#and I don't hate last kiss it's just a downer
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self-made-cages · 1 year ago
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Heard we're doing OG Speak Now song sorters (pls dont yell at me lol)
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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 6 months ago
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i've been having a couple of downer days recently, and i kept looking for a verse i haven't read thrice yet for some comfort, but you're age! gap verse has been a pleasant escape even though its not what i was looking for. you're writing never fails to make me feel better ari 💕💕
Here's how they met 💜
Bruce sighed. He was starting to hate talk show appearances, but at least this one had never been too bad. Angelique was chatty and fun but not grating. Her show ran as school let out. So grannies watched after their naps and kids watched getting off the bus. She ran a little something for everyone.
He assumed he was here for the grannies.
"I'm so sorry I'm late the shoot ran over and I couldn't get away."
The voice caught his attention. Not the fake starlet over dramatic gushing, but genuine distress. And he half turned to look. You looked like you came from a shoot. Straight off the pages of a glossy magazine.
"No worries, Miss Y/L/N we got your call in enough time. We'll just touch up your face and you'll be good to go," the manager greeting you, said.
Bruce smiled a little. Clearly, you were a frequent guest. You thanked him profusely and trotted off. Not needing to be told where to go. And as you go, there's several crew members you can greet by name. You've either been here a lot or worked with them before. Or both. But, it's endearing.
He turned back around listening to Angelique get her updates on where production was. "-And Y/N is in hair and makeup as we speak."
"Oh, bless her heart," Angelique said. "That's what I get calling her last minute." She turned to Bruce and held out her hand, "Are you ready?" she asked.
"As I'll ever be," he chuckled taking her hand, "You know these sorts of things aren't my forte. My oldest on the other hand-"
"Don't you worry about a thing," Angelique reassured him, patting the hand she was holding before letting it go. "Y/N is an old pro- Ah! speak of the devil!" She swooped over and kissed you on either cheek. "You look absolutely divine, is that one of yours?"
"You know it is," you tell her laughing, returning the gesture. "As if I could walk in and NOT wear my own design, you'd never let me live it down."
"So true. Darling," she said grabbing your hand and pulling you over to Bruce, "I want you to meet Bruce. You'll be on stage together today. You know it's charity week and I though it would be great to highlight all the work you do for school arts programs along side the Wayne foundation," she said.
"Hello," you tell him, holding out your hand.
"Pleased to meet you," he said, taking the hand you offered warmly. Giving you his most charming smile. You did look good. And he could tell they hadn't done much to your face or your hair. "I'm a big fan of your work," he commented.
Your smile didn't falter but your eyes narrowed slightly. And Bruce cringed internally Shit. She thinks I mean the Playboy spread, he thought. "Your last movie, the drama, especially. The range of emotion and the depth- It really was incredible."
"Thank you," you tell him. "It was challenging but I really enjoyed it."
Bruce felt his face heat when Angelique coughed and he remembered hearing that you had the ability to make someone feel like they were the only person in the room. He'd forgotten for just a second. In just that brief moment that he was waiting for an appearance. "It showed I uh- my kids made fun of me when I cried at the end-"
"Aww, Angelique gushed, "This is amazing. you guys keep up this chemistry. It'll go totally viral." She bounced on the balls of her feet and kissed your cheek again, "I'll have someone bring you a coffee, sweetie. You're going to start wilting soon."
And before you could say anything or Bruce could offer to go and get it for you himself, Angelique had bustled off to find and assistant to give marching orders to.
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lucy90712 · 5 months ago
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Heyy could you write a Marc guiu one where the reader is insecure about her stretch marks and Marc walks in on her trying to cover them with foundation and he wipes it of kissing them telling her he loves them and she’s beautiful .. x
a/n this is awful I’m sorry "It's so nice out we should go to the beach" Marc said 
"Yeah that sounds like fun" I said slightly hesitantly 
"Lets go then I'll pack everything" he said running off 
I love the beach I do but I hate wearing a bikini or any form of swimsuit they always expose far too much and I don't want anyone to look at my body. That being said Marc seemed so excited about going to the beach that I couldn't say no, he's finally finished his season and this is his last summer in Barcelona before he moves to Chelsea so I can't be a downer just because I'm insecure. Once Marc had packed everything from upstairs I went to get changed and put on the bikini that has the most coverage and then I put on some shorts and a shirt as a coverup which I don't plan to take off. 
We made it to the beach and because it's a nice day it was really busy we did manage to find a quieter spot but the amount of people around made me nervous. My plan was to just sit and read but Marc had other ideas he kept bugging me to go swimming with him and there's only so many good excuses I can come up with. Eventually I exhausted all of my excuses which only took an hour and then I had to agree to going swimming. If I could've worn my shorts in the water I would've but I know that would only result in more eyes on me and a lot of questions from Marc and I'm not in the mood to talk about my insecurities today. 
As I took off my shirt and shorts it felt like I had a million eyes on me which isn't true but even one person looking is far too many for me. Marc took hold of my hand and led me to the water while I tried to use my other hand to cover up as much as possible. Once we were in the water I felt a bit better as no one could see my stretch marks but I know that people are looking at us. Part of me knows that people are only looking because I'm with Marc and so many people here know who he is but the other part of me is scared that people are looking at my body and judging me. For a little while I forgot about all of my worries and just had fun with Marc that was until he got a bit more playful and started picking me up and throwing me back into the sea of course that got us a lot of attention and I know people were taking pictures which will be literally everywhere by the end of the day. Just the thought of that made me want to cry so I made Marc put me down and let me back onto the beach so I could cover up again. 
~~~~~~~~~~
Since going to the beach a few days ago all I've seen on social media is pictures of me and Marc and all I can see is my stretch marks on my hips and thighs. Some people did point it out and make horrible comments which were definitely the minority but for me it didn't matter one comment is enough to make me even more insecure. What makes it all worse is that Lamine is hosting a pool party and me and Marc are supposed to be going as the rest of his friends going too. Again I'd love to not go or spend the whole time covered up but I know I can't as that will only mean I'm asked more questions which isn't what I want. 
While Marc was at the gym I saw a tiktok of a girl covering up her stretch marks with foundation which sounded like a solution to all my problems. I don't usually use a full coverage foundation but I do have a few so I found them and got changed into my bikini so I could start to cover the parts of my body that I don't like. After putting some on I could still see the lines on my thighs so I started putting on more so that they were completely covered. I was so engrossed in making sure I was happy with the coverage and that you couldn't tell that I'd put foundation on that I didn't hear Marc come home nor did I hear him call my name and then I didn't hear him enter the room until he made a noise that alerted me to his presence. 
"What are you doing amor?" He asked voice laced with sadness as he already knew what I was doing 
"I-I'm" I stuttered not able to say what I was doing 
"It's ok let's just put this down" he said taking the foundation bottle out my hand 
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry" I said breaking down in tears 
"No apologising it's ok I'm not mad at you I promise I just want to help you but I need you to talk to me" he said 
I couldn't say anything I just cried all of the insecurities I've been feeling just became too much and I realised that what I was doing is so stupid. Marc held me close to his chest and rubbed my back to help calm me down which took a little while but he knows exactly what to do to help make me feel better. Once I stopped crying he led me to the bathroom and grabbed a cloth to wipe off the foundation I had put on which he did incredibly gently and while constantly complimenting me. 
"You are so pretty I love every single part of you" he said 
"All of these marks are so beautiful every single one of them they make you who you are and I love you every single part of you" he said 
"But they're ugly everyone else thinks so and your friends will too which I why I wanted to cover them" I said 
"I don't think they're ugly and neither should you the people that hate them are stupid they are either childish men or people who are jealous of how beautiful you are so they have to find something to tear you down" Marc said 
"And my friends are neither of those things they probably won't even notice and if they do they certainly won't say anything to me or you and if they did they wouldn't be my friends anymore" he added 
Hearing his words made me feel a lot better about myself because I know he's being truthful as Marc wouldn't lie to me ever especially not about something like this. He knew that as much as I wasn't crying anymore I wasn't in the right frame of mind to sit in a bikini surrounded by his friends so he cancelled on them so we could spend the day together. He told me to go and get changed then come downstairs so that's what I did and when I walked into the living room he's set up loads of blankets and snacks for a movie marathon. For the rest of the day we hardly left the sofa we watched movie after movie while cuddling and Marc made sure to make me feel loved for the entire day which is exactly what I needed. 
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loveshotzz · 2 years ago
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I have a pretty good one awhile ago but I don't ever see myself writing it.
Reader and Eddie are good friends, Argyle drops by his trailer to buy, and he ends up flirting with the reader. Later reader and Eddie go to a party, Argyle is there, and in sure you know where it goes from there
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Argyle x fem!reader
You can call me names if you call me up
Warnings:18+ Weed dealing, weed smoking, mentions of drinking, slight mentions of hellcheer? (eddie has a crush and we make fun of him for it) kissing, semi public fingering (f! receiving)
Word count: 5.8k
beta’d by @superblysubpar
Authors note: This is my first ever Argyle fic! Thank you @sleepy-princ3ss for letting me write this! I had a lot of fun this one but it’s scary to write a new character so let me know what you think! I also had a good time writing Eddie as our best friend who doesn’t want to fuck us. Wild right? Still, there’s lots of Eddie in here too 💕
The summer heat always feels extra sticky inside Eddie’s trailer this time of year, the stale breeze that floats through his cracked window does nothing to cool you down. Thumbing through the worn covers of the records Eddie keeps in his room you hum along to the last few chords of Ride The Lightning. When the covers of Back In Black and Blizzard of Oz stick together, you grimace as you pull them apart. A crumpled cut of a babe from a Heavy Metal Magazine is the ‘glue’ that was holding them together.
“Eww Eddie! What the fuck?” god, your best friend was gross.
Clumsy loud footsteps bring him to the entrance of his room, bangs sticking to his forehead from sweat, his face flushes an even deeper shade of red when his eyes zero in on what you’re glaring at.
“I - uh,” coughing nervously, he scratches the back of his neck, the chain wrapped around his wrist sliding down his arm, “I don’t - I don’t know how that got there.”
Scoffing with a roll of your eyes you examine it a little more closely, careful not to touch it. The blond hair and the big blue eyes were a dead give away why this had to have been his favorite.
“She kinda looks like Chrissy don’t you think? Like if she got a metal makeover or whatever you’d call this,” snorting when his face turns into a tomato, his own glare takes over his features when he narrows his eyes at you.
“Why are you even snooping through my records, this one just started?” blinking quickly with embarrassment he looks like he’s ready to explode and you’ve never been more pleased with yourself.
Opening your mouth ready to bite back with something that you were sure was going to send him over the edge, the sound of three quick knocks followed by a single fourth one cuts you off before you can even start.
“Who’s that?” confused at his lack of communication with anyone crashing your hang out, he snaps - gesturing for you to step away from his records before he answers you.
He’s halfway out his bedroom door with you quick on his heels when he finally does.
“Jonathan and his friend from Cali are here to pick up real quick,” groaning at the sound of Jonathan’s name, Eddie laughs loudly before signaling for you to shut up with a finger to his lips.
It wasn’t that you hated Jonathan, he was just always such a downer when he’d join in on your smoke sessions.
Opening the door when you cross your arms with a nod signaling you’ll behave, he turns his charismatic Munson charm up to a ten with a wide grin.
“Byers,” giving him a slight bow, he extends his tattooed arm wide inviting them in, “Byer’s friend.”
You see Jonathan first, who gives you an awkward small wave and a tight lipped grin, lifting three fingers you give him the same energy.
“Oh hey man, the name’s Argyle excited to see what kinda weed you got out here,” Jonathan’s cute friend that follows him in was not what you expected as he clasps his hands together rubbing his palms excitedly stepping through the threshold.
Chestnut hair longer than Eddie’s sways as he walks in, the top of it hidden by a flipped bill green cap. Its smooth texture makes your hand twitch, you’re almost positive it’d feel like silk against your fingertips. A big dopey smile graces his full pink tinged lips as his already bloodshot brown eyes meet yours when he finally turns to see you in the hallway.
