#and I was cut off
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Story time!
(This happened in my old highschool when I was in HK)
So there was this event we had every grade, we had to decorate the pin-board at the back of the class for a friendly competition. Being the art kid in the class, I volunteered.
My friend unfortunately got picked too because she was better at art (I say unfortunately bc she didnāt want to do it)
And another group of girls and boys were picked to help.
I had a small, tiny, itsy bitsy things that got seen at my check-up in the hospital and got forced to wait for a psychiatrist at the hospital, a pain in the ass, truly, as those ppl around me were all old ppl that were always groaning in pain at night.
But anyways. When I got back, the group of girls already made a sketch of how the pinboard was going to look like, my friend quit (wow, I wonder why!!)
It was a train with a girl and a boy sitting inside. I suggested to redesign it, the leader girl agree and I redesigned 3 sketches, they decided on the third one.
We staple on paper to the pinboard and I start to sketch. Note, no one else sketched beside me because I was the only one that knew how to draw anything at all.
And we spend around 5 after-schools to make a SKETCH of the train SEATS. I at that time had diaphragm inflammation and had to take pills, so I went to get some food before eating pills. When I came back with food, I discover.
Guess what
the whole board of paper, erased clean, not a mark.
I questioned why they did that. The leader girl excused that they thought āthe window didnāt look fitting to styleā even though she looked at my sketch before I started to draw that onto the board, but I was so angry I just went with it and didnāt say anything. Later that day I quit.
And then I called in absent for a few days, also the time my mom called the cops on me (info on my vent post)
Then when I came back, it was justā¦ how do u put this kindly. Amatureā¦ drawingā¦ it was literally just a girl sitting on a board with a long window behind it.
Disgusting.
I was mad
Not only because they erased my art without my consent, hinting they didnāt respect my art, they replaced it with that piece of trash.
I just got more and more angry everyday. I wanted to kill them, to be honest. My anger issues were through the roof.
Made me relapse once so I donāt hurt others
One day after school, I snapped and grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off the girlās head in the drawing. And then I left a sentence in the sign bar,
āWatch, someday, Iāll kill you allā
I wrote in pink highlighter. Which wasā¦wtf? Thatās so corny.
Anyways. Later on those girls said that we agreed on erasing the sketch (lie). And that I threatened them with my cutter (lie, I hopeā¦).
At that time I was about to move to Australia anyways, so I dropped out early. Sigh. They made me unable to even join the signing competition. What a shame.
Looking back, maybe I went too far. But hey, you fuck around with a mentally ill person, you fucking find out. People should know to respect my art, yeah?
Well. They later started to rumor Iām a psycho and will kill them. Good for them, now they wonāt annoy me, and Iām glad I cut them off.
#YAYYYYY#HAPPY ENDING!! (?)#anyways I hate those ppl#the guys that were assigned to our team didnāt do shit btw#lmao#I was the only one carrying the whole class with art#and I was cut off#well they found out#I wanted to bash their heads in lol#wanted to stomp on their heads#wanted to break their fingers#to make them insane with torture methods
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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SHE REDSTONED WHAT???
#jaw dropped when i saw she streamed for 8 hours#jaw fell off when i saw this tweet#timezone is not cut out for this#pearlescentmoon#hermitcraft#hermitblr#hermitcraft smp#hermitcraft s10#hermitcraft season ten#hermitcraft 10#hc s10#hermitcraft season 10
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They're both autistic (and ADHD) 2 me
#was anyone else taught to treat eye contact like a game you can win or was that just me and Stanley š¤#anyway hc that as a kid Stanley always tried to be the strength to Fords weaknesses (and viseversa)#meaning that if Ford was bad at eye contact then he HAD to be good at it (even if he didn't like it much either)#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#pines twins#young pines#kings of new jersey babeyyyyy#young stanford pines#young stanley pines#fan art#fanart#gravity falls fanart#my art#the entire pines family is autistic and adhd btw. source: I am autistic (and likely adhd) and am massively projecting onto them <3#alt text now fixed!! damn copy paste cutting off half the description
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Monsters
Bittersweet Dreams || Perspective || Evil || Fighter
#comic#lgbt#trans#trans comic#lgbt comic#shire draws#fursona#bo#shire selfies#yet another comic about my mom lol#i will probably never make one about dad because he is dead to me and that's less complicated#less anguish and complex feelings to process#it will be a decade next year#whereas she keeps trying to cut off the parts of me she doesn't like#and swearing she loves the rest#tw abuse#tw transphobia
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having long hair is fun but it does mean accepting that you have an entity on your head that understands the concept of the sunk cost fallacy and will not hesitate to remind you of this
#š#'i spent 5-10 years growing you out and i could cut you off in an instant' is an empty threat. sadly. if you like your long hair.
