#and I didn't get to do any of the really good stuff

[lavenderhateswritting]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTj6S4hus/ This is any of the marks if reader doesn’t answer them because they are doing hero stuff or just working btw

Sinester, Eyeless, and Mohawk my loves

Sinister Mark

~ His first reaction when you miss his call is usually to just go wherever you are and "handle" whatever is keeping your attention

~ He has just appeared wherever you are and killed the villain you're fighting or jumped into the conversation you were holding. Sometimes you'll not even notice he's called you until he is just standing in front of you

~ He doesn't care if you find it weird either he actually finds it annoying that you made him take the extra effort to have to come find you. Could he just text you and wait for you to finish what you're doing? Of course, but he's never going to do that.

"Why didn't you answer my call" he was standing in front of you with his arms crossed covered head to toe in blood. He hadn't even had the decency to change into his superhero suit. "I was busy fighting the monster you just gutted" he looked over at the creature who he had just ripped the heart of as if it was nothing. "Don't be ridicoluos that thing was like an ant you could have finished this fight in 5 minutes." He looked huffy even though the last time you said that he threw a fit. "Cecil wanted to take this thing in alive." "Yeah well I wanted to talk to my partner and not have to come out here to the middle of nowhere." Sometimes this man pushed you to your limits. "Fine what did you need Mark" He looked at you without a hint of irony or shame and said : "I wanted to know if you wanted me to get Chinese food before you came home"

Eyeless Mark (20/20)

~ Such a whiny brat.

~ He stews in whatever made him mad and when you ignore his phone calls he definitely just sits at home stewing in how you've ignored him and how he's basically nothing to you.

~ You will come home to the silent treatment and passive agressive bullshit that you're going to have to be super nice to him and suck up to him to get him out of it.

"Mark, come on. I said I was sorry." You watched as he continued to fold his arms and ignore you. "I was working, and I didn't have my phone on me. I'm sorry." The fucker just picked up the remote sitting next to him and turned up the volume higher. "Really, silent treatment. Can we please act like adults?" Still nothing. This is how it went for the rest of the day until dinner. You tried your hardest, you begged, you bribed, and even did the silent treatment back, but Mark still ignored you. So you decided to bring out the big guns. He was back to sitting in front of the TV watching a show, but you could tell that you caught his attention when you walked into the room. You walked over to stand directly in front of him and then slid yourself onto his lap. "Mark," you kissed him on his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't answer you." You kissed him on his forehead. " It won't happen again, I promise." You kissed him on the lips. He accepted it gladly, and he gripped your waist and pulled you even closer to him. He popped away from the kiss with a line of spit connecting the two of you. He smirked. "I guess I can find it in my heart to forgive you." He inched his hands further up and leaned in for a kiss, and then you pulled away and stood up

"Well, that's good." "Y/N, wait, where are you going?" He stood up to and watched you as you walked toward the front door. "Oh, I was gonna go eat out for dinner, didn't feel like cooking. I'm so glad we could make up, though, bye Mark." You opened the door and walked out. "Wait, I'll come with."

Mohawk Mark

~ Yeah, he's the type to leave you a voicemail, cursing you out.

~ Because why the fuck would you ever act like you can just not pick up his phone call? He will scream into the phone like a crazy person, and it will freak everyone out.

~ He will not scream that much at you. If anything, he did it because he thought it was funny and not because of any genuine anger.

"Oh fuck Mark called me while we were fighting." You were covered in sweat, and heaving even though Eve looked like she hadn't even broken a sweat. "Damn and he left a voicemail." "Oh, what did he say?" She leaned over your shoulder and watched as you clicked on the voicemail your boyfriend had sent you. "Y/N. DON'T YOU EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE THINK THAT YOU CAN HAND UP ON ME YOU SON OF A BITCH. PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE." The line went dead, and you and Eve just stared at each other. "You should probably call him." "Yeah," You stared at the phone in silence as you called Mark until he picked up. "Hi Mark, what did you need?" You heard him shuffling around, and then the sound of him shoveling something in his mouth. "There are no more chips; you should pick some up on your way home." "That's all?" "Yep, see ya."

[absifofhws]

— THEIR FIRST MEETING ESPRESSO¡READER X LATTE¡MATT STURNIOLO (personal assistant¡matt au)

warnings: none, just super awkward and cute latte¡matt, heavily inspired by tag jones from friends, split pov. wc: 838 (intended lowercase)

readers pov: today was the day, after 5 years of doing this without help, managing your own meetings and struggling to do this on my own, you were finally hiring a personal assistant. you team had already hired one on your behalf.

from what you've heard, he's in his early 20s and has great organisational skills. he doesn't have much experience in this field, but you had pushed the team to hire people with little experience so they could use this job to gain some.

you walked into the building, before getting into the elevator and getting off at the floor of your office. once you get there, you push open the slightly heavy dark oak door to reveal your office. a neat room with a dark wood desk in the centre, clutter on both sides, pens and random sheets of paper scattered across it, you quickly organise and set up for your day before you hear a knock at the door to signify your assistant was finally here.

"come in," you say before sitting down at the main chair at your desk, signing a couple papers as he walks in.

"matt, right?" you ask, your tone confident as usual. you could tell he was jittery and almost, wait, was he nervous? "yes, ma'am, matt," he awkwardly says as he walks up to your desk.

while he was nervous, you could definitely work with this, he was well dressed, looked smart enough.

"well, matt, i've made you a list of things i need for you to do, meetings and stuff, you'll have your own desk, the one in the room right across from mine, you won't be alone, there are others there with you. if you need any help, just email me, or talk to them any time, they're super helpful," you say with a warm smile, trying to be as welcoming as possible, as you could still tell he was nervous. you hand him the sheet of paper with all the tasks you needed completing from him. he takes the list in both hands, nodding as he listens to show you he was actively hearing what you were saying.

"and please, never call me ma'am again," you say in attempt to lighten the mood, you see matt's face get a little anxious before lightening up again when he could tell you weren't offended.

"no ma'am, got it," he says with a small smile, "for now, is there anything i could do for you, get you a coffee, anything?"

"uhm, i'll have an espresso and a pain au chocolat, but here, take the company card," you say as you slide the metal black card across the table for him.

"thanks," he says, taking the card and the paper with all his tasks on it, before walking out of the office, closing the door behind him.

matt's pov:

"god, why am i so anxious?" he mutters to himself as he walks down to the coffee shop nearby. "that was pathetic, really, matt? 'yes, ma'am, matt'?? you just need to stop talking," he says in his head, almost embarrassed at his prior words.

"she was pretty, though, didn't expect her to be so young," he thinks as he walks into the elevator.

30 minutes later:

"fuck, she's gonna be so pissed, i'm so late," he says in his head as he runs back to the office.

he knocks on the door and hears her say, 'come in.' well that's a good sign; she didn't shout. he walks into the room carrying a small potted plant and her espresso, pain au chocolat, and my latte.

"espresso," he says stiffly as he places the drink down on her desk, she looks up at him with a smile, noticing the latte in his hand, "latte," she says repeating in the same awkward tone, which makes him smile a little, knowing she clearly wasn't annoyed at his lateness, despite her lack of anger, hei felt the need to apologise profusely.

"before you say, i'm late, i really, really apologise, but i just wanted to thank you for not laughing in my face earlier, and i noticed there aren't any plants in your office. so i thought i'd bring you your first," he looks around the room and spots a large potted plant in the corner by the desk. she looks over at him with a small smile, nonetheless, as he continues to dig himself into a hole.

"there is a plant in your office," he says with an awkward smile, "yea, i guess there is," she says lightly chuckling at his awkwardness.

"so, i guess i shouldn't put being attentive as my best trait on my resume." he says trying not to laugh at himself. "you won't need one of those just yet, go, get some work done, latte, i think you might like it here," she says with a smile, "but before you go, i'll take that plant, looks nice," she says jokingly, before he can say anything.

"sorry, again, sorry, i promise it won't happen again," he fumbles over his words, in attempt to get himself back together. which makes her smile again as he walks out of the office.

random notes i had for this au:

for latte¡matt: - reminds me of a more awkward version tag jones from friends, but with a slight coffee addiction, obviously. - his feelings about espresso¡reader are unclear, for now. - attempts to be super sweet and helpful, and succeeds every time.

for espresso¡reader: - super confident and self-aware. she is super professional, but also light-hearted when she wants to be. - an excellent boss, and tries to be as nice as possible whilst maintaining professionalism. - jokingly acts stern before letting it go right away.

similar au's: personalassistant¡chris and busyceo¡reader by @theyluvivi and employee matt and boss reader by @chrattho1

au masterlist: latte¡matt sturniolo x espresso¡reader

©ABSIFOFHWS 2025

[johanna-swann]

Okay, so this is going to sound very conspiracy theory like, but here's what I think happened (in regards to Bobby's death, Tommy being back, Eddie still not being back and a general outlook on season 9).

I think Tim Minear came back to the show, they moved to a different network, they churned out half a season somehow between multiple strikes and other adjustments. They put a lot of money into the opening disaster which worked and got fans excited. They peppered in soap opera style plot points throughout the rest of the season (wedding episode, Buck coming out, Doppelgänger plot, reintroducing Bobby's background, new Henren kid) because the fans care about the characters and what happens to them. There was barely any procedural in this drama throughout most of season 7, it was 90% the characters' personal drama they showed.

But people were willing to overlook this because at least all the characters had stuff going on and there were extenuating circumstances. Then season 8a rolled around. Once again they went big on the opening disaster, after that though?

Most of the plots introduced in season 7 were dropped immediately. Bobby was suicidal at the end of last season, he's fine in 8x01 though. The conflict between Eddie and Christopher is mentioned here and there, but we don't see Eddie working on his issues. Ortiz is defeated and written out of the show in the very first episode after the opening disaster. Athena gets her thriller plot in the opening disaster and then gets sidelined for the next idk how many episodes. Maddie and Chimney are barely main characters at all, they mostly just exist in the background. The only relevant plot they kept going was Bucktommy, but even they only got insubstantial comedy side plots until they were suddenly broken up. The mid-season finale was a huge let-down and there was barely anything interesting going on in the show anymore.

