pjm (3)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 12.2k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: toxic relationship (not reader and jimin), arguments, cheating (not reader and jimin), talks about previous child abuse, anxiety attack, strong language, crying, emotional abuse (not reader and jimin), talks of bad parental relationships, abandonment issues, some PTSD, prescription medication use, mentions of depression and mental health, lots of angst in this one, finally making some progress though, age insecurity, mutual pining, lots of side character development in this one, they really are so sweet together, jimin just being the nicest boy in the world, so much PDA, physical touch is his love language 👀👀👀, writing this is so comforting even when its angsty lol, i think that's it, let me know if I missed something A/N: Hello hello. Probably my favorite chapter to date. Bad news is that I think this series might be a little longer than originally intended. My inability to just get to the point has things moving a little slow, but I'm trying my best. We'll have to see, though! Hope you enjoy reading :)

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Time went by quickly. Wednesday and Friday morning, Jimin and I met up to train for a few hours and then got breakfast together. When he asked if I wanted to work out with him in the evenings, I agreed. In the beginning, I had given him pointers, but after the second week came to a close, we had started exercising in silence. We spotted one another, made small talk, and went to dinner on the nights he did not go home to be with his parents. We got along and I was happy my overwhelming attraction to him had slowly calmed down.

I was still aware of his presence, the way he smelled, and how often he smiled and laughed, but I had grown used to seeing him walking around in barely anything at all. Hoseok called me a cougar whenever we had time to chat while Andy kept telling me to talk with Jimin about how I felt, but I had gotten very good at deflecting. Things were better and I was taking my wins whenever I could get them. Even if those wins meant I went home sexually frustrated and aching for someone to make it better.

Jimin was packing up for the night and I was getting ready to head out. He had plans with a large group of his friends, so I would have to figure out dinner by myself this time. He invited me but I politely declined. I could vaguely recall how rude his friends from that restaurant had been, and that one girl's mean glare. I had no interest in repeating that.

Giselle waved at me on her way out which I returned with a smile. She was a very sweet, college girl and getting to know her was fun. Her brother moved out here six years ago and was the only reason she left Memphis. In-State tuition and a rent-free bedroom was all it took to convince her to spend some quality time with her big brother and his dog, Lucky.

She and Sam were the closest, but I would often see her eating lunch with Megan when he was with a client. Everyone was making bets on when they would eventually hook up, but I was convinced that had already happened and they were keeping it a secret from the nosy staff.

"See you tomorrow," Yoongi called out from across the room, seemingly appearing out of thin air.

He was out of eyesight before I could reply.

"Bye Yoon," Giselle sing-songed anyway, shoving her ear buds in and leaving before the door could close behind Yoongi. "Night guys!"

As the young woman said, Yoongi and Megan were the two most important people to befriend. Not just for massages either. The both of them were hilarious and kept the back fridge stocked with our favorite snacks. On the mornings I did not have time to eat breakfast, Megan stopped and got me a muffin and coffee from her favorite cafe. If I needed someone to help me out in the pool, Yoongi was always happy to offer himself for the job. It was challenging for me to focus on my swimming when Jimin was around, and I would often come in early to get a quick work out in before he got here.

“You okay getting home?” Jimin asked.

We had come together tonight, and he had offered to drive us in his truck. I had grown very fond of the green machine, which Jimin affectionately called Fiona, and I jumped at the chance to get in his passenger seat. We were usually riding around in my car since it was better on gas.

“Yeah, I’m riding with Sam.”

Sam and I had grown close as well. He was super funny and always down to hang out with me if I showed up by myself. On the odd Sunday I felt like getting out of the house, I found myself at the gym with Sam. I was currently attempting to teach him how to swim and always filled in for Yoongi on the weekends.

Jimin nodded, “Good. See you this weekend?”

I smiled, “Can’t miss your big party.”

Jimin’s 24th birthday was on the 13th and his family liked to go big. Eloise was clearing out an entire section in their restaurant for all of us, and I had found myself teamed up with Taehyung to help with the planning. Na-Yeon put everything in his hands since she was not feeling up to the task this year. I only agreed to help when I realized just how overboard the snowboarder would go if no one was there to reel him back in. So far, I had placed the responsibility of decorating, music, and organizing the gift table on my shoulders. James had pulled me aside and thanked me when he found out. Apparently, he was also worried about Taehyung’s enthusiasm.

“It should be fun,” He nodded. “I’m going to head out.”

“See you tomorrow,” We had finally started coming 5 days a week. "We're working on your turns. Butterflies, too. Be prepared.”

He groaned, “You’re torturing me, coach.”

I laughed, “Is the baby upset?”

“Very,” He winked. My mouth went dry. Sometimes I felt silly for getting nervous around him, especially when I knew he flirted with everyone. I was not special. “See you Saturday.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled as I stared at his retreating back. “See you.”

Jimin’s birthday passed quietly. We had a great time and ate well. Taehyung got drunk enough to suggest karaoke once we cleared out the place for the night, and he and Na-yeon had all of us cracking up. I finally met Jungkook’s girlfriend, a pretty girl who did not talk very much, and I could feel the tension between the two of them. Jimin said that was just how they were and to ignore it.

After Jungkook successfully shoved Jimin's face into his cake, we opened presents. The boys got him tons of workout clothes and gear, Eloise bought him a new blender, and his parents both chipped in to get the new video game he had been talking about picking up.

I gifted him a bottle of his favorite cologne after Na-Yeon mentioned he was out. Jo Malone was the most distracting thing in my life right now, its scent clinging to the passenger side of my car most days and driving me insane if Jimin stood too close. Still, it was something I did not think I could part with now. Jimin was happy with the present and hugged me after opening it. I was positive I had this stupid grin on my face for the rest of the night.

By Halloween we were in the gym every day, save Sunday and the occasional Saturday when Jimin needed some time to rest. We both kept our word, our conversation at the restaurant we went to with Jungkook and Taehyung sticking better than I thought it would. Overtime he got more confident when asking for a break and I was a professional at picking up on his body language. We were a good team, and I was confident he would be in great shape for the Olympics.

It was mid-November now and Taehyung had finally gotten around to getting us together for the sushi date in Detroit. I had just gotten out of the shower when Jimin messaged he was going to come along. His mom had a rough Sunday and could not go to their usual dance class, so he had stayed with her instead. He looked worn out when he walked inside the pool room Monday morning so instead of training, I just sent him home. We were meeting back up on Wednesday to get back to work, but it seemed Jungkook’s nagging finally convinced him to come out with the rest of us.

My relationships with his friends had also started to improve. Taehyung had added me to their group chat a few weeks back and I had tried to keep up with them as often as I could remember to. It was not difficult. They text so often I had to silence notifications for the chat, but I had to admit they were really funny. Jungkook especially.

I was happy to spend time with everyone and getting out of the house sounded nice. Violet and Calvin were great, and I did enjoy eating dinner with them sometimes, but I would be lying if I said they would be my first choice to spend time with.

I had grown close enough with Taehyung during the partying planning that his bubbly, over the top personality had become more endearing than overwhelming. We had gone to lunch a few times together, his boldness only increasing with each meet up, and he could hold me hostage for hours if I let him. Milo was typically my saving grace, and Taehyung would leave with a wet kiss to my cheek and promises of the same time next week.

Tae: Y/N should pick you up

Jimin: Why???

Kookie: Your truck is ass

I chuckled and sent off a text of my own before going to my dresser to find something warm to wear.

Me: I don’t mind driving

Me: Don’t hate on the truck. I like it.

My phone chimed a few times but I ignored it for now. I knew I wanted to wear a pair of dark, navy jeans. It was freezing outside so a long sleeve was a must, but I could get away with just two layers. My hands found a mustard-yellow turtleneck and I smiled. I could wear my brown boots with it. Happy with my outfit, I checked on the chat.

Jimin: U sure?

Tae: The truck is GREEN

Tae: Already a crime

Kookie: It can’t go over 60

Darcy: omg stop blowing my phone up

Darcy: just ride with her dude

Jimin: Y/N?

I rolled my eyes. I hated when he did that. Jimin had the habit of double and triple checking in with someone. It was sweet but it also drove me insane. There was nothing more I disliked than repeating myself, especially if I already agreed to something.

Me: I’ll pick you up in 30, k?

Jimin: Thanks

Darcy: Was that so hard?

I frowned. So, Darcy was in a bad mood then. Shouldn't take it out on Jimin, I thought. Even if she was having a bad day, something that seemed to be a reoccurring theme with her, it doesn't mean she can just talk to people like that. Fighting the urge to give into my annoyance and call her out, I tossed my phone on my bed and made myself finish getting ready.

Walking into the living room, I went on a hunt for the jacket I wanted to wear. It was the same color as my leather boots with sherpa trim. It would tie everything together and, I hoped, would keep Taehyung from complaining too much about the “offensive” color of my shirt. He had a hard time accepting anything in the yellow or green family. Finding it on the sofa, I nodded and left it be. I would grab it on my way out.

It took me more time to get my hair figured out than anything, but once I gave up and did the same thing that I did every day, it worked itself. After that, I put on a little bit of makeup since I figured it would not take me very long. This was a casual outing with friends and the dim lights of the sushi place would give me some grace if things were not perfect. A nice base, simple eye look, and a layer of mascara already had me looking more awake than I had in months. After applying a layer of lip gloss and a misting of setting spray, I was out of the door, jacket keeping me warm, and purse tucked under my arm.

I drove in silence, like I always did, and pulled onto the curb of Jimin’s house. Sending a text to the chat, I waited for him to come out. I was a few minutes later than I said I would be, but Jimin found a way to be late for everything, so I did not feel that bad about it. Taehyung and Milo were already on leaving Ann Arbor, and Jungkook and Darcy riding with them. They would only beat us there by fifteen minutes or so, but I hoped he would hurry up and come outside. Taehyung worked hard for those reservations.

My phone vibrated and I stared at the little device in my cup holder. It was weird how my anxiety fluctuated on a daily basis. Back home, I could talk on the phone and hold a conversation behind the wheel, but ever since I came to Michigan it felt like I had taken three massive steps back. Taking a few deep breaths, I told myself that I was safe. I was parked, completely stationary, and no one was around. No traffic meant no accidents. Sucking in a harsh breath, I picked it up.

Jimin: Be out in a sec

Jimin: Just making sure mom is okay

He had not left his mother’s house in days. I was worried about Na-Yeon, but I had to believe that Jimin would tell me if something was seriously wrong with her. I had truly started to feel connected with the woman. We joked over dinner and I found myself helping her out more and more each time I came by. It would devastate me if she passed away without me knowing how bad it had gotten.

Me: Take your time

He came out only two minutes later. Wearing a heavy, black puffy jacket and tight pants, Jimin leisurely walked over and got into the car. His cologne hit me as soon as the door opened, and I bit my lip, trying to hide the deep inhale I took. Jo fucking Malone.

He smiled at me but otherwise kept quiet as I drove. He knew I had a difficult time behind the wheel and tried his best to keep conversation light. While I normally appreciated the sentiment, I did not want to make him sit in silence for 45 minutes. Opening and closing my mouth a few times, I struggled to come up with a good conversation topic.

We often bounced from idea to idea, mostly sticking to swimming and music, and I always found our little talks to be very insightful. Movies and tv shows had been fun to bond over, a small generational gap introducing us to shit we had never heard of before. There were so many things I could bring up, things that Jimin would jump at the idea to talk about. Still, I could not find my voice.

“So,” I started, awkwardly, trying to push past the blockade of anxiety. “Is this place as good as Tae says or is he going off on one of his rants again?”

Jimin chuckled softly. “It’s pretty good, but it’s still just sushi. Taehyung finds a way to make everything sound extravagant.”

We shared a quiet laugh.

“It was nice of him to invite me,” My hands gripped the wheel tighter. We were starting to approach more populated areas. “He didn’t have to do that.”

Jimin snorted childishly, the sound relaxing me ever so slightly. If there was one thing I hated was driving at night. I was lucky the snow had stopped falling yesterday afternoon and the roads were clear, but a part of me wished I had asked Jimin to drive.

Traffic in Saline was lighter than any town back in Colorado, and driving around was a breeze in comparison. At home, you were lucky if there was only one accident a day, but more times than not I had been stuck on the interstate for hours because of multiple car crashes. Michigan felt less hectic; safer. Not safe enough to let my guard down, but safe enough to listen to Jimin when he spoke.

“Taehyung is just that kind of guy.”

I nodded; eyes glued to the road. I wanted to say something and keep our conversation flowing, but the more cars around us the more I tuned him out. My eyes flickered between my rearview mirror, side mirrors, and windshield rapidly as I drove. Once we were out of Saline and on I-94, I loosened my grip on the wheel. We would not hit much traffic until we were closer to Detroit.

Jimin stayed quiet and looked out the window. I wanted to thank him for being so understanding, but I knew he would not want me to. I kept my thoughts to myself and focused on the road. Jimin began to hum an unfamiliar tune.

My hands were shaking when we pulled up to the restaurant. Traffic had gotten pretty bad coming into the city, but we had picked a good day to come out. Jimin hummed and sang underneath his breath for most of the car ride, and we had a few small sporadic conversations when I felt the knots in my stomach loosen for a few brief moments.

"It's been forever since I've come here," Jimin said to himself, going to unbuckle his seat belt. "It looks pretty filled up."

Bash was a sushi place across from Wayne State University's football field and was one Taehyung’s favorite restaurants. He bragged about how delicious their food was for weeks before finally wearing me down with the promise of picking up the tab. He made reservations for their omakase, or “chef’s choice,” and promised I would get his obsession.

When I talked to Megan about it, she had said it was an expensive meal, so I was going to try and force myself to enjoy it regardless of my own personal feelings. Jimin seemed to like it here, and we usually enjoyed a lot of the same foods, so it made me feel a bit better about things.

I had to park down the street and spotted Taehyung’s Mazda a few cars away. Instead of getting out, I took a few moments to gather my composure. Jimin sat beside me patiently. He had grown used to my traffic anxiety. We had driven together so many times now, and he had gotten a taste of the worst of it a handful of times.

He had only asked about it the first time we rode to the gym together, completely frazzled and unsure of himself as I hyperventilated in the driver's seat. My hands trembled violently as my palms sweat profusely, and I let myself shed a few tears once we were parked. He reached out, placing a hand on my back, and quietly asked me what was bothering me.

“Red light,” I managed to wheeze out. They were doing some construction on the main road and things started piling up. I had gotten stuck in the intersection for just a few seconds, but it was long enough to send me into a blind panic. “Anxiety. Sorry. Need a minute.”

He helped me calm down, calming down to help me through my panic attack. We played a game of I-Spy, Jimin picking out the most obvious shit and saying the most random things to point out in order to make me laugh. When I felt a little better, he got out of the car to help me get out. After that he kept quiet about my obvious driving discomforts, but stuck close just in case I needed the support, and always offered to drive.

“Ready?” He asked when I grabbed my phone out of the cup holder.

“Yeah.”

We walked inside and the hostess made light conversation while she walked us to the back. Taehyung's laugh could be heard from the other side of the room, and his bright blue hair and vibrant eyeshadow stuck out like a sore thumb in this place. Milo was dressed in all black, his arm draped around his fiancé's shoulder, and a smile on his face. Jungkook was beside him scrolling through his phone, but Darcy was nowhere in sight. Glancing at Jimin, he seemed exasperated.

“Trouble in paradise,” He murmured, leaning down so I could hear him. I had to imagine their relationship was very exhausting and took its toll on their friend group. I knew how much it sucked being caught between Tilly and Hobi back in the day. “Here we fucking go.”

Taehyung jumped out of the booth when he caught sight of us, his fluffy, white cropped top riding up, revealing even more of his tanned skin. The snowboarder wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled my hairline, showering me in compliments. Gold hoop earrings tapped my forehead, and his belly button ring was cold against my ribcage. He was happy to see me “dolled up” for once and forgave how ugly my shirt was since I looked “so cute.”

Milo gave me a slight wave, eyes never leaving Taehyung's bouncing body as he embraced Jimin, and Jungkook put his phone down to greet us. Darcy had gone to the bathroom and from the look on Milo’s face, Jimin’s was right about trouble in paradise. Whatever was going on, we were all about to fall witness. It made my stomach churn just thinking about it.

