#and Crowley has also feared tempting him into it

[lunaamatista]

I will make a longer post about this at some point but: if your theories about why Aziraphale has done bad and abusive things and has been having fun in la la land while ignoring all the horrors around him don’t include the fact that Crowley never told him how he’d been treated in Heaven, Crowley never told him he was at risk of being erased from the Book of Life, Crowley never told him what had he saw in Heaven’s Confidential Files, etc.

I simply won’t take you seriously.

[alargehunkofdebris]

Aziraphale’s reaction to the kiss: A Breakdown (that’s it that’s the reaction.)

A lot of people say that this anguish Aziraphale feels after the kiss is due to this feeling of “Why now? Why didn’t you do this before, when I wanted you to?” And I think that can be part of it, for sure. But man, that’s just one part of this gigantic, writhing ball of emotions in Aziraphale in that moment, all of them fighting each other, all of them painful. I’m going to breakdown the breakdown, because writing essays analyzing the minds of fictional characters is apparently all I want to do these days. Also, judging by this absolute nutball of a season that confirmed literally multiple “bit of a stretch” deep dives, I feel I can ignore that little voice whispering “this is silly” into my ear. I can dive as deep as I want, because there goes Neil Gaiman with an aqualung, swimming deeper.  

So. The kiss, and why Aziraphale looks so gosh darned sad about it. 

First of all, there’s shock. Major shock. Because despite everything, he still likely never thought this would ever actually happen. (Him and me both.) Or maybe – a small maybe, but a maybe that I might put a dollar on, if the odds were good – the idea of kissing Crowley never occurred to his conscious brain before at all. He’s so good at compartmentalizing and denying that it’s very possible he’s managed to nip every intrusive thought before it went far enough to be fully conscious.

Then, there’s fear of being seen. (“Who is watching? Will the Metatron see? He only allowed me to work with Crowley after he regained angelic status – if he sees me and Crowley now –”) Then, a layer deeper, there’s his ever-present fear response to things going too fast, because despite how we all know he feels, he’s still not sure he’s ready for any kind of partnership, let alone one this intimate and close. Because even for humans, this is a really, really big jump – we typically don’t kiss when we haven’t even been on a date (officially) yet, and usually not before both parties admit to their feelings.

Then, even deeper, is that anguished, heartbroken “Why now? My God, why now?” response, because his subconscious has always wanted this, but also knows that this is the worst possible time for it to happen, and now he’s lost that first kiss with Crowley—the one he wanted, anyway. The one that was supposed to be filled with joy, and is instead marked with the worst pain he’s ever felt.

Then there’s the second “Why now” response, and this is where I might be dipping a toe into the Hot Take puddle. Because I think there’s that knee-jerk fear response he’s yet to shake, and which overtakes his rational thinking whenever he’s terrified of Heaven or unsure of himself. It’s the suspicion he’s always held of Crowley. He’s thinking “Why now?” as in, “Is this the temptation that God and Heaven warned me about? Is this Crowley the Serpent, fulfilling his duty? Is this the true proffered apple, a kiss that’s meant to keep me from serving Heaven? Is he tempting me, knowing how I feel, knowing I’m weak?”

That’s the true anguish of this scene, I think. He’s fighting all these feelings, but on top is this old fear, this old anger and suspicion of Crowley, assuming he’s lying. Demons lie, Crowley admitted it himself. Crowley is the original Serpent of Eden, designed to tempt people away from God. And this feeling is what’s on top, because the alternative is…what? That Crowley actually feels this way? That Crowley, a demon, loves him, Aziraphale, enough to be this vulnerable, with no wicked ulterior motive? Aziraphale is a lot of things, but he’s certainly not a being who thinks he’s desirable. He sees himself as opposite to Crowley, and if Crowley is temptation personified, Aziraphale is then the personification of undesirableness. Deep down, this idea of the Serpent of Eden being tempted by him, Aziraphale, is simply ludicrous.

And then there’s self-hatred that he even thinks this thought of his friend, then suspicion, then fear again, then confusion, then anguish, then fear, then pain, and so on. All of this happens in a few seconds, and all of it coalesces into a singular takeaway: “This is the worst.” And because the one who technically caused it is Crowley, Aziraphale does what he does very well: he forgives Crowley, because he’s too prim and angelic to say “Goddamn you,” which is what he truly means. Goddamn you for making me feel this way. Goddamn you for making me doubt you. Goddamn you for forcing this option on me, when I can no longer take it, and when I don’t even know if it’s real. Goddamn you for putting this apple in my hands when we both know I can’t eat it. Goddamn you for reminding me that no matter what, it is not in my stars to live a happy life. 

[aihaloos]

Tempted to write a replaced au twst fic where Yuu (or alternatively, I'll use my Yuu, Riyuu, who is basically who I'm writing this for) used to be the cutest girl around, the cheery one who's always around everyone, the one you can't seem to dislike even if your crush falls for her because she earnestly says sorry (even though it's not her fault) and will always help you out if you need her back in her old school. But one day, a new girl comes around and her whole reputation got destroyed. She helps the new girl adjust, tells her all the rumours and introduces her to all the popular kids. But the girl ends up backstabbing her, telling the popular girls rumours about how she intentionally plays up the act to steal their crushes to her, and lies to the boys, telling them she's just playing with their hearts and that she's a horrible person.

Yuu ends up alone and excluded, being seen as "annoying" and only having a few close friends who doesn't really interact with her in public in fear of their reputation being ruined. She ends up miserable at school, and wishes to not go anymore. But one day comes a saving grace, she gets whisked by a mysterious black carriage into Twisted Wonderland, or more specifically, Night Raven College. She doesn't mind working if it meant she doesn't have to deal with her old school, there was still 1 and a half years left of school and she doesn't want to deal with all ghe group projects to be assigned that will inevitably end with everyone not wanting to team up with her. Plus, as annoying Grim is, he's like the animal friend all of the anime and storybook protagonists she knows has, and she doesn't mind him too much.

Some things did change after she and Grim got officially enrolled, but she had no problem adapting to the social expectations of the world, part time jobs with Sam -- and occasionally the canteen -- paid enough to get her tools for cooking basic but delicious food, and new friends without the weight of her past helped her get settled comfortably.

The existence of Overblots stunned her for a bit, but a peek into Riddle and Leona's memories helped her understand the concept, even if just a little. However, things began to change eerily simlarly to her old school when a new girl comes, also in a similar position to her, getting transported to a new, unfamilliar world, and seemingly hailing from a similar world to the Earth she knows. She warmly welcomes her, eager to finally befriend another girl, but it seems that the girl does not share the same enthusiasm.

The girl only barely responds to Yuu's attempts at forming a friendship, and always seems to talk her in a condescending way, and often dismisses her, and especially so whenever there are any boys around.

Yuu will not deny any statements claiming she's an attention seeker or that she plays up her sweet innocent girl act, but she knows to never, ever sacrifice a bystander for it. But if someone insists on war with her... well that's another, different story. She's learnt her lesson of being overly optimistic, and she will not make the same mistake twice. She will not let her make her life a living hell more than it already is with Crowley's irresponsibleness.

Aaand thus begins the story. Or well, however you wanna continue it. I'm honestly in favour of most Housewardens (Kalim, Vil, and Idia in particular. I'll put my reasoning in a few paragraphs down) Adeuce, Tweels, and Ortho for team Yuu. Why?

Well, first of all, Adeuce. This is mostly because the duo is like. with Yuu since Day 1, as much of a bitch as Ace is, I think those two are the most likely to trust and know Yuu well enough to not believe the lies R (< Replacer) tells. Especially Deuce, he doesn't want to betray a friend he knew for quite a while, that would not be very honor student-like of him!! And she helped him out in a lot of situations too! He doesn't want to hurt you after all the trouble you go through to help him, and also knowing how horrible your living conditions are. Ace would most likely give in to peer pressure if the student body is overwhelmingly in favour of R, but as of now, he maybe enjoys your company just a bit more than R. Just a bit, promise.

Tweels I feel like is self-explanatory. Those two are perceptive as fuck istg it scares me. Jade especially. I feel like the two would just toy with R for a bit despite her facade and lies before dropping her after she bothers them for attention and favours one too many times.

