#and I’m so very mean to them
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Banging my head metaphorically since the muses still ain’t musin’ so I’m probably gonna draw my funny sad cowboy tomorrow and see if that fixes me
I’m gonna post their ref when I remember to, but like,,, ugh
Tormenting this fucker might fix me. Or they could have a good day? Unlikely
I’m just making noise don’t mind me
#textpostin#gonna make a tag for oc refs rq#i’m a very cruel god#but I love them they’re silly and full of trauma#(I put it there)#((the secret ingredient is being mean))#I joked with Nelson once about how Emile and them would kinda sorta get on well from both being their God’s (creator’s) favorite little meo#meow to torment#unlike emile though#I’ve given them friends they make along the way that’s actually a support system#And not a collection of people getting them to murder#it’s actually kinda the opposite#one of their new best friends is someone they were supposed to murder!#wait no#two of them actually#the third is a literal child adopted by the man furry who they tried to kill#this sounds fucking wild out of context Lmao#they’re a bounty hunter in a fantasy world if that clears up literally anything#and I’m so very mean to them
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i NEED the sexy poll to be real in universe, it’ll never not be funny to me
#did not mean to take 4 months to make this comic my bad#also did not mean to rag on vox so hard#i’m sorry buddy you’ll get him next time#if season 2 doesn’t have more of them bickering what’s the POINT#this was meant as practice for their expressions n dialogue. ended up being very fun!!#my art#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#vox#hazbin hotel vox#radiostatic#staticradio
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idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼
#gave it a name bc i was kinda tired of calling it the Fidds and Stan Work Together on the Portal AU#it’s called portal partners bc they’re partners in fixing the portal partners in running the shack AND partners in life#ik i’m not the only one to think of an au where they start working together after ford goes missing#but i don’t see a lot of people really showing the older version of them ? i don’t think ?#like i’ve seen canon older fiddlestan but not older fiddlestan after working together for 30 years ? idk#also figured fidds would look different in a world where he doesn’t lose his mind in his 30s#🤷🏻♂️#gay old men#yay#stan looks and acts the same btw he just happens to also have a very longterm bf to be gay with#gravity falls took place before gay marriage was legal (jesus christ that’s crazy to think about) so that’s why i say very longterm bf#(this means ford would be back in time to attend their wedding tho so. best man ford real. fidd & ford may be sort-of-exes but it’s fine)#gravity falls#gravity falls au#fiddlestan#also… petition to start calling fiddlestan fiddley#bc fiddle(ford) + (stan)ley …. fiddley… u see the vision????#fiddley#🙂↕️🙏🏼#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart#idk man i’m gonna tag the au too ig#portal partners au#gravity falls portal partners au#???#my art#(i guess? used a fidds base then redrew it with my changes so idk)#rystiart#sorry if someone’s done smthn similar bc i feel like this idea of them working together is pretty popular maybe 😭
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I attended a few more events since my last gala post, so here are some things you can say/do at fancy events to cause chaos or piss people off (but in a subtle way):
say “so nice to see you again!” loudly to someone who has clearly forgotten your name
ignore someone about to shake your hand by moving your drink over to your right hand (bonus points if you’re carrying a purse/etc in the other hand)
say “so nice to see you again!” to someone you’ve never met, just to make them sweat and try to figure out where they know you from
if someone makes a joke about forgetting your name or where they know you from, lean in, smile, and say “I truly thought I made more of an impression than that.” then enjoy the laughter of all onlookers (rich people love this joke)
if people are wearing name tags, purposefully call them the wrong name or use the wrong pronunciation. play it off as bad eyesight if caught
alternatively, play off the wrong pronunciation as trying to pronounce it the “original” way (oh you don’t pronounce it the old German way? do you speak German?) (ideal if it absolutely cannot be pronounced that way, even in German) (even more bonus points if it’s not German, etc)
ask couples with an obvious age difference if they’re enjoying going on a father-daughter date (apologize profusely when they correct you and play dumb)
if someone asks you where so and so is and why they couldn’t make it, tell them “I think (name) is a little under the weather tonight.” and then raise your eyebrows knowingly. let them come to their own conclusion as to what you’re implying
ask single men what they do for work and no matter the answer, reply with “oh wow, I didn’t expect that” in a neutral tone
allude to a cool, exclusive after party happening later but give no firm details (doesn’t need to exist, people just need to speculate about it)
if asked to have your photo taken, reply with “oh I’m not allowed to be in photos until things settle down.” don’t tell people what those things are.
tell someone you like their dress/suit/etc and then, once they’ve accepted the compliment, ask them (wide eyed) what the dress code was again for the event
grab a random old man’s shoulder on the way out (bonus points if he’s mid conversation) and say “we’ll be in touch” and nod knowingly as you exit
#thoughts#galas#writing tips#writing#some of this is so Brucie Wayne#I need to write more gala scenes for him#im not saying you should do these things because some are very mean#but I’m saying I’ve seen them happen lol#and maybe done a few
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Steddie Week 2024
July 6th Prompt: Dizzy
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 7
@steddie-week
Steve stands up, and that’s where it all goes wrong.
His intent was to grab more drinks from the fridge, but when he stood, he blinked a few times. “Whoa,” he murmurs.
“Steve?” Robin asks. She sounds like she’s at the end of a long tunnel.
“Steve?” Eddie asks. He sounds closer, but not as close as he should.
