#and I don't want to get emotionally attached without knowing what's going to happen!

[thirtyone-stillhere]

Not me scrolling through spoiler tags so that I don't have my heart broken by fictional characters.

[rootedinrevisions]

Kinktober 2024: Day 20

THIS IS PART OF THE FRIENDS (WITH BENEFITS) DON'T SERIES! T

PROMPT: “I love it when you say my name like that, baby.”

KINK: Morning Sex

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DNI. SMUT (P in V. Lots of kissing and touching.)

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

TAG LIST: See Comments

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm going to be honest I was really struggling with my original idea for Kinktober Day 20. It was a different Kink with a different character but it wasn't coming together like I wanted. I had started and scrapped it five or six times. But I also had this that I wrote a few weeks ago. I wasn't going to post it because I didn't think it fit with the story I originally was writing it for (a Jake series that I've since abandoned cause I wasn't loving how it was coming together) but I feel like it could fit the Kinktober theme so here it is! Hope you like it! xx

The morning sunlight filters through the blinds, casting a soft glow over the room. You slowly stir awake, feeling the warmth of Jake’s body pressed against yours, his arm draped comfortably over your waist. His chest rises and falls with the rhythm of his deep, even breaths, and for a moment, you let yourself relax into him, enjoying the unexpected comfort of waking up in his arms. This isn’t how things usually go.

Your relationship with Jake has been easy, with no strings attached. At least, it was supposed to be. But now, with the way he’s holding you so protectively, it feels different. You remember last night—how you’d planned for another casual hook-up, but instead, after, you’d ended up tangled together under the covers, watching a romcom of all things. And then, instead of leaving like he always does, Jake stayed.

Your heart pounds softly in your chest, the weight of the situation settling in. Is this still just a fling? Or is something else happening between you two? The lines are starting to blur.

You shift slightly, careful not to wake him just yet, and glance over your shoulder. His usually cocky, confident expression is softened in sleep, his features relaxed, and suddenly, you’re hit with a wave of vulnerability you weren’t expecting.

You know you should probably move, maybe get up, but something about this moment feels too good to let go. You bite your lip, torn between the easygoing fun of what you had before and the undeniable change that seems to be happening.

Just as you're lost in thought, Jake stirs, his arm tightening slightly around your waist before his voice rumbles low in your ear. “Mornin’, darlin’.”

His voice, deep and gravelly from sleep, sends a shiver down your spine, and you fight the urge to smile. You manage to reply softly, “Morning.”

Jake shifts behind you, pulling you closer for a second before he stretches and rolls onto his back, his hand trailing down your arm as he moves. The bed feels colder without him wrapped around you, and you can't help but miss the warmth. He runs a hand through his messy hair and glances over at you, his usual cocky grin making an appearance. “Sleep well?”

You nod, still feeling a bit off-balance by the situation, and try to keep things casual. “Yeah, I did…you?”

“Better than usual,” he says, surprising you with the sincerity in his tone.

You sit up slowly, pulling the covers around you, suddenly feeling a bit exposed—not physically, but emotionally. This isn’t what you signed up for. Friends with benefits doesn’t include waking up in each other’s arms, watching movies together, and it certainly doesn’t include the softness in Jake’s eyes when he looks at you right now.

You’re about to say something, maybe ask him about breakfast or make some quip to lighten the mood, but before you can get the words out, you feel Jake’s lips press against your bare shoulder. It’s not just a kiss—it’s gentle, lingering, almost like he’s savoring the moment. And it catches you completely off guard. Jake’s mouth has been everywhere on you before, but this? This feels different. It’s tender. Intimate. Too intimate.

Your breath hitches slightly as you glance back at him, and you’re met with a gaze that’s softer than his usual playful smirk. His green eyes seem to be studying you, watching your reaction carefully. For a second, your heart pounds a little harder, and all you can think is what are we doing?

“Jake…” you start, your voice barely above a whisper, unsure of what you want to say. You feel like you should address this shift, but before you can even form a coherent thought, he’s already leaning in again, his lips brushing against your collarbone this time, trailing upward to your neck.

The air between you thickens, and any words you might’ve had dissolve in the heat of the moment. Jake’s hand slides along your waist, pulling you back down onto the bed, your body instinctively responding to him. You should stop and talk about this, about what this all means, but when he moves closer, you can’t seem to find it in you to pull away.

Jake’s lips linger for a moment, his breath brushing against your skin. It sends a shiver down your spine, not from cold, but from something much deeper. Something you hadn’t expected to feel this morning, or maybe ever in this situation. Sure, Jake has touched you plenty of times before, in ways that have sent your pulse racing and your skin burning. But this—this feels different.

Your heart begins to beat faster as his hand, which had been resting on your waist, tightens ever so slightly, pulling you closer. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin, the way his muscles flex just beneath the surface as he shifts beside you. He presses another kiss, this time closer to the nape of your neck, slow and deliberate, as if savoring the contact. It sends your thoughts into a spiral, the question lingering in your mind—What is happening?

Before you can fully process it, Jake’s hand begins to move, sliding from your waist up along your ribs, his touch light and teasing. His fingers graze the band of your bra, tracing the edge in a way that makes your breath hitch. You shift slightly under the covers, your body responding to him even as your mind races to catch up. Every touch feels deliberate like he’s taking his time, savoring every second. It’s not the hurried, frenzied touches you’re used to—it’s slow, almost reverent, and it makes your heart pound in your chest.

His hand moves back down, slipping under the hem of your shirt, and in one smooth motion, he pulls it up over your head, tossing it aside. You don’t even think to stop him—you don’t want to. The cool air hits your skin, but it’s quickly replaced by the warmth of Jake’s hands as he cups your sides, his thumbs brushing against the fabric of your bra. His lips find your neck again, this time pressing a series of kisses, each one sending sparks through your body.

You open your mouth to say something—to ask him what this is, what it means—but before you can, his hand slides around your back, expertly unhooking your bra with practiced ease. He pulls it off, tossing it somewhere in the room, and you suddenly feel exposed in a way that’s both thrilling and nerve-wracking.

Jake doesn’t give you time to think about it. His hands are on you again, skimming over your bare skin as his mouth moves lower, pressing a kiss just below your collarbone. His touch is slow and patient as if he’s in no rush to get anywhere, and it drives you wild. You can’t help the way your back arches slightly, your body reacting to him before your mind can catch up.

As his lips trail down your chest, you feel his fingers hook around the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down with the same deliberate slowness. The way he’s taking his time—like he wants to memorize every inch of you—sends a flush of warmth through your body.

You reach up, your fingers threading through his hair, pulling him back to you. His lips crash against yours, the kiss deep and consuming, filled with a hunger that makes your head spin. There’s an urgency now, but it’s not the same frantic rush as before. It’s something deeper—something that makes your heart race as much as your body responds.

Jake’s hands roam your body with a familiar ease, but this time, there’s a softness to his touch, a kind of reverence that makes your skin tingle. His mouth moves back to your neck, trailing down to your chest, and you can feel the heat between the two of you intensifying. Every kiss, every touch, feels deliberate, like he’s savoring the moment in a way that leaves you breathless.

Before you know it, you’re completely lost in him. His mouth is everywhere—on your skin, your lips, your neck—and all you can do is let yourself fall deeper into the moment, feeling the weight of him, the warmth of him, as he moves against you. You’re no longer just two friends sharing a casual hookup. This is something more. And it terrifies you as much as it thrills you.

Jake pushes your legs a little further apart as he reaches down and wraps his hand around himself. He spreads the precum that formed at his tip around the head with his thumb before pumping himself a couple of times.

He then presses the tip through your folds as he gently pushes into you. His eyes find yours as his hips slowly move until they are pressed flatly against yours. Jake leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips before he started slowly moving in and out of you.

Your breath started to hitch as he moved in and out of you, each thrust feeling like it was a little deeper than the last. Slowly his pace started to quicken.

“J-Jake,” you moaned as you started to move your hips up to meet his.

You feel his lips curve into a smirk against your neck before he whispers, “God, I love it when you say my name like that, baby.”

Baby. That was new. He’d never used pet names before.

But you didn’t have time to overthink it because his hand slid down your stomach until one of his fingers started rubbing circles on your clit. You felt your back arch up off the sheets as the knot in your stomach tightened even further.

“F-fuck,” you cried out, feeling your orgasm right there.

“Not yet. Wait for me, baby. I’m…I’m almost there,” Jake breathily said as he picked up his face even further. Your hands grabbed at the sheets as you tried to hold it off, but it was getting nearly impossibly.

“Okay, come with me baby.” He breathed after a few more thrusts. Your toes curled and you cried out as you felt your orgasm wash over you. It was the most intense one he had ever given you. It left you feeling slightly dizzy as you laid there trying to get the air back into your lungs.

Once the intensity subsides, your breaths gradually even out, but the room still feels heavy with the lingering heat of what just happened. Jake shifts beside you, his body slightly resting on yours as if he’s reluctant to let go. His skin is warm, slick with a light sheen of sweat, and his chest rises and falls against your back. Slowly, his arm drapes lazily over your waist again, pulling you even closer until there’s barely an inch of space between you.

He presses a soft kiss to your temple, a gesture that feels impossibly tender compared to what had just transpired. It sends a strange flutter through your chest, and you can’t help but close your eyes, sinking into the feeling. His lips linger there for a moment, as though he’s savoring the closeness, his breathing still a little uneven as it fans across your skin.

You lay there in silence, the warmth of his body cocooning you, and for a fleeting second, it almost feels like more than just a fling. Jake holds you like you’re something precious, his grip on you gentle but firm, like he’s afraid you might slip away if he loosens it. His fingertips lazily trace small circles on your hip, an absent-minded gesture that sends ripples of electricity through your skin.

But even as your heart skips in response, your mind is racing. The intimacy of it all—of him kissing your shoulder earlier, of the way he’s holding you now—feels too close. Too much. Like it’s crossing a line you weren’t prepared to cross. You stare up at the ceiling, the fan spinning lazily above you, trying to quiet the thoughts spinning in your head.

What are we doing? It’s the question that’s been eating at you for weeks now, but after moments like this, it feels impossible to ignore. You’ve been telling yourself for months that it’s just physical—that this friends-with-benefits thing is working. But lying here, wrapped in Jake’s arms, the weight of his body still pressed against yours, you can’t help but wonder if it’s something more. And if it is—what does that mean for the two of you?

Beside you, Jake’s breathing has slowed, becoming more even, and you can feel his muscles relax against you. He looks so at ease, so content, like this is the most natural thing in the world. It’s disarming, seeing him like this, without the cocky smirk or swagger. Just Jake, quietly holding you in the early morning light.

He doesn’t say anything—maybe he’s thinking the same things, maybe he’s not thinking at all—but the silence between you feels charged, like there’s a conversation you should be having but neither of you is ready to start. You know you’ll have to face the reality of what’s happening between you eventually, of what it’s becoming. But not right now. Not yet.

For now, you’re content to stay here, tangled up with him in this moment. His arm still draped over you like he’s anchoring you to him, his breath warm against your neck, and the lingering heat from the sheets creating a bubble you don’t want to burst just yet. It’s safe here, in the quiet aftermath, even if it’s complicated. Especially because it’s complicated.

Eventually, Jake shifts beside you, the movement pulling you out of your thoughts. His arm loosens around your waist, and you can feel him adjust himself behind you. There’s a slight pause before he moves, as if he’s hesitant to break the moment, but then he finally leans back. You hear him run a hand through his tousled hair, the sound of it brushing against the pillow beside you.

With a small sigh, you push yourself up slightly on your elbows, feeling the cool air hit your skin as the blanket falls away. You turn your head just in time to see Jake glancing at himself in the small mirror on the wall, running his fingers through his hair again, making sure it still looks good. It’s such a Jake thing to do—caring about how his hair looks even after everything that just happened—and you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips.

He catches your eye in the reflection, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a lazy grin. “Pull yourself together,” he teases lightly, the heat from earlier still lingering in his tone. “You look a little... well, you know.” His eyes flicker over you in a way that makes you feel warm all over again.

You roll your eyes, but there’s no bite behind it. Instead, you push the covers off and slide out of bed, your legs still a little shaky as you stand. You make your way over to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face and doing your best to hide any signs of what had just happened in the bedroom. The cool water is refreshing, helping you regain some sense of normalcy after the heated intensity of the morning.

When you finally feel composed enough, you step out of the bathroom and make your way through your apartment, finding Jake by the door. He’s already pulling on his shirt, his movements casual and unhurried, as if the last hour hadn’t completely turned your world upside down. He glances at you as you approach, a knowing smile tugging at his lips, but he doesn’t say anything.

The two of you walk out together, the easy silence between you feeling both comfortable and charged, the weight of what just happened lingering in the air between you. The sun is just beginning to rise, casting a soft golden light over the parking lot, and for a moment, everything feels almost normal—like this could be any other day.

You head toward your car, the cool morning breeze brushing against your skin, but before you can reach the handle, you feel Jake’s arm snake around your waist. He pulls you close, his body warm against yours as he leans down to press a quick kiss to your temple. The gesture is light and easy, like it’s something he’s done a hundred times before. And maybe he has—but it still feels different now.

Your heart stutters in your chest as the warmth of his lips lingers on your skin. You wait for something more—for him to say something, to acknowledge the shift between you—but instead, Jake gives you a small smile, his signature smirk just barely there, and turns to walk toward his truck.

You blink, watching as he pulls open the door and climbs inside, the engine roaring to life. His truck pulls out of the lot, disappearing around the corner like it’s just another day. Like nothing extraordinary just happened. Like he hasn’t turned your world upside down in the span of a single morning.

And you’re left standing there by your car, fingers still hovering near the door handle, your mind spinning with a thousand thoughts. What just happened? He kissed you goodbye—and went on about his day like it was nothing. Like it was routine.

But it didn’t feel routine, not to you.

Your stomach twists, a confusing swirl of emotions rising inside you. You’re no stranger to Jake’s touch, to the way he holds you close in private, the way he knows exactly how to make you feel good. That was the arrangement—the simple, no-strings-attached setup that the two of you had fallen into. It had worked perfectly at first. Fun, light, uncomplicated. But this morning, something shifted. And it scares you.

You press your lips together, your fingers tightening around your car keys as you replay the morning’s events in your head. The softness in Jake’s kiss. The way he held you like it was more than just a fleeting moment. The way he kissed your shoulder earlier, something so intimate it almost felt like a confession in itself. But none of it made sense. You weren’t supposed to feel like this. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

Right?

You lean against your car for a moment, trying to sort through the haze of emotions clouding your mind. There’s an ache deep in your chest—something that wasn’t there before. It’s that feeling you’ve been trying to ignore for weeks now, the feeling that this wasn’t just about hooking up anymore. Not for you. And maybe not for him either.

But then why did he just leave? Why did he act like this was nothing more than your usual routine?

You bite your lip, trying to shake off the growing uncertainty. Maybe you’re reading too much into it. Maybe this is just what happens when you start spending too much time together outside of the original arrangement. Lines blur, things get messy, and suddenly it’s not just about sex anymore.

But the worst part is, you don’t even know what you want. You don’t know if you’re ready to confront whatever this is becoming. If you’re ready to have that conversation with Jake, to open up the possibility of things going wrong. Because things were good—before they got complicated. Before last night. Before this morning.

You sigh, the cool breeze brushing your hair as you glance toward the empty spot where Jake’s truck had been parked moments ago. Your mind is a jumble of emotions—confusion, longing, fear, and something else you’re not quite ready to name.

