#among PLENTY of other things
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Pov you repeatedly find cool sounding modern āgothicā media only to find out itās really shit overly edgy 13-year-oldās-Wattpad-story level shit that romanticises suicide and mental illness ādepression and self harm is quirky and everyone else with a mental illness is crazyā style instead of commentating on and delving into it and exploring the darkest elements of the human condition through romanticism without presenting them as a good thing or gatekeeping who has it worse:
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#*cough*#the asylum for wayward victorian girls#*cough cough*#among PLENTY of other things#oh and just btw#*there is a romanticism and existential beauty to be found in human suffering* =/= *mental illness and self harm makes you quirky#seeing a certain level of romanticism in ALL aspects of the human condition including the bad BECAUSE it is human does NOT translate to#*I shouldnāt seek help and glorify my problems as a good thing because being mentally ill is cool actually*#donāt do that!#Christ!#anyway#gothic lit#gothic literature#goth lit#gothic media
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bad thing about pay per views is they end and i have way too many things to draw now
#i need to draw swerve in his pigtails#zay and quen hugging#orange cassidy and nicky#among plenty of other things
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watching a playthrough of the prologue while doing other things and what im gathering is that i need to draw my human loop with heavier eye bags
#among other things but This Is Utmost Importance#OH and i need to make their pupils sharper#this is a distinction . incredibly important#INCREDIBLY.#theyre alr plenty cat like in the second game i just#i need to aizawaaa them#does this make sense. tired cat#lantern says stuff
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on the heels of my realization that nathaniel and theodore are the same name, anybody got any guesses about what 'aristobulus' might calque from hebrew into greek? 'best-plan'?
#not applicable to the hasmonean aristobulus i whose name we know was judah#but aristobulus seems to have been a common name in hellenistic judea and not just among the royal family#i know philo of alexandria was jedediah so i suspect there's similar calquing going on with some other names#although plenty of other names seem to have been 'translated' based on sounding similar#joshua=jason and simcha(s)=symmachus. that kind of thing#although idk how honi=menelaus but that seems to have been a thing too#mine
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Does Auger prefer to eat meat or vegetables? Is Auger violent or passive? What about... sugarcube?...
For those creations by Lazarus which eat (if they do) meat, are they capable of consuming "Carne Nullis" or would it cause them to become mutated due to contact with his blood? (Or does it have to be fresh blood from his blood stream)?
It was written that Hieronymous is 'unstable' and is 'always in need of repair'. Does that mean Hieronymous is unstable mentally, or physically? I noticed in the drawing that Hieronymous looks sickly with no fur of Hieronymous' own, but Shelley had bits of Shelley's own fur growing and looked strong and vibrant. What causes Hieronymous, in your canon, to be unstable versus Shelley being strongly stable? Is it related to the Cadou, Lazarus' powers, or something else entirely?
Is Hieronymous' nature of being able to like or dislike people even though Hieronymous is very aggressive relative to Hieronymous' instability, or just a quirk of Hieronymous' personality? Are the Wear-Wolves positive/less aggressive to those with a Cadou vs those without, or it doesn't matter? Is it possible for them to have a passive or friendly interaction with a mere stranger, say, if that stranger were to offer them a snack?
Do Wear-Wolves only eat fresh meat, or can they eat cooked, rendered meats? Is there something a Wear-Wolf really cannot have, like chocolate or raisins, or do they forego the typical drawbacks of actual canines?
Ooooo hoohohoho!! I Love this! What excellent thought provoking questions!! Thank you so much!!
under a cut for obvious Length reasons v-v
Does Auger prefer to eat meat or vegetables?
