#when people did actually try and engage with me I never felt like we were on the same footing

[observethewalrus]

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[caffeinewitchcraft]

AITA for being proud of my job as a regional Nightmare?

My sister told me she’s making her own post and that if I was so sure I wasn’t TA then I should make my own so here I am.

I’m a regional Nightmare. I’m very proud of how hard I worked to get here. Not many terrors in their 20s get this high up and it’s because I do the work. I get up at 8pm and I’m out in the woods grinding out those quotas until dawn. Sometimes I sleep out there in my uniform just so I can be the first on scene for the multi-part jobs. I’m efficient, I’m punctual, and I’m committed. My goal is to be a Cyptid by the time I’m 30 and, to do that, I have to stay on at all times.

As a result, I work a lot. I’m often not home for days at a time. I have a very strict training regimen and my time for friends and family is virtually nonexistent. That’s why when I do get the time to hang out, I prefer to spend my time intentionally. What I mean by that is that I don’t want to sit on a couch when I could be lifting weights. I don’t want to chill in the pool when I could be volunteering for new scares. I especially don’t want to gossip over tea when I could be getting overtime.

Last Saturday, my sister invited a bunch of family over to her house. My job in the Virginia woods fell through, so I decided to go. Silly (her childhood nickname) said she had something important to tell the family so I thought it wouldn’t be a waste of my time.

Key word: thought.

When I got to Silly’s house, I was surprised to see so many cars out front. Our parents were there and our older brother. The house was packed. There were cousins, aunts, uncles and a ton of people I didn’t know.

At first the event was fine. Silly’s always been a good cook (see, I know you’re reading this, Silly, and see? I do compliment you when do something actually good) and everyone was really enjoying the flank steak (though I did have to save it before she cooked it medium well). But as the day wore on, I could tell people were getting bored. Silly and Mom were focused on cleaning up and said that dessert would have to wait until her fiance got home. Which was kind of rude to be late and I felt really bad for Silly. It seems like my soon to be brother-in-law (BIL for short) is never around when she needs him.

In an effort to help, I engaged some of the people I didn’t know in conversation because the party was getting a little dead and I didn’t want one of my sister’s parties to fail. I was trying hard not to think about the time I was wasting waiting for my future BIL so it also served as a distraction.

It turns out one of the guys was a fellow terror. He worked a corporate job and we talked for a while about the pros of being freelance like me. He asked me a lot of questions and I was happy to mentor another terror.  Corporate can suck the art out of what we do. My clients only care if the quota for their mission is met and don’t enforce such strict timelines. They come to me for quality. Poor guy barely had time to mend his uniform between scares (his cloak was tattered and his hook hand was rusty) so I recommended my tailor and blacksmith.

The guy and I exchanged information. I gave him my business card and he looked for one of his. While he looked, I felt nature calling so I headed upstairs to use my sister’s bathroom (like hell I was going to use the same one as my Uncle Joe). From up there, I saw my future BIL pull into the driveway.

 Being a regional Nightmare is a tough job. Like I said, I have to train a lot to keep my certification. So I thought it’d be a good idea to get a scare on my BIL both to punish him for being late and to make up for all the time I’d already wasted at the party.

So I waited for him to come upstairs to change and, when he did, I pulled out the works. I darkened the room and fell back into the shadows. Then, while he groped for the light switch, I stretched out my leg (I have an extra joint in them) and tried to nudge him. I honestly didn’t expect for him to trip and I DEFINITELY didn’t expect for him to fall backwards. I’ve been practicing this skill on my family since I was sixteen and got the leg extension mod and none of them ever fell like that.

My future BIL fell down the stairs. I panicked and raced over to look over the banister. He was fine! He wasn’t bleeding or anything and, when I saw that, I started to laugh.

Everyone freaked out though. They all said I was being immature and bullying my BIL. I told them it wasn’t bullying, it was my actual job. I said that I was just joking and didn’t know my BIL, a former “Cryptid”, would take it so hard.

My mom jumped in and backed me up, but my sister has always been the Queen of the castle. Silly and Dad kicked me out ( I mean, I let them, I’ve got enhanced strength and I didn’t want to hurt them). Dad called me a disgrace and to not come back home.

I asked him if he was really kicking me out just because I wanted to show off my skills a little? And he said yes. And Silly said I had it coming to me for a long time.

I don’t even know what went wrong.

 So AITA for taking pride in my work?

---.

SillyCreeper says: Oh my god, you actually made this post? You’re an actual idiot. For anyone who believes this story, read mine before you vote. My brother left out a few details like how the party was my GENDER REVEAL PARTY and that he’s not a regional Nightmare, he’s a  Slasher for hire.

OP replies: I am TRAINED to operate as a regional Nightmare. That makes me an independent regional Nightmare.

SillyCreeper replies: Regional Nightmares don’t steal failed missions from corporate Slashers

OP replies: Get your own post, Silly

SillyCreeper: Oh, I already did. Have fun being torn apart on yours, dumbass.

-----

Thanks for reading! If you'd like to read Silly's AITA post a week early, please consider becoming a patron (X)!

Aita for going no contact with my brother after he pulled a Scare on my husband?

I'm working on this anthology during November and I'm having a blast with this story in particular! The family drama keeps going on and on

[reigningqueenofwords]

Pinky Promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,409

Read on AO3

“I have to go to my aunt’s wedding this weekend. So I won’t be able to play with you alllll weekend. I’m gonna be so bored.” You sighed, lying on the floor of the tree house your father built you a couple years prior. At 10, it was still your favorite place in the world. 

Dean made a face. “That sucks!” He was your best friend in the whole world, and you spent every weekend playing together. “What am I supposed to do? Play with Sammy?” 

You giggled at that. “Guess so.” You smiled at him. “What’re we gonna do when we grow up and get married?” You pouted. “We won’t be able to play every weekend together.” 

“Well, I just won’t get married if I can’t play with you.” He said easily. 

Sitting up, you had the look on your face that told him you had an idea. “What if we make a pinky swear?” You started. “If when we’re 25, we’re not married to other people… we get married.” Why wouldn’t you want to marry your best friend? 

He thought for a minute and held up his pinky. “Alright.” He grinned when you looped your pinky finger with his. 

It had been almost 15 years since that day. You hadn’t thought of that day in ages. Dean was still your best friend, too. That never changed, and neither of you let anyone get between the pair of you. Sure, there had been girls over the years that tried to get between you, but he swiftly dumped them. Chewing on your lip, you pulled up a text to Dean. Do you remember the pinky promise we made when we were 10? You sent. You and Dean shared a birthday, meaning both of you would be turning 25 in just over a month. 

After a few minutes, he replied. Sure do! 😉 He sent, making you chuckle and roll your eyes. Why, what’s up? Meet someone and need to back out? 

Your eyebrows shot up at that. Actually, I was just asking if you remembered. I mean, our birthdays are in a month. Don’t you think you should start looking at rings, mr? 😛 You sent, sitting up and looking around your room. It was December 20th, and you’d be driving home to your parents in a few days. You’d see Dean then, too. His parents lived a block over from yours. 

Who says I haven’t been doing that already? Hmmmm? He countered. 

You highly doubted that was the case. Are you trying to tell me that you, Dean Winchester, man who has never dated anyone for more than a year…has been looking at engagement rings and actually plans to make good on this 15 year old pinky promise? Getting up, you made your way to your kitchen. It was almost dinner time, but you didn’t know if you were actually hungry. Your mind was on overdrive. As you got older, you felt Dean would laugh off your pinky promise. He’d say you were just a couple of dumb kids. 

I take pinky promises extremely seriously. Especially ones with my best friend. He sent, making you smile softly at that. 

Please just don’t propose at Christmas in front of everyone lol That’s too much attention for my liking. You knew he’d understand. Small bits of attention were fine, but you liked blending into the background. He was the more outgoing of the two of you. 

I promise 😀 He assured you. What day are you getting here, anyway? 

The idea of dinner forgotten, you leaned against the counter. On the 23rd. You?  

You watched the little bubbles pop up on your phone, hoping he would get there early, too. Guess I’m getting there on the 23rd, too. Meet me in the tree house? I’ll bring the beer, you bring the pizza? 

Grinning, you giggled. Deal. Meet me there at about 4? 

It’s a date! 

The afternoon of the 23rd, you stepped into your parents house. “Dad!” You called out, dropping your bags. It was 2pm, so you had two hours before Dean showed up. 

“There’s my girl!” He grinned, pulling you into a hug. “How was your drive?”

“Good.” You told him. “We want to hang out in the tree house, but it’s cold. Help me hang up some blankets or something so we won’t freeze?” You asked, keeping your arms around him. 

He chuckled. “I did that yesterday. Dean called and tried to offer to pay for anything I need to make it a bit warmer out there. You could sleep out there. I made it so warm.” He said proudly. 

“Oh wow!” You chuckled. “Thank you! Where’s mom?” Although you’d seen them for Thanksgiving, you missed them a lot. 

“Getting ready for our date. I’m taking her out while you and Dean act like kids in the tree house again.” He kissed the top of your head. 

You laughed, looking forward to this time with your parents, and your best friend. As far as you knew, no one but the pair of you knew of your pact. You never mentioned it to your parents, or other friends. Dean never told you he’d told anyone, and he wasn’t one to be very open with many people. However, you also knew all parents involved would be excited. Your parents loved Dean, and his parents loved you. 

Dean hadn’t been lying. He had been looking at rings for you. He’d snuck into your childhood bedroom and borrowed a ring from your jewelry box when he was there for Thanksgiving. This way, he knew what size ring to get. He didn’t want to risk getting the wrong size. 