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biblically accurate ethan winters
#ethan winters#resident evil#rebhfun#resident evil fanart#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#if ethan was a animal is 100% a rabbit/hare#it fits his character so well#making him any prey animal is the best imo...#cornered prey animal that kills all the predators and wins#i cannot view him as anyhting like a wolf or whatever š\#the unluckiest hare#maybe hes so unlucky cos his lucky foot got cut off lol
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Rabbits
Some bonus art, I initially started making this in a totally different art style but changed my mind about halfway through lmao, here are the parts I finished
#edit: terfs fuck off#this is literally about people like you#flashing#pulsing light#eye strain#(only under the read more cut)#art#comic#colored pencil#Illustration#I realized like halfway through making this that this is just the leopards eating peoples faces party joke lmao#im glad i abandoned that original art style bc the way it gets compressed when converted to a gif is so badĀ š©#actual reason i abandoned the original style was it was taking super long#especially if i wanted it to actually look good#but i still liked how it came out so i wanted to post it anyway lol
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fuck it since my birthday is in like one day i'm gonna use my birthday wish to tell y'all to look at the shit going on in southern Appalachia right now after Hurricane Helene. look at it and talk about it and spread resources about it like wildfire because nobody else fucking is and it feels like we're on our own out here.
there are people who are stranded in hazardous areas that are still safer than trying to leave by driving on the increasingly hazardous roads. i'm personally going into my third day without electricity at this point, and haven't been able to get any gas for a generator to even keep our fridge working. there are very few places with power or running water, and cell service has just barely been restored in the last hour. ground crews are working hard to repair things, but there are many, many areas that are entirely inaccessible that may not receive these fixes for several more days if not weeks. i'm afraid my own neighborhood might become one of those areas if repairs don't get to us soon, and since we're much more rural i have a difficult time trying to be optimistic about it.
we're very far inland. i guarantee you damn near everybody here was expecting a little more rain and wind like we usually get during hurricane season, if they even heard about the hurricane beforehand in the first place since most people only got about a twelve hour notice before landfall- after several major areas had already been flooded. our terrain protects us from most major weather events- most locals have never encountered a single tornado or legitimate tornado warning in our entire lives. nobody i've talked to or heard from about it seems to have had any idea that it would be this bad. everybody's wishing that they took it more seriously, but we've never, ever had to before. i've seen people comparing it to Hurricane Katrina and honestly i'm not sure if that's all too inaccurate. today while looking for a single working gas station i drove by a military helicopter parked in front of the elementary school i went to when i was little.
please for the love of god, talk about us. talk about the good memories you had here or the beauty of our mountains, and talk about how devastated we are as we watch historic structures, buildings, and entire towns get wiped from the face of the earth like they were never even there. stop dismissing us as uneducated hicks and rednecks and hilllbillies and fucking help us.
r/Asheville resource/updates megathread (Asheville is the largest city in western North Carolina)
How to set up disaster roaming for cell service
WLOS Live updates
Duke Energy power outage map
WNC Landslide Map
Hotels accepting locals
Emergency shelter locations
I live in western North Carolina so all of my own resources are centered around that. If anybody from the other impacted areas has additional sources they'd like to add, please don't hesitate to do so.
