#and Benny and pretty much every character we meet

[agaypanic]

My Babysitter's a Vampire Simp Headcanons

Masterlist

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***

Benny

Casts spells all the time just to see you smile

FLOWERS!!! So many flowers, conjured at any moment

Your locker becomes a garden tbh

Would do anything for you

If you need help, he’s there in a heartbeat

If you have a problem that can’t be fixed with a spell, he’d probably try to create his own

Favorite pastime is playing games with you

Especially when you’re playing in his room because, more often than not, you’re sitting on his lap

Your guys’ favorite game to play is Minecraft

“Y/n, where are you?” Benny asked as he built a house for the two of you.

“I’m on the other side of the hill.”

“Why are you so far away? It’s gonna be dark soon.”

“This side has more flowers.” He looked at your screen, and sure enough, you were picking flowers in a field. “The house has to be pretty.”

“Y/n, I dunno how to make the house look like you.” Benny pinched your side with his teasing and you giggled, squirming around in his lap. He kissed your temple before going in to start putting structures inside the house. “Now get over here before I have to go get you.” 

Reluctantly, you left the field and made your way to the house. Making sure to close the door behind you, you ventured inside and found Benny’s character in the bedroom.

“Aww! You put the beds next to each other.”

Rory

BIGGEST SIMP OF ALL TIME I SWEAR

The second he sees you, he’s a goner

Benny and Ethan gotta pull him down bc he starts floating

Carries all your stuff without you asking

Walks you to class all the time, even if his class is on the other side of the school

Saves a seat for you at lunch even tho it’s your unassigned assigned seat at the table

Practically has heart eyes anytime he looks at you

Talks about you all the time to his friends

They could be talking about something completely different, but he’s determined to make you the topic of conversation whenever he can

“Oh my gosh, that reminds me of the time Y/n…” and the two things will be COMPLETELY unrelated

You immediately spotted your boyfriend and your friends by your locker when you got to school. Rory seemed to be going off on some tangent, and it must’ve been going on too long because the others looked like they were about to murder him or themselves. To spare your friends, you walked fast to meet them. Rory sensed you before you could speak, turning to look at you with vampire swiftness.

“Y/n!” He looked at you like a puppy who hadn’t seen its owner in hours. When you were close enough, he peppered your face in kisses, much to the group’s disgust.

“Hey, Rory.” You laughed when he eased up on the affection, moving to greet everyone else. “Hey, guys.” They replied with their own greetings while you opened your locker. With each book you took out, Rory immediately took it from you without saying a word. “Rory, baby, you don’t have to.”

“Oh, but I insist, honeybunch.” The warning bell rang, and everyone dispersed. Rory walked you to your first period, something he did every day without fail.

“Okay, you better go. I don’t want you to be late.”

“Don’t worry, sweet thing. That’s what superspeed is for.”

“Superspeed you shouldn’t be using in public.” You took your books from Rory and gave him a kiss to tide him over for the next hour. “See you after class?”

“Always, baby.”

Ethan

Soooo nervous about being around you

Whenever he touched you, he’d get visions of the two of you together

That just made him fall harder for you

Makes flirty remarks based on his powers

“I had a vision we made out” kinda stuff

Memorizes everything about you

He believes every detail is important

Whenever he’s around, don’t even think about paying

Even if he’s broke, he’s paying for your stuff

You and Ethan were in line at some fast food place, all he could afford. You would’ve offered to help pay but knew attempts would be futile. As nice as Ethan was, he was also stubborn. Soon it was your turn to order, and you didn’t even speak, Ethan relaying your regular order perfectly, down to what sauce you wanted. He then let you lead him to whatever booth you wanted.

“You know, I don’t mind paying one of these times.” You commented before taking a sip of your drink. Ethan shook his head, dismissing the thought.

“Y/n, for the thousandth time, it’s fine. I really don’t mind.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.” Your boyfriend grinned, reaching to take your hand. He looked down, watching his thumb rub back and forth over the back of your hand. You saw a slight smirk and knew what was coming. “I just had a vision.”

“Oh really?” You bit back a laugh, flipping your hand over to interlock your fingers. “What happened in this vision of yours?”

“Well, first of all, the food is very delicious.”

“Oh, good.”

“And second, I ask you something very important.” This piqued your interest very much.

“I think you should ask me now.”

“Sorry, babe, I ask you after we get our food.” As if waiting for the cue, your order number was called. Ethan grinned, kissing your hand as he stood from the booth seat. He left, and when he returned with a tray of food, you were impatient.

“Okay, ask me the question. I wanna know.”

“Okay, okay.” Ethan distributed the food between the two of you before looking at you expectantly. “Who gave you the right to be so pretty?”

“Oh my God, Ethan.”

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Buried Secrets Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Hello my lovelies!

As I’ve recently mentioned, I’ve started planning and researching for my next fic adventure, Buried Secrets. Not to worry, I do still plan to finish up with our dear dancing Dieter before I officially begin to post this one. However, I am currently working on the characterization for Frankie and Mya in addition to developing the plot outline so that I have some time to stew on it.

Something fun that I did for Closed Position was a ‘Meet the Characters’ post. It really helped me get to know the characters a little better while also introducing them to you all before we dug into the story. So, without further ado, let’s get to know Frankie and Mya a little bit!

About Frankie Morales in Buried Secrets

Frankie wasn’t in the best place after he and the guys came back from South America. He felt a lot of guilt over what happened to that fucking asshole Tom and the men who were killed in the small village where he crash-landed the chopper. He still has it in his head that he took the first shot that was the beginning of Tom’s demise. Because of that, he had a little slip up and relapsed. It only happened once, but it was enough for his lady to leave him. Especially since she was already angry about him going to South America.

After losing his family, he realized he needed to get his shit together and figure his life out before he spiraled any further. He worked to get his pilot’s license back and also had the brilliant idea to start a private security business. He managed to convince Santi, Will, and Benny to join him in the new business venture.

Thus far, the business has been lucrative, allowing them to expand and take on able veterans who needed employment. They have created a pretty sizable team as a result. Benny and Will typically handle the day-to-day people part of the job while Santi is in charge of logistics. Frankie is the boss and gets final say on everything. If his gut tells him it’s a bad idea, he no longer hesitates to shut things down. He’s not willing to take unnecessary risks.

In order to keep himself busy (and away from drugs) Frankie helps Benny with his MMA fight training. He spends lots of time in the ring sparing and working out with Benny to keep his friend focused and in shape.

When Frankie isn’t training with Benny, he’s working on an old muscle car that he recently purchased. It needs a ton of work, but he’s got the time and needs the distraction. When he’s not working on his car, he’s with the guys at the local bar. He often plays darts to unwind and usually tries to keep his drinking to a minimum, if he even drinks anything at all. It’s on these nights when the guys reminisce and talk about Tom. He was an asshole, but he was still their captain and brother in arms after all.

Frankie has also begun to spend a lot of his time at the local gun range. He’s found that something about it helps calm and center him. It allows him to clear his mind and focus on hitting the target rather than his painful memories. In a strange way, it gives him a small piece of military life that he’s missing as a civilian.

Frankie often thinks about the money that they left in the mountains of Chile. He knows that the money could change all their lives in ways he can’t even fathom. He lays in bed at night going through every possible scenario for getting it back, but everything he comes up with feels too risky. He’s too afraid of losing another one of his teammates. So, he lets it fester. It’s a splinter which is slowly infecting his soul. It makes him angry that they lost so much for nothing. It dictates every decision, often forcing him to take the safest route on all things out of fear and makes him second guess his choices. It's a touchy topic for him that he immediately shuts down each time Santi brings it up.

Even though Frankie is now free to be with others, he actively avoids it. He is lonely but doesn't feel he is in a place to pursue anything serious...or casual for that matter. He is completely taken off guard the day Mya Carnahan waltzes into his place of business asking to speak directly to him regarding the specialized security services he offers. She makes him question everything about himself and what he knows about women.

About Mya Carnahan in Buried Secrets

Mya is going to be a little different than all my other OFCs. While they are all badasses in their own way, Mya will definitely take the cake. However, she does have somewhat of a shady past.

Mya's first choice of profession was in law enforcement. During this time, she joined the forces' SWAT team, allowing her to learn many special skills. She eventually gets caught up in a whirlwind romance with one of her arrestees, Damien, who turns out to be a rather charismatic individual that is involved in selling black market antiquities.

As Damien lures Mya deeper into his world, her love for history grows. She takes advantage of the large sums of money she begins to rake in as a black market dealer and puts herself through college in pursuit of a more reputable profession in archeology. She wants to be the person to find the artifacts, and maybe collect some things to sell on the side too.

As Mya delves into the myths and legends of ancient civilizations, she learns about the lost city of Paititi. She becomes almost obsessive over it, convinced she knows where to find it. It becomes her ultimate end goal, she only needs someone to fund a proper expedition to test her theories.

It's because of her relationship with Damien that she gets tangled in a mess that she can't find her way out of. In a transaction gone wrong with a prominent crime lord named Miguel Collazo, Damien runs off with the money and the artifact that Collazo wanted to purchase, leaving Mya to deal with the fallout. She makes a deal with Collazo, agreeing to lead an expedition to find the lost city with promises of finding a treasure like no other. Collazo agrees to be her benefactor for the expedition, with the guarantee of consequences if she doesn't deliver.

Through all of her past experiences, Mya learns how to become somewhat of a chameleon. She can present as a proper and sophisticated antiquities dealer, or she can suit up and handle business. She has a knack for blending in and manipulating situations in her favor to either get what she wants or save herself. In some cases, it’s both.

Mya has been trained to handle a wide variety of weapons and in mixed martial arts. Her favorite hobbies include knife throwing, rock climbing, and riding her motorcycle. She also loves research and solving puzzles. She is intelligent and very good at all aspects of her job, however, she can be extremely stubborn and fiercely independent to a fault.

As you can imagine, Frankie is not prepared when this woman walks into his life. Mya has his head spinning from the beginning and frustrates the hell out of him. Especially when she defies him, insisting he is there to protect her team and not her (because she can take care of herself). These two are so much alike, which creates an interesting dynamic and causes them to bump heads, A LOT. However, they can't help but to be attracted to each other. As we progress through this little adventure their relationship evolves, and they do eventually fall for each other. They will do whatever necessary to keep the other safe as both of their pasts collide, causing all hell to break loose.

I'm really excited to dig into this one and do something a little different. Are you excited yet? How are you feeling about these characters and the plot so far? Do you have any predictions or conspiracy theories (you know I love it when you all come at me with those).

In case you missed any of the teasers/asks that had other little tidbits of info, feel free to check those out HERE. I’ve also started my typical nonsense with collecting vibe posts for this fic (I know how much some of you love those). You can find them HERE.

Until next time, 💜Mysty

🔎P.S. There is a fun easter egg from one of my favorite adventure movies in this post. If anyone can guess it...I will give you another little teaser. 😏

👉 Tagging anyone who interacted with the masterlist and/or teaser post(s). Feel free to shoot me a DM if you would prefer to not be tagged for this fic going forward.

@2birdsofafeather @72scsuze @76bookworm76 @a-beautiful-but-sassy-world @almostfoxglove

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine @annalovesflorida @anniet852 @ashleyfilm @ashlovesdrpepper

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@bunniboo0015 @burntheedges @captainredspade @chaoticfestninja @cheekychaos28

@christinamadsen @copperhalfcent @darkheartgatita @diabaroxa @din-cognito

@elisabethloves @fifitheragertot @for-a-longlongtime @girlofchaos @guelyury

@harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @imdrinkingpedro @jackie923 @janeie87

@jeewrites @jensensational71 @jessthebaker @jessthebaker @joels-darlin

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@sunshinehaze1 @diamondclit0ris @midnightbabylon @nerdieforpedro @cheyennerenee10

[queerstudiesnatural]

i find it so interesting to look at sam and dean's respective views of society and people vs monsters, especially in early seasons, and then how that shifts and evolves throughout the show. like when we first meet them dean is very anti establishment whereas sam is literally studying law at an ivy league college. dean is very vocally anti police, and you're like wow for someone who was raised by an authoritarian father and is trying his hardest to please him this guy sure hates authority. he is aware of and cares about issues like racism and classism. but then when it comes to anyone non human he pretty much has no grey area, he sees them all as monsters to be put down. they are Things and they all killed his mum. whereas sam is pretty neutral about people, he doesn't even seem to be aware of systemic inequalities, he has a more individualistic approach to society. but this means he also sees monsters as individuals, just as capable of being good or redeemed.

This has everything to do with the way they grew up and the challenges they faced that affected them the most. dean's biggest challenge was putting food on the table. dean grew up poor and hungry. he was arrested for stealing, he had to use his body to get by, and he had to starve to try and feed sammy. and sam also grew up poor, but he was somewhat shielded from the reality of it. he wasn't the one who had to get food and pay for the extra week in a motel john left them in. his issues were much more personal. because sam knew he was a freak by all standards, he felt impure, and he knew in his heart that the monsters they hunted weren't too different from him. so his hope was in believing that anyone could be saved. anyone could choose to be good. where dean saw a system, with people in power and people who suffered because of them, sam saw grey individuals, and he was drawn in particular to the ones that had something "wrong" with them (max, madison, the kid from bugs, etc)

dean grew up so isolated that he couldn't be individualistic. he could only look at people from afar and that's why he sees the systems. and the violence he faced wasn't targeted at him personally, it was targeted at people like him. poor people, drifters, queer (or queer-looking) people. sam grew up trying to make connections. he made friends, he wanted an education. he tried so hard to belong.

and it's interesting to me that dean ended up being the one who formed the most personal bonds with people who were different, or ostracised, or monsters. see crowley, benny, charlie, claire.

sam tried to build communities (see his s14 arc) but every time he tried to get close to someone it ended in disaster so he ended up keeping his distance. and building a system. throughout the show he takes on leadership roles, and as time progresses he keeps his relationships more and more goal-oriented. whereas dean ends up forming personal bonds with a lot of people, and focusing less on helping oppressed people in general, and more on saving the individuals he cares about. i'm not saying they switched roles, they both kept their original views of the world, but they shifted towards a more confused and confusing moral compass that pointed somewhere in the middle and made it harder for them to understand each other. and ain't that just what growing up is like. dean cared about the whole world as a teen and young adult, but then that became too much to bear, and he had to focus his energy on his circle of loved ones. still caring about the world, but he had individual connections now and had to prioritise them. and sam still saw the potential for redemption and goodness in everyone, but he grew weary of people too, afraid of them or afraid of losing them, and he built walls. tried to help by giving himself missions rather than getting personally and emotionally involved.

psychologically speaking this show is so rich, the characters don't feel one dimensional (despite some of the writers' best efforts), and following their journey for 15 years means we saw them change and evolve, they don't remain the same people they were in season 1, but they keep some of that, and they just grow organically. sometimes i just love spn

[the-fiction-witch]

Outfit

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny X Reader

Rating Sweet AF

Concept Picking Out Outfits 

I Pulled up the zip on my dress as I headed out to the apartment setting the kettle on the stone top and prepping the coffee cups for this morning, enjoying the short sprint of silence. I heard the bedroom door open and close with its usual creak and I smiled not bothering to look

"Morning"

"Morning" He grumbled back in his usual early morning tone "Coffee ready?" he asks basically looming over me

"Just a minute Benny it's not done yet" I told him giving his chest a gentle elbow as I made the coffee up and handed it over to him

"Thanks Hun" He says quickly taking it and having a few sips leaning on the kitchen counter in his kimono and his boxers his jewellery still around him as it pretty much never leaves him even if he often fiddled with his newest ring as he was not yet used to it being there  "What's happening today?"

"It's Tuesday remember" I told him starting on some toast for breakfast

"Tuesday." he nods "Remind me?"

"You have that meeting." I remind him "With Arthur" I pushed

"yeah" it clicked "Fuck that's today?"

"Yes. at ten" I laughed "And its Quarter to nine, he has an inch about being on time, you need to get across town and you're currently in your boxers"

"Fine" he sighed downing the rest of his coffee "The car's fulled up right?"

"it's half tank yeah"

"That's fine, where's little one?"

"Where she always is" I smiled having my own coffee and I couldn't help but watch, as he headed across the apartment leaning himself over the little wooden crib making sweet little cooing noises which woke her

"Chrisy, Chrisy." he cooes "Hello Chrisy" He smiled picking her up and pulling her to his chest as she woke and began her giggles "Good Morning"  

I couldn't help but smile watching him with her, I remember I was really worried when I first found out I was pregnant, given how he has always been more emotionally distant which isn't a bad thing, I know that's just how benny is. And I was worried that perhaps he'd be distant or struggle when our baby was born but the moment I told him his hard shell cracked and he did his best to be more open with these things and as soon as she was born the shell broke open, admittedly he still struggled but he treated her so sweetly spoiling her with all the affection possible, and he was a very good daddy to her.

"Hello chrisy" He cooes giving her little head kisses "shall we get ready to go out?" He smiled and she happily clapped showing her approval, "yeah? you gonna help daddy with his outfit?" he asked and she clapped giggling away "That's my girl"  I chuckled watching what he does almost every day now taking her with him over to the clean laundry basket digging though it getting out any of his clean clothes "So, What shall we wear today?" He asked her "shall we wear black jeans, blue jeans or black press pants" He says laying them out for her and she grabbed the black jeans "Ohh thank you chrisy" he smiled putting them to the side and putting the rest back in the basket "What about shirt? shall we wear the green shirt, the grey shirt, or the black t shirt?" He offered laying them out for her and she picked the green "Ooh good choice chrisy." he smiled putting them on the side and the rest away "Now, shall we wear boots, lace ups?" he asks taking her to the shoes by the door "which ones are going with this outfit?" he asked and she picked the boots "Good girl" He smiled kissing her head "Now you sit with mummy while she does your breakfast and daddy will get dressed" He told her sitting her in her high chair and taking his clothes to the bedroom I gave her a cuddle and her breakfast bottle until he returned in the outfit she picked out for him and she giggled like crazy "There we go, does daddy look handsome chrisy?"

"He looks very handsome doesn't he chrisy?" I smiled

"Lets pick out little ladies outfit" he smiled picking her up again giving her kisses as he took her to her little draws "what does my little lady wanna wear today?" He asked letting her look though all her clothes and she picked out a little dress and some socks "Aww beautiful chrisy" he told her getting her dressed into the outfit she picked out. "There we go, what's mummy think?" He asked holding her close

"You both look lovely" I laughed "make sure to take her little coat too" I remind him

"I'm taking her coat." He says getting both his and her coats "Come on then little lady," he smiled "See you later hun" he says giving me a kiss

"Have a good day benny, you be good chrisy" I told them giving them each a kiss

"she'll be a good girl, I'll bring milk" he says heading off to his meeting with chrisy cuddled in his arms.

[latibvles]

8. What were their first impressions of each other? For Willie and Brady please.

Listen I love all your characters and all the ships and I keep meaning to pick another couple, but I just can’t help it. 🤭 I just adore Willie and Brady too much. And I just gotta pick them for every prompt.

ok so I actually wrote a little bit of Brady seeing Willie for the first time here (which is funny because you also get a bit of background June/Benny, and then less-background Viv/Bucky) — but we can get into “official” first meetings too. it’s very funny to me because i have gone on the record saying to many-a-discord friend that willie thought brady was handsome since she first saw him though.

—

Willie’s first impression of Brady is, like most people assume, that he’s a very… serious, no-nonsense guy. Which, I mean, he is, but not all the time. I think for her it’s not an instantaneous “I’m extremely comfortable with him” because Willie takes a while to get comfortable with anybody, but Brady isn’t shy or reluctant to express the respect that he does hold for her and the other female pilots. He compliments their flying in that very frank way that he does and she gets the impression that he’s also pretty direct — which she appreciates.

Brady, were it not for the assurances of one Vivian Savorre, would have assumed that Willie did not like him at first: then he learns that she just has RBF. As far as first impressions though he makes the accurate assumption most do that she isn’t much of a talker and more of a listener. Willie plays her cards close to her chest & I think he gathers that it’s not like she’s doing it because she has a dark secret but more that she’s just observant — and this is further cemented when she looks at him and goes “You were saying something?” after Brady is unintentionally cut off by someone else in the conversation.

OTP ASKS.

[albertasunrise]

Please do more hurt frankie fics like should of listened.

So much potential with the crash and/or the drugs but no one writes any without OCs or readers

Healing Hands - Oneshot

Masterlist

Summary: Andy Simmons was in love with Francisco Morales but he didn’t even know she existed. Yet one night changes everything.

Relationships: Frankie Morales x (OFC) Original Female Character

Notes: Takes place a few years before the movie. For purpose of the story. Will, Frankie and Santi are the same age. (I half assed proofreading this so soz in advance)

Andy had loved Frankie from afar for as long as she’d known what love was. He was kind, funny, smart and popular. He was her dream guy but he didn’t know she even existed. 

He was a year above her so there wasn’t any reason for their paths to cross but then shekd befriended Benny Miller and suddenly she was thrust into their world.

“Fella’s, I’d like you to meet Andy Simmons. Andy, this is my brother Will and his buddies Frankie and Santi.” He said as he presented her to them like some prized puppy “Andy here is gonna be tutoring me so I can pass science this year.” 

“Andy huh?” Santi probed and she gave him a shy shrug. 

“Short for Andressa.” 

This brought a small smile to Frankie’s face and Andy swore her ears erupted into flames. Benny couldn’t help but notice how shy she was around Frank and he smirked. Her secret was out. 

“I appreciate you helping this knucklehead.” Will pipped up, pulling And’s attention away from her crush and to him “We’re having a party this Friday… you should come!” 

“Graduation party?” She enquired and he shook his head. 

“Farewell party.” He stated and her brows drew together in confusion. 

“Farewell?” 

“These three enlisted!” Ben stated and her stomach dropped “They're leaving next week for training and our dad’s out of town so we thought one last bash before they sign their death warrants.”

“Don’t say shit like that.” Frankie scorned and Ben shrugged. 

“You’ll be joining next year and you know it.” Santi teased and Andy gave Ben a wide-eyed look “He follows his brother everywhere.” 

“Do not!” Ben argued and Will snorted “What? I don’t!”

“Yet you hang with us every lunch.” Will pointed out and Ben groaned. 

“You guys suck.” The younger Miller grumbled and Andy chuckled. 

The bell ringing had them all walking to class. Andy waved the guys off before slipping into class behind Ben. Sitting through class, she found herself distracted by the fact she was going to a party. That she was going to be spending a night with the guy she was pretty sure she was in love with. 

To say she was excited was an understatement.  

~

She’d picked out the nicest outfit she owned for the Miller’s party. Andy had promised her mum that she wouldn't get into trouble and when Ben had kindly offered for her to stay, telling her a little white lie about his uncle chaperoning, her mum had allowed it. Andy was pretty sure her mum was more excited at the idea of her being invited to a party. Andy wasn't lacking in the friend department. She wasn't ‘popular’ but she wasn't unpopular either. She’d just never really been one for going to parties. So when Ben had dropped Andy off and pleaded with her mum to let Andy come, he'd been a little surprised at how quickly she said yes. 

Andy quickly changed into her chosen outfit, a cute little black dress and her favourite combat boots. She put on a little make-up, checked out her look in the mirror and when she was happy, gave herself a small nod and went downstairs. Her mum was standing in the kitchen sipping at her coffee as she flitted through a magazine but she looked up when she heard Andressa enter. 

"You look pretty." She gushed as she took in her daughter's outfit "Could have picked some nicer shoes." 

