#is affecting a very fragile community

[edenfenixblogs]

Well Drawfee is officially no longer safe media for me :(

Karina liked multiple tweets conflating a PSA for antisemitism with Israeli propaganda and claiming that Israel planned its assault to coincide with the superbowl…

Julia liked posts claiming that the war isn’t a war. Nobody has liked anything about antisemitism or even acknowledging Jews are in danger right now.

TBH I’m devastated.

I have Drawfee art all over my home. I was actually gonna become a patron this year. I’d literally been saving to make it feasible. This is crushing. I feel sick.

[astrolovecosmos]

The Ascendant & What Your Birth May Represent

The 12th House represent the womb, while the first, and especially the ascendant represents birth. The ascendant and 1st House can describe how your birth impacted your parents or family and your parents/family's expectations of you from a young age.

Aries Ascendant - May be someone's first child, the first child in a family to do something, parents/family have high hopes for them, may expect them to be their own person, expect them to win or be the best, their birth may represent a fresh start to their parent(s). Your birth may have surprised a family member. Family may expect you to be confident and/or ambitious.

Taurus Ascendant - Your birth likely was seen as something beautiful and/or expected/highly planned. Your birth could have been traditional in some way. Parent(s) or family expect peace, dependability, loyalty, obedience, hard work, and patience from you. Your birth may have stabilized or strengthened someone, a couple, or a family. Family may nurture your practicality, creativity, and determination.

Gemini Ascendant - Expectations from family members are likely varied, maybe changeable. A family member may constantly change what they expect from you. Each family member may expect something vastly different. Your birth may have brought family together even if it was temporary, especially family that may be estranged, distant, or rivalries. Family expectations likely revolve around intellect, academia, or social skills and standing. Your birth may bring energy or youthfulness back to a family member. Your birth may have greatly impacted your sibling(s). Your birth may have been the talk of the family or the town, for better or worse. You may have a reputation at a very young age, if not immediately.

Cancer Ascendant - Parents, especially the mother may have been working hard for your birth, maybe wishing and praying for it often. This could indicate a difficult birth or just a lot of preparation work from your family. One parent or family member likely stands out the most in their expectations of you. Your birth may have been very private, traditional, and/or with extra protection or care. You are expected to be understanding, loyal to family, and caring. During your birth and infanthood you likely were highly cherished. Your parents/family were highly sensitive, receptive, and intuitive in the earliest moments of your life. May expect you to be sensitive, shy, fragile or the complete opposite - strong, enduring, hard, usually little room for anything in-between. Your birth may have been the catalyst to family bonding or healing.

Leo Ascendant - The golden child is born! Expectations for this baby tend to be HIGH, grand, and may involve wealth, legacy, tradition, and/or honor. Parents/family take a lot of pride in their new child and role as guardians. Excitement, celebration, and joy revolve around your birth. Family may want your genuine happiness, to follow your heart, while some family members may try to control you. Pay attention to the family that supports you. Family expects you to lead by example, be decisive, and be your whole self or always your best self. Your birth was likely big news in the family or community. Expectations at times can feel larger than life. Family may have supported their creativity, passion, and individuality. Your birth was approached with affection, admiration, passion, and devotion. Family could have nurtured self-esteem a lot.

Virgo Ascendant - Parents may have expected you to be perfect, productive, or supportive. Parents may see you as pure, innocent, timid, or good-hearted. Expectations may be very high at a young age or even before you were born. Your family may have high practical and academic expectations. May be the good news or celebration in a time of misfortune for the family. Can signify the start of healing for a family member or dynamic. Your birth may have been memorable and/or a lot of thought likely went into preparing for you.

Libra Ascendant - Parents/family may expect you to bring peace to the family, to mend ties. Parents likely see your birth as something positive, idealistic, beautiful, and deserved. May expect you to be easygoing, level-headed, and cooperative. Your birth may bring a lot of family members together and can promote harmony. You may be the favorite baby in the family or at least the new favorite. Family members tend to adore you, be jealous of your birth, and/or accommodate you.

Scorpio Ascendant - May have been born during a dark or intense time in the family. May have a difficult birth. Expectations may surround emotional needs of the parents/family. You may be expected to make sacrifices for your family, to be the healer and motivator, maybe the inheritor to a family's power, business, wealth, traditions, etc. Your birth was a transformative power in your family's lives. One family member likely stood out in their bond with you which was highly intimate, deep, and influential compared to any other relative. You are expected to be fiercely loyal to your family. Your birth may have brought sensitivity, vulnerability, and introspection to many family members.

Sagittarius Ascendant - Your birth may be a spiritual experience for your parent(s), may be the family's "hope" somehow, associated with parents having a lot of optimism towards your birth, parents may feel "blessed" by your life/birth. Your birth may be an awakening of some kind to a family member or a moment of truth. May have been born far away from your homeland or culture. Family expects you to go far in life. Expectations may be grandiose or even unrealistic, abstract, or misleading. Family may expect you to have a happy life or to chase what you love. Is expected to be generous, funny, carefree, and honest. Family may put a lot of moral expectations on you, always seeing you as "good" ethically or spirituality.

Capricorn Ascendant - Your birth may have given your parents a great purpose, your birth could have been purposeful. Expectations may be very demanding or burdening. May have been expected to mature quickly. Expectations may also be highly centered on career, wealth, and reputation. Birth may have been traditional and/or possibly challenging. Birth may have been a major focus for their father or grandparents. Family may see your birth as something planned and expected, an advantage, a great responsibility, hard work, or a reward. Your family or a family member may mature and grow a lot due to your birth. Your birth may have also stabilized a situation, family, or parents. You could have been a bossy baby or demanded a lot of attention. But being a very "well-behaved" baby is also associated.

Aquarius Ascendant- Their birth was likely unusual in some way (of course). Their birth may have also been sudden or chaotic. Their birth likely brought a lot of people together, or the polar opposite, was very private, separated, or away. Their birth could have been from an act of rebellion. Expectations may revolve around intellectual, academic, or social standards. Expectations may be around independence, but also possibly being a rule follower. Expectations may have been uncommon compared to their peers or society. Their birth could be seen as something hopeful, new, exciting, or shocking. Expectations may come from their community, friends, or a group or organization they are apart of from a young age more so than their family. Strong expectations may have come from someone or something outside of the family and their family helps enforce this lifestyle, belief, or goals held by the outsiders. May also have expectations that are rebellious against some sort of group the family is apart of or used to be apart of. Expectations may revolve a lot around cooperation, adaptability, social intelligence, and social influence. Birth may have felt like something insightful or enlightening to the parent(s).

Pisces Ascendant - Birth may have felt mystical, spiritual, or even religious to their family. Birth may have helped a family member become more empathetic or tolerant. Expectations may be fantastical or unrealistic. Parents or family may be highly open-minded in expectations for you. Parents or family could be very supportive and forgiving. Expectations could revolve around emotional intelligence, adaptability, and perception. Family may expect you to be sensitive, fragile, and/or easily influenced. Family may nurture creativity, empathy, and people skills.

[secriden]

I'm sorry, ya'll, but I fully cannot move on from this. What the fuck. The simple joy in Fadel's face here. The way he's just fixated on Style -- who is not even doing anything but catching his breath, eyes closed, attention not even on Fadel in this moment -- but just the fact that he's here, the fact that Fadel gets to be beside him like this, that there's no secrets between them and Fadel doesn't have to hide behind a mask of indifference or pretend to be disinterested anymore.

The way there's something anticipatory in Fadel's expression, like he just can't wait for Style to turn towards him, like he's learned to expect good things from Style when their eyes meet, the way it suggests he's become comfortable with finding happiness and an answer to his affection in Style's eyes.

(I think this scene is really standing out to me so much because Joong has been intentionally keeping Fadel a bit of a mystery in THK. And I do think it's been intentional because as Kluen in SIMM, Joong was very good at always letting the audience know what Kluen was feeling even if the other characters (Dao, especially) didn't seem to catch on. But for Fadel, it felt like we aren't supposed to be privy to Fadel's true thoughts and emotions beyond hints and glimpses.

So to suddenly get this kind of open fondness and unfiltered delight; to get such a clear communication of unspoken yet apparent affection from Fadel is SO FUCKING AMAZING?? Like I don't think Fadel's reached this level of blatant fondness yet in the series -- not in Episode 6 when they were in their honeymoon phase, and still not even now, at the end of episode 9, because the way Fadel's affection is being expressed still feels fragile and tender and new.

But these clips from the My Fuel MV feel like they come after they've had time to settle and BE together. Fadel is so open because he has learned that there is nothing to fear in his adoration of Style, like Style is the physical embodiment of Fadel's ability to experience true joy, and by GOD that makes me so fucking happy!!)

[cocoandthequill]

Uninvited Pt. 1

Part 2

Pairing: !Dark!Rick Grimes x !Neighbour! Reader

Summary: After welcoming a new group into Alexandria things start getting strange. You feel as if someone is by your side at all times.

Warnings: Stalking, Harassment, Obsessive Behaviour, Sexual Remarks, Manipulation, Corruption, Age Gap, Rick being creepy

Rick Grimes should have never opened the door when you knocked.

It all started the day after his arrival in Alexandria. There you stood, a basket of homemade baked goods in your small hands, a bright, toothy smile on your doll-like, freckled face. You couldn’t have been any older than your early twenties."Good morning, Mr. Grimes. My name is Y/n. I wanted to introduce myself and welcome you to our community. Let me know if you need help with anything," you chirped.

The man was more than just intrigued. Honestly, he was a bit taken aback by how bold you seemed. From what he’d observed about the other residents, they all seemed pretty reserved. But you weren’t intimidated by him—not even a little. A guy who had clearly been discussed all around town already. They probably called him all sorts of things: a killer, a neanderthal, a madman.But he wasn’t planning on killing you. Oh no… he had very clear plans for this little angel. That’s what he decided to call you the moment his eyes landed on your small frame for the first time.

From that day on, you were the only thing important enough to occupy his mind. Rick spent his days consumed by thoughts of you and your innocent, girlish demeanor. He knew it was all just an act, and he was determined to corrupt you once and for all.

He was going to make you crave him just as much as he craved you.

To achieve this and make you all his, he created a plan.It started off pretty simple, actually. Rick managed to coerce Deanna into giving him a spare set of keys that would allow him to enter all the properties on the grounds of Alexandria. He had a talent for persuading people into giving him what he wanted. He justified it as a way to ensure the community’s safety—checking for hidden threats, securing vulnerable spots. But deep down, he knew it was about more than that. Having the keys meant he could always be close to his angel, and he would be able to protect you at any time. And you didn’t even have to know it.

So, then he started sneaking into your house. At first, he only came to you in the deep of night, when he was sure everyone else in town would be fast asleep. He would watch his precious girl while she was sleeping, her peaceful breaths and gentle movements under the covers making his heart race. It was like he was witnessing something sacred, something fragile, and he was the protector of it all. His hands itched to reach out, to touch your silky skin, but he always resisted. He couldn’t risk getting caught—not yet. Not when you still saw him as just another neighbor, someone who might wave at you in passing or help you carry your groceries.

Instead, he started leaving you little gifts. This was his way of showing you affection. He would leave roses in every single room of your house. Sometimes he would even come in broad daylight. Then, he got even bolder and started leaving you notes. He was always direct when stating what he wanted to do to you, though he always made sure to keep the messages subtle enough that you wouldn’t feel threatened—at least not at first. His words were wrapped in polite phrases, almost poetic in a way, but there was no mistaking the intent behind them. The notes would be left where you’d find them: on your kitchen counter, under your pillow, tucked into the pages of your favorite book.

"I can’t stop thinking about the way you look when you laugh. You are so beautiful and you make me feel alive again, angel."

At first, you might have thought they were just innocent gestures, a quirky way of showing appreciation for a friendly neighbor. But as time went on, you began to feel a growing unease, a sense that there was something more lurking beneath the surface. Each gift seemed to carry an unspoken message, an invitation to something deeper, something darker.

One evening, after you found a particularly unsettling note hidden in your coat pocket, you decided to confront him. This had just entirely crossed the line.

"I enjoy watching you play with yourself. Just image what my head could do between your thighs if you would just succumb and become my little slut.“

The next time you saw Rick, he was standing in his usual spot on the porch, eyes scanning the street as if waiting for something. You approached with the note clenched tightly in your hand, your heart pounding in your chest."Mr. Grimes," you said, your voice steady despite the nerves twisting in your stomach. "We need to talk."

Rick turned slowly, his expression unreadable at first. Then, when his gaze landed on the note, his lips curled into a small, almost imperceptible smile."I figured you'd find it eventually," he said, his voice low and almost tender. "I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me."

You shook your head, backing away slightly. "This isn't normal, Rick. You can’t just—"

He stepped closer, his presence overwhelming as he cut you off. "It is normal for me, angel," he said softly. "You make me feel alive again. You make me want to protect you, to keep you safe... in ways you can't even begin to understand yet."

The words hung in the air like a weight, suffocating you. For a moment, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. Everything in you screamed to run, to escape, but your feet stayed frozen.

Rick wasn’t just a neighbor anymore. He wasn’t just someone you had met briefly and hoped to befriend, maybe even felt a bit attracted to at one point. He had become something much more dangerous. And in that moment, as he took another step forward, you realized just how deeply entangled you were in his web.

Rick Grimes had already claimed you. And now, there was no escaping him.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Dad!Simon "Ghost" Riley w/ a sick baby Headcanons and Imagines list

Am I back with the Dad!Ghost content? You know damn well I am, also yes the render I used is courtesy of our beloved @ave661 who's most definitely annoyed by my existence by now for constantly tagging her.