Our waitress brought a new pot of tea, asking us if we needed anything, before leaving with the promise of the first course coming out soon. Darcy almost slammed into the poor woman on her way back to our booth, her annoyed huff making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. When she sat down beside her boyfriend her entire body was rigged and face pulled together tightly. She did not spare us a glance as she sulked.

Darcy was a very beautiful girl and it made sense why Jungkook liked her so much. Tanned skin, green eyes, and black hair, the girl had one of those bodies most women would pay thousands of dollars for. Like Taehyung had said, she was a pleasant enough person, and we did not along well enough to hold a conversation, but there was no hiding the fact that Darcy was not a nice girl. In fact, I would venture to say she was very, very mean.

I saw it firsthand at Jimin’s birthday party. I had a moment where I felt myself panicking. Overwhelmed with all of the noise and people, I excused myself and called Andy to get my head back on straight. The women's restroom was tucked away in a small hallway and allowed me the space to shed a few tears. I was just starting to calm down, Andy's words of encouragement getting back to some sort of baseline, while I rubbed cold water on my neck. That was when I heard Jungkook on the other side of the door.

He was angry and when I told Andy I needed to go, I had every intention of going out there to talk to him, but another voice beat me to it. Darcy had been in a bad mood since she walked through the front door, her shitty attitude bringing down the party every time she opened her mouth. At first, I just brushed it off as an off night, something I could feel empathy towards, but then she opened her mouth and stopped those thoughts in their tracks.

The two of them were serial cheaters, and Jimin had alluded to that being their main issue when I asked about her attitude problem earlier that night. Eloise was the person who gave me the whole story and was not afraid to voice her dislike for the older girl. This was different from Milo, a guy who she clashed with due to their night and day personalities. Darcy had actively picked on and made fun of her growing up, and bullied her older sister while they were in school together.

Darcy, according to Eloise, started the back-and-forth cheating when they were in college. Instead of going their separate ways, something I doubt anyone would have blamed Jungkook for doing, he chose to get even. After fucking one of her sorority sisters, Jungkook made his way through the entire house within the span of three months. In retaliation, Darcy slept with a couple of guys from the NHL, something she still did to this day.

On the night of the party, she was still fuming over catching him with another woman a few days prior. Trapped in the bathroom and too afraid to let them know I could hear them; I suffered through five minutes of a couple’s quarrel I had no business being in the middle of. It was an eye opener for sure and made me avoid getting too close to either of them.

Darcy was very mean and spiteful, her words meant to cut him deeply with little care about how it would make him feel in the long run. She even brought up screwing one of his rivals to get back at him, something she had done on numerous occasions, and went as far as to compare the two men in bed. It helped to explain why Jungkook hated Jackson Wang so much.

Jungkook, despite how much I enjoyed him as an individual, was just as awful. He spent most of the argument defending his bad behavior by bringing up her own and took no accountability for his actions. He could have sex with all of Michigan and it would be justified because she cheated on him first. It was all very juvenile, and I tried my best to avoid them for the rest of the night.

“Bet they can’t go ten minutes without fighting,” Jimin mumbled in my ear.

I fought back a smile, leaning into his side. Physical touch was the swimmer’s love language and I had slowly grown accustomed to small touches here and there. So, it did not catch me off guard when his arm came around my shoulders, resting just above my head, hand gently brushing against my neck. The voice in my head often wished he would do it more often.

“She won’t start something before the food gets here,” I reasoned, stealing a look at the couple. Jungkook seemed fine, but from the look on Darcy’s face that might change soon. “I’ll say twenty.”

“What are we bargaining for?”

I laughed awkwardly, “Whatever you want.”

Taking a second to think, Jimin eyed the couple across the table. Taehyung and Milo were obviously extremely aware of the couple's awkward tension and tactfully ignored them, instead giggling about some inside joke. They were a very sweet pair. My weariness about Milo had dissipated over the last few weeks, but I could understand why he and Eloise could not get along.

Lou herself had admitted to being a bit of a stuck-up teenager back in the day, and Milo was the typical small-town stoner. They constantly butt heads when they were in high school, and just drifted apart with age. Taehyung and Jimin's friendship were the only reason they were in the same circle anymore, and the two just never spoke to avoid pressing buttons.

“I want to do something together,” Jimin finally said, I smiled, trying to ignore the snarky comments Darcy was making. The arguing was starting, and I felt my neck growing hot. Did they have to do this in public? “Get dinner or something.”

“We do that all the time,” I countered, half-heartedly paying attention to him.

“Denny’s doesn’t count," He mumbled.

The waitress finally came back with a large tray of sushi in her hand. That seemed to break up the argument momentarily, but Darcy did not seem pleased to be interrupted. Stuffing a large piece of ahi sashimi in my mouth, I sparked up a conversation with Taehyung to keep myself from having another meltdown. Beside him, Milo sent me a grateful look.

The rest of the table was silent, waiting for the fight to resume. Taehyung kept smiling painfully, but I could see the panic bubbling in his eyes, and for once I saw a small crack in his otherwise well-crafted facade.

“I didn’t mean just getting food,” Jimin finally continued when we hit a lull, and it took me a few seconds to remember what he was talking about. “I meant… going out.”

I looked at him, eyebrow raised. His cheeks were puffed with scallops and I wished we were alone. This was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of the others, especially if he was insinuating what I thought he was. I did not want to jump to conclusions, but I was sure he was asking me out on a date. Even if it made me feel jittery thinking about it, I had a difficult time finding the voice to say yes. Saying no felt just as impossible, though, and I wished he would have picked a better time to bring this up. Whatever the hell this was.

“What are you asking me?” I whispered, taking another piece of fish off my plate, sneaking a look at Taehyung and Milo.

They were too wrapped up in one another to being listening in on us. I did not even bother checking in with the other two. I knew for a fact they did not care about anybody else but themselves.

“You know,” He replied.

Dating was not off the table, and I was more than happy to indulge myself, but I was worried about crossing this invisible line I had drawn. What would people say if they found out? A coach and her trainee, and even worse, the older woman and her much younger man. I could see the headlines now and it made my palms sticky. That would not be a good look for either one of us, and I did not want our personal relationship to affect Jimin’s career.

Putting my chopsticks down, I leaned away from him. “Can we talk about this later?”

He nodded, meeting my eyes, and I was relieved to see he was not upset. I had seen him angry a few times now, and he wore it on his sleeve with pride. Jimin was not afraid of his emotions, something I found extremely attractive, and it was nice that all I could see right now was understanding. Whatever happened he would hear me out, and I had to hope he would be understanding. I just had to be sure I did not fuck anything up.

Across the table the bickering had started again. Our waitress brought out the rest of our meal, sans desert, and seemed happy we were enjoying the food. She eyed Darcy wearily and left our table in a hurry. I felt horrible for the wait staff who had come to our table. They were all getting the nastiest looks from the dark haired beauty.

“Do we really have to do this now?” Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair roughly. His face was red and expression tight. “In front of my friends, dude? Are you serious?”

I cleared my throat, grabbed my tea and took a long sip before sinking into the booth and praying no one could see me. Jimin’s arm dropped, and he squeezed my shoulder in comfort. I let myself melt under his touch. It always felt nice when his hands were on me, his warmth burning hot like a furnace even in below freezing temperatures. Taehyung’s eyes were bulging out of his head now, his bottom lip trembling as he tried his best to keep the conversation between the four of us light. He had stopped trying to include the other two.

“You two seem close,” He gritted, fakeness coming from him that I had never encountered before. “Glad you were able to sort that out.”

I looked over at Jimin and saw his cheeks had gone pink. So, Taehyung knew something I didn’t. It would make sense for the childhood best friend to get the scoop before the chick he’s known for two months, I had definitely vented to my friends on more than one occasion, and my curiosity was peaked.

“I'm working on it,” Jimin replied, taking a big gulp of water. “Thanks, Tae," He breathed, rolling his eyes.

I stifled a laugh. He was so cute when he was embarrassed. I made a mental note to ask Tae to explain what he meant when we had a chance to get lunch. I had a feeling the snowboarder would be more than happy to divulge that little piece of information.

“Talking about me to your friends?” I teased, trying my best to ignore the ever-growing argument across from me. The butterflies in my stomach were a helpful distraction. “Good things, I hope.”

He cracked a smile, face and neck flushed. “The best things.”

Such a flirt.

I bit my lip and looked away. Eating was a nice way to interrupt the electricity that was enveloping us, and I gorged myself on octopus and tuna. Whatever the hell these dishes were, I had to admit the sushi here was the best I had ever had. I would never doubt a recommendation from Taehyung again.

The conversation started flowing easily after that. Jungkook and Darcy were at a stalemate and were relatively quiet on their side of the booth. With the atmosphere lightening, Milo felt good enough to start telling us his latest work stories. He was a firefighter along with all three of his brothers. His father was promoted to chief about five years ago but was coming up to his retirement. The only one of his siblings to avoid the fireman fate was his baby sister, but had still managed to find a job at the station.

"You guys must be close," I laughed in disbelief.

“It’s the family business,” He joked. "Rosie is our new EMT."

Taehyung spoke excitedly about his upcoming competitions and was really hopeful he would win enough to qualify for the Olympics this year. Milo and Jimin both reassured him multiple times while I tried my best to keep up with everything he was talking about. I had very little knowledge of snowboarding, so I was having to constantly interrupt and ask for clarification. No one seemed to mind, and eventually Jungkook joined in to talk about his upcoming hockey games.

The Red Wings were having a good year, and he was proud of his team for working as hard as they did. As a goalie, he did not do a lot of skating, but his job was one of the hardest on the team. From what I knew after watching a few games on tv with Jimin's family, Jungkook was one of the best goalies in the NHL who was highly sought after. He had been offered millions to transfer to the New York Rangers, but out of loyalty he turned them down.

“I’ll take you to a few matches if you want,” Jimin offered. “Kook can get us tickets whenever.”

I smiled, “That sounds like fun.”

“Milo and I go all of the time so we can sit together,” Taehyung interjected, his shoulders relaxed for the first time since we got here.

Darcy was quiet and stayed on her phone. Jungkook was pretending she was not here, and it helped keep the arguing from starting again. I was not sure how long the truce would last, but I hoped they could hold it together long enough for us to finish eating.

“So Y/N,” Milo mused, taking a piece of fish from Taehyung’s plate. “Have you ever thought about competing again?”

I laughed nervously, “For a time, maybe. My injuries make it hard for me to swim the way I used to so I decided to keep it as a hobby.”

It was not a complete lie, but I knew I might be able to get back into competitions if I put in the time and effort. I hated the thought of being back in the spotlight, cameras shoved in my face, only to lose and give them more to talk about. I was still recovering from the trauma they inflicted on me after the accident. My leg injuries just gave me the perfect excuse to keep my distance.

He nodded, eyebrows knitted, “I didn’t know you had medical leave. What happened?”

Jimin tensed up beside me.

“I was in a car accident,” I replied. Talking about what happened did not bother me as much as it used to, and Milo seemed genuinely interested in the answer. “I had to get a full knee replacement on my left side, and a full hip replacement. I should have lost my leg, but the doctor on staff recognized me and brought up my profession.”

Milo whistled, giving me a sympathetic look. “Leg? You could have died.”

“Well,” I breathed, finishing off my last piece of fish. “I pulled through though, so it wasn’t all bad.” I fiddled with my shirt, pretending to smooth it down as I played it cool. "Anyway, I have nerve damage in my leg that makes me get really horrible cramps and twitching if I overwork my muscles. It sucks but coaching is really fun, so I can't complain."

Blatantly lying wasn't something I did often, but I truly hated reliving the months of physical therapy. Unable to walk or talk, I was stuck in that hospital bed for weeks and then got sent home to watch my closest friends wait on me hand-and-foot. When I wasn’t in physical therapy, I was with my SLP. When I wasn’t with her then I was in bed, crying into my pillow, and wishing I had never woken up. It was an extremely dark time in my life, one filled with chronic pain and overwhelming depression, and talking about it made me emotional.

“Anyway,” Taehyung sent his fiancé a pointed look. “Kookie’s next home game is in two weeks.”

Happy to be out of the spotlight, I began to talk with Jimin about changing our schedule around so we could attend the game. Taehyung was excited to get me some Red Wing merchandise, and Jungkook quickly began to boast about his prowess on the ice. Darcy scoffed beside him and I felt the group tense up.

“You’re so cocky, Ian,” She taunted, eyes glued to her phone. “I heard Avalanche was doing really well this season.”

I knew from the group chat that the Red Wings and the Colorado Avalanche had a long-standing rivalry. It had started all the way back in the mid-90’s and reached its peak in 2002. While the intensity had dissipated over the years, it had recently spiked up again due to Jungkook and Jackson Wang’s ongoing feud. The only reason Darcy would bring that up would be to piss her boyfriend off.

“Hm,” Jungkook smirked, chuckling darkly. “Who told you that?”

I held my breath, already guessing where this was going. The tension from earlier was thicker than ever as we fell silent. Darcy put her phone on the table, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and looked Jungkook in the face as she replied.

“Jackson.”

It was dead silent for a few seconds. Then, without waiting for a response, Darcy kept digging the knife in and twisting. She called him ugly, said he sucked in bed, brought up all of the ways Jackson was better than he was, and went as far as to bring up his father's affair. Jungkook could not get a word in as her silky voice dropped lower and lower, words cutting deeper and deeper, and eyes growing brighter as she watched his expression fall. I learned something tonight. Darcy enjoyed hurting Jungkook.

"Why are you doing this, dude?" Jungkook's voice was thick with emotion. "You're acting like a fucking child. It's embarrassing."

“Holy shit,” Milo groaned as their voices got louder. “Are they being forreal right now?”

“Babe,” Taehyung scolded, the forced smile still plastered on his face. “Language.”

“You weren’t embarrassed when you fucked that girl” Darcy screamed and I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. “Why should I feel bad about airing out my dirty laundry? Everyone here knows how much of a whore I am anyway, isn’t that right, Ian?”

“Keep your voice down,” Jungkook hissed, eyes glassy. “You’re causing a scene.”

Taehyung and Milo looked as mortified as I felt, both of them staring at Darcy in horror. The entire restaurant had gone silent. Eyes were glued to our table as they argued. She shouted about him getting his dick sucked in their bed, and Jungkook was just angry she was acting like this in public. It was Jimin’s birthday all over again only this time they knew people were watching and did not care. Taehyung’s smile was finally gone and replaced by trembling lips and fidgeting hands.

“Take that shit outside,” Jimin cut in, voice cold and hard. Darcy glared daggers in our direction. “You’re going to get us kicked out.”

Darcy opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by the waitress coming back and demanding our party leave. Taehyung began to apologize profusely while Darcy stormed out of the restaurant, bumping into numerous people roughly without looking back. Jungkook was hot on her heels, breathing heavily, and eyes glossed over with unshed tears. She shouted that Jackson was outside and for Jungkook to go fuck himself. Jungkook didn’t reply but I knew he was not expecting the other man to be here. I sure the fuck wasn't.

An arm wrapped around my shoulders, “Hey, calm down. Breathe.”

I had not realized I had been holding my breath. Turning my head, I was taken aback by how close Jimin was. Our noses brushed together, his breath hot against my cheek, and I jerked away, heart racing. The butterflies were swarming now, and a shiver went down my spine. His arm dropped and I immediately missed its warmth. Flustered, I scooted out of the booth and kept my head hung low. I was so embarrassed, and I could hear Taehyung’s voice starting to wobble as he handed over some cash to the waitress for the trouble. No one was going home happy tonight.

“I’m so fucking pissed off,” Jimin grunted, keeping in step with me. Milo was attempting to get a now hysterical Taehyung calmed as they followed behind us. “I don’t know why Tae invites the two of them anywhere.”

I shook my head, “It’s not his fault. She needs to get some self-control, though. That was so rude and uncalled for, and for what?"

“They both owe him a fucking apology,” He sighed harshly.

The guests of honor were already in a very heated screaming match when we finally made it outside. Whatever had been brewing inside had clearly reached its peak, and neither one of them was willing to back down. Jimin’s arm was back around my shoulders as he tried his best to shelter me from the strong winds that were kicking up. Looking at Darcy and Jungkook all I could see were my parents and it caused me great discomfort. Maybe I should try to call my dad again and make sure he was alright? He rarely answered but at least it would cut some of the edge off of my anxiety.

