#and I just want gender to stop being a driving force in my platonic relationships that im misinterpreting as romantic feelings

[yanderes-galore]

I just finished the clone wars now I’m curious how would Yandere platonic anakin react if his friend he knew fromHis Padawan days , left the order ?

I'm not done with the Clone Wars series so sorry if you imagined this taking place at the end of that series- but I have seen the first two prequels which were his Padawan days. I hope what I have down will work :) Sorry this took months to make- I kept it a bit general so there isn't many spoilers for the series.

If things are too OOC, tell me how to improve as I am really new to Star Wars! I'm sorry if I trigger the Star Wars fandom with my lack of knowledge :(.

Yandere! Platonic! Anakin Skywalker with Darling who leaves the order

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Desperate yandere, Mutual friendship turned forced, Overprotective yandere, Displays of Anakin's corruption, Manipulation, Murder.

For this concept the identity of your Master doesn't really matter.

All that really matters is they probably knew either Qui-Gon Jinn or Obi-Wan Kenobi.

This way you would've met Anakin Skywalker at some point.

Anakin is a very emotionally driven yandere.

In fact this is why he goes to the dark side as Vader eventually.

He tends to get too connected to people, which makes him a danger to others.

Ahsoka, his Padawan, and Padmé, his girlfriend/wife are good examples of this.

Personal connections are forbidden within Jedi.

That never really stopped Anakin from forming close connections, however.

In this concept you are another example of Anakin's emotions driving him.

The friendship between you both is really close.

Your Master was allies and maybe even close friends with his.

As a result you had become well acquainted with Anakin.

While Anakin held romantic feelings for Padmé as a Padawan, he felt he could let loose around you.

Anakin never liked the uptight rules of being a Jedi.

He didn't like it due to many reasons, such as the restrictions on relationships and just... angsty teen reasons.

You two met in your teens and while your Master got along with his, your Master felt Anakin would corrupt you somehow.

You were always warned to not take on Anakin's behavior as your own.

Yet you were more concerned with just relaxing and training with your fellow Padawan.

As with all of his close relationships, Anakin was always very protective over you.

Even during training he didn't entirely like he idea of going all out on you.

Although when you ask for it he relents just so he can say he 'told you so' .

You two share such a strong bond.

Nothing romantic, just one of best friends, maybe even siblings despite you not being related.

Both your Master and his thought your fate with him was intertwined with his...

Yet they dreaded the fact they weren't quite sure how.

Training with Anakin in your Padawan days made you both skilled Jedi.

By the time of the Clone Wars you had matured similar to him.

It surprised you when you learned Anakin had taken in a Padawan, Ahsoka.

You tease him about it sometimes, which causes Anakin to playfully swat at you to stop.

When Ahsoka asks about you Anakin reminisces about your Padawan days with each other and explains you are a friend.

A friend he doesn't think he could live without.

Then there's that fabled day.

The day Anakin got one of the most devastating pieces of news he'd think he'd hear as a Jedi.

You, his closest friend, wanted to leave the Jedi Order.

As the Clone Wars continued on... you decided to rethink your decision.

Your master had passed in battle and you felt a bit alone.

Sure, Anakin was still part of the Order and you could function on your own without your Master... but that wasn't the only issue.

There's reasons and ways a Jedi can quit the Order.

It's not like you can just ask to leave, however.

You are a young Jedi with no wounds that affect your combat ability.

Maybe you had differing beliefs from the Council and Order?

Maybe you had personal connections of your own like Anakin and wanted to leave to pursue those....

Either way you most likely want to go rogue or something and turn your back on your duty.

Something Anakin doesn't approve of, for selfish reasons.

He tries to talk you out of it.

He meets up with you and accuses you.

He admits he loves Padmé to you in private but keeps it secret. If you loved someone too then he suggests doing the same!

He even accuses you of abandoning him.

Does he not matter that much to you!?

He's your best friend! He cares for you!

Yet you want to abandon him your duty?

All of these words are hypocritical and you can sense it.

You two most likely argue heavily, causing your friendship to rift.

In fact, maybe you leaving the order is one of the factors that pushes him to the Dark Side due to his emotions.

He begins to blame you when you leave and go into hiding.

Anakin doesn't understand why you left at first.

Although part of him begins to when he starts giving more and more into the darkness within him.

Anakin may even begin to blame the Council and Order itself for you leaving.

Perhaps even the Republic, too

Ahsoka notices her master has a change in behavior after you left.

He's even more moody than usual.

He's... vulnerable, too.

Ahsoka notices he's trying to be stoic yet feels sad.

Devastated, actually.

Padmé no doubt tries to help Anakin through it.

He's worried for you.

When you were in the Order he was confident he could watch over you.

Now he's sent into a state of constant worry as he can't sense you.

How far out did you go?

After you left the Order you most likely don't meet Anakin for a long time.

He makes it a goal to find you again.

Maybe you meet him when he was still known as Anakin, he can sense you with the Force if he manages to get close to your location.

When he senses you with the Force then he no doubt hunts you down, abandoning any mission he was sent on.

It would be by chance but if he does meet you still as Anakin then he clings to you.

He missed you... he's always missed you.

He wants you to come back with him where he can keep you safe, you refuse.

He doesn't care how long it takes... he's going to try and coax you to stay by him once again.

You're supposed to support each other!

Ever since your Padawan days you've been by his side with a smile.

Why not now?

WHY do you fight him?

Why is he only able to take you with him after he's beaten you in a duel?

Why do you treat him as a monster... he's your friend!

A friend who refuses to leave you alone when you don't wish to be found.

If you had a family of your own there's no doubt Anakin would slaughter them.

He's corrupt and clearly has it in him to kill as he's done so before due to his rage.

After all, your family took you from him.

With them gone, you have no choice but to come with him.

Ahsoka's left horrified when she finds out what he's done.

Anakin doesn't care.

Now it can be just like old times between you.

Then there's if you meet him much later, when he's Vader.

Jedi are his enemy, yet when he meets you all alone...

He remembers you.

He knows you most likely aren't part of any side in this new war, since you left you aren't evil.

He actually praises you for leaving the Republic at least, maybe you knew something he did not?

He doesn't kill you, he spares you.

When you ask why... he says it in the best way he can.

"It's me... Anakin."

No matter how you cross paths again, be it with Anakin or Vader, his goal still stands.

He's found you...

He won't let you ever abandon him again, even if it costs you your life.

[orindas]

ok wait maybe having an epiphany

[midnightlee25]

Yandere Request Page

I’m pretty open when it comes to writing. Keep in mind I only write character x reader. I don't want my work put anywhere by anyone else whether I'm given credit or not. That being said, I do also post on Quotev, Wattpad and AO3 all with the same name that I have here on Tumblr. 

What I will not write:    

Non consensual    

Incest     

And anything else along those lines.    

No character x character (it would only be them working together not going after each other.)  

No OCs x character

What I will write: 

Gore/dark stories (they are yanderes after all.)    

Platonic & romantic relationships. 

 AUs are welcomed and above all please be specific in what category you want it to be in (stories, team ups, headcanons etc.)   

Reader x character 

If you don’t say or if it is unclear what category you want it to be in (stories, team ups, headcanons etc.) it will then turn into the writer's choice.

What I write: 

Stories/ Drabble 

Yandere ABC 

Yandere Profiles   

Mini Profiles

Team-ups 

Reactions 

Random Yandere Headcanons 

Darling/Yandere Says Prompts

A few extra things:

With team ups I will do them with opposite genders.

Although i can't have a limit on characters there's a chance that if there are many characters i will cut it in half. For example, for the  Danganronpa case if the whole case is requested I will split it by writing the boys and girls separately.

I can do mixed posts with characters from different series in the same post.

All series that are below are put in ABC order and in categories in how i am following them plus just of what they are to make it easier to find series. (there is a chance of a series being in more than one category.)

I’m open to trying to write any of the characters in those series.    

This page will update when there are new series or as needed.  

Another thing I should mention is that I don't have a limit on how many characters. I know some have a limit of like 3 to 5 but I'll write whoever is written in the request as best as I can. (This also includes team ups and stories.)  

Series I'm most familiar with (I'm always adding new ones and always open to new ones. I do try to keep everything in ABC order.): 

New series will be in bold for the month.

Anime: 

Akudama Drive

A3

Akame ga kill

Assassination Classroom

Ahiru No Sora

Angels of Death

Attack on Titan

Bungou Stray Dogs

Black Lagoon

Demon Slayer

Death Parade 

Free!

Hetalia

Hellsing 

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Part 1

Kakegurui

Kuroko's basketball

K Project

Pokemon Sun & Moon

Pokemon XY

Run with the wind

Sk8 the infinity

Slam Dunk

The God of High School 

YuYu Hakusho

Manga: 

Alice in the country of hearts

Black Butler

Black Clover

Blue Exorcist

Can't Stop Cursing You

Cells At Work 

Dr. stone

Fire Force

Fruits Basket

Gangsta

Gangsta: Cursed

Golden Kamuy

Haikyuu

Heaven’s design team

My Hero Academia

Mashle: Magic and Muscles

Moriarty the Patriot

Ouran highschool host club

One punch man

Record of Ragnarok 

Servamp

Spy X Family

Sakamoto Days 

The Promised Neverland

The Way Of The House Husband 

Tokyo Revengers   

Animated Series: 

6Teen

Avatar the last airbender

Adventure Time

Danny Phantom

Ever After High

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Futurama 

Gravity Falls 

Hero:108

Invader Zim

Kim Possible

MotorCity

RWBY

Regular Show 

Sym Bionic Titan

Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated 

SpongeBob SquarePants 

Superjail! 

Star vs. the Forces of Evil 

Total Drama

The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Wander Over Yonder

We Bare Bears

Series:

Ash vs Evil Dead    

The Imperfects   

Wizards of Waverly Place

Animated Movies:

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Big Hero 6

Brave (2012)  

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs  

Corpse Bride

Encanto  

Firebreather

Hercules (Disney)  

Home (2015)

How to Train Your Dragon (1, 2 & 3)

Megamind

Monster High (+Show)

Osmosis Jones

Onward

Rise Of The Guardians 

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

The Princess and the Frog  

The Book of Life

Turning Red

Thumbelina

The LEGO Ninjago Movie

The Great Mouse Detective

The LEGO Batman Movie

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Wreck-It Ralph (1 & 2)

Movies:

Avatar (1 & 2)  

Alien

Beetlejuice  (1 &2)

Black Christmas

Candyman

Cabin In The Woods

Friday the 13th

Hocus Pocus (1 & 2)

Halloween

Hatchet

IT (Original & Remake)

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

My Bloody Valentine

Predator

Psycho

Renfield

Sweeney Todd: the demon barber of fleet street

Spawn  

Scream

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

The Boy

The Collector

The Black Phone

Marvel (what I am familiar with): 

Avengers Assemble 

Black Panther (1)

Captain America (1)

Iron Man (1)

Marvel Zombies 

Thor (1)

Ultimate Spider-Man 

What If...?

