#when people did actually try and engage with me I never felt like we were on the same footing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heavyhitterheaux · 5 months ago

Text

IDGAF (NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

I don't care right now (I don't give a fuck)

Pull your hair right now (come here)

Tryna beat it right now (she like)

But you know I got a man

Synopsis: Joe has no more fucks to give and is tired of him not having the title of being your boyfriend

Warnings: mentions of dv

Do not engage if you are underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After Joe had told you that he knew that you loved him instead of Trevor, you stood there speechless.

One thing you weren't about to do was tell him that he was wrong.

His eyes never left yours as he waited for you to say something. When you didn't, he knew that it had to be up to him to at least try to pull a response out of you.

“Look, Y/N, if you go back to him, fine. I can't stop you, but I do need to tell you one thing.” He told you as he grabbed your left hand to hold it while the other one was holding onto the bouquet of flowers that he had gifted you.

“What's that?” You asked him not knowing that you had absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’re making a mistake and hopefully you realize that before you get hurt again because I know that at this point, it's bound to happen.” Joe said as he was not holding back how he felt about the entire situation.

Now the question was why did Trevor have such a strong hold on you?

“Joey, I promise that you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.” You said while trying to reassure him, but knew for a fact that more than likely it was not working in your favor.

“And who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Do you also not realize how much your brother worries about you too? From what I've seen and heard about him, he is not a good person. Especially not to you. Did you forget him leaving actual marks on your wrist while we were at that party and you were trying to get away from him? What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there to get you away from him?”

“I wish that people would just stop acting like they know what's best for me.” You breathed out, frustrated about being hit from all different angles.

Joe, Ja'Marr, Erin, and Alisha.

Even your parents thought that you had broken up with him a while ago because that's what Ja'Marr told them when he knew that Joe had eyes for you.

“Bam Bam! Why did dad just say he was relieved that I finally broke up with Trevor!? And that you had told them?! Didn’t realize my life was a soap opera to you!”

“I just uh predicted the future. Now you're not going to make me look like a liar to mom and dad, right?”

“I should beat your ass right now.”

“I mean…. You have someone who likes you that I know will treat you right. He's literally just waiting for Trevor to get out of his rightful spot.”

“JA'MARR! Who are you talking about!?”

“Pebbles, don't be dumb. I'm talking about Joe, obviously. I see the type of person he is and that's someone I want for my sister.”

The relief that was evident on their faces let you know that he was not ever going to have approval from anyone that was a part of your life.

As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe wasted no time responding to you.

“Oh so you think this is what a healthy relationship between two people looks like? And someone obviously needs to because you definitely can't do it yourself.”

“Just like you said before, if I go back to him, it really isn't any of your business or anyone else's for that matter. Let's keep it that way because I am done with this conversation.”

“If that's what you want then okay. I won't say anything else about it. And to add to that I'll keep my distance because you're right. You shouldn't be spending more time with another man that isn't your boyfriend and I guess he probably feels like I stepped on his toes enough. But he won't have to worry about that anymore.” He told you as he sighed and held up his hands in defense, losing the warmth that he had been getting from holding your hand.

“Wait…” You started to say, but Joe shook his head at you.

“No, this is what you wanted so this is how it's going to be from now on.”

“Joey, I didn't mean…”

“Didn't mean what? You love me but your ass is crawling back to him as he begs for forgiveness as usual after doing the bare minimum? Actually, he doesn't even do that. I'm not about to compete with anyone who I feel isn't even on my level to compete with me in the first place. I'll see you at the game if you're coming later. Probably not the best idea to wear my jersey since we can't have Trevor seeing it.”

Now it was apparent that Joe was more than pissed off with you.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I need to head back to my apartment to start to get ready anyway. But for the record….” He trailed off and you tried to grab his hand, but he immediately moved away.

“For the record what?”

“I love you too. So do what you will with that information.”

That's the last thing Joe told you before he turned away from you before he walked back to meet up with Justin and Ja'Marr.

Later that day in the afternoon, you were sitting next to Alisha and Erin in the student section of the stadium waiting for the game to start. After the conversation between the two of you earlier in the day, you honestly didn’t feel like going, but decided to anyway.

Even though Joe was mad at you, you had already promised him last week that you would wear his jersey to the game and didn't care who saw it at this point.

You were going to support your friend.

Your friend that you were in love with and he was in love with you however that was a whole nother discussion.

“You look good in your future husband's jersey.” Erin teased while Alisha laughed before taking a bite of her hot dog.

“He’s a little mad at me right now so hopefully seeing me in it will make it a little bit better.” You said as you turned to look at her.

“Well he can't be but so mad at you since he is literally making his way over here.” Alisha told you as you turned around to see that she was indeed correct.

The three of you were on the first row in the middle so that you would have the best view. In order to get these seats, all three of you made sure to get to the stadium early. When Joe finally reached you, he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read and you were the first one to speak.

“Surprised to see me?” You asked and he nodded.

“A little bit, but I know you. A promise is a promise and you said that you would be here. You aren't one to back out of something so easily.”

“Hmm, true. Are you still mad at me?” You quietly asked and Joe simply shrugged.

“Seeing you in my jersey is making me less mad if that helps. If you were my girlfriend, after tonight when I won I would be able to take it off of you. But I know my opportunity is coming.”

“I…” You started to say as you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Oh, that’s right. We established boundaries today and I promised that I would back off. It's kind of hard, but I just have to deal with it.”

“Joey….”

“Bold move though wearing it considering anybody could see it, including him. We both know that he already doesn’t like me. Think he'd be mad if I kissed you right now? In front of all these people? Letting the entire world know that you belong to me and only me even if you aren't ready to admit it yet.” Joe whispered as he leaned closer to you. Joe had spotted Trevor in the stands a few rows up and sent a small smile his way which led to Trevor glaring at him. You still had yet to notice that he was there which Joe was going to take advantage of.

When you were quiet, Joe laughed as he broke the silence.

“Let’s find out.”

He lightly grabbed your face and moved you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your cheek that was dangerously close to your mouth.

If you would have moved less than one centimeter, he would have planted that kiss on your lips.

“We'll talk later.” He told you while pinching your cheek and you simply nodded. This was the second time today that he had left you speechless.

“Have a good game, Joey.”

“It already is a good game, because you're here.” He replied as he winked at you.

He made his way back over to the sideline while Erin and Alisha were grinning from ear to ear as you turned around to look at both of them.

“I seriously wish yall would just fuck already. It would literally solve so many problems. He would take you on the fifty yard line if he could.”

“ERIN!”

“I’m just saying. I am literally waiting for the wedding invite. I wonder if you two will get married here or have a destination wedding? I can start looking up places.”

“What am I going to do with you?” You asked her, but also couldn’t help but to laugh at the same time.

What you didn't see was Trevor fuming behind you. He had seen the entire interaction and planned to confront you about it later. He knew that you and Joe were obviously close and were friends, but that interaction that he just saw was too intimate for his liking.

He hadn't cared for Joe ever since the party where he had stepped in between the both of you. In the back of his mind, he knew Joe liked you, it was obvious. But one thing that he had to do was set him straight and let him know that you were his and planned on reminding you about it later.

Little did he know, it was too little too late.

You were too far gone at this point, and the only person that held your attention was Joseph Lee Burrow.

Later on that night after he had gotten back to his apartment from LSU winning their game, Joe had grabbed food and was sitting down eating it while his phone vibrated on the table in front of him indicating that it was his mom and he quickly answered.

He simply wanted to be by himself and didn't bother celebrating with any of his teammates because once again, his mind was on you.

It was a continuous cycle, you, football, and focusing on his classes.

It took everything in him not to text you to tell you to come over at this very moment. He was supposed to be mad at you, but being around you was something that kept him grounded. Seeing you wear his jersey tonight made it hard for him to continue to be mad at you.

“Hello?”

“I watched the game and you played amazing as usual. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to this one, but I will definitely be there next week.”

“It's fine, don't even worry about it and thank you.” He quietly said and she knew for a fact that something was wrong.

“What's going on? You sound upset.” Robin asked him and he sighed before he answered her.

“I like this girl…”

“Oh Y/N? Yes I know. Pretty obvious. You literally talk about her non-stop every week that me and your dad call you. Can't wait to meet her, but go on.”

“Well she knows that I like her, well I actually told her that I loved her earlier today and also told her that I knew she loved me. We've gotten really close ever since I came down here and met her. If I'm not playing football or in class, I am literally spending all of my time with her.”

“Well, what's the problem?”

“She has a boyfriend and I might just have to settle for being her friend because instead of breaking up with him and being with me, she told me that she is giving him another chance even after he's hurt her multiple times.”

“I know that can be hard to watch, but as bad as it sounds, you need to let her make her own mistakes. If that's her decision, you need to respect it.”

“And that's what I told her and also said from now on I’ll be keeping my distance from her.”

“If you feel that's your best option, then stand by your decision.”

“I just…. All I've seen is her getting hurt by him and she steadily defends him each time.”

“I… if you are her friend and you are as close as you claim you two are, just be there for her and help her get through whatever may happen. If the two of you are meant to be together, you'll be together.”

It was 2 in the morning when Joe heard someone knocking on his apartment door and was instantly confused. Hopping up from the couch that he had fallen asleep on with open books scattered around him, he opened the door to see you staring at him in a frantic state.

“Y/N, is everything okay? What's wrong?” He asked as he stepped to the side to be able to let you in and led you to sit down on the couch.

“My brother isn't here, is he?” You asked not bothering to answer his question and looking around since sometimes Ja'Marr would crash at Joe's place if he was too tired to go back to his own.

“No, but do I need to call him?” He asked and you immediately shook your head no.

“No! Please don't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, just don’t tell him.” You didn't mean to raise your voice and it came out harsher than you intended.

“Then are you going to tell me what happened? Wait, why is there a cut near your eye? And it's bleeding.” He asked and got up to wet a washcloth and dabbed at your face with it.

It was at that moment that you had looked down and started playing with your matching bracelet that you and Ja'Marr had gotten each other on your eighteenth birthdays and under no circumstances would you make eye contact with him.

That's when the thought hit Joe like a ton of bricks.

“Did that asshole put his hands on you?”

“No.”

“Y/N, if you lie to me I'm calling Ja'Marr.”

“Okay, okay. He tried to. We were arguing and he threw a vase at me that shattered against the wall and some glass from it must have cut me. And then he pushed me into a corner and acted as if he was going to punch me, but punched a hole in the wall instead. Right next to my head. He apologized, but I waited until he fell asleep and then I came here. I was so scared.” You quietly said as tears were starting to run down your cheeks and Joe quickly wiped them away.

It happened again, just like he said it would.

And this time, it ended up being a lot worse.

Joe was sitting there with his jaw clenched and once you looked up at him, you knew that you had to stop him before he did something stupid.

He abruptly got up and was looking for his keys when you instantly ran to stand in front of the door to block him.

“Move, Y/N.”

“Joey, no. You are not going anywhere. Let it go.”

“He fucking hurt you. I should go over there and kick his ass myself.”

“I cannot risk you getting in trouble and therefore getting kicked off the team, he isn't worth it. I'll be fine. Do not mess up your future over me.” You told him as you took his hands in yours.

“But YOU are worth it. Who the fuck in their right mind would do something like that to you? I knew I didn't like him when I met him and your brother was right about him.”

“Joey, promise me. Please don't. I'll deal with it in my own way.”

“There is no way in hell you are going near him ever again. Ja'Marr would be mad as hell at me if he knew that I knew that he hurt you and didn't do anything about it.”

“And that's why you aren't going to tell him.”

“Wait, what? Y/N… you cannot be serious.”

“I… it's the same thing with him too. You can both get arrested for assault and it'll lead to so much more, just please.”

Joe let out a deep sigh before nodding, letting you know that he would honor your wishes.

The two of you were still standing in front of the door and the two of you hadn't taken your eyes off one another when you suddenly reached up and kissed him, catching him off guard, but he immediately kissed you back.

When the two of you broke apart, the reality of what you had just done hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had just cheated on your boyfriend with Joe.

And you didn’t have an ounce of regret in your body.