“Why are you acting like this?” Jungkook shouted, pulling at his hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?”

“You!” Darcy shrieked. “You! You! YOU! You’re the problem. This is all your fault!”

Jungkook called her a crazy bitch and Darcy slapped him across the face before stomping off. A sleek red convertible was waiting for her on the curb, a well-groomed man behind the steering wheel. He smiled and waved at Jungkook before speeding off, Darcy already attaching her lips to his neck and not sparing any of us a second glance.

“What the fuck!” Taehyung shouted, sobbing and clinging to Milo.

I was surprised he was able to hold himself back for that long. He seemed hellbent on strangling Jungkook as soon as he was able. I stepped to the side watching a man I had never seen upset shove Jungkook backwards. Any resemblance of a smile was gone now, replaced with a snot-nosed, red eyed man with bared teeth. Jungkook stumbled, barely keeping his footing before shoving the other man back. Milo was quick to defend his fiancé, pushing Jungkook so hard he stumbled, fell on his ass, and cried out in pain.

Jimin’s arm gripped me tighter as he stared at the scene unfold in silence. His clenched jaw, however, told me how angry he was. I briefly wondered what he would be doing if he was not so focused on keeping me warm.

“That was so fucked up,” Taehyung cried, wiping his face roughly. “I told you both to keep that shit at home or don’t come!”

“She started it! It’s not my fault-”

“Dude,” Milo shook his head, wrapping his arms around Taehyung. “It doesn’t fucking matter. That’s your girl.”

As the three of them argued, I tried to decipher the look on Jimin’s face. He was angry, that was very apparent, and I felt my own anger finally start to rise. He had been dealing with so much shit and on his first night out in ages this happens? It was unfair and ridiculous, my frustration over the entire situation making me want to go over and push Jungkook around, too. However, I knew that was not the way to handle this. Truth was, he was not the only person to blame for how badly the night had ended. Darcy was the main instigator.

“Are you okay?” I asked Jimin, stepping away from his tight embrace. His arm was still around my shoulders with no sign of moving. “I’m sorry everything got so shitty.”

He nodded, face softening when he looked at me. “Just worried about Taehyung. He was really excited about tonight.”

The yelling was finally starting to calm down and I was happy that they were talking things out. I did not think I could handle the screaming for any longer. I had been a bundle of nerves since I left my house, and my fingers trembled at my sides. I could hear my mother’s voice echoing in my head, though I was positive it was distorted after so many years. Sometimes when her and dad fought, she would find me hiding in my closet and pull me out, hands leaving my skin tender from the harsh grip she had on my arms, before telling me to clean up the broken dishes from off the floor.

“Come here you little shit!”

She hated me; hated being a mother. I could remember how much I wished she would hold me like the other kids' moms held them but was too afraid to ask. One time I drew a picture of her at school and she never even looked at it. Instead, she smoked her cigarettes at the dinner table and watched Law and Order. If I really thought about it, she threw the drawing away. It was too dirty. Just like I was too dirty.

Mom had germaphobia and considered me one of the dirtiest things she had ever seen. I was not allowed in their bedroom because of it. Dad went along with it like he did everything else. When he wasn’t drinking, he was sleeping or in the garage. I hoped he was doing okay. Danielle seemed to be just as controlling as mom had been.

“Where’d you go?”

I startled, whipping around to find Jimin staring at me. His expression was gentle and calm, and I was suddenly aware of the harsh chill nipping at my wet cheeks. I had not noticed I was starting to cry. Strange. It had been a long time since those memories had been brought up.

“Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing my arm. “You looked lost.”

I nodded, quickly reaching up to pat the tears away. It was a good thing my mascara was smudge proof or else I might look even more pathetic. I am 31 now and it felt stupid to cry over things so far in the past. Things I had not had to deal with in well over 20 years. Dr.Wolfe would disagree with me, but she wasn't here.

“Yeah,” I nodded, voice thick. “Just zoned out for a second. Eyes must have dried out.”

It was a bad lie, but a lie he accepted. Squeezing my arm one last time, he finally moved away to give me a bit of breathing room. That was another thing that I always appreciated about the guy. He never overstayed his welcome, even if he wanted to. Taking a second to compose myself, I mindlessly fixed my hair and adjusted my clothes. Nervous habit.

“I think everyone’s heading home for the night,” Jimin said, nodding his head toward the other three men. “They seem cool. You ready to leave?”

I shrugged, “If you are.”

He nodded and walked over to the ground. I gave myself another moment to gather my thoughts. The worst of it was over and I doubted those memories would make themselves known again. With the screaming over it would not take long for my head to get itself straightened out. I might ask Jimin to drive us back, though. I was exhausted, and frankly, I did not think we would be safe if I was behind the wheel. Nothing worse than an anxious driver.

Jungkook was ashamed of their behavior tonight, and when I joined the others, he was quick to throw a million apologies in my direction. I accepted them all easily but knew it would take me a few days to fully forgive him. Tonight was a lot. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung privately and ask him not to invite the couple out with us. If I never had to see Darcy again it would make my stay that much easier.

“I think we’re going to go home,” Milo said once Jungkook walked away. He was planning on calling an Uber so Tae could have a bit of space. “My little flower is burned out for the night.”

I smiled sadly, “Are you sure? We can always try something else.”

Taehyung’s head snapped in my direction and I wanted to scoop him up in my arms. His face was puffy from crying and eyes still misty. He was quick to nod his head and reached out to take hold of my hands.

“You still want to hang out with me?” He whimpered.

I had only said it to cheer him up not thinking that he would actually go for the idea. I had never seen him so distraught before and Milo seemed convinced that he was over having fun. Stealing a look at the blonde, he gave me a grateful smile but otherwise kept a watchful eye on Taehyung.

“Of course I do,” I finally replied, squeezing his large hands. “Tonight wasn’t your fault.”

His lower lip started to wobble again and next thing I knew I was in a very tight, warm hug. Taehyung cried into the crook of my neck. He was worried I would not like him anymore because of the fight. I awkwardly hugged him back, hoping my calm reassurances would soothe him. We really needed to get from outside the front of this restaurant before they called the cops.

“It’s alright,” I said, trying to gently remove his arms from my waist. “We’re still friends, I promise.”

After another minute of crying, Taehyung was back in Milo’s arms. His face was red, and his nose was running, but the sobs had stopped. Jimin placed a hand on my lower back and started to bounce a few ideas off of Milo. It was late, but from the sound of things, our get together was not over. I could not say for certain if this was a good thing or not, I did need to have that talk with Jimin. If we were out too late there was no way for me to promise I would not pass out in the car.

“Uh,” Jimin thought for a second. “If we’re still hungry there’s Pie Sci and Woodbridge is right down the street. There's also that park a few blocks away."

I shrugged, “Whatever’s the best?” Looking at Taehyung, I made sure that he was feeling well enough to hang out. “I won’t be upset if you want to go home. It was a rough night for all of us.”

He sniffled and nodded. “I’m just really tired.”

Jimin and I said our goodbyes and I promised the blue haired boy I would call him in the morning to set up another meet up. He called it a group date, something neither Jimin nor I disagreed with, but it did make me feel queasy. Depending on how our conversation goes, we may never spend time together outside of training. I felt like I was going to vomit.

“Let me drive?” Jimin murmured as we parted ways with the couple.

I nodded, digging in my purse to find them. “Mind reader, I swear. Get out of my head, kid.”

He snickered, “Who says you weren’t in mine, granny”

The queasiness dissipated and I felt like I could breathe a little bit easier now. Being alone with Jimin had never felt this nerve wracking before, not even the first time we met, and it was hard to explain all of the thoughts and feelings going through my head. We were finally having the talk, but I had never imagined it going this way. Handing him the keys, I elbowed him in the ribs.

“Whoops,” I mocked. “You know me and my bad eyesight, kiddo.”

“Watch it,” He hissed, rubbing the spot. “Don’t want you breaking anything. You know you have frail bones.”

I laughed, “Don’t make me give you a knuckle sandwich, punk.”

Sliding into the passenger seat felt less daunting after the light hearted exchange. Still, my blood was pumping as Jimin clicked his seatbelt in place. I had no idea when the conversation would shift into murkier waters, but I needed to start thinking about what to say to him.

Denying my feelings would only make things worse, and I did not think the younger man would believe me. In fact, he would be offended that I thought he was dumb enough to get bamboozled in the first place. Lying did not seem like the right call anyway. My feelings were not something to feel ashamed about, but they were very frightening.

“When is later?”

I gasped, startled out of my thoughts. We had been driving for over ten minutes already. Time seemed to slip by when I was lost in my own head. Jimin apologized for scaring me but repeated the question once I reassured him that I was fine.

“Now,” I mumbled. “I guess later is now.”

Turning on the blinker, Jimin switched lanes smoothly. He was probably the best driver that I knew and always made sure to keep my little quirks in mind during our rides. He had even gotten used to leaving the radio off when I was around, something that I appreciated more than words could ever say. Recognizing that I was stalling, I cleared my throat and tried my best to get my jumbled thoughts across.

“As much as I would like to go on that date,” I started, voice weak, “I’m just a bit concerned with how that might affect our ability to work together.”

There we go, I thought to myself mentally patting myself on the back. That was not as hard as I thought it would be. Leaving out a few details would not hurt anybody, and it was the main cause of concern for me. My age was definitely up there, but I doubted Jimin would understand my perspective. To him I was just older, but to the rest of the world I was this cougar on the prowl for young men to help me relive my glory days. Even my own friends thought it was funny to make fun of the age gap.

“Is it only because of that?” Jimin pressed, his voice telling me that he was still reacting positively to whatever was coming out of my mouth. I was refusing to look at him, fearful that he would see through me. “Or is there something else bothering you?”

“W-w-well-” I stammered, “There is the media frenzy to think about. Sejin is already dealing with the press and your ‘out of character’ seclusion this season. Then there’s the age gap. I just-” I struggled to find the right words. Having let my insecurity slip out, I lost my flow and scrambled to get back on track. “Look, I haven’t done this whole dating thing in a really long time, and I don’t want that to get in the way of being a good coach. Ozzie put me in charge of you, and my reputation is on the line.”

I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Mouth dry and palms sweaty, I forced myself to look out of the window as I spoke. Anxiety had been something I dealt with for as long as I could remember, and it only got worse the older I got. My hands and fingers trembled in my lap as I tried to steady my breathing.

In all of the dreams I had about Jimin, and there had been quite a few at this point, this moment had never felt so real and raw. We were always in these picture perfect pieces of heaven, sunshine beaming down on us, and the words I desperately wanted to say fell from my lips with ease. It was simple and sweet, and yet profound and beautiful. I could wax poetics and put myself thoughts together so eloquently he had no choice but to say yes to me.

Reality was different. Here I was stumbling over my sentences and stuttering my way through words. Instead of taking his hand with mine, I was fidgeting with shaking fingers and desperately hoping he could not see just how uncomfortable I was. I knew he did. He always noticed. My heart was racing so fast I was afraid it would burst. Had he turned the heart up? It was boiling.

“I just want to know how you feel about me.”

“Hm?” I squeaked, unable to form any real words. My mouth was too dry.

“I’ve thought about all of the same shit,” Jimin continued, voice as smooth and calming as ever. “I don’t care about any of that. All I want to know is how you feel about me.”

“You know,” I replied, wheezing. Talking felt impossible. “You know.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

Taking in a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and began the mental countdown. My therapist taught me the technique years ago and I always found it to be helpful. I did this a few times until I felt calm enough to open my eyes.

“Are you alright?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, finally feeling my heart rate slowing. “A little anxious.”

“Don’t be,” He placed a hand on my knee. “It’s just me.”

And he was right. It was just Jimin and I in my car, but that was also the reason I felt so suffocated. There was nowhere to run or hide in here, and if things went south I was stuck with him for half an hour. Trying not to let those pessimistic thoughts send me back into a panic, I began to mentally point out things in my car.

Air freshener. It's green. It smells like pine and lemons. I want a new scent. Jimin likes to buy this coconut and mango one that smells like candy. I will buy one like his. I love the smell.

I let out a heavy breath. Everything was fine. He was not upset. He just wanted to know how I felt about him. Nothing more nothing less. My heart was settling, and my fingers were no longer shaking.

“I like you,” I choked out, placing my hand over his. “But you already knew that.”

He gently laughed, flipping his hand up to intertwine our fingers.

“Yeah, you’re a terrible actress.”

I groaned, leaning my head against the window. As much as I tried kidding myself, there was absolutely no way he did not see the way I looked at him. I always knew when his flirting took on a more serious edge, like when he called me beautiful after seeing the scar on my leg for the first time, so it should not have been surprising that he picked up on a thing or two. Still, it did not make it any less embarrassing.

“How long have you known?” I asked, peeking at him through my lashes.

“I mean, I had a feeling when you first got to town, but I wasn’t completely sure until that first training day.”

He laughed at my embarrassed groan, holding my hand tighter. I knew I wasn't subtle enough. Poker face champion, my ass.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” He cooed. “You’ve been my dream girl since I was, like, 15.”

“That's not helping the age gap thing,” I tittered as I played with his fingers. Then, because I could not help myself. “Dream girl, huh?”

Picking up on the teasing tone in my voice, Jimin chortled.

“Okay, big head. Calm down.”

“Big head?” I guffawed, pulling my hand out of his grasp. “Who are you calling big head, shortstop?”

“You, big head,” Taking back my hand, Jimin pinned it down and kept a tight grip. “No take backs.”

I always loved it when Jimin was in a good mood. He was so playful and full of energy, and all signs of those dark days were in the deepest parts of his mind. It was impossible to keep myself from playing along which only served to egg him on.

“You never said yes or no.”

“Yes or no to what?” I questioned.

Jimin started rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

“To that date.”

Saying yes felt wrong, but saying no felt impossible. No matter what I said someone would be upset, and I had to decide who that would be: Jimin or America? I turned my own hand around this time and put my fingers through his. They fit together awkwardly, his hands just a bit too large, but I still found it perfect all the same.

“Do you have any ideas?”

His shiteating grin was contagious and a burst of butterflies began to flutter in my stomach. Hands clasped, Jimin started to list off all of the places we could go, but I was not fully listening. I had a date with this guy. I was going on a date with my trainee.

“What do you think?”

I blinked rapidly, hoping he could not tell that I had zoned out.

“You pick,” I breathed. “Surprise me.”

The rest of the drive back home was spent making small talk and discussing food preferences. Jimin was a dinner and a movie kind of guy, while I would rather do some sort of activity. What type of conversation could we have in a theater? Jimin seemed excited to plan out a fun night and I was just happy he was this into me. The feeling was most definitely mutual.

“Do you mind if I go to my house tonight? Mom needs some space and I know my dad is tired of having me breathing down their necks.”

I had yet to go over to his house. The days that we drove together were when he spent the evening with his parents. When Na-yeon and I talked about it, she was more upfront about her health situation than the men of the house. James spent most of his time taking care of his wife and their son enjoyed giving him a break every now and then. James would go on a fishing trip with his friends while Jimin stayed back to keep an eye on his mother.

“Is it closer to town?” I asked, nibbling on my lower lip.

I had yet to drive through downtown Ann Arbor. The Park house, and by proxy the Anderson’s, was a thirty minute drive from the bustling city. Nestled in the smaller town of Saline going towards Manchester, I had rarely had to leave the small town. This trip to Detroit was the farthest I had gone since arriving in Michigan, but I had a feeling the traffic in downtown Ann Arbor would be a bit much for me to drive through alone.

“Yeah,” I felt even more nervous by his nonchalant tone. “I used to live downtown, but I got tired of the noise. I bought my house in Eberwhite last summer, so there’s a little less foot traffic.”

“How’s the drive back to Saline?” Even I could hear the hesitation in my voice.

“Less than twenty,” Rubbing the back of my hand, his voice took on a sweeter tone. “We don’t have to. My truck’s at my parent’s place anyway.”

“Maybe some other time?” I forced myself to laugh, hoping to make the awkward tension leave. “Preferably when it’s not dark outside.”

I relaxed into my seat once I started seeing familiar landmarks. Saline was a very small town with a little over 2,000 residents, but downtown still had a way of attracting a relatively large crowd. Stoney Creek Brewery was packed and Jimin pointed out Sam’s car as we pass by.

