#and I think for some of the wrong ones I got the characters will be voice by different people but they’ll sound EXACTLY the same

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Hello! I would like to make a request about Dae-Ho, a character I love. I would like the story to show how Dae-Ho and the reader develop a special connection during the games, despite being on opposite sides. She is part of Thanos' team, but they still interact frequently. On one of those nights, they kiss and promise to get to know each other better once it's all over. However, that promise is not fulfilled because she dies in the carousel game.

I hope this story fits the bill. Happy holidays! <3

Anything Is Possible?

KANG DAE-HO X READER

Summary- You are number 230's, rapper Choi Su-bong, sister. Just because you are on 'Thanos Team', does that mean you can Dae-Ho cant get together? Will you survive long enough?

Warnings- Squid Games, Angst, mentions of blood, murder, and death

A/N- I combined this ask with another anon request, "badass reader and daeho! maybe she is related to 100 and that's why the romance is kind of forbidden but she doesn't agree with his actions and thinks daeho is very cute. I would love a first kiss between the two, which she initiated and he was all embarrassed but really excited" I hope y'all don't mind, they were very similar!

Word Count- 4,605

"What is your problem!" You found yourself yelling at your brother. While this was not uncommon, the situation surely was. Thanos the rapper, or just known as Choi Su-bong to you, had pushed several people down on purpose. This killed them in the Red light, Green light game.

"You killed them!" You continued, though he did not seem to care.

"Look, as far as 'The Thanos' is concerned, each body means more cash for MOI!" He spoke, uncaring.

"Oh, and if it was me, would you let me get shot!" You crossed your arms, eyeing him up and down.

He looked around, checking for any guards. He then slipped out his cross form under his shirt. You knew he had some kind of drug in there.

"Look, if it will shut you up, you can have one. But keep your mouth closed!" He ushered his cross in your direction. You rolled your eyes.

"I'd like to at least be aware of my surrounding in a death defying game!" "Shhh, Shhhh!" His face scrunched up as he looked at you, offended. He thought someone might have been drawn to your choice words.

You scoffed and walked off, sitting on the edge of a bed to catch a train of thought.

With a puff, you pressed your head into your hands. Could you really go on like this? Risking your life? Then it hit you, your life was over either way. Loan sharks were bound to kill you the second you left... Might as well go out with a bang?

The gruesome thought lingered until you felt the bed sink next to you.

"Thanos, I don't want to-" You looked up to not see your brother. Instead a man with a '388' on his jacket.

"Well I'm not sure who 'Thanos' is, but are you doing okay?" He looked genuinely concerned.

You started at him for a second, "Like fifty people just died..."

He faltered, "W-well yeah... Obviously you aren't okay... I just, I saw you arguing with that guy... The one with purple hair." You sigh again at his response. Well, this might be the last conversation you ever have. Why not be an open book!

"That's my brother. He thinks since he got one hit song, he can boss anyone around." You again rolled your eyes at the thought of him.

"Oh... I see. I-I have three older sisters, I know how it can get." He said, trying to offer you some sort of condolence.

You gave a side smile at him, appreciative of his efforts. "Thanks... What got you into these games?" You figured there's no reason for 'proper exchanges.' What was the point anymore?

He seemed ashamed at the question. "Sorry, if it makes you feel any better- I'm about 30 million won in debt. Some online crypto coin my brother swindled me into. Lost big time." You explained.

He shook his head, "No, no, its fine. See, I was a marine. Couldn't find a job after I got out. Guess I just got carried away with the wrong people... Got into some bad loans."

You gave a sympathetic face. "That sucks..." He just nodded sheepishly.

A silence fell between you two, but it wasn't awkward or annoying. It just...was.

"Well, uh, which are you going to vote?" He asked like it had been on the tip of his tongue all day.

As the Guards had told us earlier, we would get a chance to vote before the next game. Stay or Go.

"My brother seems pretty adamant on staying... And I honestly don't think it would be smart to piss him off anymore. He's got me in his little clique already." You didn't really know which one you would have chosen if the vote was anonymous.

He nodded in understanding. "I mean, I don't have a groupie or anything. But, you could stick with me if you wanted."

Your heart fluttered. Looking up at him, you seemed to just notice how handsome he was... Then reality hit.

"I deeply appreciate that... But I think you might have better odds without me. Choi- uh Thanos, would probably do something to you... I don't really want to risk it, I'm sorry." You knew that you really did want to be on his team, but you also knew how your brother was.

He had a slight look of defeat on his face, "I get it. I feel confident about the next game. I mean, if they're all children games, how hard can it be? I'll vote the same as you."

You agreed, "Then, maybe I can talk to Thanos? See if he wants another member?" You smiled at him.

He opened his mouth to speak, happily, but the two of you were interrupted when the pink guards came back in. Letting everyone know it was time to vote.

"See ya on the other side." You said, standing up to rejoin Thanos. Plus his newly acquired group of 3.

"Yes ma'am!" He responded, giving a small salute. You just laughed as you glanced at him a last time.

------------------------------------------

"Are you crazy!" Thanos whisper-yelled at you, turning the two of you away from the group. "Are you tryna embarrass me in front of my boys!" He scolded you like a child. His arms and shoulders going up.

"It's not that big of a deal, he was a marine, he could be good for us." Thanos just "tsked' in response.

"No. We are already perfecto. No more room." He said as-a-matter-of-fact. His arms making an 'X.'

You turned and looked at the two men staring at you. "Thanos, there are four of us in total. What if the next game is five players!"

"Huh, and what if its four! Then I'd be pushing YOU out, Cause of ya mouth." He made faces at you, then laughed loudly. "I'm just joking sistah! I'd only do that if you really pissed me off.... We are sticking to four." His expression turned serious.

"Fine."

At a mere coincidence, you turned around and saw '388' staring at you. You mouthed a 'sorry' and shook your head. Signalling Thanos said 'no.'

He nodded, then smiled at you anyways. At that, you watched him walk over and sit with a group of 'X's.

------------------------------------------

The lights soon went out. You laid back in your bed, trying to get some kind of sleep. It was useless, especially when you heard a 'psst' right next to you.

You turned your head, playing cool, even though it did startle you a bit. "Shh, It's just me." The voice rang familiar, and when you squinted your eyes in the dark your made out number 388's face. He was on his knees, crouched down next to your bed.

"What are you doing!" You whispered at him, sitting up quickly. Thanos and his two members were just a bed away.

"Shhhh, I have something to tell you." He said, his hands were waving slightly, a nervous tick.

You eyed him, moving closer. "What?"

"One of the guys has played these before. He said he won the games...That he knows which one is next."

Your hands rise to rub sleep from your eyes, "Really? You think he's telling the truth?"

With a frantic nod he continues, "It was the guy who knew about the Red light, Green light. Number 456."

You looked down, "Why are you telling me this..." You questioned, unaware of any kind of unconditional kindness.

"I want you to survive, why else?" You locked eyes with him. They were honest and pure.

"Well, what's the next game?" You didn't know how to respond to such generosity. For all he knew you would stab him in the back. Not that you could bring yourself to, not after he snuck over to tell you.

"He said its Dalgona. Ya know, the game where you scratch out the candy shape?" You knew the game, having played it in your youth.

"Make sure you pick the Triangle. It's the easiest one." You nodded.

At that, a shuffle made both of you turn your head. Thanos moved in his sleep, rolling over. His eyes were closed, but he was now facing you.

"You better go, in case he wakes up." You warned, not wanting any drama.

His head shook in agreeance, he raised to walk off.

"Wait!" You whispered, he looked back. "What's your name?"

"Dae-Ho. Dae-ho Kang."

"Thank you, Dae-ho..." The corners of your face rose, almost grinning at yourself saying his name.

He gave a small wave of his hand, another salute. You suppressed a giggle, and laid back down. Sleep came easier this time...

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your second game, this game will be played in teams. Please divide into teams of five in the next ten minutes."

You looked around, Dalgona was not a team game. Had Dae-Ho lied to you? No, why else would he sneak over in the middle of the night. It didn't make sense. Maybe 456 was lying?

"Should have listened to me, now we have to find another person." You remarked to your brother, smugly.

"Trust trust, my skeptic sister. Thanos has got this under control!" He spoke about himself, immediately levitating to the closest attractive women. You, once again, found yourself rolling your eyes.

"Señorita, excuse me?" You wanted to physically face palm at his attempt at a pickup line.

------------------------------------------

Quickly enough, time selection was up. Everyone was orderly sat in their groups. Conveniently, Dae-Ho and his group sat behind you.

"Dae-Ho." You called, moving to be in his range of sight.

"Ahh, hey!" He said, excitedly. His demeanor changing from skittish when he saw you.

"So, what happened to Dalgona?" You asked, not blaming him- just curious.

He gave an unsure face, equally as confused. "He said the games must not be the same. I'm sorry."

"What for?" You beamed, knowing it was not his fault.

He laughed, "I guess I don't know.."

You just shook your head humorously. "Which game are you going to do?"

"Uhmm, Gong-Gi... My sister's played it a lot, so I'm used to it."

"They've got me doing spinning top. I was never any good at Gong-Gi." You made a glance to Thanos, he was high out of his mind. You caught him slipping Nam-Gyu a pill. He didn't notice you talking to Dae-Ho.

"I wish you the best of luck!" He gave a quick bow of the head.

------------------------------------------

The game went smoothly enough. Though, it took much longer than Red light, Green light. Watching all of the teams go one at a time was excruciating.

A handful of words exchanged with Dae-Ho while waiting was calming, it grounded you. He had nothing to gain by helping you, he simply did. It was flattering.

You and Dae-Ho had figured out that his team was going last. It was nerve-wracking to think about him not making it. No one had ever effected you like this before...

Eventually your team went, suffering frequent verbal degration from Thanos and Nam-Gyu. Thankfully your team made it with 8 seconds to spare. Too close for your comfort.

The worst part came when you had to wait. You felt like you could hear a large clock ticking right by your ear.

Would Dae-Ho's team make it? You didn't doubt his Gong-Gi skills, but he was dependent on the skills of his team mates as well. It was terrifying to think they were shot with not enough time to complete the games.

You couldn't bare Thanos bantering, he complained about every survivor. It just made you more paranoid about Dae-Ho's possible death.

Trying to settle your mind, you stepped away from your group, preferring to sit by yourself on the edge on the steps. You picked at your nails, praying he would make it.

Minutes and minutes went by. No one had come out in a while. Was the game finished? Did they die?

Just as you were about to return to your brother hopeless, one last group appeared.

A gasp left you as you watched Dae-Ho's team emerge. You stood up, cheering with a handful of other players. Your hands were clasped gleefully In front of you.

Dae-Ho's gaze was fixed on you, he chuckled. His first raised in victory.

You gave him a salute back.

------------------------------------------

You managed to slip away from Thanos. He was too busy hitting on Se-Mi. You were grateful for her, it took some of the pressure and attention off of you. You had to remember to thank her later.

"Dae-Ho!" You called out, he turned around and stepped away from his group.

"You were amazing! You went 'Wooshhh' and got the top first try!" He was practically bouncing on his heels. He mimicked the process of spinning a top with his hands and body.

"Thank you, Thank you." You pretended like you were bowing to an applauding audience.

"How did Gong-Gi go?" You asked, antsy. He rubbed the back on his neck.

He grinned deep, "Would you believe me if I said I got it first try too?"

Your face lit up, "Really!"

"I swear it!" He placed a hand across his chest.

You gave a quick clap to him, "I knew you could do it!"

You felt like a schoolgirl again. Talking to Dae-Ho made you feel like a blushing bride. He was such a ray of light and hope for you.

"What do you think the next game is?" He questioned, taking a seat on a step by the large doors.

You thought for a second, "I don't know, Maybe some kind of mind game. Since the last two have been really physical."

He nodded, "Yeah, maybe, maybe. Thats smart thinking."

You joined him on the step facing him. While you were about to change the conversation, you overheard a few people talk about what they were voting next. It reminded you of the real life-or-death situation you were in.

"So, d'ya think you're going to change your vote?" You became more solemn.

"...Yeah, I just... The others have convinced me. I mean, truly, I shouldn't have voted 'stay' in the first place..." He looked down, almost as if he had disappointed you.

"Honestly, Dae-Ho... I want to leave too... But, but, what if I press 'leave', and we still have to continue the games. Then Thanos would be pissed, and deep down I need him. He's still my brother." You hated the fact, but you were scared of what Thanos would do.

Dae-Ho thought for a moment. He mumbled something you didn't quite catch. "What?" He stood up.

"I can protect you. Honest. With my life." Your breath hitched, you stood up as well.

You shook your head, a lump forming in your throat. "Oh Dae-Ho... That's just the thing. I can't have you risking your life. Not for me."

He gently lifted your hands into his. "You are worth risking my life for."

"Dae-Ho, you don't even know my name." Your voice quivered.

He nodded quick, "Then lets change that. What's your name." You bit your bottom lip before telling him.

"Now, I can defend you from Thanos. He won't do anything to do." He ended with your name, it sounded angelic coming from his mouth.

"I'm sorry... I just... can't." You let go of his hands, fully set on walking away. But, he stopped you. He grasped your shoulder.

"Please don't go. I'll stop talking about it, I swear." He pleaded. He truly just wanted to be with you, he was content with you.