What if Jake feels it too? What if he’s just as confused as you are?

But then again... what if he doesn’t?

You unlock your car door and slide into the driver’s seat, the weight of uncertainty heavy on your chest. You don’t know where this is going, or what happens next, but one thing is clear: things have changed between you and Jake. And you can’t go back to the way things were, no matter how much you might want to.

As you sit there, staring out at the quiet street ahead, you wonder if Jake is thinking about you now, if he’s replaying the morning in his mind like you are. Or if, for him, this is still just part of the arrangement—a fun, easy fling that hasn’t crossed any lines.

Your fingers tap against the steering wheel, the echo of Jake’s kiss still lingering on your skin.

You thought you had it all figured out. But now, standing on the edge of something new and uncertain, you realize that maybe—just maybe—you’ve fallen in deeper than you ever intended to.

And the scariest part? You’re not sure if Jake’s ready to follow you there.

[severinewrites]

Finding Independence Without Love

Dependency is common in some relationships and could happen in both platonic and romantic relationships. We see our partners/friends as a source of happiness every time we feel down. Our clinginess strengthens when we have a special person in our lives, thinking of them as a person without flaws or perfect. This can be an unhealthy way of how we act or think in our relationships with other people, we can’t expect they’ll satisfy our needs immediately, it’s like you are viewing them as the top of our pedestal, admiring them a lot.

I am saying this from my perspective as a young adult, I’ve experienced the first time feeling disappointed in my ex-crush when I hear he likes someone else. It hurts a lot to hear from the person you’ve admired for so long like someone other than you, I mean, it’s a universal experience, right? Getting disappointed or rejected, you start to get mad at yourself like hitting, pulling your hair, or even slapping yourself for not getting chosen, you feel like an idiot for being delusional thinking you’re the “one” for them. It’s a tragic feeling, I know—but I tried to forget about them, not as a friend but as a “crush”.

During my Christmas break, I struggled to cope with my feelings, so I doomscrolled YouTube for 10-12 hours for 3 days straight without reaching out to someone because I needed to isolate myself from what happened, trying to forget it ever happened. Then, I stumbled upon a show called “Moominvalley” on my for you page, I decided to watch the clips, and guess what? I fell in love with it quickly even though it’s been 3 days since I knew about this show. Moominvalley is a comforting show, and what intrigued me about the show is the character Snufkin, an easygoing and carefree enjoys thinking about things and always comes and goes as he pleases, going on adventures. Like Snufkin, I enjoy solo trips, I'm not a big fan of trips with my friends (depends on my mood but I prefer solo to groups) since I do treasure my alone time a lot, able to think about stuff or explore everywhere without any people around trying to drain my energy emotionally and physically. With my solo trips, I'm able to reflect on many stuff without any distractions. Just because I enjoy being alone doesn't mean I don't feel lonely… I have friends who care about me a lot—including my ex-crush but despite them being overall supportive and approachable, I can't help but try to push them away from me—isolating myself, especially what happened between my ex-crush and me, I can't face them anymore something that leads me to isolate myself from them and my friends, not wanting help or comfort from them anymore. I shut myself from them, I don't want to make things complicated. Snufkin really relates toMoninn on a deeper level, making him my kin since he does push away friends, has abandonment issues, fears getting attached, is sad on the inside, and struggles to talk/chat with someone.

I’ve learned the hard way that even the people you deeply love and admire, you need to accept that you can’t control how they feel or act, because well… they are humans, right? They deserve to feel or act what they want, even having feelings for somebody they like, even if it’s not you. It’s sad because that person made you feel alive or wanted, through the physical touch, words of affirmation, and more—makes me so special to them. Maybe that’s the reason why I fell in love with them in the first place. This also relates to the relationship between Moominttoll and Snufkin, Moominroll being clingy and a bit obsessed to Snufkin makes him admire him because of his adventures but unlike Snufkin, he tries to avoid any attachment to Moomintroll, resulting him to leave everytime to get some alone time or to isolate himself in his adventures. Moomintroll is also one of the characters I've kinned too, him being so clingy towards Snufkin reminds how I acted towards my ex-crush but not as obsessive, just right. Moomintroll has longings for Snufkin, always wanting to be in his side everytime, like how I've wanted to be in my ex-crush's side whenever I have a chance too—but sadly they found someone they always want to be close with… I'm glad for them but I tend to feel lonely without them around, yearning for some message or conversation from them—nothing is the same anymore as before… but that's life, there will be changes, whether you like it or not.

Therefore, I still need time for myself and watch more Moominvalley to find my purpose in life outside heartbreaks. Even I would love to talk/chat with them, it’s time to use this vacation to take a break from them for a while, giving myself time to grow as an independent person—not needing their comfort or help and focusing on my passion for writing, like what I am doing right now. Sometimes, we need to depend on ourselves, without needing anyone to fix us. That's what I did to cope.

To end this, I would like to add a quote from Moominvalley from the character Snufkin, he once said:

“You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.” - Snufkin (Moominvalley 2019)

We can't really be free if we admire that special person too much, draining your energy mentally and emotionally. I wish I've heard this show during my childhood then I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreaks all of the sudden. But I guess things happen for a reason. Moominvalley is truly a masterpiece, especially the creator itself Tove Jansson, the one responsible for making this beautifully crafted show for us to love and enjoy, making us learn meaningful lessons.

We humans seek longing, wanting be loved by that person we admired but I know we're better than that—I’m better than that anyways! We know that those people we love are humans too, so why waste our time waiting for approval from them? We could try to look after ourselves and be a independent with or without them—needing no love from them at all! Love can wait but not with hopes and dreams, our passions in life are much more important than some hopeless romance. We don't need that person we deeply admire to take over our lives, we should move forward and never look back! It's such a shame not to take a chance to do what you're passionate about when we only live once.

It's possible for us to grow to independent individuals thriving to make the world a better place! With my strong love for writing, I could write freely, writing down my musings, feelings, and emotions. I’m grateful to be alive where the world is filled with endless possibilities, where you can be free from everything! Be who you want to be, explore everything until you find your purpose—that’s the beauty of independence without love!

“It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.” - Tove Jansson (Fair Play 1989)

[sapphic-agent]

Let's Talk About How Book 3 Ruined Aang

If you've seen any of my prior ATLA posts, you know that I don't hate Aang. In fact, I quite liked him in Books 1 and 2. He was flawed, as all characters should be, but the show didn't shy away from those flaws or justify them. He was called out for burning Katara and rushing his firebending, Sokka and Katara were rightfully upset when he hid Hakoda's letter, he willingly owns up to the fact that his actions helped drive Toph away, and his entire arc after losing Appa and finding hope again in The Serpent's Path was beautifully done.

(Hell, even in The Great Divide Katara says what Aang did was wrong and he agrees. It's played for comedy, but the show still makes the effort to point out that what he did wasn't the right thing to do. You're just meant to understand that he was fed up and acted off of that)

Those flaws and mistakes were addressed and improved upon and helped Aang to grow as a character.

But for some reason, that aspect of Aang's character was completely flipped in Book 3.

The best examples of this are in both TDBS and EIP. Both the show and the fandom are too quick to brush off that Aang kissed Katara twice without her consent, one of which after she explicitly said she was confused about her feelings.

(And yes, she is angry in response and Aang calls himself an idiot. But after this, it isn't really addressed. They go on like nothing happened for the rest of the episode. Aang's lamentation comes from screwing things up with her romantically, not that he violated boundaries)

The show never really addressed why what he did was wrong. Not only because he wasn't given consent, but also because both times he isn't thinking about what Katara wants. In both instances, Aang is only thinking about himself and his feelings. This is something that persists through a lot of the third book. And by Sozin's Comet it ultimately ruins any character development he had built up in the second book.

One thing I feel was completely disregarded was the concept of having to let go of Katara in order to master the Avatar State.

For me, the implication wasn't that he had to give up love or happiness necessarily. He was emotionally attached to and reliant on Katara, to the point where she was needed to stop him from hurting everyone around him and himself. This is obviously detrimental to his functionality as the Avatar. And the point of him "letting her go" wasn't that he had to stop caring about her, it was that his emotional dependency on her was stopping him from being the Avatar he needed to be and that was what needed to be fixed. I don't even think it's about the Avatar State itself, it's about being able to keep your emotions and duty as the Avatar separate.

(If you look at Roku, he loved and had a wife. It wasn't his love for her that messed everything up, it was his attachment to Sozin. He wasn't able to let Sozin go and not only did he lose his life for it, the world suffered for it. It's the unhealthy attachments that seem to be detrimental, not love itself)

And Aang realizes that in the catacombs, which is how he's able to easily enter the Avatar State and seemingly control it. He let Katara go.

So then why does it seem like his attachment to Katara is not only stronger, but worse in mannerism? He liked Katara in Books 1 and 2- obviously- but he was never overly jealous of Jet or Haru. He only makes one harmless comment in Book 2 when Sokka suggests Katara kiss Jet.

But suddenly he's insanely jealous of Zuko (to the point of getting frustrated with Katara over it), off the basis of the actions of actors in a clearly misrepresentative play. Katara showed a lot more interest in Jet and Aang was completely fine with it.

(Speaking of EIP, Aang's reaction to being played by a woman was interesting. He wore a flower crown in The Cave of Two Lovers. He wove Katara a flower necklace. He wore Kyoshi's clothes and makeup and made a funny girl voice. He willingly responded to Twinkle Toes and had no issue being called that. And for some reason he's genuinely upset about being played by a woman? Aang in Books 1 and 2 would have laughed and enjoyed the show like Toph did. His aversion to feminity felt vastly out of character)

I guess my point is, why did that change? Why was Aang letting go of Katara suddenly irrelevant to the Avatar State? It felt like him letting go was supposed to be a major part of his development. Why did that stop?

Myself and many others have talked about The Southern Raiders. The jist of my thought process about it is his assumption that he knew what was best for Katara. And the episode doesn't really call out why he was wrong. Maybe sparing Yon Rha was better for Katara, maybe it wasn't (the only one who's allowed to make that choice is her). Pushing forgiveness? That was wrong. But the episode has Zuko say that Aang was right when the course of action Katara took wasn't what Aang suggested.

Katara's lesson here was that killing him wouldn't bring back her mother or mend the pain she was going through and that Yon Rha wasn't worth the effort. That's what she realizes. Not that she needed to embrace forgiveness. How could she ever forgive that? The episode saying Aang was right wasn't true. Yes she forgives Zuko, but that wasn't what Aang was talking about. He was specifically talking about Yon Rha.

And that was wrong. Aang can choose the path of forgiveness, that's fine. That's his choice. But dismissing Katara's trauma in favor of his morals and upbringing wasn't okay.

I know it sounds like this is just bashing Kataang. But it's not simply because I don't like Kataang, in my opinion it brings down Aang's character too, not just Katara's. But let's steer away from Kataang and Katara for a minute.

The one thing that solidifies Aang's character being ruined in Book 3 for me is the fact that he- at the end of the story- does the same thing he did in the beginning.

He runs away when things get hard.

Aang couldn't make the choice between his duty and his morals. So he ran. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but subconsciously he wanted an out. And this is really disappointing when one of the things he was firm about in Book 2 was not running anymore. His character went backwards here and that's not even getting into the real issue in Sozin's Comet.

There's been contention about the Lion Turtle intervention. For many- including myself- it's very deus ex machina to save Aang from having to make a hard decision. And that in turn doesn't reflect kindly on his character.

Everyone- Sokka, Zuko, Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, and Yangchen (who was another Airbender and was raised with the same beliefs he was and would understand which was the whole point of him talking to her)- told him he had to kill Ozai. They all told him it was the only way. And he refused to listen to any of them, rotating through his past lives until he was given the answer he wanted.

And before anyone says that I'm bashing Aang for following his culture, I'm not. Ending the war peacefully, in my opinion, wasn't the problem. In a way, I think it allowed the world to heal properly. However, that doesn't make up for the fact that Aang refused to make a choice and face the consequences of that choice. Instead, he's given an out at the very last second.

Even if he couldn't kill Ozai and someone else had to deliver the final blow, that would have been better than the Lion Turtle showing up and giving him a power no one's ever had before. It would have been a good compromise, he doesn't have to have blood directly on his hands but what needs to be done needs to still get done. It would also show that being the Avatar isn't a burden he has to bear alone. That when things get hard, he can't run away but he can rely on the people closest to him to help him through hard decisions.

All these issues aren't necessarily a problem with Aang. Aang prior to Book 3 didn't have most of these problems. This is a problem with the way he was handled

[signanothername]

As someone with little to no empathy because of autism, I can vouch that it does it hurt when you upset someone you love because of the lack of empathy.

The thing about a lack of empathy is that you cannot relate to or understand or connect to *other* people's emotions but you do have your own emotions to go off of. It's like a bubble where nothing can go in or out emotion wise and you are stuck with your own tilted view that you distinctly know doesn't encompass everything but it's the best you have.

The closest you can get is an approximation of someone's pain when you hold it up to your own, comparing the physical reactions and trying to think of when you did those things and the feelings attached to them.

It doesn't always work because you don't know when you are *missing* an emotion, something that wasn't present in you to start with or it's an atypical expression of an emotion that the general populace doesn't experience. So with no internal knowledge and faulty data you turn to research about it so maybe you can at least know what not to do to hurt someone even if you don't know why.

You do all of this because you love this person and care about them enough to try and parse through an emotional language you don't even know the alphabet for.

So it hurts and it's frustrating when you mess up and upset them anyway even when you are trying desperately not too. Sometimes you don't even know what happened immediately and that's the worst part.

You don't know how to fix it and comforting doesn't come naturally because you can't connect emotionally like that. So you do your best, you do things that help you and you do the things that you read about that helps while doubting it's effectiveness without the correct emotional display behind it.

But you try and that's the important part.

I know how it feels to watch your loved one go to others for comfort, not out of malice for you, but simply because you can't give them what they need at that moment. No matter how much you want too. (It seemed like killer tried to maybe fix his mistake but it wasn't helping color calm down so he had to let the others take over)

With an added layer of turbo dissociation and not in tune with his own emotional displays or behaviors. I'm sure killer has to get really analytical about it and given his penchant for research and high intelligence, I'm sure it's even more frustrating for him to hurt color when he has gone through all of the things not to do and he should have been watching colors body language and all that but he slipped up because he got too comfortable around color and wasn't paying attention (a product of being around someone you love) mistakes happen and situations pop up that you weren't even beginning to prepare for yet (you can't prepare for everything).

But yeah sorry for the ramble and these are my own personal experiences and I wanted to say something because I have been in killers exact situation and he has become even more baby to me.

(I like to think that when color isn't as upset anymore killer wanders in and puts a cat in his lap without saying anything and curls up next to his feet on the ground and does his weird purr equivalent bone rattle thing because he knows cats help him and he knows purrs help calm down skeletons so he does his best)

Fun fact about me: I have little to no empathy as well

I simply don't mention it

The problem with the stigma around empathy is the false view that you have to have empathy to be even remotely capable of doing good things, which is absolute bullshit, empathy is morally neutral, someone who has empathy can be an absolute asshole and someone with zero empathy can be kind

It's actions that matter not thoughts or what you feel or lack thereof

Killer lacks the understanding of what Color truly needs emotionally, but it doesn't mean that Killer enjoys hurting Color, it just means that he ends up lost on what to do to make it better, and when he tries to do what he knows best (acting on what his mind says than heart) it doesn't work at times cause it's not what Color is in need of at that critical moment

That's where love comes in

Color fully understands this, but he has some social needs that Killer can't provide at the moment, he needs to be held close and to have someone reassure him, and Killer simply can't provide that, and Color does not hold it against Killer in any way, and that's how deep their love for each other is

Killer of course, does try to fix it the best he can, the only way he knows how is by what he observes of Color, what Color likes and what might put a smile on his face

And most of the time it works, others it doesn't, but Color still sees and appreciates Killer's efforts when he knows full well that being connected doesn't come naturally to Killer at all

(Also that image is honestly so adorable gbsdcbsud)

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

The Evolution of Passion: Midnight Kiss.

