#and I have to say these guys are a lot more affectionate then they are given credit for
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What you need to understand is that all the things I've ever been obsessed with ever since I was a little girl are actually in conversation with/inspired by each other.
AKA the literary equivalent of the Habsburg family tree (It really explains how a lot of these guys come off as very similar even though the authors have never heard of each other e.g. Gen Queensthief and Lymond. It's because they share like 98% of their DNA and can be traced to 2 common ancestors. Captive Prince is basically that one guy who was so inbred he needed to eat through a straw because he couldn't open his jaw, and I say this in the most affectionate way possible.)
I'm pretty sure lots of these people have also been inspired by Dumas and Sabatini, but I can't find them saying so on record (only Lynn Flewelling cited Sabatini among her influences).
Other common influences that I didn't include because either I've never been more than lukewarm on them or because they're a cultural milestone everyone's read are Tolkien (obviously), Shakespeare (obviously), Mary Renault, Arthur Conan Doyle, Anne Rice, and obviously the Odyssey, the inventor of the guile hero. Other books inspired by these that I didn't include because I've never been more than lukewarm on them include Diana Gabaldon's Outlander, Cassandra Claire's entire opus, Christopher Ruocchio's Sun Eater, Scott Lynch's The Lies of Locke Lamora (which I remember liking a lot when I was reading them, but I don't remember anything about them currently), and Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series. And also a million Star Wars and ASOIAF copycats I guess. Thought I might list them anyway in case somebody used this as a reclist. Some rando on Reddit said that Martin cited Dunnett as one of his influences but I can't find where he said that? All I've found was an ancient forum post where he says he never read them.
*Pacat has cited ASOIAF as an influence on her Dark Rise books, which I haven't read, but I included it nonetheless.
Also the arrow between Kay and Graves should be in the opposite direction but I can't be arsed to fix it lol
#dorothy sayers#lord peter wimsey#scarlet pimpernel#dorothy dunnett#lymond chronicles#house of niccolo#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#george r r martin#swordspoint#ellen kushner#vorkosigan saga#guy gavriel kay#lois mcmaster bujold#captive prince#cs pacat#queen's thief#robert graves#leigh bardugo#six of crows#holly black#megan whalen turner#star wars#lawrence of arabia#dune#sherwood smith#nightrunner series#lynn flewelling#rook & rose#I don't usually tag things but now I did because I put a lot of effort into this graph and I crave validation
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sometimes you thought jj liked to mess with you on purpose. with all the girls he'd have on his arm for the night being just to fuck with you, and all the ones he'd bring to the chateau, only whenever he knew you would be there.
it’s not that you guys were exclusive or anything— but god, he could at least be a decent guy and not rub it in your face, especially when deep down you know you’re the only girl he actually wants. you know how he is.
there was no denying it at this point — he was definitely getting a kick out of making you upset. he was no stranger to being an ass just for the sake of it and he was pretty used to having girls fawn and pine after his every move like he was a prize worth having. so for that reason, he’s extra amused when it comes to your attempts to rile him up, always amused with the thought of you seething on the inside, knowing he could make you act out so easily.
it was an unspoken game he liked to play with you, one where he made it his personal mission to rile you up as much as possible just to see how you’d react. whether it was being obnoxiously clingy with other girls in front of you, or being overly affectionate all of a sudden, you’re always so damn fun to mess with.
but today, you were in a funk — more agitated than normal, which was saying a lot because you could often be rather huffy. so jj had known, and yet he still decides to go and poke at your patience. your fuse was short as it was, so when you find him in the chateau with yet another girl from the cut he was entertaining, you were already angry and on the verge of tears. jj is sat on the couch, the pretty girl on his lap as he casually smokes a blunt, his mouth forming a grin when he sees you enter the room.
“oh hey. you’re just the girl i wanted to see.” he grins, not even having the decency to look sheepish. the girl on his lap gives you a quick glance over, taking in your dishevelled appearance with a judgemental eye before returning her attention to him. you cross your arms, shooting him a look as the girl on his lap scoots in closer, draping her arms around his neck lazily. and it was that stupid, smug little look on his face, along with the sound of her sweet giggles, that has you absolutely seething. he’s practically sitting there challenging you to snap, his shoulders relaxed back and arm resting over the back of the sofa as he watches you with an amused, expectant gaze.
usually you'd give into his games, let it get to you, let it cause you to end up with a runny nose and sad eyes in your bed. not today you've decided, a quick decision you really haven't acknowledged yet— just knew you were going to do. you play it carefully, like you remember doing in highschool, breath in and out— flash a sweet smile and walk off.
he’s momentarily shocked, not having expected you to react any other than your usual pouty self when he was blatantly messing with you. he thought for sure he was about to receive a good little whine, so when you instead just give him a little smile before heading to your spare room to get ready, he assumes. he had been waiting for you to start arguing, already prepared to rile you up even. more — but that’s not what you end up doing. his eyes narrow in confusion as he watches you go into your room and disappear behind the closed door. when he hears the lock click, he has to resist the urge to get up and bang on it immediately — deciding to wait just a little bit first. he huffs, trying to play it off cool with the pretty brunette in his lap who he’d forgotten about, giving her a gentle pat on the leg.
you focus all of your attention into the makeup you’re doing, taking your time and putting all of your focus into it. you have no idea where you’d go, but you didn’t care, you just needed to get away from him and his antics for a while. you take your time, really putting your heart and soul into getting yourself ready. by the time you’re done you look pretty so, so very pretty, and there’s no doubt about it, you’ll definitely turn heads tonight.
it’d been twenty minutes of silence in the living room when jj starts to get a little antsy; you were taking forever and a day. he was no stranger at all to you getting ready for a night out, always taking your time to perfect your makeup. only this time, he didn’t like it. he didn’t like not knowing what you were doing, or where you would be going, or what you would be wearing and who you’d end up around. the idea of you showing up somewhere, looking all prettied up and sexy for other guys to see you, really didn’t sit with him. he’s still sat with the girl, chatting a little mindlessly and occasionally casting a glance towards your door, a little confused why you hadn’t come back yet. he was expecting you to come out and try to talk him into not hanging out with the girl, not to just go MIA and get ready. he was getting a little bored and restless, deciding it was about time that he checked on you. “be back a second.” he murmurs to the girl, standing up and going to your door, frowning before knocking.
when you open the door, it finally clicks for him that your not moody, expected some red around the eyes and a slight pout to your pretty lips, but instead you’re in front of him, looking even more stunning than normal. he raises his eyebrows in surprise, slightly shocked at the level of effort you’ve gone through just to get changed. he’s stood in front of the now open door, watching as you look through dresses on the bed, all pretty things you’d only ever wear when he’d taken you for a nice night out. he takes your whole appearance in, all dolled up and obviously not wearing skimpy party clothes in front of him tonight. “where you going?” he asks, his voice a mixture of perplexed and irritated at the same time.