What you didn’t know was that part of the reason he never dated anyone for too long was because he kept this pact in mind. It had always been you. He crossed his fingers that you’d both reach 25, unmarried, and not in a serious relationship. 

He pulled into your parent’s driveway, grabbing the beer from the passenger’s seat. Part of him felt like he was coming home every time he got there. Smiling to himself, he made his way to the backyard. He could see some light from inside the tree house, and got excited. You were already in there. “Honey! I’m home!” He called, making his way up. It was a bit awkward with the bag with beer, but he managed. 

“Dean!” You beamed when you saw him. As soon as he was completely in the tree house, you all but tackled him. “I’ve missed you.” You pouted as you pulled away. 

He chuckled. “Well, here I am.” He swallowed. “I have something for you.” 

“Dean, Christmas is in two days. You can’t wait two days to give me my Christmas present?” You teased. 

“This isn’t your Christmas present. That’s in my trunk.” He told you, pulling out the small ring box. “I know we were just a couple silly kids when we made that pinky promise, but you’ve remained my best friend for all these years. You know just what to say on the days where everything has gone wrong. There’s no one else I could ever picture myself being with for the rest of my life. Will you make good on that pinky promise and marry me?” 

Your eyes were wide, and you felt a tear fall down your cheek. “Yes!” You grinned, watching him slip on the ring. “How long have you been planning this?” You giggled. 

“I borrowed an old ring of yours at Thanksgiving.” He admitted. “It’s on my nightstand. Kinda didn’t wanna give it back yet. And we spent a lot of time in this tree house, where else would I propose to you?” 

You couldn’t stop smiling. “Guess we should talk about moving closer together, huh? Or moving in together?”

“Actually…” 

Furrowing your brows, you weren’t sure what he was going to say. “What?” 

He looked proud. “I put a down payment on a house. Just a couple streets over.” He told you. “Your dad already has plans to buy a treehouse in that backyard.” 

“My dad knew about all this?” 

Dean shook his head. “He knows I’m buying that house, and that I’d like a treehouse like this one, but I didn’t tell him I was proposing.” While he knew your dad would approve, your dad might have let something slip. “So, looks like we have a wedding to plan, sweetheart.” 

“Damn right we do!” 

[myokk]

Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?

Hello angel!!!!

Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓

We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓

I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).

I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓

HAPPY ENDING:

Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.

Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶

They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺

When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.

Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)

I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓

SAD ENDING:

After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)

Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)

BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺

He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.

(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)

Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏

[charlesf1leclerc]

Summary- Wedding dress shopping with the Leclerc family 

Today was the day, the day you were going to pick your wedding dress out. You and your boyfriend had been together for 3 years before getting engaged. Being the youngest and only girl of the Leclerc siblings it was hard for your three brothers to accept your boyfriend but they came around eventually and secretly loved him like he was there biological brother. Safe to say now you were on big happy family.

Picking your wedding dress out was one of the final few pieces of the puzzle and for you was the most exciting, minus the actual wedding day. You wanted all the most important people to be there with you which meant your three older brothers and your mum ( because you loved her and also because she would be the best at actually helping pick a dress ).

You thought the boys wouldn’t want to come because they didn’t like shopping unless it was for themselves and they would normally just mope around but today they were actually just as excited as you maybe even more excited. 

Going into the store you had a clear vision of what you wanted a long flowy white dress, with flowers coming up the front of the dress and a long veil to match. The assistant had chosen a few dresses that matched the images best while you your mum and brothers wandered the store picking out anything else you might like.

“ This one’s beautiful “ your mum pulled out a ball gown dress with puffy tule sleeves. 

“ it’s a bit much mum” you looked at the dress it’s definitely not what you wanted

“ she’ll look like a giant snowball” Arthur laughed

“ no she won’t she’ll look beautiful no matter what she wears” Pascale slaps his arm

“ I’ll try it for you mum” you smiled at her

You all continued looking at dresses although at this point it seemed like only you and the assistant and maybe your mum were being helpful with what you actually want.

“ This one’s nice” you smiled pulling one out abit from the rack it was a strapless long dress with flowers up the Bodice like you wanted.

Your mum came over and looked at it nodding her head.

“Absolutely not” Charles shook his head

“ what why” you looked questionably at him 

“ where are the sleeves” He observed the dress

“ that’s the point it’s strapless, don’t worry it stays up it’s like magic” you laughed

“ that’s a lot of chest y/n” Lorenzo said

“ ugh you guys are so annoying “ you rolled your eyes handing the dress to the lady walking away to find more.

“ I think this one would look lovely on you, covers everything and is elegant” Charles walked over with a dress to show you

“ Charles you can’t see any of me in that dress” it was a turtle neck satin dress with sleeves and when all the way to the floor.

“ Yes you can you can see the parts that matter your face “ He shoved the dress into your hands

“ Just go along with it sweetie, you’re there baby just as much as you’re mine” Pascale came over combing her hand through your hair.

“ are we done yet” Arthur mumbled walking to stand next to you to

“ I haven’t tried any on Arthur” you looked at him like he was stupid for not knowing that.

“ You’re trying them on!” He looked shocked

“ What did you think I was gonna do pick one and walk out of the store with it?”

“Yes!” You all rolled your eyes at him.

“ ok sir down we will start with all these” there were about 6 dresses to try on the start.

“ Start there’s gonna be more, why am I here” Arthur mumbled as he sat down on the couch next to his other family members.

“ you’re here because you love y/n and we want to make sure she looks beautiful on her wedding day” Pascale whispered to him out of the corner of his mouth. 

It was abit overwhelming on where to start first. But you decided on starting with pascales pick first. Even though it was not your style you never know. 

It was definitely a lot the dress was beautiful but it was just far to much fabric, you felt lost in the dress and the dress should compliment you not you compliment the dress. 

“ Have you got it on” Arthur shouted

He’s so impatient 

“Yes “ you replied 

“ well can we see it” Lorenzo asked

“ I hate it” 

“ just come out and show us hunny even if it’s not the one” your mum said considerately.

You opened the curtain and lifted the mountain of dress up to walk up the platform infront of them.

Pascale sat there in shock at the dress while your brothers looked more in a daze. 

“ so…..” you waited for some verbal reaction, but they all just sat there.

“ hello can someone say something” 

“Hunny you look beautiful, a princess “ your mum smiled her eyes welling up with tears

“ don’t cry mum , then I’ll cry and I don’t wanna cry” you shook your head

“ Y/n you look like a snowball” 

“ARTHUR” you scolded, annoyed at him.

“ but a beautiful snowball, a really pretty snowball “ he continued.

You laughed at him “ your not crying are you”

“ no definitely not “ he looked away and whipped his eyes. He so was crying. 

“ it’s not the one, but you look really pretty Cherie” Charles looked at you lovingly

“ even if half my chest is exposed” you laughed

“ I hate that but you’re always beautiful” he smiled 

“ I agree , your gorgeous but if you don’t love it out the next one on” Lorenzo smiled at you.

“ you guys are gonna make it very hard to choose” You sniffed

“ oh no! Guys no one say anything y/n we don’t care which one you get just pick your favourite and let’s go” Arthur sunk into the couch.

“ whatever Arthur I know you love seeing the dresses on me you just won’t admit it” you walked back to the dressing room.

You had tried thousands of dresses on it felt like that day. You definitely did not like the turtleneck dress Charles picked out even though he love it. You did like a few of the others but you all agreed none of them were the one and you would keep trying. Now you were packing up getting ready to leave the store empty handed. 

“ so your telling me I have to come back” Arthur asked shocked

“ would you shut up” Charles scolded 

“ don’t worry y/n we will keep looking with you until you find the exact one you want, your dream dress”

“ Although you did look beautiful in everyone you tried “ Pascale acknowledged.

“ yes Papa would be proud of the beautiful woman you are” Lorenzo smiled wrapping his arm over your shoulder

“Guys I said don’t make me cry” you laughed.

You all walked out for he store together, you were grateful to have a family who supported you, your decisions and your man. You loved them very much but they always loved you more.

Authors note- Thanks for reading I hoped you enjoyed this quick little blurb. Be sure to check out my other work 

[honeipie]

plsplsplspls make the toast a series 😭

NATURALLY

izuku midoryia x reader

synopsis: going somewhere old to start something new

authors note: your wish is my command! i’ll probably make one more part beacause of one line i specifically wanna use LOLL

one | two | three | four

"izuku" inko's voice was light, but stern as she carried two mugs over to the small coffee table in her apartment. the same apartment that he had grown up in. of course, he had tried to buy her a house as soon as he received his first paycheck, but she refused. insisted that she didn't need much room for just herself. plus, she loved the little bursts of nostalgia she would get every so often from doing simple things. like making izuku's favorite cookies in the kitchen, or even walking by his old room which she kept perfectly intact. if someone walked in there they might've thought that he was still a teenage boy, but he wasn't.

there in her living room sat her son in his early adulthood. he almost took up half of the loveseat due to the growing muscle on his body. though even due to his increase in size, he shrunk down hearing his mother say his name.

she sat down next to him placing the mugs right on the coasters he had set out "you haven't answered my question"

izuku brought his two fingers up to rub the bridge of his nose "no, we're not together anymore" he mumbled in embarrassment and shame. it never felt good to tell anyone a relationship they invested time and money into didn't end up working out.

she frowned placing a hand on his back to rub slow circles "you got divorced after one week? izuku that can't be right.."