"I like these shoes." Andy defended and her mum put her free hand up in mock surrender before taking another sip of her beverage "So is Benny your boyfriend?" 

Andy snorted at that before shaking her head. 

"Nah, he's just a friend. I'm tutoring him in Science but turns out we have a lot in common and kinda hit it off." 

"Sounds like a boyfriend." 

"He already has a girlfriend who's much prettier and a lot more popular than me." She chuckled before grabbing her coat and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Not all guys seek popularity." 

"They always seek looks." Andy scoffed and her mother's brows drew together.

"Andressa, eres Hermosa." (Andressa, you are beautiful) 

"Tienes que decir eso.) (You have to say that.) Andy scoffed "Eres mi Madre." (You're my mother.) 

Benny tooting his horn outside was the cue Andy needed to head out. Giving her mum a hug and a kiss, she sprinted to the door. 

"Stay out of trouble." She called out and Andy waved her off with a 'Yeah mum' before disappearing. 

Ben waved as Andy sprinted to his car, blushing when he whistled at her. 

"Damn Andy, you scrub up good." 

"Shut up and drive Miller." 

"Yes ma'am." 

Fifteen minutes later, Ben had parked up outside his house and they were weaving their way through pockets of people Andy had seen but never spoken to before. 

"Drink?" Ben asked as he motioned at the keg sat in his kitchen. 

"Please." Replied Andy, giving Ben a nod in thanks when he handed her the red cup he'd generously filled with beer. 

"You made it." Called out a familiar voice and she turned to see Will and Frankie making their way over "Glad you came." Said the older Miller as he pulled her into a friendly hug. 

"Thanks for inviting me." 

"You crashing?" Will asked and Ben nodded with her "Cool, so are Frank and Santi." Will stated and Andy felt her pulse quicken. 

"Santi's determined to kick everyone out by 1." Frankie piped up "Can't afford the cops coming over and kicking out asses just before we head off." 

"Definitely not." Will agreed before turning back to Andy "Enjoy the party." 

It wasn't a mad one like Andy had expected. It seemed that the Millers had invited a choice set of people for that very reason and Andy was glad of that. She found herself sitting by the pool later that evening, watching as Ben and Will played ball with some friends in the pool. 

"Didn't fancy playing?" Andy looked up to see Frankie coming over with a soda and a smile. 

"Not really." She replied as she thanked him for the drink and moved up so he could sit beside her. 

"Having a good time?" He asked and she turned her head to look at him, smiling sweetly as she nodded. 

"Yeah, I am." 

Frankie gave her a smile in return and it instantly went to her core. They gazed at each other for a while, static crackling between the two of them before Frank's hand cupped her cheek and he pulled her into the most incredible kiss she'd ever experienced. 

The boy's wolf-whistling stopped that kiss in its tracks and Frankie chuckled as he gave them the finger before pulling back to look at Andy. She was sure she was grinning like a lunatic but at that moment she didn't care. All she cared about was the fact that she'd just kissed Francisco Morales and it was everything she'd ever dreamed of. 

"Wanna go inside?" He asked and she nodded eagerly, ignoring the woos and whistles as Frankie took her hand and led her in. 

He took her upstairs and into what she assumed was a spare bedroom. His duffle sat beside a large oak dresser and what looked like the clothes he'd been wearing that day at school were neatly folded on top of it. 

"Is this okay?" He asked, pulling Andy's attention back to him "We can go back downstairs if you want. Just thought that maybe you'd like-" 

She shut him up with a kiss. She kissed him like it was the last time she ever would because, in reality, it probably was. The kiss became heated when hers and his hands started to roam. She unbuttoned his shirt and almost sobbed at what she revealed. Tanned skin and toned abs had her drooling like a hound. 

"We don't have to..."Trailed off Frankie when her hands went to unfasten his jeans but he got his answer when her hand slipped in and cupped his growing erection. 

"I want to." She whispered and that was all the invitation he needed. 

In a flash, the two of them were naked as the day they were born and Frank's head was between Andy's thighs. His tongue lavished her and Andy was glad of the music downstairs because she couldn't keep quiet if she tried. When Frankie pushed two long, thick fingers into her tight heat she shattered. Andy grabbed at him, desperate to pull him up to her level again and when he kissed her again, she moaned at her taste on his tongue. 

"Are you sure?" He asked one more time as he lined himself up with her entrance. 

"Fuck me, please." She pleaded and with one swift movement, he was seated deep inside of her. 

Now Andy was no virgin. She'd lost that to Sam Collins, her ex but he was tiny in comparison to Frank. She moaned loudly, grabbing the gloves of Frankie's ass and urging him to move. When he started with a languid pace, kissing her deeply as he worked out a rhythm. When he found her sweet spot though, he started to fuck her into the mattress. The sounds he pulled from her with bordering on pornographic and in no time at all she was there again. 

"Frankie... she whined as she threw her head back "Fuck Frankie, I'm cumming."

He focused his attention then, giving her every ounce of pleasure he could. She was squeezing him so tightly that he was sure he wouldn't last much longer but he was determined to make her cum once more time before he did. 

"One more Hermosa." He purred in her ear as his hand travelled down and his deft fingers started to rub her clit. 

The combination of him hitting her G-spot and his fingers giving her the stimulation she needed was all it took to have her gushing over his length. 

"Fuck." Frankie moaned as he sped up his thrusts, chasing his own high "Fuck baby I'm gonna cum." 

"Cum Frankie." Andy pleaded and he did. With one more deep thrust, he painted her walls with his spend and panted against her shoulder "Fuck, that was amazing." 

"I'm sure you've had better." Andy chuckled but Frankie pulled his head back and frowned at her. 

"No." He replied, shaking his head "No I haven't." 

The couple remained that way a little while longer before the two of them fell asleep in each other's arms. Andy knew that this was the one and only time she'd get to enjoy this so she made the most of it. Next week, Frankie would be gone. 

She'd be okay. 

She had to be...

Three years later...

Andy had been surprised when Ben had reached out. She hadn't heard high or tale from any of them in years. Ben had, sure enough, enlisted in the army the following year and that had been that. She'd written to Frankie for the first year he was gone but She had never received a reply. 

She had known from the start that it was a one-night thing but when something came to light two months later. She had been desperate to get hold of him. All of her attempts had come up empty her heart shattered. 

She'd meant nothing to him. 

She moved schools but kept in touch with her friends and kept her head down. Three years later she had managed to make something of herself. She'd opened a cafe in town that had proved popular among the locals and she was thriving. She hadn't needed Frankie or anyone for that matter. She'd made it on her own. 

Ben had arranged to meet her at her cafe on one of her days off. He'd sounded so excited to see her on the phone and she had tried to mirror that excitement but the truth was, they'd all gone radio silent for years and she had moved on. That time in her life was behind her.

Sort of. 

Ben was sitting in the nook when she arrived. He'd spotted Andy through the window and stood to greet her with a wide grin on his face but his expression changed the moment he saw the pram she pushed in front of her. 

"You're a mum." He stated dumbly, taking in the napping toddler before his eyes drifted to her. 

"Nice to see you too Ben." She snorted as she rolled her eyes at him. 

'I'm sorry it's just... Well, I wasn't expecting you to have a kid." He said as he pulled Andy into a friendly hug.

The child in question started to stir in her pram, brown eyes suddenly blinking up at the shocked man across from her. 

"Hi." She said sleepily as she gave him a small wave and he smiled and waved back. 

"Hi, there sweetie." He said as he crouched to her level "And what's your name?" 

"Juana." She replied and Ben grinned at her.

"What a pretty name." He gushed "And how old are you Juana?"

She held up two fingers, just like how her mum showed her and Andy couldn't help but chuckle.

"Two?" He stated and she nodded shyly "Wow, that's big." 

"No." She argued, pouting at the younger Miller "I'm little." 

"Yes, you are Mija." Andy said as she leaned down to pull the toddler out of her pram "Quieres una galleta?" (You want a cookie?) 

"Ce mama." She nodded and Andy smiled.

"Go pick one then." Andy said as she placed the toddler down and giggled as she tottled over to the till. 

"So you have a two-year-old?" Ben asked and Andy nodded. 

"Where's the dad?" He asked and Andy froze. 

After the radio silence from them all. She'd decided to keep Juana's existence to herself. She had never expected to see any of them again so now that she was standing with Ben, watching her daughter pick dance around with Anna her favourite barista. 

"He uh, well he kinda took what he wanted a left." She stated, trying to keep the details as vague as she could "Tried to reach out but he didn't want anything to do with me or her so..." 

"Shit Andy." Ben said as he pulled her into a warm embrace "Well she's cute as hell and clearly a great kid so clearly you didn't need him." 

"Thanks, Ben." 

The two of them sat down, Andy thanking Anna when the woman brought over her favourite coffee and her toddler who was munching on her cookie of choice. Juana decided to sit on Ben's lap whilst he told her about his time in the army. How he'd quickly moved his way up along with the rest of them and you found yourself proud of everything he'd achieved in two short years. 

"They all say hi by the way." Ben piped up as he downed the last of his coffee. 

"That's nice." Andy replied and Ben frowned at her response.

"You don't sound like it is." 

"It's just... I wrote to you... and Frankie, several times and I never got a response." 

"Well, when Will, Frankie and Santi arrived, they'd ended up getting shipped off to a different camp for basic training. Wasn't long after that that they were sent on their first tour so good chance he never got 'em." Ben stated plainly and you suddenly felt sick "As for me. I uh... I did get your letters and I did write back I just... Well, I could never bring myself to actually send them."

"Why?" She asked and Ben shrugged.

"I dunno. Wish I could give you a good reason but I can't." He replied "Just a shitty friend." 

"Bad word." Juana piped up and Ben chuckled. 

"You're right... Sorry sweetheart." 

"When you see Frankie... Will you uh, will you ask him if he got them?" Andy asked and he nodded. 

"Sure."

The two of them spent another two hours catching up before they had to part ways. Ben promised to keep in touch and so did Andy but they both knew that it was one likely to be broken. 

Life simply got in the way. 

Four years later... 

"Juana... You're going to be late!." Andy called up the stairs.

"Five minutes." Her daughter called down. 

Andy was secretly glad her daughter was taking her time. She couldn't believe that she was starting the 1st Grade. It felt like just yesterday she was handed to her screaming and furious in the hospital. A horn sounding outside alerted Andy to Juana's ride and suddenly the woman was practically pushed her six-year-old out the door. 

"Muuuum." Juana moaned and Andy chuckled. 

"Have a good day baby." She said sweetly as she kissed the crown of her daughter's head "Mummy loves you." 

She watched her daughter skip towards her ride and Andy felt her heart ache a little. Time was going so quickly. Next thing she'd know, Juana would be going off to college and she'd be alone. 

That thought scared her. 

Shaking her head, she hopped into her truck and drove to the cafe. Work was always a welcome distraction and when she arrived, she was happy to see her favourite regulars already sipping at their coffees and nibbling on the cake of the day. It was busy as always and soon morning faded into afternoon. Andy had just finished putting out some more cookies and cupcakes when the bell above the door rang alerting her to a new customer. 

"I'll be with you in a sec." She said in a musical tone as she twisted the plate so the price was facing forward then when she was done she stood up and gasped at who she saw. 

"Andy?" 

There, standing before her, plane as the day was Francisco Morales. He looked different. He was more filled out. The sleeves of his T-shirt stretched over strong biceps and for a moment she almost forgot that he'd completely blanked her for the last six years. 

"Frankie." She replied, giving him a small nod "What can I get you?" 

"Really?" He asked with a scoff and Andy frowned. 

"Really, what?" 

"We haven't seen each other in like seven years and that's what you say to me?" 

"What else should I say?" You snapped, anger bubbling under the surface.

"Oh, I don't know." Frank shrugged "How about, wow, it's been a long time. How are you?" 

"Okay." She said in a mocking tone "Hi Francisco. It's been a long time. How are you? Thanks for fucking me and then never speaking to me again." 

"I-" 

"Oh, on the subject of never speaking to me again. Did you get any of the dozen-odd letters I sent?" 

"You wrote me?" He asked, brows pulling together "I didn't get them," 

"Convenient." You scoffed "Did you want a coffee or?..." 

"Black... please." He said and Andy nodded before turning around to make his drink. 

Frankie watched her work. His heart aching from how poorly this reunion was going. Ben had mentioned that she had opened a cafe and so when Frankie had been discharged. He knew he had to see her. 

"I'm sorry I never got your letters." Frankie piped up but Andy didn't acknowledge she'd heard him "What did they say." 

"Mummy look what I did at school." Screamed Juana as she sprinted through the door of the cafe waving a painting above her head. 

Andy placed the coffee on the counter before opening her arms to accept the hug her daughter gave her. 

"Look, Mumma. It's us." She said as she shoved the picture into Andy's hands. 

"This is lovely, baby." She said as she placed a kiss on her daughter's brow "Let me just finish serving this customer then you can tell me all about your first day, okay?" 

"Is Anna here?" She asked and Andy nodded "In the back." 

Juana sprinted through the arch that led into the back, screaming Anna's name as she waved her painting again. Andy smiled at her daughter's retreating form before turning to find Frankie staring at the spot you'd been the moment before. 

"Frank?" 

"Is she mine?" He asked, taking Andy by surprise.

"What?" 

"She's what, six?" He asked and Andy nodded "So is she mine?" 

"Yes..." Andy whispered and that drew Frank's gaze. 

His eyes were brimming with tears as they flitted between the door and her. He had a six-year-old daughter. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He choked and Andy lost it. 

"I did!! I wrote to you. Sent you sonogram pictures." She sobbed "I tried tracking you down but everyone I spoke to told me that they couldn't tell me where you were." 

"I-" 

"Besides." Andy interrupted "You didn't try and get hold of me. We had one incredible night together and then that was it. Radio silence for seven years. Shit, Francisco. I had to carry her and give birth to her without you. I had to move schools. My mum didn't want me to get bullied so instead I was sent to some private school where I was teased for being a pregnant seventeen-year-old." Andy was sobbing openly now, seven years of heartbreak pouring out of her "So don't act like the victim Frank because you aren't. I did everything I could to let you know about her." 

"Why didn't you tell Ben when you saw him last?" He asked and you shrugged. 

"Honestly?" He nodded and you sighed "I'd assumed you didn't care about me so I decided that she was better off without a dad. We've been fine without you Frank and we'll be good when you leave again." 

"I was discharged." Frankie piped up and And's brows rose in surprise "I'm out. For good."

"That's great." She scoffed "So what ?" 

"So, I want to know my daughter." He stated plainly "I missed out on six years. I don't want to miss another day." 

"You can't be serious?" Andy growled. 

"I'm her father... I have a right to know her." 

"You have zero rights, Francisco." She snapped "You're not on her birth certificate. She doesn't even know you exist." 

"Andy please." The man pleaded "Please." A thick silence hung over them both a moment before he spoke again "Can I just meet her at least?" 

Andy thought about his request a moment. He looked so heartbreakingly sad that she felt herself breaking. 

"I swear to you." He implored again "I didn't get your letters. If I had known about her then I wouldn't have stayed away." 

"I don't know Frankie, I-" 

"She doesn't need to know who I am." He pushed "I never stopped thinking about that night." This grabbed Andy's attention and she studied him as if trying to find the lie "It meant a lot to me. I'd never felt a connection like that before and I haven't since." 

"Sure Frank." You scoffed but that look he gave you that night returned. 

"I haven't." He assured her and Andy felt her defences fall "Please." 

"Okay." Andy stated, her eyes drifting to the back "Juana." She called out and Frankie's heart leapt at hearing his daughter's name "Can you come out here a sec." 

Not two minutes later, an excited six-year-old emerged with a wide smile on her face. 

"Yes, Mumma?" She said sweetly as she looked at her mum and then at Frankie. 

"I want you to meet someone." Andy said softly as she guided her daughter to stand in front of her "Juana, this is Frankie." 

"Hi." She said softly, giving the man a shy smile. 

"Hi to you too." Frankie said as he kneeled so he was eye-level with her "It's nice to meet you." 

"How do you know Mumma?" She asked, her head tilting to one side. 

"We went to school together." He replied, eyes drifting to Andy who was watching over the interaction. 

"Juana." Andy said softly as she kneeled so she too was at her daughter's level "Frankie is your daddy." 

This took Frank by surprise. He had been ready to just meet her as a stranger. 

"My daddy?" Juana asked and Andy nodded.

"Yeah, baby." 

"Where have you been?" She asked, her tone almost accusing and Frankie couldn't help but smirk.

"I've been away sweetie but I'm back now." He said softly as he pinched his daughter's cheek affectionately. 

"Forever?" She asked and he gave her a broad smile.

"Yeah." He said with a nod "Forever." 

"We need to go baby or we'll be late for Abulela." Andy piped up and Juana nodded before throwing her small arms around Frankie's shoulders and giving him a warm hug. 

"It was nice to meet you, daddy." She said before pulling away and running to grab her pack that she'd dropped when arriving. 

"Thank you." Frankie said as he stood up straight. 

"Don't make me regret it." She warned before informing Anna she was leaving "Don't break her heart." 

...

Andy's friendship with Ben had fallen back into place as easily as breathing. He'd been a little hurt at first when he'd learned that the sweet toddler he'd met all those years ago was basically his niece but he'd also understood why you hadn't told him. 

Things with Frankie hadn't been as easy. He was trying but Andy was struggling to trust him. He wasn't the same man she'd loved all those years ago. He was jumpy. Most loud noises triggered some sort of freak out and that, in turn, frightened Juana. She was weary of him but had warmed to Ben instantly. 

This had been hard for Frank to swallow. Leaving the army had been a struggle for him. He had resorted to desperate measures to try and calm to storm that raged in his head but nothing seemed to work. Not even the remedy that was currently burning a hole in his pocket. He wanted to do better. Not just for his daughter but for Andy. He just didn't know where to start. 

...

"How are things with Fish going?" Ben asked as he watched his brother-in-arms play with his daughter. 

"Okay, I guess." Andy replied with a shrug and that piqued Ben's interest. 

"You guess?" 

"He tried." She commended, letting out a long sigh "Lord knows he tries but everything seems to make him jump. He's been a lot better with Juana and I'm really glad they're bonding but I'm scared that one of these days he's going to flip. " 

"We saw some shit, Andy." Ben stated and she listened intently "He got us through some pretty messy situations. We all owe our lives to him." 

"Why was he discharged?" She asked and Ben scraped a hand over his mouth before he answered "Was shot in action. The bullet hit below his vest. Lost a kidney and was in a coma for two weeks." 

Andy gasped. 

"Was discharged with full honours." He stated plainly "Got a fucking medal and everything but that don't get rid of the nightmares." 

"What do you mean?" 

"He's got PTSD babe." Suddenly everything made sense. 

Andy and Ben shared a look that spoke a thousand words. Suddenly, her agitation was replaced with guilt. She'd been too caught up in her own issues to see his. 

"DADDY." Juana screamed, pulling Andy and Ben's attention to the child "Daddy, stop shaking... please daddy." She sobbed as she held his face in her small hands. 

Andy and Ben we at his side in a flash, Ben taking the sobbing child in his arms as Andy stroked Frank's face as the seizure eased. 

"Daddy." The child sobbed and Ben's heart broke for her. 

"Baby. I need you to get my phone and call 911 like I showed you okay?" Andy stated before she returned her attention to Frank. 

"Fish... Fish can you hear me." Frankie didn't answer. 

The man lay there, eyes rolling around in their sockets as he tried to breathe. Andy could feel his pulse was rapid but weak and she felt sick to the stomach. 

Joana's voice floated in the air as she ran back to them "My daddy started to shake and now he's breathing funny." She told the person on the other end as she held the phone to her face with both hands "Yes my mummy and uncle Benny are with him." She said, pausing again to let them speak "Okay." She said with a small nod before holding out the phone to her mum "They want to talk to you." 

Andy took the phone quickly and then listened to their instructions "Sit him up and let him lean against you." She said to Ben, waiting for him to finish before bending his knees "Does he have a heart condition?" Andy asked Ben and he shook his head. 

The next question they asked you made her stomach sink. 

Had he taken anything? 

She started to rummage around in his pockets only to come up empty but just when she was about to give up, she felt something. Pulling it out she choked back a sob at the bag of white powder she found. 

"What's that mummy." Juana asked and Andy sobbed. 

"It's nothing, baby." She said before giving her daughter a weak smile "I need you to go stand by the door and wait for the ambulance. Can you do that baby?"

"I wanna stay with Daddy." She sobbed and your heart broke just a little more.

"I know you do baby but daddy needs you to do this for him okay?" 

She nodded and Andy gave her a sweet smile before watching her sprint back towards the house. 

"Fish?" Called out Ben suddenly and Andy turned to look at the two men "No, come on Frank." He pleaded. 

Frankie's eyes were open wide as he tried and failed to breathe. 

"Come on Frankie, you need to breathe for us." Andy begged as fat tears slipped down her swollen cheeks. 

"OVER THERE," Joana called out and the duo looked up to see the paramedics sprinting towards them. 

They were quickly pulled to one side and Ben lifted Juana and held her close as the three of them watched the medics work. 

"What's his name?" They asked and Ben was quick to answer. 

"Frankie." He choked and the medics nodded 

"Age?" 

"27." 

"Has he taken anything?" 

"This?" Andy stated as she handed them the bag, her eyes pleading for them to be mindful of what they said. 

"He's seizing." Called out one medic and Andy sobbed harder as Frankie's body started to shake. 

"Daddy." shrieked Juana as her brown orbs leaked masses of tears "Daddy, stop shaking." 

"Please take her inside." Andy pleaded and Ben nodded, carrying the screaming child into the house. 

...

Three hours later, Andy was sat in a hospital waiting room with both the Millers. Will was holding Andy whilst Ben cuddled a sleeping Juana and time seemed to go at a snail's pace. Because of this, Andy was able to think about what she was going to do or say to Frankie if she ever saw him again. 

She was angry at him for his choice of coping mechanism but mostly she was angry at herself. She had been so caught up in her own hurt that she had failed to see that Frankie was hurting. The fact that she hadn't figured out for herself that he had PTSD made her hate herself even more. All the signs had been there. 

She'd just failed to see them. 

"Family of Francisco Morales?" Called out a doctor and they all looked up in unison. 

"Yes," Andy replied as she raised her hand a little and she gave the doctor a weak smile when he approached them. 

"How is he doc?" Asked Will and the doctor sighed. 

"He suffered a massive heart attack on the ambulance ride over." The man stated and they all sobbed "His heart is weak but there doesn't appear to be any permanent damage." That elicited a sigh of relief and Andy sobbed into Will's shirt "He's going to need therapy. We would recommend sending him to a facility for veterans with PTSD. There are programmes for people like him." 

"People like him?" Ben growled and the doctor threw his hands up. 

"I meant no offence." He replied "I just mean... He needs help. It's clear he's not coping well."

"We'll help him." Andy pipped up, knowing in her heart of hearts that it was the right thing to do "We'll take care of him." 

"Okay." The doctor replied, "A nurse will fetch you when he's ready for visitors." 

Half an hour later they were let to the ICU. Frankie's frail form was smothered in wires and tubes. The gown swallowed him and made him look so small despite his muscular build. Andy entered first, followed closely by Ben who was carrying a, very awake, Juana. 

"Daddy?" She called out but Frankie didn't even twitch. 

"Daddy's sleeping right now." Said Ben softly and the little girl nodded.