Hmmm, definitely busting out the "Vampires Kiss" tea for this one. (hibiscus, rose, ginger, cocoa, black tea, rooibos, chai spice and cayenne for bite. It's red, sweet, metallic and oh so good.)

I got an ask (truncated) from danmeiljie " thoughts about what happens in the woods in act 1, and how he initiates with his partner in the graveyard in act 3, But i was curious if you made any connections to his emotional journey and how that's reflected in these different sex scenes and his role in them. Thoughts about vampire physiology and how that might affect his behavior and choices and abilities during sex depending on diet as well."

These are not shallow subjects so be prepared to go deep. You know, Gale bond depth. *snort* I'm going to break these up for length. There is a thing as too much you know.

WARNING: Game Spoilers, Topics of Sex, Abuse, and Adult themes/Language. Not underage appropriate.

This is not fact, just opinion based off my own and game experience. As always, how anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right! No blame, no shame, it's your game.!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Offering a tryst in the woods is a planned move. There is nothing more behind it than getting Tav on his side by using a tactic of seduction to create attachment. He doesn't trust that you won't help him without some sort of incentive. Nobody helps without compensation. Tav is simply a means to an end here. And , in his mind, his only value is found in his body.

And more often than not, at his own expense.

Ooooof. I feel you my moonlit love. I really do.

But it's always worked before, right? Why not now, right?! Get them hooked on his sexual talents (" I'm a consummate lover.") and he will have someone blinded enough to hide his nature and fractured personality behind. This is for survival not pleasure. Emotionally, he is unavailable.

The positions used also reflects this. More so if you let him lay Tav in the grass. If you have the right mods, you will see him offer a kiss and then immediately crawl over to roll Tav onto their side to take them from behind. This position makes sense as it puts him at an advantage. From behind he can control the situation to an extent and it allows him to detach from the situation by avoiding eye contact. Relying on muscle memory to get the job done. Routine.

If you want to get really deep, the position itself could reflect his inner world. Demonstrating how "unseen and unsafe" he feels inside.

But don't fret choice one pickers! It's the same if Tav rides him to the ground. It's a dominating move. He is beneath them. Once again on his back for the thousandth time and in a vulnerable position where in he has been made to suffer countless times.

However, Tav does two surprising things here. They show acceptance of his vampiric nature by offering blood to him. That majorly adds to the experience as a whole I have no doubt. And shows trust in him by allowing him to take it from the same submissive posture he was just in. Tav is now the vulnerable one. Naked and unarmed beneath him by choice.

Forget T & A have you seen clavicles?!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the first option. It is still a positive experience for him. But I truly feel the second option makes the tingling's of feelings happen sooner for him obvious reasons.

Now, here is how I think his plan and feelings start to unravel that night regardless of what sexual encounter choice was made.

First, given that he is now free and fed better than he has ever been. It is my head cannon that his erections are now stronger and easier to achieve than he is used to. And Tav is the first one he experiences this with.

Wait! I know, but stay with me on this...

How would being starved of the very thing you need to run your entire body not complicate that function. Normal sized cocks need a little over half a cup of blood to fill properly. And that half a cup has to come from somewhere else in the body. If he was only fed a diet of rats a bugs that's only two tablespoons of blood a day if he wasn't refusing it. Less than that if you factor in decay from the rat being dead and putrid. And even less than that being kept in his body if he was being tortured.

And what a perfectly on par thing for Cazadick to do. Demand your slaves go and whore themselves out to bring you back food, but deny them what they would need to NOT have to struggle to do it. What a fucking nightmare! Literally!

So, to combat this Astarion would either know a spell to help him or he has figured out how to re route what blood he had to where he needs it, when he needs it. Sounds uncomfortable and exhausting.

But now, he can feed whenever blood is available. Tav, animals, villains, kobolds, Wyll (wink) . There is now enough blood in his system to not only run all basic vampire functions but also allow for spontaneous arousal.

He's not starving and not struggling to be interested. He's comfortably hard and simi engaged. How novel!

Next, Tav treats him like a seven course meal and not a McNugget. Or rather a McStarion in this case. And yes, his milkshake brought an alarming amount of people to the yard. But that's a different topic.

It would be so easy to just proverbially throw him in your mouth and mindlessly nom nom nom till you are suddenly at the bottom of the box wondering if you ate anything at all.

No. I think Tav took him up on that tasting offer to the fullest existent due to him saying "I'd much rather we got to experience each others FULL portfolio of talents once again." Tav was respectful of his known boundaries and made sure he got as good as he gave. He didn't get hurt. And he more than likely got something out of it he's not used to. Real pleasure. And, if Tav let him bite them, he also got something he has always had to beg for and it cost him nothing. And even if he did think it came with a cost, it was a a fair trade for once.

I feel like this is also supported in the morning when he says ..

"Delicious as you were, I didn't want to go too far."

You could take this as the flirt it sounds like. Or, you can read into the fact that he never actually faces Tav when he says it. To me it's him realizing that this manipulation is going to be much harder then he anticipated. And he is realizing that there is a real possibility to actually go that far. Oh shit...

You are his first blood and first truly pleasurable partner in centuries.

How dare you! He's supposed to be controlling you!

On to the next encounter...eventually. Life has been demanding my attention lately. Rude..

[kaivenom]

Cookies with an extra ingredient

Summary: you were cooking some recipe from an old spells book. You went out of the kitchen to get something and when you get in, Sam was eating your creation.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Witch!reader

Warnings: smut, some sort of sex pollen!AU, protected sex (p in v), masturbation (male to female), Sam being needy

Masterlist

Recently, you obtained a new book of magical recipes, you always liked this book. Currently you were preparing a potion that reveals people's true and most brutal desires, you don't know were you could use it but maybe in some case, it could help. The thing is a potion jar it's easy to identify so you decided to make some changes and make some cookies but there is something missing... chocolate chips.

You went to the pantry to take the missing ingredient and when you get in, you went back to the kitchen only to find Sam... eating the cookies.

"Sam, spit the cookie."

"Why?" he says with a cute smile enjoing the food, if it wasn't for the situation you would kiss him.

"Because they have an especial ingredient...magic." he inmediatly spitted the cookie, but still looked desperate at you.

"I have already eaten three of these! Oh my god, what they do?! I'm starting to feel really hot, maybe i got fever, ufffff..."

He started to walk, going around the kitchen, not letting you answer and suddently he stoped. He was next to you but with his back turned on you and his hand pressed on the counter, his breath was heavy. You started to worry about his health, maybe he had an allergic reaction, the other option his that the cookies made effect and he was starting to have the urge to satisfy his desires... but what he desires?

"Y/N, maybe you need to get out." his breath is heavy, more like a groan.

"No, these are my magical cookies so i am going to help you. This cookies made you reveal your desires, tell me what you want and i will get you that, then the effect will pass."

"That won't happen." he slowly turned around, his eyes shinning with a strange look, more dark than usual. "because i can't have the thing i like."

"Oh, came on, if you want it and you can have it the cookies then will work." he started to get close, his eyes going up and down your body, you started to realize what he wanted.

"I can't because even if i burn in desire, this isn't the right way."

"Sam, this is not going to stop until you get it."

"I want you, for months i wanted you," he couldn't continue talking, he sounds more like an animal in heat than a person.

You can't say that you aren't a little turn on but you can also see the struggle he is passing thru. You look at his lips and put your hand on his cheek while he makes a grunt.

"Just tell me, you want me just physically or emotionally." his eyes lighted up, surprised, looking at your lips.

"Both, since we met, i want to date you and fuck you..." the last word came desperate thru his lips.

At this time you were really wet about the situation, your eyes tricked you and made you look down at his crotch. Seeing that, he covered it shyly. You looked up again and slowly move your lips to his. It lasted only a second and separated yourself.

"If you don't do it then it won't go away, with magic cookies or without them... and you said you wanted to date me so i take your word and i let you do it with that promise, if you are lying i will rip your guts."

You grabbed his chin in a threatening way but he took the chance to put his hand behind your neck and push you together into a sloppy kiss. A full moan exited his lips when he met yours again while his other hand went to squezze your butt.

His strenght forced you to walk back and end up pressed against the wall, Sam's lips attaching now to your neck and making you let out broken moans. Both of his hands now on your butt and his clearly hard on pressing right on your wetness thru the clothes.

"You didn't know how much i wanted to do this, how much i dreamed about this... sorry if i am being to fast but i can't wait more to feel that pussy throbing on my cock while i pound you... i really want you to scream my name."

Your arousal grows really fast thanks to his filthy words, you licked his neck and bite his earlobe in response. You didn't know Sam could be so hot, you dreamed about it but it was nothing compared to reality and he even touched you yet.

His hands traveled to your thights and pushed you up, now having him carrying you to somewhere more private. His lips didn't separate from yours in all the way to his dorm, his pulsing erection against your cunt.

The clothes didn't last long when you entered the bedroom. Rapidly, you were fully naked, just like him. His cook looked like he was about to explode, dripping with precum. Now that your body is fully on his disposal, he attacked your breasts. One on his hand and the other one on his mouth, playing with your nipple. You grabbed his hair automatically from the pleasure.

"Oh god, your tits are perfect, i want to bury my face in them and don't get out ever."

"If after this you still want to be with me, you can do it anytime."

"Fuck, i need to be inside you."

"I don't think i can fit your thing inside without preparation." it's not like he is massive big but he is more than the ussual and preparation is always good.

"Then i will have the pleasure to taste your pussy."

You were a blushing mess, with all the nasty things that Sam is saying to you and the touches, you feel your body on fire and Sam's body being on fire too doesn't help either.

You were pushed roughly onto the bed, your legs pushed apart before he inmediatly pushes his face in between your thights. He started with slow and long kitten licks that sent shivers down your spine. Small circles around your clit made you closer to cimax really fast. You both were really needy, for so long, wanting each other bodies and attention, it feels like every touch could get you two to an orgasm. One finger entering you pussy made you almost jump of the bed with a broken moan. Pumping slowly, getting your juices out and preparing you to the thing coming. Another finger pushed your body to your limit, the knot on your stomach making you almost cum.

"I can't wait any longer, i hope you are prepared and i hope i don't hurt but fuck, i want to make you mine," his body is now on top of you.

"I am already yours."

"Now, i am fucking you because i need it desperetly because of the cookie, but tomorrow i will fuck you becuase i want to hear your moans."

He took out a condom from a drawer and put it on his cock. He started to enter your cunt slowly, all the heat from his member invaded your insides. He let out a broken moan and almost fell with all his weight on your body, his strenght falied from the pleasure as you let out heavy breaths.

"i need a second, too much," he couldn't almost speak.

"I need it too, fuck."

"Oh, don't do that or i am going to cum right now." apparentiy your sounds turn him much and thanks to the cookie, he is having trouble keeping all together.

His cock is pulsing inside you as he starts to move, pressure building inside you and hot electricity travelling thru your spine. The bead was cracking under your bodies with every thrust he made, but the sound of his pelvis claping with yours and Sam's moans are louder. Problably, if Dean cames back from the hunt he will surely hear you two, but you don't care. The only thing you care right now is that Sam is on top of you, pounding your brains out of your body, him moaning on your hear with every thrust.

"It's even better than i imagined, your cunt it's perfect, you are perfect."

His lips attacked yours again, brutally and desperatly, his hands squeezing your breasts and ass. You almost coudln't breath from everything that's happening. Suddently, you felt the urge to take control of the situation and breath. In normal occasions, you wouldn't be able to compete with Sam's strenght but now he is vulnerable. You separated him for a moment putting your arms on his chest, he looks at you like he did something wrong. You balanced yourself to change positions and now you are on top with a grin on your face adn a gutural groan from his part.

"Maybe i can help you from here."

You didn't have an answer from his part, just some cursing and low noises. His chest raised and lowed very fast, this new position is driving him crazy. You start to balance yourself and move slowly due to the new sensations that this pose is giving you. Sam's hands travelled to your ass to help you move, every second faster and rougher. You kissed him and wrapped his hair again, trying to get closer to him, if thats somehow possible. The heat it's unbearable now, trying to get out of your body.

"I'm close..." you managed to say.

"I am too, don't stop."

A couple more thrusts and you couldn't move from the pleasure of your orgasm. You pressed Sam against you while his arms were wrapped around you letting you feel his hot cum filling your cunt, trying to recover your breath. You tried to get up but he didn't let you.

"A little more like this, please."

"I can't deny nothing to you."

A couple of minutes passed and you really needed to go pee or shower but Sam's arms were still around you. That's when you heard a small snoring coming from him, he felt asleep. You took the chance to slowly slide yourself out of his grip and go to the bathroom.

When you came back to the room, you considered getting out but you notice Sam moving on the bed.

"Don't go, sleep with me, tomorrow i will make breakfast and we can talk."

That made you smile and get to the bed again, when you were about to touch his cheek and answer him, he was already asleep again. Note taken, you will not make magic cookies again but needy sex with Sam is the best.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I'm just going to come right out and say it, I love Kafka Hibino. He's so goddamn cute that I literally want to just eat him alive. This is my first time writing for him - though I've been thinking about it for ages. I hope you like it, @supersecretsaga And I apologize, I'm wholly incapable of writing without it exceeding 1k words. So, SORRY. I proofed this once on google docs and that's all I have in me today. Any gross errors that look like I didn't mean to do them, message me!

C/W ::: Human Kafka, F.reader, not a lot of swearing. I just don't get the sense that Kafka would swear unnecessarily. Maybe I'm wrong. My perception will probably change. Really, who cares. Um, P->V (unprotected), jumping the relationship gun (but, with him, I would, too.)

WC ::: 3,094 (about 7 3/4 pages on G-Docs).

MDNI UNDER THE CUT

Kafka Hibino was simple, through and through. But when he met you that day in the hospital, his whole life changed. He knew he'd never be the same man he was before he was admitted.

You're a nurse. You were great at your job, and you knew it. Though the first time you saw that big, dumb puppy-energy-giving man, you knew that you were a goner, as well.

He was admitted around 2 am. Settled in around 5 am. He was in a lot of pain from the fight he'd gotten into with the Kaiju around midnight. He had 2 broken arms, bruised ribs. A number of different things had happened to him.

Kafka would be in good hands, though. Really, really good hands.

Your hands.

**** 7:30 am ****

"Oh- oh my god. What was THAT!?" You pulled your hand from the large porcelain tub in his bathroom and squeezed the sponge out over his short dark hair.

Giggling, you blinked slowly because you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. And not just between your thighs. No, this was something else entirely. His stupid haircut, his kind eyes and dumbass smile were hammering their way through your boundaries. The same boundaries you'd worked so hard over the years to build to not get emotionally attached to patients.

