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#and I lose all sense of eloquence
sysig · 6 months
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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shrikebrother · 2 years
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I've been thinking about Next To Normal again lately off and on, "he's a hero a lover a prince" and how this fantasy version of her teenage son fills a mix of all these roles for Diana including a romantic partner. I feel like it flies under the radar for a lot of audiences since Gabe is, you know, dead/not real, but it's really interesting when you consider how especially Dan interacts with his presence like a rival.
OH MY GOD RIGHT RIGHT
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moonselune · 2 months
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So just a silly little scenario that keeps reeling through my head but: astarion reveals/confirms that he is a vampire and tav is just staring blankly at him for a hot minute so he's fearing the worst but then tav just asks "so like... Do you just use your fangs to puncture the skin and then just slurp up what comes out or are your fangs like. .. sharp straws?"
Okay so when I was younger there was a show called young Dracula and I deadasss thought that was how vampires drank blood as because it was a kids show they couldn't show the blood so I just assumed it went straight up the fangs lmao
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Astarion x reader | Questions
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─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
The moon hung high in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the campsite. You and Astarion sat a little apart from the others, the crackling campfire providing a warm contrast to the cool night air. Astarion had been acting strangely all evening, and you could tell something was weighing heavily on his mind.
Finally, he took a deep breath and turned to you, his usually confident demeanor replaced with a rare look of vulnerability. "There’s something I need to tell you," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "Something about myself that I’ve been hiding."
You leaned in, your curiosity piqued. "What is it, Astarion?"
He hesitated for a moment, then spoke in a rush, as if afraid he might lose his nerve. "I’m a vampire. Or rather, a vampire spawn."
The words hung in the air between you, and for a long moment, you could only stare at him blankly, your mind struggling to process the revelation. Astarion’s eyes searched your face anxiously, his fear evident as the seconds ticked by.
Just as he was about to speak again, perhaps to explain or to plead for understanding, you finally found your voice. "So, like… Do you just use your fangs to puncture the skin and then just slurp up what comes out or are your fangs like… sharp straws?"
Astarion blinked, clearly taken aback by your unexpected question. "I… what?" he stammered, momentarily at a loss for words.
You tilted your head, genuinely curious now. "Well, I’ve always wondered how it works. Do you bite and then suck, or do your fangs actually draw the blood directly like straws?"
Relief flooded Astarion’s features, followed quickly by a chuckle. "Of all the questions I expected, that wasn’t one of them," he admitted, shaking his head with a bemused smile. "To answer your question, I bite and then… slurp, as you so eloquently put it."
You grinned, your curiosity now fully engaged. "That’s kind of fascinating, in a morbid way. Does it hurt the person you’re biting?"
He seemed to relax further, clearly relieved that you weren’t recoiling in horror. "It can, but it doesn’t have to. There are ways to make it… pleasurable, even. If done right, the bite itself can release endorphins."
You nodded thoughtfully, still processing everything. "And do you have to bite people often? Is it hard to control?"
Astarion sighed, the weight of his existence as a vampire evident in his expression. "I do need to feed regularly, yes. And it can be difficult to control, especially if I’m starved or in the heat of battle."
You reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "Thank you for telling me, Astarion. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to carry that secret. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you."
His eyes softened, a mix of gratitude and surprise in his gaze. "You… you’re not afraid? Or disgusted?"
You shook your head firmly. "No, I’m not. I’m glad you trusted me enough to share this with me. We all have our burdens to bear. Yours just happens to be a bit more… unique."
Astarion let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "Thank you. Truly."
You smiled back, feeling a sense of closeness with him that you hadn’t before, "We’re in this together, Astarion. Vampire spawn or not. But I have one more question."
"Go for it," Astarion chuckled, shaking his head, his white curls framing his face.
"If you could turn your fangs into straws, would you?"
".... quite probably."
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Hope you guys enjoyed it, just a short fun one for y'all x - Seluney xox
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novembermorgon · 4 months
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How do you feel about all of King Jaehaerys' daughters? 👀
all of them... WHEW ! heres a saera to break up the text block
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i'm admittedly not the biggest fan of many of the pre-dance targs . not in the sense that i dislike them it's just that i've never been all that invested in their characters the same way i am, say, the dunk and egg era ones ... but theyre fun! i think all of jaehaerys kids are definitely really interesting by default on account of being born to a guy who people in-universe tend to praise very highly only for him to turn out a shitty horrible dad that fucks you over for the sole crime of being born as his child. lets take them in order! (it's been a while since i read fire and blood now so bear with me . might have missed or forgotten stuff ...)
daenerys ... to me she's kind of a victim of grrm seeming to kill off a lot of female characters specifically because they don't have that much of a role in the story. sort of a nothing-girlie unfortunately . i do think it's interesting that alysanne went to jaehaerys with the hope of daenerys being heir as the then-eldest child- sort of a harrowing premonition of his treatment of his future daughters. i wish we got more on her.
alyssa is fun! i think she's one of the stronger (in terms of writing quality) of jaehaerys kids, at least early on. she does end up, again, kind of suffering from grrms writing in the sense that she starts having children and suddenly almost loses that .. spirit ..? of her character ..? if that makes sense. i feel that he fumbled a little bit with wrapping her story up and once again falls into the pit of 'women who die in childbirth just because'. not to say i inherently mind that conclusion to a female character's story.. i think it's necessary in a universe like asoiaf to portray the difficulties that come with pregnancy and how that changes a person, but it often feels like a bit of a crutch in asoiaf to write a female character out of the story . other people have had more eloquent critiques of her character than me. but overall she's up there in the ranking for me :-)
maegelle is one of my favourites if only because she hits on a lot of notes i like in asoiaf! being a septa she kind of escapes a bit of the family horror that her sisters has to endure - but that also means she has to watch it from afar. alyssa, daella and viserra all die in relatively quick succession and she's not in any real position to do anything about it. even having escaped the family terrors you are still a victim of them etc. i like that she's got a bit of an attitude lol even though she's clearly a very compassionate kind person ('This is foolish, Father. Rhaenys is to be married next year, and it should be a great occasion. She will want all of us there, including both you and Mother. The archmaesters call you the Conciliator, I have heard. It is time that you conciliated.') - and her ending i think is very tragic, but in an almost sweet way. caring for children that most others are repulsed by, selfless to the end ... i like her.
daella is just tragic. other people have said more than i could ever about her but to me her marriage is truly one of the most horrific things that jaehaerys ever did in part because it's just so simple and not-so-dramatic. he tells alysanne that daella has to be married at the end of the year and she is. she's excited to be a mother to the children he already has. she's happy, despite the horrific situation she's put in - only to be doomed to die after a pregnancy where she has to beg her mother to come see her out fo fear. so terrible. makes my heart ache.
saera... there's a lot you could say about saera. inherently i'm a little bit opposed to stanning on the basis of the optics of prostitution in asoiaf and what it means for her to become a brothel proprietor in a city where there are five slaves to every free man - you can definitely critique her but she IS exceptionally interesting and i do like her. such a character. i feel like her defiance of her father gives such a good insight into how terrible jaehaerys was as a father- even in a book so almost distanced from its characters (in that it's a history book) you can really feel the frustration both of her parents and of saera herself and it really does make for good family drama. i feel bad for her just as i feel that she falls into the pitfall of the endless, vicious cycle that drives forward so many of the themes in asoiaf. delicious and horrifying . i wish we got to know more details about her children and what happened to her during the dance
viserra... ohhh. she might be my number one! right after the saera situation i feel like viserra, in the eyes of her parents, was almost like a reflection of her sister. there were many reasons for them marrying her off (none of which were good) but i think there really is that bite of saera leaving just a year earlier that stings in the back of their minds. just as with all these girls she's tragic and so very interesting and i wish we got to understand her better. trying to 'seduce' baelon is such a harrowing thought - like a cry for help, a need for somebody, anybody to save her from the same fate as almost all her sisters and grandmothers and great-grandmothers before her. it's horrifying to be a woman in westeros and no matter how loudly she cried for an out, nobody would give it to her. she was only fifteen when she died! how horrific is that! her last ride is such a terrible terrible visual to me. she deserved better and nobody around her was there for her in any regard. jaehaerys alysanne baelon i will haunt you for the rest of time.
gael.. :-( there's not much Here but for what it's worth she does intrigue me. the story of her and the mystery bard seducing her... i want to know more!! her mother dying just a year after losing her last daughter - so, so tragic. i think ive said this way too many times now. i don't know. what a horrible collection of fates. jaehaerys you will burn.
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blocksgame · 1 year
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Tips on character voices when writing fic
This is written in mind for people writing fic in MCYT/QSMP/DSMP/Life series/etc kind of fandoms. But if anyone finds it useful for anything else, well then, hell yeah.
Character voice is big in all, uh, fiction, and mimicking it in any fanwork is big. But I think it’s especially big in these fandoms where the voices are so distinct – it’s usually how a Real Person Somewhere (the streamer) talks, versus something very scripted that you’d see in a TV show or novel. And it can be a big difference in your character sounding generic versus really feeling true to the original.
Listen to a bunch of your subject talking. If you want to write a character well, watch vods from their point of view, or episodes where they show up a bunch. Take note of what they say and how.
2. If you don’t know how to start doing that: try literally writing down what they say. Transcribe an actual exchange in fic-format. You probably won’t want to publish a literal exchange from canon, but it will give you a sense of how to physically write what they say.
3. If you do this (or just pay attention to how they talk), you will get a lot of: Stumbling, pauses, repeating words, filler words, weird sentence constructions, fragments, etc. I love em! Here’s something that comes through in improv much more than in novels or movies: Most people, even very charismatic people, are not very eloquent when they speak. Writing out conversations or sentences will give you a sense of the unique and delightful way in which your subject is not eloquent. vvvvv way more under cut vvvvv
(People use a LOT of filler/etc when they speak. It’s reasonable to cut back on this if it’s interfering with a nice-looking or readable result. I believe this is the eternal struggle of people who write transcripts – you want the transcript to be accurate, but there are also a lot of things you can obviously simplify and not lose the meaning. So you’ll end up falling somewhere on this spectrum either way. But I do think a lot of mediocre/generic fic dialogue is very stylized – it doesn’t sound like your guy because your guy literally wouldn’t say that. They would say it worse and more confusingly.)
(I’m serious, if you’ve never sat down with a short non-completely-scripted clip or real conversation or whatever and just written out exactly what was said, do it. It will make you better at writing.)
4. Wonda-cat made a really incredible list [link] of characterizing speech patterns for the Dream SMP members. But you can also do your own reconnaissance and come up with your own patterns, common phrases, etc.
5. You do not have to get EVERYTHING right. You’re not going to, like, get so deep into the speaker’s brain that you can produce “exactly what they would have said if they were somehow in your fic.” That is impossible. You’re just trying to evoke a character, and if you get a few turns of phrase to ring true, you’re doing great.
6. A lot of these people are popular because they are hilarious. Include jokes. Yes, even if your thing is angsty or serious. A lot of the most serious lore I can think of from, e.g., the Dream SMP or 3rd Life or the QSMP - the really story-defining, life-and-death moments - were absolutely hysterical. If you’re writing characters who are usually funny, then add some humor. It can heighten angst via contrast and a sense of realism. Ask yourself what a funny streamer would make jokes about if they were possessing a character in this situation.
7. Some people have the mystical ability to “hear” character voices in their head, and read things in their voice. If you can, do this with all of your dialogue during the editing process. This won’t always get you there, but sometimes it can catch things that sound wrong by invoking "that's really hard to imagine them saying". If you don’t have this power, try recruiting a friend who does.
8. So there’s dialogue and then there’s narration that’s still from a character’s point of view. I’ve mostly given you tips about dialogue, but a lot of this is also true for narration. IMO, narration is less about phrasing things the way the subject would, and more about recreating the way they think. I don’t have concrete rules on how to do this, but here is my wisdom:
You can get eloquent again - narration is more of an abstract and artistic process than dialogue.
Spend time with your subject’s source material.
Pay attention to what they notice and care about. How do you think they think?
Don’t be afraid to get weird with it.
That last one also applies to all art ever.
9. MCYT tends to give you a great boon you don’t see in other media: what the speaker says to their chat/audience when nobody else is listening. This can be incredibly characterizing even if you’re writing a story where people don’t have chats. It’s your person talking about their thought processes and feelings! Mine that shit.
10. Some questions that might help guide both characterizing narration and dialogue (that you’d get from dialogue):
How open are they about their feelings?
How often do they lie? What do they lie about?
What kind of metaphors do they use, if any?
How quickly does their mood change?
How can you tell when they’re in different moods?
What kind of things do they pay attention to?
How formal is their speech?
11. Finally, this is a little odd, but I find it’s much, much easier to write a character that sounds good if I, the author, like them and am rooting for them at least a little bit. If a character needs to be there who you don’t love, try to love them. Or at least get a sense of what other people love about them. It just makes everything else easier. I swear to god.
Happy writing out there!
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ashessonfire · 1 year
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Hi, I just gotta say I really love your stories and how detailed and eloquent your writing is.How about a Kaz Brekker x reader angst where a heist gone wrong results to Kaz (temporarily) losing his memory and reverting back to old Kaz, who is not in a relationship with reader, and he keeps pushing the reader away 'til reader gives up 'cause of something Kaz said or a scenario where they think Kaz is better without them♡♡♡thank you for listening HAHAHAHA
'Forgotten' - Kaz Brekker x Reader
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Prompt - Kaz Brekker's plans rarely fail, but what happens when a heist goes incredibly wrong, and the Bastard of the Barrel forgets you completely? - Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (established relationship) - Warnings: Depictions of violence, gunshots, Kaz's trauma / memories, Kaz being an asshole but not really his fault??? ANGST ANGST ANGST Part two found here! A/N: Thank you all so much for the amount of support and love i am getting for my first few posts! I will definitely write a part two if you want it, its a massive cliffhanger but would be WAY too long to do it in one go. JUST PURE ANGST IM SORRY T-T
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Kaz’s plans often fell victim to unseen circumstances, however, small hinderances to his meticulously planned out schemes rarely affected the outcome. Yet even Kaz himself had to admit, that this plan had gone spectacularly wrong.
From incorrect blueprints for the building, to four times the number of armed guards than initially expected, all the group could do was try and escape relatively unharmed. The crows were splintered into six breathless individuals, winding their way through narrow streets to try and loosen their attackers’ grips. Sprays of bullets and the glints of knives rushed past each one of them, only narrowly missing their targets.
That was until Kaz felt a searing pain in his leg, a sudden slash just under the back of his knee, sending fire trailing throughout his body. He groaned deeply, internally damning the attacker for not only striking his target, but also managing to hit Kaz on his already bad leg. The pain from the wound caused it to buckle, giving him a clear path straight towards the glistening cobblestone of Ketterdam’s streets.
Before he could fully feel the impact, a hand tightly gripped the roots of his hair, pulling his face parallel to the grinning pursuer, evidently pleased with his achievement of apprehending the Bastard of the Barrel.
Before Kaz could use his cane to fight back, it was violently ripped from his grasp, another set of hands clutching his own behind his back, rendering him completely immobile. Suddenly, the knife was yanked out of his leg, earning a surprised growl from Kaz, his leg leaking onto the stone beneath him a deep ruby shade.
