#and I don’t know how to act any differently

[astroismypassion]

Relationship and Compatibility Takes 📍📍📍

Credit @astroismypassion

This is purely based on real life, more so astrology opinions about placements in the Natal chart, so don’t take things to heart.

📍 Cancer Venus men: What is up with them? I think this is one of the placements that is so misrepresented in astrology community. They act really impulsively based on emotion without careful reasoning or thinking of the long-term consequences. The clingy, emotionally mature and wise must be Cancer Venus women then. They are attracted to younger partners. Loves giving food as a gift, even for birthdays. Even when committed, they are not that incredibly loyal and devoted as often described, I’ve seen these people change partners fast or end a partnership on a whim. Also, minus points for not being as affectionate as they are often described. Low key this Venus sign does not give me any stability vibes, they are highly unpredictable (each day is different), must be up there with Gemini, Aquarius, Virgo Venus.

📍 Capricorn Moon: These people attract people with father issues or those who don’t have a father present in their life. Usually Capricorn Moon’s partner has life-long challenges with the father. The partnership with Capricorn Moon can weigh them down, but only after years, this becomes noticable. Loves younger partners.

📍 Gemini Juno: having a Gemini Juno as a partner is a very unique experience. They will remember your favourite snack, song that you mentioned on the first date. However, they do demand a lot in return! They like someone as equally thoughtful, observant and some who just pays attention to everything they say, do and how they react. Gemini Juno native, however, really just loves simple picnics in nature, going for coffee with you, cooking with you, watching films with favourite snacks. They are in love with all the little, simple things in life shown consistently and usually don’t need big gestures.

📍 Ascendant Pluto aspects men: Loves to date significantly younger partner from what I’ve seen. They always go for someone unassuming and less popular than them, but who is really kind, sweet and cute. Genuine kindness and being a good person is so important to them in a partner. However, likely to choose a younger partner, so they can better control them. I said what I said, they can’t help themselves.

📍Pisces Moon: Low key loves to be bossed around. They attract controlling and orderly partners, because they crave a sense of structure that they lacked as a child.

📍Aries Moon: They are looking for a partner with rules, who will bring discipline to the relationship and someone who will dominate them. These people are so soft and obedient around their family members, close friends or a partner! They just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, like ever.

📍Aquarius Moon: They love travelling with their friends, even with a couple third wheeling like a really throuple. Some even go camping with friends often. They love having traditions with friends, like for halloween or like a yearly ski trip. This is either a city boi turned country boy or vice versa. Someone who lived in the country their first half of live and later moved to a bigger city. They are kinda urban people, but then always complains about wanting a more peaceful environment.

📍Pisces Mars: Quite literally the dick that doesn’t know any limits. So struggles with boundaries, if their feelings are involved. These people are lead by their emotions. If they still like you, they will want to touch you. Low key, sometimes disregards whether you are in a partnership or not, because they don’t even care, because their emotions are involved. But they do give plenty second chances, benefit of the doubt! And you will feel like it is incredibly hard to walk away from Pisces Mars, just because they are trying to have that eternal bond with you and it shows! They really want to keep you in their life forever, if they feel like you two are vibing well!

📍Scorpio Moon: Now, this is just alltogether an unique one! I argue this is the most unique, complex and interesting native, because each is so specific due to their lifestory and experiences. They have really one-of-a-kind life and energy and you will feel it! However, yes! They are obsessed with themselves (like JLo), but usually is rightly so! They are the highest earner in the company, your rags to riches lifestory hero, someone who had a transformative effect on their field. They usually have controlling partners.

📍Taurus Moon: Why does every Taurus Moon I know behave like a Libra Moon? 😩 They are either single and content for a while or can be constantly found in a partnership. This doesn’t mean they are codependent, just always find themselves in a partnership. Though, they do heavily rely on emotional support from their partner, because they don’t receive it from their family.

📍Gemini Venus: For what I’ve seen a lot of Gemini Venuses met their “real love” partner while in a marriage or partnership to someone else.

📍Libra Mars/Mars at a Libra degree (7, 19): They are low key so erratic😭. Their behaviour towards you is constantly switching up. This makes them appear chaotic, inconsistent and indecisive, very hot and cold behaviour as well. They are actually really critical of people around them. They have a tendency “to discipline” their partners. They can be tactless, out of all Libra placements this is not a peaceful mediator, but the one that stirs conflict between their partner and their family. And at the first moment they seem to be fed up, they end the relationship and find a new one. They switch partners a lot and have dated quite a few people in life, but always for a shorter period of time. They struggle with keeping a partnership for 2, 3 years. They also desire really flexible, compromising partner who go along with their wishes.

📍Leo Venus: some say that if you have Leo Venus as your partner, that this means you are really good-looking. They are realy sweet, but demanding. It’s not a walk in the park to get them OR to KEEP them. They are selective. But their downside is that they struggle not with getting a partner, but keeping them. I think they have a hard time holding onto a relationship, like any other Leo placement (I’m looking at you Leo Moon and Leo Lilith👀).

📍Capricorn Venus: Ahh, these are my late bloomers. Best not to get tied down to a marriage before your first Saturn Return. These natives when younger, before the age of 30, have a skewed idea of love, partnership or marriage. It’s best to do some soul searching and getting to know your values, expectations before entering a partnership. Because this is why they experience so much disappointment in younger years. Their old age is the time to get coupled up! And also, really take the necessary time to understand yourself. You usually when younger just get along with whatever your partner suggests!

📍Aquarius Venus, Venus at an Aquarius degree (11, 23): Surprisingly, they could have a committed partner and still a “friend” with whom they are romantic on the side. They are romantic with their friends a lot of time, consciously or unconsciously.

📍 Leo Mars: They are more Leo Sun than the real Leo Sun, if you ask me. Surprisingly emotional! But they are quick to forgive you, if you acknowledge and validate their emotions. They need a partner that will make their perspective heard. When they feel under-appreciated, they act out, which leads to dramatic frustration or hurt. Also, they are constantly act in ways that they seek acknowledgement, validation from their partner. But they will celebrate you in return! If you are acting too shy with them, it’s also a no go for them!

📍Taurus Mars: Surprisingly controlling, like Virgo Mars, likes routine and predictable partnerships, they dislike flaky people. They will resolve conflict only if they believe in the long-term of a partnership! Otherwise, they will sink that partnership. Need a lot of validation from partner. Also, they seek drama and conflica when they sense you ignoring them or pulling back too much and this is kind of unexpected from them.

📍Cancer Mars: Wants to build a home or family together with a partner or completely runs away from the idea. They cherish memories, traditions and milestones, can be sentimental and nostalgic in this manner. They often look back on your shared memories together and reminisce. However, be mindful, they struggle with letting go of past hurts, grievances in the partnership. Because they withdraw so often, you are likely to experience misunderstandings with them!

📍Mars in the 10th house: They are trying to create business, legacy and personal success with their partner. They seek a partnership that aligns with or enhances them. Attracted to people who excude strength, authority or have a commanding presence. Usually Mars in the 10th house takes a leadership role in the partnership, so prepare for this! They also want to constantly influence the direction of the partnership. Or wanting “to guide” you! They might attract partners for the wrong reasons, such as status or mutual gain, rather than emotional compatibility, so beware.

📍Sagittarius Mars: Hates controlling partners. They dislike predictability and stagnant energy, unless this is indicated by other aspects. They love idea of building and growing a partnership. They desire new levels of commitment. Loves someone who is enthusiastic about going to a new coffee shop, wants to try new cuisine. They crave a balance between closeness and pursuing own interests, passions. Because they are so blunt themselves, they expect their partner to do the same! In conflicts, they prioritize truth over sensitivity and that’s the hard truth about them! They are incredibly playful, like what you would expect from a Leo Mars, often create spontaneous plans, trips. They are restless and struggle with focus in long-term partnership.

📍Virgo Mars: They attract a lot of emotionally constipated, emotionally unavailable people (which is true for Gemini and Virgo placements in general). They naturally worry or have anxiety about the partnership. They struggle to see the bigger picture when in a partnership. They are conflict avoidant. But they do need a partner that is stable, deliberate, attentive and not overly dramatic. They always need a sense of well organisation in a partnership in order to thrive.

[cybrasigilism]

She’s Like Morphine (Player 380 x F!Reader)

content warnings: smut | winners love winning | fingering | cunnilingus | not proofread! | out of game AU | punk rocker! semi x f!reader

character: se-mi (player 380)

A/N: this was requested to me through my messages! i was already planning on writing for se-mi so it works out perfectly :) hope you guys enjoy!

thanks to @elixk1tten for the request!

MDNI! 18+ content ahead, reader discretion is advised

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it was supposed to be a typical friday-night gig. the same old routine. se-mi had grown accustomed to seeing a pretty girl out in the crowd every now and then, but this time, this time it was different. she felt totally unprofessional because for the first time in her whole career of being a punk musician, she couldn’t take her eyes off of one person in the crowd in this dingy little dive bar…

and of course that person, was you.

you had caught se-mi’s eye from the moment she clocked you in the crowd after performing the first song. she no longer felt like she was performing just for the sake of it as usual in that moment, but she felt as though she had to impress you, specifically. like she was singing for you. she knew that she just had to get to you after the performance was done.

after the crowd of regulars dispersed from asking for photos and autographs with se-mi, she kept her eyes peeled for you amongst the many bar patrons. to many this would seem futile, as this dive bar was completely packed. but she had practically memorized your face the moment she got a good look at you out in the crowd. she had hoped that maybe you had stuck around, so she could have a chance to put a name to the face that stunned her.

lucky for her, you had indeed chosen to stick around. se-mi wasn’t the only one who was mystified with the person she saw that night, as that was exactly how you felt when she walked up to centre stage. you felt your cheeks grow hot when she looked at you, and you could tell she was looking right at you, it wasn’t a coincidence. you pretended not to notice as se-mi approached you, nervously trying to act as though you were staring into your drink and definitely not thinking the wholly inappropriate thoughts that you definitely were.

“so, did you enjoy the show?” she chuckled, causing you to jump in your seat a bit, you turned around swiftly and realized just how closely she was actually standing next to you. you stared blankly for a moment, trying to compose yourself, before she cocked her head and asked “you alright?”

“yeah! yeah, i’m okay.” you laughed nervously, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you tried your best not to make too much eye contact. “yeah, i really loved the show.” se-mi smiled, and proceeded to ask if she could sit down, to which you quickly accepted. why wouldn’t you?

“what’s your name?” my, she was rather quick to start getting to know you, wasn’t she. you were so used to people trying to hit on you without at least getting your name first that her formality shocked you. “my name?” you echoed, earning another snicker from se-mi. “what, did you forget your own name or something?” she teased, you could feel your cheeks warm up again with embarrassment. “i’m sorry, it’s (Y/N).” you apologized, bowing your head slightly. “don’t do that, you don’t have anything to apologize for.” she said reassuringly. “i guess you’re used to assholes just coming onto you without a proper introduction, huh.”

you were dumbfounded by how well she was reading you, it’s not exactly like you had a poker face by any means but her accuracy was astounding. “how did you guess?” you rolled your eyes jokingly, taking a sip of your drink. se-mi looked you up and down before blatantly saying “well it’s pretty obvious given how gorgeous you are, i’m sure you’ve got fools tripping over themselves for you all the time.” you chuckled a bit, before tucking your hair behind your ear (a classic move i know), and thanking her. “you know, i don’t usually do this… but i was thinking something.” she started, leaning in a bit so you could hear her better. “how about you come backstage? i’d love to get to know you better, y’know, one on one.” she placed her hand on your thigh at saying the last bit, causing your temperature to spike tenfold, you were positive.

“really?” you stammered, trying not to explode at the contact she just closed between you two. “are you…are you even allowed to have me back there? i don’t have a backstage pass..” se-mi giggled and looked out into the crowd. “yeah usually that would be a problem,” she looked back at you, once more giving you the up-down, “but i think i can make an exception for you.”

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of all the things you expected to happen tonight, being underneath a super hot, punk rocker with her knee between your legs was the very last thing you could have thought. it was a surprise you could even focus on thinking about how you got to this point when you had se-mi marking up your neck, biting softly every once and again. your eyes were practically glazed over as she slid her ringed hands up your shirt and beneath your bra, fingers playing with your nipples. you cried out at the cold sensation of her fingers over your breasts but at the same time you’ve never felt so good. she released herself from your neck and smirked down at you.