“‘M fine,” he says, “jus’ dizzy.”
Then he’s waking up in the hospital. “What,” he asks, then doesn’t complete the thought because Robin and Eddie are both standing over him, one on each side, holding each of his hands, and he’d feel so much love if he could feel anything besides general panic because- “I can’t hear you,” he says, breathing picking up. “I can’t- please, I- I need-”
Eddie shuts up, staring at him with wide eyes, and after a second of hesitation, places Steve’s hand, palm down, on his chest. He takes deep, purposeful breaths, and Steve can feel his hand moving, feel the breaths, feel his heartbeat-
He takes a breath. Another. Another. By that time, Nancy had gotten a doctor.
Later, he’ll learn this is something they’d been watching for, but couldn’t be sure of until he woke up. Later, he’ll learn that Eddie lays awake at night, sometimes, hearing the sound Robin makes.
All he knows right now is how to keep breathing, how to keep holding Robin’s hand, how to believe he’ll be okay, because he has to.
He has to.
He stays with Eddie upon his release, because they’re together most days anyways, and it’s a certain kind of torture on Steve’s heart because Eddie’s started carrying around a notebook and a pen just to write to Steve whatever he was gonna say, and Steve doesn’t think he could love another person more than he did, but here’s the proof, apparently.
They’re sharing a bed, because Wayne had previously called their couch “older than Jesus,” and Steve lasted for all of an hour on it before slipping into Eddie’s room.
The good thing about sharing a room is it helps curb the nightmares for a time.
Eventually, though, they come back with a vengeance.
Steve’s laying in bed, like he does every night, when he rolls over to face Eddie. “Eddie?” He asks. Eddie’s always last to sleep, so Steve’s not hesitant about asking, except Eddie doesn’t answer.
“Eddie?” He asks again, jostling Eddie’s shoulder a bit.
Suddenly he shoots up in the air, and Steve bites back a yell.
Suddenly there’s a voice that sounds like it’s coming from everywhere and nowhere, reverberating off the corners of the room, echoing louder and louder. You took everything from me. Eddie’s arms snap, and Steve yells, scrambles up, music, except what’s his favorite song—that puppet one, metal, come on brain, think—but there’s nothing here but country, bluegrass, stuff Wayne likes, and Steve turns to watch the blood drain from Eddie’s face as another gristly crunch echoes, louder than anything so far. So I’ll take everything from you!
Something reaches out for him, grabs his shoulder, and he yells, twists around, pushes away, hard enough he falls on the ground. He opens his eyes to see Eddie on his bed, Steve sitting just off it, eyes wide and hand reaching to help, stalled halfway. Illuminated by the lamp, too, which wasn’t on half a second ago.
Steve blinks at him, looks at the room. No floating Eddie in the middle of it.
“Dream?” He asks. Eddie nods. He stifles the sob and practically launches himself onto the bed, into Eddie’s arms, lets himself shake apart because he can.
Eventually he feels reverberating in Eddie’s chest that he knows means words, means speaking, so he looks up at Eddie, who’s looking at the door.
He turns to look, too, and sees Wayne. “S-sorry,” he tries, still sniffling.
Wayne shakes his head at him, walks into the room, sits on the edge of the bed. Offers his arms out in a hug.
Steve thought he was done crying. Trust Wayne to prove him wrong, because he’s tearing up all over again as he leans into Wayne.
His new position means he can see Eddie, who points at him, makes a talking motion with his hand, then points at himself and Wayne. Steve frowns. “You… want me to tell you?”
Eddie points at Steve again, insistently, and Steve understands: your choice.
“I can,” he agrees. “We were in bed and I was tryin’a talk to you, but you didn’t answer, and I kept trying to get your attention, but suddenly you- you were up in the air, and your arms and legs broke, and a voice—it was Vecna, I didn’t recognize it in the dream—said I’d taken everything from him so he was gonna take everything from me. And I was trying to find music, but I couldn’t remember the name of your favorite song, and the only stuff in here was Wayne’s stuff, country and bluegrass and stuff like that, and…” he sighs out a broken sob. “I couldn’t save you.”
Eddie reaches for his hand, but suddenly that’s not enough, he needs to be able to feel his heartbeat, have his breathing move Steve’s hand, so he tips over into Eddie again, gets his hand on his chest and his face in the side of his neck.
Eddie says something, but before Steve can move Wayne’s got a comforting hand on his back. He removes it after a minute, and Steve can feel the shift in the bed of him getting up, but before he can mourn the loss, Eddie’s got his arms wrapped around Steve as he carefully lowers them back down. He rubs a hand up and down Steve’s spine, slips the other into Steve’s hair.
Steve falls asleep like that.
He wakes up in almost the same position. He tries to apologize, but Eddie waves him off, hands him some clothes and points to the bathroom before pointing to himself and miming cooking.
Steve’s heart clenches at the thought. “Okay,” he whispers.
Robin comes over later, and they sit on the front steps as he recounts what had happened. “He’s just so sweet,” he sighs. “And I’m an idiot who’s letting my heart get involved.”
Robin wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses his temple. It doesn’t help as much as he’d hoped it would, but he appreciates the gesture anyways.
Later she leaves, and Eddie pulls out his dedicated Steve Notebook.
I’ve got a friend in Indy who knows sign language. I could give her a call, if you want? He writes, and again Steve’s all but overcome with love for this man.
