#and I got free food

[foldingfittedsheets]

I have this funny embarrassing date story but every time I tell it people think I’m humble bragging and I’m not actually sure I’ll ever be able to properly convey it.

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

[puppyeared]

my attempt at making a fursona

[corkinavoid]

Danny, in a middle of his research binge: Ugh, my stomach hurts really badly, do you think ghosts get food poisoning?

Tim, busy with a case: It's not that.

Danny: What? Why are you so sure? I doubt you know jack shit of ghost biology.

Tim: First, that's a very bold assumption. Second, the last thing we both ate was Alfred's omelets, and you can't possibly dare to think Alfred's food can give anyone food poisoning.

Tim, a moment later: ...But now that you mention it, my stomach also kinda hurts.

Danny, who doesn't trust homemade food since childhood: ...Suspicious.

Dick, who witnessed them eat the omelets with his own eyes and is very much aware that it happened two days ago: I can't help but point out that both of your's deduction skills and self-preservation instincts suck ass.

[phoenixyfriend]

Political ads: My opponent has jacked up taxes every year since he was elected!

Me: Which taxes? Income? Sales? Property? Business?

Political ads: I promise to hold the line on taxes!

Me: Which taxes? What government programs do those taxes contribute to? What gets cut if the lack of taxation causes a deficit?

Political ads: Think about the taxes!

Me: WHICH TAXES. WHICH TAXES ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. TELL ME WHO'S ACTUALLY GETTING AFFECTED BY THESE TAXES YOU'RE SO CONCERNED WITH.

Reminder to always ask what it is that people aren't saying in these ads.

A lot of them want you to think that it is your personal taxes as a working-class person that they're talking about. But if it's taxes on the rich that they're "holding the line on," then they're using your desire to survive with a greater portion of your own income as fuel to keep the upper classes from paying their fair share.

I keep getting the same three or four political ads (half aren't even for the district I live in) and I'm frustrated that they use these transparent tactics and that there are probably people that don't have the time or background to take that moment to go 'what are they hoping I hear in this? What are they actually going to do?'

[moodyvoid]

Taco Bell used to have this little machine where you had to get a coin onto a specific ledge to win a free taco.

One time I was fiddling around with it and ultimately couldn’t do it. This guy came out of nowhere and was like “Could I try?” and I just quietly stepped back.

He did it on the first try, pointed at me, and was like “Hey, she did it.” to the cashier. He smiled at me and said “Enjoy.” and then walked away- I never saw him again.

[whatlurksbean]

This is probably a strange ask, and I’m sure it’s just my aroace self having no understanding of anything lol, but was Hake & Tusk’s relationship intended to be romantic? Just for clarification’s sake :p

i personally view them at the start of a romantic journey, but they could also be read as platonic. They didn’t know each other very long, but they loved each other and were planning to raise a child together, and i think they would have been life partners had things gone differently.

[thingsnpngs]

[blusandbirds]

eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

i don't understand the need for garbage disposals when trash cans exist but the allure of feeding a sink beast my leftovers is tempting

[apnourry]

I miss Arizona🥲

[bigothteddies]

can I live post how insane this company party is or are you gonna cancel me for how classist it will inherently make me sound

[lindamccartneysstrap]

Absolutely fascinated by Buffalo Wild Wings fucking up my order by giving me 2 of everything I ordered but forgetting my drink

[starflungwaddledee]

🕰️🩷🧋and 🥘 for starstuck Dee please and thank you.

[ >>> kirby oc ask meme <<< ]

🕰️ (Clock) - What would a Dreamy Gear version of them look like? What sort of accessories would they have? What kind of role do they play?

well i couldn't resist drawing it once i'd thought about it, so here she is! still pretty recognisable, but i think that large elements of her story and the suspicions surrounding her would be different, due to the fact that waddle dee/bandee is usually the one and only waddle dee. i think she'd still be found in a meteor crater at the edge of town by meta knight, but i think this time he'd bring her to bandee instead of president dedede, mostly due to the clear visual similarities. bandee would take her in instantly, and she'd follow him around the mechanic shop, learning to tinker and serving as his glorified assistant. learns to make really good apple tea instead of being a friendly chatterbox she would be shy and selectively mute, speaking out loud exclusively to bandee. though she still forms relationships with kirby and meta knight, i think that sadly in this world president dedede would frighten her, despite how highly bandee thinks of him 😭 at meta knight's suggestion, after he finds her squinting skyward on the roof at night a few too many times, she makes herself a pocket telescope for looking at stars and surveying the weather. she uses it to give bandee reports, which he discretely passes on to kirby and dedede for their races.

🩷 (Pink Heart) - If they were a Dream Friend, what would their moveset be like? How much HP do they have? Would they be a strong attacker, or would they take on more of a support role?

she would be a support role for sure, but i also can't resist also giving her some specialised abilities... > hp: small health bar, but practically immune to damage. will still die in insta-kill scenarios like lava or crush blocks > basic attack: if bandana waddle dee, meta knight, or king dedede are on the team she'll get a simple swing attack with a toy/training version of their weapon. if at least two are on the team, it's upgraded to an attack with a three-swing combo, and she'll alternate at random between which weapon she pulls > basic support: drawing magic from the environment around her or other allies or enemies present, she can give a wide variety of power effects. i previously said she'd give blustery and i stand by it, because even if there are no other elements around there's always air, but i think she could give the others too. she cannot attack with any of these herself > healing: under CPU control she'll focus on running ahead to pick up heal items, and bring them back. if everybody has full health, she'll actually store the item and bring it out later whenever anyone gets below half health; tdlx bandee style > meteor shower: this is a charge attack that starts with a 3 minute cooldown. after charging, she can use it by jumping in the air and pressing a multi-button combo, to avoid accidental activation. this is a full screen, crash-like attack with a shooting star visual, similar to team meteor. all on screen enemies defeated, and most bosses down to at least 1/3 health. > downed: unfortunately after using the charged attack she will drop her inventory, pass out, and need to be piggy backed for about 5 minutes if you want to keep her on the team (walking over to her will activate a 'piggy back' bar instead of the standard 'revive'). she cannot heal or give buffs during this time, but can be dropped by accident or when attacked, and can take damage that cannot be healed. if she makes it she wakes up at partial health, but returns to being invulnerable while conscious

🧋 and 🥘 both answered here!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Me: I am interested in judaism ONLY. Show me content about jewish life, intellectualism, history, and daily life

The Algorithm, apparently: does this mean you're interested in mormonism... how about jehova's witness............... this is all you'll get recommended by the way

[cheekblush]

took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.