#and I know it was because she was mad at me bc I was absent

[r0entgen]

Should I message my friend that blocked me a year ago and recently unblocked me or

[puck-luck]

give him six | trevor zegras

warnings: extreme domination. EXTREME domination. daddy kink because i do what i want. edging. spanking. cockwarming. at the same time. don’t worry about it. i do what i want. HINTS of anal play but they don’t actually do it. derogatory language (name calling…). crying during sex. sorry! spit kink. had to be done. subspace! ugh need a man to put me in that BAD bad pairing: trevor zegras x fem!reader summary/request: “thinking about trevor zegras needing to fuck his gf roughly after a tough game to let out his frustration bc i can sooooo see him being into that. but he’d always be looking out for u too, saying to tell him if it hurts and checking in to ask if she’s ok, but as soon as she assures him she is he’s just going absolutely nuts not holding back 🫠” wc: 4109

You don’t have to look at Trevor to see how angry he is. He lost a few weeks of hockey due to his broken ankle and now he was back– but he couldn’t make a fucking goal in a shootout to get the win for his team? The worst part was that his shot was denied not by the goalie, but by the post. By the fucking post. 

Trevor loves to flaunt his accuracy in the backyard, in the practice rink, even when tossing trash into the garbage bin, but the one time he doesn’t mean to hit the post, the puck does? It’s idiocracy. It’s humiliating. He’s better than this. He knows it, you know it, the whole world knows it. But St. Louis got to celebrate tonight, and maybe if he hadn’t hit the damn post, then he’d be celebrating with his teammates instead of stewing in your bed. 

His arms are crossed over his chest and the TV isn’t even on– you join him and want to laugh at the image of your pouty boyfriend wallowing in silence. You climb under the covers with Trevor. 

“You did really well, Trev,” you compliment, settling into the mattress.

“We should’ve won,” he replies.

You sigh. “You can’t win them all.”

Trevor scoffs. “Yeah, well, we could’ve won this one,” he snaps.

You stare at him for a moment while his tone really sets in. “You don’t have to talk to me like that,” you say, your voice growing cold. “I wasn’t out on the ice with you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He, at least, sounds the part. He covers his face with his hands, the heels of his palms pressed against his eyes. “I just– I’m so mad.”

You take a deep breath. You don’t have to be at work until 9 and it’s about five minutes away if you leave on time. You have to do the laundry tomorrow afternoon anyway. Trevor would feel better if you did this. You really wanted to sleep after the game tonight, but it would be a lie if you said you didn’t want to make him feel better. Another deep breath.

“Why don’t you take it out on me?” You ask.

Trevor looks over at you, surprise written all over his features. “Really?” He asks, like a child who was just told that he could have another candy before bed. “Like last time?”

Last time. You practically start salivating, thinking about how Trevor brought you to the edge and ripped you away from the cliff time after time, until you were sobbing and screaming and begging for a release. 

“Yeah, like last time,” you agree, already a little absent. Trevor notices, of course he does, he’s more in tune with your body than you are at this rate.

A smile tugs on the corner of Trevor’s lips, but he ignores it.

“Hands and knees,” Trevor says. “Right in front of me.”

You position yourself accordingly.

Trevor smooths a hand over your behind, your shirt riding up and exposing your skin due to the position you’re in. You hadn’t worn anything else to bed– why would you? You and Trevor had been together for ages and you weren’t exactly new to his… post-loss coping mechanisms. 

“Elbows,” Trevor corrects. His cock twitches when you immediately drop to your elbows, no hesitation in your movements. You’re silent, like he wants when you play like this, and you’ll do anything he says. You’re gorgeous like this, all spread out and listening to him with your head forward like a good girl, waiting for your next instruction.

You hear his voice over the thumping of your heart, although you’re not sure how. You’re always finding Trevor in the mess of everything. 

“Bite the sheets,” Trevor commands, shimmying out of his boxers. You can hear him moving and you take the bedsheets in your mouth, the fabric almost immediately saturating with your saliva. “Close your eyes.” You slide your eyes shut and wait, your shaky breath filling the room and heating your face.

Something warm probes at your entrance and for a moment, you can’t tell if it’s Trevor’s fingers or his cock. The answer comes to you via a sharp spank on your left cheek, with Trevor’s left hand. He always fingers you with his left hand so that he can keep his right around your neck– the hand that’s currently kneading your other cheek. 

He pushes his cock into you slowly, the movement more like he’s pulling you back than pushing you forward. 

“Six shots,” Trevor muses, watching his cock disappear into you. “Six shots, and I didn’t make one.”

You bite back the reassurance, swallowing it. Trevor doesn’t want to hear it.

“Do you know how that feels?”

You don’t answer. He still doesn’t want to hear it.

“I’ll show you,” Trevor promises, his voice deceptively soft. His hand rests against your skin, heavy and present. 

You get lost in the feeling easily, your mouth full of the comforter and your fingers twisted in the top sheet. Your eyes stay closed, the red-tinged darkness grounding you. 

“Yeah, I’ll show you,” he repeats, his voice darker this time. “You’re going to understand exactly what it feels like to come so close six times, just for all of that to be taken away from you.”

Your eyes open at his words and you pale. You spit the covers out and break your silence. “Six times?” You ask, incredulous. “Trev.”

“Daddy,” Trevor corrects with a spank. “Unless that’s… not what we’re doing tonight?”

You clench down on his length at the contact and the name, your eyes rolling into the back of your head at the sound of his voice. Trevor is playing with you, teasing you. His fingers are walking all over you– the small of your back, your cheeks, down your crack all the way to where he’s buried inside of you… and it’s distracting.

You find yourself nodding. “It is.”

“Good,” Trevor says. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll make the second and third ones quick, okay?”

His voice is full of condescension, like he knows you’re going to lose track of everything as soon as he starts hitting you. He’s right, but that’s neither here nor there.

For as long as you’d been dating Trevor, you’d never seen him tap into the mindset that he has on the ice off the ice. However, when he’s bringing his hand down on your ass, he gets pretty damn close.

His spanks are precise and powerful. He’s leaving pink handprints all over your skin, from the fleshy parts of your ass to the top of your thighs, even a few falls over the hole that he’s not occupying. Each flash of his hand leaves your skin burning and your hips inching upwards, begging for more. All of this, and he’s still inside you– the torture of the spanking is that he isn’t moving, and you’re not supposed to.

You lose track of the count, feeling your stomach flip with each slap. What starts as stinging pain turns into aching pleasure, and the sensations aren’t lost on Trevor.

He feels you jolt each time he brings his hand down on your skin, the clench of your pussy around his cock, the pounding of your pulse from inside of you. Trevor smirks and shifts his hips forward as he brings his hand down, his hand making contact with your asshole just as his tip nudges against your g-spot.

You wail, lurching under Trevor’s watchful eye. You fuck back on his cock once, only managing the movement one measly time, before Trevor stills you with a hand and slides out of you.

“No,” you breathe out, voice muffled by your makeshift gag. 

“Yes,” Trevor replies, smug. “Isn’t it frustrating?”

You glare at him, turning so he can see the look on your face.

All it does is make him laugh. “Well, now I have to really punish you, don’t I?” He asks. “I can’t have my baby making angry faces at me.”

Trevor taps your hip, wordlessly telling you to move. You resume your original position next to him, expecting Trevor to tell you to put your “pretty little hand” on his cock and jerk him until he comes all over your freshly manicured fingers. 

You don’t expect him to slide under the covers and hike up your shirt until your breasts are exposed. Trevor hooks a leg around yours, his mouth exhaling warm air onto your nipple. His fingers tap at your skin, one hand on your side and the other on your mound, making its way south. 

“We’re going to do four like this,” Trevor tells you. His voice is merely a whisper, crawling over in your skin and raising goosebumps in its wake. “Just like this. I’m gonna take one,” he breathes, catching your nipple between his teeth for a split second before continuing. “Right here. Gimme one, baby, just from me licking your tits. I know you can.”

He dives in, tongue first. Your jaw drops as Trevor’s eyes close, the same way you know they do when you kiss him. It’s surreal, seeing him kiss and lick over your skin the way he normally does over your lips. His eyelashes flutter, the long, dark pieces of hair stealing your train of thought. 

Trevor surprises you with how quickly he brings you to the edge again. He promised that the second and third would be quick, but you didn’t know just how quick he meant.

You let out a strangled gasp and your hand flies to Trevor’s hair when he opens his eyes and lets his adoring gaze fix on your face. You pull him off your chest, heaving breaths filling your lungs. 

Trevor smirks, but it never quite reaches his eyes. The same look burns you, makes you shy under his gaze. You blush and look away, one of your hands covering the redness on your cheeks.

“Good,” Trevor remarks, a mere observation. “You got close, didn’t you, baby?”

You nod, still breathing heavily.

Trevor waits, expectant. He tilts his head down and blinks.

“Yes, Daddy,” you concede. “I was close.”

“Honest girl,” Trevor praises. His fingers dance over your slit. “Love you.”

“Love you,” you parrot back to him. 

Trevor rewards you by pushing one finger into your heat, pumping it in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace. 

Your breath stays shaky, your eyes never leaving Trevor’s. His finger drags along your walls, petting the inside of you with its pad, and you swear you can feel the ridges of his fingerprint inside of you if you focus enough. 

It’s hard to focus on that when Trevor’s got his scrutinizing eyes on yours, though.

“What finger is it?” Trevor asks.

“What?” You stammer, finally blinking and breaking the trance. 

Trevor’s other hand flies up to steady your chin before you can look down and ruin his game. “Which finger–” Trevor asks, curling it inside you. “–am I fucking you with?”

Your brain stalls. It’s a no-brainer, really, you should know each of Trevor’s fingers by feel alone with how often they make their way inside of you. However, you’ve been denied two orgasms already and Trevor is close to taking a third from you with just his smug stare.

“Come on,” Trevor goads. “You know which finger this is, baby. The faster you tell me, the faster I get you to your orgasm.”

“Yeah, the faster you take it away,” you reply. 

Trevor’s eyes cloud over and he jams his finger inside you, increasing his pace. “Don’t be a bitch.”

You open your mouth to retort, but Trevor twists his finger inside of you.

“Unless you want me to fuck you like one,” he teases. 

You clench down on Trevor’s finger, his middle finger you realize, when he utters those words.

“You like that?” Trevor asks, unnecessarily. He can feel how you feel about it. “You like the idea of me getting my cock in you and fucking you like a damn animal? What is it, baby? Is it the primal instinct of it all or just the fact that I’m disciplining you like you’re worth less than I am?”

You moan at his words, logical responses and formed sentences too far from you to grasp.

“Tell me.” Trevor nudges your g-spot and you arch your back, your hips grinding against his finger… just for him to draw it out of you. “Not so fast. We’ve still got three more to go.”

“I was close,” you complain.

“So was I,” Trevor counters. “Hurts, doesn’t it? When things don’t work out the way you want them to?” 

“Trevor!” You frown, put off by his game.

“Well, now you’ve really done it,” Trevor growls, shoving two fingers inside of you and resting his thumb on your clit. “You know better than to call me by my name.”

You’re drenched in sweat and slick, so Trevor’s movements aren’t hindered in the slightest, not even when you squeeze your thighs shut. All Trevor does is push them open, trap your thigh under his bony knee. Somehow, even though you just had your legs spread, Trevor seems to push in further and rub your clit faster, hitting every right spot in alternating movements: clit, then g-spot, clit, then g-spot again. And over and over.

You don’t warn him this time, you don’t pull away. You try not to clench down, you try not to rock your hips, you try anything that might get you real relief from a real orgasm without Trevor noticing.

But it’s also a futile effort because your boyfriend knows you that well.

He withdraws his fingers just as your legs, the traitors, begin to tremble.

“Oh, baby, you didn’t think you’d get away with that, did you?” Trevor teases.

“Please,” you beg. “Please, Daddy.”

Trevor’s eyes flash with approval and he teases your entrance again, this time with a third finger. “Don’t worry,” he coos. “We’ve only got two more. Then I’ll let you come.”