Auger was made specifically with the idea in mind that he can, and would, consume Anything. You could feed that lad a Tree Branch if you wanted to. He doesn't really have organs the same way a regular horse would, or even the same way the Worn Wolves do. He's got what is essentially a large grinder for an abdomen, in which any consumed material gets ground into nothing. As such he doesn't really express much of a preference. He'll eat whatever he's fed. He does get to graze in the summer on nice fresh grass cause there is a horse brain In There, Kinda. but when fresh foliage is short in the winter he eats a lotta old hay or bark and such. (Lazarus's creations don't have the same nutritional needs as a normal animal/person? per say? Even a human augmented by cadou/megamycete still needs to eat a balanced diet, but because Lazarus's creations are all hodge-podged together and ambulated exclusively via Mold Magic they just kinda need.. Something in the tank to give them energy, and even then.. Laz is Dubious that that's really the case.)
Is Auger violent or passive? What about... sugarcube?...
I wouldn't say Auger is actively Aggressive, but he's.. like... Fight is his first response to anything he doesn't like. He's cool with Lazarus (most of the time) but everyone else is pretty iffy (In the imaginary version of the game in that exists in my head that has Laz in it Auger is actually a mini boss Ethan fights before getting knocked tf out) Even Karl he's pretty ehhhh with.. So sugar cube? You could try, But Watch Out!
For those creations by Lazarus which eat (if they do) meat, are they capable of consuming "Carne Nullis" or would it cause them to become mutated due to contact with his blood? (Or does it have to be fresh blood from his blood stream)?
SO! This was an interesting one and I really had to ponder on it because I somehow had not at all thought about someone (except maybe Lazarus himself because he's a Freak) trying to eat Carne Nullis.. let alone Laz feeding it to his creations... I think it Is Technically edible. BUT If you are a person who is not predisposed to have a favourable reaction to Cadou/megamycete it will cause you Harm. Because it's really like a weird mixture of actual meat and The Mold, in a similar way to how Ethan is both a Meat Boy and a Mold Boy. But if you're reaction to Cadou/megamycete is stable it's just like a really mid and kinda musty cut of whatever meat it was generated from initially.
Because, then, his creations are dependent on Cadou to live, they can eat Carne Nullis just fine. They don't usually, because Lazarus kinda needs his blood, but they Could. (To answer a sorta sub-question I see nestled in there as well; Once Lazarus's blood has like.. fully formed and become Carne Nullis it no longer holds its mutative growth property. Only when it's still liquid can it grow or mold the extra flesh)
It was written that Hieronymous is 'unstable' and is 'always in need of repair'. Does that mean Hieronymous is unstable mentally, or physically?
Physically, poor thing is always in need of replacement parts or restitching, and Lazarus has just given up at trying to figure out how to get eyes to not immediately rot out of his head..
I noticed in the drawing that Hieronymous looks sickly with no fur of Hieronymous' own, but Shelley had bits of Shelley's own fur growing and looked strong and vibrant. What causes Hieronymous, in your canon, to be unstable versus Shelley being strongly stable? Is it related to the Cadou, Lazarus' powers, or something else entirely?
It's all in the material really. Lazarus sources a few different things for the flesh that makes up his creations, the Worn Wolves in particular are comprised primarily of actual wolf/dog parts, a little bit of human, and Lycan meat/skin (with little filler bits from other animals where necessary).
Lycans are tricky in terms of quality, as they're already proven unstable against the cadou so getting the right combination of A Strong(er) Lycan, a Good Amount of stable material from other sources, and balancing it all to react well to the Cadou can be Finicky. Once all the parts are together and Lazarus is satisfied with the result they are injected with partial little chunks of Cadou which brings them to "life". So Laz's powers really don't factor into the stability too much, once the sculpting is finished the end result is really in the hands of the flesh's reaction to the Cadou, which is something that's really hard to predict with 100% certainty.
Heironymous isn't the Only unstable worn wolf, he's just the Most unstable. (and has become the Little Baby of the pack because of it.) He was one of the earlier experiments and Lazarus hadn't got the formula exact yet, where Shelley was formed later in the pack, but her relative strength made her the Leader.