“Well, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’m afraid to say I am more than a little underwhelmed, Dirtyhands,” The leader of the group sneered, earning a howl of laughter from his gang, who seemed to be forming from the shadows of the abandoned street, emerging in staggering numbers.
Despite his predicament, a thought flashed through his mind, calming his increasingly alarmed state. “Perhaps they abandoned the others in favour of catching me,” Kaz silently contemplated, feeling a light sense of relief at the possibility his crew would make it back to the slat alive.
Especially you.
However, the relief was knocked out of him as swiftly as it came, along with all the air in his chest.  A brutal kick sent him reeling backwards into the chest of the man behind, followed by a series of punches which Kaz was defenceless against. The assault continued, blood pouring into his eyes from an open wound on his forehead, blinding him to the onslaught of attacks that followed, as he rapidly tried blinking to wash away the crimson from his vision.
The ambush subsided, giving him enough time to throw his head back and remove some of the steadily flowing substance from his sight. Murmurs sounded around him, but Kaz couldn’t decipher what was being stated, the ringing from the punches obscuring the sound around him, leaving him underwater, drowning in his own blood.
Despite Kaz’s senses becoming increasingly obstructed, a flare of panic welled up within him, as he spotted something brassy glinting through the sheet of red, catching the light from the street lanterns surrounding them. The unknown object began its descent towards him, the glint becoming a beam which shone through the curtain of crimson, until it was just close enough for Kaz to make out the flash of a crow’s eye, and the curve of a beak.
“How ironic,” Kaz thought to himself, “Being killed by my own cane.”
The scarlet curtain closed on Kaz, the blow ending the performance the gang was putting on, leaving their victim in a world full of darkness, the feeling of the waves washing over him and pulling him deeper into the abyss.
The last thing he heard was the sound of a voice.
 Jordie’s?
The concern that radiated from the sound brought him back to memories of the farm, where Kaz would climb too far up a willow’s branches, and his brother would have to call him down. Or perhaps when they had arrived in Ketterdam and Kaz had thought it comedic to hide in a dimly lit street, blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurked in its gloom.
However, as Kaz slipped deeper into the ocean, the voice getting further away with each of his slowing heartbeats, a tinge of warmth hit his chest, signalling that this wasn’t Jordie.
 It was you.
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Your adrenaline had served you well, since shortly after you were separated from the crows, familiar edges of buildings and glints of neighboring signs entered your vision. Using this to your advantage, you utilized your familiarity of the area to hide, slipping into the shadows, melting into the gloom of Ketterdam's alleys. Soon, all five of your pursuers had bullets lodged in their throats unable to pinpoint where they were being shot from. Each fatal blow perfectly central just as Jesper had taught you.
Whilst your mind began to settle at the lack of immediate threat, something burred within your core pulled on your heartstrings, pointing your unsettling fear towards Kaz.
You had taken great care to note which routes the other crows had disappeared down, for insurance if they did not return to the slat within the agreed time. However, as you fled, your heart had plummeted at the sight of at least ten men chasing down your boyfriend.
Before your mind could register your actions, you were sprinting back in the direction you had come, weaving through the bodies littering your path. You quickly reached the alley Kaz had fled down, and you bolted through the streets you estimated Kaz would take.
As he was your boyfriend, you had become accustomed to imagining what he would do, or how he would act in certain situations, helping you decode his behaviour when he barricaded himself from you on troublesome days.
The sound of bone cracking and pained grunts pulled you away from your thoughts, turning a sharp corner just in time to see the head of Kaz’s precious cane colliding with his temple, the light visibly fading from his eyes due to the blow.
Rage swept through you, controlling your actions as your mind failed to synchronise with your body. Rushing forward, you shot wildly, achieving at least three separate screams from the men before you. Before the others were made fully aware of your presence, you had a serrated knife plunging into a further two, leaving fatal wounds which would slowly bring about their demise. Once every one of group were flooding the streets with their blood, your gaze shifted to Kaz.
Lying in a growing pool of blood, your boyfriend’s face was swollen, covered in deep gashes that littered his sharp features. The dim light from the lanterns overhead cast murky shadows over the wounds, highlighting the gruesome fate Kaz had endured. From somewhere far in the distance, you heard your voice screaming his name, begging for him to wake up, at some point you had even rushed over to him and began caressing his fractured face to wake him.
Allowing a deep inhale of Ketterdam’s air, you collected yourself, imagining that Kaz were conscious and scolding you for your slow reactions and the ‘weakness’ you were portraying. Laying your head against his frigid chest, you held your own breath, only releasing the growing tension when a faint heartbeat pounded against your ear.
Silently apologising for your next actions, you hooked both of Kaz’s arms underneath your own and used all your force to haul him back to the Slat.
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For several days following the attack, the group had come to a collective conclusion that their boss was severely concussed, so much so that he was barely conscious for more than a few minutes at a time.
Throughout the harrowing days, you never left his side, constantly aiding his body in a frail attempt to bring him back to the conscious realm, and to you.
The crows stopped by often to assist you, compelled to keep at least one half of the pair in a decent condition, Nina bringing hot food, Inej wiping down your face with a warm cloth, and Jesper or Wylan keeping you company for an hour or so, brightening the mood wit =h jokes or stories.
Time seemed almost to cease its movements, with even the smallest of things, like the rain rolling down the frosted glass in Kaz’s room, or the flickering of the candles illuminating the slat, appearing sluggish to you.
That was, only until Kaz woke up.
A bout of coughs awoke you from a light sleep, sending alarm bells ringing through your head, echoing off the walls and overwhelming you. Upon seeing the straining eyes blinking against the intensity of the candlelight, the roar swiftly subsided.
“Kaz,” you breathed out, barely audible to both you and him.
You gently reached out to feel the heat from his forehead, an action not dissimilar to the gentle brushes of his locks you would often settle on when he was too engrossed in scheming to provide you attention. However, your movements were stopped dead in their tracks when a voice sliced through the air.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kaz seethed.
Although his voice was hoarse from his absence over the last few days, a clear threat laid deeply within his sentence, piercing your chest with a thousand knives. “Kaz, I’m just checking your temperature, my love,” you offered gently, praying to the Saints that whatever malice behind your partners eyes was due to his condition, and not a genuine fury.
Instead of removing the knives from your heart, he twisted them painfully, glaring directly at you as he warned lowly, “I am not sure how long I have been out for, but I severely doubt it would be enough time for a word like ‘love’ to be directed towards me. Especially by the likes of you. Go and get Nina, you are of no use to me.”
Your breath hitched painfully in your throat, blocking the air trying to travel both in and out, glittering eyes locked directly with his as your mind struggled to process the disgust that laced his voice. Your body battled as it tried to force another ‘Kaz’ out into the world, but he intruded before the sound escaped.
“Leave now, or I will dismiss you for insubordination. Go,” Kaz stated, bitterness being the only discernible emotion portraying through his words, his chest filling with an emotion so strong he couldn’t name it, deciding to settle on disgust. Your eyes welled up, clouding your vision as you cautiously left the room, shock coursing through your body and stiffening your every movement, causing shivers to wrack your body as your blood froze to ice.
Your mind seemed to leave your body, taking little note of going to Nina and sending her up to Kaz, or the other crows fawning over your broken state, clearly panicking further when your only form of response was a stiff silence. It seemed safer to hide behind glossy eyes and blank looks, than to decipher what had caused Kaz’s reaction.
It was only an hour later when Nina came downstairs, shaking you out of your daze with words that did a far more agonizing job than Kaz’s knives would.
She downright shot you point blank in the heart.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry, it seems like the blow has affected his memory. I can’t tell the severity yet, but it seems that he has no recollection of you two as, well you know. ‘You two,’” Nina bit out, voice cracking as her heart shattered for you, who now stood shaking before the group, the slightest breeze threatening to barrel you over.
You dismissed them with a fractured smile, barring yourself within the confines of your room, knives drawing blood within your heart, twisting excruciatingly each time a shuffle or a creak would sound from the room above yours.
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Your perseverance impressed not only the rest of the crows, but yourself too. You didn’t allow yourself to wallow in your self-pity for long, determined to regain Kaz’s memory despite his protests and frustration with you. You had already molded a loving relationship with the deadliest man in Ketterdam, you figured that you would be able to withstand doing it once more.
Enduring the blade-like words was the simplest part, however it was the emotion behind them that faltered you each time you were faced with him. He always his behind a face of insults or harsh syllables, but you had decoded their meanings long ago, the sentiment behind each radiating through in a way in which only you could detect.
As he recovered, you remained vigilant to his every need, bringing him herbal tea infused with medicine or offering fresh bandages to change when the blood seeped through the last.
Each encounter ended with tears streaming drearily down your face, matching the raindrops that hit against the pains of the slat, each impact slamming against your heart. As you persisted, the feeling Kaz felt towards you grew, the emotion intensifying with each glimpse at you.
He couldn't stand it.
Rage bubbled within him at your attempts at kindness, the insults increasing in harshness and malice each time you dared to provoke him.
Yet you bounced back, offering him delicate smiles, compassionate gestures, and kind words. However Kaz couldn't bear it any longer, the weight in his chest obscuring his breathing and brooding for too long, consuming him from the inside out.
Despite his unbroken hatred that radiated towards you, he seemed to gradually be regaining his memories, allowing Jesper's jokes or Nina's teasing to go as far as they would before the accident. It caused you great anguish, and shamefully jealousy, at his return to every one of his crows.
But you.
The door to his office was given a light few taps, before Kaz permitted you entry, knowing from the weight of the knocks it had to be you. Although the others seemed far more wary of him than usual, there was something almost gentle about how you acted towards him, making it easier for Kaz to single you out from the rest.
You entered with a stack of papers, a vast collection of work that had accumulated whilst he regained his health. Biting back his usual snarky insults and remarks dripping in poison, Kaz watched you intently, deadly intentions practically radiating from his gaze.
Setting down the pile, you stepped back silently, too exhausted to bear the weight of another one of his lashings, each word cutting you and leaving you bleed out, not dissimilarly to how you found him that night.
The silence in his office was impenetrable, the air becoming impossible to breath through the tension that radiated between you, with only one of you being able to decipher what it truly was. Your mind was so focused on the intake of air, you almost missed the hand that extended towards you, the closest he had allowed you since his memory had stolen you from him.
Clutched in his grasp was a simple white letter, signatures coating the outside of the envelope, and something folded, protruding from within the packet itself.
The silence became deafening, the pounding of your heart like a bird trapped in a cage infinitely too small for its prisoner, crashing into the walls in an attempt to escape. As your hand made contact with the offering, Kaz spoke in a tone you had never heard before.
He simply stated, "From tomorrow, at four bells, you will be gone. A job in Ravka requires someone of your skillset, so you will go. If you fail to comply then you will no longer be welcomed here. I have tolerated your incessant troubling for long enough, you have no true place here until you finally realize how burdensome you truly are."
Your heart stopped.
The air around you liquified, slowly filling your lungs with fluid and choking you, drowning you silently as Kaz looked on with an indifferent scowl, an eyebrow raised in question at your astonishment.
The tears streamed, your body screaming for air, for comfort, for him. But it couldn't seem to attain any one of them, instead pushing all its strength into forming the the right words to pierce Kaz Brekker's impenetrable façade.
"You still don't remember?" you coughed out, "After the incident who was it who rushed back to you, dragged your half-dead body across the Barrel and into the slat. Who stayed by your side until they were forced to leave each night? Do you not have any recollection, not of the memories, but of how you felt for me? Surely I didn't mean that little to you," your voice wavered heavily whilst you gasped out the final line.
The tears formed rugged streams across your cheeks, glinting in the dim candlelight from Kaz's desk, highlighting the pain you had hidden from him for weeks. It was now his turn to be stunned, the words echoing around his mind but not seeming to form into coherent meanings.
Despite Kaz's astonishment at your outburst, it wasn't enough.
Wasn't enough for him to stop you from walking away, or enough to whisper your name louder in confusion and uncertainty as your form dissolved into the hallway .
Surely this was what he was supposed to do?
Yet deep inside his plagued heart your words resounded, filling Kaz with a sense of dread, the waves that usually consumed him began to swell, drowning him in his seat just as he had done to you earlier.
He was certain on one thing, that the gaping pain in his chest which he had presumed was disgust, or perhaps even hatred, had not disappeared. Had not lightened as he had prayed it would if you just vanished.
No. Instead it had intensified into something that swallowed him whole, dragging him further into the bitter ocean than ever before, waves crashing fiercely above his head.
The emotion consumed him as his breathing deepened, heart both simultaneously stopping and racing into oblivion, as it finally dawned on him. Somewhere within that feeling a small spark remained glowing, something that felt warm and familiar which he had repressed.
Something that resembled care, or affection, or...
Love.
════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════
Tag list: @animalistic00 @whos6claire
Click here for part two <3
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misc-obeyme · 2 months
Note
Wait a minute, Barbatos listens to heavy metal? In which of the games is the sacred chat that included this juicy little fact mentioned? Is it a daily chat or is it obtainable from a card?
Affinity with heavy metal suits him very well, honestly.
I absolutely love when a character's personality is founded on a particular 'theme,' a specific range of generally interconnected interests, as well as a determined set of qualities—only for an unrelated/unexpected trait, quirk, hobby, talent or interest to sneak up and add a quaint pop of entertainment and relatability to their person.
Barbatos adores tea, likes cleaning, and tends to tiny demons, which are all things that give a sort of serene, domestic tinge to his figure. Yet, he indulges in the genre of heavy metal. And I think that that's such a satisfying, realistic shade to his personality palette because the truth is that one individual can hold so many differences within them, and some of those differences may at times be starkly opposing. And that is so intriguing.
Except in this case, I don't think Barbatos's appreciation for heavy metal is 'unrelated' to him per se or even a difference at all; in fact, it's woven with his being and who he is. Because of course, despite the calmness, fondness for tea, and intricate skills in making all sorts of sweet and savoury delicacies—aspects that craft an almost soft, meditative aura around him—he's also a thinker with a sense of wisdom and a badass who displays a multitude of talents while appreciating a musical genre famous for its loud intensity (which at first glance 'opposes' his general calm image and eloquent manner of speech).
So this is where I point out that this very 'difference' is perfect, since it's also a core similarity in and of itself; after all, Barbatos is intense and thoughtful, just like heavy metal itself (even though the genre has this unfair, unfortunate stereotype of being 'aggressive noise only'). What I mean to say is, this preference Barbatos has is merely an extension of his self and a representation of the parts of it that are not immediately apparent. It may seem startling at the beginning, but in my opinion, it makes so much sense that he would appreciate heavy metal.
He has lived for a very, very long time and that existence came with thousands upon thousands of experiences that shaped his mindset, temperament and wisdom, as well as gave him depth. I assume he found that heavy metal resonates with him in some ways. Perhaps it is not only admiration for the deep lyrics or relation to them, but also how the intense volume might help him vicariously express certain emotions.
In all honesty, it would be nice to see what young Barbatos was like. Now it's just rats that make him lose his marbles and go from 0 to 100 in the course of a millisecond. His anger is often pretty much covert otherwise. How interesting it would be to catch a glimpse of his wild days of youth—Barbatos being outwardly wrathful, spitting out what's on his mind without restraint, immediately resorting to violence, and even getting jealous because he's still young and hasn't yet attained the wisdom and maturity all that experience has to offer.