And you were with him.

You closed your eyes, shook your head. You fought off any kind of objection. "Okay."

The two of you talked and talked, time ran past. You no longer seemed to worry about the games, just that you knew you wanted to stay with Dae-Ho.

Until, the large doors opened and the pink guards once again announced a vote.

You said a quick 'goodbye' to Dae-ho, hoping the games wouldn't continue. Even if you never saw him again, at least he would be alive.

------------------------------------------

Much to your dismay, the games would continue another round. The vote wasn't even close this time. It was almost relieving, knowing that your vote was not the determining factor.

Once again, the lights went out to signify the night. You noticed teams were huddling together for protection, taking shifts and keeping watch. It was getting more serious as each hour went by. You could not find rest, feeling extremely uneasy.

While you tried to find some sort of reassurance in Thanos, he was fast asleep. You decided to take your chance and go see Dae-Ho. Just as he had done for you.

You knew the general area where his group was, but couldn't make out specific people in the dark. Not from your distance.

You racked up the nerve to quietly shuffle over. Your socks helping to muffle any noise.

"Shh, someone is coming." You heard a man whisper, it was 456. You could see the large numbers next to the 'O' on his jacket.

"I-is Dae-Ho with you..." You ask, shakily.

"And what do you want with him?" A man next to 456 spoke, defensively.

"I- Hes my friend, I need to talk to him." You tried, fiddling with your fingers.

"Yeah, Sure he is. You're probably trying to get in and take one of us out, huh!" The man 390 rose, acting like he was ready to fight.

You stepped back, "No, really, I swear I'm not!"

You heard your name, a confused Dae-Ho crawled out from under a bed. "Dae-Ho, please tell them in not trying to kill any of you."

"What?" He was still weary from sleep, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw the position you and 390 were in, He quickly stepped between the two of you.

"No, No, she wouldn't do that. Really, whatever shes saying she's telling the truth." Dae-Ho came to your rescue.

"Can we talk Dae-Ho?" You stepped closer to him, both of your hands gently resting on his arm. He nodded rapidly, stepping away from his group.

The two of you found a cluster of abandoned beds, and sat on the floor between them

"Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" He looked you over for any visible infliction's.

"No, no I'm fine..." You pulled your knees to your chest. "I just wanted to see you." You felt silly once it left your lips.

His face flushed beet red, you could even tell in the dark. His hair falling in his face made you reach a hand out and brush it back. "O-oh"

"You never told me what you think the next game is, Dae-Ho." You needed a distraction.

He shook his head, like he was getting some thoughts out. "I have no idea... I just hope its an easy one. Gi-Hun, uh 456, said that they've already played Tug-of-war, Marbles, and some kind of glass stepping game. So, uh, I would assume none of those would repeat."

"I'm glad I missed Tug-of-war... That would mean the number of survivors would be half..." You thought.

He changed the subject, beginning with your name. "What's wrong? I know you said you wanted to see me, but, I guess I don't understand why."

"Dae-Ho, I don't really know why either. I just, wanted to be with you. I feel safe with you. I feel like I'm alone anytime you walk away..." You blinked away a stray tear.

Dae-Ho was lost in thought, he had thought his feelings weren't reciprocated. Maybe they were after all?

He didn't have time to speak, because you have lounged yourself forward in a burst of confidence. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pushed him to the floor. He was laid on his back with you on top of him, as you pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

His eyes widened, his body went rigid. When you pulled away to look at him, he stammered. "I-I, Uhm."

At his reaction you pulled away quickly, "I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Can you please do that again." He was now giddy, a fat smile on his face. Excitement radiated out of him. "A-are you sure.. You seemed so..."

"No, no, you just caught me off guard, please, please kiss me again." He scrambled to a sit, hoping you would come closer again.

With a refound joy, you moved closer. This time you went slow, making sure to bask in the moment. You once again wrapped your arms around Dea-Ho's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

"You're perfect.." He mumbled against your lips. Though, he felt something wet on his face. He pulled away, his eyes soft, "Whats wrong?"

You sniffled, "Promise me. Promise me, that after everything is over, that we will find each other." You asked, pressing your cheek against his.

"I swear it, I swear we will meet after the games." He leaned in for another kiss.

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your third game. The game you will be playing is Mingle."

Okay, this one seemed safe. You had a large group, this can work. You tried to be positive, you had someone to look forward to after the game.

"Heyyy, we'll be mingling together. Doesn't that sound like so much fun?" Thanos went on, trying to hype everyone up. The only one who was just as high as him was Nam-Gyu. It worried you that he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings, but at least he wasn't on your tail about everything.

"Please step onto the center platform. When the game starts, the platform will begin to rotate, and you will hear a number. You must form groups of that size, go into the rooms, and close the door within 30 seconds."

You nodded, understanding the rules. Everyone gathered to the platform. You noticed groups staying together, huddling close.

While following Thanos, you passed Dae-Ho's group, you caught his eye and gave him a small salute. It seemed the two of you now had an inside joke.

"Let the game, begin."

At the jump and pull of the platform, you almost lost your balance. You reached a hand out and held onto your brother. He looked over at you, for a split second he actually seemed like your brother. He was there for you.

That's until a muffled snort came from Nam-Gyu. Thanos pushed your hand off, laughing at you.

You sighed and thought of a smart remark, but the platform stopped spinning and a 'Ten' rang out.

Thanos laughed loudly, "We needa four!!" He screamed, shaking his face all about.

"Were four!" A man yelled back, and Thanos took off running. Your eyes widened and you ran after him. "Run, Hurry!" You yelled at Se-Mi, who had stopped to grab Min-Su.

Luckily everyone had made it to the room, just as the door shut the timer went off. The door locked shut. You peaked out of the doors small slit. You didn't see Dae-Ho. A good sign.

Multiple gunshots rang out, each making your body jolt.

"Ha Ha! My family! We did it!" Thanos bantered, clapping some of the men on their backs.

When the doors finally opened again, you looked around. You looked and looked for Dae-Ho. Finally sighing in relief when you saw him. He ran over to you.

"You're okay, thank God!" He hugged you, you held him tight.

You swallowed hard, "It's not over yet. I'll find you after the next round!" You said, quickly finding Thanos again.

"Yeahhhh! Easyyy!" Him and Nam-Gyu joked back and forth. They started dancing to the music as the platform started rotating again.

'Four'

Thanos stopped and looked at his group for a minute. "Gyeong-su, you're with me!" He grabbed his hand, pulling him.

"Damn!" Nam-Gyu said, gripping your arm and pulling you. While you were happy to be chosen, you were worried for Min-su and Se-Mi.

"Lets goooo!" Thanos yelled once we were all in the room.

"Thanos what was that! Gyeong-su over me!" You pointed your finger at him.

"I swear I thought I was pulling you! Besides, you gotta stop running your mouth. You made it, you're fine!"

You couldn't believe what he was saying. Sure, he talked a lot about leaving you. But it was always just talk? Right?

The door opened once again, you were thankful to be away from Thanos. Your new objective was to find Dae-Ho now.

This time, the second you saw him- you ran to him. You no longer cared about what Thanos thought, nor what he'd do.

"I'm so happy to see you." Dae-Ho mumbled into your hair, which his face had been shoved into right after you ran into his arms.

"I have to stay with you, Thanos tried to leave me. I can't make it with him." Dae-Ho didn't hesitate, and pulled you over to his group.

Though, Thanos didn't like that. "Yo, brotha. What're you doing with my sister!" He tried to shove Dae-Ho, but he was bigger and stronger.

The platform started to spin.

"Leave her alone, you obviously cant take care of your sister." He ushered you behind him.

"I don't know what you're talking about bro! I save her, shes only alive because of me and Nam-Gyu!" He argued, leaving out the crucial part of information where he wasn't the one who grabbed you.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I will keep her safe now, you can mind your own business and get along with Nam-Gyu."

They continued to yell and argue over the carousel's music, it was difficult to hear them. Until,

'Three'

Thanos gripped one of your arms, Dae-Ho held another.

"Thanos, let go!" You yelled, trying to pull from his grasp.

It was chaotic, screaming was heard around you. "Dae-Ho, this way!" Two men yelled out, Dae-Ho twisted his head but didn't move.

Your stomach dropped. You couldn't be the reason Dae-Ho would die. You were all running out of time.

"Dae-Ho, go. Please! I'll go with Thanos and Nam-Gyu!"

"I'm not leaving you!" He was adamant about protecting you. Damned everyone else.

"If you don't go, we will all die. Time is running out!" Dae-Ho battled internally, you let go of his hand.

"Go! It's okay, I'll see you in a minute!"

He didn't want to leave, he couldn't. But you made him. When he slowly walked backwards, you let out a relived sigh. You then turned to run with Thanos. Nam-Gyu was already in a room, his yelling ushering you two forward.

It was going to be okay, The three of you in a room. Everything was fine. There was time.

Until, Nam-Gyu moved out of the way... Gyeong-su was behind him... There was already two in the room. Thanos ran in, not thinking twice.

Your running came to a stop right outside of the door. Where Thanos himself had closed it on you.

A "NO!" Was heard from across the room. It was Dae-Ho. He tried to come to you, but he was too far.

Player 456 and player 001 were pulling him into a room. Forcing the door shut. You could see Dae-Ho looking out of the door slit, his hands peaking out as well.

You didn't turn to see what Thanos might have been doing. You didn't care. Not anymore.

You just wanted your last moment to be looking at the most handsome man you'd ever met. His soft eyes were filled with tears as he watched you.

You weren't upset, not scared, not nervous. Not anymore.

It would all be over soon.

You gave him one last salute before a loud bang rang out.

A/N- Not going to lie ya'll, I ate that up. But I still love hearing y'all's constructive criticism! Please LMK if you want to be added to my tag list, TYSM for reading!

Dae-Ho Taglist- @fuzzyscissorsmakerpie-blog @thethreeeyed-raven

[fly-torio]

Okay so I've been thinking about this post a lot during my DS9 rewatch and it just struck me how much I miss filler episodes. GOOD filler episodes. The ones that create characterisation and relief. Don't get me wrong, I love In Purgatory's Shadow, In the Pale Moonlight or Improbable Cause or even The Marquis ("It's easy to be a saint in paradise" line lives in my head rent-free) or any of the mainline story episodes, they're splendid, but they aren't what made me fall in love with DS9 on its own. The episodes I watch and rewatch and share with friends are not those. It's Only a Paper Moon, The Wire, Our Man Bashir, House of Quark, Hard Time, ... Nor the Battle to the Strong, Past Tense, Far Beyond the Stars, Doctor Bashir I presume, Bar Association, Trials and Tribble-ations, and so many others... All filler episodes I can't watch The Wire, Doctor Bashir I Presume or Hard Time without sobbing. I can't imagine a DS9 without Far Beyond the Stars. These episodes mean a lot to me for the experience it shares, the recognition I get to see. And they wouldn't be included in most new series. DS9 was so good at letting its characters be living, breathing, broken and healing individuals, and it got to do that by showing how they were also fighting their own battles or having fun. They showed us why their fight was worth it, and what I had to lose. It didn't just lower the stakes, it upped them at the same time because god, please, let my silly little goobers live, I want them to play the next chapter in their James Bond simulation, I want them to play some more sports, I want them to fall in love and utterly fuck it up. And the best part was that the filler episodes added storytelling elements, it lulled me into a sense of safety. It used its time to flesh out the world. Garak's shop blowing up? Can just as well be a filler or a main ep. Bashir getting stuck on a planet with a medical issue to solve? Time to worldbuild something about the Dominion! Quark getting into a scheme that completely spirals? Either it'll give you a laugh or it is the first time the Big Bad get named. I don't want big action sets every episode, I want to feel connected. I want these characters to be people, to live lives, to feel as real in the heartwrenching and hilarious extremes. Life is absurd, bigger than I can ever hold in my hands. Give me back the moments where I remember it is also small and meaningful, and worth going through.

I don't know what those '90s sci Fi TV writers were putting in their shows but I wish they'd start doing it again

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Lucanis (and also Spite and the Crows) gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: the list isn't 100% exhaustive. I may have missed something or didn't write something down because I had heard about it before or considered it common knowledge. If you think there's something that can be added to the post, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from)

Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Harding, the rest to be added later this week

About Lucanis: 

Family and the past:

Lucanis learnt to cook while helping the kitchen staff at the villa when he was a little boy. One of his motivations was learning how to make churros

Side note: Lucanis mentions that cioccolata calda was his favourite drink when he was a baby, and he serves churros to a romanced Rook who picks cioccolata calda as their favourite drink. It’s all coming together! 

