#an empty hug an empty kiss

[shaylogic]

Both of these moments happened in the midst of Charles struggling through his feelings of being unloved by his Dad.

Bonus:

[wannabemasterofwindintraining]

Touch repulsed man caught being physically affectionate

[altf4d3lete]

So erm… are we ready to talk about how similarly the kiss scene and the hug are filmed…? Or not yet 😇🙏

Edit: Also idk if this means anything but during the kiss there’s only really one or two perspectives. And it’s always one side of them. It only zooms up close on Wednesday’s reaction, not tyler’s. But in the hug, it focuses on both Wednesdays AND enids reaction. And then it focuses on the two of them together. So do with that information what you will

[doodling-panda]

who is takami keigo? ref !

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 05: together

If Steve was trembling before, he’s shaking like a leaf now — or it feels like he is, with his heart beating in his throat, his knees locked tight or they’d buckle and give out, and his hands clenched into the blanket, holding it around him like a shield.

But there is nothing in this world to shield him from Eddie. Maybe that’s why he’s shaking. Maybe that’s fifteen years of energy coursing through him, all coming down to this. 

He can hear the steps down the hall and he wants to close the door and hide forever. He wants to run out and meet Eddie halfway, he wants to stay right where he is and be found, wants to find for himself. 

And then there he is; the glorious vision that is Eddie Munson. Even in the dark, even when it’s only his silhouette visible to Steve, even when his hair looks flatter than he remembers. Steve’s breath hitches and his eyes fill with tears again, helpless against the onslaught of I missed you, I missed you, I missed you. 

It’s so strong, this tidal wave, replacing all the air in his lungs with lead and feathers alike — but either way, he cannot breathe. It hitches pathetically, and he knows he should move, knows he should say something, anything; but there are no words. None but those three. I missed you. I missed you. I miss you.  

They’re both just standing there, suspended in space and time and emotion together. 

But then Eddie moves, twitches his hand as if wanting to reach for Steve, but halts his motion, insecure if that’s allowed. Steve doesn’t know either. 

“Hi,” Eddie breathes after a while, and his voice is so gentle, so careful like he’s sure Steve is about to break. Or like he himself is about to break, and he doesn’t dare move, lest the universe catches up on it. 

“Hey,” Steve whispers, tugging the blanket tighter around his shoulders. 

They still don’t move, time has not yet kicked back into motion, allowing them a drawn out moment of trying, trying, trying not to fall apart. 

“I missed you,” Eddie says. And Steve whimpers. The moment is broken, his knees are no longer locked, but instead of falling to the ground like he half expected, he stumbles forward to pull Eddie into a hug. Strong, warm arms wrap around him instantly, holding him tighter than they ever have before. Eddie’s never held him like this. 

But Eddie has never lost him either. 

The thought of that, of what they’ve done, what they’ve gone through, makes Steve blink away more tears as he buries his face in Eddie’s neck. 

“I missed you, too.” He sniffles. “So much. I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Stevie. I’m sorry.” 

You have nothing to be sorry for, Steve wants to say. You’re just happy. You deserve to be happy. 

He doesn’t say anything, though, just stays right where he is, hugging Eddie. Holding him as if he would slip through his arms and out of his life if he let go. And he would. But Steve’s not ready for that, not yet, not ever. So he holds him. Holds him even as Eddie slowly walks them into the apartment, closing the door behind himself with one arm, the other still around Steve, and then leans back against it. 

So they don’t have to keep themselves and each other upright. So they can just be two boys hugging. And crying. Because Eddie’s breath is uneven against Steve’s hair, and they’re both crying softly, quietly, as Eddie’s hand strokes through Steve’s hair. 

“I missed you,” he says again, and Steve holds him tighter, nods into his neck, biting his lips so he doesn’t spill any more truths between them. 

Steve doesn’t know how long they stand there, doesn’t know if time is back at work around them, if the world is spinning again. All he knows is that he would fall if he let go. All he knows is that he’s already falling. 

But at some point there are no quiet tears left and he’s not shaking as much anymore, his head a little clearer, aware that Eddie is humming some nonsense melody in that same way he always used to when Steve just needed a good hug and a cry. 

I love you, he almost says. It’s on his tongue, and for a moment he wonders if he did say it, haze and reality too closely linked, leaving him floating and reeling and aching. 

When he eventually pulls away from Eddie’s embrace, he can feel those pretty, brown eyes on him even if it’s too dark to see them; and Steve looks back. They both sigh a little, unalterably in sync with one another, and Steve smiles a little. But now that reality is back, so are the past few months. So is the engagement. And so is the fact that there’s no way to solve this but to go their separate ways, at least for a while. 

