#and I don’t want to have that conversation with my parents

[charliepiperw]

I wanna do it too 01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah kind of 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? Idk can’t remember, probably my sister

03: Do you regret anything?

everything.

04: Are you insecure? Who isn’t

05: What is your relationship status?

sibling? Idk to who?

06: How do you want to die? Idk but I wanna at least have some control over it

07: What did you last eat? icy pole

08: Played any sports?

roller skating (that’s not a sport alone but whatever)

09: Do you bite your nails? chronically

10: When was your last physical fight?

idk 2 years ago

11: Do you like someone?

no

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? always

14: Do you miss someone?

always

15: Have any pets?

3 cats

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

idk the same as forever 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? no

18: Are you scared of spiders?

depends

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I haven’t

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Get ready for my birthday

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I don’t know but if yes like 1 or 2 idk or care

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

one on either ear on my ear lobe

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art and French (je suis fantastique)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes

26: What are you craving right now?

death. Idk, sleep?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I’d hope not

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

maybe? I can’t tell

30: What’s irritating you right now?

my backs itchy

31: Does somebody love you?

maybe

32: What is your favourite color?

grey blue (like #92a1aa)

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

my friends, myself.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

…I don’t know.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

3 strikes and you’re out.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

both are easy. 38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no, and it won’t be

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

11 (I still don’t know if I count it though)

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no

51: Favourite food?

pizza

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

sure I guess?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

watch arcane with my friend @ljmalone

54: Is cheating ever okay?

On a partner? No. On a test? If it’s not important.

55: Are you mean?

yes.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

0, unless it’s play fighting, then like 5+

57: Do you believe in true love? Yes/no

58: Favourite weather?

rain

59: Do you like the snow?

haven’t been in it, but yeah.

60: Do you wanna get married?

not really, that might change.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I hate pet names with a passion. 62: What makes you happy?

blogging/sleeping/drinking anything

63: Would you change your name? Yeah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

probably

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

happened before, just ignored it.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my friend and also my dad.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

no idea.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

No

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

myself, my friends (some of them, otherwise, no)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[mxymii]

ERROR

pairing | android!jjk x humanfem!reader

warning | 18+, smut, possessive/obsessive behavior, p in v, naive reader, dom!jjk, sub!reader, unprotected sex, etc.

summary | when your android bot hates having people steal your attention from him…

a/n | hello guysss!!! so glad that you all loved my previous posts! i appreciate so much and now with this one i have decided to steer away from squid games a bit and get into k-pop starting with the man himself, jungkook. i hope you all enjoy and pls feel free to leave any feedback ! (i have the warnings up for you all to read, i am not your parent and will not tell you what you should or should not read :))

hard eyes stared back at you as you tried to continue your conversation with a fellow friend of yours. having a bot in your house was something you didn’t think was going to bring you so much trouble, but there he stood with a hard glare at the man besides you.

you could tell that your friend was getting uncomfortable with the stares jungkook was giving him, which had you stand up and drag him to a more secure spot. “jungkook stop it. why are you staring at him like that?” you told him softly, being careful to not let your guest hear your conversation.

“get him out before i do it myself.” he said harshly as his eyes glowed blue, a sign of anger coursing through his wires.

“jungkook i can’t just kick him out, we are simply just catching up. i would prefer if you will excuse yourself for a minute, go charge up or something…” you tell him as your hands slide down from your face, frustration building up. this wasn’t something knew. he always acted out whenever someone was either too close or invaded your house, he hated having people over.

his hand quickly grips your face, his finger firm enough to apply pressure but not too harsh to harm your face. “do it y/n, i’m not asking you again.” seeing this new side of jungkook scared you, he had become more possessive over you but you just brushed it off as him being protective. that’s what the manual had said.

he quickly pushes you back into the room where your guest stood, you didn’t want it to end like this but you quickly apologize and ask them to leave, letting them know you would catch up later on. as you try to say your goodbyes, jungkook is quick to shut the door close and lock it, his dark eyes meeting yours.

“you don’t listen, do you?”

“kook..what are you talking about?” you try to talk to him with his sweet nickname that he loved but it didn’t work at all. although he was a android, his humanly features were very prominent. if you had seen him in the street you wouldn’t even know he was a android.

“i don’t want people coming here anymore. it’s only going to be me and you, that’s it.” he said firmly as he made his way towards you slowly.

“you can’t make that decision, it’s my house jungkook, plus you’re my bot and you do as i say…” your breath hitches up as his hand grips your throat tightly. “well baby..the rules have changed.”

your eyes widen at the fact his demeanor changed overtime, jungkook was never like this but being so naive and trying to justify his actions you failed to realize how crazy he has gone. “what? can’t talk now?” he states as his lips graze the side of your face, his finger marks being visible by how firmed he had gripped it earlier.

“no one is allowed near you..you stay here with me y/n.” he leaves open-mouthed kisses on your neck, sucking and teething to leave marks all over your skin. “jungkook…” you whine as you try to push your head away, although your mind tells you this is wrong your body betrays you, asking for more.

“i bet he wasn’t able to have you like this huh?” he locks his gaze with you for a minute before smashing his lips onto yours, nibbling and sucking on your bottom lip to give him access to his tongue. “kook…”

he picks you up just to drop you on the couch, his hand fumbling with your pants as he quickly takes your garments off as well. his knee meets with your cunt as he has you grinding on him. “you’re mine to kiss, to love on, to look at…” he says against your ear as his grips your waist, helping you grind on him faster. “fuck jungkook..”

“if i see anyone in here other than myself, ill kill them y/n. is that what you want?” he trails his hand down to your clit, massaging your clit in circles. the way he was talking to you was just making you turned on even more. your head pushed back against the cushion as you feel his finger plunge into you at a fast pace, not even letting you adjust for a bit. “fuck!”

“look at you…so fucking wet for me..” he whispers softly as he leaves wet kiss against your body, trailing down towards your wet pussy. his tongue darts down to your clit, as he sucks on it harshly, his finger picking up the pace even more. the room is filled with screams of pleasure and wet noises coming of your pussy but you could care less, the amount of pleasure he was giving you was all new to you.

“fuck jungkook! please don’t stop!” you screamed as your fingers gripped his hair tightly, your legs furiously shaking as you were close to your high. “gonna cum baby?” he says softly against your clit for a second as he continues back to sucking your clit and pussy lips clean.

“ngh jungkook!” you screamed as your body shook from the intense orgasm he had given you, he quickly sucks your cum up but lasting a bit longer which as your legs shaking a bit from the overstimulation.

he quickly takes his pants off, his cock hard and oozing out with precum. he bumps his cock at the sight of your tired body from the orgasm you just had but that only stimulates him more, he wasn’t done you just yet. he tease his tip against your entrance. soft grunts and groans leave past his lips. “no one can fuck you except for me baby..you’re mine.” with that he thrusts into you, hard.

leaving no room for adjustment, he is quick to set a pace, his hands digging onto your skin knowing that’ll leave a mark the next day but you couldn’t even protest as your eyes rolled back and your mouth was left agape.

“so fucking tight baby..” he moaned as he tilted his head back, sweat trickled down from his forehead. he could easily cum right there by how your walls clenched onto his cock but he held himself back, wanting to have you cum before him.