Lucanis wanted to be a Crow when he was a child (at least most of the time)  

All of Lucanis's relatives were Crows as well, and all of them were killed by a rival Crow house

Lucanis says Caterina would be proud of Illario hiding his plans well, as well as killing her 

Lucanis says that the hard part about setting Illario free would be convincing Caterina 

Lucanis says that nightlife was more of Illario's thing, and he never got out as much

On Crows and Antiva:

Viago still stares daggers at Lucanis for throwing his (Viago's) pet snake out of the window in a dream

Lucanis doesn't like it when people confuse murder and assassination ("Murderers are hobbyists, we are professionals")

Lucanis has taken contracts in Orlais

Lucanis doesn’t know Treviso as well as he once used to 

Heir didn’t train Lucanis

Lucanis says he has never killed an innocent “by his count” (other people may disagree) 

Lucanis doesn’t think of the Crows as a “big organisation” (unlike the Inquisition) because they stab each other too much

Lucanis became a mage-killer at Caterina’s behest (she wanted to tap into new markets)

The nickname “The Demon of Vyrantium” came from Tevinter news-sheets, though Lucanis thinks Viago started it

Lucanis says that there aren't any special tricks to killing mages. Though, if nothing else works, you can try pissing them off, as that could attract a demon that would eat the mage

Lucanis once killed half a dozen venatori while stuck inside an elevator 

Lucanis doesn’t consider himself a gentleman assassin, manners are less important than getting the job done

Lucanis sometimes spares his targets. He mentioned letting go of a servant who killed her master, as well as a 14-year-old boy. He thinks it’s wrong to kill people so young because they still have time to change

Lucanis doesn’t accept contracts without merit, and the merit is decided by the talon of the house

General:

Lucanis can make bread

Lucanis has never been to Ferelden

Lucanis isn’t interested in killing wyverns, just looking at them :)  

Lucanis has a pet snake 

Lucanis stays awake at night by cleaning his gear, exercising, studying Orlesian and knitting ("it’s just another kind of blade work") 

Lucanis doesn’t understand a lot of things people find attractive

(In a conversation with Harding) Thinking about cooking was one of the things that helped Lucanis stay sane in the Ossuary (the other was thinking about killing his enemies) 

(In a conversation with Davrin) Lucanis survived the Ossuary by shutting down and not thinking about anything except escaping

These two points sort of contradict each other. Either an inconsistency or Lucanis describing his experience differently to different people. 

The Wetlands ruined at least one pair of Lucanis’s boots

(If Rook chooses to save Treviso) Lucanis offers to pay for any supplies the Shadow Dragons may need 

Lucanis doesn't get a better bed because he's afraid of accidentally falling asleep 

Lucanis can identify the killer’s weapon and the height difference between them and the target just through the blood splatter left at the scene

Lucanis considers Grey Wardens dangerous 

Lucanis doesn’t like necromancy, because bringing people back to life is a waste of hard work

Lucanis finds the ice coffee from Minrathous offensive (Harding describes it as “snow, but made of coffee, sweet, and with cream and toffee sauce on top”)

Lucanis had never been in a romantic relationship before Rook/Neve

Relationships with other companions: 

Lucanis gets into reading Bellara’s serials (very passionately - they chat about it a bunch)

Lucanis is outraged that the Veil Jumpers don’t get paid for their work and offers Bellara his contract negotiator

Lucanis made biscuits for Assan

Lucanis is sceptical that the griffons will be safe with the Wardens

Lucanis think that Assan shouldn’t go soft (referring to the time he took care of a halla) because he is a predator at heart

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Lucanis offers to hold a funeral for Manfred

Lucanis and Harding talk a lot about dreams (mostly silly things like showing up naked for the job, getting chased by someone/something etc.)

Lucanis thinks Harding is deadly with her bow

Lucanis offers to pay Harding for being his lookout/aide at the rate of 6000 gold per contract

Lucanis offers the help of his contract negotiator to Neve after he finds out she doesn't have one

Lucanis made deep-fried peppers for Taash

About Spite: 

Emmrich can hear Spite even when he doesn’t take over Lucanis’s body (at least from a close distance)

Spite is impartial to Emmrich, believing him more than Lucanis

Emmrich says it’s impossible to separate Spite and Lucanis without killing them

Emmrich encourages Lucanis to read to Spite to bring them closer. Lucanis agrees to let Spite pick a book

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Spite asks if he and Lucanis can get rid of their skin too 

(If Manfred is revived at the Necropolis) Spite asks Emmrich to teach him how to use fire magic. Lucanis isn’t thrilled by the idea

Emmrich sets up wards to prevent Spite from leaving the room when Lucanis is asleep

Spite no longer sleepwalks after “Inner Demons” because he apparently understood the concept of space

By the end of the game, Spite has agreed to stop sleepwalking completely

Spite controls the wings (confirmed in banter with Harding) 

Spite wants to try swinging off the astrolabe at the Lighthouse

Spite is very excited about Manfred having hands and feet (Curiosity. Has. Feet!)

Spite finds the wisps in Neve’s room unnerving (as do Lucanis and Neve)

Spite likes to play with whetstones Bellara got for Lucanis (Bellara got them from the Irelin who supposedly got them from somewhere in Arlathan) 

Spite wants to try eating self-lightning candles at Blackthorne Manor

About the Crows: 

Crows frequently visit Nevarra and have received 20 contacts to assassinate the king. The King has been poisoned 7 times

Crows get a lot of contracts for Divine Victoria

Some seers in Rivain are powerful enough that there are contracts on them as well

Caterina once killed a man with a thimble

When Crows kill someone, most of the time they want others to know it was them (rather than presenting the death as an accident) 

The crows buried six different Eight Talons and rarely take contracts in Ferelden after the Zevran fiasco

[therealmylesmorales]

Lover Girl(not really)Sevika Headcannons

Warnings: modern!au, Sevika smokes (obviously) maybe hints at R being masc (you should be used to this by now), she’s a lover girl in her own way

WC: 500

I never needed a butch more until I watch Arcane. This is a little shorter than usual, just testing her character out.

It’s very easy to tell when Sevika’s high. Other people might not notice but you do. Her usual tough face is more relaxed and you always see her actual smile rather than that cocky smirk she gives people. And her constant need to touch you goes up.

Unless you smoke/a stoner as well, she wouldn’t smoke around you especially if you don’t like the smell.

Now I don’t see her using any specific type of nicknames for you other than the classic babe/baby. For herself, you are the only person that can call her “Sev” or “mama”

She will actually get irritated if you offer to pay for things, especially if you are out on a date. She makes the big bucks, and wants to be able to take care of you. If you have a job, cool, but she will make sure you spend her money before you even touch your own.

Sevika’s a natural protector when it comes to you. You would never have to worry about your safety as long as she’s around, because she would fuck a person for you if you asked. You really wouldn’t even need to ask half the time.

Whenever she gets off work (firefighter Sevika? Am I alone in this?) she will always manage to bring you some sort of gift, no matter how long her shift is. Half of the time, it’s usually flowers, or your usual take out.

When you first started dating, you never knew how bad Sevika’s resting bitch face was. Her brows are always furrowed not to mention her semi-permanent frown, you were fighting for your life during the first few months.

”Hey, Sev…are you okay?”

”Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”

”You tell me. Did I do something wrong?”

She immediately became suspicious. “Did you?”

”I sure hope not.”

Or alternatively, if you also had an RBF, others would constantly question if you both got into a fight. Obviously they wouldn't voice it…to your faces at least.

Sevika is unreasonably petty. Not in a toxic way (most times) but it can be irritating. She is full of eye rolls and her huffs and grunts but 7/10 she’s just messing around. She’ll also use her height and build to advantage; putting things on high shelves so you wouldn’t be able to reach them or even going dead weight so you couldn’t move her to find out if she’s sitting on the remote. She is.

You love to kiss her cheeks. Why, it’s one of the easiest ways to fluster her. This big strong woman getting shy over a kiss on the cheek? More likely than you think.

”Your cheek feels kind of warm, are you okay?”

”Yes,” she said immediately, turning away from you.

She could tell you were smiling when you kissed her again.

Speaking of kissing; Sevika will always kiss your forehead or the bridge of your nose before going for your lips. You don’t know why but as long as she keeps going, you’d have no complaints.

[inkzectz]

in your Bigger than the sky animation benrey starts out as barney? that seems so interesting lore wise? i would love to hear about what you were thinking when you animated that askdhfjlagh and the sweet voice and dreading stare? no clue what it means but curious as hell

ok im gonna go a little crazy on this because this is my biggest/favorite bc ever.

In the full vods they refer to benrey as “Barney” for the first while, it’s kind of unclear why, from Wayne’s perspective it seems he just didn’t know his name and defaulted to the character models name, and gir and Holly said they thought the joke with benrey was he was Barney but wrong, and they kept calling him the wrong name, so bipple, booper, Bentley, but eventually benrey, the name said by scorpy, stuck.

All this to say, it’s a BIG hc of mine that he was intended to be Barney (in universe) but due to being self aware was able to break off from this character he was meant to be. it’s kind of implied within the series they all have fake memories of who they are, being AI they are supposed to sort of act a certain way to maintain the immersion but at the end of the day, nothing before the game booted up really happened.

And benrey knows this, benrey knew from the beginning nothing was real, that he wasn’t human, how it ends, that no one actually dies, the works. I also headcanon that he became self aware during the AI model training stages, that the guy in charge of training his AI as Barney, broke him causing his self awareness and he was just launched into the beta game fully aware of the circumstances of his existence. I don’t think he was fully aware of how everything in game worked though.

but this to me is why he seems to constantly be changing his view of Gordon, antagonizing him one moment and then being friendly the next, his feelings about him are complex, he knows from the beginning he isn’t actually Gordon Freeman, but a guy just playing half life. Being a security guard, he’s programmed to protect Gordon with his life, but he knows this. He knows what’s compelling him to care for Gordon isn’t himself but lines of code he’s bound to, and this is why he antagonizes him. But that’s a whole different rant on its own lol

That sequence at the beginning of the bigger than the sky animatic was supposed to be a false memory, something he was supposed to think happened, but the version of Gordon he remembers isn’t real. This idea of ‘Gordon’ is a concept that only exists in these fake memories. (This is also why I think he never calls Gordon by name throughout the series, because he knows it’s not actually him (besides that one time but it doesn’t count bc it was for a bit lalala I can’t hear you))

there wasn’t much thought into the details of that part, like the coughing into the hand with the sweet voice, I really just put that bc I thought it looked dramatic and cool 😓

BUT on the topic of this big ass hc of mine, it actually is super important to a upcoming project im working on, and I realized throughout the story boarding it might need some explanation because it also has a lot of flash backs to some fake memories.

Sorry this got super rant-y I tried to keep it as short and simple as I could, I love hlvrai, I think about it literally every moment of my life and have so many hcs

[aro-kai]

Tags from @tadpal bc they were just too on point:

The show was so incredibly biased towards Rohan. Objectively, they fucked over the Dunlendings. Even the book seems to imply it??? But the show was so--even the differing visual portrayals were awful. And the super European take on the cultures shown was also.....Ugh

(it's a world where the author has openly admitted in the appendices that the cultural aspects he's chosen are largely "translated" for the worldview of a modern English audience from an unknown original text) (there are so so so so so many ways you can take this) (and this was one of the worst ones tbh)

Alright, I was holding off for journalistic integrity but now that I've seen the WotR film I can make posts about it without restraint.

Jesus christ the racial politics of this film are atrocious. Some character might as well just tell Wulf 'not to play the race card'. Wulf is a liberal snowflake who blames racism for all his troubles and can't pull himself up by his bootstraps and he is also brown-skinned and obsessively pursues our PORCLAIN white dainty-drawn female protagonist with both romantic and murderous intent. Oppression of dunlendings by the Rohirrim exists only in Wulf's head apparently, though it can be tasted in every spat 'dunlending' perjorative that comes from Helm or Haleth's mouth. But Hera has absolutely no racism within her of course! She refuses Wulf because she doesnt want to marry anyone and Wulf just assumes it's because his dunlending blood disgusts her, so entitled of him!

But also maybe the racism is '''justified'''? If it exists? Which it doesn't! But IF it did, don't worry because ONCE AGAIN all the dunlendings are just greedy, clutching, unwashed, skull wearing, violent barbarians with no unique culture to speak of and no reasons to be making war on Rohan except to sieze what isn't theirs (ignoring the fact that it totally was theirs until Rohan seized it from them and OH BOY are we ignorin' that) And the only dunlending we see not frothing at the mouth for violence or showing any introspective depth at all is General Targg who is the mouthpiece with which we get to hear 'the girl (Hera) is right' whereupon he is promptly killed by Wulf.

Oh but of course, what else could Helm have done? Freca was some greedy FAT man (boy does everyone love calling him fat, happy to lean into THAT aspect of canon) whose lands were too prosperous for his own good (hang on isn't keeping your lands prosperous the platonic ideal of lordship?) And he called a 'Witan' (no he didn't, he came to one of the regular councils of lords that Helm called himself) just to make a scene about how Helm was going to marry Hera to a lord of gondor which is bad because Gondor has some nebulous hold over Rohan so Hera should marry Wulf instead (literally none of that, Freca simply asked Helm to wed his daughter to Wulf, his son, a completely normal and legitimate political strategy to secure a better relationship with the King's family since Helm already mistrusted him for having dunlending blood. Freca is a lord of Rohan, he is rich, he traces his ancestry back to King Freawine, this could not be a more reasonable suggestion in canon.)

SO OBVIOUSLY Helm had to get angry and call Freca fat again (true he did do that) and THEN claim that Freca only wanted his throne (there was never any suggestion of this in the books, it was just the offer of marriage which insulted Helm) to which Freca answered "Old kings that refuse a proffered staff may fall on their knees," and Helm is like okay lets take this outside.