You choke on your own spit when Trevor buries his three fingers inside of you, all in one motion. He doesn’t dawdle or stall for time. He doesn’t take advantage of the situation at hand– that you were already shaking for him and a pump of his fingers would give you away to the pleasure just on the other side of your approaching peak.

No, he doesn’t pump his fingers. He just wiggles them as deep as he can get them and smirks before dropping a kiss on your lips. He lowers himself then and blows cool air on your clit, spreading your folds with his other hand so the full bundle of nerves is revealed to him. He leans in and captures it with his tongue, lightly sucking on the bundle. It’s not the most friction he’s ever given you, but it’s consistent. He builds you up on his tongue, slowly, so slowly. 

And when your thighs close around his head, he stops. You’re aching for a release, tears building along your waterline. Your refractory period is shrinking with each near-orgasm, your babbles begging for Trevor to do something.

“I need it,” you beg, but the words feel more like a scream with how heavy they sit on your chest. 

“Oh, I know you need it,” Trevor replies, tone mocking. “You need it so bad, you’re acting up. Talking back, not using my name, not answering my questions, trying to trick me so that you can get an orgasm. I ought to leave you like this, really show you what it’s like to be left frustrated after a disappointing performance.”

“No,” you whimper. “No, Trevor, that’s too much.”

It’s not your word, it’s not a cry of pain, but it still gives Trevor pause. 

“Need me to be sweet to you?” Trevor asks, his eyes genuine and his hair wild from your wandering grasp.

You whine, arching your back. Trevor smiles fondly, but bats you away. When your back makes contact with the mattress again, Trevor’s deft fingers pinch your nipple and cause you to arch up a second time. He pushes you back down.

“Slut,” Trevor chastises. “Think you can distract me with your tits? This isn’t amateur hour, baby. I’ve still got to steal one orgasm from you.”

You blanch at that, your eyes wide. You take in every detail of his face, panting. There isn’t anything you could say that could stop him, except your word, but you’d rather curl into a ball and die than stop this right now. The words don’t come to you to tell him to continue, though.

“I’m going to get you so close,” Trevor whispers, his face close to yours. He leans down and kisses your neck. You arch into him, your once-useless hands finding his sides. You feel over the muscle there, his lean waist and strong chest. “You’re going to be right there, baby, and then I’m going to take it all away.”

“Please,” you repeat, but it’s indecipherable whether you’re begging Trevor to let you come or begging Trevor to leave you wanting more.

“Yeah,” Trevor agrees, sliding his three fingers back into your wet cunt. 

You moan sharply at the intrusion, pumping deep into you this time and dragging along your walls in a torturous way. It feels so good, it has you seeing white specks when you manage to open your eyes and look at Trevor. His eyes are trained on your cunt, watching your wetness seep all over his fingers. When you push his hair out of his face, his eyes lift to meet yours. 

His pupils are blown wide with lust and he’s got a snarl rumbling from deep in his chest. It is primal, you realize, the way he’s bullying his fingers into your cunt without a thought about what you can or can’t handle. He’s taking you, the way that you’ll only ever allow him to do.

“Gonna come?” Trevor asks, the evil smirk overtaking his face again.

“Please,” you beg again.

“‘Please,’” Trevor mocks. “Is that the only word you know?”

He pulses his hand, his fingers bouncing off your walls and causing you to jolt and scramble to find something to hold onto. That something ends up being Trevor’s hair and the pillow to your side. Your chest is heaving again, your nipples taut and pointed and begging to be touched. 

As Trevor’s eyes trail down your body at a snail’s pace, you can feel your orgasm approaching. You yank his hair and he winces, bringing his hand to your neck and squeezing in retaliation.

“Daddy,” you wheeze, the edge of your vision growing fuzzy and dark. It’s the only warning you can give Trevor as the cliff starts to crumble below you, as you start to fall away into the orgasm that was denied from you for so long.

And when Trevor pulls his fingers out of you, he yanks you back onto solid ground.

And, unsurprisingly, you start to cry.

It’s not pretty, either. It’s not a tear here and there when you’re deepthroating your boyfriend, or the beautiful running of mascara as he fucks your face at some hockey event. No, this is full-on sobbing, gut-wrenching cries that have Trevor taking inventory of all the things he did to you, wondering if he pushed you too far. He rubs your thighs with both of his hands in a soothing motion, ignoring the glistening precum that he’s inadvertently rubbing into your skin. 

“Baby,” Trevor murmurs. 

You sob and raise your arms, needing him to hold you. Trevor’s face softens immediately and he pulls you into his chest, turning so he’s sitting with his back against the headboard and you’re awkwardly dangling half on his lap, half off. You keen into his neck, burying your face in his soft, tan skin.

“My girl,” Trevor whispers, rubbing your arms now and pulling you closer to him, comforting you with his warmth. “You’re perfect.”

“Daddy,” you whisper into his neck. “Please.”

Trevor tilts your head back and looks into your eyes. His gaze looks sad, meeting your own, red and puffy. “Please what, baby?”

“I need your cock,” You plead, petting over his stomach with a hand that feels like its made of static. “I need you to make me come, Daddy.”

Trevor groans, sounding pained. He twitches beneath you. “Like this?” He asks.

You nod, losing your words again. It’s a timid but vehement nod, needing Trevor to press inside you more than anything, but not knowing if you could handle another ruined orgasm.

“Please, let me come this time,” you say, trying to look as pathetic and needy as you can. With big doe eyes like this, Trevor has always been bad at denying you the things you want. 

“Yeah, I think I’ve tortured you enough,” Trevor agrees, reaching under you and pressing his cockhead against your entrance. “Give me a bounce, baby. Wanna see your tits jump in front of my face, yeah?”

Trevor snakes his hands around to grab your bottom, his fingers tight against the skin. He uses his leverage to bounce you for him, knowing that you don’t have control over your movements as fucked out as you are, and he’d hate to see you cry more because you’re mad at yourself for not moving the way he wanted you to.

He lifts you up and down, snapping his hips up to meet yours when they fall. His eyes flicker between your boobs and your face, the teartracks drying over your cheeks as you allow yourself to be consumed by ecstasy. One of Trevor’s hands flies upward, tracing over your skin until he threads it between the strands of your hair. Once his whole hand is enveloped in your roots, he tugs and your mouth falls open.

Trevor leans forward and directs a glob of spit down your throat, his forceful hawk causing his spit to find the back of your throat. 

You convulse on top of him, trembling under his watchful gaze and his warm cock. “Daddy,” you pant, feeling like you’re burning and drowning in your desire for him. Trevor slips his thumb into your mouth as you come and you suck on it like a child, grinding against him through your aftershocks.

You’re floating on air by the time your aftershocks cease and Trevor pulls out of you gently, grasping his cock in his fist. He’s watching you and you’re watching him. Never breaking eye contact, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out.

Trevor presses his tip to your tongue and strokes his cock, squeezing on the downstroke and groaning curses with each turn of his hand. He comes just seconds later, his white ropes of come gracing your tastebuds. He pulls away after only a few drops intersect with your tongue, continuing to come in spurts over your cheeks, lips, and nose. A bit of come drips down the tip of your nose and you poke your tongue out again to try and catch it, which makes Trevor laugh.

Still lost in your post-orgasm haze, you barely notice when Trevor leaves the bed and comes back with a moist towel. He wipes your face, then your thighs and pussy, dropping a kiss on your lower belly after he’s finished. You let out a breath at that, not knowing that you were holding it, astounded by the fragility and intimacy of the moment.

“Daddy,” you say out loud, mostly just to yourself. Mostly just to feel the word on your tongue, feel it take its shape in your mouth. It sounds like awe.

Trevor deposits the towel in the hamper across the room with a toss, proving yet again that his precision and accuracy are off the charts most of the time. He crowds your space, tracing your features with his delicate pinky. “Did Daddy make you feel good, baby?” Trevor asks. “You made Daddy feel good.”

You whine at that and almost want to cry again at the praise. All the time you spent wondering if you were good enough, if you’d ever get a boyfriend who loved you and stayed with you was worth it when you found Trevor. He always said the right things, made you feel things you’d never felt before. 

“I love you,” you say.

Trevor slips his thumb into your mouth, watching your eyes close in bliss as he presses it against your tongue. You can still taste where he was rubbing your pussy with this digit.

“I love you,” he replies, voice soft. His voice sounds like awe, too.

note: small town girl chapter 1 next! (hopefully)

[hopelesslyhopeful11]

The Future Betrayer of ACOTAR

*I already know this is going to definitely make people mad, but be kind y’all, this character isn’t you and has no reflection on who you are as a person*

The Hint of a Future Betrayal:

In ACOSF, we get this quote from Briallyn (who was working very closely with Koschei) that they are aware that there are members in the night court that can be persuaded to help them with the right motivation.

The Right Incentive and Motive

Like any crime and suspects, we must look at who has motive and who is desperate enough to commit said crime. That being said: who has been hinted since ACOWAR to want something very desperately to the point of delusion? I favor Elain and here is why I think so:

Here are three separate occasions across two books that we have Elains storyline heavily showing her desires and wishes to be human. To the point where she followed something into enemy camp away from her loved ones because she was that desperate to be human again. That is definitely foreshadowing especially when we see it across two books and with what we learn in ACOSF in regard to Elain.

The Evidence in Elain’s Storyline in ACOSF

The next part of placing a suspect is gathering the evidence to suggest your suspect is guilty and ACOSF has pretty good evidence.

Above is only one instance (had to cut out the others bc tumblr does like more than 10 photos per post), but there are multiple instances showing that Elain and Elains storyline is suspect. Like Elain is noticeably absent from the pages in ACOSF which was shocking in and of itself, but what’s even more shocking is that the scenes we do get show us she is sneaking around/lying/and not acting as she normally does (and p.s. we know Azriel isn’t the one teaching her to be sneaky since from his own thoughts we know he hadn’t been alone with her since ACOFAS). This all is just very suspicious.

So who is she working for/sneaking around to?

We get this from ACOSF that Koschei is doing anything he can to free himself and even further drives the point that Koschei knows he can manipulate someone in the IC. So it is reasonable to theorize given everything we know from above that Elain may be influenced to help Koschei under the delusion that he can help her be human again.

To Conclude,

Maybe all of this is just a coincidence. Maybe it is nothing at all. Or maybe it’s everything. I’ll leave you with two last photos that further drive the connection between Elain and Koschei with this line in ACOWAR of Elains mind and this picture saved from SJMs deleted pinterest.

Surely looks to me like SJM was trying to paint a picture of who’s entangled with Elains story and specifically her mind and with all we know from ACOSF, it’s not hard to believe that Elain is going to have a part in freeing koschei with the promise of being human again.

I am once again rewriting to implore you to remember that this is just a theory that I believe is very sound based on everything I posted above with textual evidence and SJMs pinterest. It does not mean I think Elain or people who relate to Elain are evil and underserving of good things. If you cannot debate like you are a human capable of empathy, please see yourself away from my page.

~~Live, laugh, SJM~~

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

what do you think sirius’s relationship with his father was like

(i wrote a whole fucking biography, but there's a tldr at the bottom w some notes! also. i am so sorry. this ended up being orion's relationship with his eldest son instead. its pov orion forgive me please.)

sirius and orion ..... there's not much in canon about them, i think, right? he mentions him a whopping one time, when he said his father was the one who made Number Twelve unplottable and that's it, so i think orion was just. so very absent. and neglectful. especially considering how much walburga is mentioned and how big of a part she played in sirius' life.

that's all for canon, i think. now for the fun hc time !!

i imagine orion to be fairly quiet, more like regulus. i imagine he dealt with walburga's anger and mood swings (i hc her (and sirius) with bipolar ii disorder which was obv untreated her whole life bc a) fifties b) ew muggles im perfectly fine) ever since they met (with orion being younger and more complacent, too) so it wasn't a marriage where they were both equals, and orion resented walburga for it.

enter sirius black.

when sirius was born, walburga was completely focused on him. she had her son, her everything, her precious little child and orion was free. i think he loved sirius for it - for how walburga didn't notice when orion left the room or entered it, for how much walburga loved her son.

the first few years was good, sirius was charming, regulus was obedient, walburga was happy and orion was distant from the woman who'd ruined his life. plus, he liked his kids!

sure, sirius was too headstrong and aggressive and had mood swings and sure that reminded him a little bit of walburga and so he usually treasured his precious regulus, and yeah, sirius had cried more than once that dad doesnt love me! but it was all just fine, because he loved his son! he did, really! at least one of them, anyway.

by the time sirius was ten, orion was hoping his hogwarts letter would come early.

it was sirius' first big rebellion, and walburga had (after punishing sirius as she saw fit - orion didn't bother asking, the boy was more comfortable with his mother anyway) locked herself in her room for more than a week, but that was fine, he was used to it. no, the problem was that sirius also stayed in his room for a week, and orion was connecting dots.

from then to dropping sirius off at the train, orion withdrew himself. he noticed. he observed. he busied himself. sirius talked to him, and he didn't ignore him completely, he was still a good father (right?) so he played chess and taught potions and told him who to and not to talk to like he was supposed to.