Is Hieronymous' nature of being able to like or dislike people even though Hieronymous is very aggressive relative to Hieronymous' instability, or just a quirk of Hieronymous' personality?
Just his personality. The worn wolves are probably Lazarus's most successful venture. His most Complete Works, in terms of overall functionality and... Lively-ness (Auger being a close second, and a creation I've yet to reveal that he collaborated with Karl on that is leagues beyond anything either of them made alone >:3c) So each of them is actually pretty Dog-Like in that they have determinable personalities and are capable of like.. Being Clever (where something like Auger is mostly reactionary) or being Calm, or learning to trust other people etc.. But Heironymous's particular docility is also probably in part because he is so often Babied, by the other wolves and by Lazarus.
There all very aggressive innately but they are also, for lack of a better word, Well Trained. Are the Wear-Wolves positive/less aggressive to those with a Cadou vs those without, or it doesn't matter?
That doesn't particularly matter, they're aggressive at whoever Lazarus directs them to be aggressive at.
Is it possible for them to have a passive or friendly interaction with a mere stranger, say, if that stranger were to offer them a snack?
It Is! In fact! there is a very important Character in FaHI I have yet to introduce; Johanna, Lazarus's young assistant, who does exactly this!
Do Wear-Wolves only eat fresh meat, or can they eat cooked, rendered meats?
They could eat cooked meat, but they wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much.
Is there something a Wear-Wolf really cannot have, like chocolate or raisins, or do they forego the typical drawbacks of actual canines?
Though they share a large amount of their material body with like.. actual dogs, I think the added human/lycan parts of their composition and the fact they are puppeted by weird Mold Magic moots any foods ill effects.. they aren't Quite Auger, you couldn't feed them Sticks, but like.. they could eat some raisins.
This was so much fun!!! thank you so much for sending this!!! I take a very "I don't have to explain myself to you as long as it all Seems internally logically consistent" approach to story telling so a few of these really made me think!
#bartholomew speaks#re8 oc#lord lazarus bosch#for as much as I try these days not to get Too bogged down in Lore Weeds in favour of spending time on plot and character#I dooooooo love to go back to my roots and just Make Shit up about How Stuff Works#vwv#Johanna though! I'll give her a little bit of an intro here in case anyone is curious#She's a young woman from the Village (probably early 20's)#She's sort of a weird outcast among her peers#and after this that and the other thing is dared to break into Lazarus's property#(a common challenge among village youth#see if how far you make it into the hedge maze before encountering The Horrors..)#So she gets tossed into the maze and basically abandoned#and after struggling and running from a few of the shambling mass she makes it out the other side of the maze and runs head-long#into the worn wolves#She keeps them from attacking her by literally throwing the lunch she had in her bag at them - which they chase after Immediately#Seeing this she kinda.. just realizes that these things are just.. big weird dogs.. basically#she slips away back out the hedge maze#and then continues to come back every couple days to hang out and befriend the Weird Dogs#in this quiet and honestly kinda peaceful back garden where she can draw and write and read without worrying about the other youths#Until Lazarus finally fucking Catches her back there#but I don't wanna spoil the whole arc v-v#Heironymous likes he plenty but it's actually a different Worn Wolf (That Johanna names Ghost) that favours her the most#Ghost is the tallest of the Worn wolves and she's the one that's completely hairless in the one sketch i've drawn with all 8 of them in it
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When I figure out how to write gay fanfiction for The Brutalist itās over for yāall
#thereās plenty of interesting studies and things like that you could do with Van Buren#but I donāt feel equipped to deal with that kind of trauma or that subject matter#no Iām writing this out of a desire to see LĆ”szlĆ³ brushed and pet and fussed over#among other thingsā¦#donāt take this as a slight on ErzsĆ©bet I love ErzsĆ©bet#itās her movie as much as LĆ”szlĆ³ās#but at the end of the day I just want to see LĆ”szlĆ³ tap into that element of babygirl all beautiful men have#and he is. remarkably beautiful#Brodyheads get it#been obsessed with the brutalist lately but I refuse to post about it#on this site?#are you kidding??#I gotta give yāall at least a good five years weāre still on BBC Merlin rn#I love it dearly though#stay regular everyone āļø
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Hiiii you weren't on anon so I screenshotted just in case
