#and I am conflicted because I don't want money to be

[pretzel-box]

STREAMER AU MASTERLIST HERE

CHAPTER 6: I AM RIGHT AND I HAVE WON

tags: I don't know how to tag this? Painter exposes Allison?

words: 4k

authors note: I am not happy with how I wrote it, I blame the lack of a laptop.

In the span of three weeks, moved five individual people in five individual places.

Sebastian was the first,

After Allison had exposed his roommate a week ago, he was confused, angry and somewhat surprised. The man found himself glancing at everything that was connected to you, the bedroom door, the empty work desk, the chinese takeout shop and most importantly the second helmet for his bike.

This particular helmet wasn't really yours but you wore it so much in the past that it was basically owned by you.

Those little things conflicted him dearly, since he was sure, even with your weird love-hate friendship, did you both co-existed pretty well.

Yet, even as those small reminders tugged at him, Allison's words kept looping in his mind.

They set you up, you know that, right? she had said, her voice laced with feigned concern. All this time, they’ve been playing you—just so they could stay close to Solace. You're just a pawn.

Sebastian couldn't shake it off. The idea that you, the person who had shared his space and a fragile, weird friendship with him, might have been using him gnawed at him. He hated how much it made sense. Allison had laid it out perfectly—too perfectly, in hindsight—but in the chaos of everything, it sounded believable.

The constant replay of that accusation left him uneasy, and now every memory was tainted with doubt. The late-night laughs, the casual banter, even the tension that always bubbled beneath the surface. Was all of that staged? Was your connection to him just a ploy? He didn’t want to believe it, but Allison’s words had already planted the seed.

And then there was the part that unsettled him the most.

According to Allison, you loved him, in a way that bordered on obsession. She had claimed that every time you looked at him, it was with a deeper attachment than he’d realized—something beyond friendship, beyond even the regular crush. It was an unhealthy fixation. He was the center of your world, and it had all been hidden behind the mask of your chaotic yet comfortable interactions.

Sebastian felt conflicted. He hadn't noticed anything like that before. Sure, you had your quirks, but it never crossed his mind that it went that deep. Maybe he missed it because he'd never seen you in that light.

But that’s where the real problem lay—what he didn’t know was that Allison’s words were a lie, carefully crafted to make him doubt everything. You didn’t love him in that unhealthy way, and you’d never set him up. But the damage was done. The seed of doubt had been planted, and Sebastian was starting to wonder if everything between you had been a game all along.

Sebastian only found comfort in a single person right now, his best friend.

He swung his leg over his bike, secured his helmet, and drove off to visit his friend once more.

The second was Mama Solace.

Sebastian’s mother had finally found the time and money for a much-needed vacation, and it just so happened to be close to her son. A coincidence? Perhaps not. She loved Sebastian fiercely, more than life itself, and it was time once again to remind him of that with one of her unexpected, affectionate visits.

The last time she had dropped by was when you first moved in, becoming Sebastian’s roommate.

Oh, how she adored you from the moment she laid eyes on you. You had all the qualities she dreamed of in a partner for her son—sweet, caring, and just the right amount of fierce. She saw the connection between you two right away, even if Sebastian refused to acknowledge it. In her mind, you were already the perfect match for her precious boy. You had no idea just how often she'd drop hints, trying to nudge Sebastian toward you, much to his exasperation.

But that was Mama Solace—she loved to meddle in the most loving way possible. This visit would be no different.

She sat in the comfort of the plane, ready to depart from her home country to meet you two again.

The third person was Allison.

She darted around a local clothing store, her father’s credit card clutched in her manicured fingers like it was a divine gift. Her gel nails clicked against the plastic as she browsed the racks, the shopping spree a temporary balm for the simmering rage she felt toward you. Her irritation with you had long passed the point of tolerable, and only the thrill of buying something new could calm her nerves.

How dare you disrupt her carefully laid plans? All you had to do was stay in your lane, accept your role, and everything would have gone smoothly. But no—you had to get in the way, threatening the perfect web of control she thought she had spun. The plan had been flawless, but now, with every step you took, you were messing it all up.

Sebastian, thankfully, was still in the dark about everything. He was too distracted, too wrapped up in his own confusion to see the truth right in front of him. But that was fine with her. Allison believed she held all the cards. She had you, Sebastian, and the whole situation under her control—or so she thought.

She smiled to herself, picking up a striking red dress—perfect for her next date with Sebastian. The fabric would hug her in all the right places, showing off her figure. In her mind, it was only a matter of time before he saw her the way she pretended to see him, and this dress would be another step toward that.

As she stepped up to the cash register, her confidence faltered when the cashier swiped her card and it declined. Her father was still furious with her, apparently. She gritted her teeth in frustration, but quickly smoothed over her expression. She wasn't about to let this minor inconvenience ruin her day.

Without missing a beat, Allison pulled out her phone, her fingers dancing across the screen like it was second nature. She knew exactly how to handle this.

"Hey, handsome," she texted, her words dripping with flirtation. "Mind helping your favorite girl out?~"

It was easy—too easy, in fact. She had gotten used to manipulating situations to her advantage, and she was confident Sebastian would give her money. He always did.

Then there was Painter.

While Allison paid with Sebastian’s help and strolled out of the shop, Painter quietly entered his own—at the other end of the city center. Today, the usual sleek black suit made from expensive cotton was left in the closet. Instead, he wore a casual outfit: thrifted brown pants, a simple white shirt, and a green checkered vest that his mother had picked out for him years ago. He never liked it at first, but eventually, he came to admit—green was definitely his color.

Dressed like this, Painter looked like any other trendy, laid-back guy. You'd never guess he was the heir to Urbanshade, one of the most powerful companies around. His father had been grooming him for years to take over, especially after Painter managed to graduate from Yale with top honors. He was the pride of the family—a model Ivy League student, exactly as his parents had always hoped for.

But unlike his friend Sebastian, who lived by his own chaotic set of rules, Painter was always one of those people who excelled in everything, effortlessly. To the outside world, he was the golden child, the genius destined for greatness.

Yet for Painter, it was all a curse. His intelligence, his success—it only weighed him down, shackling him to a future he didn’t want. His heart was never in the world of business, but his family couldn't see that. To them, he was the prodigy who would continue the legacy. To him, it was a prison. The more success he achieved, the more trapped he felt.

It was why he enjoyed days like this—disappearing into the city, blending into the crowd where nobody knew or expected anything from him. Just for a little while, he could pretend to be someone else, a simple tech shop owner that tries to raise his own money to open up a small art studio instead.

While he worked, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the keys of his laptop, his thoughts inevitably drifted to you. He had seen you a few times with Sebastian in the city, always from a distance. Yet, despite never formally meeting you, he knew more about you than you could have imagined. Sebastian had talked about you often, and though Painter stayed in the shadows of your life, observing from afar, something stirred in his chest whenever he thought of you.

It was ironic, really. He was so familiar with the details of your existence, while you didn’t even know he existed. You were unaware of the person quietly watching your story unfold, aching from the sidelines. There was something about you that captivated him—perhaps it was the way you seemed to bring a kind of life to those around you, or maybe it was simply how you existed in Sebastian’s orbit.

But there was one thing that bothered him more than anything: Allison.

It pained him to know how she had manipulated your life, how she had sunk her claws into Sebastian’s world and, by extension, yours. Painter had known for some time what Allison was up to, and unlike Sebastian, he could see right through her facade.

Just like Allison, Painter had developed his own plan.

But his wasn't born out of selfishness or jealousy. It was something else—something more complex. While he hated to admit it, he wanted to find a way to cross paths with you, to help you in a way that would loosen the hold Allison had over you. And maybe, just maybe, he'd get closer to you in the process.

Though Painter’s mind was sharp, his heart was tangled in emotions he didn’t yet fully understand.

The last person who could understand Painter’s feelings was you.

You were navigating the city streets, your hands busily typing on your phone, trying to figure out where exactly you needed to go. With your streaming account temporarily banned, you had decided to get your laptop fixed—the keys were loose, and the screen was slightly cracked. The device had been with you for years, but it was clearly on its last legs. Maybe it was time for a new one, but for now, fixing it seemed like the easier option.

Eventually, you spotted it: a neat little shop with good reviews online. It seemed like the right place, and with a deep breath, you stepped inside.

Immediately, the smell of coffee greeted you. The shop had a warm, comfortable atmosphere, far cozier than you’d expected for a tech repair spot. There were shelves lined with new devices, a small selection of popular games, and a table for waiting customers. Despite the welcoming vibe, the place seemed empty—except for a young man at the counter.

He caught your eye right away, dressed in a casual yet stylish outfit that seemed effortless. His name tag drew your attention next, and you noticed something curious: an elegant name had been crossed out with a dry black marker, replaced with a word scribbled hastily over it—"Painter."

You weren’t sure what to make of him, but something about him seemed different. And without knowing it, the moment you stepped into the shop, you had walked into his world.

"Uhm, hi?" you greeted, your voice breaking the silence.

The young man behind the counter stared at you, caught off guard as if you had walked in at the worst possible moment. His eyes lingered on you for just a second too long, making the situation feel a bit awkward. There was something about the way he looked at you—almost like you had thrown him off balance. The way his gaze fixed on you, wide and a little too intense, made you wonder if you’d interrupted something.

"Oh, h-hello! Welcome, greetings. How can I help you today?" he stammered, clearly flustered. His response was a mix of polite and awkward, as though he hadn’t expected anyone to walk in. Maybe he wasn’t used to customers, or perhaps he was just an intern still getting the hang of things. Either way, he seemed utterly unprepared.

You smiled politely, deciding not to dwell on his awkwardness. "I’m here to get my laptop fixed," you explained, pulling the device from your bag and setting it on the counter. "It's been acting up—some of the keys are loose, and the screen's a bit cracked."

He nodded, though you noticed his hands were a bit shaky as he reached for the laptop. "Right, of course. I’ll take a look."

As he started inspecting the device, you took a moment to glance around the shop again, feeling oddly comfortable despite the rocky start to the conversation. There was something about him, though—his nervous energy, the way he seemed to be trying so hard to maintain a professional front. It was endearing in its own way.

What you didn’t know was that Painter wasn’t usually like this. Normally, he was calm and collected, able to handle even the most difficult situations. But the moment you walked in, something shifted. He had seen you before, from a distance, but never this close, and he wasn’t prepared for the rush of feelings he hadn’t even realized were there.

A small, unspoken crush had quietly crept up on him. He didn’t know why, but there was something about you that drew him in. And now, standing there with your laptop in his hands, he was doing his best to keep it together.

"I can take a look at it later. I’d say you can pick it back up… in like a week?" Painter offered, casting a polite smile your way. His expression was calm and professional, but beneath that exterior, his heart was racing.

You nodded, accepting his answer. After settling some details, you left your beloved laptop in his care, trusting him with the task. It felt strange to part with it, but the shop seemed reliable enough, and Painter—despite his awkwardness—seemed competent.

As you exited the store, you had no idea what you’d just set in motion.