"somewhere." you say, cautiously aware to keep it vague— he'd go out of his way to ruin it for you— yet hearing the irritation visibly in his tone of voice caused the decision of a baby pink dress that complimented your body so majestically, you could be considered a goddess.
he’s leaning against the door frame, still in those grey baggy sweatpants and a white shirt that fit snuggly around his arms. he rolls his eyes at your blunt response, arms crossing over his chest. “somewhere? be more specific, baby.” he prompts again, watching you change into the pretty outfit with a slight frown, not even sure why he cares so much. after all— he's done this to you so many times before.
hearing him call you baby in that damn near desperate yet irritated tone causes your cheeks to flush, as they always do when he pulls that card, but you just can’t fold for him anymore. not this time. you try your hardest to seem nonchalant and unbothered, but jj can see right through your little facade, watching as you slip into the dress and turn back to face him. he does take a moment to look you over — admiring the way the dress clung to your every curve and the pretty colour that made you look like a little doll. he’d have to be a damn fool not to acknowledge how pretty you were looking, and he could only hope that no one else would be able to see you tonight and think the same. “answer me.” he mutters, still leaned up against the door.
you could practically see his mind ticking over as he thinks of the types of places you could be going to, he’d expected you to be going out to some house party or a club — somewhere he could go to and find you again so he could keep an eye on you. but you weren't attending any of the things that came listed in his head. you were going to the country club even though you were from the cut, you had the beauty of a kook and surely none of the men would make a fuss out of it, maybe the women.
"m'going to the country club. my cousin works there and i could get a free drink or two."
but his jaw tightens when you mention the country club— he doesn’t like the thought of those pretty boys in their polos seeing you dressed like a doll, who would no doubt be eager to have such a pretty thing on their arm. jj was certain with the dress you had on you'd fit right in— but he couldn't let you know that. “the country club is for kooks, not pogue chicks from the cut.” he muttered.
"good thing i look like a kook then." you said, adding the finishing touches to your look— you knew you were being petty and didn't have any shame for it. if jj could play this game so could you, and who knows maybe you'd become eye-candy for the men at the country club— partly to get back at jj and partly for the free shit you could earn out of it. no one would ever suspect that this cute little thing would ever scam anybody.
his eyebrows raised at your response, jaw clenching even more. it was probably the one answer he hated most, of course you were going somewhere that had kooks and alcohol — just what you needed to get a good little buzz on and forget him, leaving yourself open to be pounced on by some random guy. you push past him, giving him a subtle wave and an air kiss as you leave out the door, not putting anymore effort into the conversation because it was his fault that you were going out anyways.
he has half mind to stop you in your tracks, push you back into your room and remind you who you belong to. he doesn’t though, because he knows you’d never forgive him for it, and decides to swallow all his possessiveness watching you leave through the front door with a huff of defeat. having pissed you off enough for you to go and get attention from others at a place that will no doubt be crawling with kooks who have a fetish for pogue girls, it was eating at him.
it was only a few hours later you returned back to the chateau, expecting it to be empty and vacant because when you left it was— kiara was grounded at home, and john b was God knows where, and pope probably at home studying. the lights were all out, signalling that no one was home and the house was vacant — giving you the perfect time to get changed and wash the makeup off your face before crawling into the spare bedroom. you were exhausted, having been chatted up by some guys who looked rich enough to piss on their father’s rolexes, and despite it giving jj a taste of his own medicine, you just wish your night hadnt ended up having to talk to so many pompous men.
you were feeling good, high off the ego boost you’d received from the men at the country club that night who’d spent their evening complimenting you like crazy and asking for dances. you’d come back, a little buzzed from the champagne and cocktails, and expecting the chateau to be just as it was when you left — empty and quiet. how wrong you were, and it was evident when you were when you open the door and he’s lounging on the sofa, still in the same sweatpants and white shirt from earlier, clearly having just been sat there the whole time you were gone. his head turns and he locks eyes with you, and despite it being dark inside, you’re sure he’s watching you like a hawk, noting your appearance.
"hi jj." you say shyly, breaking the silence and embarrassment hitting when face-to-face. you were together but the constant back to back with other people made you feel ashamed. at least whenever you got back at him, and this was one of those times out of two.
he’s watching you, silent and somewhat tense as he runs his eyes over your figure for what feels like the hundredth time, jaw clenching again when he sees the way the dress hugs your body. he doesn’t know what’s pissed him off more — the fact you’d put yourself in that dress and the country club, or the fact you seem to be embarrassed to be back at what is your own house too. “have a nice time?” he asks, voice slightly gruff as he takes another drag of his cigarette.
you’re just about to pass him on the way to your room— not in any mood for an argument that could occur tomorrow morning when you were in a better headspace— but when his hand suddenly grabs your arm and has you pushed up against the nearest wall, your body almost completely squashed against his as he practically pins you down, his chest rising and falling with anger. “stop fuckin' cheating on me.” he asks in a low voice, eyes piercing down on your own.
he doesn’t really mean it, of course he doesn’t, he knows you would never give yourself up— but the jealousy was bubbling and bubbling, and it makes him want you all to himself and away from the other guys in that damn country club. he doesn’t trust any of them, and he sure as hell doesn’t trust you going there and not getting chatted to. he’d been sitting here for hours thinking of every damn scenario of you getting drunk and chatting it up with a rich boy. he’s got you there as his hand moves to capture your jaw in a firm grip, his thumb rubbing roughly across your cheek — his eyes darkened, staring into yours as he has you completely pressed against the wall with no where to run. you’d been wanting his attention all day, even more so when he’d started messing with you with some girl, and here he was, all the attention in the world on you with his body so close you could feel the rise and fall of his chest. “you gonna answer me or not, princess?"
"i didn't cheat on you. you cheat on me!" you say, the ego boost from the alcohol begining to take place as you stand up to him— it wasn't fair he got to pull the cheating card on you when the only times you'd ever act out like this was when he'd pushed you to your own limits. but of course it was only reasonable when he could have other people over him.