"Can I lay with him?" She asked and Ben shared a look with the nurse who gave him a small nod. 

"You can but you need to be careful okay baby?" Andy stated. 

"I will, I promise." 

Sure enough, she laid down beside her father, extra careful not to pull on any of the wires and tubes that were attached to him. Andy watched with fondness as Juana started to sing him the song she always sang when she was sick. Her small hand affectionately petted his brown curls as she leaned on the other one. 

"She's a great kid." Ben cooed and Andy smiled at him. 

"Yeah... she really is." 

An hour into their visit, Ben and Will went in search of decent coffee leaving Juana napping beside her father and Andy waiting patiently for Frankie to wake up. 

Frank groaned. His senses hit him all at once. Andy was at his side in a heartbeat, taking his hand in the hope it would ground him a little as he came around. 

"Frankie?" She called softly, careful not to wake Juana "You with me?"

Frankie nodded weakly before motioning to his mouth, unable to speak just yet. Andy grabbed the bowl of ice chips beside his bed and popped a few in his mouth. When he'd had enough, she placed the bowl down and resumed her seat beside him. Silence blanketed them for a while before she decided to break it. 

"Why Frankie?" She asked, "Why did you think coke was going to make things better." 

Frankie's eyes drifted to his dosing daughter and his guilt consumed him. The truth of the matter was he didn't know why he'd resorted to such a lousy coping mechanism. It didn't help him. It just made him more paranoid and yet he'd found that he'd not been able to function without it. Now as he lay in that hospital bed, stroking his daughter's curls he realised how much he had to lose. 

"Please don't take her away from me." He said, his voice loud enough for Andy to hear him "I'm so sorry. Please... please don't take her away from me." 

"Oh, Frankie." Andy sobbed "I will never ever take her away from you." She promised and it was Frankies turn to cry "We'll get through this." She assured him "Together." 

"Daddy?" Said Juana as she rubbed her tired eyes. 

"Hi, baby." He said sweetly as he gave her a warm smile. 

"You better?" She asked and he gave her a small nod. 

"I am thanks to you." 

5 years later... 

Andy jumped when she felt two arms wrap around her middle but then she hummed when she felt a warm kiss press against her neck. 

"Good morning wife." Frankie cooed as he buried his face in her neck. 

"Mmmm, morning husband." 

"And how are my girls this morning?" As his gaze drifted to the baby that was sleeping soundly against Andy's chest. 

"We are perfect." She replied as she turned her head to kiss him, smiling when she heard Juana enter. 

"Ewww... get a room would you." The eleven-year-old moaned as she grabbed her backpack from the side.

"Technically, we're in one." Frank countered, sticking his tongue out at his daughter when she did the same to him. 

"Where's your brother?" Frankie asked as he looked around for the toddler. 

"HERE!" Mateo screeched as he waddled into the room, clutching his favourite bear. 

"You want breakfast Mijo?" Andy asked as she carefully handed the newborn to her father. 

"Ce, mama." Mateo replied as he nodded eagerly. 

"Ana?" 

"I'm good thanks." She replied before grabbing the last of her books and shoving them into her pack. 

"See you later." She called out before dashing to the door. 

"When did she start hating breakfast time?" Frankie asked as he placed a soft kiss on his daughter's brow as her face started to scrunch. 

"Right around the time she discovered boys." Andy chuckled.

"She better not have." Frank grumbled and Andy laughed loudly, Mateo mimicking his mum "You'll never like boys... will you Mija?" He asked as he bounced his tiny daughter in his arms. 

Looking at his wife, he thought back to five years ago when she'd promised him that they'd get through it together. He had gone to rehab. Gotten clean and proposed a year later. It wasn't long after that, that they learned she was pregnant with Mateo. He had been just the blessing they had needed. The final piece of the puzzle and then three years later... Mariana was born. His perfect little angel. 

One last little blessing. 

His life was exactly as he had dreamed it would be one day. Andy and him and the beautiful children they had created together. Life was perfect and he vowed that he would never do a thing to jeopardise it again. 

Fate had other ideas. 

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[bks-blogs]

Top Cat and Gang in the 101 Dalmatian Street Universe

Might as well introduce the entire Top Cat gang in their charming, 101DS-esq art style! We've got the whole gang here: T.C., Benny the Ball, Choo-choo, Spook, Fancy Fancy and Brain.

You may notice that Brain, Spook and Cooch are female in this pic! That's because their designs take heavy inspiration from Jellystone. This is a no brainer to fans who have watched the show on HBO max when you look more closely at their look and designs!

Let's go through each one of our colorful six pack of felines, shall we?

I'm pretty sure very few had wondered what Hanna Barbera's coolest cat would look like in the 101 Dalmatian Street Universe. Well, this is pretty much your answer. Top Cat has been one of my few favorite Hanna-Barbera cartoons growing up, and I though "Hey, why not draw this guy in the 101DS-verse on four legs".

Here he is, in 101 Dalmatian Street's adorable art-style, and I gotta admit, I think he fits right in!

Seems like Fergus has got another friend who's experienced with lying and cheating!

Starting first with Top Cat's gang, it's Benny the Ball!

Seeing as Benny is the youngest of the gang as confirmed in the original show, I kinda picture him as a young, blue kitten with a naive, but energetic personality! Not to mention he has a strange taste in music. (Horrible singing, off-key notes, corny music, that kinda thing. 'V('-')V')

His appearance is pretty much the same from the original show, aside from his 101DS artstyle and character.

Next up, we've got Choo-choo! I wasn't sure where to go with this fluffy pink cat, so I thought "ta heck with it" and went with the Jellystone version of her.

I imagine her as an optimistic-type cat, with a nonsensical personality. She tends to slide in some humorous comments especially during some serious moments, but all-in-all she is a sweet-natured cat full of emotions and cares deeply Top Cat and others, even Dylan, Dolly and other Camden citizens she interacts with.

Now we've got the largest, most intimidating cat of the gang: Spooky!

I basically based her personality off of Jellystone and also Big the Cat from the Sonic series. She's basically mute and also a dopey, kibbles-for-brain feline.

Her design is mostly based off of Roxy, with her towering stature and her face. In the 101DS Universe, Spooky is known to make smaller canines nervous and uncomfortable due to her disturbing cross-eyed expression, and her bulking figure, similar to the way Roxy would.

Unlike Roxy though, Spooky always appears oblivious to how others are afraid to even take a step toward her.

Moving along, we got our fabulous, girl-cat-go-getter Fancy Fancy!

Fancy is almost pretty much the same in the 101DS universe: laid-back, kindhearted and undoubtedly handsome, and falls head-over-tail with every female cat he meets. But he also tends to play cool-headed like Hansel.

Fancy-fancy also has utmost desire for poetry like Hansel does. These two tend to get along together, despite Fancy being a member of con-artist's run by T.C.

For Fancy's design, I actually took design inspiration from his earlier character concept art from the original show, where he had stripes to look more like a Tabby Manx. That is of course, until Hanna-Barbera decided to ditch the stripes for Fancy's final design. I'm guess perhaps the stripes would be too hard to animate under a limited budget... I have no idea! :P

Last but not least, we've got our gothic little orange kitten: The Brain!

For the 101DS-Universe, I simply based Brain's appearance and personality off of her Jellystone counterpart in favor over the clueless and dimwitted personality the original Brain had the original show.

I wanted to give Brain a more creative and expressive nature, hence why I threw in different colors of paint on her paws and tail.

With Brain expressing herself through art, I can easily picture her and Da Vinci getting along together, even when she's one of Top Cat's alley gang members, swindling and conning the Camden citizens of their money.

@atomiccartoons

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e4 atomic monsters (w. davy perez)

tumblr trashed my original post, it said it was processing the video but the post disappeared entirely so i'm having to re-write this from scratch. i was able to screenshot what i wrote while it was hung which is something, but this is something that's happened to me a number of times (usually on video focused posts though) and i'm FUCKING SICK OF IT. i always find all the fucking bugs. UGH.

oh, a becky episode. i really, really did not like her character. i understand the intent may have been all in good fun, but i only ever received it as making fun of fans. especially the way her actor played her. and i will never understand the choice to have her drugging and kidnapping sam to marry him.

is dean having an action hero nightmare about all his brothers-in-arms who died on his watch. it's pretty and a+ production values. bunker looks so much cooler in the red lighting. waiting for an explanation on the facial hair, scarf???, tactical vest, fingerless gloves look though. giving very military incursion.

(just noticed this is a jackles directed episode. hmm.)

reminded of that article with serge ladouceur and he mentioned why they didn't use slow motion in fights:

Clearly, your producers always had in their creative vision a show that was dynamic, dark, moody, and expressive. Tell us about the meeting you had early on with series creator Eric Kripke, and how you all found that you were on a similar creative wavelength. Eric wanted the show to be embedded in reality. He didn’t want to create a fantasy world. What he wanted to see were stories where the supernatural would manifest itself in real time and in real life. This is what he wanted to convey and I was in sync with this concept as I was talking about a naturalistic approach to the lighting. Moreover, and as an example, he was against slow-motion. He didn’t want to beautify the fights by camera techniques. Even to this day we sometimes ask ourselves, “What would Eric want?” And that’s one thing.

imagine this doesn't qualify since it's a nightmare/vision/whatever

excuse to get benny back (extremely briefly). and the screechy noise is back too. zero chance i'm getting through this episode in one sitting. (update: this is day 3 or 4, since i had to retranscribe it on top of it all)

am i seeing things or does that look like a keffiyeh. oh, right. the evil!sam vision thing, i forgot about that

lovely lighting and yes to sweaty highlights all day every day

SAM You know, I knew you’d come looking for me. After Sioux Falls… I suppose you had to. DEAN What you did to them… what you did to Bobby… to Jody… SAM They tried to stop me. But I will not be stopped. DEAN Sammy, listen to me. This is the demon blood. You have to fight it!

what year is this now? anyway so is sam gonna tell dean about this nightmare/vision/whatever fuckery orrr.

fingers crossed today is the day i can finally get this episode done. i get halfway into the conversation with dean calling out sam on not being okay and brain is jumping ahead three stations (dean's gonna make an assumption about what's bothering sam and so sam isn't gonna actually tell him what's going on)

SAM Yeah. But every time I ask for it, you say, and I’m quoting, "I don’t want any of that hippie, Sarah McLaughlin grass-eater crap in the Meat Man’s kitchen". Which, by the way, for what it’s worth, you got to stop calling yourself "The Meat Man." It… it doesn’t mean what you think it means. DEAN Yeah, it does.

i mean meat->dick thing i get but does anyone use that phrase

SAM I’m good. DEAN No, you’re not. The past few days, you’ve barely come outta your room. Look, man, I get it, okay? With Jack… and Rowena… Rowena knew what she was getting herself into. She knew what needed to be done. SAM Doesn’t make it any easier. DEAN No, it doesn’t.

so, no on the telling dean about the nightmare/vision whatever. at least in these late seasons, if it's a plot significant thing, i can have some confidence that they will talk about it sooner rather than later instead of dragging it out for half the season. but it also could have been a showy action piece that was fun to make but not really amount to anything :p

SAM That… that’s real bacon, Dean. DEAN You’re damn right it is. Meat Man!

jackles your eyeline is all wonky, what are you even looking at

DEAN Well, local police are freaked. Never seen anything like this. They got no idea how to deal. SAM Of course not. That’s our job. We keep them from dealing with the truth, with what’s out there, and we carry the weight. It’s great. Meanwhile, they get to go back to living in their white picket fence bubbles. DEAN You know, ever since you were a kid, you wanted to live in a town like this. Lame, normal… SAM Yeah, we don’t get normal. And these towns, everything’s the end of the world. You’re late for work, your kid doesn’t get into the right school… whatever. They don’t… They have no idea what’s out there.

that's a lot more bitter than sam usually goes. must be feeling really disillusioned

well, things are looking up on the becky front. first impression seems like she gets to be an actual human now instead of just a breathless obsessive creepy fan

BECKY You mean my work. Look, what you were writing, it was real… like, really real. You sort of channelled Sam and Dean’s lives because you’re a prophet. CHUCK I… Yeah. Yes, I am. BECKY And, sure, I got a little obsessed, and it took me to a dark place. What I did to Sam… [shudders] So, after some pretty intensive counselling, I realized I wasn’t in love with the real Sam Winchester. I loved his character. So instead of reading your stories, I kept writing my own.

well, i appreciate they acknowledge that plotline was gross and awful, if we're supposed to like her now

CHUCK Your own… “Supernatural”? BECKY Where the guys didn’t have to hunt monsters all the time. They just sit around and do laundry and talk, you know? I mean, that’s what people like the most, anyway.

show could take a smidge of its own advice here. like with the xfiles, you needed those goofy ass episodes to take the edge off the mytharc that you couldn't quite do with the monsters of the week alone. spn humor doesn't hit that spot (for me, at least) so how about just a little domesticity as a treat instead. like 11x04 baby

CHUCK Well, I mean, people like monsters. BECKY Meh. Anyway, I got an online following, and it wasn’t paying the bills, so I started making these handcrafted miniatures. They took off, started turning a profit, and here I am. CHUCK Right. Right, right, right, right, right. But people like monsters though. They do. I mean, Leviathans are cool. What? They’re all teeth!

first the bmol shade, now the leviathans. yes, thank you

CHUCK Things were said. Uh… Now I’ve found msyself low on, um… resources. I went to ask my sister for help, and she rejected me. ‘Cause she sucks. And now I’m just… stuck. So, I thought I’d come see you, my number-one fan. And, I don’t know, see if you can help make me feel big again. BECKY So, you want me to… fluff you?

uh huh.

CHUCK I mean, no. BECKY You do. You thought you could just come back to me, your pathetic ex, your number-one fan, and get what you’ve always gotten from me… a nice big crank on your ego. CHUCK Well, I mean… BECKY Well, sorry, that’s not me anymore, Chuck. I am married to an amazing man, I have two great kids, and I like myself, Chuck. For the first time in a long time, I like myself. So, I don’t need you.

tell him, becky. good for her. now this is a character flip flop i am 100% on board with and won't question

BECKY I’m a writer, too, Chuck. CHUCK Oh. I mean, fanfic… it’s not really the same thing… BECKY Writing’s writing.

100%. the rest of her speech is very boiler plate online writing advice but sure. the show does get kind of navel gaze-y meta about writers/writing

BECKY Okay. If I had to give one note… the jeopardy, Chuck. It’s feeling a little… thin? Low stakes? It’s fun to hear the boys’ voices, but a story is only as good as its villain, and these villains are just not feeling very… dangerous? Not to mention, there’s no classic rock. No one even mentions Cas. The climax is a little stale. Boys tied up again while we get the villain’s monologue, which, frankly, isn’t one of your best. A little originality wouldn’t… … hurt.

all-in on the meta shade

HENRY You don’t have children, do you? Because if you did, you would know, that to see your child in pain rips your heart out. And you’d know that you’d do anything. You’d die for them. JANET Or kill for them.

lol kids or (some) brothers

so the kid is offering himself up to be killed, like madison. ok. the music for the montage at the beginning i was groaning at generic rock instrumental but once the lyrics kicked in it was perfectly serviceable. and i see it's radio company/aka jensen's band's song. which the wiki talks about it was not at his behest. it's a little odd but his voice doesn't sound anything like dean, so it's not like it's noticeable. i had no clue until i read the trivia bits for it.

“To be honest our editor inquired about it. He said, ‘I know you did some music over the break, do you think we could take anything and plug it in?’ I wasn’t angling for that, I wasn’t pushing that, and in fact we didn’t even tell Bob or Andrew or anybody. We just floated it in there and waited to see if anybody said, ‘I don’t really care for that song, I don’t know who that is,'” Ackles says. “And nobody said that.” In addition to “Sounds of Someday” Ackles says he had a few other music cues in his director’s cut, including a big one at the end. “Two of the three got taken out; mine was the last one standing,” he says of his new single. “That was a small victory. That was a nice vote of confidence, especially from a show that prides itself on music so much.”

cringed a bit and felt guilty with that last line, being how consistently i've ragged on the music in this show. the licensed stuff usually is good to okay, occasionally i disagree with the tone. but it's the original score i take issue with for the most part. but still :p

and chuck zapped becky and family to i guess not dead-"away"

right, i stopped watching this (two nights ago now) because we're talking about being suicidal, again

SAM Yeah. What Henry did… we’d have done the same thing. For Jack. If we had the chance. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, we would. Look, man, I get it. I get it. We have lost way, way too much. And it’s hard not to feel like just… cashing out. I felt like that. After Chuck, back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back? You did. By sayin’ that what we do still matters.

before i rant about the music and shots, i went and rewatched that scene in the crypt which i thought was 15x01? i don't know what dean's referring to though, because they don't really talk about it? maybe like, 14x20 in the cemetary with the stupid gun? dean almost killing himself to kill soulless!jack? or maybe the lead up to sam shooting chuck

on to my rant about the clip. the filming is really weird in this scene. it's shakycam but at times, especially when on dean, it's tilting and floaty in a way that makes it seem like they're not in the car but it's a dream or something. and they have that driving at night film set down pat so it was a choice or something. and the music? buh.

it's a combo of reminding me of the original musical score to the magicians and i believe it's got the spn-interstellar-ish theme again that was in a sam and dean car conversation ([suicidal] deathbed apologies) in 14x12 (this ep is christopher lennertz and philip white, 14x12 was lennertz and tim wynn)

and the dialogue itself is very... speechy. combined with the weird fimilng angles and not getting right up in their business, it's kind of lost that intimacy of the car convo and moved it into inspirational speech

SAM I know, I know, I know. I’m sorry. I know. But… but what I’m saying is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now, that is what I’m feeling, and… and sometimes it’s… it’s like I-I-I can’t even breathe. But maybe tomorrow. You know, maybe I’ll… I’ll feel better in the morning. DEAN And what if you don’t? SAM I don’t know.

and sam describing to me what sounds like flavors of depression and anxiety that i'm personally all too familiar with, it's a lot. the bit about maybe i'll feel better in the morning, reminds me of a song that has struck a chord with me on the depression front for years now. you can't really do anything but try to just keep going even though everything is so hard and hurts

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move Awake, but cannot open my eyes And the weight is crushing down On my lungs, I know I can't breathe And hope someone will save me this time ... But the lows are so extreme That the good seems fucking cheap And it teases you for weeks in its absence But you'll fight and you'll make it through You'll fake it if you have to And you'll show up for work with a smile And you'll be better and you'll be smarter And more grown up and a better daughter Or son, and a real good friend And you'll be awake, you'll be alert You'll be positive though it hurts

and this edit after the s4 magicians finale to this song changed me at a fundamental level (it's a fix-it)

(also on tumblr)

i know jared's history with talking about his mental health, which i've very much appreciated, and feels like bleeding some of that into sam which is a little unexpected but i think it's good, just tilted me a bit because sometimes things that are too relatable are.. too relatable :p

[winchquinn]

Hello hello! I am looking for some more Destiel roleplays because my obsession over these two is my stress relief. I am specifically looking to play Dean Winchester to someone’s Castiel. I’ve got a few plot ideas below, but I’m always happy to build off of your cravings, so let me know what you’re looking for!

About me:

I’m 30, queer, work full-time and have seen every episode of supernatural

I prefer discord for our rp location (add me at winchquinn)

I can write any length, but do prefer the 2-4 paragraph range (outside of intros) because I can respond more frequently

I LOVE plotting & chatting & sharing memes

I am a complete sucker for tropes. Throw any and all my way. There was only one bed, fake relationships, soul bonds/marks, grooming Cas’ wings, bring it all.

I’m also a complete sucker for mixing angst/fluff/humor. Bring me all the hurt/comfort and bickering to cope with trauma

I’m happy to play any side characters we need

Plot ideas

Castiel doesn’t mean to get dragged in to his new neighbor’s business. He really doesn’t. He’s only been in Lawrence for the last week, so drama isn’t ideal. But neither is the way his neighbor is shouting at someone in the drive way at two am, threatening to wake up Cas’ son Jack. When Cas goes to investigate, he meets Dean who is apparently in the middle of a nasty divorce with his soon to be ex-husband Benny who doesn’t seem to get the picture that it’s over. He doesn’t mean to get pulled in to it and he certainly doesn’t mean to fall for a man who’s just getting out of a clearly toxic relationship. Spoiler alert: he does anyway.

Taking over Singer Salvage Yard wasn’t exactly what Dean pictured for his life, but Bobby was more of a father to him than his actual father, so when he leaves the place to Dean, he can’t say no. It’s a pretty good gig all things considered, but what he isn’t expecting is to find a damn robot in the back of a truck he was about to strip for parts. Or the way the robot’s blue eyes spark to life when he touches it.

Getting Cas back from the empty had come at a price, namely offering up part of Dean’s soul to connect them together. Dealing with the consequences of that would have been awkward enough without any additional side effects. Unfortunately, the Empty hasn’t completely lost its hold on Cas as he has no memories of his time with the Winchesters.

Dean has been on scent blockers since he presented as an omega a long time ago. He has no interest in finding his mate after how much it tore his father apart to lose his. But things are about to get a lot more difficult when he finds himself kidnapped by a madman who might as well be a demon. Especially when he finds that he’s not the man’s only victim. (Side note: I will only participate in ABO settings if we don’t have to abide by strict top/bottom dynamics.)

I have no official plot for this, but I’m also craving unhealthy boundaries, obsessions, possessive cat/mouse murder-husband type dynamics

Anyway! If you see anything that sparks your interest, reach out!

[blackfyrerebels]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ benjicot blackwood fic recs *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

fan cast : harry gilby as athelstan (the last kingdom)

if you want your fic removed from this directory, please comment or message.

though these are recommendations, my reviews will be honest and I will mention certain things I disliked. I do not mean this in a hateful way, and I hope I cause no offense with my criticisms.

Series

I Love You, It's Ruining My Life - @yikes-aemond

x reader | second person POV | NSFW | no incest | 16k+ words | 4 parts

Summary: "You meet Benjicot Blackwood in the woods and continue to pine after him for years. " - written by the author

My review: I'm a sucker for seductive hostility and Benny threatens you at knife-point right off the bat... need I say more? Okay yeah maybe I do. This is a roller coaster of sexual tension and mutual infatuation, all culminating in one of the most tense scenes I can remember in fan fiction. Seriously I was on the edge of my seat. For a fairly standard take on the Brackwood dynamic, I still find a lot of intriguing detail in the text and I'm desperate to see how this story ends. My only qualm is the liberal use of consequence-free unconsciousness by manner of getting bonked in the head... Seriously I've been hit so many times you'd think I'd be dropping IQ points by the dozens.

One-shots

The Bridge - @spider-stark

x reader | second person POV | SFW | no incest | 5k+ words

Summary: "Your wardship with House Blackwood was meant to bridge the chasm between your families. Years later, you return to Stone Hedge as the whispers of war spread—only for Lord Tully to call for a hunt." - written by the author

My Review: The GOAT strikes again. Spider-stark continues to prove themself as the MVP of rare character fics with this Montague and Capulet take on the Blackwoods and Brackens. A slightly harebrained scheme from geriatric Grover Tully forms a unique setting for this fic, which is served well by the author's command of language and symbolism. Ben's character shines through beautifully, especially given the fact that we are yet to meet him in House of the Dragon. I'm frankly jealous that I didn't write this myself...

