#and I hate upsetting anyone on my own behalf

[lightthatibecome]

LMFAOOOO IM NOT ATTACKING YOU BY SAYING THIS I'M PISSED THAT YOU SAID 'NOT TO DERAIL' WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY INTENTIONALLY DERAILING A POST THAT WAS VERY SPECIFIC????

I have had MULTIPLE people do this and I'm irritated as all hell that I can make a post about people that has TWO SIMPLE QUALIFIERS and SO many people are bothered enough that my post isn't about everyone everywhere all the time and that I wasn't taking xyz into consideration when making a post about MEN. ON. THEIR. PERIODS.

Men on their periods deserve special biting permissions in the workplace

[gb-patch]

GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader

[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]

Hey everyone,

I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasn’t done anything terribly wrong and isn’t going to be punished.

The comment about OL MCs wasn’t meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-

"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."

And most of the comments were about me. I’ve seen screenshots of the full conversations and they’re not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldn’t accept it. That’s not a lie, it’s what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. I’m the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. I’m not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.

I also don’t want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldn’t ever say it to a person seriously and directly.

I understand if you wouldn’t want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise it’s not a point of contention between me and Rose. I don’t feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and that’s why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.

Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.

This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I don’t want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I don’t want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.

Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. We’ll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!

[valtsv]

This isn't a gotcha, so please don't take it as such, but would yuou be willing to explain what it is about VAL that makes her such a favourite of yours? I can't stand her myself, she comes across to me as a bully given god-like power that she abuses for her own amusement, and I've seen you acknowledge as much, but we draw completely different conclusions from that. I just want to understand your perspective.

i've been anticipating a question like this for a while now, so i'm more than happy to answer for you!

you're right, VAL is in some ways a "bully given godlike power" as you put it, and there's no avoiding that (nor do i want to). and yeah, i do like her in part because of that, because i have a fondness for horrible fictional characters and in particular "bad victim" archetypes, of which VAL certainly is one. but i think what makes her compelling to me, rather than repulsive, is that she is fundamentally a cautionary tale and a tragedy. in-universe, she's the scapegoat. the example. the "make the right choices or this could be you". she's inescapably, heartbreakingly human in her awfulness, and that makes her terrifying, but it also makes her deeply sad (at least to me).

i also strongly believe in rehabilitative/restorative justice, so for me, wanting better for VAL is about my real-world principles to a degree. i can't and won't argue that VAL doesn't function as an uncomfortable allusion to a lot of atrocious crimes against humanity (by humanity) within the narative, and that anyone who finds her upsetting or even hateful for these reasons is absolutely justified in doing so. however, she's still a fantasy entity at the end of the day. she's not a 1:1 stand-in for real-world abuses any more than, say, a vampire or werewolf, which plenty of people are more than happy to explore the nuances of. and there's also the question of what punitive measures would even achieve in her case, beyond personal satisfaction for the one administering or spectating them (which is not to say that wanting to punch VAL makes you as bad as she is, just that her arc is, among other things, about how cycles of abuse and violence perpetuate). the worst that could possibly happen to her has already happened. she's been tortured. she's been taken advantage of for her mistaken belief that working for and with the system has the opportunity to benefit her, and died for it. there's nothing to be "learned" from her punishment that hasn't already been shown to us. that she hasn't already internalised. if she were ever to develop a stable conscience, that would be punishment enough in my opinion.

despite being a victim of people not entirely unlike VAL, i personally am not her victim, so treating her with sympathy and kindness whilst acknowledging the elephant in the room that is her many (fictional) war crimes is not something that requires any cognitive dissonance on my behalf. i would cautiously argue that the narrative agrees with me somewhat in this regard - the few times VAL is treated to a genuine act of kindness with no ulterior motives, it shatters her composure and outward conviction that what she's doing is necessary for her personal satisfaction, and even prompts her to reconsider on occasion (sparing the woodsman comes to mind). i'm not saying anyone needs to hug her and tell her she's valid, but if all it takes is some genuine good intent to get her to engage in introspection, i'm willing to be the person to offer it.

[rosehxnt]

why am i me?

characters: deuce spade, cater diamond, leona kingscholar, kalim al-asim, vil schoenheit summary: you can’t help but compare yourself to those you see on social media warnings: overall mentions of insecurity about appearance/personality, reader wears makeup (vil), kind of implied post book 4 (kalim), possibly ooc, anyone can be pretty, grammar is what i want it to be

Deuce Spade  “Why is everyone on this app prettier than me?” you mused, looking through the pictures of various magicam stars. “Ugh, I hate it here,” you said dramatically as you threw your phone down against the couch.  “Did someone say something?” Deuce was already on his feet, ready to fight someone on your behalf.  With calculated words and good reasoning skills of course. Not fists, never fists.  “No one said anything I just feel…” you trailed off, hoping you didn’t have to say it but your boyfriend’s look of concern pushed you on.  “…lackluster compared to everyone else.”  "That's not true!" His enthusiasm about it almost startled you. "I think you're the prettiest in all of twisted wonderland."  "But look at all these people." You went to retrieve your phone but Deuce intercepted you and tossed it on a nearby table. You were slightly concerned about the state of the screen but were quickly distracted.  "Those people don't matter right now, so stop comparing yourself to them." He sat next to you. "I like you how you are, and I won't stop reminding you of that until you realize you're just as pretty, if not exceeding in prettiness, compared to everyone else."

Cater Diamond  He couldn't say he didn't relate to you, but other things were more important at the moment.  Cater watched your frustrated face as you tried to pull off the latest trend on magicam. He wished he could secretly capture it and post it with a 'totes adorbs' caption but he had promised you not to do that without permission.  "I can help you if you want," he offered from across the table.  "I got this," you assured him. "I just need to figure out how they did this one part."  You also needed to figure out how they did the part after that, and the one after that.  Cater could tell, and you could tell that he could tell. There was no other option at this point.  "Okay, I need help."  The next few minutes consisted of Cater leading you through the steps of the trend but you just couldn't get it down like everyone else seemed to. Cater could sense the previous frustration was close to making you even more upset.  "How about you do it this way." He shifted your phone so it'd be easier.  "But it looks cooler the way everyone else is doing it," you said as you moved it back in place.  "What if we do it as a couple? That'll be cool."  "You promise?"  "I promise," Cater said as he took control of your phone again.

Leona Kingscholar  Laying next to Leona in his bed, you scrolled through your magicam feed to find that some students in your class were throwing a party.  "Do you ever feel like we're not fun enough?"  He barely shifted to look at you, his green eyes opening to meet yours.  "What do you mean by that?"  "Like we never go to parties or school events and stuff." You sat up. "Places where people have fun."  Leona was sitting up ever so slightly now. "Do you really want to hang out with people you barely know?"  You stopped to think about the excruciating small talk you'd have to go through since as far as you knew none of your friends were going to be attending.  "I know I'd rather be spending my time here with you," Leona broke the brief silence. "It's fun in our own way."  "Really?"  "You heard me, herbivore. I'm not gonna say it again." He settled back down.  Giving no response you dove back to where you were laying. Leona grabbed you by your waist and pulled you towards him, settling his face in the crook of your neck. You smiled, knowing spending the evening in his arms would be much more fun than some party.