(Ortho ties in with Idia so I'll explain him in Idia's paragraph)

Kalim is actually very emotionally intelligent. He can come off annoying and stupid, but from all the scenes I see of him, he's actually really good at dealing with people. Have you seen how he deals with the Scarabia residents after Jamil's OB??? The way he phrases his sentences?? He didn't force or even plead with them to forgive Jamil, he simply asks them to wait before making permanent judgements, and I think he's gonna be uncomfy with how condescendingly R talks to Yuu, and even if he's used to people going after him for money, I feel like R mostly eyeing him for money and how she "secretly" sighs in annoyance everytime she goes out of the party for a "bathroom break" will only solidify his dislike/discomfort, even if he doesn't show it.

Vil is also kind of self-explanatory if you read into his character and not just the shell the official English localization makes for him. (I could rant for hours about how the official tl portrays his character istg. He's hardworking and he actually didn't attempt to poison Neige out of pure jealousy, he did it because he felt like all his efforts to be beautiful will never be able to surpass Neige, who, in his eyes, always seemed to be innocent and naturally beautiful. He feels like the villain in Neige's story. He feels like he is reduced to what he often plays as, a snobbish, overconfident villain obsessed with overthrowing the hero. And because of it, it became a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy, pushing him to, in a fit of despair, be that same villain everyone sees him as.) I really don't think he will take well to R's condescension to Yuu, who genuinely wants to befriend R. (I actually have a whole thing in my head where Yuu and Vil occasionally have sleepovers where they do skincare together after the whole VDC thing happened. I feel like this is also a "vent sesh" of sorts for the both of them, just to air out their grievances without much seriousness, and I think Yuu would admit to wanting a fellow girl in the school that she could befriend, since no matter what, being the only girl can be exhausting.) Ik Vil's not a girl but he is such a girls' girl istg.

Idia... this mostly ties into Ortho and The STYX Incident, but like,, I think we can all agree on this one,, Idia is smart and capital V Very pessimistic. Would you rather trust the girl you've known for a while, who saw your memories, who helped you in awkward social situations when she can and is besties with your brother or some random new girl who trash talks said girl behind her back? The former, right? Plus, even if Yuu did only hang out with him and his brother because she likes to secretly laugh at him behind his back, there's mo guarantee R wouldn't do the same, given his experience. And he would rather have someone who actively helps him and his brother out than someone who wouldn't.

I didn't put Malleus in because of how canon him actually treats Yuu. I feel like the fandom kind of put on rose-tinted glasses on with his character, and kind of ignored some things like, idk... him just leaving them to fend for themselves homeless during Octavinelle... maybe he thought Crowley would offer them a place to stay but like... I'm still bothered by how didn't atleast offer a spare room in Diasomnia. He's a housewarden goddamnit. He's not as distant or scary as the rumours say but like. still rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyways I don't think my attention span will let me write it to completion so if anyone likes this and wants to write it feel free. Pls tag me if you do tho. I would love to read it :3

[mellosdrawings]

Twisted boys worst to best, GO!!

I'll make it my fav to my meh if thats fine with you. I fear I would spend hours on a detailed analysis for what I consider to be perfect chara design and motivations otherwise.

-Azul (perfect, 12/10, makes my autism go brr, I still need to do that full analysis for him because I love him too much and have too many thoughts, must pull)

-Jamil (perfect, 11/10, someone please give this man freedom and his weight in cookies, must pull)

-Cater (perfect, 10/10, flashy guy with completely dead eyes, reminds me of Childe, pull if possible)

-Rook (perfect, 10/10, makes my autism go brr, perfect world view ideology, rewired my brain chemistry, pull if possible)

-Idia (perfect, 10/10, peak brother, family angst makes my heart go brr, insufferable asshole, pull if possible)

-Jade (9/10, creepy, would go mushroom hunting with him so we could see who's the most autistic about fungi, sometimes pull)

-Vil (9/10, perfection, made me fall in love instantly during his chapter despite me expecting to dislike him, fawn whenever I see him, pull if possible)

-Leona (8/10, absolute asshole, insufferable dick, wish his flashback was done better so we could see how horrendous it could have truly been, plan on rewriting something someday about that, should be on the pull if possible list but I have no self control for this fucker so I always pull for him)

-Riddle (7/10, made me fall in love with the game, used to kin him in all the wrong ways lol, would've overblotted too in his place, no pull)

-Ruggie (7/10, freaky evil little guy syndrome, has the funniest synergy with Leona, love him, would pull for him if I was rich)

-Kalim (10/10, best character ever and people underestimate him and his potential too much, would smother him in kisses, despite being perfect he is still low on the list coz I'm a mess, sometimes pull)

-Floyd (7/10, creepy asshole, love his mood swings and how everybody just works around it, perfect trio with the two others, sometimes pull)

-Deuce (6/10, lovely little mama boy, doing his best, I want to cheer for him, no pull)

-Trey (6/10, perfect house husband, love how hard he tries to be normal even though he's just as much a freak as everybody else, no pull though was tempted once)

-Sebek (5/10, I see potential but I'm not yet familiar with him, golden retriever vibe, would give him a smooch, no pull though I was tempted once)

-Silver (5/10, not familiar with him yet but he has very interesting themes, no pull)

-Epel (5/10, little dick, needs to learn to move past his misogyny and I love that theme for him, but keeps being done dirty by the story who refuses to have him learn the lesson, no pull)

-Lilia (4/10, should be one of my fav coz I absolutely love the "retired war god who settled down to become a father" trope, but I just can't get the spark with him for some reason..., no pull though I was tempted once)

-Ortho (5/10, best baby bro, has a lot of potential, but rarely ever used properly, no pull)

-Jack (4/10, best tsundere boy but kinda boring in my opinion, no pull)

-Ace (5/10, very good character but I would've blocked him so hard coz I can't stand that kind of behavior lol, no pull)

-Malleus (3/10, just like Lilia his trope is usually one I love but I seriously can't care about him no matter how hard I try, no pull)

Others:

-Crowley (10/10, peak character, would punch him in the face if he was real, must pull)

-Sam (9/10, very interesting, would love to see his card or have him more often on screen, would pull)

-Crewel (9/10, dom daddy, gives a mix of Vil and Leona vibe lol, must pull)

-Trein (9/10, father and widower, cat dad, would make him tea and scones, must pull)

-Vargas (3/10, surprisingly one dimensional when the game is so good at fully fleshing its characters, waiting to see more)

-Rollo (9/10, absolute asshole, desperately needs a hug and therapy, should also probably go in prison lol, very interesting fodder for Idia, would have pulled if I had any extra gems)

-Fellow and Gidel (10/10, brothers, assholes, completely out if it and loving them for it, still need to read their stories but I already love them, must pull)

-Skully/Skelly (10/10, looks like the weirdest little shit, super cringe, already loving him but still need to see, must pull)

[aziraphales-library]

Hello :)

Can the mods please recommend any somnophila fics?

I remember one where Crowley was temping Aziraphale in his sleep but that's all I really remember

Thank you

P.S. I love your work this acc keeps me sane

Hi. Here are some somnophilia fics for you. Mind the tags, folks!...

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by Starlightdreamerstar (E)

Aziraphale read about a new carnal pleasure he’s desperate to try, luckily for him Crowley is happy to indulge his angel.

The Night Comes Down Like Heaven by MoonGoddex (E)

"You might want to double check I've locked the door once I'm gone, just in case I've been forgetful." "Right." Crowley stared him down. "I'm sure you won't forget. Because who knows what a demon could do to a sleeping angel." --- Aziraphale feigns a nap. Crowley does what demons are supposed to do with that kind of vulnerability.

Ecstasy and Exorcism by Cunninglinguist (E)

Crowley had been out for what he presumed to be 9 hours or so, peacefully drifting in darkness, enjoying the nothingness of sleep, when a dream began to take shape. It wasn’t visual as much as it was entirely sensory: a palpable presence, warm weight at his back. The smell of vanilla cream and mahogany and old books, deeply comforting, devoid of the loathed night terror’s trademark fear. Crowley sighed in contentment. Aziraphale. For as utterly horrifying as his subconscious could be, it could be just as lovely. Alternatively: Aziraphale takes advantage of Crowley while he's sleeping. Crowley is flattered.

