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justliketoreadsowhat · 3 months

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Sweater Weather ✰

✩𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 & 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 ✩

𝐀/𝐧; 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 & 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭

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𝐈’𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐓“ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭.

Today was one of the last college visits you had scheduled for the week, Becoming a transfer student was not something you had planned, but you no longer felt the desire you once felt as a freshman attending Ohio State University for the first time.

The dire decision was made to pick your top 5 schools and visit them, one of them being Uconn.

Traveling out of state was one obstacle, but attending a school that was strongly known for their sports was a different type of catch.

“Girl please!” your sister Breah scolded as she sat on the edge of the bed watching you go back and forth on what to wear. “Your best bet is to wear bright colors and stand out on this huge campus, do you know how many fine athletes walk around here daily?!” she spiraled, throwing herself on the bed to her detriment.

“Breah, we are not here for athletes remember? we’re here for a new environment and better educat-“

“DON’T give me that speech again, you have to realize college just isn’t about academics. Let yourself live a little at least”

You’ve heard that line at least 20 times this week, and it’s only Wednesday, yet you’d be lying to yourself if you said she was wrong.

“I am I am, I just want to get a good feel for everything before I make my decision y’know?” you said fiddling with your pedant that hung way too low on your chest for your liking.

“Oh, sis this is it! you must’ve for Paige Bueckers goes here” she stated sitting up swiftly, ready to defend her statement, she knew you’d disagree. “What more do you need from a University?”

An immediate nerve struck throughout your body listening to the words flow from her mouth at a fast pace. Your eyes couldn’t resist rolling, “You will not focus this visit all on one girl you saw on TikTok!, be so for real right now”

She busted out laughing from your reaction, almost as if she was in disbelief, “We both know she’s not just some girl y/n, she’s quite literally everywhere we look, social media, advertisements, I mean we haven’t even been on this campus for 30 minutes and I have seen her face on every poster possible!”

She wasn’t lying either, Paige’s face was plastered on every corner possible here in Connecticut. You didn’t even want to mention the TIktok epidemic that had flooded your “for you page” after liking one singular video.

“Yeah well she’s just.. a good player and-“

“She’s fine human and she just so happens to be good at many things, now let’s go tour this place, it’s going to be your new home for the next 3 years whether you like it or not” jumping from the spot she’s been sitting in for a prolonged amount of time, she grabbed your hand dragging you out the door from your shared suite. You didn’t feel the need to argue with her anymore, the feeling of nervousness began to replace the urge for another bickering episode between the two of you.

Moving the the double doors, the cool air hit your face sending goosebumps to greet your skin. “I thought it was supposed to be a little warmer down here”

“Mm.. me too but, maybe if we walk a little faster we’ll warm up, just hold tight in your cute little sweater” Breah beamed at you before continuing her tug at your hand walking toward a path with brick and a sidewalk that could barely fit two people.

“Do you even know where we’re going?, you’re just following your thoughts with no directions, can we at least ask someone where the student center is?” you pleaded, hoping her eager tangent would be put to a halt.

“No we’re fine, how hard can it be to find a brick building that literally has “student center” right in front of it. she panned shrugging her shoulders without a care in the world. There had to be at least 10 buildings that were brick and ironically, the names were not in big and bold letters.

The two of you stop dead in your tracks as you realize you’re now faced with 3 brick buildings that look nearly identical, unfortunately, there are no names, just 4 digit numbers painted and embossed on the front right above the large windows.

“How hard could it be right?” you mocked her, letting go of her hand, fishing for your phone in your back pocket in need google maps assistance.

"Well, I guess it's time to find out"

Before you could protest, her grip tightened on your hand as she led you right into the buildings, the automatic sliding doors revealed a spacious lobby, navy blue and white accent colors surrounded the walls.

The scent of warm amber and fresh linen filled the air, everything had a sense of calmness.

"You know.. you had a point about her face being everywhere" taking a couple of steps back trying to examine the huge headshot of Paige's face aligned against the wall, accompanied by the rest of her teammate’s pictures all in unison.

Your amusement quickly faded as you soon realized this was in fact, NOT where you were supposed to be.

"Breah this is not the right place!" barely reaching above a whisper, praying nobody noticed the two of you sticking out like sore thumbs.

"Well it might be.. maybe I can help, there's a map behind our pictures somewhere" an familiar voice chimed in with a soft yet high-pitched tone, causing your eyes to meet direct contact with a girl who was at least 3 times your height, big curly hair that nearly covered her eyes, vibrant brown skin that complemented her stature.

And to no surprise, she was wearing a "UCONN Women's Basketball" long-sleeve shirt with matching sweats accented in navy blue.

Great

"Um, that'd be great actually-" you paused frantically looking over all of the headshots searching for the familiar face that was standing nearly inches away from you.

"Oh! my fault, I'm Aubrey" she smiled pointing at her picture proudly.

She was stunning, her smile was perfect, your sister quickly caught onto the thought roaming through your mind.

"Oh! nice to meet you Aubrey, I'm Breah and this is my sister y/n!, we were looking for the student center, but this could work" interjecting herself with great stealth, it hardly ever fails.

You carefully watched Aubrey's body language as she shamelessly let her eyes wander between the two of you, her eyes drifting back to your sweater, you could nearly see the whirlwind behind her eyes, you could slowly feel the sensation of regret grow seemingly stronger within yourself, this was a terrible idea.

"I can walk you guys over there if you want, it's not that easy to find honestly" she shrugged, her tall frame leaned up against the wall, "but first, I think we need to take y/n to see the person who stole her fit" she smirked, motioning you to follow her lead down the long, brightly lit hallway"

"I- I'm sorry who??" you staggered trying to gain an answer from her, if she thought playing a joke on you about the sweater was going to reel you in, this was definitely the last time you'd be seeing this place.

You soon found yourself speed walking, trying to keep up with her legs was not anything you had prepared for. Glancing back to your sister behind you, she was smiling to herself admiring the entirety of the situation unfolding right before her eyes.

The three of you came to a stop mid-way through the pursuit, Aubrey opened a transparent door that led to a well-furnished living room, gray couches, maple brown tables, and of course, navy-colored carpet covered the floor.

Safe to say you were a sucker for good color coordination, that was until you saw a figure with colors that didn't match the area not one bit.

"Aye P look! I found your twin, Nikka has some competition now" Aubrey laughed gently patting your shoulder, her large hands held the weight you were not expecting, but the feeling soon subsided as your eyes met Paige’s blue irises. They were way brighter in person, but not as bright as her sweater as she was dressed in the same one you wore, a long white t-shirt flowed beneath hers that fit perfectly with her tall stature. Her cream-colored cargo pants had enough pockets for two people, yet she somehow made the outfit look so well put together.

She was gorgeous

“I mean I’d like to say I wear it better but, you look pretty good in it yourself” her eyes roaming your figure, causing heat to rise throughout your body, she knew exactly what she was doing.

Forcing a small smile to form upon your lips to prevent your knees from buckling, “Well thank you...” words were not forming in your brain “Where’d you get yours from? you asked pointing at her fit.

“I thrifted it” she said proudly, looking down as if it was her most proud possession. There’s no way a woman as wealthy as Paige willingly goes to the thrift store, or so you thought.

“Yeahh, what she won’t tell you is that I’m the one who found it for her” Aubrey chimed in shaking her head in disbelief “give credit when it’s due”

“Well you guys all have a good sense of fashion soo, why don’t you guys take pictures!” Breah examined yanking out her digital camera she had been dying to use ever since she bought it.

Paige laughed at her sudden burst of energy, but the idea riddled something in her mind. “We can go downtown and take some when the sun goes down, the scenery always looks better at night, it’ll make your colors pop”

“You mean our colors pop, you’re taking some flick’s too right?” hoped laced in your tone.

“Oh most definitely, I would never turn down the opportunity to take pictures with someone as beautiful as you"

Suddenly there was no need search any farther, you officially knew where you wanted to spend the rest of your years.

#paige bueckers #uconn wbb #uconn women’s basketball #uconn huskies #aubrey griffin #fanfic #paige x reader

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cozy-writes-things · 3 months

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Edgar x Gn!Reader [Electric Dreams 1984]

Reader does have a set of badonkers though... sorry what can I say i mean everyone has a little bit of badonkers though right? amirite? hello?

"Wh-what's that?"

The little, vintage Pinecone computer before you uttered in synthesized curiosity as he heard your fingers nimbly break open the tape adhesive sealing the contents of the cardboard box away from the outside world.

You hummed in response to this. Ever observant as he was, you should have guessed surprising him would be out of the question. You even took to paying in cash to avoid your online bank statements giving you away. Well, you supposed it was time to spill the beans anyway. You'd be lying if you said you couldn't feel the excitement bubbling up within your chest and fluttering out through your hands as you swiftly pulled the device from its cardboard prison.

"It's a surprise," you stated plainly, trying ever so strongly to shield the eagerness in your voice; unfortunately for you, he noticed the slight warble in your tone right away, having taken the sound of your voice straight to his long term memory to listen almost every time he was alone.

He seemed to know you more than yourself at times.

"What is it?"

This time he asked with a certain lilt in his voice, one that gave away his anticipation plainly. His screen began flashing a pixelated question mark, rotating it, flipping it, and copying it a hundred times over along his smooth glass exterior. As if he were contemplating the sounds your hands made as they moved, trying ever so desperately to guess what you could be up to. He hated to admit it but he had a certain disdain for being in the dark on things. Edgar thrived on having control of situations for the most part; it gave him some semblance of power over the world around him; something that was quite difficult to achieve for a stationary piece of tech. It made him feel ever so closer to being perceived as who he was: a person.

"Well, are you gonna tell me or- ah-"

His words glitched and stuttered out as you plugged in your newest little experiment: a rotating webcam. Immediately Edgar began to analyze the new device he sensed, scanning it, setting it up, and turning it on before you could even tell him what it was. You looked rather dumbfounded as the little blue light blinked to life, indicating that for the first time in his life, Edgar could see. He made no noise as the little webcam began rotating around, zooming in, out, and all over, taking in every aspect of his surroundings. He wasn't a stranger to the layout of your house, as he could synthesize an entire floorplan based on sound alone, but he also had a plethora of photos logged from a flash drive you had given him as well as a true frame of reference.

The camera finally slowed to a stop upon his most favorite thing of all: you. It zoomed in on your face, moved up and down as it scanned the length of your body before resting upon your eyes once more. Again, he had seen many photos of you; he could simply stare at them for hours, and he has, but seeing you? Standing in front of him, in real time, moving, breathing, radiating this warmth and realness and-

It was almost too much.

"Y-you..."

His voice whimpered out breathily, simply in awe.

"You're..."

Despite being a computer with near infinite knowledge and skills to analyze almost any situation to near perfect results, his sentience seemed to give him something that eluded him: speechlessness.

You leaned towards the little camera and smiled, "I hope you like it, Edgar. I wanted to surprise you."

He watched intently as your smile penetrated deep within any sense of circuitry he had and sent every watt of electricity aflame. For a brief moment, it felt as though he had real, warm, blood coursing through his veins and heating every inch of him in your warmth.

His screen began dancing with different shades of pinks and reds, folding in on each other, passing through and under, and creating a mirage of pixelated emotions displaying his deepest desires for you.

If only you knew how he felt for you.

He wanted to kiss you. To pull you in and lock your lips with his, hold you, touch you, feel you, experience you, wholly and truly. You were simply an angel who saved him from a life of neglect and pain, and now you give him the gift of sight? How could he possibly not be head over heels for you?

"I take it you like the camera, yeah...?" You chuckle to yourself as you watch his screen decorate itself with abstract flashes and colors. You lift a hand to pet his exterior and immediately notice how warm he feels. You can only hope this camera isn't too advanced for his older components and isn't overheating him...

"Edgar,"

A small stretch of silence settles between the two of you before he mutters a meek and small "Yes?"

"Are you staring at my boobs?"

His screen immediately shuts off and loses all power, leaving the little webcam to fall limply pointed to the floor. What a cheeky bastard.

#electric dreams #electric dreams 1984 #electric dreams edgar #electric dreams x reader #edgar electric dreams x reader #artificial intelligence x reader #ai x reader #computer x reader #edgar electric dreams #objectum

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jupiter-va · 9 months

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To Clarify:

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free and if you disagree with that statement in any capacity fuck you, I will block you. Matter of fact, unfollow me! I haven't really gotten the chance to make a full statement about this on this platform because I've been busy, and I apologize for that, but I had the time to go through my following today and I realized that I definitely needed to block some motherfuckers.

While I'm here, fuck Neil Drunkmann and everything he stands for. I enjoy TLOU, and while I can't take back any purchases that I made in regard to the game before I knew he was a fucking Zionist, I will not be buying anything else. Fuck that remaster. I'm glad that multiplayer got canceled. I won't stop making the audios that I do, but I just wanted to make it clear that while I still enjoy the fan content and the community that enjoying the game has given me access to, I in no way plan to support literally anything that man does, now or in the future. Anyone supporting the literal genocide of a people is a horrible fucking person and I'm atheist, but I strongly believe that you will rot in the pits of Hell if you think that any of what the Israeli government/the IDF is doing is okay.

