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Been watching The Apothicary Diaries recently and now I'm thinking about that but SBI because, of course.

I feel like the perfect candidate for MaoMao is Wilbur. He's just insane enough to have experimenting on himself be a hobby as well as enjoying eating poisons.

He's got mad scientist vibes.

So he's MaoMao, who originally worked at the palace doing like, I dunno labor or something. Maybe working in the kitchens where he realizes that the food was poisoned and alerts either the royal family themselves after they nearly eat it, or alerts a higher up servant because he doesn't want to get noticed.

The dish was going to be for one of the princes, either the eldest Prince Technoblade or the youngest Prince Tommy. And now the Emperor and Empress want Wilbur to check all their food for poison because that was far from the first poisoning attempt.

So now Wilbur's their poison tester. Not only that but Technoblade manages to convince Wilbur to help him up his own immunity to poisons and be able to tell when something is poisoned. He wants to make sure that he doesn't die to something as undignified as getting poisoned. Maybe he also agrees to help Wilbur with his experiments, or at least get him rare ingredients.

Wilbur basically becomes a babysitter for Tommy who's like 6 or 7 and far too willing to eat anything that's handed to him. Wilbur's job is to make sure that none of the little treats he gets handed are poisoned. (He's been forbidden from trying to raise Tommy's poison immunity by Phil and Kristin. He's not happy about it, but they keep saying no, he's too young.)

Shenanigans ensue, of course. And Wilbur slowly gets roped into the family more and more until people begin to forget that he's technically just a servant, a poison tester that's very good at his job. Some servants who've worked at the palace all their lives swear up and down that Prince Technoblade and Wilbur are twins and Wilbur was hidden away for his own safety.

The rumors are wild, and lead to several issues, people trying to poison Wilbur (dumb fucking idea), kill him, kidnap him for ransom. There's so many shenanigans.

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This reminds me of my sister. When we were little she did a parkour/climbing routine from like, the couch, to the window down to the floor or something.

And she did it All. The. Time.

Whenever our mom had guests over and they saw it they were always so worried about her getting hurt somehow. Mom never stopped her because she never got hurt.

I feel like Phil would eventually realize Tommy wasn’t goi g to get hurt. Leading to every other parent having a heart attack while he sits back and watches Tommy just in case. But, never stop him because, well, he’s not gotten hurt yet, so why stop his fun.

Uhhhh headcanon of human!tommy being pissed that he cant fly like Phil so the next best thing is climb any tall structure within a ten mile radius. Phil thinks its funny for the first week. Then tommy starts to genuinely scale whole buildings and he’s like “ok ok hold on-“

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Emerald Duo superhero au but Techno is a supervillain, Phil is one of the top heroes and they're besties.

They know about their personas, they were friends before they ever became a hero and a villain.

And that has its perks, sometimes Phil will warn Techno that his lair will be raided so he can hide the really important shit. And sometimes Techno gives Phil some intel on other villains so that he can take care of them.

Then of course some shit happens, because shit always happens.

It's discovered by someone that Techno and Phil are friends, maybe whichever sides finds out also learns that they're actually aware that the other is a hero/villain. But even if they don't shit still happens, Phil gets put in danger from being associated with Techno. And Techno gets put in danger from being associated with Phil.

Something could happen to make one of them switch sides. Phil learns that the heroes aren't as idealistic as he first thought, they've got some dark secrets, same as everyone else. And he is pissed, he joins Techno and the two become a duo, set on destroying the city.

Or Techno realizes that total anarchy won't actually help him achieve his goals so he takes a new approach. What better way to get people to listen to you then go from being one of the worst villains to being one of the best heroes. Fighting along side Philza, his old nemesis.

There are so many possibilities.

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grieving your innocence

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YES! More Kristin centric fics, more fanart of Kristin. MORE KRISTIN.

Less dead Kristin in fics!!!! Less Kristin only being mentioned once or twice in passing!!! Make her an active part of the story god damn it!