#hurricane helene#natural disaster#appalachia#tropical storm#north carolina#tropical storm helene#i've been reblogging a good few posts about it on my main blog (@spingtail) but i get more reach here#i understand that it's hard to get actual resources for people here with how hard we've been hit & very spotty cell service anywhere#which is why i ask that yall at the very least just TALK about it. dont let us disappear quietly. holler about us until we can holler back#i'm sorry if this post comes off as aggressive or something unfortunately i've hit the point of disaster grief where i'm angry about it#and especially about the fucking silence. asheville was cut off from the world through all means except air for several days#chimney rock is fully gone and it feels like nobodys talking about it except the folks who live here & the loved ones who cant contact them#fuckass storm
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News spreads fast.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#I absolutely love the contrast between JGY and JGS in this scene.#While JGS is acting as an instagator and trying to fan the flames of discontent (pulling his devious (g) strings)#JGY tries to keep a fairly neutral stance. If anything he reads like someone who's attempting to chair an unruly group project.#Honestly I think this scene does so much to show us why JGY manages to become the respectable leader he does in the future.#He's actully good at leading discussions and doesn't rise to bait. He's trying to start a productive discussion with *real facts*.#There is genuine honour in his approach and he never jumps into the emotional bandwagon.#The issue at the moment is that he doesn't have same level of authority as the contrastively *worst* sect leader does.#Jin Guangshan has a very specific agenda - to gain power by throwing anyone he deems expendable into the gutter.#The story even explicitly calls him out on not being so different from Wen Rohan multiple times.#The insidious part is that he's surrounded by people who think this is all justified.#It's all about using the 'victim' narrative to leverage justification. Which I'll get into more in upcoming comics.#(cut off text in panel one is supposed to be 'dead girls walking' but I ran out of room to make that clear. whoops!)
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I love Michael Afton's story in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#william afton#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf 4#undertale#shout out to that one undertale line that destroys us all#call me corny call me simple BUT#I genuinely love Michaelās story in fnaf#and Iāll stand by it forever#Michaelās story is told to use indirectly so we have to infer a lot#and I do think thatās cool#just based off actions a few words spoken written and said#through mini games etc#you learn so much about him his whole life#Michael did not start in a hopeful place#heās William Aftonās son his life was always gonna be torture#but thereās something almost beautiful#after heās scooped after he literally cuts the poison out and he realizes his father is awful#heās renewed he grows back he keeps going#he refused to die just to get rid of his father#I know people sees Michael story as tragic but thereās such hope in it#Michael kept going
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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WHERE MY GORE LOVERS AT BABY
I never see appreciation for the bishop purgatory designs anywhere, so. I am here. To change that.
I want to see more people mess around with the designs... I want to see more people including silly headcanons and stylizing them!!! Because the designs are all amazing!! The way each design conveys how the lamb fought them is INCREDIBLE.
The top of Leshys' head is devoid of foliage because the rest of him was hidden underground during his fight. Hekets' throat and stomach are raw and skinned because she's always landing and scraping around hard on stone when she's trying to crush you. Kallamar is covered in a large burn because it's so difficult to get close to him during his fight, implying the best strategy was a long range strategy. Shamuras' front is completely torn open and hanging out because they're running directly at you during the entire fight and that is exactly! Where! You'd! Be! Hitting them!
I'm just really really passionate about the bishop purgatory designs. I want to see more people explore them I think they're so cool.
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl fanart#cotl bishops#cotl leshy#cotl heket#cotl kallamar#cotl shamura#gore#cw gore#tw gore#blood#cw blood#tw blood#body horror#cw body horror#tw body horror#sorry im loading up on tags here#i dont want to put the art under a cut#so this is my manner of keeping this off the dash of ppl who wouldnt wanna see it lol#anyway#if you reblog this tag it with your favorite purgatory bishop design#mine is def kallamar because of the intrigue of it all#i have silly headcanons for him borne of the purgatory desjgn alone
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I recently got a bunch of TNG novels at a charity shop and this passage from the FIRST BOOK is making me feel craaaaazy
#the characterisations are all over the place because they were still finding their footing on the show itself :') like riker is rly insecure#and kind of a hardass???#and picard is a little TOO standoffish#but it makes me appreciate this all the more cos im like Oh but they understood from the get-go that geordi like. ADORES Data#šššš#anyhoo. sorry for not drawing. i was doing some commission stuff.... and also it just takes me forever to motivate#myself to draw anyway. that tag got cut off awkwardly. but you get it.#Data Soong#geordi laforge#daforge#star trek#tng#mwah mwah love ya
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ur highschool bully gojo was chefs kiss š what do u think about them going to the same college and taking the same classes?? and the reader sitting next/talking to some other guy and satoru gets jealous?? arwahhhshdhshshs so many possibilities, i hope u continue writing it!!
