#and I never write or think of the ending so they just sort of go on forever in that time

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato

Ahaha I think we both grew up on the Twilight/Teen Wolf phase of YA fiction (that SPN made fun of 😝), but you know I've never written a romantic vampire fic before! Gotta say, it was hella fun 😏

But OH SWEET GOODNESS, this was so good! The mixture of the spice, the yearning, and the underlying bloodlust is perfectly balanced. It literally reads like a vampire romance and I am here for it! I think that the way it's written again shows how versatile you are in your style of writing and it's absolutely beautiful 💚

Why thank you so much, Lee!! 🥹 I tried a more poetic/avante-garde slant to this one than I normally do, but I felt like the moodboard called for, well, more "moodiness" loll. I'm so glad you thought it was beautiful 🥹💕💕

And I love that you highlighted one of my favorite parts!! I wrote this in one evening all in one go so I wasn't sure how "far" I wanted these two to go in this game their playing, but for the sake of the twist ending I thought "just enough spice" was the way to go! 😘

LOL sorry for kickstarting your vampire phase - I had one too back in the day with Vampire Knight 😂 (and I've seen all the Twilight movies)

Reader the whole time: (sort of)

Bahaha ACCURATE! She can't decide between "devouring" him and...well, taking a nice chunk out of him 😅🩸🩸

Ooh so glad you liked the twist! I needed a happy(ish) ending somehow! 😂😂

Thank you so much for reading this little drabble, my friend!! 💞

TASTE

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Vampire!Reader

Summary: It’s a devastating hunger. He finds you, at his own risk.

AN: Surprise! Here’s a short drabble for @chevroletdean's 500 follower celebration! (Moodboard created by Liane!) 💜🖤❤️

Word Count: 900

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, spiciness, set circa season 6, little twist ending…

A tease, a whisper of heated breath, a soft streak of cherry red lipstick drawing a lazy path to his ear; your lips brush against his jawline.

“Dean.”

His breath hitches. Perhaps it’s a reaction to the way you say his name, a sultry beckoning and a plea all at once, like a heady sip of Merlot somehow scarring down the throat.

Perhaps it’s the way you’ve caught him. He clears his throat.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, sweetheart,” he intones.

You can hear every uptick beat of his heart while his big hands find an achingly familiar stronghold on your parted thighs. You’ve always admired the strength in his hands, and the way he can move you even without their talents—with just his lips, his voice, his eyes.

He’s found you in this hovel. Deep down, you knew he would eventually. You have him trapped beneath you on this dingy couch, your long nails biting into chipped leather instead of his skin. You’re the one who’s stronger now. And no matter how many warnings blare like a fiery lashing in your mind, you can’t help yourself. You want him more than ever.

It’s a devastating hunger.

For every cell that no longer bleeds red inside you, there’s a demand for more. You crave his taste, now in more ways than one. It scares you. This scares you, more than you’ve ever been scared of anything—even though you’re the one who’s in control, grabbing his face with a slender hand. Your fingertips press into his jaw, digging firmly enough into his stubble-covered cheeks to have the jade of his eyes solely on you.

Your eyes are different now. Darker, sharper, a phantom haze of violet and crushed roses. You see the way he takes in your face, trying to find something recognizable in you besides your body.

“You shouldn’t have,” you finally reply, though there’s hesitation in your voice. Conflict. Pain. Need. A small vulnerability, slight tremble. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

And yet, that deep pit of empty, vicious craving deep in your core compels you to move, to take what you need.

“I think we both know I can handle it,” Dean says. His grin is cocky and familiar in its teasing, but his eyes hold the weight of more. He can’t just let you go. His grip tightens on your thighs to deliberately shift you against him, guiding your clothed pussy against the generous, straining bulge in his jeans. You feel the warmth of him already. You utter a soft moan, your brows knitting together.

Fuck. It’s only been days, but you’ve missed him.

Just a taste.

A threat of a kiss against his lips devolves into hungry devouring. A grunt and a groan loosen from the back of his throat. His fingers delve into your hair and slip around the strands, the same way you suck his tongue into your mouth.

Your hand slips around his back to pull him closer. Your nails rake down his spine, gripping the red flannel of his shirt. He hisses at the red lines likely carving across his skin, but his eyes open to you. They’re wild, alive in a way you can’t be.

The scent of his blood is earthy, rich, tantalizing—too much to set aside. What your flesh wants is secondary to the kind of lust that courses through you, black ink of nightshade in your veins.

Your fangs descend on reflex.

Your head moves fast, but your heart manages to win out the slightest bit; your sharp teeth nearly break the skin of his shoulder instead of tearing at his jugular, the way your instincts demand. A visceral cry for blood is trapped painfully in your throat. Your heart tears even more when you realize that you’ve failed. You couldn’t keep yourself away. You couldn’t stop yourself from—

Dean’s grip tightens in your hair, but he doesn’t bother to try and pull you back.

He just jabs the needle into your neck.

A full dose of dark crimson liquid seeps into your sluggish veins, making you gasp in pure shock. Though, you really should’ve known. Dead Man’s Blood.

Your limbs quickly fall beyond your control, and you slump against his shoulder. Your eyes begin to close, no matter how hard you fight to flutter them open. You can still hear his heart beating wildly, even as he holds you.

“Thought you were gonna take a chunk outta me, huh?” he remarks, with a flash of his wry smile. “Well, it’s been tried.”

Still, there’s more tenderness in his calloused hand when he sweeps your hair away from your cheek. He looks down at you with a note of devastation, apology, regret…but also determination. It furrows his brows and presses his lips into a line.

He sits up with you gathered in his arms, and he swiftly carries you out of this terrible old shed. It was the only place you could find in the city to hide yourself, to keep you away from living, breathing, movable feasts.

“It’s okay, baby. We found the cure,” he says. His voice is firm, reassuring, if holding the remnants of grit. “We’re gonna fix this. Just hold on…”

Your eyes have closed against your will, but his voice manages to move your heart that one inch. Hope.

Just hold on…

AN: Finally something short from me, right? 😂 Though it's actually the first time I've written a vampire reader. Felt like that's where the moodboard was leading me. 👌🏽

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[directdogman]

Various God related questions:

Considering how both Gingi is a timeline anomaly, what is God’s actual thoughts on that? Does he appreciate having something he hasn’t seen before and isn’t able to predict? I know you mentioned it making him uneasy, but is there anything else that fuels that?

How did he become a hobo? Was it by choice, or did shit just kind of happen? Either way it is unfortunately very funny.

Are there any OTHER particularly Gingi-level-weird timeline specific events he’s witnessed? Whether they’re native to the playable DT or not

The relationship thing in his character sheet is SO upsetting so I’m asking a few in rapid succession here about that because I love this guy: Has he married anyone we get to MEET? Has he given up on that completely? Does he ever see himself being with anyone else (Would he ever consider pursuing a relationship with the player?), or is he content in platonic relationships? Does he feel the same sort of loneliness about getting along with the others?

Thank you I love him he looks like he smells like vomit and dumpster juice ✨🩷

I'll try to answer these without giving too much away. I have a few short stories I might write one day to answer one or two of these questions in more detail.

God does NOT appreciate Gingi's unpredictability and is more unnerved by Gingi than he lets on. There's some interesting underlying characterization that I made the decision not to have God express at any point outside of a few subtle hints, but his past experiences definitely give him a sort of bias both for/against Gingi's own struggles. There is another thing that fuels it, but that's a much longer topic.