Kalim Al-Asim  With your living conditions being less than ideal, you couldn't say you had the resources to buy any trendy or expensive clothes.  This often caused you to silently lament over the fashion of others, sometimes growing into jealousy. The worst part was that you felt bad whenever you became envious of your boyfriend, Kalim, who was by no means lacking in money.  Today was one of those days.  Watching him sift through his latest shopping spree you found yourself becoming quieter in your responses. You didn't think he would notice until he spoke.  "Is something wrong? You're not as energetic as normal."  "No, I'm just feeling a bit tired right now." You tried to force a smile as you reassured him. But he could sense something was up with your facade.  "Did you want to go shopping too? I know you said you were busy but we can always go again," Kalim said, moving closer to you.  "I'm fine, I don't exactly have the funds for it anyway."  "I can pay!" Always the optimist, a smile spread across his face. "We can make a date out of it!"  "Thank you for offering but I don't want to use you like that," you said.  "I'll be okay." He met your eyes. "Please let me do this for you."  You couldn't help but smile at Kalim's actions. "Okay, let's go."  "Yay! Shopping date here we come!"  "Maybe we should ask Jamil first," you suggested while you took his hand as he led you out of the dorm.

Vil Schoenheit  You shuffled across the floor of the pomfiore dorm, phone dangling from your hand as students both avoided you and somehow led you to who you were there to see.  "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but-"  "My dear potato, you could never bother me," Vil turned to look at you. "What's the matter?"  You stared at your shoes for a moment, too embarrassed to show your face even from this far away. Sensing your apprehension, he stood and took even, elegant steps your way.  "If you don't tell me, I can't help you."  You finally raised your head to make eye contact with the man. "I tried a makeup tutorial I saw online and I look like a clown, not in a fun way. I don't understand how the person in the pictures looks so good and I can't."  "Show me what you were going for, I'm sure I'll be able to help."  Over the duration of the afternoon, Vil showed you not only the proper way to perform the look you were going for but also what colors suited you best and the proper technique to use. He even redid your makeup and allowed you to borrow some items from his collection to use for practice.  Vil sat you in front of his vanity mirror, letting you get used to your new appearance. You inspected how the soft hues looked against your skin, how they complimented you much better than the ones before, enhancing your nose and showing off your eye shape.  "I went with something more natural looking," he said from behind you. "I hope you don't mind, liebling, for you are lovely just the way you are."

a/n: my apologies for some being longer than others or more self-inserty but this will be the first piece of writing i'm posting so i hope it's enjoyable at least m.list & rules

© rosehxnt

[coldairballoons]

i've seen a lot of people saying that saltburn (2023) isn't a commentary on class, and genuinely, i have to disagree.

keep in mind, i watched this at 3am last night with my sibling, but i'm also a literature major with a focus in literary criticism of popular culture (including film), so i do know what i'm talking about!

spoilers below the break

first of all, framing saltburn as a conflict between the upper class and lower class is incorrect. in fact, that in itself is one of the major criticisms that comes up throughout it! oliver is quite literally not lower class, but uses the preconception that the cattons will view anyone in a lower social class than them as a tool to manipulate his way into their life. despite this, he is not lower class. and you are not meant to root for him, especially not towards the end.

the marxist theory of literary criticism surrounds the idea that in every story, one of the key concepts is a class struggle. this could be between any class, but the most common is the rich vs poor duality that shows up in most stories - ex. titanic, the fall of the house of usher. the thing is, in both of those examples, the sympathy lies with the victims - the lower class. in titanic, you are meant to feel guilty on behalf of the rich leaving the lower class to die. in usher, you are meant to feel anger towards the mistreatment of those who seek out the treatment the family offers. but while usher is a clear criticism of class, is that its main genre? is is purely a class struggle movie? no. it is a story inspired by edgar allan poe that surrounds horrors of family, trauma, and yes, class, but also morality. meanwhile titanic is supposedly a romance. though jack dawson is young and poor, he is not the only sympathetic character. what i'm saying here is that media is incredibly layered, and while on the surface level, something may not be entirely a class conflict story, those undertones exist throughout, no matter what. even take hit series percy jackson for example. there is still a class discussion to be had there, with percy and his mom struggling with finances, while annabeth and her father live comfortably.

but saltburn is interesting, because the antagonist throughout the entirety of it is, as far as the audience knows, lower class. you are introduced to him, not through judgement for his living condition, but through compassion and generosity. felix offers him a hand, even when he isn't in the same group as him. that in itself is a criticism of class dynamics.

listen. i hate rich people as much as the next gen-z college student. i personally have a hit list with many a billionaire's name right at the very top. but it's undeniable that, despite the class difference, the cattons - at least venitia and felix - are kind to oliver at first. obviously, he is a part of the other, but he is still a person. elspeth enjoys his presence. james treats him as a son. farleigh feels threatened by his presence, because he knows that, if they so choose, they could replace him with oliver.

i want to talk about farleigh for a second.

i literally have not seen anyone talk about farleigh, and i am upset about it. not only is he one of the most compelling characters - a supposed american slacker who lives with his extended family and blows their money on lavish means -, but he is important in the class discussion because it affects him directly. the cattons do not support his mother. she is in america, and although they have the ability to, they actively choose not to. the reason felix is bothered when farleigh implies that it is, in fact, a "race thing", is because it is. why is farleigh the one dependent on the cattons, and risking expulsion from the family? because he is the first other that they encounter.

and then pamela, who not only has sought help from the cattons, but disappears midway through with no explanation. she goes directly from rehab to them, and although she is trying to find a place to live on her own, the cattons offer her no assistance. they offer her nothing, and complain when she is in their space. they offer her NO help, when they so easily could set her up with a small flat and monthly allowance to help her find a job.

and not only is this a criticism of the upper class - the inactivity and extremely single-minded worldview that the cattons have, the amount that they are out of touch with not only the outside world and the lower class, but their own emotions -, it's also a criticism of the upper middle class.

as someone currently in college, whose parents are a college professor and a high school teacher, i am fairly middle class. however, there are so many people in my immediate vicinity - folks i know from high school, in my classes, extended family, etc., - who are Extremely upper middle class. however, they have the comfort of certain things that i, and my family, don't have. that's just part of life. however, in saltburn, oliver milks the "middle" in his "upper middle" class. he milks it, and he runs it absolutely dry.

someone truly in his alleged position would not be able to spend the summer lavishly and hedonistically gallivanting around the countryside of england, playing tennis and smoking cigarettes by the lake. hell, someone in my middle class position wouldn't be able to do that either, especially not while attending oxford fucking university. he would likely need to work, not just to support himself, but to support his mother, especially after - again, allegedly - his father died. and not only is this coming from a place of an oversight on his part, not realizing what his privilege truly is, but it also comes from a place of oversight on the part of the cattons.

do i think that saltburn is a movie about class? nope. at its core, it's a story about a desire for power and possession, ownership and obsession. there is this intense, almost vampiric lust throughout the entire thing, and that's in part what makes it the perfect setting for discussions of sexuality, of madness, and, honestly, class. wealth is power, and the cattons have a lot of it.

[monstermoviedean]

@angelsdean here: While I do agree with a lot of the bitter deangirl posting abt the Trap I also have always still liked the scene? and offer a slightly less bitter perspective.

I have always viewed the scene less as Dean thinking he NEEDS to apologize but more as Dean understanding Cas feels he needs Dean to forgive him. I read the whole scene (and episode) from the POV of Cas being very rooted in his own insecurities, and thus projecting out a bit and deflecting and being short with Dean. Because purgatory is magnifying Cas's own guilt and well, Cas isn't handling it well. And you Know i am the first to get angry on Dean's behalf and I DO think Cas is being a unfair, but, I think I also need to practice what I preach in the sense that, if it were Dean behaving like this I'd be talking abt his own grief and pain and motivating factors. and i think that applies to cas in this case. he's still in a lot of pain. Cas also bound by his empty deal, possibly purposely keeping Dean at arms length out of fear of triggering the deal if they reconcile too well. We see that "arms length" maneuver at play imo when Dean has more he wants to say and Cas cuts him off. I think, perhaps, part of Cas felt SAFE while they were "divorced" / fighting because at least then he KNEW he'd never be truly happy. Which just breaks my heart for both of them.