Plausible Deniability by GayDemonicDisaster (E)

Aziraphale didn’t sleep. He didn’t really see the point. But he owned a bed. And he sometimes lay in it, and closed his eyes... For longer than he can remember, there's been a secret relationship with Crowley. But if he can't see it, then it can't be real, can it? So long as he pretends he's dreaming, it'll all be just fine. This fic does reference use of BSL/deafblind manual alphabet. Neither ineffable is deaf or blind, but alternative forms of communication are important to them, for reasons which will become apparent. They also use custom signals of their own that do not correlate to BSL signs, and likely predate them by centuries. You don't need to know any of them for the fic however, all are written in plain English.

Latent by SmutKeeper (E)

Crowley suspects that Aziraphale has a somnophilia kink and tries to tempt him into acting on it.

The Art of Temptation by Ineffably_Yours (E)

Sleeping was more complicated than Aziraphale first thought. It was hard to figure out what was real and what was a dream. Crowley wasn't making it any easier either, grinding against him in the dead of the night and making the angel feel things that he didn't understand. He'd like to say that he didn't give in to the Temptation, but the angel was so weak when it came to the demon he loved. In his defense, he thought he was dreaming. At first. (In which Crowley is a teasing little shit as he sleeps and Aziraphale makes a lot of bad choices.)

- Mod D

[a-cure-for-hysteria]

Crowley attracts neurodivergents because he smells like us.

(Expanding on my previous rant about how we see ourselves in him). No, not saying he's autistic coded or anything like that, just that - and you probably don't struggle to see where this is going - he kinda portrays several very common autistic experiences. 1: First, he's a naïve 'kid', clearly with a special interest (machines and building things), something he's very skilled at. He assumes he's allowed to ask questions about Creation, not trying to hide his frustration when he doesn't understand why things are the way they are. He does not mask. 2: Then, he's cast out of Heaven with the rest of the angels who asked questions, after them having waged a war on Heaven (?). He fights for good, he wants justice no matter what. 3: After the Fall, his naïvety is gone, replaced by bitterness and cynicism - but even on the walls of Eden, he's still nice to someone who presumably never hurt him. 4: We see him turning into a snake at will in Eden. He slithers around, tempting Eve, pulls strings - still, for justice. He has started masking, and does it well, but believes he does it for good. 5: Throughout history, he mostly spends his time alone or in situations that don't offer connection with others, completing tasks for Hell, gradually losing his sense of self. He still cares, he still want's to be a good person, but he doesn't know what "good" is. Everyone's a hypocrite, and he feels all alone. All he has is his sense of justice, and he comes to believe that he can only trust himself. 6: Aziraphale, arguably also portraying several common autistic experiences, is the only person who understands Crowley. Possibly because he has a different trauma to that of Crowley's, but definitely still a trauma caused by Heaven. Aziraphale knows WHY one masks in Heaven, something Crowley learns too late. 7: Crowley wants to isolate from the world, is angry, traumatized and wants nothing to do with Heaven or Hell. At some point, this requires him opening up just a little to that other weirdo he keeps running into, and they form a partnership - initially only because of common interests. I might be reaching here, but a lot of autistic people have "common interest acquaintances" morph into friendships, they often can't be friends with just anyone. They need a good reason to. And Crowley and Aziraphale's shared desire to do as little as possible (and later, save the world) is such a common interest. 8: Via engaging through their common interest, Crowley opens up more and more. Again, we see the naivety we witnessed earlier (In The Beginning, S2E1) - that happy kid who just enjoyed seeing his machinations take form. For him to dare a romantic relationship with Aziraphale, it is essential for Crowley to (at least begin to) heal the trauma caused by Heaven. Him allowing himself to experience pure, naïve excitement is a prerequisite for love, I think. Without this change, he will be on his toes at all times, never letting his guard down. 9: He finally reaches a point where he forces himself open, out of desperation. It wasn't done right - it was done with fear and anger, but he was vulnerable enough, and finally naïve enough to try. This was immediately punished by Aziraphale, who abandoned him (not necessarily what happened, but definitely what Crowley feels). 10: And so, Crowley might retreat back into his hard, cynical shell, having lost the only person who gets him. Better just self-medicate, with alcohol and whatever else not shown on screen that I can promise you Crowley does. It's the "autistic, care-free kid to bitter, cynical, functional addict/goth-adult"-pipeline.

[carrieblmt]

The Name Change…🐍

This blindsided my brain yesterday, so of course I had to rewatch several GO clips/episodes to be sure my brain was braining correctly. And now that I know it is, here’s my most recent epiphany. It involves Crowley’s name change.

Here we have the demonic CRAWLEY, with an A…

…fairly fresh from crawling & slithering around Eden & causing the Fall of Man.

He meets angelic Aziraphale…with whom it can be argued he is immediately smitten when he learns that Aziraphale has just given away his flaming sword:

TELL ME this isn’t the face of a demon in love. You look me in the eye and TELL ME!

Oooo, he’s got it bad.

Fast forward a couple thousand years, and our heroes meet again on the eve of The Flood, where Crawley is still Crawley…

…popping up behind Aziraphale & recognizing him immediately. He expresses his regret that kids are going to be killed in the flood, and we start to sense maybe this demon’s not really quite so terrible. It gives Aziraphale something to think about, too.

The next time our duo come face to face, Crawley has been given a permit to destroy the goats, geese, property & children of blameless Job…

BUT…..does he really WANT to? After all, the goats & geese & kids are just as blameless as Job, maybe even moreso.

And Aziraphale clearly agrees. Not only that, in just the couple interactions he’s had so far with this Fallen Angel, he’s seen Crawley’s ‘soft side.’ AND he remembers the angel Crawley USED to be. So he calls him out on it…

Crawley unflinchingly asserts that he LONGS to strike down the blameless children of blameless Job, leaving Aziraphale to walk away with his head hung low as he questions his character judgement of Crawley. But just moments before he leaves the courtyard, he hears a bleating coming from some crows…and in moments, he’s miracled away the illusion that Crawley had created to disguise Job’s blameless goats.

TELL ME this isn’t the satisfied face of someone whose character judgement has turned out to be correct after all.

Crawley then goes on to help save Job’s children from destruction; and along with the assistance of a lie from Aziraphale, he returns them to Job & Sitis no worse for the wear.

Later, he helps allay Aziraphale’s fears of going to Hell by telling him that *he* won’t tell Hell about Aziraphale’s lie if Aziraphale won’t tell Heaven. And thus, a rather unlikely friendship is born.

NOW we come to the good part.

Ah, who have we here? At their very next meeting following the Job escapade?

Why, it’s Aziraphale and Crawley!

Wait…no. It’s CROWley now…because CRAWLey sounds too slithery.

But is that all? Nay, I say:

CRAWLey dredges up images of him slithering & crawling through Eden tempting Eve and causing Man to Sin.

CROWley, however, brings to mind the scenes of him sparing Job’s goats by turning them into CROWS…and the further moments when he also saved Job’s children.

This big, bad demon wants this glorious angel to REMEMBER THE GOOD IN HIM—and, perhaps, even remind Crowley himself…?—EVERY TIME THE ANGEL SAYS HIS NAME.

CRAWLEY: BAD.

CROWLEY: CAPABLE OF GOOD.

Remember that, Angel.

Headcanon accepted?

[itadoraki]

Between Dust, Crows and Carcasses.

—————————————————————————

Dire Crowley x R.femele. ( Black humor )

—————————————————————————

.

.

The sky over Night Raven College was particularly gloomy that late afternoon, and the principal - as usual - was "occupied" with his noblest mission: to avoid work at all costs. Wrapped in his feather cloak, he watched the movement of the students from the highest window of the tower, until an old and familiar whisper made him shiver even the feathers of the collar.

- "So quiet, my crow... It seems that they've been burying fewer corpses around here lately..."

Crowley froze. That voice was like velvet stained with dry blood. When she turned around, she was already there, sitting with her legs crossed on her own table, as if she were the throne of a mausoleum.