Will I ever stop writing Dad!Ghost? Fuck no, why? Daddy issues and baby fever, if you want anyone to blame, it's those two. And yes, I will be upset if this doesn't do well. (AHEM, MY SOAP POST)

Taglist of who I this would enjoy this and requested: @puff0o0, @blingblong55, @cutenote, @wise-owl and @connorsui. This last creator by far has given me the best fucking commentary on my work and I have more works on and coming about Dad!Ghost, genuinely thank you so freaking much, you made me cry 😭.

I'M BACK! Let's start, shall we?

❥ Dad!Simon who's a very nervous first time father, well there's a first for everything and so is the first time your guys' baby got sick.

❥ Dad!Simon who immediately got them a check up, it was a common flu. Naturally medication and antibiotics were prescripted.

❥ Dad!Simon whose heart melts once he hears the soft whimpers of discomfort of the little on as they stir in the crib. The soft raspy cries and flushed chubby cheeks and warm, almost burning temperature.

❥ Dad!Simon who is trying his hardest not to look back the car seat when you were on your way to the clinic, to check on the baby whose little cheeks are bouncing a bit while being entertained by their pacifier, the little cooling patch on their head making their forehead crinkle a bit.

❥ Dad!Simon who was amused by how talkative the little one still is despite being so drowsy and in pain. Babbling their little heart out while sniffling.

"Dada!" the little on calls for Simon, almost in a screaming manner if it wasn't for the poor little thing's scratchy and sore throat.

They let out incoherent babbles to Simon as if trying to tell him something, as if they're chatting like they used to, the only adjustments being the constant sniffles and coughs. Them being reduced to their clogged nose while trying so hard to communicate. (Here's your visual)

Simon took the warm baby bottle from your hands to feed the little one.

"Bee, slow down.." A new nickname picked up by Simon to give to your little one, bumblebee, trying to tell them to slow down from chugging.

❥ Dad!Simon who never thought the baby wouldn't get any more clingy, at least not until they got sick. Constantly asking for "dada" and "mama" while he goes on about his day trying to help his wife, you, to keep up with the chores around the house.

❥ Dad!Simon who feels a bit guilty because he loves the comfort he's able to provide the baby, especially that they're not comfortable and less than happy with the sickness. Having the baby on his chest, patting their fragile back gently with a hand that's almost bigger than their body as their dad's heartbeat lulls them to sleep despite being irritable the whole day.

❥ Dad!Simon who joins in when the baby entertains themselves while playing with the various rattles and teething toys.

Bumblebee shaking the tiny rattle, a bit in frustration, knocking their self back. Luckily Simon had intense reflexes and managed to slip his hand in time between the cushioned but still quite hard floor and the baby's tiny head.

Simon let out a breath of relief, "You sure know how to scare me, don't you bee?"

The baby let out a strained giggle as their dad guided them to sit back up by their head and back.

❥ Dad!Simon who slightly chuckles when the baby's breathing starts picking up, their lips trembling into a pout, little doe eyes starting to get glassy from the tears forming with a pitched whimper, only to be silenced by a kiss from both you and Simon. The toll of the sickness only ever being reduced with yours and his affection.

❥ Dad!Simon who tries his best to make the baby take the prescripted medicine, that baby did NOT like the taste of it and he had to resort to sneaking it in their food to hide the taste of the bitter syrup.

❥ Dad!Simon who makes the little one blow their tiny nose.

"Come on pumpkin, copy dada okay?" Simon whispers while exhaling loudly out his nose, careful with the baby's sensitive ears.

The sleepy eyes of the little one trailing on him, trying to observe and copy, blowing their nose on the soft wipes Simon held against their nose.

After wiping it, Simon noticed how their nose now unclogged helped they sleep far more easier and with less frustration from them.

Shout out to a very consistent person who has been liking all the things I post despite them not being actual content @poohkie90 <3

Also I had no idea @simp4konig and I were mutuals, I'M FANGIRLING SO HARD WHEN I SAW THE LIKED POST NOTIF.

Sidenote: I'm sick rn y'all, like it just kept on coming. First was my period, then next thing I knew my nose is clogged and I'm sniffling, then the next I'm coughing and sneezing. There's so much blood rn I can't even. I don't feel good at all but I'm pushing through. Apologies if this was shorter than most if you expected from me, I wanted to elaborate on this prompt however I don't have much ideas so I'm sorry to disappoint.

[wisejudgedragonhairdo]

My side of the @holybibly dumpster fire.

Since my moots, especially @moilele talked about the whole Valerie aka @holybibly situation in their posts about her, it's about time I shared my side of this whole fiasco she caused.

Warning: Contains a lot of swearing, mentions of rape, bullying, harassment and other distressing things. And I will not hold back nor take back anything I say.

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Now that aside....

Valerie aka @holybibly, you mean to fucking tell me that you chose to start A SMEAR CAMPAIGN AGAINST ME and @moilele by making hate posts about us AND send your bottom feeding, lowlife, braindead, deluded cult followers to harass her and me all because we chose not to support your sick, depraved behaviour in how you chose to treat @moilele for giving you constructive criticsim on your work!?!?!!?!

REVOLTING.

@moilele as well my other moots stated the truth in how you use the word "rape" in your fics without even bothering to give proper warnings to readers.

You even did so in your post you made for me on my birthday where it literally says "raping you" in the screenshot below, Valerie. And WITHOUT ANY WARNINGS WHATSOEVER.

When I saw this part on my birthday last year, I felt uncomfortable reading it but I brushed it off to avoid coming off as "ungrateful".

Now I could not care less of your weak, fickle feelings, Valerie as to make matters worse, you made a hate post about me for your lowlife gremlins to attack me and put dirt on my name LITERALLY A DAY AFTER MY 22ND BIRTHDAY which was this Monday week.

Imagine being in my position, where you're out in your town with your parent on a Tuesday afternoon, THE DAY AFTER YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY, you open up to Tumblr after being in uni for over 5 hours and you see this smear campaign of a post about you, made by a blogger you used to have high regard for and her cult zombies making hateful comments about you based on the twisted, false narrative that blogger chose to create about you. All because you commented on how poorly they chose to react to being given constructive criticism on their work on the day before AKA YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY, the very day before that narcissistic filth of a post was made.

Oh and along with them playing the victim in your DMs + violating your privacy, which is a human right to have privacy, by the way.

As a result to all this above, I was so distressed to the extent I cried in my bedroom after hours of holding back tears.

And I do not give a bloodied dead rat's ass if your demented, narcissistic ass and your mentally decapitated followers say I'm an attention seeker, an attention whore, I'm "playing the victim" or "I'm garnering sympathy" for saying how your vile actions affected me as I am spreading awareness to other people in this community about how much of an awful, detestable, piss poor excuse of an individual you are, Valerie.

And to @swtblue, who made a hilarious claim that I "betrayed Valerie" when I unfollowed her + called her out for her actions. Talk about being delusional. I don't owe that bitch a goddamn thing. Besides we weren't even that close even though we did talk a lot in summer 2024. 🥴🥴🥴 Also to all Valerie's dull-minded enablers who chose to attack me on her hate post for calling her out + liking that post (including my former mutual @therealcuppicake who I have blocked), especially that anon who supposedly "knew there was somthing weird about me".

How laughably pathetic, talk about being deluded pitbulls for a lowlife who's using you all to boost her fragile ego. But sure, go ahead, feel free to pretend you have this amazing intuition that supposedly proves I'm "fake" if that makes you feel better about yourself.🤣🤣🤣

I dare you all to say all that bullshit out of your rotten, decayed mouths you all got from sucking Valerie's unwashed clit, without going anonymous. I'll just laugh in all of your faces along with reporting and blocking you.🤣🤣🤣

Also another thing, Valerie. The fact that you USED THE WAR IN UKRAINE to justify your actions truly shows that you are a deplorable, vile, despicable, WORTHLESS PIECE OF REVOLTING SHIT THAT EVEN PIGS WILL VOMIT AT THE PURE THOUGHT OF BEING ANYWHERE EVEN REMOTELY NEAR YOU AND THEY LIVE IN FILTH!!!

I wouldn't even spit on you and your cult followers if you all were on fire. As a matter of fact, I WILL MORE THAN HAPPILY WATCH YOU ALL BURN DOWN TO ASHES CAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU ALL DESERVE FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME AND @moilele .

As for you threatening to sue us for standing up for ourselves against your disgusting, barbaric behaviour, I say BRING IT ON!! Let's see how anyone in a court room will take you or anything you say seriously.🥴🥴🥴

Especially since YOU don't know the true, dictionary defintion of manhandling;

Manhandling: handle (someone) roughly by dragging or pushing.

NOT whatever bullcrap you said in this screenshot below.

Your whiny tangent about you being this supposed "princess who's VIP in your job" is all lies and bullshit to make yourself look more threatnening and intimidating than you actually are, Valerie.🤣🤣🤣

You want to start a battle with me and the people I care about? I WILL BRING YOU A FUCKING WAR.

I am not even the slightest bit afraid of you and neither are any of my moots.

I do not give two flying fucks about your mental health being "ruined" by the "bullyling and harassment" you supposedly got when @moilele 's OWN MOTHER had to make a statement to get you to stop tormenting her.

That is how vile and horrid you are, Valerie.

You dare send yourself and/or your minions to harass me and/or my moots, you and you cult followers will wish your parents smashed your head with a boulder when they birthed all your abominable asses once you're dealt with it.

You and your sewage minded enablers can laugh and boast all you want, karma will come back to haunt each and every one of you, especially you Valerie.

It may not happen immediately BUT IT WILL COME KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR and me + my moots (along with everyone who supports us) will be there to laugh at you and mock you + your cult minions when it happens to you all.

And don't you even bother to come to me or my moots (especially @moilele) to attempt apologising to us when you and your flying monkeys get exactly what you all asked for as we'll laugh and ignore you along with me using your fake apolo-lies (misspelled on purpose) to wipe myself from your grotesque energy.

I will make sure EVERY-DAMN-BODY IN THIS COMMUNITY sees you, Valerie and your cult minions for who you all truly are: a bunch of contemptible, immoral, miserable, vindictive vipers who snuck onto the earth from the abyss of hell to demonise and terrorise innocent people.

And if that makes me fake, a backstabber, a liar, A VILLAIN, THEN SO MOTHERFUCKING BE IT. I'll more than happily be the villain when you are a spineless, weak, narcissistic, insecure monster with a superiority complex who needs your empty-headed army of leeches to feel better about yourself.

Now that I have finally said how I truly felt about this whole disaster Valerie created in this community...

To all my moots and my anonymous supporters, thank you so much for standing by my side through all this, this week aka my birthday week has been hard, no thanks to that vindictive, deranged Jezebel, Valerie and her daft, demented welldwellers making worse for me when this week was supposed to be my happiest week ever.

To everyone in this community who does not tolerate toxicity: Mass block and report Valerie aka @holybibly for bullying, harassing me and @moilele and making hate posts about us so she'll be forced to face the consquences of her actions.

Taglist:

@autieofthevalley @mingislildevil @yuyusbabygirl @yourfatherlucifer @ihavetoomanyfandomstobesane @thetypingpup @youaremystar1024 @yuyu1024 @yuyubeans @yuyuonabeat @gojosnympho @callmeghostly @jiminbility @kpop---scenarios @kitten4sannie @lightsouthalazia @vampireprincess215 @bambikisss @multi-stantrash @mingischains @shinyj3lly @shinestarhwaa @beenbaanbuun @mint-yooxgi @desirehorizon @everyonewooeverywhere @songmino @hwallazia @skteezcursed @sweetinsaniiity @bunnliix @winxmia

[leahsgf]

SECRET LOVE - katie mccabe

katie mccabe x fem!reader

vaguely inspired by secret love song by little mix!

underneath the fluorescent glow of the lights beaming across the emirates stadium, you stood on the sidelines, your usual spot - as you watched your girlfriend shine and showcase her talent on the pitch. the chants of her name echoed around you when she won the ball through one of her famous tackles, and you couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in your chest, knowing that you were surrounded by thousands of people equally as captivated by the irish woman as you were.

well, maybe not in the exact same way that you were, but they didn’t know that. nobody did. here, you were merely an addition to the blur of red and white shirts and scarves in the stands.

just another voice, merging with all of the others belting the chorus of ‘the angel’.

nothing special.

and with that thought, the cheers and applause surrounding you quickly became almost taunting, leaving a sense of unease lingering in the depths of your soul. behind the facade of her fame and success, and you being simply a fan, another face in the crowd making up a sold out stadium, lay a hidden truth. a truth that threatened to tear apart the already incredibly fragile fabric of your relationship.

you and katie had fallen in love against all odds and expectations, drawn together by what you would call fate - and a passion that transcended all possible boundaries. however, in a world, her world, where public image and professionalism was everything, especially with the way social media was changing - the revealing of your love would jeopardise not only katie’s career and standing within the football community, but your life too.

especially as you weren’t used to the madness of being a public figure.

katie had been in very public relationships in the past, and was determined this time to not give strangers, or to even her own ex a reason to merely look in your direction or attempt to ruin what the two of you had. you deserved more than being reduced to a gossip topic or stupid joke on a so called ‘podcast’ and your girlfriend insisted on not allowing this to happen to you. every move she made was plastered online and analysed to no end, and with that came walls and boundaries that she put up - and an even fiercer protectiveness over her loved ones. you particularly.

you had known this from the get go, and you knew more than anything that she loved you. but there were moments where your resolve cracked, and insecurities slipped through your one innocent, almost naive bubble of love.

as the final whistle blew, signifying a well earned arsenal win, you hung back - allowing the crowds around you to eventually disperse, with their signs begging for katie’s attention trailing by their feet, before finding your way to her, a well practiced routine that now didn’t even need to be said.

you hated that you felt envious of the fans around you, able to literally plaster their love for the girl, your girl, for everyone to see, without even an ounce of hesitation.

your usual car ride was oddly quiet on the way home, with you lost in your own thoughts and your girlfriend still winding down from the adrenaline rush of the game, and quickly sensing that something was up with you.

she knew that you had been struggling more and more with being almost like her little secret as time went on, and it killed her to watch you fade away before her eyes. but her desire to protect you was stronger than her ability to see just how much the tiniest action would affect you.

you knew it was playing on her mind too as she slipped her hand into yours when you were walking from the car up to her house. a short lived moment of happiness and almost relief, that you cut short when you noticed her head constantly turning - making sure nobody was watching, even in the darkness of the night enveloping you.

tears formed in your eyes at a speed in any other moment you would find embarrassing, as you dropped her hand and rushed ahead, ignoring her calls of your name trailing behind you.

and in an instant, her house, your usual refuge from the prying eyes of the outside world, turned from an escape to the place you were trying to hide from as you entered it, with katie not even a step behind you.