“you feeling good?” se-mi asked almost smugly as she toyed with the buttons on your shirt, attempting to break through to what she wanted underneath. you shook your head, barely being able to formulate a sentence before she pressed her knee into your crotch. “i’m gonna need words, baby.” something about her voice just drove you insane, as if in a trance you responded almost instantly. “god, yes.” you moaned out, grabbing at her shirt and pulling her in for a kiss. you could feel se-mi chuckle against your lips, before pulling back and taking off her own shirt. you don’t know why but the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath shocked you, but what she was about to do would shock you even further.

se-mi kissed down your torso all the way to the zipper of your jeans, to which she looked up at you as if waiting for an “okay”, which you gave. she then took the zipper in between her teeth and pulled all the way down, looking up at you all the while. you felt your core heat up as she unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them off, revealing a black, lacy pair of panties. she looked up at you with a smirk and a raised brow. “you were so hoping something like this would happen, weren’t you?” se-mi snickered. you blushed and turned away, but she only laughed before affixing your leg above her shoulder. “no fault there, i’m not about to judge someone for being prepared.”

you squeezed your eyes shut, too nervous to maintain eye contact as she pulled your panties to the side to reveal just how soaked she had gotten you. “shit, how quickly did you get like this?” she asked, practically forcing you to open your eyes. “i..um..” you were well beyond the point of speaking a full sentence now. “i dunno… just need you.” se-mi could feel how desperate you were for her, hell the evidence was literally right in front of her face, and she decided to get a taste of just exactly how much you needed her.

your back forcibly arched as she licked up your pussy, you could tell she wanted to take her time with you and god, you hoped she did. she drew moans and whimpers from you as she sucked on your clit, moaning while she did so herself. you took a handful of her black hair in your hand when she eventually inserted two fingers into your hole, still sucking and licking and your clit. her motions were slow and deliberate, she wanted you to feel every thrust as she pumped her fingers in and out of you.

“ ‘s too- too much.. ‘m gonna.. ‘m gonna…” you managed to utter through your whines, she released herself from your clit, fingers still working your pussy. “you’re gonna what, sweetheart?” she taunted, her motions growing quicker as tears formed in your eyes. “‘m so close, p—lease!” you cry out. feeling your walls clench around her fingers, she could definitely tell. “you’re gonna cum?” se-mi repeated, growing breathy herself. “yeah? then do it. cum for me.” she ordered, going back to sucking and licking your clit. you were practically seeing stars at this point, thoughts and sense be damned, all you could think about was how good se-mi was making you feel, and you did not want her stopping.

your legs began to shake and your grip on her hair had not loosened, you clenched down on her fingers once more before coming off the edge. se-mi’s pace finally slowed down and before you knew it, she had moved from your pussy to your lips, kissing you softly. you could taste yourself on her lips, but you were so far gone you certainly did not care. se-mi took in the state of you and chuckled, before putting her shirt back on and laying you across her lap.

“how about next time, you go down on me?” she suggested, combing her hands through your hair. you nodded, still in a daze. you couldn’t think of anything else but her.

se-mi was like a drug, she was your morphine.

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thanks for reading! and as usual advice and constructive criticism are always appreciated and requested, I’m constantly looking for ways to improve my writing :>

[tashibum]

Hiya! Just read your Geta fic To Own But Not To Share and it's just ahhh!!! The plot so strong and filthy and your writing just so good I started wondering if you considered continuing this story. Another part maybe with Geta summoning her to his chambers, Caracalla intruding and mocking them, but Geta knows how to show him that she's all his in front of his brother... Just an idea though 🫣

It’s not exactly what you asked for because for some reason, I immediately imagined them in a dining room. But here’s a little side piece to the main series.

(Food play, anal play(no penetration), exhibitionism, begging) 2.3k words

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Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Slaves knew everything that happened in the palace. They were treated like furniture, so the emperors paid them no mind when they spoke or acted vulgarly. They knew of the men Caracalla invited into his chambers, and the jugs of oil he requested. They knew he favoured both sexes and indulged in private orgies without inviting his brother. They heard Geta cry whenever his brother lashed out at him. They stood there with glasses filled with wine as the twin emperors got their cocks sucked by concubines the senates sent over to try to get in their good graces.

So when Geta ordered all of the slaves to leave the dining room, they knew he wanted to fuck you with no one watching.

He made you sit in his lap as you fed each other food that was prepared and left out for the emperors to graze on all day. It started with grapes, then slices of melon, then blackberries. Geta bit into it, and rubbed the remaining fruit all over your neck. He then licked up the dark liquid from your skin, making you laugh at the contact.

“I want to do that,” you requested and bit into a berry. You rubbed it over his ear lobe and his jawline. The emperor liked being held, so when you held onto his arms as you sucked on his earlobe, then his chin, he let out a pathetic moan.

When the grand door to the room opened, you both immediately stopped and turned to look at the intrusion. Geta was prepared to sanction whichever slave ignored his request for privacy, and his annoyance did not fade when his brother walked through the door with his pet monkey on his shoulder.

“What are you doing in here?” Geta asked, not hiding his frustration.

“Dundus is hungry,” he replied innocently.

The monkey hopped of his shoulder and walked towards the dried meats spread out on platters.

Geta shook his head and continued to kiss down your neck. It was different than before though as he now pulled your loose dress down and exposed one of your breasts. While his kisses continued, Geta glanced over at his brother to make sure that he was watching, and he was. His gaze was transfixed on your nipple. He knew his older brother had a thing for breasts, so he pressed on the underneath of your boob to make it jiggle.

Caracalla knew what his brother was doing, and tried not to give him any satisfaction.

“Her breasts are tiny. Hardly worth shaking them about,” he insulted.

Geta knew he was lying because his brother continued to stare at you. He tugged at your clothing and you knew he wanted to take it off. So you moved your hips off him to pull the dress off over your head. You sat back down on Emperor Geta’s lap completely naked and let your hands rest at your sides so he had total access to you.

He held the underneath of your breasts in his hands, as though inspecting the weight.

“I don’t know brother. They seem plentiful to me,” claimed Geta before placing one of your nipples in his mouth. His actions were slow, like he was giving your nipple a sensual kiss.

“You love getting them sucked, don’t you dear?” He teased.

You nodded and looked down a him. He gave you a devilish smile, informing you that he was putting on a show for his brother.

Caracalla walked towards you and knelt down next to Geta’s chair so he was eye-level with your free nipple.

“I fear you may be right, brother. They do seem………plentiful,” he gushed, staring at the nipple not in his brother’s mouth. He raised his hand to touch your breast, but Geta moved his hand to hold it, not letting his brother touch you.

“She is mine, brother! Do not forget,” he warned.

You ran your fingers through Geta’s hair, stopping when you reached his golden laurels. You tugged them out and threw them on the table behind you, so you could scratch his scalp without anything in the way.

When Geta thought he had tortured his brother with your breasts enough, he picked you up and laid you on the edge of the table. He knelt on the floor and spread your legs by your knees. The wetness that grew when licking and kissing the emperor was now on display to the brothers.

“My body is a vessel. Pray to Venus, and her actions will be done through me,” Geta claimed, staring at your sex.

You felt uncomfortable praying in front of others, especially praying about sex. But you could not question the emperor. He was mighty and chosen by the gods to be their living counterpart on Earth.

“Dear Venus, may you guide the emperor,” you began, not knowing what to say.

Geta leant forwards and gave a wet kiss to your mound. Then worked lower to lap at your core.

“Guide the emperor to my clitoris. May his tongue swirl around it.”

Geta smiled against you, loving the power he had over you. He focused on your clit, kissing it and sucking it.

“Thank you, Venus. He -uhhh- he just entered a finger inside me. Thank you for knowing what I need.”

Geta caught your eye and held the contact as he manoeuvred a second finger inside you.

“Yes Venus!” You moaned out. “Assist Geta in angling his fingers inside me. The way you always do.”

Caracalla’s heart thumped hard in his chest. He wanted you desperately, yet his brother was selfish and did not allow it. He knew he would be much more generous. If he was with a woman as spectacular as you, he would want to share you with Geta, that’s how much he cared about his brother.

You looked over at Caracalla and spotted a very clear tent in his tunic. Geta saw you break his eye contact to look at him, so hummed on your clit to get your attention, the vibrations made your focus go back onto him.

“Venus, I’m so close to orgasm. Please, don’t let Geta stop. He must continue as he is for my climax,” you cried out.

His fingers went faster in you, and soon your body twitched on the table as you fell apart from Geta’s touch. Your thighs shut around Geta’s head and your gaze fell back on his brother. Caracalla now touched his thigh as he watched you convulse.

Geta removed his toga and let it fall on the stone floor. He spat down onto his dick and gave it a few strokes before lining up with your entrance. He pushed it in slightly, then leaned both of his arms to either side of your head. His head was now directly above yours.

“Look at me,” he instructed. You nodded and he pushed the rest of himself inside you. The sudden fullness made you wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer to lay on your body. Geta nodded against your neck, knowing how the pleasure felt.

“It’s incredible. The way your body is so tight, yet lets me in so easily,” Geta amazed. He wanted to brag in front of his brother, knowing he would never feel you.

Caracalla approached yours and Geta’s entwined bodies. He carefully placed his hand in between your hips and slid it down to your pussy lips. Geta slowed his movements and stopped leaning his weight on you to see what his brother was doing. His fingers spread your labia apart.

“You are neglecting her clit. She is a magnificent woman. She deserves all the pleasure we can give her,” stated Caracalla. He knew that the chances of penetrating you were slim, but he could suck on you.

“She is still sensitive from the orgasm I gave her,” he refuted.

Caracalla shook his head and walked away to the side of the room, not believing how self-centred his brother was being. Pleasure was meant to be shared, yet Geta would rather you lay there bored than let his brother pleasure you.

“She grips me so well,” boasted Geta, continuing his thrusts again. You wrapped your legs around his torso to keep him close to you. You wished he spoke to you and not his brother, but he seemed more intent in sparking jealousy in his brother than passion in you.

You reached up and stroked his cheek, “I need more of you.”

“Of course, my dear. I feel the same,” he agreed.

Geta pulled out of you and turned you around so you leant over the large dining table. You stretched out your arms over the table and he slapped his cock against your hole. You couldn’t distract yourself from Caracalla’s presence. Geta may be used to having sex in front of others, but you were not. You looked at him as Geta pushed his way inside you again, biting your lip as you were stretched apart. It made Caracalla’s breath catch in his throat. He could leave the room, but he wanted to see you. He wanted his brother to finally grant him permission to fuck you.

You felt Geta lean down behind you, his breath tickling the shell of your ear.

“Just like that. You’re always so good. Such a good girl,” he praised, quiet enough for your ears only.

His cock felt magnificent, as though Venus really did use him as a vessel. When he made you feel this good, you wanted to do anything he asked of you. If he wanted to make his brother jealous, you would help him.

“He is hitting all my spots,” you moaned, still looking at the smaller brother.

Caracalla had begun to stroke himself underneath his tunic, using his pre-cum to ease the glide of his fist. Geta’s hands moved your hips to move your body as he thrust at a steady pace. You noticed that Caracalla’s fist now match the same pace as his brother’s hips.

Geta suddenly pulled completely out of you and walked around the edge of the table. Caracalla thought this was finally his moment. His brother had left you, leaving you to finally be railed by him. He was already hard, all he had to do was sink inside you. He started to walk towards you, but Geta quickly returned to his spot behind you before his brother could get near your exposed body. He had picked up a strawberry and bit off a small piece at the tip of it. You thought he would rub it along your spine, so were very shocked when it came into contact with your puckered hole.

“Oh brother, look at this!” Geta exclaimed, calling his brother over.

Caracalla moved to stand next to Geta, and watched on in awe as he rubbed the fruit all over your asshole. This was the ultimate tease for Caracalla. Geta knew how much his brother adored anal. He didn’t care if it was a man or woman’s hole, he would claim it as his.

The shorter brother gasped as your hole tensed up, the sensation of liquid running down your hole feeling very foreign to you.

“Oh brother, please. Do you require me to beg, because I will,” he cried. Caracalla fell to his knees next to his brother’s feet. “I must have her, brother. I must!”

