#anatomy?whack! lines? WHACK

[beardedhandstoadshark]

What’s the most difficult pose to you and how long it took you to successfully draw it?

Dynamic poses/poses in motions. For static ones you can always just make photos of yourself if nothing else works, but motion…oof. As for time, 0 because I’ve yet to draw them in a way that’s satisfying enough ^^;

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

something that kind of annoys me is when peoiple genuinely criticise tom taylor's nightwing run by saying "dick is so out of character in those 2 issues where he gets the shit beaten out of him and then falls through his window"

bc

that is taken out of the context of dick recovering from a traumatic brain injury so yeah he's going to be off balance after being whacked in the head MULTIPLE TIMES what are you talking about?!?!

it's ok, just breathe

the panel for reference

Nightwing (2016) #83 pp. 12

don't believe me?

dick gets shot in the head just above his left ear, which you can see in both of these panels and in the cover for nightwing (2016) #50 (if you pretend if's a mirror image bc why is it on the right)

Batman (2016) #55 pp. 21 Nightwing (2016) #50 pp. 2

Nightwing (2016) #50 Cover

you can also see his brain scans in the same issue which nicely show the area of damage and literally list what happened

Nightwing (2016) #50 pp. 2

so he lost bone (skull), blood (obviously), brain tissue (we'll come back to this), cerebrospinal fluid (bc there was a whole in his head), and suffered from severe vascular swelling (we'll return here too)

so, what brain tissue did dick lose?

here's the very basic anatomy of the human brain

John Hopkins Medicine - https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/anatomy-of-the-brain (i drew the red circle)

now the ears sit just in front of the cerebellum, roughly somewhere around the red circle which lines up with the brain scan showing the damage is roughly in that notch where the temporal lobe and parietal lobe meet

the temporal lobe is involved with speech, rhythm, and short term memory

the parietal lobe is involved with pain and touch recognition, recognising objects, and oh would you look at that, spatial recognition

dick go shot in the part of the brain that tells the body where it is in relation to objects

no wonder he had a hard time fighting and trying to climb through windows, his coordination was all fucky

now the cerebellum is the part of the brain that affects balance BUT but but but we haven't talked about vascular swelling yet

vascular swelling is where the walls of the blood vessels swell (whodathunk) and this causes a reduction in the blood supply as they swell inwards

outward swelling with increase pressure on the brain which is not good either BUT this reduced blood flow = less oxygen to the brain = damage

there's a reason the symptoms of hypoxia pre-passing out are pretty much limited to your brain bc that's the organ that goes first

so with a decrease in bloodflow to his brain, there is a decent change damage was also done to every single part of his brain

now the blood supply does come in past the cerebellum so tbh there probably wouldn't be that much damage if at all however even with that it would explain how dick was still effected from getting shot

so having learned all that, lets take a look at issues 81 & 83 shall we

in #81...

Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 5

he gets whacked in the head by heartless, someone with enhanced strength

Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 12

he passes out because he's been whacked on the head near to where he was shot

Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 13

this is nicely confirmed by babs

Nightwing (2016) #81 pp. 19

he gets pushed back whilst fighting and due to his injury induced lack of spatial awareness, he falls down the stairs

then in #83, after fighting blockbuster, almost getting shot again, and flying through a helicopter...

Nightwing (2016) #83 pp. 12

he falls through his window

so yeah, i do think this is reasonable for dick to do given he's recovering from a brain injury and has just been hit in the head and probably hit it whilst falling down the stairs

and if you've made it this far, i want to emphasise the 20 million valid reasons to criticise tom taylor's nightwing run, but this just isn't one of them

[asamiontop]

Supercorptober - Wild or…

Captain Underpants (also on Ao3)

Lena: Text me when you get this.

Kara squints at the message. If she narrows her eyes to slits, the photonic assault hurts her eyeballs less. The text is from Lena, so she answers right away. Doesn’t matter that it’s far past late at night and still hours away from early morning.

Kara: hey got your message. what’s up?

She thinks, mistakenly, that Lena will be asleep. She hopes, misguidedly, that that will afford her a few precious hours of rest herself. Her phone chimes and shatters that fantasy in its infancy.

Lena: Are you home?

That’s concerning. Even through the swampiness of fading inebriation and a blossoming hangover, Kara’s synapses spark to life at the idea that Lena may be in trouble.

Kara: I’m home. everything okay?

The response comes back so fast that Kara suspects Lena started typing before she’d even answered.

Lena: I’m coming over.

Kara glances blearily at her alarm clock. 2:47am. Something is definitely wrong.

It’s a testament to her body’s exhaustion that, despite the urgency, Kara manages to fall asleep. She jolts awake to the sound of cannonballs exploding in her ears, the echoes rattling around in her skull. Her superhearing is out of whack from the sleep or the alcohol or both and nearby noise is amplified a thousandfold. The resounding knock at her door sounds more like a battering ram than a fist.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice drifts through the apartment and all other noise seems to melt away. The soothing effect is immediate. Kara’s heart slides back down her throat and thumps in relief. She sags into her pillow with a sigh before she remembers the fact that Lena is visiting her at three in the morning.

Kara superspeeds to the entryway. She just barely reminds herself to touch down on the floor before unlocking the deadbolt.

“Lena!” Kara whips her door open. She’s prepared for the whole range of human emotion, perhaps some tears or sobs or panic or any external sign of distress.

Instead Lena greets her with pursed lips (puckered in that distracting way that accentuates the crisp line of her jaw), a tilted head, and brassy raise of her eyebrow. Lena looks as beautiful as ever in the middle of the night, but she certainly does not appear distressed.

She gives Kara an undisguised once-over.

“Hello, Supergirl,” Lena deadpans.

All the oxygen leaves the room. Kara’s anatomy doesn’t require much of it, but she still feels like she’s choking on the lack of air. Her eyes bug out and she momentarily loses all cognitive function as her half-drunk system begins a hard reboot into this new reality where apparently Lena now knows her secret identity. The corner of Lena’s mouth twitches victoriously and somehow that is what kicks Kara back to the land of the living.

Without so much as a warning, she snags Lena by the wrist and yanks her bodily into the apartment. It’s a whole miracle Kara doesn’t slam the door off its hinges as Lena stumbles past the threshold.

“Heh—Supergi—that’s funny—what, uh.” Kara squeaks, sounding totally normal. She whirls around to face her friend with a manic laugh and round, wild eyes, “W-what are you talking about?”

Alex teases Kara relentlessly for her inability to play it cool. As she scratches the back of her own neck only to realize that her hair is down and her glasses are sitting uselessly on her nightstand, then completely misses the wall she intended to lean against and surreptitiously floats to keep her balance, Kara admits that her sister may be onto something.

“Kara, please.” Lena’s eyebrow lifts so high that her forehead wrinkles to accommodate it. “Don’t insult me.”

She opens her mouth to speak but something about the way Lena’s regarding her—resolute and impatient, like she’s just waiting for Kara to catch up so they can move on— makes her snap her jaw shut. Kara abandons her remaining denial with a long exhale.

She can’t help but cling to a thread or plausible deniability though.

“What, um.” Kara clears her throat. “What makes you think that I’m—” her voice cracks on the words, so foreign to her in this context— “that I’m Supergirl?”

Instead of answering, Lena raises an unimpressed eyebrow. Wordlessly, she turns on her heel and heads for Kara’s coffee table. Puzzled, the superhero follows. She just about combusts when Lena flicks on the television.

There, in what must have been filmed by a cell-phone, is Supergirl, twirling through the air suitless and cape-less—wearing nothing save for a matching sports bra and boxers. Kara’s jaw unhinges. She thinks her eyes hurt from how wide they’ve gotten. Supergirl’s hair is blowing freely in the breeze and she looks absolutely delighted as she corkscrews aimlessly above the city, half-naked and carefree.

Kara watches in horror as the video zooms in shamelessly on her butt. (Rao damn The Fruit for stuffing their mobile devices with such capable cameras.) This, mortifyingly, is precisely where Lena chooses to pause the coverage. She clicks the remote, freezing the frame on a screenful of Kara’s backside, and points an elegant but accusatory finger at the blown-up image of Kara’s favorite underwear.

It’s not just any old set of underwear. These ones are indescribably soft and comfortable. They fit just right, snug in all the right places, and they are adorned with a bizarrely adorable pattern of cartoon potstickers, puppies, and chopsticks. Most precious of all, they were a gift from one Lena Luthor last Christmas.

Kara ventures a shifty glance at the CEO, whose eyebrow is still quirked expectantly.

Stupidly, Kara blurts the first thing occurs to her. “That could be anyone.”

A second eyebrow climbs to match the first, shifting Lena’s expression from confident to incredulous in a single movement.

“I—I mean,” the superhero stammers, “it’s a really cute pattern a-and maybe Supergirl got herself the same set you bought me.”

Lena’s eyes close slowly, patiently and she shakes her head. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she mutters, “I don’t see how that’s possible.”

“Why not?” Kara demands, incomprehensibly committed to her flimsy excuse. “Lots of people like potstickers and puppies!”

“Because they are custom, Kara.” Lena’s head tilts sharply and she skewers the blonde with a pointed look. “I had them custom-made for your gift.”

“Oh.” Kara blinks. “You did?” Her voice ticks up at the end, betraying how oddly touched she feels at the gesture.

Lena appears exhausted but at least somewhat amused now. “Yes. Did you think I happened to fortuitously stumble upon the exact combination of all your favorite things printed on the exact type of undergarment you happen to favor?”

“Um… yes?” Kara shrugs even as the feeble defense crumbles around her. “You can find anything on the internet nowadays.”

Lena sighs. “Kara.” The super’s eyes lock on hers and Lena deliberately drags her green gaze down Kara’s front and slowly back up.

The hint of heat in Lena’s eyes isn’t lost on the Kryptonian, so her face is already two shades pinker than normal when she follows Lena’s stare down her own body.

Her cheeks flame up fully at the visual reminder that she is in fact still wearing the offending undergarments and precious little else.

“Oh.” Kara swallows. She is fully on display for Lena—not only mostly undressed, which induces its own type of stirrings in her belly, but also in clothes unmistakably identical to the superhero frozen on the screen. It’s four coincidences too many.

“Oh,” Lena parrots, nodding once.

Kara’s arms cross instinctively over her bare stomach. She’s ashamed. Not of her body, but of attempting to keep up such a charade without a lick of self-awareness. Mostly, she’s ashamed of hiding the truth from the person with whom she’d most wanted to share it.

Frankly, it’s a monumental relief to be unshackled from her secret. Without the burden of her identity, Kara can truly give Lena her full self, share all the bits and pieces of her that have sat leaden and unspoken on the tip of her tongue for months. Now that Kara has the liberty to be well and truly honest, maybe she can finally entertain the budding intimacy and extra warmth that’s been building around her best friend. She’s never felt quite so enthralled to be the focus of someone’s gaze before and maybe if—

Kara shakes her head, clearing away the cobwebs of hope. There’s a very different reality to be faced right now.

Casting an anxious glance at her feet, Kara flexes her toes and reaches for the grounding sensation of the grain in the hardwood.

Kara swallows thickly, mind alight with all the wrong turns this revelation can take, all the covert ways her secret could have already poisoned their relationship beyond recovery.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbles, forcing her voice to remain steady even as she collapses into a defeated heap on the couch.

After a few seconds of silence, she gathers all the courage in her rapidly accelerating heart and glances up for Lena’s reaction.

Once again her best friend surprises her. Lena doesn’t seem mad or hurt or resentful. She looks… perplexed, if not a little exasperated.

“What exactly are you apologizing for?” Lena asks slowly once their eyes lock.

Kara senses her own crinkle bunching between her eyebrows to match Lena’s. “For keeping this from you,” she answers dejectly.

Lena’s eyes widen and Kara rushes to justify herself. The explanation clambers out of her of its own accord, gathering momentum and volume like a snowball rolling downhill.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you so badly, Lena. For months! You’re one of the most important people in my life! I trust you. I–I can’t really explain it, but something about you has always made me feel safe. I just, I felt like I knew you from the moment we met. And that feeling hasn’t faded at all. In fact, it’s grown stronger. I think maybe it’s even become—”

Kara stops short of broaching that subject and launches up off the couch, beginning a proper maniacal pacing across her living room floor.

“You didn’t even need to but you went ahead and proved to me and Supergirl and everyone in the world that you are even more noble and good than I imagined. You are so incredible, Lena. Of everyone I love, you deserve to know this part of me. But—but this superhero thing is so complicated. There are all these rules with the DEO and it’s not always safe for the people that know my identity and—”

“Kara—”

“—and as much as I wanted to be completely open with you, I couldn’t risk you getting hurt. I can’t. I won’t. So then—”

“Kara, darling.” The endearment smashes sideways into Kara and brings her ramble to a skidding, screeching halt. “Stop talking.”

Dumbstruck, Kara does. She turns back to Lena and nearly suffocates at the fondness she finds shining back at her. It’s accompanied by a dash of amusement and that same exasperation from before, but the affection is there and it’s so warm that Kara’s cheeks heat up to match. How Lena can still look at her like that after what Kara’s kept from her is… it feels unfair.

“I’m really sorry Lena,” Kara insists quietly, this time staring directly into those striking windows of sea-glass green and willing her to see how acutely she means it.

“Don’t be.” Lena’s expression softens even further and Kara wonders if this is how it would feel to live life as a lava cake. Airy on the outside and melty on the inside. Warm and delicious all over. It’s nice. Maybe she can get Lena to eat her if—Kara blinks out of her daze. Okay so perhaps she is still a teensy, weensy bit tipsy.

Lena doesn’t seem to notice her brief departure because she adds very earnestly, “I understand why your identity needs safeguarding. I can’t imagine very many people know this about you.”

“No,” Kara agrees, eyes seeking the floor again.

“Frankly, I wouldn’t have expected you to reveal something so sensitive to someone like me.”

The self-deprecation in Lena’s tone is unacceptable. Kara is about to protest that she wanted to—would have if not for the magical influence of Alex’s good sense—when Lena shrugs.

“And we’ve only known one another for a year. There are bound to be some secrets.” The next part is whispered, as if Lena doesn’t mean for Kara to hear. “God knows I have some.”

“Wait—” Kara teeters closer, itching with that Lena-fueled curiosity that swims constantly through her veins.

Lena’s eyebrow twitches haughtily and she smiles, reaching out to pat Kara’s hand. “Matters for another time, darling.”

She wraps her fingers loosely around Kara’s and guides them both onto the couch. Kara, ostensibly still in her underwear, pulls a throw pillow into her lap.

Without warning, Lena resumes the video. The frozen widescreen snapshot of Kara’s behind shrinks away mercifully to the top corner of her TV, revealing a smirking newscaster barely keeping her laughter at bay. Her brown eyes dance as she describes Supergirl’s latest antics in excruciating detail to whichever unfortunate souls are watching at this time of the night.

“Why are we still watching this?” Kara mumbles, hugging the pillow to her chest. Lena remains placidly silent.

Just as Kara thinks her public shaming is complete, a new video overtakes the screen. This one is shot from a much better—or incriminating—angle. Namely, a news helicopter hovering at altitude, level with Supergirl as she floats in lazy spirals then flutters hundreds of feet down, playful and giggling, before shooting back up and starting again.

Kara really takes the cake when she stops mid-somersault and flashes the camera an unfocused wave and a dazzling smile. ‘Up, up and away,’ the half-naked superhero slurs. Then she proceeds to plunge straight out of the sky, giggling gleefully as she falls.

“Oh god,” Kara groans as the camera swings wildly to chase her back into the frame. It finally catches up to her as Kara’s trajectory is intercepted by a green-black blur. She and the blur disappear in a flash of red and the video gives way to the newscaster once more, speculating about the inexplicable nature of her behavior.

So that’s why J’onn had showed up to fly Supergirl home.

“I…” Is there kryptonite in the room or is she just burning up from sheer embarrassment? “I don’t remember doing that,” Kara whispers, quiet as a mouse.

Beside her, Lena snorts. Kara swivels to glare at her but the image of Lena stifling a laugh into the tips of her fingers is entirely too cute to hold a grudge against. She pouts instead.

