#and I know I’m not a failure
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#everything is awful and will stay awful until I get my exam results back#im feeling like a failure already and my brain has decided to add#you’ll forever be alone and no one will ever find you attractive#to the mix and that’s just unhelpful honestly#and now I’m feeling horribly sad and useless and I knowww my brain is lying to me#and I know I’m not a failure#but goddammit#this was supposed to be my year#and it started shit things in the middle were shit#and now I need a good start to the school year for once#not eight resits in the hope of succeeding (?) in my courses#please and thank you#also pls don’t send me encouragements tonight😅#I’ll only start crying again and then I really won’t get anything done#soph’s rambles
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Michael is very subtle about his daddy issues in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#henry emily#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf fanart#HENRY AND MICHAEL INTERACTION 🔥🔥#I know a couple of folks have been asking for this!#so I’m glad I finally got around to it#Michael introduces Mike to his ‘dad’s friend’#TBH I do like the idea a lot that Michael considers Henry like a father figure#cause I always assumed the Aftons and Emilys were close#so Henry was the Afton’s kids uncle in a sense#and the idea Michael much preferred Henry over his own father just checks out#Henry is a failure of a father and Michael is a failure of a son#so truly they’d match on at least trauma bonding#definitely have to draw some pizza sim content of em working there#Mike can’t even really judge Michael here cause not like his daddy issues is any better
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It’s hard to believe I deserve anything good when I’ve been subjected to so much cruelty.
#ryan.txt#cptsd#ptsd#trauma#traumatized#like I know I have to believe I’m good enough#but I truly don’t feel like I am#I feel inadequate#I feel worthless#I feel like a failure#it feels like all I deserve is abuse
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Vlads secretary recently quit in the middle of Vladco having a minor business expansion into Gotham and now he needs to hire a new one.
The bats are currently investigating one Vladimir Masters after he started to bring his business into Gotham. They’re very interested in the suspicious nature he acquired his wealth. Maybe it’s time to forge some resumes and bust out some old identities, Tim still has that blonde wig after all.
#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#tim drake#vlad plasmius#Tim would immediately be judging all of Vlads poor business decisions#Vlad when hiring a new PA: I will have to make sure Daniel doesn’t bring up plasmus around them#Vlad: hires new PA. New PA: immediately tells Vlad off for making bad decisions with the company and about not properly scheduling#fights with his nemesis (Phantom) on the calendar. honestly even Lex Luther makes sure his board knows he’s unavailable before gallivanting#after Superman again#Tim who’s had the job for a week and knows too much: I should not be relating to the super villain through failure with clone making#Vlad and Tim: I’m totally normal about cloning this one black haired blue eyed teenager… (Kon and Danny)#I’m referencing Tim because I’m more familiar with his cover identity’s then most of the other bats although Lego Batman could probably#pull off a disguise that would work based off the time he dressed as the mayor of Gotham
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I’ve always kinda disliked Jace for being a swagless nepo baby coded loser and also a blonde white boy but ngl realizing he’s kinda former gifted kid coded made me go ruh roh raggy….
#time to PROJECT lmao#it’s the finale & Brennan is making me consider the possibility that Jace stardiamond has INTERIORITY??#shut up Janelle#he reminds me a bit of another character I like. I shan’t say the name of the game. if u kno u kno#jace stardiamond#dimension 20#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#look I know it’s a reach but being naturally good at something so not having the skills to know how to accept failure and work for things??#like. if I’m not naturally good at a thing guess I’ll just quit while I’m ahead#what do you mean I have to build skills to improve
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Okay okay here’s a more serious DRs2p2 bingo that I’ve actually taken a bit of time to consider with what I think it more or less likely to happen for real.