All the loud colors and clashing designs on his clothes makes the corners of your mouth tug up. Curiosity piqued, you throw him a more flirtatious wave, fluttering your lashes for good measure.
Eddie rolls his eyes from behind him catching onto your antics, but Argyle looks like he’s been turned to stone, frozen in place as he takes in your barely covered frame. Leaning a shoulder against the wall you watch his eyes trail up the uncovered expanse of your legs till he hits the frayed ends of your jean shorts, your spaghetti strap tank top gives him the perfect view of the curve of your breasts barely hidden beneath the thin fabric. Sweat beading off your heat kissed skin.
Clearing his throat he shakes his head when he feels his jaw go slack, glancing worriedly at Eddie who’s already too busy rummaging around the living room looking for his trusty metal lunch box.
“Don’t mind her, she’s just my partner in crime,” waving a dismissive ringed hand in your direction as he digs behind the couch Jonathan just got settled on, Argyle’s face falls slightly at the nickname.
That still didn’t stop him from watching you push yourself off the wall and walk to the kitchen island, sitting yourself on the cleared spot on top. Legs moving to the beat of the music still bleeding out from the speakers in Eddie’s room, you knew he was completely transfixed on you as he rocked back on his heels.
“Got it boys!” cheering himself on loudly, it’s your turn to roll your eyes.
“Only you would lose your lunch box full of drugs Munson,” winking at Argyle after you roast your best friend, his smile turns shy when he looks away.
“Bold of you to insult me when you smoke for free,” squinting with threatening eyes, he flips the lid open, the metal connecting with the wood of the coffee table in a loud clunk.
Sticking your tongue out at him he scoffs before turning his attention towards Jonathan pulling out two different bags of the new strains Rick had just supplied him with.
Argyle watches you both with confused eyes, unsure what to think of your banter as he feels the shift in your stare. The heat of it makes all the blood rush to his cheeks when he dares to meet it. Waving him over, you remind him to actually finish walking in. Eyes going wide at the realization, he looks down as he walks over to stand in the space right next to you.
Leaning his back against the formica countertop, your knee brushes the side of his arm with every small kick of your dancing feet. He smells like the kind of weed that makes you feel bad for whatever Eddie’s about to sell them and a hint of an earthy toned cologne. Dark eyes lifting up to yours, his breath catches in his throat when you meet his gaze instantly.
“Sooo, how’s it going?” purposely nudging him this time, you get a smile to finally break across his nervous face.
“It’s uhh- it’s good, Jonathan’s mom is super nice. Her cooking is shmackin,” giggling a little, he told himself it was because of the lingering effects of the weed they smoked on the way here, not because of the way you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth as you listened.
“Oh yeah, dinner at Joyce’s is always a hit. She really is the sweetest,” eyes crinkling in the corners when you grin at him, he was even cuter this close.
“How long are you visiting?” resting your chin on your shoulder when you look up at him, the height difference is still noticeable despite your advantage. His cheeks turn bubble gum pink at your flirty questioning.
“Just for a few weeks, I don’t want to put them out too much you know? She’s got a full house over there with everyone back,” you catch a hint of sadness in his mellow voice. He missed his best friend, that was more than evident. The thought of only seeing Eddie a few weeks out of the year sounded miserable.
“So you and Jonathan huh? How’d that even happen?” The difference in their personalities was astounding, but even you had to admit that Byers came back from California a little more relaxed. Meeting Argyle you’re starting to figure out why.
“Ahh yeah, dudes was like having a total meltdown at school one day about some stuff with Nancy, I felt bad you know, he looked like someone kicked his dog.” Glancing over at his friend he laughs at the memory.
“So I just showed him the ways of Purple Palm Tree delight and the rest was history.” Smirking proudly when he looks at you, his eyes briefly drift towards your lips curled up into their own grin.
“Finally! Someone got Byers to chill out!” Your praise is loud enough to get a side eye from Jonathan and a laugh from his cute friend.
“It’s super nice of you to come all this way to visit Argyle, I hope you make the most of your time here,” sweetness drips from your words making his eyes grow as big as saucers when he catches the slight invitation hidden inside them.
Jonathan finally speaks loud enough for the whole room to hear, snapping your attention away from the pretty stoner boy.
“Are you guys going to the party at Rick’s tonight?” shoving the bag of weed he just bought in his back pocket, his beady eyes dart between you and Eddie.
Argyle’s still in his own world and Eddie’s got a front row seat to his completely smitten gaze dead set on your face. Despite being annoyed with you all afternoon, you’d always been a good wingman when he needed it. Lips pulling up in a mischievous smirk he wiggles his eyebrows at you before answering.
“We are!”flipping the lid to his lunch box shut with obnoxious force, you’re truly shocked he hasn’t broken it yet with his need for dramatic flair.
The sound of metal clanking loudly snaps Argyle out of whatever lovesick daze you already had him in from just from batting your lashes and showing a little interest. His eyes connect with Eddie's, a sheepish look taking over his face from being caught openly gawking.
“We are? what part-“ Eddie glares at you before cutting you off.
“The party I was literally just telling you about before they got here,” he looks pointedly at the boy shuffling his feet next to you.
Argyle’s eyes stay fixated on the dirty carpeted floor doing his best not to stare, completely oblivious to the way Eddie was trying to help him out, not scold him.
Glancing over at the cowering boy, it’s like a light bulb flashes on top of your head when you realize Eddie was trying to help you get laid.
“Ohhh that party! Sorry, stoner memory you know?” bumping your shoulder with his, your lips twist up in a grin when the chocolate of his eyes meet yours, “Totally going”
The look on Argyle’s face is hard to read as a mixture of excitement and fear cross over his features at the same time. Shifting uneasily, he keeps looking at Eddie from the corner of his eye but he can’t stop the smile that slowly spreads across his soft lips, big pearly whites flashing at you.
“C-cool, I’ll totally see you there,” coughing as he scratches the back of his neck before quickly turning his attention to Eddie, “And uhh- you too man, I’ll uh see you there too!” the last part comes out loud enough to be a yell, his nerves making his voice shake.
“Uhhh, yeah man. For sure,” Eddie’s tone is laced with confusion, eyebrows raised in question as he looks at Argyle like he’s growing a second head.
Jonathan looks at his friend with wide eyes, his cheeks turning rosy from embarrassment from his outburst. Shaking his head, he stands up with a pat on his thighs - giving the universal gesture for ‘it’s time to go’
“Alright, well this got awkward. I think we’re gonna head out, we’ll see you guys tonight,” beckoning his friend to follow him towards the front door, he steals one last look at you before almost tripping over his own feet following Jonathan, flashing you a lopsided grin.
Shutting the door behind them Eddie turns to you with a smirk that you want to smack off his face.
“Look if that’s what you’re into -“ you throw a stray Readers Digest at Eddie before he has a chance to finish teasing you.
“Oh? Would you like him more in a pleated skirt waving some Pom Pom’s for Jason and his goons?” jumping off the counter you go for the jugular, your smirk growing when you get the same hard glare from earlier in his room.
“Listen, Caspian likes who he likes. I’m just the guy behind the wheel,” hands raised in mock defense, you snort rolling your eyes walking away with crossed arms.
“Eddie, your dick isn’t the Prince of fucking Narnia,” his boisterous laugh booms over the music and your glad he can’t see the way your lips twitch up at his antics, butterflies making their way inside your stomach at the thought of seeing Argyle’s goofy smile again again.
——
You’ve always hated parties, especially Reefer Rick parties. Messy and way too loud, it wasn’t just the usual crowd at Harrington's, dodging leering stares around every corner, you cling to Eddie’s arm as a deterrent.
“I don’t know what you were thinking wearing that skirt to Rick’s,” laughing at the permanent look of disgust that was stuck on your face as the two of you weave through the crowd, you turn your head up to stick your tongue out.
“You’re gonna give that poor kid a heart attack,” Eddie shakes his head when he sees the Cheshire smile that takes over your face as you approach the makeshift drink station, “Death by bone - Byers!”
Eddie’s outburst makes you jump when your eyes meet Argyle’s from over the keg on the dining room table, the stoned grin on his face faltering when he sees your arm wrapped tightly around Eddie’s. Big brown eyes only grow bigger when he gets a glimpse of the expanse of your legs and another thin tank top covering your chest like earlier, leaving little for his imagination.
The rosy color comes back to his cheeks when you let go of Eddie as you approach with a smile that seemed to be reserved just for him pretty on your glossed lips.
“Hey Argyle,” breathy and smitten, your own cheeks heat up when the corner of his mouth turns up, lopsided just how you like.
“Hey - wow, you look - wow - yeah you look gorgeful,” stumbling over his words, Jonathan looks exasperated with his best friend already, “I mean gorgeous, err — um beautiful.”
Jonathan raises his eyebrows in a greeting at you before taking a sip from his red solo cup, doing his best to ignore the stuttering mess next to him as he greets Eddie with their dude shake.
Argyle catches Eddie’s passive stare and it only seems to make him more nervous.
“Hey man, you look, you look uhh great too!” stammering a little less, his voice raises a few octaves borderline yelling just like in the living room earlier.
“Careful Argyle, keep smooth talking me like this and I’m gonna think you want me and not my friend here,” Eddie winks with a dimpled grin spread wide across his face before he scopes out the scene of the party. Zeroing in on a home base on the couch in the living room that sat miraculously unoccupied.
“Think I’m gonna post up, you know what they say ‘When in Rome’,” he gestures with his head to the spot to Jonathan, “Wanna join? I got a joint with our name on it.”
“Isn’t Rick gonna get pissed at you for selling at his house?” finally tearing your eyes away from Argyle who’s openly gaping at Eddie, you look up at your best friend.
“Pffft, please. It’s not like he’s not going to see the fruits of my labor, it’s fine, trust me. He’s probably already plastered and passed out on his waterbed anyway,” shrugging off your concern he looks at Jonathan expectantly.
“You good with that buddy?” clapping a hand on his friend's back, Argyle’s brown eyes dart back and forth between you and Eddie, repeating the words “my friend” like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
“Yeah, he’ll protect me from all the creeps won’t you,” grabbing his hand, the heat of his palm is an instant comfort against yours. Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth you look up at him from under your lashes. His cheeks turn the color of cherry blossoms when he finally meets your stare, squeezing your hand gently, he looks back at the two boys finding his nerve.
“Yeah I’ll protect this pretty little princess with my life man,” saluting your best friend, Eddie raises his eyebrows seemingly unimpressed before turning back to Jonathan.
“Ready?” ignoring Argyle’s pledge you snort at Eddie’s casual bitchiness.
“Yeah, let's go. Look, be cool man, don’t take anything anyone here offers you, got it? I’m not taking care of you again like that time you ate the mushrooms you found in the woods,” Jonathan looks a lot like the guy you’d always known talking to his friend like he would his little brother with a finger pointed in Argyle’s face.
“There'll be no mushroom consumption on my watch, Byers,” mocking Argyle’s salute, your antics earn an eye roll from Eddie knowing damn well if the offer was given to both of you, you’d fold.
“Alright! You kiddos, have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Eddie grabs Jonathan by the shoulders aggressive enough to have his beer slosh over the lid and you were almost positive that annoyed scowl would be stuck on his face all night.
Watching them till they both got lost in the crowd of bodies, you and Argyle finally dare to face each other. The air between you thickening now that you were alone, and he was still very much holding your hand.
“Do-“
“How-“
It was like a cheap rom com the way you both went to talk at the same time, cheeks heating up as you both look at the ground, a new shyness taking over. Squeezing his hand you encourage him.
“You first,” soft and sweet, you swear you his pupils dilate from the way you look at him.
Argyle gets the same expression on his face Eddie does when he’s forced to talk to Chrissy when she comes to buy weed for her friends. He was silently hyping himself up. Straightening his shoulders he clears his throat before the smile that made your stomach do flips graces his kissable lips.
“Can I get the pretty lady a beveregino?”
A stumbling drunk someone knocks into you before you have a chance to give an answer. Flying into his chest he lets go of your hand to grab at your hips, helping you regain your balance. The slurred apology falls on deaf ears when you and Argyle lock eyes from this close, chest to chest his fingers dig into you just enough to notice.