hi nonnie !! thank you so much :) this is ur official part 2 ! i was struggling to think up some possibilities but this helped a lot :oo | read part 1 here ! -> cw: swearing, jealousy, i let it get fic length oops
(former) highschoolbully!gojo on the brain againā¦ like. when you end up seeing him again however many months later, and you can tell that heās changed. itās not like its immediately obvious to anyone who doesnāt really know him like you (used to); but heās a little softer-spoken and his smiles seem nine times more genuine. itās not a hundred percent; the kind that really lights up his face instead of just barely falling short of his stark blue eyes, but it's something.
of course, you have nothing to base it off of, because when you do inevitably see him again it's the very definition of meet ugly.
college is a new frontier, but its also a clean slate. its your first time going into something so new without your old bestfriend at your side, but some faint flickering thought reminds you that it might be better that way. but the universe is against you from the very first day, when youre gettin yourself some coffee from the same chain you did the morning of that fateful presentation so many moons ago. you're too busy thinking to yourself what kind of strange parting ritual it is to relive your trauma to notice the lanky, white-haired boy who hits his head on the chiming bell over the doorway. people are giggling around you n sighing dreamily but youre too deep in the music pumping through your headphones to notice and your eyes are glued to the class schedule on your phone, trying to ensure you dont get lost on the first day whenā
you blink and your ass is flat on the dirty floor of the coffee shop, and the first thing you register is that your stomach is soaked and burning. you'd spilled your coffee. it takes you a moment to realize, but when you do you're pissed. so you quickly get to your feet, trying to reign in what little of your ego you have left to give the offender who bumped into you a piece of your mind as you look up, then..
how unlucky do you have to be?
just like that, satoru's slid himself back into your life, after ramming through its locked gates. you forget that he always forgets the point of keys, both when it comes to his apartment (which you still have the spare key of in case of emergencies), and the door to your heart. to rub salt in the wound, the only thing that's stained with your coffee order are his shoes, which look like they cost three weeks of your old job salary, but it's all over your shirt. of course it is. because why not? make it look like you tripped and fell into a patch of mud on your way to the lecture hall and tack on an unwelcome reunion with your ex-bestfriend.
to you, it's like the cloud of gloom from your highschool youth has resettled over your head like a swarm of gnats on a dreary, hot summer day. the stars always seem to skew and misalign themselves for you. but for satoru, the stars have handed him one of those huge swirly lollipops that you only ever see being paraded about by toddlers. he recovers almost instantly, trading the burn on his feet and the way it sours your expression like he's just squirted pure citric acid into your throat for a pleasant burn of his own on his cheeks. but it's whatever. girls seem to like it when he blushes, for some reason. he won't question it, if it works on the only one he cares about.
he holds his hand out, ready to help you out like the good samaritan he's becomeā and it's like a real burn to his heart this time when you ignore it and stand up on your own, refusing to look up and meet his pleading gaze. might as well have taken an iron stoker right out of the fire and jabbed him with it. but he's gojo satoru! he won't be defeated by this one mere, maybe very significant reunion. he's got stamina.
so he offers to buy you a new drink, feels his heart sink when you shake your head (can't even spare a little 'no' in his direction), and talks enough for the both of you when you leave the dingy little store make your way down to campus and the lecture building. you clearly don't want to see him, but he ignores that in exchange to notice the way you shiver every so often. the previously searing-hot coffee that stains your shirt turns cold fast, and moisture n wind don't mix well. he wishes he could offer you some of his own warm coffee, no doubt sickeningly sweet, but he has some sensitivity now, apparently. so, in a brash moment, he decides to take his blazer off and drape it over your shoulders instead.
when you cross the threshold between city and campus, you expect him to yank it off your back and be on his merry way. but he keeps walking next to you, so you walk a little faster, and you absolutely loathe the cheeky little grin that curves the corners of his lips up to show a glint of teeth when he effortlessly keeps up. you curse his long legs when you find yourself winded, but at least you can lose him when you get there.
or, that's what you think. once again, your constellations break themselves to rebuild anew for satoru. you're about to call him a stalker when he follows you all the way to your classroom with that smirk that's growing exponentially untilā oh, no.
your phone that's been on the schedule up until now desperately scrolls to the rosterā and there it is. he's in your class. needless to say, not another word goes between you as you stomp in and take a seat. luckily for you, you've already corresponded with your roommate's brother (who's annoyingly cute, satoru notices) and agreed to sit next to each other. satoru takes the seat right above you and never stops kicking his freakishly long legs against the wood the entire time.
