#and I don’t have a hydroflask anymore

[zootopiathingz]

So many Hazbin stickers, so few places to put them

[jammingjaem]

dream store

5. honesty is key

PAIRING | lee haechan x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS | rising up in the music industry as a young songwriter and producer, you wouldn’t think that you’d get hired by sm entertainment and write a song for your favorite group. although there was one downfall: you don’t think making music makes you happy anymore. but the endearing and charismatic lee haechan has swept you off of your feet. and here you’re asking yourself— what are you waiting for in life?

y/n hesitated outside the meeting room, butterflies already erupting in her stomach. right at the other side of the door, nct dream and their staff were waiting. the muted buzz of voices hinted at discussions already underway, intensifying her nervousness. she already had scenarios running in her mind of what the staff wanted for the song, what they expect rather than giving the boys a chance to speak. the girl took a deep breath, fingers fidgeting with the fidget ring that giselle bought her for her birthday.

“just open the fucking door, y/n.” the girl mumbled to herself, taking a deep breath.

when she finally pushed open the door, a hush fell over the room. the members of nct dream looked up, expressions a mix of curiosity. she thought her nerves seemed to be detectible, but their smiles, thankfully, eased her tension. ‘ningning said that they were understanding.’ y/n thought to herself, blinking at the sight of the seven of them.

the staff intimidated her, definitely. but this was between her and nct dream only. she needs to assert her dominance as a producer working with artists.

“now that i’m here, i’d like to request all the staff members to leave.” they, including the dreamies, were baffled.

“this is a meeting about your collaboration with the boys— we’re here to know when the release date will be and—“ a staff member spoke up.

y/n’s annoyance grew, haechan noticing the way her eyebrows furrowed as the staff stressed everyone’s presence for the meeting, y/n’s stern glare pierced through the room, determined to get her own way. haechan, with a wry smile, saw how discontent y/n was, a silent protest in the midst of professional expectations. her glare intensified, resembling a coiled snake, poised to strike at unsuspecting staff members with a palpable intensity.

“are you the producer?” she pipes up, and that silenced him immediately, all of the boys looking at each other. “i don’t think you know who you hired— especially since you’ve never worked with me before.” she slammed her hydroflask down on the table, making park jisung flinch in shock. “i am the producer that you hired to make music for nct dream, so i expect you all to know the basic knowledge when hiring me.”

“now you—” “i, myself, will be working with the boys one on one to know what kind of music they want to make and the kind of music they know their fans want to hear. tha is my policy. are we clear?”

everybody fell silent. haechan quirks up an eyebrow admiring her clear vision for work. impressed, mark lee known as nct dream’s leader addressed the staff, “she’s right — we’ll work with her one on one, and we should start today for the meeting. i think it’ll be easier for both sides.”

zhong chenle interrupted him, apologizing first before saying, “ningning worked one on one with her for life’s too short and the song came out in two weeks. shouldn’t we have the same drive?”

y/n, raising an eyebrow, hums in agreement, “if you want the song to release faster, listen to me. how will the artist have their own voice if the staff is the one running the song? i suggest you all leave.”

the room fell silent as y/n’s boldness hung in the air. mark, sensing the authenticity of her approach, nodded. “let’s follow y/n’s lead. one on one it is. the song is important.”

as the staff left, haechan smiled. he liked how she knew what she wanted and never backed down, something that he sometimes couldn’t do. as soon as they left, the girl waited for a minute, opening the door to see them all gone. she sighs in relief, closing the door and sitting down on a chair. the boys all look at her expectedly, waiting for her to continue, waiting for their plan to take place.

“thank god they are gone!” she huffs out, looking up to see all of the boys sitting there. “the members of aespa told me you guys are understanding. are you really understanding and to what point?” she questioned.

“well i’m keeping a secret that karina told me not to tell?” lee jeno pipes up, “something about having screenshots of a username’s account… something…villa? for blackmail about something.”

“WHAT?” y/n shouts, shocking the seven boys, “really?” “she’ll kill me. don’t tell her i told you!” jeno complained, and she nods, seeing that he was clueless— ‘well no duh, this is our first meeting.’ she thought, before clearing her throat.

“alright… well, i’ll drop that.” y/n looks around, then sighs, “honesty is key.” she scrunches her nose, “i need to tell you guys the truth. but you can’t tell anyone!”

“then we’ll tell you what we’re planning.” haechan pipes up and na jaemin shot his head up, glaring immediately at the male in front of him, “what’s there to lose? you lose some, you gain some. if she’s honest with us, we are honest with her.”

“okay then. deal.” y/n clears her throat, “i have no ideas prepared for you guys— i’m brainless for songs. i’ve had a writer’s block since five months ago. i’m practically jobless!”

they all stare at her, and haechan started laughing, the girl’s expression falling, “are— are you laughing at my dilemma right now?”

“no!” haechan laughs, wiping imaginary tears away, “if anything… we’re kind of on the same boat.”

“chenle had an idea where we just stall on our jobs so that we have more time to relax before working.” huang renjun tells her, and the boys nod in agreement, making her lean back and cover her face, groaning. they all look at each other, before looking back at her.

“then this is great!” y/n says, looking up at them. “i think we can work together. by working with me, i’ll give you guys all the time to relax. only if you help me with ideas to write your song!”

“how will that help us relax?” jisung questions, and she shrugs.

“we can fake meetings, and say we are talking about the song… which we will, but if anything, we can just hang out! or not. your choices.”

“okay, i like the sound of that.” jaemin nods his head.

“we don’t need to have meetings frequently either. you guys do what you want to do, but you can help me by sending me things to inspire me and give me input for everything. that’s all i need…” she tells them, “possibly helping me get back into music too.” she mumbled to herself.

“what was that?” mark asks and she shakes her head, smiling, “well… okay then.” he looks around, seeing his members agreeing, “we’re in. but— the staff wanted a specific date when we’ll finish?”

“and you are a man who is in another sub-unit with haechan.” she raised an eyebrow, “i say we work on this project— two months max. will that give you guys time to relax?”

“deal.” haechan takes it for the team, “so should we exchange numbers?”

previous | masterlist | next

TAGLIST (open.) | @celestialsluvrs @cosmicwintr @suzayaaa @polarisjisung @i-lovegood @jinsoul-gf @fullsunahceah @renjunniex @wonkivrse @en-gelic @tywritesstuff @jenodreamer @haechansbbg @miyawwn @n0hyuck @222brainrot @ur-purin @dinonuguaegi @replayenthusiast @i6renj @giaccolo @nanawrlds @multifandomania06 @jeongintwt @luv4jeno @lelengerine @gomdojun @yeppietennie @jaeimjaemin @thisisnotjacinta @hugs2doie @mystverse @jjaeyuns @rksbae @x-jaehyunluvr-x @bunchofroses07 @darlingz99 @yv72s @lixizpixi @ggukkiedae @cupidsmoons

[javierpena-inatacvest]

I don’t care if it’s not cool or trendy anymore but I am a faithful Hydroflask stan and I will put stickers all over it 🫡 I chickened out and didn’t get the Javi pocket Pedro bc I have abysmal social anxiety- everyone knows Mando and I didn’t wanna have to answer who the random man in sunglasses was in the pocket and unveil my obscene Pedro obsession to the world 💀 (plus Din and lil Grogu are so freaking cute 🥺)

[lesbianlenas]

I didn’t like the video (why would I?) so I don’t have the video url or would even be able to find it anymore. just ask the girl in front of you with the Stanley cup next class for her tiktok url instead

there aren’t any girls that sit in front of me w stanley cups they all have hydroflasks i was actually looking at everyone’s thermoses yesterday bc i was extremely bored during class. i’m not even remotely joking. so it was not me then ❤️ just so u know nothing u sent would be compelling evidence in a court of law not even w a preponderance of the evidence standard 😩 disappointed 😔

[sevasey51]

I hate my brain

—————

Paring: Chris Evans x daughter! reader

—————

Warnings: Emetophobia,mentions of vomiting, pain medication, talk of needles, soft! Dad chris, mentions of operations and medical stuff.