Yippee!! Welcome to fob farms! š®š¤ š I do hope to be doing a lot more content fleshing out that world in this next chapter of my life. Tbqh I've never run into hucow content of men, so I feel a little bit like I want to create the content I'm imagining, with a very specific tone to it. It's sooooo wild to me how scared I was to bring this fetish up the first time and now I know more than one person who's into it š¤
#its very be the change you want to see in the world to me alsndjslsnsl#im sure there is plenty of male hucow stuff out there its just that ive never bumped into it in all my years and i want to fill that gap#im getting more and more tempted to just unroll an all comic format thing of it because i want it to be more than just a little costume#hi im here to make weirdo content and im so glad yall are down for that#we are gonna milk that man#among other things fjslsjdsksj#anyways happy to have you!!#fob farms#not art#yall bringing me joy#cowtrick#peterick
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I hate when people say Hannibal "ruined" Will's perfect life with Molly shuuut up Will made his own choices. Will conveniently walked his dogs when Jack was there and left Molly alone with him knowing he would show her crime scene photos and she'd try to make Will go. He said he knew what he was doing going back after Molly got hurt. Hannibal told him not to come back even and Will ingored it! We need to acknowledge Will is a manipulative person and makes his own choices
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#anon i am so sorry i took ages to post this. its been over a month i hope youre hanging in there#hannibal confessions#nbc hannibal#hannibal#im so sorry for ranting here! couldnt help myself.#about hannibal telling will not to go back... he did say that BUT because he knew will wouldnt#listen to him. will has problems with authority god damn it. course he wouldnt listen. i think im more upset with molly in this scenario#because she pushed will to do something he expressed uneasiness for. she pressured him. he guilt tripped him into going.#ik will makes his own choices but as someone who has been guilt tripped frequently by someone im supposed to trust. its not easy to ignore.#doesnt matter if its intentional or not.#guilt tripping is not easy to ignore at all. so yeah im mad at molly for that. BUT THEN. im mad at jack for guilt tripping molly into guilt#but then im not mad because jack was just doing his job. he wanted a way to catch the ripper and he was relentlessly out for his ass#and would stop at almost nothing to get there. including putting his agent-made-ex agent-made-agent again's life and wellbeing on the line#yeah. will is a grown man. he makes his own choices. hes manipulative. hes a good manipulator.#no matter how manipulative you are you can still be manipulated. and easily. will has an unstable sense of self and im 99.9999999 percent#sure he struggles with a dissociative disorder outside of the encephalitis. among plenty of other things. his sense of self is not stable.#that makes him malleable. he can close himself off all he wants to avoid being susceptible to manipulation but he's still malleable.#chiyoh said it. she's not as malleable as he is.#will graham#hannibal lecter#molly graham#jack crawford
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I'm watching a youtube video and they started talking about all the shit in harry potter that just didn't make any fuckin sense, and while I don't believe that the "the books have actually been bad this whole time" sentiment is helpful in the argument against jkr, it is sort of insane that for the like 20 years before she went fully mask off terf everyone just didn't question any of the wild inconsistencies in the books š
#I say this as someone who liked harry potter for YEARS and didn't question any of the inconsistencies until she went fully mask of terf#theres a certain amount of suspension of disbelief that has to go into consuming a fantasy work#and it's common among many pieces of media to indulge tropes that maybe don't actually make the most logical or practical sense#but hearing them talk about all the stuff I'm like. Yeah Hey Wait A Second#like I don't think its helpful for critiques of jkrs transmisogyny to include 'and the books always sucked anyway!'#outside from how her transphobia was present in them and the other bigotry throughout the books#because plenty of media is Bad and still beloved regardless (looking at you star wars)#I love plenty of media that just like objectively sucks#but it is insane that so many ppl dismiss jkrs terfisms to defend liking her books as if they're the best series to bless planet earth#when in reality they are full of things to critique the quality of#anyway.#ghost posts#text
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why are people already giving me unsolicited advice on how to prevent the laceration on my face from scarring/how to fade it
for starters, itās not even completely healed yet
secondly, i donāt care???? if it ends up being a very noticeable scar then oh well, i truly donāt care?? imo i donāt think it takes away from my appearance at allāmy only concern is if iām going to have the full range of movement back