For Painter, this wasn’t just a simple repair job. When you left your laptop with him, you unknowingly handed him exactly what he needed—the tools to execute the plan he’d been carefully crafting. Allison had been manipulating both you and Sebastian for far too long, and now Painter had the opportunity to expose her for what she truly was.

Your laptop would be the key to unraveling her schemes, and he was determined to set everything right, even if it meant crossing a few lines along the way.

Five people had already been moved. Now, it was Painter's turn to move them again, or at least some of them.

He had you exactly where he wanted. You left the shop, your laptop in his possession. That was step one. Now, he had to breach your digital privacy. He’d never done anything like this before, and the thought of doing what Allison had once done left a heavy weight in his gut. Yet, as soon as you left, he got to work. The laptop was old, practically ancient, but logging into your profile was easy—there wasn’t even a password. Your naivety was almost charming.

Everything was there—passwords, emails, data, and every digital memory. It was essentially Jelly’s—no, your—entire identity, captured in one place. He could call Sebastian, expose the laptop, and reveal his nasty girlfriend’s secrets. But no, Painter was above that. He preferred to play god.

His personality was usually against it but he will gladly bend the rules for his best friend…and his own potential crush.

Step two was breaching the streaming website to reclaim your account. A task simple enough for a Yale student with the right tools. Allison thought she'd been 'Jellycatfished,' but now it was Painter in control.

The account was exactly as you and Allison had left it. He couldn’t resist clicking on one of the stream recaps, your voice filling the room through the laptop speakers. There it was—undeniably yours.

He snatched his phone off the counter and dialed a number.

“‘Delia, bring the camera and the good microphone. We’re shooting something at the shop.” Cordelia, another worker in the store and a small-time content streamer, was known for her quirky charm. He knew she was the perfect partner for what he had in mind.

“Painter? For what?” she asked.

“We’re about to make someone a star.”

Cordelia didn’t hesitate. She was on her way, gathering the equipment for a hidden camera setup along with a quality microphone."

Next, it was Painter's turn to text Allison. He still remembered her number from when he’d seen it on Sebastian’s phone. A plan began to form in his mind, one that required precision and just the right touch of manipulation.

'Hey, Allison, right? Sebastian left a gift for you here. Here’s the address.'

He included the shop’s address, carefully typing it out before hitting send. He imagined the moment her phone would buzz, her eyes narrowing at the unexpected message. Would she hesitate, wondering if it was real? Or would her curiosity get the best of her?

Painter smiled to himself. Everything was falling into place. He wasn’t just setting a trap—he was weaving a performance, a story in which Allison would play a crucial role. Now, all he had to do was wait for the show to begin.

It was evening, and the store had long since closed, lights were out, though Painter had left the door unlocked. Everything was meticulously arranged—candles flickered softly, casting a warm glow around the room; a bouquet of red roses sat elegantly on the counter. But the centerpiece was Painter himself, dressed in an expensive, perfectly tailored cotton suit. He had spent hours preparing, adjusting his tie, combing his hair, making sure every detail was flawless. As he caught his reflection in the window, he almost didn’t recognize himself. He had never looked better.

Then, the door creaked open, and Allison stepped in. She wore a tight red dress that clung to her in all the right places, her hair perfectly styled. She carried herself with an air of confidence, as if she expected something grand—but her eyes betrayed her surprise as they scanned the room. The soft candlelight, the roses, and finally, they settled on Painter.

For a moment, there was silence as their gazes met.

"Let me introduce myself," Painter began, his voice calm and formal, though inside, the sweetness of his own tone made him sick. He forced a charming smile, the kind that was too perfect, too practiced. "I’m Painter—it’s a nickname," he added with a soft chuckle, as if trying to break the ice. "And I’m the heir to Urbanshade Corp."

He let the weight of his words linger, watching her reaction. He could see the curiosity in her eyes, the slight confusion.

"You’re probably wondering why you’re here," he continued, his voice smooth and rehearsed, like this was a well-orchestrated play.

This wasn’t just a conversation—it was a performance, and she had walked right into his scene.

"Painter? What’s going on? Where’s Sebastian?" Allison asked, her voice laced with surprise, though Painter could see she was already caught in his web.

"He’s not here. Sorry, I lied," Painter admitted, his tone smooth, but with a playful hint. He took a slow step toward her, his eyes never leaving hers. "Can you really blame me for wanting to be alone with someone so beautiful?"

He took another step, closing the distance between them.

"So... funny."

He was closer now, almost brushing against her.

"And intelligent?" His voice dropped to a whisper as he stood chest to chest with her, his breath warm against her ear.

Allison's eyes flickered with realization. The heir to Urbanshade Corp, standing so close, so eager—was he asking her out? Maybe it wasn’t so crazy to consider. A man of his status, his wealth... she could have a little fun on the side. A side fling wouldn’t hurt, right?

She placed a hand on his chest, feeling the crisp fabric of his suit under her fingers, catching the scent of his expensive aftershave. "You’re quite charming yourself," she said, her voice laced with a fake giggle designed to make men fall at her feet. But Painter played along, his smile widening.

"Oh?" he murmured, his voice dripping with charm. "Maybe you’d like to show me just how much?"

Allison leaned in, rising onto her toes to meet his height, her lips brushing close to his own, not touching yet. The tension between them was thick, charged with unspoken possibilities. For a brief moment, Painter thought he had her, that she was playing into his hands.

But then she stopped.

His lips hovered just shy of her skin as he whispered, "How much... you’re lying."

The playful edge in his tone had vanished, replaced by cold calculation. He would love to slap her, simply for cheating on his best friend. But now was hardly the time, not like this.

“You are not supposed to be his girlfriend. You are not Jelly and you don't deserve him.” His words caught her in surprise before she seemed to laugh.

“What do you know? They stole my identity! Ask Sebastian! I am the victim!” It was a poor try to defend herself.

“A victim? Another brilliant lie, congratulations. You officially make me sick.” The words were enough to set off her rage and she raised a hand to hit him, a hand that he caught in the middle of the action. “Don't you dare.”

“You know what? Fine, to hell with you. I am NOT them but it doesn't matter because everyone believes me anyways. I HAVE PLAYED YOU ALL. I GOT THE ACCOUNT BANNED. FUCK YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU STUPID IDIOTS. SEBASTIAN IS MINE AND I WON. I AM RIGHT AND I HAVE WON. I STOLE THEIR IDENTITY AND BECAME JELLYCATFISHED.”

Suddenly, the ceiling lights blazed to life, flooding the store in harsh white light. Allison blinked, momentarily blinded, as Cordelia stepped out from behind the shadows, a sly grin on her face.

"And that’s a wrap!" Cordelia announced, her voice dripping with amusement. "Great work, everyone. So authentic, Painter." She shot her boss a playful wink.

Allison’s eyes darted from Cordelia to Painter, confusion overtaking her. A second ago, she had been in control—or so she thought. But now, the anger and seduction drained from her face, replaced by a wide-eyed, flabbergasted look. She felt like a deer caught in headlights, utterly lost.

"You see," Painter began, his voice smooth but laced with triumph, "43 thousand people just witnessed your grand confession. Live and in full HD." He let the weight of his words sink in, a twisted smile forming as he saw the realization dawn in her eyes. "You’re a star now, Allison. Just like you always wanted to be."

Cordelia had filmed it all—the near-cheating, the manipulation, the confession—and streamed it live on Jellycatfished, the very platform that had become Allison’s downfall.

Painter took a step back, admiring his work. His plan had come together beautifully, every detail falling into place like a carefully painted masterpiece. He couldn’t help but applaud himself mentally for the sheer brilliance of it all. Soon enough, the lawsuit would hit Allison—public shame was only the beginning.

Outside the store, Sebastian stood frozen, just out of sight but close enough to hear everything. His phone was clenched tightly in his hand, his knuckles white with the pressure. He had seen the signs but ignored them, convinced he knew the truth. But now, as the reality of what had unfolded hit him, it was clear.

He had been wrong. And he had lost.

[intramoon]

Just my thoughts on InZoi (that no one asked for) ...

I am not a cynic but I am skeptical of any new "life simulation" games. And that's not to say I don't want The Sims to have a competitor, I think EA needs a competitor for The Sims. For the price tag of The Sims, EA needs pressure on them to address their complacency (with game content, the growing issues with paid content, etc). InZoi is far from that. At face value, I think the gameplay is unimpressive. I can understand why people are drawn to an in-depth, hyperrealistic character creation but to what end? The inclusion of AI, even if just for primarly patterns/textures, is an increasingly slippery slope. It's just for patterns ... for now, but how will AI provide shortcuts for the company in the future? That's one of my concerns and I think it's a bit shady for the company to have this feature. Any kind of AI generation has significant environmental impacts and contributes to art theft/the distribution of AI that has burdened the art community. I struggle to find a justifiable reason for the game having AI because I don’t think there is one. If you consider the computer that is needed to run a game with graphics like InZoi, the game isn’t accessible to people with “lower-end”/older PCs. An issue The Sims team had to address with the Sims 4 ie. the change in graphics and the game no longer being open world. I like that more people can play The Sims without needing a PC that is worth thousands of dollars. I keep seeing the comparison of InZoi to GTAV NPCs. As someone who has spent a lot of time playing with friends on GTAV FiveM servers, even those servers have better gameplay than I’ve seen with InZoi. Not to be funny but InZoi reminds me of those invasive 3D p*rn game ads.

The other aspect of InZoi that bothers me a little (maybe a lot) is the stark difference in how “regular” simmers are reacting to InZoi versus how some content creators/custom content creators are reacting. It’s a little frustrating for the people, even if through EA’s allotted 21-day early accesses, who make hundreds if not thousands of dollars off the community aren’t acknowledging let alone addressing the glaring concerns users have about InZoi. It seems many of them are going to brush these concerns aside for the opportunity to mod for the game (a game to me that doesn’t seem to value artists' work) and worse case scenario will jump ship to InZoi if Simblr takes issue with it.

It’s … interesting.

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[wellhalesbells]

LIAR YOU TOTALLY WATCHED ONE SEQUEL!!! 😉💜

https://www.tumblr.com/wellhalesbells/736050291745652736/friendraichu-jackironsides

HAHAHAHA, I should clarify that I just mean for super hero-y ones. I mostly watch the first one and rarely watch the second (or anything after...... or remakes, lol), I think the only Marvel one I've seen in recent history is Thor: Ragnarok. Actually, the Spider-man franchise pretty much encapsulates how I interact with Marvel properties: I saw the first trilogy because it was new and exciting at the time, then they remade it too fast and I refused to pay for something I just saw, that was so recent in my memory from the release date I could still remember exact scenes from it (THERE WERE ONLY FIVE YEARS BETWEEN SPIDER-MAN 3 AND THE REBOOT - THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN. HOW IS THAT ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYONE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN???), then I watched the first Tom Holland one (fourteen years I can vibe with) and nothing that followed because that's generally when the gimmicks and cameos start in lieu of good story-telling, or they make it dark and gritty because that's the only way to ground this superhuman, right (I assume a random white guy: "Should we fridge a lady? Yeah, we should probably fridge a lady"). The first one generally at least tries to have a soul because they have to introduce the character and make you care about them but many of the ones that follow (the few I've seen from when the MCU was just starting out and I had hope *coughs*Iron Man 2, Thor 2, etc.*coughs*) are just cash grabs that don't try because you already love this character and there they are, right there, so money please!