And now THIS change is actually so important in understanding the extreme nature of the Rohir/Helm favouritism that is the main focus of this film. In the film Helm pretty much immediately takes Freca outside, he reassures Frealaf that Freca just needs to be shown his place, this is the only way to settle the matter, if he doesn't embarass him here then Freca will try to take his crown and slay his family apparently, his hunch ig etc etc. Freca punches Helm three times in full view of the whole of Edoras including Freca's two men who came with him, then Helm punches him back and he is knocked out cold and dead by the time he hits the ground. Film!Helm does not realise he has done this and tells Freca to get up, Wulf realises his father is dead and threatens Helm with revenge, swords are draw against him which he tries to calm before Wulf attacks him. Helm incapacitates Wulf, his sons draw THEIR swords and Helm exiles Wulf for drawing his sword on his king. Messy right? Like not a good thing to do, generally brawling with your lords is a bad idea full stop, but if you fear for the lives of your children then idk maybe it's excusable? And then it's just an unfortunate series of events right? And Freca was rude and insulting to a king in his own halls, heat of the moment etc etc

I feel so comfortable in telling you that Helm murders Freca in cold blood in the books, fully intending that to be the outcome.

He does not take him outside initially, Book!Helm tells Freca that this marriage dispute isn't important and they will deal with it later. And then;

When the council was over, Helm stood up and laid his great hand on Freca’s shoulder, saying: "The king does not permit brawls in his house, but men are freer outside"; and he forced Freca to walk before him out from Edoras into the field. To Freca’s men that came up he said: "Be off ! We need no hearers. We are going to speak of a private matter alone. Go and talk to my men!" And they looked and saw that the king’s men and his friends far outnumbered them, and they drew back. "Now, Dunlending," said the king, "you have only Helm to deal with, alone and unarmed. But you have said much already, and it is my turn to speak. Freca, your folly has grown with your belly. You talk of a staff! If Helm dislikes a crooked staff that is thrust on him, he breaks it. So!" With that he smote Freca such a blow with his fist that he fell back stunned, and died soon after. Helm then proclaimed Freca’s son and near kin the king’s enemies; and they fled, for at once Helm sent many men riding to the west marches.

(Appendices, 'The House of Eorl', emphasis mine)

I think we can all agree that forcing someone out of your city, isolating them away from their fellows with threats of violence, telling them you will break them, killing them in one blow and then proclaiming their kin your enemies and forcing them to flee to escape a murderous pursuit, is pretty clearly premeditated murder. There is not much nuance here, Freca tresspassed over a line with Helm that Dunlendings are not allowed to cross and Helm killed him for it.

And listen like, the description of this whole story within the appendices is barely more than three pages. This is not an obscure missable aspect of the tale, nor is it outside of what rights they had to adapt. The choice was made, actively, ONCE AGAIN by the Warner Bros cinematic universe makers, to drastically alter book events in order to sand down any immorality within Rohan's narrative, especially where the Dunlendings are concerned. And in the end the only 'mistake' Helm is allowed to learn and grow from is some nebulous and trite 'not believing enough in his daughter' schpiel, which needs to be the subject of a whole 'nother post actually.

And what's agonising is they COULD have done it like they were so close, there are multiple moments where me and my friend watching were like struck!! With grief! Over how impactful this moment could have been if only the racism actually existed as an acknowledged theme in the story. If only it was something Hera had to come to terms with, if only IT was the true driver of these horrors to the point where it's Avatar, Hera's father, a man who loves her and whom she has loved all her life, turns into a cold icey ghost of brutality, far more vicious and barbaric than the people he so reviles, and reveals to her the terrible truth of his actions and motivations. It's agony I tell you.

Anyway I did not like the film.

[driftawayomnichord]

Genshin characters react to you sleeping on the floor - Part 2

Warning: not proof read; this is pure fluff and crack; (featuring Pantalone; Alhaitham; +Bonus: Jing Yuan)

*THUD*

Pantalone

Dealing with idiotic aristocracy is incredibly exhausting, sadly for Pantalone, that is a part of his everyday routine. Every day he goes into his office and has to stand their behaviour. So his favourite thing do to after a long day of work is to go back home and complain and gossip about said aristocrats. Usually be prefers to do that in bed, in your dark cozy room.

Today was no different, the moment he got home he rushed to find you and let all the built up frustration go. And so he did, at dinner, while getting ready for bed, in bed…he was particularly annoyed today it seems.

And after some time the pair naturally drifted off to sleep. That was until two hours later Pantalone woke up to get some water and after he had his drink he turned around with the intention to hug you.

Where are you.

He stood up and called for you - nothing. Went to check the bathroom - nothing. Living room - nothing. Dining room - nothing. The study - nothing. He went through every single room in that house to find absolutely nothing. Asked every servant if they have seen you - nothing.

He was left standing there, just completely puzzled as to what happened to you. And the first idea that came to his mind is one of his biggest fears. Maybe you never really loved him, were only using him for money and you were cheating on him.

While he wanted to avoid thinking about that possibility it just couldn’t escape his mind. He ordered some of the guards to go look for you around the city and decided to head to his bedroom.

Walking in he went towards the window, closer to your side of the bed when he suddenly hit his foot on-…something.

“Ouch- damn it.” Your voice rang.

He looked down and saw you…on the floor…glaring at him.

“Why did you hit me? What’s wrong with you?” You asked him annoyed. “I was sleeping.”

“You were…here.”

“It’s the middle of the night, of course I’m here, sleeping. Or at least was…”

“Why are you on the floor…” he questioned.

“I’m what-…why am I on the floor?”

He simply chuckled, picked you up, plopping you on your bed and laying down next to you. He shouldn’t have worried.

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Alhaitham

Both of you were preparing to go to bed, brushing your teeth, hair, putting on some moisturiser (that you definitely don’t force Alhaitham to do). You were talking about your plans for tomorrow, or more like you complaining that you don’t want to bother tomorrow.

“After you are done with your presentation we will head out on a walk.” He suggested and headed out of the bathroom into the bedroom to finally relax his body, expecting you to follow him. But you didn’t?

“Are you coming?” He shouted.

You poked your head from the hallway into the bedroom and looked at him nervously. “I forgot about the presentation, you go ahead and sleep and I will join you later.” You told him and ran to the living room to prepare your presentation.

The next morning Alhaitham woke up and noticed that you never really went to bed. So he headed out into the living room to see if you fell asleep there but you weren’t on the couch. He could see documents and papers stacked on the table and the couch but you weren’t there.

He looked for you in the rest of the rooms and still nothing. So he had no other choice but to ask his roommate if h e had seen you.

“Kaveh, have you seen [Name] today or last night?” Alhaitham shouted through the door.

Kaveh opened it and looked at the scribe a little confused.

“Yeah, last night around 4 in the morning. They were in the living room writing something. Why?”

“Well, they are nowhere to be seen.”

“What- let me check.” Said Kaveh, not believing that you would just disappear.

He walked into the living room scanning it when he heard Alhaitham speak up from behind him.

“Do you really believe that I would just miss them?”

That’s when Kaveh’s eyes focused on something - you…on the floor under the table.

“Yes, I believe.” Kaveh replied, pointing at your direction.

Alhaitham walked up to you and called out for you, but you didn’t bulge. So he sighted and picked you up, carrying you into your shared room and plopping you in bed.

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Bonus: Jing Yuan

After working the whole day, not having time to even lift his head up, Jing Yuan loves to just lay in bed under the warm covers with pillows all over the place, hugging his lover.

While there is nothing in the universe that can make him even consider skipping cuddle times, there is one thing that can make you. The scorching heat. It’s warm, and you can’t stand it.

So when you go into bed that night you know that you will have to fight your way into freedom. But he just kept dragging you over to him again and again.

“It’s hot as hell in here I cannot handle the heat, just let me gooo…” you keep on trying to fight him off of you.

“Relax a little and you will cool down.” He whined, just wanting to sleep already.

“Let me go! You are like a heater!” You complain as you try to crawl out of his grasp, but to no avail.

He just grumbled and buried his face into your hair. You stopped moving for a moment and sighed. That’s when you pulled the ultimate move - the tornado. You started spinning in the direction opposite of him and in the process pulling a bit of his hair causing him to let go.

Which wasn’t exactly calculated in your plan…you straight up rolled off the bed and onto poor mimi who was sleeping on the floor right next to the bed.

She jumped and looked at you as if prepared to attack until she recognised your face in the dark and calmed down.

Meanwhile Jing Yuan crawled over and peeked his head to see what happened and started laughing at you.

“Very funny, yes, ha ha. Mimi almost bit my head off.” You said sarcastically.

“Are you really going to blame me for this?”

I felt like another part was needed, but idk if I should continue with this series or start another one. I do know that us fatui fans have been starved of fanfics so maybe I should add even more of them?

And yes we did have a special guest in this one ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

okay so full transparency: i've never really read much fic. i don't have a ton of free time set aside for creative/recreational purposes and the time i do have, i use to write because that just fills me up a lot more. however, i made a commitment to consume more fan-created work in 2024 and i succeeded in that!!! there were still periods where i wasn't able to read much, which has lead to an ever-growing tbr, but i wanted to take a moment at the beginning of this new year to share a hodge-podge of some (completed) fics that wow'ed me this year. a great deal of these are several years old and likely 'old news,' but i got to experience their magic for the first time in 2024 and want to spend some time showing them some love!!! in no particular order:

in losing grip by @keep--driving - 2024 was the year of me learning to love a good second chances au. this fic has all the trope-y goodness you could ever want, along with toe-curling kiss scenes, the perfect kind of humour that makes you squeal into your pillow or porridge or wherever you find yourself, and characters that you just love and root for so easily. i especially loved her take on james and lily's mums and the ways they navigate the world with and beside their children. i read a large chunk of this fic on my kindle as i pushed a stroller this autumn and i will forever associate it with peace and calmness. i'll be re-reading it soon!!!

i love you (ain't that the worst thing you ever heard) by lizardcookie - enter: the other trope i fell in love with in 2024—failed friends with benefits. the way this fic deals with grief in such a poignant, devastating, incredible way had my jaw on the floor. yes there is sexy jily, but there is also giggly jily and insecure jily and scared jily and earnest jily and oh mannnn this is the good ish. the small detail of lily coming around to sirius and james both through her help with the flying motorbike. i love the minute breakdown of lily's thick walls until they come tumbling down and james is right there, waiting, as he always is, patient and Good.

i would drink a case of you, darling by treacherous_talks - one of the tags on this fic is "a good old fashioned 'lily and james get together fic' because there aren't enough of them" so obviously i was in from the jump. this magical fic does such an excellent job at highlighting exactly what it means to be a teenager with a crush on another teenager who you think has a crush on you but you're not completely sure and so you can't ruin it because what if you're wrong. that is such a jily sweet spot i don't often see done as well as it is in this fic!!!

poison of trust by soopsiedaisies - not a jily fic! gasp! in fact, it's remus and sirius (not wolfstar) who are actually not usually as compelling a relationship as some of the other marauder era possibilities. but this fic made me eat my words because it is delicious. the part that i literally included in my ao3 bookmark and that i think about all the time is when remus tries to accuse sirius of equating harry and james and sirius says, oooooh i have chills thinking about it, "i dare you to finish that sentence." YES guarddog sirius black! his position as sole protector of the potter family will never not be important to me and this fic highlights that in such a unique and compelling way.

bad day wall by @apalapucian - there's nothing i could say about this incredible fic that hasn't been said, and recently, but truly—jayne is such a phenomenal wordsmith. this has a dash of 'texting fic,' but make it canon compliant and so beautiful it makes you wanna diiiiiie. the blackevans is unmatched, of course. but james's head-over-heels-ness for lily also has to be mentioned. i love every single one of his batty contributions to the bad day wall as he mopes and wades through all the chaos of trying (and failing) to get over lily evans.

The Guide to Becoming a Better Man for Lily Evans by bronzeagepizzeria - the shirtless james potter agenda is quite special to me, which needs to be stated right out the gate, really. the shirtless james potter who is shirtless on purpose just to get under his dream girl's skin agenda is an ascension i have yet to come back down from.

Of Chrysalism by @maraudersftw - i shall give you this, line, dangling on a stick as a perfectly buttered and garlic'ed (??) carrot, enticing you to cast your cares aside and come read this fic: "He’s spoilt, and persistent, and endearing, and she’s hopeless." like??????? yeah. okay. sure. i'll pretend that i'm capable of returning from that in this lifetime. but actually: james "my feelings matter, too" potter is so important and i love the agency this fic gives him!!!

Scenes from a Hogsmeade Pub by @bcdaily - i think i read this years ago. perhaps. idk i was basically a baby when it was published in 2012. but i recently stumbled upon it (again? maybe?) and just absolutely devoured it. this is quintessential jily to me, in each iteration, as they grow and learn each other and finally, finally, finally choose each other. each of these scenes is so carefully crafted to showcase really important moments in their relationship, but does it using really unimportant moments, which is genius. it's the grand fromage of showing, not telling, and this would absolutely be the first week assigned reading on my syllabus if i got to live out my dream as a professor on jily.

say goodbye to my heart tonight by spinawren - my bookmark for this was literally just "SQUEEEEEEE" and i don't exactly know what i meant by that, but i think it's more eloquent than anything i could come up with here. the premise of this fic is genius: james and lily repeatedly having 'one-night stands' with each other until they realise they've accidentally started dating. but james potter's devotion to being in lily evans' presence is what makes this fic belong on the top shelf!