Lady Strong - @spider-stark

x reader | second person POV | SFW | no incest | 3k+ words

Summary: "Stuck in the Riverland's on a marriage tour, you pretend to be Lady Strong when Benjicot Blackwood doesn't recognize you as the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms" - written by the author

My review: Another one from the GOAT themself. This is a pretty short and sweet Benny fic. Ser Lorant Marbrand makes an appearance, which is always a welcome surprise in my book. The thing that really strikes me about this one is Ben's characterisation. It's so easy to make a character cartoonishly shy, stuttering over every word, but this hits that sweet spot of just enough bashfulness to be believable, and just enough confidence to catch you off guard. Very much the Ben of my dreams.

[kkorny]

Wow, I finally got down to listening to the final 2 episodes of S2 of The Far Meridan and it’s really giving us the WLW content we need for Lesbian Visibility day or any day for that matter. Just great job TFM crew and I can’t wait for Season 3!

[mir-osik]

Magic is Here for You and Me - 1

Fandom: Triple Frontier Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader Summary: While on vacation with his friends and daughter, a series of unexpected encounters makes Frankie wonder if 'happily ever after' isn't just for fairytales. Wordcount: 12.9k (Don’t look at me LOL) Rating: 18+ Minors DNI (Mostly soft given the nature of the fic, but there will be some spice at some point so just want to set my boundaries now :)) Warnings: children (Charlotte and her relationships with Frankie and the other guys feature heavily in this story so just in case kids aren’t your thing), widower!Frankie, brief mention of death post-pregnancy, mentions of grief, shorter-than-Frankie reader, eventual smut. The TF boys deserve their own warning.  Read this if you like: meet-cutes, repeated chance encounters, found family dynamics, three four men and a baby, match-making friends, tooth-rotting fluff, Disney World, vacation romances, and hot men being soft men.

Author’s Note: Takes place some years after the events of TF, there’s a minor discrepancy in when Charlotte was born, but it never comes up in the plot so we’re just going to suspend canon for it :) This is a wholly self-indulgent series and I know it won’t be for everyone. I spent a week at Disney World and saw so many hilarious interactions with children and their dads and ended up being super inspired to create an entire ‘The TF boys take Frankie’s kid to Disney World every year for her birthday’ fic and here we are! So this one’s for my Disney bishes who wish they could meet a Frankie Morales at Disney World :) Thank you in advance if you check this out, it’s my first reader fic and Pedro character fic, and I hope you enjoy it!   The title is part of a lyric from the song that plays during the current fireworks show at Magic Kingdom. P.S. Huge shoutout to Ren over at the-ginger-hedge-witch for letting me bother her with all my questions about posting reader fic, warnings, platforms and the like! She’s a gem!

Benny’s Disney World Itinerary: Chapter 1: Disney Springs Chapter 2: Epcot (7/29) Chapter 3: Animal Kingdom  Chapter 4: Rest & Recovery Part 1  Chapter 5: Hollywood Studios  Chapter 6: Magic Kingdom  Chapter 7: Rest & Recovery Part 2  Chapter 8: Epilogue

Disney Springs 

Benny has vacation planning for Charlotte Morales’ Disney World Birthday Extravaganza™ pretty much down to a science now, and thank god for it considering how disastrous the first year had been. He’d made the rookie mistake of cramming too much into too short a trip, and had grossly underestimated how much sleeping an infant actually did. 

And how cranky four grown men could get, even at the happiest place on earth. 

He’s picked up a trick or two over the last few years, like knowing how to cushion for a growing child’s unpredictable moods and naptime schedule, and accounting for the guys’ limits for theme parks and crowds. The end result has evolved into a rather solid itinerary. 

The first day in Orlando is easy, it’s always Frankie, Charlotte, and her honorary uncles checking into their resort by late afternoon. After settling in, they head over to Disney Springs — Disney World’s special retail, dining, and entertainment venue — for dinner and a little shopping. The days following are meant for the parks, with a rest day in the middle and one at the end of the trip before the flight home.

If you ask Frankie, the week is a good length of time to get the most out of not just the parks, but the vacation itself. Benny’s figured out the perfect balance of doing stuff and actually relaxing, and there’s no better remedy for all of the stress and responsibility of work and being a single dad, than having the opportunity to do absolutely nothing. 

They’re staying at Port Orleans Riverside this time, a first for them, and even he has to admit that Benny did well choosing a resort this year. The lobby is massive, the very picture of extravagance with its opulent period rugs and cherry wood furniture. Walking inside is like being transported directly back in time; he keeps expecting sharply dressed men with top hats and pocket watches tucked into their vests to round the corners, or to see women wearing hoop skirt gowns strolling across the floor, parasols clutched in hand. 

It’s silly, because they’re on vacation, but he almost feels underdressed in the faded jeans, gray t-shirt and flip flops he’d worn for the flight. Will lets out a low whistle beside him and Frankie knows without looking that he is sharing the same sentiment as he takes everything in.

Benny comes up behind them, slinging his arms around their shoulders and leaning against them with his sunglasses pushed down to the tip of his nose. The posture of a man entirely pleased with himself. 

“Go on, you can say it.”

“Say what?” Frankie asks, feigning ignorance and fighting back the little twitch of the corners of his mouth.

“That I’m amazing.”  

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Will replies, eyes dancing with mirth.

Benny is quick, tightening his arm around Will’s neck and snagging him in a playful chokehold. “Are you kidding me? For this? At the rate we got? I’ll remember that next year when I get rooms at the Grand Floridian and your wallet weeps, William.” 

Will ducks, twisting out of his brother’s grip and shoving at his shoulder lightly. He chuckles, readjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder and holding his hand up to catch the fist Benny swings in jest in his direction. 

Frankie has to give credit where credit is due, though, and he taps the bill of Benny’s hat. “You did good, Ben.” 

“Finally, someone who appreciates my efforts. Thank you, Fish.”

“I can’t work under these conditions!” Santiago calls, interrupting them. He’s several feet ahead, trying to wheel his two large suitcases and wrangle Charlotte at the same time. “Let’s go, you slowpokes!”

“Slowpokes! Slowpokes!” she giggles.

She looks like she’s doing her best to either pull Santi towards the General Store or escape the hold he’s got on her hand, Frankie can’t tell which. With Charlotte, it could be either or both.

“Why does he need two suitcases?” Will wonders, staring after them. “We’re only here for a week.”

“I’m actually concerned he only has two,” Benny mutters out the side of his mouth.

Frankie nudges him with his elbow. “What you really need to be concerned about is how long it’s going to take him to unpack.”

Will barks out a laugh at that while Benny throws his head back on an aggravated groan. 

“Fucking shit,” he grumbles.

“Come on you, knuckleheads!” 

“Yeah, knuckleheads!”

“Hey, watch that mouth, kid,” Frankie warns Charlotte. He gives Benny a sympathetic pat on the cheek before heading towards the check-in line to join her and Santiago. 

He notes that the lobby’s ceiling is high and only challenged in grandeur by a large, gleaming chandelier that hangs in the center of it. Despite the hour and the current illuminated state of the lobby, it glows warmly with light. His gaze moves to the white pillars lining the inner part of the floor, eyes tracing the ornate gold accents at the top and the thin lines of gold running down around the columns. Above the pillars, on the architrave, are the names of various Louisiana cities done up in elegant, capitalized letters that he can’t help but read while they wait.

Perhaps the most notable design feature, though, resides even further up, where decorative arch panels hide Mickey-shaped heads in plain sight. He makes sure to point them out to Charlotte, hoisting her up onto his hip when she reaches for him so she can get a better look. The way her face breaks into a grin when she recognizes the iconic silhouette serves as a sweet reminder of why they keep doing these trips.

Adjacent to the lobby entrance, a set of doors leads out onto a pier and a little marina with one dock. They were told that a manmade river runs through the entire resort, connecting it to the Port Orleans French Quarter next door. When they get out there, he sees that its waters are murky and dark, the sunlight catching on the rippling surface and making it glimmer a mysterious blue-black hue. 

Automatically, his eyes do a quick scan for gators. It’s unlikely they’ll see any; he knows the resorts have gotten really good about keeping their properties free of them, but he figures it couldn’t hurt just to be safe. He’s been out of active duty for years now, but the instinct to assess potential threats has never really gone away, especially with a small child around. If anything, having Charlotte has only continued to enhance that particular skill set.

The rest of the views are like a scene out of one of Charlotte’s picture books — cloudless blue skies, grassy riverbanks, trees everywhere. Pretty in all its greenness, magical in its tranquility. Impressive, Frankie thinks, and picture perfect. 

As if to prove his point, a very large family stops off on one of the bridges above the river, cellphones at the ready. The chaos of attempting to get everyone into frame makes him glad their own group is so small in comparison.

A cool breeze ruffles his hair, drawing his attention to the way it brushes at his cheeks and offsets the heat of the sun. With it, a sugary sweetness permeates the air and has him lifting his nose up for a deeper inhale. The smell is familiar to him — warm, buttery, comforting. 

Benny grins at him.

“Beignets,” he sighs, as if the scent alone were enough to satisfy his sweet tooth. He points in the general direction of Riverside’s sister resort. “They’ve got Mickey-shaped ones at French Quarter. We can pop in on Wednesday sometime.” 

He tosses a look at Charlotte. “What do you think, Charlie? You want some Mickey beignets?”

“Yeah!” she agrees, nodding enthusiastically.

Frankie’s fairly certain Charlotte has no clue what a beignet is, but he knows that she’s figured out that if her tío Ben is asking, it likely will involve something to her benefit — usually something sweet for them to share. 

As they keep making their way down the pier, he glances over to a quaint, brick-red water wheel attached to the end of the main building. He’s never been to the Old South, which is what the resort is meant to mimic, but he’s once again struck by how charmed he is by all the architecture, vegetation and general ambiance of the property. 

All the thoughtful little details shouldn’t surprise him. If there’s one thing Disney knows how to do, it’s create an experience.

“Daddy, look!” 

Charlie’s little gasp makes his head turn and he catches sight of a cream and blue ferry boat chugging slowly into port. It reminds him that the river serves an additional purpose: providing a water taxi service to Disney Springs. Their resort is the only one with that specific perk, a fact the front desk clerk had made it a point to boast about.

A fact that’s proven to be of extreme interest to Charlotte. She’s already begging for them to take it when they go later, her “Please, please, please, please” combined with her big puppy-dog eyes leaving Frankie and the boys little room to argue or deny her request. 

Frankie sighs exaggeratedly, matching her smile and poking at the dimple in her cheek. The twin to his. 

“If we must,” he says. 

“Yes, Daddy, we must,” she echoes, her serious tone negated by the way she jumps up and down excitedly. “Right, Tío Will?” He’s the closest in proximity to her, so his validation is naturally required.

“That’s right, French Fry, you’re the birthday girl,” Will nods indulgently. 

Charlotte catches one of Will’s hands, pleased by his answer. She keeps chattering absentmindedly at him while they walk — pointing out trees and the birds she spots in them, asking if alligators live in the river, when they can go to the pool, and if she can have a Mickey waffle for dinner.

Will is unbothered by her chattiness, he’s got patience for her in spades and is always attentive like she has the most important things to say. Even when it takes her a hundred years to get a sentence out or she repeats the same thing ten times. Frankie shakes his head in amusement, listening in on their conversation while he wheels his and Charlie’s suitcases after them.

The wood beneath their feet soon turns to pavement and rustic-looking buildings with tin roofs begin to come into view. Many of them are tucked off the main walkway, along more winding paths. They’re staying on the bayou side of the resort, so the swamp vibes are accentuated by bald cypress trees hanging over decorative ponds between the buildings. 

It wouldn’t be a Disney World trip if they didn’t get lost on at least one wrong turn on the way to the rooms. Especially with Santiago and Benny insisting they each are reading the resort maps more correctly than the other. 

“Ben, I’m looking at the map right here, I’m telling you, we have to go that way.”

“Listen old man, I’m looking at the map too and I’m telling you, it’s this way!”

“Can we go over here?” Charlotte asks innocently, smiling up at their scowls and making Will reach around to cover her mouth with his hand, effectively silencing her before she can get herself into any more trouble.

Settling in is a relatively easy endeavor once they finally get to where they need to be, the only one who ever gives them any trouble is Santi. He has a habit of unpacking his suitcase in its entirety in preparation for the week, and it tends to take an hour longer than Benny has the attention span for. With two suitcases this year, Frankie imagines it’ll be twice that.

Once Benny shoves his luggage into the corner of his own room — never to be opened until he’s rushing to get ready the next day — he meanders over to Santi’s to lay face down, spread-eagle on the bed. He lets his displeasure loose, whining into the mattress while the other man organizes his things.

“I’m hungry,” Benny complains, drawing out the vowels on the second word. 

“Ben, you’re a grown-up with a wallet, go to the General Store or the food court and grab a snack.” 

“It’s not the same!” he huffs, turning his head to watch Santi neatly stack socks, undergarments, and sleep attire inside the drawers.

“If you help me, this would go faster.”

“I would rather be eaten by the crocodile from Peter Pan.”

“Tick-Tock, Tío Benny!” Charlie chimes in.

She likes to be in there during this process too, giggling as she lays across Benny’s back and listening to Santi explain the benefits of putting things in their proper places while on a trip. It’s the same spiel he’s given since the first one they all did four years ago, but Charlotte doesn’t mind. 

Even if she doesn’t always grasp the things he tells her, she likes to listen to him talk. She always has, since she was a baby. Frankie can’t even count the number of times he had called his friend in the middle of the night with a screaming infant in the background. His apology wouldn’t even be halfway out of his mouth before Santi would just simply brush it off.

“Put the baby on the phone, Fish, before she makes herself sick.” 

He would tell Charlie stories, drowsily building fantastical worlds about whatever came to mind. Princesses. Puppies. Wizards. Anything and everything. Sometimes he’d recount shenanigans the team used to get up to, stupid shit that had Frankie chuckling quietly with nostalgia. Other times he would sing softly to her, Spanish lullabies his mamá sang to him when he was a kid himself, or Frank Sinatra or Etta James — the kid had an ear for the classics. 

There were even nights where Santi would just come over, shuffling in wearing his slippers, pjs and bathrobe. He’d look so haggard, eyes bleary and curls sticking up every which way. Wordlessly, he would take Charlotte from Frankie and sit with her in the rocking chair in the nursery, murmuring to her until she calmed down and they both fell asleep exactly where they were.

So when she still seeks him out, eager for the comfort of his voice even after all this time, Frankie knows he’s more than happy to oblige. Santi smiles at her affectionately, and then resumes his unpacking. 

Shirts, light sweaters and weather-appropriate jackets are hung up next, coordinated by color on the wall racks. He brings his own pants hangers, of course, and Benny can’t contain his eye roll when Santi pulls them out of his suitcase. Toiletries follow suit, set on the counter in the bathroom before chargers (yes, multiple) are plugged into the outlet near his nightstand. He places an umbrella on the table in the corner just in case, for unexpected rainy days. 

Meanwhile, Frankie and Will usually set aside their suitcases for later so they can catch a cab or an Uber to the closest grocery store. They like to stock up on water instead of paying for the inflated prices in the parks, plus Will always insists on grabbing some healthier snack options for Charlie to munch on, rather than giving her park food all day. 

By the time they make it back, drop off their haul, and change for dinner, Benny’s dragging Santi out of the room by headlock. The ruckus is only worsened by Charlie latching herself onto Santi’s leg koala-style. 

“Mutiny!” Benny yells.

“Mutiny!” Charlie repeats, laughing like a hyena. “Hi, Daddy! Hi, Tío Will! Tío Santi’s our prisoner and we’re pirates of the Carry-bean!”

“Good job, French Fry,” Will grins, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels as he surveys the scene and her handiwork. “Don’t be afraid to use your teeth either, just like I taught you.”

Santi scowls at Will. “Carlota Xiomara Morales, do not bite me! And it’s Caribbean!”

Frankie rolls his eyes at them. There isn’t any heat behind the gesture, but he knows he needs to put an end to this chaos now, otherwise Santi will take Benny to the ground and they’ll wrestle right past their dinner reservation. He makes a show of grabbing Charlie around the waist and throwing her over his shoulder. 

“Alright, ye scallywags, it’s time to set sail.”

She giggles some more, kicking her feet while she hangs upside down. It’s an old routine, one she very much delights in, but it gets the point across and the guys all fall in line behind them, their easy banter and laughter following him and Charlotte all the way to the docks. 

When they arrive at the venue, it becomes apparent very fast that they’ve picked a busy night to head out there. Even from the docks, he can tell that the music normally playing over the speakers is muffled by the chatter of the crowd. There’s so many people, it almost feels like a park in and of itself.

If he had known it was going to be this lively, he might have suggested staying in for the evening and just ordering a pizza, but he knows the first night dinner is the only opportunity he’ll have to acclimate to the crowds and energy unique to Disney World. The frazzled parents and rowdy children, the bright-eyed first-timers and the seasoned annual pass holders, the obscenely long waits for everything — it can be a lot at times, and he always prefers to ease his way into the trip rather than diving in headfirst.   

After they disembark, Frankie takes a second to bundle Charlie into a Haunted Mansion sweater, a thoughtful early birthday gift from Will’s best friend, Jasmine. It’s bright purple with the hitchhiking ghosts screen printed on the front in black and Charlotte absolutely loves it. He already has his doubts that he’ll be able to get her to wear anything else the rest of the week. 

She holds her arms up when he’s finished, silently asking to be picked up, and it makes his heart ache sweetly in his chest. He knows these moments will fade away soon enough, so he always makes it a point to treasure them at every opportunity. 

He scoops her into his arms and settles her against his hip, pressing his lips absentmindedly to her cheek. She reaches up to rub at the spot where he kissed her, where his scruff likely tickled, and he smiles at the way her nose scrunches up at him.

“Can I have a cookie now?” she asks, giving him that doe-eyed look she knows he can’t resist. 

“If you finish your dinner.” 

They’re working on compromising. 

“Okay,” she sighs, and her pout looks so much like his, he wants to laugh.

“Okay,” he agrees, then, whispering conspiratorially, “But I bet you could get your tío Santi to get you that Little Mermaid bubble wand over there.”

He tilts his head towards the shop they’re coming up on and Charlie’s eyes light up like the Grinch before he steals Christmas. She wiggles to get down and Frankie chuckles softly as he watches her skip over to Santiago. Santi’s head tips towards her when she approaches, and from the smile on his face, Frankie knows he’s already wrapped around Charlotte’s finger before her hand even slips into his.

They're still early for their reservation at the restaurant that Will’s picked, so once they’ve secured Charlie’s bubble wand, they continue taking their time heading over there. The shops haven’t changed too much over the years, but there’s several they still frequent every visit.  It doesn’t take long for Frankie’s mood to shift. It’s easy to be affected by that buzz in the air, the kind that only Disney magic can create, and he can’t deny that he’s already starting to unwind and enjoy himself. 

Benny’s had a lot of idiotic ideas in his life, but scheduling that surprise first trip none of them had wanted to go on, forcing them to do it anyway, and turning it into an annual thing is definitely one of his better ones. 

By the time dinner finally rolls around, Frankie is famished. Their group ends up in the outdoor seating area of an Irish restaurant and pub called, ‘Ragland Road.’ The table is a little cozy for five, making it difficult to get all the plates situated; he keeps knocking elbows with Will and confusing his and Santi’s drinks, but all of that is easy to ignore when the atmosphere is so homey and comfortable.

There’s a live band in the middle of a set playing a song he doesn’t know. The beat is cheerful in a folkish, knee-slapping way, and his lack of familiarity doesn’t stop him from tapping his foot along while he eats. When he catches Charlie wiggle-dancing in her seat as she takes a bite of potato cake Santi offers to her, he smiles at the sight.

The food is delicious and judging by the nearly finished state of the other plates around the table, the others would agree. Even Charlotte eats most of her meal, a huge feat to say the least, and he deems it another win for the Miller brothers. Between the resort and the restaurant, the trip is off to a great start. 

Early into the evening, one of the staff had turned on the heat lamps strategically placed between tables, helping to ward off the nighttime chill. Frankie shed his jacket a while ago, having been warmed further by his meal and the beer he had as an accompaniment. He’s pushed his chair back a little, too, sliding down his seat so he can lean back and stretch his legs, take the pressure off his stomach. 

He can tell the day’s catching up to him. Travel fatigue, in combination with being full and content, begins to weigh on his shoulders and make his mind feel a little sluggish, like he’s watching everything from behind a fog. 

A bed sounds nice, and so does sleep for that matter, but the guys are chatty tonight and many years of experience has taught him that they’ve got at least another hour in them before calling it a day. He doesn’t mind too much; he’s happy just to sit and listen to them trade stories and laughs over another round of drinks.

They reminisce about the old days and catch up on life, not an unusual occurrence for them as they do this already at least once a week. The result of a camaraderie forged in military service and a brotherhood kept long after retirement. 

There are dinners and weekend BBQs, random visits throughout the week. Hell, even game nights if Benny can get them drunk enough. Sometimes evenings at the local dive bar, so long as Frankie can find a sitter. Still, despite the regular meetups, it’s nice to be in a different setting and away from the ‘everyday’ of their lives for once.

“Daddy, I want to go on the balloon ride!” 

Charlotte’s voice cuts through his thoughts, reminding him of the hot air balloon they’d seen earlier on their way to the restaurant. It’s been a number of years that they’ve been coming out here, but they have yet to actually ride it.

“Sorry, kid,” Santi tells her, tugging playfully on one of her curls. “The balloon ride is already closed. How about we finish coloring-”

“I don’t want to color anymore!”

Her pitch is one octave away from tantrum levels and Frankie frowns.

“Charlotte.” 

She pauses for a second, contemplates the warning tone in his voice and knows she’s toeing quite closely to a reprimand. She ends up huffing anyway, “Well, I don’t!” 

It surprises him, the way she snaps back, and it takes him a second to regroup.

“Alright,” he replies slowly, calmly. “That’s fine. You don’t have to color anymore if you don’t want to. But we can say that without yelling at people, okay?”

“That right, French Fry,” Will chimes in. “Sometimes if you yell at people, it can hurt their feelings, and you don’t want to hurt Santi’s feelings, do you?” 

She eyes the both of them stubbornly, bottom lip poking out in a pout. He can see the way her mind is weighing out the repercussions of whatever she decides to say next and it simultaneously terrifies him and fills him with so much pride witnessing how clever and astute she is even at her young age. Eventually she shakes her head and Frankie runs his hand soothingly down her hair. 

“I bet Santi would feel better if you said ‘sorry’ to him. What do you think?” 

Charlotte turns her head towards Santiago, who is doing a terrible job of trying to conceal his smile. He breaks as soon as she lifts her arms and wraps them around his neck, leaning down to draw her tighter against him. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles.

“For?” Frankie prompts.

“For yelling.”

Santi presses a kiss to her temple and pats her comfortingly on the back. “You’re alright, pescadito. Thank you for apologizing, that’s very good manners.” 

She’s tired, he mouths to Frankie, resting his cheek on her head when she keeps close.

He gets it, travel days are difficult enough as it is for regular adults and he imagines they’re even worse for tiny humans. Plus, there’s only so much coloring a kid can do on their placemat before they start getting antsy. But now that she’s gotten a little older and her attention span has gotten shorter, he’s started to notice that his sweet little girl is becoming a bit of a pint-sized demon. 

When Charlie peeks out from her hiding spot in Santi’s neck, Benny beckons her over to him with a few crooks of his finger. 

“Carlota, mi tesoro,” he sing-songs.

Frankie smiles at that. Benny’s accent is terrible beyond belief, but Frankie appreciates the effort he and Will have been putting in to learn Spanish in their free time. 