"You're an idiot, Mr. Hibino. A complete moron. Have you never been bathed before? That was just a little something extra to help loosen up your muscles, a quick massage. My goodness. It's as if you've never been pampered." You stood from where you were on your knees on the floor and shook your hands out, purposely getting water on his face - you hoped in his eyes - so you would have a reason to gingerly wipe it dry.

"Call me Kafka," he said, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you grab the towel and stand over him.

"What?" You were confused. You didn't realize he'd been asking you something.

"Call me Kafka. It's my name, yeah?" He sounded so serious, so sincere. You nodded and wiped his face with the towel, noticing the small wrinkles as he smiled up at you.

Fuck. He's adorable and you're finding it harder and harder to stay professional.

"No. Your name is Mr. Hibino and that's what I'll be calling you. Ok? Mr. Hibino? Now, let's finish this bath and get you back in bed. The doctor will be coming by soon to check on you and he can give you another massage if you need it." You moved your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them as you continued talking. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Hibino. Your body needs to heal."

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tub.

You kept massaging him, not stopping until he was almost asleep.

This sweet, gentle man, had a power over you that no one else did. And you weren't sure how to deal with it.

Quite a while later (sorry, storyline faux pas - I didn’t take into account healing time. But let’s just say that because he’s part Kaiju that he heals exceptionally fast. Ok? Ok!)*****

**** 1 month later, 10 pm ****

You hadn't seen Kafka since the morning bath you'd given him. He was discharged and sent home to continue his recovery. As a nurse, you knew he would be alright. But as a woman, you were left feeling empty and wanting more of him.

You were home that night, exhausted, but unable to sleep. You tried to keep your thoughts away from the big, gentle man who had stolen your heart with his kind words and warm smile, but it was impossible.

Your mind drifted to the way he looked at you as you bathed him.

How his body was perfectly balanced between the hard muscles he'd earned in his training and the slight squish around his mid-section that you wanted nothing more than to run your fingertips over.

His arms were thick and strong. Yet not battle-worn. He didn't have too many scars, though they'd have only added to his appeal.

His legs were muscular, too. Thick and strong, like his arms. His thighs were something else, something you found yourself daydreaming about wrapping your own legs around.

You wondered what his cock would feel like inside of you. You snuck a glance when he was in the tub. You knew his eyes were closed when you looked at it, bobbing away in the water. You're certain he was hard. Otherwise, you prayed he wasn't a grower because any more than that and you'd be the one being admitted to the hospital.

You thought about his hands on your body, squeezing your breasts and sliding between your thighs. You imagined what it would be like to feel his fingers inside of you, massaging you and bringing you to orgasm faster than you could imagine.

You rubbed your clit slowly, gently. You couldn't bring yourself to fuck yourself with a vibrator or even your own fingers. You didn't want to give yourself that much pleasure. 

You wanted it to be Kafka.

You wanted him to be the one to take you, to fuck you, to make love to you.

You rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow as you yelled out in frustration.

"This is ridiculous. This is so stupid. I - I'm not some teenager who can't control herself." You stood and walked to your closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and your purse and left for the mini mart down the street from your house. 

Chocolate was the next best thing you could think of. Other than, of course, Kafka running his hands all over your body. But what are the chances of that.

What are the chances of that?

The night air was cool against your skin. A nice contrast to the heat you'd built up while thinking about him.

You grabbed a pint of chocolate ice cream and began walking back home.

You felt better, slightly, but still very much wanting.

**** 10:30 pm ****

You were halfway through your pint and the movie when you heard a knock on your front door. "Coming, hold on, please." You walked to the door and looked through your peephole to see who it was. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me. What on earth are you doing here, Mr. Hibino?" The smile on your face was causing the back of your head to strain. You couldn't hide that you felt like your prayers had been answered all at once. But at the same time, you didn't want Kafka to see this look of bliss on your flushed face.

"Call me Kafka," he said softly, leaning against the doorway and smiling back at you. "And I wanted to see you again. May I? Come in, I mean. Please?"

You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.

You watched as he looked around your living room. You could tell he was a little nervous, but so were you.

You'd never felt this way about a patient before. Ex-patient, you had to remind yourself. He was no longer under your care. 

"Ok, Kafka." He smiled at the way you said his name. He'd never heard anything like it before. "Would you like some ice cream? I was just sitting here, eating some, watching a bad movie." You chuckled, showing him the container and spoon.

"Sure. I'd love some." He sat down right in the middle of your couch, and you sat next to him.

You handed him the ice cream and he dug in.

You both ate in silence for a few minutes until he said, "This is good."

You nodded and smiled. "It is. Sometimes chocolate, um, well, sometimes it's the only thing that helps. Y'know?" You looked at him, noticing the way his lips had turned up into a smirk. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're just ... you just ... h-here. Can I? There's a little bit of ... right ..." He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip so slowly and then sucked the ice cream off. "... there. You just had a little on your lip. 'S gone now."

You weren't sure what to do. Your body was telling you to jump on him and fuck him until neither of you could walk. Your brain was telling you to wait and see what other kind of sweet nothings he'd do for you. 

So, you waited. You had no idea your self-control was this well-honed. Again, you’d never been tested like this before.

But Kafka was different.

"You're beautiful, y'know." He whispered, looking at the floor like he was trying to burn holes in it with his eyes. He turned his head, leaning in a little bit closer than you were to him at the hospital. His hand moved to rest on your knee. And he said, "I've never met anyone like you before. I thought I was just going lay in the hospital bed until I was better. But you showed me kindness and care. I know you were just doing your job, but I'm grateful that you were there. That you were … you."

You didn't say anything. You were too busy trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest. You're sure if he'd looked, he'd see your tits jumping ever so slightly from the heaviness of the beating.

"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Miss. I don’t know your first name. I’m embarrassed at how many ‘L/N’ households I went to looking for you.”

Your hand shot up to cover the smile that immediately bloomed across your lips. "That's not important. It's Y/N. And you're welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you. I didn't expect you to come here, though. I'm glad you did." You shifted, moving your knee so that your legs were touching. He didn't move his hand. He held it there, squeezing your knee gently.

"I didn't think I'd come here either. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know it's not appropriate for me to be here, but I had to see you again. I wanted to say thank you, in person." He turned his head and looked at you. You leaned in closer to him, your noses almost touching. "And maybe something else. Something that would make you feel as special as you made me feel when you took care of me."

You were so close to him you could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. He smelled like the air before a storm, and whiskey. But a little liquid courage never killed anyone.

"Kafka," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face. You were fidgeting with a small piece of his hair as you rest your forehead against his. "Kafka. I ..."

He sat up abruptly, "Oh shit! You're not married, are you? I should have asked, I'm so sorry for showing up here so late. Without any warning." He bowed to you and started for the door.

"Kafka! I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone right now. Please, come back. Come sit." You stood and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. "I was going to say I've never felt this way about a patient before. You make me feel like there's something more to life than just my job."

He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of dishonesty. He couldn't find any. "So, you don't mind me coming here?"

You shook your head. "I don't mind you coming here at all. I'm glad you did. I was just surprised, that's all. Please don't leave. Not yet." You held his hand tighter and urged him back down on the couch with you.

Pulling him back in, kissing him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting you to do that since the first time I saw you, too. But you in terrible pain when you came in. How did you have the presence of mind to want to kiss me when you were so badly beaten up?"

He laughed, "I wasn't beaten up, per se. I just didn't come out on top." He paused for a second, and then continued, "And the pain wasn't as bad as you think. I'm used to it. It's a part of my job. But being here with you, it's like I can forget all of that. And just be me. Kafka. Nothing else."

You leaned in and kissed him again, this time with more urgency. His lips parted slightly, and you could taste the chocolate on his tongue. You moaned softly, shifting so that your legs were wrapped around him. He pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled him, grinding yourself against his crotch.

"Oh my god," he moaned, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes. "Y/N. You're so beautiful." He reached up and touched your cheek with his thumb, rubbing it gently.

You pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. His chest was chiseled and smooth, his abs flexing slightly under his cute belly as he breathed heavily.

You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every muscle and every scar. You kissed his neck, biting it gently and sucking on his skin. "Kafka, I want you. I want you so much."

He pulled your shirt off and threw it next to his. "I'm gonna make you feel so good that you'll forget all about chocolate."

You stopped, pulling back from his face, and you laughed so hard for the first time in ages. "Oh, that might be the most serious thing anyone has ever said to me. Challenge accepted!"

He pulled you back into him and kissed you, his hands reaching around to squeeze your ass as you ground yourself against him. He picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently laying you on the bed before climbing on top of you.

You unclasped your bra and tossed it to the floor, allowing him to see your breasts. He gasped as quietly as he could manage, running his hands over them and squeezing them gently. "You're so beautiful. You know that?"

He leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently as his fingers worked at your pants. He slid them off, revealing your black lace panties. You'd never felt so exposed in your life. And you loved it.

"Kafka, please," you moaned as he sucked harder on your nipple, his hand moving down to rub your clit through your panties. "Please fuck me. I need you. I need you so bad."

He pulled back, looking at your face. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you cum? Oh-hoh baby, I will. I might even cum before you do! But don't lose faith. It's just, well, it's been a while? I guess? But that's not important right now." He leaned in and kissed you again, biting your bottom lip and sucking on it gently.

"It's ok, Kafka. I want you. I don't care if you cum before me. I just want you inside me. Please, please." You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe you were begging like this, but you didn't care. You wanted him so badly.

He nodded and pulled your panties off, throwing them to the floor. He pushed his own pants down and pulled his boxers off with them, his cock set free.

You gasped at the sight. It was so much more than what you saw when he was in the tub. "Jesus, I-"

He looked down, "Oh. That?" He turned his head away, "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you've seen um, better? But I make up for it in other ways! I promise, y/n. Just give me a chance."

You shook your head and smiled, "That's not at all what I'm trying to say here. There's not a doubt in my mind you won't fuck me stupid, Kafka." You giggled and reached your arms out to pull him down against you.

He positioned himself between your legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit as he kissed your neck.

You moaned, "Ohhh, fuck. Yes. Do that." Your hand moved to his ass, squeezing it as he rocked against you.

He pushed himself inside of you slowly, stretching you out as he went. The slight sting you noticed dissipated as quickly as the onset. You moaned, your nails digging into his back as he started to thrust faster. "Kafka, oh my god. That feels so fucking good. More. I want more,  please."

He grunted, his cock sliding in and out of you as you arched your back, grinding yourself against him. He sucked on your nipple again, his tongue flicking over it as he fucked you harder and faster.

You couldn't believe how much he was making you feel. You hadn't had sex in so long, but this was different. This was something else entirely. He was with you. He wasn't just there to get himself off. You'd been with guys like that before and they, more often than not, left you with a (literal) bad taste in your mouth.

Your breathing quickened, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And the closer you got, the harder your nails dug into his muscular back. "Kaf-hoh shit. Y-that ... pl- fuck. 'M gonna cum ... very … very soon."

He pulled back slightly, looking at your face as you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back. "Me too, baby. Me too. You're so tight, and you feel so good. I can't believe I'm inside of you. Fuck. I'm gonna cum, Y/N. Oh shit, I'm gonna cum." He grunted again, his cock twitching inside of you as he came hard, filling you up.

You came with him, your pussy squeezing around his cock as he kept fucking you, slowing his thrusts until he stopped completely.

"Fuck," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently. "Kafka."

He smiled and kissed you softly. "RIGHT!?" 

You laughed through a yawn at the high energy he had when you first met, despite his injuries, and how he seems now. “Stay? Stay with me. I don’t want you to go. Tonight. Ever.” 

He held you close to him, kissing the top of your head and brushing your hair down as you drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.

"Just try’n get rid of me, y/n." 

@darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa

@arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess

@bakubunny @reiners-milkbiddies

***If you guys absolutely hate this anime or don't give a shit, please please let me know so I don't keep writing and tagging you in stuff you don't care about! Thanks, mooties! <3***

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Hello there! I've been a fan of your work for a while now and let me just say, your original works and characters have me absolutely captivated! (Your yandere outlaw is one of my top favorite fictional characters! And your yandere cult leader is rapidly rising in the ranks 👀) You put so much detail into all your writing and you really delve deep into the psychology and personality of every one of them so beautifully, not to mention how diverse they all are from one another. Each and every one has such dimension and they're so believable in their actions and reactions! (And can I just say I think it's very clever that your yandere!Milf/Dilf's names start with the acronym's initial)

And your MCs are also quite vibrant and while they remain easily relatable they still have distinct traits that the characters get attached to. Thank you for making and sharing these amazing stories and characters with us, it really makes my day whenever I see you've posted something new.

Now, I know this ask is getting pretty lengthy (sorry about that ^^" I tend to ramble) but I was going through your Yan!Dilf works again and I wanted to ask, how would Dominic react if his darling was someone who's maybe dealt with manipulative people in the past or is highly emotionally intelligent and observant who could tell he wasn't being entirely genuine? But instead of pulling away from him they try to understand what he wants from them and was open about it? Would he ever even become obsessed with someone like that or allow that kind of situation to happen or is he too cautious for it to be possible?

I know you've had a lot of asks so please don't feel obligated to answer this! But in any case thank you again for sharing your works and I hope you have a wonderful wonderful day! 💖💫

My Lovely, you have positively touched my soul with your endearing sentiments ! Truly, you have made my day and I cannot thank you enough for being such a loyal enthusiast of my work, your time is valued more than I can ever hope to express <3.

Your question is an incredibly fascinating one, my Dear; thank you for sharing it with us ! I wish you the happiest and most prosperous of days, Sweetie ^^

TW: Manipulation, Dominic Being Dominic, Vulnerability, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except 'You'.

♡ Dominic is, as you suggested, initially extremely cautious around you. However, he knows he can't just drop you like a sack of potatoes; it would be far too obvious to the people around him, which would surely cause others to find him out as the serpent he is if they ever went digging around his character.

♡ But, when you show him, gradually, like a keeper feeding a feral animal, that your endeavour is not to oust him as an un-human but rather to understand what made him like this in the first place (and all the lace and frills that come with such a monumental task), he regards you...differently than he did before.

♡ Sure, he thought you were very attractive and that you could offer him something other than the resplendence his life is steeped in, but now...

♡ He feels exposed. Seen. Vulnerable.

♡ All things he tries to push back against. Things he tries to bury beneath a grandiose tale of a childhood spent in the most accommodating of educational establishments, lavish mansions and the lap of luxury.

♡ He tries to lead you a merry dance down a version of his life that he wants you to see, rebuttaling your attempts at making him crack.

♡ You tell him you can see past that. He, feeling his eye twitch, believes you.

♡ It will take a long, long time to get Dominic even close to admitting a scintilla of how his psyche works. Or, rather, doesn't work.

♡ And it's only if you manage to grind away at his need to hide his most precious secret - the parasite that wears his skin and controls his mind - that he'll open up.

♡ Fractionally. Piecemeal. But he opens up, nonetheless.

♡ He'll grow to love you in ways unfathomable even to him.

♡ If you thought he was bad without having a background in combatting the manipulation of others, he is insidious now.

♡ You become to him what he could never be for himself; a safe haven. The only person from which he does not hide.

♡ Sure, he keeps the more...dangerous aspects of his personality hidden for a lot longer than others, but you can topple these columns, can shake Dominic from his perch forged from the ivory of a devil's horns.

♡ You can tame him in ways unimaginable. You have only to see him for who - what - he truly is.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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[yanderes-galore]

Could you make Yandere Platonic Arven vs Nemona?