Her. (Y/n). Your wife.

Former fugger of a forgotten court, golden slit eyes, long hair the color of worn bones and a smile that has already made necromancers lose sleep.

She swayed a skull gently, like someone who rocks a baby.

- "I hope you're not cheating on me with some of those fragile little things in uniform... Or are you ignoring me for another more... poignant reason?"

Crowley composed himself with his typical theatrical flourish.

- "Ah, my dark and deliciously morbid wife! I would never dare to pay more attention to someone who didn't share my love for aesthetic dread and social disgrace. I mean, see, I'm wearing the necklace you gave me... made with teeth of dead maidens in collective hysteria!"

She laughed. That laughter - shrill, deep, almost spectral - echoed through the walls of the tower like the ringing of funeral bells.

- "Oh, how I love it when he lies with such elegance. In fact, only you to make misfortune look fashionable."

She got off the table with soft and silent movements like cemetery steam, wrapped Crowley's neck with leather gloves stained with paint and dried blood, and stared at him closely.

- "I missed you. The dead were very... quiet."

- "I also felt your absence, my exhumed bat... But look, I haven't been knocked down by any student rebellion or interdimensional attack this week. I'm getting over myself."

- "This is worrying. A man with so much power shouldn't seem so... dispensable. How about we fake his death and reorganize his image? We can bury you in a theatrical pose and announce your resurrection as a prophet of a new academic era..."

- "So tempting... But unfortunately I have bills from Azul's lounge to pay with the money I diverted. I'll die later."

She pulled him into a dry kiss like sterile earth, and even so, there was a passion made of dark pacts and promises that smelled of rotten roses.

After the kiss, she rested her head on his shoulder like a satisfied widow.

- "I missed your smell... of fresh paint, nervous sweat and institutional fear."

- "And I of your... eternal aroma of moss, washed bones and scent of Gothic daydreams."

- "This one is new. I'll write it down to put it on the tombstone of our future mausoleum."

- "Surely! And we will write 'they died arguing which one was more theatrical'."

They laughed together, a strange sound, like the tingling of glasses at a luxurious funeral.

——————

-Later-

While the NRC students slept, swearing they heard strange whispers and scratches on the walls, Crowley and (Y/n) drank tea served in cracked cups, surrounded by flickering candles and small stuffed crows.

She traced old runes on the table with her finger, distracted.

- "Do you still love me, corvito?"

- "With every fiber of my rotten heart, my fragrant skull."

- "Great. Because if you betray me... I won't kill you.

– I'll resurrect you.

– Every day.

*– For a thousand years."

Crowley widened his eyes, a little pale, but deeply excited by the terror.

— "...You're perfect."

And she just smiled with the sharp teeth of those who have already bitten souls before dinner.

————— A very long time later—————

Director Crowley staggered backwards when he saw what she was holding: a small black outfit with lace details and a skull embroidered on her chest.

- "Tell me, my dear, do you think we should call him 'Little Death' if it's a girl, or just 'Curse', regardless of gender?"

Crowley blinked several times, as if reality was trying to restart.

— "...Are you... pregnant?"

She just raised an eyebrow.

- "No, dear. I swallowed a ghost and I'm incubating resentments. Of course I'm pregnant."

She stroked her belly with her gloved fingertips.

She was visibly rounded, although her long black dress with slits seemed part of a ritual and not a maternal fashion.

- "It's fascinating... I feel the creature's paws inside me. She kicks with the delicacy of a demon trying to get out of hell itself."

Crowley was in shock and ecstasy.

- "My little skull... a... a being, an heir! Someone to continue my legacy of evasion of responsibilities and dramatic costumes!"

- "Do you really think he'll look like you? With that scared crow face and a morality as malleable as wet paper?"

- "With luck, you will inherit your emotional coldness and my ability to disappear in critical moments!"

She got up slowly, with an air of a priestess in a ceremony. Her long silver hair ran down her back like fog.

The pale light of the moon highlighted the brightness of the necklace of small teeth - the first ones she had collected as a memory of the childhood... of the others.

- "I have desires."

Crowley sighed with relief, then worried.

- "Oh, my gloomy little being... What kind of wishes? Avocado with whipped cream? Ice with pepper sauce? Ice cream and dead fish sandwich?"

She stared at him with her ghost cat eyes. Slowly, he opened an old grimoire and pointed to a grotesque illustration.

- "I want... the dust of the horn of a forgotten creature, mixed with dew drops harvested in cemeteries and served in a cup made of human ribs. Slightly sweetened with sugar burned in hell."

Crowley blinked. One. Twice.

- "You... are you sure you don't want... I don't know, pickles with condensed milk like any pregnant woman?"

- "Crowley... our son will be born with crow wings or wolf fangs. He deserves a wish to match."

- "Right. Of course. Nothing more fair. Just... give me a second."

He ran away, tripping over his own shoes, sending urgent messages via magic mirror to any night student desperate enough to look for "cemetery dew". In less than half an hour, the NRC corridors were in total chaos: Grim running away from a jar of crushed teeth, Ruggie trying to bargain with ghosts for a spoon of cursed silver, and Kalim offering spices thinking it was a supper.

Meanwhile, she smiled satisfied, caressing her belly.

- "He's kicking."

Crowley returned, out of breath, with an improvised tray in his hands. Some ingredients may not have been exactly what she asked for, but they were close enough to avoid a curse.

- "Here it is, my haunting of eternal love... a 'tempered death cocktail'... limited edition."

She drank slowly. And he smiled with the peace of an ancient spirit meeting his favorite tomb again.

- "Ahhhh... that... that's pregnancy."

Crowley fell to his knees, exhausted, with the feathers of the cape soaked in sweat.

- "How many months are left?"

- "Seven."

He cried. Inside, of course. Outside, he posed.

She smiled, amused by his tragedy.

- "Tomorrow maybe I want to smell the virgin dragon blood... Or maybe I just want poisoned sawdust. It will depend on the baby's mood."

- "Great. Wonderful. We're doing so well..."

————————— Months later————————

The night was darker than pitch. The moon hid behind dense clouds that seemed to whisper forgotten secrets. Lightning rays scratched the sky while thunder echoed like drums of an ancestral funeral. In the castle of Night Raven College, a private room of the highest tower was transformed into a macabre sanctuary.

Black candles melted slowly, casting dancing shadows on walls decorated with skull tapestries and arcane symbols. In the center, an improvised altar with withered bones and withered flowers supported a dark red velvet bed, where (Y/n), Dire Crowley's gothic and enigmatic wife, fought against the pains of childbirth.

Crowley, wearing his usual costume, although now slightly crumpled by nervousness, watched with wide eyes, mixing fascination and dread.

- "Reathe, my eternal enigma... It's almost."

She smiled, her eyes shining like dead lanterns.

- "This won't be an ordinary baby, my sloppy crow."

The walls vibrated when an irregular beat began to echo, as if the castle itself marked the rhythm of the arrival of the little being. The air became heavy, loaded with ancient magic.

After a series of moans that looked like ghost songs, finally, the silence fell. A strange cry - not human, but melodic and chilling - broke the stillness.

Crowley approached cautiously, while (Y/n) rested, exhausted, a satisfied smile on her lips.

Among the black blankets, a small being was curled up. The baby's eyes shone in a deep violet tone, and his skin was pale, almost translucent, with light feather-shaped marks on his arms.

He opened his hands - and small black claws stretched - before emitting a sound that looked more like a crow's song than an ordinary cry.

- "He's... perfect." - Crowley whispered, moved, his voice stunned by the magnitude of the moment.

(Y/n) passed a soft finger over the baby's forehead, as if recognizing an ancient soul reincarnated.

- "Our son. A crow reborn from darkness. The next guardian of the secrets that Night Raven can never reveal."

She looked at Crowley, a dark and maternal glow in her eyes.

- "Now our true mission begins. Teach him that the world is not made for the weak... and that death is just the beginning."

Crowley smiled, once again in love and terrified at the same time.

- "So... let the new times come. Our son will be the terror and mystery of the NRC."

And in the highest tower, the baby let out a sound - half sinister laughter, half ancestral song - as if he had already mastered the secrets of darkness.