Charlotte’s sad little pout transforms almost immediately as her tío Ben takes her hand. He gets up to twirl her beside the stage with the band’s latest tune playing in the background. Out of all of them, Benny’s always been the best at being able to redirect an impending meltdown and getting some of that energy out. Probably because he has it in equal measure. 

The knot loosens in his chest with the situation effectively diffused. Her tantrums don’t happen all the time, thankfully, but when they do, they’re definitely not fun for either of them. While he’s doing his best to parent her through this new stage in her development, he’s finding it more challenging than he anticipated.

He’s never been more grateful that he’s got extra sets of hands to help him with Charlotte than during moments like these with the guys having his back. Teaching her, guiding her, loving her as deeply as he does. Loving her as if she were their own. It truly takes a village.

Frankie grins watching Benny and Charlotte together. Her dark hair fans out around her as she spins under his arm again, and the dimple in her cheek deepening with her smile is only further sweetened by her joy. He can feel his heart light up with her bright peals of laughter and he hopes that she always feels like this: carefree, happy, cherished. That’s all he could ever want for her.

As the night winds down, and Charlotte’s energy finally begins to wane, she climbs into Frankie’s lap to snuggle into his chest. Her little cheek presses right over his heart and the easy way she makes herself comfortable against him makes him sigh happily. He’s only half-listening to Santi chat about a woman he met at a bar recently. It’s decidedly inappropriate conversation for a five year-old anyway, so he’s glad Charlie picked that moment to fall asleep. 

Her breathing evens out despite Benny’s antics and boisterous teasing over Santi’s taste in women. Or rather, the kind of women often attracted to him. 

Frankie rests his hand reflexively over the back of his daughter’s head when Benny laughs again. The gesture soothes him as much as it’s meant to soothe her and keep her with her dreams.

When he glances up, he catches Will watching them, the other man’s smile soft around his eyes. Will leans forward slightly, lifting his hand to rub his thumb over a smear of chocolate on Charlie’s cheek. 

Frankie brushes a kiss across her brow, taking in the sight of the guys around the table. They’ve been just this way hundreds of times before, hundreds more since Charlotte had come into their lives. It’s an image that is comforting in its familiarity, safe in its constancy, and he feels incredibly blessed to be celebrating another year of his daughter’s life in her favorite place, with all her favorite people. Mainly because they’re his too.

“One hundred dollars she tells you she misses you before the week is up,” Benny tells Santi, pointing a finger at him.

“She’s not like that,” Santi argues, throwing one of the leftover fries from Charlotte’s plate at his head. 

Benny ducks out of the way at the last second but Santi is anticipating him and reaches over to flick his finger against Benny’s forehead when his lean puts him within striking distance. Benny swears under his breath, swatting Santi’s hand away playfully.

“She’s sweet,” Santi continues. “But she’s got her own things going on, you know? And thank god for that.”

“I don’t know, man, you’ve got a history.”

“What do you mean, ‘a history?’ A history of what, Ben?” Santi doesn’t snap, but his eyebrows pinch together with the question.

Benny looks to Will and Frankie for back-up, a habit ingrained from their days in the field, and gestures at Santi.  

Frankie merely shakes his head and laughs quietly. “Ohh, no, no, no, no. Nope. I’m staying out of this one.”

Will shrugs beside him, and Frankie’s brow lifts in surprise as their eyes meet. It’s obvious that Will’s feeling loose-tongued tonight, and unafraid of the consequences; his smirk is all mirth as he raises his beer to his mouth for another sip. 

“What Ben’s trying to say is that you’ve got a history, Pope…” Will claps Benny on the back as if to reiterate the point. “Of dating stage five clingers.”

Santi is unfazed by that assessment, however, and he doesn’t miss a beat as he leans back and rests his hands on the back of his head. “Well, when the dick is just that good-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Frankie’s response is immediate and protesting as he covers Charlie’s ear with one of his hands. 

Will chokes on his beer, moving forward to let the fizzy liquid drip down onto the floor instead of all over him while he laughs through a coughing fit. Frankie, ever in dad mode, holds out a napkin to him with his free hand, glaring at Santi all the while. Benny just groans, dunking his fingers in his water glass before shaking the droplets at the older man. 

“Hey, man,” Frankie chastises. “This is a family establishment!”

“Family establishment!” Santi says, his eyes positively gleaming. He shifts and holds his hand out towards Charlie. “She’s asleep! She’s not gonna know!”

“Yeah, but the kids at the next table have ears, pendejo, and so do their parents!” 

Frankie has a couple more choice words for him in Spanish that make Santi snort with laughter but he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright, alright. For the sake of little ears, we’ll keep it clean.”

It takes them another minute to all settle down again, the last bits of jesting and laughter filling the air. Once they do, Santi suddenly turns serious, and his gaze falls to him and Charlie. He nods at Frankie when Frankie’s eyebrow arches up questioningly. 

“Hey, what about you, Fish, huh?” 

He stills, eyeing his friend carefully. “What about me?”

Santi’s shrug is casual but Frankie knows him better than that. 

“You think you’re ever gonna get back out there again?” 

“Out where?” He keeps his tone nonchalant, his posture relaxed despite feeling his hands beginning to grow damp.

“We know you’re not that dense, in the dating pool,” Benny speaks up, reaching across Santi to pilfer one of the uneaten pickles off Charlie’s plate and grinning like a pirate. 

Frankie wrinkles his nose at that, inhaling deeply while he thinks on his answer. Truthfully, with Charlotte getting older, the thought may have crossed his mind a few times. Albeit very fleetingly and far between. 

He reaches up, rubbing at his bottom lip with his thumb and attempting to mask his anxiety behind the casual gesture. “Honestly, I don’t know, man. I’ve been so focused on Charlotte, it hasn’t been a priority.”

Benny whistles lowly in response and Frankie’s eyes drop to the table, his composure threatening to fissure under the combined weight of their attention. His emotional wounds begin to ache at the seams, dull yet insistent despite the many years he’s had to heal, and he wonders if he even ever really did. After his wife’s unexpected and tragic passing, his whole world has been nothing but his little girl and he’s just…never needed more than that. Never allowed himself to look beyond that. 

“I mean, it’s fine. We’re doing okay just the two of us, I think.” 

“Yeah, but how long has it been? Don’t you have…needs?” Benny wonders, eyebrows arching suggestively.

“Jesus Christ, Ben,” Frankie grimaces, feeling his face warm at the sudden scrutiny of his personal life. “Look, I’m not celibate if that’s what you’re asking!”

Will chucks his crumpled up napkin at Benny’s head. “Why you so interested in Fish’s sex life, huh?”

“Yeah, is your own a little lacking there, Ben?” Santi retorts with a snicker.

Benny, predictably, rises to the occasion, defensive and boasting about his own recent conquests. Frankie’s grateful for the redirection of the conversation, but with the truth laid bare and now at the forefront of his mind, he finds himself distracted from the rest of their heckling.

Sure, there’s been the occasional fling here and there, some one night stands just to scratch the itch, but nothing ever serious, and certainly not serious enough to disrupt Charlie’s life with.

Besides, Frankie’s grown quite comfortably into this version of his life without romantic love. He’d had to pivot in a way he’d never imagined, from husband and new father in one breath, to widower and single dad in the next. His entire world had plunged into a tailspin, and he’d nearly lost himself in the turbulent spiral of his shock and incomprehensible grief. 

There had been many days where he just didn’t know how he was going to make it, where trying to balance the loss of her with raising their newborn child was too much to bear. She was his match, the love of his life, his partner in every way, and the abrupt absence of her had been debilitating, his heartbreak suffocating. He could never seem to catch his breath, choking on the air trapped in his lungs until they started to burn, until they felt near exploding, and even then, simply enduring.

Anything could set him off: seeing her toothbrush in the holder next to his, realizing he poured two cups of coffee in the morning instead of one, her favorite song on the radio. Even Charlotte smiling for the first time. That was perhaps the most difficult, all the little things and all the big things she’d missed and would continue to miss where their daughter was concerned. 

But even in that darkness, even with all that despair, the light had always been Charlotte. She could steady him with a look, ground him with the grasp of her tiny hand around his finger, soothe him by simply needing him in the ways that infants need someone to care for them. To be fed, changed, held, loved. 

And so he did. 

And bit by bit she’d forced him to piece the broken shards of himself together. It hadn’t been easy and some of the pieces never really fit back properly, the remaining shapes made too small by his unending pain or too big by his lingering rage, but what had remained of himself he’d simply given wholly to her. He’d endeavored to be the kind of father she deserved, the kind of man her mother would have been proud of.

Some days it almost felt wrong to keep living the way that they had, to keep having those little slivers of happiness — her first steps, her first birthday, her first word (“dada”) — when half of Frankie’s heart was missing. He knows that’s what she would have wanted, but it never made it any easier. 

There’s a bittersweet ache in his chest now, soothed only mildly by their daughter’s weight against him. He rarely speaks her name aloud anymore, but he still thinks of her everyday. 

Time has stolen so much from him, though. It’s just…the shape of her in his memory now. An image no longer as crisp or clear as it once had been, the tangibility of her — her smell, her touch, her voice — all things he can barely remember anymore. But she still exists in other ways. 

Snapshot moments in his mind, seconds of the life they once shared. Her smile the first time he tried to flirt with her. Her eyes welling with tears when he slipped her wedding band onto her finger. The way her nose crinkled when she laughed too hard. How pretty she looked in his t-shirts with her lips kiss-swollen and hair all mussed from his fingers. 

She hated folding clothes even though she didn’t mind washing them. 

She liked paperbacks over hardcovers, but disliked creased spines. 

She played Sudoku like a champ. 

She used to order onion rings as the side with her burger despite preferring fries because he liked onion rings more. His own were never enough, and he didn’t figure that out until after she was gone.

He thinks back to Santi’s question again, turning it over and over in his mind. The answer remains elusive, and perhaps it always would be. But that’s probably for the best. 

He’s already experienced a big, big love once, and maybe once is all he gets. Maybe once will just have to be enough. 

It would save him some disappointment, at least. Preemptively stave off any potential heartbreak — not just his, but Charlie’s as well. He couldn’t put them through something like that again. Not after everything they’ve been through.

He glances around at the table again, rubbing a hand over Charlie’s back. He’s not even sure what the guys are talking about anymore, but their laughter feels like a salve for his reopened wounds. So does Charlotte’s quiet snores. 

And if this is all he gets for the rest of his life, this brotherhood, this camaraderie and family, and the generous love of his kid…he could be okay with that, he thinks. 

Later, as they’re headed back to the resort for the night, Santi elbows him lightly in the ribs to get his attention and he turns his head towards his friend.

“Hey, about earlier,” Santi says quietly, just between the two of them. “Sorry if we overstepped.”

Frankie shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, Pope, it’s fine.”

“For what it’s worth, Fish, you and that kid deserve the world, and whatever that means for you, whatever that looks like, we’re always gonna have your back.”

“But?” 

“What do you mean ‘but,’ there’s no ‘but.’”

“With you, Pope, there is always a ‘but,’” he smiles.

Santi rolls his eyes at him. “Alright, but…” 

He trails off, inhaling deeply. Instinctively Frankie braces for the blow.

“You deserve a second chance at love. Juliana would want that for you.” 

Santi shrugs then, clapping him lightly on the back. The gesture is meant to be casual, but Frankie feels the pressure of it all the same, just as he feels the heaviness of hearing Juliana’s name spoken out loud. A punch to the gut that has his hold tightening around Charlotte’s small frame. 

“You’re a good dad and a good man, and some women find you easy on the eyes, though I can’t imagine why-” 

Frankie reaches out with his fist, knocking Santiago lightly against his jaw and making him laugh as he maneuvers out of reach.

“I’m just saying, you’ve got a lot of stuff going for you still. It couldn’t hurt to see what’s out there! You might be surprised.”

Frankie hums noncommittally at the advice, adjusting his daughter in his arms as they approach the buses meant to shuttle them back to the resort.

“Yeah, maybe someday,” he mumbles, more for Santi’s benefit than his. 

But he couldn’t have known that maybe that day was closer than he realized.

You love Disney World, truly, you do. But it’s almost criminal that there’s this many people at Disney Springs on a Monday night. Particularly during what should have been one of the least busiest weeks to go. It’s well after the holiday rush of Christmas and New Year’s but it doesn’t appear like everyone’s gotten the memo. 

Bus after bus comes to take people back to their resorts and your little group of four frustratingly continues to end up on none of them. The line is moving, though. You can tell simply because eventually you’ll realize you’re in a different place in it than you were ten minutes ago. 

Closer to the front, but somehow still not close enough to get on an actual shuttle. It imitates a park ride wait so perfectly, like an adult version of ‘Are we there yet?’ except you are both the impatient child and the irritated parent.

Disney magic at its finest. 

“Is there a single rider option for this?” Your best friend, Taylor, mutters under her breath from her place behind you. 

The question makes your mouth twitch at the corners, but as another bus pulls away from the curb, and another round of disappointed sighs and quiet grumbling goes up through the crowd, you can’t help but agree with the sentiment. At this point, you wouldn’t mind standing so long as you actually get back to the resort soon. Tomorrow is your first day in the parks and you and your friends are all eager to shower the day off before going to bed and resting up. 

There’s little else to do while you wait for the next ride so you reach into your bag for your phone to check the time. You have to plan for tomorrow, calculate exactly how many hours you have until you have to get up. The number determines your sleep schedule and whether you do the long or shortened version of your nighttime routine, especially because you still have to decide on an outfit and allot time for getting ready in the morning. Oh, and making a coffee and breakfast run.

Your fingers dig around inside the purse, brushing against crumpled receipts, a tube of lip balm, and a small bottle of hand sanitizer before you frown. 

Huh. That’s weird.

You grasp the bag, pulling it further in front of you so you can actually see while you’re rifling through it. Every item you know to be in there is mentally checked off as you touch each one: wallet, passport, some loose change from when you paid cash for a water bottle at the airport convenience store, dinner and shopping receipts, lip balm, sanitizer. 

Everything is all accounted for; everything, that is, except your phone. 

“Shit,” you mutter. 

The panic hits you quick and sharp. You try to tamper the feeling down but it’s too late, you’re already on edge and the way your stomach clenches tells you that you’re spiraling fast. This is the very last thing you need on the first day of your trip, your mind racing with thoughts of fraudulent charges, emptied bank accounts, and scam emails being sent to your entire address book. 

And what the hell are you going to do if you need to have all your cards canceled while you’re out here?

One of your other friends, Sasha, gives you a quizzical look as you start patting yourself down. Your movements are frantic, hands flitting between your jacket pockets, jean pockets and back on a second pass just to be sure.

“You okay?” she wonders, her voice concerned. 

Your eyes flit downwards in a frenzied scan across the pavement as you search between people’s feet on the off-chance you may have simply dropped it. But then in your periphery you catch sight of a young boy just as he drops a piece of chocolate. It lands by his shoe and he’s quick to lean down for it, but his mother’s reflexes are quicker. She grabs onto his arm before he can take it back and attempt to put it in his mouth. 

Shit. The Ganachery.

You can see it so clearly in your mind, how you’d been taking photos of the chocolate in the displays before setting your phone down on the counter when one of the employees came by and offered a sample. Absentminded and careless and entirely your mistake. 

“I left my phone at The Ganachery,” you sigh, the sound frustrated and grouchy as your fingers press into your temple where you can feel a headache starting to brew.

“What?” Taylor leans over your shoulder, her ears ever sharp. Automatically, her gaze drops to the ground as well. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I don’t have it.”

“You checked your pockets? What about your jacket? Your bag?”

She means well, logically you know this, but there’s nothing more irritating when you’re on the verge of a minor crisis than someone trying to tell you to do the things you’ve already done. Another agitated sigh escapes between your lips. 

“I have to go back,” you announce, wasting no time unclipping one of the ropes helping to designate the boarding line for the buses so you can slip out of line.

Reese, the fourth in your friend group, pokes her head out from behind Sasha’s. Her phone already tucked to her ear, no doubt attempting to call yours. 

“I’ll go with you, so you don’t have to be alone on the way back.”

You wave her off. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be quick. I’ll meet y’all back in the room!” 

But Reese is insistent, saying your name in protest.

“Seriously, it’s okay! Just save me some hot water!” you tease, hoping your easy tone placates her.

She cups her hands around her mouth so her voice carries and you don’t miss the instruction. “Fine, but text when you find it and are on your way back!” 

You give her a thumbs up before you turn, speed walking out of sight and back into Disney Springs. In all the years that you’ve been coming out here, you’ve never lost anything once, let alone something as important as your phone. It’s hard not to beat yourself up over it, your anxiety a heavy weight in your stomach as you make your way against the flow of traffic. 

There’s a startled ‘Oof!’ that reaches your ears when you inadvertently bump into someone, but it does little to slow you down. All you can manage is a hurried ‘Sorry!’ while you breeze by. You miss the way they turn after you when you go, only left with the vague sense that you’d run into some guy in a hat holding a kid. Oh well, fingers crossed he’d at least heard your apology.  

Your frayed nerves only begin to calm once the shop’s sign finally comes into view, and it pushes you to jog the last few steps, bursting through the double door entrance in dramatic fashion. The irresistible scent of sweetened cocoa slams into you, but it’s the looks from the employees and other customers that stop you in your tracks.  

“Hi,” you greet the person behind the register, the word breezy and rushed as it trips out of your mouth. You recognize them, but aren’t sure if they recognize you. “Sorry, I was just in here about fifteen minutes ago with my friends. Did you happen to find a-”

“Phone?” The device is held up in their hand with a cheerful smile.

“Yes. Thank you so much!” Your shoulders sag with immediate relief. “You’re a lifesaver!”

“No problem, I was hoping you’d notice before you went back to your resort. Your friend called to let us know you were on your way to grab it.” 

You cringe with mild embarrassment while you approach the register and your phone gets passed to you. Of course Reese did, she is notorious for being the ‘Mom friend’ of the group.

“Have a good night!” they say cheerfully, waving goodbye at you. 

With your phone safely clutched to your chest, you back into one of the doors and push it open with your hip to leave. Now that you’ve caught your breath and the adrenaline is slowly working its way out of your system, your walk back to the shuttles is at a much more leisurely pace. 

You notice the crowd has thinned out some since you had come through just minutes before, and that only the last stragglers looking to close out Disney Springs remain. You figure they’re staying to either make the night last just a little longer or wait for a less cramped ride back to their resorts. If you weren’t looking to catch some extra sleep, you might have entertained the latter yourself. 

To your surprise, the boarding area for the Port Orleans resorts is much less crowded than when you had left earlier too. After you’ve shuffled your way back into line, you predict that the likelihood of you actually getting to sit for the ride back is looking pretty good, and though that comfort is merely just a little thing, sometimes the little things make all the difference.

You pick a seat near the front as you enter, planning ahead for easy access to an exit when it’s time to get off later, and busy yourself with your phone while you wait for other passengers to board and settle in. 

The group chat is popping, 67 messages waiting for you as indicated by the red bubble on the top corner of your app. It’s mostly the other girls sharing photos from the day, with the occasional snarky text about Sasha’s horrible photography skills and Taylor’s obsession with food aesthetic photos. 

You skim the rest of the messages, making a mental note to add your own photos later and to look at and save all the others at some point. At the bottom, Reese’s ‘Are you on your way back?’ is waiting for you and you let them know that you’re on the bus now and will be at the resort soon. A series of messages come in rapid-fire succession.

Sasha Vasiliev  Be safe!

Reese Fraser Don’t talk to strangers!

Taylor Crawford Absolutely talk to strangers if they’re cute! 

You shake your head at their antics, but the way your mouth curves up betrays your amusement. You’re just about to respond when a deep voice cuts through your thoughts.

“Guess it’s standing room only.” 

It’s honey-sweet and slow as molasses, and when it hits your ears, you glance up without thinking. 

Piercing blue eyes the color of seaglass meet your gaze, and then the owner of them smiles. You blink in surprise as you take in the rest of him, as you are caught off guard by his blatant attractiveness.  ‘Hollywood Handsome,’ Taylor would say, with his dimpled smile and perfectly disheveled sandy-blonde hair that’s just edging towards brown. 

His eyes light up at your expression and you don’t miss the way he gives you a flirtatious once-over. 

“Hi,” he greets — all of the charm he can muster in that singular word — and slows his gait as he moves past you.

Oh, here we go.

Your own smile is small, polite, but you don’t say anything back, not wanting to encourage him. 

The man behind him claps him on the back, drawing your attention and making you start. He’s older — if the silver woven through his dark hair and beard is any indication — and about half a foot shorter but no less striking.

Although ‘striking’ doesn’t seem to be a big enough word. Not for the classical angles of his face or dimples in his cheeks that have turned to creases with age. Not for his sharp eyes, rich like dark mahogany wood, or the crinkles at the corners of them.

He gives his companion a light push towards the middle of the bus where there’s space to stand. 

“Leave the pretty girl alone, Ben,” he says, winking at you. 

“What? I was just saying ‘hi,’' Ben replies. 

He sounds innocent enough, but you’re not entirely convinced. Apparently, neither is his friend.

“Mmhmm, sure you were.”

After Ben moves as far in as he’s able, he turns and leans against one of the bars flanking the steps to the elevated seats in the back. One of his hands is full of shopping bags, the other slides into one of the pockets of his jeans, and his feet cross at the ankles while he waits for the bus to finish loading. It speaks to his confidence, how comfortable he is in his skin. The kind of man who takes up space not because he can — or should, or wants to — but because he just does. 

He never drops his head, his posture, or his gaze for that matter, and as if on cue, it sweeps briefly over to you again. He beams when he catches you watching him and he gives you a little nod in acknowledgement, a little wiggle of his eyebrows with that relaxed smile. 

You look away, electing to ignore his easy affection. Connecting with a random guy during vacation isn’t at the top of your priority list, regardless of if it’s just a little harmless flirting. There’s only three f-words you’re here for: food, fun, and friends.

Speaking of friends, a quick scroll through social media shows that the girls have already started posting some of the photos from the group chat. You distract yourself with them, examining each post and liking them as you go.

You’re just about to comment on one when past the side of your phone, you see a man’s boot-clad feet step into the space in front of you. You groan inwardly, preparing to tough out the bus ride with a stranger’s crotch in your face. He doesn’t move, though, keeps his hip to you and you’re grateful that he at least has the manners and decency not to angle himself in your direction. You keep your eyes averted anyway.

“Daddy?” a little girl asks sleepily. 

The sound comes from directly above you.

“Yeah, baby?” he murmurs. 

“I wanna sit.” 

It’s not a whine, but it may as well be. 

“Sorry, mijita, we gotta stand for now. Just for a bit, okay?”

“No,” she answers. “I wanna sit.”

Oh, you know that tone. You’ve been around Disney World kids long enough to recognize when a tantrum is impending, and realizing there will be no opportunity for escape due to proximity, you brace yourself for the full force of her inevitable outburst.

“You want me to take her?” you hear another man offer. He’s standing beside him, just to the right of you. 

It takes everything in you not to look up and watch the scene unfold. Apart from it being impolite, you can already sense the stress and embarrassment from the dad. The last thing the poor guy needs is another pair of eyes on him.

“No, it’s alright, I’ve got her,” he answers. 

He whispers to her in Spanish, too low for you to really hear, but instinctively you know it’s meant to calm her down just by the soothing timbre of his voice.

“Papá!” she grumbles, a few octaves higher now.