“fuck! jungkook!” your nails clawed against back, your head tilted back and your hair sticking onto your forehead. he grunts at your moans and the way his name left your lips, his guided his hand back onto your clit as he touches it vehemently. his other hand quickly grabs onto your legs as he lifts it up high, the new position giving him more access to feel deeper into you. he didn’t think he could hold back any longer as his grunts turned into loud moans, chanting praise against your ears.

“cum with me baby..” he moans softly as the both of you shook and came unraveling. “shit! fuck y/n..” he moan softly, his thrust slowing down as his cum filled you up full.

“this’ll teach you something now.”

a/n | helppp that was it !!!! hope you all enjoyed!!!

mxymii out!

[nerissamaes]

My parent's memory sits outside my own.

At holidays I make innocuous comments- Things about the past, Truths from the scars I bear, Always forgetting scars to me look like badges of good parenting to them.

I forget often. They reconsider their memory, Adjust and re-pin their badges falteringly, Which never fails to reprimand me.

My shattered expectations of honest conversation are not-so-phantom pains To match the flashes of abuse that drip from the tears their re-pinnings have to cause Interspersed with I don’t remember thats.

I don’t remember thats are cover-ups: Bandages over their own badges, An unfaithful reconciliation of their own parents I don’t remember thats.

Remembering my grandma’s flinching demeanor around my opa makes me wonder: How many layers of bandages, Crusty, flaking, barely sticking, and oozing Are those that my parents are applying?

I think I have the answer. When I give my dad a piece of his own medicine: Slam his hands out of my face, Force him to see my scars for what they are: He cries.

He doesn’t cry for me. He cries for himself. He cries for the dog his dad killed in front of him. For every single punch he took for his brother. For a sister who anorexia almost took by his mother’s hand. For every little thing that oozes through his I don’t remember thats that I don’t remember, And for those he bears alone.

He cries that I can’t be abused, That he was abused, He cries for the injustice of badges his parents can’t see as scars. The scars spell out he wants to be better And he cries for the scar he’s just added himself.

I cry too, not for my I don’t remember thats, But for all the things I remember, For all the scars he and my mother left. I cry for him.

I cry for the man zealous at the altar of being better, Misunderstanding the tenants of his own religion Misunderstanding that bandages are insular: That bandages don’t heal. Bandages hide.

I cry for the man who wounded his “daughter” so deeply at this altar The scars will never really go away, no matter how much they want them to. I cry for a man who is an awful father But by all accounts was better And will never get the daughter that he wanted to be better for.

My parent's memory is slowly getting closer to mine. With my dad's admission Each adjustment to their pins is shakier And the bandages fall away a little more; The sunlight gradually gains more and fades with time.

I want desperately to be the daughter he wants to get better for. But the only way to do that is to meld their pins to my person- To accept these bandages as my second skin. I don’t remember thats can’t help them get better, Can’t help us get better, And I know that - they’ve shown me that.

So with every holiday, with every question, Some innocuous and asked by chance, Some placed with purposeful severity, I painfully force the bandages to deteriorate.

I will never be the daughter my father wanted, Not for him and not for myself. I believe that he can be the better he wanted to be, That my mom can be the better she wanted to be- I hope my parents can be the good parents they wanted to be, Even though I’m too old for it to matter for me. This is the scar I bear for myself. This is the scar that I cry for the most.

when the objectively bad person has traumatic and honestly reasonable reasons for why theyre like that but it doesnt excuse their actions and only serves to make them more tragic as a character

[official-wales]

My parents having been doing Welsh on Duolingo so they’ll understand me better. I really appreciate it and it’s awesome, but…

The ‘ti’/‘chi’ issue. I don’t know how many times I’ve explained the diffference but they can’t seem to grasp that ‘chi’ is plural and/or formal. I didn’t realise it would be so devastating to hear a loving parent end a phone call with ‘Caru chi’ and feeling like they’ve just referred to you as a stranger.

They’ve heard me say ‘Caru ti’ enough that they’ve adjusted it and know that i have an issue when they use ‘chi’. But they seem to think its northern or a mistake on the Duolingo course despite the fact I’ve told them otherwise (so they still get confused or call out my ‘bad’ grammar or ‘hyprocrisy’ when I say ‘Caru chi’ to refer to both of them, despite all my explanations)

It’s the ‘sut dych chi’s driving me mad now. I am not plural. I’m so single that I turned out aro/ace.

Maybe I should pretend we’re northern and introduce them to ‘chdi’… or would that make it worse?

Anyway there’s no question here I just wanted to rant about Duolingo’s Welsh course. Not that’s it’s fully awful, it’s lead to some… interesting Welsh language fanfiction on ao3

(Also congratulations to my mam. She’s English and well past the ideal age for learning a new language but she can almost hold conversations with me from Duolingo alone, and whenever she hears a phrase she thinks she could say in Welsh on TV she’ll repeat it to me and go ‘is that right?’)

This post is for your parents, in which I give full permission as Official-Wales for you to show them:

You've heard of the French tu and vous....

You've heard of the Italian tu and lei....

You've heard of all the Spanish ones that I do not understand yet, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish....

Now get ready for the Welsh you......

Ti is singular and informal.

I'm talking to my good friend Dafydd. He is just one man. He is okay with this. I say "Sut wyt ti, Dafydd?" He does not respond, because I just made him up.

Chi is p l u r a l and formal.

I'm talking to my bosses. There are many of them, and I want to show them respect so that I can continue earning minimum wage. I say "Sut ydych chi, pawb?" They do not respond, because they do not care about employee welfare. When I return home, I ask my many cats "Sut ydych chi, pawb?" They do not respond, because they are cats and cannot speak Welsh.

This has been your Welsh pronoun lesson for today.

[soobchwe]

pleasant conversations ᯓ 𝚕𝚌

ʚɞ pairing: lee (dino) chan x fem!reader || ʚɞ word count: 0.2k || ʚɞ genre: fluff || ʚɞ tags: (newly) established relationship au, "meet the parents" kinda date, chan is adorable albiet a bit insecure || ʚɞ synopsis: "I think my family really liked you. Maybe more than they like me." || ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: For my darling @hursheys!

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ WANT A DRABBLE DIARY ENTRY? REQUEST ONE.ᐟ

Chan is grateful your great conversational skills make up for his terrible ones. Being the youngest in his friend group and family, someone else always had something more engaging, more important, to say. Why bother trying?

But then you came into the picture, and while you can work the room, you always love hearing what Chan thinks and the way his mind works.

Even at dinner, you push Chan to talk about his newest projects at work with his parents when there’s gaps between them asking what you do for a living and what you see in their son.

He’s not used to commanding the table, but it’s easy when he has support to do so.

On the walk back up to your apartment, Chan makes it known how well meeting his family for the first time went. “I think my family really liked you. Maybe more than they like me.”

You smack him in the arm, your mouth going agape. “Don’t say that! They love you.”

He shrugs and holds onto your hand tighter. “I know, it’s just hard to imagine they actually care about anything I say.”

You stop him in front of your door and kiss him hard on the mouth, holding him close to you as you move together. He starts rigid but eventually gives in. “If nobody in the world cared what you had to say, then they’ll have to file a missing persons report on me.”

Chan laughs and pokes your cheek. “You’re ridiculous.”