I'll try my best! If anything is wrong, it's because I haven't played the Main Game's story in a long time and never bought the DLC. Sorry for the wait and that it's short! I ran out of ideas :(

Thank you to those who helped me remember their dynamic! This is lighter than the usual rivalries I write since I can't see them hurting each other.

Yandere! Platonic Arven vs Nemona

Pairing: Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Jealousy, Friend rivalry, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Dubious companionship.

The two are way different in personality.

Arven was more isolated and is jealous easily.

Meanwhile Nemona is easily excited and always looking for a challenge.

Honestly, the two of them are easily attached to you/the player in the games.

Well... Arven takes longer due to personal reasons but he certainly gets there.

I imagine Arven is the one more invested in the rivalry as Nemona seems oblivious to Arven's irritated mood at times.

Nemona often takes up your time as a guide, friend, and rival.

She's energetic and just wants to have fun with you.

She lives by your home and already tends to clash with Arven and Penny in game since she seems to be in her own world.

Nemona tends to just focus on you.

She often follows you around and wants to battle with you in all ways.

Then there's Arven... who while he gets used to Nemona in the game, he seems to still dislike her at times.

They have clashing personalities and Arven is more grounded than Nemona.

He's known to cherish those he cares about, in this case that's you... His dearest "Buddy".

The two are good friends to have, even if they seem to have some tension between one another.

One of my followers had a good point in saying their rivalry is mostly one-sided.

Arven is definitely the more serious one while Nemona is more... aloof?

They wouldn't hurt one another but there would be subtle competition.

In this rivalry I feel Nemona would be a bit more aware.

She's very focused on you, so when she sees Arven take your attention and get snappy over you... She has a feeling she knows what's going on.

Nemona's more light-hearted with the rivalry than Arven... but she can't turn down a good competition.

The two definitely care a whole lot about you.

Arven teaches you new recipes, Nemona drags you off to battle.

However they both want to be around you and it often conflicts with one another.

As I said before, to you things are subtle.

That's because Nemona isn't as invested as Arven, but they are definitely still getting into small fights.

It may actually irk Arven when Nemona brushes him off.

Nemona acts like Arven's jealousy isn't a big deal.

Although Arven usually gets her back by distracting you.

The most I can see them hurting each other is like... feeling-wise.

They'd sabotage one another, get into verbal fights, but they wouldn't like... physically hurt one another.

Both are quite clingy with you, Nemona is already following you around often and Arven is doing his best to convince you to stay beside him.

They probably both emotionally manipulate you, although Nemona is more accidental.

While Nemona primarily ignores Arven, I can see her occasionally rubbing it in his face that she spends so much time with you.

Arven sees himself as your best buddy, Nemona sees herself as your true rival.

They usually hide their rivalry and I can see Nemona trying to solve arguments with Pokemon battles.

I don't doubt that they'd both stalk you.

They want to compete to see who's your true friend.

To see who deserves to be your only friend.

They could compromise, but you'd have to hope one of them gives up first.

If you're lucky, their rivalry will fizzle out.

That may actually happen since it's not fully mutual.

However, until then (if it ever happens), you're stuck between the two.

They both want the best for you...

Yet they can't seem to agree on sharing you without clashing with one another.

"Nemona, I think you spend way too much time with them! They had something planned with me today."

"I spend too much time with them? No way! They're meant to battle me today! If anything, YOU spend too much time with them cooking!"

[ohmegayeen]

Thoughts b4 bed, this...got ridiculously long..SKIP TOWARDS THE END for my Peri and Dev idea I'd like to personally see if you don't care about my godparenting ramble. 💖 (I marked it with a star for easy spotting.)

Godparenting is self harm (in certain situations). You CANNOT pair a fairy, who has basic empathy, with a child who is being neglected and/or abused, and expect them to NOT get attached or to love them.

Cosmo and Wanda loved Timmy. They were his parents!!

Juandissimo loved Remy. He couldn't move on from him.

It's also horrible for the kids when they get a fairy who doesn't develop that parental/guardian relationship.

Peri failed Dev because he remained distant and overly professional. (I'm not saying he didn't care, that's a whole other debate. I'm just saying he was not what Dev needed. Dev needed a Cosmo, Wanda, or Juandissimo.)

I'm sure other fairies failed kids in similar situations, maybe even worse, because they didn't want to fall into that emotional trap. It's BEYOND hard not to. You would have to be extremely hardened, dissociated, or heartless in order to do that.

At least the kids get to forget their failed experience.

Fairies have to remember. They have to remember for the rest of their lives that they either:

A) Got bonded with a kid and had to say goodbye, a type of goodbye that's honestly like a funeral. You will never see each other again (except in passing. But you can't contact them.) The loss and yearning would be too much for anyone.

B) Have to remember that they couldn't bond with the kid and thus failed them. They failed that neglected/abused child. That child had to grow up with their abuse without any escapism because you had to remain professional and throw away your whimsy. I'm CONVINCED Peri is NOT the only fairy to be annoying about "da rules". I'm actually pretty sure that's the NORM because of how all the fairies reacted to Cosmo and Wanda with Timmy.

Going into fairy godparenting, knowing that you could come out with either outcome, is self harm to me, (SH is doing anything that you KNOW will hurt you physically or emotionally, it can be any number of things! JS this here because people have a VERY narrow view about what counts as SH!) and really makes me overthink about like...

Fairy mental health? How does fairy therapy look like for these situations? I kind of envision it similar to ppl IRL who work with abused kids need therapy, yet they keep going. They keep moving on and helping kids (or doing their best to).

⭐️All this to say my idea for Peri and Dev:

I would love for Peri to learn from his situation with Dev and why it didn't work. I know ppl want them to get back together asap, but tbh I think a slow burn would work best, for Peri's mental health. I think Peri should shadow his parents and Hazel for a bit, and learn/see how they do things, including how they interact with kids. I think Peri needs some self reflection first.

My idea is this:

Peri shadows his parents for awhile and does some self reflection. While he shadows his parents, he watches Dev from afar. Not like, intently like some ppl HC, just in passing. Like Dev will interact with Hazel and Peri will make passing remarks like "he's a good kid", (if him and Hazel are getting along) or "oh, Dev.." (if he does smth rude to Hazel)

Eventually, smth happens to Dev that finally seals it for Peri, he has already been meditating on everything for awhile, but whatever happens to Dev is the final straw. (I wonder what happens??) And he gets permission to be Devs godparent again and then bursts in to save Dev!

(this would all happen maybe thruout the whole season, and this event would happen at the ending of S2? Ik ppl would be impatient for that, but!! I think it would work best AND be a rlly satisfying season conclusion!!) and a rlly good start for S3 (iiiif we got all that lmao, I'm being VERY hopeful that we get at least 3-4 seasons! which I shouldn't when S2 is still up in the air lol. oh well. I can dream.)

Uuuh. Yeah. IDk just some thoughts I've had. Sorry this was so long. If you read it then wow! I'm shocked haha. 💖 (bonus points if u read the tags hahaha)

goodnight. 💖💖

[queenshelby]

Daddy Issues (Part Four)

Pairing: Dominant!Cillian Murphy & Shy!Reader (& Jamie Dornan)

Warning: Smut, BDSM, Daddy Kink, 4-Somes, 3-Somes, Sugar Baby Arrangements

Summary: Through your best friend, you meet actor Cillian Murphy and come to some kind of arrangement involving intimacy in exchange for being spoiled financially.

Written with: my beautiful wife @darkshelbyfiction

Your PoV

At around eight o'clock in the morning, you woke from your slumber feeling refreshed and pleasantly worn out. It appeared that the entire night's events had left quite an impression on you. In fact, just recalling the events brought forth surges of excitement which you had never felt before. 

The memory of having heated intercourse with Cillian in particular induced goosebumps, sending shivers along your flesh, making you wonder what the day ahead might bring.

When you stumbled into the living room however, only Emma could be found while Jamie had already left in order to go for his usual morning run.

Meeting your eyes, Emma began speaking immediately. "So, did you sleep alright?" She asked kindly, showing genuine concern.

"Yeah, surprisingly enough," you admitted honestly, thinking back to the incredible experiences you had just undergone.

"Cillian did not stay. He never does," Emma explained quietly, running her hands through her messy curls, wondering whether you were upset by how things had ended last night, namely with him leaving. 

"I don't blame him. I hate sleeping in the same bed with strangers anyway," you told Emma lightheartedly, immediately sensing her relief.

"Really? Because I absolutely love staying in the same bed with Jamie. He is surprisingly cuddly," Emma laughed before querying directly how you felt about last night's events.

"Do you have regrets? About last night?" Emma asked, searching your eyes earnestly. There was something unspoken lingering between you two, a bond formed amidst shared experience.

She needed to understand where you stood, emotionally and, much to her surprise, you smiled slightly and leaned closer to her, taking her hand into yours.

"Not really. If I regret anything, it's that our little tryst didn't happen sooner. It was fun and I feel surprisingly comfortable with what happened between the four of us," you confessed casually, raising your eyebrows playfully. "Maybe even too comfortable," you added and, immediately, Emma grinned widely as she stretched herself comfortably.

"I am so glad because I honestly thought I went too far. I never intended to push you into anything like this, knowing how reluctant you usually are when it comes to intimacy," Emma expressed sincerely, cupping your cheek affectionately. Her honesty touched you deeply, and it struck you that perhaps your friendship hadn't changed irreparably due to all the strange occurrences lately.

"No, I didn't feel pushed into anything, Em. We are all good, alright?" you said reassuringly, giving her a gentle smile. You then continued, "I am curious though, Jamie did not appear to be as dominant as I had expected. Is he usually this timid?" 

 Glancing away for a second, Emma responded hesitatingly, "He can be dominant, but most of the time, he prefers to let me lead..." She trailed off, seemingly unsure whether she should continue discussing this or not. 

Feeling somewhat confused, you pressed further, asking "But why is he so generous then? What is his deal if control is not what he is after?" Your expression grew increasingly perplexed as you tried to piece together your understanding of Jamie's behavior.

 Emma shrugged slightly, choosing her words carefully before answering. "Well, think about it like this - a man like him might get bored easily and there is always a risk, considering that he is somewhat famous. He wants security, but without any feelings or strings attached. He has a high libido that needs to be satisfied. He is really into adventurous sex, but he is not Christian Grey. He does not like to exercise dominance. All he wants is to have fun with someone he can trust," Emma explained. 

Your brow furrowed in thought, processing the idea as you mulled it over.  Then you contemplated, "But when he is done with that, doesn't that mean he may stop supporting you sometime, once he wants something more serious with someone else?" These questions seemed pertinent given the circumstances. But Emma, ever resourceful, had answers prepared.

"It's true, Jamie may not stick around forever. However, I believe it's more beneficial for me than harmful," she asserted firmly. "He gives me everything I need right now, and once I'm ready to leave him behind, I will. Until then, it works perfectly for both of us," Emma defended fervently, a stubborn glint in her eye. It occurred to you then that despite Jamie's apparent lack of commitment, his support provided stability and security for Emma during her financial struggle at university.

Perhaps Jamie saw something in Emma beyond mere sexual attraction; something deeper that kept him interested. Maybe it was trust and security that he was after, just like Emma had suggested. Or maybe, he simply enjoyed being able to provide such benefits to someone in return for the pleasure she gave him.

Regardless, your curiosity was piqued about this kind of arrangement, one based solely upon mutual satisfaction and desires. As you delved deeper into conversation with Emma, your initial confusion gradually dissipated, replaced instead by fascination.

"You know, Cillian might be looking for something similar to what Jamie and I have in place, some form of temporary companionship rather than romantic attachment. He just separated from his wife and with this new movie coming out, he is reluctant to continue his usual behavior," Emma pondered pensively, drawing you into the nuances of these unusual arrangements before suggesting that this may be an option for you.

Her proposal was unexpected but certainly interesting. While you initially dismissed the notion, deep down, a part of you couldn't help but entertain the possibility of exploring such an arrangement yourself, especially after witnessing firsthand the dynamic between Jamie and Emma. This type of setup, founded entirely on fulfilling needs and mutual desire, appealed to you tremendously.

But then again, Cillian was much older than you. He had experience and you could not match this experience. He also had a reputation of being a womanizer and you read about several cheating scandals in the past. He was clearly sleeping around and the last thing you wanted was to be one of many. 

"I don't think so, Em. Cillian is extremely gorgeous, but he is not the kind of guy I should get myself involved with. Besides, he's way older than me," you replied, attempting to dispel the suggestion gently. Emma raised an eyebrow at your comment, acknowledging your reservations about age differences, although her gaze suggested a hint of intrigue.

"You are right. Maybe he isn't for you. He is into some kinky shit too. At least so I've heard," Emma murmured suggestively, flashing a devilish smile that made you raise an eyebrow in response.

You couldn't deny that you had always been curious about experimenting with different aspects of intimacy, pushing boundaries and exploring limits. Was it possible that this was just another opportunity presenting itself to indulge those curiosities?

"What kind of kinky shit are you talking about? I mean, we just had a foursome, and I don't think it can get any kinkier than that," you joked, feigning disinterest. But inside, you knew you weren't telling the truth. You secretly craved more intense thrills, more deviant experiences. Deep down, a small voice whispered seductively, tempting you to consider the possibilities that lay beyond vanilla. Yet, you remained hesitant – partly due to fear, partly due to uncertainty regarding the path laid before you.

"Well, apparently Cillian actually likes some elements of bondage and discipline", Emma divulged nonchalantly, smirking teasingly as she awaited your reaction. "Maybe he should have played Christian Grey instead," she then mused, referencing Fifty Shades of Grey again. 

"How do you even know this stuff?" you asked Emma, clearly caught off guard by this revelation. Emma smiled mysteriously, crossing her legs provocatively as she spoke.

"It came up a few weeks ago when we had this threesome. Jamie mentioned it in passing," Emma giggled softly and your face flushed red instantly, unable to hide your embarrassment or curiosity. Clearly, this topic aroused you greatly, but you did not want to admit this to your friend.

"So, he likes to be the dominant then, I assume? Is that what you call it?" you ventured hesitantly, intrigued yet still apprehensive.

Emma nodded affirmatively, adding with mischievous excitement, "Yes! And trust me, there is no better feeling than knowing exactly what you want and getting it. He was being gentle with you. He was much more dominant when the three of us...you know...never mind...," Emma trailed off but you would not let loose.

"Well, I am not you, obviously.  He was probably cautious, seeing that I was really nervous," you said with blushing cheeks, and Emma went on to explain that, in other aspects of life, Cillian was rather timid.

"He is a nice, caring and somewhat gentle guy, who seems to like rough sex," Emma said with a mix of admiration and amusement, as though recounting a personal experience. Your head spun with thoughts as you processed the information she had revealed. Intrigued by the prospect of engaging in a more liberating, uninhibited form of sexual encounter, you found yourself questioning whether you were truly capable of embracing such a radical shift in your usual approach to sex. You wanted to be more open to your needs, but could you?

"Interesting. Well, I am sure there are many suitable women for this kind of power exchange. But, I am not one of them," you determined in the end, finally voicing your inner concerns.

"Are you sure? Because, I could see how attracted you felt towards him, and you are clearly asking a lot of questions. That alone tells me that this might indeed be worth considering. Everyone starts somewhere Y/N," she encouraged gently, her tone persuasive and compelling.