“I'm sorry, I…” You started to say as you stepped away from him and Joe cut you off as he lightly brought you back towards him.

“I'm not. Break up with him and be with me instead. So I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. I promise you that you won't regret it.”

You didn't respond, but Joe immediately brought your face to his and kissed you once more. Both of your hands were exploring each other's bodies but as soon as you tried to lift Joe's shirt, he abruptly stopped and he kissed the side of your mouth like he had done earlier at the game before saying anything.

“Not yet. You've been through a lot tonight and the last thing I want is for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state and you regret it tomorrow.”

“But I'm…”

“I just want you to rest for the rest of the night. We have plenty of time for that. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”

Nodding your head he kissed you again before taking your hand in his and led you towards his bedroom that you had grown familiar with all throughout the semester. Any time you came over, it would lead to you stealing one of his shirts or one of his hoodies. He was convinced when the semester was over that all he was going to have left at this rate were his boxers. Once there, he let go of your hand and went into his dresser to pull out one of his old Ohio State shirts and handed it to you.

“It'll probably be huge on you, but you'll be comfortable.”

You smiled at him before heading to the bathroom to change out of your clothes. Once you closed the door behind you, you glanced in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at you.

You promised yourself that if it happened again, you would leave him, but here you were. You had someone right in front of you that wanted to give you the world so what were you so scared of?

You were tired of running around in circles and tired of making excuses.

First thing you were doing later on that day was breaking up with Trevor.

Once you had gotten changed, you walked back out into Joe's bedroom to see he was now in just a pair of sweatpants and looked like he was headed towards the door, but was quickly stopped in his tracks as he heard your soft voice behind him making him turn around.

“Where are you going?” You quietly asked since you were confused.

“To sleep on the couch while you sleep in my bed. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay first.”

“Joey, no. I'm not kicking you out of your bed and besides, I don’t want to be by myself right now.” You confessed as you grabbed his hand.

He nodded as the two of you both got settled, Joe was closest to the door while you were closest to the window. After making sure you were comfortable, he reached over to turn off the lamp that was on the bedside table. That was when he heard your voice once more.

“Joey?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for always being there for me. Even when I might not deserve it.”

At this point in time, you were honestly surprised that he even answered the door and let you in, but knowing the type of person he is, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently.

“I'll be here as long as you want me to be and you deserve the world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

—

You didn’t know how long you were laying there, but sleep was the last thing taking over your body. Noticing that Joe's breathing also hadn't slowed, you turned around to face him and at the same time you heard his voice.

“Princess? You still awake? You need to go to sleep.”

“I can't sleep. I'm still so scared, I know he's going to look for me sooner or later.”

“You’re safe here and no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I can promise you that.” He told you as he stroked your face and placed a light kiss on your forehead as he was able to make out your features in the dark by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.

“Come here.”

Joe then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him as he then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips which you quickly returned.

All of this led up to a heated make out session with Joe now hovering over top of you as his hands reached underneath his shirt that you were wearing. His fingers lightly grazed your nipples and he then began to roll them between his fingers as he noticed that your bra that you had been wearing had been long forgotten which he was thankful for.

Before he lifted his shirt over your head, he asked for permission to make sure you were absolutely sure about wanting to do this. Joe had wanted you from day one, but if you weren’t ready to do this he was willing to wait until you were.

“Are you…?”

“Yes. I was sure earlier tonight and I'm sure now. I know the last thing I'm ever going to regret is being with you.”

Once he peeled the shirt away from your body, he now had full access to you. The plan was to take his time so he could give you the undivided attention that you deserved since he knew for a fact that Trevor wasn't giving it to you without even having to ask you about it.

His mouth found its way to one of your nipples and he began to lightly suck on it while continuing to roll the other one in between his fingers before switching making a moan escape your mouth.

“Mmm, fuck.”

“I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.” He whispered against your lips before kissing them.

The increase in wetness between your thighs was evident as you Iet out soft quiet moans from the sensation of having him explore your body with his mouth.

As he moved further south, Joe's fingers ran along your folds as he saw how wet you actually were.

“This all for me? I've barely even done anything and your body is responding like this?” He asked you as he placed one kiss on each inner thigh.

As you nodded, he inserted one finger and soon worked himself up to two before settling in between your thighs and beginning to pleasure you with his tongue.

After a few minutes, he noticed you starting to squirm and firmly wrapped his arms around your legs in the hopes of limiting your movement.

“Stay still for me princess.” Was all you heard as your hands found a way to his hair and was softly tugging on it, hoping to bring him in closer.

With the use of his tongue along with his fingers, a new sensation unknown to you was building in the lower half of your body and at the same time, Joe began to suck on your clit.

“Oh, shit….”

Joe felt your hands trying to push him away from you, but all he did was tighten his hold on your legs making sure you had no way to get away from him.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You won't be able to if you keep moving away from me.” Joe asked you as he had come up for air, but immediately went back down.

“Yes.” Was all you said as he began to suck harder.

It took no time at all for you to feel like you were seeing stars as Joe continued to pleasure you.

It was official.

Joe had given you your first orgasm.

He gave you a few minutes to recover as he was placing kisses up and down your thighs before sliding off his sweatpants along with his boxers as he opened the bedside table to pull out a condom. It was still obviously dark in the room, but you could literally see because of the light coming through the windows past the curtains, how big he was and you suddenly became nervous.

You thought to yourself that there was no way in hell that he was about to fit.

Joe could sense this as he was putting the condom on and quickly tried to reassure you.

“No reason to be nervous, baby. It's going to fit. Most important thing is that you have to relax for me.” He told you while leaning down to lightly stroke your face.

“Okay.” You quietly said in response, but you still weren’t convinced. But at the same time, you knew that Joe had no reason to lie to you.

Once he positioned himself in front of you, he reached down to kiss you and once he pulled away from you is when you heard his voice once more.

“You ready, princess?”

You nodded, but that obviously wasn’t enough for him.

“I need words, you need to say it. I’m not doing anything unless you do.”

“I’m ready.”

Once he finally heard it, you felt Joe slowly entering you and you tightly closed your eyes. As you did this, Joe immediately felt your body tense up.

It would have probably been a good idea to tell him that you had never had sex before before all of this began happening, but knew that he would be as gentle as possible with you regardless.

That's just the type of person he was when it came to you.

“Princess, you have to relax. It's me and the last thing that I am ever going to do is hurt you. When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every word.” He quietly said as he leaned down to kiss you.

You nodded and several more kisses were placed on your lips when you felt him easing the rest of the way into you at the same time making you gasp as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You're okay, I got you baby.” Joe told you as he gave you time to adjust to his size before he made any sudden movement.

Kisses were planted along your neck and shoulder as you were adjusting to a new feeling that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t quite to the point of pleasure, however you weren’t necessarily in pain either.

It felt weird.

About a minute or so had passed when you slowly felt him begin to move and you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Now all you felt was pleasure as moans escaped from your mouth when Joe began to increase his pace.

In order to go deeper and at a better angle, Joe held onto your hips before deciding to wrap your left leg around his waist.

“If you want this as bad as you say you do, keep those legs spread. Fuck you feel so good around me, just like I knew you would.”

Since your arms were already tightly wrapped around him, his face was in the crook of your neck as he had now leaned forward.

Making that sudden change in position, he was now hitting the same spot over and over again and you just knew that it was about to send you over the edge sooner or later.

You were thinking that it would probably be sooner.

“Fuck, Joey stay right there.” You breathed out as he lifted his head to steal a quick kiss from you.

Doing what you had asked him to, his movements increased in pace while also becoming sloppy at the same time making you think that he was just as close as you were.

“Joey, I…” You trailed off as a weird sensation was building in your stomach once more and you knew it was happening again.

The second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt like you had gotten the wind knocked out of you.

As Joe heard your soft whimpers, he placed kisses all along your shoulder blade as you rode out your high.

He placed another kiss on your forehead before he slowly slipped out of you making you wince and went to throw away the condom.

Once he had come back, he had a washcloth with warm water in his right hand as he started to gently glide it onto your body in order to wipe you off.

When he was finished, he threw it into the hamper and laid back down beside you, ultimately pulling you on top of him. Your eyes began to become heavy between Joe rubbing small circles along your back and listening to Joe's heartbeat.

Your eyes fluttered open from hearing the television on a low volume and you could only assume that Joe was already awake. Once he noticed that you began to stir, he peeked down at you seeing as you were still laying on his chest.

“Good morning, princess.” He softly said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Good morning. What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine and I was about to wake you up since I know that you have class at ten and it takes you five to seven business days to get ready.”

“Really, Joey?” You replied as you rolled your eyes.

“I call it like I see it. I always tell you what time I’m going to come and get you, however, I’ll be downstairs waiting in the car while you only still have one of your lashes on.”

“You get on my last nerve.”

“But did I lie?”

When Joe was met with silence and another eye roll from you, all he did was laugh.

“I guess I have to go and get ready then.” You told him as you sighed, not wanting to leave his embrace.

“We can do dinner later and have a study date…. With or without clothes.”

“JOSEPH!”

“What? What’d I say that was wrong? I was just giving you options!” He exclaimed as he then held up his hands in defense.

“I’m ignoring you. What time are we doing our dinner and study date?”

“As soon as you get out of class, just come back here.”

“I’m honestly a little nervous to go back to my apartment.” You said being completely honest.

“Just get some of your things and you can stay with me, you know that I don’t care and the most important thing is that you’re safe. I have to go to class too, but I can call Ja’Marr…”

“NO! Baby brother asks too many questions. I’ll be fine. The security guy who works there is super nice and I know if I tell him I don’t feel all that safe he’ll walk me to my apartment door.”

“As long as you’re sure. But call me if there’s a problem, understand?”

“Understood, Mr. Burrow.”

—-

Joe was still running off of the high from this morning as he had woken up to the sight of you beside him. He was walking to his last class of the day on campus when he did a double take as he spotted you in front of one of the many libraries that he knew was near a few of your classes. But who he saw you with was why he instantly became upset.

You were talking to Trevor, who of course he despised and for good reason.

He couldn't tell what the nature of the conversation was by your body language and it almost looked as if Trevor was barely paying any attention to what you were saying which wasn’t unusual.

So, did last night mean nothing to you?

Joe was watching you for a few more minutes until he looked down at his watch and noticed that if he didn't leave now that he would end up being late to class.

At this point, he was done trying.

If that's who you wanted, then fine.

And he made it up in his mind that he was done.

Completely.

Throughout the day, you were calling him and sending him text messages, that ultimately went unanswered making you nervous.

You deserved to get an explanation on why he was suddenly acting this way towards you and immediately hopped into your car after packing your bags that you were going to take in order to stay with him and quickly drove to his apartment.

The banging on Joe's door instantly annoyed him seeing as he just sat down to watch one of the many NBA games that we’re coming on that night. He glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 6 pm and had a feeling that it was you.

A deep sigh escaped his mouth before he got up to answer it. Once he did, he was met with you just as he suspected and you had a pissed off look on your face and Joe raised his eyebrows at you in confusion.

“Yes? Did you need something?”

“So, you can have sex with me, but then suddenly ignore me? I may be little, but I will kick your 6’4 ass and throw a dumbbell at your head.” You asked him and pushed your way past him into the apartment.

“It's not even like that so stop jumping to conclusions.” Joe replied as he closed the door behind you.

“Then tell me so I can understand, Joey! Because you have me confused. You claim to want me so bad and then end up ignoring me all day!? When I called you multiple times? Who does that?”

“Because I saw you with him! Why the fuck are you even talking to him? Hasn’t he hurt you enough?”

“Now look who's jumping to conclusions.” You said as you crossed your arms.

“Then why else would you be with him? You did tell me recently that you were going to give him another chance. Recently as in yesterday before we had sex so I simply thought she claims she loves me, yet she's still going back to him.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose before you said anything else to him.

“You are literally so annoying. I went to talk to him to break up with him! Last time I checked you did confess that you loved me or did I not get that right?”

“Oh.” Joe quietly said and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes.

You started to make your way back towards the door in order to leave when you felt Joe suddenly pull you back as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Let me go. I'm mad at you.” You said as you were trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything.” He replied as he turned you around to face him and leaned down to kiss you.