“I’m not much of a drinker, more of a stoner. Wanna go by the lake? I stole a joint from Eddie before we left,” grinning with pride at your sticky fingers, his lips twitch up, eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Woman after my own heart, hell yeah! Let's blow this popsicle stand,” turning you around he keeps his hands on your hips, lips coming close to your ear from behind, “Lead the way my weed smoking goddess”
Goosebumps rise, dancing across your skin at the feeling of his warm breath fanning down your neck as you lead him through the crowd. His hands never leave their spot from your hips, their grip tightening as you get closer to the sliding glass door that takes you out to Rick’s backyard.
Stepping onto the wooden deck he finally lets you go, there’s just a few stragglers outside smoking cigarettes too lost in their own conversation to notice the two of you. The air has lost most of its humidity, leaving the night in a post heatwave glow. The stars gleam bright next to the moon in the clear night sky, reflecting off the water it lights your way as you walk hand in hand down to the lake. Stealing glances at him from the corner of your eye the whole way down, you catch him doing the same thing, both of you giggling every time your eyes meet.
Finding a place nestled next to Rick’s boat house, you were far enough from the party for the loud music and constant chattering to seem like a faint noise in the background. The laps of the water hitting the shore take center stage as you curl your legs under your thighs when you sit like the princess he claimed you to be on the plush grass.
His knee brushes yours when he plops down Indian style next to you, his curious eyes follow yours as you look down at your exposed cleavage. Digging into your bra you pull a perfectly rolled joint with a smug smirk on your face, twirling it around in your dainty fingers he can’t help but throw his head back and laugh.
“I thought chicks only did that in movies, that’s some secret spy shit,.” the smile he gives you makes you want to squirm, “Crafty and beautiful.”
Not used to the kind of confidence he was giving you alone like this, you bite your lip to try and hide your smile as you tuck your hair behind your ears.
“Please, Eddie’s just oblivious,” scoffing, your face feels like the hottest part of the day from words that were sweeter than the ice cream cone you had earlier at Benny’s.
“I think it’s a little bit of both,” winking as he leans back, eyes watching you the way every woman dreams of as you search for a lighter.
“I think Eddie still has the lighter,” the cute pout that pulls at your bottom lip has his fingers twitching.
Holding up his index finger he starts digging through his multicolored jogger pockets.
“No need to worry, I’ve got us covered beautiful,” pulling out a bright yellow Surfer Boy Pizza one, he hands it to you with a lazy lopsided grin.
“My hero,” leaning forward as you snatch it, you dare to press a chaste kiss on his cheek as a token of your gratitude.
His eyes go wide enough to see the whites behind them and that perfect kind of smile that pushes against his cheeks is almost brighter than the moon hanging in the sky.
Scooting closer when you flick the lighter, the breeze that washes over the lake has other plans when it keeps snuffing the flame out. After the third failed attempt Argyle scoots closer, shoulders and thighs touching his big hands cover yours as a shield.
“Thank you,” daring to look at him from this close, his eyes meet yours almost instantly, catching the way they flutter down to your lips and how he has to wet his own after.
Tearing your gaze away, you focus on lighting the joint, the flame catching almost instantly with his help. Twirling it around so it burns even, he lets his hands fall at the same time as you. The palm of yours landing on the top of his, your eyes meeting again as you hollow out your cheeks taking the first hit. He just smirks, not moving an inch, the heat of his body is warm against your skin from this close.
The silence is comfortable as the two of you pass the joint back and forth for a while, fingers brushing purposefully with every hand off. Leaning completely against each other with pinkies hooked between you, he’s the one that breaks the silence when you hit the middle of the joint.
“So have you lived here your whole life?” plucking at the grass next to him he looks up at you with soft eyes as you finish filling your lungs.
“Yep, pretty much. My parents lived in Indianapolis till I was three then moved here for a quieter life,” snorting at the cliche of it, you pass him the joint, “What about you? Always been in California?”
“Yeah, it’s just me and my mom. She’s like the best ever though, so, you know I don’t really need anyone else but her,” taking a big hit of the joint so he didn’t have to elaborate further, you changed the subject.
“Would you ever leave? Like, move somewhere else?” it’s your turn to pick at the grass, the nerves of getting to know a boy getting the best of you.
“What? Like here?” smirking at you when he hands you the joint, your cheeks heat up at what he’s implying.
“No! Don’t move to Hawkins, there’s nothing here,” smiling around the end of the joint you take a hit to distract yourself from his playful stare.
“I don’t know, it seems pretty cool to me so far,” you don’t miss the way his pinky squeezes yours after the sentence leaves his mouth, eyes looking at you pointedly daring you to catch on.
“You wouldn’t survive the winters, I’m sure of it,” looking at him from under the hood of your lashes, your teeth tug at your bottom lip barely hiding your smile when you hand him back the joint.
“What about you? Do you wanna move?” his eyes glaze over when he takes his hit starting to reach the end of it, your bodies buzzing with the high and the excitement of a new crush.
“More than anything, Community College is just really cheap out here and I don’t know what I want to do yet, so the plan is to move anywhere that's not here after I figure that out,” sighing at the thought of finally leaving Hawkins you meet his gaze when you feel the chocolate of his eyes on you.
“I’m going to Community College too! And I also don’t know what I’m doing! Look at us two peas in a pod man,” he’s loud with excitement sending you into a fit of giggles and you lean even deeper into his side as he hands you the joint.
“Just need Eddie hurry it up, he finally graduated but he still has to take two summer school classes. We’re supposed to do this college thing together,” he catches the small frustrated pout you try to hide.
It’s quiet for a minute, the elephant in the room coming back as the sound of the water and crickets fill your ears.
“So you and Eddie like never..?” not bold enough to meet your side eye after the question leaves his mouth, you smirk as you take another rip. Exhaling slowly before handing it back to him.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids so naturally, we tried kissing once. It happened the summer before Junior year,” sticking your tongue out like there was a bad taste in your mouth, the memory makes you shudder, “Too weird, we’re too close.”
Argyle just nods trying to keep his poker face as he takes a hit when he hears that Eddie has actually kissed you before, but you catch on quick.
“Besides, despite the metal appearance,” leaning closer like you were about to indulge in a secret you whisper, “He likes cheerleaders.”
Earning a snort from him the smoke of his inhale flows freely out his nose and mouth as he chuckles at your antics.
“And I like pizza delivery boys, especially cute ones from California,” the weed settles enough to make you feel bold and you watch him freeze at your flirty words.
He slowly meets your gaze, bloodshot eyes scanning your face for any trace of humor but he’s only met with the hungry look in yours staring at his lips, and he swears your brows furrow with want when your tongue glides across wetting your bottom lip.
“Yeah?” his voice cracks when he puts out the remainder of the joint into the ground, angling his body more towards yours.
Nodding, you squeeze your hooked pinky with his silently begging him to give you what you want.
Taking your cue, he leans forward close enough for your noses to touch, the hesitation to fully commit has your lips brushing feather light against his. You can taste the last of the joint as you breath each other in, grabbing a fist full of his shirt when you’ve finally had enough, you close the gap with a satisfied hum when they mold instantly with yours.
It feels like the Fourth of July behind your closed lids, still a month away but the fireworks you swear you feel blur your vision when you lose yourself in him. Begging for more when your tongue swipes across his bottom lip, he groans low when he gives you everything you want. Tongues and teeth clash together desperate like years of pining finally come to an end despite it being less than a day, maybe it was the weed or maybe it was him, but it feels like it’s everything you want and more.
The initial intensity dwindles as you start to move lazy and slow against each other. Taking his time, he savors every giggle and gasp he pulls from you. Your hands find their way into his long hair, it’s even softer than you imagined when your fingers run through it. His hat falls off when you give it a gentle tug at the base of his neck.
Working up enough courage to pull you on his lap, he swallows your moan when you feel the bulge in his pants. The lace panties you wore just for him and the thin material of his joggers is the only thing between you and what’s underneath. Your skirt sits bunched up at your hips with his hands and you can’t help it when you rock against him, feeling every inch of him against your clit.
Pulling you down closer, his lips take a break from yours to make their way over your jaw and down the curve of your neck. Nipping and sucking against all the sweet spots that sit nestled just behind your ear. A high pitched whine escapes you when he applies just the right amount of pressure with his teeth, smiling against your skin, his nose nudges against your earlobe, a soft “Yeah?” sending your nerves down your spine.
His hands make their way to your thighs squeezing at the soft fat before his fingertips drag their way across the expanse of them finding their new home at the curve of your ass. Toying with the sides of your underwear you collect his lips again with your fingers holding onto his chin.
Rocking with a little more force when your tongues meet again, his hands grip you harder making you bite his lip in response.
“You- you can touch me,” your voice is quiet when you dare to say the words out loud, his lips stopping abruptly against yours.
“A-are you sure?” his eyes look black even in the moonlight when they meet yours from over the bridge of your nose.
Nodding against him, you encourage his hand as your lips meet his again, pulling your panties to the side he groans loud into your mouth when he’s met with your slick folds coating his fingertips.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe you’re real,” staring up at you, he’s mesmerized at the way you shudder when the pads of his long fingers rub circles on your clit.
Mewling when he lets the tip of his middle finger poke at your entrance, you dig your nails into his broad shoulders when he finally pushes one in, your velvet walls gripping him hard, pulling him deeper. His hips jut up at the sensation only adding to how good it all feels.
“G- god Argyle don’t - don’t stop please,” your demand comes out as a whine when he adds a second finger, curving them slightly brushing that spongy spot inside of you.
“I like that, I like when you say my name like that,” the pad of his thumb meets your bundle of nerves as you start to shamelessly ride his hand, the need to cum taking over all the bashfulness from before.
“Yeah?”
Nodding against the side of your face he nips at your jaw before taking your lips, the strokes of his fingers becoming more deliberate.
He manages to say, “Do it again” between kisses as he curves his fingers once more, getting him exactly what he asked for.
Kisses turn sloppy as you get closer to your release, your hands leave their place on his shoulders to dig at the roots at the nape of his neck, tugging the way that earned you a moan the last time.
He increases the speed of his fingers, the sound of how wet you are is loud enough to be embarrassing but it only makes him twitch inside his pants as he thrusts up, your mouth falling open against his.
“I’m gonna - god - I’m gonna cum,” pulling his hair hard enough it should hurt, he only pushes himself deeper in response, the new intensity sending you over the edge.
“Yeah? Good, come on let me feel it,” his voice is hardly recognizable the moment those words come out of your mouth. Deep and thick with want, it has your thighs shaking as you drench his fingers, face buried in the crook of his neck you let your orgasm wash over you like a storm.
“Jesus, you look like an angel right now,” his voice comes out like a whisper, almost like he’s saying it to himself.
His hips stop their movements as his fingers slow their pace when he feels your body start to calm down, pulling them out despite the fight of your walls they keep fluttering around nothing from the aftershock.
Your gasp is quiet against his skin when you don’t feel so full anymore. You’re too stoned and too tired to open your eyes when you hear the sound of him sucking his fingers clean.
“You’re sweeter than fucking pineapple, I swear,” chuckling at his own revelation your lips tug up into a smirk finally having the strength to meet his gaze.
“You like pineapple?” you had no idea the question would elicit such a strong response until his face lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Do I like pineapple? Do I like -“ Jonathan’s panicked voice rings out over the lake interrupting the out of body experience Argyle was about to have about fruit.
“Come on guys, Rick kicked Eddie out for selling at his party!”
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ares--athena · 1 year ago
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Robin Arellano x Reader
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Pairings: Robin Arellano x f! Reader (hinted to be poc)
Summary: Robin hates school functions and his girlfriend is a huge fan of school functions. How ever will they compromise. *Aged up Freshman year Robin; both Robin and Reader are Freshmen or 14*
"Robin, come on please." "No, I hate going to those stupid dances with people I see Monday through Friday just dresses up." "But you'll be going with me and I'll be dressed up." "You'll be dancing with your friends; you won't even be paying attention to me." "Robin come on I really want to do this with you." "We can hang out any time, go to the dance and have fun with your friends don't let me stop you."
