#and I fear some people need to hear this
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I think people are overestimating the impact Mizu5 will have on the rest of the cast’s events. The only explanation I can think of for this is that Mizu5 is the first event a lot of the fandom has read and it is very telling…
Events don’t intertwine like how a lot of people are talking about them. No, Akito5 won’t be about Mizuki. In fact, I am almost confident she won’t even be mentioned at all. Don’t forget that Akito5 is an arc starter, this event will solely focus on the next steps for VBS after having surpassed RAD WEEKEND.
Plus, Mizuki not showing up to school isn’t new. An, Akito, and Toya will not be worrying themselves sick, if anything they’ll be thinking Damn she’ll need to do supplementary classes again… Events are not as linked as linked as some people are making them out to be.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that people are starting to read the stories, it’s great that this event caused so much of an impact that people want to talk about it and theorise what will happen next, but maybe this could also be a catalyst for people to read other events too.
You don’t have to force yourself to read events for groups you might not be as interested in, but choosing a group and reading everything they have to offer is just as good. It’ll give you a lot more to talk about regarding the game too (and perhaps it’ll stop pointless story discourse on top of that, but we can only hope).
#sorry if this take sounds redundant#seen a few people mention this on twitter but not on here#and I fear some people need to hear this#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#mizu5
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bau members + near death experiences
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverse#cmverseedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#spencer reid#elle greenaway#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#mine#edit#*#category*#tag meta#DO YOU EVER CRY FOR EMILY PRENTISS#every other member having something positive when they coded and none for emily prentiss byeeeeeee#i think what i hate (love) about it so much is that - as a show with no ~proof of an afterlife - it's a valid interpretation that#emily is doing this to herself. that everyone else's brain supplied them with comforting thoughts and people in their final moments#and in most cases something that person NEEDED to hear to bring them some fundamental sense of peace#except for emily. emily offered herself no comfort and no peace and i think that is truly one of the most heartbreaking things about her#whether she didn't think she deserved it or didn't know what to offer herself...the woman who is always running away from and back to#the people that she cares about...who she wants nothing more to protect and fears nothing more than hurting them...#who make her feel wonderful and terrible all at once...so what would she conjure to give herself peace? what /could/ she possibly see?
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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).
He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.
And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.
No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.
Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)
He needs to be quick.
Efficient.
Perfect.
And so he comes and goes like the wind.
Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.
Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.
He'd rather he never be late ever again.
It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...
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.
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" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.
Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.
He imagines hearing a clock ticking.
Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?
Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it#kaeya cant stand being IDLE#get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters#and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is#actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber#seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at#angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the#backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW#BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training#give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh#to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready#if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to#just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several#occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is#just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst#silly me ehe#oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh#fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao#i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO#wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly#lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.
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Charles Rowland doesn't have anger issues. Charles Rowland just has trauma.
Goodbye y'all and good day.
#some people really need to hear that#HIS TRAUMA IS NOT HIS CORE#although he fears that's what he is he's so much more than that#he's a good kid. a great kid even.#life fucked him up real bad are you expecting him to be normal about it????#of course he's going to cry of course he's going to explode after having to re-live his trauma. who wouldn't????#his dark parts of him are not who he is though#although he's afraid they are#he doesn't have anger issues he's just a kid all his reactions are fairly normal to what he went through#i dare anyone to go through what he went through and not be angry#but it doesn't mean he has issues! he just has trauma! but anger is not a core character trait of his he doesn't have anger issues#jesus some people need to get that#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#the dead boy detectives#charles dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives netflix#dead boy detectives agency
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Fuchgenta??
#the tiny house i based my own blue print off of is for sale at 110000 across the country#if my ass weren't broke id hop on that and drive all the way over to get it#but also 110k for a tiny house on wheels is pretty outrageous especially when these things were originally marked at a cap of 65k#once upon a year now no one can afford them#i do want a home someday and I'm also finding I'm nomadic by nature#dream would be have a “home base” with land thats permanent#but as soon as winter comes i can pack up and move south or wherever is warmer for several months before returning#that would be great for minimizing fibro flares getting away from the cold#heck if remote work ends up getting me good money after i pay off a huge chunk of medical debt i wouldn't mind#being a digital nomad for a few months out of the year#go see people i like across the pond see pompeii see rome see ireland see spain see australia see japan#so many....#theres people that want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet before they die#then theres me that wants to see all the cool ancient human things before it disappears or before i leave earth and go home#one of the few big fears i have is it wont happen in this life#but hey i didnt think i was gonna make it past 23 let alone make it to 32#i didnt think i was ever gonna get out of my abusive household and out of my old shitty life#but im here so who knows what could happen right?#not magenta or fuchsia but some other pink variation#i just need to roll out a pink color palette and start assigning emotions to them at this point 😂#magenta is my vent word#fuchsia is my vent word for good things#idk wtf this is its a combo
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Proud of Billie Eilish for being open about her attraction to women. She’s been strongly hinting at it for a couple of years, but people have used a video she did when she was 16 to prove she is straight, no matter how clear her hints were recently. I hope this helps some people understand a few things about sexuality and how your identity can change as you grow up, or you can be afraid to say it to millions of people or even one person, but just because you don’t say it out loud, you can show it in many ways.