This is way longer than I intended it to be, but the subject piqued my interest, I love rock and admire the depth of thought in it and heavy metal, and overanalysing and overthinking are best friends of mine lol
The chat is from OG and I'm like... 99.999% sure that it's with the group The Fantastic Three. I remember Lucifer apologizing for Asmo who decided to perform some heavy metal at an event or something. And Barbatos was like, actually I like heavy metal. And Lucifer and Diavolo were both like ???
But for the life of me, I cannot find it. I thought it was a daily chat, but I can't find it. Maybe it's from a card? Does anyone know exactly which chat that is??
Anyway, I agree with everything you're saying. I very much headcanon that Barbatos has a lot of depth that we simply don't see. This because he hides it deliberately. I think he does this because he feels he has to have a certain demeanor, not just as Diavolo's butler and as a role model to him, but also because he feels he was too wild in his past. He wants to project that image of perfect calm and competence.
Despite all that, Barbatos is still a being with emotions and I really like the idea that heavy metal in particular speaks to him. Listening to it allows him to sit with some feelings that he normally represses. It helps him work through them instead of letting them fester.
I also think an indication of a well written character is when that character has unexpected traits. It's impossible to make a character as nuanced as a real person, but you can create the illusion of it by giving them depth. Barbatos feels like he has so much happening beneath the surface, so many pieces to him that we haven't discovered yet. It's one of the reasons I love him so much.
Who is he when he lets himself go? I have spent too much time thinking about that.
And how interesting it would be to see how he was when he was younger...
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bitethedevil · 3 days
Note
What do you like about the character of Raphael ?
A Feral Love Letter to the Devil We Know
Oh boy. Here’s my list of why Raphael is like catnip to me (it’s not short and it is possibly a bit extra deranged because I am currently sick).
Purely physical things that convince me that this man was made for me in a lab:
Brown eyes and dark hair has always been my type
The slight stubble and those cheekbones (generally just his whole facial structure is beautiful)
The fucking n o s e <3 <3
Those thick thighs (perfectly sittable and bitable). He is just perfectly shaped.
Those hands he waves in your face all the time and those long fingers (does things to me)
His clothes. Yes, even in cambion form and even the silly clown boots, I love them. It is just all too extra, and I live for it
Everything about his cambion form
I have this crazy theory. There has been made these studies that depending on hormone levels, women are attracted to different kinds of men. At one end of their cycle, they prefer more ‘feminine’ looking men, and on the other end they prefer more traditionally ‘masculine’ looking men. If I get tired of his human form, I get more attracted to his cambion form and the cycle repeats. I think that is why I just do not get tired of staring at this stupid man every day. I know I’m not crazy. It’s science (and we all know I’m a trusted scientist).
Non-physical things that intrigue me:
How expressive he is. I love how his face changes constantly and dramatically with each sentence he speaks. It’s mostly an act but he is so charismatic. He has ‘rizz’ like the kids would say.
I can’t fix him. I don’t want to. His mind games intrigue me. I want to study him like a bug and play mind games with him too (I’m not delusional enough to think I’d win). Let it be toxic as fuck on both parts.
This man is just chucking stones from his glass house like there is no tomorrow. He plays such a big bad devil, but he is really just a little wet cat with a god complex and daddy issues. Not to mention his little hissy fits if any of his perceived weaknesses are pointed out. I find it endearing (unfortunately).
His voice and his eloquence. I love it. Even his shitty poetry. I could listen to it for eternity.
He is so smart. I have been shouting it from the roof tops: he is not stupid. He is always ten steps ahead.
He’s honest. He doesn’t lie and you know where you’ve got him (if you know how to keep up with him).
Genuinely everyone thinks he sucks, both devils and mortals, and yet he thinks he is the shit, either genuinely or as a coping mechanism.
He just such a nuances character if you really dig into it.
Things I relate to:
The scheming and overthinking. Everything is meticulously thought out to the point of obsession. He is playing 4D chess but doesn’t even consider that the other players might just eat the pieces to win. He strikes me as someone who completely overcomplicates things for no reason, and I felt that.
His idea of order is very different from what’s actually orderly. It just has to make sense to him, like ‘what do you mean it’s not orderly to have dead people lying around, trash everywhere, and debtors running around aimlessly in my house? Completely intentional. What’s not clicking?”. I felt that too. There is order to my chaos, and you don’t have to understand it. I get it.
He’s a cringy theater kid with a love for poetry too.
I too find it annoying when other people don’t follow the script I had in mind for the conversation.
Just human enough to understand how human interactions works, but either doesn’t give a shit or genuinely thinks that just spouting vaguely threatening poetry to strangers is a completely normal thing to do.
The obsession and ambition that just completely makes him lose the plot of everything else.
He is just so obsessed with everything being perfect to a point where it almost seems silly.
Acts like he doesn’t care, but actually cares A LOT about how other people perceive him.
I could honestly keep going but you get the picture.
(Thank you for the ask <3)
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zarasu · 8 months
Text
I've been awfully distracted from conquer by writing on my abyss demon!sy bingyuan au. Have a snippet! Binghe and Shen Yuan reunite at Huan Hua.
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His first reaction to seeing Shen Yuan at Huan Hua Palace was rage, thinly veiling fear.
Shen Yuan was the seduction he had fled from, finally catching back up to him. He was the blissful oasis, coming to distract him from his goals. He was the promise of comfort and belonging, hovering at the edge of everything happening to make Binghe lose sight of what was important.
There he was, bowing before the Old Palace Master, this unassuming, soft little man. There was no sign, now, of his dark mana that used to surround him at all times, no playful tendrils curling around Binghe's ankles, no extra mouths, eyes or sharp teeth.
He looked like a normal, harmless young cultivator and Binghe wondered how he had managed to gain control of his nature so quickly, when control seemed to be far away just a year and a half ago.
The only thing that didn't seem to have changed was how quickly Shen Yuan sensed his presence.
Black eyes found him under the cover of long eyelashes and Binghe hated how quickly his body sprung to attention in response, awareness coursing through him like crackling electricity.
He wondered if Shen Yuan knew how he commanded his body, even after all this time.
Sensing his distraction, the Old Palace Master followed Shen Yuan's glance until he saw Binghe standing at the entrance.
"Ah, Binghe," he called, intentionally informal, possessive indulgence in his eyes. He reached out, beckoning, and Binghe came closer until the Old Palace Master could put a heavy hand on his shoulder.
With close interest, Binghe watched as Shen Yuan's hand twitched at his side.
He got his first good look at the scene now. Shen Yuan was in simple cultivator's robes and there was a large, dead beast laid at the palace master's feet. A winged lioness. A rare catch, outside of the abyss, and a deadly one too. Many cultivators would naively go for the males, desiring their golden mane, and disregarding the infinitely more dangerous female lions. That Shen Yuan had not only managed to kill one but came out of the fight seemingly completely unharmed spoke of his power and competence.
And the Old Palace Master knew it.
Slowly, Binghe started to understand what was happening before him. Shen Yuan was trying to get into Huan Hua. He was trying to bait the Old Palace Master into keeping him here and, going by the greedy shine in the old man's eyes, it was working.
"Binghe," Shen Yuan said then, unexpectedly. "It's good to see you well."
He shook off his momentary surprise. Binghe wasn't sure why he had thought they would pretend not to know each other, but obviously Shen Yuan had had other plans.
Before he could reply, the Old Palace Master interjected. "Master Shen knows our Binghe?"
Shen Yuan's face grew a little stiff, but Binghe finally found his voice. "Shen Yuan. I didn't expect to see you here." There was a moment of silence before he added: "I'm glad to see you too."
Where had his eloquency gone? He felt like a bumbling youth, all talk and nothing behind it. He quickly turned to the Old Palace Master. "We met on my travels. Shen Yuan saved me from a situation that would have otherwise ended very badly for me. I owe him my life."
Maybe Shen Yuan hadn't been so sure of his welcome after all, going by the way his stiff expression was replaced by surprised pleasure. "Anyone would have done what I did."
Binghe felt the sudden, desperate urge to laugh.
"Well, any friend of Binghe's is a friend of Huan Hua," the Old Palace Master said. "Of course, Master Shen is welcome to stay for as long as it pleases him." He looked like he had just added two profitable, fat cows to his stables instead of inviting two wolves into his flock of sheep.
Shen Yuan bowed, his eyes flicking away from where the Old Palace Master still had his hand on Binghe's arm. "This one is grateful for the palace master's generosity."
"I will have a servant take care of your gift so that we can display the hide soon. Come, Shen Yuan, I'm sure we can find a room for you." He put his other hand on Shen Yuan's shoulder and pulled both of them to the door, deeper into the palace.
Hidden by the way they were walking ahead of the palace master, Shen Yuan turned his face to Binghe just the slightest bit. As soon as their eyes met, Shen Yuan's mouth curled up into a sly fox's smile.
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imagine-darksiders · 7 months
Text
On the Ropes
Chapter 25 - Uninvited Guests
Montgomery Gator X F!Reader
WARNING:
-Noncon touching, inappropriate behaviour, abuse of authority, implied s/a, self-doubt, mild threat
Summary: Tempers flare, emotions are high and boundaries are tested. You worry, but Monty worries more. He just isn't as good as expressing it as you are.
Sorry this one took so long. A few months ago, my parents made me a partner in their company with a view to take over the whole damn thing when they retire, and I've had to learn how to run a business without a lick of experience in the field, so that's been taking up a lot of my life lately. I'm still finding time to write, but it is harder.
Still! I hope a nice, long, juicy chapter full of angst and fluff and hurt/comfort makes up for the hiatus. Love to the brim. X
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As ideas go, Monty concludes that his latest might have been best left on the backburner, never to see the light of day. He hardly dares move, locked in place by his own mechanical parts as he stares down at you on the sofa, and you in turn, gawk up at him, your eyes still wet and shining with tears.
And for all his artificial intelligence, for all the state-of-the-art programming slapped into his circuitry, the most eloquent response he can conjure up in the face of his own blunder is a weak, faltering, “Uh…”
But what else could best encapsulate the jarring realisation that he’s been caught? He hadn’t really fathomed being caught at all, hadn’t even considered what he might do if he was caught.
Well, too little too late now, he supposes. There’s no way he can simply duck back through your open window and feign ignorance when you inevitably return to the Plex to confront him…
…. Could he…?
… No, no. Definitely not.
Closely observing your expression, the gator’s proverbial stomach sinks as your face begins to lose all aspects of shock and instead turns towards something more closely akin to anger, unpleasant in its familiarity, and Monty realises he’s running out of time to come up with a believable excuse to explain away his presence here, as if a 'good' excuse even exists.
Brows scrunching together, your jaw creaks shut, teeth meeting with an audible ‘click,’ that pulls an involuntary flinch from the gator’s tail.
He can handle Mick being angry with him. He can handle Andy and that exec, the staff and guests and all of their cross words and scathing looks.
Yet for some reason that he dare not examine, the very notion of you pointing your wrath at him fills Monty with a dread so palpable, he’d swear the coolant in his hydraulics freezes solid. The irony of the revelation doesn’t escape him. Until now, he’s spent so long being angry at everyone around him without sparing much thought as to how it must feel to be on the receiving end.
Beyond the threatening wave of apprehension cresting over him, he can still hear the sizzle of water against a hot stove-top somewhere nearby – the very culprit that had landed you on the floor, and him here in the first place - and in his eagerness to set things right again, Monty latches onto the one task he’s at least semi-certain he can’t mess up.
He doesn’t break eye-contact with you, not until he’s edged his way into the little kitchenette and finally tears his gaze from yours to spin around to the stove, knocking his tail against the fridge with a jarring clang of metal. He winces at the force, hoping he hasn’t dented it.
Grimacing at the knobs and dials sitting innocently on the cooker, he elects not to tackle them, instead reaching out to engulf the saucepan’s entire handle in a single fist where he simply lifts the whole contraption off the stove.
At once, the water boiling within its metal confines eases to a manageable simmer.
“Monty…” When his name leaves your lips this time, it’s deeper, colder, with the barest tremble flecked into your voice. “You… you can’t be here…”
The gator has enough sense not to bark out a nervous laugh at the century’s greatest understatement.
Clenching his fingers around the handle, he carefully plops the saucepan down near the back of the stove, away from the burning, red ring of heat. Excess water still dribbles in tiny rivulets down the side of the counter, but he turns his processor away from the mess by physically twisting himself around in the cramped space until he’s facing you once more, clutching his hands up to his yellow chest plate.
“You can’t be here,” you reiterate thinly, your eyes blown wide and pupils small and dark like pinprick holes, locked in his direction.
Then, with the suddenness of a bullet firing from a gun, you explode into motion.
Lurching over at the waist, you swipe your discarded crutch from the floor and begin shoving yourself gracelessly from the sofa with such fervour, Monty is momentarily struck by the ludicrous idea that you might be on your way to attack him.
“Of all the-! the stupid-!” you sputter, slamming the crutch’s rubber foot into your carpet and heaving yourself upright, wobbling across the room on an unsteady leg, “Dangerous! Irresponsible-!”
You continue hurling out adjectives and lumbering forwards, and Monty – suddenly alarmed that you’re about to topple face-first into the carpet again – kicks himself into gear. His pistons carry him across the room in a few, loping strides where he meets you at the edge of the kitchen linoleum, mindlessly throwing both of his enormous palms around your waist to steady you.
Almost at once, you latch onto him roughly, your fingertips squeaking against plastic as they attempt to gather purchase around a too-thick wrist.
“Monty!” The acrid taste of panic steadily trickles down the back of your throat. “Monty, this isn’t funny! I’m not kidding! This isn’t funny, you cannot be here!”
But Monty isn’t laughing. And although you sound borderline hysterical, there isn’t a trace of humour in your expression either. Maybe you hope it's a practical joke, or that you're seeing things. Anything except for the gargantuan reality peering down at you from behind star-shaped sunglasses. 
“I know,” is all the gator can muster up as a reply. Because he does know. He can’t be here.
And yet, he is.
“Then what-” you snap, “-the fuck are you doing here!?” It’s the first time you’ve really raised your voice at him, and there’s a sharpness to it that tucks the animatronic’s snout down towards his chest, rendered contrite in the face of your reprimand. Something deep in his subroutine starts to hum, discontented. Perhaps it’s the fact that the shoe is on the other foot now, and this time, he’s the one on the receiving end of someone else’s anger.
Another tear spills over to clump your eyelashes together.
Whirring loudly behind his glasses, Monty’s optics track its path over the swell of your cheek, and again, he creaks his jaw open, hoping something more substantial than his previous answer will miraculously come to him. As it is, he merely utters a soft, “I… don’t know.”
Evidently however, that had been the wrong thing to say.
For several seconds, your mouth flaps open and closed in disbelief before your face screws up into a tight ball of incredulousness and you manage to shrilly proclaim, “What do you mean you don’t know!?”
You snatch your hand away from his wrist to rake trembling fingers through your hair, digging into your scalp with the tips of blunted nails. “Oh god, oh god… This is bad, this is bad! You’re…”
Trailing off, you lean away from the animatronic, shoving a palm against his solid chest and giving your head a harsh shake, as if you might somehow throw the whole situation from your mind. Even as you pull away, his hands retain their firm point of contact on your sides.
After a beat of silence, you go still once more, blinking up at the gator and confirming that, no, you aren’t imagining the hulking, green goliath towering over you, looking far too large to occupy the space between your ceiling and floor. “Monty, for god’s sake,” you say through gritted teeth, “You’re in my flat!”