“No, don't kiss me. Turn me loose. Leave me alone. All you literally had to do was just ask me.”

“I know, but seeing you with him just pissed me off and so I walked away. I promise it won’t happen again. You forgive me? I’m not letting you go until you say you do.” Joe asked you as he squeezed you tighter and leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I guess.” You muttered as he led the both of you over to the couch as Joe sat down first and then pulled you onto his lap.

“So, is it official now?” You asked him as he had been focused on the game that was playing on the television.

“Is what official?”

“Me being LSU's star quarterback Joe Burrow's girlfriend.” You teased as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“You've been mine for a while. That ex-boyfriend of yours was just keeping my spot warm. I bet he never made you feel as good as I did last night.” Joe told you as he was wiggling his eyebrows as you both then let out a laugh.

“No, because I never had sex with Trevor.”

Joe immediately stopped laughing and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Wait, huh?”

“I never did because I told him that I wanted to wait. That was one of the only things he actually did respect, but I know for a fact that he's probably cheated on me multiple times because of it, but I just ignored it.” You replied while being completely honest.

“Uh, princess? Don't you think you should have told me that? Fuck did I…? Shit. I would have made it a lot more special if I would have known. I would have had candles and…”

“Stop it. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.” You cut him off as you kissed him and tried to reassure him.

“I waited for the right person who I knew for a fact was going to treat me right.”

#joe burrow #joe burrow smut #joe burrow lsu #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x black reader #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fanfic #joey b #joey burrow #joe shiesty #nfl imagine #joe burrow fluff #Spotify

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coldsaturn · 3 months ago

Note

hiii! i have a question i thought you might be able to answer: how did aftg originally get so popular? i know it was mostly word of mouth on tumblr (still is, i think) (who says this website is unmarketable!!) but what were the early days of the fandom like? personally i've "only" been here since 2016, and by then the series was already decently popular. i remember at that time that the fandom was really welcoming and kind in a way that felt really exceptional to me, and it definitely contributed to me picking up the books, which is the only explanation i can really think of for why it got a bigger following than some to other books which did receive a whole big-publisher marketing campaign aside from it just being well-written. do you have any theories for why it got so massive on here? and do you know how the first readers found it? i hope you don't mind me asking you this, but i remember your blog from wayyyy back when and thought that if anyone had the answer, it would probably be you :)

Hello! I always get so happy when I can talk about the early days of the fandom <3 Sit down here around the fire, let me tell you about this wondrous tale.

So, story time: it was spring 2013, I had just finished a thorough read of In The Company Of Shadows and I was starving for another black hole. It was automatic for me to look up the goodread lists ICoS was featured in, to see what other titles I could pick up, and ended up on the list called "Online M/M stories that deserve to be published". The Foxhole Court was right there (it's not anymore because it IS published <3), so I read it. That was the start of the end lmao

If I remember correctly I didn't wait too long before reading TRK, but TKM didn't come out until the end of the following year, so in the meantime I all but shelved it as something that had incredible potential but that was possibly doomed to never be completed. Fast forward I think the start of 2015 when I accidentally stumbled upon TKM and I couldn't believe I could finally know how the story ended. Nora had a blogspot where she talked about the books (including updates between TRK and TKM), and I remember trying to get as much info as I could on this series. And that was it. For a bit.

So, by the first half of 2015, the fandom was made by people commenting on her blogspot, on her livejournal, the book pages on goodreads, and Ao3 literally had 2 fics ( webarchive gives you what we saw - btw Don't Speak Against The Sun is FIRE and instantly became a new standard for f/f for me). You can still find all this content online. Tumblr had a handful of scattered posts about TFC, mostly Nora's mutuals/friends on tumblr, and a couple of readers screaming into the void with no one answering their call.

I was pretty active on here, especially in the bellarke fandom, and I engaged with mutuals and other blogs often enough that I knew if I talked about something, at least someone would reply. A mutual was reading The Raven Cycle and got me curious enough to liveblog it myself. Instant love, of course, and if you've read TRC you know how strong the found family vibe is. So at the end of my liveblog (we've reached July 2015) I threw out a comment where I recommended AFTG as another worthy title. With the first book being free while the other two were only a dollar each, it sounded a fairly easy commitment. One mutual decided to read it (if you're reading, hi!!!) and liveblog it, and that got the party started.

A party of 2, and I'm not kidding. While we chatted and made up headcanon after headcanon on the phone, the intention was to get others interested in this story. But they'd never do it if there wasn't enough content around to engage with and motivate them to blog themselves, so we started with quote posts, liveblog reactions, a few timid edits and poems. An important choice was figuring out which tag to use (at the time tumblr search only scrolled through tags, not post content): "all for the game" was an actual sports tag, "the raven king" was the title announced for the next TRC installment, "the king's men" was the last book of the trilogy and it wasn't even the free one, so we settled for "the foxhole court" which was an empty tag. Even now my blog content is organized around "tfc" because of it, even though we took over all the relevant tags. A couple other mutuals I had from bellarke fandom got curious as well, and now we could consider ourselves a proper group. We were so starved for fan content that whatever you put out would be automatically reblogged and enthusiastically engaged with. It was a happy little fandom bubble. Then Nora noticed us and started interacting with us, and you got the birth of what would become the extra content page as she replied to our questions.

I possibly had a little bit too much time on my hands because I appointed myself as fandom archivist and tour guide. I reblogged every single post I saw in the tags, and I started a welcome page where I could keep track of everyone announcing they were reading the series. It was meant as a way to find mutuals to interact with since tumblr hadn't yet "canonized" all the tags, and it was entirely possible to lose each other in dashboard chains. I used to reply to everyone reading the series by "officially" welcoming them into the fandom, linking them the page where they could find mutuals, Nora's blog, and the extra content present up to that point. Oh and there was a fictional exy team where you could choose your position and then put it in your blog for fun or roleplay it. I also used smashword's gift system to buy the series for whoever said they couldn't pay for it, just to try and avoid pirating the book (good for word of mouth, bad for sales). This was on my side, but this fandom had so many people pouring their entire heart out I still get emotional thinking about it.

Everyone (before January 2016) made as much content as they could, be it meta, fanart, fanfics, headcanons, edits, wikia pages etc. We had fandom challenges where we pronounced the names of the characters and aftg keywords with our native accent, others where we said our favorite scene. Every headcanon was the first headcanon ever seen in the fandom. The fun thing was that at the time there was a strong etiquette toward "if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything" so fan content really went in all directions with basically no limits. We tagged for triggers and that was it, we had free reign. For those who were around at the time, the sin squad was a group of us fans churning out the saddest/filthiest/fluffiest/most problematic content we could think of.

Then we reached January 2016. We were around 300 in the fandom at that point (I know because I counted them, literally), it had been slow but constant growth where each new fan brought at least other two people with them, and we had around 20 posts per day in the main tag. Then someone bridged the gap between us and the TRC fandom. If you ask me how the fandom got really popular, that's it. The TRC fandom was stuck in hiatus waiting for The Raven King, and now you had 300 rabid foxes spamming aftg content on tumblr, using trk as tag, too. Popular fanartists that were active in that fandom helped making aftg known, and semi viral posts did the rest. We went from 300 to 700 people in a couple of months, and shortly after I had to stop adding people to the welcome page because the post broke. I didn't even know that could happen. It wasn't long after that we were featured in the tumblr end of year recap for book ships. We were so many it was suddenly possible to meet in real life! Cosplays, tattoos, merch. You name it, someone in the fandom did it.

But how did it feel when we were only 20 people and a cardboard dog cutout? It felt like the most chaotic book club ever, and every new fan was automatically a friend. Nostalgia is a lying bitch, but I really don't think I'm making shit up here. We had fun and made great memories.

By the way, if you want to see how things were in 2015, you can! Just go through my archive starting from July 2015 (I think 17th) and onward. You can also search my blog for the tags "fandom history" and "started from nothing and now we're here", whereas here you can find a list of aftg fandom tags I used.

Tl;dr We were starving for good content, we wanted to have fun together, and we were lucky enough to half-hijack a bigger fandom in hiatus. That was all the marketing AFTG needed on tumblr.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc foxes #fandom history #started from nothing and now we're here #the foxhole court #the sunshine court

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notmorbid · 2 months ago

Text

one little spark.

dialogue prompts from one little spark by ellie banks.

you little asshole.

everything is annoying today. everything.

i've always liked a little scorched earth.

i've never seen the point of going out with quiet dignity and grace.

you like problems.

whatever i do, i do right.

a combination of age and life have left me absolutely fuckless.

you don't need me to take care of you.

has anyone ever told you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

being single is so damned weird.

i'm fond of crashing through caution tape.

if he doesn't take care of you, i'll hunt him down and kill him.

starting small is not in my wheelhouse.

you never seem afraid of being wrong.

how did you get here so fast?

always the dangerous choice.

you don't understand what you saw.

you deserve to have some closure.

sometimes i want to burn this place to the ground.

i'm not sure if it's a dream or a memory.

shut out what you can't control, and focus on what you can.

i try not to engage in wishful thinking, but sometimes it's hard.

maybe it's me. maybe it's that 'bad blood' shit.

if i can't trust you, i can't trust anything.

are you taking care of yourself?

what does 'normal' look like right now?

cheating in your head isn't a thing.

i want to figure out how to embrace what i have left.

do i have _____ on my face?

it's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing. that's normal.

i don't feel like anything about me is very normal.

i keep grudges like other people keep cats.

sometimes you have to take steps forward, even if they're not in the shoes you would have chosen.

i couldn't stand letting you see me struggle.

everyone has secrets.

you weren't a mistake to me.

no one's ever looked at me like that but you.

it's okay to not know what you feel.

i want you to never blame yourself. for anything.

i was a little bitch to you, and i'm sorry.

why do people like uncertain women so much?

if you were happy, you wouldn't be here.

simmer down, kid.

this isn't a happy place for me.

guilt is different from shame.

what's the difference between god and a surgeon? god doesn't think he's a surgeon.

i always end up telling you my secrets.

how do you think that would've gone, you and me?

____ felt like the safe choice.

i know you can't rebuild from ashes, but you can build something new on top of them.

i would have been there for you, if you'd have let me.

did everyone know but me?

i'm married, not dead.

at least i say what needs saying.

it's not actually hard to be nice to you.

i don't have time for feelings. i've got shit to do.

you're kind of an asshole.

if you can't handle a woman scorned, don't scorn one.

life is a lot more complicated than anybody wants to believe.

i felt like a teenager when i saw you.

you're as afraid as i am.

why aren't you angry with me?

i want us to get to know each other again.

it has been a very long time since i've been on a date.

i don't know why anyone would choose to be single.

you fascinate me.

i don't have time to sit around and marinate in subtlety.

you've been kind of a secret fantasy of mine for a while now.

i always knew i was the main character. thank you for supporting my narcissism.

this will never be over, will it?

no matter what, i want to know you.

i'm going to pour wine.

i really like you. i wasn't supposed to.

i'm trying to just enjoy the moment, but i'm bad at it.

i didn't have words for it then.

i thought maybe things would improve with distance.

when did we finish having all our easy conversations?

you've never liked sunrises. you hate getting up early.

you're my girl. you always were.

for once in my life, i wanted to be the one who got picked.

i wanted to make you my enemy, but you aren't, are you?

you aren't innocent, but you aren't evil, either.

i'm never the bigger person. not for the hell of it.

i don't know if i knew anything about my own life.

i'm not sure what i'm remembering and what i'm dreaming.

the truth will come for you, if you don't come for it first.

'should' doesn't fix anything.

was i ever there for you, or did i just torture you?

i remember the first time you held my hand.

in my lowest moment, you kept me safe. from myself, from everything.

i tried not to think about it. i didn't tell anyone.

i'm really not mature enough for this.

timing has never really been my strong suit.

i'm just hormonal. it's making me weird.

i wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.

don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

i want to be as strong as you are. that's all i want.

i don't see a way forward without you, one way or the other.

you made my life here not hell.

you can be sorry and still forgive yourself.

your conscience isn't my problem.

i'm not one to argue with fate.

you got your character arc, after all. good for you.