Anyways. Dean. We know he's a self aware king. And he's also incredibly emotionally intelligent when it comes to others. Empathy boy, etc. and Cas is his best friend. He knows Cas better than anyone else. And I think he knows Cas is beating himself up. Feeling guilty for everything AND displacing that guilt and anger. Because yea, Dean's been there. And dean's dealt with Sam and John doing similar things too. He understands. And yea it sucks that he's once again putting the feelings of others first, but at the same time, that's his MO. He's the one who cares abt everyone. He's the beating heart of the narrative. And he loves cas. He does. So of course he's going to make sure Cas knows he's forgiven (was always forgiven! implicitly!) and that Cas matters to him. He's his best friend. He never wanted him to leave! (the cut "of course I wanted you to stay" IS canon to me. He said that part quietly, internally, ok).

I view the whole prayer as Dean giving Cas what he needs. Telling Cas what he needs to hear in that moment (and it's not that I think dean doesn't means these things, he does! but I think dean didn't think it needed to be said-- that Dean forgives Cas. that Cas matters to him. but again, Cas is not at his best. In normal circumstances I think Cas wouldn't need to hear it. But just as DEAN is doubting what's real, what matters, I think so is Cas. Yes he told Dean they were what's real, but a lot has happened since then. He let bel's words in hell get to him a bit, for one. He's now feeling out of place in his family, not sure if he ever mattered at all. And so he needs a little reassurance imo. And that's what the prayer scene is to me. It's not about Dean begging to be forgiven. It's dean giving Cas what he needs for Cas to be able to forgive himself.)

As for the stuff abt Dean apologizing for his "anger" -- anger that was justified and part of his grief (he is allowed to be upset that his "son" killed his mom!)-- and "groveling": I don't like it. I don't like that Dean is seemingly positioned as "the bad guy" and the reason for their separation when Cas was the one who CHOSE to leave instead of stay and work things out. And when Cas, in his own pain, stopped giving Dean "the benefit of the doubt."

However. Despite hating it all from a deangirl perspective, I think from DEAN'S own perspective, this IS stuff he believes about himself. Dean has his own fears and insecurities and I think being "angry" and "becoming John" are genuine fears. And I think it's important to remember that what characters say about themselves isn't the Objective Truth. We KNOW Dean is most often "not mad, worried." We KNOW Dean cares so so much and loves so fiercely. We know he's more than his "off" moments. We give him that benefit of the doubt. But Dean? He'll beat himself up for everything. And Cas echos this in the confession when he tells Dean "you see yourself how our enemies see you....You think that hate and anger, that's what drives you. It's not." As much as I think yea Cas should've said all this sooner, I think this part is indeed a response to Dean's prayer. And it's basically Cas saying, "yea all that stuff you said earlier abt always being angry and your anger being the problem, no you're wrong<3 and I do know that you care so so much. About me and jack and sam and the whole world. And everything you do comes from a place of love and good intentions."

Would I have liked to have heard Cas say all this immediately after the prayer and would it have been more effective in relaying the message that Cas doesn't think Dean is ruled by anger or that Dean needs to grovel for his forgiveness over it? yea. yea I think the confession coming 9 episodes later kind of breaks up the flow of this arc. But in this reading, I am willing to give Cas some grace. Right after the prayer they were still under a lot of stress to get back to earth and stop Chuck. Cas is also feeling conflicted abt his deal. Not knowing what he CAN say to Dean. What is even safe to say. And the fact that (imo) a big part of Cas's moment of happiness IS getting to tell Dean how good he is and not Just the declaration of love, just shows that maybe it Wasn't safe for Cas to say all these things to Dean earlier.

Anyways. This has gotten very long but I just wanted to offer a different perspective, that doesn't absolve Cas of his wrong-doings or the part he played in their separation, but is more considerate of Cas's own POV. AND shows Dean being thee heart of the narrative and giving Cas what Cas needs to hear, being emotionally intelligent, but also being just as insecure as anyone else re: his own self-image.

publishing this now because i think you're making a lot of sense and i cannot tell you how much i appreciate your perspective and the time you took to lay it out! i want to respond more thoroughly later but i didn't want to let this languish when it's so dang important and helpful.

[lemotmo]

They got an ask about Buck/Eddie being written like Hen/Chimney. Because of course 🙄

A. Good evening anon, my week has been pretty decent, thank you. I hope yours was as well. Buck/Eddie are not written or played remotely similarly to Hen/Chimney. Their dynamics are purposely different. I don't know if you belong to the group of viewers whose knowledge of the show only consists of 6 episodes from season 7, but based on your ask, I'm going to assume that you are. But even if your knowledge is relegated to season 7 exclusively you should still be able to see the difference. Hen and Chimney are your textbook besties for life. They support each other. They cry with and cheer for one another. And sometimes even share one braincell. But they have always been shown to have lives separate from one another and their friendship (that's part of the show history you're deliberately avoiding). I believe Chimney has had one scene with Denny (Hen and Karen's son) throughout the entirety of the show's run. Buck and Christopher's relationship is its own unit within the show. They have episodes and arcs devoted to the two of them (that pesky show history again, sorry). Buck is not written as his sudo uncle. He's not written as his dad's best friend who occasionally babysits. He is a coparent. Eddie and Buck had one episode, Eddie's first episode, and it wasn't even the full episode, where they weren't written as immediately living in the pocket of each other. The show made a point of developing Hen and Chimney outside of their friendship. The show has deliberately chosen not to do that with Buck and Eddie. It's a season after season writing choice. It's why Kenny, Aisha, and Tim can all easily use the word friendship to describe Hen/Chimney. It's also why Oliver, Ryan and Tim cannot use the word friendship to describe Buck and Eddie. It's why in interview after interview they all struggle to describe it. The word friendship does not feel right or remotely strong enough to describe their relationship. And they all know it (again, it's that lousy show history).

It's okay to say you don't want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know what that means for Tommy. That's okay. You're allowed to hate it solely for what it means to that character. We all hate something that is canon. I hate several canon things. I won't tell you all of them, but I will share one that seems minor to a lot of people, but fills me with rage. When the show had Buck tell Eddie that he thinks Natalia 'sees' him I wanted to burn the studio to the ground. Evan Buckley looked Eddie Diaz in the face and actually said out loud that someone he just met is the person who makes him feel seen (even typing the words out made my face hot). Eddie Diaz who knows Evan Buckley better than anyone else in the world had to listen to those words be said about someone else. I hate it. I hate it so much that any time anyone mentions that scene around me all my friends groan because they know I'm about to go on a rant. I don't pretend I hate it for any other reason except it made me upset on Eddie's behalf. That's it. To me it felt wrong, wildly out of place, especially considering Buck had known her all of 5 minutes, and I thought it was stupid. That's it. I don't try to convince everyone that my feelings towards that scene are about some greater morality point. I hate it because I hate it. And that's all that matters. I don't know who told you all that you're not allowed to not want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know they'll put him with Buck. That's the reason you don't want it. Say it. You can. No one will judge you for you saying that. People are judging you because you're pretending it's all this other greater good for television bullshit. It's not. It's not because television needs a straight/queer bestie combo, those are everywhere, including 911, hello Hen and Chimney. It's not because television needs a straight man who's not afraid of his emotions. It's not because putting them in a relationship would ruin one of the best platonic relationships on television. It's none of those things. It's because he would be with Buck. Period. Just own it. It's fine.