"no, no we didn't get divorced. we were actually, um" he was trying to figure out how to word this correctly to where he didn't sound insane "we were never officially married"

she stopped rubbing giving him a skeptical look "izuku what do you mean you were never married?"

he sighed leaning his elbows against his knees "we were supposed to sign the official marriage papers during the reception in front of everyone then send them in the next day. after that fight though? we just decided to not do it anymore"

"how did the press take it? i haven't seen anything"

"the press didn't know about the engagement or the wedding thankfully. we wanted a peaceful time to plan the wedding. they’re posting a breakup message for the both of us later today though. better to nip it in the bud now”

she nodded her head going to resume in rubbing his back "so when did you officially decide to call it off"

"yesterday"

"any specific reason? or a buildup of many?"

he paused for a moment, mulling over the answer "she would say one specific reason. i would say it built up over time" he shook his head in disbelief "couldn't even agree on that"

"what would she say the one reason was"

a lump caught in his throat at the question. such a simple fucking question that he didn't want to answer. but he knew if he didn't she would be a pain about it.

"y/n"

inko hummed at the very familiar name. you had been over mulitple times in the past years with and without her son. the two of you had grown close and she was like a mother to you. honestly, she had wished that izuku had gotten with you in the first place. would've saved a lot of time and trouble.

"well.. was she a strain to your relationship"

izuku scoffed, almost offended she even asked.

"she was never a problem for me-"

"well of course she wasn't a problem for you. that was your best friend"

"exactly! if uraraka couldn't understand that then it couldn't have worked between us. y/n was one of the first people to believe in me. i owe her a lot and i can't just let her go like that"

inko moved her hand from izuku's back and went to hold his hands instead "face me honey" izuku shifted his body so he was now facing his mother. growing older everyday, but still the strong woman he remembers when he was younger "i just wanted to apologize. for not bring able to give you a normal childhood with two parents in the home"

izuku's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion at her sudden apology "where is this coming from? mom it's fine. you did the best you could and i appreciate that more than anything else you could've done"

she patted on of his hands with a smile "i know you do sweetheart. but i'm mostly apologizing because you couldn't see what a real marriage consists of. the person you marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, but the easiest at the same time. love isn't enough to hold a marriage together, you need to be best friends before that. when you love someone on a surface level all you want to do is make sure they're happy. they won't tell you if something is bothering them. they'll follow you blindly into anything. when you marry your best friend you hold them accountable because you want to see them succeed in all that they do. it might make you fight sometimes, but at the end of the day it's worth it. because you have someone by your side you know that will stick it out with you for the rest of your years to come. that's what a marriage should be like"

".. so you're saying i should marry y/n?"

"i'm saying give it time. you don't need to jump back into another relationship immediately after this. what you should be doing is taking time to reflect on what you want, and when you're ready, how y/n makes you feel. and if you do feel something? let it flow. what happens will happen naturally”

---

the smell of hot glue filled your senses as you picked up a seashell from your pile. currently, you were at inko's house doing your monthly crafting sessions. who cares if you hadn't talked to izuku in four months? at least you had his mom.

last month the two of you had went to the beach to crochet, and ended up walking along the beach picking up seashells as you talked. that's when she let you know about the unspoken details of the breakup. you tried to hide your feelings with a stoic face and a simple 'wow'. though inko wasn't buying any of it.

she was currently letting you in on all the work drama she was currently having "i don't know why they want to get in my face like i'm the problem. ma'am, you have an STD, i'm a pediatric nurse. please let me do my job"

you threw your head back in laughter which drowned out the sound of keys jingling in the door.

"hey mom? i got those vegetables you were talking about. don't these tomatoes look fake?" he stopped mid-sentence seeing you sitting there on the floor with the same expression.

"oh no, i must've double booked you two" inko got up taking the bag from izuku's hands "you see every month y/n and i do crafty stuff together and it happened to land on the same day i told you i would make the stir fry"

you gave izuku a quick smile before turning from his lingering gaze "it's okay okaasan. i'll come back another day so we can finish it" you started to gather your things, but inko shook her head "you are staying for dinner. this recipe cooks for four and i am not eating all these leftovers"

you wanted to argue, but knew it would fall onto deaf ears "okay then"

“izuku honey. finish mines while i start on dinner”

“alright” he went to sit on the couch, knee almost brushing onto your shoulder. izuku watched as you placed one of the shells onto your frame carefully. getting the idea he started to do the same exact thing.

you could cut the tension with a knife. silence wasn’t something you were particularly used to with izuku.

“heard you and ochako broke up”

and at this moment he could start listing the things he loved about you.

1. you weren’t afraid to be blunt with him

both of his eyebrows raised and he blew out a puff of air “you don’t hold anything back”

“never did, never will”

he chuckled at your words glancing over at you. there was a slight smile on your face he could tell you were trying to hide. there was a slight slump to your shoulders though as time went on.

he continued with the project figuring he would wait until you spoke again.

like clockwork you turned looking directly into his eyes “can we talk?”

2. you made room for open and honest communication

he nodded placing the picture frame down carefully “yeah, unplug the hot glue and we can go in my room” you nodded unplugging the glue guns and heading over to his old room. he followed after you but not before turning back to his mom “we’re gonna talk”

she gave him a nod, but then quickly turned around when it finally registered “talk? like the talk? the talk so that you two can get together so i can finally have grandbabies talk?-“

“if i say yes will you stop it with that?”

“yes”

“then yes that talk”

she shooed him off into the room as if it was him holding them up. he rubbed the back of his neck while walking inside. with the other hand he closed the door with a soft click.

“how much of that did you hear?”

you shrugged going to sit on the bed “i didn’t hear any of it if it makes you feel better”

“it does actually” he sat himself down next to you with a huff. kirishima would probably kick him right now for how unmanly he’s being. forcing you to step up and take charge of the situation. he just wanted to test the waters out and see how you felt first.

“i guess i just wanted to catch up. really see how you’re feeling. cause i know you posted on the media you ended everything on good terms, but is everything really okay? i mean you broke up with the woman you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with. it’s okay to be upset”

3. you genuinely cared for him no matter what

“i-“ he cleared his throat from the unexpected voice crack that had arose “sorry, i’m pretty fine now actually. i just feel guilty for making ochako feel embarrassed about the whole situation. other than that.. i really don’t think we were meant to be anyways”

“what do you mean you didn’t think you were meant to be anyways? why’d you propose in the first place then?”

he shrugged taking off a loose strand on the all might themed duvet “i don’t think i knew what marriage was about. but i was informed very recently on what it is about and my vision changed” he watched as you turned to look at him with eyebrows raised.

“oh yeah? changed to what?”

“you”

your playful demeanor dropped immediately. his words truly sinking into the both of you. he attempted to scoot closer to you, but you backed away hesitantly.

“izuku we can’t do this. where you break up with ochako and come running to me? i’m not a second choice you know that right?” this is what you had always wanted, but at this moment it didn’t feel that way. with the current circumstances how else were you supposed to feel?

izuku’s eyes widened when he heard that and redness quickly creeped up his neck. he held both hands up shaking his head “that’s not it i swear! you were never my second choice. in fact, you were always my first. i could just never admit it to myself that maybe, maybe we could make it work romantically. i- i am attracted to you and everything like that! maybe i was with uraraka for so long that i didn’t notice what was right in front of me”

your throat had gone dry. was this really happening? the boy you’d been crushing on for eternity is finally asking you out after leaving his longtime girlfriend. totally normal, and totally not a chance you were willing to give up.

you wasted no time grabbing both of his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss. startled was an understatement as he felt his lips connecting to yours. though as he realized what was truly happening, he wasn’t complaining. he shut his eyes moving one hand to your cheek and the other on your waist.

despite the quick start, the kiss was soft and slow. tongues gently brushing together in steady movements. when you pulled away, there was a goofy smile on your face. izuku trailed more kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, right down your neck.

4. you were a damned good kisser

“you’ve got a lot of work to do. i hope you know that”

izuku hummed nodding his head “i’m willing to work for it”

“hm.. izu?”

“yeah” he mumbled clearly not wanting to your time be interrupted.

“i’m not saying this doesn’t feel nice, because it does, but can we save it? for one your mom is on the other room. and two? all might is staring dead into my soul”

he pulled away face bright red turning to the poster you were talking about. there he was in all his glory. all might standing there in his signature hero suit, beady blue eyes staring directly at the viewer. izuku turned back to you not being able to contain his laughter. you were right behind him leaning your head on his shoulder in a fit of giggles.

5. you were his best friend

taglist! @sagejin @crybabyl0l @yoihoshi-maki @reads-stuff-quietly @aejabba @valenspuppy @v3n7s 🫶🏾

let me know if you want to be added!

[nerdy-frog98]

Okay listen, I get that I have little experience in the 9-1-1 fandom, but what in the actual hell is the weird response to the bucktommy breakup? It was never this weird with other love interest breakups right? Of Buck’s love interests, Abby and Taylor were the only ones developed enough to warrant any sort of strong reaction. Tommy had no development.

Seriously. What did we know about him?:

He’s gay. He’s a pilot. He has a history of sexism and racism. He likes basketball and Muay Thai. And….? We saw nothing of his personal life, we saw little of his personality, and we didn’t see him and Buck actually power through any obstacles. Because that was the point, he was a plot device. It was painfully obvious he wasn’t going to be a lasting love interest…was it not? I don’t mean how little he was developed (because obviously that dev could’ve been done), but because of how HEAVILY Eddie haunted the narrative. Bucktommy’s first kiss genuinely shocked the hell out of me and my casual viewer sis-in-law because both of us felt it was obvious that Buck was trying to get Eddie’s attention. (seriously, that whole scene with Eddie on the phone in the firehouse and Buck peacocking to try and get Eddie’s attention…That was fucking obvious. I got a bruise from how hard that smacked me in the face.)

