#it felt like it was really happening with aki

[meownotgood]

I had a dream aki hugged me, it was really nice

[iridescentscarecrow]

rambling post but wow. really fun dynamic to the yoru-asa switch this time. yoru blushing, typecast as a girl in love. "you're cute when you cry" completely at odds with denji's strangled grief.

yoru's attempted commiseration with denji's frustration: "i felt hopeless too. lost people who were like family to me." the family she's lost that we're privy to from previous chapters, the gun & the tank, her children whom she propertises & claims the life of. the claiming statement being one that asa reacts to with horror. it's so interesting how she mourns her family, almost horrifically laughable how she turns to denji & tells him about how he'll get over it. just like she did!

asa using the same trick she did in 167 at this point, harming her own body to force yoru out. the commiseration differs so startlingly here. denji's initial statement was: "i'm hopeless" — attaching his frustration with himself to the statement, faulting himself for what happened. yoru's "i felt hopeless" cuts away yoru's own self so neatly. fairly certain these are her children she's referring to — since the sisters are the horsemen, & even if she doesn't particularly mean gun & tank, these are the same children whose lives she thinks she owns. there's a charming earnestness to yoru here.

asa, meanwhile, tells denji about how she blames herself for the death of her family. her mother.

there's no way she can get over that.

grief & past traumas lingering in your tastebuds (see: the falling devil), eased by the crapburger that the chainsaw man describes to asa & that asa describes back to denji in turn... eating, tied to this. both living on & feeling, the toast with too much jam denji tells pochita about, miri's steak, the crapburgers, the fish. eating, too, a manner of digesting grief. denji fills up his stomach with his traumas, the dishes that falling prepares (the shadow of aki & power denji briefly remembers in those chapters hinting at <this>), makima in the apartment kitchen, nayuta on the conveyor belt. pochita unhinges his jaw & swallows up this past, the snow devil, makima's mouth, and all that bitterness for denji. and the boy's stomach can't keep it all in, barem stuffed denji up in the restaurant. it comes out as vomit.

[cursingtoji]

I'm crying these cliches are so cute!! I think Denji with kissing under the rain + wet transparent shirt (he'd totally stare) + taking care of him while sick, would be very cute!!

𝑾𝒆𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕 ✧ 𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏 ✧ 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒎 ┊the perfect combo so far?? thank so much for joining 🧡 The Clichés ™

Denji stood outside the Public Safety building where you were supposed to meet him for a mission assigned by your superiors, Denji was totally fine by your delay, it gave him time to psychologically prepare for being alone with his crush.

The forecast said it would rain but Tokyo was under a downpour since morning.

“Denji!” you came running and waving, no umbrella, nothing to cover you except your own hand above your forehead so you could see your path.

Denji waved back but he froze when you got closer and he could see how the white shirt of your uniform was glued to your skin, precisely to your boobs and the way it bounced with your seemly simple pink bra as you jogged in his direction. Did he just die? Are you an angel?

He could hear your voice and something about having your umbrella stolen when you went to a public bathroom, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off your chest, it looked to soft and he wondered what would be like laying down on them.

“…Denji?” you snapped your fingers on his face, “What’s wrong?”

Denji limited himself to just point down at your chest.

“Oh, good thing I’m wearing a bra today” you whispered like a secret and Denji felt steam was about to blow out of his ears like a cartoon, “Let’s go, there’s a convenient store on the other side of the avenue, we just need to cross that bridge. You’re okay with taking some rain, right Denji?” you laced your arm with his and he gasped feeling your plump chest against his arm.

Teasing Denji was very fun, but when you were in the middle of the uncovered bridge drenched to the skin and spotted your superior Kishibe coming from the opposite side you dropped your act.

“Uhm Denji? Maybe we should go back…” you crossed your arms to cover your chest.

Denji got confused at your sudden behaviour change and then he spotted the old man approaching under his umbrella while the two of you looked like abandoned dogs. Denji had more than just hots for you, and that meant he wanted to protect you from embarrassment, so he quickly moved to be in front of you, shielding your body.

“You kids are going to get sick” Kishibe declared looking down at the two of you.

“Her umbrella was stolen” Denji explained and you looked at your superior from above Denji’s shoulder.

“In the metro station toilet” you added.

“What about you, Denji?” Kishibe asked.

“I never had one, I usually just put a jacket on my head” the young boy confessed without any embarrassment scratching his neck.

“Gosh, here” Kishibe pulled his wallet and a thousand yen bill of it handing it to Denji, “Buy yourselves an umbrella and a warm drink” he resumed his path as you thanked him and watched as he disappeared on the corner.

“Hey, wanna buy fried chicken instead?” Denji held the sides of the bill excited, “Oh it’s getting wet” he noticed and put away in his pocket.

You were still at a lost of words for how quick the blond was to read the situation and protect your honour, so you didn’t hesitate in pulling him down by his tie and lock lips.

Denji only realized what was happening when your warm wet lips were already pressing on his cold ones. The rain keep falling around you as you nibbled on his bottom lip.

“Thank you, Denji, you’re really sweet” you whispered with the tips of your noses touching, Denji slowly opened his eyes noticing the droplets sitting on your eyelashes, “Let’s get fried chicken… and a coffee, you could use it” you took his hand holding it in hopes to warm it up a bit.

Maybe he did die and this was what heaven was like.

“We have a problem” Aki said when you answered his call. Twenty minutes later you were in his apartment knocking and asking if everyone was okay since he didn’t give you much information. “He’s your problem now, there’s medicine in the bathroom cabinet” Aki opened the door in his uniform already leaving for work as Power followed him.

“I made soup” she informed.

“That’s boiled egg water, please throw it away” Aki yelled climbing down the stairs.

“Denji?” you called softly finding him in the couch with a heavy blanket and a very red nose.

“I’m dying, help” he mumbled and you leaned to touch his forehead.

“Oh my god, you’re burning” you squatted to be on his eye level, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you walk on the rain with me that day.”

“It was worth it” he admitted with a nasal voice due to his stuffed nose.

“Come on, let’s remove those blankets before you combust” you started to pull but he held to them whining about feeling cold, “You had the fever meds yet?” he nodded, “Then how about that: you lose the blankets and I let you lay down on my chest.” Denji pretended to think, but in reality it took him less than two seconds to kick out his blankets.

“Totally worth it” he murmured having his hair played with on top of the softest pillow ever.

See also: Sexual Tension — Aki 🔞

[dietcokegirly12]

“His Advent Calender !”

KINKMAS DECEMBER 7TH

synopsis: when you tease aki by using a naughty advent calendar, with the promise of letting him fuck you raw, what happens next..?

word count: 2.7k

tags: teasing, slight edging, unprotected sex, mention of daddy, size difference, spanking, grinding, etc etc

art creds: @ndsoda and @ste

꒰ა ˚₊ ・┈・☃︎ ⟡₊⊹ˎˊ˗・┈・₊˚໒꒱・┈・☃︎ ⟡₊⊹ˎˊ˗・┈

“what’s that, baby?” your clingy boyfriend, aki nuzzles into your neck from behind, hand curling around your waist as he looks at the chunky package in your hands, topped off with a little bow, white ribbons curling.

you smile. “an advent calendar.”

today was december first, the first of twenty-four slots to be opened daily, and the tradition was to usually have a little sweet or trinket awaiting you, but this one was different.

no, rather than having anything like that, it held twenty four days of panties.

lace, thongs, g-strings, boy shorts, mesh, see-throughs, ones with suggestive phrases, any kind imaginable, they were in there.

and you were going to tease him relentlessly with it for the next twenty four days. he really had no idea the amount of trouble he was in for.

he furrows his eyebrows, gruff voice huffing softly in your ear. “hmm, why’s it so big?”

your grin widens as you hold it out to him. “why don’tcha open it and find out?”

he takes it from you gingerly, turning it over in his hands, inspecting it with a sense of curiosity. “the first?”

as you nod, his large palms slide over the smooth, glossed front, before finding the window corresponding to the date, opening the little cardboard flap.

and all he can do is gape, as a green, lacy thong flutters out, bedazzled in silver glimmering rhinestones, and lands on the floor.

immediately his eyes are focused back on you. “did you..”

without waiting, you pick up the pair, and with one swift tug on your baggy, drawstring sweatpants, they fall down, exposing you to him, as you slip them on.

“like ‘em?” you wink, turning around for the full effect, your plump ass on full display for him to ogle at.

“i..” he reaches to squeeze your ass cheek gently, leaning in for more, and you can already see a tent beginning to form in his pants.

“ah ah..” you swat his hand away, turning back to smirk at him gleefully. “you can look but no touching. not until christmas, at least.”

his mouth drops, and his head lolls to the side as he studies you with a look akin to disbelief.

“that’s the challenge! twenty-four days of teasing..” you bounce around happily, much to his displeasure as his hands reach for you again.

“twenty four days of torture..” he muses with a groan, feeling your plush tummy, his hand weakly trying to slide lower, only being stopped as you pull back.

“no touching!” you whine, watching as the bulge in his pants fills with life, straining further against its confines.

this was going to be hard.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ ⋆⁺₊❅. ꒱┈• ｡ﾟ┈꒰ ⋆⁺₊❅. ꒱┈• ｡ﾟ┈꒰ ⋆⁺₊❅. ꒱┈•

the next day, you get adorably striped boyshorts. the day after, red candy-cane patterned see-through ones. the next, a pretty red ribboned one with a little bow. after that, a cheeky little g-string.

and every day, aki becomes more and more flustered and needy than the previous. almost to the point, he was borderline pathetic.

now, aki was no weak crybaby of a man. he could hunt devils as well as anyone, and his masculinity and leadership abilities left him dominant. most of the time. until it came to you.

after constantly being firm and commanding toward everyone, always on the hunt and ready to attack, you were the first person he ever felt truly comfortable with. around you, he was weak.

and oh was he weak for you right now.

“c’monnn jus’ one taste.” he’s lying on his stomach in between your legs, spreading your thighs apart with his large palms, and staring up at you with big, pleading eyes.

“akiii..” you purr, backing up. “remember the challenge rules..”

he moves back grumpily, his voice slightly gruffer than before. “yeah, what’s the point? there’s not a reward..”

you let out a mock gasp. “oh, did i not tell you?”

his face immediately perks up as he gazes at you like an eager puppy, an imaginary tail wagging behind him. “no, tell me what?”

“if you do manage to last the whole twenty-four days, at the end of december, on christmas your present is… you get to cum inside. raw.”

his mouth dries, cock immediately hardening painfully in his pants, heartbeat thumping erratically. he had never.. come inside you before, or anyone else for that matter. even though you took birth control, you never wanted to risk it, saying it was better to use a condom, and pull out to be safe rather than sorry.

but now. all bets were off. he was getting that reward, whether it took every ounce of strength in his body, which it probably would.

you arch your back slightly as you gaze down at him, swaying your plump ass side to side teasingly. “so.. it’s in your best interest to last.”

he growls, roughly grabbing you and throwing you down on the couch, your squeals filling the air as he lands a sharp, stinging smack! to your left ass cheek. “sweetheart, you need to stop that or i’m not going to be able to last.”

you flip back over with a huff, pouty. “not my fault you don’t have control of yourself..” you say petulantly, as you reach to loop your arms around his neck.

he sighs softly, burying his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your warm familiar scent. “you’re right..” gently, he begins to place kisses up, lips brushing ticklishly across you.

you giggle softly, opening your legs to him, his eyes immediately drifting downward. “naughty girl..” his deep murmur rumbles in your eye as he leans closer to press a kiss to the side of your jaw.

you let out a small hum of pleasure, and he leans closer to deepen it, his hardness pressing against your leg insistently now, almost throbbing with heated need.

before he can move any closer though, you push him away, closing your legs again, and unable to stop the smug grin that spreads across your face at the flash of feralness in his eyes at being pushed away yet again.

before he can speak however, you turn around and walk away, your curves accentuated by the green pair of cheeky lace boyshorts you had on underneath one of his baggy t-shirts.

“it’s only the sixth, aki.”

. . .

over the next few weeks, aki’s need for you becomes brutal, almost overpowering in its entirety.

he’s always pressed up next to you, his chest to your back, or touching you in some way.

and he’s always hard. always.

so much so that it looks like it hurts, pants always stretched too tight from the massive bulge he’s packing.

occasionally, you’ll stretch or shift next to him, rubbing on his cock slightly, and you’ll feel him stiffen, his breathing almost stopping entirely.

but it was only until christmas eve, when he snapped.

it had happened to be freezing, temperature dropping below thirty degrees, and the heater just wasn’t enough.

you nestle your shivering body beside your warm boyfriend, practically radiating heat in his baggy shirt and sweatpants, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the christmas movie you two had put on to set the mood.

snuggling as close as you can to him, you nose your face into him, clutching tightly as you try to absorb some of his warmth.

“babeee.. it’s so cold.” you whine, pressing closer, as if you were trying to mold yourself to his skin.

he jerks forward ever so slightly, and you can tell that how close you were was beginning to have an effect on him. “yeah, i turned on the heater, it should kick in soon..” his voice is raspy, slightly deep as he tries to maintain a subtle tone.

you nod, snuggling closer and trying to warm yourself up by rubbing along his chest and abdominals.

he groans slightly, trying to nudge you off him, adjusting himself in his manspread form on the couch.

“aki.. hold me..” you protest, immediately jumping into his lap at his reluctance to touch you.

“honey.. don’t..” his head falls back and eyes squeeze shut tightly as you move, getting comfortable, draping yourself atop him, clad in your new, naughtiest underwear yet, a cute little thong with the words, “daddy” stitched on the back and pretty lace up the sides.

to make things worse, you were not wearing a bra underneath your baggy t-shirt, and the tips of your nipples were poking through, brushing against him slightly.

and then, you grind. it’s a very subtle movement, barely noticeable, only perceptible to aki, whose senses were already heightened from being deprived of you for so long. your clothed cunt drags along him as you pretend to fix your hair, before curling back up on his chest, only turning to gaze up at him innocently when he inhales sharply.

but before you can even speak, he has you pinned under him in a blink, ferocious eyes gazing down upon you.

“i.. told.. you.. to stop that!” his weight crushes your chest as he presses on you fully, but before you can get him off of you, his lips come to crash against yours in a messy, uncoordinated kiss.

he’s kissing you with a kind of feral desperation only a starved man can capture, pulling and pushing against your lips, with hands coming to spread your thighs wider, nestling his bulge snugly in between.

you gasp, but are quickly cut off by the forcefulness of his tongue being shoved roughly into your mouth, neediness clear in the way he reaches down to grab your ass, squeezing roughly as a guttural grunt tears out of his throat.

“been teasing me s’long.. where’s y’er smart mouth now?” he groans as his hands slide up, up, up feeling every inch of skin he can reach.

you can only whimper in response as his hands move from groping your ass to your inner thighs, kneading and tracing gently, so close to the heat pooling in between them.

he pulls up your shirt to reveal your bare breasts, quickly licking and sucking on them, eyes closing in bliss as he humps against you.

“aki!” you moan, trying to pull his drooling mouth off your tender breast, nipple perking and hardening in his mouth, as you whine to get him to focus on your throbbing cunt.

his rutting into you turns particularly harsh at your cry of his name, already beginning to shove down his sweatpants as his voice comes out in a rough, gravelly groan. “what time is it?”

you’re so distracted, so lost in pleasure already, it takes you a moment to realize what he said. “h-huh?”

he reaches across you to flip over the clock resting on the coffee table by the couch.

11:59 pm.

christmas eve.

and in front of your very eyes, it flashes, red numbers illuminating you two.

12:00 am.

he turns to you, voice hoarse. "y-you said.."

rolling your eyes, you pull him down on top of you, nose-to-nose. "i know what i said aki, just fuck me, yeah?"

his sweatpants are already around his ankles, hard bulging cock pressed against your plush tummy, trickling precum, and forehead pressed to yours before you can even finish your sentence.

“you don’t know.. hah.. what y’er asking, sweetheart.” he groans out, before pushing his hips into you further, dick nestling into your quickly drenched panties, arousal starting to seep through stickily.

you moan, when he presses his entire face into your heaving breasts, licking sloppily and leaving trails of saliva pooling behind.

“now turn around, and lemme see those cute little panties you’ve been so eager to flaunt in my face, hm?”

you shiver at his voice, obeying as you get on all fours and turn around for him, practically feeling the burn of his eyes on your ass.

“ohh..” he purrs out, as he reads, your face flushing. “daddy huh?”

you squirm slightly, trying to squeeze your thighs together as you feel more slick pooling between you. “akiii..” you whine, swaying side to side, your ass just begging to be spanked.

“i know, baby..” no matter how much he wants to tease and make you beg after taunting him for so long, he’s just as desperate as you, and is already pulling your tiny thong to the side to line himself up, rubbing his thick, bludgeony tip along your sopping folds, both of you moaning in unison.

“you.. hah.. r-ready to feel me raw?” he pants out, already beginning to slide himself inside you.

your back arches, pushing back onto him to take more as you nod and whimper mindlessly.

he grunts, while filling you with more of his thick inches. now, without the condom, you’re able to feel every vein, every ridge, and every pulse. you swear you’re in nirvana with the way your pussy wraps and molds around his girth perfectly.

and he’s going so slow, and though you think he must be teasing you, what’s really happening is he’s already about to cum, from just being in you without a barrier for the first time.

you begin to push your ass back and forth impatiently, your pussy swallowing all of him in greedy little thrusts.

he moans, head tipping back as his hands pull at your hips, guiding you as the rough sound of skin on skin echoes, wet squelching ensuing.

you go faster, unused to the feel of his veiny cock plunging into you raw, and unable to get enough as you whimper and moan at the pleasurable stretch.

“oh.. baby.. s-slow down or m’gonna cum..” he groans from behind, hands weakly gripping onto your waist in an effort to set a more deliberate, steady pace.

you can’t help yourself though, grinding your perky ass back on him over and over again, tits bouncing as you move faster and faster.

aki groans, his whole body shuddering behind you, as he holds on to the last shred of his sanity, dick pulsating deep inside you.

you’ve never felt anything as good as this before, his tip scraping your cervix brutally, and all of his rough inches filling you to the very brim, your pussy stretched obscenely around him.

every throb is magnified and has you seeing more and more stars as the seconds pass. hefty balls smack against your ass, and your eyes roll back from the sheer pleasure of it all.

in fact, you’re so distracted you don’t notice your orgasm creeping closer and closer until it hits you all at once, your entire body seizing and twitching in spasms as your entire vision goes white, coming so hard you would’ve fallen forward if it weren’t for aki’s bruising grip on your hips.

in fact you’re cumming so hard, you don’t realize you’re squirting, until aki’s gasping, staring down at the glistening sheen that pours between your thighs, and coats his cock in your syrupy slick.

his eyes roll back in his head at the sight, and then he’s cumming too, pumping load after load of ribbony white seed, pulsing deep into your walls until you’re so full, you feel like you could burst.