Geta enjoyed watching his brother beg. They shared everything throughout their life. He took beatings from their father in his brother’s place, so he knew he deserved to keep you all to himself.

“Just my tongue. That’s all I’ll use. Just one damn lick!” He pled.

Everyone remained in silence for a few tense moments before Geta’s low voice broke it, “No.”

He then pressed his cock into you again and resumed what he had paused. He grabbed your hair and forced your back to arch.

“Venus wants me to shoot my seed all over your hole,” declared Geta.

You nodded back at him, encouraging him to chase his release, knowing the faster he went, the more intense it would feel. “Please, Emperor.”

You moaned and squealed as he pummelled into you. The strange noises caught Dundus’ attention and he made his way over to you on the table. You swatted the monkey away, hoping it would go back to the meat it was eating prior. Caracalla willed his monkey to stay near to put off his brother, but his pet betrayed him for slices of roast chicken.

“Gods,” Caracalla whimpered as he spilled his cum onto the grey, cold floor after only a minute of jacking off.

Geta followed soon after. He pulled out of you and stroked a few times before letting his cum fall onto your asshole. When he was done, he stood back to look at the mess he had made. He approved at the state he had left you in and went to the table to pick up a goblet of red wine. He was rather exhausted now, and needed to be replenished. You remained where you were bent over the table, catching your own breath.

“Can I clean her up?” Caracalla asked softly. You staying still like that, it was like you were begging him to touch you. His brother had finally finished, and left you wet and ready for him.

Geta walked towards his brother and threw his wine over his face.

“Filthy ape!” He yelled out in frustration. You were his! How many different ways did Geta need to tell his brother this?

Geta gave you your dress and pulled his own toga on again. When you were dressed, he took your hand to lead you out of the room.

“Get a slave to clean all this up,” requested Geta to Caracalla, referring to all the wine and cum left in puddles on the floor.

@babene-e @justasmallbean @1950schick @your-nightmaredoll

[voxina]

JADE has recalled her stint on The X Factor, saying she didn’t know anyone who came away from the show without “some sort of mental health issue”.

The singer-songwriter featured on the talent search programme in 2011 and joined girl group Little Mix when she was 18 years old, an experience she has reflected on in a new interview with The Independent.

The ‘Angel Of My Dreams’ singer admitted that being on The X Factor involved adjusting to “pretty fucked up” things, namely sharing bunk beds with other female contestants, regardless of age.

“Even at 18, I knew there were people who weren’t mentally well in there, keeping everyone up at night,” she said. “I don’t know if there was even security outside the house. It’s scary to think about now, but I was too young to realise that at the time.”

Her comments come after many entertainment world figures have demanded more protections be put in place for young artists following the death of One Direction star Liam Payne, who auditioned for The X Factor during the same series as Thirlwall.

Although she didn’t address Payne’s passing directly, she did mention thinking the series “had to end” after its 2018 conclusion.

“I don’t think that kind of show can exist any more. We’re in a different place now,” she added. “We wouldn’t put someone that’s mentally unwell on a TV screen and laugh at them while they sing terribly. The concept of a joke act on a show is just cruel.”

She said the concept was “all very Roman empire” while joking that it was the “best training ever” for her to enter the music industry. On a more sombre note, she continued: “I don’t know anyone that’s come off that show and not had some sort of mental health issue on the back of it.”

Thirwall also admitted to feeling “conflicted” about criticising the show. “It changed my life,” she explained. “I was from a very normal working-class family up north, I had tried sending demos in to labels, I’d gigged all over, I was doing everything I could to make it, and I needed a show like that to give me a chance.”

She continued to say that she’d guess “five per cent of the people that went on there have come out of it not unscathed, but having survived; the other 95 per cent have suffered in silence.”

Reflecting on how people readjust to normal life after participating in something like The X Factor, she said: “How do you go from being on that show to back to your nine-to-five? How do you get signed to the label, think you’ve made it, and then once your song doesn’t hit the Top 10, you’re just dropped? It’s so savage, this machine that we’re a part of. Even back then, we knew how lucky we were every day that we were still signed.”

[Full article]

[thrashkink-coven]

I always find this conversation interesting as a demonolater who is mostly eclectic and not loyal to any traditional practice, especially as a devotee of Lucifer.

Lucifer has to be one of the most laid back deities ever. He is very okay (actually encourages) with me just chilling with him, not doing anything all that important or outright worshipping, just enjoying eachother’s company. If worship is a display of love, then connecting to him through my love language, quality time, is a display of worship, even if not literally.

But at the same time, Lucifer is still my Patron and authority. There is a line and he’s made me very aware of it. I might very very very jokingly call him an asshole or say fuck you, and in some contexts that might fly just fine. We tease each other, he calls me a gremblin and I call him a stalker. It doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.

But at other times, especially during serious settings like rituals or when we’re working with other spirits, oh absolutely not.

When I’m acting like a brat and tell him to fuck off, he is very quick to remind me who exactly I am talking to. I’m a human, I make mistakes, I express myself through my words, Lucifer knows that. And he isn’t super anal about me constantly treating him like royalty, but talking to him like he’s just another person and not my God is unacceptable. Lucifer is my friend, sure. But he’s also so much more than that.

I have a much more casual relationship with Lucifer than I do with Aphrodite, so I tend to use more formal language with her. But when I call Ishtar or Aphrodite “that bitch” she knows what I mean to say. She is that bitch. She slays the house down. She’s the all powerful Queen of Heaven, and she is that bitch.

It’s a term of endearment and reverence using language that is common in the queer community. She understands that, and she agrees, she is in fact, that bitch.

That is worlds different from me saying “ugh omg, you’re such a bitch”, even jokingly. To even imply that my Goddess is something negative or lesser than, even jokingly, is unacceptable. Remember that words themselves are energy, literally. The words you use when referring to your deity is in itself a type of offering. Don’t give shitty offerings.

There is no rule book on deity work or paganism in general. No one can definitely say “here’s a list of things you cannot call your deities” or “here’s a list of things you should call them”. Your deities will communicate that to you in whatever way they choose.

But for beginners who just might not know any better, consider how your teacher or employer would react if you randomly called them a bitch. A very stern conversation would probably be had. Even if you have a really friendly relationship with your favourite teacher, it’s still inappropriate to say “Ayo bitch, come over here and mark my paper”

If you just got hired at your new job, it would be very inappropriate to greet your new boss with “hey asshole!”

It really all boils down to basic common sense guys.

the gods are not your besties or your friends or your babygirls, they are GODS. their nature is transcendant and immaterial. they deserve love, reverence and worship. they are good, and pure, and just, but they are not your imaginary friends you can just chill or play games with.

[pencil-n-pen]

SPILL YOUR GUTS

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

practice boyfriend! eddie x fem! reader

summary: eddie’s your practice boyfriend. you’re positive he’s upset at you and you’re waiting for him to get mad. however, he has a different response in mind.

cw: references/allusions to past child abuse but extremely vague, references/allusions to bad relationships (also pretty vague), reader acts on a learned response and assumes the worst about Eddie, anxiety

tags/tropes: angst, hurt/comfort (my brand!) sappy sappy romantic idiots, they kiss and figure their mess out at the end

a/n: this came to me in a vision

summary makes this sound smutty but i promise it’s not. this accidentally became disgustingly romantic. read at your own risk :)

࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

You’re positive Eddie’s mad at you.

Okay. Maybe positive is a strong word. But still.

You’ve only been fake/pretend/practice dating Eddie for about two weeks now. He’s the one who approached you with the offer— when you were in the Upside Down together, you’d made an off-hand comment about how you might die without ever having a real boyfriend- not one that mattered, anyway. It’s always kind of been a sore spot for you for a good portion of your life. Growing up, you didn’t really have the best relationship with your dad (Robin likes to call that “The understatement of the year, and we almost died.”) and out of the incredibly small handful of guys you’ve gone out with, none stuck around longer than a month and all ended in such equally, specifically, and uniquely horrific ways, you finally came to the conclusion you had to be fucking something up. What are the chances of all them ended so completely horribly?

After you all had decidedly not died in the Upside Down, Eddie approached you with an offer: pretend date him. You’re popular and well known enough that it’ll help get people off his back about the whole Chrissy/murders thing —even though he’s been absolved of all charges, the people of Hawkins hold grudges— and in exchange, you get a trial run of a relationship that won’t end unless you both agree too— you get to figure out what you’re doing wrong.

You feel bad about it, because even though you spend so much time together, you feel like a nervous wreck. All. The. Time.

You’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop— waiting for him to tell you that you’re too weird, that you’re not considerate enough, that you’re selfish, or that you talk too much.

But he never says any of it. All he ever tells you is the good things. He tells you how sympathetic you are, how kind you are, how good you are at remembering little details that matter. He tells you that you’re a good kisser.

(Yeah. Your first kiss, even after those failed relationships, ended up being with Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. You’re not quite sure you’ll ever forget how you felt when his lips —just a little cracked, but not rough— met yours; when his hair tickled your face and you could faintly smell the cigarette smoke that stubbornly clings to all of his clothes, no matter how many times he washes them. You didn’t tell him he was your first. That’s something you decided you couldn’t bear to share.

You kind of have a feeling he knows anyway, though.)

It all sets you on edge. You’re under no reassurance that you’re perfect. You’re currently questioning if you’re tolerable, from a romantic standpoint.

You know how you are. You’re clinging and you drink up reassurance like a dying man in the desert. You linger in his casual touches like it’s the first and last time you’ll ever feel them. You know you’re a lot. You know. You know that guys in a relationship don’t want ‘a lot’, they want a pretty thing to hang off their arm and laugh at what they say.

But you just… can’t.

You tried, and you tried, and you tried. But you always ended up being too much, or it didn’t work out for some other reason. You want more. You want to feel safe, and happy, and cherished and loved and all those things that only happen in the movies.

The ironic part of all of this is that when you first started setting out terms for your arrangement, Eddie had told you flat out: “This will only work if you are completely and one-hundred percent yourself. You gotta lay it all on me, angel.”

And so you had, and now you regret it because he’s upset about something.

You’d come over to his trailer at his request to ‘hang out’ while he went over DND stuff for his next campaign. Eddie does this a lot— he calls them ‘Neutral Dates’ where you’re not really doing anything in particular- most of the time, you’re both doing seperate things, but still just being in each other’s presence.

It’s nice. The majority of your friend circle consists of everyone involved with the Upside Down and that entire mess. You two are no Steve and Robin (you’re convinced those two have the kind of bond no one can replicate or break. Like the kind of bond stray cats get and then they have to be adopted together) but it’s still nice. To just be with someone.

Even if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

It’s not always eggshells. Sometimes, for a a few moments, you forget. You forget it’s all pretend. You forget he’s just a friend helping a friend fulfill a goal. That’s all.

You’ve almost forgotten just now, too— you’re too concerned about what you might’ve done.

He’s not acting angry, per-se, but he’s definitely upset. You tend to pick up on this kind of thing: small changes in someone’s personality or body language. Most of the time it’s not a conscious habit.

Most of the time.

Right now, he’s run his hands through his hair about a million times. It’s become a frizzy mess behind him, and when you’d made an offhand joke about it —an attempt to lighten the mood— all he’d done was scowl. Not at you, really, but the message was there. You’d snapped your jaw shut so fast you’re pretty sure he heard your teeth click.

After that he’d frustratedly made tea for the both of you, which consisted of opening the cupboards faster than he usually did, closing them slightly louder than he usually does, and drumming his fingers impatiently on the stove-top while he waited for the kettle to boil.

All of this you observed from the corner of your eye while ‘reading’ on the couch.

And if all of that wasn’t bad enough, when you’d finally mustered up the courage to speak again, a little joke about a part in the book you were reading, all he’d said was a flat:

“That’s great, babe.”

You’re starting to get antsy. Nervous. Maybe you should go? Unless he gets upset at you leaving. That would be bad. But he’s clearly upset with you being here, so maybe you should go.

While you’re debating the pros and cons of leaving, you try to remain as still and silent as possible. No need to upset him anymore by moving too much or being too loud.

You flip a page in the book you’re no longer reading (he might notice you’re not paying attention to it anymore) and decide to test the waters again.