“I.. I know this looks bad-” he tries, removing a hand from your waist, palm tipped towards you in a placating gesture, “But, it’s okay-“
“- In what universe is this okay!?” you fret, batting at the massive paw that stretches towards you, “Monty! You’re outside the Plex! If you’re caught, they’ll-! Christ! You could be decommissioned! Is that what you want?!”
“I wanted to make sure you got home,” he emphasises.
“You can’t do that though!” you almost wail at him, shaking your fists beseechingly as if to beg him to comprehend your desperation, “You understand why you can’t do that, right?!”
“I was just-!” There’s a sudden buzz of static as he cuts off his own voice box, rendering the end of his sentence effectively unspoken.
But he ought to have known you aren’t about to let him get away with silence, not when you’re so clearly distraught and prying for answers.
“What, Monty?!” you exclaim, pinning him with your glare like a butterfly to a corkboard, “You were just what?!”
The gator’s jaw works mechanically, grinding the gears on their pivots as he clenches and unclenches it. He’s unwilling to give up the vulnerable words that have lodged themselves in his voice box, words that seem far too soft coming from the mouth of an animatronic with an unmalleable frame.
The only sound to break the silence is the steady ‘drip,’ ‘drip,’ ‘drip,’ of your leaky faucet.
“Montgomery,” you snap when his silence starts to overstay its welcome.
And the gator, despite his best efforts, flinches.
Plastic eyebrows slot together with an audible ‘clack’ as Monty lowers his optics to the carpet at your feet…
You’ve fallen back on his show title.
It’s a… rather decisive step away from the nickname he asked you to call him. The chasm that stood between you and the gator was wide when you set foot his green room not so long ago, yet in spite of first impressions, that gap has slowly been closing up over the last few days.
But now? Calling him ‘Montgomery,’ and in so terse a tone feels too much like the rift has just inched a few notches wider again.
Perhaps it’s that solemn, borderline desperate urge to regain what precious ground he’s lost that drives him to finally lift his gaze from the carpet and aim it somewhere near your glistening eyes instead.
“Just… tryin’a do what you did for me…” he utters.
Your face immediately untwists, brows launching up your forehead as everything about you opens up in clear surprise.
Whatever excuse you’d been imagining, he hadn’t provided it.
“What?” The question squeezes out of your throat, rasping and tight.
Hiking up the volume in his voice box, Monty retorts, “You came to make sure I was okay at the Plex. I-I’m just… doin’ the same thing!”
Sputtering around half-formed words for a several seconds, you finally manage to exclaim, “There is an astronomical difference between a human going to their place of work, and an animatronic up and leaving the place they were built, Montgomery, you can’t even try to pretend there isn’t!”
You’re well aware that comparing your autonomy to his own is a little below the belt, but the truth, whilst certainly ugly, is still the truth.
“Andy can tear me a new one for not going home after surgery,” you continue frantically, “But that’s nothing compared to what Faz Co. will do to you if they find out you’ve gone awol! And that’s not even the half of it! I mean - What if you run out of charge!? Or – or!”
As you steadily approach the line between distraught and thoroughly panicked, your voice begins to rise, cracking at the apex of your sentence, hypotheticals darting relentlessly through your head.
“What if someone saw you!? How did you even get here! Oh, fuck, Management’ll scrap you for spare parts, or - Damnit, Monty!” you blurt, ducking your head to try and meet his downcast optics, “Are you evening listening to me!?”
He is listening, as a matter of fact, quite intently. Though his visual feed may not be focused on you, the gator is hanging on your every word. But it isn’t the realisation he could be decommissioned that’s caught his attention. He already knows that the outcomes you’ve just listed are very real possibilities, should his little escapade ever be discovered.
No, instead, it’s the clear and undeniable fear laid thickly in your voice that grinds his processor to a halt. It sits on your tongue like a glaze, shining brightly for him to pick up on, and wonder how he missed it in the first place.
This isn’t anger.
This is something else dressed up to look like anger, and the tragedy is, it’s a disguise he knows all-too well, so well, in fact, that he should have recognised you’d donned it the moment you opened your mouth to speak.
You’re afraid.
If animatronics were built to house spirits, Monty’s would be tentatively lifting their heads. However, the revelation that perhaps he hasn’t driven off his best and only friend is cut woefully short when all of a sudden, his audio receptors give a ping, alerting him to new input approaching from a nearby source.
Without warning, the gator’s head snaps towards the door of your flat, mechanical clicks filling the unexpected silence as his optics adjust to the change in distance.
Footsteps… heavy and unhurried, slowing as they draw nearer to your door…
“Monty?” you hiss, distractedly following the line drawn by his glare, “Don’t try and-“
‘Knock.’
‘Knock.’
‘Knock.’
Three deliberate raps on your front door cause any further arguments to shrivel up and die at the back of your throat. You stop breathing altogether, and every noise suddenly seems too loud in the ensuing silence.
‘Who the Hell-?’ you wonder, dumbfounded, ‘-It’s the middle of the night!?’
No sooner has the thought occurred to you than a finger of ice-cold dread drags a chilly path up the notches on your spine, right to the fine hairs prickling at the nape of your neck.
Like a jackhammer, your heart rams itself up against your sternum over and over again.
‘He couldn’t have… Shit. Could he? But... How?’
“Y/n?”
You’re too slow to clamp your mouth shut around a gasp when you hear the voice, muffled but undeniably masculine, calling out from the other side of the door. Monty’s silicone lips ripple apart, though he at least has the forethought not to push an audible growl through his speakers.
The voice, however, doesn’t sound as though it belongs to the… the person you thought it might have belonged to.
You can’t place it straight away. You’re only sure that you know it from somewhere, but with several centimetres of wood standing between you and it, details are distorted and difficult to pinpoint.
Another knock startles you again, even more-so when it’s followed by, “Are you in there?”
A pregnant pause stretches until your teeth start to ache from keeping them pressed together so firmly.
And then, the words you thought you’d never have to hear again filter through the cracks beneath the door. “I thought I heard shouting.”
There’s an instinct that rises from buried depths at the utterance, instincts you thought you’d put to bed long ago.
It's as though someone has lit a fire under your feet. Mechanically, you twist around towards the sofa, your eyes locking onto the remote controls sitting on its arm rest. Limping up to them with stilted, frenetic movements, you snatch them up and aim them at the television, jamming your thumb into the ‘on’ button with far more force than necessary. Plastic creaks beneath your fingertips.
Seconds later, the screen flickers to life, landing on a film you don’t bother to try and recognise. Hiking up the volume until the tinny sound kicks out of the speakers and fills your meagre living space, you toss the remote back onto the sofa cushions and make your way arduously to the door.
Yet another knock indicates that your late-night visitor is persistent, you’ll give him that.
Several steps from the entrance, your progress is stopped by a sudden wall of green stepping in front of you, blocking your path forward.
“Move,” you rasp through gritted teeth, too quiet to be heard over the television as you smack at the gator’s tail that’s trying to curl around your thighs.
Monty’s head swivels around to frown at you. The purple casings surrounding his optics slide half-closed to give you the impression of a beseeching look.
You wonder if he knows who’s at the door.
“Hello? Y/n?” the stranger calls again.
“I - just a second,” you blurt out, ignoring Monty’s grimace as you bully your way past him, using your crutch to keep him from stepping around you lest he risk tripping you over, “Sorry, I’m... still getting the hang of these crutches.”
You have half a mind to demand to know who the Hell would have the unmitigated audacity to come around and knock on your door at this time of night.
Behind you, Monty’s claws try to hook into the back of your shirt, but the fear of accidentally tearing anything you own keeps him from holding on with any real purpose. As such, it’s only too easy to slip out of his grasp and press your eye up to the peep hole, the blood in your ears rushing to a watery crescendo.
A distorted yet familiar face peers back at you through the glass, sweat glistening off a ruddy forehead that shines under the overhead lights.
“Mick!?” you burst out.
What in the name of God...
Whirling around to face Monty, you throw an arm out, gesturing wildly towards your bedroom door.
The gator’s jaws are clenched tightly enough that you suspect if you were to toss a lump of coal between his teeth, he’d spit out a diamond, and while his tail twitches back and forth in clear agitation, he doesn’t otherwise move.
“Ah, you are there,” your not-so-mysterious visitor exclaims, “Mind opening the door?”
Yes, you mind! You mind very much! What is he doing here!?
Unless…
Your head turns slowly over a shoulder to gape unblinkingly at the animatronic looming close behind you. Your eyes find his, your stomach clenches…
“Hello?”
“Uh, just… hang on a second!” you stall, fumbling and fiddling with the metal latch, pretending to fight with it whilst you cast another, desperate look back at the gator. “Damn lock is always getting stuck.”
The moment his optics catch your eye again, you mouth, ‘Please’, jerking your chin at your bedroom door, ‘Please. Hide.’
Ever so slowly, Monty blinks, taking in the harsh lines that cut crevices down the centre of your forehead, right between your furrowed brows. And just like that, the corners of his snarl start to fall, and the apertures of his pupils expand to hide blazing, crimson LEDs.
A thousand calculations run through his processor at once, all of them pertaining to the risk of leaving you to face Mick by yourself. His programming shrieks in defiance as he takes a reluctant step backwards, being light as he can on cumbersome actuators.
He should stay… Neither of you know why Mick is here, though he can hazard several guesses.
You’re afraid, you’re vulnerable… You need him.
But probability reminds him that perhaps the situation isn’t so dire. He's sure he hadn’t been spotted on his way here, and if he was, why would Faz Co. send Mick – of all humans - out for retrieval?
What if the man's being here is merely down to chance?
If that's the case, then should he catch you with one of the Glamrocks in your home, the repercussions will be far worse than whatever Monty fears could happen by leaving you to deal with the situation alone…
So, driven back by the urgent glimmer of tears shining over your sclera, Montgomery Gator begrudgingly makes a decision that goes against his very programming. He retreats from the room, slinking backwards as silently as a two-tonne bot can through the door and into what he can only assume must be your personal recharging station.
All the while, you watch him over the threshold, waiting until the gator’s hefty bulk disappears into the darkness of the room beyond. Even still, you wait for him to push your door shut with an undetectable 'thud' before you finally wrench the lock on your own door free and tug the whole thing open, remembering to plaster a tentative smile on your face just in the nick of time.
“Mr Matthews,” you grind out sweetly, praying that the television in the background covers your stumbling addition of, “What a… a nice surprise!”
The man on the other side of the door straightens his posture at once. It doesn’t escape your notice that he’s keeping one arm behind his back as he too slaps a grin on his face, though you imagine his is slightly more authentic than your own.
“Y/n, my dear,” he returns, revealing his hidden appendage and, to your surprise – and confusion - producing a fistful of limp, strikingly dark dahlias, the kind you might pull off the bargain shelf at your nearby petrol station.
 “I wasn’t sure you’d be awake,” Mick continues, edging towards you until the toe of his winter boot pokes over the threshold, “But I was in the area and thought I’d stop by to see how you were doing.”
With the flowers practically shoved under your nose, you try to surreptitiously lean backwards, putting your weight on the crutch as you reply, “O-oh, that’s, ah, very kind of you…”
Can he hear your pulse thundering? Oh god, can he see the dilation of your pupils? Does he know who you have hidden in your bedroom? He must… He has to. Why else would he be here?
Almost running on autopilot now, you continue, “You didn’t need to come all this way though. Um…” Trailing off to bite at the inside of your cheek, you hedge, “I didn’t realise you knew where to find me.”
To anyone with even a modicum of self-awareness, the statement is poised as a direct question, in expectation of an answer. ‘How did you know where I live?’ is being broadcast from every facet of your voice and expression.
But Mick, clueless or perhaps deliberately obtuse, merely lowers the flowers an inch and replies, “Oh, you’ve mentioned it to me a few times now.”
… Have you? It’s… entirely possible, you suppose. After all, you talk about a lot of things at work, and subsequently, you forget about a lot of things too. But who would remember all the small talk you make with co-workers, or the unimportant comments you toss out while you’re responding to ‘check-ups’ from management?
Your home address however… It took you a long time to even tell Andy where it was, in case of emergencies… You can’t imagine it’s something you let slip without noticing.
But… Mick is here…
So how else?
Shoving down the frustration at yourself for being careless, you clear your throat and nod at the flowers. “And, can I presume those are for…“
Mick jumps, staring down at the dahlias clutched in his fist as if he’s only just remembered they’re there. “Oh, yes of course they’re for you!” he proclaims, “Of course, of course. Only courteous to give flowers to people in need of healing, no?”
You blink at him mutely, pretending not to notice the excess oil he’s slicked into his hair tonight.
Is that why he’s here? To bring you flowers? Is that all?
Part of you wants to slump with relief. Another part however, older, wiser and sadder, remains cautious.
“Well, again, that’s really kind of you,” you tell him, reaching out to take the flowers from his hand. The stems seem to breathe elated sighs as he relinquishes his iron-clad grip. “I’ll have to find a vase for these…”
You’re not sure you even own a vase…
“Naturally,” he replies, peering over your shoulder to quirk a brow at the television blaring behind you, “Ah. Movie night?”
“Hmm?” Following his gaze, you rush out, “Oh yeah, I figured… since I’m off tomorrow and the foreseeable future, a little late night wouldn’t kill me…”
Would it be rude to ask your senior why he’s bringing you flowers at this time of night? Maybe you can tell him you were just about to turn off the TV and go to bed?
As you deliberate how best to tell the man on your doorstep to make himself scarce, he surprises you by abruptly asking, “May I come in?”
‘No!’ your own voice screams at you from inside your head, ‘Just say no!’
“I’m not sure that’s-“ you begin tactfully, but Mick is already bustling forwards, crowding you until you take a slight step to one side. After that, well… You’ve given him an inch, he’ll take a mile, as it were.
Once he has a literal foot in the door, Mick sweeps past you, moving breezily into your living area and roving his gaze all over the room, hands planted on his hips. “Goodness,” he remarks, cocking his head at your bare walls and sparse décor, “You don’t get much on a cleaner’s salary, do you? You haven’t put that… ahem, bonus to good use yet?”
You want to bristle like a cat that’s been kicked.
Mick’s jab is unmistakable, but his awareness of his own civility is not.
Swallowing back a retort, you simply murmur, “Hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I’ll go and put these in some water.” Truthfully, you’re still reeling from the fact he’d just invited himself inside.
Hobbling towards the sink, you delicately lay the flowers in the washing-up bowl and turn on the tap. An angry ring of red light catches the edge of your vision, and you glance over at the stove-top, clicking your tongue as you reach over and turn the cooker’s dial to the ‘off’ position.
Teeth find the inside of your cheek and bite down on the fleshy wall, worrying at it while you wait for the bowl to cover half of the flowers’ stems.
‘Monty knows better than to give himself away,’ you assure yourself, trying to pretend you can’t feel those eyes prickling at the back of your neck, ‘And it’s getting late. Mick’ll want to get home soon. This isn’t anything other than a concerned manager delivering well-wishes to a member of the staff.’
‘There’s a guest in the house,’ a voice that isn’t entirely your own pops up, unbidden, ‘Offer him a drink.’
“Can I get you anything?” you blurt out, turning off the dripping tap and swivelling about to face Mick, “Coffee? Tea?”
The man throws you a look, barking out a laugh. “My word, someone’s got you well-trained,” he chortles.