"the hell i do.” he scoffs, his temper rising at your response. he’s a little shocked at the courage you had to talk back to him, but at the same time he’s kinda into it. he can see the slight flush to your cheeks, so he assumes you’re probably at least a little tipsy right now, which has the ego boost he thought you were getting from the country club making even more sense to him. “what did you go to the country club for then, huh?”
you scoffed at that, eyes practically rolling back. he had the nerve to come for you when he'd done all this just for a reaction, and get upset when he got one. "what did you have that girl in your lap for then, huh?" you bark, he could be such a hypocrite.
he rolls his eyes, his irritation bubbling up even more as you use his own words against him — you were right, he couldn’t deny it, but he’d be damned if he’d admit that to you. he presses you back against the wall, his body completely against yours, leaving no gap between the two of you. “you’re not getting away with that, princess.” he mutters, his breath hitting your face.
the pet name seems to soften you, it always did have a way with making you feel special, making you fold completely. it's evident on your face, when your cheeks blush. his names for you always melted your defences, growing soft and all warm again with that. any other girl would brush it off and continue arguing and pushing the matter about the girl— you’re slowly giving up — giving up that tough, argumentative attitude you’d suddenly sprouted up with.
he had you right where he wanted you now, watching as once again, his use of that nickname makes you fold. the irritation in his expression melts away a little as he’d never been able to resist his own sweet little pet when she was soft, pink cheeks and looking all pretty in her pretty pink dress. “there you go, princess…” he murmurs, tilting your chin up with his thumb and rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip.
he’s staring down at you, his body still practically pinning you against the wall, your curves flush against his. he had you completely at his mercy right now, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take advantage of that or try and act like a good boy and be soft with you. “how much did you drink?” he asks, voice a little gruff as he looks down at your lips — they were more red and shiny now then he remembered.
"just two. didn't wanna do to much." you say softly, even mad at him you respected him— he is your boyfriend after all and getting black out drunk with a bunch of other men would disrespect him. but for now, you always took pride in enjoying when moments like this occured. when both of you got soft with each other and all cuddly, staring up at him with your doe eyes.
he studies your face, not entirely sure if he believes you only had two — you looked a little more floaty and giggly than he remembered. but he couldn’t deny that he loved you like this, pretty and sweet and soft in front of him. he knew his resolve would probably crumble at some point anyway, especially if you kept looking at him with those big eyes. “you sure about that, baby?”
"uh-huh." you say, shaking your head obediently with a little bite to your lip. readjusting his hand from your jaw to your curves that were perfectly grabable in this little cute dress.
he’d almost forgotten you’d gone out and put the pretty dress on to piss him off — in fact, he kinda had until he noticed it again. he still didn’t like you wearing something that was gonna get attention from men at the country club, and he had half a mind to tell you to change immediately. he lets out a heavy sigh, running eyes hand over his face. “you had guys lookin’ at you?”
you rolled your eyes jokingly as you flashed him with a cheeky grin. "didn't pay no attention to them though. just took pictures for instagram." you giggled, knowing you of course you took pictures, but jj was an over thinker and would always assume the worst, even being soft as he is now, he's still bombing you with questions.
“instagram huh?” he asks, a hint of annoyance on his face — he was definitely gonna check that later. he doesn’t think you’d be stupid enough to use that as a coverup to show some random guy your cute pink dress, but he’s certain he’s not going to like the comments you’ve recieved about your appearance. “any comments on those pictures?” he mutters, already assuming he knows the answer.
"just kiara and sarah." you giggled, you start to move his hands, letting his eyes close momentarily as your adjusting his palms from cupping your breast to your ass.
he hates how the answer somewhat calms him down, although he’s not at all pleased about the fact some guys have more than likely seen the photos. he’s not liking it one bit, but it’s even more irritating for him how soft and sweet you’re being, and how god damn pretty you are in that dress. he watches as you move his hand, a slight scoff leaving him. “keep still, baby.”
he’s taking his time looking over your appearance, noting that you were definitely a little more giggly than usual and your eyes were slightly dilated — and he doesn’t think you’re putting that on, which means you’d probably actually had more of a buzz than you’d led him to believe. his hands slide from your jaw down your body, feeling the silk of the dress on his fingers as he moves them down your hips.
it's quiet for the most part, your head against his chest and a few meaningful kisses and muttering sweet but nothings— before he can’t take it anymore, having you in the hallway and against the wall isn’t enough for the boy, as he grabs your arm and practically drags you towards the bedroom as you both let out giggled.
#jj maybank#jj maybank prompt#jj maybank x you#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x reader#girlwhorizzed#fem reader#outer banks#jj obx imagine#jj obx fic#jj obx#toxic!jj#toxic!reader#cheating#jj maybank is cutie#not proofread
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Raph’s progression from begrudging accepting hugs to being the one giving them freely and openly was really cute to me.
This turtle is physically affectionate your honor.
#i know I’ve made like five posts about this sort of thing#but I’ve read way to many fanfics that are like ‘the 2012 boys don’t hug eachother or show any sort of love to each other’#and I have to say these guys are a lot more affectionate then they are given credit for#ESPECIALLY RAPH#god I love him#tmnt#tmnt 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#2012 raph#2012 mikey#2012 leo#leo#leonardo#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt raph 2012#tmnt raph#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey#april o'neil#tmnt april#2012 april
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Anyways XO Kitty love interests summarized
Dae
Min Ho
Yuri
#I finished it guys I have thoughts#pleasantly…. surprised I actually enjoyed it a lot?#like don’t get me wrong it was very cringe fail at times but in like an affectionate way in like an aw high school affectionate#bet y’all can’t tell by this post which my favorite LI was I bet y’all can’t guess take a guess#ranking wise Yuri>Min Ho>Dae#I am so sorry Dae is so aksjskw boringgg and like not even because he is a nice guy I love nice guys#he just didn’t have any personality whatsoever apart from chasing Kitty around and saying I can explain#they could have swelled more into him being a family guy but they just kinda didn’t and it was very meh overall#like min ho was an ass but kinda funny at times and had a whole character arc#yuri had a whole development too going full circle and growing as she faced different situations in the series#dae I feel like he started the same way he finished and I guess that makes sense for the plot showing Kitty needs something else but defo#makes him the weakest li. no criticism taken btw#SHUT ME UP ITS 4 AM AND I AM PSYCHOANALYSING A KIDS SHOW AKSJWKKW therapeutic#xo kitty#I hope this doesn’t offend anyone lol all /lh#dae#min ho#yuri
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Warning for: The (spider) legs showing below!