As she spoke, images of your steamy encounters danced through your mind, leaving you yearning for more intensity and eroticism. How would you react in such a situation?

Would you dare take the leap? Your imagination raced ahead, visualising every detail of such a forbidden scenario vividly. You felt your heart race, pounding loudly within your chest. You looked towards Emma inquiringly, seeking confirmation and guidance. She studied your face closely, reading your thoughts accurately. With a sigh, she acknowledged your internal turmoil, saying quietly, "Of course, only you can decide what is right for you." Emma's calm demeanor served as a reminder that ultimately, the choice rested squarely upon your shoulders.

After all, it wasn't as if you hadn't fantasized about this kind of liaison before. The difference was merely the scale of risk associated with it, compared to the rewards it offered.

The thought sent waves of heat coursing through your body, causing goosebumps to rise along your skin and, yet, you declined the notion to engage in something like this. 

You realized that perhaps you were not quite ready for this change just yet and, with that, you were determined not to take Cillian up on his offer on catching up with him again.

Cillian’s PoV

Meanwhile, after his morning run, Jamie caught up with Cillian at his hotel where, in the neat little coffee shop downstairs, they exchanged some lighthearted banter.

"So, did you have fun with Y/N last night?" Jamie asked casually, sipping his espresso.

"Yes. She is rather cute and we managed to find our rhythm pretty quickly," Cillian responded, equally casual in mannerisms, albeit with a touch of melancholy evident beneath his exterior composure. His fingers traced absentmindedly across the rim of his cup.

Jamie observed Cillian closely, picking up subtle cues which indicated that, perhaps, Cillian wanted to see you again after last night's encounter. 

"Are you going to see her again? You seemed to get on quite well," Jamie probed further, raising a brow quizzically. Cillian considered the question for a moment while thinking about how shy and inexperienced you were.

"We did get on, but she is quite young and inexperienced so it might be a waste of time," Cillian mulled out loud, his gaze far away, likely contemplating memories of the sensuous encounter he shared with you earlier that evening.

Jamie noticed the introspective look on Cillian's face and decided to leave him with his thoughts. After a brief pause, he changed the subject abruptly, hoping to redirect the discussion.

"Hey, speaking of time, let's grab dinner tonight, shall we? It's been ages since we caught up properly, without women being involved," Jamie proposed cheerfully, breaking the heavy silence that hung thickly around them.

Cillian glanced at Jamie briefly, acknowledging the suggestion with a slight nod.

Despite the camaraderie among themselves, both men understood perfectly well why they sought solace in casual affairs and no-strings-attached hookups - it allowed them to temporarily escape the monotony of daily routines. They knew how fleeting pleasures could provide much needed respite amidst hectic schedules.

***

Over dinner, Jamie and Cillian discussed their respective lives, ranging from acting projects to failed romances. Their rapport was effortless, built on honesty and understanding.

Despite the surface conversation about work and women, Jamie picked up on undercurrents of dissatisfaction swirling beneath Cillian’s placid exterior that day.

Cillian was about to divorce his second wife, who was an actress as well but was tired of living in his shadow. He had grown weary of the superficiality that accompanied stardom while she indulged on it whenever she could. As he continued drinking, Jamie noted Cillian's solemn state and wondered what demons haunted him behind closed doors these days. 

He appeared drained – not just physically, but emotionally too. There was an air of vulnerability about him that piqued Jamie's interest even more. It occurred to Jamie that Cillian was essentially similar to himself, searching for true fulfillment amidst an empty world full of deceiving facades. 

Without warning, Cillian began discussing his marriage and its eventual end. As he narrated tales of his failing relationship, his hands moved nervously across the table, giving the impression that his thoughts were almost tangible.

“She’s so… demanding,” he uttered with a hint of bitterness in his voice. “Always wanting attention, accolades, and constant validation.”

"And just an hour ago, she sent me a text. She now does not want to go through with the divorce, claiming that 'we need to try harder'. What's left to try?!" exclaimed Cillian bitterly, slumping back into his chair. This latest development added fuel to his frustration, making the already volatile mixture inside him reach boiling point.

There was a palpable sense of despair and exhaustion hanging heavily in the room as Jamie listened intently, offering nothing more than comforting silence. He recognized these feelings well, having grappled with them countless times during his own tumultuous past relationship. Jamie too was divorced, and this is why this arrangement with Emma came as solace to him as he could be himself without judgment from her.

Having been in this situation himself, Jamie could relate to Cillian's predicament because he experienced it firsthand. It took him several months of therapy post his split with his wife, but eventually, he emerged stronger – wiser. Now, his priorities revolved mainly around his career and maintaining a healthy balance between his personal needs and work.

"You need to find a balance man," Jamie thus suggested earnestly, hoping his advice resonates with Cillian.

"And how will I do that?" Cillian questioned, genuine curiosity lacing his words.

"By focusing less on other people and instead turning inward, examining what brings you joy or contentment. You do not need to make everyone else happy. You just need to look after yourself for now. It may sound cliché, but discovering your own needs can sometimes be the most difficult task," Jamie advised earnestly, knowing that self-exploration isn't always easy.

Cillian mulled over Jamie's advice, reflecting deeply on it. He appreciated Jamie's sincerity, but the truth remained that achieving equilibrium required more than just insightful counsel. One must also possess courage to actively pursue personal happiness. Despite feeling exhausted, a spark of hope flickered within him as he grasped onto the potential of redefining his life.

Meanwhile, outside the restaurant, the streets bustled with people hurrying home from work. Neon signs advertised trendy bars, flashing enticing invitations to indulge in late-night escapades. Jamie stood up from the table, signaling the end of their evening, but suggesting a drink at a local bar named "Soho". 

"Let's go and have a few pints before calling it a day," said Jamie gesturing towards the exit.

"Alright, where to?" Cillian enquired, his tone teetering between amusement and weariness.

"Just follow my lead," Jamie replied with a grin, taking charge. Leading the way towards Soho, he guided his mate through crowded streets filled with pubs, restaurants, and colorful storefronts. Everywhere, there was music blaring from clubs and pubs, adding to the vibrant atmosphere. People passed by them in a blur, seemingly lost in their own adventures.

***

With a familiar ease, they entered the dimly lit Soho bar. Dimmed lights cast warm, alluring shadows upon the walls, creating an ambiance perfect for anyone's mood.

Unbeknownst to Cillian, both you and Emma worked at Soho as part-time employees due to your close connections with the bar's owner, Michelle.

Michelle was a woman in her thirties who, just like you and Emma, attended law school during the day. 

Unlike you, however, she was rather wealthy after having inherited a good fortune from her late father, allowing her to own and operate various establishments throughout London. This included "Soho", which was one of her favorite spots. The bar held sentimental value for her, serving as an oasis where she found solitude amidst the bustling city. 

The pair settled into comfortable chairs near the bar counter, surveying the cozy yet lively interior decorated with exposed brick walls, antique mirrors, and tasteful light fixtures casting a soft glow on patrons.

"Couldn't stay away, could you?" Emma asked Jamie after she had spotted him while, all at the same time, you dropped your utensils when Cillian came into view. For some reason, you had not expected to see him again, but here he was, at your work, having a few drinks with Jamie. 

"No, I couldn't," Jamie teased without showing her genuine affection in public. For what Michelle and the other waitresses knew, Emma was nothing but an acquaintance to Jamie Dornan and, ironically enough, most of them wanted her to introduce them to the famous actor. 

Jamie and Cillian ordered a couple of bottles of beer, taking a seat against the wall. Tired from the evening's events, they sank deep into their seats, watching the crowd move restlessly around them.

Cillian occasionally glanced over towards you, unable to help stealing subtle peeks every once in a while. His gaze then drifted towards the bar, where rows of whiskey glasses gleamed seductively under the low lights.

"Stop starring at her. You are making her nervous, "Jamie joked as he noticed Cillian's frequent glances toward you. 

"I am not starring!" Cillian defensively responded, sipping his beer and averting his eyes.

"You are. But that's okay. After all, you got to fuck her last night. Just calm down and let her work though, alright?" Jamie said, smirking playfully.

Cillian hesitated slightly, trying to suppress his growing desire. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding eye contact with you before realizing that hiding his attraction would only become increasingly challenging as the night wore on and the drinks kept flowing. 

"Look, let's call it a night soon," Cillian finally spoke up, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen upon them. "These drinks are starting to get to us anyway," he pointed out just as Emma knocked off and walked over towards their table with a drink in her hand. 

"True," agreed Jamie, nodding along, though a faint smile played on his lips. "Do you want to come to my place? I am sure Emma would like you to join us again," Jamie invited Cillian with a slight pause. 

"Not tonight. I need to catch up on some sleep before my interviews tomorrow," Cillian declined, his eyes betraying a twinge of reluctance while Emma suggested that, at the very least, he should finish his last bottle of beer.

"Sounds like a plan," Cillian conceded, his focus returning to his half-empty bottle while you, too, finished up your shift and joined the trio.

"Hello strangers! How are we feeling tonight?" you asked casually, placing two extra bottles of beer on the table - much to the delight of Jamie who was not yet ready to leave.

Cillian, on the other hand, was yawning and you too were exhausted from your long shift.

After a while and some more conversation between the four of you, you decided to finally excuse yourself and head back to your flat since it was getting quite late. 

"How are you getting home?" Cillian enquired as you made plans to depart, alone.

"I parked out the back. I don't like taking the tube at night on my own," you answered nonchalantly and, much to your surprise, he seemed relieved.

"That makes sense," acknowledged Cillian as he drained the remainder of his drink. "I will walk you to your car and then head off myself, alright?" he suggested to which you nodded agreeably. 

***

As Cillian accompanied you to your car, the night air felt fresh despite the humid summer heat while his body itself was radiating warmth. There was something incredibly attractive about him which intrigued you and he was aware of your attraction too, evident in the way he looked at you — those intense blue eyes burning brightly even under the streetlights, the curve of his mouth hinting at something far beyond simple friendliness.

Yet, you didn't dare say anything. Instead, you chose to walk alongside him silently, cherishing these fleeting moments together, unsure if they would ever happen again after you had already made up your mind not to call him following last night's encounter. 

As you approached your car, however, everything else came to a standstill.

"So, um..." you stammered. "How are you getting back to your hotel? Do you need a lift?" you offered politely, suddenly finding yourself wishing to prolong your unexpected reunion.

Cillian looked surprised but grateful as he accepted your offer without hesitation. 

"That would be grand, thank you," he expressed, reaching for the door handle to open yours for you before walking towards the passenger side of the car and taking a seat next to you.

Your hands trembled slightly as you tried inserting the key into the ignition slot. This small gesture of kindness brought forth so many mixed feelings.

Embarrassment quickly flooded your face, turning redder than usual. Trying hard to regain composure, you attempted to start the engine of your car but your efforts were futile. The car would not start. 

"God dammit," you cursed, hitting the dashboard lightly with frustration. Cillian simply watched, observing how your cheeks flushed deeper with embarrassment as you struggled with the malfunctioning engine before speaking up.

"Don't worry about it. Let me call roadside assistance. They are usually pretty quick in London," he said with a gentle tone while tears started forming in your eyes from pure exhaustion, relief, and vulnerability. It dawned on you – no matter how much you desired to forget your meeting with him, fate conspired otherwise in the most irritating way possible. 

"No don't. I can't...." you began to say, panicking and desperately hoping that he wouldn't notice how utterly disheveled you truly were beneath your professional exterior. "But thanks. I appreciate it." 

"Y/N, you can't just leave the car here. You will get fined if you do," Cillian stated firmly while watching you lose your mind. "It's alright. It's not a big deal. We will just make the call and they will come out and probably replace the battery. I will wait with you. It's all good," Cillian confidently declared, trying to calm you down but you kept shaking your head.

"I can't afford it. It will cost at least a few hundred pounds," you explained with a defeated voice, looking away as Cillian raised an eyebrow, sensing your less than fortunate situation.

He moved closer, offering a sympathetic grimace. "Don't stress, Y/N. I can pay for it," Cillian assured you gently, reaching for his phone and dialing the emergency number as you continued to argue with yourself mentally, debating whether accepting his generosity might compromise your independence. 

"No, I can't accept this, really. Thank you, though. Seriously," you pleaded; however, your pleading fell on deaf ears as he put on his best persuasion tactics.

"Y/N, please. Let me take care of this. Trust me, you can't leave the car here. You will get fined more than the battery would cost, especially if you get towed overnight," he told you and, with little room left for refusal, you caved in, feeling torn apart inside. Despite wanting to maintain your distance from him, there was still something undeniable about the man. Perhaps it was his raw charm, captivating presence, or his sincerity.

"I will pay you back when I can," you whispered quietly, attempting to hide your shame at accepting such an act of kindness from someone you barely knew.

"There's no need," he replied firmly, holding your gaze intimately, but you insisted. 

"No seriously Cillian. I will pay you back

when I can," you repeated resolutely, determined to hold onto what remained of your dignity. Yet, even through the dim street lamps, you could see the intensity in his eyes, burning right through your resolve. He took your hand gently in his, rubbing comfortingly with his thumb.

"Y/N, stop. It's fine," he whispered softly before, finally, roadside assistance picked up the phone.

After providing the necessary information, Cillian handed it over to you. With his guidance, you navigated through the automated system until a service provider confirmed the arrival time. Relief surfaced across your face.

Cillian smiled, recognizing your gratitude. "Thank you," you breathed deeply, feeling calmed momentarily, allowing yourself to relax against the cold leather seat, your heart racing as you realized how close you now stood to him due to the limited space within the confines of the car.

"Do you want to go back inside while we wait?" you asked, but Cillian shook his head head decisively. "No, let's stay out here. I prefer it outside," he stated firmly, pulling out a cigarette packet from his pocket and lighting one up. His eyes turned glassy as smoke swirled around him, creating an ethereal aura surrounding him. Your eyes followed his every move.

"You know you don't actually have to wait around with me. You can go with Jamie and Emma," you said sheepishly, glancing at Cillian briefly, trying to gauge his reaction. He only chuckled softly, shaking his head playfully, clearly unbothered by your suggestion.

"No, I had enough excitement last night and, to tell you the truth, these things are a lot of work," he admitted candidly, blowing out a cloud of smoke before continuing.

"So, you are saying that threesome are hard work, huh?" you questioned curiously, raising an eyebrow while secretly admiring his frank honesty. He smirked wryly, tossing the cigarette stub away into the darkened street below.

"Yes, don't you think?" Cillian asked before continuing this conversation. "I mean, they are fun, occasionally, but not regularly," he admitted candidly, making eye contact with you once more. You couldn't help but feel drawn to him as he spoke with such openness, his words resonating deep within your core. You found yourself unable to resist probing further.

"So, you prefer one on one encounters then?", you queried curiously, amused yet somewhat confused by his admission. "Well, mostly," he responded candidly, blowing out another puff of smoke. "Though sometimes it depends on who I'm with and the chemistry." Cillian added thoughtfully just as, finally, roadside assistance 

arrived to change your dead battery. Their appearance provided temporary reprieve from the escalating sexual tension between both of you.  

The mechanic worked efficiently on your car, carefully replacing the old battery with a new one. While they completed their task, Cillian and you stood outside and you were getting visibly cold. 

He noticed your shivering and pulled off his jacket to drape it over your shoulders, engulfing you warmly. You felt like a bird trapped in a cage - caught up in the magnetic pull that seemed to exist between you two. Unconsciously, your body shifted slightly closer to his, seeking some form of heat from his frame. But, instead of reacting, he merely stared straight ahead, appearing unfazed by your proximity.

