#and I do not have time in my schedule for that degree of insanity right now <3

[giamee]

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍!

... aka something super self indulgent because i'm going insane right now

༊*·˚ featuring ➻ the hsr men

༊*·˚ gia's notes ➻ this is probably gonna get posted way after exam season is over but here it is!!! my coping mechanism!!! i have 3 exams in 8 days im gonna explode bro. and before that i had a THREE HOUR STATISTICS EXAM 😀😀

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 MAKES SURE THAT YOU SLEEP COMFORTABLY.

you've been running yourself into the ground recently with revision- yes, it's important and you need to study to get good grades, as he is more than aware of due to your multiple stressed rants to him when he suggests that you take a break.

it doesn't bother him, not really. he knows that you're beyond stressed right now and don't mean to be so snappy. he just wants to make sure that you're still taking care of yourself despite everything.

he's in your dorm room, not really making much noise, scrolling through reals with his phone on mute, just present to keep an eye on you and get you to take a break whenever it's been a little too long since you've moved from your desk.

it's some time where it's debatable whether it's very late or very early- both of your sleep schedules are fucked- and there comes a little thunk from your desk that interrupts the otherwise silent room.

your boyfriend glances up, smiling in triumph as he sees that you've finally succumbed to the nap that he's been trying to convince you to take for the past... 36 hours? something like that.

and now that your body has finally given in to exhaustion, he springs to action.

you'd been studying for days, you'd done more than enough for your upcoming exam, and a solid few hours of uninterrupted sleep is exactly what you need right now.

he slips off of your bed, his movements quiet and calculated as he sidles up next to you. your glasses are smushed against your face, and he gingerly removes them as gracefully as he can. you stir a little as he does so, and he grimaces, waiting for you to settle again.

it looked like you would wake up if he carried you to your bed- looks like he'll have to improvise.

he snags the fuzzy blanket folded neatly at the foot of your bed, wrapping it around your sleeping form still sat at your desk as best as he can. he then takes one of your smaller pillows, coaxing it between you and the solid wood of your desk as best as he can before admiring his handiwork.

hopefully, you wouldn't wake up with a stiff neck.

and finally, as a cherry on top, he places a kiss to your squished cheek and sits back down to let you take a well-deserved nap.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ BLADE, gallagher, BOOTHILL ++ your faves!

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 IS YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHILE YOU'RE STRESSING.

you don't have to lift a single finger when he's around. luckily for you, his exams finished a lot earlier this term than yours did, leaving him ample time to help you as much as he is capable of.

and what an attentive boyfriend he is! amidst all the stress, you can't help but swoon for him all over again because of how attentive he's being towards you. he just wants you to help you study and not worry about anything else!

if you're hungry, he'll have a plate of food ready for you before the request has even left your mouth. your back or neck is aching due to being hunched over? his strong hands are rubbing circles into the muscle, making you sigh contentedly as the stiffness melts away.

he's honestly like an angel in your time of need.

you feel guilty about how one-sided this all is, but he merely smiles, giving you a quick kiss and assuring you that he understands and just wants you to do well. you almost cried because of how sweet he was being.

once these exams are over, you're definitely going to make it up to him.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ GEPARD, jing yuan, sunday ++ your faves!

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ACTS AS YOUR TEMPORARY STUDY PARTNER.

despite not doing your degree, he's clever, and he knows enough without googling to help you out when you revise.

he's an advocate for the "teach someone about a subject until they understand it as well as you do" and luckily for you, he's all ears... and even if he does get some things a little quicker than your fried brain can explain, he still bites his tongue and plays a little dumb to probe you further with questions to test your understanding.

it'll help in the exam.

you've decided that this is way better than being cramped in a booth in the library- you have the freedom to wave your arms around and pace the room, to fully illustrate your thoughts and knowledge as he flips through the colourful flashcards that you made, reading the answers on the back of each of them, grilling you on the questions like a tiger mum.

he'll be damned if you don't get an A.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ dan heng, DR RATIO, welt ++ your faves!

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 DEFUSES YOU WHENEVER YOU'RE GETTING TOO STRESSED.

in the days leading up to your exams, it was best to describe your stomach as a pit of nerves. it was honestly distracting you from revising, all the pent up anxiety that churned within you until you were on the verge of a meltdown.

and while you may be too stressed to realise all of this and do something about it, your boyfriend's watchful eye realises this.

and so he does what he does best- he makes you feel better.

he pulls your body to rest against his where he lies in your bed, his large hand drawing comforting circles up and down your spine- and after a few minutes he can feel you melt into him, your body finally releasing the pent up stress that it's been holding for too long.

"it's ok to take a break, honey."

you sigh into him, and he hugs you tighter.

"c'mon, let's go outside for a few minutes. it'll help you feel a lot better."

you shake your head.

"you wanna just stay here for a bit?"

he feels you nod against his chest.

"ok, then let's do that."

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ SAMPO, luocha, AVENTURINE ++ your faves!

IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY ... do you want somebody like i want somebody?

the sweet and caring nature of the hsr men is also shown through them being your roommate <3

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

Stay

Author's Note: My period started, I had some feelings, wrote some established relationship fluff/smut; enjoy!

Content Warnings: Rhys uses his daemati powers for a quickie (because he absolutely WOULD and you cannot change my mind on that)

------

It was a mistake to go back to work this soon. My whole body aches, the newly accepted mating bond pulling on my bones like it’s a living thing crawling around beneath my skin. I can’t escape the searing heat of it, not even with the office windows thrown open, the dark lace curtains billowing in the soft autumn breeze. I should be cold enough to wear the sweater I’d stolen off the armchair this morning, but it sits draped over my desk chair instead. 

Rhys had been called back to the Hewn City two weeks before we were scheduled to return from our retreat. Or as he was so affectionately calling it “The Mating Bond Sex Romp of the Century”. We were supposed to have a whole month to ease into newly mated bliss; the extra time was supposed to help with the chafing and general irritation that would come when we inevitably had to separate and return to civilization. And of course Keir had gone and fucked that up for us. We’d flown in last night, and Rhys was gone before dawn this morning. The empty Townhouse was going to drive me insane and training with Cass and Az would have driven Rhys insane, so my only solution was to come into work and handle two weeks worth of paperwork. There’s certainly enough to keep me occupied for the day, except I can’t think straight! The words in front of me blur, the meaning of them nonsensical. I shouldn’t be here! I should be tangled up with my mate; the only thought in my head should be how much deeper I can take him. 

I lean back in my chair, palms pressing into my eyes with a groan of frustration. Stupid fucking Kier! The only sounds I should be hearing right now are my mate’s as I run my lips over his chest, tracing tattoo and muscle and that dark little patch of hair that leads me down…

“Well isn’t this a pretty little thought to walk into.” Even his mental voice is enough to make the bond shiver in delight and I throw down my shields with abandon to let him in further.

“Come here and I’ll make it more than a thought,” I return. We are beyond pretense and formality now. I want-need-him. My body feels like it might burst into flame if his hands are not roving every inch of my skin. I knew the bond would be intense, but not to this degree. I could live or die with just his touch alone.

Night chilled shadows swirl around our shared mental ground like a cat brushing up against its owner. The gesture alone makes me slump down into the seat and sigh. “All worked up, aren’t we?” He purrs, but his voice is strained. 

“I’ll rip Keir’s throat out for this. We were supposed to have more time.” I snarl.

The longer my shields are down, the better my mental view of him becomes, until it looks as if the two of us are standing on an adamant bridge, surrounded by endless starlight. Like this he has free reign to all of me, mind and soul; a brush of his fingers and he can walk into any memory he wants, a flick of his wrist and he can take complete control of my body and I’d be powerless to stop him. We are equals and he makes sure I never forget it, but like this, when there is no damper on his power, when he doesn’t have to hide behind a courtly mask, all his power untampered and wild--there are few things I love more. I love him like this. I love being able to surrender to the power of him, yield my own and let him take control so that I do not have to think beyond the pleasure he’s capable of ringing out of my body.