“aki! s’too much..” you moan, legs quivering and eyes watering from the sheer stretch combined with everything he’s pumping you with.

“m’sorry! can’t stop.. ah.. fuck!” aki’s breathy, ragged voice can barely pierce through the haze swirling in your head as spurts continue to forcefully pulse into you, your fluttering cunt betraying you by sucking him further and milking him for every drop eagerly.

he quickly flips you over, burying his face in your neck with his cock starting to shoot blanks, mouthing small kisses along your collarbone.

you squirm underneath him, moaning as your bloated, cum-filled tummy is squished under him.

he notices, and leans back to peer down at your drooling, fucked-out expression.

“poor baby..” he coos, large hands coming down to press on your lower stomach.

instantly, creamy white seeps out of you, oozing and trickling to form a puddle below you, aki’s dilated pupils focusing on you completely as he breathes heavily. “can’t even take me raw after all that talk..”

he chuckles softly, before plunging his cock back all the way inside you again, plush walls cushioning and fitting around him snugly. “guess you’re just gonna hafta learn. because we’re not even close to done yet, sweetheart.”

tagslist (ask to be tagged!): @ghostedwriting @amanoava @fluffyfrog1619 @newnlovesjennie @b0n3s-is-gay @kyoukas-tofuxx @sakui1

[bakugoyelling]

We Can Take Things Slow

Aki Hayakawa x Fem! Reader 

Warnings: (minors dni) 18+ smut, virgin! reader, fluff, fingering, praise

Word Count: 5.1 K

Summary: What started as a crush has bloomed into a full-on relationship, and for the first time in your life, you're ready to do more than kiss.

Out of all people, you would have never thought that he would be your boyfriend; the first time he came in, you had to force yourself to stop staring. You had only worked at the local grocery store for about six months, and while you had seen attractive people come in to shop before, you had never seen a man as handsome as him.

He was tall — with blue eyes and black hair, the dark tresses often tied atop his head. His topknot hairstyle actually made your lips quirk up into a smile the first time you saw him. The ponytail was just so small and, for lack of a better word, cute.

He didn’t go to your register that day, and although slightly disappointed, you were glad. Just looking his way made your heart rate speed up. Who knows how you would have embarrassed yourself if you had to talk to him.

The next time you saw him, he walked in with — what you assumed to be — his friends, a guy and a girl who appeared to be rather rambunctious, one rolling in on a shopping cart while the other tossed boxes of snack cakes into it. Or maybe, they’re roommates; you thought as they walked past, watching them head down the aisle as you scanned a carton of milk. You wondered if he liked milk.

He didn’t go to your register that time either — well, he almost did, but he pivoted this shopping cart at the last second and headed a lane over, even though your current customer had just checked out. He must really like waiting in line.

And every time after that, he did the same, always with that boisterous duo; he never went to you. It was such a regular occurrence you no longer felt nervous when he came in.

But at least you still got to admire him. Sure, he might be avoiding you, but he was still pretty. Handsome, just like the first time you ever saw him. Plus, there was no harm in looking at him, right? A girl’s allowed to have a crush.

Then one evening, he came in alone. Dressed in a short-sleeved button-down, he spent most of his time in the produce section, picking out fruits and vegetables before disappearing between the aisles, where you didn’t see him again until he emerged at the check-out line — your check-out line.

Placing his groceries on the conveyor belt, you stood in disbelief, the nerves you thought you had long forgotten returning.

“Hello,” with a nod, the man greeted you, his eyes looking into yours as your cheeks grew warm.

“Hi! Did you find everything okay today?”

Overly peppy, you continued, tapping a button on the cash register before you began scanning his items, trying your best to appear calm.

“I did,” he said.

For a second, your eyes met as you glanced up at him, nodding in approval as you kept scanning.

The silence that followed was awkward. Well, it was for you, at least. Time seemed to slow while you worked, and halfway through, attempting to ease the feeling, you commented on his choice of milk — your face filling with a heavy heat as soon as the phrase left your lips.

“Mmm, oat milk,”

You’re not sure what response you were expecting, but all he did was exhale an amused huff and nod at you, taking out his wallet as he prepared to pay.

Great, he totally thinks you’re weird now, you thought. The next time he comes in, he’ll definitely go back to avoiding you.

Plus, surely he’s already got a girlfriend, right? Now that you’ve seen him up close, it’s proven just how attractive he is. Maybe next time he’ll come in with her. Maybe, you’ll even get to see them kiss.

But that never happened because he didn’t have a girlfriend. He either came in with his two friends or alone. And while he didn’t always go to your line, he frequented it more often. Over time, you even got less nervous when he appeared, and your interactions grew less stiff. You even learned his name — Aki. The two syllables felt like a dream leaving your lips. Along the line, you even found out about his profession. He was a devil hunter. Not uncommon, but dangerous. You’d known people who had joined Public Safety before, and although things didn't usually end well for them, you had to stop yourself from thinking of all the terrible possibilities this could mean. At least, this explained the formal clothing he sometimes wore.

Even your coworkers started noticing that things were different. Every time Aki came in, they’d tease you, asking things like, “So, when’s the wedding?” and “Have you hooked up yet?” Their questions were lighthearted, but you refused to answer — it was fun talking about the man you admired, but they didn’t need to know everything.

That is until, months later, after a series of secret rendezvous, one of them had seen you and Aki outside of work — at a table for two at a local restaurant, where he asked for a taste of your food, and you giggled, leaning in with a pair of chopsticks to fed him. But the light kiss that followed was what really caught their attention.

So the next day, your closest work buddies threw a lunchroom celebration, where despite their playful banter, they made sure to share how happy they were for you. Your oldest friend, who’s twice your age, even mentioned that she “Could tell he was a sweet one” and “Always knew he had a crush on you,”

Her words were the highlight of your day.

Sometimes you still can’t believe you're really with him. The two of you are similar in some ways. But in a lot of ways, you aren’t. Aki smokes, and you don’t — but that’s good, he tells you. Aki enjoys drinking beer, but you’ve never liked the taste. So you sip on water most of the time. But that’s great too, he says. In fact, he should be more like you, he insists. Aki has been in a relationship before. He’s had sex — shared his naked body with someone other than himself — And you haven’t. Not even close. All you’ve done is kiss. But you haven’t told him that.

And while you shouldn't feel shame for such a thing, you do. Like when you go to his apartment and spend the night eating cereal together, honey-flavored grains swimming in oat milk.

“Hey, let’s do the crossword puzzle on the back,” you say, dipping your spoon in for another bite.

If this were a different cereal box, the game on the back would probably already be done. However, lucky for you, Power and Denji — Aki’s roommates that you met sometime back at the grocery store — keep their hands off his boxes of “grandpa food,”

Grabbing a pen, Aki hands it to you, looking on as you begin to fill out the small square boxes, lifting a finger every so often so he can point out an answer. And when the puzzle is complete — and your bowls are empty, he washes them as you get ready for bed, changing into your pajamas to wait for him in the bedroom.

Being alone with him in here makes your heart race sometimes. Although the only thing the two of you have done in here is kiss, you can’t help but think of what will happen when you tell him that's all you've ever done.

It’s only happened once before, but one time things got heated. Clearly more experienced than you, Aki's kisses grew fervent, his lips moving against yours with ease. Like the love interest in a romance movie, he moved with such seduction, his tongue brushing against your bottom lip as his hands grazed the skin beneath your shirt. Your body grew hot, and for a second, you thought of letting him undress you, but instead, you gently pulled away — kissing one last time before you left to get a cup of water.

The memory makes you feel bad in a way. You should have just told him then, explained to Aki how you didn’t push him away because of what he did, but instead because you’re a nervous virgin. Or maybe you should tell him tonight — get it over with and…

“Did you already brush your teeth?”

But his question breaks you from the idea, and as you shake your head in response, you decide, maybe next time. Besides, brushing your teeth is more important anyway.

Four weeks later, you find yourself facing the decision again.

Your relationship with Aki has even reached a new milestone — you’ve said you love him. And with the faintest blush, Aki has said he loves you too.

In fact, he said it just moments ago before you kissed him — before you straddled him on his bed and began tasting his tongue. Slowly getting comfortable, you’ve started taking the lead with things like this now. It’s fun and exciting, yet, the idea of going further still makes you nervous.

It’s not like you don’t want to go further. You do, but you’re scared. Afraid that once you tell Aki, things won’t be the same, the flame will fizzle out, and he’ll leave you. Or even worse, he’ll use you for sex, and that’ll be the end of it — a cherry-popping dream come true.

“Hey, you okay?”

Caught on to how you’ve stopped and pulled away, he questions you, studying your expression as you refuse to make eye contact.

“Aki…” you mutter his name in quiet guilt, shifting about as you decide to rip off the proverbial band-aid, your heart pounding in your chest as you timidly confess, “I’m a virgin,”

“Huh?” caught off guard, his brows pull together as you remove yourself from his lap, your eyes growing glossy as panic sets in. If he laughs right now, then it’s over.

“I’ve never done anything, okay?” you hush, wiping away at your cheek.

You'll tell everyone at work that he's a jerk.

But Aki doesn't laugh. He doesn't chuckle; he doesn't even smirk. Instead, Aki thinks. He acknowledges your reactions — figures this information must have been weighing down on you for a while, and from what he can tell, you must be worried right now. And while to him, it’s no big deal, to you, it is. So in respect of your feelings, he does what he can to comfort you.

“That’s okay,” he gently speaks. “That doesn't change how I see you,” Hoping he’s not making things worse, he continues.

“Did you think it would?”

Peering up through dampened lashes, you nod. It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. Before you got into a relationship with Aki, your lack of sex was never an issue — other than the fact that you’ve never been with another person, you did plenty of sexual exploring on your own. You’ve done things that not even your friends in two-year relationships had done, knew kinks by name, and even told them what kind of toys to bring into the bedroom. You know your body, and you know what you like. You’ve just never had anyone to share it with. Being vulnerable in such a way can be scary. And while no, you don’t have to say anything about it, you feel it’s best that you do.

“That’s why I wanted to tell you…before things went any further. I just need you to know. So, we can take things slow, okay?”

Shifting closer, Aki nods before wrapping his arms around you in a comforting hug, holding the back of your head as you press yourself against him, the scent of soap heavy on his skin.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” he whispers. “I don’t mind taking things slow,”

In his arms, you continue to listen, his acceptance putting you at ease.

“We don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. Until you want to, alright?

In response, you nod, silently agreeing before you pull back, peering up at Aki as you wipe your eyes. 

“What if I only ever want to hold hands?” you mumble.

“Then we’ll only hold hands...and I’ll still love you,” smiling down, he assures you.

Aki only wants to make you happy, and although he can’t guarantee he'll never make you sad or worried, he can promise to never make you uncomfortable. 

—

“So, got any plans for the weekend?” your coworker asks from beside you, adjusting a can of corn as you reorganize the shelves before closing time.

“Actually, I do,” you say, the lilt in your voice soft as you continue working. “Aki and I are going to a new gyoza restaurant tonight. It just opened up,”

“Ooh, a date, I see? And will you be feeding him again this time?”

You give your friend the side eye, and they chuckle, the memory of when they first saw you together causing you to laugh along.

“And what if I do? Are you gonna be there watching like last time,”

“Hey, I just happened to be there,” your friend holds their hands up in defense. “It’s not my fault I caught you kissing mister topknot,” they tease. “Besides, I’ve got my own boyfriend to feed tonight,”

“Oh yeah, how is your cat, by the way?” Humored by your joke, you smile, peering over at your friend as they shake their head with a chortle. The end of your shift flies by when the two of you are together, and before you know it, the grocery store is closed for the night.

Once back home, you call Aki to let him know. Telling him that after you shower and get ready, you’ll call him back so he can pick you up. 

“Alright, see you soon then. Love you,” 

“Love you too, bye,” his voice carries over before hanging up, the end of the call leaving you eager to be with him again. 

An hour later, he’s knocking on your door, standing outside your apartment with joy in his eyes when you open up to greet him — two overnight bags in hand. 

“You ready to go?” he asks, silently admiring your features.

“Yup,” you smile as he takes your bags for you. “I’m so ready to eat too. I’ve been dreaming of this gyoza all day!” 

Heading to the car, he chuckles at your enthusiasm. It sounds like tonight he won’t be getting any of your leftovers. Guess he’ll just have to order extra.

—

Four plates of fried dumplings later, the two of you have had your fill, and with the bill paid, you head back to Aki’s apartment.

“Denji and Power are out, by the way.” he mentions while unlocking the door, “But they’ll be back tomorrow afternoon, so enjoy it while you can,”

“Hey, don’t be mean,” you giggle, “I like them,”

“Yeah, yeah…”

With the place so quiet, you and Aki fall into what feels like a sense of domestic bliss — the tv on in the background providing a bit of sound as you go about helping him rid his fridge of spoiled food. It’s something he does every weekend lest he discovers a container of leftovers growing mold.

After that, he puts a load of laundry into the wash while you make a cup of tea — the last time you came over, he had a flavor you had never tried. You thought it was good, so Aki made sure to get more.

The two of you even brush your teeth together, which is nice because the minty fresh flavor of it remains once you’ve settled in bed — your upper half pressing against his as you kiss. Over and over, until the short pecks turn into your tongue running across his bottom lip, teasing him before he opens up and accepts, his hands sliding down to rest on your waistband as you pull back to catch your breath.

“Aki,” his eyes watch your kiss-swollen lips whisper his name. The warmth of your fingers resting against his jaw as he lifts his gaze.

“Yeah?”

Suddenly aware that you’re on top of him, he removes his hands from your hips — the subtle movement is a sign that he’s being cautious, your comfort always at the forefront of his mind. 

“You know, I still want to take things slow,” your heart rate speeds up as he keeps his eyes on you. “And I don’t think I’m ready to go all the way yet, but,” 

Now Aki’s heart is racing. He’s almost positive that he knows what you’re going to say, and he’d be lying if he said the thought of pleasing you in any way doesn't get his body aching with desire. 

“Can we try something?”

Your face blooms at the question, a sense of embarrassment washing over you as your boyfriend remains silent for a second, lips parting before he places his hands back on you and nods.

 “Anything you want,” he murmurs.

And while it’s difficult to ask your first real boyfriend to finger you, you do it. You probably sound like a total dork, you think, but Aki thinks you sound cute — delicate, endearing, but not the least bit innocent as you softly ask, “Will you fuck me with your fingers, please?”

The phrase sounds so vulgarly sweet; Aki has never wanted to satisfy someone's desires as much as he does yours. With your words repeating in his mind, he nods, keeping an eye on you as you move off him, settling beside him instead.

Shifting onto his side, Aki leans in to kiss you, interlocking your fingers with his as he pulls back to ask, “Are you sure about this?”

He knows you’re the one who brought it up, but he still feels the need to ask.

Your lips curve into a gentle smile as you shake your head in response, “I’m positive,” you assure him. 

Aki nods once more, bringing your entwined hands up to his lips to kiss your knuckles, one by one, until he lets go and places his hand on your hip, stroking your soft skin as you peer up at him.

Caught on by his hesitance, you pull him in for a heated kiss, reassuring him even further of your request with the tracing of your tongue against his lips — the wet muscle flicking against his as you glide your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, breathing out a moan while his hand travels further down, dipping into the waistband of your shorts.

“Can I?” he mumbles, thumb tracing against the fabric.

Agreeing, you shift your hips beneath him, allowing his hand to go all the way in, your lips parting in a shaky breath as his digits slide across the front of your panties, stopping just above your clit.

You’re glad you wore such a thin pair tonight, the friction of the lacy material already feels so good, and with each light circle Aki presses against you, you can feel the fabric dampen, knowing that soon, his touch will feel even better. 

As he teases you, Aki is sure to gauge your reactions. He pays attention to your movements, focusing on bringing you nothing but pleasure. And when your hips grow more fervent, when your legs spread open further, he experiments with a few words.

“Oh, you’re all nice and wet for me. Aren't you?” 

His voice is so low it’s impossible to hold back the moan in your throat. No one has ever said such a thing to you. But Aki can tell you like it. The way your clit twitches is enough to indicate that. 

“Will you let me see?” he asks.

You’ve never felt so needy before, eagerly nodding before he kisses your nose and leans away, settling on his knees so he can undress you. You haven't been this nervous in a while — but it's a giddy nervous, and each of Aki’s tender movements helps ease you. He’s slow, gentle, and careful of where he touches you as he kisses the swell of your knee, peering up at you while he glides his hands up your thighs. Everything he does is with your desire in mind.    

The veins in his hands flex while he grabs your hips, testing the waters once more as his fingers hook onto the sides of your panties — waiting for your permission.

Aki’s hands have always been nice to you, and as you shake your head in approval, you get lost in the vision of them, admiring how they look in this intimate moment as he undresses you, his long fingers pulling down your shorts and underwear until your core is exposed. 

Flustered, your knees pull together as you catch him staring, his blue eyes focused on your sex as he swallows, his lips parting while he softly speaks, “You’re absolutely perfect,”

Your breath hitches, and he kisses your thigh before adjusting himself, moving up the mattress until he’s lying beside you. This position will be more comfortable, he decides. He can please you without his gaze being too overbearing, and the closeness of your lips will make it easier to kiss as he touches you. He’s committed to making this experience a good one for you.

“Are you feeling alright?” he asks, gliding a hand across your stomach.

Nodding, you lift the hem of your shirt, muttering out a quiet “yeah” as you pull it up to reveal your tits, your nipples pebbling from both the cool air and Aki’s stare. He silently curses at how good you are at teasing, leaning in to kiss you as his calloused hand moves up to knead the soft mounds of flesh. The stimulation has you moaning, bucking your hips into the air as his thumb and forefinger pinch the sensitive skin — the slickness between your thighs increasing by the second.

“Mm, Aki,” you mutter his name between kisses, your eyes heavy-lidded as you place your hand on his, guiding it down until it rests on your pelvis. 

“I know, I know,” he hushes, “I want to touch you too, just gotta make sure it feels good for you,” he kisses your cheek and then finally; lets his fingers begin to explore.