Eventually the CEO regains her composure and asks, exceedingly gentle, “What do you remember?”

Kara’s features scrunch into a frown as she replays the last several hours in her head. It’s somewhat blurry, but there’s a chronological consistency to the snippets of clarity.

“It… it was my night off,” Kara begins. A picture of Alex’s rowdy laugh shimmers to life in her mind’s eye and she smiles. “Sister’s night.”

Lena nods, smiles just because Kara did and that—that’s really something. Her heart does a happy little flump. Then she remembers.

“That’s why I didn’t have my supersuit!” Kara snaps her fingers. “J’onn told us he had everything covered tonight. He said we should take the night to really unwind.”

Lena’s unimpressed little ah sets Kara into a guilty grimace. “I… don’t think this is what he meant he meant by unwind,” Kara admits.

“Probably not.” Lena agrees. It’s a gentle admonishment and a flat tease all in one and Kara is too busy thinking that Lena is miraculous to be at all bothered by the joke at her expense. “What did you two plan for sister’s night?”

“Well… Alex came over and we had a few drinks. I remember she brought some sort of alien punch or something. I don’t know what was in it but it was really yummy. I… got a little drunker than I meant to.”

Kara omits the part where she ignored Alex’s warning about the potency of said beverages because ‘I have a Kryptonian metabolism Alex. I’ll be fine.’

“Oh. So this…” Lena gestures vaguely in the direction of the television. It’s paused on another unflattering view from below and Kara wrinkles her nose. “Was alcohol-induced?”

“Yeah…” she admits, dragging out the word.

Lena raises an eyebrow. “And… voluntary?”

“Um. Yes.”

Lena regards her for a long moment, then releases a gargantuan breath. Her shoulders fall with it, settling almost one full inch below where they’d been twisted in tension since she arrived. “Well that’s a relief,” she exhales.

“It—it is?” Kara tilts her head.

“I thought you’d been poisoned.” Lena looks at her sharply and Kara swallows. “I was… concerned.”

The flash of vulnerability in her eyes is as close as Lena gets to chastising her, but Kara still feels it like a punch to the gut. It doesn’t take much work to put herself in Lena’s shoes, to imagine the sensation of the ground dropping out from underneath her when a slew of worst case scenarios take up residence in her brain. Combined with the realization that Supergirl’s erratic behavior is also her best friend’s, it might just warrant the frazzled and urgent messages in the middle of the night.

“I’m sorry,” Kara winces. “I promise I’m okay. Just a bit hungover, probably.” She pauses thoughtfully. “If it makes you feel any better, you weren’t entirely wrong.” Lena’s brow furrows and Kara grins dumbly, if only to inject a little levity into the moment. “Alcohol is pretty much poison. I just, you know, did the poisoning myself. I had a great time.”

There’s a stifled snort sound again and then Lena’s chuckling, loose at last and shaking her head fondly. Kara melts into the angelic sound, into the familiarity and affection twinkling within.

“So long as you’re okay,” Lena adds.

“I’m alright,” Kara reassures. She reaches for Lena’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I promise.”

Keeping their hands joined, Lena tips her head curiously. “There’s just one thing I don’t understand.”

“Yeah?”

“If you and Alex were home—here, then why did you leave without your suit on?”

“Oh, uh...” Kara thinks for a moment. “We went out at some point. Alex convinced me to go to Al’s—the alien bar—to meet up with Maggie—which,” Kara bristles and sniffs loudly, “was extremely generous of me, considering it was sister’s night.”

She glances at Lena for validation but her best friend just blinks placidly and waits. Kara pauses to wonder if she’s causing any sort of distress with all of the alien information she’s tossing her way. After a few seconds of Kara studying her, Lena finally raises her eyebrows in question.

“Sorry,” Kara shakes her head. “Anyway. We went to the bar and had a couple more drinks. And then—this is where things get kind of fuzzy.” Kara blushes. “Alex left with Maggie, I think.”

“Alex left you at the bar alone? While you were clearly not sober?” Lena’s face screws into a glare of disapproval. “That doesn’t sound like Agent Danvers.”

Kara barks a laugh at the formal form of address. “No, it definitely doesn’t,” she concedes. “I don’t think she actually left me though… I remember being in a cab. And then… um. Not in a cab.”

“Did the taxi drop you off at home?”

“No?” Kara wracks her brain. “I don’t think so. I remember wandering around a park somewhere and realizing I was lost. I know the city so well from above but down here I… get a little turned around sometimes.”

Kara’s cheeks flush at the admission but Lena’s fingers flex around her hand encouragingly and she relaxes.

“Anyway, when I realized I was lost I figured it would be best if I just flew myself home.”

The logic of the moment comes rushing back all at once and Kara feels the tips of her ears go from pink to red to redder. Lena, genius that she is, puts it together rather quickly.

“But you didn’t have your suit.”

“Yeah…” Kara affirms through a dry mouth.

“So you…” Lena begins, encouraging Kara to finish. She’s too embarrassed to even try. After several moments of nothing, Lena rips off the bandaid. “So you undressed to avoid being recognized?”

There’s an inferno blazing somewhere in this room, Kara swears it. She nods, not daring to meet Lena’s eyes.

A minuscule giggle reaches her ears and she breaks.

“I—I didn’t have a choice!” Kara whines. “It was late, I was lost, and my phone was dead and I, I… didn’t know what else to do!”

“Oh dear. Good thing you’re invulnerable.” Lena chuckles. “It's okay, darling.”

“It’s not!” Kara glares over at the TV. “I thought I was being clever. I even folded my shirt and my jeans and hid them in a bush, out of sight and everything! I figured no one would recognize me if I was quick about getting home so I took off but then…”

Lena looks at her expectantly, every bit the generous friend trying to keep her laughter trapped behind her pursed lips.

“Flying felt so good.” Kara admits, contrite. “I’m always wearing that gosh-darned suit with the long sleeves and the tights and just—the warm air felt so nice on my skin. Like the night sky was hugging me hello.”

She’s pouting up a storm now. “I really didn’t expect it. And, well, I guess I was just having a really nice time and my flight home accidentally turned into….” She gestures half-heartedly to the TV. “That.”

“Oh honey.” Lena extends one arm and Kara doesn’t hesitate to dive under it, hiding her face in the comfort of Lena’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright. It’s just a minor PR snafu. You didn’t do anything wrong.

“Alex is gonna be so mad,” Kara grouses, burrowing towards the enticingly familiar scent emanating from Lena’s skin, just a few inches away.

“Perhaps,” Lena allows, rubbing up and down Kara’s arm. It helps soothe the panic that comes with the knowledge of her elder sister’s impending fury. “But you didn’t hurt anyone. And the risk to your identity seems exceedingly low. Who else knows what I gave you for Secret Santa last year?”

Kara thinks back to the holiday, to the warm glow in her apartment and the people she loves gathered to share smiles and stories and gifts. “Just the people that were there that day,” she answers. “Alex, my mom, James, and Winn. And you.”

The memory of Lena glowing alongside her family makes Kara hum happily and nuzzle a little closer. Lena’s arm tightens around Kara’s shoulders.

“And is there any risk of them putting the pieces together from this video?”

“Well, that’s not really a problem,” Kara sighs. “My family has always known. James knew before I even met him because he’s friends with Superman. And Winn is the only other person I’ve ever told.”

She freezes, nervous that the reminder of being kept in the dark might cause Lena to put some distance between them. It’s the last thing Kara wants, to hurt her best friend. Besides, she’d quite like to stay right where she is, a scant inch away from the soft skin of Lena’s collarbone.

“There you have it,” Lena soothes, mercifully unfazed by the news of others that knew before her. “This hiccup should wash away with the next news cycle.” Lena pauses, tenses a bit. “Unless…”

Kara wriggles, prompting her to continue. “Unless what?”

“Have you…” the CEO clears her throat and from this distance Kara can hear her swallow uncomfortably. “Have you shown anyone else?”

“Shown anyone what?”

“This, uh, particular outfit of yours?”

“Pshh, no.” Kara scoffs and shakes her head. The movement brings the cold tip of her nose into contact with the heavenly warmth of Lena’s skin. Kara attributes the slight shiver that runs through her friend’s body to the shock of temperature difference. “Why would I show anyone my underwear?”

When Lena grimaces, the muscles in her neck tighten and Kara instinctively tucks her head closer to smooth the tension away.

“Well,” Lena begins, sounding a bit strangled. Her voice is lower, somewhat shy, and Kara is distracted by the way it vibrates against her forehead when Lena speaks. “If you… perhaps… brought someone home with you.”

“When I invite guests over I don’t include my underwear drawer in the tour of the apartment, Lena. That’s silly.”

“No—that’s not what I—hmph.” Exasperated, Lena finally makes herself clear. “I’m asking if you’ve slept with anyone, Kara.”

The superhero jolts upright, squeaking in surprise. “What?”

Lena clenches her jaw and releases it, taking a fortifying breath. “Have you been intimate with anyone recently that might’ve seen this set of underwear?” Kara gapes like a fish out of water and Lena rolls her eyes as she spells it out, seeming oddly pained. “Could they possibly make the connection between Supergirl’s appearance tonight and your identity as Kara Danvers?”

“Oh,” Kara breathes, struggling to sit still under Lena’s scrutiny. She peels at the fraying edges of her throw pillow. “Um. No.”

“Okay.” It may be Kara’s imagination, but it almost looks like Lena heaves a sigh of relief. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I…” the corner of her mouth twitches. “There hasn’t been anyone. Not since Mon-El.”

Kara considers the nights she’s spent with people she loves instead, the extra time that not having a love interest has afforded her with Lena and feels quite at peace with this reality. She smiles. “So I guess we’re safe on that front.”

Lena smiles back, closed-mouthed but still dimpled, and Kara feels like a lava cake again.

“See? You have nothing to worry about,” the CEO assures.

“Except—can anyone trace the purchase back to you?” Kara asks suddenly. “You said it was a custom order, won’t… won’t people think that you’re Supergirl?!”

Lena bursts into laughter at the suggestion. She howls for seconds while Kara dissolves into a panic at the idea of people going after Lena, mistaking her for the drunk Kryptonian.

“Lena, this is serious,” Kara admonishes. Lena just keeps on laughing. “You could be seriously targeted! I need—I need to protect you. Someone could try to hurt you if they thought…” her wild ideas get the best of her, spiraling out of control at the mere suggestion of increased attempts on Lena’s life.

Kara spaces out, flicking rapidly from scenario to scenario about how best to protect her best friend from this type of exposure. Maybe Lena should move in with her, so Kara can keep her safe all the time. If they share a bed, Kara will know she’s protected even while unconscious. Lena maintains an office at Catco, so the workday is covered. What about bathroom breaks, would those be—

A warm palm smooths over Kara’s forearm and squeezes until her tailspin slows to a halt. “Kara, darling. Come back.”

Kara blinks forcefully once, twice, three times, and then she’s planted firmly in her living room, staring once more at the overwhelming wealth of fondness in light green eyes. Those eyes crinkle around a smile as soon as Kara fully returns to her surroundings.

“You needn’t worry about me,” Lena assures slowly. Kara wrinkles her brow and Lena explains. “I went to a store in person to place the order and made my purchases with cash. The payment isn’t traceable to my name and no one recognized me, I’m certain of it.”

Face pinched into a frown, Kara shakes her head. “Are you sure? I won’t take that risk with you, Lena.”

“I’m sure,” the CEO smiles again and it’s nearly dazzling enough to distract Kara from her panic-fueled worry storm. “I appreciate the concern, but I doubt anyone would believe that a Luthor even knows what a baseball cap is, let alone wears one.” Lena tilts her head thoughtfully. “For that matter, I doubt anyone would believe that a Luthor could secretly be Kryptonian, all things considered.”

Kara scowls at the indirect mention of Lex, but considers Lena’s logic. She’s right in the end—short of a credit card receipt with Lena’s name on it or video footage showing her obtaining the exact same garments Supergirl is wearing, it’d be nigh impossible to make the connection.

“Okay,” she finally relents. “Okay. So now all I have to worry about is Alex’s wrath.”

The thought brings another grimace to her face and she buries it into her throw pillow. Alex is going to be so mad.

“I think Alex will be fine once we talk it through with her,” Lena offers. The ‘we’ wraps around Kara like a blanket before Lena’s arms encircle her with a comfort that Kara’s powerless to resist. She drops the pillow in favor of scooting back into her previous position, nestled into the juncture of Lena’s neck and shoulder.

They sit in silence for a few minutes as Kara recovers from her shame. The lateness of the hour and the steady drum of Lena’s heart lull Kara into a dreamy, half-conscious state and before she’s fully aware of herself she asks, “Lena?”

“Hm?”

The low hum of Lena’s voice in the apartment shrouds Kara in calm and she instinctively adjusts so she can press her nose and mouth the source of that heavenly vibration. Lena gulps and Kara is too sleepy to think anything of it.

“You aren’t mad?”

“Mad?” Lena repeats. “Why?”

“You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you my secret?”

“No, darling, I’m not mad,” Lena mutters softly and places a gentle hand on the side of Kara’s head. “It’s your secret to tell. What matters to me is that you’re safe. That’s all.”

The Kryptonian smiles and snuggles close. “Well, I’m really glad that you know now. And that you still like me. There’s so much I wanna tell you.” She pouts. “No more secrets for us.”

“Of course I still like you.” Then, most miraculous of all, Lena drops a soft kiss to Kara’s forehead. “You’re lovely, Kara. Being Supergirl doesn’t change that.”

Kara hums contentedly and drowsily returns the kiss wherever she can reach. Which happens to be the exposed jut of Lena’s collarbone. She notices a shift immediately—Lena’s muscles sing with tautness and her heart rate skyrockets.

“Lena?”

“Mm?” Her response is slightly high-pitched this time, even if the rumble of it still rolls through Kara like thunder.

“Why is your heartbeat so fast?”

“What—how can you even—oh. Superhearing. Of course.”

“Mhm,” Kara smiles, wondering languidly if Lena can feel her grin even if she can’t see it, ‘cause of the way Kara’s mouth is smooshed against her neck. Lena smells really, really good.

“You smell really, really good.” Again, Lena’s heartbeat ratchets up a notch. Kara frowns.

“Lena, you need to calm down.” Kara speaks right up against the source of the hammering in her ears, feeling the corresponding pulse pound on her lips. “‘S very loud. That can’t be good for you.”

“I’m fine, Kara,” Lena squeaks. Kara has her doubts but forgets them immediately when Lena says, “Besides, I’m with Supergirl. I’m as safe as can be.”

“That’s right.” Kara grins then places another sleepy kiss directly over that drumbeat, aiming to soothe it. “Shhh, i zhao,” Kara murmurs at Lena’s pulse point. “Settle down. You’re safe. It’s sleep time now.”

The next thing she hears after a hitch in Lena’s breath is the rich sound of Lena’s chuckle. “Did you just speak Kryptonian to my heartbeat, Kara?”

“Mm, yeah.” She’s beyond sleepy, half her cognizance has already yielded to unconsciousness. “I can never sleep when it’s loud like that.”

“What do you mean never?”

“I always check on you, Lena,” Kara nuzzles. “If your heartbeat’s too loud, I get worried.”

“You… you listen for me?”

Kara frowns again. Somehow this is only making things louder. Won’t stop her from telling the truth though.

“‘Course I listen. You’re my person,” she declares with a huff and drapes an arm over Lena’s midriff. “I dunno what’s bothering you right now though. You said it yourself, you’re safe with me.”

Lena sucks in a breath and holds it. Kara knows because she can feel the rise of Lena’s chest under her cheek and the way Lena’s throat works beneath her mouth. Kara noses against her neck, willing Lena to keep breathing and relax. Eventually she does.

Lena’s sigh comes out slow and measured and finally, her heartbeat begins to slow. She leans her head overtop of Kara’s. “I suppose that’s true.”

“Mhm,” Kara agrees. “Quiet now though, ‘s time for bed.” Lena nods above her and Kara doesn’t even deign to consider that they’re both still half upright on the couch. She does, however, remember a passing comment from earlier in the night.