—————

So this is based on my experience with migraines and how they’ve blossomed from just a normal headache to this it’s a little journey down painful memory lane for me :)

—————

It wasn’t an unusual thing for you to have migraines all the time that gradually turned to this from tension headaches. Finding the root cause was hard for you, your family and your neurologist because it got that bad that you had to be referred to try and find why they were happening. Let me tell you it wasn’t a fun time, you got glasses to help with the tension headaches since it was something to do with your eyes when you had an operation when you were 8 years old, it was one of the side effects.

Time skip to 8 years later a load of medication, appointments and the burst of hormones from 11 it really messed it up a little or maybe a lot you couldn’t decide still.

It was early morning, you couldn’t stop think you were going to be sick until you were kneeling over the toliet in the hallway bathroom hoping there wasn’t anymore that would come out of your tired, throbbing body that was just making your head worse even though you were currently crying in the dark.

Chris heard some crying in the hallway, he was still up working on some projects because he was an avid night owl even though he tells you need to get more sleep as per doctors order but that’s besides the point right now.

“Bubba, what’s going on hunni why are you in the dark crying huh?” He asked you whispering to not aggravate, whatever was going on more since he had an inkling of what it could be, since it was a common occurrence that he hated more than he would admit.

“Da- dad it hurts my he- ad hurts so bad.. and I threw up I hate it” you said chocking out a sob

“Oh lovey, I know you’re okay well done for letting it happen.” He reassuringly knowing you had a deep fear of throwing up. “Let’s go get into my bed and I’ll go get your auto injector, some Zofan and some kinderlyte - do you want wild berry or grape?”

“Grape please dad, it’s too bright and can we cuddle please?” Y/n mumbled nestled in her dads neck.

“Of course lovey let’s get you cuddled up with Rory and dodger and I’ll be right back, okay.” He said cuddling her up with Dodger in his duvet and Rory her cuddly dragon. Not forgetting to give her a kiss on her head before he heads downstairs.

Whilst Chris goes downstairs to get everything you needed to hopefully get some sort of sleep and relief Dodger just knew you weren’t doing well so he came from his spot at the bottom the bed and nestled into your side knowing that would give you some comfort at least until Chris got back.

“Right bub let’s get this bit out the way because I know you don’t wike it,” he said motioning to the auto injector box now taking up residence on his bedside table with the zofan and a hydroflask full of kinderlyte with a straw lid of course. “Then we can cuddle and watch Cars 2 okay.”

“Mhmhm can we just get it over with please dad I hate my brain” y/n whimpers tears still ever present over the fear of the auto injectors pain but the relief makes it like a burning hell to get said relief.

“Right 1,2 - *click* I know baby I know” he reassures whilst the injection goes in y/n sobbing that the sting of the liquid going into her thigh.

Chris just picks her up gently from his bed to put her into his chest to comfort her knowing how much pain she’s in, it hurts him more then he’d like to admit.

“Bubba, drink some of this before you fall asleep.”He whispers knowing that you were close to it because when your migraines took effect in the early hours it makes you more tired than usual.

“Mmmmm ‘ove you da-” you said after sipping a considerable amount of the drink but just enough not to make you sick again.

“I love you too sweetheart, if i could take it away I would, you are amazing lovey.” Chris mumbles cuddling his little girl he would swap places with her anytime, any day just to not see her like this.

——————

I feel like I always do major fluff then it turns into angst at the end, but I loved this one because I’ve had more migraines than I can count in the last week but I hope you guys like this one. I took inspiration from @lilithneedslove & @reginaphalange2403 migraine fics too, go show them some love 💖

I’m also quite surprised I wrote this in about 2 hours too lmao💀 it’s a new record. And Rory the dragon is my actual comfort animal ofc 💕

Comments, Reblogs and love is appreciated very much :)

[heartxout]

haikyuu characters as things my friends and i have said:

suga: it’s crazy how good a song is when dj khalid ISN’T in it

noya: if you haven’t almost died while listening to hotel room by pitbull then what are you even doing

asahi: i don’t think that’s a universal experience

tanaka: that buffalo chicken sandwich made me want to be a better person

osamu: someone should put you on a “no fly” list

atsumu: someone should put you on a no BITCHES list

tanaka: this outlet bussy is so snug i can’t even plug my charger in

daichi: please never say anything akin to that ever again

hinata: which way is stage right

kageyama: i don’t know i’m not good at geography

*kenma, kuroo, and lev lying on the carpet, blacked out*

lev: guys, we’re on the floor

kenma: shut the fuck up

kuroo: *uncontrollable laughter*

tsukishima: no offense but i’d rather eat a denim jacket with no chaser

oikawa: attention, could the owner of a 2002 nissan altima please kill yourself

akaashi: i get that you live and you learn, but i’m tired of learning. and i’m also tired of living

yamaguchi: can i use your hydroflask to water my plant

tsukishima: sure. i don’t care anymore

suga: yeah i wanna meet them, let’s just steal their HDMI cable

daichi: that is not how we make friends, suga

kenma: do you guys know any place that does free euthanizations?

tsukishima, to kageyama: did you actually just tell me that you need to sing the alphabet song to know where Y is?

kageyama: what? since when?

oikawa: since uhh fuck you?

bokuto: what if you’re at war and your shoe gets untied?

akaashi: oh my god

[locke-writes]

5 Things That Make You Feel Like You

List 5 things that, no matter what, make you feel the most like yourself. Can be looks, hobbies, quirks, mannerisms, interests, anything!

Tagged By: @jammesbarnnes & @moonlit-imagines (thank you both!)

Did I need explanations for my choices. Nope. I did anyway

Odd Socks - I don’t have a single pair of normal plain socks anymore. I haven’t decided on today’s pair but I picked up some new ones yesterday and so I think it might be going to the Fanta Orange socks

Playing Cards - I collect them, any brand, any type, plain or patterned or themed. It also helps sometimes to have a pack of cards with you in case you get bored

Using Sticky Notes to Tab Quotes - I hate writing in books. I don’t know why. It doesn’t bother me when other people do it and in fact I enjoy getting used copies that people have written in so I can see what they loved or what was deemed important to them. But I hate writing in books so instead I have Post-It strips which are meant for tabbing things and I use them whenever there’s a quote that I would highlight if I didn’t think I’d come to regret highlighting in books

Stickers on Everything - Honestly this is a habit that started a few years ago after my brother got a HydroFlask and wanted to decorate it. The stickers he didn’t want I pulled what I liked and now I’ve got a bad habit of buying stickers and putting them on everything. My own water bottle, notebooks, a steamer trunk I own. Nothing is safe from having a sticker put on it and those stickers currently purchased are Powerpuff Girl stickers in case you were wondering

Film Memorabilia - I’m not talking movie posters or Funko Pops although I do have the latter (not so much the former although I have a framed poster of my film, a poster of Click! that Adam Sandler movie [there is a story behind that.], and a lobby card from the 70s for A Clockwork Orange). No I have old film cameras, editors rigs, anything that might have once been used for film production you’ll see me collecting it. I’m not even stopping once I run out of room to put cameras on display.