#sentence starters #rp memes #inbox memes #rp meme #rp prompts #rp prompt #ask memes #thriller meme #families

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cherryblossompink303 · 3 months ago

Text

Patience *Bonus Chapter*: ~degrees of seperation~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Oceans apart can be very far away, and Kyoya never expected how far it would actually feel ➼ what to expect: "If i didn't know better Kyoya Ootori I would think that you miss me" ➼ warnings: n/a

A/n: when someone comments that the next chapter will be y/n and Kyoya being masterminds and I already had this chapter written T-T

You had to admit that the flutter that you felt in your chest when you heard the familiar jingle of the video call on your computer. The summer is going incredibly since you left Japan for an internship in Italy, you found yourself counting down the hours for Kyoya to call.

"Hello?" it is already dark for Kyoya when you answer, a symptom of the time difference. "Hi" you smile, still unpacking your bag as you had only just got in from work that day. "How did talking with that competator of your father go?"

Kyoya takes a sharp inhale at the mention of the meeting "As well as we could hope. I've sworn them to secracy even if they do not accept our offer" you nod "Good, I'm sure they will, they've been looking for a way to get back at the ootori group for years" Kyoya laughs through a hum "Very true"

"How was work?"

"Alright, in full honesty if they were paying me I probably could have fixed half their issues by now, but I also don't want to work for them long term so what would be the point?" Kyoya smirks "Sounds about right"

A comfortable silence overcomes the two of you as you both basque in your combined success. "Are you being well looked after?" you roll your eyes "Yes, you know that I am" Kyoya had insisted in you staying in one of his families properties while you were in Italy.

"Do you have enough money?" you laugh "I don't think money has ever been an issue" it is kyoya's turn to roll his eyes. "I am just making sure, the less you have to rely on your parents money the better”

You huff “yes Kyoya I am fine”

“Good.”

You shake your head at kyoyas expression “what’s got you so worried?”

“Your father called today.”

Oh.

You try to seem unbothered, looking away “oh really?” Kyoya hummed, leaning back in his seat “he’s wondering why you haven’t gone home”

You raise an eyebrow “and he called you?”

“He thinks I’ve kidnapped you” you laugh at the reply “in a way he’s not fully wrong” Kyoya scoffed “like you didn’t leap to stay at the villa instead of with your nonna”

“What did you say?”

“That you are extremely busy with work placements”

“Good”

Kyoya cleared his throat “he also mentioned something else”

“Hmm?”

“Now that we’re going into third year…he said that the l/n and ootori group are going to release a joint statement confirming our engagement by the end of the year”

“What?”

This was a strange move, even for your fathers of all people.

“I would have thought that they would have waited until we graduated to announce….why move it up?”

Kyoya hums in agreement “something must have prompted them”

You wrack your brain for any idea on what would trigger them to hasten the arrangement. “Well if my father is the one that is moving it up…possibly he is sensing that your father is getting cold feet?”

He raises an eyebrow “I mean possibly but I don’t know where he would get that idea, I must admit I haven’t really spoken to my father on the matter”

It is only now that is hits you exactly what you had just been told. “Wait Kyoya, if the engagement is announced what about the host club-“

“I’ll handle that, don’t worry”

You sigh, leaning back, shaking your head “I mean��I guess if it’s moved up then it’s still happening…that’s good right?”

“I suppose, it does mean that you won’t be with them for as long after we graduate” Kyoya sighed, taking out his notebook and scribbling something down that you can't see onscreen.

You keep forgetting somehow that this engagement is actually going to end in marriage despite that being the entire point. It makes you wonder actually what life being married to Kyoya would even look like.

You always used to picture it as being cold, that the two of you would just live in the same house and for the most part mind your own business. But that was before you actually started talking to each other now you have no idea.

"How are the host club?" Kyoya groans, leaning back in his seat "As infuriating as ever, they're even harder to handle without you here to keep them in check"

You laugh "It is still the summer I am sure that they haven't been that bad" you shake your head, taking a sip of your coffee. "Tamaki's delusions ae unfortunately not seasonal i'm afraid"

"I can imagine"

"That does remind me however, our said great leader has asked for your proposed events calendar for the next semester" You have to restrain yourself from laughing midsip at kyoya's newfound nickname.

"Ok, I'll have to get started on it then, I've been a bit busy planning corperate sabotage to work on it"

"It will work out, I am sure of it"

You pause. "There is...still one more thing that we still don't know"

"Hm?"

"What exactly my father is covering up for the ootori group"

Kyoya sighs "yeah, I've been trying to look into that, the problem is trying to investigate within the ootori group without exposing our plans"

you hum in agreement "true, it is just concerning that if the group is so desperate to cover something up that your father would arrange a marriage with the head of a media empire for his daughter then it is serious, the ootori group is in medical..."

"I dread to think aswell"

Things were just going to get messy this next year, you just knew it.

"When....are you returning to Japan?"

You're head shoots up at the question, surely he already knows, a detail like that does not slip under Kyoya's radar.

"I...my placement ends on the nineteenth, you know that"

"I know...I just...thought I have may have gotten my dates wrong"

"Why would you think that? your notes as meticulous I know that much"

"I know it's just, it feels like you've been gone for a long time so..."

You raise an eyebrow "If i didn't know better Kyoya Ootori I would think that you miss me"

"More like I need someone else to deal with tamaki and the twins" You roll your eyes "You love them don't be so mean"

"If you say so"

You roll your eyes "Okay well if they are that unbearable it will be one more week until I am returning to Japan, and then your torment will be over don't worry"

Kyoya lets out a small chuckle "Good"

"Goodnight Kyoya"

"Goodnight y/n"

The room all of a sudden feels all too quiet as the call ends. One more week.

Next time on patience 'Kyoya's reluctant day out!'

Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848 @mistyhydrangeagarden

#kyoya ootori #kyoya ootori x reader #kyoya x reader #ohshc kyoya #ohshc #ohshc x reader #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #ouran highschool host club #ouran hshc #kaoru hitachiin #ouran #ouran kyoya #hikaru hitachiin #haruhi fujioka #tamaki suoh

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reigningqueenofwords · 11 months ago

Text

Pinky Promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,409

Read on AO3

“I have to go to my aunt’s wedding this weekend. So I won’t be able to play with you alllll weekend. I’m gonna be so bored.” You sighed, lying on the floor of the tree house your father built you a couple years prior. At 10, it was still your favorite place in the world.

Dean made a face. “That sucks!” He was your best friend in the whole world, and you spent every weekend playing together. “What am I supposed to do? Play with Sammy?”

You giggled at that. “Guess so.” You smiled at him. “What’re we gonna do when we grow up and get married?” You pouted. “We won’t be able to play every weekend together.”

“Well, I just won’t get married if I can’t play with you.” He said easily.

Sitting up, you had the look on your face that told him you had an idea. “What if we make a pinky swear?” You started. “If when we’re 25, we’re not married to other people… we get married.” Why wouldn’t you want to marry your best friend?

He thought for a minute and held up his pinky. “Alright.” He grinned when you looped your pinky finger with his.

It had been almost 15 years since that day. You hadn’t thought of that day in ages. Dean was still your best friend, too. That never changed, and neither of you let anyone get between the pair of you. Sure, there had been girls over the years that tried to get between you, but he swiftly dumped them. Chewing on your lip, you pulled up a text to Dean. Do you remember the pinky promise we made when we were 10? You sent. You and Dean shared a birthday, meaning both of you would be turning 25 in just over a month.

After a few minutes, he replied. Sure do! 😉 He sent, making you chuckle and roll your eyes. Why, what’s up? Meet someone and need to back out?

Your eyebrows shot up at that. Actually, I was just asking if you remembered. I mean, our birthdays are in a month. Don’t you think you should start looking at rings, mr? 😛 You sent, sitting up and looking around your room. It was December 20th, and you’d be driving home to your parents in a few days. You’d see Dean then, too. His parents lived a block over from yours.

Who says I haven’t been doing that already? Hmmmm? He countered.

You highly doubted that was the case. Are you trying to tell me that you, Dean Winchester, man who has never dated anyone for more than a year…has been looking at engagement rings and actually plans to make good on this 15 year old pinky promise? Getting up, you made your way to your kitchen. It was almost dinner time, but you didn’t know if you were actually hungry. Your mind was on overdrive. As you got older, you felt Dean would laugh off your pinky promise. He’d say you were just a couple of dumb kids.

I take pinky promises extremely seriously. Especially ones with my best friend. He sent, making you smile softly at that.

Please just don’t propose at Christmas in front of everyone lol That’s too much attention for my liking. You knew he’d understand. Small bits of attention were fine, but you liked blending into the background. He was the more outgoing of the two of you.

I promise 😀 He assured you. What day are you getting here, anyway?

The idea of dinner forgotten, you leaned against the counter. On the 23rd. You?

You watched the little bubbles pop up on your phone, hoping he would get there early, too. Guess I’m getting there on the 23rd, too. Meet me in the tree house? I’ll bring the beer, you bring the pizza?

Grinning, you giggled. Deal. Meet me there at about 4?

It’s a date!

The afternoon of the 23rd, you stepped into your parents house. “Dad!” You called out, dropping your bags. It was 2pm, so you had two hours before Dean showed up.

“There’s my girl!” He grinned, pulling you into a hug. “How was your drive?”

“Good.” You told him. “We want to hang out in the tree house, but it’s cold. Help me hang up some blankets or something so we won’t freeze?” You asked, keeping your arms around him.

He chuckled. “I did that yesterday. Dean called and tried to offer to pay for anything I need to make it a bit warmer out there. You could sleep out there. I made it so warm.” He said proudly.

“Oh wow!” You chuckled. “Thank you! Where’s mom?” Although you’d seen them for Thanksgiving, you missed them a lot.

“Getting ready for our date. I’m taking her out while you and Dean act like kids in the tree house again.” He kissed the top of your head.

You laughed, looking forward to this time with your parents, and your best friend. As far as you knew, no one but the pair of you knew of your pact. You never mentioned it to your parents, or other friends. Dean never told you he’d told anyone, and he wasn’t one to be very open with many people. However, you also knew all parents involved would be excited. Your parents loved Dean, and his parents loved you.

Dean hadn’t been lying. He had been looking at rings for you. He’d snuck into your childhood bedroom and borrowed a ring from your jewelry box when he was there for Thanksgiving. This way, he knew what size ring to get. He didn’t want to risk getting the wrong size.

What you didn’t know was that part of the reason he never dated anyone for too long was because he kept this pact in mind. It had always been you. He crossed his fingers that you’d both reach 25, unmarried, and not in a serious relationship.

He pulled into your parent’s driveway, grabbing the beer from the passenger’s seat. Part of him felt like he was coming home every time he got there. Smiling to himself, he made his way to the backyard. He could see some light from inside the tree house, and got excited. You were already in there. “Honey! I’m home!” He called, making his way up. It was a bit awkward with the bag with beer, but he managed.

“Dean!” You beamed when you saw him. As soon as he was completely in the tree house, you all but tackled him. “I’ve missed you.” You pouted as you pulled away.

He chuckled. “Well, here I am.” He swallowed. “I have something for you.”

“Dean, Christmas is in two days. You can’t wait two days to give me my Christmas present?” You teased.

“This isn’t your Christmas present. That’s in my trunk.” He told you, pulling out the small ring box. “I know we were just a couple silly kids when we made that pinky promise, but you’ve remained my best friend for all these years. You know just what to say on the days where everything has gone wrong. There’s no one else I could ever picture myself being with for the rest of my life. Will you make good on that pinky promise and marry me?”

Your eyes were wide, and you felt a tear fall down your cheek. “Yes!” You grinned, watching him slip on the ring. “How long have you been planning this?” You giggled.

“I borrowed an old ring of yours at Thanksgiving.” He admitted. “It’s on my nightstand. Kinda didn’t wanna give it back yet. And we spent a lot of time in this tree house, where else would I propose to you?”

You couldn’t stop smiling. “Guess we should talk about moving closer together, huh? Or moving in together?”

“Actually…”

Furrowing your brows, you weren’t sure what he was going to say. “What?”