You know what I wanna see? Supervillain duo Kristin and Phil. Hero duo Kristin and Phil. Mob boss Kristin. Vampire Kristin. Werewolf Kristin. Kristin just fucking being THERE for more than three seconds.

Please please please PLEASE can we as a fandom get on this?

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Less dead Kristin in fics!!!! Less Kristin only being mentioned once or twice in passing!!! Make her an active part of the story god damn it!

You know what I wanna see? Supervillain duo Kristin and Phil. Hero duo Kristin and Phil. Mob boss Kristin. Vampire Kristin. Werewolf Kristin. Kristin just fucking being THERE for more than three seconds.

Please please please PLEASE can we as a fandom get on this?

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Intro & Masterpost

Hello! I'm Ace, (they/them) and this blog will be primarily for ranting about my fanfics, many of which are mcyt fics, apart from my one ATLA one

Speaking of which, under the cut will be a list of all my fics in no particular order.

Spirits Forgive our Sins (SFOS) - ATLA Yuezula canon divergent AU (ongoing, I promise)

After ten years Azula and Yue’s scares from the war have finally healed. Until a certain airbender and his flying bison wash ashore, old wounds must be reopened if the princesses wish to help the Avatar navigate a world that’s given up on his return and desperate for his help.

The Family of Theseus- Dreamsmp/SBI Fae AU except I know nothing about fae aus

Tommy stood waiting at the front door for them to return, the way he always did. This time he had tears streaming down his face and his father’s hunting rifle in his hands. “What the fuck did you do to my family?”

Death Waits for You- Philza and Kristin Hades and Persephone retelling

“Technoblade, are there still stars in the sky?” Techno paused “yeah, there’s plenty of stars.” Kristin hummed “do you think if I put diamonds in the ceiling they would mimic the stars? Or would they vanish into the darkness with everything else?” “I don’t think so, they’d need light to reflect. Without that they’d be useless.” Kristin sighed “I thought as much.” "You’re still makin’ caves nice right? What’d you call them? Green caves?” “Lush caves, and yeah I am. When I’m not cleaning up your messes.” “You like cleanin’ up my messes. Forget that, I found a really big cave, dark, dreary, there’s even a few rivers. I think that makin’ it into a lush cave would be a nice project for you.”

Killer Instincts- A Technoblade centric (kind of) hunger games AU

It probably made Technoblade a bad sport to have entirely forgotten about the Lottery, but he’d been busy fighting SquidKid for the No. 1 potato farmer and that was way more important than meager fame and fortune. He’d not bothered to win any entries, no doubt some players had hundreds of not a few thousand. He’d just wait until everything was over and go back to his farming. This damn event was tanking his rates. Hypixel reached into the bowl and pulled out a name, he remained still, staring at the name he’d pulled. He cleared his throat, “Technoblade.”

Hair die?!- Technocentric space AU

In which Technoblade is a human working on an alien spaceship and the Human Manual is the space equivalent of Wikipedia

Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a new son- Emerald Duo royalty AU

Prompt: Phil buys Techno to free them, only he can't afford the asking price so he's left haggling down Techno's value, picking out every conceivable flaw and arguing with the seller that Techno isn't worth that much, within earshot of Techno

Who's the What God?- Hermitcraft DSMP crossover

Grian joined the server MumboJumbo Joined the server it was just a little favor, XD needed help managing his server and Grian brought Mumbo along for the ride. if only they'd stop being so cryptic about everything. Like which one of them is the Blood God, and why crows won't stop following them.

I'll beg you for forgiveness, I know you won't care (and that's ok)- Wilbur and Fundy talk. (Written in 2023)

All Wilbur asks for is forgiveness, too bad Fundy won’t give it to him. Aka you know that one monologue from The Good Place about Patricia and “why does she get a good mom” (idk, haven’t watched it) Yeah, this is that

"Hey wait a second don't you have a superhero au?" Yes, but it's cringe, both are cringe, sadly, it's my magnum opus and one day a third rewrite might be made. Today is not that day.