She didn’t label herself, so some people will still not “believe” it. I imagine the “I’m straight and I kiss my girlfriends all the time” crowd will not be moved. But I continue to find it fascinating and amazing how Gen Z approaches sexuality. Things changed so fast over the last 10 years, and even the last 5 years. I expect the next years to continue to change. Hopefully for the better.
#this is not a post saying people need to come out#protecting one’s privacy is personal and fine#but it’s always going to be better that the reason for not coming out is privacy rather than fear#the fear for many is still there and still real but it’s getting easier for some#I haven’t read the full interview yet but I hear she also addressed her gender identity#I will read it when I have a chance#ok she didn’t really talk about her gender identity exactly. I relate heavily to what she said ❤️
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seven's the best protag ever because i could make a million "get you a man who" jokes about him. get you a man who looks at him the way thirteen does. get you a man who has undefeated whimsy and love for the world like seven. get you a man who holds his friends above everything else. get you a man who'd rather go broke and hungry rather than tear apart the bonds between people. get you a man who'd get himself killed for someone who barely knows him. get you a man who'd get himself killed for an island which he's barely familiar with. get you a man who'd dress up as you and settle the arguement between you and your girlfriend including a really long serenade. get you a man who could both save the girl in white like that and also let thirteen save him like that. get you a man who's driven purpose in life is loving others
#i think i shouldnt limit it to just “best protag” but im too lazy to think of better phrasing#i know very little medias who would be willing to write a man who's that loving and empathetic and caring and also have him have killed#literal thosuands and those two points of his characters dont contradict his very personality because his actions have genuine sensible mot#a character who is the victim of his own narrative and continues to fight it over and over and over even if he's tired#because being tired does not mean he gets to stop fighting for what he loves#the s4 op lyrics literally say something along the lines of “who's tired of fighting evil?” i cant check the netflix captions of it rn#god i just love seven as a character i love how he's written#i cannot interract with the tiktok side of the fandom because#i feel like i'm pretentous or a gatekeeper when i say this#but some people just wanna see funny badass who should be feared and will not comprehend how empathetic and adoring he is#and that's ok. that's an ok character to want and love#and i will not be the person to burst the bubble but also the bubble chokes me alive LOOK AT HIM /j#explaining the intricacies of his character takes so long and its so fun but also some mfs jsut dont wanna hear it i need mfs who need it#scissor seven#wu liuqi#seven
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85. "I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
tgcf, pm or swd to ling wen
Thank you <33
....I think this should have been a more hurt/comfort prompt, but with only 100 words it just became hurt, I'm sorry ;w;
Pei Ming is back again today with new grumbles and demands. So much to be done, all at once, only by her. These days, Ling Wen can barely lift her head. She can barely hear her retort. “And?” There’s a rare edge in his voice. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.” Pei Ming knows how to fight. To take away the firewood she needs to stay warm. Day by day he’ll wear her down, getting more outrageous until she finally caves, willingly or forcefully. Ling Wen knows this. Really. But she hates to lose.