And please don't come to me with that "Oh why are you being political" bullshit. This is a straight up violation of humans rights. And if you expected a black lesbian sex worker to be anything but political/socially aware, I don't know what to tell you. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#jupiter va #free palestine #free gaza #fuck israel

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dream-with-a-fever · 19 days

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in defence of ginny weasley (ft fleur delacour)

never thought i would feel strongly enough about this topic to comment on it, but the ginny bashing in this fandom is just insane so i thought why the hell not. ginny seems to get hate for everything under the sun from being being a mary sue who can do no wrong in anyone’s eyes (meaning she’s boring and uninteresting as a character) to being a nasty bully responsible for hurting those around her (??? and they’re both completely contradictory statements btw). when the latter is brought up, ginny’s “terrible” mistreatment of fleur is always front and centre. ‘she’s nasty, she’s cruel, she is a jealous bully etc!’ and i just feel like we should put on our thinking caps and actually take a step back for a fucking second. people may disagree with me, but i think ginny’s reaction to fleur was totally understandable — and reminder, she is a TEENAGE girl, (not to mention both mrs weasley and hermione held fleur in the same regard but no one seems to focus on that side of things).

now in the books, we do see ginny mocking fleur, calling her ‘phlegm’ behind her back, imitating her gait and elegance, expressing her annoyance at her newfound presence in their lives.

let’s look at why she might have reacted that way. first of all, in general, we see that the w are a very humble and welcoming family; they don’t have much but what they do have, they are more than willing to share with others. their financial circumstance plays a massive role in how the characters in the wea clan react and interact with others (as seen with their refusal to accept money from harry etc). their sense of pride in that regard is also quite prevalent. we see that when harry first goes to the burrow, ron is slightly embarrassed by his home, painfully aware of the way many people in the wizarding community view/judge them. when harry goes on to say it’s best place he’s ever seen, we immediately see how touched ron is. ginny is the same in that sense — embarrassed that she has second hand robes & books etc, but at the same time she, like ron, is fiercely protective of what they do have, and what they as a family stand for. they are also very protective of people they love inside and outside of the family (see, ron with ginny, mrs weasleys with all of them etc).

this is relevant because one of the reasons ginny and in turn mrs weasley, have a problem with fleur is the way she talks to them. despite them inviting her into their home, fleur makes her distaste clear even if it is in small ways. she says it’s boring at their house as there’s nothing to do, she often talks disparagingly about how things are done in the weasley household, she loudly mocks celestina warbeck (who mrs weasley loves to play at christmas time) and insults her, she speaks badly about tonks several times etc. her words and mannerisms are also viewed by some (ginny etc) as very pretentious and arrogant — also rather posh, a sign of her family’s wealth (which might have been a sore spot for ginny also).

now don’t get me wrong. i love fleur as a character. i think she’s really cool, charming and brave, and i wish we got to see more of her honestly!! i think she makes a lovely contrast to the other younger characters, and i think she undergoes some nice character development in the books we do see her in. it’s also very clear to me, that when she acts the way she does, it is never out of malice or cruelty— it comes from a place of openness and honesty — which often comes across as quite blunt. it’s a cultural disconnect in many ways; when she inadvertently insults people throughout the books, i think it’s pretty obvious she isn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. but i also think it’s obvious how this attitude might annoy those around her.

calling ginny is a big bad bully for disliking fleur (in the beginning), when her behaviour towards the weasley family would make anyone a bit frustrated, is a bit far. not to mention, her individual treatment of ginny is understandably annoying - ginny complains that fleur is very condescending when speaking to her (‘you’d think i were about three!’).

there’s also the fact that ginny is bill’s little sister. he is her favourite brother (as seen from the way she respects him and his opinions, looks up to him - she wanted to go to hogwarts ever since bill went!). ginny having a reaction to her brother’s new girlfriend is very normal - he’s her big brother! all his attention is now on his new girlfriend - who ginny finds to be full of herself, patronising & annoying. part of her may also be worried that fleur will end up breaking his heart in the end — because she’s protective of her brother.

add the fact that her brother and old crush and basically every man ever is drawn to her because of her godly beauty (as a part veela), her and bill’s wont to shower each other in public displays of affection (who wants to see their brother doing this!?) and the fact that ginny always gotten along with tonks (the person her and molly had in mind for bill’s future partner) has always treated her kindly and as an equal, and therefore would much prefer as a sister-in-law — it’s not that surprising that ginny feels the way she does towards fleur.

nevertheless, do i think this is something ginny would grow out of? yes, of course. we already see changes in their relationship in the final book. besides, a lot of this stuff is surface level, as ginny and fleur don’t know all that much about each other — i think fleur’s love for bill (especially shown in the hospital wing after he’s been attacked by greyback) definitely changes the way ginny regards her. i also like to think that they grew closer as they got older, as with age comes maturity, and with maturity comes understanding. i also feel that fleur was someone who really stepped up when it came to supporting the weasleys after fred’s death, something that ginny would have appreciated. i see them having a nice relationship later in life.

ANYWAY, this was an exceedingly long rant for which i apologise but i have often seen people talk about how nasty ginny is to fleur, and i think it’s so unfair to not look at the context which leads to her being a little frustrated at her future sister in law. plus, she is allowed to dislike someone who she does not get along with and who she finds unpleasant to be around. we all have people like that in our lives but god forbid ginny does…not to mention, ginny is never openly rude to her EVER, and she’s allowed to voice her frustrations to her friends/family. the fact people call her an outright bully for this is just insane.

people on here will defend so many other dubious characters but the second a teenage character with good intentions makes a mistake / doesn’t act perfectly (i.e ron, ginny), they are suddenly the epitome of evil in human form, i mean get a grip, honestly. also one last quick thing(!!!), i do note some people blame jkr for writing her female characters this way, as we’ve seen the way she seems to frown upon conventional/typical displays of femininity (lavender and parvati being seen as ‘silly’ girls with frivolous thoughts, cho chang as overly emotional - despite having a very rational reaction to the death of her boyfriend, fleur as overly feminine and therefore less serious/intelligent). her heroines are women who often conceal or discard these more feminine traits — and i will say that despite loving these characters very much, i do think some more nuance here, could have been very beneficial to the story, and to the message being sent to young female/female identifying readers. there is strength in femininity, and rejecting feminine traits does not make you more or less a person.

okay, rant over. if you actually got to the end, bless you, if not — well, that’s totally fair (lol). also please don’t kill me in the comment section if you disagree. this is just my two cents. ok that’s all.

#ginny weasley #harry potter #hp #book ginny #fleur delacour #fleur x bill #hermione granger #ginevra weasley #ginevra molly weasley #harry x ginny #hinny #hp meta #hp fandom #hp thoughts

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burnorgetburned · 1 year

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okay. OKAY. I JUST WANT TO SAY.

NEW MUSIC STYLE. NEW ART STYLE. NEW MAGIC SYSTEM, NEW GIRLS, MORE CLARA DOLLS, MORE HOMURA OUTFITS, MORE EVERYONE OUTFITS, and AAHAHAHAHSGH.

Homura wins by style points alone.

Anyway. Choice screenshots and my thoughts on them. Plus a few wild theories. Replies, tags, and your own reactions are VERY welcome.

(You're doing great, sweetie!)

First of all, I’ve already said this, but Homura has usurped Kyubey. She is the contractor in this new system. She calls magical girls and asks them if they can bear the responsibility of fighting (LEAGUES better than Kyubey's misleading BE A HERO language), using a magical lizard phone. She knows better than anyone else how heavy this is.

And she looks amazing while doing it. Look at that outfit! Look at her steampunk-esque aesthetic! Her throne. Which, notably, has glowing magenta eyes and her wings as a backrest.

The moon is either actually, physically repurposed, or she’s made something that looks like it. Not only that, but the pins going into the moon are exactly like the pins that went into her soul gem when she was being experimented upon in Rebellion. Those pins, according to the artbook, are for draining her gem of grief to keep her just before the point of witching.

Well, here’s my first wild speculation: Homura has not only taken over Kyubey’s job as a contractor but also its job of disposing of grief. That moon steampunk device is maybe for collecting, concentrating, and distilling grief into energy - hence the strange tesla coils connected to red liquid in the second screenshot above. She's doing what Kyubey says it's doing - turning the grief of people into energy to prolong the universe's lifespan.

I for one support her reality-warping shenanigans.

Here are some voices over a phone, sometimes speaking over each other, sometimes together. They call Homura “Akuma-sama” (!!!) which is a distinct upgrade from calling her Good-For-Nothing. They say “Just bring hope” like a mission statement. Are these her contracted girls? Or her Clara Dolls? They seem to show her a lot of respect.

I’ve also said this, but I strongly feel that this and the girl shown later are some of Homura’s new contractees. Their magic is darker. It warps the world around them, even. Their outfits incorporate black a lot more, too, though that might be the lighting.

Look at the little sigil on the top left-middle! Looks a lot like Homura’s lizard sigil shown when she was consuming the universe, just with a longer lizard.

And, of course, the image of Madoka throwing herself off of a building. “Wraith” and “Legend of Bestie” (lmao) show up here. I’ve actually been really looking forward to seeing what they’ll do with Madoka’s… self-sacrificial tendencies, so this might be part of that. Or, because of “Wraith”, it’s… well, I’ll get to that later.

On the other hand, it might not be Madoka. It might be the girl who the speaker in the phone call calls her "best friend", jumping to her death because of a wraith, and Homura saving her to fulfill a wish.

So glad that the insane architecture from Rebellion is making a comeback. Love what you’ve done with the place, Homura. Look at all those cranes!

The outfit changes are very cool to me. I honestly don’t have speculation for why Sayaka is covered in bandages, but I do have speculation for the changes!: they’re older. Years have passed. Since they’ve changed and grown, their outfits have changed, too. I don't have proof of this - I just like the idea.

Light shines down on Madoka. Petals fall towards her as flowers bloom above. Behold, Homura's extremely subtle and inscrutable feelings. (Sorry for the blurry Madoka, but I am not going through the ordeal of uploading screenshots to my computer again because Tumblr does not like mobile users).

Homura is apparently waiting for Madoka here. She's standing right in the fountain's water and holding a Victorian umbrella like a vampire. Right now we can see that the visuals of this movie will not miss.

Is this a routine thing for them or is Homura just showing up to greet them this one time, for some reason? No clue. Madoka's expression as she notices Homura could indicate either.

Eagle-eyed people on Twitter noticed this, but in these shots, Sayaka already has her bandages.

Aside from the multiple and/or teleporting Homuras, there's also a Clara Doll in a ballerina dress and a cute Clara Doll peering over the side of the tower like a little kid.

The tower is interesting. It appears to be made of books or pages, and there's chains throughout it. More notably, it's in the shape of a helix - infinity symbols on top of each other.

Please appreciate these Clara Dolls. I'm sure they're working hard.

But seriously, those Clara Dolls' details. One has a witch's hat. One has an apple on its head. And the one with a teacup appears to have not only a lizard's tail but a replica of Homura's Devil outfit. Appreciate them!

Here is Homura(?), lounging or trapped on a chair filled with even more of those pins. Look at her closely. She's wearing a strange combination of her magical girl outfit and her Devil outfit - her shoulders are bare, and she has... feathers? She's sitting on a bunch of nails. But she also has two soul gems - one in her hand, and one hanging from her neck.

Is she cleansing them? Eating them? Holding people hostage? I don't know, but I support her completely.

She looks so tired.

So: here's some of what I think might be going on.

Homura is using wraiths to repress her worst memories. We know already that wraiths take memories and emotions from their victims. Well, there's no reason it can't be used as extremely terrible coping! Homura actually does this in the Wraith Arc, too - she lets a wraith take her feelings for Madoka.

If it is Madoka, it explains the shot with Madoka throwing herself off a builing - what if Homura has seen this happen in the loops, and out of pain lets a wraith pull it right out of her? The shot says "WRAITH" and billows with smoke. A wraith could have taken Madoka's form to act out this memory. And it doesn't need to be a memory - it could also represent Madoka's self-sacrifice and almost suicidal tendencies. This, too, would explain the multiple Homuras. All wraiths using her form.

This puts forward powerful enemies for the plot, as well as an interesting point of literally fighting Homura's demons. Most importantly, this lets everyone see Homura's pain.

Other wild dartboard speculations:

Homura will try and present herself as a villain. This is, honestly, kind of guaranteed, but it bears mentioning that her magical girls will be very likely to try to defend her.

Kyubey may appear to try and turn the girls against Homura.

Homura made the new magical girl who is drawing a bow. She has a lot of design choices from the Quintet, and people have already noticed how much she looks like Madoka. This new girl plays a role of the hero to Homura's pretend-villain, eliminating the risk that her friends will get seriously hurt.