“baby please. talk to me.” her voice made you shiver, her being much closer to you than you had realised, and the scratch of her accent almost made you crumble entirely. it didn’t - but it did force your sudden guard down slightly, and allowed her to guide you towards the sofa with a hand on your back.

you sank into the plush of the cushions pathetically, a perfect match to the way you threw your head in your hands a second later. your thoughts were racing around your mind, and not showing signs of letting up for even a second. you’d gone from having one moment of vulnerability at a game to being convinced that your world was ending.

that you weren’t worth it, you never had been - and that she was going to leave you.

“sweetheart, look at me.” katie almost begged, now on her knees crouched on the floor in front of you, looking the most concerned you’d ever seen her, which made you feel beyond stupid.

you knew she loved you. any idiot could look at her now, notice the look in her eyes as she took in you and know that she loved you more than anything. so why was it so hard for you to see that?

why could you not just appreciate what you had and be happy?

any one of those fans sat around you tonight would kill to be you if they knew. and yet you’re near crying and refusing to look at her.

“it’s silly, i’m sorry, you had such a good game i shouldn’t be ruining it.” your words were no more than a mumble, spoken into the palms of your hands.

“no it’s not. nothing you feel is ever silly, i promise. talk to me.” she clasped your hands in hers, causing the now slowing tears to kick start again.

“i just- i’m just so tired of not being able to show the world how much i love you. i don’t want to be a secret anymore, all of the hiding is suffocating me and i don’t want that. i don’t want us to deny ourselves the chance to be truly happy. so many couples are out freely, why can’t we be like that? am i not enough? or do you not want to be with me? i- i just can’t do it anymore. i’m so sorry, katie.”

you closed your eyes when your ramblings trailed off into sniffles, not wanting to witness her reaction. she wanted this to be a secret - she was dead set on it. you weren’t prepared for this life. you didn’t know what it was like. all you thought would come from this conversation was her leaving you.

that surely was the only outcome here.

she didn’t reply for a few seconds. seconds that felt like hours as an unnerving, almost cold silence fell between the short distance between you.

“look at me.”

and for the first time since your emotions had taken over you - you made eye contact with her, staring into her eyes that you were convinced contained some kind of magic, holding the ability to completely bring down your walls just from a glance, every time.

“okay.” she spoke, so softly that you were almost convinced you’d misheard.

“okay what?” you looked at her, confusion visibly plastered all her your face - that in any other circumstance would’ve had her laughing and teasing you.

“we can do this.” her voice was so soft, so vulnerable that it made guilt seep into your veins.

“really, i don’t want you to feel forced i understand you don’t want-”

“baby. no. i want more than anything to show the world how much i love you. i just want to protect you from all of the negativity out there, but the last thing i wanted to do was push you away. if you’re ready, then so am i, kay?” she cut you off before you’d even had a chance to let your insecurities consume any more of you.

“and you are my absolute world. i’m sorry i let you doubt that for even a second. i love you so much it physically hurts - everything i do is for you, and i’m so beyond lucky to have you.”

and with her words, your tears returned once more - but instead for a completely different cause.

her lips were on yours in an instant, joining in a kiss that whilst mixed with salty tears - said everything that months worth of words could never.

you settled instantly in her arms, letting her hold you and literally kiss all of your troubles away.

-

“i’m gonna have to start training more then i guess!” she broke the first peaceful, happy silence of the evening abruptly, and confusing you even more than she had before at the randomness of her words.

“wait what? why?”

“because you are all mine. and look at ye! i’m going to have to fight off my competition now they’re going to know who you are!”

“there’s no competition, never has been.”

-

this is not proof read and is most likely the worst thing i’ve ever written but i was determined to actually get it out of my drafts

[porcelainbirdss]

the mourning dove syndrome II

summary: love is a fragile thing. it is made of glass, just like the dove’s wings — it is in every fiber of your body, diluted with attachment, and desire. a beating heart, pumping the blood of creatures contaminated with so much devotion, their mouths cannot tell the difference between a kiss and a bite. it signifies — eat me down to my very bones.

cw: fem!reader, painter!reader, very suggestive towards the end and not suitable for minors, toxic interpersonal relations, cannibalism used as a metaphor, reader’s ego is fragile, good ending for our lovebirds. part 1 not necessary to read. || wc: 5k

your thought were currently in disarray — yes, that’s definitely the right adjective to describe whatever mayhem was going on in your mind.

ever since that charity banquet, and the events which unfolded once you decided to shut yourself in one room with Mydei, you’ve been rather lost. it was hard to say what you exactly felt, your emotions mixing together into one, ugly concoction, causing your bones to shudder with nerves. previously, you were absolutely sure that man was not of much importance to you — his remarkably eye-catching looks being the only thing that drew you towards his person. well, as it turns out, you might have been in the slightest of denials.

you’ve tried so hard to push back your feelings, but the opposites kept merging with themselves, all the fondness, and dismay, affection and hate. you shunned them tightly inside your own body, praying that maybe, just maybe if you hold the air in your lungs for long enough, they will dissipate with your next exhale.

unfortunately, this didn’t happen, and no matter how much you’ve distanced yourself from Mydei, your thoughts circled back to one thing — how tightly you’d have to hold him, in order to admit you weren’t doing this simply to feel warmth? how many nights you’d have to spend together before you realize friends don’t normally do such things, and you’ve gone too far? it genuinely drove you mad — that grim realization you actually had tenderness in your heart, harbored deep within your stone-cold walls. maybe you weren’t convinced of your love wholly, but it would happen eventually, and so there was no point in waiting for the impending doom.

he cared for you — and it was comparable to axes digging into your chest with muffled thuds, perfectly synchronized with the rapid beating of your heart as Mydei showcased any kind of attachment.

it drove you up the wall, pressing your body into its very corner, crushing every single ounce of your resolve to maintain your relationship as merely platonic (should you call it that with all the intimacy?). still, even if you decided to confess, how would you possibly do that? the man wouldn’t turn you down, of course — however, saying it straight to his face seemed almost trivial. perhaps, you could never bring yourself to do it. any time you pondered upon the topic, your gut clenched with an uncomfortable ache, and your pride smudged over the logical reasoning. if anything, he should be the one to admit his feelings first — after all, it was his fault for causing you such dilemmas.

alas, an idea born within your exceptionally brilliant brain, and your resolution was to do something about the current situation. you were not the best at communicating, so the only way out was to utilize one of your biggest talents — painting.

you tied the apron around your waist, sighing heavily as you felt the uneasy sensation of stress rubbing off against your spine for the first time in forever. you decided to invite Mydei over to your workplace, asking if he wanted to model again — he agreed, a bit reluctantly, but it was obvious to you he was only putting up a nonchalant facade. your plan was to make a portrait of him, and add symbols of love so apparent he wouldn’t be able to miss it. once he finally catches on to your hints, he’ll surely fall on his knees, and admit just how much he cherishes you.

well, the whole charade appeared much easier in your head, and now you were starting to regret it, but you were no coward — there was no way you’d back out now.

Mydei stepped into the spacious room, his keen eyes quickly examining everything before falling on your form, hunched above the palette in a deep thought as you tried to select the best colors.

he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "i’m convinced you were put in this world to torment me." the man sneered, though it lacked in any real bite.

"don’t start complaining now." you huffed out softly, your eyebrows knitting together in concentration. "you agreed to this, so be quiet."

you noticed him shrug, beginning to slowly roam around the space. "where do you want me to sit?" he asked. you wanted to whip around on your heel and smack him across the face for staring so intensely at your back.

"nowhere. i’m still preparing the composition, so entertain yourself." you answered bluntly, searching your brain for any adequate ideas.

you heard Mydei walk around, the sound of his golden leg armor resonating loudly in your ears, even if the steps were rather meek. "by the way, did you know that a certain someone is jealous of your attention?"

you chuckled dryly under your nose. "who?"

"Phainon.”

"what?" you glanced at him through your shoulder, genuine amusement lacing through your tone. now that was a surprise. you never suspected he, of all people, would feel jealousy towards you — or rather the object of your interest.

the man stopped in his tracks by a pile of your sketchbooks, and you turned your head back to the chair, meticulously preparing the background. "you heard me."

"why, though? he doesn’t seem like the type." you hummed, trying to decide between burgundy and navy material to hang up.

"well," Mydei started off, "he thinks it’s unfair that you prefer me over him." he laughed humorlessly, making you shake your head.

"i’m almost starting to feel bad. maybe i should replace you with him, what do you say?" you offered, albeit sarcastically — there was no way you’d ever give up on that distinct face.

he scoffed, grabbing one of the heavy sketchbooks as you struggled to secure the cloth to the wall. "you must be jesting. he wouldn’t be able of sitting in one place for so long."

you smirked to yourself. "don’t say."

"once i explained to him that you’d never agree to such foolery, this moron actually started to get worked up.” the man breathed, mindlessly starting to shuffle through your sketches. "he told me to go hell."

"well, it’s a good thing all dogs go to heaven, no?"

Mydei opened his mouth to snap back at you, but the words suddenly died in his throat. he felt his mind come up with a lag as he took in the multiple drawings of his own face — five consecutive pages, filled to the brim with portraits, every single one of them executed with utter detail. what? why in the world would you make so many sketches of him? he blinked, feeling his heartbeat pick up on its pace. he was well-aware of the fact you throughly enjoyed him as your model, however this was not made with his knowledge. were you possibly…?

"Mydei?"

he quietly closed the thing, putting it away in its previous place. "are you done?" he forced out, swiveling to render the distance between you two.

you nodded, turning in his direction. his cheeks were oddly red — oh well, maybe it was caused by the rather humid temperature outside. "yes. sit down.” you instructed, starting to angle his body to your desire once he seated himself on the chair.

with that, you stood behind the canvas, completely oblivious to what just occurred, and began to block out his silhouette.

seven days later, you were pretty much done with the whole painting. it’s hard to say whether you were satisfied with the finished result — the man’s features were engraved deep within your mind, but it still looked a bit off, and you felt as if the colors were not vibrant enough, and you could have chosen a different background, and the pose wasn’t all that complicated, and the roses standing beside were a bit blurry — would he be able to tell? also, the apple held in his hand seemed overly prominent — the longer you scrutinized the portrait, the more mistakes you managed to spot.

why do you care so much anyway? it’s not like he will start pointing out the things you should have fixed, and after your wordless confession of feelings is over, you will burn it down, or reuse the canvas for something else. yes, that’s definitely what you’ll do.

you knocked at the entrance of the man’s house, attempting to calm your breathing — it wasn’t like you to get so nervous over matters of this kind. you were always above that, sophisticated and composed, and so you mustn’t worry.

"oh, hello [name].” Mydei greeted you once he opened the door, his gaze flickering over to the big canvas you held in your palm, covered with cloth. "i see you’re done?"

he stepped to the side, and you nodded, nonchalantly walking past him. "indeed i am." you affirmed, slowly turning in his direction — you had to swallow, preparing yourself for the big moment. you rarely let in any vulnerability in your life, so it felt somewhat claustrophobic, suddenly unraveling yourself in front of someone who you not so long ago deemed as a mere companion at best, and a nuisance at worst (why did your heart have to betray you like that?).

he closed the door, crossing his arms over the muscular chest. "show me then."

you leaned the painting on the chair, swiftly pulling the material away. you stared into his irises like some kind of a hunter, capturing every single microexpression flashing through his face with intense anticipation. surprise, happiness — now it seemed as if he were impressed — contentment, recognition, and…? and what?

you shifted the weight of your body to your other leg. "what do we think?" you urged, your grip on the cloth tightening.

Mydei nodded in acknowledgment, stepping a bit closer to examine it carefully. "i suppose it’s one of your best works. it’s like a mirror, honestly." he mused, tilting his head as he surveyed every single stroke.

"and?"

he briefly checked you out. "it’s beautiful."

you clenched your jaw. "and?"

he huffed out a snicker, straightening out his back to look at you properly. "[name], are you really in such a need of compliments? i thought the most renowned painter of Okhema would be more humble than that."

a heat of irritation instantly crawled up your neck as you felt your stomach drop — you kept your expression neutral, fighting through the need of scowling at him. did he really fail to catch on to all the hints you presented him with? no, that was — that was simply impossible, for gods’ sake! you tried so hard, putting your everything into a portrait you’d dispose of anyway, and now he thought acting all oblivious would be funny?

"don’t make me laugh." you scoffed, cocking one eyebrow up at him. "your validation means as much to me as any other, so practically nothing."

you wanted to tear his throat open.

Mydei shrugged, glancing back towards the canvas. "feeling feisty today, aren’t we."

maybe you were wrong? maybe you didn’t like him, and you deluded yourself to think you do? after all, thoughts rarely reflect reality. they’re created out of subconscious patterns of one’s mind.

"shut your mouth."

he took a step closer, his body separated away from yours by mere inches. "or what?"

you inspected his lips — they looked so tempting, curling up in mocking amusement. your eyes snapped up to his own, and you felt vexation rise up in your gut — the kind that makes you wonder what separates humans from animals. you bared your teeth, just like most species do as a display of aggression, of leadership, of a threat. you hoped it was the only thing he could think of as you smiled at him so innocently.