—————————————————————————

[sunderwight]

finally put my finger on something that's been bugging me about people going "aziraphale is allowed to make mistakes!" (totally true) but then almost always following it up with "crowley makes mistakes as well!" (also true, but...)

the thing is, crowley's mistakes are totally irrelevant to the conversation about aziraphale's mistakes.

it feels kind of like there's this tendency to reach over and be like, see, aziraphale's not making a uniquely bad mistake here, crowley has also made mistakes, so it evens out and ergo no one is worse than anyone else! and that's what's important! keeping everything perfectly balanced at all times is the only way to have a healthy relationship!

but a relationship is not only "equal" if everyone's always got comparable successes and failures at all times. even if we give crowley the moral high ground for the last bit of s2, that doesn't mean aziraphale is put in the red in some kind of cosmic ledger system that he subsequently needs to atone for. that kind of thinking is in fact some of the thinking that the show is positing as a problem.

aziraphale can "do the bad thing" and still not be a bad guy. we've seen that throughout history, he's struggled to reconcile himself to his own imperfections. it's in fact deeply uncomfortable for him to contemplate being really, seriously wrong, making a truly wrong decision, because he's learned to equate that with falling. if he does bad things, makes big mistakes, then he should stop being an angel, shouldn't he? that's how it went for crowley, after all. but for crowley's part the worries around doing troublesome is completely different. that's just a fear of retribution if hell finds out, not an internal conflict within himself. not like how it is for aziraphale. crowley's afraid of getting caught, not afraid of what his choices actually say about him.

deep down, aziraphale knows that he's fallible. he knows it better than he'd like to, I think. but he also thinks that he's not supposed to be. so he's terrified of it. it's a big source of anxiety for him, and I think an underappreciated aspect of his dynamic with crowley is that even though crowley also knows aziraphale has flaws and doesn't judge him for them (even likes him for them), crowley is a demon, so his acceptance is also troubling sometimes. the being aziraphale agrees with nine times out of ten and whose judgment he trusts more than anyone else's, is a demon. someone who is supposed to be "evil", who lived through aziraphale's nightmare scenario as a result of his opinions. so what does that say about aziraphale? of course, it's actually really good for him that crowley accepts him. someone should! but it's not easy for aziraphale to accept that acceptance... erm, sort of.

ironically aziraphale's fear of making big mistakes actually leaves him more vulnerable to doing that, because he doesn't fully trust himself or particularly want to introspect either. he's willing to be swayed by manipulative people telling him what he wants to hear. sometimes that's frivolous, like crowley tempting him with something he likes, and sometimes it's serious, like the metatron offering him a "promotion" on a silver platter with an apparent solution to several other dilemmas too.

personally, I think that it's a fitting part of aziraphale's journey if he's just made a big, unambiguous mistake. I think he's overdue for one of those. because that's how we get to the point where he can confront his fear of them. if this isn't another one of those grey area situations like the sword or the many times he's lied to heaven or waffled back and forth over topics like grave robbing and medical advancements, if this just ends up being a fucking disaster of a decision, he will have to go through that and realize that he's still loved. he's still himself. he didn't suddenly become a villain or monster. he just made a bad call in a tough situation. happens all the time!

and none of that ought to be compared with crowley also making mistakes, because it's established that crowley, a demon, has already fucked around and found out. he doesn't need to learn that he can make mistakes, he's not on the same part of this personal journey as aziraphale. if anything, crowley needs to learn that he can actually succeed in changing things for the better sometimes, and that it's always worth it to try.

[obaewankenope]

In Absconding With Harry, what are all the characters' favourite sharks?

Cjftjri omg I need to answer this more than I do the others (sorry for taking so long to answer the others btw, I'm working on 'em)

Okay. Favourite sharks.

Warning: this is LONG so some will be under cut lol.

Hmmm... I have no knowledge of any magical sharks (which I shall be rectifying shortly) or if any exist in HP (unlikely with Terf-lady) so I may need to devise some for Reasons™ but I'll do only a handful of characters from the series, mainly the main ones for now:

Aziraphale

Impossible for him to have One (1) favourite as he is an Angel and loves all things.

However, he is rather fond of Bullsharks. Aziraphale thinks they're terribly misunderstood creatures. He absolutely understands feeling a little displeased with people invading their space and being impolite and inconsiderate when doing so. Alas, but Aziraphale cannot chomp the humans who invade his Bookshop so he lives somewhat vicariously through the Bullsharks that give humans in their homey shallows a warning (when Aziraphale is around and aware, those nips are painful but not lethal, unfortunately he is neither around nor aware all the time so misfortune still occurs).

[image source]

.

Crowley

Okay, so, there's several options I could list but, considering how Crowley is not a fan of dolphins (mood), there's only one shark I can think of that Crowley would consider his favourite and it's for several reasons you'd not think of initially.

The Great White Shark.

You would think Crowley likes them best because Big, Scary, Infamous (Jaws™) however, you'd be only slightly correct. Since Crowley claimed credit in hell for Jaws™ and the ensuing panic from humans and the cruelties they then inflicted upon animals just Being Animals™, Crowley has a soft spot for Great Whites because he feels somewhat responsible for the harm done unto them by panicking humans.+ However, Crowley also likes Great Whites because he actually considers them to be very chill animals and has swam alongside them as a cleaner fish (called Remora fish by the way) and had a devilishly go- evil time relaxing in-between temptings.++

Ultimately, however, the Real Reason that Crowley likes Great Whites so much is because of how they are perceived versus how they actually live.

Great White Sharks are targeted by Orcas (technically a dolphin: if you recall, Crowley is not a fan of dolphins) whom go after them for their livers and nothing else really. Great Whites will actively avoid areas where Orca attacks on them have occurred, including abandoning hunting and even potentially birthing grounds for a long, long time. Additionally, Great Whites are very intelligent and skilled predators that have a complex body language, methods of communication not fully understood by humans, and aren't actually vicious, bloodthirsty man-eating monsters as humans largely perceive them to be.

It is quite obvious, then, why Crowley is rather fond of Great Whites in particular, isn't it.

.

+ Crowley did not inspire Jaws™ nor the ensuing shark-fear that followed, however, he was in the right place at the right time for the movie release and the immediate response to the movie for him to claim credit for it with Hell. Did it make him feel bad when he realised the innocent fish in the sea ended up getting the genuinely shitty end of the whole situation? Yes. Did he terrorise his plants into Further Perfection in order to cope and screech at them to "accept the consequences of their actions and claiming credit for things they didn't actually do but are now responsible for"? Also yes.

++ Of course, Crowley swung his downtime as him checking in on the long-term fallout of his Jaws™ work with Hell and made a point of including in his report how he personally helped clean up the mess of several attacks by the Great White he was shadowing (whom Crowley learned was named 'Bruce' by the Great White theirself: sharks don't care about gender, but they do like names) and thus was still engaging in Hellish behaviour even when having a short break from directly tempting humans.

[image source]

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Hermione

Hermione isn't the biggest fan of sharks. She does find them rather scary as she is a child of the 90s and the fear of sharks is still quite prevalent in that era. However, Hermione loves to learn and she enjoys reading and discovering new things. For Hermione, her fear of sharks slowly changed into a fascinating curiosity after she overheard Aziraphale and Crowley (in their roles as Hogwarts Librarian and Professor at the time) arguing which of their preferred shark was 'the best'. Listening to them argue (or flirt, but Hermione wasn't even 13 at this point so she didn't grasp that aspect of their 'conversation') it was at that moment that Hermione herself realised something rather shocking and world-changing. She had never come across a single book in the school library that referenced non-magical creatures except in the same vein as folklore books in a non-magical library or bookshop.+++ Once that issue was resolved, however, it left Hermione to wonder about her own favoured species of shark — something she later brought to Harry and Ron's attention, as well as the rest of the students of their year, which eventually led to the rest of the school becoming curious and causing some intense 'disagreements' regarding which shark was The Best Shark. But that is a different tale for a different time (preferably when The Author has more time).