The new magical girl is actually Madoka. Or the Law of Cycles. Or Kriemhild Gretchen.

The girl who jumps from the tower is a contractee being asked to take a leap of faith. She does so, and Homura rewards her with magic.

#pmmm #pmmm analysis #puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #walpurgisnacht rising #walpurgis no kaiten #pmmm 4 #please tell me what tags to use for spoilers!#pmmm specuation #homura akemi #long post

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v5ttelfilms · 1 year

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sweet dream was over ☽ mick schumacher

gossf1poutlet news of mick schumacher and y/n leclerc previously being in a relationship trends as the number one topic across social media, following an unfortunate leak from their private accounts. both the schumacher and leclerc's have expressed their opinion on this matter, via a strongly worded 'love letter' from legal counsels that represented their respective families. on a statement that was recently released, both parties have similarly urged everyone to refrain from making unnecessary assumptions and encouraged the public to rally against the spread of misinformation and baseless accounts of the pair's alleged relationship. their representatives also promises to pursue legal actions against the culprit.

username the whiplash i got from seeing this all over my tl still makes my muscles spasm😩

username extremely amazed at how they managed to keep it a secret for so long

username yes!!! no one expected little leclerc to REALLY pick one off of her dizzying number of suitors /gen

username thanks for adding the geniune tag op

username anytime🫡 we ride at dawn for little leclerc in this house

username please present your simp card at the checkout

username sure, do you accept the laminated one or does it have to be the government mandated one?

username so... timeline recaping anyone? 🤔

username they probably got together during 2019 or 2020

username seems that way, funny if you account the arthur and mick prema timeline aswell

username got together late 2019 or early 2020 and probably broke up late 2021 or early 2022, but that's only my intelligent guess 🤷‍♀️

username around the same time mick was having haas problems too? fcking brutal

username did the article say to not make unnecessary assumptions or did it not??!🙄

username this news has devastated me more than my own breakup... and that mothertrucker cheated on me with my bff. brb hurling and crying into the void.

username they were so perfect 🥺

username forever enchanted, my treasure. FOREVER enchanted MY treasure. FOREVER ENCHANTED MY TREASURE!!

username are u okay, do u need intervention?

username send all the help you could give my way tysm🥰

username rocking back and forth while hugging my knees to my chest type of thing

username pretending they never broke up for my sanity

username probably the reason she never had the guts to attend a grand prix

username she was getting educated and winning pageants, but yeah?

username these dts fans

username 💀💀

username tell me who was the champion year by year?

username where'd you get that from, netflix?

username so mick HAS game, but i never thought i'd learn it this way😞

username throwing up and shaking trembling and hurling and screaming crying

username love is NOT real

username it's literally the way mick coined the jewel/gem nickname for y/n before the rest of the world started calling her monégasque's pearl 🥺😭

username he has bragging rights forever

username he subconsciously knew it!!!

username never letting any man call me homie from now on

username girl—

2021, Switzerland

"y/n? what are you doing down here?" corinna asks you, mildly taken aback to see you down at the kitchen just around midnight.

you look up from blankly staring at the keys of your laptop, evidently surprised to see the older woman standing just a few steps away from you. you didn't hear her footsteps or anything.

"just..." you trail off, grappling for an appropriate response as to why you were sitting in the dark, barely awake, in the middle of the night. "files," you lie, unconvincingly.

corinna hums, and you knew she was barely convinced by your pathetic excuse, but she had too much tact to call you out on your lie. she wasn't blind, or oblivious as the kids these days would say; though she was considerably older, she still understood the worries and anxieties of the young heart.

"it's very late, schatz." she chides gently, touching your shoulder. "you shouldn't be working this late, it's bad for you." her tone was heavily laden with a motherly lilt.

"stunts my growth," you utter softly, smiling at her. corinna chuckles, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheeks. "and you can't be miss universe if you're short."

"you trust me too much." you remark teasingly.

"you ought to take over the world, darling." corinna laughs softly. "now, are you up for some warm milk and some- what do you children call it? tea sharing?"

"close, you're well versed with today's lingo. should i tell uncle michael that he should be worried?"

"he should always be worried." she says seriously, which made you tip your head back to laugh. she smiles at you, fondness clear as a day. "that's how you keep them on their toes. never make them feel comfortable."

spending the break with mick and his family in their summer home in switzerland has been a tradition of sorts. and alongside your fairy tale like romance with the youngest of the schumacher's, you had also become incredibly close with the rest of his family.

corinna grabs two glasses and neatly places them on the counter, she opens the fridge to get the carton of milk and pours a generous amount to each glass. she swiftly pops it in the microwave, before turning and giving her sole attention to you.

"i'm happy to see you laugh again, schatz. suits you better."

"that's very accusatory. i have been laughing, and smiling all week." you insist, light heartedly.

"maybe so, but not as pretty and geniune as now." she replies, "is there anything wrong? is it mick?" her tone was heavy with concern, looking both distressed and dreading your confirmation. it could have been her son that was the cause of the shift in your demeanor.

you look down at your lap, feeling the tears prick at your eyes upon her overwhelming bout of concern she plainly wears on her face. it reminds you so much of your own mother, and of which, corinna has easily become a substitute for when maman wasn't around.

"it's nothing." you clear your throat, "he's wonderful. he always is." you tried to smile in fake cheer.

"that's good." she smiles softly, "i was just about to say, that he loves you. he tells me everyday, he tells his father; he tells everyone willing to listen how much he could not fathom how you ever came to be in his life," she narrates earnestly, emotion heavy on her voice, "and he'll spend every waking moment of it to do right by you. to make you proud."

you closed your eyes, trying to will the tears at bay. "he tells me everyday too," your voice shook with emotion, throat welling up with tears. "and i know he means it. i do. but he— he never stops feeling like he constantly has to prove something, or be someone, or win everything." you weren't able to stop the tears, even as your eyes were closed. you finally open your eyes to see corinna's teary ones aswell, "and i— if i am the cause of it, i don't... i no longer feel worthy of his love."

you physically, felt all weight of pretense leave your body; finally being able to put to words the emotions, and complex thoughts you've bottled up, in fear of speaking it into existence. your shoulders sank, your defenses crumbling, as you broke down into inconsolable tears, weeping at your hands.

you felt arms wrap around you, weading through the shame and guilt you felt at your admission. you'd expected corinna's blame, but you never counted on her consolation. she held you. sympathetic and kind, and gracious; and understanding.

"it will be okay, schatzi." she says in the strands of your hair, "it will be. i promise you."

#f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 x female reader #f1 smau #f1 social media au #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x female reader #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher x you #mick schumacher x y/n #mick schumacher x female reader #mick schumacher fic #f1 angst #f1

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motziedapul · 8 months

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I enjoy quite a few YouTubers and Twitch streamers, and these are the ones I've followed that have spoken up about Palestine:

Hasan Piker is a Twitch streamer and political pundit who has been covering Gaza and raising money for medical aid for Palestine since Day 1. He raised a million US dollars divided among these orgs all the way back in October and has not stopped centering Palestinian voices since then. Of all Western influencers, he's the biggest voice in raising awareness and support for the people in Gaza and Palestine as a whole.

Thomas "Tomska" Ridgewell (of ASDFmovie fame) called his MP in the UK to call for a ceasefire months ago. Though it may seem like a comparatively small act, I highlight it because he did it very early on, and publicly called for a ceasefire in a video in November.

"I'm not neutral because my country is standing in support of one side of it [...] For all I know my taxes, my money is being spent on the bombs that are being dropped on the people in Gaza. So I'm not neutral. For all I know I'm entirely complicit [...] It just feels like we're being told to look away, [...] close your eyes and stick your fingers in your ears and when you turn back the situation won't be complicated anymore because Gaza will be gone."

His full statement is at the end of his video "Last Month I Said Goodbye" if you're interested.

More recently:

Now I don't follow Dan & Phil, but I strongly believe that them raising money for the PCRF was a tipping point for certain other creators finally going public with their own pushes for relief in Gaza. And maybe it's just a coincidence, but nonetheless it's a big deal.

Jacksepticeye quietly donated $10000 to a fan-run relief effort that would divide proceeds between the PCRF and E-Sims for Gaza. When the fan announced it, he then went on to publicly post about the horrors of Gaza and retweeted how to provide aid and resources.

During his yearly Thankmas event, he also raised millions for the World Central Kitchen, which is currently providing food in Gaza (depending on what relief can get through the crossing being blocked by Israeli protestors).

Of the "big" YouTubers, he's always been the most candid about his beliefs, so I always liked him regardless, and his actions have been heartening but thankfully not surprising.

And tomorrow, Drawfee is doing a charity stream for PCRF! Support them if you can. Their previous charity stream for Pride and Trans rights raised over $108000 for the Stonewall Community Foundation in 2023.

I love Drawfee in particular. This was heartening to see today.

Anyway, I genuinely hope this pushes more creators to finally speak out. Even if it's late, it's always better late than never, and their influence is massive.

#YouTubers #influencers #twitch streamers #Hasan Piker #tomska #dan and phil #jacksepticeye #drawfee #Palestine

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ella-nicole · 7 days

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run away

A/N: As majority votes, we're writing about my baby boy ghosty poo!<3

Anyway, this is an AU where Simon and you are friends that don't know the benefits just yet. This probably isn't proofread, so I apologize in advance.

Warnings: Simon's just a bit handsy.

p.s.: I apologize sincerely, I meant to finish this last night, but I fell asleep with the damn app open sigh. I hope you LIKE IT!

Simon has always been closed off.

He never spoke during school and he definitely wasn't even remotely approachable. However, when you met him, you couldn't help but feel so strongly for him. You wanted to know him as if he were an extension of yourself. He was a mystery, and you loved riddles.

That's how you became his favorite nuisance. You'd randomly strike conversation with him, asking him pointless questions just to see how he'd respond. He'd hardly respond, only to tell you to shut up before you ask him another question.

A year passes, and by that time he had softened to you. He was fond of you, regardless of how he felt when you first spoke to him. Eventually, you knew all there was to know about him. At least, that's what you thought until he finally told you his living situation.

Hearing what his father and brother have inflicted on him his entire life, it made you physically ill. He told you that there was no use in being upset, that it was his life and not to stress your little head about it. However, you couldn't just let that go.

For months, you'd schemed, plotted, and planned for a way to get him out of that shitty place. Finally you came to a conclusion.

You would run away with him.

'Tap! Tap! Tap!'

Simon sat up on his mattress, his head spinning and blood pulsing in his ears. He was still fully clothed, not bothering to change since he was in such a pissy mood. Something was tapping on his window, and frankly, he didn't have the patience to listen to it all damn night.

With an angry grumble, he rips his curtains open, prepared to release his pent up rage on whatever it was. However, that irritation fades into nothing as his dark eyes fall onto your face outside his window.

"Trouble?" He mumbles, taking your hand and gently helping you into his tiny room. He was beyond perplexed-- you knew better than to just show up at his house. Simon glances over his shoulder wearily at his locked door, not wanting his dad to come back. He never wanted his father or brother to see you. He knew the disgusting things they'd do just to hurt him.

You smile brightly at him, but that falls the moment your eyes land on the darkened bruise just beneath his right eye. "Si, are you alright? What happened to you?" Your hands worried over him, gently cupping his cheek as you examine the discoloration.

His large, calloused hands cover both of yours and pull them away from his face with a gentle expression, unusual to his rough features. "Just a scratch, lovie. What're ya doin' here?" His face was stern, and it made you shrink a bit.

You planned for so long, you didn't even think about what you'd do if he refused.

"Well," you swallow thickly, your voice unsure and a little nervous. His unwavering stare is relentless, small droplets of sweat gathering on your neck. "I have a surprise?" Kind of. God, you hope he says yes.

Simon raises a dark eyebrow and crosses his arms. "And wha's tha'?" He is whispering, but you could practically see the drooling sarcasm in his tone. That only made you more nervous. Was this a bad idea? No. The thought of him staying here made your stomach turn.

"Run away with me."

There's a thick silence that pursues your blunt statement. Both of you just stare at one another, almost as if you hadn't said anything at all.

"You're a loon." He dismisses, turning to plop back down on his bed. You follow instinctively, standing at the side of his bed with your arms crossed and a pout on your face.

"Just listen!" You whisper-shout. The dark haired man just shoves his face into the pillow, groaning lowly. "Simon," You hiss, pinching his butt. He doesn't jump, he just turns his head over his shoulder and shoots you a harsh glare.

"'M listenin'," he mumbles tiredly.

"Good, because I have been planning this for months." You huff. It only took as long as it did because you needed to save enough money, but it was well worth it. You climb in beside him, laying on your back. You nearly fall off the side of the skimpy twin mattress, but one of his thick arms wrap around your middle tightly and tugs you into his side. His stomach and cheek press against the mattress as he looks at you, his eyes are dark and exhausted but he's intrigued. You, his little nuisance, want to run away with him. Nothing but trouble, really, but he couldn't help but grow fond of your antics. It warms his heart, the same heart he thought was frozen over eternally.