"never mind that. i’m in a hurry anyway." you dismissed him, grabbing the painting and turning on your heel.

Mydei seemed almost surprised to see you back out so suddenly, but he didn’t point it out. good for him, because you don’t know what you’d do if he dared to prod at your nerves any further. shame along with disappointment washed over you as you walked over to the exit, keeping your movements graceful and calculated as always, though it was harder than usually.

"fine. see you soon, then."

you held back a sigh of exasperation. "not if i see you first."

you shut the door behind you with a loud bang, berating yourself for even wasting your time on that excuse of a man.

a few hours passed since your awful failure, and all you did during that time was sit on your chair in front of a canvas, brooding in silence. the sky already darkened, and your only source of light was a small oil lamp placed on the table beside you.

your fists clenched together as you continued to ponder upon all the possible mistakes, and things you did wrong. perhaps the problem didn’t lie within you, but rather him — still, you couldn’t help but feel the ache of defeat squeezing at your poor brain, wringing it dry of any logic or sense.

it was really unlike you. who would’ve thought — an arrogant, self-centered woman breaking her own thoughts over something as insignificant as a mere crush on someone so pathetic that he most likely wouldn’t hesitate to kiss your feet, and worship the ground you walk on if you told him to. you should suck it up, and move on — or maybe try again, because it would seem Mydei was in the dire need of a consultation with an ophthalmologist.

honestly, only someone lacking in wits would miss out on such obvious symbols — roses, apples, the color red in the background — what else were you supposed to add? a gigantic 'i love you' in the middle? should you splatter pink hearts around his head like a halo, or serenade under his window with a whole band to accompany you?

you gritted your teeth — maybe you will give up on him altogether! what a sight it would be, watching him crawl back to you and apologize over and over again for being so oblivious, tears streaming down his perfect face. yes, now that would’ve been a pleasure. on the other hand, no. you could be awful sometimes, but not to that degree.

perhaps that prideful man saw through your steel facade, with his stupid golden irises, and thought you appeared too anxious for his liking? was he truly attracted only to people of equal fierceness as him? did he perceive you as weak, for even trying to showcase your tender emotions? no, no — who does he think he is? did you seem backed into corner for him? did you look like some kind of a caged animal?

that’s not it. he was too-well infatuated with you to even take such things into consideration.

then what caused you to slip-up so miserably? you mulled over all the possibilities, the grim realization finally settling at the bottom of your stomach — your art was not good enough. the creation he praised oh-so highly was simply lacking. through years upon years of consistent work, and luxuries, and expensive parties, and auctions, and expositions, you began to get sluggish. that must have been it, no?

you frantically reached towards your palette, grabbing the paints and brushes as you started to quickly put colors onto the canvas. no sketch, no previous preparation — you squinted your eyes, trying to see through the darkness of your workplace, placing erratic strokes.

the skin with unique red marks, shadows encompassing it so sternly.

you pressed the brush harder. you hated art. you hated it with passion, and yet you couldn’t stop, because it was the only thing that fulfilled you to the brim, making your life complete.

blonde hair with maroon woven through the wild strands.

no, you didn’t hate it — you despised it! you could burn down every single one of your paintings, and you wouldn’t bat an eye! none of it mattered. you weren’t great, and you most certainly weren’t special. why people were so infatuated with your creations? if you could, you’d transform them into rags, and wipe the dirty floor.

piercingly sharp eyes, so vivid they looked almost alive.

Mydei was not of any importance to you either. you were just playing around with him, teasing the man and pulling at his feelings to your liking, because you got bored with your mundane life of someone who accomplished so much, yet at the same time barely anything at all.

nose, the arched brows, and the lips stretching in that mocking smile.

you loved it. you hated it.

jet-black background.

you loved him. you hated him.

a knife ripping through the canvas, tearing the beautiful face in half, severing it into pieces.

you huffed in frustration, your face twisting with dismay. the next time you see him, you’ll find the purpose of existence in the prominent, perfectly structured line of his jaw and break it. with a new resolve, you got up from your chair, reaching towards the portrait you made of him earlier, now discarded somewhere by your feet — you jabbed your fingers through the apple, forcing them to shred to the other side even if it was hard — you pulled, and pulled, observing the material crumbling in your own palms. it’s one of your best works — what an utterly foolish thing to say. how about now? was it still so breathtaking? in your humble opinion, it looked exactly like him.

as you surveyed the destroyed canvases, a sudden sound pulled you out of your reveries. someone was knocking at the door.

you rolled your eyes, feeling all the ire continuously simmering in the fibers of your body. you were not in the mood to see with anyone, much less at this time of the day, when it was obvious normal people would already begin getting ready for bed. you dropped the ruined painting on the ground, running fingers through your hair as you tried to compose yourself from the outburst.

you growled with chagrin once the knocking picked up in its volume. "come in!" you shouted, loud enough so the person outside would hear you.

you heard the door open, characteristic footsteps resonating in the space of your workplace. just great! he was definitely the last person you wanted to talk to right now. "[name], i brought you the cloth you forgot—"

Mydei stopped in his tracks, taken aback by the mess you made — he scanned everything, looking at the portraits you left in shambles after the bitterness you felt boiled over, spilling all around the cavities of your usually calm mind. you glanced at the material he was currently holding in his palm — you must have forgotten it when you left in hurry. still, you saw no point in bringing you this at such a late hour — he could’ve waited until tomorrow morning, no?

you sighed heavily, tapping your foot. "okay. anything else?"

the man’s eyebrows tugged together as he put the neatly folded cloth away on the table, his displeased vision returning to yours. "what happened here?"

"nothing much." you shrugged, starting to feel impatient.

his golden irises bored into your eyes as he took a step closer. at this point, you should just chase him away — he was not worthy of your attention, was he? "my sight is not impaired, [name]. you must really have a few screws loose." he commented in a low tone, picking up the painting you made just a few minutes earlier.

"what’s it to you?"

he huffed out a dry, humorless laugh. "color me surprised, i’ve never took you for someone so violent. is that supposed to be me?" he pointed towards the erratic strokes you put on the canvas, now ripped through in half. "i didn’t know i looked so horrible."

what a remarkable man — you admired his courage. not many people would be able of criticizing you so freely.

"yes, that’s you.” you agreed, tearing the thing away from his hands, and throwing it somewhere by your feet. "and i’m not violent."

"you must despise me, then."

"quite."

Mydei scrutinized you, as if weighting every single one of your syllables, trying to decipher what was going on in your tangled psyche — you genuinely hoped he wouldn’t come to any concrete conclusion. you’d eat his heart, if he did.

you were on your guard against the rest of the world, but with him, it seemed as if it was of no use. "why?" he questioned, his voice neutral, though you could hear the tangible lace of some disdain lying underneath.

"because," you clenched your fists, wanting to berate yourself for feeling so unbearably happier with him, "you drive me mad. it’s as simple as that."

if you could describe the state of your body, you’d probably say you were sitting in a wagon of sorts, and it was rushing towards the line of trees, mere seconds away from crashing. he had you on a string.

"i could say the same." he muttered, dragging his feet even closer to you — if he takes another step, he’ll merge into one with your being. you were sure of that. "but do you truly hate me?"

no, you craved to say, but your throat clenched around nothing, as if you were unable of acting like a normal human being for once.

Mydei exhaled, thinking you were akin to a deadly nightshade — your poisonous juices seeping into his mouth, dripping down the windpipe every time he tried to take a breath, choking, choking. there was no way to recover from that kind of devotion.

perhaps it’s just like a wishing well. you throw your coins into the water, hoping all of your desires will come true with the next one. both of you knew exactly how to push each other until you’d go insane, and it was so hard putting up with you sometimes, but his heart still drummed in the rhythm of your breaths.

"[name]?" he urged.

"no."

"then what do you think of me?"

the air gone heavy in your lungs.

"i like you."

you announced it nonchalantly, but you felt as if your whole body was on fire, burning with a mixture of embarrassment and agitation. you didn’t think. you didn’t analyze. you said what you were aching to say for the whole time, yet were too prideful to utter. a deep silence fell over you, and you swear you saw a flash of surprise run across his face.

for the whole time, the man was absolutely convinced you didn’t harbor any affection for him — and perhaps it wasn’t the textbook definition of 'love', but it resided within you nonetheless. all the sketches you made of him, and the knife you jabbed through the canvases of his portraits, and fleeting glances, and how you seemed to only laugh at his mildly-humorous jokes. that was the clarity of what conjoined you by the hip. you were his dearest — difficult, and self-serving, but still his. maybe now he won’t have to seethe internally anytime someone got too-friendly with you, or whenever you talked to others with so much interest.

your usually aloof eyes now appeared so afraid.

you swallowed, sensing his hand nudging against yours — he held it close to his mouth, kissing at your knuckles, a wordless way of saying: 'i do too.' it was a vast difference to every other thing you did together — no blind lust dragging you by the collar, no 'causal' intimacy — it was far from that. you looked into his eyes, and deemed they appeared remarkably tender for someone so adept at fighting. his long, beautiful eyelashes fluttered when you placed your palm at the back of his neck.

"i’m sorry for always being like this, Mydei." you mumbled, pulling him towards you.

his lips brushed against yours, apparently holding back. "i don’t mind."

it was the truth, because how could he?

your resolve crumbled, and you kissed him, and kissed him some more. he kept kissing you back.

it wasn’t fair for you to think of Mydei so lowly, when in reality you perceived the man as the only person you actually wanted, or knew. the denial was never working in your favor — it was clear as a day, the realization forcing its bright light through the fog of your mind. he was the sun, his unrelenting rays scattering through the prism of your being, just like it falls through the leaves during summer. you couldn’t explain how good it felt to glance across the room, and see him standing there — his eyes already on you, crinkling in the corners as he fought through the smile attempting to stretch his lips upwards.

his hands glued to your waist, digging its thumbs into your flesh with such intensity, you thought it might leave bruises. all the uncertainty dissipated, making you press yourself further into him, searching out his touch, the same way he did earlier on, when you still could deem yourself as only friends — if it was pathetic to you back then, you certainly were on equal level of low now.

you interwoven your fingers through his blonde hair, tugging at them aggressively as you practically swallowed each other, the heat of desire washing over your senses. Mydei’s palms trailed down to your hips, giving them a firm squeeze, as if they were molded to perfectly fit into his grip — just like puzzles do.

the tension arose, its palpable weight crushing you with a metaphorical grin on its lips. there was a knot settled deep in your stomach, tightening, cracking, threatening to snap in half as your fingers searched through the man’s body, lingering in places they shouldn’t be yet. perhaps, somewhere under your lungs, there was a big horde of butterflies, the erratic flapping of their wings shoving you into a haze, trying to rip away from your ribcage.

Mydei pushed you backwards, and if not the deadly grasp you had on him, you’d fall on the cold floor. you whined a sound of surprise into his mouth, yet you didn’t protest his actions — you coordinated your steps with his, allowing him to lead you. for all this time, you were the one dictating in which way his will would bend, so you decided to let him have this one (or maybe your brain was simply too occupied with everything else to even try thinking for itself).

you felt your knees suddenly hit the edge of the table, and you gasped, severing yourself from his lips. you opened your eyes, looking into his dilated pupils — all the gentleness gone, replaced with a dangerous covet. your heavy breaths mixed into one, hot mess, and you panted, wondering — how could you not love that man? he was much more than just a model, a mere doll to pose and play with.

he nudged you further, and your legs buckled under the pressure as you clumsily sat yourself atop the surface — Mydei shoved everything off, and you heard the dull sound of your sketchbooks hitting the ground, but you payed no mind to them. he leaned himself impossibly closer to you, securing your back from completely meeting with the table — his canines hovering just by your neck, as if he was debating whether he should sink them into your pulse point. previously, you thought fondness turns people soft, but you’ve never been more brutal.

you felt him secure himself between your thighs — you both knew how it goes. "i want you inside me," you pleaded into Mydei’s ear, clenching your fingers on his broad shoulders, and you could almost discern your head under the water, "i want you." you repeated, the knife splitting you both open.

"you’re not very patient, are you?" he murmured, amusement and yearning merged into one. you’d eat him alive.

your lips found his again, clashing with even more fervor than before, your teeth against the man’s as you barely controlled whatever restraint was left in you. you ignored the table creaking, and the nightingales singing outside, and the screech of your ignited mind, focusing solely on the fast beating of his heart underneath your fingertips — one, two three, one two, three. the last rush of melody you hear before a starved animal pounces on you, love filling its bottomless eyes.

devotion is a flesh, it is a flower in full bloom, flooded with blood running through its thin veins.

you hurriedly took off your top, and Mydei carefully eased your shoes away with his free hand.

you were no good, but does it hold any significance? you made each other alive. none other thing mattered.