Meg 2 however..... EPIC, NO NOTES. It knows if I was a shark girl, I was probably a dinosaur girl and it gambled correctly. That's what you're watching this for? Have three sharks and an unnecessary (probably stupid expensive) dinosaur intro that is nearly completely irrelevant to the story but that you will also not want to live without and for an extra special bonus: oblivious husbands and their brilliant daughter. Like. You got me nailed, my dude. Will watch every subsequent sequel, no questions asked.

[harmoonix]

✨🔮Enchantress's✨ ✨Astrology Notes🔮✨ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

- Where the North wind meets the sea -

- There's a river full of memory -

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Jupiter aspecting Ascendant always gave a vibe of that new person in the crowd who has a lot physic abilities and is always spiritual gifted

🔮: Moon aspecting Venus dreams about having a perfect lovely relationship and an good spouse/partner for them. This is the aspect of an hopeless romantic

🔮: Sagittarius Venus/Venus in the 9th house + Tropical everything. Tropical parfume, Tropical clothes, Tropical vibes fits them so well

🔮: Venus in the 11th house natives have an attractive attitude. Like is something that pulls you to them, wanting to know more about them..etc

🔮: Venus in Capricorn or in the 10th house may have an issue with spending money, they either spending it fast, either they don't spend it at all

🔮: Gemini Mars can be so flirty esp in a man's chart. Is that type of chatty person who gets in everyone's conversation

🔮: When you have Libra in the 4th house you can often find yourself trying to bring peace or balance into your family and you usually avoid the conflicts

🔮: Leo in the 7th house are very loyal to their partners. They will always choose them. No matter who comes in their lives, their partners are everything

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Pisces in the 7th house, omg this placement is though when it comes to relationships because they end up getting TOO attached to their partners and cannot let the toxic ones go. Sometimes they cant even realize their partners are walking red- flags

🔮: Neptune/Saturn/Mars in the 12th house can have nightmares, sometimes those nightmares are signs undercover but is hard to realize that at the first sight

🔮: Sun/Moon in the 8th house can end up being interested into tarot/shadow work and more others because they are attracted the things that are tempting

🔮: Ascendant - Saturn aspects can be too harsh on themselves and tend to judge themselves a lot when no one is seeing them. They are hard on the outside and very soft in the inside

🔮: Aquarius Risings brings the trends. They are the trendsetters, I love their fashion sense, they are so beautifuly dressed like girly be dressing like they are going at the met Gala

🔮: Taurus Risings and their beauty is precious. They are so coquette and aesthetic, living the dream and their lives seems like a fairytale

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Mercury trine/sextile/conjunct Moon may speak always what comes through their mind, because they find it very easy to expressed themselves

🔮: Mars/Saturn in the 1st house natives are the ultimate people with the hottest bodies, their bodies are looking so good and esp if they have muscles

🔮: Why do Leo/Libra Risings have such good hair?? Like Rapunzel is nothing compared to your hair, it always seems so high at quality

🔮: Virgo Moons/Gemini Moons can be prone to having panic attack/or high anxiety. Is like their lose the contact with world when their anxiety hits

🔮: Scorpio/Aquarius and Libra Moons on the other side can be prone to overthinking a lot, they are always thinking "Do I do this wrong or right". "Am I worth it" etc.. You are worth everything don't questions yourself<3

🔮: Taurus in the 4th house natives may have the most beautiful houses ever. Is like when you walk in their house you walk in some enchanting movie

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Uranus in the 2nd house loves to spend money on themselves. If they see something they like and makes them happy they gonna buy that

🔮: Asteroid Medusa (149) in the 7th house may be the type of people with an extremely good looking spouse that everyone wants and people tend to be jealous over that

🔮: Asteroid Medusa (149) in the 1st house on the other hand are the type of people with an extremely beautiful appearance and people may find their beauty as a jealousy thing

🔮: Gemini in the 5th & 8th house/Mercury in the 5th & 8th houses. You make them excited with communication, tell them how much you love them, tell them all the sweetest things and they will fall for you

🔮: Neptune in the 1st house natives or Neptune conjunct ascendant have literally such beautiful eyes. Their gaze/stare is like an angel stares at you

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Pluto conjunct Venus is that strong that natives with such aspect can often have stalkers or people who want to know everything about them

🔮: Moon at Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°) might love to write about love, since Sagittarius can also repsent writing, they can often themselves writing about subjects they love

🔮: Aphrodite (1388) - aspecting Mercury gives an very beautiful voice, if your Mercury is in fire sign your voice will sound intense and attractive

🔮: Midhaven trine/sextile/conjunct Venus will always be a badass placement, everyone around loves you. You are loved, appreciated, charismatic everything you have it inside

🔮: Lilith - Moon aspects - This aspect is more intense, in negative aspects can be more intense, on internet these aspects are known as some of the most powerful aspects to have in a birth chart , can attract jealousy and envy

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🔮: Venus - Ascendant aspects, this aspect is literally touched by Venus herself with the beauty and talent, very artistic, very lovely and of course very beautiful

🔮: Moon or Mercury in Fire Degrees (1°, 5°, 9°, 13°, 17°, 21°, 25°, 29°) are so savage in words if you especially in a fight, they can be brutally honest aswell and can call you out for the things you did wrong

🔮: Mars in Fire Signs have a certain aesthetic that looks mesmerizing, guys do you know how hot you are? Red and bright colors suits you so good damn

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✨🔮 Good day dear darlings 🐚 I hope you have an amazing day, living your best lives and being happy with everything surrounding you 🐚🌱

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🤞🏼' Don't forget to tell yourself how much you love yourself every single day, you are worthy of good things and happiness" 🤞🏼

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

With love, Harmoonix 🔮✨

[echoofadream]

I need a part2 of the "sub!Geto Suguru x fem!dom!reader" fic🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 BTW your writing is amazing!💖

sub!Geto Suguru x fem!dom!reader

Synopsis: Geto starts feeling conflicted about his feelings for you (a non sorcerer). You make him realize some things and you both come to terms with what you feel for each other

Contains: angst (kinda), substance use (alcohol), mentions of masturbation, smut, p in v, missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, mentions of murder

Suguru was going insane. He was constantly telling himself that he hated you, that he had to hate you. You were the source of his unhappiness, you were the source of the pain of his kind. But he couldn't bring himself to hate you. He thought about killing you then immediately rushed to the bathroom and splashed freezing water on his face. It usually worked but when it didn't he'd also slap himself. How could he even think about killing you when he craved you like he's never craved anything else before?

He was crying. Laying naked on his bed, fingers wrapped around his dick and jerking it as fast as he could, twisting his hand around his shaft in a desperate attempt to mimic your moves. He never did it right. He hated it. He hated that he had no self control left. He needed it. Every time he tried to restrain himself from doing it he'd find himself humping the sheets. There was no escape. He was ashamed. He was crying because of how low he'd got for a mere non sorcerer.

The man's feelings were a complete mess. Nights like those became more and more frequent. He couldn't bare call you. There was no good excuse. You were sending him as much money as he wanted so there was no reason for him to call you and ask to meet you. But one night he did.

He didn't want his family to see him in the state he was in so he booked a hotel room and called room service for a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He almost finished half of it by 1 am which was too late to call anyone but he didn't know what time it was nor did he care. He wasn't nervous, nor ashamed, nor excited, nor nothing. He took out his phone and dialed your number. You picked up on the third call.

"Do you know what time it is?" your tired voice asked the inebriated man.

"No" he answered.

You sighed. "What do you want?"

"I don't know" you could barely hear any emotion in his tone.

"Then why did you fucking call?" you snap at him. Hasn't he ruined enough nights for you already? You were paying him, so what else could he possibly need?

You freeze when you hear his voice break. "I'm sorry" he mumbles, biting his lip as tears run down his face. "I don't know why I called you but...I need you..."

You were speechless. You knew he was fighting some inner demons the last time you saw him and the fact that after you fell asleep right after finishing having sex with him you woke up in your own bed at home and nothing bad happened to you was telling a lot. He was growing fond of me, you thought. I'm going mad about her, he thought.

"Please say something" he adds.

"Suguru..." you start but he cuts you off.

"I'm lonely. I'm so lonely. Please..."

You contemplate for a while. It was up to you to go to him or go back to sleep. He wouldn't hurt you if you didn't come and you knew it. But it'll hurt him if you don't.

You sigh. "Send me your location"

Suguru opened the door of the hotel room. His hair was loose and his robes were undone, leaving his chest and legs bare. His cheeks reddened when he saw you standing there but you weren't even looking at his body. You stepped in and closed the door behind yourself.

"How much have you drunk?" you ask once you see the empty bottle on his table.

"It doesn't matter. Tell me..." his voice cracks and his lower lip starts trembling. "Please tell me what's wrong with me...I wanna hate you. I want to...I want to wish to kill you. What have you done to me...?"

You've never been scared of him, yet you knew he was insanely strong. You always saw him as this ruthless killer who only cared about his fellow sorcerers and loathed your peers. Yet here he was, crying because he had feelings for a person he was supposed to hate.

"I'm truly sorry my mere existence in your life makes everything for you so complicated. I know you despise non sorcerers and... I'm sorry for what you've been through" you say, trying to calm him down.

"How could you possibly know what I've been through!?" he yells. He was frustrated and it was obvious. He was at war with himself and you wanted to help him. Why? Why was the desperation in his voice making something inside you ache?

"I don't know...but I can only imagine how bad it was if it made you this full of hatred"

He remains silent and keeps looking you in the eyes, trying not to show his emotions. He turns around and walks towards the bed, then sits on the edge of the mattress, rubbing his temples. You didn't know what to do, but what you knew was that you hated seeing him in that state. You slowly approached him and not so surprisingly he let you.

"Suguru..." you started as you stood in front of him, looking down at his conflicted expression. He raises his head and looks at you, red teary eyes staring right at the shape of your soul.

He wasn't a bad person. Not at all. He was broken. So broken that his mind didn't want to accept what his heart was telling him. And you hated it. You were mad at the world for hurting him. For destroying the heart of a man you barely even knew aside from his previous constant threats he made to you and the one time you slept with him. You saw how much he was able to love. You saw the kindness he was showing his family, the care he was raising his daughters with. He didn't deserve any of this pain.

You lifted your hand to touch his face and he didn't stop you. As you stroked his cheek he closed his eyes an leaned into your hand, a small hum escaping his lips. His gesture made you smile, that ache in your soul slightly fading.

"Spend the night here" he says without looking at you. You accepted.

There was something about the way the sun rays made Suguru's features look the more majestic. He looked so peaceful as he was sleeping next to you. Even when the light was tickling his eye lids, he couldn't be less disturbed. The blanket was covering his lower side, leaving his back exposed to you. Your eyes traced the scars he had received from previous fights and you couldn't help but sigh, knowing he was living a life he never wanted.