DC (what I am familiar with): 

Birds of Prey (2020)

Justice League/Unlimited (2003/2004) 

Suicide Squad (movies 2016 & 2021)

Teen Titans (2003) 

Zack Snyder’s Justice League

Games:  

At the dead of night

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Danganronpa 1 

Danganronpa 2 

Danganronpa 3 

 Dachabo

Dead Island 2

Dream Daddy

Dead by Daylight

Error143 

Frost Bite

Hiveswap Friendsim 

Hello Puppets!

Killer Frequency

KinitoPET

John Doe game 

Mad Father

Pokémon Legends: Arceus  

Poppy Playtime

Resident Evil Village 

Resident Evil 3 (REMAKE)

Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack

Sally Face

The Groom of Gallagher Mansion

Web Comics/Web series: 

Creepypasta

Homestuck  

The Mandela Catalogue 

Welcome Home

This page will update when there are new series or as needed. 

  If you have any questions, please let me know.  

Updated: November 5, 2024

[mcrmadness]

This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

[nishinoya-is-baby]

Hello! I am absolute trash and a sucker for clichés, so could I request a long imagine (feel free to make it shorter/longer if you want!) of fake dating with Suga?

Hiii! Thank you so much for the request, it means a lot! I’m really really sorry this came out so late! I have my permit and I’m working towards getting my license so I had to get some driving hours in today! I haven’t been able to drive as much since school started, so I took advantage of my free time today! Rarely will this happen if you request anything, and keep in mind I get your requests out ASAP while still making sure they’re good! After that I had a mandatory family hangout day! Anyway!!! I hope you enjoy! Love you! Pronouns=gender neutral l/i=love interest

“Y/n, please! You still owe me a favor, so you can’t get out of this even if you wanted to!” You ignored Suga’s words as you two walked home together. “No, Suga. Besides, I can choose what I do to make up for the favor I owe you.” “That’s not how that works!” “Yes, it is.” “No!” You guys went back and forth until you asked, “Why do you even want to do this? Why can’t you just talk to l/i? Pretending to date me might just make them lose interest in you!” “You see, my dear y/n, this will only make them want me more! People always want what they can’t have!” Suga explained. After a few minutes of silence, you finally complied. “Fine, but only until you guys start to get close, then we’re “ending” it,” you said. “Yes! You’re a lifesaver! See you tomorrow, my love!” You didn’t even get to respond before Suga ran off towards his house. Normally, you would be fine doing this for Suga, being life long friends and all, but when you realized that you loved him more than a friend a couple of months ago, this whole ordeal seemed like a plot against you. It already sucked enough knowing Suga had his heart set on another person, and now you have to pretend to be his significant other!

Monday came fast, having agreed to the plan on Friday and solidifying all the details of your “relationship” over the weekend.

~Flashback~ You were on the phone with Suga, talking about your plan. “Okay, y/n! You might wanna write this down! I asked you out during movie night and you said yes, obviously. From here on out, we’ll hold hands, give each other gifts, and occasionally give forehead kisses when in front of l/i!” ~End of flashback~

When you met up with Suga at your normal meeting place, he seemed a lot more happy than usual. “Why do you seem so happy,” you ask. “I’m just really excited for this plan to work and to finally be with l/i,” he said, happily. You let out a hum of acknowledgment at what he said and began your walk to school together.

The first couple of weeks were a little strange, to say the least. You guys were awkward, and your movements seemed forced. Of course, other people saw this and thought you two were just shy and getting used to being in a relationship. After a while though, things got better. Your movements and gestures were smooth and didn't seem forced anymore. You guys went on fake dates, hung out as much as possible, and posted the hell out of each other. Even though your fake relationship was doing well, you weren't. You felt so guilty because you were actually enjoying this fake relationship, and you knew Suga’s heart belonged to l/i, not you. As unsurprising as it sounds, you fell harder for Suga each day your plan went on. You were able to feel how perfect he would be as a boyfriend. You were able to feel the warmth he emitted both physically and metaphorically. You were able to feel the affection behind all his soft touches. You were also able to feel the way Suga looked at you instead of l/i in your shared classes and how he talked to them less and less each day that passed.

Two months had passed since you agreed to the plan. You knew he had completely stopped talking to l/i the week prior, and planned on confronting him about it after school. I mean, why would he keep giving you presents, holding your hand, posting you on social media, and softly kissing the top of your head if the plan wasn't needed anymore? The end of the school day finally arrived. When Suga walked up to you, he was surprised to hear you say, “Shouldn’t we end this? It’s clear you and l/i aren’t talking anymore, so why are we still pretending?” There were a few moments of silence before he softly said, “Come with me.” You guys walked off of school campus, past the convenience store you always go to together, past the school where you two met, past the tree where you had your first fight with him. You ended up at the park. The setting sun caused a gorgeous golden glow to drape around the both of you. You found a bench to sit on, and after appreciating the scenery, Suga finally said something. Something that would be the end of your fake relationship. Something you would engrave into your brain. Something that would change your life forever. “Y/n, I love you. Not in a platonic way either. I love you with every part of my being. I thought I loved l/i, but it was you all along. It was always you, and always will be you. I can't even begin to imagine my world without you. I don't want to be your fake boyfriend. I want to be your real boyfriend. Y/n, will you make me the happiest boy alive, and be my girlfriend?”

Thank you for the request! If you'd like me to modify it, feel free to request again with the changes you want, and I'll gladly edit it for you! <3

(854 words)

[discoursecatharsis]

I’ve gotten more than one anon ask from a teenager, paranoid that they’re a pedophile or a predator for crushing on a peer 2-3 years younger than them. Because anti-shippers/fandom purity police constantly use the term “pedophile” for ships between teens 2-3 years apart, it’s no wonder why real teens are confused and terrified. So I wanted to make a post with proper definitions of these terminologies and link to some sources, so that maybe it’ll reassure some other poor teen out there that it’s perfectly fine for them to crush on their schoolmate.

First I’m going to get this out of the way: I’m talking about crushing and dating and having a romantic relationship. Sex between a legal adult (18 and up) and a legal minor (17 and down) could be illegal depending on the age of consent where you live, and any Romeo and Juliet laws that may or may not be in place. That’s way more complicated, so I won’t be touching on teenage relationships where sex is involved. While I’m on this subject though, a quick PSA: if you’re under 18, do not take/send nudes at all. You could be charged with child pornography for “self-producing” your own nudes. As dumb as that sounds, it happens. I don’t agree with courts that do it, punishing hormonal teenagers for having hormones is dumb, but it still happens. It’s not worth it, don’t do it.

One more thing: I’m talking about relationships between peers in the same age group. Between two young adults, adolescents, or teenagers. Note that there is some overlap between these groups (i.e. 15 year old is a teenager and an adolescent but not an adult, while an 18 year old is all three, while a 20 year old is only a young adult). I’m not justifying age gaps that are obviously wrong and illegal, like a 30 year old and a 14 year old, so please do not put words in my mouth.

Moving on to the topic at hand...

---

If the only “concerning” thing about a relationship is a minimal age gap between two peers in the same age group, the relationship is probably okay.

The existence of an age gap alone does not make someone a pedophile or predator or child groomer. Intent needs to involved. Ill intent. Along with other abusive, predatory, manipulative behaviors.

---

Let’s break down some of these terms further:

A pedophile is attracted to prepubescent children. If the younger party in the relationship is not prepubescent, the older person is not a pedophile.

Here is the criteria for being a pedophile, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/pedophilia

If there is less than a 5 year age gap between teens (i.e. a 15 year old and a 19 year old), there is probably not an issue.

If however, for example, an 18 year old is attracted to someone who’s 13 and still prepubescent, there may be an issue there and the older teen should seek help or talk to someone about it. This doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. If they haven’t hurt anyone, they’ve done nothing wrong. It may just be a disorder that they have no control over, so that’s why it’s a good idea to seek help for it.

---

Moving away from “pedophilia” now. What about people who prey on (i.e. are intentionally seeking to harm) teens who are post-pubescent? That person is not a pedophile, but they are a predator or a child groomer.

Which leads to the next point, what are some examples of “ill intent” when it comes to predatory relationships? What exactly is a predator or a child groomer?

This site lists the definition of grooming, along with some red flag behaviors.

https://www.d2l.org/child-grooming-signs-behavior-awareness/

First I want to point out the word “deliberate.” You can’t accidentally groom someone, like I’ve seen multiple fandom police claim. Posting properly tagged and flagged nsfw fanart on a public forum like tumblr or twitter that allows nsfw content is NOT grooming. Grooming is a deliberate act. It involves intent. If an adult is sending private DMs of nsfw sexual fanart to a minor that they KNOW to be a minor, that is completely inappropriate and grooming behavior. Same goes for any nsfw sexual talk, like an adult having a nsfw rp chat with a minor, that’s wrong too. But simply posting/liking/sharing nsfw fandom content on a public website is not grooming.

That link has a longer list of red flag behaviors, along with examples, but here are three I want to especially point out.

A lot of these sites seem to write their info with the focus on young children being groomed, going by the language they use (”child’s natural curiosity”). But teenagers can definitely be groomed also, in the same ways. If an older partner is taking advantage of a vulnerable teen due to an abusive home life, or trying to isolate them from their family and friends, or overstepping any emotional/physical/sexual boundaries, that teen is very likely in a dangerous situation and needs to confide in a trusted friend, and eventually in a trusted adult, about it.

---

I also wanted to share this source as well, just as a general example of other signs of abuse in a relationship. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has a chart that lists common behavior patterns of an abusive, manipulative partner.

https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

This chart uses the example of a male abuser and a female victim, but they have another page and chart for lgbt+ relationships.

As their site says, this can apply to anyone. Age, gender, sexual orientation, it doesn’t matter, anyone is capable of being an abuser or being a victim. Notice how this has similar tactics as the child predator/groomer red flag list too, such as isolation.

Also notice the different manipulative behaviors in this chart. This chart is just a good rule of thumb for red flags in any kind of relationship, be it sexual, romantic, platonic or familial.

Here is another source that lists more red flag behaviors, but more specifically for teenage relationships.

https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/signs-teen-dating-violence/

---

With that in mind, here are some hypothetical scenarios. Let’s use a specific example of a 18 year old high school senior (12th grade) dating a 15 year old high school sophomore (10th grade).

This relationship could be bad if the senior is using the sophomore for their own personal gain. Taking advantage of the fact that the younger person is inexperienced when it comes to dating, and using that fact to manipulate them into a relationship. Maybe the senior isolates the sophomore from their family and friends, makes them feel guilty for wanting to hang out with friends, makes them quit their after-school sports activities or forces them to cancel plans with friends so that they can spend more time together. Maybe the older teen controls how they dress or what they do, or makes them do things that they’re uncomfortable with. All of those are signs of an abusive relationship. If the older teen doesn’t care about the younger teen or about their feelings and is just using them, obviously that is an unhealthy, abusive relationship. (*It’s important to note though, that this exact thing can happen between two people of the same age too. A partner who’s the same age as you can also be controlling and abusive. It can happen with friendships too, it doesn’t have to be limited to dating relationships.)