[dotomuses]

morbidial (fatui x abyss!reader) child neglect, mention of death, violence

00 — remember me.

it’s not that you don’t remember, it’s just that there’s a lot you don’t. it’s painful, to reach out into whatever clear corners were left in your mind to find any trace of you and not those of a creature from the abyss. whether it’s some spell of subserviency, some sick side-affect of the void, or your own mind, you just can’t remember.

but you do, don't you? you choose to forget. you can try to convince yourself that it’s to keep the abyss from having any more leverage on you, but that’s a lie. you don’t want to remember because you still mourn, you keep mourning a life you never had.

of course you remember a soft hand swiping over your face, to wash dirt and grime off of you when they first found you. you remember the same hand pushing you away when you cried, because snezhnaya does not believe in tears.

you remember her too. you remember your mother. you remember her gentle laughter and her close-eyed smile, you remember her scornful glances and the way her hands tensed at loud children. you remember her disappearing for months for work and returning with the nice men and their big guns.

you remember your siblings welcoming her back, the elder girls and boys clapping and bowing, while the younger ones sprang and beamed at her. you remember wanting to do the same, but feeling lightheaded and ill when you saw her. weariness, you learned later, was what you felt.

you once wanted, so bad, to be a part of the big family you lived with. barely eight, with big, hopeful eyes, clinging to the coat of the man who brought you there, staring up at the big colosseum of a house and the many children running around there.

you had once been so ecstatic to start this different life, after the troubling one you had so far, seeing all the children laugh and run around. but you were a hare among rabbits and a dog among wolves. your life so far had made you too harsh for the innocence of a normal childhood and too weak for one of hardships. you tried to blend in, but it was hopeless. did you try too hard, or not try hard enough?

trying to join in on games was easy at first, everyone was excited at the prospect of a new playmate, a new sibling. but when you recoiled too harshly at being touched and caught in a game of tag, they pulled away, awkward. you liked to draw too, but showing others your pictures made you shy and embarrassed, but the children thought of you as egoistical. small things, very, very small things, made you too odd to be around. 

the other children would find your unblinking stare unsettling, and your stillness unnerving. it wasn’t that the house of the hearth didn’t have its own black sheep, but let us not pretend you were a lamb. an ugly duckling, who wasn’t a swan chick in the wrong nest, but a loon out of water.

eventually, your oddity just became you. you didn’t understand why nobody at all talked to you. the children in your years swerved around you, not wanting to attach themselves to a weed like yourself, and influenced by their elders, the new children avoided you like a plague.

it was… unbearable. your situation is so pitiable and morose that you fell into a mood too sombre for a little youth. isolation and loneliness sent you into a dark place, and the fragile hope that rested in your bones was shattered with every rejection you received. a little child, depraved of the stimulating feeling of joy and the company of your only community. a little child, taken from one poor family to another. a bird first held under the water, and then taken away to be held under sand.

nobody saw you. nobody at all. not your absent mother, not the caretaking mistresses, not your “siblings”, nobody. you had managed to get through it for the first year, but your peace had cracked quickly after. loneliness had irreparably, irreversibly, permanently been changed into a different person. at some point in your childhood, you became violent, scratching at anyone who came too close, and sneering at just about anyone with cutting words. you had hoped your outbursts of anger would have made you more noticeable, and the scolding of others made you beam with satisfaction. 

only until of course, the scoldings thinned out, and the house left you be, hoping to satiate you with silence and alone-time. you could have laughed at the irony of it if you didn’t feel so ridden with despair, your ears perpetually ringing from the quiet, your efforts truly were useless weren’t they?

your only method of releasing any pent up energy and dismay was the training your mother insisted every child in the house must participate in. beating at dummies with a stupid wooden club to hopefully beat away at your steadily growing morosity as well. 

your… vigor, if you could call it that, finally got you noticed. by one person, an old lady who patrolled the corridors, playing the role of a “captain” for all the children who trained.

she alone patted at your scars, giving you the simple opportunity of being more. more than your siblings. your depravity allowed you to cling onto any such praise, lighting a bit of a darker competitive streak in you, a blaze of fury stifling down anybody else who even tried to overtake you.

your “captain” prodded at the monster you were becoming, encouraging scuffles rather than reprimanding you for them. she didn’t defend you when the mistresses shrieked over your teeth biting into a girl’s arm, or your foot to a boy’s jaw, letting you snarl back at them yourself.

she created a small young beast, wrapping the thread of your broken heart and fragile soul around her wrinkled fingers, letting you rely on a person you thought truly valued you. perhaps she truly did. you chose to ignore, to forget the bite in her voice when you couldn’t perform well, pushing with more determination to make her proud of you again. you chose to remember her wired hands pulling at your face, joyful of your violent drive and cold sophistication.

your wooden club was replaced by a sword in a month, and your opponents went from dummies to the nice men with big guns who agreed to the lady’s offer to spar with you. you’d always stop at a blade to their throats, a victory, or a breathless lean against your weapon, a failure.

you, for once, felt complete. worthy. useful. even more so when your opponent grumbled congratulations, surely you were allowed a little smugness at fighting grown men and winning.

your mentor passed shortly after you came of age. you mourned for two months and a half, grieving the one person who gave you a glance that lasted longer than a second. the familiarity of your life fell and faded quickly, your spars less frequent and your days more empty.

you didn’t feel upset. she had been ailing for a while, and her death must have brought her peace. peace that you would cherish for her, in the place of her withering corpse. you were old enough to contribute to what she and the house had trained you and your siblings so long for, the mother government of snezhnaya, a nation you’d never even gotten close to visiting. 

your years there, however few, got you a strange reputation. right from the very start of your soldiership you were avoided by those under the knave, your mother, and the others caught along quickly. your team of weaker gunmen and hammer-wielding men were assigned to you simply so you could keep them alive long enough to fulfill their own duties. you found it nearly disgusting, the lack of their ability and their belief in their own contribution to the motherland. what did they think they were contributing to, sitting around while you hunted food and intruders alike? useless folk. all of them.

you tuned it out, your irritation, as you have and would many times over. your goals did not sit still like your comrades, but changed by the will of your leaders. did you consider them worthy enough to listen to? maybe not, but the sense of security you got in following orders, anchoring yourself in a community, gave you life.

then came the abyss, with her gentle hands, whisking your alice liddell self away into a wonderland, and you found security in being powerful.

dear, (name), how does it feel to hate enough to floor cities to the ground? to feel angry enough to swipe your claws at any man remotely brave enough to approach you? to be stealthy enough to evade your weak life in the overworld for centuries, and strong enough to keep yourself from dwelling over it? you have become one of the many gems from the abyssal cave. 

beautiful thing, do hope that the prince and his people do not bore themselves out at musing over you.

your peace comes in fragments, make them whole. at least, live trying. your stillness becomes that of a lynx, and your unblinking eyes that of a snake. your harshness is the beak of a loon. your claws are sharp and your canines sharper. they adore you more than anyone else ever has. 

value it, value them.

don't forget.

interaction appreciated !

ㄟ( ▔, ▔ )ㄏ i will probably continue the sagau series as well, but i'm a little demotivated to finish it. i am planning to turn this into a series, please do share ideas and thoughts >< it does help in keeping that drive to write a bit.

[hellonerf]

this post is going to be my depository for the caname yandere notes i wrote a while ago and im finally posting. below this line is it. if you want you can just ignore the walls of text for this image of ame as miyuki from you and me and her or read through it for my yandere caname braindead details

straightforwardly, they'd be different in approach. dumb in their own ways 🤤 loosely using yandere here okay i know the meaning has changed a lot okay(snoreee)

for a yandere cana, in context to caname. a mumbling withdrawn yandere… just a general big fan of how it can come off as shyness. well i personally love a really messy sadled-by-internal-conflict kind of yandere… i think there’d be a weird type of shame there. always has the feeling that he’s afraid to be perceived. a weird overlap… with his ame-related frustrations “he won’t even look at me… (seethe)” and “ohhhmygod he CAN’T look at me (shaking)”. like he feels in the right but feels afraid simultaneously. and he knows so much about ame but ame doesn’t reciprocate such effort? unfair…(grits teeth).

he can confidently say he knows everything about ame, and then mumble about how ame barely knows anything about him. i want to him to rage internally about that that it bubbles up (>_>) entitlement and yandereness kind of go together anyways. she’s glaring at her with such intensity and she won’t even turn around to notice… can't she at least have this... she rarely gets anything for herself... at least this... i like any case of someone being yandere for ame where they take on a kind of caretaker role. he’s so stupid he can’t do anything he doesn’t know what’s good for him etc… (happy)(happy anytime ame loses control in some way)(ties him to cana like a balloon). loveee the idea of cana hitting him or something and then doting on him right afterwards like he didn’t cause it. HOW’d you get such an INJURY…… so irresponsible 🤦‍♂️

another thing is cana is more comfortable with femininity than ame. this is factual and ame i’d imagine to be tenser about it. i don’t know what this means guys. anyways i think his feelings build up into a climax more... turned into action! whatever it is he does to ame

a yandere ame is harder for me to put into words. because i okay. i like her a lot. i think he’d be so rage jealous upset internally, but also so much so that he can’t keep it in (i don’t think his control on how much of his emotions leak out is very good, i don’t think he has a good enough lid on it) so he’ll come off very spiteful, controlling, accusatory. she’s keeping track of where you go where she can’t see you. she doesn’t believe what she can’t see. ame’s high and fragile ego i think… deep down he can be insecure and paranoid. it’s frustrating for him to feel unsure at all. especially if it contradicts what he believes he heard. and it’s an insult that someones even making him feel so unsure. she’s like stomping her foot… wants her full attention at all times… she won’t and can’t let you get away with fooling around.

in a caname nationverse… i think there’d then already be a lot of interactions ame would consider “the ultimate betrayal” lol… similar in cana that he’d want reciprocation for the attention given, but i think he’d be 10x more blatant in the rage and entitlement. it'd cause more lashing out to the perceived betrayal i think. he's stuck between wanting affection and being so mad that he's not getting it already. demanding of cana's time loyalty and reciprocation... yandere that seethes that the one they love isn't as crazy about them lol... paired with all this… complexes about doing things “right”. communicating “right”. i think ame doesn’t really have a natural intuition in communication, relying on imitating social customs while not understanding them fully. so it'd be even more upsetting to him that he's "done it right" and he still doesn't get what he wants.

and also with that i think he’d be lacking in self awareness so hard… gets into antics… thennn i think he's more explosive in this, feels a white hot jealous rage and acts based on that, but its easy to forget outside of those moments.

in these descriptions i think cana's works prior to dating... if dating ever starts at all lol i think he thinks of it less like a romance endeavor and more like a... well he's already always right next to him! its been building up for forever... for ame's i think these only really get prominent with something "established". he already demands your time but if cana like specifically promised something, or he had some epiphany, that'd cause all these wants to be much more visible. i feel like he tends to need a catalyst for some feelings to come to the forefront

the switching pronouns is cause saying all this im imagining them yandere girl-like no matter what because i have personal feud with male yandere

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

I Know Places.

Synopsis - Jake always joked that he'd kill for you. One fateful day, he does just that.

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Female Reader (Callsign - Ivy) - Bonnie&Clyde inspired au

Warnings - cursing. very near SA. mentions of abuse/assault. mentions of blood, gunshots and violence. mentions of suicide. please, do not read if any of these warnings will affect you.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 3.1k

Author's Note - i'm not sure what happened, because this was really fluffy in my head. it ended up kind of dark, but i'm rolling with it. i like writing a different side of jake. just in time for halloween too. this was written for @laracrofted 1989TGM celebration!! <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

You stand with your hand on my waistline

It's a scene, and we're out here in plain sight

I can hear them whisper as we pass by

It's a bad sign, bad sign

Jake's always had impeccable timing.

He'd tell you, later, that he sensed it. Just knew. Felt it in his gut, some sort of warning from the universe. He had to get to you.

The Admiral has you half bent over the desk in his office, fingers twisted into your underwear. He's trying to pull them down your legs when the door swings open.

You're paralysed, frozen with fear. The look on your face must tell Jake enough. He gets the message, understands your silent communication.

The Admiral stops. Backs away. As if putting distance between you will erase what he's been caught doing. Trying to do.

You expect Jake to yell, fight, throw The Admiral across the room by his collar. You expect blood, bruises, broken skin and bared teeth.

All you're met with is silence.

Jake strides across the room towards you. Fixes your clothes, smooths down your hair. Wipes the tears from your cheeks. He snakes a hand around your waist and guides you out of the door. Not a word said.

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

"He'll ruin my career."

You're tucked into Jake's lap, legs slung over his hips as he holds you close. His rough fingertips run themselves up and down your spine, comforting and gentle. You inhale his musk, letting the familiarity fill your lungs.

"You didn't do anything wrong, baby."

"That won't matter."

The two of you are whispering, hushed voices bouncing off the furniture. You're alone together in Jake's living room. There's no one else around. You think he's scared he'll spook you. You're right.

"I worked so hard for this, Jake. I sacrificed everything to get into Top Gun."

"I know, baby."

"I can't lose it all."

He presses a tender kiss to your forehead, brushing your hair back from your eyes.

"What do you want to do? Report him?"

"Jake, you're not listening to me. He'll ruin my career."

"But he's the guilty one. Not you."

"Yeah, well. This is the way it works. Men can assault you and still play the victim."

You're frustrated, now. There's something bubbling, running through your veins. You can't put your finger on it. It feels like more than rage. Whatever it is, it's lethal.

You climb off Jake's lap and stand, pacing across the carpet.

"What am I supposed to do?" you murmur, tears threatening to spill.

Jake can't stand the wobble in your voice. It tightens something in his chest, pulls at his heartstrings. He was furious, before. He's just sad now.

"I'll do anything you ask," he tells you, standing up to cradle your face in his hands. "Anything in the world."

"I know."

And you do. That's what it's like, being with Jake. He loves so entirely, with his whole being. Every fibre of his heart belongs to you. It beats to the rhythm of your name.

"Just tell me what you wanna do, baby. I'm on your side. No matter what."

You lean up to kiss him, his lips soft and careful against yours.

"I'm not sure, yet. When I know, you'll know."

Jake sits back down on the couch, pulling you with him. You tuck yourself into his side, fitting there perfectly. He slings an arm around your waist and keeps you close, holding you a little tighter than usual.

Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes

And guns

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

"We should kill him."

You're strewn across Jake's chest, tangled in the sheets. Your limbs and hearts are intertwined, bodies drenched in sweat and lungs heaving.

"What?"

You sit up, pulling the comforter up and over your body slightly to combat the chill of the ocean breeze that's filtering through the open window.

"Let's kill him."

You look over to your boyfriend, waiting for the punchline. It never comes.

