#and I basically had to spend the next two months bedridden

[msvorderofoperations]

And another one to rebagle this for the people that are awake at a reasonable hour, and to round out what I woke up to this morning.

I dreamed I was part of a group of people that were dealing with various supernatural threats to the world. Most were the products of a mad scientist trying to take over the world, but also weirdness that just popped up in the wild like bubbles of time travel and such. The thing with this organization however, was that we were not operating with a huge budget nor oversight. We were basically a group of guerilla fighters that had enough first hand experience to document, undermine and halt a lot of what came up.

This is highlighted by some rando talking about how great it must be to be fighting the good fight. And everyone present (and there were a lot of us, because the aforementioned mad scientist was back on his bullshit) outlined exactly the width, breadth, and depth how much this work fucking sucked. One talked about having to live through the depression, the dustbowl and the second world war in a matter of months because of time fuckery. Another talked of having to stop Kaiju sized threats using scavenged weaponry. And another talked about having to march barefoot across the American Midwest for an entire winter because of a mind-controlling creature. And all we were given for our hard work once a threat was dealt with was a couple days off and some hot food, and then we were put back to work.

It turns out however that the last story there is relevant, the mad scientist is trying it again. We notice this as people of a small town that had been very adamant that we leave suddenly stops caring and walking in unison outside the city limits. The people of our group are immune because the last time this happened, the small vaguely fox-shaped creature had realized that our organization was working to undo all this had attempted to kill us. And by directly threatening us, it broke whatever compulsion it had over us. And while the obsession it cultivated was a powerful one, it was fairly simple as well. All you felt was a deep admiration and desire to follow it at a distance. You still had the ability to tend to (most) of your needs.

But our new-found immunity looked like an unexpected win fall, as we could now head off this problem weeks if not months sooner than the last time it showed up. So we set to work on getting it dealt with. The last time we had to deal with this thing, it was quite clear that in making it have such a strong emotionally magnetic quality, it had no augmented physical strength or durability to draw on. Thinking that this was the same as last time, we quickly scrounge some weaponry (a CO2 powered pellet gun) and get ready to take it down. Since the thing has human level intelligence and could (theoretically at least) set the crowd following in the distance against us, we still want to utilize the element of surprise. One person takes aim from a distance, and another waits close by to take advantage of if/when it gets stunned. The shot is taken, and the person in hiding leaps out and stomps the hell out of it. But instead of leaving a broken, dying body as it did last time, the body explodes into dust.

This is definitely weird, but not an immediate cause for alarm. Maybe it's just a different process for how the thing is made this time around? As we're discussing what this could possibly be indicative of, the difference is made readily apparent. The dust is holographic (meaning that each particle contains the whole of the creature) and so it sets about rebuilding itself many times over, by incorporating mass it absorbs from the surrounding dirt. But instead of just making the same little fox creature, it instead becomes a bunch of bear sized worms, like the Dune sandworms or the creatures from Tremors. And before we can try and capture/kill any of them, they bury themselves and disappear.

Knowing this is beyond the capabilities of what we have currently, we go back to the headquarters of our organization to inform everyone and try to come with a strategy to deal with them. Once we return and regroup, the idea is floated that if we trap it and send it to the bottom of the ocean, the pressure might be able to contain/destroy it. Failing that, it would have to deal with other creatures that we know for a fact are down there which would not take kindly to other monsters horning in on their terrain. This seems like a reasonable end goal, but now the question is how to get there.

And of course, because it's my subconscious it couldn't just have me experience an interesting narrative, it also had to throw in some real-world shit to fuck with me. One of my cousins is part of this organization, and at one point the head of our outfit forgets that he was with us. To make up for this, my cousin is gifted some extremely rare and expensive whisky. I point out that it was recently my birthday, and that no one did anything for me. Crickets.

And then I wake up. Sigh.

Just got woken up a couple hours after going to bed by a weird and very specifically intense nightmare.

It was another one of those "I am somehow still enrolled in school" dreams. But where it's usually about me finding out that at my current age and have missed out on decades of schooling, I was still a kid of indeterminate age in this dream. It so happens that it's just before the end of the school year, and one teacher is teaching a class that I need the credit for to graduate. I only have a single class left, and I have missed enough classes that missing the last one might mean that I fail. The weirdest part about this was it felt like it was pre-school, rather than college, high school, or even elementary school.

I find out through an online document of the last assignment, that instead of going to class the final session is to be a "field trip" to this teacher's home. I go to my parents with how unorthodox and weird this is, but they just brush me off. They insist that if something is amiss, I should just take it to the teacher. I then (rightly!) point out that if the problem is with the teacher themselves, nothing about that is safe or useful. And then I even confront my mom about how in all her years of working at a public school (she worked as a lunchtime supervisor and bus attendant for decades) she must have had to come across a bad actor of a teacher. She then assumes the tone and mannerisms of when she has been caught in an obvious lie, and just ends all conversation on the matter.

I then make a decision to just miss the class and risk failing rather than expose myself to harm. I double check that the online assignment is complete so that I can still theoretically pass even if I don't show up to this final class. I then noticed that the teacher herself has put in a part of the answer now, and is doing so in the form of rhyming couplets that have the same meter and scansion of "Johnny I hardly knew ya". Additionally, the answer she has put in is weirdly personal. Upon reading this, I go to show this to my parents to outline the teacher's deranged behaviour, and I suddenly see that she is typing out in real time "[My real name], danger, danger."

At this point I forced myself awake, because I absolutely did not want to know how the dream was going to handle this psychotic teacher being loose in my home, which was very much the implication I got from where the events of the dream had been going.

[mortimer-writes-sometimes]

Can I request something where sans keeps making excuses to keep Grillby talking? And when confronted, he admits that he just likes hearing Grillby’s voice? 👉👈

Haha, so this was going to just be silly fluff, I swear, but...  Look I swear it all works out and it’s really cute in the end. I hope you enjoy!

Talk to Me

Word count: 3323 Summary: Sans wants to hear from his boyfriend more, but he goes about it the wrong way.

“Hello Sans, this is Grillby. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re alright. It’s been two days since I’ve seen you at the bar… I asked Dogamy and Dogeressa if they’d seen you and they both said they haven’t. Are you ill? If you are, I could bring something for you and Papyrus, or- ah, well, I’ve been talking long enough. Forgive my rambling. Just send me a message to let me know you’re alright? I hope to see you soon.”

Sans let the voicemail play as he laid in bed, relaxing a bit. It had been months since Grillby left that message. Sans had some kind of flu and was bedridden for a week. As soon as Grillby heard, he came over with canned soup, cold packs, and audiobooks, giving Papyrus a break to rest and ensuring that both of the skeletons were well cared for. The audiobooks had been nice, but they’d been nothing compared to Grillby���s voicemail. When Sans heard it, it occurred to him that he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Grillby talk for that long in one go. The even rhythm of his voice was remarkably soothing. Sans had fallen asleep to that insignificant message more than once.

The skeleton felt a bit silly. He and Grillby were dating now. He had more than enough opportunity to talk to him. Something still felt off though. Even when they were outside the bar, Grillby was always a one-or-two sentences kind of guy. He never told any stories, he didn’t ramble on about his favorite subjects, and he never vented in length about his day. And then there was that phrase. “Forgive my rambling,” Sans muttered to himself, frowning. He’d heard that twice since he’d started dating Grillby, and something about it didn’t sit right with him. Speaking about dates with Grillby…

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Sans’s watch went off and he shot up. Shoot, he was late! Grillby had the evening off and they had agreed to meet up at the bar before going to MTT Resort for dinner. Grillbz made a reservation and everything! Sans hurriedly put on a black tuxedo-print shirt and then threw his freshly-washed jacket on top. That was about as close to fancy as Sans got.

Grabbing his phone, the skeleton took a shortcut to Grillby’s, where the bartender himself was waiting outside. Damn, he made Sans feel underdressed. Grillby had a black suit jacket on over his navy blue dress shirt, and it looked like he might have even ironed his usual bowtie for this. He was looking at his watch, making Sans feel a pang of guilt. This was what, the fourth time in a row he’d been late for a date?

Grillby didn’t seem to mind it. He glanced up and caught sight of Sans, smiling a bit. “I see you’re all dressed up,” he chuckled. “You look nice.”

“Not as nice as you, hot stuff.” Sans grinned, holding out a hand for Grillby. “Ready to go?”

Grillby nodded and took his hand. “Ready.”

Dating Start!

One moment, they were in Snowdin. The next, they were at MTT Resort, barely in time for their reservation. Sans had done a few comedy gigs at MTT before, so it wasn’t like it was a new place to him, but somehow going there with Grillby made it feel different. The lighting felt softer, the music seemed gentler, and when the two of them sat at their table, the smile Grillby gave Sans made the skeleton feel like he was dreaming. For the first time, MTT Resort Restaurant felt romantic.

“What are you thinking about?” Grillby asked, breaking Sans’s train of thought.

Sans chuckled. “You,” he responded honestly. “You make the whole room light up wherever you go.”

Grillby arched an eyebrow. “Well, I am made of fire.”

“Oh my god, you know what I meant,” Sans managed through his laughter. As he calmed, he gave the bartender a soft smile. “This is nice. I’ve been here a thousand times, but it’s different when it’s with you. A good different. You make everything better.”

Grillby blushed, smiling. “Sans… that was the sappiest thing I have ever heard.”

Sans grinned at his teasing. “Aww, you know you love me.”

“I do.” Grillby rested his arm on the table, opening his hand to Sans. The skeleton took him up on his offer and mimicked the gesture, holding Grillby’s hand on top of the table. Grillby ran his thumb over Sans’s knuckles, thoughtful as he looked at their joined hands.

Usually, from there, Sans would start the conversation back up with an onslaught of puns or start talking about his day. The skeleton’s thoughts drifted back to that voicemail. ‘Forgive me for rambling.’ Their talks were always pretty one-sided, huh? It didn’t seem to bother Grillby at all, but it bothered Sans. He wanted to hear his boyfriend ramble. He wanted to know what was going on inside the fire monster’s head. And, if he was being honest with himself, he just wanted to take a moment to bask in Grillby’s even baritone voice.

“What are you thinking about?” Sans asked.

Grillby hadn’t expected that question, looking up. “Us,” he answered simply, smiling a bit.

That wasn’t a satisfying answer! Sans pressed a little more. “What about us?”

“About the time we spend together.” Grillby met Sans’s gaze, eyes full of tenderness and beautiful firelight. “I have never felt greater happiness than I do by your side.”

Man, how did he manage to sound so romantic in so few words? Sans flustered, dramatically fanning his face. “I’m swooning. And you said I’m a sap? If I’m a sap,” he joked, “Then you’re the whole maple.”

Grillby chuckled. “So tonight’s joke theme is going to be trees, I take it?”

“You better be-leaf it.” Sans winked at him. “Hey, why do trees make the worst frienemies?” He waited for a beat, then said, “Because they’re the best at throwing shade!”

Sans sometimes wondered if Grillby would have laughed at that joke if it came from someone other than him. Whether or not he would, he was laughing now, and Sans wanted it to go on forever. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Grillby regained his composure and let go of Sans’s hand, picking up a menu. “While I hate to interrupt the pleasant-trees, we should figure out what we want to eat.”

“Heh, good one,” Sans mumbled with a smile as he picked up his menu. Aha! This could be the perfect opportunity! “You know,” he began, “I’ve been here for gigs, but I’ve never actually eaten here. All these fancy dishes sound super complicated. Can you explain some of this stuff to me?” Grillby was passionate about cooking, so surely he would have a few words on the matter. More than a few, hopefully.

Grillby glanced up over the top of his menu. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Uhh…” Good question! Sans hadn’t really thought about it. “I dunno. I’ll figure it out as we go?”

Grillby nodded and looked back down at the menu. “Alright.” He considered the dishes on the menu for a long moment. “What about the swiss steak? It’s a tenderized steak cooked in a pan with onions and tomato sauce. It appears in the recipe they use here they also add mushrooms. I can’t be sure, but as far as spices go I would guess- well. I’ve already explained the basics. Forgive me for rambling.”

“No no, you’re good! I…” Sans wanted to groan. Oh, come on! For a moment there, the skeleton had been able to get completely lost in Grillby’s voice, taking in every word. “I, um, I think that sounds good, but I want to hear about some other stuff first.” He scanned the menu, picking a random dish. “What’s, uh… beef stroganoff?”

Grillby tilted his head, locating the name on the menu with interest. “Oh, that’s another good dish. Stroganoff is made with small pieces of a marbled cut of steak, ideally sirloin or ribeye. The sauce is made with…” Grillby trailed off and adjusted his glasses. “Well, it’s a white sauce. It’s usually served over noodles.”

So. Freaking. Close! “Yeah, great,” Sans mumbled, looking for another food that might get the bartender talking. He’d seemed excited to share for a minute there, so why did he stop? It was so frustrating! “What about… how do you say this one? Cock-ow-vien?”

“Coq au Vin,” Grillby corrected gently. “It’s a chicken dish. The chicken is slow-baked with vegetables in a wine sauce.” He stopped there instead of going on as he had before. Darn. Operation Have-Grillby-Explain-The-Entire-Menu was a bust.

Sans ended up going with the ‘Coq au Vin’, mispronouncing it on purpose when he ordered so Grillby would give him that fond look of exasperation he loved so much. The skeleton chuckled and played innocent, shrugging. “What’s with that expression? I said it eggs-actly how you did!”

Grillby just rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder why I ever chose to date a comedi-hen,” the bartender sighed, smiling a bit at Sans’s resulting snicker. “So how was your day?”

Sans shrugged. “Eh, pretty much the usual. Papyrus tried out that waffle recipe you gave him today. It was… interesting.” Usually, he would elaborate, but he had something else on his mind. Time for Plan B: Make Grillby the center of attention! “Hey, you used to live around here, didn’t you?” Sans asked, abruptly changing the topic. “What was that like? As a kid?” If there was one thing any monster could go on about, it was childhood memories. Right?

Apparently not. “It wasn’t significantly different from living in Snowdin,” Grillby answered simply, eyeing the water the waiter had brought him as if it were going to jump out of the glass. “Just warmer.”

And… that was it. That was all Grillby had to say about it. If anything, the bartender seemed to be talking even less than usual. Sans was starting to get a little frustrated. “I’m sure it was different. More monsters, the construction of the Core… C’mon, Grillbz, don’t be shy about it. What was it like?”

“Noisy.” Grillby pushed the glass of water a bit further from himself. “That’s part of why I moved to Snowdin.”

Sans picked up the distracting glass and threw it over his shoulder. “Well then tell me why else you moved to Snowdin. Lava to snow seems like a pretty big shift just to get away from the noise.”

Grillby was caught a little bit off-guard, glancing over Sans’s shoulder before meeting his eyes again. “W-well, I’m an adult. It’s natural that I would leave home at some point, haha…”

“Yeah, but don’t fire monster families usually stick close together?” Sans asked.

“That’s correct.” Grillby adjusted his glasses, gaze falling to the table. “But I chose to open a business in Snowdin.”

Well, now they were just going around in circles. It seemed no matter what Sans asked or what buttons he pushed, Grillby was going to give him short, distant answers. The skeleton was beyond frustrated. Was it so much for him to ask to hear his boyfriend talk for more than a few seconds at a time?! He sighed inwardly as an oblivious waiter came by with their food, setting it on the table and cheerily asking if they needed anything else before walking off. The food looked nice, but the conversation tonight was… well, kind of nonexistent.

An awkward silence settled over the table as the two monsters looked at their plates. Unsurprisingly, Sans ended up being the one who had to break the silence. “So… Looks good. Why don’t you eat some and tell me what you think?”

Grillby wordlessly picked up his fork, taking a bite of the steak he’d opted for. He noticed he was still being watched and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I-it’s good,” he mumbled. Did Sans realize his eyes had darkened? Was everything okay? The fire monster was starting to feel like he was being interrogated.

“Yeah? Care to elaborate on that?” Sans knew he was being pushy, but he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to hear Grillby talk. He wanted to see him let down his guard and ramble for once. Just once, he wanted to be the one listening instead of the one doing all the talking. Was that too much to ask?

Yes. Yes, it was.

Grillby suddenly stood up, keeping his gaze on the wall, the floor, anywhere but Sans. “Excuse me,” he mumbled, “I need to step outside for a moment.” 

Sans sat up straight, finally snapping out of his thoughts long enough to pay attention to his boyfriend’s body language. Grillby was on the defensive, tension evident in each flame of his body. Before Sans could say anything to stop him, the fire monster had rushed off, walking past him and exiting the building. Well, shit.

“What the hell just happened?” Sans mumbled to himself, going over the events of the evening in his head. Yeah, maybe he’d been a bit pushy with Grillby, but it wasn’t worth getting that upset over, right?

“What was it like?”

“Noisy.”

“Don’t fire monster families usually stick close together?”

“That’s correct.”

“Ah, well, I’ve been talking long enough. Forgive my rambling.”

“Forgive me for rambling.”

...Grillby’s been talking plenty, Sans realized, eye sockets widening. He’s been telling me he’s uncomfortable all evening. I just wasn’t listening.

Grillby sat against the wall outside of MTT Resort, sighing as he took off his glasses and hung his head. He felt so embarrassed. He just couldn’t figure out what he had been doing wrong, and if Sans had kept questioning him he was sure he was going to cry or yell or- or something unpleasant. It had been weird when Sans started asking about the menu as if he couldn’t read, but Sans was weird like that sometimes. It went from weird to uncomfortable when the skeleton started asking personal questions, practically demanding answers. The bartender wanted to answer them. It wasn’t fair that Grillby knew so much about Sans’s personal life and Sans knew so little of Grillby’s, but…

...well. The fire monster had his reasons for not talking about it on what was supposed to be a romantic date.

People talked to people. Grillby knew this. His patrons at the bar were always making small talk and rambling and telling their stories, and that was a good thing. That was how people got to know others and become friends. On more than one occasion, he’d find himself listening to a conversation and thinking of just the story to tell or just the comment to add.