I realize I’m a buddie shipper so I am biased, but I’m a buddie shipper BECAUSE that is what the narrative has led me to. However, when Tommy was reintroduced, I made an actual effort to like him. I tried not to engage with the Buddie majority that hated him because I wanted to see if my mind could be changed, and ya know what? All it did was make me believe that there’s literally nobody else that they can end up with. Whether it was accidental on the writer’s part or purposeful, Buck and Eddie have been written into a romantic corner with only one way out, and that’s through each other. (Unless they somehow introduce two love interests that can beat a 7-season long slow burn friends-to-lovers with insanely good late bloomer queer representation. lol.)

I’m genuinely trying to understand though. How are people going this insane over Tommy? What exactly did he do that was so fantastic and amazing that he deserved undying loyalty? The kind of loyalty that sparks people to write weird fucking messages on Oliver’s instagram about him being biphobic(???????) and then making jokes about deporting him and Ryan. What the fuck.

I could maybe understand the outrage if it was a character who was well developed and beautifully written (like Chimney or Hen), and I could even see it if it was a beloved side character (like Ravi or May), but. seriously. Tommy?

Anyway, normally I would say “eh who am I to judge what people get attached to?” But in this case I am a little bit judgmental.

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[musicalmoritz]

Good Femslash Fics Already Exist

With the whole push for more femslash in fandoms, I’ve never understood the amount of hate I see femslash “fans” direct towards existing creations. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more variety, I do too, but every time someone brings up the fact that femslash fan fictions are already being written someone opens their mouth to say “yeah but those suck.” And then they proceed to read 300+ atrociously mischaracterized mlm fics. They complain abt plotless fluff and then read the exact same pwp scenarios over and over again

And hey, if you don’t want to read femslash that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend it interests you. I’m someone who actively looks for femslash and my only problem has been a lack of content in smaller/male-dominated fandoms, the fics themselves are cute af. Ya’ll are missing out on some real masterpieces by labeling all existing femslash fics as “boring,” some of my favorite fics ever are femslash. If an mlm ship invades the tags just filter it out, filter out every mlm pairing in the fandom if you have to. AO3 gives us that option for a reason

I’m not saying we don’t need more variety, but we’re not going to get that by shitting on writers who actively put in the work to make more femslash. When I started writing femslash consistently it was very discouraging because I’d seen soooooo many people online saying they want more femslash fics, yet nobody was reading mine. Then I looked at the stats on other femslash fics and they were the same, really great fics were barely getting any hits or kudos. It kinda sucks knowing that an mlm fic I wrote in 3 hours got more kudos than a wlw fic I spent months on (for pairings of relatively equal popularity). This seems to be the biggest roadblock for people wanting to write femslash, no one supports it. Even tho fandoms claim they would support it, they never do. It’s something I’ve learned to stop caring about but not every writer is gonna push through

This brings me back to a comment I saw about “boring, hair-braidy wlw fics.” That description really stood out to me, and to this day it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my old femslash fics that were “boring” and “hair-braidy.” But then I came across a fic for this one pairing that had actual hair-braiding. It was incredibly well-written and meaningful, exploring how both characters struggled to ask for help but they were able to recognize each other’s dilemmas and help in subtle ways. They did this, of course, by fixing each other’s hair when they both felt helpless to do anything with it. Such a simple way to express a very deep bond. This made me reassess the way people talk about femslash fics, and the way I’d been thinking of them myself. Is fluff really that much of a crime?? Do all cottagecore-type fics really have no substance?? Do femslash fics have to copy exactly what slash fics are doing, or are they allowed to have their own tropes??

My attitude towards the overload of plotless fluff wlw fics is “this is a good starting point.” We need more people writing femslash, more variety in what is written, but that doesn’t mean what we have is bad. I critique wlw fic tropes a lot but I always give the disclaimer that I actually love the fics themselves, I just want to see more of a different thing. And I comment on every femslash fic I read (every fic I read in general but especially femslash), I try to leave something thoughtful to let the writer know I appreciate the effort they put into their work. You’d be surprised how many writers said they were encouraged to update a fic or write more femslash because of a positive comment I left them. Engaging with fics will give you more of a good thing. It has so much more influence than that video you’re about to make talking about how there’s no good femslash fics. When you say things like that it actually discourages people from writing, and makes them feel bad about things they’ve already written. Support femslash writers guys, it’s sexy

[selkiewife]

When Aegon talked about his genital injury- there's an obvious callback to Game of Thrones and Theon. And the way they played that for laughs. The way Ramsay ate a sausage while Theon, tortured and broken and mutilated, was hung up on that sartre and we were supposed to laugh at this. They must have been calling back to that? Right? And yet... the way it is delivered. The way Aegon says it- dissociating- trying to explain to Larys just what was done to him. He's not just talking (maybe for the first time?) to someone with an empathetic ear about his injuries. But he is also using it to challenge what Larys is telling him. That there is a future for him. That there are better days ahead. How? When he is unable to put an heir on the throne to follow him? He has Jaehaera, but she does not fit in the narrow definition of what an heir is- just like Rhaenrya does not. Just as he (now) does not. I know that people did laugh. I know that there were memes. But I guess what struck me is how the "joke" is put into Aegon's mouth first. Instead of a joke that is made at his expense, it is a bitter/graveyard humor (??) that he himself is engaging in- or maybe he is just stating the bleak facts. Personally, I didn't feel like it was a joke- I felt like maybe the character was telling a joke to kind of deal with this horrific thing they went through- but even here Tom plays it as if he is dissociating a bit as he describes it- especially as he goes on to talk about what it is like to live with this kind of injury. I don't know what the writers' intentions were. But I know that Tom delivered it in a way where I just felt empathy and horror on Aegon's behalf. I felt the same (obviously) for Theon as well but he was never actually given to space to talk about it in this way. He wasn't allowed to engage in dark humor about it. Only others were allowed to relentlessly mock him- and Grey Worm, Varys and the Unsullied about it. And I found that enraging. Aegon is given the space to talk about it on his own terms and it seems in character. But I can also see how people would think the writers were trying to do a callback joke. Even if they were, I feel like Tom's delivery distracted me (me! who is obsessed with Theon and very sensitive to this sort of thing) from thinking about it as a deliberate joke until after the fact. What did you all think? In any case, Tom and Matthew gave an incredibly sensitive and compelling performance of it.

[gothic-thoughts]

Wrath Of The Rock

(sorry it's so late i was on a family vacay 🙏🏾🙏🏾)

Zhongli x Black Fem Reader Smut

Employee!Reader, No Powers!reader

CW: protected sex (he would, we stan😩), against the wall, on the bed, Zhongli's way of dirty talking (lol wut), Not Proofread

Word Count: 1498 (give or take)

I tried everything! I tried hiding stuff from his desk and asking him dumb questions but nothing worked, he seemed to brush it off by shaking his head and chuckling as he walked away. How is that man so calm and collected? It’s incredible. I wanna try harder but I don't wanna be toxic, I just wanna see if he can actually get annoyed. Three soft knocks suddenly echo from my door.

"(Y/n), are you awake?"

Speak of the devil. "Yeah, hold on!" I jog to the door and open it revealing the tall, brunette man, "Yes Zhongli? Isn't it a little late for funeral planning?"

"Apologies, but this isn’t funeral parlor related.”

My heart drops. “Oh...”

“Unless, you’re busy at the moment... may I come in?”

I’m so fired. I nod as I back into my room, allowing him to walk in and close the door, locking it behind him. He just... Does he know that--

“Now then, I came to discuss our agreement.” He pinches the fingers of his gloves, pulling one off after the other, “Do you know why that is?”

"I- uh... no.”

“Because you dishonored it, (Y/n). You know how I feel about that.”

Zhongli stalks forward with that same calm demeanor, making me back away and further into my room. He placed down his gloves on my dresser as he walked and before I knew it, I felt the chill of the wall against my back and straightened up, knowing I wasn’t going to escape his scolding or even rage if he showed it. I don’t even know what I did.

“Our agreement...” He unbuttons his coat, sliding it down his arms and gently laying it on the foot of my bed, “Was that, aside from anything of importance, you would have no contact with Childe. Do you recall?”

“...Yes...”

“And yet I saw you and him talking just outside Liyue’s entrance.”

“I thought it was important.”

His waistcoat was the next to be unbuttoned, “Then you should’ve excused yourself the moment you knew it wasn’t, not stay and joke around with him.”

“What, but we were just talking, it wasn't a big deal, Li. Why do you think he’s so dangerous?”

“It's not him I'm worried about. I’ve told you why before you agreed to my conditions...” He loosens and pulls off his tie, “That man is the target of many dangerous people and loves to engage in combat with said people."

"But--"

"And on top of that you were outside of Liyue’s gates— vulnerable to any other monsters out there that would've found you interesting.”

I watch as he undresses until his open shirt frames his abs and ends up pushing the thought of struggling or leaving out of my mind. I've gotten this far, right? I nod, feigning defeat as he starts to undo his pants to reveal the long bulge hiding behind his boxers. I bite my lip trying not to look directly at it.

“Now, you have to face the punishment for your disloyalty.” Zhongli whispered, “Will you accept it willingly?”

"Yes."

"Prove it."

I nod eagerly, turning around and pressing my face and clothed breasts against the wall, pushing my lower half back to him with a small wiggle. I hear a deep chuckle from behind me as my large slim hand rests on my hip and he helps my butt meet his bulge. I shiver and press my hands on the wall.

“I suppose I did say willingly, huh?” He chuckles, dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles.

“I can’t help it, I never seen you like this...”

Zhongli chuckles lowly and leans down close to the shell of my ear as he gently pushes my legs apart and rubs his hand along the curve of my ass. His hand trails down to my pussy, the slim middle finger slowly sliding through my wetness while he hums at the feeling.