Tagging: @aryn-the-bearheart @welldonebeca @emcon-imagines @randomfandomimagine @royaltywhxre @imaginesbymk and anyone else who wants to because I know I’m missing a lot of people

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

kandrew headcanons

one of their cats is named Alexandria

one of their dogs is named Helen of Troy. kevin always calls her Helen; andrew calls her Troy or “hey you”

kevin is incredibly touch-starved and andrew Does Not Convey Physical Affection All That Much so they compromise and either hook pinkies or knock elbows (if they don’t roll each other’s heads first with their respective racquets but u kno)

andrew very seriously teaches kevin some effective self-defense moves, usually against opponents bigger and heavier than oneself

in case he’s ever not in the same place at the right time, but andrew never hands out truths on a silver platter

kevin figures it out well enough on his own

in return kevin buys andrew pepper spray so he doesn’t have to get his hands (or their very nice carpet) dirty

and andrew just Looks at him and holds up his armbands with knives in it and kevin just Looks back and is like, “are you trying to prove my point? because you’re proving my point”

“if you crave human touch you don’t have to start a fight to get it. just come to me.”

“i hate you.”

“our relationship depends on it.”

“110%, day.”

“oh? wasn’t i at 200%?”

andrew walks away at this point

kevin is competitive as fuck so he is, predictably, always trying to maintain the highest percentage of andrew’s “hate”

this, predictably, only incenses andrew even more, thereby raising the percentage

kevin calls andrew “andy” when he’s feeling catty

andrew calls kevin “kev” when he’s feeling petty

kevin calls andrew English pet names when he wants to be smug about it but uses French ones when he wants to be intimate and sweet

andrew does not like it

he likes it

andrew uses his eidetic memory to memorize the ancient Egyptian section of the university library

and absolutely flusters the living fuck of kevin

kevin drags them both to history trivia night (weekly extra credit)

they win, easily, surprising the professor and everybody in their class

(they maybe also kind of out their relationship but nobody says anything bc andrew. and wristbands. hidey-hidey. known “psychotic” midget)

generally-speaking, andrew weaponizes his eidetic memory to capitalize on kevin’s nerd brain 

andrew presses a thumb to kevin’s cheekbone right over where his queen is when he wants kevin’s undivided attention

kevin says “Yes or no?” when he wants andrew’s

the uno reverse play annoys andrew but it also endears him more to kevin bc he’s learning

one day they talk about dying, and dying before each other, and dying at an expedited rate because of their addictions. they agree to try to wean off of their individual vices. or actually do something about it

bee gets wymack and abby to stop enabling kevin during his breakdowns and helps andrew and kevin both ingrain healthier alternatives. i.e. sweet candies for andrew and coffee liquor/soda combinations + watered down alcohol + smoothies for kevin.

wymack permanently locks down his alcohol cabinet

bee has the only key

and she is immovable

abby has every local liquor store in a 10 mile radius blacklist kevin

Kevin Hates Every Adult in Vicinity

kevin keeps candies and lollipops on himself for andrew, ranging from really sweet stuff to really sour to really bitter. just the whole Taste Crew. occasionally he has to make an emergency run to the store for bins of ice cream because Withdrawal Sucks Butt and andrew needs a stronger shock to his system

andrew keeps hydroflasks of kevin’s smoothies/soda&cofee liquor cocktails in the maserati

sometimes if kevin wants to be gay on court he will toss a lollipop to andrew after they wrap up drills and congratulate him on a job well done

“are you treating me like a maladjusted dog, day?”

“not a dog. a cat, maybe.”

“you’re despicable.”

andrew takes the lollipop tho. it’s always sweet

they manage their addictions, eventually. riko’s dead and kevin stops associating imminent doom with hangovers and andrew sits at the edge of the roof staring at nothing in particular

sometimes when it gets really, really bad, and kevin can’t do anything but curl up into a fetal position, andrew brings him to wymack

wymack and abby take turns caring for kevin while andrew remains on standby

bee eventually has to take andrew away so that he doesn’t drive himself into a pit of self-loathing with how helpless and useless he is. she guides him to a more tolerable state of mind

renee helps a lot in this regard. she takes him sparring, and they go shopping for swords

having a permanent mental reserve of Cool Shit Medieval Knights Have Done and a history buff not-boyfriend can do that to you

aaron actually sort of helps, in his own constipated way. he chides his brother for being arrogant enough to assume that he’s the only thing around capable of dragging kevin out of a dark place

andrew knows he is though--it’s been that way for the longest time, for so many different people. but when aaron snaps it at him, he has the realization that maybe that isn’t Fact anymore

not with all of the Foxes at their backs

these self-imposed burdens ease up somewhat, when the truth of the matter settles in

anyway, nicky brings andrew mint ice cream and strawberry sherbet and he’s Okay. actually okay

eventually, wymack calls:  “kevin wants to see you. get over here”

when he gets there kevin just pulls him into the longest hug of his life

and when kevin calls him his lune et étoiles andrew almost wants to say it back in every language he’s ever wanted to learn

he can’t, of course. not yet, anyway

but he will learn

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

Why the “reclaim bimbo” trend has taken off and why I fucking hate it so much

I think most people are familiar by now with the whole Bimbofication trend by now - the movement that says that it’s woke and feminist, actually, to completely lean into sexist and objectifying stereotypes - and now I’m going to try to articulate why I hate it so goddamn much. @classical-dyke already made a great post about how bimbo-ism can be seen as a mainstream cultural response to the VSCO trend, and we all know that corporations will jump on any trend that allows them to sell you stuff (I could argue that Hydroflask and performative environmentalist companies made a killing off of VSCO but whatever) so I’m not gonna talk about those.

What I am gonna attempt to articulate is the way that (white) feminism and performative activism have strayed so far that they’ve circled back to bite themselves in the asses.

Performative activism - emphasis on “perform”

The modern social media landscape has evolved such that it is more important to appear “woke” than to actually be involved in, or even know anything about, the issues you discuss. We all know this. It’s why giant corporations bust out the rainbows every June and why I have to suffer through endless MCU #Girlboss edits.

On an individual level, it means that every single thing you do online has to be tied in to your personal politics, and god help you if those politics aren’t the right ones. Every musician you listen to has to be a shining star of social responsibility. Every show you watch either needs to be completely unproblematic, or you have to prepare a fully sourced essay with MLA-format citations about Why It’s Okay For You To Like This Thing Because It Helps You Process Your Personal Trauma Or Whatever to whip out every time you make a post. The whole CARRD/putting your life story in your bio thing.

And in the case of bimbos, insisting that liking crop tops and glittery eyeshadow means you’re a communist, actually.

I think capitalism sucks and pushing back against the endless waves of advertising and monetizing is great. Every time I see someone selling t-shirts of a current event that happened 5 minutes ago I vomit in my mouth a little. But people have taken it to such extremes now that if you profess to like material goods or anything mainstream, you’re an evil dirty capitalist and also complicit in everything wrong in society.

Nobody is allowed to just like stuff anymore. You either have to loudly and constantly proclaim how horrible it is or loudly and constantly explain why you like your pink lip gloss and why it’s okay and doesn’t conflict with your infallible wokeness. So what we end up with is this group saying that not only is having your tits out on social media leftist, the two are actually intrinsically tied.

Not Like Other Girls, pink flavor

When I was in high school, I wore baggy t-shirts and sneakers instead of makeup and high heels and dresses. I read books and had smart people thoughts instead of listening to pop or having crushes on boys. I was Not Like Other Girls (the unspoken implication here being that I was better than other girls) because I didn’t rely on shallow physical beauty and sex appeal for a sense of self-worth. 

(What I actually was, was fucking gay, but I didn’t realize that until halfway through college. Also, pop music is catchy and fun.)

Bimbos wear lots of makeup and glitter. They like the color pink and tight skirts and mesh tops. They act ditzy and suck at math. They are Not Like Other Girls because they can lean into their femininity and sexuality, even going so far as embracing an insulting stereotype created by the men they profess to hate, without compromising their sense of self-worth. In fact, it’s the source of their empowerment!

Do you see a common thread here?

Targeting impressionable young girls

What we get here is a perfect storm of factors that lead to young girls sexualizing themselves and calling it empowerment.