The only problem with admitting it means you're also admitting that once his arc with Buck is complete there is no purpose for Tommy. That's why you don't want to admit it. You guys have spent the entire hiatus letting people convince you that he's becoming an integral part of the show. That he's going to have storylines and episodes devoted to him and his past. He's not. Even if they keep him around as a boyfriend for a bit he will still just exist on the fringes of the show. He will never be important as a stand alone character. The show has given zero indication that he is anything more than a plot point. They just haven't. And maybe you all are correct, and Tim has spent the downtime thinking of ways to make him more permanent. But that is very unlikely. Everything we've seen so far, including the decision to release that deleted clip, seems to indicate he has a very particular story purpose, and once they've told that particular part of the story, his services will no longer be required. You can hate it. You have absolutely every right to hate it. It doesn't matter if I, or anyone else, ever understands why you hate it. You can hate it. But it won't make it less true. It will just be part of the canon that you hate. And that's okay.

Okay, I wouldn't know what to add to this to be honest. Every single thing that has been on my mind for some time now is right there, in the answer above. The only difference is that the OP managed to summarise all of it in a few paragraphs. It would probably have taken me hours and pages of text to say what they just said in their answer.

I just want to add on thing. It's true, we all have canon parts of the show that we hate. Mine is the lawsuit arc. I can't watch it anymore. I can't even read fics that deal with the lawsuit. That is how much I hate it. I hated how they made Buck sue the Fire Department and how they made him tell that lawyer all about his friends' private lives. I absolutely detest it, because it made me dislike Buck during that time. And I've always loved Buck, even season 1 Buck. I eventually got over it and forgave Buck around the same time Eddie did. I will always hate that arc, but I also realise that it happened and that it will forever be a part of Buck's character arc.

This will be part of the canon that I hate. And that's okay. It won't make me love the show any less, but it will always be there.

What are the canon parts of the show that you hate(d)?

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[puhpandas]

Evan and Greg are basically your oc's!, what is your interpretation of Micheal in the modern au. Also how does mike not see Evan as a person?

Also flashlight duo is super cute

Has Evan ever been bullied at school?

the ocification beam hit them too hard...

I view Michael in my flashlight duo universe as being like. not how a lot of people portray him. as in he doesnt lash out for a reason. he isnt acting that way towards Evan because William told him to.

it's for sure affected by William's own actions, but as in Michael subconsciously learned those things. he isn't even on William's side really. he sucks as a father to both of them. it's just that michael doesnt respect Evan enough to see him as someone who is supposed to be on his side

Michael subconsciously learned growing up that everything Evan is is bad. and the cool people his age see people like Evan as weak, so he does too.

he lacks any emotional maturity, so a lot of his actions towards Evan are out of his own boredom and resent. he genuinely thinks his reactions are funny. if he ever did realize what he did was wrong, he would have to actually realize. he knows fully that what he does hurts Evan. he just doesn't care. he hasn't developed the intuition he needs to care. you know?

and Michael is around 16 if evan is 12. it's not that hes too young to understand, it's the lack of good parenting, or literally parenting in general. if Evans life is hell because everyone around him hates him, then that means its true. it means the people in hurricane dont like people like Evan (a boy who at his age should be getting manlier, but isnt. sensitive and emotional and physically small and lanky. evan literally has anxiety and paranoia and is neurodivergent and people dont really acknowledge that but they notice. and they don't like it)

the people in their town suck and are mean and so is Michael's father. so of course hes going to stick to what hes been taught and to everybody else who also believes it and is on his side. he was never taught that what hes doing is wrong. hes a bad person but it's a product of horrible parenting and the worst town in the world

in contrast to Michael, in the neglect and bullying Evan has faced its made him kinder. he is the one facing it so he wants to be kind to others instead of being like the people he hates.

I dont want to say he would be more in tune with his emotions than Michael because he wouldn't be. before Gregory, he was so unstable and miserable he was just a big ball of anxiety and emotions. he didnt understand his emotions and have that country mile on Michael's own emotional maturity because he didnt have it in him to learn

and by that I mean he didnt even like himself enough to want to help himself. hed been taught that theres fundamentally something wrong with him that makes him bad and weird and not like anyone else who's impossible to 'fix'. and hed been hearing that since he was a young kid, so of course hed believe it.

but then Gregory comes alone and slowly tries to strip away what Evan had been taught just by being kind to him and repeating kind things. the opposite of what everyone else did.

and that is what makes Evan begin to change for the better. the first thing he learns is that Gregory doesn't think something is super wrong with him that makes him bad and stupid so he starts to believe it a little, too. he begins to see how maybe how hes being treated is unfair and its him seeing himself as worthy of kindness that makes him upset on his own behalf. and what that means is he has better self esteem when before he was so insecure he could never even defend himself a little bit

and its after he gains some respect for himself that he learns how to help himself. he actually thinks he deserves it now, so with his support system in Gregory and his family he learns how he works. he learns what his phobias are and what sets him off and how to calm himself down. and of course he hoped all the way through that changing could be what 'fixes' him and the people around him wouldnt hate him so much. but like I said before its that self respect that confirms it's for himself and not for others

of course that stuff doesnt go away, but he improves. the people around him do notice. they dont care enough to say anything, they're more just suprised or happy hes shutting up in that mean way of theirs. but I think after a while of Evan being comfortable with Gregory and improving himself he would one day just snap.

before, he had layers and layers of nervousness and fear and anxiety and insecurity stopping his very high emotions from boiling over. and with the newfound respect for himself comes the anger on his own behalf of how hes treated.

so i feel like one day he would just blow up with all the emotion without the insane amount of fear stopping him. and it doesnt help, not really.

before, evan wanted to please michael and his father. but now that he wants them to know how much he hates them and how much they hurt him, they are pleased.

he gained more respect but in the worst way. not the way he wanted.

but back to their relationship, I think post-all of this, evan wouldnt want anything to do with him. let's say Michael does have a wake up call when they're both older. hes already ruined his relationship so much its unsalvageable. he caused evan to develop fundamental issues rooted deep (anxiety and paranoia, general things he learned about the world and certain people/groups and traits that he'll have to remind himself arent true) inside of him.

his family had their chance and they blew it hard. evan is definitely in the right to want nothing to do with him or William and to continue growing up and living and laughing with his actual family in his heart. they never get to make it official, but that doesn't matter.

anyway I went on like. a lot lol. for anyone who havent read my oneshot series this is based completely off of that au of mine and in my mind is canon to every oneshot if you do read them. thanks for enabling me to talk about flashlight duo lol you can tell I put so much thought into them every day its crazy

edit: to answer your actual questions lol: it's not that Michael literally doesn't see Evan as a human person, it's that he doesnt respect him enough to treat him with human respect. you know? everything evan is he has been taught is bad and worthless so that's what he thinks. so by extension evan is too

and yeah evan does get bullied at school. I always imagined it was less bullies pushing him into lockers and stealing his lunch money (Williams ass does not give him lunch money let's be real) and more that they just treat him awful. hes either invisible or in the way and then they dont care to be super rude to him. they dont just spout their exact thought process out but they all think of him badly and view him as a big joke. its less blatant meanness and more just treating him awful in general and that's what makes Evan think its normal and that hes asking for it when its not.

[to-the-stars8]

Learning to Love Slowly

Jason Todd x Reader All Chapters AO3

40-Batcaves and Dead Robins

“So…Jason, are you bringing your girlfriend to dinner tonight?” Bruce asked suddenly.

At the question, everyone went silent and turned to hear his answer. Jason sneered at him because he hated being put on the spot like that, especially in front of everyone. There was a few moments of silence before he finally decided to say something. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t asked her if she wanted to come,” He said.

Dick, on behalf of his father, rolled the chair from the batcomputer over to his brother’s phone on the table nearby. Despite Jason’s irritation at the invasion of privacy, especially since his password was now obviously compromised, he didn’t make a move to take the phone from him. 

After a few seconds, after the message was sent, there was a ding. There wasn’t too much wondering from the crowd surrounding him about what you said, because as soon as it appeared on the screen Dick read it aloud. 