“You’ve never seen me when I’m punishing disloyalty?” His finger strokes my clit, “When I’m upholding the consequences of a broken contract?"

My back arches. “No...”

“Hm...” His finger drags from my clit to sink into my wet hole, “Really now? And you’ve never been on the receiving end either...?”

“No.”

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing this isn’t your punishment. This wouldn’t really be a punishment if you enjoyed it, (Y/n).”

“What?”

He pulls his hand away and slowly pushes his pants and underwear until his long, bare cock was resting against my ass. I hear the crinkling of a wrapper and a small ripping sound before his shaft was lifted from my lower back-- only a moment before it was slotted between my thighs. I looked down at it to see it now wrapped in thin, amber-colored rubber, holding my breath as my thoughts raced.

Fuck, he looks bigger than I thought. How rough is he gonna be, it’s Zhongli, right? He wouldn’t be rough... Zhongli held my hips firmly, keeping me in place as he slowly pushed his dick inside me, counting every exact inch while I stretched and squeezed around him eagerly until he reached eight. He growled, tightening his grip as his hips pulled back to thrust in deeply. I gasp out, fingers bracing on the wall.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“I-Is this a test?”

“I told you this part isn’t your punishment.”

“Then wh-what is this part?”

“The cause.”

My legs wobble from the weight of his body pressed against me matched with the weight of his cock twitching inside me, every vein stroking against my warm and inviting walls. Zhongli pulls back again and holds my hips as he starts fucking into me at a quick and deep pace, leaving me to whimper his name helplessly. I reach behind and push on his lower stomach, in an attempt to slow his thrusts when he grabs my wrist and holds it behind my back with a soft grunt.

“Shhh, you told me you’d take it willingly... Or was that another lie...?”

“N-No, it’s just so deep.”

“Of course. You know I am a very thorough man.”

His thrusts got faster and his tip started to gently kiss my cervix as if it were warning me of what was soon to come. I came for the first time, making me gasp out and grip the wall while he merely hummed at the extra tightness. Zhongli's arm wrapped around my waist held me tight against him, and groaned out as he pounded into my cunt harder than before, making me throw my head back and look up at his stoic face while digging my nails into the white paint of my room wall.

"That's it, oh yes... you're clenching so beautifully around my shaft. It's almost as if you want your punishment.” He drops his voice to another whisper, “And if that’s the case then I should just pull out right now."

“No! N-no, I don’t want it...” I lied, fingers pressing hard into the wall, “I don’t... ah~”

“Come to think of it, your legs aren’t trembling enough... And your eyes don’t seem to be glazed... hm.”

He suddenly picked me up and dropped me onto my bed before he sinks his cock back in, his tip back against my cervix. His determined eyes locked with mine while his cock resumed its pace, not even bothering to start off slow. Zhongli's quick, deep strokes bounce me on my mattress under us, making the headboard collide with the wall every time his cockhead met my cervix.

"T-too much! You're making me loud, someone's gonna hear us!"

"Ungh, it's only loud because you're screaming." His thrusts deepen with every word, "You just need to stay quiet."

"C-Can't... "

He slows down, drawing away his orgasm before pounding into me at the previous pace, pushing me closer to the edge as my cunt squeezes and flexes around him.

"Oh yes, so...much...tighter..." Zhongli grabs my thighs and throws them over his shoulders as his pounding speeds back up, "Ahn, gods..."

"Yes fuck~ feels so, ah~ fucking good!"

"Aw you gonna cum for me again, hm? It feels that good? Fuck that's it, squeeze me."

I clench down on him tightly, "Yes yes yes~ don't fucking stop. Right th-there."

He trails his right hand down the back of my thighs and uses his fingers to play with my clit making me throw my head back and arch my spine as I cum around Li's cock for the second time.

He drops my legs from his shoulders and holds my hips still as his cock throbs, shooting heavy ropes of cream into my pussy, painting the inside of the thin rubber white, the sudden warmth making me gasp his name once more before he pulled away, catching his breath as he carefully tugged off the condom.

“Your punishment is the inability to walk properly while accompanying Childe on his trip to the Wangshu Inn.”

“W-what? How do you know h-he’ll ask me to go today?”

“Because the only reason I came to find you was to tell you he was looking for you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/n): im literally posting this 2 hours after i got off my plane 😭😭

[lurkingshan]

Love Sea Final Thoughts

I have been trying to wrap my head around my overall feelings about Love Sea, a show that is undeniably flawed but somehow charming anyway, that drops so many threads but does such a good job with a few of its core points that it's hard to be mad. I can't really say that this is a great drama, but I can say that I enjoyed it a lot and I think it's a good watch if you go in understanding some caveats.

Let's start with a few things I really loved about this show:

Mahasamut. A great character, he will be going on my shortlist of Thai bl favorites. He's smart, honest, patient, giving and forgiving but he also knows himself, his limits, and his worth. On top of all that, he actually looks like a normal person, with a healthy body weight and beautiful imperfect skin. So rare in dramas.

Smart class dynamics. I appreciated how much this show grounded Mut and Rak's relationship in their class disparity, how wealth and lack of same was a constant issue between them that was never forgotten, and how its effect on their power dynamic shifted over time as their relationship grew.

Very well-executed sex scenes. The sex in this show is tied to character development and relationship arcs, and every sex scene mattered to the story. We watched the shifting power dynamics between Mut and Rak play out via the sex they had together and by watching their intimacy we learned more about them.

Ridiculous chemistry. The main love story was supported by truly excellent emotional and sexual chemistry. I always believed in the attraction and the feelings between these two, and that helped a lot when the story didn't quite take me where it needed to.

Rak and Vie's friendship. I really loved that we spent time with these two as besties, and that they were genuinely so supportive of each other. Vie was a real MVP in kicking Rak's ass when he needed it.

Meena, the best child ever. What a delightful character who brought a lot of fun and lightness to the story. Her scenes with Mut were a true highlight.

And here are some things that didn't quite work for me:

Uneven focus for the main characters. Once we left the island to go to Bangkok, the entire show was about Rak, his backstory, his issues, his ongoing problems, and his needs, and Mut was kind of subsumed in his story instead of having one of his own. I was glad we got back to Mut's life at the end, but they really should have kept it present throughout so everything didn't feel so one-sided.

Shallow engagement with family trauma. And despite the fact that the story was so much about Rak's issues, the story never actually went deep on them. I still don't really understand a lot about his family dynamics. The show used his dad and cousin as villains and then his mom as an easy out to solve everything at the end, but we never dug into how all these people ended up this way in the first place. It was a real missed opportunity.

Rak's emotional journey. I was on board for much of it, but other parts felt a bit haphazard and all over the place. Sometimes it felt like he was suddenly progressing out of nowhere, and others it felt like he was backsliding just because the plot demanded it. I liked where the story took him a lot but the path to get there was pretty bumpy.

The side couple. WOOF. I have no idea what happened here, but that was a fail on just about every front. Mook was a hard character to love from the start, Vie felt like a completely different person with Mook than in all her other scenes, there was so much lying and manipulation for no good reason, and in the end they were left completely unresolved. If you are on the lookout for great gl pairings, you will not find that here.

So there you have it. This show is absolutely a mixed bag on its execution, so how much you end up liking it will probably depend on how strongly you connect with what it did well and where it dropped the ball. For me, it was a good experience and one I'll remember fondly. I'll definitely be watching the special when it's released and I hope to see this cast again.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: video gamer Steve who is very very private & constantly has competitions with his friends/followers. But one day he does & q&a and someone asks him about his ring/necklace (or something that is noticeable) & he talks about his partner. & Eddie who is a well known musician who talks about his partner Steve. And somehow their fans put it together that Steddie are together. Then they do a really cute q&a on Steve's channel all about their relationship & its really cute

MY LOVE!!! Honestly, if Liam didn't watch so many gamers on YouTube, I would be so clueless. I never got into video games (because I'm so so bad at them you guys it is actually embarrassing) and I never really watched streamers on YouTube or anything. But I know that some of them have like a cult following and so I am picturing Steve to be one of those here. Please don't ask what games he would play because this is a choose your own adventure part of the story. - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------------

Everyone made fun of Steve for how much he talked with his hands. Even on camera, his hands were constantly in the frame, moving and emphasizing his passion for whatever game he was playing for that stream.

He should have realized that wearing a ring on his usually bare hands would have given him away.

It was his first livestream competition since Eddie proposed on their trip to the Maldives.

He was still a little high off of, well, everything, and he wasn’t thinking clearly.

He ignored the first question that popped up.

who got you that ring?

He shared some basic personal stuff with his fans and followers, but he kept most things private, especially his relationship.

But then questions kept coming in.

R U ENGAGED???

usually the girl wears the ring right

If you’re taken I might have to unsubscribe

The last one made him pause.

It’s not like he was an idiot, he knew that there would always be a handful of people who followed him because he was attractive. He didn’t mind, especially because some of them would message him and explain that they ended up getting into games because of him.

“Okay, wait. Sorry guys. Um. I wanna address something before we start the actual stream.” He held his hand up, looking over at the ring Eddie proposed with. “I share a lot with you guys. I came out about a year ago during a stream as bisexual, and it really shouldn’t have been much of a shock, but it caused a bit of a…thing.” He grimaced. “And I guess most of the reason that I came out then was because my boyfriend had come out as well, and it felt like something we could do together without actually doing it together. Most of you know I was just gone for a week on a much needed vacation. I was with my boyfriend, and he proposed while we were there. I said yes because he is the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend my life with.”

Steve put his hand down, sighing.