“Lena?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you tell me your secret, too?”

In the ensuing pause, Kara hears the slowing beat do a stutter step in Lena’s chest. She nuzzles into it and Lena sighs once more.

Then Kara feels the warmth of lips pressed to her temple and suddenly her own heart is mirroring the pattern of Lena’s, clamoring for more of that soft sweetness against her skin.

“I think you might already know,” Lena whispers into her hair.

With the scent of Lena in her lungs and the softness of her friend in her arms and around her, Kara thinks she does, too.

(Morning finds them in the same position hours later, curled against one another on the couch. Necks stiff and backs crooked, they startle awake to a pounding on the door and an unmistakably familiar grumbling on the other side.

“Kara, you’d better be in there! What the fuck happened last night?!”)

--

[torchtour]

Hi hello I love your Euclidian designs could you explain their anatomy

tysm!! here's some bullshit biology. if i spelled anything wrong. um. i didnt

transcription (since my colors/handwriting are whack) and elaboration below cut hehe

"cellulose microfibril bricks, colored by carotenoid pigment (xanthophyll)" they help maintain the shape of the cell/provide structural integrity to an overall squishy organism. the pigment xanthophyll is yellow (because. bill. yellow) and facilitates photosynthesis yay solar power. the nature of bill's mutation includes a full wall of this shit covering his whole body like a carapace

""brain"/ganglia" very rudimentary nervous system that's just a bundle of nerves hooked up to the eyes. important to note that the nerves are robust and mobile like electrical wires so don't mind being jostled by eye movement

"cilia assist in movement and sensing" leeetle hairs that aren't hairs at all but microtubules coated by the plasma membrane. kinda like whiskers/barbels but used for swimming

"double membrane (two phospholipid bilayers), pseudopods made of actin filaments and filled with cytoplasm" and also "pseudopods are mobile and variable (stretchy) the gripperssssssss if you wanna see some epic pseudopod action just look up amoeba hunting on youtube

"eyelids and "lashes"/teeth" the retractable sheathes that cover the eye have scutes that can flex and poke out as a sorta velcro-y set of teeth and manipulate objects

"mitochondrial pump" i'm sorry to say i didn't actually have an idea of what this organ was when i drew the first drawing don't tell anyone but i make shit up as i go along ummm but now it's the pseudo-heart organelle that generates atp (mitochondria) and circulates shit 'round the body (pump)

"2D eyes can perceive color, brightness, and a single layer/line of depth" so these basically work how the eyes work in flatland where euclideans can only see an infinitely thin plane of color and shadow

"reproductive organs and gametes" my euclideans have external fertilization where a pair (any pair works cuz they all have the same haploid gams) just mush together their gametes to make a baby love wins i didn't really think this through shhh i just cant imagine these things fucking im sorry they're too weird maybe the foreplay goes crazy idk

that's basically it uhm i labeled each shape as "cuboidal", "triangular", and "circular" and then that "circles are (superficially) bilaterally symmetrical" cuz they only got the one eye oh and the circular one is labeled as "juvenile has no compartment for reproductive organs" cuz why not ok bye

[pokeberry5]

do you have any tips for drawing dynamic poses? i always love the way you draw bodies!!

i know this has been said a million times but the way i draw bodies significantly improved after i started drawing more frequently from reference. if i cant find a reference for a pose on the internet, i'll just use myself or a friend. i spend an unfortunate amount of time just standing in front of my mirror looking at my own joints. pay attention to where your body curves!!

other than that though—honestly my anatomy/pose knowledge is a whack amalgamation of art tips i've accumulated over the years (i miss old school deviantart/tumblr style art tutorials). i also like to look at how artists i admire draw bodies—what details to they include, what anatomical short-hands etc

i think i'm still figuring out how to draw dynamic poses, but here are some cheats i've picked up (under the cut coz this got long again):

gonna use this stray!tim as a base

the easiest way for make up a pose is to start roughly with the head, collarbones, ribcage, and pelvis — you can build everything from there

here's a couple more of what i mean by the ribcage-pelvis deconstruction:

2. push your perspective a little!! imo things look more dynamic if you move your sight-line up or down—the horizontal orange line here. if you look at the panels above, the sight lines tend to be a little low, at around the character's torso or waist. i did the same below with stray!tim

to do this i usually try to get a sense of the space im working in by putting in some sloppy perspective grids

3. S curves!!! exaggerate the lines of the body. the body naturally has parallel horizontal lines—an easy way to get a body to look less rigid is to tilt those horizontal lines which in turn curves the vertical line of the body

this is what a mean by horizontal lines—usually i use the eyes, shoulders, and hips:

i'm gonna use caterina as a better example—usually you want the horizontal lines to sort of zigzag:

i've also picked up a couple visual tricks that don't exactly add dynamism to a pose? but they do give a static pose a little more oomph. a lot of this is done by visually highlighting one specific point of the body

for our purposes, i'm gonna make the focal point tim's face

motion blur! there are a couple ways to do this. i actually dont like working with traditional motion blur because you have to mess around with selections, so i usually fake motion blur using postional perspective blur:

2. gradient lighting—you can add a lot of depth this way. usually i like setting the gradient in the direction of the focal point, e.g. tim's face

below, i added a layer above the base drawing, used an airbrush to get this gradient, and then set the layer to color burn and lowered the opacity. you can also clip the lighting layer to the base drawing and set it to multiply

below, i did the opposite—instead of adding a gradient shadow, i added gradient light. i set the layer to add this time (instead of color burn) and then lowered the opacity again.

this kinda serves to desaturate the parts of the piece that are less important (ish i was kinda sloppy here), driving the eye to face—the most saturated. the motion blur does a similar thing, where the only thing "in focus" is tim's face

the gradient also sort of adds a directionality to the piece—it starts at the bottom right corner and goes up towards the upper left, causing your eye to follow that same path, which drags your gaze up tim's body

here's what it looks like when i combine 1 and 2:

3. chromatic aberration's been pretty popular recently. it does a similar thing as perspective blur but with more eyestrain (although i went with a really exaggerated version below just to show you what it does) but it looks cool!

bonus cryptid tim as a reward for getting to the end :-)

[sierrawitch]

Menstrual Magick: The Goddess Within

by autumn sierra

*This is an original article written for educational purposes. Please do not plagiarize this work. You may reference it as you like with proper accreditation to the author. The author reserves the right to remove this article if deemed appropriate.*

᚛ᚇᚏᚐᚔᚑᚉᚆᚈ ᚋᚓᚅᚄᚈᚏᚒᚐᚂ᚜

Table of Contents

Introduction

Anatomy & Physiology

Two Cycles

The Sacred Nature of the Infradian Rhythm

Healing Your Cycle: Negative Influences [EDCs, Reproductive Conditions]

Healing Your Cycle: Positive Change [Diet, Herbs & Seeds, Movement, Personal Care]

Menstrual Blood in Spells & Ritual

Resources

Citations

᚛ᚇᚏᚐᚔᚑᚉᚆᚈ ᚋᚓᚅᚄᚈᚏᚒᚐᚂ᚜

Introduction

   It’s become common in western culture—and perhaps in most cultures around the world—for women to hide their bleeding or feel shame surrounding their menstrual period. It’s so normalized, in fact, that most women will consult an OB/GYN for pain management or symptomatic aid and be given some form of contraception as a band-aid catchall. Regardless of what the underlying ailment may be, medical professionals aim to cover up the issue rather than digging deeper to heal the root cause.

   Because of this shame culture, women have been unable to embrace their cycles for generations upon generations; unable to harness the power of their natural rhythm in tune with earth and its own cycle. Not only have they lost that spiritual connection, but women of all ages are taught that menstruation inherently dooms women to a life of suffering, rather than being properly educated on the strengths of each phase of the cycle, as well as how to properly accommodate themselves at each phase.

    This article aims to re-empower women with educational information on the physiology of their cycles, how it relates to witchcraft, and how women can reconnect with the sacredness of their cycles without shame. It’s time for women to take their unique power back and truly reconnect with their rawest self.

Anatomy & Physiology

   To begin, let’s quickly review the anatomical make up of the female reproductive system as a refresher (surely high school health class was at least minutely thorough in this area). The organs and tissues directly involved in menstruation are located in the lower-abdominal and pelvic area of the body. These organs include:

ovaries

fallopian tubes

endometrium & uterus

cervix

vagina

Interestingly, what many women don’t realize is that there are various hormones involved in the physiology of the reproductive system as well. It’s easy to say “my hormones are so out of whack today!” without actually realizing if those hormones are truly out of sorts, or if they’re being actively combated by daily routine.

*Phases and how to accommodate them will be discussed later.

   It’s assumedly common knowledge that the main function of the menstrual period is to shed the uterine lining (endometrium) when a woman does not become pregnant within a given cycle. The main hormones in charge of this action are Estrogen (estradiol) and Progesterone.

*Additional hormones—Testosterone, LH and FSH—will be discussed later.

Take note of the intersecting lines near the end of this graph. This is a visual representation of hormone levels during menstruation. Progesterone—whose action is to prepare the endometrium for implantation of a fertilized egg—falls when a woman does not become pregnant. Similarly, Estrogen (estradiol)—whose action is to thicken the endometrium for implantation of a fertilized egg—also falls, signaling the shedding of the uterine lining [1]. It’s at this time that bleeding begins and typically lasts for 4-7 days until the cycle restarts again.

Two Cycles

   Up to this point, the words “cycle(s)” and “phase(s)” have been used quite a bit. But there hasn’t been any real depth of explanation as to what is meant by “phases” of a cycle, and what is meant by the title of this section. “Two cycles??” Yes. Contrary to their male counterparts who have only one static cycle, women have two biological cycles that are constantly shifting and changing. These cycles are known as:

Circadian Rhythm & Infradian Rhythm

   Circadian rhythm is one cycle with which most people are familiar. This rhythm is the one disrupted twice yearly for daylight savings time changes (if you are one of the 70 countries that participate). More plainly, it’s the shared daily cycle of waking and sleeping, and the hormonal changes during that 24 hour period. Everyone experiences the circadian rhythm and its regulation of:

core body temperature

immune system responses

general hormonal fluctuations

metabolic processes

cognitive function

mental and physical responses to stress [2]

   However, women additionally experience the infradian rhythm. This rhythm is a 26-34 day cycle which begins on the first day of menstruation during puberty, and repeats until just before menopause begins. The infradian rhythm also influences 6 different systems of the body:

brain

metabolism

immune system

microbiome

stress response

reproductive system [3]

   To make things even more specific, this infradian rhythm is split into 4 phases, each with their own strengths that women can take control of to influence their personal success in the home, in social groups, at work, etc.

The Sacred Nature of the Infradian Rhythm

   This section will go a bit more in depth into the 4 phases of the infradian rhythm, and how each phase reconnects women to the patterns of nature and the divine feminine.

Menstrual Phase (4-7 days long)

   Menstruation is the bleeding period associated with the new/dark moon, winter, dormancy, and reflection. During this phase, the right and left areas of the brain—responsible for creativity and analysis respectfully—are most closely aligned, allowing for well-informed decision making and clarity of intuition.

    This phase is also associated with the Witch archetype, usually an elderly woman living in a secluded area of nature. But don’t be fooled by the frailness of her age; she is quite powerful and influential, knowledgeable, wise, transformative, and deeply in tune with her creativity and intuition [4].

    As it was discussed earlier, Progesterone and Estrogen (estradiol) are at their lowest points during this phase, as well as all of the other reproductive hormones. Just like its alignments, it’s important to indulge in physical and mental rest during menstruation.

   Menstruation has been a time of seclusion for women around the world for centuries; and not just for oppressive reasons. In ancient times, cultures that revered women for their divine femininity respected and even celebrated menstruation. “Yurok, a native tribe from the northwest coast of the United States stratified by class, had a group of aristocratic women who saw their periods as a time for purifying themselves…and did a series of rituals during the cycle that they said was a period of their most heightened spiritual experience”[5].

   In some parts of Ghana, West Africa, young women sit under ceremonial umbrellas when they begin menstruating, the families giving them gifts and paying homage [5]. Ojibwe women in the indigenous Midwest of the United States seclude themselves in “moon lodges”, fasting from sexual intercourse, ritual practice, food preparation, and child rearing in order to cleanse their energies, meditate, and connect with the other women in their communities [6].

   The Philippines challenges the myth of menstrual blood being unclean by applying it to the face to prevent breakouts and inflammation of the skin. The blood of the endometrium is rich in nutrients and stem cells which may improve the health of skin [6]. Fresh blood is safe to use topically (and arguably internally), but large amounts collected should not be used once it has sat at room temperature for a long duration of time, as it can become foul like any other blood outside of the body.

Follicular Phase (5-6 days long)

   The follicular phase is associated with the waxing moon, spring, planning, curiosity, and problem-solving. During this phase, the brain is more wired for creativity and alertness as it enters a kind of “rebirth”.

    This phase is also associated with the Warrior Maiden archetype, a young woman in tune with personal strength. She is transformative, courageous, honorable, commands respect, and allows herself to fall into a more feminine/passive role with her partner without losing said strength [7].

    Estrogen (estradiol) and Serotonin—a neurotransmitter hormone that induces focus, emotional stability, happiness, and calmness—rise to bring about more social and verbal tendencies. Cortisol—the stress hormone—is low and energies are calm. Additionally, the aforementioned FSH hormone—follicle stimulating hormone responsible for the rise in Estrogen (estradiol)—sends signals for the follicles in the ovaries to begin developing the beginning of a new cycle.

Ovulatory Phase (5-6 days long)

   Ovulation is associated with the full moon, summer, confidence, socialization, and passion. During this phase, the brain is somewhat balanced again, with sharp intellect, creativity, and communication skills, making it the perfect time to engage with others and kickstart projects, as well as the integration of new ideas.

    This phase is also associated with the Mother archetype, a mature woman radiating harmony, spirituality, deep love, self sacrifice, and inherent strength. She is the giver and nurturer of life and presides over both the realm of the living and the dead, as the womb is a bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds [8].

    Estrogen (estradiol) skyrockets, providing high energy and high spirits. The rise in LH—luteinizing hormone responsible for signaling the release of an egg—notifies Progesterone and Estrogen (estradiol) to begin preparing and thickening the endometrium for implantation after the egg has been fertilized. At this point, Testosterone has also increased for enhanced sexual arousal, but drops suddenly to let Progesterone and Estrogen (estradiol) take over in preparation for a potential pregnancy.

Luteal Phase (10-15 days long)

   The luteal phase is associated with the waning moon, autumn, easy networking and socialization, and slowing down. During this phase, focus begins to turn inward with projects reaching the finishing stages. This is the perfect time to tie up loose ends and have everything taken care of before “winter” sets in again.

   This phase is also associated with the Enchantress archetype, who is a voyager to inner worlds, a prophet, and a dreamer. She urges the embracing of life’s surreal moments, and owns her personal sexual power. She is the embodiment of the feminine mystique with full trust in her intuition, and freely indulges in her seductive and pleasurable nature [9].

*Please indulge responsibly with a trusted partner!

    The ratio of Estrogen (estradiol) and Progesterone at this stage encourages very observant behavior, allowing the ability to pick up on subtleties in communication and behavior that may have been missed otherwise. Testosterone also rises slightly, once again enhancing sexual arousal in the former half of this phase. It eventually lowers again during the latter half in preparation for menstruation. With the endometrium lush for implantation, it awaits a fertilized egg to begin pregnancy. If successful, the menstrual cycle is halted here for the duration of the pregnancy. Otherwise, the cycle continues on to begin again.

Healing Your Cycle: Negative Influences

   It’s no secret that the (arguable) majority of women in our modern world are undereducated about their bodies, hormones, and cycles, leading to the notion that womanhood is a curse only to inflict pain while men have no issues with their bodies (also a false assumption). The reason for this conclusion is simple: pain equals punishment. Punishment for what? Existing, right? Wrong. The pain is not punishment, but a byproduct of blissful ignorance.