You glanced at your phone. Eleven am. It's been a very long time since Suguru last found himself still sleeping at such a time. But you knew he needed it.

You brushed one of his locks behind his ear, continuing to stroke his long hair. You weren't trying to wake him up. It just felt right. Though soon enough he starts to slowly open his eyes. He yawns and rubs them then his hand goes to his forehead, pressing on it as his eyes squeeze shut. He was hungover.

You helped him get up then sit on the edge of the bed. He was grunting every time a new wave of pain pierced through his head and you tried to soothe him by stroking his back carefully.

"Suguru...I think I have some pills on me. I'll give you one, okay?" you ask, worried about his condition. He doesn't answer, instead he just nods his head. You get up and start looking for the pillbox you had in your bag and once you found it you filled a glass with some cold tap water and gave it to him, along with the painkiller.

He doesn't waste any time before swallowing it. He wasn't cautious. No, he trusted you. Suguru chuckles then raises his head to look at you. "I could've swallowed it without the water, you know?"

You raise a brow, a smile creeping onto your face. "You're in the mood for jokes now?"

He laughs again and tries to stand up, but only manages to fall back on the mattress. He gives you a pouty look. "I figured it's better to keep myself entertained. At least this way I don't feel bad for violating my principles"

You sigh and take a seat next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I've done everything you asked of me..." you tell him. Your words piqued his interest, causing him to frown.

He turned his face towards you, giving you an ugly look. "And now what? You want me to praise you for the thing you were born to do? You want me not to feel bad that I feel...whatever I feel for a lower being?"

"Lower being?" you repeat his words, hoping he'll realize he's in the wrong once he hears them out loud. He doesn't flinch. His expression only darkens more. "How am I inferior to you, enlighten me?"

"You dare!" he snaps, struggling to get up from the bed. "I saw my friends die for you, people! And for what? So that you could keep on living and create more curses? To what? To kill us?"

"And you think that by killing non sorcerers your friends will stop hunting curses and therefore stop dying? You think you're protecting them by abandoning them, letting them grieve your defection? You're not saving anyone. You're hurting your former friends and destroying your own life. All for nothing. You can't change the way the world is. It's messed up and it's twisted as fuck but you can't change it. You'll die trying"

Silence. None of you said anything for a while. He kept staring at you, yet it seemed more as though he was looking through you. He was lost in thought. There was nothing he could've said to argue with you because, as much as he wanted to deny it, you were right. Suguru wondered where you knew so much from for a while but soon gave up on trying to figure that out. He was tired. Tired of all of this. He called you here because he needed you. He still does.

So he gets closer and sits next to you, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. It was a surprising gesture which both of you had been craving for too long. A gesture which you reciprocated.

He sighed an buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Please don't talk. I don't wanna talk. I need...time to think. But I don't want that right now"

You started caressing his back with one hand while the other was playing with his hair. It felt right. Sitting there so close to each other on a random noon. This wasn't like one of the one night stands he'd usually have in hopes of finally feeling something, in hopes of finally filling that void in his being. This was different. This is what he needed.

"Love me" he whispered.

"I do...I've always loved you"

"No" he replies. "What I meant was...make love to me"

"Ahh~ ahh f-fuckk"

He was moaning so loudly as he was thrusting into you. The sounds he was making sent shockwaves down your spine since his face was so close to your ear. He was almost laying on top of you, hardly able to hold his own weight because of the pleasure he was feeling.

"Am ahh~ i doin good ngh-ahh~" he asks, desperate for your praise. His cock was filling every inch of you, yet he was moving achingly slowly.

You caress his hair and speak gently to the man on top of you. "You're doing great, baby just mhm~ faster for me...think you can do that?"

He whines and tries to comply, but fails miserably. He was so damn sensitive. You were feeling too good around him, he couldn't even think anymore. He was happy, as simple as that. You loved him and he loved you and you were having sex right now and it felt so fucking good.

"Mhm~ love you...I love you I love you I love you...!" he kept saying it breathlessly, not to convince you of this, but because he finally felt free to accept his feelings.

You took his face into your hands and started kissing him sloppily, biting his lips and sucking on his tongue. This only made him weaker, his pace getting slower and his moans and whimpers louder.

"I'm gon-ahh gonna c-cum...!" he whimpers. "Please can I? Can ahh I pleaseee cum??"

"Yes baby yes. Cum for me"

"Nghh thank you thank you!!" he whines and soon enough you could feel his release filling you up and sliding down your ass, soaking the bed sheets.

Before he got the chance to catch his breath, you gave him an apologetic look and wrapped your legs around him, pulling him forward.

"Mhm~ n-no more! Ngh~ can't!" he whined.

You gently stroked his cheek with your thumb. "Shh pretty boy. You can, okay? You can make me cum, okay sweetheart?"

He nods as tears run down his face from the tantalizing feeling of overstimulation. He started moving his hips, every touch of your skin accompanying his moans as he tried to go faster for you.

His cock hardened inside you once more, his fat tip hitting your g spot so perfectly it made your toes curl. As you clenched around his length he started sobbing and normally you'd comfort the poor boy who was now yours but your head was thrown back on the soft pillow from the pleasure this man was finally giving you.

"Yes baby! Yes! F-fuckk you're doing g-great! Ngh-ahh good boy! Good fucking boy!"

The praise was only fueling his desire to make his lover feel good, to show his lover all the love and adoration he has for her. "Mhmm thank you ahh~ thank you so much you're making me so happy oh god!" The way you brought your knees up to your chest, allowing him to fuck deeper into you made you both lose the little lucidity you had left. The warmth and wetness of your walls along with his cum made it hard for his dick not to slip out of your cunt.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders to bring his face closer to yours so you could press your lips on his abused ones once more. "Mhm~ can't gon-gonna cum again... for you oh fuck fuck fuckkk!!"

You weren't in a better state yourself. The long awaited high was approaching your body and you didn't even get the chance to tell him. The way his cock was abusing every right spot in such a delicious way while his pelvis was rubbing on your clit during the rapid movements of his body was enough to drive you over the edge.

When you arched your back as your walls clenched around him, your head getting thrown back and your mouth making an involuntary O shape, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and shot his cum once more deep inside your pussy.

For a while the only audible sounds in the hotel room was your and his panting. He was laying on his back next to you, but both of you were looking into each other's eyes. It felt right.

"I love you..." he confesses once more.

"I love you too"

[gummilutt]

Autonomous crafting for all teen+ Sims

I've never before been so happy to share a creation! Get ready to get crafting, because it's about to get autonomous! Released today in collaboration with the wonderful @joplayingthesims who has built a community lot for the mod, seen in the pictures below. Exciting!

In my game, I have a community lot with crafting stations for Sims who can't afford one, or don't have space for one. But as I visited it recently with one of my college students wanting to learn flower arrangement, I got a bit depressed by all the empty stations and the other visitors just standing around chatting. I wondered if anyone had added autonomy, and I came upon iCad's autonomy enabler. While neat, it only adds autonomy for the active household which is the opposite of what I wanted. So I made my own that enables it for visiting Sims as well, only to quickly realize how annoying that got. All these Sims asking me to pick a recolor for them, blergh! So I went on tweaking, fixing the annoyances as they came up, and here we are! Finally it is possible to have a lively crafting studio where all Sims participate, without being annoying for you the player! Are you excited? Because I am excited!

What does the mod do? - Enables autonomy on "make many" and "continue" (see readme for more info on why not make one) for all five original crafting types - Robots, toy making, flower arrangement, pottery and sewing - Does NOT charge your Sims money for background Sim crafting. Money sounds and visuals show for all Sims, but only your current households crafting charges household funds. - By default only autonomous on community lots. Has optional autonomy on residential/apartment lots, you can enable autonomy on those lot types by placing the Autonomy Toggler object somewhere on the lot (custom object made using parts of the FT crafting clutter, found in hobbies/misc for 1 simoleon). I set it up this way as residential autonomy sounds irritating to me, but I'm all about flexibility for the user. Perhaps you want to run arts classes at your residential playable school, or you simply like autonomy more than I do :) Please note that autonomy advertisement is tuned with community lot use in mind, so it might be higher than you'd want for residential. If there's interest I am happy to make a second version with lower advertising for those who primarily want residential use. If you are somewhat familiar with TTAB edits yourself, you can try changing attenuation code to low or medium to limit advertisement distance which will reduce appeal to Sims. VER 2: Toggler object now also works on community lots, turning off autonomy if present on community lot. Residential/apartment behavior remains the same as before. - Fixes annoyances with background crafting, such as selecting recolors and pop ups about progress - Changes inventory mechanics to allow for owned studio-type use, in case you'd like a friendly owner Sim present to provide instruction. Crafting now only goes to business lot owner if done by an employee, otherwise crafting Sim gets the object. Includes home business, so if it bothered you that family members don't get to keep their work, this also fixes that. If that part annoys you, see readme for how to remove this feature.

Download mod on simfileshare | Download ver 2 on simfileshare (New version out, fixing a bug reported by Nemertes. More info here)

You might say "Okay well fun for you Gummi, but I don't have a community lot with crafting stations, so why would I need this?". Well fortunately Joandsarah has the solution for that problem! Check out the cute crafting studio she built to give all of you a place to start community crafting! Available on MTS

Conflicts: Only known conflict is iCad's original autonomy enabler, you have to pick if you want hers version of autonomy, or mine :) Readme contains breakdown of the functionality of all parts, to help you decide a load order should you encounter conflicts. It should be possible to resolve conflicts though if there are any others, so please report them to me :)

Credits: @joplayingthesims for collaborating with me and providing a lot that you can get started with if you don't have one, iCad at @dramallamadingdang for the original autonomy enabling mod, @cityof2morrow who helped playtest the mod

If anyone else builds a community lot intended for autonomous use, I hope you let me know somehow so I can add links to it in my post :) If any other modders see ways to improve on what I did, please feel free to do so :) I am hoping to eventually post an update that sends all crafting to inventory to fix the make one issue, and the station clogging that happens over time.

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: what is changing in your life this season?

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: how can i present myself in the best way possible?