He looked proud. “I put a down payment on a house. Just a couple streets over.” He told you. “Your dad already has plans to buy a treehouse in that backyard.”

“My dad knew about all this?”

Dean shook his head. “He knows I’m buying that house, and that I’d like a treehouse like this one, but I didn’t tell him I was proposing.” While he knew your dad would approve, your dad might have let something slip. “So, looks like we have a wedding to plan, sweetheart.”

“Damn right we do!”

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester oneshot

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myokk · 6 months ago

Note

Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?

Hello angel!!!!

Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓

We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓

I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).

I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓

HAPPY ENDING:

Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.

Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶

They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺

When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.

Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)

I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓

SAD ENDING:

After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)

Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)

BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺

He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.

(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)

Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏

#thank you for the ask!!!!#I have no chill when I answer these things which is why it takes me so long to answer them🥲#ngl I think the sad ending is quite romantic #but maybe I’m too chicken to follow through/what I have planned could change a lot & it won’t make sense anymore #and like I’m not COMPLETELY evil I like seeing them happy too🥺🥺#and I also really love the Black family & all of the canon characters…OFC I had to insert Eloise in that family somehow #and her mother was the PERFECT age !!!!!!!!!!! (according to the family tree)#I ALSO have a lot of thoughts on the Gaunts and actually how Ominis’s blindness prevents him from going insane like the rest of them #seem to have done by the time Tom Riddle’s around #(something something blind people can’t hallucinate so they can’t get psychosis)#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanart #hphl #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy oc #eloise babbit #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanart #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #also Sebastian’s childhood is just based on mine #I grew up in a TINY village and spent all day running outside and having adventures like crazy or readinf like crazy no in-between😆💓#ask

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loserlvrss · 2 months ago

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CHAPTER2 ✶ Fuckass Streamer Award Goes To... ( 𝐃ong𝐇yuck )─────엔시티

( ɪˈpɪfəni ). ㅤ𓈒 ㅤ𓈒 life gives you a second chance with the man who understood, and never sought to change you 이동혁 &fem!rea. ⟡ series, angst, streamer!au, second chance love 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬───language, depression & anxiety disorder, crude humor ⸝⸝ chap. wc : 1646THOU 🗯LiBRARY

You smiled, replying, “thank you,” as you read over the (specific) comment that was complimenting the selfie you used for engagement purposes. “It was after Alexa’s brother's birthday party—my running to the convenience store drunk, fit.” You read over the comments a little bit more, some saying that you were too dressed up to just go to a 7-eleven. “I take my outfits very seriously guys.”

You took a bite of the food at your side, scrolling through your music options. You didn’t plan on posting the stream to YouTube so, you weren’t really concerned with what was played.

“Are we fucking with Niki, chat?” You switched back to your Discord, “Oh my God, Jisung’s obsessed with me!”

You clicked, finally answering. A ping! filled your ears, making you jump. Then a familiar voice filled them instead, singing along to the song that you had just started playing: Lowkey. Your heart rate was through the roof, hand clutching your chest. “Oh my God! I almost stabbed myself!” The voice laughed through the attempt at hitting a higher note. “Remind me to turn that off later, okay?”

"Hey! You ignored me, and then decided to flame me on the main."

“Well, don’t be so easy to flame then, emo boy. I didn’t need you to scare the fuck outta me—like Freddy did you.” You laughed loud, putting the fork down, turning Jisung’s voice up. He still hummed along while trying to hold the conversation.

The chats messages were out of control, some thirsting over his deep voice, others reminiscing past streams you two did. Honestly, you’d met a lot of people through Heachan, Jisung one of them. They played first-person shooter games or League, and occasionally Haechan would teach you, putting his hand over yours and pressing the keys. It made your heart thump, a shooting pain in your chest.

You were just glad no one needed to choose sides after the breakup.

The song changed to: Sugarplum Elegy. Jisung took a second to actually acknowledge the chat’s messages (for him, obviously), greeting them.

Then he went silent when he realized, knowing that he was probably testing the waters, you tried to play it off, leaning back in the chair so your chat could (hopefully) not see your eyes glossing it over. “H-hey, what if we played a game, Ji?”

He cleared his throat, “Yes? Okay! Yeah,” He shouted, dragging out the end, “What should we play? Roblox? Minecraft? COD? Stardew?”

You hummed, ooh-ing at his options until they peaked your interest, “Roblox! Roblox!” Your fingers started clicking against the keyboard, he was doing the same, pulling up the game. “Although, when we do an in-person stream, we need to play a scary game again–like when you and Donghyuck played Five Nights at Freddy’s. Maybe Poppy’s Playtime Chapter Three.”

You must’ve not realized the words that came out of your mouth; too intrigued by the games you scrolled through. But, the chat started speeding by again, and the air felt stale, static heard over the other end of the call.

“What? What happened?” You asked, still oblivious. Well, that was until it practically smacked you like a train. You had to pretend like you weren’t in the middle of its wreck.

You heard Jisung audibly swallow, also pretending (for your sake) that he didn’t hear it either, “No, nothing! You just scrolled past a suss-ass game. Speaking of, what do you want to play?”

“What about…I don’t know, one of the well known ones? Then chat can join too.”

“Well, yes.” He should’ve just said duh! “But, which one? Natural Disaster Survival? Dress to Impress?”

“Wait! Natural Disaster Survival! I’m so good at this one!” He typed for a second, and then an invitation popped onto screen, you pressed it, the loading screen taking over momentarily.

It should’ve been funny how you could relate almost anything back to Donghyuck. The first time you played this game—even the first time you played Roblox—was with him.

You bit your lip trying to focus on the game instead of the looming thoughts of him in the back (and front) of your head. Mostly, because if you thought about him too long, you’d start to wonder if he ever did the same. But, you couldn’t even get close to watching a video he uploaded or stream of his to read between his lines. Still, you wondered, if you ever reached out, would he reply or would it radio silent? Would it give you the closure you think you crave?

You shouldn’t hold your breath.

For now, you were just two people who used to be more. And, you don’t know why that made you so sad. To think you used to share every dark and twisted secret—to hold the words so closely. To think you could’ve been so much more almost kills you. Sometimes you feel like you didn’t give it a shot, but in reality, that’s all you did.

You guess that you both wanted something the other couldn’t give…or maybe it wasn’t like that at all. Maybe he gave you everything you could’ve ever wanted and that's why it was so goddamn hard to get over this speed bump. You know it would be easier to loathe him, to pretend like he did something terrible and unforgivable. Although, he wasn’t like that no matter how many times you imagined it. No matter what you told yourself, it was never convincing enough. Every scenario ended with you being the bad guy in your story. Every scenario led back to him, and as much as you wanted to hate it, that was what got you through the night.

It’s said that time heals all, but how much time exactly until it becomes something deeper than surface level?

“I win!” Jisung shouted.

You had, obviously, died earlier; the chat mocking your statement about being good at the game. But you just wanted to brag to Jisung—the man who was good at every computer game. It was annoying, actually.

You started playing a different game, Jisung shouting, “Y/n! Y/n, I think they’re e-dating! That’s against the rules, let’s report them!” He laughed like he was scheming, “I did it! I reported them! Haha, losers!”

“At least they have someone—you and I are shit outta luck, buddy.”

“Damn…” He sighed, “I’m looking—”

“You’re great and all, but I’d actually rather date anything else.” You interrupted. “I think Jaemin, Mr. Pussy Slayer himself would be better.”

He scoffed, “Bold of you to assume I was talking to you! Bro’s before hoes, y/n.”

Your jaw dropped, “Oh my God, and the fuckass streamer award goes to…” You yelled down the mic, “Just say i’m fucking ugly next time, damn.”

Laughter erupted over the call, filling the tense air with something lighter. The chat spammed L’s, TMI’s or random romantic-confessions to each other. Then your MOD’s started spamming, no dating in the chat otherwise you get banned (jokingly) as retaliation.

They calmed down and so did your shared laughter, Jisung admitting that he had to leave to film a video—which you complained about not being invited to. Then, you said your goodbyes, ending the call.

“Guys, I should leave too.” You pouted your lip out, “I’ll be back soon, promise.”

You turned off the stream and almost sighed in relief, though it felt all but relieving. Honestly, you felt nervous, guilty even. Your hands shook as you shut down everything, turning off the lights and leaving the room with a shut door.

You couldn’t let the thought go. Does he feel the same way you do? Has he been kept up at night wondering if you loved someone else? Does he remember all the firsts and lasts you two had, like you can’t get out of your head? Do his thoughts echo your name, like his replays on yours? You felt like a scratched record, repeating what you already knew; what you feared most, how much you do regret it.

You said you wouldn’t—that you couldn’t—you decided mutually that it was for the best that you went your separate ways, and to not dwell on the past. But, here you were, doing the opposite. Would he think it was as pathetic as you do?

You hated how much he lingered on your nerves and flowed through your veins like a pretty poison. You hated how you had to meet someone so good you know you’ll never have better. And, you hated how much his thoughts and emotions were a mystery—a mystery you craved solving. You knew that if you died tonight, you’d regret not reaching out. Unfinished business or something. But, what if you didn’t die during the night and had to face the consequences of your actions? What if you had to face him again one day? Would you be able to? So many hypotheticals you weren’t sure you really wanted the answers to.

The ghost of your failed-relationship will always haunt you, and it only gets worse in the dead of the night when you’re alone with your thoughts. The cold moon always mocked you, never answering your silent pleas for someone to fix what you couldn’t turn back time to—something you used to desperately cry out for. Now, you know no one is listening. And it should be humbling, yet you don’t care how many times you have to keep his sweatshirt over your body to get even a bit of sleep.

At least you were sleeping now.

But, you never thought you’d have to imagine ways to figure out how to make someone miss you. You never thought you’d want to make him suffer like you were. However, you never thought you’d feel lonely like you used to feel his heartbeat against yours.

Nevertheless, it’s always the one who got away, wasn’t it?

🐻📦ˊˎ- i had to put ji in this somehow y'all...sue me

𝔱ags┊@kstrucknet @bbangbies @hhaechansmoless @dinonuguaegi @worldwidecutiemaya @chenlezip @nctrawberries @mmjjh1998 @luvs4haechan @nctfreak @hyuckluvr-com @cookiehaos @kiszjuli @yesohhsehun @neocity-net | fill out form

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charlesf1leclerc · 1 year ago

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Summary- Wedding dress shopping with the Leclerc family

Today was the day, the day you were going to pick your wedding dress out. You and your boyfriend had been together for 3 years before getting engaged. Being the youngest and only girl of the Leclerc siblings it was hard for your three brothers to accept your boyfriend but they came around eventually and secretly loved him like he was there biological brother. Safe to say now you were on big happy family.

Picking your wedding dress out was one of the final few pieces of the puzzle and for you was the most exciting, minus the actual wedding day. You wanted all the most important people to be there with you which meant your three older brothers and your mum ( because you loved her and also because she would be the best at actually helping pick a dress ).

You thought the boys wouldn’t want to come because they didn’t like shopping unless it was for themselves and they would normally just mope around but today they were actually just as excited as you maybe even more excited.

Going into the store you had a clear vision of what you wanted a long flowy white dress, with flowers coming up the front of the dress and a long veil to match. The assistant had chosen a few dresses that matched the images best while you your mum and brothers wandered the store picking out anything else you might like.

“ This one’s beautiful “ your mum pulled out a ball gown dress with puffy tule sleeves.

“ it’s a bit much mum” you looked at the dress it’s definitely not what you wanted

“ she’ll look like a giant snowball” Arthur laughed

“ no she won’t she’ll look beautiful no matter what she wears” Pascale slaps his arm

“ I’ll try it for you mum” you smiled at her

You all continued looking at dresses although at this point it seemed like only you and the assistant and maybe your mum were being helpful with what you actually want.

“ This one’s nice” you smiled pulling one out abit from the rack it was a strapless long dress with flowers up the Bodice like you wanted.

Your mum came over and looked at it nodding her head.