They brush past the strip of pubic hair you shaved this afternoon, slowly making their way towards your pussy lips, where his fingers dip in to gather your slick as you spread your legs for him. Having Aki touch you like this feels like heaven, and you can feel the strings of your essence separating as you open up for him. His digits circles around your entrance a few times before trailing back up, stopping mid-stroke while he gently speaks, “Oh, you’ve got the cutest little clit I've ever seen,”

The sensitive nub throbs as he makes contact with it, a whine spilling from your throat while he languidly rubs it, his fingers returning to your slit before it becomes too much — if he had kept it up, you would have come in an instant, which isn't bad, but you enjoy the build-up.

Wetting his digits some more, Aki teases your entrance, kissing just below your ear as he quietly instructs you, “Just relax for me, okay?” 

Nodding your head, you take a deep breath, staring down as he continues playing with your pussy, rubbing your slick folds up and down before slowly sliding his middle finger into you. The sensation has both of you gasping. Aki because you’re so tight and warm, and you because his fingers are so much bigger than yours. They’re thicker and longer, and as the discomfort melts he begins to move.

He sinks his digit all the way in before almost pulling out, repeating the movement a few times over as your half-lidded eyes grow wide, a breathy moan falling from your lips as you adjust to the feeling. 

“You okay?” your boyfriend mumbles.

“Mmhm, your fingers are just…bigger than mine,”

Endeared with the comparison, he huffs out a laugh, kissing your lips while he sinks into you once again, swallowing your mewls of pleasure as he curls his finger this time, pressing against the swelled tissue of your g-spot. It’s like discovering the area for the first time all over again, and your brows pull together as your hips buck against his hand, your legs spreading further as you grab at your tits.     

 “That feel good?” Aki’s voice remains low, the sticky clicks of your cunt mixing in with the sound while you earnestly nod.

“Yeah…” you whimper, slack-jawed as you whimper on.“Yeah…I want more,” you plead, your lust-filled gaze meeting his while you desperately shift your hips.

You may not know it. You may not even be trying, but through each passing second, through each soft phrase, Aki grows more and more captivated in pleasing you — and knowing that he’ll soon be the reason behind your erotic gratification; has him happy to oblige. 

He pumps his middle finger into you a few more times before he pulls it out, tracing along your clenching little pussy while he eases it back into you, his ring finger joining in this time as you breathlessly curse. His digits are so much thicker than yours, longer too. You think this feels good when you do it yourself, but having Aki finger you feels even better. Unrestricted as to how far your wrist can twist, this new angle allows you to feel things deeper, granting you a new level of satisfaction you could never give yourself.

When he feels your walls relax again, Aki begins building the movement of his fingers, pumping the two digits at a steadying pace as he kisses you, trailing his lips down your neck and across your chest. Grazing your nipple, his tongue laps at the bud as he curves his fingers, brushing against your sweet spot. In search of repetition, your hips jolt into his touch, your cunt clamping down as Aki adjusts himself, “Gonna go a little faster now, alright?” he says, sliding his body further down for better reach. Slick with arousal, you’re taken aback by how easily he’s able to speed up his digits, your head thrown back in a heady groan as your pleasure elevates to another height, the sticky sounds of your cunt growing as Aki works his wrist, his palm brushing against your clit every so often.

Cute and high-pitched, your whines are intoxicating to him, swallowing them up between kisses while his fingers stroke your walls.

Your heavy lids make it difficult to keep your eyes open, but even in your lust-filled daze, you make it a priority to drop your chin and take a peek, to watch as your boyfriend fucks you with his fingers. So wet from your pussy, his hand glistens before you, your face flooding with warmth as you whimper his name, “Ah-Aki, Aki,”

You’re close; you can feel it — building up with every thrust of his fingers — with every graze of his heavy palm against your clit. Your skin is heating up, and your hips are jerking, grinding against him in search of more. Just a bit more of that pressure, and you’ll be falling past the edge.

Observant, Aki catches the way your swollen bud twitches and quickens his pace, rapidly pumping his fingers as you clench around him, the sloppy sound mixing in with your cries of ecstasy as he pushes all the way in, his palm grazing your clit as his fingers curl into the spot that has you keening. Repeating the motion, he watches your brows pull together as you shift your stare, meeting his gaze before he presses his forehead against yours. The fading mint of his breath fanning across your lips while he whispers, “You gonna cum for me?”

Your breath hitches as he pushes the heel of his hand towards you, the calloused skin rubbing against your sensitive nub while you press your knees together, trapping his hand in place while your brows crease, urgently nodding your head in admission. 

“Yeah?” Aki gives his own little nod while continuing to work his fingers, hitting the spongy spot in the back of your cunt as you struggle to speak.

 “Y-yes, yes fuck, please, ohh –” your words cut off into a drawn-out sob, your stomach clenching as you squeeze your thighs together, your body twitching while you dissolve into pleasure with Aki for the very first time — the reality of it all making your walls tighten around his digits even harder, soaking them in your essence as he works you through orgasm.

The sensation has Aki’s mouth falling open, feeling your pussy squeeze his fingers as you curve into his touch, keening through the incredible high while you melt into him. Your shattered breaths catch on the tip of his tongue as he kisses you, tangling his wet muscle with yours — swallowing the moans that escape you.

“Feels good, doesn't it?” Aki whispers against your lips as your clit throbs, his palm pushing down on the swollen nub, causing you to twitch in place while your climax begins to fade. As you relax, his fingers slow their pace, your body slumping into his as your heavy breaths grow steady, your half-lidded eyes catching sight of his digits pulling out of you.

You sigh as they leave you, your cunt squeezing around nothing as you hear your boyfriend mutter out a quiet “Fuck…” — Enamored with how you leak for him, how you’ve coated his thick digits in the creamy white of your pussy. How you’ve allowed him to share such an experience with you.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” he says as you lie back. The endearment has you lazily smiling, his lips pressing against the damp skin of your forehead.

“So perfect,” he repeats between kisses, tilting your chin to peck your lips.

A dreamy haze surrounds him as he stares down at you — your lower half still exposed as you peer into those beautiful cerulean eyes of his, thoughtlessly murmuring out loud, “So, do I have to give you a handjob now?”

The enchanting clouds dissipate as you realize what you've said, the apples of your cheeks growing warm as Aki's face goes blank — a tinge of regret traveling down your spine for even asking the question.

“Well, do you want to?” He calmly replies as you continue to look up at him, searching his gaze while you swallow the words caught in your throat. As much as you desire Aki — as much as you want to have him fall apart because of you; you’re not ready. At least, not tonight.

Prepared to see disappointment spread across his features, you silently shake your head, declining with a nodded no. But to your relief, Aki responds with an affirming smile.

“Then no, you don’t have to,” he says, “We can save that for some other time,”

“Are you sure?”

Kissing the top of your head, he nods, pulling back to assure you once again, “I’m positive,” he replies.

Not until you're ready.

— please do not modify or repost my work

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A/N: Aki is so boyfriend :') he's got such nice hands too Heheh, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, let me know! Kind comments are always appreciated ♡♡♡

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

[angyo]

I unironically love csm 167. Not for horny, but because it's so fucked up on so many layers and if it follows up on even 1 of those layers of fuckery it's gonna be explosive.

Denji:

He's already been sexually assaulted so many times. Every time he has a dream it gets monkey's pawed into fucking him up worse. He doesn't know what he wants. Deep down he just wants to be loved and be able to trust that if he puts his soul into the hands of another person it won't get crushed. But his love for aki and power was used to break him. His love for reze and makima betrayed. His love for nayuta and the dogs used to goad him into violence. Everyone he opens his heart to either dies or uses him, so all he has left is this hope that sex gives him the love he so deeply needs without the commitment that makes it dangerous. He thinks getting his rocks off might give him the same love he needs without the possibility of having it stolen from him. An orgasm is an orgasm, even if the other person immediately betrays you you still got "love" in a far more transactional and solid sense.

But that's not how it works. Post-orgasm is a very vulnerable time, especially if it's from a high tension surprise hand job (rape) in a backalley. It's his last dream that hasn't been ruined yet and it happened after a castration attempt and will likely end with Asa looking at him like a disgusting monster and vomiting on the ground.

Yoru:

Of course the war devil can't process love. She and Asa share a body and swap a lot of emotions but they're still different people and when something they now feel strongly goes so directly against all of their lives experience they'll react in unpredictable and possibly dangerous ways, ESPECIALLY war. Yoru got the memory of the first kiss meaning asa probably got it too. Asa's not stable, she's so desperately lonely this revelation that denji never stood her up must've felt so relieving. But yoru was in charge when asa got this flood of emotion. War isn't about love or compromise, it's about stealing from the weak and kind, asserting absolute authority, and a lot of rape and pillaging. Of course when faced with such a human and kind emotion as love war doesn't care about anything but satiating the most immediately available impulse in a way that asserts her "superiority" and leaving before she'd have to actually confront the emotional turmoil she caused.

Asa:

Oh she's fucked. Just like denji she is desperately lonely and always has love ripped away from her in the cruelest ways. But unlike him, she just pretends she doesn't need it and tries to feel superior so she doesn't have to feel the real depth of her loneliness. Yet she can't help but love anyway, and every time she falls into the trap of caring it dissolves all of her defenses and when it's betrayed it breaks her core. She is sex-repulsed, which is understandable for a teenager and possibly a sign of asexuality but thematically can be tied to her fear of opening her heart to damage. There's a difference between finding it disgusting on a reasonable level and being so viscerally disgusted by the thought it can drag you into hell. Sex is vulnerable. Your expose a lot of really sensitive organs to each other and stimulate hormones that make you open yourself up and expose yourself to risks like stds. When it feels like all her vulnerabilities get hammered against her of course she'd be scared of such a vulnerable act.

And now she's got cum on the only hand she has left, denji's spit in her mouth, and the lingering feeling of his dick on her, again, ONLY REMAINING HAND. And he's going to need aftercare, and really substantial care because she just sexually assaulted him and he doesn't know she's 2 different people. He's either gonna be so immediately depressed by the anticlimax of his first time he starts isolating or so desperate for this sex to be the time it finally means love he clings to her but it's gonna be terrifying to her because yoru took her subconscious vulnerability and externalized it to hurt the guy she just realized might be the only person to actually give a shit right now. She loves him and as soon as she lets that emotion wash over her it gets used to melt him into a puddle of desperation and vulnerability right in her arm that is so far beyond anything she can emotionally handle it could make him hate her forever. The only one who ever gave a shit and in the span of a couple minutes her body has been used to deconstruct him into a million little pieces she couldn't possibly put back together.

Not to mention the fact that in assaulting denji yoru also sexually assaulted Asa but denji doesn't know that. They both need immediate calming that isn't going to happen.

And she can't run away from yoru. The girl who assaulted her, exploited every vulnerability she has, and ruined her only chance is in her head. Even if denji realizes his worth and runs away asa is still stuck. Her assaulter is in her head, and the only hand she has left is covered in jizz.

[rekino2114]

can you do fem denji x male reader

Fem. Denji getting jealous

A/n:normally for a genderbent post I'd change the name to a feminine version of it but I can't think of anything for denji so it stays like that, also credit to x.zora.k on Instagram for the art.

"Look at that bitch, shamelessly flirting with my man"

"You can't even hear what they're saying"

You and denji were on a date (aki came along to make sure she behaved) when a girl she didn't recognized approached you and started talking to you, apparently you knew her so you two started walking away and talking with each other, which made your girlfriend very very angry.

"I don't need to, look at how she's acting, she's definitely flirting with him"

"I think she's just being friendly"

"As if, I know flirting when I see it"

"Like I said, you can't even hear it"

Denji ignored aki's words and started glaring even deeper at the girl

"What is it?"

".......my bobbs are bigger than hers right?"

"............I'm leaving"

"IT WAS A GENUINE QUESTION, I can't let her take y/n from me"

"And that's what you care about?"

"Obviously"

"*sighs* I need a cigarette"

"You can go get one if you want I'll just-.....*gasp* OK THAT'S ENOUGH"

The chainsaw hybrid was one step away from pulling the string on her chest before being stopped by aki.

"Stop. What happened?"

"DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT? SHE WAS HOLDING HIS HAND, THAT'S WAY TOO FAR"

"That's still no reason to try and kill her"

"B-but what if she's a devil trying to gain his trust to kill him"

"I find it highly unlikely, but go ahead if you want just know that I won't object to any punishment miss makima decides to give you"

"Ugh- fiiiine"

The blonde girl couldn't do anything but groan while waiting that you finished your conversation (while aki went away to not deal with whatever was about to happen)

"Hey babe, sorry if I took too long, we can continue our date now"

"You expect me to act as if nothing happened? You ditch me just to go hang out with some flat chested slut?"

".......she's my sister"

"And I'm not finished yet if you-........wait what?"

"Yeah, she came to Japan without telling me, it's been over two years that I don't see her so I just got so excited, I'm really sorry for what I did though, I should have prioritized you"

"N-no it's fine I should have been more trusting of you"

"Oh were you jealous?"

"Heck yeah I was, she was holds your hand, I should be the only girl allowed to do that.....I-I mean except family members I guess"

You giggled and approached your girlfriend then held both her hands in yours

"Is this better?"

"Yeah thanks"

"I think I know one way to make you realize you're the only girl I love"

You kissed her deeply and after a moment of surprise denji melted into the kiss not letting your mouth go for a while.

"Shit, that felt good, alright you're forgiven"

"I'm glad, how about a cuddle session to make it up to you even more"

"Yay cuddles!"

You held her hand and you started walking together, denji put her head on your shoulder to admire you with a bit of guilt in her eyes.

"Hey, sorry for earlier again, I wanted a boyfriend for so long, so when I got you, I guess I was scared of losing you"

"It's fine, jealousy is totally normal...... just don't insult my sister again"

"Yeah, dont worry......My bobbs really are bigger, though."

"*chuckle* you never change, but I guess that's one of the reasons why I love you"

Denji nuzzled into your shoulder and closed her eyes feeling the warmth of your words seep into pochita

"I love you too"

[notiddygothgf]

5. murderer

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I could devour you . ❞ ❝ Please. ❞

★ c.w.: smoking, smut, lots of filthy dirty talk omg. (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: HEY YALLLLL!!! im back again. its been a hectic week w college move-in and all. I'm a junior now but like I still get so overwhelmed omg. Anyway, as my premed studies will be bombarding me very soon, I wanted to get this chapter out. Sorry I left yall hanging!!!! This chapter follows the movie. Kinda. But I also went my own direction w it. Its SO DETAILED. it took me like two days to write it. PLEASEEE KEEP COMMENTING yall are so fucking funny. mom adores u all <3333. I HOPE YALL ENJOY THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!! MUAHHHH

★ w.c: .7.6k

shameless ; chapter index

IT WAS YOUR WEDDING NIGHT. You stumbled through the door of your honeymoon suite, giggling like school kids. Your husband was in a suit, the tie loosened and his shirt slightly untucked. You were in a white reception gown, the fabric flowing gracefully around you, and your feet ached from hours of dancing.

As the door closed behind you, you leaned against it, your eyes meeting his. "This is really happening," you laughed, still high on the excitement of the day.

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Crazy, right? I've been promoted to "husband"."

You felt a rush of happiness at the sound of your new title, the way it rolled off his tongue. "And I from Miss to Missus," you repeated, savoring it.

He stepped closer, his hands gently cupping your face. "You look beautiful," he whispered, his voice filled with admiration. "I can't wait to get you out of this dress"

You blushed, feeling the warmth of his gaze. "Patience, dearest husband," you teased with a smile, reaching up to kiss him softly, "You have a whole lifetime to do that."

He pulled away, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Sit down," he instructed, gesturing to the edge of the bed.

Confused but intrigued, you did as he said, perching on the bed's edge. He knelt down in front of you, his hands reaching for your feet. 

"What are you doing?" you asked, a laugh bubbling up.

"Your feet must be killing you," he said, his hands carefully unbuckling your white high heels. "Let me take these off for you."

You felt a wave of tenderness as he gently slipped off your shoes, his fingers brushing against your skin. "You're too good to me," you murmured, watching him with soft eyes.

He looked up at you, his expression serious but loving. "You deserve it," he said simply. "I want to take care of you, always."

In a dimly lit room, the air thick with anticipation, Captain Hayakawa sat on the edge of a plush, luxurious bed in your hotel room, his presence commanding and magnetic. The faint aroma of his cologne lingered in the air, ambery, woody, warm, intoxicating. He took his time rolling the sleeves of his white button down up to his elbows.

With his legs spread wide, a subtle display of dominance, he beckoned you to approach him – gaze locked onto yours like a cat cornering a frightened mouse. He took a lazy pull from a cigarette, curling a finger toward you as if to say 'come here'.

You stood before him, a portrait of feminine allure, your small black party dress clinging to your curves. You knew your eyes mirrored the confusing mix of hesitance and excitement coursing through your veins.

This is really happening.

As you approached him, hips swaying gently from side to side, his eyes drank in every inch of you with evident hunger lingering behind his gaze. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of you, you realized. You both came here for one reason – one rotten, depraved reason.

His hand was warm as it glided up your leg and over your knee, stopping just as he reached the skirt of your dress. Nudging your shoe with his much larger one, he patted his chest.

Under his command, you lifted your foot from the floor and placed your heel on his chest. His hands, strong and confident, reached out for your ankle.

With a cigarette pinched between his teeth, he brought his face closer to the cold skin of your leg, warm breath causing your face to flush with heat. Slowly, tantalizingly, his lips made contact with your calf. The delicate graze of his lips against your skin left an imprint on your memory that you knew would never fade.

Your husband smiled up at you, sliding the shoe off of your foot. "This is all mine now, yeah?"

You smiled right back. "All yours."

The Captain's movements were calm and calculated, expert fingertips tracing the contours of the buckle on your heels. He made slow work of it, being sure to drag it out as he heightened the anticipation of what was to come.

Your skin was ablaze with the fire of your passion, your guilt.

As he slid the shoe off of your foot, his touch was gentle, yet possessive. His fingers lingered over the skin of your ankle just as the heel slipped off. He pressed another hot kiss to the inside of your shin.

Though your breath appeared to have been caught in your throat, you switched feet, allowing your inhibitions to fall away ever-so-slightly as you put your shoe against the fabric of his white dress shirt. Your heel hooked beneath the V-line he had left unbuttoned by mere coincidence, black leather standing out against his pale skin.

He repeated the same process, placing a gentle smooch to your tingling skin. With each searing kiss, he worked his way upward along your thigh, expertly navigating the fine line between temptation and restraint. The room was filled with a palpable tension, the air heavy with unspoken desires and the intoxicating scent of forbidden pleasure. He continued his ascent, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

He's the fucking devil, you thought.

The connection between the two of you was both electric and dangerous, a dance of seduction that blurred the lines between right and wrong.