#like maybe 23 yr old me would be upset about it scarring#but present me does not care as long as my movement returns#trust me i have plenty of experience with scars pls stop preaching to me about mederma or vitamina e/a/whatever#that being said all things considered it is healing SO nicely#much better than i expected tbh#legitimately the only thing that concerns me is the twitching/spasming and how i still canāt smile/eat properly among other things#personal#bird rambles
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"go to a real lgbt space" as an argument for why aspec people arent queer is just kind of funny to me because every lgbt organization i know of, both big ones & local ones from my town, have included asexual & aromantic ppl . maybe there is some kind of hostility towards aspecs in the gay clubs here that im not aware of but i really doubt that
#sorry i promise that posts relating to discourse like this only happen once in a blue moon on this blog#i just saw a post & its just weird to treat ppl who consider aspecs to be lgbt like theyre crazy internet ppl when there are so many lgbt#organizations that very much welcome & include them#also obviously i cant speak for gay bars bc im not old enough to go to one but ive been in lgbt groups where there have been both aspecs my#age or older among other queer ppl. ive met plenty of older counselors that work with lgbt ppl that know about aspecs. weve had older queer#guests visit us & mention aspecs in their like speeches & presentations & stuff#i dont know this is just an online thing i see ppl say a lot that bothers me#txt
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oh fantastic my prescriptions haven't shown up, I have one dose left for today, and can't contact anyone until monday -_-
luckily I have some leftovers from previous refills and I'll have two out of three tomorrow so withdrawal shouldn't be completely debilitating, only extremely unpleasant
#a butterfly obsesses#I ordered refills in plenty of time but sometimes they are just late#they've been so good about it this year so far and now they've let me down#lessee I've got flu-like symptoms coming up tomorrow among other things#at least it's not the one with a racing heart and brain zaps
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Walked out of work today bc long story short a guest decided that she was gonna lecture me/use me & my "abhorrent, disrespectful attitude" as an example of a lesson for one of her student & I decided that standing there & being belittled wasn't worth it
#i only gave her back the disrespect she was giving me. not even as bad as she was dishing either#granted i couldve kept my composure but also she was up at the desk for 45 minutes making a mountain out of a molehill#& among other things in her ''lecture'' she told me that if any of her students or employees acted the way i did they'd be dismissed & fire#she said ''post covid there are PLENTY of people who would be lucky & LOVE to have any work right now'' & i thought#yknow. i love my job. but i dont deserve this. this isnt worth it#so i turned to the food & beverage manager who was the only MOD & said ''actually i think i will go home''#i called my AGM after i left & let her know the whole situation. even told her i understand if im fired or written up bc of this but its no#worth standing there & being lectured & having this lady lie to my face about things i said/did. i dont deserve to be treated like that#the woman really told me ''this couldve been a teachable moment for you'' LMAO lady i will let a LOT of shit slide#but i refuse to be the subject of your lesson & i certainly dont get paid enough to have anyone who isnt management lecture me#it just feels weird though. ive never walked out before. never spotainiously taken the night off. never had a situation like this before#it feels weird having left & it feels weird sitting in my bed trying to enjoy my night when my brain knows im supposed to be at work rn#oh well#my AMG said im definetly not fired & she'll talk to the lady in the morning. i couldnt care less if i was though. theres always other jobs#and to preface i even apologized to the woman both for my behavior & the disrespect. yet she still felt like making an example of me#what a week its been#emma rambles#emma vents#2023 tag
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if yukiko's social link ends with her deciding that she doesn't actually hate the inn that much and wants to run it, I'm filling this junes food court with hornets
#quinn plays p4g#i know. i know that's how it's gonna end.#maybe if I'm mad now i won't be as mad later#(that's a lie I'll be plenty mad later too)#i just know it's gonna be the same problem as p5#where things can't *really* change and we can't *really* challenge conventions#i just hate it. she's so unhappy bc of it but then she'll ''it's fine :)'' it#just like ann did#(among others but hers comes to mind quickest)#p4g
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i hate anytime anyone says like "You should just do this one specific thing with writing bc it's the superior way of writing and everything else sucks" bc im like well what if i dont want to do that with my writing. i rather like how my writing is as it is. & then it makes me feel self conscious of my writing. bc brains are bitches i guess.