“Absolutely not” Charles shook his head

“ what why” you looked questionably at him

“ where are the sleeves” He observed the dress

“ that’s the point it’s strapless, don’t worry it stays up it’s like magic” you laughed

“ that’s a lot of chest y/n” Lorenzo said

“ ugh you guys are so annoying “ you rolled your eyes handing the dress to the lady walking away to find more.

“ I think this one would look lovely on you, covers everything and is elegant” Charles walked over with a dress to show you

“ Charles you can’t see any of me in that dress” it was a turtle neck satin dress with sleeves and when all the way to the floor.

“ Yes you can you can see the parts that matter your face “ He shoved the dress into your hands

“ Just go along with it sweetie, you’re there baby just as much as you’re mine” Pascale came over combing her hand through your hair.

“ are we done yet” Arthur mumbled walking to stand next to you to

“ I haven’t tried any on Arthur” you looked at him like he was stupid for not knowing that.

“ You’re trying them on!” He looked shocked

“ What did you think I was gonna do pick one and walk out of the store with it?”

“Yes!” You all rolled your eyes at him.

“ ok sir down we will start with all these” there were about 6 dresses to try on the start.

“ Start there’s gonna be more, why am I here” Arthur mumbled as he sat down on the couch next to his other family members.

“ you’re here because you love y/n and we want to make sure she looks beautiful on her wedding day” Pascale whispered to him out of the corner of his mouth.

It was abit overwhelming on where to start first. But you decided on starting with pascales pick first. Even though it was not your style you never know.

It was definitely a lot the dress was beautiful but it was just far to much fabric, you felt lost in the dress and the dress should compliment you not you compliment the dress.

“ Have you got it on” Arthur shouted

He’s so impatient

“Yes “ you replied

“ well can we see it” Lorenzo asked

“ I hate it”

“ just come out and show us hunny even if it’s not the one” your mum said considerately.

You opened the curtain and lifted the mountain of dress up to walk up the platform infront of them.

Pascale sat there in shock at the dress while your brothers looked more in a daze.

“ so…..” you waited for some verbal reaction, but they all just sat there.

“ hello can someone say something”

“Hunny you look beautiful, a princess “ your mum smiled her eyes welling up with tears

“ don’t cry mum , then I’ll cry and I don’t wanna cry” you shook your head

“ Y/n you look like a snowball”

“ARTHUR” you scolded, annoyed at him.

“ but a beautiful snowball, a really pretty snowball “ he continued.

You laughed at him “ your not crying are you”

“ no definitely not “ he looked away and whipped his eyes. He so was crying.

“ it’s not the one, but you look really pretty Cherie” Charles looked at you lovingly

“ even if half my chest is exposed” you laughed

“ I hate that but you’re always beautiful” he smiled

“ I agree , your gorgeous but if you don’t love it out the next one on” Lorenzo smiled at you.

“ you guys are gonna make it very hard to choose” You sniffed

“ oh no! Guys no one say anything y/n we don’t care which one you get just pick your favourite and let’s go” Arthur sunk into the couch.

“ whatever Arthur I know you love seeing the dresses on me you just won’t admit it” you walked back to the dressing room.

You had tried thousands of dresses on it felt like that day. You definitely did not like the turtleneck dress Charles picked out even though he love it. You did like a few of the others but you all agreed none of them were the one and you would keep trying. Now you were packing up getting ready to leave the store empty handed.

“ so your telling me I have to come back” Arthur asked shocked

“ would you shut up” Charles scolded

“ don’t worry y/n we will keep looking with you until you find the exact one you want, your dream dress”

“ Although you did look beautiful in everyone you tried “ Pascale acknowledged.

“ yes Papa would be proud of the beautiful woman you are” Lorenzo smiled wrapping his arm over your shoulder

“Guys I said don’t make me cry” you laughed.

You all walked out for he store together, you were grateful to have a family who supported you, your decisions and your man. You loved them very much but they always loved you more.

Authors note- Thanks for reading I hoped you enjoyed this quick little blurb. Be sure to check out my other work

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honeipie · 11 months ago

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plsplsplspls make the toast a series 😭

NATURALLY

izuku midoryia x reader

synopsis: going somewhere old to start something new

authors note: your wish is my command! i’ll probably make one more part beacause of one line i specifically wanna use LOLL

one | two | three | four

"izuku" inko's voice was light, but stern as she carried two mugs over to the small coffee table in her apartment. the same apartment that he had grown up in. of course, he had tried to buy her a house as soon as he received his first paycheck, but she refused. insisted that she didn't need much room for just herself. plus, she loved the little bursts of nostalgia she would get every so often from doing simple things. like making izuku's favorite cookies in the kitchen, or even walking by his old room which she kept perfectly intact. if someone walked in there they might've thought that he was still a teenage boy, but he wasn't.

there in her living room sat her son in his early adulthood. he almost took up half of the loveseat due to the growing muscle on his body. though even due to his increase in size, he shrunk down hearing his mother say his name.

she sat down next to him placing the mugs right on the coasters he had set out "you haven't answered my question"

izuku brought his two fingers up to rub the bridge of his nose "no, we're not together anymore" he mumbled in embarrassment and shame. it never felt good to tell anyone a relationship they invested time and money into didn't end up working out.

she frowned placing a hand on his back to rub slow circles "you got divorced after one week? izuku that can't be right.."

"no, no we didn't get divorced. we were actually, um" he was trying to figure out how to word this correctly to where he didn't sound insane "we were never officially married"

she stopped rubbing giving him a skeptical look "izuku what do you mean you were never married?"

he sighed leaning his elbows against his knees "we were supposed to sign the official marriage papers during the reception in front of everyone then send them in the next day. after that fight though? we just decided to not do it anymore"

"how did the press take it? i haven't seen anything"

"the press didn't know about the engagement or the wedding thankfully. we wanted a peaceful time to plan the wedding. they’re posting a breakup message for the both of us later today though. better to nip it in the bud now”

she nodded her head going to resume in rubbing his back "so when did you officially decide to call it off"

"yesterday"

"any specific reason? or a buildup of many?"

he paused for a moment, mulling over the answer "she would say one specific reason. i would say it built up over time" he shook his head in disbelief "couldn't even agree on that"

"what would she say the one reason was"

a lump caught in his throat at the question. such a simple fucking question that he didn't want to answer. but he knew if he didn't she would be a pain about it.

"y/n"

inko hummed at the very familiar name. you had been over mulitple times in the past years with and without her son. the two of you had grown close and she was like a mother to you. honestly, she had wished that izuku had gotten with you in the first place. would've saved a lot of time and trouble.

"well.. was she a strain to your relationship"

izuku scoffed, almost offended she even asked.

"she was never a problem for me-"

"well of course she wasn't a problem for you. that was your best friend"

"exactly! if uraraka couldn't understand that then it couldn't have worked between us. y/n was one of the first people to believe in me. i owe her a lot and i can't just let her go like that"

inko moved her hand from izuku's back and went to hold his hands instead "face me honey" izuku shifted his body so he was now facing his mother. growing older everyday, but still the strong woman he remembers when he was younger "i just wanted to apologize. for not bring able to give you a normal childhood with two parents in the home"

izuku's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion at her sudden apology "where is this coming from? mom it's fine. you did the best you could and i appreciate that more than anything else you could've done"

she patted on of his hands with a smile "i know you do sweetheart. but i'm mostly apologizing because you couldn't see what a real marriage consists of. the person you marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, but the easiest at the same time. love isn't enough to hold a marriage together, you need to be best friends before that. when you love someone on a surface level all you want to do is make sure they're happy. they won't tell you if something is bothering them. they'll follow you blindly into anything. when you marry your best friend you hold them accountable because you want to see them succeed in all that they do. it might make you fight sometimes, but at the end of the day it's worth it. because you have someone by your side you know that will stick it out with you for the rest of your years to come. that's what a marriage should be like"

".. so you're saying i should marry y/n?"

"i'm saying give it time. you don't need to jump back into another relationship immediately after this. what you should be doing is taking time to reflect on what you want, and when you're ready, how y/n makes you feel. and if you do feel something? let it flow. what happens will happen naturally”

---

the smell of hot glue filled your senses as you picked up a seashell from your pile. currently, you were at inko's house doing your monthly crafting sessions. who cares if you hadn't talked to izuku in four months? at least you had his mom.

last month the two of you had went to the beach to crochet, and ended up walking along the beach picking up seashells as you talked. that's when she let you know about the unspoken details of the breakup. you tried to hide your feelings with a stoic face and a simple 'wow'. though inko wasn't buying any of it.

she was currently letting you in on all the work drama she was currently having "i don't know why they want to get in my face like i'm the problem. ma'am, you have an STD, i'm a pediatric nurse. please let me do my job"

you threw your head back in laughter which drowned out the sound of keys jingling in the door.

"hey mom? i got those vegetables you were talking about. don't these tomatoes look fake?" he stopped mid-sentence seeing you sitting there on the floor with the same expression.

"oh no, i must've double booked you two" inko got up taking the bag from izuku's hands "you see every month y/n and i do crafty stuff together and it happened to land on the same day i told you i would make the stir fry"

you gave izuku a quick smile before turning from his lingering gaze "it's okay okaasan. i'll come back another day so we can finish it" you started to gather your things, but inko shook her head "you are staying for dinner. this recipe cooks for four and i am not eating all these leftovers"

you wanted to argue, but knew it would fall onto deaf ears "okay then"

“izuku honey. finish mines while i start on dinner”

“alright” he went to sit on the couch, knee almost brushing onto your shoulder. izuku watched as you placed one of the shells onto your frame carefully. getting the idea he started to do the same exact thing.

you could cut the tension with a knife. silence wasn’t something you were particularly used to with izuku.

“heard you and ochako broke up”

and at this moment he could start listing the things he loved about you.

1. you weren’t afraid to be blunt with him

both of his eyebrows raised and he blew out a puff of air “you don’t hold anything back”

“never did, never will”

he chuckled at your words glancing over at you. there was a slight smile on your face he could tell you were trying to hide. there was a slight slump to your shoulders though as time went on.

he continued with the project figuring he would wait until you spoke again.

like clockwork you turned looking directly into his eyes “can we talk?”

2. you made room for open and honest communication

he nodded placing the picture frame down carefully “yeah, unplug the hot glue and we can go in my room” you nodded unplugging the glue guns and heading over to his old room. he followed after you but not before turning back to his mom “we’re gonna talk”

she gave him a nod, but then quickly turned around when it finally registered “talk? like the talk? the talk so that you two can get together so i can finally have grandbabies talk?-“

“if i say yes will you stop it with that?”

“yes”

“then yes that talk”

she shooed him off into the room as if it was him holding them up. he rubbed the back of his neck while walking inside. with the other hand he closed the door with a soft click.

“how much of that did you hear?”

you shrugged going to sit on the bed “i didn’t hear any of it if it makes you feel better”

“it does actually” he sat himself down next to you with a huff. kirishima would probably kick him right now for how unmanly he’s being. forcing you to step up and take charge of the situation. he just wanted to test the waters out and see how you felt first.

“i guess i just wanted to catch up. really see how you’re feeling. cause i know you posted on the media you ended everything on good terms, but is everything really okay? i mean you broke up with the woman you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with. it’s okay to be upset”

3. you genuinely cared for him no matter what

“i-“ he cleared his throat from the unexpected voice crack that had arose “sorry, i’m pretty fine now actually. i just feel guilty for making ochako feel embarrassed about the whole situation. other than that.. i really don’t think we were meant to be anyways”

“what do you mean you didn’t think you were meant to be anyways? why’d you propose in the first place then?”

he shrugged taking off a loose strand on the all might themed duvet “i don’t think i knew what marriage was about. but i was informed very recently on what it is about and my vision changed” he watched as you turned to look at him with eyebrows raised.

“oh yeah? changed to what?”

“you”

your playful demeanor dropped immediately. his words truly sinking into the both of you. he attempted to scoot closer to you, but you backed away hesitantly.