Here's where the conspiracy part begins: Without the distraction of at least one engaging plot to follow and the lack of new episodes coming in viewers started to notice that the show was treading water. Then the feedback started to trickle in and it wasn't good. I think that's when they decided that they really had to do something that would shake things up and change things permanently. They had already filmed the serial killer two parter though, so they only made small changes / additions (Buddie goodbye scene) and started to really write stories with a lasting impact again post 8x10.

Call me crazy, but I think they really didn't plan to bring Tommy back, not so soon and not as Buck's love interest. That's not what the interviews sounded like back in November. But then, only a few episodes after the break-up suddenly Tommy was back, they showed how both Buck and Tommy still have feelings for each other and literally made Buck say the words "I am not in love with Eddie". There will be no more "will they won't they" "queerbaity-ish" plots between Buck and Eddie, that conversation is over. They gave a nod to the fandom by bringing it up like "yeah, we see you" and at the same time let them down gently by saying "we're going another direction though". That is a very permanent decision for a show that doesn't like change. The way they keep bringing Tommy back, even when he's only mentioned, could very well also mean he's here to stay which means giving Buck, the resident perpetual bachelor, a permanent love interest. Another huge change.

The second thing they did was remove Eddie from the equation. Not completely, not permanently, not yet. But let me just throw the idea out there: What if this was a test run? A "let's not get rid of him just yet, let's see if we can manage without him first". So they sent Eddie to Texas. Finally did something with that plot, even if it was severely disappointing and made no sense. (The problem was that Eddie had issues he didn't work on and in the process hurt his kid and broke his trust. Then we see them in Texas, but suddenly Eddie's mom is the actual problem while Christopher is super chill around Eddie? When the last time we saw them speak to each other Christopher barely wanted to talk to Eddie? Make it make sense.) Anyway, Eddie still got his screen time, but they kept him firmly separated from the 118. Buck was on the phone with Eddie a few times, mostly so Eddie would have a scene partner who he could talk to openly, nobody else even mentioned Eddie. Bobby accidentally called Ravi "Eddie" twice, but I think that was more about Ravi feeling like maybe he doesn't belong rather than Bobby actually missing Eddie. So yeah, maybe this was a trial run to see if they can do season 9 without Eddie and so far I have to admit, I don't really miss him? I'm sure they could've worked him into the recent two parter, but they definitely didn't need him.

Third they brought back Ravi and this time everyone is happy to have him there. Buck tries to actually be his friend this time around, gets to be a mentor figure for him and Ravi has his small "maybe I'm not cut out for this" to "I'll commit domestic terrorism if that's what it takes" arc. 8x14 really cemented that Ravi is a part of the team and he chooses to be a part of this team. He's a pall bearer in Bobby's funeral for god's sake, he belongs to the 118 - a 118 that needs new members because they're losing at least one this season. So. Ravi main season 9?

Big change number 4 - Bobby's death. A main character death is a big, big stunt. If they decide they don't like Tommy for Buck after all, they can change their minds later. If they decide they want Eddie back, they can leave options open to bring him back later. Bobby's death? They can't walk that one back. Bobby and Buck are probably the most central characters for the firefam (Bobby as the patriarch and Buck as the link between all sides of the family) and Peter Krause is no small name on tv. This is not a move they would've pulled if they weren't committed to making drastic changes to a show that previously had come to a bit of a standstill. They want to change the very foundation of this show. If they're willing to kill off one of the main characters among main characters, what else are they willing to change? Some of the above? All of it?

The final piece is still very vague, but they also said they wanted to keep Athena connected to the 118 in a tangible way. People have suggested that May might become a firefighter, but tbh I don't think it would fit. She already was a part of the first responder network for an entire year and then decided to go to uni anyway. Athena went to uni and then decided to become a cop instead, May did it the other way around. Why would they change that again now? I think it's more likely that a) Harry graduates and applies to the academy or that b) they'll make May and Ravi a couple. The latter could also make sense if they're trying to keep the same amount and kinds of couples around. If Buck and Tommy really get back together and become a permanent fixture in the 911 universe, May and Ravi could be the new "will they won't they" couple who keep running into stupid hurdles because they're not sure what they're doing while Bucktommy slowly settle down.

Conclusion: Big changes are on the horizon for 911, they already vaguely teased that there may be cast changes other than just Peter Krause being gone for season 9. I think they decided that some major changes needed to happen during the winter hiatus and then talked about a few possibilities, tried some of them and are now ready to finalise those decisions. Maybe one of the reasons that filming is coming along so slowly is that they weren't sure yet which route to go, had to re-shoot scenes or filmed several versions to choose from. (There are soooo many stills that never showed up in an episode.) Idk, but what I do know is that there are a lot of possibilities for permanent change to choose from and they seem committed to actually go through with those changes this time.

[ofgeography]

Hi Molly! Congrats on your book and all of the exciting stuff happening in your corner; long-time listener/first-time caller here, it is fantastic to see you putting art of all kinds out into the world. If you're at all inclined, would you be willing to talk a little about how you got into the studio to record your albums? How did you choose your producer or studio/what was the process working with studio musicians like? How fleshed out were the demos that you brought in, in terms of instrumentation/polish/etc.? I'm very curious, as I'm slowly amassing songs I'd like to record, but have no idea where to start/what to expect. Thanks!!!

hello my sweet! i'm happy to talk about this, although i'm not sure how replicable my ~process is.

i originally started recording because at my mom's house, whenever she has a party, it almost always devolves into everybody playing music and messing around. and at one of these, my mom's friend john, who is a professional musician (slash deep-sea fisherman), was like, hey you're actually pretty good do you want me to introduce you to a producer i know who lives on the island (my mom lives on an island). and i was like.....sure. so in terms of "choosing" a studio or a producer i don't have any good insight for you because i was just like. introduced to a man named greg, who i happened to vibe with super well and everything just kind of worked out.

that being said! there are a ton of websites where you can put in your location and pick from profiles; the one i think has the best rep is SoundBetter.

most of my songs were pretty fleshed out, in terms of lyrics/melody/structure, and i worked with greg to be like, okay, now that i can hire people to do stuff, what would i want to build this song into? (for example, mile magnificent has an accordion in it. i do not play the accordion.) plus, i am good enough at the instruments that i play that i can make myself a demo that's like ... "this is how i want the song to go, and the vibe i'm looking for," but i certainly can't shred on guitar or whatever, so most of the songs (except a couple) i hired a guitarist to play it. or made my brother do it, because he's a very gifted instrumentalist (bastard).

but there were certainly bits where i was like, "i like the meat of this song but i don't love what i'm doing on the bridge" or whatever, and then it was a matter of messing around in the studio to figure out what worked better.

this also means there's songs where i'm sharing songwriting credit with (for example) greg, because he meaningfully contributed to changing something about the song. that's something we worked out based on vibes after the fact, but don't do that. that worked out for me but it's not like. an actual process you should follow. you should be clear with the person you're working with and they should be clear with you.

really the number one thing i think probably is important is you find someone to work with who you like. you could have, idk, jack antonoff or whatever, but if you guys don't vibe, it's going to be a bad experience, and you're probably not going to end up with music that feels authentic to you. so that's what i'd say in terms of choice.

final thing: i don't have a record label, which means that i paid for all of my music. greg very sweetly didn't charge me for studio time, but most people probably will, plus for whatever services they're rendering (musicians, mastering, production, etc etc). it's a sliding scale of cost, but obviously the harder you go the bigger the expense. i want to be transparent about that. i was able to pay to play because i was able to pay to play.

recording in a studio with a producer is one way to do it but it's an expensive way if you don't have a label (and even, frankly, if you DO have a label). and you don't make a lot of money streaming, so it's income you probably won't get back (unless you blow up!). i would say i make between $200 - $400 from streaming, every ... few months? and don't get me wrong, that's great, i'm very grateful! but the cost going in was like. $9k (about $3k per album). so given all of my streams, which is more than 2 million, even using the highest streaming revenue it took me 2 years to make back.

if that's not possible for you, there are TONS of ways you can do it yourself. it won't be the same experience! but the product can end up just as great, and honestly sometimes better. for example there's stuff like:

soundtrap (probably the best non-Logic Pro track builder, not free though)

audacity (no-frills, but free)

cakewalk (free! and very intuitive.)

all of these can help you record yourself. and sure, you CAN buy all the fancy microphones and stuff, but frankly, you don't have to. iphones & computers etc have gotten to the point where you can do really good work with just those. so i don't want the money stuff to discourage you, i just want you to go in with your eyes open.

i hope this helps!!!

[florawriting]

Shazam CrackFics (#1?): Darla and the Ghostbusters

I saw the movie again yesterday, sue me!

Philly is weird, right? Especially Fawcett. Well four certain Ghostbusters thought the same and decided that a location there would be far more sustainable for business.

Meanwhile, Darla is a bit out of a purpose. Since Billy can't share the powers of Shazam anymore she needs to find other things to fill in her days. Today she was trying out odd jobs around town.

One day she walked past a new business that had opened when she saw a man having a hard time washing various kinds of gunk of a large white car. Darla innocently asked if she could do it for some spare change, which the man happily obliged to. Since then Darla is kind of employed as the resident car washer for spare change, some food the men share with her and overall good company.

Some of the things that will happen:

The ghostbusters will try to threat lightly about the fact that ghosts exists because "We don't want to scare the girl" only to realize that Darla is extremely unphased by the existence of ghosts, ghouls and monsters in general. (They blame it on Fawcett's weirdness)

Ray Stantz (the first Ghostbuster Darla meets) and Egon Spengler get along very well with Darla and like to explain how everything works, in time also allowing her to do more odd jobs around the building. Peter Venkman is a bit weary if this is considered child employment and Winston Zeddemore is a bit worried about the fact that Darla is seemingly unphased by all this.

At a certain moment during a job the Ghostbusters need something specific from the building but can't get it in time so Darla steps in to deliver it (be it on foot or on a bike or something). The Ghostbusters feel a bit bad about asking a little girl to go into basically a warzone, meanwhile Darla is in a happy mood of "Just like old times"

I can imagine Ray getting her a small version of the Ghostbusters overalls because he doesn't want her cloths to get dirty when cleaning the car or delivering stuff around.