The moisture dries up in your mouth. He likely assumes he’s referring to your upbringing, or maybe your schooling, but his statement hits far too close to home and sends phantom prangs of alarm through your brain, fizzing like electricity.
But just as your head starts to feel light…
“No, nothing for me,” he sighs, entirely oblivious to the cracks forming in your outer veneer as he nods pointedly at your television, “Although, uh, TV’s a little loud, no?”
“O-oh, yes,” you give a start, wobbling past him, “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company.” That one was a little barbed, but you think it’s more than justified, given the circumstances.
Making your way to the sofa again, you reach for the controls, intent on swiping them off the cushions, but you freeze in your tracks when your eyes land on the overturned coffee table to your left. The coffee table Monty had knocked aside in his haste to get at you after you collapsed…
Behind you, Mick of course, has already seen it.
“Doing some redecorating?” he comments.
Thinking on your feet, you resume your task of picking up the remote and turning the television off, plunging the room into an uncomfortable silence once more. “No, just… had to move it earlier to do some exercises the physician recommended.”
Mick ‘ah’s’ in apparent understanding whilst you elect to deliberately leave the table where it is, tipped on its side.
“You wouldn’t believe how much space it takes just to do some stretches,” you add, “I haven’t gotten around to moving it back.”
You make a concerted effort to keep your eyes from drifting towards your bedroom door, painfully conscious that the gator must be standing just on the other side, head pressed to the wood to follow the flow of conversation.
“Mm, I can imagine,” Mick grunts noncommittally, and as you return your attention to him, you’re just in time to see him helping himself to a seat on your sofa, breathing out a long, languid sigh as he glances up at you, ruddy cheeks pushing out in a smile. “Come, sit!” he insists abruptly, as if it isn’t your sofa that he’s inviting you to. “Rest that leg of yours, you must be tired.”
If only he knew how terribly his suggestion puts your back up and sends your pulse skyrocketing.
All of a sudden, from the direction of your bedroom door, there comes a soft, nearly inaudible scraping sound, not unlike claws dragging across wood.
To your horror, Mick’s head starts turning towards the noise, but quick as a flash, you draw his focus by stretching your jaws into a wide, obnoxious yawn and settling down on the opposite end of the sofa, leaving a respectable distance between you both.
Covering your mouth with a palm, you loudly proclaim, “Oh! Oh, excuse me. I suppose I have got one foot in bed already.”
You try for light-hearted, miss and land on uncomfortable instead. But if Mick gets the hint, he doesn’t outwardly acknowledge it, merely hums and pulls a handkerchief from the pocket of his shirt, daubing at a glistening temple.
As you perch awkwardly on the edge of the seat, you keep a firm grip on your crutch and make every conceivable effort to avoid casting any wayward glances at your bedroom door. If there’s even the slightest chance that Mick isn’t here because of Monty, then you aren’t keen on blowing your cover.
“So,” the man next to you starts conversationally, clapping his hands down on his knees, “You’re holding up all right, then?”
Shrugging a shoulder, you reply, “As well as I can be, all things considered.”
Mick purses his lips, head bobbing sympathetically. “Mm, I’m sure that’s the case,” he admits, “Bad business, that attack in the tunnels. Very bad business…”
Bad business, or bad for business, you wonder.
And talk about an understatement. You have to sternly remind yourself not to scoff.
His mention of the ‘incident’ however does raise a certain flag at the back of your mind as it occurs to you for the first time that Faz Co. wouldn’t be above sending someone to make sure you’re sticking by the non-disclosure agreement. You wouldn’t put it past them…
Is that why Mick is here? Second guessing yourself for the umpteenth time, you take a deep breath and gently try to steer the conversation towards something of real substance. “I… signed the exec’s paperwork, by the way… So, you don’t need to worry. The matter’s done with, so far as I’m concerned.”
The fact that you now have enough money to start looking for a nicer place to live is certainly motive enough to keep idle gossip to yourself.
In response, Mick only tips his head back and barks out a laugh, “Of course you did,” he chuckles, shaking his head at you, beaming, “You’re a damn good woman. You work hard, you keep your head down. You do your job, and you do it well. You’re loyal…”
Trailing off, he twists himself about at the torso to face you, the smile sloughing off his face as he adds, “Loyal enough that you’d come to the Plex the day after you were carted away in an ambulance.”
With gradual unease, your fingertips curl into the sofa cushions.
Whatever expression you pull must be dire indeed because Mick immediately drops his serious façade and lets out a chortle, leaning across the sofa to give your knee a pat just a few inches from the top of the cast, apparently too amused to notice that you blanch.
“Now then, no need to look so spooked,” he tells you, “I’m not here to lecture you about what you should and shouldn’t be doing following a major incident. I just thought I’d mention that I saw you today-“
You can barely focus on his voice. He’s allowed his clammy palm to lay like a lead weight upon your knee. It’s still there. Why is it still there? The temptation to kick your leg out as if to shoo away a bothersome fly is awfully prevalent.
“I must say,” he carries on, oblivious to the way your gaze drills into the back of his hand, “I was impressed by your dedication to the company. I’d have come over to say ‘hello,’ but…”
Breaking off to torture you with a pregnant pause, the man’s jovial expression collapses, turning sour. “Well…” He clears his throat, shifting in his seat. “Then I saw you were with the gator.”
Right there on the sofa, your heart seizes up.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with that gator recently.”
‘He knows,’ you fret, flicking a frantic look at the door to your bedroom. The evidence is stacking up against you. Why turn up now, and why mention Monty at all?
Fingers trembling, you start the process of falling apart right next to him, debating whether or not to just get it over with and come clean when he suddenly furrows his brows at you and – at long last – draws back, retrieving his hand from your leg. “You need to watch yourself around that bot. You hear me?”
Relief and shock war for control for several seconds as you gape at him, only remembering to snap your jaw shut once you realise it’s been hanging awkwardly ajar for far too long. Swallowing thickly, you try to smooth down your bristling nerves and stammer out a clumsy, “I-I’m sorry?”
“I’m not the only one who’s noticed, you know,” Mick surges ahead as if you hadn’t spoken, “Most of the staff are starting to talk. A lot of the guests too. And now there’s that video going around…”
Your eyes are starting to ache with the effort of keeping them affixed to the manager, not your bedroom door.
“It’s no secret that it’s taken a real liking to you,” he grunts, “And the way I see it, that puts you at the most risk.”
Suddenly, you find it much easier to pay attention. Several, rapid blinks put Mick at the centre of your focus as you politely admit, “I’m sorry, I… I don’t follow.”
The look he gives you is decidedly pitying. Heaving a slow sigh through his nose, he roves his gaze up towards your ceiling as if he means to pluck the right words out of thin air. “Listen,” he begins patiently, like a teacher trying to explain something basic to their struggling student, “Bots don’t just… change like Monty has. I mean, what’s it been? Less than a week? And it’s gone from causing countless incidents of property damage and snapping at every staff member it sees to carrying one across the plex?”
He puffs out a derisive scoff and shakes his head, lips pursed. Then, leaning forward, he links his fingers together and props both elbows on top of his knees, glowering hard at the blank television screen. “I’m not buying it,” he utters darkly, “Sooner or later, its old ways will start kicking in again, and when they do, who’s the person directly in the firing line?”
Peeling one hand away from the other, he curls it into a fist, extends his forefinger, and aims it right between your eyes.
There’s something so inherently disconcerting about the action alone that you physically draw back from the man on the sofa, leaning away and eyeing his hand as though you’re staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. But at the forefront of your mind – and a sudden source of great contention - is his implication that Monty is any kind of threat to you. Perhaps you wouldn’t be feeling a thrum of defensive indignation if the gator himself hadn’t been in the other room, no doubt able to hear every word Mick is saying about him. As it is, your chest starts to buzz with the desire to correct the man’s assumptions.
Peeling a dry tongue from the roof of your mouth, you slowly press out, “With all due respect, Sir-“
“-It’s Mick, doll. Just Mick.”
You try not to pull a face at his interruption. “Mick,” you start again, “With all due respect, I think that’s a bit unfair to Monty…”
At once, surprise opens his expression, smoothing the wrinkles between his brows as they go shooting up his forehead instead.
“Unfair?” he deadpans.
“I just mean that he’s been trying very hard to do things right lately, and we shouldn’t dismiss that just because he's had a few bad days, right?” Instances of breaking into your apartment notwithstanding. “Christ, Mick, he saved my life from that en-“
Mick’s beady eyes narrow at you.
Clearing your throat, you carefully amend, “… from that intruder.”
For several seconds, you watch on as the man’s face twists up once again into a frown, and he purses his lips at you, exhaling roughly through his nose. Leaning sideways across the sofa, he puts himself close to you and raises a finger into the air, wagging it at you in a manner that you really don’t care for.
“One example of the ‘correct’ behaviour doesn’t negate all the harm that bot has otherwise done,” he tells you firmly, “To the brand, to the plex…” Trailing off, his eyes gloss over as they drift to the back of his hand, staring at something you can’t see. After a moment, he quietly adds, “To me.”
Glancing sideways to find you fixing him with a strange look, he pushes out a cough. “A-And it certainly doesn’t prove that it’s safe. Never trust a dog that’s bitten once not to bite again.”
“Monty’s not a dog,” you point out, your brows set in a stern, unyielding line.
“No,” Mick agrees sharply, “It’s a two-tonne animatronic with a history of violence and a penchant for causing trouble wherever it goes.”
All at once, you bridle, clenching your fist around the crutch. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re in your own home that gives you a shot of courage straight through the chest. If Mick had confronted you with these accusations at work, you can’t deny you might have been a little more hesitant to retaliate. As it is, he came into your flat uninvited, he sat on your sofa and started bad-mouthing your friend…
 “Now hang on a moment, that’s just plain wrong,” you retort, “Monty hasn’t caused any trouble for me, and in fact, he’s gone out of his way to help me these past few days – quite a lot, actually.”
Somehow, Mick’s brows travel even further north towards his slicked-back hairline. He blinks, surprised, either because of your sudden and admittedly barbed defence of a bot you’ve only known for a few days, or because he hadn’t expected you to show him your backbone at all.
You quiver angrily on the opposite side of the sofa, heavy eyelids protesting the late hour whilst Mick blows a noisy breath through pursed lips, regarding you with newfound interest.
“Now then, there’s no need to get yourself all worked up,” he soothes cloyingly, “I didn’t come all this way to upset you.”
The willpower it requires not to bark ‘I am not upset!’ is tremendous, even more so to fake an apologetic smile and reply, “Of course you didn’t. Sorry, it’s just been a long day.” And getting longer with every second Mick sits there, behaving as though he’s done nothing untoward simply by being here.
“I’m sure it has,” he remarks.
And then… something happens. Something that sets the synapses in your brain firing off alarm bells left right and centre, paralysing you in your seat.
Without a word to announce his intentions, Mick shuffles himself along the sofa cushions towards you, closing the very deliberate gap you’d wedged between the pair of you minutes ago.
“If I’m being perfectly honest with you,” he begins in a low murmur, and you wish he wouldn’t be honest at all if that’s how he intends to speak, “I’m sorry I ever sent you into that damnable gator’s room in the first place. I mean, granted you’ve saved the company thousands in repairs since then… But… Ah, forgive me, perhaps this is unprofessional but…”
His already soft voice dies to absolute silence as he stretches his hand across the distance between you and sets it down on your leg once more, just above your knee - nowhere an uninvited hand ought to have any business treading.
You can’t tear your eyes off it. All the moisture in your throat has dried up, all the breath in your lungs stays trapped.
You’re not angry anymore.
“I simply wouldn’t forgive myself if that gator hurt you, you know,” his voice sounds muffled, half-drowned out under the blood rushing in your ears, “I’m only looking out for you.”
You’re scared.
He’s sitting close, too close, close enough that the smell of smoky cologne is suddenly clogging up your airways and sticking to the back of your throat when you inhale.
“Can you blame me for worrying though?” he asks, rubbing his hand up an inch as if he’s testing the waters. Sadly, your limits have been pushed before, further and further each time until the bad things just became mildly uncomfortable things, and the really dreadful things were simply better to ignore.
“You really are a very good worker. But that animatronic isn’t safe.”
Your breath catches in your gullet when you swallow, and even now, after all your experience and the hurdles you’ve cleared, you start to doubt yourself. Perhaps Mick really is just concerned. He certainly sounds it. You could be finding horror in something entirely benign. He’s a manager, he knows better.
He’s a molehill and you’re sitting here wondering if you should make him into a mountain.
Fingers twitch against your skin and you blanch, prying your jaws apart to… what? Scream? Tell him to get his hand off you? He hasn’t technically done anything wrong. You let him inside…
All of your senses come flooding back to you suddenly as a strange sound catches your ear; a latch clicking out of place, a handle turning inwards. Ears thrumming with adrenaline, you at last manage to rip at least part of your concentration off Mick and train your hearing towards your room instead.
Luckily for you and the idiot gator trying to stealthily open your bedroom door for some, inane reason, Mick seems far too preoccupied with catching your eye to even register the noise.
He’s looking for a reaction.
The appealing idea that this might just be one big misunderstanding starts to wash away bit by bit.
You cast your mind about, mentally searching the room for something – anything to derail the direction of his goal. When that fails, you reluctantly allow your gaze to wander from your television to the front door, over to the kitchen and then down to the flowers poking over the lip of the sink…
Flowers…
A stray gear in your brain chugs to life, kicking out a single, blessed idea.
“Hah!” you wheeze out breathlessly, forcing a wobbly smile onto your reluctant mouth, “You’re starting to sound like Andy. He worries about me too.”
There. It’s only for an instant, but out of the corner of an eye, you see Mick’s expression falter. “Flowers?” he asks.
“Mmhmm,” you hum, “I’m surprised you didn’t arrive with him actually.” Feigning an expectant glance at your front door, you school curiosity onto your face and add, “You didn’t see him on your way up, did you?”
Mick’s hand starts to raise ever so slightly from your thigh, too slow for your liking, yet you grit your teeth and bear it for a while longer, like you always have.
“See him?” the man blinks, “I… no? Why would I have seen him?”
“Oh, it’s just, he texted me before you knocked on the door. Said he’d be here in another ten… fifteen minutes to drop off some stuff I left in my locker at work. I thought you might have come together.” Shrugging a shoulder as casually as you can, you quirk a brow at Mick and continue, “You really didn’t see him? Huh. I hope he’s okay. It’s not like him to be late.”
On the last word, the feeling of warm, sweaty skin pressed to your leg disappears.
Bingo.
“Well,” Mick announces brusquely, plastering a cheery grin on his face as he leans back and slaps his palms onto his knees, pushing himself off your sofa, “If Flowers is on his way, I’d better let you two have your space. Wouldn’t want to crowd you, hmm?”
Though it damn-near kills you to do so, you tilt your head and ask, “Oh, are you sure? I think he wanted to have a word with you about something.”
Mick’s face turns several shades paler than usual as he stumbles over his response. “Ah, well, I’m sure it can wait until I see him at work tomorrow.” Slipping a finger between his grey tie and the collar of his shirt, he tugs the fabric looser, taking several, hurried steps in the direction of your front door. “I’m sorry to have stopped in unannounced.”
Your smile reveals just a few too many teeth. “It’s not a problem,” you lie, using the crutch to lever yourself onto your feet, “I suppose I’ll see you at work, then?”