    Unbeknownst to many men and women alike, every single factor of their environment impacts the body and mind to a shocking degree that may not noticeably present itself. This leads people to believe that there are no underlying issues at play, when in fact the opposite is true. So, let’s take a look at what underlying issues or environmental factors can negatively impact the menstrual cycle.

Underlying Issues

   Many underlying issues impacting the menstrual cycle can be traced back to inherited genetics or developed hormonal imbalances. Reproductive disorders are major influences in the upset of the infradian rhythm. However, generally irregular cycles can be due to hormonal abnormalities in the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, or ovaries [14]. Listed are some examples and their characteristics.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

   PCOS is a reproductive and hormonal disorder affecting about 8-13% of reproductive aged women, and is associated with various long-term comorbid (linked) disorders such as type 2 diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), high cholesterol, heart disease, and endometrial cancer [10]. This disorder is characterized by excess levels of Androgen—hormone responsible for kickstarting puberty, increasing libido and blood flow to reproductive organs, and increasing sexual gratification—causing enlarged ovaries with cysts presenting internally, externally, or both.

   Some symptoms of PCOS include “heavy, long, intermittent, unpredictable or absent periods; infertility [myth]; acne or oily skin; excessive hair on the face or body; male-pattern baldness or hair thinning; weight gain, especially around the belly area”[10].

*There are no known cures for PCOS, but there are methods of coping (discussed later)

Endometriosis

   Endometriosis is a reproductive disorder affecting around 10% of reproductive aged women, and is associated with severe, life-impacting pain during periods, sexual intercourse, bowel movements and/or urination, chronic pelvic pain, abdominal bloating, nausea, fatigue, and sometimes depression, anxiety, and infertility [11]. This disorder is characterized by tissue similar to the endometrium growing outside of the uterus. This leads to inflammation and scar tissue forming in the pelvic area and sometimes other areas of the body.

   Some symptoms of Endometriosis include pelvic pain during menstruation, during or after sex, when using the restroom, chronic pelvic or other bodily pain, heavy bleeding during periods or between periods, trouble getting pregnant, bloating or nausea, fatigue, depression or anxiety. However, it’s also acknowledged that some women may not have symptoms at all [11].

*There are no known cures for endometriosis, but there are methods of coping (discussed later)

Primary/Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI)

  POI is a reproductive and hormonal disorder causing premature ovarian failure and early menopause, beginning as early as the teen years [12].

   Some symptoms of POI include hot flashes, night sweats, irritability, poor concentration, decreased sex drive, pain during sex, and chronic vaginal dryness [12].

*There are no known cures for POI, but there are methods of coping (discussed later)

Uterine Fibroids

   Fibroids are benign growths in the uterus—very rarely malignant (cancerous),—and most often appear in reproductive aged women. They can vary in number and size depending on the individual, and in extreme cases, can cause the appearance of a pregnant belly.

    There are also multiple types of fibroids to look for during ultrasound screenings: Intramural fibroids grow within the muscular wall of the uterus. Submucosal fibroids bulge into the uterine cavity. Subserosal fibroids form on the outside of the uterus [15].

   Although some cases don’t provide symptoms, some common symptoms include heavy menstrual bleeding or painful periods, longer or more frequent periods, pelvic pressure or pain, frequent urination or trouble urinating, growing stomach area, constipation, pain in the stomach area or lower back, or pain during sex [15].

Do not begin treatment without receiving a professional opinion from a primary physician or OB/GYN. If self diagnosing, confirm diagnosis with your doctor before attempting over-the-counter or diagnostic treatment.

Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDC)

   Along with hormonal imbalances and disorders occurring within the body due to hereditary genetics, hormones can also be affected by external environmental factors—aka endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDC)—in daily life. “Each person has unique exposure to a variety of both known and unknown EDCs. Individual differences in metabolism and body composition will create considerable variability in the half-life and persistence of EDCs, as well as their degradation in body fluids and tissues…[and] human disorders are more likely the result of chronic exposure to low amounts of mixtures of EDCs“ [16]. Listed are some examples and their effects.

Plasticizers (BPA, Phthalates)

   Phthalates and bisphenol A (BPA) are found in plastic products and have significant negative impact on female fertility.

    Phthalates were commercialized in the 1920s and are still used in many plastic food containers, blood bags and medical tubing, as well as personal care products. “Prospective clinical studies indicate that higher phthalate concentrations in urine were associated with longer time to pregnancy (TTP)” [14]. Recent studies reported that higher levels of phthalates in urine were associated with lower probabilities of implantation and clinical pregnancy, and higher probabilities of still birth. Not only do phthalates decrease fertility for women exposed to the chemical in their lifetime, but also decrease the fertility of future generations of women in that line [14].

   BPA is found in products such as plastic bags, bottles, and packaging, including food and drink cans. BPA concentrations were found to be significantly higher in infertile patients compared with fertile subjects. Additionally, BPA was associated with lower rates of fertility and fecundability (probability of conception), as well as with increased embryo implantation failure and decreased estrogen, fertilized oocytes, and oocyte counts in patients undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF), providing evidence to debilitated ovulation and endocrinological health [14]. Studies in lab animals also indicate an impairment of female reproductive capacity with BPA alternatives: bisphenol S and bisphenol E.

   (On an additional note, researchers of phthalate affects on neurological constitution reported in JAMA that ordinary exposure to certain phthalates found in urine samples was associated with ADHD-related behaviors in adolescence [13].)

Pharmaceuticals (Synthetic progestin norethindrone (NET), Diethylstilbestrol (DES))

   Despite medical professionals endorsing the safety of pharmaceuticals, there is substantial evidence of their effect on the female reproductive system, as well as the general endocrine system of the human anatomy.

    Although naturally occurring progesterone is one of the crucial hormones in women’s natural cycles, synthetic progestin (NET)—found in oral contraceptives—is a steroidal pharmaceutical recorded as a thyroid endocrine disruptor [17]. As an interesting aside in environmental sustainability (or lack thereof), since there has been such consistent consumption of progestin by humans and its use in livestock farms to promote the growth and fattening of animals, there has been a rising level of the chemical within various aquatic environments. In one US stream, “the concentration of synthetic progestin norethindrone (NET) was reported up to 872 ng/L” and continues to increase [17].

   In a study conducted on adult zebrafish in such contaminated environments, it was found that NET alters sexual differentiation, development and reproduction, and shifted sex ratio towards males through higher androgenic activities [17]. This potentially leads to the implication of a similar effect on adult humans, providing some insight toward the steady rise in gender dysphoria amongst both biological male and female youth and adults, with prevalence in females due to sensitivity of androgen levels in female development.

    In comparison, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) is a non-steroidal pharmaceutical estrogenic EDC that was prescribed to millions of pregnant women between 1940 and 1970 in order to prevent miscarriage, premature labor, and related complications of pregnancy [18]. However, women who were exposed to DES in utero experienced higher rates of infertility, pregnancy complications, and reproductive cancers including breast and pancreatic cancer, and cervical precancer [18,19]. “The onset of puberty was also significantly affected, with the timing of vaginal opening occurring significantly earlier in DES descendants. These results indicate a transgenerational effect of DES on multiple reproductive parameters including fertility, timing of puberty, and AGD. These data have significant implications for more than 50 million DES descendants worldwide as well as raising concerns for the ongoing health impacts caused by exposures to other estrogenic EDCs which are pervasive in our environment” [18].

   The drug also may be linked to an increased chance of developing ADHD in the grandchildren of women who used it during pregnancy. DES was found to cause epigenetic changes, altering the way genes are turned on and off, in a study analyzing the reproductive organs of mice. “The findings provide a possible explanation for how endocrine disruptors affect fertility and reproduction” [13].

Cosmetics & Personal Care (Parabens, Glycol Ethers, Parfum, etc)

   Cosmetics and personal care items including shampoos, soaps, and other products contain harmful EDCs which are exposed to women (and men) on a regular basis, increasing the health risks associated with EDCs.

    Parabens are one of the most popular preservatives used in these products (as well as foods and pharmaceuticals) and have been promoted worldwide since 1920. Easily absorbed into the body via topical handling or application, parabens acutely (short-term) and chronically (long-term) hinder the human endocrine system and induce complications in homeostasis. They have also been recognized as a causative factor in various diseases [20].

   Glycol Ethers are a chemical compound used in certain solvents (resins, lacquers, paints, varnishes, gum, perfume, dyes, inks, as a constituent of paints and pastes, cleaning compounds, liquid soaps, and hydraulic fluids) and as an ingredient in cosmetics.

    Acute exposure to high levels of the glycol ethers in humans results in narcosis, pulmonary edema, and severe liver and kidney damage. Acute exposure to lower levels of the glycol ethers in humans causes conjunctivitis, upper respiratory tract irritation, headache, nausea, and temporary corneal clouding. Animal studies have reported adverse effects on weight gain, peripheral blood counts, bone marrow, and lymphoid tissues. Chronic exposure to the glycol ethers in humans results in fatigue, lethargy, nausea, anorexia, tremor, and anemia. Animal studies have reported anemia, reduced body weight gain, and irritation of the eyes and nose from inhalation exposure. Anemia and effects to the thymus, spleen, bone marrow, liver, and kidneys were reported in animals following oral exposure to the glycol ethers [21].

    (Interestingly, the EPA.gov source claims there is apparently no carcinogenic or reproductive issues caused by glycol ethers based on a lack of evidence, insinuating that these compounds have not even been tested for such effects to affirm or refute this claim.)

    Parfum and fragrance also have a hand in this EDC issue. These synthetic compounds have become ubiquitous components of personal care and household cleaning products over the decades, resulting in excess usage of these chemicals on a regular basis. Fragrances are linked with rapidly increasing rates of diabetes, cancer, neural ailments, teratogenicity, and (shockingly enough) transgender instances, insinuating that some—not all—transgender instances appear as developed through EDC influence rather than appearing as an inherent biological characteristic at birth [22]. The adverse effects of the fragrance constituents as phthalates, parabens, glutaraldehyde, hydroperoxides, oil of turpentine, metals, nitro musks, and essential oils, among others, are being identified and subsequently linked to the breakdown in homeostasis. They have been labeled 'slow poisons' following the analysis of estrogen hyperproduction and inflammation, among other issues (“fragrance compounds share configurational similarity with carcinogenic environmental hydrocarbons and provoke the expression of cytochrome group monooxygenase enzyme aromatase [which] aromatizes androgens to form estrogen…[causing] the majority of morbidities.) [22].

Metalloestrogens aka Heavy Metals (Aluminum Chlorohydrate (ACH), Lead, Mercury, Cadmium)

   It is most likely accurate to assume that the negative impact of heavy metals on the body is common knowledge in our medically advanced society. Despite this, metalloestrogens are still incorporated into daily use products.

    Aluminum might be one of the most widely known for its toxicity in multiple forms. As aluminum chlorohydrate (ACH) or aluminum salts, it is included in antiperspirant deodorants, foods and supplements, antacids, vaccines, and various house hold products [23]. ACH is commonly absorbed through the sensitive skin of the underarms in close proximity to the breast, increasing the risk of breast cancer development and increase in current cancer cells among other conditions including deficient estrogen regulation and response, affected gene expression, dialysis dementia, iron-adequate microcytic anemia, osteomalacia, and neurodegerative diseases [23].

    Lead is also known as a harmful heavy metal, with its use in plumbing less prevalent in our modern society. The harms of lead have been extensively documented and acted upon, yet again there is still lead being consumed even in minute doses. This chemical has been labeled an EDC through its absorption into the thyroid gland and the effects of its homeostasis, effects on insulin resistance, hyperglycaemia and glucose intolerance, pituitary action, accumulation in reproductive organs, and causation of metabolic disease. For women attempting to have children, semen quality and sperm modality, abnormal testosterone levels and infertility are also effects of lead on male hormones [24].

   Mercury poisoning is a regular topic and valid concern. The most common discussion is the concern of methylmercury—anthropogenic mercury made when inorganic mercury circulating in the general environment is dissolved into freshwater and seawater—poisoning via high consumption of certain shellfish and fish, such as albacore tuna. Ethylmercury—inorganic mercury compound made by binding organic chemicals—is an active base in thimerosal which is used as an anti septic and anti fungal/anti bacterial agent in vaccines. Both types of mercury have the capacity to cause adverse effects on the hypothalamus, pituitary, thyroid, adrenal gland, and gonads (testis and ovary) [25]. In the past, thimerosal was used in all vaccine compounds until it was proven as a carcinogen capable of breaking through the blood brain barrier, at which point it was repealed from all but multi dose vaccinations such as the multi dose Influenza vaccines.

    Cadmium is a common environmental pollutant and has major presence in tobacco smoke. It has been known to either enhance or inhibit the biosynthesis of progesterone (affecting normal ovarian cyclicity and the maintenance of pregnancy), decreased birth weights and premature birth, with the enhanced levels of placental cadmium “resulting from maternal exposure to industrial wastes or tobacco smoke being associated with decreased progesterone biosynthesis by the placental trophoblast”—an outer layer of cells providing nutrients to the embryo [26].

Synthetic Materials (Polyester, Acrylic, etc)

   Synthetic woven materials used in the manufacturing of clothing, blankets, and other fabrics (although interacting topically and externally) affects the endocrine system. These facts make reconsidering fast fashion a wise hesitation.

    Polyester is a significant example of EDCs in fabrics. It’s made with recycled phthalates and BPA plastics through PET production using a catalyst called antimony trioxide—a carcinogen and EDC, which affects fertility in men and women, neurodevelopment and glucose metabolism, and disrupts thyroid function [27]. This toxin can absorb into the skin due to even low temperatures or regular levels of body heat, or via sweat or saliva. Additionally, microplastics are released into the air and onto the body during each wear and wash. Because of its lack of biodegradability, the particles are then consumed, absorbed or spread by various objects, plants, insects, fish, animals and other humans throughout the environment [27].

    Additionally, acrylic fibers are made from acrolynitrile (aka vinyl cyanide), which is a carcinogen effecting the brain, lungs and bowels, and acts as a mutagen, targeting the central nervous system. According to the CDC, acrylonitrile enters our bodies through skin absorption, as well as inhalation and ingestion. It is not easily recycled or biodegradeable. It was found that women who work in factories producing acrylic fibers have seven times the rate of breast cancer as the normal population, and those working with nylon have double that risk [28].

Healing Your Cycle: Positive Change

   After enduring such a long-winded list of how EDCs and reproductive conditions effect women’s hormones and overall biological rhythm, let’s explore the light at the end of the tunnel; a ray of hope in the midst of hard truth. While there are many factors working against the natural female cycle in the modern world, there are most definitely ways in which women can take control of their reproductive health and wellbeing to re-sync with their cycles. After all, happy hormones lead to an overall happier life, and isn’t that the end goal?

Diet

   One of the most underrated aspects of health maintenance in terms of impact is diet and metabolic habit. Each phase of the infradian cycle requires different nutrients in order to perform at maximum efficiency in their respective functions. The most important thing is to pause before acting on a stomach rumble and think about “Am I hungry, or is the last meal I ate still digesting right now?” and “What am I craving, and how does it fit into the current phase of my cycle?”. You might discover that your body has been telling you exactly what it needs, but you might have missed the signs.

* Although not mentioned in the section covering EDCs, pesticides contribute to the disruption of female and male hormones. Please wash all produce thoroughly before consumption! (Mix vinegar and baking soda into a water bath)

Menstrual Phase

   The menstrual phase is probably the most taxing phase the body goes through in the infradian cycle (not surprising, since there is considerable blood loss and uterine contractions to shed the endometrium!). High power foods like protein, healthy fats, minerals and root vegetables are needed to support the body and its energy levels as it works through the grueling task of refreshing the endometrium.

   Red meats and fatty fish like salmon (and even beans!) during this phase of the cycle replenish low iron levels and provide substance and caloric benefits while the body is going through a sort of “purge” of unneeded tissues. (Be aware of eating too much red meat, as a compound called prostaglandin can cause more bleeding when too much is ingested.)