“Of course, Jaybeans, I’d love to! By the way, do you really think your Pops will let me see the Batcave?” Dick then added on his own commentary after seeing Jason’s face, “Don’t be too upset, Jaybird. It’s the last family dinner before the new year, let’s make it fun!” 

Bruce chuckled in response to his eldest son, only meeting Jason’s angry eyes briefly before quietly surrendering himself to the idea of staying out of it. Taking his phone back while mumbling about how no one there wouldn’t know how to respect boundaries if it hit them in the face, Jason then disappeared upstairs. 

He didn’t mind you coming over—Hell, he wanted you there, but he also hated suddenly springing things like this on you. Jason was about to message explaining what had happened when you replied again. 

Should I wear the dress you like so much?

Okay, maybe he wanted you there a bit more than he initially thought because the thought of you in that pretty little pale pink dress drove him wild. After all, it would be nice to see you after the tough time you had with your exams. 

When you arrived Jason met you at the door with a kiss, and Dick ran out greeting you like a dog after its owner arrived home from a long vacation. He was excited, pulling you in with Jason trailing behind the cave. 

“It’s kind of weird to have someone who’s not, ya know—”

“Wait, wait, wait. Dick,” You laughed. “Let me get my bearings first. I’d like to say hello to Alfred and your Dad before I go invading the most personal of your family’s spaces.”

“But—”

“Dick,” Jason warned. Reluctantly, he let you go.

Bruce and Alfred were thrilled to see you back in their home, saying how long it had been and how much your presence was missed. You felt so welcomed whenever you entered the Wayne Manor as they seemed so happy to have, as they described it, someone normal around for a change. Well, the second normal person. Apparently, Tim had been dating a civilian, too, named Bernard. 

The entire time Dick had been impatiently waiting to show you the Batcave, and, by the time dinner had been served, gave up on showing it to you at all. Jason didn’t care whether or not you saw the cave, and, in fact, preferred the latter. 

There was too much history in the cave, happy and sad, that he felt like he would have to explain. To Jason, the cave was nothing more than a pit of despair and longing that he knew would turn anyone with common sense. 

Forgetting the cave, dinner was great. You seemed more than happy to be there, and Jason was more than pleased, especially seeing you in that dress. The dinner had gone so great that everyone had insisted you stay longer to play some of their games. You joined in with such enthusiasm that Jason already knew you might be stuck at home with him for the night. 

Watching you beat Dick and Stephanie in Mario Kart earned you an extremely special place in the household as one of the greatest players of the game, a title previously owned by Steph. Soon enough, Tim was going around to the whole group gathering money on who would win in the next round, all bets going to you. Unfortunately, just as your luck was up, Stephanie quickly earned back her rightful name. 

You handed over the controller to Jason, “You play now. I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Oh, do you need me to show you…”

“I’m fine, I’ll be right back, honeybee.” With that and a kiss, you were gone. 

Jason watched you go. The first few minutes you were gone he thought about following you, just to make sure you didn’t get lost in the twisted maze of the manor but decided against it. 

It wasn’t until the third round he had played did he start to get worried that you were lost. Excusing himself, Jason got up to go find you. The halls were empty and, for once, quiet. He was worried you had left without saying anything until he had come across Alfred. 

“She’s with Bruce down in the Batcave,” Was all he said before stepping away. 

Jason didn’t know how to feel at that information, especially since he wasn’t there with you. As he made his way to the cave entrance a thousand rushed thoughts were going through his mind. Did you like the cave? What were you thinking? How in the hell did you end up there with Bruce of all people? 

Shaking off his trainwreck of an inner voice, he tipped-toed on the stairs down to where the two of you were. When he got down to the platform he could hear you and Bruce talking, voices echoing clearly. 

“It’s small,” You said. 

Jason, standing back and slightly hiding, could see the two of you standing in front of the glass cases of old suits. The two of you were in front of his, making his heart sink as you stared at it. Even from across the cave it was obvious how fucked the suit was from what had happened with the Joker and that building. There were spots of blood on the yellow and green and black spots from the soot of the explosion. 

All remnants of a dead Robin. 

Bruce chuckled, thoughtfully and somberly. “He was a small kid.”

“You would never guess it now,” You remarked. It was a joke, but the way you said it was like you were thinking out loud. The wheels in your head were turning, and Jason wanted to know what thoughts your head was cranking out. “I—I can’t imagine what it was like for you, Mr. Wayne, as his mentor and a father. I’m sorry.”

Bruce was quiet for a few seconds before finally saying, “Thank you. I regret what happened every day. He was—No, sorry, still is a good boy. ”

“He’s a softie.” You patted Bruce’s arm. “And a good person.”

“I know, and every day I wonder where he got all that from.”

Jason sat there in stunned silence. His heart was thumping in his chest and all he wanted to do was bury his head in your chest while he cried. It had been so long since someone called him, an over six-foot-tall brick house of a man, a boy, much less a good one. 

Suddenly, Bruce changed the subject, “Jason, when did you get down here?”

Jason was sure Bruce had known he was there far longer than he showed but spared him the embarrassment of getting caught by you. You turned around fast with surprise before melting into an expression that just gave away how happy you were to see him. Laughing lightly at himself, he walked toward the two of you. 

“A few seconds ago. Dick was getting annoying.”

You giggled, “I’m sorry to have bailed. I ran into your dad on the way back from the bathroom and he offered to show me the cave and…” You gestured all around you. To him it wasn’t much, but, as far, as he could tell, you liked it. “Don’t think I could resist getting a tour from the Dark Knight himself.”

He couldn’t see the appeal in what you described, but the cave and Bruce had become such an odd norm to him. He nodded over to the glass case. “Bruce told you the sob story of the dead bird.”

“No,” You said. “No birds here.”

Jason thought about rebuffing your words when he realized what you meant. Right, there were no dead birds. Just a dead kid. His eyes shifted over to Bruce whose eyes were looking glassier than usual. And, a dead son.

Jason cleared his throat. “We better get back upstairs, Dick’s gonna be pissed when he hears he wasn’t the one to give you the grand tour.”

“That’s right,” You said. “Let’s go. Are you coming, Mr. Wayne? I’d like to hear some more silly Jay-Jay stories.”

Bruce finally tore his eyes away to look at you and nodded. Clapping his hand on Jason’s shoulder and your’s he guided the two of you back upstairs. Though, usually apprehensive to his father’s touches, Jay tried not to be too quick to push away this time. 

It was the least a good dead son could do for his grieving father. It would be a good New Year’s resolution anyway, to breach the gap between him and Bruce. 

Just as the three of you emerged from the clock entrance upstairs, Dick entered the room. Looking distressed, he whined, “Did you show her the cave without me?”

[tinysnailtales]

Thoughts from reading Yona of the Dawn Ch. 5

Ch.5 in summary: a frozen and numb Yona begins to stir and awaken back to life after being cared for by an extra dedicated Hak.

Once again, present Yona is a reflection of past Yona – she has shut down and isn't eating, is numb/depressed and neglecting taking care of herself/life.

Luckily, present Yona still has Hak to act as a caregiver and force her to keep going.

"If you don't want fish, I can catch a bird" – amongst the pain, HELLO Hak is the most adorable provider.

"She's getting weaker and weaker. And not just physically. Time's passing, but she still can't face the reality of the situation. His majesty's death...Soo-Won's betrayal..."

Yona is completely vulnerable in front of Hak and he is so gentle with her even as he's disheartened by her state, it's really sweet.

But while Yona is stuck in the moment of Soo-Won's betrayal and too numb to face reality, perhaps Hak is only focused on keeping moving and isn't fully letting himself face his own feelings about what happened or think them through. He's neglecting himself to prioritize the princess and sticking with snap judgments.

Yona's literal nakedness in front of Hak emphasizes her vulnerability and reliance on him. And while she is comfortable with him, in her state she doesn't even have the capacity to feel embarrassment or shame.