(he hated the noise the mother and son caused. he hated them, too.)

he pretended to sympathize when walburga said she missed him already when they saw the bus go off.

when sirius came back for christmas, he steered clear for the first two days. walburga handled the punishments: sorting, his friendships, his misdemeanors. orion nodded along.

i am a good father. it's his fault for not being a good son.

regulus was so good, and for all the time the boys spent together, regulus never rubbed off on him.

oh god. what if sirius infects him, too? the only normal one there - what if sirius takes regulus in his madness?

so he separates regulus, too.

by then, he doesn't know what's going on with sirius. regulus told him, time to time, but orion's dislike of his son was becoming clear, so regulus steered clear of the sirius' name. sirius learnt to be away from his father's study. walburga yelled at him more for his negligence but he took it and continued his one sided resentment to his son. (was it one sided anymore? orion didn't know.)

summer vacation is spent in his study and in his bedroom. the two places sirius never was. he didn't know where sirius was, but he heard the occasional screaming and then he had the pleasure of not seeing sirius for a few days.

when, the next year, regulus has to go with sirius, he resents walburga for not saying she missed him already. but she had missed sirius. cursed mother, cursed child.

in third year, walburga signs sirius' hogsmeade permission slip. whatever. he didn't even know it had been signed till the following year, when regulus came to him and they had a few moments of small talk.

regulus mentioned sirius idolized andromeda. he couldn't imagine why, and he couldn't imagine why regulus told him.

by the summer before fourth year, sirius and orion didn't talk. orion scolded him for one thing or another ('posture!' , 'you're late' , 'you're friends with a pettrigrew?' , 'your hair is unkept'), he gave scoffed when sirius made a pronunciation error with his words (regulus wouldn't've. stupid boy, sirius didn't deserve the title of heir.), he punished sirius and then he went back to his study (*sanctuary).

walburga tells him sirius has been sneaking out to muggle london, he has indecent pictures spelled to his walls, he's changed, orion, he's different now. orion doesn't tell her that sirius had always been different, and never in a good way. (he doesn't tell her that she is the same.)

sirius didn't come back for christmas that year. he doesn't notice till walburga screamed at him. he was more focused on how walburga clung to his regulus closer that year.

by the summer before sirius' fifth year, sirius' fights were no longer contained for his mother. he yelled at anyone who would give him time of day.

bellatrix, portraits, kreacher, walurga of course, regulus even.

not his father.

if he saw his father, he would simply walk away.

sirius never walked away from anyone, but orion was grateful nonetheless. he'd hexed sirius a few times, naturally, but he didn't want it to become something regular.

(he was grateful for the days sirius spent holed up into his room.)

by the end of summer, sirius and him had barely exchanged a word that wasn't orion chastising him and sirius replying with a curt yes father.

(it felt like an insult. father. no, orion wasn't a father to that vile thing. sirius was his mother's son. orion had nothing to do with him. and he knew sirius didn't feel differently - he heard sirius refer to him by name when he conversed with regulus.)

when that year ended, and summer began, sirius didn't grant his father the gift of silence. he yelled at him too. every word orion spoke, sirius gave three in return, every hex orion performed sirius laughed at ('is that it? i've been done worse by kids my year.'). he hates him, now. he doesn't hate walburga as much, walburga stayed in her room more, she came out to scream for a few hours and went back.

he blocks that whole summer out. he hates yelling. he hates being yelled at. sirius was walburga, but worse. infinitely worse. he's so relieved when he wakes up to find sirius gone that he can barely hear walburga's shrieks, or bother trying to undo the careful expression regulus wears.

sirius visits him through walburga regardless. (how funny, at first it had been the other way around). sirius had never been one for letting go of things. he haunts orion's dreams and when he hears certain phrases he thinks of his fallen star.

tldr : orion is reminded of walburga (abuser?) when he looks at sirius and distances himself till he finds himself no longer seeing himself as a father for sirius

stuff i didn't mention : walburga uses regulus as sirius' replacement when he runs away and orion hates her for it even though he does the same , he does 100% despise sirius' muggle/gryfindor/blood traitors esque etc stand points, i just feel like that's a given though soo i didnt include it (sorry!!). he just lets walburga handle it, for the most part.

tysm for the ask @albi-bumblebee <3

[oddvanilla]

Help me I'm in school rn waiting for my dad to pick me up..today was fun I guess it's just that my wife is ABSENT bc she forgot to sign up..and my other bsf is on her period so I can't act goofy because everytime I use my rizz she's like "get away from me" and I'm not pissed off but I miss my WIFE☹️☹️ like I want my kisses and hugs and the other mf is acting like she's allergic to me 😞😞also my English teacher is so corny. Like girl bye. Bro she made us do a public speaking activity where you just talk about urself ig and I love public speaking and crap but I just want my friends to look at meee like I NEED attention or I'll collapse. plus lots of my actual friends that I hang out with in lunch are younger than me cause I'm scared of the older kids and seniors but like. Everyone is absent. I had to sit with the new kids and get familiar with the faces and all because if I want to be student council president like last year I need to try at least 🙏 this new girl named ASIA that me and my bsf can't shut up about because we're like "AWH was Europe and Africa taken??" Like HELP why. But in my defense she kept saying my name wrong like she insisted that Reine was pronounced "rain-eee" WHAT?? Im still saving the seat for my bbg tho I miss her SM she was just at my house like 2 days ago but like. I miss physical touch so bad. Plus I know my other bsf is chill but the entire time she's like suffering,, the last thing she would want is a hug from me... which I understand but STILL. PLS get me out of here I want my friends and my wife and a non corny English teacher omfg I hate her SM already how will I survive the year with her. Also some dude randomly paid me to ask the English teacher if she's pregnant. Ma'am every English teacher ever is pregnant like wtf are y'alls husbands doing 🤦‍♀️ turns out she IS and also like 2 months in... Anyways uhm rant post yeah I swear I'm not mad I just feel tired and need a hug and probably a kiss on the cheek thank u

[l0viez]

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. Genshin Impact Characters as Younger Sibilings!

Ft ; Klee, Diona, Sayu, Chongyun, Thoma, Dori ! ♡

* Im sorry in advance for making this long:')!

💥Klee ! ;

Being klee's older sibling,,, Is quite a adventure!

Whenever Albedo or Alice or maybe both leave you to babysit klee

You would have a "who wants to be a billioner" mindset

"(N/N)! Let's go fish blasting there's plently of fishes out right now!!"

Bascally inside your mind :

A.) Go and agree with Klee

B.) Say No and tell her to do it another time

C.) Play dead

D.) Tell her to play something else that doesn't include any.. bombs!

It depends on your mood tho tbh

like if your mad or upset at something you would accept klee's fish blasting idea no hestation

then jean founds out and you both gets in the confinement room

Whenever klee finds you crying or upset about something she would offer dodoco to you !

you can have dodoco until you feel better , her words not mine

sometimes whenever you both go on a adventure and she gets too tired

you would piggyback carry her back to your house<3!

Tbh you and klee's sibiling relationship is mostly a partner in crime

Whenever klee bombs something you would take the blame for it so she wont get in trouble

and if you "accidently" did something bad for example uhm slap someone (LMAO)

Klee would take the blame for it instead

Jean would be so tired bc of you both /jk

Imagine this ; You protected klee because of a suprise attack from a abyss mage and klee panicked and threw one of her bombs and it hitted you

which leads you both to this situation ;

Barbara giggling because of your antics while patching you up and Jean scholding you both, Klee explaining her best what happened with crocodile tears while hugging you from the side and you just sitting there sweatdropping also trying to explain what happened

" (Y/N) is the very very very very very very very best bro/sissy klee could ever ask for !! they would always always try to keep klee out of trouble and would even talk their way to let us go fish blasting !! Who wouldn't have a sibiling like her!! they would even give me homemade cookies whenever klee behaved well!! Don't worry traveller once we meet again klee will make sure to ask (Y/n) to give me extra cookies for you to try!:DD"

🍧Diona ! ;

Your either diona's favorite person or diona's least favorite person/hj

theres no in between

(She also gives me overprotected little sister vibes but she pretends shes not overprotected and worried about you 24/7)

If you spend more time with her than your drunked "father" (draff) then your her favorite

but if you spend more time with your "father" (draff) trying to help him as much as possible then your... still her favorite but like she would have mixed feelings

because like what if you also become a addict to alcohols?? What if you turn out like draff?? What if you give her some poor excuses as well like draff on why your away?? (thats only if you spend more time with draff)

You and diona favorite thing to do together is collect ingredients and to mess around with them ! (and possibly make the most deadliest drink , but yk it would fail because of diona's special talent )

Diona would most likey to rant or vent out some stuff to you than you do

When you visit the Cat Tail Tavern you get a special discount

the "sibling discount"

I feel like some drunk people would ask diona to help them date you

and diona would look at them like she wants to choke them out

You WOULD and WILL spoil with planotic love and affection because draff failed to do so

You would hug her randomly and she would act like she dont want it

but she secretly likes it bc she never got 100% planotic love from her father so you giving her what she needed the most is very relaxing to know she still have you even if draff is absent most of the time<3

Shes very lucky to have you

but she'd rather have a handshake with diluc than even tell you that

[ a more funny idea too if you and diluc are secretly dating and she found out like she would glare at diluc for even trying to steal you away from her >:((( ]

" Huh whats that? Your asking me about my sibling? What are you trying to collect information me to date them as well!?Tsk.. I'll have you know im not afraid to scratch you! You may be the traveller who so happens to save our nation but I'll be damned if you even try to flirt with her! H-huh? Me ? Overprotecting ?! Ah. Ha! Don't even try to fill your mind with nonsense that is clearly not true!.."

🍃Sayu! ;

Now being sayu's older sibling get ready to sleep 24/7

because whenever you two go out and she falls asleep YOU yes YOU will BECOME her personal pillow and theres no way out

Even if your not like her , not quick to sleep or like her , quick to sleep.

Your still going to be forced to sleep or get tired whenever shes around lmao

You would be at work and before you know it

Yae would be asking for your presence at the shrine

At first that you got called you were worried for sayu because like??? Who wouldnt

then once you got there...

Yae gave you a "important task"

To get your sister while she is SLEEPING

you had the most dumbfounded face cause like ?? why me ??

either way you still went out to find your sister !

When you found her either at the Chinju Forest or somewhere in ritou or Inazuma City hiding from someone or just sleeping

Once you found her you already found her asleep

Well,, that was easy

now you had to decided whether to turn her in to yae or any shrine maiden or carry her to your house so she can peacefully sleep without a problem and just tell the shrine maidens & Yae that you couldnt find her

but the problem is you know how intimidating yae could be if she knows you just kept sayu at your house just for her to sleep

she would probably electrocute you in a bad way☠️..

Now mostly since sayu is asleep you would carry her from left to right just so she can peacefully sleep

for her birthday you always buy her the most SOFTEST, FLUFFIEST, SILKYIEST , COMFYIEST pillow ever

Unlike diona's one with the giving affection and etc, you give sayu items she might need and wants instead‼️ but ofc you still give u siblingly affections from time to time!

you and diona mostly see eachother because you had to do your work to provide money for both of you and to give her gifts

and since because sayu is mostly busy at the shrine as well😭...