Anyway, for Hermione, it took quite a long time for her to devise a list of characteristics with which to measure each shark species by (which I shall not elaborate upon, please do not ask me, mercy is requested by this poor Author) and it eventually led her to narrowing down her selection to five species, in no particular order (links to wiki for images bc 10 image limit on posts):

Silky shark

Mako shark

Whale shark

Thresher shark

Nurse shark

Galapagos shark

Of those five, Hermione is still uncertain as to which is her favourite and thus it changes depending on the specific context of the question when she is asked.

.

+++ Naturally, you can imagine how incensed this made Hermione and, once she brought it to aziraphale's attention the duo worked rather terrifyingly well together to ensure non-magical reference materials, educational texts, and fiction books quickly showed up on the shelves of the school library.

.

Ronald

Ronald, once Hermione brought the existence of sharks to his attention, was both fascinated and incredibly terrified (though he tried not to show it) of the existence of over five-hundred types of shark in the world's oceans (not including magical sharks of which Ronald had no knowledge of prior to, nor after, Hermione introducing him to the existence of sharks in general). He, naturally, was somewhat overwhelmed by the sheer number of shark species and thus, as was rather typical of Ronald prior to the age of fifteen, simply picked one of the most 'popular' shark species and has steadfastly refused to change his mind even after several years of steadily increasing exposure to the 'Best Shark Battles'™ in the halls of Hogwarts that Hermione, inadvertently, was the cause of.

So, simply put, Ronald's favourite shark is the Hammerhead. What specific species of Hammerhead, you ask? "Just Hammerhead," Ronald replies, every time he's asked that.

Why the Hammerhead, just the Hammerhead, you ask him? "Because they look wizard," Ronald answers, simply and in the tone that conveys how obvious he considers his choice of Hammerhead as the best shark to be the Correct Choice.

It's usually at that point that Hermione gives up, often throwing the Encyclopedia of Sharks at Ronald (who, most frustratingly for Hermione, always catches it deftly: once a Keeper, always a Keeper, no matter the point in the timeline) before storming away to her room to, most likely, vent her frustration with the other Gryffindor girls about how uninspired Ronald's shark choice is.

[image source]

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Harry

Harry... Well. Harry was exposed to the non-magical world more than he would have been in another... Uh... story-line, and as he was also raised by Aziraphale and Crowley, Harry had the opportunity to learn about sharks much sooner than Ronald or other magical children save those raised in non-magical households. So, for Harry, he decided upon his favourite shark species not long after he was rescued (it's not kidnapping if he consents, right? Harry doesn't think so, but he hasn't consulted any legal books though, even without doing so, Harry doubts Aunt Petunia ever even bothered to report his 'kidnapping' to the police so it's a moot issue, really) and simply didn't make much fuss about it until Hermione came flying++++ into the common room and shared her discovery about the school library lacking non-magical books on a wide range of topics she considered fundamental to an educational foundation for any student.

So, yes, Harry had a favourite shark species before Hermione ever broached the topic with him and Ron.

Incidentally, Harry's favourite type of shark is the Basking Shark. He likes how very blasé (a word Harry learnt to irritate Uncle Aziraphale with French terms at Uncle Crowley's sly suggestion) it appears and how it isn't like other sharks with its preferred diet and the fact that, really, it's more like a whale than a shark (not really, of course, but Harry likes it for this reason also).

++++ Not literally flying, it's a figure of speech, Hermione doesn't like flying, but she can certainly move so quickly that it sometimes seems like her feet forget to touch the ground in her haste: maybe levitation? Harry makes a mental note to discuss it with Uncle Aziraphale).

[image source]

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Dumbledore

Albus has no idea what a shark is and remains ignorant of their existence until Minerva corners him in his office and orders him to choose one. Had she not cornered him in the way she did — complete with the vibes of a feline intent on achieving her goals and not at all concerned with whether blood might be spilt in the process — Albus might have been able to avoid learning about Muggle fish but, alas.

So, in the end, Albus decided that his favourite shark is the Cobbler Wobbegong Shark. When asked why by a very distressed Minerva, Albus simply replied with a twinkle in his eye and a half-smile that he found "their manner of camouflage and general appearance is wonderfully reminiscent of my late aunt's decor, I find it quite delightful for that reason, dear Minerva."+++++

+++++ Yes, Minerva hit him with the scroll she used to keep track of the bets of the staff on which shark each faculty member picked as their favourite. Then she stormed off and handed ten galleons to Crowley without a word and ignored his smirk at her irritation with him guessing the shark family of Albus' favourite shark correctly.

[image source]

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McGonagall

Minerva... Well. She learnt about sharks as a result of Miss Granger's determination to add Mug- non-magical material to the library shelves and came across her own favourite species not long after. She admits that it's somewhat cliche of her, however, Minerva also doesn't care because she truly adores this particular shark species and won't hear a word of criticism against it.

The Small-Spotted Catshark is clearly the best shark species out there.

[image source]

Snape

As a half-blood who grew up in a non-magical home, Snape did learn of the existence of sharks but, due to his hatred of his father (justified, this Author shall readily admit), he eschewed all things Muggle and thus learnt only the most basic of information about sharks. Snape did, however, watch Jaws™ when it was released; out of overwhelming curiosity more than any real desire to engage with the non-magical world. Although, he learnt from his mistakes and the foolishness of his youth, Snape remains a largely unpleasant individual who struggles to separate his past and the damage inflicted upon him during his childhood from the present and the adult responsibilities he has. Of course, Crowley assisted Snape in separating those quite efficiently but it still remains a challenge for Snape. Thus, it is only when Minerva becomes invested in the additions to the school library by Miss Granger and Mister Fell, that Snape has to set aside his distaste for Muggle things and seeks out a shark species to select as his 'favourite' if only so Minerva will stop giving him the Feline Murder looks every time he informs her that he has not decided upon a favourite shark species.

Snape's 'favourite' shark then, is the Goblin Shark. He chose it due to its appearance, the fact that it is monstrous to look upon, seemingly deformed and terrifying to witness, and also because, he feels a reluctant kinship with a shark species that is so harshly misunderstood based upon characteristics it did not choose to possess.

But that, dear reader, is not something this Author will dig any deeper into because they really, really don't have the time.

[image source]

...

Got any questions about my fics, my life, random requests for knowledge I may or may not have, or even if you're looking for some advice? Send an ask

[theniceandaccurategoodomensblog]

Who was angel Crowley?

There’s a few theories floating around about exactly who angel Crowley was, as well as theories that he too experienced some kind of memory wipe during the Fall. Here is my take at the moment—

In terms of who Crowley was, I’m favouring that he was the second in command to the Supreme Archangel (who was Lucifer; now Satan). In humanity’s mind it has gotten mixed up— Lucifer and his second in command have been blended into one. We already know that humanity has blended the two angels/demons to some extent because Crowley was the Serpent. So this would be an extension of that. This would mean that Crowley likely never had a name that we would recognise. We won’t know his angel name just as we don’t know “Crowley”.

The reason I’m favouring that specific former angelic position for Crowley is:

That’s what Aziraphale (with the Metatron’s prompting) offers to Crowley. I know it doesn’t have to be the literal same position but it is so much neater, so much more poignant, so much more tempting for Aziraphale if it is. It is Aziraphale fully restoring him to his rightful place! How could Aziraphale resist that?

He’d still have been very high up indeed but Satan would be the former Prince of Heaven. This fits better I think with what we know of their relationship. Crowley is clearly terrified of Satan. I know Satan is in a position of authority over him now, but if he always was that gives this more weight and backstory to Crowley’s fear. Plus, angels/demons seem to be both organised into an authority hierarchy which is changeable and to vary in natural power which is not (as Crowley is still so powerful). It seems like the hierarchy of authority and the level of natural power were once one and the same. But after the Fall, they are not. Crowley doesn’t show the kind of fear towards Beelezebub that he shows to Satan even though they outrank him. In contrast, he initially assumes that Satan showing up simply means they “are fucked”. Is it because Satan is more powerful than him? If so, it suggests that Satan had a higher rank than Crowley in pre-Fall Heaven.

If Crowley was second in command to Lucifer and humanity has blended the two in our myths then his “it’s Lucifer and the guys” comment in season one makes complete sense without any stretching at all. It is still the case that the questioning angel piece that humanity associates with Lucifer was Crowley just as the serpent was Crowley. Lucifer then is the power-hungry, humanity-hating Lucifer.