Instead of anything he wants to do, he just nods. Eddie grins and hops up to use the phone.
He’s back in a couple of minutes, collapses onto the couch with the notebook before furiously scribbling and handing it to Steve.
I spoke to my friend. She says sorry and it sucks, first of all. Steve snorts and nods. She’s willing to talk to you, get you started, maybe even get you some books. Does tomorrow work?
Steve gapes up at Eddie. “Tomorrow?”
Eddie nods and grins, then points at Steve in a gesture Steve knows has come to mean you decide.
“That would be great,” he says. “Seriously, I- thank you, Eddie.”
Eddie waves him off, but Steve can see the happy little blush on his cheeks.
They head out the next day. It’s probably twenty minutes into the drive, and even with Eddie sitting next to him in the driver’s seat, it feels lonely. He never realized how much he’d miss the sound of tires on asphalt. He wasn’t ever truly into music, like Eddie is, but he misses the radio. He misses the wind rushing past, the silence that’s possible to share when both people can hear-
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Eddie’s pulled over, a hand on his cheek and a concerned expression on his face. “Sorry,” he tries. Eddie shakes his head, presses his palm more firmly to Steve’s cheek. “Fuck,” he mutters. “‘S stupid. Just… felt alone. I dunno. There’s, like, a million little things you hear every day that you don’t think about, like the way your hands tap the steering wheel when you turn, or the way your clothes shift and rub against each other, and it’s all silent now, and there’s not even music, and-” he takes a deep, shaky breath. Lets it out as evenly as he can. “I just… felt really alone all of a sudden.”
Eddie brushes his thumb along Steve’s cheekbone as he thinks. Suddenly, he grins and moves his hand, shoving a tape into the deck and cranking the sound. He demonstratively puts his hand on the door. Steve laughs and does the same, gasping when he feels the vibrations of the song move through him. He can’t tell notes, but it’s something, and then Eddie carefully reaches for his hand, keeps his grip relaxed until Steve smiles at him and tightens his own fingers around Eddie’s. “Thank you,” he whispers.
Eddie smiles, nods, and gets back on the road.
They arrive at his friend’s apartment in no time, and Steve would be jealous at the length of the hug if Eddie didn’t immediately step back to grab Steve’s hand again. Based on his hand motions, he’s introducing Steve.
She asks Eddie something, and he turns bright red, pulling a strand of hair across his face as he glances at Steve before looking back at her and answering.
She invites them in, scribbles on a little chalkboard, and hands it to Steve with a smile. Hi, Steve! My name is Nicole. It’s nice to meet you.
He grins up at her. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
She takes the chalkboard back, scribbles something else. Eddie tells me you recently lost your hearing. Do you mind me asking about that?
“Not at all,” Steve says, then frowns, somehow just now realizing he doesn’t know the full extent of what happened. “Honestly, all I know is I stood up and got really dizzy, and then I was waking up in the hospital.” He shrugs. “I’ve had a couple of pretty bad concussions, and I guess whatever made me pass out also just… took my hearing.” He shrugs.
Eddie shakes his head, grabs for the chalkboard. Almost. He bites his lip. You passed out, and I wasn’t fast enough. You hit your head on the floor. He looks away, takes a deep breath. I’m sorry.
“That is not your fault, Eds,” Steve tells him firmly. Eddie won’t look him in the eyes, so Steve grabs his chin. “Hey, look at me. Not your fault. I don’t blame you. Okay?”
Eddie shrugs, pointing to himself with a self-deprecating smile, and Steve knows what he’s trying to say. I do.
“Well I don’t,” Steve says. “But if- if you need to hear it. I forgive you, okay?”
Eddie nods, eyes big and wet, and Steve pulls him into a hug.
Eddie suddenly laughs, pulling away to wipe his eyes before saying something to Nicole.
Right. They’re not alone. “Sorry,” he tells her, but she waves him off, handing over the chalkboard again. I think we’ll start on the alphabet today. That way you can at least finger spell what you need, even if it’s slow.
“Sounds good,” he says, and she nods, talking the chalkboard to write the alphabet.
Slowly but surely, she teaches Steve and Eddie the alphabet. They get a little tripped up on some of the letters, most noticeably p and q, until Nicole takes pity on them and makes a p. She uses her other hand to draw a line down both her extended fingers, then tracing her own legs. She taps her thumb, peeking out between the two, and with a mischievous grin, points between Steve and Eddie’s legs.
They share a look and burst out laughing, but they don’t forget those letters again.
By the end of the day, they’ve gotten through the alphabet with enough regularity that Nicole feels they can practice on each other.
Steve pauses before they leave. T-h-a-n-k, then a pause, then y-o-u.
Nicole smiles, presses her fingertips to her lips, then brings her hand down to chest height, palm up. She does the motion again, and Steve copies her, grinning when she nods excitedly.
“Thank you,” he signs and says, grinning even wider when she pulls him into a quick hug before waving at him and Eddie.
They wave back and pile into the van, Steve’s hand in Eddie’s before Steve can practically blink. He smiles, unbearably fond, and squeezes to get his attention before signing, “Thank you.”
Eddie just smiles back, throws the van into reverse, and starts home.
They practice more while they make dinner, throwing words like spatula and stir and chop around, and Steve didn’t realize learning could be this fun.