On the other hand, this senior/sophomore relationship very well could be a perfectly healthy one too. Maybe they are in the same after-school club and bonded through that. Maybe they’ve already known each other and have been friends for years, maybe their families are friends, etc. And they’ve recently started crushing on each other and decided to date. As long as they respect each other, it’s fine.

That’s why you need to know what is going on in a relationship before you judge. An age gap by itself is not proof enough that a relationship is bad or abusive or predatory. One of the partners needs to have ill-intent, and exhibit these abusive red flag behaviors.

---

So to sum up everything, if the ONLY thing in a relationship is that there is an age gap, but both people are otherwise peers and in the same age group/range, and none of the above red flags are present, your relationship is fine and you have nothing to worry about. You know you’re a good person, your partner is a good person, you have family and friends supporting the both of you, you care about and respect each other, then you’re fine.

You’re not a pedophile or a predator or any awful thing like that. Remember, those are deliberate acts and involve ill-intent. Please don’t let fandom police scare you. They’re internet strangers, they know NOTHING about you or your personal life or your relationships or your home life or your upbringing or your family and friends. They’re judging you based solely on the fact that there’s an age gap, and nothing else. They have nothing to go by. They’re not trying to educate others on healthy or unhealthy relationship dynamics. They’re just instilling fear in people to back up their own moral superiority or ship war or whatever tf is driving them to be like That and spread misinformation and make inaccurate generalizations. And they don’t seem to realize or care how dangerous it is that they’re telling teens that they’re predators when they’re not. They don’t care about victims. If they did, they’d be spreading helpful advice, but instead they’re just spreading fear and misinformation. Please stop listening to them. And please for all that is good, don’t take advice from them. Talk to adults in your personal life, if not a parent, then an older cousin or an aunt or uncle or teacher or counselor. Or Google it and find reputable sources for yourself. That is much more reliable than taking advice from people who throw around the word “pedophile” to describe a ship between two teenage anime characters. People need to use common sense and look at relationships on a case-by-case basis. And anti-shippers/fandom purity police are unable to do that.

To fandom police: stop telling teenagers that they’re a predator or pedophile for dating their schoolmate who’s two years younger than them. It’s none of your business, and don’t give me that “but if they’re hurting themselves or others, I need to say something” BS. You’re a stranger, you do not know their personal lives. You know nothing about what is going on except that an age gap is involved, that’s it, and that is not enough to jump to such a drastic conclusion and serious accusation. It’s not your place because you don’t know their life or their situation. Also frankly, it’s damn weird and highly inappropriate for you to be inserting yourselves into the personal lives of some random teenager on the internet that you don’t know (especially if you’re an adult). You think shippers are gross for “being invested in the love lives of fictional teens,” yet here you are trying to control the love lives of real life teens. Please get some perspective.

Edit: Another point I forgot to mention, so I’m tacking this onto the end.

Stop acting like all teens x-years-old are the exactly same as every other teen who is also x-years-old. “I’m 18 and I would NEVER date a 15 year old because they’re practically a baby and I’m such a mature adult already and-” Good for you, you want a cookie? Repeat after me: not everyone is the same as you. One 18 year old might be socially awkward but nice and with no dating experience at all, and would fair well with dating a 15 year old who also is in their first relationship. Another 18 year old might be really responsible for their age due to circumstances in their family life, and are fully capable of handling themselves and dating a 21 year old college classmate. Everyone is different. Two people of different ages may just “click” with each other, they’re on the same wavelength, or they have similar experiences, etc. Just because you personally wouldn’t date someone 2-3 years younger/older than yourself doesn’t mean 1) that it’s wrong, or 2) that others wouldn’t be okay with it for their own personal (and valid) reasons.

Again: it is not your business to interfere with an internet stranger’s personal life and relationships when the only thing you have to go off of is “there’s an age gap.” I’m begging y’all, please look at this with the nuance that it deserves. It is not black-and-white, and your black-and-white thinking is really messing up teenagers and making them feel bad about completely normal and healthy age-appropriate crushes or desires to date someone else.

[socialistsooner420]

that ace recognition post really got to me. and i just want to say in addition to ace inclusion, we really need nb inclusion.

i always feel so weird about being a non binary asexual in a "heteronormative" relationship because i feel like people just assume that im straight and a girl and it drives me nuts. and i see where they can gather assumptions, but to deny it once corrected is absolutely sickening to me.

i dont mind being called a girl, i mean i kinda do, but i stopped caring. my appearance really plays the most into that. ive got long thick hair (havent had a haircut in 7 years) and a fem face, and i do like "girly" aesthetics such as pink/iridescent/pastels, but i cant help what i find visually appealing. just how i cant help that i just dont really care about sex or have a drive for it. and being told that im a "cis girl" because i like "cis girl" aesthetics is SUPER disorienting from people who want to break "gender norms". it feels like if anything, they should be on the side of someone who conforms to no gender and just LIKES THINGS. NBS SHOULD BE THE DANG POSTER CHILDREN FOR DESTROYING GENDER NORMS! we literally just EXIST and LIKE WHAT WE LIKE REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER GENDER SOMETHINGS MARKETED TOWARD!!!!

growing up, when i was a kid, i saw a lot of graphic things i shouldnt have. including a lot of sexual imagery/nudity/sex scenes in movies. it always made me feel uncomfortable and gross. still does to this day!! but the pressures of growing up in a society that normalizes the sexuality of children, i felt like i had to replicate the same things i saw that made me so uncomfortable. i got into terrible situations where i was just goaded into having sexual relations just because the guys i was with didnt believe me and oh my god that "ill make ya change yr sexuality ;)" quote hit me so fucking hard i almost puked, recognizing the exact thing that was quoted to me right down to the fuckin winky face. it churns my stomach knowing i caved into their pressures, simply due to the implications that might happen to me if i didnt. they were usually my ride home, i didnt have a car and would stupidly agree to hang out with someone at their house. how STUPID of me to think that i was coming over for some platonic friend time, why didnt i even consider the fact that all they wanted to do was fucking "touch the untouchable"

when i was 18, i went out with a frat boy. i look back on this relationship with such disgust for so many reasons, but the absolutely sickening thing was when i found out after we broke up, he only dated me on a "dare" from one of his frat bros. the dare? "have sex with the girl who says she's asexual". fucking disgusting.

and to be told by other nb/trans folk that "im just a girl playing pretend" really gets on my nerves. i get it enough from straight people, and its extra disappointing to hear from lgbt+ people who should understand the struggles of having strangers invasively doubt and question your sexual behavior as if its their business. another thing thats no one's business? im a never nude. im uncomfortable with the human form. especially mine. ive always wished that i were just a plastic doll with no genetalia. that plays a BIG part in my asexuality and my non binary identity because, well, DUH, i wish i had no sexual/reproductive organs so i would have a "legitimate reason" to NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX.

ive had people doubt my asexuality simply based on the fact that ive got a "cis" (but also non male conformative) boyfriend, that somehow invalidates my asexuality. it drives me insane. just because im in a happy relationship doesnt mean we gotta fuck?????? i mean it happens but definitely not as much as a "normal" couple does (god that sickens me just to have to imply our relationship is "abnormal).

im a sex-repulsed ace, but as much as my parter respects MY sexuality (not forcing me into sex even though i dont want it) i also respect HIS sexuality and we'll have sex on occasion. and as sex-repulsed as i am, it's tolerable because he's RESPECTFUL because he KNOWS and RESPECTS it.

i cant even count on both hands and feet how many times ive said that im asexual and have heard "oh so u reproduce by yrself?" "oh so youre like a plant" "oh well you'll NEVER find a partner like that" and after being established in this relationship with my fiance, hearing people say "ah so yr not asexual anymore i see!" is sickening. its not like a switch. im asexual. i have 0 interest in sex.

my fiance is a cis male. hes heterosexual but also recognizes that i dont identity as a female. and hes OK WITH THAT!!!!

its just astounding how he is able to understand and respect it, yet so many people try to trash on both aces and nbs, especially from the lgbt+ community themselves, the people that should understand and respect that already.

idk man. rant over that post just really got to me and legit made me cry.

[mssjynx]

BID407, NSFW & 32?

alpha / beta / omega au

basicallyido407 drabble

32. We’re cuddling but I can’t tell if it’s friend-cuddling, or gay-cuddling…

warning: nsfw

There was a very direct line that friends would draw between them. A line that marked the difference between “too far” and “this is fine” when it came to platonic relationships; especially those that crossed second genders.

Marcel had those lines drawn. He had them with Craig, with Evan, with John, Jaren, and Brock. The betas and omegas were cuddle-aholics and he was, unashamedly, one as well. Unlike Tyler or Luke, he was the cuddliest of all the alpha’s. He loved the warmth and the friendliness that came from the messy piles their friends formed during overly-planned movie nights. He loved the scents of simple happiness that seeped from both the betas and the omegas when they decidedly plopped down on his chest or back, curling up like a cat or a dog and claiming his space as theirs.

No matter what, he kept that line.

For everyone. Everyone except Scotty; the beta that wriggled his way into Marcel’s heart about two years after meeting.

That had been a difficult three years ago and Marcel was still harboring a silly little crush on the melodramatic beta. But he refused to let it get in between their friendships, brushing off the lingering stares and consistent touching that they shared between each other more than he did with any other. He ignored the air of difference between them that didn’t hover between him and Evan, or him and Jaren. He ignored how Scott would sit closer, would smile more, would keep those gorgeous blue eyes on him while he laughed, no matter who at or why he was even laughing to begin with.

“Marcel?” A hand waving in front of his eyes brought him back to the present, feeling warmth on his lap and chest. Scott was sat sideways on the couch with his legs thrown over Marcel’s, the alpha’s arms tight around the beta’s waist to keep him close. “You vanished on me for a minute.” The smile on Scott’s face was, as always, beautiful, the beta tilting his head as Marcel’s eyes focused back in on his face. “You good?” he asked, snuggling back into Marcel’s chest after deciding the alpha was back in the present.

The alpha sighed, resting his head back to allow Scott more area to nuzzle against his collarbone. That action enough was something that set their interactions apart from the interactions he had with other betas, or even omegas. The affection stretched over the very blurry line that spanned between “friendly” and “too friendly”.

Yet, like every other time, he didn’t say a word. He just tightened his hold around the betas waist and squeezed out any remaining space between the two of them. The warmth and weight on his lap and against his chest; he couldn’t feel guilty for enjoying the moment. Pressing his cheek to Scott’s temple, he returned his eyes to the screen and held back his pleased purr when Scott’s sigh rolled over his sensitive skin of his neck.