He reaches out and brushes his fingers over my cheek and I could scream under the heat that flares through my physical body. It’s not quite the touch I want, but it’s enough to make my blood sing.

“I know, love, and I’m sorry.”

I turn my head and press my lips into his palm, catching his wrist so I can keep him right where I need him. “Please,” I whisper, because even here in this space I can’t shake the desperation that claws its way up my throat. “Just for a few minutes. I need you.”

A growl sounds in the back of his throat as he leans in and crashes his lips against mine. It’s a flurry of tongue and teeth, his free hand threading into my hair and I drop his wrist in favor of tossing an arm around his neck. There are too many clothes between us, even here, and I claw unabashedly at his shirt until he gets the hint and magics it away.

There is no feeling like the warmth of his skin against mine. Only when we’re chest to chest, my own top disappearing, does the fire in my veins finally turn from painful to pleasurable. I am warm everywhere he touches, no longer consumed by this insistent ache. I sigh contentedly as I nip at his lower lip.

“Better?” He asks as he slides an arm beneath my ass and lifts me so I can wrap my legs around his waist. My back hits the handrails of our shared mental bridge, the cold stone biting into my flushed skin. 

“A little,” I say as I press soft kisses along his mouth and chin.

He rocks his hips against my still clothed center, the friction so heady it makes me toss my head back and moan, giving him the perfect access to nip and suck at my throat. “I only have a couple minutes, we’ll have to make this quick.”

I don’t want quick. I want that slow rhythm we’d found that first night in the cabin, his hips slowly rocking into mine, his cock dragging through my dripping folds, my nails clawing at his shoulders as he drew moan after moan out of me, until I had begged him to finish inside me. I want the lazy roll of his hips as he holds me against the mattress, taking his time, teasingly nipping at my throat as he tells me how pretty I look around his cock, as he drags out every stroke and thrust until there is not a single thought in my head but him. But the burning beneath my skin is returning, and I can feel the pull of his duties in the back of his mind as if it’s calling to me instead. This is all the time we have right now, I will have to take it.

The rest of our clothes disappear in a rush and he slides right into me, all the way down to the hilt and I let myself scream into the endless darkness of our bond. 

He presses his nose into my neck, where it meets my shoulder as he lets me adjust. Not that I truly need to here, but the gentleness of the motion, how concerned he always is for my well being, makes me want him even more. “I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise.”

I pull him in for another searing kiss, my hands tangling in the silky strands of his hair. “Make it up to me a couple times?”

He slides almost completely out of me before thrusting back in, stealing the air from my lungs in a rush. “As many as you’d like, Darling.”

With the way I feel right now, I don’t think any amount will truly satiate me. I think I may just need him like this for the rest of my immortal existence. 

Pleasure licks up my spine as he speeds up his movements, the stones at my back biting into my skin, keeping me grounded for a few seconds longer. His hands squeeze at my ass, kneading my tender flesh as the motion spreads me open a little more for him. 

“Fuck,” he hisses into my neck. The stars overhead spin and swirl like a glittering storm, darkness leaking off his shoulders as his wings threaten to appear. I rock my hips into his, matching his pace with a swirling motion I know drives him crazy. “Maybe I really should just kill Kier.”

The sound that comes out of me as he hits a spot inside me that makes the bridge shake as my mental grip on the psychic plain slips is more moan than laugh.

“Then I could fly right home and take you like this against every surface in the house.”

I clench so tight around him at the thought that he growls and sinks his teeth into my shoulder in retaliation and I let my head fall back further to grant him more access to me. I want his mark everywhere, to the point no collar of the sweaters I’ve stolen from him can hide them. 

“If you’re asking my permission,” I bite out through a gasp as his fingers slide between my legs, teasing at my clit, pushing me closer and closer to that glorious edge. “You have it.”

His thrusts grow sloppy as his speed increases, his own release barreling towards him as I slide a hand out of his hair and down between the valley of his shoulders. I’ll leave my own marks tonight, so everyone knows he is as much mine as I am his. If his wings were to make an appearance, then this would be where I would trace the thin membrane until I find that spot that drives him crazy. But he’d never bring them out for a quickie, they are too sacred for that. I will settle for his shoulders for now.

My chest brushes his as I gasp for breath, so close to the edge I can feel it in every nerve ending in my body. The bond between us glows warm and bright, filling up every bit of me as he hits that sweet little spot inside me. My eyes screw shut, thigh muscles tightening around his hips as he hits it again and again and again.

“Love you,” he murmurs in my ear. “Love you so much.”

One last thrust and I’m gone, his own release chasing mine as I whimper out his name. 

From somewhere outside of us I hear a male voice call his name, demanding to know if he’s listening. 

Rhys grumbles nonsensically into my neck as he holds me for a moment, my body trembling as it comes down from its high. This is the first time all day I feel like I can breathe and I cling to his shoulders for a moment, begging for more time.

“Better, love?”

I press my lips to the underside of his jaw. “If I say no, will you stay?”

From somewhere outside of me I hear a knock, probably the company’s billing department wanting those expense reports I was attempting to work on earlier. Seems the real world needs things from both of us, regardless of our wishes.

My heart sinks in my chest as I slowly unwind my legs from my mate’s waist and touch solid ground. He is High Lord and despite his protests, I hadn’t been ready to let go of my job, even with a title of my own to deal with, this was territory we would have to deal with eventually, even if we’d had the month we were supposed to.

I stretch up on my toes to kiss him again, gently this time, but there is no less fervor in his response than before. Perhaps that pulling beneath my skin was not just my own need, but his, calling to me from across Velaris. 

“I love you,” I say as that knock rattles the bridge, our mental grip slipping as reality beckons, louder and louder. “I can grab dinner on my way home.”

He steals another kiss like it’s his last meal. “As long as I still get you for dessert.”

And then he’s gone, nothing more than a star flecked shadow curled in the corner of my mind as reality comes crashing back in for both of us. 

I try not to fidget at the uncomfortable wetness between my legs as I straighten the papers on my desk and tell the incessant knocker to come in. I won’t be doing anyone any favors if I start dishing out the same judgment my mate is on Kier here in the office. 

“You got those papers for me?”

I leaf through the stack on the desk, using a bit of magic to hide the glaring scent of my arousal. I just have to make it a couple more hours. Then, Rhys is all mine, and I’ll have to find some creative ways to keep him in our bed until the bond finally settles.

If it ever settles.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

I just know wade would be asking u to grind ur teeth down on it...i just know it....

hi anon ur so right wade actually has you do insane shit to him dick biting is just the BEGINNING‼️😮‍💨 and the first time he suggests it you’re mortified 😭 you’re giving him that gawk gawk 3000 typhoon top but he’s still kinda soft 😰 you’re lowkey worried feeling self-conscious about your head game until he cups your face and swipes his thumb across your cheek

“can i ask you a weird question?”

when you’re having sex with wade wilson, this could lead to literally anything. “does this bump on my nutsack look different than usual?”, “what’s your stance on the death penalty?”, “did i ever tell you about that time i got my dick stuck in the toaster?” you brace yourself for whatever batshit insanity is about to slide out of his mouth.

“yeah, go for it.”

“can you use your teeth on it? just, like… keep doing what you’re doing, please, it’s fucking amazing. i just want a little more texture.”

huh?! is he for real?! but you’ve worked so hard to NOT do that! years of toiling in the dick-sucking mines has trained that right out of you, and he wants you to throw all that away? why?! “uh… are you sure?”

he just laughs in response

“aw, you’re so cute! so sweet, worrying about me like that! think about it. why would i ask for this if i didn’t want you to do it, stupid boy?”