Being a teen or pre-teen is hard. You’re trying to figure out who you are as a person, how to navigate into adulthood, and all you want is to have some goddamn agency in your decisions. And that’s why the bimbo movement fucking sucks, because it takes attractive social and political ideologies (human rights! gender equality! lgbt inclusivity! making personal choices apart from societal expectations!) and then ties it to a full face of expensive makeup and a Victoria’s Secret push-up bra, and now you have 14-year-olds with their tits on TikTok thinking that they’re participating in some sort of radical self-liberation movement. And they can get away with it because they know the proper buzzwords to say to get the Purity Police off their backs.

In some ways, it feels like a betrayal. One of the big draws of feminist/leftist circles for many women was this idea that you don’t have to look Like That to get respect as a human being. You don’t have to be hot and sexy and flawless to have worth. It was a space where you could learn to divorce yourself from mainstream media expectations, to figure out which choices you made because they actually made you happy vs. the choices you made because you liked the rewards society gave you for conformation. But now here come the bimbos with their flawless contour and their surface-level communist rhetoric, and it just completely muddies those waters.

Tl;dr

You are allowed to like things without having to give a full moral justification for it, and that includes liking mainstream things.

Adhering to modern beauty standards while saying you’re doing it for yourself, actually, isn’t the radical move you think it is.

Encouraging minors to hypersexualize themselves is bad.

[drawlfoy]

The Wonders of Ohio P.4

masterlist - find parts 1, 2, and 3 here

request guidelines

did you miss me :P

pairing: draco x reader

requested: by prepubescent me

summary: american high school student y/n y/l/n’s senior year gets turned upside down when her family hosts a british exchange student that’s clearly keeping some secrets.

warnings: language and drug use mentions

a/n: hi everyone...i know that this has been a long time coming but. here she is. i finally finished this after the draft sat for over 6 months...here she is though! i’m excited weeee

tags tags tags

word count: 2k

music recs: hate candidate by BLOODHYPE, archie, marry me by alvvays

“No, no,” Y/N interrupted,  gently pushing Draco’s hands away from his locker. “It’s right to the number, left past the next number once, and right straight to the last number. You twist it right to reset it...no, like this...”

“This is pathetic, I don’t even need to put anything in a box in the wall,” Draco snarled, his gray eyes flaming.

“It’s really not that deep,” she said, snorting at his attitude. “Do they not have locks in England?”

Instead of answering, he huffed dramatically and scowled. “Open it up for me, will you? It’s not worth my time to learn.”

“You’re going to be here for a whole year, you know.” Y/N’s remark contradicted with her actions as she reapproached the locker and twisted out the combination. “But how can I say no to you, ever the gentlemen?”

She held out a hand out expectantly as he stared at her, his eyes full of confusion. 

“Your phone,” she said.

“My...my what?”

“I know, it’s weird, but they prohibit phones in orientation. Something about bonding or whatever. Just give it here, and we’ll keep it in here. If it goes off in any of the activities they’ll take it from you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, okay, I respect that attitude.” Y/N smirked, patting him on the shoulder as he flinched away from her. “Just don’t be mad at me when they confiscate it until 2.”

He stared at her for a few seconds longer before clearing his throat and nodding. 

<^>

The speeches at the beginning were always the longest part--the unnecessary dramatization of the importance of high school, the faux motivation mantras, the “love yourself” bits ironically being performed by some of the most insufferable members of the ASB--and Y/N was ready to get it over with, Draco seemed to feel the same way, as every time she looked at him, he looked another shade of uninterested.

She tried poking fun at the performances a couple times to see his reaction, and surprisingly enough, it was slightly well received.

“You see the redhead down there?” she whispered to him, gesturing towards the current speaker with her chin. He gave her a tight nod in response. “That’s Heather, our ASB president. She’s a total tool. Spews all this ‘vaping in the bathrooms isn’t cool!’ shit but one time I walked in on her doing lines in the performance wing bathrooms. She’s crazy, I’m telling you.”

Draco seemed amused at this, resting his cheek in his palm and watching her intently. “Lines?”

“Cocaine.”

“Cocaine?”

“You know what? I’m gonna quit while we’re ahead. I don’t want to be the one to corrupt you.”

Draco scoffed. “You’re worried about corrupting me?”

“Well, yeah,” she said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know what cocaine is.”

He sniffed at this, turning his attention back to Heather’s mind-numbing anti-bullying presentation that was clearly put together moments before. Silence ensued for the next few moments before Draco sucked in a breath and turned to look at her. “What’s an ASB?”

“Oh, you should be so glad that you have to ask that,” Y/N stage whispered. “It’s student government. It’s an acronym for something. I never cared enough to remember it. The elections are super corrupt--it’s basically a popularity contest. They don’t do anything either...I don’t even know why it exists anyways.”

“So I take it you’re not popular?” 

“By choice, I’ll have you know,” Y/N pointed out. “I just made friends with the people I had stuff in common with. We all just happened to not be big fans of putting vodka in our Hydroflasks and the like...What I mean by that is that we aren’t big partiers.” She was quick to clarify when she saw the confusion on Draco’s face. 

He didn’t seem to understand any more of what she had said, or at least didn’t show any interest in it, scooting away a few inches from her and turning his head back to Heather’s speech.

The presentation ended within another 10 minutes, much to Y/N’s delight. One had been enough for her--two orientations was pushing it.

Maybe that’s why all the ASB kids are so awful she thought to herself as they made they way to Draco’s first class on the schedule. If I had to be here every year, I’d probably be a grade A rat as well.

“How’d they put you in AP Physics C?” Y/N asked him as they walked into the science lab. “I’m in your same period...and I had to take two years of physics before that to be qualified to take it. Did you take a Physics A level or something? Is that what they call it?”

Draco blinked twice. “Er...sure. My professors told me that I was skilled in Arithmancy, if that’s what you mean..?”

“Arithmancy? Is that just a fancy word for math?” she pressed. “I thought you guys just called it maths.”

“You could say so.”

Before she could push for any more answers, someone behind them cleared their throat. Y/N spun around, her face lighting up when she saw who it was.

“Mr. Whitacre!” she exclaimed. 

“Y/N, my least favorite student,” he greeted, a cheeky smile concealed by a rather bushy black beard. “I’m surprised they haven’t kicked you out of orientation. Haven’t you head? This is supposed to be an event for new students...not jaded old souls such as yourself.”

“Oh, you know me.” She rested one of her hands on a lab table, raising an eyebrow. “I just couldn’t stay away from the thrilling suggestion of physics.”

“Sure. And you are...” 

Draco just stared at him for a few seconds with a disgusted expression until Y/N elbowed him in the side, hard. “You’ll have to excuse Draco. He’s still going through jet lag. Aren’t you, Draco?” 

Y/N sent him a death glare until he wiped the expression off his face and uttered an awkward, “Er, yeah.”

The rest of orientation was just as uncomfortable and unnatural as Draco’s introduction to Mr. Whitacre. Y/N was surprised to see that they had a very similar schedule as Draco seemed entirely clueless to what the subjects even were. She mentioned her concerns to him briefly, but he seemed entirely unbothered.

“It can’t be any harder than school back home,” he told her in his prim and proper voice, prompting a small smile to grow across Y/N’s face. 

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, her voice hardly containing her sarcasm.

The rest of the morning was spent toiling around each of the empty classrooms and memorizing room numbers so Draco wouldn’t be lost come Thursday morning. Y/N wasn’t having an entirely terrible time, as, much to her surprise, Draco wasn’t a complete dickwad. There were moments where he actually had something interesting or worthy to say, and when he didn’t look like he just stepped in something disgusting, she enjoyed the walks between classes. By the end of 5th period, she had concluded that Draco could make absolutely anything sound beautiful in his accent.For once, they were both being entirely civil to each other, and Y/N found herself wishing that the school day went on a bit longer. At least...until the walk to French.

“Excuse me,” a voice carried over Y/N’s as she was in the middle of telling Draco some particularly hot gossip from last year. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

Heather stood to their left, leaning coolly on the wall of lockers, her right shoulder just subtly dropped in their direction. 