They remained in silence for the rest of the movie, Scott shifting and squirming in a way Marcel had long since grown used to. Scott was always someone who took a lot of time to get comfortable, whether they were sitting or laying down. Marcel had stopped complaining about it to the beta a good two years ago, accepting that it wouldn’t stop the boy’s consistent moving.

“That was so fuckin’ cool,” Marcel muttered, feeling drowsiness wash down his spine as Scott hummed in agreement and snuggled closer. His nose brushed at the crook of Marcel’s nose and the alpha melted into the couch, holding Scott close. The comforting mingling of their scents was enough to almost put him to sleep and he didn’t think about the way he nuzzled his nose into the side of Scott’s head,

An undecided hum rolled from Scott’s throat, pausing Marcel in his descent into slumber.

“Everything okay?” he asked, forcing his eyes open so he could fall back and gaze through the darkness at the beta. Scott took a moment to lift his attention to Marcel, a look of hesitance in his eyes. “Scott?” Marcel probed, squeezing the hit beneath his hand.

It seemed that Scot made up his mind, the beta planting both hands on Marcel’s shoulders so he could brace himself. Then, smooth as anything, he lifted up and swung his leg over Marcel’s lap so he could plant himself on the alpha’s thighs.

Marcel’s brows rose in surprise, but he didn’t move his hands away from the beta’s hips, holding eye contact without a tense muscle in his body. Two feet over that very blurry line; Marcel didn’t give anything but a soft sigh.

“What is this to you?” Scott asked, head tilting. His weight was heavy, dragging himself as closer to make sure there wasn’t a millimeter of space between their pelvises. Marcel couldn’t stop the heat that wound through his veins, unable to ignore the air of something more between them. Scott’s smile was too close to his, his eyes too sharp, his chocolate-smelling breath tickling his mouth.

“Cuddling,” Marcel responded, hoping the darkness hid the way his eyes flickered over Scott’s face. The only light was from the flickering street lamp leaking into the living room through the thin, navy curtin.

The beta linked his arms around the back of Marcel’s neck, squirming closer. “Don’t play stupid, Marcel.”

“Well, what do you want this to be, hm?” he asked, letting his hands slide around from Scott’s hips to his back. There was an air that lingered between them, like gas that would spark with every light of their breaths. With the weight of confidence on his shoulders, he made sure Scott noticed his deliberate look at the beta’s mouth, watching those pretty lips curl in a smile.

Scott swayed closer, a few inches between their mouths, but he rocked back, pulling his lip between teeth. “Do you let anyone else sit on your lap like this?” His words were tentative; unsure and careful.

“Do you think I’d kiss anyone else like this?” Marcel responded, tightening his embrace around the man’s waist before closing the space between them and fitting their mouths together.

Within five seconds, the kiss developed from chaste and sweet to fast and heated. Scott was sucking Marcel’s tongue into his mouth, grazing his teeth over it like he’d been born to drive Marcel crazy. By the way he rutted his hips down against the alpha, Marcel was certain that there was some sort of sexual magic going on.

Marcel was sure he had fallen asleep mid-movie. He had to have been dreaming. Not only was he kissing Scott, but Scott was kissing him back. He was kissing him, touching him, grinding on him; he was all over him and Marcel wanted to make sure, assuming he was blessedly fast asleep, that he never forgot the scent of Dream-Scott’s arousal.

When Scott broke the kiss in a gasp that sounded incredible vivid pressed against the shell of his ear, he didn’t wait to drop his mouth to the beta’s neck. Scott’s pulse bumped against the tip of his nose as the alpha mouthed at the heated skin. He was determined to savour as much of this dream as possible.

Except that he kept being distracted by those nimble fingers, yanking at Marcel’s shirt until it was released by his belt and began falling apart at the buttons. The clink of his buckle sounded before the zip of his fly and a fingernails were slipping down the skin of his naval, brushing through the little snail trail before sliding beneath the elastic of your boxers.

The reality of the scene swallowed Marcel. “Holy fuck, I’m not dreaming,” he moaned, the words falling out of his mouth as cold fingers slid around the base of his cock. Scott’s laughter was a teasing brush of air, teeth sharp when biting gently one the lobe of the alpha’s ear.

“Not a dream,” he said, grinding down and carelessly pinning his hand between the both of them as he whimpered. “I’m done with dreams.” The beta didn’t seem able to stop himself, hips rocking messily as Marcel’s hands drop down to grasp his ass. “I want you- I want you for real, not in my head anymore- Ah, fuck-”

Marcel didn’t wait to push his hand beneath Scott’s pants, hand against his bare ass as he pushed up against him. “This is fast.” He bit the words into the skin of Scott’s shoulder. “Are you sure this is alright?” He moaned as Scott’s hand tightened around him, sliding up to press his thumb against the alpha’s slit.

“Not fast enough,” Scott groaned. “C’mon,”--He withdrew his hand--“you can’t fuck me without lube,” he purred, mouthing at Marcel’s throat when the alpha’s head fell back. The groan was one of pain, his grinding uselessly up against Scott’s until the beta was lifting up off his lap and standing.

“Scott, you can’t just-”

The devilish grin on that gorgeous face was enough to stop his sentence short as Scott caught his hand and tugged. “You can knot me if you want,” he purred, dragging Marcel up to his feet and nipping at Marcel’s bottom lip.

And though it was a struggle to follow Scott all the way upstairs to their bedroom without shoving the beta against a wall and rutting against his ass like a horny teenager, it was all worth it. Worth it when Scott was pinned beneath him. Worth it when he was mewling because of three, slick fingertips pressed to his prostate. Worth it when Marcel’s knot was filling him up in a gloriously pleasurable way.

Worth it when he got to fall asleep with Scott splayed out over his chest and their fingers wound together.

[haledamage]

Character Interview: Liv Ramsey

I wasn’t tagged by anyone this time and I’m not tagging anyone, I just wanted to do the character interview with Olivia :D if you also have a character you want to interview and haven’t been tagged for it, consider this an invitation!

name ➔ Olivia Ramsey. Friends call me Liv. I guess you can, too, if ya want.

are you single ➔ Startin' with the tough questions, huh? (she pauses for a very long moment, toying absentmindedly with what looks like a very expensive sapphire necklace she wears before finally turning a bright smile your way) It's complicated, like really complicated, but… no. I'm not. But if you could keep that between us, I'd appreciate it.

are you happy ➔ most of the time, yeah. Got a good group of close friends, enough money to eat every day, and a job that keeps me on my toes. What more could I ask for?

are you angry ➔ sometimes. Never sticks for long. (she grins, unrepentant and joyful) I’ve got a great anger management secret.

are your parents still married ➔ I don’t know if they ever were. Never met ‘em. Don't even know their names. They died when I was a baby, or they couldn’t keep me, or they didn’t want me, or… whatever. (she shrugs stiffly)

NINE FACTS

birth place ➔ I dunno. New York, I assume, since that’s where I grew up. Lived in Manhattan ‘til I moved out here to Chicago. I miss it, sometimes. The pizza here’s awful.

hair colour ➔ Red, right now. Or did you mean my natural color? ‘Cause that’s my little secret.

eye colour ➔ blue. Ice blue, if you wanna be dramatic about it.

birthday ➔ August 2nd.

mood ➔ pretty chill, right now.

color scheme ➔ I really like shades of red and pink. Black, because it goes with everything, yellow because it really doesn’t.

gender ➔ I mean, gender is a social construct, but I’m female for the most part. Some days more than others.

summer or winter ➔ summer. New York winters are a bitch, and I hear Chicago’s even worse. Good thing I’m not the one that has to drive in it.

morning or afternoon ➔ morning. Best time of day to get shit done is early in the morning or really late at night.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ yep. I was never any good at keepin' it a secret. At least, from most people. I had to beat him over the head with it before he believed me. (she laughs to herself, a clearly besotted smile on her face) He had me at hello, though, he really did.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ If you'd asked me that a few months ago, I'd have said no, but now… yeah. Yeah, I think I do.

who ended your last relationship ➔ I think it was a mutual thing. She was lookin' for one thing and I was lookin' for something else. Sometimes people just aren't meant to fit together. Better to split up than try to force it.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ Sure. (she shrugs one shoulder, completely unbothered by the idea) On both an amateur and a professional level. I'm a con artist, sweetheart. Or I used to be. It comes with the territory.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ nope. I actually have the opposite problem. I sometimes overcommit and throw myself into causes or relationships - platonic or romantic - that aren't worthy of my time or my loyalty. I just… don't like to do things by halves, y'know?

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ yep. Gabriel, definitely. Mouse, probably. Maybe Rook, and I think Anna as well. I like hugs.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ I mean, if it's a secret that means I don't know about it. (she winks) But yeah, I get admirers sometimes. I try to let them down easy. I know it sounds a bit hypocritical with the career I'm in, but I don't like hurting people if I don’t have to.

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ nah. I don't carry the right ammunition for that. Easy to avoid a broken heart if you don't get your hopes up.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ lust, if I have to choose, but they're best when they're together

lemonade or iced tea ➔ iced tea. Or both! They’re also best when they’re together.

cats or dogs ➔ cats. I have a sweet little kitten named Ruby, she's just the best.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ I don't know if I know how to have regular friends anymore. Seems like people only come in two flavors, these days: "acquaintance" and "family." It's an embarrassment of riches, after it bein' just me and Mouse for so long. Now I'm surrounded by people who care about me. It's… well, it's fuckin' weird, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ wild night out. Somewhere that the music's so loud you can feel it in your bones. Or maybe getting into a little trouble with my crew.

day or night ➔ night. The real fun doesn't start until after sunset.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ sure. Didn't stop me, though.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ nope. Almost fell off the side of an 80 story building once. Well, technically it was 100 stories, but I was on the 80th floor. Maybe I shoulda taken the stairs.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ yes (a flash of pain streaks across her face and she stares into the middle distance. it's clear she has no intention of elaborating)

wanted to disappear ➔ sometimes. I'm pretty good at it, if I need to.

been involved in a fight you thought you couldn’t win ➔ there's no such thing as a fight you can't win. Gabriel taught me that. I have literally watched him die and be resuscitated and then get up and keep fighting. It was the most terrifying minute of my life and I never want to see him like that again, but the statement still stands.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ eyes. Considering… well, considering Gabriel and the fact that more often than not, his eyes are the only part of his face that I can see, I've become very fond of them and of just how expressive they can be.

shorter or taller ➔ I'm gonna say shorter. I don't really have a preference one way or the other, but I think a lotta folks say taller and I like being contrary. Also 'cause I wanna have Mouse's back.

intelligence or attraction ➔ I feel like I should say attraction, since I used to make my living off of exploiting it. (she laughs) I do love to surround myself with smart people, though.