“I understand if that makes some of you unfollow me, but I do hope you look at yourself and try to come to terms with why that is what makes you unfollow someone you enjoy watching. Anyways, the ring is beautiful, and it's a simpler version of one he wears every day, so it means even more.”

He felt relieved, but also a little stressed, and knew he’d be calling Eddie as soon as this was over to talk to him about everything.

“Let’s get gaming!” He gave his best smile to the camera.

—-------------------------------------

“Yeah, we had a nice week off together, alone, and I finally got to propose. I don’t think we left the bed for 24 hours after that,” Eddie laughed.

The interviewer laughed too, used to Eddie’s jokes and blunt answers.

“I’m glad you got to spend some time just the two of you. This has been a busy world tour for you and Corroded Coffin and you’re only halfway through!” The interviewer, Hannah, stated. She smiled at him when he nodded. “Anything new planned for the second half of the tour?”

“We can’t give out secrets, Hannah, you know that,” Eddie smirked. “But Gareth did say I should tell you about one thing.”

Gareth definitely had a crush on Hannah and had pouted endlessly about being scheduled for a different interview at the same time as Eddie’s interview with her.

“Oh?” she leaned forward, eyes gleaming.

She maybe had a crush on him, too.

“He actually wrote a song that’ll be on our next album. He doesn’t usually get bit with the writing bug, but someone’s inspired him,” he winked at her, smiling at her blush. “Anyway, it’s been added to the setlist for the second leg of the tour and we’re all really excited for everyone to hear it.”

Eddie felt his phone vibrating in his pocket multiple times. All the guys knew he was in an interview and couldn’t answer a call, so who the hell was calling him?

It was easy enough to ignore through Hannah’s next question, until it started again.

He reached in his pocket and checked to see who it was, eyes going wide when he saw ‘Stevie’ with a picture of them on their vacation lighting up his screen.

Steve never called twice in a row unless it was an emergency. He knew if Eddie didn’t answer, he was truly busy.

He felt his heart racing as he looked back up at Hannah, who instantly seemed to catch on to something happening.

“We’re going to a commercial break, but when we’re back, Eddie’s gonna share a few hints about the next album!” Hannah said, immediately shutting the mics off and gesturing for him to get up.

Eddie took off his headphones and stood, walking out of the room as he answered the phone.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just-”

“Hey, no, it’s not bothering me. I was just in a radio interview with Hannah so we had to cut to commercial break before I could answer. What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned that something terrible had happened.

“Fuck, I forgot that was right now. I’m sorry. Call me back when you get to the bus,” Steve seemed like he was trying to rush off the phone.

“No, Stevie, wait. What’s wrong?” his tone was firm enough to let Steve know he wasn’t going to let this drop.

“Um. I just had a livestream thing. And like, people asked about the ring, so I told them I was engaged and some people just didn’t take it that well and then I went online and some people have apparently put it together that the Steve you talk about is me because of something I mentioned about my vacation and something you posted about the vacation and so I think everyone’s gonna know and I’m sorry,” Steve was panting by the end, speaking a million miles an hour literally taking the breath from him.

“Okay, well, we knew this would probably happen eventually, my love. I’ll just call the guys and we can talk to Chrissy about it if it gets picked up by the media. No reason to panic,” Eddie tried to calm him down while watching through the window to the recording booth where Hannah seemed to be introducing a song to kill more time.

“But I ruined our plan!”

“No, love. People ruined our plan. And it’s okay, anyway. We’ll figure it out.”

“But your fans will be mad that it’s me. I’m just…me!”

“You’re not just anything and any fan of mine who says or thinks that, isn’t a fan,” Eddie sighed. “I love you, and we will figure this out. Whatever we gotta do, okay?”

Steve let out a long breath before responding.

“I love you too. Tell Hannah I said hi?”

“Of course. I love you so much, okay? ‘Til death and beyond.”

Steve let out a small laugh.

“You’re not allowed to use those lyrics in the vows. But I love you so much, too.”

“We can discuss that later. I wrote you a very metal love song that I fully intend to use some of in the vows. Okay, bye!”

He hung up before Steve could argue and walked back into the studio, mouthing an apology to Hannah, who just waved it off with a smile.

Everything would be fine.

—-------------------------------------------

“The lighting isn’t ideal, but it’ll be fine,” Steve was pacing, double checking his set up while Eddie watched.

He tried helping, but kept being told not to touch things, so he ended up just sitting on the hotel bed.

Steve had traveled halfway across the country to do this, his stress was at an all-time high, and Eddie didn’t need to get his head bitten off.

“Five minutes,” Steve said, shaking his hands nervously.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Eddie said, waving him over to the bed.

“No, you’ll distract me.”

“Yes, which is exactly what you need for a minute. Come here.”

Steve sighed, but went over to him, dropping onto the bed and resting his head against Eddie’s shoulder.

“What’s got you so worried?”

“Everything.”

Eddie sighed.

“But specifically.”

“I just don’t want you or the guys to lose fans because of me,” Steve was playing with the edges of the hole in Eddie’s jeans absentmindedly.

“Sweet boy, we lose fans because we endorse a certain amp brand over another. We’ll be fine.”

“This is bigger, though. I’m just a nobody who got lucky on YouTube playing some games,” Steve whined.

“And I loved you before that. If they don’t want me to be happy, they aren’t real fans anyway. You’re my future, not whatever woman still thinks she has a shot with my gay ass,” Eddie said.

“But it isn’t just you who suffers.”

“None of us suffer. We lose some homophobic, idiotic fans who shouldn’t ever have claimed to be fans at all. None of us want people like that around.”

Steve’s alarm went off to signal one minute before the livestream started.

He jumped up and pulled Eddie up with him.

They’d already gone over everything together, discussed it with Chrissy and the guys, even Steve’s manager, Robin, about how this would work.

Steve would pretty much act like it was any other livestream, but Eddie would be there for the first five minutes or so so they could do a quick explanation of things.

Eddie would do a phone interview with Hannah in 30 minutes while Steve was gaming, covering a bit more and answering some questions about their relationship.

Then they’d both have a night off to decompress in the hotel before Steve had to fly back home and Eddie had to head to the next tour stop.

Hopefully, the buzz would die down relatively quickly.

Steve did his normal intro, but Eddie’s hand rested on his knee out of sight, squeezing once when he heard his voice start to shake a little while introducing Eddie.

“There’s been some rumors about us, and we just wanna be completely honest about things so that the rumors stop,” Steve continued. “First of all, we’ve been together for almost four years. Way before I got anywhere with YouTube, before Corroded Coffin had even released their first album. And we were friends long before that.”

“Even though I had the biggest crush on him in high school, I didn’t admit I was in love with him until we both moved to Chicago. Wasted years,” Eddie shook his head.

“Second,” Steve smirked, looking over at him for a moment. “The week off in the middle of his tour had been planned for Jeff to go home and be with his family for his wife’s birthday and daughter’s graduation.”

“Anyone who thinks Steve threw a fit about needing a vacation and made the band take a break is just saying so out of spite that we had to move around one of the tour dates to make the week off work. It’s not up to you to come up with a narrative,” Eddie added, brow raised like he was chastising children.

“And finally, most importantly, what either of us choose to share is up to us. We do not owe anyone any explanations. Our relationship is ours. Being public figures already takes away a lot of our autonomy, and this is something neither of us will budge on. We are willing to share our happiness, but we are not willing to let everyone become a part of our life together.”

Sometimes, Steve said things in such a way that Eddie couldn’t do anything but stare at him in awe. He loved him more than anything, and sometimes the only thing he could do was kiss him.

He did so now, not exactly forgetting they were live streaming, just not really caring.

Steve tensed for a second, but then relaxed, cupping his cheek and smiling into the kiss.

Eddie pulled away and looked back at the camera.

“On that note, I’m gonna leave Steve here to his gaming. If you aren’t nice, I’ll ban you from Corroded Coffin shows for life,” he waved before standing and leaving the camera’s view.

Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly as Eddie walked out of the bedroom, blowing kisses back at Steve the entire way.

—-------------------------------------------

After that, Eddie made random appearances on Steve’s live streams, and Steve flew out to a handful of shows to support Eddie.

It’s not that they were hiding before, but they just hadn’t felt like they should have to try to.

Now they didn’t.

Steve even did a Q&A with the band on tour while playing games with them.

They were all pretty terrible at it, complaining most of the time about how D&D was so much easier than this. Eddie didn’t play, but he sat next to Steve and braided his hair while he kicked their asses, asking them all the questions that popped up from people watching.

When he got to one for him, he smiled and kissed the top of Steve’s head.

“This question is for me. How did you know Steve was the one?” The guys all groaned, but they were smiling. “Well, I knew he was the one back in my first senior year. I tripped on the step into the gym and Steve was the only one there. He helped me up and smiled at me, and I was a goner.”

“He’s lying to you all,” Steve said without looking away from the game. “He knew when I made him homemade banana bread. His exact words were, ‘I’m gonna marry you so hard someday, Harrington.’ and then six months later he proposed.”

“Both can be true,” Eddie pouted.

Steve paused the game and turned to him, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Every moment I have with you proves you’re the one for me,” he said before turning back to the game and leaving Eddie silently shocked.

“This is the last time we come on this thing, Steve,” Gareth said.

“Yeah. You broke him,” Jeff agreed.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my partner not to interrupt me while I'm streaming?

Asking on here because she has Reddit and I don't want to upset her further while I ask for an outside consensus.

I stream video game content as a profession. Playthroughs, mods, tutorials, reviews, ect. I found streaming to be more profitable than pre-filmed video content. I'd say on average I can "work" for 10 - 30 hours a week.