“izuku we can’t do this. where you break up with ochako and come running to me? i’m not a second choice you know that right?” this is what you had always wanted, but at this moment it didn’t feel that way. with the current circumstances how else were you supposed to feel?

izuku’s eyes widened when he heard that and redness quickly creeped up his neck. he held both hands up shaking his head “that’s not it i swear! you were never my second choice. in fact, you were always my first. i could just never admit it to myself that maybe, maybe we could make it work romantically. i- i am attracted to you and everything like that! maybe i was with uraraka for so long that i didn’t notice what was right in front of me”

your throat had gone dry. was this really happening? the boy you’d been crushing on for eternity is finally asking you out after leaving his longtime girlfriend. totally normal, and totally not a chance you were willing to give up.

you wasted no time grabbing both of his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss. startled was an understatement as he felt his lips connecting to yours. though as he realized what was truly happening, he wasn’t complaining. he shut his eyes moving one hand to your cheek and the other on your waist.

despite the quick start, the kiss was soft and slow. tongues gently brushing together in steady movements. when you pulled away, there was a goofy smile on your face. izuku trailed more kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, right down your neck.

4. you were a damned good kisser

“you’ve got a lot of work to do. i hope you know that”

izuku hummed nodding his head “i’m willing to work for it”

“hm.. izu?”

“yeah” he mumbled clearly not wanting to your time be interrupted.

“i’m not saying this doesn’t feel nice, because it does, but can we save it? for one your mom is on the other room. and two? all might is staring dead into my soul”

he pulled away face bright red turning to the poster you were talking about. there he was in all his glory. all might standing there in his signature hero suit, beady blue eyes staring directly at the viewer. izuku turned back to you not being able to contain his laughter. you were right behind him leaning your head on his shoulder in a fit of giggles.

5. you were his best friend

taglist! @sagejin @crybabyl0l @yoihoshi-maki @reads-stuff-quietly @aejabba @valenspuppy @v3n7s 🫶🏾

let me know if you want to be added!

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olderthannetfic · 6 months ago

Note

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

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unicornachos2 · 1 month ago

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After finishing ROTE I'm trying to sort out my feelings about Robin Hobb as an author and it's sO hard. I've never had such a complicated relationship with an author while reading a series I don't think.

I think it comes down to her being... Kind of erratic and very contradictory in her work?

Like, she often seems to have amnesia about what she's built up in a character and then writes them differently like... Fitz learns and says things and then a book later he's back flipped or forgotten completely (perhaps bc RH herself forgets how he feels or what he's said in previous books? Which leads to inconsistent characterisation?) Some of how Beloved is written at the end of Ass Fate.... Idk if it's just BC it's from Bee's perspective, but there's stuff there narratively that makes no sense... Or maybe it does after all the trauma Beloved experienced? The way she wrote Nettle in tawny man vs how differently she's written in F&F....the way characters are inconsistently written bc the plot needs them to do certain things at certain moments.....

The way she has Beloved seriously question comphet gender stereotyping in ass quest and then.... Proceeds to nonstop write comphet gender stereotyping nonsense everywhere you look throughout the entire fucking series

Her writing of women and the way she pairs up any two cis characters of opposite sex who will stand next to each other just to make them reproduce as if she's Burrich forcing two horses together pisses me the fuck off, and I've already talked about that. P.S. on this. wHY did we need Lant/Spark? Insane.

Ass apprentice and royal assassin were absolute slogs for me, where I wasn't actually enjoying what I was reading and actively did not enjoy most of those books, but felt a very strong need to keep reading just to see what would happen?

Killing Chade offscreen after being with him for 16 entire books, never seeing Mercor again, Wintrow's weird fade-out in the series despite having so much focus in liveships

The way she wrote about ableism and disability with the dragons and rain Wilders was suuuuper flawed and I wish she hadn't gone there bc of how badly it was done. Thick could have literally been called anything else and nothing would have changed in the story

The way the story tries to be realistic in some areas and wildly unrealistic in others and how often it feels like whiplash

The way so many important things just go unfinished or skimmed over at the end of her books BC she seems to run into her word limit or something

And the magic systems just straight up make zero sense if you think about any of it too hard- whatever happens happens bc it serves the plot

And I think finally, this weird idea that I've never come across in any other series, about needing to choose between the people you love that permeates throughout ROTE. The way the author fabricates this false choice, where you have to choose who you love most and stay with them and them only. Burrich's "a horse can't wear two saddles". How Robin Hobb underscores the beauty of the stone wolf scene by needing to have Fitz remark to Bee that she lied well (indicating that he does in fact love Bee more than Beloved). How Molly would have spurned Nighteyes. How Burrich for some reason had to choose between Patience and Chivalry. Fitz, and countless other characters are always made to clarify or choose between who of their loved ones they "love the most". Again, absolute nonsense.

And then like. Somehow she manages to write the most beautiful prose and the most insane fucking queerbait of all time? (With a big No Homo stamped over all of it). And develops such loveable, flawed, interesting characters, and such engaging world building. Patience's entire existence, and the humour in the series and how insanely funny some moments are. Fitz's friendships with Riddle and Thick. Nighteyes. Bee and Fitz coming to know one another. The edge of your seat moments when you have to keep reading despite the horrible hour just so you can find out what happens. How Beloved and Fitz ultimately do change the world for the better. The life lessons given, and some of the clearest insights into trauma I've ever read. The tiny details that keep you fed to allow you to theorise and speculate. The way she's able to thread one theme throughout narrative, character, and dialogue.

I've never been so conflicted tbh. Like. I can understand why people are obsessed with this series (clearly I'm here in this camp), but I can also totally understand why people would never be able to get into this series, too. Like. I don't think I can ever rec it to anyone I know, just purely based on the final 10 chapters of Ship of Destiny. The fucking weird shit Verity did to Fitz and Kettricken. Like I think there are so many valid reasons why this series isn't as popular as other fantasy series, why it's never been turned into some big GOT style tv show (not that that is in any way a marker of quality, I'm just saying), etc. Like I love it, and I will always love it and I'm going to be thinking about it for the rest of my life, but I also. Did not enjoy or like a lot of ROTE, too. Anyway, two things can simultaneously be true and exist!

So I'm just. I'm processing. Anyway FitzLoved forever peace out

#rach reads rote #rote spoilers

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confused-rat · 2 months ago

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I kinda ended up watching Lily's Pokemon retrospective and it was fine at first.Nothing great or revolutionary, or even funny, but okay

Then she started modding in her Ralts, which felt unnecessary, but whatever. Kind of feels like it ruins the fun of making friends with new Pokemon, but that's just my opinion

Then she got to Black and White and I almost got scared by the way she repeatedly lost it on N? There was nothing funny about that. Especially if you remember that the kid was horrifically abused, but of course she doesn't mention that, she calls him a sweaty debate bro and derails the plot synopsis for minutes at a time to unload on him

Also she seems to think that every Gardevoir is her specific one, like from the Madhouse comics? Based on the way she talks about it and how she keeps posting images from that same comic and it's weird

She complains about Black and White having basic ass dialogue about dreams and ideals, but her favorite game series is Kingdom Hearts with its light and darkness galore

Oh and she kept addressing Junichi Masuda personally to blame him for everything she dislikes because he's the director? Kinda like how she blames Rebecca Sugar for everything Steven Universe. Junichi Masuda was the director of the game. The writer was called Toshinobu Matsumiya. It took me three seconds to google that

Junichi Masuda was also one of the composers, which is interesting because she was praising parts of the soundtrack in Ruby and Sapphire but didn't feel the need to name the people responsible for that

I actually didn't get farther than her Black and White review and after this, I'm not sure if I want to based on the velocity with which we hit rock bottom

Lily’s hatred of N is so weird. Like yeah, shit on the dude raised in a cult by an abusive father, who never knew how the real world worked and was raised thinking all Pokémon were horribly abused until he encountered the Player Trainer. Did she ever cover Blank and White 2? Or did she just bypass that bit of character insight?

(Oh hey, it’s worse in the manga!)

I’m not going to subject myself to a hours long Retrospective by a person who obviously doesn’t give a damn about the actual franchise or engaging with it in good faith. Power to you though anon for trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

(Also, the way Lily can’t even do the bare minimum of looking up sound design or writers when she does these retrospectives/reviews just shows how, even if she didn’t do all the horrible shit she’s done to others, she would still be a shitty YouTube critic. She made a whole joke about a straight dude writing gay characters better than gay writers and didn’t even look the writer up to realize HE WASN’T EVEN STRAIGHT. Basic fucking research. Didn’t fucking bother, because she wanted to potshot Rebecca Sugar more.)

#lily orchard critical #cd call critical #asks #video game talk

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musicalmoritz · 8 months ago

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Good Femslash Fics Already Exist

With the whole push for more femslash in fandoms, I’ve never understood the amount of hate I see femslash “fans” direct towards existing creations. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more variety, I do too, but every time someone brings up the fact that femslash fan fictions are already being written someone opens their mouth to say “yeah but those suck.” And then they proceed to read 300+ atrociously mischaracterized mlm fics. They complain abt plotless fluff and then read the exact same pwp scenarios over and over again

And hey, if you don’t want to read femslash that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend it interests you. I’m someone who actively looks for femslash and my only problem has been a lack of content in smaller/male-dominated fandoms, the fics themselves are cute af. Ya’ll are missing out on some real masterpieces by labeling all existing femslash fics as “boring,” some of my favorite fics ever are femslash. If an mlm ship invades the tags just filter it out, filter out every mlm pairing in the fandom if you have to. AO3 gives us that option for a reason

I’m not saying we don’t need more variety, but we’re not going to get that by shitting on writers who actively put in the work to make more femslash. When I started writing femslash consistently it was very discouraging because I’d seen soooooo many people online saying they want more femslash fics, yet nobody was reading mine. Then I looked at the stats on other femslash fics and they were the same, really great fics were barely getting any hits or kudos. It kinda sucks knowing that an mlm fic I wrote in 3 hours got more kudos than a wlw fic I spent months on (for pairings of relatively equal popularity). This seems to be the biggest roadblock for people wanting to write femslash, no one supports it. Even tho fandoms claim they would support it, they never do. It’s something I’ve learned to stop caring about but not every writer is gonna push through

This brings me back to a comment I saw about “boring, hair-braidy wlw fics.” That description really stood out to me, and to this day it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my old femslash fics that were “boring” and “hair-braidy.” But then I came across a fic for this one pairing that had actual hair-braiding. It was incredibly well-written and meaningful, exploring how both characters struggled to ask for help but they were able to recognize each other’s dilemmas and help in subtle ways. They did this, of course, by fixing each other’s hair when they both felt helpless to do anything with it. Such a simple way to express a very deep bond. This made me reassess the way people talk about femslash fics, and the way I’d been thinking of them myself. Is fluff really that much of a crime?? Do all cottagecore-type fics really have no substance?? Do femslash fics have to copy exactly what slash fics are doing, or are they allowed to have their own tropes??

My attitude towards the overload of plotless fluff wlw fics is “this is a good starting point.” We need more people writing femslash, more variety in what is written, but that doesn’t mean what we have is bad. I critique wlw fic tropes a lot but I always give the disclaimer that I actually love the fics themselves, I just want to see more of a different thing. And I comment on every femslash fic I read (every fic I read in general but especially femslash), I try to leave something thoughtful to let the writer know I appreciate the effort they put into their work. You’d be surprised how many writers said they were encouraged to update a fic or write more femslash because of a positive comment I left them. Engaging with fics will give you more of a good thing. It has so much more influence than that video you’re about to make talking about how there’s no good femslash fics. When you say things like that it actually discourages people from writing, and makes them feel bad about things they’ve already written. Support femslash writers guys, it’s sexy

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pienpup · 2 months ago

Text

okay, hi, i have tried to keep this specific topic quiet and under wraps because i wanted it to be over. however, people are just straight up lying about me. i will be responding to a specific public post with the lies in it just so i can specifically debunk things that are being spread.

i will not be linking the original post here, but i will be taking it paragraph by paragraph and debunking / sharing my side of the story. nobody will be named. the server in question, however, is named.

this drama started 6 months ago.

to preface: around October - November of 2024, I was in a discord server called Minefield. there were a few altercations in this discord server, but for the most part they were handled well by moderation or shut down.

something of note here that i will emphasize before anything else: the initial events were the result of me being unable to handle my own triggers. i have stated that i am responsible for them multiple times in private and i have just disconnected myself from this group of people and never interacted with them again to try to minimize this. however, lies are still being spread, i am still being harassed, and i don't know what to do anymore.

this post is long as fuck. the general TLDR here is that i got triggered, didn't handle it well, and things spiraled out of control.

if you need me to provide a shortened version please ask but i dont have the energy to make one right now.

if anyone would like to reblog to spread my side of things thatd be awesome but dont feel obligated.

this is going to be tagged publicly just so people see it. i will also link it in my pinned.

so, here is my account of the events that occurred. this will be under a cut.

first note: i dont have screenshots for a lot of this. i will try to find them where necessary and where i can, but i left this server. i dont have screenshots of the server.

first things first, this is misgendering me, and the OP literally never corrected it AND still posted this. thats not cool, man.

for the rest of these, to avoid unnecessary images, i will just be copy/pasting the text.