The answer to this one kinda hinges on that other thing I didn't reveal. He's where he wants to be and there's a reason for it that he's smart enough not to state.

He's never seen anything exactly like Gingi before, but he has witnessed horrors beyond anything you and have seen, which he will never ever forget.

Think about the movies Groundhog Day or Highlander. The guy's aware that every relationship he forms is going to end with a definite loss. The guy hides it relatively well, but he's constantly aware of incoming loss and does his best to not think about it, being drunk constantly. He pushes people away because he thinks he has to, ironically, not unlikely Gingi at the start of the game. He definitely would not be interested in Gingi either.

God's kind of an odd character because he's not super relevant to the plot of DT, outside of his role as a bit character, but his odd relationship to time means he has information that nobody else in the cast (who's still around) is aware of. But, because of his tangential relevance, I don't use the character as much as the datables.

He is crafty, and can (somewhat) defend himself if his back is put up against a wall, but he's not at all powerful. As such, he plays his cards close to his chest and is generally distrustful of those around him. There's only one scene in the game where he relaxes and lets stuff slip (his behemoth of the scene on day 2 of Randy's route) and it's really the only scene in the game where he's genuinely honest. He can even acknowledge Gingi's status as a time anomaly directly in it, ofc.

There's a lot of unused God dialogue that talks about how DT's timelines are structured, what the fabric of space time is and even what God thinks of Gingi *exactly*, but it remains to be seen where (and if) I could use this stuff one day :)

[trainsinanime]

The darkly ironic thing is that if you are worried about the recent news that someone scraped Ao3 for AI research, then you're probably vastly underestimating the scale of the problem. It's way worse than you think.

For the record, a couple of days ago, someone posted a "dataset for AI research" on reddit, which was simply all publicly accessible works on Ao3, downloaded and zipped. This is good, in a way, because that ZIP file is blatantly illegal, and the OTW managed to get it taken down (though it's since been reuploaded elsewhere).

However, the big AI companies, like OpenAI, xAI, Meta and so on, as well as many you've never heard of, all probably had no interest in this ZIP file to begin with. That was only ever of interest to small-scale researchers. These companies probably already have all that data, received by scraping it themselves.

A lot of internet traffic at the moment is just AI companies sucking up whatever they can get. Wikipedia reports that about a third of all visitors are probably AI bots (and they use enormous amounts of bandwidth). A number of sites hosting software source code estimate that more than 90% of all traffic to their sites may be AI bots. It's all a bit fuzzy since most AI crawlers don't identify themselves as such, and pretend to be normal users.

The OTW hasn't released any similar data as far as I am aware, but my guess would be that Ao3 is being continuously crawled by all sorts of AI companies at every moment of the day. If you have a fanfic on Ao3, and it isn't locked to logged-in users only, then it's already going to be part of several AI training data sets. Only unlike this reddit guy, we'll never know for sure, because these AI training data sets won't be released to the public. Only the resulting AI models, or the chat bots that use these models, and whether that's illegal is… I dunno. Nobody knows. The US Supreme Court will probably answer that in 5-10 years time. Fun.

The solution I've seen from a lot of people is to lock their fics. That will, at best, only work for new fics and updates, it's not going to remove anything that e.g. OpenAI already knows.

And, of course, it assumes that these bots can't be logged in. Are they? I have no way of knowing. But if I didn't have a soul and ran an AI company, I might consider ordering a few interns to make a couple dozen to hundreds of Ao3 accounts. It costs nothing but time due to the queue system, and gets me another couple of million words probably.

In other words: I cannot guarantee that locked works are safe. Maybe, maybe not.

Also, I don't think there's a sure way to know whether any given work is included in the dataset or not. I suppose if ChatGPT can give you an accurate summary when you ask, then it's very likely to be in, but that's by no means a guarantee either way.

What to do? Honestly, I don't know. We can hope for AI companies to go bankrupt and fail, and I'm sure a lot of them will over the next five years, but probably not all of them. The answer will likely have to be political and on an international stage, which is not an easy terrain to find solutions for, well, anything.

Ultimately it's a personal decision. For myself, I think the joy I get from writing and having others read what I've written outweighs the risks, so my stories remain unlocked (and my blog posts as well, this very text will make its way into various data sets before too long, count on it). I can totally understand if others make other choices, though. It's all a mess.

Sorry to start, middle and end this on a downer, but I think it's important to be realistic here. We can't demand useful solutions for this from our politicians if we don't understand the problems.

[storiesfromafan]

She’s More Than A Best Friend

A/N: the long awaited part two of Just His Best Friend.

I am sorry it has taken me so long to write and post the follow up, that so many asked for. I struggled with how to write and start this, but every now and then I would get ideas and write it out.

This is shorter then the first part. But good news, I am going to do a third and final part!

Part one was the reader dealing with her feelings and all that. This is about Mattheo, his thoughts and feelings. Part Three will be it all coming out and happy end 😊 unless you dont want a happy ending...🤔😂

Warning/s: a few swear words, angsty, possible speeling/grammar mistakes.

Tag List: @simp-for-love @augiemyers79 @hatakemrs @hisparentsgallerryy @alwayslatetothefandoms @kikilee24 @minghaossv

He’d pushed you into the orbit of Kellen Barlowe. Mattheo knew it, but had hoped whatever happened between you two would have sorted itself out by now. And things would have gone back to how it had always been.

But no. Even though you were still friends, you began to spend more time with Barlowe. It had started out as a quick chat before or after meals, before leading to long study sessions in the library and hanging out with his group of friends.

It anger Mattheo, to the point anyone who he heard gossiping about you and the number one guy he hated, he would hex them. He grew irritated by the friendship you had with Barlowe.

Then he had seen it when crossing one of the courtyards. The both of you sitting under a tree talking away, when Barlowe had the nerve to push some of your hair back behind your ear. You had gotten all shy, while the boy making you blush smiled fondly at you.

Before he could reach for his wand, Theodore put an arm around his friend. Then dragged him away, halting Mattheo's malicious intent. While Lorenzo was walking beside them talking about something pointless, like they were acting normal, no murderous intent present. But all Mattheo saw was red.

Being practically dragged away from preying eyes, Theodore finally let Mattheo go when they reached a secluded area. Mattheo moved around in an angered fit, once freed. He was seething, not only from seeing you with Barlowe, but his two best mates dragging him away and not letting him get some justice.

“W-why did you do that!?” Mattheo roared turning around to glare at his friends. “Could you not see what I saw! Barlowe and (Y/N/N) together! And the audacity he had to push her hair back!”. A frustrated noise then came from his throat.

Theodore and Lorenzo shared a look, something Mattheo did notice and found infuriating. Which only intensified when they turned their gazes back to him. The unsure looks on their faces stunned him for a second, just a second.

“Look, mate...” began Lorenzo, putting on that calm voice he used to defuse the situation. “We get it...you hate Barlowe-”

“I fucking hate him" growled Mattheo.

“-Yeah, fucking hate him. But, you know...did you ever think about (Y/N/N)? How she would take you hexing him?” Lorenzo finished with a soft expression.