He’s watching Eddie stir the broth, hips moving in a little dance to a song only Eddie knows, and his heart is so full, he has to say something before his heart bursts. “I’m gonna say something that’s gonna sound incredibly sappy,” he says. “But just… please just listen until the end? And try not to tease me too much.”
Eddie just smiles, grabs his hand and squeezes, and Steve takes a breath before starting.
“I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad you were there that day, I’m glad you were there when I woke up at the hospital, I’m glad you were there when I realized going home meant being completely alone. I’m glad you made a complete fool of yourself in the hospital lobby, doing charades to let me know I could stay here.” He takes a breath. “I’m glad you have Nicole, because it lets me talk with you easier. I’m glad you never once let me feel like I’m alone, or like I’m going through this alone. I’m glad you’re learning with me. I’m glad you’re making this fun. I didn’t know learning could be fun, but it is with you, and I-” he takes a breath, swallows the three words that want to come out. “I’m glad it’s you,” Steve whispers, “here, at the end of all things.”
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Eddie’s hands are cradling his cheeks, wiping away tears. Eddie’s just as teary-eyed, though, and he pulls away, looking for the notebook. Please don’t punch me.
Steve looks up, brows furrowed, to watch Eddie spell something. I l-o-v-
That’s as far as he gets before Steve gasps, understanding, or hoping he understands, and pulls Eddie into a kiss.
He pulls back almost immediately to check that’s correct, that that is what Eddie was trying to say, when Eddie pulls him back in, dinner be damned, crowding him in against the counter and doing his best to lick into Steve’s mouth.
Steve lets him, pulling away for a sharp inhale before diving right back in, fingers tight in Eddie’s hair and the back of his shirt, and there’s a sudden vibration that he just knows means Eddie moans, and suddenly he’s dizzy again, but this time he welcomes it, because this time he’s not passing out; this time, he’s dizzy because he’s drunk on love.
#steddieweek2024#steddieweek#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#platonic stobin#Nancy wheeler#Though she was mostly just mentioned#deaf steve harrington#I’m actually VERY excited about this one :)#I started something like this a while ago but never got to complete it#This is my Redemption#starambles#This story is brought to you by me at all of 5 years old seeing people in a Cracker Barrel signing#And I knew my letters#And I SO confidently marched up to them and finger-spelled my name#Where’d that kid go. I want to be her again#Also brought to you by my time#(more recently)#At a Starbucks and I was able to order COMPLETELY in sign instead of using the pad the hoh barista had#I mean. I was just getting a water. But STILL#I did it! 😂
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happy hozier day to all those who celebrate
#hozier releasing a new ep on his bday which is also st patricks day…big day for irish ppl!#i am canadian idk if any of that means anything#if not i am sorry </3#i’m like 1/8th irish at the very most so </3#i just think it is neat#anyways i’m scheduling this for 12am i will update later with my thoughts on the ep 😁#update: LOVE THEM!!! love the new sound tiktok can suck it i am very excited to see where he goes 😁#st patricks day#eat your young#hozier
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Maybe that something could be with you is such a hopeful sentence coming from a man who’s been so desperately looking for love his entire life…how am I supposed to hear that and not feel hopeful about Buck and Tommy and where they’re going.
#i’m very soft about them today#bucktommy#911 abc#obligatory disclaimer that buck does have love in his life and i do know that so don’t be a dick about it when you know what i mean
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Local big sister experiences emotions, more at 6
Been wanting to do one of these with Lauren for AGES, but I never got round to it. Then I saw the Lydia and Phinium expression sheets on @littledigits’ website and I felt inspiration like never before.
The funniest struggle I have with Lauren’s design right now is that she nose too big for she got damn face. Literally, Hilda characters noses take up a fairly small portion of their faces, and her’s took up WAY too much, leaving little room for her to make facial expressions. But I struggled to find a fix because when I made the nose smaller it just didn’t look like Lauren anymore, so I took this as an opportunity to work on that!
She still has a larger nose than most characters, starting higher up (like her grandad!) and ending lower down (but not quite as low as before). I also made her eyes a little smaller and with a shape similar to Lydia’s (though you can see in some of these I hadn’t quite landed on that yet and her eyes are a bit too big), which works both as a nod to her parentage and because I think it makes the nose look bigger. This still doesn’t leave as much room for the mouth as most other characters, but that’s okay — Lauren is a very private person who keeps her feelings close to her chest, I think it works for her to have subtler expressions, adds to how guarded she is! Oh and I also updated the shape of her hair slightly, just to make it a bit more style accurate.
These changes are pretty small on their own, but I think combined they work well to make Lauren feel a lot more…alive? Far less stiff, anyway. I think she also has a more unique facial structure now, instead of just “what if Johanna was 90% nose”. She’s still got a big old nose and I love it but now she can emote, yay!
This is really all just concept stuff, I’m hoping to get a new fullbody style-ref for Lauren out soon! Now that I’ve improved the main issues I had with her face in the last ref, now it’s onto the silhouette! I want her to read as more of a strong character (though it comes across decently in her current ref, I wanna push it more without being as exaggerated as Ahlberg, which is. A challenge for me lol), streamline her silhouette, and finally make her taller than Johanna like she’s always meant to have been <3 I made her shorter for so long because I thought it would help her read better as her daughter but you know what? That’s dumb actually, she’s tall.