Under the hoodie/layers, she tends to wrap her legs around her kinda like a hug! And so in the first part that's the weird bumps under the hoodie. They're starting to unravel a bit. She hates being called a monkey cause it's NOT her fault she's short and has to climb on things and up things and includes people in "things" category.
#my characters#911 and 810 and 666 (Satan) are all just agents and everyone except 911 has an odd feature of sorts#such as her spider legs and 666s tail and 343s eye on her chest and so on#they just go by their assigned numbers usually until 666 overheard 911 talking on the phone and heard him say#yeah yeah its eric sorry for a new number again#bc he tends to get new phone numbers for secret keeping reasons#but he has to call his parent to check on em! so hes like yup its me! that guy with an actual name!#and 666 is like oh thats hilarious and starts to call him Prince (since he likes to sing a lot and also prince eric sooo)#and in return to being dubbed prince he starts calling 666 satan#but! 810 and 666 become really good friends and she decides it might not be his name but its more personal than a number#so she adopts the teasing nickname as an affectionate nickname#also 911 is distinctly the only actual boring human amidst the group and he just keeps finding out about the others on accident#and then since he lives at HQ he starts to offer his very boring room up to his friends so they can strip down#and let the extra limbs or parts get some air#so hes constantly just walking into his own room and having 810 in her underwear face down on his bed with her legs out#and he sighs and goes about his day#hes kinda grateful 666 just lets his tail out and keeps his pants on most days but hes also walked into his room and#no pants only boxers tail out and flicking happily#so he just kinda counts it as a win for everyone if satan is happy (satan is the nicest of them lmao)#but yes! in the first part shes basically yelling shes gonna kill him she swears to her best friend#and 911 is like yeah ok thats scary please do NOT actually choke your human jungle gym lets just not do that actually thanks!#anyway sorry for the heap of tags i wont stop overall but i will for now ty for looking at my ocs
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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the fruit aisle incident
#splatoon#splatoon oc#shades (yen)#minatoast (oc)#sydney (oc)#lizzy does art#comic#hello everyone. i bring to you this silly comic i've wanted to make for AGES.#this was originally conceptualized solely for the punchline#but funnily enough this is actually lore relevant and not just a one-off comic that happens to be in-character.#i will not elaborate but please know that i have really been enjoying making comics and its scratching an itch in my brain (AFFECTIONATE)#i am the most unserious guy ever and i like to make myself laugh. this was fun. i can and will do more of these#i have a lot to say about the process behind this BUT I THINK ITS SMTHN I WILL KEEP 2 MYSELF 4 NOW. unless someone asks. then ill talk.#im very happy 🥺 its fun to make my ocs feel more tangible. i have a lot of things i wanna say abt them and comics will be how i say it!
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The man himself! Full of jokes..
#So ummm... We have a Barnaby alter! he's only been kicking around a lot more the last week or so... We don't really know why#But he drew himself today! There he is! now we have to figure out a tag...#Barnaby's art#Misiu's art#??#I have no idea#He's also had the worst luck and/or the funniest comedic timing of things... i can't say i should have expected.. any less?#ahh I have to update the alter list soon I bet!#Anyway#He goes by Barnaby- Teddy- AND Misiu#Though those last two are really just kind of the same. Misiu is just a name I (Dolly) call him affectionately! bc he is a big teddy bear!#There is so much to be said of him but he'll speak in his own time!#Our art#barnaby beagle#barnaby b beagle#welcome home#I'm taking a risk tagging this on the main tags but please know this isnt a “BARNABY BEAGLE REAL” we just have DID#He is an alter and he is just a guy with jokes of varying quality#Questions about all this is fine of course.. Please just dont think this is some kind of ask blog thing he is just a guy#dolly's rambles
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ok i think lamento should be awarded with the prize of worst lube in fiction
#spoilers for bardos route#ok so they were in heat and bc this is bl there arent many women around and heat dulls your pain receptors which is to say you cou#could hit it raw#and so far theyve been just doing the classic yaoi of pretending precum is lube which whatever im not reading this for realism#anyways. bardo. first of all they were in the kitchen which. do you have to.#i know its a whole thing a lot of ppl are into but thats the kitchen. thats for making food. no self respecting#cook has sex in their kitchen#anyways konoe was being a brat and knocked something off of a shelf#which. bardo decided to use.#do you want to know what it was.#honey.#yeah.#they were all ''oohh its melting with the heat which makes it slippery'' ok whatever it was flower honey specifically but#i do not think it works like that#+ it looked piss colored in one cg#0/5 stars#at least now were back to getting more lore and backstory which i always love#but man fucking bardo. mean old man who loves to affectionally bully ppl and uses a fucking stick to fight#i dont mean a quarterstaff or any other sort of a fighting stick but. firewood#from the ground#ok mr someones uncle bullying people half his age using sticks to fight ppl and honey as lube#i hate that guy (<- said with love)#lamento spoilers#leevi liveblogs
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#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
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making a crossover for idiot losers that nobody will like (<- very invested, cannot be stopped)
#sighhh. klk x dmc crossover you have exactly 2 fans#but then again perhaps it will have more fans once i post bc like. who cares + put dante in the battle lingerie#i know how you guys feel about that crusty man and his much less crusty brother alright. i know what you want#im like looking at character model sheets and taking notes on trends in the kamui designs it's so embarrassing#(<- not particularly embarrassed)#LISTEN. vergil would say ask not the sparrow how the eagle soars and shit#and where's your motivation is an extremely satsuki sentiment#nonsense is how we roll? very dante line. and ryuko (bless her) would say jackpot#im just saying the overlap is there + i get to merge dt/sdt designs w the kamuis and that's COOL#making d+v slay in a completely different direction then their typical 5 layer maximum coverage way#debating putting spurs on dantes like he had in dmc4 bc i kinda hate them (/affectionate)#obstacle 1 is the max vs minimum coverage thing for sure#obstacle 2 is that kamui designs are extremely vertical and a lot of the detailing on v+d designs are horizontal#so trying to maintain those motifs stabilizes the design in a weird way. we'll see ig#scariest part of this is the thongs. im. not sure i know what im doing here guys#what is the appropriate amount of bulge (nobody answer) in this scenario
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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
7,192 notes
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
154,688 notes
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
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🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
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🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
545,460 notes
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
988,653 notes
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
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If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.