But if you have any free time or its your day off at your work and so is sayu

sayu would make to sure to get enough sleep and to stay up so you guys can hangout more without her sleeping again

but ofc that doesnt work well, abit of walks there and abit of goofing around she would start to feel sleepy again

once she tells you that shes feeling tired you will immediately go to the place to view the prettiest sunsets while she lays on your lap!<3

"hmm, I thought you told me you won't fall asleep this time ?"

"*yawns* look you wouldn't get it (n/n)... Im a growing girl after all and.. i still have to grow tall,, taller than yo-zzz"

like whenever you jokingly ask her on why shes always sleepy she would always replies to you that shes a growing girl and still has to grow tall and even fall asleep mid sentence 😭

"They always teases me about my height when their height isn't even that high! (n/n) always gives me the most comfortable pillows... i might as well have the full inazuma collection pillow because of her *yawn* speaking of pillows.. I feel abit sleepy .. If (y/n) ever asks where I am can you tell her I'll be at ritou? but of course don't tell the shrine maidens.."

❄️Chongyun! ;

Are you really siblings with Chongyun

or are you Xingqiu's sibling instead??☠️/hj

You and Xingqiu would always prank chongyun when you both get the chance or when you three are together

As much as you love love your sibling, you also love to annoy him as much as possible or prank him

But ofc you also know your limits whenever to stop or not!

You and hu tao would be secretly best friends

Whenever you and chongyun go home

he would rant out about hu tao's doings whenever he gets too annoyed at her and you would just silently listen

there was that one time where you and xingqiu's harmless prank turned into a non so harmless

You wanted to prank chongyun by putting a candy that looks like pepper

You were going to be in charge of making the soup and xingqiu is incharge with the fake pepper

Xingqiu putted the fake pepper near the counter so he would know where it was easily

and xiangling who happens to just come back after a little ingredients shopping accidently putted the REAL peppers near it

and when xingqiu went to grab the "fake pepper" he grabed the real one and putted it to the soup you were about to serve chongyun

and well,,, lets just say it didn't end well.. like at all☠️

Chongyun has higher trust issues with you both ever since that day..

You are like chongyun's extra ice pops storage holder LMAO like if chongyun runs out of ice pops you would always have extra

You, Shenhe, & Chongyun would train abit every weekends

Sometimes you would just be the one serving the foods for both of them once theyre done just to avoid training😭LMAO

Chongyun loves you dearly but like.. Calm down with the pranks

He has mixed feelings about you bc of it

If he gets prank by you two , before going to sleep he would be looking up at the ceiling all tucked in and be wondering

whos the bad influencer between you both??

but jokes aside chongyun would drop any jobs or works he has if you ever call him even if its not urgent he would be there:) ( and so would you )

He will also be there for you if you ever have any stressful day like he will ask you if you want to go around liyue to take your mind off things!

Even though sometimes your pranks sets his mind filled with bombs that are about to explode because of it

He will always accept you as the older sibling<3

"(Y/n) is my older sibling , even though she's quite the opposite of me.. her determination and bravery are more skilled and polished than mine. She's one of my top 5 idols to be when I grow up. But then (Y/n)'s like .. the other twin of Xingqiu at this point.. Don't get me wrong It's not that Im saying I dont want them as my sibling! Its just that whenever those two are around eachother there's always a prank that will be set, even if it's not me getting pranked someone else will be. They might as well rename the "Victims of Xingqiu" to "Victims of Xingqiu and (Y/n)" at this point..

🧹Thoma! ;

Okay this one is abit of a strech

While his at Inazuma

your at Mondstadt

We all know the story of why he's at inazuma

and if you dont here ; (googled;))

"He originally went to Inazuma to bring his father Dandelion Wine, but after falling overboard, he ended up in Inazuma with no connections and Mora. Despite the dangers he faced at the time, Thoma was able to make the most of his situation and eventually obtained the Kamisato Clan's trust."

During that time where he told you that he will be the wine to your guys father and that he will contact you once he gets there

you insisted that you will do it instead because your the older sibling

but then you both had a small fight on why and whos going😭

He won.. suprisingly because you have a job at the wine industry and because you had more responsibilities at Mondstadt

leaving you with no choice but to agree

you did pack him some food and some spare mora you had on you if he wanted to buy something incase

After like a few day you were getting worried over your little bro

some days you would feel so guilty on letting him go alone and not coming with him

the more days he couldnt contact you the more anxious you got that it even messed up your work a couple of times

"Y/n. you're adding the wrong ingredients.."

"Huh? Oh sorry diluc.. My bad I'll do better next time Im really sorry"

like you almost crash into a wall.. wait no remove the almost YOU DID.

You Crashed into a wall because of WORRY for thoma.☠️

more days and more days past you had enough and even plan to go to inazuma yourself

but then you found out that inazuma is a closed nation and litterally even if you begged the people with cruises or ships to get you there they would refuse

abit more days of waiting and you finally manage to get a letter from thoma! You were so relieved and happy like you cried tears of joy knowing his still alright!

You immediately wrote him a letter back and asking him how he was and how he was doing and more questions

Sometimes he would even send you some inazuma items and you would send him some Mondstadt items! Whether it be clothes, figurines, foods, ingredients you can only find at Mondstadt or Inazuma<3

You both would send letter everyday and some would get delayed due to works or the delievery man/hj

once the inazuma problems got solved you quickly went to inazuma to visit you lil bro isnt that sweet

once you got there, the first thing you did was ask people if they ever know anyone named "thoma" and ofc someone lead you to thoma

Once you saw thoma with 2 other light blue haired people

you didnt even think you quickly went out and hug him

Thoma was like so shock with that suprise pikachu face when he saw you he was wondering who you were then he realized that it was you! His older sibling

hes the type of man who would probalby sob of happiness silently bc of a very long reunion

the blue haired people was wondering who you were and thoma introduced you who you were to them and etc!

Ayato even gave thoma a 1 week vacation so you two would hangout because he would also feel how both siblings who clearly misses eachother for like forever would feel

You and thoma would goof around while he tours you around inazuma

you meet plently of his friends and his pet friends as well!<3

thoma treated you to eat some meal with him in a fancy ass resuturant

when someone tried flirting with you, thoma was already there behind you glaring abit and ready to make that person back away from you

thoma just wants to make your stay at inazuma the most comfortable as it can!

😭Imagine seeing itto though while you both were examing the onikabuto or like thoma is explaining its kind to you and you both just see a big ass hand grab it

"Yo!! Thoma bro!! I see you have someone new with you! Whos that huh?? Your new friend?! Oh oh your sibling perhaps?? Oh wait! Is this a kidnapper?! Thoma bro just tell me if theyre keeping you hostage the one and only numero itto will help you my dude!"

you and thoma would just nervously try to leave the area...

but thoma being a gentlemen he is still answered ittos "questions"

Itto calls you (y/n) homie now. theres option you can say "no please" to this man.

Thoma just had that "i'm sorry." face and pitying you while itto introduce his legendary self to you and even offered for you to join his squad😭

Once you had to return to Mondstadt you gave thoma a special gift so he would remeber of you and you both had your last hug before you depart

the kamisato siblings also came along to say their goodbyes and his other friends and.. as well as the itto gang😭

You both promised to keep sending letters to eachother though so its ight:)!

Once you got to mondstadt you already gotten a letter from thoma if you gotten home safetly

Its really nice to have someone worrying about you huh<3.

"Oh! wait sorry sorry , i didnt mean it as a offensive way I just got suprised that you know (y/n) *chuckles*, why you may ask? well theyre always at work or at their home writing me letters sometimes when i forget to send back the mails would be bombarded with their letters for me haha.. I didn't think you would be friends with them,! don't take it the wrong way it's nice that my sibling is finally opening up because before they would always tell me that "our survival is more better than having friends". — Hey, Traveller can you me a favour? If you ever go back to Mondstadt again can you tell her to not over work their self and to watch over them , because apprently the letters i wrote them don't seem to work.. *sigh*"

He's just worried about you too much as you are worried about him!<3.

💷Dori! ;

You two are knowned as the mora hoggers/jk

you both like to scam people,, but ofc your more experienced

it runs in the family afterall💵💵💵💵💸💸

while dori sells the like rare items and like expensive ones

you sell the mysterious and shady ones

whenever you both get like a "vacation" or a break from all that scamming people

selling items i mean***

your favourite activity with dori is scamming people/jk

(also it be cute if like her glasses came from you<3 like you used to wore it when you were young but then you gave it to her because it dont fit you anymore)

dori would act so independent but be dependent whenever shes with you🙏😭

dori is the type of sibling who would say i love you too sis/bro or i miss you without hestitation like she will be confident on saying it<3!

you both have rare matching accessories:)

dori's favorite activity or hangout activity with you is finding artifacts out in the wild and make a competition out of it

You both would have a secret hideout and count your moras you gotten and whoever has the largest sum of mora wins!

and whoever loses has to pay 1M mora to the winner,,😭

dori has that very layback younger sister vibes , yeah shes abit mischievous at most times but she only learned it from you🙄

Dori would sometimes steal some shady items from you for her to sell whenever your not watching

and your stealing hers too😀"eye for a eye"

your sibling relationship with her is just honestly,, calming to say the least like not much problems and etc

but if any buyers get aggresive and tries to argue or attack dori you would quickly make a fake act and scream

after all violence is not the answer

and yeah that buyer had to go to jail for a few days and have to pay you both 900k mora inorder to shorten their stay at prison😄!!

I feel like you both have a secret mansion that only you two would enter, ONLY YOU TWO.

Dori likes to hold your hand whenever shes feeling unsure of her actions or if shes in deep thought

whenever noone is really buying any of ur guys items you both would play like board games that is supposed to be your items to sell

like imagine this ;

Mostly everyone is going back to their houses because the sun is going down and you and dori are waiting for a Vip customer to arrive

and you both got bored and decided to play around with the vip customer requested item

and the vip customer just sees you both like playing catch with their requested item while his holding his mora LMAO

that vip customer has higher trust issues now thank you both of you

"They really really like getting some of my items and would put it at their side and say it's their item Im suppose to sell to annoy me off whenever there's no customers around *sighs* ! but sometimes though they would give me unique artifacts as a "sorry" when i get too upset at it,, but hey atleast im getting artifacts to sell! (n/n) is that type of sibling who would try and test your patience for their entertainment! And tha— huh??? I act like them sometimes??? Well duh we're siblings of course! heh I wouldn't learn how to sca- I mean sell stuff ! Do I dislike them? Oh archons never! Hey I may look like I dont have the type to love my siblings 100% but I can say "I love you" and "I missed you" no problem to them! How did they teached me how to sell artifacts and how to gain customers? well.. that's a secret now! Your asking too much questions If you want to know more you should pay me about.. 200k mora! heh."

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 ep3 delirious ramblings in honor of eps 4 and 5 coming soon!!

you already KNOW wtf goin on !!!

-the red flag fleet pig tails absolutely slay every single time

-Zheng Yi Sao putting her arm out to shield Olu from the dying guy that just got stabbed has me feeling some typa way (falling in love with her)

-stede just pushing his little bar and charcuterie cart around im obsessed

-Zheng Yi Sao's customer service voice when she says "Hi! I'm Zheng Yi Sao, you're...John?" like she's cold-calling someone is absolutely top tier, I would give her all my money if she were calling to scam me

-"champers?" stede you absolute doofus i love him far too much

-Zheng Yi Sao being all coy with her "ohh...forget it...;)" stop!!!!! im already in love with you please stop this madness!!!!!! i can't take much more of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OLU'S OFFENDED FACE WHEN STEDE JUST PLOPS THE TOWELS DOWN ON ZHENG YI SAO'S DESK LMAO

-okay. we have to talk about stede hearing "the revenge" and his mind going completely blank aside from the one thought of "Ed" replaying over and over and over again to the point that all sense of self-preservation flies completely out the window (as he flies over the side of the ship) because the ONLY thing that matters to him in that moment is seeing Ed again. i can only imagine the looming sense of doom he must've felt as he realized Ed was noticeably absent from the rest of the crew when he found them, and then the cagey way they all spoke about where Ed went. i wonder if seeing Ed's body lying on that table gave him any sense of relief in the way that getting confirmation of something you'd feared was coming finally arrives

-also!!! let's talk about what must have started running through Olu's mind when he realized it was their ship!! did he immediately think of Jim? was he worried about them? did he assume they would've escaped blackbeard's clutches by now and gone on to bigger and better things?