That was the conversation a week ago and Robin still isn't going. "Hey at least we're going with you." My friend Skye was getting ready with me. "Yeah but I really wanted Robin to go with me. I was sitting in front of my mirror finishing straightening my hair. "I don't know why you're straightening your hair; It's beautiful curly." "I guess, but this is a special occasion." "Do you think..." I tuned her out by then, more focused on finishing my hair so we weren't late. I started thinking about Robin and how much I wanted to do this with him. It was our first homecoming together and as freshmen. A hand waved in front of my face pulled me out of my trance. "Hello, earth to weirdo" "huh oh sorry what. " I unplugged my flat iron I was using turning to look at her. "I asked if you were ready it's almost 7." "Oh yeah I'm ready."
Skye and I got there a little after 7 and we were the last of our friends to get there. "About time!" My friend Donnie shouted. "Don't be too excited she's been a downer since her fight with Robin last week." "Well you're here now and we're going to have fun!' Donnie shouted grabbing my hair to pull me into a dance circle. We started jumping and singing with the crowd.
An hour had past since I first got there and me and Donnie needed water. We went out to the hallway to the water fountain. "Hey you said Robin wasn't coming to this right?" "No he isn't." "Then why is he here?" I turned around so fast I may have gotten whiplash. "Surprise" "Robin!" I ran up to hug him. "You look beautiful." Robin said softly kissing my cheek. "You look handsome too love. I thought you weren't coming. What happened?" "Well I know how much this stuff means to you so I decided to at least spend half of it with you." "But you hate this stuff." "And it's important to you, and I'm okay to compromise." "Well I'm glad you'll compromise." I turned to see Donnie had already gone back in. "Does this compromise include dancing with me?" I asked smiling at him. "It does." He grabbed my hand and led me back in the dance.
The dance was slowing down and it was now the last song being played. Robin and I had danced since he got here. From jumping in dance circles to grinding on each other, to now slow dancing. I leaned my head on his shoulder, "I had so much fun with you tonight." "I had fun with you" Robin kept swaying with me. "Do you wanna come over, we can watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" I asked. "Sure, sounds like fun."
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chacusha · 1 year ago
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20 questions for fic writers!
I was tagged by @firebatvillain (over here). (No idea where this meme comes from originally because the chain is broken somewhere.)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
119 on my main account.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
302k. Omg, that's a lot... My sock has about an extra 200k words, so... 500k total.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (28), ASOIAF (20), Bravely Default (14), Trials of Mana (10), Soulcalibur (6), Final Fantasy VI (6). (I don't actively write in ASOIAF anymore, though -- I've tried on multiple occasions and nothing comes out.)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
You've Got Subspace Communication [DS9, Quodo] - I wrote this as a treat for Unsent Letters, an epistolary exchange. Odo and Quark are so perfect for penpals who hate each other IRL but are falling in love online...
[Art] Basket-weaving [Brother Bear, Denahi gen] - Not fic, but it deserves a shout-out because weirdly it seems that a lot of people are familiar with Brother Bear even though the movie flopped/is super underrated and it has no active fandom (fan community) as far as I can tell. As such, the amount of love this art gets always surprises me!
Written Correspondence [DS9, Quodo] - This was actually also written as a treat for Unsent Letters but there were a couple of points where I was worried it hit a DNW so I didn't end up gifting it. But I always imagined Quark would write Odo (unsent) letters post-canon.
Accidental kiss [DS9, Quodo] - One of my first Quodo fics, I wrote this as a treat for the first Quodo Mini-fest, because someone was requesting a cute first meeting and these two deserve so many pre-canon meetcutes, lol.
Dinner Together [DS9, Garashir] - So far my only Garashir fic. Written for Pine 4 Pine (a pining exchange). I'm not sure what I think about this one. I don't really have a good handle of either Bashir, Garak, or their dynamic, to be honest, but it seems people enjoyed it well enough. (It's always a strange experience writing in a fandom that has such a clear juggernaut, which doesn't happen to be my OTP.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, I answer all comments. The only exception is that sometimes when someone has left multiple comments on a multichapter work, I might skip a few. I do try to respond to the last comment someone left on a work, though. Also, occasionally, I lose a comment in my inbox and so don't reply because I never saw it, but it's a mistake/not intentional. I don't get a lot of comments even across all my fic on both of my AO3 accounts, so it's not really hard for me to reply to all of them.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
A Two-Changeling Link [DS9, Laas &/ Odo], maybe? Killing a character who didn't die in canon is a pretty downer ending, especially because I didn't plan on that character dying when I started writing!
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Not sure whether to go for a fic where the ending is happy because the characters go through so much (and so the ending is super cathartic) or if the fic itself is just generally happy. For the first, Snowmelt [Trials of Mana, Angela & Valda]. For the latter, maybe Written Correspondence.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Haven't gotten any on the fic itself. Occasionally I get commenters replying to (arguing with, correcting, etc.) OTHER commenters in a somewhat aggressive manner.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah, but it all goes into a different account. I write all kinds of things. It skews non-con heavy, but I like to write a lot of different flavors.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not generally, but I have written a wild one, Priestesses of Wind [Bravely Default x Soulcalibur, Agnes/Talim]. It's so rare to see someone in exchanges requesting either of these fandoms, so when I saw someone requesting a crossover between them, I jumped on that prompt SO fast.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope. I am just not a big enough deal for that.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, if into emoji counts. XD I can't share it here because it's for a fic on my sock, but feel free to DM me if you want a link.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not full co-writing. I have done some collaborations that get close but not to the point where I would call it co-writing. When I was young, though, I used to co-write original fiction with friends, which mainly consisted of them coming up with the characters and ideas and me typesetting it because I have good SPAG and typing speed.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Quodo just for the sheer intensity of fannish feelings. Mi-na/Yun-seong is probably the OTP I have had for the longest time and which I'm still actively fannish about. Plus, I've had strong enough feelings about it to make a fansite for it, so that should count for something.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have some older ones on my hard drive that I don't think are getting done, all for older fandoms I don't write anymore. Probably the one I regret not finishing the most is an ASOIAF BTVS fusion fic where Sam Tarly is dealing with vampires in Oldtown (because he's the Slayer, get it?). (Of the fic I've posted to AO3, I fully intend to finish them all, and I get pretty obsessive about keeping my promises so I don't think any of those will stay unfinished.)
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm good at writing highly-structured fic and good at writing action scenes, which includes sex scenes. At least I think so. Also, I'm good at SPAG.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I hate describing settings/buildings/objects and I hate worldbuilding and inserting OCs. I think my fic often suffers as a result. Also, I am a very slow writer.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I am so bad at other languages (can't even learn fictional languages to any degree of confidence), so I largely avoid this, and rarely do I feel like my fic would suffer if I cut the foreign language words themselves and replaced them with English translations, because I don't think multilingually and so don't have (e.g.) wordplay that would get lost in translation.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
If fan comics count, probably Sailor Moon. If this means actual fanfic that I uploaded to the internet, it would be Harry Potter.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Every 16 Hours [DS9, Quodo, 58k words] is my masterpiece. I still don't believe I wrote a finished fic this long, and it has a lot of things I like or want to see in fiction.
Tagging (if you haven't done this before; no pressure): @weaver0fwords @tinyron @corpsebrigadier
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jamsandsuch · 8 months ago
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found an old draft of something i wrote in 2020. i'm not much of a creative writer anymore but i think 18 year old me wouldve wanted this out somewhere. wc: 679 words
I twist the ring around my finger, and the gemstone giggles in the afternoon sun.
"Do you wanna talk about him, Win?"
"Mmm." Light trickles through the slat blinds, sunlight like maple syrup and honey poured onto her pancakes. Ground coffee and Bossa Nova. A boxy TV hanging from the corner of the diner hums then crackles and pops with static. Grandma looks at me, waiting for my answer. I don't know what to say. Where do I even start when it comes to you?
I think about the newspaper on your kitchen counter.
"Convenient how they just give out all this gardening material for free, yeah?"
"Pretty sure you're supposed to be reading the newspaper."
You wrinkled your nose. "You read the newspaper? No wonder you're such a downer."
"No idea what you're talking about. I like having fun."
"Oh yeah?" Your fingertips were caked in soil in a way that would've made mom scold me.
"Jesus - wash your hands, country boy."
"Learn to get yours a little dirty, city girl." You wiggled your fingers around my face to spook me as chips of dirt fell from your fingers and onto the wood floor. There was a ghost of a child's checkerboard grin in your smile, like the boy you must've been all those years ago never really went away. I laughed and swatted your hands away but you grabbed me, holding me in a tight hug while I tried to wriggle free. You lips tasted like strawberries. They always tasted like strawberries.
"Just you wait. We'll have a big ol' house with a garden. All that space to run around. Whaddaya think, Winnie?"
I'd like to imagine that we would've planted a strawberry patch in that garden. That whenever I missed you I'd have a whole grove of your kisses growing on bushes.
"You would've loved him."
"Did you know he was sick?"
"He didn't tell me."
You didn't want to. When you called me you apologized. Said you were being so selfish. You asked me to leave. Begged me to hate you. But I couldn't.
"Loving anyone is pretty selfish anyway, isn't it?"
"You're too good to me."
I stomach a mouthful of my pancake and think of how it tasted so much better than the garbage they were feeding you in the ICU. Maple syrup pooled on my tongue, bittersweet as I knew this was the kind of breakfast you deserved to wake up to.
Your skin was the color of caramel and toffee, lightly baked from the hours you spent in the sun, but when I'd come to visit you I'd watch the color slowly leach from your face. it might've been the blue-white hospital lamps, or it could've been your body missing the daylight.
The last time I saw you awake there was a milky film over your eyes. Your gaze was cloudy. I saw heaven in those eyes, and you saw heaven in mine. Tears spilled from my cheeks and into your hands like pearls falling from the gates of heaven. You must've known you were getting closer because you gave me your ring that day.
"He was so much worse than I thought, grandma. He was so much worse."
The night you left, I howled like a wounded wolf through the double paned hospital glass. There must've been some more animal in me than we thought.
"I did it all right, grandma. I don't get it. I did everything right and I'm dying lonely."
"We all do, Winnie."
"Easy for you to say, you had grandpa."
"Had."
"But weren't you happy? Weren't you in love?"
"I didn't say I wasn't." Her face is a sculpture, wrinkles and folds pressed in by the hands of time.
"But this hurts. It hurts so bad."
"We fall in love and we pay the price."
The waitress slides a plate onto the table. Strawberries. I bring them to my lips. I almost expect you to be there. I close my eyes and let you tease me with the false promise of a kiss one last time.
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nikoruistyping · 3 years ago
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Ooh, I see that your requests are open so can you do one for Tony where he has a crush on the female reader, but she tends to turn him down because of his reputation until he decided to prove he really changed by giving you a surprise or smth like that? I hope you enjoy writing it and I love your work!! 🥺
Promotion || Tony Stark
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Tony Stark x Assistant!Fem!reader
Requested by: @smokeywhalee
Summary: It was your birthday today and you were working just like always but after Tony keeps pestering you to go to dinner with him you reluctantly accept but then he surprises you with something more special than just a ‘simple’ dinner...
TW: Fluff, Some Angst, Kissing, Boss & Assistant Banter
Word Count: 2,276
A/N: I had such a fun time writing this one especially since I’ve been wanting to write Tony stuff I just didn't have any ideas in mind for a scenario so thank you and I hope you enjoy it!
Today would be a normal day just like any other day. You hated celebrating your birthday or maybe it was the fact that ever since you were a kid your parents just never threw a big party and only got you one slice of cake rather than a whole entire one. You had always dreamed of a big party filled with all the people you held near and dear while they would roll in a giant cake with a bunch of candles on the top for you to blow out. But your reality wasn't like that at all. You were stuck working on your birthday once again this year and there you were sitting at your desk waiting for Tony to arrive. He was always late, fashionably of course, and he was probably the most wanted man by everyone. The phone would be ringing non-stop all day and it was your job to pick up the phones, write back long-winded emails signing his name at the bottom, and filing lots and lots of paperwork. You had been working at Stark Industries for about a year now and your position was still stuck at being a very underpaid intern. For some odd reason despite only being an intern you got to work directly with Tony which shocked you at first but you guessed that he took some type of liking towards you. Maybe it was your can-do attitude or maybe how organized and clean you made sure everything was for him but regardless you were glad to be almost his right hand in just about everything.