No, you had long since crossed that line.

As the second heel slipped off, the air grew denser.

In that moment, he took a pause, his hands gliding smoothly over your thighs, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. The sensation sent a surge of electricity through you, heightening your senses.

"Come sit on my lap," Aki breathed, his words carrying a subtle invitation that held a promise of pleasure, cigarette dangling sinfully from his lip.

Feeling your core boil with arousal at the mere prospect of that alone, you knew better than to keep him waiting. So carefully, gracefully, you followed his instruction. You positioned yourself over his lap, lowering yourself down until his thighs met the back of yours.

He slid his hands over the small of your back, pulling you closer until your hips were flush against his. You gasped, breath caught in your throat, as you looked at him up close.

He was breathtaking. He had sultry, downturned eyes with dark lashes that feathered over his pale skin. His dark hair was disheveled, frizzy, messy from the rain and your fingers. You were drawn to the pink, plush, pillow of his lips – the subtle curve of his cupid's bow.

He was showing a remarkable amount of self-restraint.

For a moment, you doubted yourself, doubted if all of this was real. If you really were in a hotel room right now, sitting on another man's lap while your husband waited at home – some few hours away.

But the puff of smoke he breathed out in your face was anything but a figment of the imagination, pulling a cough from your lungs. You could get high off of him alone – his scent, his taste.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" He mused, eyes scanning your flustered face.

Slowly, rather than awaiting an answer from you, he pulled the cigarette out from between his lips, popping it between yours.

You knew it was wrong.

But, still, you couldn't resist the temptation as you wrapped your lips around the stick and breathed in.

And you only coughed once, this time.

With a quiet laugh, he flicked the cigarette onto the floor below the two of you, smushing it into the carpet with the toe of his shoe. He was dangerous – just as drunk as you were, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

"Himeno told me to stay away from you," He smiled softly, slowly, like he was in a daze.

"You never have been good at listening, have you?" You teased. Your legs didn't touch the ground when they were thrown around him like this. He was so much bigger than you. "Why me? Why not someone your own age? Why not... I don't know... Himeno? She'd throw everything away for you."

Cupping a warm hand over your cheek, he pulled your face closer to his, breathing sin unto your lips, eyes burning holes into your soul.

"I don't want Himeno," Slowly, he leaned into you. His lips ghosted over yours, tempting you to breach the gap between the two of you – you submitted to his desires, allowing him to tilt your chin up and press your noses together. "I want you. More than I've ever wanted anything, I think – anyone."

His presence was intoxicating.

"And I've had my fair share," He mused. "You may have a few years on me, but I'm nowhere near as innocent as you think."

You shivered at his touch, which lingered at the base of your back. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," He spoke gently, voice teetering on the edge of a whisper, "But I know actions speak louder than words," His eyes, half-lidded and hazy, dropped down to your lips. "Want me to show you?"

"More than anything," You breathed.

He laughed softly, eyes creasing at the corners. "Think you can handle me?"

Ignoring the warmth that churned in your gut, you flipped the question around on him. "I could ask you the same thing," you teased again.

You were barking a lot for someone who was most definitely not going to bite.

"I know I can. And I will," Was his response. His thumb had begun toying with your lower lip, tugging on the soft pink skin like he was testing his limits. His eyes weren't on you as he spoke – they were trained on the flushed skin of your nose, the parted valley between your plush lips. "And I can tell you exactly how I plan on doing it."

"Tell me, then," you humored him.  You found yourself lost in this little game of cat-and-mouse that the two of you were playing, eyes dancing with desire.

He was close. So close, you could almost taste his lips as they hovered over yours.

"I'd lay you down real gently first... start kissing up and down your thighs," He purred. On cue, his thumb began to stroke the soft skin of your thigh. His eyes never left you, stirring up something you had never felt before. "Tease you 'till you're begging for me, dripping for me."

Your mouth was watering just thinking about it. Thinking about the way his lips would feel against your mouth, your neck, your thighs, your...

"Yeah?" You swallowed, suddenly feeling very small now that he was backing you into a corner like that. "Then what?"

"I'd eat you for dessert. Make you cum once for every time you walked away from me," His tone was absolute. You believed every word he was saying. "Wanna put those pretty legs of yours around my neck 'n fuck that attitude right out of you. You want that?"

"Mhm," You pleaded, mind a hazy mess. Your eyes practically had hearts in them.

This was going to be a very bad decision.

He smiled softly, though his words bore a sharp edge. "Not gonna run from me this time, are you?"

You felt your cheeks burn at his provocative inquiry, desperately trying to ignore the warmth that throbbed between your legs – a warmth that was pressing right up against him. Your words came as a quiet murmur into the small gap between your lips and his, "Promise."

And it was as if, for a brief moment, everything fit into place.

The air was charged with the weight of your words. A smile danced across his lips very briefly before he finally closed the gap between the two of you, lips meeting in a sinful dance that was gentle... at first.

His hands explored the low of your back, holding you by the curve of your waist and holding you close to him. He tasted like nicotine and mint, a flavor you wouldn't forget, tongue exploring you like he knew what would have you fiending for him.

The room seemed to fade away as you melted into him. There was no suite, no bed, no clothes between the two of you. In that moment, it was just you, him, and the dim light from the lamp on the dresser behind you.

He nipped playfully at your lower lip, a sensation that made your shudder against him. His touch on your back was warm, tender, possessive. You never wanted him to let you go.

He deepened the kiss ever-so-slightly. You responded in kind by moving your fingers from his shoulders to his neck, to his razor-sharp jaw. Up to his head, to tangle them into his topknot, to pull the hair tie out and let his hair fall down to his shoulders.

The kiss was slow, tantalizing, pulling you apart at the seams until you were begging for more.

He departed from your face to press kisses to your jaw. They were hot, wet, just enough to make you arch into his touch. He took your responsiveness as a sign to continue his onslaught, warm kisses cascading down the valley of your neck, pausing only when your lips parted to release a quiet whimper. His lips formed a light suction, tugging at your sweet spot until you were clawing at his back.

He huffed out a short laugh against your hot skin, "Getting sensitive already?"

You grumbled embarrassedly, keeping your face buried in the warm crook of his neck and breathing in more of that intoxicating scent of his.

Before you knew it, he stood up, hooking your legs around his waist. With a gasp, you threw your arms around his neck. He turned the two of you around. Slowly, he set your body onto the mattress, as if he were scared he would break you.

"Hayakawa," You breathed, allowing him to continue pressing kisses against your skin.

He chuckled, the sound surprisingly deep, "I thought we were past first-name basis."

"Aki," You repeated with the slightest smile.

"Mmh," He hummed, placing his lips over the junction between your neck and your clavicle and sucking on the sensitive skin. He paused – only briefly – to mutter, "Sounds pretty when you say it."

It was getting hard to focus; his words had become hazy, distant. All you could think of was the feeling of his mouth on your neck. The tight seal he had formed over it, touch blistering hot against the bare skin of your thighs.

"Mm... Aki," You sighed blissfully. Quietly, you hiked the hem of your dress a little further up your thighs, granting his curious hands access to a little more of you. In response, he sucked harshly on your neck.

It hurt so good. You arched up into him. "Aki," You whined. "Please."

In an instant, he pulled away, leaving you cold and vulnerable. He stood above you, an image of lust, cheeks dusted with rose, the same color he wore on his parted lips. His hair hung in his face, just barely obstructing his pretty eyes from you.

You wanted him to tie you down and command you, to tell you what you needed to do. You wanted him to dominate you until you didn't have another thought. You wanted all sorts of things that you knew you had no right to want.

"We can change it up, if you want, too," He purred, voice low and daring. "'Sir' works just fine."

"Mhm," You pleaded, mind a hazy mess.

"You like that better?" He smiled softly down at you, words bearing a sharp edge despite his outward appearance. "What do we say when we want something?"

"Yes, please," Your face burned with the heat of your embarrassment. You didn't care. You loved the feeling of giving up control for a moment, letting him take the reins. "...Sir."

The nickname made you flush with embarrassment.

"You know, I hear people call me that all the fucking time," He said, shaking his head. He walked towards the bed, kicking your legs open with his heel. He licked his lips, raking his hungry eyes over your trembling body. "But it never sounded as good as it does now, coming from you."

You were literally going to explode and melt into the carpet.

"Back that ass up on the bed. I want you to get yourself ready for me," He asked. His tone was so soft, so polite, that you almost mistook it as a question rather than a command. "Want you to show me how you wanna be pleased. Can you do that for me?"

You crawled back onto the bed, keeping your head down to shield yourself from his eyes, and gently running your hands up your smooth legs. "Okay," You breathed, words a notch below a whisper. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" He asked, watching you reach beneath your lacy black panties and collect some slick onto your fingers, reaching up to palm your tender breasts with the other hand. On the outside, he was composed, calm, as if he had been looking down at a stack of papers instead of you. You could see right through his disguise, a hungry animal clawing for release behind his pretty blue hues. He looked like he wanted to eat you up.

You knew what he wanted. You didn't keep him waiting.

"Yes, sir," You licked your lips.

For a moment, you relished in the way he melted at your words.

He sat on the edge of the bed to watch you, reaching up to loosen his tie. "So fuckin' perfect," He purred, voice a symphony of sin. "So well-behaved. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to see you like this."

His praise was turning you on like crazy. You shuddered, sliding a finger through your warmth and putting pressure on your aching bud. You rolled your thumb over your clit in a slow, steady, circular motion.

He looked like he had been hypnotized.

He crawled over you, caging you in, pressing a kiss to your neck. Then to your clavicle, then to your sternum, your ribs, your stomach...

"I want you so fucking badly," He murmurred against your skin. "I could devour you."

You whined, "Please."

He lowered himself down a little more, kisses trailing down a little further. Finally, he came back up for air, sealing your fate with an open-mouthed kiss.

His lips fit perfectly against yours, smearing your lipstick down your chin and across your face. It was Heaven. It was Hell. It felt like a daydream. It was raw, primal, borderlining on animalistic, but you would be lying if you claimed you weren't panting against him like a bitch in heat.

He shifted his knee between your thighs. It chafed against your sodden panties, eliciting a quiet whimper. It was so quiet that you had been foolish enough to hope he hadn't heard it.

"Fuck me," he panted. An idiom, of course, but at that point you would have taken him up on his offer. He glanced up at you, eyes dark and pupils dilated.

Without another word or a warning, he went in for your neck again, this time biting the flesh and sucking on it – right where he knew you liked it.

"Tell me to stop," He detached himself from your neck for a moment to groan at the sight of you, desperate for his touch. He was losing himself, you could tell. His breath trembled under the weight of his arousal. "Fuck, tell me to stop right now, or I won't be able to stop myself."

Aki rested his forehead against yours, practically panting against your face. "Tell me you don't want me the way I've been craving you."

You knew you should refuse him. You knew you had to. But for some inexplicable reason, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. To claim you didn't want any of this would have been lying to yourself. But at the same time, it wouldn't be right to cheat on your husband.

The same husband who had taken you away from your ambitions so early to hide you away behind his white-picket-fence dreams?

"I..." you paused. It was hard to think. The scent of his cologne combined with the feeling of his body pressed right up against yours was driving you up the fucking wall. Your head was getting foggy, and it wasn't long before you felt your resolve crumble. You snaked your hand around his tie, fiddling with it and bringing your eyes to meet his gaze.

"Do you take this man to be  your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, until death do you part?"

"I do."

He awaited your response, awestruck blue eyes glazing over with the haze of his own need. He never proceeded without your consent.

"I do," you finally admitted. "I want you."

You had never seen him like this before. He had lost his composure altogether. The man before you — shuddering against your body — was not the same man you thought you had known. He was depraved and sinful and a complete 180 from the Captain Hayakawa you'd been introduced to on the train — a man so calm and composed.

"What are you waiting for, then?" You dared to ask.

A mere two seconds later, he made you eat your words. He nudged your legs apart before smoothly slipping between them. He never once broke eye contact, not until he stopped to hoist your legs over his hip and slide you closer to him. He was right up against you at this angle, and you found yourself instinctively grinding your hips against his, desperately seeking some semblance of friction. It had been years since you were last touched like this.

He leaned back, undoing the rest of his shirt buttons. You held your breath as the fabric slid off of his broad shoulders, pooled at his knees on the bed. His skin revealed years of experience, chiseled physique marred with pink scars. His muscular arms tensed, rippling when he replaced his arms on either side of your head, caging you in.

Your mouth was practically watering at the sight of him. One night. One night wasn't nearly enough for you to do everything you wanted with him.

It seemed it wouldn't be enough for him, either. The moment he had wrangled the tie off of his neck and tossed it onto the sheets, his lips were back on yours.

His hands worked on your dress – one sliding gently beneath your back to tug the zipper down while the other peeled the straps off your shoulders. Once he had the dress pooled around your waist, he sat back, slipping it the rest of the way off of your legs. The sudden chill of the cold air against your now bare breasts, your stomach, your legs, made you shiver.

For a moment, you were staring up at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath. In a moment's width, he stepped between your legs and ran his hands up and down your exposed legs. They stopped around your hips. His eyes traced the curves of your body right down to the heat between your thighs.

"You look divine," He hummed, stopping to just stand there and take you all in. He wasted no time in tracing his thumb over the damp fabric at the apex of your heat, "I'm gonna take these off, okay?"

Then he was pulling them down, away from your warmth, down your legs, over your toes – he tossed them behind him. Hooking one of your legs over his shoulder, he asked you, "Ready, baby?"

"Yeah," You giggled. There was another man between your legs, and you were giggling, "Ready as I'll ever– Oh!"

During your attempt to humble yourself, Aki slid his middle finger inside of you. He curled it upward, feeling around you in a way that had you keening for more. In another movement, the finger was gone, leaving you feeling empty and needing more.

You raised your head off of the bed, resting your weight on your elbows while you struggled to get a good look at him.

He brought his finger up to his mouth and then licked it clean. "So sensitive," He hummed in satisfaction, hardly giving you any time to recover before teasing it over your entrance. "Poor thing. Trembling after just one finger. I wonder if you'll even be able to hold up long enough for me to eat you out."

You were embarrassed, oddly enough, and dropped your head down to cover your face with your hands. He couldn't be real. There was no way this was real. It was too good to be true.

"Fuck, " you stammered. It was getting hard to form coherent sentences when he was teasing you so languidly. "It's been a while– hah–"

Aki dipped his finger into your waters, sucking in a sharp breath at the way you gripped him. He was only one knuckle deep. All things considered, his fingers were pretty long.

"I wonder how much you can take, hmm?" He teased, pressing them further into your heat, massaging your walls, fucking you open slowly.

You raised a worried brow at him. "What do you–" Your sentence was broken by a startled gasp as he bent down, ran his flattened tongue across your cunt. "Oh fuck, Aki."

"That's not my name, is'it?" Aki groaned, although the sound was muffled due to the fact that he was buried nose-deep in your pussy. From here, you couldn't see much more than the crown of his head, the black locks that brushed over his face.

He sucked gently on your clit, a sensation that made you arch your back off of the bed. His tongue was long and pointed, and was just the right size to slide sinfully into you like it was meant to be there all along.

"Ah! Sir, please, I–" You pleaded with the man. Your hand found its way to his head, gripping his inky locks like your life depended on it. In a matter of seconds, he had single handedly reduced you to a babbling mess. "Mnnnh-"

He was answered with a gasp and a desperate rut of your hips against his mouth, against the vibrations of his satisfied hums, and did nothing to stop you. Instead, he allowed you to shamelessly ride his face.  Your legs clamped shut around his ears. He huffed a satisfied little laugh before prying them apart and continuing to make a ruin of you.

Although he had to pull away for some air – replacing his tongue with two digits – he continued lapping at your clit. He ate you up like he was a starving man, obscene sucking and slurping noises filling the room soon thereafter.

You could hardly breathe, but fuck, you wouldn't mind dying like this: with a pretty Devil Hunter squished between your thighs, your juices smearing all over his face while you forced his tongue deeper inside.

"Fuck," he breathed, and you knew he shared the sentiment. "You're purring like a fuckin' kitten for me."

You pulled his hair, and were shocked to find him arching into it. One more experimental tug, and you knew you hadn't been hallucinating. The sinful little moan he let slip out was by no means a coincidence. You wanted to comment on it, but what came out after he slipped a third finger in and curled it up against your sweet spot was a string of broken moans. "Please!"

"Please what?" He paused his desperate licking to ask. His fingers never stopped, plunging themselves deeper within you and curling up against that spot he knew drove you crazy. He was in perfect tune with the rhythm of your body. Every arch, buck, or stutter of your hips spurred him on. Teasingly, he rubbed your sweet spot with his fingers. "You want more, pretty mama?"

His fingers were so long – so much larger than yours, than your husbands, even, and you felt your eyes rolling into the back of your head before you knew any better.

The coil in your gut was drawing tighter and tighter. He was reaching deep inside of you and undoing you from the inside out like the lace strands of a tightly wound corset. You wanted more. No, fuck, you needed more. But in all honesty, you weren't sure you could take any more. If he got any more creative, you would undoubtedly end this fantasy too early. The brutal pace of his long, slender fingers was making your mind go blissfully blank, slurred words and broken moans pouring out of your mouth a mile a minute as you struggled to hold on.

Aki kissed his way back down to your thighs. In a moment's width, his tongue had joined his fingers once more in making a mess of you.

You gasped. "Fuck, please, 'm gonna cum."

His lips departed from your dripping wet pussy, but only to roughly slide your ass closer to his face. Then, completely disregarding your previous pleas, he quickened his pace. His hair was beyond disheveled, tangled in your fist while the rest hung, dampened with sweat, around his face. "Beg for me again," He groaned, the sound muffled by your trembling thighs. You were shaking like a leaf in an autumn breeze and he was relishing in it. "Keep begging for me just like that, baby."

"Please..." You gasped. You yanked his hair, and then trapped his head between your thighs. The moans – increasing in pitch – were falling out of your mouth uncontrollably now.

Call me the Phantom of the Opera. He had taken you past the point of no return, to the point where broken pleas of his name were the only thing coming from your lips. "Please, sir–"

Aki moaned against your clit, drunk off of the taste of you.

What would your husband think? What would he think if he knew that his wife was letting herself be devoured by a man in uniform (well, he was out of uniform now.) – begging for his fingers, his mouth.

He gasped at the sensation of your fingers gripping his tresses. Your guts were clenching around his tongue like you wanted more.

The sheer power this man had over you was near absurd. In a span of a few hours, he had gotten you to completely abandon your morals. Not only that, but he had you rocking your hips back on his fingers like a desperate whore, chasing that sweet sweet release you so desperately craved. But you couldn't. Something in the back of your head – the more sensible voice, undoubtedly – refused to allow you such satisfaction.