“Carlota,” he tsks. 

And oh, you know that tone, too. 

“There’s no place to sit. I’m sorry but we have to stand. It’s just for fifteen minutes-”

“I’m tired.” 

You can make out the exhaustion in her voice as well as the frustration over not getting her way, and you feel for the kid. Big feelings for a little person; though you know not everyone will be as understanding. Or as patient. 

That’s the only thing you hate about Disney World’s transportation service. It’s complimentary, yes, and hugely convenient for getting around their massive property, but making people stand and cramming the bus to breathing room only, is a bit excessive and torturous for people to have to endure. Little ones especially.

“I know, Charlotte,” he sighs. “You hang on to me and go back to sleep-”

“I wanna sit now!”

The words explode out of her, sudden and shrill, making the bus go abruptly quiet as all of the air is sucked out of the small space. 

And then the waterworks start — deep, howling wails that pierce your ears and go straight to your head. You wince inwardly and take a peek up at her dad. 

Your first thought, humiliatingly, is: holy hell because you certainly weren’t expecting the little zing of attraction that jolts down your spine just from the sight of his profile.

Your second thought, more appropriately, is: how can I diffuse this situation? 

On a whim, you tap him lightly on the arm while he continues to try to pacify his child. His head jerks at the contact, turning towards your direction with an expression that can only be described as equal parts shame and dread. It looks out of place on his handsome face. 

He stills when he sees you, regarding you with his deep, deep brown eyes. There’s a flicker of something in them, too quick for you to really discern. Then his whole demeanor softens apologetically, apprehensively, as if he is expecting a confrontation and dreading it. The fact that this would be his first reaction makes your insides warm with empathy. 

“Hi,” you start, beginning to rise from your seat. 

He shuffles away to give you a little more space to move, rocking his child all the while. She hasn’t stopped crying so you make sure to raise your voice a little in order to be heard over her. 

“Forgive me for eavesdropping but…you’re welcome to have my seat.”

He blinks at you, mouth falling slightly open. “What?”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m happy to stand.” 

You give him your most friendly smile and hope your voice sounds cheerful despite its volume. But his head shakes resolutely. 

“No, Miss, please, I can’t let you do that-”

“Really, I insist! I mean, we’re about to head out so…” you trail off, gesturing at the bus driver sliding into his own chair. 

You smile again — disarming, encouraging. He continues to look horrified at your suggestion, but between his screaming kid, the irritated looks of the other passengers, and the time he doesn’t have to argue properly, there’s really no other option than to do as you’ve offered. 

Maneuvering around you is a little bit of an awkward shuffle, bodies bumping and brushing despite the attempts at propriety in such close quarters. You try not to think about how there seems to be so much of him, just…tall, broad, man tangled up in your space. Eventually he gets to where he needs to, and eases down onto the bench. 

It’s a tight squeeze for the width of his shoulders between the other two passengers who had been on either side of you, but he manages to make it work. You have the fleeting thought that Taylor would rate him a ‘15/10 Hot Dad’ on that feature alone. Shamelessly, you might be inclined to agree. 

At least in the privacy of your mind.

Almost immediately, his daughter’s crying abates. Her sniffles and occasional hiccups are the only remaining evidence of her outburst. She snuggles deeper into his chest, cheek laying over his shoulder, one of her hands clutching the front of his shirt.

She’s a cutie — cherub-cheeked, with curling chestnut-colored hair and a sweet little button-nose. Her eyes match his, and they’re already starting to droop, heavy with sleepiness.

“Thank you,” he says, and you can tell he’s sincere in his gratitude by the intent way he stares up at you and oh boy. 

You don’t know how it’s possible to feel a look, but you feel that one. All the way down to your fingers and toes you feel it. 

“You’re welcome,” you answer softly, swallowing the lump that’s suddenly formed in your throat. 

Without a fussy child between you, distracting you, your attention turns to other things. Like the scruff along the sharp line of his jaw, and the neatly trimmed mustache sitting under a prominent nose. The facial hair’s a good look on him, you think; it saves him from appearing too baby-faced. He’s got a baseball cap on his head that is doing a horrible job of containing all of his wavy brown hair, but that’s a good look on him too.

It’s the eyes that really get you, though — kind and soulful, warm like smoky quartz. 

You glance away when your skin starts to tingle, in need of respite from the full-force of his attention. It’s just your luck that his attention is replaced by his companion’s, the one who asked if he needed a hand with his kid earlier. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed, rugged.  

He has a full beard, hair almost down to his shoulder with half of it pulled back into a messy knot. He’s got a way about him that’s unnervingly intimidating; it contrasts with the gentle smile on his face, the cute braid that starts at his temple and is tucked back into the tie, and you can’t help but stare in bewilderment at him. 

It would appear you are four for four on meeting gorgeous men tonight. Must be something in the water.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you reply back, suddenly shy. He makes you feel like you need to fill the space with something other than his considering look but nothing will come to mind. 

“Next stop, Port Orleans!” the driver abruptly calls out, pulling your thoughts away and saving you from continuing your awkward exchange with him. 

There’s about a half second lag before the doors all close with a loud hiss and the driver hits the gas, making the bus jerk aggressively away from the curb. You grasp onto the strap dangling above your head as a reflex, but horrifyingly, you have no time to brace yourself. 

The sharp movement disrupts your balance and you pitch forward with a sharp gasp — straight into Hot Dad — and the only thing stopping you from smashing your boobs into his face is the grip you manage to get on his shoulder, and his own steadying hand on your hip. 

His very large, very strong hand.

You hover over him, so close you can’t help but catch the scent of his cologne — fresh and clean with a little hint of musky sweetness. It makes your head spin, traps the air in your lungs as your heart starts kicking against your ribcage, the harsh thump, thump, thump a resounding echo in your ears. 

The edge of the brim of his hat lightly brushes over your cheek when his face tilts up to look at you, and your whole body heats up when your gazes meet again. It’s…strangely intimate, curiously familiar all at once, and that same spark of attraction from earlier unfurls in your stomach, like a flower blooming under the sun’s glowing rays. 

It is a reaction your body most certainly has no business having. 

“Sorry,” you tell him, the word rushing out of you breathlessly. 

Then the lights inside the vehicle go out, abruptly turned off and plunging you into darkness. The blessed safety of it where you’re able to avoid the intensity of his eyes. Still, you know little relief, your heightened sense of touch proving to be the next dilemma to contend with, specifically because you’re still holding onto him. 

And he’s still holding onto you. 

The singular sensation of the pads of his fingers pressing into your skin through your clothes, knocks you off kilter more than the driver’s heavy foot. You make it a point to pull away.

“You alright?” he asks when you do, voice gruff in a way that makes your cheeks heat and your palms clammy.

Your laugh is airy as it passes between your lips, full of nerves you hope he doesn’t pick up on. “Yeah, I’m good.”

But you notice he doesn’t remove his hand until you’re stable on your feet. 

“Sorry,” you repeat, trying to give him some room despite really having none to spare. You angle your body away from him, towards the front of the bus, and grip the strap like a lifeline. Your heartbeat is still thrumming in your head. “And sorry if I step on you or something. I swear these things are a death trap.”

He chuckles at that. “It’s okay, that’s why I’ve got steel-toed boots.” 

The joke is lame, but you find yourself smiling at it anyway. 

Trying to maintain your equilibrium is the most challenging part of the ride, nothing short of a herculean endeavor, especially with the way the driver takes the turns. You spend the next fifteen minutes obsessively conscious of the way your leg keeps accidentally knocking his knee on every break and acceleration of the bus. Apologies seem a little redundant at this point, though, so you keep them to yourself. But they still weigh heavy on your tongue. 

It’s probably the most peculiar experience you’ve ever had on a Disney World shuttle, and you can’t say that you aren’t relieved when the Port Orleans French Quarter signage appears through the window. French Quarter is the first stop on the route which means your own stop is coming up quite soon.   There are several drop-off locations on the Riverside route, but the lights at the main unloading area at the front of the resort are the brightest and most sobering. You blink against the sting of them while the bus pulls in, wincing when the interior lights flicker back to life again too and amplify the brightness. It takes your vision a few moments to adjust to normal and you drop your hold on the strap in the interim. 

Oww. 

The ache in your shoulder is instant, the muscles tense all the way down your arm. Hell, even your fingers feel stiff. You tilt your head from side to side, stretching out your neck and resisting the urge to reach across yourself and rub at the sore spot on your shoulder. With your luck, you’ll elbow Hot Dad in the face in the process. 

Feet and bodies begin to shuffle about, the rustle of shopping bags and backpacks and other items filling the air as passengers eagerly prepare to disembark. Out of habit, you reach for your phone. You mean to look at the time but the screen blinks with a text message notification instead. It’s from Reese, undoubtedly checking on you. 

And grounding you in a really needed way.

Food, fun, friends, you remind yourself. 

When it’s time to go, you don’t bother to say goodbye to Hot Dad or spare him a second glance. Whatever spell this whole situation had previously cast on you is effectively broken. Whatever you’d felt in those moments, gone. With the reality of being back at the resort, he becomes just another face, another stranger in a huge crowd of them visiting the parks and being on vacation. You bet you won’t even see him again anyway. 

You step off the bus, thanking the driver on your way despite his horrible driving and smiling when he wishes you a good evening. The temperature’s dropped even more since you left Disney Springs, and it makes you shiver as you begin the trek to your room. It feels good, even if your fingers are cold. You inhale the crisp air deeply, allowing it to fill your lungs before you exhale just as thoroughly.

If you’ve timed it correctly, the girls should just about be finished with their showers, which means you can get to yours as soon as you get to the room. Maybe even cram in a face mask after. If you hustle, you might just be able to fall asleep before Taylor too — she snores but will never admit it, and sometimes it’s difficult to fall asleep once she gets going.

You make it inside the lobby, past the doors that lead back outside to the little marina, and almost halfway across the bridge before you hear the distinct sound of jogging feet on the wood. 

“Hey, wait up!” someone calls, and you turn out of reflex, before you can think better of it.

Your brows lift in surprise, particularly since you’d already convinced yourself the bus was all you were going to get.

“Hey,” Hot Dad greets when he catches up to you. His smile is sweet, if a little sheepish.

Attraction flutters insistently in the back of your mind, beating its little wings rebelliously against the rational voice trying to stress that you are on vacation — at Disney World — and don’t have time for any more of the indulgent thoughts swirling around in your head.

Especially about a stranger and a father no less. He could be married or otherwise attached. He could be a murderer, the nice guy act simply just a ruse. Hell, he could be a married murderer even. Okay, the last two might be a tad dramatic, but you’ve watched too many true crime documentaries and you know that sometimes you just never know. 

“Hey,” you say back, noting that he is sans kid. 

A flicker of movement behind him captures your attention and you lean out past his shoulder to get a better look. You instantly recognize Ben from the bus, along with his dark-haired friend. They’re just outside the doors of the dinning hall, next to the lobby entrance, standing together like they’re waiting around for something. Then you see that Ben is holding Hot Dad’s daughter, swaying tenderly and rocking her in his arms, and oh, they’re waiting for him. 

Ben has the cheekiness to give you a little wink this time when he realizes you’re looking, and you’re 99% convinced he gets just about anything he wants with all that charm. Blondie joins them a second later, walking out the door with a bag from the general store clutched in his hand. He doesn’t wave but his curious gaze remains trained on you.

The dark-haired one does wave despite being semi-distracted with his phone, pacing around slightly with it pressed to his ear. His hand falls to his waist and you cant your head curiously. There’s an intriguing air about that one, like he’s fully in control of every situation at any given moment. Someone used to giving orders but not necessarily taking them. Suave, confident, a touch sophisticated. Like he would exude that same kind of power in a t-shirt as he would in a suit. 

Seeing them all together is something of a sight and a bit of an enigma. Four men, all with differing dispositions, all gorgeous in their own ways. You haven’t figured out the connection yet, how the four of them are linked and bound together. But you just get the sense that they are.

“I knew Huey was with you,” you tell him. “But I didn’t realize Dewey and Louie were too.” 

Confusion flashes across his face until he turns to follow where your line of sight had been. It takes him a second, and then he’s tilting his head back, a bright laugh rumbling out of him at your reference to Donald Duck’s triplet nephews. The sound is pretty in the night air, and the unexpected pleasure of being able to draw it out of him lights like a sparkler in your chest.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” he grins, turning back to you. 

The corners of his eyes crinkle and a deep dimple winks to life in his cheek. It makes his face even sweeter. 

He stands there watching you for a time after, and that look from the bus crosses his face again, like he’s working out an answer to a question only he knows. You start to shift your weight from foot to foot, self-conscious, unsure of what to do as the silence stretches on and the air pulses between you — all shimmering heat and endless possibilities. You tug your bottom lip into your mouth, chewing on it nervously, and it’s not lost on you that his eyes are drawn briefly to the action. 

You swallow thickly.

“Did you, um…need help with something?” you finally ask, trying to ignore the pull to him you can’t seem to shake.

That seems to break him out of his trance and he reaches up to rub at the back of his neck, suddenly shy. 

“So hey, listen…I just wanted to thank you again for what you did back there.” He gestures behind him with his free hand, in the general direction of the shuttle drop-off. “It was really nice and you- you didn’t have to. I appreciate it and I’m sure the other passengers did too.”

“Oh, don’t mention it. I was happy to help. I get grumpy when I’m tired, too, so I understand.” 

You shrug and give him a playful scrunch of your nose that eases the tension in his shoulders and makes that cute little dimple appear again. 

“Well, I’ve uh…gotta get back to my room,” you say softly when your cheeks start to warm from his unwavering gaze. “Early day tomorrow and all.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course.” He rubs at his jaw, fingers grazing over the scruff as he thinks on something. “I’d offer to walk you but, I know we just met and you probably don’t want a stranger to know where your room is…but, if you did want someone to walk you, it’s the least I could do.”

His rambling is terribly endearing but he’s right on all counts. “Thanks, that’s really nice of you to offer, but I’ll be alright. I’m pretty close anyway- oh! And I hope your daughter gets some rest.” 

His lips curve at that. “Thanks, me too. Thank you for everything else. Again.” 

You raise your hand in a parting wave. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” he murmurs back.  

And it suddenly dawns on you that this could very well be the last time you ever see him. There’s a disappointed twinge in your gut that shouldn’t be there but is and it’s silly, but still very difficult to ignore as your feet start to carry you backwards. Your body is reluctant to turn away, your eyes unable to resist taking their fill of him — just one last, long, harmless look before you go. 

“Wait!” 

He says it just as you start to turn away and it makes you pause. You glance over your shoulder with one of your eyebrows raised expectantly at him. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m Frankie, by the way.”

You know what he’s inviting by giving you his name — the choice to give yours back. What’s the harm, right? It wouldn’t change anything. You could tell him your name and it wouldn’t mean anything. 

Instead, you give him another smile, the corners of your lips tugging up. 

“Have a good vacation, Frankie.”

He shakes his head at you, amusement clear on his stupidly adorable face as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rocks back onto his heels. 

“You too.” 

This time, you force yourself to go, to keep your eyes ahead and your feet moving. 

If you hadn’t, you might have seen the way he’d taken an unconscious step after you before catching himself, or the way his gaze had lingered on your form until you disappeared across the bridge.

The walk back to your room isn’t much further, just beyond the second bridge and right on the main path. Lucky for you since your mind is far too distracted for anything more than running on autopilot. You’re caught in a memory loop, incessantly replaying the night’s events over and over in your head.

You’ve read too many romance books, listened to too many love songs, seen too many romance movies. Have grown too fond of fairy tales and happily-ever-afters with their neat little ribbons and dainty bows on top.

You are on vacation, you remind yourself one more time, and you cannot romanticize a meaningless moment between yourself and a random stranger. One you are never going to see again. But even as you retreat from the bubble of that chanced encounter on the bus, and the subsequent exchange at the bridge, somehow, that man with his quiet demeanor and his sweet smile sticks with you.

End Notes: Re: Charlotte’s nicknames A ‘fry’ is a baby fish pescadito also translates to ‘baby/small fish’ mi tesoro means ‘my treasure’

Thank you so, so much for reading and joining the TF boys for vacation ;)

[littleferal]

sleeping habits 2

headcanons for din djarin (the mandalorian)

a/n roll on character number 2! my compiled thoughts about how din, our dear tin can man, sleeps rating general. word count 1080 words. warnings none.

benny miller | din djarin | ezra | frankie morales | javier peña | santiago garcia | jack daniels

Din can sleep practically anywhere anytime and is the lightest sleeper you’ll ever meet.

(Although the anytime bit is pretty much down to the fact that he often goes long periods of time without any proper sleep.)

At times you swear Din doesn’t even actually sleep, how can he be? When he’ll be asleep one moment but wide awake with his reflexes so sharp the next?

Truth is, along with being an exceedingly light sleeper he’s learnt to differentiate sounds even while he sleeps. That noise? That’s fine, the ship does that every now and again. That one? Kid, he’s still asleep. That one? Bad. Immediately awake.

For all that he is large and intimidating during the day, Din is used to making himself small when it comes to sleep. He’s used to sleeping in the tiny space that makes up his cot on the Razor Crest, and pretty much every single cot he finds himself on otherwise while working jobs - cash spent on a bigger room is cash he can’t spend on fuel or food. There’s also many times when Din will sleep rough.

You’ll rarely, if ever, find him asleep on his back. The weight of his armour presses down too much and the back armour piece is uncomfortable to lay on (because this man rarely removes it all and honey. Honey. We need to talk about that)

So given the chance Din would rather sleep on his side or propped up against something. It’s easier to get up that way and much more comfortable

For all appearances Din sleeps like the dead when he’s settled down - too long spent sleeping in that tiny bunk and not having the space, or perhaps used to napping on a job and needing to be more inconspicuous, once he’s dropped off he practically doesn’t move at all.

It soon becomes one way you can tell if he’s still awake; by his hands still slowly mapping your body, the grip in his fingers, the thumb rubbing soothing sweeps across your hairline or circles on your hip

It takes a long time for him to sleep without his armour, and that’s not only a comment on him becoming comfortable enough with you and your relationship, but also him finding peace in his daily life - he does not shed the mantle of bounty hunter and all the dangers that entails easily.

Until then you’ll have to make do with sharing the cot with one ridiculously solid and broad chested man and beskar is not warm.

To start with sharing the cot was a necessity, one that made his heart-rate sky rocket out of sheer nerves - the only close quarters Din is usually familiar with is a fight. But he settles into it as your partnership develops, though he still barely moves while he sleeps, at least until you’re intimate

Squished in as you are, with little space and even less with Din still wearing his armour, of course you end up touching in the night. The pauldrons don’t make for a good resting place for your head and it’s incredibly touching when he realises this and starts to remove them - just them, usually only one - for sleep.

Just one night there was a soft hm, a tilt of the helmet as he looked down and realised, before he quietly shuffled a confused you back so he could remove the offending item and then shifted you right back to where you’d been.

And then it was just habit, a thing he’d do before you both lay down for rest. It means you always sleep on his off side, his weaker shooting side, so he doesn’t have to remove the armour from the other.

(The first time he did it automatically when you’re weren’t set to share a cot - there being two available - was a little confusing to both parties)

Another thing to notice, specifically when you two become close and intimate, is that Din likes to sleep with you held to his chest, or at the very least with a hand on you. While he still wears the armour it’s cold and unforgiving, but it helps Din to sleep so you do. It helps him to feel the pressure of you against him and to know exactly where you are the moment he wakes, in case he wakes to something bad and needs to know that detail.

(He definitely panics if he wakes and you’ve somehow slipped out of his grasp while he slept)

It’s his way of always knowing you’re safe and it carries over even when the armour does eventually come off

And when it does come off? Din is the most touch-starved big spoon ever, congratulations, you’re never sleeping alone ever again

Even as this transition happens and the barrier that is the armour is removed Din still never sleeps on his back. He’d much rather be pressed as close to you as possible at all times to catch up on the years of sensations he’s been denied.

Din still holds you to his chest. He’ll hold you tucked into his embrace and breathe in the smell of your hair. Or he’ll slip down in the cot so he can nestle his face in the crook between neck and shoulder, sighing in content every time he does because that is home. A lot the time if he’s there he’ll press kisses to your shoulder, clavicle or neck, lips never leaving your skin until he falls asleep

Din has also learnt that he loves to be held but he’ll never face away from you when he is, turning around in your arms if you try to spoon from behind unless he’s really too tired to move

Even when he’s being held he’ll hold you tight, rocking back a bit on his side so he can get both arms around you, his head under yours, his face at its home against your neck

Din still sleeps clothed though - even bared as he is with you, to be entirely bare is a level of intimacy that Din finds incredibly overwhelming and easy to get lost in, so he sleeps in the threadbare long-sleeved shirt and loose trouser that constitute his pyjamas. You are, however, welcome to slip your hands under them and he finds your hand at his hip, fingers against old wounds, solidly comforting, if not at times arousing. (Bare skin on skin is often a confusing swirl of emotions for Din)

my masterlist

[maswritingblog]

After Last Night - Part 1

(gif credit: @welovegarretthedlund)

Characters: Benny Miller, Named Reader (AFAB), Brief mention of other Triple Frontier boys, OCs. Can the nearly 8k, unedited, word count be a character?

Warnings: 18+ ONLY! Explicit Smut: oral (f receiving), protected vaginal sex. Possibly ooc Benny Miller since this is my first time writing him. Alcohol. Insecurities. Age gap (10 years).

Summary: An unplanned one-night stand with a human golden retriever.

A/N: This is a reader insert, but I have named the reader. It’s just easier for me to write it that way. I chose a random name and I give no descriptions of “Kate” other than her age. Just picture yourself as a hot 45-year-old.

|||||

Ding!

Kate checked her phone as it went off, reading the group text one of her friends sent.

Come out and have some drinks with us tonight!

She glanced around at the pile of laundry she was in the middle of sorting and folding and sighed. She’d already settled in for the night and the idea of going out didn’t sound too appealing. She only had a couple of weekends a month without the kids, and she usually used them to relax and catch up on television and laundry.

Just as she picked up her phone to send back some lie about being busy with the kids, her phone dinged again, this time from one of the other friends in the group.

We know you don’t have the kids this weekend, we checked with Riley.

Wear something sexy! A third friend added.

“Dammit.” She muttered, slightly wishing that her ex-husband was an asshole that her friends had dropped when they’d divorced. Unfortunately, the whole thing had been pretty amicable and they all still got along well; it clearly wasn’t working in her favor tonight.

With no other viable excuses to ditch them tonight, she sighed and sent back a message asking where to meet them before she stood to go get changed.

|||||

Forty minutes later she found herself pushing her way into a crowded bar wearing a dress far shorter than a woman her age should own, much less wear. Her heels were already killing her feet and she was regretting every life decision that had led her to this point, but there was no going back now.

Eyes scanning the crowd, it didn’t take her long to spot the bright red hair of her closest friend seated at one of the tables against the back wall. She’d met Jennifer in college a lifetime ago and they had been close ever since. Jennifer had helped her through the divorce—because even an amicable separation was rough—and was always someone she could count on; that was probably the reason Kate allowed her to drag her out of her cozy home where she only had to worry about laundry and who the perp was on a rerun of Law & Order: SVU that she probably had seen two times already.

“Katie!” Jennifer squealed, waving her arm to flag her down as if she wasn’t making direct eye contact with the redhead.