Bluebird by ocean_away - whewwww, this fic knocked me back in a way i didn't expect. it's a second chances fic of a different calibre all around, but what stands out to me the most in this particular fic is the way james and lily are both shown to so seamlessly grow. they begin as two broken, purposefully hurtful individuals (read: teenagers) and become young adults who choose goodness and each other over and over, even though it's not easy. i feel proud of them, when i read this fic. what a labour of love for our favourite couple.

The Way the Light Looks by @stonecoldhedwig - i have nothing more to say about this fic than this: BEST KISS SCENE I HAVE EVER AND WILL EVER READ!!!!!!!!!!!

Whispers in the Dark by @yallthemwitches - okayyyy so it's difficult to choose just one of tay's fics, but this is such a stand-out to me. friends to lovers!!!! james "but i've never lied to you" potter, i want to kiss you on the MOUTH! he's so earnest, so pure, so "no actually i just wanted to see you" when he has no business being such a sweetheart. honourable mention: the beyond-precious proposal scene at the end.

Love is Complicated by @theesteemedladydebourgh - this fic feels like sitting in the most beautiful library in the world watching rain trail down the ornate, darkened windows—and then the hottest professor on earth walks up to you and snogs you without preamble. except it's made better by the fact that he is somehow both james potter and an indiana jones variant? listen. just read it. then squeal and kick your feet with me, okay?

Sunshine in my Eyes by monroeslittle - another fic i devoured on my kindle this year (but definitely not during standardised testing at school when i was supposed to be actively monitoring teenagers for academic integrity and technically signed an oath that i locked all my electronics in the closet). ahem. this is some of the most rewarding angst i have ever read, which is genuinely some of the highest praise i could ever bestow on someone. lily going to james for lessons on how to kiss and the entire scene that follows will follow me forever. they're so endearing and sweet and did not deserve all they went through. but. angst with a happy ending xx

[reignpage]

hiiii i hope this doesnt add to the super specific ask about the eden characters and doesnt seem weird but im kinda curious of what the eden couples argue about, like what causes them to argue and how long does it take for them to resolve their issues? (maybe also what they do for forgiveness? like im thinking someone would cut up fruits for their lover as an apology 💀)

Two questions in one ask HOW GREEDDDY😡

Gojo and reader

In college:

They argue about Gojo’s friends. The frat guys who are rowdy and boisterous. Most of them are nice enough but frat guys get drunk and they become people reader can’t stand to be around. But they’re Gojo’s boys so he gets defensive. This is a recurring issue so it doesn’t really get resolved, it just dies down until it gets brought up again

In life:

They argue over Gojo’s immaturity. He’s too go with the flow sometimes and it leaves reader to deal with things, like he’s always lived in a position of privilege so there are some things he misses or he just doesn’t know, like how to lead a business or be a good role model.

It doesn’t take very long for Gojo to realise because he can see her getting visibly panicked.

Gojo apologises for leaving the responsibility to her by stepping up and getting serious. And then he’s pampering her with a spa day and shopping

Geto and reader

Generally:

Geto has a tendency to become withdrawn, to start smoking more often and to lose sleep, not telling her what’s on his mind. It’s hard for reader because she’s never been in his position so she doesn’t know what to do, she wants to give him his space but she’s worried giving him too much would just allow him to spiral more, but then pushing her way in might just push him away altogether

It varies every time. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes a month etc

Geto can only apologise and try to do better, making up for lost time and attending all the therapy. But none of it ever seems to do the trick

Choso and reader

They don’t have deep issues to resolve lol, these two are like hippies, it’s all just weed and art for them

But reader does get annoyed when Choso leaves his supplies around. She trips on paint cans or stubs her toes on canvas lying on the floor. She gives him the silent treatment.

It never lasts long, choso’s got a sixth sense when it comes to his muse. And he hates making her upset, so he’ll clean everything in the house just to cover all bases. And then he gets on his knees and literally begs her to forgive him.

Reader always has a devious idea for a punishment (not always sexual but tends to be) it could be something like being her nude model for hours. Choso will do whatever, he has little pride lol

Toji and reader

Oh god, these two argue all the damn time. It’s mostly reader telling Toji off. Something like leaving his basketball everywhere or staying out too late or not throwing beer bottles away or getting into a fight with another player or a coach etc etc

It can last a while since they’re both stubborn. Longest was when he quit his job as a physical trainer without consulting her and that fight lasted three weeks. But generally it’s days.

Toji knows he’s usually in the wrong and he cozies up to her, rubbing her shoulders, hugging her from the back, kissing her until she breaks.

They fuck it out.

Lots of angry sex. Sometimes they fight just to have angry sex.

Nanami and reader:

They don’t have little fights. Nanami’s literally perfect, he has no flaws no I am not biased. Reader on the other hand is full of flaws and bad habits lol. But he’s forgiving and oh so patient, so there’s rarely ever any issue.

They do have big fights though, mostly around reader’s insecurities. Like the research partner. There’s no shouting, just tears, a lot of tears and lot of sobbing and begging.

When he sees her like that, Nanami’s heart breaks. Like literally. He falls to his knees and begs her to let him in, to not push him away, to trust him and believe him when he says there’s no one else, there’s never been anyone else.

He holds her in his arms until she calms down, takes her to the bath, and does her whole routine for her. Then he takes her to bed where he tries to soothe her and lets her fall asleep crying. When they wake up, reader is ashamed.

He doesn’t let her apologise.

Sukuna and reader:

Boy oh boy where do I begin with these two?

They argue over a lot of things. Sukuna hates when she’s nice to stupid, rich men, especially if they’re handsome. Reader hates when he’s nice to stupid rich, women, especially if they’re beautiful, and oh my god if they’re beautiful AND younger. Sukuna gets upset because she never butters him up like that. Reader is upset because he’s never nice.

They fuck it out.

Lots of angry sex that are more like hate sex? It’s just the forest over and over again, in every surface in every room in every conceivable position.

Then they’re good again.

Sometimes reader remembers what happened in first year and just gives him the silent treatment. Oh god sukuna hates the silent treatment, it’s worse than when she screams at him and attacks him, or even when she snubs him in public. He tries to do it back to her and these ice cold moments in the estate where they pretend the other doesn’t exist can last weeks, months. One time lasted 5 months.

Sukuna always caves first. He cuffs her to him when she’s sleeping so she’s forced to acknowledge his presence and even though she breaks the silence first, they both know he lost

He doesn’t mind losing when it feels like winning

[thedissonantverses]

Your suspicion is correct and I know why and it’s stupid. Because it boils down to all they actually care about is the romance but they’ll say anything but.

They claim they want moral ambiguity then get mad the morally ambiguous choices in the game don’t have clear right or wrong answers. They say they don’t want Solas to be villainized and his writing to be good and when we got that they got mad when they figured out that a compelling antagonist is still an antagonist. (Okay some of them still haven’t figured out he was the antagonist the whole time)

They claim they want conflict then get mad when Neve or Lucanis are cold after their city gets destroyed. They claim they want slavery in the game then kill all the abolitionists gleefully to romance Lucanis again and downplay the literal piles of bodies leftover when this happens. They will happily run Neve’s name through the mud and claim they love the representation. They’ll erase Lucanis’ queer identity on every level and downplay his trauma to make him their sexy Spanish daddy dom but claim they love his character.

Like it’s painfully obvious when people are viewing Dragon Age only through whatever character they’re romancing. And it’s even more painful watching people just be racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist, and just plain hateful towards the writers and other fans because they didn’t get their romantasy tropes or their elf supremacy bullshit. (I’m not saying if you ship the characters listed you’re bigoted I’m saying a lot of you sound like Reddit bros without thinking so you can shit on Neve, Bellara, Taash, or Davrin again.). So many of my mutuals are directly affected by these issues and I can’t shut the fuck up about it to be honest haha.

Anyways if you’re still crying over Veilguard go play a different game for fuck’s sake. There’s that one with the sad vampire or whatever probably more your speed.

I mean the same people that will complain about Lucanis’ “cut” content (something something crying about the art book again) will also say that they “can’t”romance Davrin because he’s the archetypal jock character and if that doesn’t make anyone who actually paid attention to his character arc fucking livid I don’t know what will.

People are mischaracterizing Neve as an “indulgence” for Lucanis who wouldn’t be able to help him like Rook because apparently Rook is so special they have magical genitalia and that’s what fixes Lucanis not…Lucanis. This such a fucking awful read of every character involved and how PTSD works it’s impressive.

We all know why. We know why Neve and Davrin are being mischaracterized and sidelined like this for a lighter skinned character. Disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves. The misogyny involved with Neve combined with the racism running rampant through this fandom lately should be making everyone think fucking twice.

[bitebitekxll]

Physical Catalyst

Notes: Years ago I read an isekai fic that referred to guns as ‘physical catalysts’ which is where I got the name from (haven’t been able to find it but I’ll link it if I do) but the rest are just my own musings about a reader with a gun in Teyvat. Also first attempt at making a divider, but I think it’s kinda cool

So whether it’s SAGAU or regular isekai, imagine reader is in Teyvat, no one knows they’re not from Teyvat, and they have a gun.

This in and of itself isn’t a big deal, most people carry weapons in this world and tons of them have guns. But the thing is, they’re not the same as real world guns, are they?

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but every case of guns we’ve seen in genshin (pyro fatui skirmishers, Chevreuse) shoot out what looks like elemental energy. Maybe they’re bullets infused with elemental energy, like what we see with the arrows for the bow users, except the bow users can still shoot regular arrows. We never see the guns shoot regular/non elemental bullets.

Which is why my theory (that might be pulled apart in a future update but for now…) is that they don’t exist. Teyvat guns are capable of shooting elemental energy, maybe fuelled by the wielder’s vision/delusion or maybe using some kind of pellets, but they are not equipped to shoot with the force needed to make a regular bullet be of any use.

So when reader shows up and has a gun from their world? Oh boy. A handgun is no weapon of mass destruction, but anything that can take down a lawachurl in one well-aimed headshot will terrify Teyvat’s inhabitants. I mean, their guns do damage too, sure, but it’s a relative amount. A burn from a shot of pyro, a shock from a shot of electro. The concept of a gun that can instantly kill someone, quicker and easier than an arrow? Using a tiny piece of metal that isn’t even sharp and doesn’t explode? You are going to throw entire nations into chaos.

If word gets out about it, you’re gonna have law enforcement from across all the continent investigating you, not to mention the fatui— be prepared for the harbingers to be hunting down your ass trying to get their hands on such a powerful weapon

Of course that’s only if you let the cat out of the bag. Use your weapon away from prying eyes, and you’ll probably be fine. Dead hiluchurls tell no tales, after all. Or men, if you’re more chill with murder.

It probably wouldn’t be too hard to find a metalsmith who could take one of your bullets and make more. Though I wonder what explanation you’d give as to what it is, without giving away the ‘deadliest handheld weapon in history’ thing.

Idk I just think the introduction of bullet-operated guns in Teyvat is interesting, might write some stuff for the different characters reactions to it at some point

[toxycodone]

cw. Jimmy, noncon ‼️, nsfw

okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jimmy as a character and how a noncon scene would go between him and reader and I’m. I need to share these thoughts with all my Jimmy freaks because it’s not what yall would expect.

Jimmy enjoyers please let me know if this seems. Canon.

So, I’m envisioning a scene on the Tulpar with Reader being assaulted instead of Anya. But his relationship w reader is different because there’s an implied one-sided (or even mutual depending on how you are) crush. Plus you two are more friends than he is w Anya (he actually shows a dab of respect for you.)

Jimmy’s been festering internally…supremely jealous of his best friend and super guilty about that on top of that. And overall it manifests as anger. (And when curly starts charming you without trying it makes him RAGE.) He’s overall in a bad place mentally and it’s been building over the years of hauling w Curly and his shitty life on Earth.

I think the scene would start with him like, standing over your bed when you’re asleep and *heavily* debating this. Like. Is he really going to do this? To a crewmate? To someone he actually kinda considers a friend?

And he makes some sort of movement or sound and it startles you awake. And you start asking questions and he just puts a hand over your mouth to shut you up. And he starts going panic mode and “well it’s already gone this far so. Might as well do it.”

And like. Considering your relationship and Jimmy’s mentality. He switches from being aggressive to caring. He’s forcing himself on you and it hurts and you’re crying and then all the sudden he’s like “You okay?” And wiping your tears with his thumb. And then it’s like a switch flips again and he’s like “this is your fault. You made me do this. You’ve wanted it. Don’t act like you haven’t been seducing me.”

And then he makes you cum and in his fucked up mindset that’s proof that you *do* like this and that you *did* want him all along. Not Curly. Him. And Jimmy goes “”lovey dovey”” again because his stupid brain is like. “Finally proof they’ve wanted me all this time. I got it.”

And he cuddles you for a minute and kisses your neck as if like…this was some cute scene between lovers. Before the guilt eats away at him again and you feel warm tears against your skin. Maybe he mumbles out an Apology……..Before you can actually ask what’s wrong Jimmy pulls away and is like “don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” Before stumbling out the room in a mess.

yeah I love noncon that is complex from both sides okay.