Rosa, Victor and the rest of the Shazamily are not aware she is doing all of this BTW. She tells them that she is doing small odd jobs for this guy and non of the things she told them are raising any alarm bells. (Rosa and Victor are also certain that she wouldn't be doing it if she didn't enjoy it)

This all cumulates when a superhero level ghosttreat is happening in Philly and both the Ghostbusters and the Champions are fighting it separately. Darla is with the Ghostbusters helping to trap ghosts by acting as distraction and hoisting around necessary tech. (She is absolutely loving the trill of the fight) At a certain point the Ghostbusters and Champions cross paths, the Ghostbusters are a bit weary because they haven't really spoken to them until this point and through research they kinda know what their deal is and they surely don't want to deal with another batch of gods. Also they clearly are taking a child into a dangerous zone. Meanwhile Darla is just acting like ":3 hi" against the champions who act like tired siblings back to her. They are shocked, yes, and possibly a bit angry but at this point they should have seen it coming from a mile away and they know they can't really stop her so they allow her to help out if she promises to stay safe. Que to the Ghostbusters with surprised Pikachu faces in the background as they try to make sense of this interaction. Darla had to tell Rosa and Victor afterwards which was a bummer :(

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What would you say your least favorite episodes are? Which episodes would you say are the worst, from a storytelling and thematic standpoint? Are your two lists mostly the same, or almost completely different?

Miraculous has 130 episodes in the first five seasons and there's no way in hell that I'm going to try to rank them all, so I'll just look at the episode list and give you my personal picks for my least favorite episode and the episode that did the most damage to canon from each season. Please note that this is just what my memory serves up as the worst since I'm not rewatching the whole show to give each episode more thorough consideration. I'll also list any episodes I considered just for the fun of it and link to my posts on them (or more broad posts where I happened to talk about that episode in detail) if I remember that such posts exist.

Season 1

Least Favorite: The Pharaoh

Worst writing: Lady Wifi

Dishonorable Mentions: The Bubbler, Copycat, Kung Food, Gamer, Animan, Volpina

It was hard to pick episodes in season one because there aren't any truly major problems in this season. A lot of the episodes have weird morals or odd choices, but there's nothing narrative breaking and the odd morals are all pretty equally bad. I went with The Pharaoh for my personal least favorite because of how appallingly bad the Egyptology is. Anything that contributes to people having wildly inaccurate ideas about Ancient Egypt goes on my shit list. No, ancient Egyptians did not use magic spells to try to resurrect people! They didn't even believe in the resurrection of their own gods! Their beliefs were all focused on giving people a good afterlife, not on bringing people back to this life!

Lady Wifi got the label as worst written mostly for reasons external to the episode itself, though there are internal problems. The first reason is that this episode really leaned into the idea that Alya was obsessed with outing Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities to the world, leading her to do some questionable snooping. I would expect an episode like this to end with a lesson about respecting people's privacy, but it doesn't. The episode ends with Alya doing the same stuff she was doing at the start, just with a more benign target:

Alya: Wanna see my new smartphone? It puts my old phone to shame! Just look at these pics! Marinette: Huh? What's with all these photos of Adrien? Alya: Well... with a mask and a costume, don't you think he looks a little bit like Cat Noir?

You'd think that she'd be a little more impacted by the fact that her akumatized self almost handled her idol over to the bad guy! Note that I don't want Alya to feel guilty here, I just want her to look at her akuma and reflect a bit, leading to character growth. Something like Marinette asking Alya who her next suspect is and Alya announcing that she's done outing heroes. It's time to out a villain instead!

The small-scale side of this problem is that it leaves the episode without a clear lesson, making the episode feel kind of pointless. The large-scale side of the problem is that Alya's character genuinely needed a lesson around respecting privacy because she goes on to become Rena Rouge without the show ever addressing the issue of her identity-revealing obsession. I think that was a bad call for Alya's character and the show itself.

This was a missed opportunity to give Alya some majorly deserved focus that had nothing to do with her role as best friend to the lead. Season two introduced three new heroes, but Chloe was the only one given a multi-episode storyline. Nino and Alya just randomly got their miraculous in one-off episodes even though they're leads' best friends and the heroes who stick around. I would have liked to see them get storylines, too.

Based on season one, Alya could have been given her miraculous after an arc focused on earning Ladybug's trust. This could have even ended with Alya learning Marinette's identity if you want to keep that plot point. Instead the show just decided to pretend like the identity-revealing obsession was never a thing from season two on and Alya doesn't really do anything to earn a miraculous. She just gets one because she's Marinette's bff. I think Alya deserves better than that.

The other reason also relates to Alya's overall writing. If memory serves, Lady Wifi was the first case of Alya being written more like a tabloid journalist than an actual reporter, an issue that has plagued her character for the rest of the show because the writers cannot make up their minds as to which one she is! Does she investigate things or just believe whatever crap she's told? Pick a lane, give a reason for the nuance, or give her a character arc around being more discerning! It even makes some of her actions jarring like when she posts the kissing photo at the end of Oblivio. Alya, what are you doing? Those are your coworkers and you know that Ladybug hates the Ladynoir stuff!!!

The tabloid journalist to true reporter route could have been another way to play Alya's miraculous journey. Introduce Lila at the end of season one, have an Alya-focused arc around defeating Lila in season two, and let the arc end with Alya learning to be more discerning thereby earning her miraculous. The lesson would be something like it's good to have an active imagination, but we need to be careful to not conflate a good story with facts.

Season 2

Least Favorite: Queen Wasp (Queen's battle – Part 2)

Worst writing: The Collector

Dishonorable Mentions: Despair Bear, Prime Queen, Gigantitan, Glaciator, Anansi, Frozer, Reverser

This season had several strong contenders, but I picked the two I did because they're both narrative breaking on a scale the others can't even come close to.

Everything about the Chloe arc is a mess and Queen Wasp perfectly encapsulates the issue because nothing about it works in the overall narrative. Queen Wasp is the episode where Chloe gets her miraculous for the first time and it is the least interesting way you could possibly go about her big debut. It also introduces the running issue of the writers having no idea what they're doing with her character. This episode was written like Queen Bee was going to be a one off and yet she keeps coming back! This was also the first of many episodes that totally botched addressing Chloe's mommy issues. I could go on, but I doubt that I have to. See my Chloe deserves better tag if you really want more Chloe content.

The Collector gets the award for worst writing because it's the first instance of the show introducing a ton of things that should have been important to the overall narrative only for the writing to forget about these things after the end of the episode. Ladybug never tries to find out more about where Gabriel got the grimoire, Adrien forgets that the grimoire exists, and Lila knowing about the grimoire somehow has nothing to do with her figuring out that Gabriel is the butterfly holder. We're also introduced to the lore that the butterfly holder can akumatize themself which is total BS. This should have been the big villain Nathalie reveal! They could have officially confirmed that she knew everything by having her be the stand in Hawk Moth to protect Gabriel's identity.

Season 3

Least Favorite: Chameleon

Worst writing: Chat Blanc

Dishonorable Mentions: Backwarder, Animaestro, Bakerix, Reflekdoll, Oni-Chan, Desperada, Ikari Gozen, Timetagger, Ladybug, Miracle Queen

Notice how the list of dishonorable mentions keeps getting longer and longer as the show goes on? I have a sneaking suspicion that trend will continue.

I think the fandom has beaten the problems with Chameleon to death, so I'll keep this brief. This episode was the first time Lila's lying powers were super obvious and I hated that writing choice with a fiery passion. I also hated how Adrien never got a proper character arc about why it was wrong to stay quiet about lies. It's a good flaw for a celebrity to have, but flaws are only good if they're actually addressed in a timely manner. A fact that is extra true when you're writing for young children who generally aren't going to be able to follow a minor subplot that takes three seasons to resolve.

For Chat Blanc, see the power of love rant as that covers my main issues with this episode. Since that post has the main issues covered, let's go over two more minor issues! The first is the way Tom and Sabine were played here. One of my favorite fix-it fics was spawned because canon had them do nothing after they saw their teenage daughter threatened by a powerful adult. Good parents don't do that! Let them be good parents!

Adrien keeping his identity from Marinette is the other mark against Chat Blanc, but I do think canon could have made that work. The problem is less that he did it and more that canon acted like it was no big deal. Letting him wrestle with wanting to address the partial reveal, but also wanting to respect Ladybug's no-reveal rule would have heavily mitigated the issue. Having Marinette ask Adrien out would have done even more to solve the problem because then it doesn't feel like he's taking advantage of the situation (which is a common and understandable complaint that I've seen), but heaven forbid that we let the girl ask the boy out!

Season 4

Least Favorite: Ephemeral

Worst writing: Strikeback

Dishonorable Mentions: Truth, Lies, Gang of Secrets, Mr. Pigeon 72, Furious Fu, Sole Crusher, Queen Banana, Optigami, Sentibubbler, Rocketear, Wishmaker, Hack-San, Glaciator 2, Gabriel Agreste, Kuro Neko, Penalteam, Qilin

...yes, I did list pretty much every episode in the season. What's funny is that I don't necessarily like the ones I didn't list, they just didn't feel like major problems for the show or get under my skin to the level of things like Qilin. Meanwhile some of the problem children had parts I genuinely liked, but still made the list because of some major issue I couldn't overlook. For example, I like the ending of Glaciator 2, but think the first half of the episode has a lot of major problems.

Ephemeral almost got both spots because it has so many issues, but the timeline does get reset at the end, so I decided I'd give the win to the episode that's in the canon timeline. My biggest issue with Ephemeral is the power of love crap, but I'm once again linking to the power of love rant for details on that.

That's not the only major issue with this episode, though. Marinette's plan for how to reveal Chat Noir's identity was both horrendous and totally unnecessary. If time is going to reset, then just tell Chat Noir the truth of what you're planning! Then he can give informed consent on the issue! You could even have him go talk to Luka solo without a time reset coming into play!

Speaking of Luka, I wasn't a fan of Luka continuing to lie to Ladybug about the fact that he knew the secret identities. He carries a small part of the blame here for not stopping Marinette's crazy plan when he had the power to do that. Su-Han also gets a spot on the shit list but he basically lives there so that's not worth digging into.

If Strikeback had led into a really cool season five, then I'd probably give it some slack, but Gabriel getting the kwamis was pretty freaking pointless so no mercy!!!! This episode was a writing disaster that makes no freaking sense! There's the obvious problem that the writers had to hand Felix the win by breaking the lore for Ladybug's yo-yo, but the issues go well beyond that. We also get Ladybug giving a rant about flaws that the season never actually gave her and Ladybug losing because of an evil twin and not because of anything she actually did wrong, once again undermining her apology because it feels like her blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault instead of her owning up to actual flaws that cost her something. Add in the fact that the real reason for the loss was the identities which are still a secret as of season six and this episode can go die in the fiery heart of the sun!