On more than one occasion, he felt a hand on the back of his neck, shoving him down and reminding him that children were seen and not heard. Even as an adult, that inclination to only say what needed to be said and to say it as concisely as possible stayed stubbornly in the back of his throat, choking any stray chatter that might make trouble for him.

People talked to people. Grillby knew this.

It was just… hard, sometimes.

“Takeout for Gr- Grail-bee? Is there a Grail-bee here?”

Grillby put his glasses back on, looking up. Sans stood over him with a plastic takeout bag, the skeleton looking sheepish as he offered a smile. “Hey there, firefly. You okay?”

“I’m alright,” Grillby mumbled, moving to get up. Sans stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, sitting next to the fire monster instead. Grillby relaxed back against the wall, looking at the bag and immediately feeling guilty. “I’m sorry. I-” Grillby’s voice cracked and he took a deep breath, choking back the tears he’d been trying to avoid in the restaurant. “I ruined dinner, didn’t I?”

“No, no, Grillbz,” Sans quickly reassured, turning towards Grillby and putting a hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t ruin anything. C’mon, don’t cry- come here, it’s okay, I’m sorry.” He pulled Grillby into a hug, rubbing his back. “Shh, I’m sorry. I made you real uncomfy back there, and that’s on me. I should’ve been paying more attention.”

Grillby wrapped his arms around Sans, taking deep breaths. “Sans,” he finally mumbled, “I understand that you are curious about me and my background, but why were you so… insistent, tonight?”

“Weeellll…” Sans rubbed the back of his neck. “I honestly didn’t care about the question itself so much as I… wanted to get you to… ramble? You know, it sounds really dumb out loud, heheh…”

Grillby took a moment to process that, pulling away after a moment. “You wanted me to ramble?”

Sans chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I mean, I… I-i like the sound of your voice? It’s, um, calming.”

“It’s calming,” Grillby echoed, dumbfounded. All of that stress, just so Sans could listen to him talk for a few minutes.

Sans braced himself for the worst as Grillby lapsed into silence once again. He was going to be pissed, wasn’t he? “Look, I really am sorry, Grillbz. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just-”

Sans was cut off by a quiet snort of laughter. Grillby was… chuckling? Not just chuckling, he was laughing. He started to laugh and then couldn’t stop, resting his head on Sans’s shoulder as the fire of his hair danced with mirth. Needless to say, the skeleton was very confused. “So… Am I missing the punchline here or something?”

Grillby sat up, smiling at Sans with that fond, exasperated look again. “Sans, you numbskull… Why didn’t you just ask me to read you a book?”

Oh. Oh yeah. That probably would’ve been the easiest way to do it. 

Sans groaned and put a hand to his skull, sending Grillby into another fit of laughter at the skeleton’s expense. Sans figured he deserved it, after all the pressure he’d put on Grillby that evening. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I’m guessing this means you forgive me?”

Grillby calmed down, smiling at Sans before planting a kiss on the top of his skull. “Yes,” he said softly, “I forgive you, bonehead.”

“Cool,” Sans chuckled. “Sooooo… If I were to ask you to take me home with you and read to me…”

“The answer would be yes,” Grillby said with a small smile, standing up and offering Sans a hand. “I’ll even let you pick the book. But first, you have to go for a walk with me. We can take a shortcut once we reach Waterfall, not a moment sooner.”

Sans took Grillby’s hand and stood, opting to hold his hand as they walked instead of letting go. “Wow, that’s sweet, Grillbz. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a crush on me.”

Grillby rolled his eyes fondly. “Good thing we both know better.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence, walking side-by-side through Hotland. Grillby looked around himself as they did, smiling softly. Usually, Sans would be the one to break the silence, if it needed to be broken. Well, it had already been a fairly unusual evening, hadn’t it?

“I used to walk to school down this road,” Grillby suddenly commented, smiling fondly at the memory. “My brother Cole always walked with me, just in case something happened. Of course, the only time something did happen, he was at home sick and I was walking to school alone.”

“Oh?” Sans looked up at him, smiling brightly. Was he dreaming? Or was this really happening? “What happened?”

“Well,” Grillby began, “They had just started construction on a new steam puzzle nearby…”

Another day, Sans would sit down with Grillby and ask him why he moved to Snowdin. Another day, Grillby would be ready to tell him everything. For that evening, though, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was which book Sans would choose and how many pages Grillby could get through before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Thanks for reading! If you like this, consider reblogging/leaving a comment telling me your favorite part! If you want to send me a prompt, my ask box is open! I hope you liked this!

[patashoo]

Hey everyone ! Long time no see lol

I’m pretty sure no one is paying attention to this page anymore, but this year has been chaotic for me and i suddenly wanted, at 5:30 in the morning from my ipad, to vent and ramble a little.

So last october i had a minor incident that led me to the hospital, where they found had i had something not so minor xD They found out I have a fairly rare autoimune disease. Basically, I have a severe anemia and iron deficiency because my stomach is fucked. As a result I spent three weeks unable to move or eat, I would faint whenever I’d go out. Then I spent one week in the hospital, and another bedridden. I lost about 25kg in four weeks ! Now I’ll have a lifelong treatment with injections and iron transfusions each months. What makes me sad is that it screw up my studies and I failed uni. Between the appointments with several doctors and the chronique fatigue (if i do something one day like go out, my body needs the next two days to recover ). its been hard to juggle with everything. Add to that some harsh betrayal and colossal heart break, loneliness and major depression and I’m currrenrly surviving more than I’m living lol I still try to draw but it’s been complicated. I’m trying to spend less time on social media, and lately I’m mainly active on my personal Instagram account Parsifon. Follow me if you’d like ! 😁

Anyway I’m sorry for the long text, tldr life’s been tough for me lately but I’m trying my best. Love and kisses, and see yOu soon ! 🌟

[wilhelmfink]

09.01.21. - 12:36am

Hi.

I don’t even know if anyone I used to know still uses this website or sees my violently infrequent posts, but tumblr has always been my safe space - especially in my lowest points.

Last time I was here, I was bedridden, sobbing nonstop for days on end, dragging my feet to the T to get to classes that I ended up dropping out of, and drowning my thoughts out with Crybaby. I let myself feel everything because I knew that was how I would get through it. 

Now. I am stuck in a state of disbelief, betrayal, confusion, loss. Once again, a boy promised me forever. Except this time, he gave me a Tiffany ring to prove it, not even two years into our relationship. He moved states to be with me. Uprooted his life, left his family and friends, to be with me, because he said we were forever. Opposites attract, but we could make anything work. We were alike in all the ways that mattered.

Secretly, I was always afraid that one day he’d remember his midwestern, suburban roots - the ones I buried - and he’d want to leave. Which is something I swore I’d never do for a man. 

Four years later. This summer was tough, after I got the job and started making money. At some point I got the ick. It seemed as my life was falling into place, his came to a standstill. He was working insane hours at the gym, to no avail, because his company pays their employees like shit. Knowing that it would never really get better, he made no concrete moves to move on. He went through the same lackluster phases of applying for jobs as I did, which looking back on, of course I understand. It’s extremely overwhelming, especially to someone with ADHD, and it’s easier to say “I’m fine where I am, I’m getting by, I’ll just do this later when I really need to.” When your job is mentally and physically draining to the point where you can’t properly take care of yourself outside of it, where on earth are you supposed to muster the energy to write cover letters and apply to jobs?

However, I’ve been through it before, and I broke out of it. I took steps to better myself and dive back into my passions, and that’s when everything started coming together. I assumed that with my experience, I could help him. But he wasn’t listening, wasn’t letting me, and all the while without my knowledge, he was spiraling.

I had the ick because he wasn’t doing anything to help himself despite my best efforts to help him. I guess I wasn’t as attracted to him because he lacked overall drive, which he eventually picked up on. It was disappointing seeing everyone else in our lives get their shit together, to watch his life continue on as it had for the past three years - like he was fresh out of college, always broke, and barely getting by. After my career began, it just wasn’t the same. My patience started to wear thin, and I was being rude. I have a problem in general with being mean to people I’m extremely comfortable with, which is bad. I lack a filter, always have. It got progressively worse with him, though, which I knew, and would try to work on, but then he would piss me off or disappoint me again. All of his interests annoyed me. I loved him, but I rarely liked him.

Then I went away for a week and was able to clear my head. I had the chance to miss him for the first time in years. I came back ready to start again, eager to look for apartments together and finally move on to the next step of our relationship.

If it wasn’t obvious, the day I came back he aired out all of his concerns about our compatibility, his distaste for New York, and his worsening depression, and it honestly caught me by surprise. I thought I was the only one experiencing and burying doubts. However, after our first honest conversation in months, I jumped to creating an action plan - what can we actively change going forward to support each other and ourselves more? I am not one to give up. The only reason I never brought anything up earlier is because I assumed it was all because of a bad PMS cycle and I wasn’t in my right mind, which was partially true.

But the bottom line is, I never would have given up. Because that’s not what you do when you promise someone forever.

However, he did.

Sunday was a perfect day in virtually every way. I felt clean, excited, refreshed, in love. When Monday came, he arrived home from work sick to his stomach with the guilt of having such a wonderful day previously, and basically ended it. I wasn’t aware that’s when we “broke up”, but that’s what he told our roommate that night - after I requested that nothing be final until we had a night apart to think.

One night turned into two. A night he was supposed to spend with his friends he ended up sleeping at his female coworker’s apartment without telling me. Without even thinking about telling me. If I hadn’t had his location, I probably still wouldn’t know. I was nauseous for a week straight. Honestly, I’m still nauseous. Especially because I don’t know if I can trust him about what’s happened, when no one else in my life seems to.

Above all, I didn’t think we were officially broken up until we were moved out of the apartment we live in together. Dating a libra is fun because they never want to have the hard conversation or give it to you straight. They live a double life, feeding you little lies to keep you happy and worry-free, while they do god knows what behind your back.

This was always a problem when it came to smoking. But now that it applies to potentially cheating (would he even consider it cheating? I certainly would, considering the words “it’s over” were never said and we were happily together less than 12 hours earlier), I have been a wreck.

I just never thought this would happen to us. I escaped back to Virginia to get away from all the traces of him, which is difficult when your entire lives are intertwined. His name is always on the tip of my tongue. When I’m alone, he’s the first person I want to call. When I’m scrolling through twitter, he’s the first person I want to show all the funny tweets to. And that’s the worst part of it, is losing your best friend. That one person who is always there for you no matter what.

I’m numb and nauseous over the fact that the thing we built for over four years could change so quickly overnight. That it could be so mindlessly disrespected in a matter of hours, minutes even. I genuinely don’t know what to think or what to do with myself, because the person I’ve been so in love with has completely disappeared. The body he used to be in is still walking around somewhere in New York, but everything is different and it’s killing me.

I might not be a sobbing pile of bones this time around, but it feels so much worse. The stakes are higher. The years were longer. Our love was so strong and felt so everlasting, up until a week ago. I can’t approach this time as open-armed as the last, because I have a job and bigger responsibilities now. If I think about it as heavily as I did last time, I would be permanently sick - or, worse than I already am.

I am just so sad and empty right now. I am grateful for my friends and family that have surrounded me, but boy... everything hurts all the time. I can’t even put this whole situation into words. But this was a start, and you know I’ll be back.

[lucystark12]

yes ofc i was hoping you would ask

- fourthofjulygate, the most iconic is when my dad cheated on my mom with my best friend’s mom and we found out the night before fourth of july when both of our families were on vacation together. i haven’t seen my best friend since and this was almost two years ago 😝

-pinterestgate is when i found out that one of my best friends made up a fake boyfriend using pinterest photos. i found this out backtracking the pictures

-marblegate and urlgate are basically sisters because they both come from the time i accidentally narced my tumblr account to my friend because he saw lucystark12 in the url and then he threatened to leak my tumblr to everybody i knew if i didn’t give him a marble

-voterfraudgate: the same guy this morning accused my dad and i of voter fraud

-oscarwinningdirectorgate is when i sent my writing to an oscar winning director and he read it and liked it and now i might have an internship lined up with him on his next movie

-spaingate is when i studied abroad in spain for a month at the beginning of last summer and everybody there was from new york and treated me like i was a freak because i wasn’t, then i got food poisoning and was bedridden for days and when i recovered i was iced out by all of the new yorkers and had to spend the last five days of the trip alone

- broadwaygate is the time i met aaron tveit one night and then jeremy jordan the very next- i wasnt like stagedooring i just met them both in random places in new york city

- anneboleynsghostgate is when my dad and i were walking around the tower of london and he made a joke about anne boleyn’s ghost possessing us and then his hat was blown off of his head fifty feet into the river by a huge gust of wind that only us felt, the stair i was standing on broke, and a bird pooped on my dad’s head. a few days later via ancestry test results we found out that we’re direct ancestors of henry viii and a mistress he had that he was suspected to be in an affair with while married to anne boleyn

- alarmgate was when i was the only family member who wasn’t being visited by the ghosts of our dead grandparents and i was pissed about it so i thought “grandma if you’re there send me a sign” and then the house alarm went off without anybody touching anything

-lunaticgate is a really really weird peter parker x reader fic i read as a joke when i had covid a year ago and was literally delirious. nothing crazy happened it was just a really really weird fic

- youareinlovegate is when i went to the eras tour which oddly enough was on my birthday in the city closest to mine with a football stadium and i prayed and begged for her to play you are in love as a surprise song because i had dubbed it a sign if she played it that a guy liked me back and then not only did she play you are in love but she played our song

- yalegate is when my mom knocked on a secret society’s door when we visited the yale campus even though youre strictly not supposed to do that and then we were followed by a guy who was filming us for like two hours and we got home to all of our security cameras smashed

- cremationgate is when we were spreading my grandma’s ashes off the side of a boat and the ashes flew back in my mom, my cousin, and my face

- babymonitorgate is my family’s first brush with the paranormal when my aunt went to a psychic and she told her to look in the baby monitor at 10:32 that night and at 10:32 that night there was like a weird flash thingy (no idea how to explain it you’d just have to see it) across the screen of the monitor

- reneerappgate is when my best friend and i did a theatre camp with her before she was famous (a weird fun fact not so much a gate)

-spidermangate’s lore is so ridiculously deep i genuinely don’t think i can explain it on here but it’s the weirdest string of coincidences of all time that spans like three years

official list of lucy gates because it’s gotten to be too much

- fourthofjulygate

- pinterestgate

- marblegate

- voterfraudgate

- oscarwinningdirectorgate

- spaingate

- broadwaygate

- anneboleynsghostgate

- alarmgate

- urlgate

- lunaticgate

- youareinlovegate

- yalegate

- cremationgate

- babymonitorgate

- reneerappgate

- spidermangate

[mishinsisa]

A traveler's learning - A princess' wish

(AlMei fic)

Summary.- Alphonse Elric decides to start his own life and materialize his projects: traveling east and study alkahestry. He takes two friends in order to help them recover their original forms and, along the way, gets to know the seventeenth princess of Xing better. During Alphonse's learning process and while Mei takes on projects in support of her clan, they get to understand each other and their bond strengthens.

*This is the first thing I write about FMA since I got into the fandom recently. English is not my first language and I hadn't written any fiction in English, so please, if you see any mistakes, do not hesitate to let me know so I can correct them.*

First chapter length: 3,825 words

Total length: 13,780 words

Genre: Friendship / Family / Romance (at the very end)

Links to AO3 and Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

1

 Determination

 He had to reconsider his plans of departing soon to the East on the advice of his family and acquaintances: his brother and surrogate grandmother were worried about him exposing to such a strenuous journey through the desert. The chances of survival and successful completion for healthy people were already low, let alone for a boy whose body had suffered years of starvation and consequently severe health issues. The princess, his friend, despite showing excitement for his intended visit to her country and a willingness to work with him, stated that he would have to study the language beforehand, at least to a basic level. A vast majority of Xingese did not speak Amestrian at all, and traditional teachers were not patient nor gentle with foreigners.

 There was no chance to see friends off. Due to the critical condition their bodies were in, all the brothers got was a brief and restricted visit by the far eastern group. An interchange of addresses—attempting to ignore the fact that they might not see nor contact each other again—, words of gratitude and encouragement, and that was it. The Elrics and the people who fought that day would spend a while under close medical care.

 Alphonse’s process was, by far, the longest and most difficult of all. He learned when the Armstrongs, the Colonel, the Lieutenant, the chimeras, and everybody involved was discharged. Even his father, who, once healthy, showed intentions to stay with his sons. However, Hohenheim understood, from Edward’s attitude, that his continuous presence with them would not be wise nor comfortable.

 It was Edward the one who never left Alphonse’s side. Even when he himself was severely injured, he insisted on being with his younger brother to make sure of his progress. It was not only his guilt of the failed transmutation and bringing his young body to that pitiful state, but also the uncertainty of his survival given that severe emaciation.

 Bedridden, stuck to a liquid diet, barely able to turn over and subject to multiple injections a day, not only the youngest Elric was restrained in a body he and his brother had been searching for years. He was also prey to baffling nightmares, hallucinations, abrupt losses of consciousness, and difficulty in remembering things that happened during the journeys with his brother. During these lapses, Edward would sit on the edge of the bed and hold his hand in an attempt to make Alphonse feel safe and supported. Even being such a reckless youngster, the older brother knew when to cheer the younger one, and when it was best to stay quiet and hold him.

 It was the memory of those endless months of convalescence that made Edward worry about his brother’s decision to go to the east as soon as possible. He understood his urge to travel and live as many experiences as he could, since the former state alchemist had already decided to study in the West. However, communications between Amestris and the East were still limited, and the connection projects were still drafts. Führer Grumman and the Crown Prince, on behalf of the Emperor of Xing due to his frail state, had just opened a trade route through Aerugo and the south sea. It was the beginning of a promise to a profitable exchange between Amestris and the eastern country.