“The author just spelled restaurant wrong. That’s the third spelling mistake I’ve caught in this book.”

“Hmm.”

Okay. So that was worse. Talking to him is out of the question, then. It must be something you did, to warrant this kind of reaction.

You wrack your brain, trying to think of anything you could’ve done in recent hours to make him upset, but you can’t think of anything.

You glance slightly to the right— not far enough that he’ll see you looking at him, but far enough to get a better look at him in your peripheral. He’s glaring down at his campaign notebook. Shit, he looks so angry.

Unbidden, tears begin to well in your eyes and you try to shift, trying to angle yourself away from him enough that he can’t see the tears in your eyes.

But your hand shifts, knocking into his leg.

Fuck. “Sorry!”

You yank you arm back as if burned, jolting back on the couch so you’re in no danger of touching him. “I’m sorry!”

He sits up, immediately snapping to attention at the desperation coloring your voice. “Woah woah, hey. Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

You take a steadying breath. “Did I do something wrong?”

He blinks blankly at you. Oh shit, you’re supposed to know that you’ve done something wrong.

“I mean,” You hurry to correct, “I know I— Can you tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it?”

Understanding floods his features and you brace yourself, ready for the reprimand.

“Can I touch you?”

Now it’s your turn to stare with confusion. You nod once, briefly thinking about how weird it is to ask for permission first.

He sits up on the couch, facing you with his legs crossed, the couch springs squeaking loudly at his movement. You resist the urge to wince. He reaches out with a slow hand, taking the hand that’s still clenched, held away from him and up near your chest.

He stares down at your hand, holding it with his left hand and tracing delicate shapes on it with his right. His ringed fingers drag lines around your knuckles and veins, lingering occasionally over the odd, old scar.

“How long did you think I was upset with you?”

Your heart is racing, muscles tensed and ready to bolt. “Um. A few hours? Maybe?”

You’re hyper-aware of the grip he has on your hand, and how quickly and easy it could become crushing.

It doesn’t.

“Bug,” He says slowly after a moment. At first he used to use pet names as a joke— it was something you’d laugh at, between the two of you, since the relationship wasn’t real.

But recently, he’s been saying them with a different inflection in his tone. A little less teasing, a lot more fond.

“Have you spent the past few hours afraid that I was mad at you?”

He sounds… sad. Which is confusing. It doesn’t— he was. He was.

“But you were,” You say, suddenly unsure about anything and everything. “You were upset.”

“I was upset because I couldn’t work this part of the campaign out, and i’m dramatic. I was never mad at you, honey. I was never mad at you.”

You frown, gears turning in your head. “When I made that joke about your hair, you glared at me. And then when I tried to talk to you, you were upset. You didn’t want to talk.”

“I was jokingly glaring at you, I’m so sorry you thought I was serious. I wasn’t, I promise. I didn’t mean to be dismissive, I was really focusing on writing.”

You’re both silent for a moment. A beat too long. You want to squirm in the unwelcome space the silence has created.

“What did you think I was going to do?”

That is a loaded question.

“I don’t know,” You pick at a loose thread on the couch cushion. “I don’t— I don’t know. That’s the problem. You don’t yell at me, or get angry, or tell me when i’ve made you upset. I don’t know what you’ll do.”

He makes a wounded noise in his throat.

“I know you get angry,” You bulldoze on, “I’ve seen it. You’re so… loud, in everything you do. I know you get angry. But you never get that same kind of loud angry at me and I don’t know what to do because that means that I upset you and you don’t tell me about it and then I don’t know how to fix it. I have to fix it, Eddie.”

His eyes, deep and brown, search your face. He reaches up a hand, painfully slow, to cup your face. Your eyelids flutter shut, and you tip your head to the side, leaning into the job.

“I’m gonna tell you something, Bug. Are you listening?” He waits for you to hum in confirmation before continuing. “You’re not responsible for my moods. Or anyone else’s for that matter. That’s not your job. You don’t have to fix it.”

He reaches his second hand up to cup the other side of your face. “You know why I don’t get angry at you? Not all loud and dramatic like that? Because I’ve seen how you react when people do. And I never, ever want to be the reason you get that look in your eye. I never want to make you afraid. I never want you to believe, with proof and confidence, that I’ve grown sick of you.”

You open your eyes, eyes darting across the planes of his face. Searching for even the smallest hint, the smallest giveaway that he might be lying.

You can’t find any. In its place, you find eyes, shining with pure determination. You find lips parted ever so slightly, a sad-sort of smile being etched into being. You find two hands on your face, thumbs delicately sweeping across the skin of your under-eye, of your cheekbone. Smoothing away the steady tears that had begun falling, wiping away the hot trails they leave on your face.

And you realize all at once that love isn’t like the movies. It isn’t picture-perfect kisses. It isn’t ball gowns and dresses and kisses in the rain. It isn’t like the love you thought you were supposed to have: empty and hollow; a life of hanging off of arms and praying your next slip-up didn’t cost you your relationship.

It was this.

It was just being. Just being and knowing the other person is there for just that— for you. It was not raising your voice. It was carrying extra hair-ties. It was making two cups of coffee. It was steeping tea for an extra couple of minutes, just the way he liked it. It was playing your favorite music in the car, and looking over at each other during the bridge, belting the lyrics with the same, toothy-smile. So full and so happy you just keep screaming the lyrics, because you’re filled with so much you don’t know where to put it all.

Your tears begin to fall in earnest now. Your heart is thudding in your chest, but for a different reason now. You’re struck with the need to convey all of this to him— to tell him you understand, you know, you feel the same.

“These hair ties,” You shove your wrist up to his eye-line. “They’re for you. Because you always forget your own. And— and I steep the tea for a few extra minutes, because you like your tea strong, and you didn’t just find that tape in your van, I bought it ‘cause I know you lost the old one in the Upside Down, ‘cause it felt out of your pocket.”

You’re babbling, nearly choking on your tears and your words, rushing them all out of your mouth in an aching wish to be understood, in this very moment.

“I know,” He says, voice a little hysteric and eyes a little too bright. His lip wobbles. He presses your face tighter in his hands. “I know. I know. I see you. I see you.”

You stay like that for a little while. At some point, your hands find his wrists, and then you’re just two fools, smiling like idiots with tears streaming down your faces, staring into each others eyes.

Eventually, Eddie clears his throat. “The next time you think I’m upset at you, you tell me, okay? You can ask. You can ask me and I pinky promise I won’t get mad.”

You giggle wetly. “Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear,” He says, taking his left hand away from your face to hold up his pinky. You intertwine yours and his together, the both of you laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

He gets quiet for a moment; removes his hands from your face and instead clasps, your hands together, resting in your lap.

“You know why I never tell you when you’re being a bad practice girlfriend?” He says, his voice low and soft.

“How come?”

He smiles, full and good. “Because you’re not. You’re so sweet and kind and loving. And if you’d let me, I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

You furrow your brows. “The real kind? The I-love-you kind?”

Your face flushes over the words ‘I love you.’

“I’ve always kissed you for real,” He says, words laden with fondness. “Ever since the day we met and you slapped the shit out of me for being stupid. I’ve been hopelessly obsessed ever since. I’ve just been waiting for you to notice.”

You suck in a breath. “So all of this— the, the dates and the hanging out and the kissing— that’s all been real?”

“Every last bit.”

“Then in that case,” You say, squeezing his hands. “I would very much like you to kiss me.”

He leans in, slotting your lips together and everything just clicks. Like this is where you’re meant to be. Maybe it’s puppy love. Maybe it’s not.

All you know is that Eddie Munson is kissing you for real, and he always has been. You couldn’t ask for anything better.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[sugarikiz]

— 𝑖𝑖. TOO LATE TO SAY SORRY

𝑖n which . . . your boyfriend messed up really bad , and he has to make up with you somehow.

─── ♡ 𝓅airing . . . bf! heeseung x 𝑓. reader >< 𝓌arnings . . . angst + est. relationship + crying + kissing . 𝓌c 0.63k .

✦

注記 ─── happy first hee fic !! first time writing for him, and it just had to be angst…

NOT PROOFREAD, SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS

lee heeseung; the love of your life. the constant back hugs and the never-relenting compliments all felt like a dream to you. the way he loved you was so much more special other person ever had before, and you felt so happy that you found someone like him in your life.

today, the constant bickering and tension you had between the two of you was different than any kind of disagreement you had ever had. it slowly escalated, both of your tempers rising till your known to be sweet boyfriend lashed out on you.

“you never do anything right, you act like a little child and you never actually try to see how i feel!”

the second those words left heeseung’s mouth, you felt your world shatter. is that really how he felt after all these years of being together?

the moment the man realised what he said, he instantly started regretting it, beating himself up inside. you could have seen the guilt seep into his eyes if you tried, but the way your vision hazed up didn’t let you.

“baby, I-” you shook your head, stopping him from speaking any more. after a few moments of collecting yourself — tears still visible in the corners of your eyes and on the apples of your cheeks — you spoke.

“don’t. don’t apologise for saying what you mean, heeseung.” heeseung? this was the first time in years you ever called him that; it was always ‘hee’ or ‘seungie’ or ‘baby’ or something of the sorts.

never in his two years of dating you had you called him that, so when it fell off your lips, he knew he’d messed up. big time.

you turned on your heel, walking away into your shared bedroom. he could hear the faint click of a lock and small sobs from the other side, but he knew that he couldn’t get you to talk to him, or even get you to open the door before you calmed down a bit.

── .✦

after about a half hour, he couldn’t take it anymore. he had to at least try to get you to unlock the door.

“y/n?” he knocked softly on the door, his tone soft; knowing how sensitive you could be to words. he knew he made a mistake by saying what he did, and he wanted you to know that too.

he heard a small sniffle come from the other end of the door, and sounds of shuffling footsteps. he breathed out a small sigh of relief when he heard your voice, but not so much at your words “what do you want?” you ask, your tone hurt.

he let out a small sigh, preparing himself for what he was about to say. “look, baby, im so sorry for what I said. I didn’t know what I was saying in my frustration, and i took it out on you.” he looked up when he heard the lock click and the door swing open slightly.

you could hear the guilt and remorse for what he said in his voice, and it melted you. it was taking all you had in you not to just kiss the pout off his lips, but you tried to hold onto your urges for a moment.

“you know you hurt me, right?”

he nodded, finally daring to meet your gaze. that was it, that was your breaking point. the way his bambi eyes were a bit bigger and the way his lips contracted into a small pout we’re just too cute for you to not kiss him then and there.

you pulled him towards you by wrapping your arms around his neck and crashed your lips onto his, all your anger and resentment towards him gone in a matter of seconds.

he was a bit taken aback, but still melted into the kiss quickly, kissing you back with the same passion you gave him.

he pulled away after a moment, a smirk forming on his lips. “still mad?”

“hmm, I think one more kiss should do the trick” you giggled, pulling him in again…

[loverboysturn]

✮⋆˙ newboy!matt has his after school daily debrief with his brothers at the dinner table

note: hehe i tried to add this into a blurb for newboy!matt but it just didn't work including it so i cut it but i thought it was kinda cute and still wanted to share this conversation between them so enjoy as a drabble / short blurb :)

find all writings for newboy!matt here and everything else for him here !

matt dropped his backpack by the door and slid into the usual seat at the dinner table, it was just the three of them tonight, their parents were working late again, but he was glad about that, he knew they were still angry with him for getting kicked out of his old school, and no matter how much he tried to brush it off, he could feel it whenever they looked at him, without them there, tonight he could breathe a little easier, not having to pretend like everything was fine.

"so, how was it today, new boy?" chris asks jokingly, leaning forward on his chair a little.

"same as every other day i've been there" matt mumbles back, pushing the pasta around on his plate.

nick glances up from opposite matt, looking up from his phone. "same as? come on, it's a new school, you have to be doing something different to the shit we're doing."

matt shrugs, trying to act uninterested. "nothing much to say, i'm just keeping my head down, trying to stay out of trouble this time."

chris raises an eyebrow at his brother. "out of trouble, huh? for someone who has just transferred, that's pretty fuckin’ boring kid. i spent years at our school keeping you out of trouble.”

matt sighs, wishing they’d drop it. “yeah and i spent years getting you into it, nothing exciting happens when you’re the new kid.”

he could feel his brothers still watching, waiting for them to say something else, anything else.

chris, sensing the silence as his que, his voice casual but matt knew from the tone that he had been dying to ask, “so, no girls at the new school, huh?”

matt’s fingers tightened around his fork, he didn’t feel like getting into it but he knew chris wouldn’t let this one go, he leaned in again, that annoying smirk plastered on his face. “you’re telling me in a whole school full of girls, there’s not one worth your time?”

matt’s eyes flicked up briefly, debating whether to shut it down now or not. “there’s one girl, she’s in my english class.”

the room went quiet for a second, chris raised an eyebrow, as if the mention of you was all the invitation he needed, but matt wasn’t going to feed into chris’s excitement over this, especially not tonight.