For a moment Mattheo stood there, blinking as those words slowly sunk in. How would you take him hexing Barlowe? Would you sit there, understandingly? Would you laugh and cheer him on, that’s what Mattheo hoped for. Would you be upset, and make your friendship more tense...

Taking a deep breath, Mattheo sighed, knowing the answer. “She wouldn’t like it...she’d probably hate me...”

The anger and fire in him diminished. His voice soft, realisation and sadness in his tone. His shoulders even slumping. Both Lorenzo and Theodore could see that their friend finally got it. He couldn’t go to war with Barlowe, or else he’d lose you.

Theodore placed a hand on Mattheo’s shoulder. “You finally get it, don’t you?”

Mattheo nodded. And silence sat between the three for a short while. Lorenzo waited, hoping Mattheo would speak more, open up to them. While Theodore was never one for such sappy moments. He didn’t like seeing his mate like this, but this also wasn’t his forte.

“Come on, let’s go prank some first and second years" Theodore spoke up, wanting to be anywhere else then here, as well as hoping to cheer his friend up by doing something else.

But Mattheo shook his head. “No...not in the moon. You both go...” he said softly, stepping back from his two best mates.

Lorenzo and Theodore shared another look, this one full of concern. But decided to give their friend space. With a few more words shared, both males left Mattheo. Who in turn decided to head back to their dorm room.

He took to deserted halls, less contact with people the better. Only dealing with the murmurs from passing paintings. Then he descended the stairs to the dungeons. Each step down was like descending into his own personal Hell.

Entering the Slytherin common room, he noted students sitting around and chatting away. He didn’t waste time making his way to the dorms, and slipping into him room.

The silence caused his ears to ring. The coolness of the room making the hairs on his arm rise. Sitting on the edge of his bed Mattheo sighed, head in his hands. His mind recalling the courtyard, you and Barlowe, and how sickening you were both together.

The image of him pushing back your hair, you all shy, and Barlowe's damn smile, it made him angry. Yet this time not as murderous. Because Mattheo wouldn’t want to upset you if he hurt the older boy. You probably wouldn’t forgive him, Mattheo knew that.

But it hurt. Seeing you and the one guy he hated so damn much, friends and possibly more. His brain told him to hex Barlowe, even punch him. While his heart said no, dont do it. (Y/N/N) would be upset...

Falling back on his bed, Mattheo let out an irritated groan. He was use to just flying off the handle, starting fights with people. Only for you to be the one to sooth him, to softly chastise him and pull him into line.

This time, if he truly followed his instincts, he could lose you...

“You know one of these days you’re going to pick a fight with the wrong person...” you sighed, cleaning Mattheo's knuckles.

He rolled his eyes and smirked. “So little faith in me (Y/N/N)?"

You rolled your eyes. “I’m just saying...the next guy you fight might actually hurt you" you chastised.

Mattheo laughed. “I’d like to see them try. I’m faster in duels, and can fist fight like a champ”.

You dabbed his wound a little hard, making Mattheo wince from the pressure and antiseptic ointment.

“Oh so tough" you teased.

“I’m the toughest...” pouted Mattheo before smiling. “No matter the fights I get into, you’ll always be here to fix me up, right?”

You nodded your head. “Yes, unfortunately...”

That brief memory came to Mattheo's mind. The words from you both from second year haunting him. For you had been there every time he was scuffed or bruised, to tend to him and chastise him.

But this time, if he fought Barlowe, he knew you wouldn’t be there to fix him up. You’d choose your side, Barlowe's side.

Mattheo sighed as he laid there, looking up at the canopy of his bed. His heart was aching, he felt hopeless. And it was because he knew the truth.

Mattheo Riddle was in love with you.

Apart of him always knew it. But his brain would kill the thoughts. Chalking it up to being a worrying best friend. When it was a way to deny the truth.

And why? Fear. Fear of hurting you, hurting your friendship. Fear of letting someone so close to him, to know the real Mattheo. The Mattheo with such a troubled home life, the darkness within him.

You were pure, a light in darkness. A rare find in a Slytherin, but you were a beacon. And Mattheo knew he could ruin that. Nor did he want too.

So he became a playboy, different girl every few days to a week. Flirting relentlessly, making out with whomever. Never letting anyone closer than arm’s length. Except you, you were half an arm’s length from him, because he wanted you a little closer than the rest.

But look where it’s gotten him. Angry, hurt and scared. Angry because he’d let Barlowe get close to you. Hurt because your friendship was rocky. And scared, because he was losing you...

That beacon of light and hope fading out, bound to leave Mattheo in his darkness.

It’s what I deserve... he told himself. You deserve better.

In that moment Mattheo knew what he had to do. As your best friend he had to swallow his hate for Barlowe, and accept the friendship between you to. And if you ended up with him, Mattheo would be there.

Because he had to let you go. To find what makes you happy. And if it was Kellen Barlowe, Mattheo would support you. As a best friend would. Even if it killed him...

[dandysworld-meh-imagines]

Bassie x reader please? She’s my favorite out of the Easter toons! :D

Bassie X Reader Headcanons!

She's also my favorite out of the Easter toons! I totally didn't expect her personality to be like this, she really needs a hug sobs. She's the last one I need next to Bobette and Astro!! Here you go, dear! Thank you for requesting! <3

I'm also taking this chance to say that you all can now request for the Easter toons!! Twisted or not! I think I have an okay grasp on them to write now (though I might make mistakes)!! The masterlist got some upgrade too, hehe.

-Anna

-Oh, how she loves spending time with you! She feels herself feeling calm and smiling more often when you are around. It really helps with her overthinking or when she is feeling tense and anxious for seemingly no reason. At first, Bassie will never make it known that she fears being replaced, she always avoids it and avoids bringing it up. Laughing a bit too much if something like that comes up or you want to spend time with her and not Cocoa for example.

-She doesn't hate Cocoa, but her fear makes her act cold to her, she doesn't want her help, she doesn't need it, she's independent enough! It makes her calm down when you come to her for help or to spend time with her, she might feel happy enough to laugh a bit too much. It kinda was rubbing you off the wrong way but at the end, maybe you figured out that's how she was, the feeling in your stomach never left though. Asking her if she was alright would just make her have this forced smile as she reassures you that she is perfect fine.

-Pressing flowers together with her makes her feel the calmest, she loves doing that with you and it's when you noticed that she's acting more calmer, happier. It gets you to think a lot but for now, you are just happy to spend time with her, you really do love her, after all! Even her words are more firm and stable as she talks to you, she has this calming and warm aura around her that you adore. It's also nice if Flyte joins you two! Everyone has a good time as they press on flowers and do all sorts of cool things with them! Bassie loves to collect the ones you did, it makes her feel warm inside, it helps with the anxiety.

-When you accept Cocoa's offer for help or just spend time with her, Bassie feels nervous but she totally understands. She knows she might not be as helpful as Cocoa, who has a lot of experience helping others and was so kind to ask everyone if they needed anything, because she could help them. When you come back to Bassie, you do notice the nervous expression on her face as she looks away. Trying to comfort her in any way would make her try to convince you that she is totally fine! Nothing wrong! She totally isn't stuttering trying to convince you otherwise, nope!

-Sometimes the fear becomes too much that she can't keep it together and she cries to you or even on you if you hold her close. She breaks down for a good while in silence, she feels pathetic and wishes that she could just be as good as Cocoa, she is afraid of getting replaced, on relying on others yet she was here, sobbing in your arms, she felt ashamed. When she recovers a bit is when she doesn't care anymore and tells you what she has been feeling all this time, she is afraid, she doesn't know what to do to be better and better and be actually worthy of the title "main" toon.