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile 1

you might be meeting someone new who brings a fresh perspective or emotional depth into your life; it could be a friend, partner, and/or mentor. this is also a great time to start a new artistic endeavor; painting, writing, or crafting, which will allow you to express yourself in unexpected ways. personal growth can occur through these activities as well as they aid with introspection or therapy, leading to a better understanding of your own feelings and needs. engaging in and/or receiving unexpected acts of kindness that uplift your spirits and encourage you to connect more deeply with others will greatly benefit you this season. receiving and/or giving thoughtful and heartfelt gestures in a romantic relationship will deepen emotional bonds. that being said addressing and healing past emotional wounds is critical, this will lead to a renewed sense of peace and emotional clarity.

there might be a new opportunity for growth in your career/investments. prioritize your self-care and personal well-being this season; perhaps through adopting healthier habits and/or finding more balance in your life. don't shy away from practical advice that will help you manage everyday responsibilities more effectively. you could experience increased productivity in your work and/or personal life; which could be supported by your increased organization and focus this season.

you are likely to find yourself making quick decisions and/or decisively acting to pursue your goals, even if it means facing challenges head-on. make sure you are engaging in stimulating conversations or debates, where sharp thinking and clear communication are crucial. this will help you make the correct decision for you long term. also make sure you are using your logic and analytical skills to cut through confusion and to help you solve problems efficiently. it is time to address conflicts or misunderstandings directly.

pile 2

you may experience unexpected expenses, find it hard to save money, and/or face a temporary loss of income. make budgeting and financial planning your focus starting now. as there could be delays or obstacles in your career, such as a promotion being postponed, a job offer falling through, or feeling unmotivated/uninspired at work. minor health issues or feeling physically drained could arise; you need to pay more attention to your well-being, diet, and/or exercise routines. you may find it difficult to concentrate on tasks which leads to unfinished work and/or feeling scattered. your investments (financial or otherwise) may not yield the expected returns, causing you to rethink where you’re putting your resources (and time) in to. you could be questioning what’s truly important to you, leading to a shift in how you view success, happiness, and/or stability.

you may feel trapped in a situation (relationship and/or job) without a clear way out. which could lead to frustration or a sense of helplessness because you’re unsure how to move forward. is it the universe or you? it might just be you who is resisting necessary changes; holding onto the familiar out of fear of the unknown (even if it’s not in your best interest). otherwise, instead of taking the time to think things through, you might make hasty decisions that lead to you feeling as sense of regret. you could find yourself holding onto past hurts, grudges, and/or regrets, which prevent you from moving forward with a clear and open mind.

you might feel like you’re not making progress, even though you’ve put in a lot of effort. there’s a sense of being stuck or not being able to move on to the next phase of your life. i feel like it is unresolved issues or "loose ends" that need your attention before you can truly move forward. this could involve past relationships, projects, and/or personal matters that require closure. it may be a struggle to find closure in certain situations, whether it’s ending a relationship, leaving a job, and/or moving on from a past experience. this lack of closure can prevent you from fully embracing new opportunities. there is a sense of disconnection from others and/or from your sense of purpose. there could be a feeling of isolation / lack of harmony in your relationships or within yourself. the time is now to wrap things up or learn better coping mechanisms.

pile 3

you may find yourself managing multiple priorities or projects - prepare yourself mentally for taking more on. life may throw some curveballs your way; you will be required to adapt quickly. go with the flow and handle changes with grace - this will be essential. budgeting and/or managing money might be a key focus for you this season as well. you need to organize your time better to accommodate all of your commitments, both personal and professional.

projects and/or plans that you hoped would move forward might encounter unexpected setbacks. which could lead to frustration and/or a feeling that things are not progressing as you thought they would. you might struggle to see the bigger picture, causing you to hyper-focus on immediate problems and not the long-term. which could pigeon hole you or decrease your opportunities upcoming. now is a good time to re-evaluate your current goals and/or strategies. rethink which direction you want to head to ensure it aligns with your true desires and capabilities. also this season there may be issues with teamwork and/or "your cooperation". misunderstandings and/or a lack of support from others is likely.

otherwise, there is something worth celebration happening for you this season; whether it’s a party, a reunion, or any event that brings your people together. enjoy the company of friends and loved ones - celebrate your achievements and/or special occasions this season. your social circle and friendships are going to be more important than ever this season. you might find yourself relying on your friends for support or just enjoying each others company. reminder: you don’t have to go through things alone; there are people who care about you and are willing to help.

[rdr2gifs]

''the morning light, when it comes to me, it was there but I could not see''

Arthur’s life was profoundly shaped by his self-hatred, lack of self-worth and disbelief in the existence of kindness in a seemingly dark and cruel world.

I strongly disagree with the statement that Arthur only became a ‘’better’’ man after being diagnosed with tb. His struggle with his true/inner self is apparent as early as chapter one. ‘’You are not who you think you are, sir… which is lucky’’

He has lived a rough life, raised by criminals and surrounded by violence ever since he was born. It was installed in him early that his value lied within being a violent enforcer and he has lived this life since, knowing nothing else. As a highly aware person, Arthur's actions weight heavy on his soul. He accepts that his actions have consequences. He knows that a person who has caused so much suffering is not meant to have happiness in life. His way of life has caused him to believe that he is not worthy of love or redemption. He doesn’t want to believe that a person like him could be capable of any good. (a thing to note here is that imo, Arthur’s actions near his death weren’t attempts at redemption but rather a strong desire to do right and possibly be his true self.) This is why he keeps living as he does as it’s the only thing he’s ever known, it’s the thing that brings him profit, praise from the person he looks up to and he is already damned so he might as well continue living this life anyway.

The internal problem Arthur faces is that this violent, cruel way of life doesn’t align with what I’d call his true self/ideals. He is torn between the harsh reality he has known and an unconscious yearning for righteousness/love. To be able to carry on with his actions he must enforce certain ideals within himself, such as: I am bad, ugly, nasty, ignorant, mean etc. He also decides to see the dark side of reality, telling himself that the world is a grim dark place and this is just as things were meant to be. This is why he feels so uncomfortable being complimented for his good deeds, because a bad rotten person like him should not be able to do good. It breaks the image he has built for himself and he doesn’t want that happening. This can be seen a lot during the ‘’Money Lending and Other Sins’’ missions where he is unusually mean (even for his standards) to each of the debtors. Imo, he acts this way because he must truly convince himself of being a terrible man to be able to carry out a job which revolts him so badly. In the last debt collecting mission with J. John Weathers, it can be seen in his face/expressions how much he is struggling to put on a tough, uncaring, heartless act. He needs to maintain a ruthless persona to survive in the world he knows. He must convince himself of his own cruelty.

''Forgive me, but that's the problem. You don't know you.''

Contrary to Arthur’s beliefs, he is a naturally kind-hearted person who is unconsciously drawn towards kindness. And yes, even before he was diagnosed with tb. This can be seen in the people he respects the most and, in his willingness to help strangers (notice how he often does unnecessary acts of service for total strangers such as: carrying their things, holding out hands etc. even though they had already troubled him). Despite the life he has lived, Arthur does not enjoy violence, he does not enjoy hurting people. He doesn’t want to dominate over others. He thinks mostly about others and not about himself. This fact alone is very telling of his character.

He writes about Charles, a man who he truly respects: ‘’He’s a better man than me. He does not need to think to be good. It comes naturally to him, like right is deep within as opposed to this conflict between GOOD↔EVIL that rages within me.’’ A man who is not struggling with his inner self would not have written this. To me this clearly implies an inner desire to be a better man. He writes about his mentors: ‘’I love Dutch like a father, but in many ways, I love Hosea even more. He’s kind and fair and like a human being. Dutch is something else.’’ Clearly showing a preference for Hosea who is of a more gentle nature and shows genuine kindness. Unsurprisingly, these are the people who see through his dumb/though act and encourage him to drop it.

When he comes across Brother Dorkins for the first time, he writes: ‘’(he)was one of those innocent people who make you feel better about human beings and about yourself a little. Must be odd to see all that goodness in the world. Place always seemed dark and brutal to me.’’ Expressing how he does not see goodness in the world, implying lack of good examples/kindness/good experiences in his life. Yet, the monk leaves an impression and imo, this encounter (seeing genuine goodness) disrupts Arthur’s perception of what the world truly is. ‘’Just as evil begat evil your whole life long, so good may begat good’’ (what strengthens my belief in this, is the following, symbolic scene of Arthur realising the consequences of his actions right after picking up a crucifix. He was aware of them before sure, but is unable to truly ignore them now having seen it right in front of his eyes). If only Arthur was presented with more examples of goodness in his life.

''You have it in you... I can tell!''

His desire to do as much good as possible after realising he won’t live long is instant. This would not be the mindset of someone who did not already possess kindness in his heart. ‘’Know glory and forget about shame.’’ Arthur’s shame and self-loathing caused by his previous actions were what was holding him back from allowing kindness into his life. Knowing that he has limited time left has not made him into someone he wasn’t before. The diagnosis was a catalyst, allowing him to embrace that love/goodness truly does exist and accelerate the process of chipping away from the persona he has made for himself. This was a newfound understanding for him as in the past he was rejecting any notion of kindess. In himself and perhaps the whole existence of it. ‘’You keep hidden all that matters, even from yourself.’’

After being diagnosed, he writes: ‘’What kind of a man have I been? What kind of a man am I? What world is this we live in? A land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving? Is that all fairytales? Man ain’t got much good in him. I ain’t got no good in me… I don’t think and yet I see goodness. I see it. If not in me, in good folk. In Abigail and her love for Jack. In that silly monk. In Downes, I guess. Begging not for himself but for the poor, even though he was near starving himself. Maybe I don’t want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death.’’ This entry perfectly shows how deep Arthur’s self-loathing goes and just how much it has damaged him. As his journal allows a look into his true feelings, he truly does not see a single good thing about himself. He knew for a long time that the way he lives is detestable but he could not let go of it. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it’s all that he has ever known. He didn’t believe in anything else. This sudden acceptance of goodness has allowed him to see clearly, which was obscured from him before, and for the first time, enabled him to act free of past regrets for what is right.

⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪

Arthur’s redemption is not about becoming a good man. It is about finding the strength to change and recognise your true self despite a lifetime of self-loathing and breaking free from destructive beliefs of the past.

In Arthurian legends a stag is a symbol of the unending quest of spiritual knowledge/enligtenment

[daytaker]

The Gang React to You Saying You Hate Them

As a disclaimer, I'm going to say that these are reactions to you saying it and meaning it, not just being silly or dramatic. However, I'm also kind of assuming in most cases that this is NOT you saying "I am terminating our relationship entirely and this hate thing is a permanent situation."

The rest of the characters are below the cut.

Lucifer

"Very well. You're entitled to your opinion."

Depending on the situation, he might just shrug it off. It isn't like he hasn't dealt with his fair share of unfair whining from people who are upset with him. It would probably take a pretty emotionally charged situation for him to actually take you seriously.

In that case, he probably wouldn't quite know what would be best to do. He'd give you your space, but generally speaking, his demeanor wouldn't be significantly different. If things remain tense for more than a few days, he'll probably attempt to do the mature thing and sit down with you for a conversation to talk through your differences.

Mammon

"Pfft! No ya don't!"

Stage 1. Denial. You're so full of it. You couldn't possibly hate him, the Great Mammon, the first demon you ever made a pact with. You're just blowing off some steam. You'll get over it in a minute or two.

Stage 2. Anger. It's been a minute or two. You aren't backing down. Well, whatever! He isn't gonna sit around and let some whiny human talk shit about him! So he's going to maturely stomp to his room and maturely slam the door and maturely turn up some music obnoxiously loud.

Stage 3. Bargaining. Brooding has done whatever good it might have done, so he'll start to think of ways to change your mind about hating him. He's really an awesome guy, so it shouldn't be that hard. Obviously, the best way to let someone know you care is by spending money on them. So he'll go out on the town with a credit card and max it out on objects that are very pretty and shiny but really aren't your taste. (The fact that Mammon's taste is not the same as everyone else's taste mystifies him.)