#rat rambles#oni posting#let it be known that the second we have any sort of base of scientist ari's character and job Im going to go buck wild#I'm not even the biggest ari fan but idk I've been thinking a lot abt them lately#not anything concrete for obvious reasons but still they have so much potential#like tbh I wouldnt be surprised if theyre already technically in the logs as one of the randos I know theyre klei's second favorite child#I say second favorite because we all know meep is the favorite#anyways I hope ari does smth mildly fucked up when they do inevitably become relevant I think thatd be fun#or maybe theyll just be another artifact namedrop and never be mentioned again but I doubt it#you see meep is a man of few words he only needs to be implied through one email to leave his mark#ari needs to do smth a bit fucked up and then not elaborate I think thats the most fun ari play#as in I think itd be funny if they were like involved in smth super important but it's only briefly implied in a log where theyre talking#abt smth irrelevant and unrelated#my vote is them either being involved in the employee kidnapping or being involved in the dna stealing#yknow we still dont know who the duo in bioengineering that was mentioned once are#the only potential duo I can think of would be maybe liam and ada but idk if theyd be involved in that specifically#I think they very well could have been tho and it would be kinda fun#plus it'd give us more insight as to who could hypothetically be in the know abt the inner workings of the duplicant project#because that would mean that the plant guy could also be in the know#as in it would draw the critter and plant bioengineering ppl closer to the actual duplicant stuff itself#which would make some sense for them to be aware of the dupes but the extent of that knowledge is a question that remains#but yeah other than those two I can't rly think of any duos that are both in bioengineering#like liam isnt comfirmed but he also isnt explicitly in a different department so hes still an option#banhi and bubbles cant be it since banhi is in robotics#and every other duo falls into a similar situation or are just not in bioengineering at all#its probably not that relevant of a detail but I think its fun to speculate#but yeah Im excited to learn more abt all these guys in the future as long as it's not ellie she can explode (affectionate but still)#oh also no first hand nikola second hand nikola is fine tho#oh also I hope gossmann only gets a first initial I don't wanna know her first name#itd be so heartbreaking if they walked out and declared her full name was like tiffany gossmann or smth like that
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PRETTY KITTY TURNS PRETTY HORNY .ᐟ FT SATORU GOJO
synopsis - finally you decided to adopt a new friend at the adoption centre! only, he wants to be more that friends…
warnings - p in v, brief oral sex (fem receiving) unprotected sex, slight manipulation(?) creampie, shitty smut, petname: master used mockingly, not thoroughly proofread, talk of potential children, lowk masochist gojo, ect ect. fem reader
notes - yay I finally got this out! lol it honestly did get a bit sloppy at the end but I wanted to get this out b4 christmas!enjoy! the smut is lowkey short but I don’t want to fix it..
edit - I just realised I posted this on his death date
Phew, you did it.
You finally grew a pair and adopted a newly rescued snow-leopard hybrid! After months of your self-pitying you managed to convince yourself to adopt a friend!
You spent many, many hours contemplating on whether to actually adopt. And many hours more watching sad videos on hybrids, how mistreated they are out of the adoption centre.
That was more than enough to convince you.
Now you have an exotic hybrid of your own! And he’s just the cutest little—er big thing! He’s got fluffy little ears, a handsome face, striking blue eyes, and the fluffiest tail in the world!
You’ve learnt a lot about him. His name is Satoru Gojo, around the same age as you! Unfortunately, he spent a lot of his life in illegal fighting rings. Poor thing almost got killed a while back. Luckily, his caretakers at the agency have had no aggression problems with him! He’s affectionate, friendly, reckless at times, but overall great to have as a first time owner!
He’s really—really big. His head just about reaches the ceiling of your small apartment. It's gonna be hard finding clothes for the man. Let alone a bed.
But that’s all a problem for future you!
Packing him in the car was a hefty thing, his tallness being the main problem, a little cramped (he had to lay half his body on the floor) but it worked in the end!
As soon as you bought the little—uh, big critter home, you pampered him with affections. Petting his head, rubbing his ears, scratching under his chin all that stuff that makes him mushy in the brain!
The only problem would be leaving him alone… he’s fairly clingy. You’ll just have to work on that. He seems capable enough. Hopefully…
Note to self: get a baby cam.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Maybe this was a mistake.
Satoru’s a really good guy, he’s friendly, definitely affectionate and really clingy. All good qualities that you love about him!
But, there are qualities you come to… dislike, so to say.
He’s bratty. defiant against your house rules, a back-talker.
He always wants attention. Pushing things off counters or using his tail to block your eyes whenever he wants to annoy you.
He’s very manipulative. Using his wide eyes to trick you—or anyone—into giving him sweets!
He’s also unbearably horny, probably his worst trait. Always trying to rub against you, heck even mount you! For someone so angelic-looking, he sure ain’t an angel.
And you can name a couple of… embarrassing incidents.
Incident #1
“Hey—Toru! What are you doing, stop that!” You shout, trying to push him back and away from— wait, are those your panties he has in your mouth!
“Satoru! Bad boy, get those out of your mouth!” You splutter, face flushing red.
But, apparently you adopted the devil.
He tilts his head in an innocent way, ears flopping to the side as he deviously munches on your precious—and very expensive—underwear.
You try to wrestle them away from his maw, unlucky for you, you’ve also adopted an abnormally tall hybrid. His innocent act drops as he dangles them above your head, laughing at your embarrassment.
Of course, he gave it back. Not without it slicked in his spit and now turned crotchless.
It was… not a great moment for you or your hopes of being dominant over him.
Incident #2
It’s a nice sunny morning, you got up earlier than your alarm, made a nice breakfast, and finally got that darned work assignment finished.
A peaceful day.
Until your precious kitty takes his biting urges on you.
“Satoru, do-don’t bite meee!” You whine, once again trying to push away the snarky beast. God, why must he be twice your size.
He chuffs, pining you with his weight as he nibbles at your skin. Tail swaying mischievously behind him.
“Mn—be still, lemme jus’…” He whispers. Devious man he is. His nibbling becomes full-blown bites, decorating your neck and collarbone in a bazillion bite marks.
Satoru only giggles at your pathetic attempts of squirming away. Pfft, you think he’ll let you walk away? Nothing gets away from his keen eyes.
Needless to say, the bite marks were not a fashion statement at work. Didn’t really capture as many complements as it did laughter.
Note to self: Invest in a muzzle.