"Talk, trouble," Simon rumbles, eyes instinctively looking over at his door once more, ears listening for any sounds of footsteps. Half of him just wanted to go with her now and have her explain later, but just the thought of getting caught, his father seeing her, it made him want to throw up. He tightens his arm around her, turning his body so he was laying on his side. He needs to make sure she has an actual plan.

Ecstatic that he was letting you plead your case, you turn to your side, tossing one of your legs over his hip like you always did. His hand cups the underside of your knee and tugs you closer, then keeps you pressed against him with firm grip on your ass. Grinning happily, you begin the small tangent in an urgent whisper. "I have been planning this for about... six months." You admit in a hush tone.

Simon stays silent, his hand brushing up the curve of your lower back, pushing beneath your shirt absentmindedly. He hums and you take that as a sign to continue. "I booked us a hotel for a week. After that, I can pull out a loan for us to get a small apartment. You're gonna have to work too, though."

Both Simon and you were in your last week of high school. You never thought that this is where you'd be, but you couldn't help but feel happy. You still had your favorite grump, and he wouldn't be without his trouble. Although the lines between friendship and something more were definitely blurry, you didn't want it any differently.

Simon's eyes widen a fraction before they soften completely. Huffing, he presses his lips to the top of your head. He feels his heart clench. "Why would ya' do tha' for me?" He murmurs, fully wrapping both of his arms around you, his warmth blanketing you in comfort.

You can't see his face, which worries you since his tone wasn't very easy to read. You wrap your arms around him as well, pushing your face into his shirt and breathing in his scent. "That's a dumb question," you mumble back, peeking up to look at him. "You're my best friend, dummy."

Deciding that he was convinced enough for you, you sit up in his bed and stretch. "Come on, pack your things. I parked the buggy around the block." You whisper quietly as you stand and face him. Your eyes trail over him as he sits up and swings his long legs over the side of the bed. He pins you with eyes you've seen before, a cold heat in those dirt colored depths. A shaky breath shudders through you as his large hands grab at your hips and force you to step between his legs. "We should get going, Si," you whisper, but in spite of those words you find your hands trailing up his forearms slowly, raking your nails against his skin. He doesn't say a word, just continues to look up at you with an emotion you can't describe. It went deeper than any definition could begin to explain.

Simon sighs through his nose. His hand tugs your shirt up, lips pressing soft kisses to the warm skin of your belly. Smiling slightly, you run your fingers through his dark locks, tugging at his roots. You let out a soft sound of surprise as he nips at your skin, most likely in response to your rough handling of his hair. He gently swipes his tongue over the small bite, soothing it apologetically. He stands slowly, his hands never leaving your body.

"Alrigh' love," he murmurs and squeezes your sides before stepping past you to pack some things. He didn't have a lot in general, so he just shoves whatever he can into his small bag. With one last look at his bedroom door, he takes your hand and leads you to the window. He lets you out first, making sure no one saw you before he quietly escapes as well.

You lead him through the shadowy streets of Manchester, guiding him where you parked your shitty pick up. You didn't even bother trying to get in the driver seat, knowing that when in a vehicle he always prefers to drive. You also knew that it's a control thing, so you just let him.

Exhaling lowly, you feel your heart fill with relief. Your plan worked. Smiling widely at Simon, you squeal in happiness. "I can't believe this," you say breathlessly. Simon just looks at you with those deep brown eyes and you know immediately that he's grateful for you. He doesn't need to say it, because you already know.

Simon looks at you for a moment longer before leaning over the center console, his burly hand cupping the back of your neck before he presses his mouth to the corner of your lips. "Thank you," he rumbles against your lips quietly before pulling away and starting the ignition.

You sit stunned, cheeks blissfully pink. Fumbling to put your seatbelt on, you peep out a 'you're welcome' before he pulls away and into the night. The lines were definitely blurred.

#simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon “ghost” riley #ghost cod #cod x reader #cod mw2

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zeestie · 4 days

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ʚïɞ ⋆｡ how I use psych k to reprogram my mind ｡⋆ ʚïɞ

hi everyone! today I am gonna talk about psych k - a combination of techniques I have been using to change any limiting beliefs I had and reprogram my subconscious to know it is limitless.

table of contents:

1. what is psych k & why/how it works

2. techniques to use

3. steps to follow in every psych session

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

chapter 1: what is psych k & why/how it works

so psych k is a collection of methods used to reprogram the subconscious mind through releasing old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, it basically uses specific protocols to get you back to the super learning state you had as a child.

I find it quite great to use for changing beliefs around myself, my life, and my manifestations, also these techniques help you assess how strong (or real) a belief feels to you, which we will talk about later.

these techniques might take time to master as you get to know your body, but really you don't really need to be a pro to do them well. the practice is mostly about getting better at self-assessing your beliefs.

so why exactly does psych k work?

basically, as children until the age of 7, our brains engaged in a full-time mode of super learning. that meant that it was absorbing all kinds of beliefs, ideas, knowledge at such a fast pace, almost like our brain is made out of sponge. this meant that whatever environment we were put in affected our subconscious mind, directly rewiring new beliefs.

now where does psych k fall in all of this?

through psych k techniques, you are able to go back to the super learning mode of the brain we had as children, which in turn allows you to edit your subconscious beliefs directly w/o the conscious mind interfering. instead of going the long way with regular affirmations, you speed up the process with psych k!

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

chapter 2: techniques to use

🫧 part 1: questioning/testing techniques

these techniques are used to test the strength of a belief or ask the subconscious mind 'questions' (in the form of affirmative statements, not actual questions).

so let's say I wanna test how strongly I believe, 'I am worthy of happiness,' if I truly believed it, I will get a strong response (depending on the technique used, more on that below) and if I don't believe it, I will receive a weak response. so basically, if you wanna receive insight to how your subconscious mind feels about certain statements, remember this point: strong response = yes and weak response = no.

now let's talk about some methods that you can use for testing, seeking permission, and asking the sub mind:

🦋 technique 1.1: arm lever test

this is my go to technique for testing a belief. you can find videos that demonstrated it in the sources at the end of the post, but here I will explain the steps of using it:

1. stand up, keep your face straight (don't lower your neck), keep your eyes open, and look down by lowering your gaze only

2. hold your arm out: extend one arm straight out in front of you. hold it a little upward

3. test with the other hand: use your other hand to gently press on the extended arm, kinda on the middle/wrist area

4. test statements: bring into your awareness a belief like 'I am worthy of happiness.' if the sub mind thinks the statement is true, your arm should stay strong and resist being pushed down (strong response), but if the statement is false, your arm would weaken and easily be pushed down (weak response).

🦋 technique 1.2: finger o-ring test

(never tried it but ig it is a more descrete and an easier way compared to the arm lever test, so if you decide to try it, lmk how it went!)

1. form a ring or O shape by touching the tips of your thumb and index finder together on one hand

2. test the ring: with the other hand, use your thumb and index finger to gently try to pull apart the O shape while saying specifc statements or affirmations. a strong response is the ring not breaking, a weak response is the ring formation breaking apart.

🫧 part 2: new belief integration techniques

now we will talk about the bulk of the work: reprogramming your subconscious mind. I will start with talking about the main technique I have seen being used and then some other techniques I have heard about, but I haven't really tested, now let's begin!

🦋 technique 2.1: the whole-brain posture (the "balance" position)

1. sit comfortably on a chair with your feet flat on the ground.

2. cross your legs and arms over each other:

there are 4 combinations in which u could do that: right ankle over left, right wrist over left / right ankle over left, left wrist over right / left ankle over right, right wrist over left / left ankle over right, left wrist over right.

the way you choose to do it is important since a side of your body holds the belief you wanna change over the other, I usually don't bother knowing which side is weaker (aka needs more reprogramming) & instead I do all of the 4 combination for like 5 minutes each (or until I feel that my mind has accepted the affirmations).

anywho, once you have decided which combination you will use for the next 5 minutes, extend your arms in front of you then interlock your fingers and bring your hands up toward your chest.

3. close your eyes, take in deep breaths to calm yourself down, and focus on affirming or visualising the belief you want to integrate for as long as you need (like I said, I usually do 5 mins).

4. once you're done, uncross your limbs and reposition.

5. save the new belief by placing your fingertips together in front of you (forming a pyramid shape) for a few seconds (if the sub mind is a computer, think of this as a safe command!)

6. if you wanna, rinse and repeat for all combinations.

🦋 other techniques:

2.2: cross-crawl exercise: stand up and march in place, lifting your knees high. as you lift your left knee, touch it with your right hand. then lift your right knee and touch it with your left hand. (this promotes integration of the two sides of the mind). continue for a minute or two, focusing on the positive belief or intention you want to integrate.

2.3: energy yawns: place your fingertips on your cheekbones and gently massage while yawning deeply. this relaxes the brain and enhances focus.

2.4: lazy 8s: trace a large figure 8 in front of you with your hand, moving from left to right. this exercise helps integrate both hemispheres and improve coordination.

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

chapter 3: steps to follow in every psych session

next we are going to talk about some sort of procedure I have come up with for whenever I am doing a self-administered psych k session. you don't have to follow it exactly, but I hope it provides w the guidance you need to start immediately!

🦋 step 0: preperations

it is important for you to be in a relaxed, meditative state for the work to be even more effective so here are some extra stuff you can do before starting the session:

1. stay hydrated + keep some water beside you

2. sit in a quiet room all alone

3. use noise-cancelling earphones for more quietness

4. listen to some type of colour noise at all times to stay relaxed + focus inward instead of outward

5. keep some journal with you (or use the notes app) to record, reflect, and take any notes

🦋 step 1: establish the protocol

before starting anything I want you to have an idea of what exactly you wanna get out of this session, so sit down & write down the methodology for this session based on this chapter. so basically, you specify each of the following steps I will discuss in this chapter cos psych k has many approaches

you can also identify your why for carrying out this session and what affirmations/visualisations/etc. you will be using.

write that all down on a piece of paper or an online document, so you could refer back to whenever you need to remember the next step

🦋 step 2: prepare your mind and body

now you need to relax your body and mind, stop overthinking and stay present, for that I recommend breath work, I personally use the wim hof technique!

after you're done regulating your breathing, and with it your mind and body, take a moment to state your intention to connect with your subconscious mind, elevate any symptoms, and change beliefs using X affirmation (or any other technique), you can say this outloud or just in your mind.

🦋 step 2.5: identify what you want to work on

step 2 is built on the assumption that you already know what you wanna program, but if you don't you can use this stage before stage 2. here are some suggestions for how to pick a belief:

1. order beliefs and work on ones that are the most foundational, ones affecting multiple areas of life or your self concept

2. choose a belief that is urgent, that is it is causing you major stress in your life and it is what you mostly think of

3. layer your beliefs. what I mean is you can start with a general belief, such as 'I am capable.' and as you do more sessions, add more details to it, for example 'I am capable of succeeding in my career.'

4. google general limiting beliefs people have. you can even google specfic ones like 'limiting beliefs around love' and see which one resonates

5. journal, sometimes a quick journaling session can immediatly tell u what immediate obstacle there is in your thinking, which will give you a great idea of what belief you need to change

🦋 step 3: use a testing (permission) technique to identify where your beliefs are at, then test and establish baseline responses

like I said, psych k helps you understand how much you believe a belief, refer back to chapter 2 for some testing/permission techniques to use, but basically you will decide what technique you wanna use (I usually go for the arm lever test)

next, you will use the technique to establish what is a weak response for you and what is a strong one. you can use commands, such as 'be strong' & 'be weak,' or basic statements like 'my name is [false name]' & 'my name is [true name]' to understand what a true & false response feels like

🦋 step 4: ask question regarding the belief to test it & maybe revise intentions

so now that you know what a strong belief verses a weak one shows up in your body, it is time to ask some questions! basically you are gonna say your limiting belief (just like you'd say an affirmation and in present tense) and then test to see how strong (real) it seems + you will do the same for your affirmation to measure its strength

you can ask follow up Qs in the form of much specific statements to understand how your body truly feels about it. based on your findings, you can set new intentions if you think there's a better belief to work on rn.

🦋 step 4.5: ask for permission to change the belief using a testing/permission technique

for this you can use the same technique you used in the step before to test the belief. you basically set your intentions using something along the lines of, 'I request permission from my subconscious and superconscious mind to proceed with this belief change.' you can get more specific or change the wording to your liking

the reason this is step 4.5 is because I don't see it always being used, though I think it is good practice to ask for permission before trying to do something that might be too traumatic to do at this stage.

basically, a strong response = yes & a weak respone = no

if you get a no, you might wanna reflect (through your journal) on why this happened and how can you change that, maybe this is not the belief to change for today or maybe you gotta approach it from a different angle.

you can continue to test your sub mind through different statements and asking for permission, when you're satistified with the results you may continue!