Stage 4. Depression. The shopping trip having earned him nothing but abuse from Lucifer, he'll spend some time cooped up in his room and mope and sulk but definitely not cry, because how pathetic do you think he is? He ain't cryin' over one puny human!

Stage 5. Acceptance? Wait just a minute. You're so full of it. You couldn't possibly hate him, the Great Mammon, the first demon you ever made a pact with. He should stop sulking and go talk to you. Definitely not to beg you to forgive him or anything, but maybe if you squinted, it might look like that. Please don't hate him. Please?

Leviathan

"...I guess I should have known."

This is one of the choices that leads you straight to a bad ending. Ignoring him is one thing. Teasing him is another thing. Snapping at him when you're annoyed hurts, but he can justify it. But if you tell Levi you hate him, it will take a monumental amount of effort to undo that damage.

He'll probably assume you've always hated him, and that your friendliness was all an act. He won't be willing to take you at your word if you if you try and tell him that you didn't mean it, because how is he supposed to know that you aren't lying this time?

Satan

If he's (relatively) calm:

"You don't actually mean that. You sound like a child."

His reaction is a little bit like Lucifer's in this case; he'll leave you alone for awhile and not try to keep up the conversation. He won't really believe you actually hate him either. But he is a lot more insecure than Lucifer, so there's a part of him that nags at him... What if they actually hate you? He'll probably be irritable and difficult to approach when those thoughts are especially prevalent. Unfortunately, this is the sort of situation where Satan is immobilized by conflicting thoughts on what's going on, so it will probably be up to you to start a conversation and talk about whatever happened.

If he's very angry:

"Get out of here if you don't want to get hurt."

Whether that's a threat or a warning can be up to interpretation. I imagine that, as the Avatar of Wrath, there's a part of him that feeds on hate, so if Satan was a different sort of character, he'd say something like 'You fool! You're only increasing my power level!' But Satan being Satan, he'll spend some time in whatever room you've left him in and trash it before he calms down, feels extremely ashamed, sulks and/or broods for awhile at a complete loss for how to fix things without rolling over and looking completely pathetic, and, quite possibly, works himself up into another burst of rage from sheer frustration.

Ultimately, he'll probably be more comfortable talking things out through texts than in person (or starting the conversation with a text, then speaking face to face).

Asmodeus

"Hahaha... What...?"

He won't believe you for a second! Partly because, silly, of course you don't hate him, but also because his worldview does not allow for the possibility that someone he cares about might hate him. If he even considers the possibility that you might possibly, hypothetically mean it, he's in for an entire, earth-shattering identity crisis.

If you don't apologize pretty quickly or at least amend the statement to something he can accept, Asmo will head up to his room and hole up in there for awhile, obsessively tracking his social media accounts and pampering himself in the bathroom. You're lying, though. Look at this face! It's impossible to truly hate a face as beautiful as his.

Beelzebub

"Oh... Sorry..."

First he'll look like a deer in the headlights, and then he'll look like a kicked puppy. If he understands what led you to say this, he'll try and fix it, but if he doesn't, he will... (Select an answer below.)

A) Play video games with Levi. B) Go clubbing with Asmo. C) Eat. D) Learn to break dance.

If you guessed C) Eat, then you've been paying attention during your Obey Me! lessons.

And honestly. Honestly! Why would you say something like that? Maybe he's not your favorite brother, but we all know it's simply not possible to actually hate Beel. We all know you're full of it. So knock it off.

Belphie

"...Beel, did you hear something?"

Yep, Belphie is going to pull out all the pettiness he can scrounge up. He believes that the best defense is a good offense, and he's a pro. He'll act haughty and unbothered, ignoring you and looking entirely unbothered between sulking sessions under the covers.

Pettiness aside, you have, knowingly or otherwise, tapped into a source of deep anxiety in your relationship with Belphie. He has not forgotten the whole...incident that took place when you freed him from the attic. He knows that, reasonably, you probably should hate him, and it's amazing to him that you don't seem like you do.

Once tempers have cooled, it might be worthwhile to talk over what happened back then, just the two of you. It was pushed aside too quickly, and you both probably have things you wish you'd said.

Diavolo

"It seems I've upset you. Please know that I never meant to offend you."

He'll see that you're angry with him and give you your space, but he won't be as torn up about this as some of the others. Why? He simply won't believe you.

He has seen your soul, and it is not the soul of a hater.

Barbatos

"Oh?"

Yeah, get in line. Considering the amount of time travel shenanigans this guy has probably pulled, I have no doubt he has amassed more than his fair share of enemies. More than that, he already knows this is just you blowing off steam. Like Diavolo and Lucifer, this is just water off a duck's back.

Although, depending on how irritated he's feeling at the time of the incident, he may or may not wear a smirk as he gives his noncommittal response. Barbatos might be the man with the multiverse in the palm of his hand, but he is not above being petty. Watch your back for a few days.

Solomon

"Ah... It seems I've hit a nerve! I think I'll give you some time to cool down."

He'll back off and leave you to manage your anger in peace. Then he'll settle in to focus on some project or another that requires his undivided attention. He doesn't want to deal with all the unpleasantness that your words stirred up. Honestly, didn't he get past this sort of thing a few centuries ago? What's a little spat between friends? You don't actually hate him; not after all he's done for you. He can't possibly be feeling insecure...?

Nope, all he's feeling is itchy because of the toxic gas that's starting to pour out of his cauldron. He should open a window.

The Angels

I can't even do Simeon and Luke, because they'd both just be so confused and sad that I'm not sure where I'd go with it besides scolding you for being a bully. You don't just say "I hate you" to angels who are either extremely sweet and attractive or actual children.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not inviting *anyone* to my wedding?

I got married, and me and the mister explicitly did not want a big wedding. Or a wedding at all, actually. We legit just went to the courthouse. No muss, no fuss, no awkward seating arrangements, no having to manage other people, no gifts, no trash to clean up. Ordered in Thai food afterwards.

Where I might be the asshole:

-My now-MIL is extremely upset, she had told Husband that she "wanted to be there" for him getting married, and she'd expressed as much in the past

-while she is the only one who said she's upset, my mom said she understood why MIL is upset (but my mom and I are really blasé about these things, so she's not upset)

-MIL says she felt snubbed

-in general, I understand it's a social norm (if not expectation) to have your family there

Why I don't think the above makes me an asshole:

-husband told MIL ahead of time we would be doing a courthouse wedding (so this wasn't a surprise), and MIL said no, we can't, we need to have a big wedding, and we needed to invite his entire extended family. So, we figured if we told her when/where/invited her to the courthouse, she'd have invited other people

-both husband and I do not like large crowds or being the center of attention, so we truly didn't want this to be a big deal

-money isn't tight, but we didn't want to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding. MIL *did* offer to help pay, but we didn't feel good about that because she's retired

-no one was especially "snubbed," if anything, everyone was snubbed equally

-we've said no gifts, we have everything we need, so it's not like we're expecting something for nothing

However, I acknowledge she's hurt, and the way she is acting, I truly am wondering if I did something wrong. Essentially, my needs were in direct conflict with hers, and I can't bring myself to regret not having a big thing (but maybe I need some perspective). Husband stands by our decision, but MIL brings it up every time we see her now (weekly) and seems like she's trying not to cry. A friend suggested we apologize "just to keep the peace," and I might do that, but I want to know, AITA?

[wilwheaton]

One very simple question :)

(Tv/comics)

Marvel. Or DC?

I have liked them both and disliked them both, at different points in my life, for a variety of reasons. At the moment, I'm not paying attention to them at all.

When I was a kid, I was all about Xmen and Fantastic Four from Marvel and, Batman and Justice League (Marv Wolfman's run in the late 80s) from DC. Never really cared for Superman. The 1967 Spider-Man was awesome as a cartoon, but I rarely read the comic book.

In the 70s, I was only allowed one comic per week, usually picked out from whatever was left on that spinning rack at the drugstore. So more often than not, I ended up with something like House of Secrets or House of Mystery or one of those horror anthologies that didn't need me to read the issues before or after, like the serialized superhero comics did. I got a lot of replay value from those books.

In the 80s, I had my own money and the ability to drive myself to comic conventions, and that's when I fell in love with Sandman, Watchmen, pretty much the entire Prestige Format that became Vertigo. I recall feeling like Marvel was for kids, then, and DC was serious. I was only 16, so take that for what it's worth.

But speaking of being 16, I'm gonna focus on Batman for a sec. I loved Batman 89, and I think all the efforts to make a Batman movie ever since have fallen short in ways I couldn't predict back then. It's gotten better with age and by comparison, for me. Michael Keaton is my favorite Batman, the way Christian Bale is my favorite modern Bruce Wayne (they both pale next to Pure. West. if anyone asks me).

The OG Batman series is maybe my favorite series of all time not called Star Trek or The Prisoner, and the 1966 movie is my favorite of all the Batman movies. Of course I love the animated series, and I get to be Blue Beetle in Brave and the Bold, so that's pretty awesome and its whole own thing.

Turning to the current moment, with rare exception, all the MCU and DCU movies do nothing for me. I thought I must have been missing something, so tried really hard to give them a chance to knock me out. I watched as many of the MCU movies as I could stand, and I just felt exhausted and bored by all of it, by the time I got to ... I can't even remember. Something with maybe Thanos and Ant-Man? I felt like it was a big, complicated mess of fan service and meetings that could have been e-mails, resulting in in a stew full of interesting ingredients that have all blended together into a flavorless paste. I do enjoy all the James Gunn movies, though, even if Chris Pratt is the worst Chris, because James always centers the characters and their conflicts, then uses the action and stunts to support the story.

I feel like a lot of this sounds harsh, but even Star Wars, my favorite movie when I was a kid, has grown into something I don't recognize or care about. I'm old. I know what I like and what I don't like. I'm not patient like I once was, and it's clear I'm not the person those studios want in the theatre, anyway. I could make that joke about how it's the children who are wrong, but I accept that I am not in the demo, and I am genuinely happy for everyone who loves the spectacle and the experience of seeing those films with an enthusiastic audience. I just won't be there with you, but you can find me in the parking lot, yelling at a cloud.

...wow that's a very big answer to a very simple question.