Incident #3
Now, maybe this is your fault. You did notice the change in behaviour, he’s always been clingy— the staff at the agency did say he was… the possessive type. But! You didn’t notice the possessiveness until now! So it’s not entirely your fault.
Okay, maybe his growling at your friend— male, should you note— was a teensy red flag, the constant butting of his head against you was also alerting you. So you maybe-sorta-should’ve predicted this.
Maybe if you realised that Satoru is not entirely human (even though he acts like it), you would’ve remembered he has an amazing sense of smell.
“aaahnn… mornin’ Toru’, how did you sleep hm?” you yawn. The lack of response is unnerving, and rude.
“Hey now, ts’ not nice to ignore me, Satoru.” Again silence, wait—what the-?
“Oof! Satoru—gah!—get off!” You struggle, your overgrown hybrid kitty has decided to pounce on you, his full weight crushing you.
“H-hey—oh!” Did.. did you feel that correctly, is your boy.. oh gosh.
“Mrrow…mn, you smell s’ good.” His breath is hot against your neck, sniffing at your throat, his fuzzy ears rubbing under your chin.
“Mnh—heat, in heat? mrr..” He purrs, big hands encasing yours as the big idiot rocks his hips against your backside— oh my.
“H-huh? No, down Satoru! Bad boy—ooh!—don-don’t!” You try not to moan out as he ruts against you. Licking at the nape of your neck, almost mockingly.
“Heh— shh, I’ll take care of ya. Aw’ you’re so small compared to me..” Satoru breathes, chuckling like he always does.
…
Lets just say, Satoru has become real good friends with the spray bottle.
Note to self: Get him neutered.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
And there are way more incidents as… sexual as these ones. You love the big guy, he’s cuddly, got a fuzzy head, really warm, but he seems to really enjoy mounting you. Like, really badly.
He’s become a menace! I mean, you knew he wasn’t neutered, but you didn’t think he’d be interested in you!
It's almost everyday he tries to get in your pants! Gotta hand it to him, he’s really persistent.
Well, you won’t be taking any of his nonsense today!
“Satoru! Breakfast!” You yell out. You hear him scurrying around the corner, jeez food fein.
“Heh, mm waffles..” He purrs at your feet, nuzzling against the back of your knee.
He wraps his tail around your ankle, hands gently kneading at your leg. Nose twitching at the sugary smells.
“You hungry, sweetie?” You coo, petting the big oafs head.
Awh, maybe you’re being too harsh on him. He’s your baby, he doesn’t know any better!
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Oh who were you kidding, of course he knows what he’s doing! Why are you so gullible?
What was supposed to be a nice, calm, peaceful, non-sexual breakfast, ends up with your mischievous kitty munching on your pussy instead!
He’s got your legs up, knees having small-talk to your shoulders whilst he —quite literally— devours you.
“Satoruuu!— don’t do thaah! Oh!” You squeak. You weakly push on his head, trying to get him away from your front.
Unfortunately, Satoru is a determined cat.
“Mnn, be still. M’ hungry.” He purrs between your legs, the vibrations of his voice send tingles up your spine.
For Satoru, that delicious nectar leaking out of you is heavenly. Until this thin, pathetic piece of fabric ruins his meal. If only he could just…
rripp!
“H-huh? S’toru! Those were expensiveee— haa!” You scold. well, try to. It’s hard to speak when you’re literally breathless.
He tongues at your now naked pussy, slurping all that gooey goodness you so graciously produce. So sweet.
He pulls back, your cunt and his mouth connected by a sloppy string of spit. He coo’s and presses a kiss hard against your clit, making you twitch and moan.
Out of the corner of your eye you see the devil incarnate smiling so sweetly, his tail curling around your ankle. What was once a sweet gesture is now no longer reassuring.
Your ‘innocent’ kitty now has free rein to your more… primal parts. The stronger scent pulls on Satoru’s will, he whines at the sudden, yet aggressive urge to bury himself inside you.
Hmm maybe he should.
Hoisting himself up, Satoru leans back on his calves, admiring the little mess he’s made of you. Flushed red, panting, drooling, and completely high on the pleasure. His pants tighten.
He’s been blessed with such a cute owner!
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Plap! Plap! Plap!
“Haa— d’aww don’t be so shy, master. Heh—fhuck!” Said the devil incarnate, mockingly.
Satoru is a condescending bunch, cute but really full of himself. It’s shows in his way of fucking.
He has you on your back, legs resting on his broad shoulders as he literally folds you in half. Your head is just reeling, your face is covered in his spit, hairline all sweaty, jaw hanging open, and you're burning all over!
His cock is big, too big. It nearly split you in half when he tried to fit it in. He’s never been a patient kitty.
“Awhhh— masterrrr, you’re tightenin’ up sho’ muchhh…” He purrs. Tail swaying mockingly.
Leaning forward, Satoru nuzzles his ears against your cheek, wanting to be pet.
Unfortunately, you’re incoherent to his requests. Too focused on the harsh rutting of his cock into your sticky cunt.
“Heyyy… pet meee,” He whines, “Hm? Heh— tappin’ out already?” His eyes gleam with mischievous-ness as he grins a toothy grin. You’re not gonna make it out alive.
He bites his lip, giggling at your pleasured face. If only he could take a picture, save this moment forever. He cups your face, caressing your sweaty cheeks, then presses a loving kiss to your lips.
“Mwah! Hehe— you’re so cute,” He whispers against your lips.
In midst of this somewhat sweet moment, the pace of Satoru rolling his hips against you increases. Then turning into him full on slamming his hips into yours, huffing as he focuses on pounding you into next week.
All you can do is grip onto him, tugging on his ears. He moans pornographically, drooling as you harshly grip his sensitive ears. The painful yet pleasant sensation sparks something new in Satoru.
With the intent to breed, Satoru turns you over. His chest to your back as he leans his weight on you, arms wrapping tightly around your sweaty skin.
This new position gives Satoru a better chance at giving you some cute mini him’s!
“Oh! Oh!—Toruuu’!” You squeal, tears now brimming in your eyes at the overwhelming feeling that is undoubtedly him.
Without warning, you cum. Hole clenching and spasming and coating his lower body in a translucent liquid.
“Hm—hah— I knew you wan—ahn—wanted me!” He mewls, quickly pounding in and out, creating a wet ‘schlick!’ sound.
Oh you’re so perverted! Letting your precious kitty take you like this!
You’ll never live this down.
Satoru doesn’t seem to care.
“Oooh— m’ cumming, nng— masterrr!” He moans, non-stop humping into your creamy pussy, drooling all over you.