By the time she managed to squeeze through the crowd and reach the table her other friends, Kim and Lillian, had returned with drinks in hand. Kate greeted all three with a quick hug and placed her clutch on the table. Her dress was a pale green color and fell to about two inches above her knee; thin chains served as the straps on her shoulders and her back was a bit more exposed than she would have preferred, but they had told her to wear something sexy and she was nothing if not disgustingly eager to please.

Lillian gaped. “Okay, when I said to wear something sexy, I definitely didn’t think you’d show up in that! You look insanely hot!”

Kate laughed, shaking her head with a roll of her eyes. They were always trying to gas her up, especially the last few years since she became single again.

“The guys here don’t stand a chance!” Kim added around the straw of her mixed drink.

“Well, the guys can relax tonight, I’m just here to have a good time with the girls. Nothing more.”

It was Jennifer’s turn to roll her eyes. “Please find some poor sap to take home tonight. You gotta get back in the saddle, you’re only young once!”

The other two murmured in agreement as Kate snorted. “Young? I’m 45 and I have two children under ten; I don’t think I’ve been young in a long time.”

Jennifer slammed her half-full pint on the table. “What I’m hearing is that you’re a single mom in her forties who has a banging bod and is in desperate need of an orgasm. So, I think we should remedy that tonight.”

“Who says I haven’t had an orgasm recently?”

“Your vibrator doesn’t count, that thing is in rough shape.”

Clearly there was no use in arguing, especially if her friends were going to keep shouting her private business over the music. With the amount of people pressed together in the bar, there was zero chance that Jennifer’s last statement had gone unheard. She wasn’t planning on taking anyone home tonight but the women before her didn’t take no for an answer, so the best option was to shut up and hope they forgot about it by the end of the night.

“I’m gonna go get a drink. A strong one.” She announced, turning and beginning the trek through the crowd to the bar.

She nearly put her bare arm down in a puddle of spilled beer when she made it and she had to resist the urge to grab some napkins to wipe it up, reminding herself that she wasn’t mother to whichever dick spilled their drink and didn’t bother to try to mop it up themselves. Instead, she slid down the bar a bit away from the mess and eyed the bartender working on drinks a few feet away; she was patient enough to wait for him to finish.

“Ah, shit!” a deep voice exclaimed next to her suddenly.

She startled and turned to find a man standing where she’d just been. He was tall, way taller than her, and had sandy blond hair that was a bit longer on top, a bit of scruff covering his jaw. He was holding up one of his arms, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and his left arm was dripping with the spilled beer she had just narrowly avoided.

On reflex, she turned and grabbed a handful of napkins from the bar caddy to her right and offered them towards him. Maybe it was just motherly instincts, or maybe she felt bad for not wiping the bar when she’d spotted it.

“Thanks,” he said, sounding genuine as he turned his too blue eyes towards her and grinned. He took the napkins off her hands and used half to wipe his arm, the other wiping up the mess on the bar top.

The bartender approached at that point and took her order, a vodka cranberry for herself and a fresh pint for Jennifer, who probably drained hers before Kate had even reached the bar.

The stranger wadded the mess of napkins into a ball and tossed them effortlessly into the trash can behind the bar before turning to her again. “Thanks again,” he said with a smile, extending his hand. “I’m Benny.”

Ever polite, she shook his hand firmly. “Kate. And don’t mention it.”

“Well, most people would have left me hanging out to dry…or drip I guess.”

She groaned at the terrible joke, and it earned her a chuckle.

“Let me buy your drinks for you?”

As much as she appreciated the effort, she had just handed him napkins. Plus, he looked considerably younger than her; a 45-year-old woman probably shouldn’t allow herself to be picked up by a 30-year-old.

She shook her head. “Please, it was just napkins.” She insisted, then added. “But thank you for the offer.”

He held up his hands in surrender, that smile still in place. At least he could take no for an answer.

The man behind the bar returned and placed her drinks in front of her, taking the cash she extended towards him with a nod of thanks before moving on to take Benny’s order.

As he requested four bottled beers, Kate prepared to return to the girls with her drinks but was stopped by Benny’s voice.

“Those both for you or is your boyfriend or girlfriend glaring daggers at me from a dark corner somewhere?”

Kate blinked in surprise at the blatant line. “Wow, does that work often or were you just trying something new?”

It was his turn to look surprised and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, I guess you kind of threw me off kilter when you didn’t fall for the paying for your drinks bit.” He admitted.

“No, that was good,” she smiled. “It might have worked if I hadn’t already decided I was going home alone tonight.” She paused, scanning his face. “And if you were older.”

Four beers appeared in front on the bar top and Benny quickly handed over some cash with a thank you. He faced her once more, two bottles balanced in each hand. “I’m older than I look, you know.”

Her eyes narrowed playfully. “I have a feeling you’re going to mention an age that’s still gonna make me feel like a cougar.”

“A cougar?” he asked, eyes raking her frame with a smirk in place. “I don’t know about that.”

Kate picked up her drinks and smiled at him. “Have a good night, Benny.”

As she turned to walk away, he called after her. “I’m thirty-five, by the way!”

“Still too young!” she called back, although she was a bit surprised to hear he was only ten years younger than her instead of fifteen. He was very attractive, someone she would have paid more attention when she was his age, but she was a different woman now. Even if he had been charming, handsome, and polite.

The look in Jennifer’s eyes when she made it back to the table almost made her turn around and leave the bar; it was clear that the girls had seen her talking to Benny and would not be letting this go. She set Jennifer’s pint on the table beside her empty glass and tried to ignore the questioning gazes from all three women.

Finally, Jennifer had enough. “Jesus, are you going to tell us who the gorgeous specimen of a man you were just flirting with at the bar was??”

“I was not flirting with him. We were talking.”

Kim snickered. “You were undressing each other with your eyes.”

“Not to mention the hole he was burning in your ass as you walked away.” Lillian added, causing Kate to choke on her vodka cranberry.

It wasn’t that she was surprised someone was checking her out, but that someone so young was clearly interesting in her. She didn’t exactly look her age, but she still looked older than Benny. He was handsome and would probably have a line of women ready to go home with him should he ask. Why had he shown interest in her versus the dozens of twenty-somethings partying around them?

Being single at her age had affected her self-esteem. Just the idea of trying to date was daunting; it would be impossible to find someone decent who would be interested in a forty-five-year-old but add in the fact that she had two children and it only got more complicated. The furthest she’d gotten was a third date with a forty-seven-year-old who had balked the moment she’d revealed she was a mother. She had thought someone closer to her age would be more accepting of her children, but it just wasn’t the case; she chalked it up to eternal bachelor syndrome.

Jennifer took a gulp of her new beer before speaking up. “So, what’s the plan then?”

It took a moment for her to register what she meant, and she sighed. “There is no plan, Jen. I told him I wasn’t interested.”

She was met with a chorus of protests from her friends.

“Kate, you really need to let loose. A little fun would be good for you.”

She shrugged. “I am having fun, I’m out with my girls.”

Her friends all shared looks of exasperation. They had been trying to get her back into the dating scene since her divorce, had even helped her get ready for dates or watched the kids whenever she couldn’t get a sitter. She appreciated their efforts, but she had started to think she should give up and stay single until she died of old age. She could focus on her children and her career, and maybe buy a better vibrator.

Jennifer spoke up. “Okay, so why did you tell him you weren’t interested when you clearly were?”

Taking in a gulp of her drink, she relished the burn from the vodka as she concluded that they would not be dropping the subject. Might as well give them the answers they wanted. “He’s too young. I’m not going to turn into a cougar, people will think I’m having a mid-life crisis. Or another one.”

Three sets of eyes scanned the bar, probably looking for Benny to try to gauge just how old he was.

“What is he, like thirty? That’s not too young for you, it’s not like he’s twenty-one.” Lillian supplied.

“He’s thirty-five.”

Jennifer didn’t even try to hide her laugh. “Bitch, he’s thirty-five??” she gaped. “Ten years is not that big of a deal when you’re both over thirty!”

Kim nodded. “Besides, we’re not telling you that you have to date him. Just have some fun with him tonight and then never see him again.”

A one-night stand? She hadn’t done that since college before she started dating Riley. Could she do it again with a stranger from a bar? It had been a while since she’d last slept with someone, and she did have the entire weekend to herself; she wouldn’t pick the kids up until after school on Monday.

But who would want to have a one-night stand with a woman in her forties? Clearly Benny had been interested, but would he be if he knew how old she was? It still baffled her that he had even tried his lines on her at the bar, but maybe it was just a reflex for him with a face like that.

He was handsome; as far as options went, she could do worse.

“I can see you considering it in your head!” Jennifer gasped; a grin spread across her beautiful face.

Heat rushed to her face, and she shook her head. “No, I really shouldn’t. Besides, once I told him I wasn’t interested, he probably moved onto a younger, hotter, more willing woman.”

All three of them shook their heads.

Kim leaned forward with a grin. “I’m going to assume he’s still interested based on the way he keeps checking you out from across the room.”

Her eyes widened and she resisted the urge to make a fool of herself by whipping around to scan the bar for his face. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the idea that he hadn’t moved on to someone else, that he was still fixated on her even though she had denied him. She could tell he was a gentleman by the fact that despite his continued interest in her, he didn’t keep pestering her. She liked that he understood boundaries.

Is that what had her heart racing like a schoolgirl? The way it definitely shouldn’t for a woman of her age, for a mother. She mentally scolded herself for the moment she entertained the idea of it going further; she couldn’t.

Jennifer’s eyes lit up. “I can tell you want to.” She spoke calmer this time, as if she didn’t want to spook her friend. “So, why not go for it?”

Kate shook her head. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. And I already told him no, I can’t just approach him and say I changed my mind.”

Jennifer cast her eyes over Kate’s shoulder at the man in question before leaning towards her friend. “Finish your drink.” She instructed.

She eyed her half full glass for a moment before shrugging and finishing it off in a few gulps.

Kim and Lillian cheered with excitement, giddy for what was to come.

Jen grinned in approval. “Now, go to the bar for another and try to make eye contact on the way. If he’s still interested, he’ll approach you. Just take it from there.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Lillian wondered.

“Well, then she carries on with her original plan of going home alone.”

She hesitated for a moment, considering her next move carefully. Part of her didn’t want to do it, but she chalked that up to nerves. The other part of her was screaming to allow herself to let loose and have some fun. She had to do more with her life than work and go to her kids’ soccer games and school plays.

But this was supposed to be a girls’ night and she felt like she was abandoning them. What to do, what to do.

After a moment, she sighed. “Are you guys sure? We were supposed to hang out and now I’m thinking about leaving with a stranger…?”

Lillian reached for her hand and squeezed. “Kate, you’ve been busting your ass at work and with the kids. We can hang out any time, this guy is here now; you may never run into each other again. Take the shot!”

The other two women voiced their agreement, and it was all Kate needed to make up her mind.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck!”

“Get that dick, girl!”

“Yeahhhh!”

They all chorused loudly, making Kate thankful the music in the bar was loud enough that only the table next to theirs heard the vulgar comment by Jennifer.

As she turned to walk towards the bar, her eyes scanned the room until she found Benny’s table. A quick study showed three other men seated with him, two with dark hair and one with blond hair a bit lighter than Benny’s. She turned away and began to navigate through the crowd of people towards the bar.

About halfway there, she glanced in the direction of his table and was surprised to find his eyes were already following her movement. They locked gazes for a moment before she offered him a small smile and looked away, moving to lean against the bar with her back to the room.

He looked, but would he join her or respect her original answer?

The bartender looked her way, and she ordered another drink as she felt a presence behind her. She could practically hear Jennifer’s voice in her head telling her to play it cool, so instead of whirling around immediately, she hesitated for a moment before glancing beside her.

Benny stood at the bar next to her, his eyes on the bartender as he too appeared to be playing it cool.

“Another round?” the bartender asked him as he placed another vodka cranberry in front of Kate.

Benny nodded. “Please.”

Kate took her chance as the bartender stepped away. “You guys chugging over there?” she wondered, stirring her drink with the tiny straw.

He leaned his elbow on the bar and faced her, grinning. “We know how to put ‘em away.”

She took a quick look at his friends, who were all laughing hard at something. “Looks like a rowdy bunch.” She commented, hoping he wouldn’t take offense. Based on the laugh he gave, she hit the nail on the head.

She liked the way his face lit up when he laughed.

“We can be,” he agreed. “Especially when Pope’s back in town.”

“You have a friend named Pope?”

He chuckled. “Nickname. Most of us go by the nicknames we got in the military.”

A military guy, that was interesting and a bit unexpected. He looked so young and carefree; it was hard to imagine him in a warzone. “Really? What was your nickname?”

He gave a sheepish look. “It was Benny. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the same unit as the other three; they got the nicknames there.”

Kate’s eyes turned back to his friends in confusion. “So, if they were in a different unit, how did you get involved?” she wondered, only thinking afterwards that it probably wasn’t her business.

Benny didn’t seem to mind the questions, though it might be because of who was asking. “The big ugly blond one is my brother. I met the others through him.”

She wondered if part of the reason he joked about his clearly handsome brother being ugly had anything to do with potentially living in his sibling’s shadow. She knew it was in good humor, but she sensed something more there. Perhaps the best course of action was to turn the conversation back to the two of them.

“So, are you still active duty or are you retired?” she wondered before taking a pull of her drink.

His drinks were placed in front of him, cash handed over to the bartender, but Benny didn’t make a move to leave her side. “Retired. I actually do MMA now.”

Kate’s eyebrows raised; he was just full of surprises. “Wow, that sounds intense.”

Those blue eyes of his were magnetic, drawing her in and making it nearly impossible to resist his natural charm. He was genuinely handsome, in a way that kind of overwhelmed her; maybe that was why she had a hard time believing he was interested in her.

“It can be,” he was nodding. “But it’s what I’m good at.”

She hummed. “Good at punching people or good at getting punched?”

“A bit of both, actually.” He laughed.

The two stared at each other for a moment, almost as if they were the only two people in the bar. Kate was sure that he could pick up any woman her wanted, but for some reason he had approached her. But, for all she knew, she could have been a last resort. Or maybe it was the ridiculously short dress. Either way, she wasn’t really regretting this conversation and she didn’t feel like she’d regret what she said next.

Placing her still full glass on the bar top, she leaned forward slightly and stared into those irresistible eyes. “Do you want to get out of here?”

There was a pause as he appeared to process what she had said, but then a wide grin split his handsome face and nearly blinded her. “Yeah!”

His enthusiasm reminded her that he was much younger than her, but for tonight it didn’t matter; she could be with whoever she wanted tonight.

“Great,” she smiled, grasping her drink again. “I should probably say bye to my friends. Meet me at the door?”

He nodded eagerly, moving to pick up the beers he’d just ordered. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll meet you there.”

Kate turned to weave her way through the crowd again. Through the throngs of mingling couples, she could see her friends watching her with bated breath as they waited to hear whether she had been successful. As she reached the table, an incredulous laugh bubbled up her throat and she shook her head.

“Okay, please tell me you are getting laid tonight?” Jennifer all but screeched.

Lillian interjected. “Please, did you see that smile he gave her? They are so about to bone.”

Kate cringed. “Jesus, who says ‘bone’ anymore, Lil?”

Jen’s hand smacked the table. “Bitch, we need answers!”

Placing her fresh drink on the table in front of Kim, she grinned. “You’ll have to finish that for me. I’m headed out.”

The three women erupted in cheers as she did her best to shush them.

“Calm down!” she begged, resisting the urge to glance over her shoulder to make sure Benny and his friends hadn’t heard.

A chorus of giggles surrounded the table before Jennifer spoke again. “Whose place are you going to? If you go to his, drop me a pin.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “He’s not going to murder me, Jen.”

“He could be a hot Ted Bundy type for all we know. Safety first, girl.”

A nod came from Kim. “And use a condom.”

She dropped her head in her hands with a groan. “I will be okay. But if it satisfies whatever paranoia you picked up from all those true crime documentaries, I will pin my location.”

“Okay, but you’re gonna use a condom, too, right?” Kim urged.

“Yes! Obviously, I’m going to use a condom!”

Before it could get any worse, she bid them goodbye and moved towards the door. When she neared it, she spotted Benny waiting patiently with a coat draped over his arm.

“Ready?” she asked, unable to resist smiling back at him when he grinned again.

That face splitting grin that practically blinded her as he replied. “Of course.”

Ever the gentleman, he pulled the door open for her and let her step outside first. As she shifted from the warmth of the bar to the chill of the night air, she stiffened and instantly regretted her dress once again.

“Here, you’ve gotta be freezing.” He was saying before she could so much as shiver.

She felt his presence behind her before his jacket was draped over her shoulders and she was surrounded by the smell of his cologne. The coat fell to just below the hem of her dress, so she was sure she looked basically nude underneath it, but it kept her top half warm; her legs were just going to suffer.

She tried not to act nearly as surprised as she felt at the generous offer as she thanked him; it had been a long time since anyone had been so chivalrous.

“So, where to?” he asked, staring down at her.

Kate realized even in her heels he was much taller than her and she wondered what his exact height was; it had to be well over six feet. Forcing herself to focus, she thought for a second. Did she want to do this in her home where her children were growing? Why did that idea feel so weird? Maybe it was the scandal of it all; a 45-year-old woman taking home a man ten years her junior. But she had asked him to leave, so wouldn’t be the right thing to do to offer her place?

Why was this so complicated?

Finally, she answered with a question of her own. “Yours or mine?”

His eyes flickered to the lower half of her face for a moment, and she resisted the urge to lick her lips.

“How about mine?” he wondered. “It’s not far from here.”

Thank god.

“That’s perfect.”

|||||

After catching a cab back to his place, which was a small but rather nice house only five or six miles from the bar, Kate found herself standing in the living room waiting for him to finish making the drink he’d offered her. She draped his coat over the back of the couch and glanced around the room, eyes falling to several frames hanging on the wall nearby.

There were a couple of photos of Benny and the man he’d mentioned was his brother, one of them when they were kids and one that looked recent. The other photos were of the group of men she’d seen at the bar; there was a fifth man that she didn’t recall being there tonight. Although they were all grinning in the pictures, she could tell they were a tough bunch of guys.

Snapping her attention away from the pictures at the sound of footsteps coming into the room, she turned in time for Benny to walk back into the room with a glass in each hand, one he was quick to offer her.

“Whiskey?”

She hummed in approval, sniffing the contents of the glass before taking a gulp and enjoying the way it burned her throat and warmed her chest on the way down. She caught his eyes over the rim of her glass and felt like those baby blues were burning hotter than the whiskey.

Was this actually happening? Jennifer had been trying to get her to ‘get back out there’ for more than a year now, but she had always been reluctant; what was it about Benny that had made her so interested? What was it about him that seemed to draw her in like a moth to a flame? She just hoped she wouldn’t get burned. This was the first time she’d slept with anyone since her divorce, not that she’d tell Benny that, and she could feel her nerves trying to get the better of her.

Placing her glass on the table next to her, she decided it was now or never.  

He seemed to agree as his glass joined hers.

Kate stepped forward, sliding one hand around his neck to cradle the back of his head, tugging his lips down to hers. It was like a rubber band snapped, the tension between the two of them finally brought to a head as they tasted each other’s mouths.

One of Benny’s arms wound tightly around her, pulling her body flush against his as his other hand wandered down over her hip, fingers gripping the thin material of her dress enough to lift the hem a bit further up her thigh.

His mouth left hers, trailing sloppy kisses across her cheek and down her throat as her chest heaved with anticipation. His teeth grazed her skin followed by the flick of his tongue and her eyes fluttered closed, lips parting in a gasp; she was so out of practice that the bare minimum was doing her in, and he clearly knew just how to unravel her.

Nails raking lightly over his scalp, she held on for dear life as she felt her legs grow weak.

“Bedroom?” she gasped out, thankful she managed not to stutter like a fool.

Benny slowly lifted his head from her neck and brushed his nose against hers. His bright blue eyes, darkened with lust, bored into hers as if searching for something. For a moment she worried he was having second thoughts, but then he pressed one more searing kiss to her lips before taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs.

His bedroom was the first door on the right; Benny flicked on the bedside lamp, and she glanced around the room. It looked organized yet lived in, the way that wasn’t too messy but had evidence of moments he was in a rush or just didn’t feel like putting something away.

Facing him again, she kept her eyes on his as she slowly stepped out of her heels. Her feet thanked her, and she knew they would ache in the morning, but it was far from her mind at the moment. He did the same with his shoes, kicking them to the side.

Despite the small pause to move upstairs, the energy had not changed between them. They met again, teeth clashing together as they kissed urgently. Kate’s hands tugged at his shirt, and he helped her pull it off before it was lost somewhere in the room. His warm hand smoothed up her bare back to grip the nape of her neck, a grunt leaving his throat as she gently tugged his bottom lip between her teeth.

It seemed to spur something within him, and he grasped her waist, turning them around so he could walk her backwards towards the bed. Within seconds of her legs hitting the edge of the mattress, she found herself on her back with his weight on top of her.

As his tongue continued to slide against hers, his hand ran over her body, brushing over her breast and down her stomach to her thigh. He slid his fingers beneath the hem of her dress, teasing the sensitive skin of her upper thigh before he slipped his hand up under the material where he teased the skin under the edge of her panties.

Mouth leaving hers, his eyes met hers as he lowered his head to press an open-mouthed kiss to her sternum. Turning his head, he nosed aside the top of her dress to mouth at her breast, stopping just shy of the hardened peak, no doubt to torment her.

His kissed his way down her body, over her dress, until he reached her parted thighs. Drawing back, his eyes locked with hers again as both hands reached beneath her dress to tug her panties down her legs. They were quickly abandoned wherever his shirt had ended up and he leaned down, licking a stripe up her inner thigh. There was a sting as he bit lightly at the supple flesh, eliciting a small gasp from her.

She could feel his lips quirk upward against her thigh as he enjoyed torturing her.

There was no time to tell him to get on with it because he suddenly turned his head and buried his face between her legs. Kate’s hand flew to his hair, tugging at the silky locks as he mouthed at her inner lips.

It had been so long since anyone had done this. Her ex-husband hadn’t been opposed to it, but when things in their marriage started to die down the sex became boring and almost routine. Now, here she was with a gorgeous, younger man enthusiastically going down on her; it was like he was enjoying it as much as she was.

And, oh, was she enjoying it.

Benny’s tongue ran the length of her pussy, before he sucked lightly at her clit. He had her legs draped over his shoulders, his hand palming at her thigh as he devoured her. She could feel the burn of his short facial hair on her thighs, but she relished it.

“Shit.” She gasped, her breath hitching high in her throat as she trembled and arched off the bed.

She briefly wondered how he got so good at this, but that thought vanished as he licked into her, his thumb moving to rub circles against her clit. And then she was a moaning mess as he drew an orgasm from her. She rocked her hips against his face as he worked her through her peak, fingers tightening in his hair causing him to groan against her; the vibrations only heightened the pleasure coursing through her.

“Fuck.” She cursed as her body fell limp against the bed, heart pounding as she panted.

Benny smirked against her, pressing a few more open-mouthed kisses to her before he pulled away and kneeled on the bed between her still spread legs. They locked eyes as he wiped his slick mouth and chin on the back of his hand.

Kate sat up, reaching for his belt buckle as he captured her mouth with his. She could taste herself on his tongue and she ripped his belt open, making quick work of the button and zipper before she whispered against his lips. “Condom?”

As he moved off the bed to open the top drawer of the nightstand, she gripped the hem of her dress and yanked it over her head, leaving her fully exposed as she laid back against the bed and watched him pull a condom out of the box. His hair was wild from the pull of her fingers, his chest rising as quickly as hers.