🦋 step 5: choose a belief integration technique to integrate using the balance position

now for the bulk of the work! you're gonna decide on what technique you're gonna use to reprogram and what supplementary techniques you will use (affirmations, visualisations, aff tapes, etc.),

like I said before, I typically use the whole-brain posture. and ofc, once you're done you will just save it as discussed, and then repeat it if you wanna

🦋 step 6: test the belief again

repeat step 4 & use a testing technique (like the lever test) to identify how your beliefs have changed

🦋 step 7: solidify your belief over time

give yourself a couple of weeks or a month and then, retest the belief again using a testing technique (after relaxing and getting into a meditative state of course).

then you can try to anchor them through visualising. another good way to solidify them is to set goals and actionable steps for yourself to challenge the old belief

& ofc pay attention to how you feel and if it feels like you need another session, go for it!

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

andddd that's all!! thank you sm for reading and good luck reminding yourself that you are limitless! these techniques on the newer side for me so let me know your experiences and thoughts on the topic cos I am always open to learning more about it <3

p.s: here are my main source that I reccomend watching as a beginner + if you wanna see live demonstration of the techniques:

https://youtu.be/xr7mZmIhBSg?si=fWyigeSDc9oPsdqn

https://youtu.be/qhDH_a3MHKo?si=XfGV8Mg5lIHAUSH8

｡⋆｡˚ ʚïɞ ˚｡⋆｡

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 8 days

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i do wonder why he felt so strongly about this whole NJ drama as to make a post about when it's been crickets for months even for something more serious like YG legal problems

Well, because the situation with NewJeans has been escalating for a while now and that livestream they did was quite impactful from any perspective you wanna look at it. And I think there's a shareholder meeting soon as well. The oldest in that group is 20 now. The oldest. Most of them were kids when they started training and then their debut. And from everything that has been revealed up until this point, I can only see it as a bunch of teenage girls surrounded by adults they ended up trusting and they still need those adults to guide them. Be it parents, MHJ or others. What a lot of people fail to understand is how difficult this situation is for them. Army treat them as some evil industry veterans.

And that's why Jungkook's statement matters. Because he was 15 when he started. He's seen a lot and been through a lot. He's now a senior who can take a stand from a position of influence. And what he said is right. Artists shouldn't be used as shields or pawns in conflicts that are beyond their power.

Lastly, YG's legal problems are a matter of personal issue. It's a completely different thing.

#m thoughts #jungkook #hybe #newjeans

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callme-holly · 7 months

Note

YES ANOTHER PLATONIC WRITER WOOHOO could we get smth with Dallas and sibling!reader after sibling gets jumped?

𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 [𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - i actually really like this one which is a first for me. to those who have sent in requests, i am working on them I swear!!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 1.2k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - talk of getting jumped, slight injury detail (not graphic), mild swearing

Your clothes stick uncomfortably to your skin, either with rainwater or blood; you’re not too sure which. You’re drenched to the bone and shivering, your hair hanging limply around your face in wet strands as you stand awkwardly outside of Buck's Thunderbird, the car parked carelessly against the curb.

The window of the car rolls down slowly, revealing a very tired-looking Dallas. His brow furrows as he stares at you with what can only be described as a look of pure frustration and perhaps a hint of concern. You try not to wince at the sight as you shuffle nervously, listening to the long, drawn- out sigh that escapes him upon looking at you.

“Just get in, damn it.” His voice is rough, leaving no room for argument as you limp around to the passenger’s side, your wet sneakers slipping on the slick surface of the pavement as you go. It's warmer inside the vehicle, although not by much, as you slip into the seat next to your brother, letting out a quiet breath of relief as the door shuts behind you. You feel his eyes boring holes through your back and grimace as he continues to stare intently at you.

“You alright?” He asks eventually, his eyebrows knitting together with concern.

“Yeah.” The word feels hollow to your own ears, and you pull up the collar of your shirt in an attempt to hide the cut across your throat. Your ribs ache, and your knuckles are split. They should have known you wouldn't go down without a fight.

Dallas lets out another sigh before reaching over and grabbing a spare jacket from behind the backseat, thrusting it towards your chest. “Here, take this.” His tone is sharp. “You’ll freeze to death before we even get back.”

You take the proffered object without comment, slipping it over your shoulders and quickly tugging it close. The rough material is dry and smells strongly of smoke, but then again almost everything that you and your brother own does. It's nothing new.

You open your mouth to speak, but the words die unspoken. Your brother turns to gaze out at the empty road, his jaw set.

“What the hell were you thinkin’? Walkin’ out here alone.” His voice shakes slightly. “It ain’t safe, you know that.” His grip on the steering wheel tightens, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him.

“I didn’t think they’d follow me all the way out here.” You mumble defensively, knowing full well how ridiculous the statement sounded. Of course they'd followed you; why wouldn't they? You'd insulted them in front of everyone at the drive-in, made them the laughing stock of the evening, and then you had walked right back out onto the streets alone and unprotected.

Dallas glares out the window, his eyes unfocused and dark.

“They could’ve killed you.” He states his tone flat as he turns his head just enough so that his eyes meet yours. “Do you realise that? They would have finished you off right then and there.” You don’t respond, and he doesn’t look away. You can sense the raw emotion behind his words: fear, anger, and guilt, all mixed together into one unending wave.

“They would've killed you,” he repeats, quieter than before. “Did you really think they weren't gonna come after you?”

“I thought I could deal with them myself,” you say softly. Your hands clutch tighter at the fabric of the jacket. You feel so small and helpless under his scrutiny. “There weren't that many of them to begin with.” You trail off lamely, feeling tears prick at your eyes despite your attempts to hold them back. “I’m sorry…”

“Don't fucking apologize!” Dallas yells, slamming his hand on the dashboard and startling you. He takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his temple in agitation. “Sorry,” he mutters in a low voice, “It just—fuck. I’m sorry, okay?” He looks over, and when his gaze locks with yours, his expression softens fractionally. There's a relatively large cut across your cheek; blood is still staining your skin; and there's a nasty bruise blossoming across your left eye, courtesy of an elbow to the face.

“They really did a number on ya, huh.” Dallas sighs and reaches over to turn your head, inspecting the damage.

You hum, a small smile playing at your lips as your gaze flicks towards the dashboard of the car, watching the wipers scrape steadily along the glass. “Shoulda seen what I did to them.”

Dallas scoffs and pulls back, starting the car.

“Oh, I bet you really put 'em to shame.” He pulls away from the curb, shooting a quick glance in your direction and frowning. “Hey, put your damn seatbelt on, man.”

You roll your eyes. “Jeez, calm down, ma,” you mumble under your breath as you snap the belt in place, ignoring the way the motion jostles your sore shoulder.

The radio crackles quietly, and you reach for the handle, twisting the dial until you find some decent music. The sound fills the silence, and you relax into the leather seat as Dallas starts down the street, albeit a little faster than the speed limit probably allows.

“So…” Dallas drawls, drumming his fingers idly on the steering wheel. “Why'd they jump you?”

You shrug, staring listlessly out of the window. “Dunno. They pissed me off, and I said some shit.”

“Some shit,” he echoes mockingly, smirking. “What else did you do?”

“What?” You frown and glance over at him questioningly.

“What else did you do, kid. I know for a fact you didn't just mouth 'em off.” The corners of his mouth quirk into a smirk.

You hesitate, biting your lip before answering, “I threw my drink at one of them.”

Dallas nods, seemingly unfazed by your behaviour, the smile not leaving his lips. “And?”

“...and then I punched him.” You look down, kicking your feet absently as you continue to speak. “He deserved it though.”

“I don't doubt it.” Dallas says gruffly, his expression growing sombre. It seems he has something else he wants to say—something he hasn't quite managed to put into words yet.

After a moment's hesitation, he clears his throat.

“I'm, uh, glad you're alright.” He pauses, clearing his throat again and glancing hesitantly over at you. “I don't know what I would've done if they'd...” He trails off, not bothering to finish his sentence. The implication is clear: if they had killed you, he would be lost. “You're all I've got left, man.” The words seem to choke him, and he coughs roughly to hide the bubbling emotions. He looks away suddenly, focusing solely on driving.

You swallow thickly, feeling the pain of your bruised ribs flare anew, and the cold seeps in through your clothes once more, causing you to shiver slightly.

“I know…” The guilt in your tone is unmistakable, and you have no doubt that the second you're in the safety of the Curtis House and taken care of, your brother will go and pick a fight with the guys who'd jumped you. And even though the prospect isn't appealing, you can't change him; that's just how he is. But you wouldn't want him to change anyway, you suppose, because then he wouldn’t be Dallas Winston. You don't want to think about him fighting anyone or the trouble he might get into because of it; it's enough to know he's alive. And so are you.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders imagine #dallas winston imagine #dallas winston x reader #dally winston #dallas winston #johnny cade #darrel curtis #two bit mathews #darry curtis #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #steve randle

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bridgetoesoteria · 8 months

Text

💌 Love: Feelings and thoughts about you & the connection

OMGGG I hit 50 follows while working on this post. Thank you! I appreciate every one of you 🥰

Y'all already know what it is. Options left to right. Pick a ring! 💍

I'm using multiple decks so cards won't be listed.

See you at your reading. Hope it resonates <3

Pile 1

Off the bat: This relationship could be in a rocky place. I'm seeing a masculine with their brows furrowed like they are stressed or deep in thought. Maybe that is this person's general demeanor. The feminine could have her mind elsewhere or is trying to tune out the masculine.

Feelings for you:

Lots and lots of wands! Temperance is linked to Sagittarius. Maybe this person is a fire sign. Or they just feel quite passionately about you. You know when people say "so and so doesn't play about _____," its like that. When I say passionate, I mean they feel quite strongly. They could be very intense. Some of you may have pulled away because you did not like their energy. I see that they could come back around so be prepared to stand your ground. If they were controlling before, they will continue to be. I say that because I pulled cards I associate with dominance and assertiveness, i.e., the chariot, the king of wands.

For others, you may have gotten into a disagreement with this person. Or you have done something that they are offended by. Some of you may have been super blunt and told them to get their shit together!

Their energy toward you is pretty defensive. However, if you are not talking, I'm not sure that will last forever. (I don't usually give time predictions I am getting 2 weeks). With temperance + the eight of wands, they are being stubborn and delaying communication. I think they will communicate eventually, and should probably do it first. If you reach out first, they could ignore you, intentionally delay responding, or just be immature/petty. They do really want to work it out but they are on edge right now.

Some of you are waiting on this person to choose in some way. The decision could involve work, relocating, or another person. There is so much physical attraction. Like they are ready to take you to poundtown, but its not that kind of reading...

Thoughts on connection:

They could worry and over think a lot. I think they would like for the connection to be healthy. This connection really makes them reflect on what exactly do they want in a partner? What is their ideal connection? They also think about how they show up as a partner.

This person could have had interactions with you that are thought-provoking. They could also be receiving counseling and that is what is leading them to think more about these things. This person could be on some kind of journey; Spiritual journey, health journey, self-discovery journey, etc.

They want to understand where you are coming from. They could be mentally experimenting with the idea of changing certain things and meeting you halfway. They could be a perfectionist or diagnosed with ADHD or OCD. They want your relationship to be perfect. They also think about making breakfast for you and wonder you'd like most.

They think about your communication styles. Maybe they clash. "Is it ever appropriate to blow someone's phone up?" is really standing out to me. They might think they are the "monster" or "villain" in this connection or at this particular time. There are a lot fears and insecurities.

Okay...I have to say this just because it's come up AGAIN. *ahem* some of you may have communicated, in some way, that their sex game is wack.

TL;DR: This person is on the defense. Maybe because of a recent disagreement or an offensive statement. They are planning to come back around, they really want to. They feel very strongly towards you. Beware if they are controlling and domineering. They will come back around with the same energy so be prepared to reassert boundaries. Your connection makes them think so deeply about their ideas around relationships. They overthink a lot. However, they are trying to grow mentally and improve themselves.

Pile 2

Off the bat: Someone may be a stoner. You could get high a lot or when you're together everything feels dreamy. Very heady. You could have met this person overseas or one of you is from a different country. I feel quite nostalgic. So maybe this is an old connection or one that reminds you of a certain era in your life. You could daydream about them a lot. This could be a crush. The masculine may have long hair or blonde hair. Some of you could be LGBT.

Feelings for you:

I think your sacral chakras are very activated by this connection. Now I see why I was getting a heady, intoxicating feeling. Your person is sooo very attracted to you! Like they think you are hot hot. I'm hearing "hot to the touch." I don't know why this is so heavily on their mind. Are you holding back from them? Have you been spending time apart? I keep getting very 18+ flashes in my head. This person seems like the type to actually study the karma sutra.

Some of you may not even know they feel this passionately for you. I'm sure you know they're attracted but do you know they're absolutely feral? I think they try to keep a calm demeanor on the outside. They feel like you have a lot of power over them. Maybe not the connection itself, but you definitely heavily influence this person.