    Healthy fats such as probiotic yogurts, nuts, olive oil, and avocado are also beneficial in reducing inflammation and cramping, maintaining muscle strength, and a feeling of fullness after eating to help prevent over indulgence during this time of nutrient deficiency. It’s not at all uncommon for snacking to become more frequent in this phase. Although it’s not a sin to have a sweet treat or splurge a bit on a meal here and there, remembering that balance is key during menstruation (and really all of the phases) is extremely important to long-term health.

    Root vegetables such as purple potatoes, yams, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, carrots, and pretty much anything else you can think of to stir into some sort of hearty stew are great for providing vitamin A. This aids the liver in processing estrogen and revitalizes the body’s vitamin and mineral reserve.

    Some supplements that can be incorporated alongside diet include:

magnesium: helps to reduce cramping by relaxing contractions

omega3: anti inflammatory agent can also relax contractions

vitamin D&E: anti inflammatory that reduces the severity of dysmenorrhea

zinc: anti inflammatory that can reduce cramping

iron: supports the replenishing of red blood cells

   Think of this time as a grounding period to reconnect the mind, body, and spirit to the earth. The hearty vegetables and hefty meats nourish and root us from the busy, hectic world outside in order for the body to slow down, rest and recuperate in preparation for the beginning of a new cycle.

Follicular Phase

   The follicular phase is the revitalized product of menstruation. The body is fresh and ready to re-acclimate to routine and societal expectation. This is the perfect time for light, colorful, and vibrant foods as well as pre and probiotics and complex carbs.

    Lean proteins like chicken, tofu, nuts, and eggs are your friend in this phase. Some may feel inclined to go full salad-mode after refreshing from menstruation, but everyone should maintain a level of balance that feels right for their own body.

    Colorful vegetables like carrots, lettuce, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and cucumber help the body to metabolize estrogen and maintain healthy levels in the endocrine system.

    Pre and probiotics of the follicular phase include fermented and pickled foods like kombucha, kefir, miso, sauerkraut, kimchi, and yogurt. These foods promote healthy gut flora which—if there have ever been any facts that stick in mind, this should be one of them—ultimately dictates the wellness of the rest of the body alongside the endocrine system. (Highly recommend further reading on this topic!)

   There are good carbs, and not-so-good carbs. Brown rice, quinoa, and grains are some good carbs the body can benefit from in this phase to fuel energy reserves.

   Some supplements that can be incorporated alongside diet include:

vitamin B: supports energy levels and hormone balance

zinc: regulates hormones and maintains cycle

fiber: whether through fibrous vegetables or supplement maintains healthy digestion

Ovulatory Phase

   The ovulatory phase is the body’s time for getting a little hot and heavy. Not only have hormones and energy levels risen, but body temperature also gets a fraction higher. To combat the heat, eat raw and cooling foods with lots of color. Metabolic activity is lower at this time, so not as many carbs or calories in general are needed to sustain energy.

    Fish, eggs, and lamb are some healthy proteins for this phase, as well as lentils.

    Vegetables like bell peppers, spinach, tomatoes (also affectionately known as love apples), asparagus, scallion, dandelion, cucumber, and okra keep the body fresh and rejuvenated during ovulation. Specifically, okra is very healthy to consume throughout the cycle, as its pods secrete a mucous-like fluid that positively impacts the mucosal membrane of the digestive track as well as the vaginal canal and uterus!

   Don’t hold back on the pre and probiotics from the follicular phase since they can still influence digestive efficiency and healthy gut flora.

   Some supplements that can be incorporated alongside diet include:

omega3: anti inflammatory agent supports hormone health

vitamin B&E: helps the body release eggs & anti inflammatory that supports fertility and hormone balance

zinc: anti inflammatory supports hormone health

Luteal Phase

   The body slowly winds down in the luteal phase to once again prepare for menstruation. This is truly the time to shy away from anti inflammatory foods like sugar, dairy, very spicy foods, and alcohol to regulate painful contractions during menstruation.

    Working back into the denser and fattier meats, fish, turkey, beans, and beef are great proteins for the luteal phase.

   There’s also a gradual return to root vegetables. Cabbage, cauliflower, celery, cucumber, collard greens, onion, pumpkin, purple potatoes, yams, and sweet potatoes are the go-tos in this phase.

    Carbs come back into play as well. Brown rice, millet, and whole grains help support the body’s wind-down time.

    Some supplements that can be incorporated alongside diet include:

magnesium: alleviates PMS symptoms

calcium: promotes relaxation

chasteberry: supports progesterone levels

Foods to Avoid

   Many cycle syncing practitioners promote a mindset of focusing on foods they CAN eat versus foods they CAN’T eat. Psychologically, this changes the perception of “restricted” eating as a punishment and alters it to a conscious lifestyle change which invests in a healthy body, mind, and spirit for future versions of themselves. However, for those who would prefer a more cut and dry outline of foods to avoid within the cycle, listed below are some inflammatory foods to limit (does not need to be a cold turkey elimination) in personal dietary choices.

gums (xanthan gum, guar gum, carrageenan, lecithin gum, carob/locust bean gum, gellan gum, Arabic gum)

   Gums are carcinogenic to humans and can cause additional side effects. Check labels for gum content. Switch to thickening agents like corn starch, potato starch, rice flour, and arrowroot powder.

inflammatory oils (seed oils, vegetable oil)

   Check labels for inflammatory oil content. Consider switching to olive, coconut, sesame, and avocado oils (some avocado oils may be contaminated with inflammatory oils, always check!). Coconut oil and LIGHT olive oil are good substitutes for vegetable oil in baking.

dairy products (cheese, pasteurized milk, etc)

   Check labels for dairy content. Consider switching to almond or coconut milk, dairy free cheeses (i.e. Daiya), and nut-based yogurts. (Cashew milk yogurt is a personal favorite which can double as sour cream on taco Tuesdays!)

soy products (lecithins, GMO content, estrogen unbalancing effects, long-term influence on growth, digestion, sexual maturation, thyroid health, and breast cancer risk)

   Check labels for soy content. Controlled amounts of soy consumed in moderation are beneficial to the body. Consider limiting soy consumption to miso, soy sauce, edamame, natto, etc.

refined sugar (bleached sugar, corn syrup, etc)

   Unnaturally occurring sugars are an inflammatory agent that affects insulin regulation and dietary conditions. Check labels for added sugar content. Consider switching to raw cane sugar, monk fruit sweetener, honey, agave, and DIYing brown sugar by mixing cane sugar and molasses.

*Be careful of sugar free products which contain aspartame—an artificial non-saccharide sweetener 200 times sweeter than sucrose—as it’s labeled as a carcinogen and can cause kidney issues, toxic liver disease, and psychological effects [29].

gluten (bleached flour, GMOs, pesticide-treated wheat, digestive upset, fatigue, bloating, weight gain and retention, etc)

   Check labels for types of grains or flours used in gluten products. Consider switching to rice flour, buckwheat flour, corn meal, almond flour, coconut flour, oat flour, corn starch, potato starch, and arrowroot powder.

alcohol (high sugar content, gluten, inflammatory agent, bloating, fatigue, headaches, weight gain and retention, weakened liver function, etc)

   Although all alcohol is inflammatory, clear spirits (vodka, gin, tequila) are lower in sugar content compared to dark liquors (rum, whiskey, brandy, scotch, cognac) and wines. However, wines can have some health benefits when consumed in controlled amounts and in moderation. Beers contain both sugars and gluten, so be wary of amounts consumed in a given time frame.

Herbs & Seeds

   In holistic medicine, herbal remedies and a process called seed cycling are great supporters for reconnecting with the infradian rhythm and balancing changing hormones. Listed are some herbs and seeds that benefit each phase of the cycle.

Menstrual Phase

red raspberry leaf

nettle leaf

turmeric

pumpkin seeds

flax seeds

*parsley is an emmenagogue that can stimulate proper menstrual flow for late or light periods

Follicular Phase

nettle leaf

holy basil

pumpkin seeds

flax seeds

Ovulatory Phase

dandelion root

burdock root

turmeric

pumpkin seeds

flax seeds

Luteal Phase

red raspberry leaf

burdock root

dandelion root

ginger

sunflower seeds

sesame seeds

flax seeds

Movement

   Exercise or any general physical movement is extremely important for staying healthy and maintains harmony in the menstrual cycle. As hormones fluctuate, movement helps accommodate and balance levels of different chemicals in the body, including cortisol—stress hormone. The higher the cortisol, the higher the inflammation, and the harder it will be to lose stubborn fat, get rid of water weight and bloating, manage pain during bleeding and contractions, etc.

Menstrual Phase - Restorative Movement

No to Low cortisol

walking

yoga

stretching

gentle pilates

REST!!

*Studies have now proven that circadian rhythm and sleep patterns differs between men and women (surprise, surprise). Despite the 6 hours of sleep preached for the last how many years, women actually need 8 to 9 hours of sleep depending on the phase of their cycle. Take your sleep schedules seriously!!

Follicular Phase - Fitness Movement

Low cortisol

resistance training

hiking

gentle aerobic training

swimming

dancing

yoga

Ovulatory Phase - Energetic Movement

Med to High cortisol

high intensity interval training (HIIT)

martial arts & kickboxing

spinning

aerobic training

swimming

resistance training

power yoga

dancing

hiking

Luteal Phase - Easy Movement

Low to No cortisol

gentle aerobic training

resistance training

yoga

pilates

swimming

dancing

rest

*Notice the cyclical nature of each phase’s movement! It begins very gently, increases in activity until the climax of ovulation, and then gradually returns to restful movement again.

Personal Care

   Within personal care there are sub-topics of what women can take control of to promote a healthy cycle. This section will review skin care for each phase of the cycle, endocrine-safe fabrics, period products, makeup, and other personal care products that can subsidize those containing harmful toxins.

Skin Care

Menstrual Phase

   Hydrate and moisturize! Since estrogen and progesterone are low, it weakens the skin barrier and makes it dry. Use a gentle cleanser and a hydrating cream or lotion. Products like hyaluronic acid, glycerin, peptides and ceramides are great for this stage of your cycle [30]. Drink lots of water!

Follicular Phase

   Maintain your skin’s normal health needs as estrogen rises and revitalizes the epidermis! Since there isn’t much progesterone in this phase, the skin won’t be as oily. Regularly cleansing and moisturizing should do the trick.

Ovulatory and Luteal Phases

   Progesterone rapidly elevates in these phases causing the production of more sebum and oils of the skin and hair. Skin sensitivity is heightened at these times, so continue using a gentle cleanser and non-active-ingredient products, like those that contain niacinamide [30].

Makeup

   Finding makeup that doesn’t negatively impact hormones can be tricky, since many contain EDCs, as previously discussed. While it might be impossible to avoid EDCs completely in the makeup industry, there are cleaner and higher quality options to invest in. Some of these brands include bareMinerals, RMS Beauty, Alima Pure, and (rising in popularity) Ilia Beauty.

    These brands create eco-friendly, non-toxic, and cruelty free skincare & beauty products to help improve the conditions of the environment and of consumer wellness. Each brand carries their own formula of serums, moisturizers, foundations, concealers, lip products, and eye products that maintain skin health while simultaneously shining a spotlight on natural beauty.

    Perfume can also be considered a cosmetic. Like discussed earlier, mass produced perfumes contain harmful EDCs. But at the root, perfumes are scents derived from plants. Making DIY perfume is easy and fun, and probably more affordable. Let’s say Sarah (fake person for this scenario) really enjoys Marc Jacobs’ Daisy Love perfume, but wants to avoid the EDCs in the formula. She can research the ingredients and make her own formula with essential oils! Cloudberry seed oil is a base note of the perfume, but it’s also incredibly good for vitality of the skin with fatty acids like Omega 3&6. This can be mixed with daisy essential oil and sandalwood, vanilla, amber, and patchouli to create the cashmere and woody scent. Mixing different amounts together with a base solution will then create a similar perfume!

    Most perfumes are alcohol based, so using vodka as a base is on the table. However, oil based scents can last longer. There are a few options to consider, but always remember to dilute essential oils as they’re too potent to apply directly to the skin!

Soap, Shampoo & Conditioner

   Bath products are used daily, and are therefore very important to consider in creating an EDC-free or cleaner home environment. Right off the bat, a great substitute for mass produced soaps and body washes are bar soaps made with goat’s milk and other organic materials. Buying handmade soaps are a great way to invest in quality and health, and to support small businesses!

   Drugstore shampoos & conditioners have their quality-over-quantity substitutes as well. Companies like Prose and Function of Beauty take time and care to formulate products specifically for hair type (and skin type) to meet personal health and/or beauty goals. Companies like The Earthling Co. and Viori also make shampoo & conditioner BARS. This is a revolutionary innovation on their parts. Not only are bars more sustainable for long-term and controlled use, but they also reduce waste in the environment. For hair types 2C to 4C, brands like Innersence, Uncle Funky’s Daughter, Only Curls, Cantu, Camille Rose, Mielle and many others use natural ingredients and do their utmost to avoid EDCs in their products.

*Many small business owners also use organic and non-toxic ingredients in their products, don’t forget to support small and local businesses and the quality they provide!

Cleaning Products and Detergents

   Most people don’t even consider natural and non-toxic cleaning products nowadays. Clorox, bleach, and harsh chemicals seem to be pushed the most, even in child-centered environments. In reality, a good ol’ combination of baking soda, vinegar and lemon juice does the trick, and it’s very affordable since most people have these in their pantries. The chemical reaction caused by the baking soda interacting with acid acts as a cleaning agent for not only messy surfaces, but also for fruits and vegetables! Adding some vinegar and baking soda to a water bath and letting produce sit for 5 to 10 minutes reveals a pretty disgusting—yet relieving—sight of clean produce versus dirty water. Some other non-toxic cleaning brands include Branch Basics, Bon Ami, Ecos, Grove Collaborative, and Enviro One.

   Now, detergents. Even though detergents and softeners and fresheners aren’t being poured onto the skin or the body being submerged into a warm bath of sticky blue liquid, the EDCs in detergents are absorbed by fabrics in the wash which can then absorb into the skin via perspiration and heat. Some non-toxic laundry products include Branch Basics, Thieves, Ecos, Meliora, baking soda, essential oils for fragrance, and wool balls instead of dryer sheets. (Awesome laundry tip: apply some essential oil to a wool ball before drying laundry. It will come out warm and smelling amazing!)

Endocrine-Safe Fabrics

   When the term “natural fibres” is mentioned, what comes to mind? Any organic fiber made from plants rather than plastics. Some endocrine-safe fabric fibres include cotton, linen, rayon, wool, hemp, silk, leather, cashmere, bamboo, sisal, and jute.

    It’s HIGHLY recommended that women wear 100% cotton underwear. This fibre’s breathability aids with air circulation down south, which helps to eliminate odor, heat, and wetness from sweat and discharge. Not only is it uncomfortable to experience these, but it can also cause infections due to heat and moisture acting as a breeding ground for bacteria.

*Be wary of lingerie like thongs. Although they seem breathable for lack of coverage, some thong fabrics contain EDCs, and the vulva can come into contact with any bottoms you’re wearing. This can also become a breeding ground for bacteria.

    Silk is a great fabric for pillow cases and bonnets. If you’ve experienced frizzy hair in the mornings, or you need to keep your coils and curls covered overnight, silk is the go-to fabric for avoiding static electricity while tossing and turning in bed. Silk is an extremely fine fiber, so it causes less static with friction, ergo less frizz and dead ends.

    Linen is a light yet durable fabric. It can be worn at any time of year, but it’s particularly useful in the spring and summer temperatures when the sun is at its closest and hottest. In contrast, wool is wonderful for the autumn and winter seasons with its insulated density. If there are any concerns about animal cruelty in the process of shearing, shepherds are careful and well educated on how to maintain their sheep’s coats. It’s very necessary for sheep to be shorn since the wool can easily become overgrown, matted, and weighted, causing discomfort and even pain for the sheep. Check out different companies’ animal cruelty policies for further information if still unsure.

   Not only are these fabrics organic, they’re also very sustainable. Unlike the trends and EDCs of fast fashion, well made endocrine-safe textiles can last with minimal wear for many years. This reduces waste production and supports the possibility of a healthy change in consumerist economy. Money can then be saved and put toward investing in true quality, rather than quantity and trends lasting less than a year.