…y’know what? fair enough. you close your teeth around his shaft and cheese grater up and down the length of his throbbing, bumpy cock.

“OH~! fuck, just like THAT, baby, YES~! mmm… fu-u-ck, that’s perfect… like… like you’re trying to bite the batter off a corndog, baby, there you go…”

and when i say it gets worse from there i mean it gets WORSE!!!! like he’ll come up behind you while you’re cooking dinner.

“hey, slutter-butter, you got a minute?”

“uh… yeah, actually!” you put down the knife you were about to use to chop an onion, and spin around to face him. “haven’t really started yet, what’s—“

he’s holding a strap-on.

“yes, hi, this is wade wilson, i’ve got an appointment for a prostate exam at 4PM?”

you smirk and saunter towards him, eager to play along with this spontaneous bit, “hmm… i’m not seeing you on our records, mr. wilson. are you sure it was scheduled for today?”

“i’m not sure, actually. i’ve made that mistake before. but this clinic takes walk-ins, right?”

“yes we do, sir, but today’s been pretty busy.” you wrap your fingers around his on the silicone shaft and pull him into you. “but i’ll see if i can squeeze in you.”

wade bounces and squees with joy and hands you the strap. you don’t even get it all the way on your hips before he’s bending over. onto the stove. where you were preheating a cast-iron skillet.

“oh, shit, WADE—!”

“what?” he stares at you blankly, holding the hot pan you were about to use. he’s silent for a moment, then two, and then it clicks. “oh!” he sets the pan down in the sink, claps his hands together, then points at you. “forgot you’re a normie! logan fucks me over the stove all the time. doesn’t really matter for us, since we’re freaks of nature and third degree burns just tickle us psychosexually, but, uh… would you… wanna try it? do a little flambé action? roasted wade wilson breasts? i promise, it’s fun. it makes me moan like a coked-up whore late on rent.”

you snort at his stupid comparison, and it actually puts your mind at ease a bit. it doesn’t surprise you that him and logan get up to this kinda thing when you’re not around. in fact, you’re actually flattered to be allowed to take part in it. to take advantage of him like this.

“fuck it. bend over, you fucking weirdo masochist.”

“yippee! yay! thank you, daddy!!!”

wade eagerly yanks his shorts down, widens his stance, and slams his bare chest onto the glowing red burner. his leathery skin sizzles with the smell of cooked human flesh.

“ooooh, that feels so fucking good on my right nipple… lemme roll a little, get the other side, ah~! oh-h-h, it hurts so fucking good!!!”

you get into position behind him, but he holds his hand out backwards to halt you.

“wait! one more thing!”

he reaches over and grabs the gigantic chef’s knife, freshly sharpened and pristine, that you had lying on the cutting board next to a soon-to-be mutilated onion, and offers it to you.

“jam this through my palm when i say i’m getting close. that’s the finishing move. have me spraying a whole little league team out my dick.”

[spiralsublime]

G13 with an innocent reader? Or maybe a reader who seems innocent but who won’t fall for his presumably manipulative behavior AT ALL.

(ps I’m really happy you’re doing dimension 20 x reader you made my day!)

(of course this is so fun for me, i'm glad that other people seem excited for it lol, i could probably do this for so many of their seasons lol)

but i love the idea of G13 and someone who matches him in not being played by his dumb shit! look, this lanky, greasy tech nerd is terrifying conceptually to these government organizations and these big realms of space. but to a normie who is not involved in the underground and has a basic job?? oh, this is just a dweeb, who is handy with fixing things.

The Beginning

G13 is so invested in the underground that I think he forgets that he is actually a person existing. So he is just locked into his laptop, headphones on, typing away. People are assholes, he is an asshole, this is how the world works.

I think he would have an immediate issue with people he thinks are attractive, assuming that everyone thinks they are attractive and thus they must be assholes who get everything for free.

But obviously, that's not fair. I think kindness would be the beginning and end of it.

Imagining those goofy animatic of you smiling and his glasses fogging over as he blushes.

G13 solves some (painfully basic to him) tech issue for you and after he deep dives on how sweet you are.

The Not So Good Middle

Look, this motherfucker is a hacker bad guy who owes nothing to no one. He jumps through tech hoops to learn your schedule and more information about you to try and make sure to set up a good meeting situation.

I do think you notice, but it is normal to see people around the city. Likely a joke or two about a small world or maybe you thank your lucky stars that a tech wiz happens to be around because your dog shit tech is always breaking.

He is focused on trying to just be in your presence. Maybe he is talking around trying to basically take you on a date without ever asking.

I think the first show that his manipulation bits won't work, will be in this moment where you call him out. ("You know, you could just ask me out instead of trying to make me ask you or hoping we cross paths.")

Boundaries Made By Flat Acknowledgements

Look G13 is used to talking in code and dancing around realities. This is not how normal people expect to have to interact. I think he isn't used to hearing simply "No".

Just him pushing for you to hang out alone with him more instead of previously made plans. "Aw, baby, thank you for wanting to hang out with me, but let's do that tomorrow." A kiss to the forehead and the man is SPUTTERING.

He tries to be shitty and you grab your bag and stand. "Sorry, it looks like you are pissed with work and taking it out on me. I'll let you cool down."

Just deftly keeping your own space and boundaries. But also you are expicit with helping to find his own boundaries to make sure you are doing right by him and it is INSANE for him.

Miscellaneous HCs

His other hacker friends do Not believe that you are real. For sure they think that G13 made you up.

G13 may understand tech to an insane degree but this man is helpless at basic games. He does not understand how to do crosswords or solitaire and he gets pissed when he tries.

The first time you kiss him he literally panicked and dropped his glasses with how fast he moved back. He then fumbled when you apologized for scaring him. (The second kiss was better.)

He does know how to cook the bare minimum, but only in his own kitchen because he modded all his appliances. (Your microwave was never the same after the first time he slept over.)

Even after dating for years, he blushes when you kiss his cheek in public. He is overly smug about holding your hand in public.

He does bitch about you not having enough security measures in place.

He is always super cold (this man is anemic, I just know it) so he is always shoving his cold ass hands under you to warm up. Big cuddler unless he is focused on a job.

Only you are able to coax him from work so he can remember to eat during projects.

I think I'll pause here, but GOD, I have so much more with more specific things. -- see my other x-reader things

[spellboundspook]

I'm mental ill so here are a bunch of my Sweet cap'n cakes headcanon

I'm not really sure where I should put this Headcanon but I Headcanon them as brothers there also all 15 in my headcanon

[Cap'n]

-Cap'n is non-binary he uses He/They pronouns and he's bi (convinced that their straight is in full on dental)

-they have autism and anxiety

-Cap'n favourite type of music is basically Toby fox's kind of music he has a very video gamey style of music he likes

-Cap'n is terrified of bugs any bugs Sweet and K_K never thought it was a big deal till they found him sobing on the dinner table at 7am cos he saw a spider somewhere

-their dask is always a mess they can never find anything on it it drives them mad but they despise cleaning

-bottles up all their emotions to a very unhealthy degree

-when they get mad they tend to just storm out of the house and destroy things at the trash zone

-they only drink soda (and milk when they need to be healed)

-they love sweet foods the tried a Taki once and they felt like they were dieing from the spice (or as sweet calls it being dramatic)

-he thinks he's the leader of the band (he's not)

-flirts with everything that moves he's is also unintentionally creepy with the flirting alot of the time but he'll stop if you ask

-his flirting only worked on one girl and she didn't even show up for the date

-he almost cried fr didn't help that it was on valentines day

-he dance with Ralsei when they first had their fight... he felt things but he's not gay right (spoiler alert he's bi and in denial)