“she’s part of the popular crowd” matt adds, keeping his tone flat.

chris was looking at him now, that familiar grin smacked on his face. “oh, is she now? what’s the story?”

matt ignored him, he just shoved a mouthful of pasta in his mouth, keeping his eyes focused on his plate, because the truth was there was no story, there wasn’t supposed to be a story and there wasn’t going to be a story. matt didn’t want there to be a story.

nick chimed in, adding fuel to the fire. “is she pretty? have you got a thing for her?”

matt shot him a look, letting him know he was over this, “yes, she’s pretty, and no, i don’t have a thing for her.”

chris didn’t look convinced but matt didn’t care, whatever thoughts had crossed his mind, whatever little interactions with you had lingered in his thoughts, didn’t matter.

“look, i love you guys, but don’t get any ideas.” matt mutters, “there’s no romance with me and anyone at this new fuckin’ school, let’s drop it and move the conversation on now.”

with that, he shoved another bite of pasta in his mouth, shutting the conversation down for good.

[marie-swriting]

Here For You - Emily Prentiss

Masterlist

Summary : Emily claims she doing fine after everything she's been through but you know the truth and you let her know you're here for her.

Warnings : based on 7x12, mention of Doyle and Emily dying, Emily struggling, angst, hurt/comfort.

Word count : 1.2k

French version

Song inspiration : Let Me by Jade LeMac

Comfortably in Morpheus’ arms, you turn around and unconsciously start searching for Emily’s arms without any success. With difficulty, you open one eye and find an empty spot next to you, lightly illuminated by the corridor light. Not knowing where your girlfriend is, you quickly get out of bed. Since she came back from the dead, Emily acts differently which is understandable, but it also means you’re even more stressed than before. Emily has always been secretive, now it’s just worse. You can’t decipher her anymore and you fear the worst. You trot around, following the light and you find Emily in the kitchen, her back facing you. You hear sniffing as soon as you call her name.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Emily says, faking a smile.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I was just thirsty.”

“Did you have another nightmare?” you ask her, worried.

“No, it’s been two weeks since my last one as you know.”

“You know, you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you still have some, especially after what you’ve been through.”

“Please, don’t start,” she sharply retorts. “I’m already seeing my therapist tomorrow, it’s enough… Sorry, I didn’t mean to be harsh.” She then adds with a softer tone.

“It’s okay.”

“I was just thirsty.” Emily affirms, putting her glass in the sink though you can see right through her. “I’m fine, I swear. Let’s go to sleep.”

Without replying, you take her hand she’s holding out and you walk back to your shared room. As you lay in bed, Emily gets closer to you and puts her head on your chest. It’s a habit she has had since she came back. Emily needs to hear your heartbeats to make sure she isn’t alone. Emily’s muscles relax when you start stroking her hair. The second Emily’s head gets heavier, you finally allow yourself to fall asleep, holding her close to you as if she’d disappear in the next second.

Yet, this is what happens the next morning. Emily left earlier because she has therapy before going on a case. You sigh, noticing her absence, though you know it’s for the best. It reassures you to know Emily is talking to a professional after everything that’s happened, you just wished she would have said goodbye before leaving.

You try to regain control of your emotions during work. You have to take care of a class of thirty seven-year-old students, you have to be focused. However, it doesn’t mean you don’t check your phone at every occasion, hoping to see a text from Emily.

It’s at the end of the day, after you finished eating, that your girlfriend finally calls you and without wasting a second, you pick up the phone. 

“Hey, Em’, how are you? Is the case complicated?”

“Always a bit at the beginning, but we have some leads. What about you? How was your day?”

“Oh, you know, I had to explain the same thing fifteen times, a kid sneezed on my sweatshirt and another one said I was pretty even if I was old. Nothing new.” you say lightly while Emily laughs.

“Another eventful day.”

“How did it go with your therapist?”

“She said everything was alright, she cleared me for work.” she informs you after taking a breath.

“Good. I mean, if it’s the truth.” you add and you can feel Emily rolling her eyes. “I know you, Em’, I know how you struggle to admit it to me when you have a nightmare so I guess it’s harder for you to tell your therapist.”

“It doesn’t affect my job, even Hotch said so.”

“I’m not saying otherwise…” you start carefully, “Look, I know I’d never be able to understand what you went through but I know one doesn't get over this that quickly. You’re allowed to not be okay, to struggle to move on.”

“I’m getting my life back.” she retorts.

“I know and I’m not saying you don’t, however Emily, you only worry about how Derek, Penelope, Spencer and everyone else around you feels since you came back but you don’t worry about the most important person. You. And I’m here for you, to support you. I’m not saying I’ll always have the right words, nonetheless I’ll do my best. You can come to me when you’re not okay.”

“I’m okay.” Emily repeats with a neutral tone.

“Your shrink might believe you when you say it but I know the truth. Emily, stop pushing away the people who love you. Stop pushing me away. You don’t have to go through this alone, especially when you can’t ignore what happened. Let me be here for you.”

Emily stays silent, only her breathing breaks the silence. You hear another voice coming from her end though can’t make out what they’re saying then Emily clears her throat.

“I have to go. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Emily hangs up and you sigh with tears in your eyes. You don’t know if what you said will make Emily react, you hope it will. You can’t handle this situation anymore. You know she needs support but how can you do it when she doesn’t ask for it? You don’t like this feeling of powerlessness. You wish you could take all of her scars so she could finally live freely. 

Throughout the case, Emily keeps her distance. She only sends you a text once a day to say she loves you, a habit you’ve had since the beginning of your relationship. Considering her risky job, you never stay a day without saying it to each other, more particularly since Doyle happened. However, when you reply to her message and you try to create a conversation, she quickly cuts it off. 

The more the days go by and the more worried you are for Emily. Something is wrong, you’re sure about it. You wish you could check on her, however you don’t want to be too overbearing. If you keep insisting you might do the opposite of what you want by creating an anxious atmosphere for Emily; therefore, you try to stay at a good distance, close enough to support her but far enough so she doesn’t push you away. 

As a way to distract yourself, you put all your energy on your work, redoing your lessons, correcting exercises. It only works for so long, your mind quickly finds a way to make you think about Emily.

One evening, about a week after Emily left, you’re at the kitchen table, working and eating when you hear the door opening and a bag loudly falling on the ground. Without waiting, you put down your fork and go toward the entrance rapidly. There, you find Emily with sad eyes. You’re about to talk though she beats you to it.

“I’m not okay.” she admits with a trembling voice.

And in a split second, she burst into tears. You run to her and hold her against you, trying to soothe her. You can tell her legs aren’t supporting her anymore, so you make Emily sit down on the floor while keeping her close. You tenderly stroke her hair and whisper sweet nothings. Emily’s tears run down her cheeks more and more while instinctively she puts her ear against your chest and listens to your heartbeats. In your arms, Emily finally allows herself to let go of all her emotions and to face all the pain she went through. You both know it’ll take time for Emily to heal but you’ll make sure to be here for her and to support her every step of the way.

Masterlist

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

Kill my time // Quinn Hughes

In a city full of lonely people, I just want you all to myself

summary: birthday celebrations causing jealousy while struggling to turn a certain age

warnings: drinking, clubbing, smut (18+)

── ∘◦ ⛤ ◦∘ ──

“I can’t believe I’m going to a bar like I’m in my early twenties again.”

I smoothed my dress down, picking apart everything wrong with me as I looked in the mirror. Turning thirty felt like my world was about to collapse, and what made it worse was knowing my boyfriend was only turning twenty five just two days after me.

“Not to mention with a bunch of guys who are twenty one.” My roommate added as she fixed us a couple of drinks. I saw her bring out a bottle of tequila, knowing I was going to be in for a long night.

“Ugh, what did I get myself into?”

“Girl, it’s fine! Quinn doesn’t care about your age so why should you?” She asks, passing me whatever concoction she made. A took a small sip, realizing it was tequila and soda…more like tequila with a splash of soda.

Deep down I knew she was right, because when I told Quinn I was older than him it didn’t phase him at all, I completely expected him to run. He told me the idea of being with someone older was a big turn on for him, something he didn’t discover until he met me. As for me, it didn’t matter what age the men were I dated, they were all extremely immature. I knew it was a risk with Quinn but he definitely didn’t act like men his age. After all he was the captain of an NHL team, he had to have a strong head on his shoulders.

An hour later I was making my way through a busy drunken crowd, holding onto Quinn’s hand for dear life. For whatever reason, his teammates chose this club to celebrate his birthday tonight. Wouldn’t have been my first choice, and I don’t think Quinn was thrilled on it either but he was too quiet to say anything. We always made the best of a bad situation and I knew tonight wouldn’t be any different. House music and lights were bouncing off the walls, making it hard to focus on where we were going. We finally got into our booth and a heavy sigh left me, I definitely wasn’t drunk enough for this.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Quinn’s velvet voice echoed in my ear, calming my nerves. His eyes were bright green, almost enchanting as they peered into mine. My face grew hot, wondering how it was humanly possible for someone to be this gorgeous.

“Yeah it’s just been a while.” I wasn’t lying either. I spent most of my time in breweries with my friends since most of us were over going to clubs. Quinn likes to tell me he doesn’t like going out, but give him a few drinks and he makes a liar out of himself.

He pulled me closer to him, so close I could feel his stubble on my neck. “I won’t leave your side at all, I promise.”

“Okay.” I nodded before he gently brushed his lips over mine. I got lost in our own little world, the music melted away and I forgot we were in the middle of a busy club surrounded by strangers.

“Let’s celebrate, it’s your birthday after all.”

I rolled my eyes, “it’s also yours in two days.”

“Yeah, but …” his words trail off as he runs the pad of his thumb over my lip, “today brought me you.”

“How does it feel to be with a thirty year old?” The words falling last my lips causing my eyes to roll again. That number just didn’t sit right with me. “I’m officially an old lady.”

“Thirty has never looked better.” He mused, his hand running up my hip and pressing me closer to him. I pulled him into another kiss, his cologne hit me like a tidal wave causing butterflies in my stomach. His hand ran up my neck and gripped me tighter while his tongue begged to enter my mouth. We stayed like that, blissfully unaware of reality until his teammates came over with trays of various shots.

“Okay lover boy that’s enough. Let’s get you drunk.”

One thing about partying with hockey players is all of them have no limits when it comes to spending. I had to finally stop accepting every shot they brought around after the room began to spin. Best part of the night though was that the Devils were in town, so Jack and Luke, Quinn’s brothers were here to celebrate with everyone. This was only my second time meeting them but they were extremely welcoming and treated me like I was their sister. Jack at one point asked me to go dance with him and I couldn’t help but say yes.

“So how does it feel to be thirty?” Jack yelled into my ear as we danced to one of my favourite John Summit songs.

“Terrible. I’m almost a decade older than you!”

“You make thirty look so good though.” He smirks as Luke came behind me and picked me up, causing me to scream at him to put me down. As much as I fought he kept me over his shoulder.

“I just want you to know we fucking love you and you make my brother so happy.” Luke added as he finally put me down, the room was still spinning so I had to brace myself against him to make it stop.

“Thanks buddy.” I jumped a little, feeling Quinn’s hand on my back. His face was flushed, telling me he was taking shots without me.

“Can I have my girlfriend back now?”

“Sorry bro!” Luke kissed the top of my head before him and Jack ran off to grab more drinks.

“You okay?” I asked Quinn as I turned to him, he smelt like whiskey and honey as he brought his lips to my neck.

“I will be.” He mumbles, burrowing his face into my neck. “I’m glad my brothers like you, but you’re my girlfriend. Not theirs.”