so yeah, it's obvious he's not a saint; he still has that undoable ego and he's cocky as fuck (as you have the misfortune of finding out when he quickly bullies your professor), but there's a certain familiarity in that no matter how ugly it might appear to others. and if you asked (which he really, really hopes you will someday), he doesn't hang around douchebags who use kids' foreheads for ashtrays and treat girls like they're candy from a glittery pez dispenser. and at least he's switched harassment targets. even though he has an overwhelming sense of superiority over others and never has his lips together for more than five seconds, and even though he has this hellish habit of clicking his pen whenever he's not talking (or when someone else is), it seems like he's changed.
and over time, you gradually find yourself warming up to him. the spunkiness that used to get on your nerves ceaselessly becomes an object of endearment, and you don't really mind the way he never seems to stop moving anymore. it's a nice sort of distraction in the lifeless still of the lecture hall, albeit the pen clicking still drives you near insanity. you notice he always does it obnoxiously and quickly when you're talking to your roommate's brother, but you ignore it.
and for satoru? he hates that he can kinda sorta really tell that you're the only one who can read him like he's a damn book, cus you slowly start to soften up in the nostalgia of his presence like cold playdough between warm fingers that tell you he may have finally caught you again after letting you slip the first time. and he notices it. this time, he's determined not to let you be the one that got away again. but youre really giving him a shit time outta it with the way you constantly entertain the guy who always has his breath in your face.
yeah, he's got a cute face that's sunkissed by freckles. yeah, his hair looks like he models for shampoo companies. and fuck, he has a nice voice. but what of it? satoru's the one with the mesmerizing blue irises and the cloudy white hair your professor wishes he had instead of sad little wisps of old age. still, as chilly days turn into frigid weeks, he gets the perfect backseat angle of the growing relationship between the two of you. the boy's kinda dumb so you copy off of satoruās work when you need to (he has to hide the 1-0 scoreboard between him and the guy on a sticky note from you when you take his notes), but said guyās always buying you stuff and lending you erasers and laughing when you flick the shavings at the annoying girl who never stops whispering in the front of the room.
satoru tries to act unbothered, and he almost convinces everyone. including himself. but the angry, burning knot in his chest that's entirely different from coffee stains suggests something more. that should be him at your side. him, making balls of paper with rude scribbles and silly doodles to throw at the people he knows you don't like. him, surprising you with little gifts and the cheap trinkets he knows you adore so much instead of all the luxury things he could afford. there's no way this punk could possibly measure up to him, right? but at least you and satoru are well on your way to becoming friends again. not as close as you used to be, but it's something. substantial. and he's learned to be patient in the time you've been gone.
but he'd be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn't tired of it. heās endlessly plagued with thoughts of increasing intensityā first, it starts out with just you. only you. the way he likes it. the way he likes your face, and your pretty eyes and your gorgeous lips and your soft hair and your figure and the complimenting clothes you wear. but it takes a turn; thoughts turn into dreams that turn into fantasies and he's lying when he says he doesn't enjoy them when he accidentally lets it slip during a group study sessionā and itās all fineā but then, that guy appears. the brat who seems to sit a centimeter closer to you with each coming day. not only does he haunt satoru in real life, heās tormenting his dreams, too. tainting the image of beautiful you.
needless to say, satoru starts to wake up with his hands gripping his damp pillow like he's choking it, acutely aware of the sweat sliding down his neck and over his chest as he stares up at the ceiling, listening to the dorm's air conditioner run and thinking of what it'd be like for dreams (the ones where he replaces the boy) to become reality.
it's a buildup. and soon, he reaches the apex; it's like a rollercoaster, that stomach-twisting moment when you reach the top of the rail that points to the steep descent downward. but this time, he hopes it's a thrill he gets instead of the usual falling fright; the one he got when he realized heād slipped between your fingers in highschool.
and satoru finally comes to a grinding halt at the top of the ride one breezy fall day when he decides he wants you back in his life after you smile brightly at him and wave goodbye for the day. heās tired of you having one foot in and one foot out of his heart; he wants, needs more. he always has, he realizes.