-"she's returned to us...mostly" i wonder how sad buttons must have felt seeing the revenge in such a dire state :((

-"maybe she's gone through that triangle thing by bermuda" wee john my beloved

-I TOLD Y'ALL WHEN THAT MF GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 HITS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT VERY NEARLY WAS BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-oh holy fuck the way the look of excitement on stede's face morphs into a look of horror as he takes in just how wrecked the revenge got in the storm is extremely upsetting

-someone smarter than me needs to do a deeper analysis on the use of gnossienne no.5 as stede is climbing the ladder of the revenge, no doubt with thoughts of a beautiful and loving reunion with ed because surely he'll be there waiting for him, just as overjoyed to see stede as stede is to see him, only for the song and that fantasy to abruptly get cut off once stede realizes how dire the situation on the revenge has gotten

-hey fam do we think there's any significance of the crew being found desecrating that seagull in the captain's quarters or was that just a plot convenience thing bc obviously stede would check the captain's cabin for ed first

-"just thought you'd be taller...mu-muscly, you know...charismatic" bruh ain't NO way Certain People had been either 1) talking about stede in such a high regard it put him up on a massive pedestal or 2) ahem....sobbing so loudly the entire god damn ship can hear it every single night for literal months...that archie fully thought stede MUST have been basically a god amongst mortals to make ed be so downbad it drove him to violent insanity

-"why can't i get a straight answer from any of you" because they're all gay bitch!!!!! you knew this when you first hired them!!!!!!

-OBSESSED with how Izzy is fully down an entire leg and Stede could NOT give less of a shit about it. Literally telling him "Piss off Izzy, I don't wanna hear from you" as if there isn't the biggest possible elephant on the deck basically screaming to be talked about

-side note: for the love of GOD con o'neill looks so stupidly hot in his reaction shot to stede telling izzy to piss off it's actually gonna give me heart palpitations. this is my formal petition to make con o'neill look permanently just a little bit damp and a little bit sad

-"when you get old, if you don't wanna work anymore you can just give up i guess" frenchie my beloved

-love love love love love the parallels between buttons and auntie being the actual paragon of first mates with almost preternatural senses for mutiny a'brewin or the sea shifting

-hey fam do we think izzy actually stabbed stede's painting or was it really ed and izzy was...sparing stede's feelings???? but why??? is it because he's intimately aware of how it feels to lose ed and even though he hates stede (or used to) he still wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone??

-SORRY I GOTTA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I CALLED IT FROM THE MOMENT THE TEASER DROPPED THAT THE RAG MAN WAS GONNA BE HORNIGOLD'S GHOST MANIFESTING AS THE PARTS OF ED HE HATED THE MOST

>>>it turned out to be all parts of himself which did me quite a big ouchie but im still riding the high of having sussed that out so early on im LITERALLY destined to be a writer on this show. djenks get at me i know ur reading this

-i have absolutely no idea what the pig is supposed to symbolize in ed's fever dream someone who has a functioning brain should figure it out and let me know pls & thx

-don't know if this is significant symbolism or not, but: ed is wearing the cravat, his chains, and the pearl necklace in the storm. he is NOT wearing the cravat or the chains in the fever dream, but he IS still wearing the pearls. the best analysis i can do around that rn is that the cravat symbolizes stede and this journey he's about to go on needs to be about Ed and Ed alone, but also Ed *feeling* and *thinking* he's genuinely alone, which is supported by the conversation he has with hornigold later when he reveals he's worried there's no one waiting for him in the real world. the chains im thinking could symbolize his blackbeard persona in a way - presumably he got the gold chains when plundering and gaining/maintaining his reputation for being ruthless and the chains are a physical reminder of that persona and reputation. in the fever dream, ed is stripped down to his most vulnerable state (which is interesting considering his hair and beard aren't in line with the s1 symbolism of his vulnerability - almost as if his heartbreak over stede has become so all-encompassing he's no longer able to hide it behind a beard or face-shielding long hair) so the chains would disappear just as his blackbeard reputation would disappear in order for him to get to the core of who he really is, which brings us to: the pearl necklace. we could literally talk for hours about the nuances of everything the pearl necklace represents regarding ed's fears, desires, identities, hopes and dreams for the future, childhood trauma, etc. etc. etc. but ultimately it represents the parts of ed he holds the closest to his chest and THAT is why he's still wearing it in the fever dream: because it's a representation of who he truly is, stripped down, at his core. and THAT is the person who needed to go on this journey in order to start to heal, without the influence of anyone or anything else making him feel the need to perform or be anything other than his 100% authentic, vulnerable self.

-the way i reacted to seeing how beautiful ed is as he's waking up in hornigold's hut is undeniable proof that i need to be put down

-"what did you do to me...while i was out...anything weird?" edward teach my beloved of all time. we will not be taking this incredibly funny and perfectly performed line delivery and making it sad by thinking about the implications of what past behaviors ed may have experienced from other shipmates when waking up after a night of blacking out

-sorry but the way ed holds his breath so he doesn't eat the soup is so hilarious and adorable to me

-auntie recounting all the details of the mutiny right down to ed's height and silver hair based off of looking at the deck and licking some gun powder is sooooooo sherlock holmes coded but like. if he fucked y'know?

-also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the little sprinkle of what i believe was maori thrown in between auntie and fang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more of that IMMEDIATELY

-"i'm burnin up here" SICK jobros reference frenchie

-frenchie stopping himself from saying "oh fuck" and instead going with "oh shit tits" i love this man an unhealthy amount

-"it's called you-cal-lip-eh-tusses. you-calamitous." good god i would due for olu in a heartbeat

-okay so. my thoughts on the olu/zheng/jim/archie situation. i never posted this here when the trailer dropped bc i thought i was just going crazy but when i saw the olu/jim shoulder bump i immediately knew it was giving "exes who are still friends and are being supportive of the other person when they admit they've found someone new" vibes. THAT BEING SAID - i can see this whole thing being resolved in 2 ways: either they have jim and olu talk it out and officially decide to split to pursue their respective new flames while remaining best friends/family, or - and this is where i think we all hope this is going - we get a 4-way polycule. im 50/50 on whether the studio would greenlight that given they've already pushed the envelope with having a nonbinary character and basically everyone is gay, but at the same time i would hope the studio would recognize that the show was wildly successful due in large part to those key elements and would be in favor of pushing the envelope even further (in their eyes). i think jim and archie are gonna see zheng being an absolute badass and fall in love with her and zheng is gonna see jim and archie being absolute badasses and fall in love with them while already being in love with olu specifically because he's NOT a badass and olu's gonna admit he's still in love with jim and they're all gonna live happily ever after completely dominating the seas and killing colonizing dipshits :)

-OLU WHIPPING HIS HEAD AROUND TO LOOK BACK AT JIM WHEN THEY TELL HIM THEY SAW ARCHIE'S BOOBS LMAO

-hi it's me again here to say that it is STILL SO EXTREMELY FUCKED UP AND EVIL OF DAVID JENKINS AND CO. TO BE PLAYING GNOSSIENNE NO.5 WHILE STEDE LOOKS DESPONDENTLY AT THE RUINED REMAINS OF HIS CAPTAINS QUARTERS WHERE HE AND ED CONNECTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND FELT LIKE SOMEONE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THEM

-how the fuck did izzy on a crutch and a pegleg sneak up on stede in the captain's quarters lil homie HAS to be sounding like mr. krabs at this point

-"i think the knives really help bring the place together" he literally cannot physically bring himself to not be a bitch around izzy even when he's wallowing in his lost love i am so so so obsessed with him you have no idea

-i know we're all still reeling from the confirmation that stede has ALWAYS known ed - past the rose-colored glasses of falling in love with just the idea of someone - and how his mind works when he asks izzy point blank what they did to ed but. i cannot stop thinking about s1 ed not being able to look stede in the eye as he says "you were always gonna realize what i am" before leaving with calico jack because he was so terrified of the judgement he'd see in stede's eyes. he revealed a less-than-ideal (but comparatively pretty benign) part of himself to the person whose opinion he cares about the most and was too afraid to stick around to see if/when stede would finally reject him for not living up to the standards that ed thinks stede deserves. and yet. we now know with actual proof that stede not only never judged ed for his past and just kinda glossed over any erratic behavior/violent reactions during their time together in favor of keeping an idealized image of ed in his mind, stede understood ed on a deeper level than practically anyone else in the whole world, with the exception of izzy, ever did. stede was so intimately aware of the exact kind of person ed was and what his thoughts and behavioral patterns were that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that there were only two fates for ed if stede didn't reach him in time: he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying.

-feeling BIG emotions over the almost-sigh that stede does when izzy tells him how ed took his leg for merely mentioning stede's name. the way he looks away and swallows down his guilt and grief and shame.

-"you sent him to doggy heaven" ohhhh my god i wanna know if stede was bracing himself for the heartbreak or the relief (or both!!) of hearing izzy say yes. as i mentioned above, stede had to have had a cloud of impending doom looming over him all these months wondering where ed is and worrying if he'll ever find him again, and that cloud must have only gotten infinitely darker when he found the crew on the revenge only to realize that ed wasn't with them. stede isn't stupid, he proved as much when he told izzy he knew ed was going to destroy everything around him or die in the process, and with ed being very noticeably absent it would only make sense for stede to jump to the worst-case-scenario of the crew having to kill ed before he killed all of them. i think he had probably been emotionally preparing himself for that outcome the second he noticed the crew being shifty about ed's whereabouts, so to get confirmation of it would obviously be genuinely heartbreaking but also an end to the sense of doom that had been hanging around him for a while.

-the way stede whips his head around to look at izzy when izzy tells him no, they didn't send ed to doggy heaven is so! heartbreaking! because you can see the instant flame of hope light up his face for a split second before he reads the profound sadness of izzy's expression as he tells stede they deserted him on a beach and left nature to do the rest. interestingly enough, stede doesn't seem at all reassured or renewed in his hope by this, and im wondering if he knows izzy is lying to him at that point to spare his feelings

-"yeah i was there. that cabin boy's name was felix. he was a really nice guy" i love that we're not only getting a crumb of lore about ed's past on hornigold's ship (that isn't frat-bro posturing with calico jack) but that the crumb we do get highlights ed's humanity. not only does he remember the name of a "lowly" cabin boy, but he remembers that the cabin boy was really nice and is angry that he died so senselessly and hornigold doesn't even seem to care

>>>>>hmmmm now im thinking about how hornigold is a representation of the parts of ed that he hates, so is hornigold's story an allegory for how ed hates how he's shut off his emotions/shown little to no remorse for the hurt and suffering he's caused during his breakup era?

-okay there are SO many mentions of soup this season already someone figure out wtf it's supposed to mean

-THE WAY MY FRIENDS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED WHEN ZHENG SAYS "Girl, how are you :(" TO STEDE LIKE THIS SHOW IS 100% CONFIRMED WRITTEN FOR THE GIRLS (gn) AND THE GAYS AND EVERY LINE IS PERFECT

-DAVID JENKINS. WHY. ARE YOU PLAYING. GNOSSIENNE NO.5. WHILE STEDE TELLS ZHENG. ABOUT HOW HE FEELS LIKE HE LET ED DOWN. AND THAT HE'S THE CAUSE OF A LOT OF THIS. AND HOW HE SHOULD'VE JUST TOLD ED HOW HE FEELS. BUT HE WAS SCARED. AND NOW HERE WE ARE. i want you psychologically evaluated because i do believe there is a dark evil inside of you

-PLEASE stede's reaction of basically "ya got me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" to Zheng saying the guys on wanted posters are hot makes my brain fizz

-im not ashamed to say i literally get tears in my eyes from how divine ed looks when he's talking to hornigold about selling handmade shoes like what the fuck did the hair and makeup artists DO to make him even more stunning than before when they had already broken the scale in s1???????????? i feel like i should send them a thank-you care package for the gift they've given us

-"im actually just a very simple man" my sweet precious baby darling eddie boy. you are the most complex character i have ever become obsessed with in my entire life, and i was DEEP in the Castiel trenches at the height of SuperWhoLock tumblr from 2012 - 2014 as an unmedicated teenager still developing her prefrontal cortex.