“Do you think they’re gonna steal me?” I clasped my mouth, trying to hold in my laughter because I know he was being serious. It was downright adorable.

“Maybe.”

“But I’m yours” I assured him, pressing closer to his body. My hands teaching behind his neck, slipping stands of his hair between my fingers. “No one will ever steal me from you.”

“Prove it.” He replied with such confidence, not taking his eyes off my lips. His hands reached up to my hips, pressing me even closer to him. I gasped as I felt his erection brush up against my leg, “come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Trust me.” He mumbled, his eyes glazed with desire and whatever was in his system. I grabbed his hand, not knowing where he was taking me.

Quinn guided me into a private bathroom and locked the door. His hand brushed gently over my chest, hooking his finger under the strap of my dress. I watched him with intent, my heart pounding so fast I was surprised he didn’t feel it.

“You belong to me.” He whispered, slowly bringing me closer to him. My hands braced onto his chest as he captured my mouth into a kiss that started off sweet but grew sloppy.

“Let’s not wait then, birthday boy.”

He smirked so devilishly that I felt something more than butterflies in my stomach. Our kisses were met with biting of lower lips and Quinn grabbed my dress so tight I thought it was going to split. I wasted no time and began to unbutton his pants, dropping to my knees in the process. His dick sprung out of his boxers, dripping with pre-cum as my eyes widened.

“Stick your tongue out baby.”

My exposed tongue was met with his tip as he gently circled over my taste buds. I could taste him already, it was making my mouth salivate and run down my chin.

“Such a good girl.” He breathed as his free hand tugged on my hair. “Open your mouth for me.”

I did as I was told and Quinn slowly slid his erection into my mouth, inch by inch until his tip hit the back of my throat. He bit his lip as I began to slide my mouth up and down, his grip on my hair getting tighter.

“Fuck, baby this feels so good.” He deeply moaned, making me feel it in the back of my throat. “Such a good girl taking my whole dick in that pretty little mouth of yours.”

I could tell he was getting close with how laboured his breathing became. I removed my mouth from him and began to lick his tip that was glistening with my spit. He looked down at me with pleading eyes, as if me mouth fucking him was the only thing keeping him alive.

“Come in my mouth Quinn, I know what you want to.”

“Not yet.” His voice sounded so husky as he motioned for me to stand up. I wiped my mouth, taking a long look at him. “Your turn birthday girl.”

I couldn’t help but giggle as he picked me up and sat me on the bathroom counter. My back rested against the mirror as he spread my legs, situating himself between them. When our eyes met my heart felt like it was going to explode, I’ve never seen him like this before.

“How bad do you need me right now?” He asked, slowly taking my lip between his teeth again.

“I need you so fucking badly.”

He makes his home between my thighs and begins to tease me with his tip. I regretted wearing underwear tonight but feeling his pre cum soak the lace was the sweetest form of torture, and he knew it.


“Tell me again…how bad do you need me?” I couldn’t get a word out. His laugh was dark as he fluttered his somber eyes at me, “use your words sweetheart, what do you want for your birthday?”

“I want you.”

“That’s a good start.” He muses, applying pressure on my thighs with his thumbs, “where do you want me?”

No words were leaving me as I gasped for air. Quinn began to run his mouth over my jaw, down to my collarbone, nipping slightly at the skin. I grabbed his hand and guided it between my thighs, his thumb instantly pressing onto my underwear.

“Right there?” He asks, slowly moving my underwear to the side. A small gasp in satisfaction left him as he felt how soaked I was for him. I just nodded, whimpering already from his touch. “Tell me how much you wish this was my dick instead?”

“Quinn, I need you please … I’m yours.”

“That’s my girl.” He replied so proudly, pushing his tip inside of me slowly. His head falls back once he’s fully inside me and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. “Fuck you feel so good, so fucking good.”

Quinn started off slowly, teasing my clit simultaneously with each stroke. He leaned into my ear, continuously praising me as his strokes became faster and harder. Sweat rolled down me as the building started up in my stomach, that familiar flutter began to take over and I knew I was done for. My nails dug into his back as he sinks his teeth into my shoulder as my orgasm left my body.

“Fuck I’m gonna -“

It only took a few seconds before he spilled into me. His hands gently found my face, guiding me to look at him. My legs were still shaking as he kissed me so softly. I was in a complete haze as we broke apart, that one unruly strand of hair fell in front of his face as he studied me. He was so beautiful, there were no other words to describe him.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He mused, gently kissing all the tattoos on my arm. Funny thing,

I never thought he’d go for a girl with a full sleeve and dark hair like me. He struck me as someone who went for blonde Instagram models but, once again he proved me wrong.

“You definitely just gave me the best birthday present ever.” I lightly laughed.

He titled his head to the side, cupping my cheek, “I don’t think anything will be beat the gift you gave me.”

“What’s that?”

“You.”

[multiheadcanons]

MERCS AND ANGER

scout: explosive like a firecracker. kinda boring from a distance but a danger in your hands. you really don’t want to be the guy he’s mad at, and probably not like a good friend of the guy either. otherwise the absolute grudge is really funny because he’s so creatively aggressive with how he insults people. and he doesn’t let shit go. it takes him a good long while before he’s ready to drop a feud. however, firecrackers, if you’re fast enough and ballsy enough, can be put out. you’ve maybe got a minute to take back what you say and all will be just fine. he might be annoyed with you for a couple of days, but you can bounce back.

soldier: explosive like a rocket. don’t give him an insult he has to think about. he’s gonna get madder that he had to think about it and he’s gonna come and kick your ass until he’s bored. and he will never get bored. has tried in incremental amounts to not get that mad anymore; nobody has a good time when he’s that mad. also a big shit talker, but the better term is “war decree”, because getting him angry is declaring war on him. and he is very frank with what the plan is when it comes to the attack. can, has tried, and actually has on two occasions involved the team in revenge plans. i don’t know how to quickly disable a rocket; so i would hope you do.

pyro: pyro will take their anger out on the battlefield. that’s when pyro gets weird and nobody wants to be around them at the base because they’re being weird on the battlefield. but at the base they don’t act any different. because normally the team does not anger pyro. sometimes pyro wakes up and is fueled with rage. at anything. at everything. sometimes they get so mad at themselves, and they don’t know why they get so mad. they’re just being themselves, as they were yesterday, and the day before, and the month prior. their imagination can buffer that with making the enemy team seem… squishier. fun to throw around because they just return back to their shape. they enjoy that. that’s really fun.

heavy: here’s the thing; heavy is a good and not messy guy, so heavy will make all efforts to discuss any problem he has with anyone, and does expect vice versa. if you’ve got a problem with him, his door and ears are open. he’s willing to talk about it. however, do not mistake that for weakness. i mean, come on. literally look at him. do you want to push him there if he’s willing to discuss it? really?

demo: demo will give you one (1) opportunity to course correct. after that you’re on his shit list. he’s got a physical list, a couple of pages, front to back, of peoples full government names, a glued on ID picture, and their most current address. not enough names on the list for a journal yet but he’s always willing to add. and getting on his shit list is permanent. you are not to speak to him. you are not to be within his eyesight. and if you are, there’s a problem. and you’ll get one (1) opportunity to course correct before it gets physical.

engineer: engie doesn’t get messy with his anger unless you take it there. and if you take it there, buddy that’s a game he loves to play. already has issues with people being in his space, so frankly if he’s mad at you, or getting to be upset with you, he will tell you, point blank “get somewhere away from me. immediately. don’t let me see you again today.” and within 24 hours he will be okay and ready to talk to you, and you can attempt to patch things up. but if you keep bugging him and keep bugging him and keep bugging him… he will absolutely have a conniption. he will yell. he will get in your face. however, that has nothing on his grudges. talk about a stew. he will sit on it. sit on it for days. process it while tinkering with his machines. and if he decides that what you did truly wasn’t forgivable? there is no one who can warn you about the storm coming your way. he makes your life miserable and you will never see him do it. first of all, anything you own with a wire is getting cut. batteries stolen, sockets with broken off fork teeth in them. he does not care if your whole house goes up in flames. he simply does not. so don’t ask. but also, he’ll disable your garage. he’ll put bleach in your engine. he’ll funnel your muffler into your AC if he felt justified in it. and you don’t know; nobody knows how he’s accomplishing it. and he won’t tell.

medic: medic, like pyro, takes his aggression out on the battlefield. except the doctor is worse because he’s just in general one to express his anger explosively. like you can’t miss the way his face will contort at you when you’ve pissed him off. petty things will earn a sorry soul the privilege to be a free fill of the doctor’s quota. he’ll go out of his way to find someone on a map so he can hack them to pieces. but when he’s just… angry, just wakes up angry; angry at himself because he knows if he wanted to he could change; he could have changed, he just didn’t want to, still doesn’t want to. some people call that regret. but he just gets mad. he pockets pyro those days. he pockets pyro when pyro is angry too. it’s always been a good time for him. he’ll feed into their delusions; yelling in their ear “don’t they look soft? don’t they look like they could stand some force?” and pyro gets so excited for it. they will rack up body after body after body, and normally they both would laugh. they would cackle. they would taunt their corpses. but pyro is the only one laughing. medic stands there and watches. and they go to the next one. and the next one. and the next one. and medic doesn’t laugh. but he’ll assure pyro he’s having fun. he’s having the time of his life.

sniper: sniper doesn’t really get mad. he gets annoyed, he gets irritated, and he talks mad shit about whoever he’s annoyed or irritated with; but he doesn’t ever get mad. because when he does he’s ready to fight and he does not care who is in the way. there’s no other way of putting it, he’ll beat the brakes off you and lord help whoever’s trying to hold him back because they will not be treated kindly either. so he has worked very hard to not make anger an immediate emotion.

spy: spy also does not get mad, because any situation he could possibly get mad at was a situation he didn’t predict and account for. and that’s on nobody else but him. spy does not normally get above extreme irritation before it becomes divinely gifted vitriolic annoyance. which he voices. loudly. to anyone that will listen. it is his sermon; you are a son of a bitch and should never be trusted again. and he spreads rumors like a motherfucker. and everyone spreads them?? it genuinely makes no sense when his teammates know this man is a liar. these men are just messy, because there’s really no way they could actually believe that scout’s hair was a well done toupee. THEY LIVE WITH SCOUT. THEY LIVE WITH SPY. THEY SEE WHAT THESE MEN DO EVERYDAY. they’re just messy and love gossip because there’s nobody else to talk to except for their scheduled monthly off day, which they normally get called in for anyway!

[shadamyheadcanons]

i love that you don’t put sonic as a jerk in your headcannons but rather supportive! this is so cool, because sonic really wants all of his friends to be happy and with amy wouldn’t be different, specially since they’ve known each other since they were children and sonic himself said that she is a special/dear person to him so i agree he would be happy if amy and shadow got together. as much as i love sonamy, i also love shadamy (sorry for the long ask it’s just that is not that common seeing sonic being portrayed like this in some ffs)

Thanks for the compliment! This one means a lot because I think I’m actually harsher toward Sonic sometimes than a lot of modern shadamy writers are. I say “modern” because new “Amy goes for Shadow because Sonic is a jerk” stories are actually few and far between. It’s easy to think they’re all over the place because there absolutely are a lot of them, but the ones I run into are usually from, like...2012. If you sort by Date Updated on AO3, it tells a different story, pun intended. I believe there are three main reasons for this:

1. Since half of shadamy fans started shipping them in SA2 two and a half decades ago, a ton of us are in our 30s now, writing more mature stories with more fine-tuned characterization. This is one of the advantages of having an ancient ship.

2. It’s a tired trope. We’ve all read a million of them. Most people don’t like how Sonic acts in them for his sake, but my biggest gripe is that they undersell what Shadow has to offer. He’s not just good for Amy because he’s Not Sonic, he’s good for her because of who he is.

3. Sonic treats Amy much better than he used to. The reason “Sonic is a jerk” fics were so common 10-20 years ago is because he was a jerk, almost exclusively to Amy.

These fics exist because no other character works better than Shadow as an arbiter of justice for something that bothered a lot of Amy fans at the time.

More on this under the cut. Lots more. I got kind of carried away.