[suguru-getos]

//fractures// geto suguru x f!reader // chapter 3

links 🔗: part one // part two

story summary: being a monkey is the norm except when you're captured by geto sama because he needs money from your parents. however, you may just have to suffer a little extra because of the forced thinking about the right and wrongs... you're putting him through. the affection you’re forcing him through…

chapter summary: after getting a fever from the injury, geto calls shoko to treat you — however, he ends up being conflicted and bruising your psyche again with his words & actions. you, (sorta?) fight back this time though.

warnings: signs of abu$e, heavy degradation, mean mean mean MEAN geto, reader also gets mean by the end of it. fluff if you squint-,-

a/n: i'm just writing off this chapter for my funsies :3 but please it is such a 'dead dove do not eat' story so i'd suggest people PLEASE read it after heeding through the warnings ;) also, not beta’d 🤺✨

"its 100 degrees." manami sighs, taking the thermometer out of your mouth. a soft pout on your lips, "then do something to get rid of it, where is the anti-fever medication?" suguru raised a brow. after having your hand carved, it was obvious you would get a high fever. it was too much toll on your body. ever so evident anyway. "and some painkillers." you added, frankly you were still sweating in pain, it hurt. everywhere hurts. "the doctor will be here soon." suguru huffs, looking at manami dismissively, he can't really show that his heart is breaking apart for a good for nothing monkey after all. manami leaves with an eye roll. she felt conflicted too, geto's feelings were enabling everyone to think a little about their actions.

soon, shoko was here to heal you. she glanced at your form, you were beaten and bruised. eyes mingling with suguru, "she is a non-sorcerer." she commented, and raised a brow. "geto, I am surprised she is alive here" she hums, no expression on her face whatsoever. suguru doesn't respond, and neither do you. it did not help at all that she was amazed at something like that. after a second or two, you hummed, "cus he wouldn't get the money from my parents."

suguru's eyes widen, it- is it? is it the money that's making him act this way? no, money is never above his moral compass. the whole reason you're so tattered is because money doesn't matter. his resolve is just being tested, that's all. "shoko, don't heal her." suguru's jaw twitches, he doesn't want to do this but seems like he has to. "I want her worthless self to remember who she is even after she leaves, I want that shit to scar." he crosses his arms, looking at you with predominant hatred.

your heart sinks, you hadn't even thought about how it would feel… to see the grotesque mark looking in your hand for the rest of your life. monster, geto suguru is a monster.

tears well up in your eyes, shaking your head no rapidly. "please don't- please s' hurting too much-" you begged, hands reflexively gripping at his gojo-gesa. "no- no- g-geto? geto- sama" you answered again, while suguru notices how your body shivers in pain and drenched in sweat. "did I say you could touch me? you piece of shit?" a snarl echoed through the room, geto's hand raised to hit you but stopping, you were cowering, all small and flinching. just like his girls. hot and cold, his behavior has been hot and cold. one moment he was hugging you to calm you down, now, he's ordering shoko to let you suffer in pain. "if you touch me again, you filthy monkey, I will make sure to break every bone in your body and leave you handicapped in the basement to rot and starve." his jaw clenched, while you couldn't do anything but listen. you don't want to die anyway. "I'm sorry." you mumbled, heartbroken. six more days with him. your broken voice shoves him back into his senses, he is trying so hard to ensure that it doesn't happen - that he doesn't feel like killing himself, so he is uttering shit, whatever helps to balm his own brimming rebellion against his own thoughts. your eyes are still kind, its just the way they are, you still can't look at him with anything except a silent plea for mercy.

"I think I should heal her, else she would die of an infection." she holds your wrist, a drastic change in your body immediately felt when she began to heal you. your internal injuries, popped lip, the carving, the cumulative blinding pain of it all fading away into nothing. geto only stands still, watching the way your creased brows turn softer, how your pained face turns neutral.

"thank you." you mumbled at shoko, and she smiles. "I don't know why he's got you kidnapped like some third grade movie's villain, but we have another certain someone who can save you perhaps." suguru raises a brow at shoko, the audacity was impressive. she leans back, watching the glimmer of hope in your face. her hand lands onto geto's shoulder, squeezing it firmly. "she's a human, didn't you say picking on the weak was not a good thing geto?" suguru rolls his eyes, gently pushing her away. "leave." he commands instantly, while shoko smiles at you, "see you, ne? y/n san!"

you were curious, who was this other person that she could send to help? then again, you're not sure if anyone could help you against this monster in front of you. suguru sighs, the way he speaks to you torments him more than it could ever torment you. which in-turn, makes him try harder to reach a state where he DOES NOT, feel this pathetic after abusing you. so? he mumbles again. "I wonder if you worked like a stripper mm?" you blinked, unsure where this was coming from. no, you weren't a stripper. you waited for him to continue whatever he meant to say. "I mean you certainly look the part, perky boobs, are they fake or real?" your face pales, so far geto has harmed you but nothing was remotely sexual, this turn makes you want to throw up. the expression of sheer panic on your face isn't gone unnoticed by him. he wants to stop, he wants to make sure he never says something like this ever again. then again, he just needs to 'kill' this kind, and caring part of him anyway. "maybe next time I can carve your insides up with the knife, leave you bleeding if you ever try to touch me again. since you want me so bad anyway?" you shake your head no, like a forced obedient pup in training. he was horrifying, absolutely fucking disgusting and every part of you wished he was dead.

to suguru… though, these were all just words. maybe now you will stop looking at him with hidden expectations that he would be kinder, nicer. more tolerable… you don't deserve that, monkeys don't deserve that!

"you will get your lunch and dinner here, don't move or I will chain you with your hands tied up and let my girls practise boxing on your pathetic rag of a body." christ, he was fucking insane. your mouth couldn't help it-

"you utter so much shit just because you're capable of killing me? maybe you're a frustrated eunuch, clearly looks from that disgusting, vomit inducing face. I hope you're killed like the dog that you are, impaled on something sharp since that's all you could ever think of, bastard." you widened your eyes after these words left your mouth. dead. you are to be dead.

suguru is stunned. "this is what happens when pets like you aren't trained well. as soon as the pain is gone, your mouth is on again hmm?" he's amused, you clearly can't do anything to him. still… your words… hurt. why do they fucking hurt? are you important to him? certainly not-

"mutts sleep on the floor." he yanks you outside the bed, throwing you on the marble floor and leaving.

six more days… and he will have you gone.

six more days, and you will never see the fucking bastard.

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea Episode 10 | The Fight (Micro-expressions + Mini Meta)

Peat and Fort did brilliantly in this scene. I wanted to pick out some of their micro-expressions to analyse in more detail.

1 - Just after Mut tells Rak he loves him, he's visibly taken aback, he looks crushed and frantic and helpless - 'Why did you have to get your feelings into the open? Why couldn't we have continued to play house without me having to confront my feelings? Why?' Rak is confused and crestfallen as to why Mut has chosen to shatter the bubble they've been existing in. Why is this necessary?

2 - Mut can't help his frustration. He's decided to put all his cards out on the table, and still Rak is choosing avoidance, to deny, to hide, to escape. Mut's played along until now, but he's so sick and tired of it. His attempts to be fully transparent, always lead to a rebuttal, Rak's unwillingness to concede, to compromise. Mut's anger comes from a place of 'you leave me no choice'.

3 - You can hear the gears grinding in Rak's brain when Mut reiterates that he was never after the money. His mind is going into overdrive. He's questioning. He's thinking 'but this isn't possible'. Despite being aware of Mut feelings, he can't face them because it forces him to recognise his own. And he just can't, he's scared shitless and he just doesn't know how.

4 - Just after Mut says 'let me love you', you can see the intensity of compassion and concern flit across his face. He softens. His eyes are searching, wanting. He so badly needs Rak to open up to him fully. There's hope and vulnerability - 'please accept my love, please. I'm trying so hard, I'm trying. Give me something, anything.'

5 - Rak is fighting with himself. He's conflicted, guilty, torn that he's been put on the spot against his will. He's dealing with the realisation that he will hurt Mut, and he doesn't have the stomach for it. You can see the second he decides to muster up the courage, decides to do the cruel but necessary thing. In this moment, Rak's fight or flight response is telling him to choose himself, which means he has to hurt Mut instead. It's the only way. 'You forced my hand'.

6 - Mut doesn't often exhibit outbursts of hurt but he does here. He's incensed. Rak's callousness is insult to injury. 'Perhaps you were never capable of loving me, but don't throw my love for you back in my face'. I think Mut is also making a last ditch effort to emphasise that he's not going to change his mind. Once his feelings are out there, that's it. Regardless of whether Rak loves him back or not, it doesn't change how he feels. This is the power of his conviction.

7 - This is super subtle, but you see the light diminish from Rak's eyes. He almost goes lifeless from the inside out. He deflates. Any active turmoil that was there is now replaced by resignation, by acceptance. It's sinking in what he's done and the realisation there's no going back and he has to make peace with it.

8 - Mut's final retort is painfully self-deprecating, that little chin tilt of 'How foolish I was to think I could have nice things. You've just proved to me once again how asking for things only indicates how wildly undeserving I am. I know my place, and that's where I'll return to'.

[riofann]

2. tempestuous

Authors Note: I am trying something new. I like this story line please give me your feedback. Only reposts and likes please don't steal my work. XOXO Rose

Tempestuous: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.

Previous Chapter

Friday August 2, 2019

It's not long before you see him again this time he pops up at your bar

“Long time no see” you joke as you place the burger and wings and fries in front of him 

“Have a seat” he motions with his head

You slide into the other side and keep a straight face 

“I need a favor” he speaks before taking a fry into his mouth 

“I'm out of favors”

He smirks “I think you got a few left”

“I don't” and you were being honest even with small talk you still didn't trust him as you did in the past 

“Well it's a small favor” 

“I'm at capacity”

He sighs “Y/N”

“Christopher” 

He looks at you contemplating what he wanted to say next you both knew there wasn't a way out of doing this favor, you were just prolonging the inevitable 

“What did Alejandro say to you?” 

“What?” the question shocked you.  You expected the usual ‘stash this (drugs) need this(money) hold this (weapon)’. He sighs and straightens up looking at you “The ball was almost a month ago” you comment 

He shrugs “Well I've been curious”

You roll your eyes “nothing”

“Did you meet with him?”

“You would know I'm sure you have spies around town”

“Y/N”

“Christopher” 

He sighs “Okay so what did he say to you at the party?”

“Nothing” you didn't know what the consequences were for revealing your conversation 

He remains silent waiting. You sigh “he said that he knew what you did to me” Rio shifts on his seat. “And because of that I learned the true nature of the Serraño family. That you will put money above everything else.” You shrug 

He doesn't say anything just looks at you

It makes you nervous so instead you grab the basket of fries and start nibbling on a fry

“What else?” 

“Nothing” 

“He didn't offer you anything?” 

You shake your head “Nope”  emphasizing the P

He knew you were lying, you knew he knew you were lying but you weren't going to tell him. While one statement could be  considered facts the other was inflammatory and you weren't going to confirm nor deny anything that would have you getting caught in the crossfire 

He nodded and in return you pushed his fries back to him “Anything else?” 

“Jalapeño ranch speciality of the house”

“Oh that's right, I'll have someone bring it over” 

Tuesday August 13, 2019 

You hear rumbling at your front door and yank it open with gun at hand ready to face whomever was at your door at 3:03AM  

“Rio” you call his name, annoyed and relieved at the same time

“Heyyy” he greets, he looks like he got into a bad fight, there’s blood all over his face and hands 

“You look like shit” you comment

He scoffs and walks past you “Come right in!” You say sarcastically before closing the door 

“I need more money” he says before plopping down on your couch

You roll your eyes, this was becoming a routine now “how much?” 