His eyes raked her naked frame as he faced her, and despite the usual insecurities she found she didn’t want to cover up to hide from his gaze; he clearly wanted her, at least in this moment, and it made her feel sexy. He shoved his pants and briefs down his legs, stepping out of them. His cock bobbed against his stomach, the tip red and leaking as he ripped the condom open with his teeth and quickly rolled it over his shaft. He wasn’t as thick as her ex had been, but he was longer and harder than Riley had managed to be the last few years of their marriage.

She really needed to stop comparing Benny to her ex-husband.

Thankfully, she was about to have an excellent distraction.

Benny climbed back into the bed, positioning himself over her with his hips between her thighs. He hovered over her, supporting his weight with his forearms on either side of her head. Reaching down, he hooked her leg over his hip before his hand slipped into the small space between their bodies and she felt the tip of him press against her slick folds. His gaze lowered between them as he rocked his hips forward slowly, pressing into her. As he slid inside her, his eyes returned to hers and he pulled his hips back slightly before thrusting forward and filling her completely.

They both moaned simultaneously, his forehead dropping to rest against hers as they laid still for a moment to revel in the feeling.

Kate’s body was humming, electricity pumping through her veins. She’d have to thank her friends for encouraging her to go home with Benny.

Tilting her chin up to capture his lips with hers, she rolled her hips against his and it was all he needed to start moving. He pulled back before driving forward again and again, his hips beginning to rock into hers building up a rhythm that had the breath leaving her lungs with every thrust inside her.

His mouth was trailing wet kisses across her chest, over the slope of her breast. She hissed as he tugged at her nipple with his teeth before soothing it with the flick of his tongue. As his attention traveled to the other side of her chest, she raked her nails down his back lightly making him moan against her flesh; it went straight to her core.

The room was filled with their panting and the squelch as he fucked into her. Kate normally would have died from embarrassment at how obviously wet she was, but she didn’t care. All the cared about was the way Benny’s cock speared against that spot inside her, driving her closer and closer to the edge.

“Shit, you feel good.” Benny gasped out as his head rested against the swell of her breast, his warm breath tickled her skin.

She dragged his mouth back up to hers and he was practically laying on top of her, his chest pressed against hers. Her nipples dragged through his chest hair, their stomachs bumping together as they rolled their hips in sync. The lack of space had him grinding against her clit with each thrust and she whimpered against his mouth, the pressure building and building.

She hadn’t felt this high in a long time; she spent so much time on others but hadn’t had much time for herself. She would have been fine with a simple girls’ night out, but she knew this was so much better, that this was exactly what she needed.

The grunts coming from Benny with each slide inside her told her he had similar sentiments.

“Oh, fuck.” She moaned, her head tipping back against the sheets. She trembled, her nails biting into his shoulders as she clung to him.

A strong hand lifted her leg higher on his hip, spreading her open further as he continued to thrust into her, the sound of their hips slapping together echoing off their moans.

And that was it. Kate arched against him, her whimpers filling the room as her walls pulsed around him.

Benny mouthed at the column of her throat as he let out a string of curses, his hips stuttering against hers as her pussy clenched tightly around his cock. “Fuck, shit. Fuck.” He ground his pelvis against hers, working her through her climax. His moans told her he was close.

She worked her hips quickly with his, fingers tugging at his hair and nails biting down his back. He bucked against her only a few more times before his body tightened above her and he moaned with what almost sounded like relief. She could feel him jerking inside her as he spilled into the condom.

They were still for a moment, still wrapped around one another as they came down from their highs. Finally, he eased out of her, and she heard him dispose of the condom before he collapsed on the bed beside her. They were laying sideways across the bed, one of her feet dangling over the edge.

As the warmth of his body left her, she felt the sweat cool on her skin and shivered. Her body felt loose, more relaxed than she had been in a long time and she once again reminded herself to thank her friends for inviting her out tonight.

||||||

She was jolted awake by her phone dinging, alerting her to a text message. Groaning, she snuggled deeper under the blanket intent on ignoring the device for at least another hour. Just as she was about to drift to back to sleep, she remembered the night before and froze.

Eyes opening, she found herself still laying in Benny’s bed. The blanket was draped over her nude frame and the other side of the bed was empty. She felt embarrassment flood her; she was supposed to have a one-night stand and get out of here, not spend the night.

God, what was she going to do?

Sitting up slowly, she felt familiar ache between her legs. Her thighs were still sticky from her own slick and she when she looked down, she spotted a raw patch on her inner thigh from his facial hair. She sat still and listened for any sounds in the house, but it was silent. Had he left so he didn’t have to be here when she woke up?

Deciding that it was a sign, she stood on shaky legs and reached for her dress where it was crumpled in the floor. Tugging it back over her body, she began the search for her panties, finally finding them in the far corner of the room; Benny had really flung them the night before.

She ducked into the en suite bathroom and cleaned herself up the best she could before slipping her underwear back on and returning to the room for her shoes. Her phone dinged again, and she spotted her clutch sitting on the nightstand. She hadn’t brough it upstairs with her, which meant he had taken the time to put it there. Probably so she could leave quicker.

Slipping her heels on, she snatched her clutch off the nightstand and peeked into the hall for any sign of Benny. Once she was sure it was clear, she began to slip down the stairs as quiet as she could in her heels.

About halfway down she heard the front door open and froze, lifting her head and locking eyes with Benny. He was dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and a hoodie, a ballcap backwards on his head which only made him look even younger.

“Morning,” he grinned at her, shutting the door behind him and tossing his keys on the hall table. He held up a cup holder that contained two disposable coffee cups and a baggie balanced between them. “Breakfast?”

Kate stepped down the stairs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night.” She apologized, trying her best to not just run for the door out of embarrassment.

Benny pulled the cap off his head, hanging it on the nearby coat rack as he chuckled. “I actually asked you to stay, but I think you were already asleep by then.”

She hid her face in her hand for a moment. “Sorry, it was a long day yesterday and—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her, chuckling again. “I’ve got muffins and coffee if you’re interested.”

She watched him walk through the living room to the kitchen and realized he was giving her the choice to leave if she wanted to. She paused to think it over; Jennifer would tell her to get out, but for some reason she wanted to have breakfast with him. Something about him made her want to get to know him better than she had the night before.

He was sitting at the small table in the kitchen when she entered, and he seemed genuinely pleased to see her join him. As she sat across from him, he pushed one of the coffees towards her.

“Blueberry or banana nut?” he asked, holding up the bag of muffins.

She hummed appreciatively at the taste of the coffee. “Banana nut, please.”

She accepted the muffin and managed to take two bites of the muffin before he spoke.

“So, can I ask you something that my mother always told me never to ask a woman?”

Kate frowned curiously, trying to guess what it could be and how offended she was about to feel. “Sure.” She replied cautiously, placing her muffin down to give him her full attention.

He almost seemed nervous to ask, but he cleared his throat and did anyway. “You said something about being a cougar and it confused me because I’m pretty sure cougars are usually in their fifties or sixties, so…can I ask how old you are?”

Not what she expected, but it wasn’t surprising that he may have been hung up on that part of their conversation from the bar. Smirking, she decided to tease him a bit. “How old would I have to be to scare you off?”

He mirrored her smirk. “After last night, you could tell me you’re 100 and I’d be okay with it.”

She let out a startled laugh, eyebrows raising high on her forehead. “100, wow! Was it that good?”

“Mmm, if you’re gonna have an ego about it, I take it back.”

They shared a laugh that had both their shoulders shaking before she shook her head. “Well, I promise I’m not 100-years-old.” She paused nervously. “I actually just turned 45.”

He didn’t even flinch or seem bothered by her answer. “Thank god, I don’t think my brother would have let me live it down if you were actually 100.”

|||||

They finished the rest of their breakfast in a comfortable silence before he called her a cab. His car was apparently in the shop, he revealed when he mentioned he’d jogged to the café earlier. As she stepped out the door, feeling like she was in college again doing a walk of shame in the clothes from last night, he stopped her.

“Hey,” he stepped outside, eyeing the cab before facing her. “Can I call you sometime?”

It’s a one-night stand! She could practically hear Jennifer scream at her as she gave Benny a small smile and held out her hand. “Give me your phone.”

He gave her that blinding grin and pulled his cell out of the pocket of his hoodie, unlocking it before slipping it into her waiting palm.

She typed her number into a new contact file and put her name as ‘Kate – 100yo’ before handing it back to him. “I guess I’ll see you around, Benny.”

She was grateful she managed not to trip in her heels as she walked towards the cab, climbing inside and giving her address to the driver. As the yellow car pulled away from the curb, she glanced back to see Benny still standing on his doorstep watching the cab drive down the road. Her cheeks felt warm at the idea of him calling her, and she mentally scolded herself for acting like a schoolgirl.

Pulling her phone from her clutch, she couldn’t contain her laugh as she read the last two texts she’d received from Jennifer.

You didn’t send me a pin!

I hope you forgot because you were getting your world rocked and he didn’t kill you!

[mrpenguinpants]

Bennett: Affection HCs

I KNEW I HAD THIS ASK IN MY INBOX AND I JUST READ BENNETT’S BIRTHDAY LETTER TO YOU SO I SAID FUCK IT. I’M WRITING THIS. I MAY HAVE 2 FICS IN THE PROCESS BUT I CARE ABOUT BENNETT SO MUCH. 

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Xiao Ver: Affection HCs

Bennet: Windblume Love Letter HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

 @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact​ @morthecreator​ @ aanne2601 @aklxojjk​ @fulltimeventisimp​ @hanniejji​

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Bennett: Affection HCs

Bennett has so much love and affection to share but he’s also so shy and awkward in his delivery. It’s so endearing that you can’t help but but try and stifle your giggles lest he get more embarrassed. He just get’s so nervous since this is his first relationship and he knows his track record on luck isn’t super bright so he’s always fumbling. Trying to force his nerves away when he wants to hold your hand but as soon as he reaches out to lace your fingers, you’ll turn around, and Bennett throws his arm back so hard that he accidently pops his shoulder out of his socket. While you’re fretting over him he’s trying to reassure you that he’s completely fine and that this happens all the time. Which isn’t very comforting, he thinks things could have been worse. What if he accidently slips and drags you down with him or even worse, his pyro vision acts up and he has sweaty hands? He’s screaming internally at that.

Bennett totally reads romance novels to get a better understanding on what a relationship is like but his execution is a bit questionable. He tries to be suave and attempts to wrap his arm around your shoulder but he accidently slips halfway and he’s fallen into the fountain. But when he hears your barely contained chuckles as you try and help him out, he can’t help but feel a flutter in his chest that he doesn’t mind the unlucky accidents that happen to him if it makes you laugh. He’ll shake the water out of his hair and grin at you before he takes your hand in his and you both go back to the church to dry him off.

Whenever he sees you he has to take a couple minutes to calm his heart. Even when he’s out with Fischl and she’s talking in her special way, as soon as he catches sight of you, he’s sighing in adoration with the love-sick puppy eyes. That’s when Fischl knows she’s completely lost Bennett and you’re probably behind her. She sighs out a bit exasperated as she shrugs before she’s dragging him to meet up with you. No matter how red Bennett gets or what he’s yelling, Fischl has a death grip on him and grins smugly before she calls out your name to let you know someone’s got heart eyes for you.

While he’s extremely grateful to the Adventures guild and Mondstadt, having you beside him really hits deep. That you accept and love him despite the unlucky streak he has. You are so special in his eyes and the fact you choose to stay with him makes him sniffle a bit. Somedays he wakes up and can’t help but feel the rush of happiness he feels just being able to see your smiling face. He might get poked fun from his Dads but it’s completely worth it. It’s actually really wholesome when Bennett wants to introduce you to his family since they already know plenty about you because Bennett will literally not shut up about you.

The praise he receives from his dads and Katherine make him grin happily but when you praise him, he ends up growing so shy and pink. Awkwardly scratching at his cheek as he says it wasn’t that big of a deal just because he wants to hear you praise him more. He’s pretty hard on himself so your words really mean a lot to him. Likewise, Bennett is super optimistic. He’s your #1 cheerleader and it’s contagious adopting his positivity outlook on life. Whatever you’re interested in or wish to do, he’s fully on board and supportive.

He’s always coming back from his adventures with scraps and cuts that it really concerns you when Bennett shakes his pain away. He’s always had a head-first battle tactic that’s not easy to change in one day, so instead you ask Barbara to teach your some healing abilities or tips to try and help him out a bit. While you’re a bit clumsy and not as well-versed as Barbara. Bennett still hugs you with so much force as he exclaims he’s never felt so empowered before.

When Bennett feels sad, he’ll lean his shoulder against yours and close his eyes. Slowly moving down until it’s his head against your arm. He stays there before you reach over and place his head in your lap and slowly run your fingers through his hair. It’s a small and ordinary moment but it means the whole world to Bennett.

Bennett always keeps whatever you give him in a special pouch, from a small slip of paper wishing him luck to the small four leaf clover you gave him, it’s always on him whenever he sets out. He knows that despite his best wishes, you can’t spent every waking moment together and he doesn’t want to endanger you with his bad luck on more dangerous expeditions. He actually full on bawled when you said you wanted to join the "Benny's Adventure Team" and actually stuck around even after all the unfortunate incidents that happened. But whenever he’s far away from Mondstadt, away from you, he’ll take a small break and go through the small trinkets you’ve given to him with the softest smile as he handles them with care. They are his treasures after all.

It’s been a rather challenging adventure today. Bennett and you took on a commission to investigate a hilichurl camp on Starsnatch cliff only to run across an Eye of the Storm instead. While you both managed to defeat it, you both got your fair share of cuts from the anemo winds and the hard ground when you had to dive away from the orb crashing down. You’re silently thanking yourself for taking those lessons from Barbara as you’re trying to patch him up. 

“Sorry, I didn’t expect an Eye of Storm to appear instead. I guess my bad luck is spreading again,” Bennett chuckles awkwardly to himself as he winces a tiny bit at the throb of his cuts. You simply shake it off as you try and gently place the cloth back on his cheek to wipe away the small amount of blood. You’re just happy that you both managed to get away from that monster without any serious injuries. 

“Don’t say that Bennett, we defeated it didn’t we? That’s one less problem for the Adventures guild right?” you say as you smile encouragingly at him. He nods in silent agreement but his eyes rake over the cuts and on arms and knees and he can’t help feel sadden. He gently pushes your hands away from his injury's as he opens his own pouch that carries his adhesive bandages to place upon your scrapes.

“Bennett?” you question. You’re so used to the happy go lucky Bennett that this sudden quiet atmosphere looms above you as Bennett quickly returns the favour. It’s only when he takes a small moment to scan your body for anything he missed before he takes your hands in his. Rubbing small circles over your skin, whether he’s trying to comfort you or himself into speaking you’re not entirely sure. 

“There’s a dream I want to tell you about. I want to find the most valuable treasure to give back to Mondstadt and get our Adventures guild to become the biggest branch in Teyvat. That way my Dad’s can take a break and we can go adventuring all over the world. We can go visit Fischl at her home or take Razor to see the ocean!” he grins happily at you as his eyes light up in such a way that it takes you a few moments to register what he’s saying. You can feel such a rush of love pour into your system at his wholesome dream that you can’t help but clutch his hands closer to yourself. 

“I’ll stay beside you the entire time and I promise we’ll make your dream a reality. Benny's Adventure Team will be the greatest adventure team there ever was,” you lean forward and boop your nose against his, “But you need to take better care of yourself first mister.”

“Now come on. Let’s go home together Bennett,” you smile down at him as you stand up and extend your hand out to him. It takes a few moments for Bennett to act as he gazes up at you. The hand that’s been placed in front of him as support in so many of his unlucky incidents, covered in the bandages he carries around from the family he cares about, the hand that is still there after everything. Bennet knows he’s always been unlucky. That’s just the way it is. He’s always running on what drops of luck he can grab and live life to the fullest but right now. Even with the dull stings of anemo winds on his cheeks, the throb of new bruises he’s probably developing, he reaches out and takes your hand. He’s never felt luckier in his entire life.

---

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go gag on the sugar I just wrote. I may have strayed away from the affection hcs but I care about Bennett and his character stories cripples me. I had to re-write this so there are some issues but I’m tired. Either way, Happy birthday best boy 💕💕💕

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x9 thoughts

It’s no secret that I absolutely adore Coach Beard; he’s one of my favorite characters on the show, and he’s so well-written and well-acted that somehow I tend to be both perfectly satisfied with the details we see and truly curious to understand more about the way he thinks, what’s really happening re: his professional and personal devotion to Ted, where he comes from and where he’s going. I don’t need to know his name beyond the name he wants to be called, but I want to know why we don’t have any other names for him. And I don’t need him to be a bigger focal point of every episode, but I very much needed this episode’s world-exploding reminder that every single character on this show has a rich inner life, full of joys and troubles.

“Beard After Hours” is like a movie, but one that scatters its climaxes and puts off its resolutions...because it’s not a movie. It’s episode nine of a twelve-episode season of TV. When the episode ended, I felt this almost frantic “But he needed to break up with Jane for good before the end of the episode!” feeling. I was so pulled in by the idea of being able to tell an entire story in one night, of going on an odyssey alongside a complicated hero, that watching Beard and Jane find each other in that club felt as intense as the fact that we don’t know if Ted responded to Rebecca’s voicemail and we don’t know what’s going to happen with Rebecca and Sam and we don’t know who isn’t getting married and who is having a funeral in 2x10 (I mean, I have my strong suspicions, but still!) and we don’t know if Richmond will be promoted back to the Premier League. And on and on. I didn’t mind feeling desperate for the story to resolve even though I understood after thinking about it for ten seconds that of course it couldn’t resolve yet. Or ever. Or yet.

I’m a big fan of the TL episode recaps/reviews Linda Holmes writes for NPR, and I have to quote something from this week’s directly because it so perfectly explains my feelings:

The power of the scene where Beard dances in the club isn't that it's a beautiful romantic climax. It's that it's an explanation of why he cannot seem to extricate himself from this bad relationship. What makes the worst relationships so dangerous is that they have elements that feel good that are very hard to get elsewhere. Beard knows that; he tells it to God. What's concerning isn't that Jane makes the world seem more interesting; what's concerning is she's the only thing that does. That doesn't take away from the joy of the dancing; it just tells you that even happiness is complicated.

I love Holmes’ perspective here so much, because it articulates something I was struggling to figure out: how it can feel so legitimate, like such a (temporary but nonetheless powerful) relief, for Beard to find Jane in that club and to have this moment of euphoria as his night nears an end. How it is possible to experience that relief on behalf of a character while fervently wishing it could end differently, because it’s so clear from the abusive text messages and the toxic calls and the manipulative interactions that Jane is terrible to him and they’re terrible for each other. But Beard knows this. He knows it when he hugs Higgins in the parking lot after Higgins is honest with him in a way Ted and Rebecca and Keeley have not learned how to be, and he knows it when part of his prayer includes the clear articulation that Jane isn’t the cure for what “ails me.” He’s inching closer to greater self-knowledge just as Ted is.

And the two big resolutions that really, really needed to happen did. I didn’t know I needed Paul, Baz, and Jeremy to get to wrap up their own night out on the pitch at Nelson Road, but I did. It brought actual tears to my eyes. And the other resolution was Beard showing up with the other coaches’ coffees for their meeting to watch the game film. As interesting as it would have been to see what Ted would have done if Beard hadn’t shown up, I’m so, so glad that he did. He’s got a messed-up face and some truly epic pants on, but otherwise this is just Beard showing up for work, showing up for his friends. It was incredible to realize that Beard and Ted haven’t been exaggerating when they’ve referred to his sex-and-drug proclivities in the past. The night documented in 2x9 might have been particularly scary and violent and euphoric and awful and meaningful, but this type of all-night adventure isn’t a foreign concept for this guy. In all the other episodes of this show, when we see Beard we’re seeing someone who might have been out all night, who might have spent the hours the sun was down desperately pushing himself closer to whatever edges he could find.

I don’t really want to touch upon all the allusions in this episode. They are abundant, they are well-documented, and also I haven’t even seen the movie After Hours. I enjoyed this episode for its allusive qualities and I enjoyed this episode for what it was and I feel like I have to be at peace with the fact that I’m never going to pick up on every single reference on this show and that is okay.

So, yeah, if this entry on my tumblr dot com blog seems remarkably devoid of references and allusions, it’s not because I’m not into it but because I find it too overwhelming to actually write about.

Very into the Misplaced and Discovered box at the Crown and Anchor. (That’s what Mae wrote on the Lost and Found box at the pub, right? Whatever it is, it’s so funny.)

Beard hallucinating Thierry Henry and Gary Lineker was truly upsetting and a great indicator not only of how broken things are between the Richmond coaching staff right now but also how deep Beard’s self-loathing might go. If you’d asked me before Thursday if I thought Beard loathed himself, I would say no. That deepening of knowledge alone makes 2x9 worth it.

James Tartt and his friends in the alley. Such a nightmare. I go back and forth on how much of the night was real, and part of me has decided all of it is, short of the images of Henry and Lineker. (And even that is real to the extent that it was a way of articulating what was in Beard’s head.) But watching Beard in physical danger brought on by the same abuser who had him so upset in the first place. It was a lot.

I’m so excited that Paul and Jeremy and Baz got some spotlight this episode. It was so wonderful to see them out of the pub. I love that they ended up telling the Oxford snots who they really were. They got to see Beard going to bat for them and smoothing over the situation socially, and that actually made it more possible for them to end up being truthful about themselves. Because they have nothing to be ashamed of, and they deserved the magic of that night. (And for it to end on Nelson Road. Every feeling. Oof.)

I feel like I barely have anything to say about the trouser-mending lady or the many places Beard goes or his key-dropping or the nightmarish feeling of wanting to be home and being unable to be home. It all happened and we all watched it and again, it was a lot. But I do feel incredibly moved and fascinated by the fact that Beard very obviously still hasn’t been home when he brings in the coffee. He’s had to sleep at the club for Jane- and key-related reasons in the past, and this time it’s not that he’s slept there but it still feels like a kind of homecoming he was robbed of for the entire night. Ted and Roy and Nate are there. He’s gotten their coffee orders correct. Ted is growing and evolving (he wants to learn from what’s happened, he’s insisting upon it even when the others resist) but he’s done a really perfect (almost romantic in its loveliness) thing by presumably spending his evening following a breakdown of his own speeding up the game film to 10x speed and adding Benny Hill. Ted is not OK and Beard is not OK and Nate is not OK and Roy is pretty OK but could very easily be not OK because he’s just joined a coaching staff with a whole lot of not OK. But they all showed up.

I am very into the realism of the lights being off in the club other than the coaches’ office (@talldecafcappuccino pointed this out!), and the way we’re seeing their desks from a different angle because this episode is unfocused on Ted. It really added to the mindset of being hungover and exhausted and unable to go home or even to know exactly what home should be; even this warm, familiar place feels off even as it’s a relief to be back there.

I am excited to return to our regularly scheduled programming with the full cast of characters, but I really adored this episode for what it taught us about Beard and what it illuminated about the humor, pain, and complexity of each person who inhabits this universe. Beard may not be loud about his long-standing beliefs or about the things he’s learned, but there’s a lot happening in there and I appreciated getting to spend 43 minutes with him and (in the case of the ticket he scrawls on a piece of paper so the pub guys can get into Nelson Road) the moments he sets in motion.