hook-up or relationship ➔ relationship. I've tried to do the casual hook-up thing, but I'm not any good at it. I get attached too easy.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ if you mean, like, blood family, I don’t… have any. At all. If you mean my chosen family, yeah, we get along swell.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ I'm a high-ranking member of an angel-themed crime syndicate that's currently at war with the Chicago Mafia and the FBI. What d'you think, sweetheart?

have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Home” is an interesting word, isn’t it? (she smirks like she plans to leave it there, but eventually sighs) Yeah, I’ve run away. From foster homes, from the orphanage. Always got dragged back, until the last time. Maybe they couldn’t find me. Maybe they stopped looking.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ (she laughs) Sure, all the time. Usually after the second time the cops brought me home. No one wants to keep a troublemaker around.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ no. I mean, if you hate them, then they aren’t your friend, are they? And when I hate someone, I don’t tend to keep it a secret.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ yep. I would take a bullet for any of them and I know they’d do the same for me.

who is your best friend ➔ Mouse. Edwyn and I have known each other since high school. He’s always had my back and I’ve always had his. Always will. Though… at this point I guess I gotta mention Rook and Bishop too. Haven’t known ‘em long, but we… fit, y’know? It’s kinda funny, really, since they were tryin’ to kill me the first time we met. Some days, I’m not convinced they still aren’t, just in a really convoluted way.

who knows everything about you ➔ Gabriel. He proved that the very first time we met. He knows more than I do about me, I’m sure of it. He kinda meant it as a threat at the time, but these days it’s comforting. I guess Mouse knows more about me on a personal level, though, at least for now. Gabriel’s got ways of finding things out, but Mouse was there for most of it. So like, Gabriel knows more of the broad strokes, but Edwyn knows more of the little details, I guess? Does that sound stupid?

[boyinthestreet]

a guide to asexuality

another guide? yep, that’s right. i’m tired of asexual characters & people being ignored or treated like dirt - so we’re here to clear up some misconceptions as well as go over terminology & fun facts! hope you enjoy, and feel free to reblog so this can help others.

the myths

let’s start of with some myth busting - hopefully you learn something but remember just because something isn’t true of all asexuals / aromantics, doesn’t mean it isn’t true of some.

myth number 1: asexuality doesn’t exist.

listen, if you believe this you might as well stop reading right now. asexuality definitely exists!

myth number 2: asexual people aren’t interested in romantic relationships

nope! some asexual people experience romantic attraction, some don’t.

myth number 3: asexual people don’t get aroused or masturbate.

incorrect! asexual people can get aroused & masturbate, those sexual feelings just aren’t necessarily directed towards anyone.

myth number 4: asexuality is caused by trauma, mental illness, medication or being on the autism spectrum.

no - while the asexual community is diverse and definitely includes people who have experience trauma or struggle with mental illness, as well as people on the autism spectrum - there is no proof of a link.

myth number 5: you can’t know you’re asexual unless you’ve had sex

is this some twisted version of “you can’t know you’re gay unless you’ve had sex with *insert gender*”? try again.

myth number 6: asexual people just haven’t met the right person yet

if you believe this, you aren’t the right person for anyone who is asexual.

the terminology

abstinence: 

not engaging in partnered sexual activities by choice.

allosexism:

the assumption that being allosexual is the best or only way to be.

allosexual:

a person that experiences sexual attraction.

amatonormativity:

 the social force that treats romantic relationships as intrinsically superior, more valuable, or more necessary than friendships and non-romantic relationships, a problem for everyone, but especially aromantic people.

ace spectrum:

the grouping of asexual, grey-ace & demisexual identities under a single umbrella of related sexualities. 

aesthic attraction:

a non-romantic, non-sexual attraction to how someone looks - often described as admiring someone like a painting.

arousal:

being “turned on” usually accompanied by a physical genital response

asexy

a word to describe things / people that are attractive in a non-sexual way

black ring:

when worn on the middle finger of the right hand, a black ring can be an indicator that someone is asexual.

celibacy:

not participating in partnered sexual activity, not always due to personal choice.

compulsory sexuality:

the cultural force that expects people to be either sexually available or in a sexual relationship & which expects sex to be an important goal for people. heterosexuality is especially valued.

libido: 

also known as “sex drive”, a libido may cause arousal & desire to partake in sexual ( but not necessarily partnered ) sexual activities.

libidoist: 

a person who has a libido.

limerence:

strong feelings of attraction, can be platonic / romantic / sexual in nature. characterized by joy, nervousness, obsessive thoughts & desire of approval from the target of interest.

mixed orientation identity:

any combination of sexual orientation & romantic orientation that don’t “match up”.

non-libidoist:

a person who doesn’t have a libido.

primary attraction:

attraction felt upon first meeting someone.

queerplatonic:

love, attraction or interest that isn’t entirely platonic but not easily categorized as romantic or an emotional connection that is ambiguous in nature.

romantic attraction:

a sense of “i would like to be in a romantic relationship with that person”

secondary attraction:

attraction that only develops after knowing people personally for an extended period of time.

sensual attraction:

a sense of “i would like to engage in non-sexual physical activity with that person”

sex-averse: 

used as a synonym for sex-repulsed, however some people may be averse to sex without being repulsed by it.

sex-indifferent:

willingness to participate in or avoid sexual activity; not actively discomforted by the idea.

six-repulsed: 

not wanting to participate in sexual activity often due to disgust, annoyance or discomfort with it. sex-repulsed people can still be sex positive and support sexual freedom for other people.

sexual attraction

a sense of “i would like to engage in sexual activity with that person”

squish:

the platonic or non-romantic version of a crush.

zucchini

casual or humorous term for a queerplatonic partner.

identities:

these are the identities that i was able to find clear definitions for in my research, if you know of others shoot me a message!

aceflux:

how asexual you feel fluctuates, sometimes you may feel sex-repulsed & others you may not mind the idea of sex.

asexual:

a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

aroflux:

how aromantic you feel fluctuates.

aromantic:

a person who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

autosexual:

a term for someone who gains sexual pleasure mostly from themselves rather than from attraction to others.

biromantic:

a person who experiences romantic attraction to two or more genders, alternatively may be defined as experience to the same and different genders.

demiromantic:

only experiences romantic attraction to those they have a close emotional bond with.

demisexual:

only experiences sexual attraction to those they have a close emotional bond with.

gray-asexual:

someone who is not 100% asexual, but not allosexual either - may only experience sexual attraction on occassion, may not desire sexual relationships or may experience a feeling between platonic & sexual attraction.

gray-romantic:

someone who is not 100% aromantic, but not romantic either - may only experience romantic attraction on occassion, may not desire romantic relationships or may experience a feeling between platonic & romantic attraction.

heteroromantic:

feeling romantic attraction to people of a different gender than one’s own.

lithromantic:

someone who experiences romantic attraction but doesn’t want their feelings reciprocated or doesn’t like romantic gestures.

lithsexual / lithosexual:

someone who experiences sexual attraction but doesn’t want their feelings reciprocated or doesn’t like engaging in sexual intimacy.

panromantic:

someone who experiences romantic attraction to people of all genders.

quoiromantic:

a person who finds romantic feelings confusing, or who can’t perceive a difference between platonic and romantic feelings. also known as wtfromantic.

things to avoid when writing asexual characters

writing a character has having no social skills - or not being able to get a significant other despite desire to, is NOT the same as writing an asexual or aromantic character.

be mindful of the fact that unless the character is sex-repulsed or sex-averse, they may be willing to compromise to meet their partner’s needs, however they should not stay in a relationship where they feel forced to always compromise.

it is not always a matter of ‘meeting the right person’ depending on the character they might be quite content maintaining platonic relationships without ever looking for romantic / sexual relationships

understand that for many asexual people there is a struggle when their friends begin to “partner off” and focus on building platonic bonds that won’t be ignored in favour of romantic relationships.

not all asexuals are assigned female at birth! write assigned male at birth asexuals. 

[yanderes-galore]

Oooh yandere platonic Moana vs yandere romantic Gaston concept/hcs with a reader who can control the weather please. 

I decided to keep this mostly general for the sake of plot... it's just easier plot-wise, my apologies 😔 Also, I stopped playing before Moana was released so I hope I get things right. Not proofread, sorry for mistakes and length!

Yandere! Platonic! Moana vs Yandere! Romantic! Gaston

Pairing: Platonic (Moana)/Romantic (Gaston) - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Flirting, Violence, Manipulation, Jealousy, Dubious/Forced companionship and relationship themes.

Moana is said to be a natural leader and guide for her team of guardians.

She's able to see the weak points of her enemies and guides her fellow guardians to it.

We can assume Moana keeps her personality from her movie.

She's strong willed and fearless.

In this concept she's your best friend, a fellow guardian who works with you to take down Fractured.

You're a guardian who can use elemental attacks/control the weather to benefit your team.

Then there's Gaston, another guardian who frequents your team along with Moana in this case.

Gaston is an arrogant and ruthless hunter despite being a guardian

He boasts about being an expert marksman and tracker.

Honestly, he gets on the nerves of the two of you, but he's a valuable part of your team.

As a result you tolerate him.

Moana, however, has never really liked him.

The two are from very different universes.

Not only that, but the two are attached to you in their own way.

They've grown attached to you due to you three being teamed together many times.

Others thought you all worked well together.

For the most part, yes, you did.

That was until personal relationships began getting in the way.

Moana grew attached to you like an overprotective friend.

Taking on a leadership role in the group, she feels responsible for your safety due to being your friend and a leader.

Gaston's attachment is much less platonic.

Gaston, the arrogant man he is, is incredibly flirtatious towards you.

He sees you as a romantic partner he must court.

After all... he's the best in the land!

You could need no other!

As a result there is times your team can become dysfunctional due to Moana and Gaston not getting along.

Moana really is trying to keep the team together while also defending you.

She doesn't think you need a man like Gaston.

You could probably do so much better... in fact, she feels you deserve better.

As a result she tries to prevent Gaston's flirting attempts.

You're never alone with Gaston, Moana is always lurking right there.

Meanwhile Gaston is showing evident frustration at the fact your friend is so defensive.

What does she think she's doing?

Is she trying to sabotage him?

Knowing Gaston, he isn't going to let that slide.

Which leads to your team falling apart.

While your team had synergy before with Moana pointing out weak spots and Gaston effortlessly sniping them while you supply weather support... now they do nothing but fight.

Unbeknownst to them they are driving you away from them.

While Moana feels she is protecting her friend and Gaston feels he is winning you over... they are doing neither.

Instead they are driving you out of the team.

However, any attempt to leave is quickly snuffed out.

Moana is quick to tell you she can make things work.

Gaston is also quick to say he'll "behave" around you if it means you'll stay.

It's a constant set of push and pull factors.

They promise to do better right before driving you away again.

You feel really trapped with them.

Moana tries to offer you the comforting words of a friend.

She hugs you and sings praises for you.