ANYWAYS, thank you for listening in on the annual Lauren redesign, and to the artists behind the show for posting so much amazing inspiring show stopping concept work for free because it makes my autism worse /pos
#her hair will prolly need some slight adjustments to account for her blue streaks but that’s a problem for future Sadie#also#local Sadie can’t stop saying “’local person… more at six’#more at NEVER. STOP IT SADIE ENOUGH#oh and apolgoes 2 @littledigits 4 the tag I do not mean 2 bother u <3#anyways these are not perfect! it’s my first time doing an expression sheet like this#but I’m proud of em anyway!#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#art#my art#digital art#fanart#doodle#Hilda oc#drawing#Hilda Lauren#Hilda fanart#don’t look too closely at the background I was very lazy with editing the template. which is also from littledigits blog#I will probably do more of these one day#I especially wanna work on her angry expressions lol cause if you’ve read plenism you know my girl has anger issues ✨#and she’s worked on the m since but.#she very much still has a temper so long story short her angry expressions are IMPORTANT I think lol#also the third expression on the top row? my favourite genre of Lauren expressions#just experiencing the horrors#oc#my oc#also the expressions are ordered weird I know but I couldn’t be bothered to line them up properly or in a way that makes sense alright shus
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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Hello again, friend of a friend
matrix can have a little evil ex breakup song, as a treat
(OC from Infamous by @infamous-if)
#a solid half of the time the way I make ocs is just by creating the loveliest person ever then going#aren’t you tired of being nice don’t you just wanna go apeshit#at them on repeat#matrix rose is doing just fine (tm)#I mean everything here is directly stolen from that One Scene that I’m not normal about#from scott pilgrim#a film I’m very neutral about#so I don’t know how to tag that#infamous if#infamous oc#when I tell u the Patreon snippets destroyed me emotionally#🫁
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Well Drawfee is officially no longer safe media for me :(
Karina liked multiple tweets conflating a PSA for antisemitism with Israeli propaganda and claiming that Israel planned its assault to coincide with the superbowl…
Julia liked posts claiming that the war isn’t a war. Nobody has liked anything about antisemitism or even acknowledging Jews are in danger right now.
TBH I’m devastated.
I have Drawfee art all over my home. I was actually gonna become a patron this year. I’d literally been saving to make it feasible. This is crushing. I feel sick.
#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#drawfee#heartbroken#debated putting this in the Drawfee tag or not#but ultimately I think it’s important#I don’t wanna start fandom drama or Discourse TM#I just want there to be a record of how their silence on antisemitism#and liking of conspiratorial tweets#is affecting a very fragile community#and Nathan being Jewish doesn’t change this for me#his Jewishness does not shield me from his coworkers antisemitism#even though I wanna believe that antisemitism is unintentional#and I’m so happy for Nathan if he feels supported by his friends and coworkers#he obviously knows them better than I ever will#and I’m not calling in Jews to take sides over this or anything#I’m happy that Nathan doesn’t seem to be affected by this#it must mean he has a wonderful support system and that his friends and coworkers are better#at showing their support irl than they are online#and that is important and valid#but it doesn’t change how it affects Jews like me who only experience them through a screen#and do not have a support system#they don’t owe me anything#I don’t expect anything from any of them#but I also cannot deny that I am harmed#by the fact that they didn’t acknowledge the conflict until it affected people who aren’t Jewish#and have still not acknowledged that it affects people who are Jewish#and I especially cannot handle Karina’s clear support for the idea that a Super Bowl PSA for antisemitism prevention#is somehow a sinister Israeli plot and not evidence of the terrible time that Jews like me are having rn#I feel like I lost a friend tbh
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Fourth of July is so funny cuz it’s the one time every year that people decades past their hetalia phase will wake up in a cold sweat and go “there’s only one character I can draw for this day… 👁️👁️💦”
#the haunting sounds of the American theme sneaking up on them the closer it gets to the fourth#like the jaws theme but it’s an eagle screech#eagles don’t even screech the usa’s a sham#this is a very usa centric post#I dunno maybe people in other countries wake up in a cold sweat on their foundation days and go#no… it’s time 👁️👁️💦#shoutout to all my American Hetalia fans waking up today and remembering that they’re hetalia fans#we will get through this together#I hope I get to glimpse fireworks this year#dude last year was such a bummer#I wanted to do sparklers in the backyard but no one wanted to join me so it was just me doing em myself while my family kept trying to#convince me to come back inside :(((#then my dad went hey this year we should get fireworks#NO#no one can have fun cuz you guys were mean to me last year >:(#slash j btw it’s not a big deal I’m just salty lol#when you’re the only one full of whimsy in your family 😔#happy birthday America#get your shit together#❤️🤍💙#hetalia#aph america#hws america#alfred f jones
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listen I know it’s kind of corny and inaccurate to act like every single person in the dc universe knows each other and is besties but it IS endlessly funny to me to follow the web of connections and see how many degrees removed from each other everyone is.