When you slapped your hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet, he grabbed your wrists, pinning them to the bed above your head. He reached for the tie at his foot, pulling it taut, then using it to bind your wrists together.

Fuck me.

"Much better," He tutted, glancing at you with such feverish hunger that it made you squirm. "Let me see that pretty face. Tell me who's making you feel good, baby."

You needed to stop this before it was too late. Desperately, you stumbled to find the right words. What came out, whatever, was a broken cry of  "You."

"Who's You?" He hummed.

It slipped out. Truly, you had never intended to let it slip. Yet, still, when his fingers curled up against a particularly sensitive spot with all of the ease of a harpist plucking at the strings of your core, your lips spilled praise of his name, digging your nails into the skin of your palms, "Aki–!"

"That's it. Such a good girl for me." He knew it would only be a matter of time before he got what he wanted from you, so he removed his lips from your clit, allowing his fingers to work you open while he smiled breathlessly – an obscene mix of your juices and his spit glistening as it ran down his chin. "G'nna cum for me?"

"Wait– no," You gasped. "I–"

"What's the matter?" He asked. The drag of each of his knuckles against your hypersensitive walls as he fucked you – albeit much gentler than before, as if easing you down from your high – made you clench around him, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," You panted. Not knowing how else to sugar coat the words – and being, frankly, too exhausted for formalities, you cut to the chase. "I need you to fuck me, Aki."

He froze suddenly, wild eyes peering into yours like he thought you would never ask. "Yeah?" He replied, breathless. "Right now?"

"Please, sir..." You teased him. "You won't keep a needy woman waiting, will you?"

He slid his fingers out of you slowly, savoring the way you clenched around them one last time before pulling out. He sucked the slick of your arousal off of his fingers. God, you would never forget how he looked right now. His face was messy, as was his hair. His eyes, wild with hunger, never broke contact with yours while he lapped up your juices like they were fresh fucking honey.

"Wouldn't dream of it," He shuddered, pushing himself onto his knees and then reaching for the buckle of his pants. You knew where this was going, yet you didn't stop him. "Thought you'd wanna take it slow, is all."

You grinned, sitting up just enough to slide your bound hands over his thighs, over the prominent tent in his black slacks, "How about you think about taking these off."

He huffed out a laugh, but removed his hands, allowing you to fiddle with the buckle of his belt until it came undone, allow you to pause for a moment – peering up at him with nothing but the purest form of adoration – before pulling them down with his boxers.

It was a real talent, being able to do that with your hands tied.

His body was the image of perfection – lean, sharp-cut, with washboard abs. To top it all off, he was big. By far the biggest you'd been with thus far.

I knew he was hiding something, You traced your finger mindlessly over his navel. The man twitched beneath your touch.

When you grazed your knuckles over his erection, he let out a pent-up gasp that turned into a breathy chuckle. "Ah, fuck– hah."

"Do you..." He trailed off, "Do you have protection?"

You thought back to the grocery store, when you had passed the wall of condoms and thought to yourself, There's no way I'll be needing those anytime soon.

And you mentally kicked yourself.

"No," You sighed. "But it's okay, I'm on birth control."

You said nothing more. There was nothing left to be said. Instead, you threw your tied wrists over his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. There was something different about it, this time, as he positioned himself over you – something far more serious. This was really happening.

He pressed a kiss to your neck, to the shell of your ear, "Tap me if it hurts, okay?"

You nodded, bracing for the worst. You could feel him throbbing against your entrance, gathering slick onto the head of his dick like he was trying to prepare himself.

Then, without another warning, the tip pushed in, and you gasped – wrapping your legs around his back on instinct. There was only the slightest amount of restriction before the new angle had him slipping the rest of the way inside.

"Easy, baby," He warned you, not even daring to move. He gave you a moment to adjust to him, even if you know the temptation was chewing him up inside. "Easy."

Once he was fully seated inside of you – leaving you feeling deliciously full, the both of you sighed in tandem, pressing your sweaty foreheads together.

After a moment of recollection, he looked down at you inquisitively, as if to say, 'Can I move?'

You nodded slowly, nerves still on fire with the ache of having him in you – the stretch of it all. But the moment he drew his hips back ever-so-slightly, and then slid back in, you felt it begin to subside. The pain was replaced with a pleasure so warm that it made your legs tremble.

If this is wrong, you thought to yourself, gasping as he repeated the shallow thrust a few more times. Why does it feel so good?

The forbidden fruit in question squeezed his eyes shut on top of you, forehead wrinkled, pretty, swollen lips parted to release the most delicious groan of, "Shittt–"

You could feel him. All of him. You ached at the sensation of him splitting you open so suddenly, pussy clenching down on him for dear life. You could feel the way his length stretched your walls, the tantalizing burn bringing your eyes to a water while you threw your head back.

"Aki," You sighed weakly.

"I'm here," He replied. "I got you."

Then he was slipping in a little deeper, thrusting a little harder, sheathing his dick in the entirety of your warmth. You tried without success to wrangle your hands out of their confines, eventually settling for digging your nails into the skin on his back.

"Fu-uck," He sighed, like he had been waiting his whole life to be buried so deep inside of you. He leaned forward, into the temptation of your soft body, rolling his hips downward. "Feels so fuckin' good, baby."

"Mmmh," You laid your cheek on the bed. You felt your eyes roll back when he slid even deeper into you – You could feel him deep in your guts.

This is bliss, you thought.

Then, suddenly, he leaned back, pulling your hips flush against his abs while he thrust into you. The new angle had you trembling, gasping as you fumbled for his hand (again, in vain, as you were bound). You could do nothing but wrap your arms around him, curl your toes, press kisses onto his shoulders and the back of his neck.

Your mind was blank, legs trembling, chest heaving.

"Yes–" you breathed, gripping onto his thigh for support. With him moving so deep inside of you, it was hard to think about anything else but him. "Fuck, right there."

He rolled his hips into you, the new motion sending stars shooting behind your eyelids. Before you could even make sense of what you were feeling, you arched into his touch.

He laughed – though it was something between a chuckle and a groan – as he pressed a kiss to the crook of your neck. His hand slid up the front of your torso, up over the curve of your breasts and pressed into your throat, holding you still while he fucked into you good and hard.

He pulled back to look at you, to really look at you, deep blue hues raking over your bare skin, over your curves and edges and imperfections.

You wished you could paint him like this, burn the image of him into your head so that, upon your return home, you would never forget about him, about this night.

He looked prettier than sin.

He pushed in again, and you gasped, clawing at his back desperately. Your heart was racing a mile a minute – any moment now, it felt as if it would explode. Your stomach did somersaults, face burning up.

His palms slid over the back of your thighs. He gripped them, throwing your legs over his shoulders. Then he leaned over, pressing into you until your legs were pinned against the sides of your head. His hips drove into you, deeper this time, like his life depended on it – like he would die if he pulled out.

Over, and over, and over again.

"Fuck me!" You cried. Your grip on his shoulders was unwavering, nails biting into his skin and dragging down with every thrust.

He licked his lips with a deep, guttural moan that went right to your core. "So good. Shit– so fuckin' good."

It felt so mind-bogglingly good. You didn't even know how to make sense of it. Your mind was so full of him – as you were, quite literally – that you couldn't think of anyone else.

"Too much, too much," You panted. Still, you did nothing to stop him. It hurt real good, made your back arch off of the bed. "Fuck, 's good–"

And your words seemed to spur him on, pinning your legs down while he pounded you into the bed. You could do nothing but scream for him, cry for him, beg for more with drunken, mindless babbles.

He leaned down, soft hair tickling your face, and licked your lips. You opened up for him immediately, tongue slipping against his.

You weren't only imagining the feeling of him massaging your g-spot, driving his hips deeper and deeper until your voice was hoarse from all of the screaming. It was real.

He pulled away from you to breathe, and he didn't even seem to care that you were scraping his back red. His brows were drawn close together, eyes squeezed shut like it was taking everything he had not to cum.

He gripped you by your chin, fingers digging into your cheeks, and turned your attention back to him.

"F-Fuck, Fuck," You whined, head dropping back onto the pillow.

"Taking me so well," He moaned, pulling away to sit back on his knees, using your legs to drag you closer to him. Though he was speaking to you, his eyes never left the junction between your body and his – the place where he disappeared inside of you over and over and fucking over again.

He sat you upright in his lap, throwing your legs around his waist. From there, he gripped the meat of your ass, thrusting up into you from a new angle.

You practically sobbed for him, gasping and heaving like a wild animal.

"Oh, God, I've done it," You cried out against his lips, "I can't turn back now. You're all I've got left."

"Yes," He answered, pitch teetering on a whine.

"You murdered my happiness– our happiness," You added, breathlessly, of course. "This is the end of everything, isn't it? Murderer."

"You are my happiness," He panted, licking a stripe from your clavicle to your jaw.

"Oh, fuck–" You arched your back, eyes rolling with bliss. "Murderer–" You moaned, "Murderer!"

The knot in your stomach was about to snap. You could feel it.

"Murderer!"

"Yes–" He breathed.

You were gasping for air, gasping into his mouth in between those sinful, messy, open-mouthed kisses. You didn't know what to focus on – it was all too much. Your arms, bound behind his back, prohibited you from holding him close.

"Don't stop–"

"I won't."

Still, the sensation of him having your whole life in his hands...

It was something you never would have entrusted your husband with.

You tangled your fist in his hair to the best of your ability.

"Ah–!" He whimpered – it seemed as if he wouldn't be far behind you in your journey, "Fuck, yes!"

"Don't stop," You cried, gripping his shoulders a little harder and gasping into his mouth. You bounced on his lap, meeting his thrusts to the best of your ability, desperately chasing after the second release you desperately sought. "Mur– Mmh, Aki– fuck– cumming!"

All it took was a few more thrusts, a few more kisses to your sore lips, and you were toppling off the edge.

And you came. Came so hard you saw stars, so hard your vision blacked out for a moment. You could feel your walls spasming and contracting around him like they never wanted to let him go.

You could tell he was close by the way he was breathing – his chest rose and fell rapidly, and his breath trembled as he continued to fuck you through it.

He made the prettiest noises when he was close – the deep, velvety groans had grown into breathy, high-pitched 'ah's and 'hah's. You tried to commit them to memory.

"You feel so fuckin' good inside 'a me," You whined,

His hips stuttered the moment the words left your lips, like you had pushed him that much close to the edge.

"So perfect," He cried, thrusts slowing slightly. He squeezed his eyes shut, licking his lips, and then diving in for another kiss. He panted into your mouth, "Makin' me feel so fuckin' good, shit."

You gripped his warm face in your hands, forcing him to look up at you. Every time your abused clit would drag against his navel, you saw colors.

"Cum for me," You told him. "Sir, Please, Cum for me. I need it."

That was all that it took. Not a second later, he faltered, burying his head in the crook of your neck while his hips stuttered. A long, drawn out whine of your name left his lips, then he did it. It was a burst of warmth inside of you, a searing, white-hot pleasure as he emptied himself inside.

"So perfect," He murmured weakly against your lips, rolling into you – slowly – a few more times before stilling completely.

In the few years you had been with your husband, you had never felt so close to another human being – so close as you were with Aki in that moment.

You kissed him with every bit of strength you had left (which wasn't a lot). He hummed, still sensitive, grabbing you by the jaw to deepen the kiss. They were different from the ones previously shared – held a different emotion, a different meaning.

It was a meaning you weren't sure you wanted to know. It was dangerous.

It was everything. Everything you'd been wanting. Everything you'd needed.

He was everything you needed. So, then, why did it feel so wrong?

I really just did that, you told yourself. The obscene mix of your juices and his leaking out of you was a testament to that.

You had officially, without a fragment of a doubt (no excuses this time), cheated on your husband.

a/n: ARRRGGRGAGAGRGR GRAAHHHH RAHHH RAHGRGAHR GAR... sorry. can yall tell im feral for aki. omg ive never written smut this detailed (i think) so i really tried to step out of my comfort zone (but go read my other shit if u like the way my smut reads teehee). as you can see the description of aki got a little out of hand. in my defense, i was ovulating and it was 3am.... anyway! i hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. the "murderer!" part was in the anna karenina movie, and at first i kinda debated whether or not i should leave it in, but eventually i was like man fuck it i think its sexy idc idc. ofc it probably plays out better in a period drama than it does in a chainsaw man fanfic but i digress. talk to me yall! Lmk what yall thought, what yall want to see, and what you think is gonna go down -- say hi, wtv.  question of the day: i just thrifted some books today. have yall seen/read the phantom of the opera? if so, would you have picked the phantom or Raoul? For me? The Phantom. in a heartbeat, too, and shamelessly. Take care and drink lots of water. muah x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[mncxbe]

HEY MY GORGEOUS LOVELY ANNEEE I really love the aki one I requested hnfRgnhrnrhr bark. I want to request another if I'm able to.. Akutagawa with the enemies bathroom party one I forgot which one is it 🩷 take ur time lauv💗🐑💥

here you go sheep and the other lovely anons that requested this one♡

2 — Enemies in the bathroom at a party

ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑𝒄𝒘: mirror sex?, degrading, crying, facial, orgasm denial

Akutagawa and you never got along– not when you were part of the Port Mafia and surely not after you left and joined the ADA. In fact, his resentment only built up each time you stumbled across each other during missions, which just so happened tonight.

Both of you were supposed to go undercover at a party to gather information, but basically spent all night at each other's throats, sharing snide words and icy looks. That was until Akutagawa dragged you into the staff's bathroom and locked the door behind you.

"Fucking bitch, look at that slutty expression on your face. Did i really fuck you dumb already?" he spat, his hips snapping against yours with each harsh thrust, the grip he had on your hair tightening. He yanked your head up and you started at your own reflection through half lidded eyes.

Your makeup was ruined– mascara smeared under your eyes, lashes heavy with tears of pleasure. You'd probably hate him now if he weren't fucking you so good.

"Hardly, Ryuu, you're far from it. It's not like that tiny dick of yours could do any good" you mocked but your words didn't seem to have any effect on him. He simply kept drilling himself inside you at a punishing pace, earning high pitches moans and mewls from you.

"Say whatever you want, but your cunt's basically milking me dry. I think you like it."

You hissed at his words, trying so hard to come up with a snarky remark but before you could utter a word, Akutagawa's hand clasped over your mouth, silencing you "Damn slut..." he mumbled under his breath when your teeth grazed his skin.

Despite the harsh words, Akutagawa felt his orgasm building up. Fucking you like this really soothed his soul, it gave him a sick satisfaction. And god, he loved the way your eyes rolled back into your skull, your walls clamping down on him with each of his thrusts.

He knew you were close by the way you moaned into his palm, eagerly pushing your hips against his as if you wanted to take him even deeper– but right before you came he pulled out of you and turned you to face him, pushing you to your knees.

"Why'd you fucking stop now?" you whined, wincing when he pulled your hair again, tilting your head up. "Think I'm gonna make you cum, slut? No way" he scoffed, his voice laced with amusement.

Akutagawa stroked his cock with a hand, his gaze locked on yours and fuck weren't you a pretty sight. He kept you steady as he came on your face, his milky cum dribbling down your cheeks and chin, clinging to your lashes. You groaned, mumbling a fuck you, Ryuu but he simply glared down at you.

By the time you managed to wipe his cum from your face, Akutagawa was out of the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. Deep down he knew that he wouldn't be able to resist bending you over the sink again and making you cum on his cock if he were to stay any longer, so he chose to focus on his mission. For now.

𐙚prompts closed

[actuallysaiyan]

Kinktober Day 27: Sex Toys

warnings: smut, hookups, use of sex toys, squirting word count: 0.7k pairings: Aki Hayakawa x Fem!Reader teaser: And then you and Aki end up in this weird “will they, won’t they” situation. People start making bets on you two.

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist: @thissaintjessi, @cherryblossombankai, @sindulgent666, @shinysp4rk, @chilichopsticks

Working with Aki was actually a breeze. The guy was always on top of everything. He was always serious about every single job. You admire that about him. You knew about his past and what he lost, but still he continued to push through everything. He was strong, and he was very handsome as well.

So falling in love with him hadn’t been quite in your plans, but it sort of just happened. You couldn’t bring yourself to stay away from him. He wasn’t the most charming, but he made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. And soon your flirting turned into something a little deeper.

He invites you over after missions. It’s usually just to unwind, drink and chainsmoke a pack of cigarettes between yourselves. But sometimes it turns into something more. Sometimes it turns into him pulling you into his bedroom to blow off steam. It’s always heated, intense sex. It’s never anything like lovemaking.

And then you and Aki end up in this weird “will they, won’t they” situation. People start making bets on you two. You’ve heard all the rumors. Instead of telling anyone of what you two do, you and Aki keep it mostly secret. They don’t know what you two have.

It’s definitely a weird bond, but you’re not ready to break it anytime soon. Aki keeps inviting you home to his place, and you end up staying the night more times than not. Eventually, you start leaving stuff at his place.

What surprises you is when Aki buys you little gifts. This makes you realize maybe he wanted something more. You don’t push him away and you certainly don’t say no to his gifts.

The one that really surprises you(and pleases you) is when he pulls out the pretty little vibrator he bought for you. It’s rose gold and has the clit sucking dual action. You’ve seen them in stores and in videos talking about the latest sex toys on the market. You knew it was expensive, but you weren’t going to comment on that.

“Want to try it out?” He asks as he pulls you onto the bed.

You barely have time to think before he’s kissing you. His kisses are always so passionate and needy, leaving you breathless and wanton for so much more. You nod your head, breathing out a soft “yes” when he asks you again. Aki is always one to make sure you’re comfortable with everything.

He helps you get undressed between soft kissing. And you do the same, relishing in being able to touch him. Then he helps you lay down on the bed. He grabs the toy, which he charged prior to you coming over, and turns it on. The steady vibrations begin to thrum and you already feel excited.

Aki grabs the bottle of lube and carefully lubricates you and the toy. Then he places the silicone tip to your aching bud. You let out a cute little moan, making him smirk. He’s got it on the lowest setting but still you’re already melting into the pleasure.

“How’s it feel?” he asks, slowly circling your clit with the toy.

You moan and grip the sheets, “So fuckin’ good.”

Then he presses a button. The vibrations and suction gets even more intense. Slowly, Aki edges you with the new toy. He goes up and down with the speed and intensity until he’s on the highest setting and your eyes are rolling back in your head.

“Fuck yes! Right there…please, Aki!” You beg for him not to stop.