You wink and go to unlock your door. “But you love it.”

And Chan thinks that maybe, after tonight, he really does.

@yvnempire @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @hursheys

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @lapydiaries @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

[clappingandcheering]

(Percy Jackson x reader)

Shiny like the ocean

Warnings: None! Super cute story about you and Percy wanting to be parents and then becoming parents. Lmk if you want another part with the baby making, but I'm like a fresh writer, so I didn't want that to be my first impression!

"You know," Percy began, his voice casual but with that unmistakable gleam in his eyes. "I've been thinking."

You glanced up from the book you were reading, raising an eyebrow. "Oh? This should be good," you teased, half-smiling, knowing full well that when Percy Jackson got that look, you were in for something unexpected.

Percy's grin widened, clearly pleased with your response. "What do you think about having a kid?"

Your heart skipped a beat, and you suddenly found your fingers twirling absentmindedly around the edge of the book. "A kid?" you echoed, trying to sound nonchalant, but the truth was, you weren't sure how to respond. You'd always imagined this kind of conversation would come up eventually—but now that it had, it felt like your words were stuck somewhere deep inside.

Percy, sensing your hesitation, leant forward on the couch, his voice softening. "I know we’ve talked about it before, but... I just really think we’d be great parents." He was already smiling that goofy, hopeful grin, the one you couldn’t resist even if you tried. "We’d make an awesome team, you know?"

You could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks as you looked anywhere but at him. The idea of having a child, a little one to take care of, to love... It was terrifying and exciting all at once. You weren’t sure if you were ready for that kind of responsibility, but Percy was always so sure about things, and it made you want to believe it too.

“I mean, I guess we could..." you mumbled, your voice small and shy. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

Percy raised an eyebrow, teasing. “What, you scared of a little diaper duty?”

You snorted despite yourself. “You’d be the one doing all the work, huh?”

“Maybe,” he said with a wink. “But honestly, I think we could do it. And if we mess up, we’ll just blame it on the gods.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Always the Greek way.”

Percy laughed, and before you could think of a more serious response, he leant over and kissed you on the cheek. “No pressure. Just something to think about.”

But as he pulled away, there was a sincerity in his eyes that made your heart swell. You weren’t quite sure what to think yet, but when it came to Percy Jackson, sometimes the best things in life came when you least expected them.

Three years later...

You woke to the soft sound of giggles echoing down the hallway. A small hand tugged at your arm, pulling you out of your sleepy haze.

"Mum! Dad’s making pancakes again!" the little voice squealed.

You blinked, your mind struggling to fully wake up, but when you opened your eyes, you saw the tiny form of your son standing at the foot of your bed, his curly hair sticking out in all directions like a cute little mess. He was wearing his favourite Captain America pyjama shirt, the one Percy had picked out for him because it "matched his heroic spirit." The little boy grinned at you, his eyes wide and full of excitement.

"Did you sleep okay, buddy?" You asked, sitting up, your heart warming at the sight of him.

"Yeah!" he said, bouncing on his heels. "Dad said we’re having chocolate chips in the pancakes today. And we’re going to the park afterwards! Can we go, Mum? Can we?"

You smiled sleepily, brushing your hair out of your face. The house was quiet except for the soft noises of Percy in the kitchen and the sound of laughter spilling out from there.

“Give me a second, okay?” You said, ruffling your son’s messy curls. "I’ll be right down."

As your son hurried off to the kitchen, you let yourself take a moment. You could hear Percy’s voice, light and cheerful, as he worked at the stove. The warmth of the moment settled over you—this was your family now. The little boy who had come into your life and changed everything, who was both a reminder of the love you and Percy shared and a miracle of your own making.

You felt a soft tug in your chest. It was hard to remember what life was like before him, before you’d taken that leap, before you and Percy had gone from shy, unsure newlyweds to confident, exhausted—but incredibly happy—parents.

Downstairs, Percy was flipping pancakes with the same easy confidence he'd had all those years ago. The three of you—together, imperfectly perfect—sounded like a family now.

As you made your way into the kitchen, your son immediately ran over to you, his arms wide. “Mum! Look!” He showed you his tiny pile of pancakes, adorned with a mountain of chocolate chips.

“You made all of that?” You asked, pretending to be impressed, though you knew who had done the bulk of the work.

Percy chuckled, tossing his flour-covered spatula into the sink. “Teamwork,” he said, winking at you. “He’s getting good at this.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your two favourite people, your hearts full. "I think he’s going to give you a run for your money in the kitchen soon."

“Good,” Percy said, scooping your son up and tossing him into the air, earning a burst of delighted laughter. "We’ll need all the help we can get."

And just like that, your heart melted. This little family of yours—it wasn’t perfect, but it was everything you’d ever wanted.

[lillaydee]

Matchmade Part 13

Millionaire! Joel Miller / Reader

Having experienced traumatic, life altering events, a freshly divorced Joel worked to repay his debt to the person he owed his life to.

@peelieblue @feenoire @vickie5446 @liciafonseca @drewharrisonwriter

WARNINGS:

Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Character Death, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 12

---

“Come on, come on…” you grumbled. The stupid tin can refused to start. And of course, today, of all days, it decided to make the worst rattling sound it had ever made.

You’d been in the driveway for five whole minutes, trying, and failing, to start your car to move out – to let Joel live his life without you burdening him. You were resolute. But as your formerly reliable car became more and more stubborn and simply refused to start, you were starting to falter.

Was this a sign that you shouldn’t leave? Did you want to leave? No, you really didn’t. But you heard him. He said what he said. You had never depended on anyone since your parents passed away, not if you could help it. So, you could do that now, too.

But this fucking tin can was not cooperating. Come on, start!!!

A knock on your door prompted a squeal and a jump out of you.

A bed headed Joel was bent over by your car, looking at you through the window, an amused smile on his face.

Busted.

You opened the door. He leaned on the roof of your car, eyes on you, before taking a deep breath and sitting down on his driveway, barefoot, turning your legs out towards him.

“You were going to leave without telling me?”

You looked at your own feet, nodding slightly.

“Why?”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough to do it if you were watching me do it.”

“So, you don’t really want to leave?”

You shook your head.

“Then why do it?”

You shrugged. “For the reasons I told you about.”

“I told you; I’m not confused. I’m being serious. I want you here, I need you here.”

You kept your head down, refusing to look at him. You knew for a fact your resolve would disappear if you looked at him.

“Why all this sudden worry that I’m confused? Was this because of what Tanya said?”

You shook your head.

“Then? What is it?”

“I heard you talking to Tommy, about you making a promise to Allie.” Tears began to pool in your eyes, the hurt you felt when you heard it, but had refused to admit beginning to surface. You fell for him, and to hear he was just obligated to Allie cut you like a knife.

He laughed softly. “This was when we got back from visiting Tanya?”

You nodded.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

You shrugged.

He got up and held out his hand for you. “Come on, I need to show you something.”

You took his hand and followed him back inside. He made you sit on the couch and went into his room to get something. He came back out with his iPad, clicked on a few things and gave it to you.

It was the recording from the front door camera in his living room. You could only see the front door, but you could hear him and Tommy talk. And you heard the rest of the conversation, the one you missed after you decided you’d heard enough.

Your face turned red. Did he almost say…?