I love lw but i also do think she has trapped herself in a vicious cycle of self sabotage
#tgcf#pei ming#ling wen#fortune's drabbles#the vibe i was going for here is lw is sick and refuses to take care of herself#so pm is going to bully her into it because being nice wasn't working (he tried)#(probably swd will come in to be the sun to pm's north wind later)#i have a lot of thoughts about lw and her role in the heavenly bureaucracy xD#from the moment we meet her we clearly can see she's one of THE most important people in heaven#and the whole thing would fall apart without her#and the whole thing DOES fall apart without her later#and I think this is actually a very genuine shock to her (and only her)#i think LW genuinely doesn't know how invaluable she is because she only ever hears complaints#and i think she does live in the fear that if she shows any cracks someone will quickly rush to fill them in and she won't be needed anymor#(so maybe like jw she has some incentive to maintain a very specific atmosphere in the civil court)#(i like my lw with a dash of both complacency and self sabotage)
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Every time someone knocks on my door I experience a moment of pure dread where I worry it's someone trying to demand immediate entry who is either mad at me, or able to kick me out of my home if they see the wrong thing, or someone I used to know, and my whole body shakes just slightly while I get my phone and try to get it to load the security cam footage, which it NEVER does quickly when I actually need it to for some stupid reason, despite working fast as shit 100% of the rest of the time... While I try to calmly tell myself it's probably a package... And then I get to the door just while the guy is in the middle of writing a note to go to the post office for my package and he gives it to me, and I feel bad for taking so long...
But it's the same guy every time now, like he knows it takes me a hot minute, I am in the middle of keeping myself from spiraling into a panic attack and making sure my mom or sister wasn't stupid enough to let on where I live to anyone... Like he doesn't need to know why, but he knows it takes me a fucking minute to get to the door. He knows this. Like I feel bad for making you wait, but also... You know this by now?
And seriously, checking the camera because I am curious or heard a bird? Immediate. Trying to load the footage because someone is knocking on my fucking door "14% trying to connect :("... "Failed to connect :(" Fuck my stupid door camera. Turns out it's an apple product I think and I hate it.
#I never thought I would be one of the people who's sent into some kind of immediate physiological fear response the moment they hear a knock#on the door but here we are#I think my freezer wheels got here though#I ordered lights freezer wheels and the washer#which was less than 1/3 of the potential things I was going to get#oh and the clothes drying rack#because I needed to do laundry the lights were an affordable quality of life thing and I want my fucking box freezers to be movable#for cleaning under them
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#just some thoughts#that might not be what people want or need to hear right now#but i need to say them and who reads this anyway#i'm sad that the show is officially over in spite of all the efforts to turn it around#of course i am#i love the story and the characters so much#but personally i find easy consolation in looking forward to whatever else rhys will do in the future#stede might be gone but rhys is not and everything he learned is not#i will see him act again and i'm so excited about that#so that's the good part of my thoughts#the bad part of my thoughts is fear tho#i fear that max is being a bitter little shit to us on purpose#because we dared to push back#we made it a Big Thing and made them look bad and now they're hellbent on making sure we get nothing#that's what it feels like#maybe other streamers wanted to take over but they made it impossible in one way or another#and then the headline about them targeting fanartists#idk the timing is suspicious idk#and maybe they even have the power to make sure we never get a dvd just to fuck us over#i don't know how these things work but i am afraid#and that's everything off my chest kthanksbye
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The evil slow creep of it being like "haha these will just be quick little side quests, not much effort at all!" and then noticing each one is getting progressively longer than the last, thus no longer being minimal effort.. auGh....
#The jump of 76 for the first one to 275 for the most recent ghghjb#what can I say.. I am.. The Elaborator.. The Detail Giver..#number six will HAVE to be shorter....!!!!!! !!!!#I fear it's going to look this way but opposite with some of the main character quests. The first character I ever worked on. like their#first quest I added wayy to much information and detail and side options and etc.#Once I got done with all their stuff I was like.... if they're all like this I will NEVER finish.. So then I tried to be very short about#it all. EVERY single interaction cannot have 10 branching dialogue and 5 different endings and blah blah blah.. as much as I wish it could.#Hiring a butler to stand over me all day shouting ''NARROW the scope!!!! REDUCE the options!!! CUT the dialogue!!!'' whilst I sob#and hit backspace on everything once every five minutes#But that means probably the first character I worked on will be very obvious because their quests might have a different#feel than the others and be longer.. I just CAN'T make ALL of them that long. but maybe I could choose one..#Like out of the four characters that will have full quests for them upon release.. maybe I can add another one thats long so at least#TWO of them have weirdly long quests and the one first character doesnt seem so singled out lol#I hear this happens in real life professional games as well (like people complaining that X character doesnt have as much#content in an RPG as some other one does. etc.) so.. perhaps my fears about everyting not being exactlyliterally equal#are not even that worrisome or something that's a major factor. Still lol#It's not really that concerning to me anyways from a 'how will people react to it' perspective (very niche game. hardly anyone#will play it i'd assume. its not like thousands of people shall desscend upon me to criticize even if something was weird like that.#it'd be like. out of the 25 people who ever play it. maybe one of them is like 'yeah it was kinda weird that thosequests were so much#longer than the others. but idk' and that's the extent lol). My concern is more like.. Writing time..#the more I add. the longer it takes for me to finish. So if I keep ednlessly making things forever longer and longer. then it becomes The#Forever Project. which it kind of already is. considering I started it in 2018 and then forgot about it for the most part of 5 years and am#only resuming it now LOL.. I cannot bear to add MORE forever onto that which already is quite Forever-ish#If I wrote everything the ideal way I wish it were then I would either need a full team of writers. or I would finish the game in 2085#so.. alas.. cut cut snip snip..#ANYWAY lol
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Eww just saw a terf/radfem in my notifs.