Your eyes darted toward the dinging of the elevator and you quickly scrambled to stand on your feet watching Tony step out of the elevator. He was always impeccable looking, his tie always straight, his suit always perfectly fitted and shoes always shining. Today he sported dark aviator sunglasses and despite being inside he most likely wasn't going to even take them off, probably to hide the hangover from last night.
"Good Morning, Mister Stark. If I may, I have a few things to go over with you." Your tone was strictly professional and almost monotone to a point that Tony stopped in his tracks and pushed his sunglasses slightly down, his eyes peeking from behind the dark lenses.
"Good morning Miss Y/LN. Is that a new blouse?" He asks raising an eyebrow and you could feel his eyes scanning over your body and you weren't sure if you liked it or hated it.
"Mister Stark, I don't think my fashion choices are any of your concern right now. We have other important matters to take care of today." You say trying to be polite as possible because you obviously didn't want to get fired and plus why was he asking about your blouse?! Yes it was new but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of saying it was.
"Look's like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Happy am I right?" He asks for Happy's opinion over his shoulder.
"No comment Tony." That is all Happy had to say and Tony just scoffs at how reserved he was being.
"Jesus I'm officially surrounded by a bunch of Debby downers. You both are zero fun." He points between both you and Happy as he threw his hands up in the air continuing to walk into his office pushing the doors open. Regardless of whether he said yes or no you entered right behind him with your notepad and pen in hand.
"Today on the agenda Mister Stark we have lunch scheduled with Doctor-" Your words cut off as he interrupted you.
"Are you still an intern Miss Y/LN?" His question is way out of left field and taking you by surprise.
"Yes, I am. It's already been a year now."
"Really? Wow, time flies when your having fun am I right?" He says taking a seat at his desk as he lifts his legs up and puts his feet up on the desk, leaning back into his chair nonchalantly.
"Mister Stark, I think the only person having fun here is you."
"Fine then, I'm promoting you to Executive Assistant."
"Wait?! Really?" Your voice showed just the slightest bit of excitement which made Tony smile at you.
"Oh, finally I can actually hear some emotion in your voice for once."
"Mister Stark, thank you so much I don't know what to say-" You were at a loss for words.
"Don't say anything then and join me for dinner tonight. We can celebrate your new promotion." He said flicking off his sunglasses completely as he looked you straight in the eye.
"Mister Stark, I don't really think that's appropriate..." Your voice trailed off as you yet again used the same excuse once more knowing that he had asked you multiple times to dinner but you had always declined because this is Tony Stark we are talking about. It was no secret that the man was obviously playing you and he just wanted to get into your pants, he probably had done this a million other times with all his interns and assistants before you came along.
"You really need to start coming up with a more creative excuse than that Y/N. Just one dinner and then I won't ever bother you again."
"Fine...just one. Now can we please get back on schedule? We have urgent matters at hand, Mister Stark." You say with an annoyed sigh knowing that you were probably going to regret accepting the invitation but you had spent a whole year avoiding his advances you might as well just get it over and done with. There was just no way that he was inviting you because he actually liked you or anything.
"Exactly, so how about I urgently leave those matters with you and I'm gonna get going." He says quickly popping up from his chair and fixing his suit jacket while he started making his way to the door.
"But Mister Stark I-"
"You got this Y/N. Call me Tony, no need to be so formal and uptight all the time," He says with a small smile while he pats your shoulder, pushing up his sunglasses again and leaving the office quickly.
"I'll send Happy to pick you up tonight." He says over his shoulder as he was able to steal one more glance at you before he entered the elevator and the doors closed before you could argue or even protest.
You sigh holding the notepad and pen looking at the long list of things you have to once again cancel or reschedule due to Tony not wanting to attend anything whatsoever. You walked back over to your desk and sat down looking at the emails piling up in the inbox and you sighed deeply. It was going to be another very long day for you...
Hours later...
You found yourself ringing the doorbell of Tony's Malibu house and you really couldn't believe this was happening. Why the heck did Happy bring you back to his house? Was this really his idea of some kind of dinner date? You would have thought that he planned some type of fancy night out trying to wine and dine you just enough that he would whisk you away to some hotel room for a one-night stand but clearly that didn't look like it was going to be the case, not like you wanted that anyways but it was just odd. You rang the doorbell once more, your feet were already starting to ache from having walked in your heels for too long already today. You felt your phone buzz in your purse and you reached for it reading the message.
Mr. Stark: Sorry got my hands tied up in something, just come downstairs to the lab
You read the message and pushed open the front door entering his home and for some reason no matter how many times you had come to his house it always felt like you were intruding on his space, god forbid you touched something and you break it you would have to sell your soul just to afford it or even worse pay Tony back. You looked towards the staircase and went down each step slowly as you used the wall as a way to keep yourself from tripping and falling, the last thing you needed was to break an ankle on his stairs, that would just be embarrassing plus Tony would be completely lost without you if you missed one day of work.
The lab was completely dark as you peered through the glass door. You punched in the code for the door to open it and you were literally walking in blind as you tried your best to feel for something to grab onto so that you wouldn't fall or run into the edge of a lab table.
"Tony...? Are you there?" You questioned as all you could hear back was the echo of your voice bouncing off the walls.
You could see faint candle lights in the distance as you squinted to get a better look but then the lights had flashed back on and the sight you saw made you almost want to cry. Tony was walking towards you, dressed fully in the nicest tuxedo you had seen while holding your favorite type of cake in his hand as he couldn't help but smile at your reaction. Once he had gotten close enough to you your hands had gone up to your mouth to cover how utterly surprised you were that he actually remembered someone other than himself for once. Maybe he really was a changed man in a sense.
"Happy Birthday Y/N. Come on now, blow out the candles before they decide to set off the fire alarm." He said watching you nod your head as you blew out the candles quickly.
"I'm surprised you actually remembered. Did you always know?" You questioned as Tony had put the cake down on a nearby lab table.
"I remembered because it's you, Y/N. I might not look like I'm listening but I was listening to you." He turned around to face you as his steps seemed to come closer and closer to you.
"Thank you, Tony...this is actually the first time anyone has ever bought me a real cake." You say ashamed to admit that the fact that he bought you a whole cake was making you extremely emotional right now.
"Of course, anything for you. I think that you only deserve the best." His hand went up to your face as he brushed away a loose piece of hair that was covering your eye.
"Tony I-I can't do this. I'm not falling for this whole scheme. This might work on all those other girls but it's not going to work on me." You said as you backed away from him, shaking your head in disbelief that maybe just maybe he actually felt something for you.
"This isn't a scheme Y/N. I've changed, I'm not the playboy I used to be. That's all in the past, you're the one who changed all of that. I really like you...and I have eyes only for you now." His voice trailed off as his hand had found yours holding it gently.
"Are you being serious? Tony, I swear to god if you're playing with my emotions I'm going to quit-" You were in total disbelief that "The Tony Stark" actually liked you in that way and you didn't even notice once. You were too busy with work to notice his stolen glances, the faintest of touches, and his caring words between whity banter.
"Simple, don't quit on me." His words were simple and direct, you knew exactly what he meant and he was very serious.
From there you weren't sure who leaned in first or whose head turned to the side but the next thing you knew your lips were on his and his hands cupped your face drawing you closer and deeper into the kiss. Your arms had naturally wrapped themselves around his neck making sure he wouldn't escape how close he was to you as sparks seemed to fly the more his lips moved against yours. You pulled away from the kiss, it was breathtaking, literally, and you looked into his eyes with your teary-eyed ones. His thumbs had wiped away your tears as all you could get out was a whisper just low enough for him to hear.
"I promise I won't quit." You said with a smile as you let a small chuckle out still not believing that this was really happening.
"Good because I would be in shambles if you did, seriously the company stock would go down by 4% if you left." A laugh came from him while his hands seemed to have gone down to your waist and hugged you gently but still close to him but without a doubt, he earned a playful smack on his arm from the joke he had made.
"You still got a way with words, Tony. How about we actually celebrate and eat some of that cake?" You suggest as your eyes wander to the cake on the table and you could see from afar it was your favorite, this man really did pay attention even under those obnoxious sunglasses he wore but he always was listening.
"So are we celebrating your birthday, the fact that this is now a thing or that you won’t be quitting-" He says, his finger pointing in between the two of you.
"How about...all of the above." You say with a sly smile as you grab his hand and lead him over to the table as the both of you were ready to devour some cake and possibly maybe keep arguing about if you really did quit how much the stock would really go down.
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everythingsinred · 3 years ago
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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 26)
Gosh, I'm just so excited for this part.
After months of separation, Natsume has finally found Mikan, thanks to Shiki being a hopeless romantic and not knowing how normal people act.
Speaking of not acting like normal people, these twelve year olds will devote themselves to each other on Christmas, promising eternity and really meaning it.
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four
Shiki lets Natsume find Mikan, who wanted to see him as well, and is standing on the balcony to find him.
The first thing Natsume does is call out for her, maybe because it doesn’t seem real. After so many months of searching and coming up empty, he’s finally found her, probably in a place he’s checked thousands of times. When she calls back down to him, he knows for sure that it’s real. He climbs up to the balcony and in no time he’s reached her. They’re both excited to see and feel each other for the first time in so long. They’re able to hold hands, but they can only reach so far. Shiki can’t allow Natsume to actually break her out of her labyrinth.
The existence of the barrier is kind of a downer for Natsume, who had been looking forward to finding her and saving her all at once. She starts asking lots of questions, but he’s preoccupied, thinking about the thickness of the barrier and how much room he actually has to work with.
Mikan doesn’t stop talking, so he puts his hand on her mouth to shush her. If she’s too loud, they might get caught and then their clandestine reunion would be over and he might not see her again for who knows how long. And then a watchman passes down below, so Natsume is temporarily distracted, intent on not being found out.
When he looks back at her, her eyes are welled up with tears and she’s holding the hand he placed over her mouth with both of hers. He’s surprised, because he never fully processed that she confessed her love to him too. That could’ve been a dream or a fantasy or a projection or wishful thinking or maybe it didn’t mean the same thing to her as it does to him. But she’s so happy to see him that she’s in tears, holding his hand like it’s precious and she doesn’t want him to disappear again.
It’s a confirmation again that his feelings really are requited, that she’s been wanting to see him too. For so long, he’d thought of himself as the last person she’d ever fall in love with. He’d been Team Ruka, because he’d taken himself out of the running. He just wants her to be happy and it really had never occurred to him in all that time that he could be the one to make her happy.
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So he comes to close the distance too, leaning his head against hers. They haven’t seen each other in so long, and no doubt there’s a lot left unsaid, but just a moment of quiet affection, to show each other how much they’ve missed the other, is necessary. She says she’s missed him, and it would be redundant for him to say it back. He’s been searching for her tirelessly night and day for months. To say he missed her would be an understatement.
Now that she has his attention, she can ask her earlier question properly: how did he find her, anyway? He answers that she was calling him. The power of her missing him caused this to happen. There’s no other explanation. He’s only half teasing. He’d never imagined she would care for him romantically, so he wants to milk the situation for all it’s worth. It makes him happy to imagine that she can say over and over and in many different ways how much she misses and loves him.
When Mikan protests, he pouts, because he really thought her calling out to him and the power of their feelings for each other had brought them together. When she concedes that there might be some truth to his theory, he smiles. This is a real smile. He’d never imagined this kind of situation, and it’s all somewhat surreal and dreamlike, and it makes him happy that after all this time he actually can get almost everything he wants. The only thing that could make this better is if he could actually break her out of her prison.
