#ummmmm yeah. i like her. thank you so much for the ask though! id been wanting to talk about this

[valtsv]

This isn't a gotcha, so please don't take it as such, but would yuou be willing to explain what it is about VAL that makes her such a favourite of yours? I can't stand her myself, she comes across to me as a bully given god-like power that she abuses for her own amusement, and I've seen you acknowledge as much, but we draw completely different conclusions from that. I just want to understand your perspective.

i've been anticipating a question like this for a while now, so i'm more than happy to answer for you!

you're right, VAL is in some ways a "bully given godlike power" as you put it, and there's no avoiding that (nor do i want to). and yeah, i do like her in part because of that, because i have a fondness for horrible fictional characters and in particular "bad victim" archetypes, of which VAL certainly is one. but i think what makes her compelling to me, rather than repulsive, is that she is fundamentally a cautionary tale and a tragedy. in-universe, she's the scapegoat. the example. the "make the right choices or this could be you". she's inescapably, heartbreakingly human in her awfulness, and that makes her terrifying, but it also makes her deeply sad (at least to me).

i also strongly believe in rehabilitative/restorative justice, so for me, wanting better for VAL is about my real-world principles to a degree. i can't and won't argue that VAL doesn't function as an uncomfortable allusion to a lot of atrocious crimes against humanity (by humanity) within the narative, and that anyone who finds her upsetting or even hateful for these reasons is absolutely justified in doing so. however, she's still a fantasy entity at the end of the day. she's not a 1:1 stand-in for real-world abuses any more than, say, a vampire or werewolf, which plenty of people are more than happy to explore the nuances of. and there's also the question of what punitive measures would even achieve in her case, beyond personal satisfaction for the one administering or spectating them (which is not to say that wanting to punch VAL makes you as bad as she is, just that her arc is, among other things, about how cycles of abuse and violence perpetuate). the worst that could possibly happen to her has already happened. she's been tortured. she's been taken advantage of for her mistaken belief that working for and with the system has the opportunity to benefit her, and died for it. there's nothing to be "learned" from her punishment that hasn't already been shown to us. that she hasn't already internalised. if she were ever to develop a stable conscience, that would be punishment enough in my opinion.

despite being a victim of people not entirely unlike VAL, i personally am not her victim, so treating her with sympathy and kindness whilst acknowledging the elephant in the room that is her many (fictional) war crimes is not something that requires any cognitive dissonance on my behalf. i would cautiously argue that the narrative agrees with me somewhat in this regard - the few times VAL is treated to a genuine act of kindness with no ulterior motives, it shatters her composure and outward conviction that what she's doing is necessary for her personal satisfaction, and even prompts her to reconsider on occasion (sparing the woodsman comes to mind). i'm not saying anyone needs to hug her and tell her she's valid, but if all it takes is some genuine good intent to get her to engage in introspection, i'm willing to be the person to offer it.

[laraheartstaylor]

Meeting @taylorswift - My Experience 💘

The Main Story

It all started on the 5th of October 2017 (Thursday). Taylor Nation dmed me on instagram&tumblr that they needed to speak to me about a confidential eventand asked me the basic information they needed to know. I gave them it and a few minutes later they called!!! They asked to speak to my mum but I wasn’t at home I was at someone’s house so they said they’d call back. They called back a few hours later and told my mum that I was too young to attend the event (secret sessions) and so they’d be sending me a package from Taylor instead! They said the package would arrive on the 11th of October(Wednesday) and the time was to be confirmed. (From the 5th-11th tn we’re keeping in contact with me it was so cool)

So I waited SUPER EXCITEDLY DKCJDKD for just under a week until THE GOLDEN DAY THAT WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER rolled around!!!! I went to school and could not concentrate for the whole day of course and then the end of the day came around. I raced home and got changed and waited. Then Taylor nation sent me a dm saying my package would be delivered from 4pm-6pm. So, I went upstairs to the bathroom and sat on the ledge, looking down into the street waiting to see a delivery truck drive down my road. It must’ve been aliens 4:30 when I noticed a man standing in my road wearing head phones and speaking into them. He was looking up my road and at a car that was driving down it. The car parked up in front of my house (I just thought it was someone parking ect). There were two men sat in the front seats and the back ones were blacked out. THEN,, a boy stepped out of the car (so I thought it was just a boy getting dropped of or something) BUT then I noticed he was holding two tope bags that said “rep” on them. AT THIS POINT I WAS LOSING IT, but what was to happen next would KILL ME. A ~BLONDE GODDESS~~ STEPPed OUT OF THE CAR AND STARTED WALKING UP TO MY FRONT DOOR. I WAS RACING DOWN THE STAIRS AND THE KNOCKed On THE DOOR AND I STARTED SHOUTING to MY MUM LIKE SHES HERE ELEKFKKEKFRKFKOEFK!! SO I OPENED THE DOOR AND THERE SHE WAS !!!!!! BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND CUTE AND ~THE WOMAN I HAVE ADORED FOR SO MANY YEARS~ STANDING THERE AND THEN SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “HEY BUDDY” LIKE OMAY SIS ATTACK ME MORE IM AMREADY DESD OKAY IL SHOOK IM DEAD UK SKCMDCKD uMMMMM PAMYCJEJCKRKFKFKFKEKFRKFKRJFJRJJF I MISS HER SO MUCB SKMFRMKFRKKGMFGMMF IM GOING TO INCLUDE THE CONVERSATION JN TBE NEXT SECTION

sorry guys I tried to keep this chill and neat and professional but ofc you know me I cannot do that!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways next section HERE WE GO JM SOBBING ALRWSDY