-"like a jailer, but all the prisoners like you and they can go whenever they want" so what im hearing is ed likes having control over other people but also desperately wants them to like him AND choose to stay with him of their own free will and not because they have to. or it's just a funny simile for an inn like he said :)

-the jeff's inn by the sea roleplay scene makes me so insane i actually can't talk about it rn other than to say it's peak comedy and i want it permanently etched into my brain. also ed's little corsage makes me [feral shrieking]

-GODDD the way this season is so expertly slicing in clips from s1 as a quick flash of an image before coming back to the present is so extremely satisfying and also a direct punch to the solar plexis every time

-"grown man covered in tattoos, eh? with daddy issues?" no comment just screaming

-"we've been living second-to-second for a while now. it's actually kinda nice to have a deadline" this!!! this is what im talking about with the looming sense of impending doom hanging over you for so long that once you get confirmation that it's going to be over soon, even if it's because of a very permanent ending, there's a lot of relief that can be wrapped up in that

-"go on, bonnet. gimme your worst" i feel like i don't have the brain capacity rn to break that interaction down and tease out what izzy would've been expecting stede to do or say and what stede would've been thinking in that moment that was too overwhelming to actually voice but maybe someday i'll get to it

-"okay well i feel like im gonna choose...i feel like im supposed to choose...live" bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo the intentional writing of ed to say "gonna" at first and then switching it to "supposed to" is sooooooooo insane dude holy shit. i need to know what factors caused him to change his wording. what was he going to say he was gonna do. who or what is pressuring him to make him feel like he's supposed to choose to live. are those two choices - what he was gonna do vs. what he feels like he's supposed to do - at war with each other or is the conflict brewing from the different motivations behind wanting to live vs. feeling like you're supposed to live. the writing is just too good

-godddd someone needs to make a post on hornigold telling ed they're in a judgement-free zone which is basically ed reminding himself that his mind is a safe space for his thoughts and how unbelievably sad it is that ed would even need to remind himself of that in the first place. he's so used to scrutiny and judgement (and it's one of his biggest fears when it comes to the people he cares about the most) that he doesn't even think he's free from it in his own head

-im just gonna say it. ed talking about warmth and intercourse and orgasms is foreshadowing

-"i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i'll actually go lie in the middle of the road right now i swear to god

-it's so interesting how ed gets angry that his fear that no one is waiting for him fucks his pros up

-i don't understand how olu didn't immediately clock that zheng was flirting with him when he's in her office like buddy if i see a very beautiful woman with a very sharp sword and she's pointing it in my direction? that's a marriage proposal

-HOKAYYYY FOLKS WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT OUR FIRST TRUE COMPETENT!STEDE SIGHTING IN THIS EP. he not only devises an escape plan ALL BY HIMSELF, he has the knowledge and foresight to . and guess what? IT ACTUALLY. WORKED. in fact, it was a SWEEPING success where he got EVERYONE safely off the red flag ship and onto his own!!!! this wasn't just some raid won with brute force or a fuckery accomplished due to loony tunes rules, this was an honest-to-god escape plan that required learning the shifts of the guards on deck and at the entrance to the brig to ensure those spaces would be as empty as possible, knowledge of the sleepy-time effects of chamomile in concentrated forms, knowledge of the layout of the ship he's been on for, what? a few days? maybe a week?, knowledge of where they store their weapons and then figuring out how to use the crossbow as a zipline AND remembering to have someone cut the line to prevent any red flag crew from boarding the revenge, figuring out how they can use towels to use said zipline, remembering that the revenge no longer has a wheel and utilizing wee john's strength to secure them a new one while disabling the red flag ship thus greatly increasing their chances of a successful escape. i guess now we know what the hell is going on in towels (it's scheming and plotting)

-jim grabbing archie's hand has they leave the brig

-stede's little hand gesture and "sss" noise he makes to communicate to lucius and black pete they're gonna move forward now even though they're all physically so close it literally would've been quieter if he just whispered his directions to them

-the person at the wheel looking longingly up into the sky. how much do we wanna bet she was thinking about zheng

-"just breathe into it black pe-" WHY ARE THEY SHUSHING MY BOY BUTTONS HE'S RIGHT

-"oy, ya cockeyed -" STOP SILENCING HIM

-"aye look at that, see that black pete -" LET HIM SPEAK

-IZZY PUSHING BUTTONS'S HAND DOWN AS HE'S TELLING BLACK PETE TO OBSERVE ARCHIE'S SHOOTING FORM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

-wee john profusely apologizing to the person he knocked unconscious before knocking them unconscious and then again after stealing their wheel. he is so dear to me

-i genuinely love how buttons wastes NO time in assuming his first mate duties again and directing frenchie and roach to start preparing the ship for sailing. it's just a nice reminder that stede chose him as his first mate for a reason beyond his propensity to attract a motley crew of unique characters - buttons is a genuinely highly skilled, highly competent, and extremely dedicated and hard working sea farer. who may or may not actually be a sea witch that has taken on the form of a humble man

-i actually am very charmed by olu still trying to persuade zheng to spare the lives of his friends while they're making out

-ooooohhhhh the fact that olu had to choose between zheng and jim was such a delightful mini conflict to see him go through. i might wind up making a post about his thoughts and motivations in that moment later on because it's so quick but so profound

-okay 1) the raw emotions in zheng's yell when she sees olu escaping on the revenge literally gave me goosebumps. 2) the look of absolute betrayal on her face in that closing shot gave me even MORE goosebumps. 3) ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR SLIGHTLY SUPERNATURAL FIRST MATE Y'ALL THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S UP

-i can't wait to see how this betrayal plays out in terms of the red flag fleet being an enemy to the revenge, even though we know it's temporary since we've seen Zheng Yi Sao and her fleet fighting alongside ed and stede in the s2 trailer and in the promotional materials for upcoming episodes

-UHHHH STEDE'S HEARTBROKEN FACE AS THEY'RE LEAVING HELLO?????????????????????????????????

-izzy trying to genuinely thank stede is so. Character Arc.

-also archie and jim training/fake sword fighting in the background

-"clarity? you've made your choice" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-ed realizing that he really just hates himself is going to be MY villain origin story

-what the HELL was up with hornigold doing that howl. hated that

-"i'm not loveable" "and you're scared to do anything about it" i swan to john im gonna start chewing on the steel cables that hold up suspension bridges you literally cannot do this to me right now

-hey so fun fact when kate bush's song kicked in i actually desperately wished someone would've given me one of those neat chamomile towels that makes you pass out instantly because :) i am wholly unequipped :) to hear that song :) in the context of this next scene :))))

-seriously if you haven't read the lyrics to that song yet, first contact your local veterinarian's office and schedule and appointment to be put down whenever their next available time is, then look up the lyrics

-stede calling him a nut again i literally

-UGH the CONFLICT you can see on stede's face when deciding whether or not to remove the fabric covering ed's head or not. does he want to remove the fabric so he can say one final goodbye, face to face? or does he want to leave the fabric on so his last image of ed in his memory will be when he's alive and excited at the prospect of running away with stede?

-the fact that stede is literally pulling the wool from over ed's eyes and waking him back up both physically and spiritually(???)

-like ed, who was resigned to his fate and at peace with his choice to sink into the depths and never wake up again, INSTANTLY finds the motivation to live the SECOND stede interacts with him and he starts fighting as hard as he can to return to the surface, and just when he thinks he's not strong enough and he'll succumb to the darkness anyway, a light appears to pull him back from the brink. stede's voice comes through begging ed to wake up, to come back to him, don't die please don't die, he's here now. and ed's face as he's hearing stede talk to him is so full of love and amusement and admiration and then a little confusion as mermaid!stede appears but goes right back into his fully smitten expression and longing gaze and i just. don't know how we were ever expected to recover from this.

-THEY WERE ACTUALLY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAZY TO JUST THROW THE GOD DAMN GENTLEBEARD/BLACKBONNET SEASON 1 BEST MOMENTS MONTAGE AT US LIKE THAT WITH NO WARNING DURING AN ALREADY EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY TAXING SCENE

-anyway i am both irreparably broken inside and also reborn from this episode. thank you alyssa lane and alex sherman and also i will never forgive you for this

[vulpixhoney]

I'm definitely just yelling into the void but I'm sharing my Luke Castellan playlist (again) and analyzing some of my songs choices because I have. brain worms. about these books. so character study with music

I have like 8+ hours of song in this playlist bc I've been adding to it for years so here are some highlights I'm thinking about rn

1. would've could've should've - Taylor Swift

but like. it's for him and Kronos you know. "And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil. At nineteen" literally dancing with the devil at 19. Kronos has been manipulating Luke since he was 17, taking his anger at the gods and twisting it into something that Kronos could use and abuse. And I think (imo) that even before TLO when Luke sacrifices himself he starts to regret joining Kronos but is so far in it now he can't turn back. Like he was a kid, he was seventeen. And even after that he's still young. He dies at 23/24, I'm 23 right now and I can't imagine getting literally possessed and having to kill yourself bc you got manipulated at a young age and made terrible choices. also "If you never touched me, I would’ve. Gone along with the righteous" if Kronos didn't reach out to him and one of his worst moments this wouldn't have happened. Yes Luke was angry and vengeful and burning with rage for the gods but he wouldn't have gotten that far without Kronos

2. sanity - paramore

him and his descent/fall from grace, but also his relationship with Hermes and the rest of the gods. "If I fall on my knees, I hear you laughing. If I call out your name, you don't come" taking this for his relationship with the gods/Hermes: the first line is like, when he fails his quest and has to go confront them and feels like they're looking at him with pity. And they gave him a nothing quest too, it was something that had already been done by Heracles, he's being given this quest just for the sake of quest-giving, it's nothing. And then he fails, and feels like he's being mocked, mocked by the people he just wants to notice him. And then the second line shows how absent the gods are in their children's lives. When Luke confronts Hermes at 14/15 when on the run he gets mad because he would pray and call for Hermes to help him during his mom's episodes. He was a little boy calling out for help, for the something the gods caused. And it was crickets. Hermes never came, never showed, never helped him. He was just left there alone. And then also at camp, Luke was counselor of the Hermes cabin, where all the unclaimed children are shoved, to be forgotten about by the gods. "No one home, but the void is loud.Echoes around my empty house... This must be the void they always talk about" honestly I see this when he's possessed by Kronos. Like he has another being inside him, taking over, piloting his body over him. His consciousness was obviously still there bc Annabeth and Percy were able to help him break free and stop Kronos. So what was he doing, could he feel anything? Could he feel everything and not be able to do anything? It must have been terrifying, and again he would've only been like maybe 22? when Kronos possessed him

3. sidewalk chalk - Annalise Emerick

this one for me is like quintessential my feeling about Luke, Thalia, and Annabeth. In the song she sings about a childhood friend she no longer talks too but thinks about often thinks about and wishes well. I see this mostly with like Annabeth. "I'm living my dreams right now The ones we used to talk about" She grew up with him, and is now going to continue growing up without him. She probably blabbed about her dreams of being an architect the way that kids always do, and now she's the architect of Olympus and is doing really well for herself. And probably thinks back to when she was a kid with Luke and Thalia.