You stopped the recording and placed the iPad on the coffee table. He sat next to you, trying hard not to smile.

“I promised Allie I would look for you, and make sure you were okay. That was it. I’ll be honest, I considered that done when I saw you were working, you were functioning. You were okay, and if you had gotten into trouble or something, I would’ve helped you. That’s why I gave you my card. I intended to keep an eye on you. That was all. But then, Sarah wouldn’t stop talking about you. And I just… found myself wanting to spend more time with you. And after that conference, I just didn’t want to say goodbye. Trust me, if I was just fulfilling a promise, I wouldn’t have asked you to move in here. I would’ve just asked Tess to handle things or something, as snobbish as that may have sounded. But with you, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to have an excuse to see you more than at drop-offs and pick-ups.”

You found yourself getting hotter and hotter at his confession.

“And then, I heard you talking to Jimmy, and I thought, shit, what if you had a boyfriend? And I found myself so jealous, so sad at that thought, I mean, my ex was actively cheating on me, and I didn’t feel anything. You know I caught her in bed and didn’t even react? I just recorded her for the lawyers. And there I was, jealous of a guy I’ve never met on the off chance that he was your boyfriend. The thought of you bringing him home made me want to scream.”

He looked at his hands, as if embarrassed to acknowledge this.

“I actually didn’t think I could be more smitten by you, but then, you cooked for us. I was done. On my knees right there and then. Don’t you know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? You play dirty, lady.”

You laughed out loud, hiding your face in his chest. He pulled your face up, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“So, yes, I intended to keep an eye on you to fulfil a promise. But I fell for you. You caught me off guard, and now I can’t stop thinking about you. Please stay.”

You smiled, suddenly feeling stupid at your dramatic self-doubts and insecurities. You nodded. He gave you such a dazzling smile you felt yourself swoon. You tilted you head to kiss him, missing the feel of his lips and breath on you since Tanya was arrested.

Of course this was exactly the time your tummy wanted the world to know you were hungry.

He laughed a little and gave you a quick peck on the lips. Come on, he said, I’ll make you breakfast.

He pulled you up with him and perched you on a stool. You gave him an ‘are you sure you wanna cook’ look, and he laughed, saying hey, he’s not that bad. He toasted some bread and began to make scrambled eggs. You took some berries from the fridge and began snacking on them, feeding some to him as he made the eggs for you.

Your realized then that no man had ever made you breakfast before. And the sight of him in his sweatpants making eggs for you just made you… feel things. So you went to him, and wrapped your arms around his waist, shoving your face into his neck and gave him small kisses there, thanking him over and over, your hands wandering underneath his shirt to caress his stomach.

You felt his body stiffen. His hands, busy scrambling the eggs a few seconds ago had gone completely still, his breathing changed, strained, and he whispered your name in a warning tone. You ignored him, and began blowing on his ears, your hand travelling lower and lower…

Without warning, he suddenly turned and lifted you onto the kitchen island, his lips on yours, his body slotted between your legs. His hands went under your shirt, roaming your back before unhooking your bra. “Oops,” he said. “That came off.” You laughed into his mouth and pulled back, your hands disappearing into your shirt and came back out with the bra in your hand. He kissed you again, his hand getting naughtier, his thumb swiping your nipples, earning him a moan from you at the sensation. He lifted you up from the kitchen island with a growl, his hand quickly turning the stove off and carried you to his room.

He got on top of you, kissing you breathless, before nipping and biting your earlobes, your jaw, you neck, you collarbone, and settling on your nipples over your shirt, leaving you squirming like an octopus on dry land.

“Joel,” you moaned. “Please don’t tease me.”

He lifted your shirt, staring at your chest appreciatively, and took one pert nipple into his warm mouth, his tongue swirling around it, sucking on it, teasing it to the point that you were a quivering mess under him. When he thought he had tortured you long enough, he let that nipple go, only to repeat the excursion to the other one.

You had to pull his shirt off to get him to stop, although that may have been the hardest thing you had ever done. You went on to take your own shirt off after, and he resumed his attack on your breasts, licking and kissing, biting and nibbling, causing your movements to stall, and you ended up moaning his name with your shirt stuck on your head.

He stopped long enough to help you out of it, kissing the living daylights out of you as soon as your head was free, before leaving your lips again to travel lower and lower until he was faced with your jeans, his eyes looking at you for permission. You nodded, a desperate ‘please’ escaping your mouth. He hooked his fingers into the waistband and pulled the jeans and your panties off at one go, his eyes looking dark and feral at the sight presented to him, and he ducked his head down, his mouth immediately latching on you.

Your head emptied. No thoughts came to you. Your body was convulsing from his tongue, his fingers, his eyes locked on yours before closing as if your pussy was the best meal he had ever had, and you have seen him eat a lot of meals. Your throat ceased to work, no sounds came out of you, just heavy, stuttered breaths that sometimes gave in to draw more oxygen into your lungs, but never enough. Your hands clutched his sheets, your head and upper body practically levitating off the bed, your eyes closed so tight you were seeing dots of white. He dug deeper, a moan falling from his mouth, prompting your own to escape, his broad tongue circling, swiping, licking, his fingers caressing, prodding, scissoring, until your convulsions stopped, your body stiff, a long, silent cry escaped from your mouth, your ears ringing, your fingers fisting the sheets, tears flowing from the corners of your eyes, falling onto his pillow.

You were numb. Your body won’t stop shivering. He cooed at you, kissing his way back up to your lips, hands caressing your sides as you come down from your high. You could feel how hard he was, his erection pressing on your thigh under his sweatpants. You shoved his pants down, and he quickly got rid of them, as you pushed him onto his back.

Fuck me. He was so hard it had to hurt. And… there was no way in hell that was going to fit into you. You might as well be a virgin again, it had been so long and no one, no one had ever been this… gifted. It was as if he could read your mind. He reached into his nightstand and produced a foil packet, tearing it with his teeth before giving the rubber to you. You put it on him, watching his breath stutter just from you putting it on, before you stared at his dick as if it was going to eat you alive.

“Okay, we have a problem. That is not going to fit. And I’ve just realized I haven’t had sex in so long I have no idea how I can go about this without hurting myself, or you for that matter.”

He laughed and pulled you back down to him before rolling you back. “It’s okay,” he murmured between kisses, “I’ll go slow. And we have time. We can relearn – get used to each other, learn what we like and don’t like, okay?”

You nodded, and he kissed you again, before asking you if you were ready. You pulled him down for another kiss as an answer. He didn’t stop kissing you, as he slowly breached your entrance.

Oh.

He pulled back a little, and pushed back in, a little further.

Oh…

Again.

Oh, my.

One more time. Longer, deeper.

Oh, my God.

He stilled. Kissing you all over your face, your neck, his hands tightly around you, holding you above the bed a little, bodies joined together, your legs wrapped around his legs, your own arms clutching onto his back.

And then he moved.

Oh.

Long, slow strokes, his lips all over you.

Oh, my.

More long strokes, nice and slow, whispers of how beautiful you were in your ears.

Oh, my God.

Deeper, faster strokes, reaching places you didn’t know exist. Whispers that turned desperate, telling you how good you felt.

Oh fuck.

He hit something. Something you were sure was not there before today.

Fuck, oh fuck.

Come on, baby, come on.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

All you felt was him. He’s all over you. Around you, above you, underneath you, inside you.