like look at the arrowfam okay. ollie and dinah are together, ollie is homoerotic best friends with hal, dinah is homoerotic best friends with babs. roy is dating dick, has a kid with jade, and is basically an adoptive father to both grant emerson and rose wilson. connor is dating kyle and is constantly followed around by eddie fyers. mia is friends with a lot of the second gen teen titans kids, had an on-again-off-again thing going on with steph for a while, and is currently dating sienna. emiko is besties with courtney and some of the other recent teen titans. sin has a small army of protective aunts from the birds of prey. the real question is how far does it go before ollie puts a cap on the number of people who are invited to family brunch on sundays
#arrowfam#LIKE. PLSSSS#can you imagine them all in one room.#roy: hey ollie can garth come to brunch this week.. he’s in town and i never get to see him and he really wants to try your pancakes#ollie: idk roy we’re already at max capacity..#roy: please dad🥺🥺🥺🥺#ollie: …..fine. someone will have to be uninvited then#mia: why? what’s one more person?#ollie: bc I have Very Strict Rules!!! If I don’t follow the invite limit then the whole town’ll show up every week!#connor what about axing kyle#connor: …dad. I am not disinviting my boyfriend and Only Guest to brunch bc of your arbritrary rules.#ollie: fine that’s fair. um…#mia: what about grant#ollie: for the last time mia we are not banning your nephew from family brunch because he allegedly#ate some of your bacon one time. it was not a big deal and you need to get over it#mia: UMM‼️‼️ it was a big deal TO ME🗣️🗣️and I don’t appreciate you INVALIDATING my emotions like this‼️‼️#ollie: uhhh emiko what about courtney. she comes over like every week will she be fine sitting this one out#emiko: I can’t believe this. how dare you deny my ONLY FRIEND IN THE WORLD an invitation to brunch. it’s like you hate me#ollie: EMI I KNOW YOU PATENTLY HAVE MORE FRIENDS. who have BEEN TO BRUNCH BEFORE.#emiko: YOU CAN’T TAKE COURTNEY FROM MEEEEEE#ollie: FINE ok.#roy: why don’t you just tell hal not to come all the way down here for brunch I mean he’s here every week anyway#ollie: bc it’s hal okay. mind your own business.#roy: fine. but we’re running out of people#connor: I mean………. what about eddie#ollie: ………….. yeah ok I’m sold. that works. meeting adjourned good job team#mia: why are you so worked up about keeping attendance low anyway#ollie: MY KITCHEN TABLE CAN ONLY FIT SO MANY SUPERHEROES MIA
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friendly reminder that the hexsquad was initiated because of three kids of color who found love and acceptance in each other after being considered ‘freaks’ especially adding that they all got mistreaten by the very limiting school system
#and they’re all VERY neurodivergent coded people (luz more than the other two but still)#and luz and Willow are canonically queer plus I think Gus is too#i love amity and hunter ESPECIALLY after they joined the squad but I’m feeling the nostalgia right now#anyways. their friendship means so much to me <3#I’m missing them right now#willow park#luz noceda#gus porter#hexsquad#hextrio#toh#the owl house#og hexsquad
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I know we’ve all been calling Eddie‘s moustache, his gay moustache and I’m as guilty of it as the next person, but the reality is moustache he’s gave far more symbolism than being gay - in fact the gay moustache is actually a very recent thing (the 1970’s!) and an intentional movement by the gay community to subvert cultural stereotypes.
You see the moustache has been symbolic throughout history. They have been symbols of wisdom (think long Chinese moustaches), status (in parts of rajput India, historically only those of an upper caste could wear a moustache so it was associated with being ‘higher born’) and in Europe and America it was a symbol of masculinity and male virility. Indeed many European armies required officers and often enlisted men to wear moustaches. So its association with the military is long founded (apart from the equipment only allowing moustaches, it’s also a part of the reason firefighter swear them - because it is a male dominated career and therefore the moustache is a symbol of masculinity) and predates the moustache as a symbol of queerness.
All of this combined with Eddie diaz having one at this point in time is so interesting, especially because we now know that he’s going to symbolically shave it off on screen as a part of his emotional arc.
Eddie growing a moustache in the aftermath of the Shannon/Kim of it all - the fact Eddie has clearly not dealt with loosing Shannon or his grief, and there is a lot of other emotions and things tied up in dealing with that grief is super important. Eddie growing a moustache is him expressing his masculinity - tying himself to his heteronormative relationship and his military past.
To Eddie right now - his military past is when he had Shannon - it’s when he had a ‘complete family’. He isn’t seeing the cracks in the walls or the fact the foundation is made of quicksand. He isn’t able to see that his In his mind that is when he was happy and that is why he can’t grieve. Which is why he’s grown a moustache - because he’s clinging to his masculinity and the time when he felt he had control over his life.
It is essentially Eddie breakdown 2.0 and in the same way breakdown 1.0 came with a new haircut, but ultimately allowed him to process and deal with part of his trauma, breakdown 2.0 is likely to be the same thing. This time, likely dealing with Shannon and very likely the fact that she was essentially a ‘beard’ for him (even if he wasn’t fully cognisant of it at the time - I genuinely believe he loves(d) Shannon - but I also believe she enabled him to not have to look at himself too closely and keep himself in the closet) so shaving off that moustache is symbolic of shedding his beard (because he’s a firefighter and cannot have a full beard) and embracing his true authentic self.
So Eddie’s moustache is a symbol of his queerness - but only when he shaves it off.
#this is incoherent so I’m very sorry#but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Eddie shaving off his moustache on screen#I’m very much going to cry watching him shave it off - because of the symbolism of him freeing himself from his past#and it’s going to be beautiful#the history and meaning of moustaches is something I did a bit of a deep dive into when we first saw Eddie with one#but I didn’t post them because I wanted to see if we got any more information#(and I was having fun with the gay pornstache jokes)#but now I’m over here screaming about his moustache and its meaning#it’s departure is a symbol of his freedom from his past and the closet he’s trapped himself in#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#Eddie’s moustache#911 abc#s8
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part One
For Xiantober Day One: Genius… albeit stretching the prompt so it refers to MXTX and MDZS itself, but at the end of the day it’s still about WWX – so no harm done!