“Looks like he came out with Otis and Skye,” He murmured.

Otis was another personal trainer at the gym, and Skye was responsible for marketing. They had been going out for a while now and made plan to move to Ann Arbor once Otis graduated from school. He was getting his masters in movement science at the University of Michigan. They had planned on moving out there when he graduated last year, but neither of them could find a job that could pay their bills. Otis was hoping the master’s would give him a competitive edge while Skye saved up enough money to start her own advertising firm.

“Think Gigi is with them?” I wondered.

“Probably not. She’s busy studying for an exam. I saw that she requested time off tomorrow and the day after, so I don’t think she has the time to go out for drinks.”

Giselle was getting her bachelor’s in dental hygiene at UM, and everytime I spoke to her she was swamped with work. I had no idea she needed to request time off, though. Must be an intense program.

“Did you ever go to college?” I asked Jimin.

He nodded, “I got my bachelor’s in psychology.”

Well, I had not been expecting that.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I never went back to get my master’s,” We turned onto the long road that led to his parent’s house. “I might after the Olympics.”

It was interesting to hear about his goals post-swimming. I never had those. My entire life was going to be swimming, and then, once I could no longer compete, I was opening my own swim school. After a couple of years of coaching under my belt, the plan was to start training professional athletes until I could join the Olympic coaching team. The accident was a very traumatic and eye-opening experience for me, so most of those plans ended up getting changed and modified over the years.

“What about you?” Jimin asked, pulling up to the curb.

“I went through an accelerated program at UCCS. Just graduated with my Masters in Athletic Training back in April.”

Neither one of us seemed to be ready to break the bubble we created. Even if we were just talking about school, it felt too intimate to leave. Holding hands in my car was new and I was worried if I opened the car door all of this would turn out to be a dream. The date, the confession; all of it.

“I should get going,” Jimin sighed, still not moving his hand from mine. “It’s late and I have to drive home.”

I was the first one to move away. He was right. It was almost midnight and I had a really difficult time tonight. All of that yelling really took a toll on me. Jimin did not move until he heard the click of my seatbelt unfastening.

“See you tomorrow?” He asked when I rounded the car. Getting out of the car, he held the door open as I slid inside. “I know we were out later than we thought we’d be.”

I nodded, “We can have a late morning. 8:30 instead of 6.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

He closed my car door and jogged to his truck. It was parked in the driveway today. I pressed the button to roll my window down.

“Drive safe!” I called out.

Looking over his shoulder, Jimin grinned and threw a hand up. I watched him climb into Fiona and tried to keep myself from worrying too much. It was so dark outside and he could be exhausted behind the wheel. Who knows what could happen to him.

He caught me staring and waved at me again. I returned it with a small smile. The truck stopped for a second and his phone was his hand. My cell phone vibrated in the cupholder.

Jimin: I’ll be okay

Jimin: Text you when I get home, k?

Looking back at the truck, I found him already looking at me. I nodded my response. He smiled at me again, waved, before finally backing out of the driveway. I did not move until I could no longer see his truck in my rearview. My phone buzzed one more time.

Jimin: At the stop sign on Woodland and Ann Arbor-Saline

Jimin: Go home. I’m here. I’m fine.

I hesitated texting him back when I knew he was driving, but decided that I would just have to trust he would not open it until it was safe.

Me: Get out of my head, kid

Finally putting my car in drive, I threw my phone back in its spot and made the ten minute drive down the road to the Anderson house. All of the lights were off when I pulled up and I was as quiet as a mouse walking to the backyard.

I was beyond tired but still needed to get my nighttime routine done. Stripping out of my clothes, I turned on the shower and took off my makeup. Tonight wasn’t a wash night, so I was not in the shower for long. I heard my phone vibrating as I put on lotion and I quickly threw on a night shirt and went to my bedroom.

Jimin: Who says you aren’t in mine, meemaw

Jimin: I’m home now so you can get some sleep

Jimin: Night, geezer

I snorted. That was a new one. Crawling into bed, I got comfortable under my blankets and thought about a good comeback.

Me: Thank you

Me: Geezer? That’s such an geriatric thing to say, you whippersnapper

Jimin: LOL night 🫰🏼

Me: Night 🌜

I quick sent Taehyung a text to make sure he and Milo go home safely before putting my phone on the charger. Jungkook sent a text to our group chat an hour ago to let us know he was in his apartment back in Detroit. He was in Ann Arbor so often since Darcy lived out here, but he had bought a multi-million dollar home in Corktown when was first signed to the Red Wings in 2019. Milo was the one to reply to my text, signing his name at the bottom, since Taehyung passed out in the car on their way back home.

I took my medications and started up a game of solitaire while I waited for them to kick in. My psychologist had sent me to Michigan with a three month supply. I was planning my first trip back next week so I could see the boys in time for their first big competition of the season. While I was in town, I would pick up another three month supply. We were making the arrangements work as best as we could, and I was lucky I had a large group of people willing to support me during this transition.

Finally I felt the sleeping pills kicking in and I went to my white noise app. I hated falling asleep in silence and Emery had suggested the app while we were in a session. I paid for a yearly subscription and never regretted the fifty bucks. It had been a huge help in lulling me to bed.

Lights out and blankets wrapped snugly around my body, I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened. Jimin liked me back, asked me on a date, and told all of his friends about his infatuation with me before I even realized something else was going on. I was his dream girl. That put a lazy smile on my face. Then, I could no longer think about anything and was plunged into a dreamless sleep.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae @adventures-in-bookland

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lanawinterscigarettes · 10 months ago

Note

Greetings, hope you're having a great day. If it's okay may I please request a Missy×Reader where the reader is a UNIT agent and is hypnotised by Missy and then kidnapped, Missy then decides to hypnotise you (with your consent) and maybe try sexual Hypnosis..

If you're not comfortable then please ignore this.

hey anon! this didn't make me uncomfortable at all, so no worries. please enjoy <3

Pay Attention (Missy/Gomez! Master x reader)

Warnings: swearing, hypnotism (both nonconsensual and consensual), kidnapping, (somewhat) soft Missy, light smut, inappropriate uses of hypnotism/mind control, reader is gender neutral (nothing below the belt is specified one way or the other)

You should've been paying more attention.

You weren't stupid, you knew it wasn't wise of you to walk home late at night, but your paperwork had been piling up all week and you finally decided to do it all in one go instead of continuing to put it off. Unfortunately, that meant that you'd both be working late and miss carpooling home.

But your place wasn't that far from the sector you worked at, so surely you'd be fine as long as you took some pepper spray and payed close attention to your surroundings.

Not even halfway on your walk did you start to get this uneasy feeling, like you were being watched. Shaking it off, you continued on your way, convincing yourself it was just your nerves.

Shortly after that, however, you thought you heard what sounded like a pair of heels clacking, almost as if someone was walking behind you. You stopped several times, looking all around, but each time there was no one there.

You were almost convinced that you were making it all up. No one was following you, that would be crazy. You told yourself that you were just tired, and that it'd be something you'd laugh over the next day.

Until you turned onto your street, and stopped paying attention to your surroundings momentarily so you could dig your house keys out of your pocket. You were so caught up in trying to get them out you didn't even notice the woman standing in front of you until you bumped into her, quite literally.

"Oh- I'm so sorry, are you okay? I didn't mean to bump into you, I- I must not have seen you there," you quickly apologized, followed by nervous laughter.

The woman let out a chuckle herself, though it didn't seem nearly as lighthearted as a normal person's would be. "It's quite alright, dear. In fact, could you do me a favor and look at me for a moment?"

You frowned slightly, not sure where this was going. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh, you will be, believe me." The woman took a step closer, the light from a nearby lamp shining over her like she was god sent, but she was no angel. It was only then that you became aware of just who it was that you'd bumped into.

"The Mistress," you quietly breathed out in pure fear.

She laughed at your reaction to figuring out her identity. "Just Missy will do. Now, I think we really need to have a discussion about you looking where you're going, hm?"

You stumbled backwards a bit, dropping your keys in your attempt to search yourself for something on you that could possibly be used as a weapon, or at the very least a distraction so you could get away. It was then that you remembered you'd left your pepper spray in your desk drawer back at work.

"Shit," you muttered under your breath, your heart racing with adrenaline as you tried to look for some other way to escape.

"Now, now. That's not very polite, is it?" Missy chastised mockingly, backing you up to the brick wall of a nearby alley.

"What- what are you going to do to me?" You questioned meekly, trembling in fear.

"Don't worry about that right now. All I want you focusing on is my voice as you fall asleep." She grabbed your chin and brought your face upwards, forcing you to look into her eyes. "That's a good dear."

You tried to protest, but your voice died in your throat long before you could even get the words out. Obviously you must have passed out like she wanted you to, because when you finally regained consciousness you were seated in a plush armchair in the center of a dimly lit room.

"Mm... where... where am I?" You asked in a soft voice that was full of confusion.

"Don't worry about that." Missy's voice cut through the room in a way that was not entirely unpleasant. She was sitting in a similar plush armchair across from yours.

"What do you want from me? If you think that I know anything about what UNIT is planning, then I can assure you that I don't. I'm just an office worker." You were sure you must have sounded at least the tiniest bit pathetic, but honestly, who wouldn't in a situation like this?

Missy laughed in response to your words. "I'm not stupid, dear. I know that you're not a field agent. And while, yes, my initial plan was to kidnap one of those, I couldn't help the way I felt so... drawn to you."

You gulped in fear, something that did not go unnoticed by the woman sitting in front of you. "I'm not going to kill you, if that's what you're wondering. I'm honestly a little offended that you would think so, though I suppose I can't blame you."

She almost looked sad for a minute there, but you quickly pushed away that thought. It wasn't the brightest in the room you were in, therefore it was probably just a trick of the light.

"Wait, so- if you're not going to kill me, and you don't want to use me as a way to gain access to UNIT secrets... then why am I here?"

Missy sighed in exasperation before pinching the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb. "You're really not the brightest, are you? It's no wonder you're just an office worker."

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment, and you opened your mouth to protest before she spoke again, cutting off whatever you were going to say.

"I merely want to spend some time with you, that's all." She smoothed out the front of her dress as she spoke. "I knew you would never just voluntarily go with me, as there was no doubt you'd seen what I look like."

It was true, you never would've stuck around long enough to figure out what she wanted had she not hypnotized then kidnapped you. Still, she could at the very least been less hostile about it.

"Regardless of why you're here-" she continued on "-you're here now, and I would like to spend this time getting to know you."

You couldn't tell if she was being sincere, or if this was just another one of her tricks. "What's the catch?" You questioned suspiciously.

Missy simply shrugged. "There's no catch. Although-"

"Oh, here we go," you muttered under your breath as you slouched back in your seat.

"-there's been this theory I've had regarding my abilities that I've been simply dying to try out." Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she looked at you. "Of course, I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. Otherwise I would've secured you much more thoroughly," she reassured while gesturing to your chair.

This was your chance to get away, you thought. All you had to do was get up and leave. Even if it was a trap and she was lying about letting you go, at least you could say you tried.

But there was something about her words and the way she hadn't gone out of her way to hurt you that made you want to believe her. Not to mention she was incredibly attractive and could be quite charming, all things considered.

"What's your theory?"

Missy gave you a pleased smile as she stood and slowly made her way over to you. "The theory, my dear, involves controlling the parts of the mind that are responsible for the body's reaction to pleasure." She leaned towards you, reaching out one of her hands to lightly trail along the side of your face. "Do you understand?"

You shivered in anticipation when she touched you, knowing exactly what she was getting at. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. This'll make it a bit easier for you, then." She retracted her hand and knelt down in front of you, placing both of her hands on the armrests of the chair on either side of you. Even though she was essentially trapping you in, you didn't have the same uneasy feeling like you had when she'd done the same thing to you in the alley.

"Try to relax. Take a deep breath if you need to," she recommended in a soothing tone as she began to use her hypnotism on you.

You did as she said, inhaling and exhaling until your breathing was deep and steady. It helped calm you like she guessed it would, but you had no doubt the hypnotism also leant a helping hand in making you feel that way.

"Let me know if you want me to stop." Before you could respond, you felt a sudden jolt of pleasure rush through your body. You arched your back as the feeling settled over you like a warm blanket, being the most prevelant in the area below your belt and between your thighs.

"M- Missy," you cried softly as your hands went to grip tightly onto the armrests of your chair. She placed her hands over yours, holding them in a firm yet gentle way.

"Does that feel good, dear? Do you enjoy the sense of power I hold over you? Hm?" Her questions were obviously meant to be rhetorical as it was becoming more and more difficult for you to focus on anything except the way she was making you feel.

Your body began to tremble as the feeling became much more intense, drawing soft gasps and moans from you. It was nothing like you'd ever felt before, not even in your wildest dreams.

You must have started to close your eyes some, because you heard Missy tsk at you in disapproval. "Keep your eyes open, darling. I want you to pay attention to me now the same way you should've been paying attention to your surroundings on your walk home."

Nodding your head at her command, you did your best to keep your eyes open, trying not to let yourself get swept so far away in your feelings of pleasure that you forgot about who was giving them to you in the first place. "I'm sorry," you mumbled an apology, to which Missy just laughed.

"What a good little pet you are for me." She leaned in close and whispered sensually in your ear. "I don't think we'll have any problems here as long as you give all of your attention to me, and no one else. Understood?"

You nodded again, and she pressed a light kiss to your neck in response, something that sent your senses into overdrive. "Good. Now, I want to see just how loud you can moan for me."

Maybe not paying attention wasn't the worst thing in the world, just as long as you never did it to your new favorite Time Lady.

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ilyregulus · 3 months ago

Text

Lay All Your Love On Me – Jegulus

summary: regulus gets drunk at a party and confess his feelings to james at a karaoke

warnings: underage driking, sexual talk and mentions of sex (but no actual sex). i guess that's all

word count: 2k

notes: just a random thought i had while listening to abba and got carried away. as always, sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language and i hope you like it :)

Regulus was not happy to be present at a Gryffindor party, to be honest there were methods of torture he would enjoy more. Being surrounded by happy and loud people was like living hell but if there's one thing Regulus would do, it was walk through hell for those he loved, so there he was: at a noisy and sweaty Gryffindor party, because Dorcas asked him to.

There were not a lot of people who he loved, but Dorcas Meadowes was certainly one of them. She had been dating Marlene for a while now and thought it was a good idea to bring their groups together, so now they all had to go to the same idiot party, because apparently it was a really fun idea. Regulus couldn't disagree more, infact, it took a really long time for her, Barty and Evan to convince him of going, but again, he would do a lot for his friends so eventually he said yes.

"Think about the pros of being here, Reg" Dorcas said to him "You can watch James for a whole night or maybe more than just watch this time"

"I really hate that I told you about that" he rolled his eyes as if his crush weren't obvious for everyone who knew him.

"Stop being so grumpy" she protest while grabbing his arms "C'mon, let's get you a drink"

"Fine, guess I'll need it to survive this night anyway" Regulus followed her.

He was already on his third drink when he decided to lean against the wall to avoid being so surrounded by the amount of people who seemed to not know what personal space was. He knew it was a party, but do people really need to be that close to each other?

And that was when their eyes met.

James was charming, to say the least, because Regulus thought much more of him. He thought about the way those stupid Gryffindor colors seemed to light James' skin or about the way he desperately wanted to crave his fingers on his strong arms or how it felt to kiss his lips. There was so much Regulus thought about doing with James that he even felt ridiculous about it.

Sure, he knew James was always full of himself and acting like he was a damn king, which was kind of annoying sometimes but oh...to Regulus he really was a king and how he would give to be ruled by him.

"You know..." Barty started saying, catching Regulus, who didn't even noticed when he got there, by surprise "you don't need to just keep staring"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"We are all friends now and well, you and Potter had already talked a lot of times"

It was almost funny to him how his friends thought this was simple, sure they talked a few times but it was just some casual chatting because Regulus knew how to be polite when he wanted to and they were all really trying to have a good relationship so that’s not like he was going to ignore James when they bumped into each other but it was not that easy, what was he supposed to do? Go out there and simply declare he was obsessed with the idea of kissing him?

"I'm not talking to him" was what he answered.