[itendtothinkalot]

beomgyu!spiderman au

summary: you and beomgyu have a normal yet budding friendship—well, mostly normal. turns out he's got a bit of a secret, and not just any secret, he's spiderman and well he doesnt want u to find out.

genre: fluff

characters: beomgyu!spiderman x f!reader

words: 4.6

a/n: idk i thought this wld be fun to write

warnings: nothing much

It was weird. So weird that it left this hollow ache in your chest every time you thought about it. Beomgyu wasn’t like this—he wasn’t the kind of person who left you wondering, second-guessing. He’d always been so easy to read, an open book with no missing pages. If something was wrong, you’d know. If he had a secret, he’d tell you. But now? Now he was shutting you out, and you didn’t understand why.

You tried to brush it off at first. Everyone gets busy, right? He had a life, you had a life, and it wasn’t like he owed you every second of his time. But standing you up three times in one week? That wasn’t just “busy.” That was deliberate.

And you weren’t mad—you told yourself you weren’t mad. You were just… confused. Hurt, maybe. Because this wasn’t like him. Beomgyu was your best friend. The guy who had spent hours trying to braid your hair after watching some random tutorial, only to give up and suggest cutting it all off instead. The guy who knew all your favorite snacks and always bought extras just in case. The guy who swore he’d never leave you hanging.

Except now he was. And every time you tried to talk to him about it, he’d brush you off with some flimsy excuse, like he couldn’t even be bothered to lie properly.

“I was just late,” he’d say, his voice light, casual, like he wasn’t tearing you up inside.

Late? For three days straight?

It was ridiculous. But instead of pushing, you waited. Because what else could you do? You couldn’t exactly drag the truth out of him, and part of you—an annoyingly soft part—was scared of what you might hear if you did.

So you waited. You sat in your apartment, half-watching reruns of a show you weren’t even interested in, your phone next to you on the couch just in case he called. And he always did, eventually, with that same apologetic tone that somehow made it worse.

“Don’t watch it without me!” he’d said the last time you saw him, practically begging. “Promise me you won’t!”

And you had. You promised. Because that’s what you always did when it came to Beomgyu—you kept your promises, even when he didn’t keep his.

But now it had been weeks since you’d paused that stupid show, and you were starting to wonder if you’d made a mistake. Maybe you should’ve just watched it without him. Maybe you should’ve stopped waiting altogether.

You sighed, slumping further into the couch. “Stupid Beomgyu,” you muttered under your breath.

And yet, you knew the moment he showed up, all of this would melt away. Your frustration, your hurt—it would disappear the second he smiled at you, like it always did. Maybe you were too soft. Or maybe…

Maybe you felt more for him than you wanted to admit.

(You did. You absolutely did.)

But it didn’t matter, right? You shook the thought out of your head. He was your best friend. That was all. Adding feelings into the mix would only ruin things, and you weren’t going to risk that.

Still, the ache in your chest didn’t go away.

You must’ve drifted off at some point because the next thing you felt was someone nudging your shoulder.

“Hey…”

Your eyes blinked open, hazy and unfocused. And there he was, crouching in front of you with that same apologetic look.

“Gyu?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” His voice was soft, quieter than usual. “Did you fall asleep?”

You wiped at your mouth, realizing you’d been drooling. Great. “How’d you even get in? I locked the door.”

His eyes flicked to the side. “You left your keys out front again.”

“I… I don’t think I did.” You frowned, sitting up and pulling your blanket tighter around yourself. “And why’s the window open? I thought I closed it.”

“You probably forgot.” His voice was quick, dismissive.

You narrowed your eyes but let it slide. “I guess. So, where’ve you been?”

“Just out,” he said, avoiding your gaze.

“Out where?”

“The grocery store,” he muttered. “You know… stuff like that.”

“Grocery store?” You looked him up and down. “Where are the groceries, then?”

His laugh was awkward, almost forced. “Why the interrogation? I thought we were watching our show.”

“Maybe we would be if you actually showed up on time,” you shot back, the words sharper than you intended.

“I said I was out!” His voice cracked, a sudden edge of frustration breaking through. “Can we just… watch the show?”

The shift caught you off guard. Beomgyu never snapped at you—not like this. You stared at him, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of his, but his expression was locked tight.

“Fine,” you said softly, scooting over to make space for him on the couch.

He sat down beside you, a little too close, and for a moment, you thought about pressing him again. But the tension in his shoulders stopped you. Whatever was going on, he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

The room felt heavier than usual. The two of you sat side by side on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, but it wasn’t the same. Normally, there’d be sarcastic commentary flying back and forth, bursts of laughter at the ridiculous plot twists, or arguments over which character made the dumbest decisions. But tonight? Silence. The kind that didn’t just fill the air—it seeped into it, cold and suffocating.

The show was playing, but neither of you were really watching. The images moved, the characters spoke, but your mind was elsewhere, and you were sure his was too.

You stole a glance at him. His face was slightly turned away, hood pulled over his head like he was trying to shield himself from the world—or maybe from you.

And then the words slipped out, quieter than you intended.

“Are you sick of me?”

Your voice was so soft it barely felt like your own, but it cut through the silence like a sharp knife.

Beomgyu froze. For a moment, he didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. Then he turned to you, just slightly, still not meeting your eyes.

“What?” His voice cracked. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “No. Never. Why would you even think that?”

You shifted, pulling your knees to your chest and hugging them tightly. “Because… because you’ve been avoiding me like the plague. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? You’re kind of my best friend, Beomgyu.”

Your words hung in the air, raw and vulnerable.

“I know,” he said quietly, his voice laced with guilt. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

But he still wouldn’t look at you. His eyes stayed fixed on the screen, his hood casting a shadow over his face.

That’s when you noticed. He hadn’t taken it off—not once since he arrived. Beomgyu never kept his hood up indoors. He hated it, said it made him feel stuffy. 

“Beomgyu,” you said softly, sitting up straighter. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head, pulling the hood tighter around his face. “It’s nothing. I just—can we not do this right now? Please?”

Your chest tightened. The Beomgyu you knew was open, even painfully so at times. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, never hesitating to share what was on his mind. But now? He was closed off, guarded in a way you’d never seen before.

And it scared you.

You didn’t think. You just moved closer, scooting toward him until your knees brushed against his. Your hands found his cheeks, soft but firm as you turned his face toward you.

“Beomgyu…” Your voice wavered, your heart sinking the moment his eyes met yours.

Your breath caught. His face—the left side—was a mess. Swollen, raw, the kind of bruising that made your chest ache just looking at it. It wasn’t just a scrape or a tumble. It looked angry, like it had a story you didn’t want to hear.

You swallowed hard, forcing down the gasp that threatened to escape. He didn’t need that right now. Instead, you steadied your voice, though your hands trembled slightly.

“What happened?”

He tried to look away, but your hands held him there, gently but firmly.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, barely above a whisper. “I fell—”

“Bullshit.” The word came out harsher than you intended, but you didn’t care. “This doesn’t look like a fall, Beomgyu. Not even close.”

You could feel it now—the sting of tears threatening to spill. Everything from the past few weeks was bubbling up: the missed hangouts, the lies, the hood, the silence. And now this.

“Did someone do this to you?” Your voice cracked, barely holding it together.

He hesitated. His jaw tightened under your palms, and for a moment, you thought he’d lie again. But then he exhaled, defeated.

“No. I mean… yes.” He paused, his voice faltering. “I mean… kind of.”

Your brows furrowed.

“What do you mean kind of?” Your voice cracked, rising just enough to betray the knot tightening in your chest. “Beomgyu, what’s going on? Who did this to you?”

He sighed, pulling back slightly, your hands falling to your lap. “It’s nothing,” he muttered, his voice low. “It’ll heal in no time.”

“Beomgyu—”

“I’m fine,” he cut you off, avoiding your eyes.

And then—

“BREAKING NEWS!”

The sudden burst of sound from the TV made you both jump, your heads snapping toward the screen in unison.

The anchor’s voice was urgent, almost breathless. “Spider-Man vigilante almost gets caught in bank robbery two roads ahead from West Avenue earlier tonight. Witnesses report seeing him injured but still managing to escape authorities…”

“Look at how messy the world is. God, I can’t even fathom if you were out there doing stupid shit like this,” you sighed aloud, rubbing your temples and covering your face with your hands, the weight of the week catching up to you.

Beomgyu gulped audibly. “I–”

You didn’t hear him. Your eyes stayed glued to the screen, the video playing on repeat. Spider-Man, scraped up, barely getting to his feet, stumbling before launching away into the night. Something about it nagged at you, pulling at a thread you didn’t even know was there.

Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and paused the footage.

Your gaze flickered between the screen and Beomgyu.

Then back to the screen.

Spider-Man's bruise—the one on his face—was in the exact same place as Beomgyu’s.

Your heart stuttered.

You turned to him slowly, eyes scanning him up and down. He wasn’t looking at you anymore; instead, his gaze was glued to the floor, shoulders hunched. His hoodie sleeves were pulled down to his wrists, but now, the faintest hint of color peeked out—red and blue.

“Beomgyu,” you said carefully, your voice low, deliberate. “What are you wearing?”

You didn’t wait for an answer. Before he could react, you grabbed his arm and yanked the sleeve up.

And there it was.

Red and blue, unmistakable.

The fabric of the suit stretched over his skin, torn slightly in places, the bright colors muted by smudges of dirt and—was that blood?

“What. The. Fuck.”

Your words came out in a whisper, barely audible, but the weight behind them was deafening.

Beomgyu finally looked up, his wide eyes meeting yours, panic and guilt written all over his face. “I can explain,” he stammered, his voice trembling.

“You fucking—idiot.”

Your voice cracked as you spat the words, frustration laced with a trembling undertone of worry. You bolted from the living room, leaving Beomgyu staring after you with wide, uncertain eyes. A moment later, you came back, lugging your first aid kit and dumping it unceremoniously on the coffee table.

Dropping to your knees in front of him, you started rummaging through the kit, pulling out antiseptic wipes, gauze, and bandages like a woman possessed.

Beomgyu opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off with a sharp glare. “Don’t,” you warned, your voice trembling with restrained anger. “Just sit there and let me deal with your idiocy.”

You grabbed his chin, pulling his face toward you. His eyes searched yours, but you avoided his gaze, too focused on the task at hand. The bruise on his face looked even worse up close, a deep purple that made your stomach twist in knots.

“You’re so stupid,” you murmured under your breath, the anger bubbling to the surface as you dabbed at the cut on his cheek with an antiseptic wipe. He flinched slightly, and you pressed harder, your hands trembling.

“An idiot,” you added, almost to yourself.

Beomgyu sighed, resigned to the scolding. “I know,” he mumbled.

You scoffed. “Putting yourself in danger to protect who? Huh? People who don’t even give two fucks about you?” Your voice cracked again as you pressed a little too hard with the wipe, making him wince. “You’re an idiot for doing this to yourself.”

“The biggest idiot I know,” you finished, your voice softer now, tinged with a mix of anger and worry.

Beomgyu chuckled, the sound low and almost sheepish. “You give a fuck about me,” he muttered under his breath.

Your hands froze. You looked up at him, narrowing your eyes. “What? Are you trying to say you’re doing this because of me? Because I didn’t ask you to do any of this. In fact, I didn’t even know you had spider-fucking powers.”

His lips quirked into a faint smile, amused despite the pain. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just—”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “Don’t try to justify this. You scared the hell out of me, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu watched you, his smile lingering as he took in your flustered state. This wasn’t how he imagined you’d react when you found out. In his head, you’d be awestruck, maybe even impressed. Maybe you’d finally see him as more than just your idiot best friend.

But this? The anger, the worry etched on your face, the way your hands shook as you patched him up—it wasn’t what he expected. And yet, somehow, it made him feel warm inside.

“You’re so mad at me,” he said, the corners of his lips twitching upward.

“Damn right I am,” you snapped, tying off the bandage a little too tightly.

“You’re mad because you care,” he teased, his voice soft, almost playful.

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed slightly, betraying you. “I’m mad because you’re a dumbass,” you shot back, but your voice had lost some of its bite.

Beomgyu laughed, and for a moment, the tension eased. Despite everything, despite the bruises and the secrets and the sheer absurdity of the situation, you couldn’t help but smile faintly. Because, as much as you hated to admit it, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

You dabbed the alcohol-soaked cotton ball gently on his bruised cheek, your tongue poking out slightly as you focused. Your brows knitted together in deep concentration, and every time he flinched, you did too, wincing like you could feel his pain yourself.

Beomgyu bit his lip, trying to stifle a smile. Even in the middle of this mess, you looked so ridiculously cute, so endearingly worried. He wanted to tell you to stop fussing, but honestly, he didn’t want this moment to end.

“Does it hurt?” you asked softly, your voice full of genuine concern.

“No,” he lied, shaking his head.

You squinted at him suspiciously. “How about this?”

Before he could register your words, you drove your knee into his groin.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” he yelped, doubling over in pain.

You crossed your arms, glaring down at him as he clutched his stomach. “Hurts, doesn’t it? That’s how I feel every single time you’re out there fighting God knows what,” you snapped, your voice trembling with anger and worry.