Extra points off for making Felix seem interesting and then squandering all of that by turning him into Kagami's discount Adrien consolation prize. Extra extra points off for letting Adrien find Felix's stupid spyglass and then using that for nothing in season five. There were so many good setups here but a setup is only as good as its payoff and the payoffs were all shit!

Season 5

Least Favorite: Derision

Worst writing: The final parts one and two

Dishonorable Mentions: Every other episode in the season.

In season four, I said that I liked a lot of the episodes on the dishonorable mentions list, they just had some fatal flaw that got them on the list. The same is not true here. I didn't enjoy a single episode in season five. Only positive moment I can think of is the hand raise scene in Kwamis Choice. That was cute, but not cute enough to save that disaster of an episode.

I've ranted about Derision a lot and shared many posts from others, so I'll just link to one of those rants and one of those posts, then give a quick tl;dr here. This episode makes Marinette look unhinged and is a massive retcon that makes no freaking sense. It's also the only time Miraculous has genuinely upset me on an emotional level. Other episodes have worse messages, but this showed such a fundamental lack of writing ability and critical thinking skills that it got to me. I doubt that anything could have made me keep watching the show after the disaster that was the season five final, but Derision was where I first decided that season five was it for me. After Derision aired I stopped watching the episodes as they came out and just waited for the whole season to be streaming because I legitimately didn't care anymore. I knew wherever we were heading was going to be a bad time.

The final gets another link to the power of love rant because that's my biggest issue with it, but there's obviously a wealth of problems at work here. No, Marinette didn't win because Gabriel changed his mind. He rewrote the universe to his desired state! That's a hands down win. Also, his reason for changing his mind was laughably bad. A video? Seriously? Terrible writing. Adrien being lied to was terrible. Adrien being kept completely out of the final fight was terrible. The resistance doing nothing useful was terrible. The special-only characters showing up was confusing. Emilie dying was boring. Saving Nathalie was boring. The list goes on and on. Just a total embarrassment of a season final with bonus embarrassment from the fact that this was initially the series finale meaning that anything the later seasons do to imply that this was bad is basically a retcon.

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

I've been thinking about that again lately - especially the point about Cassian being an unconventional male lead in the movie - and I think what annoys me so much about the Andor characterisation (besides how little there is of it sometimes) is that it reads like a character who was reconfigured for the male gaze in many ways.

Rogue One Cassian:

a guy who committed fully to a cause at a very young age, and was clearly destroying himself in the attempt to hang on to that idealism. Yes, that man killed people without flinching, and was clearly prepared to do it all over again, but he was also wracked with guilt over it

implied to be a good manipulator (Tivik, who is clearly very afraid, still agreed to meet him and give him a huge secret; he convinced Bodhi they'll make it off Scarif; holds good speeches; described as a great recruiter by his superiors in the additional publications)

but clearly winging it most of the time, and not often suave

no hint of being great with women (calling Jyn's commitment to the cause inadequate and privileged, trying to tell her what she is feeling, then returning and offering her an army of people willing to die for her is... inelegant as far as flirting goes tbh)

kept being one-upped by the female lead in physical fights

took orders readily, deferentially and silently, both from his CO and (gasp!) the female lead

there was no specific personal loss that had pushed him into caring, although he did tell Jyn she was "not the only one who lost everything", it was never specified if that made him pick up the fight or not

he was the organised stickler to Jyn's rebellious chaotic approach

he was largely a reactive character, shifted around by the plot and, most importantly, by following Jyn

failed his main assignment, not because anything out of his control went wrong, but because he couldn't bring himself to shoot Galen

his arc was relearning (or, possibly, learning for the first time) to assert his own judgement over his superiors, which is a storyline usually given to female characters

meanwhile, here is what Tony Gilroy saw in Cassian:

source: Vanity Fair

Couple things here.

"A perfect kind of spy" - yeah! But in a real-world sense, not a James Bond sense. Because James Bond is actually a really bad spy. Cool, but terrible. He leaves a trail of women he fucked whom he told secrets to and who can be used to manipulate or trace him, he tells everyone his government name for no reason, he is drunk, keeps killing people who could tell him stuff, and cannot stop drawing attention to himself. An actual good spy is unassuming and nonthreatening, and sure, charming and attractive doesn't hurt but not in a way that people will remember. A spy who is the hottest thing since sliced bread? Way too conspicuous. The Cassian we see in the movie defaults to make himself nonthreatening at every opportunity - making himself look goofy and clumsy ("oh no, my gloves!"), smiling, making himself smaller, letting himself get kidnapped with no earnest attempt to resist or retaliate.

He is not the perfect warrior. He is a good shot and appears to have an ungodly pain tolerance, but we never see him engage in violence in the way that "warrior" stereotypically implies. It is never implied he is adept at any strength-based combat and he will not get up close and personal. This man never beats up anyone, he is not reckless when outnumbered, and his main contribution to the final fight is drawing fire and covering the protagonist, and almost immediately getting hit.

"The perfect killer" who, again, had the perfect chance to execute a vital enemy target and didn't, simply because he emotionally could not do it. Great analysis, man, no notes!

I think the interpretation of "seductive" isn't wrong in regards to R1!Cassian, looking especially at his speeches in the latter half - except, of course, on Andor we end up with that being reflected both by Cassian being suddenly incredible at massive feats of manipulation (while being unable to lie to his mother or convince people to get off his back about the money he owes them, somehow), AND literally by Cassian being a flirt and womaniser. Which, again, really works against him being a good spy, and also goes against the characterisation of the movie. Sure, you could say he was weird around Jyn because he had a crush, or because he wasn't into her, but Cassian seemed so burned out most of the movie that I just can't picture him mustering the energy for any kind of hedonism.

The last bit of that quote is such an upsetting mischaracterisation of Cassian's final acts, and I really hope that's just because it was phrased weirdly. Because "How do you get to that place and then sacrifice yourself" implies that Cassian felt he was top of his game, and proud of it, and sacrifice was an active step he took in spite of that. Cassian visibly resented himself for his actions. He repeatedly put himself in harm's way with no hesitation and very little care for his life before the finale. Giving his life was not sacrificing something good for a win. Scarif was his redemption. This is very clearly stated in dialogue. Cassian viewed this victory as making things right with the world, and seemed mostly relieved to die on the beach. I don't understand how a writer could not get that.

But yeah, overall Cassian, while still a very tragic character (and still played by the man with the saddest eyes in the biz), has become way more of a male action hero type in Andor. The initial Han-Solo-esque blasé attitude and reluctance to fight, the mercenary mentality, the petty criminal background are all things typically associated with the Cool Tough Guy, traits which he emphatically did not have before. Also, I get that Cassian and his skillset would be a great asset to Luthen, but I feel like Cassian from Rogue One was emphatically not a guy who any recruiter ever treated like God's gift to the cause, and Luthen repeatedly makes the point that his own life and the invaluable imperial tech Cassian stole are worth the risk of recruiting... some thief who can lie okay? Luthen's early treatment of Cassian is oddly chosen-one coded, and I never felt like that was earned. But it makes Cassian look badass! Which was probably the main intention behind all that. And then the constant bitchiness about submitting to authority. I'm obviously not talking about the prison arc, I mean when he was receiving very necessary training on Aldhani or even when he has a go at Kleya for giving him bad intel before stealing the TIE in season 2. That is simply wildly out of character for the man we saw in Rogue One - but it is more palatable for the kind of male viewers who think masculinity is always asserting dominance. If your pov character can't be in command just yet, he can at least be bitching about the ones who are. And making him so slow to care for the broader cause makes it look like he's not ever really acting out of conviction so much as he seems to be avenging personal losses and harm to himself and people he personally knows. Which is also a much more traditional motivation for a male character.

We do still see Cassian flounder a lot, but in a way that makes him look much better than in Rogue One, because it's always established that he's a) new at this and b) even if he comes in prepped for a situation, it was always on a notably short deadline or with extra hurdles. He was brought into Aldhani three days before go time; they have to orchestrate the prison break with very limited amount of communication; he was ill-prepared for the theft of the TIE (and also apparently only there for a few hours? why not send him in for a few days, to watch other people fly the thing?); he had virtually no time to make any kind of plan before trying to extract his friends from the farm planet. R1!Cassian was much more reliant on prep and planning (the whole operation up until Jedha had clearly been planned for a long time), and was skilled at improvising when that plan - his plan - inevitably went sideways. In Andor, every fuck-up appears to be outside of his control, and he was mostly winging it anyway! Any success is therefore impressive and cool, and a dunk on all the other idiots who spent so long planning it.

The only truly dumb choice he makes is executing Skeen before he can prove to anyone that Skeen was going to betray them - and here we do see him be the cold killer that Gilroy seems to think he is! Because that was not ordered, did not further any cause but to satisfy his anger at being successfully lied to, and there was no shadow of self-defense in it. It's not necessarily a thing I can't see R1!Cassian doing, especially a younger version - but it does run counter to the portrayal we got, of a man who "did everything I did [...] for the Rebellion", who hated killing so much he eventually couldn't even do it when it did further the cause. And, crucially, Andor!Cassian never once seems to feel the slightest bit of guilt over the people he's killed so far - only people who got killed because of him or beside him, like Nemik or Kino, and even there guilt didn't seem to be the thing that lingers, he's mostly angry. Which is fair, both for the themes they're exploring and as a possible backstory for the character, but again, much more palatable to that certain male audience.

Lastly, this is even in the clothing! It pains me to do anything but rave about Andor's costuming because it is divine, but... they even dressed him kind of like a cowboy in his intro (see this post). R1!Cassian spent a large part of the movie in a floofy parka that his frame completely disappeared in, face haloed by soft fur, and was otherwise dressed pretty much in army fatigues (except for the Imperial uniform and the sexy black leather jacket in the intro, which might be where Gilroy pulled the inexplicable Bond vibes from??). Also, we get a shot of his ass but not of Jyn's, which is very funny but I don't know if I want to pretend this is a serious argument or not. Andor sees him in much more leather and suede in more muted colours, coarser materials, long, swooping open coats with a more classically adventure-hero type silhouette (when he gets to pick his own wardrobe, of course). And, of course, there's a shirtless scene, too.

so yeah, I know a lot of people will not vibe with this assessment because Cassian in Andor is still, unlike a lot of action leads written by men, not a creep or a misogynist. But they still retconned or reshaped a lot of the traits that made him so inadequate to a lot of male Star Wars fans in the movie, and as someone who thought that was very sexy of Cassian that's just such a bummer.