-You try your best to be here for her whenever she needs. Bassie wants to get better and stronger and you do your best to help her. She really appreciates it and also is happy for your advice that you give her, she wants to take it well and remember it desperately when she starts to struggle with her thoughts on things. She tries hard not to let her fears get the best of her but please give her some time, hold her well if she starts breaking down again. You really do see her try better and that to get over them and feel like a proper main toon without any of those difficulties.

-Affection gets her very shy, flustered or even tense but she quickly relaxes enough to lean against your side. You still remember the first time you ever held hands or even left a kiss somewhere on her face, you watched as she felt very flustered, her face red as she hid it with her hands, refusing to look at you for a good while. She is more comfortable now and doesn't shy away as much, even leaning against your gentle touch in this comforting silence. If you don't mind, you can talk and she will quietly listen to your every word as those scary thoughts go away.

-Bassie really likes all the gifts you give her and she keeps them safe somewhere, making sure nothing would ever harm them. She tries making you gifts as well, they are more flower related things but she can also try her best to make them related to your interests! She feels warm and smiles if you enjoy them and thank her, she feels like she did a good job. She just hopes you like the other future gifts she will make for you.

-She really loves it when you two sit on the grass on the Easter map, just enjoying the view or even watching the others run around and many more, hunting eggs or just relaxing like the two of you. You two can also try an egg hunt together! Either alone or together as you explore around, will you two best Eggson? Only one way to find out! She loves doing things together with you and having fun like this makes her feel nice. Even just sitting close to you in the grass as you count the eggs you found makes her smile.

-She really hopes that you also don't replace her for another lover, it's something she fears even more than being replaced as a main toon. You mean so much to her and you are the one that helps her feel slowly more confident and that about herself. Bassie truly does appreciate you a lot and she loves you so much, she hopes you can see that even if she can be quite a mess. You help ground her and she wants to do her absolute best for you and for her to keep the main title. You make her feel happy and she wouldn't know what to do without you in her life, she hopes you see the day where she is strong enough to only stand up by herself.

Thank you for requesting! <3

[tanobatcher]

heyyy!! I have a request for hunter x fem!reader. i'd love something sort of soft and domestic, taking place after the bad batch finale where they've settled down on pabu together. hunter's just gotten out of the shower, and reader is already in bed waiting for him. but when he walks in the room, all relaxed and shirtless with his curls still wet (literally screaming rn just thinking of it), and she can like absolutely not look at him. like, she knows if she makes eye contact she'll go into full flustered mode. Blushing, giggling, kicking her feet type of feel. she just adores how he looks like that, and it's honestly unfair how gorgeous he is 🥲. it'd also be cute if Hunter notices she's acting weird and he gently teases her about it and she tries (but totally fails) to keep it cool. just something fluffy and intimate, with warm vibes, soft teasing, and maybe a kiss or two at the end? thank you!! 💛

this had me blushing, giggling, and kicking my feet too ehehe hope u enjoy and ty for this <3 apologies for the delay, i had such a busy week!!

shower thoughts

hunter x fem reader

summary: your nerves are hard to handle during a cozy night in with hunter.

warnings: none!!

a/n: i'm ngl i always listen to lana del rey while writing him

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚

Hunter’s helmet is a lot heavier than you expected. It doesn’t fit quite well in your hands, too large and bulky for the right grip. Still, your fingers try to follow the lines crossing the dark, worn-out plastoid like veins devoid of blood. You haven’t asked him much about where he comes from—the life he’s escaped from—and you’re not sure if you can handle the answer. Maybe one day, when the days have long been spent on Pabu as time heals old wounds, he’ll speak. And you’ll listen.

The faint sound of running water from the next room over trickles into a tapping rhythm, stirring your attention from your queries. Within a few minutes that aren’t enough to let you catch your breath, the bedroom door opens slowly but steadily. Your instinct is to look up and smile, happy that he’s returned to your company. But that expression quickly fades when you drink in his presence—his appearance—just everything that he is.

He’s standing tall in nothing but loose sleeping pants hung low around his waist, about to step inside as he pushes some wet hair out of his face with a calloused hand. If he notices that you’re frozen and staring, he doesn’t say anything until he crosses the distance toward his bed, where you’re comfortably tangled in his sheets. A burning flush stings your face, becoming an itch that can’t be scratched with mere fingernails. Quickly averting your gaze from him, you stare into the black visors of his helmet and hear your heartbeat pound even louder when he asks, “What do you have there?”

“I was just looking,” you explain apologetically, “You left your case open, so…”

He’s in front of you now, looming over your figure as if waiting for you to meet his eyes. When you don’t, he simply takes the helmet from your lap and turns around to put this old relic away. You catch sight of some water droplets clinging to his bare skin as he crouches before tugging out a large case from a corner that has already started to collect dust. His back is turned to you, flexing with his movements. You watch his arms open up the top, feeling even more at risk of embarrassing yourself with every rippling evidence of his perfection.

“Um…I’m sorry,” you begin rambling, cringing at how nervous you sound, “I didn’t mean to go through your stuff like that. I was just curious…I’ve never seen something like this up close before…”

He takes a moment to observe the contents of this case—the rest of his armor—before shutting the top with a definitive click. “Don’t apologize.”

His voice sends shivers down your spine, only heightening the butterflies giggling and spiraling in your stomach. It’s like they’re echoing through your insides, distracting you from his next question.

“Sorry—what was that?” You laugh quietly, tucking your knees under your chin as he stands and steps closer to you again, “I wasn’t—I didn’t hear you.”

He cocks his head to the side a bit, staring you down with an amused smile. “I asked if you’re feeling better.”

“Oh…yeah,” you answer, “I was just tired before.”

“What about now?” He steps even closer, and his eyes flick between your face and your legs as you tighten your body together, “Still tired?”

“No!” You respond in an effort to sound normal, but it only comes across as more panicked.

He chuckles under his breath and brings the back of his hand toward your forehead. You’re about to exhale a breath until he slides his touch down to your cheeks, skimming across your jawline like he’s teasing you.

“You’re a little warm,” he points out as his hand retreats.

“It’s warm in here,” is all you can squeak out when you realize you’re at eye level with his abdomen. You feel as if he’s waiting for the right moment to pounce, drawing out your nerves just to consume them.

“Yeah?” He considers your response, “I can—”

“Are you going to put a shirt on?” you blurt out.

His head snaps in your direction, clearly surprised, but all that’s written on his face is something too mischievous for your comfort. He leans over the bed, over you, planting both hands around your body as he cages you into an inescapable position. It’s slow but deliberate, letting the tips of your noses touch for a fleeting second that leaves you breathless.

“Why?” He studies you closely, tilting his head.

You don’t speak, afraid the stammers bubbling behind your lips will slip out.

“I’m not…” he leans forward, “…making you uncomfortable, am I?”

His lips brush over yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. You swallow the lump in your throat and try to level your expression, wanting to appear as unbothered as him. It’s not easy, though. Not when it’s him.

“No,” you whisper unconvincingly.