Mick’s backwards peddling might have been funny if you were in any mood to laugh.
“Hm? Oh, yes, yes. I’ll see you then,” he titters, “You just stay off that leg in the meantime.” His hand grasps the door handle, sliding clumsily around it for a moment as his damp palms clamber for purchase.
You heart soars when he finally manages to pull it open, only to step halfway outside and hesitate in the threshold of your home. For several, awful seconds, you stare at the back of his head, wondering if he’s changed his mind, or worse, if he’s called your bluff.
Sparing you a look over his shoulder, Mick catches your eye. “Just… remember what I told you about the gator,” he tells you suddenly, “Preferably before you decide to visit the Plex again.”
And with that, he just… leaves, disappearing out into the hallway and pulling your door shut in his wake until the latch ‘clicks’ shut.
Mouth full of cotton wool, you listen intently for the thump of dress shoes hitting carpet to peter out as Mick beats a hasty retreat down the hall. Fainter and fainter, the sound fades, until at last, you hear the far-off 'ding' of the lift doors sliding open and shut, and with a shuddering inhale, you promptly crumple forwards against the door, gasping out a wet, pitiful noise whilst you scrabble at the lock with shuddering fingers.
It’s only when the metal latch slides into place with a definitive ‘shunk,’ that the door of your bedroom bursts open.
With all the speed and unimpeded ferocity of a stampeding bull, Monty comes surging from the darkness of your bedroom, his shoulder struts reared back like a pair of snakes ready to strike.
“What’d he do to you!?” he demands, crossing towards you in just a few strides.
You spare a thought for your downstairs neighbours before you remember they’ve been on holiday since last week. And a good thing too. Each step the gator takes sends tremors through the floor below your bare feet.
Monty’s sensors – by now so well-tuned to your vitals – had been going haywire behind the door, picking up on your thundering pulse and the steady uptick in your cortisol levels. He’d had to stand there, helpless but to listen as Mick spewed his rhetoric into your ear, and Monty hadn’t been able to defend himself or refute the man’s claims at all. But you-!
Wonderful, righteous, amicable you... You had! Monty's systems were thrumming, thoroughly cowed to hear you come to his defence, which made it only more difficult not to burst into the room and sweep you away from Mick when the man all but purred reassurances at you.
But worse, perhaps, was the gator’s inability to see what was happening on the other side of the door. Mick’s verbal blows against Monty’s behaviour couldn’t have been the catalyst for your climbing heartrate, though some small, selfish code in the animatronic hopes you felt at least a little indignation on his behalf.
No… Something else occurred here tonight. Something Monty wasn’t privy to, but wishes he was, if only to settle the ire broiling in his circuits.
You have your back to him, and your forehead pressed against the solid wood of your front door.
He has to see your face… He has to know. He has to read your expression and see for himself that there isn’t any fear there, just exasperation or even a fiery burst of anger. Anything… Just not fear. He would take all the fear in the world from any human he meets if he would only be spared from yours.
Wrestling back the hissing lines of code that poke and prod at his temper, Monty slows to a halt as he reaches you, his apertures twitching wide then narrow again whilst they flit up and down your body in search of damage.
“Hey,” he calls, sliding a single, clawed hand around your bicep, “You hear me? What’d he-?”
If he’d have just known… If he’d have hazarded a guess as to where your mind had gone in that moment, he might have thought twice about laying his hand on you.
“DON’T-!” you yelp shrilly, whirling around to face him and thrusting your wrist against his, knocking the limb aside as if to parry a weapon instead of his arm.
Startled, the gator wrenches his appendage back, holding it above his shoulder in a display of surrender as he blinks down at you dumbly, jaw falling ajar.
And then, he sees it.
You’re staring up at him, your face drawn back, haggard and half-mad with terror, your chest heaves with the effort of taking in breaths.
He doesn’t have to perform a scan to determine what he’s been dreading. Humans have looked at him like that ever since he was first brought online. Monty’s processor thumps, dredging up a memory of Mick - younger and bolder than the man he is now – reeling away from the gator, face as pale as Moon’s and his eyes so wide the entire iris was exposed. Monty remembers the odd sensation of something soft collapsing between his teeth.
The animatronic violently purges the memory from his internal storage, though he knows it’ll still linger there somewhere, buried behind layer upon layer of firewalls until his guard is lowered once more.
All at once, he recoils like he’s been hit by a wrecking ball, staggering backwards until his tail hits the wall behind him and he’s forced to stop. Unable to retreat any further, unable to offer you any more distance, he simply stares at you from his side of the room.
It’s over… This wonderful, safe harbour he’d found in you is finally finished… You believe what Mick had said about Monty being a danger to you.
He always knew this had to end, of course. Good things can’t thrive in the vicinity of a Faz Co. animatronic. He just… didn’t think the time would come so soon.
Even still, he can’t help but cling with raw, desperate hope to you, scrabbling to keep a hold of your good graces because he’s too stubborn or too foolish to let go.
“I-I wouldn’t -“ he starts, concealing his claws with his fists and tucking them against his chest, “- I’d never… I wouldn’t hurt you. Not you, not ever. You’re…”
His voice box sputters, cutting out for a moment as he searches his bank of vocabulary for what you are.
When it finally dawns on him, his processor almost grinds to a halt.
“You’re all I got,” he confesses slowly, surprising himself with the revelation, “I don’t got nobody else…I ain’t gonna hurt you, you know that.”
You have to know that.
Please know that.
Gradually, far too gradually for the gator’s highly strung code to endure, you lower your arm  too look at him, brows high on your forehead.
“Monty?” you utter quietly, sending a quick glance between the animatronic’s downcast snout and the hands he still keeps curled beneath his chest. In another blink, you realise what you’ve just insinuated through action alone.
“Oh, I… Monty – No, of course you wouldn’t. I’m so sorry, I… God.” Slouching back against the door, your head knocks against it as you drop a palm over your face. “This is such a mess.”
Lowering your palm to the door, you splay your fingers over the wood behind you, drawing in a steadying breath and trying to ground yourself to the solidity at your spine. Another breath, and you finally drop your eyes to the gator.
For the briefest moment, you consider telling him why you couldn’t bear to feel a hand on you right now.
Your mouth creaks open, the words sitting on the tip of your tongue.
But something along the vein of common sense tells you that it wouldn’t be fair to burden Monty with such knowledge.
‘Besides,’ you remind yourself, borrowing your mother’s words, ‘It’s all in the past, and least said, soonest mended.’
Morose yet resigned, you swallow back your admission.
“I’m sorry, Monty,” you offer instead, raising a hand to rub at your drooping eyelids, “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Unconvinced, the gator curls his tail inward, eyeing your arm - the one he’d grabbed.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The question seems to creep out of him, his volume levels set so low that you have to strain your ears to hear it.
“No,” you reassure him, dropping your hand to give him a gentle, albeit tired smile, “No, you didn’t. You wouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t,” he readily agrees, lifting his snout a little.
For a few seconds, the pair of you simply regard each other from opposite sides of the room, until eventually – and reluctantly – you have to let your smile fade away, replacing it with a worn, heavyhearted frown.
“That was close though,” you whisper to yourself, letting your eyes slip shut, “Shit, that was too close.”
How on Earth Mick didn’t find out about Monty’s presence here, you’ll never know.
A mechanical whir followed by a thud lets you know the gator has just edged a step closer. “Yeah, no kiddin’…” There’s a pregnant pause, and then you jump slightly, snapping your eyes open as Monty raises his voice to an indignant bark, “And just what in the heck did he think he was doing, comin’ round here in the middle of the night anyway?”
The look you shoot the gator is withering enough to have him tilting his head sideways.
“What?” he asks, apparently oblivious.
You elect to gloss over his blatant hypocrisy in favour of jabbing a finger at him, though the action lacks the same hostility it might have ten minutes ago. “You know, it wouldn’t have been ‘too close’ if you hadn’t been here in the first place.”
Perhaps recognising the rising challenge in your tone, Monty’s stance shifts as he raises up on his struts, towering so high that his mohawk almost brushes the ceiling. He peers down the length of his snout at you, the line of his brows set and rigid, half shuttering his optics.
“I ain’t sorry,” he tells you, and it’s so matter of fact that you give a hard blink, your own eyebrows springing up towards your hairline.
You’re starting to feel a little like Andy. If this is how exasperated the poor mechanic feels when you do something stupid, then you owe him several, sincere apologies.
“I… I was, though,” Monty adds suddenly, lowering his nose as if the bluster was only ever meant to be short-lived, “Before Matthews turned up. But now, I…”
For a second, he falters, then bulldozes through his hesitation with a sharp grunt and a shake of his head, meeting your gaze resolutely. “Now, I’m glad I was here.”
His optics flicker brightly, though they dart between your face and the cast on your leg at frequent intervals as though he’s uncertain of himself yet determined not to back down from his conviction.
“I ain’t stupid,“ he insists, but there’s too much fervency behind it, like you’re not the only one he’s trying to convince, “Matthews was doin’ something to you. If you hadn’t’a got rid of him, I’d’ve…“
“…What, Monty,” you sigh when it becomes clear he’s hesitating to sort through his words again, “What would you have done, short of giving us both away?”
“I’d have stopped him,” he growls, puffing out his chest and jabbing it with the sharp claw of his thumb, “I’d’ve protected you.”
Rolling your eyes, you huff, “Oh, my hero. You’d get yourself scrapped, and me arrested for kidnapping an animatronic.”
It’s disconcerting to see a bot so large and intimidating positively wilt as though your point has just heaped a very real, very tangible weight upon his shoulders.
Letting a sigh slip through your nose, you catch a loose bit of skin between your teeth, worrying at it in the tangible silence that hovers between you and the gator.
You want to be angry with him for being here. You want to tell him how foolish and misguided his programming was to convince him that he should leave the Plex to seek you out. But if there was any strength left in you after the day’s events, it’s been well and truly sapped clean out of you. In fact, ‘sapped’ is too gentle a word for it. As memories try to pile up on top of one another, it takes more effort than you’d care to admit to beat them down again, leaving you with very little residual energy to conjure any resentment for an animatronic who followed you home because he wanted to make sure you got there safely.
This behaviour is so out of character for him.
And you? Well, you’re so out of your depth. Shit, you can never tell Sun and Moon about Monty’s escape. If the daycare attendants find out that they can leave the Plex as well, you’ll be in for a whole new world of trouble.
While you slump against the door, contemplating, Monty’s large head swings to the left, his optics studying the window. He’d wrenched it open so hard the frame had torn jagged splinters from the surrounding wood. The corner of his lips turn south as he lowers his optics to the table he’d overturned. That alone had almost been enough to rouse suspicion, but you’d explained it away expertly, from what he could hear, and Mick ended up none the wiser.
It comes as no real shock to the gator that if it weren’t for your quick thinking and well-oiled responses, he’d have given himself away ten times over. He’d have given you away…
Impulsive, Freddy might call him.
Stupid, would be Roxanne’s more cutting, though no less accurate decree.
It’s never been an easy thing for Montgomery Gator to admit that he might have been wrong. Even if his protocols thrum with a newfound urge to guard a member of Fazbear Co.’s faculty, his processor knows all too well that his coming here put you at the most risk.
The gator’s tail drops to the ground with a dull ‘thunk’ of plastic and metal on the carpet. “I just wanted to do somethin’ right for once,” he utters to the stillness, his truest desire finally spoken aloud.
He doesn’t look at you this time, but his audials pick up your gentle intake of breath and wonders what happened to the animatronic who would have bitten your head off several days ago just for looking at him the wrong way.
At least if that Monty did something wrong, it was usually deliberate. Somehow, as he’s quickly coming to learn, it’s so much worse trying to do something right, and getting it wrong anyway than doing something wrong in the first place.
Hurts more, he concedes.
The gator is too busy discovering the scope of his regret to notice you push yourself off the door, leaning hard onto your crutch as you squint up at him, cocking your head to one side like he’s a puzzle you’re still figuring out. Admittedly, you absolutely are. You’re not an engineer or a programmer. You can’t begin to fathom the depths that Monty’s learning algorithms can reach.
All you can see is an animatronic condemned by those who made him, trying to be better than he’s told he is. So, while you can’t condone his being here, for his own sake, you realise that he - much like yourself - has likely had more than enough of people telling him off.
Sucking down a long, thick breath, you release it all in as weary a sigh as you’ve ever expelled.
“You’re doing fine, Monty,” you say, and it’s kinder, warmer than you’ve sounded all evening, “You’re doing just fine. I mean, this was a little…” Pausing to gesture loosely at the overturned coffee table, you let out a soft laugh and continue, “Uh, overzealous. But your heart was definitely in the right place.”
‘Your heart.’
Slowly, hesitantly, Monty’s tail lifts from the ground, rising with the edges of his crocodilian smile. You might never know how much it means to him that you don’t point out how he doesn’t technically have a heart. And it means even more to hear that you know his intentions came from a good place.
“But,” you add, inhaling, like you’re bracing yourself, “I’m still not happy you’ve put yourself in such a precarious position just to check up on me.”
Monty’s metal framework groans as he slumps again.
“Ugh. Listen to me,” you chuckle, rubbing your temple, “I’m starting to sound like Andy.” Starting forwards, you begin limping for your room, stifling a wide, clumsy yawn behind the back of your hand. “Now, I have had, like, the longest day. And I’m going to bed before I keel over.”
“…But… what about your food?” he asks, sparing a glance over at the saucepan sitting idly on the countertop. The water inside has long gone cold.
Your footsteps pause as you draw alongside him, reaching out to lay a palm on your bedroom door. “I’m not hungry,” you murmur after a second. It’s not entirely a lie. For some reason, the meagre appetite you had for cheap noodles and tea has evaporated, leaving you hollow, yes, but not nearly as hollow as you were rendered by the touch of Mick’s hand on your leg.
Giving your door a shove, you push it open and reach around the corner, sliding your fingers along the interior wall until you find the light switch, flicking it on and illuminating the bedroom with a warm, yellow glow. Monty is frowning at you, you can feel his crimson optics boring into the side of your head, but you ignore him to say, “I suggest you go back to the Plex before you run out of charge.”
You must have mistaken the gator’s earlier acquiescence for a willingness to leave.
“I got plenty of charge,” he deflects.
As it is, Monty’s optics rove over the top of your head, widening significantly behind his glasses as they land upon the contents of the room that he’d been standing in just minutes ago. He hadn’t bothered to sate his curiosity then, far more apprehensive about what was happening on the outside of the space, but now, without oppressive darkness cloaking every corner and without a potential threat to contend with, his protocols take a backseat to his inquisitiveness.
He observes closely as you shuffle into the new territory, your territory, where you immediately make a beeline for the nest – bed, his CPU corrects – that’s set against the furthest wall.
Swinging his prodigious bulk around, the animatronic trails after you, ducking underneath the doorway and raising his snout to the air.
You don’t even have to look over a shoulder to know you’re being tailed. The heavy stomps are proof enough of the gator’s proximity. “Monty, come on,” you whine, “You’ve gotta go home.”
The gator only offers a gruff hum in response, otherwise distracted by the simple yet pivotal revelation that he, for the first time, is seeing your private, recharging chamber. Immediately, he’s struck by how much more lived-in this humble space is. Out there, in your kitchenette and the adjacent living room, everything seemed so much more bland. Less you.