Determined to prepare himself for his journey, Alphonse took into account Mei’s words and chose to start learning Xingese. In East City, the closest urban area to his hometown, he found little linguistic and instructional material that could help him. He didn’t feel like going all the way to Central, so he had some books delivered to the Rockbell house by some renowned bookstores.

 Once the brothers felt ready, Alphonse would be the first one to depart. Deep down, he trusted his absence would give his older brother the space and courage to acknowledge his feelings and talk about them with the girl they grew up with.

 ~

 ―You sure you don’t wanna wait for an eastern railway line to be ready? I’ve heard it’s in the Führer’s agenda.―Pinako told him with a concerned tone.

 Alphonse smiled reassuringly.

 ―We don’t know if that will start tomorrow, next month or next year. What if they start building it in ten years? I’m not going to wait that long.

 ―You just make sure to call home whenever you get the chance, okay?―his brother said, smiling―There’s got to be a phone in each station. So let us know about all of your layovers, huh?

 ―Ed, he’s going to spend too much money on phone calls.―Winry talked back and then immediately addressed to Alphonse―You just call us once a day so we get to know you’re okay. Don’t forget to write as soon as you get to Xing, understand?

 The first announcement of the train to Aerugo echoed in the station.

 Pinako wished him the best of luck and reminded him that he could get back home whenever he wanted to.

 Winry took a package wrapped in cloth out of a basket and gave it to him.

 ―When you get hungry during the trip…

 The boy gasped out of joy when he noticed the smell of apple pie.

 ―You didn’t have to! Thanks a bunch!

 ―I can’t believe you will cross the sea! I want you to tell me what is it like!

 He smiled at her and nodded.

 Then, his brother came closer to him.

 ―You just take care, okay? Don’t get in trouble.

 ―You’re not coming with me, so most likely I won’t get into bigger trouble than the ones you got me in.

 Edward scoffed.

 They bumped fists. Then, they bumped elbows and patted each other’s shoulder as Alphonse turned around to walk towards the platform.

 The Rockbells and the older brother waved him goodbye when they spotted him in his seat. He waved back at them, smiling. Soon after the train started moving, Winry and Pinako got tired and lowered their arms. Edward, however, not only waved even harder, but ran along the platform so as not to lose sight of Alphonse, until the train outran him and went away.

 ~

 He met with Jerso and Zampano at the South City station. From there, they headed together to the southernmost city of Amestris connected by train and took a tram to the checkpoint. The Amestrian police and soldiers checked their passports and jackets, acting somehow lenient after noticing the Elric surname in the documents. In the Aerugonian side, however, they got thoroughly searched and questioned. Their ID photos were constantly checked to confirm if they were the persons they claimed to be; they even had to take their shoes off and open their luggage. The process, which seemed endless for the young alchemist and former militaries, ended up with the confiscation of personal items such as straight razors, nail clippers, a lighter and a hip flask. Alphonse’s medication was almost confiscated, too, but he showed his prescription and bargained speaking a mixture of Amestrian and very broken Aerugonian.

 The first train they took, in a noisy and narrow station, was full of people with work attires and uniforms; people carrying heavy packaged goods, cases full of documents, lunch boxes. Some of them avoided interaction by reading the newspaper; some others simply slept with the newspaper on their face to block the light. The boy, however tired, kept looking out the window, curious to find out if the countryside in Aerugo would look different from the countryside in which he grew up.

 Hours later in the train, the former militaries couldn’t help but chuckle about Alphonse’s look. He fell asleep with his face leaning next to the window. His jaw was wide open, part of his hair was upright and entangled, and his left leg was extended to the front, almost in the personal space of his companions. Zampano tapped the tip of the boy’s foot with his own foot in a subtle attempt to wake him up when he noticed a middle-aged woman selling snacks, approaching. Not that the food or service were that good at the train, but he and his friend were hungry, and they supposed the young one would need something to eat.

 ―Hey… hey, Al…

 A sharp move of the train made his head bump into the wall and woke him up.

 ―You okay, buddy? You want something?―Zampano asked him in an amused tone.

 Alphonse yawned covering his mouth, unable to talk immediately, while Jerso took some money out of his pocket and bought snacks for the three of them.

 ―I can’t believe it’s already afternoon. Did we pass by any landmarks?―The boy asked.

 ―I woke up an hour ago.―Jerso answered, shrugging and chewing.

 ―I’ve been sleeping and waking up every now and then. Only sheep, cows and plantations out that window. You didn’t miss anything.

 Alphonse smiled. Deep down, he disagreed with Zampano’s answer: he was in a whole new place for him and was willing to see the slightest detail of it, specially since he was just passing through that country and didn’t know if he would be there again.

 At night, the train stopped in what seemed to be a textile town. Given the hour and their tiredness, all they did was look for an inn to have dinner and rest.

 Alphonse went to an old phone, one of the only three that were near the front desk area. He took some coins and dialed long distance.

 ―Rockbell Automail.

 ―Granny, it’s me.

 ―Al, thank goodness. Where are you now?

 The young Elric attempted to ask the name of the town with his limited language skills, but he didn’t understand the answer he got, no matter how many times the clerk repeated.

 ―I… I’m still north of Aerugo. I just had dinner. How’s my brother and Winry?

 ―He’s upstairs, reading.

 ―Hey!―A distant voice and quick steps were heard through the phone.

 ―Here he comes. Hold on.

 ―Yo! How’s everything going?

 ―It’s all right. I’ve been sitting all day long.

 ―You in Aerugo? Is it hot? You’re gonna get all tanned and all. Careful with the ladies.―Edward teased his brother, trying to conceal the fact that he already missed him.

 ―It’s humid, yeah.―The young one smiled―So, when are you going to talk to Winry?

 ―Uh…

 Edward seemed to be about to give an explanation, but he remained silent. Alphonse was not surprised.

 ―Listen, I gotta go now. I need to sleep. We’re taking the next train first thing in the morning. Take care.

 The next morning they woke up a little later than agreed and barely had time to get prepared. They ran to the station and, panting, abruptly stopped behind the platform line. Less than a minute later, the train doors opened. It was still dark, but the next train would depart three hours later, and Alphonse was not willing to delay his itinerary.

 Luckily, there were very few people in that train given the hour and route. The train car they were in was practically empty; it was just the three of them, so the Amestrians were free to be at ease. After a light breakfast and a nap to recover the lost sleep, they played cards. The game finished gradually with the hours of the morning and they ended up chatting and laughing, telling stories and their plans on the East.

 They spent the whole day crossing Aerugo and, as they headed south, Alphonse wrote in a travelogue details of what he saw. Not only did he enjoy rural and natural landscapes, but as the train went through big cities and the capital, he was delighted by the architecture, urban transportation, and the people’s disposition. Aerugonians seemed to be much more open and talkative than Amestrians: most houses decorated with flowering plants and painted in bright colors, unlike in his country.

 After spending the night in a city 400 miles away from the coast and boarding a last train the next morning, the three Amestrians arrived in an important port where they had some time to spare before their ship’s departure. They had a taste of Aerugonian seafood and bought medicine and personal care items, since their razors were taken in the north border and they didn’t want to look unkempt on arrival in Xing.

 Once on board the ship and upon leaving his stuff in the cabin, Alphonse rushed to the top deck and, amazed, walked to the railing and stood there. The wind in his hair and clothes, eyes narrowed by the daylight and mouth wide open, he stared delighted the vastness before him, sky and sea, which he thought of as two realms only separated by the line where the shades of blue diverged.

 During the early afternoon, once in open sea, Zampano and Jerso chatted and enjoyed the sunlight while the boy, feet away from them, looked down the hull and noticed a large school of flying fish, fluttering. Alphonse leaned over the railing to take a better look of them and the deep waters he was navigating. Later on, in the distance, he spotted dolphins. Pelicans and seagulls flew above the ship and, following their path with his eyes, he turned around and looked back at the point from which it sailed, now vanished in the horizon. A tear crossed his cheekbone. That innocence and sense of wonder reminded his travel companions of their own children, moving them.

 ~

 The Xingese harbor where they set foot in land for the first time in days was a bustle of vessels, rickshaws and loud talk that, in addition to their seasickness, left the three Amestrians dazed and indisposed to walk long distances. The midday light worsened their discomfort, and Alphonse had to call to mind his self-taught language lessons and look for a way to get to the train station. Needless to say that three considerably tall, unusual-looking, tired foreigners would be easy prey to cunning drivers.

 They got on the cab that charged them the less among the other options presented to them as a swarm. Still, in front of the station, the driver charged them more than agreed, claiming the routes he had to take in order to get them fast and the weight of three big men and their suitcases. Alphonse’s shortness of vocabulary and Jerso and Zampano’s total ignorance of the language led to an unintelligible quarrel in overlapped Amestrian and Xingese. The altercation drew the attention of bystanders and ended up with the foreigners paying reluctantly the final demanded amount. Jerso was about to spit his chimeric saliva to the driver but was stopped by Alphonse.

 ~

 The route to the capital of Xing took them through places that not only enthralled the already curious alchemist, but also delighted the grown men with him. The stunning look of lightning in the distance in the southern area near the desert, they had never seen that kind of thunderstorms. Numerous rice terraces extending in sequences that seemed infinite; rivers reflecting surrounding peaks covered in green; a thick emerald forest where the silence seemed sacred; hills that seemed painted with watercolors in various shades of yellow, red and green; plantation fields; busy towns. Bluish, gray mountains imposing as they approached the capital city.

 Never in his life had the boy seen so many people concentrated in one place. When Alphonse and his travel companions arrived at the main station they were easily stepped on and bumped into by the passers-by, not without a curious peek. Not every day did they see people with those Amestrians’ physical traits and clothing. Besides, they looked unkempt, since they hadn’t had the chance to shave since their last morning in the Aerugonian ship.

 The place was so big they got easily lost amid the swarm of people and the overwhelming amount of hallways, waiting areas and sigs they didn’t understand. They decided it would be better to go first to the restrooms, which were in an upper floor. The young one remembered reading once in his books that performing personal care activities in public, such as combing or shaving, was seen as very bad taste in Xing, so they went very quickly.

 Once done, walking down the wide stairs along with many other users, Alphonse felt weak due to a drop in his blood pressure. The changes in altitude and the eating habits he had been leading during such a long trip affected his health, and he fainted. People near him stepped aside, most of them continuing on their way. Zampano and Jerso ran to their friend, turning him over to see if he was awake or injured.

 —Al! Hey, Al!—Jerso shouted, gently slapping the boy’s face.

 Alphonse’s head had hit the edge of a stair, causing him a laceration on his forehead and a black eye. Zampano held him and softly shook him.

 —He’s passed out, go get help.—He told Jerso.

 —They won’t understand a word, lemme just…

 —Go get help! We don’t know if he still has any condition.

 —I don’t know how to! I better go get water to splash his face and wash that blood.

 Three security guards came running, alerted by one witness of Alphonse’s fall down the stairs. Their first impression was that of an innocent looking youngster waking up disoriented and bleeding, surrounded by two threatening-looking men with untidy stubble, one of then shaking him on the floor and patting his coat, the other one carrying his suitcase. Yelling, one of the guards asked something none of the Amestrians understood. He and the second guard proceeded to detain Jerso and Zampano, while the third guard helped Alphonse stand up and walk.

 ~

 —Sir, are you here against your will?—The sheriff asked slowly and clear so that the young Amestrian could understand.—Were you kidnapped? Kidnap?

 —Again, I was not abducted. I came here because I want.

 His accent was strong, but he talked clear and was confident of his language use in that situation. Alphonse tried to explain time after time that he was in Xing willingly and that those two men were his friends, but none of the officers seemed to believe. The wound on his forehead had been washed and covered and he had been offered an ice pack for his eye. His companions were held in a cell.

 The sheriff opened the boy’s passport. He frowned a little, glanced at the Amestrian, and skimmed the document again. That surname may have been distant news once, but he was not sure.

 —Do you want to go back home? Call anyone?

 —Yes. I want to call the Seventeenth Royal Princess of Xing, Mei.

 The sheriff and the officers in the room looked at each other in incredulity. Some of them grinned and sneered. They talked mockingly among them at fast pace and the sheriff tried to impose order.

 —Sonny, home? You don’t want to go home? Or do you need a lawyer?

 Alphonse felt like the man was treating him like a stupid.

 —Sir, I know my rights. I can resort to the help I need. And the help I choose is Her Highness, Princess Mei.

 Silence in the room, skeptic faces.

 —I met her, the Crown Prince Ling Yao and his bodyguards Lan Fan and the late Fu in Amestris. I’m Alphonse Elric, and I came here to study Alkahestry, science she masters.

 One of the officers talked in a condescending tone and the sheriff mumbled, frustrated. He took the phone and dialed. Once he got an answer, he adopted a formal tone and, among the particulars, he mentioned the name Alphonse Elric, mispronouncing it. Minutes of silence. The conversation seemed to resume briefly, and the man hung up. His countenance seemed uncomfortable and wary. He had a secretary bring the Amestrian a cup of tea and offered him a forced smile. The officers in the room were in expectation. Minutes later, the sheriff called again.

 —I am sorry for keeping you waiting, Mr. Elric.—The man in charge of the situation addressed the young Amestrian after hanging up—I contacted the relevant palace office and they talked to one of the Princess’ assistants. She will be here in about two hours. In the meantime, the nurse will take care of you.

 Alphonse smiled and sighed with relief.

 —What about my friends?

 —That’s for the Princess to decide.

 —They are hungry and tired by now.

 The sheriff acted as if he hadn’t heard that and handed Alphonse his passport back, then called the nurse and asked her to take the young man with her.

 ~

 The distant fuss in the building woke him up from his shallow slumber. The bed was narrow and hard, but he was so tired and unwell that he surrendered to the cherished rest by the nurse’s command. She saw him awake and made a gesture, indicating that he should get out of bed. The door was opened. The nurse bowed down and, with a glance, warned that he ought to do the same.

 He saw her: a shining maiden, ravishing, small in build, taller than the last time they talked, her little panda on her shoulder. Dressed in a light blue cheongsam, her hair tied in two buns with braids, she seemed to personify the morning sky. The princess stared at him, first in disbelief; then, after asking him and the nurse to stop bowing and scrutinizing his face, she recognized him and gasped.

 —Sir Alphonse!—She took four steps forward in a reflex of greeting him like in the old days, but remembered the presence of her palace assistants and the officers and stopped suddenly, bowing slightly—I mean, Mr. Elric! Are you all right?

 —I am! Don’t worry, it was just a fall!

 —I have to apologize for being so late. I was addressing issues when we received your call. After that, I had to get everything prepared for you and your friends. Where are they?

 —Arrested, I’m afraid.

 —Oh! Let’s hurry, then. I’ll explain later, but I wanted to make sure you’re well received and comfortable, specially after this unfortunate misunderstanding.

 An officer released Zampano and Jerso. When they were greeted by Mei, the man forced them to a bow, and escorted them out when she headed to the exit.

  —It feels weird. Such a tiny girl we met in Amestris, now a fancy princess.

 —Yes, man, she’s royal family and all, remember?

 The former militaries mumbled astonished once out of the police station, away from the group. Alphonse joined them then.

 —Don’t be surprised. She’s in her country, she must follow a protocol. All we can do is adapt ourselves.

 —Gentlemen!—The princess called them loudly, waving to draw their attention.

 She invited them to get on the limousine with her. Once their luggage was in place and they got on the back seats, Mei asked the chauffeur to drive to the place where the Amestrians would stay.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Outside the Rain - Harry Styles Series (Part 20)

Part 19

You groaned as you threw the remote to the opposite side of the bed. Being bedridden for over two weeks meant that you’ve practically seen every single thing on Netflix, you wanted, and now trying to find anything to watch was a struggle. You tried reading, but you couldn’t focus. Your Mom was still taking care of you and it was nice, but she was getting to be annoying. 

The swelling in your knee had gone down, but it still hurt like a bitch. Your surgery was scheduled for the end of the week and while you couldn’t wait for it, you were also super nervous. The near future of your career as well as the girls, depended on the outcome of this injury. A decision had still yet to be made about the upcoming tour, but you knew it most likely wasn’t looking good. 

You just hoped everyone was okay with postponing it by a few months. You hated that this happened, you hated that you would be the reason to halt this comeback, but you knew if the doctor said you couldn’t tour, your manager was not going to let you tour. You hadn’t really spoken with the girls much other than a few texts here and there.

You weren’t sure if that was them keeping their distance because they’re upset or if they were just trying to give you space to heal and rest. Either way, it still hurt you. Another issue that was going on was there was something off with you and Harry. Ever since that last night with him, he’s been acting distracted. Phone calls were kept short and sweet, texts were the same way. 

You knew he was probably worried and he felt bad about not being there to help take care of you, but you could tell there was something else going on just by the tone in his voice. You had no clue what it could be or if it was something you said or did. And sitting there with no distractions, only having your thoughts, was not the best. 

“Hey, honey,” your mom smiled walking into the bedroom. “I brought you some soup and a sandwich.” 

“Thanks,” you sighed sitting up on the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked placing it on the table next to your bed. 

“I’ve been better,” you sighed. 

“I know you’re over this laying in bed thing, but just a few more days, maybe another week and then you’ll be able to move a little more,” she said. 

You nodded and started nibbling on your sandwich. 

“Have you spoken to Harry recently?” She asked. “Do you know if he’s coming for the surgery?” 

“Um, I think so,” you said. “At least, I hope so. I sent him the information.” 

“Is everything okay there?” She asked. “I mean, it just seems like you two aren’t really speaking to each other much?” 

“Oh, we’re fine,” you said. “He’s just busy and then letting me rest. That’s all.” 

She gives you the look of unsureness, but doesn’t question you any further. You force a smile trying to stay optimistic about it. If your own mother could sense something was up with your relationship, then there probably was something going on. 