“Hey Heather,” Y/N greeted. “This is Draco. He’s our exchange student this year.”

“Hello.” Draco’s voice was stiffer than usual.

She smiled, her lips stretching out over perfectly straight white teeth. “Hi Draco! Listen, I know it can be hard here at first, especially if you haven’t grown up around here, but I swear we’re all super friendly.” She held out her hand, smiling even wider. Y/N hardly managed to hold back a laugh as Draco took it and limply shook it like one would fondle a dead fish. 

Heather’s face remained just as cheery. “I just want to say that, as ASB president, it’s my job to make sure you feel like you fit in. Let me give you my snapchat, so if you ever need anything, I’m just one snap away.”

“Oookay, thank you Heather,” Y/N interrupted, wrapping her fingers around Draco’s sleeve and pulling. “I’ll give it to him tonight if he wants it. We have to find French now.” She couldn’t tell if it was just her imagination, but she swore that she could see Draco send her a slightly grateful look.

“AP French? Quelle coïncidence! I’m headed there too.”

No matter how briskly she dragged Draco along, Heather was able to catch up and chatter away, asking him about life in the UK and how he found Americans. She couldn’t help but allow a little smirk when he answered, telling her “a little annoying, quite frankly.” 

French was even more insufferable than she was expecting it to be. The strict teacher, M. Smith (despite being more American than everyone in the room, yes, he did insist on being called Monsieur), coupled with the weird, forlorn glances Heather kept sending Draco made Y/N feel crushingly uncomfortable. With the way that Draco was fidgeting, she could guess that he felt the same way. 

Suddenly, 2 couldn’t come soon enough.

<^>

“So, what’d you think?” Y/N asked as they made their way back to Y/N’s car. She toyed with her lanyard, turning and twisting the keys until they couldn’t twist anymore. 

Draco stepped over to the passenger side door, waiting for her to press unlock. “Your friend Heather is very friendly.”

“She’s not my friend, Draco, I already told you that.”

“She certainly comes up to talk to you a lot for someone who isn’t your friend.”

She shifted into drive and began pulling out of the parking lot. “It’s an American thing. And plus, she wouldn’t be talking to me if I didn’t have a pretty boy with an accent living with me.”

Draco froze up, sending her a weird sideways look.

“Don’t be so overdramatic, kiddo,” she continued. “American girls go crazy for British accents. Trust me. There’s going to be so many girls throwing themselves at you come tomorrow that you won’t even know what to do with yourself.”

Y/N tried to keep the bitterness from creeping into her tone as she told Draco this. It wasn’t like she liked him or anything--no way--it was just frustrating to know that the moment he stepped foot on the school grounds tomorrow, he would be snapped up into a flurry of admirers. These few days had felt like she was keeping a delicate, sophisticated secret in the guest room in the hall over, but it was time for her to snap out of it. 

“The feeling certainly isn’t mutual,” he finally said. Y/N could see that his head was rested against the window as he looked out into the trees as they passed by a particularly wooded area. “American accents give me a migraine.”

“Funny, me too.”

“But you have one.”

“Your point? Pass me the Advil.”

“The...the what?”

Y/N sucked in a deep breath and tried to keep herself from bursting out into a cackle. “Paracetamol, maybe? I think that’s the British version.”

“Er...I’m sorry?” Draco had moved his head from its resting place on the window to send her a confused look.

“Forget about it.”

The drive back was silent for the rest of the way. Upon arriving, Draco made a beeline for his room and made no indication of wanting to come back out, so Y/N spent the rest of the evening ironing out her physics problem sets and getting her backpack ready for school. 

My last first day she thought to herself as she zipped her binders and pencil pouch up, a hint of nostalgia threatening to choke her up for a moment. 

The entire situation felt eerie and strange. All her life, she’d been waiting to get out of school so she could go to college and meet new friends and have her fun life experiences, and now it was all beginning to happen. She tried to imagine how Draco must’ve been feeling in that moment and could hardly manage to come up with anything she could relate to. He’d been uprooted from his home, his family, his life, all to move to fucking Ohio of all places to finish out school. Y/N would feel a twinge of pity if he wasn’t such a prick.

Which, by the way, now that she really thought of it, was perhaps becoming overshadowed by all the little things she noticed about him. Obviously, he was very pretty, but there was something else just magnetizing about him that she’d never seen before in a person. The way in which he carried himself, the regal manner he spoke in, the delicate and practiced motions of his hands whenever he did anything menial--it all added up to paint Draco as the picture of elegance. She came to the realization that she’d never met anyone quite like him before as she was getting into bed and turning her lights off. He seemed so incredibly detached from reality, but decidedly so, that she couldn’t help but feel fascinated with it all. 

And he was all hers to figure out for the next 9 months. 

final a/n: huhhhh isn’t that funny that i actually came out with a different fic than i said i would? i think i want to do that quarantine thing a little bit later and make it a series. i’ve planned that i want to finish mirror, mirror in the coming weeks and then transfer to writing the “one shot” that was scheduled to be posted today as a series as well as this. exciting stuff to come!

[virtueangel]

can i rq some general headcanons for Scudworth please?

General Headcanons for Scudworth

Scudworth listens to 100 gecs, obviously. He only really knows the popular songs like stupid horse and money machine, but they are always playing in the background. While he’s doing laundry, while he and Mr. B are making dinner, while he’s working, etc. 100 gecs is always playing. 

Scudworth only ever wears his lab coat to work, but on the weekends, he wears Hawaiian shirts and corduroy pants that clash horribly. He also cuffs them, because he genuinely doesn’t know that that’s a bisexual culture thing. He wears coloured Converse that don’t match because he thinks that’s what the “cool kids” are doing nowadays. He gets a lot of his fashion inspo from TikTok. Honestly, he just does not know how to dress in general, but Mr. B tells him he looks good anyway.

Scudworth absolutely has a TikTok account. He thinks he’s so cool for getting 1k views on his videos. He also doesn’t have a specific theme for his account, he just attempts to do the trends and learns some of the dances. He did the “why do good girls like bad guys” trend in its prime, and that’s his most popular video, so he still whips it out every once in a while because he doesn’t understand that trends on TikTok fizzle out. He always tells Mr. B when his like or follower count goes up, because he thinks 800 followers is really impressive. Mr. B does not match his enthusiasm at all, but Scudworth doesn’t notice. 

In an attempt to connect with some of his students, Scudworth tries to skate. He has Mr. B scope out locations where he can show off his skills, and Mr. B heroically gives him lesser-known locations so he can’t embarrass himself in front of a bunch of people. 

Scudworth also had an eboy phase. That’s it. That’s the whole headcanon. Eboy Scudworth, take it or leave it.

Honestly, Scudworth acts a bit like a teenager having fun. He thinks he’s a teenager. He tries desperately to relate to the students at Clone High. He’s the teacher who swears they’re cool and hip but is actually just annoying. He’s always trying to talk to them about TikTok trends or new apps that are “in” right now. He acts like he knows what Among Us is, but he tried to play it once and did not grasp the concept at all. He tries to get Mr. B to help him cheat, but Mr. B doesn’t have the ability to do that. Scudworth thinks he’s just being difficult. 

Scudworth sometimes tries to drudge up old trends because he doesn’t understand that they aren’t popular anymore. He buys a Hydroflask and a metal straw because he thinks VSCO girls are still in style. He also doesn’t understand the difference between most aesthetics, like indie and y2k. He buys some Hello Kitty stickers for his Hydroflask because he’s trying to be “relatable”, but everyone just thinks it’s odd for a grown man to have a children’s character on his water bottle. 