4. I don't like my mind - mitski

I think that his anger at the gods was driving him mad, but Kronos' influence really pushed over the edge. Also going back to before, his living in his body that another being has control over, "Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk". Ethan tells Percy that he thinks Luke is still in there, fighting back, trying to regain control over his body and his mind. And since he definitely was, he was probably in there spiraling about how he got to that point and all that he'd done and who'd hr become. Because once Annabeth helps him break through he is obviously regretful and wants to atone. "so please don’t take, Take this job from me" job/life. but also, him working for Kronos at that point was all he had. Literally. His job for Kronos was his lite He had given everything up at that point, and Kronos would routinely threaten Luke if/when he fails. Punishing Luke with nightmares and then forcing Luke to take him as a host bc he failed during the Atlas plan.

rapid fire songs I put in the playlist that I think about a lot:

eat your young - Hozier (obviously. I mean the gods ya know)

day after tomorrow - Phoebe bridgers (he's a soldier)

save me - Noah kahan (even after everything he's done Annabeth still tries to save him)

used to be young - Miley Cyrus (he was seventeen)

bad believer - st. Vincent (he's blasphemous what can I say)

[curseofbreadbear]

jumbled f.naf movie thoughts under the cut. proceed with caution because these are ALL spoilers!!

okay i am taking the idea that mike is not related to william and RUNNING. yes, that is mike Schmidt, but still?? there's the weird abby factor too, but i'm thinking so hard abt tossing aside the name because of her similarities to charlie. that LOOKS like kid charlie, not elizabeth, and considering how impeccable the casting was otherwise, i can't help thinking that was intentional? also god the misleads on the names were CRAZY. (remember when we thought "hank" was henry???)

i might take my lore-manipulation even Further and say, given everything, that mike IS mike, vanessa IS vanessa, and abby is a parallel for charlie. there's some book parallels sprinkled in the movie (there's actually a ton that, as a book appreciator (until tftp...), i love) BUT i am thinking especially about the reference to the kids believing spring bonnie is their Friend & how abby fixed their perspective / made them realize who their killer was via drawings. carlton did that in the books iirc, but the connection to charlie and Her Story is there? they also have a brother who went missing when mike was younger and like, that reminded me hardcore of sammy in the books. he was kidnapped, mike couldn't stop it, and he keeps replaying his own memories to try and fix it- just like how, once she remembers sammy exists, charlie references the closet he was taken from multiple times.

ALSO ALSO they have an aunt jane, and i KNOW, i'm stretching, but charlie has an aunt jen in the books. their personalities would be different to some extent (jen was absent & borderline neglectful because she Knew the truth about charlie, whereas jane straight-up wants custody of abby for Greed reasons), but that's still an aunt neither of them are fond of?

also yeah i think this movie is almost like the books in that it is not main canon, but a parallel that is supposed to help you find answers about game lore. that's why vanessa is there, despite that making the timeline Wack, but still has the same overall character. i'm also super supportive of the idea that mike schmidt is NOT michael from sister location because he would also just be a good standalone character.

i actually love the twist of william being vanessa's dad. iirc vanessa also referred to her dad as "bill" in the retro cds, which made me yell abt connected dots. i know that'd fuck up the timeline if it was real in canon, but like.....i adore william being a dad that she is trying to fight against. i think, on the whole, it's meant to represent william acting as a controlling father figure in game canon. it's also representative of vanessa's overall struggle against him, hence her being a "reluctant follower." i love movie vanessa. she got more screentime than game vanessa........

i ADORE the animatronics being portrayed as friends (to kids at least), which is how i always saw them. i also love the nod to william having influence over them bc again, they trusted spring bonnie in the books until they were shown the truth.

BALLOON BOY. straight-up he was the character who jumpscared the most and it was SO funny. i love that balloon boy figurine, i want him in my house Now

my husband (who only knows fnaf through osmosis) and i agree that susie's dog is possessing the cupcake. they made a joke about susie having a pet that somehow inhabits the cupcake now and it gave me a stupid epiphany - william almost definitely killed her dog (points at "toy chica: the high school years") so like...what if dog = cupcake?? that's why it's so damn FERAL (but also protective :'))

the credits.......whoever (on twitter before i left it) said they'd cringe if the movie had "five nights at freddy's" by the living tombstone in the credits was so fucking wrong. i was already mad abt that comment but like, with how much of a love letter this movie is to the series as a whole, it's even better that they got the song from the peak of fnaf's recognition. it's super nostalgic to me as somebody who has been with these games from the beginning. i remember first hyperfixating on fnaf and having a spotify playlist that was JUST the living tombstone's fnaf song. and now i have a playlist of 500+ fnaf fansongs y'know!!!!

ok those are the biggest things i got on my first watch. i know for a fact i am going to watch this multiple times so watch out for possible updates!!!! i'm also probably going to post this several days out because it literally JUST released and i don't want to overwhelm anyone (bc god , the reason i watched asap was because of how terrified of spoilers i was).

[uncloseted]

Did u like the Barbie movie? I feel bad bc I really liked it, I think it just spoke to me personally at the stage in my life I'm in, but people say it's like surface level feminism so I'm like should I be willing to critique it more idk you know?

I haven't seen it yet but I'm dying to! I've been so excited for it but I've also been super sick for the last week so I haven't gotten out to the theater yet.

In general, though, my view on it is that a win is a win. Barbie made $377 million in its opening weekend, making it the biggest debut ever for a film directed by a woman. It's the biggest opening this year, surpassing The Super Mario Bros Movie and every Marvel film released this year. It's reportedly the biggest debut for a comedic film ever. And it's a movie made by women, for women, about women. That's an insanely huge win for women in the film industry and films centering women, which have historically been derided as unprofitable. It's cause for celebration.

Is Greta Gerwig giving Judith Butler or Gloria Steinem levels of feminist critique? Of course not. But like, respectfully to all of those people who are mad about it, fuck off. Nobody is ever mad at the Marvel movies for being about socio-political issues but not delving into them deeply enough, but for some reason the Barbie movie has to be a treatise on feminism? It's not meant to be a three and a half hour long exploration of female frustration that you can only watch in French. It's meant to be a fun, campy, blockbuster movie, and that's what it is.

Frankly, anything more than what it's giving would be alienating to a mass audience and would contribute to the idea that women's films are unprofitable and not worth funding. Already, it's feminist content is making a ton of men very angry, and as dumb as it is, the reality is that that kind of anger has a very real impact on box office sales and future decision making. There's a reason Captain Marvel is largely absent from the other Marvel films, and there's a reason that almost nobody has seen the entirety of Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels (including me, despite many attempts). When you're creating pop culture, you have to meet the culture where it's at, not where you wish it was. And I think Greta Gerwig seems to have done a really great job of threading that needle. People who were expecting more from the Barbie movie were being unrealistic about what it could or would be able to do.

And not to be on a whole thing, but this constant rejection of all media is one of the reasons people find feminists and leftists on the internet so insufferable. Nothing is ever good enough. Everything has to be critiqued to death and nothing can just be enjoyed for what it is (unless it's like, the worst media possible, in which case it's a perfect masterpiece of feminist critique). It makes for a group of people who are constantly miserable because nothing can ever live up to their standards of ideological purity, and it makes for a group of people that alienates the creators that are on their side. I know it's out of fashion to be an incrementalist these days, and sure, let's smash the patriarchy, but the more we support movies like the Barbie movie, the more other female directors will get the chance to tell the stories that they want to tell, and the more likely it is that we'll see a film on the big screen that does interact with feminism in a deep and nuanced way. Maybe Greta Gerwig will tell that story, even. But she's not going to get to (or want to) if everyone jumps all over her for not being feminist enough, you know? I think in this case, everyone just needs to enjoy the fun. I promise it's good for our souls and for the feminist movement as a whole.

Edit: also, apologies if this was way more intensity than you were expecting. I just have a lot of feelings 😭

[abimee]

as someone who had to go to college bc it was the only conceivable way for me to escape an abusive environment, striaght up: dont go to college. your post is so true, if youre mentally ill (or physically ill, esp chronically) No One Gives A SHIT. i had an incident where i had to go to urgent care i was so sick and my professor was still like "Well. you need to show up to class or youre absent. if you have 2 absences, you fail automatically." so i had to show up half-dead. no one helps you. im also bipolar and went to my college's counselor for help and while she was a lovely woman she didnt support me much there she didnt know much about the disorder. the only way i was able to graduate was bc i was getting an art degree and making things i was already going to make anyway, if that makes sense, and ironically my anxiety disorder was helpful but oh my god it was so bad for my mental health!! so bad and awful!!

tldr: fuck everybody who starts berating you college sucks and theyre all fucking ableist as hell AND on TOP of that it is just such a classist ass money pit and its Not Fucking Worth It

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT IS and its SO FUNNY when people tell me to ''get a scholarship'' because news flash asshole; scholarships expect things from you like Bs in all your classes and to actually gaduate, when I can barely pull it together for a B in a class im GOOD AT in HIGHSCHOOL.

I WAS ALSO IN SPECIAL EDUCATION! My math class only went up to a 6th grade level, I never did pre-algebra! I dont even know how to go calculus or trig or any math involving letters and complex systems because my own highschool special education classes didnt teach me it because I wasnt capable enough for it yet! So even if i try to go into college on a scholarship theyll definitely revoke mine and make me pay for it in full once I have a manic episode and stop showing up for a week and then come back and have to tell my teachers ''yeah i never learned any of this in highschool. i was smoking cigarettes in dugouts instead of going to class''

like i am just Not someone who will make it through college unless they give me 30 different accomodations because I already dont have the money to deal with my Mysterious Body Proclems and my severe mixed bipolar that sends me into hysterics monthly in rapid cycles. Not to mention in highschool they found out that i just literally cannot learn in your typical school setup of sitting in a classroom with other people but they wont allow me to do homeschooling/online classes because im so Bipolar that if im left by myself for a long periods of time i may hurt myself. So im literally the most physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially unfit person for college 😭👍 AND I DONT EVEN HAVE ANYTHING I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL FOR!!! IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH AT ART FOR AN ART DEGREE, I CANT DO MATH, I AM TOO MENTALLY UNSTABLE FOR THINGS LIKE SOCIAL OR RELIGIOUS STUDIES, ETC.

Literally just a crockpot of unwell yet every time people find out i never went to college they act like im some dead end loser destined for nothing like gee thanks this makes me feel way better about myself, i bet you love making me feel bad from your ivory tower because you think im just lazy and not a literal psychotic threat to myself on every level. drives me MAD!

[kopivie]

fortunately, none of my teammates follow me here so i'm just gonna unload my thoughts.

i. LOVE. tchotchkes.

so, for context, i got poached into a splatoon team whilst play open clam blitz this past april. i was testing out a splatterscope because i'd never used it in anarchy before and i landed myself on a team with a three stack -- rev, rude, and tourist. we won two matches and then suddenly, as i started a new match with completely different people, i got an influx of discord messages.

at the time, my in-game name was my discord tag (prior to the user change policy). i hurriedly added one of them -- rude -- and he was like "hey we're in a discord call, join my server!" and let me tell you, i was TERRFIED because at that point, i'd already been added by a myriad of people who either wanted to exchange friend codes or tell me to kill myself.

(whether they were serious or not, who knows. at least that means i'm good enough to make people mad.)

rude introduced me to tourist and rev and in the call, explained that their team leader, apple, was absent for a while and they needed a backline to play open with them for some time. i was suuuper confused because i was like ???? why would you want me, some bumbling splatterscope user, to sub in for a competitive backline captain???? but they all reassured me that i was really really good! and they told me that they wanted to play with me more often. shortly thereafter i met apple and i became an official sub for the team, and now i'm a permanent member and...

wow.

there's a lot more to tell. there's so, so, so much. but... these people are like a family to me. like, actually.

as it stands right now, i'm the oldest on the team (not by much), but they're all like little siblings to me. (except tourist because i think he's older than me.. he's also taking a break bc of his busy life!)

apple is like the sibling i have to keep an eye on because she's a little self-destructive but i wish her all the happiness in the world with her and her endeavors.

rude is the silly little brother that i hope my own little brothers grow up to be – he's bubbly and chill, super fun to spend time with (although i still have yet to get comfy sitting in silence with him -- in due time), and i want to squeeze him and put him in my pocket.

and rev is quite literally the little brother of the group. he's a baby! (although i'm 99% sure he's taller than me. big ass kid.) he reminds me of my little sister and he's just a funny kid, i adore him.

we play splatoon together almost every day these days (i've been contributing more and more to the team and i think we've been improving!) and i know it's 1 am, but myself, rude, and apple actually just finished a private battle where apple and i did a 1v1 e-liter battle. we did this for HOURS. like everyone really sat and enjoyed laser tag with me. i'm the resident charger main/lover in the server and i just... wow.

tl;dr: i love tchotchkes so much. they're genuinely my best friends, and i wish them all happiness and love in their lives.