However, Gaston feels he has to do better than Moana to comfort you.

Gaston nearly smothers you in praise and affection when you show negative emotion.

Wants gifts? He's gotten some from his hunts.

Hugs? His are so much better than Moana's... bonecrushing, even.

The two do everything they can to prevent you from leaving but still blame each other for your feelings in the first place.

You can try sneaking off but the two watch you like hawks.

You aren't going anywhere without at least one of them pouncing on the opportunity.

The overall dynamic is definitely "Overprotective best friend protecting her friend from overly flirty/sketchy guy."

They both probably mean well with you, mostly Moana, but it doesn't come off that way.

Slowly your freedom is constricted by the two.

You loathe their fighting but it's all you ever see.

You're stuck.

It doesn't help that their fights begin to show physical signs as time goes on.

At some point... someone will snap...

You just have no idea who will do it first.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Emotional abuse in platonic relationships (long)

My tumblr is usually my escapism fun zone, but it’s time for a quick serious talk.

I've been in a few emotionally abusive platonic relationships and was always frustrated that nearly every help article I read online was written primarily for cis women in a hetero, romantic relationship. Most guides talked about physical violence, sex, and a whole slew of other circumstances I did not experience.

Unfortunately, emotional abusive is not limited just to romantic relationships. Platonic relationships, especially long-term or otherwise intense ones (for example, those that spawn in fandom and minority spaces), can be just as difficult to recognize, confront, and escape.

I thought it might be helpful to outline patterns of abuse I have experienced in a platonic relationship with someone of the same gender. These abuse tactics are forms of control and most are intended to isolate and break down the victim. While it’s easy to write off behaviors individually, together, they form destructive and very deliberate patterns.

More below the cut. I’ve sat on this article for about 3 years to help distance myself from these bad friendships and make sure it wasn’t just me lashing out in the moment. Some of this content may be triggering for emotional and sexual abuse and transphobia.

Note: I'm writing this from the perspective of a trans man. These examples and quotes (some paraphrased) are real things told to me by various abusers. While the examples are very specific to me in some cases, the overall behavior is not.

1. Abusers carefully monitor and audit their victim's activity. Abusers constantly inject themselves into their victim's life and interrogate their victim when they're not included in something. 

Examples:

·         "I saw you check-in at the movies last night, why didn't you invite me?"

·         "I can't believe you took your mom to the new restaurant I've been wanting to go to."

·         "You never invite me to events with your grade school friends when they are in town."

2.  Abusers follow their victims into places they'd otherwise not have an interest, in order to stalk and exert control. Example:

·         Be wary of abusers who only start using social media when you do, especially if they only follow you and primarily vague-blog criticism and threats

3.  Abusers criticize their victim for not being supportive enough, even when the victim is actively supporting them. Example:

·         ::while hanging out together:: "You never hang out with me."

4.  Abusers constantly keep score... but only when it's in their favor. Example:

·         When I was unemployed and he was taking home more in a week than I could scrape together in a few months: “You should buy me this more expensive birthday present because you owe for me gas to the movies from a few months ago."

5.  Abusers use personal information to engage in social currency pissing matches and even blackmail. Examples:

·         "Oh, you're X's friend, too? [Let me tell you some in-jokes that embarrass my victim friend or establish I’m the superior friend due to having a long history.]”

·         "You wouldn't be where you are today if I wasn't the first person you came out to."

·         “You wouldn’t be so successful if I hadn’t introduced you to Y.”

6.  Abusers isolate their victims from work, friends, and family. Abusers consistently criticize their victim's family and friends. They focus on demonizing people/entities, rather than behaviors. Examples:

·         "I hate your job." vs "I hate when your work schedule interferes with our plans."

·         "I hate your friends." vs "I hate when your friends are pessimistic about this game."

7. Abusers are quick to demonize former relationships as a way of confirming their friendship is the superior one. Examples:

·         "Your ex was such a stupid bitch."

·         "I'm glad you don't hang out with those moochers anymore."   

8. When abusers can't isolate their victim from their friends/family, they use friends/family as leverage. Examples:

·         “Are you sure you can’t go to this event with me? Let me ask your partner.”

·         “Don’t tell me I can’t afford this, your mom can just loan me some money.”

9.  Abusers consider everything an immutable promise to set you up for failure. Examples

·         "You promised we'd see a movie at 7pm, I don't care that there's an emergency at your office, you’re a terrible friend for not hanging out with me."

10.   Abusers are hypocrites, especially when it comes to standards of friendship. Example:

·         "Respect is the most important thing to me..." :: consistently uses sexist language when asked not to::

11.   Abusers reduce every conflict to being about them and put their needs first. Example:

·         "I can't believe you'd spring on me that your partner is bigender."

12. Abusers treat your ability to care about something/one as a finite resource to be competed over. Example:

"You care more about [online trans friend who has been feeling suicidal] than you care about me."

12.   Abusers claim their victim's passions for their own as another stalking/control tactic and way to ignore seeing their victim as an actualized person with diverse interests/needs. Examples:

·         "That's really great fan art you drew, is it for me?

·         "Your cosplay is awesome, where's my costume?"

·         I've had a few abusers write really awkward self-insert fanfics that played out like fandom bingo in an attempt to garner my favor.

13.   Abusers will often try to mimic their victim's successes, but only in a superficial way and will blame the victim for their failures. Examples:

·         "I started a blog, but no one is following me because you're not promoting my posts enough."

·         "You told me to keep drawing, but still no one likes my art. It's all your fault."

14.   Abusers turn their victim's passions against them. Abusers ridicule their victim's interests, beliefs, etc. Examples:

·         "It isn't fair you're so talented. I'm totally worthless compared to you."

·         "I've lost you and everything I cared about to a mediocre movie (that you love so much)."

·         "SJWs and trans-trenders stole you away from me."

·         "You're always so angry about trans stuff, I want the old (depressed, submissive) you back."

15.   Abusers interfere with their victim’s work/school/sleep to keep them off-guard. Examples:

·         :: numerous texts demanding an immediate reply during a busy work day or on a commute::

·         :: threats at 3am ::

16.   Abusers forcefully involve victims in their plans and control their schedule without warning. Examples:

·         There was a period of time in which I didn't drive much do to being poor, and an abuser took advantage of that to force me into going to places to watch him buy things for an hour or more before dropping me off at home.

·         Another abuser would just start following me at conventions, into panels, vendor rooms, sit down at lunch, etc.

17.   Abusers pressure victims to make decisions that are financially and/or otherwise harmful to their victim. Example:

·         “Buy this $300 wargaming army so we can finally do fun stuff together.”

(I was spending hundreds of dollars a month I couldn't afford trying to keep up with my abuser's frequently changing interests, all of which were framed as critical to maintaining our friendship.)

18.   Abusers minimize or ridicule their victim’s problems, especially when compared to their own.

Examples:

·         "Moving my birthday party to tomorrow is just as bad as when someone misgenders you."

·         “I can’t believe you’re skipping out on hanging with me this weekend.”

(Said when I was finally confronting my hoarding problem and had been up for 24+ hours doing an aggressive cleanout.)

19.   Abusers make their victims doubt their self-worth. Example:

·         "Your blog is just whoring for attention. You're such a narcissist." (said while I was finally starting to like my body as a trans person)

20.   Abusers gaslight and misrepresent events in order to cast doubt on your memory & concerns. Example:

·         "That never happened that way. Once again, I'm always right."

21.   Abusers are unpredictable with their praise and criticism, which makes the victim further question themselves.

22.   Abusers constantly demand positive reinforcement, often publicly. Example:

·         "Tell me why you're still friends with me."

·         "Name one good thing about me."

·         “You didn’t credit that I took that photo you posted on Tumblr, don’t you care about me? Go edit your post now.”

23.   Abusers make their victim feel they are responsible for the abuser's well-being. Abusers turn their victim into a commodity. Examples:

·         "My life would fall apart without you." ·        ”I need my BFF time!”

·         "You don’t care about me. I'm going to kill myself."

(Note: I take suicide threats seriously and it’s outside the scope of this article to discuss self-harm threats as abuse tactics vs mental illness.)

24.   Abusers publicly (and often threateningly) communicate in a way that is obscure to everyone... but sends a very clear message to you. Examples:

·         "I hate birds. Especially crows." (My partner's goes by the name Crow.)

·        ::flood of memes on Facebook about “real friends” after a fight::

25.   Abusers only apologize to make themselves feel better. Example:

·         "If I apologize, will you stop being mad at me?" vs "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

26.   Abusers rationalize specific instances of abuse to deflect from overall abusive patterns. Examples:

·         "I'm just really stressed right now, you know that work is killing me."

·         :: various co-opting the language of social justice & concern-trolling ::

27.   Abusers blame their victims for their abuse. Examples:

·         "I wouldn't have screamed at you in public if you hadn't made me so angry!"

·         "I was just joking, you're too sensitive."

28.   Abusers place their relationship above all others. Examples:

·         "I can't believe you extended your (first) date instead of hanging out with me."

·         “Why did you go out to dinner with your mom instead of hanging out with me?”

29.   Abusers set unrealistic expectations of how much you should interact. Example:

·         One of mine would get demanding if we didn't text every few hours, hang out virtually several hours each evening, and in-person every weekend.

30.   Abusers state they'll do anything for their victim, but never deliver on this promise, often berating their victim for even asking for help. Example:

·         "I'd do anything for you...", followed by, "... I can't believe you asked me to help you move"

31.   Abusers often make an effort to be charming and even caring in public. This makes the victim feel like they're the only ones suffering abuse, and thus, it must be their fault.

32.   Abusers pretend to reform, but it's mainly a tactic to shut down further criticism. Example:

·         "You're right, I'm a terrible person. I promise I'll change. Can we talk about something else now?"

33.   Abusers demand their victims be complicit in their abuse by redefining the nature of friendship and pressuring their victim to not question the abuse. Examples:

·         "A real friend would never criticize me." ·         "A real friend would agree with everything I do.”

34.   Abusers spend more and more of their time with their victim discussing their failings as a friend. Example:

·         “I told [mutual friend] about what you’ve been doing and she agrees with me that you’re a horrible friend.”

35. Abusers want you to swear allegiance to them, especially very early in a relationship. Example: ·         “Let’s get matching BFF tattoos.”

36. Abusers frame conversations they haven’t been invited to as talking/plotting behind their backs. Example:

·         In response to a side chat in which my grade school friends & I talked about family updates, etc: “I can’t believe you set up your own private chat without me. Traitor.”

37. Abusers constantly define and redefine their victim’s identity. Examples: ·        ”Trans men who want [x] shouldn’t consider themselves men.” ·       ”You are the ‘best of both worlds’” (A gross allusion to my transness and a prelude to later telling me he wanted to fuck me.)

38. Abusers police their victim’s appearance, even if it is harmful. Example: ·      “I don’t want you starting hormones. I want you to stay the way you are.”