Oh my God, oh my God.

His strokes got faster, his clutch on you tighter, his breathing in your ears heavier.

Oh, oh, oh my God, oh my God, fuck, fuck, fuck, Joel, Joel, Joel…

He kept hitting that something. Something that now swelled up, more and more as he kept stroking it, harder and faster.

Joel, Joel, oh my God, fuck Joel, oh fuck, Joel, Joel, Joel!!! JOEL!!!

Your body tensed, you could feel yourself lock him in place, shaking, shivering, convulsing, he had to hold you so tightly to stop you from pushing him out.

There you go, there’s my girl, oh God, Addie… baby…

Three more strokes and he was gone, his body weight on you, stiffening, grunting, whimpering, calling your name over and over again, until he stilled and collapsed on you, your arms still clutching each other, your breaths mingled, your sweaty bodies slick against each other, neither of you speaking, until you both fell into a sweet slumber, still joined in blissed stupor.

**********

Joel woke up first, it hadn’t even been an hour since the two of you fell asleep. He gave you soft kisses, making you squirm a little in his arms before falling back asleep. He extracted himself from the bed carefully, his content, happy smile never leaving his face as he cleaned himself up a bit and put his sweatpants back on and went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

He took a glass, filled it with cold water and drank it all in one go.

“Hey old man.”

Joel almost dropped the glass in shock. He turned around. Allie was perched up on the kitchen counter, a serious look on her face.

“Allie, hey kiddo.”

Her serious look didn’t go away. Her arms steadfastly crossed over her chest.

“So, I asked you to look for my sister and make sure she’s alright, and you sleep with her?”

Joel’s insides went cold. “Look, kiddo, I didn’t…”

She laughed out loud. “I’m just fucking with you, old man.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Language,” he chastised.

“Oh, chill old man, I’m dead. My ledger is closed.”

Joel huffed a laugh. He sat next to her, who was now swinging her legs happily.

“How is she?”

“She’s okay, I think. She’s hanging in there. She misses you, kiddo.”

“I miss her too.”

“Allie, I realized I’ve never thanked you directly…”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on,” she said. “I had to save you. I had ulterior motives.”

Joel laughed softly, “Still, thank you anyway.”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “All in a day,” she said, before her face got all serious again, this time with a little yearning on it.

“Hey old man, will you take care of her for me? It was the one thing I really wanted to do. And I couldn’t. You know, before our parents died, she was all set to be someone. She would’ve aced her college programmes, bright future, all that, you know? And after… she just gave it all up for me. And I just couldn’t keep my big mouth shut and died on her. After everything she sacrificed for me.”

She held her head down, looking so forlorn, it sliced his heart into pieces.

“Hey, it’s not your fault, kiddo. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t get yourself killed, Tanya did. Don’t blame yourself for this, okay?”

She just looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“You’ll take care of her?”

“For as long as I live, I swear,” he said.

“Thanks old man, I appreciate it.”

“Joel?”

He looked behind him to find you walking towards the kitchen. He hopped off the island, realizing that Allie was no longer there, and walked towards you, his brown eyes near black at the sight of you, wearing nothing but his shirt. He gathered you in his arms, kissing the top of your head, before finding your lips again.

“Who were you talking to?”

“Had a visitor. From beyond.”

Your eyes widened, pulling back from him a bit. “Allie was here?”

He nodded. “Had to make another promise to her, one that I intend to keep,” he said, smiling so widely his dimple showed. And he bent down once more and kept kissing you, pulling his shirt off you, before carrying you back to bed.

After, you found that having cold toast and cold, rubbery, overcooked scrambled eggs for lunch was not too bad. Not when you’re this happy.

You also found out, later that night, that eating beans and sausages from the can for dinner wasn’t too bad either. Not when you were eating it in bed with the man of your dreams who had just told you that he was, without a single shred of a doubt, head over heels in love with you.

A sentiment you very quickly and happily reciprocated.

The two of you definitely took advantage of the empty house that weekend.

When he finally got dressed and got your stuff from the trunk of your car, he never took it back to the guesthouse, and you didn’t protest.

**********

He had asked you to marry him about six months after you moved in to the main house. He and Sarah went to baking class together to learn to bake cookies and had baked alphabet cookies spelling out ‘WiLL YOU MArRy ME’ and ‘WiLL YOU Be My MOM’ for you, which had you crying so hard you couldn’t answer for a good ten minutes.

You had a funeral for Allie about a week before the wedding. Sarah surprised everyone by playing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’ on a Ukulele, something she learnt during her weekends with her Papa and Nana, Jimmy and Tommy singing off-key at the top of their lungs, earning them angry glares from the five-year-old. It was a good day.

The wedding was a simple ceremony in the backyard, attended only by close family and friends. When he asked you what you wanted for a wedding gift, you asked him to add your name to his car, since your tin can had never started up again since that day you tried to leave.

He then showed you the registration for the car, which was already in your name, it had been so since he bought it. He was just too nervous to let you know. You asked for a new laptop instead, for your next plan.

When you, in return, asked him what he would like for a wedding gift, he asked that you let him spoil you for the honeymoon. No protesting about the cost, nothing. Took you a while, but you agreed in the end.

And that was how you ended up sprawled naked on a plush bed in a fancy apartment on the canals of Venice.

**********

You and Allie were lounging at the beach. There was a couple kissing some way aways from you.

“Hey Oldie, why aren’t you dating anyone?”

You shrugged.

“Don’t need anyone. Only you. And, as far as I know, no one’s died from being single.”

Allie scoffed. “What would you do when I finish school and leave the house huh? Who’s gonna take care of you?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. But most probably I’ll hound you in college. And I can take care of myself, thank you very much!”

Allie looked at her fingers, picking at her nail.

“We can’t afford college, Oldie, I know you work hard and put money aside for me, but maybe I shouldn’t go. You should use the money for something else. For yourself, for once.”

You stiffened at that. You shot up from your lying position to face her.

“You, little miss, are going to college. Don’t you worry about the cost. Leave that up to me. I’m going to make sure you’re going to college and be a success, and live the good life I could never give you, if it’s the last thing I do, you got that?”

Allie nodded. Her eyes began to water.

“And I will make sure you end up happy, living your dreams in a nice house where you don’t have to worry about money or extra fees, doing what you love, with a good, kind, handsome man to love you, worship you, take care of you, and give you a family of your own, if it’s the last thing I do.”

You laughed. “Sure, that’ll happen,” you said.

She hugged you, and you savoured her small body on yours, your baby sister, your best friend, your reason to keep living, your life.

If you had known what was about to happen the next day, you wouldn’t have stopped hugging her.

You woke up with a startle.

“Hey Oldie. Whoa… cover up lady… sheesh…” Allie placed her hand before her eyes, and you quickly covered your exposed breasts with the sheets. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, right beside you.

You stared at her, unable to believe she was really there.

“Congratulations Oldie. It was a beautiful wedding.”

“You were there? Why didn’t you come say hi then?”

“When could I have? The moment you two were alone you got busy! I was never gonna see that! Fuck, I had to hang around by the canal for two whole days before I could get you alone! Sheesh. Spend all this money to honeymoon in Venice, but let’s stay in bed, don’t see Venice or anything!”