Hak would also probably make a bigger deal about seeing Yona naked, but her wellbeing comes first. However, he isn't completely immune to his attraction and romantic affection, dashing off as soon as he can and thinking "Crap, don't get any funny ideas. Normally she would have hit me." He tries to stop indecent thoughts even if that element is still there, but ultimately, his thoughts go back to her condition.

"How long...is she going to be in this condition? She doesn't eat. She goes wherever I put her. She's like a doll."

Hak cares about the real Yona, not her appearance, not her status. He wishes for and misses the Yona that would have hit him. He doesn't want a beautiful puppet, he wants Yona and her full fire and personality.

My heart also just breaks for her. Thank goodness she has someone to rely on and take care of her in this moment of brokenness.

"Are you happy now...? The years we spent together...the princess who adored you...you destroyed them all. Are you satisfied...Soo-Won?" – Hak is PISSED. And on Yona's behalf for the most part. He has some "if you won't hate Soo-Won, then I will" energy. Focusing on "how could you do this to her" over "how could you do this to me?"

I think he also questions how anyone could throw all of that away–the bonds they had and the adoration of Princess Yona.

Hak's discovery of the hairpin gives him a specific anger too. How could she have kept it after what happened? He realizes that Yona still cherishes Soo-Won. This gives him extra rage and pain as he deals with the fallout and sees how Soo-Won's actions have affected Yona.

Hak knows Yona, he knows how much the hairpin means to her and that she's looking for it. It's the symbol of her affection for Soo-Won (and maybe to her, a bit of a symbol of Soo-Won's affection for her?), and she's not ready to part with it.

But he knows where it is and he's not going to say anything. At least not yet. He's upset. And he wants her to move on and face the truth of what Soo-Won did.

"I don't need that thing. I don't need it at all" – Yona tries to tell herself she doesn't need to hold on to Soo-Won, but she can't let go. He meant too much to her for too long.

Like what he told her– "I think your hair's wonderful. It's the color of the sky at dawn" – he was her light and hope. She is haunted by his words.

It is interesting that it's Soo-Won's words that prophesize what I assume is Yona's future role– she will be the dawn, bringing hope and a new era.

HANDS

When Soo-Won slapped Yona's hand away I said that there are important ~hand moments~ in this story and ignore the whole excuse of having to go to the bathroom and look! at! this! hand! grab! Look at the close-up and the middle panel! And he doesn't let go until she leaves.

Yona continues to be haunted by Soo-Won's words, only this time they are words from the other side of him. She is stuck in the moment of his betrayal and her father's death. She tries to block it out ("I don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear anymore"), but it's all she can hear, it's all she can see.

And this happening as she searches for the hairpin, the symbol of her affection for Soo-Won– she is conflicted, torn in half and confused about what to think and feel. It's all too much at once. And it's either that or the numbness.

She's stuck and can't move forward.

It feels like this moment opens Yona's eyes, to Hak specifically. Like she finally realizes he's there, caring for her.

And as with hating Soo-Won, Hak says "if you won't care about yourself, then I will care about you."

"Think of me as a tool. With his majesty gone...you are my master. Use me however you have to...to survive. That's...why I'm here."

THIS MOMENT

What a contrast to young Hak resisting serving the king and not wanting to be heir to the Wind Tribe or Yona's guard. Now it has become his purpose in life to protect Yona. He fully puts her above his own safety and life. He doesn't even seem to value himself and his own life at all, or at the very least views himself as a means to an end. Like he's a shield more than a person. And this moment reflects why he gave in to this life– for Yona specifically.

But Yona is clearly affected by this moment and statement from Hak. He's getting through to her, in more ways than one.

Yona finally sees outside of herself. And feels something in general, breaking from the numbness. She worries for Hak and is upset that he's hurt (and got hurt protecting her). And this feeling will continue to follow her and propel her forward.

Hak of course, though clearly in pain, shrugs it off for her sake.

"I'll never forgive Soo-Won. But the important thing is that...I want you to live. Looking for that hairpin...was the first thing you did of your own volition since we entered the mountains. Right now...I need something to hold you together. It doesn't matter what it is. Even if...it's a feeling you can't let go of."

Hak says "fuck that guy, but if he keeps you alive, then I'll accept. You're more (most) important"

HAK, you are a star this chapter. So many great moments and keeps saying what Yona needs to hear.

Her affection for Soo-Won and desperation to hold onto it might have stirred her awake and made her act, but Hak getting injured and saving her is what will really keep her going.

Yona is truly seeing the light (and is gorgeous)

She kind of parallels how Hak ends the last chapter– looking up (forward?) and this is progress from her place at the end of the last chapter, moving from emptiness and sorrow to seeing more.

Yona says "you say you're fine, but I don't believe you!!! And that won't stop me from worrying and caring!"

Whether it was his actions or his words or Yona's concern for him (or all of the above!), Yona continues to emerge from her cocoon to the point of offering thoughts on their situation.

And Hak is taking Yona to his homeland as a place of safety, which feels symbolic.

This chapter is basically: Hak, the man that you are. But it's also beautiful to see Yona start to break free from her depressed state.

[websterss]

I strongly believed that if you had found out what Ethan does to anyone who looks even breaths the same air as you

And it causes you to hate him because that he either will be heartbroken or he may kill you but we all know

He wouldn't kill you he would have to get Quinn or Wayan to kill you after they kill you he would

Be so heart broken because he had to do that, which he strongly did not want to do

But if you found out and like it made you love him even more he would be so confused but happy that you didn't hate him for it

I have to wrap my head around this for a sec 🤔 okay done…

If we’re going down the path of hating him, and you discovered that he killed everyone who looked at you or breathed on you then you’d think back to all those moments and the faces.

“What did you do?”

“I killed them all!”

“All of them…”

“Every one!” He nod so proudly.

Your mind thinks back to the girl who you had collided with. You both apologizing to one another as you both collected your discarded things from your bags. Or the man that tried hitting on you on the street, the guy at Central Park with the dog. Ethan had been adamant that his dog didn’t just take off on its own. That he ordered it to approach you with the chew toy. You’d ask…

“How would you know?” And he’d whistle, and you’d turn as you heard the pitter pattering of its nails on the floor.

“I told you there was no way he got lose on his own. He’s actually quite well trained look…play dead!” You’d gape in fear as the dog lay down on its side.

You try and flee but he’d slam the door closed shut. “Don’t do this. We’re fine. This is just a bump in the road. Don’t make me have to kill you…please!” You cry hoping not to end up like one of them, but little did you know you would.

If we’re going the “you like it” path. You’d stare at him speechless for a second trying to process the fact that he was clearing a path for you. Getting rid of people who socialized or brushed you in the slightest bit. On one hand it feels romantic. On the other you knew that you had to stop him.

“You gotta stop.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“You can’t just kill someone on my behalf just cause they looked at me funny. Like why would you waste your time on someone who didn’t even cross my mind afterwards. Can you be a little more smart about this?” You shake your head. Ethan would have assumed you’d be upset, hurt, devastated yet here you were judging his motives, his thought process.

“You’re not mad…”

“That you killed people for stupid reasons, yeah, I am. At you…not really.”

“Thought you’d freak.”

“Then you don’t know me at all Ethan Landry.” Your lips upturns in a faint smile.

[messymindofmine]

Now that I've had some time to really process things, I really do understand why Carlos did what he did. I'm also not surprised that he didn't tell TK bc we all know communication is not one of Carlos’s strengths. What does bother me though is the fans that refuse to acknowledge that Carlos has done something wrong by keeping his marriage a secret from TK. What bothers me is that any time a fan expresses the slightest bit of anger at the situation or on TK's behalf, they're bombarded with anon messages telling them they're wrong and bringing up every single mistake that TK has ever made. What bothers me is the fans that act like TK isnt completely allowed to be upset with Carlos for keeping this a secret from him for so long. Those are the things that bothered me. It's possible to be understanding about why Carlos kept all this a secret and still acknowledge that it was wrong.