Nah I gotta say something.

After watching Rogue One all of the characters are amazing. I literally love them all. Some people saying Cassian was their favorite. I love him, he’s my blorbo.

And then Andor completely retconning his entire character, personality and background and everything we knew at all whatsoever, some people still say that this was why the SAME GUY was always the fave ???

I loved him because he was a refreshingly different male lead. Because he wasn’t some brooding loser but was intentional in being a leader within the rebellion no matter the costs. And then they made him out to be a reluctant cowboy?

I get liking both canons. I get still loving this new character and the old. I get trying to bridge the differences. But completely ignoring the fact that they changed his everything and acting like it was the same guy, it’s so sad seeing so many people never gave a shit at all in the first place when they claimed to. Maybe it’s just me being naive but that’s actually wild to me male characters can be completely contradicted and still be valued over their female counterparts. I actually hate y’all.

[sodapopcurtis-dx-asks]

Elisa pushed the door open once again, a small smile gracing her lips once she’d seen Soda, “Hi, you. I was worried when you didn’t show. Did you run into trouble?”

@dearelisa

Soda sat up promptly as he recognized Elisa, eyes readjusting—widening then resting—as he got a good look at her.

“H–Hey, yeah. Sorry about that!” He nods, leaning over the counter to smile at her. “I would've called you, honest. I've been—” He glanced around a bit. He looked a mess. “—sleeping. I didn't get any rest last night.”

Soda pushed a piece of hair out of his face, and sighed. “Ponyboy, baby brother, the poor damn kid. He got caught in this mess with some classmate. Got high out of his mind.” He shook his head, frowning. “I had to run off early from work for him.”

“I honestly thought it wouldn't be bad, until... well. Until I saw him, really.” He shrugs, staring blankly ahead of him. “Jesus...”

Soda sighed, looking back up at Elisa and smiling nervously. He felt terrible. He still looked exhausted, despite his short nap.

“I'm awful sorry I didn't say anything. I had to deal with police n' all sorts of stuff because someone tried breaking in when Ponyboy was taken home, I just—” Soda huffed, “—I'm bad at explaining this, honestly.” He laughed a bit.

“D–Do you wanna reschedule, maybe...?” Soda ran a finger around the rim of the counter as he stared up at Elisa and grinned.

[weaselle]

duuude, i just made the most bomb summer pasta. The recipe sort of wrote itself into my head while i was driving a couple weeks ago and i finally cooked it tonight. It's just some classic flavors put together, i didn't reinvent the wheel or anything but if you're curious here's how to do it

PASTA cook some pasta in salted water (egg noodles will work just fine) You're gonna serve it at room temp, so get this going first. When your pasta is done, drain it well and then add either a tiny bit of olive oil or a small pat of butter and mix that in real good. This will prevent your pasta concealing into a bug stuck-together lump. Set the pasta aside in the pot you cooked it in whenever it's done.

SALMON at the same time, cook some salmon in olive oil. Like, for each person eating cook a small lunch sized portion of salmon, all at once in a pan together. Use a decent amount of olive oil, like most of a tablespoon per salmon portion, it's going to be part of the sauce later. Set the cooked salmon aside.

time for SAUCE

GARLIC and DRIED HERBS/DILL now in the pan you cooked the salmon in, with all the oil and stuff from cooking it still in the pan, add a bunch of minced garlic. How much garlic? as always, the maximum amount you dare to use -- when it's sizzling good but not browning yet add some dried herbs, i used some "italian mix" (which i could probably have left out, but put anything you think would go good here) and then i added a bunch of dried dill, which is probably also optional if you want, but if you don't use any of these then you could probably throw some minced onions in with your garlic or something just to add some complexity to your flavor profile. But maybe you really want the main character flavors to shine, skip everything but the garlic if you want

WINE When whatever you used is starting to brown a bit, stop it from getting any darker by adding a big ol splash of white wine. Uh. Like maybe a 1/3 of a cup per portion, so, make sure it's the cheap stuff.

VINEGAR after that bubbles away for five minutes or so, add some vinegar (i used a pretty small splash each of three different kinds for funsies, but a medium big splash of almost any kind except white vinegar should do you fine).

SWEET to balance out the vinegar you want some sugar. I used a big ol spoon full of onion garlic jam for this, because i happen to have a jar of it that i've been struggling to find uses for. But since you probably don't have that and/or don't want to spend money on that, i would say one or two spoons of honey, actual sugar, or, if you happen to specifically have blackberry jam that could work good for this sauce.

SALT add salt. Taste now. The sauce should be as salty as a potato chip, and have pretty strong flavors, because it's going to get diluted.

BUTTER kill the fire under the pan, drop in a big pat of butter, stir it around slowly until the butter disappears into the sauce. This changes the texture and flavor of the sauce in a way that simply cooking the butter into the sauce doesn't do, the butter has to melt into a sauce that has begun the act of cooling down.

MIX PASTA AND SALMON now your salmon should be cool enough to break into smallish chunks and stir into the pasta. It's going to break apart more as you stir, and you're going to be stirring quite a bit, so don't worry too much about making the salmon chunks small.

PEAS Steam some peas. Fresh if you got 'em of course, or frozen will do. Get good quality frozen if you can tho, those big bright green smooth freshies flash frozen and tasting green. Steam and set your peas aside.

FRESH LEMON JUICE now that the sauce has cooled a bit. Squeeze in the juice from one large lemon per people eating. You don't want to add the juice while the sauce is cooking or even still too hot, because heating the juice too much changes it, and you want that fresh lemon flavor to pop. (this is why blackberry jam might work good as a sugar balance for this dish, because lemon and blackberry are a classic combination - usually for deserts and stuff, but i bet it would go great in this too)

SAUCE THE PASTA now stir the sauce into the pasta. Stir it up real good. If everything in the pot isn't getting close to room temperature yet, let it sit to cool more, stirring occasionally

FRESH DILL and SOUR CREAM at room temp add about two tablespoons of sour cream per portion, but before you do this, taste for salt. If you taste the sauce and pasta together and it isn't just a tiny bit too salty , you'll need more salt, and this is where to add it, on top of the sour cream before you mix. If the pasta in sauce pre-sour-cream has the perfect amount of salt, the sour cream is going to tank the salt profile, so you'll need a little bit here to prevent that happening. If the pasta and sauce together are already just a little on the salty side, then don't add any to the sour cream here) Before you mix in the sour cream, add a bunch of fresh chopped dill - about a cupped palm full per portion. Now mix it real good

SERVE. It is good cold or at room temp (and pretty decent warm too) with a small, cold sour cream dollop and fresh dill garnish, and maybe a light sprinkle of fresh lemon juice as part of the garnish too.

Awesome warm weather dish, great for spring/summer

[madhatterbri]

Terms and Conditions | M.J.

Summary: Your landlord suggests an alternative way to get you bumped up on the waiting list for apartment repairs.

Happy Wednesday Night Dynamite, babes. ❤️

Matt Jackson Masterlist

AEW Masterlist

Taglist: @smallestsnarkestgirl @magicalbuttertarts @bullet-clubs-bitch @cowboywritersworld @letsgivethisonemoreshot

Life sometimes throws a curveball at you. One second, you are living the high life, and the next, you are in an apartment that would be the perfect backdrop for the First 48. Paint chipped from the walls, trash all over the grounds, and enough stray cats to star in a musical. The inside wasn't much better.

Cracked tiles, a leaking ceiling, and a symphony of the sound of rats crawling around on your ceiling was your home sweet home. You tried your best to ignore these things, just happy to be able to afford a place to live. The final straw came when the water heater broke.

"Still no water heater?" You asked loudly while walking out the door. Arms crossed over your chest as you tried to control yourself. Blowing up on him would not do any good. You leaned against your door frame to stand your ground.

You immediately sent an email to your landlord, Matt. The email was probably deleted immediately. Next, you sent him a text. The message was seen, and he didn't reply. Any time you tried to see him in his office, his brother, Nick, stopped you.

After a few days of cold, miserable showers, you had enough. You heard him walking down your hallway one Friday night. The arrogant man was bragging about his building like it wasn't an example to have you will and testament set in order.

"I have no water heater. My uncle is a lawyer with this kind of stuff. There are laws to protect us and -"

Matt rolled his eyes and his neck. His arm rested against the wall with his feet crossed. "Oh, where you trying to reach me?"

"You know I was. I have emailed you, texted you, and left messages to your brother."

"I apologize for Nick. He was a premie," Matt apologized. You were starting to lose more of your cool.

"Call him," he told you, calling your bluff. Your mouth dropped slightly. Matt pushed himself from the wall and walked towards you. The smell of his cologne danced under your nose. "Or you can spend that time thinking of a reason for me to bump you up the waiting list."

Matt wore dark sunglasses despite being inside, but you could feel his brown eyes look you up and down. You knew exactly what he wanted. Your teeth grazed your bottom lip. Sleeping with your landlord to get working appliances. Is this really what your life has come to? There had to be another way.

"Wh- what reason?" You asked.

Matt grinned. "Something that'll make me think of you long after I go back to my office."

With little options and against your better judgment, you took a step back to let him in.

[karikitdemonrp]

Kari looked up at Inuyasha, doing her best to read his features. She could tell how serious he was as he spoke. It helped her calm down a bit, even if a part of her was stubbornly clinging to the idea that this was all fake or that this wouldn't last. It felt good to have something, even if it was for a little bit. She let out a tiny giggle when the half demon ruffled her hair and sighed. "I..." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Inuyasha." She muttered softly, moving to hold his hand on her head briefly, finding comfort in the touch. Though she did eventually move her hand so he could get his hand off her muddy head.

"You think I'm smart?" She asked with a tiny snort. "Nah, I'm not really that smart. But, uh, thanks for the compliment." She muttered, feeling more comfortable with the half demon. "And... I guess you're right about that though, I've been through hell." Her eyes narrowed a bit as her mind drifted to past memories.