(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
The narrative is a very active player in MDZS’ story. How it presents information, what it chooses to show and omit, often reflects important facets of its themes and characters – Nie Huaisang, for instance, is so good at hiding behind his mask that not even the narrative can hold him accountable; the present day’s storyline as a murder mystery and the slow reveal of information about the past both prompt the reader to think critically about the truth of events, when the importance of thinking critically is an important theme; and the dangers not thinking critically (and instead basing conclusions on rumours without much evidence) are shown by tricking unquestioning readers into the very same trap the cultivation world falls into, as the information given by the title, summary and in-universe rumours – which contradicts how we see actually Wei Wuxian act – turns out to be false.
But nowhere do I love this trait more than in its treatment of Wei Wuxian – and, more specifically, in its way of emphasising his agency. We’re not just told how much his active choices define his character, and we’re not just shown this in-universe through his personality, worldview and the events he causes. I’d argue that this aspect goes a step further, and shapes the structure of the out-of-universe narrative as well.
There are two main ways this happens: one, in how the aspects of Wei Wuxian’s life that are shown and hidden directly tell us what’s important about his character (which is good writing but isn’t necessarily tied to this shaping of the narrative), which is what we’ll explore today; and two, how what’s shown and hidden reflects what Wei Wuxian himself prefers to dwell on, resulting in the narrative respecting his own thoughts and feelings on matters (which very much is tied to it). We’ll explore this at a later date.
But as for now – let’s explore my favourite aspect of MDZS.
(Here, narrative agency will be considered the ability of a character to meaningfully influence their events and the story they’re in.)
Tragedy, Circumstance, Choice
If we simply look at Wei Wuxian’s backstory in a vacuum, it seems almost typically tragic. His parents died in circumstances beyond his control, he was left alone as a child with nobody to care for him, he was forced to grow up fending for himself on the streets, he was faced with abuse when he finally was taken in… as with all typical woobies, everything simply happened to him, and none of it was good. It’s just another example of the lack of agency being used for sympathy points, right?
…Except there’s one problem with that idea. We don’t actually see any of this.
It would’ve been easy to start the flashbacks during these times. We’re telling the story of Wei Wuxian in (largely) chronological order, and these are likely important experiences for him! But instead of starting in his street days, or evenat the moment Jiang Fengmian took him in*, we start at the lectures in the Cloud Recesses. That’s not even something mentioned in, and therefore something that’s able to disprove, the rumours at the start of the novel. So why is this the case?
Well, there are multiple reasons – the main one being that MDZS is also Lan Wangji’s (and Wangxian’s) story, and having the flashbacks open with their first meeting is very satisfying. But I want to focus on something else.
This period doesn’t have to be shown, because what happens to Wei Wuxian, especially out of his control, isn’t what’s important about his character.
We’re not even at Lotus Pier here, where Wei Wuxian certainly has more agency than he would’ve had as a young child, but where the harm caused by Madame Yu is still completely out of his control. Here, he has agency! Though there are consequences, he is free to act, and what happens to him is a result of those actions and not of circumstance. Yes, he gets punished more than others who also take those same actions (due to classism); yes, it’s not his choice to be picked on by Lan Qiren in class (yet look how he responds, twisting the situation to his advantage and ending up tricking Lan Qiren into letting him leave, which is what he wanted to do. He is not at all helpless here!); yes, these choices have been influenced by his learned mindset from Madame Yu that punishment is arbitrary and will happen anyway, so you may as well do what you want regardless. But there is cause-and-effect here. It’s not circumstantial tragedy.
Therefore, instead of our first impression of past!Wei Wuxian being that of an unfortunate woobie, it’s of someone who has the freedom, ability and will to choose and act (and that’s after these initial tragic events have taken place). This is compounded by the fact that before we see any of his backstory, we get a similar impression of him in the present day.
If the purpose of his tragic past was to earn him sympathy points, to make us pity him due to how much he was influenced by events out of his control, this would’ve been a terrible way of going about it… and it’s this that betrays the true reason for its existence. Because now, the flashbacks instead show us how little these tragedies define who he is! From the very start, Wei Wuxian isn’t someone defined by circumstances out of his control, but rather by who he is as a person and by what choices he makes in the present day (which is both a mindset in-universe, and a nice little out-of-universe detail that lines up! Because out-of-universe, this means he’s not defined by sympathy points from a backstory, but rather by his great character writing… aka, by who he is as a person and what choices he makes). And this refusal to be defined by tragedy is a conscious choice on his part, too – but we’ll explore that more later.
The important thing is that this idea of Wei Wuxian isn’t because of what exists in his past, it’s because of what parts of his past are shown to us (as well as what he chooses to do, with agency, in the present).
Now, if this relationship between what’s displayed and what’s omitted was just a one-time thing, I might’ve considered it a cool detail or a nice way to establish a character, but not something the narrative is actively focusing on. But it’s a pattern that continues throughout the flashbacks. What, arguably, are the two other most important times in Wei Wuxian’s life where he doesn’t have enough agency to meaningfully influence his circumstances? His three months in the Burial Mounds (before escaping – he managed to assume some control of the circumstances but not enough to substantially reduce his suffering in his time there), and his loss and death during the First Siege. And we’re not shown either of them! We skip to when Wei Wuxian has emerged from the Burial Mounds and is torturing the Wens, or we skip to the present day – both times he has agency once more, because, again, what he’s like without it doesn’t matter enough to be shown.