"Jake."

He turns to you, the most serious you've ever seen him. There's a look in his eye you've never seen before. It's dark. You're vaguely aware you should probably feel fear - but all you feel is anticipation.

"How many girls do you think he's done this to before you? How many will come after?"

You swallow, biting at your lips.

"He needs to be stopped, baby. You and I both know they won't fire him. He needs to be taken out of the equation altogether."

You realise, suddenly, that the thing you're worried about isn't the morality of the situation. It's the logistics. You don't want to get caught.

"Do you think we're smart enough to get away with murder?"

"Baby," he drawls, brushing his knuckles over your cheekbone. "We're a hell of a lot smarter than people give us credit for."

You know he's right. People underestimate both you and Jake. Everyone assumes he's nothing but a pretty face and toned muscles. That you're just his pilot girlfriend, seduced by his Southern charm and the fact that he's good in bed.

It seems like a challenge, now. You want to do this. You want to see if you can get away with it. You're already on the precipice of losing everything - why not go out with a bang?

"How would we do it?" you ask, leaning in closer to the blonde man next to you.

He thinks for a moment, running his fingers up and down your bare thighs.

"I say we make it look like a suicide. Shoot him in the head and frame it so it looks self inflicted."

You nod, processing.

"I think we should hold him at gunpoint first. Get him to write a confession, some sort of letter. That way, there's no confusion as to what happened."

"You're a genius," Jake grins, dipping down to kiss you.

He slips his tongue into your mouth effortlessly, sighing when he tastes himself from earlier. You straddle his waist and tangle your fingers into his hair, desperate to be close to him.

Both of you are high on adrenaline, buzzed on the anticipation of what's to come.

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places

I know places

Murder isn't as hard as you thought it'd be.

Careful planning. Airtight alibis. Reassurance and recon.

You and Jake have created the perfect crime.

The two of you show up to The Admiral's office on an evening you know he'll be working late. He's doing paperwork when you arrive.

You walk in first. Jake follows, and locks the door behind him.

The Admiral goes to speak, but you silence him with a handgun pointed at his chest.

"Speak, and you die."

He doesn't say another word.

Jake takes the gun from your hand and walks around the desk, pressing it into his superiors temple.

"We need a couple of things from you," he begins. "Just a favour or two."

The Admiral is sweating, pale and rigid. He looks scared. It sends a rush of adrenaline through you. You're enjoying this. Jake is too, judging by the beaming grin on his face.

"Grab a pen, and some paper. We're about to do some creative writing."

Jake orchestrates the letter. Gets him to write exactly what you need. Notes down the brutality, the arrogance, the abuse of power. He makes him recount every incident, not just yours. You're there for what feels like hours, as his shaky hands move the pen across the paper.

Finally, he finishes. Dots the I's and crosses the T's. Jake chuckles.

"Wonderful. And for the last part of this joyous evening were having together, my girlfriend is gonna shoot you."

The Admiral chokes on his breath. Looks to you with fear in his eyes. Finally, you think. He understands how it felt.

He goes to open his mouth, but you stop him.

"Don't beg. Don't plead. It's pathetic."

"We made up our mind weeks ago," Jake adds. "You're not going to deter us now."

You smile at your boyfriend, giddy over the way he's protecting you, saving you, loving you.

"I'm going to enjoy this," you whisper.

You take the gun from Jake and press it to The Admiral's temple. You know the silencer will muffle the noise - you really have thought of everything.

You click off the safety, and lean down so your mouth is next to his ear.

"This is for all of the women you hurt."

You pull the trigger.

He dies instantly.

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

In another life, you and Jake could have been actors.

You're all called into the briefing room the next day, gathered together in confusion.

Admiral Simpson stands in front of your class - pale as a sheet, dark circles bruised under his eyes.

"There's been a situation, and we want you to hear it from us," he begins. "I ask that you all keep this to yourselves, where possible. Don't talk to any media, don't gossip, don't spread rumours. Understood?"

When you all nod, he continues.

"The Admiral is dead."

The room goes silent. Jake's hand finds yours under the table. To anyone on the outside, it looks like a boyfriend supporting his girlfriend. To you, it's something different.

It feels like time stands still. The world stops turning, suspending you in the present moment. Eventually, Rooster speaks.

"What happened?"

Beau clears his throat, swiping his hand over his face.

"He took his own life."

There are whispers now, hushed and clipped. Everyone is in a state of shock and confusion. Everyone, except for you and the blonde man next to you. He squeezes your hand tightly, refusing to let go.

"Of course, there will be an investigation. But, it seems pretty obvious to us what happened. If anyone in this room has been effected by the actions of The Admiral that have come to light... please, speak to me, or any other of your superiors. Thank you. "

He exits the room, leaving all of you in palpable silence.

"What the fuck?" Payback mutters. "What did he mean, 'actions that have come to light?'"

"There's rumours," Phoenix begins. "He had a... soft spot, for young female pilots. People have been whispering about it for months."

Suddenly, all eyes are on you. You're the only other woman in the room besides Natasha, and she clearly wasn't involved.

"Did he ever... try anything with you, Ivy?"

"No," you're quick to answer. "No. Thank God."

The room breathes a collective sigh of relief.

If only they knew.

they take their shots, but we're bulletproof I know places

and you know for me, it's always you I know places

in the dead of night, your eyes so green I know places

and I know for you, it's always me I know places

A month later, you snap.

Jake comes home to find you frantically shoving clothes into a duffel bag, sweat dripping down your back.

"Baby," he tries, cautious, like he's approaching a spooked animal. "Baby."

You turn to face him with wild eyes, fear radiating off you.

"What's wrong, angel?"

You look at him incredulously.

"What's wrong? What's fucking wrong? We killed someone, Jake! That's what's wrong!"

"He wasn't a good guy."

"That doesn't matter. That doesn't make it right."

He cradles your face in his hands, eyes never leaving yours.

"Talk to me. What's going on? You've been okay. We've been okay. I thought we were processing, moving forward."

"I was. And then today, I just... can't. It was murder, Jake. Premeditated murder."

"Listen to me," he demands, tilting your chin up so your eyes are level. "He was an awful, awful man. The world is a better place without him. We saved so many women from a horrible fate, baby. We did a good thing."

You inhale carefully, and exhale a shaky breath, leaning up to press a kiss to his bitten lips.

"Yeah?" you ask, unsure. "We did save people, didn't we?"

"We wouldn't have done it without just reason, baby. We're good people, you and I. We both know we are."

You nod, looking for any signs of insecurity in his eyes. You don't find a single speck.

"You're right. Fuck, you're right. Sorry if I scared you, Jake."

"You scared me because I thought you were leaving me," he chuckles. "Wondered what I did wrong."

"Nothing," you're quick to reassure, tangling tracing your fingertips over the features of his face in a featherlight touch. "My God, Jake. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. You're it for me. You're my forever."

Jake leans down, pressing his lips to yours firmly and surely. It's as if he's telling you everything he feels without using any words. He pulls you into him, winding his arms around your back and tugging you closer.

"I've got you, baby. No matter what happens. It's me and you, always. I love you."

"I love you too, Seresin. Always."

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it

My love

"Let's run away."

You're taking off your shoes by the door when Jake comes bounding down the stairs, buzzing with energy.

"Hmm?"

"Let's run away, baby. You and me. The open road. We can go anywhere we want."

"Jake," you laugh. "Are you drunk? What's happening?"

"Not drunk. My head's clearer than it has ever been. I've been thinking, while you were gone."

"Thinking about...?" you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning up to kiss his rosy lips.

"Getting out of here. This place is full of bad memories and old ghosts. We can start afresh somewhere new."

"Like where?"

"Anywhere. Literally anywhere. We don't even have to stay in America. We could go to Europe, Australia, Canada? The possibilities are actually endless."

"What's triggered this?" you murmur. "You okay?"

"I'm always okay when I'm with you," he smiles. "But.... I can just feel it, you know? I can feel everything piling up. There's a weight on my shoulders, and on yours too. We can let that go. I know we can."

"You're right, about the weight. I haven't relaxed in months."

Jake slides his hands under your shirt, tracing his fingers up and down the bare skin of your back.

"I know," he murmurs against your lips. "I think there's something better out there for us."

"Where would we go? Like, serious talk, what are our options?"

"I know places," he winks.

"What places, Jake?" you try to chide, but you're smiling.

"We can go to my mom's, first, in Texas. Just to touch base. From there, I mean it when I say literally anywhere, baby. Wherever you wanna go, we can go. You've always wanted to go to Italy, right? We could go there. Or I have a high school friend in Perth - we could go there."

"I wanna go somewhere with good food. Kind people. Beautiful views. A little sunshine wouldn't hurt either."

He's grinning at you, white and blinding. His excitement is contagious, settling into your bones.

"Imagine it, baby. Me and you, on the beach all day. We could surf, swim, go grab some lunch, then surf and swim some more. Go home, make dinner, sit out in the yard and listen to the ocean waves. Do it all again the next day."

You can't wipe the smile off your face, practically bouncing on the soles of your feet.

"Okay."

Jake stops in his tracks, still and rigid.

"Really?"

"Really. We can go right now, Jake. I don't wanna be here any longer."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Fuck, I love you. Let's pack our shit and go, baby."

Jake kisses you with fervour, dipping you backwards like you're in a movie. You squeal, gripping the nape of his neck for balance. He picks you up and spins you around, twirling you like a fairytale.

"What about everyone here?" you ask, forehead pressed to Jake's.

"We'll miss them, and they'll miss us, but we'll all be okay."

He's right. These people are your family, but they'll understand. You have to do what's best for you.

"Do you really wanna go as soon as we can?"

"Yeah, Jake. I meant it. We can start packing right now."

He wraps his arms around your middle and carries you upstairs, throwing the closet doors open while you grab your suitcase.

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places

The sun beats down on your skin, warming you up from the outside in. There's a breeze whipping through your hair, carrying salt from the ocean into the car. The sunroof is down, allowing you to breathe in the fresh air.

Jake's hand slides across the centre console and onto your thigh, thumb rubbing circles into your bare skin.

"You okay?"

He's looking over at you, taking his eyes off the road for a split second.

"I'm good, baby."

He smiles, the grin reaching every feature of his face, lighting him up.

You've been on the road for months, stopping and starting however and whenever you please. A motel here, a beach apartment there. You've lost count of how many states you've travelled through, collecting postcards in each one.

You'll settle down, eventually. You've been making a list of your favourite places you've visited, ranking them as you go. You'll most likely buy a place in your top choice. But not yet.

For now, you're content with the open road. The convertible car, all your belongings in a suitcase in the trunk, roof down at every opportunity. You like not staying in one place for too long. It weirdly suits you.

Jake's never looked happier. He glows, smile lines creasing the corner of his eyes. He laughs so often, and you never get tired of the sound.

You glance down to the golden band on your left hand, smiling softly.

"What are you thinking about?" your husband asks, squeezing your thigh.

"Vegas," you beam. "Never did I think I'd be married by an Elvis impersonator in a bright blue chapel."

"I'm the epitome of class, baby. You know this."

Both of you are grinning, chuckling gently.

"We did the right thing. Leaving."

"Yeah, we did. I'm glad I believed what you said."

"What did I say?"

"That you knew places."

He traces a love heart on your skin with his thumb, over and over again.

"Told you, baby. I know places."

[unadulteratedsoulsweets]

A DC X DP IDEA #26

History hates Lovers

Imagine dis…

When Batman got lost in time it was said that he made some signs or even some symbols that send a message in the future. For example, a portrait that looked exactly like him or even a cave painting of a bat that looked too modernized to be from the early cavemen.

But it seems that we have forgotten that every change that he made whether it was just standing in a portrait as a background has a severe consequence in the time stream. The butterfly effect rests on the notion that the world is deeply interconnected, such that one small occurrence can influence a much larger complex system. The effect is named after an allegory for chaos theory; it evokes the idea that a small butterfly flapping its wings could, hypothetically, cause a typhoon.

Small changes could result in another and entirely new timeline, whether the changes were small enough that people don’t notice or large enough that people merely conceived it as normal.

But at the end of the day it still changes, so how did the timeline remain stable as it is?

(I am no expert in time travel so don’t get your hopes up, I do enjoy a good time travel or time travel -fix it fic in A03)

���

Bruce didn’t know where and when he is right now. Still weak and disoriented from the consent way he fell from each timeline. One moment he could be in the middle of a group of cavemen and then he was at the edge of a town in the Middle Ages. 

He kept sending messages subtle as they may be, as long as they survived the passage of time and arrived to his future. He just hopes that his teammates can see his messages, especially with the flash in their midst who had both knowledge and experience in time travel.

He tried to fit in every time he tried to send a message as the last thing, he needed was to change the time. 

…

But little did Bruce know the little messages he kept making and sending, despite their subtleness still created a butterfly effect. It makes some of the people in the period who were supposed to be in time to some event pause and take a look at the mysterious symbols and signs that Bruce made. Thus, making them late or even have some delay, thus creating a large domino effect that started small. From insignificant people, people who are just literally background characters who just have a very short greeting or meeting with someone in the event made the entire timeline crack.

Clockwork was looking at the time stream due to the fragile situation at hand. CW knew that this event was crucial for the Red Robin’s growth as a detective and vigilante. But the small cracks are turning into something unchangeable, CW knew that this was the only communication that the Dark Knight could send as well it was his way to get back to his own time.

Yet CW can see the cracks getting larger and larger, with each move that the Dark Knight made creating more holes in his known future. Usually, such events as the Dark Knight's faces don’t create any consequences or even affect the time stream of the said dimension as it was meant to be. An event unavertable in the end is more justifiable than the means.

But due to the Flash family going back in time as well the countless time traveler visitors made the time stream in that dimension week and prone to break in any given time. It was just a surprise to CW that it lasted so long.