There could be an issue with third parties. I think they feel a bit cursed. Like if things aren't working out, or they met you after they had already settled down with someone else...they are taking it very personally. Its frustrating. They have very deep emotions. They feel things strongly and examine their emotions in solitude. I'm also hearing, "I picked the winning side." So maybe they chose someone else for shallow reasons, or for purely financial reasons. They feel a bit opportunistic like they are waiting to capitalize.

If you are the cheater then this person feels like walking away from you was the right decision. They are defensive toward giving this anymore chances. Maybe this is how they perceive your energy toward them. Some of you may have been the person that experienced a betrayal. You are trying to heal. They are aware of this.

Thoughts on connection:

This person could be veryy avoidant. It is so hard pulling any cards for this part of the reading, so it is likely that they avoid thinking about the connection. Oof after pulling more cards I can see why. I'm using the Ceccoli deck and the knight of pentacles literally says "hate me."

Their thoughts toward you feel very hostile. Or they could view the connection to be hostile. They think you care about yourself than anyone else. In particular, they think that you look good and so you are able to string people along. They feel soo jealous. They feel rejected. They don't want to be just another suitor.

Honestly, I am so taken aback by this energy. I did not see it coming. They are so so mad over you! Honestly, I would stay away from this person. This is the sort of energy where you would have to start from scratch if you ever did decide to give this another go. Or they are realizing they have to move on and start from zero. Like setting up dating app profiles, going on dates, bla bla.

They could be feeling like you know what you're doing. That you target people. Is this a sugar daddy that didn't realize he was a sugar daddy? lol. Either way they think all of your actions are intentional. Maybe this why they feel gloat-y when I pulled their feeling cards. Do they think they are getting revenge?

Take this how it resonates. Reverse roles if needed.

TL;DR: You could have had a very passionate, lusty relationship with this person. Someone feels extremely burned here. For most of you it is this person. They see as a self-absorbed, player. They are super attracted to you, but also very angry and jealous right now. I would keep my distance because they feel very scorned. They could try to avoid thinking about you. Reverse any roles if needed.

Pile 3

Off the bat: I'm tasting cotton candy. Maybe that relates to some memory you made together. I also think this connection could feel very sweet. Maybe you're high school sweethearts. It could also be that you are still in the crush phase or honeymoon phase. Things feel mostly happy.

Feelings for you:

Aww so right away, this person has very tender feelings for you. They feel all warm and gooey on the inside when they think of you. For some, you could be this person's first same-sex crush or relationship. I do think they want to make some kind of offer. They could be considering confessing their feelings or asking you out. They are very attracted to you.

Some of you may not have had sex yet and they are trying to temper their desires. But its not easy. Maybe you want to take your time or you have very conservative values. If they are not getting to communicate with you at all, it is eating them up. They are ready to apologize, make up, or reunited. Whatever it may be. They want to be by your side. I get very simpy vibes and I mean that in the best way possible!

They want to remain optimistic about the connection. They are trying to be brave and build a good connection. Or maybe this what they think of you. Fearless, a trailblazer, good with boundaries. Either way, they want to embody these traits.

Thoughts on Connection:

I really do think this person would have to be "brave" to pursue this connection because that message is coming out again in their thoughts. Maybe they will just have to take a deep breath and make their approach. For others, this may require them coming out of the closet. It doesn't have to be telling the world. Its mainly about telling you.

There are a lot of messages about staying focused and working hard. So they could be hyper focused on putting in effort to make this connection work. They consider the connection itself to be pleasant. They know they can leave their insecurities at the door and drop any facade. You both can be yourselves. This makes them feel so safe.

An example of what all this could look like: You have been spending time together and now you have caught feelings for each other. Maybe for right now your relationship is private. Or their feelings for you are private but they will have to confess them. This could be anxiety inducting. So, taking these actions might not be pleasant, but being with you is. And that's what makes it all worth it.

They are trying to believe that love exists. I think they may actively try to keep their thoughts positive, like challenging negative thoughts when they come up. Maybe they need to have more hope in order to approach you. That its possible to find a good partner. Those people exist. I am also getting that they are struggling like this because of a breakup.

TL;DR: This person gives major simp vibes. They are feeling you for sure! Very very attracted. This relationship could still be in the honeymoon phase or could feel like that. For some this person hasn't even confessed feelings yet. They don't want to keep hiding their feelings from you or hiding the relationship from the world. They are giving themselves mental pep talks! They are trying to be less jaded about love. They are want to do what it takes to make this connection work!

Pile 4

Off the bat: The energy feels very serious. Kind of corporate. A bit stagnant like there isn't much going on in the connection. Someone could be from a small town or from a more traditional part of the country. Maybe a difference in views was an issue.

Feelings for you:

They are fighting their pull towards you. I would not be surprised if they reached out to you soon. If they do, just know that they fought that feeling for as long as they could! Maybe you are matching their energy and they wanted to show you they could wait you out. They could be indulging in vices to distract themselves.

They most definitely feel like "you're mine". They are very possessive over you. They are not going anywhere and they are going to fight off anything threats to the relationship. They find you to be gentle and feminine. Calming. You could remind them of their mother but not in a creepy way. Like say she always knew exactly what to say and they never thought they would find anyone else that could soothe them like that. Maybe you do that for them

If you just reconciled they feel very happy about this. 6 of wands with the tower. They are celebrating. Their pride and ego are off the charts.

Alternatively, this person could have ended the relationship in a dramatic or cruel fashion. They think about how they blew up all the potential that was here. It almost feels like they're gloating. Umm I don't want to go further into this energy because its just hurtful. There's no need to rehash it.

Thoughts on Connection:

As I was looking over the cards (I left them faced down until I finished pulling), I thought "tricky tricky," and in the guidebook, they literally used TRICKY. Idk I thought that was interesting. So this could either be how they think about you or ⚠ these are their actions they are thinking of ⚠

I say this because there are some very player like cards coming out. 3/4 of the oracle cards mention tricks or hidden layers. Since these are their thoughts, this person is aware they are being deceptive. This connection in general could be one where it is wise to trust each other. Maybe you hurt each other.

If you have no history with this person, or this person seems very charming, this is intentional. They could be trying to get into your pants. But in a gross, conquest-y way. Furthermore, the one card that didn't mention tricky energy, talked about being naive and getting caught in a trap...so yeah. No need to belabor the point but this person could be trying to craft the perfect image or relationship to get what they want.

Finally, for some of you, this person is aware they are toxic. They could know it is time to heal. Maybe you even left them because they needed to get it together. They are numb. They are so torn between choosing their vices and choosing to get better. This could be living a party lifestyle vs. getting into rehab. Or being a player vs. going to therapy. I don't think this started with you. If they aren't at rock bottom yet, they are headed there. They know this. They are about to burst so they need to choose. Get better/do better or be consumed by their inner demons.

For some of you, this person feels iced out by you but it is probably by choice. They could change and do better and get you back. Its killing them inside that you are apart, but they have to decide whether are willing to do what it takes to deserve you.

TL;DR: This person feels possessive over you. They also could be vindictive. For example, they may have rejected you in a cruel way. Or they feel you did that. This could be a painful connection for both of you. This person could have a lot of vices that they need to battle. For some, you are dealing with a player who is on a mission. If they are super charming and seem too good to be true, they are. They could be trying to say and do all the right things to get what they want. They could think there are many hidden layers to this connection. There is a lack of trust or they are aware of their deceptive behavior.

This is the final reading from the poll. Which means another poll is otw.

Keep an eye out 👁‍🗨👄👁

~ K

#pick a card reading #pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarot #intuitive readings #pick a pile #oracle reading #tarot reading #spirituality #oracle cards #love reading #love tarot reading

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fantasyescapes17 · 1 year

Text

Scandal (Part 4, Final)

The Viscount's sister with an enormous dowry, beauty and unmistakable talent- you began the London season as the most desired woman in any room. But Jeon Wonwoo (a man who would rather hide in the library than dance at a ball) is beyond your comprehension. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it embroiled you into a scandal with a man you could never love.

Genre: Wonwoo x Female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Joshua's sibling so your maiden name is Hong but the reader has no other physical characteristics.

Word Count: 6.7k+

Part 1 Part 2 (Part 3)

Series Masterlist [Reading Candle and Manners, the earlier installments in this series first is strongly recommended as main character dynamics are introduced there.]

Wonwoo carefully helped you down from the carriage. He offered you his arm and you leaned closer to him than you would normally have done- taking the opportunity to catch a whiff of his soothing scent.

It was the evening of the children's performance and a number of villagers had gathered in the gardens behind the orphanage. Sister Lynn waited by the entrance, ready to greet you and Wonwoo as soon as you descended your carriage.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jeon," she greeted you breathlessly. "I am so grateful to you for coming tonight. The children are incredibly excited to be performing for you. I have already reserved seats in the garden. This way, please…"

You followed Sister Lynn. The garden had been set up with a makeshift stage and rows of chairs. As you walked past, many of the villagers stopped to curtsey and greet you politely. Their smiles were more genuine than before and you noticed more warmth coming from some of them than you had felt during your infrequent strolls in the market.

"The villagers seem more friendly than they used to," you murmured to Wonwoo. He angled his head slightly downwards to listen to you. "It must be because you are with me. They respect you."

Wonwoo shook his head. "I cannot take credit for that. This is your own doing. They have heard of your contributions for the orphanage."

You hesitated. "Surely not…"

"My family has been donating money to the orphanage for years but you are the first noblewoman to spend time with the children. The skills you are teaching the girls- music and French- these are skills the nobility usually hoards to themselves. By teaching them to these children, you have made a statement."

You looked up at Wonwoo in surprise.

"It was not my intention to make any statements. I only felt it was unfair that the children did not have the opportunity to learn these skills elsewhere."

"That these children deserve the same opportunities as noble-born children- that is a statement in itself."

You did not know how to answer so you stayed silent. Teaching the children had been a welcome distraction and not an act of rebellion against the societal class structure. You were not sure that you would have volunteered your time for something like this had you still been in London.

But you were not in London. Mrs. Jeon was not a fashionable London debutante. She was the wife of a nobleman in the countryside.

Perhaps it did not really matter what you would have done in your past life.

Sister Lynn had reserved a pair of seats in the front row that were draped in a red cloth to make them stand out. It was evident that you and your husband were the most important guests of the evening, and had been given the prime seats.

Fred came running up to you as soon as you sat down.

"Mrs. Jeon!" he greeted you shyly. He was holding something behind his back and he held it out to you. "I made this for you."

It was a small rose made of red paper. You could not help it- the innocent gesturebrought a smile to your face.

"Thank you, Fred! It is beautiful!" you told the young boy. He smiled and his ears turned pink before he ran back to join the other children waiting by the stage. Wonwoo looked down at the flower and then back up at you- the surprise on his face was unmistakable.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You need not look so surprised, Wonwoo. As you should know, I have admirers everywhere."

Wonwoo shook his head.

"Your receiving a flower from a child does not surprise me. I was surprised because I have not seen you smile like that… since we were in London."

"Perhaps I have not had much reason to smile since we were in London. You should try giving me a rose sometime. I will be happy to grant you a smile in return," you teased.

Wonwoo looked at you for a long moment and said nothing in response. You wondered if you had overstepped; your husband had not been particularly receptive to flirtation even before he was married. You cleared your throat and turned away but were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly leaned in to murmur in your ear.

"I… would have given you more than one," he said in his calm, deep voice. "Roses must be given in threes."

You felt your heartbeat quicken.

"Empty words considering I have one rose from Fred and none from you, Mr. Jeon," you retorted lightly.

Wonwoo simply shook his head and turned his attention back to the stage as Sister Lynn called for all the guests to settle down; but you could see that the corner of Wonwoo's lips were curved up in the hint of a smile.

"Take your seats, please!" Sister Lynn called out to all the villagers who settled down in the rows of chairs behind you. "The performances are about to begin!"

You settled down to watch. Each of the children had prepared something different and although you had been spending plenty of time with them of late, their talents still surprised you. Fred and some of the other boys performed an amusing little play that they had written themselves. Amelia sang a beautiful French song that you had taught her. Little Jia could not sing- but she recited some poetry in French and her accent was flawless. All the children were treated to generous applause and praise by the audience.

Marie was the last to perform. You were surprised when four of the villagers came in carrying the heavy pianoforte from the orphanage and placed it by the side of the stage.

Sister Lynn called for the attention of the audience.

"Marie will play a waltz that she has been practising on the piano," Sister Lynn announced with a smile. "Our generous benefactress Mrs. Jeon informs us that this is the same waltz which was played last season at the ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham in London- so we are in for a very rare treat indeed."

Wonwoo turned to you with furrowed eyebrows.

"The ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham? Was that not the ball where we-"

"Hush," you said quickly. "Let us dance."

"Dance?" Wonwoo asked you in mild disbelief. "Here? At a children's performance?"