Period Products

   It’s easy to go to the supermarket and pick up a pack of pads, liners, or tampons for an upcoming menstrual phase. Yet all of these contain phthalates, volatile organic compounds, parabens, environmental phenols, fragrance chemicals, dioxins and dioxin-like compounds which disrupt the endocrine system, as well as the vagina’s natural PH balance and flora [31].

    A good substitution for store-bought menstrual pads and liners are reusable fabric pads. These fabric pads contain bamboo fibres which wick and lock in sweat and blood. Unlike store-bought pads, reusable pads can actually be used for 8 hours before a change (although durations can vary by preference or heaviness of flow). The blood absorbed into the pad can be wrung out for collection (discussed next) or simply rinsed with water until wrung clear, then tossed into the laundry to be washed.

    Reusable pads also save a significant amount of money. Not only have extremely necessary feminine products been made for profit, the average price of pads rose by 10% in 2022, perpetuating university students’ likelihood of “period poverty” with 20% of women unable to afford store-bought products [32]. Women spend about $4,800 in their lifetime just on menstrual pads [33]. A reliable pack of reusable pads, however, can cost around $20 to $30 and last—with proper care—for 5 to 10 YEARS (I am currently on year 3!).

    Similarly, menstrual cups are a great resource and replacement for tampons. Tampons are absorbent, yet susceptible to leaks and can be uncomfortable when inserting and removing. Like store-bought pads, tampons cost a significant amount over a woman’s lifetime, around $2,000 [33]. Menstrual cups are made with medical-grade silicone which are soft and simple to use, and they can last up to 10 YEARS. These devices are great for collection, even more so than reusable pads (discussed next).

    Towels. Towels? Yes, towels. A good, plush towel is actually a great period product. Thick towels can be folded in half for extra security and sat or laid on to engage in free bleeding. Free bleeding is the practice in which women do not use period products or any constrictive garments to obstruct menstrual flow. Whether it be beneath a tree on personal property, or in the comfort of the home, free bleeding has many benefits including maintaining vaginal flora, reducing menstrual product waste, and reducing stress [34]. Some even say it can lighten the flow. (A/N: see my previous free bleeding blog for more on my first experience!)

Menstrual Blood in Spells & Ritual

   In ancient Rome, Pliny the Elder argued that menstrual blood contained limitless power. Hailstorms, whirlwinds, and lightning were said to be dispersed by a menstruating woman. It could also sour crops, wither fruits and vegetables, kill bees, drive dogs insane, dull the brightness of mirrors, blunt razors, turn linens black, and rust iron and bronze.

    Blood in the context of spell work and ritual acts both as a taglock/personal effect and as a boost of energy and power within the working. Although blood magick isn’t evil, it’s important to be wise about how and when it’s used for a variety of reasons such as…

it could cause bacterial growth

it could backfire much more strongly

it could bind one to the working longer and more intensely than one would like

   Now, these reasons shouldn’t be a deterrent for using blood in spell and ritual. Negative outcomes can be easily avoided with critical thinking and decision making. First and foremost in the safety of blood magick: keep tools clean. Sterilizing and sanitizing certain tools and items is crucial in avoiding bacterial growth when working with blood. Cleaning the altar or work space before and after the working is also important to maintain a healthy environment.

    Since this article focuses on menstrual blood, there does not need to be any wounding of the practitioner in order to draw blood. (If working with regular blood, do not draw from the palm, thigh, or forearm as shown in pop culture. This could cause over-bleeding and is dangerous!!) As mentioned in the previous section, menstrual blood can be collected easily by using a menstrual cup, reusable pads, or by way of free bleeding. In reality, the most blood one needs when performing blood magick is a few drops, but at the time of menstruation, much more is available for use for a longer duration of time. Collected blood can be stored in a sterilized glass container in the refrigerator, or dried and kept in a cool dark space in wait for rehydration.

   Be mindful of what spells or rituals the blood is being used in. As mentioned, the use of menstrual blood can very strongly tie a practitioner to the working and could backfire more strongly than usual workings because there is more power and energy being incorporated. Spending the proper amount of preparatory time beforehand and really setting intentions can help avoid these outcomes and secure success in spells and ritual.

How to Use Menstrual Blood

   Menstrual blood is versatile in its application to magickal practice. In every case it can be considered a type of ritual or ceremony since bleeding occurs every month in conjunction with the phases of the moon.

   The first method of using menstrual blood is as an anointing “oil”. It can’t really be called an oil since it’s blood, but nonetheless, it can be referred to as such for associative purposes. As discussed earlier in the article, Filipino women apply menstrual blood to the face to prevent breakouts and inflammation of the skin. But since it’s also associated with fertility, life’s source, the cycle of the natural world, cleansing, transformation, and divine exploration, blood can anoint the face, body, or other objects to aid in workings involving such themes.

    When developing a deeper connection with the elements, menstrual blood can be included in these rituals/spells to tie oneself to the element of choice. Blood can be used to anoint candles in fire-related workings. After carving the wax, wiping a thumb’s-worth of blood over the carving will increase its effects. In water workings, blood can be added to a bowl or chalice of water to transform it with the properties mentioned above. Additionally, a few small drops of fresh blood can be diluted in water and safely consumed to further connect with the element of water. Blood can be taken outdoors on a windy day and trickled into the breeze, or left on the skin or other object to be dried by the air. It can be offered back to the earth as is, or diluted and used to water potted houseplants. The nutrients of menstrual blood enrich the soil and can aid in developing deeper connection with plant allies. (Do not add blood to still-water plants, the water will go foul over time!) Some free bleeding practitioners sit at the bases of trees and give their blood back to the earth directly while meditating or casting spells.

   Menstrual blood can also be used for divination. Scrying with a bowl of pure or diluted blood can be extremely powerful as well as grounding.

Art is another breathtaking way to use menstrual blood. Jasmine Alicia Carter (@jasminealiciacarter) is a renowned artist known for her use of menstrual blood in spiritually significant paintings, pulling inspiration from her own erotic form and from Hindu and Buddhist teachings. Her blood has been used in hundreds of beautiful works including her most recent project “Blazing Bliss Mandala” which used 4 cycles worth of her blood!

Rowan Vossepoel (@hanahonua.memoir) is another example of a menstrual artist, in tandem with her other artistic mediums including photography and woodwork. In tune with her cycle, she engages with nature and the creatures in her life with such awareness, and records her spiritual growth with her art.

Blood art can be created on paper, wood, stone, leaves, bone, skin, or any other material that is significant to the practitioner. Drops of blood can be added to ink to write petitions and increase the power of words, or to draw.

Resources

   After discussing the depth of infradian rhythm and its application in both lifestyle and in witchcraft, some resources may be helpful for getting started on a new journey of embracing your cycle, if so chosen. Listed below are some apps, influencers, and texts that can be very impactful in this endeavor.

In the Flo by Alisa Vitti

   This book kickstarted my passion for writing this article. I’m also planning on developing a health course based on feminine anatomy and physiology to help undereducated women.

MyFlo App

   The MyFlo app is in conjunction with In the Flo. Developed by Alisa Vitti, the app allows you to become more educated on the infradian rhythm while tracking your cycle and its symptoms.

Elicia Goguen on YouTube

   Elicia is a great spokeswoman for female empowerment not only through menstruation, but in other areas of life such as mental health, relationships, fitness, motivation, and more. Many of her videos are structured like a vodcast, so it’s the perfect content to indulge in the background of regular daily activity.

Stardust App

   The Stardust App is another period tracker, but is connected to new age and witchy themes. This app not only educates in science, but also in folklore of the phases of the infradian rhythm. By purchasing an annual subscription for unlimited access, the proceeds are put toward funding access to feminine products for the needy.

MyFitnessPal

   MyFitnessPal is a great resource for tracking movement and diet if it’s in line with your lifestyle goals to do so.

Flo App

   The Flo app is another period tracking app. It’s not as educational or accurate as Stardust or MyFlo, but has a great community of women that post on the Flo forums to talk about similar struggles, relationships, life, and anything period related.

*Please be aware that some period tracking apps will market personal information based on your location. Make sure to read each app’s privacy policies!!

   There are many ways to adapt magick and lifestyle to accommodate the menstrual cycle. It’s a very raw way of connecting with what it means to be a woman, and connecting with the millions of women that came before. Witchcraft can sometimes be a bit messy, but that’s something to embrace rather than shy away from. By accepting some unconventional means of raising power and creating change through magick, there is no telling what you can accomplish.

    Heal your cycle. Live by it. Celebrate it. Liberate it. And in turn, you will celebrate and liberate yourself from the confines you didn’t know were holding you back, both in your practice and in your daily life.

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you learned something about your own cycle, or about the cycle of a loved one. Some of the information in this article can also be applied to men such as the information in the EDC and diet sections. Anyone can benefit from positive lifestyle changes and healing. Please comment or DM me with any questions or corrections, or with requests for certain sections to be added! I would love to hear from you about your personal experiences and how the article impacted you.

Sláinte 🌿

Citations

1. Menstrual Cycle - You and Your Hormones

2. Circadian Rhythm - Sleep Foundation

3. Infradian Rhythm - FLO Living

4. The Witch Archetype - The Moon School

5. Some Cultures Treat Menstruation With Respect - NPR

6. Menstrual Rituals Around the World - Flex Fits

7. Evolved Archetypes: The Feminine Warrior - Beyond Human Stories

8. The Mother Archetype: Understand and Embody Her Feminine Power - Where Wonder Waits

9. The Enchantress Female Archetype - Allison Clark Intuitive

10. PCOS - WHO International

11. Endometriosis - WHO International

12. POI - Medline Plus

13. Endocrine Disrupters - NIEHS

14. EDC and Reproductive Disorders in Women, Men, and Animal Models - PubMed

15. Uterine Fibroids - Mayo Clinic

16. EDC: An Endocrine Society Scientific Statement - NCBI

17. The synthetic progestin norethindrone causes thyroid endocrine disruption in adult zebrafish - Science Direct

18. Prenatal exposure to diethylstilbestrol has long-lasting, transgenerational impacts on fertility and reproductive development - PubMed

19. Diethylstilbestrol (DES) Exposure and Cancer - Cancer.gov

20. Parabens and their effects on the endocrine system - Science Direct

21. Glycol Ethers - EPA.gov

22. Fragrance compounds: The wolves in sheep’s clothings - PubMed

23. Potential interference of aluminum chlorohydrate with estrogen receptor signaling in breast cancer cells - PubMed

24. Exploring the endocrine disrupting potential of lead through benchmark modelling – Study in humans - Science Direct

25. The endocrine disruptive effects of mercury - PubMed

26. Endocrine disruption by cadmium, a common environmental toxicant with paradoxical effects on reproduction - PubMed

27. Recycling Plastic Into Clothing Isn’t Going To Cut It - Medium

28. 10 REASONS TO MAKE SURE YOUR SOFA CHOICES ARE UPHOLSTERED WITH SAFELY PROCESSED FABRICS - OECO Textiles

29. Aspartame hazard and risk assessment results released - WHO

30. Cycle Sync Your Skincare - OOVA

31. Endocrine-disrupting chemicals found in menstrual products including tampons, pads, and liners — GMU

32. How price impacts individuals buying menstrual products — NM Politcal Report

33. The Cost of Your Period - Pandia Health

34. 6 Benefits of Free Bleeding - Clue

[welcometomybraincomics]

Ahaha I'm finally active on a platform while I'm being inspired, so you get to see the whack ass away my brain takes inspiration from things and ends up with something that's only tangentially related LMAO

----

OK so ✨inspiration✨ (speed bump by dratchetismyjam) has the Goofy Road Trip machine going brr. What if, during their travels, Sam discovers that a majority of organics in the universe do not run on electricity? Most, if not all, animals on Earth have internal electrical functions: nerves and muscles and all that. because what's more alien than one of the basic functions not functioning the same at all?

And for Sam, Rita, and Carlo being extremely confused Something happens to bring that up. primarily, i'm thinking something along lines of Sam needing to be resuscitated for some reason, and Carlo going in with the electrical paddles and someone starts screaming because "that's not how organic biology works" and "ohh my god they're really going to kill them!" And then Sam gets up and is fine afterwards.

The alternative route is some communication barrier due to the way nurture influences logic. Like, humans equate a lot of the stuff in our own biology to machines because it's easier to understand then the complex chemical and electrical and whatever else systems we actually have running in us, So Sam has an easier time understanding Cybertronians than most of the organics. this comes out in either a casual conversation or something where some sort of logic is being applied where Sam makes a reference to how human anatomy functions and whatever organic they're talking to being extremely confused because "Um, no? that's not how it works." Sort of like [Insert humans are space orcs audio where humans and an alien species interact and are sort of negotiating trade and crossing over their research and their electrical engineers, when talking to each other realize that humans automatically move stuff without having to think about every single little detail, leading to less compact ships with lower efficiency, while the aliens do have to think about every single breath each movement that they make, how often they blink, et cetera, leading their ships to all be interconnected and also leaves them in the blind spot of not making generic parts that can just be swapped for each other; It's an HFY (humanity fuck yeah) or humans are space orc piece and I can't find it😭]

[with-each-sunset]

a minor demon possessed my body and refused to let me study any longer unless i drew this

[spooksdraws]

another little art trade with my wonderful and patient friend @mosshugs-art <3 inspired by his fanfic Restlessness of Ghosts

i may not be in the fandom or even know much of the show but the writing is so good i seriously recommend it for all your found family needs!

[notepadsandtealeaves]

K. Bokuto || Say My Name A Thot’s Thoughts 💦

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | hq tag | m.lists | main blog ||

↠ Requested By: This damned thirst dream that won’t leave me be until I write it out ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: So very NSFW ((*whacks minors on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* No! Not for you!!)) ↠ Chronology: Post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: Any applicable warnings can be found in the tag list under the cut. ↠ Betas? Lmaoooooo… ↠ Total WC: 2.3k~

“I know you know it, sweetheart—so say it. Say my fucking name, right the fuck now.”

He’ll get what he wants—even if he has to fuck it out of you…

I want this man to snap my spine like a gd glow stick. That’s it, that’s the tweet.

((p*rn with v. little plot ahead, in case you somehow couldn’t figure that out lol))

💦 Tags: Reader uses they/them pronouns (tho I don’t think Reader’s pronouns actually come up in this? dk how I managed that *shrugs*) | Reader has ambiguous anatomy | Penetrative sex (missionary that turns into a mating press, Reader receiving) | Rough-ish sex (some grabbing of the face, and like he’s really laying into you, but it doesn’t get too heavy) | ((so maybe it’s more ‘hard’ than ‘rough’?? idk, I’ll let you lot decide)) | ((also, Bo’s a lil bit feral in this one, ngl)) | Some dom/sub undertones | ((my subby ass is predictable as hell, so are you even surprised at this point?? lmao)) | A smattering of ✨ ~Size kink~ ✨️ | ((Bo’s a big, big boy with a big, BIG dick, but I digress)) | Use of petnames (pretty baby, sweetheart, that kinda beat) | Also Bo’s got a bit of voice kink—who saw that one coming?? | ((me, I did, because I just made it a thing lol)) | Unprotected Sex because is fic, and is hot in fic. Don’t the thing irl unless you take proper precautions and discuss it with your partner well beforehand, mmkay? Mmkay… | Also what probably amounts to an unrealistic amount of cum, but look—I’ve got my kinks, okay? Lmao | Also, also—potentially OOC Bokuto if you canon him to be soft ‘n’ sweet in bed. He can be, and is a good portion of the time, but like… sometimes he just wants to bully you a bit while he fucks you into the mattress, yanno? | Also, also, also—unintentional cockwarming | Sappy ending because OP is a giant bb that just wants to be loved

“Bo-Bokuto, gods, please,” you damn near sob, the pleasure coursing through the whole of your body setting your hands to feebly grasping at the sheets, your face, and anything else you can reach in an attempt to ground yourself.