You laughed, your face red thinking about your super handsy husband every time he thought someone wasn’t looking.  

“And thank you, for the headstone. The funeral. I loved it. It was awesome. Tell Jimmy and Cece their baby is like, super cute! And Sarah learnt to play the Ukelele just for that song? Damn, Oldie, your new daughter’s adorable. Tell her peppermint oil helps with the blisters.”

You couldn’t respond. Your sight was blurring. You angrily brushed the tears away, you needed to see her clearly, the face of the teenager you raised and missed with every beat of your heart.

“I won’t be able to come visit again after today. I should move on; I promised mom and dad.”

Your tears kept falling in a steady stream down your face. The thought of never seeing her again broke your heart.

“Hey, no tears. I’m okay. I’m happy. You have a new life now. Go live it. Be all you want to be.”

“Thanks little miss. And thank you, for saving Joel when you did. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have him through all of this.”

“Hey, I told you. I was gonna make sure you end up happy, with a good, kind, handsome man to love you, worship you, take care of you if it’s the last thing I do, remember? I keep my promises.”

You stared at her. All this time? She’s been setting you and Joel up from the beyond?

“What? You played matchmaker while you were in a coma?”

“Hey, it worked, right? I chose the right man, didn’t I? I’m happy to see you so happy, Oldie. You deserve this. You deserve him, and him, you. He’s a good guy.”

You blushed uncontrollably, you couldn’t even bring yourself to get annoyed at her, she was right. He was a great guy, and you were so lucky to have him in your life.

She gave you a teary smile, obviously happy for you, but something else was on her mind. After a long silence, she spoke again.

“I’m sorry I left.”

You shook your head, “No, Allie, don’t be. This is how things were supposed to be.”

“Gonna miss you Oldie. Love you more than life itself.”

“Love you Little Miss. I’m gonna miss you. Say hi to mom and dad, okay? Tell them I miss them?”

You heard the beep from the front door, signalling Joel’s return. You felt an airy brush to your cheek, and when you looked, Allie was no longer there.

Joel walked into the room, immediately placing the breakfast he had bought on the table when he saw you sobbing on the bed, getting on the bed with you, lifting you up onto his lap and smothering you with kisses and a big bear hug. What’s wrong baby?

You told him that Allie wont be visiting anymore, and the two of you cried together, only to laugh uncontrollably when you told him her cunning matchmaking plans.

“Well, thank you Allie. Not only for saving my life, but for introducing me to the love of my life.”

The two of you hardly left the apartment throughout the first three days of your honeymoon, staying naked in bed, only leaving to buy food for energy for more… important activities.

But you did eventually leave and saw Venice, did all the cheesy touristy things too. Going on Gondola rides, shopping at ridiculously expensive boutiques where you tried to drag him out but was met with a ‘you promised’ look, eating the best meals ever in tiny little hole in the wall restaurants where the tourists didn’t go, spending hours walking around hand in hand with your new husband, the man your sister set you up with, from beyond.

**********

Joel, Sarah, Anita, Jake, Tommy, Maria, Tess, Julie, Jimmy and Cece came crowding you after the ceremony. You could still hear their cheers and whooping when your name was called, Sarah’s “Yeah Mom!” ringing in your ears as you accepted the leather folder from the Dean.

It had been eight years, almost to the day, since you first met Joel. Six years of marriage, and seven gruelling years of school for your bachelors and master’s degrees in Children’s Education. You were seriously contemplating pursuing your PhD, but you decided to wait a year or two, while other, unplanned, but happy things run its course.

Sarah was a teenager now, but still requests French Toast at least a few times a week, and still clung onto you like she did when she was little every single night, still smuggled Apple with her wherever she went.

Joel still brought your packed lunch to work every day, these days in a lunch pack that Sarah was too ashamed to bring to school since she’s a big girl now. Tess sent you a video of him chastising some big burly men for some financial screw up, his face red from anger, the vein in his neck popping up, sending them away, before pulling the unicorn lunch box from the corner of his big manly table and taking out the pink unicorn Tupperware container you had placed in there containing his lunch, the sight of the contents and the notes from you and Sarah making his anger magically go away. You still smile every time you watch that video. Your big bear of a man. So serious in business, but so soft and cuddly when it came to his wife and BabyGirl.

You still worked at the daycare. Well, you sort of co-owned it, now, with Julie. Turned out, having a rich husband was not so bad after all. And having a business partner whose live-in girlfriend possessed an MBA wasn’t too shabby either. The daycare had now expanded into a preschool, and there were talks of expanding it into a franchise, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

You no longer live in the guesthouse, obviously. It was now your office, where you spend your time studying and doing your work when you were busy in school. Well, it was supposed to be your office, but Joel and Sarah usually ended up there with you whenever you were working, Sarah on her headphones listening to something while doing homework, and Joel just sitting somewhere near you, where he could still reach for you when he needed to, which was literally every second, reading something or watching something on his iPad.

Tanya and Liz were both in the same women’s prison, it seemed. They had both written letters to you and Joel, seeking forgiveness for their roles in your lives. Liz was supposed to be released in about seven years, but that went to pot when she attacked a guard upon finding out that Joel had remarried. And Tanya, well, let’s just say she will never see the outside of prison in her natural life ever again.  

Neither you nor Joel saw Allie again after those last times. She remained in your memories, though, and the three of you celebrated her birthday every year. Every now and again, you would dream of her, usually during big moments in your lives. Last night, you dreamt of her smiling at you from an island, telling you she was proud of you for being one step closer to fulfilling your dreams.

Joel and Sarah reached you before everyone did. Sarah hugged your middle tight, telling you she loved you, and that she was so proud of you. You took off your cap and placed it on her head, and she happily went off to take pictures. Joel peppered your face with kisses before settling on your lips, murmuring “congratulations baby, I’m so proud of you,” before deepening the kiss, silencing the commotion that was around you. Sarah came back and hugged you again, and you never thought you would be this happy, your found daughter hugging your belly, you husband’s hand on it, your child nestled inside, a daughter, to be named Ellie.

A name chosen after the special little lady who matchmade you and Joel, quite literally, from heaven.   

---

[theambitiouswoman]

Do you have relationship advice for a woman in her mind 20s whose never dated? I have Muslim immigrant parents, social anxiety, trauma and some body image issues which has led me to just never try. I've been on one date that never went anywhere despite being 25. I want to start trying to date more seriously but I feel like I'm too old to start when everyone around me has been dating since they were teenagers, and some are even married and have kids. I feel like my lack of experience will be a red flag to people, and even if I lie about my experience, they'll probably figure out I'm lying once they see that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

Dating at 25 might feel late, but it’s not—everyone’s timeline is different, and starting now means you’re likely more self aware and intentional. Your lack of experience isn’t a red flag; it’s just part of your story. I know a lot of social circles where your limited relationship history basically makes you a trophy, a unicorn. So it is all about perspective. Any person who's interested in you wont look at this negatively, at all. And that is if they even care about your past history. The right person will value your honesty and authenticity, so there’s no need to lie. Instead, embrace vulnerability and say something like, “I am focusing on myself." I phrased it like that for a reason. You don't want to be an over eager girl anyway. Men love the hunt and a woman who is focused on herself is only going to make a guy more interested.