“Not—not insideee! Toru’!” You cry out, pushing your hips back to get him off of you, it does the opposite.
His tail wraps around your thigh as he cums. It splurts frantically inside of you, his cock twitching violently as he whines in pleasure.
It’s hot, sticky and definitely a thick load. It feels endless, liquidy rope after rope. But it feels so refreshing.
He pulls out (you didn’t think he would), nuzzling and purring at the nape of your neck. Innocently licking at your tear-stricken cheeks.
…
It’s been so long since you last experienced this pleasure.
You’ll definitely regret this later.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Oh god, why did you do that!
Having sex with a hybrid is just a different type of low, even for you!
Oh jeez, you're just as perverted as him! Oh whywhywhywhy! He was just supposed to be a companion! Not a—
“Mrr, pet meee..” Satoru whines, pawning at your chest. He’s back to his old self again.
Mostly. He’s become more… confident in his abilities over you. Let’s just say after your regrettable (not in his eyes) playtime with him, he has no restraint on mounting you now. The idiots even started humping you in public!
Which is why you’ve been leaving him at home.
Now more than ever, you two spend a lot of time together. Mostly consisting of naps, him licking you, more naps, eating… recreational activities, blah blah blah. He now sleeps on your bed, he’s more like an overstayed one night stand than an exotic cat.
At Least he’s extra cuddly!
#.toru#hybrid satoru#snowleopard!gojo#hybrid!gojo#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#gojo headcanons#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk smut#hybrid jjk
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Chip and Dip
Lando Norris x snowboarder!reader
Author’s Note: In honor of where I live getting around 11 inches (28 cm) of snow over two days, here’s a little social media au about an Olympic snowboarder, who also happens to be sponsored by Monster Energy. Just like Lando. None of these IG stories are real. I made them with my need for detail
I haven’t done an smau in so long, so please bear with me and the fact it doesn’t really have a plot
General Notes: no use of yn, a nickname is used instead. no faceclaim, but there’s some skin showing in a few images! swearing, she/her pronouns used, yc is your country but you can pretend it’s just a snowboarding team or smth!
Liked by mclaren, lando, chipnflip, and 567,832 others
monsterenergy Two of our favorite snowboarders will be heading out with a few other Monster Energy athletes for a snowy getaway. Stay tuned for clips, tricks, and videos
Tagged: chloekim, chipnflip
user02 stfuuuuuuu omg omg who are the other athletes???
user78 CHIP AND CHLOE MY FAVE DUO 👹
user34 wait can someone please explain why she goes by chip???
↳ chipfan omg it’s so stupid (affectionately). years ago she was a guest on a youtube channel (forget which one) and she tried to do a trick and fucking ATE it (not the good ate) and chipped her front tooth. everyone just calls her chip now
↳ user04 it was that one trickshot channel
chipnflip let’s get ittttt 🏂 Liked by author
chloekim So excited! We’ll have to teach these skiers how to snowboard 🥱 Liked by author
user18 I SEE MCLAREN LIKED. PLSSSSS TELL ME LANDOSCAR WILL BE THERE
↳ monsterenergy we can neither confirm nor deny 👀
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂
Liked by mclaren, chipnflip, oscarpiastri, and 1.3m others
lando the boys on the slopes
Tagged: oscarpiastri, patriciooward, nolansiegel, monsterenergy
user167 PATO IS THERE TOO? IM GONNA COMBUST
user16 is it just mclaren and the two snowboarders?? 🏃🏻♀️
↳ monsterenergy We can assure you there are more than just the five of them! There are ten in total!
user74 Not them becoming a clique 😭
user55 have they taught you guys snowboarding yet???
↳ chipnflip I fear we haven’t been able to teach them yet! We wanted to get to know each other first! Hopefully tomorrow 🤞
↳ lando @.chipnflip If it’s like anything today, I’m worried I’m gonna become scared of the snow
↳ user67 LANDO WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?
↳ lando @.user67 snowballs to the face 😔💔
user178 so you’re telling me 10 athletes had a snowball fight and no one posted about it???
↳ chipnflip I gotchu!
▂▂▂▂▂▂▂
Liked by nolansiegel, patriciooward, lando, and 678,438 others
chipnflip The snowball fight that occurred between 10 professional athletes last night. To our managers, no one got injured 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Tagged: lando, chloekim, patriciooward, and 6 others
lando Speak for yourself 👎🏻👎🏻
↳ chipnflip dude, be so for real, it wasn’t even packing snow. it was as light as a feather
↳ lando MATE YOU LIFT
user137 LANDO GETTING HIT IN THE FACE JQICNDOW BYEEE
oscarpiastri As Lando’s teammate, I must say, I do believe there was a small piece of ice in one of the snowballs
↳ chipnflip Ope— uhhh I was unaware of that one
ycnowboarding We’d like to formally apologize to McLaren for any harm our athlete may have caused to your very expensive driver
↳ mclaren we accept the apology. Liked by author
↳ lando says WHO?
user33 not her bullying Lando 2 days after they met 😭😭
↳ user77 and him clapping back 🏃🏼♀️
user88 OFFICIAL YC SNOWBOARDING ACCOUNT APOLOGIZING IS SENDING ME
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12,458 likes
f1gossipupdates Some of Chip’s recent IG stories! There are lots of theories after Monster Energy uploaded a video of the winter getaway/vacation. While other athletes were being interviewed and Chip or Lando could be seen in the background, the other was always close behind. Leading some fans to suggest that there might be something going on between the two of them.
user009 omg can’t two people just be friends?? even if they’re more than friends should we even care??
hater17 i get a weird vibe from her. idk. i dont like her
↳ hater62 no bc i totally agree. there’s something about her that bugs me and i can’t put my finger on it. i hope she doesn’t take advantage of lando 💔
↳ user72 “take advantage of lando” 🥱 puhhh-lease you’re saying that like she’s not an incredibly successful athlete that has 3 Olympic gold medals and is as well known, if not more, than lando
user90 does anyone know why she rarely shows her face??? I wanna know what she looks like so badly
↳ user108 I mean… did you not watch the video monster put out?? Her face is clearly in that 😭😭
user779 chip and lando this, chip and lando that. but we should talk about the sibling-like banter between her and pato. they’re kind of iconic 💔😔
↳ user028 PLEASE. when Pato was “bullying” her and then she just… pushed him off his snowmobile??? 😭😭 and then Nolan and Chloe started to chant “fight, fight, fight” ???
hater59 she’s actually so annoying. she can’t stay away from any of them and it’s so cringe
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Liked by chipnflip, chloekim, maxverstappen, and 1.6m others
lando Truly an awesome experience! Huge thank you to @.monsterenergy for hosting this event, will forever remember it!