[maybankiara]

I DON’T WANT TO MISS A THING

pairing: JJ Maybank x Kiara Carrera

prompt: destination

summary: JJ drives Kiara off to college, and he’s not completely okay with that.

word count: 2.2k

a/n: a day late, but my third fic for jiara week is here. lil angst lil fluff of an established relationship and fear of abandonment makes for a good story, i reckon.

masterlist | tag list

read on archive of our own

For once in his life, JJ is quiet.

  Kiara isn’t a big fan of that.

  ‘How do you feel about some music?’

  She reaches into her backpack and takes out her phone. JJ watches her from the corner of his eye, attention fixed on the road ahead, and all he gives in response is a vague hand gesture that not even he is sure what it’s supposed to mean.

  Long Train Runnin’ by the Doobie Brothers starts playing. Usually, Kiara is more into the likes of Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, and probably any other Bob there is. JJ is into rock, but something that borders on punk, or metal – this is something they both agree on, and he’s thankful for that.

  This is good. This is familiar.

  (JJ could use a good, healthy dose of familiar right now.)

  ‘Want me to take over?’ asks Kiara, nodding at the steering wheel.

  He glances at her, shaking his head. ‘I’m good.’

  John B’s car comes to a halt at a red light, and lets JJ take a breather. He rests his elbow on the side, hanging his hand out of the window. The breeze is there, with no salt to it, no freshness, and it only reminds him that they aren’t in Kildare anymore.

  Kiara turns around in her seat and the Twinkie screeches. The red light is long enough for her to take sandwiches out of the back, give him one and take one for herself.

  JJ’s touch is light when he pushes her hand away.

  ‘You haven’t eaten anything today.’

  He starts the car, foot on the gas and hand in his hair, still leaning against the door. ‘It’s still early.’

  ‘Yeah,’ says Kiara, ‘except that we’ve already been up for six hours.’

  She holds the sandwich in her hand again, somehow in a way that, to JJ, screams i am not backing down from this, so he sighs, and asks her if she can unwrap it for him. She’s delighted at this, bobbing her head to the beat of the song as she gives him the sandwich. JJ munches on it with one hand on the wheel, occasionally taking a sip from the hydroflask between them. Kiara entertains herself on her phone, typing away – probably updating Sarah and the pogues on how things are going.

  With one hour left to Appalachian State University, Kiara puts her phone away. JJ doesn’t look at her, but he can tell even from the corner of his eyes that there’s some wheels turning in her head. 

  She nods to herself at some point, her posture going rigid. ‘Okay. We are going to talk about this.’

  He should’ve known this was coming. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

  ‘So you’re perfectly fine with me being gone for almost three months?’ asks Kiara. ‘Not bothering you at all? Not the reason why you’ve been moody since you woke up?’

  ‘I’m moody ‘cause I couldn’t sleep well, ‘cause you kept stirring against me the whole night.’

  ‘Deflecting doesn’t help your case, JJ.’

  In the rearview mirror, he checks for the traffic, then overpasses the car in front of him, hitting quite a bit over the speed limit. There’s a table overhead that he sees in a flash, saying they’ve got thirty miles until they reach the city. The hand on the wheel grows stiff.

  They drive for a short bit with no words and no music. JJ’s face is sour which he knows Kiara is aware of, even if she decided that talking to him about the whole thing isn’t the way to go.

  With fifteen miles left, JJ’s unease grows, and he can no longer sit still.

  There’s a hand on his thigh, gripping it slightly. He glances at his girlfriend – Kiara is giving him the softest smile he’s ever seen, even if he can tell she still hasn’t let go of what happened earlier.

  ‘You don’t have to be worried about me, JJ,’ she tells him, voice gentle and earnest. ‘I’m a big girl. I’ll be okay on my own.’

  Reluctantly, JJ takes one hand off the wheel and places it over Kiara’s smaller one. The touch is enough to send a sense of calm through him – what is he going to do without her?

  So he sighs, gives her hand a squeeze. ‘I’m not worried about you, Kie. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re going to have anything but an amazing time.’

  ‘What is it, then?’

  JJ feels her rest her head on his shoulders, smelling like fresh coconut from washing her hair before they left this morning. He presses his lips against the crown of her head, wishing the moment could last longer.

  He wants her hand to remain in his for as long as they’re both alive – the sense of calm and security is what only she can give him, and he’s not ready—or willing—to give up on that just yet.

  ‘What if you have such an amazing time that you forget about me? About the pogues?’

  The road is straight, and he’s staring down it as if his life depended on it.

  ‘JJ—’

  ‘You asked, Kie,’ he says, not looking at her. He feels his jaw tense and he relaxes it, forcefully. ‘I’m sorry you don’t like the answer.’

  ‘I don’t like it because it’s bullshit. I could never just forget you. Or the pogues.’

  ‘You say that now.’ JJ glances at her with a half smile with no cheerfulness in it, before darting his eyes back at the road. ‘Look, home isn’t great, we all know that. The constant shitty war between us and the kooks, it is what it is. Life on the Cut is a fuckin’ disaster, you and Pope both are leaving the island, and John B and I are stuck there, working our asses off with no end in sight. It’s not something you want for the rest of your life, and I know you’ll figure it out sooner or later.’

  There a beat of dead silence, and then—

  ‘Stop the car.’

  JJ stares at her. ‘Kiara, we’re on the highway—’

  ‘Get off. There’s an exit coming up.’

  ‘What are you—’

  ‘Now, JJ!’

  He spins the wheel fast enough for the tires to squeal, and Kiara’s hands shoot up onto the handlebar above her head. The exit is in a sharp turn and someone honks at them and JJ mutters an apology as they take off the highway onto a smaller road. She’s still quiet as he pulls up at the small gas station at the very beginning of the road, parking behind it.

  Then she turns around to him, and he can’t read her face.

  ‘I know you’re not an idiot so don’t act like one, JJ.’ Her voice is stern and powerful, enough to make JJ think she’s close to having an outburst. ‘You know how much you mean to me, right? You and Pope and John B and Sarah?’

  JJ nods, but reluctantly, and only because it’s asked of him.

  Kiara purses her lips, eyebrows furrowed. ‘I love the island. I love the Cut. I love the way I feel when I'm with you guys, and the fact that it’s bad sometimes, the fact that it has ups and downs, that’s why I love it. And I know—’ She cuts herself off, pulling her lips into her mouth. Her eyes soften and she lets out a shaky breath, regaining her composure. ‘I know your experience of the place is different, but the island is my home. You are my home. I’m not giving up on it.’

  He wants to remark that she should stop being so emotional, or that home can change, but this is Kiara – Kiara Carrera, the girl who cares so much about the people she loves that kindness oozes out of her, and her biggest flaw is that she wants to help everybody even when they don’t really need it.

  JJ’s back relaxes into the door and his head falls against the glass, letting out a small thud. He isn’t crying—he’s too exhausted for that—but he feels like it.

  He’s never been anyone’s home. The idea of being Kiara’s is almost more than he can bear – except it isn’t.

  He understands it.

  When he opens his eyes and they meet hers, he’s surprised to find gentle and soft and worried, a stark contrast from the power in her words.

  JJ reaches forward and plants a kiss on her lips; a brief touch of sincerest intimacy, and a promise to the both of them.

  ‘Okay,’ he whispers. ‘I trust you. If you say nothing will change, then I trust you, dammit.’

  Her arms wrap themselves around him until they’re chest against chest, burying heads into each other’s shoulders. JJ holds her close and he holds her tight, eyes squeezed shut against her collarbone.

  There’s a difference between saying i love you and you are my home, and JJ thinks that maybe they have been the latter for as long as they’ve been the former. When he thinks of home, there’s always Kiara, and that’s the way it’s been for years now.

  He doesn’t say you're my home, too, because he’s JJ Maybank and he doesn’t do shit like that. Instead he just holds her a little longer, and rests his forehead against hers.

  ‘What am I going to do without you?’

  Kiara chuckles, and it sounds a little wet, as if she’s laughing through tears. ‘As long as you’re still alive and mobile when I get back, I’m alright with anything.’