Beomgyu groaned, still catching his breath, but he couldn’t stop the faint smile creeping onto his face despite the unimaginable pain. “You’re insane,” he muttered, still grimacing.

“And you’re an idiot,” you shot back, your arms still crossed, but your voice softened slightly.

“I’m fine,” he said after a moment, straightening up as best as he could. “I’ll be fine.”

“Beomgyu, you don’t get it,” you said, your voice breaking now as the worry in your chest spilled out. “Sure, you’re fine now. Sure, you’ll be fine tomorrow. But these people…they’re getting weirder, stronger. Yesterday it was a bank robber. And you saw the news two weeks ago—the Avengers are fighting aliens from outer space!”

He stayed quiet, his gaze dropping to the floor.

You took a shaky breath, blinking back tears. “We’re just kids, Beomgyu. From a small-town neighborhood. You’re out here fighting things you shouldn’t even be near. What happens when you come up against something you can’t handle?”

He looked up at you then, his face serious, but there was something tender in his expression too. “I can handle it,” he said softly, his voice steady.

You shook your head, biting your lip. “You don’t know that.”

Beomgyu hesitated for a moment before reaching out, his hand brushing against yours. “I’m not doing this because I want to,” he admitted. “I’m doing it because…because if I don’t, who will? If I can stop someone from getting hurt, then isn’t it worth it?”

Your heart ached at his words, but you couldn’t bring yourself to argue. Because as much as you hated it, deep down, you knew he believed what he was saying.

“Beomgyu,” you began, your voice trembling as you tried to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside you. “The people you’re saving out there…they mean the world to the people who love them. I get that. But you—” your voice cracked, and you took a shaky breath. “You mean the world to me.”

His eyes softened, the guilt in them deepening with every word you spoke.

“It’s not that I don’t care about what the fuck’s been happening with the world, but when they look at you, they see a hero,” you continued. “But…when I look at you, I see my best friend. The person who’s been there for me through everything. I can’t let you get hurt. I just… I can’t.”

Your words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, all he could do was watch you, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

“I’ll be careful,” he said finally, his voice soft but steady. “I promise. I’ll be here. Always.”

You stared at him, searching his face for something—certainty, reassurance, anything to make you believe him. “Can I count on it?”

“What?” he asked, taken aback by the raw vulnerability in your voice.

“Can I count on your promises?” you whispered, your hands clutching each other tightly, like you were holding yourself together. “Because if anything—and I mean anything—ever happens to you, I’d feel like it’s on me. For not stopping you. For not doing enough to keep you safe.”

Beomgyu’s heart broke at your words, at the way your tears glistened in your eyes but refused to fall, as if you were fighting against your own pain for his sake. He stepped closer, his hands reaching out to gently take yours.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” he said, his voice filled with a quiet determination. “You don’t have to carry that. It’s not on you. This is my choice, and I’ll do everything I can to keep that promise to you. To always come back. To always be here.”

You wanted to believe him, but the fear in your chest wouldn’t let go. Still, you nodded, swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill.

“Just… don’t make me regret this,” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

“I won’t,” he said, squeezing your hands gently. “I swear.”

But as much as you wanted to hold onto his words, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of everything: that no promise could shield him from the dangers he could face.

It had been a few hours, and all Beomgyu and you had done was lie on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. Maybe a few tears here and there, mostly from you. Well, all from you, while Beomgyu kept insisting he'd be fine. It was a cycle of reassurance before things finally started to calm down.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" you asked, scratching the back of your neck, your voice quiet. "I thought we shared everything."

Beomgyu chuckled, clearly not taking you too seriously. "Well, look at how you reacted. Not too well, by the way."

You shot him a glare, not backing down. "What if you were in my shoes? You’d be telling me to take that suit off the second you found out."

Beomgyu smirked, clearly amused. "Well, that's because you have no athletic ability—"

You rolled your eyes. "The only reason you have athletic ability is because you got bitten by a radioactive spider. So... who’s really the winner here? Hint: it's the spider."

Beomgyu’s smirk faltered as he laughed softly, shaking his head. "Okay, you’ve got a point there. But still, it’s not about athleticism. It’s about being able to do something, anything, to make a difference."

You sighed, a little exhausted but grateful for the lighthearted moment amidst everything. "Just promise me, okay? No more secret superhero acts without telling me first."

His tone softened, the playful edge fading as sincerity took over. "I promise. Well, unless you don't pick up the phone and someone's getting robbed. I can't just sit back, right?"

You raised an eyebrow. "I trust you with some small-time bank robber armed with a knife or whatever, but an alien threatening to destroy Earth for eternity? That's a little different.”

Beomgyu’s grin returned, though there was a glint of seriousness behind it. "Okay, okay. I get it. Aliens are a little… above my pay grade," he teased, nudging you gently.

You crossed your arms, leaning back into the couch. "Exactly! See, now we're on the same page."

"Fine," he sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. "I’ll leave the big, world-ending catastrophes to the professionals." He paused, then added with a smirk, "But if there's ever a small-time villain with a bad attitude, I’ll be there. I can't resist a good bank robbery."

You shot him a playful glare. "Just remember, you’ve got me to answer to if you get yourself killed trying to stop some thief."

"Wouldn’t dream of it," he said with a wink, though there was a hint of seriousness beneath the playful gesture. "Also," he muttered, "have I told you how Iron Man's basically mentoring me?"

"The Kang Taehyun? Get your head out of your ass, Beomgyu."

"Oh, I’ve got him on speed dial! Watch this." Beomgyu pulled out his phone and dialed a number, putting it on speaker. The phone rang for a while before abruptly cutting off, the screen showing that the call had been declined.

"Well... he might've been busy. I mean, he's Iron Man." Beomgyu shrugged with a grin, clearly trying to mask his embarrassment.

You rolled your eyes. "You do realize I don't care about this whole suave superhero life you're living, right? I'm mostly concerned about your safety."

Beomgyu raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright, but if Mr. Kang Taehyun knocks on our door tonight, I'll just tell him to beat it. My girlfriend doesn't care."

"Girlfriend?" You raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look.

"Did I say girlfriend? I meant best friend. You know, because you're a girl and all…" Beomgyu chuckled nervously, quickly turning his face away from you.

“No, you said girlfriend,” you teased, raising an eyebrow. "And don't think I didn't catch that."

Beomgyu stiffened, his face turning a little red as he tried to play it off. "I—uh, I meant best friend! You know, because you're a girl and all... I—I’m just—uh, kidding. Obviously."

You crossed your arms, leaning in with a smirk. "Are you sure about that? Because it sounded like you were already claiming me as your girlfriend, Beomgyu."

“Okay, and what about it?” Beomgyu’s voice softened, his playful smirk turning into something more serious. “Let’s be real, we were this close to telling each other we liked each other anyway. So why not skip the whole confessional part and get to the point? Let’s date.”

You stared at him for a moment, unsure if you were hearing him right. The air between you felt different now, charged with something you hadn’t expected.

"Wait, are you—" You stopped yourself, suddenly self-conscious. "You’re serious?"

Beomgyu leaned back, his eyes not leaving yours. "Yeah, I’m serious. I don’t want to keep pretending like I don’t care about you more than just... this." He motioned between the two of you, his voice growing softer, yet full of conviction.

For a moment, all you could do was breathe, trying to process his words. But then, the feeling you’d been ignoring for so long bubbled up, and before you could stop yourself, you found yourself smiling.

“This is how you’re going to ask me out? Looking like Scar from The Lion King and telling me to date you while using that tone on me? This is almost too romantic,” you said, dripping with sarcasm.

Beomgyu blinked in mock offense, throwing his hands up dramatically. “Hey, Scar’s got style! I can’t help if I’m channeling his energy right now. And for the record, I wasn’t angry—I was being passionate.”

You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face. “Oh, passionate, huh? So now I’m supposed to swoon over your villainous charisma? Really selling it.”

He rolled his eyes playfully but then leaned in a little closer, his expression softening. “Look, I’m not great with words, but if you want the long, drawn-out confession, I can do that too. But you already know how I feel. I care about you. More than anyone else. So... what do you say?”

You took a deep breath, letting his words settle in, the sarcasm fading as your heart did the talking. "Well, when you put it like that...I kinda wanna hear the long, drawn-out confession.” 

Beomgyu grinned, his eyes lighting up as he straightened up. “Alright, alright, if you insist.” He cleared his throat dramatically, then looked at you with all the seriousness he could muster, though a playful spark lingered in his gaze.

“I’ve spent countless nights trying to figure out how to say this. Should I tell you how every time I see you, my heart races? Or how I can’t help but smile whenever you walk into the room, like everything’s right in the world? Maybe I should mention how I think about you more than I care to admit, even when I’m supposed to be saving the city,” he said, each word sincere, though he tried to mask it with his usual humor. “But let’s get to the point. I care about you more than anything, and I think it’s about time I stopped pretending like I’m okay with just being your friend. So... what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?”

“If you’ll take me as your girlfriend, then yes.” 

Beomgyu's heart skipped a beat at your words, and for a moment, he forgot to breathe. He stared at you, eyes wide, as if processing what you had just said. 

A grin slowly spread across his face, softer than his usual teasing smirk. "I think I can handle that. Might be a little tougher than fighting bad guys, but if I can take them on, I can handle you, right?"

You rolled your eyes, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "Oh, so now I'm your biggest challenge, huh?" you teased, raising an eyebrow.

Beomgyu smirked, his gaze softening as he leaned in a little closer. "You’re definitely the toughest one," he said, his voice low and sincere, "but I think I'm up for it."

"Well, good luck," you whispered, your voice suddenly quieter, the teasing giving way to something a little deeper. "You’re gonna need it."

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

First of all, this is about an active refusal by some people to acknowledge that solas has done some really bad things, in favour of pretending he’s a good person who just made some “mistakes” (genocide), and the way that effects their ability to engage with a plot that is about the character as written, and their subsequent insistence that it must be bad writing because it doesn’t work with the version of Solas that never existed in the story. I am not, as you are saying on your blog, saying everyone else is incapable of understanding. Not only have most people got this, I’m sure those who haven’t are completely capable of doing so, if they were willing to admit that Solas isn’t a good person and was never intended to be.

This post is also directed at the people who are so insistent in their belief that this is a terrible game and Solas is a wonderful person who’s done nothing wrong except a “few mistakes” that they come into my ask box and notes calling me homophobic slurs and sending me sexually graphic hate mail for seeing solas through the lens of not being a good person (he has committed genocide) and thinking the game is well written.

If you aren’t part of one of those groups, the post isn’t directed at you.

Onto Solas, I have a couple of points. First, human morality is the only lens we can interpret this through, because spirits don’t exist. This game was written by humans and for humans, and Solas is a constructed character, not a guy who actually exists and is beholden to a spirit nature. This means that being the embodiment of egotistical pride doesn’t absolve him of his actions stemming from pride, they make him a metaphor for being consumed by egotistical pride and how that’s not great. He is not an actual guy who actually can’t help himself, he’s a character who serves a purpose.

As for him being a mirror, I don’t think it’s to the extent that his nature fundamentally changes. Regardless of how nice you are to him in either game he still: sundered the titans, murdered Felassan, was directly involved in murdering everyone at the conclave, is racist to dwarves and qunari (to dwarves for the effects of HIS crime against them), planned to kill literally everyone who currently exists, blocked Briala from her efforts to improve the lives of elves in orlais, killed a BUNCH of people in his preparations for killing everyone else, murdered Varric, used blood magic on rook to gaslight them into thinking he was still alive, trapped rook in a fade prison for the crime of literally just being in his way, and tried to manipulate rook into being complicit in his second genocide by misleading them about the veil.

All of these things are bad and they all happen regardless of your attitude or actions towards him. In fact, the only two things about him you can actually change through your actions are:

1) If you have high enough approval in inquisition he starts to realise that actually the people of thedas might be real people who’s lives have value, but that doesn’t even stop him planning to murder you all and destroy the world, and it makes his choice to isolate himself for the next decade while he continues his plans seem, if anything, more insidious because now he knows it is wrong.

2) If you get the essence of Mythal and choose to convince him he’s wrong after the final battle, he will realise that he is wrong. But that doesn’t make him not wrong throughout the rest of the games, it’s literally an admission that he was.

If he mirrors your demeanour to him it’s very surface level. You exchange niceties, and he’ll be polite as he plans the mass murder of all of your people and manipulates your mind with blood magic to make you hallucinate your friend that he murdered still being alive. He is still the embodiment of egotistical pride, regardless of how you act towards him, and he still behaves accordingly.

His overall actions do not change, and these actions are not ones that can be separated from the person doing them. It’s not that he’s had a bad day and he’s been a little rude but that doesn’t say anything about him really, he’s committed genocide. He’s committed multiple murders in addition to that. He’s planning another genocide. That makes him a person who is willing to do that. You cannot hand wave away crimes of this magnitude.