She works on an alternating schedule where she does a week of full time hours then a week of part time hours. All in all, we work pretty reasonable hours between us, I feel, and we are agreeably not lacking in spending time together.

We routinely go on dates, we more often than not have dinner together, and I typically don't stream for more than 2-4 hours consecutively, so its not as if I'm locked up in my office for the majority of the time.

However over the last few months my partner has developed the habit of simply walking in whenever I'm streaming and starting up random conversations with me, playing her own games loudly in the background, constantly interrupting me to read out chat comments or ask questions about the game, ect.

Sometimes it isn't so bad, but generally its pretty disruptive. I wouldn't mind if it was just occasionally or if she just popped in now and then, but its grown to the point where its almost every single stream and I've noticed I've lost a handful of frequent viewers over it.

It came to an unpleasant confrontation over the weekend, when I was streaming a highly requested tutorial walkthrough for a recently released game and she decided to come in, try to sit on my lap and start a conversation about a client's dogs she met today.

I was trying to figure out a polite way to ask her to give me another 40 minutes so I could finish the quest line and shut it down for the day when two people in the chat began to make jokes about how she never leaves me alone and said it 'gave cam check vibes.'

I pretended not to notice, but she did, and clearly it hurt her feelings and she mumbled about having some things to do and left. I felt awful that her feelings were hurt so I closed the stream early and went to find her.

She was pretty upset about the comments and tried to get me to validate that she wasn't disruptive or unwelcome. I assured her that I don't mind the occasional visit or if she wants to play her own games in the background on mute/low volume/with earphones in, but that I have actually been meaning to ask her to give me a little more curtesy when I'm streaming because its hard to have dynamic engagement when I can't actually talk to anyone because she's talking non-stop or her own game volume is distorting the sound.

I tried to say it as gently as possible but it was clear that the more we discussed it, the more upsetting it was for her. She called time on the conversation by abruptly saying she'll just 'never so much as walk past the door' when I'm streaming, and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

She was only working a half-day today and I was streaming between mid-day and the early afternoon. When I said goodbye to her this morning she made sure to somewhat sarcastically assure me that she wouldn't dare interrupt my stream today, and she hoped it went well.

She refused to discuss it further when she came home, or over dinner, and since dinner she's shut herself in the conservatory and has been on the phone to a friend.

I'd like to discuss it further because I'm discontent with her being upset about it, but I'm also not particularly agreeable with me being in the wrong here. Streaming is my job. We pay equal expenses, so its not as if this is just a silly little fake job or hobby for me while she foots the bills. I rely on viewers to get paid, and when quite a few of them leave because I've had to stop playing for 20 minutes to listen to her chat, it could negatively impact my ability to bring home a reasonable contribution.

Ordinarily we can resolve any conflicts or disagreements quickly and fairly. We've never been the sort of couple to spend days being passive aggressive or refusing to talk.

With her being so resolute in being upset and not communicating, I'm at a loss for if I'm actually in the wrong or not for asking her to be more mindful of interrupting me and causing disruptions while I'm working.

What are these acronyms?

[wyattjohnston]

we all have our secrets - jack hughes

summary: sometimes secrets go on just a little too long

word count: 1703

note: don’t mind me, just being extraordinarily late to @callsign-denmark’s birthday bingo.

bingo squares: secret romance + “please stay” + captain’s sister + pining + engagement

Emilie stood awkwardly behind Nico as they walked into the party—she was a reluctant plus one to an engagement party of people she barely knew. Nico, upon her unexpected arrival in New Jersey, had taken it upon himself to make sure she didn’t spend all her time sitting in her room by herself. Emilie appreciated the thought; she just didn’t have much of anything in common with Nico’s teammates and their families aside from the assortment of Swiss teammates he had.

And Jack.

There was also Jack.

Until Emilie saw somebody she knew, she stood by Nico’s side as he did his captainly duties and greeted everybody he knew—if anybody in the room didn’t know who he was, they’d be forgiven for thinking he was the groom-to-be.

She shook hands with the people who introduced themselves, gave polite hugs to the people she’d already met, and blended into the background when Nico stopped to have an actual conversation with someone she only vaguely recognised. Nico would remind her when they got home that he’d like her to make an effort, that he didn’t want to be the only person she knew in the city.

Halfway through her first drink, Emilie’s eyes drifted around the room, drawn to the main doors of the function room, and locked onto Jack as he entered. He was already looking at her. Her smile was instant if not subdued. Despite the tugging she felt in her body, she kept her feet firmly planted so that Nico wouldn’t have any reason to ask questions.

Jack had no issues making his way directly to her, though, under the guise of greeting Nico.

“Come with me to get a drink?” Jack asked Emilie, already guiding her to the open bar with his hand hovering over her lower back.

Neither of them said another word until they were at the bar and well out of earshot of Nico.

Jack leant in close, his voice hot against her ear as he whispered, “Holy shit you’re so hot.”

Emilie kept her attention on the bartender, trying to flag him down, even though she knew her cheeks were flaming red and anybody who saw the colour with Jack pressed so close to her back would be able to guess the sordid things Jack was continuing to whisper.

They tucked themselves away at a low table in a corner once they had a couple of drinks in hand, sitting a respectable distance from each other but still with their heads tilted towards each other to hear each other over the music and loud conversations happening nearby. Under the table, Emilie hooked her foot around Jack’s ankle because her desire to hold his hand couldn’t be satiated.

“I think they’re about to do speeches,” Nico said, catching Emilie’s attention. She tried not to look caught out at how close she was to Jack, but Nico didn’t seem to notice.

He passed a champagne flute to her, Jonas handing one to Jack, and they all stood to listen to the speeches. With everyone else standing in front of them, Jack’s fingers brushed against Emilie’s and let their pinkies link.

Keeping their relationship a secret hadn’t been the intention. Neither of them had specifically voiced out loud that they weren’t going to tell Nico—it had just been a given because when they’d slept together for the first time it was just supposed to be sex and Emilie didn’t exactly like the idea of her brother knowing who she was sleeping with.

As it became more and more like a relationship, it never came up and, three months later, it very much felt like it was getting too long.

Luckily, Nico didn’t ask questions about where Emilie disappeared to when she wasn’t sitting around at home, so she never had to lie to him. She wondered, sometimes, what excuses Jack made when she was over, and Nico asked to hang out. It just felt like tempting fate to ask.

Cuddling up to Jack was so easy, sitting between his legs and watching him play a video game. It wasn’t her favourite pastime by any means—the story of Hitman was fascinating even if the gameplay wasn’t her cup of tea—but it was easy to lean back against his chest and be near him.

“I should think about going,” she said reluctantly as she pulled out her phone and realised it was after eight.

Jack dropped the controller onto the coffee table, his arms wrapping easily around Emilie’s waist, and holding her close. Emilie melted into him, tilting her head when he nudged it, letting him press a kiss to her neck.

“Please stay.”

How could she say no?

The worst part of it all was that Nico and Jack were best friends. It was great having Jack around; it was just hard when he was at the apartment to spend time with Nico and not her. At least not exclusively.

Nico didn’t have any issues with Emilie crashing his hang out time with Jack, whether it was watching television or just listening to music and vibing. She drew the line at watching them play FIFA, though, because there wasn’t even a plot to follow.

If Jack came over for dinner Luke was never far behind, and the four of them ate whatever had been decided on. Emilie was exhausted, truthfully, at the effort it took to not stare at Jack the entire time—he had far fewer qualms about that, though neither Nico nor Luke ever mentioned it—and she longed to be able to hold his hand or just be pressed up against his side.

“Em and I will get the dishes tonight,” Jack said when the table was cleared of food.

Emilie put on a show of being affronted that he’d volunteered her to clean up, but when they were tucked away in the kitchen, away from prying eyes, she let Jack sweep her into a hug and breathed him in.

“I missed you,” she sighed, making sure to keep her voice low. Jack hummed in agreement.

They did actually wash the dishes—loaded the dishwasher, at least—always standing close and always with unsubtle touches that would give them away if either Nico or Luke walked in.

The unspoken secrecy kept going, even as Emilie spent more and more nights at Jack’s. While he hadn’t asked directly, Nico’s line of questioning was getting less subtle. He asked if he should expect her home whenever she left, instead of waiting for her to text him after she’d left, and he started talking about things he’d done with former girlfriends as if he was trying to give her ideas for dates.

His lines of questioning still never had her lie outright, for which she was thankful.

The fact that he and Jack had almost the exact same schedule made it incredibly easy for her to navigate the apartment building without being seen. By Nico, anyway. One of their neighbours absolutely knew what was going on, watching Emilie slink between the apartments at all hours of the day.

“Did you forget to do any washing?” Nico asked, laughing when he saw her on the couch after coming home from a road trip.

“No?” Emilie responded with a furrowed brow.

“That’s a Devils’ hoodie.”

Emilie held out her arms, looking down at the Devils’ logo splashed across her chest—she frowned at it harder and then, out of pure instinct, rushed to cross her arms. When she looked back at Nico, it was clear he’d seen exactly what she had.

“That wasn’t a thirteen, was it?”

Her eyes fell shut, knowing it was a direct question she couldn’t lie to him. Lying by omission had been hard enough.

“No.”

“Jack’s who you’ve been spending all your time with?”

“Yes.”

Nico nodded once, his face impossible to read, and disappeared down the hall to his bedroom. Emilie sighed to herself as she looked back down at the 86 printed onto the hoodie. She didn’t even know when she’d picked it up from Jack’s, much less why she hadn’t realised what it was when she’d pulled it over her head that morning.

She sent a quick text to Jack—‘Nico knows. I’ll call you after I’ve talked to him’—and took a steadying breath before following Nico down the hall and knocking gently on his door frame.