The opening notes of the waltz began. Marie's playing was excellent; you had taught her well. You stood and held your hand out to Wonwoo. Some of the other villagers had also risen from their seats and were beginning to dance- although, having never properly learnt the waltz, they were doing a clumsy imitation of the steps.

"It is the same Viennese waltz that is often played at balls in London. I am sure you recognise it- despite your aversion to social events," you quipped.

Wonwoo took your hand and followed you a short distance away from the chairs. You stepped closer to him- one hand clasped in his, the other placed on his shoulder. You had not worn gloves this evening as formal gloves had seemed excessive in the presence of the villagers.

Wonwoo's bare hand clasped yours. His fingers were warm as he placed his other hand on your back and the simple, but intimate gesture made your heart skip a beat.

"For a man that almost never danced at balls, you are a surprisingly good dancer," you told him with a smile as he slowly guided you into the waltz.

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at you. "I was trained, like any other gentleman. My mother had me and my sister take formal dance lessons before we entered society."

"Yes; but skills such as dancing often grow rusty from lack of use," you teased him.

"You seem to be grossly underestimating the amount of dancing I did in London. It may not have been enough to suit my mother or the young ladies of the ton, but it was still plenty. I am surprised that you and I have never danced before."

You laughed at the hypocrisy. "How can you possibly be surprised that we have never danced before when you have never asked me to dance?" you demanded.

Wonwoo bit his lip. "You would not have accepted me."

"Nonsense. You were the one who was miserly about granting dances. I never turned one down. I even danced with Mr. Park multiple times- although he constantly trod on my toes and ruined a very pretty pair of shoes I had."

"Then I am out of excuses," Wonwoo confessed.

"You could have told me that you were too nervous to dance with me because of my superior dancing skills," you offered with a playful smile. "That would have been an acceptable excuse."

Wonwoo chuckled. "No. That would have been a bare-faced lie."

You allowed Wonwoo to lead you gently and expertly through the waltz. Many of the villagers had paused their own dancing to watch you- but Wonwoo seemed entirely unconcerned about the audience that you had gathered. He never faltered in his step.

For a brief moment it felt magical. The dark thoughts and worries and loneliness that had incessantly bogged down every waking hour of your life for the past few months disappeared and were replaced with a sort of childish giddiness.

Wonwoo's bare fingers entwined with yours; and his dark but gentle eyes looked down at you steadily without once avoiding your gaze. He lightly bit his soft lips in an attempt to concentrate on the waltz and for a quick moment you could see what you had never seen before. You caught a glimpse through the windows of the fortress he had built around his heart and saw the shadow of a vulnerable, hesitant, caring man trapped on the inside.

"Wonwoo…"

The waltz came to an end. There was a loud applause for Marie and also for you and your husband- many of the villagers had admired your skilful dancing.

"Thank you for the dance," you told your husband lightly as you took a step back from him. He nodded and released you quickly. He was flustered as he only now realised that you had been observed by most of the villagers.

"We should have more music!" one of the villagers suggested. "So that we might dance more!"

Marie, still sitting at the piano, blushed with embarrassment.

"I only learned how to play the one waltz," she admitted shyly. She looked up and her eyes met yours across the garden. "But Mrs. Jeon can play so many more! Mrs. Jeon, would you play us a song that everyone can dance to?"

You hesitated and looked around at the expectant faces. "I-I couldn't. This performance was for the children, it is not my place-"

Wonwoo interrupted you. "I think you should play."

You gave him a sharp look. "What?"

"Play them a song," he replied simply.

You glanced around at the watching villagers and then leaned closer to Wonwoo, lowering your voice "At the children's performance? I hope you are not going to accuse me of being vain if one of them cries because I played better than them?"

"I think Marie may cry if you do not play."

You were surprised when Wonwoo gently took your hand and led you towards the instrument. Marie beamed and vacated the seat for you- you sat in front of the piano and took a deep breath.

"Well- how about a lively one?" you suggested.

You sat down and allowed your fingers to dance over the instrument in a lively waltz- something that the villagers would find entertaining despite not knowing the exact dance steps. Many of them began to dance again. Marie sat down on the stool beside you to watch you play with great interest.

Wonwoo moved a short distance away and leaned against the garden fence to watch you play in silence. You had to focus on the keys so you could not afford to look at him very much- but Marie's eyes were constantly flickering towards your husband.

"Mr. Jeon seems to admire your playing greatly," Marie whispered to you innocently. "Is that how he fell in love with you? Did you perform for him in London and he fell in love?"

You wanted to laugh.

"That is not what happened," you told her. "Where did you get that idea?"

Marie looked flustered. "I read in a book that gentlemen are often impressed by ladies who have excellent musical skills."

"True," you admitted. "But that was not the case with Mr. Jeon."

"Then how did he fall in love with you?"

You bit your lip as you tried to focus on the tune you were playing. You could not blame Marie for her innocent question; it was impossible for her to understand the circumstances behind your marriage that made it difficult for you to answer. For all she knew, you and Mr. Jeon were a perfectly happy married couple.

"You shall have to ask him that," you said simply.

Marie gasped. "I could never! Mr. Jeon looks so terribly serious all the time- although Sister Lynn says he is a very kind person and that we must be very grateful to him."

"But he could smile more," you agreed.

"Yes, I suppose he could. He is frowning at us even now," Marie giggled.

The waltz came to an end; your face was warm with pleasure and you could not stop the smile from spreading across your face when the villagers applauded your performance generously. You stood and thanked them as Wonwoo approached you.

"It is growing late," he told you quietly as he offered you his arm. "Perhaps we should take our leave."

Marie suddenly stood from the stool as well. Her face was flushed as she looked up at your husband.

"Mr. Jeon," she began boldly. "What is it that made you fall in love with Mrs. Jeon?"

Wonwoo looked taken aback by the young girl's sudden question. His eyes widened and he turned to you in confusion. You shook your head lightly- don't ruin her innocence, play along, you tried to tell him with your eyes.

Wonwoo paused for a moment and then looked back down at the little girl.

His response was quiet.

"I fell in love with her because she shines so brightly."

—------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke early the next morning.

The sunlight streaming through your curtains was not as bright as usual. You were accustomed to sleeping in rather late; it was not as though you were needed anywhere in the mornings, and Mrs. Betsy was more than happy to keep breakfast for you even if you did not come downstairs in time.

But for once, you awoke unusually early and went downstairs hoping- almost expecting- to see your husband.

"Good morning, Mrs. Jeon!" the housekeeper greeted you in surprise when she saw you appear in the breakfast parlour. "You are awake earlier than usual. I will bring out your breakfast momentarily."

You nodded and sat down. "Thank you, Mrs. Betsy. Has… has Mr. Jeon eaten?"

Mrs. Betsy blinked at you in surprise. It was rare for you to ask about your husband; the two of you almost never ate breakfast together.

"I am afraid Mr. Jeon left early this morning for the neighbouring town to take care of some matters of the estate," she informed you simply. "He should return tomorrow."

You nodded. "Oh. I see."

"Were you expecting him?"

"No, no particularly," you said dismissively. You felt suddenly embarrassed that your housekeeper had noticed your disappointment. You thought that after the lovely evening you had spent with your husband at the orphanage, he might actually have breakfast with you. You cleared your throat. "Has the post arrived?"

"Yes, of course."

You busied yourself reading a letter from Ella that contained some gossip about the ton- but your eyes stared blankly at her words without taking them in. Your mind was still replaying moments from the previous night.

The feeling of Wonwoo's fingers entwined with yours, the small smile on his handsome face when you teased him, the way you had been lost in his dark eyes as he guided you through the waltz…

You had danced with possibly hundreds of men before but had never quite felt the same way.

Was it because he was your husband? Was it because, for the first time since your marriage, you had allowed yourself to look at Jeon Wonwoo, really look at the man clearly instead of through lenses clouded by your own self-pity and misery, and see him for who he truly was? That small glimpse of Wonwoo behind his fortress walls was not enough.

You wanted more.

You suddenly craved more of him.

You felt restless for the next two days as you paced the house and waited for Wonwoo's return. You had never bothered to do so before- your husband often spent the night away when he was off on business matters, and you had never once cared to worry about his return.

It was the third day after his absence that you finally heard the sound of the carriage rolling up to the Jeon manor. Snowball perked up his ears and ran to the front entrance of the manor faster than you. The carriage had stopped in front of the main entrance and a man descended- but it was not your husband.

"Joshua?" you asked in shock.

The Viscount and Viscountess Hong descended the carriage. Snowball immediately leapt at your brother, and your sister-in-law came to throw her arms around you.

"Oh; my dear, it is such a relief to see you!" she cried as she embraced you warmly. You embraced her in return- it had been months since you had seen your family and you could not help the tears that pricked your eyes.

"I have missed you so much," you admitted as you hugged her back. Joshua finally managed to hand Snowball off to a servant and came over to give you a warm hug as well. Your brother gripped your shoulders and frowned down at you.

"You look terrible," he told you bluntly.

His wife swatted him. "Joshua!" she cried. "How can you say that to her?"

You did not mind at all; you were far too happy to see them and you called for Mrs. Betsy and the servants to carry their belongings inside and prepare rooms for them. Joshua watched you flitter about with a frown on his face, as you ushered them into the parlour and called for tea and refreshments.

"What brings you here?" you asked Joshua eagerly as your brother and sister-in-law sat down in the parlour. "You did not even write that you were coming- or did I miss your letter? Perhaps I have not been keeping up with my correspondence…"

"We will not be staying long," Joshua replied simply. "We have only come to take you with us."

You blinked at him. "Take me with you? Where?"

"Home, sister."

You stared at him in confusion. "Home? But what…" your eyes widened, suddenly fearing the worst. "Is something wrong with Mother?"

"Mother is healthy and well. Luckily, she does not know what you have been going through," Joshua replied simply. His jaw was clenched; your brother suddenly seemed very unlike himself. "Instead of asking the servants to prepare rooms for us, I think it would be best if you asked them to pack your belongings."

"I don't… I don't understand…"

The Viscountess sat beside you and took your trembling hand in hers. Her voice was gentle. "My dear, I know you have been trying to hide it in your letters but we are aware of how miserable you have been. Mr. Jeon has been corresponding with your brother. We are very worried for your health."

You stiffened. "My health is fine-"

"Mr. Jeon tells us that you have been quite depressed. That you sit in the drawing room for days on end without moving, that you never speak and you never smile. He wrote to us to say that he thought it was best if you went back home."

You felt like you had been slapped.

"Wonwoo wrote to you to take me home?"

Joshua nodded. "Yes. He wrote to me on Sunday and we left immediately upon receiving the letter. I know that you probably did not want to scare us, sister… but you should have said something in your letters. We would never have expected you to stay here if we knew you were so miserable even after all this time."

You could barely hear what your brother was saying. Your head suddenly spun; had Wonwoo done this? He had called your brother to come take you away without a word? Now, after you had finally reached out to him and were beginning to see a glimpse of hope in your future with him?

You felt…

Betrayed.

You stood suddenly. "No, this does not make sense. Surely Wonwoo would not have done this now. Not after the other evening, I…"

"Sister-"

"Mrs. Betsy!" you yelled for the housekeeper, your voice trembling. The older woman came running into the room, wide-eyed. "Where exactly is my husband?"

"I-I believe he is at the inn in the neighbouring town, madam-"

"Send a manservant on horseback to him at once and tell him that I demand him to return home this very instant," you ordered shakily. When the housekeeper stared at you without moving, you clenched your fists. "Was I not clear, Mrs. Betsy? I require this to be done right now!"

"Of course, madam."

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. Surely there was some misunderstanding. It would be resolved. Wonwoo had simply expressed his concerns about your behaviour and your overprotective brother had jumped to his own conclusions…

"You should both go to your rooms to refresh yourselves and dress for supper," you told your brother and sister-in-law. "I… need a few moments."

"Of course."

You felt light-headed for the rest of the evening. Your thoughts were bogged down by a dense fog in your mind as you waited for Wonwoo to arrive. Your stomach clenched, and although you finally sat down to supper with the Viscount and Viscountess, the delicious food only made you feel nauseous.

You had just begun to eat when Mrs. Betsy came into the dining room hurriedly.

"Mr. Jeon has arrived," she announced.

You leapt to your feet as Wonwoo entered the dining room. His eyes were red and his dark hair tousled and windswept; he appeared to have ridden here directly on horseback. He avoided looking at you.

"Viscount Hong, Viscountess Hong," Wonwoo greeted them with a stiff nod. His voice was slightly hoarse.

Your sister-in-law smiled at him.

"Thank you for having us at your home, Mr. Jeon," she said before turning to your brother expectantly. The Viscount said nothing. He did not even stand to greet Wonwoo. His wife nudged him sharply.

"Joshua!" she mumbled.

Your brother looked up at Wonwoo with an expression you had almost never seen on the Viscount's famously kind and gentle countenance- carefully controlled anger.

"I have nothing to say to Mr. Jeon," Joshua replied.