CW found a solution in the form of his apprentice/ grandson, Phantom. Despite the young ghost being an Ancient of Space as well as the King of Infinite Realms he still needs a mentor to not only guide him to his new duties as an Ancient but also his responsibilities as the future High King.

Space and Time are two sides of the same coin thus CW ended up being the mentor of the young Phantom. 

Clockwork sent Danny to not only seal in the cracks in the flow of time but also want some great-grandchildren, if you heard the last part then you heard nothing from me.

…

Danny didn’t know he was getting in when Clockwork sent him out to another errand at another time. He should have gotten used to CW’s vague and cryptic errands through time when he was a teen, but as he was sealing another crack from time, he saw something that shouldn’t be in the period. A man clearly from out of time trying and failing to fit in, though he may have fooled the locals but he had been traveling and fixing time since he was in high school. 

At first, he looked perplexed but if CW didn’t mention anything then he won’t do anything.

But slowly Danny realized that whichever period the guy was in, it was where the next set of cracks would be, so Danny decided to follow the guy.

…

Bruce may still be weary and tired from the constant falling through time but even in his tired state can see that there is someone following him.

Every era there that man was, seemingly walking around aimlessly but then he noticed that he kept a good distance away from him.

Eventually, it led to and confrontation between the two males.

…

Danny who explained that despite having the power to travel through time cannot help Bruce as his little messages are creating small cracks in the time stream and are merely there to seal up the cracks, but offers news that he will get back to his own time.

Bruce who is just wishing for human contact that relates to him as well in the verge of going off to the Flash to stop going back in time for another chance to eat a breakfast that tasted better than before.

…

The two began conversing with one another and slowly fell in love.

…

Bruce is the first one to fall hard, Danny whose light-heartedness brought Bruce out of his shell. It had only taken a few conversations with each other to lose his shield around his heart. Danny both accepted both Bruce and Batman within him. Danny’s smile lights up Bruce’s world, at first Bruce tries to hide his feelings to Danny so as not to lose his only companion throughout the ordeal.

…

The two began dancing around their feelings and Bruce in an out of character of him sent a love letter and a poem to Danny when the ghost was needed somewhere else to seal the crack.

As old as I am, I have had the most dreadful experiences in love. I have a very dark past and I'm a damaged soul. My past experiences have groomed me into believing that there's no such thing as true love, but with you, I feel different. You make me fall in love with myself too. You always make me smile, and I'm scared. I'm scared to fall in love and get broken again, I'm scared to give my all, only to be used again, to get shamed and embarrassed. I've seen how careful and caring you are around me, but sometimes you give me a cold shoulder, and it's small things like these that break me. Please bear with me and be fragile. I come from a very painful past where I had to be a woman and have no say. All this love and affection is a little scary to me because I'm not used to it. I'm falling for you and I'm falling hard. I hope our love story has a happy ending. Know that I will always love and cherish you.

 (Mmakoma Kamogelo. "My Confession." Family Friend Poems, September 6, 2016. https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-confession-2)

Danny who received the letter burned red from reading the poem to the point his freckles were the only thing prominent on his red face, Danny knew that this man was from the future and couldn't help but feel a little bit insecure. That man, the Batman is someone out of his league but sends out a letter and a poem of his own.

Published by Family Friend Poems September 2016 with permission of the Author.

My love for you is uncontrollable.

 My feelings for you are unstoppable.

 Can't go a day without thinking about you.

 Without you, I'm not complete.

 With you, my heart finds its beat.

 My heart is filled with joy because of your love.

 You are my strength, and without you I'm weak.

 Before you came into my life, I was

 Hopeless, lonely, sad.

 When you showed up, I knew that you were sent to me. (Namely CW, Danny just knew that old Ancient did something)

 You are always here to support me.

 Your smile makes me shy,

 And sometimes I wonder where you have been all this while,

 But I'm just glad that I managed to get you in my life...

 YOU FILL MY HEART WITH JOY!

(Mmakoma Kamogelo. "My Confession." Family Friend Poems, September 6, 2016. https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-confession-2)

…

When the two realized both were pinning to one another began sending each other little love notes, in the form of short poems to full-blown letters.

Both males whenever received a letter when one was apart, collected and hid it in a box to reread each stroke of the letter from the other, and whenever they were together, they just spent the entire day basking in each other’s presence.

Their little note exchange didn’t stop whenever Bruce fell to another period, Danny just followed him and started a new exchange mail of letters.

Of course, both used pseudonyms in their letters ranging from initials to fake names using only the letters from their names.

…

When Bruce was saved by Red Robin, he felt relieved as he could now stop falling into another period but another shock as he didn’t get to say goodbye to Danny.

Bruce knew that someday it come, but he was going to offer Danny the future with him. He is going to offer Danny the world, but it seems that it was never meant to be.

Maybe that’s why his past self never met Danny, too disappointed, too dejected to meet him once again.

…

It has been a few months since he came back to his future, it was another family outing organized by Dick.

It was a museum featuring the latest found by archeologists, as Bruce was surveying case to another case, he fell upon a worn-out parchment with his handwriting.

Wide-eyed, Bruce looked closely at the exhibit and found that the description said the letter was about a man named “Brooks” confessing his love in the form of a short poem to a woman named “Daniella” who had the same feelings as him but had other responsibilities to fully go where he is.

Bruce began looking at the other exhibits and there along rows and rows of his letter exchange with Danny from different periods. 

Jason and Tim who were a few cases away from him began having a heated discussion with a stranger about the supposed woman in the letters being a man the entire exchange is between a pair of male couple, and the so-called Historians are hiding the fact that it was between men.

Bruce was about to interfere with the upcoming verbal fight when a stranger beside him commented that “Daniella” probably missed “Brooks” as the last letter and poem to the exchange when “Daniella” noticed that “Brooks” is no longer responding is…

(By E.E. Cummings)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

 my heart)I am never without it(anywhere

 I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

 by only me is your doing, my darling)

                           I fear

 no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)i want

 no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

 and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

 and whatever a sun will always sing is you

 here is the deepest secret nobody knows

 (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

 and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

 higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

 and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

 (E.E. Cummings. "[i Carry Your Heart With Me(i Carry It In]." Family Friend Poems, https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/i-carry-your-heart-with-me-by-ee-cummings)

Bruce is startled as he doesn’t even notice Danny’s last letter to him when he takes a good look at the stranger…

…

There he is, Danny in his early 30’s looking at him with softness and deep love in his eyes and a gentle smile. As if he hadn’t waited centuries for Bruce to appear once again, and what looked like willing to wait once again for him.

…

PS: If someone out there wanted to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so, don’t forget to tag me though.

PPS: As you can see, I have never fallen in love and please mind my poor and lack of love life in my life to relate to my work.

PPPS: I decided to post a bit early, I've got something going on to the actual February 14.

[chainkeepustogetherr]

FLUFF ALPHABET, JEFF BUCKLEY

( A ) AFFECTION - how affectionate are they?

oh do not even get me started… he is genuinely the pure definition of affectionate/an affectionate person. no matter what time it is, what vibe it is, where you guys currently are or what you both are currently doing, he certainly will show an unadulterated & unconditional amount of affection towards you. wether that be verbally or physically, it don’t matter one bit! he absolutely loves showering you with love at all times <3

( B ) BEAUTY - what do they admire most about you? what do they think is your most beautiful feature/attribute?

he loves your eyes, he finds solace & peace in lovingly gazing into your eyes. he often finds himself writing poetry in his mind of a million different ways to eccentrically describe them. same thing with your smile, there isn’t a lot more he loves then seeing you smile! especially when its caused by him <33

( C ) CUDDLES - do they like to cuddle? and if so, how?

YES. YES AND YES. it genuinely soothes him like no other. after a long, meticulously stressful day, his only remedy is eloping himself into your arms, or you into his.

& he is most definitely the skin to skin, chest to forehead type cuddler as opposed to spooning or any of the other “techniques”. it makes him feel as close to you as possible.

( D ) DREAMS - how do they picture their future with you?

i feel like, jeff’s not prone to thinking about the future, although. he is certain that a life without you in it would be bleak & miserable, & that he wants to spend the rest of his days as your lover

( E ) EQUAL - are they the dominant one in the relationship or passive?

i think he would definitely share both characteristics, not necessarily confined to one.

( F ) FIGHTING - what are they like during a fight? how quickly would they able to forgive/be forgiven?

id say jeff would be the kind to use words as weapons in an argument, though he would never ever raise his voice at you, or yell in any form. the second he sees tears forming within your eyes, or noticed your lack of verbal communication, he instantly rushes to your side, exclaiming how sorry he is, & how what was said wasnt meant, & that he loves you dearly

( G ) GENTLE - how gentle are they?

EXTREMELY. gentle. so so so gentle to the point where sometimes you feel as if he sees you as fragile, in the most wholesome way possible. his touch is the most delicate & gentle, alongside the way in which he tells you he loves you.

( H ) HONESTY - do they have any secrets from you? or do they share every little detail?

oh, every little detail is 1000% shared. he tells you everything, from birth to current day, mundane & classified as “boring” to moments that shaped him, its almost as if you know him just as much as he knows himself.

( I ) I LOVE YOU - how long does it take for them to say the L word? how do they say it?

he says it practically the second he feels it, most likely through a letter/poem he wrote you, or as he’s admiring you, seemingly dozing off due to his fascination with you

( J ) JEALOUSY - do they get jealous? if so, how?

yes, he tends to get slightly jealous at times. it truly depends on the person & situation. its more so a jealousy in the sense of, “thats MY lover, not yours” as opposed to an insecurity or controlling based jealousy. when jealous, he often becomes slightly smug, boasting that you are very much his, & he has the gift of being able to love you, & vice versa

( K ) KISSES - what are their kissing habits? are they a good kisser?

soft, slow & sensual would be 3 words to describe the way he kisses you. its hardly ever rushed, only ever filled with love & admiration, even in more sexual settings. & lets be real… 10/10 kisser.

( L ) LOVE CONFESSION - how do they confess their love?

1000% through a (not so) discreet love letter, pouring out every ounce of emotion he has felt for you from current day, to the moment he first laid eyes on you.

( M ) MORNINGS - how are mornings spent with them?

mornings are sooo incredibly soft w/ jeff. 9/10 you wake up entangled within each others arms, legs knotted up together, hair a total mess. he often mutters a “g’d morning my love”, before pressing a lil kiss to your temple, inching himself closer to you than before. though, morning sex is almost always guaranteed as well

( N ) NIGHTS - how are nights spent with them?

nights are often really, really calm. theyre usually spent cuddled up together on the couch, watching a stupid tv show/movie, or dancin’ around the apartment with some zeppelin playing on vinyl

( O ) ON CLOUD NINE - what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?

oh, its so stupidly obvious to practically everyone. the way in which he looks at you with soft eyes, always protective over what youre doin’, constantly asking for you to come to shows, always boasting about you, spending his afternoon’s writing poems about you, the list goes on.

he expresses them through “jokes”, or sarcasm hidden as the truth. example being, you boasting about a kind favour jeff did for you, & one of his bandmates/friends exclaiming it to be “him being totally head over heels for you”, jeff often “sarcastically” nods along saying “what can i say? its true, im totally in love with you”. “sarcastically”

( P ) PDA - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their s/o in front of others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

i feel like, jeff would often times keep his relationship details private, feeling as though he wants to keep it between you & him, as his own, but he 10000% brags about you at any given chance. wether that be to others, or privately in his journal. though he will show you affection in public whenever he deems necessary. by no means will he stop simply because people are around

( Q ) QUIZZES - how much do they remember about you?

oh. this man remembers everything. you mentioned months ago how youd love an amethyst pendant? 4 months later he hands you one in a velvet bag. you mentioned years ago you loved glitter pens when you were a child? the ink recently ran out on your favourite pen? guess what kind of pen jeff mysteriously gives you? a glitter pen. he remembers your order to every food store, he notices & remembers the things that calm you down, the way you react to specific things, everything,

( R ) ROMANCE - how romantic are they?

i dont even need to go there.

this man, will write you novels upon novels of poems about his undying love for you, without any form of reasoning. he would do anything for you, anything to make you happy, & anything to show you that he cares

( S ) SECURITY - how protective are they of you?

extremely protective. again, he would do anything to make sure you were happy, healthy & safe. even if it meant risking something of his own.

( T ) TRY - how much effort do they put into dates/special occasions?

so so so so so so so so much effort. he’ll plan it for weeks upon weeks, remembering every little thing youve told him you loved or wanted, & placing it into one (multiple) special days.

(A/N;)

a blurb & other lil proper works are comin’ soon !! currently in the making<3

FOR NOW, enjoy this !

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: Finding the right career

Hello :p

Today's reading is a career guidance, where we're going to look at your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to your career, what motivates you and the potential for growth to see what career would suit you the most.

This reading is meant for people who are wondering about what path to take, or those wishing to make a change. We'll also look at how you'll be able to tell it's indeed the right choice.

As always this is a general reading that may not apply to everyone 100%.

Note that if you like my reading style, I offer private readings. You can learn more about that in my pinned post.

Pile 1

Cards: 5 of Cups, 6 of Swords, Justice, the Lovers, 2 of Cups, 3 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, 5 of Swords, Knight of Swords, King of Wands, Knight of Wands, Ace of Swords, Knight of Cups, 6 of Wands

It seems you are not that driven by money, but rather, by a strong sense of righteousness. It seems you are well aware of the human pains and struggles. You know how fragile life can be, and you think it's important to do something meaningful, not only for you own sense of purpose, but also for the sake of others.

Really, where other would pursue careers for fame or money, for you it's just about following your truth and speak your mind and heart. There is a real quest for meaning and doing what's right and a relentless pursuit to leave what doesn't align with truth behind. Where other would just accept what's not fair as something that cannot be changed, you refuse to take that stance and strive for change.