-speaking of his love life he may flirt alot but if someone dares flirt back with him he became a sweating nervous blushing pile of stuttering

-cannot handle flirting to save his life

-really likes video games has a shit sleep schedule cos of it

-cap'n swears a lot (I mean he calls the Berdly status shit in the Japanese version of the game)

-he also suffers from nightmares he tends to go out on a lot of midnight walks

-he also has shitty eyesight (yes those are prescription glasses)

-K_K kindly tells him to watch he's fucking language

[Sweet]

-Sweet is non-binary and they use they/them pronouns their aroace and romance repulsed hate it

-they have autism

-sweets favourite music is musicals like Heathers, Beatle juice and ride the cyclone

-Speaking of they hateing romance they cannot sit though a romance film without nitpicking every little detail of the film

-they are a total perfectionist every need to be perfect on their desk cap'ns mess ass desks drives them insane

-Sweet is some kind of horror their mouth is also their eye retractable teeth they didn't really do it as a kid but they just did it one morning at breakfast and the only one they was freaked out was Cap'n

-sweet ironically love spicy foods like curry and Takis

-when they talk they pace up and down helps the train of thought

-sweet is the leader of band they are the full on brains of the operation

-The one that holds the braincell

-if sweet has too much sugar they go full hyper feral mode their too small can't handle too much suger

-they will bite, scream, kick, hiss do anything to get more sweet stuff K_K is the only one that can contain the feral beast

-they collect shiny rock and necklaces and shit

-basically a box of random crap they like

[K_K]

-Cakes is non-binary and she uses she/he/they their an aroace lesbian

-she has adhd and Autism

-Cakes favourite music like cap'n is also very video gamey music but she also loves vocaloid music

- Cakes desk is organised chaos to everyone else it look terrible but to K_K can just find whenever they need

-K_K is a chronic sleepwalker and talked Sweet and Cap'n lock the front door but K_K somehow always unlocks it

-Cakes isn't actually as dumb as she pretends he's actually really smart she just tends to zone out a lot

-very terrible sleep schedule wakes up at 5pm and falls asleep at 6am they try and fix it but their an insomniac so if they wake up during the night they're not going to fall back asleep

-K_K has a tendency to wonder off like their talking with Sweet and Cap'n one minute and their walking through a random alleyway the next

-they were the one that met spamton first tried to sell her car insurance she fucking ran for the hills

-spamton scares him... a lot

-K_K is the only reason that sweet hasn't choked out Cap'n

-cakes can be scary when she wants to be like when she's mad she'll just glare at you with a blank smile

-doesn't help they she tends to loom over people

-he's also really quite when they walk like they just appear behind people

-stay with me but I headcanon that Queen has always wanted kids

-so she just kinda kidnapped K_K made them sign adoption papers

-and now she's Cakes (cool adopted) mom

-sweet and Cap'n did not take this news well when they found out

[cauldronoflove]

would looooooooove to know more about bloody nose from your wip list!

heres the thing. i know its el's whole deal but there is no WAYYYY steve harrington doesnt have insane chronic nosebleeds. basketball, upside down shit, getting knocked around by every guy that stands next to him for two seconds. as a lifelong member i give him the chronic nosebleed society rating of 5/5. the other truth i hold close to my heart whether its real or not is no way was eddie munson not gothically haunting the inner recesses of hawkins high like some kind of campy high school horror b-flick cliche. okay you see where this is going-

i dont remember early timeline well and this is all developmentally very early stages so i havent done the research so i can only say its nebulously post-s1 and pre-robin and more than anything its just a little vignette abt steve's road to maturity and humanity and shit with a bit of bickering thrown in bc no matter the time or place i believe in all every one of the fruity four's right to be bitchy SO. basically. the plot beats in my head, where most of this resides, are nosebleed > slams into derelict bathroom no one uses bc someone definitely started a rumor its haunted > haunting is 50/50 but eddie is probably in there smoking a cigarette waiting out one class period or another > ??? > eddie giving steve his bandana to staunch his nose like some kind of gross austenian gentleman hes so embarassing > some kind of internal monologue that will only come to mind in post im sure.

and for the trouble of reading all this, some unedited dialogue i found at the bottom of my doc:

“Jesus," Munson mutters, ducking low like the view'll be any better from 45 degrees. "Do they like, line up? I always fucking miss it. You gotta start charging, man. Like those carnival booths, just instead of throwing pies they throw punches.”

“Yeah, I’ll try to schedule the next one under the bleachers so you can get front row.”

“What can I say, your liege, I’m a terrible gossip. My only vice, y’know.”

ask me abt my wips

[pbandjesse]

I felt a little stressed today. Not for any particular reason but probably because I am excited but also nervous about leaving for Disney on Sunday. And also just house. And being so over being at work.

I slept alright last night. But I woke up just so tired. I could see James in their office and they smiled at me and came in to give me a hug. And encouraged me that it would be a good day. Even though it was wildly foggy and super warm. It was 79 degrees today! That's insane!

Because it was so warm I was pretty uncomfortable. My hair felt bad. My clothes felt bad. I tried my best to not focus on it but I was just a bit uncomfortable today.

James and me both left for work and it wasn't a terrible drive. I just didn't want to go.

When I got to camp I was in a better mood. But I ran out of things to do pretty quickly.

I decided to walk around for a bit. And went up to the art building. I looked around for a bit but ended up just laying in my hammock for a while. I knew no one else was coming in before 9. So I chilled for a while. It was nice. Love hanging out in my hammock.

I went back to the office and Sarah and Elizabeth were there. Apparently they were concerned when I wasn't there and were like. Oh good you're back. Silly.

I would actually have some stuff to do. Some schedule stuff. Some programing stuff. Heather asked me and Sarah to do some research on leather and wood working. And that would be fun. We have a bit of a plan about play structures and new programing and locations and how we could handle that and it was fun looking into it.

I had a hot dog for lunch. And looked around on Pinterest for a while. Which reminded me that I wanted to look for a new bath mat. Which I did find and I hope is nice in person. I also bought an absolutely unnecessary product. Which are little ceramic turtles for covering the bold on the toilet. Ridiculous. I'm so excited.

At 1 Heather, Sarah, and me went for a walk. I took pictures of the different areas and did a little drawing for our play structure plans. It was also just nice walking around. The fog has burned away. And it was a little to warm. But it was a fun walk.

We were all surprised to see that frog hollow was frozen! And I found two mushrooms. The one I was most excited about was the jelly mushroom, which I have been on the look out for since November! I was super pleased.

We would walk all around lower camp and it felt really productive. And when we got back to the office me and Sarah continued our research and I did my drawing and it was a good hour.

By 3 I was so bored again though. I had an out though because our title company needed me to come sign a document that the bank requested. Can do! So I got to say goodbye to everyone and headed out.

I did stop to chat with Joe and he wished me the best trip an said I gotta bring him a very good gift. I will consider it!

I got to Towson and met with Greg. Only took a minute. He is a nice man. And I was on my way to our new house.

James had loaded up the car with some of my studio trunks. And the shower curtain rod was delivered! The drive there took a while. There was a lot of traffic. But I got there around 4 so I was still doing good.

I got all the trunks inside. Had to be really strong. And was able to jump right into hanging the shower curtain rod.

I knew this was going to be a little tough but I had a plan. But I messed it all up when I didn't realize that the two halves of the rods had to be connected first before I attached it to the wall. So they I got the one side one (after measuring and putting in the wall anchors and everything) and then couldn't get the second side on and I kept dropping the screws and then trying to take the bracket off I stripped one of the screws and I was just struggling! I was very mad but through my cursing and dropping things I was able to sort it out and made it work. And I think it looks so good and I'm just thrilled.