Of a time when things were okay for her. Not as hectic, not as lonely. "Though, I wasn't always alone." She muttered, her body relaxing as she began to let her guard down for a moment. "There was this old man who took care of me, he was really goofy and didn't really lie to me. I don't think so anyway. He said he found me on his door step with my scarf and some clothes and other stuff. One thing being a note with my full name and birthday. But no other information." Kari muttered. "He was nice, helping me fall asleep when I had nightmares, even fixing up Tsuki when she got ripped or something. He'd bandage me when I was hurt. But he didn't know anything about my parents. And he tried for a long time to find them. I remember him hobbling back and forth down the streets and to city hall and whatever to find any information. But there wasn't anything he could find."

The child's gaze drifted off of Inuyasha as she went on. "He even had a framed outfit with a lotus on it. It looked like the orphans outfits in the village, but older and a bit worn. I kinda connected the dots that way." Kari gave a bitter sweet chuckle and sighed. "But... A few weeks before I turned four, I was heading home from some errands and... There was an ambulance in front of our home. He didn't make it. Think he had a heart attack or something while I was gone. But... Being with you and Kagome and Shippo I'm not feeling as lonely. It kinda reminds me of back then, having someone to laugh with and play with and all. But... It's also scary." The child shivered slightly. "Cuz I can lose that again. And I don't wanna get attached to someone only to lose them in the end. So It kinda got easy to just... Not get to know anyone."

She looked back at Inuyasha and realized what just happened, she panicked a bit and her hair bristled. "Ah, I didn't mean to say all that! I just got caught up in the moment! That might've been too much, d-don't tell anyone please!" She muttered, her symbols flickering ever so slightly but no abilities activated thankfully, but her scent and aura did shift a bit so an ability was trying to activate. "I-- I just... I mean... I've been feeling kinda happy like I use to and all but not exactly the same and well..." Kari puffed out her cheeks a bit, trying to find the right words. "I... What in trying to say is... Thank you for... helping me I guess. I haven't felt like this in a long time." She muttered after a moment.

Inuyasha let out a low breath through his nose—part laugh, part sigh—as Kari’s tiny voice broke the quiet. Her question was so soft, so full of disbelief, it made something twist in his chest. He leaned back just a bit so he could see her face—not enough to break the hug, just enough so she’d see the seriousness in his eyes.

“Tch… Of course we do, runt.”

He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, even though his tone stayed gentle. His amber eyes locked with hers, firm and steady.

“You’re not a bother. Not to me, not to Kagome, not to Shippo. We wouldn’t be stickin’ around if you were. You think I’d chase after just anybody who ran off crying and try to talk ‘em down with all this mushy stuff?” he snorted, clearly trying to lighten the mood even if he meant every word.

“You got a funny way of thinkin’ for someone so smart.” He ruffled her muddy hair lightly, giving her a crooked grin. “You’ve been through hell and you still got a good heart under all that fear and confusion. That’s worth more than you know.”

[aquaveee]

Ok ok so I know some of us at this point headcanon Jay to be a smoker as her own way of rebelling against her family while also trying to relieve her own stress, however, I would like to add some of my own headcanons to this (especially after the Jay Ferin smoking fanart skye posted).

(Also would like to clarify that I'm not trying to romanticise smoking in any way, it's not good for you and you should not try it. Also not trying to shame anyone who does smoke, I understand it's a hard addiction to overcome and it's a stress reliever for many.)

Her first time smoking was with Chip on Joaldo Island after the argument with Lizzie. He was hoping for a chance to make fun of her for the usual first-time-smoking coughing, but she didn't cough at all. Neither of them knew why it didn't have an effect on her until after the Block, when they both realised that the smoke probably wouldn't affect her cause her whole family line is constantly breathing in smoke from their own flames. So the Ferin family line just has like a natural adaptation to smoke going into their lungs.

Lizzie enjoys smoking with Jay. I like to imagine Ava probably smoked, but she would only do it when she was with Lizzie (because she felt more comfortable letting Liz see that not-so-perfect, more vulnerable side of her instead of her Navy crew). Ofc this also means that whenever Lizzie notices Jay slightly on edge or stressed, she says nothing and just comes with a pack and a lighter, and Jay would never refuse. It was one of the few times Jay could really enjoy the quiet atmosphere of the sea or market, and the few times Liz felt like her old self and not the fearsome Pirate Captain.

Jay only smokes when she's completely alone. For one she wouldn't want Ollie to inhale any of it and second, Gillion probably would have a very adverse reaction to it because he's gotta keep his lungs M O I S T . Even though Chip was around smokers most of his childhood (after the Black Rose Pirates) and he was the one who kinda introduced her to it in the first place, she would start avoiding smoking too much in their room below deck after he offhandedly mentioned something about Price always smelling like cigs. So the best times for her are when she's alone in their room working on her gun, in the kitchen with Earl, or when she takes the night shift with Alphonze.

It's kinda assumed that Gryffon is a smoker just from the fact that he was super ready to get high with Chip and Gil (and he's just chill like that). I bet when he saw Jay smoking one time, he offered his own cigarettes to her, which I also headcanon Gryffon to make his own cigs with special herbs in them and stuff he learned from his home village. It's also probably SUPER strong, so Jay only smokes one when she feels particularly stressed.

Speaking of herbssss. Jay probably has a lot of knowledge with that kind of stuff from her mom, so sometimes when she has the right ingredients, she'll make her own cigs with different properties. Like maybe some with lavender for calming (cough cough ep 109 cough).

[rav1377]

Sweet and Spicy

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x fem!reader

tw:SMUTTTT, dash of fluff, little aftercare, piv, rough stuff, spit, freaky Johnny, etc. (lmk if I missed any)

can be read in the But Sir! universe

it was oddly warm weather outside, all sticky and hot. everyone on base had been sweating like sinners in a church, windows open and fans blasting, acs pushed to their limit, some breaking under the stress. just hot and miserable. so when you’d gotten off work and changed into shorts and a old band shirt, you wanted something refreshing. something to get your mind off the heat. a nice drink sounded great.

the bar is thankfully cold and you sit at a booth in the corner, waltzing with a little cold drink in hand. more people trickle into the bar, volume increases slowly. two men that walk in you do recognize though. “Kyle! Johnny!” you call, waving at them over the crowd of people. Kyle’s eyes snap to you first, lips breaking into a smile. he yanks Johnny away from the bar and to where you sit. “bonnie!” Johnny growls, smiling. he’s shoving himself into the booth next to you, arm around your shoulder. he’s pressing a wet kiss to your cheek, Kyle slipping into the seat across from you two. he reaches across the table, pulling your chin to him to have his turn, closed lips pressing just next to your mouth before letting go. “what are you doing here?” Johnny asks, shoveling some pre-shelled peanuts into his mouth. “trying to cool off, it’s too hot to be doing anything else.” you say, putting your head on his shoulder. “I’ll go get us some drinks, Gaz.” he says, rising from beside you. Kyle nods, popping peanuts into his mouth, chewing one before the other.

Johnny’s back a few minutes later, three beers in hand. “got to drink real beer, ay hen? not that fruity stuff!” he laughs, plopping them down on the table. Kyle shakes his head. picking up your drink, you push it to him, offering him a sip. he takes a swallow, grinning. “aw that’s just tae sweet. guess it suits ye though.” he swaps it with a beer, placing it in front of you. you shake your head. “nuh-uh.” you say, crossing your arms. Kyle chuckles as Johnny spits his tongue out at you, reaching for a drink of his beer. Johnnys hand drifts, sitting on your leg, rubbing small circles. the conversation rises and falls, never wavering between the three of you. when you all finish your drinks, sitting in silence.

Kyles eyes trace down your face as you lean into Johnny. “i reckon we ought to get out of here.” he muses, leaning his chin on his hand. blushing, Johnny stands, pulling you out of the booth with him. “mm. we should.” Johnny agrees, offering you his arm. Kyle pays, leaving some cash on the table before falling into step behind you and Johnny. the door is opened and the sticky air hits you again. Johnny is practically dragging you to an unmarked car, pulling you onto his lap in the passenger seat, Kyle climbing in the drivers. “don’t worry, hen. the drive is not bad.” his accent purrs in your ear, and you grind down on him, feeling him harden beneath you. Kyle grins and pulls out of the parking lot. “behave.” he says, the drive beginning.

recognizing the drive, you perk up and away from Johnnys lips. “why are we going back to base?” you ask, facing Kyle. “where else would we go? we can’t all get nice apartments like you.” he teases. you look down, ashamed and embarrassed. should’ve kept your fat mouth shut. (don’t worry, they’ll put it to good use.) “dinnae worry hen, it’s just easier than rentin’ out one, even when we’re nae there.”Johnny assures you, petting your hair, pulling you to his mouth again. you’d never thought about it that way. your boys don’t really have a home to come back to, just each other and a cold base. something in your heart burns at that. the base looms in the windshield, and Kyle lowers his window to slip a pass to the gate guards. you bury your face into Johnnys neck, hoping they didn't recognize you. when you park in the lot, Johnnys tugging at your wrists again, desperate to get inside. “Johnny!” you cry, trying to slow down. “slow down!” you mewl, looking back at Kyle pleadingly. licking his lips, he grabs Johnnys bicep. “Soap.” he says firmly, removing your poor wrist from his grasp. you rub at it as Johnny looks at you, eyes now regretful and sad. “sorry hen.”Johnny just doesn’t know his own strength sometimes! you can forgive him, can’t you? you giggle, pushing him on his shoulders slightly. he leads you down a hall you’ve never been before, and you see why now. it’s the boys personal quarters. a sterile kitchenette is cramped with a small table, taking up most of the space. a couch looks at a tv mounted on the wall, blankets scattered on it. three doors are down a small hallway connected to the kitchen/living room. ones open, and you see a bathroom, all grays and whites. to the left, a door remains shut. but Johnny opens the one to the right. a queen bed is shoved into the left corner of the room, a twin into the right. dresses sit on the door wall, no doubt containing the boy’s clothes.