Just so we're clear, I don't tolerate y'all and will block on site! The second I catch even a whiff of terfy shit, let alone bold faced terfy shit, I am pretending you do not exist- there will be no debate because that lends credibility to your bullshit ideology. I am not arguing with a brick wall; I am not arguing with someone whose ideology is built on hate, misogyny, and the pain Olympics.
Hope this helps!
#couldn't find the post they tagged me in or whatever it was#but I was told it was very “not like other girls” of me#to say that the difference between men and women isn't as big as people act#and that feminism has slid backwards from “girl power!” to “I'm just a girl uwu” ass energy#I don't know who needs to hear this but you are not a gender crit or a radfem or a terf#you are 20 and need to interact with people who go outside and carry even an ounce of love in their hearts#the radfem/gender crit/terf bullshit (cause let's be real it's all the same shit in new paint) is built on misogyny#and tries to instill fear in you#they want you to be afraid and think they're the only sources you can trust because it fuels their agenda#I am begging y'all to log off and interact with trans people/women not involved in radfem shit#anyway go tell a trans person you love them#I was having a nice night we were all having a nice night#“women are just as capable as men” lol what are you a pick me? -radfems#can y'all be serious for like five seconds#gods above#rant I guess?#yeah sure this became a rant#lemme figure out how to pin posts real quick this needs to be at the tippy top#as if I wasn't already clear enough on where I stand#gods grant me some damn patience because if y'all give me strength I will start biting
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hello i just wrote a poem and for some reason it feels important
#important to me#idk#it's about things that i've been afraid of#i just have the first stanza so far#on my fear in grade school that i would get pregnant from having feelings for people#legitimately#it was a very deep shame that i felt on the daily and felt so strongly that i needed to hide#i would stand in front of the mirror and check my stomach#scared that any weight i was gaining would mean that i was pregnant#it did not btw#and you know sometimes i think about that#how that was such a big fear and shame for me#how i genuinely. genuinely thought. that i was at risk of getting pregnant#just because i wanted to like. hold hand with some guy at math team practice#i think a lot about how i never actually received a sex education- from school or from my parents#how i grew up hearing the virtues of the virgin mary- not connecting until my mid-teens what virgin really meant#i think about what i had to learn from the internet of all places#and what i still don't know#about how isolated i feel when it comes to romance and sexuality#because i never had an outlet to understand or express potential interests or desires#anyway putting some of that into text just feels like a moment for me i guess#boink#poetry
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We <3 hearing things
#i swear I am hearing stuff#it might be because this is an old house and those make noises sometimes#but maybe there's something#and maybe there's nothing at all and I'm imagining this#i think I'll clean my room sometime the next days....#it's overdue anyways there's this one corner where i haven't looked at in like two years out of fear what might linger in those depths#my room is a nightmare for people with dust allergies#carpet everywhwre last time i dusted off was too long ago to remember#there's some mold on my windows because i used to rarely open them#that was before I noticed that fresh air is really nice actually and i like breathing good#my couch creaks too and I know my heater sometimws makes strange noises#the boiler from my floors bathroom got the verdict “out of date and should probably be replaced''#it works well but now I'm a tad scared of it exploding#or giving me carbon monoxide poisoning#We're paranoid like that ig thats in up here nowadays#god I really should deepclean this thing sometime#by couch too i sleep on it every day so I seldom get the chance to really do something there#because. like. i kinda need that thing#but I vacuumed and where was a lot of dust#why do I live in filth I even try to keep it somewhat alright#sigh I'll just do what I can do for today and chamge my bedsheets#we'll see about the rest when we get there
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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