Tagged: chipnflip, oscarpiastri, chloekim, patriciooward, and 5 others
annika.overtomorrow It was great meeting everyone!! We’ll have to do something again! Liked by author.
↳ lando gotta get the gang back together sometime soon!
↳ user2 THE GANG. ARE THEY ALL BESTIES NOW??!!
user14 SEVENTH SLIDE. SEVENTH SLIDE
chloekim You weren’t a horrible snowboarder, I’ll give you that.
↳ lando You honor me greatly
user85 call me crazy, but is that chip in the seventh slide???
↳ user23 I was thinking the same thing but she doesn’t wear those types of goggles 💔💔
chipnflip Will forever laugh at your hair in pics 1 and 4 🫵🏻🤣
↳ lando You’re just jealous 🥱🥱
↳ chipnflip whatever helps you sleep at night!!
user65 Still obsessed with the fact Nolan casually pulled 10 McLaren lego sets out of his suitcase
↳ user17 No bc I cackled when that happened
↳ nolansiegel what can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I come prepared
hater9 Praying seventh slide isn’t… her. Was literally hard for me to watch the videos they posted bc of how obnoxious I found her. like wtf even is that nickname???
↳ user56 that’s not very girls-girl of you like your bio says. Liked by author
↳ user56 LANDO?????
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Liked by lando, nolansiegel, maxfewtrell, and 578,491 others
chipnflip Was definitely a fun time! Met so many new people and was able to catch up with some longtime friends :,) My runs weren’t too bad either 🥱🥱
user92 max f in the likes????
↳ user10 RIGHHHHTTT???
chloekim she’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment 😍
↳ chipnflip i’m gonna kiss u
↳ lando @chipnflip eh? 🤨
↳ user6 lando 💀
patriciooward It was great meeting you! Even if you did kick me off of a snowmobile!
↳ chipnflip booooo 👎 you’re making me sound aggressive
↳ patriciooward @chipnflip Good!
↳ user65 helpppo i love their friendship
oscarpiastri Pretty sure Lily has been attempting to subtly ask to meet you
↳ chipnflip Oh my gosh that’s so sweet 😭😭 text me!!
lando bet i could do the trick on the second slide
↳ chipnflip omg I bet you could 🤩🤩 bet I could win a grand prix in less than 110 races
↳ lando @chipnflip low blow :(
hater8 gosh, she’s so fucking rude.
↳ user14 girl, I think she was joking Liked by author
↳ hater8 but how are we supposed to know that??
↳ user14 as long as lando knew it was a joke why does it matter???
↳ lando I knew it was a joke. I was sitting right next to her.
user54 hold. lando and chip. hanging out. together. alone???? 👀
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+ stories from lando and chip during the trip
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okay, so I’m thinking of doing a part 2, maybe with some writing. just because I think the ending to this as of now is a little bland and I want chip and lando to do the classic soft launch photos (I have some cute ones).
Please let me know if you’d like another part!
#f1 x reader#formula 1#lando norris#Lando Norris x reader#f1 smau#Lando Norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris social media au#Lando Norris smau#mclaren x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one smau
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Yandere single dad monster that sees you help one of his children once and decides you will be their new mother.
Warnings: Yandere thought/behavior
Yandere monster takes his twin children to the park so they can run around, expend some of their extra energy, and enjoy the nice weather.
He had been raising his daughter and son on his own since their mother walked out when they were still babies. Having two twin monster toddlers running around was a lot of work, but he loved his children endlessly. He would give them anything in the world and do anything to protect them, even going as far as having tiny tracking devices clipped on to them whenever they leave the house.
He had just been kneeling in front of his son to tie his shoelaces after a long afternoon of playing when he heard his daughter cry out for him. He immediately looks around, frantic, before he finally spots her sitting on the stone pathway and holding her knee.
As he stands and grabs his son in his arms, set to make his way over to his little girl, he watches as a human woman stops and kneels in front of his daughter.
He can’t hear the words you are saying to her, but he relaxes slightly as his daughter's cries quiet down, and she smiles at you. He begins the walk over, keeping his eyes trained on the two of you, his thoughts running wild as his toddler makes her way into your arms.
It’s almost comical watching the human woman struggle slightly to lift a toddler that must be half her size at least, but he can’t help the feeling pooling in his chest as he watches you calm and soothe her.
He can tell you startle slightly as he appears behind you, casting a large shadow over your body. You seem to relax somewhat as you see his son in his arms, seemingly putting together the fact that the little girl you hold must be his.
“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to impose. I saw her trip, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay,” you say, still slightly nervous about the male, who must be at least three feet taller than you.
He gives you what he hopes is a reassuring and friendly smile as he says, “No need to apologize. I am thankful that you were kind enough to help my daughter. She seems to like you”.
He watches you smile shyly as his daughter hugs you tighter. You rub the girls back affectionately as you say, “Well, I am just glad she is okay and happy I could help. I’ll pass her back over to you. I was actually on my way to meet my boyfriend for dinner.”
He makes sure to mask his disapproval of you having a boyfriend with a smile, gently taking his daughter back from your arms. He reaches out one of his large hands and gently squeezes your arm as he thanks you again. You give his daughter and son a small wave before continuing your walk through the park.
Pulling out his phone, he checks to ensure the tiny tracking device he slipped onto your coat is working, relaxing when he sees the little mark moving through the park. He looks at his two kids, happy he finally found the perfect mother for them.
“Alright, little ones, it’s time to go home. We have a lot of work to do to get the house ready for Mommy to move in.” As he checks your location again, he grins, knowing that you will be his.
His human, his wife, and the mother of his children.
❤️💕🖤🖤💕❤️
Let me know if you guys would like to read more on this! Also if so, do you like me keeping it as a general monster or do you want it to be a specific monster?
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere monster#monster husband#teratophillia#monster x human#monster fucker#monster fudger#monster lover#monster fuqqer#terat0philliac#terato#monster romance#monster boyfriend#monster x reader#yandere male#yandere drabble#werewolf#werewolf x reader#yandere werewolf#orc#orc x reader#orc romance#yandere orc#minotaur husband#minotaur x reader#demon x reader#demon husband#yandere demon#yandere fae
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