Aki watches as your whole body arches off the bed. You let out a loud moan as your juices begin gushing out of you. He smirks again when he sees you fall off the edge so messily. You’re crying out his name as he keeps the toy attached to your clit. He won’t pull away just yet, making you squirt out more of your arousal.

When he finally does pull away, you’re gasping for air. Aki leans in to press a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Good girl, I can tell you love it.” He reaches over for the bottle of water. He hands it to you, “Take a breather before our next round.”

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[tsuwabuki]

what if kobeni had a contract with famine?

1. she's the first one to mention starving in the infinity devil trap.

2. you could hide some foreshadowing under innocuous comments that anyone could make. it's not odd for a poor 20 year old girl to take comfort and enjoyment in tasty food. mentioning the hobby right after 'my devil is a secret' could be nothing, but....

3. someone on reddit mentioned a possible 'final girl' devil with kobeni which I love but I felt the kitchen knife mention would match better with famine. after all, we see falling devil act as a chef preparing a meal for famine. could expand that to kobeni.

4. after famine reveals her name at the aquarium, a kobeni bro makes his debut. also if the infinity devil was used by famine here, was it also used by famine the first time we see it?

5. what we know of famines motivations and context as a horseman translates well to a theory on kobenis abilities. they seem quite powerful when activated so you would need a powerful demon.

5a. ok so my theory. when kobeni is starved of enough good things (family, luck, companionship, safety, bravery, etc), to the point she is fully starved from her humanity, she becomes hyper competent.

you see her fail to reach this state in the hotel due to her clinging to humanity (feels bad about wanting denji dead, for stabbing aki, etc). I think she succeeds in reaching hypercompetence during the rhythm game bit due to being terrified and isolated, it just so happens that the hypercompetence went into playing the rhythm game.

the only other moment where kobenis devil contract ability(ies?) come into play is after her partner gets killed protecting her and she finds out her whole team has been wiped out.

5b. ok so how does this hyper competence after 'starvation' relate to famine as a devil? well the horsemen act as as symbols and metaphors for humanity/life to triumph over.

we see that supported by both conquest and famine taking the role of nurturing humans to become stronger. you could even make that claim for all devils but this isn't about that.

starving is supposed to trigger humanity's instinct to survive by Doing Whatever It Takes. this fits nicely to how I think kobenis contract functions and why she would accept a nerf on her life like that (and how it plays into mental health, childhood abuse, and how someone could choose permanent(?) self destruction at such a young point of their life).

the fact that we see her devil contract trigger (rhythm game) after she's already left public safety means she's stuck with that contract probably the rest of her life. she wanted to go to college but her neglectful parents forced her to pick between sex work and the equivalent of demon fodder.

and because we don't know anything about her contract, we don't know how much she gave up to have this power 😭 being starved of good luck sounds like a really bad longterm debuff even if you theoretically get really good luck at your most terrified moments.

i lost my train of thought here but I'll add one more tangential thing. fujimoto is showing multiple examples of what childhood abuse and/or lack of a stable life can do to someone and how those systems help, hurt, and trap them. kobeni is an example of something more grounded despite her being comedic relief and I love that contrast with her.

she was forced to join the military due to family pressure and economic situation, could not handle the mental strain and quit with a potential life long disability that could get worse over time. she gets a job at a fast food restaurant and has spent her life so far hopping from one toxic 'family' to another.

anyways. throwing kobeni famine contract into the theory pile

[meownotgood]

WEEK ONE — masturbation + aki hayakawa, 18+, gn!reader, jerking off, pillow humping, sexual fantasies, edging, a hint of degradation, aki just can't help his feelings for you

kinktober masterlist

Everyone knows Aki has a crush on you. 

It's as obvious as it could possibly be. He's always staring, always coming up with any excuse he can to slip away from work for a while and come talk to you. He leaves frequent gifts on your work desk: notes in his handwriting, flowers or snacks or souvenirs he got for you from Hokkaido. 

He's unusually awkward when your name gets brought up in conversation, he's jittery whenever you're around — The last time you tagged along on the division's monthly drinking night, Aki was practically a mess, choosing to drown himself in as much alcohol as he had the pocket change to order, simply to keep from losing it because you'd sat next to him. Of course you had to sit right next to him. 

You've kept him infatuated for forever now. The thing is, Aki doesn't care if he's obvious. You're so pretty, he thinks. He's thought so from the very beginning. You're pretty and interesting and smart and it isn't his fault; he really can't control how his heart flutters and his head goes dizzy every time you talk to him, it just happens. You just have that effect on him. 

He can't help but feel shy every time you call his name in that sweet voice of yours; so polite, sticking to Hayakawa-sir even though he's told you before that you can use his first name. You grin every time, and you explain, But you get embarrassed when I call you Hayakawa. He can't help it when his face turns red all the way to the tips of his ears because you're teasing him, giving him a hard time for how stuttery he's getting. 

You were particularly teasing today. Aki knew you must've been in a good mood from the moment he arrived at headquarters. You held him by his arm, you cooed praises into his ear for how hard he's been working lately. Told him if he ever needed a break, he could come to your office any time he wants to and you'd give him a massage or make him some coffee. You insist. 

Maybe that's why he can't sleep right now. 

He's tried to get some sleep this time, he seriously has. He hates when he's like this. When he finds he's unable to stop thinking about you, he'll try everything he can to wind down and make himself forget. He'll go for a run to try and get his energy out, take an ice cold shower, smoke until his lungs are burning to attempt to quell the noise in his mind, and yet tonight, none of that has worked. 

Nothing can chase away those thoughts of you, those memories of your pretty face and your teasing hands. Nothing convinces his heart to stop pounding within his chest. Aki tosses, turns. His sheets rustle and his mattress shifts underneath his weight. 

It's a real conundrum. He's felt hot all over ever since he climbed into bed. His face is warm, he's practically sweating. Turning again, he takes a quick glance at his alarm clock, the screen reads 11:54 which is several hours since he first attempted to sleep and a few minutes since he last checked it. 

You were touching him so much today. So much, more than he's used to, even for you. No-one else ever touches him like that, nobody ever hugs him, holds his hand, makes him feel wanted. He wonders if you know how worked up you get him, if you can tell his heart is racing, or know the reason why he's shifting is because his slacks are getting tight. 

11:56, now. Aki's head is spinning. 

This is stupid, wrong of him, even. He's not super close to you. You're just one of the Public Safety office workers. If he wants to be technical, he could be considered your superior, actually. A superior fantasizing about one of the little devil hunter assistants. He's terrible. 

Aki can't help but yearn to feel your touch elsewhere, everywhere. He needs it, needs you, warmth buds in his core and there's a steady ache between his legs. He was short on breath before, when you'd grabbed his arm and pressed real close, and even now, just from thinking about it, he's — 

Fuck. Aki twists, rolling from his side onto his back, he rubs his knotted up temple with his finger and his thumb. It's too much. You're going to be the death of him. 

His breath comes out heavy and shaking and loud in his ears. His chest rises up and down, his trembling fingers slip under the blanket, then underneath the waistband of his sweats, and his heart begins to pound faster in anticipation, hammering against his ribs.

He hesitates for a second. In the end, he gives in like he always does. Shame pools thick in the pit of his stomach, but it isn't enough to stop him from working his hand down — His palm brushes the soft fabric of his briefs, he gropes the shape of his cock through his boxers and he's already stiff. He sighs, he lets his head toss back. 

You'll forgive him for this, right? You'd forgive him for getting hard when all you did was barely touch him, and for using thoughts of you to get himself off, wouldn't you? He's just so lonely, so stressed out, that's all this is. You have to forgive him, you have to understand. Aki swiftly decides you would, because he can't wait any longer; he's been needy like this for hours upon hours now and at this point, it's far too late for him to stop. 

Aki pushes the blanket away, he tugs his sweats and his briefs down to his thighs at the same time, he hisses when his cock comes free. Slowly, he wraps his palm around, and he brings his thumb to the head, rubs it slow, feels himself throb steadily in his hand. 

He's already dripping, precum beads in droplets at his slit and dribbles down to dirty his knuckles, each of his fingers. There's wetness sticking to his palm. A disgusting sound echoes as he pumps himself, up and down nice and careful, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth. 

It feels so fucking good. Aki groans in pleasure, immediately forgets how perverted this is, he closes his eyes, thinks of you. He isn't the type to do this, he's never felt this way about anyone, he doesn't even touch himself because he's never had a reason to — but you've changed everything. 

You're the reason for this, and when he's got his cock in his fist, you're all he can think about. He imagines your touch, your voice, your warm breath on his skin. Aki tries to picture how it'd feel to kiss you, to press his lips on yours and have your tongue in his mouth. How it'd feel to hold you, to have you be the one to jerk him off. 

Your hands are so perfect; Aki's memorized the way they look, the way they fold when you're writing or grabbing his arm or holding your drink. They're dainty compared to his, they'd probably feel softer, so much gentler. Ever since a few weeks ago, he's fallen into the habit of using his left hand to touch himself as opposed to his right. It's clumsier this way, but it's easier to imagine his hand is someone else's, yours. 

Your soft hand around his dick, stroking him just like this — Aki doesn't know if he'd be able to last. If he'd even be able to look at you, let alone talk, let alone do anything but plead your name.

Your fingers are so pretty, you'd complimented him once, Aki remembers how you sat next to him and intently watched him sign paperwork like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He'd shaken his head and written you off then, but he wants to know if you'd compliment him again, if you'd still think so when his fingers are cradling your face or pushing past your lips. 

Would you still think he's as pretty — his fingers wrapped around his cock, his hair down and how you like it, his earrings you say you like so much glinting in the low light — if you saw him like this? 

He wonders if you'd tease him the same as you do at the office. Oh, Mister Hayakawa, you've been wanting this for so long, haven't you? You're so fucking dirty. How long have you been jerking yourself off every night to the thought of me? So damn needy, you just want me to take care of you, huh? 

Yeah, he's dirty, he's rocking his hips into his grip, he's whining and sighing soft gasps of pleasure, louder than he probably should be. He's pumping his fist faster as he pictures your face down between his legs; you'd look precious with your hair tucked back, your lips would feel as plush as he'd imagined and you'd stare up at him with such an innocent expression, your eyes practically sparkling as you take his cock in your mouth. 

He can't take it. Aki pants with weight behind every breath, he twists his wrist and squeezes, pumps even faster and thinks he just might lose his mind right here — and then, he takes his hand away. 

He lets go, his dick falls against his stomach and he keeps one hand in his hair and the other beside him, despite how badly his nerves are screaming for him to keep touching. He allows his breath to even out, stares at the ceiling and waits for his mind to clear.

He doesn't want to cum yet. Not when it's only been a few minutes. If he cums now, he'll probably get too exhausted to cum a second time. So he can't, not right now, not when he has more he wants to think about. 

Twisting over on his side, Aki brushes his bangs away when they fall messily around his face. He presses his palm to his forehead, feeling the sweat trickling from his skin. His fingers twitch. He debates what he's about to do for a few seconds.

He shouldn't, it'll be a hassle. But when he knows how good it's going to feel, he can't resist. Hurrying, he lifts his head and grabs his pillow from underneath, he adjusts, burying his face in the sheets when it starts to feel warmer. He situates himself on his stomach, pillow firm between his legs. 

Deep, slow rolls of his hips cause him to forget any of the sense he was still holding onto. He exhales hard, shakes even harder. Aki fists the sheets in a tight hand, he leans his head into his forearm, he grinds his aching cock against his pillow until his thighs are beginning to hurt.

If he was more confident, confident enough to tell you how he feels, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe if you knew, you'd let him fold you over his bed and fuck you just like how he's been dreaming of, slowly and dizzyingly tender, enough to make him forget about everything else. Maybe. If he's good. God, does he even deserve it? 

Either way, it doesn't matter what he wants. He'll do whatever the hell you ask him to, whatever you'd be willing to give him he'd be happy with — He'd be content just fucking the space between your thighs, or having you talk to him while he gets himself off and humps his pillow like a pathetic idiot; anything you want, whatever you want. As long as you're there, as long as he can hear your voice and feel your touch, and not be so alone. 

The smooth cotton of his pillowcase is slick and wet with his precum. His cock is throbbing incessantly, pleasure spreads through his entire body and he doesn't care that his mattress is squeaking, that he's losing rhythm. He breathes heavy with every rut of his hips and imagines you're here, you're beneath him. 

Arms strung around him tight, you'd lock eyes with him and he wouldn't dare to look away. Feels so good, you're perfect, Aki, you'd praise, and he loves your praises, You wanna cum? Oh, but you can hold out for a little longer for me, can't you? 

Aki shivers. Of course. If you're the one asking him, he just has to. Especially when you call him Aki.

Aki, that's it, keep going. You're so sweet, so good for me. I belong to you. I'm all yours, forever and ever. Does that make you happy?

You're his, all his. You'd sound so perfect moaning his name as he bullies his cock into you. His first name, his and no-one else's, no extra politeness or honorifics. You'd say it softly as he slides inside, say it when you're begging him to fill you deeper, repeat it when you're telling him he's got to beg for you if he wants to finish. 

C'mon, Aki. Cum for me. Give me all of it. 

Yeah, Aki mumbles out loud to himself, his voice is breaking, he thrusts his hips with reckless abandon, I'll give you everything, oh, f-fuck, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum… 

He shoves his face into the bed as much as he can manage to muffle his noise, his fragile moans and loud whimpers. His shoulders tense, muscles aching. A few more shallow movements and he's done; he chants your name over and over again as he finishes, cumming all over his pillow and his sheets, thick ropes of white dirtying the fabric, making a mess. 

Falling limp, Aki lays like that for a while, catching his breath. Everything begins to fade, working through to tiredness. He should get up and shower, wash his sheets and his pillowcase, but he's so exhausted he can't even manage to move. 

He feels warm all over again, just less intense this time. Aki realizes he was saying your name as he came. Embarrassing. He can only hope he wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear. 

He'll fall asleep now, at least, with warm thoughts of you to fill his head. A date with you would be nice sometime. Nothing too crazy. He'd take you anywhere you wanted to. He also wouldn't mind taking you back to his apartment and making you something for dinner, whatever you'd like. 

If you were here now, he'd hold you as close as he can get you, breathing soft and slow while drifting off silently, his arms wrapped secure around your waist.

He's almost asleep. But —

Ah. He'd forgotten he has to work at the office tomorrow. So he's going to have to face you, first thing in the morning. 

The next time he sees you, he doubts he'll be able to do much talking. But he'll get busier soon, there's a lot of devil hunting missions coming up. Who knows when Aki is going to see you next, so if he doesn't tell you his feelings soon, when will he? 

He's decided. Tomorrow, he's going to ask you out. 

[hinakazino]

Meeting their future kid! || Angel, Aki

Summary: Meeting their future child they had with you!! Or, in which your child with them somehow lands in the past for awhile.

Context: This is before an established relationship, the kids a teen here. Oh and (C/N) stands for your Childs name.

Warnings: SPOILERS (mainly on Aki’s part), none, just fluff.

— angel devil

Honestly, he’s shocked. Literally thinking what? That’s impossible. Touching him shortens one’s lifespan! He didn’t have a lover either, humans and even devils didn’t interest him- So how is it possible that he has a child?

But he couldn’t deny it either, the girl standing in front of him looked like him. She carried the same features, like the red hair and had wings just like him. There wasn’t a halo though, and he could instantly tell she was a hybrid.

“Dad!”, his daughters voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even realized that he’d completely zoned out. Angel had no idea what to say, but listened as his daughter spoke. “Dad, I know this is quite shocking, but I’m really your kid, my names (C/N),” she said.

It seems that from this Angel regained his composure, he didn’t like beating around the bush anyway. So he asked straightforward, “who is your mother?” “Y/n,” and it clicks. He’d seen you around, and you were his recently assigned partner.

“Um.. you can ask any question you want dad, don’t worry I’ll answer!” your daughter says as she grabs his bare hand to take him to sit. Angels terrified and instantly slaps his daughters hand away. “Woah woah- sorry, I forgot to say, dad I’m immune to your curse!” she says.

His face shows skepticism, but he sits down next to her and he finds himself apologizing. “Sorry..What’s it like in the future?” he asks. “No worries! Oh well, you and mom are basically retired devil hunters. You still go on the job but you get 4 days off now."

He watches as his daughter talks with enthusiasm, and finds himself softly smiling when she says, “happy to hear right dad? Mom says you didn’t like fighting or working much.” Angel feels that he quite enjoys the thought of a future with you and his daughter, it was just truly too good.

Angel then wonders on, "what is it that you do?" he asks. He watches as his daughter responds, "I'm a devil hunter too- but you don't have to worry because I'm pretty strong!!" "Really?" he says. "Yeah! You know you still always have that look on your face father, I'm not a baby anymore," your daughter states proudly.

Angel chuckles at this, as he realizes that his future won't be a lonely one. He won’t be alone anymore, he has his own family. It was in that moment that another thought had occurred to him, my touch drains others lifespan so how strange is it that we were able to have offspring?

Before he could ask though, your daughters time was up. "Sorry dad, I gotta go, this mechanism that got me here doesn't last long," she says. "Ah, no it's okay, stay safe," angel says. "One last thing though! Mom said to give you this, she said it may solve a question you have."

He watches as his daughter hands him a note, and stiffens when she hugs him. Angel finds himself slowly recuperating the hug, hands softly placing themselves on his daughters back, it felt foreign to him. When his daughter had left, he had opened the note.

'From Y/N.

Angel I know you're probably wondering this, so what we did was ...'

Angel blushed, rather his whole face became flushed as he finished reading the note. He could tell that you knew him fairly well since this answered his question exactly, and when he saw you later that day he couldn't stop the thoughts constantly popping up in his head.

— aki

Aki was more so surprised he lived long enough to actually have his own family, but the point that it happened was pleasant to him. He’d lost every person that was there for him in his childhood. Aki felt a sense of warmth knowing that he’d become someone who was now there for others.

Truthfully the idea that a devil hunter lasted in public safety more than 7 years was considered celebratory and it was no secret why. Having a family on top of that? That’s quite the achievement.

But there’s a lot of questions he has, who is his lover? The mother of his child, what’s life like? Has a lot changed? What about Denji and Power, how are they doing? His curiosity shows itself on his face and his son starts off.

“Soooooo, dad like I said I’m your kid and it’s a lot to take in, but I know you have a lot of questions so ask away,” his son says. The kid looks like Aki for sure, he stares at his child’s face and offers a smile. Aki signals for his son to sit down next to them and a father-son talk ensues. “What’s your name kid?” he asks.