It’s easy to forget how bad Sonic was when we have games like Frontiers and comics like IDW and Mega Drive now:

Between new fans who aren’t as familiar with older games, longtime fans who haven’t looked at their history in a while, and fans who love Sonic and just don’t want to see him in a bad light, tons of people sweep his old behavior under the rug without even realizing it.

I don’t think any of that is fair to Amy.

A brief reminder of their dynamic in the past:

1. Constant abandonment. He ran from her in Sonic Adventure...

...Sonic Heroes...

And four times in SA2 alone! More on that later.

2. Standing her up on dates. This mostly happened in Sonix X...

[Episode 42, episode 45]

...but there was also Sonic and the Black Knight, where he didn’t show up, didn’t apologize, never made it up to her, and made no attempt to reschedule.

3. Uh...literally hurting her, for some reason...?

At the end of Sonic Riders, when he didn’t feel like properly handling a hostage situation:

Oh, welcome back, episode 42! Didn’t expect to see you again:

The new version of Sonic Generations altered this cutscene, thank god, but back in 2011, players saw this:

4. And the worst part of this, to me, is that he lets her get her hopes up. It’s not just the almost-dates he skips. Knuckles teases Sonic in Heroes, saying, “Are you playing with that girl’s heart again, Sonic?” It’s intended as a joke, but then he does things like this:

Sonic X, episode 52. You know what roses are, Sonic, you know how she’ll interpret this, and you know you won’t follow through.

I know I’m picking on Sonic X a lot, but it was pretty popular at the time, even among fans who didn’t touch the games or comics. This was how they saw these characters growing up, and it made its way into countless fics.

But even after all these years, no matter which continuity you work with...he still won’t give her a solid “no.”

Not liking someone back is fine. Not being interested in a relationship is fine. But letting her believe she’ll win you over if she chases you long enough isn’t, and that’s what he’s doing to this day.

Fans throw around the same tired old “justifications” over and over for why he is/was like this to Amy, but they don’t hold water. People say he’s mean because he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings for her, but he liked Elise, too, and he was nothing but kind to her.

(Putting this here because although fans don’t like to admit it, Elise was indeed intended to be a love interest. She and Amy are presented on par here, so if you think he likes Amy, then he liked Elise, too. You get exactly the same result regardless of who you choose for this trial.)

The other frequent “justification” is that he ran and lashed out because he was afraid of her, often accompanied by awful Amy hate (“stalker,” “psycho,” etc.). This also doesn’t work because Sonic was always harsh to Amy no matter how gentle she was. Classic Amy is the sweetest, most adorable little munchkin in the world...

...and he still ran away.

^ These are from the same exact comic, by the way: IDW Sonic’s 30th anniversary. Five pages apart. How in the world could anyone not want her around?

Amy had more spunk in Adventure and Adventure 2, but she was just as sweet, and he still treated her like a pest to be swatted. The ending of her story in SA1 is this:

But...why should she have to? He treats everyone else with the same baseline of respect, at least until they give him a reason not to. Why is it just Amy? He wasn’t just mean to her, he was uniquely mean to her. She didn’t act out until Heroes in 2003, when she’d already been ignored for years. Standing on the sidelines wasn’t working, so she tried being more “proactive.” Was it the right way to do things? No...but I honestly can’t hold it against her. It makes sense in context. She was a kid, and kids act out when they’re neglected.

And this is where Sonic Adventure 2 comes in.

SA2 was pivotal for Amy. Nearly everyone tossed her aside; Sonic left her behind four separate times in this game alone. First was right after she broke him out of jail on Prison Island. He ran off the second her back was turned:

Second, he and Tails both walked away from her after Eggman blew up the moon. She easily could’ve gotten arrested here.

Third, Sonic and Tails made a plan to stop Eggman right in front of her, blatantly leaving her out of it as if she wasn’t even there:

...which, if you’ll recall, led to Eggman holding her at gunpoint:

...and when Sonic set out to rescue her, this was his recap:

This does not work as a joke given how they treat her. He pretends she doesn’t exist to her face, then says this behind her back.

And immediately after that, when it was time for them to save the world, they left her alone again.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I was furious by that point.

But then...something interesting happened.

A photoset or gifset can’t do this scene justice, but I think most shadamy fans have already seen it plenty of times. For the few who haven’t, you can watch it here.

The contrast between Shadow and Sonic is impossible to ignore. By building up this moment the way they did, the writers primed us to notice it.

Sonic runs from Amy’s hugs, while Shadow would like more of them, please and thank you.

Sonic pretends she doesn’t exist, while Shadow’s moved to tears and changes the course of his life because he values what she has to say.

Anytime they’ve interacted since then, he’s been uniquely respectful and gentle with her. It’s what she deserves, and for a long time, this was all we had. He was all we had.

The other half of the equation is that it is very, very easy to picture Shadow taking Sonic and the others to task for their mistreatment of her. As a blunt person who’s not afraid to confront Sonic, Shadow is the most believable candidate to this day. The only person to fully respect her from the start also happens to clash with the person who hurts her most often? Of course those fics exist. It’s a perfect storm.

And it’s no wonder that this attitude persists somewhat even now, because Sonic is still doing this, even if he’s “nicer” about it. That prison escape from SA2? The one he never thanked her for? He still gives all the credit to Tails for that, even up through Frontiers:

Amy. Amy broke you out of prison. Tails broke in, and then she snuck through a maximum-security prison, somehow stole a card key, and saved your life. We’re in the 2020s, but he’s still disrespecting her. And don’t get me started on the TailsTube Secret Santa episode.

It feels like Sega wants us to forget all of this ever happened, and it has some very confusing results. From that same Sonic 30th anniversary comic from above, the one where he and the others abandoned her:

Like...this? This is lying. He’s just lying to her. I can’t tell if they think we all collectively have amnesia or if it’s some weird, mean-spirited joke at her expense. I genuinely don’t know what they’re trying to say.

It’s not enough to pretend it never happened and move on, not to me. Sonic should be held responsible for what he canonically did. Him supposedly being bad with feelings didn’t make it hurt her any less, and he’s older than Amy, so he should’ve been the mature one.

The longer the writers keep this up, the worse Sonic looks, and I don’t think that’s what they’re aiming for. Ignoring the problem is not a solution. Amy might forgive, but I’ll never forget.

I just want to see a canon apology so I can reason out why she put up with it for so long. I want to at least be able to buy her having a crush on him. I can do that when he’s being selfless and heroic. I can’t do that when he treats her like the plague, and pretending he never did doesn’t match the Sonic I legitimately like. I bet a lot of s0namy fans would like to see a resolution like that, too.

Sorry to turn your thoughtful compliment into a rant. I really do appreciate it, and I’m glad you enjoy the stories!

[siwolism]

hey real quick since we wanna pull the "if you dont know about it shut the fuck up" card but also take potshots at native americans "planting bombs," I have a few questions for you. No google!

How many treaties has the US made with indigenous nations? How many of those treaties are unbroken?

What % of native americans live in poverty? How does this compare to the white average? How about other US minorities?

How many indigenous american soldiers served in the korean war?

How many federally recognized indigenous tribes are there in the USA?

When were indigenous americans allowed to leave the reservation without petitioning the US government for permission?

What is NAGPRA? Why does it exist?

How many native american children died thanks to the residential school system?

How many indigenous languages are currently spoken in the USA? Now how about including the dead ones? Can you name 5?

How many bison lived in the USA prior to westward expansion? How many are left now?

What was the population of indigenous americans in the current US prior to european contact? What is it now?

Since I sincerely doubt you can answer any of these, let alone all of them, pick three or four and make your best guesses.

off the top of my head. also like less then 35% of koreans use google lol. not really a big thing here

3. 10,000. don’t know why you included this obviously i know the stats on the korean war. there were 42,000 in the viet war lol

1. i know it’s somewhere in the ballpark of 350-380, but i can’t remember the exact number. i thinkkkk the wikipedia page says 500 (600?) but im not sure how trust worthy wikipedia is compared to other sources in this case. if i ever came across a conclusive answer to how many treaties broken i don’t remember it, but i usually just assume most if not all.

2. ive seen differing numbers between native americans in general and those who live on reservations and i might get this mixed up but im pretty sure it’s 30% poverty rait for those living on reservations and 24% for native usamericans in general. i don’t know the white average but the national average is 15%

4. 578 i think?

5. if there is an exact date id love to know. from my own education i thought it was both a state and federal thing and i assumed the dates in which restrictions were lifted depended on different states. but actually even as i’m writing that out that sounds wrong lol. i do know that by 1956 there was the indian relocation act so it had to have been before then

6. its an acronym. federal act, something to do with graves i remember seeing people talking about it a while ago. i think it has something to do with museums who had stolen native american bones and other cultural objects being given money by the government if they returned them.

7. okay so ive seen a lot of people say a thousand (in the us) and im pretty sure that’s the number that came out of an offical report but i really don’t think that’s correct because the number of native american children killed in canadian residential schools is upward of 4,000 and some researches say it could be as many as 30,000 so i think that 1k number has to be bullshit.

8. it’s around 180 today, i think it was 300 originally. ill try my best but like lowkey i probably couldn’t tell you 10 languages in china if you gave me 10 hours i suffer from an extreme inability to remember small details like names and dates. but i will try: yupik, haida, cherokee (<- the one with the cool script), dakota and lakota

9. sorry i don’t know numbers but im pretty sure the stats are like. over 95%, ive seen some places say 98% it’s fucking horrific

10. i don’t think anyone knows the number. no one was taking census, ive seen people say 10 million ive seen people say 114 million but im pretty sure that’s talking about the entire continents of the americas not just who lived in current day usa. the modern day population is between 3-9 million depending on how you define a native usamerican.

i think you guys underestimate just how much knowledge about usamerica us non usamericans just absorb via being on majority usamerican websites. and when i was younger trying to learn more about indigenous struggles around the world i spent a lot of time on indigenous discord servers which were all a fucking hellhole (shout out to all survivors of the freely indigenous server i think we all deserve finical compensation) but i still had to educate myself on native american topics in the us and canada because the majority of the time that’s what was under discussion and i didn’t want to come off as ignorant. also the person im dating is originally from canada and has family in usamerica, she’s a communist and ive learnt a lot about, especially canadian, indigenous history from her. but even without those last two things just being on any side of vaguely leftist tumblr or tiktok you encounter a lot of discussion around native american issues. id say most non usamerican communists on here have done some level of research on indigenous history and current day reality in the americas and even if they hadn’t it’s pretty easy to absorb the basics via osmosis.

[chryza]

Actually while my brain is on the subject I just want to gush about Executor for a moment because he is such a good and nuanced representation of an autistic person. At first glance he seems to be the pretty standard white male savant trope, but his character was really fleshed out with Executor the Ex Foedere and his appearances in Hortus and Zwillingstürme (and the prelude manhua).

I don’t think his icy, robotic exterior is cultivated, but I also think he was never given the chance to develop anything else. In a world where everyone around you can feel each other’s emotions (if they’re Sankta of course), to be cut off from that entirely? Of course he came to the conclusion that emotional expression was unnecessary or meaningless. He was never understood, he did not speak their language, so to say. And that very literal distance between him and the other Sankta is such a good representation of how it can feel to have autism. How many of us described it like a wall between us and the rest of the world, that we were only ever looking into?

And sure, he’s ruthlessly logical and straightforwardly blunt, but to mistake that for a lack of depth or a lack of feeling at all is not only incorrect, it’s sort of what he’s dealt with his entire life. Hortus de Escapismo especially highlighted a more tender, emotional side of Federico that soothes my wounded heart. He acts on feeling, without understanding why, he shows compassion and true empathy to the people of Sanctiliminium Ambrosii. He’s good with children because he treats them with the respect that children so desperately crave (which again is a very common experience amongst autistic people). What seems at first like a blank slate is simply a canvas in colors others refuse to see.

And that’s why I think Arturia is so important to him. She never treated him like he was any different, she saw the heart of what he was trying to say, she accepted and embraced his idiosyncratic behavior. And of course Arturia is a thousand more essays. But I will say I don’t think Federico missed that shot accidentally. Someone else maybe would have missed out of a lack of skill or being caught off guard by Arturia, but not him.