Furthermore, I’d argue this does actually contrast the other tragic events we see in Wei Wuxian’s later life. Things do go horribly wrong, but it’s either due to choices he knows the consequences of (see: rescuing the Wen Remnants in the first place), or instances where he still has some ability to act in the situation and influence it within the limitations. If he’d had no ability to influence circumstances at Qiongqi path, he would have died in the ambush; if he’d been unable to do that at Nightless City, he would’ve died then, too (of course Lan Wangji helped him escape as well). The attention drawn to him losing control of his actions in both instances is very interesting, but intentional or not, it’s still his actions influencing the plot. And that influence happens to be detrimental. The very ability to act and influence, at a base level, is not taken away (though, of course, that doesn’t make these events any less tragic).
So, so far, the narrative seems to be telling us that the ability to act and choose is key to Wei Wuxian’s character. And it’s doing it through omitting his moments without agency in favour of instead showing us his moments with it.
Let’s see if this is echoed in the text itself before we go further – because even with this pattern, nothing would end up mattering if Wei Wuxian’s agency wasn’t actually that important to the story itself. But thankfully it is, and that first impression we get of Wei Wuxian in the Cloud Recesses turns out to very much be accurate! Though there are defining circumstances out of his control that occur, such as the massacre of Lotus Pier, the majority of the important events of his life are due to his own choices. He didn’t happen to be forced to cease traditional cultivation and solely use guidao, didn’t happen to lose his Golden Core in a fight with Wen Zhuliu or due to some force in the Burial Mounds, it was his own choice to give it and his spiritual powers away. He didn’t tragically happen to get targeted by the cultivation world, it was a result of him acting on his morals and protecting the Wen remnants (a choice which he was fully aware of the implications of). He isn’t a protagonist to whom things simply occur, and that activeness and agency is my favourite thing about him.
That’s not to say that the times Wei Wuxian doesn’t have agency, or feels like he doesn’t have any, don’t exist at all, either – but they are rare enough to have attention directly drawn to them in his internal narration:
Or else what could he do? He could do nothing. He was powerless. Lotus Pier had been destroyed, both Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu were gone, and Jiang Cheng had disappeared as well. He was the only one left, alone, with not even a sword in his hands. He didn’t know anything, he couldn’t do anything! For the first time, he discovered how little his power was. In front of something as large as the QishanWen Sect, it was the same as a mantis trying to stop a chariot. - Chapter 59, EXR translation
(And even in this circumstance, note that he still does force himself to act – to carry on searching for Jiang Cheng, to place his faith in Wen Ning – and does accomplish his goal (albeit with the help of others)! So even in dire situations, he isn’t simply passive. This is actually also the case with his time in the Burial Mounds, almost certainly the First Siege, and even his days on the streets as well (Chapter 20: he did actively fight with dogs to get food despite their danger and his growing fear of them, rather than just waiting and hoping to somehow receive some more). He can’t influence or immediately influence his circumstances, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.)
Overall, although they do influence him, Wei Wuxian is very much who he is in spite of his circumstances, not because of them. We’re shown the importance of his agency both in-universe by the major impacts his choices have on himself and the plot, as well as by narrative presentation – important periods where he lacks the ability to meaningfully influence anything are often mentioned but not directly shown, which suggests that such moments and circumstances aren’t as important to understanding Wei Wuxian’s character as moments where he does have this agency are. And I’d argue this works very well. Depending on the version of the story you consume, you may end up having different interpretations as to how much circumstances were at play nearer the end of his life – but nobody comes out of MDZS thinking about Wei Wuxian, the poor bearer of yet another generically tragic backstory.
(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
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*We are shown this moment in more detail in Chapter 23… but even then, it’s through the framing of Wei Wuxian remembering Jiang Yanli’s narration, not through a flashback proper or even him remembering the experience itself!
#there are three parts to this#part two dwelling on how wwx not dwelling on tragedy is a conscious choice#part three about how that choice and wwx’s preferences are ALSO behind what’s shown and what’s not#i originally wanted to post them all at once but life was very busy and they haven’t been finished yet#and i wanted to release SOMETHING on this day (it is after midnight but i haven’t slept yet and in a lot of timezones it’s not yet)#judging by the current length of it it’s probably better to be posting individual parts anyway…#so here we go#a complete version will br put on ao3 when done#also because i’m not sure where to put it in the meta – i’m aware external circumstances did impact this too#eg mxtx not wanting to write power-up/transformation sequences influencing her not to write wwx’s time in the burial mounds#i’m also aware a lot of this could be writing efficiency and not the deeper meanings i’ll (mostly later) assign to it#ultimately there’s not enough evidence either way to say if this was intentional or not#(i don’t doubt mxtx is an amazing writer but *i* feel i’m overanalysing while writing this which i do tend to do)#but even if it wasn’t it’s still a part of the story#and it still remains one of the things i love it the most#so i WILL explore it (taking the approach of death of the author here – i do believe context is important but i just love this throughline-#-so much)#xiantober#xiantober day 1#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#wwx#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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