A pit replaces his heart once more, sucking all the tenderness out of this moment and leaving him brittle and breaking once more, vulnerable to Eddie’s touch, his smiles, his everything. Vulnerable to the world with or without Eddie. 

“Can we talk?” Eddie says after a while, his voice sounding just as small and insecure as Steve feels, and it’s wrong, it’s so wrong, they don’t sound like that around each other. They don’t feel like that, they don’t talk like that, they don’t — God, when did it all go so wrong?  

“Yeah.” Steve nods, stepping away from Eddie and heading towards the couch. 

Eddie joins him, taking a seat on the other end of the couch, so far away yet somehow still too close, and all Steve wants to do is reach out and pull him closer. He squeezes his eyes shut and massages his temples, like it would get rid of the bone-deep, physical yearning that has taken over his body. 

“Why were you around?” he asks lamely after Eddie doesn’t make any move to talk first. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Eddie said. “I don’t know if… I mean, yeah, obviously you got my call. Uh. I couldn’t sleep so I just walked around. And then you called.” 

“And then I called.” 

Eddie nods. Steve figures that he should have gone and turned on the light, but maybe it’s good that they can’t read each other. Maybe it’s good that they don’t have to look at each other for this. 

Silence falls, and Steve wonders for a brief, panic-filled second if they’ve forgotten how to talk to each other. If silence is all there ever will be again. 

But then Eddie, glorious, wonderful, brave Eddie scoots closer on the couch. “Turn around?” 

And it’s muscle memory to listen to Eddie, to do as he requests, especially when he asks like that. With that hopeful little voice. 

I love you. 

Steve turns, gasping a little when there’s warmth against his back and Eddie’s head resting against his. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice gone with how close and how warm Eddie is. 

He can feel Eddie shrug against his back. “Changing the world.” 

And then there they sit, their backs leaning against each other, their heads resting together. And Steve can breathe again. 

“I just have to tell you something. But… If I’m already losing you, it won’t make a difference. If you hate me or something, you—“

“Eds—“ 

“No, Stevie. Uh, please listen? I just, I need you to know. To understand, at least this one thing. Think I’ll explode if I don’t tell you.” He laughs a little, but it’s more a sign of his nerves than anything else. 

Steve breathes a little, “Okay,” filling the silence with a permission, a promise, a question. A little word that could make him or break him. 

Eddie’s hand comes searching beside him, and with that same muscle memory, Steve reaches out and takes it, linking their fingers together and feeling one puzzle piece of a world that has fallen apart settling back into place. Eddie’s hand in his. Holding on. 

“Okay,” Eddie breathes right back, building a bubble for them in which they can just be themselves and whisper little okays like promises. A bubble in which they can hold hands and sit together and rest, just for a second. Even though they’re both still trembling, their hearts still racing, their voices still breaking. “Okay. Here goes nothing.” 

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript@hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar

(sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3) and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷

come back tomorrow/later for true & misunderstandings | read part 6 here

[wlw-cryptid]

do you guys think if i go to the rodeo ill be able to find a cowboy butch wholl let me suck on his fingers n call me a good girl

[meownotgood]

the dream I had of aki was so weirdly vivid... it felt seriously real......

[hektor-world]

Good night

[tiredassmage]

he is having a Time. a bad one.

[asacrificialparsnip]

When you're poly and ace and it's like, I've got two hands but I don't fuck.

[rintoki]

please never stop talking about kaveh /gen 🫶🏻🩷🫂

OK IF YOU SAY SO HHEEHEHEHEHEHBDEH

I LORVVEEE AND MISSSS UUUUUU 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

LOOK AT HEEEEEMMMM

SOBBINBBBGTTTT HES JUST A LIL GUYEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

BLORBEST BLORBO HES SOOOO SQUISHYYYY

[astersofthesky]

this is too good to be hidden in the tags

something about light being so in love with L but only realising it after L's death makes me feel so miserable

[saturnaous]

man I'd probably be more focused on collecting pop tabs if I knew where the hell my hug collection went ? I have my kisses and my sex in the upper area of my desk but I haven't a damn clue where my hugs went. I msis them thangs. I had quite a few.

[rxttingawayy]

last month my grandpa died, the last few weeks my grandma has been on her death bed, and tonight my mom tried to OD on sleeping pills so shes in the pysch ward.

i am so fucking tired

[someone-used-to-be-here]

You're still here

[cheese-ception]

okay, but listen

hampter > pain, grief and terrors

I wholeheartedly support this

how could I not 🥹

nothing going on up there... bless his heart