[flowerslut]

(I have to answer this Like This because I am a clown who somehow turned her ask box off but thank U for still sending this despite that fact 😭) @clarasogatsby

Either way!!! Thank you so much for the message I love talking about these stupid characters and these ridiculous books—it keeps the Twilight gears turning in my brain which keeps the hyper-fixation strong 🤩🤩🤩

Do I think Alice hates her? I mean, she definitely doesn’t like Maria. I can’t imagine you’d have any fond feelings for anyone your vampire husband spent 80 years alongside, killing and fighting (and fucking?—if you go by movie canon), especially knowing how terrible the situation was, how depressed he was, and how much you may or may not have witnessed with your wild vamp super-powers in the time period before finding said vampire husband.

@volturialice and I were talking about it a little last week and agree that we definitely think Alice has some sort of reluctant allowance of Jasper to stay “on good terms” with Maria because I mean… If we’re going to look at positive things here: Maria did keep Jasper alive for 80-odd years, and she would be a very powerful/good ally to have (and because of that, would likely make a bit of a dangerous enemy, too).

(also I'm putting this under a read more bc I can't shut up apparently)

But what does “on good terms” with mean? THAT’S what’s fun. I don’t think they’re sending Christmas cards to each other, and I find it notable (and I, personally, hate) that Maria was absent during the Breaking Dawn Volturi confrontation. Did Alice and Jasper even attempt to get her as a witness? Did they try to and did she laugh in their faces? Did they avoid Mexico altogether during their mad dash to find proof of other hybrids? Would Maria’s presence have made things worse? 🤩 Thats what’s so FUN! You can play around with that so much. “Good terms” for someone with a background like Jasper’s might just mean “We aren’t actively plotting to kill one another; haha progress, y’know?” (Meanwhile Rosalie is in the background looking for their ‘Trauma And You’ books they keep in the living room as like, a coffee table book for their various vampire guests to look at.)

I personally lean towards that meaning that Jasper and Maria both consider the other one a valuable ally to have (worth more alive than dead) and will keep up a very, very loose and tense ‘acquaintance-ship’ because of this. I don’t think Alice likes her but will tolerate whatever link Jasper has to keep up with her because it’s better to be safe than sorry. Another important thing to note (and another thing that G brought up to me) was that in no way does Alice feel threatened by Maria’s existence, in any way. (I know people enjoy thinking that there’s some touch of jealousy or insecurity when it comes to Alice’s feelings about Maria—which is fine for fic! But it doesn’t track with her canon characterization.)

Alice has too much confidence and, thanks to her gift, too much assurance that she’ll see anything coming (Maria shenanigans included). Because of this I don’t think Jasper really HAS to “reason” with Alice on any front. If anything I can see it being some form of the reverse. For all we know Alice has seen 36638 visions of situations where having Maria around might help, meaning she could very well be the one forcing Jasper to play nice. (She also might have twice the amount of visions proving the opposite. Alice is practical though. People really are little chess pieces in her little Board of Life.)

Calgary is an INTENSELY fun thing to think and speculate about. Especially since Midnight Sun gifts us with the proof that Maria is “undeniably dangerous” and that after she’d “tracked them down” in Calgary they’d “had to move immediately.” Did she accidentally kill an ‘important’ human or implicate the Cullens while looking for a meal by sheer bad luck? Did she get silly and devious with her visit and orchestrate some dramatic way to get the Cullens to slip up and it worked? Did she put up a Midnight Sun-esque billboard reading “WARNING: LOCAL DOCTOR AND FAMILY ARE VAMPIRES”? Who knows! I personally head canon something a little more machiavellian; something that would’ve definitely made (at LEAST) Jasper slip. Something to prove that she may have some sort of impact or sway on him even after a period of time away from her and human blood. Maria pulling some sick power play just for funsies is what I imagine she’d do.

But again, Maria is fun because in Edward and Bella’s world (the world we’re told to care about) Maria isn’t a villain, she’s just a footnote in Jasper’s backstory. Who is just a footnote on Edward and Bella’s story if we’re being honest here. But as Jasper and Alice fans, we LOVE to dig deep into that because that’s a tie that links directly to them and is way too interesting to just ignore.

We (Jalice stans with taste) adore Maria because of 1) how MUCH potential her character is given with the little bit of information we receive and 2) she CAN be such a delightful antagonist to have because of the world she comes from and the life she leads. You can cast her in the role of ‘villain’ for fic purposes (as I have very notably done) but I don’t see her as a villain at all. I mean exactly what I say in this silly text post.

Remember, the Cullens are the only vampires who think murdering humans is ‘bad.’ It’s not illegal (for them, I mean). It’s their damn food source. And with their only law being “haha, keep it all on the DL you guys” then everything that Maria does is technically above board. She cleans up after herself, the humans don’t catch on, and if she gets to conquer some land in the meantime, then you go girl boss! 😌💅🏼

To wrap up: I don’t see Maria as a villain in canon at all, although she can be extremely fun to utilize as one in fic and in people’s personal canon. Mainly due to how interesting she is, and if she were a by-definition villain (or somehow, in some far off horrible future where smeyer continues writing Twilight books, if she ever became one) then I would only stan her 1000x as hard. I am a bimbo first, but a villain fucker second, and I would wholeheartedly welcome her with open arms if she ever got to be a fucked up mean little bitch in canon. (And then I’d die happy after she tore my throat out and I’d pray that she’d say something rude and demeaning about me over my bloodless corpse 🤩🤩🤩)

[j1998v]

my big sister is so fucking exhausting to be around that i have to leave the room in order to protect myself.

im seriously so tired of her, the way she acts, behaves, her mindset, every. single. thing.

im constantly in a turmoil bc im a Christian and love thy neighbor, but she is one of the only two people i hate in this world (the other is my father of course)

i have forgiven everyone but -

oh im tearing up typing this haha . i have forgiven everyone but she. she. i fucking hate her so much , she makes my life miserable. it is an absolute HELL to live with heri hate living with her

she doesnt know how to turn down her volume in the house for my baby sister at all

-she is the messiest and most disgusting person ive ever fucking known. i dont even know how its possible to live like she does, she LOVES filth im actually starting to cry from the rage in my heart. im so fucking sick and tired.

-i even told my mama that sometimes i pretend she doesnt exist ; the reason is because, we have chores right ? she never does her chores AT ALL. we are 4 sisters, her the oldest, me second, another sister and a baby sister . SHE NEVER DOES ANYTHING . I CANNOT . CANNOT EXPLAIN ENOUGH HOW MUCH SHE DOESNT DO SHIT.

i have prayed. countless fucking times about her to the Lord. asking Him to give me strength to keep tolerating her, times when i pray and just scream. she is insufferable. the heavens knows how miserable she makes me. saying that i am sick and tired of her is an understatement.

my parents joked . "haha youre like the oldest sibling haha"

oh. how fucking funny. that fucking hurts me so fucking bad. i assure you that she was never in my life. she was never there for me. she was absent my entire life. so of course im the most mad at her in my family; where was the big sister i needed? now im full on crying lmfao.

i am. just so sick.

we have a small shop, we'll never be rich but food is always on the table

but she.... SHE IS SO FUCKING STUPID

SHE THINKS WE ARE RICH OR SOMETHING, SHE JUST EATS EVERYTHING IN OUR SHOP. SHE DOES NOT THINK. LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE I AM FUCKING SICK OF HER - SHE EATS ALL OUR PROFIT. i want to scream. please...

does anyone get me PLEASE... please understand how frustrated i am.. she just eats and eats and takes and takes.... we have no profit... how will we make a living if she keeps up this act? i only take things from the shop when necessary , anyone would be angry too........... im tired

and when i tell her about this she just rolls her eyes, sometimes saying "you are younger than me dont tell me what to do" you are acting like a child you bitch.

its not just me as well, my mother, MOTHER, has vented to me multiple times about her . about how nothing can get to her head . do you know how fucking stupid u have to be that your MOTHER vents to her child about you ??

i hate living with her .

[cc-melody161]

Story time!

(This happened in my old highschool when I was in HK)

So there was this event we had every grade, we had to decorate the pin-board at the back of the class for a friendly competition. Being the art kid in the class, I volunteered.

My friend unfortunately got picked too because she was better at art (I say unfortunately bc she didn’t want to do it)

And another group of girls and boys were picked to help.

I had a small, tiny, itsy bitsy things that got seen at my check-up in the hospital and got forced to wait for a psychiatrist at the hospital, a pain in the ass, truly, as those ppl around me were all old ppl that were always groaning in pain at night.

But anyways. When I got back, the group of girls already made a sketch of how the pinboard was going to look like, my friend quit (wow, I wonder why!!)

It was a train with a girl and a boy sitting inside. I suggested to redesign it, the leader girl agree and I redesigned 3 sketches, they decided on the third one.

We staple on paper to the pinboard and I start to sketch. Note, no one else sketched beside me because I was the only one that knew how to draw anything at all.

And we spend around 5 after-schools to make a SKETCH of the train SEATS. I at that time had diaphragm inflammation and had to take pills, so I went to get some food before eating pills. When I came back with food, I discover.

Guess what

the whole board of paper, erased clean, not a mark.

I questioned why they did that. The leader girl excused that they thought “the window didn’t look fitting to style” even though she looked at my sketch before I started to draw that onto the board, but I was so angry I just went with it and didn’t say anything. Later that day I quit.

And then I called in absent for a few days, also the time my mom called the cops on me (info on my vent post)

Then when I came back, it was just… how do u put this kindly. Amature… drawing… it was literally just a girl sitting on a board with a long window behind it.

Disgusting.

I was mad

Not only because they erased my art without my consent, hinting they didn’t respect my art, they replaced it with that piece of trash.

I just got more and more angry everyday. I wanted to kill them, to be honest. My anger issues were through the roof.

Made me relapse once so I don’t hurt others

One day after school, I snapped and grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off the girl’s head in the drawing. And then I left a sentence in the sign bar,

“Watch, someday, I’ll kill you all”

I wrote in pink highlighter. Which was…wtf? That’s so corny.

Anyways. Later on those girls said that we agreed on erasing the sketch (lie). And that I threatened them with my cutter (lie, I hope…).

At that time I was about to move to Australia anyways, so I dropped out early. Sigh. They made me unable to even join the signing competition. What a shame.

Looking back, maybe I went too far. But hey, you fuck around with a mentally ill person, you fucking find out. People should know to respect my art, yeah?

Well. They later started to rumor I’m a psycho and will kill them. Good for them, now they won’t annoy me, and I’m glad I cut them off.

[chrnic-pessimst]

I know im a shit person, no surprises there but am i really that bad… I empathize with ppl a lot which is probably why i get more hurt whenever ppl try to apologize to me. I understand them. I can’t help it. This feeling is eating me fucking alive and i don’t even know what it is. Talking about my feelings is very hard for me because sometimes i dont even know how i feel and need someone to tell me how i actually feel.

Im sorry for never admitting anything, for not telling anyone how i actually feel, for not actually meaning anything i say to people. Im sorry to VV because even when she has alr apologized, i still feel shit about her. It’s probably valid but it just feels so wrong to do it. Im sorry to MC too, I don’t want not to be friends w him just bcs he talked about me behind my back, because ik myself i did that too, but he and NL fought and blew up and i was stuck in the middle not knowing how i should be feeling. Then, he ended up befriending VV and AJ and a bunch of other ppl. AJ, i rlly love her, i do. Im not mad at her, it’s just that when i feel unimportant, i really distance myself so ppl would feel that im absent and try to pull me back to make me feel wanted but, they didn’t do that, so i just separated myself more and more. 

I almost had a relapse, well i did,, but does it really count if it didnt bleed?

My abandonment issues are very severe, i feel shit when ppl dont tell me a certain secret, a certain conversation, a certain hang out and a bunch of other things that involves me not knowing something. It makes me feel very excluded. Im a very jealous person and im aware. I shouldn’t be jealous, I know, but i cant help it and cant do anything about it so i js keep it to myself. Im so tired. I want to die.