“Yeah?”

Peaking around the corner, Emilie felt her heart in her throat. Nico didn’t make her nervous, typically, but the unchartered territory she was approaching had her uncertain.

He didn’t seem mad, so that was a relief. His face was contorted, though, confusion and hurt displayed for the entire world to see.

“I didn’t mean to keep it from you,” Emilie said, entering the room and standing at the end of Nico’s bed. His hands stilled on the clothes in his open suitcase. “It wasn’t even supposed to be anything and then it became something and… I’m in way over my head here.”

“You’re telling me. Did you think I’d be mad? That I tell you I couldn’t? Because he’s my best friend and I can’t think of anybody I’d rather you date—and I think you’d be good for him, too. I just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me.”

“Can I tell you now?” she asked hopefully. “I’d like to tell you. I really like him.”

Nico’s face shifted into a small smile, the underlying hurt not entirely disappearing, and he told Emilie to sit down while he unpacked.

“Tell me.”

The knock at the apartment door had Emilie running to it because she no longer had to be subdued about Jack’s arrival. She threw her arms around his neck as soon as she saw him, absolutely catching Luke in the head with a stray elbow as she did so, judging by the pained noise he made.

“Love that this is something I have to look forward to, now,” Luke grumbled, pushing past them and their doorway make out session.

Jack smiled against Emilie’s mouth.

They held hands as they walked into the apartment, Emilie’s heart swelling when Jack’s fingers entwined with hers instead of pulling away.

tag list:

@fallinallincurls @spine-buster @2manytabsopen @xcicix @sorryjustafangirl @senditcolton @shinyfalcon4 @laurenairay @jarmorie @diary-of-jj @its-bitchin-belle-bitches @sssstarstruck @pr3nt1ss

if you have asked to be on the tag list and aren't noted above... you changed your URL, your blog is super locked down and can't be tagged, your blog has been incorrectly marked as spam (i.e. shadowbanned)

[soo-won]

Letting go - Chapter 259

One thing this chapter makes me think about a lot is, what does "letting go" really mean? Is it something to absolutely aim for? and where does Hak position himself in relation to it today?

Hak is worried above all about the dragons right now, but we know well that he's also making a reference to his experience with Soo-won here. After all, even if Zeno did talk about forgetting them, he never said anything about "letting go" specifically. To let go is however very much something he said word for word about Soo-won in the past (chapter 153). If it wasn't already obvious enough, Hak in his turn makes the parallel between what happened with Soo-won and what is happening now with Zeno.

The end of chapter 153 hinted that even if Hak hasn't reached the point where he can let go of Soo-won yet, this is something that will eventually happen down the road thanks to Yona. And how can we not wish it for him? He suffers from it, it makes him angry, depressed, frustrated, it makes him grieve. Hak has always struggled from Soo-won's betrayal, he first tried to repress the feelings, then started walking a long road of trying to reconnect with and make sense of them, the present and their past together. He was slowly healing, he started being content with having a role in the sky tribe as long as the Yona and the hhb were with him. It was all for the best, everyone was walking in the same direction.

And then chapter 243 happened.

To be honest, when I read chapter 259 I couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this. After all, chapter 243 happened just one year ago, and this chapter devastated me like no story had ever before. This past year I thought hard about chapter 243, I tried to make sense of it in multiple ways and get over the devastation it made me go through. I also needed time, a lot of discussions with friends and the distance to see that yes, it is a chapter where both Soo-won and Hak are at their worst emotionally, and they both give up (among many other things but this isn't a ch243 post) but it won't be the end, it's them both failing to get out of this maze. But I just couldn't accept it. I felt angry. That Hak simply accepted how Soo-won, in a way, pushes him away again and the fact Soo-won will die, be replaced, and there is no hope for him. That he didn't contradict Soo-won saying the country will be fine without him, that this is their goodbye and it's over for them. That Hak will forget what they shared in chapter 61. That Hak is letting go and moving on.

So technically speaking I should be more than happy with chapter 259 and Hak saying he sucks at forgetting and letting go! But well, I got fond of chapter 243 with time. I spent so much time thinking and discussing about it, to engage with it, to question every line and to give them a meaning that slowly started to make more and more sense to me. It became precious to me. Yes I'm this dramatic over a single manga chapter but you have to understand the degree of emotional turmoil it made me go through, it was that bad! Anyway,

So when I read chapter 259, while I feel validated and relieved, I can't also can't help but think "But then, what was chapter 243 for?" What did it change in Soo-won and Hak's relationship? Does it not matter at all anymore because anyway Hak said sike and he actually just can't forget and let go? I can't accept this either. And I don't think that's the case.

And in a way, Hak did let go. But forgetting his dream of walking side by side with Soowon as his equal, on the same path, is different than forgetting Soowon whatsoever. Hak decides he won't remember it anymore and takes a different path. But what does it entail? What does he keep and embrace and what did he let go?

The vow of 10 years that tied Soo-won to the people following him, and the vow of 10 years that tied Hak to him. The formers cling to it, not taking into consideration Soo-won's true self and his ability to change. It chains him. It forces him to act not as his real self, but as the ideal image they project on him. They don't respect what the real Soowon wants, they try to make him the Soo-won that /they/ want. Soo-won changed from 10 years ago and corresponds to neither their ideal, neither Hak's. That's why it was so violent for Hak in 243. Hak couldn't see Soo-won's own circumstances, experience and current struggles and even less accept them. But in chapter 251, Hak doesn't let this vow chain them anymore, and in a way, that helped him gain confidence in the entirety of their history together instead of clinging into one aspect of it, no matter how precious it is to him. So I believe Hak needed chapter 243 to realize he was again projecting on Soo-won, and he needed to part ways to put things into perspective right now with the Zeno plot, so for that it's a good thing.

Still, when I put chapter 243 and 259 together, when Hak said he would forget his past vow to Soo-won and that there was no need to remember it anymore, I still think it was also him giving up, not having the strength to fight back because yeah, what can Hak or Soo-won even do about the Crimson Illness? Soo-won himself is convinced he will die, that he will be replaced and things will be perfectly fine without him, and so that he has to let go of Yona and Hak because what they want is the dragons, not him. He's not completely wrong, but this is not taking into account that both of them still care for Soo-won and want him to be there. That it's not about being replaceable or not, that they can care for the dragons and still want Soo-won to live for no other reason than because he is Soo-won. This is something Hak and Soo-won have both been struggling with since they said goodbye, and they are still coming to term in their own pace that they actually don't want things to end there.

Hak let go of his vow of walking by his side as his equal, but he still cares, he still can't forget, and he needed Yona to put it simply into words for him. It's okay to still feel conflicted, to carry contradictory feelings. What is undoubtely there is he wants him to live and to be there. That even apart, even when his priority is saving his friends and protecting Yona, Soo-won is still a part of him and he can't just erase him from his life. And it's fine. I don't think he should have to if ultimately putting things with Soo-won behind him, letting him go, hurts him so much. He deals with things differently than Yona and he doesn't have to do the same as her if that's not what is good to him. Yona shows that even after letting go of the hairpin, it still doesn't mean she can't think of Soo-won and wish for him to live. Letting go isn't erasing someone's existence from your life, it can just be taking a different path without tearing the bond apart.

But what this all makes me think about is, maybe letting go, in the sense of completely putting things behind them, is precisely the problem with Soo-won and Zeno. They're too good at it. We know they struggle to do it completely and honestly, but they are much better at killing their feelings than Hak, and they're able to at least act and pretend as if they were really letting go. What is so similar between Soo-won and Zeno besides betraying Yona and Hak to accomplish their respective goal and their tendency to hide their most unpleasant feelings, is that they are driven by the conviction that they have no other choice. Why does Soo-won discard people, his soldiers, prisoners, his friends? Because he doesn't believe in a path where he can keep them that wouldn't compromise the rest of the country. Before the coup, despite how much he longed for it, Soo-won couldn't believe a future with Yona and Hak by his side would ever be possible. So he gave up this dream, he acted with this fact in mind, he didn't try to pursue it. A self fulfilling prophecy. Chapter 243 was the same. And Zeno now is exactly the same as well. He doesn't believe in any other solution he could come up with together with Yona. He does what he does because if he doesn't, he is convinced he won't have another chance to be free and to end the cycle. Soo-won pretended the one they knew never existed, while Zeno pretends he already forgot them and that they should do the same.

They push them away, they tell themselves that Hak will protect Yona anyway and they will be fine without them. They let go, put an end to their bonds themselves in an (probably unconscious) attempt to have some agency on the end rather than to wait to be left behind.

But Yona's grip is strong, and despite everything Hak sucks at letting go. For their friends and for Soo-won and anyone on their path. And maybe it is important too to not let go. To be stubborn and selfish about it. To not leave anyone behind, to not avert your eyes from those in the shadows. Maybe "to let go" isn't something to wish for as an absolute solution to grief. Maybe letting go just brings more pain sometimes and is the killer of trying to fight for a better solution. Maybe there is worth in keeping what is precious to you close to your chest and fighting for it against all odds.

Honestly, as I write this I am not even sure of the answer. Zeno does deserve rest and to be allowed to go. And I can't tell if Hak will let go of Soo-won for good in the end. There is definitely a lot of good out of letting people and things go sometimes, even in Hak's case. It gives him the space to explore his feelings and come to term with them, and I don't expect him to live his life with anyone but the HHB. But all I feel is, surely, there is a better way to say goodbye. A way to say goodbye not out of resignation and despair. A way for them to listen to their hearts and be honest with their feelings. So I can only wait and keep faith for it, as I watch the characters slowly but surely try to change their fate and not submit to it.