For his part the man above you is distinctly unamused, though for the life of you, you cannot figure out why that is–

“That’s not my name, baby. Not when I’m taking you like this.”

Oh. That.

In all honesty, you don’t think anyone can blame you for the slip up—after all, the pair of you were little more than acquaintances just a week ago. Sure, you’d been keeping up a line of friendly banter on those not-so-rare occasions when he decided to grace your little deli with his presence, and yeah you could reliably call him a regular at this point, but still you’d hardly been expecting him to ask you out when he bounded through the door last Friday. What’s more you didn’t think that your very first date would go so well that he would be taking you on another just a few days later, and finally a third one two days after that. To say that the pair of you are speed running your relationship is an understatement, and yet somehow things don’t feel rushed in the slightest.

This is more than likely due to what you’ve now dubbed the ‘Bokuto Effect’.

Said effect seems to lend an air of stability to actions that would otherwise leave you recoiling. And how can it not when he’s just so… him. Kind and sweet, caring and compassionate… You may not have known him for long, but you’re thoroughly convinced that there’s not a malicious bone in this man’s body. This is why you allowed him to follow you up to your apartment tonight, despite it having been technically less than a week of your being together—gods, are you even together? You have no idea as you’ve yet to actually talk about anything even remotely close to that, much less bothered about putting a label on it. There’s no time to consider something that ultimately feels tangential when you’re in the middle of falling at a breakneck speed.

(You can only hope that he feels the same, this quickening that has you casting aside a lifetime’s worth sensibility and letting him in like this. It’s hard to tell when he’s always smiling, always laughing, always keeping it light and bubbly and wonderful…)

In the now Bokuto—no, Koutaro—parts his lips around a particularly vicious looking grin. “I know you know it, sweetheart—so say it. Say my fucking name, right the fuck now.”

You try, you swear you do, but when he’s drilling so deeply into you, his thick head scraping against that one spot with every drag of his thick cock… words become understandably difficult. You slur out something with roughly the same composition as the appellation (you think) but valiant though they are, your efforts are not enough to appease him. The sound of his laugh paired with the glint in his eyes has you shivering underneath him. Who knew he could wear ‘cocky bastard’ so well?

“Aww, listen to you,” he coos, condescension dripping from every syllable. “Cock drunk already, baby? Can’t say my name because you can’t remember it, huh? Well lemme help you out.”

Suddenly the legs that had been tossed over his broad (so, so damn broad—fuck) shoulders are being pushed up against your chest with the whole of his impressive weight following closely behind. Your resulting scream is loud enough that you’re sure to get a noise complain or several, and maybe even a visit from the cops if your neighbors confuse your bliss for a legitimate cry for help. But those are all distant worries, things that cannot find a permanent home in a mind that is far too clouded with lust and a resounding chant of more-more-MORE.

You claw at his back as he bottoms out over and over again, marking territory that you’re not entirely sure is yours to claim; the sounds that are pouring out of you all the while would be mortifying, you’re sure, if you weren’t so lost in the sex fog. For his part, the man above you is just as vocal, with a series of hisses, groans, and chuckles falling past his lips as he works at dismantling you, piece by needy piece. It seems to take him a few moments to remember his original goal—or maybe it’s more so a case of an artist admiring his work—but once he does…

“Kou- “-tar- “-o.”

He fucks the syllables into you, growling them directly in your face each time his hips come to press flush against the plush of your ass and thighs. He repeats it again and then a third time before he palms the bottom half of your face. That he can cover such an impressive area with just one hand should probably unnerve you, but as it stands the size disparity only makes you hotter. You moan into his grasp only to have the sound scale up into a squeak when he smooshes your cheeks inwards with a flex of his fingers. The movement sees your lips jutting and puckering in what you’re sure has to be an extremely unflattering matter, but if he minds the view he doesn’t show it.

“Come on, pretty baby,” he starts, voice surprisingly even (or maybe not, given his job’s stamina requirements), “I know you’re feelin’ good, but that doesn’t excuse your bad behavior. Now say it with me—Kou-tar-o.”

“Kou- Kou—ahh~! Fuck, so good–”

He tuts at that, his grip going that tiny bit tighter. “Focus, baby. Kou-”

“Kou-” you repeat, the breathy quality of your voice reducing the sound to little more than a pant.

“-tar-”

“-tar-”

“-o.”

“-oo-ooo shit!”

When you feel the first brush of his fingers against your sex the only thing that keeps you from vaulting straight off of the bed is the sheer size of him. You’d been so focused on getting things right (on giving him what he wants) that you hadn’t noticed his free hand moving to what little space there is to be found between you. Years of honing his craft has left the thing roughened with thick callouses; they had felt a bit odd against your own smoother palm when he’d held your hand earlier in the day, but feeling them now… The scrape is addicting, adding an extra delicious layer to the pleasure of him working over your core with a precision that shouldn’t be possible as this is the first time you’ve been together like this–

Just yet another result of the Bokuto Effect, you suppose.

Koutaro kisses you deeply then, greedily filling up his lungs with your moans even as he empties out your own. When he breaks away with a growled pant some long seconds later he’s all wide, wild eyes and pouring praise.

“That’s good, baby—fuck, it sounds so good when you say it like that. K-keep doin’ that f’me, yeah? Keep screaming my name and I promise I’ll make you feel so, so good– Gods, you’re so good…”

And he’s as good as his word.

Every utterance of his name sees him taking you harder, impossibly deeper, and faster. It’s a loop of pleasure that is all too easy to fall into; your whimpering cries giving him what he wants as his rolling hips work hard to give you what you need. Sweat darkens the lighter strands of his hair at the base turning the pale silver into something more akin to slate, with the salty liquid occasionally breaking past his hairline to slide down the chiseled contours of his face. Knowing that he—a professional athlete who is in near godly shape—is fucking you hard enough to actually break a sweat is a heady thing, one that draws you yet closer to your end.

With your orgasm so close at hand your brain’s higher functions all but cease. All there is in this moment is you and him and the one word that is left to you: Koutaro.

“Sound so pretty,” he tells you before pressing a quick kiss to your mumbling lips. “Gods, babe, I’m close—so damn close, I– ah-ah-ah shit!” A particularly decadent roll of his hips nearly sees you both shaking apart right then and there, but he pulls back some—just a bit, just enough to draw things out a little longer.

“‘M close,” you tell him a short while later, your declaration sounding more like a lament than anything. You don’t want this to end, but at the same time you need it to if only for your poor battered hole’s sake. “Fuck, Kou, please…”

He softens a bit at that, those molten pools of gold syruping with something tender as he takes in your fucked out expression. “I got you, baby, I promise—you cum when you need to, ‘kay? Do it and I’ll be right there with you…”

This touch of gentleness is well at odds with the way he continues to take your body through its paces, and that dichotomy is the very thing that finally drives you over the edge. You manage to eke out his name one final time, and the choked cry is enough to see him falling into bliss with you. His hips stutter compulsively as rope after hot, thick rope of cum shoots into you. You can feel it squelching out of you every time he pulls back, the liquid gliding warm and viscous over your skin to drip down and pool underneath you in a small puddle that’s only going to get bigger when he pulls out—if he pulls out. It certainly doesn’t seems as if he plans to anytime soon, not with the way he’s kissing you all over your face and neck, the ministrations cut through with praise and little love-drunk giggles.

Once he’s come back to himself, Koutaro flips you both over so that you’re resting against his chest—single-handedly, a thing that’s way hotter than such a simple action should be—with his softened cock still tucked snugly inside of you. You can tell the exact moment his skin makes contact with the cooling wet spot because he yelps before jerking you both over to the left. You’re just as love-drunk as he is apparently because you cannot stop giggling all the while, giddy at the return of the silly antics that had drawn you to him in the first place (not that you mind seeing this other, darker, more mature version of him at all).

He tilts your head up towards him for a short, sweet kiss before asking, “What ya laughing at, pretty?”

“You.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Whatever, you like it,” you tease as you prop yourself up against his chest.

“I mean… yeah,” he concedes with a laugh, “but only because it’s you.”

There’s a tenderness to his gaze that turns the simple phrase into an admission and you find yourself ducking your head in an attempt to conceal just how flustered it’s left you. Suddenly the scar underneath his right pec is the most interesting thing in the world, and you find yourself lightly tracing over it as you mutter out a quiet, “Oh really?”

“Mmhmm.” As the onomatopoeic sound vibrates through his chest and up into you it somehow manages to carry far more truth than something more elegant could ever hope to—because it’s real, because it’s him.

“I like you a whole helluva lot, ____,” he continues on, “and if I’m being completely honest I’m really hoping that I didn’t screw things up.”

That’s enough to get you to look up again, and Koutaro takes in your confused look with a sheepish expression of his own. “Yanno, with all of this.” He gestures vaguely over the length of your still naked bodies. “I, um… I have a tendency to go full tilt when it’s something I want, but that’s not always the move when it comes to relationships—or am I presuming too much in calling what we’ve got a ‘relationship’? I don’t think I am, not with the way you’re smiling, but…”

You swat at his chest and earn another heart stopping kiss for your troubles. The man—your man?—underneath you gives you his signature megawatt grin, though it fades into something softer and more intimate as he regards you.

“I think you’ve already given me your answer, but just to make sure—can I call you mine?”

You trail your fingers over the expanse of his well-defined jawline before cradling his cheek in your palm as you tell him, “Only if I can call you mine, too.”

He huffs out a laugh as he nods a bit before nuzzling into your hand. “Yeah, definitely.”

“Good.”

“Great,” he amends.

“Fantastic, even.”

“Stupendous.”

“Amazing.”

“Wonderful…”

The pair of you carry on like that for a good while, exhausting your vocabularies and arguing over synonyms in between laughter and sweet kisses until rumbling stomachs demand their due.

|| Bonus

Imagine sitting in Bo’s lap while he feeds you your snack of choice. You’re both still nude because why the fuck not, tho he has opted to get you a nice, soft blanket to burrito in. So anyways, he feeding you while you guys are watching something on the television, and he finds said something v. interesting—so interesting, in fact, that the next morsel he feeds you gets shoved damn near into the back of your throat.

Cue him laughing out an apology for gagging you—“I didn’t do it on purpose, baby, I swear!”—and kissing away the compulsory tears that are streaming down your cheeks from nearly having your life ended by a set of ridiculously long fingers and a fucking Dorito or whatever the fuck he was feeding you lmfao…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[rreyie]

𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙙 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨- 𝙖𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: after three years of not seeing eren due to his buisness in marley, you reunite with him only to find he isn’t the same person anymore, but the one thing that hasn’t changed is his desire for you.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: smut! hair pulling, spanking, hate (?) sex, eren being an asshole, MAJOR season four/manga spoilers, vaginal, orgasm denial, overstimulation, fingering, oral (male receiving), f! anatomy reader, dom! eren, sub! reader

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: smut/ nsfw

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨: eren yeager, reader insert

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: i really struggled with what to name this, but i still think it turned out fine. this may be the dirtiest thing i’ve written so far but anyways, eren stans come get y’all juice

——————————————————————————

it had been three whole years since you had last seen eren. as much as you missed those emerald green eyes giving you a playful glare from across the room, you certainly did not miss his careless demeanor.

it had happened after the girl shot sasha, your best friend. as you laid there sobbing on the floor, all eren did was laugh. no comfort. no “i’m sorry.” just a half hearted chuckle from that asshole of a man.

as you put her body in a different room, you walked out of the dimly lit airship to see eren sitting on some sort of box. through that mane of chocolate brown hair, you saw those emerald eyes again, only this time, they weren’t as youthful as they once were. they were tired. drained. dull. you didn’t know how else to describe that look.

“whatcha starin at?” he asked. his voice was barely audible.

your cheeks still red and eyes puffy from crying, you sniffle and manage to speak some words. “i’m looking at the jackass who was laughing at my best friend dead on the floor.”

eren chuckles. “i see nothings changed over the last three years, huh?”

you look away from him. you couldn’t bare to look eyes with him, especially now. he touches your arm. “come on now, look at me. i missed you.”

you swat his arm away. “shut the fuck up. why did you laugh? in a time that i needed you most you just sat there and laughed?”

eren laughs again. “haven’t you forgot, dear? i can see everything. i knew sasha was going to die before it happened.” you couldn’t stand his shit anymore. you jerk your body to face him, and raise your arm, looking directly into his eyes. you throw a punch at him, aiming directly for his skull, but his calloused hand stops you, making you look weak.

“heh, let’s not get too hasty here, dear-“

“quit calling me that damned nickname!” you shout at him. “i can’t talk to you right now. i’m going to bed.” his arm releases it’s grip on yours, and you angrily storm off into your resting place in the airship.

another few days passed, and you were coming back from the memorial service held for sasha. as you took off your army great coat, darker spots staining it from the rain pattering outside, a figure towers over you.

you look up and make contact with the entity, now figuring out that it was no other than yours truly, eren.

“well, want to talk now?” he asks. his voice was monotone, like nothing happened at all. you throw your coat onto a nearby chair, and storm upstairs to your room.

you eneter the room, which was pitch black, your tear-ridden eyes not processing anything you see. only a blurry mess of shadows and highlights. you throw yourself onto your bed and curl into a fetal position.

you wanted to throw up. first your best friend dies, and then your relationship was going down the drain... on top of that a world war was happening right before your very eyes.

a cold hand is pressed onto your back. you jolt at the contact, and see erens face looking down at you. you hadn’t taken the time to notice that he had cleaned up nicely, hair in a bun and cleanly shaved.

as your head tilts upwards, he presses his lips to yours, the unfamiliar sensation making your lips tingle. you let out a small moan and feel erens mouth curl upwards.

“well, i can tell even if you didn’t miss me, you sure missed my cock.” eren says. this statement caught you off guard, and your cheeks flushed red. eren snickered, and continued to kiss you. eren inserted his slick tongue into your mouth, pushing and pulling your tongue in all different directions, mixing your saliva with his.

erens hand moved south, his finger just grazing upon your clothed womanhood. though your area was covered, you could still feel the friction of his finger and the fabric. he began to slide his hand inside the flimsy waistband of your pants and cupped your delicate womanhood.

letting out a soft moan at the contact, he began to grope and squeeze you in all the right places, and ran his index finger along your wet folds, already soaked with your slick.

“wet for me already, ain’t’cha princess?” he growls into your ear, warm breath sliding upon the exposed flesh of your neck. he moves his lips to your neck, and begins to gently suck, eager to mark you, similar to how an animal marked its territory. the gentle suction made you like putty in his arms, and you leaned into his chest. his heartbeat was beating right into your ear, giving you a sense of security.

unexpectedly, a finger slips into your walls. an “a-ah~” elicits through your lips. you shifted your hips to desperately try and feel full, even though only one narrow finger was inside you.

“only good girls get two fingers”, eren says. “are you gonna be a good girl for me? hm?” eren pushes his finger inside you more, hitting the plush sweet spot that was nestled inside you. you let out a pathetic little whimper as eren stretched you a little further.

“y-yes...” you stammer. eren began to pump his two fingers into your tight hole, as he felt his own arousal course through his veins, the fiery sensation talking over him and pulsating though him, going straight to his dick.

your thighs began to tremble as you were about to feel your orgasm, but then, right when you were on the cusp of reaching bliss, he carefully but slowly took his fingers out, his coated in your juices. he sneered at you, as your let out another whimper.

“h-hey...” you say, barely able to make words after your spoiled orgasm. “what w-was that for?”

“because you’ve been fucking around with me all week”, he responds, starting to unbuckle his leather belt. “all i’ve wanted this whole week was for your pretty little pussy to bounce on my cock, but you’ve been so stubborn that you wouldn’t even look my way. this is my payback. i’m going to absolutely fuck your brains out tonight.”

your spine shivered at the thought of you being here all night being used as erens own personal pocket pussy. you didn’t want to know how many rounds you were in for tonight, since eren never stops until he’s tired.

before you knew it, erens belt was off, and you were sitting on the bed watching him did himself of his shirt. his perfectly toned abs were semi-visible in the moonlight, the ripples of skin or bones creating a masterpiece. his hair was nearly free of the bun at this point, but you wouldn’t dare notify him of this.

eren folds the belt and gives it a little whack upon the bed, giving a crack.