I ran out of things to move around. So it was time to go. I was a little unsettled and tired so I thought I needed a vegetable. And went to get a sandwich at Wawa so I could have lettuce and tomatoes and such. I sat in my car to eat and watched an absolutely beautiful sunset. It was really wonderful.

I felt a little better but I think I was just tired and a little frustrated when I got back to the apartment. Frustrated about the oven. Which was replaced but still doesn't work correctly. Plus it is just. Dirty everywhere. It's been to hard to clean around boxes and things. Maybe tomorrow I will do some amount of cleaning and organizing here to make my brain feel better about things.

I was also just upset because my Amazon package got stolen. Which was why I didn't want to send things here and just forgot to change the address and I was just so bummed. Thankfully the beautiful plant Jess mailed to me wasn't taken but I was pretty sad about the last of my tile. Amazon will probably replace it but it sucks.

I would hang out on the couch for a little. But I had to get some packing done. James was doing their podcast. But then I felt upset about them not packing and I know that wasn't fair because they should have hobbies. So I just packed. I packed 5 boxes.

James finished their podcast about 7 and got right to work packing the boxes in the car. I shadow boxes with sweetp for a bit. But pretty quickly me and James were off.

We got over to the house and James carried everything inside. I unpacked my boxes and we made piles. All the studio stuff and the knickknacks and stuff. I was excited to show James how good the bathroom looks. And then it was time to go.

We got back to the apartment and got showers. I did a little more looking over my packing for Florida. I want to do a full inventory tomorrow so I hopefully don't forget anything. And now we are just in bed getting cozy.

I hope to just chill tomorrow. Check my bags. Maybe walk to Walgreens. And then when James is done work they are driving me to Jess's. Because my lovely husband is going to drive us to the airport on Sunday morning. They are the best.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Wash your hands. Be safe.

[blorbologist]

Is an engineer not considered a scientist in the realm of science? Why?

Anon, I'm not sure how familiar you are with modern academia, and how science works today! Long gone are the days of lone (+ their wives and uncited apprentices) scientists cooking up discoveries in a lab, appearing to change the world, and shutting themselves back in. Maybe Percy would be considered a scientist in Exandria, by their standards, and he'd be perfectly smug about that distinction, but he absolutely would not vibe with what's required of a scientist today.

It's more like... hrm.

When I'm approaching scientist, I'm meaning someone like my grandfather or I: researchers, academics. People asking questions that take a long time to answer.

Percy is like my father: curious and loves making things, but first and foremost he solves problems first, asks questions second (though! They do have some insane questions! But they're more in the vein of 'what if Bigger, or Better', at risk of oversimplifying). Most engineers are in this camp. It's more immediately practical.

I do not think Percy would like academia.

When all is said and done he doesn't want to hurt people, he wants to make clocks, he just wants to quietly work on making things better. And you need to be constantly running to stay in place in research - I don’t think he would enjoy feeling forced to stay up to date, to find the next big thing, to publish to keep his funding - and, down the line, managing a lab, grad students, teaching. It's not all making things go boom, you know.

My dad is not a scientist: he works in computer engineering but the work environment, schedule and vibes are completely different to a scientist's. It's a complicated, high-stakes desk job. You have projects and deadlines and you solve them and it’s more closely tied to business, if that makes sense? Many, imo *most* engineers end up in similar boats: engineering is a STEM degree, but they don't end up in academia. Like how you wouldn’t call a doctor a scientist - it's got a similar education to start, but a different higher education and application. His job is definitely time consuming and requires skill, but it’s not his life or his personality.

Contrast this with research. You can't quite put deadlines on 'discover a new thing that's helpful in x y z way'. You're not proposing solutions, you're asking questions to which the answers could be solutions (or new problems). You get grants or get paid by a business to Figure Stuff Out, stuff that's ideally of interest/use to the party funding you. For most it's a lot of writing: you publish your findings, you apply for grants and funding. You're a little entity of knowledge production and discovery-finding. Your research history and academic credentials are everything. Going to conferences, often teaching too, having bitter decades-long feuds with someone who dismissed your findings and you’re sure they're fabricating data. There are engineers in academia, but they're a minority compared to those graduating and then going to work, and I don’t hear much about research from them?

Percy very much has a Thing about control: I can't see him working under someone else in their lab for more than a stint (say, while completing his PhD, mayyyybe as a postdoc), but he wants to poke at His ideas and His plans and follow His whims, and most PIs would squint at that given young man thats their funding. On the other hand, you can't be a student or postdoc forever, and he'd absolutely hate how the parts of science he'd enjoy the least would increase tenfold when in charge, with even less time for what he wants. And it never ends. When you are a scientist, You Are a Scientist. The things you're researching are a passion, they're integral to who you are, so everything is just... so personal.

Meanwhile, with an engineering job he can just... fix things. Start a project and see it to the end. Make things Work. Get the satisfaction of things coming out Right and As Expected.

And at the end of the day, he can put it all away and tinker with a clock.

This got rambly, apologies: there's a lot of ideas here and they're hard to formulate coherently.

Tldr: most engineers end up with stable jobs, ones with deadlines and clear things to fix and do, vs the very different, very... idk, throwing your heart and soul into the grinder work environment you see in research/academia. Percy would loathe so much of how academia functions, and the mindset it would require of him, he'd 100% get whatever degrees he thought he needed and get out.

(Now Caleb, Caleb I could see returning to academia, to pair with his teaching, though research would be a distant second priority. But it's a very Specific sort of environment that I think Percy would want to distance himself from.)

(Take this all with a grain of salt: I'm a Masters student in Bio who hopes to continue in research, and I haven’t had the hope beat out of me yet... but I did listen to my grandfather, and to my labmates, and mostly going off personal experience and the experiences to those close to me. Thus this has a focus on STEM, not on other facets of academia such as history.)

[scham-wcan]

2, 9, and 20 for cinwin plz, I just love them and I need some fluff

It's funny to me that when I see this in my ask box Rain Paris' cover of 'Bad Romance' is playing for me, lets do this

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

So I imagine that they both have terrible sleep schedules but for the opposite reasons. Like Cinder is so used to night terrors, nightmares, and the like that she is the lightest sleeper of the pair to an insane degree; like a crack in the structure's settling will make her snap awake. The opposite would be Winter, who while being a soldier for a long period of time, going civic again she's falling back into that Schnee over sleeping style like Weiss does. So when Winter oversleeps in the morning, Cinder is probably wide awake, but Cinder is clutched against or entwined with Winter so the pair of them just have to stick it out for a while until either Winter wakes up or Cinder shimmies away. That and Winter's many morning alarms to get her awake make Cinder want to become a villain again, but its worth it to watch Winter sloppily fall out of bed most mornings.

9. If they got engaged… who proposed? 

I like to think the pair of them had something like a ring or even just the intent to propose at the same time for a long period of time. Like even during the war I can see the pair of them thinking, "there is a decent chance I/we don't make it out of this because of being maidens, so I should strike the idea now." For that reason I think they have been fiancés for months or years before they're actually able to get married, and I think they sort of had the discussion on wanting to be together despite the obvious risks and attachments that would entail. When the war is over though one of them has to pop the actual question eventually though right, and its probably Winter being blunt about wanting to follow through with one another's promise to each other while Cinder was starting to think "the honeymoon phase is over she can see I'm still a monster- Oh I have a ring on now maybe she's legit"

20. Most cuddly? 

I think they're both fairly restrained on any form of like public displays, stick with me, like they'll be holding hands or be close to one another's sides at public events but they're not going nuts kissing or anything in front of cameras or other people--they have reputations to uphold. But as soon as they're quieted away out of being observed or looked over, their quick to be on one another. Cinder is always warm like a heavy blanket Winter loves, and Winter has that chill of an unused pillow in bed which Cinder longs for. They're capable of having an adult and civil conversation but Cinder is practically draping herself over Winter, or Winter is koala'd onto Cinder's form like her life depends on it. End of workdays is their cuddle hour and I will die on that hill.