The Conversation

Okay sisters I’m going to try to say as much as I can because it’s such a blurrrr !!! I can only remeber bits of the conversations so here we go :,)

So after she decided to attack me with “hey buddy!” and I had stopped speaking gibberish and being super embarrassing (for now) she said “can I see you room?” And wbk I was praying to the heavens that my room was tidy (it was not) so I said “yEAH SURE” and like we went upstairs and LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT WAD WALKING BEHIND ME AND SHE WAS LIKE “you have such a cool house!” LIKE SIS IM ALREADY ATTACKED STOP! And we walked into my room and she said something along the lines of “omg!! I love your room, I saw in your videos it’s really extensive” LIKE SIS WHAT VIDEOS STOP KILLING ME LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! AND THEN WE TALKED ABOUT STUFF AND THIS IS WHAT I CAN REMEMBER:

“You’re so cute!!!!! *hugs*” MORE THAN ONCE LIKE SHE HUGGED ME MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE UM OKAY UM ILDJDJDJJDDN

BASICALLY TAYLOR TOLD ME BECAUSE SHE WAS GETTING USED TO ALL THE NEW IG FEATURES SHE DIDNT KNOW WHAT A LIVE STREAM ON IG WAS SO SHE WAS LURKING MY PAGE ON THE 6TH OCT (day she joined my live) AND THEN CLICKED ON MY LIVE STREAM WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AND SHE “FREAKED AND AND THOUGH CAT EMOJI CAT EMOJI” KDKCKDK I ADORE HER

“Oh yeah I love how you love the song how you get the girl”!!

my mind: “SKS WTF MAN YOU CANT DONTHAT LIKE WJP GAVE YOU THE RUGHT SIS NO ATOP THIS JS NOT DAIR IM NOT PREPARED YOU JUST BROUGHT IP TJE SONG I OWE MY LiFE TO”

me: “ OH MY GOD YeSSS I ADORE IT SO MUCH! AND THE DRESS AND EVERYBUNG ITS HONESYLU SO PERFECT!”

Taylor: “oh yeahh haha the light up dress?!!”

mE: “YES!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the name of my second account hehe” (we love a self promoting queenie😩😩😭)

THEN...

me: *speaking about ibfs*

Taylor: “how do you know all these people?” *smiles*

Me: “LIKE THROUGH YOU”

Taylor: *laughs*

Me: *try to talk about Brits GC without losing it... (moral of the story: i lose it )

Me: *tries to remember Brits usernames and names but I’m tOo dead so gives up and says “should I show you them?”*

Taylor: “yeah yeah”

Me: *shows her them”

Taylor: “that’s so cute! That’s so awesome! They’re just chilling there. Oh yeahhh *giggles* I know a lot of these”

THEN

Me: *speaks about tabby and how great she is*

Taylor: “ooo does she live in the uk?”

Me: nope, she lives in Germany but she sounds a bit American so we have a joke that she’s ‘gemerican’

Taylor: *LauGHS* (AT TABBY AND I’S JOKE WE HAVE HAD FOR AGES)

THEN...

Taylor: “do you want me to sign these posters?”

me: “yes please!!!”*hands pen*

Taylor: “do you want to hear a song from the new album no ones heard yet?”

Me: “UM YES PLEASE “

Taylor: *opens bag, gets out head phones&ipod hands me them* “alright this song is called king of my heart” *plays it on her iPod*

me: *hears what heaven sounds like*&bops super hard

Taylor: *goes around my room signing my posters with her autograph&cute messages*

komh: *ends*

Taylor: “did you like it”

Me:”I LOVED IT!!!”

Taylor:” turns to Patrick* “sUCCESS!!”

THEN...

T: “where are the kitty cats?!”

me: “ we can go downstairs and find them!”

we: *all go downstairs*

We find my cats in the garden and the run away whoops

*we all take photos in my garden*

Then Taylor had the leave to have dinner with her parents ( OH YEAH SHE ALSO SAID “my parents told me to say hi!!” BECAUSE THEYD ALL BEEN stALKING ME TOGETHER)) and we hugged and I was super emo and I told her about a cookie dough place in nyc (@taylorswift sis pls say you’ve been there it’s so good!!!!!!!!) and we hugged for the last time and it was so genuine like patrick watched us hug and he smiled because it was SUCH A CUTE AND TIGHT HUG AND UGH I MISS HER

(Also throughout,, taylor hugged me so much and we took lots of photos too!!)

The Taylor Week- 5th-11th October

So basically between those dates Taylor attacked me more!!!!!!! On the 6th (Friday) she joined my live stream and commented “😻” ONAY SIS EAH JUST KILL ME AHAIN and then on the 8th (Sunday) she just OPENED MY DM AS SOON AS I SENT IT AND ID BASICALLY SAID “thank yOU FOR NOTICING MY BEST FRIENDS ILYYYYYY”

So yeS EXTREMELY ATTSCKED

Highlights

The moments that meant to most to me was (everything of course ) when we spoke about hygtg and I listened to komh and when we hugged so many times :,) but the whole thing was the best day of my life and the brightest highlight of my life!!!!!!!! TAYLOR INMISS YOU SONMUXN BABE HOW ID IT POSSIBME GOW MUCH I MISSS U I DONT GET IT

@taylorswift thank You so mUCH FOR EVERYTHUBG YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME I OWE ALL MY HAPPINESS & MY LIFE TO YOU I MISS UOU BEYOND WORDS AND WOW I JUST ADORE YOU WILL MY WHOLE HEART!!!!!!!! TOUR WAS AMAZING AND IF YOUNSEE THIS INMISS UOU SO MUCH AND YOURE DOING SO WELL!!💗💓💗💗💘💗💗💓💗💗💓💞💘💘💗💓💓💗