"Well, too bad for you cause he is coming that way, and must I add, he does look hot"

Regulus knew that Barty said that last sentence in the kindest and friendliest way possible, he had absolutely no reason to worry or be jealous of him because he knew his best friend was crazy about his boyfriend Evan, but still he felt like jealousy was eating him alive because even though Barty wouldn't try to steal James from him anyone else could, and the thought of someone getting near those muscles and that flirty smile that were supposed to be his was driving him crazy.

“Enjoying the party?” James kindly asked when he approached him.

“Yeah, sure” Regulus said, taking a sip of his drink.

“You don't talk much, do you Black?” his last name looked incredible on those lips, it felt like James had just resignified it, and Regulus could kill to hear him saying it again but with a raspy voice and in bed this time.

“I guess not” he was actually feeling a little shy which was weird because he never felt like that.

“Well, you should because I like talking to you” and when he said that he sounded kinda flirty so Regulus was probably imagining things, right?

“Ok.. so what do you wanna talk about?” oh he was failing so miserably at this it felt embarrassing.

“What music do you like?”

“Classic ones that I can play on piano” he thought he was imagining things when he saw James looking at his hands but then he answered like it was a really normal thing to say.

“You play piano? That’s nice and what else do those pretty hands do?”

Regulus almost choked on his drink.

Those words sounded so dirty in his ears that he felt his entire body shiver, and who knew James Potter was that naughty? And what did that meant? Because Regulus knew that James and his friends flirted as a joke so was that a joke? Was that James' way of showing they were now friends? Or was this his way of showing that they could be more? That he also wanted to feel Regulus' hands exploring his body like the temple it was? Because Regulus sure wanted that but how would he know what James meant if he didn't have the balls to ask?

“Guess you have to find out” he said with all the courage he had inside of, trying his best to sound sexy but at the same time like it could be a joke so this way he could play safe.

James' eyes went from Regulus’ eyes to his hands and then stopped a little on his mouth before going back to meet his eyes again and Regulus swore he saw lust on them. He knew that boy was going to be the end of him.

“Do you have someone?” James asked as he gently ran his finger over the open space in Regulus' shirt upon his chest. But Regulus Black couldn't give in like that, it would be so pathetic of him.

“What do you mean?” Regulus said trying to act normal with what was happening.

“Well, all your best friends are dating and I noticed that you sometimes escape in the middle of the night but I’ve never really seen you with someone else so I was wondering” he explained.

“Oh…no, I'm only committed to smoking.” he kinda laughed and James thought that might be sexy to watch, but he kept that to himself which was a shame because Regulus would love to have heard that.

“I'm not seeing anyone either and in case you want to know ABBA’s my favorite band” and with that he left, leaving Regulus with a smirk.

How could he do that and why would Regulus give a fuck about ABBA right now? James was torturing him and it was definitely not in the way he wanted him to.

He was about to go nuts because he has just flirted with James fucking Potter but then was left behind like it meant nothing and feeling completely out of system while James was already having fun with a group of boys who Regulus recognised some from quidditch.

“I may or may not have overheard a few things and I think you might need this” Barty said, giving him a glass of firewhisky which he thanked and quickly asked for more.

“C'mon Regulus” said Evan “you can't just keeping getting drunk without doing nothing about it, the boy clearly wants you”

“And why hasn't he said that or made a fucking move himself?”

“Because you can be scary as fuck, Black” Barty added “and if even I think that imagine the smiley little Potter”

“I bet there's nothing little about him” he thought out loud.

“For fuck sakes Regulus, go find out” Barty sounded impatient.

But how would he even do that? James was surrounded by his teammates and Regulus was not going to get there and take him by his shirt, kissing him in the middle of everyone. Although he would really like that. So while he took another shot of firewhisky he decided to do what anyone else would (except that he was fucking drunk by now and no one else would do that).

He went to the middle of the party and took the microphone that Marlene and Remus had just finished using and got on top of a table so he could be sure James was looking at him. And with all eyes on him Regulus mentally thanked for all the times his own friends and brother danced to ABBA and started to sing and as weird as it seems he felt like the lyrics were written by him.

"I wasn't jealous before we met, now every man that I see is a potential threat. And I'm possessive, it isn't nice, you've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice. But now it isn't true, now everything is new and all I've learned, has overturned, I beg of you. Don't go wasting your emotion...Lay all your love on me"

Even though his body couldn't move not even a little bit, Regulus sang all the words like he was meaning them with all his truth and James seemed to get that because since he got on that table the boy couldn't take his eyes of him and he was looking with such an adoration, loving every single second of it that Regulus felt embraced by confidence and desire.

"It was like shooting a sitting duck, a little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck. I still don't know what you've done with me, a grown-up man* should never fall so easily. I feel a kind of fear, when I don't have you near. Unsatisfied. I skip my pride. I beg you dear. Don't go wasting your emotion. Lay all your love on me. Don't go sharing your devotion...Lay all your love on me."

By that time James was already jumping on the table to sing with him and Regulus felt like he was confessing everything he ever wanted though the music. Because that was it, he didn't want James to share his devotion, he wanted to be worshiped by him every day, to have the word "mine" being said by James' lips and to be the one to whom he would give all his dirty looks. He wanted the lust and he wanted the love and he wanted this to be with James because there was no other man who could light a dark room with his smile.

When the song ended James had his hands on each side of Regulus' waist, their face just inches from touching and everyone in the room was a mix of shock and applause.

“So what was that about?” James asked softly.

“I guess it was my way of telling you that I really want you to find out what else my pretty hands can do” he said loud enough for only James to hear.

“Can I kiss you first?” one of his hands was now holding Regulus' face.

“In front of everyone? Are you crazy?”

“You were the one who told me to lay all my love on you and blah blah blah…so can I?”

In Regulus defense his was drunk as hell and there's only so far a man can handle, when it came to James that wasn't much because he felt like he was already melting on his hand, so Regulus counted on everyone else to be as drunk as he was to not care about it that much and nodded in a yes.

And when James' lips touched his he felt like all the embarrassment he had just passed was worth it. He would do it all over again if he needed to because for James there was nothing Regulus wouldn't do.

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pumpkin-bats · 4 months ago

Text

Dress Up - Straw Hats Fic

[Small fic of the Straw Hat crew shenanigans.]

a/n: A prompt my friend said in passing and it possessed me. My first fic on tumblr and I hope it's okay- please enjoy our wonderful silly pirates!

summary: A few of the Straw Hat members crash a party in disguise for a chance at winning a prize. They just so happen to all be crossdressing. And Luffy is incredibly dense.

contains: Annoying flirting attempts, sfw topics, crossdressing, mention of chest area, especially Zoro's, post 2 year time skip, mostly from Nami's perspective.

wc: 2.5+k

Let it be known that Nami's not a gold digger. That being said, three hundred million berries was three hundred million berries.

The Straw Hat crew was originally just passing by. A little pit stop for supplies before they got to the next nightmare island Luffy wanted to take them to. They didn't tend to dawdle too long in places their adventurous captain found boring.

At least, that's usually the case. Now they have other plans, if Nami has any say in the matter. And she has a lot to say about the matter.

Apparently some rich geezer in the fancier part of town was hosting a party for his rich geezer friends. According to the intel she gathered when out shopping, they have a tradition of playing a game with a cash reward for the winner. From what she could tell, it seemed more like a gathering to bet and gamble than anything else, but the prize was real.

The only catch was the guest list. A list that excluded people not friends with said rich geezer. People such as, politely speaking, crazy pirates. And she'd checked, their wanted posters had been pinned up around all areas of the town they've stopped at. Hence why only a small team went out to get supplies while they left the more energetic and easily recognizable members to wait back on the ship.

So her first solution was to get some disguises.

"Why are we doing this again?" Usopp tugged lightly at the bunched fabric climbing over his collar bone. There was clear distaste in his expression but Nami paid it no mind as she slapped his hand away to fasten a thin, glittering chain around his neck.

"Because the only group not going to that party just so happens to look a lot like us." She adjusted the necklace and brushed a few curls out of the way before stepping back to admire her work.

"That's great and all... but do we really have to go dressed like... this?" Usopp gestured at his outfit, to which Nami gave him a merciless smile.

"We have to be convincing right?"

As she said this, her fingers flit into the air to reveal a small photo. She'd managed to get her hands on it a few hours prior, and it's the backbone of her plan. There were six people posed in the photo, dressed to the nines and clearly part of some noble's inner circle.

She tapped one perfectly manicured nail at a striking woman in a sleek crimson dress. The lush black curls framed her face perfectly, looking soft despite the grain of the photo. All of it gave the impression of a powerful, gorgeous person ready to rule, even with the outlandishly long nose at the center of her face.

"I'm not doing this," Zoro growled, hands crossed over his chest. At least, he attempts to. He was clearly having difficulties trying to rest his arms on top of the feathered boa draped over his bare shoulders, the garment falling down his front to stop just above his waist.

For the rest of the boys, she had to add extra padding to give the illusion of a well endowed chest. Therefore, Nami found great amusement in the fact that Zoro's dress was completely unaltered on the top.

"Oh please. You look great!" She tightened the bow around her collar and brushed off the front of her jacket. "Besides, you still owe me five hundred million berries. consider this a chance to pay off a tenth of it."

"Wha- you-! Oi, the number went up! it was less than that last time!"

"Sure, but that's because you forgot about the interest." She stuck her tongue out at him playfully, meeting her thumb and forefinger in a small circle to finish off her signature money pose.

"Unbelievable..."

"These people do bear a striking resemblance to us," Robin noted, taking the photo into her gloved hand to further observe it.

This was the main reason Nami suggested they do this. Every person in the photo looked almost exactly like some member of their crew except in the opposite gender. Since there was a lack of lookalikes for Chopper, Brooke, and Franky, she had to ask them to stay behind for a little while.

Although, considering her plan included Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy, she would have to keep a tight leash on them if she wanted even the slightest chance at winning the prize money. But she had a feeling that it would be worth it in the end. Besides, a part of her was extremely curious to see what they'd all look like cross dressing and so far she wasn't disappointed. Sue her, Nami deserved to have some fun of her own every now and then.

"Ah... Of course I'd do anything for you, Nami-Swan- but uh...." Sanji's face was twisted like he was in pain. She knew he didn't have the most fun on the island of okama, and was quite proud that he was still willing to go through this for her despite that. And she couldn't deny that he really did look flattering in the long, skin tight, black dress he wore.

"You look lovely Sanji-kun." Is all Robin needed to say to have Sanji twirling around and forgetting all of his hesitation. Zoro, on the other hand, was still less than pleased.

"Shouldn't Luffy be done by now?" Usopp chimed in again, casting his gaze at the outhouse they'd gathered around to change. Before Nami got a chance to reply, the door promptly smashed to the ground.

Luffy lowered one, pencil thin heeled shoe from where it hovered in the air, likely the culprit for the decimated door. A soft 'fufufu' echoed from Robin as the group took in the appearance of their captain in a genuine attempt at looking like a girl. And not a single soul had words to speak.

Despite the deep, drooping frown, Luffy was more dazzling than anyone expected.

His legs had no hair and were virtually unblemished. Because of this, Nami thought it would be safe to put him in a deep, wine red dress that ended mid thigh. The top was loosely ruffled to detract from his broader shoulders, and the resulting illusion was a powerful one. Even the wig Robin styled, paired with the light makeup, made him look almost unrecognizable.

Sanji simply stared, mouth slightly agape, which allowed his cigarette to fall from his lips and land mutely on the ground. Zoro's mouth was locked shut but his eyes were blown wide enough to pop. Usopp blinked a few times before holding his hands up in the air.

"I concede. I won't doubt your black magic transformation skills anymore."

The grin that crept onto Nami's face was wicked. They were so getting that money.

Nami was very aware of the type of attention she garnered when entering a room. Sure she was part of the self proclaimed 'weak trio' in her crew, but she knew her charms, strengths, and skills, as well as how to use them to her advantage. One thing she'd learned over the years is that there's nothing more eye-catching than confidence.

It's because of this that she was immediately able to read the energy of the room the second she and her friends entered the party.

Now, when people first hear stories of Luffy, they assume that his presence is large and commanding. A powerhouse echoing magnificence with every step he takes. But only those who really know him understand how easy it is to let him slip under the radar. Or lose him in a crowd, in her personal experience. All in all, he was quite unintentionally deceptive in that way- though it proved helpful in many of their adventures. However, this... this was not one of those times.

As they walked through the threshold, it was like watching moths become ensnared by a beacon of light. Every eye in the room glazed over the crew to settle on their captain. Nami's never been on the outside of this scenario and she'd be lying if she said it wasn't an enthralling sight.

Luffy entered the way Luffy enters any room. Casually, confidently, and with some degree of a goal in mind as he moved forward. All these traits flared off his skirt and flickered from the ends of his curled wig. Every clack of his heels on the tile was a booming echo and the curve of his shoulders had the eye of almost every man and woman in the vicinity.

Nami would be tucking this information into her back pocket for future plans.

Their group was quick to separate, sticking in pairs to help reduce any unexpected, and frankly unhelpful, outbursts from any of the more... rambunctious members. Robin kept to Sanji, Usopp with Zoro, and Nami with Luffy.

From what she'd understood during her information gathering, the game would be a sort of trivia. She had no doubt that they wouldn't fly through with flying colors, especially when working alongside Robin and Usopp. The concern was making sure the remaining three didn't blow their cover before they could even get to that point.

So here Nami found herself at one of the fancy tables, decorated in the poshest way possible with gold ornaments and jewel studded dishware. All items she would absolutely find a way to sneak back to the ship before they left. Luffy sat beside her, arms crossed over his chest and an ever present pout on his face.

"I'm hungry," he grits out, leveling a blazing glare out at the dance floor. "And these clothes are uncomfortable."

"I promised you a big meal after this, didn't I?" Nami replied calmly. He sank further into his chair, blowing a silky black strand of hair out of his face.

"Meat?"

"And more."

"Hm."

Nami can't help chuckling at her captain. He was an adult and more reliable than he looked, but he certainly had his own childish moments. A part of her was touched that he also agreed to go along with her whims for this, even though it went against almost everything in his nature. Wild Luffy, sitting quiet and polite. And in a dress at that.

As she swirled a flute of champagne, pitching it up to take a sip, she was quick to catch sight of a finely dressed man making his way over to their table.

She set the cup back down and rested her chin gingerly atop her hand. Recognizing the look on his face and having experienced this one too many times before, she prepared herself to play the man like a fiddle. He looked like a fellow with money in his pockets, surely she could snatch his wallet while he was preoccupied. Then she belatedly realized that she wasn't 'Catburgalar Nami' in that moment. Because Luffy was not 'Monkey D. Luffy' in that moment either.

"Lord Geraldine." The man gave Nami a brief tilt of his head before immediately redirecting glittering eyes on a displeased looking Luffy. "Lady Celestine, I'm glad to see you all decided to attend. I wanted to say that there's something... different about you today."

It took Luffy a moment to realize the man was talking to him. He blinked up at the guy, pointed at himself, looked at Nami, then looked back at him.

"Uh, yes. I mean no." Nami pressed her face into her hand. She also forgot that Luffy can't act for the life of him.

"No, I do quite insist that you seem a little different." As he spoke, the man bowed at the waist to be more on level with her captain before gently taking a lock of Luffy's fake hair in his hand. "Could it be a new style you're trying out? A new perfume perhaps?"

"I don't wear perfume," Luffy stated bluntly. Nami began to reach out to him, thinking of something to say to step in and distract the man before they were discovered.

"Ah, I see." Luffy's eyes met the man's and Nami swore she saw him shiver. "Your natural beauty is just extra dazzling then."

"Er... sure?" Luffy lifted a hand to scratch at the back of his neck where the line if his wig dug into his skin. The man followed the line of his arm and the fluttering movement of his hair. Nami can't tell if she wanted to laugh or cry.

"You know... I've never dared to speak to you. I didn't see any reason to before but, I don't know what I was thinking then. Someone as... enchanting as you- how could I not?" There's almost the whisper of a sigh to his voice and Luffy's expression twisted into a frown.

"I am not," he bit out, throwing the man off guard entirely. The stranger reeled back, although his face colored a deep red at the power and authority in Luffy's voice.

"I apologize if I've offended you. I just wanted to-"

"You're annoying. Go away." And with that, Luffy returned to his previous demeanor of pouting in his chair with his arms crossed, glaring out at the dance floor. Except now there was an extra air of irritation around him that wasn't there before.