However, I see that you have a hard time with social or collaborative jobs. You don't like mingling with people, a networking event is probably your own personal hell, and you'd rather work on your own without having to rely on anyone's opinion. Could be a problem in your line of work since it's showing up strongly in this reading. It's also possible that you tend to be very critical of those around you, because you see their flaws clearly, and it's stopping you from seeing the good in people.

You are motivated by the idea of building something worth marveling for. You want to create something that will inspire and educate those around you and have a long lasting impact on your community. You want to be seen as a reference, and even though you don't want to have other people put their nose in your work, you still want to contribute to humanity's knowledge with the results of your hard work. There is the idea of a common effort towards a greater goal.

However, for you it'll be important to develop some skills. The cards point at some inner work that have to do with putting yourself down, devaluing yourself by comparing yourself to others. It's a source of great despair for you and something you need to work on. People are not metrics, we are all different in one way or another and comparing yourself to others the way you're doing it is actually detrimental to the quality of your work, as well as your well-being. It's also possible that all the conflicts in the world affect your mental health a great deal, connected to what you witness in the world. It will be important to keep going and not burn yourself out.

There is a lot of raw potential for growth in the realm of ambition and leadership, which it seems you haven't fully embraced yet. You can be a figure of authority in your field, leading with your sharp mind and ambitious assertiveness. You have the potential to be a strong willed, determined professional that can't be stopped by anything and will tackle the most difficult project.

For these reasons, I think the career it's pointing at has to do with the realm of communicating ideas, perhaps writing, academia or journalism. You will be able to cut through lies and outdated ideas with your words, seeking to bring clear communication. There is again the idea of service made to others, led by your sense of purpose and thirst for truth. This career would put you in the public eye where you would be celebrated openly for your work and ideas. I see this pile as someone who investigates, either matters of the world, society, politics, economics or science. In all cases, it allows you to combine your cleverness, your empathy and ambitious nature.

Finally, you'll be able to tell it's the right path for you because it will ignite your passion. You won't be able to think of anything else but the task at hand, and what to do to achieve it. The greater the challenge, the more fiery your determination will be. It will definitely not be something you hesitate on and will feel like a calling.

Pile 2

Cards: the Emperor, Judgement, 2 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, 9 of Swords, King of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, the Hierophant Rx, the Tower, the Hanged Man, 3 of Cups, 8 of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords

Your qualities when it comes to this career are about being a reliable figure in the life of those you help. The helping aspect comes up strongly as it will show in this reading, and basically it already show in your strengths. It's like you help people come to life again in some way. You are strong when it comes to leading the way towards transformation, and have a strong impact on people. They can sense they can come to you for support and you give a vibe of wisdom and order.

However, it seems that you are also quite inexperienced and this is making you hesitate quite a lot. There is probably a strong learning curve when it comes to this career and you're not quite there yet. You may be lacking something, whether its the status or the resources, in order to fully embody your qualities. So it seems your situation right now is a weakness, and that it's not so much coming from you.

What drives you is, again, the desire to help those in need, those in pain who don't know where to get help from, when it seems there is no way out or hope left. You see their pain clearly and it somehow motivates you and gives you a sense of purpose in life. You might be religious or spiritual in some way and this feeds your motivation to help and care, like some type of mission.

When it comes to skills you can to develop here, there is a need to remain detached in the face of adversity to not let it submerge you, perhaps to let go of your own fatalistic vision of life. There is a lot of talk around you, and perhaps you listen to the words of others too much and it's making you confused and directionless. You must get your mind in order and be firmly set into your own stability, by being pragmatic and protective of your own well-being. Stop listening to everything everyone says and remain grounded in your own judgement.

So all that is telling me that your career has to do with helping the sick, be they mentally or physically impaired. You show up as a very nurturing figure, someone who wish to see people thrive and get back to health, and I see you surrounded by people with bandages, or people who are disabled in one way or another (again for some of you it could be mentally or physically). Your future career may be nurse, rehabilitation or support worker, or even doctor of some kind.

It seems that for some of you, this career will be embraced after you've been somewhat forced by life to take a different turn, something you hadn't anticipated and shows up as a surprise. For others, it could simply mean that you will be surrounded by catastrophic accidents and unforeseen circumstances, and I'm picturing an emergency room when I'm writing this. Like, you will be forced to grow because the chaos surrounding you will call for someone to do something, and you've got what it takes to do so.

You will know this is the right path for you after contemplating your decision for a long time. You'll mull over your choices and options, and even discuss it with loved ones in order to make sure its the right one for you because you don't take it lightly as it will come with some type of sacrifice for your time and energy. Basically you'll need to dedicate yourself fully to this and you know this. But overall, once you're decided, you'll be very happy of your choice and eager to enjoy the good sides that comes with the job.

Pile 3

Cards: 8 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, 9 of Wands, King of Cups, the Fool, the Star, the Empress, 10 of Swords rx, 2 of Swords, Death, 5 of Wands, Page of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, the Magician, Judgement, 7 of Cups

When it comes to your strengths, you're someone who can fuel themselves with the shit that life throws at them, never fully loosing their balance. You know how to get yourself out of tricky situation where you're blinded, and you're able to transmute your pains and power through the difficulties, never giving up even when it seems all odds are against you. What makes other abandon just make you angrier and more determined to succeed. You are extremely resilient and this gives you an outlook on life that anything is possible. If something doesn't work you discard it and move on to the next thing.

However, it seems you are sometimes too eager to try something new without committing to one thing for a long time. You're a Jack of all trades and it's hard to get you stay in the same spot for long. It's like, you keep wanting to try to see if this path is better than this one, or if this thing would be more exciting than this other thing, and so on. You emotions also tend to shift easily and influence the way you see things, it's like, you feel things so intensely it's overwhelming and that's just the way you function and it's hard to live differently.

When it comes to what drives you, you get a great sens of purpose coming from beauty and aesthetics, or even arts. The path towards beauty and pleasure, is the highroad to heaven for you. You are truly an aesthete at heart, and want nothing more than to honor what you find sublime in the world, as for you it is the purpose and the meaning of life.

When it comes to what skill you can develop, you got two cards signifying blockage and defeat, which makes me think this has a lot to do with overcoming you own issues surrounding your creative expression, which stem from your mind. It's like, nothing is really getting in your way but your own thoughts. You have trouble releasing your perceived failure so you're stopping yourself from trying anything different, fearing it will only confirm your loss. Perhaps that's the reason you keep switching things all the time, because can you really fail if you never tried until the very end?

There is a deep potential for growth though, and it has to do with the way your compare yourself to either other people, or to your own ideal self. It's like, you've got this image in your mind of what you should achieve and you're tormenting yourself for not being able to achieve it. What you don't understand it's that it's counter productive and that you have to put an end to this way of thinking. You need to break the pattern in order to be free.

All of this makes me think that your job has to do with some type of artistic or creative career where you bring ideas into the world, pulling them from a space unique and special to you. The idea of transforming things, putting values into question, bending rules is also quite important, as well as is the idea of communication to a larger audience. I will also add that you might not box yourself into just one type of creative expression, but rather  dabble into many different things. It seems you are  not so much passionate about one medium but rather as I said earlier by the pursuit of beauty in all its form, so I totally see you trying out different things and it seems that you'll be good at most of them naturally.

You will know it's the right path for you because it'll allow you to have a vision. It's like, you'll find a tiny window with a tiny opportunity and it'll ignite you mind, making you think about all that's possible in every different direction, and the legacy you could leave. It's really all about triggering your long term motivation and what will make you want to dedicate your life, or long time anyway, to. As we saw earlier, you have commitment issues regarding your creative pursuits so this will have to do with sticking to it in the long term, even if that means doing multiple things in parallel or taking breaks and coming back to things.

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as 1989 Songs

+ bonus! the slytherin boys as romance tropes

I decided to shake this one up a bit and do all happy love songs

here's 1989 (tv ofc); which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as I Know Places

best lyric(s) - "let them say what they want we won't here it" + "love's a fragile little flame it could burn out" + "just grab my hand and don't ever drop it"

trope - enemies to lovers :)

mattheo w a crush - in love, mattheo is somewhere in the middle between being sappy and just straight up insulting you. not like calling you ugly or anything but like "damn i didn't know it was possible to mess up such an easy spell" like kind of teasing. he's one of those guys that will be mean at first and then be like playfully mean and then finally, will start being nice to you but only sometimes. he just thinks you're adorable when you're angry.

mattheo as a boyfriend - now as a boyfriend, mattheo still teases the hell out of you but god forbid literally anyone else does bc he'll kill them. like actually. also the pair of you go through a little bit of a rough patch during the war and he keeps telling you that you have to stay way from him but secretly, he's really happy that you never actually listen to him because he doesn't know what he would do without you. he just kind of ignores all the whispers and hogwarts becomes your guys' like safe little happy love bubble.

draco malfoy as Out of the Woods

best lyric(s) - "the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color" + "when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you" + "I walked out I said 'i'm setting you free' but the monsters turned out to be just trees"

trope - everyone can see it except for you

draco w a crush - I think draco would be the kind of guy that actively avoided his crush. like if you were sitting in the very front of transfigurations, he was sitting in the absolute furthers corner in the back. If you were going on the hogsmeade trip, he was begging his friends would leave him to simmer in his affections for you. he's just so nervous and so certain you'll dislike him that he'd rather not talk to you at all. when he finally does work up the courage, he's extremely happy and like eternally grateful that you'd give him a chance.

draco as a boyfriend - i do think though that draco is not always the best at communicating just because he always wants everything to be so perfect and he doesn't want there to be anything that he says that could make you resent him so he'd rather not say anything at all. obv, this doesn't work out well for him cause like... communicating w you is so essential. y'all get into arguments fairly regularly but you always end up making up because he's always just creating those demons in his head and it's almost never that serious.

theodore nott as Suburban Legends

best lyric(s) - "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious" + "when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" + "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out"

trope - hopeless romantic

theo w a crush - I think with a crush theo would be the kind of guy that just simps like a mf. like you need someone to carry your books, he's there, why would you even try to carry them yourself? just let him take care of it. or like, when you're not feeling well and you might need to spend a few days in the hospital wing, while you're sleeping theo sneaks in and leaves the notes for the classes you missed as well as your favorite sweets and flowers. (one time when michael corner made you cry, he beat the snot out of him and then the next day left this huge teddy bear outside your door with the note "y/n, that douchebag sucks. -tn")

theo as a boyfriend - theo's simp nature carries over when he's a bf so he's super freaking caring. he does literally everything for you. he'll brush your hair when you get out of the shower if you ask. or if you're like me and you have like thicker ethnic hair, he'll ask you to show him how to do your hair so that he can do it for you. he's also one of those guys that's like casually dominant. like hand on your lower back in a crowd, opening your doors, reaching up and grabbing things from the top shelf for you. naturally protective in the sense of like he always wants to sleep closest to the door in case something happens and like is also always making sure you eat and get enough water.

lorenzo berkshire as "Slut!"

lyric(s) - "and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love" + "and i break down then he's pulling me in. in a world of boys he's a gentleman" + "got love struck went straight to my head"

trope - friends to lovers

enzo w a crush - enzo is the kind of guy who's not afraid to be in love. he actually loves it. he loves having someone to compliment and shower in gifts and win over. where mattheo would tease you, draco would avoid you, and theo would lose himself in you, enzo is the guy who would bring you inexplicable joy and make sure you knew that it was him that was bringing you joy. not to say that he wouldn't do sweet gestures and such but he's the sort of guy that will make you his best friend and then make you fall in love with him.

enzo as a boyfriend - because of this, you and enzo are like those like childhood friends turned lovers type of thing. he just knows you so well and the love between you two comes so easily. he makes it his personal mission to make you smile at least once a day. as your boyfriend, he's just really playful. things like pillow fights and tickle fights. he's also that boyfriend that will do all those little stupid tiktok trends with you but like really energetically and not just like half-assed bc if it's gonna make you smile, he's going all in.

---

4.25.24

wc 1k

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[sanvcnblvd]

[In the quiet, in the crowd] by dazedandconfused

[In the quiet, in the crowd] by dazedandconfused

This story is heaaaaavy.

There are some storytellers in the fandom that really know how to rip your heart out. Lounarsky (formally peppermintpatties) and acastle are two that come to mind for me.

When someone on Twitter recommended this fic I thought it was an interesting premise–I didn’t think I would be this affected by it. (Very mild spoiler alert) if dazedandconfused had ended this fic on the penultimate chapter like they had originally intended, I think I would have been devastatedddddddddd.

I ruminated for a while if I could ever make a book cover for this fic that could possibly convey the emotion in the story and how I would even begin to approach it.

Inspiration kind of hit me like:

And so I banged out this cover in about 6 hours.

The scene in the Paris cafe was iconic, but I remember coming across the gif above while scrolling the hellscape of Twitter and it just all came together.

The scene and their hands being framed in the centre reminded me of The Creation of Adam

The hands to signify the way Henry and Alex communicate through sign language

The crack in the stucco to symbolize the story being told in two parts

The hesitation/fidgeting that Taylor seems to convey through his hands is very apt to this story

I designed the artwork with The Creation of Adam in mind, and went for a fragile and delicate vibe via “painting style” because that’s what Alex and Henry’s relationship felt to me in this story.

Shout out to @cha-melodius for pointing out that Apple Watches would not be time accurate to this story, and that I almost included it.

Another shout out to Taylor Zakhar Perez’s hand vein that I had to include in the cover.

Also, the way my brain would cause problems when I stare at one of my artworks for too long–I couldn’t unsee hand puppets and googly eyes. Ngl, for a very split second I was gonna scrap the whole thing and start over because of it but i’ll power through.

The full poster that can be added to the .epub file for your kindle/e-book reader is at the end of the post! If you need any assistance, please don't be afraid to ask!