He expresses dismay that he’s helpless to get her out of there. She assures him that it’s enough just seeing him, and then panics because she didn’t prepare a present for him even though he got her a storybook. So she asks if there’s anything he wants for a present that she can give right then and there and Natsume asks for a kiss.
Natsume has up to this point always stolen little moments from Mikan, thinking she’d never value them the way he does. Their last kiss, snuggling on New Year’s, his half hug to her in the RPG… It was all affection he had to steal. But if Mikan really does love him, then maybe he doesn’t need to steal anything anymore. He can ask for her to give it of her own volition, and she would do it because maybe she wants to kiss him too. He’s way more honest than he’s ever been, because he doesn’t have anything holding him back anymore. Not only is he no longer the school’s pawn, but he also doesn’t have to hold back with her either, because his feelings are requited. He can be honest about almost everything.
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He's just being honest for once, Mikan.
What he wants is a kiss, and since she asked, he’ll tell her.
He pretends to fall a little, in the midst of her freaking out. He makes up a bogus story that he’s not secure on the ledge and will fall soon, so if she’s gonna do it she has to do it quickly. This is another instance of Natsume being selfish. This is one of the few things he wants for himself that has nothing to do with protecting other people. He must think she wants to kiss him too, even if she won’t admit it, because he probably wouldn’t ask if he thought she hated the idea.
He must be onto something, because Mikan does lean in to slowly kiss him, even though her face is red and she’s deeply embarrassed. They kiss for a while, not knowing that Shiki can see them. When they finally part, he asks her to do it again. She protests that it would make her heart explode to do it again, so he surrenders.
Fine. They don’t have to kiss again. But then she should tell him that she loves him. Properly. From her own mouth.
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Jeez, he's so needy tonight.
Natsume has confessed two times to her of his own accord and one time on accident when she felt his feelings through telepathy. The only time she did the same was also through telepathy. She should be fully aware of his feelings for her, but he needs to hear it properly. The one time she’d confessed, they were about to be separated forever and it was a heart-wrenching moment for them both. On top of that, he’d never imagined such a thing and needs further confirmation that she really meant it.
When Mikan protests again that she already gave him what he wanted and that he hadn’t really said it properly either, he promises to say it after she does.
Natsume needs confirmation before he can say it right. Almost the entire time that he’s been in love with her, he’s been perpetually giving up. She should give her stone to Ruka, dance with Ruka, be with Ruka, because she obviously prefers him anyway. Natsume’s been particularly selfless about this, and it was easy because he thought she would never love him back. He wasn’t about to genuinely pursue her or obviously pine after her (though it ended up being kind of obvious anyway) because he could never win her over anyway. All the other reasons not to be with her--putting her in danger, not being able to offer her a future--are harder to focus on when she’s actually saying she does love him too. But they still matter, and he won’t confess and give in and finally put all his chips in for the idea of being a couple until she says it properly. Until he knows for sure she feels the same, it’s not worth it to risk everything else.
And she does say it.
Out loud. Properly. With her own mouth.
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Natsume's smile can cure illnesses... Just... Not his own, of course.
So Natsume smiles another real genuine smile. Those were words he’d never imagined he’d actually hear from her. Despite all his efforts to distance himself, to make himself into the bad guy to protect her, to be cold and cruel, she still ended up seeing past all of it and loving him anyway.
He’s so excited and happy that he leans in again and wastes no time before confessing right back. This is a promise he can keep: he loves her too.
From now until forever, more than anyone else.
He’s twelve years old but he means it.
The adults at the academy didn’t take his feelings seriously enough. They thought that threats and violence were more powerful than his foolish puppy love. But nothing really is. He gave everything up for her, and will give up even more. He can’t promise forever but he will love her for that long anyway. For the rest of his life and for every second after his death.
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five
They’re kissing again. When they break apart, they’re both happy.
This whole rendezvous seems dream-like and surreal. She has her hair down and they’re both wearing outfits they don’t usually wear. It’s snowing and they’re both standing on the balcony. It would be easy to claim that it all is just a dream, like it’s happening only in the depths of Natsume’s most self-indulgent fantasies. It shouldn’t be possible, is only happening because of Shiki’s whims. It stands out to the reader too, because of all of these elements, and doesn’t blend into the reality of every other chapter or arc. That’s actually effective in making it dream-like for us too. Is this all really happening? Is this just a strong wish that took shape? Is it a dream?
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I really don't have anything to say except that this is a really vulnerable question and it's amazing that Natsume has the courage to ask it now.
In any case, Natsume swears he will save Mikan from the tower she’s trapped in, like the prince he’s supposed to be. “Can you wait for me?” he asks, and it’s the reverse of all of Mikan’s earlier questions. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?” she had asked, because she wanted him around. And then later, when it seemed she’d disappear forever with Yuka, there was the unspoken question if he could wait it out, survive long enough to see her again. Now he’s asking her if she can wait for him too, if she can have faith that he won’t abandon her.
This is again almost literally a dream come true. Mikan is saying she loves him back. His feelings are requited. What he wants is to hold onto this with all his might. He will save her and they will be together. She just has to wait long enough for him to get her out. He wants her feelings to last that long, even if he’s not around.
And she smiles and agrees, promising that she will wait as long as it takes, until they can be together properly forever. But she has a caveat: she doesn’t want him to push himself to get her out. She wants him to live, but if he does “whatever it takes” he might die. In fact, there’s a certainty in his demise, and every coming chapter makes that more and more clear. They’re still star-crossed, more than ever actually. They’re not just paralleling Rapunzel here: they are also Romeo and Juliet, confessing their love on a balcony under the light of the moon and promising a forever that is not to be.
He hugs her, but there’s something about his expression and lack of proper response that is off-putting. He doesn’t promise not to push himself. He can’t. He’s made lots of promises that he will break, but he made them because he wanted them to be true. He cannot make this one. Mikan’s safety is more important to him than even their joined happiness. He will do anything for her, and he won’t promise that he won’t.
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Just don't die. Why is that so hard for you, Natsume?
Changing the subject, there is now a flicker from under Mikan’s coat, coming from what she reveals to be yet another alice stone on her necklace. She reveals that she made it. He’s impressed with the size, because the one she gave him less than a year ago was a mere pebble.
Natsume is disappointed to only be one of the many inspirations for Mikan’s stone, and it might be more evidence to him that she may love him but he loves her more. He doesn’t voice this insecurity, but we can see it, and it might be even more a reason why he can’t promise not to push himself. She could probably get over him. She could survive without him. He can’t live without her. Thus, his existence can be traded in for her freedom, her happiness, her safety, and it would scar but heal. He loves her more, he thinks. She’s more important. He can and will die for her.
She calls the stone her heart, a result of all the love and care she has for everyone in her life, and entrusts said heart with Natsume. She wants him to have it, a more fitting version of the stone she gave him before. She then rejoices that the alice stone exchange is complete, so they’ll be happy together forever.
Natsume looks shocked again, and I’ll repeat myself by saying that he’s still not used to the idea that she feels so romantically about him as well. She is in love with him and wants to be with him forever, so much so that she wants to do over the alice stone exchange properly with a stone she’s proud of.
He calls her out for proposing to him, which embarrasses her but she admits she did have that intention. But he tells her that he applied the romantic intent first when he gave her his alice stone. Here he’s confessing that his romantic feelings are nothing new. He’s loved her since then, at least, and she’s been a dream of his all along.
If she’s handing over her stone--her heart--to him, then she’s fully reciprocating. She’s not just into him. If she wants her future to be entwined with his, for them to get married and live together forever, than this is no passing fancy for her. Thus, she is now his. He asserts that because he has to hear it. She only wants to be with him, right? Then she is his girl, nobody else’s. He doesn’t tell her that he’s hers because he considers it redundant. He’s hers. He’s been hers since she tackled him in that warehouse so long ago. He will be hers forever. This is the first time he’s considered that she would be his too.
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I thought I should pay attention to the word "hate", but I should've focused on "remember". Yikes!
He presses the stone to his lips, ultimately showing her how precious her heart is to him, and tells her that he won’t ever give the stone back, even if she comes to hate him. There’s a lot to unpack in just this one declaration, but let’s get into it.
When I first read this, I thought it was foreshadowing of another kind. I was distraught, actually, because I thought maybe Mikan would come to hate him! That’s silly though. Mikan cannot hate Natsume. Not ever again. It’s not possible. Mikan saw the very worst of Natsume and still fell in love with him. That is true, unconditional love. She sees the beauty in him, sees a future with him, even when he wanted to only show her the darkness. But Natsume doesn’t get that her love is unconditional. He says, “even if you come to hate me”, like it’s even a possibility, but says “I will never give this stone back,” because hating her is not a possibility. Yet again, he’s underestimating her love for him. He loves her more.
In his mind, it’s possible that she could stop loving him. She could turn that affection into disdain. She could completely hate him. But he won’t. Not ever. Even if she hated him, he would love her. Even if she wanted her stone back, he wouldn’t give it to her. Even if she gets over him, he will never give up on her. He will be with her and hold onto that stone forever.
But perhaps he’s saying, “even if you come to hate me” like it is an impossibility. Maybe he realizes that she will never despise him again. Maybe he gets that. In that case, then he’s promising that nothing in the realm of plausible or implausible will cause him to let go of her heart. Because it’s not just a stone! She’s told him herself that it’s her heart, so this isn’t just a declaration of endless loyalty, love, and fidelity, it’s also a promise that he will protect her heart, because it is precious to him.
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They're twelve years old. I'd giggle if I didn't take them so seriously. I have no right to laugh... This is part 26 of a very long essay about them. I suck.
Whatever he means exactly, Mikan is touched. She starts stammering, trying to say something but obviously too embarrassed to say it properly. When she finally finds the words, asking if this is all a proposal, he answers. Yes.
The moon is their witness.
Nobody else is there to see this (as they have no idea that Shiki is the one who arranged this and has been observing them all along), and after this ends there will be little evidence that this moment between them passed at all. It’s all so surreal, so unrealistic. But the moon bore witness, and they can rely on that for the rest of their lives.
Because, especially for Natsume, this night is something out of a fantasy, and he’ll need all the evidence he can get to hold onto it as reality.
But the moment doesn’t last forever, because Shiki has to end it at some point. The barrier is reinstated and Natsume falls.
He calls out to her but it’s to no avail. She can’t do anything to hold onto him, and he can’t hold on to her. The only way to make this happen again is to save her.
Shiki and the MSP discuss what he just did, and how Natsume and Mikan probably won’t ever meet again. And for all that fate is concerned, it’s true. They’re not meant to be.
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I kinda want to cry now.
Natsume lies in the snow afterward, looking at the moon and gripping Mikan’s heart, holding onto the only proof he has that the moment truly occurred. Otherwise, he could easily be convinced it was just another daydream. It came and went so quickly, he needs the evidence, the witness. Natsume is newly engaged to be married, though when exactly that marriage was supposed to happen is anyone’s guess.
It’s not the world’s shortest engagement for sure, but it sadly won’t last.
They are fated for sure, to meet and fall in love. But he’s fated to die and their love was doomed from the start.
He won’t make it another week.
Conclusion
They're engaged now, their feelings intense. My feelings on their fate has evolved over the past couple parts. I now fully believe that they are soulmates, fated to love each other. I also believe that they were supposed to end in tragedy, that fate didn't want them to last. I'll probably talk way more about that in Mikan's part, but it's made me an even bigger fan of NatsuMikan, if that was even possible.
I have written the entire Natsume POV essay. It's all done. The end is a bit lacking, but that's not my fault. Still, I'm excited to wrap this up. I'll post updates four days a week as usual. I reckon there'll be less than two weeks worth of essay left before I've finished posting. I've talked about this a bit before, but I'm going to take a pretty lengthy break between this essay and Mikan's, because it was a huge project and it really exhausted me. I loved doing it, don't get me wrong, but I do need a break before I can do Mikan's, especially because I think hers will be much longer (I might be wrong about that, but it's the feeling I get). I probably won't touch Mikan's essays 'til January or February. In the meantime, I'll be working on fics again, so if you're interested in that, you're in luck!
Thank you for reading, folks. I hope you have a great day!