“You sure?” He lowers his mouth to your jawline, and you melt despite how lightly he kisses you there. Your hands tentatively squeeze his upper arms, hoping to use him for stability even though he’s the reason you feel like you’re floating off the ground.

“No,” you say again.

He laughs and climbs into bed, rolling you on top of him so that you’re chest to chest in his arms. The change is so sudden that you squeal a little, and your following laugh meshes with his behind the doors you wish could stay closed forever. Being here with him is the bliss you’ve been searching for your whole life, and little do you know that he just might feel the same. Thinking about this only warms your insides even more, though. You suddenly bury your face in his chest, unable to control the humiliating blush that can’t seem to go away.

“Hey,” he murmurs, “Look at me.”

Inhaling a deep breath, you slip away from his embrace and turn over onto your side, away from him.

“What’s wrong?” He questions through a slight chuckle that tells you he knows exactly what’s wrong. His hand slides up your torso, tugging so that you’ll turn back around. You’re fully aware that he can just make you, but he doesn’t.

“Nothing,” you mumble.

“Then come here,” he insists.

“I am here.”

He sighs, and the conversation pauses for a moment that makes you believe he might just let you off the hook for this one. You’re proven wrong when he moves over you, now face to face, as he pulls you into him. You shift under the covers a little more, hiding slightly despite throwing your leg over his side. And even though you haven’t mustered the courage to look him in the eye again, you simply breathe in the fact that you’re just holding each other through your wild nerves. His arms feel so strong, so right when they’re around you. This truth only brings a smile to your lips, which he unsurprisingly catches.

“Something funny?”

You shake your head. “No.”

“Is that the only thing you’re going to say to me?”

Your smile widens. “No?”

He rolls his eyes before setting his jaw, both expressions of exasperation that you’ve seen many times before. What’s unpredictable, though, is the moment he leans forward and kisses you slowly. Your body molds further into his as you push your hands through his hair, still damp and heavy from his shower. It’s also soft like his lips, reminding you that he’s your warmest source of comfort above anything else. Your faces are still pressed together when he pulls away with hardly any distance, just enough to tell you, “Relax. I won’t bite.”

You blush and press your thumb into his bottom lip. “Sure you won’t.”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

He takes your hand and drapes it across his hair again, like a telling sign he wants you to keep touching him there. So you do, running your fingers back and forth while occasionally applying a little more pressure to your nails. His eyes flutter shut, calming his expression, other than the small smile that remains attached to the mouth that just kissed you. It’s like you’re given some more space to breathe now that you’re looking at him without his returning stare. Exhaling softly, your hand travels downward and caresses the side of his tattoo. The angular ridge of his cheekbones. The faded scars through his stubble. You touch it all so gently that he feels safe enough to fall asleep, which you believe he is, until he murmurs something under his breath. Leaning closer, you hear him say, “I want you in my bed every night. Can you do that for me?”

An excited flare brings a quiet laugh to your response. “Only if you ask nicely.”

He grins with his eyes still closed and turns so that he’s lying on his back now, bringing you with him toward his chest. You hear his heartbeat against your ear, and you can’t help but press your face into him even more to hear it louder. To feel it closer.

“That was me asking nicely,” he says, kissing the top of your head.

“I figured,” you yawn, settling yourself in his arms, “But yeah. I can do that for you.”

He reaches for your jaw, caressing it lightly as he replies, “I’m glad.”

You hardly notice that the tumultuous butterflies in your stomach have calmed to a silent pause, replaced with a comfortable serenity you wouldn’t trade for the world. Your pulse still quickens when he touches you, but you’re not nearly as nervous as you were before. It happened much faster than you could perceive. Or, maybe, it was so slow that you missed the way this homely feeling snuck into your heart like a child tiptoeing through a sleeping household. Exhilarating, but quiet. You like that, just as you like him. The light shuts off, and his room darkens as you drop a kiss to his chest right above his heartbeat before smoothing over the same spot with your palm.

“Me too.”

[kuroposting]

Branching off this post a bit, specifically Sebastian as the big bad wolf, there was something I noticed from using google translate on chapter 107.

I cannot tell you if these are more accurate or not, I cannot read Japanese. I’m also fairly sure that there is no official translation of the special chapter following the murder arc, which is what I’m going to compare it to:

This part of Sebastian that seems genuinely impulsed to shield himself from these sorts of accusations and take pride (or at least find validation in?) the excuse that it’s all Ciel’s choice; Ciel knows his true nature, yet he still chooses to ally himself and depend on him anyway. I’ve never been able to decipher if it is Yana using Sebastian’s voice to tell the reader how we are supposed to understand their dynamic as a rule, or if it is truly Sebastian’s cope. She has said a couple of times that he is incapable of shame and he’s said that he’s incapable of emotions, and I don’t know, it could just be poor writing on her part- I never thought of him as having the same characterization as Ryuk from Death Note. He does not seem detached, and I don’t know why he has such a habit of being defensive or annoyed when he’s perceived as some sleaze with the qualities you’d expect from somebody who prides themselves on being, well, devilish.

It would be pretty boring if it turned out to just be Yana’s cope instead of Sebastian’s. For a manga that harps on Facing Truth vs Willful Ignorance to allow its most smug, nihilistic character to never be challenged with self reflection and still win in the end. I think Ciel has to constantly contend with it- more than even the readers have, since I still see the most popular takeaway from the Green Witch Arc to be “Sebastian doesn’t care, he only wants Ciel’s soul.” all these years later. I still have a post about that in my drafts that I’m struggling to condense. Basically, with themes like these, it’s all too reassuring to have a premise spelled out to you which 1. Gives you permission to victim-blame Ciel for the sake of having this premise and 2. Tells you point blank not to think twice about any of it’s characterizations, just take them at face value.

Rereading Chapter 35 on black-butler.net, there was a subtitle that I hadn’t seen before

I would appreciate it if anybody had more information on that, like if it was in the japanese version when it was originally published in square’s magazine, or something.

…

I think the true development is that Ciel continues to make strides in accepting himself and Sebastian for what they are, but that never has to dictate WHO they can become- what choices they can still make. Much like all of his servants and allies. No matter how far gone and irredeemable Ciel believes himself to be, he is still giving orders like this:

He is not descending into the depths of depravity, his humanity has resilience. It continues to expand, beyond his capabilities of even the earliest chapters. So much that it even extends to Sebastian.

Which I don’t expect to be something that Sebastian has no appreciation of. Going back to where I started, with chapter 107, some humility and compassion was all Sebastian was asking for.

[duskvsdawn]

Hi! Could I request 3 and 25 with Shu, please? Thank you so much!! I really enjoy your writing!!

≫ A/N: Hey, of course :) I decided to combine the two of them, because somehow it just seemed right? I hope that's okay :)

CW: female reader, smut after angst, reader gets chased by a gang that has ill intentions (mentions of them wanting to rape you), Shu takes care of them and it gets gory, Shu takes you to his home afterwards, where he comforts you. Shu is a bit worried and depressed about losing you. You eventually end up in his bed, where you give him your very first time, even though that part is smutty, it's so sweet it gives me diabetes as I'm writing it.

Art credits.

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If you like my works, please like, comment and reblog! It is much appreciated ❤ And if you really enjoyed it, please follow me so you can be kept up to date on future uploads!