“I’m (C/N), and I’m pretty old now,” his son responds. Aki can feel a sense of annoyance, but not with any dislike. “I call you kid a lot huh?” “So you do realizes that you overuse the word,” his son says matter-of-factly. Aki chuckles and continues on, “Yeah uh, who is my lover?”

“Y/n,” and it makes sense, Aki’s noticed your recent starting at him. It wasn’t unwelcome, he could tell you were looking at him with admiration he just didn’t know it was much more. You were his recently assigned partner, one he was tasked to train.

“Mmh, what’s life like?” he asks, trying to sound casual. Aki’s face heated up as it started to settle in that you were a big part of his future. “You and mom are retired married devil hunters, both of you do get called on missions sometimes but it’s really just living and doing normal stuff now,” your son responds.

Aki felt relieved that he let go of his revenge. “How are power and denji?” he asks. “Uncle and Auntie are doing fine, they’re both still in the devil hunting business, you can bet they’re annoying the heck outta me,” your son says sighing. Aki can only smile hearing this.

Everything felt so perfect, he still couldn’t grasp that this was what his future was like. “You decided to be a devil hunter,” Aki comments softly, he genuinely felt slight concern hearing this since he himself has seen many of his coworkers lose their lives.

He watches as, (C/N), his sons face shifts to one of pride. “You don’t have to worry about me father, I know what I’m doing, I got taught by the best of the best after all,” he says. Aki feels proud to hear this, he’s glad knowing that this wasn’t something he pushed on his son. This actually made his curiosity spike again, what about the gun devil, makima, or the agency at his sons time?

“I- I just want to confirm some more, I didn’t force you into devil hunting right? I know I do dislike gun devil and all, what about miss makima-” Aki stops talking as his son cuts him off. “Dad this is my decision, for real, and I don’t know what you’re talking about? The gun devils captured during your time and it’s last appearance was to take down the control devil, Makima,” your son says while shrugging.

Aki couldn't help feeling confused, he had been given no time to ponder over this revelation though, as his son announced his retreat. "Sorry, I've got to go back to my time now father," his son says. Aki feels saddened by this but before he lets his kid go, he makes sure to give him a good hug.

"I'm proud of you, and tell your mom I'm on my way to see her," he says ruffling up his sons hair. He stand there watching as his son laughs and heads on his way with a soft wave.

© 2023 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.

[suiana]

he was there, and then he wasn't (various yandere characters x gn reader) (angstober day 3)

he was there when you first met.

helping you up after someone bumped into you, you couldn't help but blush at the handsome male who helped you up to your feet. calling you adorable with that attractive voice of his... wait, did he just give you his number?! is he implying that he wants to see you again?!

he was there when you two went on your first date.

you had decided to meet that cute guy who helped you up a few days back. i mean, what could possibly go wrong? he looked nice enough, talked charmingly... you're sure it would be fine. and if it doesn't, you could just pretend to have never have met him and go on with your life! what's the worst that could happen?

he was there when you decided to confess to him.

okay, so that first date went better than expected and now you two were dating, fantastic. you two were like two peas in a pod, the perfect duo, soulmates even! geez, you wonder what your life would've been like if he hadn't been there. must've been really lonely since you now felt that your soul is complete.

he was there when you moved in with him

your relationship had progressed really well and smoothly! apart from a few bumps here and there caused by his jealousy and possessiveness, everything else was great! he was an amazing boyfriend, loving and caring for your every need, and he was a great cook! what more could you ask for? plus that dick was 10/10.

so when he brought up taking the next step, of course you agreed! it's like being a married couple already hehe ♡

he was there when you two first fought.

okay so you two got into your first little argument... could you guess what it was for? that's right! he got jealous that you were spending more time with another man, aka your coworker!

it was horrible. i mean, isn't he being too possessive? sure, it may be endesring at first but after a while it gets too suffocating... maybe you should bre-

oh and he's already apologizing with flowers and tears in his eyes?! shit now you feel bad :( why would you even think of breaking up with your sweet boyfriend? he's just perfect for you! so what if he's possessive? you can overlook this tiny fact haha...

he was there when he proposed to you.

you couldn't believe it. is this... actually happening?! the love of your life proposed to you?! holy shit you can't control your feelings right now...

and so, you sobbed into your lover's chest, happily telling him you loved him as he chuckles, stroking your head in an attempt to comfort you. all while having natching rings on your fingers, promised to each other forever more.

and he was there when you realised that it was no more than a happy dream.

and it was the day of your wedding. the day you longed for, only for it to be ruined when you were informed that your lover had been caught in an accident, taking his life away.

sobbing your heart out, it felt like the world had come crashing down on you. you had promised your life with him and he just left so suddenly?!

maybe this was the way the heavenly beings above pulled a joke? causing you to meet your soulmate, making you two fall in love, and then taking him away from you at your happiest? whatever it is, you were now crushed, as though a part of you had been taken away.

seriously... if you knew this would've happened, you wouldn't have gone out on that god forsaken day. because while the times with him were the happiest, the times without him now would be ultimately depressing.

for he was your other half, the one who completes your soul. and when he left, he took half of your soul with him.

dazai osamu(?), gojo satoru, venti, childe, welt yang(?), jingyuan, aki hayakawa, your faves<3

[animeyanderelover]

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, overprotective behavior, jealousy, paranoia, slight non-con, abduction, violence, death

Tags: @saiyara05 @shellofthewell @sadsaidthesadthing @luna-in-love-with-you

Words: 6.5k

The CEO and her bodyguard: Pt.3

Pt.2

It was raining. It was raining as dark clouds covered up the sky as far as you vould see, hiding the beautiful blue sky from your view. You huffed out some air as you sat in the small lobby of your house. Well, it was actually a small hostel designed with some additional room for up to 10 guests but visits on this island were so rare that most of the time it was only you and your parents in here anyways. You were so bored! When was this rain going to stop?

As you sat on one of the chairs on the table whilst gazing outside the window, your head abruptly turned around when you heard the only phone in the entire house ring. You pulled both of your brows up to your forehead. It was quite rare to have some call. Nevertheless, you stood up as you walked quickly to the wooden counter and lifted the handset. Hopefully it would be someone interesting so that you could waste some time whilst waiting for this rain to stop.

"Hello?"

"(y/n)? That's you, right?"

"Oh! Aki-chan! Why are you calling? I thought that you were busy working in Tokyo for their compa...Aki-chan?"

You stopped your excited rambling due to your best friend's unexpected call. Ever since she had moved over to Tokyo in order to work for the Ito Company and you had stayed here, both of you hadn't been able to see each other as often. You had so much you wanted to tell her and had so much you wanted to ask her. But you heard just now over the telephone Aki-chan's troubled and heavy breathing. You knew that sound. Aki always took such deep and strained breaths when she was panicking. And Aki wasn't a person who panicked very easily.

"Hey...What happened, Aki? Try to take deep and long breaths."

You spoke more seriously into the telephone as your mind started racing with reasons why she would call you all of a sudden. If she sounded like this then that was a clear indicator that she hadn't just called to chat with you about how your life was going.

You heard her trying to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth for a few moments as if to gather her composure again and as desperately as you wanted to ask her what was going on, you knew better than to pressure her. Aki needed a bit time to collect herself and would most likely snap at you if you would be even a bit too pushy.

"H-Have Kaito-san and Daisuke-san arrived?" She finally managed to ask when she had calmed down a little bit although her voice still betrayed her with a hint of nervousness. You furrowed your eyebrows instantly when you heard her mentioning their names as you felt a mixture of confusion and irritation stir up somewhere inside your chest.

"What?! They wanted to come back here again? Oh my god, I thought I already made myself clear, especially to Daisuke, that I have no interest in moving over to Tokyo and working for their com-“

"Have they come or haven't they?" Aki repeated herself as the urgency and the fear in her voice became more audible. You paused when you caught on to this as you fell quiet for a while. Aki sounded scared...

"No, they haven't. I didn't even know that they were planning to visit our island." You eventually answered as you glanced outside the window.

You heard Aki's breath stutter over the phone when she heard your words.

"T-they didn't even contact you?"

"No?" You answered her as your confusion only grew.

"Aki...what is going on?" You asked shortly after as you wondered what had gotten into your normally composed and sharp friend. If she sounded that desperate that most likely meant that something really bad had happened and slowly you started feeling a heavy dread sitting in the pit of your stomach by listening to her silent emotional meltdown.

"...I-It's alright. It probably is nothing. Just...don't worry yourself with this. I'm sorry for calling you so suddenly. I don't know what suddenly came over me." Aki eventually replied as you could hear how she tried her hardest to return to her normally detached and rational tone, although you could still sense the stress even if both of you were only talking over the telephone.

"Aki! You are clearly not alright. What happened? Did...did something happen to Daisuke and his father or-"

"I have to end this call right now. Something just came up. I'm really sorry. Goodbye."

You had a perplexed and confused look on your face as Aki just hung up like this and you were left standing in the hostel, your mind reeling as you tried to understand what had just happened.

"What the heck?" You mumbled as you put the telephone down and just stared at it for a while before you let out a long sigh and walked back to the table.

Aki's words were still on your mind though as your gaze focused on the window and what you could see from it, precisely on the ocean you could see from here.

Daisuke and Kaito-san...

As you continued watching the storm and the rain unfold outside, the heaviness in your stomach only increased.

You had a very bad feeling.

~~~

"...oji? Toji! Hey, Toji!"

Green eyes zoomed in on you as he stirred awake from whatever haze his mind had suddenly taken him to. You were sitting on your office desk, a dreadful amount of files piled up on it and no less than 3 telephones placed on the already cramped space. The window behind you revealed a black sky, the lights of the city cutting through the darkness with their brightness.

His eyes darted over to the clock hanging on the wall and he let out a slight groan when he noticed the time.

01:34

“Don’t you space out on me! Your work isn’t over until I am in bed! Also, please stop staring at me.”

A look of mild surprise fell across his face when he heard your words.

“I’ve been staring at you?” He asked you as you saw wrinkles appear on his forehead as he tried to remember where he had been with his mind.

“For nearly 3 minutes. Did I do something? Is something wrong with my face?”

Toji quickly shook his head, grumbling as he tried to remember what had even gone on in his mind prior to your voice waking him up from his trance. He'd just been watching you typing, signing and talking away if he remembered correctly and then the next thing he knew, you had called him out for staring at you. He'd been staring at you again before getting lost in the sight of you, hadn't he? How many times had that happened by now?

"May I ask when the lady plans to head back home?" Toji eventually asked as he decided to switch topics before you could dig any deeper. You took a look at the watch and your eyebrows pulled up to your forehead when you caught a glimpse of the time. Quickly shock turned into embarrassment as you realised how long you had been letting him wait in here for you already.

"Oh...Give me 10 minutes." You mumbled with a sheepish smile that had his heart skip a beat when he saw you directing it to him. He let out a sigh before he leaned back into the couch, throwing his head back although his eyes were still looking at you. You continued scribbling stuff down for a while before you noticed his green eyes still focused on you.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to hurry up! Just-just play on your Nintendo until I'm finished!"

"Can't do that. The battery is empty." Toji replied casually as he lifted his hand slightly up, holding the device with its black screens up for you to see.

Great. Your shoulders slumped as you just gave him a nod. He really had nothing to entertain himself with anymore besides watching you and that made you feel a tad bit guilty. On the other hand you really had to cleanse all those schedules and appointments from your schedule to be able to take some days off. It had been years after all since you had last seen them after all.

~~~

"Your perception of 10 minutes seems to be quite different from my definition." Toji spoke up half-amused as his eyes darted back to the clock.

02:17

"I'm nearly finished. Only 5 more minutes." You muttered out as he could see how your eyes at this point were for longer periods closed than they were open as you sat hunched over your desk, reading through some files.

Your head was resting in one of your hands as it almost seemed like your head was too heavy for you to support only by your neck. You were clearly at your limit now.

"I don't think you'll last 5 minutes." Toji remarked with a grin on his face as he watched you struggling to stay awake. You gave him a tired groan as you desperately tried to focus on the words in front of you, although your sleep-addled brain couldn't grasp the bigger meaning of the sentences anymore. It felt like trying to grab smoke with your hands as you attempted to make sense of those documents. "Not yet..."

~~~

02:36

Soft breaths escaped your lips as your head was laying on the surface of your table. He wasn’t surprised by this sight. You’d been working far too long now for your standards already but for some reason you’d been too stubborn to listen to him. Normally you’d only do what you had to do before eagerly calling it a day. Those last 2 weeks you had worked suspiciously hard though and he was sure you had an ulterior motive for it. Toji did not believe you to just work for work’s sake.

He stood up from the couch and stepped quietly over to you. He bent slightly down, observing your peaceful face. He watched your eyelashes fluttering gently when one of his hands placed itself on your shoulder and carefully shook you.

“(y/n), let’s get you home.”

He whispered in a low voice as he tried to shake you awake. All he got from you was a sleepy grumble as you lifted your head the tiniest bit, your eyes squeezed tightly together as if they were a seal you refused to open.

In only a mere few seconds your head dropped back onto the table as you went back to sleeping, leaving Toji just standing over you. Honestly, he was used to you having a bit more of an irregular sleep schedule since you were a fairly energetic person but the countless hours of works had really drained you. It was rather cute though, watching you sleeping so calmly.

“Fine then.” He mumbled as he heaved you out of your chair before he lifted you up in his arms. His one hand roughly pushed everything into your handbag that you had taken with you from home before walking out of the office, switching the light off before walking down the corridors. Since it was fairly late, there were barely any people left. Strangely enough he didn’t know if he should have been disappointed or relieved about this.

A part of him somehow almost wanted the people who worked for you to see him carrying you around like he did. When his eyes laid on your resting form in his hold though, another part of him felt a biting heat somewhere in his heart that only got worse when he considered others seeing you in such a vulnerable and precious state. He didn’t want them to see you right now as you slumbered away so blissfully in his arms.

Maybe it was for the best that he really didn’t see anybody else as he headed to the car with you. He carefully placed you on the passenger seat and buckled your seatbelt on for you. His body brushed against yours as he did so and he could feel your warmth even through your clothes. His heart reacted to those brushes of body against body as he felt the organ pounding faster and harder against his rib cage. He swallowed heavier than he had expected as the scent of your faint and fruity perfume filled his brain.

Dark pupils dilated a bit as your scent invaded his nostrils and he took in the sleepy and innocent sight he had in front of him. Vulnerable, defenseless and solely relying on his protection. You really were trusting him a lot, weren’t you?

His breath deepened a tad bit as his heartbeat increased and he could feel his own blood rushing through his body. Green eyes were zooming in on your face as he drank in the sight of you. From your fluttering eyelashes to your softly parted lips glistening with your lipstick before his eyes traveled further down to your chest, your stomach and your thighs.

His mind started spinning as images filled his head and he was pretty sure that if Yukimaru would have known of any of them, she would have fired him. He abruptly pulled away from you, taking a few steps backwards as he let out a deep breaths through his lips. One of his hands ran through his black locks as he tried to clear all thoughts out of his head. You didn’t stir awake as you continued to sleep blissfully and he couldn’t help the spark of arousal he felt upon seeing you so deeply asleep.

He paced back and forth for a few minutes, his heart pounding with thrill and his blood rushing through his body before Toji felt capable enough to also sit down in the car to drive you to your apartment.

~~~

Yukimaru wasn’t waiting in the lobby when he walked into the building with you peacefully asleep on his bag. Toji was pleasantly surprised when he spotted her nowhere but then again, it was 03:13 am already so perhaps even she had already fallen asleep by now. He could have called her and Toji had no doubt that she would have answered his call and would have hurried down within 5 minutes whilst decently dressed to bring you to the 4th floor.

But was that really neccessary when he could just do the same?

He had only been in your apartment once when he had first signed the contract to be your bodyguard and he was sure that you wouldn't hold it against him. You weren't Yukimaru after all who still had a vendetta against him for not having told him about the accident a few months ago when you had invited him into the izakaya where both of you had met for the first time and had been followed on the way home. Yukimaru would just make everything unneccesarily complicated.

He rummaged through your handbag before fishing the key out amongst all of the content stuffed inside and headed with you to the lift. Honestly, you had a lot of random things just stuffed inside of your handbag that it honestly took him a while to find the small key. You had some KitKat inside there with a lot of different flavors, some cute clingers you had probably just bought on impulse whilst wandering around outside, your flip phone and some files that you were probably planning to go through whilst in the comfort of your apartment. There was also a picture of what he assumed was an island there, somewhat wrinkled around the edges already as it looked to be older than all of the other stuff you had in your bag.

As he turned the key around and pressed the now activated button to allow the lift to go to the highest floor, he wondered when he would also receive one of those keys. He was the only one who lived in this building who didn't have a key and that despite having worked for you since more than a year. Admittedly, the only people living here were Sone, Yukimaru and you but it was still strange. Wasn't he doing a good job? Weren't you trusting him? Or was it Yukimaru who just prevented you from giving him also a key because she didn't trust him yet?

He squeezed his eyes shut to silence all of those thoughts as he brought you to your apartment, unlocking this door too after having found the right device to do in your handbag. His eyes couldn't help but briefly dart around the interior as he hadn't been here since over a year ago although he didn't admire your home for too long before he started looking for your bedroom. After 3 failed attempts by walking into the wrong room because you had too many of them, he finally found your bedroom.

He carefully placed you onto the mattress. And then he just looked at you. He should have left your apartment right now because his job was done. But instead he just stood there over your form sprawled on the bed, green eyes slowly moving up and down your body before landing on your face. There was something very serene about your sleeping face. There was something very beautiful about you.

He swallowed as he felt his heart pounding against his ribcage again as the desire from earlier returned. It felt like with every heartbeat heat slowly spread through his veins as his eyes trailed greedily down your body, focusing on the sliver of skin he could see through your black blouse that was slightly pushed up your stomach. His hands twitched before they slowly moved up and grabbed your hip. Green eyes were glued to your face, ready to pull back and disappear if you should give him any sign that you were about to wake up. Yet nothing happened as your exhaustion had gifted you with a deep sleep.

One of his hands slowly pushed itself underneath your blouse, his fingers massaging the warm skin and flesh on your stomach whilst his other hand trailed up and down your form, feeling every curve on your body. He could feel the heat in his body increasing as he savored the warmth of your skin, his fingers slowly creeping up further until he brushed against the material of your bra.

This was wrong.

He knew that this could get him easily fired if anyone would find out about this. He knew that he should stop this. He knew that he should have probably felt bad about molesting you whilst you were asleep from a hard and long day at work.

Yet besides a very tiny amount of guilt, Toji didn't feel bad. No, he enjoyed this.