Johnny pulls you again, throwing you onto the bed. he’s desperate, pulling at the elastic waistband of your shorts, teasing your underwear down with them. Kyle’s sitting next to you, pushing your old shirt up to let your tits spill through. fingers pulling down your bra to allow his mouth run over each bud. you mewl, bucking into nothing. Johnnys neglecting you, busy eyes looking at your chest. “Johnny.” you whisper. his blue eyes snap to yours before nodding again. fingers trace down your torso and into your thighs before toying with your entrance. you’re not quite as ready as he’d like, so he puts his mouth to work instead, licking and pulling your release from you. you come like that, Johnnys tongue determined and rough on your clit while Kyle kisses and licks your chest delicately. Johnnys mouth vibrates on you when as you do, you begin twitching as he won’t stop. relentlessly attacking you, wanting to make you feel good again. Kyle’s patting your hair, shushing you as your hands find purchase in his chest. “my-ohmygodddd-Johnny!” you squeal, feeling yourself pushed over the edge, trembling.

Kyle on the other hand is the opposite, tending to your soft skin with gentle kisses and kind words. he leans over before shoving Johnny away from your cunt. he pulls your bottoms off all the way before leaning to see your face. “tell us what you want, use that pretty little mouth.” he says, nipping at the skin under your chin. “gah-wan’ want you and Johnny.” you gasp out as his fingers brush that sensitive skin under your breasts. Kyle grins, reaching down to pull his length out, spreading wetness over your with his tip. then he’s pushing in, and you mewl, back arching. Johnny watches on eagerly, squeezing himself to the sight of it all. Kyle bottoms out and he groans, waiting for you to adjust. “mm. move, Kyle, please?” you ask, hands on his hips. he’s so slow and gentle, opposite of what happened last time with him. cooing at you, brushing his hands up the sides of your stomach and hips with each stroke. your breath is ragged and low as you grip his forearms. Johnny whines a few feet away, hand shaking as he touches himself. Kyle looks back at him. “what? feeling neglected you mutt?” he turns back to you, not stopping his motions. “he don’t like not being the center of attention.” Johnny huffs. “nae. just don’t like ye being a hog.” he says, stepping forward so his chest is on Kyle’s back. the rough fiber of Johnnys shirt rubs on Kyle’s bare back as the scot nibbles at Kyle’s ear, hands coming up around his waist. “go on, give our hen what she wants.” he growls. Kyle’s eyes become lidded as they look into Johnnys. Kyle keeps his slow thrusts though, hands slowing on your body. Johnny pushes Kyle over so his chest is on yours and yanks his thigh to bend over yours. “ye don’t start doin’ it properly, and I will show ye how.” he bites out, lining up himself with Kyle’s puckered hole. the dark eyed man looks at you and gasps at Johnnys actions, picking up the speed of his hips, stuttering when Johnny bites the side of his neck, leaning in close. you and Johnnys faces are close now that Kyle’s face is buried in your neck. “oh-oh god.” he grinds out, trying to move faster under Johnnys weight. you mewl when Johnny leans away from Kyle and closer to you, pressing a heated kiss to your lips. Kyle groans as Johnnys length tries to push inside him.

“och-c’mon Kyle…”Johnny whispers. “i’ll make ye feel good if you make her feel good.” Kyle lets out a guttural noise when Johnny slips inside him more. then he pulls out suddenly before pushing your face to the side, cupping a hand by your mouth. “spit. help make Gaz here feel good.” Johnny orders. you obey, gathering drool in your mouth before letting it hit his hand. Johnny pulls back and coats himself in it, aided by precome. then he’s right back at it, pushing into Kyle. Kyle’s hands grip the shirt that’s rucked over your chest as his thrusts pick up. you gasp, feeling him touch that sweet sport in you. Johnnys got plans of his own, reaching a right hand to yank Kyle’s neck back for leverage, starting to plow into him. he groans before murmuring, “ngh-ye feel ‘mazing Kyle. ye gonna make her come, fill up that pretty cunt o’ hers?” Johnnys babbling, eyes falling closed against Kyle’s shoulder. the weight of two men squish you now, not letting you move. you wish you could though, the overstimulating movements from Kyle getting to be too much, coil winding in your lower stomach. Kyle’s close, the feeling of you wrapped and clenching around him combining with Johnnys length inside him getting to be too much. “yea.” Kyle says gruffly, hands drifting up to your face as he bucks into you. his mouth is all over you, and you grip his wrists as he kisses you. “thankyouKyle please need you inside me, c’mon.”you murmur against his lips. panting, his hips pick up, hitting that spot in you every time. Johnnys making Kyle feel good too and it’s only a couple more strokes before Kyle’s spilling into you, groaning. his limp against you, body touching every inch of you. you gasp as you feel his release coating you. Johnnys still moving inside of Kyle, causing the man to still move in you with every thrust.

“too much Kyle?”Johnny howls with laughter, pulling out of Kyle. the scot pulls Kyle out of you by his waist, pressing a kiss to the man’s temple. Kyle smirks, stupid grin on his face as he curls into your side, nuzzling your cheek with kisses. his left hand creeps down to your clit as Johnny pumps himself, lining up. he’s being mean, pushing in with only his tip. you keen, trying to get more of him in you. “Johnny….”you whine. “alright alright.” he growls out, pushing in roughly, all the way down to his base. you twitch in Kyle’s arms. Johnnys brutal, not relenting when you plead for him to slow down. “nae, none of that, bonnie.” he says, gripping your shoulder. “take it bunny, you can take it.” Kyle whispers in your ear, sucking bruises into your neck. you moan, head falling back as it becomes too much. “ahm close bonnie, so close.” Johnny gasps out. “slowdownslowdownjohnnyplease.” you beg, but he doesn’t listen. it’s too much for you, and Kyle’s fingers aren’t helping. Johnny continues still. “cmon bonnie, you can do it, cmon come on me.” he says roughly. Kyle’s fingers push you over the edge and you’re releasing all over him, trying to get away. Johnnys still pressed firmly into you as he fills you up with a low moan. he collapses on you, panting. he pulls out finally, release dripping out of you.

the three of you stay like that for a while, you’re stuck between the two men. Kyle’s hand rubs gentle circles on your waist while Johnny grinds into your ass slowly, petting your thigh that’s slung over Kyle’s hip. “i should go home…it’s late.” you murmur, tracing Kyle’s jawline. “mm. no. you can stay.” he whispers, kisses ur nose. “but civilians aren’t supposed to stay on base…” you say, trying to wiggle out. Johnnys hand keeps you planted though. “nae. yer staying bonnie.” he murmurs, face against the back of your neck. the bed is comfortable. they are warm. the blanket is soft. your eyes begin to flutter shut and you drift off. Kyle watches you and smiles. “reckon we tuckered her right out.” he says, looking at Johnny. “reckon we did.” he replies back. Kyle grabs Johnny by the mohawk, pulling him over your body to kiss him. Johnny hisses softly but relents, and presses rough kisses against Kyle’s soft ones. Johnny retracts, laying his head on your shoulder while Kyle leans his to rest in your neck.

yeah, this is nice.

BONUS:

Simon wakes up in the middle of the night, looking for something to snack on. been a tough day and not a lot to eat. he scratches his hip, fridge open. Johnny made some soup the other day, his mums recipe. the large man pulls it out, pouring some into a bowl, popping it into the microwave. hm. he hasn’t seen Johnny since the official work hours ended. or Kyle. they said they were going out for a drink at the local pub though. Simon rubs his face, pulling out his bowl, before sitting his large frame in a chair, slowly eating the warm meal. they probably are in their barracks or in a jail after starting some dumb fight. he downs his bowl, belly full, and places it in the sink before walking to their door. he knocks first, softly saying their names. no answer. he pushes open the door only to see them curled up on Johnnys bed. with you in between them. Kyle’s shirtless and your band shirt and bra are tangled. Johnnys boxers and jeans are missing, but he still wears his shirt. Simon chuckles quietly. guess they did find something nice at the pub. he pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of the scene illuminated by moonlight. his boys will be fine, but you’ll be uncomfortable. he pads over and I clips your bra with ease, pulling it over your head easily thanks to the oversized tee shirt you wear. he’d rather you sleep shirtless than a bra pushed everywhere and holding everything but your pretty tits. he presses a kiss to your forehead, and pats Kyle’s thigh before leaving the room. he opens the door to his own barracks. Price is still where he left him, working by lamplight, filling out paperwork. “cap’n.” Simon says gruffly, turning off the light. John glares at him in the dark. “got work i need to do, Simon.” voice tired and annoyed. Simon scoffs and grabs John’s arm. surprisingly, the other man doesn’t resist, and climbs under the sheets. Simon sits on his own bed, pulling a tank top off his chest. John’s gazing at the ceiling before his eyebrows furrow. he turns to Simon. “where are the boys?”he asks. Simon smirks and unlocks his phone, showing the picture of the three of you circled up like kittens. John’s eyes soften and he grins. “‘ope they showed ‘er a good time.” he says sleepily before rolling over. Simon grunts in agreement and rolls off to sleep, satisfied.

[amethystfairy1]

In my head they’re all living happily ever after, and the hot cave has made a safe rift that Cub watches over because he told Scar he was a hybrid/mutant and Scar was like, “well that solves that issue! Hot cave it is!” (Let me live in hope)

When the rumbling started I thought Blackwell was LITERALLY drowning everybody from the undercuts out. Like shoving it with so much bedrock that they had no choice but to go to the surface where they’d get killed or arrested…… (I’m scared)

My theory is the breakup tag will probably be Zed and Tango, TRUST. Because I don’t think Jimmy is giving up his chance in the sky, Pearl doesn’t have anybody (unless you count her breaking up with the soup group, but if she stayed topside then she could atleast send messages down via the podcast), Grian isn’t going to stop being Cuteguy up top so he can’t go back now, and the only thing I can think of is Zed completely giving in and moving down with Tango because he’s done with the overcity’s bullshit, or tango maybe living in the hot cave as it’s the only place he actually KNOWS the location of up there? OR (worst of all), Etho has to do topside to collect a child, and gets stuck up there….but I’d LOVE to see that. Like maybe he’d just drop by one of their apartments (I feel like Jimmy’s would be closest for some random reason), and just be like “so……yeahhh….funny story..”

but anywayyyy, I LOVE YOUR WRITING OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Your like genuinely so good??? I found this fic right in the beginning, it was one of the first flower husbands fics in the series that I happened to stumble upon and went, “…..huh, gonna save THAT for later!” And put it in my read later spot. Everntually I got sound to reading it, but noticed it was like..12th in a story or whatever so I figured might as well go to the start for the full effect because it seemed cool, and FELL IN LOVE!