This talks about things from 6 months ago with new recent developments. Because they still haven’t actually taken responsibility for what they did.

Pom had brought up a ticket in a Discord server about being worried about a minor who was wanting to commit sui. Pom then left randomly and started posting hate about said minor, claiming the minor was venting about them (they weren’t), also claiming the minor was manipulative and a guilt-tripper (this isn’t true). A mod had called out this behavior, instead of taking the accountability for it, Pom had directed all of the hatred towards that specific mod and guilt-tripped the owner.

This is already misinformed. To begin: the ticket was not opened because of a minor threatening suicide, the threats began after the ticket was closed and the conversation that was occurring was shut off.

The ticket was opened because there was an inappropriate conversation occurring in general where users were filling out a kink tierlist. Both minors and adults were contributing, and I felt really pressured to engage in this conversation, and other people in the ticket said they did too. It wasn't just me.

I opened the ticket when the topic of CNC or consensual non consent came up. CNC in particular is triggering for me because in a past relationship there was unsafe practice of CNC. I don't call it abuse anymore because I think I was at fault for not communicating better, and that he was not an abuser. It is still a triggering topic. I had mentioned this instance in general, keep this in mind. I opened the ticket, said it was unsafe for minors to be talking about kinks (especially CNC) in general in a server without any sort of verification. Here, I should have expressed that I was not okay. I did not express that, and that was on me.

A user we will just refer to as W began venting after the conversation was shut down. These vents threatened suicide, and while they were not directed at me, I became even more triggered because people have threatened to kill themself to make me feel guilt about not wanting to engage in sex acts with them. I thought they were directed at me, and nobody ever bothered to tell me they weren't. I found out by proxy months later that they were about someone close in W's life.

I vented about this on my vent blog. I posted about leaving, and about how I, at the time, felt like nobody cared about me because nobody bothered to check on me. Nobody checked on me because I didn't express my distress. I know that now, months later after I have reflected on this a great deal. I should've communicated that maturely rather than leaving the server in a rush.

Some vent posts in question, they're still up.

Another thing I would like to note -- I never spoke to W. Before I knew the context of his vents, I did interpret it as guilt tripping and manipulative, and that was wrong. I made a mistake there. Like, that's just real life and I'm not gonna pretend that didn't happen. However, I never harassed W. I never even spoke to them, and they shouldn't have even been on my blog because my blog was marked as 16+ and they were under 16. I didn't think they'd even look at it. Those posts were for me to get my feelings out, not for W to see.

The day after, I spoke with the owner of the server, and another moderator we will call H. These letters aren't related to their names, I'm just picking out random ones. I do not remember what was said to H, genuinely, I just don't know because this interaction happened through asks. However, I was never informed that H was not the only moderator contributing here. I thought he was the only one talking, so the following statement made me upset.

Now, I still disagree with what was done here. I do not think it was appropriate to approach someone in crisis and tell them how they've hurt a bunch of people (without giving any context to that, even, I was not informed of what instances were being discussed) when they were trying to explain why they were upset and why they left. Something I will note here especially is that I have forgiven H, and I do not interact with him in any capacity nor do I talk about him. I think it was the responsibility of the older mods to recognize this as inappropriate, and wasn't on him. However, keep in mind, at the time I didn't know other mods contributed to this message, and I didn't know he had leaked my message to him to other mods. I never gave him permission to do that.

The instances mentioned in here are kind of problematic in itself. I can think of like 3 arguments I was involved in: a political one, one where i made a distasteful joke (about a musician) and was not clear about it being a joke, and a third one that everyone agreed was the other person's fault. Hell, that third one made me so upset and I felt so violated I changed my name. Also notable the second and third were the same user.

I also believe the political one is where the autism traits thing comes in? That's a whole other ordeal and I don't really feel it was even my fault, especially considering I apologized in dms to the other party and she apologized to me as well. I don't understand why it was still being discussed when it was resolved.

I am not entirely sure what they're referring to by guilt-tripping the owner, I was a little aggressive when I spoke to her, and I apologized for that later, but I don't really know what this is referring to.

Pom was wanting the server to be changed to how it was prior or they were going to leave. Pom had also suggested not protecting minors in that server by allowing nsfw talks to be a thing that could exist without those conversations being shut down (which even now, those conversations are shut down immediately once it gets out of hand). Pom was included in those nsfw conversations, making fun of kinks, and asked it to be shut down when someone had commented about how they had grooming trauma (this triggered Pom).

A lot of what Pom does is for themselves and will even deny what they’ve done. The minor they were worried about? They hurt and harassed with posts, making lies about them, and then getting upset only when something triggered them (them being Pom).

I do remember suggesting a few things being changed, like not allowing NSFW conversations and not allowing people to vent about users that are in the server. The second one is actually a rule in my own server, but again that was a misunderstanding.

Again I asked it to be shut down when the conversation of CNC came up, not when grooming was mentioned. I engaged in these conversations because I felt pressured to, as did many other people. Here is a screenshot from another former minefield user.

And again I believe this second paragraph here is about my vent posts about W. I did not harass W, in fact we apologized to each other through another user as a proxy.

note: the timestamps say "today" because this is a screenshot of a screenshot. i was not comfortable dming W so a friend did it for me.

I mean, this is how I spoke about W privately. So it just feels a bit odd that we've somehow landed on the idea that I harassed him viciously or something.

When a post was made about what Pom was doing, Pom said that they would start reporting harassing the mods/people that were talking about what they did and the issues it caused while Pom was making posts harassing the mods constantly while Pom was being asked to stop. Keep in mind that Pom said this VERY REAL MINOR was “made up” when said individual was a living human being.

I am going to be honest, I don't even know what the hell this is talking about. I did say I would report people who interacted with me at one point, but I genuinely don't... I don't know what this is about. I don't remember saying a person was made up.

The mod that Pom hated was 13, please also keep that in mind as well. Pom wanted this mod to be alone with them in a chat, but the mod refused if no one else could be with them. Pom is an adult.

So.. this.. is an odd one, to say the least. Around December I asked my friend to send a message to H to talk things out. At this point, I still thought H was the sole moderator responsible for the ask sent.

Something of note is that my friend was directly copy/pasting. So as far as I am aware, this is what was said and my messages were direct and not altered.

I would like to note here that I was prepared to apologize if I was respectfully informed of doing something wrong. I still didn't know what people were even upset about, and I'm still not 100% on the details.

H was not comfortable having a one-on-one conversation, so he proposed involving other moderators. However, I was not comfortable with the mods he proposed because I was afraid that it would turn into, well, me getting ganged up on.

I didn't want him to be alone in the chat, I just wasn't comfortable with the users that were being proposed to be in the chat with us.

More private messages from me, as evidence that this is in fact what I was feeling.

I won't share the majority of this conversation, because my goal here is to defend myself not make drama worse by placing my own accusations in response. I was not treated nicely here, and my complaints were dismissed by saying I was victimizing myself. This was the point where I put "minefield moderators dni" in my pinned post because I felt attacked and uncomfortable. This dni would lead to later drama that won't be touched on here.

This was in response to me explaining that block evasion is harassment.

I am only providing this to give context here that while I did make mistakes, not all of it was my fault and I was not treated well by the mod team.

The reason that Pom left the server was because “no one checked to make sure I was okay” when the mods were focused on trying to make sure the minor who was wanting to commit was okay.

This one is partially true (in the sense that it wasn't the only reason I left) and I admit wrongdoing here. If I needed help I should've expressed that, and the mods trying to help W, who was also in crisis, was not a bad thing.

Past the point of the initial drama, I don't think I was at fault anymore. I will take responsbility for not handling my triggers well, however, everything afterwards was kind of terrible for me. If there's things I don't remember that I did wrong that are brought up, I will take accountability for that.

Everything after this point is about jiraiconfessions, so I will not be discussing further instances of harassment, or anything like that. Again, my goal here is not to accuse the other party, but rather clear my name. Even if I believe what was done to me is wrong, I still don't really want to deal with posting accusations. It's just not worth it.

I do not want to have to post further. I do not want to have to bring out evidence or whatever and I just want this to be over. I don't gain joy from this, it makes me miserable. That is why I am choosing to not include my own accusations even if I believe there are things that were done wrong to me that I deserve an apology for.

Ultimately, even after this post, we are still going to disagree and that's fine. Just please keep your disagreements private instead of saying things about me publicly that aren't even true.

Now there’s the issues of jiraiconfessions, the blog they run and mod. They allow ableism, misandry, misinformation, and a bunch of other horrible things to run rampant without anyone being able to comment against it. There are many instances where they have let anons say whatever without any sort of moderation.

I don't know what this person is talking about with ableism, and if there was an ableist ask that went under my nose, the best thing to do would be to use my appeal system to get it taken down. I would not post ableism knowingly.

Misinformation here likely just refers to me posting different opinions, honestly. If something was misinformation again... use the appeal system.

Misandry is non-systemic and that's why I choose to post misandry but not things like misogyny. I have friends on both sides of the whole thing, and I'd rather just not take a stance. I'm kind of in the middle, I understand the nuance that it is wrong to tell the oppressed they can't hate their oppressors, but I also understand that there are disenfranchised men like trans men and MOC and not all men are actually oppressors. This is why I trigger tag it and provide the "gender discourse" tag for people to filter. If someone would like to tell me why this is bad, again, the appeal system is an option.

I moderate my posts pretty heavily, actually. I read every post before I queue it, and I am responsive when an appeal does happen. You can actually find instances of me apologizing and taking down posts. I'm also human, so, yeah, I make mistakes.

I don't allow reblogs but I do allow people to post separately. This is partially for my own sanity and to try to negate drama. The rule was initially put in place because the confessions account on twt generates a lot of drama, and I figured most people would be discouraged from fighting each other if they had to go and make their own post about it. That's honestly all there is to it.

With their post getting traction is because people are calling out predators, making sure that minors know who to block and avoid. Pom has said that there is sex work included on jirai spaces, but the way they had responded to a recent anon makes it seem like they’re excusing it by saying “people will look for sex work” whole minors are being sent unsolicited dick pics and being groomed. It shouldn’t be normalized because “that’s what you’re getting into in jirai spaces.” If you catch my drift.

Firstly, it was not made in response to people calling out predators. It was separate. I did not know people were getting unsolicited images nor did I know people were being groomed. My post was to emphasize that yes there will be predators here and you need to keep yourself safe. The history with underage SW means there will be predators in this space. That's all I meant by it and using buzz words like "normalized" doesn't.. change the actual meaning of my post.

I am not normalizing anything by stating that minors need to be safe on here and that you should not have a public blog if you are at extreme risk and if those interactions will harm you greatly. I know that second half isn't what people want to hear, but it comes from a place of concern. I don't want people to be hurt.

It shouldn't happen at all, obviously, never did I say it was normal or okay.

AAAND thats a wrap.

Again. I didn't wanna do this. I didn't want this. There are multiple times where I said I felt like I had no other option and chose not to do it and just tolerated the harassment anyways.

I'm doing it now and this isn't even everything I could talk about.

I am tired. I am sorry if some things are worded bad especially towards the end. This is exhausting and I do not like it.

Please do not make me do this shit EVER AGAINNN man I HATE THIS SHIT !!!

#jirai #jiraiblogging #landmine kei #landmine type #jirai kei #landmineblogging #jiraiblr #pien #pienblr

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