**

Harry was having his sister over for dinner, while he was in London. Not only did he want to see her and spend time with her, he also had something he wanted to talk to her about. He knew he was probably overreacting and he definitely was making it worse by acting the way he was towards you. He kept telling himself you wouldn’t notice because you were probably sleeping or binge watching Netflix, but deep down he knew that you were wondering what was going on. 

It was halfway through dinner when Harry finally decided to bring it up. 

“Gem, I need some advice,” he sighed. 

“So, that’s the real reason you cooked dinner,” she joked. 

“Ha, ha,” he rolled his eyes. “But seriously, I need... advice from a girl’s perspective.” 

“And naturally you thought of me,” she raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, I wasn’t going to call Mum,” he said. 

“Good point,” she said. “But why didn’t you just ask your girlfriend?” 

“Because it’s about her,” he sighed. 

“Okay,” she said. “What do you need?” 

“Why would a girl keep a photo of her ex boyfriend in a clothing drawer with no other pictures?” Harry asked. 

“Huh, I was not expecting that,” she said. “I mean, there could be lots of reasons. Maybe it’s been there since they were together and she just forgot about it. Or maybe she just wanted to keep the picture because it was from a good memory? Or- honestly I don’t know. Why did you snoop through her things and find one?” 

“First of all, I wasn’t snooping,” he said. “I was getting her some joggers to wear after she hurt her knee and I found a photo of her with her ex in the same drawer. I know it’s probably nothing... but I couldn’t help but feel like maybe it was something. If this guy broke her heart as much as she said he did, why would she want anything like that... and why hide it away in a drawer unless she didn’t want anyone else to find it.” 

“Well, did you ask her about it?” Gemma asked. 

Harry looked down at his plate of food, “No.” 

“Harry Edward Styles,” she groaned. “You’ve got to be bloody kidding me! When did this happen? Like two-three weeks ago? And you haven’t brought it up to her? You are such a dumbass sometimes.” 

“Gee thanks, feeling the love here Gem,” he said. “Part of why I didn’t bring it up is because I didn’t want to like upset her potentially when she’s already dealing with all this.” 

“At least that’s what you’re telling yourself,” she said. “You and I both know it’s because you’re afraid of what the answer might be on why she still has it. You’re worried that she still has feelings for him or did have feelings for him recently, etc, etc.” 

He doesn’t answer, which basically confirms her theory. 

“Look, the only way you’re going to feel better about this is if you talk to your girlfriend about it,” she said. “And you should also prepare yourself for getting an answer that you might not like... but I mean, do you honestly believe that she still has feelings for him?” 

“No, I don’t,” he sighed. “I know she loves me and wants to be with me... but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t also love him, too.” 

“Can you not throw yourself a pity party just yet and wait until after you talk to her?” She sighed. “You’re going for her surgery right?” 

“Of course, I wouldn’t not be there,” he said. 

“While that’s technically a double negative, I get what your meaning and I’m glad you’re still going,” she said. “But I probably wouldn’t bring this topic up until she’s not on pain meds and the two of you can have a proper conversation.” 

“Well, I’ve waited this long, what’s another couple of days, right?” He joked. 

Gemma rolled her eyes at him before going back to finish her dinner. 

**

You were at the hospital getting prepped for your surgery and Harry had yet to arrive. You hadn’t spoken to him on the phone in a few days, so you were starting to worry about him actually coming. You couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t come, though. Either he was running late or something super important came up... or he was just really upset with you. But still it didn’t matter what it was, you couldn’t believe he wouldn’t be there for you on a day like that. 

Your parents were there and keeping the girls in touch with everything. You had met with what seemed like every doctor in the building ever since you had arrived. They each went over the procedure and what it would entail. What recovery would look like and the of course, taking another MRI to make sure everything was good to go. 

You were hooked up to an IV and now it was just a waiting game until the start of surgery. You could tell your parents were also wondering about Harry’s whereabouts, but neither of them brought it up, not wanting you get you worked up. However, you were already there, while you were concerned as to what is was you had done to cause the weirdness between you and Harry, you were mostly pissed at this point. 

You needed him there and he was nowhere to be seen. Not even a single text or phone call. When the nurse came to take you to the OR, you knew he wasn’t coming. Sure he might show up after or once you’re home, but you wanted him there before you went in. And it wasn't there. 

Your parents gave you kisses on the head and well wishes before the nurses pushed your bed out of the room. Just as the nurse was pushing you down the hallway, you heard a voice from behind you. 

“Wait! Y/N! Please, wait, Excuse me,” they called out. 

The nurse stopped and turned around. You peeked behind her, seeing Harry standing there with his bags and out of breath. A smile spread across your lips as he walked over to you. 

“I’m so sorry,” he sighed. “My flight got delayed and then we to stuck in traffic.” 

“It’s okay,” you said. “I’m just happy you made it.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” he whispered. “I’ll see you when you get out, love.” 

“I love you,” you smiled. 

“I love you, too,” he whispered kissing you quickly before the nurse finished pushing you down the hallway and through the doors leading to the OR hallway.  Harry sighed turning around seeing your parents staring at him both with unhappy expressions on their faces. 

It was going to be a long couple of hours. 

**

Slowly getting back to writing! :) 

[karofsky]

Urgent Life Update: We Need Help.

I feel like I’ve done nothing but serve bad news for months now, but it’s something I’ve unfortunately just come to terms with being the normal.

Amidst my recent and ongoing health issues, our personal traumas and losses, and our already poor financial situation due to many collective issues, my girlfriend was just laid off from her job that would have made us okay. We are now both unemployed for factors outside of our control.

We are now facing eviction, our amenities being cut off, fear being sent to collections, and a cut to our renters credit and personal credit scores. RE: Help-- My parents are in the middle of a messy and expensive divorce, and her family cannot provide any financial help or space for us. Our complex is the cheapest in the area, but we can’t afford a down payment to move regardless. None of our friends can house us, either because of a space issue or our pets.

We plan to be okay next month. We have to be, and our working our asses off to get there. We just have so much to pay this month that shouldn’t have been a problem and now is, and frankly, we are drowning.

To ease any worry, we are okay on food. Neither of us are starving, though we admit to being more cautious with how much we eat. We have two very good friends that have been providing for us over the last few months, and are very fortunate because of it. 

I feel the need to be open about what any financial help will be spent on, so-- our rent, our phone bill, our internet bill, our utilities, our small credit debts from past bill payments, my medicine and hospital bills, and my work portfolio (which is my only source of income atm). Basically, bills. But I wanted to be clear, and honest: we are just two people in an unfortunate situation.

So, whether it be a reblog, a shoutout, or a financial contribution, we really appreciate it. Honestly. Neither of us are okay, and we already feel so indebted to everyone that has helped us in the last few months. But it’s appreciated.

PAYPAL: 

paypal.me/MadelineBrooks

paypal.me/KaitLikesCereal

VENMO:

starkurt

kaitlikescereal

Commissions have been my only source of income these last few months, and are always open --

http://starkurt.com/art

http://starkurt.com/commissions

My girlfriend makes lovely props and costumes, and does take commissions for them as well --

https://www.instagram.com/kaitlikescereal/

(She made a really cool shield recently; you should ask her about it)

Thank you all again, for so much.

Breakdown of the last ~4 months under a cut, just as some more background (or if you need proof, or a sob story, or whatever. I’ve never done this before.)

I left my then fairly longterm job because I received an offer for a fulltime position at another company. I liked my job, but the company was a mess, and my hours were being cut alongside the thousands of other employees. (Worked for the Mouse, if you were curious)

The second day I was at my new place work, I got permission to leave on my lunch because I was very ill and had a fever. I went to urgent care, and ended up having a sweltering 104 degree fever. I let my boss know I would be out the rest of the day and the next, and he approved. The next day, I received a text from my boss that the head boss “didn’t think my attendance was what they were looking for” (remember, it was my second day, and I had a dangerous fever, which both she and my supervisor were made aware of), and was promptly fired.

Spending 10 days bedridden with a fever that would only break for a few hours a day, I soon found out the company had never submitted any of my legal information, which means I was never officially employed despite working, and because of that I couldn’t submit for unemployment.

Shortly after, my girlfriend, who had been on a state mandated, legally approved disability for her physical and mental health, was illegally fired by her employer for “self termination”. We did seek legal action, but could not pursue it immediately due to our new financial stress.

After recovering for a month (as I could not physically leave the bed/couch), I began applying for jobs again, and had a few interviews. Most were promising but fell flat. I’ve been applying to jobs every day since, and have only seen any improvement once I changed my name (

My girlfriend started a new job which promised her a raise within a few weeks, which turned into a few months. Her wage was not as promised and we were broke for 3 months as I continued to struggle.

I ended up in the ER twice-- once in June, then once in July. The first was an entirely traumatic experience that forced me to undergo about 15 tests and biopsies, and I was left confusing every doctor as to what had caused it. I was fine following it, though was mentally put off because of the later developing fear of something more. My second trip was brought on by what I had thought was a heart attack from my stress, then once the panic settled, believed it was horrible food poisoning. I went in, was on IV and got more scans and tests, and with no results, was discharged with food poisoning. The next day I burst into a 102 degree fever and continued to be violently sick the week following, which only put me out of jobhunting again. It passed, but it left me with a gastro issue that I am continuing to deal with.

During this, my girlfriend had started her training for her promotion, all while being promised a raise and reimbursement for our phone and internet bills, since she was working from home 90% of the time. Once it came time for her to finish her training, take her certification test, and get promoted, her employers ghosted her for about a week, and then eventually let her know she was being let go due to budget cuts, and that they did not have the money to pay her. They still have not paid either our internet or our phone bills despite their constant promises, and both bills have now racked up multiple months of late fees because they were never taken care of.

So yet again, we are both unemployed and broke, but now have nearly $2000 of bills to pay, which doesn’t include my hospital bills which have only just started coming in.

Truly, if you can help in any way, it’s appreciated. We have been each other’s support systems these last two and half years, and losing our home and potentially all of our credit we’ve built up right before trying to move and get married will destroy us. We have both had so much loss and negativity, not even just these last few months, and we are just trying our best to continue seeing the good in life.

[benhardyisdaddy]

Love Of My Life - Part 5

MASTERLIST 

(hi guys this part is really heart wrenching so im sorry) 

Word Count: 1,850

John was given six months. It was as if he had an expiration date hanging over his head. He had six months to live. Six months to listen to music. Six months to laugh. Six months to be with you. He was taking all of this much better than you were. You were an absolute mess. Your husband was sick and all you wanted was to help him, but you can’t. And of course, John tried as much as he could to not be a burden on you, but a week after you all left the hospital, was when he was bedridden. He couldn’t walk as much, only to the bathroom and back. His energy had been taken away from him and you tried everything in your power to get it back for him. The only thing that had helped him a little bit, to make him feel normal, was sex. Even then, you had to be on top, which he hated. The sickness had hit him hard and fast and with really no warning, besides the fainting. Your best friend was hurting and you wish it could be you.

One evening, you were walking around the house doing some light chores. You walked into your bedroom and smile at John as he looks up to you quickly. He was sat up in bed with a pen in his hand. You looked at the piece of paper in his lap and raised a brow.

“What’re ya doin’, handsome?” you ask.

He giggles and shrugs as he continues to write.

“Just writing something.” he responds.

You smile to him and leave to allow him to concentrate. It made you happy that he was focused on something, other than laying in bed and… Dying. You finish picking up the house as you make your way back to the bedroom. John had placed what he was working on in his bedside drawer and closed it. You slide onto the bed and crawl up to him. He opens his arms as you rest your head on his chest and his arms curl around you. You wanted to do exactly this for the rest of your life, but you were on borrowed time. John kisses your head as you close your eyes and sink into him. He begins humming a song and you smile.

“I love you,” you whisper to him.

John pauses and leans his head against yours.

“I love you more.” he whispers back.

He continues humming and rubbing your arm until you drift off to sleep. No matter what, John always made sure you were happy.

***

It’s been three months and your nerves were on edge. Everything kept going downhill and every day was a constant battle between if you were going to wake up with your husband or not. When the two of you weren’t spending time together, John was engulfed in his writing. You always asked to see what they were, but he said it was surprise.

“Why can’t I read?” you ask him with a pout on your face.

John looks to you and can’t help but smile.

“I promise that I’ll let you read them eventually, okay?”

The conversation was then quickly over when John had one of his bad coughing fits. The coughing would exhaust him and he would have to lay down and rest. You kiss his cheek and watch as he falls asleep. Every time he closes his eyes always scared you. Would they ever open up again? You watch him for a moment until there’s a knock at your front door. You gently stand up from the bed and make your way to the living room. You open the door and there stood was Roger.

“Hi,” he says, smiling.

You smile and take a step back, allowing him to come inside. He walks in and looks around your home.

“How is he?” he asks.

You shrug and walk to the couch and sit down. Roger follows and sits next to you, turning to face you.

“It’s just gotten worse.” you explain, not able to look at him. “I’m scared, Rog. I can’t lose him.”

Roger scoots forward and wraps his arms around you.

“It’s okay,” he whispers. “I know. It’s okay.”

He holds you for several seconds until you lean away. You wipe your eyes and exhale. You lost count of how many times you have cried these past months.

“He’s been writing,” you say. “He’s been emptying out his heart, yet he won’t let me read them.”

Rog smiles thinking about John writing and looks back to you.

“He has his reasons. Maybe he’s just not finished with them yet.”

You smile to Rog and nod as you hear John mumbling in the bedroom. You both jump up and rush in there. John was looking around the room frantically as he gasped for air. Panic set in as you realize he can’t catch his breath. He begins coughing again and can’t seem to stop. You fly next to him as he grasps at his chest. Roger had his phone pulled out and was on the phone with help.

“John, baby, slow deep breaths.” you remind him.

He closes his eyes and attempts to take in breaths. Before you know it, ambulance sirens were close. You were all going to be headed to hospital once more.

***

John had been given his own room and hooked up once again to wires and IV’s. Seeing him back in the hospital bed had broken your heart. He looked uncomfortable and you wanted to take him away and go back home. Roger didn’t leave your side through this whole time. The same doctor who helped him before had entered the room with a sad look in her eyes.

“You want to pull up a chair-” she goes to say.

“Please just say what you have to say.” you mumble.

She nods her head and looks down for a moment, before looking up to John.

“It’s progressed further than what we thought it would. We’re going to have to keep you here so we can monitor you closely, John.”

You close your eyes and squeeze John’s hand. He couldn’t even go home now. This place was now his home. Everything just kept changing for the worst and you were so upset. Roger watched the two of you as you both got the news. You looked devastated and John looked exhausted.

***

John wasn’t the only one living in the hospital. You made sure to be right next to him no matter what. Roger was a huge help as he ran back and forth to your house and hospital to retrieve items for the two of you. It had been two weeks since he’s been put in the hospital, but it’s felt much longer. You would curl on the bed next to John and read him stories as he held you close. That was your favorite part of the day with him. Most of the day consisted of tests and medicine. It was taking a toll on John and you knew it.

One evening you decided to go to the cafeteria and grab some lunch. Roger was there with you as you stood from the bed and leaned down to kiss John. He cups your face and smiles against you. He was for, some reason, especially tired today. He leans away and runs his thumb over your cheek. Oh, how lucky you were.

“Get something good for me.” he teases.

He was on a strict bland diet and hated the food. You would always sneak him in snacks that he wanted.

“Maybe I’ll sneak you up something again.” you whisper to him.

He laughs and nods his head. He reaches out to grab your hand, pausing you.

“I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.” he starts. “I love you more than anything.”

You sadly smile at him and run your thumb over his chin.

“I know you do, baby. And I love you more than anything.”

He smiles and nods.

“I know. I just needed you to know that. You’re my best friend.”

You grin and lean forward to gently kiss him.

“And you’re mine.”

He leans away and pecks your lips. You walk to his door and turn around to look back at him once more. He smiles to you and holds a thumbs up, an inside joke between you two. You laugh and hold yours up. Roger stands behind you and smiles at your exchange of silliness. You walk away as Roger looks to John. John smiles to him and mouths a ‘thank you’ to him. Roger looks a bit confused as he nods his head and places his hand over his heart before walking away to follow you.

The two of you make your way to the cafeteria and look around. There was only one person there as you browse through the many choices of food. You come across the very last pudding cup and grab it. This was John’s favorite. You smile to yourself and look to Roger. He smiles to you and continues looking.

“Gonna sneak this up there for him. Why he can’t eat sweet stuff is beyond me-”

Suddenly, the speakers in the hospital turn on and a female voices speaks out.

“Code blue, room 306. Code blue, room 306.”

Your heart almost stopped. It was as if time had stood still. You look over to Roger as his eyes catch yours. Code blue meant emergency. Room 306 was John’s room. Before you know, you were turned around and running through the cafeteria and through the lobby. Your heart was racing as tears flooded down your face. You were breathing fast and hard as you reach the stairwell and run up. You didn’t have time for the elevator. You hear Roger behind you as you burst through the doors. 

You watch as doctors swarm all around and follow them to John’s room. There’s shouting as they all swarm around him. You walk up to the door and watch as your husband lays lifeless in bed, his eyes closed. They were trying to resuscitate him, but nothing happened. The pudding cup that had been in your hand was dropped. You bring your hand over your mouth and sob. This can’t be happening. You were only gone for ten minutes. You had just kissed him. You had just heard his voice. You had just seen him smile. He couldn’t be gone.

Roger was stood next to you with his eyes wide open as he watched the nurses run around. He looks over to you and watches as pure shock fills your face. You were shaking and scared as you sob against your hand. He looks back into the room and watches as his best friend lays there motionless. All he could think about was John thanking him before he left. Thank you for what, he thought. He watches as a doctor puts his finger against John’s neck and looks down at his watch. He frowns and shakes his head.

“Time of death, 1:46 PM.”

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[artificialqueens]

don't play the fool now (multi) - chapter two - lily2

adore isn’t too interested in attending the famous and ever-so popular: club katya however, she bumps into someone who leaves a lasting impression. meanwhile, shea breaks the most basic rules of her job and katya definitely cares for her sister more than she should.