My world would be empty without you

It was late at night when you were walking home after you had been at a club with your friends. You were all dolled up, and you did feel a bit exposed, but not too bad. At least, not so far. You had assured your friends it would be fine since the walk to your house wasn't that far. This part of town could be dangerous for women who walked home alone, but you had never been harassed before. Until today.

You walked past an alleyway where a group of men were hanging out. They craned their heads to look at you and catcalled you to hell and back. But then, anxiety rose in you even more when you noticed they started following you. You tried to take a massive detour to your house to hopefully shake them off, but they kept following you. The panic increased when a few of them had gotten even closer to you, making comments about how "you're such a hot piece of ass" and "they would rape you until you bled". In your panic, you decided to call your boyfriend, Shu.

"Shu... I am being followed by a group of men. And they don't mean well in the slightest," you said as your voice hitched, trying to hold back tears of anxiety. "I'll be right there. Don't worry, love, I'll take care of it," your boyfriend replied, and then he hung up. You looked at your phone in confusion, but you knew he would be there in a flash. And you were right. After just a tiny bit more walking, Shu suddenly teleported next to you, kind of catching you off guard, but when you saw it was him, relief instantly washed over you.

The two of you stood still and turned around. The men just looked at Shu like some sort of god had descended upon them, but at the same time, they knew it wasn't in their favour. Shu's beautiful purple eyes started to glow as his flames appeared behind him. Two of the men swallowed with difficulty and were getting ready to run. But Shu wasn't going to let them go anywhere.

"So... You think you can harass my girl, hm? Tell you what, you caught me in a bad mood. You are not getting out of here alive," your boyfriend said as he raised one hand. It was so strange to see your usually quiet and composed boyfriend like this, but you meant the world to him, and he wasn't going to let these guys get away with it. One of the guys turned around to start running, but with his raised hand, Shu pulled him back towards himself and threw him against a wall nearby with so much force that the dude pretty much exploded. The others had a feeling they wouldn't survive this, but they still ran towards Shu to try and take him down. Shu raised his hands once more and aimed at one of the men, twisting them to snap the man's neck. He threw one of the men up so high and then let him fall to the ground, dying on impact when he hit the streets below. Only one more man left, and he stood no chance. Shu moved him closer, and, balling his fist, the guy's head exploded.

You were both covered in blood, and the scene before you was so grotesque that you were close to passing out. Shu snapped his fingers, and all the blood and bodies were gone, as if nothing had ever happened. He then turned around to face you and wrapped his arms around you.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, my love. I just get really angry when people mess with you. I'm sorry I lost my cool because of it," the sorcerer said with an apologetic smile as he kissed the tip of your nose. You sniffled into his shoulder, not sure if it was all the built-up tension leaving you, the fact that your boyfriend would go to such lengths for you, or both. "I don't feel safe going home now... Can I... Can I sleep at your place tonight?" you asked as you wiped the tears from your eyes. "Of course, my love. Take my hand. I will take us home," your boyfriend replied. You did as he asked, and when you did, he teleported both of you over to his house.

The two of you ended up in his living room, on the couch. Shu went to get you some water as you sat there on the couch, trying to process everything that had just happened. You had never seen Shu so... Unhinged before. But you felt honoured that you meant so much to him that he would literally kill anyone who would even want to hurt you in any way, shape or form. Shu came back with the water and sat down next to you after he had handed it to you. You downed it all in one go, and the two of you just sat there in awkward silence for a little bit. You couldn't believe that the sorcerer did all of that, but when you were about to say something about it, your boyfriend spoke up.

"I don't know what came over me. Seeing you in danger, I just got so angry... I'm normally not like this at all. But I can't have you hurt. You mean the world to me, and seeing you get hurt and not doing anything about it would absolutely kill me..." your boyfriend said as he was holding back tears, the thoughts of losing you plaguing his mind. "Maybe we should go to bed. I think this is enough excitement for one evening..." you said, trying to lighten the mood. Your boyfriend hummed in response, and the both of you headed up the stairs. You threw off your dress as you borrowed one of Shu's shirts to sleep in. You washed the makeup off your face, and you lay down next to him. Your boyfriend was staring at the ceiling, hands folded under his head, the thoughts of seeing you hurt not leaving him anytime soon. You cuddled up to your boyfriend, putting your head on his chest as you left a kiss on it.

"I admit, it was all a bit scary. But really, thank you. Thank you for protecting me. I have no idea what would have happened if you weren't there, but I know it would have been much more traumatising than seeing you absolutely slaughter those guys," you said, leaving another kiss on his chest before burying your face in his neck to smell his scent. Musky, calming, and comforting. Eventually, the sorcerer wrapped his arms around you and left a kiss on the top of your head.

"I love you, reader. I love you so much. If only I could properly show you how much I love you..." your boyfriend whispered the last part, trailing off. You lifted your head to look at him questioningly, wondering what he meant by that. "Properly show me?" you parroted, and your boyfriend nodded in response. Your boyfriend took a deep breath before speaking up. "I... I would really love to show you how much I truly love you... If you... If you get what I mean..." the sorcerer said as he turned his head away from you, a blush appearing on his face. The gears in your head started turning, and then you realised what he had meant by saying that. You blushed just as much as him at this point, trying to come up with words, but random stutters were all you managed.

"I... I can imagine you wouldn't possibly want to even think about this tonight. It's been eventful for sure. and uh... I also know it would be your first time. But when you are ready, I would love to give you all the love I have to give to you," your boyfriend said, barely above a whisper. You had no idea what came over you, but you started leaving more kisses on his chest and some on his neck and face as well. Shu gently took hold of your head and kissed you deeply. Deeply and hungrily after all the other kisses you had left on his body. You sat on top of your boyfriend, leaning over to share an intense and intimate French kiss.

"You know... We really don't have to do this now. I don't want you to feel forced into doing something you're not comfortable with," your boyfriend said, as one hand reached up to tuck some hair behind your ear. "I... I want to do this for you. I'm really nervous, but I know you will make it awesome. I'm not afraid of pain or discomfort, because if it happens, I know it will get better after some time. Every first for anything can be scary, but I know it will be okay," you said with a loving smile as you left another kiss on his neck. Your boyfriend nodded and asked you to lie down on your back for him, and you did as you were asked.

"Hmm, I wonder... How far have you gone on your own before?" your boyfriend asked you as he lifted the shirt up to under your breasts so he could leave some kisses on your stomach. "I, uh... I have done quite a few things on my own, so it isn't entirely new to me... But, uh... I've never had anything bigger than fingers inside of me before," you said with a massive blush as you looked down at your boyfriend. You decided to give him more of a view, so you sat up to take off the shirt, and it landed on the bed next to you. "That's good to know," your boyfriend said as his mouth found your nipple to suck on it. "Then it shouldn't be too painful for you," your boyfriend continued as his other hand gently twisted your other nipple. You threw your head back since a mouth on your nipple was definitely new to you. You didn't have much to offer in the boob department, but Shu didn't mind in the slightest, touching them and sucking on them, basically worshipping them.

"How about we take these off?" your boyfriend asked as he hooked his fingers underneath the hem of your panties. You nodded your head and lifted your butt so he could pull them down, landing next to his own shirt. "I want to see more of you, too..." you whispered as your own fingers hooked underneath the elastic of Shu's sweatpants. The sorcerer hummed in response and got busy taking his pants off. You had seen him in just underwear before, and it wasn't the first time you had seen or felt his boner through it either, since the two of you had cuddled up in his or your bed plenty of times, sometimes getting a bit handsy.