His lips met your own as he leaned down to your face. At first it was still in a more careful manner but as soon as the feeling of your soft lips filled his senses, he got more frisky as the kiss got rougher and more heated. Hands started grabbing your body in a tighter hold, squeezing your warm flesh and Toji couldn't help the groan when he felt his cock tightening against his pants.

Fuck...He really wanted to...

The moment a grumble left your lips, his thoughts stopped. He instantly removed himself from you, slightly-alarmed and still half-aroused. You turned to the other side of the bed, your back now facing him as you continued grumbling for a while until you had found a comfortable position. Only then did you stop squirming around. Toji didn't move, focusing on your still body and your even breath before he slowly started to move again.

His own breath was much more irregular than your own as he still felt his blood rushing through his veins in excitement.

You were still asleep. You hadn't woken up. He could still-

He abruptly turned around and left your bedroom, hurrying down the floor before leaving your apartment entirely, quietly shutting the door behind him. He didn't stop though as he walked with fast and long footsteps down the corridor until he stepped into the lift and pressed the button to the third floor.

His mind was racing as he pressed himself against the wall of the elevator. There were so many things he would have needed to comprehend yet the time in the lift was too short for him to even begin to grasp what had just happened. A few seconds just passed with him staring outside the lift before he finally pushed himself away from the wall. His eyes quickly landed on Yukimaru's door as soon as he stepped outside the elevator because the last thing he would have needed right now would have been getting stuck in a one-sided conversation with her where she would most likely belittle and scold him again for something. Yet he couldn't hear any steps from behind her door.

So even Yukimaru Aki wasn't working all the time whils simultanously acting like a mild helicopter parent when it came to you, huh?

He still made an effort to silently unlock the door to his apartment and silently closing it behind him just in case. He took his shoes off and then he just stood there in the floor of his apartment, staring at the space in front of him.

Logically speaking he should have just headed to bed to get a whiff of sleep before standing up again in about 2 hours. However, he doubted that he could. Not with his heart beating so loudly against his chest. Not with his blood and arousal pumping through his body. Not with the racing thoughts he could barely manage to organise.

Toji let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his slightly tousled hair. His eyes wandered down his own body as he examined his own erection before his eyes darted to the bathroom. A shower was out of question unless he wanted to risk waking Yukimaru up but he supposed taking a bath wouldn't be so bad right now.

He discarded his shirt carelessly on the ground as soon as he stepped inside the bathroom and quickly turned on the faucet, turning it around until the water was steaming as it poured inside the bathtub. He watched the process with only half of his mind there as the other one drifted elsewhere.

He pursed his lips as they started tingling when he recalled what he had just done with you in an attempt to get rid of the sensation of your warm lips pressed against his own.

He felt his heart picking up its speed again as an unfamiliar feeling started filling him, something that surpassed the simple physical desires even if a part of him would have wanted to just let those sensations stay at nothing more than sexual needs.

It was a genuine yearning for you. A genuine yearning to have you pressed underneath his own body, to feel your every inch against him and to never let go of your warmth. He wanted to keep you inside his arms, never let another man near you, never let anyone keep him away from you...

When he felt a hot sensation sloshing against his fingers, his green eyes regained their focus. The bathtub was nearly filled to the brim with steaming hot water and he hadn't even realised until now. He quickly turned the faucet off before the water could spill on the floor even more and was forced to drain a bit of the liquid in the bathtub unless he wanted to spill half of it as soon as he would step inside.

He removed the last few pieces of clothing from his body before he finally got inside and he had to swallow the tiniest groan that he wanted to let out when the hot water engulfed his still erect and much more sensitive member. Toji tried to ignore the throbbing sensation though as he tilted his head back, his eyelids partially closed as he stared at the white ceiling.

He was trying to will his heartbeat to slow down yet the more he tried to relax, the worse it got. Thoughts of you kept on popping up, some memories of his and some images that only made him more aware of his aching erection.

He wouldn't have really cared about jerking off in the bathtub normally but it was the fact that he couldn't pin this down to mere sexual lust that had him hesitate. His eyes narrowed when he tried to recall when exactly his feelings for you who should have just been another source for money had changed so drastically. This wasn't like him.

The last woman he had had a thing with, he couldn't even remember her face nor her name, had exactly been what he had thought you to be when he had initially accepted your job offer. She had been a little fountain of money for him to get by for a while and she had been only loved for her money and her usefulness when it came to sexually pleasing him. Now that he thought about it, he faintly remembered something else about her. Didn't that woman also have a child of her own? Had they been a girl or a boy? Toji just couldn't remember.

Yet he could remember everything about you so clearly. He remembered your addiction to KitKat and all the weird flavors this country thought the people would enjoy as well as your addiction to coffee since you couldn't properly work without at least one cup of this liquid in the early morning. He remembered how you had one time bought him multiple boxes of beer just for him to prove to you that he really couldn't get drunk and even the one ridiculous time where you had asked him to squeeze an apple in his hands with all of his strength. He could still recall the look of amazement when the fruit had turned into puree in his hand and he even remembered the one time where Aki had to hold you back from buying a watermelon because you had wanted him to squish that thing with his biceps. Sometimes you really had just such spontanous and silly ideas, didn't you?

You were different from the last woman he had hooked up with solely for money and sexual relief. You weren't just another source of money or pleasure. You...you were something more, weren't you?

This was a problem.

He had never even expected in the slightest to develop feelings for one of his clients. He hadn't loved any woman since...

"Take care of Megumi for me."

He all but ripped the small hand shower attached to the bathtub out of its hold and turned the faucet on. His one hand abruptly turned the handle around until the water pouring out of the hand shower was almost scorching hot. His skin flushed as he just poured the hot water over his head, his neck, his shoulders and the little bit of his chest that was peeking out from the water that was already in the bathtub.

When he turned the faucet off again, his skin had turned red from the exposure to the very hot water. Wet strands of hair were covering his eyes but he didn't care enough to slick them back. He didn't want to care about anything.

He didn't want to remember...

~~~

Aki stirred only half-awake from her sleep. Not enough to sit up, not even enough to open her heavy eyelids. Just enough to be faintly aware that she was awake and cuddled up in her blanket.

She let out a tired grunt as she managed to gather the strength to turn around to the other side of her bed, determined to use every minute she had left before her alarm clock would wake her up and she would start her routine of taking a quick and lukewarm shower, dressing up, taking a quick breakfast and applying her makeup before driving with either Sone-san or (y/n) to the company to work.

Speaking of (y/n), had she actually already returned by now. Aki hoped so because as much as she appreciated your new fervor of working as hard as you did, she didn't want you to overwork yourself too many nights in a row. Although Aki probably wasn't the best person to scold you for this as she herself had been often guilty for that. She knew that this zealousy would end in only a few days though as soon as you had emptied your schedule enough to deserve a few days off. You'd been working so hard in order to make time to travel back there after all.

How long had it been since Aki had last been there? 4 years? Yes, that sounded about right. The last time the both of you had been there had been after the death of Kaito-san and Daisuke-san when Sone-san had told you that you had been appointed the new CEO of the Ito company. It had been Daisuke's last wish before he had died in the hospital after all...

Aki had been that close to drifting back to sleep again when she heard a muffled groan which she assumed was coming from Fushiguro's apartment. She tiredly lifted her head, her eyes half-closed as she stared at the wall separating her and Fushiguro's apartment as she blearily tried to listen for another one of those sounds. What had that sound been in the first place? There were no animals that he kept as far as she knew next to the fact that pets were forbidden in this building anyways.

She waited for a minute or two before the muscles in her neck grew sore and she let her head flop back on the pillow again. She was not willing to stay awake and listen to what her neighbour was doing in his apartment if she hadn't just imagined that sound altogether.

~~~

"Waiting for (y/n) down here?" Sone asked him as him and Yukimaru left the elevator together, both of them about to drive to the company. Toji was sitting on the small couch in the lobby, already dressed up. Green eyes cracked open when he heard the older man's voice and instead of saying anything, he just gave a nod before tilting his head back again.

"You look a bit tired. When exactly did (y/n) and you arrive here last night?" This time he didn't look back up when it was this time Yukimaru asking him the question. Instead he just answered in a few short sentences.

"Don't know exactly. After 3am."

"She really is turning more like you now, wouldn't you agree?" Sone spoke up again, amused as he directed his question at Yukimaru.

"She is working quite hard now but that definitely won't be a permanent thing. We all know that she'll go back to her old ways as soon as she has cleared out her schedule."

"You're probably right but I think it's better that way."

"I agree with you...I wonder if I should call her again to ask where she is."

"There is no need to call her again. I'm sure she'll come any moment now. Why don't we already drive to the company. (y/n) is under professional protection after all."

"...Fine. Let's go. Fushiguro-san, you should probably start packing your stuff slowly. We'll most likely leave in only a few more days if (y/n) keeps up her work like this."

What?

What did that mean? Was there some unannounced business trip he hadn't been told about yet? He wanted to ask Yukimaru what she meant by that but both of them had already left the building at that point and he ultimately didn't care enough to stand up and follow them. He would just ask you about this.

It took you probably about 5 minutes more before you finally came out of the lift with slow steps, your makeup unable to hide your tired expression. Toji stood up as soon as he saw you, taking in your exhausted form. You blinked a few times in a comedically tired way before you looked up to see his face.

"Toji, we need to stop by at a convenience store before driving to work. I need at least 2 more cups coffee if I want to function today."

"Sure. We can do that." He simply answered you, waiting for you as you trudged off to the parking lot before following you. Like that you didn't realise how he was scrutinizing you. It didn't seem like you could remember anything from last night. This was good. He didn't know what had come over him only a few hours ago but those feelings for you were still there. He could feel them rushing through his body as he looked how you dragged yourself to the car before opening the door and flopping down into the passenger seat.

"Thank you for bringing me to my apartment after work by the way. It was you who brought me there, right?"

You asked in a lazy voice as soon as he sat down in the car as well. He gave you a short nod as he started the engine. So you really weren't aware of anything that had happened.

Your head was turned around as your gaze was half-focused on the scenery you could see outside the window as the car left the parking lot.

"You know, I had a really weird dream." You suddenly spoke up out of the blue whilst he was driving, the earlier tiredness and laziness in your voice suddenly gone. Your head was still turned away but as Toji dared to quickly dart his eyes to your side, he realised that you were looking at him through the reflection of the window. You were observing his reactions.

"Really? What dream?" He asked as casually as possible whilst focusing on the streets.

"I don't really remember too clearly. I think you were inside my dream." You answered with a slight hum to your tone that told him that you couldn't clearly recall clearly what had happened but the way your eyes gazed at his reflection in the window told him everything he needed to know. You were suspecting him.

"I was in your dream? Hope it was a nice one then." He replied as the streets outside the car started filling with people as both of you drove into the parts of the city that were always full.

"I haven't made up my mind yet whether I should consider it as a nice dream or not."

There was tension. He could sense it even if neither of you were looking at each other. He had to stop himself from gripping the wheel any tighter in his hands as he kept his posture as relaxed and casual as possible.

"Aki woke me up this morning by giving me a call to remind me kindly to get the fuck up. I nearly overslept there so I'm grateful at least. Whilst we were talking a bit on the phone though, she mentioned to me that she thought that she heard a few weird noises from your apartment. She was not even half-awake though so she just brushed it off as unimportant and went back to sleep."

Fuck.

"Didn't you go directly to sleep after you brought me to my apartment? You know that Aki wouldn't like knowing that my bodyguard isn't in the best condition whilst protection me."

He couldn't answer too quick nor could he take too long. So Toji just decided to answer your question with a little bit of truth.

"I couldn't really sleep last night so I just took a bath instead."

"...A bath?"

That's when you turned your head to him again, your eyelids apparently still quite heavy but your gaze still somewhat sharp.

"You fit into the bathtub?"

He let out an airy chuckle when he heard your question.

"I'm not an actual giant, you know?"

"You're taller and broader than the average Japanese men by a few good measurements. And to some people you definitely are a real life giant. I know that Aki sometimes thinks of you that way at least."

"It isn't hard to be taller than Aki."

"Hey, don't just say that so casually. I know people who are even tinier than Aki. I think both of us are just spoiled by being taller than the average Japanese men and women. And even I feel small when standing next to you."

Both of you were currently definitely dabbling into a lighter conversation but Toji was still sensing your gaze glued to him. He was thinking more carefully now whether or not he should say something next or if he should wait for you to continue the conversation.

Luckily for him though the closest convenience store he could find just came into his vision as he quickly steered the car to the small parking lot in front of it.

You quickly stumbled out of the car as soon as he had stopped the engine, desperate for more caffeine. Toji was quick to follow you. It didn't seem like you planned to speak up again which normally was the case but you were tired after all so you weren't yourself right now. When both of you entered the store though, he remembered a question that he had been meaning to ask you since his earlier encounter with Sone and Yukimaru.

"Talking about weird things Aki mentions, she told me something interesting earlier too."

"Really? What did she tell you?"

"She mentioned that I should start packing my things. We going somewhere or what? I don't know about anything upcoming where we have to leave."

You shortly slowed down even further with your steps.

"Dang it. That's right. I completely forgot to tell you."

Your voice finally shifted somewhat back to your normal tone even if you still sounded tired.

"So we are leaving Tokyo for something?"

"You bet we do. I haven't worked my butt off for all those days without something to motivate me."

"I assume that it isn't anything related to business then." Toji guessed as he heard your words because he knew that you rarely worked with work as your one and only motive.

"It definitely isn't."

"So where are we going?"

"Oshima Island."

"...Never heard of it."

"I don't blame you. It's an island close to Tokyo."

"Why are we going there of all places?"

"...I never told you, did I?" You asked as you tilted your head to look at him whilst finally finding the section where this store sold all the coffee. Toji narrowed his eyes when he heard your question. Your tone was quite light now but he could somehow sense that you were about to tell him something important.

"Aki and I grew up on this island. I'm visiting my parents there."

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

[continued from here] [first post for October 18th]

Akhiko can’t remember a single time when the silence between them felt so awkward. 

Tense, sure– especially recently. But never like this.

Akihiko wonders if Shinji can tell just how frustrated he’s getting. Probably; they’ve always been able to read each other pretty well, Shinji especially– with the uncanny talent of getting even better at it whenever Akihiko particularly doesn’t want to be read.

Dammit, this is not how he’d wanted this to go. This isn’t how he wants to feel while talking to Shinji after facing the uncertainty of whether he’d ever get the chance to again. Why the hell is it happening this way? Why can’t things just make sense? 

With all the knowledge Akihiko has now, things feel too different. The fact that Shinji had kept quiet about all of it just makes it even worse, and he doesn’t even have the decency to be apologetic about it. It’s like he doesn’t even care that he could still drop dead at any given moment, despite all they’ve been through. Like it doesn’t matter to him at all what that would do to the rest of the team, to Mitsuru, to Akihiko–

It’s ridiculous. It’s infuriating.

Akihiko takes a deep breath in and out through his nose in a way he hopes is subtle enough to go unnoticed. He needs to change the topic again.

Akihiko groans. Of course. Of course that’s the first thing Shinji remembers. Why on earth should he have expected his luck to be any less terrible than that? As if he didn’t feel shitty enough.

He doesn’t sound sorry in the least. Fresh, caustic heat flares in Akihiko’s chest. The last thread of his self-control is getting more and more taut and frayed, and one stray spark really will make it snap. He can’t hide how high his temper is rising anymore, even if he could still be bothered to.

One stray spark. Akihiko surges up to stand, fists clenched at his sides and shaking with fury.

Shinji blinks at him, slack-jawed and stunned, and Akihiko is torn between an ugly sort of satisfaction and feeling even more infuriated, because how the hell could any of this come as a shock to him? Isn’t this exactly what Shinji’s been goading him on to since the moment Akihiko walked through the door this morning?

Since long, long before then– Shinji’s been pushing and prodding and herding him towards this cliff since the moment he walked out of the dorm with no intention of ever coming back, and now he has the audacity to act surprised that Akihiko’s gone over the edge?

“What do you think would’ve happened if Amada had actually killed you, huh? Did you really think he’d be just fine after that? Did you think that would’ve solved anything? That it would be anything other than taking the easy way out?

“I never would have thought you could be that much of a coward,” Akihiko sneers, venomous. Poison for poison, repaying what Shinji had spat out like a cobra a month ago. Shinji winces and looks away, but he remains silent.

Good, because Akihiko isn’t nearly finished. “And did you even stop to think for one second about the people who give a shit about you? About what it would do to us if you just went off and died without saying a word?!”

“Aki–” Something odd has crept into Shinji’s expression, but Akihiko steamrolls over it, too caught up in his own vehement momentum to spare a thought for curious inconsistencies. Blood roars in his ears and his throat singes and stings.

“What would I have told Miki if you went out like that? Were you fine with breaking your promise to her too? Is that it?!”

“Aki.”

“Because you’ve gotten so good at that, haven’t you? Going back on your word, leaving people behind–”

“Aki.”

Shinji barely raises his voice, but it still cuts right through Akihiko’s even though he’s practically shouting at this point. It’s only now that it dawns on Akihiko how loud he was being. Just like that, all of his anger snuffs out, so suddenly that it leaves him dizzy and cold.

Dizzy, and cold, and ill– every malignant word of his tirade echoes punishingly around his skull. The blood drains from his face.

“I– Shinji, I’m–” His voice has gone thin and shivery. “I’m sorry. I didn’t–”

“Don’t be sorry,” Shinji replies quietly, not looking at him. “The only reason I stopped you was ‘cause I don’t want them to kick you out.”

Akihiko can hardly wrap his head around what Shinji’s saying. He has every right to want to get rid of Akihiko by any means necessary after all of that. He should want to, why wouldn’t he want to–

God, and for him to bring Miki into it? Akihiko’s never felt so ashamed in his life. Using her memory as a weapon– what kind of person does that?

Akihiko wants to tear into his hair in frustration– at Shinji, at himself, at everything. He wants to climb right out of his skin. “I shouldn’t have said any of–”

“Yeah, you should have.” Shinji locks his gaze pointedly to Akihiko’s. “You needed to say it, and–” His eyes slide away again. “...and I think I needed to hear it.”

Akihiko collapses back into the chair, slumping forward over his knees. “Why aren’t you angry?” The question is pleading, almost desperate.” I– I was awful to you just now.” 

“You weren’t wrong, though. Not like I didn’t earn pretty much all of it.” Shinji laughs– laughs– and Akihiko feels like he’s going to be sick. “‘Sides, it…sounded like that’s been building up for a while.”

What is he supposed to say? What can he say?

Nothing. That’d be best.

He’s already said enough.