"Oh... I... yes, Lady Celestine. Sorry to have been a bother." The man stumbled for a moment before scuttling away. Rather than looking upset, he seemed awfully pleased with himself in a way that made even Nami's mood sour just a bit.

Once he was gone, Nami snapped out of her daze to look at Luffy. She wasn't sure what to expect when coming to this party, but that interaction was not it. Not to mention he turned on the man so suddenly, she can't determine what part of that speech had set him off.

"What was that about?" She asked, leaning into her palm.

"He called me enchanting," he spat out, making Nami blink. There's something she's missing here, she knows it.

"What's so bad about that?" She didn't flinch when his eyes snapped over to meet hers. The hostility wasn't directed at her, but he was clearly upset for some reason.

"I'm not enchanting."

There's definitely something here that she's missing. He said it with such force and venom that it made the word sound evil. But this was Luffy she was speaking too, and there's likely more to it than just what the surface was showing. So she tried a different approach.

"Mhm, and what do you think 'enchanting' means?"

Now it's Luffy's turn to look at her with slight confusion. His expression eased, shoulders losing a bit of their tension while his expression screamed that she was the weird one in this moment.

"It means rich and weak!"

Ah, there it is.

Nami decided in that moment that she may just try to steal the money later after she finds out who ends up winning it. Especially when she sees another nobleman waltzing over to their table with a carnation in hand. There was no way she was going to stop a line of suitors from interacting with Luffy before he eventually snapped.

And maybe she'll get a chance to explain to him what the word 'enchanting' means. After she finds out what word he possibly mixed it up with in the first place.

{Fin.} Thanks for reading!

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #black leg sanji #god usopp #roronoa zoro #cat burglar nami #nico robin #luffy #one piece luffy #one piece fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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soaringthroughthegalaxy · 11 months ago

Note

Hi. I'm also here to help with the operation brain cleanse. 😂 How about some angst with Crosshair x f! reader with the prompt: “It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…” Everyone is in Pabu and Cross is trying to get over everything he's been through. Reader tries to help him, but he pushes her away. Feeling terrible about his actions, he goes to talk to her.

Hello lovely! Thank you for this, I've been enjoying writing Cross recently 🥰

To Be Cared For

After successfully rescuing Crosshair, Tech, and Omega from Mount Tantiss, you settle down with the Batch on Pabu to live out the rest of your lives. But it’s not an easy transition for the sharpshooter after everything he’s been through.

Pairing: Crosshair x F!reader (could be taken as platonic or romantic)

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: angst, whump, care and comfort, Cross struggles with feelings but he’s trying, reader is understanding, soft!Cross, hopeful ending.

The water laps against the dock, the calm waves contrasting to the roaring ones Crosshair had grown used to on Kamino. Everything on Pabu is far more peaceful than anything he’s ever experienced. It’s a little unnerving, as is how his brothers have adapted so quickly to civilian life.

Guilt churns in his gut, uncomfortable and insistent. It wasn’t so easy for him – he couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t been the Empire’s lapdog, that he hadn’t pulled the trigger on innocent civilians and chased his family halfway across the galaxy in an attempt to get them to join him. It didn’t matter that his chip had still been in, that he’d been surprised to learn – when coming to in the small clinic on the island – that he’d been rescued from Tantiss and subsequently de-chipped.

He’d still done terrible things.

And yet you kept trying to convince him it was okay.

Crosshair scowls, and this time it’s not just from the blazing sunshine that would be crippling his eyes if it weren’t for your thoughtfulness. He lifts a hand, pushing the dark sunglasses you’d gifted him back up his nose.

You didn’t deserve how he’d spoken to you an hour ago. How he’d snapped and pushed you away.

You were only trying to help.

Pushing up onto his feet, Crosshair sighs. He owes you an apology; while he loathes giving them, he’ll make an exception for you.

He’ll always make an exception for you.

With the sun high in the sky, he sticks to the shadows where possible, offering tight but polite smiles to other island residents that he passes. They’d been apprehensive of him at first, giving him a wide berth, gossiping about him. But you’d worked your charm on them all, squashed the gossip, and insisted he was a good man.

So much for that. Crosshair’s jaw clenches as he remembers the pain that had lanced your features as he spat hurtful words at you earlier. He wasn’t angry at you but at himself, and instead of examining that more closely, he’d lashed out.

The walk back to the house you’d all been gifted by the Mayor felt longer than usual, but he knew it was only because he dreaded what he’d find. Maker above, if Wrecker found out how mean he’d been. Kriff, if Hunter found out…

They were all protective of you. Rightfully so. You’d been with them since their first outing into the field, liaising with Command and procuring anything they needed. You were so good to them and had become family somewhere along the way. He knows his brothers love you dearly. He loves you dearly.

As usual, the front door is unlocked – such a tight-knit community means petty crime is a thing of the past – and Crosshair steps inside. Shoes left at the door, he pries his sunglasses off, placing them on the small table nearby and giving his eyes a moment to adjust. His vision has been less than stellar lately, lights blinding him more than usual. It’s concerning, but he doesn’t want to dwell on it. It’s not like they need a sharpshooter on this peaceful little island anyway.

Noise from the kitchen gives him a direction, and his feet carry him towards it. Standing by the counter, you’re wielding a knife, carving a huge slice from the cake you baked last night. Crosshair lingers at the door, steeling himself.

“I know you’re there.” You comment, sliding the slice of cake onto a plate. Although your boys were silent, years at their side had helped you develop a sixth sense for when they were close by.

Your voice doesn’t carry any anger, just a calm acknowledgement of his presence. Crosshair takes a deep breath and steps into the kitchen, brows drawn down, eyes focused on you as you set the knife down and turn to face him.

“Hey.” You say, not at all surprised to see Crosshair in the room. The tension is palpable. “We need to talk.” You cut to the chase.

Crosshair nods, running a hand through the fuzz on his head, his hair starting to grow back. “Yeah, we do.” An uncomfortable feeling settles in his gut, but he pushes it aside. He didn’t like talking at the best times, but there was no escaping this. You deserved an apology, and he’d give it to you.

You motion for him to sit at the kitchen table, and he does so silently, moving aside the crayons and drawings Omega had been working on earlier that morning. As you join him, the air is heavy with unspoken words, pushing the cake plate towards him. It’s a peace offering, a simple gesture with more weight than words.

“I’m sorry.” Crosshair starts, his gaze fixed on the cake in front of him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.” He states. “You don’t deserve any of that. I know you’re trying to help. I’m just…” He lets out a low huff, eyes flitting up from the cake to find your face. “Just too stubborn.” He finishes the thought.

You lean back in your chair, studying him for a moment. Apologies were new to him, and you knew they took a lot out of him. It meant the galaxy to you that he acknowledged he was in the wrong and was taking steps to fix it. “I appreciate the apology, thank you.” You tell him sincerely. “I’m used to your stubbornness, though, Cross. I’ve spent years with you. But I also know you’re going through a lot.” You continue, leaning in to rest your elbows on the table. “But you’re not alone. We’re here for each other.” You remind him gently, understanding that it’s hard for him to accept after everything.

Guilt shines in his eyes for a moment, tinged with disbelief before he resigns himself with a sigh. “I keep thinking about all the things I did. The people I hurt. I can’t just forget it.”

You reach across the table, sliding your hand over his. “You don’t have to forget, Cross. But you can choose to be better. We all can.”

He nods, appreciating the simplicity of your wisdom. For a moment, the weight on his shoulders feels a little lighter. Over the years, you’d slowly become his port of call when something bothered him, and sometimes, he didn’t even need to say anything for you to understand.

“I talked to Tech.” You continue, drawing your hand back. “He said your vision has been bothering you. Have you been to the clinic about it?”

Crosshair makes a mental note to chew out his twin. The whole point of him speaking to Tech had been not to bother you. “No. It’s nothing.” He plays it off with a shrug.

You raise an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Cross, your health is important.” You insist, slipping into the no-nonsense tone you know makes the boys prickle and pay attention.

It’s the least of his concerns right now, but he knows if he doesn’t do something about it, you won’t let it go. Conceding, he nods. “Fine. I’ll get it checked out.”

A small smile graces your lips. “Good. I’ll go with you.” You state, aware of his issues around clinics and medbays. All your boys hated them, hated the memories that surfaced whenever they went near them. You were more than willing to bring back some comfort and support.

Crosshair wants to protest and tell you not to worry, that he’ll be okay on his own, but the words die in his throat. Instead, gratitude curls through him. Head dipping, his gaze lands on the table. “It’s hard to get used to…” He murmurs.

“What is?” You ask, pushing a fork across the table to encourage him to eat. His appetite still wasn’t back, and he needed to regain a few extra pounds.

Fingers curling around the offered fork, those hawkish eyes of his flit up to meet your gaze. “Being someone that someone cares for.”

You pause, absorbing his words as your heart breaks. True, after everything that had happened, you could understand why he would feel that way, but it was so far from the truth. “Cross, you’ve always been someone worth caring for.”

He takes a tentative bite of the cake, the sweetness a balm to the bitter taste of regret in his mouth. The silence between you isn’t awkward; it’s a comfortable understanding, a shared acknowledgement of your struggles. “Mhm.” He replies quietly, focusing instead on the food.

“We all have our demons, Cross. The difference is that we’re facing them together again. You don’t have to carry the weight of what happened alone.” You remind him. He’d shared snippets of what had happened during his time with the Empire, and his nightmares that you’d eased him through had given you a little more information, but he hadn’t given any of you the whole story yet. There was no pressure, though. Crosshair had constantly reminded you of an abandoned tooka – needing a silent and steady presence before opening up.

His eyes meet yours, an unreadable mix of emotions in them. “I don’t know how you can forgive me so easily.”

You reach across the table, reassuringly squeezing his free hand again. “Because I know you. I know the man you are beyond the orders you were forced to follow. We all make mistakes; it’s how we grow from them that matters.”

Crosshair’s gaze softens, and he nods in understanding. He doesn’t feel like he deserves forgiveness – from you or his siblings – but he wants to work towards it.

“You’ve always been someone worth caring for, Cross. Don’t ever doubt that.” You tell him firmly, giving his hand another squeeze. Tentatively, he turns his hand, locking his fingers with your own, the fork and cake forgotten for now. For months, he’d gone without physical contact, without kind touches and care. It felt surreal to have that again.

He holds your gaze for a moment. The weight of the past still lingers, but there’s a shared understanding that healing takes time. The guilt hasn’t completely dissipated, but the acceptance from you, the willingness to face his demons together, is a balm to his wounded soul.

“I think we could all use a fresh start here, Cross.” You muse, eyes shifting to glance out the window towards the vast ocean expanse. “We can build something new together.” For you, civilian life would be easy – you’d had years of practice before the war broke out – but you could put those skills to good use and help your boys heal and flourish.

Crosshair gives a slight nod, appreciating the sentiment. It’s a lot to take in, the idea of a fresh start after everything that transpired, but he’s willing to try. He takes another bite of the cake, savouring the sweetness. While the journey ahead is uncertain, marked by the shadows of the past, the warmth of support from you and his siblings offers a glimmer of hope - redemption and a fresh start are finally within reach.

Tag list: @clonethirstingisreal @starrylothcat @cw80831 @dreamie411 @issa-me-bry-blog @leftealeaf

#Soarings Ask Box #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you #tbb x reader #tbb x you #bad batch x reader #bad batch x you #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #crosshair bad batch #bad batch crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair #ct 9904

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quills-of-freedom · 2 years ago

Text

Headcanons ~

Modern AU - How they'd react to seeing you working in a strip club (And they have feelings for you)

Inspired by... well me being an ex-stripper :')

Written as if reader is working there just for some extra cash, not as a living - it'll make sense why I noted this as it goes on.

Reiner - Porco - Eren - Levi

Some music to set the mood 🔥

Reiner

Reiner would never wander into a strip club on his own accord, either being dragged in during a bachelor party or doesn't realise what the establishment actually is. As much as he appreciates the female form, Reiner is too respectful and too much of a softy and a blushing mess.

Get this man some water please, for pity's sake. His face is flushed the entire time he's in there, his eye-line erratic as he avoids sights of thighs, asses, boobs and bare stomachs.

When the dancers come to talk to him for a private dance, he'll politely turn them down, his eyes glueing to theirs, his mouth dry and - oh gosh is he shaking?

He doesn't know it's you being called on stage because well, they use your stage name. But when the lights brighten slightly and he sees you - legit thinks he's been spiked for a moment and is seeing things.

His movements all stop, his lips part and his eyes enlarge when he realises this is actually happening.

"Oh, you like her?" The other girls will say. "She's great, you should get a dance from her."

Excuses himself and heads into the bathroom while you're on stage, splashing his face with cold water. Other patrons in the toilets laugh at him. "Yeah, it's tough out there, huh buddy?"

Once he hears applause he knows you're done and swiftly leaves. This is what gives him the incentive to confess his feelings for you and try to convince you to leave.

I know if Reiner Braun told me he loved me, I'd leave and never look back.

Porco

Porco loves to talk big and will laugh and "banter" with the "lads" but under the surface, he's a lot like Reiner and is pretty shy (at first) when it comes to intimacy.

He's respectful and will enjoy the attention of the dancers but I can't see him ever getting a private dance, if I'm honest.

He avoids his gaze like Reiner but isn't having mini panic attacks about it like his blonde friend.

When he sees you, he freezes and his nose burns pink but quickly regains his composure. He'll walk up to you and tell you to get changed, he's taking you home.

He hasn't drunk too much so he's okay to drive as he takes you towards his house.

"Porco, where are we -" "You should have just told me if you wanted some money." "It's not like that, I can make my own mon-" "We'll talk about it later."

You'll go to his where you have a long conversation into the night, where he admits his feelings for you and fucks you into his bed.

Oh god, I might turn this one into a fic...

Eren

I can't see Eren actively seeking out a "gentleman's" club, but he's not fussed about being in one either.

He turns down private dances politely. He'll have friendly conversations with the dancers but if they keep pushing for money he will turn mean.

He will get a dance if he is totalled though, but he'll sit with a blank face the entire time - unless he was my boyfriend, I don't think I would wanna dance for Eren tbh :')

Has no problem approaching you with a smirk when he sees you. "Woah, I didn't know you worked here. I'd be in every night."

Pays you to talk with him all night (he insists) to keep other men away from you and to warm you up for his confessions of feelings later. If any man stares, he'll shoot a warning look. If anyone is disrespectful, he will throw hands.

He stops drinking so he can take you home after your shift. He takes you to his, confesses his feelings, convinces you to stop and gives you the best sex of your life until you can no longer walk.

Levi

There's no way Levi would knowingly go into a club. Let alone a nude one. He's either been tricked or he wasn't aware. "Little black book...? I thought this was a fuckin' Library." "Levi... what library is open at 2am with thumping music?!"

Is not amused. DO NOT try to get a private dance. Oh god, he will make you cry if you try to.

Once he sees you, he'll snarl and straight up grab you and tell you to get changed, he's taking you home.

You have to beg the bouncers not to all leap onto him.

Scolds you, so bad. But explains it's only because he cares. It's not the profession it's the people it attracts.

Again, best sex of your life.

#reiner brainrot #reiner x you #snk x reader #reiner x reader #porco x reader #levi ackerman #levi smut #levi x you #eren jeager x reader #attack on titan eren #eren smut #eren jaeger

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mychlapci · 8 months ago

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I kind of like the idea of Sentinel's initial goal was not to become Magnus. He wanted to be a trophy conjunx.

He wanted to graduate the Elite Guard Academy as a MISS Degree (a thing in the US where you'd send your daughter to college to make her look better and but her near men going for acceptable professions to get a marriage). He met Elita who was actually the one who wanted to be Magnus. Sentinel fully supported this and was fully ready to rule "polite society" with an iron fist as a Elita's Trophy Husband and give her a whole litter of babies.

And then the trip happened. His dreams crumbled and he got an office job with Elita having set golden standard. He makes it his goal to become the Magnus's secretary and seduce him since no one else seems good enough but Ultra Magnus is a "confirmed bachelor".

RIP Sentinel's Sugar Baby dreams.