“strip”, he commands. “now.”

you obey his words, and pull of your shirt without hesitation, followed by your cargo pants, leaving you in your bra and panties only.

erens gaze turns predatory as if he was a lion and you were the antelope. he flips you over almost effortlessly, and grabs your ass.

“dear god, i missed this...” he groans. “your ass is gonna be all red after i’m done with you.”

you clench your eyes, bracing for impact. you knew exactly how this was going to go down. eren cracks the belt down onto your left ass cheek, and you yelped at the impact. he did it again, the pain soon quickly melting into pleasure with each snap.

sure, eren could be a bit rough in the bedroom sometimes- no, scratch that. he could be super rough. but he always knew where the line was to be drawn. or at least he used to know. you only knew that this man had been deprived of sex for the time he was in marley, so he was likely craving some sort of intimacy. and now that he had you, he wasn’t going soft this time.

as soon as the last crack of the belt had ceased, he threw the belt down and kneeled over you.

“suck me off”, he demanded.

you flipped yourself over this time, and got level with erens member. erens black boxers had a throbbing bulge in the center. as you pulled his boxers down, his cock immediately sprang up, and slapped against his stomach.

boy, eren always had a nice dick. it was pale, but a vein ran through the side, and connected to the red tip of it. he hasn’t shaved down there in a while, so the seemingly primal hair that laid at his base was expected.

you grasped his cock that was eagerly waiting for attention, and moved your tongue along the shaft, placing kitty licks on the tip. you felt eren twitching under your touch. you wanted to tease him to compensate for your lost orgasm, to feel him writhe and beg to cum.

eren grew impatient with the kitty licks and tongue work that he grabbed a fistful of your hair and jammed your mouth onto him. you gagged at the sudden movement, the tip touching the back of your throat. he moved your head back and forth, using your spit to guide you along.

you took in his whole length. it was painful, but totally worth it to see his expression on his face. cupping his balls, you played with them, moving around the sensitive skin with your hands.

“i-m gonna c-cum...” eren warns you. you try and pull off so he wouldn’t make you choke. eren resists, only pulling you closer. his cock spasms, and releases a load of cum into your mouth. you were nearly choking on cock, the salty taste reaching every corner in your mouth.

you swallow it all. eren pulls out his cock, still hard even though he just came. he takes hold of your shoulders and pins you down on your bed.

“don’t worry princess, i’ll compensate for that lost orgasm this time.” he said, an evil smirk on his face. yup. you were in for it.

he quickly takes your bra and panties off before starting, and takes note of the giant spot of arousal in the bottom of your panties before he slides them off. he unclasps your bra and gives your breasts a quick little squeeze before pumping his cock a few times and lining it up at your entrance.

“p-please, be gentle...” you whisper.

eren laughs. “not a chance.”

he thrusts into you, his whole length unexpectedly filling you to the brim. letting out a groan, he thrusts into you again. it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. you grip the sheets beside you.

“i missed the feeling of your little pussy...” eren growls. he continues to thrust, smashing his hips into yours as he fucked you with no mercy at all.

lewd sounds of skin slapping a guttural wet sounds filled the room as you squirmed beneath him, moving your hips so he could get a good angle. his dick begins to touch on your sweet spot, hitting it repeatedly. the pressure on your spongy seeet spot was enough to make a loud moan escape from your mouth.

“m-more!” you yelp. eren heeds your command as you felt his balls slapping against your ass ruthlessly. “oh god, please, eren! please!” erens pace quickens a little bit more as you feel the burning sensation of your orgasm about to take over. you cum right on his dick, the creamy liquid spilling out of you and coating him so he could glide into you with ease. eren still has a bit to go, and while making an effort to cum, he only thrusts harder, causing you to cum yet again, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“ngh- oh fuck...” eren stammers, as he bottoms out into you, shooting thick ropes of cum into your hole.

you lay there panting, eyes almost shutting. but eren isn’t anywhere near done yet. his dick gardens yet again, and he continues to thrust.

“e-eren... please no more...” you gasp, trying to contain yourself as eren slammed into you again and again.

“no”, he says raspily. “you’ve been teasing me all fuckin’ week. you need to be punished for this.” his tip kisses your cervix, causing you to grimace. “turn over.”

you tried to move, but your legs were like jelly, unable to move after all the previous sensations you were feeling.

“dumb slut. let me help you.” eren places you on your tummy and re-aligns himself at your entrance, and jams his throbbing dick into you. your ribbed walls were clenching around him tightly, which only made him encouraged and want to go harder, deeper, if that was even possible.

your vision turned foggy upon your third orgasm, toes curling and all.

“ngh- aah!~” you whimper, feeling numb and helpless. something about eren using you as his own personal fuck toy made you seem to cum a little bit quicker than the last times you’ve had sex. maybe it was the control he had over you, the domination.

“oh, did my little whore cum for me again?” eren groans. “louder. i want this entire hallway to know exactly what we are doing in here. let them know how good i’m fucking you.”

eren gives a tug at your hair, making your head turn around and look him directly in the eye. he had a wicked sneer painted across his face. he purposely hits your sweet spot again, making a string of high pitched moans and whimpers fill the room, maybe even the whole hallway as eren instructed you to do.

your noises were the final straw that eren had. he quickly pulled out and flipped you over before jacking himself a few more times, and letting his cum splatter across your face and chest. your vision was so foggy at this point that everything was just a big cloud of white. as you regain your vision, you see eren laying over you, his brown hair messy and eyes filled with love.

“you’re not gonna just leave me like the others, right?” he questions you as he kisses your naked collarbone. you’re completely out of breath at this point, and all you can do is nod.

“good.” he grabs a towel that was sitting on your nightstand. “i hope you never leave me, to be honest.” he cleans up his release combined with sweat that was puddled on your body.

“n-never.” you stammer.

[caliginousarchitect]

A hypothetical (and tearful) reunion? I dream.

More of Tutezuku and Inkotute from @uselessmonsterboy fic because I just got whacked with the Inspiration out of nowhere.

Me, drawing and erasing and redrawing lines for 20 minutes: how does one hug with this anatomy, how does hugging with four arms work, aaaaaaAAA

also this Tutezuku is Chunkier than his current self because this is a hypothetical futureTutezuku who has actually been Eating Food and Sleeping Well under watchful Dadly Supervision

[in-nightmares]

@viviskull​ continued from here

WHACK! There goes the metal end of the flashlight slamming hard into the middle of Reverb’s skull. Would it be enough to draw some space out between the two of them in this foreign, cramped cave? At this point, being trapped alone here in this muddy cave would’ve done her better than bringing this nasty demon along.

“To bloody !@#$ I’m letting you take this thing!”  The blue dame snapped back.  “You can eat my food and sleep in my house for !@#$’s sake, BUT TOUCHING MY THINGS CROSSES THE LINE, PAL!”  With her flashlight clutched tightly in her hand, it seemed to flicker a little amongst the darkness that engulfed the two.  “It’s your fault we got stuck in this damn cavern for this !@#$ing mission!  If you still want to keep Arthur’s body for the life of you?”

“You better help with finding us a way out!”

He doesn’t have time to react before the end of aforementioned light is slammed into his head, causing the demon to give a sharp cry of pain that echoed in their current muddy prison. Hands covering the area he stumbles back a few steps, eyes shut tight as he reels from the unexpected attack.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Reverb demands through gritted teeth, glowing eyes snapping back open. “I can’t see with these stupid human eyes, even with my powers it can’t fully fix this flawed anatomy! I was trying to be nice for once! Besides, it’s just a stupid flashlight, you could get one anywhere!” The pain was still there, a fact reminded to him by Arthur’s whining in his head, but he’s quick to push it aside. “How is this my fault? I’m trying to help! Just— grr, just give me the damn light Yukino! I can’t be much help if I can’t see what we’re doing!” Reverb moves close to her again, this time reaching out to try and snatch the light by force.

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[agent-lapin]

Only good thing to come out of this is me remembering how much I love your old art too !!

thanks <33

looking back, theres some things i dont like about my old art - hence why its painful to look at her ripoffs, why do they have to copy all your mistakes too?? - but I still love every piece I’ve ever made, especially if it’s my ocs. Whack anatomy, shaky lines, obvious insecurities with weight, messy coloring, i still like it all because it’s my art and has my memories with it 

[onisiondrama]

Killstream w/ Onision 3/30/2020 - Summary Part 1

Re-Upload

(Unless specifically stated, everything written is from Greg / James’ words. Parenthesis are my notes/thoughts.):

Greg / James asks what the host’s relation to him online is. Host says none really. Host says he talked about Greg on stream a few times. (Host doesn’t introduce himself so Idk what to call him.)

Greg asks if host thought the Kombucha video was real. Host says no, they played it on the show. Greg says Hansen thought it was real. Says there is a video of Hansen at his house realizing it was all bullshit. (Why would he show up to your house if he thought those videos were real when the plot line had you divorced and homeless at that point?)

Greg says grooming is only when you get someone to do something illegal. Says someone on his discord told him that.

Sarah said her mom beat her, so they brought her in their home. She thought something was going to happen and Greg had to get in through her head it wasn’t. Kai was dating Billie. Sarah got so upset when she saw Kai and Billie kissing in a theater that Greg had to pull her aside and tell her she's part of the house, but not part of the relationship. He wanted her to still feel included, but know there’s no future for her.

When she found out nothing’s going to happen, she sent a text saying if Greg found out how she felt, she’d be kicked out. He says he only found out about this later on down the line. 

He was mean to her, like Meg Griffin. Someone jokes “treat them like dirt, they’ll stick to you like mud.” Everyone laughs, but Greg. He says no.

He says one time she asked him to c-m in her when she was 18 1/2, but he was upset because the relationship wasn’t supposed to be just himself and Sarah. He didn’t want to have babies with her. (He just jumped right into that. I swear I didn’t skip anything.)

She said she’s only going to sign an NDA if they fuck her. He can’t believe they were put in this situation.

Sarah was pushing so hard to get with Kai. It’s hard because she was constantly trying to “UwU” Kai and Billie left a gap when she left. Greg stopped treating Sarah like shit because she was an adult. She knows she have a chance now she’s an adult and has shown loyalty. He was trying to find someone to make Kai happy.

He told Sarah there was no potential for her to be with himself if Kai doesn’t want her. Greg says Sarah kept trying to kiss Kai and one day when she was 18 1/2, she planted a kiss. Kai jumps back and made a weird face. Sarah says “fuck”. (He’s skipping the part where he told Sarah to kiss Kai. He admitted to this in one of his 30+ rambling videos from January.) Someone asks if Sarah was thinking about that kiss since before she turned 18. Greg says he doesn’t know. (He just said before she wanted to be part of the relationship since she was 16. He even acknowledged this publicly back then.)

Kai tweets about Grey from Grey’s anatomy being hot and Sarah was upset, like Kai was cheating. Sarah and Kai have a falling out.

Ayalla comes out and says they groomed Sarah. At that point the only thing that happened was Sarah planted a kiss on Kai. Greg asks Sarah to make a video and to be honest. After he saw the video she made, he realized how much she liked Kai. She would say people that trashed Kai were terrible people.

He says Sarah tells them she was raped by a black man. Greg’s hero complex takes over and he wanted to help. She flew back out and she proposed an actual relationship.

Greg says he told Sarah when she was 17 he was shitty to her because he wanted her to stay away from him. Late 2018. They were more chill after that, but he didn’t want to explore the idea of a relationship until Kai approved. It was a mess because Kai didn’t feel like it was appropriate.

Greg says at this point she hadn’t lived with them for a while. She lived in her own state, had her own car, job, etc.

Greg hates that he works constantly and Kai doesn’t have someone to spend time with. (I hate this excuse so much. If that was the case why does he always get involved in the relationships?)

He says Sarah put her mouth on Kai’s genital region the first time. The second time, Sarah shoved her boob in Kai’s mouth. Kai said he tried not to vomit. Kai laid there and did nothing both times except kiss. (He’s not mentioning he was also part of these incidents.) Kai was upset and teary. It was horrible for Kai so it’s whack when people make fun of him for crying. He’s the one that suffered. Greg says it’s not going to work and Sarah went back to her life. 

He says there’s a leaked text of him arguing about virginity. He says he was talking about vaginal and mouth virginity. He says it was stupid. He told Kai he took her mouth virginity ? He felt bad for Sarah and was telling Kai he wasn’t being fair to her.

He comes up with idea where he can be with Sarah while Kai figured out if he wants to be part of the relationship. Sarah was cool with it and Kai told them 7 days only. If it doesn’t work out, they’ll all move on. They lasted 2 days. After the cum inside me thing, he couldn’t handle it.

They saw Aladdin together and she kept looking up at him like she wanted to make out. He was really irritated. She was guilt tripping him for not making out with him. This combined with the c-m thing, he realized Sarah doesn’t give a shit about Kai. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so desperate for his attention.

She accused him of using him for sex. He asks then why would he only be with her for 2 days when they had 5 more?

They weren’t allowed to have vaginal stuff. He weaseled around it by having his hand in front of his junk. Says if you give him an inch, he will find a way to manipulate it.

Greg says the only instance of anything underage was when he was with Kai when he was 17, but Kai was able to consent because of their state laws. (Shiloh was also 17.)

The police showed up with Shiloh because they thought they were making porn in their hotel room. He was just a Youtuber with a tripod. The police looked through his laptop and said he was fine. He thinks this Hansen doesn’t want to talk to him because Greg has a huge history of not breaking the law.

The host asks about the hand thing. (Greg goes into detail. I don’t want to write about that, sorry.)

Later on when Sarah was at the airport, she was crying saying she just wanted a boyfriend. He asks, if she just wanted a boyfriend, what the fuck was she doing? She didn’t have it through her head she would be dating two people. (I don’t understand this argument. They both would have been her boyfriend, no?)

Someone asks if Greg has time for a job with all this relationship stuff. Greg says he’s a Youtuber so he makes his own hours. (So he can make time for thirds, but not Kai?)

Greg says Sarah turned the relationship into being with one person instead of the other and tried to get pregnant.

When Sarah was at the house they’d hand out together, talk about memes, group wrestle. He would take them both on, but win every time.

Greg says he doesn’t want to be with anyone under 25 now. (What happened to his I only want to be with sex dolls plan? Does he have his eye on someone?)

Greg says he criticized people with BPD and Sarah lost her mind. Greg says he thought he had BPD before, but you have to be diagnosed. He says Sarah was diagnosed twice, but was underage. Her symptoms freaks her out. He asked her to give him a baby and she made a gremlin face while holing the baby.

Someone asks how she got the baby. He said she would help out a lot. He says before she was 18 she would do everything she can to win them over, but nothing was going to happen. He wasn’t interested in it because she was underage.

After he said he was done with stoners and people with BPD, she made a tell all livestream.

She blackmailed them into having sex with the NPA, so he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to talk publicly about it. The host asks about the blackmail. Greg says she told them she could destroy their lives. The host says he can’t imagine how. Greg says that’s why he didn’t take it seriously and it was a “ha ha” thing at the time. Greg says he had a Patreon member who visited and some of his friend sign an NDAs. He wished he made one with Cyr so they wouldn’t attack each other publicly. They could still be friends. That taught him to have his friends sign NDAs. The host makes fun of the NDAs and Greg says it’s common for celebrities to have people sign sex contracts to prove it was consensual in court.

When he asked Sarah to sign the NDA, she said only if she gets what she wants, implying sex. At the time he thought it was kinky. They warmed up to each other because everything that happened that day and the vibe was good. (Did he just admit it wasn’t blackmail then?)

Way down the line he slept in his garage because he was afraid she was going to kill him because people with BPD give off a certain vibe when you piss them off. They go from extreme love and hate.

Says he went through that with Shiloh a lot. She would have mental breakdowns and he would have to call the cops. She wouldn’t leave him alone in his room and body slammed the door. She kept bashing it open. It was hard for him to hold it closed because she was 180 lbs and 5′ 0″.