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If I don’t get a full bingo I will krill myself
(I’m willing to answer any questions y’all might have on my predictions too in case someone wants to know)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#i have far too many predictions and ideas#could have made it bigger honestly#but i’m *already* setting myself up for failure so yk#c’mon ninjago writers just give me this#i’m already really goddamn good at predicting shit and it’s honestly kind of concerning me#i rly don’t know whether it’s me or predictable writing#but. oh well.#ninjago dr#ninjago dr s2#ninjago dr spoilers#cable stupids#bingo#bingo card#drs2p2 bingo card
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i’m watching episode 14 of season 2 of supernatural and this is DIABOLICAL like sam wym you’re asking dean to kill you???? after he LITERALLY COVERED UP A CRIME SCENE FOR YOU????
i can’t with these goddamn winchesters they’re going to be the fucking death of me
#I’m slowly but surely making my way through the season#and the person who told me it got better is a fucking LIAR#all I’ve gotten so far is everyone asking dean to kill sam#and dean having the most heartbreaking expression on his face#because that is his sammy his baby brother who he’s cared for ALL HIS LIFE#and now they want him to KILL HIM??? hell nah#their relationship is so fucking dear to me#and I’m just on season 2#like I’ve known these guys for 2 and a half seconds but I’d rather DIE than let anything happen to them#(yes I know I’m setting myself up for failure and depression ok?? I know)#anyways#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester
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I promised I wouldn’t quit on this game but I’m so close honestly. And the fandom is making it. Worse.
#you can care less about the lore and that’s fine but#there are objectively some themes that dragon age is ABOUT and that is not a debate topic#maybe you are less about themes and that is okay it isn’t some moral failure if you do#but the rejection of the core theme of the series is a big choice#and I’m not a bigot for pointing out flaws#I’m genuinely happy people are enjoying something#but it’s not a case of it’s not for you here it WAS FOR ME#it was for me for 15 years!!!#it was for me and the heart of it got torn out!#that sucks right? and you get how cruel you are being by laughing at that right?#I’m tired of trying#I don’t know if it’s wilful or just ignorant when people say oh it’s the same!! it’s just objectively not it’s ok to say it#there are things it does better! but it’s different
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we've both talked about how scully isn't jealous fire. what differences do you see between protective scully vs jealous scully?
yeah to me the main difference is that one is more external and the other internal. she gets very emotional when she’s jealous. in episodes like alpha (literally sitting that woman down and going “i’m watching you.” cracks me tf up. Dana nobody is taking your man.) and war of the coprophages, it’s kind of angry. it’s louder, but still something very vulnerable and true to her (hater-ism). in episodes like the end, it’s heartbreak. that’s one of the very few episodes where i think she was purely jealous, and sad. she usually understands what’s going on and i think she knew as soon as she heard him call diana by her first name that something was going to change. i think it hurt her feelings, that specific display of connection, usually reserved for her.
when she’s jealous she retreats. she watches quietly. she cries alone in her car. she needs a moment to herself.
it’s when she’s protective that you can’t shake her for anything. one of my favorite images in fire is her standing in the doorway while mulder and phoebe meet with the arson specialist. i didn’t even notice she was there the first time i saw it. she wasn’t invited. she’s just keeping watch. later, she’s standing in the hallway. after that, she’s in his hotel room, and doesn’t leave when phoebe comes in. says “are you okay?” the moment they’re alone.
people write off her behavior in this one as being “jealous” because she has a lil crush and there’s another woman there, but i honestly find that dismissive. sometimes people discuss scully through such a wide lens, not taking into account who she is. she’s really surprised throughout the time that phoebe was there. it’s that soft edge that still shocks to cruelty, that she never really loses. it’s what shocks in the pilot when the doctor hits mulder twice. what shocks in the following episode when the government agents punch him on the side of the road. (look at you you’ve radicalized scully). it’s what makes her wary of jerry lamana, even before he stole mulder’s work.
but phoebe is so cruel, and so personal, and has so much history. it’s not jealousy that makes scully linger in doorways. it’s not jealousy that spawns that folie a deux. no one else understands. no one else can be trusted. (which i do kind of think started in fire, i’ve said before). she isn’t jealous that he startles when he hears this woman’s voice.
and i know that’s a lot on phoebe as an example, but it doesn’t stop. she doesn’t stop keeping watch. she doesn’t stop shocking to cruelty. she’ll get loud. she’ll make plans. she’ll surprise herself. and it doesn’t come with jealousy’s mortifying intimacy.