  He smiles, for what feels like the first time today. ‘I wish I could come up.’

  ‘It’s too expensive, JJ. Takes too long. We talked about this.’

  ‘I know, it’s just…’ He sighs, looking into her eyes as he pulls back, his thumb brushing her cheek. ‘I’m going to miss you.’

  ‘Don’t get emotional on me, JJ,’ jokes Kiara, laughing at his eye roll. ‘We’ll be okay. It’s just a few months.’

  ‘Over and over again.’

  Kiara pouts with a finger jabbed into his chest, shaking her head. ‘Nu-uh, buddy, we’re not getting pessimistic here. Who are you to think about things so far in the future, anyway?’ She slaps his face lightly with a smile in hers. Chin up, buttercup. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.’

  JJ sighs. ‘Do I really have to meet your roommate?’

  She quirks an eyebrow at him. ‘Do you want to stay with me tonight?’

  ‘Fair. Meeting roommate Miss Terry it is, then.’

  JJ starts the car, turning around to get back on the highway, as Kiara pretends to scold him about making puns of her roommate’s name. Everything feels a little lighter from then on, with laughter filling out every inch of the beat-up van. They pull up in front of Kiara’s dorm about half an hour later and he helps her pack all her belongings. Terry turns out to be a lovely girl with a spunk that reminds him a lot of Kiara, and they seem to click the moment he leaves for a second to go to the bathroom.

  Most of their day is taken by exploring Boone, and asking strangers to take photos of them (even if JJ tries to ruin every single one of them by goofing out). It’s a lovely town, and his heart sings every time he sees Kiara’s face light up at something they discover. It’s a hand-in-hand walk, and JJ realises how freezing it is to be in a sea of strangers with the girl he loves. 

  They end up spending the night together, as planned, and it’s all cuddles and silent promises over takeout from an independent restaurant. Terry is away at a party and doesn’t come back until noon, and by then, JJ is already on the road.

  He kisses Kiara before he leaves, early in the morning. His hands play with the ends of her hair, twirling the curls around his fingers.

  ‘Once I’ve made enough money, I’ll be here at least once a month,’ he tells her.

  Kiara smiles, covering his hand with hers. ‘Don’t be stupid, JJ. It’s too expensive and takes too much time.’

  ‘Kie,’ is all he says, and he can tell she understands this is indisputable.

  ‘Fine. But wait for me, will you? Don’t go being stupid because your self control is at university.’

  ‘Both self controls,’ JJ jokes. ‘Pope’s also going to be away.’

  ‘God, you and John B are going to annihilate the shit out of the island.’

  ‘They better watch out, then.’ JJ gives her the biggest grin his face allows, and kisses the tip of her nose. ‘I’ll see you on facetime when I get home.’

  She nods and hugs him harder than he’d think it possible for a girl of her stature. ‘Drive safe.’

  ‘Never,’ he says, and pulls out of the hug.

  The Twinkie awaits as it always does, smelling like a mixture of weed, alcohol, the chateau, and the beach. He can now smell coconut, too, as he waves at Kiara through the window, and she blows him a kiss.

  three months isn’t a long time, he thinks as he loses her out of sight, when not even the rearview mirror is enough. we’ll be okay.

  He gets onto the highway, and the Twinkie sets out for home.

  ★

tagging. @jjmaybanky​​ @chasefreakinstokes​​ @drewstarkey​​ @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge​​ @outrbank​​ @juneyxx @drewstarkeyobx​​ @ilovejjmaybank​​​ @teamnick​​​ @jjmaybanksbaby​​​ @mahleeyuh​​​ @nicolewithasoul​​ @kiarawilliams127​​ @starlightstarkey​​ @anonymous0writer​​ @outerbongs​​ @warnettc​​ @jjandreidsgirl @jjmaybanqs @sofiesshitshow @kaitieskidmore1

[yandere-daydreams]

Two words. VSCO. Yanderes. Discuss

This is simply the worst thing I have ever read!! I don’t even want to think about it anymore this is just awful.

Yandere: Hey I think I’m going to kidnap you

VSCO Darling: sksksksk okay but only if I can keep my hydroflask with me and if we can have VSCO sleepovers on your trampoline :)

Yandere: ...

Yandere: Okay maybe not-

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said

My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol

Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited

Jay: I am so bright, I am star

Kai: Pickles and Dick Jay: Pickle my dick? Kai: PICKLE AND DICK! Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?

Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade

Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me

Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler

Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?

Kai: Where you at you little hoe?

Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy 

Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free

Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime

Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor

Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night

Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity? Nya: Jay is that line

Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean

Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem

Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.

Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back

Zane: DISCO PENIS

Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS

Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking Zane: No you’re not

Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong! Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!

All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person

Zane: what state do I live in? Jay: depression

Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?

Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.

Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.

Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick

Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back

Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!

Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?

Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?

Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.

Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit

Jay: Your socks are untied

Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself

Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem

Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon Jay: I already do Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay. Everyone: ...what?

Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes

Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls

Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown

Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub

Kai: Vaccines make you gay

Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much

Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off

Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.

Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.

Kai: Eat my dick

Nya. Bite off your own dick

Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off

Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan

Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine

Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away

Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences

Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.

Jay: Engulf your own dick

Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard

Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose

Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die

Kai: I got royally fucked

Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs

Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!

Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING 

Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys 

The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?

Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade

Kai: My balls are not a muscle

Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls. Lloyd: Wait actually? Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls

Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training

Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"

Kai: You.... dickmuncher

Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.

Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.

Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy

Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty

Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!

Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it

Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU! Kai: My ASS is your spot!

Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking  

Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE

Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!

Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word

Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.

Zane: Is doing drugs illegal

Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories

Jay: Be quiet so I can see

Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?

Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be

Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!

Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good

Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child

Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!

Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.

Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst

Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know

Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"

Lloyd: I consumed a spatula

Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.

Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time

Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy

Zane: I want to delete my meatsack

Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers

Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako

Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on

Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.

Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense

Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there! Kai: That’s hot

Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT

Lloyd: My uncle is  going to sacrifice my body

Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass

Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will

Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen

Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"

Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus

Jay: Fuck a duck Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.

Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry

Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation

Kai: No means no muchacho

Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts

Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible

Lloyd: Say cheese! Kai: Whiskey!

Jay: Who the fucking dammit

Jay: Spongebob square-nuts

Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS

Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch

Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all

Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"

Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.

Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.

Zane: Buses turn me on

Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!

Lloyd: Are y’all on high?

Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.

Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk

Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this

Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.

Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton

Cole, playing Life: Give me children

Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today

Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy

Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!

Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie

Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!

Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet

Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.

Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe

Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD

Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger

Lloyd: How was your day? Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle

Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal

Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese

Lloyd: I lust for the crust

Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!

Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire

Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!

Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN

Jay: No means no in Spanish

Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive

Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with

Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?

Cole: Jay, you suck Jay: More so than you do? Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?

Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO

Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive

Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”

Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!

Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie! Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!

Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me

Cole: It sounds naked! Music!

Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not

Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy" *every person at the table in unison scoots away*

Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!

Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole

Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .

[sevendeadlyheadcanons]

to kick things off-

The Sins + Elizabeth and Elaine in a high-school AU

(You’ll have to forgive me I don’t know how the American school system works,,)

Meliodas-

-The leader of the gang™

-The teachers and students either love him or hate him there’s no middle

-Makes up stories about the school to put people on edge or make them follow through with his schemes (“I heard there was a ghost in the girls bathroom”)

-Absolutely wears one of them jerseys.

-all of the girls adore him even though he literally rolled out of bed looking like that

-probably starts the food fights

-brilliant at pe.

-he’s an absolute madlad

-he has a pencil case but all of his pen caps have been chewed

Diane-

-The loveliest girl you’ll ever meet

-The girl that always has a pad/hair bands for other girls in need

-She’s in all the dance clubs inside and outside of school!! She dances in every play but she can’t act to save her life

-Always wears scrunchies.

-Wants to be friends with everyone.