Start small to build confidence—practice conversations in low-pressure settings or join activities where you can meet people naturally. I would focus on casual, low pressure dates to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Not thinking about it going anywhere, just getting to know people. I say this because I am worried that with your limited experience, you might fall for mens lies or wont know how to navigate certain situations. Wouldn't want you to get hurt. This doesn't mean not to take yourself or your desire for relationships seriously!!!

Don’t compare yourself to others. Many who started dating young may not have the emotional clarity you’re developing now. Everyones journey is different. If i could do it all again, I would have 1000% waited to date later (was actually thinking about this a week ago). Focus on what you want in a partner and take your time. Dating is a skill, and every step—even awkward moments—helps you learn. You are beautiful, special and unique and not just anyone is worthy of you, so you shouldn't be in a hurry to make anyone your boyfriend either!! They have to earn you! :)

[creepycranberry]

Big black car- 4

3

Warnings: slow burn, L*ke, topper is very much noncanon compliant (he’s like a mix of topper and Austin’s character in IDDI), alcohol, abuse, parental death, not proofread, kook/pogue bullshit, swearing, w*rd, let me know about anything else.

•••

Rafe hadn’t seen you in days. Not for the rest of the party, not when he went by Toppers to hang out, not even when he was trying to look for you.

You weren’t at the wreck or at toppers, he even asked Sarah where you were.

“Why are you so worried about it?” She asked him as they stood at least a yard away from each other. He had ran into her and John B at the beach and asked to talk. Sarah sent John B off to look for bait or muscles or something while she talked to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what’s it to you? She’s just some pogue to you. Doesn’t matter who her dad was or her relationship with Topper. Or I mean, it didn’t before.” Sarah shrugs. Rafe felt like he was slipping off the edge somehow. He was giving Sarah the upper hand.

“I’m not worried or anything, I was just wondering. I’m not concerned with her as like a person but that doesn’t mean I want her hurt or anything, especially after that whole thing with her dad.” He rambled, pointedly avoiding his sisters gaze.

She smiled knowingly. He knew that smile well. That’s how their mother used to smile when she knew he was up to something.

“What thing with her dad?” John B asked as he approached the two of them.

“I don’t know if she’d want me saying too much about it.” Rafe scratches the back of his neck.

“JJ’s been looking for him for days. He pulled some shit with his dealer and now we’re out of a good chunk of change so I think she can deal so her brother can live and eat and survive. Not all of us have rich ass friends who’ll take us in at the drop of a hat.” John B stated bitterly and Rafe bit back his anger. John B was oversimplifying things to an almost rude degree.

“Sorry, man but you’ll have to ask her. I just want to make sure he hasn’t killed her or anything. Which he almost did, which is the entire reason she’s with Topper right now. But that doesn’t affect you so you don’t care right?” Rafe scoffs.

“You’re one to talk about not caring. Where’s your sister been living these last few months? Oh yeah, with me.” John B retorts.

“That was her decision. I can’t decide shit for her, and it got her away from ward so I don’t really give a shit. She’s alive and you’re treating her just fine. Not all of that can be said for Maybanks' sister, so one more time, have you seen her?”

Sarah’s face softens noticeably at Rafes acknowledgement of their father and how he treated them.

“She called JJ the other day. She’s been picking up extra shifts to stay busy. She’s okay Rafe.” Sarah reassures him and he sighs.

“Thanks, Sarah.”

And even days after that he didn’t see you. It was like you evaporated into thin air.

He went to Toppers house again a couple days later. It was earlier in the day and they were gonna go surfing. Topper was getting ready and he left the bathroom door open so he and Rafe could continue their conversation.

“Topper I need to shower so if you could- oh uh, hey Rafe.”

He was half convinced you were an apparition. You stood there with your hair messy from sleep and your eyes drooping. He felt like he was about to fall down the drop on a rollercoaster. You were there, in a shirt that had to be either JJ’s or Toppers, your legs on display but his eyes clung to yours.

“Hey, peaches. You doing alright?”

“Yeah. I’ve just been working a bit.” You say, clutching a bath towel in your hands.

“I think Sarah might have mentioned that.” He smiles and you nod.

Topper sits between you two, a puzzled look on his face as he watches you avoid looking Rafe in the eyes and Rafe stare intently into yours.

“Are you guys sleeping together?”

“What?”

“Oh my god.”

“I’m sorry you guys are just acting weird.”

“Did you need something, Peaches?” Rafe changed the subject and you nod.

“I need a ride to the chateau.” You tell Topper, thankful for a change in subject.

“We are actually about to go surf for a little bit.” Topper sighs.

“That’s fine, I still need to like shower and change and all.” You offer.

“I’m hanging out with Becca today.” He shrugs.

“Is that still going on?” You ask, your surprise evident in your tone and expression.

Toppers about to say something smart but Rafe interrupts him, “I can give you a ride if you need.”

“You don’t have to, I don’t mean to get in the way or anything.” You shake your head.

“It’s really no problem, peaches.”

“Well yeah, but I just-”

“Just let me give you a ride.” He insists with finality.

The two of you stare at each other for another moment, topper holding his tongue on what this looks like.

“Okay.”

Rafe nods once and then turns back to Topper, “you almost ready to head out?”

Topper nods and leaves the bathroom, closing the door, “so you’re giving her a ride?”

“Don’t be crude, asshole.”

“And you’re getting defensive! O for 2, man.” Topper teases and Rafe rolls his eyes, throwing a pillow at Topper, “are you blushing? Holy shit you’re blushing. Never seen you blush before.”

“Well you’re having a lot of fun humiliating me.”

“What’s humiliating about it? You like her and-”

“I don’t like her. I mean not like that. She’s nice, cool almost. And she’s resilient as fuck. I just think she has enough problems without me making things worse.” Rafe shrugs. He faintly hears the shower turn on in the bathroom.

“So you’re just doing charity or…?”

“What the- no, man. I like talking to her, and you hang out with her a lot and she lives here now and it- it costs nothing to be kind.”

Toppers eyebrows lift at Rafe use of that particular cliche, “I think I get it. She’s a lot like her, makes sense you’d get comfortable with her.”

“What are you talking about?”

Topper crouches and pulls his flip flops from under his bed, “it’s just really common for guys to be attracted to women who remind them of their mothers. It’s psychology.”

“I don’t- I’m not attracted to her. I mean- she’s pretty and all, but it’s really nothing to do with the fact that she and my mom are similar.”

“So you admit that you like that she reminds you of your mother?”

“That is not what I said.” Rafe argues and Topper shrugs, “it’s not anything like that I just- she gets it.”

“What?”

“The whole- parent thing.”

Topper and Rafe have been friends since they were kids. Topper knew Rafes mom before she passed, the same way he knew your dad before he died. He knew about Rafes issues with his dad but the similarities had never crossed his mind.

“Oh. I mean that makes sense.”

Rafe nods and looks at the ceiling for a minute, “are we going or not?”

“Yeah man, sure.”

••••

When Rafe and topper get back to the house you’re laying on Toppers bed, holding a notebook above your head.

“How the hell did you pass sophomore year? Why do you still have this?”you ask him. A smile playing on your features.

“I leave you alone for two seconds.” Topper scoffs, snatching the notebook from you.

“Try two hours.”

“I told you we were going surfing.” He shrugs.