[al-dante]

Interview No.0 - Dante

[The footage starts with them both in what seems to be a truck. The interior of the bus is unkempt, with articles of clothing and empty food containers on the floor.]

Montgomery: “I’m excited. Are you? I mean, nobody has a chance like this one. I’m practically shaking, lookit.”

[The camera pans to one of Montgomery’s trembling hands, while the other held a microphone and a notepad.]

Montgomery: “Are you recording right now? Come on, you’re gonna waste the footage!”

Camera Man: [Unintelligible]

Montgomery: “Lucky. Not rich. I hadn’t tested the luck that far, yet. Tell you what, after all this, let’s go get a lottery ticket. We'll see how far my luck goes, alright?”

[The camera footage cuts before starting again in a dilapidated area. It seems to be the Backstreets of District 4. Montgomery and the Camera Man cautiously approach what seems to be a large train. It’s covered in blood.]

Montgomery: “So those rumors were true… That’s insane. Who could drive this thing into a crowd of people and sleep peacefully at night?”

[There's a noise of people in distress. There’s a sudden flash of light, and it goes quiet for a few moments. The camera adjusts accordingly.]

[The camera abruptly cuts again. It starts again, now with a little lost context, but Montgomery still manages to catch the other man off guard.]

Montgomery: “G-Good evening, sir…! I'm Montgomery with Ladybug News. We're here for the scheduled interview with you. Are you Dante?”

Dante: <Oh- That was today? Hold on- Er... Hello. Yes, that’s me. It is a pleasure to meet you.>

Montgomery: “Are you busy right now? We can come back later.”

Dante: <No, no. That won't be necessary. Let us speak in private… As private as we can be, out here.>

[Dante leans against the blood-soaked train. It makes a slight squish sound. It disgusts everyone, but they continue anyway.]

Montgomery: “... Well, thank you for agreeing to this interview. Everyone has been curious about the new company ever since the previous fall of L Corp.”

Dante: <You’re welcome. I am happy to clear up anyone’s suspicions about the Company. We are always happy to answer any questions people have about us, what we do, and what our company is all about. With that, you may begin when you are ready.>

Montgomery: “Of course, of course. You're one executive manager of a branch we were able to get a hold of. And... Well, tell me about yourself, Dante. We'd love to get to know you!”

Dante: <Alright, let me see. I am the executive manager of Limbus Company. I am one of many executive managers in my sector. My job is to direct my team as they go through the ruins of the fallen previous corporation to get resources and EGO equipment.>

[Dante pulls out a small first aid kit from his coat to show off to both Montgomery and the Camera Man. He quickly puts it away.]

Dante: <I also carry bandages with me at all times in order to help take care of my crew. How’s that?>

Montgomery: “Wow, you sound like you care deeply about your employees.”

Dante: <Well, I do. It’s more than just money and profits to me. Of course, should they need it, I can also be very strict with them. That comes with being the executive manager of the company.>

Montgomery: “Good to hear. Why did you join Limbus Company?”

Dante: <... I don’t remember.>

Montgomery: “You don’t?”

[The hands on Dantes's clock face spin rapidly once before speaking again.]

Dante: <This was the only place that would hire me. Next question.>

[Montgomery awkwardly looks back at the camera before continuing on.]

Montgomery: “Okay... Tell us about your education.”

Dante: <I have a Communication Degree.>

Montgomery: “Fancy. What for? Did you plan to work in media?”

Dante: <I wanted to be an actor.>

Montgomery: “Elaborate on that a little bit.”

Dante: <No.>

Montgomery: “... Alright. These next questions should be less extreme. What are your thoughts on your employees? Do you have any favorites, being the manager and all?”

Dante: <Hmmmm, my favorites? I’d have to say I have a few. My favorite sinners are… Yi Sang, Don Quixote, and Faust. They are some of the most trustworthy sinners I have ever worked with so far and I truly enjoy spending time with them. I also enjoy spending time with Ishmael and Rodion during off-time, as they both are a good company to speak with. Of course, I love all my employees equally, these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.>

Montgomery: “How do the others describe you?”

Dante: <Well, my employees have a lot of different opinions about me. I try my best to take good care of all of them. I am either hated, loved, or respected by my sinners, and they all have different descriptions of me, if you ask them.>

Montgomery: “We're planning on holding interviews with the other sinners. Do you have any advice on how to talk to them?"

Dante: <Advice… Er… Don’t overstep your boundaries. Even I don’t know how to speak with them most of the time.>

Montgomery: “Thank you for agreeing to our interview on such short notice! We'll inform you when we release this to the public.”

Dante: <It is my pleasure to have been the one interviewed! I hope that the public sees us in a more positive light when the interview has been shared. With that said, it has been an honor to be able to answer your questions.>

[Montgomery looks over to something off-camera. He looks unnerved.]

Dante: <Is something wrong?> 

Montgomery: “Um... That guy with the red gaze staring at us... Is he with you?”

[Dante looks over, the camera quickly pans to look over at the said man. The man quickly looks away.]

Dante: <That’s just Vergilius.>

Montgomery: “He looks terrifying.”

Dante: <He means no harm.>

Montgomery: “We should get going.”

Dante: <Would you like to speak with him? I’m sure he has something to say- >

Montgomery: “No- No. Thank you, we’re good.”

[The recording abruptly stops here.]

[lovings4turn]

is it just me who screenshots and/or copy pastes the conversation you replied to so i know what i'm replying to !? yeah, okay, just me. 🫣

first of all, from what it said, (this is from sunday or monday, no clue. don't ask me - time is a social construct!) you'd gotten an awful sleep schedule !! :(( but, i do hope it's better now !! and don't worry, i'm no longer as sick as i was that day !! the dutch weather still is crazy - it hit 11 degrees today (remember i told you 24 on saturday?! it's crazy!!), and i got so used to this, that i just carried my puffer on campus and once i got out, i still had it in my hand until i had to leave to come back home. i wanna go back to my island girl phase and be in higher 20s/30s please !! summer vacation, please come soon (less than 90 days, so slay!!)

my new period just started, and we're learning about - ahem - "health technological innovations + EU" while, i'm icked by the amount of law we'll be doing alongside, i'm hitting the T of STEM, so we love that!! i have hit, s, t, and m so far !! i don't think i'll be getting close to the E until maybe next year on erasmus ??? or master's !! 😭😭 but i'm so glad to hear that you're making progress (hopefully it's going well !! or else, i might have to bring out the whatchamacallits (also look! my computer recognised it, i swear, i got so surprised !!!)

oh my gosh, i so relate !! because, that paper started off about care for xyz disease comparing east/western europe !! it ended up turning into something msm, and i swear - it wasn't pretty. i kid you not, i had DREAMS of google scholar with the search bar full of "MSM" and other boolean operators and other disease names. i hated it, but i passed so we love.

ruhi ramble over for now !! sending you so much love and amazingness your way !! i love love loveeee sending you asks, - i think talking to you has become one thing i have to do on a daily basis or the day essentially hasn't happened yk ?? ANYWAY !! much love !!! 🫶

eeeesh, this is long. my bad (not really guilty, ehe 🤭)