— ✧*。

Adore stood, locking arm’s with Scarlet and Courtney who were on both of her sides, both of them completely dolled up and wearing their finest and cutest sequin dresses, the new employee stuck out like a sore thumb with her long hair down, a short and black v-neck dress and of course some fishnets and bright red lipstick— she didn’t want to be polished, it was a casino and a club after all, as if someone could get through a sentence or even speak to her about her possibly questionable style choices as they sat, gambling their life away and utterly wasted.

“Well I don’t see the others but we are a bit early.” The Australian speaking up and brushing her hair back gently, not wanting to ruin the shape before she heard a whistle and saw the rest of the girls from their unit walk up, Adore clearly the odd one out as even Yvie decided to dress in whatever she could find that wasn’t too casual. “Let’s do the damn thing ladies.” Aja spoke over the gaggle of girls who all interlocked hands, it almost looked like a cult; an extremely attractive and undercover (but not really) cult. 

First Scarlet and Courtney walked through, waving to the suspecting and familar bartenders and staff who greeted them oh-so-sweetly as expected from two glamorous regulars though Adore couldn’t help but notice the security’s eyes follow her before she turned the corner, clinging a bit to her two new teammates, not due to fear however, Azusa was far more tramuatic and terrifying as a thought than this entire casino: it was more the feeling of being so unaware, everything was bright and the lights a bit dim, people of every kind wanting the same two things: money and alcohol, music blasting as Yvie and Tatianna moved as they walked, feeling themselves to the song. 

“Obviously we aren’t gonna stick together forever so do we want to have a time and place to meet?” Scarlet raising her hand to stop the other seven girls from walking past her, raising a good concern. “The fact you think we will be sober enough to even remember.” Yvie cackled, amused that Scarlet really, truly believed picking a place in the middle of the night, at a casino was a good option for the unit of girls, trying to run away from the stress of their jobs and welcome Adore (in possibly the worst fashion possible) as they gambled and drank the night away, atleast that was what Yvie was planning to do with her time.

“It’s a genuine question, I’m sorry I don’t actually get wasted every time I go out somewhere and besides we’re not on the job, not like I have radios to talk with you guys!“ 

Tatianna held her phone up and nervously gave a smile to the two already beginning to start the usual bickering session, “But we all do have phones and I’m sure some of us will stick together, if anyone goes wrong let’s do that me and Brook Lynn are the ones to call, I know she doesn’t drink too often anhway and I’m pretty responsible so we’ll be the good parents today.” The Canadian shrugged, utterly and completely okay with that little suggestion, “That’s fine by me, I know I’m always the type to get bored and be on my phone anyway." 

"Why did you come then?” Yvie asked, gripping her arm, “Because someone has to be the responsible one like Tatianna said and I don’t trust any of the rest of you to be at Club Katya, we saw how that saga turned out for you and for Aja last time.” Adore wasn’t exactly sure what story that was about but judging by Aja’s cheeks beginning to glow red and Yvie’s stammer, she assumed it wasn’t the most pleasant situation or maybe it was the fucking funniest thing ever, she had yet to find out and maybe she never would.

“You’re coming with me!” Scarlet winked at Adore, speaking up over the rest of them and dragging her along with Courtney, the two of them giddy as can be, they seemed to legitmately enjoy the aesthetic and double life, not like anyone would ask what job they had and if they didn’t they certainly wouldn’t answer a private investigator or detective, what a damn downer.

“The first night of your job and you’re gonna spend it with us gambling, wonderful!” The chipper tone from Courtney’s voice enough to speak volumes of how this night was about to go, she was either going to earn a fuck ton of money or die on the balcony roof and both seemed like acceptable, viable options at this stage of the game.

“Let’s get our money ladies!" 

*.✧

Bianca, Shea and Jinkx gathered in the car, all dressed about as nice they ever would going to Club Katya though Bianca always attempted to atleast look decent, wanting to make a lasting impression and also show off her clothing, it was a win-win! Shea’s fingers tapped the window of the car she she stared blankly, the window of the black Tesla dimmed, Jinkx claiming it was for protection— not wanting others to make any assumptions but Shea knew it really came down to what was probably a sponsorship and the fact that Jinkx could barely drive if the sun was glaring, she probably got tired of wearing glasses in the car, claiming always it made her look older than Bianca.

"You’re really hilarious for someone who can’t even stay awake doing a simple task, why do you think I only give you the exciting shit? It’s not because I love you, it’s because I know you won’t fucking sleep and pass out on the concrete.” The Auburn haired woman had to laugh, gently clutching Bianca’s arm, Jinkx knew the mutual love and respect they had shared for over two decades was enough to make her atleast go a bit easy on the Seattle native, she twirled her own auburn hair around her fingertips before giving a blank stare at Shea, who turned and met her eyes.

Jinkx wasn’t exactly sure what to think of Shea just yet, she had been very promising and apparently Bob’s word of her was so generous and so incredible that Bianca already trusted her with Katya: Manila had been scared after only meeting her at Bianca’s own living space, though she had a few, once a few boys and drugs got involved so to see someone as new as Shea being trusted to handle the dirt and task to come was definitely terrifying and impressive enough.

“You nervous?” Bianca asked, crossing her legs as Shea’s eyes darted away from Jinkx, her hands interlocking with themselves as she shut her eyes, running a hand through her hair. “A little, but nothing I can’t handle, I’m here to show I’m ready for the job.” For someone who had only joined five months ago she was definitely a shining beacon of what the future was in store atleast that was how Bob put it and Bianca would definitely trust her word.

“Well, don’t stress yourself out before we’ve gotten there.” Was the only piece of truth Bianca could offer before she turned away from Shea who only gave a polite nod, wishing deeply she had just been sent with Aquaria and Violet instead, she had heard a lot about the infamous Katya Zamolodchikova.

Katya Zamolodchikova who had been in prison for drug abuse, Katya who had escaped Russia due to her family and the growing and rampant terror of government, Katya who now was a mogul in the Eastern United States for her line of casinos, clubs and whatever downtrodden thing she could possibly imagine, living on her own and hanging around at her own established area’s, staying hush and quiet about any business or disappearance of men or women who had messed with the wrong people. 

All she had to do was laugh or smile and she had anyone who was willing around her finger, her thick and curly long blonde hair covering almost all her beautifully and consistently painted face, wearing lots of lace and lingerie on her downtime and spending her growing fortune on beauty products, animal charities, her new projects and sometimes saving a stack or two for Bianca who had helped her break into the business and gave her a place when she was just a bedridden, ill immigrant, lost in New York City and barley able to communicate in proper English.

“I miss Katya!” Jinkx pouted, smiling at the thought of seeing her fellow Eastern European at her own club, she knew the meeting was for business but nothing a pack of cigarettes couldn’t do for sweet and dear Katya, Bianca had already figured out every mark and weakness she had and she really would be a difficult character to crack if it wasn’t for the fact she is the reason the bitch could even communicate in English. “I don’t.” Bianca laughed, hitting Jinkx before coughing and handling herself up again realizing Shea was still in the car and she had to keep up that “leader” and “supreme boss” act up. 

✧*。

The three exited the car, Bianca giving her driver direct and clear instructions when and where to come before he was on his way off, she walked in the middle of Shea and Jinkx, the latter auburn haired woman adjusting her dress and making sure it hit the floor in just the right light before she shook a bit to ease her own personal stress and begun walking closely to Bianca, Shea following in pursuit, knowing better than to open her mouth and ask questions. 

Music blasting, lights dimmed, flashing and bright colors everywhere, alcohol splattered on the floor everywhere they seemed to look and the constant image of people grinding or kissing or attempting to dance: this was definitely Katya’s club and her own doing.

Bianca’s heels hit the tile of the hallway right next to club, her two girls following, many knew this as the gateway from the Club to the Casino or vise versa but the hallway also housed dressing rooms for any kind of entertainment that showed up, Katya took after these rooms like her own and had even converted one into her personal space, knowing her entire life was work and the occasional times she went home and didn’t have to ring down ten shots of vodka. 

A smattering knock from Jinkx, credit to her, had the Russian cursing before she opened the door and her dull and otherwise threatening expression changed into a soft smile, her eyes raising in surprise as her lashes fluttered, shrieking then which made Shea almost collapse into the pavement in surprise, still grasping the door handle she quickly pulled the three of them in and locked the door— Bianca impressed with how well decorated and insulted the room was. 

The Russian quickly grabbing Bianca in her arms and laughing wholeheartedly, the two giggling and rowdy like two high schoolers, “красивая женщина!” She cooed in Russian to her dearest and nearest friend before taking Jinkx and planting a kiss on both of her cheeks as she reciprocated the favor, “красивое платье.” Jinkx flushing and waving her off, knowing more than enough Russian to realize she called her dress beautiful, “Спасибо!” The half-Ukranian replied with a soft glow across her face, Katya wearing nothing but a gorgeous red, feathered sheer robe with a thick black bra and spandex.

“Looking like a whore as usual.” Bianca teased as Shea stood a bit awkwardly, not exactly knowing how and when to introduce herself to the not-so-mysterious Russian mogul. “Oh yes!” Jinkx clapped noticing Shea, “Katya, this is Shea, she works for us and is a very good and promising employee." 

They shook hands though Katya was never into the formality, she’d rather kiss someone on the cheek than shake their hand and hope the other person didn’t have a strong grip. "Any friend of Bianca is of course a friend of mine, I trust you are new? I have yet to see or hear of you around.” Her sniffing was absolutely correct, Bianca explaining she was of Bob’s finding and is very dedicated to her line of work and extremely intelligent. “Likes leather to boot.” The comment from the blonde referring to her skin-tight leather emsmeble, “I like it!” She slapped Shea’s shoulders and flashed that endearing and famous Katya smile.

“Thank you, it’s a pleasure." 

The four of them sat before Katya stood again, pouring four glasses of genuine Russian vodka she had gotten yesterday from her deliveries, "Just some taste of the motherland!” Handing a glass to the other three they cheered and took down the shot, Katya giving herself another sip straight from the bottle just for fun.

“So of course there is some business to speak of, we love you but we have a task to finish.” Bianca spoke first, Katya leaning in her chair and staring curiously, “Well yes, it’s what you must do, please tell me more.” Bianca opened her mouth before giving a signal for Jinkx and Shea to leave, an unusual turn of events they both gave eachother a disheartened look before they stood and went out the door, Bianca scooting closer to Katya, “I want them out because this goes back to you." 

"To me? Has my family finally caught up to me and the Russian government wants the money I stole back?" 

"Not exactly but I fear it has something to possibly do with your sister." 

Katya’s face bleached itself white, her breathing a bit slower but her heart racing almost three times as fast, her greatest and only fear in life wasn’t being killed, death, nothing like that; it was her sister being in harm and somehow poking herself at the underground and what was there, Sasha had majored in forensics and political science last Katya had heard, their brief and discreet conversation during their mother’s funeral at St. Petersburg more than enough of an indication that Sasha would absolutely become some kind of hero, politician or worse— detective.

"Bianca you swore to me she would never, ever get hurt or wind up in your cases.” The tone in her voice nothing but pure anger and disappointment, Bianca quickly grabbed her hands and shook her head, “And I’m keeping that promise, I’m a cold hearted bitch but jesus christ, you know I would never do that shit.”

The Russian breathed a much needed sigh of relief before letting go of her hands, “So what, I’m guessing she is a detective now? My worst fear.” Bianca could only nod and see Katya’s eyes flash with nothing but utter fear and worry, she knew that meant her sister was safe but at a distance— they weren’t going to just dismiss her and go easy if she tried to harass and meddle in what she didn’t need to even if she was Katya’s sister but: the promise would always be kept, Katya was absolutely sacred and her sister was untouched territory, that’s how it would stay.

“She is but from our files it shows she really hasn’t broken out on us specifically, she is doing the easy work, not the dirty work, anyone can take someone to court for a single count of murder and analyze the results." 

"So what about her is so important then?" 

Bianca snuck a file folder covered in sticky notes, throwing it to Katya for her to open and investigate herself.

"We need you to help us out and pull some strings." 

✧*。

Shea had decided to take the chance as she walked herself over the casino, knowing Bianca was someone who would take her sweet, sweet time if she was talking business and things with Katya: Jinkx insisting on just staying by the club and getting alcohol. Giving herself a grand tour, Shea gagged at the sheer amount of wealth and power and beauty the casino showed off, clearly Katya was intent on showing every penny she had put into her business and buildings, it showed from the outside to the inside.

Alcohol was the only thing really on her mind and she wanted to overpay for a speciality cocktail to atleast make herself feel a bit fancy and important, not wanting to be in the club lights and blasting music, the Casino had music but was definitely not loud and not obnxious party and dance music, it was a nice welcome in the moment.

Her eyes immediately caught eye of a stranger, short haired, curly blonde and tall who was leaning against the bar and speaking to someone next to her who had long, thick and black hair. The blonde’s soft gaze almost instantly gravitating Shea towards her, she prayed that she wasn’t married and this wouldn’t be awkward fast, she simply wanted a drink and the opportunity to buy her one. 

"Excuse me.” Shea spoke up, gently tapping the blonde on her shoulder, she turned in the barstool and her eyes met with Shea’s and the two completely melted, Sasha incomprehensibly silent before Adore nudged her a bit, smirking seeing her new co-worker and fellow friend so caught in midst of the gaze. 

“Oh I’m sorry, that was so rude.” The Russian speaking up once Adore gently shook her out of it, the two smiling at eachother as Sasha leaned on the bar counter, telling that the mysterious and new girl clearly was struggling to speak, “I…" 

Shea put her hands around her own waist and gave a glistening grin and wink, sliding in-between her and her friend, Adore raising her hands a bit frustrated that she might already turn into the third wheel. "I was wondering if I could buy you a drink." 

"I would be very glad if you did." 

Thank god, Shea begun to calm a bit, pulling out an 100$ bill and sliding it to the bar tender who quickly took it and waited for whatever drinks they wanted to purchase, "I just want straight vodka.” She must’ve been Eastern European judging by her choice in alcohol, it wasn’t sterotypical, it was just what she had come to understand from Jinkx and barely meeting Katya twenty minutes ago. Not to mention the not too obvious but still noticable punch of an accent

“Gin and tonic.” She instructed while still staring at Sasha, entranced, she was already breaking ten rules in the non-existent handbook of being in the mafia but not like Bianca was even wondering where she was, if she was she would’ve called anyway. “I’m Sasha.” She giggled, Shea taking her hand and giving a small wink in reply, “Shea." 

Adore didn’t know whether to throw up and just leave, let her be or see where this went but she decided on the usual, giving Sasha a discreet tap of the shoulder, a nod from her and she was off on her on.

Ten minutes of aimless strolling had showed that Scarlet and Courtney were both gambling as if they had any good amount of money to lose so freely, flying by the hem of their dresses. But they genuinely seemed to be loving their lives and the game they were playing.

"Oh shit!” She yelped, feeling herself fall into someone as she stared backwards, not paying attention to whatever was in front of her, an entire bag dropped but she more focused on helping out the poor person she had knocked down.

“Jesus Christ!” Yelled the other, distinctly female voice, before Adore gently took her hands and helped her up, making sure she didn’t trip on her heels before they both begun to speak, quickly letting go of their hands. 

Bianca couldn’t help but glance at her, she was gorgeous. She would usually rip someone in fishnets to pieces and destroy them on sight but damn she looked good and everything fit her to a t, clearly she had her own eye for fashion, her dark eyes and dark hair only helping her to blend in with the dark wall of the casino, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t watch where I was going—" 

"I know, I know, I got that.” Bianca dusted herself off and only hoped her heels didn’t suffer any damages, they were expensive and a gift from Raja which meant she either bought them or stole them but either way, same attachment to the perfectly snug white heels. Adore snapped back, “I’m sorry?" 

"Listen don’t worry about it, really, thank you for your help.” Bianca raced off as fast as a normal person could look trying to run in heels across a casino at night but Adore blinked, finally shying her eyes away from the woman. 

She was beautiful. 

Black hair, styled very nicely to add onto the overall package, white heels, a tulle skirt and either handsewen or what Adore assumed was designer for a sequined top that matched and coordinated so well with her entire outfit, she was either the most important person in the world and Adore was oblivious or she was just someone’s arm candy for the night who needed to make themselves into a beauty queen for the occasion.

Adore didn’t believe too badly in many things but she would definitely pray and hope that somehow, somehow she could find that same girl again, someday

[bae-leth]

I had a bunch more stuff I wanted to say about Faris and Natalia’s relationship in the Fraldarddyd family AU but I thought it would be easier on everyone to put all my thoughts in one submissions instead of sending a dozen asks this time. Also, lol, I can’t believe I keep coincidentally giving these characters the names of your relatives, what the heck???

Let’s just go over Faris first. He’s a friendly and social guy. He’s obsessed with the stars and can talk about them for hours if given the chance. He’s a smart guy and super politically savvy, perfectly at home in even the most cutthroat political climates. He’s known to be very mischievous and prone to pranks, though the less he likes you then the harsher his pranks can be. He and Natalia are the same age but he’s a couple months younger, which she loves to hold over him especially after he grows taller than her. He and Zain are pretty close despite Zain loving to give his little brother shit whenever possible. I see him being magically gifted, so I imagine him as a Warlock. I see him mainly taking after Claude in terms of looks (I don’t really have a spouse in mind for Claude in this AU so I’m leaving that part kinda vague).

Strengths – Reason, Authority; Weaknesses – Axe, Brawl, Heavy Armor; Budding Talent - Lance

Zain is two years older than Faris and basically anyone who meets him considers him a stern and serious no-nonsense kind of crown prince. This is how he’s like around most people. However he allows himself to relax and show off a much more playful, emotional, teasing side around people he trusts wholeheartedly (his immediate family and a small handful of friends). He resembles his brother in having the same eye color and skin tone, but Zain looks much more rugged and mature. Unlike Faris he is perfectly at home on the battlefield, being a renowned Sniper with plenty of victories to his name. He never became a Barbarossa like his dad cause he’s scared of heights. He enjoys the ocean a ton, so he’s always up for ocean voyages and will take any and every chance to explore coastlines.