(don’t have much else to say but i found this from an old post of mine and wanted to share: “scully has that kind of protectiveness towards him that you have towards a child that hasn't been touched by the world yet. it's very 'the world is at least half terrible, though i keep this from my children.’ 'good bones' by maggie smith. scully in the beginning is like......there is something here that should have broken by now. and she wants to watch him be able to walk into every room with the most hopeful answer and a hand out to every stranger.”)
she shares him with the world only reluctantly, Etc etc
#she wants people to be kind to him and it breaks her over and over#i’m still not very With It but i wanted to talk about this for a sec#i do think scully’s protectiveness is a much larger topic#i think it’s a huge source of harm for her#i think it’s a constant failure to her#i think it’s a endless cycle of wanting to absorb him whole or lock him up and shut the gate and then feeling bad. regretting it.#huge plot of iwtb / msi#it almost develops from that initial s1 jumpiness of just wanting people to not fucking beat him down#into knowing that everything does. everything will.#could they ever recover from her exiling him from being with their child because she was afraid it would kill him? i don’t know#the other thing that i’ve been thinking about a lot with this is that she’s guarding something most people don’t see#this world is so cruel to him. it’s insane to rewatch and see how carelessly people just want to see if they can shake him#and this world desperately wants to beat this kind of gentle vulnerability out of people#and it would be easier for scully if they did. she wouldn’t spend her days with a weeping wound. she wouldn’t be so anxious. so on guard#but she is unwaveringly dedicated to the much more difficult task of protecting something that’s very precious to her#i do think these qualities in her are extremely moving in that respect#and i love scully’s judgmental hater-ism#i just do also think it becomes a pathology for her in some ways#anyway those are some loose threads#asks#fire#‘For long hours on his couch that night#autopsy hands on his head#in his hair#she'd thought about what it would mean to hide him away.#Thought about what it would mean to steal and stash him like fairy treasure#to draw protective rings.’#(audries ‘throat eye and knucklebone’)
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the varying degrees of fail married we could be getting with Paul and irulan in dune messiah is something so incredibly serious to me
#someone pls tell me denis sees the vision#like he has to be cooking#I’m talking Charles/diana levels of deplorable chemistry riddled FAILURE of heteronormative romantic love#I need it so bad#I just know timothee and Florence would eat#dune#dune messiah#dune part two#princess irulan#paul x irulan#paul atreides
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My mom, making fun of homophobic conservatives: “hOw am I suPoSEd to TelL mY kiDs Why tHosE MeN aRE kISSiNg?” like, what twelve year old doesn’t know about gay people!?
Me, snickering and slowly raising my hand:
Mom, eyes widening: no. No surely you-
Me: I found out in middle school when my friends started dating. I didn’t know it was an option before then. They’re the first queer people I ever met.
Mom, head in her hands: but….I’m queer….
Me, fully cackling: and yet you didn’t know how to explain why those two men were kissing, either!
#in her defense I’m so aroace I probably wouldn’t know about straight people either if it wasn’t so shoved down my throat#Smh didn’t even get a and tango makes three book or anything failure parenting moment#gay memes#lgbt memes#lgbt+#lgbtqia#queer memes#something to nom on
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Rambles in tags subject at own risk it’s witching hour for me
#struggling so deeply recently#just been in a death process of watching my entire#life burn down#and alll the things I was#running from#by living abroad and#traversing the globe#for the past 5 years#well there is nowhere to run now baby#it’s me!! I’m the problem it’s me !!’#because everywhere you go there you are#but being back in a place when you’ve spent#7 years running from is just hell#and I’m frozen and so lost on what to do with my life#I just want to melt into a puddle of goo or go#do a fuck ton of acid like baba ram dass!!#fuck guys I’m on rlly on the struggle bus#if you are also on the struggle bus I see you#we are doing the best we can ok 😭#I am like mentally unwell I fear#every day I fucking see saw from I got this I’m talented#and can achieve my goals and dream life!!#to I’m a loser and destined for failure !! and am just a POS#wow!! look what happens when limiting beliefs#run the fucking show#but I know they’re not real#but they feel so real#I’m like getting in my own fucking#way#when we literally live on a rock in space
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Just threw away a drawing that took me an hour because my head made me think it was ugly and now I severely regret that decision, how’s your day going?