“We would have been back an hour ago but Topper kept wiping out.” Rafe mutters nonchalantly, running a hand through his wet hair, “you wanna head out or..?”

“Yes, please.”

The two of you say goodbye to Topper who grumbles under his breath about you two teaming up against him. You and Rafe both roll your eyes as he closes the bedroom door. You follow him down the hall and the stairs and out the door.

“You been doing okay since that whole thing at the anniversary party?” Rafe asks you as he opens the passenger door for you.

You have to wait a minute to answer him as he closes the door and makes his way around to the driver's seat.

“Yeah, I’m fine. JJ’s dealing with him,” you shrug, “thanks for the um- for helping get him out. Mrs. Thornton told me that you had a bit to do with his removal and all.”

“It was no big deal.” He assures you.

“Well it was to me.” You remark and his eyebrows draw together.

“It’s really not. Ensuring that you’re safe is the bare minimum.” He argues.

“Well I’ve never really had anyone do that before so it’s a big deal to me.” You shrug.

“So what’s up with your car?” Rafe asks in effort to continue the conversation.

“Broke down on me, I’ll be hitching rides from now on.”

“That sucks.”

“It’s fine. Minor inconvenience.” You shrug.

Rafe doesn’t respond. The rest of the drive is quiet until you pull up to the chateau, “you gonna need a ride home?” He asks and you shake your head, “you sure?”

“Even if I did, you probably have better things to do than chauffeuring me around. I’ll see you around?” You ask, a small smile on your face.

The sun is setting and the orange of the sky is reflecting over your skin and your eyes looks like they’re glowing, multicolored glass in the sun.

Rafe nods and you say goodbye and shut the car door.

“Who the fuck was that?” JJ says from the porch where he and John B were watching your interaction.

“No one important.” You shrug, sitting next to him and taking a sip of his water before spitting it out, “that’s not water.” You cough.

“I’ll go grab you something to drink.” John B says and you smile.

“I’m pretty sure that was Rafe Cameron.” JJ says, still caught up on the last subject of conversation.

“It was, Topper couldn’t drive me so he did.”

“Why?” JJ asks and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know, to be polite?”

“I didn’t know he knew how to do that.” JJ mutters.

“He’s not that bad.” You shrug.

“He’s a fucking loon is what he is.” JJ mutters.

“He’s nice, he makes sure I’m okay and that’s pretty much it, and it’s really all for Tops sake.” You reason and JJ takes a sip of his drink, swishing the liquid around in his mouth.

“Sure.” He sighs, “ Sarah said John B said something about you seeing dad?”

“Oh uh, yeah. He randomly showed up at an event I was at, they had to remove him from the premises, we didn’t exactly get to have a conversation about whatever happened with you guys.”

“An event?”

“It was a party, a thing for Toppers parents.” You explain away and JJ tucks his tongue into his cheek.

He doesn’t say anything else for a while, and eventuallyn John B comes out with a water for you, “we’ve just gotta wait for Sarah.”

“Why? Is she okay?” You ask, they still haven’t explained to you why you’re here.

John B fiddles with the hem of his short and a compulsive smile finds its way to his lips, “she’s fine, she just wants to be here to-”

“Is she pregnant?” You ask, half joking, but the way JJ looks at him and the way John B avoids your eye line confirms your suspicion, “no. Wait- are we happy about this? Do I need to get the condom and banana again?”

“No.”

“Please don’t.” The boys chorus.

“We’re happy about it.” John B smiles and you laugh carelessly and leap across the porch swing to hug him, “there’s more, there’s more!” He laughs, “but Sarah might kill me if I don’t let her tell you the other thing.”

The three of you smile and then you turn to JJ in all seriousness, “are you being safe?”

“God, look at the time, I think I’ve gotta-“ JJ laughs, practically jumping off of his seat.

“Cause I’m not ready to be an aunt yet and just because your friends are jumping off that bridge-“ he groans, his cheeks turning pink.

“God, mom, I’ll be fine, I’m gonna go and look for uh- something.”

You laugh and he smiles back at you as he walks down to the dock.

You turn your attention back to John B and smile “How are you feeling? Are you nervous?”

“Kind of. The parent thing I just- I don’t really have- like my dad was great until…. He wasn’t, you know? And I just- I want to be a good parent, like you.”

You shake your head in confusion, “me? I don’t have any kids, Routledge.”

“I mean you kind of did. Me and JJ didn’t come out too fucked up and it wasn’t really by our actual parents hands.”

“Your dad was a great parent when we were younger.” You argue and he shrugs.

“Yeah, but you were the closest thing I had to a mom.”

You blink for a moment, focusing on the movement of your eyelids, “oh. I guess.”

“I just don’t want to fuck this kid up.” He says and you nod.

“You’ll be great.” You smile.

“Did you tell her?” A voice from behind the screen door says and John B smiles wider.

“She guessed, I didn’t say anything!”

“Uh huh.” Sarah smiles, sitting next to him.

“She doesn’t know the other thing though, I told her she had to wait for you, does that win me any brownie points?” He smiles and rests his chin on Sarah’s shoulder.

“I guess.” She smiles.

They keep giving each other goo goo eyes and you pretend to puke and they both look up, John B blushes a little.

“Anyways,” Sarah emphasizes, “I was wondering, or we were but it was my idea, if you’d be willing to be the babies godparent?”

You blink again, your eyes going impossibly wide as you look at John B, “me?”

“I mean yeah, you're way more put together than any of us, plus you have a trust, so you kind of have the financial stability in case anything happens.” John B argues and your eyebrows knit together in surprise.

“I would be honored.” You concede and Sarah laughs joyously, her nose scrunching as she smiles impossibly wide, “have you told your family yet?”

Her face drops slightly and she shakes her head a little, “no, I haven’t really talked to any of them lately.”

“Really? Rafe said he spoke to you not too long ago. Or I mean he alluded to it.”

“We ran into each other randomly, I didn’t really think to tell him.” Sarah explains.

“Do you want me to tell him or would you rather he just not know at all?” You inquire, picking at your fingernails.

“I’ll tell him at some point.” Sarah says in a way that alludes to the end of the conversation.

[silverhalla]

neve came back and I IMMEDIATELY started crying

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Had to explain to my parents last night that women don’t pee out of their vaginas. And then they just didn’t believe me!!! My mother kept saying that she knows she only has two holes (?????????) until my dad made everyone move on.

[sparklecryptid]

I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.

[beemintty]

you think it’s shameful to wear these marks on my skin

you apologise when it happens

you hesitate when the opportunity presents itself

because what if they all see

but what you don’t seem to get is that i take pride in wearing this mark on my skin

this bruised sign of your affection

this mark of love

i do not feel shame for this

i do not feel any shame for loving you

do not be scared of your own love for someone my dear

let the world see

let them know you love me

and i’ll let them know i love you by wearing them with so much pride.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[mangoisms]

i did plan to add to my queue then dip but i will leave with one thing. a couple things. um. Yes i know chapter 8 is late. it will be late until next week friday i am VERY sorry but this week, while unexpectedly great, was also super busy and i had no time to myself At All during the week and i’d like to do that this weekend.

also yesterday. i saw blue beetle. GREAT movie excellent movie everyone go see it immediately. i will talk about it more next week when i come back. so yes. i love you all. thank you