I actually do understand why the writers chose to go this direction even if I don't like the way it was done. The fact of the matter is that Carlos has never been perfect. His flaws have always been there for everyone to see, it's just that many fans refused to see them. Whenever there was conflict between Carlos and TK in the past, TK has been the one to bear the blame even though there has been fault on both sides. Case in point, their s3 break up. Yeah the way TK reacted to Carlos buying them a house was disproportionate but people seem to completely overlook the fact that Carlos bought a house without even consulting TK on it. TK reacted the way he did bc he has always struggled with feeling like he's worthy of Carlos and he's always had a fear of losing things and so with this going so well, he panicked. This is literally stated in the show yet people were still so quick to jump on the TK hate train and insist that Carlos should make TK work to earn Carlos’s love back. The biggest irony is that I have yet to see anyone saying that Carlos isn't worthy of TK or that he should have to earn TK's love back since 4x01. And you know what? People shouldn't be saying that. What people are saying though is that they are upset that Carlos has always wanted TK to give him everything of himself ("I want all the parts") yet has held back something so big from him. It seems clear to me that some people just don't know how to handle Carlos being unequivocally in the wrong without the option of shifting all the blame onto TK. Hence why anytime a fan dares to vent on their own blog, they have to deal with people sending them messages listing mistakes TK has made as though any of those things are even relevant in this situation or they're just being blasted for being upset about it. Not only that but apparently we're not even allowed to praise how well TK handled it. It's OK to love Carlos and still acknowledge he has flaws guys. Certainly for me, my feelings on Carlos have not changed even though I'm upset about him not telling TK.

The thing that upsets me the most though is I think we all know that if TK had been the one to have a secret marriage, people would have been clamoring for his head. But this time there is no mutual blame and even TK's reaction can't be used against him bc he reacted so amazingly. The fact of the matter is, people in this fandom have been constantly questioning TK's worthiness in a way that nobody ever has with Carlos. And even now, I haven't seen anyone doing that with Carlos and they shouldn't be. That's why I understand why the writers chose this for Carlos bc I honestly can't think of anything else that would force people to confront Carlos’s flaws properly. Especially since even in the moments when Carlos has displayed his flaws, TK is still the one that ends up bearing the blame. Case in point, 3x13 where people were mad at TK for not "opening up to Carlos" bearing in mind that Tim (who is a recovering addict himself and thus if anyone knows a thing or two about this it's him) even explained that TK was actually doing the right thing by not including Carlos in this particular part of his life. And even despite that beautiful scene where TK explains his reasoning to Carlos, people were still trashing him. Carlos has shown a lot of growth over the seasons but true growth can only come once you actually confront the root of your issues. Of course, confronting the cause isn't going to magically make the issues go away. After all, TK knows why he struggles with his issues but he still struggles at times. But at least once you confront your issues, you can learn how to deal with them better. Carlos has never confronted his parents on how their own lack of communication and the pressure they put on him affected him. And the Reyes parents have never acknowledged how they've hurt Carlos. That's why that line from Andrea about having a talk with TK 3x04 rubs me the wrong way bc not only did Andrea not have any idea why TK broke up with Carlos, she never bothers to think about why Carlos was so afraid of letting them down and instead working on that. And then there were the fans writing fics about Andrea lecturing a bedridden TK and TK apologizing to Andrea. The only person TK owed anything at all to was Carlos and yet fans act like Andrea had any right to be lecturing TK on anything. And now this new revelation and the fact that Andrea apparently knew about it, makes the line even worse. We can call it sloppy writing if we want but the complete lack of self-awareness does line up with Andrea's character as well. Lmao can you imagine if Owen had ever even mentioned having a talk with Carlos even at the beginning of their relationship? Even though Owen at the time had very good reasons to be concerned about TK starting a new relationship but we all know people would have been calling for Owen's head if he had. And I'll bet they'd do the same now. As I've said before, the way this fandom deifies Gabriel and Andrea baffles me. Yes they love Carlos but they've also hurt Carlos in ways that Owen has never hurt TK yet this is completely glossed over.

All in all, as I said, I'm not mad about Carlos marrying Iris bc I can see why he would do that. I don't like him having kept it a secret from TK and I do think it's something that needs to be called out but I also get why he wouldn't bring it up bc it does fit his character. What makes me mad is the hypocrisy I've seen where the same people who have literally used TK bringing home a lizard to prove how he's not worthy of Carlos are now saying that fans have no right to be upset at this revelation or be upset on TK's behalf.

I am planning on making a post soon about the way some people in this fandom behave towards TK and how that reeks of ableism be it conscious or subconscious. As someone who is able to relate to TK on a very personal level, some of the stuff I've seen actually pains me

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Perfect on Paper Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's the best advice you've ever received or given? ❓ 🦇 High school junior Darcy Phillips has a secret identity as the relationship advice expert behind Locker 89. Leave a letter along with $10 and she'll provide the perfect solution to your relationship woes. So far, she hasn't been caught...that is, until Alexander Brougham catches her collecting letters. He'll keep her secret...if she can fix his relationship post-break-up, that is. Can Darcy help Brougham win his girlfriend back (without strangling the entitled, rich, yummy-Australian-accent-slinging swimmer) in the process?

💜 Perfect on Paper was nominated for a Goodreads Choice Award (Best Young Adult Fiction - 2021) and it's no wonder. This was the exact book bisexual baby me needed a decade ago. Though I've read a multitude of books featuring bisexual FMCs, Sophie Gonzales is the first to capture the authenticity of internalized biphobia. I'll admit I was sheltered enough that it took me a while to realize bi was even an option for me. Bisexual erasure didn't help; once I self-identified, I was given the oh-so-cliche, "that's not real," and "it's just a phase." Bitch, I'm a moon goddess; I'm in a new phase every day of my life. ANYWAY. Darcy is authentic in her concern that a crush over a guy invalidates her bi-ness. The Queer & Questioning Club scene where Darcy's community validates her was everything (and truly got me misty-eyed).

💜 The advice column aspect of the story was brilliant. Darcy's letters are written in a tone that's patient and empathetic yet informative and encouraging. She'd obviously done her research and it shows, but you see her mentally unravel the moment there's personal bias and it's BEAUTIFUL. Darcy isn't perfect. She's a high schooler, still figuring herself out. Yes, she's flawed, but she's also self-aware, willing to grow and change and take her own advice (or the advice she gets from her AMAZING trans big sister, who I adored).

💜 While this is a queer YA romance, there are so many layers beyond that. There's a mixed bag of diversity and personal trauma (and with that, potential for growth) to explore.

💙 The story DID take a minute to pick up speed, so the beginning left me waiting for a catalyst for momentum. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm no a fan of the miscommunication trope. HOWEVER, it does fit here, and proves how easily a tiny moment of misunderstanding can completely alter the course of a friendship. I did have to put the book down at one point, when Darcy's best friend outs her (I was super frustrated on Darcy's behalf because that betrayal was intense). I was disappointed that no one stepped forward and THANKED Darcy for her advice when she was getting attacked as the person behind Locker 89. People were upset BEFORE their letters were taken, but no one thanked Darcy until LONG after the situation cooled. Given Darcy's self-proclaimed success rate (was there a mention of HOW she knew she was successful, beyond the lack of refunds?), I expected a lot more praise for her abilities beyond one person.