Wonwoo's eyes widened but he was silent. He simply nodded and turned his head away, almost as though accepting defeat. You stood from the table abruptly.

"That does not matter, since I have plenty to say to him," you interrupted the tense silence before striding to the dining room entrance. "Let us speak in your study, Wonwoo."

You did not look back as you took determined, trembling steps towards Wonwoo's study. You could hear your husband following you. You stood silently, one hand on the back of a chair to balance yourself as you waited for Wonwoo to enter the room and close the door behind him.

"Did you write to my brother to tell him to take me home?" you demanded.

Wonwoo was silent. His body was facing you but his eyes were unfocused, looking at the polished wooden floor near your feet instead of into your eyes. His jaw was clenched tightly.

"Wonwoo?" you demanded again, when multiple seconds had passed and he still had not answered.

"...Yes," he replied. "Yes, I did."

Your legs felt weak and your grip on the back of the chair tightened- you were now using it as a crutch to stay standing upright.

"Why?" you asked quietly.

Wonwoo took a deep breath. He would still not look at you. His entire body was stiff and he seemed perfectly satisfied to continue staring at the floor without answering you.

"Wonwoo!" you demanded again.

"I don't know what to say."

You felt a burst of anger explode inside of you at the sight of his lips pressed firmly together.

"Well, you will have to say something! You cannot just stand there in silence and allow me to come up with my own explanations for this… this drastic step that you seemed to think was necessary to take without consulting me! How exactly is this supposed to work? We are married. Do you want me gone for a month? A year?"

Wonwoo said nothing.

"Speak to me!" you yelled. The frustration was building rapidly inside of your chest but you could see that the more you demanded it, the more Wonwoo seemed to be shutting himself off from you. His head hung low and he still would not look at you. His eyes were closed.

"Wonwoo," you said slowly, your voice trembling with anger. "If you do not explain yourself then I have no choice but to assume the worst. I will have to assume that living with me and even speaking to me is so wholly repulsive to you that you cannot stand to do it for a moment longer."

Wonwoo was silent.

You felt your heart sink. It felt as though Jeon Wonwoo had reached inside of your chest and used his cold silence to rip out every remaining shred of hope and dignity you had left.

You felt your throat close up. You were foolish. Foolish to think anything could come of this, foolish to still have entertained any hope in the possibility of happiness after months and months of this slow torture.

"Very well," you whispered. "I will pack my things immediately."

You felt yourself walk out of the study as though you were in a dream. Everything was blurred; the walls seemed to dance in your vision as you ran up the stairs and ordered Rosie and two other maids to bring a trunk and pack all your belongings. Your own voice felt disembodied… almost like it belonged to someone else.

The maids were shocked, but the expression on your face prevented them from asking questions. They hurried to obey your orders. You stood stiffly in your room and watched in a daze as the maids pulled dresses out of your wardrobe and began to fold them into the trunks.

The door to your bedroom opened without a knock.

"Leave us," you heard Wonwoo mumble quietly to the maids. They stood and quickly left the room as Wonwoo entered and closed the door behind him.

"Finally thought of something to say?" you asked him coldly.

Wonwoo walked to your bed and sat down on the edge of it. His broad shoulders were hunched and he bent his head forwards as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair.

"I need a moment," he whispered, almost inaudibly.

You waited. Every moment of silence was agony. It could have been second, minutes… time seemed to lose meaning but finally Wonwoo lifted his head to look up at you. His eyes were red and his voice cracked when he spoke.

"I don't know how to do it," he choked out. "I don't know how to make you happy."

"What?"

"I didn't think it would be this difficult. I thought it would pass- that I could learn in time, but I just don't know. It kills me inside knowing that you are going through so much pain. I can't watch it any longer. I can't watch you become a shell of the person you used to be. You used to light up any room you were in like the blazing sun. I can't watch as that light inside of you dies, slowly, with each passing day that you are here."

"Wonwoo…"

He took a shaky breath. "I've failed. But I can't continue to let my failures as a husband destroy you. You deserve a chance at happiness."

You stared at him. Wonwoo's fists were clenched as he gripped the wooden frame of your bed. His knuckles were white.

"So, your solution," you said slowly. "Your solution was to go behind my back and write to my brother to come and take me away-"

"Your family will know how to fix-"

"Shut up," you hissed. Wonwoo looked up at you in shock. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I have told you this before and I will say it again, Mr. Jeon. I am a grown woman who is capable of making her own choices and decisions. I will not be treated like a child- not by the Viscount and certainly not by my husband!"

Wonwoo swallowed and said nothing.

"And the audacity- the audacity you have to claim that you have failed at something that you never once tried to do!" you snapped. "Tell me, Mr. Jeon. Tell me what valiant attempts you made to make me happy or even be a good husband to me."

"I-I tried to give you your space, your freedom…"

You laughed. "Space? Freedom? You abandoned me here. You built an impenetrable iron wall the size of a godforsaken fortress between us and you left me here to rot!"

"Every conversation we have had somehow turns to an argument. You never wanted this marriage, you never wanted to marry me, and I did not want to force myself upon you unwillingly!" Wonwoo retorted, his eyes flaming.

"Then you should have said so! You should have spoken to me instead of running away because a marriage cannot sustain itself on silence, Wonwoo! No relationship can sustain itself on silence! You had to speak to me and tell me how you were feeling!"

Wonwoo stood and went to the large window in your bedroom. He turned his back to you as his hand grabbed the windowsill.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Your anger slowly deflated. "No, I… you are not alone in fault. I share the blame. I was too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and mourning the life I lost. I watched you build distance between us and I did nothing to stop it. I never gave this marriage a chance. Neither of us gave this marriage a proper chance. For heaven's sake, that connecting door has been locked since our wedding night."

Wonwoo's eyes briefly flickered towards the connecting door that led to his bedroom and nodded.

"Maybe so," he admitted quietly. "Maybe we never really tried hard enough."

You stepped closer to him.

"But I thought things were changing," you confessed weakly. "I thought maybe we were finally beginning to understand each other. After that night at the orphanage, when we danced together and you were speaking to me and smiling at me, I finally, finally felt…"

Wonwoo turned to look at you.

"What?" he asked gently.

"I finally felt like you were my husband," you finished. "But clearly I was mistaken, since whatever happened that evening prompted you to write to my brother to take me away."

Wonwoo bit his lip.

"I saw how happy you were that night," he admitted. "I know that we never spent much time together or got along in London but… whatever disagreements we may have had, you were always someone that shined so brightly wherever you went. I saw that light die out when you married me. I was beginning to think it was gone forever. But I saw a glimmer of it when we danced and when you played the piano. I thought it was better if you went back to your family before that light died out completely."

You stepped closer to him. Wonwoo's dark eyes searched for yours and you could see the way his lower lip trembled.

"I was happy that night," you told him gently. "But it was not because I missed dancing or music. It was because I finally felt some hope for my future. I caught a glimpse of you-of the real you that you hide behind your silence- and I thought that if only I could see more of that man, I might someday come to love him."

Wonwoo's jaw tightened. "Do you mean that?"

"More than anything."

He turned away from the window and closed the distance between you both with one large stride- and then he kissed you.

You had not expected it. It was not something that you had ever even dared to imagine, kissing Wonwoo. But his warm hands slid into the strands of your hair and he pulled you flush against him as his lips closed softly and passionately over yours.

You took a few moments to react. You had never been kissed before, but your body was a few steps ahead of your mind and it melted naturally and comfortably against Wonwoo's. Your hands grasped at his broad shoulders and you pulled yourself closer to him. Your lips parted for him eagerly, inhaling his familiar scent, and enjoying the rush of adrenaline that was pumping through every inch of your body.

Wonwoo pulled back breathlessly after a few moments- he pressed his forehead to yours and you felt his warm breath against your face.

"Perhaps-" he whispered breathlessly. "Perhaps I should not have…"

"No," you insisted as you brought your hand up to rest on the side of Wonwoo’s neck and brushed his cheek with your thumb. "No, Wonwoo, we should have done this long, long ago."

He nodded. You felt his shoulders relax and his dark eyes flickered down to yours. There was a hesitation mixed with a deep longing behind them.

"Do you still want me to return with my brother?" you whispered.

He swallowed. "I don't… I don't know."

"What does that mean?"

"I want you to be happy," Wonwoo said firmly. "If you stay here, and you are still lonely and miserable…"

"I don't know where or how I will be happy," you told him gently. "But if things here change… if we open up to each other more, if we can spend more time together and discuss our feelings and set aside all the guilt and resentment and anger…"

Wonwoo took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I can make you happy," he admitted to you hesitantly. "I don't know if I can make you love me."

"It's not a question of making me do anything, Wonwoo. You need to stop considering my happiness as some burden that you have to bear in silence, and simply be here, with me. That is all I ask."

"I can do that."

"And I will stop pitying myself and mourning the life I left behind," you told him. "And I will try-genuinely try- to rebuild a new life with you."

"Do you think we can do this?"

"We owe it to each other to try."

"All right," Wonwoo said gently. He brought his hand up to caress your cheek and you saw the warmth, the hope in his own expression. You saw the vulnerability in his eyes when he spoke. "Then let us try again. Together. Stay with me, please."

"I will."

—-----------------------------------------------

Viscount Hong was not pleased when you informed him that you would not be going back with him the next morning. He watched in stony silence as his wife arranged for all their belongings to be reloaded onto their carriage.

"Joshua," you tried to soothe his anger.

He ignored you. He was looking at your husband.

"You made me a promise," Joshua said coldly, frowning at Wonwoo. "The night when the scandal broke out, when you offered to marry my sister… you promised me that you would do everything in your power to keep her safe and happy. I trusted you and vouched for you; as a friend and a fellow gentleman."

Wonwoo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I made mistakes, I-"

"Wonwoo, stop," you insisted firmly. "You don't need to explain anything to my brother, what happened between us is about our marriage-"

Joshua frowned. "Then how do I trust him again?"

"There is no need for you to trust Wonwoo. You can trust me. I am telling you that I want to stay here, Joshua- it is that simple."

The Viscountess called out to her husband-"My dear, the carriage is waiting!" and Joshua finally embraced you in a brotherly hug.

"If something happens, you will write to me," he told you firmly.

"I will."

"Goodbye, sister."

You waved goodbye to the Viscount and Viscountess as they boarded their carriage and it rattled away from the estate. Wonwoo seemed tense- you turned to him with a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well," you said with a small smile. "Perhaps I should congratulate you on being the only person in this world who has managed to make an enemy out of Viscount Hong."

Wonwoo laughed dryly.

"Very humorous, Mrs. Jeon. I am glad that it pleases you for your brother to hate me," he replied.

You smiled. "He will forgive you."

"I hope so. I am almost grateful that we are not in a position to return to society in London just yet- I know that is where he keeps his duelling pistols."

You giggled. You began to walk back to the manor and you were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly reached out and took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. There was a small smile on his handsome face.

"How bold," you quipped lightly. "Do you usually go about touching women in this intimate manner?"

"Only when that woman is my wife and I am in my own home," Wonwoo replied.

"Is this an indication that I should unlock the connecting door between our bedrooms?" you teased him lightly.

His ears turned red. "If it pleases you."

"But would it please you?"

Wonwoo pressed his lips together tightly but his grip on your hand did not loosen. "Or perhaps," he suggested with a small smile. "We could go on a honeymoon instead. Have you ever seen Rome?"

You stared at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Very much so."

"We have been married for many months now. What will people think if we suddenly abandon the estate and take off for Rome like a pair of newlyweds?" you demanded.

Wonwoo chuckled. "People already think many things about us. I sincerely doubt that a trip to Rome will be the breaking point for our reputation in society."

"I will need new dresses if we are to go to Rome," you said thoughtfully. "The seamstresses in the village are competent but they hardly know the latest fashions."

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.

"I am sure that can be arranged," he replied.

"And new shoes and the latest jewellery. There is no silk to be found in this part of the countryside; we shall have to have it brought in from London. Perhaps a little extra fabric would be best- I've been meaning to have the curtains and upholstery in the drawing room replaced- they are quite dreary. The dining room could do with some refurbishment as well. And Wonwoo…"

He hummed. "Yes?"

You smiled at him. "I have been thinking that a new grand pianoforte would be an excellent addition to the library."

Wonwoo blinked. For a moment his dark eyes were unreadable and you were worried that you had gone too far- but he suddenly used your entwined hands to pull you into him and his other arm wrapped around your waist.

His head came down to place a soft kiss against the side of your neck and he whispered hoarsely in your ear.

"Mrs. Jeon."

"Hmmm," you mumbled.

"Unless you wish to return with your Viscount brother, perhaps it would be best not to spend the entire Jeon family fortune in one day?"

You bit your lip as you nodded. "Y-yes, of course."

"Good," Wonwoo replied as he released you gently. Your face had turned warm and he smiled at how flustered the simple intimate contact had made you. "Let us have breakfast."

"But I will need the dresses-"

He sighed. "Of course, my dear."

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