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ramp-it-up · 4 years ago
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Fresh Squeeze, Ch. 5
Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC Linden Marshall
Set in 2023, post-pandemic
Warnings: Cursing, Angsty Angst, drug and alcohol use, surprise flights, Anthony Ramos. Lots of Plot.
Word Count: 3.5 K
Plot: Linden Marshall just finished law school at Columbia University in NYC. Daveed Diggs is still creating magic with his platonic life partner Rafael Casal in the form of their Blindspotting musical, Bay Boys. Linden’s boyfriend WAS Mark Monaco, star of the superhero movie series Invincible.  They were together for years, and her trauma and his addictions were toxic. She knows now that wasn’t love. 
A/N: Keep in mind that this the same AU as Arrivals, with Holly Woods, but is BEFORE Rafa and Holly get together. And don’t come for me about Anthony.
Read the Previous Chapter.
===================
NYC, May 2023
Jasmine was blowing up your phone as you were trying to get dressed.  You had to search for it under the pile of clothes on your bed.
You had procrastinated getting ready, trying to finish one of your applications for a summer internship at this law firm in Harlem that you were excited about.  
You wanted to finally relax after finishing Columbia law in the top 10% of your class. You just wanted to relax and enjoy this weekend.
Craig, your mom and your uncle were the only ones to attend your graduation.  They knew you didn’t want any fanfare, so your famous friends didn’t attend, and they had a show to do, but they’d sent you tons of well wishes.
We're coming up, get decent!
You chuckled and shook your head. Anthony usually raided the refrigerator when he came over. This time, you told him to bring his own snacks..
You slipped on what you were wearing for the night.  Craig was in his room getting ready and you had volunteered his place, so you were playing hostess. You were surprised that he was so chill about it, actually. 
“Pika Pika,” you said to yourself in the mirror then ran to answer the doorbell. It was almost 6 pm.
You opened the door for Cookie Monster and Big Bird.  You burst out laughing. But you stopped when you saw Anthony's face. He had like five bags from Whole Foods that he was juggling in his blue arms.
"Jazzy!!!! There's my girl.  Hey Ant! leave the food and your girl. We may run off together."
Anthony came in the door loaded down with bags and kissed you on the cheek.  
“I love you Lindy, but fuck you man.” You punched him on the shoulder. 
“Ow! Time to get this party started!”
Linden heard Jazzy’s Brooklyn accent turn into a London lilt as she started play fighting with Ant. They felt like family at this point.
=================
Ever since the launch party in January, Jasmine had pursued you as a friend persistently. You normally didn’t let anyone in because of the circumstances of your life, but Jas was oblivious to your awkwardness with normal human beings.
“Girl, you are fucking DOPE, and you are NOT gonna deny my love.  I know your life has been a trip, and you don’t have to tell me all of it, but I’m not gonna let you shrivel up and be a little retiring wallflower. Life is to be lived.” 
Jasmine telling you that during a Saturday brunch date in February was the key to your heart. She drew you out, and you didn’t see what value you added to her life.
But she loved you anyway. And you loved her, and of course, Anthony was part of the package.  
He was beautiful, loud, talented, and reckless, but he reminded you too fucking much of Dell to be annoyed with him very long.
Your circle had certainly widened from just Craig. That was one thing for which you could thank Mark. You were working on him being a distant memory.  He hadn’t lasted too long in Bay Boys, quitting soon after the musical opened in March.  
Daveed’s hands and feet had ‘slipped’ one too many times during the scene when he was stomping his ass on stage. Mark cited health reasons, and publicly spiraled a bit. He was currently in rehab. 
Again. 
You had not heard from him and that was absolutely fine with you.
Because Jasmine was in Bay Boys and that was her life, the cast and crew became yours as well. Rafael was the type of chaotic creative genius that fascinated you; you could listen to him talk for hours.  
Things with Daveed were more tricky. Ever since that awkwardness with him after the launch party, you’d kept your distance, but you hung out a lot, so you were trying to be friends.
When you and Jas and Ant and Rafa hung out and talked, Daveed was there, smiling shyly and sneaking glances at you, throwing in pearls of wisdom every so often. 
He was so dope and so talented and intelligent and so freaking hot, but you were trying to get yourself together.  You were convinced that night in January had been a mistake. 
You needed some space. And time.  Law school was no joke, and you were in therapy so entanglements was not what was up.
Daveed sensed your hesitancy and decided to stop pursuing you. But he couldn’t stop how he felt.
You were both a little wasted and keyed up the night of the launch party, and despite the way you were beautiful and intelligent and sexy as fucking hell, he was not going to press you. 
Daveed was sure that you two could be something special if you would give it a chance, but he didn’t want to chase you, but he was so gone for you, that if you just nodded your head at him, he would be at your feet.
The attraction was undeniable. There was a crazy little dance you two did that everyone recognized and respected.  This group seemed to know you were fragile, and that you didn’t need to be pushed too far.
But the more they persisted, the more you came out of your shell.  The more you trusted, the more the old Lindy came back. 
Craig noticed first soon after you started hanging with the crew when you were trying to find a place to live. He went to one showing with you and sat you down for a talk.
“Girl, I love the light in your eyes.  I haven’t seen this Lindy since…well in a long time. Stay with me for as long as you want. I know you need to get through this last semester of school, you don’t need one more thing to think about. I’m proud of the work that you’re doing on yourself, Linden.”
You were grateful to Craig.  His place on the Upper West Side was super convenient to Columbia, and not having to think about finding a place was so clutch.  Third year was kicking your ass.
“Besides, I wouldn’t have this place if it wasn’t for…”
“Hush,  I don’t want to hear that.  Dell would have wanted this. I love you cuzzo.” 
=================
Craig came out in a Sully onesie and immediately dragged Jasmine into a conversation about the Met Gala that had happened a few days ago. 
You approached the kitchen where Ant stood, food all around him on the counter. You were whispering. He smiled a secret smile at you.
“I’m so proud of you doing this for Jasmine.  It’s good for you all to get away. I’m glad that she got a little break. She deserves it all.”
Anthony had arranged for this little get together to be a surprise for Jasmine. This was going to be a kickback weekend.
The show was on a four day hiatus while the set was moved to a bigger theatre.  It was a hit and was destined for a long run.
Ant’s green eyes lit up as you kept talking about Jasmine.
“Yeah, she does. And the woman of the hour deserves all the happiness in the world.” He lifted his beer to you.
They way he said that was weird and you were about to ask him what was up with that when the doorbell started ringing, you went to answer it and were stuck there for a few minutes as people started coming in. 
The food and the drinks were flowing while all kinds of characters came in. 
Now they also had Jack Skellingtom, and a Care Bear in the house to add to Big bird, Cookie Monster, Pikachu and Sully. It was an odd cast of characters who were jamming to 90's rap, eating chicken wings and basically tripping like only friends could do.
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Then there was Toni, some tag-along chick who showed up with Rafa.  She had on a plain gray onesie.  What a downer.  
You’d  pegged her for  a star fucker who only hung with Rafa because of who he and his friends were.  The girl was too much in everyone's business. 
"Sooooo. You and Mark ARE broken up for real for real. The tabloids say y’all are back together!  I told my friend Susie you weren’t, but she wouldn't believe me."
You  just smiled and didn't confirm or deny, treating Toni like the paparazzi. The girl was oblivious to your hate and just kept talking.
Daveed rescued you. 
"Hey, Toni, show these folks how you can blow. They're setting up the karaoke machine over there. Show us what you're working with. Someone might hook you up with a gig."
Toni perked up and hurried over to Anthony and Craig, who were setting up the lyrics on the big screen to match the karaoke music. Some Bad Boy joints were up.
Rafa was behind them screaming, "Dylan, Dylan, Dylan!" 
They were a scene.  You  breathed and relaxed a little.
"Don't stress. She's not coming with us  to the island."
You looked up at the tall, fine Grumpy Care Bear who was nursing some of your special 18-year-old Chivas Regal that you had gotten for graduation. His beautiful smile shined out of his brown face and beneath the curls tumbling out of his hood. 
“I’m not pressed. I’m chilling. You can do what you want. With who you want.”
“She’s not with me. Rafa brought her for the ride to the airport. And it’s not entirely true that I can do what I want. With who I want. Because what if who I want to do doesn’t want to do me?”
You knew what he meant. But you eyed his drink instead of looking at him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want him. That was far from the truth. You didn’t want to get lost in him. And you could see that happening.
Daveed saw your wheels turning. You were over analyzing again.  He’d spent three months observing you every chance he got. He felt like he knew your anxieties.  So fucking smart, but here you were thinking too much.
"Hey Genuis Ass. Want some?" Daveed’s voice was softer as he grinned and offered you some of his drink.  “Or, I could go make you something?” For some reason he wanted you to get loose. 
"Nah, I'm good Diggs.”  For some reason you needed to stay in control.  You played it off by changing the subject. 
“I still can’t believe y’all call me that.” 
Daveed just smiled and nodded, chuckling a little. He craned his neck and looked at it, having to dodge a smack upside the head.
“That ass is genius, you know. That’s the one thing He Who Shall Not Be Named was right about. And you’re one of the smartest humans I know.”  
You had to look at him then. The flecks of gold in his eyes tho.  But you could tell from the slight redness that he was a little zooted.  He didn’t get that way around you a lot, but you knew for the stories that he partied occasionally. 
He and Rafa and that Toni chick must have pre-gamed.  You remembered the last time you two were  tipsy together.You cleared your throat and looked away.
“Why did you lie to that girl? She can’t sing.” You were shaking your head, scowling at Toni’s screeching from the karaoke machine.
He winked at you. D was well on his way to getting LIT.
"What? She can blow.”  Daveed sipped his drink and watched her. 
“She’ll suck your soul out and spit it back in your mouth." Daveed was loose. And so was his mouth. But he didn’t care.
Your mouth was hanging open at Daveed as you wondered what Daveed had done with Toni, what Daveed AND Rafa had done with Toni... 
Shit, you were just going to ask.
"How do you know that she..."
"AWWWW SHEEEIIIITTT! THAT'S MY JAM! REMEMBER THIS LINDY??"
“No, I was like, negative 5..”
You raised your voice as he traveled away from you, smiling. He was not slick.
“Well you missed out being tardy to the party…” 
He was backing toward the mic, knocking it out of Anthony’s hand and starting the rap. Rafa joined him, trading verses.
Now as the record spins around, you recognize this sound,
Well, it's the underground,
You know that we're down with wutchyalike
Yeah, with wutchyalike, yeah
And though we're usually on the serious tip, check it out:
Tonight we're gonna flip and trip and let it all hang out tonight,
We're gonna say what we like.
'Cause, yo, yo, we want to know how many people in the flow,
Would like to just let yourselves go
And doowutchyalike,
Yeah, well tonight's your night.
Just eat food, try not to be crude or rude,
Kill the attitude, chill the serious mood,
And doowutchyalike,
Yeah, and doowutchyalike,
Everybody doowutchyalike
Everyone was dancing and Daveed had effectively deflected your question. But you would never forget.
By 8 o’clock, Craig grabbed the mic and motioned for Jasmine to come with him. You had enjoyed some cocktails finally, and just figured they were going to duet Wind Beneath My Wings just like they always did. 
You were actually moving to the music and feeling good.
"Ok guys, whew.  I'm hot.  Is it hot in herrrre?" Craig was fanning himself.
“Whoooo! Nelly!”
You yelled and everyone laughed.
Craig took his hood off and started to unzip his onesie. Jasmine did the same.
You kept dancing nervously, not realizing it, looking around at the others who were also disrobing. You did a double take as D’s abs came into view.  What was going on?
Craig continued.
"Lindy, I just need a minute to talk, can you stop whatever it is you're doing?"  He grinned at you from across the room. "You're still moving Lindy."
You blushed and stopped fidgeting.
"Ummm, Craig, what the..."
One by one people dropped their onesies, all except Toni, who had no clue what was going on. Soon, everyone was standing in Craig’s condo in their swimsuits, looking fine as hell. 
You just looked around, then in your cup wondering if you were too drunk and hallucinating.