#speculation nation#like i do take writing advice into consideration bc it's not like my writing is perfect#there are still things i could improve on. & im working on them.#but. sometimes ppl r just so... generalizing.#this is Specifically with regards to the sentiment ive seen going around of 'it's best to just stick to 'said'' with dialogue tags#and i... dont like doing that.#i find it Fun to think on whether theres a more descriptive word!#and it can really embellish the writing when you find the right ones#and i also like to intersperse dialogue among actions and thoughts. to mix it up & all#'said' just feels very... bland to me. i dont like using it much.#im trying to work on using it if theres just not a more descriptive tag that properly fits. & there's not an action i can easily insert#bc i do agree that overusing synonyms of 'said' gets you that My Immortal type of screenshot#it's about moderation. it's all about moderation.#i know im overthinking this. i KNOW plenty of people have said they like how i write.#but when i see something like this that contradicts the way that i write. it makes me so incredibly self conscious i find it hard to write.#the thing is i try to seem confident on ao3 but i am anything but. even after 640k words posted my confidence is flimsy at best#so even one statement that could be read as anything other than a glowing review makes me so self conscious i wanna curl up in a ball#gaaaah brain's a bitch. anytime i start getting self doubts i try to just shut up about it so i dont bother anyone else with it#since it happens... unfortunately very often. VERY often.#ive been thinking about this for a few weeks tho & ive seen another post on the matter floating around#it's a joke post. not even that serious. but it still makes me so self conscious.#so i wanted to get it off my chest. mostly just complaining. i hate feeling so self conscious about my writing.#hundreds of comments of praise and excitement for my writing & im done in by a few posts that weren't even directed at me#self consciousness is so fuckin stupid. i hate how my brain works.
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#got a message on fetlife from someone I havenāt seen in like 4 years#theyāre trying to give away some really nice looking rope and it was nice of them to offer it to me even tho I donāt need any rn#they said theyre not involved in community stuff anymore cuz theyāre focused on exploring kink with their partner#and goddamn if she aināt living my dream#I havenāt been active in the community in YEARS#Iāve been to one or two munches since covid but thatās it#I spent years going to every dungeon party and class and munch I could think of#and they were all anxiety nightmares#if it wasnāt the anxiety of trying to make friends among people who already had their own very well defined friend groups#(literally no different than when I was in school)#then it was people who went after every single sub they met#who wanted a quick scene and then disappeared and moved onto the next one#when people did actually try and engage with me I never felt like we were on the same footing#it felt like I was being interviewed for a job and I got all the answers wrong#literally my dream is to have a partner to explore kink with#and still know they think about me as an actual person outside of kink too#I know itās possible#Iāve known plenty of people in relationships like this over the years#but it feels like the kind of thing that always happens to other people#and Iām not meant for that#and Iām not saying kinky people arenāt nice#some of the nicest most talented most amazing people#Iāve ever met are kinky#itās entirely me being a nervous wreck that made it so difficult for me to find my place in the community#personal
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