"What do you want me to do, sweetheart?" Shu asked as he got between your legs, letting a single digit run up your folds. "Want... Want to feel your mouth... please..." you whispered as your hands found his hair and you let his raven locks run through your fingers. Your boyfriend chuckled and said, "You got it, princess." Your boyfriend licked up and down your folds, occasionally taking your clit in his mouth to suck on it. You threw your head back as your grip on his hair tightened. His tongue felt like heaven against your folds, and his lips around your clit felt like absolute bliss. To make it even better, two fingers entered you to rub at your g-spot. With his fingers inside of you and his lips wrapped around your clit, it wouldn't take you long to slowly but surely get closer and closer. Your moans became higher in pitch, and your grip on his locks tightened once more, pulling on them hard. Your boyfriend took it as a sign that he was doing a good job, so he kept doing the exact same thing to hopefully push you over the edge soon. Trapping his head between your thighs, you let out a strangled moan as you came all over his lower face. The muscles in your body relaxed as your head fell back once more, and you struggled to catch your breath.

Your boyfriend crawled up to eye level with you to leave some gentle kisses on your jawline. "How do you feel, darling?" your boyfriend asked you as he got busy with sucking a hickey beneath your ear. "Feels so good..." you replied, slightly slurred due to the afterglow taking you over. "But I want more of you. Want you to feel good too..." you continued as you gently took his face in your hands to leave a hungry kiss on your boyfriend's lips. Your boyfriend chuckled and asked you if you were ready for more. You whispered a soft "yes" as your answer. Shu knew you were on the pill, but he wanted to ask you if you wanted him to use a condom anyway. "No, that's okay. I want to feel all of you..." you replied with a dreamy sigh, thinking about how good it was going to feel to have him inside of you, and to have his cum paint your walls white. You were getting ahead of yourself, but you knew all your dreams were coming true soon enough.

Your boyfriend moved between your legs after taking off his underwear. You looked at his dick and curiously admired it for a little bit. It looked so smooth and beautiful to you, the tip a pretty pink colour with precum seeping out of it. You wondered what it would taste like. Shu saw you staring at him as he was chewing his bottom lip, the curious and enthusiastic glint in your eyes so motivating to him. "Whatcha looking at, darling? Do you want to touch it?" your boyfriend asked as he took one of your hands in his and guided it down his body. You sat up so you could reach him better, gently wrapping your hand around his member. Shu let out a shaky breath as you started moving your hand up and down, motivating you by saying, "That's it darling... Mmm feels good... But I know it will feel even better inside of you." Your blush spread to your ears when those words left his lips as your index finger played with the slit to collect some precum on it. You brought your finger closer to your mouth to lick it clean. It was an... Interesting taste. It wasn't gross per se, but it definitely didn't taste that great either.

Your boyfriend chuckled when he saw your face contort into several different expressions, saying, "Don't worry darling, in due time you will get used to the taste. Now then, I think it's about time we go for the main course, what do you think? Because I know I can't wait any longer." the sorcerer said as he gently pushed you on your back again, getting between your legs once more. You nodded and wrapped your arms around your lover to pull him closer to you. Your boyfriend rubbed his dick on your folds a few times to collect some slick, and then proceeded to slowly push inside of you. A gasp left your mouth as you felt you were being stretched so far, you had no idea it would ever even fit in there. When your boyfriend bottomed out, he asked you if it hurt and if you were okay. "No, it doesn't really hurt. It does feel kind of strange, though. But it feels so good already, and you've barely even done anything," you say with a shaky exhale of breath as you pull the sorcerer even closer to you. "Please move... I want more, please..." you plead, and your boyfriend is happy to oblige.

Shu starts with some shallow thrusts at first, constantly keeping a close eye on your expressions to see if you're okay. Soon enough, your face contorts into a pleasured expression, and you beg him to give you even more. He'll let you get away with bossing him around this once, but next time, he is going to straight up ruin you the second he enters you. As the sorcerer's thrusts become even deeper and faster, your moans get even louder, and the grip on his back becomes tighter. He can feel the delicious sting of your nails digging into his back, and in this moment, he feels so connected to you. He feels the happiest he has ever felt, with you in his arms, showing each other the ultimate act of pure devotion, and he feels honoured that he is allowed to be your first. Words of adoration and pure love keep spilling from his lips.

"I love you so much... You feel so good, my love... You feel so, so good... Gosh, I love you so darn much... My world would be nothing without you..." Your boyfriend keeps gushing as he leaves heated kisses and nibbles on your neck. You can do nothing but reply with moans of pure ecstasy as you keep telling him how much you love him, too. The sound of skin slapping combined with the words he speaks to you between moans makes it all that much more intense for you, and you can feel you are getting closer to the edge. Your boyfriend notices that your moans become more desperate, but he wants to give you the most intense orgasm he can. One hand sneaks in between the two of you, a slender finger playing with your clit for extra stimulation. Your moans become impossibly louder, and your orgasm approaches you like a freight train as you wrap your legs even tighter around his hips, essentially trapping him between your legs. The sorcerer's hips begin to stutter as he approaches his own orgasm, licking and biting at your ear to give you that final tiny push you needed. With a scream of his name, you fall apart, your release so intense that you cover his hips with it. Seeing you cum so hard was your boyfriend's undoing, unloading himself inside of you with a desperate moan of your name. Your boyfriend ever so elegantly collapses on top of you, continuously whispering how much he loves you like a mantra. It felt a bit heavy with the sorcerer on top of you, but at the same time, it felt so comforting and pleasant. Your legs landed back on the bed as you kept holding him tightly in your arms.

"Did I do okay?" your boyfriend asked you as he left a loving kiss on top of your nose. "Are you fucking kidding me? This was... absolutely perfect..." you admitted as you kissed his lips with all the love you could. Your boyfriend got off of you, pulling out of you as he did so, to lie down next to you. You turned on your flank to be the little spoon, and your boyfriend quickly slotted himself against you after he wrapped both of you in his blanket. A satisfied sigh left your mouth as you told your boyfriend how much you loved him and thanked him once more for everything he did for you tonight. "You are so incredibly welcome, my love. I would do anything for you, always. My world would be empty without you," your boyfriend replied as he left some gentle kisses on your shoulder blade.

[jacksonekennedy]

Jack hoped that Alice understood how sincere his statement had been. He hadn’t described it very well either, but … Jack remembered feeling in awe of Alice, wishing that he could write something half as good as the things she said. He watched as Alice gripped the chair, wondering what exactly she was thinking, wishing he could live inside of her brain in that moment.

There was something in her eyes. Emotion. Jack swallowed. Something told him that she understood, and that she’d taken his words to heart. She thanked him, and Jack shook his head. She never had to thank him.

He was just telling the truth.

Jack watched as Alice processed through his own admission. His heart was racing because he hadn’t said those words out loud, to anyone, and he’d just offered them up to a stranger. He trusted Alice not to use it against him, not to mention it in the article.

Maybe he was naive.

"Yeah, but you're not going to."

A very strong emotion stirred in his chest. Jack winced, looked away, at the pool. It still shimmered even in the near-dark.