When the mechanics were finally

done fixing your car, you silently wondered why he bothered helping you tonight. Hadn’t it been too much trouble for him? Nonetheless, you refused to express any signs of indebtedness or sentimentality and, after he paid the mechanic's bill, you both jumped into your car.  

Despite the late hour, traffic was relatively smooth and quiet, allowing you to navigate the streets together seamlessly. As you cruised along, the mood became increasingly awkward.

You exchanged polite, neutral conversation which did nothing to alleviate the palpable tension. Despite sharing laughter over trivial matters, you couldn't shake the feeling that the air was charged, electric even. You attributed it to the circumstances under which you met – a combination of intense desire and circumstance, but you also couldn't deny that something else lay hidden beneath it all. Something far more potent than simple attraction.

Unphased by this however, you dropped off Cillian at his hotel. After thanking him profusely again for everything, he said goodbye, kissing you on the forehead tenderly before stepping out of the car and heading back inside.

"It was good to see you again, Y/N. Call me know if you ever want to catch up," he said and, with that, the door closed behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You sat there for a moment, taking in the lingering scent of his cologne mixed with your own musky pheromones. The memories of your passionate encounter played vividly in your mind, consuming you completely. Your fingers traced light patterns upon your skin where his hands had held you so tightly. Unable to escape the power he held over you, you drove back home, haunted by his touch, knowing deep down inside that you should not be getting involved with this man. It was something you should not pursue and, with that, you remained resolute to avoid him from that point forward. 

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[violetasteracademic]

Hello!! I absolutely adore your posts and how well you've researched and thought everything out. I am curious what you think about Mor being Azriel's mate. I go back and forth on the question - it's a lot to tackle with Mor's sexuality and how mates are chosen etc. I feel like there's some language that could indicate they're mates, but I know it's not a popular theory in the Elriel bubble and ACOTAR fandom as a whole. It would also solve the question of "what would Azriel do if him and Elain aren't mates, but he found his mate later on?" Just curious if you have any thoughts on the matter. :)

Hello my love! First of all, I want to genuinely thank you for your kind words. I have quite a few days in this fandom where I wonder if I fit in here, but my deep enjoyment for writing theory posts and fanfics keeps me going! You caught me on a day I was sort of in my feels about it, so it was really lovely to see a kind word attached to the ask!

I am 100% a Morrigan and Azriel are Cauldron breeding mates just like L/ucien and Elain truther, and I have soooo much to get into about it and am bringing my usual receipts. I'm pretty convinced that even if she ultimately opts not to go that direction, she for sure was thinking heavily about it.

This post is EXCEPTIONALLY long (as usual) because I think Morrigan is a character that receives unjust hate in every microcosm of the fandom and some things need to be noted, and I hope you all will give it a chance even if you dislike Mor or hate this theory!

It is important to remember that every character is in fact *not* a real person, but the author. And sometimes character flaws are not intentionally curated for arcs and development, but they are author flaws. I believe this is partly the case with Morrigan. I don't spend a lot of time critiquing SJM. This is not because she is above reproach, it's simply because there are plenty of people out there doing it and there are valid spaces for that. That being said, I cannot address the Morrigan situation without addressing the very real issue of SJM and her blind spots when it comes to representation. This is something that SJM and Bloomsbury have addressed and made necessary steps to improve:

Time article published January 30th 2024, found here.

SJM has fallen into a lot of bad tropes and stereotypes when it comes to her BIPOC and LGBTQ representation, to the point where she has hired sensitivity readers to ensure she does not continue to so do. This is a great thing, and personally I think sensitivity readers should be the bare minimum and the absolute norm and not solely employed in response to criticism. Alas, it is a new addition and her past mistakes live on.

Sexuality is a spectrum, and while some people might identify with the way SJM has represented it, she had a pattern that she did not break until recently: Tokenizing sexual representation as bi characters interested in having sex with all genders and orientations without experiencing emotional attraction outside of their preferred gender.

*TOG spoiler* The Aedion bi reveal in the second to last book served literally no purpose other than- look! More representation! He had no romantic or emotionally intimate experiences with men throughout the series, but very suddenly and randomly reveals he has sex with men. It is mentioned once, then never again, because he is pursuing a heterosexual relationship. That is a valid experience with sexuality but in the context of ToG it was a brow-raising and unearned attempt to throw in an extra queer character because she was being criticized. That's a hey you tried but maybe do better next time.

But then it happened again with Helion- freely having sex and experiencing physical attraction with both men and women but only suggestions of having fallen in love with a woman, and will likely only persue a hetero relationship.

Then it happened again with Morrigan (with a slightly flipped script), who only experiences love and romance with women but freely has sex with men. Now we see a *pattern* and at this point its like, mmkay, skill issue. Even if it does feel authentic and representative to *some* readers, it is also a reflection of the authors limitations exploring emotional intimacy with her bi characters and just treating them as wanting/willing to have sex with anyone while only like liking just boys or just girls.

I bring all of this up because I am going to bring in my usual methods of comparisons, themes, development, ect- but I am typically talking about things SJM did exceptionally well. When it comes to Morrigan, I don't necessarily think she has done things all that well. But the threads are still there, and my love for Morrigan and experience with her themes live beyond an irritating skill issue on the authors part. Lets get into it.

I've made quite a few posts about the usage of the mating bond as a plot device and the development of theme. The best one to catch up on if you'd like is probably this one here.

The biggest indicators to me that Morrigan is Azriel's corrupted Cauldron (aka breeding) mate are twofold: parallel behavior between Mor and Lucien as well as the development of Morrigan's theme of her value being tied to her breeding in ACOWAR alongside the introduction of the mating bond being nothing less than a tool for powerful breeding, also for the first time in ACOWAR.

With the confirmation that the Asteri corrupted the Cauldron, along with the conversation regarding the Asteri forcing mated pairs outside of sexual orientations and not caring (*HOSAB), SJM doubled down on all of this. The Asteri need powerful offspring. They will force queer women to mate with men to do it.

Spoiler alert: Celestina does *not* prefer males. And the Asteri do not care.

CC also, in my opinion, cemented the two-bond theory. The Mother Bond (also known as Urd or Wyrd) the true soul-mated pairs, and Breeding Bond- created at the behest of the Asteri.

With breeding bonds, you can experience a sense of ownership and possessiveness over someone you are not even remotely romantically interested in:

Both Mor and L/ucien go stiff during representations of their *alleged mates interacting romantically with someone else even when there is no attraction or emotional intimacy. For L/ucien, he doesn't even know Elain. He doesn't automatically assume they will even be together, because he wants to know more about her personality and decide if they are a good fit. Honestly? Super healthy and valid.

Morrigan is having her moment during ACOFAS. She is very much out as queer (again, with some confusion of whether or not she is bi due to a skill issue on the author's end, but 100% confirmed to not be romantically interested in men) so why is she going tense at the sight of Azriel acting like a BDE husband to Elain? The unjustified and unsympathetic take (imo) is that she is being weird and jealous and wants Azriel's attention even though she doesn't want him. This makes no sense. She has actually only ever acted positively towards Elain, and before this dinner mused on Azriel giving Elain truth-teller without a shred of jealousy. But then to see them together, even though she does not want Azriel and only wishes for his happiness, she tenses, then recovers quickly. To me, both of these moments indicate a jerk reaction to the breeding bond at work.

There is also this idea of feel a pull to explore their *alleged mate just once:

L/ucien actually has already seen Elain, and although he had some immediate instinctive reactions, it didn't leave him immediately feeling like this was the woman he was supposed to be with. Alternatively, Morrigan deeply loves Azriel, just not in that way. She loves him so much that sometimes she wonders if she should try, just once, just to know for sure, even though she is not capable of falling in love with men. Both of these scenes are from ACOWAR, and tie into the way mating bonds are finally described, and how most mates feel like they should try:

Even though neither Mor or L/ucien experience romantic feelings for their mates, they feel a pull to try. They think about giving things a chance just to be sure. This is not something any of our other mates have experienced.

This passage also leads me to another important note- which is the severity of mating bond rejections. Again, all of this is in ACOWAR and thematically connects. Both Elain and Mor have very good reason to be afraid of a mating bond rejection. It can drive a male mad and make them go violently insane. We can criticize both women all day long about how they should just reject their mates and have the conversation so everyone can move on, but when this is what is on the table for them? A man possibly killing because of the power of the mating bond? That is no joke.

The only reason Morrigan slept with Helion is because she was sick and terrified over Azriel handing Eris his ass because he called her a slut. Mor has already seen Azriel act in an uncontrolled and violent manner that could not easily be stopped on her behalf. If she is afraid of what a mating bond rejection will do to Azriel, the depth and complexity of her decision, and her behavior to try to distance and avoid the conversation is a lot more sympathetic. I also believe that Morrigan, Azriel, and Elain will be doing some work together in Vallahan, and the issue of the Cauldron being wrong for both Azriel and Elain will resolve during that storyline. You can read more about that here.

And then of course, there is this:

Rhys only brings up Mor when Azriel brings up the Cauldron. That feels extremely intentional to me. I think Rhys either knows or assumes that Azriel and Mor have a mating bond. I think both Az and Mor know (I also think Azriel absolutely knows Mor is queer, and their weirdness and his constant confusion and staring at her has more to do with that than being in love with her, because he doesn't understand why she is sleeping with men at all.) Crack theory, but I think Eris knows. What happened between Mor and Eris isn't a secret, it was all revealed in ACOFAS. But I think somehow, for some reason, Eris is also aware of the mating bond between Az and Mor, which is why Morrigan gets so pissed when Eris needles her about not telling the whole truth. She isn't trying to hide what Eris did to make herself look better (he didn't do much, really, still left her to die even though he did her a solid by not accepting her as his wife) but he also knew that a Blood Duel could be called by Az over her.

Here's the thing: ACOWAR states that some courts allow men to kill each other over their mate choosing or having other partners. The bonus chapter clarifies that violence as the Blood Duel. I do not believe the Blood Duel can be called over anyone over any situation- it is specific to mates. I could be wrong, but it seems strange that Rhys would talk about outlawed violent practices that is not allowed in his court but is in others, and then we would see the Blood Duel brought up as the Autumn Court tradition, and not see them as one in the same:

Ultimately, all of these characters are grappling with their choices being affected by deeply held cultural beliefs about the mating bond.

If Azriel and Mor are breeding mates, she is struggling with genuine love for him but being unable to love him romantically. She thematically is dealing with hiding her sexuality because there is no greater dishonor to the culture of her family than a woman not being used for sale and breeding. If Azriel and Mor are mates, so much of her behavior and her themes and experiences make so much more sense. Rhysand's response to Azriel thinking the Cauldron was wrong when he has a mate in the Inner Circle whom he already loves makes more sense. Azriel knowing Mor is queer and not understanding why she sleeps with men but also not pushing her to have a conversation about their bond makes more sense.

Everything makes more sense if Az and Mor are mates.

If they are not, well, skill issue, I guess.

Either way, I truly hope Mor gets her HEA and SJM's employed sensitivity writers will help her do it justice.

How did we do? Did anyone stick with me on this one? Have I won you over? I can't wait to see what happens, however it pans out! And I'm grateful for the addition of sensitivity readers to Sarah's work. I hope she does her best to represent as well as she can!

[loveemagicpeace]

💘The moon and your emotional reactions🌙🎧🌸

🌙The moon sign reflects your emotions and how you feel emotionally. How you perceive things, what you need, how you take care of people and where you feel best, etc. The house represents how you emotionally react to situations and how your moon works in the events. Where are you most vulnerable and how do you approach that. Here I will give a couple of examples of how the moon appears in signs and houses.

🌸Cancer Moon - your emotions run deep and you feel many things that others do not. Many times you don't want to show your emotions like that and you stay strong inside. When you really love someone, the love for that person is eternal. Your first reaction is emotional, which means that everything that will happen, your first reaction will go through emotions. How you will react in practice is shown by your house, for example: with the moon in the 7th house means that regardless of how emotionally you perceive things and feel them, you will be able to look at them from two perspectives and always want to have a conversation with people about them. You will always want to work things out. Especially in love. Also emotionally, u feel best when u buy something new or something that warms your heart (a favorite thing or something similar, because you have a cancer moon anyway).

🩵Taurus moon in 8th house- your emotional response will be stable, patient and calm. You can control your emotions well and how you react to them. You can often calm people around you with your stability and calmness. Your emotional response is always under control, you hardly lose your temper. Although many times you can put your pain in food, drink, music or by buying things. Your reaction may be just a hug without words. Because you are a person who likes to feel touch. But also With Moon in 8th house- in practice, your reactions may not be noticed because you will want to cover up your emotions. You won't want to talk about them. But they can be very intense and deep. Because the moon is in an unpleasant position here, emotions sometimes start to show in a way that you pour out all your emotions out loud (tears through anger). When something really hurts you, you get really deep. You will always want to face the truth even if you know it will hurt you.

🎸Sagittarius Moon in 3rd house- your first reaction will be optimistic, fun, you show your emotions through humor. But at the same time, your reactions can be quick and unpredictable. You can be a very independent person emotionally and many times you also expect that from others. U always think that everything that happens is growth. With Moon in your 3rd house it means that your reactions will always contain communication and thinking about it. You will value people's words. And you will look at something from several different perspectives and in the end realize that this is not about you but about others. You will be able to evaluate other people's thoughts.

🌿Aquarius Moon in 6th house- your first reaction will usually be sudden and unexpected. Although many times you won't talk about how you feel. You are not as emotionally open and can come on rather coldly. But you always defend yourself and your emotional response is often rebellious. With Moon in 6th house- it means that you don't think too much about the event itself, but in practice you want to implement some kind of compromise and a rational way. You want things to make sense. And usually seeing how others influence your routine and how you can include them in it.

🫧Pisces moon in 11th house- your first reaction will be emotional and vulnerable, and it will show on the outside. Maybe you can show it through crying or an emotional escape. You can often be hurt by what people will find out about you. For you, many things are sacrifices, and you may feel that you sacrifice a lot for others while others do not. Many times you will turn to the past - and be emotionally attached to it. With Moon in 11th house it means that you will be able to look for your answers or emotional support through friends. You can talk to them about how you felt. It can mean that you will need some time to talk to the person about your feelings and actually understand things.

🥨Libra Moon your first emotional response is rational - find a solution. You want to serve the person and you want to understand the person and their perspective. You think from the logical side, and what is right and what is wrong. You think a lot before you react. You can also overthink your emotions and emotions of others. With Moon in 12 house it can mean that your emotions and reactions are invisible and are only within you. It can mean an emotional escape or closing in on yourself. Many of your reactions are related to the past. And maybe sometimes you don't want to talk at all or you're afraid to talk about how you felt. You may also fear the reactions of others. It can take a long time to actually talk about your feelings and show them to others.

🕺🏼Virgo Moon in 5th house - your emotional reactions can often be anxious or nervous. And also practical, which means that you look at things through practical aspects. Many times cleaning or tidying up calms you down. And maybe you won't know how to react at first. With Moon in 5th house-you actually find joy and happiness in the things you do and you don't really dwell on a problem. But it can happen that you share things publicly. Or you will feel the best emotionally when you do something that reminds you of your childhood or do something creative.