Strengths - Bow, Axe, Authority; Weaknesses – Faith, Flying; Budding Talent - Riding

The whole engagement thing between Faris and Natalia is largely unofficial and both sides mainly just want their kids to become close to promote good relations between Fodlan and Almyra. Although things would really work out the best if the pair did become romantically involved but no one is really pushy about it. Especially since Faris and Natalia just do NOT like each other. Honestly the only thing stopping the first meeting between the royal children from being a complete disaster is that both Faris and Zain quickly become attached to Artemis (prince of stealing hearts without even trying). Faris and Artemis latch onto each other since they have so much in common (second princes, good at magic, similar weaknesses, bookworms, etc) while Zain ends up considering Artemis like another little brother while Artemis really look up to Zain (it’s thanks to Zain that Artemis’ budding talent is bows). Also Zain actually ends up being friendly with Natalia too (he likes her strong, honest personality and honestly he finds the disaster that is hers and Faris’ relationship hilarious, plus she thinks he’s super cool and likes sparring with him). So it’s literally just Natalia and Faris at odds with each other.

“If you like Artemis so much, why don’t you marry him instead?!” “Maybe I will!” “Fine!” “Fine!” “FINE!” “FINE!!!” *Zain and Artemis in the background, talking about their favorite desserts and not getting involved in their siblings’ fight*

“Claude I’m starting to doubt if this will work out. The two of them hate each other.” “Well Felix hated you plenty for a few years and look at you now. Adorable little lovebirds, a love story perfect for the bards to sing of!” “Listen here you little-” “Felix please.”

In order to try and help Natalia and Faris get along they’re both sent to visit each other’s homeland a bunch over the years. Occasionally the whole family goes but the rulers can’t keep running off all the time. So most of the time it’s Natalia (and Artemis because Natalia barricaded herself in her room until her dads agreed to let her take Artemis along “to see that stupid Faris’ face”) visiting Almyra for several weeks and then a little while later it’s Faris visiting Fodlan, particularly Faerghus, for several weeks (only bringing Zain when he’s in a particularly bad mood thanks to Natalia since Zain keeps making fun of him otherwise).

Faris is kinda sorta okay when he’s in Faerghus, even though it’s absurdly cold most of the time. Hell, every time he thinks he’s wearing enough the weather proves him wrong. Natalia keeps laughing at him when he has to dress up like a marshmallow in order to go out in Faerghus winters. Natalia is very brutal in snowball fights…RIP Faris. He definitely prefers to stay inside by the fireplace, though Natalia is insistent on dragging him outside. It usually ends in him spending the last few days of his stay sick in bed.

Natalia, like Dimitri, is dead in heat so every time she goes to Almyra she spends around a week just laying on her bed wearing as little as proper manners will allow. Faris alternates between “helping” by practicing his ice magic on her or otherwise relying on her need to do better than him to goad her into playing with him. Though he had to lay off on that after Natalia got heatstroke once.

Natalia considers it a personal insult that her beloved horse absolutely adores Faris when he’s usually very picky about who he allows near him (“Ares, how could you do this to me?!” *neighs* “Oh don’t give me that attitude young man!”)

Faris, in the meanwhile, is not pleased by how his retainers-in-the-making are absolutely smitten with Natalia (“Did you see her in yesterday’s spar with the new recruits? She could break my spine and I’d thank her.” “Please, sweet embrace of death, come for me.”)

Artemis and Zain start being regular pen pals as they compare archery notes, seek advice from one prince to another, talk about recent events in their homeland and in their lives, and complain about their siblings/commentate on whether or not they’ll get together.

“I don’t know, Zain, after that incident with the birds Sister said, and I quote, ‘The next time I see that scrawny piece of *ahem* garbage, he’s dead. Almyra will be down a prince and they’ll be all the better for it.’ So I’m saying no.” “I’d agree with you, especially since Faris has been disturbingly interested in researching dark magic after eating those ‘super special Faerghus delicacies’ Natalia brought last time. But for as social as he is my brother is normally never so obsessed with anyone, so I think we may have a romance for the ages on our hands, my friend!”

The two of them play PLENTY of stupid pranks on each other over the years. Sometimes they flat out got into physical fights with each other. The people of Fodlan and Almyra have long since gotten used to the sound of Faris and Natalia yelling at each other and then the sound of crashing and punching.

That being said, not everything was bad between them. That one time Natalia got heatstroke, Faris was genuinely apologetic and worried about her and kept her company while she was bedridden. Likewise Natalia does feel bad when she keeps getting Faris sick while trying to show off Faerghus to him and will read him adventure stories to pass the time. Also I love the idea you mentioned of Faris trying to help Natalia get over her low spice intolerance (to mixed results, Natalia’s just glad she no longer downs an entire pitcher of water on her own after eating Almyran food). One time when a Faerghus noble child made a snide remark about Faris being Almyran, Natalia tackled the brat to the ground.

Faris, holding a tissue to Natalia’s bloody nose: “I thought you didn’t like me.” Natalia, very obviously confused: “??? What does not liking you have to do with you being Almyran?” Faris: “Heh, I suppose you’re right for once.”

“Zain, I think I want to change my opinion. Sister and Faris may have more of a chance than I originally thought.” ��What did I tell you, Artemis? Romance for the ages…”

As the years pass and Natalia and Faris both grow and mature and mellow out, the two of them start to consider each other friends. They speak more, debate more, discuss their interests more, and slowly start to enjoy spending time together. Eventually it gets to the point where the two of them joke around about their kinda sorta engagement to each other. Natalia singing the absolute worst love songs while Faris writes the cheesiest poetry and love letters imaginable. Calling each other cutesy pet names, those kind of shenanigans.

Honestly, they mostly do it just to fuck with poor Zain and Artemis, who didn’t ask for this bullshit but are stuck with it anyways.

“Artemis, I need you to kill me, I can’t tolerate them anymore.” “Come now, Zain, it’s not so bad! Hey, why don’t we go for a ride on Altena? That always calms me down!” “I cannot stress enough how much I would rather die than do that…” “What are you trying to say about my sweet Altena, huh?” “Would you stop taking it as an insult against your wyvern every time?!”

Natalia starts teaching Faris about fighting with lances. And Faris helps Natalia grow more used to handling politics.

Honestly, there was something special growing between them for quite some time after they started getting along better, but neither of them really recognized what it could be. But they kept getting closer and closer as time passed. At public events they stuck by each other’s side and often danced together. They were seen going off on rides together or just taking walks while talking.

Faris is the first one to recognize his feelings when he comes along to help Natalia out with a skirmish. The pair make a great team in battle, covering for each other’s weaknesses well. Faris, too exhausted after a large number of enemies surrounded him, is almost taken down from behind when Natalia saves him. His joke has a fair amount of relief and gratitude in it when he says “Thanks for the help, sweetheart!” But WOW when Natalia turns to him with the most dazzling smile on her face, looking like she practically glowing with the sun behind her, Faris feels like his heart stops. “Anytime, honey!” And Faris just keeps staring after her as she rushes off after another enemy.

Natalia was always pretty but Faris has never actually acknowledged how pretty until that moment. And his heart won’t stop racing, her smile and voice still in his head. And oh fuck, oh shit, he knows exactly what this is…

“Zain, you umm…you wouldn’t happen to know when the next visit to Fodlan is, would you?” “…Why do you ask, my dear little brother? :))))))” “…Are you going to tell Arty about this?” *Zain, pulling out a piece of parchment and quill* “What gives you that idea????”

Faris regrets everything when his parents and brother don’t let him live it down that he’s now realized he’s in love with Natalia. “Whatever happened to ‘I’d rather become a hermit and die alone and unloved on a barren mountain than ever marry her’ Faris? Seven-year-old you was soooo dramatic!” “Father, please.”

Things don’t change too significantly after Faris’ realization. But there are changes. He’s noticeably softer around Natalia, smiling gently around her or going along with her wishes more easily. Most of his pranks towards her tone down to being things that give her pleasant surprises. The most significant change comes from the love letters and poems purposefully written badly for jokes slowly becoming more sincere sounding and really sweet.

Natalia doesn’t know what to make of the changes. They’re odd but she’s more surprised by how much she enjoys it. She even reads Faris’ letters and poems over and over well into the night. A warm and peaceful feeling spreads through her every time she gets a new letter from Faris or he holds her closer than usual during a dance.

She doesn’t realize it’s love until sometime later when she visits Almyra. Faris is so bright and excited as he drags her outside in the dead of night because the skies are so clear that you can see way more stars than normal and it’s soooo beautiful. Faris happily explains the stories behind all the different constellations and laughs so happily recalling some of his favorite tales. Natalia stares and stares at him and thinks that she could watch him smile and laugh like that forever. At some point Faris starts holding her hands and pulls her close to him as he keeps pointing out constellations and telling her stories. And Natalia tries so hard to concentrate on his words but all she can focus on is his hands and how warm they are and so much bigger than hers and how she wants him to keep holding her and-Oh. Ooohhhh…Oh fuck…

“So, Sister, you enjoyed your last visit to Almyra a lot, didn’t you?” “Hmm? What gave that away, Artemis?” *Natalia, lying on her bed surrounded by all of Faris’ letters and poems to her, giggling to herself as she reads them* “…Just a hunch.”

“Felix, it seems Claude was right. He tells me Faris is rather obviously smitten. And it’s easy to tell Natalia is in love. While I’m sad at how quickly the children are growing up, it’s wonderful to see them so happy, isn’t it?” “Uh-huh yeah sure, do you think this blade is sharp enough or should I take it back to the blacksmith? I want it ready before the Almyrans come visit next month.” “…Why are you-?” “You know damn well why.” “Felix.”

“Well it seems you and I will get to call each other ‘brother’ soon enough, Artemis! Or well, hopefully soon enough. It depends on how long it takes our stubborn siblings to take those final steps.” “Agreed. But I’ve already thought of you as my brother for a long time now, Zain. We’ve known each other for so many years! Your one of my dearest friends and my brother in all but blood. :)” “…” “??? Zain, are you crying-?” “*sobs* NO, I’m not!”

[singingvio]

Chapter Two of my Haunted Castle AU!

(This is basically just the histories of the victims. So it’s a lot shorter than the prologue, but all the chapters will be shorter than the prologue, so yeah. Also it ends with some Vio/Shadow and Crazy-Grin Shadow. Also Vio gained a nickname Shadow uses all the time. it’s important to the story.)

chapter one!

Green smiled, at least his new friend would maybe be able to help. “Um, I want to know everything about the people murdered here as possible.” Vaati grinned even wider.

“So, all four of them? Or just one?”

“All of them.”

“All right, Green, get ready for about an hour-long history lesson.” Vaati said, pulling multiple papers and books out of backpack, which Green now is sure that it’s magical. “Which one do you want to know about first?” Green thought for a moment.

“The advisor, I guess.” he didn’t mention that the advisor, Vio, was the first he saw in the castle. Vaati laughed.

“Cool, that one’s my favorite! But I don’t know a lot about him, no one does, really.” he said. Vaati took out a photograph of Vio and Shadow, but they weren’t wearing the same outfits from Green’s dream/vision/crazy person thing. Vio wore a plain long-sleeve purple shirt and white pants, not the purple robe-thing. Shadow wore pretty much the same thing, but the eye that was red was yellow, and his hair was plain black.

“This is Vio Oshitsu, the royal advisor, in the castle courtyard with his friend, a half-demon named Shadow Lorule.” Vaati said. Green frowned.

“Why does Shadow look different than in that picture up there?”

“Easy. One: he’s a shapeshifter. Two: this was apparently taken early in the morning, and it was common knowledge that Shadow can’t keep a single appearance when it’s early.” Green nodded. “Vio was the youngest royal advisor in history, and known to be one of the smartest people in Hyrule at only sixteen. He rarely left the castle, but when he did, it was either with Shadow or his twin brother, Blue. he was really secretive in general, and the only one he was known to share secrets and such with was Shadow.”

“Why Shadow? Why not Blue?”

“I think it was because Blue and Vio didn’t get along as children, and Vio and Shadow met when they were really little and Shadow saved him from something, and they trust each other more than Vio trusts Blue.”

“Oh, okay. Anything else about Vio?”

“He was well-liked by pretty much everyone that met him, and was really quiet, spending most of his time in the castle library. No one knows why he was murdered, or why anyone wanted to murder him at all. Lots of people expected Shadow as the murderer, because he was half-demon and went everywhere with Vio, and even if he hadn’t killed him, he should have seen the murderer.”

“Was he the murderer?”

“No, he was killed a week later, right after Vio’s funeral.”

Green sat back in his chair. “That’s… messed up.”

“Yeah. No one known who the murderer, or murderers, was. Want me to keep going?”

“Sure. Tell me about Shadow.” Vaati grinned.

“There’s a LOT about Shadow, but a lot of it is rumours that he probably spread himself. Where do you want me to start, because there isn’t a lot of info about him that isn’t maybe a rumour other than his family history, which is confusing.”

“Start with the family history and the maybe-rumours that are more… realistic?”

“All right, let’s do this. Shadow Lorule was born in a kingdom neighboring his one named Lorule, and he was raised in a royal household. He wasn’t part of the royal family that much, though. His father was a demon and died shortly after his birth while his mother was the sister of he king but worked as a servant in the castle, not wanting any royal stuff because she thought it would give her a huge ego like it did her brother, and so Shadow lived a poor but also somehow fancy life with his mom. When he turned ten, he discovered his shapeshifting powers and the fact that he learned from his father’s sister that the form he had currently was not his true form. His true form is what you see in the picture, except pitch black. So eventually, since the townspeople got scared of him because he was a demon kid, he ran away, and his mother understood and was fine with it.”

“Huh.”

“And then the mom died. So then Shadow, full of grief and somehow thinking his mother’s death was his fault, which it wasn’t, made it to Hyrule Castle, where the twins, Vio and Blue, found him half-dead from starvation, since it took him a full month to get there, and people kept throwing rocks at him because demon. So they nursed him back to health, but mostly Vio because he had more free time than Blue, and the three became friends, and Shadow lived in the castle with them. One day, some monster or mean jerk tried to kill Vio for some reason and Shadow just kind of went berserk, severely injuring the person but then regretting it, and yeah, he  saved Vio’s life.”

“Wow. that’s kind of sad.”

“I know. Took me forever to find the whole story that wasn’t over-exaggerated by some idiot who thought that Shadow killed his mom or terrorized the townspeople for fun.”

“Any facts about his role and such, like why someone would want to murder him?”

“The main reason someone might want to kill Shadow would be that he was half-demon, but that’s just kind of racist and also Hylians were pretty accepting back then. Also, Shadow was surprisingly really nice to everyone, despite him pranking people a lot. The kids loved him, too, and he played a lot of games with his powers, mostly shapeshifting. One was just walking around the castle in a different form to see who would recognize him first. I don’t think anyone would have wanted to kill him unless they really hate demons, which is pretty untrue in Hyrule. Lorulians just collectively hate demons, though.”

“Huh.”

“Actually, there were three people that hated Shadow to the depths of their being by a lot of accounts from the second murder case. The first was actually suspected for Vio’s murder, too, and Blue’s. The second was from Lorule and also, hated Shadow and all demons, and also claimed that Shadow was just plain mean as a younger child, which was a complete lie. The third just didn’t like anyone that was constantly being mean to Shadow and Vio for some… dumb… reason… that he never tells anyone the reason for, by historical accounts. There’s also a weird rumour that I think actually might be true.”

“What was it?”

“It was that Shadow and Vio were dating, but I’m pretty sure that was told by Blue, who just loves spreading gossip almost as much as Shadow, especially about Vio because they don’t get along a lot, and I guess it’s a twin thing.”

“I could actually believe that, I haven’t seen any picture or anything in the castle with Vio or Shadow that didn’t have the other nearby.”

“Yeah. Wanna do Blue next? There’s not a lot about him, either, but that’s mostly because he didn’t trust strangers.”

“Sure.”

“Okay, also, you’ve heard a lot from my Vio and Shadow lists. Twin of Vio, best friend of Vio and Shadow, son of the captain of the guard, one of the best knights despite being so young, et-cetera, et-cetera. He was known for losing his temper a lot, and when he wanted revenge or held a grudge, it was really obvious. He was also really easy to calm down before going on a rampage, usually by Vio or Red, one of the servants in the castle.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. he was also known to charge right into battle without orders, and somehow never getting an injury worse than a broken bone. Also, he was really stubborn and hated sitting still. Being bedridden because of his own stupidity in battle drove him slightly crazy. He loved keeping things clean and neat, too, and did more work than the butlers and maids did cleaning things, mostly because he didn’t let them do some work. He was also loved by kids, like Shadow, but because he loved to play with them, either rough games like play wrestling or something like dress-up with a little girl.”

“Wow. he seems to have a lot of mood swings.”

“Yeah. he was also really close to Red, more than Shadow and Vio. Red’s used to babysit Blue’s little sister, Sky, a lot.” Vaati showed Green a picture of the knight, Blue, wearing a navy hooded cloak with water designs on the edges over a dark blue outfit, an arm slung around Red, who Green realized was a lot shorter by about five inches. Red was wearing all red, the bottom of his red cloak similar to Blue’s with a flame design on the ends. Holding Blue’s other hand was a little girl with platinum blond hair like Vio’s and sky blue eyes with tan skin. She was wearing a puffy yellow dress with blue and white swirls, blue bows in her hair.

“They’re all dressed up.” Green commented.

“Yeah, I think it was at the queen’s birthday party? I don’t really know, some kind of party.” Vaati replied. “One left, Red Sage.”

“Okay, how much information?”