I finally caught up during etho and doc’s meeting fic (don’t remember when that was). So I think it’s a little ironic now that the director’s debut was my catching point. (Granted I have lost track for a bit since then bc it’s been TWO YEARS, you mad lad.)

And sorry if you mentioned it before, but what is your inspiration for this fic? Other than the obvious ofc (like HermitCraft, traffic series, Hotguy/cuteguy, etc). Because my boyfriend pointed out (as I was ranting to him, he’s somewhat in the Matt scene but hasn’t fully fallen into it head first unlike me for literal YEARS (I digress)), that the undercity over city concept is a lot like arcane with pullover and…the other city (don’t watch the show myself I’m remembering from something he said) so now I’m curious!

(Hopefully this was intelligible, woke up in the middle of the night and had the inescapable urge to ask)

Awwwh THANK YOU! I'm so glad you've enjoyed my writing and all my work on TTSBC! I can't answer a lot of this stuff :P Buuuuut it's gonna be so much FUN!

As for inspo, I actually did not watch Arcane until way after I started TTSBC. Honestly, I didn't really have any other strong inspiration for it other than the Hermits and Life series and Emperors themselves! I've always loved the 'someones got a big secret' kind of tropes, so I wanted to expand on that! And I've been playing around with the idea of a city in the depths beneath another city as a setting for a story for a long time, and so TTSBC just kind of happened! ^-^ I hope that makes sense! Thank you so much for your kind words!!!

[brummelliana]

Tbh it’s so refreshing seeing someone else who doesn’t idolise Linda McCartney because people get vexed if you don’t idolise her. I have a hot take,if you hate yoko Ono for “ruining the band/separating John from the band” keep that view for Linda aswell like they didn’t ruin the Beatles the Beatles did. Also I read somewhere how she would hate on Jane Asher and she made her cook book out of spite and made Paul cut off people connected to Jane Asher. (Sorry if i write rlly shit I failed English x)

Yes, thank you.

I never claimed to be special for having this opinion, like that other person claimed. I've been in online Beatle spaces since 2020, and I've genuinely hardly, if ever, seen anyone critizise her.

Maybe its because she's dead, or because of the way their relationship is portrayed now, or they genuinely like her, which is well within their right. I just wonder if it's a trend, because I've seen a lot more ship art and hype recently compared to previous years.

That is exactly why I wanted to say something, I feel like the only one who doesn't absolutely adore her, it'll make you feel insane. I believe its my blog, and I should be able to share my opinions without it coming off like a personal attack to someone who likes her.

Its true that she was very possesive over Paul.... buttt thats something I have trouble counting against her. It was Paul. If it were me I'd be borderline abusive with how hard I'd be possesive. Even if he was whipped it was no secret he was a whore for a literal decade.

Its paraphrased, but I remember they were gifted, or Jane's book made it into their house, and she got so mad. She threw it out.

I could be off on the details because of memory, but she was cold to who I think was Denny Laine's wife during the tour? Jojo (JOJO KIMI NO BOUKEN JOJO SONO CHINO SADAME JOOOJOOOOO) had history with Paul, so she did not fuck with her. She wasn't a girl's girl.

The funny thing is I read in a biography that between the two of them, she was the one with the wandering eye. Like girl, it doesn't get better than this, just stick with Paul.

The weed thing was also pretty out of hand. Like she put weed in her child's diaper to try and sneak it into Japan, and frequently would just drive the car of children while stoned.

When they were gifted a copy of "The Love You Make" the biography from the 70s, they burned the book in the backyard without reading it because they assumed it was slander. (Idk, I thought they were pretty fair to Paul in that).

But more than specific instances, its the whole attitude. That she didn't shave, or wore horse boots instead of high heels. She was down to earth and connected to nature instead of the other vapid rich girls she knew. I feel like that's more or a misogynistic viewpoint than anything I've said. That and the insistence that they were just an average standard income family just like you. (They weren't).

There was another instance where their housekeeper, Rose, was led to believe she was attending a day out at the zoo with the family. She got all dressed in her Sunday best, but when she came out to the car, it was her to say like "nooo! What are you doing??! You're not coming! I have work for you to do!!" so Rose spend the day sewing up holes in children's clothes instead. (Again, paraphrased from a biography). There's the argument to be made that yeah, Rose was the help, its her job to do that stuff. But idk, its still a bummer.

Really edgy for her to have a miniature horse in the city of London. I wonder who was cleaning the massive shits it took while she took it on walks. (actually, if anyone has a source that she was the one doing it, I'd respect that fr. Keep britain tidy).  A really good way to poke a hole in any argument I make is that Paul is involved in my critisms, or that Paul is literally worse.

All I can say is that I can no longer be rational or objective about Paul. Over the years I have grappled with all of his horrible traits and actions, and living like that is a net negative. It makes no difference in the world whether I let those thoughts consume me, or whether I am completely unserious and milk enjoyment from him all I can. He's a beautiful muse, silly, cheeky, and his music is okay sometimes too. (At least he's done things to stand on his own, you know. There's a reason he's famous). I think more people would be happier if they lived like me.

It annoys me when she's treated like a goddess and people make comments about Paul being useless and ugly and lesser than her.

This might be a contriversal thing to say also, not to woobify him, but I genuinely believe Paul was really impressionable and immature, and whoever was dating him had a certain amount of influence over his behavior. Not entirely, mind you, but a certain amount. He would act like the big male head of family, and believe himself to be, but deep down he needed a mommywife to tell him what to do. Girl power or whatever.

[holdinggrudges]

hi grudges!! how have u been <3 hope you're doing well. i have a scenario/question! how do you think sam being late bloomer reader's first kiss would play out? sending you love!

hii anon :D i am doing well, trying to drag myself kicking and screaming back into writing consistently (it's...slow going) bc i'm hoping to have something to put out for sam's birthday next week. anywayyss sorry it took me so long to get to this ask, but i actually really enjoyed it and wanted to do it justice bc i can absolutely 100% relate. late bloomers unite guys!! and i sort of never learned how to shut up (943 words under the cut by the way) so i'm gonna put a little keep reading cut here lol and this is also not proofread very well. so pls excuse any spelling mistakes thx :)

so first of all, the thing that i think is extremely important to understand about sam when it comes to this sort of thing: he's a romantic. maybe you're a hunter, too, maybe the two of you met in the middle of a case and decided to team up. or maybe, he met you on a hunt, the victim of whatever creepy crawly the brothers were taking care of this time. either way, the two of you have been flirting since the moment you met, just little hints and subtle comments, but obvious all the same. but you—you're just a little hesitant. nervous, like you're not quite sure how to go about it, like it's something you've only ever seen, never actually done. sam can tell; it's obvious in the sweetest way, and he's never been more endeared in such a short amount of time. it's almost exciting, reminds him of the grand, swooping romances he used to read, hidden so dean couldn't make fun of him for it. but it also means he really, really wants to do this right, to make it special for you.

he asks you out on a date. a real date, fancy dinner, fancy clothes (think provenance, the date with one sarah blake? yeah, he's going all out). he pulls out all the stops, gathers up all his spare cash, bullies dean into handing over the keys to the impala for the night. he shows up at your door—early, because on time is late—his arms laden with the prettiest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen. he carefully transfers them to your arms, smiling all the while until he finally says, "you look really beautiful."

you can feel your cheeks begin to heat, ducking your head on a soft, flustered little laugh. "these are really beautiful," you tell him, in maybe the most unsubtle deflection ever. and then you invite him inside, just for a second. just until you can find a vase to keep them in, because even if you'd said it just because you were flustered, the flowers really are gorgeous (although, you think you'd probably want to keep them even if they were the ugliest things you'd ever seen. sam had given them to you, after all). when you get to the car, sam opens your door for you.

the date goes very well, though you didn't expect any less. sam is, of course, overwhelmingly sweet and charming, but you already knew that. you know what he does, whether you're a hunter as well or not, so he tells a few stories (nothing heavy. just...the funny stuff. the mostly not scary, makes him seem really brave stuff. he really, really doesn't want to scare you off), and you tell a few of your own. he asks a lot of questions, and it's clear that he's really listening, obvious that he genuinely wants to get to know you. and he answers the questions you ask him, though he's maybe not quite as good at the answering as the asking. but he's trying. and when the two of you walk out of the restaurant together, you feel really good. more than good, you feel hopeful. you like him, a lot. and it seems to you, at least, that he really likes you too.

he walks you to your door, and it's so, so cheesy, but you hesitate at the top of the steps. it's just that you don't really want to say goodbye. maybe you've been on dates before, but certainly none as good as this one. none that made butterflies swarm your stomach, none that made your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. but when you open that door, the night's over. and you're not sure you're ready for that, not yet.

sam notices. of course he does; he's scarily perceptive. and he's not really ready for the night to be over either. so he takes a step forward, just barely crowding into your space, and he tucks a finger under your chin, tilts your face up just a touch. and then he leans down until his face is millimeters away from yours, until you can feel his breath on your lips when he mutters, "is this okay?"

you don't really trust your voice right now, sure that it will give away your nerves and your excitement and your longing. even the hummed little, "mmhmm," that you let out instead is high pitched and nervous. sam's hand is cool against your heated cheek when he cups your face in his hand.

"good," he breathes, before finally pressing his lips to yours. the kiss echoes through you in a cascade of sparks and fluttering butterflies, and your eyes shut almost instinctually, before you can even remember that's what you're supposed to do. his lips are soft against yours, his hand solid and grounding against your cheek, and it's perfect. it's everything you ever dreamed it would be.

the kiss isn't chaste, not really, but it's something close to it. like sam wants to take this slow, even as you lean forward to chase his touch as he pulls away. when you flutter your eyes open, you see him smiling at you. his thumb brushes your cheekbone. "i'll see you later?"

almost dazed, you nod, staring after him as he waves and makes his way back down the steps, towards the car. "yeah. see you...later."

your lips buzz with the memory all night, until you wake up to a message from sam the next morning. 'so how soon can i see you again?'

as your stomach flips and flutters, you get the feeling you're going to become well acquainted with those butterflies pretty soon.