I also quite strongly believe that when someone has committed crimes of that magnitude, and has treated people with that amount of disdain and dehumanisation (I know they’re not all human because fantasy setting, but you get what I mean), people are under no obligation to be nice to them. If you want to be nice, fine. But this is a guy who, regardless of how you as a player treat him, has committed multiple atrocities, used every chance he is given to commit more, and denies personhood to those who don’t meet his personal definition and then treats those people like their lives have less value. I don’t care if being rude to him makes him rude back. People should not feel obligated to bend over backwards to pander to and be nice to a person who thinks their lives are less valuable than a minor convenience for his own people and therefore murdering them all for it is justified. And they certainly shouldn’t when the reason is “he’s a little bit less of a dick if you’re nice to him. No he doesn’t stop trying to destroy the world and kill everyone in it, but he’s a little less rude about it”. His surface level demeanour doesn’t change my opinion on the atrocities he’s committed and is planning to commit.

Solas is not a mirror in the sense that he’ll act to you as you act towards him, because no matter how nice you are to him he is still actively gaslighting you by using blood magic to alter your senses, planning to imprison you, and planning to kill you and all of your people. Which even at your absolute meanest to him you can get, you are not even approaching. The characters in this game are all reflected against each other, but to compare and contrast, not because Solas fundamentally changes based on your approach.

You mentioned coercion vs free will in your tags and I think that brings us nicely back to the point I was making in my post. Because Cyrian is being coerced by Anaris, but that doesn’t change the fact that if he goes through with Anaris’ plans, that is a horrific crime he will be responsible for. Coercion doesn’t absolve you of responsibility, and on crimes of this scale if you decide to help them you are complicit, even if being coerced.

That’s partly what this post was pointing out, that every debate you could have about Solas is played out at some other point of the game. Cyrian ultimately does not help Anaris, he chooses to stop him. Solas could have chosen this too. He didn’t, and chose of his own free will to sunder the titans, and is therefore responsible for it. Following orders does not mean you aren’t responsible for your own actions.

These themes run deeply through the game, and what this post is about is that if you refuse to acknowledge that Solas has done wrong and try to force the game through the lens of Solas being a misunderstood pookie who’s done no wrong (again, if this is not your opinion of Solas then this post isn’t directed at you. Because it’s directed at the people who are like that) then no, none of these themes will make sense and none of the game will make sense, but that’s on the person actively refusing to acknowledge that Solas has done wrong, it’s not the game not making sense.

I think a huge factor in people not being able to understand this game is that the game as a whole relies on understanding Solas’ character as written, and people are refusing to understand it

Solas is, and has been since his first appearance, an egotistical, hubristic, racist, manipulative, abusive and condescending asshole who regularly commits atrocities and pretends that being sad about them is enough penance. He is a terrible person who insists he’s actually the hero of the story. He is a liar and a manipulator, and he lies to himself as well. He uses other people like chess pieces and sacrifices them for his cause without much of a thought, and without them even knowing they are being used.

This is who he is. This is who he was always written to be. And veilguard is almost entirely about deconstructing that. Every member of the veilguard is a foil to solas. They are all who he pretends he is, and his false hero fantasy falls apart when you put them next to him.

Every single companion storyline is about that character successfully doing something that Solas is incapable of, but would be capable of if he wasn’t such a terrible person. And they all face a dark reflection of themselves and come out the other side mostly unscathed by that, aware that this dark reflection is not them because they are not actually like that.

Solas faces many of the same challenges the companions do, and fails each and every one of them, because, unlike them, he is not actually a hero. He is not a good person. He does not learn to accept that just because something is broken doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of it worth saving. He does not learn to accept the harsh truths and move forward. He does not accept that he is responsible for his own actions, even if someone else orders them. He fails every time.

Solas faces not one but two dark reflections of himself, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, the prideful god who always thinks he’s right no matter the consequences, and the servant and lover of another god whose atrocities are not justified by having been pushed by their lover and mistress, but does not come out the other side unscathed because it turns out he IS actually like them. His reflections are accurate, they’re real parts of himself that he pretends don’t exist, not just twisted versions of their fears like they are for the companions. At the end of the game he even admits that yes, he is very similar to Elgar’nan.

Pretty much the entirety of veilguard is a very careful and deliberate deconstruction of Solas’ character and self image. We go through, in elaborate detail, all of his crimes, all of his mistakes, all of the reasons why he is wrong, why his actions are unjustifiable, why his regret doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, how he thinks it does anyway.

We completely tear down every single aspect of the image he has constructed for himself. We destroy every single excuse with clear examples showing that that was not how things had to go. Every justification. Every insistence it’s okay because he’s sorry. Every time he insists he knows best and we should leave him to it. Every single illusion that he is a good person is shattered. By the end of it there is absolutely nothing left, and his repeated attempts to keep up the facade come off as pathetic and ridiculous. In all his banters with companions he tries to use his usual tricks, pretty excuses, belittling comments, fake niceties and every time he’s completely shut down.

He tries to imply Davrin has a biased view of him from stories about the dread wolf, Davrin responds with evidence the truth is even worse. He tries to apologise to Harding, she comes back with a list of all the terrible things he’s done that an apology can’t cover. He tries to appeal to spite, spite points out he hurt Rook so why should he trust him. He comes up with excuses for killing Varric and Neve points out that there’s no pretty excuse for using blood magic on Rook in such a cruel way afterwards. The illusion is shattered. That’s what the entire game has been building up to. And it makes his last attempt at betrayal seem embarrassing, because we now see through the facade and know that he was too obsessed with himself to even consider we’d see it coming.

But the thing is a lot of people refuse to see this. This is where his characters been heading since the beginning. This is who he’s always been. But a lot of people ignore any and every negative thing about him, and then complain the game doesn’t make sense. Of course it doesn’t make sense. You’ve ignored every single theme, plot point, and piece of characterisation to make up a version of Solas in your head and that’s not the Solas the game is about. It makes complete sense when you see Solas as he truly is, as he was written to be. It’s such a good bit of writing when you actually let yourself experience it as it is and allow yourself to be open to the idea that the guy who is trying to commit his second genocide might be a bad person.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

On the discussions of leadership and leona finding fulfillment in the future, i’ve always found the times he’s stood out most in twst to be when he is mentoring someone. Subtly, never giving people answers but guiding them towards them, using language and examples they understand. We see it with ruggie, jack, jamil, all of savannaclaw and so many other characters.

which gets me thinking: what if leona becomes a teacher? he’d get the acknowledgment for his skills and ability he needs, but also be able to help improve sunset savanna by educating and equalizing the playing field for the next generation.

Ruggie’s dream got me thinking about it and now i can’t get it out of my head as a possible route to where he can get the things he ultimately needs to thrive.

Relevant posts: [ Does Leona need to be king to be happy? / Would Leona be a better king that Falena? / Catching up with him in book 7 ] [My thoughts on the book 7 part 11 Leona update is here!]

I agree that Leona tends to shine when he’s in a leadership or mentorship role to younger students! This occurs multiple times over, both in main stories (notably book 2, 3, 6, and 7), vignettes (his Camping Gear, Epel’s Union Jacket, etc.), and various voice lines (typically from younger students remarking on their admiration for him). He's actually really good at explaining things to others in a simplistic enough way and with realistic examples that slot neatly into their worldviews. I don't know that I would call it "subtle" though, there have definitely been times where Leona just outright tells others what to do or what's wrong with their way of thinking (mainly with Jamil in book 6, or ordering around his fellow magift/spelldrive team members). I think when you say "subtle", it's more like Leona has a way of leading others to acting in his favor, as he can occasionally have his own ulterior motives in imparting wisdom. (For example, he helps out the first years with mining for magestones so he can nap without being disturbed.)

Mmmm… I do think the idea of Leona as a teacher is interesting, but I don’t know if that would feasibly work. I think we as the players can appreciate, say, the NRC staff, but in reality teaching is often a thankless job where parents and/or the school board will blame you for students not performing. You also need to put in several (unpaid) hours of work outside of class grading, preparing lessons, going to meetings, etc. I don’t know that he would be satisfied with “grunt work” like that. I think he’d also have to go back to get his masters/teaching license, which means more studies 💀

I also think the scale of teaching is too small for Leona’s ideals. Yes, technically your lessons will have a continuous or long-term impact because your students might then graduate and go on to change the world thanks to your teachings. But, in my opinion, it better suits his grand ambitions to be the one establishing schools and then leaving others to run those institutions for him; he’d have a much larger impact (and more immediate results, which is what Leona is after) that way, similar to how it is portrayed in Ruggie’s dream. A single teacher, by comparison, can do little to change the system for the countless people who need it (for example, the starving children in the slums). Additionally, it’s easier for Leona to control his own projects as some higher authority, whereas it’s not do easy for him to control what students do once they leave his tutelage—and for Leona, bring in command is important (he had no vice dorm leader because of this).

I also have to wonder if teaching is really the right field for Leona to get into…? I think people often confuse “being good at something” with “liking something”. This is also true of many fandom depictions of Leona; fans tend to claim he’s just “being tsundere” when he acts grumpy around his juniors other nephew Cheka and that he secretly harbors great love for kids. And while I do love me a wholesome take, I just don’t see that 💦 His official profile states his pet peeve is “dealing with kids”; why would objective information from an official profile be a lie? His annoyance seems pretty consistent and genuine when he is assigned some kind of babysitting-adjacent task, and he acts like he would rather not if given the choice but has to anyway in order to avoid graver consequences for himself, a dorm leader. I don’t think he would want to intentionally sign up for a job that means he has to put up with kids on a daily basis—and especially rebellious teenagers that won’t necessarily do what he tells them to.

I guess the comparison you could make here is Crewel, who also seemed to be wild in his youth and also seems to dislike children and disobedience—yet somehow he changed careers from fashion designer to science professor. He had a lot in common with Leona, so I think it could be argued that Leona could still potentially go down the teacher path. If I recall correctly, Leona has also tutored Ruggie and helped him achieve okay grades in present day—so Leona has a track record with teaching. We don’t know for sure what could happen; a lot can change and the future’s unpredictable! But for now, I definitely still think Leona’s ambitions wouldn’t stop at just teaching classes; he’d want to do way more.

… Imagine the insanity of having a literal big-boobed PRINCE as your professor though 💀 I don’t know if I would be able to concentrate properly in that lecture…

[13leaguestories]

2025 Forecast

Do you hear that along the wind? It's saying "you copied and pasted this from Patreon"

looks back at 2024 Yea, naw. I don't really have much to say about it besides it gave birth to some really good ideas that got me psyched about some stories. But mostly it just felt like a really long mile with covered holes that I kept falling into. If any of you watch Neebs Gaming on YouTube, I was Simon this year. If you know, you know.

Like one of the good things is I realized Superstition needed a rewrite that has me so excited, it also gave birth to All That Comes Before (which more on that below) and that my gosh. Like I don't think I can actually explain to you how well that has helped me understand Roe's character.

Sea of Stars came up and I love that story to death, sue me.

It was not the year for shorter stories and prompts though. Like my brain just pretty much died with anything on a smaller level and I hate that. I don't know why! That's the worse part. I don't know why. It also failed on the NSFW parts. That part needs to change pronto but writing them just became ... meh.

But I'll try to stay positive. So this forecast will be a mix of what to expect in January as well as what I hope to accomplish for the year.

Superstition

January: I'm nearly done with AtCB. There's one story left for me to write and that is sitting at 60% and I'll be working on today and tomorrow in hopes of finishing it.

So, I'll repeat this again on the itch.io page as well as maybe somewhere on Tumblr. This add-on will cost $3 and each edition will just add more backstory to what already exists. For example, one of the stories is about Roe's mother's funeral. These stories will also include variables that can be be moved over and will further shape Roe & Company personality. Another example of one of the variables introduced is $fear_romance. This variable gives Roe a clingy, jealous, fear of being cheat on, never having a relationship, or nothing. This will obviously work with the characters with Zillah liking clingy but not so much Sydero.

So, with all that said. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO GET. If you 1. just don't want to buy it or 2. know that the device you use hates exporting/importing then don't get it. It's not needed and is more so something you got cos you just want to read it and "hey, look, you get to bring over some cool variables too!"

Alright, moving on.

Yearly: I really don't know what to expect for yearly besides maybe saying I'll get all of S1 rewritten, out and ready. And will be deep into working on S2 and S2's AtCB. I feel like that can easily be reached. But saying "oh yea, S3 will be finished" when I have the other stories to do as well, yea. Can't just spout that lie.

Throne of Ashes

January: So I said that I had some news on Nour. I won't get too deep into it as I think I've said a lot about why Nour is weird for me. Long story short: I wrote Nour with the same build as I did Ruben whereas every other story ended up changing to be something totally different. Nour didn't go through that and so their story always felt like it was over much faster and wasn't hitting right in the end. Well, guess what! I found out what to do. No, I don't have an ETA.

Yearly: Obviously wanting Nour to come out. I'm aiming for Q1 and if I dedicate the early months to them then that should be easy. After that, the next character will be Ozara. No. She will not be done in 2025. (I say that so maybe my brain proves me wrong, it won't).

Sea of Stars

Obviously won't be out this year but man do I really want to put a big dent in it. Like this story gets me so excited. Look, forgive me but this story gets me so pumped to do.

Riders of Abauruth

I want to do at least something with it here. Probably after I finish Nour's route, I'll slot RoA in for a bit of fun. I miss the dragons. I tried to do a bit of it in November but it was obviously going to take all of my attention and not the "spare a day" attention I was giving it because I have to iron out some plots, brainstorm, reread the old one, etc. But I'm hyped for this.

So, uh. Here's to 2025. A year that I'm not looking forward to at all if I must be honest.