He's pissy and annoyed and depressed thinking about maybe since he's in politics finding the head of one of the guilds or a noble. Except everyone keeps assuming HE is the one going to settle down with a "pretty young thing". The fact no one seems to see that SENTINEL is the PRETTIEST oblviously and is PERFECT trophy conjunx material offends him.

Then Sentinel is doing a trip for Ultra Magnus representing interests, and they get attacked by the Decepticons and taken captive. Sentinel is even more furious they got captured and now he's being ransomed so he's snippy and no one is as petty as him in refusing to leak information out of sheer spite because he'd FINALLY gotten a date out of Senator Mirage and they are making him MISS it.

He is making his captors life hell to the point that the one in charge of the ship comes to see them. I'm choosing *drum roll* Megatron. Oops it was an important ship and Megatron just wants some defunct maps (that definitely aren't related to his search for the All Spark).

Megatron threatens Sentinel into behaving after he scoffs and mocks him but makes two mistakes.

Firstly, he picks Sentinel up by the waist to make his point.

Secondly, he calls Sentinel "pretty" in a way that's meant to be threatening.

Unfortunately, Sentinel is into that. And quickly starts doing some math. Megatron is the leader of the Decepticons and single and well obviously no Decepticon is as pretty as Sentinel so he clearly has a chance and Optimus always talked about really old propaganda mentioning some kind of honor code.

Decided, Sentinel removes and crashes her birth control and starts "seducing" Megatron. It's very very awkward and fake and unnatural but Sentinel is convinced he's smooth. Megatron thinks its a tactic and that Sentinel will chicken out and is clearly trying to escape/ get information to "make up for" his capture.

Sentinel just thinks he's succeeding when Megatron smiles and they eat together and Megatron takes him to bed. He balks a little because of the size difference but is not a quitter and Elita and he had used some obscenely large strap ons. Megatron just thinks he's very dedicated and offers him an out but Sentinel refuses snatches up a bottle of lube Megatron had deliberately placed in sight and gives him a show.

Megatron hadn't actually intended to fuck him but after watching Sentinel finger himself open until he was shaking with his whole hand finally popping in all while Megatron drinks engex and watches the show he knows he's going to.

Sentinel is enjoying himself because Megatron has been making little comments throughout, making him preen and he forgot how much he liked someone watching and already overloaded twice.

Megatron takes over from there, and soon Sentinel is spread across his waist, taking Megatron’s fingers and he's taking his time with his newest luxury. Only when Sentinel is literally sobbing from overstimulation and can fit four fingers does he finally bring out his spike and, meanly, shoves himself in fully in one thrust.

He proceeds to bully and fuck Sentinel with no regard for his overload. It's Megatron’s turn and he fully intends to make sure Sentinel, who doesn't know he's being sent back tomorrow, goes back to Ultra Magnus absolutely full of his transfluid.

Sentinel is riding the high of success as much as he is Megatron telling him how he's made to be fucked and bred and forcing Sentinel to feel the bulge of Megatron's spike moving inside him while Sentinel just keens through his nth overload hiccuping through tears and sobs.

Sentinel spends the night satisfied and certain he succeeded only to be given the basics to clean himself and be shuffled off to be returned with a small curve to his belly from his stuffed gestation tank.

Sentinel is furious and embarrassed and absolutely frothing to rip Megatron’s head off. The bastard. Everyone else is trying to comfort him and thinks he's refusing to talk about it due to trauma. He is not going to admit to a failed seduction. While the Decepticon reputation plummets and Sentinel gets his confirmation, he's pregnant.

Shockwave meanwhile is trying to message Megatron who has just headed to the outskirts to chase a lead about the fact that his heir is now under Ultra Magnus's control.

And then Megatron disappears leaving Shockwave/Longarm doting and fretting over Sentinel deliberately befriending him and seeing his care is top notch.

Clearly, this is more important, so he starts planning to "evacuate" Sentinel and the Decepticon Heir.

YEESSSS this is so good. All Sentinel ever wanted was to be some fuckable arm-candy, he and Elita had it all figured out. He couldn’t wait to be pushing out her babies like the good trophy conjunx he really is.

The reason he’s so pissy is because none of that ever happened. He was supposed to be rolling around in silky sheets, respected as the extension of a high ranking official, but instead he’s got all these responsibilities on his shoulders and everyone is constantly annoying him about holding up to them, which he begrudgingly does because of course he cannot act lazy and incompetent if he’s to find a conjunx in the future.

Sentinel getting himself knocked up by Megatron because he figured that he’s his best shot right now… he’s so stupid. I can’t stop thinking about Shockwave panicking slightly as he tries to desperately protect Megatron’s heir without giving up his real identity…

I honestly want to see what Sentinel would do once Megatron comes back and his heir is already out… he’d probably try to seduce him again, though. He can push out so many more babies for him, if he would like <3

#valveplug #pregnancy mention #tfa #texty

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 2 years ago

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Hi and welcome back! Can I request a part... I don't know anymore 😂 but innocent reader going on her first date with the Gods? I'm loving this series and I can imagine the Valkyries and human fighters stalked their date secretly to make sure nothing happen to reader! Again, welcome back and love you!!

-After a lot of convincing from Brunnhilde, Adam relented, giving his permission to (God) for one date with you, but only if you wanted to.

-When (God) approached you and asked you for a date, you calmed, smiling up at them a bit more open to the idea of a date rather than marriage, you accepted, much to Adam’s dismay.

-Little did you and (God) know, you two weren’t the only ones going on the date, as most of the valkyries and most of the members of your adopted family watched from a distance, making sure that (God) wasn’t going to try anything funny with you, or they were going to step in to defend you from this scoundrel who was trying to steal you away.

Hades- Took you on a moonlit beach walk, complete with a picnic, he was nice, taking your shoes from you when you got to the beach, and treated you so politely, as he didn’t want to upset you again. You had initially been a bit nervous about going out with him, but he made you so happy, treating you like a princess. When you finished with your picnic, which was just some fruit and wine, the two of you held hands. You could have sworn you heard someone yelling, looking around, a bit confused, not seeing Brunnhilde holding back Adam, her hand covering his mouth before Hades took you home, asking for another date almost immediately which surprised you, but you agreed.

Poseidon- He arrived to pick you up with a bouquet of roses, something Hades advised him to do, and he’s glad that he brought them, as your face lit up, smiling as you thanked him. You put the roses in an empty vase before you walked out, he instantly offered you his arm and he saw your hesitance for only a moment before you took it and he led you away from your home, taking you to a fancy restaurant for your date. Poseidon could have sworn he felt eyes glaring daggers in the back of his head, but when he looked around, he could see nothing. Dinner went smoothly and Poseidon came to enjoy conversing with you, finding you quite intelligent, you just were just a bit socially oblivious, but that added to your charm. He could easily see this obliviousness as he saw your family all sitting at tables in the back, watching him like a hawk, which amused him.

Beelzebub- For your date with him, Beelzebub took you to a café, something small and not super serious, as he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by taking you somewhere super fancy. He was quick to notice your family following the two of you, which annoyed him only a bit, seeing their lack of trust in him. Despite being oblivious with dirty talk, you surprised him by being way smarter than you let on, being able to hold a conversation with him about random topics. He found himself growing fond of you, reaching across the small table to hold you hand, which made you blush slightly, but you didn’t push him away. He saw out of the corner of his eye Adam being held back by Brunnhilde and Raiden, both who looked furious themselves, as he smiled at you, pissing them off even more.

Hercules- When he announced he was taking you on a picnic, your family was quick to stake out the location, so they could be hidden, watching your date carefully, not wanting to risk your safety. However, making you cry was the last thing Hercules wanted to do, he still felt bad for doing it when he proposed so suddenly to you after you kicked his ass. He held the picnic basket and blanket when he picked you up and you gave him a small smile as you started to the quiet grassy field. You spoke up to him, “Can I hold something, I want to help you.” He instantly beamed, giving you his hand, “You can hold this!” your bright red face made your family nearly run to beat him up, but their jaws dropped when you took his hand, making him beam brightly. He was nothing but a gentleman for you, laying out the blanket and giving you a sandwich, the two of you talking the afternoon away before he walked you home.

Thor- Thor wasn’t well versed with romance, so he had to ask for some advice on what to do, asking Brunnhilde, who did think it was rather cute that he came to her for help. He picked you up from your home, bringing some roses for you, which made you smile warmly up at him, thanking him before the two of you headed out to the beach, a quiet getaway date to walk down the beach together. Your family was stalking close behind as you pointed out shells and crabs on the beach, making him smile about how happy you were. He started to relax, “Y/N, are you happy being out here with me?” you were surprised by his question but smiled, “I was a little nervous at first, not going to lie, but you’ve been so sweet!” Thor could easily see why your family was so protective of you, you were sweet, but anyone could easily snatch you away, it made him want to protect you as well.

Loki- Adam slammed the door in his face when Loki showed up with some roses for you, making Loki whine on how cruel your future father-in-law was. You were almost unable to leave the house as Adam refused to let you go, not wanting to go with such a little shit. Loki grabbed your hand, running away with you, laughing as your family charged after the two of you. Once he managed to shake your family, he grinned warmly down at you, taking you to get ice cream, as you were both a little warm from running. Despite being a gremlin to your family, Loki was so sweet with you, offering you a spoonful of his ice cream before he grinned at you, wanting the same. You were blushing hard but did and he beamed, happy that you did the same thing for him before he spoke, “Guess I should take you home, I’ve already probably pissed off half your family. Maybe for our next date I’ll behave a bit more.” You giggled, thinking he was funny as he took your hand again, taking you home.

Shiva- Was no strangers to dates, but he did appreciate the advice of his wives on where he should take you to show that he was serious and they all ended up deciding on a botanical garden, as Durga had managed to figure out that you liked flowers. Shiva was very polite with you, holding your hand gently as you wandered around the massive botanical garden, looking at flowers together. He wasn’t bored, as he got to see your smiling face, but you were more into flowers than he was. Your family ran into Shiva’s wives, who were spying as well, wanting to make sure everything was going well, which caused a few arguments. You thought you had heard shouting, looking around, as did Shiva, as he thought he had heard his wives, but decided to continue on. Shiva smiled down at you when you made it to the end of the garden, putting a daisy behind your head, making you smile softly. Shiva’s wives threw their hands up in silent victory while your family was lamenting in silence.

Rudra- He went to Parvati, Kali, and Durga, wanting their advice on what to do for a date, and he ended up taking their advice about going to an aquarium, as it was simple, but still nice and romantic. Rudra smiled warmly when you met him out front of the aquarium, both of you not realizing your family was following you, making sure he wasn’t going to make you cry again. He instantly beamed, “You look so cute!” you held your cheeks, blushing from his compliment before you headed inside. The two of you had so much fun exploring the aquarium, looking at the different aquatic animals together, learning some new things. Rudra found that you were so sweet and kind, it made sense why your family was so protective of you, and you found out that he was so nice, treating you so politely. When it came time to go home, he offered to walk you home and you agreed, holding one of his hands while Adam looked ready to murder, “How dare he hold her hand- in public!!” but neither of you heard his outburst.

Indra- Was a bit annoyed at the thought of dating, not that he didn’t want to date you, because he did, but he thought it was a bit unnecessary when you were going to get married to him. However, to appease your family and to not make you cry again, he made plans to take you to a park with a big lake, one where you could walk around or even go boating. After being out with you after a while, doing one lap around the lake, the two of you just talking about random things, Indra had to admit he wouldn’t mind going out with you again. You were so easy to talk to, he couldn’t help but feel at ease with you. His hand brushed against yours before he took it, and you turned your head with a slight blush, but not pushing him off, which made him grin, “You’re too cute for your own good.” You blushed a bit more, making him laugh as you finished your date and he returned you home, the two of you having made plans for your next date already.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror poseidon #ror hades #ror loki #ror thor #ror beelzebub #ror heracles #ror shiva #ror rudra #ror indra

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marley-manson · 4 months ago

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I go on a lot about BJ's flaws because they're what make him interesting to me, but I gotta say I love to view Hawkeye, especially with regards to his relationship with BJ, as like... what's the right word? Stubborn? Judgemental? Take-charge (in a way that incidentally doesn't negate him being subby in bed but rather makes it a more interesting dynamic lol)? Demanding?

He leads and he automatically expects his friends to follow, and if they don't he'll make his judgy displeasure known. He's extremely empathetic towards people as a general rule but a typical exception is when they're his close friends and they go against his judgement or fail to meet his expectations.

Based on how I perceive Hawkeye's character as a whole, I would actually sum it up as Hawkeye getting a little irrationally upset when he's ignored as a presence, someone who has an effect in his friends lives.

I'm thinking of The Bus when BJ wants to include Frank in a conversation and Hawkeye snaps at him for it; or Hawkeye watching BJ standing politely for Margaret in The Gun and giving him a very pointed disapproving look; or the way he initiates his appendix scheme in Preventative Medicine without consulting with BJ at all, just assuming he'll go along with it; or the way BJ is able to goad him about the joke by not laughing at it in Dear Uncle Abdul; or the way Hawkeye gets upset when BJ doesn't join him in his outrage in Give Em Hell Hawkeye; or the way he accuses BJ of not being loyal in The Most Unforgettable Characters, or Commander Pierce even (though I think the latter ep is ooc in many ways, aspects do potentially fit this take on Hawk.)

Or, for non-BJ examples, arguably trying to convince Carlye to divorce her husband for him; getting mad at distant childhood friends when they don't humour his paranoia about his nightmares in Hawk's Nightmare; his judginess towards Borelli in The Consultant when he fails to live up to Hawkeye's first impression of him; there's a little moment in Private Charles Lamb where Trapper interrupts Hawkeye mid-joke and Hawkeye gives him such an irritated look lol...

And of course it's all largely a function of his role as a protagonist with very strong opinions: the anti-authority attitude as a cornerstone of the show, and the way he's almost always the one who initiates and takes the lead in the show's plotlines. And it informs his two closest relationships on the show, with Trapper and BJ both as followers to his leader.

There are plenty of examples of him following another's lead as well, since he's not someone who particularly cares about being in charge of anything - Carry On Hawkeye, his indifference to being Chief Surgeon in Chief Surgeon Who, Twas the Day After Christmas where he's completely checked out and doesn't care at all about the authority roleswap, his usual respect for Potter, BJ masterminding a few pranks, etc. It's not about needing to be an authority figure or being unable to switch to a more supportive role when the situation calls for it.

It's about needing to affect people, imo. It goes along with his urge to entertain, to be seen, to be enjoyed as a spectacle, because he too easily feels invisible as part of the army (The Interview). It fits his tirade against the army wanting them to blend into the background in fatigues, in Peace on Us. It works as the source of his outrage when his things are used without permission (Picture This, Follies of the Living with the clothes peg).

I'd say he hates being disagreed with, dismissed, ignored, or misunderstood to a somewhat irrational extent because it feels like being unseen, invalidated, invisible. Being stuck in the army, in a situation totally outside his control where he's viewed by the higher authorities as just a number definitely exacerbates it, but I think it's a part of his core personality.

Honestly, to get a little interestingly weird with it, I could even believe that part of the appeal of being a surgeon for him is the physical impact on people - the proof when he saves a leg or a life that he had his hands in someone and changed them. He does canonically use pretty unique and recognizable sutures after all.

This is mostly a headcanony take since I don't necesssarily think these nuances are really intended lol, and there are definitely plenty of moments that don't fit this vibe since Hawkeye is fairly well-rounded as a character and person overall. Sometimes he's more easy going and chill. It's more just me tying some patterns together in a way that I think makes sense with Hawkeye's character and the way he embodies the 'acting out in a warzone' theme.

And I don't think it's all flaws either - Hawkeye's force of personality is usually a virtue in the show. He does a lot of good with his refusal to back down, and his impact on people is probably pretty positive overall. If he inspires others to rebel more, question authority, be more true to themselves, be more openly emotional, etc, I think that's great.

But like, it's also kind of fucked up as an interpersonal dynamic, particularly with a more passive best friend who seems to often resent how much limelight Hawkeye takes up, and particularly in the army environment I think Hawkeye's urge to make himself seen, understood, and agreed with becomes pronounced to a pretty offputting degree at times. It leads to a very one-sided dynamic between him and his two best friends which imo is very interesting to explore.