OH you're so real !!!!😭 i sit with a screenshot pulled up right by it so i KNOW i can hit every single point i need to reply to - you aren't alone here sweetheart 😭

time doesn't exist to us !!! i say because i am a survivor of 'has no idea what day it is' disease ... luckily my sleep schedule is on the mend !!! (i did stay up til three last night to watch a silly little hockey game but the results were insane so i'd say it was worth it !!!) and i'm so so happy to hear you aren't as ill anymore !!! but that is Insane oh my god ??? that's so back and forth idk how you cope honestly love 😭😭 manifesting you get your higher temps back and can fully enter your island girl era once more !!!!!

whilst that sounds far beyond my intellectual level ,, that sounds so interesting !!! i'm praying for you for the amount of law you'll be hit with , but you're hitting the t of your woman in stem !!!! you can do it i know it !!!! collecting all of those letters like the icon you are <33

AHHH IT RECOGNISES THE WHATCHAMACALLITS !!!! THIS IS SUCH A WIN FOR US !!!!! i think i may have to heavily start romanticising studying to get through the last few days of slogging over the essays , but i am nothing if not determined !!!!

i am so proud of you for passing that firstly !!!! you're not just a kind soul - you're a genius too !!!! but oh my god that is INTENSE i don't know whether to be impressed or concerned for you lovely 😭😭 but it's over !!!! you did it !!!

i'm sending you all of my love too , ruhi , and once again i'm so thankful to have you in my inbox - it's always a pleasure and i love having you here !!! it truly is an honour :( hoping you're having the best day and night ,, and sending you love and joy and whimsy !!<3

[passed-up-for-peace-of-mind]

12.30.23 4:59pm

Jackson (my manager) just sent us the schedule for next week, and I’m scheduled for brunch with Erin (friend who I also work with), [Ex}, Katie (work mother), and Jackson. Truly could not envision a less comfortable situation for [Ex]. Laughing haha. He hates brunch so much, and then also I’m there. My heart is beating very fast; reasons unclear. Oh man he just texted me asking if I want Annabelle (friend who I also work with) to take my brunch shift. I said she can have it if she wants it or if he wants me to give it to her. I really don’t care if we have to work together; as I suspected, he is the one who is uncomfortable (seemingly). We’ll see what he replies! Maybe he’s turned his read receipts off too! Which would be insane bc he has them turned on for literally everyone. “I don’t foresee it being a particularly happy shift for either of us and I don’t really want that.” Okay, pussy. I said I’d text her; he said she’s there and already told her and Jackson. I wonder if he told them I didn’t want the shift or if he didn’t want to work the shift with me. Can’t wait to find out! Only a week away! What a funny little turn my life has taken. There are 8-10 robins in the front yard right now. We’re having a meal that I dislike the two major elements of (tofu, peanut sauce). How am I supposed to feel in a world like this.

5:22

You know what, I’m not done! This sucks! I hate working brunch, and I’m glad I don’t have to. But I am going to be livid if he told everyone that I didn’t want to work that shift with him. He is the one who doesn’t want to work the shift with me. I am going to be angry if he told them anything other than the truth: I don’t want to work with [pufpom] before I leave because I broke up with her last week. Okay this episode of Twilight Sanctorum is actually so funny. I’m not really that mad. Maybe he told everybody when the shift started. Maybe everybody is going to know by the time I get there, and everybody is gonna feel bad for me. Maybe he’ll say that we broke up instead of saying he broke up with me. Let’s break it down. We have a couple of options.

[Ex] tells people first.

He tells them we broke up. (This seems normal)

I don’t say anything. (I seem like I’m being mature to some degree by not making drama about it)

I tell them something.

I say we broke up. (Both stories line up, and no one’s the wiser)

I say he broke up with me. (It makes [Ex] look dishonest for leaving out the part where he dropped me to live free in [city he's studying abroad in])

He tells them he broke up with me. (Unknown how this might be interpreted by others. Guilty? Gloating? Right to do so? Truly depends on the person)

I don’t say anything. (I seem torn up about it and not willing to engage with anyone about it)

I say he broke up with me. (I seem brave and strong and sad)

I have to tell people first. (I seem like I’m being extra because everybody already saw [Ex], and he didn’t feel the need to say anything to anybody)

I tell them we broke up. (Normal seeming, perhaps)

He says we broke up. (Normalness confirmed?)

He says he broke up with me. (I look like I was trying to protect my pride by saying it was mutual)

I tell them he broke up with me. (I look like I’m trying to get sympathy)

He says we broke up. (Either I look like I’m lying, or he looks like he’s trying to seem less guilty than he really is)

He says he broke up with me. (It all lines up. The truth is finally revealed.)

Thank god we have all these options for all of the interactions I can have with the people we mutually know and work with. If [Ex] reneggs on his claim that he’s not coming back to [restaurant we work at] after [his study abroad], he’s gonna have another thing coming if he thinks I’m bowing out. I’m going home for the summer, but I’m sure as hell not giving up my job when I get back to campus next fall. This is so lame. Idk how everyone at work is going to deal with this because everyone adores him. Thank GOD Nina and Mari (former manager and coworker who love ex dearly) are gone. I wouldn’t want to put them through this test of cognitive dissonance. I will just be vague but honest and let people come to their own conclusions. Do you think Tracy and Max (my friend in Ex's major, also one of Ex's best friends) are staying together? Oh I bet I can get Tracy on my side. I bet if they stay together everything Max says is going straight through Tracy and to me. Will Tracy encourage me to wait for him? Will she say I should get back out there out of spite? To show [Ex] I won’t just wait around? I am so excited to hear the fascinating takes from my more vicious and self righteous homies. What will Julie (friend in my major) have to say? What about Steph and Maryam (also friends in my major)? DANIEL? I bet if Max and Tracy stay together then Max will have a few choice words as well, especially if Tracy makes the case to him. I don’t even want to tell Chris. I don’t want to tell Erin or Sophie (friend in adjacent major). I don’t want to tell Maddie or Savvy (friends and former roommates). Oh god Sarita (my roommate)… I don’t know if I’m ready to have that conversation. Sarita will definitely have some things to say. I’m most excited to hear from Tracy, but I think Maryam, Steph, Daniel, and Sarita will have the most compelling hatred to spew re: his choice. I’ll give it another week. It will come up when it comes up. What a rich world of opinions awaiting me… All I have to do is sit back and wait. As long as I don’t seem self righteous and pushy or dramatic about my opinions, everyone will be able to form their own opinions. We’ll see!

[likesflowersdotdotdot]

Confessions of a Failed Lawyer

Well, I got fired.

It was entirely my fault. I was constantly tardy to everything and just was not really paying attention. I also would disappear in the middle of the work day hours on end, often running errands or going to job interviews. My heart wasn't really in it. And because of that, I let my employers down. It was such an easy job, but I just could not show up on time. It was the right decision for them. It was a complete blow on my confidence and sense of self for me. I don't blame them.

And as for me, I am resisting the urge to hate on myself. I have been chronically late all 30 or so years of my life. It has consistently caused issues before, and now it has had a concrete affect on my livelihood. I am holding myself responsible to the consequences of my actions. Still, I don't think holding myself accountable means hating and shaming and blaming myself. I think it means learning from this experience.

Now, what should I be taking away from this? Before, I would promise myself to never be late to anything again. To change my alarms, change my sleeping pattern, change the way I look at when to leave for anything. But at this point, I have lost count as to how many times I have tried to do that. And I have lost count as to how many times I inevitably revert back.

So now what do I do? Wasn't it Einstein who said the definition of insanity is to try the same things over and over again expecting different results?

Perhaps now it is time to try something different.

Perhaps it is time to practice radical self-acceptance.

To me, radical self-acceptance means accepting and loving myself as I am. And figuring out how to move through life that will set me up for the most success.

Radical self-acceptance does not mean lack of accountability. It does not mean making excuses.

Perhaps to some, these things are contradictory. But to me, it feels right.