And then- consider this—Lucifer/Satan could well have agreed to the terms of the Fall. If his aim was power this makes sense. He makes a move for ultimate power, falls a bit short but takes the offer of power over Hell as a substitute. If the creation of Hell was a deal, this explains the back channels. It explains the cooperation. Lucifer wanted power. He got power over Hell. And Heaven got an opportunity to rid itself of troublesome angels including Crowley. Real wars have ended like this. Real wars often end with everyone signing a treaty and walking away with the best deal they can broker. It is also consistent with the multiple references to 1984, which I won’t go into now but can be found here.

What does that mean for Crowley and the memory wipe? Well, that makes complete sense! Lucifer knew how troublesome Crowley would continue to be, even in Hell. So he asked for Crowley’s memory to be wiped and he sent him up to Earth as soon as possible. He figured Crowley would be less trouble to him there, away from the power structures of Hell. Plus, what Lucifer/Satan does respect in his second in command is his imagination and on Earth this could be put to good use for Hell. It’s all very neat and logical.

Have Aziraphale and Crowley actually talked about any of this? Does Aziraphale know Crowley’s memory was wiped? I doubt it. Does Crowley know that Aziraphale actually met him pre-Fall? I doubt that too. I think Crowley has remembered/worked out his former position and so when Aziraphale references the angel he was he knows Aziraphale would have known of him. But I don’t think it occurs to him that they had an entire interaction (or that Aziraphale was already crushing on him). Just another reason they are out of sync.

[tonydaddingham]

(1/3) Coming off anon to thank you for clarifying the nicknames! I can’t believe “Every” is unrelated to “Every Day”; that’s quite the coincidence. More importantly—I read the linked post where you coined the Feral Domestic (iconic of you), and god, your early sleep-deprived impressions still resonate so hard. (ctd.)

oh. my. word. @nimpseudo!!!✨💕 hello, hi!!! thank you so much for this lovely, lovely ask!!! god, where do i start-

first of all, thank you so much for the kind words!!! this fandom is chock full of intelligent, insightful, and observant people; it's incredibly easy to stoke the imposter syndrome when writing your own meta or analysis, especially when you anticipate it might be quite controversial. everyone sees things differently, and everyone sees things differently over time, but to have a view that might just be a bit of an outlier is doubly scary. but to know that - if even only a handful of people - resonate with my ramblings truly is what makes me keep doing it. so thank you, thank you, thank you!!!✨

im certainly not the only one who feels like this about the Feral Domestic and the kiss in general. now i will admit that in this scene, i do have some aziraphale prejudice, and i can come across as quite biased towards his view of what happened. i think it might be because in the same situation, i think id do the same thing, or view it the same as i perceive aziraphale to do. but over time, my empathy towards crowley has definitely increased, certainly more than my first reaction suggested at the time i posted it; i get his perspective, his terror and fear and vehemence towards aziraphale's offer, and in his shoes id also refuse to join aziraphale.

i think what truly made me recoil tho, as i said in the post and you said in your ask, is the kiss itself. i get why he did it, i get why he was desperate and overwhelmed, but all i can see in response to that is aziraphale's reaction. whilst i see the purely emotional side of crowley kissing him - and god do i sympathise - logically it didn't prove much. aziraphale knows crowley wants to be with him, and crowley knows the vice versa (they literally said as much! that's probably one of the only points in this dialogue that they actually communicate!). the issue on both sides is the caveats - aziraphale doesn't want to run, crowley doesn't want to return. and both are completely understandable.

imo; if the kiss was meant to prove to aziraphale that crowley wanted him, wanted him to stay - well, it wasn't needed, aziraphale heard crowley all but beg him to stay. alternatively, if the kiss was meant as a "this is what you'll be missing", or "this is my goodbye", or - as i personally think - "this will make you stay"... well, these are all pretty shitty.

i do have to wonder if aziraphale has even imagined a kiss with crowley (jane austen, iirc, didn't write romantic kisses in her stories - although she did imply them - and therefore arguably a kiss wouldn't fit into his view of ideal romance... he's likely read other romance stories, but it's specifically austen's he refers to in a romantic capacity in ep2). he likely hasnt, imo, and so with this in mind, when crowley kisses him, how could he possibly see it as anything other than possession, carnal and rough, and as manipulation?

that isn't to say aziraphale isn't open to it - the ox scene and the 40s minisode certainly suggest it, as does him briefly reciprocating during the kiss itself - but it was sudden and fast and unexpected... arguably all the things that scare aziraphale. he reciprocates, but does he even see his own action as willing, or the result of a temptation? because crowley tempted him? it wasn't consensual, it wasn't discussed or eased into, and to my mind it wasnt emotionally romantic.

regardless of the extenuating emotion behind it, it was not a good move on crowley's part. manifestly, it might have even pitted aziraphale against him - aziraphale has always seen crowley as a good person, that's the whole reason behind the restoration offer in the first place... but this? this will have potentially shown to aziraphale that crowley might not be wholly who he thought he was. bad news bears.

anyway sorry, accidental analysis!!!✨ but regardless - thank you so much for being so kind to say what you have, it truly is lovely and very much appreciated. please keep sharing your own meta and analysis, regardless of reach you do or do not have; ive added on multiple posts a tag that reads "#in this house every opinion is valid if you can argue it well enough", and whilst jokey, i do hold that stance. ive rb'd and liked plenty of meta/analysis that are different to or at odds with my own, because i definitely don't think im 100% correct, and actually we all might - between us - have reached the right interpretation together, collectively. as long as it isn't outright offensive, and basically doesn't point-blank ignore the canon or narrative, i truly don't think any interpretation is cancellable if it can be backed up!!!✨💕

[ayarsi]

Good Omentober + Fictober (3)

Good Omentober Day 3 - the fall

Fictober Prompt #25 - "Do I look like I knew that?"

Fanfiction - Good Omens

Rating - G

Tags - Angst (slight)

Pov - Crowley

(another super late post)

If it is a Sin

-----------------------------

If it is a sin to love you, then I am truly a sinner--I cannot deny that. But God, why create this kind of love if it ends up a sin?

Nonetheless, should the Son descend to the world for the Second Coming and should they decide to cleanse it of sinners, then I stand and present myself first so I may finally be relieved of any more hiding. I shall show you all that I, who sides with neither heaven nor hell; a being who has existed for longer than the beginning, am capable of experiencing what makes humanity.

I am capable to feel, more than any of them above and below. I feel longing, hurt, I feel vulnerable. I tempt and I am tempted. I am feared and I fear--for myself, for another, and for Earth. I am questioned- Am I prohibited from doing the same?

If it is also a sin to question the higher authority, do I look like I knew that? I only ever asked questions. I even asked nicely. I fell for asking questions, but why didn’t they? They who questioned my validity, why didn’t they so much as burn a single feather or turn a piece of their heavenly selves gray?

And if falling marks me a sinner, again, I cannot deny that. I am a fallen angel but I do not side with the hellish demon. If a demon I must be, I will take the trait of detesting God.

God. God? Are you there? Are you listening? Was it really that necessary? Is it all in your Great Plan, Ineffable plan? To forever cast me away from those that I cherish? An ineffable punishment, really. But oh, you couldn’t have done something a little less cruel?

For God’s-

For Satan’s-

For somebody’s-

For MY sake. For my sake, I love. I-

I love-

I.. fell for him, all the way back then, underneath a canopy of feathers above my head and with a view of two lovers fending for themselves. Those lovers, aren’t they a mirror of him and I?

I love- No, love is nothing but a word. It does not encompass what this is. And yet, I love him.

…

But why didn’t he?

…

Does he?

[idliketobeatree]

I am begging ALL OF YOU, Good Omens fans, to listen to this song by Jesca Hoop (a lovely American singer-songwriter and guitarist), from the album "Memories are Now", released in 2017.

The Coming, huh? What a funny coincidence, right? Almost like the Second Coming?

And then it starts like this:

The song is dark and poignant, but more importantly - it is written almost like someone was plotting for a possible season 3. It's actually uncanny, how much it fits.