39.  Abusers use call-outs as excuses for even more abuse and blame victims for feeling victimized. Examples:

·         “When you talk about this with other people, it makes me feel bad, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

·         Abusers I’ve left instantly reacted with rage that made me feel unsafe.

40. Abusers feign concern as segues into making demands. Example: ·      “Are you OK after the hurricane? Btw, I saw your latest cosplay photos, how about we coordinate a new cosplay for me?”

Not all abusers use all of these tactics, and a behavior in and of itself does not necessarily mean someone is an abuser. It’s especially difficult to identify abuse if you and/or your abuser is disadvantaged, have a mental illness, etc. The key is to recognize a consistent pattern of abuse.

Platonic abuse has serious consequences: Stress, depression, anxiety… it can cause physical health problems, financial disaster, and destroy healthy relationships.

Even when you escape, you may spend years recovering and unlearning coping behaviors originally developed to minimize/deflect abuse. In my case, I got into the habit of lying about my plans because I didn't want to be read the riot act that I hadn't invited my abuser to something intimate, like a mother's day dinner or a date. So now, my current gut reaction when asked where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing, what I’ve bought is to *lie* or shut down, and I HATE IT.

But, I'm happy that I've been learning how to identify and distance myself from toxic people. Unpacking my personal abuse is a slow, often painful process, but I hope it helps folks who have found themselves in similar relationships.

Platonic abuse is real and we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it.

[theticklishpear]

I wanted to say that I love the posts you made about writing about siblings! Most of all when it comes to same gender siblings, very often in fiction I see the siblings having issues with each other or not getting along. Or the sibling is mostly absent during the story. I would love to see more of siblings being super close, I know some sets of sisters in my life who are super close like they are friends, and it is lovely to watchh. Why do authors tend to avoid close sibling relationships?

Thank you for your kind words! Siblings in stories are a huge passion for me, and close siblings in particular are relationships I want to see in more stories.

Unfortunately, the problem doesn’t stem from avoiding just close siblings but from avoiding close family as a whole. I don’t have any studies or papers examining the idea, no statistics I can report; what I do have are guesses based on observations and conversations with other writers about why they’re writing what they’re writing.

Myth: Main characters must have tragic backstories to be interesting.Somehow, the idea that in order for a character to be interesting, their backstory has to be tragic has become an integral part to story-telling. Taking it one step further has been the growing idea that tragic = the loss of a person or persons close to them, and who closer than family? Family is an oasis of people who know where a character comes from and theoretically are hoping for the best for them. They’re the people who are supposed to accept a character entirely and are obligated to always love them. That loss writers are looking to capitalize on may be death, but it could also be those individuals rejecting the character, shredding that expectation of love. Having encountered plenty of folks in their own lives and others for whom those tenants and core qualities of family haven’t held up and the pain that comes from that, writers’ first thought when seeking out a tragic backstory often land in the alienation from or destruction of the character’s family. Destroying what may have been something happy for them creates tension and tragedy from which a character may find their drive for the story or send them to a state of being from which the writer wants to watch them grow. More to the point is that by destroying the family, the character’s background all of a sudden has a better ability to become fraught with mystery, the best, fastest way to make a character interesting.

What writers don’t take into account:Writers must evaluate why they think their character has to have a tragic backstory. If it’s an interesting character they’re looking for–someone compelling that the audience is interested in getting to know–there are better, more compelling ways to do it than by destroying their family. If that’s is how a writer has chosen to hide the Family Secrets™, they perhaps need to rethink why that trope specifically is what their story hinges on and not on a thousand more believable reasons for the knowledge to be inaccessible. More importantly, writers must begin to realize that their character can still be tragic while retaining their family. Just because they’re close with their siblings doesn’t mean that the tragic thing that happened is negated by the joy they get out of being with, talking with, or in general interacting with their sibling. In fact, it might be an excellent relationship to use as a vehicle for the character’s growth.

Myth: Family members hold main characters back from their adventures.Family is often thought of as this immovable stake in the ground of time and place. They are the constant in a character’s life, a place and people they can return to. They are the refuge, but also the people who have the character’s safety at heart. They’re more likely to ask characters not to go (for a variety of reasons including that the family needs their help at home, the family doesn’t want them to die, the family disagrees with the endeavor, etc.). Writers feel like if the character were close to their family, they might not actually get to participate in the story the writer has planned because they’d never leave those people behind or the family would never let them leave.

Additionally, family as a main character’s greatest weakness is absurdly common. They are the ones to be abducted or killed first by those looking to lure a character somewhere or inflict the most pain on a character or force a character to step their game up a notch. Because of this, writers remove family before the fray even happens, intending to strengthen their characters in the process and make them immovable themselves, unable to be coerced.

What writers don’t take into account:Family doesn’t have to mean helpless. Give your familial characters some agency! Writing close siblings will actually give a character a huge strength in that they always know they have someone who has their back. If they let their sibling in on what’s going on and what they’re struggling with, that sibling has an opportunity to help. The idea that a character’s adventure and struggles must be kept secret from their family has fed into this–the “I don’t want to make them worry,” conundrum. It’s another situation that writers need to examine about their story and find out what’s stopping them from writing in these characters. If the answer is ever “because it’s easier,” the writer has a problem.

Myth: The power of friendship is not the same as the power of siblings.The power of friendship and love triumphing over the powers of evil and hatred is a theme nearly every story perpetuates, whether the writer intends to or not. In the same way that humans create categories and hierarchies of what’s more important or more worthy, they’ve also managed to create the idea that the relationship between friends and the relationship between siblings doesn’t hold the same amount or type of power. Love conquers all, right? But familial love doesn’t count because it’s a requirement between family members–it comes with being family. It’s not as authentic or impressive or whatever as love grown between unrelated individuals (whether platonic or romantic) because it’s perceived as being a “gimme,” something they don’t have to work for.

What writers don’t take into account:I’m not sure writers have really, and I mean really, evaluated how hard it is to maintain a relationship with one’s siblings, let alone keeping it a good one. Seriously. When you’re growing up, you see each other all the time! You know what bothers them, and it’s actually mildly amusing to push those buttons and see them struggle with the reaction they want to have and the one they’re allowed to have because you’re family. You see each other succeed and do absolutely amazing things; you see what each other is capable of, but you also see them mess up and it’s easier to hold the grudge against them for it because they should have known better. As we become adults and move out on our own, ideas about what’s right and okay are expanded past what the family rules were, but those rules still linger and tinge our perceptions, even of each other, and maybe a style of living a sibling has grates on your nerves because that’s not how we were raised or whatever. Our schedules become so full that communication falls by the wayside and suddenly, five years down the line, you realize that this person you used to talk to all the time is a total stranger. Keeping that love and affection between siblings is hard work and it should never ever, ever be taken for granted. Unfortunately, it is. All the time.

Myth: Close siblings don’t have conflict and are therefore uninteresting.Story is conflict, right? Events are happening that characters have to deal with, people with different ideas about right and wrong are blocking the way, friends are making dumb decisions, and family has chosen to never own up to the problem that runs in their veins. Writers have come under the assumption that close relationships that are healthy and benefit both characters can’t contribute to or create conflict and therefore are dead weight in the story. And no dead weight can survive to the final draft.

What writers don’t take into account:Who says people in close relationships can’t have conflict? Who says siblings who love and support each other can’t support each other right into a bad plan? Who says close siblings can’t make dumb decisions? These are two separate characters who happen to have grown up together, which also means that while they can love and support each other, they can also see the flaws and dangerous leaps of logic they each make more easily than other people. They have plenty to contribute to conflict, including coming into conflict with each other. “Close” does not mean “perfect relationship.”

I’m sure there are other reasons, too, such as not having any experience and therefore not really thinking about it or not feeling confident in portraying that kind of relationship with accuracy. I think the biggest thing writers need to do is ask themselves why they think they couldn’t have a sibling in their story and evaluate their own reasons to see what’s holding them back. Understanding our excuses can help us better address them and face new challenges head on.

I hope this has given you some insight into the issue, Anon. Good luck! -Pear

[valgee]

416 Cigarettes

I walked out of that job; the second job I’ve flat fuckin walked away from because a corporate promotion was a way to get paid more to do more to get paid less to still do more. This aligned causally with an actual factual divorce, my own, I was spiraling down the familiar avenues of self-destruction and loathing in Las Vivas. 

I found inspiration in an old flame. She messaged me sweet music and abruptly left the conversation when I hollowly expounded on my future plans to move away with my spouse. The declaration felt empty; I realized that she in my shoes wouldn’t continue to be unhappy. That was the genesis of my resolve.

My grandmother was in the hospital again; my dad made it sound quite dire. I resolved to visit and then never return home once I was on the open road. Ocean Springs had become a broiling cesspot of bad emotions and confusion infused negativity. The literal plan was to drive forever, see every friend on the planet, run out of gas, and fling myself off the nearest bridge. What actually happened was 20 days of pure unadulterated traveling and freedom, 65 hours of road time, and 4,242 more lodged into my personal mileage.

The first stop was Obligation, I visited my ailing grandma who was more assailed by a macabre atmosphere centered around her inevitable death that she would prefer not to be constantly reminded of. It was my between my father and my Aunt Mae to take care of her, as her third and youngest child had eschewed responsibility in the wake of my grandfather’s death, who had been paying her to take care of grandma and “When mama dies, that’s when we’ll get the real money.” The iceberg of disgust was rearing from an ocean of contempt when my cousin and Aunt Mae addressed me sincere, for the first time, about my relationship with my father, or the lack thereof. In my two decades of visiting there, it had never been explicitly stated by any member of the family, at least not direct to me or my sister, about how my father had fought in court for partial custody, two weeks every summer, except we went for two months because it was a full half of our family. My sister and I never saw our dad during those two months, save for a few days at the beginning and end. Vindication was the sensation of Obligation, a rider to the discomfort so fine; we were all discovering the darker natures of each other amidst the cloud of deaths future and past. I found mine in a father estranged yet so much like myself, I don’t want to be him, I don’t want to become him. I was an excuse to escape his own Obligation, time spent with offspring was a rare chance. The irony was lost on him, that it was so rare of his own volition, and now sought rabidly as a superior solution to fomenting his mother’s wasting away with his candid appeals to activity that she sloughed off for the dishonesty it was. I sloughed off him, too, and escaped to my next destination after a terse visit.

I ran out of gas in Ohio. I trekked a mile to the nearest gas station that did not sell gas cans. In the adjoining Subway, in the bathroom, I made a friend who only came there to piss, as he told me, and I, too, came there to piss, but also pick grass out of my socks, accrued from the highwayside walkabout. As I set out to the next gas station, the bathroom man offered me a ride, promising me he had nothing but time. I acquired my can, I acquired my gas and he extended his offer  to drive me to my car. On the ride over, he told me his entire fuckin life story. He was a drug dealer from the podunk town in Ohio I was now in, he’d gone to Miama (Ohio) one weekend and come back with a kid, can you fuckin believe it, my baby mama only ever calls to fight or fuck and my girlfriend, who I’m livin with, hates that, you know? But Iunno, I’ll go over there and lay a line of coke down and she’ll, like, bend over, and rip it and back that ass up, she’s got a nice ass, you know? My girlfriend does, too, they got nice asses, Iunno. See, I like you, I can tell you anything and you don’t know shit, you don’t fuckin know anyone.