#vent#maybe a vent.?#I’m so pissed#I can’t draw the and i feel like such a failure#I know I never post this stuff here#I’m sorry to vent#but I’m just so mad and tired#nexternalknowsthingz#life is so weird rn
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i only cried once today after being yelled at/scolded for two hours straight!!!!! i would like my hug and pat on the head for being so good now please!!!!!!!
#technically i did cry one more time when i got home lmao#but like IT WAS MY FIRST DAY#AND MY FIRST DAY DOING ALL THESE THINGS#and i kept getting scolded for not knowing how to do stuff when it was a) literally my first time#and b) the person who was upset with me was SUPPOSED TO TRAIN ME#BUT THEY DIDNT#instead they just kept saying ‘you’re doing that wrong’#without ever showing me how to do it right#:(( like it’s your job to teach me!!!!#also they ignored me the entire morning like literally didn’t introduce themself or even say hi#and i am a VERY like outgoing/bubbly person irl#but i also need positive feedback or i will crumble to pieces#and i hate being made to feel stupid when i wasn’t taught something#like if you show me how to do it ill do it perfect the next time!!!#but expecting me to know something without being taught is impossible and setting us both up for failure#bleh sorry for ranting :(( bad day for quinn lmao#anyways i’m gonna eat some chocolate and do some homework and think about kissing gojo and maybe things will be better#i am accepting hugs and pats on the head though#because i was very brave (didn’t audibly cry in front of others)#q speaks
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Welp. *boots new game*
First | Previous | Next
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#art#fanart#comic#fancomic#everyone lives au#trust me#okay but on a page quality note#I can’t decide if I’m happy with this or not#I have learned that I do not know how to do silhouettes#cause it’s not clear at all#but I love the new coloring style on the face close ups#two new things—one success; one failure#that’s a draw right? can that be applied here? djndkdncjnd
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sometimes the fact that I’m out as ace to most of my conservative Christian friends feels so much worse than if I were just in the closet. It makes me feel a bit like the man standing in corner of party meme, because the vast majority of my friends Do Not Know what ace means, and think it means ‘Molten doesn’t like romance or sex at all, and doesn’t think about it unless prompted. She dislikes shipping, considering how often she talks about disliking ships in media, and she doesn’t like people blatantly doing PDA around her either. Clearly, she has no interest in sex or romance whatsoever and they are as foreign to her as the depths of space or the lost mysteries of ancient history~”
and then I’m over there in the corner like “I objectively think the narrative of most Batman franchises becomes infinitely more compelling and complex if Martha Wayne, Thomas Wayne, and Alfred Pennyworth were fucking. I genuinely think that’s a fascinating ship that should be more popular. I know more about the mechanics of bdsm than anyone here knows about any other topic except Dr. [Professor] because he has a doctorate and I do not. I could probably get one, though, if such a thing existed. I have made out with someone of the same gender - and I did it platonically. Josh over there can’t even bring himself to compliment his friend’s tie, and I’ve given someone hickeys because I was curious how much force it took, while actively discussing face blindness and tone deafness and how they affect self-identity with said person. None of you are capable of comprehending the manner in which I exist, it would kill you to try.”
#molten rambles#Ace#asexuality#”there is no platonic explanation for this” you are a coward and a fool and you are beneath me#“Molten might not know what that means- molten that means that she-“#“-I have seen diagrams the likes of which would make you cry out in terror and disgust.#“Not only do I know what that joke means -I made it in my head ten minutes ago and since then have been making progressively filthier jokes#“Jokes so horrible that if I were to say them aloud in this room I would actually literally just be expelled from this college.#“But yes please tell me how that clearly phallic object that Mary just made a comment about liking the size of is funny. I wonder.”#I would like to apologize to my mutuals I’m sorry I’ve had a Few Days#When you’re just. Not Allowed to know Anything about a topic or react to it at all even though every other adult in the room can#Because you’re ace so it feels Wrong for you to do it - like you’re still a child#like you’re somehow more innocent and therefore you noticing the joke is somehow a moral failure… on YOUR part???#I’m gonna fight the sun
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