🧁Leo Moon in 2nd house- your first emotional response is often impulsive and you usually acting out of your ego. You may also become rude or start to embroil people in arguments. You will defend yourself.But you can also be caring. You usually express your emotions through sports or hobbies. With Moon in 2nd house means that your emotions will be shown in practice through material things, money or something you can buy. Maybe you will bring something to someone (food, drink) or buy something expensive and beautiful. When you want to show someone that you care, u will buy them something you know they like.

🎧Aries Moon in 4th house- your first reaction is always anger. You can be quick to anger and quickly say things that are not appropriate, especially if the person says something related to you. Although your anger also passes quickly and then it doesn't matter anymore. Many times you feel better when you go somewhere and be with yourself. Also nature is good for you. With Moon in your 4th house it indicates that in practice you still want things to be right. Many times it can happen that you look for emotional support from your family or people who are close to you. You have compassion for the things that happened. Maybe in practice you will just hug people and say a few nice words to them.

♟️Capricorn Moon in 10th house- your first reaction is actually no reaction. Many times you don't react emotionally to things that happen, but you just walk away or leave them as they are. You don't like drama and your reaction is always calm and mature. You need some time to process your feelings, and then you talk about them. With Moon in your 10th house it means that you approach things when you see that some time has passed. You always think about what will happen and how it will happen. You don't like to go back to the past. And you don't like to waste a time. U want something that it is stable and you always want a quality and good conversation.

🌴Gemini moon in 1st house- your emotional response will always be through your words and your thoughts. You can tell 100 and 1 reason why something is the way it is and how it should be. There is a lot in words and conversation here. It could also be that you want to convince a person of something else. You will always be inclined to talk about how you feel no matter what. With Moon in 1st house- means that your actions will be quick and clear. You'll want to talk right away and clear things up. Your emotions will show on your face so people won't take long to figure out how you feel. A one-on-one conversation is always the solution for you.

💗Scorpio Moon in 9th house- your first emotional reaction is through deep intense emotions. Many times you don't want to show them, but your intensity is seen anyway. You usually show emotions when you want to hurt someone. You can also start manipulating people or show deep anger through emotions. With moon 9th house- it means that in practice you just want to experience life and grow through everything you've learned so far. Which means that many times you are looking for answers to questions and the reason behind them. You want things to be meaningful. You also travel a lot when you are hurt because that's when you find yourself the most and renew your emotions. You can either become cold about the whole thing and ignore it, or you can decide to give people a chance anyway. It depends on how much passion you feel for it.

✨Ig-bekylibra✨

-Rebekah🍿⭐️🫧

[konohaslutt]

✨12th house synastry ✨

My experience with Venus in 12th house synastry was quite a ride. This is my personal experience with this placement, I also needa vent because THIS SYNASTRY PLACEMENT FEELS LIKE TORTURE

It began when I met my first boyfriend at work. I was inexperienced in relationships, and we rushed into things without fully understanding each other. At times, I wished I could predict the future to change my decisions back then, and I'll tell you why. I have a lot of Cancer placements in my astrology chart, and I can't help but think it impacts me in a particular way. My moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and twelfth house are all in the sign of Cancer. It's a bit overwhelming, to be honest, and I can't help but hate it at times. Meeting my boyfriend's family was a trip, and I immediately noticed the difference from my own. They were super close and family-oriented, which felt weird to me at first 'cause my own family was pretty disconnected. Being with my boyfriend and his family made me feel comfortable, like they were my family instead. It was kinda messing with my head. As time went on, I grew closer to his family, but unfortunately, my boyfriend was toxic and manipulative throughout our relationship, especially in the beginning. He was a gaslighter, and it felt like my presence triggered negative reactions from him due to his past baggage. He even humiliated me in front of his mom, calling me names. As our relationship deteriorated, I desperately wanted out, but I was now emotionally attached to his family, making it even harder to leave.

I was closest to his younger brothers, who were around my age. The middle I’ll call James and the youngest I’ll call Adrian. I have Venus in 12th house with James and moon in 12th house with Adrian. We played and laughed like kids, and when I look back on those moments, it's like I'm reminiscing about my childhood all over again, even though I'm in my early twenties. Funny thing is, I don't really have many fond memories to look back on from my actual childhood, so those times with them are what I cherish the most. I had never felt that kind of connection with anyone before, and I didn't even know I had a playful side until I experienced it with them. Trying to express that side of me always felt awkward and uncomfortable before, but they showed me what it was like to let go and have a little fun. Those moments with them were like discovering a new part of myself. We watched each other grow up, and for a while, it felt like I'd found my people. But deep down, there's a part of me that regrets feeling that way. Good things don't last forever, and sometimes life has a messed-up way of teaching you that lesson. I had to learn it the hard way.

James started acting strange and I could tell there was something different about the way he acted towards me. Sometimes he would give me these looks, like he was paying attention to how I look when I get ready to go out. He'd get all awkward and shy, and he'd also watch the way my boyfriend and I interacted with each other. It almost felt like he was studying us. I felt like I had an inner knowing, a gut feeling that there was something going on with James. It was confusing because he would act hot and cold towards me, making it hard to maintain our friendship. We were so close before, but his behavior made it difficult to understand what was happening between us. When we would talk, he would always struggle to make eye contact with me. He'd look down or look away in another direction, almost like he was trying to avoid me. It was clear that something was definitely going on. I mentioned it to his sister and my boyfriend, and they dismissed it, saying he's just awkward. But deep down, I had a feeling that there was something more going on, something they weren't seeing.

I found it strange that everyone around us claimed we were so similar. They would call me James 2.0, and my boyfriend would often say I acted just like him when I reacted to things in a certain way. Even his mother would comment on how I behaved like him when I was frustrated or lost a game. It was uncanny. Even his brother commented on the resemblance, and my boyfriend even said I was like a female version of him. We had a lot in common, enjoying similar things and sharing hobbies, which added to the strange connection. There was this one time I got frustrated and said something, and his sister replied, 'You act just like him.' I felt flustered and denied it, saying, 'No, I don't!' I stormed off, and she teased me, asking, 'Why are you so mad?' It was like she could see right through me. I was puzzled by the strong feeling that washed over me whenever they compared us. I often wondered if he felt the same way when they made these comparisons. Sometimes I’d catch myself acting like him, and it would make me feel confused and a bit freaked out. Why did it bother me so much when people pointed out our similarities? I noticed he would react strongly to me, especially when it came to competition. He would become extremely competitive, more so than with anyone else. Winning or being better than him at something seemed to trigger a strong response. I found it intriguing how my presence would bring out this side of him. But it was also very annoying cause it felt like we’d clash with ecahother.

There was this memorable trip I took with his family to the Bay Area for a ballgame. He was a huge fan, and after the game, we stayed at a hotel nearby. We spent the evening exploring San Francisco, sight-seeing and stopping at some stores. It was during that time that I realized something between us. We stopped to admire the ocean, and inexplicably, I felt compelled to turn and glance at him. He was some distance away, fixing his hair, and as our eyes locked, the moment froze in time. He stood there, dumbfounded and unable to look away, his gaze fixed on me. I felt calm as our gaze locked, and I looked away. I couldn't shake off the intensity of that moment throughout the journey. I found myself wondering how he felt about it. As we divided into different cars, my thoughts kept returning to his deep, engaging stare. It was an experience unlike any other, and I couldn't help but wonder if it lingered in his mind too. It made me realize he had hidden feelings for me, and I began putting all the pieces together. His strange behavior started to make sense – the shyness, the avoidance of eye contact and interactions with me, the way he would look at my boyfriend and I when we were together.

From that moment on, I found myself becoming aware of my own emotions. At first, the realization was hazy, almost like an unconscious feeling that was deeply buried within me. I had been suppressing it without even realizing it. The revelation was a mix of realization and discomfort. My relationship with my boyfriend was already rocky and complex, and this newfound realization only added to the frustrations I was grappling with at the time. The situation was far from ideal, and a love triangle was the last thing I needed. It seemed like a complicated mess I didn’t want to be tangled in. I knew I wasn't getting the emotional fulfillment I craved from my boyfriend, but ending things would mean losing his family and the connection we shared. It brought on a sense of secrecy and isolation, something that felt unfamiliar and unsettling. I had never kept a secret this significant before, and it made me realize what having a hidden, dark secret truly meant.

The thought of how his family would react if they discovered my feelings was a painful one. I cared about them, and the thought of betraying their trust and love for me was soul-crushing. I wrestled with my emotions, trying desperately to suppress them, but every time our eyes met, those feelings came back, stronger than ever. It was a battle I couldn't seem to win, and the guilt and shame were overwhelming.

Anyway there’s a lot more to this experience but I don’t wanna write too much. That’s my experience with the Venus in 12th house and it feels miserable. Comment down below if you want to hear the rest of the story and I’ll make a part 2.

[emin-folly]

Thank you for your answer! I was the one who asked about what Eobard's doing earlier haha

I also have this other question, but do you think he's able to get attached to someone else to the level he is to Barry? Since it's an obsession from his childhood, I imagine it would be hard to replicate, but I would love to see how his character plays out with others outside of the Flashfam, as much as I love them already

Hey! Welcome back! And you are very welcome~! I hope it was helpful to you lol

Excellent question! To really properly answer this, I'd like to briefly break down Eobard's relationship with Barry, if you don't mind! Now, for characters like Eobard and Barry, trying to accurately and fully explain in depth their dynamic in just a paragraph or so is basically nigh impossible lmao. These two just have such a rich and multilayered relationship that I can really only give you the bare Cliff Notes lol. Also, I just want to apologize because uhhh. I get really kinda rambly here haha oops

Okay so, let me first preface this what exactly the core of Eobard's whole character is: Love.

Eobard just wants to be loved. That's it. That is the root of everything he does.

To explain, we gotta go all the way back to Eobard's childhood. From what we see in the comics, Eobard is a very abused and neglected child. His parents wanted a gifted and successful child so they handpicked all his skills and made him very good looking. Unfortunately, they didn't get the memo that they still had to actually show love to their child for him to be successful. Ignored and shunned by his parents, baby Eo was very depressed and extremely desperate for any kind affection/attention. That's when he discovered the Flash. And I think the fact that it was Barry specifically played a major factor in his obsession with him.

Of course the Flash is very important to Eobard but something deeper that really resonated with him was Barry's ultimate pureness and unconditional love and compassion.

Eobard looked at Barry and saw someone who would love him unconditionally and without hesitation. In every sense, Barry really is pretty much the only thing that got Eobard through the dark times in his young life. The older he got, the more and more his parasocial relationship with Barry and the Speed Force began to consume him.

Eobard is very capable of love. The problem is, he's never been taught how to actually express it in a healthy, normal way so he lashes out, violently and obsessively. Because that's the only way he knows how. I think he definitely, on some level, recognizes that he is unlovable that's what drives people to reject him. To deal with this, he just retreats back to his fantasy; "Barry would understand, Barry would love me."

Sooo, yeah, you can imagine when the fallout eventually happened, you can see why it would utterly break him, emotionally and mentally.

To answer your question of if he would be able to love someone on the level he loves Barry, I would say definitely no lol.

Barry is just so, SO deeply intertwined with Eobard at this point that you can't really tell where he begins or Barry ends. It also has a lot to do with his obsession being formed during the most vulnerable and formative years of Eobard's life. Even if you hard set restarted the universe, these two would always have a cosmic connection with each other that you just can't erase.

As for other people, he is shown to have definitely gone back into other peoples' past and altered them drastically to suit his needs, ex: Hunter and August. But it's really only just more or less the one time and for certain reasons like he either wanted to manipulate events to play out a certain way (Hunter) or because he also saw a little too much of himself in them and was extremely jealous of their relationship with Barry (August). But honestly, most of the time when Eobard interacts with others, it's always either because he joins a supervillain group or he just happens to run into them coincidentally (like with Hal, the Justice League, Wally, etc)

Except for Thomas Wayne. Specifically the Flashpoint version.

I know I already talked about him but his and Eobard's relationship is really kind of unique and bears going more in depth.

Long story short, their whole thing started in Flashpoint, when Thomas killed stabbed him through the back. Then, in the Button storyline, after Eobard is revived (by the power of gay) and broke out of prison, he decides to immediately go and rough Bruce up as a kind of "gotcha" to Thomas. In the middle of their fight, he comes across Thomas's letter to Bruce and then he just?? Starts waxing poetic about "Oh Thomas, Thomas, did writing this make you feel better? As you burned with your world?" etc and it's like b r u h

This is literally the only interaction you had!! You just beat him up, mocked him and then he killed you. Why are you acting like you suddenly have a deep history together asjdgfsKJLGK

And it doesn't stop there. In a one off comic Tales From The Dark Multiverse Flashpoint, Barry dies and so to cope with this, Eobard tries to turn Thomas into his very own "Eobard Thawne", a ruthless stalker who would obsess over him. Because in Eobard's mind, to be obsessed over is the same as being loved, it means attention. Which is, notably, pretty much exactly what he wants from Barry. In the end, Eobard even went so far as to give Thomas a gift, what he so desperately wanted: his son and his family back. Whether Eobard did this out of any kind of sense of generosity or a more selfish motive is up for debate but it definitely says a lot.

In a following comic that's a prequel to the Button storyline, we see Eobard actually saves Thomas from the death of the Flashpoint universe and pulls him into the main timeline.

This is really significant because who else do we see Eobard go through this much effort to torment them? That's right--Barry. Now, of course Thomas isn't close to being on Barry's level in Eobard's eyes, far from it. But it's really clear that Thomas has become such a fixated point of interest for Eobard. By pulling Thomas out, Thomas essentially becomes a paradoxical being, and I think Eobard is really fascinated by that. He really likes having someone else on the same playing field as him. It's like Eobard, Barry and the other speedsters are playing a game of invisible chess which pretty much everybody on Earth is oblivious to, except for Thomas. Thomas is the only non speedster who actually knows the scores.

Could you argue that Eobard is just doing all of this for revenge? Sure, I suppose you could. But knowing how Eobard works, it doesn't feel quite accurate to just leave it at that. There's just too many little hints and cues of Eobard's love languages at play to just ignore that. Also like, Eobard doesn't like talking about his (true) feelings hardly ever, instead he wraps them up and disguises them with pretenses. He will say one thing while doing a completely different thing, a lot of times you can't take Eobard's words at face value.

As it is, Thomas seems to have become pretty synonymous with Eobard to the point now, whenever you see Flashpoint Thomas, it's very safe to assume that a certain yellow rat isn't too far behind~

I definitely agree with you~! I also absolutely love seeing Eobard interacting with other characters outside his scope of obsession, but sadly, Eobard doesn't really? Have much in the way of dynamics with other characters, as he really doesn't do people and people also tend to kinda hate him? But! There are a few exceptions, off the top of my head:

Eobard and the Rogues from the Justice League animated comic

Eobard and Poison Ivy's interaction from the Injustice 2 game (bow chica bow wow)

He and Superman actually have a brief but really poignant moment in the Tales From The Dark Multiverse

He and Al Desmond also had a brief partnership in the Sliver Age comics which basically consisted of Eobard mind controlling and pressuring Al into a life of crime, but I did definitely get the vibe that Eobard liked him--tho again, he has a very horrible way of showing it LOL

Also in the Silver Age, he had a brief dynamic with Star Sapphire (not Carol tho unfortunately) He was very flirtatious with her (he was like that with a lot of other women too--which definitely comes back to him being desperate to be loved) Anyway, uh wow, I didn't mean for this to be this long?? LOL If you'd like more concise, shorter answers in the future, just lemme know~!