so heās thinking about you and how to approach the feelings heās realized during those long lectures, and one morning he comes up with some semblance of a plan when heās high on the sugar from the fruit tea you bought him that morning. and he hopes that, by the end of it, he'll leave your apartment with your hand in his currently empty one, chilled with the remnants of cold condensation from the bottle.
soon enough, satoru finds himself extinguishing his nerves and raising a tense fist to knock on the door with nothing but the clothes on his back and a flimsy plan to ask you out on a midterm study sesh and maybe even a date, but he stops when he realizes itās slightly ajar. a brief thought of what look might be on your face when he surprises you crosses his mind, so he lets himself in quietly, because he knows every single floorboard that creaks like the back of his palm from his childhood. heās hit with a wave of warmth and an achingly familiar scent that twists at his heart, and your apartment is cozy and safe and it screams you and he thinks he catches sight of his jacket slung across the back of the couch in your living room, but heās not sure so he takes a step forward andā
heās greeted with the sight of that stupid guy with the nice hair and the freckles, and it makes his heart drop. but even worse, heās kissing you and his arms are winding around your waist but youāre kissing him back with a slight hesitation thatās blinded to satoru by his shock and the fingers he thought would end up in his own tonight card through the boyās hair and your lips glisten with the strawberry-kiwi flavored gloss he watched the boy give you a few days back and his world is turning red and he feels like his throat is constricting and he canāt breatheā
and he doesnāt even realize youāve parted lips and youāre calling his name through the newfound tightness of his chest and the painful ringing in his ears thats even louder than any silence of a lecture hall, or the void that shouldāve been filled with your voice during the time you were apart. but now satoru realizes heād take that any fucking chance to have that again because itās so much better than what heās stuck with now. having you, but not really having you, because youāre there but youāre someone elseās and youāre not his and he isnāt yours. the best thing he could ever hope for was for you to own an article of his clothing and a piece of his shattered heart, broken into a million fragments. some cruel voice in his buzzing head reminds him to change the scoreboard to 0-100.
and he could buy you cheap hot coffee or earn your smiles from scrunched up paper balls or even hear your laugh with crude jokes, but thereās no point when he realizes he canāt buy you with caffeine or earn you with hitting the back of peopleās heads with his bio notes or have you and your laugh all to himself anymore.
itās almost pathetic, the way satoruās voice cracks and changes. the look of unadulterated concern on the face of the boy who stole your lips just adds fuel to the fire.
āgojo? what are you doing hereā hey, are you okay? you look like youāve seen a ghost.ā
he noticed youād stopped calling him satoru a few weeks back. he shouldāve seen it coming.
āhuh? oh, yeah. iām good. i think youāre the one hallucinating.ā
heād never told a bigger lie in his life.
satoru had left after excusing himself for intruding. how very unlike him to be so polite, you think.
so in the end, he leaves your apartment with something in his hand, after all. but it's not your ownā just his blazer that youād given back to him before he stepped out the door, taunting him with the faint scent of coffee and lingering perfume. his hope was foolish, so it seems. itās too bad, he thinks. if it were him, he wouldāve sandwiched you against your counter while he kissed. but it wasnāt. apparently, it was your turn for your stars to align at the price of his.
and so, gojo satoru, the boy force-turned man with a chipped ego and a completely broken heart, loses you again.
bonus bonus.. part 2ā¦.
#here u go. yes!! u!!!!!! sorry it got long#thank you guys for the reception on the last part literally checking tumblr religiously the rbs and comments made me feel like floating#yea hes a hopeless loser srry i dont make the rules#ABND I TRIED TO HOLD HERRR but there was nothing i could do to stop her from cutting her beautiful blue hair off šļæ½ļæ½#gojo satoru#gojo angst#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gojo jjk#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk angst#did not proofread b i hope itās good šāāļøšāāļø#actually i j realized the coffee campus intro part is similar to another fic iāve read sorry if u noticed that it was on my subconscious š#billet-doux
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oh yeah i forgot to post this here too
#can you believe this is the first time im drawing actual drone nori and not cori#hopefully you cant cause it is#i think im Getting A Grip on my artstyle again#hopefully#headcanon nori never got her right glove back after getting it cut off so she only has the left one#its small but let me have this#she is a gamer. and she respawned. perfect#not as intricate as my other posts but im tired and dont have many ideas bite me#art#murder drones#murder drones nori#yeah thats about it for relevant tags i think
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