A quick artist background check: The narrator mirrors Hoop's struggles with religion. Raised traditional Mormon, she grew up singing hymns, and at 16 years old she lost her faith and stopped attending church. She describes the experience as freeing: she has "faith in people".

Overall, it's all too easy to imagine the narrator as Aziraphale, but we'll get back to that in a moment.

Let's focus on Jesus first. Analogically, in the song, he loses faith in himself, and refuses both Heaven and Earth to fulfill the prophecy. Jesus makes an interesting choice of alliance; he sits by the Devil. In a fit of desperation? fatigue?-- asks the advocate of Hell to help him become someone new. There's something beautiful about them being familiar, sitting arm in arm, almost friendly in the exchange. Jesus "was tempted for forty days by the Devil" (Luke 4:2), and he firmly refused then, but he goes back now: to his only salvation left.

The Devil doesn't get much characterisation, but we know he agreed to the terms. "The coming never came."

Now, back to the narrator. They're quite honest and self-aware of their role as an obeying servant to Jesus or/and God (as in Holy Trinity). In a world full of sinners it's necessary to keep people at bay, because not everyone can be saved. There's "only enough room at his table (...)/And they're coming to shut the gate/You're too little and too late". A strong implication of humans being a nuisance, a collateral damage in God's plan.

"But I don't buy it."

You see, the narrator has a strong motivation that they mention almost immediately after realising that -- good people are not getting in through the gate.

The best friend. We can assume she's someone very dear, and probably not that involved in religion. She doesn't deserve damnation, obviously. (Hello, Crowley.) Nobody does. Heaven doesn't really care about that.

The point is: they don't want to offer to save her anymore. Playing God's hand in this relationship would be an insult, condescending and belittling to her character. It's easy to be a soldier with nameless people, isn't it? Personal connections make all the difference.

There's also a little passage about not blaming your parents for "clinging to the good", which hits another personal note on the forgiving front.

The narrator is terrified of losing their sense of identity. It's a painful and slow process. Who are they, without the religion? How to fill the God-shaped hole in the heart, where it has grown large and uncomfortable, been there for ages?

The answer is: with other people.

The collective work of humanity on the matter of free will has an major impact on Earth. Our little choices contribute to the goodness as a whole, and it's not dictated nor defined by Heaven. No, it's all our doing. And we can make it a good place without religion.

Oh, and look at this. "Asking any kind of question could unravel me with one small fray"?

Pretty self-explanatory.

The song ends on an accusatory tone - at the religious figures who are mistakenly interpreting Jesus's teachings, justifying their fear-turned-hatred and "wrongdoings in his name". The narrator is scared personally, but outright - they're furious. Unable to ignore the horrifying unfairness of it all. The wars were never the intention of Jesus. He wouldn't sign another contract for massive destruction.

As a confirmation, there's a loop, a repeating of the first verses. The coming didn't came. Jesus is no longer a passive marionette on the strings of Heaven. He gives away the thorn crown - a symbol of his suffering for humanity's sins - and refuses to collaborate. He becomes an individual, maybe a different entity altogether. Needs some help from Hell, sure, but it works out in the end. No more wars. No more Heaven deciding who is worth it, and who isn't. It's just-- people, and their everyday lives.

If that isn't THE song synopsis for season 3, I don't know what is.

[aziraphales-library]

Hii, hope you're doing well!

Do you possibly have any fic recs/aus (preferably not smut but I also wouldn't mind if it is) where Heaven and Hell send Az and Crowley on the same assignments/have them working together or something and they have to pretend they hate each other/don't know each other and such? Thxs!

Hello! Here are some fics in which they work on assignments together. The pretending to hate/not know each other is more difficult to find specifically, but as it is a general element to the canon story, I'm hopeful it's in here somewhere...

Like an Earthly Nebula by Carimes_treehouse (G)

To teach Aziraphale how to do Temptations for the Arrangement, Crowley suggests they go on an assignment together. Scotland was a beautiful place, that time of year... --- Aziraphale ended his portion of the broth and Crowley slid his unfinished bowl towards him, receiving a thankful smile from the angel. They were now enveloped in silence —a comfortable sort of silence— when Aziraphale’s entire face lit up, looking directly behind Crowley and through the window. “Oh, Crowley, look!” Crowley turned around.

Joint Assignment by Calypso1012 (M)

Crowley and Aziraphale are assigned to a mission TOGETHER by Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale is extremely nervous about the assignment and seems to think that this is all just an elaborate test designed by Heaven and Hell to test their true loyalties. Crowley tries to be as patient as he can with his angel, but sometimes he just wants to kiss him until he doesn't remember what his fears even were to begin with.

Mercy by rowenablade (M)

Aziraphale and Crowley collaborate on an assignment, and Crowley takes on a bit more than he can handle. In the aftermath, Aziraphale has to face some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

A Most Unusual Affair by clenster, HolyCatsAndRabbits (G)

Crowley was slouched on the bookshop sofa in a snake-like curl of dark clothing. It was late afternoon and the noise from the street outside was muted here in the back room. Aziraphale had welcomed the opportunity to close the shop early when Crowley had sauntered in, carrying a bottle of red wine and looking quite Tempting. Now, to clarify: the demon Crowley was, by nature, very tempting. It had always been his job, starting with Eve. But Aziraphale made a distinction in his mind between Crowley being tempting and his being Tempting. The former was innate, the latter very much Crowley’s own creative mind attempting to wile an angel into agreeing to things which he should not. There was Tempting in Crowley’s expression today. “Let’s hear it, then,” Aziraphale invited. **In the late 18th century, Aziraphale and Crowley join forces to carry out an assignment from Hell and discover a mystery on a country estate.

Job(s) by sharkie (T)

Once, Crowley and Aziraphale received the same assignment.

The longest shadows ever cast by bookmarksorganization, semperfiona_podfic (M)

For almost five years, Aziraphale has largely been avoiding Crowley—unprepared to deal with the reality of his feelings after his realization in 1941. Their paths cross in Buenos Aires, when they stumble into working the same assignment for the first time in centuries: influencing the enigmatic manager of an illegal high-stakes casino. Faced with glamour, luxury, danger, and each other, Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves dancing closer to what separates them than ever before.

- Mod D

[freakytofu]

Absolutely this! It's a motion riddled with a lot of ("religious") guilt. Crowley is tempting, always has been. That's what he represents. Immorality, according to the strictures of Heaven and what he's Supposed To Be as an Angel.

Deep down Aziraphale knows that it isn't that simple. But it's a reflex to the temptation at this point. It's fear that Crowley is offering him Together Forever, On The Lam from Heaven and Hell. Like Gabriel and Beelzebub.

And the final return of Aziraphale's true (desperately repressed) feelings, which he most likely was painfully aware of since 1941? In a way, it's also forgiveness for only just realising, perhaps too late.

Crowley goes too fast, and in his oblivious speeding to the destination, never acknowledged their relationship in the way they both needed. It's only after he was forcefully made (thanks, Nina and Maggie) to pause that it clicked.

This is both of their last ditch attempts to save the other, from their respective points of view. Crowley's confession (kiss), slowing down, and his open offer of Alpha Centauri, always just them. Aziraphale taking action, to sacrifice everything he cherished - giving up his bookshop and their everyday, for a chance for Crowley to leave Hell, to save the world, to be together forever without the weight of Fraternizing With The Enemy. Without the guilt, comfortable and safe in the world they would inevitably build for themselves.

Crowley doesn't want that, and he figured it out a long time ago. He doesn't trust the Institution, because he's been burned before, for asking the wrong questions. He's always on the run, so why not be on the run with the Angel he loves?

They need to meet in the middle, slow down and speed up just enough. Talk.

But now it's the Second Coming, so.

How are we all feeling about Aziraphale’s last “I forgive you”? Does it mean I forgive you for kissing me to try to get me to stay, I forgive you for choosing this moment to reveal your feelings, I forgive you for not coming with me, I forgive you for kissing me period??? What?

I keep going back and forth on it and I NEED to hear what everyone else is thinking. Lay it on me, I’m open to new interpretations because everything hurts and I’m dying.