The second stop was Liberation, my dear friends Parla and Kelly in the Windy city I love. I rediscovered my Air element in the playful streets and inviting sunshine; this would be the last time I brought nice weather with me. I found Parla in a trend of bashful but passionate feminism but I was not yet shook of my tangled brain to connect with her genuinely, but I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to qualify her validity to me, to me. She taught me macrame on a heated roof, we let strings dance in the wind. We laughed together in sopored stupor. I met her downstairs convenience bang, he brought me to his brazilian jujitsu class and I flattened myself for the experience. At first, he seemed threatened by me; he couldn’t fathom a masculine presenting presence having a dual platonic relationship with two attractive feminine presenting entities. He thought I had to banging one of ‘em. I couldn’t just be being friends. But we do. We are. I love them. We broed out with the irony lost on him; I struggle to relate my newfound gender identity to new people. I struggle to relate it to old friends who knew me before I knew me, but I felt as accepted as I ever was with them. Kelly came to me, drunker than she’d ever been, and cried in my lap. I wasn’t sure why she was upset, she couldn’t seem to articulate it or anything else, but I helped her into bed, glad I could be there for her. I may have overstayed my welcome, squatting in the daybed for a week, but I love that city. I reconnected with Roni and they gave me my highest highs, and my lowest lows, journeying to the highrise dance parties, and the basement bar belows. I left Chicago only with the promise of my closest friend to see next, my Water.

The third stop was Reconfiguration, I reconvened with the squidlord, TJ, and he opened his home to me fully and I could feel my soul reaching exponential bouts of healing here. I walked the streets of Perkasie, Pennsylvania, and garnered strange looks for my queer appearance. I got lost but I enjoyed it. He played hooky and took me to NYC where we see the Times Square, we Tai Chi in Central Park, and he misses his girlfriend’s texts. I am reminded of the spouse I left and the passive aggression for my identical transgressions. I ate street food, I poured out my entire romantic history to him as he strummed his ukelele. I didn’t mean to keep it so secret; our time together in college lent to a dual lifestyle: romantic and social were separate. I don’t know that he understands more now, but he knows more now; water struggles to perfectly reflect the shape and source of fire. Since the beginning of my trip, I had struggled with my break-up. In Chicago I had made peace, in Perkasie I found it. TJ, ever the empath, skirted the topic of suicide, and renewed his disdain for the exit. We listened to Listener, their newer work topical. I wanted him to reinvite me to live with him, but he didn’t. I left for my next destination, between NC and Chicago, my oldest internet friends implored me to visit, and given the week between opportunities to link up, I had gone to Perkasie. So, I carted off to Fort Wayne, Indiana.

My fourth destination was Sublimation, the subtlety, the transcendent, the phase change. I showed up late, and was greeted with first a soft intensity inside eyes. I descended into their basement and ensconced my weird ass in their wonderful family. Soothing cold fingers lightly brushed my heated skin as I imbibed the alcohol I’m super allergic to, to catch up with everyone else. I remember dancing, I remember thinking to be careful and respectful, she has a boyfriend, I remember dancing close enough to nudge once accidentally, and every subsequent wanton nudge was frivolously shameless. I don’t remember what happened next. I woke up, still drunk, and naked, in a bedroom I didn’t recognize. I regrouped and pissed and found my bearings, and she was there, her neck torn to shreds, a signature of mine reserved for my deepest drunken emotions. I haven’t done that to someone since I had my skeleton rended from my body, years ago. I didn’t remember, but the memory was there, buried in her earth, and I could feel it, and I do remember that next morning I spent digging for the memory with her again. And again and again. I almost made her late for work. I slept on the couch to shake off the drink and hangover, and awoke to dinner plans once she and her mother returned home from work. I was made conscious of my current unemployed status, and I wore the bruises she gave me on my neck defiantly. We talked about what happened without remorse. We flirted casually and lightly, hunting Pokemon with her family in their mammoth obsessed hometown. I tried to climb one at her behest, but I could feel my core trembling, my legs still weak. I had given her all of my fire. We returned home and made love again and again. There wasn’t single awkward silence in the immense amount of silence we shared, the intense longing eye contact we shared, the energy flowing between us that we shared. By this time, I had no money left to simultaneously feed myself and put gas in my car to make it home. I didn’t want to leave her, but I promised to return sooner than possible. I left with a heart beat I could hear again. I had forgotten what it was to fall in love with someone naturally and not try to force it for old times. My final destination was the only one planned before I left.

My fifth stop was Syncopation. My friend, Brandon, in Memphis, and his musical stylings. I arrived through the night, into the day, and met his improv friend on no sleep. I wrote for him in his journal, and he wrote for me. By this time I hadn’y paid my phone bill for a month and had no chance of doing so now. Without data, I couldn’t message Her without a wifi connection. It was a less than optimal situation; I feared giving the impression of nonchalance. Brandon played me a ballad, dedicated to me and my journey, and I rapped over it with an honest retelling of the Story So Far + Some Other Tangential Things. He lamented not recording it. I love things that live in moments. I spent one night and the next day. While he worked, I went with Shelby, his roommate, and also my old friend from college, to her place of work, the Memphis Zoo, where she got me in for free. I wandered the animals, and took in the sunshine. I saw a woman hit her head on a wall in the Nightmare room, but she was fine. I proceeded to get ultra lost in Memphis, and unable to connect to even Starbucks wifi. I navigated by touch and cavalier direction picking and arrived at his house. I was unable to access the inside, though a former lover of Shelby’s was sleeping off a hangover within. Brandon came home, let me in, and I played videogames and read until he came home. The ex eventually left, and Shelby broke down in tears, disgusted by the experience. The ex was an emotional vampire, and Shelby struggled to say no. She blamed herself for reasons she shouldn’t have, the ex took advantage of her and Brandon’s hospitality. I remember being good at the kind of honesty good here.. I felt for her, but I didn’t know yet how to show it again. I’m glad I could be there for her, though. I left that night and arrived in Ocean Springs, only falling asleep at the wheel 14 times. I crashed direct into my bed, a cool $0.14 over target to make it home, indicator on E, and slept for a long time. 

Over the last two weeks, I’ve done nothing but pine for someone in Indiana, and my life on the road. By tomorrow, I’ll have both back, if the road only for a little while. 

[yanderes-galore]

What do you think a romantic yandere concept of Opaline from MLP gen 5 would be like?

I wrote this on Docs but I didn't see this was specifically romantic, so I tweaked it from the original draft a bit, still ended up a bit general if that was okay, I apologize :(. Doesn't change much though.

Yandere! Opaline Arcana Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Narcissism, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, imprisonment, Isolation, Violence/Thoughts of murder mentioned, Emotionally controlling behavior mentioned, Cages, Forced relationship implied.

I may not have finished MLP: Make Your Mark, but I believe I know enough about Opaline to give my thoughts on her.

Opaline Arcana is an Alicorn that has been alive since Celestia and Luna.

By the time of Make Your Mark she is nearly powerless due to Twilight.

Now she tries to use Dragon Fire in order to grow in power due to being a Fire Alicorn.

Opaline is malicious, scheming, and deceitful.

She is very skilled in manipulation, especially emotional manipulation.

Considering how well she can control Misty, Opaline would use honeyed words to gain her obsession.

Speaking of Misty, I'd expect her to be used by Opaline for her obsession.

For example, maybe Opaline can't stop thinking of a pony who's close to the Mane 5.

Earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, it doesn't matter to Opaline.

For some reason she feels she needs you.

Whenever she spies on the Mane 5, her eyes drift to you.

At some point you may just drive her insane.

She doesn't understand why she feels so weird around this one pony.

So, she sends Misty to spy.

She already needs the unicorn to search for magic sources, she might as well have her look into why you're so special.

Opaline is already quite focused on her plot to rule Equestria by stealing all of the magic.

Yet the Alicorn feels distracted when you come up.

Why does she actually want to listen to Misty about your day?

She knows she has a distaste for the Mane 5, but she feels she hates you less.

If she just wanted to steal your magic then she shouldn't care about you.

It's not like you're that strong magic-wise, if anything Sunny is stronger.

It boggles her mind when she actually enjoys watching you.

Misty is grateful that she has an excuse to be around her new friends, but grows concerned for you.

You have no idea what you do to Opaline.

Only Misty knows… even then not by much.

She just knows you drive the Alicorn crazy at times and you have no clue about it.

You're oblivious to the scheming Alicorn miles away from you.

That is until Opaline starts getting bold.

Maybe she asks Misty to lure you to her castle.

That or maybe Opaline finds a way to capture you herself.

At some point Opaline feels she has to look into why you make her feel in such a strange way.

Misty is reluctant to take part in luring you.

However, scared by the Alicorn's fiery rage, Misty lures you out of Maretime Bay.

She claims she has something cool to show you!

It's a secret….

Having no clue about the incoming danger and trusting Misty as a friend, you follow.

Only for Opaline to swoop in and trap you.

Similar to other MLP villains I've written about in the past, Opaline may keep you caged away.

The first half of her obsession is the Alicorn studying you.

You're kept in a cage, if you're a unicorn your magic is negated or straight up stolen, if you're a pegasus your wings are restrained.

Opaline taunts you, claiming you're weak.

Yet she also shows frustration as she doesn't understand why she feels strange for somepony like you.

She wonders if it's pity….

But it becomes clear it's something else later on.

She begins to notice it when she's softer towards you despite you being behind bars.

Opaline of course uses manipulation to get her way.

Like with Misty she puts you down and often makes you feel like you need her.

It's her way of preventing you from leaving.

She's strong and is offering you a home with her. 

If you're loyal you can be out of the cage and in a room

She's softer with you than Misty, but the treatment is very similar.

You want to run away but Opaline no doubt has caged you with magic like when Misty was grounded.

Misty may flee to “spy”, in reality she's trying to get you help.

She feels remorseful for her actions and knows she has to get you help.

Opaline treats you as something pretty to look at, something between a pet and someone she admires.

It's an odd relationship.

Sometimes she mocks you, sometimes she pulls you closer for affection.

You're scared of her toying.

Even when the Mane 5 come to help with Misty, Opaline refuses to let you go so easily.

You've driven her crazy and now she finally has you.

Is she just supposed to let you go?

No… she won't allow it.

As an Alicorn she's meant to get what she wants!

She'll keep you in her castle all to herself…

Even if it means destroying your so-called “friends” to do it.