“Lindy, you’ve worked real hard, and this past few months have been crazy, so we wanted to do something special for you this weekend, for your graduation, and for your birthday, WHICH IS SUNDAY!!”
Everyone cheered as Jasmine took the mic. “You think this party is for me. Well the joke’s on you bitch, because you have been hosting your own party!”
You opened your mouth, squeaked a little, then spoke,
"But why?.. Everybody?  But what..."
Daveed moved close.
"Damn, you fine," you whispered. 
Your hand flew to your mouth when he smirked in response. Everyone was rolling because turns out, you didn’t whisper.
Daveed cleared his throat. "Thank you. You’re fine yaseif. Anyway, Anthony and Jasmine have a house there, and we’re flying out of JFK tonight.  In about two and a half hours in fact. So we gotta get going.”
You still had only a part of a clue of what was going on. But you couldn't resist all of this.
"Okay? But... I don't have any clothes. And I don’t have a ticket..."
Craig came from the storage room off the kitchen with one of your suitcases. Others started getting their bags as well
"Everybody's shit has been in my house for a week. And girl, you know I got your information. It ain’t nothing but a thang.  Your ticket is ready and waiting. Just sent it to your email.”
Your mouth dropped open and you stared at Craig as everyone pulled their onesies back up and got their bags together.
Your eyes filled with tears that you hurriedly brushed away. Craig came over and hugged you. Then every else joined in for a group hug.
"You deserve, Lindy. Let us celebrate you."
You looked like you didn't quite believe it, but you went along. You laughed, visibly deciding to go with the flow.
"I'm down!"
Toni was nearby. When the hug broke up, she started asking questions.  Your  patience was wearing thin.
"I don’t believe that all these people really roll like this. Y’all wild. Susie won that bet."
You just continued to look at this fool.
"But isn’t this dope?  All these famous, successful men being so fearless with their love and appreciation for Black women, of all people. Who woulda thunk they didn't want white women?"
Toni just kept saying the wrong thing. It was the "of all people" for you.
You stared daggers at your houseguest. Toni caught the look.
"Wait, are you mixed?"
You narrowed your eyes and said, "Black mixed with Black."
Toni clutched her pearls.
"Oh wow. Didn't mean to offend. I just mean everyone knows Jasmine is mixed, with her dad and all, as black as can be. But her white British mom saved her from his skin tone. I mean, she has braids in now, so you can see it, but all she has to do is blow her hair straight and she can pass..."
Toni jumped when Rafa spoke. She didn't know he was there.
"Toni. Not Jas. She's the homie." 
The look in his ice blue eyes could burn. 
"And you are a Black woman, so you know how dope they are. Why would anyone NOT worship at your feet?"
Lindy just sipped her drink as Craig entered the chat. "Amen!"
"Maybe it is time for you to get going, honey. I might call you when I get back."
Rafa  led Toni to the door as she protested.
"But I was going to take you to the air..."
"And I APPRECIATE you Black woman, but we'll get there.  See you later."
Then Rafa shut the door in her face. Linden discovered she loved him eternally at that moment. She was rolling.
No one mourned Toni’s departure as arrangements were made for cars to take everyone to the airport.
"You and Daveed can ride with us, Rafa." Ant to the rescue.
"Yeah, Jasmine loves to look at my profile." Jas pinched him so hard he jumped.
“Fuck!”
Ant  was screaming as he, Jasmine and Rafa went out the door. 
"Peace! See you at airport security.  If you get nabbed by TSA, you on your own!”
Daveed lingered. “I don’t know if all of us and our bags will fit in one car. Can I ride with you and Lindy, Craig?”
Craig smirked at Daveed, but didn’t say anything. “Of course...you good with that Lindy?”
You tried to keep it light. 
“Sure.. no biggie,” you cleared your throat and headed to the bathroom to make sure you had everything you needed.
=================
By the time you got to your Uber, the traffic was horrible. It took over an hour to get to the airport. You felt both anxious about missing the flight and keyed up about sitting next to Daveed in the car.
His thigh and side pressing into yours in the dark in the back of an Uber Black brought back memories of that reckless night. 
When he put his arm up on the seat behind you, “For more room,” he said, in that voice and flashing that megawatt smile, you were enveloped more into his scent and warmth. You had to control yourself not to melt into him.
Craig was sitting on his phone, sneaking glances at you and smirking the entire ride. He’d insisted that you be in the middle because you were so tiny.
The whole world was against you, you thought, as you and Daveed both stared straight ahead, both flashing back to that January night.
You were the last three people to run through the airline gate just at they were about to close it. All your friends in first class cheered when you took their seats, and Rafa popped a bottle of champagne.
"Talk about cutting it close," Ant commented as Rafa gave Daveed a high five.
Daveed looked at you. You shook your head at him. Somehow, you were sitting next to him. You just decided to let it be and have some time.
“Just make sure you don’t molest me under this blanket, Ms. Marshall,” Daveed intoned when you were settled and given amenities for the night.
The flight attendant had to tell y’all to keep quiet as the cat calls went up.
Welp, you thought. This will be the vibe the entire weekend. 
You weren’t mad at it. You loved these people. And you were safe. You just smiled, settled down, and looked out of the window to watch the lights of New York fade away.
=================
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queerchoicesblog · 4 years ago
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A Few Words On Pride Month 2020
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So, pride month has come at last. No matter how crazy it sounds right now as we're experiencing first-hand one of those events that will end up in history handbooks one day.
I'll be honest, it's quite difficult for me to talk about it now when everything that is not Mrs Rhona releted seems so well less relevant than it was before. But I want to share a few words that most likely nobody will read but I'll let them flow anyway.
I watch that video every single year during pride month. It's from a series I liked quite a lot back then, it's called Sense8. The character speaking is a trans woman, an lgbtq+ hacktivist, reminiscing her disastrous relationship with her transphobic mother yet finding strength in her own sorrow. There is a passage I love:
Today I'm marching to remember that I'm not just a me
But I'm also a we
And we march with pride
These words resonate with me: they summarise perfectly the deep empathy and acceptance that I feel should make us stick together. Both inside the lgbtqa+ community and as human beings: "I am a human being, and thus nothing human is alien to me". I'm quoting by heart a Latin playwright named Terentius (Terence in English, I guess?) so forgive me if I got something wrong but what I mean is...we should all care about each other because no matter our differences, our sexuality or color of skin or class, we are human. We are brothers and sisters: I'm an only child but I believe that the definition of a healthy family is one where people overcome differences that don't truly matter in the end, they don't define us as worthy or unworthy of love and respect which should always be given to another human being.
Unless there are valid reasons not to.
As the latest happenings in the world have shown, a hard truth we all know has been reinforced: we live in a cruel, unfair world where, as Nomi said, "hating isn't a sin on that list and neither is shame". A world where people get hurt or killed for reasons which can be hardly called a motive for violence: not being white, not being rich enough, being different, holding a hand or kissing a person of the same sex in the street.
We may comfort ourselves saying these fears were past fears, last century or even Victorian age fears but no, they're still out there. And we can't turn a blind eye.
The current pandemic added new ones, making our lives even more miserable. Speaking of the lgbtqa+ community, I think I can say the social distancing is hitting even harder. Does anybody feel lonelier now? I rise my hand, I do. I'm not referring to the fact that pride parades are cancelled (because we all know there is a freaking valid reason atm), but getting in touch with other people is way harder now. In my personal experience, getting in touch with fellow lgbtqa+ folks was rare even before the pandemic, now it's hella tough. In the street we hide our faces behind masks and don't have the same careless attitude we used to display. Shaking hands and even the lightest touch or proximity are not allowed under the new restrictions: a few weeks ago, over here a couple was charged for hugging each other in the street. How sad and dystopic are these times we live in...
Virtual meetings can help but they're not like in person meetings: the warmth of personal interaction is simply not there. We try but it's not there. Couples are separeted by lockdown rules and so are some families. Lgbtqa+ hotlines are a saving grace and I cannot stress enough how important they are and how anyone struggling with their mental health or literally anything concerning themselves, their gender and sexuality should feel free to contact those volunteers who are a blessing restoring a little faith in humanity.
My thoughts are for those of us who got stuck quarantining with homophobic/biphobic/transphobic etc parents or roommates, and those stuck in abusive contexts. Yes, even relationships because - I know I'll be super unpopular saying this but we can't lie especially to the minor or vulnerable ones- lgbtqa+ relationships can be abusive and toxic too. As I said, we're human and I am sick and tired of the honeyed sunshine rhetoric of lgbtqa+ people and love as an ever right and righteous safe haven. It is a safe haven for us to some extent but we must acknowledge there are problematic issues in our community. We have to be honest with each other especially for the sake not only of each other but for the vulnerable ones and the young. Like criticising or reporting abusers, predators, rapists and so on don't make us all filthy creatures who will burn on a stake for our abominable sins. It just makes us responsible and looking out for each other.
We spend so long dreaming of finding someone of the same sex to be with that when someone shows us any sign of affection our feelings for them grow fast, even when red flags or abuse enter our lives. We stay because we're hungry for love and crave what straighties seem to get so easily: love, acceptance, reciprocity. To the young and everyone who needs to hear this I wanna say: it doesn't have to be like that. Don't ever settle for cheap love only because you feel you will lose your only chance to be loved. There are good people out there too and you deserve one of them at your side. You will find them, your paths will cross: just be patient and never ever forget the importance of respect and consent.
To all those experiencing anything like the relationships or toxicity I mentioned, who feel silenced by the sunshine rhetoric, I say: you are not alone, stay strong and you did nothing wrong, others did and I'm sorry you're going through this cause you don't deserve it.
I share a similar shutout to those struggling with mental and/or physical disorders. If you ever felt pretty much invisible, you're not. I see you, many others see you and we're all rooting for you. You're stronger than you think and you're beautiful.
The not-as-unfortunate-as-the abovementioned but still quite forlorn are the star crossed lovers meeting that special someone in a bad time. Quarantine will see the blossoming of some romances but also takes no prisoners, blowing off others. They don't vanish though, in most cases they turn into those impossible loves and what if we love so much in the movies and hate in real life. I wish I could lay a blanket or pull into a tight hug all those going through this. Your pain is not irrelevant even if there are worst things in the world right now, our souls hurt for things like that. I hold your shaking hand wherever you are as you stare blankly at your phone, waiting for a message or a call that will never come, or you reminisce, listening to a romantic playlist you still have saved on your device. Your suffering is my suffering.
On a brighter side, cause I don't wanna be a complete downer, the luckiest ones among us are blessed with love and I can't be any happier for you, whoever you are. I can picture the one day a few years from now when I will be talking to someone and they will share their story saying how they met the love of their life during the pandemic. How it wasn't easy at first because of all the uncertainty and fears but they kept trying and it all started with a social distancing date at a park or via Zoom. You lucky ones, cherish that and never take what you have for granted: the love you feel and that special someone is showing you is a balsam in hard times. Please cherish it dearly and never stop loving: one day you'll warm these old bones and lonely heart if we ever get the chance to cross path.
Actually I don't have any more wisdom to share, granted what I wrote can be called wisdom, nor giveaway. I considered doing a lgbtqa+ one in honor of the pride month but I feel nobody would be interested. Or at least not by me and I fully agree: writing is getting hard and I feel like I risk of ruining everything I dedicate myself to, as I usually do in my life. I'll follow the tips of a few anons (I think?) and devote this month to educate myself over aspects, nuances or realities I am not fully familiar with: so I'll watch Pose and Sex Education. Hopefully I'll learn something new that might make me a better human being.
Feel free to share further advice: books, articles, movies, series, documentaries...you name it! Drop a message or an ask and I'll make what I'm starting now a lasting project!
That is my advice: if you're stuck inside with nothing much to do this month, find something that might enrich you, even a little thing, and go for it.
As well as reminding yourself the usual stuff: you are not wrong nor unlovable, you're not offensive or dirty for being attracted to your same sex or both or none. Not to quote Lady Gaga, but it's truly is that simple: you are born and beautiful this way.
Stay safe and stay strong, my darlings 🏳️‍🌈
Love,
E.
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