“A lot, none of them rumours except for, like, two, but I’ll just hit you with the basics because Red tended to overshare a lot of things about himself. First, he was the grandson of Arcy, the castle cook, and spended a lot of time in the kitchens. He loved sewing and anything to do with fire. He lit his hair on fire more than once, but not on purpose. He once participated in some type of talent show. He did fire poi, some type of dancing with, of course, fire. He won second place, too. He also loved to sing, and would do so all the time. There was a special lullaby he used to sing ky to sleep, and one or both of the twins if they couldn’t sleep,either. Mostly Vio, who had pretty bad insomnia, but also Blue, who had nightmares a lot. His personality, described by the prince, princess, and Sky after he died, was ‘sunshine in human form.’”

“Is that it?”

“Unless you want to sit here for another hour with me telling you all the stupid rumours about Shadow and everything about red, yeah.”

Green and Vaati leaned back in their chairs,noe exhausted from the fact overload. “So, why did you need all that, again?”

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

“Try me, I’ve heard some really weird things researching this castle that you don’t want to know about.”

“Okay, here goes.” Green stared at the floor. “I’ve been seeing ghost-like scenes of these kids, Red, Blue, Vio, and Shadow, just hanging out and having fun. I was really creeped out. The first was in this library, at that table over there…”

Neither of them noticed a pair of mismatched glowing eyes looking at them from behind the bookshelf.

---

A wispy, translucent figure floated from behind the bookshelf. From the waist up, he looked as he did when he was alive. He had messy purple hair, black horns sticking out of his head. His teeth were like a wolf’s, sharp and pure white. He had tan skin and mismatched eyes, one blue and the left a blood red. He had clawed hands with sharp black nails, the left holding on to the bookshelf, the right holding the hand of another ghost. The demon-like ghost had on a long-sleeve white shirt with a black short-sleeve over it.

He was frowning at the two strange boys by the fireplace, talking to each other with wide eyes. He turned to the boy whose hand he was holding, who was gesturing at the living boys.

“See? I told you so!” the boy whispered. He had platinum blond hair, two long strands on the sides of his face trailing down to where his body faded into a wispy purple tail and the rest cut short. Purple earrings hung from his pointed ears. He had pale skin and purple eyes that looked like a cat’s. He wore a light purple long-sleeve shirt and sleeveless purple robes over it. The demon ghost removed his left hand from the shelf and waved it.

“Yeah, yeah, you were right. We’ve got visitors that we don’t really want. You got me. What should we do, Vio, you’re the smart one.”

“They need to leave, Shadow, they’re unwanted here, this is our castle that we share with Blue and Red.”

A maniac grin spread on Shadow’s face.

“Well, then, let’s get to it, dear Violet.”

“... don’t call me that.” Shadow laughed.

---

[rolltidewrestlingfan4life]

THIS IS VERY LONG AND VERY PERSONAL FOR ME. YOU MAY FIND IT AN ENJOYABLE STORY. I DID NOT PLAN TO WRITE A VIRTUAL NOVELLA BUT MY HEART AND SOUL STARTED POURING.

I didn’t do this back in February but this man deserves the mention and respect. This is the man that raised me. The man I idolize. He died February 5th as I was performing CPR on him or just before. I’m happy that he had a very quick and painless death that I believe he was expecting and prepared for. This man was born in New Hampshire and took a job in the 8th grade, he never returned to school and usually worked 2 jobs 6 days a week. His family moved back and forth between New Hampshire and Vermont. He got his first car when his brother’s car broke down, his brother traded him a 48 Ford for a bicycle.He loved riding his Indian motorcycle until a car slowed too fast  in front of him and he collided and flew over the top of the car, miraculously his only injuries were cuts and knocked out teeth. In 1955, he made the decision to join the US Air Force.It would be the decision that triggered his destiny, After completing basic training he returned home to New Hampshire, gave his brother his air force ring as a momento (I have it now) and headed to Savannah Georgia where he was stationed. 

431 miles away, in a booming coal mining town deep in the country of central Alabama, there lived a teenage girl in her senior year of high school. She didn’t really care for any of the boys in her town though she would “take them from their girlfriends to prove she could” She had an aunt and uncle that lived up in the big city in Birmingham, that is..until  her Uncle joined the Army. Ironically, he was station in Savannah.

As fate would have it, the man from Alabama met the young man from New Hampshire and they became friends. One day there was a special event at the base where family was invited, the teenage girl came with her aunt to see her Uncle. In the cool twilight of the day the girl was walking outside when she saw a man sitting on a bench beneath an oak tree. The tree was huge,it had stood for many decades if not a century, the tree had wisdom in it’s soul. She stared at the young man in the distance. The sun was fading as swamp moss swayed in the breeze as the night began to overtake the day. She saw a flicker of light as the young man lit a Lucky Strike with his zippo. “he looks just like Elvis Presley” she thought. Something in the breeze made her sneeze, try as she might she could not hold it in. The young man turned at the sound and stopped in his tracks. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever saw and he had to meet her. He approached her and introduced himself, he was the young man from New Hampshire. They spent a lot of that night sitting under that mighty oak and talking about their pasts, their presents and their hopes for the future.

Not long after the meeting, the man was deployed to Morocco in North Africa. Morocco had been under French control and the locals were ready for a revolution. He was a photographer, after a battle between the rebels and the french, he would either sit on the edge or hang from a cord out of a helicopter and take photos of dead bodies, destroyed buildings. He saw a lot of things a man just don’t want to remember while he was in Africa. When he was being sent home, the airplane he was in lost an engine over the Bermuda triangle, the plane struggled but managed an emergency landing in the Virgin Islands.. after a day there, he was in the air bound for Savannah.

He was pleasantly surprised and happy to see the girl from Alabama waiting when he and his fellow soldiers stepped off the plane. They went to the movies that day. They would talk on the phone and write long love letters to one another almost daily. I have a shoebox full of these and they span a month, It was clear these two were smitten. One weekend, he decided he had to see her. He went AWOL on a Friday night and drove almost 7 hours through a state he had never seen, to a town he had never heard of. The young girl’s mother had heard about him and knew he was her brother in law’s friend, she also knew her daughter was crazy about him. She invited him in for supper and to talk and get to know the family. When bedtime came though, the young man was made to sleep on the porch. Going AWOL on weekends to spend days in her house and nights alone on her porch became a regular thing until finally, he showed up one weekend with a ring. A week later, they were married in a small church that her family had established decades ago, He was called up to serve in the Bay of Pigs but received his honorable discharge just a week before. He flew to New Hampshire and kissed his momma, got his dad’s guitar (the only thing he had left of his father) and wished his brothers and sisters well. He flew back to his new home and his new wife in Alabama. He opened his own photography studio but business was slow, there just wasn’t a demand for professional photography in this town. He took a job with the owner of a gas station/general store at the end of Main Street, he worked 6 days a week,, delivering items, repairing things and installing huge propane tanks. In 1959, he and his wife had their first child, a daughter. A little boy came in 1961. His father in law was an electrician at the huge hospital in Birmingham Alabama, he got the young man a job in the maintenance department.

He learned much working at the huge University Hospital, he learned about electricity, he learned HVAC, he learned plumbing. He watched and soaked in everything. He was a long way away from the burning corpses he photographed in Africa, or was he? September 15 1963 seemed a usual day at work. Even a slow day, He was working in the attic area of the hospital, running ductwork, secluded from people or news. Around noon he got a call to immediately go to the morgue and repair a broken light. When he got there he climbed his ladder and fixed the light. With the room now bright, he realized he had illuminated bad memories and new sorrow, as he climbed down the ladder he looked down upon the charred and burned bodies of four young innocent girls. One was completely decapitated, barely recognizable as a human, another had metal embedded in her head. He could not fathom what he was seeing, he did not know what he felt. He only knew his heart was broken. He found out later these girls were murdered. The church they were attending sunday school at was bombed, an act of racism in the deep south in 1963. He hated it. This man never liked seeing someone innocent hurt or suffer. He also never saw color, he saw people for being decent or not. He was a part of history that day, however small a part it may have been.

After 5 years of working at the huge hospital in the magic city, he was told of a new, smaller hospital being built. It was closer to home and they were paying more to attract employees. He started in maintenance and engineering the day they hospital opened in 1964. Two months later, the director of plant operations resigned, this position was 3rd in command of the whole hospital and responsible for overseeing engineering, maintenance, and security. At only 26 years old,he was shocked when the position was offered to him. He accepted without hesitation. He was a nervous wreck but it fueled him. His wife took a job at the same hospital.

In 1982, his first grandchild was born, His son had a daughter. A grandson followed in 1984. In 1989, his daughter had her only son. To the man, there was something different about this kid, maybe it was his father not being around, maybe it was fate but the man decided he would mold this kid and raise this kid. He was closer to this kid than the other grandchildren. He fell in love with that baby and as he grew that baby became a kid and loved that man too. From then on out, they were absolutely inseparable.. I am that kid. We would ride dirt roads while Alan Jackson or George Strait, George Jones and Merle Haggard blaring on the radio. I was always the flashlight man. Deep in a dark crawlspace holding it while he worked on electrical wires.. just as he did I was watching, I was learning, I was soaking in his knowledge like a sponge. We would ride the country roads on the weekend, stopping at every yardsale and junkyard we’d pass. Oh, how I loved when we’d burn brush or leaves and watch the fire. We’d go fishing and somehow there was always a venomous snake and he always killed it with a wooden handle floating fishing knife. I still have that knife today.

His father in law had passed in 1984 and his mother in law’s health was failing, His wife retired early from the hospital in 2001 to take care of her. Her aunt and the Uncle that had arranged their meeting way back in Savannah were also gravely ill, she moved them in too. He kept working at the hospital,He was the man that made that place run. His mother in law passed in late 2001. In 2003, her uncle passed away. It had come full circle. He had made it possible for them to meet and they had returned the favor by caring for him, her aunt followed him in death shortly after.

By this time, his granddaughter had two daughters and he and his wife had been through a lot caring for 3 bedridden people for 3 years. When he received word that the huge hospital in Birmingham he had left 40 years ago was taking over the hospital, he retired. For the next 19 years, It was yard sales, brush fires, and working on houses. I was grown but I was still a kid, still watching his every move, still his helper, still his flashlight man. In 2017, he suddenly grew weaker. He still worked and pushed himself as hard as he could but something was wrong. He knew it. He just didn’t know what. Through 2018 I became the main repairman, he just couldn’t do it anymore. His leg and back had great pain. He lit the pilot light with me and all but collapsed as we exited the basement. His legs had grown week and just gave out on him. Later that day I had to repair something in the attic, I will never forget him saying “I’m sorry, I’d help you if I could, I’d even just hold your flashlight but I gotta say in my chair right now, you know what you’re doing son.” Neither of us spoke it, but that was a powerful moment.. He had called me son. All of my life, I never saw him as my grandad, though I did call him Papa. I called him dad from that day forward. Later that year, I bought a fuel pump for his truck, I love that truck. I bought new tires and got it running. When he saw it running, he told me “You did a good job getting her going son, take care of YOUR truck.” He knew he had grown old, his memory had began failing, his legs weakening. He had passed his role as the fixer around three houses, and he had passed his truck to me.

Through 2018 most of our time together was spent in his den, him in his recliner, me on the couch, nana in hers. We watched NASCAR, we watched every Alabama football game together, when nana was gone.. me and Papa would watch reruns of Gunsmoke, and Mash. He passed out at a store in late 2018 and was admitted to the hospital, all the test revealed nothing wrong, they attributed the pain to a nerve. On February 4 2019, He really wanted a haircut to the point the barber had to stay late to wait for us. It was a 15 minute drive to the barbershop and he and I talked, we talked about memories, we talked about friends who had died, and family who had died. His memory was sharp as a tack that day. On the way home, I asked him why he was in such a hurry for a haircut.. He reached over and put his hand on my knee, gave me a gentle pat.. his eyes.. the same eyes that had seen dead bodies in Africa, burnt little girls dead in alabama, that had seen 60 years of a wonderful marriage, 2 children, 2 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren, those same eyes looked at me. There was a focus yet a distance in them as he answered “I just felt like I needed to look good for tomorrow.”

The next morning, I woke up around 7 as usual and walked next door to their house, he wasn’t awake yet. He had started sleeping in, or just laying in the bed. It had gotten to where by the time he got up and got dressed, his legs were so weak he had to lay right back down. I got my coffee and visited with my grandmother a while and refilled my cup and went home. A couple hours later I had the strongest urge to go see him, as I got up I noticed my coffee cup was full. “He’s probably not up yet, I’ll wait until all my coffee is gone then I’ll see him.” That was a decision I will always regret.

Maybe 30 minutes later, As I was listening to the The Rolling Stones through my headphones, I heard the sound of my little cousin screaming. She was outside running toward my house just screaming help and crying at the top of her lungs. I ran outside and she yelled it’s papa. The whole world became a blur. I knew nothing. Nothing was familiar. It was so fast yet so slow. All I knew was I was me, and he was him. I loved him. He was my life and I was his. I had to get ti him. I ran faster than I ever dreamed I could, I didn’t even notice doors or steps.. Though I had to have somehow seen them. Everything was blur. I was here, he was there. It felt like an hour but it was really less than a minute. I got to him. There he was, laying on his back in front of his bedroom door. As soon as I saw him, his words about his haircut the day before played in my mind. I knew he was gone. He was my Papa, my dad, my friend, my teacher, my everything. I had to try and bring him back. I immediately started cpr. 911 advised me to do mouth to mouth as well, when I did, I tasted blood. I never stopped cpr. I knew je was gone. In that moment, his kid finally became a man. I felt different, I finally felt just like him. My Mind 2 months later is still in the floor with him. Today, I let that go. He would want me too. He would say sometimes, well we tried everything.. that thing just can’t be fixed. A couple nights ago I had a dream, so vivid. It was an exact replay. I was over his body desperately performing CPR, suddenly, in the dream.. he appeared and pulled me away from his own body. It was clear this was his spirit as he put his arm around me and hugged me and said “It just gave out on me, you tried everything, that old thing just couldn’t be fixed.” He lived an amazing life. The world will not remember nor remark him but today I celebrate him. I celebrate him for going from an 8th grade education to an air force photographer to spending 40 years as director of engineering at a hospital. I celebrate him for being a rock who always helped his family or those in need.  I celebrate him for picking me. It’s no secret I was his favorite. He never tried to hide it, not to spite the others. This man loved all of his grandchildren equally.. There was just something different with me. It was like we were twins. We were just inseparable. I write all this to celebrate him and to let him go. My mind must stop trying to bring him back. He lived his life and he is now free from pain and a failing body. He is learning all the mysteries, he is getting all the answers so that he can teach me when I get there. I love you so much Papa, your soul is in heaven, but your spirit is in me. I see you in my eyes, I wear your belt buckle and I use your tools. I drive our truck. Your fingerprints are everywhere. It’s okay that you’re not here in your body. You’ve left a mark on everything. You will always be alive in us. I wish you had lived until I had children, I know you liked the young lady I wish would be mine.I can’t wait until I do have children and I can tell and show them all about their amazing Papa. 

Heaven needed a jack of all trades engineer, they got you. Have fun up there, I’ve got it down here, I learned from the best and you taught me well. I will take care of nana, the houses and the rest of the family and hopefully one day I’ll do what you did and move and marry the girl of my dreams. I hope you get to watch my life from up there, and I hope I make you proud.

-JLM

[iammarylastar]

Hi guys! Here’s my new fanfic, “Hope” sequel of “Morning Cup”. Enjoy!

1. Back from the dead.

I’m dead. The second I opened my eyes, I knew I was dead. My first thought was for Angie. The second was for my brothers. All dead like me I assumed. Glancing around me once the blur has left my eyes, I remember thinking that Heaven really looked Japanese styled.

Wood frame ceiling, thin walls made of paper, through which the light can pass, braided straw-covered floor, like tatamis, a single flat square cushion next to me. No furniture. I’m lying on my back on some sort of thin mattress, directly set on the floor.

My body is hard as stone, I’m totally unable to move. I’m dead, so it makes sense, though I would have assumed that it would have felt more… light and free. I may be in Heaven but all my body hurts like hell. What’s sure is I’m seriously wasted.

The door carefully slides to the side, a woman, some kind of Geisha pads silently towards me and kneels next to where I lay. I didn’t know Heaven had nurses. She’s quickly followed by a grumpy-looking doc, wrapped in a kimono instead of a white coat, his face as closed of as a stone.

Heaven’s medical staff aren’t very friendly. The Geisha is expressionless too but her glance at me is nice and warm. She wets a cloth in some water filled bowl laying there and starts to gently pat my face, which feels delicious. I feel as dry as the desert, my skin rough, thin as cigarette paper, my lips cracked and bleeding.

Life creeps back through my system as she squeezes the cloth over my mouth. Water.

How funny it is. The water that killed me is bringing me back to life.

Wait. Life? Am I actually alive?

The woman wets the cloth again and attacks my torso. I startle at the coolness of the water running down my sides and she glances at me before focusing back on her task.

She softly whispers something I can’t understand. Heaven’s official language sounds like Japanese.

Holy shit.

I’ve fallen into the hands of the enemy. I’m not dead but I suddenly wish I was.

As I realize this, the female Yakuza starts to torture my chest, no doubt they want me to spit out some classified information.

An dreadful burn tears up my chest, like I’m branded, stabbed by a red hot iron that slowly dissolves my flesh.

I try to sit up but the sharpest pain comes from my back, my left leg howls as well. My arms yell from pain and get weak, barely able to support me. They give up and I fall heavily on my back, sending another wave of fire in my lower back. What the hell?

“ Jitto shite!” The doc barks, before he sharply gives orders  and vanishes, leaving me alone with my torturer.

I’m half paralyzed, skinned alive, defenceless before that monstrous punisher… who … shyly flats her delicate hand on my shoulder, soothing me with Japanese gibberish.

Seeing the panick on my face, she cups my cheek and for once stares fiercely at me.

“Remain still. It’s alright.”