In here, there are pieces of you scattered into each corner of the room, from the pile of unwashed clothes sitting in a nearby chair to the row of house plants lined up like soldiers along the breadth of your windowsill.
Curious, his optics roam towards a desk in the corner, upon which sits - to his immediate intrigue – a large, square tank filled almost to the brim with crystal-clear water, and lit from above by a cool, fluorescent light bulb. He knows what it is at once, though he’s never been privy to one in person before.
At his back, you reach the bed and promptly collapse onto your rear at the edge of the mattress, dropping your crutch to the floor and listening to it land with a sharp clatter of plastic.
“Ohhh,” you groan tiredly, leaning forwards to balance your elbows on your knees and drop your face into a palm, trying in vain to rub away the bags underneath your eyes with numbing fingertips.
Your whole body aches ferociously, all stemming from the sharp twinge of your ankle that lays protected behind a thick, white cast.
Six Weeks…
Day one has been hard enough. How are you supposed to make it to day forty-two? The question remains; is it uphill from here, or down?
Glancing over a shoulder, you restrain an impromptu smile before it can spread as you spot Monty creeping up to the fish tank on your desk, his head hunched low to peer through the glass at your little corydoras sifting eagerly through the substrate in search of hidden food.
“Hey, little guys,” the animatronic murmurs, his optics casting the water in a gentle, pinkish glow.
Fish are a novelty for him. He knows of them, of course, has seen images of them depicting many various shapes, sizes, and colours. He knows they can’t survive for long outside of water, and he knows they’re covered in scales.
But to see for himself how those scales flash under his scrutinous, crimson LEDs, to watch their barbels twitch as they playfully chase one another along the floor of the tank…
There’s a strange kinship there for the creatures who share the waterways with his real-life counterparts.
He likes them, he decides. He likes that you have them. It speaks to an apparent affinity for aquatically-inclined animals…
For several moments, you merely observe the gator from your bed, wondering why he’s stalling. At least, you assume he’s stalling.
“Monty,” you yawn, pretending not to notice how his purple shoulder struts jump in response to your voice, “What are you doing?”
The gator’s head twitches towards you briefly. “M’sayin’ hi to the fish,” he states simply.
Shooting him a deadpan glare, you retort, “You know what I mean. Why are you still here? You need to get back to the Plex before you’re missed.”
“Ain’t nobody gonna miss me,” he shrugs, “Sides, I’ve still got a couple’a hours of juice left in the tank. Don’t worry.”
“But I am worried, Monty,” you squeeze out - and oh, there’s that pinch of tenderness to soften the hard, brutal metal hidden under his casing – “If I wasn’t worried about getting caught, I’d haul you back to the Plex myself… How did you get here unseen anyway?”
“Came over the rooftops,” he replies proudly, cocking his head at a fish that approaches the glass, lured by the glow of his optics.
“The rooftops!?” you sputter, “How on Earth did you get up there!?”
Flashing a cheshire grin, the gator gives the casing on his thigh two hearty slaps. “Got the best pneumatic cylinders in the business. These things’ll carry me distances you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes I use ‘em to get from one side of the catwalks to the other. This is the first time I’ve seen what they can really do.”
Collapsing backwards on top of the covers, you splay your arms out on either side of you, letting a long, appreciative whistle pass your lips. “You jumped…. All the way here?” you realise aloud.
“Beats walkin’.”
“… And you’re going to jump all the way back?”
“Can’t exactly take a cab, can I?”
You don’t respond for a long while… So long that he turns himself all the way around and rises to his feet, half expecting to find you fast asleep on the bed.
Your eyes are closed, and you’ve gone very still. Your chest rises and falls with even, steady breaths, though your legs are still dangling over the side of the mattress, toes brushing against the carpet.
Monty frowns. A hum of machinery gives him away, not so silent as he paces around the bed towards you and lowers himself down onto one knee, reaching for your legs with the intention to lift them up to the bed so you can lay flat.
His first-aid protocols are nowhere near as advanced as Freddy’s, but he’s skimmed enough medical files in the last twelve hours to know that you should keep your damaged leg elevated.
With gradual movements, the animatronic’s fingers flex and stretch for your cast. However, his purple claws barely make it within a foot of your appendage when your body goes absolutely rigid, as though you’ve turned to stone right there on the mattress.
At once, Monty stops, glancing up to see one of your eyelids crack open and swivel over to peer at him, blinking slowly in the glow cast by his optics. “What’re you doing?” you ask guardedly. Something in your voice quivers. He catches it right away.
“I… just – I was gonna put your legs on the bed,” he explains.
The clock on your bedside table ticks quietly ever onwards, and it’s only when you remember to exhale that he considers your expression for another moment and finally ducks his head, asking, “… Can I touch you?”
Stuffing your teeth into your bottom lip, you clutch a fistful of the duvet beneath you and slowly shake your head from side to side. “Not… Not yet… I’m not…”
You falter, swallowing a painful lump that sticks in your throat like guilt. Monty didn’t do anything, after all.
But for an animatronic, his response comes far too softly.
“Okay,” he nods, pulling his hands away and returning them to his lap.
And that’s… all he does for a long time.
Sniffing, you lower your gaze, tugging yourself backwards using the duvet as leverage until you can haul your heavy cast over the side and stretch your legs out towards the foot of the bed, sighing in relief.
"Better put a pillow under there," Monty pipes up, jutting his chin towards the fluffy, white cushions spread out behind you.
Clicking your tongue, you stretch behind yourself and snag the first pillow your fingers grasp, hauling it over your head and tossing it haphazardly near your leg. After taking a moment to brace yourself, you lean back on your elbows and bite your tongue to keep down a cry as you lift the leg up and onto the pillow.
Through it all, Monty says nothing further. He does stare at you though…
You’ve noticed he’s being doing that a lot lately. What was it Mick said?
‘It’s no secret that it’s taken a real liking to you.’
You don’t want to think about Mick.
Finally, when the gator’s staring starts to grow a little too… intimate, you swallow thickly and peel your lips apart to mumble, “Monty, why don’t you want to go back to the Plex?”
He perks up at his name but loses his enthusiasm as he registers the question.
“I’ll go back soon,” he grumbles.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Monty’s vents hiss as he simulates a pensive sigh - like yours - and begins folding his legs up underneath himself, his plates sliding over each other as he settles himself down onto his rear, arms draping loosely over his knees. He knows.
“Six weeks…” he mutters, cautiously lowering his long chin until it brushes the duvet cover beside you. When you don’t protest or move away, he gives his head a little more rein to droop, and the framework in his neck no longer strains to keep it aloft.
Confusion lays its mark bare across your face. “What?”
Six weeks,” he repeats, “That’s how long you’re gonna be gone for. That’s a long time to…” Static clings to his voice-box, stifling his words. With a grimace, Monty thumps a fist twice over his chest until something clicks audibly into place. Then, forcing a laugh, he falteringly adds, “S’a… long time for a bot to go without having his room cleaned, yeah?”
“You could always let the S.T.A.F.F bots help you,” you point out.
“Nah, they wouldn’t do it right.”
A weary smirk toys with the edge of your mouth as you reply, “Well, have you considered – and this might be a bit outlandish, but bear with me here – have you considered just… cleaning it yourself?”
“Course I have,” he retorts, “But… c’mon, it’d be more fun with you, wouldn’t it?”
He should have known when your smirk recedes to leave him looking at a flat, sombre line that you weren’t fooled for a moment.
“Monty… Is the truth really that embarrassing?” you pose.
‘Yes…’ he huffs wordlessly to himself, ‘It is.’
 “It’s all gonna go back to the way it was before,” he mumbles into the duvet.
“What is?”
“Everythin’,” he suddenly exclaims, wrenching his head back up, “It’ll go back to how it was before you came along. You’ll be gone for six weeks! What if I start gettin’ angry again? What if I forget about what you taught me, ‘bout accidents n’ stuff?” That thought brings on another that’s even more dreadful, and he curls his hands underneath his chest, leaning into them against the side of the bed. “What if you forget about me?”
You blink at him, bewildered, studying the jarringly human behaviour he’s exhibiting, and wondering, not for the first time, if it says something about you that you see humanity in so much of what these animatronics do.
“Hey,” you offer, giving him a sympathetic smile when he slides his nose further along the duvet until it almost touches your arm. Almost. “You might be overthinking things, Monty. I’m pretty sure I could never forget you.” You laugh at that, causing him to blow a whuff of air against your forearm. “And besides,” you add, “Six weeks is… like, nothing, okay? It’ll go by faster than you think.”
Far from convinced, the gator only grumbles unintelligibly into the duvet and casts his optics to the other side of the room. The bed underneath you rumbles as the rich bass growls out of his speakers.
“Listen...” you sigh, flopping your head down onto the pillow to blink up at the ceiling overhead, “When I was younger, one of my best friends moved halfway across the world with her family.”
Immediately, the gator’s jaw clenches at the mention of your ‘best friend’ before he catches the action and berates himself for behaving like a toddler being asked to share their favourite toy.
“We haven’t seen each other for… Oh boy, ten years, maybe? I still call her sometimes… Probably not as often as I should... And you know what?”
“…What?”
You roll your head over to peer at the animatronic beside you, finding his focus has returned to your face.
Pulling your mouth into a sleepy smile, you let out a hum before murmuring, “Every time I ring, she’s always so pleased to hear from me. I bet if she were to walk through my door right now, it would be like no time had passed at all.”
Monty’s optic shutters click open and shut. “How come?” he prompts quietly.
“Well, do you think I love her any less now because I haven’t seen her for ten years?” you reply, “Friends can’t be together all the time, you know. Even if they might want to be. Life gets in the way. Families, jobs, fatigue, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still friends. So, you don’t need to worry about not seeing me for a few weeks, okay?”
You can’t help but find this conversation very reminiscent to a similar one you had to have with Sunny after he learned you were leaving for a week of summer vacation.
“I ain’t worried,” Monty lies through his teeth, “Just wonderin’ how you’re gonna have any fun without me around.”
“Fun was not the doctor’s recommended treatment,” you yawn, letting your eyes slip shut and keeping them closed, bogged down by a cumbersome weight that’s been heaped upon your shoulders. A myriad of hurried little thoughts swirl around inside your head, too numerous to pin any single one down. Mick’s arrival and subsequent behaviour, whether you’re trying to read too much into what might have been nothing more than a friendly gesture, Monty’s escape from the Plex and the sudden responsibility you have for an animatronic you’ve barely known a week…
You just need to sleep.
‘It’ll all make sense in the morning,’ you try to tell yourself…
You’d make a shit salesperson.
For some time, the quiet gurgling of your tank's filter provides a soothing backdrop to the silence cast between you and the animatronic.
“Can I stay here?” Monty’s question breaks through the fog of flitting thoughts, his volume barely a digit away from being entirely mute, “With you? Just for a lil’ while?”
Prying your eyelids apart to blink tiredly at the gator, you let your chest fill with a slow, heavy breath, blowing it all out again through your nose.
“… Just this once,” you whisper back.
The gator’s optics brighten, then flit towards the movement of your hand on the bed.
You’ve raised your forearm, inching the appendage closer to Monty’s snout. Fingers worn dry and abrasive from chemicals and labour touch down on top of the animatronic’s nose, followed by your palm, spreading a pleasant flood of warmth down through his teeth and onto his tongue.
In response, some of Monty’s systems backfire, kicking errors codes to his HUD that tell him he’s overheating, and should release excess coolant to the affected areas. He ignores the alerts. He ignores everything. Everything that isn’t your hand is left by the wayside, forgotten in favour of soaking up a touch that he knows would never cause hurt.
Letting his optics click shut, the gator draws his silicone lips up into a lax, lazy smile.
The muffled ‘thumps’ of a heavy tail fall and rise from the carpet over and over, and Monty’s frame seems to purr as he relaxes his massive head onto your mattress, contented and committed to this spot until his battery hits zero and his limbs rust from underuse.
He knows he has to leave, but for now, just pretending… It’s the happiest he’s been in…
It’s the happiest he’s been.
“Just this once.”
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ruby-red-inky-blue · 4 months
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honestly critical role has never been more relatable than Caduceus/Taliesin in the Rumblecusp arc
being put in an environment where you SHOULD thrive, only to fail comically at literally any given opportunity and discovering for the first time that you have some surprising capacity for resentment for something you love that you've built your whole identity on
also I know Caduceus is dumb as rocks in an education sense but those investigation checks they kept having to make felt like they SHOULD be wisdom checks at this point (because common fucking sense would tell you to just hand your shit to someone else once you notice you lose possessions every night) so watching him spectacularly fail every single one of those felt exactly like my life feels right now. Like I should know all the ways to prevent this and yet every day I fail again at the same task right out the gate
the absolute resignation this is all met with. like even for Caduceus that was a level of nonreaction I never thought possible. not a zen unbotheredness, just complete defeat. there is so much frustration underneath the surface and yet such a complete lack of energy to try and fight it, truly only going through a pandemic and/or a real weird mental health funk can breed the vibe of "help. it's again."
also, as someone who doesn't really give a shit about sex, like Caduceus, and prides themselves on their eloquence, like Taliesin, I've never seen myself so clearly represented as i have in the character and the player's combined struggle against the horny-twelve-year-olds energy of this cast
I too have experienced the "i see you giggling over something i said that wasn't even that much of an innuendo but i'm just gonna keep talk- oh no yeah no what i've said now is just a much bigger innuendo" so many times
and then you try and choose your words more carefully. because that's like, the one thing you're good at. and discover that a) once the giggles get going, it doesn't fucking matter and b) there's now not one synonym left in your brain that's not an open invitation
and now you're somehow the least invested in the joke but the most embarrassed by it
"how much of your brain is just innuendo???" the number of times i've wanted to ask people that
the deep disappointment when Travis joined into the madness
living vicariously through the mumbled asides of "all of you. it's all of you" "it's nonstop!"
also watching your group make a TERRIBLE plan but being unable to come up with a better one, so instead of poking holes in it until all your friends hate you you just quietly watch the catastrophe happen, and pray you'll have enough restraint left by the end of it to not say "i could've told you so" out loud
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forsaire · 9 months
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How Ghost and Soap demonstrate the five love languages to each other. They don't have just one as they will shower each other in love in every single way they can 😊😊
Physical Touch
Ghost loves touching Soap’s face. He’ll gently cup the side of his face and let his fingers trace down his chin, cheeks, and lips until he’s memorized every mark and feel even with his eyes closed. Ghost revels in the way that Soap looks up at him with complete trust and feels privileged he’s able to look into those beautiful blue eyes for one day more.
Ghost can’t get enough of Soap’s strong thighs either, their size just perfect for grabbing onto. He’s also quite the fan of a cheeky little ass grab when he’s feeling particularly frisky.
Soap loves touching Ghost’s hands and hair. Soap has gotten into the habit of absentmindedly playing with Ghost’s fingers when they sit together for meals, talk, watch a movie, or even rest their eyes in bed before falling asleep. He loves these hands that Ghost so often says are killer’s hands. But they feel so soft under Soap’s touch as Ghost allows them to be controlled so easily and maneuvered without fear.
Soap will also curl his fingers through Ghost’s hair, gently tugging at the strands and scratching his scalp in the way he knows Ghost likes. He usually tends to do this in the evening or when Ghost can’t sleep. Under his soothing touch, Ghost will quickly relax and soon be overtaken by sleep once again.