At this point, perhaps I can accept I am going to be a person that is late to things. Perhaps I can also accept I cannot wake up consistently in the morning to save my life. That means either I find a job that has flexible start times, or have jobs that start later in the day.

Working in court is not compatible with this characteristic. It inherently requires punctuality and strict adherence to a set schedule. I have tried. I have failed.

I have had other jobs in the past that tardiness was not such a complete deal breaker. I also know there are things I actually am naturally good at and have excelled at. This helps buffer my confidence to some degree. I am not a completely hopeless case.

So, what do I do now in a society that equates a person's job with their worth? What does it mean that I got fired from a job and now have very little income to rely on? Well, naturally it must mean I am a failure. Except, I am not. Except I have always found a way to continue living, breathing, thriving. I have failed but I am not a failure. I have experienced the worst that can happen. And yet, despite the shame and the guilt and the embarrassment, here I still am. I am still alive. I am OK. Sometimes, that is all I can ask for.

Sometimes when everything feels like it is closing in and I feel trapped and without direction and hopeless, I do get dark thoughts. I think, I don't deserve to be alive.

But I do.

[neversetyoufree]

The problem with me and this blog is that I would really like to post more about other non-VaNoé characters, especially the gals, because I feel like I’m under-appreciating them. HOWEVER, I have mostly only thought super deep into things to do with Vanitas and Noé, and I am already over 100 drafts and 300+ posts deep into The Brain Spiral.

And I know that if I shift my attention and start really digging into Dominique and Jeanne and all the parts of VnC that I haven’t yet looked at as closely, The Brain Spiral is only going to intensify, and I am going to be simply overwhelmed with things I want to say

[valleyfae]

baby looking for inspo? i'm HERE

see now you know im obsessed with step everything and my entire personality is dark or daddy issues-esque fics so im sure you're already expecting what's to come

mean manipulative dark best friend's dad seb who wants to turn you into his little girl. secret perverted touches, him pushing you into dark corners when your bff is there, hand over your mouth telling u about all the bad things he wants to do to you 🥰 i love me a sick fuck

step dad charles blackwood disciplining you? telling you it's for your own good? lots of slapping from his side because he LOVES inflicting pain he's a total sadist and a very very strict and mean dom and he has one dirty twisted mouth he loves humiliating you and how touch starved you are. YOU GET ME??

and random but i have very normal feelings about the chest hair they are very normal im not insane about it AT ALL

older mentor nick fowler and you being the new naive young intern who he decides to take in basically? show you the ropes? he has lots of anger issues and he gets off on seeing you cry because of him. hes a cocky asshole im sure you can guess where im going with this 🤭

okay and here's another; yandere steve kemp just wants a doll for himself. like a pure pretty little girl to corrupt and destroy and to treat like a princess at the same time. dress her up in pretty clothes and slap and throw her around if she ever tells him no. mean and manipulative and praise in the most condescending way. also likes to threaten you with how he'd give you the same treatement that he gives his other girls if you piss him off 😵‍💫

these are all literally just random thoughts i have for no reason. do with them what you will they're all yours now <3

love you 😽

“My whole personality is dark or daddy issues-esque” you’re killing me baby oh gosh 😭

There is a lot especially for Steve!!! 1k word rant under the cut hehe enjoy

I’m whimpering and squirming… he’s such a perv ekkjkhkgj cupping your cunt under the table during dinner, going through your things and stealing your dirty underwear, insisting on taking pictures of you two while swimming but just videos you and zooms in to take photos of just you, stuffing his fingers in your mouth and covering the whole bottom of your face to shut you up. His voice is deep and gravely as he whispers the most vulgar, disgusting things. He has a collection of paddles and floggers and, of course, has way more than necessary amount of tough, expensive belts. He has a huge sir kink >.< he is not afraid to be vocal or grunt and moan, growling the most filthy things while pinning you down and fucking you into oblivion.

I know I barely talk about Charles, but he is one of my favorites 🤧🤧 all my favorite things ever. I’m the biggest obedient pain slut masochist, and the things he would do just turn me on to a disgusting degree. I love mean and strict doms and them being cruel for no reason and treating you like a toy to use and hurt. OMG MY FAVORITE LINE “it’s for your own good” 🥺🥺 I’m weak!!! All of the impact play and breath play ahhsfksglhsk!!!! Charles does the occasional paddle or belt, but he’s more traditional (maybe that’s the wrong thing to call it lol). Anything handy and close by will do, even though he has a strict schedule, which includes proper discipline and regimens. He finds you getting off in your room? Bent over your bed using the back of your hairbrush. In the kitchen? Bent over the counter using the back of a wooden spoon, and so on.

I really shouldn’t expose myself right now :/ but I’m going to lol. The whole paddle, hairbrush, just Charles spanking in general reminded me of this couple wksjahasjh so last year or so I found this clip from a video and as one does I showed my friend and she found the couples ph account. Porn has never really turned me on and I never really enjoyed watching it I don’t know BUT THIS?!!?!!? They only had one typical porno and the rest were just discipline and punishment spanking videos. And I forgot about them. I’m literally creaming my pants just thinking about it… full on nutted everywhere </3

Some people go crazy for chest hair and I mean if it fits with the whole package, or the specific person, it can definitely do something but Seb doesn’t need it whatsoever 👍🏻

OLDER MENTOR NICK *sobs* DECIDES TO TAKE YOU IN *sobs harder* DACRYPHILIA *sobs even harder and profusely whimpers* why doesn’t he love me :(( I need him :( oh… you really went there with the anger issues, didn’t you? You little fucker :|

I wanna be Steve’s favorite basement pet!!!!!!! I will do anything for him. I’m thinking breeder!Steve so sorry if this is a different direction than you were going. Steve running the most successful underground dark web breeding I don’t know what to call it. He never picks favorites, and he promised himself that from the beginning, but there is something so pure about you. The fear in your eyes so rare and beautiful he nearly can’t hold back his urges. Your confusion is evident. Just looking at you, he knows you haven’t been touched before. 

He hands down has a piss kink, both ways around. He makes you hold it for as long as possible, then totally humiliates you when you can’t control your bladder anymore. And on the other hand, he’ll sit you beside the tub and degrade and humiliate and call you a ‘brainless mutt’ while going all over you… I’m so very sorry lmao. 

Back to where I was, I guess? Being so frightened and shy once you arrive, crying every time Steve gets near you, not sleeping or eating, and just staying in your cage until you’re ripped out. One night he loses control and carefully gets you from your cage to bring you back to his room upstairs. No one notices, including you, due to everyone’s nightly shot. Waking up in a different cage at the end of Steve’s bed with a sore throat, dried cum all over you, and some marks and blood on the backs of your thighs and bum from his crops :(( naive and easily manipulated, you become Steve’s most prized breeding toy. You follow him around and let him do whatever he pleases. 

His praise can sometimes be you’re doing such a good job, pup. But it always has to be mixed with some of these: dirty little pup has gone fucking brain dead, huh? Just love getting ruined, don’t you? Good little mutt’s so obedient she’ll take anything given to her. Pathetic little pet. 

Twice a week, there are inspections. Strapped down to his examination table, he checks and makes sure your holes are healthy, and you’re in good condition for breeding and selling. All the other girls have plain black collars with their tracking numbers, but Steve has put you in a handmade leather collar with a little bell and bow attached. He sometimes lets you sit in his lap while he works or on the couch opposed to kneeling on the floor, but when you get too comfortable and forget that Steve hasn’t given you specific instructions, he threatens to not even let you leave the basement like the others and accept Mr. Fowler’s generous bidding and sell you to him.

You are an angel!!! These concepts are absolute perfection (sorry I went a little crazy) 🤧🤧

Love you <3

[artzee-bee]

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it. 

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”