Her voice is soft, her English hesitant, her accent… exotic.

“Where am I? What happened? Who are you?” I have so many questions: why the fuck am I unable to move? What’s that pain, those pains all over my body? How did they find me? Where is Angie?

“ You hurt. Bad leg. Back broken. Cuts infected. Got fever.”

Damn that doesn’t sound good.

“ I’m Mikomi. Japanese for hope. I’ll help you.”

She resumes patting my face with the cloth then supports my neck and brings a cup of water to my mouth. It hurts like hell but it feels so good at the same time. I drop my head back to the pillow, exhausted by just taking few sips.

“I’m Cup. Thank you.”

“ You Gaijin.” She rolls her eyes, trying to figure out how to translate it. “ Alien.”

“Yeah, I feel totally like an alien.” I chuckle.

As Mikomi goes on cleaning up my wounds, humming whatever Japanese song and I surrender to the pain and the exhaustion and quickly drift into a deep, solid sleep.

****

I get used to my daily routine, Mikomi proves to be an excellent nurse.

Each day, she expertly massages my legs, stretches and moves them, applies some plaster of whatever mud on my scars, and checks on the stitches she made. She even pins what seems like needles everywhere on my skin, which really calms both my nerves and my pain.

What I can’t get used to is that fucking weakness that keeps me bedridden.

My leg is broken and secured in a sort of bamboo splint, which she removes then ties again between treatments.

My abdomen and chest are ruins, a mix of cuts and burns from both the crash and my journey in the ocean. Through the saltwater kept me from infections, it affected the wound healing by literally eating my flesh and skin, moreover, I’m severely sunburned.

But the worst is my back. It might be broken as well but there’s no hospital nor X Rays here. What’s certain is that it hurts like hell each time I try the slightest move or cough. I’m so lucky my spinal cord is fine, no paralysis just a few sensitivity issues.

Mikomi has always been sweet and patient with me. She has never complained when she had to clean… my mess. I hate being as impotent as a sick old man and unable to relieve myself in the appropriate place. But she always appears when I need her and vanishes as fast as a ghost when I need some privacy. And never makes me feel like shit when she washes me like I’m a baby or carefully turns me on my side. Yeah I even can’t roll on my sides by myself.

She also has been a quite good teacher and I ’ve been a lame student. I got bored to just wait for her to have the job done. All I was able to do was to stare at her and her hands taking care of me, which made her uncomfortable.

At first, I just hissed in pain, biting my lips or grunting low when she unwillingly hurt me, she always answered by looking down and whispering apologizes. “Gomen nasai.” was my first Japanese lesson. No need to be sorry, you’re just saving me. Arigato Mikomi . Gratitude.

Slowly, I tried to talk to her. Asking about basic words, various items surrounding us. I really tried my best to repeat her words but I failed miserably, eliciting discreet smirks from her.

Japan is the country of manners and courtesy, every attitude and behaviour is strictly codified, as tight as their kimonos.

Laughing at someone is strictly forbidden. Touching someone you’re not married to, speaking with someone you don’t know, and a shitload of other things are strictly forbidden. Basically, as a Gaijin, I am the main source of prohibition. It seems, though, as an injured man, I’m tolerated and as my personal nurse, Mikomi is allowed to spend time with me.

I quickly start to enjoy the time we spend together. I needed to talk to someone and Mikomi is the easiest person to talk to. Mostly because Japanese never would cut you off or make you understand you’re boring as fuck.

I’ve made little progress in Japanese but I’ve helped her to improve her English.

I manage to make her laugh, tricking her as much as I could, struggling with those fucking chopsticks -sorry the sacred hashi -, making unforgivable mistakes with the food.

That day I was finally able to sit up on the futon, I was taught the right and only way to use hashi . There are billion of rules to use them correctly, rules to hold the bowl, rules to pick up the food, rules to drink the soup. I broke all the rules the first time I ate all by myself, and ended up with noddles stuck on my chin, which had my so serious teacher in tears. I think past 8 years old, Japanese stop laughing, so it has been a decade that she hasn’t laugh.

She’s beautiful with that smile lightening her face. She’s beautiful when she sings for me, distracting me from the pain while nursing me. She’s so cute trying to repeat new English word. She’s so cute hiding her smirk behind her delicate fingers each time I joke with her. She’s so patient repeating over and over the same Japanese words that I keep mispronouncing. She’s so patient, listening again and again my rant about Angie, my love, my wife, my baby, all I lost in the crash. My whole life ruined in a blink of an eye.

She’s so cold, her Japanese impassible mask taped on her face, when her dad watches over us. She’s so warm when she lays her eyes on me, when she strokes the side of my head, as I cry for my lost love, as I dive so deep into desperation and pain.

Mikomi slowly becomes my everything.

It’s been more than two months since I’m stuck in that room. More than two months that I haven’t seen the sunshine. Mikomi has been my daily sunshine.

Today has started particularly bad. The nightmares that have haunted me from the beginning trended to decrease as time passes. But not tonight. Once again, Angie and I were walking in the meadow, our hands tightly intertwined, our happiness palpable, indestructible. And once again, she was slowly vanishing, becoming transparent to my sight, inconsistent to my touch. All my screams were in vain, the more I called her name, the more I begged her to stay with me, the more she turned into dust, until the slightest piece of her was blown away by the wind.

I woke up in sweat, in tears, that unsustainable pain tearing my heart apart. Mikomi was already by my side, shushing me, while my hand crushed her tiny fingers.

“Angie, no!”

It’s early in the morning, a shy light pierces through the paper walls, hitting her long, black, straight hair. It’s not tied in a complex and strict topknot, but simply cascading around her face.

Oh my sweet Angel, take me with you. I’m too exhausted. I can’t move. I can’t walk. How could I come back to you?

“Angie…” my hand cups her cheek, I’d give anything to feel her lips on mine. I’m so down. Man down. It’s over.

“Morning Cup!” Angie’s voice caresses my ears, making me startle.

Jesus, I just realize my memories of Angie are fading away, her sweet and delicate features changing into Mikomi’s.

No, no, no, it can’t happen. I can’t let this happen. I have to go, I have to fight for her, I spent my whole life  fighting for her, I won’t stop now.

“ I’m sorry I have to go” I sit up, hissing from pain.

“Don’t move.” She gently pushes me back on the futon.

“Ika sete! ” Let me go! I yelled. I yank at her furiously, I don’t know where this rage comes from but I feel like I can walk on the water, if Angie stands the other side.

She falls back on her butt, her long hair curtaining before her face, her kimono opens on her bare thighs.

God, stay away from me, I’m out of control.

I have to get up on my feet and run. Run back to my love. Run away from those feelings I can’t let in.

I roll to my belly and try to sit up on all four. My back is instantly stabbed by thousands swords and I bite back a grunt. Fuck it, I’ll make it, I’ll stand up, come what may.

I grab what can be called a nightstand and lean over it, trying to lift my ass up to put my good foot on the floor.

Mikomi comes behind me and tries to stop me. “Not now. You’re not ready.”

I don’t give a shit about her advice, I need to stand up, I’m going to.

I grab her shoulder and lift myself up. My back roars in pain, fuck, I grit my teeth harder and manage to straighten my leg. Half up, half bowed down, crushing my weight on Mikomi, with all the force I can gather, I stand up, back on my feet for the first time in months.

I scream under the effort and the agony of all my muscles and spine, before bursting into laughter, the endorphins flooding into my system. I’m turning hysterical, mad with pain, crazy with joy. I made it. Angie I made it for you!

I clumsily turn to face her, she should be so proud of me, I want to see her joy shining in her eyes, I need to hear her voice congratulating me, I crave to kiss her lips, the ultimate payoff to all my effort and pain.

I cup her cheek, my thumb running along her full lips and look up at her. Her almond shaped eyes are dark, terrified. Mikomi.

What the fuck?

Losing balance, I lean on my broken leg, a shot of pure pain explodes through my knee. A bright flash blinds me as the pain devours my back. My good leg gives up and I heavily crash down, atomized by a new, fresh, powerful wave of pain. I hear Mikomi screaming in the distance as I puke out sour bile coming from my stomach.

I may have passed out for a while. All I know is that I’m crying. I’m weeping from agony and desperation. I want to vanish in a pool of tears, I want to stop thinking. It hurts too much to fight for you Angie, I just can’t anymore. I’ve tried and I failed.

Mikomi is rocking me lightly, my head in her lap, her fingers running through my hair and stroking my face. She’s singing that song, the one that soothes me. She’s crying with me, she’s crying for me. And it’s slowly killing me.

@dreamersdreamlife @narfea @smartieblue22 @bookgirlsthing

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[ao-no-exorcistfanfiction]

Mating Season

Requested by anonymous

Warning: Slightly mature

Pairing: Half-Demon!Y/N and Yukio

Being half demon definitely had its perks. The heightened senses, the improved strength and agility, the elemental powers, etc. But with the good, also came the bad. The constant fear of losing your humanity, everyone being afraid of you, and the tail could be pretty obnoxious at sometimes. Oh... And then there was mating season. 

Neither you nor your best friend, Rin (who was also half-demon), had known about this situation until you had both turned 18. At first, you both thought you were dying. It was only when Mephisto informed you of what was going on that you began to calm down. 

Essentially, once every year, demons enter what is called the mating season. It usually only lasts anywhere from half a month to a full month, but during this time, their brains rewires themselves to only focus on procreation. The goal is to carry on the demon’s bloodline; a task so important that some would even kill for it. 

Thankfully, being only half demon meant that the symptoms were nowhere near as bad. Basically, during mating season, half-demons just developed super high and super needy sex drives. 

This was posing a problem for both you and Rin.

Rin was, unfortunately, single at the time and had no one to spend the season with. Well... Except for his hand, but he was not looking forward to that.

You, on the other hand, had the opposite problem. You were in a relationship. Your boyfriend was actually Rin’s brother, Yukio. But... You hadn’t told him about mating season and how it was going to affect you. The two of you had been pretty chaste for most of your relationship, and now you had to tell him that you were basically going to want to ravish him for the next month.

He took the news surprisingly well. His eyes widened a bit when you told him, but other than that, he was nothing but supportive.

“Are you sure it’s going to be ok?” you asked, worry coloring your tone.

“I’m sure it will be,” he comforted. Then he smiled and joked, “Just know that I will still put my work above your ‘needs’.”

You smiled and joked back, “Deal.”

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The symptoms started out pretty faint. First came the fever, leaving you bedridden for a few days. Then came the food cravings. You had to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t pregnant, you were just half-demon, this was normal. Then came the mood swings; one second you could be laughing your head off, then crying your eyes out the next. Finally, the urges began.

It was almost like a switch flipped in your brain. One second, you were just hanging out with Yukio, the both of you working, when you looked over at him and felt an animalistic desire flood through your body.

You stood up, abandoning your work and moved so that you were standing behind Yukio’s chair. You knelt down and wrapped your arms around him.

He greeted you by kissing your hand but continued to focus on his work. You knew what was about to happen, so you asked, “How important is it that you get that work done today?”

“It’s not imperative,” he answered, “But realistically, I’d prefer to have it done today. Why?”

“Because I think mating season just started,” you replied before placing a few kisses along his earlobe. 

You felt him stiffen beneath your arms. “Oh,” was his only response for a moment. Then he turned and caught your lips in a kiss that knocked the breath out of you. When he pulled back, the hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth. “I guess we should do something about that then.”

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: NMNL April 20

DX I’m semi-bedridden today. I’m not feeling very well, but I really wanted to get this done and I thought maybe it would take my mind off of it.

“Spring is coming! In Japan the season of cherry blossoms and around the world, the season of Easter, colorful flowers, and cute animals. No matter where you are, we got you covered with cute, practical, and fun Japanese & Korean beauty products inspired by Spring and Easter!“

Glam Gift and Contest Prize

Compared to our usual contents, I felt like both of these sets were kind of... boring/subdued. They’re not cute or really decorative, but I like how they were made to represent the cherry blossom aspect of Spring.

Horoscope

This month, the horoscope recommends makeup looks or cosmetics for Spring:

Aries - Red lipstick

Taurus - Dewy skin

Gemini - Glitter eyeshadow

Cancer - Orange/Coral makeup

Leo - Soft pink makeup

Virgo - Nude makeup look

Libra - Glossy lips

Scorpio - Artistic makeup look

Sagittarius - Pink blush

Capricorn - Colored eyeliner

Aquarius - Orange lipstick

Pisces - Lavender eye-shadow

For anyone unfamiliar with my blog, I’m a Libra :P I think I got off pretty easy, I’m not a big fan of orange/coral cosmetics.

Mirror Stickers

Our first item is this unique set of thin mirrors with a sticker backing, so you can place them on various surfaces; such as your phone, or maybe on a notebook, door, etc. They are water resistant, and each features adorable touches of My Melody.

I think this is a really cute idea x3 pocket mirrors can come in handy some times, like when you’re in a hurry. So an even smaller mirror you can virtually put on anything for any time is probably even more versatile.

Diamond Sponges

Makeup sponges can be ones best friend when applying a full makeup look, they help apply it more smoothly, and they feel nice.

You can also use them to make little squishies if you don’t plan on using them for that purpose :3

FGO x Sanrio Lip Gloss & Momocos Cheek Lip Cream

Our pair of cute cosmetics, first up is another item from the Fate Grand Order x Sanrio collaboration set. If you’ve seen my past reviews, you might recognize it, we’ve had two other pieces so far. There are 6 variations of this product, based on each character. 

So... basically, all I could say is that this is cute. I really like the packaging and design, but in my honest opinion the actual product is kind of a letdown. It has no scent (not a good one anyway), it’s pretty sticky on the lips, it feels very generic. But the brush feels nice on the lips and it does it’s job, and there actually was a tiny amount of colorant.

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Our other item in the picture is from momocos, a brand that started to pop up two years ago I think. This is a lip and cheek cream product, available in 4 different shades: Cocolon Pink, Varity Orange, Birthday Red, and Talk Talk Pink.

I like the concept of lip and cheek items, but they have a hard time working for me. I either get a color that doesn’t look good, or the product itself won’t apply smoothly, I guess because of my dry skin. But I was pleasantly surprised to see how much I enjoyed this one. The color I got is Cocolon Pink, which is nearly reaching a coral-ish tone and I feel unsure if it’s really for me still, but I don’t hate it. I also think it makes a cute cheek color when thoroughly blended. My skin also doesn’t feel like there’s anything on it, and it doesn’t seem to be patchy or anything.

I’d recommend one of these if you can find it in a color you like.

Nemune Bath Powder & Rabbit Sheek Mask

It’s been a while since we got a bath powder/Nemune product, and this one was produced specifically by a scent expert to combine the lovely scents of lavender and citrus, with the intent of calming one before bed to endorse a restful nights sleep.

Sounds lovely, and I don’t doubt that because I really liked their lavender powder I got a while back. But, I didn’t want to open this before using it so I didn’t just yet. The thing is, I prefer to take baths or showers in the morning, and I feel that something like this might not be the right thing to use at such a time. I might try a foot soak or something with it one of these nights though, I think that would be equally nice given this winter weather.

- - - -

Our other item is an adorable pink bunny face mask, made to help control sebun, reduce or keep away wrinkles, and soothes the skin. It features a cute bunny design and has a lovely scent; it’s one that I often bring up, but I can’t identify it.

A typical face mask I’d say. But I really liked it, it was not only fun to wear but it smelled good, and besides being a bit of a pain to unfold, it stuck to the skin very well and left it feeling smooth~

Tony Moly Egg

Our next item is one I’ve seen before, but I never would have considered trying it if I didn’t get it in the box. There are 2 types available, either the Pore Steam Balm or tightening cooling pack. I got the pore steam balm, which is infused with charcoal powder and sea salt to purify the skin from dirt and blackheads, along with vitamin E and egg yolk extraction for hydration. All you do is apply it for 3-5 minutes, then as it turns white you wash it off.

It has a lovely citrus scent, call me silly but I was a little antsy about using egg products, since I don’t really like eggs much (except for egg sushi, that’s really yummy~), but from what I’ve heard/seen, these don’t usually smell like egg at all. Thank goodness.

I really like the design x3 it’s pretty cute how they made the yolk part the lid. The dryness of my skin worsens during winter, so I have to put more care to try lessening it. It made my skin feel very good, especially when I used it prior to this next item.

Miracle Egg Sleep Pack

Firstly, I just want to say that I fell in love with this packaging! Doesn’t it look cute and fun?

This is a product from the brand Lassie’ El, and you get 2 of them to use per-pack. It’s very simple to use, you just loosen the little built-in spoon and mix the gel and cream inside together, then you apply it to your face. You don’t even have to rinse it off because it soaks into the skin.

I like using night products like this, they’re a lot of fun x3 I have one based around bubble tea that you mix the product and bubbles together and apply, but I tend not to use it too often because I don’t like how my face sticks to everything. I’m also not big on having to rinse it off, it’s always been something that I don’t particularly enjoy doing.

Anyway, that wasn’t an issue with this one! I was very surprised by how unsticky it actually was after I applied it, my face wasn’t making my pillow sticky or anything. It also has a very perfumey sort of scent that I love! I have something in this scent, but I couldn’t exactly recall what it was.

I’d seriously recommend these last two products!

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I liked everything, it was really fun and/or cute. There was maybe one item I wasn’t entirely satisfied with but that’s pretty much it.

Theme: 3.5 out of 5. A couple of the items featured Eastery things, like bunnies and eggs. I’d also say that the non-related items featured cute colors, which goes with Easter too. But I think maybe they could have done a smidge better.

Total Rank: 9 out of 10. Other than some slight improvement to the theme matching with the items I feel like this box was really good! We had a nice bit of variety in the content, everything essentially works, I recommend a lot of things but the two egg items would definitely be an extreme recommendation!

Also, it turns out I was right. Now that I’m finished with this, I don’t feel sick anymore x3 so I won’t have to spend my day in bed like I thought~