She’d said it so confidently, without thinking, that it really took Jack by surprise. Made him emotional, in a funny way because — well. When was the last time anyone had that sort of blind confidence in him? When was the last time someone hadn’t felt so disappointed in him? Maybe when he was running for office, making all these promises to his supporters that he’d really intended to keep. But life. It got messy and complicated and Jack had let them all down.

There was something in her eyes then, too. Empathy, he thought. Like she was hurting just because he was. She reached forward, wrapping her fingers around his wrist, and Jack wished they weren’t so far away again. She squeezed before letting go. Jack sighed, stared at his wrist a little sadly.

"I know you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I know this is getting dragged out in the most torturous way... but you're not."

Alice went on to talk about all of the other horrible people in the country. Crooked politicians with corrupt morals. He’d heard stories, prayed that he didn’t end up like them. She seemed so sure that Jack wasn’t like them, but … she didn’t really know him, did she?

There were still things that Alice didn’t know about Jack. Things that, miraculously, hadn’t made their way into the press. Yet. Shameful, hurtful things that he’d done. Things that … he’d probably do again, given the chance, even if he wouldn’t admit that to himself. Even if he swore that he didn’t have a problem. Even if he pretended not to panic when he misplaced his oxycodone.

There was a time that Jack had dropped the very last pill that he had, lost somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. He’d spent forty five minutes tearing the room apart, moving furniture and lifting mattresses, until he found it, rolled beneath his nightstand. At least he'd wiped it off before popping the pill into his mouth.

He laid on his bedroom floor until the high kicked in. And when it did — he swore he’d never felt anything as good.

Would she feel the same about him if she knew that?

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” he told Alice. “There’s other stuff. I don’t know.”

Jack paused.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” he repeated, a little more solemnly this time. Jack supposed it was time to face the music. Karmically, he deserved everything that was happening to him, besides Alice.

That was one thing he hadn’t deserved.

Jack leaned forward again, elbows on the table. He sighed, pressing the palms of his head into his eyelids.

He didn’t want to ruin this night. He wasn’t going to. Not when she looked like that.

“It’ll be okay, though,” he finally said, even if he didn’t sound too convinced. “It’ll work out the way it’s supposed to.”

Jack finally looked across to Alice, smiling gently.

“You’re really nice though. To say all of that stuff. Thank you.”

Jack drank the last of his wine, eyed the bottle. Another glass wouldn’t hurt. He filled his glass, looked to Alice.

“More?” He asked. “And it’s your turn. To share anything. Everything,” he clarified.

Alice felt a little funny— her chest felt like it was all wobbly inside after sharing this with Jack, unsteady like laminated paper.

Not that she thought he would judge her. Or say something rude. But Alice hadn't really shared this with anyone, apart from her mother, when it had been really bad, so sharing it felt like excavating something deep.

But she was glad she did. It felt right, and it was right— especially when Jack responds.

'I’m glad you don’t feel that way anymore,'

'But I understand, I think. I’ve felt that way before.'

Her brows furrow. It wasn't a nice thought; thinking that Jack had experienced this kind of dissatisfaction and sense of confusion too. But there was a strange sort of comfort in knowing he understood. That he was looking at Alice and not thinking she was just whining about nothing. Being angsty, a self-absorbed artist.

No. Jack seems to understand.

But then he offers her something.

Jack gives her a gift as plainly as if he'd extended it to her in tissue paper and a gleaming plastic bag.

'Maybe not on the same level, but earlier today? When you talked about domed roofs in Mykonos and Aegean blue and fluorite gems…'

Alice's eyes zero in on his mouth; not quite a grin, or a pout, but something else.

'It was visible to me,'

'Tangible. Felt like I was holding it in my chest.'

Her hands fix around the chairs arms, and she squeezes, hard, very hard, because Jack's words have made her feel light-headed and she feels very certain if she lets go she's going to float up into the atmosphere.

Maybe even burn up.

She felt burning now— the sun had already set, would Jack be able to see the red on her face? So many times, Alice considered her audience, but considered self-satisfaction to be equally important.

She knew now that wasn't true.

Hearing that Jack could feel her words— feel them in his chest, words about his eyes, comparisons to bright blue roofs and the Aegean sea and gems plucked from canyons— makes her understand how important it is to hear that. To hear how her art is received, how it makes the person she's describing feel.

"Yeah," Alice says, blinking hard and turning her head to the right, staring out at the lawn, grasses turning blue-black as the night deepened.

"It feels very good to hear. It feels more important to hear than I used to ever admit..."

She blinks again, and swallows, features twitching into some emotion she's afraid to name out loud.

"Thank you."

It's time for a big sip of wine. Mainly because Alice feels like she needs fortifying, because also she's hoping the rim of the glass will conceal any trace of glassiness in her eyes. Or the way her throat works extra hard to swallow.

Alice swallows again for good measure. Could she manage another bite of her lobster roll, or perhaps a chip? Probably not. Not until she's managed to blink the faint shine from her eyes, at least.

And besides; there's another Jack-gesture she's cataloging.

This time, it's him pressing his thumb against his chin; fitting the pad of his finger into the indent. Thinking of what to share with her, maybe? The gesture look so natural. So automatic.

But Alice's thoughts are quickly torn from gestures when she notices the look settling on Jack's face. It's like watching a cloud drift over a valley, and watch the shadow fall where once was light.

'I don’t want to lose my job,'

And then something hot does prickle against her eyes. The simplicity of Jack's statement, the profound echo behind it, the smile that Jack gives her that just makes her feel worse.

Oh, Jack.

"Yeah, but you're not going to."

Again, for the countless time that day, Alice reaches and circles her forefinger and thumb around his wrist. She squeezes, rather hard before releasing, but she hopes Jack recognizes the force behind her gesture. Maybe he'll absorb some of her surety. Maybe all the things plaguing him will drop from him like leaves.

"I know you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I know this is getting dragged out in the most torturous way... but you're not."

Jack had better not. Alice had looked into things before coming here; read up on his campaign strategies, town halls and stump speeches and debates and the hours, all those fucking hours, the connections Jack made with people and all those counties he traveled in to.

All that time. Energy, Exhaustion. Alice's other hand clenches around the chair's arm to think of the surprise hearing— his ex-wife dragging him into that brutal ambush while they ate dinner.

It made her sick to think of how off-guard and crushed he looked.

What else would Jack have to lose?

"There are these stupid fuck that embezzle millions of dollars and just get hit with fines. There are people, sitting and sworn-in, who are cruel, and incompetent, and selfish— and nothing happens to them. Not when they use. Not when they hire women. You aren't those people. You're ... demonstrably better. You're not gonna lose your job."

If it helped him— helped him at all— Alice would write the world's best fucking character witness. Like her article. Or even a letter. Fuck. She'd read it in front of Congress, fuck the fact she'd known him for less than a week.

[harleybird]

"But is it - We couldn't travel with you."

"What? Why not?"

"Because you, sir, are not one of us."

Doctor Who | Dot & Bubble

Bonus Dumbass:

[reallyhardy]

Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!

[choking-on-roses]

Colleague called me a Luddite today because I wrote the abstract for a book chapter submission by hand without using ChatGPT

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff

[skitskatdacat63]

Often punch myself for not taking the chance to draw weird fanart when I had the passion since the spark will never be the same after the fact. Not saying I don't have passion now, I mean specifically the at minimum 10 unhinged blorbo fantasies I have whenever I consume media