Words of Affirmation
Ghost hasn’t always had the most eloquent way of speaking. Words don’t necessarily come easy to him and he struggles with the awkward feel of them in his mouth some days. Often times, the words that Ghost expresses have deeper meanings that they both understand.
“Stay sharp.” – Stay safe. I can’t lose you.
“Do you want something to eat?” – Let me take care of you.
“I’m with you.” – I love you.
He way he speaks Johnny’s name is so tender and sweet that it can convey everything he ever wanted to say.
Soap on the other hand doesn’t have the same troubles with his words. He’s like a bull in a china shop in a sense. He has no reservation to say he loves Ghost’s. But one of his favourite things to do is pepper Ghost’s cheeks with kisses and softly whisper how beautiful he is into his skin. He’ll do it over and over again until he’s rewarded with a faint blush that spreads across Ghost’s cheeks.
Quality Time
Soap is an avid football fan and loves to watch the games on TV, getting very animated and passionate when he does so. Ghost isn’t that interested in the sport, but he still enjoys sitting next to Soap while they’re happening. He finds great entertainment in watching Soap’s face light up with happiness or fall in despair. Soap is also so passionate when he tries to tell Ghost who all the players are, what teams to root for, and even all the drama that has unfolded off the pitch. Although Ghost was never a huge football fan when he was younger, he recently found himself cheering for an amazing save alongside Soap during one of playoff matches.
Ghost is a fairly decent cook, having had to teach himself at such a young age, while Soap tends to like things that are done fast and easy. They enjoy cooking together, even if Soap just acts like an assistant the whole time. At first Soap was only allowed to cut certain vegetables and stir but the two of them have enjoyed learning together.
They both love going for drives and being outside when they’re on leave together. They’ll plan to enjoy the fresh air of a hike, climb, or swim when they get the chance. They’ll be out for 12 hours a day and come home exhausted to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Acts of Service
With Ghost having overused his body as a weapon for so long, he tends to get sore nowadays. When Soap notices one of these days, he will happily provide Ghost with a massage, especially around his shoulders and back. Rolling out the knots and pain, Soap will watch as Ghost melts under his firm and delicate touches.
Ghost also tends to forget to charge his phone at night, so Soap will do it for him. Usually Soap will find his phone buried in the bedsheets and put it to charge after Ghost has fallen asleep or he’ll remember to do it in the middle of the night. Ghost’s phone has never run out of battery but not for a lack of Ghost trying. To this day, Soap thinks Ghost still doesn’t realize.
Ghost will clean Soap’s weapons and sharpen his knives whenever he is doing his own. He always makes sure to take extra care with Soap’s belonging because it could be a matter of life and death. And Ghost is going to make sure they both come home at the end of the day.
Ghost also doesn’t mind cleaning, the monotony and routine of it comforting in a way. He never thought he would get the chance to do domestic things so it welcomes it when he can and enjoys the feeling of being “normal”.
Gift Giving
Neither of them tend to give each other many gifts and only do it occasionally. Their lives in the military have taught them to be able to pack light and move fast. Both of them find that no object can ever replace the excitement and joy they get from just being together.
After they get married, Soap gifts Ghost a set of dog tags engraved with Simon MacTavish. Professionally, Ghost still answers to Riley – they learned this the hard way with a couple of mishaps and callouts to the wrong person while on a mission which led to undue confusion. Therefore it made sense to keep separate names while on a mission. But everywhere else in Ghost’s life, he is a MacTavish through and through.
Ghost always knows when Soap is nearing the end of his notebook and gets him a new one before its done. He will also give Soap a new set of nice pencils to work with as well.
But the most important gift they ever gave each other was their simple, gold wedding bands that lay proudly on their hands.
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the-garbanzo-annex-jr · 2 months
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by Steven Zeitchik
Those comments sparked a backlash at the time. But many liberal Jews in Hollywood, media and tech identified with her remarks.
To some non-Jews I talked to, today’s news was just a case of a tribal rooting interest not going our way. “Oh well, you’ll get the next one,” went their vibe. But when a Jewish leader this popular from a state so necessary gets passed over, it becomes more than just a matter of losing a round of identity-politics poker — it touches an existential nerve.
Some Jews have also noted that in choosing Walz, Harris was simply trying to stay away from raising Gaza as an issue. But outside of antisemitic projection, why would it do that? The idea that a candidate would automatically want to talk more about Israel simply because he’s Jewish raises ugly tropes of dual loyalty, or worse.
Wary of seeming killjoyish, some liberal Jewish Americans also sought to find a silver lining — at least now Jews wouldn’t be blamed for administration failures, they said. They cited The Atlantic’s Yair Rosenberg, one of the most eloquent expositors of the double standards applied to Shapiro, who in a recent piece expressed some reservations about what a Shapiro vice presidency would bring.
“Anti-Semitism conceives of Jews as clandestine puppeteers who control the world’s governments and economies, fueling political and social problems,” he wrote. “A Jewish vice president would provide the perfect canvas for these fevered fantasies — a largely ceremonial figure onto whom bigots could nonetheless project all of their conspiracies, casting him as the real power behind the Resolute Desk.”
Rosenberg has forgotten more about the history of antisemitism than most of us will ever know. But this train of thought has always struck me as self-defeating. The response to fears of prejudice can’t be, “Let’s hide the Jews to prevent us from finding out about it.” 
A Jewish vice president would have been important not only because it would have signaled the latest progress of one ethnic group in America as thrillingly as Harris’ candidacy does for Americans of Black and Indian heritage, but also because it would have drawn antisemites out from the crevices, shining Louis Brandeis’ disinfecting light brightly upon them.
(That Harris’ husband is Jewish, incidentally, should do little to quell the unease. Jewish affiliations are proof of nothing except the reminder of past justifications. It calls to mind those who several years ago said Taika Waititi’s Nazi comedy Jojo Rabbit couldn’t be antisemitic because Waititi was Jewish. It wasn’t antisemitic. But that wasn’t the reason.)
Walz is a solid candidate with a strong record of speaking out against antisemitism. Just this spring he told Twin Cities PBS that, “I think when Jewish students are telling us they feel unsafe in that, we need to believe them.”
But Walz’s pro-Jewish bona fides don’t mean the decision to put him on the ticket — or the reaction to his appointment — can’t also be shadowed with antisemitism. Both can be true.
And so here liberal Jews again find ourselves, hopelessly marooned between a belief that Democratic policies are fundamentally better for our interests and yet worried we are not welcome in our own home — feeling a gentle nudge that perhaps we might find ourselves more comfortable in another place but unsure, in the end, of where else to go.
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a-not-so-clean-blog · 10 months
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Nu carnival boys and how they would react to someone screaming at you
Yakumo
He's scared for you. He holds your hand trying to comfort you and himself. After the person leaves he's going to spoil you for the rest of the day. He's going to get you all kinds of treats and do anything he can to take your mind off of what happened. He's got anxiety for the rest of the day but tries not to show it.
Edmond
He is going to use his knowledge of law to threaten the person right back. He does it in such an eloquent way so that no repercussions can fall back on you. It's his job to protect the kingdom from ‘disturbance of the peace’, ‘harassment’, or ‘threat of bodily harm'. All very serious crimes. The person shuts up and skulks away pretty quickly. Afterwards he'll take you out for some sweets, but you'll have to wait for him to get off of patrol first.
Olivine
Honestly most people calm down as soon as he points out that they're getting aggressive. I mean how are you supposed to argue with a priest about anger? It's incredibly rare that he can't deescalate a situation but if he can't then he will usher you into a different area and close the door. Even if the other person tries to open the door or he is much stronger and can simply hold it closed until they tire themselves out and go away. Then he can sit with you and rub your back until you feel better.
Quincy
For the most part he'll let you handle your own battles, but it's a different story if he starts to see your hands shaking or something telling him that you can't handle this. He'll stand up and loom over you as a silent threat to the other person. He doesn't want to get physical but the moment the person gets too close he's on them like a wild animal. He won't throw a punch but he is going to pin them and whisper something in their ear. You don't want to know what he said and he's not going to tell you. He'll let you cuddle with him after because naps fix everything.
Kuya
He takes in every feature of the person, committing them to memory. Kuya may insult them to take their attention off of you, because he knows he can take whatever pathetic insults this puny human can say. After the person is gone he will tell you not to worry about them and they aren't worth your thoughts. Some time later Kuya is going to find them and trap them in an illusion making them lose their mind. It's what they deserve for upsetting you.
Blade
He's confused why someone is mad at you. Once he realizes what the person is saying to you he enters “protection mode”. If the person takes even a single step towards you then Blade is fully ready to attack. You may even need to defend this person from Blade if it escalates that much. After everything is said and done blade asks why they were so upset and when you explain why he's just so confused because it does not make any sense to him. How could someone get so hostile towards you?
Garu
He's going to physically get between you and the person yelling at you. He's going to try to take their attention off of you and put it on to him instead. He's going to be upset after getting yelled at but he's going to be even more upset if he watches you get yelled at. If things get taken too far he may tap out and let Karu take over, but he'll try his best to make the person leave you alone.
Karu
He's going to bite them. No questions asked. If he has to switch in he is attacking first and asking questions never. It all happened so fast and he is grabbing your hand and running away. He boasts about how strong he is and that he'll always be here to protect you.
Dante
It depends. If you did something stupid he will let the other person say their piece, but will stop them if they go to far. He will comfort you afterwards but will also discuss how the situation could have been handled instead. If you did nothing wrong and the person is just screaming at you then you better believe Dante is going to punish them harshly. Sure he'll try to deescalate the situation first but if the person doesn't back off then they will feel the wrath of the sun.
Rei
He is going to verbally rip this person apart. Normally I say Rei uses his intelligence for evil, but in this case he will pinpoint every insecurity that this person has and break them down piece by piece. If this person didn't have any self-image issues before then they sure do have some now because Rei is about to give them a big inferiority complex.
Eiden
He's going to get mad and start yelling right back. He doesn't care even if you were at fault, he's got your back no matter what. Now it's him and this person screaming and Eiden is ready to throw hands. After everything is over he makes really sarcastic comments about how that person was an idiot. He'll make sure you guys go out and do something fun to destress.
Aster
He'll just jump into the situation and shove a piece of paper into the person's face, and they will instantly go pale. Aster has blackmail on literally everybody and he is more than willing to use it for you. Afterwards he will joke about how dumb that person was to be mean to you and if you're lucky he may buy you something as well.
Morvay
He's going to just take your hand and walk away. Even if the person is still yelling at you and following, he's just going to keep walking and talk to you about whatever ‘fun’ thing you're going to do next. He kind of hopes the person is just going to stop. If they don't though he is going to turn around and say something really vulgar for shock value, then just continue to walk away while the person is too stunted to do anything. Afterwards he just laughs about the whole situation to make you feel better, and goes on about how stupid they looked.
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wzrd-wheezes · 1 year
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random remus lupin headcanons that i can’t stop thinking about part 2:
- he swears a lot. like a lot. every couple of sentences will have a swear word in, so much so that he doesn’t even notice that he’s doing it.
- james and sirius find it funny though because he uses really “big words” sometimes and is quite eloquent when he speaks but then every other word will be a swear word.
- he loses stuff all the time like he’s so forgetful when it comes to his belongings, unless it’s something he really cares about.
- “where the fuck is my fucking coat?”
- like this man will put something down and then two seconds later he’s forgotten where it is and he’s looking around for it and accusing sirius and james for trying to mess with him.
- “i told you to stop moving my stu - never mind i found it”
- he has such a dry sense of humour and is so so so sarcastic. like, he will say the most outrageously funny things but with the most deadpan expression on his face.
- he’s so quick witted. he literally will have a comeback for everything and a lot of the time people don’t expect it from him and are shocked
- he’s so clumsy. he’s constantly dropping stuff and accidentally breaking stuff
- sirius and james call him “wreck it remus”
- because of this he’s always covered in random bruises and scratches because he just constantly bumps into stuff. he also definitely apologises to inanimate objects when he bumps into them
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ubtendo · 1 month
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Nah fam, the joke is on YOU bc I LOVE when people share interests. Gimme the bug lore and the Briggsbek content. I'm shaking the bars of my cage.
Not really bugs, but imagine Torbek having a higher resistance to spider venom and/or scorpions. He had a "'"pet"'" scorpion named Bobby.
He's like a Disney Princess but Specifically For Bugs/insectoid things.
Also visually impaired Briggsy AAAAAA. Tie in neurodivergent Torbek with a wide vocabulary and I bet you dollars to donuts that this bugbear absolutely describes the colors and looks of different bugs, but between guiding gentle touches and stating colors, he follows it up with like. The sensory experience of the colors. Similar in a vague sense to synesthesia, but all the colors and shades are independent to each other.
As for nicknames, Briggsy would call Torbek fitting things like Atlas (big) and such, but also stuff like Bugaboo, lovebug ((not literal ones bc Torbek may have OPINIONS on those, but the term is still cute)), honeybee, buzzy, and tying in some self indulgent stuff, when Torbek is overstimulated, it's burrito bugbear hours and Briggsy calls him some variant of caterpillar.
Torbek personally isn't big on pet names, but he does have special bugs that he holds up apropos nothing and goes "this one reminds me of you" and then he goes on a total in depth explanation as to why and how and what features contribute to that explanation.
((P.S. don't imagine Torbek being near illiterate but able to read Sylvan near fluently after his capture. Don't imagine him having a decent grasp on most spoken languages but still struggling to read. Don't imagine Torbek casually being a polyglot and never realizing it's smth impressive.))
((P.S.S. Don't imagine briggsy having mapped out all of Torbek's features by sound and touch. Don't imagine his terror of eventually losing those senses as well. They send audio messages mostly. And then Do NOT Imagine the metamorphosis in the EoM campaign and Briggsy's sheer joy of semi-lucidity of senses, of the knowledge that he'll one day be able to see and taste and touch his lover in full. But of it only happens when they're worlds apart and trapped as such))
You are killing me, anon
Anon my heart
I don't even know how I can add to that, this is perfect
First of all I wanna bite myself in the butt for not thinking of Bugaboo (I love that nickname, I'm so mad at myself) and Torbek would call Briggsy "Captain" to ground him when his temper is acting up
And Torbek being the princess of bugs is cannon now to me. I imagine especially after being modified with the witchlight, he would have not an immunity but a resistance to bug venom
Also, even tho I haven't seen it yet, it would really frustrate me if someone just hears Torbek talk and think that he would be "stupid" because of the way he talks. You would just need to really listen once to what he is saying to realise that Torbek is actually quite eloquent, so thank you for pointing that out, he would be sitting there for a lifetime visualising world verbally for Briggsy, and he would switch between languages when he thinks that they would sound nicer as a description
And everytime (fiction or non fiction) a visually impaired or blind person asks "to see someone face", it just melts my heart. Cause even tho they can't see too know what the eye color or hair colour of the other is, they know every wrinkle, every mole, if you have dimples or acne or a sort of facial fluff, the way your nose is shaped and how your lips feel, the unique way your ear is shaped, they know your face better than you yourself and better than every other seeing person (sorry had to get that one of my chest) so Briggsy doing the same with Torbek is just -GAH💕
(I haven't seen up to the metamorphosis episode yet but I know about this already because I've read through Briggsys, honestly very empty, fanwiki article but his thrill of that he might be able to actually SEE him? I'm bawling)
AHRG EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR ASK IS PERFECT I LOVE IT
We are all building this ship together and that is really something special
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