-Often forgets to do homework/coursework but the teachers let her off because they all love her

-Colour co-ordinates her work. Never writes in black

Ban-

-The kid who connects to the school’s speaker and plays the monsters inc theme

-Him and Meliodas have had beyblade battles in the hallway. They’re intense

-He looks incredibly scary although he’s mostly harmless unless you touch his gf

-taller than most teachers

-“Are you gonna eat that?”

-he is always scruffy- untucked shirt and odd socks.

-Never listens in class and somehow always passes?

-probably also wears a jersey

-never has a pen ever

King-

-If you ever miss class and need to borrow somebody’s notes King is your guy. He writes down things that aren’t even necessary. He writes at lightning speed and is really neat.

-Probably owns a bullet journal in secret

-The best dressed guy in the school. Always wearing designer polos. Nobody appreciates him for it

-his lunch was always stolen by Ban so King started making two lunches and indirectly started making lunch for Ban everyday

-he also makes Elaine lunch

-He has a large pencil case which is organised in rainbow order and if you put a pen in the wrong way you die instantly

-teacher’s pet

Gowther-

-They let him be on the cheer squad !!!

-He probably transferred later and was on his own for a while until the sins picked him up and took him in

-he’s either shy or flamboyant. I can’t make up my mind

-If he’s not with his buddies he’s in the library reading

-him and Slader both watch RuPaul and Queer Eye and talk about it often

-He’s well dressed- although sometimes he dresses in girls clothes

-Has a religious skincare routine

-Is really smart at most subjects but he stays quiet in class. He absolutely sucks at cooking class though

Merlin-

-Once got told off for violating the dress code so she released a bunch of rats in the kitchen to assert dominance

-Knows the principal and apparently has some dirt on him so she hasn’t been kicked out

-Never does the work in class but somehow aces the tests

-Literally a master at chemistry

-Always late because she was caught up in an experiment or something wild

-wears the weirdest things to school

-Arthur’s tutor

-Most teachers are scared of her tbh

Escanor-

-Really intrigued by Merlin

-Merlin is always running late and never brings in lunch so he always makes her some sandwiches and brings her some water

-The kid that can understand Shakespearean language and understands Macbeth on a deeper level

-He’s always dressed well.

-a nice guy to talk to. If your seat is assigned next to his he’ll talk to you and be your buddy and let you use his pens

-probably wakes up at 6am even though school doesn’t start until 8:30

-surprisingly good at pe. him and meliodas are often pitted against each other in basketball

-on good terms with all the teachers. probably buys them all mugs at the end of the year

Elizabeth-

-everyone knows she’s meliodas’ gf

-she’s super clumsy. She’ll forget her pencil case or her lunch and she’ll trip up in the hallway 24/7

-once somebody tripped her up on purpose. everyone turned on that person

-The biggest heart ever,,,

-knows all of the teacher’s birthdays and buys them all cards and chocolate

-will always help if a student is stuck in class or has a situation at home

-buys and writes Christmas cards for the whole school

-always gives extra money in on tag day

-gets along with everyone

-always wearing cute dresses and outfits. Never seen in the same thing twice

Elaine-

-everyone knows she’s ban’s gf but she wants to be so much more than that!!!

-very artsy. makes candles and knits for everyone

-gets all of her brother’s stationary that he doesn’t want anymore.

-She never forgets anything ever.

-probably has a decorated hydroflask

-wears clothes that she got from a thrift shop and revamped.

-very big on recycling

-she once made ban a scarf and it was really ugly but ban insisted on wearing it everyday and booted whoever laughed

-Always decorates the school at Christmas

thank you for reading haha 💛💛

[halfwaythereroyal]

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by the lovely @paniclana​. Thank you!

I’m in the midst of procrastinating, so here we go. 

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

Pink and gold

2.) Name a food you never eat

Deviled eggs. My aunt made some, and I ate maybe 5. I got food poisoning that night and was sick for 3 days. 

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

I’m usually too warm. 

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

I was pureeing mangoes that were starting to go bad. I plan on making mango cheesecake.

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

Twix. 

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

Idk do you count college sports? Probably not so no.

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

I asked, “What?” when my dad asked me to chop up a carrot because I didn’t know he was even cooking. 

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

Anything that has caramel crunchy stuff especially Breyer’s gelato.  

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water because I have a goal of finishing the same amount of 2 of my Hydroflasks. 

10.) Do you like your wallet?

Yesssss, it was a present from my mom. 

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

Pureed mango.

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. The last time I bought new clothes was in May (pink satin blouse). 

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

I don’t remember. It might have been boxing.

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Slathered in butter and salt or kettlecorn. They’re on the same level for me. 

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

My friends in a group chat. 

16.) Ever go camping?

Yes. I think if I went with the right people, I’d have more fun than I did. Stargazing is one of my favorite ways to relax, but it’s hard when you live in places with a lot of light pollution. 

17.) Do you take vitamins?

Nope, but my mom says I should. 

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope. 

19.) Do you have a tan?

Sort of? I’m usually a little brown because I’m in California, and I tan easily. 

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

Chinese food. I don’t really like pizza because bread isn’t my carb of choice. It makes my stomach hurt and doesn’t really fill me. I’m hungry an hour later when I eat bread. 

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

No, but I can’t have ice with it if I don’t use a straw. I don’t like ice hitting my teeth. 

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

Black or grey. 

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

Sometimes, but only on occasions where it wouldn’t be safe for me to drive the speed limit. People in my town are terrible with going over the speed limits, and I’ve almost been hurt for not going above the speed limit. They’ll flash their high beams or drive real close to my bumper. 

24.) What terrifies you?

Looking back and realizing I have made no impact or difference in the world or on people I encounter. 

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

My TV. The TV stand that doubles as bookshelves. 

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

Washing tupperware. 

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

“Oh I think they’re Australian”

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

Cola. I don’t really drink soda though. The bite on the back of my throat when I drink it makes me cry every single time. Plus, my burps come from deep within my chest and can be painful. 

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

Drive through. I like to eat at home where my TV is. 

30.) What’s your favorite number?

8

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

My dad because I was confused why he was asking me to chop a carrot. 

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

Chuck. 

33.) Last song you listened to?

Rain on Me by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande 

34.) Last book you read?

My drug textbook for nursing. The last non-nursing book I read was Dear Girls by Ali Wong which was hilarious. 

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

After a few tries, yes.  

36.) Favorite day of the week?

I don’t really have one anymore since I’ve been chilling at my house since mid-March. Time is a mere concept now. 

37.) How do you like your coffee?

I don’t drink coffee. My body is pretty sensitive to caffeine. 

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

My Adidas running shoes. 

39.) Time you normally wake up?

6:30 AM. I’m trying to reset my sleep cycle to be reasonable. So far, it’s not working. 

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets because the colors are gorgeous, and I don’t have to think about all the stuff I have to do for the rest of the day. 

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

Three, but that’s because I like comfort. They’re pretty lightweight, and I usually only use two because I get hot really quickly. 

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

It’s an elegant, blue and white floral pattern. 

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

Messy because my family was cooking. 

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

I tend to gravitate towards red wine, but that’s more out of familiarity than anything. 

45.) Do you play cards?

No. 

46.) What color is your car?

White.

47.) Can you change a tire?

Probably. 

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

California is my favorite state because I live here, and the weather is perfect almost every day. 

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

I haven’t had an official job. I volunteer a lot though, and my favorite work I’ve ever done is with homeless shelters and clinics. 

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

I have a scar on my right forearm from when I fell and scratched my arm on some rocks at the beach. I was on my phone talking to my friend about a cute guy I saw LOL I drowned that phone too. 

This was a nice break haha back to studying

Tagging: @lebakedbeaute @idylysst @panda-angela @squidlywiddly87 @keeper0fthestars @thottiewinemom @princesss-leiaa @princeabomination @acomplicatedprofession @yourtequilaaunt @thick-dick-daddy-mando