#mash #hawkeye mash #marley on mash #idk if i've articulated this as well as i can but idk if i want to sit down and write a properly outlined essay either lol #i linked a properly outlined essay that sets a lot of this take on hawk up at least

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fangirleaconmigo · 2 years ago

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maybe weird and mybe vague, but if you ever have the time and inclination, would you talk bout your opinion on Geralt and *religion*? I haven't read the books in a very long time, and i only am halfway though the series, but sometimes geralt says something (' for it is the **holy** and irrefutable right of every woman.') and i'm left thinking, because he doesn't seem to believe in much but at the same time he does?

Religion and Spirituality in The Witcher Books: What DOES Geralt of Rivia Believe In?

Hello my dear! Sometime you guys will send me an ask that just makes me go...HOW DID YOU KNOW I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THIS AND WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO RAMBLE ON ABOUT IT.

VERY MILD BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD

VERY LONG, EXTRA, GEEKY POST AHEAD

So. For those who missed it, this is in reference to my "abortion in the witcher books" post, where Geralt calls abortion a "holy and irrefutable" right, both words that imply either spirituality or at least moral beliefs that surpass reasoning and rationality.

Yet, we know that Geralt does not believe in the existence of 'the gods', (I'll pull the quotes for that and show evidence as we go) so why would he use such language? What DOES he believe in? Does he have a guiding spiritual system of beliefs?

A lot of people interpret Geralt's attempts at political neutrality as wishy washy or cynical or apathetic, and believe, as a result, that he does not have a particular driving moral system of beliefs. In fact!! On my abortion post there was a guy on twitter actually trying to fight with me, saying that it doesn't matter what Geralt thinks about abortion, because Geralt doesn't value human life. (lmaoooooooooooooooo)

I am here to say that this is incorrect all around. (to the conservative dudebro I told him that he was conflating 'has killed' with 'does not value life', two very different things.) Anywho. Geralt actually has an incredibly strong system of morals and ethics that are VERY clearly laid out in the books. We can even name that system of beliefs. It just gets complicated!

So, let's talk about that. First, let's lay out his beliefs.

Disclaimer: I'm working with English translations of the books, and as I get very precise about words, just please be aware of that limitation. Many times I wish I had a Polish friend who had copies of the book and wouldn't mind me (the dreaded Geraskier shipper and twn fan) pestering them every time I had a question about wording. If anyone doesn't mind being that friend for me, please let me know.

Now. Onward.

For those who did not read my abortion post, Panur is referring to the fact that In Sword of Destiny (p 345), when Geralt is discussing his mother with Calanthe, this is what he calls abortion:

“A choice. A choice which should be respected, for it is the holy and irrefutable right of every woman.”

There are two words that Geralt uses here, "holy" and 'irrefutable" and both imply something 'higher' than reason. Holy is religious in nature, while irrefutable is along the lines of "inalienable" which is the word Dandelion uses, when speaking about the right to abortion. In Baptism of Fire (p317), Dandelion refers to abortion like this:

It’s obvious that only the woman can make a decision like that. It’s her inalienable right.

Inalienable and irrefutable are words that describe inherent rights, which are not subject to rational debate.

Many would describe that as sacred or untouchable. So even though it is not as directly religious as the word 'holy', it implies a value that is higher than logic or rationality.

AND YET, we do know that Geralt does not believe in the gods. It is a point of discussion between him and Nenneke on multiple occasions. In The Last Wish (p37) Nenneke is worried about Geralt and is trying to convince him to let Iola, one of her priestesses, put him in a trance. He resists her idea. Here is what Nenneke says.

"Iola isn't a medium or a mentally ill soothsayer. That child enjoys the goddess's favor."

Geralt's face does something in reaction to this that indicates his disbelief, and Nenneke responds.

"Don't pull silly faces, if you please."

So whatever his face did, it wasn't good. She continues.

"As I said, your view on religion is known to me, it's never particularly bothered me, and no doubt, it won't bother me in the future. I'm not a fanatic. You've a right to believe that we're governed by Nature and the Force hidden within her. You can think that the gods, including my Melitele, are merely a personification of this power invented for simpletons so they understand it better, accept its existence. According to you, that power is blind."

So, Nenneke describes his belief system in regard to the gods as...they don't exist, at least not in the way people view them. There is magic and chaos and monstrous beings, sure. But there are no 'all powerful' gods enacting their will on the world, there is nothing so predictable or organized.

Those beliefs are repeated elsewhere in the books, but I won't pull every single quote. This one does the trick. Geralt believes that people invented the gods to explain the world around them.

We also know that he believes humans invent monsters in order to seem less monstrous themselves. He says this to Dandelion in The Last Wish (p167).

"People," Geralt turned his head, "like to invent monsters and monstrosities. Then they seem less monstrous themselves. When they get blind-drunk, cheat, steal, beat their wives, staar an old woman, when they kill a trapped fox with an axe or riddle the last existing unicorn with arrows, they like to think that the Bane entering cottages at daybreak is more monstrous than they are. They feel better then. They find it easier to live.

So. In Geralt's world view, human beings are the creators. They create gods. They create monsters. And when they blame the gods or monsters, it is a false powerlessness engineered to escape accountability. But Geralt holds people accountable anyway.

So, if Geralt does not believe in the gods, does that mean he believes in nothing? Does that mean he does not have a moral code?

Actually, it is the opposite.

If people are held accountable for their actions, when they have no gods or demons or monsters to blame, the standard for morality is much higher.

Geralt if often called self righteous for this stance. In The Last Wish, (p160) when Geralt is complaining about how hard it is to make a living as a witcher, Dandelion even tells him he should be a priest, saying the fact that he doesn't believe in gods shouldn't be any barrier.

"Whatever. Become a priest. You wouldn't be bad at it with all your scruples, your morality, your knowledge of people and everything. The fact that you don't believe in any gods shouldn't be a problem. I don't know many priests who do. Becomes a priest and stop feeling sorry for yourself."

But without spirituality, where does Geralt get his system of morals? How does Geralt decide what is right and what is wrong?

Well, once again, Geralt puts human beings (instead of gods) at the center, in the position of power and importance.

Let's start with the moral quandary Geralt faces most often. Which monsters are ethical to kill, and which are not ethical to kill?

Geralt has arguments many times throughout the books with people who want him to kill a monster that he does not want to kill,

AND conversely

he has arguments with people who judge him for killing monsters that they believe should be protected.

Those people are on the extremes. Some people see all monsters as inherently without worth. At best, they think they are subhuman and can be murdered for money making schemes or potions, or at worst, they think they should all be exterminated.

The other kind of person (mostly druids and academics) see them as part of mother nature, sacrosanct and untouchable, and accuse Geralt of being immoral for killing even one.

But for Geralt? It isn't so simple. There is no 'one size fits all'. He doesn't 'other' monsters like that. So he has to decided each and every time. And as a nonbeliever, Geralt does not have a holy book or god to consult with to tell him what is right. And yet? He always has an answer.

In reference to the monsters he does not want to kill, here are a few passages of Geralt explaining his reasoning. In The Last Wish, he tells Dandelion he won't kill mecopterans because:

I'm not going to kill mecopterans. Nor any other harmless creatures."

Then, in Sword of Destiny (p42) when when Yennefer and Dorregaray are arguing about dragons, Geralt speaks up. What he says explains why he doesn't kill them:

"Dragons aren't man's enemies," Geralt broke in.

Then later, Yennefer challenges him.

"...And what do you know, witcher?"

“Only," Geralt said, ignoring the sudden warning vibration of the medallion around his neck, "that if dragons didn’t have treasure hoards, not a soul would be interested in them; and certainly not sorcerers...

Later on in the book, Dandelion says that Geralt doesn't kill night spirits because they are "sweet". There are a lot of other examples, but basically, that is always the test. Did the monster harm a human?

Now, on the other extreme, there are people who think Geralt shouldn't harm any monsters. These are people who are big on theory and environmentalism, druids and academics. Here are two examples.

First, we have Dorregaray in Sword of Destiny (p40) he says that Witchers calling killing a vocation is "loathsome, low, and nonsensical". He says:

"The world...is in equilibrium. Natural equilibrium....The extermination of the natural enemies of humans, which you dedicate yourself to...threatens the degeneration of the race."

Geralt responds with his reasoning.

"Do you know what, sorcerer?" Geralt said, annoyed. "one day, take yourself to a mother whose child has been devoured by a basilisk, and tell her she ought to be glad, because thanks to that the human race has escaped degeneration. See what she says to you."

Basically, he's like...tell that to the people who are killed.

Then, in Blood of Elves, Geralt is talking to an academic called Linus Pitt. (it's actually a really funny story, I summarized it here) Geralt has been hired to defend the boat from a monster, and this academic has struck up a conversation with him. They are discussing sea creatures (aeschna) who have been pulling people from decks and eating them. This man offers a similar argument to Dorregaray.

"...It was wiped out a good half-century ago, due -- incidentally --to the activity of individuals such as yourself who are prepared to kill anything that does not instantly look right, without forethought, tests, observations or considering its ecological niche..."

Now, we as the reader know, witchers do consider ecological niches, because Vesemir teaches Ciri about them in the previous chapters in this same book. But for witchers, ecological niches ultimately do not outweigh human life. So after briefly considering just telling the man "where he could put the aeschna and its niche," Geralt responds, trying to appeal to the man's love of theory and scholarship and his college (Oxenfurt, natch)...

"Master Tutor," he said calmly, "one of those pulled form the deck was a young pregnant girl...Theoretically, her child could, one day, have become chancellor of your college. What do you have to say to such an approach to ecology?"

That doesn't work. Master Tutor Pitt is still snooty.

"Nature is governed by its own rules and although those rules are cruel and ruthless, they should not be amended...And nothing can justify the extermination of a species, even a predatory one. What do you say to that?"

So, Geralt reverts to his truth.

"I'd say it's dangerous to lean out like that. There might be an aeschna in the vicinity. Do you want to try out the aeschna's struggle for survival on your own skin?"

Linus Pitt let go of the railing and abruptly jumped away.

The point is always always always...idk man do you want to die? Do you want your family to die?

The test is always:

Harm to humans, vs no harm to humans.

At this point, we can comfortably say that Geralt's system of beliefs has a name.

Geralt does not exist, he is a literary device. But in as far as we can gather evidence and apply it to canon, his state beliefs fit the definition.

A system of belief that attributes the good and evil in the world to choices of humans, rather than gods, and that assesses good and bad based primarily on whether they harm or help humans, has a name.

Geralt is a humanist.

Here is the definition for humanism from Oxford dictionary:

an outlook or system of thought attaching prime importance to human rather than divine or supernatural matters. Humanist beliefs stress the potential value and goodness of human beings, emphasize common human needs, and seek solely rational ways of solving human problems.

There are, of course, many ways to define any philosophy you could possibly discuss, but at it's most basic, humanism does not source morality from a holy book or a god. There is no higher power or authority.

It asks one simple question:

Does this do harm to humans, or does it help humans?

That may seem obvious, but a whole lot of morality based on religion falls away when you use this. Premarital sex? Is it bad? Welp? Are you harming the person you're having sex with? No? Ok, you're good! Homosexuality? Again, are you harming the person you're dating? No? Then you're good! Most sex based ideas about immorality just sort of goes away.

So is this just a decision making tool though? Or a system of morality? A way of life?

Well, for Geralt it is a way of life. This man is extra as fuck about his code of ethics.

I mean, there is no witcher code of ethics. But you'd better believe his extra ass made one, for himself! He calls it the witchers code, instead of Geralt's code, because that sounds fancier, and people respect it that way. If he just said, "I don't want to do it," no one would listen to him.

I did a post on his code.

So this guy is so in love with ethics that when no one gave him a code, he WROTE HIS OWN, and THEN! THEN he went out on the path as a young witcher, hoping to rescue innocents. He came out of the gate being driven by the value of human life.

When he is in the temple, talking to Iola, the priestess, (p115)about himself as a young witcher and what motivated him out on the path, he says this:

"...when I left Kaer Morhen and took to the road. I'd earned my medallion, the Sign of the Wolf's School. I had two swords: silver and iron, and my conviction, enthusiasm, incentive, and....faith. Faith that I was needed in a world full of monsters and beasts, to protect the innocent."

Geralt's entire personality is based on his initial desire to just...help people. Do good. It has nothing to do with gods. It has everything to do with the way he values human life.

Does this take a massive beating every day he wakes up? yes. Does he always live up to it? No. But it doesn't change the fact that it's there, that it is the underpinning of his character.

Also, I have to add, it informs his entire approach of political neutrality.

Geralt gets a bad rap for his ideas about neutrality. I'm not saying his idea about neutrality is the ideal or always correct. But people tend to see it as based in apathy or self interest and it very much is not.

He explains it to Ciri in Blood of Elves.

Geralt, Triss, and Ciri are traveling with Yarpen Zigrin and his men in Blood of Elves (p122) . Yarpen is transporting (smuggling) something crucial for the war effort on behalf of King Henselt of Kaedwen.

Triss is ill, so Geralt has begged Yarpen to allow them to join the caravan. Geralt says he will help out to pay them back for their kindness, only, Geralt has one thing he will not do. Since they are an official caravan, fighting would essentially make him an official soldier. So, if they are attacked by Scoia'tael, he will not fight. He says:

"Please don't count on my sword. I have no intention of killing those, as you call them, evil creatures, on the order of other creatures whom I do not consider to be any better."

Later, Ciri rides ahead and comes across some elven ruins. Geralt catches up to her and tells her what happened there. They are the ruins of an elven castle called Shaerrawedd, where humans mercilessly massacred a huge number of elven youth.

Geralt says that he has seen some elves about, but he isn't going to warn the caravan because he knows the elves are only there to visit their sacred place. He explains his neutrality to Ciri further.

"Do you know now why the Scoia'tael were here, do you see what they wanted to look at? And do you understand why the elven and dwarven young must never be allowed to be massacred once again? Do you understand why neither you nor I are permitted to have a hand in this massacre?....Do you understand?

She nodded.

"Do you understand what this neutrality is, which stirs you so? To be neutral does not mean to be indifferent or insensitive. You dont' have to kill your feelings. It is enough to kill the hatred within yourself. Do you understand?"

It isn't that Geralt doesn't care.

Geralt cares so so very much, and is so distrustful of power and political and religious institutions that he believes getting involved with them will end in him being used as a tool to do something to harm others.

Geralt does not want to be used as a tool to kill someone else. He has a lot of experience with that. He believes that the only response to a rigged game is to not play it.

Of course it is so much more complicated than that. Geralt has a lot to learn over the course of the series and he is tested sorely, and brutally. He is challenged over and over again. Is it even possible not to play? Are you playing by not playing?

But this post isn't about the relative ethics of political neutrality. It's about Geralt's spiritual and/ or moral beliefs.

The point of this post is, that Geralt is very passionately driven by his well defined system of beliefs, and that belief system is humanism.

Ok, let's go back to the words holy and irrefutable. Even though Geralt does not believe in the gods, he sometimes uses words that sound religious to describe his beliefs. Let's also go back to the word Faith. He uses it twice with Iola to describe his belief that he can help the innocent and do good in the world.

That is because, you don't need anything supernatural to value human life, AND YET sometimes that act of valuing human life feels sacred.

It is not logic. It is not reason. It is love.

I'm editorializing here. This is just me talking, my opinion. Humanism involves believing in the worth of human beings, and that requires a massive amount of faith, especially when people are out there doing evil to each other every day. Some days, love feels like a miracle.

Sure, you CAN make 'rational' arguments about why being kind to one another or valuing one another is the best way to live. It results in a high quality of life, it builds a healthier, more peaceful, world. It's all true.

But ultimately, most humanists are probably not humanists because of rationality. They value human life because they value it intrinsically. They believe that it matters, against all fucking odds. They just love for love's sake.

A know I do!

And having a protagonist like Geralt, who, no matter what horrors and evils he sees, not matter what abuse and trauma he endures, who never ever stops just fucking HELPING, who never stops CARING never stops TRYING, who exemplifies everything to love and cherish about the human spirit, just because he thinks HUMAN BEINGS are worth defending, it is so important to have, and for me, so fulfilling to read.

So, call him a humanist, don't call him a humanist, it doesn't matter. But watching him him go through hell, yet refuse to stop trying to help other people, it makes me feel better about being a human.

#the witcher #asks #geralt of rivia #the witcher books #thinking about geralt of rivia yet again #thinking about the witcher books yet again

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