He adjusts holding his side “All you got”

“I got 5 million”

“More than enough” 

“Okayyy” You return with the bag and hand it to him. He grimaces, reaching for it “What happened?”  (why the fuck did you ask him that you scold yourself)

He stands up and strains holding onto his side “Nothing you need to worry about” 

“Well your blood is dripping on my clean couch and carpet” you forcefully move him off of it. He looks down and smirks

And your leaving a trail of blood he follows your hand “Let me see” you offer 

He shakes his head “Don't worry about it”

“You won't make it far if I don't” you look at the blood pooling by his feet. You don't give him time to respond, instead you make him sit on the dining table chair. 

You walk away and grab the first aid kit 

As soon as he sees it he stands up “I don't need that”

“You do plus what's an additional 30 minutes? it won't take long” you push him down by the shoulders  

He gives up huffing along the way “I'm sitting, I'm sitting” 

You work quick cleaning the cuts on his face before moving to his abdomen

“Whoever you made angry let's hope their dead, the wound is deep you need stitches, I did the best I could but  you'll have to see a doctor” 

He nods and stands up and walks past you this time not giving you the option to protest you watch silently as he walks out the door 

While you clean up the blood he left you berate yourself for even treating his wounds 

(You should have let him bleed to death bitch , what's wrong with you?!) 

Saturday August 31, 2019

Speak of the devil and he appears. 

“Hey Y/N, there's someone here to see you” Grace your manager tells you 

You were busy in your office manipulating the books when she walked in “Who is it?” “I don’t know some guy he was like ‘I would like to speak to your manager’ ” she mocks

You make a face “Is it the guy with a low cut fade (Rio)?” 

She shakes her head “Nope”

“Regular?” She shakes her head again “Nope never seen him before” 

“How does he look?” 

“Long greasy long hair, gaudy jewelry” 

Your stomach drops, only one person fits that description that you knew of and it had to be Alejandro “Thick accent?” 

“YES!” 

You smile at her “Thanks tell him I will be out shortly” “Will do boss!” 

“Thanks Gracie” 

You review the cameras to see who he came with, 2 other men. They sat on a table facing the front door. 

You make sure to make note of where you left off before you exit your office. 

“Hey, is the food for table 9 ready?” you ask your lead cook

He looks at the ticket “Uhhhh almost done boss!” he confirms 

“Okay let me know when it's done I will take it out” you say as 

“Got it!” 

You help out your staff with other tasks like preparing dessert or grabbing things from the fridge or rinsing dishes before they get into the dishwasher. 

“Alejandro, nice to see you again” you say as you put the food on the table “Ahhh there she is the lovely Y/N!” he gets up and gives you a hug and cheek kisses before sitting down 

“Wow such a greeting” you comment 

He grins at you “Show of good faith cariño” 

You smile back “I heard you would like to speak to me?” 

“Yes!” you look to the other men as they shuffle around on the table giving you space  “My apologies senorita, these are my associates Manuel and Carlos”

“Nice to meet you” you greet them “Senorita, please sit” he says pulling out your chair 

“Sure let me grab some water” You walk away to gather your nerves before returning “Yes how can I help you Alejandro?” 

“¿Sabes español?” “Poco” you motion a pinch with your fingers 

“Ah okay  ¿Has pensado en mi propuesta? (Have you thought about my proposition?)” 

“A little, but we haven’t really discussed after plus I’ve been busy” 

“Serraño Family always keeping you busy” he makes a whip noise as a joke

“Ha ha ha” You say sarcastically 

“Disculpe Senorita, I left my message on your front door” You nod “Yes the necklace I got it” he left it hanging on the handle and you could have shit yourself at that moment when you saw it.

“It's yours by the way” he mentions

“Ohhh thank you, how kind?” you didn’t want to keep anything as a gift, they were never just gifts anyway. 

He takes a bite of his food “So what do you think?” 

“I don’t know, what would my cut be?” He laughs “right to the point” “De Verdad! I’m sure thats what youre thinking about too, how much I can do for you” you counter “Hmmm” He looks to the ceiling pretending to think before looking back at you “how much are the Serraño family giving you? Let me guess these guys are cheap” he turns to face his men “¿Que piensan? (What do you think?)” 

“Hmm 10%” Carlos responds 

“Viente por ciento (20%)”

Alejandro turns to you “¿Es verdad?” 

You take a sip of water “I can’t tell you that. What are you going to offer?” 

“Because I know these guys, in good faith I will offer 30 and up!” 

“What is ‘and up’ ?” 

He shrugs “the more you do the more you earn” he states matter of factly  

“And what do you expect me to....” Your eyes dart towards the door where you see Rio and Mick walk in. He pushes his hoodie back and looks around the restaurant before he spots you, there's no wave, no smile straight face, Mick also shares the same blank expression. 

You look down at your watch to get the time, he was here earlier than normal. His usual time was after the sun sets.  No he wasn’t due to show up today, and no you didn’t have anything to discuss, so the only option is that he either had a spy in your staff or he had someone constantly watching the bar. It would make sense his money is in the bar itself. You take a deep breath in “What do you expect from me?” 

“Los hombres están aquí (the men are here)” Carlos comments, causing Alejandro and Manuel to turn around and see Rio. Alejandro picks up his drink along with the rest and toast to Rio who didn’t even so much acknowledge just blank face staring at you. 

Alejandro turns to face you “Boyfriend is here” You roll your eyes “He is not my boyfriend, what do you expect from me?” you wanted him to get to the point, your anxiety was already reaching its peak and you can’t stop bouncing your leg. 

He chuckles “Your loyalty senorita and your partnership that is all,” he places a hand on his heart “you will be part of the Guerrero family and we take care of each other, you know what that means right?” 

“War?” you guess 

He smiles “Close pero we are a family of warriors” 

“Oh” you giggle nervously “Can I think about it?” 

He scoffs “What is there to think about senorita?” he turns to look at Rio then back at you “¿Estás preocupado por tu novio? (you’re worried about your boyfriend?)” You glare at him “he is not my boyfriend!” He finishes his meal and you all sit silently as the other men finish “We will take care of the Serraño family, they are no match for the Guerrero family” You didn’t trust him, something about his offer didn’t seem genuine, you knew how this worked there’s no way you could just switch sides without there being a blood bath.

You refrain from answering and just smile at him “Well I have given you a lot to think about cariño I will be in touch” With that he pays way over the amount that's required for the bill and he and his men get up to leave

You get up to follow them out the door “I must speak to your boyfriend” he sings as he turns to look at you 

“Alejandro” you warn not knowing what could come from this “No cariño I must pay my respects to the representative of the Serraño family” he walks over to Rio head held high chest pumped out “Senor Cristobal! Que tal mi amigo?! (how are you my friend?!)” he asks boisterous you’re sure the entire restaurant heard. You look around and see eyes looking at you. He grabs Rio’s hands and shakes vigorously almost cartoonishly it almost makes you laugh how he’s essentially shaking Rio’s body. 

Rio nods shaking his hand “Alejandro” “We were just paying Senorita Y/N a visit you know top bar in Detroit 3 years in a row now, we had to give it a try” he smiles at Rio then at you 

You smile nervously standing to the side, Rio glances at you before returning his attention to Alejandro 

“Hasta luego amigo” Rio nods and watches as he leaves. You stand by the booth watching the door you want to make sure they leave but the glare Rio is giving you makes you stay put. 

Grace walks up to you distracting you “Oh Rio! You’re here so nice to see you again, Hi Mick!” Grace greets

“Whats up? Gracie” he smiles at Grace it's scary how quick he can mask his mood 

“The usual?” she asks “Actually I want the house special” “Ooh doing something different today, you guys are early today huh Y/N” He chuckles “We got things to do”

“Busy men! Mick?” “Usual” he responds 

She takes the order on the tablet “Coming right up! Y/N Need anything get you some fries?” 

“No” you give her a smile even though you stood tense “I’m good” 

“Great I’ll get the drinks then I’ll be back” 

When she walks away Mick exists the booth for you to slide in “I'm not sitting inside” Rio glares at you “take it or leave it or we can both stand here looking like idiots. Plus I can’t outrun a bullet so there’s no point” 

He looks around quickly “Lower your voice” he scolds he looks at Mick and motions for him to slide back in

You sit silently as he is busy held up with his phone “Thought you said you haven’t met with Alejandro” he comments without looking at you You take a sip of water “I haven’t” 

“Hmmm” he hums “so what is he doing here Y/N?” You shrug “Your guess is as good as mine, it was a shock to me too” 

He nods and looks around “what did he say to you?” “Why don’t you ask him?” you argue He looks you in the eye “I’m not in the mood for games Y/N” You sigh “Neither am I since the Guerrero and Serraño family know so much about each other. Why not just talk to each other?” He takes a deep breath and sits up straight “Y/N” 

“Rio” 

Mick pulls out his gun, you roll your eyes “I wish you would actually pull the trigger because its losing its meaning” 

“Tell me what he said to you” He commands

“He offered me 30% and up”

“And?” “And I said I wanted to think about it” He chuckles smugly “You know what that means for you?” You shake your head “no and I haven’t thought about it I literally was just doing the same thing I am doing for you, talking to you till you leave” you smile sarcastically 

He smirks at that comment “30% sounds good yea?” He asks Mick

Mick chuckles 

“What's funny?” He goes back to texting “Looked into his portfolio? What he can do? What he does?” 

“No, but I didn’t look into yours either yet here we are” Grace shows up with the food “Okaayyy I have the house special the Big Island Burger with Plantain fries for Rio,  for Mick wings and fries, jalapeno house ranch and your beers! Need anything else?” she asks

He smiles at her “No we’re good” 

“Okay let me know if you need anything!” 

“Thanks Gracie” 

You sit silently as both Mick and Rio eat knowing if you get up to leave you were asking for more problems 

He clears his throat taking a sip of beer “His 30% equates to 5% of your current cut” he reveals

“And how do you know that?” You think Rio is lying to you to persuade you to not leave He takes a bite of the burger “I know everything that affects my business, so if you wanna go to him and do the same amount of work for less than a quarter of what you’re getting from me be my guest” You roll your eyes “I would like to not be in the middle of this” He smirks at you “Seems like we are beyond that aren’t we darling” You sigh “I didn’t ask for this Rio” “No but you also weren’t honest with me either” “I have been honest, this is the first time I have seen him after the ball!” 

He sits up straight “Why aint you tell me he stopped by today? Why did I have to come to see it for myself?” “Why do you have spies watching me?” you counter “Why aint you tell me about the necklace?” You shift uncomfortably “Exactly, see for this thing to work I  gotta trust you” 

“Like you understand what trust means” you say cynically 

He chuckles “I do and you better pick up an encyclopedia and refresh your memory soon darling” 

You huff and pick up your phone to text your mother back there was no winning either way “is there anything else you want?” you ask 

He shakes his head “Nah maybe another beer and napkins” That was your cue to leave he was done with you. 

Authors Note: Please leave your feedback, again please don't steal. Only repost, like, or give credit.

XOXO Rose

Taglist:

@katymae12344, @yinmaggiorebass

[angry-tarot]

a message from your pain

talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.

welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by 🫡

Pile one 🖤

You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.

Pile two 🖤

Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.

Pile three 🖤

Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.