I think he really speaks to the heart of an aspect of autistic representation that is so often sorely missing—the struggle of existing in a world you feel cut off from. Trying to breach the barrier between yourself and others, to reach out and communicate in a way that matters. I wouldn’t say he feels any sort of grief about it, but you can feel him desperately clawing through the walls of reason he’s constructed around himself at the end of Hortus. It is a deeply human struggle. They don’t have to say on paper that he’s autistic. His entire story is one that so many autistic people know intimately as their own.

[em-harlsnow]

i feel like people forget when they’re writing mickey that his issues with intimacy were not just internalised homophobia. obviously, internalised homophobia was a huge reason why he struggled with ian and coming to terms with loving him. but it’s not the only reason he was so scared of being close to him.

mandy and mickey are eerily similar people in my opinion. their abusive home means that both of them find the concept of someone caring about them unbelievable and ridiculous and fake because they never had care as kids. if mickey had no internalised homophobia, he would still probably not have kissed ian until season 3 in my opinion just from fear of intimacy and affection.

i don’t like when people seem to think internalised homophobia is the only thing going on. they act as if once mickey gets over that, or terry dies or something, that he’d just be totally fine with ian or a guy. i don’t think that’s true, because mandy clearly struggles with things like expressing emotions, people caring about her, people loving her (things u need in a relationship) and she doesn’t have any internalised homophobia (because she isn’t gay). I think mickey’s the same way.

In a way i think the struggles mickey has are slightly different because he’s a guy and men have the whole toxic masculinity ‘boys don’t cry’ issues, so i think mickey would probably struggle more with emotional connections and being open about feelings than Mandy (again, in a miracle world where internalised homophobia isn’t a thing). we even see that idea with how mandy tells lip she loves him much earlier than mickey.

i would be interested to see what mickey would be like without the internalised homophobia because he’d still have issues. He’s a victim of severe child abuse, he’s going to take more from that time than just ‘i hate myself because im gay’. i don’t like when people write him with that very narrow narrative, because there’s so much more stuff to explore in his character.

anyway, this was a huge ramble and i don’t know if it made much sense. i understand why people focus on the internalised homophobia, but in my opinion that’s not by any means the only thing he struggles with. i love fics that explore his issues beyond that.

[artist-issues]

Mufasa Re-Do: Zazu

For my first adjustment; Zazu! Zazu and his interactions with the rest of the cast.

In the Mufasa We Got, Zazu is supposed to be young, and comedic relief, because he is following Sarabi around like he’s on her staff somehow, because the rest of her pride was scattered by the villain. He doesn’t interact directly with Taka or Rafiki beyond flying in the same traveling group as them, and he has one interaction with Mufasa where Mufasa tells Zazu that he can save the day by using his bird wings to cover their tracks so the villains don’t find them. 

They’re inconsistent with Zazu’s characterization, and with what he’s doing in the story. At first, he seems to be dedicated to Sarabi as part of her honor guard, though she mentions he’s just her scout. That’s supposed to be funny, because he’s like a 1lb-bird claiming to protect a 200+lb lioness. But any time there’s trouble while they’re in the traveling part of the movie, he turns into a coward and darts into the sky with a one-liner about how he didn’t sign up for this danger. Even though he had no trouble “confronting danger” when it was Taka and Mufasa. Then, even later in the climax, he seems to lose all cowardice (inexplicably) and has to be rescued because he’s trying to fight three evil lions at once.

None of which has anything to do with the Zazu we know and love from The Original Lion King. 

He has one line at the end where he seems to be a stickler for tradition, which would be in-character for the Zazu we know—he tells Mufasa that he must banish Taka for betraying them. But uh…where does that tradition come from, and how does Zazu know it? He just got to this kingdom ten minutes ago. Also, THIS young Zazu has not demonstrated any personality-bent toward tradition until this moment. Basically what I’m saying is, they just needed someone to suggest banishment in that moment, and Zazu was luckily nearby and they could give him that line. It only fit his adult-characterization by accident. 

In the WHOLE movie, they should’ve been showing that he was a stickler for rules and pomp and circumstance. They should’ve been showing how he was THRILLED to be part of a royal lioness’ staff, and wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from him. 

In the movie, however, I love one moment with Zazu, which was totally inconsistent and never gets addressed again, but they should’ve been focusing on it much more and it could’ve been great:

It’s when Mufasa encourages Zazu to use his wings to cover their tracks. 

This scene accomplishes 3 things:

1 - It gives Zazu a moment where he can be validated, and feel useful, as a young bird in the company of royal lions. That could be a real character beat that shows us how he got to the majordomo we know & love in The Lion King. 

2 - It shows Mufasa’s “superpower” as a character; he “respects all creatures in the Circle of Life” and can not only empathize with them enough to see how they can be useful—but he can INSPIRE them to work together for the greater good. He can make a plan, see how someone else can be delegated-to to put it into action, and then inspire them to get it done. You know. Like a good leader.

3 - It shows all the characters around Mufasa, from Sarabi to Taka to Rafiki, that there’s a different way to think; animals of all species can be useful. For Taka, he needs to learn that to become the evil-genius who thinks of allying himself with hyenas. For Sarabi, she can admire the way Mufasa trusts others, and see that they CAN be trusted.

The problem is? The Movie We Got doesn’t lead up to it well. Zazu acts insecure and uncertain, in this ONE scene, until Mufasa believes in him and gives him a pep talk. But earlier, Zazu seemed to have no problem with confidence and self-importance. The other characters’ interactions with Zazu don’t lead up to this moment well either. Actually, they’ve barely interacted with him at all. He’s just flying around saying one-liners to himself.

So! Here’s what I would’ve done.

Young Zazu:

Instead of being all-over-the-place with his characterization, I would’ve made Zazu an intensely loyal bird who thinks he can be useful to the Grand Scheme of Things. Unfortunately, he has way too much confidence in being able to do anything, when actually, he needs to learn that he;s just a bird. He can do some things well, but he won’t fit into ANY place in the Circle of Life—he needs to find HIS specific place. A place where he can be of the most service. (That’s a recurring theme in my idea for the movie.) So, first he thinks he can be a bodyguard for Sarabi, then he almost gets her and himself killed and loses all confidence—then Mufasa gives it back to him by showing him that he can be more useful in a smaller way. Like covering their tracks.

Zazu and Sarabi:

Sarabi’s father did leave Sarabi in Zazu’s care. But it was a panicked, spur-of-the-moment decision. It went like this:

Sarabi’s father heard there were Rogues hunting in his territory and, like a good King should, interrupted their illegal hunt and tried to chase them out. They happened to be toying with young Zazu at the time when Sarabi’s Dad burst in and fought with them. But he was overpowered, underestimating their numbers, and Sarabi’s Dad realized that his kingdom was about to be taken over. So in the middle of what became his last stand, he commanded Zazu, who was still nearby,  to go find his daughter, the Princess, and warn her to run away. But Zazu actually found her after she already escaped, on her own, and insisted that “your father left you in my care!” Then he won’t leave her alone.

And in my concept, she hates that.

 In The Movie We Got, Sarabi was very inconsistent, too, just when it came to Zazu. She’s like, “I don’t need anybody’s help— and nobody’s WOULD help me, anyway.” She acts that way with Mufasa & Taka, she acts that way with Rafiki, and she eventually acts that way when Mufasa wants to get help from elephants. BUT. She does NOT act that way with Zazu. Which is not only inconsistent, but ridiculous, because he is, again, a 1lb-bird, and making her consistently annoyed by his offer of help would have strengthened the story and given Mufasa more of a spotlight, by contrast, because he DOES value Zazu.

Anyway.

Sarabi should find Zazu bothersome, especially because she CAN’T get rid of him. He flies out of her reach whenever she tries to scare him away, but he never goes far, and he won’t shut up. At first. He’s convinced the King, her father, condescended to save his life and entrusted him with something important, he’s thrilled to have that mission in life, and he doesn’t (at first) care what she or anyone says to the contrary.

For most of the movie, Zazu and Sarabi’s relationship is one-sided. Eventually she softens her dismissal of Zazu into seeing him more like an “annoying little-brother,” (because they bond over Zazu’s brief connection to her late father + they spend more time together + Mufasa sets a more empathetic example and it rubs off on her.) 

Then they have one tense moment where Zazu’s bad-fit as her bodyguard really leads to bad consequences for Sarabi, and he loses all confidence, until Mufasa fixes that.

By the end of the movie, Sarabi and Zazu are friends and she’s come around to Mufasa’s way of thinking—all animals in the Circle of Life should be respected in their own right, and Zazu is their first example of why.

But at the beginning, it’s pretty tense. He insists he can be useful and she demonstrates how much she refuses to need help by wishing she could eat him.

Zazu is introduced to the rest of the group like this:

While Sarabi is slinking through the bush, trying to put as much distance between herself and her fallen kingdom as she can, Zazu won’t stop flying overhead, yammering. He’s talking about how danger can come from anywhere, and pontificating on what a good Royal Escort’s policy should be to watch out for it, and she’s shushing him but he’s taking no notice.

 Taka and Mufasa spot him flapping and monologuing above some bushes as they are making their own escape, and when they get closer, THAT’S how they find and meet Sarabi.

Taka thinks Sarabi is beautiful at first sight and tries to pounce on Zazu as soon as he gets the opportunity, kind of to show off and make an entrance. Zazu protests that he is Sarabi’s Royal Escort, and should not be eaten. Sarabi wants him to shut up—she doesn’t know if these two strangers are part of the Rogues that she’s running from, and she doesn’t want them to know who she is (more on that in my Sarabi-focused post.)

But Mufasa? 

Zazu and Mufasa: 

Mufasa hears that Zazu is Sarabi’s Royal Escort and he thinks that’s a great idea. He admires that she works with a bird, immediately. (Remember, in the great Lin-Manuel/Lebo M. Song, “I Always Wanted a Brother,” Mufasa admires birds for their freedom and ability to see more than he can?)

He shows how Zazu can be useful, and eventually convinces Sarabi that Zazu IS useful. This can happen more than once, but the best moment I’m thinking of is Zazu flying to get help when Sarabi is knocked out by the elephants. (That’s scene was almost strong, so I want to keep it.) 

Zazu does this without thinking, even though a moment ago he was downhearted and feeling useless after his Big Mistake Moment. But Mufasa takes notice, after getting Zazu’s message and saving Sarabi. He reminds Zazu of  his helpfulness as a messenger later on, when they need him to cover their tracks, and that convinces Zazu that he really is believed-in by the lions. Then Zazu goes to Mufasa for orders in the climax, further hitting the nail-on-the-head that Mufasa’s True Place in the Circle of Life, where he serves others the best, is as their natural leader.

Because he can see the respectable nature of all creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. And it starts with Zazu!

Zazu and Mufasa are fast friends, from the beginning. This is obviously because Mufasa does more than tolerate a bird traveling with them, he actually laughs at Zazu’s jokes and treats him civilly—but he also stops Taka from eating Zazu.

Zazu and Taka:

The running gag for much of the movie is that Taka finds Zazu annoying, as one of his maneuvers to have something in common with Sarabi. Also from an early age, Taka believes other animals are only as useful as they are tasty, or maybe as entertainment. 

Zazu dislikes Taka’s presumption to always be walking alongside Sarabi. He keeps getting in the way every time Taka tries to put the moves on the Princess. Sometimes Taka comedically menaces Zazu, but once or twice at the end of the movie, to show how violent and bitter Taka is getting as Mufasa gets the spotlight, Taka really tries to smack Zazu around. 

Mostly, Zazu serves as a way for Taka to demonstrate how differently he and Mufasa think…and Sarabi is caught in the middle of the two worldviews.

Zazu and Rafiki:

Zazu starts out skeptical of Rafiki and even being a little jealous of him. He sort of unconsciously liked that he was the only non-lion traveling companion of Sarabi—it gave him a sense of special-importance. He also likes things to be proper, and Rafiki seems a little crazy, so their personalities don’t exactly mesh. 

But then I’d hint every now and then at the idea that Rafiki, in their travels, is teaching Zazu about the traditions of the Great Kings, and how lion prides have been run in the Pridelands. Zazu likes that, because in his mind he’s part of Sarabi’s nonexistent court, and now he has rules and regulations to insert into conversations with her.

This way, by the end, if Mufasa needs someone to suggest punishment for Taka, Zazu can believably be the one to do it. And it won’t come out of nowhere. It’ll feel like this was always where Zazu was headed, because now we’ve seen where he came from.