🦇 Recommended to fans of Leah on the Offbeat and Imogen, Obviously, with a hint of To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Netflix's Sex Education.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 💌 Bisexual FMC (w/ Internalized Biphobia) 💌 Queer Young Adult Rom-Com 💌 Lots of Rep 💌 Hate-to-Love 💌 Friends to Lovers 💌 POC Sapphic Side Ship

💬 Quotes ❝ "Do you think there’s a chance that [...] you’re intellectualizing things so you don’t have to, you know, feel them?" ❞ ❝ I was sitting in the space between a sound and its echo. Brougham had asked a question, and I had to answer it. It was that, or keep dreaming about love, and working toward helping others find it, while never letting myself risk it. ❞ ❝ In some ways, we mirrored each other. We shared cracks in complementary places. ❞ ❝ Bi people are part of the queer community, and their identity does not change depending on who, if anyone, they happen to have feelings for or date at any given moment. ❞

[interdimensional-ship]

(assumption meme, for Magolor) - As much as you'd hate to admit it... perhaps you still, sometimes, miss the sheer power you briefly held after donning the Master Crown? You know better now. You know you can never do that again, for both your own sake and your friends. You don't NEED the crown's power. But would "normalcy" ever feel the same again, after you've experienced becoming something far beyond your usual self?

The mage winces at first, ears flattening against his head in a distinctly upset manner. Usually, when someone would say something to him that he didn't like, he would just hit them with that customer service demeanor and act like he didn't actually care. But this was something different.

"... Of course you people would think that."

It'd been... What, a few years since he ever talked about his experience with anyone? Even longer if only counting opening up about specifics. By now, most folks have gotten the memo that it isn't something he likes discussing, especially on someone else's whim. To call it a sore spot is a major understatement even now.

"To be honest with you? I really don't. Everyone seems to think it felt good to be that powerful. Even I thought I did in the moment. But it... That wasn't me anymore. Those were not my own feelings from my own experience. It was what that thing wanted me to feel— what it felt for me. On my behalf. Because if I'd been aware of what was actually going on, it would have had a harder time taking control."

He's begun quivering now, slightly. Trying to let this all out in a controlled manner is a lot harder when you weren't really expecting this to be among your day's activities. Let alone as a way of shutting down an unpleasant assumption being made.

"The power trip, that was just... a distraction. Its way of sedating me, at least until it felt confident that it had me in its grasp, and was free to use me as its latest... Flesh puppet, or vessel to manifest in, with minimal resistance. Once it had its foot in the door, so to speak, it was free to do what it wanted with the house. I don't think you want to know about its ideas about interior and exterior design."

The thought almost seems to make the scars under his hood throb, as if just bringing it up was enough to let it dig its claws in again from the great beyond. The mage bites his lip to hopeful snap himself out of it.

"... So, no. I don't want that kind of power. Never again. The only power I want is my own. Because if it's my own, I can be sure that it isn't going to take over my mind and body and then haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s true that normalcy doesn’t feel the same, but it sure beats having a crown digging its talons into your head as if it wants to see what your cranium feels like while you’re still alive.”

If he were feeling up to it, he would've throw in a "and the power of my friends" in there, but clearly this person doesn't think very highly of him. The last thing he needs is to have his words twisted into meaning some variation of planning to take advantage of others again. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, he has actually grown as a person, and part of that was leaving behind those old aspirations of power and influence.

Maybe in time he'll be able to leave behind his regrets and trauma, too.

[lonerbutluvertcc]

I’m always conflicted between staying and going.

I know that I have deep, deep feelings for him. I love him in a way that I’ve never loved anyone else in my life. I’ve had crushes before. I’ve been in love before. Nothing has compared to this tho. He literally consumes my every thought. My day is spent reminiscing on our memories together. I daydream about him all the time. Sometimes I can hardly sleep because he just won’t leave my mind.

I know how much walking away from him would destroy me. It would feel as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I don’t think I’d ever be able to love again. However, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make on his behalf.

I’m constantly worrying that I’m doing something wrong. Every message I send him, every time I touch him, every time I speak to him. I’m constantly worried about upsetting him or stressing him out. I’m worried that I message him too much. I’m worried that I’m too physically affectionate with him.

We get into fights sometimes and I hate it. I really do. I don’t know what to do. I start to think that all I’m doing is upsetting him and making him feel uncomfortable. I get prepared to leave but suddenly he does or says something that convinces me that he wants me to stay. I just wish I wasn’t so conflicted in my own head about the right thing to do

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

43 for the fanfic asks, is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet? 💙

In the interests of narrowing down the answer to this one, I'm going to answer it as though "haven't yet" means "haven't even made any notes on or started to write at all" because there's many I've got snippets, or starts, or notes, or partial drafts of, and to detail them all would be more than one post anyway. But yes, the answer to your question is yes. And the reason it doesn't have anything concrete started yet is that it's a very nebulous idea and requires a bit of a mindset shift and I am wanting to complete other things first.

Beyond Light happened during the pandemic, and I've been told by people who claim to know people at Bungie that there was supposed to be more Drifter & Eris content in it but that this was impacted by the lockdowns. I was told this when I was engaging in my frequent whining about how at one point in the questline you go to the camp and both Eris and the Drifter are just gone and no longer snarking back and forth over the fire. And we never find out what happens to them. And we never find out where they went or why.

External to the narrative, I now know why, but of course the whole thing with the Dark Vanguard was built up deliciously, and the interactions between them were clearly going somewhere and it just… never happened in-game for out-of-game reasons. Which feels so unfair. I love the shit out of Beyond Light and Europa, but I do mourn the Beyond Light that could have been.

So I do want to write oodles of "Eris & the Drifter have adventures on Europa" but that requires me getting into a mindset of them not-yet-together (which is not clearly stated in canon but in my head they weren't as close, emotionally, when they were on Europa as they are now) and my brain is still overflowing with all the other ideas and stories so I just haven't gotten around to that yet.

There's a couple of ways I might do it (or all of them - writing says I am god when I write and I can rewrite plot points I've already taken one way and send them in another and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me). One is to have the writing set in Beyond Light and do that "straight" (as if anything about those two is "straight" - heh). Another is to have them go there in a more current context and either experience memories or talk about what each one of them was thinking at different spots on Europa (this one is especially appealing to me since then they're the ones telling their own stories to each other, and I love having narratives come from their mouths and perspectives). It's also possible to have more found-object style delivery (recordings from Aunor, letters, log notes, voicemails, etc.) which is something else I really like to do.

Yet another thing I would really like to write and haven't yet, which could be combined with the Beyond Light bits or be its own thing is that in all the Moonrat Radio tagged stories I've written, they're largely recorded by Aunor who, if I start including Ikora in my Drifteris (another one I haven't gotten to yet - I want her to fight along side them and go on adventures with them - I think that'd be great - she's the Skinner to their Mulder & Scully and I want them to go be heroes together) will definitely no longer be wanting Aunor to be recording them on behalf of the Hidden. But Aunor is still likely doing so in spite of being told not to because she has some issues with obsession.

I imagine Aunor as driven, angry, upset, and unable to stop stalking them (and playing recordings of them over and over for 'reasearch' reasons), hating them for using Darkness and for getting to be so damn in love with each other because how it is fair that Darkness wielders should find love, never mind genuinely healthy and healing love? There's a scene in my mind that's only partially formed where both Eris and the Drifter are about to die quite permanently and Aunor shows up and saves them, screams at them how much she hates them, and then leaves sobbing. In my mind, Aunor, despite her extreme obession, is still a good person, just super bigoted and filled with cognitive dissonance as she tries to justify the existence of their love (something she is experiencing vicariously due to spying on them all the time) with her Praxic zealotry that condems anyone for using the Darkness. Something's gotta give and I think, when it comes down to it, Aunor will make the right choice, but it'll be super painful for her.

Ok I'm going to stop now. I could, of course, keep going but I should just write that and post it on Ao3 instead. :)